#it's messy but it is my favorite section so far

[somerunner]

Of course, as a practicing member of the church, and being someone who's easily swayed by propaganda, I view the history a little differently. But not all that differently (only just enough to voice that I view it differently), so I'm not going to make a post trying to write out my preferred version of events. That's a far lower priority than engaging with this post on what I agree with.

The thing is, sanding off our rough edges really is a tragedy. I think that sanitizing our history or steel-manning it is a tragedy. Even if it's something that most if not all religious organizations and countries do, if your reported (note: "reported," not "recorded," but records are reports after a fashion, so it really doesn't matter) histories lose the messy complexity of the past, they fail to adequately prepare you for the messy complexity of the present.

The church was and is composed of people, and people get panicky when their in-group comes into conflict with another in-group. The deeper the ideological divide (note: or the deeper divide in any category, but in this case it was primarily ideological), the worse the conflict. And no matter if your ideals are to be peaceful, you get a large enough group together and there will be agitators within it, and followers of those agitators.

I don't think of myself as a good person. I think that's why I stay in the church -- for both of the reasons you might expect from that last sentence (i.e. it makes me better the more I participate in it, and in addition I'm not principled enough to strike out on my own). I feel compelled to both defend and criticize the church in the same breath, because doing only one of those things feels wrong.

I don't know where I was going with this. I hope this didn't come across as a defense of the church any more than your post did, and I hope it didn't come across as too critical either. I think your story linked above (the "I was taught by one" part right before you bring up Fallout) is one of my favorite stories of a devout member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He's a little kooky and quite vindictive, but dedicated to being better and to trusting in God. That's probably the best I can hope to become, though I'd probably be trading vindictiveness for waffliness (i.e. the tendency towards waffling, or failing to decide).

There are plenty of published articles and talks within the church or by active members of the church that I feel have acknowledged this kind of messiness within it, but I feel like only acknowledging this from within the bubble makes me feel some kind of sheltered. I'd still be remiss to not mention them, though, hence this paragraph. Of course, some of them still feel a bit sanitized to me so they'd feel wildly sanitized to most Tumblr denizens, but I think a few might be something the average tumblrite could stomach. My favorite (and one stomach-able by the readers here, I think) is probably the opening sections of Letters to a Young Mormon by Adam S. Miller, that read rather similarly to your autobiographical posts. I still haven't finished the thing after several years, and it's only like 80 pages, and a miniature book at that.

Happy trails, Babylon. I mean, bloody and desperate trails, Babylon.

Would you mind sharing the psalm and why you felt that person was the most humanist Mormon? I'm not religious at all but I find these sort of things very interesting.

In exchange I could offer the reason for my url ?

I'm warning you, this is kind of a mega essay, and it's fucking unhinged. Click at your own risk.

(Alright. You clicked.)

Psalms 137

By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept

when we remembered Zion.

There on the poplars

we hung our harps,

for there our captors asked us for songs,

our tormentors demanded songs of joy;

they said, “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!”

How can we sing the songs of the Lord

while in a foreign land?

If I forget you, Jerusalem,

may my right hand forget its skill.

May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth

if I do not remember you,

if I do not consider Jerusalem

my highest joy.

Remember, Lord, what the Edomites did

on the day Jerusalem fell.

“Tear it down,” they cried,

“tear it down to its foundations!”

Daughter Babylon, doomed to destruction,

happy is the one who repays you

according to what you have done to us.

Happy is the one who seizes your infants

and dashes them against the rocks.

———

Mormonism has layers. Different cores of believers, cultures within itself. The largest group of Mormons also dominate its image within the larger culture. You know them as the nerdy, cheerful, bubbly dorks on South Park, or the hopelessly naive childlike weirdos from the Book of Mormon musical. Strangely sanitized, "wholesome" people that are, clearly, unwhole. Missing some essential part of the human experience.

(Pain, maybe?)

I think that embracing this image is letting Mormonism view itself as what it wishes it was. A group with all its rough edges sanded off, all its raw and desperate humanity scrubbed away. A clean and godly and slightly unsettling image of joy.

That isn't how it started.

Now, most people know the story of Joseph Smith. Fourteen year old farm boy starts a cult because the whole world if full of idiots, I won't repeat it because you've probably already got it from South Park. But at some point that weirdo cult did become a religion, and I would point to that moment as the Mormon War of 1838.

I don't know how far after the founding that was. Enough that Joseph Smith was a grown man. Enough that the Mormons had around 15-25 thousand members. They'd moved to the Illinois-Missouri area and were establishing settlements.

(They creeped the locals out. Of course they creeped the locals out.)

Eventually, they got pushed out of the county they'd claimed. Jackson County, it was. The state couldn't actually take that county from the people that expelled them, so to try and make the Mormons "whole" for the land they'd bought (ignoring the houses and farms they'd already set up) it gave them a new county.

Next election that came around, that county was sieged. Voting was blocked. Now, the people of the state were terrified that this weirdo voting block was going to take them over. They probably weren't wrong. Some former Mormons had straggled in from the county revealing a frankly corrupt land dealthat the early church had used to transfer resources to itself, and that served as a tipping point. To prevent their state from becoming a religious basketcase, a mob sieged the Mormon county during the next election.

The state tried to return order by sending the militia in to break up the siege, but the militia mutinied. They joined the siegers. A ground of strange, extremist violent Mormons known as the Danites rode out and attacked local settlements that were known to house the families of the militia members.

The Governor at the time - Lilburn Boggs - sent out an executive decree. The Mormons were traitors, and were to be killed on sight. It is the only religion in the US to have ever had such an order made against it.

The Mormons surrendered their county and went to Nauvoo, Illinois. There were again expelled from that city in 1846, and traveled west.

They died in great numbers and they never forgot the homes they lost.

———

I tried to tell the story as sympathetically to the people of Missouri as I could. The Mormons made messes wherever they went, and they unsettled everyone they interacted with. But they were attacked as well, and had a history of violence against them. It should not be totally surprising that they became insular and strange.

Many (most?) Mormons that learn all of their history wind up leaving the religion. It has twists and turns and knots and it is incredibly, overwhelmingly human. I think that's where the facade of Mormon perfectionism comes from - the shame of that. The desire to be something else. But being human is all I've ever wanted. And occasionally, there are people faithful in the church - layers upon layers deep - that know their history.

And they are angry about it.

I think it's more common than people realize. Did you know that until 1930 Mormons swore literal religious oaths of vengeance against the US government for the deaths of Joseph and Hyrum Smith?

I always felt like these were, in some way, the real Mormons. They knew their history, and they loved their church, and they hated what it had suffered all those years ago.

They scared me, those people. But they seemed complete. More complete than the people that had carved out everything that didn't make them smile. They'd walked into the mirror, and touched their shadow, and danced with. Melded with it.

And I knew a few like that. I was taught by one. And he didn't convince me, but he interested me. Gave me some respect for the people I left behind.

———

In the game Fallout: New Vegas, there is a character named Joshua Graham. He's a Mormon. Not like the silly children in adult bodies that they always use on TV. He has gravitas. He has put away his moral compass before, to pursue the dream of one powerful man. Poured his soul into it, helped that man conquer the whole west in piecemeal. He's a somewhat on the nose analogy of the Mormon people themselves, following Joseph Smith. And when he finally failed, when he fought a battle he could not win on the gates of the Old World Hoover Dam, he was lit on fire and thrown into the Grand Canyon to die.

But he did not die.

He says he survived because the fire in him burned brighter than the fire around him. And it seems that way when you speak with him in game. There is something compellingly bright to him. Not shiny like a new toy, or a Utah teenager that hasn't seem just how grim the world can be. He's something blinding, compelling.

But that brightness casts shadows.

He is vicious. He was saved in the canyon by the family he left, the old Mormons of a new world. And he's trying to find that part of him again, regain the soul he lost pursuing someone else's vision. But that old vicious animal part of the covenant is with him. I see Joshua Graham and I see the animal that the Mormons became to survive the West.

And in the game, there is eventually a choice given.

You can lead the tribe Joshua has joined up with out of their Zion. Their Jackson County Missouri. Peacefully and perfectly and inhumnanly transcendant, the way the Mormons wish they actually were about everything. You can give him the chance to be what Mormonism has always wished it could be. Or you can fight with them and help them reclaim their paradise, but get your hands stuck deep in the muck of this world.

Joshua Graham knows his history. He knows all the homes his people lost. And whatever brightness he's trying to regain, whatever soul he's trying to win back from the world that takes and takes and takes and takes - he wants to give it all up again to let these people keep their home.

He knows his past and he is angry.

And as the player, you help him make peace with one of two things: Being human by being fallen, or keeping his soul at the cost of reliving the ancestral trauma of losing Zion yet again.

Both were pretty visceral decisions for a Mormon teenage Babylon to make.

(Tagging @boonebignaturals in this because I need a witness to my madness.)

[ranger-kellyn]

Getaway Car WIP (3)

In celebration of hitting 25k for nanowrimo, have the section i'm the most pleased with so far <3

as always, it's nano, so no editing and this is just me throwing words on the page.

if it was it's own chapter, i would have titled it "in which they're supposed to be fucking but they wont STOP TALKING" (so plenty of kisses but no actual smut)

-

    With a pop the fridge opened, light filtering into the space, leaving a yellow glow on the tile below.  “Any ideas for lunch?” Cynthia asked, kneeling down to get a better look of what was inside.  For someone who didn’t enjoy cooking all that much, Cynthia was amused by how much of an ‘ingredient household’ she was.  

“I was thinking,” Diantha trailed off as she walked into the kitchen, running her fingers through her hair, working out any small tangles from undoing the braid.  “Be honest with me: do I need to feed you now, or would you be interested in picking up where we left off?”

The formality of it almost made Cynthia laugh.  She stood up, closing the fridge all in the same motion.  The rainstorm that had rolled through left the whole apartment in low, moody lighting.  A soft yellow glow from the lamps around the living and dining area. 

“Took me a while to realize you were worked up– didn’t know it was that bad,” she teased, crossing the kitchen to her.  “Hop up,” she added, getting Diantha to pull herself up onto the bartop’s counter, standing between her legs. 

“Really?” Diantha asked, enough of a tilt of her chin to invite her to kiss, leaning into her mouth as she did so.  “How long did it take you to notice?” So much for stressing over being obvious.  

She shrugged, leaning away, hands either side of her hips.  “Probably the last few takes.  Whenever I realized you kept speaking in your Scarlet voice,” she said with a laugh.  

Diantha laughed in turn, leaning back on her hands as a presentation of sorts, loving the lack of discomfort in the motion.  Men and society in general had left her with a nagging voice in the back of her mind, worrying about the lack of curves on her own body.  Women rarely ever made her feel that way – at least not to her face.  

“I thought for sure you were onto me,” Diantha admitted.

Cynthia shook her head, letting her eyes wander over her body.  She knew a presentation when she saw one, and wasn’t about to not appreciate her.  Maroon was a nice color on her.  “I just assumed that with how experienced of an actress you are, you weren’t feeling anything.  I figured I was the only one getting worked up, and even then, I was still more focused on not focusing on the cameras,” she said, the both of them breathing a laugh. 

Diantha leaned up, brushing Cynthia’s hair back into place, a soft kiss to her cheek.  

“But then I started to realize, ‘I don’t think she’s really coming out of character between takes’.  You were so strictly in Scarlet’s voice– which I then– I don’t know.  I don’t know what it’s like talking with an accent all the time.  My voice is already close enough to a generic Unovan accent, so I don’t know.  Sounds exhausting.” 

Diantha shrugged with one shoulder, wrapping her arms around her neck.  “It was easier this time.  More practice and all that,” she said.  

She knew it wasn’t conducive to anything they were trying to do, but being who she was, Cynthia couldn't refrain from asking.  “I know you said you had to spend time on a gun range for the role– did you have to do anything for the speaking part?” 

Diantha laughed more audibly.  “I did.  Spent a few months with a vocal coach– Is this really what you want to talk about right now?” she asked, amused. 

Cynthia shrugged.  “Knowing how a person thinks, how they learn, learning how you approach things��� is it weird that that’s kinda hot to me?” she asked. 

Warm affection sat high in Diantha’s chest as she looked into her steely grey eyes.  She was being genuine. There was nothing mocking or demeaning– if anything she seemed almost shy to admit such a thing.  

The warmth and depth of the feeling– she shoved down the desire to say the love word.  

“A very you thing to say,” Diantha instead said, emphasizing with a kiss against her soft lips.  “You’re–” She laughed, pulling away to shake her head, not wanting to finish the thought. 

“What?” Cynthia asked, amused as well. 

She looked off to the side, hedging her bets on how what she wanted to say would go over.  There had to be a way to deliver it that would at least elicit humor like she wanted, however, it also ran the risk of offense.  “I was going to say,” she began, returning her attention.  “I didn’t realize I was fucking such a nerd,” she said, both breaking out into a fit of laughter.  

Cynthia pulled away, pointing at her.  “You didn’t realize I was a nerd? I know for a fact that you’ve walked in on me and Steven geeking out over rocks!” 

She threw her head back in a laugh, knowing exactly what she was referencing.  One of the earlier international meetings she had attended as champion.  If she remembered right, it was being held in Hoenn that year, and when she had finally joined the rest of the champions in the main conference room of the Lilycove hotel, Cynthia and Steven had been deep in a conversation about something she wasn’t entirely sure of.  A bunch of terms and words that she later would learn were related to geology.  Not close enough with either of them at that point, she had simply taken her seat, and kept to herself. 

But that wasn’t how she knew Cynthia was a scholar.  “That’s not what tipped me off, darling,” she said, reaching up to tap her nose.  “I–” Her conscience had caught up to her at that point, reminding her that she was unsure how Cythia would react to what she wanted to say. “I don’t know if I should admit this,” she said.  

“Admit what?” Cynthia asked, not a clue of where she was going with the thought. 

Surly it wouldn't go over badly, she told herself.  People engaging with their work and research was what researchers were going for, after all.  Diantha wanted people to watch the shows and movies she was in– Surely Cynthia wanted people to read her own papers that she likely spent countless hours of her life on. 

“The first meeting Kalos joined the league alliance,” she started, Cynthia giving her a quick nod.  “I was having a lot of anxiety about that meeting the weeks leading up to it.  Not only was I a new champion, but I was the first formal champion of the Kalos League.  I had no clue how I would measure up to anyone, how I was supposed to present myself– I needed to at least ease my mind with a little research,” she said. 

“And I’m the nerd?” Cynthia asked with a laugh, kissing her forehead. 

Diantha quirked a brow, but said nothing otherwise to acknowledge it.  “Knowing I would be spending a fair amount of time with all the champions, I put together a list of all the champions and their Elite Four so I could at least look everyone up and have some basic understanding of who was who.” 

At that, Cynthia started to understand where she was going.  Not too much would come up on an internet search of her name… “Oh no,” she said, humor in her tone. 

“Don’t say ‘oh no’!” Diantha responded.  

“You read one of my research papers, didn’t you?” She asked. 

“What do you think was one of the top results when I searched your name?” she asked, a laugh in her voice. 

She shook her head.  For her, it was an obvious answer.  “The Distortion World Papers,” she guessed, rising dread in her stomach.  

Diantha nodded.  “Exactly.  If I’m being even more honest, that whole paper was one of the reasons I thought you would never want anything to do with me,” she admitted. 

