#it's like the last dyspraxia thing i can not do at all

[roseband]

lets say i bought a connecticut ticket to eric....

and wanted to take the greyhound

do u think it would end by 10:30 for me to get back to the last greyhound of the night????

or i could take metro north back but it's more expensive than a greyhound

[woso-dreamzzz]

Different II

Katie McCabe x Teen!Reader

Summary: You get your diagnosis

There's a lot of hoops to jump through to finally work out what's wrong with you.

Mam doesn't like you using those words. She doesn't like referring to it as 'what's wrong with you'. She tells you that you're perfect. Nothing is wrong with you. You're perfect the way you are.

There's nothing wrong. You're jumping through these hoops so Katie can finally understand how to help you.

You meet with the paediatrician who makes follow-up appointments for you with a psychologist and an occupational therapist.

The psychologist rules out things like dyscalculia and dyslexia. She says you don't have anxiety and depression either.

You go to the occupational therapist. He runs you through a series of tests. At first, it's big things like jumping or using a skipping rope before he moves onto the smaller things like holding a paintbrush and placing weird pegs things into small holes.

You go back to the paediatrician.

"Dyspraxia," Katie says that evening as you both sit on her bed together," That's what it's called. Dyspraxia."

"I know," You say," I was in the room with you when we got told."

She's holding the pamphlet and folder that the doctor had given you, explaining all the ins and outs of the condition.

It's nothing that you haven't experienced first-hand. You imagine all of these documents were made for parents of little kids who got diagnosed. You imagine it's more for Katie's benefit than your own.

You know what it's like to live with this condition. You know what to expect and how to adapt.

Katie is the one that will be reading those pages front to back, well into the night even though she's got training the next day.

You're off school for the week.

One of the gas taps in the science laps has started leaking so the whole school was shut down as a precaution.

You're more than happy to tag along to training, stealing one of the muffins from the dining hall to eat by yourself out on the pitch.

"So," Kim says as she sits next to you," I heard from Katie that you finally got that diagnosis."

You shrug. "It's nice to have a name for it now. I think Mam's read that folder at least ten times now. I don't know if she even got any sleep last night."

"That sounds like Katie." Kim nudges you with her knee. "How are you feeling about it?"

"It is what it is," You reply, picking at your muffin," Mam said that she's still trying to take it all in. I don't know if that's good or bad."

Katie had been resistant at first. She hadn't wanted you to get tested for anything. You were perfect the way you were and she didn't want anyone to make you think otherwise.

She was all denial.

Deny, deny, deny.

You were brutal acceptance.

There was something that made you different to the other kids. There was something that made you different to most other people you had ever met.

You don't know now what Katie thinks of your diagnosis, this new label to stick on yourself.

You don't know if it'll change how she thinks of you. If she'll think you're less perfect now that you've got something official to say that you aren't.

"Katie loves you," Kim says," That won't ever change. You're her kid."

"I'm not a kid," You grumble and Kim laughs.

"You're her teenager then," She corrects," But she does love you and all she wants is to give you the best possible life."

"Yeah but-"

"It's not going to change anything," Kim insists," Okay? Katie loves you."

You don't doubt that. You've never doubted that.

You just hope Katie doesn't doubt it either.

She paces in front of you that evening and you hold your breath.

"I've talked to your school," She says," They're working on getting you a school-issued laptop but for the time being you're allowed to bring in one of ours from home. You'll get extra time for your exams and the teachers are going to start giving you more handouts rather than making you write everything up."

"Wait...what?"

"What do you mean what?"

You frown. "Mam...I...I don't get it."

"You're getting accommodations," katie says, sitting right next to you," Because you're different to the other kids and need a bit more support. You're a smart kid. You just need to do things a little differently. We're getting you help."

"Mam, I..." You don't quite know what to say. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me," Katie says," I love you. I'm just making sure you get what you deserve."

[underthehedge]

Y'know one of the fun things about having dyspraxia is the way my brain can just completely bork up sequences of actions I've been doing for the last 30+ years, especially if I get distracted at all.

The other day I went to get undressed for bed while I was watching a youtube video and instead of taking off my shoes and then socks, I took off one shoes and the corresponding sock and just ??? That is not how the sequence goes! Sitting on the edge of my bed feeling like a lemon with one fully booted foot and one bare to the world.

More than a few times of a morn, I've gotten dressed and stuck my feet in my shoes only to stop and think "nope, trousers first, then shoes".

Cannot tell you how many times I've poured cold water into a mug because I filled the kettle, put it on the base and just forgot to actually turn it on. I come back a minute or two later and assume it's boiled, but no, it was never on.

One time working in a restaurant I scraped a plate over the bin, and then went to drop the cutlery into the bucket on the far side of the bin, as I did many times every day. Except this time I just let go of the cutlery over the bin and then extended my empty hand over the bucket. Just straight up did the moving my hand and opening it steps in the wrong order.

Anyway, dyspraxia is ridiculous. And so co-morbid with ADHD if you've got one it's definitely worth knowing about. Especially if you were diagnosed with dyspraxia before like 2000 or something - I was diagnosed with dyspraxia aged like 7, and they didn't catch my ADHD until I was about 24.

Tbh, a bunch of the symptoms of dyspraxia I grew up knowing about and suffering with I now think are actually just ADHD. That they're commonly observed in dyspraxics because over half of us have ADHD. I was always told that dyspraxics often struggle with internal organisational stuff, timekeeping and attention and it's just like...yeah I don't think that's the dyspraxia actually.

