#it's literally what the whole show is about šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
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starmocha Ā· 2 days ago
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Hi hello so im back again with a smaaaaaaallllll rant about Colonel Caleb and general's daughter. I just got the ideea and i had, once again, nowhere to rant about it.
Ahham. So....them having their own 'myth' lets say. They were lovers in their past lives(historical maybe the 1800 or the 1900)but couldn't be toghter since she was of lower status then Caleb, him being a Colonel in the army (i love Colonel Caleb so bear with me) and her being a commoner or someting and she dies in his arms and he swears to protect her in their next lives and faith makes sure to have them be of the same 'rank'??? so he could fullfill his promise FUCK MY MIND IS IN RUINS šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
I hope i made myself clear if not blame my mind, thank you! Good night! šŸ˜­šŸ˜‚ā¤ļøā¤ļø
MINA I AM DELIGHTED TO SEE YOU AND YOUR LOVELY AU AGAIN. <333 gosh I wanted to answer this immediately last night, but Calebā€™s latest trailer had me losing my mind and things spiraled šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
Giving you all of my attention, because EXCUSE ME. WHEELS ARE SPINNING.
Can weā€¦can we just indulge on this a little more? šŸ„¹ omg excuse the slightly heavy Moulin Rouge! influences sprinkled in here, but this is the vibe I am getting, especially for their ā€œtragicā€ ending.
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A Colonel and His Lover
Imagine Colonel Caleb is dragged to a brothel by his associates and superiors. He finds the whole thing disdainful, but is pressured by his own superiors to indulge in a little nightly fun and let loose and forget their duties for a bit.
He doesnā€™t plan to. He had planned on leaving the moment everyone finds their partners.
Until he sees you.
Literally lust love at first sight.
Heā€™s captivated by your beauty, your wits, and heā€™s falling hard and fast before he realizes what is happening.
One night with you leaves him yearning for more. He has already remembered how you felt under him, the way you quivered and moaned for him.
He remembers the sweet nothings uttered between the two of you, and though a tiny part in his mind is telling him that you are just a whore who is good with her tongue, he wants to believe that there is something genuine blossoming between the two of you.
He starts going back to the whorehouse more often. Nightly, if he could. He still puts on an act that he was being pressured to tag along, but in reality, all he wants is to see you again. No matter what it takes, what the price, he wants you and only you.
In the beginning, he was just another client. One of those military brutes who only saw you as something that can be bought for and used until they were satisfied.
You did intentionally charm him in the beginning. A false smile, a few sweet words to prickle his male ego, but it soon becomes apparent to you that Caleb is not like all of your previous clients. When he sees you, there is genuine feelings in his eyes, he is truly looking at you for you and not just a body to be used.
You try to discourage your own feelings, reminding yourself of the different classes you belong to. This can never happenā€”could never happen.
A prestigious colonel on his way to greatness and a common whore? What a joke. It seems almost insulting to entertain such an idea that you could ever truly be his. You quiet those feelings, try to imagine him as any of those other bastards who drag you to bed.
Except you canā€™t.
Caleb wonā€™t let you. He sees you for you. He wants to know you, the real you, who you have hidden away for years.
You no longer wait for him to come to you as a client. You begin to sneak around whenever you both could, having regular rendezvouses where he is no longer a client or youā€™re a whore, but two lovers meeting to be together.
After one afternoon delight, you lay with him in an inn bed, tangled in sheets and wrapped in his warmth, and he paints you a beautiful picture of the life you both could have together.
He would buy you all of the beautiful dresses for you to wear, show you off with pride, his equal at his side wherever he goes. Men may still lust after you, their wives green with envy, but to Caleb, he couldnā€™t care, because he knows you are his and his alone.
You would live in a beautiful house, your days filled with idle contentment and no longer have to worry about anything or want for anything. Caleb promises to provide you with everything you could want and more.
When you tell him, though, that he is all that you want, his cheeks tinge pink, but his smile is layered with joy and alsoā€¦gratitude? He looks at you like you are his whole world, because thatā€™s just how it is: you are his world now. He had never thought he could cherish someone as much as he cherishes you.
A beautiful life awaits you. He asks you to marry him.
For just a moment, you hesitate, and he is confused. He gently questions you, wondering if you have any doubts about his feelings.
ā€œNo! Never!ā€ you tell him, and then reluctantly, you reveal that you could still feel that distance in classes between the two of you. You worry about his reputation, and Caleb seems surprised.
He reassures you there is nothing for you to worry about. He can handle whatever happens, and he promises to keep you safe.
You agree to marry him.
Life continues as normal as the two of you plan to run away and elope. He had promised you an extravagant wedding, but you want him now, already wanting to be his wife and he your husband.
This rosy life you are seeing turns grey in an instant, everything grinding to a halt when you start to display symptoms of an unknown illness. You start coughing up blood more often, your body weakened some days to the point you need to be bedridden. Secretly, you hid everything from Caleb, not wanting him to worry.
Caleb starts wising up, realizing something is wrong when you continue to evade his questions or even outrightly avoid meeting him again.
When a physician reveals to you that you only have less than five months to live, you realize that the dream life Caleb promised you would never come true. Not wanting him to bear the pain of seeing you dying, you start to drive a further wedge between the two of you, consciously doing things to make him hate you so he wouldnā€™t ever have to feel the pain of losing you.
It works.
You fight with him to the point that youā€™re both yelling and screaming at one another until he loses control of his anger and drives his fist into a wall, scaring you briefly, having never seen this side of him before. He doesnā€™t want you to see him like this either, so he leaves, leaving you with these bitter harsh words and some bills tossed at you in spite:
ā€œI have paid for my whore. My debt is paid and she is nothing to me.ā€
When he is out of sight, you fall to the ground sobbing, angry at yourself for doing a good job of driving him away and making him hate your existence. The man you loved is gone, and though it hurts, you still wish he would find someone to replace you, because you still love him with your whole heart and never want him to be alone like this.
Caleb is angry and it shows. The Colonel has always been very disciplined and strict, but everyone has noticed his temper seemed even more short. There is no leniency with him. You mess up, he will make sure you learn from your mistakes. You talk back to him, and it will be your last words in his presence.
He starts to drink more often, wishing to numb his pain, to forget your fights, to forget you. There is no alcohol in the world strong enough to cure him of this heartache. In spite of everything, he still loves you. He replays the memories often, wondering when everything had gone wrong.
One night as he sits at the bar, on his fifth glass of scotch, he pulls out a ring box, opening it to look at the dainty little ring he had secretly chosen for you. It wasnā€™t a huge diamond, but still perfectly sized, and he knows it would look beautiful on your finger.
He downs his glass, pays his tab, and stumbles out of the bar. He staggers through the streets disoriented, not even thinking clearly of where he is going.
He finds himself at the brothel again, and he scoffs. He goes in, demanding to see you.
The madame there tries to turn him away. She knows who he is, and also knows of his secret relationship with one her girls. She knows what you two had planned, because you had revealed everything to her and begged her to never let him come near you againā€”for his sake. Always for his sake. Even as you are dying upstairs, each day, you breathing growing weaker, you still think of him.
Caleb doesnā€™t take ā€œnoā€ for an answer and in his current drunken state, he is more prone to violence than usual, slurring insults about you in spite. It isnā€™t until one of the other girls screams out that you were dying, that he freezes, sobering up instantly.
ā€œWhatā€¦did you say?ā€
His whole world had stopped. The colors drain from his face, his heart slowing as he replays her words in his mind. The dots start to connect as he remembers all of your final fights, realizing your expressions had always seemed off somehow.
His throat is dry, his limbs rigid as he tries to move. Suddenly, he runs off in a mad dash before anyone could stop him. He rushes up the stairs, passing several rooms, pushing anyone in his way to the side until he finds your room, the door bursting open and he freezes again, not recognizing the frail woman laying in bed under multiple covers as a nurse is tending to her.
Caleb doesnā€™t leave and rushes to your side, dropping to his knees as he reaches for your hand, begging you to look at him. He apologizes profusely, his eyes glistening with tears.
ā€œWhy didnā€™t you tell me?! Why did you lie to me?! Why, whyā€¦whyā€¦ā€
His large hands wrapped around yours, holding it close to his face as he sobs.
ā€œCa..lebā€¦ā€
He looks up, seeing you smiling at him weakly.
ā€œIā€™m here,ā€ he assures you, ā€œIā€™m hereā€¦Iā€™m not leavingā€¦Not againā€¦ā€
Too weak to fight, too relieved to see him, you let him stay and you close your eyes.
He stays by your side for your remaining days, cherishing the little time you had left.
One afternoon as he watches you sleep, he sits on the edge of the bed, his fingers brushing aside your hair, his eyes heavy with sadness as he realizes how frail and pale you are now compared to who you were months earlier. Quietly, he pulls out the ring box, taking the ring out, and slipping it on your ring finger. It looks perfect on you, just like he had known it would.
When you wake that evening and see the ring, you start to protest, saying itā€™s wasted on you.
He silences you with a kiss, and once again, he reassures you that nothing he does for you is ever wasted effort. You are his only bride, and no one will ever take your place.
Time dwindles, and he watches you waste away each day, his heart heavy with remorse and anger that he is losing you before his very eyes and there is nothing that he can do to stop this. For all of his strength and glory, Caleb has never felt as weak and helpless as he does now.
He tries to fill your days with as much comfort and happiness as he could.
It was a spring afternoon when he lays in bed with you. He leans back against the headboard, your body resting against his, the cover up to your neck for warmth, but nothing felt more comforting than his own body heat against you.
He tells you stories again and as you listen to him, you wonder why his voice sounds more distant even though he is right here next to you.
Caleb watches, realizing, he has lost you, your body growing colder and unresponsive.
He breaks down crying as a warm spring breeze rustles into the room from the opened balcony door. He holds you close to him and just sobs and curses every deity in the world.
He promises in the next life, he will be a better man and give you what you deserve. In the next life, things will go right. The story of you and him will be rewritten, he swears on his life.
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zepskies Ā· 2 days ago
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Aw welcome back, Wayne!! šŸ˜˜ I'm so happy to hear that you've been thinking of this series. šŸ„° And I'm so excited to see what you thought of Part 2...
