#runnerpost

[somerunner]

In my high school, all you needed to get a varsity letter in cross country was, I think, to get under 19 minutes on a 5K. Most of the varsity letter requirements for other sports were similarly easy to meet. Our school wasn't known for athletics.

My first race was a little under 22 minutes long, and every year I struggled to get my time lower than 19:50.

My senior year, I had hit puberty, so I had more strength and cardiovascular fitness than before. I figured I would make it this time, and I trained as optimally as I could. I followed the coaches' directions more closely (my brother and I were once told that, given our fitness, we should never run slower than 9 minutes a mile for an easy run; it took until senior year for me to actually follow that advice). I ate well, slept...probably poorly, and I felt pretty fit compared to previous years. My dad bought me and my brothers Garmin Forerunners, which are GPS watches that can tell you your pace in the middle of a race. He came to as many of our races as he could all throughout high school, and our mom did too (she came to our middle school races in addition to high school ones -- it was no fault of our dad's, not to come to our middle school races; I find it impressive and touching that he made it to almost all of my high school ones. In middle school it was always some random distance so we never really had a consistent distance to truly compete against ourselves with. High school had bigger teams and each race always right around five kilometers, with one notable exception).

The watches helped a lot. (I still have mine from back then, but it struggles to hold a charge for a full run unless you've kept it in the charger until the minute you go running. I don't use it quite as much; I've misplaced my charger too often, and I don't want to look for it a day in advance just so my watch can tell me my strides per minute (arguably important, but I digress). I can't pace myself any better than in high school, but I don't need to because there's no exact season or race I'm training for -- though for something big, like a marathon, I will actually use the watch. My phone can record my pace for less-important runs.)

Anyway. Back to the point. I hadn't broken 19 minutes my whole senior year, and we were down to one last race. I was anxious the whole last week. The last three days, I could practically feel adrenaline seeping into every capillary like I was a sponge. It felt good, unsurprisingly to me (though that may be surprising to you). I felt ready.

The last meet was big, full of schools. I'd just learned from my dad (either that day, or just before some other race in the past week or two) that the "strides," or short almost-sprints you do a few minutes before a race, are actually important -- they prime your body for that first 100-meter dash where you stake your position for the next mile. If you don't do your strides, you'll dip into anaerobic metabolism early, and your legs might be locked up halfway through the race, and that's bye-bye sub-19:00.

I felt like I weighed like nothing. My entire body was a spring. Side note: if you've never put on racing flats/spikes, I encourage you to borrow a pair for a short run (and I mean short! Like 100 meters if you don't run, and a mile or two if you do run). It feels like there's a weightless force field on your foot, with how light it is compared to a normal shoe. It's a surreal feeling.

When we started the race, I felt a touch desperate. I ran only a little slower than my best; you're supposed to hold yourself back for the first mile. I knew that, but I glanced at my watch to see that I was averaging a 5:00/mile pace. That was WAY beyond my target pace, and I barely even noticed. That was heartening to see, but I obviously dialed the pace way, way back to 5:45/mile or something. I needed this record-breaking adrenaline to last me for three miles, not half of one.

Frankly, all I remember of that race was that first 200-meter dash and the disconnect between what I felt and what I saw on my watch. I always have that disconnect during a race, but it was especially pronounced during this race.

The next two miles were hard but good, and I broke 19. I got a massive personal record (PR) to end my high school career with; I think it was more than a minute of improved time. Which is rather insane. Improvement tends to be more incremental than that, but things like this do happen pretty often in running, especially at the relatively slow paces I ran at.

My brother broke 19 and 18 in the same race. Just skipped right over the whole 18-minutes-something-seconds window. I was over the moon for him, of course. We'd both made it past the lettering-qualification by the skin of our teeth, and at the same time, by a huge margin.

He's kept up with consistent running more than I have. He's also gotten me back into running after I semi-gave up on it, and our older brother's gotten back into running too. We, along with our dad, decided to run a marathon/half-marathon together this summer. I'd say we all did well, though I didn't train as much for it as I should have.

I've only ran one marathon so far, and it was recent, but now I'm feeling the itch. I want to run another one, I want to absolutely demolish my time. Admittedly, this is partially because I didn't practice as much as I should have, and I've seen my brothers' times, so I know how much farther I can go.

If you've come close to your (previous) best at something, you might have realized too that it was only a false summit. Could be a project within your hobby, could be a physical accomplishment, it could be anything that requires some level of effort large or small. But I hope, when you realized you could do even better than you just did, that it felt inspiring.

It's kind of a rush.

[somerunner]

Right now I'm struggling to do like...any homework. One of the homework assignment types is readings, which I use a little trick to get done. This trick addresses the facts that I have to focus to read it, and I also have to be able to tell myself that I really did read every word.

So I just open up a little Notepad instance off to the side, and rewrite the reading word for word as I read it. If I forget a sentence or otherwise lose pace, I can just look back at the Notepad instance to see where I left off. Do I internalize any of the info I read? No. I am focusing entirely on typing. In fact, after writing, I do a quick skim of the reading to actually understand it.