[13thdoctorposts]

has anyone else noticed how reactions and consensus on 13 has been RETROACTIVELY negative? I know there's been an intensely misogynistic hate campaign since Jodie was announced but I also noticed that when you look at old posts from when s11 especially was freshly aired, there was a lot more good faith engagement with the show and genuine excitement in fandom. It seems like covid gave the bad faith actors the opportunity to take over fandom and force their narratives on everyone.

Yeah a really great example of this is if you look back to tweets from the night Rosa aired the praise was very very high, now if you bring it up in the fandom you would think it was terrible and racist.

On YouTube I was told the writers, both of them Chibs and Malorie Blackman were incompetent because they doesn’t show how bad the racism really was, yet the episode starts with one of our companions being physically assaulted and told to be careful so not to end up like Emmett Till, some one who had just been murdered acting as if the show was sugar coating what life was like back then. Oh and of course with the Chibs slander that he’s racist because he may have hired a woman of colour to write the script, but she is English not American and he should have made sure it was an American or not done the episode at all

Malorie Blackman is an award winning author claiming she’s an incompetent writer is pretty incredible accusation.

Here’s some of the tweets from articles praising the episode.

I think 2 things hurt 13 era who and they weren’t Chibs and Jodie. It was the unhinged toxicity the fandom constantly spewed and then even after things got praised as you said people would go back and nitpick to a level they never ever do with any other era and 2nd not having a big enough marketing budget and brand manger series 12 and 13 suffered most from this because the BBC did put the marketing money into series 11 even if they didn’t have a brand manager, and Chibs mentions this in the Radio Free Skaro podcast from last year that the BBC put a huge marking budget into series 11 but series 12 and 13 basically the budget was… you can only advertise on the BBC because there’s no money for anything else.

Rosa is just one example but there was a lot of praise for the work at the time of release and it’s quite possible general public viewers may have just stoped engaging on social after series 11 because they would then be piled on, and people in the online fandom knew they couldn’t go to social saying they loved an episode so they started picking it apart before putting their thoughts out there so they could be on trend with the haters who were gonna pile on if they didn’t fall in line.

Seriously if there’s ever a down fall to doctor who the ‘fans’ will be it because they would rather hate on the thing they supposedly love than love it. And ever era has its super questionable moments but if you bring them up for any other era you just being petty, or it isn’t that big of a deal, or ‘it’s of the time’ it’s just excuse after excuse.

I’ve seen people upset about the fact that RTD dead named Rose in the star beast, something very legitimate because now all the right wing idiots of the fandom use that name and the people who were upset get piled on if they say anything because they should be happy that RTD is trying to give them representation… but these same people when Chibs tried to give rep though a female doctor, or an episode like Rosa or Ryans disability, say Chibs is a right wing capitalist, sexist, racist, ablest, you don’t hear them saying hey he was really trying by getting people of colour to write their stories, by getting directors with the same heritage to direct episodes, he work with a dyspraxia organisation to help write Ryan, brought in the first 2 female Doctors and the 1st Doctor of colour who was also a woman, the 1st master of colour, the first Doctor who admitted to having feeling for a companion of the same sex and the episode where the doctor admits those feeling is co written with a queer woman, oh no Chibs gets no grace for tryi neg he did everything wrong but RTD everyone should be thankful for.

I don’t understand the level of hate. Not liking something is one thing but a part of this fandom has made 13 era who seem like the anti christ of Doctor Who, when really it tried a lot harder to involve more people in it then ever before.

[slityclayloam]

Sometimes I like looking up dyspraxia on google or tumblr as it makes me feel better seeing others like me, but like everytime I am violently reminded just how much it seeps into my everyday life.

Like I have decent movement, I can't remember the last time I fell over and I rarely bump into things. I can now wear turtle neck jumpers without feeling like I'm being strangled. I can type fast on my laptop and rarely have to look at the keys. I can drive, parallel park and reverse park. I can even now catch stuff thrown at me like 9/10 times! All of this is because I've been working on those skills for 19 years, both by myself and through speech and physiotherapy between the ages of 5 and 9.

But then I still have major issues organising my life, I have problems going to appointments and responding to emails. My main emotion everyday is to feel unemotional and when I do feel a real, strong emotion I have a hard time showing it, often apperaing neutral or like I don't care. I still don't fully get some social concepts. My memory can be really dodgy. My handwriting is quick and spidery as it hurts my hand to write slowly and neatly and I can't use anything but cheap gel pens as anything else will smudge. I still drop food on myself or the table daily. I'm still nervous carrying mugs of tea or coffee around, in fact I actually refuse point blank to carry trays of food in cafes, as I worry so much about dropping them and I find the weight and instability difficult to handle. I get tired easily and find it hard to stand in the kitchen and cook for more than half an hour before I just end up in pain, I can't use can openers and I have a hard time chopping food. I really like doing craft stuff with my hands but I find it so hard to continue with that craft stuff as it always comes out looking horrible and I just don't have the patience to continue.

It is hard living in a constant uphill battle, with everyone around you getting on with their lives and being so "hyper" organised. But I've managed to grow so much over the years and I hope that one day soon I can move some more of the things on my "I can't do or struggle to do right now" list, and move them into my "success" or "I can just in my own way" list.