That gave Cynthia pause, not following her logic.  “Really?” she asked, pulling away.  The mood from earlier had shifted enough to call for some distance.  

“Can you blame me?” Diantha asked, crossing her arms.  

“I mean– I don’t know.  Nobody willingly subjects themselves to my huge-ass papers,” she said, quickly tacking on, “Not unless they need help falling asleep.” 

Diantha scoffed at the notion, reaching out to push her in a playful way.  “You’re such a–” She shook her head, not having any real descriptor to follow up with.  “That’s not the kind of paper you could just dangle in front of me and not expect me to read!”  She cracked a smile, thinking back on reading the paper, hindsight making it all the more humorous.  “I even cancelled a date with Mel that night to keep reading,” she said, getting a small laugh from Cynthia. 

“I’m not following.  Why would anything in that paper make me want nothing to do with you?” she asked, scouring her mind to remember what she had written verbatim.  

She had stepped back enough to allow Diantha to cross her legs, getting herself as comfortable on the countertop as she could, mindful of the glasses on the shelves below her.  “I had never heard of the Distortion World, nevermind half the pokémon you wrote about.  It was equal parts horrifying and…” She shook her head.  “Fascinating.  Here was what might have been one of the most horrifying firsthand accounts I had ever read in my life.  All written in such a way that…You were the bravest, most daring– truly inspiring woman I had never even met.” 

As quickly as the mood had changed, Diantha managed to bring it right back around.  

Her red lips pulled up into a smile.  “And then I saw you in person for the first time,” she began more softly.  “And not only were you all of that, you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.  And you were smiling, and I remember you laughing at something Steven and Wallace were saying to you.  Smiling with the two of them like you weren’t someone who probably has some of the most horrifying imagery burned on the back of her eyes.” 

Cynthia found herself hesitating.  In a way, she felt understood.  Understood in a way that nobody aside from Dawn or Steven seemed to.  She had always been treated as though she simply rolled with the punches and didn’t have any sort of negative effects from the Distortion World.  

Thankfully, it had been a while since her last nightmare about the place, and dark rooms had gone back to being comforting rather than triggering.  

“You were brave, daring, and inspiring, but above and beyond all of that– you are…” She blinked a few times, trying to gather the right phrasing.  “So resilient in a world that is so unkind.” She wanted to reach out to touch her, lay a gentle hand on her cheek, kiss the other.  Anything to let to not just tell her, but show her how she had felt then, and still felt now.  She restrained herself, wanting to leave as much distance as Cynthia needed, knowing very well she was saying…A lot. 

A tightness had gathered in the back of Cynthia’s throat, overwhelmed with emotion.  Understanding, kindness– they had been so casual up to that point.  She did consider them friends, but there was something in the undertone of what she was saying– She had to beg herself to not blurt out that she loved her.  Even though it was all she wanted to say, she was terrified it would be too emotional.  

Too much.  

Too soon.  

Too vulnerable. 

“And so who was I in comparison to you?  Why would anything about me attract the attention of someone as all-around stunning as you?  I’m just…” She shrugged, squeezing herself.  “Just some woman who was lucky enough to be born into a family with enough wealth and status to afford all the schooling to make me a teen actress.  The only awards tied to my name stem from nothing more than the sheer luck of being considered ‘conventionally attractive’,” she said with a bit of a sneer.  

The dig at herself was enough to pull Cynthia back into herself.  “I’m not about to let you tear yourself down to make me seem taller,” she said.  “Miss Always In The Running For Most Charitable Celebrity.”  She wasn’t the only one who had looked up the other out of curiosity at some point.   

“Come now, darling, do what the media does and remind yourself that it’s nothing more than a PR stunt,” she said, unwilling to accept the compliment.  

That upset Cynthia.  “A PR stunt would require you drawing more attention to yourself rather than whatever cause you’re giving to.  At least within the circles I run in, I’ve never once heard of you doing that.” 

It was a sort of unwavering support she received from rarely anyone outside of Siebold.  Mel had always dismissed the worry, saying she needed to get unstuck from her head, fuck the media— support that never truely eased her mind.  

Silence sat heavy between them, broken only by the soft sound of fabric moving as Cynthia shifted her weight to the other foot. 

“Sorry–” Cynthia eventually said.  “If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s killing the mood–” 

“No–” 

They both clearly had the bad habit of cutting themselves down.  Diantha hoped it would be something they could work on together.  

“Darling, I’m the one who started all of this,” she reminded.  She had brought up the Distortion World Papers to begin with.  “I’m finding myself…I don’t know…Amused? At all the invisible strings we had tied to one another.  Maybe it really was only a matter of time before something gave and one of us reached out to the other in some way.” 

Cynthia breathed a laugh, letting the tension fall from her shoulders as she stepped closer one again.  “Can I tell you a secret?” she asked. 

Diantha hummed her question. 

“I also thought you were absolutely stunning when I first met you,” she admitted.  

She smiled, relaxing her arms, a silent invitation to step back inside her orbit, should she choose.  She did.  “You did?” 

She nodded.  “I’m a sucker for blue eyes,” she said, getting a genuine laugh from her.  “I just remember you shaking mine then Steven’s hands, introducing yourself, but off in a hurry.  Since your region was hosting, neither of us held it against you– we just turned to each other and went ‘oh my god’.” she said, getting another laugh.  “And I remember Steven saying something about you being even more stunning in person, and– yeah, he was absolutely right.” 

The wave of emotions that crashed over her– they really could have saved themselves a lot of trouble had they just had the courage to say something.  

She breathed a laugh, shaking off some of the tension in her body.  “Had I just gotten over myself–” 

Cynthia had been thinking the same thing, but shook her head.  “But– if I’m being honest, five years ago…?” She shook her head.  She would have been 22, almost 23.  “That was still so recent to my ex cheating on me.  I’m honestly glad you didn’t know me then.  I was in…such a shitty place– Steven even called me out a few times on things I did or said.  I needed these last five years to even figure out what kind of person I wanted to be.  Because me five years ago?  You probably wouldn’t have ended up liking me, because I know I didn’t like who I was trying to be.”  

She wanted to ask her to elaborate, feeling the confession was out of character.  How could anything the woman in front of her do or say something that would have caused such a reaction from Steven of all people? 

Cynthia crossed her arms, internally cursing herself for killing the mood once more.  “I mean– you experienced firsthand how I was at the beginning of filming,” she pointed out.  It wasn’t entirely fair for her to talk about herself from five years prior as if that version of herself no longer existed.  She still reared her head in plenty of ways.  

Diantha shook her head, tucking her hair behind her ear.  “I’m not following,” she said. 

Heat clawed up the back of her neck.  “The way I assumed the absolute worst of you.  How I thought you were only trying to help me as a way of mocking me– Diantha– that’s how I used to treat everyone. Steven, too…” 

There was something so…brutally honest about it– so painfully self-aware. 

“I don’t even remember what I was being passive-aggressive about, but he finally had enough and just said to me, ‘It genuinely breaks my heart how you always assume the worst of me.’” She shook her head, still mad at her younger self for going down such a path.  “Clearly I still have some work to do,” she added with a forced laugh. 

Diantha slid off the countertop, grabbing both of her hands.  “Can I tell you a secret?” she asked.  

Cynthia breathed a laugh, silently nodding.  

She leaned up, keeping her voice to a whisper.  “I probably would have treated you badly, too,” she said, smiling when Cynthia ended up throwing her head back in a laugh, clearly not expecting the confession.  “I know who I was at 22, I would have played the field with both you and Mel.  I would have made you all the promises in the world and kept maybe half of them.  That’s the kind of bad I was.”  

“Don’t say that–” Cynthia tried to defend, but Diantha was quick to cut her off.  

“My dear, I say this to let you know that I am well aware that I am not a perfect person.  I don’t need you to be, either.  I’m still glad I finally met you.”  

Whether it was her intention or not, I’m still glad I finally met you.  Finally.  They had met five years ago, but in some ways, they really had only met recently. 

It had been a long time since anyone had truly made Cynthia feel like there were butterflies in her chest.  She had always hated the metaphor, finding the mental image to be more uncomfortable than anything– but how else was she supposed to describe the fluttery, Everything Is Going To Work Out, If you asked me to run away tonight I would do it without a second question, nauseating feeling in her chest?  

“I’m glad I finally met you, too,” Cynthia said, Diantha quick to wrap her in a warm hug.  

Cynthia had never considered herself necessarily good at letting herself want things, especially from other people.  Wanting had only ever earned her pain, so it had been easier for her to want and expect nothing from anybody.  Sure, she could go out on dates with people, but she always managed to find a reason as to why they couldn't work out.  Occasionally the reasons were genuine– Dezerea had said she never wanted to get married, a perfectly acceptable reason.  Most of the time, it was something superficial as not feeling a spark.  

Diantha’s arms around her were so warm and secure– the wall she had so carefully laid brick by brick had come tumbling down, bringing with it every way she could possibly want...

[bloom-into-blue]

𝕊𝕡𝕚𝕔𝕖 𝕌𝕡 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝔹𝕖𝕒𝕥

summary: your girlfriend's performing tonight with her band, and you're more than excited to see zoya in action! what kind of action you'll actually get, however, is something else entirely.

contents: drummer!zoya x fem!reader, established relationship, reader wears a skirt and makeup, fing.ering, some light degradation, some spanking (all of these reader receiving), cunn.ilingus (zoya receiving), a hint of body worship (zoya receiving).

word count: 3.3k

author's note: zoya being a drummer in official material just made things easier because funny story, this is based very loosely on real events. i was at a battle of bands once and met a really hot drummer, complimented her playing and she hugged me. i later got shoved into a wall when a metal band began playing and the front of the crowd became a mosh pit.

you feel so out of place here.

zoya’s band is performing tonight at a bar, and obviously, any self-respecting girlfriend would go to their girlfriend's concert, right? it's only natural! you've even gone as far as to make a banner in dark cloth with bai yi’s, eleven’s, serpent’s and zoya's names spray-painted on it, though anyone can tell there's favoritism when zoya's name is bigger than the others and there's messy hearts around it. whatever, you're happy to show support for the band, but you're also very much devoted to your pookie (that absolutely loathes being called pookie, hence why you do it).

…all that said though, you're still by yourself in the crowd in a place you're not used to, dressed in a relatively short skirt and a blouse that leaves your shoulders exposed. it was supposed to be something to tease zoya, get her to smirk and say, “oh, you just couldn't wait ‘til we got back home?”

now though, there's a breeze that makes you shiver and you're attracting less desirable attention. now there's less excitement and more desire for zoya to just whisk you away. all this skin you're showing is meant for zoya and zoya alone!

it seems like whatever god is out there is rather merciful though, because suddenly there's a hand that grips your wrist and pulls you away. at first you turn around in shock, already on edge, before you recognize your girlfriend's tall form and her silky, silver hair. just like that, you're smiling eagerly while you let zoya guide you to the backstage section only musicians are allowed.

the second you're behind the stage, zoya's glaring at you with furrowed brows. “c'mon princess, you should've texted me. it's obvious from miles away that you're uncomfortable,” she scolds while still gripping onto your wrist, her touch a bit more gentle now that it's just the two of you.

“s-sorry, i didn't know if you'd be able to answer,” you try to explain, suddenly feeling sheepish before her.

despite still being somewhat worried about you though, zoya sighs softly before a bright grin rises to her face, and suddenly her hands dart behind your thighs and she lifts you up like you weight nothing, which prompts you to let out a shocked little squeal. “z-zoya!” you exclaim, clearly flustered.

“what? i'm just happy to see my girl here, cheering for me!” she counters eagerly, and suddenly you're reminded of why you spent so much time working on that banner and wanted to remain in the crowd: so zoya could see it and see that cocky yet thrilled expression of hers.

the way she smiles is too much for you, and with a fond grin, you lean down while she's still lifting you up with those strong hands, then kiss zoya's lips so tenderly you'd think she's made of porcelain. of course, zoya's happy to kiss back, though she keeps it chaste because god knows she won't be letting you go if you deepen the kiss even a tiny bit.

“gonna be cheering for me in the crowd?” zoya whispers against your lips and you just know her lipstick left marks over your own. “or do you wanna stay near the stage? we can be even closer that way.”

“won't you get in trouble for sneaking me backstage though?”

“eh, who cares. i'm not letting my girl stay where she doesn't wanna.” as she speaks, one of her thumbs gently strokes the spot where your thigh meets your ass, and while normally that would drive you crazy, all it does is melt your heart.

“hm… if you're sure, babe. i'd rather stay near the stage.”

“consider it done.”

you kiss her on the cheek, both to show her your appreciation and to leave a mark of your own on zoya. “you're a darling.”

behind the two of you the unmistakable noise of bai yi fake gagging can be heard while eleven tells her off with a little laugh, meanwhile serpent signals that their band is up now. zoya pouts at being called away, though she goes right back to grinning at you with that usual, wolfish smirk of hers. she gives your ass a gentle pat, something that makes your cheeks burn, then sets you back down down and adjusts her own clothes.

“wish me luck, doll.”

as she leaves, you throw her a kiss silently, then smile brightly when she catches it and kisses her hand in response, walking backwards so her blue eyes stay glued to yours until she's properly on stage.

gah, you love her to bits.

“now, this group's a bit of a newer integration, but you may have heard of ‘em, so give it up for… path to nowhere!” the announcer shouts into a microphone before handing it to serpent, and the crowd goes wild while she sets it up on a stand.

instead of wasting any time, all that sounds is zoya slamming her drumsticks together as she shouts, “one, two, three, four!”

the crowd's already lively and raring even though less than a minute has gone by, aided by the punk sound of your girlfriend's band, to the point where they're already moshing with serpent’s voice as their background, and suddenly you're glad zoya read your comfort levels and pulled you to a more secluded area where you can hear them play just fine. it allows your focus to go entirely towards your girlfriend.

specifically, you can see the way zoya's jacket doesn't quite cover her tattoed shoulders and biceps, how she's already somewhat transpired as she grins from how excited everyone is. each hit she gives her drums resounds and vibrates across the place, you can quite literally feel the beat through your entire body as it reaches your heart, and yet it's still little compared to the way it throbs every time zoya glances your way between each roll against her snare drum.

she sends a wink your way once the first song is over, and you happily lift the banner for her to see, something that makes zoya laugh upon seeing her name dwarf the others. you're the only one who knows why zoya's laughing.

it's nice, the little things like that between you and your girlfriend.

before you know it, zoya's band is done and the next band is up, though you keep the handmade banner held up high when zoya and the others meet you back beside the stage.

you hear bai yi asking if they blew your mind, eleven thanking you for the banner, serpent eagerly running to hug you as thanks for the support.

they're all a bit too late for you to process them though, because zoya's arms are wrapped around your form in a tight embrace and obviously, ever the loving girlfriend, you wrap your arms around her all the same. she's warm, a tad sweaty and her breathing’s a bit labored from getting too into her playing, and you still find zoya to be the hottest woman to ever step foot on this planet. hell, her panting might be turning you on.

she surprises you by leaning in and whispering into your ear, “let's get out of here already, yeah? i don't have to stay here anymore and honestly, i need to fucking ravage you.”

your eyes immediately go wide and you pull away to stare at her like a deer in the headlights, yet zoya's smirking at you and staring right back like she didn't just threaten you with a good time, as surprised as you were. “got all worked up?” you whisper with a little smile, letting your hands rest on the slight curve of her hip while hers are far more adventurous.