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I'm so in love with their little bonding sessions. Being stuck inside a cabin and playing games? I want that šŸ˜
Aww it's the little moments with Dean that I would so love -- along with just being snowed in, in a cabin with him. šŸ˜
And lol it's gotta be so awkward for true mates when they're still strangers. I absolutely adored her thought process throughout šŸ˜†
Lolll YEP exactly. šŸ˜† Like, realistically how do you broach that conversation with someone? I'm glad you liked that attempt to inject some realism there. šŸ¤£
Love how Dean doesn't realize he's oversharing and that his whole childhood might not have been normal šŸ˜‚
ahaha Dean got so into his story he didn't realize he was giving himself away there! Bit of a rookie move, but she's his literal soulmate, so he's probably a little distracted. šŸ¤Ŗ
And oh God, all those journal entries šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ I know they're from the OG journal, but it just rips my heart right out again rereading it šŸ˜¢ Those portray John's despair and heartbreak way better than the show did...
Girl I had never read the official journal, and it hit me in the feels in just the same way. šŸ˜­ I had that exact same thought -- that they served to humanize John and explain why he became the way he was with the boys way better than the show did.
Ooooh, let's think about it, shall we? šŸ˜ Her dad might have totally been snatched by something supernatural. Considering their location and how it happened in her memories, it might have been a Wendigo?? šŸ¤”
Ooh you're red-hot! ā¤ļøā€šŸ”„ā¤ļøā€šŸ”„
Dude! Goosebumps! Wendigos scare the shit outta me šŸ™ˆ It's still why The Descent is the scariest movie for me. I die from a heart attack every time ļæ½ļæ½ šŸ«£
ooooh my God, I haven't seen The Descent, but if it's anything like the Wendigo episode, than I don't wanna know. šŸ˜­ Legit when I was first starting to watch SPN I had to take a break after that episode -- and it was only episode 2!! šŸ˜©
No! Alex!!!! YOU KNOW THIS IS WHY I HATE SNOOPING Girl, you're killing me here... šŸ˜†šŸ˜†
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LOLL I love that you referenced Smoke Eater -- it's those same vibes from Part 8, isn't it? I have a little less sympathy for the reader in this situation, but she is ultimately sorry for going through his private journal/invading his privacy to the nth degree. šŸ˜…
OMGG I LOVED that gif of the little polar bear. šŸ„¹šŸ„¹ Took me right out with the cuteness lmao. I laughed so hard at all your commentary with the reader and her lack of bear knowledge. šŸ˜
N'aw, I know it was necessary but poor bear ā€“ wrong place, wrong time for the fella šŸ„ŗšŸ’”
Aww I know, I felt bad for writing that part. Poor Ted. šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
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My heart is full šŸ˜­ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø (Also, I doubt he can ever stand to let her go her own way after this lmao)
Ha! You're right about that one. I just love me some protective Alpha Dean. šŸ˜
Huh. Never eaten bear before... Never even thought about it before lol Also seems like something the Shaws would've done šŸ˜‚
Me either lmao, but I've read about people who actually hunt for a living who survive off bear, caribou, bison, etc. I imagine it's a hard way to live, but omg yeah I could see Ashton making his kids learn how to shoot, but them not wanting to shoot a bear or a deer. šŸ˜­
Omg I love that ending! Dean's finally coming around, and she's putting the puzzle pieces about her dad together. I wonder what Dean will do when he hears the full story? Would he go hunt the thing? Is it even still out there??? Questions upon questions... šŸ¤”
Aw I'm glad! Yesss it's about time with him lol. Good thing all your questions there will be answered in Part 3...
So excited for the next part!! I'm loving this story and everything you've put in it, and the dynamic between them is amazing. So well done, friend šŸ˜šŸ©µšŸ©µ
Aw thank you so much, my friend!! I tried to balance the slower "getting to know you" parts with some of this actiony/dramatic stuff as they slowly grow closer. šŸ„°šŸ’œšŸ’œ
Also, don't think I forgot about the last two chapters of Polaris. I'm so looking forward to diving into those chapters soon!! šŸ˜˜
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Against the Wind - Part 2
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Pairing:Ā Alpha!Dean Winchester x F. Omega!ReaderĀ 
Summary: You wake up in a strange alphaā€™s cabin in the middle of a snowstorm, all with a busted ankle. He holds shadows in his eyes, even though his hands are gentle. There are iron shutters around his heart, even though he saved you. You might just save him in return.
AN:Ā Thank you guys so much for all the amazing feedback on Part 1! Now, most of your theories and questions will be answered...
Jacklesverse Bingo24 Prompt: True Mates @jacklesversebingo
Song Inspo:Ā ā€œAgainst the Windā€ by Bob Seger
Word Count: 3.8K
Tags/Warnings: Angst, and peril, the other kind of "hunting."
Series MasterlistĀ || Bingo Masterlist
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Part 2: Seems Like Yesterday
ā€œIā€™ll raise you 25,ā€ you say, tossing five chocolate covered pretzels into the middle pile. Itā€™s a risky bet, considering how much you lost in the last hand. Dean regards you with an amused, if critical eye while he holds his cards.
ā€œOoh, youā€™re bluffing,ā€ he says. You pop your brows at him, a subtle smile tugging at your lips.
ā€œYou want to test that theory? Put your money where your mouth is,ā€ you challenge.
He tilts his head at you with a raise of his own brows.
ā€œCheeky omega,ā€ he mutters. His attention returns to his cards as he deliberates on his next move.
You attempt to be nonchalant as you glance down at your cards again. Itā€™s a shitty hand, but he doesnā€™t need to know that. The alphaā€™s won the last two hands of Texas Hold ā€˜Em, but you did win the first one. Though you suspect he let you win.
You want to at leastĀ even the score before he resumes his work out in the shed. He spends most of his time there during the day, or making sure the firewood is stocked. It seems like he takes any excuse not to spend too much time in your presence.
More than anything, you want to ask him if he feels what you feelā€”the same tug in the pit of your stomach every time heā€™s nearby. You just havenā€™t found a way to broach that with him.
Hey, I know we just met like two minutes ago, but I think weā€™re supposed to be together. Do you feel it too?
You nearly roll your eyes at yourself. Yeah, thatā€™ll go over well.
So you have to be content with mornings like this and in the evenings, where he lets you put on one of his records, and you two share dinner together, maybe another round of cards. Or youā€™ll read a book while lounging on the chaise, and he lays out on the couch, listening to his music with his eyes closed. You like watching him like that, with a relaxed, damn near peaceful set to his face.
Too often he holds that harder, stoic expression, or that divot between his brows that makes you want to soothe two of your fingers there; or better yet, lean in and press your lipsā€”
ā€œItā€™s your move,ā€ Dean reminds you. Heā€™s finally played his hand, but you were too distracted to hear what he said.
ā€œWhatā€™d you do?ā€ you ask, surveying the piles of cards.
ā€œCall,ā€ he repeats, popping a few pretzels into his mouth. He washes it down with beer and more barbeque chips. Those are worth $10 in this little fantasy betting. He points a finger towards you with the same hand that holds his beer, teasing, ā€œYou got all the lights on in there? Or am I boring you?ā€
You glance up at him, fighting a smile. ā€œAll right, keep your pants on. Let me seeā€¦ā€
As the dealer, heā€™s already turned over the River: the last card in the hand. Itā€™s a 10 of Clubs, which means your One Pair is actually a Two Pair. Itā€™s still not a greatĀ hand, but itā€™s decent enough to maybe let you get the best of your opponent.
After you go ā€œall in,ā€ Deanā€™s lips twitch at a smile, and he humors you, going all in as well. Youā€™re on tenterhooks when he finally reveals his hand.
ā€œOoh, it ainā€™t a cheesy ā€˜90s sitcom, but itā€™s stillā€¦a Full House,ā€ he brags as he lays out each card in a smooth line of overlapping cards, the mix of glossy red diamonds and black spades showing the truth. He won again.
You huff in defeat, your shoulders sinking in your seat at the kitchen table. You turn over your measly hand. Sweeping the winnings toward himself (a mound of chocolate covered pretzels, a stack of barbecue chips, and a handful of Oreos), Dean chuckles and tosses you a wink.
ā€œAh, donā€™t beat yourself up, sweetheart. Iā€™ve been hustlinā€™ poker for a long time. Hell, Iā€™ve been playing this game before I even knew my times tables,ā€ he says as he collects the cards.
ā€œThat young?ā€ you reply. ā€œWho taught you?ā€
ā€œMy dad,ā€ he says. ā€œOh, believe me, I used to get my ass kicked many aā€™ time, but by the time I turned sixteen, I was hustlinā€™ grown ass men in skeevy bars out of their daily paycheck.ā€
ā€œYou were hanging out in bars at sixteen?ā€ you ask incredulously. There, Dean seems to realize heā€™s said too much. He becomes more guarded as he puts away the deck and cleans the crumbs off the table.
ā€œMy dad was always working. You could say I didnā€™t really have a curfew,ā€ he says.
ā€œA latchkey kid, huh?ā€ you reply, hiding the way youā€™re trying so hard to glean any more hints of truth between his words.
ā€œHeh, yeah.ā€ He gets up from the table and tosses the breakfast dishes in the sink, then travels to the front door to don his jacket and boots.
ā€œAll right, Iā€™ll be out back,ā€ he says.
Out back, code for out in the shed. You nod, and in a flash, heā€™s shutting the door behind him.
Youā€™ve learned another small tidbit about him, one that feels more important than it seems on the surface. And yet, it only elicits more questions you doubt heā€™ll be willing to answer so easily. Heā€™s more than tight-lipped about his past, only giving vague outlines and general pictures.
Even his storiesā€”like being raised up in a family of traveling mechanics, putting Nair in Samā€™s shampoo when he was a kid, or the guyā€™s serious fear of clownsā€”feel like theyā€™re missing some key details.
You decide to take up your crutches and head for your room. There you unearth the journal from its hiding place under your pillow. This time, you turn to the very beginning. Before all the jargon about mythology (and an odd footnote about a ā€œTurducken Slammerā€), there are actual journal entries. The first one dates back to November 6, 1983. The first line already captures your attention.