[freckliedan]

Hi!!! I just wanted to talk about how Dan and Phil as a brand is so relatable to neurodivergents in the way that they've been treated recently. So DnP built their careers off of being "weird" and "quirky" and socially awkward. That was Their Thing. Dan spoke for years about being violently bullied (quotes such as "being punched in the head by dickheads" stand out as a pre-BIG example of just how violent it got at times), Phil had the Why I Was a Weird Kid series, they both were frequently talked about as being "weird" and "awkward" by other YouTubers - they WERE the "weird" ones of the vlog group. The ones that awkward teens could relate to. Unfortunately, this got the attention of the #imsoquirky crowd who talks like they're experiencing all of these things while also being the same people who would mock me for my autism.

And that's the crowd now saying Dan is too old to be posting catboy photos or saying that the two of them "give the ick now, idk why." And I just can't help but notice how much I relate to that as an autistic and ADHD person. So many times over the years, I've made "friends" who were slightly into my interests, but then got weirded out by how hard I went into them. I think what we're seeing is the same thing happening to Dan and Phil. Drawing cat whiskers on your face to answer questions? Well that's "so cute and quirky"!! (/s). But actually playing as Catboys in JRPGs, dressing up in cat ears, making animal noises (which the two of them always did but ig this group overlooked), etc? Well that's "too far" and "so weird."

I think Dan especially got hit with this because he has more subscribers. When he talks about being bullied, most people can relate to that. But then when he goes and honks a horn in a game repeatedly (which tbh I've done before myself, very ADHD coded of him) or talks about hiding behind vending machines to avoid talking to people, that is suddenly "too annoying/weird" for some of the audience that got into him for his "relatably weird" content.

Sorry this is such a long ramble, but basically Dan and Phil have accidentally become the perfect examples of how kids with autism/ADHD/social pragmatic disorder/nvld/dyspraxia *insert other neurodivergencies that can cause atypical socialization* are treated. People might find your initial "quirkiness" relatable because everyone feels awkward or socially anxious at times, but it's when they see that you are Actually Just Like That and it's not to be #relatable that they turn on you and start saying that you're "too much" and "too weird."

Dan and Phil were the "weird" ones of the British vlog scene, and those of us who tuned into the younows or watched their older videos knew this, but someone who only subbed after watching a meme review or the two of them playing undertale might have assumed that they were the "right" kind of quirky/weird.

This is probably incoherent, but I hope you get what I mean.

this isn't incoherent! just such a well thought out ask i don't have anything to add. there's really specific ways i'm comfortable talking abour dnp + neurodivergence & neurodivergence in general so it's not something i've ever done super in depth posts abt!

i've actually gotten a few really lengthy asks like this over the last few weeks, so this is to you and to my other askers: i really appreciate that folks want to share their ideas with me but sometimes i genuinely don't have enough to contribute in response to add on to what's being said! and that makes it pretty impossible to answer asks like this.

so this is to everyone: feel free to @ me in the replies on your posts! (doing that leaves things cleaner than @ ing in the body of a post, which in my experience means folks are more likely to engage, if that's what you're looking for). especially loop me in about dnp + neurodivergene or dnp + gender!

this isn't a promise i'll rb or even see things, this website's functionality is shit, but like. it's actually way easier for me to see and support than if yall are sending me essay length anons, and this way i + others can find more people who share the same opinions as us! make ur own posts & ppl will follow u i prommy

[pttwice]

may you do a story of nd!momo masking and her caregiver (you can pick) doesnt notice. at the end of the day everything starts to weigh on momo and it becomes to much for her and she breaks down

hi anon :) of course! i feel like little nd!momo would be good at masking :( not always a good thing and i know it can be really hard, but i know that her caregiver would be so sweet to her

30 minutes

|| littlend!momo, cg!jeongyeon ||

Tying your shoes, buttoning a shirt, and talking to people. These are things Momo had done a trillion times at least and would be doing until she was no longer on Earth. As someone with dyspraxia, it was sometimes difficult to do things that, to most people, are pretty easy tasks.

Through therapy as a kid and a lot of love and encouragement from her parents, Momo was able to deal with her dyspraxia fairly well. Being on Sixteen with the eventual other members of Twice helped to boost her confidence but also made her lose a part of herself in a way.

The troubles Momo faced that all the other girls didn't resulted in her being eliminated, only to be brought back. The relief and sheer joy that was coursing through Momo when her name was called to be the last member of Twice was immeasurable.

Through years of working with the girls and endless encouragement when she struggled, she felt like she could do anything in the world.

There were still days Momo had trouble doing the basics. Most of the time she was able to hide it from her members when she was having trouble and stumbled her way — quite literally — through her day. Oftentimes though, her problems with her dyspraxia and regression merged. These days were exceptionally hard for Momo and sometimes, masking just wasn't enough.

//

"Do you need help zipping up your jacket, Momo?" Jeongyeon popped up behind the younger, a bright smile on her face as she zipped Momo's jacket up without question.

Momo just quietly thanked Jeongyeon, too embarrassed to admit just how long she had been standing in the middle of the living room trying to zip her jacket up. If she didn't notice, then there was no need for Momo to say anything anyway.

As the girls made their way to practice for an upcoming award show, Momo could feel that it was going to be a hard day. Everything was becoming increasingly harder as the day went on and it was only 1 in the afternoon.

When they arrived at the JYP building, Momo could barely take her regular shoes off to put on the shoes she usually wore to practice. She had to retie her laces three times before they were okay enough that they wouldn't untie and cause her to fall mid-practice.