“of course i fuckin’ did. did you forget what you're wearing or somethin’?” zoya grumbles back, and for a moment you had, you had genuinely forgotten you wanted to get a rise out of her with this short skirt that barely even reaches the middle of your thigh. still, her hands moving to hold your hips are a wonderful reminder of one of your main goals tonight.

“what about the rest of the bands though? i even made this-”

“come to my place and hang it above my bed.”

you find it hard to object to zoya's solid argument.

amongst the band’s objections and curious questions, zoya simply leads you away and out of the bar, the two of you giggling like you're drunk despite having drunk no alcohol at all, simply because zoya makes you feel giddy and she enjoys teasing you about it.

the two of you call an uber to go to zoya's apartment, but the second you're inside, your girlfriend decides she's done holding back. the second she's done giving her direction and without a care or worry, zoya crashes her lips into yours and her hands travel down your thighs to dig her fingers into the flesh there. you let out a muffled gasp against her eager mouth, happy to part your lips so zoya can push her tongue inside and claim you like she obviously wants to. her hands go further under your skirt now, groping at the round flesh of your ass, and zoya just about growls against your lips. you don't realize it, but this woman's been thinking about pulling you into a corner and pushing at least two fingers inside you the second she saw you in the crowd of that bar.

the car door presses against your back uncomfortably though, distracting you from zoya's eager hands, and so it's a blessing when the uber driver awkwardly announces that you've arrived at your destination.

zoya simply shoves some cash at him and barks for him to keep the change before eagerly unlocking the door behind you and lifting you like she had done before, something that once more prompts a shocked gasp out of you. she carries you while leaving hungry, almost clumsy kisses across your neck and jawline, to the point where you have to be on the lookout to avoid bumping into anything while zoya leaves her lipstick all across your shoulders.

the heat of the moment doesn't die down when you finally reach the door to zoya's apartment, where she finally lets you down to reluctantly open it as fast as humanly possible. in the blink of an eye, you drag her into the apartment and she matches your energy, instantly closing the door behind you and pushing you against the hard surface.

“you think you're so clever,” she grunts before pausing to nibble and suck right onto your pulse point and leaving a dark hickey there. “thought i’d pounce you the second i saw you.”

you would've been right, but she's never going to say that part out loud.

“you're mine, doll. if anyone's gonna see all this skin, they better know i'm the one that's got you covered in marks.”

“i-i’m all yours,” is all you can whine under your breath, already feeling like your mind is entirely blank even though all zoya's done is kiss and grope you. it's just that easy for her to turn your body into her plaything.

“atta girl. all mine,” zoya praises with a smug smirk before she pulls off her jacket and unbuckles her belt a second later. your eyes brighten up like you're seeing a christmas present, and it's almost second nature to fall onto your knees before your girlfriend, something that makes her chuckle. “eager, aren't you? that's a good slut.”

you don't answer zoya aloud, but instead lean forward to press sloppy kisses over her abs, and the sigh she lets out when she takes in the sight makes you clench your thighs. you continue to press your lips against her taut skin, covering her in messy lipstick marks while making your way down her navel. a silent glance upward, a request for permission to continue, and zoya bites her lip while tangling her fingers across your hair. “show me what that tongue can do,” she doesn't say, but commands.

eager, you pull her pants and boxers down until her cunt is exposed, because you know she likes fucking you while clothed, and you dive to drive your tongue between her drenched lips like a starved man. “fuck, that's it,” you hear her grunt while giving her clit a few licks for good measure, then press your mouth against the edge of her entrance, collecting all the slick zoya's making just because of you, and that thought alone drives you crazy.

you don't get to bask in that thought for long though.

zoya's grip on your hair tightens a second later, and you whimper before leaving your tongue flat, knowing that's just a warning before she's rutting against your tongue and guiding you by your hair into whatever side she so desires. “good god, such a pretty mouth,” she grumbles between labored breaths, and you're more than happy to let her use your tongue to her heart's content. her clit keeps brushing against you, bringing out grunts and groans out of zoya like she's losing her grip on reality. between the way she looks down at you like she owns you, eyes clouded from the pleasure, makes you clench your thighs while your cunt squeezes around nothing.

“gonna cum soon. you better be a good little whore and take it all,” she grunts while still riding your mouth, pushing down against her entrance. you moan against her and push your tongue inside while nosing her clit to try and make her reach her peak. obviously, you're more than happy to comply with her request.

the second zoya creams into your mouth, it's hard to not let out a pleased moan, for you love the way she tastes against you. she trembles above you with a loud groan, her grip tight and borderline desperate on your hair, though that simply makes you moan louder into her drenched folds.

when she's done though, her grip loosens, and you see the softness in her gaze when those lovely blue eyes look down at you. “good girl,” she whispers while gently stroking your hair with a shaky hand.

you pull away from her, smiling brightly at zoya. “i live to serve,” you murmur softly, something that brings a chuckle out of her.

“alright now, i'm pretty sure i've got a promise to keep,” zoya says before taking you by the wrists and pushing your front against the nearest wall, her chest pressed against your back as she holds you there.

“z-zoya,” you gasp out, only to let out a breathless sigh when your girlfriend's hands start to travel across your body in ways she couldn't allow before. one of zoya's hands goes up your blouse and under your bra to toy with your breast and pinch the nipple, something that brings little moans out of you, much to her delight. the other hand meanwhile lifts your skirt from behind and two of her fingers instantly start brushing against your clothed cunt, the fabric already ruined from how turned on you are from eating her out.

“all this for me?” zoya rasps into your ear and smirks to herself when all you let out in response is a needy whine. between her hand playing with your tits and the fingers that don't quite go inside you, she's making every fiber of your being ache to just let her claim you already.

suddenly though, the hand playing with your chest darts away, and before you can ask zoya what’s wrong, she brings it down onto your ass cheek with a loud smack. instantly, you cry out at the sensation, caught off-guard… though you arch your back a bit a mere moment later, allowing zoya full access to your body.

“you don't get to tease me, dressing up like this for one of my shows,” she scolds before giving your ass another smack; the skin is already turning red. “you've got no idea what it was like, seeing you like this and having to hold back just ‘cause i've got a show.”

“i-i’m sorry-” you begin with a shaky voice, only for your words to morph into a sharp moan as she smacks your other ass cheek with the hand that was teasing your drenched in your own slick.

“i'll make you understand what will happen if you dress like this again.”

christ, this just makes you want to do it again as soon as possible.

zoya then pulls your soaked underwear out of the way until your panties fall to your ankles, and without waiting for a single instant, pushes three whole fingers into you while still sporting that smug smirk of hers, which only widens at the loud moan she drags out of you. “just like that, yeah. keep making noises like that while i'm the one that fucks you.”

you obey without complaints, something she makes not just easy but inevitable. zoya's fingers fill you up as she pumps into you at an already unbearable pace. the way she pants and growls into your ear only makes you clench around her fingers more, which makes her chuckle lowly against you and in return your cunt flutters around her, trapping you in an endless cycle. her fingers move in and out, already accustomed to your walls like it's her second nature, and it only takes her a moment before her fingers curl up against your g-spot and ram into it like she's trying to bully it.

“zoya, fuck, p-please,” you gasp between wanton moans, focusing on the way her body presses against yours while her fingers go in and out of you.

zoya laughs, though the sound is eclipsed by the wet noises coming from below and the moans coming from above. “please what, babe? c'mon, you're a big girl, so use your words.”

it's hard to speak at all right now, but somehow you manage. “c-close. please lemme cum,” you plead, then squeeze your eyes shut to focus on the pleasure she makes you drown in.

“just like that, yeah. that's my slut,” she says as her free hand darts to your front and starts rubbing your clit with two fingers. instantly, your eyes go wide and the volume of your moans grows, feeling breathless under the assault of her fingers that fuck you from all possible angles. you can't think, you can barely even see beyond the stars she brings to your vision, yet zoya remains relentless as she fingers you.

the only warning you give her is a sharp gasp before you cry out and let your head fall forward, a sudden stream of cum shooting out from between your legs that coats her hands and some of her floor as well.

“goddamn,” you hear her whisper in shock, awe and even pride, though it's almost impossible to think through your orgasm. she helps you ride your high while slowing the pace of her fingers, until she finally stops and slowly pulls away to hold you from behind in a tender hug.

“you were beautiful there, babe,” she whispers, gently pushing your hair away to leave gentle kisses at the back of your neck. this woman behaves like a beast more often than not, but zoya still treats you like fragile porcelain when she's done making you see white. it's something that only makes you love her more and more.

with tired breaths, you smile back and close your eyes, enjoying the way her lips feel against you. “you were awesome too,” you praise, “both here… and on the stage.”

the soft laugh she lets out against your skin makes goosebumps rise where she breathes. “damn right i was. i gotta be cool onstage when i know my girlfriend's watching.”

the next morning, when you wake up in your girlfriend's bed with your head tucked comfortably under her chin and soft snores coming from zoya, a glance upwards makes a wide grin rise to your face.

the banner you made for her and the rest of the band hangs there, above the bed, proudly.

[daycourtofficial]

Falling in Love on the Fourth Floor - Part 7

Summary: Out of an act of desperation, you move in with a guy you kind of know who happens to have a really hot brother who lives next door.

Author’s note: eeeek I’ve had parts of this one in the drafts for AGES the middle section has been drafted for at least a month I swear and I’ve been sitting on it like 🧍‍♀️ waiting to share it. I think this is my favorite part so far (but not my fav overall 🥰)

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Masterlist)

Your day had been shit. Ever since that godsawful date Mor ambushed you with last night, you couldn’t stop yourself from wondering about Azriel and Nesta’s date. What they were doing, how things were going, if she was making him laugh.

Hell, you couldn’t stop thinking about their date while on your own date. The guy was good looking, and he wasn’t terrible, but there was nothing there between you two.

He also was very into cryptocurrency, a topic that quickly took over the conversation at dinner. A topic you did not encourage him to continue on. He somehow didn’t get that memo, insisting on walking you up towards the doors of your building when he was dropping you off, where you had made a lame excuse about going to bed early before ducking into your building.

You had followed the same path Azriel took only moments ago, continuing on to your own apartment. You open the door, finding a note on the fridge in Cassian’s messy scrawl.

Have fun.

He drew a winky face, and then several crude drawings on the post-it. The drawings made you groan, Cassian’s enthusiasm for your date further solidifying your nonexistent chance with his brother.

Of course Cassian would have Mor set you up after he found out about your little crush on his brother. You felt so stupid when you saw Nesta on their couch earlier today. You hardly spoke to Rhysand on the way to lab, your thoughts too flooded with how terribly you had read the whole situation.

Cassian probably told Mor all about your dumb crush and got her to fix you up tonight. Maybe Azriel had even mentioned your text to Cassian, asking him what to do about the annoying roommate who developed a crush on his brother.

Your chest hurts, but it was just a silly crush. You’ll get over it.

Eventually.

-

Azriel stood in the elevator, waiting for the doors to close as he looked at his phone, looking at the last message you had sent him Friday morning.

Wanna grab lunch tomorrow?

He hadn’t answered, his phone having been on silent all day to focus on finishing his work for the next week and the reception in the library not allowing messages to come through. He hadn’t seen the message until he woke up this morning, the timestamp seeming cruel.

Now he stares at it and wants to throw his phone. Missed opportunities, he supposes. But what would this lunch have looked like since you’re dating that dickhead from last night? Would you have had to reject him outright?

He can see your face contort in a smile as you tell him, “oh no, Az, I’m seeing someone.” Then you’d probably laugh about it with the dickhead.

He runs his hands down his face when he hears someone yelling, “hold the elevator please!” He juts out an arm on instinct, not noticing who it is. He sees you slip inside, the doors bumping against his arm, bringing him back to reality as he looks down at you.

Fuck.

A light scent of oranges fills the elevator, and he notes it’s likely from your shampoo. He pulls his arm from the door, allowing them to close, locking the two of you in the metal box.

You look up at him, eyes going wide, cheeks heating in embarrassment at the close proximity. You’re standing right in front of him, and you can smell his cologne, a scent of night-chilled air and cedar filling your nose. You take deep breaths, telling yourself that it’s okay, it was just a little crush.

On a very pretty, smart, and very kind guy.

Who smelled incredible.

You look down at your feet, unsure how to speak to him now that you knew he was dating Nesta. And not wanting to further embarrass yourself by flirting with him.

Gods, this was how you were going to die, you think, shuffling to lean against the rail. Azriel’s voice puts a halt to the spiraling of your thoughts.

“Nice date last night?” Azriel asks, trying not to let whatever he’s feeling bubble up. Your eyebrows shoot up, unaware of Azriel even knowing about your date.

Of course he knows, you think, Cassian probably told him he’d handle it.

“He spent the while night telling me about stocks and crypto and how he wants to be in Forbes 30 under 30,” you scoffed, “so no, it was not nice.”

The elevator starts moving, and his eyebrows shoot up. “So that wasn’t your boyfriend?”

You scoff, “hell no. Mor ambushed me yesterday. She told me to get dressed up and we’d go out and have a fun girl’s night, but when I showed up she texted me that she set me up instead.

“The worst part is Mor was so confident that she told Cassian about it, so he had stayed at her place last night to give me ‘privacy’. He even left crude drawings around the apartment to help the ‘atmosphere’.”

Azriel laughs as the elevator dings for the third floor. He feels his chest lighten, knowing you definitely weren’t seeing anyone. “Mor’s always been ambitious, hasn’t she?”

You laugh. “Maybe it was just a ploy for her to have sex with Cassian.”

You say it, but you know it’s not true. The real truth was they wanted to put you out there, help you get over the beautiful man standing next to you. They knew you didn’t have a shot, especially compared to Nesta. You’re brought back to reality, and decide to hurt yourself further.

“How was your date with Nesta?” You ground out, after a pause in your conversation. You needed to know so you can completely cut off your feelings for him. You needed him to pierce you with the final dagger.

His eyebrows arch up, and he looks at your expression.

Were you upset? You won’t meet his gaze, and you’re clenching your fists. Were you - jealous?

His mouth curls up at the thought, “uh it wasn’t a date. Nesta and I study together every Thursday night. We take a lot of the same classes. We did it last night instead because she was busy on Thursday.”

Your eyebrows raise in surprise, “so you’re not dating Nesta?”

He laughs, “absolutely not. No that’s an avenue I’d never go down. But there is some-“

His words die as you hear a screeching sound and the elevator stops completely, leaving you two stranded somewhere between the first and second floors.

“No - no, no, no.”

You start freaking out - elevators always gave you a bit of concern, their small dimensions making you feel cramped. You hit the button to open the door, jamming it with your finger. Realizing that it was fruitless, You pull out your phone only to remember that the elevator always has no service.

“Fuck,” you mumble, and your breaths start coming faster and faster, and you’re trying to remember your calming techniques, when you feel cold hands gently grab your cheeks.

“Hey, look at me.”

You look up, finding hazel eyes looking back at you. They’re etched with concern, not a trace of mockery in them.

“We’re okay. Breathe with me, can you do that?”

He grabs one of your hands, placing it on his chest so you can feel his breaths as they come in and out. Your eyes stay trained on his, not wanting to look away, wanting to get lost in the gold flecks you find there.

You start following the rhythm of his breaths, but he keeps talking to you in a soothing tone. You’re too focused on breathing to register what he’s saying, but you do register the soothing tone he’s speaking to you in. You could get lost in his voice, its deep timbre a melody in your ears.

