#it's literally so insulting to people that have actual experience with addiction and also you sound like an idiot

[shanastoryteller]

whenever I see someone equating sugar and caffeine to narcotics and alcohol I'm like Hm! weird and off-putting way to let everyone know that addiction has no presence in your life, but good for you I guess

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

The way substance abuse has been handled on the show thus far genuinely upsets me and reeks of writers who either 1.) don't understand the subject matter they're presenting and haven't done even the bare minimum to research it or, worse, 2.) simply don't care.

Apologies for the slight rant incoming, your comment about how it has been mostly "handled" off-screen got me going because that's 100% true and in that truth is such a missed opportunity for the show. The way it has been handled winds up feeling incredibly shallow and juvenile at the end of the day, especially for a piece of media that is attempting to present itself as "adult" and navigate multiple incredibly sensitive topics. I'll try not to get into my own personal experiences and will speak broadly, but the show uses substance abuse more as a cheap character flaw to poke fun at or something to magically handwave away when it is inconvenient, rather than the life-altering, debilitating illness that it is.

Nothing about Angel's use is ever meaningfully explored. It's so (apparently) unimportant to his arc and development that one rude comment from Husk (a character who ALSO has a problem with gambling and alcohol that is never addressed) is all it takes for him to suddenly "resist temptation" and be shown as "recovered" (unless I'm misremembering). Or was he suddenly going to counseling off-screen too and its just another thing that will be told to us rather than shown? And how does Charlie even handle that at the Hotel (I'd be really interested in this as a moment for her character to have to grow/change too)? Does she even understand substance abuse and the many unaddressed systemic factors that can influence it? Or is the entire recovery process just shame based (because that works so well /s) combined with some more corny trust exercises? Why is this incredibly serious topic relegated to the background as if it's unimportant?

Recovery is hard. It is emotional and exhausting. Withdrawal (depending on what you're coming off of) can sometimes mean excruciating, unimaginable pain and in some cases people literally die. It is not a funny "ha-ha I take drugs because I'm chaotic and wild" quirk to be adored or glorified and it definitely should not be presented as something that can be wrapped up in a month or two off-screen without any development whatsoever. That's just insulting.

When you approach a topic like substance abuse and recovery, I personally feel you need to take in all sides of it. All the missteps that come with it (two steps forward one step back - mistakes are expected and okay), the self-loathing, the guilt and shame, the joy, the sense of freedom, the loss, and the best part of all: the incredibly difficult but liberating journey that is rebuilding your life and learning to love yourself and your body again, once you've chosen to be free and to live life.

Mad props to anyone who has ever battled this disease. You are strong, you are worth it and you are valued. Lol I am so sorry for going off here but I so appreciate you calling out the lack of exploration on this topic in the show. I guess I didn't even realize how annoyed and upset it was making me feel (praying this is coherent...).

This was absolutely coherent don’t worry!! Im really glad to see other people talking about this. I myself have not struggled with drug addiction but I have struggled with other kinds and as someone that studies a bunch of medical junk, I’d say I’m decently knowledgeable.

I’m mainly going to focus on Angel for this since he’s the main character I write for, but I assure you other characters addictions are also handled in my rewrite.

During the actual canon show, we don’t see Angel actually abusing substances that often; there’s a few times, most notably in episode 4, but from the rest of the show onward we hardly see anything. Yes in episode 6 they mentioned relapsing, which, mind you, was done horribly, but I digress. They touch on relapsing; Angel relapses, and then… what..??? What happened from that? I don’t feel upset or second hand guilt of any kind from this scene because we haven’t seen Angel’s attempts to stay sobre and off drugs.

His name is fucking Angel Dust. You don’t, I dunno, think that’d entail a higher dependency on drugs? Why do you think he named himself that?

About his name before anything else, the show has so much potential later on to talk about Angel picking out his drag name and why he chose that specifically. So much potential to explore how he views drugs and himself. He sees them as an escape and something “fun” to take his mind off of his actual life. When you die in a fucking coma and wake up in hell as a spider you’re going to want an escape. You will want to ignore reality. I am fully convinced Angel picked his name once he started performing because thats what he needed at the time. He needs to be like that to survive in hell. Angel is an incredibly mentally ill, troubled, traumatised, and unstable person, and being surrounded by so much intense negative influence only amplifies his current problems. I don’t mean to drag Vox in here but in my last redesign post I mentioned how very mildly bad people can become even worse people in hell because of the environment and this is no different for Angel. He’s been surrounded by crime and drugs his entire life and unable to live comfortably because of his sexuality. He has very likely been struggling with substances since he was a teen. Possibly even younger. He is not going to suddenly get over his addiction because of something like this. It could pave the way to him looking into dealing with it, but things like this can take years. I don’t remember when my addiction started; I’ve been clean for 2 1/2 years now I think, but the amount of relapsing and anguish I experienced while working towards that isn’t something that can be done in a few days or months. I still struggle with feeling like I deserve to say I’m recovering.

I’m hoping they tactfully handle this as they should, but my hopes are low. It’s okay to show a character relapsing. It’s okay to show a character feeling guilty. What matters is that the struggle is there to signify they’re trying. For a character with a song called “Addict” you really don’t see much of it. Drug and alcohol addiction is not a silly thing to just twiddle your fingers with and be like “well I guess thats over!” It’s incredibly insensitive to do so.

Whenever I write about Angel’s struggles with addictions, I focus on how small they can feel until you realise what’s actually happening. Just me talking about my rewrite again, but to get my ideas out here: Angel smokes often. He smokes at the studio when he’s stressed, he smokes at the hotel when he’s stressed, he smokes at in alleyways when he’s bored, there’s almost no location he won’t, but sometimes he tries to smoke less. His lungs aren’t the same as humans and technically he has 2 pairs of lungs, but smoking causes him to cough. This is painful in general and especially painful for Angel since he has barbs going down the back of his throat. Imagine choking on sandpaper, kind of like that. It’s painful, he doesn’t like the sound, Fat Nuggets REALLY doesn’t like the sound, and it’s an overall inconvenience, so he tries to stop smoking as much. Periods like this usually go fine for him until the stress returns or he starts to feel the withdrawal. Withdrawal from any sort of addiction is terrible, and in Angel’s case, just from not smoking it worsens his mental state further. He becomes irritable and stressed and that stress leads to wanting to smoke again to calm down. He may resist a few times and those times should be praised, but he gives in eventually. One cigarette to calm down becomes two, then three, and before he can process himself getting carried away, the entire pack is gone. It’s things like this that make addiction horrible. It’s something that deeply scared me when I was struggling. When I was struggling I was still in the mindset of “I can stop when I want to” and then being so suddenly hit in the face with the realisation that I’m not longer in control of this is terrifying. I could not stop when I wanted to. There were even points where I didn’t want to stop. Even just getting the smallest glimpse of this in an incredibly serious manner with Angel Dust would surprise me. To think the bar is this low on a show that seemingly prides itself on tackling such sensitive topics like you said is appalling. Your show shouldn’t have to be told how to write itself.

[br1ghtestlight]

"hello burger lady!! tiny people. BOB."

THE SLOW HEAD TURN WHILE FISCHOEDER IS STARING AT THEM LMAOO he's such a freak. what is he doing

aww linda put a smiley face on the check thats so cute. "nooo i enjoyed it :)"

A BROTHERHOOD?? BLOOD OATH? love how louise hears this and immediately stands up she's like hello. hello im interested. PLEASE let me into your blood oath club mr fischoder

babalon like the ancient uhh. thing.

ooooh :0

(also my dad used to call my mom babalon among MANY other creative insults when they were married and this immediately brought that memory back to me. but he said it like babble-on like she was babbling. sorry idk why i wanted to share that)

"and the other members already picked all of the best chefs in town soo im asking you" i literally dont believe fischoeder lmao he definitely just wanted bob to come along as his personal chef and couldn't come up w/ a better excuse like. come on

"a billion dollars" "nope." "a million dollars" "no...." "a billion dollars :D" "she just said that"

i know bob is holding onto fischoeder's back bcuz he cant see but also its like. kinda intimate?? like?

also love bob's new jacket. these are the kinda things you only notice when you've watched WAAYY too many bob's burgers episodes but its a nice jacket :) the blue color suits him. and it has a hood

personally i would be a little more concerned that mr fischoeder only has one eye and it is NOT looking in the direction of the dangerous sharp cliff theyre walking beside. i know he's driven bob in his boat before but he's SOO BLIND WHY ARE YOU WILLINGLY GETTING IN A BOAT WITH HIM <- saying this as someone who doesn't really have vision in one eye or depth perception. i wouldnt give in a boat with myself driving either

"it was actually kinda fun to come up with!! i-i hope you like it :)" bob is so sweet im gonna cry. he's so excited about cooking SOMEONE LET HIM RANT ABOUT HIS SPECIAL INTEREST RIGHT NOW. he's in autism heaven

NOT THE TIKTOK MENTION 😭😭

recognize some of these guys from the gingerbread house episode which was another horrible experience for bob lmao

"can i keep hiiim? 🥺" what is his PROBLEM

WAS HE WORKING THE OMLETTE STATION AT YOUR LAST SEX PARTY??? <- brand new sentence

also this 100% confirms to me that fischoeder has had sex with every old ass man on this camping trip bcuz NO WAY he's getting rich old woman pussy im sorry. i do think he's bisexual but his sex parties are male-exclusive. he fucked those old men

not looking forward to whatever is going to happen to bob in this episode.

I ALWAYS FORGET FISCHOEDER IS LIKE A HARDCORE DRUG ADDICT remember that time he did mushrooms in s13 That would explain some things. that weren't already explained by the alcoholism

bob is surprisingly chill considering the circumstances and the fact that he's getting less than a thousand dollars of restaurant equipment out of this. i know he trusts fischoeder (for some reason i dont entirely understand) but being blindfolded and taken to a secret island with a bunch of rich old men and having NO CELL SIGNAL and everybody is drugged as hell.... he doesn't even know where he is..... GIRL RUN‼️‼️

also there's only one bed in fischoeder's tent which means there's either a seperate camping section for the chefs (unlikely) he expects bob to sleep outside in the storm (very likely) or bob and fischoeder are going to have to share a bed 👀👀 i know its probably not going to be addressed but i need somebody to write And There Was Only One Bed bob x fischoeder fanfic about this episode immediately. like that needs to happen

bob realizing that the chances of him dying on this camping trip are quickly reaching eighty or ninety percent ooh he's COOKED

"Don't wear brown and black. Never look into someone's eyes..." "Bring your own fork. And briefcase." "Of course. Everyone knows that." "And leave one of your shoes as a gift." "But you have to hide it..." gene and louise are SOO silly i love them so much. they play off each other so well its like a constant improv class

this subplot is Trying To Teach Tina Social Skills meanwhile gene and louise don't have them either they just dont give a fuck about learning them. well louise knows them she just disregards them. gene doesn't know ANYTHING

HAHAHA BOB REALIZING THEYRE LEAVING HIM THERE TO DIE. ITS NEVER BEEN MORE OVER love him not even acknowledging their crazy fire drug-induced dancing he's so used to this bullshit. bob should get a week off after this MINIMUM but we all know he loves cooking too much for that

NOT MR FISCHOEDERS GAY ASS HIP SHAKE?????????

mfw im the only sober person at a crazy drug party full of rich people on an island during a deadly storm and its only Tuesday. 😐

UH OH IS THE CORRECT RESPONSE. BOB REALIZES HES SO FUCKED

aww its kinda cute he's making sure that fischoeder is taken care of too and packing up all their things. dad instincts

at a certain point u kinda have to call him calvin dude. like you're WELL past "mr fischoeder" territory in this situation <- is also calling him mr fischoeder in this review

"shh he's hunting us" is probably NOT what bob wanted to hear

there's something about this that is sooo.....

in defense of bob he has almost died or been killed with fischoeder SEVERAL times before this episode including in the movie. its like a male bonding thing for them at this point

"and i invented a new way to tie a tie" I KNEW I WASNT CRAZY FOR THINKING THAT LOUISES TIE WAS TIED WRONG IN THAT SCREENSHOT i love that i picked up on that and felt the need to point it out. having never worn a tie before in my life (not to my knowledge at least)

this is literally what it feels like when ur autistic and trying to understand neurotypical social conventions. tina is trying SO HARD she's such a sweet girl :( its okay baby girl i understand i get it

THE BITEY GUY HAS A NAME BOB

am i allowed to say that bob with wet hair is kinda 👀👀🔥

why'd he kiss him like that ??

he's suuuch a sweetie in his oversized jacket <3

"No, no. Plants don't like sweet drinks!" "Just hard liquor?"

"dad is missing a WILD night" *hard cut to bob tied up and being used as a human sacrifice for cannibalism*

WHAT WAS RHAT. WHY DID CALVIN LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT. YES IM USING HIS LEGAL FIRST NAME BCUZ WTF WAS THAT GAY ASS GUILTY LOOK?? HES NEVER BEEN GUILTY BEFORE he care so much about bob im gonna throw up. what the hell

HE LIIIKES HIM 😭 HE FELT GUILTY BCUZ HE LOVES AND CARES ABOUT BOB THIS IS SO FUCKED UP 😭😭💕

he probably also feels guilty that this is like the sixth time he's gotten bob into a near death situation. like at a certain point it starts to feel personal yknow

*howling* "god. i hate when he does that"

straight up on the verge of a meltdown. i dont even blame him tbh

bob isnt WRONG but also we are talking about a crazy drugged up cannibal who thinks he's a wild animal so maybe we could leave saving him until tomorrow morning? like idk i feel like he wouldnt exactly fit on their dingy. and even if he did what if he bites

"and you do have to come for ice cream!! it wont be any fun without you" okay thats kinda cute. this episode definitely kept up to pace with the insane homoerotic relationship between bob and fischoeder and im happy about that. almost gave us the tiniest hint into what fischoeder really feels/thinks about bob which. yeah

VERY UNHINGED EPISODE BUT REALLY FUN AND CUTE?? everything between bob and fischoeder was so. soo. yknow. and the subplot was funny and cute too :) very sweet little episode i always love when they go off on adventures like w/ teddy in sea me now. and of course their (many many) near death experiences together thats truly what its all about baby!!! really enjoyed this episode it was exactly the right amount of unhinged and funny

[gummirock]

“porn addiction isn’t real” contender for biggest cope of 2024

like ok. sure maybe there’s no chemical dependency happening. but that’s not really what addiction is exclusively defined by. I think most people can recognize that a person can get addicted to literally fucking anything and idk why we’re pretending porn doesn’t fit into that (I do know.)

how can you look at the thousands, if not millions of people, saying “I am addicted to porn. I have a compulsion to consume porn that interferes with my daily life. I need increasingly more porn to satisfy myself, and often increasingly obscure and violent porn too. All of my relationships, familial, platonic, and especially romantic and sexual, are being severely negatively impacted by my addiction. I can no longer experience pleasure at the sight and touch of my lover, and I desperately wish I could. I’ve started viewing other people, especially women, as sex objects despite what I know to be true. I wish I wasn’t addicted to porn”

and just be like. Nah not real it’s not actually an issue. A total slap in the face to victims of porn addiction.

Is it really just “sometimes terfs or conservatives use the word pornsick or cumbrained as an insult so obviously it must be a conservative puritanical idea!!!!” which isn’t even true, I’m pretty sure everyone and their fucking mother uses the word cumbrained now to refer to someone who let their worldview and perceptions of others become warped by unrealistic ideals in porn. which. is an actual issue. At this point if you say that shit I’m assuming you have a porn addiction and are in denial.

also bc I know this is the “piss on the poor” site im not saying we should ban porn or that all porn and it’s watchers are intrinsically evil and harmful, that’s fucking stupid.

[iiikaruz]

It’d be like- totally cool and awesome if you could share more ivan headcanons if you have any :]

i hope ur ready for the most random, unorganized hcs on the planet bc WHOO BOY DO I HAVE SOME STUFF TO SAY ABOUT THIS CRINGEFAIL INCEL!!