"Ready to go, Momo?" Jeongyeon held out her hand to help Momo up as the younger nodded, a small smile on her face. Momo really hoped that Jeongyeon didn't watch her struggle to tie her shoes.

"Remember, focus on the footwork for Set Me Free since it's the hardest." Jihyo instructed the members before she turned the music on, the metronome helping Momo immensely to help count her in since she was having a little trouble with it.

//

"Momo, make sure your foot's a little to the left"

"Momo, try to bend your arm a bit more."

"Momo, that moves next."

For hours, Momo made mistake after mistake. All her members were helping her, but she just couldn't get the moves right. Every single time she tried to move one way her body moved another way.

When they took a break, Momo leaned on Jeongyeon, a tired and dissatisfied sigh leaving her. It was getting harder and harder to avoid a meltdown and keep trying but she knew this was important. She couldn't keep messing up and let her head get the best of her.

"Tired, Momo?" Jeongyeon let out a small chuckle and patted Momo's head, blissfully unaware of her friend's struggling. To Jeongyeon, Momo was just having a bit of an off day. All the girls had their off days. But Jeongyeon had no idea she had tried to zip her jacket up this morning for 30 minutes.

Momo just pursed her lips in a small smile, nodding at Jeongyeon's question. She forced herself up from the small couch in the back of the practice room and grabbed her water bottle. She turned around, trying to take the lid off, but her fingers weren't cooperating.

Momo got more frustrated by the second, trying and trying again to take the lid off, but failing every time. She turned to try and find someone to help her, but then she remembered that she couldn't let her members worry. Having her members worry was what led her to hours of scolding and extra practice during sixteen. Worrying got her disqualified. Worrying was nothing good. So even though she was really thirsty, Momo just put her water bottle away and opted to wait until their break was over.

//

"Momo, please try again." Nayeon sighed, a little annoyed that she had to break off to reteach Momo a section of the song. Nayeon wasn't sure why the younger was having so much trouble. She was fine to help her, but she was getting tired and she would much rather be taking a break and not teaching.

Momo just mumbled a small ‘sorry’, looking back up into the mirror. For the last time, Momo repeated the same moves she had been messing up for the past 10 minutes. Finally, she had gotten it. Her body sagged in relief when she was finished, but when she looked back up at herself again in the mirror, everything felt off.

Momo saw herself as that idol who always embarrassed herself on TV because she couldn't speak well. She saw the teenager struggling to remember the most basic dance moves and getting eliminated. She saw the elementary school kid who couldn't tie her shoes even though she was 10 years old. She saw the same Momo this morning who couldn't even zip her jacket up in 30 minutes.

She couldn't keep a happy face anymore.

//

Momo looked away from herself in the mirror and ran out of the practice room, slamming the door behind her as she dipped into the practice room next door.

Jeongyeon looked up from her phone just as Momo slammed the door. She quickly got up and went over to Nayeon, worry laced in her voice as she spoke to the oldest. "What just happened?"

Nayeon looked at Jeongyeon extremely confused and worried. "I-I don't know. I was just helping her and she finally got the moves down. Five seconds later she was looking in the mirror and just ran out.

Jeongyeon stared at Nayeon for a few seconds before guilt washed over her. How could she have been so blind when Momo was struggling the entire day? She couldn't zip up her jacket. She kept having to retie her shoes. She couldn't remember the dance well.

Jeongyeon sighed and shook her head, thanking Nayeon before she went out to look for Momo. It didn't take long as she peeked into the next practice room and saw Momo curled up on one of the couches.

Jeongyeon slowly opened the door, her heart breaking as soon as she heard Momo sobbing. Jeongyeon walked over to the couch and sat down beside Momo, reaching a careful hand out to pat her back.

"Are you okay, Momo?"

At the sound of Jeongyeon's voice, Momo shot up, wrapping her arms around Jeongyeon's neck. Her sobs were muffled by Jeongyeon's shoulder and the older could feel Momo shaking with each sob she let out.

"It's okay, Mo. I've got you. Take as much time as you need."

Momo somehow crawled her way onto Jeongyeon's lap, the older girl rubbing her back up and down to help sooth her. "I-I tried to-jus' wan'ed to-"

"It's okay, sweet girl. You don't have to say anything. I know it's hard to talk right now."

Momo just nodded and continued to cry into Jeongyeon's shoulder, her whole body feeling heavy now as she finally let herself deal with everything she was holding back.

//

It took an hour for Jeongyeon to calm Momo down enough and by the time Momo's sobs had died down to sniffles and hiccups, they had made it back to Jeongyeon's apartment. She carried the little into her bedroom and sat her down on the bed, grabbing a pair of pajamas and her Barbie pillow she kept at Jeongyeon's.

Jeongyeon handed Momo her Barbie pillow which the little immediately pulled to her chest. She slipped her practice pants off and laid her down. Momo was distracted enough with the pillow that Jeongyeon was able to quickly change her into a pull up and her pajama pants.

Whenever Jeongyeon had to take the pillow to slip her pajama top on, a loud whine left the little's mouth. "Wan' pillow!"

"I know, baby. I'm sorry, but I'm just gonna slip your shirt on and you'll have Barbie right back." Jeongyeon gave Momo a gentle peck on the cheek before quickly swapping her tops, handing her the Barbie pillow.

"There we go. Now my baby's all comfy." Jeongyeon sat down beside Momo and pulled out her iPad. She pulled up an app that they'd use to communicate sometimes and handed it to Momo. "Do you want to tell mama what happened today?"

