#it's more of an aspect of my identity

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

a good reason to leave for me:

i honestly think it would be safer for me and therians to not be in the same space sometimes haha. P-shifting isn't safe for many and it can really hurt others.

Although I would love to stay, I know that it's probably safer for everyone to no longer teach it and keep to myself about things that involve how to shift and such.

P-shifting isn't a joke and can harm people who suffer from mental issues and other things of that sort. Its just not safe to teach in a large public space. It's something only some can stomach and be safe while doing. Plus some communities that are too unregulated exist and may mess with people's reality and how they perceive it. Some are too open to allow people to start p-shifting right off the bat and it's just too dangerous that way. (including those that say "oh just wait you will shift eventually but you cant control it at all" those are even worse.)

Theres a very good reason why newer communities are very apprehensive about teaching, or telling, or allowing new people who know nothing about it just hop in and start shifting. Usually if you are coming to the "learning" community (as in, you are following steps laid out by others to understand your identity) there is guidelines, there are warnings, etc. It's just too risky to not follow these guidelines and not listen to the warnings.

Dont start p-shifting right when you find out. Take the time to start a journal. Understand that what you are getting into isn't something that will make you cool or quirky. You risk your mental health if you are not careful. You have to be born to be a p-shifter. You must first mental shift before you can even think about p-shifting. P-shifting is not easy and will take years to even get to a point where you start getting somewhere physically.

The list goes on. When someone who is teaching shifting slacks in saying these things, you can harm someone. It takes a very long time to even get to the point where you may be ready to p-shift. Some never will p-shift. You have to accept these realities too. Not to mention how some older guides, although effective, can be so incredibly risky. (Such as completely shutting out the world and being an animal 24/7. Some people just take it too far and do it too early and ruin themselves.) Its just not worth it sometimes.

Thats why I'm leaving Tumblr. Too open, not safe for neither me nor others looking in. I know I usually don't have these sorts of posts, but I just saw someone in an anon saying how unstable their reality and they were after lurking in the community and it just.... its just so hard to see. Nobody deserves that sort of mental torture. Sometimes I forget that p-shifting actually can be dangerous to some if nobody teaches how important it is to regulate yourself, check in on yourself, and remember that p-shifting isn't for the faint of heart.

It's only for those who have spent so much time over years of their journey, exploring themselves, askong questions, taking breaks, questioning themselves so many times, and checking in, to finally be able to claim that they are able to p-shift. (There is so much more to it than that obviously.) My fourth year of shifting is coming up, and after so long I might be ready to leave the online community permanently and start my journey. (of physically shifting i mean. I spend more time teaching others rather than doing the practice itself right now lol. When i say p-shifting im trying to refer to the whole process, but really talking about the mental shifting and phantom shifting etc. Sorry if its been unclear, many know the whole community as "p-shifters" when in reality "p-shifters" are only those who havw actually preformed a p-shift. I havent yet in my conscious memory so i just call myself a shifter or nonhuman.)

Please be safe. Please, if you are curious about the p-shifting community, remember that it is a mixed bag and not for everyone. As always any community can be a mixed bag, but p-shifting "learning" communities can spiral and be too lax on the warnings and importance of these warnings.

Thats all. (make sure to read all tags fully too.)

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo frowns at his phone.

Or more specifically, at the test on his phone.

Around him, he hears the sound of his brothers tapping their own devices, much faster than he is. Looking up just makes Leo feel worse about his own progress - or lack-thereof.

Mikey’s the fastest, speeding through the test like nobody’s business. He’d been the one to make them all do this stupid test in the first place, so it makes sense that he’s having a blast.

Raph’s slower than Mikey is, but he’s still clearly answering the questions at a steady pace. Sometimes he looks unsure, but he powers through anyway.

Donnie often looks frustrated, which relieves Leo somewhat because at least someone is struggling like him. But that “struggle” isn’t nearly as big as his own, considering that Donnie is answering about as fast as Raph is.