I periodically delete my transcription, as it's really just a focusing tool and not a note-taking method. And, after writing anywhere from 2-10 paragraphs, I can finally just focus on the reading and finish it out without doing this manual-copying thing.

If it works, it works.

[somerunner]

Ooooohhhh I’m liking this talk (mainly because it talks about humility and repentance without sounding like a veiled reference to queerness and doubt)

Feels like this talk is directly talking to me about my self-destructive tendencies and telling me “you gotta recognize your faults before you can fix them. This (i.e. scrolling for hours, ignoring others’ needs, etc.) isn’t haha funny, this is actually a bad thing. Now work on it.”

[somerunner]

So you got bouldering. Very fun. Do as one person, you have “projects” which are climbs that take many tries to complete. Projects are also in all other climbing but talked about in bouldering often.

You got top-rope climbing. Very fun. You climb until you really can’t anymore, instead of climbing until you get tired.

You got lead climbing. Amazing. All the fear that you got rid of by doing top-rope over and over, it comes back. Nice adrenaline boost.

I’m not sure I will ever be brave or experienced enough (or dedicated enough to fork out the cash) to do trad climbing. I don’t trust the little cracks in the rock to hold onto the little nuts and slightly-less-little cams. I don’t.

[somerunner]

My dad also gave me universally-applicable running advice: “Something is better than nothing.” Usually about getting a very short run in if you don’t have the time, available effort, or fitness to do a longer run. And it also works everywhere.

My father always told me: "If you want to go for a run, go for a run, don't look for company. Sooner or later, on your fifth run or your twentieth, like-minded people will find you themselves." And only recently have I realized that this principle works everywhere.

[somerunner]

I still am struggling to do homework and get a bunch of basic duties done on time (or at all). Though, in watching how other people get themselves to do their work, I think I've learned two things that might help me accomplish a little more.

...Repeatedly. Over and over. I've known both of these things for almost my whole life; this isn't anything new. I'm just making a post because of a funny way I got reminded of these things a few months ago.

Anyway -- first, hard-working people have discipline and they practice delayed gratification (a phrase I despise, because in practice it feels like denied gratification, up until the task is done. It doesn't feel "delayed" at all. But I digress). And second, a lot of them maintain interest even when not working. They care about their field of work outside of just work.

And that second part intrigues me -- you don't have to spend so much energy shifting mental gears if your work and leisure occupy similar niches (well, some of your leisure).

Finally, the story from a few months ago, which is why I'm posting this obvious wisdom in the first place -- I was watching an anime called Life Lessons with Uramichi Oniisan, which is a sitcom about burned-out adult actors in a live-action children's show. They struggle to maintain in-character optimism in front of the kids and often insert a bunch of hilariously depressing asides into their lines; yadda yadda, that's the main appeal of the show. But despite their exhaustion, at the end of the day, they still have good relationships with their coworkers and child audiences, and motivate themselves to come into work day after day.

What stuck out to me personally was that, in one scene, they all hung out at one coworker's apartment to watch their own program air on television, after it had gone through post-production. That was them hanging out: watching the fruits of their labors on-screen.

And watching this idea of "do work-adjacent stuff in your leisure time" take place in a cynical-humor anime was more memorable than months of hearing my physics professors chat with each other about the latest colloquiums and science news.

----

P.S. This was the most memorable and interesting recent experience that taught me to, for lack of better wording, like what I do. But it is not the most influential. Years of watching my professors and other mentor figures, and fellow students and other peers, is far more influential. This post-script note is my disclaimer about that. At the end of the day, I don't want to say "one-time entertainment is more impactful on worldviews than repeated real-world experience." That's the kind of mindset that encourages staying online for "just one more deep meme" instead of going outside and doing/enjoying mundane reality.

That's kind of what the whole point of this post was, really; make sure to try and enjoy the things you have to do. Try to enjoy being offline, working, striving. ...and I'll try to follow this advice myself.

[somerunner]

Fanfic ask game: 15, something you learned this year

Oog. Um, I learned a lot of things that I used to know and then forgot; the first things that came to mind were several lessons about productivity and mental health, and after that were a few things from my classes.

Something short and fun…

I learned about spin-casting, a method of creating some circular object by rotating liquid in a drum until it cures. That was cool. I watched it in a video of a guy creating model rockets (the channel was “BPS.space”)

There were probably several things I learned here on Tumblr about the arts, but I’ve probably forgotten them along with the many many STEM-things I’ve also learned here. I suppose in a roundabout way I’ve learned that I should take paper notes on things I find interesting.

Long story short, I’ve learned and forgotten a lot.

[somerunner]

I follow some variant on the Golden Rule with regards to personal posts. If I post something personal I expect someone to like and un-like it to indicate they’ve seen it. Since I have almost 18,000 likes, I just like personal posts and never un-like them.

The issue is that I don’t know if this is rude or intrusive to the people whose posts I like. So idk. There was one post in particular, a month or more ago, where someone posted a disturbing personal anecdote, so I just tossed a reblog in my drafts so I could remember it. Instead of tossing the like into my likes folder, which will never realistically see the light of day.

Poll time! Most of my mutuals won’t see this but I might as well make a poll for it.