Momo looked down at the iPad and nodded. She handed Jeongyeon her pillow and tapped on a few pictures. They were able to put in familiar pictures that Momo frequently used so she didn't have to struggle with typing everything out.

Once Momo was done, she handed the iPad back to her mama and took the pillow, resting her cheek against it as she watched Jeongyeon read through her pictures.

Jeongyeon frowned at the pictures that Momo had picked out. She could tell that the little felt guilty for taking so long to understand everything at practice, she was having a really hard day with her fine motor skills, she was trying hard to mask it because she didn't want to worry everyone, and she ran out of the room because of scary memories

"Were the scary memories from Sixteen, sweet girl?"

Tears formed at the corners of Momo's eyes at the mere mention of the show as she buried her face in Jeongyeon's chest. She nodded as a small whimper escaped her.

"I'm sorry you had such a hard time then, baby but you're safe and sound with us now. Mama will never let anything like that happen to you again." Jeongyeon kissed the crown of Momo's head and set the iPad down on the bed, wrapping her arms around the little.

"Any time you're having trouble with anything, just come to me and I'll help you. I promise I won't ever tease you or make fun of you. Mama's only here to help her sweet girl." Jeongyeon tilted Momo's head up and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She wiped away the few tears that fell and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

//

The rest of the evening was hard for Momo. She was still frustrated since she couldn't eat anything without Jeongyeon's help and whenever she tried to color to relax, her hands wouldn't cooperate with the crayons.

Momo ended up crying a few more times, but her mama was there with her every step of the way to encourage her and distract her. Jeongyeon played easy games with her that only involved pointing and she even read the little a few stories.

By bedtime, Momo was feeling much better. Her mama assured her that no matter how hard the day was, mama would always be there to help her tie her shoes or zip up her jacket. It made Momo feel special and it let her know that her mama really loved her.

[neurodiversitysci]

Question for Readers: How do real Neurodivergent people exercise?

Hi, neurodivergent friends, especially those of you with ADHD/executive dysfunction, or dyspraxia. Do you regularly exercise or move your body? If so, what do you do? How often? How do you stay consistent, or deal with being inconsistent?

Knowing how real neurodivergent people exercise (not just neurotypical influencers/self help types) would help me immensely. Just like with cleaning and organizing, we often have to do things in a different way, and it doesn’t necessarily look like what you see in magazines and the like. I want to broaden my mind to the full possibilities of what exercising can look like.

Why I’m Asking:

I’m no longer young enough for my body to stay basically functional without regular physical exercise. I need to do regular physical activity that involves bearing my own body weight and raising my heart rate. 

I need to build up my endurance and develop some arm muscles so basic life tasks like grocery shopping don’t wear me out. 

I also need physical activity to reconnect me to my body. Pretty much everything I do (like reading, writing, and interacting with friends online) keeps me still so long I forget I have a body, and then it’s hard to start moving again. 

I also need physical activity that involves going outside, and people watching or even interacting with people, to connect me to the world and remind me that I’m real. You know, all those mental health benefits of moving and being in nature.

I also need a way to burn off those intense emotions that can stick around for hours, instead of distracting myself from them. And perhaps, burn off some anxiety/restlessness/hyperactivity, while I’m at it.

The Assets

I like walking at a moderate pace and could do for hours.

I love yoga, especially of the slow paced type where you focus on how you feel in a pose and intensify it to the maximum point you can stand.

I love dancing to music, including fast paced songs with a strong beat.

The Challenges:

Low endurance, physical weakness: I need something low impact and appropriate for someone with low endurance and something like exercise induced asthma.

ADHD Inconsistency and Discouragement: I need goals specific enough to actually do the exercise, yet flexible enough that I won’t get discouraged and stop. I need to either not trigger my perfectionism, or work around it.

Executive Dysfunction: I suck at building habits, especially keeping them consistently. These days, I’m so discouraged from years of frustration with trying to build habits that I rarely try at all. Also, I have difficulty setting SMART goals around exercise especially because I’m not very knowledgeable about what’s healthy and realistic (and am exhausted by the prospect of wading through “bro science” to find useful info).

History of dyspraxia; lack of confidence in my physical body and embarrassed about being physically unfit in front of other people.

Heat sensitivity -- it was almost painfully exhausting going outside last summer, which limited the opportunities I had to exercise.

How would you deal with challenges like these?

If you have similar challenges, how do you deal with them? 

Any ideas for what sort of exercises to do, how often, etc.?

Why Reply?

I will try any suggestions that seem promising. So, you might be able to help me.

I plan to write about what works for me, what doesn’t, and why. Maybe that information will help someone else in a similar situation. If so, you might help other people, too.

Thank you!

[curiousb]

15 questions for 15 mutuals

Thanks for tagging me, @vimpse and @simsdada!

1. are you named after anyone?

Yes-ish? My first name is a feminised form of my father’s name, and also my maternal grandmother's middle name. Sadly, she died long before I was born, when my mother was only three years old, so I’m quite glad that her name lives on with me. My royalist mother also had a thing about a minor English princess, so I have her name as my middle name.

2. when was the last time you cried?

I honestly don’t remember - probably a few months ago. There has to be something very, very wrong for me to cry. It’s something I avoid doing, as I don’t like to lose control of my emotions.

3. do you have kids?

No, as a conscious choice. I’m really not cut out to be a parent, but I’ve never actually wanted to become one anyway, so it’s all worked out fine!