- tried learning how to do jumpstyle and is actually pretty decent at it, despite his skinny-ass toopthpick legs. also he literally can’t dance in any other way. like, he sucks at anything besides that.

- however, learning that forever ruined his music taste, since he now listens to breakcore and slavic dnb: just the most ear-rupturing, bass boosted music with anime samples

- he was definitely a Creepypasta & Invader Zim kid when he was younger. no questions asked. also he probably had unrestricted internet access as a child and fell upon gore & shock vids.

- furthermore on middle school ivan, he probably wore eyeliner and covered one of his eyes with his bang. he also never grew out of covering his eye with his bangs (i hate/adore his gay-ass bangs so much. maybe they’re the reason why he gets no bitches lmao)

- was raised learning russian by his foster parents and only started learning english when he was 6. (side note: i fucking love his accent it has me thrashing around on the floor)

- his hands are always sweaty but always cold at the same time?? bro is a physical anomaly and gets the worst of both worlds.

- absolutely sucks at eye contact, but not in the usual way. he ends up accidentally staring at people for way too long when they talk to him/when he’s talking. like, straight-up not blinking for a good minute.

- inherited schizophrenia from his clone father. he mostly just deals with paranoia and bouts of depression.

- is unbelievably touch-starved. to the point that if someone even touches his shoulder for more than a second, his brain just explodes and he immediately just crumples up like a piece of paper.

- swears a LOT in russian and in english (get you a man who can do both lol). his favorite insult is just “kill yourself” and other variations. it always works, definitely/s

- he thinks that any advance towards him is either someone making fun of him or that it’s just him reading into it too much it. he physically cant accept the idea of someone being into him.

- is chronically addicted to Monster Energy.

- greasiest hair ever. i just KNOW he probably washes his hair once a week.

- his favorite anime is Serial Experiment Lain (he’s absolutely a lain kinnie and you can pry this hc from my cold dead hands)

- has an incredibly shitty sleep schedule. like, 4 hours AT BEST. this is made from the combination of him having mild insomnia and him being online all the time.

[veryflirtytransportalate]

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"Wow. This is going to be a great story! Just wait till you see this in print. You won't regret this, Blue." - Piper

Oh, Piper. Always there. Always chilling. Always ready for whatever. I cannot stand how she is about me stealing stuff, but other than that we get along great. She runs a newspaper with her little sister, although she's been following me because she wants to publish my story. In exchange, she takes some pics for me to post here. We all win.

She and Dogmeat get along really well. I'm actually kind of confused about Dogmeat on the whole. He's... I met him on the road one day out of the blue, and ever since, he's been following me. I'm not saying we met, got to know each other, I literally looked at him and went, "Hey," and he just made himself my dog. I don't feed him. I pet him, stab him with Stim when he needs it, but I don't know where he gets water from. I've never seen him poop. He can take a .303 round like a champ, too. He is also a vicious murderer who attacks anyone I get into a scrap with. That's true friend material right there and also, maybe, a, robot, I'm suddenly realizing. That's cool, actually, robo-dog. Why do Stimpa-eh they work on Nick too, funk it, like anything else makes any sense here.

Honestly, I get why people are falling over themselves to be with me (see: my legs, my torso, my face), but I'm sometimes weirded out by how into me they can get? And it does not take a long time. Preston made me dad of his local cub scouts after knowing me for fifteen minutes. All I'd done up to that point was get high, kill like two dozen dudes in a suit of armor (I think one of them turned into a dragonman but I was pretty up there), and insult his old lady friend right to her face. Hell, Strong Mad can't stand me, and he still spends all day riding my Red Rocket. ...okay hold on, I just meant he hangs out where I told him to, okay, me and Strong Mad aren't... we... well... let me go to the Red Rocket, and take a good hard look at him, and get back to you. There... may be potential there.

(Outfit credits, my thoughts, and a few more shots below the cut.)

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Cait is here too! I use Koozebane's Loving Cait mod (opens in new tab) to change her general vibe some. Piper's hat is Niero's CROSS_MojaveManhunter mod (opens in new tab).

Fallout 4 companions, dude. I've only ever gotten as far as Virgil's cave so I haven't met most of them, but like... bro, they are in rough shape.

Cait's storyline I think lays it out the best, which is to say, is one of the worst: it combines a desire to tell a deeply empathetic story of sorrow and trauma and regret and redemption, but that desire is so mishandled and poorly considered that it feels more like an insult to people who have lived experiences similar to her's - if you've ever been told 'you're so brave' by someone and suddenly felt a not terribly intense form of insulted, that's the exact emotional response I think this combination elicits. Her description of the physiological and mental effects of her intoxicated lifestyle feels like only a rough impression of what long-term functional intoxication feels like in the body, she doesn't follow the rules of addiction the player does, her story has to actively ignore the magical addiction cures around every corner*, but then plops a science-magic chair McGuffin into play with the same 'it's an instant cure' handwaving that the rest of the game already does as a deus ex machina to a story that could have been about the redemptive power of self-forgiveness, and there's not even time to mention that the story of the Vault you find the chair in implies that a group of addicts would turn kill mode over a single stash of drugs so fast that they'd storm in and murder an entire therapy group in their chairs, implying a discovery to murder timeline of less than an hour, and the fact that someone signed off on the only Irish character in all of Fallout just to have her be defined by violence and addiction and red hair and an accent feels funking nasty. Irish people in post apocalyptic Boston? Super fun. Thematic. Represents the reality of Boston and would have been an excellent addition! But Cait... the elements of her story could have been something really powerful to explore in a second person narrative, but instead, the writing placed on top of her damages the cohesiveness of the world in every place it touches.

We're all on the same page here**, and literally all of the characters are like this, although most other companions don't have narratives nearly so long or with nearly such personal themes (thank goodness). Nick is a hardboiled detective who smokes cigarettes. He does not have lungs. He also has memories of his previous life? I never do his quest. Piper is a scrappy reporter lady. She is upbeat and supportive and cares about her sister. The end. Codsworth is a robot who is a butler. Mr. Handycock is a ghoul dressed like a red coat, and, in his free time, something like a character. McGravy is a merc and a lazy Fallout 3 callback. Strong Mad is just Fawkes again but worse, which is ridiculous when we could have had Fawkes be the lazy call back, or another lazy call back, I guess. Danse is the words "semper fi" injection molded into a human shape (with a hot face). Preston is... actually a fun combo of dorky dude in a bad situation with good intentions, Preston gets... ugh, as much of a pass as I'll give anyone, even though he holds the terrible distinction of radiant quest giver. You never wanna be the radiant quest giver, okay, even Mike Rowe wouldn't do that dirty job. Lucky for him I kind of like the radiant quests, but that's only because the un-radiant quests usually have writing in them, and I have a hard limit on the amount of Fallout 4 writing I can stomach (I can't remember if I've ever through mods or whatever gotten to the Institute but I remember the cutscene with Father where you meet him and I Just... oh wow... if... if I was in a class, and someone presented that scene as a project, I'd be so embarrassed for them).

I downloaded a few mod companions (the super mutant lady, an Enclave general, and someone else, I forget), but they don't quite fit in with the general mood I'm trying to tweak Fallout 4 into: this Cowboy Bebop-esque colorful and bombastic adventure world with weird tech and sexy badasses.

I'm going to keep trying to Collect 'Um All! but... I don't have high hopes.

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*Addictol, which I carry on me at all times, doctors, who are in every town we stop at, a special tea from the chemistry station, or a funking omelet can cure addiction and if you don't believe me well than (opens in new tab) - your move, funko.

**Oh my gosh I just Googled "why is cait irish fallout 4" and the top answer suggested by Google was "The reason Cait has a (terrible, stereotypical) 'Irish' accent is because Bethesda didn't stop to think about how little sense it would make." YES, JUST RIP THEM APART. Oh, internet, you weird commercialized corpse of a thing - thank you so much, that made my day.

[brotherhoodoftheblade]

*low whistle* Can't say I disagree either. 😬

It hit a lot of nails on the head of things I dislike about OL - why I can low-key like some things and characters, but only in a compartmentalized sense. I can never truly love it as a whole, and the later books in the series didn't especially improve on it.

Tbh, I liked OL a hell of a lot more before I'd read the books, and that's something I can really only attribute to DG.

And they certainly called it about how annoying it is that literally everyone is in love with Jamie, with his creator being the most madly in love of all. 🙄 It honestly probably did more to put me off him over time than anything else, because it's just so f*cking heavy-handed (and I'm a contrarian by nature lol) (also every time it's listed just how multi-talented he is, it makes him sound like a Gary Stu smh). It's like the adult version of YA novels that can't stop going on and on about how hot and utterly gorgeous and brilliant the male love interest is - regardless of whether they regularly act like a douchebag. 💀

I mean, please. Some of us actually think with something other than our libido. 😐

(Sorry not sorry. Surely by now you guys know I just say what I think, right? *one-shouldered shrug*)

(article below)

Outlander (Book Review)

Why’d I hate it so much?

If I had to explain why I hate Outlander in a single word, it would be “Jamie.” If I were given three words, I’d go with “Jamie,” “sexist,” and “homophobic.”

Trigger warnings for this review/book: rape, homophobia, ableism, misogyny, sadism, violence, torture, spouse abuse, incest, and pedophilia.

But everyone loves Jamie! What’s wrong with him?

Everything.

I did not expect to hate Jamie. As far as I can tell, everyone loves him. People who read the book love him. People who watch the show love him. Every character in the book loves him. He’s seemingly a universal fan favorite. He’s also a rapist, a hypocrite, a masochist, a sadist, an abuser, a misogynist, a homophobe, and a sex addict. Basically a dream man, right?

I can already hear what Outlander fans are thinking: Jamie is a product of his time, and people were trash back then. They saw their wives as property. They beat their children. They didn’t see gay people or women as equal to straight men. They didn’t know about consent. Well, guess what? I don’t care.

Outlander is a romance novel about a woman who travels back in time. Romance novels are meant to appeal to their readers. Gabaldon meant for the people who read Outlander in the 1990s to be attracted to Jamie. The show is still airing, so modern women are also supposed to like him. Claire isn’t from Jamie’s time, either. No one from Jamie’s time is going to experience him or Outlander. Jamie exists for modern women’s consumption, and he is an insult to modern women.

I refuse to believe that any modern, self-respecting women could go back in time and fall in love. I have no problem with Laoghaire being in love with Jamie. She doesn’t know any better. She has no concept of a world in which women are more than property to their husbands, or of men who don’t see beating as an acceptable method of childrearing. But Claire does. Claire is supposed to be spunky, smart, and self-sufficient. She knows enough to be aware that it’s not appropriate for a husband to beat his wife for misbehaving, but she is entirely too quick to forgive and forget.

Everyone who dislikes Jamie or Outlander talks about the spanking scene, but it’s impossible not to mention it at least in passing. Claire, at Jamie’s hand, is “beaten within an inch of [her] life” and while she does eventually get him to promise not to do it again, it clearly never gets through his thick skull that it was disgusting and inappropriate, because on later occasions he laughs about it. He takes one of the most humiliating, painful moments of Claire’s life and turns it into pillow talk. He might have agreed not to do it again, but that doesn’t change the fact that he thinks of the incident as a funny and sexy anecdote. He got sexual pleasure out of hurting his wife, and expects Claire to be grateful that he didn’t rape her afterward. Claire completely forgives him for this, and the reader is supposed to continue viewing him as a dashing, lovable hero.

For the record, he does rape her at other times, notably out in the open while twenty men sleep nearby; Claire specifically tells him no, he ignores her, and it is presented as okay because Claire responds physically. Jamie refers to Claire as his property, as the spoils of war, etc. on many occasions and Claire lets him… because he’s handsome, I guess. To Claire and Jamie, love and lust are one in the same. Because Jamie wants to have sex with Claire, he loves her. More to the point, because Jamie wants to have sex with Claire, he does. A lot. If Claire objects, he either reminds her that she belongs to him or promises to be quick. He’s lucky that he’s attractive enough that she wants him back, because if he were ugly Claire might see that he is as despicable as anyone else in the novel.

Actually, literally every man in Castle Leoch is a rapist. While Claire stays there, it is stated baldly and repeatedly that at certain times women have to hide because if any man sees a woman while drunk he’ll rape her and think nothing of it. Jamie protects Claire from this, supposedly, by sleeping outside her door and walking her places, but it’s hard to see him as any kind of anti-rape hero when he clearly sees consent as optional and has no qualms whatsoever in using his considerable strength to get whatever he wants. Sometimes he says lovely things like this:

JAMIE: “I didna ask your preferences in the matter, Sassenach […] You are my wife, as I’ve told you often enough. If ye didna wish to wed me, still ye chose to. And if ye didna happen to notice at the time, your part of the proceedings included the word ‘obey.’ You’re my wife, and if I want ye, woman, then I’ll have you, and be damned to ye!” (431).

And if Claire did get raped—and she gets very close many times because this is a historical fantasy so there’s gotta be the threat of rape every ten pages or so—you can bet your life savings that Jamie would be an asshole about it.

One major annoyance about Outlander is that literally everyone is in love with Jamie and likes to reminisce about his past and how manly and damaged and tortured he is (he’s the worst offender; how many creepily cheery stories does he tell about how much he loved that his dad regularly lashed him?). One of the most oft-repeated stories is about the time Black Jack Randall whipped him nearly to death and only stopped because Jamie’s sister stepped in; we’re told that Randall raped (and impregnated) Jenny, and that Jamie is so disgusted by it that he refuses to return home or write to Jenny.

When Jamie and Jenny finally do reunite, Jaime gives the most disgusting masterclass in slut-shaming and victim-blaming that I have ever had the misfortune to read. A quick reminder: Jenny went with Randall because if she hadn’t, Randall would have continued torturing Jamie, and might have killed him. Jenny saved Jamie by allowing herself to be hurt and violated by a dangerous sadist.

What’s that, Jamie? Oh. My bad. Apparently she disobeyed Jamie and chose to dishonor herself.

JAMIE: “Tell me why ye disobeyed my orders and chose to dishonor yourself and your family instead.” (578)

Apparently Jenny’s husband should be thanked for marrying a “soiled” woman (585). Apparently the pregnant Jenny should avoid going outside because doing so damages Jamie’s very fragile pride.

JAMIE: “You’re not content wi’ ruining your good name and my own, ye must go on with the scandal, and flaunt your shame to the whole neighborhood! […] you’re going about swelled out to here like a mad toad” (578).

And in case you’re wondering, yes, he also calls Jenny a bitch. He is only able to forgive Jenny when he finds out that Randall didn’t actually rape her and that her children were fathered by her husband. Because women who are raped are stupid sluts who should be shunned!

Claire, of course, saves all her sympathy for Jamie. When Jamie first tells her this story, she cares only about him. She never says anything like, “Hey, asshole, people don’t like to be raped, and she did it to save your life, so maybe you shouldn’t treat her like a pariah.”

Of course, at the end of the book Jamie does the same thing Jenny did. When Claire is in danger from Randall, Jamie offers to be raped so that she can go clear. The hypocrisy of this does not register on Jamie.

This is probably because Diana Gabaldon is so madly in love with her own creation that she doesn’t realize that Jamie isn’t as hot and cute and heroic as she thinks he is. At one point Jamie literally tells Claire that she has a sheep’s face, but that she makes up for it with her nice butt. Claire takes it as a declaration of love.

It’s just… Jamie is so gross, and I could let some of it slide, except that everyone is so obsessed with him. Every chapter is full of characters talking about how great he is. Even Jenny, Jaime’s sister, talks about him in a weirdly erotic way. His flaws are all ignored in favor for repeated adulation. He’s so strong! His hair is so beautiful! He’s so good at sex! And then to distract us from the fact that Jamie is as violent and possessive as anyone else in the book, we’re told repeatedly about all his beatings. Jamie spends half the book being a dashing hero and the other half being whumped. Gabaldon describes Jamie’s many, many, many beatings in a disturbingly romanticized way. There’s a lot of sex in Outlander, but the torture scenes are even more lovingly written. There is so much torture porn. It’s ridiculous. And gross.