Eventually you come back down enough to focus on what he’s saying and he’s telling you about his night - everything he did yesterday.

“Rhys texted me to get some trash bags on my way in, which is where I was coming from when I pulled up and found you with crypto douche.”

You smile, your first real reaction to his words since the elevator stopped.

“There she is,” he says, his finger tapping your cheek, “wanna tell me more about crypto douche?”

“He wants to be a landlord.”

Azriel snorts, “of course he does.”

“I didn’t even want to go on this date,” your eyes stay locked with his, the golden flecks calming you down. “But Mor has been begging me to go out with this guy for ages, and then she finally decided to ambush me by forcing it on me.”

“You know you can tell Mor “no”. It’s a complete sentence.”

“I know,” you sigh, “but she loves playing matchmaker, even though she’s awful at it. Usually once every other month I let her set me up, but she was just throwing a tantrum I wouldn’t let her set me up this time once I figured out the rouse.”

He doesn’t let himself linger on the fact that you haven’t let her set you up since meeting him. Coincidence, maybe. “Have any of them been successful?”

You blow out a breath, “uh, no. Usually I stay for an hour then leave. None of them have ever gotten a second date.” You pause, thinking. “In the words of the great philosopher of our time, “I’m a pathological people pleaser,” you chuckle.

“And who said that?”

“…. Taylor Swift.”

He looks at you, a chuckle on his breath, such tenderness in his gaze it shocks you a bit. “You should stand up for yourself more.”

“I’m… not really sure how. It’s kind of new to me.”

You look at your feet, but he taps your chin so you’ll look at him again. “I stood up to my parents, and it was the scariest thing I’ve ever done.”

You had tiptoed around the topic since your admission to Cassian the day you moved in, the wound still too raw to discuss with anyone other than Feyre. Mor knew some of the details, but not the whole story. You’re sure Rhys and Az knew that something happened with your parents, but you never let them know too much about it.

They didn’t know that your parents had told you that you became everything they had tried to avoid. That, despite everything they did for you, you didn’t turn out right.

You hadn’t told Mor because you knew she would have burnt down their house with them in it.

“It was scary, moving here with a guy I hardly knew.” His grip on you tightens slightly, and he’s hanging onto every word you say.

“But I don’t regret it. Not even when Cassian wakes me up at 6 AM with his singing.”

He chuckles, and he stills as you look into his eyes, your voice clear and strong.

“I don’t… I don’t regret any of it. I don’t regret meeting you.”

His hands are still cupped on your face, his face mere inches from your own. Your confession hangs in the air as you two look at each other, and he leans closer, pressing his forehead to yours.

Your breathing hitches, but not because you’re stuck.

He opens his mouth to reply, but the elevator comes back to life, moving downwards again. It startles both of you into jumping away from each other, and you clear your throat.

“Where are- where are you going?” You ask, gesturing towards his helmet.

“Oh, uh Cassian forgot his lunch and doesn’t have time to grab anything between clients. I was going to bring him something.”

The air is lighter between you two, and Azriel feels like he can breathe you in again. The fog of confusion has lifted between you two, leaving you to be seen clearly by him.

“Do you want to get lunch?”

He echos your previous text message to him, and you nod.

“Yeah I’d love that.”

You stroll through the lobby, putting as much distance between the falter elevator and yourselves. Once you make it to the parking lot, Azriel places his spare helmet on your head, tapping the top of it lightly affectionately.

You zip your jacket up as Azriel gets on the bike first, his thighs straddling the seat. He holds the bike steady, allowing you to place your hands on his shoulders for balance, letting go of your fears as you swing your leg around to straddle the bike behind him. Your body leans against his, wrapping around him, holding onto him.

You place your head on his back, your fingers clutching onto his jacket. It feels new, electricity crackling through every inch of you that is in contact with him, despite the layers and helmets that separate you.

He chuckles at the gasp you let out when you two start moving, how your hands hold onto his jacket a little tighter than before.

He pulls a hand away to place it gently on one of the hands you have clutched to his jacket, squeezing three times before moving his hand back.

[neverendinglabyrinth]

Analyzing 35 Portland Row:

Back at it with my set decoration posts, but lets overanalyze 35 Portland Row, shall we?

I love the way most of the house seems untouched, like it was frozen in time. Presumably, Lockwood never really "redesigned" the home from its original state, maybe a couple of changes here and there (which are more noticeable as we move on to other rooms) I say this, because of the contrast between pristine and messy in the areas.

The entryway:

I assume that the perspective pictures were taken as a way to assess how the set was going to look, in perspective 1 you can see the pillows on the bench missing, and in perspective 2 the clothing rack/hanger are completely missing.

On screen, we see that contrast I was talking about, you can see the way the clothes are almost stacked on that clothing rack (we can see George's coat, for example) I regard this as the kids respecting the space, since it is Lockwood's house they, most likely, don't want to trash it with their personal mess (or maybe George is the one that sets the 'mess-boundaries' to lighten the cleaning work).

On the other side of the spectrum we see the neat decorations and respected vases (respected as in, not using them as holders or trash bins) and the well cleaned masks and antiques hanging on the wall.

The Living Room:

This room is the "look how professional and neat we are" room, it is (by far) the cleanest one of them all, here is where they receive people and it is evident that they don't use it much by themselves, I know this because of the alarming lack of books laying around. I promise you, in Portland Row there are books EVERYWHERE.

Proof:

(these are just from the first couple episodes)

The Library:

I would argue that this is the "let's talk" room of the house, because it's the place where all of the information is. This is the room with the most "Lockwood flare", plus it's the perfect place for me to talk more about the messiness contrast.

In the scene where Lucy goes to talk to Lockwood, she has an apple core in her hand and this madwoman sets it ON THE TABLE (outrageous) but she looks for a spot where she wont ruin the table OR the books beside it. THE SELECTIVE MESS, PEOPLE! And Lockwood doesn't care, he just smiles, thankful.

Also there's a piano on the corner. (Hey! Locky, play Piano Man!)

The Kitchen:

Lockwood & Co's kitchen my beloved <3

By far my favorite room of the house, it is so cozy! From the spice rack, to the pot holders, to the kitchen utensils, the DETAILS. I'm in love, I love it.

And of course, the thinking cloth. The kitchen is the heart of Portland Row 35. And the crumbs on the table mean the world to me. LIKE DO YOU GET IT? DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE SIMBOLYSM OF CRUMBS ON THE TABLE?

I love kitchens, and I love set decor. That's all I have to say.

The Rooms:

Last sections of me nerding out about set decor, I promise!

Lockwood's Room:

It's safe to assume that Lockwood doesn't spend much time in his room, so it stays mostly neat. Probably only in use when he's sleeping or getting changed, and most of his time is spent in the library or in the kitchen with the others.

Lucy's Room:

Okay, this room is a set decor work of art. Why? Well, because it is a prime example of a characters personality shining through in a new space.

Not only does it show what it was before (a storage attic) but it also shows what it is now (a personal room) AT THE SAME TIME! You can see the way Lucy organizes everything contrasted with the way it was laid out before.

(look at the shopping bags she was carrying when talking to Kipps beside the bed, CONTINUITY!)

George's Room:

One thing about George is that he is way too excited about The Problem to care about actually cleaning and organizing his own room.

I think that his room is a physical representation of how his brain works. Books on the floor, papers stacked over anything, post it notes on the wall. You can just see the way his brain jumps from one thought to the other by the way his room is laid out!

The set decorator credits: JUDE FARR

So that's it! Im sure i missed a couple of things so if you want to add your observations, please do! And if i made any mistakes or incorrect assumptions I apologize, i am by no means and expert, I just like the subject.

[isagrimorie]

I won't even be so 'meh' about Emily with Andrew Mendoza -- if they at least have chemistry. And, if Emily didn’t looked like she was going to run whenever he talked about commitment or meeting his daughter.

I want Emily to be happy, but Andrew's steadiness seems to also cause Emily's running instincts to manifest.

In Evolution, they broke up and I was not surprised at all.

The pandemic must have also been the cause of their break-up, and I wouldn't be surprised if Emily was the one who brought up separating.

They are living in different states and I don't think Emily's leaving her job soon, especially since she was on a shortlist for the (a deputy) director position when the OG show ended.

---

Also looking at the BTS of season 17:

They actually have lights. Then it must mean the way the show is so dark and hard to see is because of how Evolution is edited color-graded and then compressed.

Watching season 15 and pinging back to season 16 and 17 -- I love that I can see but the season felt weirdly artificial? It looked too clean.

I love that seasons 16 and 17 looked a little less clean. More grounded and the team is a little more messy personally.

I love that it took Rossi episodes to return wearing a suit. I love JJ continuing to look badass and cool but also she wears home clothes when at home. I love Tara's look in the first two episodes, not quite as put together.

We first saw Alvez in Evolution in Emily's former office-turned-gym.

Emily is better styled than seasons 14 and 15 and Emily is a lot more relaxed and comfortable in taking up space.

This is such a casual thing but Emily just sitting on the boxes and watching Penelope and Luke bicker and she's done with their back and forth.

Let's be honest, this would have gone on far too long in the last seasons of the OG show.

Also, much as I love found family the team was far too... kumbaya that watching them I wanted someone to pull a Ron Swanson on them.

This makes Evolution work well for me because it's clear they love each other but also, there's more of a better line between professionalism and personal relationships.

And I can tell that the team loves each other but also, occasionally get on each other's nerves, which feels real.

I really love this shot of the scene where the team delivers a profile, and it's shot in an interesting way.

Section/Unit Chief isn't involved in delivering the Profile, she's in the background watching the team do their job and she is just leaning against her door, hands in her pocket, and looks IMO casually powerful.

And then several episodes down the line we have Emily and the Attorney General interacting.

I know there were some haters for the bureaucracy storyline in Evolution -- I loved it, especially when it's Prentiss playing defense.

Also, did anyone clock how fast Prentiss picks up and notices things in Evolution?

She knew with one glance the AG shutdown their case.

Emily slumping slightly towards the doorjamb -- chef's kiss-- its such a casual thing but it made the scene feel a lot more real.

Emily justifying the BAU's focus on the Sicarious network to the AG is one of my favorite things in Evolution.

Other than a few scenes and the comically villainous Barnes, I missed the kind of hardball and brass tacks, day-to-day thing Emily has to do to keep her team as a team within the Violent Crimes division.

I love when the higher-ups put the team, especially Emily's feet to the fire just as much as I enjoy whenever Emily decides to do some maverick stuff.

Like... blackmail Phil Coulson the Director of the FBI so she could help Jade and Peter Bailey.

[bagheerita]

finally finished DS9 and decided to post some thoughts in one big blob

I was honestly about to give up on season 7 and put the rest of this show to the side for a few months, but then Ezri and Worf have a 3 episode arc sorting out their relationship, only talking to each other because they're marooned/imprisoned, and I was so charmed by them being loud and messy that I managed to bull my way through to the end. I love the two of them as friends, they are adorable. 

I actually really like Damar and his arc, and it’s pretty rare I say that about a character who killed my favorite. 

I feel like the reason Section 31 exists, and they keep forcing episodes about it upon me, is because they wrote themselves into a corner with inventing the changeling disease to kneecap an unbeatable enemy and didn’t know how else to fix it/end the war except with secret secret spies. 

Ezri has this whole speech she gives to Worf about dismantling structures of power and I feel like they needed to end the show before anyone was like, hey the Federation kind of sucks and we should definitely do that. 

Garak’s mom showed up and everything was good in the world again.

Ezri and Julian are like “can’t deny the chemistry.” lol babes that's called being a young attractive allosexual. "Chemistry" is what Worf and O'Brien have in all the scenes where they're mocking you.

I’ve never felt the truth of the phrase “I support women’s wrongs” so intensely as I do with Kai Winn. I love her and I want to give her everything. I didn't love her getting assaulted by Dukat, but when she knows everything that's happening and chooses the pah-wraiths anyway, yes fuck it up. When she poisoned Dukat I was like, hot damn if this character dies as a footnote in someone else's quest for power I will forgive everything that this show has put me through because of him. But we can't have nice things. I did like that her last act was to choose to take their victory from them, and give Sisko the clue he needed to beat them.

I do love Martok but I feel like he’s going to be about as good a chancellor as Robert Baratheon was a king. 

Odo is The Last Unicorn, but with brain-melding: he’s going to share his experience of loving a mortal with the other immortals. I still don’t “get” him and Kira as a couple, their relationship literally went from -20 to 100% after a single all night conversation locked in Jadzia's bathroom and no actual onscreen development, but at least I believe that they believe they’re in love. 

Why the ever loving fuck is Julian so obsessed with the Alamo. Every time they bring it up I want to grab him and Miles and shake them. I get that it's supposed to be some sort of metaphor for fighting a hopeless war, but really? You want to go up to the fake room where you can do/be literally anything and you're going to repeatedly reenact a battle where you die to defend your right to have slaves and practice settler colonialism??? Even in the last episode they’ve won the real war and they’re still obsessed with reenacting this old battle. They also spend that one episode trying to figure out how to win the Alamo… babes, that actually happened: it’s called the Battle of San Jacinto- learn some actual fucking history, your side won the war. This isn’t about metaphors anymore, the metaphor has failed, now Julian just has a neurosis.

The Dominion War plot line goes on for way too long and there is so little internal emotional catharsis. (Maybe because for me the things that were supposed to be cathartic just induced more rage? 🤔) The ending was fine as far as character wrap ups but felt pretty rushed considering how long it took us to get to this point, and I really think they needed more time to handle the denouement. The overall pacing of the episodes/seasons is terrible: you wasted like a season and a half puttering around, with whole episodes where you forgot to mention the war; you added in mirror-verse episodes without bothering to use them for story or character development; Quark is one of my favorite characters but there are too many episodes about Ferengi shenanigans that do not impact the actual plot; there are whole scenes and arcs dedicated to a character who does not (within the internal logic of the show) exist. And then you slammed all the development into the last half of the last season. I'm not surprised now that I forgot this entire show after watching it while airing because it’s emotionally exhausting. I've compared DS9 to SGA in the past, but the Dominion remind me of the Ori: You've killed the enjoyment I found in this show and have made it a chore to watch.

I do like that what ends the war is Julian’s determination and Odo’s compassion. You've proven the Founders wrong, but this entire plot thread was so poorly handled that I don't know that anyone remembers one mention from four seasons ago about why this war even started and, honestly, standing on a planet where you just murdered millions of children it's kind of not enough. I like that they let Garak kill the last Weyoun, and I adore the scene where he lets Kira take the phaser, but honestly he deserved more. It wouldn't solve anything, and I think there's a nice parallel in Garak's fears inspiring him into attempting genocide being incredible grounded in reality and the Founder's similar fears being negated, but he deserves it, the head Founder deserves to be torn into tiny pieces by grieving Cardassians, and I deserve to watch it. (I also desperately want Garak to find out about Section 31 and the changeling disease just so he can be like, "Oh so when I try to commit genocide I get 6 months in jail, but when the Federation wants to commit genocide that's okay?")