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

I try not to, as I think it can be cruel, but it depends on the circumstances!

5. what sports do you play/have you played?

Although I didn’t know this until quite recently, I have dyspraxia. So, sport and I have never been on good terms! Yes, I was always that kid - the one who was chosen last for teams at school. I’ve also always despised exercise simply for the sake of it. But, seven years ago I randomly took up Shotokan Karate - my husband had taken it up a couple of years before, and it was the first physical activity that had ever looked like fun to me! This year, I was finally awarded my black belt (1st Dan). Thanks to my dyspraxia, and pesky osteoarthritis, it’s taken me nearly twice as long as anyone else to get to this point, but I absolutely love it - it’s the perfect blend of mental and physical challenge - and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. It’s been fantastic for my balance, coordination, strength, agility, self-confidence and mental health. I’m now working towards being awarded 2nd Dan, in a couple of years hopefully. :)

6. what’s the first thing you notice about other people?

I found out only a few years ago, as an adult, that I’m autistic. But, I think the thing I’ve always picked up on when meeting someone new - even before I was consciously aware of this - is whether they are also possibly neurodivergent, and hence whether we have an immediate connection. I now realise that nearly all my friends have also been neurodivergent in some way (also autistic, ADHD, dyscalculia), and that the friendships naturally sprang from an instinctive understanding, thanks to similarities in our way of perceiving and processing the world.

7. scary movies or happy endings?

Can I say neither? I have a ridiculously overactive imagination, and although I absolutely do not believe in the supernatural, scary films play on my mind literally forever. And I’m simply unmoved by clichéd happy endings. I prefer films that make me think or imagine, and I’m quite partial to ambiguous endings, where I’m left to decide for myself what has actually happened, or what might happen next; ‘Inception’ is one of my favourite films. :)

I also love plain old sci-fi, with any kind of ending!

8. any special talents?

I’m a master at packing stuff into spaces in the most efficient way possible. Not very exciting perhaps, but useful.

I’m also very good at inductive reasoning. (Which is generally what Sherlock Holmes uses, not deduction.)

9. where were you born?

In the UK. Which is sadly just one big embarrassment these days.

10. what are your hobbies?

Ever since I first laid my hands on a computer, my first love has been video gaming. The Sims of course (1 and 2 - couldn’t get into 3 and haven’t bothered with 4), which I always come back to, but also various strategy games, such as the Civilization series. Also, choral/ensemble singing and genealogy. Oh, and my beloved karate of course!

11. do you have any pets?

No, I can barely look after myself, let alone be responsible for another lifeform too! In an ideal world, I’d have guinea pigs (which I had as a child and just adore, as they are the sweetest creatures imaginable), or perhaps rats.

12. how tall are you?

5′ 4.5″

13. fave subject in school?

Biology. I was born to be a scientist, and have always found the phenomenon of life to be endlessly fascinating.

14. dream job?

Once I would have said scientist - which I am now - but interesting though it can be, there’s also a lot of stress. I think that now, I’d rather be a self-employed professional genealogist. I’m considering trying to make the switch.

15. eye colour?

Grey-green. I didn’t used to like the colour, but I’ve grown to appreciate it more now, as it’s a little unusual.

I’m just going to tag a few random people, who I don’t think have played along yet, although my memory is shocking so forgive me if I’m wrong about that! As always, please also feel free to ignore: @tvickiesims, @roguebotanist, @clouseplayssims, @fwaysims, @eulaliasims, @plumbtales, @katatty, @moocha-muses, @esotheria-sims, @mypurpleriver, @balkopat, @sushigal007, @frauhupfner, @pforestsims, @beikonsims.

[griancraft]

Ok as per my last post. This is Long and very much about my feelings so uh don’t read it if you don’t want to. Also I’m aware I sound genujneky crazy for half of this I’m just really really mentally ill in ways I don’t talk about here at all and now I am sharing them and it’s. A little scary but oh well. The system stuff is the stuff I’m most concerned about right now to be honest bc it effects my day to day and if anyone has any kind words or thoughts on what to do I’ll be happy to listen

Please read my previous post if you’re mad /gen I don’t think I say anything bad here but I have really bad morality ocd so like uhm I am scared to post this!!! Prev post

Also I’m very sorry that the prose is terrible to read and my spelling is shit I have dyspraxia which is a coordination thing and it’s worse rn

The maybe I was boring album came on yesterday while I was cleaning and I had to stop what I was doing and turn it off halfway through because I just couldn’t stop hearing an admission. I wasn’t even sad I was just. So done with it. I still am just kinda like. God I hope Shelby is doing ok with all this being public now. I’m glad she was able to heal like she said and I’m glad she made the video dude.

I almost got his lyrics tattooed if that’s testament to how much I loved his early music. It’s not connecting in my brain that this music that’s been apart of my life for like 4 years and helped me through so much was made by an abuser.