I buried my wife today. Even as I write that down, I donā€™t believe it. Last week we were a normal familyā€¦eating dinner, going to Deanā€™s T-ball game, buying toys for baby Sammy. But in an instant, it all changedā€¦ When I try to think back, get it all straight in my headā€¦I feel like Iā€™m going crazy. Like someone ripped both my arms off, plucked my eyes out. Iā€™m wandering around, alone and lost and I canā€™t do anything.
This is Deanā€™s father, you realize. The more that you read, with no small amount of dismay, you also realize that this man is writing about his wife, Mary.
Deanā€™s momā€¦
He writes about their house burning with all their memories inside, along with Mary. Somehow, he saw her pinned bloody to the ceiling.
Along with these pages is a clipping from a news story:
House Fire Kills Mother of Two
Lawrence, Kansas.
Youā€™re spellbound by it all. You keep reading.
November 13, 1983
ā€¦Most of our clothes and photos are ruined, even our safeā€”the safe with Maryā€™s old diaries, the boysā€™ savings bonds, what little jewelry we hadā€¦all gone. How could my house, my whole life, go up like that, so fast, so hot? How could my wife just burn up and disappear?
The police donā€™t believe his story, about how she died before the fire, about what he saw. So he tries to convince himself that what he saw wasnā€™t real. Still, he canā€™t find rest, and he worries about his sonsā€™ safety.
December 4, 1983
I havenā€™t let them out of my sight since the fire. Dean still hardly talks. I try to make small talk, or ask him if he wants to throw the baseball around. Anything to make him feel like a normal kid again. He never budges from my sideā€”or from his brother.
Every morning when I wake up, Dean is inside the crib, arms wrapped around baby Sam. Like heā€™s trying to protect him from whatever is out there in the night.
Sammy cries a lot, wanting his mom. I donā€™t know how to stop it, and part of me doesnā€™t want to. It breaks my heart to think that soon he wonā€™t remember her at all.
You donā€™t realize youā€™re crying until a droplet lands on the page. You quickly wipe it away before it becomes a stain, and you dry it all the way with your breath before you move on to the next page, sniffling. Your heart hurts, even as your guilt grows. You know now that youā€™re really, truly invading Deanā€™s privacy by reading his fatherā€™s words. You just canā€™t stop yourself from turning the next page.
John becomes convinced that someone, or something, started the fire that destroyed his life and took his wife away from him and his sons. He leaves his job and the remnants of that world behind, to venture deeper into the darker one. But in that darkness, he finds truth.
He visits a psychic, Missouri, who leads him back to his house and senses the echoes of an evil presenceā€”something that shakes her to the core, and John too: the creature that killed his wife.
December 20
ā€¦She told me that it was the most powerful, awful thing sheā€™s ever come across.
On January 1, 1984, John makes a New Yearā€™s resolution. He determines to find the answers himself.
A shiver runs down your spine. In Johnā€™s words, your heart breaks for Dean, but you also see yourself. You try not to think about why.
You keep flipping through the rest of the journal past January. There are translations of a Latin exorcism, and like you read before, strange drawing of evil looking creaturesā€”as well as what they are, scraps of their history, and how to kill them.
Silver bullet to the heart, canā€™t withstand iron, salt and burn.
You pause on a certain page, more filled with lore than the rest, and a primitive drawing in the center.
WENDIGO
Cree: Evil that devours.
Wood spirit. Eats live flesh. Lives in forests.
Perfect hunter.
Your breath stills in your lungs as a cold sweat forms across your skin. The more you read, the faster your heart beats.
The crunch of dead leaves. Your father shouting at you to run, and keep running.
The coarse shout of a bear morphs into something other. Itā€™s a sharper, whirring sound like wind howling amidst animalistic clicking, and then bones breakingā€”your fatherā€™s scream cut short. You turn around with your rifle in hand, poised to shoot blindly.
Your stomach churns as bile rises into your throat. You feel sick, and wrong, and you suddenly have the urge to throw the journal against the wall.
ā€œOmega?ā€ calls Deanā€™s sharp voice. ā€œYou okay?ā€
You jolt badly at the sudden noise. You didnā€™t hear him reenter the house. He likely caught the scent of your distress. He pushes the door of your room open to find you, but he stops short in the doorway. His surprise quickly morphs into a frown when he notices what youā€™re holding in your lap.
You gasp, freezing where you sit, but thereā€™s no point in trying to cover up what youā€™ve done. With an angry purse of his lips, he reaches over and takes the journal from your hands.
ā€œWhat the hell are you doing with this?ā€ he demands.
ā€œIā€™mā€¦Iā€™m sorry. I justā€”ā€ You swallow past the lump in your throat. ā€œI was just curious. I wanted to know more about you. I thought it wasā€¦a normal journal.ā€
ā€œSo this is how you go about it, huh? Got everything you wanted, Columbo?ā€ he says, his sarcasm cutting into you. He flips through the journal to make sure all the pages are intact before he tucks the journal under his arm. ā€œSeriously, going into somebodyā€™s stuff? Who the hell raised you?ā€
At that, you begin to bristle.
ā€œMy dad,ā€ you snap back. Though remembering the passages youā€™ve lived with for the past few hours, you soften with a painful twinge of sympathy in your heart.Ā 
ā€œAnd it looks like yours raised you to be some kind ofā€¦well, what are you, a ghostbuster or something?ā€ you ask.
His jaw locks. ā€œOr something.ā€Ā 
With an exasperated sigh at his hedging, you swing your legs around the edge of the bed and haul yourself up with your crutches so you can at least match his stance (more or less).
ā€œDean, please, just talk to me,ā€ you implore, gesturing at the journal tucked under his arm. ā€œThe things I readā€”ā€
ā€œAre none of your goddamn business!ā€ he growls, making the omega inside you cringe. The alphaā€™s voice is deep and sharp, and even though he isnā€™t crowding you, his height and broadness are still intimidating.
ā€œThe sooner you heal up, the sooner I can ship you back to where you belong,ā€ he says. ā€œBack to your life, so you can stop sticking your nose into mine.ā€Ā 
Your mouth actually falls open in shock. His vehement words feel almost as powerful as a physical blow, if to your soul. They make your arms tremble while holding yourself upright on your crutches. Hot tears well up in your eyes, though you try to blink them away. After a moment, youā€™re able to collect yourself enough to speak.
ā€œIā€™m sorry for going through your stuff,ā€ you say, in a quiet voice.
You hobble awkwardly past him out of the room. You donā€™t stop until you reach the front door, where your snow boots are. You manage to get them on by yourself so you can go outside and get some fresh air, not to mention some much needed distance from the alphaā€™s burning presence. You can still feel him trailing behind you. You hear his heavy boots.
ā€œWhere the hell are you going?ā€ he grits out.
You hobble faster.
Dean watches you go out the door without a word in irritation, even though it triggers an alarm deep in his gut every time you leave the safety of the cabin.Ā 
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The snow depth has lightened somewhat since the storm, but itā€™s still not easy to navigate on your crutches. You get some distance from the cabin, mindful not to go too far. You know youā€™re limited, and you didnā€™t even take a gun with you.
Finding a solid tree to lean on, you rest there and try in vain to stifle your tears. You know you were wrong for snooping, and he had a right to be mad, but did he really have to be such a freakinā€™ bear?Ā 
Fucking alphas. I swear.
You thought you were starting to connect with him, but clearly, Dean wants nothing to do with you. He wants you out of his life.Ā 
Does he not feel the same pull you feel to him? Does he really not realizeā€¦that heā€™s meant to be your mate?
You take in a shaky breath through your nose.Ā If he does, apparently he doesnā€™t care.
Just then, you hear the crunch of snow nearby. Twigs snapping.
Your body stiffens with a terrible memoryā€”of that day in the woods. Your breath comes out in short puffs on the cold air, your eyes wide as you listen closely.
Hearing nothing, you allow yourself to breathe a little easier. You venture a few paces forward and to the right, but you stop shy of how it slopes downward. Some unnamed feeling tells you to look over the edge.
You lean over and cast your gaze down the slope, but all you see is snow and trees down below. With a shaky breath, you lean back and look out to the north again. Plodding along the trail, heading towards you, is a bear.
Oh shitā€¦
You remember Dean mentioning something about a bear passing by his cabin a couple of days before the storm. Looks like heā€™s back to make his rounds.
His fur is dark; from this distance, you canā€™t tell if itā€™s a black bear or a grizzly. It doesnā€™t make much difference when all you have on your person is a can of bear spray. His gait is massive, unhurried, but he lets out a braying sound when your gaze meets his, as if acknowledging you. He stops there for a moment, assessing. Your body locks up with fear.
The bear groans again, this time sharper. You finally snap out of your reverie and force your body to move slowly backward with your crutches spearing into the snow. The cabin isnā€™t that far, maybe thirty or forty yards at most. Still, the bear can probably beat you.
Instead of trying to run, you stand your ground and shout at the bear, hoping heā€™ll back off. Your voice dies in your throat when he rears up on his hind legs, with a loud roar. Trembling, you miss a step and get knocked back into the snow on your ass, your crunches falling out at your sides. You scramble inside your jacket for anything that might help you.Ā 
Bear spray!
You hurry to get the cap off with shaking hands, but before you can even aim, the creatureā€™s heave paws thudding into the ground in front of youā€”a gunshot rings out and hits the animal in the chest.Ā 
The bear falters, then roars in pain and anger.
Two more shots finally bring it down to an even heavier thud, not far from your feet.
In this moment, these are the things you donā€™t know about Dean Winchester:
For one, the scent of an omega in distress always calls to an alphaā€™s protective instincts. But the scent of your abject fear feels like someone tried to rip his lungs out through his stomach.
Second, when he sees you there, your wide, shiny eyes filled with the remnants of panic, yet relief at the sight of him, it takes everything within him not to drop to his knees, grab you by the hair, sink his teeth into your neck and claim you, right there in the snow. Maybe then youā€™d start listening to him and stop taking your life into your hands.
Instead, his lips purse as he wracks his rifle and slings the strap of it over his shoulder. He stalks toward you and scoops you up, crutches and all. He brings you back to the cabin without a word.