Authors should call their characters out for their behavior, and while Gabaldon occasionally pretends to chastise Jamie through Claire, he is always let off the hook too quickly and too completely. He’s not an angel, but you wouldn’t know it from how Claire and the other characters act towards him.

That’s enough about Jamie. There’s more to say about how trash he is, like all the inappropriate times he has sex or his offhandedly sexist remarks or how he tries to act like he’s just a poor nobody when actually he’s like the most important Scot of all time or something, but I’ve had it with him. Romantic heroes are often problematic, but Jamie Fraser takes the cake. I hate him. I hate him so much. The only way I was able to make it through the book was by choosing to laugh at how awful Jamie is instead of letting him make me mad.

Now let’s talk about that rampant homophobia

My other major complaint about Outlander is how homophobic it is. Again, I can hear fans saying things like Audra, people were homophobic back then. Again, I don’t care. It’s gross and I don’t want to read it. And it’s not just the characters who are homophobic. The book itself is. There’s a difference between books that deal with homophobia and books that are homophobic. Outlander is definitely in the second category.

Pretty much every single man in this novel is a domineering rapist. Frank, Claire’s first husband, is pretty much the only exception… probably because he’s from the 1900s not the 1700s (again: I don’t believe any woman could travel back in time and fall in love). This is just… understood. If a woman comes across an unexpected man, he’ll probably try to rape her. For most of the characters, this is seen as a little drunken quirk. Hide out for a few hours and come back out when they’re sober! Jamie, as we’ve already discussed, derives sexual pleasure from beating his wife. The unambiguously evil Black Jack Randall is also a sexual sadist. He’s also a rapist. He is absolutely abhorrent, yes. So is everyone else. But Black Jack is the only one who is portrayed as irredeemably despicable. What’s the difference?

Yep. Black Jack Randall is gay.

It’s fine to have gay antagonists. LGBTQ+ people are people, and some people are evil. There are good LGBTQ+ people and bad ones, just like there are both good and bad straight ones. What’s not fine is to make sexuality a shocking reveal or to use it as a shorthand to mean even more evil!

Downton Abbey film spotlights 'horrific' treatment of gay men in …In case you need a quick explanation about how this sort of thing works. Thomas, in Downton Abbey, is gay and an antagonist. He’s an antagonist because he likes making trouble and hates the people he works with. If he were straight, he’d be pretty much the same character. You could argue that he’s so unpleasant because of the way society tramples on him as a gay man. There’s text to support that, but narratively it’s clear that the societal homophobia is the issue, not Thomas’ gayness. Thomas is an asshole who is coincidentally also gay. Being gay and being an asshole are not synonymous and, in fact, Thomas is more sympathetic when his sexuality is being addressed than at any other point, and it actually only rarely comes up because it’s not usually relevant.

Black Jack Randall, however, is a villain because he’s gay. Once Gabaldon shockingly reveals Randall’s sexuality, he rarely appears again where it is not mentioned. When Jamie first tells Claire about Randall’s preferences, Claire says this:

“I was seeing Jack Randall again, in a new and revolting light.” (413)

Claire already knew that Randall regularly tortured people and raped women. He tried to rape her when they first met. Jamie has already told Claire about the way Randall tortured him before attempting to rape Jenny. The only new revelation is that Randall also rapes men. He was already maximally despicable. Now he’s just maximally despicable and gay, but that’s enough to cast him in a new, “revolting” light.

The rest of the book makes sure to remind the reader that Black Jack is an evil deviant. He can’t do a single evil thing without Gabaldon being like, now remember, reader. This murderous rapist is also very GAY. Don’t forget that. She has to keep reminding us because being gay and being British are the only things that distinguish Black Jack from the other characters. When your heroes are murderers, sexists, sadists, and rapists you have to make your villains gay, I guess, or the reader wouldn’t know they’re the villains.

Black Jack Randall isn’t the only evil homosexual, either. The Duke of Sandringham also preys on little boys. Because for Diana Gabaldon it’s not bad enough to demonize homosexuality. She also had to conflate it with pedophilia and incest.

How do people like this book? Seriously? It’s so popular. Does everyone who reads it just pretend that this intense level of homophobia is okay? Do you ignore it? Do you not notice it? There’s a very long, very damaging history of homosexuality being tied to deviancy and villainy in fiction. This is textbook homophobia at its worst and it’s not okay.

Don’t come at me with Diana Gabaldon said Black Jack isn’t gay! She said he’s just an equal opportunity sadist. Well, that’s bullshit. She goes out of her way to make it clear that Randall is physically incapable of raping women because he’s not attracted to them (he struggles physically before Jenny starts laughing, and has the same issue with Claire), and she makes a point of having him say this at the climax of the novel:

BLACK JACK RANDALL: “I may have what are called ‘unnatural tastes’ myself, as I imagine you know by this time. But give me credit for some aesthetic principles.” (715)

Because heaven forbid he do anything evil without first reminding us that he’s gay. Then of course he rapes Jamie, which is portrayed as considerably more disgusting and violent and evil than any of the other rape. Which it isn’t. Rape is rape, regardless of who does it and to whom it’s done. Black Jack being attracted to men is not unnatural. Rape is an unnatural taste, but Outlander bends over backwards to try to convince the reader that gay men are evil predators and that rape is sometimes okay if the rapist is straight, handsome, and physically good at sex.

If you’re writing about a time period that was deeply –phobic or–ist towards a group of marginalized people, leaning into that bigotry is the worst way to do it. From best to worst, here are a few other ways to deal with it.

Write fully realized minority characters, and let their stories directly engage with the bigotry they face without being entirely defined by it. Ignore the bigotry; give your characters anachronistically progressive/accepting values.

Ignore the issue; if the only way you can include a gay character is by playing into the most damaging queer stereotypes, just don’t do it. It’s better to have no diversity than diversity that is going to reinforce dangerous biases that might result in hurting actual, living people. Black Jack Randall is clearly intended to be gay, and Outlander is blatantly and exuberantly homophobic. I’ve heard that there is a non-evil gay character later in the series to balance the scale (but apparently he’s also in love with Jamie because of course he is) and that’s fine. Good, I guess. Maybe Diana Gabaldon realized how horribly she screwed up with Outlander and tried to fix it later down the road. I don’t know now and I will never know because you’d have to pay me to keep going with these books. I absolutely hope that things are better from book two on, but I wish Gabaldon would acknowledge that Outlander is homophobic and then say that she later course corrected instead of acting like there’s nothing wrong in the first place.

So that’s a lot. Is there anything else bad about Outlander?

Yeah, but this is already a really long, really ranty post, so we’ll do the rest of this quickly. In addition to being sexist and homophobic, it’s also ablest. Neither Colum nor Ian can be described without unnecessary attention being drawn to their disabilities, and Jamie specifically describes Ian as being less than he was before he lost his leg.

Then there’s the actual plot of the novel. Claire decides to just… abandon her old life and forget about her husband bizarrely fast. Not to mention how joyously Claire goes into the whole having-sex-with-Jamie-while-married-to-Frank thing; the first time, sure. She was basically forced into it. After that… she didn’t think twice even though she supposedly loved Frank and still felt very much married to him.

I already talked about how Gabaldon is so in love with Jamie that everyone forgives him everything. She does the same with Claire, albeit in a different way. At the end of the book, Claire meets a priest and confesses her bigamy and murder and the priest is just like, God says it’s cool! And that’s just disingenuous. Claire was basically forced to sleep with Jamie the first time, and several of their other encounters were rape, but there are definitely lots of scenes where she happily and enthusiastically goes into the sex even though she still considers herself married to Frank and has every intention of finding a way back to him. It’s fine if Claire herself believes that she is in the right, but I can’t imagine any priest would.

What’s the verdict?

It’s just… eurgh. Outlander is just one gross thing after another. I’m skeptical of romance as a genre because of books like Outlander that romanticize abusive partners and male dominance. Outlander may be historical fiction, but it is being widely read and enjoyed by modern readers which worries me because of its dangerously backwards treatment of women and LGBTQ+ people. It has a few enjoyable moments, particularly in the first half, but by the time I hit the halfway point the rampant sexism and homophobia were too heavy for me to ignore and I spent the rest of the time repeatedly asking myself can I hate Jamie any more than I do at this point? The answer, by the way, was yes. Every time I thought Jamie had maxed out on repulsiveness he managed to outdo himself.

Maybe Outlander the TV show is less sexist, less homophobic, and less obsessed with justifying Jamie’s every abusive thought. I hope it is.

~*~

https://funfandomblog.wordpress.com/2020/05/08/outlander-book-review/#more-6409

Wish I could disagree. But ...

[apparentlyaswarmofbees]

Hello I hope your doing well! I have a headcanon idea how would the brothers and previously undatebles react to a masseuse/masseur (people who give out professional massages)

Let's try this shall we~

Edit: I was informed by someone who is actually familiar with this field that the term Masseuse and Masseur can be seen as insulting in the profession, thank you for informing me again!

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The Boys and a Massage Professional/Therapist MC

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Warning: uncensored swearing, a lot of it asfkfkajshfkslajd

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Lucifer

Tense shoulders that could cut steel, harder than a fucking nokia phone from centuries to eons of stress, if I was a professional at massages I think I would be itching to grab onto those muscles of his like dough.

He will probably feel chills down his spine whenever you are around.

Won't take much convincing if the time is right to ask him to please let you release the pressure on him because dear fucking lord I wouldn't be able to just stand and watch either.

Good fucking luck in the process, when I say this man is stiff this man is STIFF.

He will be feeling so much better by the end of it there's a chance he will be slightly dazed.

Also it improved his mood which led to less harsh punishments, which now has led to more demands from others than from Lucifer himself for you to massage him.

I think you should start asking for payment at this point-

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Mammon

And talking about payment, you will definetelly need to ask it from this one because after the first time you gave it to him for free out of your own good will he started to come back for it all. the. time.

Okay, he's cute and the sounds he makes are so 👌. But damn boy this is not exactly so easy so please give something back??????

Well, you just need to say the word and he will always have something in ready to give you. A date at a place you have been wanting to go for a good while now or something you have had you eyes on for a good time.

It's a very win win kind of deal.

Though at some point when you massaged his legs he felt so light he ran faster than he could control and almost ran into a wall, actually no, he did ran into a wall there's a crack in there ouch-

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Leviathan

In which the cause of the second oldest running was probably to scape the demands for his money back from the third oldest, though Levi was definetelly too stunned by the lighting speed to react right away.

He now makes sonic jokes when refering to Mammon.

But going back to massages, this fucking snake has such a bad posture I would be in back pain just from watching him sit.

And don't expect it to be easy to fix that because everytime you touch him he just tenses up further.

I swear it would be easier to just knock him out and acupuncture him.

You will succeed at some point if you don't give up, and BOY he also makes some 👌😩 sounds.

They're a lot more dorkish and high pitched and he will definetelly not be functional by the end of it.

He will start trying to fix his posture from now on to not make your work go to waste.

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Satan

A curious cat that would just straight up ask for a session (not for free of course he already has something to give you back in ready) after witnessing the shenanigans above.

Not so stiff as Lucifer but still fucking hard, which is to be expected since he has so much rage bottled up.

Chances are he's turning into his demon form unconsciously.

It's a bit of an intimidating session not gonna lie, he is basically using it to relieve himself from part of his wrath so with every groan it feels like he's going to jump at you and rip you to shreds.

He won't of course, instead he will smile brightly by the end of the session and give you your reward for such a good job.

It's honestly worth it though you will probably be needing a massage yourself after-

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Asmodeus

And that's where pretty boy comes in! He doesn't have a professional tittle on him but he has centuries of experience so that's close right?

He will have all things ready, just say the word and he will give you the best payment for all your hard work ever: a chance to relax yourself.

And man he's good.

It's also not very tiring to massage him either, his smooth skin is addicting to touch, the atmosphere he will help set up will be perfect, and he also spills a lot of tea in between so that's a plus for entertainment.

Seriously whenever it becomes too much to be with the rest of the brothers just hit Asmo up and he's gotchu.

Private spa day comming right up.

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Beelzebub

He won't ask because it will completelly scape his mind.

He plays a lot of sports and does a lot of exercising so of course he has a lot of sore muscles.

And you can't tell me you wouldn't want to massage his belly, he's a glutton, it's literally asking for you to massage there.

Baby boy is always so gratefull, thanks to your aftercare on his legs, arms and torso, he has never felt lighter!

Which has led him to accidentally break some of the gym weights, win a sports game almost all on his own and make another restaurant suffer because he felt he could eat more than usual.

Although I would like to say you should proceed with the massages with caution, his smile is too precious to ever say no to.

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Belphegor

Easiest target ever, will probably sleep for 24 hours in one go right after.

And he won't wake up for shit.

Though once he wakes up after those 24 hours he will basically be wide awake for the next 24 hours, so honestly? This has turned out to be very useful in important ocasions.

Will often give out some whines in the middle of a session, possibly half asleep for the entire time.

I feel like he would feel quite ticklish in some places even though you wouldn't be purposelly trying to tickle him, probably.

And I know many of you love his laugh, so yeah that's a plus.

He will definetelly offer to massage you back, and yes he will be good at it, and no it's not because of experience, yes it's because he's too much of a genious and has basically learned through osmosis just from getting massages from you.

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Solomon

Let me tell ya, he's stiffer than you think.

Bad posture, centuries of responsabilities, strain from excessive use of magic and pacts and the weight of existence when you are both immortal and unable to die.

He could easily rival Lucifer and he won't even realize it.

Will definetelly agree to get a massage and will definetelly say "well I do feel a bit under the weather" and his muscles will definetelly feel a little bit more than just under the weather.

It's easier to chew on hard bread than massage Solomon.

He also offers to pay you back.

Do not agree to get a massage from him, I repeat, DO NOT.

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Simeon

If you didn't feel like touching that exposed waist of his then you're lying.

If you don't offer first, he will ask you for it at some point.

And man to have a literal angel right under you, letting out a few exhales of satisfaction and bliss with every move of your skilled hands and arms, sometimes a chuckle followed by a comment that could start a small conversation.

Smooth skin, perfectly shaped body, I don't think I would be able to get my hands off him either.

Massage his hands, from his palms to his fingertips, massage his shoulders, from his blades to his neck, thumbs pressing close to his spine.

He will gladly let you indulge yourself for as long as you wish.

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Diavolo

Another one who's stiffer than you think.

You could literally jump on his back and it would feel like pavement.

Oh and he's now definetelly addicted to massage.

Of course he will also be paying you back with whatever you wish (don't make a joke and say something like 100,000,000 grimm, he will take it seriously-).

Depending on the day he may actually fall asleep, which is very cute.

On another note tho, have you ever thought about sleeping on his back? Because I have-

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Barbatos

Good luck getting him to take off his clothes, even more good luck to catch him not being busy.

This man will gladly give out massages of his own (which could probably knock out a dragon because damn boy those hands are skilled) but will probably not be as easy to convince to get a massage.

It will take an extremelly tiring day to make him agree and it will be so worth it.

Why you ask? Because the look in his face will alway be so soft by the end of it. Pure gratefullness.

Since then he will start to actually seek you out from time to time, the little smile on his face almost looking excited.