But like, in retrospect you can see it. I can’t bear to delete ycgma off my mp3 player bc I related to his songs so much as an abused lonely teenager but I also can’t bare to listen to it. I learned the fall on my guitar as my final exam and I used to repeat his lyrics to myself to cope with abuse and I wish I could still love these songs. I dressed like his dsmp character bc I thought it made me look cool. Which is lame as fuck to admit now lol

Originally I was planning on pirating them and I like, can’t especially after that manipulative ass statement. How much was an act? I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m a bad person because I still kinda do want to listen to that music again. I still want to feel that safe but I know I won’t feel that way anymore.

with dsmp stuff I think I’m going to be still able to look back fondly on it generally and I don’t think I’ll ever stop. The community was what made it and the community is what I loved, and i still do. I don’t think I’m going to reblog art of him specifically but if he’s in it I might. Idk. My policy on dream fanart is if he’s not alone in the art and it’s dsmp or mcc related I reblog so I guess I’ll continue that here. Im sorry if that sounds callous I just. Am not prepared to talk about this so I’m going back and forth

And like. We also have a wilbur factive/fictive and we have for years now and nobody in our system knows how to feel about that. He formed to fill the role of a big brother (I was being heavily emotionally neglected at that point and needed someone to be there for me) and protector from my parents abuse. Obviously, he is entirely separate from his source now bc alters change a lot for me but how we picture him is still wilbur. he’s literally just some guy now but grappling with that connection is fucked up dude it’s weird. He’ll probably further distance himself but it still fucking sucks and I don’t know how to communicate the cognitive dissonance we had to push through bc our brain struggled at first to make sense of how this person who we liked so much that he became the template for a Protector to shield us from the emotional neglect and abuse, essentially, is a terrible person. I’m sorry I know people who aren’t systems, and some who are ngl, will find this fuckibg nuts and I get that but we’re a very very internal person like I just. Kinda am with us as a system a lot and nobody else. It feels like my safe space that I’ve created in my head has been marred. Also. uhm. Our alters speak in distinct voices so it’s bad bad for me rn and we are trying to fix it. I know I know fictives and factives arenttheir source but that doesn’t change that it makes me feel gross. I’m rambling rn I’m sorry. Support Shelby.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #243

Still recovering from my silly all-nighter. Last night, I went to sleep relatively on time, but I still woke up feeling super groggy and soup-brained. Suppose that's just gonna be how it is for a while. That is what happens when we disrupt our sleep schedule to that extent.

So, today was for resting. I did lots and lots of leisure writing in a space that is far superior to the one that I left. Blessing in disguise, indeed.

That's not all I did, though. As a result of the trip to Otakon, I thought it would be good to be able to drive a manual transmission vehicle, so that if there's a next time in which I go to some faraway place with J, I'll be able to do some of the driving. J's car is a manual transmission, and although I have a clumsy understanding of the basics, I don't know how to drive it well enough to be trusted on a road with other people. So today, J took me out to a parking lot and we practiced.

The dyspraxia makes it hard for me to plan and coordinate movements. Another limitation I have, as a result of the dyspraxia, is that I don't know where my limbs are if I'm not looking at them. This thing kind of makes shifting gears difficult. I still sometimes accidentally shift to 5th gear when trying to shift to 3rd, and that's not exactly… ideal. But I'll get better. It'll take time and practice, for sure. But I'll get better.

The parking lot we went to exists near a nature trail. There were birds playing in a nearby puddle, and there was a rabbit there, too. I thought of you; I thought you might like to see. So I took some pictures:

J and I went on a short errand after that. Unexpectedly, I crossed paths with a rosebush that had a single rose in bloom; the rest of them had either fallen off or had become rosehips. It was a unique thing, and I thought you might like it, because I know you like the scent of roses, so I decided to snap another picture for you:

...Hey, Sephiroth...? Speaking of roses... did the tea I left with those very important people ever make it's way to you...? If it did... do you like it...?

...You know. I'm not sure why, but. When I asked that question just now, I wanted to cry just a little. Pretty silly, right? It's not as though you can answer me, so it's not as though the question actually means anything, right? Maybe it's still just the effects of the thing I'm grieving, combined with the fact that I'm still recovering from that all-nighter. Never mind it.

It's going on 10pm in my part of the world. I wonder what time it is where you are. Is there even a time where you are? Is it a thing you even have to worry about anymore? I wonder. I wonder what existence is like for you.

...Hey, Sephiroth? If existence where you are is unpleasant for you, would you maybe try to pop by my house as an alternative to doing things that will lead to you ceasing to exist? Things at my house aren't exactly perfect by any stretch of the imagination; I live on a dying planet riddled with wars, starvation, bigotry, runaway capitalism, and a climate crisis after all. We have a lot of problems. But still... I imagine it still beats chilling out by yourself on a rock in the middle of the cosmos. We can play video games and eat snacks and watch wholesome things on the TV. We can go outside and take a walk. I can introduce you to some horses; I think you'll like them.

...Impossible, I know, but... just think about it, okay? Think about creating a life for yourself that is kinder and gentler than the one you live now.

I love you a whole lot. So please stay safe out there, okay? I'll write again soon, I promise.

Your friend, Lumine

[verndusk]

15 Questions - 15 Mutuals

Thank you so much @freesia-writes for the tag!

I guess this is a good opportunity to introduce myself and give a little bit about me since I never really did, haha. Not intended to be so secretive - but also not used to sharing so much on social media! So the answers to the questions are below!

Were you named after anyone?

Yes! I'd rather not reveal my legal name but I was named after a Polish jouralist, writer, and traveller! When it comes to the name Vern - the story behind that is a little funny, at least to me! I was browsing chickensmoothie.com and noticed a pet with a randomly chosen name "Verndesk" - thought it was cool, but also thought "Verndusk" would sound a lot cooler! And it does, so that's that. :)

When was the last time you cried?