Leo turns his gaze back down to his own test. He’s still near the beginning, he thinks.

He’d put the same answer for the past seven questions - the middle of the road answer, neither a “yes” or a “no.” Then, whenever he does come across one that is more one direction than the other, he second guesses himself and restarts the test!

Sure, there are a few he could definitely give a yes or a no to, but…never the “strongly agree” or “strongly disagree” that the test seemed to want from him.

He eyes his twin sitting nearby, the softshell absorbed in the test. Maybe Leo should copy what Donnie put for some of these…

“DONE!” Mikey’s shout makes Leo freeze in place just as he started to lean over.

“What?” Donnie squawks, “No way you’re already finished, you must’ve been cheating!”

“It’s a personality test, Dee!” Mikey stuck his tongue out, “You can’t cheat at those!”

…

Leo settles back into his seat.

Ignoring Donnie’s mutterings about how it was “just because it’s not an academic test” that he didn’t finish first, Raph smiles encouragingly at Mikey.

“Hey, good job! So what’d you get, Mike?”

Mikey looks back down at his test, reading aloud, “Says that I got the “Campaigner”!”

“What’s that mean?” Leo asks, his phone screen going dark.

“Apparently, I’m an “enthusiastic, creative, and sociable free-spirit”.” Mikey reads, smiling at them, “You think it fits?”

“Oh, to a T, bro!” Leo laughs, giving Mikey a thumbs up, making Mikey’s smile grow larger.

Inside, Leo was feeling a lot more mixed about this. He has no idea how Mikey knew himself so well. Maybe Donnie was right and Mikey did cheat, because how could he answer those questions so easily?

Leo’s phone burns in his hand. He keeps it locked.

“Wow, that really is you.” Raph says, his eyes flitting back and forth between his own test and Mikey, “Do you think it fits?”

“I guess? It’s fun to see at least!” Mikey shrugs with a grin.

“Hold on, I think…” Raph makes a noise of satisfaction, “Okay, done!”

“Sigh, now I’m relegated to the straggler group.” Donnie grumbles, his thumbs moving faster as he tries rushing through the questions.

“Ooh, what’d you get Raph?” Mikey asks, practically bouncing in curiosity.

“Says, uh…I got something called the “Consul”?” He squints his eyes to read more, “Uh, “caring, social, and community-minded.””

“Sounds about right to me.” Leo nods. Can’t be more “community-minded” than being a hero.

“Yeah, no one’s more caring than you, Raphie!” Mikey says, moving to lean across Raph’s shell.

“You do put the community in mind, that’s for sure.” Donnie states, not looking up.

Raph chuckles, a bit embarrassed, “Aw, thanks. It’s just some test, but it feels kinda good to hear that.”

Just a test. Right.

Leo unlocks his screen.

The test stares back at him.

Right. Okay. He can do this. He can.

The screen ends up going dark again.

Frustration builds up in Leo. Was he even halfway done with the test? At this rate, soon even Donnie will-

“FINISHED.”

Leo unlocks his phone.

“What’d you get, DonTon?” Leo asks as his thumb taps the top right of the screen.

Donnie puffs up proudly, a self sure grin on his face, “I got the result “Logician” which states that I, obviously, am an “innovative inventor with a thirst for knowledge.” Truly could not have described me better, if I do say so myself.”

“It is pretty accurate.” Raph agrees with a nod, “Even calls you an inventor, so extra accurate.”

“Super accurate.” Mikey jumps in, eyes shining.

“Yes, yes, almost like reading my own character synopsis.” Donnie’s grin had not dwindled since the word “innovative” had left his mouth.

Leo just nods along, eyes on his own screen as he skims the words. “Yeah, kinda creepy how close it got. Could have called you a nerd for extra accuracy, though.”

Donnie turns to him, eyes narrowing, “Have you even finished your test? I can think of a few words that’d describe you fairly well.”