[mc-critical]

your analysis of selim? i think he's hated way more than he deserves. hating him for valid reasons is fine but telling that he's gonna be such a bad sultan is really stupid [and especially because only now do they bring out history & say selim was bad which is historically inaccurate as well]. out of all of suleyman's sons, it was only mustafa who was loved by all & talented [show only cuz apparently mehmet was also extremely talented & selim wasn't a bad sultan] enough for the throne. bayezid was extremely hotheaded and you can't tell me that a prince who can't control his emotions, especially in front of state officials, will be a good sultan. everyone tells selim was extremely selfish & the instigator of all their fights, when they were younger & older. siblings are always like that?? mustafa obviously wasn't like that because he was way older than mehmet, mihrimah, selim, bayezid & cihangir to get into stupid fights w/ them. mehmet & mihrimah had frequent & annoying arguments because they were closer in age. selim & bayezid had frequent fights because they were closer in age. this is a thing with many siblings; the elder provoking the younger & the younger disrespecting the elder. why do people point out their sibling fights as evidence for selim's personality? i feel sorry for bayezid as a kid but i feel less remorse for him as he's older. i don't say he deserves execution, especially at the hands of his own father, but he did rebel against his father's order & then proceeded to flee to another empire; like, the punishment for that is execution, what did he expect after rebelling? i feel extremely sorry for all his sons though, they didn't deserve this fate when they were just victims of their father's rebellion. also, unpopular opinion but bayezid is lowkey overrated pls don't cancel me i love him but he's annoying at times like all characters & no one really acknowledges it back to selim, he was honestly very underrated. he was really slandered in the series and he didn't have any real support w/ him until nurbanu & sokollu. although hurrem did vouch for him to go to manisa, it was literally only because he was 'peaceful' [we can read that as untalented as well] and no harm would reach him because he wasn't a threat [i actually really liked this plan of hurrem's, tough & clever; only if she was actually supported in this]. even mihrimah, till the end, is quite unfair to him. he had a problem w/ alcohol & people telling him to just stop? like, it doesn't work that way? people have to suffer so much in order to stop their addictions & they're actually restricted from their addictions; selim was a prince, no one around him could restrict him [his parents could but they weren't w/ him in his provinces]. he did become politically active w/ nurbanu's growing ambitions & he took smarter, more cunning & dirtier measures than bayezid to win the throne. the battle for the throne was bloody; resorting to honour like mustafa did was obviously not the best decision & people insult selim for being cunning enough [or being influenced by cunning people] to win the throne. let's also keep in mind that selim didn't even have much of an interest for the throne until manisa & nurbanu. i also like his relationship w/ nurbanu. it paralleled suleyman & hurrem's w/ the concubine arcs but selim did end up being monogamous to her in the show. their chemistry was fantastic [props to engin & merve for their acting] and although i don't really enjoy the 'a woman makes a man strong & influences him in everything; good or evil' kind of take, i did enjoy their relationship [he also sometimes looked at her like she was this ethereal type miracle, appropriately so w/ her courage]. i like what the show did w/ bayezid's execution a lot, the whole scene was such a wonderful cinematic experience; the music, bayezid's agonizing screams, his sons falling one by one, selim crying because he didn't want it to end up this way, bayezid falling & his screams ceasing, selim's heartbroken face because he was always a soft person & he always loved bayezid;

ahh, what a scene, so much love for it. anyway, that's just my opinion; i think he's hated way more than he deserves, especially in comparison to other characters & he's actually one of my most favourite characters from s4 [but i honestly love all characters w/ their good & bad, mc has many complex characters & i live for it]. what do you think about selim? sorry if you got annoyed at the long ask, i can get really heated when talking about selim [especially in reference to his historical figure], hope you don't mind if❤ [if it is annoying i'll stop it]

(okay, I'll talk strictly about the show, since I don't feel like delving deep into historical waters. There is still stuff we don't know for sure and I do want to keep the line between show and history in my head, except for the similar themes.)

While he isn't particularly my favorite character, I appreciate MC Selim and he is a very interesting subject when it comes to analyzing him. I'm actually amazed with what the show did with him in the span of a season (and something, counting some S02B and S03B moments) - he was one of the most fleshed out characters in S04 and we could get a clear picture as to why he does what he does.

Some people consider his debut to be an insult, for it immediately showed some of his weaknesses, putting him in a bad light right out of the gate. But all I can see in this debut is a showcase of his predicament of the prince no one sees as a capable heir of the throne. It’s as if he sleeps with women and drinks as a coping mechanism he’s delved into, with Mihrimah having to do effort to snap him out of it. The Selim we see in the beginning of S04 is a hopeless person. He doesn’t have dreams and ambitions, it’s as if he’s a already a lost cause and he has no one to truly support him. Even Hürrem wanted to send him to Manisa not because she deemed him as worthy, but to use him as a shield in order to deceive her enemies and protect the actual favorite. That may seem like a clever plan, but in actuality, it failed spectacularly - not only did her enemies not get confused for a second and didn’t attack Selim at all, but she forgot to tell Bayezid why she did it and made Selim confused to the point of demotivation, because none of his brothers were truly happy with this decision and they were all opposing it, directly and indirectly. And while he may not show it that much, because of his more composed and pragmatic nature, Selim is sensitive to the opinions of his brothers and the people around him and their prevailing disapproval may be a part of why he became so different than the rest. It’s like no one wanted to get to know him.

Nurbanu’s entrance in Selim’s life is very cathartic in this aspect, for she actually worked with him and gave him the needed motivation and ambition to fight, awaking sides of him that were dormant for a long time. And yes, I do think that Selim’s pragmatism is something he always had, if the whole arrow incident in S03B where he sabotaged Bayezid’s arrow, which caused him to lose is any indication. 

{I don’t think that the quarrels Selim and Bayezid had when they were little are so much indicators of Selim’s personality as they are foreshadowing of their future conflict. Right, these quarrels are normal for siblings and Mehmet and Mihrimah also fought like that (heck, even little Mehmet and Mustafa had a fight once in S01 and that fight was used as the conflict of the remainder of that one episode), but they weren’t as frequent as the ones of Selim and Bayezid. I don’t know, it’s just the atmosphere of these scenes was different and hinted at something more. It could be because we know the historical events and we could see every tiniest bit of early sibling rivalry between them as build-up, but still, I always felt there just was something else. Like the whole arrow incident I mentioned, a presumably harmless little situation gains a whole other meaning later on. It sets up neatly Süleiman’s opinions of both of them (his reaction to apparent disobedience and the making of a scene by someone he doesn’t expect to, by which I mean Bayezid), Hürrem’s retroactive ignorance of a possible bigger enmity and the roots of the whole conflict. It’s not Selim deciding to sabotage Bayezid’s performance as a last resort, maybe knowing that he surely won’t do better than his brother (doing a pretty typical ,,prank’’ for a little, naughty kid) that is exemplary of his cunning later, it’s his validation and him getting away with it that eventually becomes it, just like how he ends up getting away with stuff in the next season. Selim definetly isn’t the instigator of all the fights, especially because Bayezid, thanks to his more impulsive nature, is much more likely to start a fight in the first place and contrasts to Selim’s overall better composure. Provokations among them were mutual and both were consistently throwing darts at each other, one after another. Their conflict is a very nuanced issue: while people try to play right and wrong, both sides were at fault one way or another. The conflict between them is mostly caused by insensitivity, favoritism and ignorance and the desperation of both to try to prove themselves to their parents and win their support, at the end of the day. Why did they always calm down in front of their mother? Not only because of their joint respect for her, but also because of these same attempts to earn her support. Even Bayezid, who obviously had to be sure of her support, wasn’t completely certain of it after Hurrem turned it on Selim for a while. Selim, on the other hand, obviously never felt her support, it’s like something was missing right from the start. Combine that with their completely opposing personalities and the whole system encouraging competition for the throne and there you have the inevitable ultimate conclusion. That’s why I also love the set-up, the pay-off and the aftermath of Bayezid’s execution. It may be historically inaccurate that Selim, not Süleiman, executed Bayezid, but when you think about it, it was the most logical thing that could’ve happened, ending their conflict with a heart-wrenching bow. I love the scene of the execution itself, too - the action, the dialogue, the direction, the character moments, the themes... I don’t know whether Selim loved Bayezid by that point, per say, after all they went through, but it was clear that he knew that he had to do it, that it couldn’t have ended any other way, but he was broken over it. He was aware that it was, ultimately, a sin, which would continue haunting him. He couldn’t catch a break afterwards, he couldn’t stop. All was solved, but at what cost?}

I love his dynamic with Nurbanu - they balanced each other off so well, their chemistry was amazing, such a power couple. Nurbanu’s biggest contribution is hiding some of his flaws and mobilizing him to fight. Her cold pragmatism ,,grounds’’ Selim’s softer side, she’s there to always remind him of the stakes of the game and to shut off the last ounces of his vulnerabilities after Hurrem died. He sure is influenced by her, but that doesn’t mean that he blindly takes her word for everything - he is always ready to call her out when necessary and assure her that there are lines she shouldn’t cross. Despite of her pleas, he kept having affairs with other women (that is honestly a trend with all the men of the show, but still..), he got mad at her after what happened to Huricihan and most notably, after he found out that she possibly stole his mother’s ring. A part of why their dynamic works so well is precisely this strenght of character and their awesome compatibility. 

I have heard affirmations that Selim doesn’t care about Mustafa, which... simply isn’t true? While they have the least scenes together and Selim is the one that considers him most as a rival and his most dangerous competitor for the throne (which would explain his startled reaction after Musti saved him from the janissary), it’s precisely Mustafa’s death that is the turning point of his character arc. He was upping his game slowly but surely and before then, but he didn’t do much in terms of attacks. Neither Selim, nor Nurbanu once considered attacking Mustafa, the supposed biggest danger to them, which I find respectable and admirable. The bomb with the death drops and then every hope about a fair game is abandoned. Selim gets the realization that being honorable won’t work. The only way to win is bend the system and play dirty. There’s no time for sitting around or looking nice. And even though Nurbanu realized this, too, as well as Selim, Nurbanu was always more inclined to act this way than him and now the righteousness of her methods were only getting confirmed. It was Selim that had to reach this end. Discovering that he is no longer allowed to show any kind of weakness. Every chance that appears on the horizon, he’ll take it. That brings him to his first true dirty plan - the trap he set through the fake Mustafa rebellion.

Speaking of which, the worst deed of Selim’s for me is connected to that rebellion. I know I may be very biased in this regard, since it affects my personal favorite character and isn’t as recalled as others, but I hated when, in Selim and Sokollu’s attempts to wash their hands from the pulled off stunt, Sokollu, his man, told SS that Mahidevran was giving money to the rebellion. Okay, it’s not said outright whether is this directly tied to Selim or it was something Sokollu himself came up with out of desperation or something (though it was hinted that both thought something through in a scene where both were saying that they should come clean out of this all somehow) and it’s not outrightly confirmed whether Mahidevran gave the money or not (I highly doubt she did it; not only because it would destroy her whole S04 arc and she would become, well... MCK Gulbahar, but also because after the messenger told her of her alleged blame in E129, her eyes widened in surprise.), but all it does is be the only explicit case where Selim indeed looks bad, for his proposal to return Mahidevran in the castle doesn’t seem to stem from genuine guilt and remorse, but rather a late and empty attempt to placate his own conscience. Oh, not to mention (for the upteenth time, sorry in advance) how the scene back in E58 where Hurrem tells Mahidevran that her kids will be there taking care for her when she’s alone, which was treated as some big foreshadowing in the show, as well, by both the voice of the S02B narrative and the fandom alike, loses its value even more with that framing, because Selim and Sokollu themselves brought her to this state in the first place!!! Despite it making sense anyway, it’s still such a disservice to Selim as a person both inside and outside of the writing. 

One aspect of Selim’s pragmatism I find most interesting is his ability to turn his enemies into allies, knowing exactly how to amass them and get them on his side, be it through giving them more money and promising them the world. These alliances are all opportunistic in nature and may not be as loyal as those of Mustafa’s or of Mustafa’s people (like Atmaca) with Bayezid, but I think Selim knows this and wants to keep them steady enough for the common goal. As for what kind of a padisah he’ll be.... I believe that state matters would be the least of his concerns, since he was shown to not care so much about them, compared to his other brothers (but then again, the show itself doesn’t put the political capability of the princes at center stage - their personal virtues are always the determining factor of what makes a good padisah and what doesn’t, more of a psychological outlook, if you will.) and he perhaps won’t plan as many campaigns or conquer as many territories, maybe he won’t be that successful at all, but his cunning would bring him advantage in front of his people, he will be at least a bit careful of who he’s choosing and won’t simply lose it in front of everyone, compared to Bayezid’s impulsive temper.

[I love Bayezid as a character, but the shadier aspects of his personality sure tend to be overlooked. While his anger is directed mainly at Selim and Suleiman, it often reaches such extremes to the point it becomes destructive and affects everyone. He doesn’t deserve his execution at all and most of his actions stem from a very sympathetic place, given how SS never truly gave him a chance and he went on the inevitable path, because he, just like Selim, realized that honor won’t work in this war, but took the opposite approach from Mustafa, direct rebellion. And predictably, both approaches didn’t work since Bayezid, too, was taken advantage of. While he didn’t get justice, the lead-up to his execution is a character arc of his and there are many reasons and events linking it all together and showing us why it took place the way it did.]

Selim’s dynamic with Suleiman is proof of how you can be presumably favored, but you have to work to get there. The reasons Suleiman favored him are very telling and sad and we see that he also doesn’t favor him because of any and all capabilities he may have, but because of his self-imposed distorted view of loyalty Selim has to do a lot to preserve, actually. He constantly has to make it so it looks like he’s loyal and obedient and doesn’t work behind his back. He doesn’t get the fullest appreciation from his father, as well, and I certainly feel it impacts him, in a way.

I agree that Mihrimah could be unfair to Selim. They weren’t that close and she had this open preference to Bayezid. Most annoyingly is when, in their confrontation in E139, which highlights even more their parallel sins, Mihrimah doesn’t seem to face that sin of hers when Selim calls her out on it. She has a reason to deeply resent him after what he did to Bayezid, but was offended when he reminded her of the crime she also committed. More solidarity on that front would be a bit better, at least a hint of like recognizing like even for a moment. (but maybe then her scene with Mahidevran later wouldn’t be as impactful? Huh.)

And lastly, about his drinking - Nurbanu tried to restrict him, but it’s true that such habits aren’t easy to give up on, especially knowing how his drinking is a coping mechanism as much as it is something he enjoys. He knows he shouldn’t do it, he’s told he shouldn’t do it, but he can’t help it. He doesn’t drink when he’s planning or scheming, but he keeps on doing it more and more with every problematic action of his. It’s an attempt to supress his otherwise strong conscience to the max, seeing how after his brother’s execution he apparently always took a drink when he was alone at night, fighting an inner conflict with himself. I don’t think there was a way he could stop doing it permanently in the show. It was a part of who he was, unfortunately or not. 

[bondsmagii]

(cw: I'm about to get real crass about CSA because it makes me real mad and that's how I cope)

the cultural reaction to cuties is infuriating to me, especially how even defenders feel the need to criticise the hypersexualised camera shots for ""normalising sexualistion of children in film"". Like, this is a thing that is happening in real life, right now, folks! Real Life Kids commonly do dances like these, in clothes like these, in an attempt to copy adult women being framed in shots like that! That's basically a good fifth of Tik Tok! The shots being of kids instead of adults is intentionally horrific, because it's trying to highlight that that kind of societal gaze is what pressured them to do the dances and wear the clothes and everything else; to take a thing that we've all come to accept as normal (8 year olds online twerking to songs explicitly about sex) and make us see how horrific it is, so people might give a shit for once. (A real shit, not that Pizzagate-adjacent thing where people only bring it up in service of criticising something/someone they already didn't like, and never exploring why it's so prevalent to begin with). You know, the filmic opposite of normalisation?? It's incredibly disappointing that people's takeaway appears to be: "ew gross, look at how horny this camera is for literal children. Glad this absolutely isn't a thing that happens in real life that I will go straight back to ignoring while patting myself on the back for identifying this media as Problematic

And the idea that "a pedophile could get off to this" makes any sense as criticism! I guess pedophiles only get off to children in revealing clothing, huh? So all children need to do to avoid pedophiles is, uh... *checks notes* "dress less slutty". I *wish* I lived in a world where pedophiles were genuinely waiting on feature films to deliver them a few shots of children in revealing clothing, instead of trading real CP that has caused untold suffering. Sometimes it really feels like people are more invested in weaponising the idea of suffering children in rhetoric, rather than the welfare of real children. It's the same disconnect that makes it impossible to bring up things like early intervention programs for pedophiles without being called a pedophile yourself (a rich thing to call someone who was on the receiving end, and takes about a year off my lifespan every time).