His jaw is once again locked with silence and strain; he doesnā€™t trust himself to speak until heā€™s brought you inside and carried you over to the chaise. He sits beside you there and takes an inventory of you with his eyes.
ā€œYou okay?ā€ he asks at last.
You manage to meet his gaze and give a little nod.
ā€œOkay. Donā€™t move,ā€ he says shortly. He gets up and goes to the kitchen, where he grabs a foldable set of knives and a cooler from under the sink.
You watch him in silence, and you realize heā€™s going back to gut the bear. You didnā€™t know that he actually huntedĀ out hereā€¦well, hunted to eat. He continues to gather items in silence. It gets to a point where you canā€™t stand it, or his curtness, any longer.
ā€œThank you,ā€ you say, halting his steps. Dean glances at you over his shoulder, then continues strapping up his supplies. He huffs in response.
ā€œWeā€™re gonna be eatinā€™ good for a while,ā€ he says without looking at you.Ā 
His attitude both hurts you and aggravates you, so much that you refuseĀ to take it anymore.Ā 
ā€œLook, Dean. Iā€™m sorry, okay? I shouldnā€™t have butted into your life,ā€ you say. Frustrated tears well up in your eyes. Expelling a sharp sigh, you amend yourself. ā€œIā€™m sorry for invading your privacy. Iā€™m sorry about what you went through, and Iā€™mā€¦Iā€™m sorry about your mom. Iā€™m sorry for today. Iā€™ll justā€¦stay out of your way, and Iā€™ll leave as soon as I can.ā€
Dean finally turns your way, but your lips tremble as you turn your face away from him and shut your eyes tightly against the salty burn of tears. Deep inside, his heart withers in his chest. He sighs and drops his supplies on the couch. He walks over with those heavy boots, and he sits on the edge of the chaise beside you. He hesitates for a moment, but eventually, he rests a warm, calloused hand on your arm and earns your tearful gaze.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m sorry. I, uhā€¦shouldnā€™t have yelled at you,ā€ he says.Ā 
You sniff, quickly wiping away your embarrassing tears as they come. Your cheeks are hot with it.
ā€œWhat is it you wanna know? About me,ā€ he asks, surprising you that much more.
Ā Your mouth parts, but nothing comes out. It takes you some time to think, but the first thing that comes to your mind isā€¦
ā€œEverything in that journal,ā€ you say, licking your dry lips. ā€œIs it real?ā€
Dean holds your gaze steadily. You know the truth without him having to say it, but he does.
ā€œI was a hunter,ā€ he says. ā€œThose things you read about, I found ā€˜em. Killed ā€˜em. It was my job.ā€
ā€œAnd now?ā€ you ask, once that large bit of information has time to set into your brain.
His lips tug at a half smile. ā€œConsider meā€¦mostly retired.ā€
You exhale softly, and you nod. It earns a furrowed look from Dean.
ā€œYou donā€™t seem all that freaked out by this,ā€ he says, with a more scrutinizing gaze on you.
ā€œShould I be?ā€ you say, with an unsteady laugh.
He raises his brows. ā€œIn my experience, yeah.ā€
You chew on the inside of your lip. You donā€™t know if you should even put into words what youā€™ve been holding onto for months. Like John, no one believed you. Even your own mother had started to look at you like you needed a shrink.
ā€œOmega?ā€ Dean presses. His green eyes are perceptive as they take in the conflicted look on your face. ā€œThere something you wanna tell me?ā€
You deliberate for a moment longer. Then, you release a sigh and glance down at your hands clenching in your lap.
ā€œA few months ago, I lost my dad,ā€ you begin.
Dean nods. ā€œYeah, you saidā€”ā€
ā€œI lost him in these woods,ā€ you say.
That quiets the alpha.
You shake your head, and you find your words as the memories that have been haunting your nights return to you.
ā€œLike I said, we used to go hiking here every yearā€¦ā€
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AN:Ā Just so you know, all of the journal entries appear in the official "John's Journal" SPN merch. šŸ˜‰
Next Time:
Unease prickles down your spine, though you donā€™t know why.
ā€œDad?ā€ you whisper-yell, trying not to spook whatever animal might be out there.
A gunshot rings out, along with your dadā€™s voice in a shout. Your eyes widen in alarm, and you call his name louder, taking off in a run to find him.
You end up rising over a hill you hadnā€™t crossed before, but you see your dad below; you recognize his bright blue puffer jacket that Mom got him for his birthday. You call his name, and he looks up at you with fear in his eyes.
Not for himself, but for you.
ā–¶ļø Keep Reading: Part 3
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thesoulthatistainted Ā· 3 days ago
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Now e/riels are crashing out getting mad when we are calling them out literally weaponizing sensitive topics to hate on ships.
Like hello if you don't want to be called toxic and mean then do toxic and mean stuff. These guys are now writing entire thesis to try to justify a fanfic author being bullied and using problematic/hateful stuff (that was literally so hateful on tiktok itselfšŸ˜­) to what? hate on "majority of e/riel shippers" and then went on to say well if you aren't a toxic boy mom then why are you getting mad. So I pointed out how "majority" of the e/riel are exact same and used the same exact thing and she got mad that we were calling them the same thingšŸ˜­
like please take your own advice, if you aren't a toxic boy mom then why are you getting so mad over it??
and my god them trying to justify the bullying
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This is what they think is valid:(this is only tip of the iceberg)
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The sense of entitlement and out of touchness is shocking at this point
If you will weaponize sensitive stuff to hate on shippers or justify bullying. then please don't cry victim when people call you out.
Edit: Within 15 mins of me posting this they made a post about itšŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚(I like the fan/stan behavior, though they completely missed the point so I will block them because honestly they are troll account I shouldn't have taken seriously in the first place like their whole account is them replying the anons that bitch about gwynriel/elucien and they write an entire thesis doing the same but yeah e/riel are showing their true behavior now)
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bubblegumrabbitwriting Ā· 2 days ago
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What would the ROs reaction be to a mc saying "you're mine" šŸ˜­šŸ„°šŸ˜‡
I don't know why it took me so long to write these reactions, but I have literally just been staring at the ask in my inbox for the last two days. I wrote all the reactions with the idea that the MC and RO's have spent a lot of time together but have not officially gotten together, still in the will they, won't they stage.Ā Thank you for the ask, and I hope you enjoy it.
Echo -
Echo stops, gaze locked on your face, a steady blush growing across the bridge of her nose and cheeks. She seems to snap out of her thoughts, rocketing forwards and burying her face in the crook of your neck, peppering light kisses. "Only if you will also be mine."
Cy -
A bright smile splits Cy's face as they tilt their head at you. "Did you only just figure that out?" They let out a small hum from their throat as their arms circle you, and hold you tight. "It's still nice to hear it, though."
A -
A lets out a purr from deep within their throat. "Am I now?" They lean closer to you, their body pushed against yours. "How are we going to show it, a ring, or what about matching tattoos? Or maybe we could do a leash and collar?" They flutter their eyelashes at you with a mock innocent look as you feel heat crawl up your neck.
Salem -
She turns to look at you, both surprised and curious. Before you could expand on the statement that seemed to escape your lips before you could stop it, she placed her hand on the wall behind you, leaning close. "And you mine." She captures your lips with a soft kiss, full of the promise of more when you're both alone.
Harper -
They let out a surprised squeak before turning to you with slightly watery eyes and a dopey grin. "R-really, do you mean that?" They speak low, almost a whisper, with hope woven into every word. After another confirmation, they are clinging to your arm for the rest of the day and definitely not imagining a wedding in their head the whole time.
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deathsbestgirl Ā· 8 months ago
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i was obnoxious on twitter so i thought i'd share. please take it with a grain of salt but also please listen to dana katherine scully
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sof1eee Ā· 3 days ago
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WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ PLEASE DON'T EVER FUCKING REBLOGGED MY POST AGAIN, I DO NOT STAND FOR SANGWOO AND BERTHOLDT SLANDER????
all of the things you said is so wrong? WDYM HE WAS READY TO BETRAY AND KILL REINER????? SINCE WHEN???? HE LITERALLY WAS SUPPOSED TO TRANSFORM AND NUKE THE WHOLE TOWN BUT STOPPED BECAUSE HE SAW REINER WAS INJURED AND ON THE BRINK OF DEATH? HE LITERALLY TOLD REINER THAT IF HE CAN MOVE BECAUSE IF HE DOESN'T HE'S GONNA GET NUKED ALSO????? AND ABOUT SANGWOO???? I'M NOT GONNA EXPLAIN EVERYTHING HERE BECAUSE I ACTUALLY WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF MAKING A POST DEFENDING SANGWOO
TL;DR: What u said was absolutely stupid and I'm convinced you watched both of the shows with your eyes closed! šŸ’•
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If i get a nickel for everytime i like a complex and good written character that are overhated and underrated in their own fandom, I'll have 2 nickels, which isn't alot, but it's weird that it happened twice šŸ’”
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pass3ra Ā· 7 months ago
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cressida's storyline was genuinely shameful tbhhh it's like they started rewriting it in the first half of the season then completely forgot about the changes they'd made to make it fit the book plot and it just ends up making everyone else look badšŸ˜ every character in the second half got a "penelope did nothing wrong" lobotomy so we ended up with eloise completely ignoring cressida being sold off to an horrible man (when she made every effort to support her in the first half of the season) and for some reason resenting her for pretending to be lady whistledown? Then they somehow frame her ignoring colin's offensively bad pleas as it being her turning away from redemption when all she's trying to do is escape being trapped in the country with her likely abusive aunt... and it ends with her meeting her horrible fate and it still being framed as tragic only to immediately juxtapose it with the bridgerton family winning the idgaf war while gleefully seeing off francesca and her future dead husband. The bridgertons were the villains of the season frfr
#bridgerton#almost as bad as marina's plot in season one. every horrible decision in this show revolves around penelope meeting no consequences ever#this is not an anti post or anything idc about the fandom ill forget about this show tomorrow but i need to get this off my chest#they had to give penelope a fairy tale ending WHICH IS FINE but they somehow did it by surgically removing everyone's personality#INCLUDING HERS#benedict's bi storyline was bad also im sorry. paul literally has like 4 lines of dialogue and he was really cool#i love tilley but she should have been cutšŸ˜­ if they wanted to establish he was bi (given we know theyre not genderbending sophie)#they should have made the whole subplot about him being attracted to a man instead of a 5 minute footnote in the last episode#i liked francesca and her husband whose name idr but it felt like they were framing it as him not being her 'great love'#considering what happens to him i fjnd it childish and meanspirited soul mates aren't real and he deserves a lttl respect considering.. lmao#what else. the dialogues were horrible. especially the ones between penelope and colin in the second part im sorry#they need to fire the make up and hair department. every reference to queen charlotte felt like a wahh pls watch my show ad#i miss anthony they should change the books to make him the villain of every season bb please come back to ruin your sibilings relationships#portia and philippa were peak as always. violet deserves her own season. we need to put eloise out of her misery pls leave her in scotland#rant overrr#publishing it on my sideblog actually i feel like im gonna lose followers just for having watched this show lmaoo
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girl-bateman Ā· 1 year ago
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How does one get assigned as sam coded / dean coded ? Do I need a doctors note ? A psych evaluation perhaps ?