“Test-y, huh?”

Before Donnie can strangle Leo, Raph cuts in.

“Ok, ok, calm it down, guys.” He rolls his eyes before turning to Leo. “But really, you’re not done yet?”

“Leo’s taking this self reflection seriously.” Mikey sports a faux intellectual expression as he gives a jokingly serious nod. “Maybe we all should’ve taken our time.”

“Says the one who sped through the whole thing in a record time.” Donnie mutters.

Leo waves them all off, “Nah, I finished it ages ago.”

He grins when Donnie immediately shoots him a suspicious glare. “Oh, you did, did you? Then what could you have possibly gotten, Nardo?”

“I’m glad you asked!” Leo clears his throat, “Neon Leon just so happens to be an “Entertainer.””

“Ah. That confirms it. This test is meaningless.” Donnie drones.

“Hey-“

“What’s an Entertainer like?” Mikey asks with a tilt of his head, still hanging off of Raph’s shell.

“Glad you asked, Miguel!” Leo exclaims, “It says that “life is never boring” around yours truly~”

He emphasizes this “result” of his by waving his phone with said “result” on screen.

It’s just an image he found of his chosen personality result, but they don’t need to know that.

Raph nods slowly, “Well, I guess that’s true…”

“”Never boring” is one way to put it.” Donnie hums.

“You are pretty fun, Leo!” Mikey says emphatically, because he’s great like that.

“Thank you, thank you, life of the party, right here.” Leo grins, pointing both thumbs at himself.

He’s careful not to go too overboard with it, or else it might tip someone off.

Not that it…really matters. It’s just a test. Like Raph said.

As the topic around him shifts to something else, jumping away from this brief activity as fast as any other among them, Leo finds himself unlocking his phone and pulling up the test again.

Unanswered questions stare at him. He knows what answers Lou Jitsu would pick. He knows what answers Jupiter Jim would pick. Hell, he knows exactly what answers his brothers would pick.

He doesn’t know what answers Leonardo would pick.

Leo stares at the test for a second longer, before he exits the site and throws himself into the conversation happening around him.

It’s just a stupid test, nothing to worry about.

Just a test…

[beebfreeb]

It is kind of funny how much I've detached myself from appearance directly correlating to gender actually. When I design a character I go. Okay. What would they wear that reflects their personality and surroundings? And I make a character who is a 30 year old divorced man who looks like this:

[wonder-worker]

Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husband’s reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster “in the queen’s name” in 1483 – only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.

[starleska]

can we talk about the brilliant execution of Dot and Bubble's big reveal!!!

i am still absolutely gobsmacked by what a well-written episode Dot and Bubble is. startling, disarming, confrontational, and tremendously impactful. and holy shit i really really want to talk about how excellent the 'twist' (which really should've been obvious in retrospect 😭 was done):