Every time someone brings this movie up, I feel like I'm losing my marbles. Otherwise smart and insightful people seem completely willing to misread it in the most infuriating way possible. It's like it's the Asch conformity test, and I'm the rube in the last chair wondering whether I even watched the same movie as them. It's comforting to see at least one other person on this godforsaken planet comprehending that The Sexualised Children Shots Are Horrific On Purpose in this movie trying to push people out of complacency

honestly go off like I could not have said this better myself. this is exactly what's been pissing me off about the response to this movie and my post about it in general.

the cultural reaction to cuties is infuriating to me, especially how even defenders feel the need to criticise the hypersexualised camera shots for ""normalising sexualistion of children in film"". Like, this is a thing that is happening in real life, right now, folks! Real Life Kids commonly do dances like these, in clothes like these, in an attempt to copy adult women being framed in shots like that! That's basically a good fifth of Tik Tok!

this is what I cannot get my head around. like, people are freaking out over how this movie normalises the sexualisation of young children, but somehow miss the point that it's already been normalised. the movie would not be necessary if this hadn't already become a completely normal part of society. even walking around the shops in town I see children maybe 10 or 11 years old dressed like Instagram models, faces full of makeup, revealing clothing... it's honestly disturbing. these kids think that's acceptable, they think that's what they need to do in order to have worth, and it's terrifying. if I had my own children, I would be terrified for them. the movie is not the problem. why people can't direct this anger and outrage to websites like TikTok instead, I have no idea. probably because that would require actual work, and we all know these people are addicted to outrage and self-righteousness and absolutely allergic to any kind of effort to create real change.

It's incredibly disappointing that people's takeaway appears to be: "ew gross, look at how horny this camera is for literal children. Glad this absolutely isn't a thing that happens in real life that I will go straight back to ignoring while patting myself on the back for identifying this media as Problematic"

people get so offended when they're made to feel uncomfortable. I have no idea why. I'm trying to work out this thought process but it's simply beyond me. it baffles me that people can see something that's actually happening in the world, and instead of getting angry about the actual issue, they decide to attack the female director of the movie about said issue, who is writing from her own experience. like, how in god's name these people managed to miss the point so badly, I do not know. the manoeuvres they had to do to miss a point that big and obvious should make them all automatic gold medal winners in Olympic gymnastics.

(I do think that a lot of people yelling the loudest about Cuties have probably only seen the Netflix promotional poster and then devoured a bunch of Twitter threads highlighting the apparent problems and possibly a view video essays on YouTube showing the most dramatic and out of context shots of the girls, however.)

And the idea that "a pedophile could get off to this" makes any sense as criticism! I guess pedophiles only get off to children in revealing clothing, huh? So all children need to do to avoid pedophiles is, uh... *checks notes* "dress less slutty". I *wish* I lived in a world where pedophiles were genuinely waiting on feature films to deliver them a few shots of children in revealing clothing, instead of trading real CP that has caused untold suffering.

right? like. this point is so fucking useless. by this logic, we should ban everything with photos of children in it. if a paedophile is going to waste time going to see a full feature movie just to see some young girls twerking-- I mean, why would they in the first place? why would a paedophile do that when they can just sign on to TikTok and see thousands of hours of footage of young girls twerking? and if "revealing clothing" is all it takes, what's stopping this paedophile from going to the local pool and watching the kids in swimwear? what's stopping this paedophile from going and picking up a clothing catalogue and flipping to the pictures of little girls in dresses? the fact that people can compare the content of a feature-length film to actual CP fucking baffles me. like. it's actually insulting to compare things like that -- and by extension, any child on the street in a t-shirt or a dress or a skirt or a swimsuit -- to actual CP. like, who looks at a kid and thinks like that? if you want to stop paedophiles being creeps, you'd have to lock kids up in the house until they're 18 and ban all depictions of kids forever. paedophiles are gonna be creeps no matter what, and they're not going to bother with a full film when they can log onto TikTok and comment something creepy on footage of a real life child who might even message back and enter into communication with them. like, damn. why aren't more people getting mad and outraged about that?

Sometimes it really feels like people are more invested in weaponising the idea of suffering children in rhetoric, rather than the welfare of real children.

they are. "somebody please think of the children" is now the rallying cry of the right (all leading Democrats are secret paedophiles, the LGBT agenda is making Our Innocent Christian Children into perverts) and the left (problematic media is Harming Our Innocent Children, everything needs to be censored and squeaky clean so the Metaphorical Children don't stumble across it and think it's acceptable). it's the quickest way to get people outraged and it works like a charm. as soon as somebody starts rallying under the flag of protecting kids, it gives them a fast pass to power and influence. who wants to be seen to not care about kids? who wants to risk being called a paedophile or a child abuser? unfortunately their eagerness to declare everybody such has resulted in it losing its meaning. now when I see someone accused of paedophilia I no longer feel the usual revulsion but instead a tired suspicion followed by hours of research to determine if they are actually abusing children, or if they ship the wrong thing. to put the numbers into perspective, the one and only time I found out somebody was actually abusing minors, I was genuinely shocked because I had never found a true accusation before in oh, six years? which is unsurprising, seems I have been called a paedophile and told I shouldn't be around children because I like a villain from a YA series. as for real children, none of these people give a shit.

It's comforting to see at least one other person on this godforsaken planet comprehending that The Sexualised Children Shots Are Horrific On Purpose in this movie trying to push people out of complacency

that's exactly it right there -- it's horrific on purpose, but these people can't understand that. to them, literature and art and film is supposed to always make you feel good, and if it doesn't it's mean and abusive and you should have warned for it and also you're an asshole for making it in the first place. for people who only consume media to feel good, and only create it to feel progressive and wholesome, it's inconceivable why people would create something depressing or disturbing. because they're consuming media of only things they like, they assume everyone else is. ergo, if you make something nasty, it's because you're into something nasty. if you write about a murderous villain, it's because you want to be a murderous villain. if you direct a movie about children being sexually exploited, you must want to sexually exploit children.

these people cannot understand that art is supposed to teach and inform as well as comfort and coddle. some art is there to make you feel good, and other art is there to make you take notice of injustice and suffering and make you angry and upset enough to want to do something about it. these people do not understand that at all, and with this kind of logic they would try to ban Holocaust survivors from speaking at schools because it's too upsetting to think about, rather than paying attention to the message that such things get across. we cannot change society without empathy, and to experience empathy for something outside our own understanding and experience, we need to come into contact with people who have lived through it. we need to see it depicted. that's how we learn to feel for others. it puts a face to the suffering and makes it easier to stay motivated and stay mad.

but no. these people just want to be nice and fuzzy and safe. that's all that matters to them, and anyone who thinks they're wrong for doing it must be a paedophile or something. right. gotcha.

[hiriajuu-suffering]

Anime Hot Take: Goblin Slayer is more offensive than Redo of Healer

I totally understand why the anime community is collectively freaking about Redo of Healer not getting cancelled by normies like Shield Hero, Ishuzoku Reviewers, and Uzaki-chan. A lot of anime content creators are saying because anime [social] cancellation is based on clout chasing and it’s because Redo of Healer is a bad anime, and I disagree completely because Uzaki-chan is also a bad anime. As excessively raunchy Redo of Healer is, its offensiveness has more narrative backing than Goblin Slayer does for its world-building.

Elephant in the room: depictions of rape are poor artistic choices when the physical act is shown instead of heavily implied for the narrative. Both Goblin Slayer and Redo of Healer depict rape onscreen to get more attention for being edgy and raunchy, needlessly. People finding Shield Hero more offensive for involving a false rape allegation are missing the forest for the trees and there is no rape in Ishuzoku Reviewers. Goblin Slayer uses its rape scenes to objectify people we’re supposed to see from the perspective of, very clearly. Meaning, Goblin Slayer is asking for a self-objectification in order for you to be invested in the main casts’ goals. The effect of this is Goblin Slayer is really only showing these gratuitous rape scene(s) for shock value. Goblin Slayer is a Fantasy, not specifically an Isekai Revenge Fantasy like Redo of Healer is. Redo of Healer uses its rape scenes to subjectify people we’re supposed to see from the perspective of, making it fundamentally different and more aligned with Game of Thrones depictions of rape than Redo of Healer. In episode 1 of Redo of Healer, the main character is subjectified, not objectified. In episode 1 of Goblin Slayer, the rape scene objectifies the woman. The only other conclusion hyperfeminism could have to this incongruity is media that portrays sexual violence is more acceptable when male sexual violence is on the forefront, which is fucked. In episode 2 of Redo of Healer, the first antagonist is a female and the rape scene itself is sick and cruel, but not gratuitous in the way Goblin Slayer handles its rape scenes. Again, the character is subjectified and not objectified, which makes a lot of difference if media makes the morally abhorrent but logical choice to depict rape for views because it works. Redo of Healer already starts on better footing than Goblin Slayer because a central theme in Goblin Slayer is the objectification of life and experience while Redo of Healer works in that same theme with the subjectification of people’s lives and experiences.

Redo of Healer is ultimately a power fantasy like most other Isekai are, Goblin Slayer is intended to make you feel powerless. There is some subtlety in the way the author puts forward the narrative of “power makes people bad” in Redo of Healer, while the narrative choices in Goblin Slayer directly portray the message of “no matter how much power you have, you cannot affect the world”. Both are a criticism of power fantasy, but Redo of Healer is actually within its genre doing so, not looking from the outside-in and acting above the genre itself when it has taken over the anime industry. The plot structure in Goblin Slayer reads as if it’s better than the Isekai trend, making itself pretentious and thereby worse than the trend because it’s just mocking something popular because it’s popular. Redo of Healer actually looks into why this popularity exists and if it’s legitimately warranted or just feeding the vanity of its readers. In the first two episodes, the narrative has all this suffering going on written in a way so the reader actively disconnects from the normally self-insert protagonist in an Isekai. Goblin Slayer literally does the opposite with Priestess. The self-insert scenes in Redo of Healer are actually the opposite because they structure themselves in that way but do the opposite, you don’t want to be in any of those situations. When you weigh moral wrongs and aren’t afraid of playing the oppression Olympics for the sake of philosophical conjecture, Keyaru is enacting retribution in a manner reciprocally efficient or less compared to what he endured. You can see that via his intended final act of retribution of Flare being to make her his consensual sex object rather than everyone’s nonconsensual sex object as he originally was. The finger-breaking was his exchange for the deception, involuntary servitude, and general lack of empathy; regrettably, the sexual assault with bodily harmful object was for the forced drug addiction via symbolism analysis. He ends up healing all this anyway and not being overwhelmed by it, meaning everything he did was a small fraction of what had been done to him. It’s still revenge, but it’s nothing nearly as crazy as what was done to him and actually didn’t drag out as much as people say compared to goblin rape scenes in Goblin Slayer (some of them which didn’t need to exist narratively and were only there because author is insulting your intelligence, assuming you forgot it’s a thing because it assumes you’re an Isekai reader). Fair warning about Blade and Bullet though is they represent very real tropes on the social spectrum, Blade representing hyperfeminist ideologies to the point of outright misandry and Bullet representing men who degrade themselves just for being men, so a lot more people will have something to be butthurt about when that narrative realization comes to pass. Part of the way Redo of Healer compartmentalizes its characters into said tropes speaks to a larger picture of what the show intends to do, criticize the Isekai genre and its tropes instead of just mocking them like Goblin Slayer does.

The narrative structure of Redo of Healer reads like a hate letter to Isekai power fantasy writing, the narrative structure of Goblin Slayer reads like a roast to Isekai power fantasy writing. Hate letters are generally more honest and genuine than roasts, which sacrifice truth for the sake of being comedic. Goblin Slayer itself wasn’t even that funny though, it had moments but its humor was so self-contained, it only existed if you already were self-involved enough in the tropes, in which you were the one being roasted. Effectively, Goblin Slayer seeks to roast you with no audience, making the roast itself kind of pointless and belittling. Redo of Healer though criticizes Isekai writing on two fronts: the morality of the world (which Shield Hero already did pretty masterfully) and the reasonable scope of a self-insert protagonist. Living in a morally dark Isekai world that’s full of hell and suffering is something Rising of the Shield Hero did so well, it would be difficult to see it done better, but Redo of Healer follows the exact narrative thread Shield Hero does only in a far more sinister way. The difference is Redo of Healer takes the grinding element from Cautious Hero and totally removes the opportunity for it to be had and the end result is said self-insert Isekai protagonist being abused in the party instead of valued, it actually makes sense on a power scaling level if you place it in a world where the characterization of all humanity is made out to be shitty from the start (slave trading demi-humans, raping other people for mana, rulers with no actual empathy or morality, etc.). Redo of Healer’s setting emulates humanity from Chapter Black in Yu Yu Hakusho. In simpler terms, if any of these dudes popularizing Isekai self-inserts into Keyaru, they’re not overpowered for no reason like in other Isekais, they’re overpowered because they were already humbled to the extent where nothing could ever feel like redemption. Most of these people self-inserting probably aren’t as great as they think they are, but especially on the moral scale. Keyaru represents a broken version of that self-insert: a human that is fallible, can feel real negative emotions and act abhorrently on them, and isn’t overly resilient for plot convenience’s sake. Keyaru’s immensely busted skill comes at a heavy toll, meaning it was balanced but he broke it (like Maple did in Bofuri) because he was driven to madness. If you break the “overpowered for no reason” trope in both harem and Isekai, you ARE a criticism of both. Are there good anime that use this trope well? Slime is an example. But Kadokawa specifically has been tending to favor titles that are criticisms of Isekai rather than straight-up Isekais themselves, making this something they were willing to push to the forefront even though it borrows a little too much from hentai plots. If anything, Redo of Healer shows how frustrated the industry, from writer to publisher, has been with the Japanese otaku community when poorly written, power fantasy, self-insert shows like Sword Art Online become the face of otaku culture and starts a predatory profit-seeking trend of everything has to be Isekai for it to make money. Redo of Healer reaches for a larger criticism of why anime storytelling has gotten less substantive in the past decade and plunges its hands into the depths of the filth and degeneracy that’s being promoted. It’s a meta-criticism to make what you’re putting out there so horrific it becomes nearly impossible to connect with.

Do I like Redo of Healer? No, absolutely not. Do I think it sends a loud and clear message to viewers who know how to analyze a piece of fiction with good depth and nuance? Yes. Goblin Slayer does not do that, Goblin Slayer itself is just an amusement park ride you’re supposed to enjoy, but they jolt you with shock value to get you invested, making its plot threads and themes gimmicky at best. Redo of Healer actually does what Goblin Slayer was going for in shock value and makes you so numb to it you actually realize how devolved Isekai storytelling is, adding its attention grabbing mechanism as short hentai clips like Ishuzoku Reviewers did. As for why Shield Hero was mentioned so much, it’s because the characterization of Blade specifically goes after those who were trying to get Shield Hero cancelled for its narrative thread. Blade is the worst representation of that, worship and veneration of femininity in a patriarchal context which ultimately results in the worship of power and existing power structures which promote said power to the point where queerness (in love of femininity) somehow excuses deplorability since postmodern queerness never actively promotes masculinity as something that can function as socially just. Flare, Blade, and Bullet all show more toxic masculinity individually in the first 3 chapters/episodes than Keyaru, and that was a deliberate writing choice. The reason why Redo of Healer isn’t actively being socially cancelled is because its biggest statement is “people are shit” and that’s an okay statement for normies.