#i keep going back and forth on it#bc i used to identify with dean for the longest time bc i was so repressed and emotionally closed off (+older sister)#and at that point id spent my youth very purposefully protecting my younger sibling from our dad#and i guess in my brain i paralleled that with dean staying behind with john while sam took off for stanford#and dean protecting sam from knowing too much abt the supernatural#BUT having grown up ive now become the one resentful and angry at our father while my sister protects him#and our fights remind me a lot of scenes from the show where im obviously identifying a lot stronger with sam#plus the whole thing abt being the families designated academic or whatever#while also feeling cursed from the minute i was born and crushing at the guilt of everything wrong with me#and trying to be a good person and saving others to make for the fact that i feel an intrinsic evilness about myself#so like... yeah sam is very very relatable too in that sense#bc he also has that hope in him- the belief in god. in angels. in goodness. and i have that too !#im just also a miserable cynic at the same time :)#so ????#i havent been in the fandom for long enough to know the full requirements of being a sam or dean girl#(and by that i mean i havent been in the fandom for long AFTER i rejoined from my 10 year hiatus)#i literally would love to read someones page long explanation of what sam coded vs dean coded entails#someone with a spn hyperfixation or special interest needs to provide me with the goods fr šŸ˜­#spn
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trahoalai Ā· 1 month ago
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everyday I bust my ass to get to music class on time and everyday I show up to a music class that looks like this
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gu6chan Ā· 2 months ago
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People will be like "idc who you are, seriously block me if you do/support x" and then i block them and they react like this everytime
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#gu6chan's musings#normally im not so pissed off about it but this fuckin dude; man#i admit i didn't like a lot about their philosophy on things and in retrospect it should've been a red flag#but they weren't like.... a BAD person. i just figured they had some issues to work through or something and just chatted when they wanted#then they follow me here and it's like šŸ˜­ do they know im a marxist. bc they were having WHOLE fits like 'if you're voting third party or#not voting at all you're just LARPing a revolution; you're going to be the downfall of this country get off my fucking blog if you aren't#voting blue' and i was like 'holy SHIT those are some strong opinions what the hell'#like ive seen people SETTLE for kamala??? but this was the first time ive seen anyone actively try and PROMOTE her like wtf#but anyways i shrug it off; think maybe they're just having a bad time till after election where they're having a whole meltdown like#'FUCK YOU THIRD PARTY VOTERS/PPL WHO DIDN'T VOTE; WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS WILL DO FOR PALESTINE' and im like#are you forgetting all the arab families who were completely crushed by fucking harris REFUSING to take a stance on palestine and refusing#to vote for her in turn??? those who scraped together just ENOUGH faith in the system to vote third party?????#THE FUCKING PLFP ITSELF SAYING 'BOYCOTT THE ELECTION'????? dude. they were blaming it ENTIRELY on#'leftists just wanting to show off moral superiority and wanting to larp a revolution' as opposed to like.... literally anything else and#im just#'damn okay. you get what you asked for ig' and blocked them lmao#they just now found out apparently bc they tried friend rqing on discord and I'm like#'hmmmm were you just not serious when you were saying that shit or did you not know what words actually mean'#anyways i hate that it turned out like this bc i thought they were at least interesting but talk shit get hit or whatever they say lmao
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lamentationsofalonelypotato Ā· 2 days ago
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@zepskies
Jumping right back in to part 3!
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Accurate depiction of me knowing what's about to happen to the readers dad. šŸ‘†šŸ»šŸ‘†šŸ»šŸ‘†šŸ»šŸ‘†šŸ»šŸ‘†šŸ»šŸ‘†šŸ»
And:
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ā€œGo, get out of here!ā€ he shouts and waves you off. ā€œWhat? What is it?!ā€ you yell. He shakes his head, like heā€™s unable to answer your question. ā€œRun!Ā Run and donā€™t stop!ā€
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ā€œSo thereā€™s a chance he could still be alive,ā€ you say, in a brighter voice.Ā Dean gives you a measured look, dragging a hand over his mouth. ā€œLook, Iā€™m gonna be straight with you,ā€ he says. ā€œItā€™s been months, right?ā€ You nod, though you realize what heā€™s saying. Donā€™t get your hopes up.
I won't get my hopes up. I will be just as devastated now as when I find out that he is gone for good. šŸ˜­
Also I love that you said her mother refused to "entertain anything else" because Dean's job description is literally "anything else" lol. And it really is a wonderful thing (not wonderful like good but you know what I mean) that Dean and the reader can further connect on. Her knowing what Dean really did for a living and him being brave enough to risk his life on the possibility of "a chance."
ā€œI appreciate the thought, but trust me. Iā€™d rather you look out for you,ā€ he says.
It's too late for that kind of talk sexy mountain man. You're stuck with her and she is not going to let you go that easy.
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Am I trying to hide my emotions over Dean going into the wilderness alone to face a wendigo with humor? Yes, yes I am.
You try to fill up your time in other ways, like attempting, and failing, and trying again more successfully to make bread from scratch. You havenā€™t binge-watched every season of The Great British Bake-OffĀ for nothing.
It's a whole vibe šŸž
Side note: I did have to look up what nesting was in the A/B/O universe, but that is so cute. šŸ˜­
After you manage to clamber back onto your feet using the crutches, you put together some supplies, including the extra med kit in case heā€™s hurt. (Or in case something happens to you while youā€™re out there.)Ā This is a bad idea, you think, even as you heave on your jacket. Then, you hear the sound of a lock turning, before the front door shoves open.Ā 
Oh goodness, yes it was a bad idea and I am so happy that Dean showed up when he did, because my anxiety for this reader was THROUGH THE ROOF. I mean yes, go get your man, but gurl please it's snowing and you've got a broken ankle. At least catch a bear or something to pull you on a sleigh lol. šŸ¤£
Your lips tremble. As that horrible realization dawns, you break down into tears. You already know from his tone that your father was dead when he found him.Ā  Dean guides you down to him by your shoulder and wraps his arms around you. You bury your face into his neck, and your body shakes with quiet sobs.
See this is why I don't get my hopes up because OH MY SWEET GOODNESS I'M CRYING šŸ˜­ But at least Dean is there now to wipe away her tears. AND my tears will soon be dried with the fires of their passion so... LOL šŸ˜‚
He finally drags you to him in a kiss.Ā  Itā€™s heady and passionate, and also comforting. Your fingers wind into his hair, your nails scraping along his scalp. He growls as his arm tightens around your waist.Ā You shiver in delight.
See I feel better already šŸ„°
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ā€œDo you know what your scent is to me?ā€ you ask, in a voice slightly trembling. You glance at the fireplace that has dimmed to embers. ā€œItā€™s better than that fire at full blaze. Every time I went camping with my dad, thatā€™s what I loved the most. Sitting by that fire, talking, laughing, and for the millionthĀ time, telling the story of when I gave my sister micro bangs in her sleep when I was ten.ā€
This is such a wonderful comparison to what it's like being around him for the reader. It holds the warmth and the feeling of home whenever you read it. I love it.
And also you know how much I love the continuing idea of Dean thinking that he's not enough and that the reader would never like him. I know that I always point it out when I read something of yours, but it really always fits him and you write it so well my friend šŸ’š
ā€œLookā€¦even if thatā€™s true, you donā€™t want this with me,ā€ he says. His handsome face becomes marred by a frown, his brows knitting together. ā€œI donā€™t even own this place. Besides my car, I ainā€™t got much of anything to give.ā€
I also love this bit, because Dean reduces himself to physical wealth here rather than seeing all the wonderful qualities of himself that we all love being something that he can give the reader. It really makes their connection all the more loving and real, because the reader isn't asking for Dean to give her things or to be rich, she's just asking FOR Dean. And I think it will be a beautiful and wonderful thing when he realizes that.
This chapter was so wonderful Alex! I loved every heart wrenching bit and I can't wait to read the next one my wonderful friend! ā¤ļø
Against the Wind - Part 3
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Pairing:Ā Alpha!Dean Winchester x F. Omega!ReaderĀ 
Summary: You wake up in a strange alphaā€™s cabin in the middle of a snowstorm, all with a busted ankle. He holds shadows in his eyes, even though his hands are gentle. There are iron shutters around his heart, even though he saved you. You might just save him in return.
AN:Ā Merry Christmas! I'm dropping this chapter a day early for you guys. Now, here's the full story, and what Dean is going to do about itā€¦
Jacklesverse Bingo24 Prompt: True Mates @jacklesversebingo
Song Inspo:Ā ā€œAgainst the Windā€ by Bob Seger
Word Count: 3.8K
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only. Angst, mentions of blood, hint of spice.~
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Part 3: Nothing Left to Burn
ā€œWe should start heading back,ā€ you say, looking up at the mid-afternoon sky. It was starting to dip toward the top of the trees in the distance. ā€œItā€™s going to take a couple of hours to get back before nightfall.ā€
ā€œYep, itā€™s about that time.ā€ Your dad groans as he starts to haul himself back to his feet, where you two had been taking a rest against a tree. ā€œJesus, I need a new pair of knees. Help your old man, would ya?ā€
You smirk as you help the middle-aged alpha to his feet. His joints pop and his back cracks as he stretches his arms high.