I don’t know who on the production team is so invested in Mark Alaimo getting a paycheck, but by the end Dukat as a character has long outlived any interesting qualities he may have had at one point. The final battle shit with the pah-wraiths was pretty underwhelming; except for the deeper exploration of Winn's motives that this season has allowed for, "The Reckoning" was such a better structured episode. (At least at this point they've let Kira go off and be awesome without being forced into episodes with Dukat. The sheer amount of abusive old men sexually attracted to much younger women in this show is frankly unnecessary; I will never be able to unhear Curzon say he flunked Jadzia from the symbiont program because he wanted to bang her, and Dukat’s relentless pursuit of Kira especially/even after we learn he sexually assaulted her mother is disgusting.) 

I have mixed feelings about Sisko, and his character having a “white savior” role with the Bajorans. Like, I guess it’s a cool twist that he’s a black white savior, maybe that's the best the 90s can do, but also can we decide to not write stories where we give foreigners positions of power over recently subjugated peoples??  I was feeling pretty yikes about it especially after the beginning of this season and learning that he was basically genetically bred by the Prophets for the position, but… I dunno, I’m probably not someone who can or should have a deep opinion about this. I do like that arc for him as a character outside of what it means for the Bajorans, but his ending feels too open. I wish we got to know more about what he learns from hanging out with the Prophets, and I wish that the great "sorrow" he suffers from disregarding the visions felt more concrete. Kassidy is really the only one sad about this, Sisko seems excited to exist outside of time. (And I feel like a lot of the "yikes" of the character could have been fixed by making the character be Bajoran? You wouldn't need to invent a reason why he was chosen by the Prophets. He could even have been raised on Earth and still have those ties, and I think it would have made the pull between his duty as an officer and his duty as the Emissary more interesting. Also can you imagine if Jake and Ziyal were both half Bajoran and hanging out with each other??? But they don't pay me to write shows.)

Why do Miles and Julian have the gayest final montage? It's literally the first of the montages and they start it up over "The Way You Look Tonight" and I was just like... wtf did I accidentally put in a fan video? Miles is the only person in a relationship who has a montage without any mention of their significant other, though I guess Worf's does jump from his first meeting with Sisko straight to season 5 clips so they didn't mention Jadzia either. I love that Miles and Julian have such a deep friendship, and I feel like this show could use more interrogation of the concept of love and the fact that platonic love/friendship is just as important as romantic love, but the production has spent so much time "no homo"ing every relationship they can think of that it just comes off as bizarre. 

All the bts things I’ve read about this show pretty much amount to the production being like “we had no idea what we were doing with this character” which, when combined with the failure to manage season structure and some of the utterly bonkers episodes this show threw out there, leads me to believe that pretty much anything I enjoyed about this show comes from the actors. This is definitely a show I feel like I’m going to be “rewatching” through fanfiction and gif sets before I ever rewatch the entire show again. 

[shitpostingkats]

Since I think you have met most of the Ignis now- what's your thoughts on them so far? They are like one of my favorite things in Vrains so I wanna hear your thoughts :DDD

BOY ARE YOU IN LUCK BECAUSE I HAVE MANY MANY THINGS TO SAY ABOUT THEM! :D

For anyone who isn't op, these rambles will include SPOILERS up to the end of season two of yugioh vrains. If ye wish to not know, scroll past quickly.

Okay SO:

Ai- Little little guy. I freaking love him so much. Yugioh has pretty consistently done a Dark =/= Bad and Light =/= Good, (more on that later) and Ai is such a freaking good entry into that. Ai is the dark ignis and he's the most human of them all, messy and lazy and silly. And he's like the only one of them who has ANY non-cyberse, non-Lost Incident life experience like!!!! Of course he talks like a comments section! Of course he has free will and self awareness and the first thing he did to prove this was "exerting his free will" by rolling his eye(s)! And OH MY GOD him and Yusaku. The relationship each ignis has with their lost child is SO important to me. Ai and Yusaku are, on the surface, the most different, but where they agree is their sense of surety and their sense of freedom. Ai and Yusaku have the exact same confidence in themselves. In Yusaku, it's the self confidence of knowing he's done everything he can and is smart enough to be prepared for anything. When Ai tells him "just get lucky!" and Yusaku goes "No, I'm not going to get lucky, but I'm going to win anyway." And that's SO fascinating because Ai has that same self confidence, but essentially learned it from Yusaku, that survival response of 'I am good enough that this will work'. Yusaku taught Ai everything about asserting yourself, and it's buried beneath layers and layer of different experiences, but fundamentally they're the same, the same trauma of 'I will be better. I will be enough by myself, because I am in this alone.' and then they find they are both strong but they're stronger together and it makes me want to BITE SOMETHING.

(Readmore because this got long whoops)

Flame- Why is he britsh??? Theo isn't british. He was not made in britain nor was anyone on the project british. I can only assume he purposefully chose that accent to make himself sound smarter. I love him for it. Flame and Theo are tied up in a lot of headcanon for me, most specifically I think Theo is the lost kid who lost the most (barring Spectre, who sometimes lost on purpose) before getting the hang of the game. Thus, his whole rising from the ashes motif. Teddy and Flame are the survival response of spitting out a tooth and getting back up again. They lived through the incident by refusing to stay down, and yet somehow they came out of it as a friendly jock and a silly little nerd guy. The obvious care they have for each other absolutely sends me. Flame's argument against the war is literally "We can coexist with humans. I am coexisting with a human right now, and you cannot stop me." When his home was destroyed the first thing he did was seek out Theodore. I AM GOING INSANE. And of course Theo dropped everything and moved across the country just to help someone he really didn't know before that day ARE YOU KIDDING ME. They are involved in this entire story because they cannot comprehend not helping eachother. Also, again, jock and nerdy solidarity but the dorky guy with the glasses is the jock and the literal being of fire is the nerd.

Lightning- ALSO INSANE ABOUT HIM. JUST IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING. Okay so like I said I have only recently finished season 2 and haven't started on 3 yet so we haven't had a whole lot of screentime with Jin so I can only guess on how they impact and inform each other but. OH MAN. I mean, I feel like I have to take a whole section just to talk about his PERFORMANCE. His english voice acting is phenomenal, just the right amount of utterly sinister, tempered with this no-nonsense confidence that feels perfect for his grand speeches of logical thinking. Lightning is terrifying, easily one if not the stand out villain performance in all of yugioh for me. You don't side with him, but the audience can see exactly how he gets from Point A to Point B, and that clarity of reason makes him both easily understandable and terrifying. And his visual aesthetics. Blinding light, scorching brilliance, the exact same electricity that the Lost Incident is so known for. Lighting shares a lot with his progenitor experiment, with both him and Revolver learn from Dr. Kogami's "The ends justify the means" approach. Really, Lightning and Revolver are the real opposed rivals here, except they're both the villain so neither one can narratively win. All they can do is ensure the other loses. And I said we haven't seen too much from Jin yet but that does not stop me from CONNECTING SOME THEMATIC DOTS. The complete and total shutdown of Jin compared to the detatched and pragmatic coldness of Lightning. Their survival instinct is disassociation. Shutting off the panicking part of the brain, and all its human responses, in favor of pure autopilot and a "Whatever It Takes" approach to ensure continued survival. Lightning rejects so much of where he cam from, but is so clearly the product of the Lost Incident, and more specifically, Jin. Of humanity. He's got this great line towards Ai where he berates him for basically screwing around in cyberspace for five years, while the rest of them were being actively targeted. Hunted. Surviving. Ai got new experiences, isn't defined as strongly by his trauma. But Lightning and Jin? Both of them completely froze their development, are still stuck in their survival instincts, and cannot move on from it. And I have a pet theory that may or may not see validation, that the Armatos Legios aren't really Lightning's. I mean, roman gladiator don't really tie into anything else about his aesthetics. No, I think no matter what he pretends, the Armatos are Jin's deck, and Lightning is still using them, after all these years.

Windy- Haha silly little fast talk guy who- THIS SIX INCH TALL LITTLE FELLA STRAIGHT UP KILLED HIS LOST KID. This little whirlygig canonically ended the life of his counterpart, something Lightning himself actually frowned upon. I think about this way too much. Windy isn't pragmatic, he isn't logical, he's the free spirited "fuck around" to Lightning's "find out". Windy does what he wants when he wants, and that's somehow equally as scary as Lightning's calculated cruelty. I am gutted we didn't get to meet or ever find out anything more about his human partner, and I'm pretty sure that's the whole point. There was a kid out there with his own struggles, his own problems, his own ways of dealing with the trauma of the Lost Incident, and we just. We will never get to meet him. Windy's kid is the first casualty in this war, and we never get to even learn his name. Also the ramifications of Windy being so cavalier about killing someone who is in some lights a version of himself, of the casual dehumanization Windy takes, not just to himself, but to his fellow Ignis. When threatening to kill Ai, Lightning had a "Well, it will kill 16% of our population, but it will ensure the safety of 84% of us." Windy has no such calculation. Windy doesn't bat an eye at his own death, or the death of another Ignis. And yet. And yet. And yet. When designing a servant for himself, Windy formed one out of a music note. A treble clef. The symbol for the start of a song. Does it mean something? Probably not. But I am freaking haunted by the idea that this wounded ai escaped a second attack on his world, and started rebuilding, not weapons, or schemes. But a new home, and one with music.

Aqua- You know, the ignis are one of the few artificial intelligences where it kinda makes sense that they have genders. Aqua is a girl because she learned from a girl. Her femininity is a gift, or a memorial. So is her kindness. Aqua is the only ignis who really internalized hope and compassion. She sees truth and she doesn't let it break her, she fights by encouraging choice, by asking for opportunity. Her refusing to tell Earth which way to feel in regards to the question of Humans vs. Ignis is such a poignant moment for me, that here is someone who understands better than anyone, what Lightning feels and how humans act, but rather than share her suspicions, she asks Earth to form his own opinion, not just listen to her as his only source. In general, I just like Earth and Aqua's dynamic so much. Two sweet protectors, two pacifists, represented by plant life and water??? Good good good visual motifs. That said, I definitely think Aqua is a character they could do a lot more with. All the other Ignis are just so weird, so charmingly strange in any conversation, that it feels a bit of a missed opportunity that Aqua seems completely "normal" and well adjusted. I also am saddened we haven't seen Miyu aside from in a coma or in flashbacks, because as I mentioned, I am utterly insane for the ignis/lost kids dynamics. But she got introduced pretty late in season two, so I'm holding out hope that we see more of Aqua (and maybe Miyu!) in season 3. Also, the crystal heart combo was some of my favorite gameplay story telling this season, hands down.

Earth- Pour one out for my guy. They really did that to him. As silly as Spectre's backstory is, it really gets me that he has this deeply unhealthy attachment to literally anyone who offers him a place to belong. And his Ignis is the protector, the caregiver. Earth, who can make flowers bloom with barely a thought, who's "socially awkward" but genuinely kind, comes from the child who just wanted attention and was at home in the forest. The freaking hardest gutpunch of the season for me was when Earth is being ripped apart, and we cut to Spectre, shedding a single tear, and he has no idea why. Also THAT'S A PLOTLINE THAT REALLY EXISTS IN YUGIOH. Earth's death is almost jump-scaringly brutal, from the same series that brought you such fun euphemisms for a character being killed as "sent to the shadow realm" and "retired retired". Yeah, no, here's a character being systematically unmade, then those leftover pieces shoved into one dude's brain. The dub could have downplayed it, but the sheer horror every character gives when Gore has his big reveal, really sells the brutality of Sol Tech towards these ai, and any living being that isn't contributing to their bottom dollar. Ryoken's cold deliverance to Ai and Flame about Earth's fate, even almost making light of the situation, had me 100% down to declare for the ignis because what the hell, you can't just do that. If Ai turns heel next season, I'm not saying I support him, but I get it. Earth's death feels like it rattles the whole narrative, in a way that forced me to be just as distraught and emotionally invested as the characters. That's good storytelling babey.

This got long, and this is barely scratching the surface on some of my thoughts for these silly little computer guys.

Needless to say, I enjoy them <3

[darishima]

BONESY BONESY HIII BONESY

remembwr when i said this

i am home now!!!! here is a pic of both shelves

its a little messy n not well lit.. shelves are a little disorganized too especially the bottom two but its fiine ! lucky star shelf i showed you before is third down on the left. im gonna take better pictures to post here and on mfc once my sega power figure comes in and i move my toga and midari sections around

basic explanation, starting from the top on the left shelf: -combination toga and midari section, with my full ohshc manga set in the back -jiro section, with all my mha manga -lucky star section <333 -misc section, largely demon slayer, w assorted manga -another misc section, kinda where i stuck my least favorite figures LMAO im sorry guys right shelf: -mostly one piece section, partially disgaea section -yamato shrine plus kakegurui section runoff -mainly my edward shrine plus funkos lined up along my tokyo ghoul + tg:re manga sets, but my NSO section is slowly growing. plus miku -hxh section! mostly meruem, komugi, and neferpitou- theyre my 3 favs. couple misc figures next to them too -red box on the right of the lowest shelf is where i stash all my weed LMFAO isnt it a genius spot.. nobody would ever look or suspect. im soo smart.. anyway rest of that is misc manga and its kinda cluttered just pretend you dont see that

speaking of midari and toga sections! here are closeups of both !

midari section is currently cramped and messy.. usually has kakegurui manga behind it (hence the empty spot) but hunter is borrowing the first few volumes rn so it looks sad and empty :( need to move the midari section to another shelf because it and the toga section next to it are getting too large to coexist on the same shelf anymore they need more room. and speaking of toga section

wonderful angel.. also getting crowded mostly because banpresto always makes giant ass bases which take up lots of space on shelves </3 take a hint from pop up parade bp your base game SUCKS.

also just now realizing how BADLY tumblr annihilates quality... pls click on the pictures nd zoom in i promiseee they are better quality than that pls..

here is my jiro section !

gets a whole shelf all to herself (except for the dabi figure.. who is my bookend). im on a quest to get every single (non-gk) figure of jiro EVER made and so far i am missing seven out of sixteen :( most of the rest are trading figures and funkos except for the bellfine scale figure which is hella expensive.. like $100+.. but she will be mine eventually. here are the ones im missing

top 3 are trading figures, middle is still on preorder i think so it cant be mine yet , jst need to track down the other two somewhere. on the bottom are two of the funkos which are easy to buy but i dont LIKE having funkos and i dont WANT them but because its jiro i have to buy them anyway :/ im just putting it off. i almost ordered the first one the other day but decided to wait for the price to go down a bit. middle one is a gamestop exclusive thats bundled with a t shirt and i could easily buy it rn at, yk, gamestop, but i dont want the t shirt so i gotta buy th funko individually off ebay. last pic on the bottom is the bellfine scale, found it for $90 on a site recently when it usually goes for $120/$130+ so hopefully it'll be mine soon!1 anywayy sorry 4 yapping.. just love jiro will collect all her figures 4ever. wish i could do that for toga but she has too many :( 62 compared to jiro's 16 :( anywayyy more shelfies

the midari section was formerly just the kakegurui section but i had to boot these 3 figures out cause they wouldnt fit:

mary nendoroid (which i got for a STEAL at $28 unopened, they usually go for like $70 or more), plus mary and yumeko pop up parades (they are holding hands). and next to them:

yamato section! my beautiful prince yamato! the angle of this one sucks.. wtv. the big figure between the manga is the most expensive figure i've bought so far at $45, not counting the kangel L pop up parade figure i preordered for like $64 (doesnt count cause i dont have it yet). and SPEAKING OF KANGEL...!