Normies are coming after Nagatoro because it normalizes and almost makes light of real bullying. I think us weeaboos need to understand that bullying is a higher impact problem than rape being depicted in media if we’re fighting on the hill of “violent video games don’t encourage violence”. I find Nagatoro more difficult to understand the narrative intent of than Redo of Healer, the fact the weeaboo community is disconnected from that means we’re only looking at things on the surface level and are too within ourselves to know what real world problems actually have ripple effects on human behavior. The reason why we accept Nagatoro is because we know the two main characters eventually become involved and Hachioji could handle it to the point he consented to it. In pretty much all scenarios you have a mean girl bullying someone, regardless of gender, that’s not what happens: the person is left scarred, changed, and with significant platonic trust issues into adulthood. Rape is an issue that’s handled with so little care because of patriarchy and power struggles, people are generally far more numb to it than seeing actual mental and verbal abuse just being glossed over because “he’s a guy, he’s less of one if he can’t handle it”. Anime generally is going the way of Scum’s Wish where there’s more morally abhorrent characterizations of humanity than morally neutral ones, and all of these anime that stir controversy is a reflection of said fact. Having said that, Redo of Healer is willing to go way farther down into the abyss instead of just looking at it from the edge of the hole like Goblin Slayer does, then seeing scenes for shock value when you use telescope to look. For the reason Goblin Slayer thinks it’s above an Isekai while commodifying abhorrence to draw attention, I actually find Redo of Healer to be less offensive.

[bndz]

(jennie kim, twenty-three, cisfemale, she/her) * hey, i’m looking for the office of valencia lee. they’re the intern who’s known around the office as the paris hilton, if that helps? not to be a gossip, but i’ve heard that they’re outgoing but two-faced, is that true? i also heard that they’re the one who lost her virginity in the broom closet. anyways, here’s the coffee they ordered.

omg  hey  y’all  !  it’s  so  good  to  be  back  .  my  name’s  tay  ,  your  fave  powerpuff  girl  addict  !  this  is  my  baby  valencia  ,  the  most  annoying  little  spoiled  brat  ever  !  a  little  about  me  ?  i  thought  you  never  would’ve  asked  .  well  ,  i  am  currently  studying  to  become  a  teacher  ,  i  love  fashion  &  makeup  ,  a  textbook  gemini  &  pop  culture  connoisseur.  anyways  ,  i  have  some  points  about  valencia  below  .  i  am  so  excited  to  rp  with  y’all  omg  .  i  have  been counting  down  the  days  !

𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒔  !

NAME   :    valencia  lee  . GENDER   :   cisfemale  . PRONOUNS   :   she  /  her  /  hers  . AGE   :   twenty-three  (  23  )  . BIRTHDAY   :   18  april  . ZODIAC   :   aries  . HOMETOWN  :  las  vegas  ,  nevada  . CURRENT  RESIDENCE  : new york city  , new york  . ETHNICITY   :   korean  -  american  . SEXUAL ORIENTATION   :   bisexual  . OCCUPATION  :  intern  .  (  social  media department  )

𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅  !

FAMILY   :    growing  up  in  las  vegas  to  an  erotic  fiction  author  (  anna  lee  )  &  a  chain  casino  owner  (  jiwon  lee  )  ,  valencia  was  highly  neglected  for  a  good  portion  of  her  life  .  up  until  like  eleven  years  old  ,  valencia  was  raised  by  a  rotation  of  nannies  .  her  parents  threw  whatever  she  wanted  at  her  to  make  up  for  lost  time  ,  but  attention  was  what  valencia  truly  wanted  .  although  valencia  didn’t  mind  being  spoiled  ,  in  the  back  of  her  mind  she  truly  wanted  time  with  her  parents  .  

being  that  her  parents  were  pretty  absent  ,  valencia  got  away  with  a lot  .  you  couldn’t  even  really  call  it  rebelling  because  her  parents  didn’t  really  care  what  she  did  as  long  as  she  didn’t  get  in  trouble  with  authority  .  she  would  do  things  on  purpose  to  get  reprimanded  because  she  just  wanted  her  parents  to  see  her  .  in  addition  ,  i  wouldn’t  really  say  she  is  close  with  her  parents  like  that  ,  but  it’s  not  really  a  negative  relationship  either.  she’s  almost  like  an  accessory  to  them  &  they  are  a  bank  account  to  her  .

also  ,  valencia  is  the  middle  child  ,  so  that  has  a  big  influence  on  her  relationship  with  her  parents.  middle  child  syndrome   ?  she  has  that  !  

SCHOOL   :  valencia  wasn’t  really  that  good  of  a  student  ,  honestly  .  she  barely  did  her  work  &  really  only  went  to  school  to  socialize  .  she  was  sent  to  a  private  catholic  school  ,  but  got  kicked  out  her  freshman  year  so  she  had  to  go  to  public  school  .  she  didn’t  really  care  though  because  school  was  school  .  

her  parents  tried  to  enforce  education  being  important  ,  but  knew  that  valencia  really  wasn’t  going  for  it  .  she  was  just  a  lazy  student  &  never  really  pushed  herself  when  it  came  to  her  academics  .  this  caused  her  to  skip  school  to  hang  out  with  her  friends  &  by  her  senior  year  she  was  flunking  to  the  max  .  she  knew  she  couldn’t  tell  her  parents  she  flopped  out  of  school  so  she  forged  her  diploma  &  faked  that  she  was  sick  af  on  her  graduation  day  to  make  it  seem  like  she  graduated  hs  when  in  reality  ,  she  did  not  .  

because  her  parents  didn’t  really  have  much  expectations  for  her  ,  they  wanted  her  to  at  least  get  into  a  bare  minimum  college  ,  so  she  forged  acceptance  letters  &  would  go  around  vegas  when  she  was  supposed  to  have  class  .  her  parents  caught  wind  of  it  after  three  years  &  were  legit  pissed  .  they  threatened  her  multiple  times  that  if  she  didn’t  get  her  act  together  they  were  going  to  cut  her  off  .  they  never  really  fell  through  with  it  ,  so  she’s  still  gallivanting  around  with  their  black  cards  . 

MASTER’S  :  getting  the  job  at  master’s  with  no  type  of  work  experience  was  like  a  fever  dream  .  the  only  reason  she  was  looking  into  the  company  was  because  her  parents  were  continuously  nagging  her  about  being  a  mooch.  she  was  ,  but  that  wasn’t  her  fault  !  at  twenty  -  two  ,  valencia  was  googling  places  that  had  open  internships  that  were  considered  easy  &  fell  on  master’s.  it  was  in  nyc  ,  which  she  loved  &  was  a  top  company  .  she  wouldn’t  even  deny  that  her  parents  helped  her  get  the  job  &  she  was  off  to  nyc.  she’s  been  an  intern  for  a  year  &  doesn’t  really  see  herself  moving  up  .  she’s  just  here  to  make  sure  she  doesn’t  go  broke  &  to  have  as  much  fun  as  possible  . 

𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚  !

OUTGOING   :   val  loves  to  meet  new  people.  she  has  always  been  extroverted  ,  even  if  she  can  sometimes  rub  people  the  wrong  way  .

TWO-FACED   :   this  girl  is  fake  as  fuck  99  %  of  the  time  ,  y’all  .  she  will  smile  in  your  face  &  turn  around  &  stab  you  in  the  back  .  she  doesn’t  really  consider  loyalty  a  concept  that  she  is  competent  in  because  she  is  usually  friends  with  people  that  she  can  gain  something  from  .  she  will  openly  admit  that  she  doesn’t  care  for  people  &  then  act  like  she  said  nothing  of  the  sort  seconds  later  .  she  just  likes  to  stir  the  pot  &  talk  big  shit  lbr  .

BRATTY   :  because  she  was  spoiled  her  whole  life  ,  she  has  this  notion  that  things  should  be  handed  to  her  .  if  she  doesn’t  get  her  way  it  will  ruin  her  whole  mood  &  then  she  will proceed  to  try  &  ruin  everyone’s  mood  with  her  annoying  ass  behavior  .  beware  ,  she  will  complain  a  lot  !

LAZY  :  she  has  never  worked  a  day  in  her  life  &  it  shows  !  she  will  refuse  to  do  things  if  she  feels  as  though  it’s  an  inconvenience  to  her  .  she  will  sit  around  on  her  phone  &  ignore  her  duties  .  valencia  will  literally  do  things  on  her  own  time  just  to  get  a  rise  out  of  people  .  she’s  terrible  !

UNFILTERED  :  she  really  just  says  what  she  wants  because  she  went  unchecked  growing  up  .  she’s  just  a  little  mouthy  .  she’s  not  gonna insult  you  ruthlessly  ,  but  she  is  brutally  honest  &  doesn’t  think  before  she  speaks  .

**  also  ,  the  reason  why  her  label  is  the  paris  hilton  is  because  her  personality  is  loosely  based  off  of  paris  .  like  y2k  era  paris  that  was  terrible  to  lindsay  &  brit  &  was  like  lindsay  invited  herself  to  their  little  c*ke  binge  clubbing  nights  .  she’s  not  fake  dumb  like  paris  &  doesn’t  have  her  fake  voice  ,  but  more  -  so  her  little  bratty  ass  ,  unfiltered  mean  girl  vibes  that  was  saying  &  doing  reckless  shit  for  attention  &  to  get  under  people’s  skin  .  **

𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔  !

001  .  an  ex  -  relationship  .  was  she  using  them  for  the  attention  ?  probably  . 002  .  a  best  friend  .  she’s  fake  with  them  too  ,  but  y’know  .  this  girl  does  not  know  the  definition  of  loyalty  .   003  .  a  boss  .  they  probably  cannot  stand  her  ass  &  makes  her  do  the  most  knowing  she  hates  working  .  she’s  probably  in  the  social  media  department  ,  so  there’s  that  for  you  . anything  really  .  i  am  not  creative  when  it  comes  to  plots omg  .

𝒇𝒖𝒏  𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔  !

001  .  she  is  left  -  handed  . 002  .  collects  juicy  couture  tracksuits  . 003  .  the  epitome  of  cherry  emoji  twt  when  it  comes  to  her  style  . 004  .  has  a  love  for  cooking  &  is  actually  good  at  it  . 005  .  is  highly  allergic  to  peanuts  . 

[lochnessies]

Hey same anon from that long post you made earlier. I wasn't trying to say that the church of Serios is an ACTUAL threat and evil or whatever. At worst the Church is kinda shady sometimes.

What I mean is the knights of Seiros are more able to actively do things without having to sneak around or needing stealth or whatever. Hypothetically, if Rhea wanted to attack the empire during the war, she could send the knights of Seiros to a place and wreckshop.

If TWISTD wanted to attack the empire, they'd have to be sneaky as fuck and would probably have trouble since Edelgard kind of knows what kind of sneaky shit they'd pull?

Like, if she worked with rhea (which she wouldn't since she paranoid af) to take out the snake men and then went "alright time to fuck up the church". She'd absolutely get her shot stomped. If she takes out the church and THEN goes "alright time for operation: fuck the molemen" then she has a chance (Since for whatever reason TWSITD can't just go and march to wherever to fuck shit up, or atleast not without having empire troops to back them up).

As for why she teams up with them in the first place... I don't fucking know. At first glance it SEEMS as though TWSITD are basically puppeting Edelgard, yet she's got way too much freedom (her insulting them, etc.) to be strictly some unwilling pawn. At the same time, Edelgard seems to absolutely loathe those fuckers and their actions.

Still at a point TWSITD clearly had more power then Edelgard with their replacement of some noble and the experiments and shit. Honestly it seems like TWSITD DID have power over Edelgard up until some point. It's just that at a point they failed at holding the reins and Edelgard was able to get more power independent of them and suddenly "master and minion" became "barely a partnership" so they went "okay whatever we've got other weapon and she might talk shit but so long as she does what we want and doesnt act against us we cool."

And then Edelgard takes control of the Adrestian Empire, ousts a lot of the nobles that were buds with the molemen, and suddenly they aren't really able to rein her in that much anymore. I dunno, their relationship is weird (much like everything involving them).

Hey same anon from that long post you made earlier. I wasn't trying to say that the church of Serios is an ACTUAL threat and evil or whatever. At worst the Church is kinda shady sometimes.

hey nonnie!! sorry if the first time i came off a bit bitchy. it’s hard to tell people intentions at times especially since my acc gets annoying anons who very clearly want to start a fight lol also sorry for long with i just ⭐️ s u c k ⭐️ at time management

What I mean is the knights of Seiros are more able to actively do things without having to sneak around or needing stealth or whatever. Hypothetically, if Rhea wanted to attack the empire during the war, she could send the knights of Seiros to a place and wreckshop.

honestly, i would agree with this assessment if we weren’t shown again and again that the church of seiros has a very small number of knights. like, it’s addressed more than once that at the slightest bit of trouble they’re stretched thin. then the fact that edel takes them out in ONE day

If TWISTD wanted to attack the empire, they'd have to be sneaky as fuck and would probably have trouble since Edelgard kind of knows what kind of sneaky shit they'd pull?

or they could just kill some other noble or hell, even ionius, hubert, or edel herself. like, there’s more than one way to attack an empire when you have the ability to shapeshift. it doesn’t have to be through war. just take over the throne and puppeteer mass destruction.

Like, if she worked with rhea (which she wouldn't since she paranoid af) to take out the snake men and then went "alright time to fuck up the church". She'd absolutely get her shot stomped. If she takes out the church and THEN goes "alright time for operation: fuck the molemen" then she has a chance (Since for whatever reason TWSITD can't just go and march to wherever to fuck shit up, or atleast not without having empire troops to back them up).

the problem is that why should she want to take out the church? what have they done to her? they’re not even in the empire at all so her reasoning is still faulty. taking out the church of seiros shouldn’t even be a factor in all this because taking out twsitd should be the number one priority.

and this isn’t even a case of ‘well she believes it so you can’t fault her’ and more of a case of ‘did edelgard learn anything about her own empire?’ because like… if she’s paranoid why the hell would the most logical choice be to join the people who have personally victimized her and not literally anybody else? i would trust the crack addict on the street before i trust these guys.

As for why she teams up with them in the first place... I don't fucking know. At first glance it SEEMS as though TWSITD are basically puppeting Edelgard, yet she's got way too much freedom (her insulting them, etc.) to be strictly some unwilling pawn. At the same time, Edelgard seems to absolutely loathe those fuckers and their actions.

hubert says she teams up with them bc he said too. but as to why he came up with such an idea? idk guess he was dropped on his head one too many times as a child.

Still at a point TWSITD clearly had more power then Edelgard with their replacement of some noble and the experiments and shit. Honestly it seems like TWSITD DID have power over Edelgard up until some point. It's just that at a point they failed at holding the reins and Edelgard was able to get more power independent of them and suddenly "master and minion" became "barely a partnership" so they went "okay whatever we've got other weapon and she might talk shit but so long as she does what we want and doesnt act against us we cool."

And then Edelgard takes control of the Adrestian Empire, ousts a lot of the nobles that were buds with the molemen, and suddenly they aren't really able to rein her in that much anymore. I dunno, their relationship is weird (much like everything involving them).

indeed it is all weird as hell. but in the end, there’s still no logical reason as to why edelgard allies herself with them. literally none. she doesn’t even have to ally with the church. if she’s distrustful of them for whatever reason then go to the kingdom. dimitri clearly has a hatred of the ones who killed his family. just become buddies with him again and start to plan what they want to do when they’re adults and how they want to kill twsitd. even if she doesn’t remember her relationship with him she should know from personal experiences how one might want revenge for their family.

[ryuichirou]

Hi, Ryu❤️ Hope u’r doing well❤️

Since u’r talking about ships lately, I’m really curious to hear your opinion about Aru//Ani, its execution, development and progression throughout the whole plot👀, if it’s not a problem and especially if u have the time to. Its shippers claim Isym has been doing a great build up since FT arc (???) and that, despite the lack of development onscreen, the dynamic makes sense (???) cause they “complete” each other and they learnt how to “love and respect” each other throughout the past 4 years (???!!!).

And... I don’t know, Ryu: I really tried to consider their pov, even reread the A/A interactions and look at the dynamic with shipping goggles on, but I really failed to see and understand what they claim. Actually, I keep seeing this dynamic as insulting not just for Armin and Annie’s characters in first place, but also for Eren, Mikasa, Hitch and Berthold. Moreover, it seems nothing but an addiction made out for fanservice, cause it serves absolutely nothing to the plot: if u cut their interactions post 131ch, the story wouldn’t change in the least. Also, their interactions weren’t even that romantic and weren’t focused at all about their supposed “crush” for each other. I personally believe Armin is using Annie as coping mechanism and/or just a mean to substitute Eren; whereas Annie is substituting Armin with her father, cause she feels adrift and desperate, and seeks for someone who cherishes her and appreciates her for the person she is no matter the harsh things she did in the past (I’m crying for Hitch in the mid time....). Other than that, I’m believing also in Berthold’s influence on Armin, cause it’s the only explanation for the sudden interest of boy towards girl, that happen to begin exactly after he ate Berthold: it can’t be just a coincidence imo.