ā€œDamn, Dad. Youā€™re creakier than the trees,ā€ you quip.
He tosses you a wry look. ā€œJust you wait. In a few years, after wrangling a couple of pups, youā€™re gonna feel my pain.ā€
ā€œA few years?ā€ you laugh. ā€œDid I miss the part where I actually met a decent guy, let alone one worth mating?ā€
ā€œOh, youā€™ll find him,ā€ your dad nods, slinging his rifle back over his shoulder. ā€œOr heā€™ll find you, like your mother did with me.ā€
You follow his lead with your own rifle, falling into step with him through the forest clearing. Itā€™s a beautiful day in late November. Already you can see the edge of frost on the shrubs and half-barren trees. The ground is littered with dead leaves painted in browns, oranges, and dappled with reds.
ā€œYou met her in college. Itā€™s not like you guys defied fate,ā€ you say.
ā€œYeah, but if she hadnā€™t walked into my psychology class by mistake, and stolen my latte at the campus cafĆ©, maybe you wouldnā€™t be here,ā€ he teases.Ā 
You huff and roll your eyes. Yes, your parents are a walking clichĆ©. And by far, your dadā€™s the bigger sap.
ā€œIā€™m telling you. Sometimes, the universe does us a solid,ā€ he says, reinforcing his point with a literal pointed finger your way. You push it away from your face in exasperation.
ā€œYou might wanna watch where youā€™re going,ā€ you say, ā€œbefore you roll your ankle on another pebble.ā€
ā€œYou kidding me?ā€ he exclaims. ā€œThat thing was the size of my fist! Youā€™re lucky I didnā€™t break an ankle. Make you carry me all the way back to the car.ā€
You snort. ā€œRight. Think Iā€™ll just leave you for the bearsā€¦ā€
You trail off when a sound reaches you and your father. The sound of leaves crunching in the underbrush, quick and light. Your fatherā€™s shoulders straighten with alertness, the alphaā€™s head cocking toward the sound.
ā€œMaybe I spoke too soon about the bears,ā€ you whisper. He shakes his head.
ā€œNah, too light. Itā€™s probably an elk.ā€ He tosses you a smile. ā€œWeā€™ll have one hell of a haul to bring home, plus a good story to tell your mom.ā€
Your mother, the vegan veterinarian?
ā€œYeah, because she loves elk meat.ā€
ā€œWould you quit being a smartass for two minutes? You go a little west. Iā€™ll see where itā€™s at,ā€ he says.
He quietly wracks his rifle and steps away from the clearing, farther into the woods. You do what he says, veering west. You donā€™t see the elk, and soon enough, you donā€™t see your dad either. You do hear a whistling on the wind, and the cold of it cuts right through your coat.
Unease prickles down your spine, though you donā€™t know why.
ā€œDad?ā€ you whisper-yell, trying not to spook whatever animal might be out there.
A gunshot rings out, along with your dadā€™s voice in a shout. Your eyes widen in alarm, and you call his name, taking off in a run to find him.
You end up rising over a hill you hadnā€™t crossed before, but you see your dad below; you recognize his bright blue puffer jacket that Mom got him for his birthday. You call his name, and he looks up at you with fear in his eyes.
Not for himself, but for you.
ā€œGo, get out of here!ā€ he shouts and waves you off.
ā€œWhat? What is it?!ā€ you yell.
He shakes his head, like heā€™s unable to answer your question. ā€œRun!Ā Run and donā€™t stop!ā€
He moves further into the denser trees until you can no longer make him out. With a frustrated huff, you sprint down the hill and try to follow his tracks with your gun at the ready. On the wind, in the distance, you still hear his voice.
Until it cuts off abruptly, along with the terrible cracking of bone.
You gasp and halt in your steps. What the fuck was that?
Tears fill your eyes and blur your vision. Despite what you heard, you realize just how very alone you are in the clearing. Fear and adrenaline make your breath tremulous and shallow, but you canā€™t just give up. You search for a while longer, making yourself hoarse calling out to your father.
No matter what direction you take, you never find him.
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ā€œI ran back to town to get the rangers,ā€ you say, brushing a couple of stray tears from your cheeks. You sniff, licking your lips and swallowing a hard lump of emotion in your throat.
Dean continues to listen intently with his brows furrowed.
ā€œIt was too late,ā€ you sigh. ā€œHe disappeared. They explained it away, thought a grizzly bear got him, but I know it wasnā€™t a damn bear.ā€Ā 
You shake your head as the tears come harder and faster, all over again. Deanā€™s jaw clenches in sympathy.
ā€œNo one believed me about what I heard, not even my mom,ā€ you confess. Your mother had been too distraught to entertain ā€œanything else.ā€ No matter how strongly youā€™d felt about your suspicions, you understood that she just wanted to put your fatherā€™s death behind her after his funeral. Part of you had stopped believing yourself.Ā 
A stronger part of you hadnā€™t been able to let it go, however. So you had to come back here and try to find any trace of your father.Ā 
When you finally run out of words, you see the proverbial gears turning in Deanā€™s eyes.Ā 
ā€œWhatā€™re you thinking?ā€ you hazard to ask. You canā€™t help but reach out and grab at his wrist. ā€œDo youā€¦do you believe me?ā€
Deanā€™s gaze softens a fraction. He lays his larger hand over yours.
ā€œYeah, I do,ā€ he says. ā€œIā€™m willing to bet on what took him too.ā€
He squeezes your hand before he lets you go and gets up from his seat. He soon returns with his fatherā€™s journal in hand. He reclaims his spot across from you, sitting close to your thigh on the end of the chaise. His gaze falls away from your face to the journal in hand, and he flips it open to a page he knows from memory. You suck in a subtle breath to steel yourself when he turns it toward youā€”to the very page that had given you nightmares the first night you read it.Ā 
Wendigo.Ā 
ā€œNasty son of a bitch,ā€ he says. ā€œIt hibernates for decades at a time, but when it surfaces, it knows how to get through long winters like this. It takes a handful of people at a time, feeding on its victims slow.ā€
You feel sick at that, but still, his words elicit a sliver of hope.
ā€œSo thereā€™s a chance he could still be alive,ā€ you say, in a brighter voice.Ā Dean gives you a measured look, dragging a hand over his mouth.
ā€œLook, Iā€™m gonna be straight with you,ā€ he says. ā€œItā€™s been months, right?ā€
You nod, though you realize what heā€™s saying. Donā€™t get your hopes up.
ā€œBut thereā€™s a chance,ā€ you insist, with tears in your eyes. Dean holds your gaze for a moment, and he nods. He squeezes your knee this time, then shuts the journal with one hand as he moves to stand.
You follow him on your crutches over to the kitchen. He pulls out a drawer and retrieves a folded-up map. Tossing the journal on the kitchen counter, he opens up the map and lays it out flat next to the sink. Itā€™s a map of the mountain, and the entire forest surrounding the mountain of Big Sky. Deanā€™s eyes flick up to yours.
ā€œWhere did it happen?ā€
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Dean has packed up his supplies and put on his winter gear. You watch him from the living room sofa, trying to hide your unease. You know heā€™s doing this for you, but thereā€™s part of you that doesnā€™t want to see him leave, for his own sake, and selfishly for yours.
ā€œTry not to go outside again unless you absolutely frigginā€™ have to,ā€ he warns. ā€œAnd if you do, donā€™t go too far. Make sure you take a weapon, preferably a gun andĀ a knife.ā€
ā€œDean, I know,ā€ you reply. You get up and hover by the couch while he finishes lacing his snowshoes and hooks his backpack on. Youā€™re unable to hide your concern.
ā€œYou shouldnā€™t be going out there alone,ā€ you say.Ā 
Dean tosses you a grin. It has the shade of how he was with you before the ā€œjournalā€ incidentā€”self-assured, a hint teasing.
ā€œDonā€™t worry. This isnā€™t exactly my first solo mission,ā€ he says, though his devil-may-care attitude soon subsides into something more serious. ā€œIf Iā€™m not back inside a week, you need to ration out the supplies here as best you can. That new meat in the fridge should last you a while.ā€
By new meat, you have to assume he means the bear.
ā€œWhen youā€™re healed up, you can make your way down the mountain and back to town with that map I left for you. Kitchen counter,ā€ he says.
Your frown worsens. You step closer to him with the pretense of closing and locking the front door for him after he leaves.
ā€œDean,ā€ you say, stopping him at the door. He turns to look at you over his shoulder. You hesitate, fidgeting slightly, but you gain your courage.
ā€œIf you donā€™t come back, Iā€™m going to find you,ā€ you warn him.
Dean frowns. He turns to you fully and tilts his head as if to say, come again?
ā€œNo, youā€™re not, Omega. You understand me?ā€
His terseness doesnā€™t scare you anymore. You glare up at him, quite literally standing your ground.
ā€œYou didnā€™t leave meĀ out there when you didnā€™t even know me. You think Iā€™d do that to you?ā€ you counter.
At that, Dean has to pause, tilting his head slightly. He almost smiles at your stubbornness, and just like that, his annoyance dissipates. It softens him, making him reach for your arm in an assuring squeeze.
ā€œI appreciate the thought, but trust me. Iā€™d rather you look out for you,ā€ he says.
Right now, you donā€™t really give a shit about what heā€™d rather, but you donā€™t say so. Itā€™s written across your face anyway. Deanā€™s mouth tugs at a smile.
ā€œAll right, Iā€™m out,ā€ he says. ā€œSave me some of Yogi in there.ā€
You huff, but you shut the door behind him after he steps out onto the porch, down the steps, and beyond. You move to the living room window and watch him get farther and farther away from the cabin.Ā 
Despite the crackling fireplace, you begin to feel cold inside.Ā 
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After the first three days, youā€™ve managed to clean the entire cabin, top to bottom. With the ā€œnew meat,ā€ you make a large batch of soup to last you throughout the week. You freeze a couple of servings for Dean.
For when he gets back.Ā 
You try to fill up your time in other ways, like attempting, and failing, and trying again more successfully to make bread from scratch. You havenā€™t binge-watched every season of The Great British Bake-OffĀ for nothing.