kangel pop up parade!!! i got her yesterday!!! and the goodsmile bonus p-chan (the sad kitty)! put her in front of my nso manga + switch game, im so so happy i got her :3 and i'll be even happier when i get the kangel L figure, which is wayy bigger and imo prettier

anywayy hope you liked my yappings bonesy if you see them n read them.. ^_^ and also anyone else who saw this on their dash and checked it out,, sorry for clogging your dash :(

figures are my passion my love my light my one true joy.. would love to answer any questions u have about them ever. need to take more closeup pictures also bc its so hard to see details in that shitty ass full shelf pic i took.. will take better pictures another time <3 shldve taken a closeup of my hxh section its so good,, or my edward section,, oh well

[fifteenth-entity]

Arc Purgatory: The one (and only) major flaw of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies

-oh, hiii, just a note, this post is super uncleaned and kinda messy, you can see points where my ADHD patience wore off. sorry bout that, ill come up and clean later, for now, i gotta recharge-

I think I speak for most PotC enthusiasts when I say that the PotC trilogy (franchise? Wym theres more than three movies?) is one of the best written trilogies I’ve ever seen. Amazing choreography (they just don’t make swashbucklers like this anymore!!), amazing set and design, amazing writing, the comedy is peak, the world building is great shit, but by far, the best and most hooking part of the series is its characters!! You have the elusive trickster captain Jack Sparrow, you have the naive but headstrong and well-meaning Will Turner, the cunning and crafty Elizabeth Swann, and an array of amazing villains to boot! Barbossa and his excellent character arc, Davy Jones and his excellent character arc, the excellent dynamic between Commodore Norrington and Cutler Beckett and who being a villain when and why, the whole shtick. With how well the villains are written, it’s no surprise that a lot of them hold a spot in many fans’ top favorite characters - I’m no exception, Barbossa has always been a favorite of mine and upon a rewatch later on in life, Davy Jones is up there too. And while all of the characters are iconic, memorable and loveable (most times), Ive noticed a sort of… pattern in who places at the top of people’s favorite characters. Namely, I’ve seen the villains and Jack Sparrow. I’ve never seen Will or Elizabeth be explicitly placed high up, or higher than the villains/Jack  Sparrow. And even when I see Jack Sparrow be high up, I always see him be high up because he’s “iconic”, while I’ve seen the villains be high up because they’re “compelling”. That discrepancy really meant nothing to me when I rewatched the first two movies; they were, after all, an incomplete story. The third movie would bring it all together and cement these characters as excellent. Right? … Well… wrong. Now, before I go on, what I said before still stands. The trilogy is still impeccable in all the ways I’ve listed above. Great characters, plot, world building, choreography, score, cinematography… but there is only one area it falls short on: character development. But the peculiar thing is that it falls short only sometimes. So I wanna examine where it doesn’t fall short, where it does, and why I think so.

As previously stated, the character development falls short only sometimes. Where it absolutely doesn’t fall short is with the villains. For at least the first three movies (cuz i have not and refuse to rewatch 4 and 5), the villains have excellent, fully rounded character arcs, with memorable story beats. Barbossa going from bloodthristy merciless captain of the black pearl to hesitant co-captain of the black pearl, leaving behind his lonesome ways and instead choosing to make alliances if not for his own benefit. Davy Jones going from a terrifying force of power to blah blah blah, we've watched the movies, we remember what happens, we all get the gist. The villains have complete character arcs, they develop from one thing to another, either by way of actually becoming a decently better person and improving in some of their qualities, or by digging in their heels and dying as a consequence (or in Norrington’s case, becoming a better person but dying anyway because his narrative foil is cutler beckett and hell hath no fury like an 18th century british twink in a position of power). Even the side characters which are related to them have fully fleshed out character arcs of their own to complement them, namely Tia Dalma, who develops from a mysterious bogwitch to a lovestruck goddess. From this section, I want you readers to remember that the people who insofar have complete character arcs are the villains, who mostly switch up every movie. Now let’s talk about the lame ducks, shall we?

A few characters dont get any character development; namely, the side characters whose name you don’t really remember, or cannon fodder (i am counting Sao Feng as cannon fodder, I take no further questions at this time). However, there’s three other characters in the series that don’t get compelling character development and that’s the three protagonists. I’m gonna start with Will and Elizabeth; both of them do develop in a sense! They become more mature and more tolerant of piracy as they learn about the fallacies of the state. They are forced to mature rapidly thanks to their turbulent circumstances, namely as only-dubiously-pirates and only-dubiously-free and legally pronounced enemies of state unless cutler beckett decides otherwise. Thats a lot of Circumstance. No matter who you are as a person, that forces you to grow in one way or another. But let’s not forget that becoming pirate king and abandoning high society/abandoning citizenship and becoming an undead pirate are only half of Elizabeth and Will’s character arcs. Why do they get into this entire mess in the first place? Well, love! They love each other so much that they’d literally uproot their safety to be together, and the only thing keeping them apart is Circumstances™ . Naturally, this then means that their character arc would involve them triumphantly overcoming the circumstances and finally being together, either by abandoning pirate life or pilfering together as captains! Or alternatively, they discover it was never meant to be either by way of death or by departing tearfully. Yeah, neither happens. Instead they leave off movie 3 right back at square one; pining and yearning from a distance. But instead of the distance being lord vs peasant dynamics, it’s a time gap of 10 years. How is this any different from what the problem was 2 movies ago? This is their wrap up? Same circumstance with a different name and an outfit change? At best, this is incomplete. I can’t even count it as full circle if I wanted to; normally, here would be the beginning of a spin off or something, because this development is something penultimate. A darkest hour at best. Not a climax, and definitely not a conclusion; again, it is incomplete. And, sadly, the same can be said about Jack Sparrow. The movie goes out of its way to point out where Jack is flawed: he fears death so much that he refuses to see the pain and drawbacks of immortality, which leads him to do all his tomfoolery. Which is great character motivation! But it never changes. He is constantly afraid of his own mortality, so he will constantly hold himself back from going guns blasing, and it will always lead to him chasing the promise of immortality. Even when he sees what that does to Barbossa and Davy Jones, he digs his heels in and goes “la la la”. even when the plot of one of the movies was that he died. He died and came back to life. At this point, he has gone face to face with his greatest fear and come back a victor. But by the end of the movie, whatever happens, happens because he is still mortally afraid of death. Even after he comes back to life, people point out that all he wants is to be immortal, and he affirms that. So like… did the death… not happen? Because even if this is happening because Jack refuses to process it, then that gives us new motivation. And that’s not the only way for Jack to continue his adventures; one alternative could be that Jack, after conquering death, instead turns to life to see how he can maximize his limited fun, and starts pilfering and pirating to the nth degree, purely because of zero inhibitions. But instead like with Will and Elizabeth, with him, we are right back to square one.

So… why is this happening? Why are we having these fake character arcs for the protagonists? In most media and most cases, the answer is “because the writers suck” in one variety or another. Time constraints, budget constraints, bad writers, the works. But I firmly believe this is happening not because of the writers, but because of one mouse that keeps ruining everyone's fun.

(if i could add sound bytes, i would, but please imagine the intro song jingle thing of disney playing here)

Obviously we all know Disney; they want to milk their cash cows until the bitter end, which means that in order for that to happen, they need to keep an avenue open for Will and Elizabeth’s story in case they need to milk that for an extra buck, and obviously, Jack needs more motivation to keep doing his silliness. Now, as stated above, there are multiple ways for that to happen without keeping the same motivations that kept us going for 3 movies, but it has been proven time and time again that Disney will take the easy way out instead of the interesting (and potentially more costly) way out. Now, I refuse to watch star wars, so I cannot validate this point by myself, but according to a friend (thank you for your service @greetings-humans), when “somehow palpatine returned”, the franchise was owned by disney. Star wars fans, and even people with a brain, recognize how much of a cop out this is, and having seen the above cop outs happen in PotC, i am now firmly of the belief that the protags of PotC dont have character arcs because Disney believes this is the cheapest way of keeping the franchise going. This, btw, delightfully, ended up making disney shoot themselves in the foot; not only were movies 4 and 5 poorly received, but because of the way they were written, it wouldn’t make sense for any of the protagonists to suddenly have a change of motives and resume character development, which would be especially detrimental since we are talking about the PotC franchise; famously adored for its writing. They could mask the cash cow before, but now they cannot. So it’s no surprise that instead of continuing a story that is continuously shooting itself in the foot thanks to Disney’s executive decision to take the easy way out of creating a continuous cash cow, the 6th movie is rumored to be a remake of the first one.

But yeah, this is pretty much my analysis. I dont have much more to say. The key take away here is: write your own fanfics of the ending, or engage with the series however you like. I think if the series had different producers and was just left at a trilogy, then it would’ve been perfect. I don’t really have much more to say here;; this is pretty much it. I’m just glad that PotC’s one major flaw wasn’t due to incompetence and was due to the mouse being the mouse.

[orkowhereheshouldntbe]

orkowhereheshouldntbe has now been active for two years!!

As previously stated, after today I will no longer be doing daily orkoposts. But I want to celebrate everything I've done so far!

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orkowhereheshouldntbe's top five posts of all time!!

These are based purely on notes, not my own opinion on them.

5. Orko in Howl's Moving Castle - 45 notes

This post is a great example of one of my favorite types of posts to make on this blog - a "Where's Orko?" type of post. I honestly wish I'd made more. I think images like this are perfect for that sort of post, because they're so messy and cluttered so there's plenty of things to hide Orko behind. (Maybe one of these days I'll do an Orko I-Spy post?)

4. Orko in Way of the House Husband - 53 notes

I remember how hard I worked on that Orko apron, and I'm glad it paid off. I don't think it's my finest work ever, but it gets the job done.

3. Orko in a blender - 66 notes

This post got a lot of attention because of how silly it was, and how many people wanted to blend Orko. To be honest, I'm not sure what I would have done if the poll results had said to blend him, so I'm glad sparing him won out by 13.6%.

2. New Years' 2023 Orko - 79 notes

I'm not too mad about this one tbh. It's a celebration post! Orko's expression here is perfect for that sort of thing.

1 . Orko at the Kroger Cheese section! - 148 notes

This is by far the most popular post on this entire blog. I'm not entirely sure why. Do people love cheese that much? Did someone with a lot of orko/cheese-loving followers reblog this post? Does the Kroger Cheese section just resonate with that many people? I'm not sure, but it's definitely the funniest post to be number one on this blog.

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I'm sure there are some who'd like to know what my favorite posts I've made on this blog are, but I really couldn't tell you. I've made so many, and so many have good memories, whether from the concept alone or how well they turned out or just how much fun I had making them. So instead, I've put together a video showing every orkopost I've ever made on this blog, so we can reminisce on them all together!

Thank you all for everything. I know this all sounds like "goodbye" more than I meant to, but I wanted to give things a proper send-off. I hope you've enjoyed everything I've put on this blog, and I hope to have more to bring you in the future!

[thatonebirdwrites]

Oh, this chapter was a beast. I'm starting to get the hang of writing Andrea though. Sprinkling in her heritage helped a lot actually, and made it a bit more fun. Plus I went down the rabbit hole of increasingly bizarre Argentinian slang. That was a ton of fun. This chapter is very heavy on Rojarias. It implies supercorp though.

EXCERPT:

Sam hated being away from Ruby. Three days in hiding. Three days where she dealt with snipers. Three days where keeping Andrea alive was proving to be far more messy than expected. 

Two and a half days since Lena, Kara, and Nia vanished off the their radar. No reply to texts, phone calls failed to go through, and not even Brainy with his high tech could pinpoint their signals. 

Tomorrow Sam had to go into the office for a crucial meeting, which meant Andrea would have to come with her. She couldn’t leave the woman alone in Lena’s loft. Sure, Lena might trust Sam, but she knew Lena did not trust Andrea. Her permission only extended as long as Sam was with Andrea. That much Sam knew from Lena’s subtext. 

At the moment, she wanted to just plan tomorrow and call her daughter. That required Andrea to cooperate with her. After three days together, Andrea had fluctuated between flirting, not speaking at all, or tossing out insults like candy. Sam had wondered if Andrea viewed pushing her to get a reaction as a game, but then last night had happened. That altered Sam's interpretation of Andrea's prickly and sometimes flirtatious behavior significantly. 

***

"If I don't do something, I'll lose my mind with worry," Sam muttered. It was late evening, the sun had long set, and Sam was still unable to figure out a solution to Andrea's situation. She turned on the TV but watching something felt too aggravating. What she really needed was to release her energy, so she pulled out Lena's box of consoles instead. "Not being able to help is maddening."

Her call with her daughter had helped only marginally, but not being able to hug Ruby and give her a forehead kiss goodnight? Or sending a goodnight text to Lena to remind her to cuddle her beefcake? Sam missed them, and her worry especially for Lena, Kara, and Nia had her wishing she could figure out flying. She'd race to Ireland and search for them if it could help, but that wasn't possible. So distractions it was.

"Distractions is a tactic, no? Do you play much video games?" Andrea sat down on the sofa and picked up one of the controllers from the box under the table, where most of the video game and board games were kept.

"Yeah, with Ruby. You play?" Sam gestured to the big screen TV with her controller. She pulled up the menu for the game, but moved her joystick back and forth between single player and multi.

"Si." Andrea smirked at Sam's startled look. "I am not so uncultured, Sam. One of the programs at Obsidian is a virtual world where players can do anything. I work mostly in the business section of my father's company, but I also organize the public beta testing events. Though virtual reality is un poco," Andrea held up her finger and thumb to show a tiny sliver of gap between them, "more complex than this." She held up the controller. "This is - quaint."

"Huh. What a roaring review. I'll be sure to let Ruby know you called one of her favorites quaint." Sam grinned and lightly pushed her shoulder against Andrea's. This startled the woman, who looked at Sam with slightly narrowed eyes.

"I formally challenge you then," Andrea said with perfect, British diction. A massive difference from the lilt of her Spanish accent.

Sam wasn't the best with accents, but she figured she'd give it a try in the spirit of the game. "I formally accept your challenge."

Andrea laughed. "You call that an accent? The frog croaks better."

"Oh, shut up and play," Sam growled. She flicked to multiplayer and entered the character screen. They'd played well into the night, where Andrea turned out to be a relatively decent gamer. Sam had ordered pizza, checked it for poisons - couldn't be too careful, and did her best to try not to think about the fact she desperately missed her daughter, and was incredibly worried for her missing friends. Andrea seemed to sense this as her insults were at a minimum, which was a rarity.

Read the whole series here.

[arminsumi]

Hi Jay! Can I ask for headcanons for Eren with s/o who is studying art history? And his s/o is like smart and interested in literature and philosophy and Eren is feeling a bit insecure because he think he's not enough for his partner and they deserve someone better

Alsoo I just want to say I looove your writing! ☺️

Hi sweetie! Ty for the kind words it means a great deal to me!

P.s. so sorry it took me a while to get around to this req, my drafts section has gotten very messy! So many unfinished stories... ( 〃▽〃)

Hcs / E. Jaeger

Just thinking about how Eren asks his dad about the literature you're talking about, so he can clue himself up on it, and how he just nods quietly when you go on your 1 am philosophy rambles.

Cws; fluff, pre-est relationship (dating)

Notes on y/n; gn!