as a white person it took me about ten minutes to clock that Lindy's friend group were a nightmare Aryan Tupperware Party collective: all white, all blue-eyed, and even Gothic Paul was dressed in blues and whites, with no black at all. but you know how i responded to that? mentally i went 'oh i'm sure it's nothing!' and shoved it aside. and i think it is exactly that insidious tendency to ignore, normalise, and validate overt and covert racism that the episode does such a tremendous job of tackling! everything in the episode gives us the lore we need to understand Lindy and the people of Finetime are white supremacists. Lindy's disgusted face and immediate blocking of The Doctor versus the amount of time she spends with Ruby. Lindy's shock at the Doctor and Ruby occupying the same room implying segregation on the Homeworld. Lindy calling the Doctor and Ruby 'criminals' not for being in the Bubble, but for breaking segregation. Lindy using Ricky September, a white influencer, to calm herself down not just from the monsters, but from interacting with a Black person. the tradwife aesthetic of the Finetime residents making a comeback in real-life right-wing racist circles. ugh, there's so much and it was all right in our faces!! yet many of us who aren't POC had the privilege of going through the episode baffled and uncomfortable, without being able to put a finger on why until the final bit of the episode. doesn't that tell us how quickly and easily we've all taken to ignoring both micro and macroaggressions? that we needed talk of being 'contaminated', improper use of the word 'voodoo', and Lindy straight up telling the Doctor that face-to-face contact was unacceptable, to understand they're white supremacists? oh my God 😭😭 what a genius play, to make Lindy so detestable from the start. she's an arrogant, vain, self-absorbed, moronic, uncompromising, traitorous bitch...and by layering that abhorrent personality and then giving us the reveal of her white supremacy, there is no argument even the most wishy-washy of people could have re: their awful views. Lindy and her friends are revolting racists who are so wrapped up in their own echo-chamber 'bubble' that they would genuinely rather be devoured alive than challenge their own narrow, bigoted views. i'm still blown away by the power of Ncuti's final scene. the disbelief, the frustration, the sadness and the fury...and yet the Doctor still tries to save them against all odds. i think the most common response to this episode was 'The Doctor should have gone all Time Lord Victorious on them', and you're right - he should have! but doing that would've affirmed the beliefs of the real-life racists viewers. the Doctor responding not with violence or righteous vengeance is a very deliberate writing choice: we are supposed to come away feeling revolted that he needed to behave that way, to almost be supplicant to the white supremacists. because that is the real-life view of so many people who don't even view themselves as racist: Black people need to 'perform' to a higher standard, than white people just to be considered worthy of respect. the more i watch it, the more i'm convinced this is the best episode of the whole season, and one of the best Doctor Who episodes we've ever had. we were taken off-guard by having an episode overtly about racism set in the future rather than the past, because our tendency is to assume equality is a natural consequence of becoming technologically advanced. this clearly isn't the case, and Dot and Bubble is a masterclass in confronting racism head-on rather than dancing around it for the comfort of white viewers. just. aaargh!!!! absolutely amazing 🔥🔥🔥

[mintytealfox]

Texting the crew (Alice, Melly, and Frederick) after surviving a, psycho human (Orpheus) piloting a mech he made out of radioactive garbage, attack

from THAT au

Updated: I was at work and thinking about the fixes I needed to do was driving me actually insane LOL

[gingermintpepper]

In light of my recent Asclepius and Apollo musings, I feel like it's the perfect time to post this, actually.

How do you build a human being? 

Bold question. Foolish question. But a question it is all the same. 

The memory of his father’s consternated expression is still bright behind his eyes, that unusually furrowed brow, the tension in his gentle jaw. He didn’t falter in his setting of Asclepius’ broken shin, hands perpetually steady and sure, but he hesitated for a conspicuously long moment as though reluctant to give an answer. In this body, he resembled Orpheus something fierce. The same flaxen curls of his hair, the same delicate eyelashes that stand stark against the dark brown of his skin. Often Asclepius wondered if his elder brother was nothing but a body built to suit their father’s preferences. The subtle wrinkle of skin around their eyes when they smiled was the same, and the steadiness of their hands, the soothing power of their presence. 

And Orpheus did not bleed like Asclepius did. The blood in Asclepius’ veins were as red as any human’s, any mortal’s, but Orpheus seemed not to bleed at all. Even when he’d suffered the same fall down the crumbling cliff as Asclepius had. Even when his skirts had ripped and jagged stone sliced into his shanks. 

Even so, Orpheus was unmistakably alive. His eyes were rich with grief fresher than any blood spilt from the worst of Asclepius’ wounds, his counsel too, was tempered with the wisdom of a life well lived. So even at the apex of his most perfect, inhuman beauty, Asclepius never once doubted that his brother was a human being. Just that he was more divine construct than flesh and blood. Just that their father had built for himself a son that would not break as easily as all the others. 