So yeah, at the end of the day, I’m pretty sad cause I used to love both the characters and now I’m much conflicted atm, cause I see nothing but a huge derailment for both and a waste for Annie’s one, who’s developing literally over a love interest... And it’s a very huge pity to me.

Sorry for the big ask, lol... I have this weight on my chest and I confess it’s actually ruining my love for SnK: I feel like everything after 131ch started sucking pretty hard... Plus, the fandom became more toxic than ever😔😔😔

I was waiting for someone to ask me about them eventually, and honestly... Anon, you're such a big mood lol

You’ve guessed correctly: I don’t like AruAni. Not because we personally don’t ship it, but because it doesn’t make sense and (for now) it’s unclear what it the purpose of this storyline and if there’s even going to be a purpose. I don’t recommend anyone shipping them reading my reply.

Basically, Anon, you’ve described everything perfectly, so I’m just going to agree with all your points. I also don’t see a reason for Armin to have this type of love for Annie. I see a coping mechanism, I see something to escape to from the Eren problem, I can even see a self-punishment of sorts, but I don’t see that sweet crush we’re led to believe is there. See, Armin didn’t even know Annie that well. They talked like twice, and then the Female Titan thing happened, and then… he was talking to her for years, but he still never learnt anything about her. How can he love her if he doesn’t even know who the fuck Annie is? And yeah, it’s convenient Bertold timing, I wonder if it’s going to come up later.

We feel like it’s unfair to other characters. It’s also extremely unfair to Hitch that’s also been here for Annie for all those years but didn’t get the special treatment for some reason. Like... their reasoning would be pretty much the same, they could’ve made Hitch her love interest for all the same reasons.

It’s unfair to Annie herself, because, based on what we know about her, she’s drawn to stubborn idiots going against the flow. Because she herself could never do that. This is the point of her character: she could never stand against what people asked her to do, even when she knew it was useless or wrong. This is why Eren intrigues her, this is why Marlo intrigues her.

Of course I’m biased here, and don’t get me wrong: I don’t see EreAnnie becoming a canon thing either lol and I talked about how I don’t care about ships being canon in general a bunch of times already. I’m saying this as an example of a dynamic that actually... works for her type of character. But all the development Annie’s got was kickstarted by Eren being interested in her fighting style and being the first person who legitimately interested her on this island (and who was interested in her too to some extent, at least interested in something she was proud of and deeply loved). She also deeply appreciated it, they had funny dialogues together, and he was the first and only person she had flirted with, which is a huge step for a character as shy, distant and serious as Annie. Seeing her now blushing for Armin looks like a joke when you keep these things in mind. You can listen to his stories all you want, but it’s strictly one-sided. And, like I said, Hitch can also have the same chances with this type of logic. Their pie-eating scene has more chemistry than all AruAni moments.

The “good person/bad person” dialogue with Armin doesn’t feel like a development to me because they were just mirroring each other’s thoughts, so it’s like talking to yourself…

Ok, that was a little bit off topic lol. But yeah, this is why for now we think that either there will be a twist of sorts (i’ll take killing Armin as a twist) or the editor just made Isayama push this narrative, since Isayama doesn’t strike me as a type who likes romance that much or ships his own characters, plus he used romance for proving the cruel world motif so many times already. Or this is just exactly what it is, a last minute het romance, and we’ll end up sitting there like bitter losers being all upset, Anon haha

The fandom’s always going toxic and pretty feral as soon as het couples pop up, and in general huge fanbases mean nothing good unless you want that sweet clout to make money or get attention, so the only thing I can advice you is to distance yourself from them so that it won’t ruin your SnK experience even more. I don’t know you or your feelings, but I think you’re just upset about AruAni thing, this is why the manga sucks to you right now (well, you basically said it yourself, if I got you correctly). And that’s fine and we’re annoyed by this thing a lot too, so we can definitely understand this sentiment. Personally, we pretend like this bs romance never happened so it won’t ruin our experience, and we’ll see what to think about it when SnK is over. Like, what if it’s just a plot device and we get ourselves worried about nothing? I wanna believe that... :”)

And can I just… use this chance to say how frustrated I am that the majority of Annie content there is is either AruAni or BerAni (or the trio)? It’s like she isn’t important when she’s not in the context of those relationships… It upsets me a lot.

Let me just say this… Reiner had more development with Annie than Armin and Bertolt combined. There, I said it. And Reiner’s fucking gay.

Overall, we’ll see how everything plays out, and then you can come again to us and we’ll bitch together lol

[corancoranthemagicalman]

C’s (1/?) Destiel Rec List:

That gets less and less coherent as it goes.

So here is a rec list by order in which I read them and not by preference. They’re like, All Destiel, because that’s how Post-November C rolls:

First on the list is The Courtship of Combat by bendingsignpost 18k

I KNOW it’s not Thee fic by bendingsignpost that everyone is talking about. I know. BUT, I dearly enjoyed it. It’s the first in a series and it’s A/B/O. (I know. I know. Don’t @ me. Or do.) It’s pre-relationship and the characters are definitely themed toward early-Destiel if you catch my drift. Omega!Dean’s hand is being fought over. This wouldn’t matter to Castiel except he totally told Michael that the reason he wouldn’t marry anyone is because he’s head over heels for the Winchester Omega that he doesn’t even have a real recollection of ever meeting. It’s like the perfect balance of a meet-cute and meet-ugly. I just LOVE bendingsignpost’s Castiel voice. It’s such a great characterization.

I’M GONNA SCREAM THE SECOND ON THE LIST IS ANOTHER A/B/O?!? I swear I don’t read that much A/B/O, but this is another exception because it’s Biological Imperatives (Or Not) by tiamatv  29k

Tiamatv is one of my favorite writers. If you’re unfamiliar with their work, I’m gonna rec more of it to you. No worries. THIS lovely piece of work is a Beta/Beta narrative that focuses on how hilarious A/B/O tropes are from an outsider perspective, but doesn’t do it in a way that feels insulting to the classical tropes. It’s just people living their lives where these situations happen not often but enough that they know how to deal with it. Dean and Cas have several first dates trying to figure out what’s happening between the two of them. Castiel is thee love of my life in this piece. And Dean’s headspace makes for a witty narrative.

If you know me at all, you know this next one HAD to be a regency and it’s Of Lords and Letters by MalMuses 14k

Dean is the master of the Winchester estate after his father passes. Unfortunately for the estate (but much to Dean’s pleasure), he can’t run it personally because he’s at war. Not that he likes war all that much, but it’s what he knows. War he knows. Sam is a conniving but well-meaning little brother and puts him in contact with Mister Castiel Shurley. (I KNOW. I KNOW. I allow Castiel Shurley in recent fics only if Chuck is cast as an asshole, and he is :)) But seriously, it’s SO Regency. There’s letters, pining, propriety, and men in period suits. What more could you ask for?

Y’all probably gonna immediately peg who I am as a person when I say Always Together, Eternally Apart by EmiliaOagi 27k is probably one of my top ten Destiel fics.

Here’s the thing—Ladyhawke is probably my second favorite movie in the entire world beat only by The Princess Bride. (Seriously, if y’all wanna bribe me with anything, it will always be that.) NOT ONLY does EmiliaOagi beautifully incorporate the source material, but once more Dean Winchester is SO Dean Winchester it hurts. This piece is from Sam’s perspective, and his running inner monologue is both insightful and entertaining. If you’re unfamiliar with the plot of Ladyhawke, I refuse to spoil it for you. Some things must be experienced, and this is one of them. Either by reading this lovely work or by viewing the original film, you’ll understand the legend that so captivates me.

OH ANOTHER DELICIOUS ONE and it’s like in that vein of Retired Hunters But Not Yet Together Destiel is Welcome to Pine Shores! by andimeantittosting (Saylee) 20k

It’s always fun reading Dean character studies, and this is definitely one of them. So the long and short of it is PINING FOR DAYS (this was written for Pinefest) and Dean trying to set up Cas with other people because he thinks Cas might want more. Oh, and did I mention they’ve been running this motel for like thirteen years? And they share a bed? *Tropes Intensify*

There is also Dean Winchester and the Patron Saint of Blind Dates by goldenraeofsun 18k which I think some of y’all are familiar with.

Sort of what it says on the tin, to be honest, folks. Dean’s friends set him up with some blind dates and the bartender—Castiel—grips his Purple Nurple tight and raises him from perdition. (And no, it’s not a euphemism.) The dates are sort of outrageously in character and interestingly enough this is a Sam/Ruby fic too! I sort of liked how it played out in this piece. If you’re worried about the Sam/Ruby dynamic, fear not! They were both former addicts and have since been clean for (a year or two? I don’t recall the time frame.) Dean has a love/hate sort of relationship with an emphasis on hate with Ruby since she’s the one who got Sam into drugs (allegory for the demon blood) but she’s also the one to try to go clean first. I just thought that was an interesting take, and one I would’ve linked to have seen the show pursue to be honest, but Supernatural has to keep the hot ladies dead or villains or both haha ;)) I digress. It’s a smaller read but the subject matter is pretty heavy. From former religious cults to the former addicts, please keep in mind if mentions of these things make you uncomfortable. It’s definitely the one whose subject matter stuck out the most to me. So apologize if I’ve missed mentioning anything specific for y’all in the previous recs or this one.

WAIT THIS NAME LOOKS FAMILIAR!??! IT’S andimeantittosting (Saylee) BACK AT IT AGAIN BUT THIS TIME WITH The Winchester Affair 34k !!

SAYLEE YOU HAD TO MAKE IT ONTO THIS LIST TWICE. Another Regency, except this time Castiel is long time friends (with benefits *eyebrow wiggles*) with Dean. He’s in love with him, obviously, so this means that an asshole named Zachariah that we all know and loathe comes around planning to frame his poor sister (Hael) with stealing Mary Winchester’s brooch if Castiel doesn’t find some damning evidence on the Winchesters for him. DRAMA AHOY!!! This is a very harlequin/regency novel. It’s actually based off of a novel called Ware the Marquess as is the wont of the Destiel Harlequin Challenge. Very good challenge to check out; very excellent fic to read. And the author so nice we listed them twice. ;) SIDE NOTE: This is totally one of those Regency ones where It Simply Isn’t Done, if you know what I mean. Like, no one is outright slurring or something that I can recall (and it isn’t tagged so I doubt there is), but it Isn’t Done, But They Love Each Other Very Much.

So you guys know Scoobynatural is my comfort episode, right? Well, one of my favorite things that I’ve delightfully discovered is the trope of building off of Cas’ one-liner about being effin’ married, so have The Nikkah by Maxine (WinchesterPooja) 28k!

Reads like a Case-fic as there’s an entire sub-plot happening with Sam. So this story happens well within the canon despite being canon-divergent. This one does end happy!! There’s a view episode like fics I might rec that end in canon-fashion with Dean repression and I love the pining and all but sometimes I need sweet fandom closure. Long and short of it: Djinn culture? Djinn queen? Fake-relationships? Sam dealing with nightmares? This baby can fit SO MUCH ACTION into a fic.

Okay, so you know the fic with the Bee Movie allegory? (It’ll come up on this reclist.) This has the same vibe, except for the relationship is out of order and Dean is Diagnosed with If I Do It This Way It’s Okay. Yeah, it’s Command Me to Be Well by prosopopeya 28k

Human Cas, back from the dead, post-finale, and Dean is trying to figure out how to get his happy ending. I’ve seen this one make the rounds on fic rec’ing so I think it’s a bit familiar, but I enjoyed it. Even though—as my bookmark says—I usually don’t go in for hurt/comforts with heavy on the hurt because my poor heart can’t take it. This is one of my few exceptions. This one has a healthy dose of Castiel standing up for himself with the bittersweet tang of him literally willing to do so much for Dean. But it’s a Dean perspective, so it really deals with a lot of his inner thoughts.

This one is,,,, in a similar vein as Command Me to Be Well. I guess I was in a mood. Baby, Come On Home by woodenducks 9k.

IT’S SEASON NINE WITH A SIDE OF PINE. What more could you ask for angst? Human Cas in Rexford trying to make a life for himself when all he wants is to go home. But he’s also trying to figure out what home even is for him. There’s a lot of drama between Dean and Cas, because of course Dean wants him there. But blah blah angels and blah blah whatever excuse the writers wanted so we couldn’t have human Cas and Dean in the bunker. We KNOW obviously the only thing keeping canon Dean from snapping was the fact that Cas was not human around him. *heavy eyeroll*. Anyways, this is a heartbreaking read from Castiel’s perspective.

One of my favorite Rescue Cas from the Empty fics is (they'll never break) the shape we take by auroralynches (teresavampa) 9k.

There’s this super cool concept of how Castiel experiences his regrets within the Empty and how Dean navigates through them to get to Castiel. I really enjoyed it, and of course the greatest love story ever told has got to have SOME theatrics and sentiments that are definitely reflected in this fic. My point is, I really love when Empty Rescue fics include analyzing Castiel’s regrets, and this one does so but from Dean’s perspective. As in Dean is viewing Castiel’s memories and trying to perceive his regrets.

Sooooo Epistolary by tiamatv 9k eh?

I love love LOVEEEEEE epistolary fics. I love them. I’ll always read them. And I totally told you I loved tiamatv. This is probably another one for the top ten fics just because it plays into my things. Love letters, music, and misunderstandings, oh my!!

HERE’S A VERY SEXY TERRIBLE LIFE ----> Ties that Bind Us by TheTwistedWillow 13k

Okay, so BASICALLY what if It’s A Terrible Life happened in like, circa-season 13 and Castiel was thrown in with Dean Smith and Sam Wesson. Literally all that I wanted in this fic. I do mean it’s sexy, by the way. I can’t even begin to explain this fic beyond it’s Castiel’s perspective, and he has some awareness that something is off. And being inside Castiel’s head when he’s not Castiel gets me every time.

OKAY I KNOW THIS IS THE THIRD A/B/O FIC ON THIS LIST I KNOW I KNOW The Mills School for Distinguished Girls by SillyBlue 13k IS WORTH IT THOUGH?!?!

Alpha Dean Winchester is going off to war. In the meantime, his family still doesn’t know about his marriage to Omega Castiel (in fact, they still think Castiel is a Beta.) Male Omegas are very rare in this universe, and it is addressed along with the fact that just because Castiel might look different on the outside doesn’t make him any different than the girls. Which I thought was a thought-provoking interpretation. There’s prejudices here—a lot of them against women and omegas—and a temporary character death which actually moved me to tears. I bookmarked this saying bring the tissues; bring the tissues.

THE BEE MOVIE FIC THE BEE MOVIE FIC THE BEE MOVI— according to all known laws of life by sobsicles 29k sobsicles I owe you a great slice of pie.

Sobsicles, my beloved, my bestie <3 (am I allowed to say that? I mean it affectionately. Well and truly.) You REALLY got in my head with this one. This is literally such an insane read that I read it twice in a row. Yeah, whoops. Cas is back from the empty and Dean is an asshole about it because feelings are hard. Here is what I bookmarked this fic with: “Dean Winchester has issues. He gets through them. Like a Bull in a China Shop, but he gets through them. The metaphor works.” And that is EXACTLY what happens. Dean is such an asshole and I LOVE IT. 14yr me would cry at the concept of reading this but 14yr me is a tasteless bitch. This is where it’s at. Dean has so much he’s mentally working through and Cas won’t take no shit and Sam is tired. It’s great. I love it. I know we rec sobsicles left and right over here (and I know there’s a new one I haven’t read yet) but this one is really my favorite. And I know some people feel uncertain when fics/authors get popular in a fandom, so if this isn’t for you that’s okay!! But well and truly this is just one of those in the top ten Destiel fics of my heart.