Notes on this au; college! au

Definitely gushes to his parents about you! Practically has stars in his eyes when your name is on his lips

Embarrassedly asks his dad about the literature you're reading, since he's clued up on it

Loves going to art museums with you, even though his eyes are on you rather than the works of art. Also holds your hand when you stop to look at things

A good listener! One of his favorite things is to just sit there and listen to you enthuse about what you're learning, it makes his chest flutter

Feels the most insecure when he can't respond with anything valuable, especially when you're philosophizing

Sometimes he'll nod and have this far-away look, if you ask him if he's okay he'll start blushing

He seems to recede into this imaginary shell when he sees Armin fluidly debating with you about philosophy

Goes without saying, but he proudly gushes about you to armin with bright eyes

Eren has these curious eyes, sometimes they light up when you mention something specific, like renaissance-period art or sculpture art

And he really likes sculpture art! If he sees it at an art museum he'll be completely captivated

Sometimes when he feels overwhelmingly insecure about his lacking knowledge or inadequacy, he'll let out this very dramatic sigh

You might catch him looking at you with this dreamy gaze, he won't admit it but he's admiring how smart you are

Complains to Armin about feeling inadequate a lot, and requires a lot of pep talks

Sometimes he'll bluntly tell you that he has no idea what you're talking about, "I don't know what you just said, but it sounded nice."

Adores your 1 am philosophical rambles, whether it's over text or on a phone call, or face-to-face, he gets really invested

He will teach you to play guitar in return for you teaching him all about what you're learning!

Complains to Armin about feeling inadequate a lot, and requires a lot of pep talks

Sometimes he'll bluntly tell you that he has no idea what you're talking about, "I don't know what you just said, but it sounded nice."

Adores your 1 am philosophical rambles, whether it's over text or on a phone call, or face-to-face, he gets really invested

He will teach you to play guitar in return for you teaching him all about what you're learning!

[moonmanatee]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

sweet @saintgarbanzo tagged me even though he knows I’ve got but the one lil fic! then it got lost in my drafts. this might be a bit silly but cool to see where I’m starting, maybe. thank you, chickpea! you can find his lovely answers here 🥰

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

just one: Sun Shower!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

5950

3. What fandoms do you write for?

so far just HP, but I’ve got some drafts of other stuff (some SOC, AML, etc) that I may or may not keep working on. I did just cannibalize my favorite line from a wesper wip for a drarry one sooo we shall see

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

haha! sun shower

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do - commenting is probably my most favorite part of being a fic reader, so the comments section is important to me. there’s so much to love out there, and the comments are my favorite place to express it

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

none! don’t think I’m angst guy, really. I have some wips with pining, with complicated family feelings, with hurt, but it doesn’t quite feel like angst. and certainly won’t end that way!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

well, surprise: sun shower has a pretty sweet ending. it feels like a beginning more than an ending, though.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven’t! does it count if my partner is like ‘noooo, abandoning me for the laptop again’

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

hmm, I think my smut is overwhelming and reverent and enthusiastic and honest and probably a little excessive. and WANT. and kinky. once I share some you’ll have to let me know if this is accurate

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

my mind is always thinking in connections, but that usually comes out in AU form (drarry: grace & frankie! parent trap!! the beckhams!! wesper princess diaries 2 AU!!!), rather than like everyone showing up in the same scene. so no, i guess.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

not yet, but I think I would really love this. I feel so much love about other people’s writing and so excited to share in ideas, so I feel like this format would be such a delight for me.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I don’t think I have one all-time, because once I love something I love it forever. so I just keep collecting more all-time favorites. but drarry I feel the most immense about and committed to, which is saying something because there’s very little I love that I don’t love immensely. and to be honest, my commitment to drarry is certainly because I love them as characters, but it is also about the community being so wonderful. so thank you, y’all, it’s really special here.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably never will?

so I had this completely bonkers idea that I call “avada banana tag” which is when someone dies everyone they avada-ed comes back to life, like banana tag. i.e. when Molly kills Bellatrix, we get Sirius back, etc (yes I know that only happens in the movie but bear with me for goofy concept reasons). like, the spell only holds as long as they do? makes it a pretty short-sighted way of killing someone. but that’s as far as the idea goes because it’s so absurd and messy, and I don’t think canon rewrites are something I’d know how to do justice. but I think it’s so funny and fascinating, so if anyone wants to run with it please feel free

16. What are your biggest writing strengths?

100% it’s coming up with ideas. you should see my idea dump document, it’s abundant in there. and maybe description, I hope, and sensory experiences

17. What are your biggest writing weaknesses?

I won’t call it a weakness but I have less experience with plotty things, and get really stuck in dialogue that feels off.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I’m not fluent enough in anything else that I think I could do this myself, but as a reader I really love it, both when I do and don’t understand what’s going on. and I like communicating that they’re speaking in another language without just translating. I think I’d love to incorporate my other languages (spanish and ASL) into fic, and I also love when Draco speaks french. when it’s well done I think it’s so impactful!

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I think it was actually someone else’s OCs, what feels like forever ago

20. What is your favorite fic you’ve written?

the one that’s still in my brain that I think about most days… it’s so very beautiful. I hope one day it makes it out of there!

though I love sun shower too. my first real guy, feels like a big deal, I’m proud of myself for doing it and actually sharing it!

I will tag @elskanellis, @getawayfox, @saintlupin, @rockingrobin69 if you want and haven’t already!!

[a-deadly-serenade]

nocturne review, ramblings

obvs spoilers for the show down below.

so, i'm gonna be real with y'all; i dont think i would have watched this if not for one of my mutuals spilling the beans about alucard making an appearance 💀 s4 was ok and a fine conclusion to the og castlevania that started this animated franchise, but i dont think i will ever get over the absolute fumble and frankly, insulting way they wrapped up s3. even s4 had its cringe moments, like lenore getting a peaceful sendoff and carmilla getting to kill herself. but, i digress. i was going into nocturne with an already negative mindset and that may have made me more critical of the show. can u blame me though? lmao

i had seen a few clips and screenshots on twitter when they dropped the first 3 eps early and... they only helped solidify my decision to remain skeptical of the staff's writing capabilities. shit was already a little hazy and wishy-washy with their portrayal of isaac in s2 and how they treated hector thruought the show (not to mention the two asian-coded characters in s3). let's just say, the netflix castlevania team doesnt have the greatest track record when it comes to writing poc characters. so, when i saw screengrabs just outright stating that this show was going to deal with historically accurate racism? hm.

obvs as a white woman, i can only go so far on this criticism of the writing, but i dont really understand why they needed to include this? the comparisons and allegory of freedom from indentured servitude to the french revolution, was very weak and bare bones at best. you can keep the motif of the church existing on exploitation and blood of the people-- a whole cross section of the world was involved in the crusades, which is the priests & his entourages whole deal--but, why couldnt annette just be a witch? why did this "historical accuracy" need to get involved with the time period? bcuz the french revolution was name dropped? your main villain is a hungarian countess from the 16th century that made a pact with an EGYPTIAN goddess to become all powerful. like.

and also..... why the FUCK are vampires getting involved with the intercontinental slave trade bro??? 😭 theyre immortal beings that have seen the rise and fall of empires and can do whatever tf they want and go wherever tf they want and they choose to..... own a plantation? give af abut the economy? with selling goods??? okkkkk. also, this line of dialogue is insane to me:

you cant have a central theme of your story be standing up against the oppressors and then make said oppressors fantastical monsters. what kills me is that they've delved into the monstrosity of humanity in s1 and s2, and yet, when you bring in one of the most monstrous things humanity has ever done in its history for the sake of historical accuracy, you turn the very perpetrators into something mythical, and evil that the common folk had no chance of ever defeating even if they tried. its just overall, very messy and they certainly were not the creative team to try and tackle something like this.

speaking of, the writing, again, it definitely left something to be desired. there are moments that are good, don't get me wrong. episode 6 is a particular favorite of mine, shining through with its wonderful character moments b/w annette's soul searching with her ancestors, richter and juste's heart to heart, and olrox's confessions to mizrak. tera's sacrifice to ensure maria's safety is also really well done, as well as maria's final confrontation with her father in the church. however, these were fewer and farther between than i would have liked. a lot of the scenes that played out just fine, were ultimately sullied by this series' incessant need to insert swearing into every other sentence. its something that bothered me nearing the end of s4 especially, and i've just grown tired of it. it honestly takes me out of the scene to constantly hear fuck thrown out every 2 seconds for literally... no reason. i promise y'all can write meaningful and impactful dialogue without having your characters swear lmao

the writing itself is what unfortunately makes the first half of the show kind of drag a bit. the story doesn't really know what it wants to do. none of these new characters are really given time to breathe and be really fleshed out, bcuz every time things settle down and we're given the chance to learn more about their motivations, its like they're almost scared they'll lose your attention and any down time is immediately followed up with an intense action sequence. which, dont get me wrong, if theres one thing they dont disappoint with--its the action. but, i dont think that was ever up for debate to begin with. however, i believe that the characters really suffer bcuz of this. if you've never played the games, which, i believe most people tuning in to watch these series never have, you would have no idea who maria or richter are, and, i really don't think they were given enough time to be fleshed out. half the time, richter's dialogue just ends up being naive, walmart trevor belmont sarcastic one-liners and poor maria ping-pongs b/w the blandest, generic, wonderbread toutings of 'revolution' or calling richter a dick, wanker, or anything in b/w. episode 6, one of the better episodes as mentioned previously, is where we really get to see some actual growth around richter especially. there were moments where his trauma could have been further explored earlier, but they kind of got shoved to the wayside in favor of dragging out the interworking bw all the villains. which.....

if i'm gonna talk about the villains. my initial thoughts were that nocturne was going to be a one-and-done, standalone series with its own self contained story that would be wrapped up in these 8 episodes. i was wrong. and i really dont know how they're going to keep this story going. erzsebet is already a very weak and uninteresting and, honestly, confusing ? villain? for more than half of the series, she's talked about as the mysterious and all powerful Messiah and theyre gathering all these sacrifices for her to bring her back and create an army of night creatures. why is she considered powerful? bcause she made a pact with Sekhmet, an egyptian goddess. why did she do this? who knows! why does she have such a devoted cult of loyal followers when she hasnt done anything but kill a lot of people? again, who knows. why did maria's father think that a VAMPIRE would keep him in cahoots during this whole plan and not immediately fuck him over once she got what she wanted...? who fucking knows. olrox is the most interesting of the villains but even he isnt fully explored. the motivations are just not really explained very well and the buildup to erzsebet's arrival was so sudden that i literally thought i missed an entire episode. one minute, shes hiding in the shadows and the next ? waltzing in on a golden chariot and being heralded as the people's savior?? so damn messy and honestly? i really could not have cared less about her. which is insane to say, bcuz shes literally based off of a real countess who's case and life were a special interest of mine. i just... why an EGYPTIAN goddess?? shes from HUNGARY. were there no goddesses in europe to pull from she could have made a pact with? idk man it just makes no damn sense.

i am definitely more than a little peeved that this wasn't even the complete story, bcuz they did such a poor job establishing erzsebet as a villain, that i really dont give af what crazy shit they come up with to extend the story. you show her being a big badass in the very last episode. ok, you as an audience member, are immediately shown why dracula is so feared within the first 10 minutes of the first episode. and all of that wasnt even HIM fighting!!! the worst thing i've seen miss countess bathory do over here is summon a crazy orb and turn into a furry. like, where is the story going to go from here? they fight tera? save edouard and have a night creature alliance? make maria or alucard (yes, i'll get to him) summon the portal again? which btw... machine from HELL? im not even gonna touch that can of worms. somehow bring olrox back to.....? help kill bathory? idfk

and man...... i was hoping against hope that when i found out alucard was going to make an appearance, that it was just going to be some neat little cameo at the v end of the series after the main story had concluded. a little nod, a little treat to the audience that the next series would be encompassing the events of symphony of the night. maybe we'd even get a depiction of maria and richter when theyre older, i dont know, anything but throwing him in there as an overpowered hail mary to save the day. we couldnt just let these new characters figure it out and triumph in their own way? we had to drag him into this, now? i cant even tell you how disappointed i was when i saw that sword pierce drolta. ME! the resident alucard fan since i was like mf elementary school!!! ugh.

i think this is it for me and netflix castlevania lmao im a grumpy old man and miss when it was mainly fun easter eggs to the games, like how they brought in juste or how olrox turns into a big green monster and has an attack that sends flying skulls your way, or the REMIX of RICHTER'S THEME!!! but its just gotten so silly and the writing hasnt gotten any better..... from now on, im going to simply stick to the games that made me fall in love with this series in the first place & let this be the last time i ever feel the need to bitch about new 'netflixvania' content.

[lilypadlys]

Love Is Blind

Summary: Dewdrop has trouble letting go and being vulnerable. Rain and Phantom help take care of him.

Notes: This one was inspired by my roomate/self declared smut dealer. She knows I write fanfic and even though she’s not a ghost fan she’s been giving me general ideas for fics. We were on a road trip together and talking about our favorite smut tropes. She was like, you should write something with a guy dressed up nice and fucking someone on a bed with black sheets. And they're tied up or something. Maybe the room is lit by candles. My brain immediately went to how pretty Dew would look in contrast to black sheets. By the end of the trip not only had I decided to add Rain but Phantom had also joined the mix. This was a fun one. Everyone say thank you to my roommate for making this happen.

--- Rain removes his hands and Dew can hear him step back. “Isn’t he a vision like this?” He hears Phantom hum an affirmative. Dew had forgotten that Phantom was also present. He blushes a little at the reminder that the new ghoul is there to see him so vulnerable, a state he really only allows Rain or Aether. The accompanying arousal is not unwelcome though. “Going to let us help you feel good?” Rain asks. “Please?” Dew whispers. “So polite.” Rain coos. “See Phantom, he can behave. It just takes a special touch.”

Ship: Dewdrop/Rain/Phantom

Word Count: 3,348

Rating: Explicit

Tags: fluff and smut, PWP, light bondage, blindfolds, light dom/sub, quintessence use, cum eating, multiple orgasms, aftercare, cuddles

Horny ghouls below the cut or on AO3

As a former water ghoul, one would think Dewdrop would be immune to the siren song that all water ghouls know the words too. Unfortunately for him, whether due to his severed connection to the element, or the sheer allure Rain possesses, Dew has found himself under his siren’s spell many a time. Tonight is no different.

The evening started out innocent enough. The ghouls gathered for a movie night. Aurora is fully living up to her princess nickname. She got to pick the movie and currently resides in the best spot in the common room, the center of the couch between her girls. Dew sits off to the side. He lays boredly against the wall, not really watching the movie. It's a cheesy rom-com and once you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. He's really not feeling it tonight but Aether asked him to at least make an appearance so Dew humors him.

Rather than paying attention, he shuffles restlessly, tail whipping in annoyance. He’s been here long enough. He’ll sneak out and go do maintenance on his guitars or something. He’s about to leave, already sitting up and stretching in preparation to stand. Then out of nowhere, Rain suddenly glues himself to Dew’s side.

Rain had been cuddling with Phantom all night thus far but now he presses himself into Dew. It’s instead Phantom that stands with a yawn and heads towards the door. He rounds the corner in the wrong direction to head to his room, Dew might have noted, if he wasn't distracted by the water ghoul.

“Geez Rain. You scare Bug off or something?” Dew snorts.

“Nah. He had to go do something. Can I braid your hair?”

“Uhh, sure?” Dew shrugs, feigning disinterest.