His father stayed silent for so long that Asclepius assumed it would be one of the million questions that would go unanswered. Then, just when the last of his bandages had been wrapped - 

“A human body is easy to build,” he’d had that faraway look on his face as he spoke, like he was speaking to the horizon. Or a version of Asclepius that was not quite here. Such things happened from time to time. “Any flesh would do. From men, or animals, or even monsters. Any flesh would do.” Their gazes had locked then, and Asclepius would never forget the flecks of gold which swirled in his father’s blue eyes, the weight of divine words rattling at the boundaries of their mortal apparatus, “But the breath of life, a living soul? That is beyond your means as a mortal man. You ought never seek it.” 

(Asclepius would remember these words when he revives a man for the first time at the age of nineteen. He’s surprised to find that his father is wrong for once. Souls are easy to source when they’re already eager to return to their mound of flesh.) 

[fromtheseventhhell]

Remember George's outline notes that had "joy of giving" and "mercy at the gate" for Arya? Mercy is crossed out and we obviously have that as her sample chapter, so what if Arya's next alias is "Joy"? Over-thinking the significance of that phrase and how it could apply to the rest of her Braavos arc🤔

[jaybybyby]

So anybody gonna talk about how Aiden Hale's pronouns are he/him, and how every article I've read on the shooting says this, and then proceeds to use she/her and his deadname, Audrey? I don't care what a person does, using their correct pronouns is not just a privilege you take away. Use his correct pronouns.

Also hey before you make any comments or send me any asks about this, please read this ask I responded to since I'm tired of clarifying myself

Since this post ended up in radfem spaces no more reblogs ❤️

[shorlinesorrows]

don’t mind me I’m just busy having Feelings over the scene in the Moon Knight tv series where Marc meets the avatars/gods for the first time.

words can’t describe how distressed I got when Harrow showed up and started speaking, dripping poison into the words “he is unwell” with a tint of false concern, just the right amount condescension, and a spoonful of pity

thinking about how from that moment Marc (and the whole system) was disregarded as unreliable despite the fact that the situation had nothing to do with their DID. thinking about how the avatars and their gods stopped listening to him.

thinking about how the moment someone is neurodivergent, or disabled, or different in any way that isn’t palatable, that’s “scary”, they stop being worth listening to

not a person, just something to disregard, lock away, or pity.

And how Harrow got away with it, how he was able to frame himself as the caring “good guy” for revealing this incredibly personal piece of information to a group of people who had no business knowing it, effectively silencing someone who desperately needed to speak. For his own gain.

[transmandrake]

Hrm hrm I hate that this is kinda becoming my Thing but this is my blog so I can do what I want-

Thinking on trans intercommunity issues and how utterly abysmal we are, like two brick walls we're both building leaving anyone who doesnt fit the narrative in the middle.

And I think one issue is the lack of clarity between genders as identities and as political, social structures.

I don't think it's real helpful to wax on about trans men being men, not being men, 'socialisation', misandry, etc etc without clarifying and understanding gender as not just like, an aesthetic, a personal framework, but as a vessel of societal structure.

I think, for trans women in particular, and transmisogyny as a (imo flawed but not baseless) concept, where identifying as a woman, presenting as a woman, is a political position of vulnerability, as well as an identity.

The reverse, and here is where I think a lot of hurt comes from, is that the opposite is laregly untrue for trans men, because... Well, the patriarchy and misogyny suck. We / they reject it.

Identity, and political social role, are incongruent for most trans men. Rejecting this paradigm is, to me, the source of (again flawed but useful) concept of transandrophobia- A type of man who embraces masculinity, manhood, identity, but rejects the corresponding structural role.

Conversely of course some trans men are misogynistic...? No, that's not right to me. Everyone is misogynistic because we live in a misogynistic society.

Some trans men embrace the structural role. They are not the focus of transandrophobia because they do not contradict the system. Presumably, they benefit from this.

This is I think where the source of 'misogynistic trans men' comes from...