Then you organize all of the alphaā€™s books by author. You wash all the laundry you can find and fold everything neatly on his bed, and you put away the couple of sweaters youā€™ve borrowed from him into your own dresser.Ā 
On Day Four, you create a nest of pillows and blankets in the middle of the living room floor. In your anxiety, itā€™s a reflex you canā€™t help. Your initial instinct was to nest in his room, but you thought that was too invasive of his privacy, so the living room was your next best option. At least his scent is still somewhat imbued into his favorite chair, and around his records. (You do steal another shirt of his to sleep with though.)
On Day 8, your worry becomes a living thing. You pace the living room and the kitchen on your crutches, probably wearing down the wooden ends of them while you debate what to do. Despite what Dean told you to do if he didnā€™t get back, you know youā€™re not just going to leave him out there. But the reality is, you have a problem of mobility.
With a frustrated huff, you decide to try setting your problem foot down normally. Your ankle hurts, a sharp pain shooting up your calf and nearly sending you to the floor.
ā€œFuck!ā€ you gasp, both in shock and aggravation.
You know this isnā€™t just a sprain. At best it could be a fracture, since no bone is protruding under the skin. It still means you shouldnā€™t go after him either.Ā 
But youā€™ll have to try.Ā 
After you manage to clamber back onto your feet using the crutches, you put together some supplies, including the extra med kit in case heā€™s hurt. (Or in case something happens to you while youā€™re out there.)Ā This is a bad idea, you think, even as you heave on your jacket.
Then, you hear the sound of a lock turning, before the front door shoves open.Ā 
A yelp of surprise escapes you, though you soon realize that itā€™s Dean, looking worn down and ragged, but alive.Ā 
ā€œHome, sweet home,ā€ he says wryly, but he looks relieved to see you too.
You help him sink down onto the chaise, where he stretches out with a groan. He tips his head back on the cushion. His jacket is torn in a few places. Blood has dried on his cheek, his neck, and near his hairline, and you worry about where else he might be hurt.Ā 
You quickly go to the kitchen and pour a bowl of warm water and grab a hand towel. You bring it all back to Dean, where you set your supplies on the floor and sit down beside him on the cushion.
ā€œAre you okay?ā€ You try to calm down your racing heart (and the nauseous feeling in your stomach) as you help him work open his jacket, followed by his shirt. Discreetly, your eyes take in the expanse of his tanned skin and pebbling nipples exposed to the cool air, even with the fire roaring nearby.
ā€œYeah, just peachy,ā€ he says.Ā 
You smile a little. You take the towel, dampen it, and begin to clear the blood from his cheek, his neck, and the upper part of his torsoā€”even his scuffed hands.Ā Then you squeegee out the blood in the bowl and continue your task. Dean subtly watches you, his gaze a bit softer than usual.
He eventually looks you over with a frown as he takes in the way youā€™re dressed, and then the backpack by the door.Ā 
ā€œWhat, about to go for a little afternoon stroll?ā€ His sarcasm turns to annoyance. ā€œDidnā€™t I tell you to stay put until you can actually walk?ā€
Your mouth flattens into a line, but any anger you mightā€™ve felt is waylaid by your relief. It brings tears to your eyes.Ā 
ā€œI thought something happened to you,ā€ you say.
Dean hesitates. Your hand has stilled on his chest. He softens a little more, grasping your hand in his larger one.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m fine,ā€ he says. ā€œThe jobā€™s done.ā€
Your eyes widen. ā€œYou found theā€¦thing? The wendigo?ā€
His mouth pulls at a cocky grin, tempered only by his tiredness, and the way heā€™s looking at you. ā€œSure did. Tried to take a chunk outta my ass, but a little aerosol deodorant and a lighterā€™s all you need to barbecue that ugly son of a bitch.ā€
You smile in amusement, but all too soon, it fades.
ā€œDid you find my dad?ā€ you ask.
Deanā€™s expression sobers as well.
ā€œYeah, I think so.ā€ His face gentles. ā€œWas he wearing a blue puffer jacket?ā€
Your lips tremble. As that horrible realization dawns, you break down into tears. You already know from his tone that your father was dead when he found him.Ā 
Dean guides you down to him by your shoulder and wraps his arms around you. You bury your face into his neck, and your body shakes with quiet sobs.
ā€œIā€™m sorry, sweetheart,ā€ he murmurs into your hair. ā€œBelieve me, I am.ā€
He holds you close, warm and secure. He allows you to stay there as long as you need, where you feel safe, even if this world has become a colder, darker place.Ā 
After a few minutes longer, your intense sobs begin to subside. You donā€™t mean to, but you turn your nose into Deanā€™s neck, scenting him on reflex. It calms you down, but it has the unintended effect of arousing him. The alpha rumbles in pleasure.Ā 
You blink in surprise and lean back enough to see his face. Deanā€™s lips press together as he looks down on you; he seems embarrassed, but you also see the heat reflected in his gaze, so intense in those forest greens.Ā Your face begins to warm in a blush.
He brushes your cheek with his thumb, collecting your tears there. You glance down at his plush lips again, your own parting with a breath. His hand moves to cup your cheek, framing the side of your face. Pleaseā€¦
He finally drags you to him in a kiss.Ā 
Itā€™s heady and passionate, and also comforting. Your fingers wind into his hair, your nails scraping along his scalp. He growls as his arm tightens around your waist.Ā You shiver in delight.
You press a hand to the center of his chest, giving you leverage to rise up and slide your thigh over his legs. There you sink into his lap. Your breasts pillow against his chest when you lay on top of him, your elbows digging into the cushion on either side of his head. His hands move down your body, feeling down your sides, squeezing your hips, and then your ass. You hum into his mouth and roll your hips into his. Already you feel him hardening through his jeans.Ā Ā 
But somehow he breaks away from your kiss, even though your hands are still in his hair.Ā 
ā€œSorryā€¦we canā€™t do this,ā€ he says, with difficulty.
He sits upright and nearly makes you fall over in the process. He grabs your arm before you tip over, but he keeps himself at armā€™s length from you after youā€™re forced to slide off his lap, sitting on the end of the chaise instead.Ā Your eyes glisten with hurt and confusion.Ā 
ā€œWhy?ā€ is all you can ask.
He doesnā€™t want to answer.Ā 
ā€œDean?ā€ you ask, inching towards him. He raises a hand to keep you at bay.
ā€œJustā€¦itā€™s not a good idea, okay?ā€ he says, with the clenching of his jaw.
That cuts into you even more. Your heart pulses with pain.
ā€œDo you know what your scent is to me?ā€ you ask, in a voice slightly trembling. You glance at the fireplace that has dimmed to embers. ā€œItā€™s better than that fire at full blaze. Every time I went camping with my dad, thatā€™s what I loved the most. Sitting by that fire, talking, laughing, and for the millionthĀ time, telling the story of when I gave my sister micro bangs in her sleep when I was ten.ā€
You wipe a stray tear from your eye, but you respect the distance heā€™s put between you two.
ā€œThe second I met you, I knew what this was,ā€ you say. ā€œI think you know it too.ā€
Dean shakes his head. His face betrays his wariness, his desire, and his obstinance.Ā 
ā€œLookā€¦even if thatā€™s true, you donā€™t want this with me,ā€ he says. His handsome face becomes marred by a frown, his brows knitting together. ā€œI donā€™t even own this place. Besides my car, I ainā€™t got much of anything to give.ā€
You shake your head in dismay. ā€œI know thatā€™s not true.ā€
ā€œIā€™m not bullshitting,ā€ he says. ā€œListenā€¦Iā€™ve never had much. And what I did have, I found a way to lose. Iā€™ve let my people down. Just about everyone Iā€™ve everā€¦ā€
You canā€™t help but reach out a hand for him, your heart hurting, but he leans away, pressing himself back against the seat.Ā It cuts even deeper into you; now though, you wonder if itā€™s because he feels the same gut feeling you do when heā€™s this closeā€”close enough to touch, but almost afraid of the burn.
ā€œTheyā€™ve been hurt, almost always because of me.ā€ His voice shakes imperceptibly, with a wry, humorless turn of his lips. ā€œSo take it from me, sweetheart. Youā€™ll wanna steer clear.ā€Ā Ā 
ā€œDean,ā€ you say. You expel a breath, digesting his words, while thinking of what you want to say.
ā€œIā€™ve never not felt safe with you,ā€ you confess. ā€œEven when I screwed up and drove you crazy, Iā€™m sure, I knew youā€™d never hurt me. The same way I knowā€¦ā€
You reach out a tentative hand to lay in the center of his chest, over his heart. Your thumb brushes the edge of his strange tattoo, over the dark ink in his skin.Ā 
ā€œYouā€™re my mate. My one, true mateĀ in this world,ā€ you say, meeting his eyes. ā€œAnd I want to know you.ā€
You see inner conflict in the depths of Deanā€™s eyes, dark green and troubled. You take a chance and lean in, brushing your cheek against his, nuzzling, laying a soft kiss to his cheek.Ā 
ā€œOmega,ā€ he warns, but the grit in his voice has little heat.
Or at least, itā€™s heat of a different kind, as his strong hands once again find your waist. They hold you still, but also hold you toĀ him. Your gentle affection is making him ache, deep in the shadowy cavern of his chest. Heā€™d never admit it, but loneliness had set in there, burrowed deep with a stronghold on his heart. Without knowing, youā€™ve been carving it out with those gentle hands.Ā 
You now slide your hands up his chest and over his shoulders, warm palms on his skin.Ā 
ā€œAlpha, I want to know you,ā€ you insist. Quiet, but steady, your voice is a mere brush of words near his ear, against his cheek. ā€œPlease.ā€Ā 
Deanā€™s brows furrow as he briefly shuts his eyes tight. With your whispered plea, the brittle chain of his restraint finally snaps free.Ā 
He cradles the back of your head and guides you back into a feverish kiss.
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AN:Ā Sorry to cut it off there lol, but the big (steamy) finale is coming up next week! Perhaps a little earlier than Friday. šŸ˜˜
Next Time:
ā€œWere you nesting, Omega?ā€ he teases, between the sinful meetings of his lips with yours. You hum your affirmation before his tongue swipes across your lower lip, seeking entrance.