It wasn’t an uncommon request. Dew secretly loves it but he’d never admit it. Rain knows though and plays with his hair whenever he gets the chance. Permission granted, Rain curls up behind Dew and begins the task of untangling his rat’s nest. Dew seems lost on the concept when it comes to hair care or even just regular hair brushing. He’ll forever deny that he intentionally leaves it messy in an attempt to get Rain to play with it.

Fortunately Rain has the patience to slowly and carefully untangle knot after knot. By the time he can start freely running his fingers through his tresses, Dew is purring without fail. Rain takes his sweet time braiding. Painstakingly separating the sections so they're even, and then combing through the strands as he braids to make the plait as smooth as possible. Finally, he ties it off with a hair tie conjured from his pocket. He always has hair ties on hand for just this purpose.

When the braid is finished, Rain plops himself into Dew’s lap.

“What’s up with you? You’re clingy tonight.” Dew raises a brow, but his purring somehow gets deeper.

“I’m cold.” Rain pouts.

“There’s like five blankets within reach.”

“Yeah but you’re warmer.” Rain looks up at Dew, eyes big in puppy dog like pleading.

“Ugh fine.” Dew rolls his eyes but without any real bite.

Rain hums and starts to get comfortable. He sits with his back to Dew’s chest; the fire ghoul’s legs straddling his own hips. Over the course of a few minutes, Rain’s torso gradually slides down and in readjusting himself back up, his ass brushes against Dew’s crotch. Dew tenses and huffs out a breath. Rain shifts his hips again and Dew practically hisses.

“Raincloud.” Dew grumbles.

“What?” Rain looks at him with big innocent eyes.

“Stop moving.”

“I’m just getting comfy.” He humphs.

“Well hurry up or find a new spot. And stop grinding on me.”

Rain gets a mischievous look. “Oh, so don’t do this?” He presses his ass back into Dew and the fire ghoul does hiss this time.

“Alright, that’s it.” He growls dangerously, but it’s all for show. If this is his excuse to bow out of movie night early, all the better.

He scoops Rain up, strong despite his small size. Rain just grins as the girls giggle and Swiss whistles. Dew makes to go to his room but Rain tugs his sleeve and points to his room instead. Dew huffs but turns around and goes the opposite direction. He toes Rain’s door open, already cracked, and enters. And freezes in surprise as he takes in the room.

The room is dim, lit only by the fireplace and the black tallow candles spaced around the room. The bed is made with black silk sheets, way more expensive looking than the ones the boys are usually allowed. Blowing out a match after lighting the last candle is Phantom.

Rain hops down from Dew’s hold as the fire ghoul appraises the room. He crosses the room to gently tussle Phantom’s hair.

“Good job Bug. You did great setting everything up.”

Phantom purrs and leans into the touch.

Rain looks back to Dew, spearing him with his gaze. Gone is the sleepy clinginess. It was an act, Dew realizes. Now it’s replaced with something more calculating.

“This can go one of two ways. We can play it straight. Get you off real quick and you can go to bed. Or, we can have some fun. Up to you.”

And how can Dew say no to a scene as delicious as this? “Sure, why not? I’m game. Let’s play.”

“Then kneel for us.”

“Us? Me?” Dew blinks in confusion. So that’s how this is going to go. He thought Rain just wanted to be taken care of. Or maybe that Phantom was the prey. He realizes too late that he is.

He almost protests, in a bratty move rather than one of lack of interest. He's already falling to his knees though. Something about the hungry stare Rain pins him with stops him. Makes his legs weak and his head spin. He knows he’s in for it. In too deep and unable to refuse his siren. He looks up as Rain retrieves something from his desk and approaches. Rain shows him the length of black silk. A blindfold. He raises it in question.

Dew nods and ducks his head without complaint.

Rain gently pulls the silk over Dew’s eyes and ties it behind head, careful not to pull his hair. “How’s that?”

“Good.” Dew mumbles softly; shyly. He feels Rain take his hands and pull him to his feet.

“Now strip.”

Rain helps Dew remove his clothes, full of gentle caresses and coos of approval as his bare skin is revealed. Rain hasn’t touched him in any meaningful way yet, and yet Dew feels himself filling out. It’s the unexpectedness of every touch that has him extra sensitive. That, and the promise of what’s to come. Once he’s naked, he lets Rain guide him to the bed.

“Lie back for me.”

Dew does as he’s told and leans back into the silk sheets, reveling in how luxurious they are. They’re smooth and cool against his perpetually hot skin. He’s interrupted by Rain softly tracing his fingers over Dew’s arm. “One more thing.” Rain wraps another length of silk around one of Dew’s wrists. “Color?”

“Green.” Dew assures after a moment, proffering the other wrist and letting Rain bind them above his head.

Rain removes his hands and Dew can hear him step back.

“Isn’t he a vision like this?”

He hears Phantom hum an affirmative. Dew had forgotten that Phantom was also present. He blushes a little at the reminder that the new ghoul is there to see him so vulnerable, a state he really only allows Rain or Aether. The accompanying arousal is not unwelcome though.

“Going to let us help you feel good?” Rain asks.

“Please?” Dew whispers.

“So polite.” Rain coos. “See Phantom, he can behave. It just takes a special touch.”

Dew feels the mattress depress on either side of him and both ghouls join him on the bed. Someone, Rain from the petrichor taste, kisses him deeply. He feels a hand, probably Phantom’s as he thinks it's Rain’s hands cupping his face, stroking his hair. When Rain pulls away to suck marks into his neck, he barely has time to catch his breath before Phantom is licking into his mouth.

They take turns kissing him until his lips are swollen and spit slicked. He already feels drunk on their kisses alone. He yelps a little when someone rolls a nipple between their fingers. They shush him as they pull and twist on the ring threaded through the bud.

“We’ve got you. Just relax.” Rain purrs.

Their hands wander all over and Dew loses track of who’s who. Both Rain and Phantom run cold and their hands have similar callouses from their respective instruments. He eventually gives up trying to keep track when he swears he feels a third set of hands. The tell tale ozone scent of quintessence magick reveals the extra touches to be a trick of Phantom’s. He just tries to let himself lie back and feel.

As he allows himself to sink into the mattress, the tension in his shoulders and jaw visibly eases. Rain rewards him with a “That’s our good boy. Just focus on feeling good.”

Rain and Phantom are in no hurry. They take the time to worship every inch of his skin with kisses and feather light touches. Dew feels like he’s floating. Head pleasantly spacy and empty. He’s hard before long but he feels no urgency about it.

He barely notices when his thighs are pushed apart. He’s jolted back to some semblance of presence however, when one of them finally gets a hand on his weeping cock. They thumb over the head gathering pre as the other begins to suck and nip at his nipples.

He gasps and thrashes at the sudden stimulation, overwhelming after nothing significant for so long. Hands descend to hold his hips down and keep his thighs spread and all he can do is throw his head back, a line of bitten off curses spilling from him. His orgasm hurtles towards him and he feels a hot breath on his neck.

“Cum Dewdrop.” Rain, smooth, cool, and commanding.

Dew can’t help but comply. He arches his back and makes the most wrecked noises as he cums hot over the hand stroking him and his own stomach. They work him through it, pulling each and every last drop from him until he begins to buck and whine in overstimulation.

When he comes down from it, it’s to someone caressing his face.

“How was that sweetheart?” Rain hums.

“Mmm, good.” Dew hums dreamily.

“Wanna taste?”

Dew obediently opens his mouth, and allows fingers covered in his own cum to pet at his tongue. He laps at them lazily, tasting himself. If he wasn’t blindfolded they would see how his eyes roll back. The soft pleased noises he makes give him away all the same.

“This far gone already?” Rain teases. “I think he can handle a bit more though. What do you think Phantom?”

“Oh definitely. Just a little more Dewy? You can do that for us right?”

Dew nods eagerly in the direction he thinks Phantom is in. “Please. Need it.” He whimpers.

Not seconds later he hears the click of a bottle and the wet squelch of lube. Cool greased fingers tease at his fluttering rim. Two fingers breach him and begin to work him open. A hand, also lubed, returns to his cock to work him back up again. He bites his lip, forcing back a whine from the overstimulation of it all.

Someone straddles him, bracing their knees at his sides.

“Gonna ride you. Is that okay?” Phantom asks.

“Uh huh.” Dew nods, head lolling slightly in his spaced out state.

Without further ado, he feels Phantom lower himself until the head of Dew’s cock nudges his hole. He sinks down and both ghouls moan with it. The slide is easy and Dew guesses that Phantom took the time to work himself open earlier with this in mind. Phantom takes a second to adjust, but Dew by no means gets a break. Rain’s fingers are still hard at work scissoring him open. Rain curls them to pet at his prostate and Dew hisses at Phantom to move already.

Phantom obliges and begins to rock and bounce his hips in a rapid rhythm. Dew’s cock must be hitting all the right spots with the way he’s making noises to envy the ones coming from Dew.

Dew is useless to help, the overwhelming sensations of Phantom’s tight channel and Rain’s skilled fingers causing any remaining capacity to think to utterly melt away. He just lets Phantom take what he needs, along for the ride. He hears the wet slick sound of Phantom taking himself in hand. His rhythm soon begins to falter, a telltale sign he’s on the edge.

“Close.” He whimpers.

Dew can only nod in agreement, the fangs pressed into his bottom lip threatening to break skin. He gasps, a moan escaping as Phantom squeezes tight around him and hot ropes of cum splatter against both their stomachs. Dew can’t hold back any longer and coats Phantom’s insides with his own release.

Phantom eases off, both of them hissing, before flopping down on the bed next to Dew. At some point, Rain had removed his fingers. Dew wonders for a split second if they’re done with him. Instead he feels Rain’s hard length at his entrance. He shakes his head in worry. His head is swimming. Every touch is overwhelmingly electric. He feels like he's going to explode. He’s not sure he can take it this soon. Not sure his body is going to let him get hard again for a while; much less cum.

“Rainy, I...I don’t think…”

Rain senses his dilemma. He feels a cool hand cup his cheek. “Sure you can. Been so good for us already. Just one more?”

Dew takes a deep breath and nods. “Okay.”

Just in case, Rain softens his tone and asks, “Color?”

“I’m green.” He says more assuredly “Need it. Please.”

“Good boy.” Rain praises, giving his cheek a pat. “Give him some help, Bug.” is Dew’s only warning before Phantom’s hand closes around his cock. He can feel the tingle of quintessence and he sobs as he begins to miraculously stiffen up again.

“Ready for me, droplet?”

“Yeah-fuck! Yes!” Dew pleads. The wave of quintessence is accompanied by a fresh tidal wave of need.

Rain plants his hands on Dew’s waist and steadies him. Dew can feel Rain line up and slowly push in. Even worked open by Rain’s skilled fingers, there's a delightful stretch. Dew’s mouth gapes in a silent cry as Rain bottoms out.

“So tight baby. Fits like a glove.” Rain hums, voice husky with pleasure.

Rain gives Dew a chance to adjust before starting slow smooth thrusts, aided by Rain and Dew’s slick. It’s a stark contrast to Phantom’s rabbit quick bounces. Rain goes almost maddeningly slow. Dew can feel every inch as Rain fucks into him lovingly.

Rain keeps up a steady string of praise. “Good boy. So pretty like this. Taking it so well.” It’s making Dew crazy, how relaxed and level Rain sounds. As if he’s not buried in Dew’s ass and melting what’s left of his brain with each thrust.

After what seems like an eternity, Dew feels his hips get lifted as a pillow is shoved underneath him. The angle change is devastating. Rain pairs it with a hard and fast thrust that sends Dew gasping. From that point on, both are chasing their pleasure. The room is filled with desperate moans and the squelch of slick. They find a rhythm, Rain pounding him into the mattress as Dew desperately cants his hips to meet Rain’s thrusts.

Dew feels a hand wrap around his length, likely Phantom, and all he can do is thump his head back into the pillows, so overwhelmed by the onslaught of pleasure to do much else. Rain leans down over him, his body delightfully cool in comparison to Dew’s sweat damp skin. They lock lips as the pleasure mounts, moaning into each other’s mouths as they cum in tandem.

Dew sees stars, and everything goes hazy in the aftermath of his third orgasm. When he comes back to himself, limbs heavy and body pleasantly satiated, he’s pressed between Rain and Phantom. Both pet him tenderly, murmuring praises and sweet nothings. He can see them looking down at him fondly, the blindfold having been removed. Phantom soothingly massages his wrists, slightly sore from the tie.

“Back with us droplet?”

He mrrps in what he hopes they understand as an affirmative.

They seem to, leaning in to press kisses to his face.

“I’m so proud of you. You did so well for us sweetheart.” Rain hums.

Phantom nods. “So good.”

Dew just presses his face into Rain’s chest to hide the flush still coloring his cheeks.

“Oh, feeling shy?” Phantom smiles. “That’s okay. We’ve got you.”

After Dew has shaken off a little more of the haze he squirms a little. “Sticky.” He whimpers.

“I know, baby. Let's go get rinsed off and find some clean sheets, okay?” Rain offers.

Dew sleepily nods.

The three of them pile into Rain’s massive bathtub and soak to their heart’s content; all of them sleepy and relaxed. They keep Dew between them, pressed close to either side. It’s both due to Dew’s clinginess and neither of them trusting him to stay upright on his own. When they feel sufficiently clean, they dry off with fluffy towels and put on pajamas that Rain was sure to have waiting. Then they set up a blanket nest on the floor in front of Rain’s fireplace. Dew and Phantom curl up immediately. Rain replaces the bed sheets with clean white cotton ones before joining them, sliding in on Dew’s free side.

They sit in silence for a while, just cuddling in front of the fire. Suddenly, Phantom turns to Dew.

“You enjoyed that right? Was it okay that I was here?”

Dew blinks sleepily. “Yeah, it was good Bug. Don’t worry about it.” He waves a hand to dismiss the thought.

“Okay good. Rain said he had to wrangle you here so I wasn’t sure.”

Rain chuffs. “Yeah he pretends to hate it but he loves it.”

Phantom tilts his head in curiosity. “Why pretend to not like it then? If you enjoy it, why don’t you just ask for it?”

Rain tenses, preparing for Dew’s inevitable snarky remark. Phantom means well but he’s treading in dangerous territory.

To his surprise however, Dew’s soft, rather than harsh, reply is “I…I dunno…” He trails off.

Rain is ready to jump in but Phantom stops him, gently touching his shoulder and shaking his head as if to say, wait.

Dew sighs and finds his words. “I guess…I'm scared to be vulnerable. Scared to let my guard down.” He shrugs and shakes his head in self directed annoyance.

“But we’re not going to hurt you.” Phantom supplies. “You’re part of our pack. You’re family.”

“Yeah, I know that. It’s just, it took me a long time to adjust to life topside…then when I finally did, the element change fucked everything up for a while.” He rolls his eyes and huffs. “Then, I had to readjust all over again. I guess…I’m just afraid of losing control again. Rain and Aeth have been trying to help. It’s getting better but…” He shrugs again as if to brush it all off.

Phantom thinks over Dew’s words quietly and Rain soothingly rubs the fire ghoul’s back. Finally he says, “Thank you for trusting me and letting us take care of you.”

“Yeah, don’t mention it.” Dew waves it off, but the slight smile he tries to hide by ducking his head into Rain’s chest gives him away. All the same, he murmurs quietly, “Thank you. I needed that.”

Rain wraps his arms around Dew and Phantom curls closer to press a kiss between his horns.