But as detailed I think this is a systemic issue, not a trans or gendered issue. Women are plenty misogynistic where it benefits them- it is transphobic to suggest trans men are uniquely prone to this because of their gender.

Of course I think society pressures trans men into fulfilling their expected role- Specifically, with the intention that they will fail.

This is unique to trans men systemically (but not socially) as trans women are already seen as failing at their intended structural role- succeeding as a woman is seen as accepting their lesser status.

In a misogynistic society, you can fall, but not rise. (Socially however we are all pressured to perform- but I feel this is different.) and so a trans man, in a... less transphobic society, is accepted as a man if they check the boxes.

But as detailed, to check the boxes is to be complicit in patriarchy and misogyny as systems.

Trans men are uniquely discriminated against, even or especially by 'trans-friendly' spaces, because their identity is contradictory to their chosen role.

Trans men whose identity and role matches, pass the test.

Therefore... no trans man can pass *systemically*. It is not possible. Not without upholding the system. And the system is not our friend.

It does not matter how easy or hard it is for a trans man to pass *socially* or *perceptually* because they will never be accepted on these terms alone. The system does not allow them to exist- transandrophobia is the result. It is the pressure to either lower yourself to the status of woman, or betray yourself.

And betrayal is not final- just as cis men need to perform to the system, perform misogyny, trans men are still trans, are still subject to transphobia, and so no matter their 'sacrifices', they will never be free. There is always another checkbox.

To bring it around... Honestly? Yeah, I think trans women 'have it worse'. I worry about anyone who presents like that to society, as society is particularly and remoreselessly cruel to them.

But trans men are not unique forces of misogyny or patriarchy. The suggestion... is transphobic. When you say these things, you are actually *agreeing with the system* that they should fulfill their role.

There is no shortage of voices that want us / them to shrivel up and shut up so we / they stop being living contradictions.

There is also no shortage of voices insisting we 'man up' (a neverending pursuit) and fulfill the role we're expected to. Acceptance in the patriarchy is conditional, and the condition is self-annihilation.

Those who choose this are, while tragic and pitiable, fully culpable and complicit. But not monstrous either. It is after all what everyone wants and expects.

This dynamic is complex, and the concepts of gender, passing, presenting, sex... I think we are hurting each other because the system has been neglected in the conversation. I think this is what transmisogyny attempts to address, but... well, it neglects the unique systemic pressures on trans men.

So is transandrophobia the solution as a concept? Honestly neither works. I like transunity as a term but its still underdeveloped and evidently hasnt fostered much unity.

Misogyny is not the force at work here alone. Misandry is not the missing piece because it is not systemic.

But the patriarchy is. And no one is exempt from that.

[matoitech]

self portrait warmups from earlier attempting to incorporate my soonish hair change, doggy style. what. my fursona just looks weird to me without a hat LOL

[kamaradka]

tbh i hate the "transphobia FAIL! local transmasc passes super well but transphobic idiots still call him a woman!" and "when ur friends transphobic mom introduces her 'daughter' and he looks like House MD! LOL" jokes sooo much! i actually believe they contribute to transmisogyny (not to mention that correlating someone deserving respect in one's gender and how well that someone passes is... dehumanizing to say the least).

trans women trying to pass by ridding ourselves of "masculine" features is often incredibly difficult, expensive, and painful— and in fact we are no more deserving of transphobia even if we look like those hairy, muscular, broad, burly transmascs in your memes...

on a very basic level, nobody should have to endure medical changes for their body and identity to be respected. thats like.. basic feminism, right? yet it is currently a whole meme that "looks like man = man" ... do u not see how trans women will suffer for this? that we always suffer the most for shit like this?

[dino--draws]

Happy pride motherfuckers. To the like six people on SCP tumblr who know who these guys are do you see it. Do you see my vision.

[saturnisfallingdown]

a big part of the queer online kid to queer online young adult progression for me was losing all interest in labels. not in a distasteful way!! just. losing interest .....