[somerunner]

what's the deal with hydrogen

I like pipe-dream technology ideas, especially ones about cheap energy. I’m more aware now of how infeasible hydrogen fusion is, but I’ve always had a passing interest in it.

In freshman year of college, I decided to create a science-communication YouTube channel, where I’d briefly touch on a science topic. Like, one to eight minutes. And my first video would be on hydrogen fusion.

I never made more than half a video, but I still want to make all those videos I had wanted to make five years ago.

Anyway, posting about hydrogen is like an itty-bitty token step towards working on my fusion video. So I’m making a lot of hydrogenposts.

Oh, and I like doing numbers and it seems like an untapped niche. (Science communication and getting mildly famous are two of my favorite things, not that I’ve ever done either)

[somerunner]

Ever since I was 17 (first time I joined a web forum) I would look at true posters and be in awe of their notes-getting, and looked up to them for the quality of their posts and also the amount of notes they got. In freshman year of college a year and a half later, I got delusions of grandeur that I would become a famous YouTuber (I never released a single video on my channel).

I’m slightly better now. But still, it always surprises me to see a True Poster who’s like, 23 or something, or (worse?) my same age. I feel like I’m looking into an alternate timeline, that I could have become this too if I had simply dedicated myself a little more.

…I also feel this action-less ambition and wist about things that actually matter, like jobs and being well-adjusted. But to a lesser extent.

[somerunner]

I don't have a very popular blog -- roughly 60 followers not counting bots, and about ten of those are ones I actually see in my Activity feed. So I check my Activity feed compulsively, and occasionally I see that one of my older (well, one-year-old) posts has been reblogged.

And you know, I always wonder how people find my older posts. If you click the header (the area around the OP/reblogger’s icon) an old post, then ones from just before it also show up, as if you’ve teleported through their dash to that date.

Sometimes my recently-reblogged older posts have a tag, so I imagine that whoever reblogged it just found a tagged post they were interested by and started trawling all of my posts with that same tag. But on occasion, they reblog an old post with *no* tags. I can only imagine they were trawling one of my tags and took a detour. Clicking one of the specific posts, then letting the same-time posts fill the screen to resume scrolling on (speaking of that, I need to tag all my posts so they’re easier to trawl through). Or maybe it just showed up in the For You page.

I've posted at least one other post about page-trawling, but I don't know if I'll find it, so I'm posting this separately. I think lurking/archive-trawling should be easy to privately do without getting any comments about it, especially since I lurk and trawl too, but it's (i.e. old-post reblogs) happened a few times recently and I guess I just wanted an excuse to remark about it.

Carry on lurking as usual.

[somerunner]

Really odd to me how the most valuable moral a story could have, for me specifically, is to live in the present. Stay grounded, touch grass, keep your head out of the clouds, etc. To stop relying so heavily on escapism.

And the thing is, a moral like that is antithetical to a web serial’s, or other ongoing story’s, survival. It would have to tell me to abandon it entirely. The best story tries to get me to stop consuming it.

So whenever I come across this kind of moral, I act against it — I want to reward authors for telling me to log off, so I keep reading their works even after I’ve been given a valuable epiphany. (Not that continuing to read a free web serial without monetarily supporting the author, or even commenting, is a “reward” for the direction the story takes. However, this is the broken logic I use.) I also want to spend my limited time reading/watching something that tells me helpful morals, despite this being vastly inferior to just spending my time well. You know, do what the story is telling me to do.

Anyway, escapism is fine in moderation, but I should really log off and spend fewer than 40 hours a week just scrolling. And if you spend anywhere near or above that amount of time scrolling, and it’s not for a job, then you should probably log off too.

Just know that addiction usually is a self-treatment for other issues, so you may not actually get better off. Uh, good luck with your problems after logging off. Maybe log back on, but more carefully. Or don’t. Like, don’t log back on; not don’t be careful.

Anyway. I’ll be back online pretty much immediately anyway, so this is more of a 2 AM musing than anything else.

[somerunner]

I'm doing a reading for a class that I withdrew from. It's an excerpt from a book about teaching, and the excerpt itself is about the refusal to learn. The author goes into detail about the difference between refusal to learn and failure to learn, and about why refusal to learn is a concept with its own merit. The price of refusal and its reward are pretty intertwined - you don't get to participate as fully with people who do learn, which can be a wanted or unwanted thing; you are set apart in status from those who learn, which again can be wanted/unwanted; you don't have your mindset changed, etc. etc.

I found it a very fascinating excerpt, though I haven't finished it yet.

[runnercomics]

Day 3 - Jig

[somerunner]

Two truths! But with one lie! Don't deny!

I skimmed through the Lung sections and a couple other chapters in Worm because I was getting fatigued.

I got a 36 on the ACT with minimal prep and have coasted off of that into bad study habits netting me a currently-2.4 college GPA.

I've broken the 5-minute barrier on a mile. Once.

[runnercomics]

Day 2 - reaction image (doubt)

I put this in drafts on accident. Day 3 is also done, each took about 1 minute (I refuse to zoom in while drawing just to get passable eyes, hence why it didn’t take 10 seconds)