Baby Jack during the Widower Arc truther here like Trial and Tribulations of Raising a Nephilim by Sickandtiredofyou 14k

I’ve seen this one rec’d before but not enough. Like this one SHOULD be talked about. Because I am a Baby Jack Truther, and putting a baby in the widower arc is my literal weakness. Dean goes crib shopping. He paints the nursery. He does that season 2&3 thing he does where he wrecks something so that he has to rebuild it. He’s mourning. He’s crying. Sam is afraid to hold a baby. There’s a lot of emotions and they’re raw. Promise there’s a happy ending, but be ready to cry first.

Another sam pov because i love my little brother Letters to Nowhere by Goodluckdetective (scorpiontales) 28k

AWWW YES. So this is another Empty Rescue fic. This one plays up the Orpheus and Eurydice lore, but in a surprising twist this is Sam’s POV!! Sam doesn’t know the full story, and we as the audience aren’t granted omnipresence for this fic either. It’s just point blank is his emotions. Him worrying for Dean, missing Cas, and wanting a happy ending for all of them. It’s sort of epistolary with how Sam is texting Castiel’s phone, but in general it is Sam Winchester wanting to save both of his brothers. So despite it being Destiel, the Destiel is almost the background ship since this story is Sam’s story and how Sam witnesses their story. It’s pretty meta in that sense, in that he’s aware there’s this grand story going on and we as an audience know there’s this grand love story happening, but we’re reading Sam’s story.

One of those i mentioned where its like an episode and they just end with tension between them >:((( but SO enjoyable and very much like an actual MotW Soul Searching by Lottiethroughthelookingglass 13k

It is in a screenplay format, but I didn’t mind that. It’s definitely a fun read! I thought the characterizations were pretty grand all-in-all. No get together though in this one if you’re looking for Destiel. Sorry. But it does make its way on to the list because we deserved a body swap episode and never got it.

This is like the third fic by tia and im not sorry and it’s Filoplume by tiamatv 8k !!!!

Its SOULMATES BAYBEEEE!!! But it’s not destined Soulmates. It’s like… soul compatibility, but only AFTER you’ve forged the bond. Self-Made Soulmates as it were. Very achingly and lovingly sentimental. Like, I think I’ve read this one four times in one week? It’s the shortest rec on this list (and while I definitely have shorter works bookmarked, I wanted this rec list to be longer ones for some reason I guess) but it feels longer. Maybe because every paragraph is like a gut punch. egGH. It’s another Empty Rescue by-the-by and Dean’s soulmark (given to him by Cas after Castiel’s Despair Confession) helps get him into the Empty.

OHOHOH LEVERAGE AU!!?! The Jericho Job by giantteenwolforgy 20k

The first in a series and I am SO EXCITED FOR MORE. I absolutely adore Leverage, so seeing this was like clearing my skin with care products I’ve never used. The characterizations are amazingly well done and vivid. They feel so unbelievably real and it makes me an eager beaver to get to the meat of them connecting as a team and family, but the slow burn is well worth it.

Yes, yes, Dean needs him, and need = love for Dean’s vocab but what does dEAN WANT and what does want mean to Dean? Find out in if you try sometimes, well you just might find by JenTheSweetie 9k

I’ve always been a huge fan of metas that dissect Dean’s differeniation of need vs want, and this whole work was like one of those metas. It’s a Cas POV of him trying to figure out how to read this man that he knows so well. It pulls out the angst and it makes me ache, but promises there IS a happy ending and Dean WANTS it.

Shush you know you want Goodbye Stranger meets Detroit: Become Human you knOW YOU WANT IT Digital Heartbeat by Chancy_Lurking 14k

MHM IT’S SO GOOD. Talk about good characterization. This work is almost a time piece? There’s a few skips in the timeline but you get the good parts and what’s needed for a full narrative. Castiel is an android sent by Cyberlife to the Men of Letters for aiding in hunting. He’s—of course—assigned to the brothers Winchester.

Shush delicious content right here mwah Heartstring Promenade by SaltyWords (agent4hire22) 17k

Another Empty Rescue?!? Yeah, yeah it is. Dean is sort of reckless. And by that, I mean a lot. But it’s fine. All happy endings, and smutty endings too. ;))

This is one of two 36-questions inspired fics I’ve got bookmarked, but the sex in this one hits my preferences too perfectly so it gets the spot and this list is getting too long to include all of my bookmarks to include both of them anyways but Seek to Know You Better by ahurston 32k mhmmmmmm

This fic is very personal to me. I couldn’t explain even if you asked me to. It might be the Florida Citrus Tree expressionism in Cas’ thoughts, but idk it's such a mystery (the way you know me) by fleeceframe 20k has got it on the list.

Cas loses his memories for a short period of time. Dean and Sam introduce Castiel to Cas, and Dean and Cas have a heart to heart. <3

A vERY interesting premise in a fool's kind of careless by Paclipas 9k

Dean is SUPER off his game when he can’t tell the difference between Cas and Not-Cas over the summer. Canon-fic.

A FIC FROM 2018?!?! WITH TIME TRAVEL??!? Ye ye it is Crazy Diamonds by pantheon_of_discord 24k

Dean of 2018, married to Castiel, swaps places with his newly dragged from Hell 2008 self. Time shenanigans and Bobby Frickin’ Singer ensue.

This one is ONE I AM OBSESSED WITH ACTUALLY And Neither Do You by callsigntango 45k like if it's not the one everyone starts talking about :((( is SO GROSS how callsigntango describes the empty and i lOOOVEEEE ITTTTT. Also plays into a Florida myth I totally forgot about so high-key freaked me out. Hahah.

[manychocolatefactories]

CatCF Milk Chocolate: Part 1, the kids

About this version: Milk Chocolate was inspired originally by a mix of the book, the vibes of the 1971 movie and the Tim Burton movie aesthetic. A bit more goofier and whimsical than the other versions. In term of era, I thought of it as a mix of 1960s, 1970s and 1980s.

In this version seven Golden Tickets are spread throughout the world, and each time one is found the same female reporter (her character is a reference to the musical) goes to interview the children. Another recurring joke is that while the hunt is going on for the Tickets, there are all sorts of ridiculous debates on television such as: do the Golden Tickets really exist, or is this just a hoax ? Do the Golden Tickets give cancer? Can animals go on a tour like humans? What happens if a Golden Ticket winner dies before the tour? Are the Golden Tickets linked to the rise of youht delinquence? Are the Golden Tickets a proof of Wonka's alleagiance to the obscure sect of the Golden Bird?

  First Winner: Augustus Gloop

(Based on Augustus Gloop)

This Augustus was actually based on an idea Stained-by-the-sea allowed me to "borrow" a bit. Stained noted that Augustus always made him thought of this section from the movie "North", about Buck and the Texan parents. If you don't know what I am talking about, I'll leave links down there. And this is such a perfect matc I had to dig a bit down there.

This Augustus is basically a mix of all the archetypes associated with Texas and Nevada. But more precisely, he is basically "Buck" from North - a boy whose family (and his own mindset) embody the motto "bigger is better".

The Gloop family always thought that they should be "the biggest and the bests" and that "bigger is better". Ironically, the Gloop parents themselves are regular-sized people, but they clearly enforced this mentality on their son. Augustus is a big boy. Literally. He is tall, he is thick, he is fat, he is very, very big. He is probably one of the tallest, and definitively the largest boy on the tour (in fact, he once or twice gets stuck in the doors of Wonka factory). He eats ten meals per day, and we are not talking of regular sized meals. We are talking piles of ribs, kilos of potatoes, entire chickens... His parents also prepared for him a "big" and "best" future - paying the local sportive teams to claim he is a sports champion despite Augustus never setting a foot on a sports field, arranging his marriage with the local beauty queen of the state he lives in, already preparing the three different houses he will live with his fifteen kids... As a result, Augustus isn't just big and fat physically, he also has a massive and bloated ego. He thinks that he is the best at everything, and that he should have absolutely everything he wants.

The Gloops themselves are actually the masters of the state they live in, so to speak. They are the wealthiest and most influential industrials of the area: they built highways, casinos, hotels, private villas, they are cow-farmers, owing a lot of slaughterhouses, and also dig for oil and gold. They want their business to be the "biggest there ever was" and all they do is exaggerately big: their villas are enormous, their hotels are everywhere, their farms hosts several thousands cows, their mines are among the deepest in the world...

Trouble is that, due to their expansion and consumption of everything, they are a threat to the landscape and the environment - destroying forests to build their roads and buildings, drying out the lands to feed their farms... in fact, part of the reason why their state looks like the most desertic parts of Texas and Nevada is due to their actions.

Think... Buck from North. Think Art Land from Mar Attack. Think an evil (and obese) version of Clay Bailey from "Xiaolin Showdown". In fact, if I remember well in one episode Clay turns into a sumo for one of the Showdowns... this would probably be Augustus' appearance in this version: sumo Clay Bailey. (Edit: Yes, I checked out, it is episode 23 of the series).

 Second Winner: Clarence Crump

(Based on: Clarence Crump)

Clarence didn't had any kind of personnality in the original drafts outside of a desire to prove he was right. As a result, I decided to have a lot of fun and create my own character.

The idea of vanity has already been touched several times with the other brats, but I wanted to give it its own character and kid. I also wanted to create a polar opposite of Augustus, denouncing the fact that being skinny can be just as bad as being fat when in excess. As a result, Clarence Crump is here a boy obsessed about being thin, and proud of being too skinny for his own good.

Mr. Crump is a pseudo-health guru that keeps writing phony and very dangerous diet books, the kind that will advice you to stop eating altogether to lose weight. As for Mrs. Crump, she is a beauty pageant champion (local and regional, and while she acts as if she was some national beauty champion, she always failed at nationals). From their union was born a child who inherited their vanity, pride and obsession with "health"

Black haired, very pale, very thin, very slender, to the point his bones show, Clarence delights in being skinny, and works as a teenager model promoting the "thin-fashion". He is also the embodiment of fat-shaming, never missing an occasion to insult fat people (in fact he often calls Augustus a big fat cow). He uses however the excuse of health for that (a trick his parents taught him) - promoting extreme thinness by talking about health and fat-shaming people in the name of health allows one to be much more horrible than normally accepted.

A good proof of how Clarence actually is just very vain and obsessed with being thin, and not at all defending health - Clarence condemns sports for being unhealthy, because according to him "muscles are unhealthy because they don't make you look beautiful, they make you look ugly".

He always wears short and black sleeveless tank-tops, the point being that he needs to show as much as his body to the world as possible, to be a "living example". He even wears his black short and tank-top during the tour (despite it being winte - the only thing he wears on top of his clothes to not get cold is a skunk fur coat).

  Third  Winner: Miranda Grope

(Based on: Miranda Grope)

This character was based on Dahl's own character of "Miranda Grope" from early drafts of the story, the horrible and atrocious girl allowed to do "whatever she wants".

In my version, the Grope parents are hippie-like people, the father having a very long beard and being covered in fleas, while the mother is covered in flowers and oss (plants that grew over her), and both always wearing rose-tinted glasses. They are the kind of parents that refuse authority and orders, seeing these (and social norms as a whole) as a "dictatorship". They prefer to trust their daughter to find her own way in the world, believing that experience is the best teacher in life. The result? They lazily raised her by telling her they would never forbid her anything and that she could do anything she wanted.

Miranda is a devilish little girl who does only what she wants, and becomes extremely violent when prevented from doing something. Or when people say something she doesn't want to hear. Or just when people she dislikes are near her. She shouts, the screams, she insult, she kicks, she hit, she throw enormous and terrifying tantrums. She has a very wide range of insults, and a truly evil mind : most of the things she wants to do are borderline crimes. It seems for her only chaos and destruction is "fun", a true little punk.

Miranda has a disastrous haircut because she cuts her hair herself, and she is always wearing the same clothes that she rarely washes): a white shirt, a blue sweater with long sleeves, and a plaid tiles skirt. An outfit that looks strikingly like a school uniform - but it is pure irony, because Miranda hates more than anything in the world school. She doesn't go to school, and the only time she went near one was to try to burn it down. (Her appearance is in fact based on Lauren Child's illustrations for Miranda, if you are wondering).

  Fourth Winner: Veruca Salt

(Based on: Veruca Salt)

For this Veruca, I wanted to do something slightly different... here, Veruca doesn't want everything just because she is a spoiled rich brat. She is still one, but she is also the product of post-WW2 consumerism.

This Veruca was born surrounded by advertisements, logos, slogans and product placements. On television, in the streets, in shops, in journals, at the radio... She grew up with them and was influenced, brainwashed by them. As a result, she is obsessed with obtaining everything that was advertised, and she herelf looks like a walking billboard since she is covered in big, flashy logo and keeps reciting different brands' slogans and mottos. As soon as she sees something she saw publicity of before, she needs to obtain it at once. She is a true zombie, only hearing the call of the shopping mall and of the television advertisements.

One idea I had was that the Salt parents actually worked for (or where at the head of) a wealthy advertisement company, known to produce, design and create all kinds of famous publicities and slogans - and that they used their daughter as a guinea pig for their tests, and delighted in Veruca being so addicted to consumerism. In fact, they may have named her Veruca because at the moment of her birth they were working on advertisements for an anti-wart product, so that's all they had in mind.

  Fifth winner:  Herpes Trout

(Based on: Mike Teavee)

I went with this version of Mikee Teavee with the focus on "violence" already present in the original work, but also heavily used in the opera (and touched a bit in the 2005 movie).

This Herpes Trout is the embodiment of the fear of kids becoming violent upon watching television and playing video games (his only two passions in life). He has a true fascination with guns and firearms - US soldiers shooting aliens, gangs shooting each other, cowboys shooting at bandits, it's all he ever plays and watches. Herpes worships violence, and is absolutely obsessed with war (here I am thinking of all the wars present from the 60s to the 80s, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the Glasgow Ice Cream Wars...). War propaganda and the fight being glorifyed heavily influenced him - as a result his biggest dream is to go at war in some foreign country to kill everyone there and come home a hero.

Herpes comes from a family of rednecks and hillbillies from the deep country. They are not poor however, they are wealthy enough to have television and several video games, but they are uneducated people full of stereotypes, discrimination and hate. They named their son Herpes because they ignored what it meant but just thought of it as an "intelligent" name. Herpes has everal brothers and sisters, and all have a disease name.

Herpes himself is a big and strong kid, who followed body-buildings process a la Charles Atlas and military training, becoming impressively muscular. However, he retained a soft, childish and chubby "baby face", which kind of ruins the effect of this massive, muscular, almost adult body. Always dressed in a military outfit, he carries everywhere with him guns and firearms, the question being: are they real? Or are they not?

  Sixth Winner: Violet Glockenberry

(Based on Violet Beauregarde)

I wanted with this version to take back the idea of a competitive and "sportive" girl obsessed with contesting and winning - introduced in the Tim Burton movie.

This Violet is a tall, muscular and strong girl. She won numerous sportive competitions, but this doesn't make her just arrogant and prideful like in the Tim Burton version. In my version she is also very aggressive and violent (a bit like in the original novel). She is a nasty and rude bully easily prone to anger (in fact, if she keeps chewing gum it is mostly to calm her down sot hat she doesn't punch everyone around). Her parents originally pushed her towards competitions to manage her anger issues, but sports only gave her more strength and destructive power. In fact, they became terrified of her, while she considers them losers here to serve her - she basically thinks of herself as self-made, literaly.

  Seventh Winner: Charlie Bucket

(Based on: Charlie Bucket)

For this Charlie, I wanted to go with a Charlie similar to the original illustrations of the character: blond hair, blue eyes, a white boy...

Basically, he is the original Charlie. Very sweet, very innocent, a gentle kid, the best of the group.

However I changed slightly his background. Charlie in this version is not the grandson of four grandparents, but rather the big brother of four younger siblings - and his family here struggles with trying to feed five children (and a total of seven mouths) despite having very humble and low-paid jobs. I think Charlie has taken the role of a parentive figure for the siblings, but at the same time him spending so much time with young children helped him keep in touch with his "childish" side.