You open yourself to him in more ways than one; you slip your hands across his naked shoulders and explore the smooth planes of muscle, the dips and softness in between. You encourage him to lower down, to cover you with the length and broadness of his frame. His weight is a welcome one between your thighs and against the softness of your body.
ā€œWas worried about you,ā€ you whisper a confession against his lips. Dean briefly pauses, meeting your eyes.
ā€œThanks for waiting up,ā€ he says, with a hint of a smile.
Your lips curve upwards in return.
ā–¶ļø Keep reading: Part 4 (Finale!)
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the worst part of break is the last day when you're just drowning in stress thinking about going back. i feel literally physically nauseous
#the stupidest part is that i'm so fucking stressed mostly about my fucking FILM class#more than any of my honors courses#i haven't done enough work in it at all and i'm so embarrassed about it so i don't want to start working on it and show how little i have#done so i get even more behind#i have a film i have to make and it's only half done and now i can't fucking find it in my files cuz i'd planned on working on it this brea#but i got sick and wasted 4 days of my already stupidly short break#i have TWO whole presentations on an actor and a director and i don't CARE or know about any actors or directors#i just feel sick#i wish i could drop it or just fucking fail it but i can't#it's so so stupid#i'm never gonna be able to take another class with that teacher from the fucking shame i feel actually horrible every time i go in her clas#and the worst part is that it's literally my fault i could have just done the fucking work and i didn't#kiwifae says shit#ugh okay this made me feel better i need to just figure out my actor director presentations (which are my fucking final btw šŸ˜­)#i accept the shit grade i'm getting on the film i can fix it if i make decent presentations i'm just mad i'm doing bad and getting so#stressed over a dumbass extra class like film production like what#i still don't think i can take another class with her she's really pleasant but i just feel so so sick whenever i go in there cuz i feel so#guilty#which is a shame cuz she teaches photography which i would really like to take#maybe senior year idk i might not care anymore then#also i'm aware this isn't a normal amount of shame and anxiety just for procrastinating i just feel super bad abt this for some reason#sorry for ranting but i'm just blehhhhhhh rn#ok i'm gonna get something to eat and take a shower maybe i'll feel less like i'm dying#šŸ‘
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dazais-guardian-angel Ā· 2 years ago
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never forget what they took from you
#i'm so mad guys I'M SO MAD#BONES WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK HOW COULD YOU CUT THE PANEL OF ANGO AT ODA'S GRAVE????????#the other two are negligible even though i was dying to see Ango's gentle smile and smol emozai#but i could begrudgingly accept them being gone#but THE GRAVE FLASHBACK??? IT'S ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PANELS IN THE WHOLE MANGA#IT SAYS SO MUCH ABOUT ANGO AND HOW MUCH HE CARES#IT'S SUCH A POWERFUL AND SAD IMAGE#they could have done an entire montage of him there and a closeup of his face#but NO#instead they reuse the same damn stock clip of them clinking the glasses (which to be fair is in this part in the manga)#and showing the picture AGAIN even though the picture isn't even accurate bECAUSE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE LAUGHING AND SMILING#this scene would have taken literally 3 seconds and they cut it#i'm so outraged#do you know how long i was waiting for this panel to be animated????#my disappointment is immeasurable my day is ruined i will never forgive this#they even went as far as to play the ED early over this to make it more emotional but tHEY DIDN'T SHOW THE FLASHBACKKKK#ugh i'm sorry i really shouldn't be this pissed about this#the rest of the episode was so amazing in comparison (mushiiiiiiii šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­)#but this was one of my most anticipated scenes and i never in a million years thought it would be cut#the buraiha trio will always be my favorite and they deserve BETTER#ANGO DESERVES BETTER#anime onlies who still hate Ango probably wouldn't be swayed by this but it would have HELPED#it's important........ *cries*#ugh gonna bury myself in the mushi feels instead and try to forget this disaster ever happened#we were robbed </3
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orcelito Ā· 6 months ago
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Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.
But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.
#speculation nation#and then U add in the fact that the girl she broke up with me for is already dating someone else (poly sort of situation)#and im just like. WHYYYYY did she break up with me instead of trying to negotiate poly???#she was gonna at first but when i expressed concern about poly given her obvious communication problems about it#then she dropped me like a hot coal. like sorry i wasnt about to let myself be stood up and ignored for basically a whole day#just to accept u trying to negotiate poly. like What?????#anyways i may have a bit of a history with being a bit of an asshole and breaking up with them#but at LEAST ive never broken up with anyone to immediately start dating someone else#and at LEAST ive broken up with them in person and not over text!!! the fuck?????#i keep alternating between 'surprisingly okay with it all' and 'maybe a little sad' and 'absolutely fucking LIVID'#and i keep wanting to yell at her more but i already said quite a lot of things. so id just be repeating myself#and at that point id just be a vitriolic piece of shit. which i try not to be.#so im letting her live in peace while i continue to be So Pissed about it and it just sucks man lmfao#why do i gotta be the bigger person fr. i even apologized for the hurtful things i was saying in anger. literally in that same conversation.#and she gets to pull this stunt and walk free and spend so much time with her new 'love' ignoring the world etc etc#honestly i hope it fails miserably for her. bc sure theres a chance it works out but every single part of this is impulsive and So Stupid.#and even tho my ex agreed with me when i told her it was INSANE. she was just like 'i have to' like OKAY????#jesus fucking christmas she's revealed a side to me that i really hadnt seen before.#so i hope it fails and i hope she tells me about it. i hope she owns up to her mistakes. for my own satisfaction.#but i have 0 intention on ever taking her back. because what the fuck????#i may be a flawed individual with plenty of problems. but i still have basic fucking dignity. and i am NOT accepting this back in my life.#and god damn her friend is moving into the unit across from mine for this coming year#and i may have to see my ex sometimes bc of it šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­#the friend seemed generally level headed tho. idk if i happen across him & he doesnt avoid me maybe i'll ask him what he thinks of this#bc she was treating me with such love and affection showing me off to all her friends. and then she drops me like a fucking coal.#i wouldnt say i made friends with them myself but we were at least friendly. so i doubt theyd have a good opinion of her for this.#so would the friend loyalty take precedence? or would he be willing to chat with me and confirm Yeah what the fuck?#bc if i had a friend who did this same exact thing id be side-eyeing them SO hard.#id support them bc theyre my friend but i would also be like 'hey uh Why did you do that. that was pretty awful of u you know that right'#& itd also make me more cautious of them too. for being Able to drop someone so suddenly lol.
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tariah23 Ā· 10 months ago
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Well, Iā€™m still glad that Gojo was always a character who was growing and learning at least. Heā€™s literally one of my favorite characters of all time now. Like, heā€™s never been as perfect as how the fans would make him out to be despite canonically being viewed as an absolute nuisance to everyone around him (I donā€™t think his peers necessarily hate him but a lot of them probably hate to see him coming and the ones whoā€™ve dealt with him long enough to consider him a friend, tolerate him and groan whenever he opens his mouth,ļæ¼ too šŸ˜­ā€¦ out of love. Heā€™s extremely childish so there is only sm the other adults around him can take and to an extent, his students. I think the only characters in canon who adore him and their eyeā€™s sparkle whenever heā€™s around, and being a silly teacher was Yuuji and Miwa (she asked him for his autograph (heā€™s the most famous sorcerer in the jjk world) and when she was alone, she did a little dance in the empty hallway šŸ„ŗā€¦) from what weā€™ve seen even though the others still care about him, too. They just find him rather annoying, which he most definitely is. And he does it on purpose. He plays too much.)
#Iā€™m also not usually one to get annoyed whenever ppl shit on the things I like#like Iā€™m an adult sorry idc šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«#but itā€™s always annoying seeing ppl who know nothing about the story complaining about it#even just as recently with the Gojo being racist shit šŸ˜­..#like heā€™s a really great character despite all of that and even though Gegeā€™s#execution of that couldā€™ve been better or didnā€™t need to happen at all#because idk what gege was doing even though I do strongly believe that he used a moment like this to showcase Gojoā€™s ignorance and#that how heā€™s also human and makes mistakes since if youā€™re familiar with the series Gojo isnā€™t really treated like person at all#more like a deity and he doesnā€™t like that#but heā€™s never been one to voice his personal feelings and talk about his trauma ever#he gets treated like a god and because of this heā€™s never felt like he could truly connect with other people#so thatā€™s why he puts on that whole act of being overly friendly/ playing with others and even rude to shut others out because of his#aversion to opening his traumatized self To other ppl like heā€™s so cool#and when heā€™s friendly he gives the others just enough of his affection so that he wouldnā€™t be worried about and not have others pry#but heā€™s incredibly flawed as well#I feel like gege couldā€™ve showed Gojo being ā€˜humbledā€™ some other kind of way over the racism tho šŸ˜­. But itā€™s fine lmfao#Iā€™m still so grateful that he had Gojo actually apologize instead of waving Miguel off like he didnā€™t matter because like Iā€™ve said before#he literally never apologizes (this is probably the first time that Iā€™ve ever seen gojo apologize to anyone in canon Iā€™m so serious šŸ—æ)#thatā€™s literally not part of him#like he feels regret but he never apologies or shows that he actually cares about what others are expressing to him when theyā€™re upset with#him. like this is crazy. but it shows that he did care about the mistake that he made which I appreciateā€¦. like idk how I wouldā€™ve felt#about his character if he showed that he could care less when hurting someone like thisšŸ—æā€¦..#I adore him so much sorry sorry for taking about anime Iā€™m just šŸ˜­ā€¦. ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø#rambling#Iā€™m glad that everyone is fucking with Miguel now because he is a really interesting character even though we havenā€™t seen much of him#heā€™s one of the few ppl who Gojo trusted enough to look after someone who he cared about despite the horrors#because he knew that Miguel would protect yuuta and do right by him#itā€™s very šŸ˜­ā¤ļøā€¦
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goldlightsaber Ā· 23 days ago
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I love One Day because what are the odds that I, a writerly introvert-ish person who cares about social justice and procrastinates on all her artistic endeavors and is a bit socially awkward, have also had a weird push-pull dynamic with a charming, privileged, British fuckboy
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