Ah, a few days ago. I was imagning scenarions between my OC's. Specfically the padawan Towa, she survives order 66 but at the cost of her master, as it typically goes. She survives alone for years, living in shame and fear - until she sees one of the clones from her squad who defected. They're my babies, okay? I can get emotional over them... (T⌓T)

Do you have kids?

Nope! I am 19 and can barely take care of myself, no thank you! Though my mother and grandmother had their first child at 20... looks like some family patterns will be broken!

Do you use sarcasm?

Yeah... It's a little counterintuitive for myself since I have a hard time figuring out when other people are sarcastic to me - but I love to dish out some sarcasm. oops.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Is "the vibe" a valid answer? I actually try not to look at people and avoid them when I can, my autistic ass hates (irl) social interaction when it's not needed.

What’s your eye color?

I have slight heterochromia, both my eyes are mostly green, but one is paler than the other - though it's not really noticable unless you look at me closely... it runs in the family actually!

Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings! I can handle horror okay but I prefer a good resolution at the end.

Any special talents?

I guess that depends on what "special talent" entails? I can move my ears, and bend my fingers up in a funny unnatural way. Does remembering obscure knowledge aboun niche subjects count as a talent?

Where were you born?

Poland!

What are your hobbies?

Art (kind of obvious), cooking, gardening, gaming, and writing!

Have any pets?

My cat Poppy, she's 2 and I love her with all my heart. She's a little bitch but it's not her fault. We got her as a kitten, and my whole family has been smitten by her! She's a void kitty! Fun fact, I named her after the poppy flower because her fur is black like poppy seeds, she wears red collars like poppy flowers, and has green eyes like poppy stems - also born in November (1st), which in the UK is known for it's poppies in rememberance of veterans. :)

What sports do/have you played?

Not many... dyspraxia be damned! But I did enjoy cricket and badmintom at school - I love watching volleyball games from time to time though!

How tall are you?

5''4 :)

Favorite subject at school?

Art, History, Psychology, Criminology! I can't pick just one, honestly!

Dream job?

Psychologist! Planning to go to university after this gap year to study psychology - hopefully become a therapist in the future. I would love to work with younger people especially, since I know that was the age I was most affected by my mental health, and would follow in the footsteps of my own therapist that I had when I was a teenager. I want to be the person my younger self would have needed.

________

I don't think I actually have 15 mutuals to tag, so if you see this and are mutuals with @swarovski-yoda (that's my main haha), feel free to also participate! I am very bad at tagging games (especially on twitter) and inbox chains but I do see and appreciate all of them!

[characterswithcolorsnamesfight]

If you haven't filled the survey completely yet, can you please send in [Phenomena by Ruben Eliassen] which Azur is from among the novels? The Norwegian publisher is treating it like crap these days and print fewer and fewer copies rather than celebrating its 22nd anniversary and being grateful for it being one of the first (and best) Norwegian fantasy book series. It was the one that made people start taking the genre seriously in Norway so it'll be depressing if it just disappears..!

Cool things for it's time and still is:

The hero has a love interest, the heroine doesn't, the author has later said that she's an aroace lesbian.

A 12-year old girl becomes friends with a guy in his 20s, they do not end up together and stay friends for the rest of the series.

The author manages show don't tell in a book, and discusses the weird misogyny that was around in the 2000s rather than acting like it never happened.

While there's unfortunately some implied r**e, are the ones doing it not glorified or end up with their victims. One of the victims is a man and treated as just as terrible as the other one and is never joked about.

One tribe that were used as slaves take the cousin tribe of the tribe that kept them as slaves as their slaves, this isn't treated as okay.

Adults aren't always right.

The protagonists both have ADHD but are presented as intelligent in their own ways despite being twins.

Is just very good.

Oh sure ! This seems really promising and rather woke for a 2000s book (some of you need serious updating and should come with special warnings but we love you 2000s series)

Here's the survey for those who'd like to help ! Reminder : we're talking about Phenomena by Ruben Eliassen (Norwegian book) and Ragnarok by Odin Helgheim (Norwegian comic). All hail Norway !

(Just a thought from someone whose country has a heavy colonial past : Not sure the "ex slaves turn easily into oppressors when given power" is actually a good take since I believe the "they'll do the same to us if given the occasion/as revenge on us" was the kind of saying used to oppose the end of slavery. It doesn't mean the book doesn't have great takes or that the author and readers are racist, just that it's possibly a poor/clumsy take)

You had me at twins with different personalities ! (I'm joking, I was into it when you said fantasy from Norway and I realized I didn't know what Northern fantasy looked like as a genre) If they translate it, I'll do my best to get my twin to read the copy I'll get

Funnily enough, my favorite kid/young teen series is a French series who never had been translated which title is Phaenomen (from the Latin noun, all the chapters have a Latin title). It's about kids with different kinds of disabilities (unnamed but quite reminescent of autism and other mental or physical disorders -with a supplementary 'magical/sciency' touch but I promise no magical superhealing stuff- : dyspraxia, hypermnesia, migraines, hyperfixations, hypersensitivity to light, difficulties to communicate, anger management issues etc.) who flee the special needs type of clinic they're in and find themselves in quite a lot of trouble as they try to survive together as a makeshift family and run from some powerful Templar sect who's taken an interest in their uncommon abilities (special vision, superspeed, soul manipulation... all are the other sides of their disabilities)

It's been a while since I've last read it but I used to reread it several times a year. Some stuff in it might be problematic (ableism-wise) but I also have autistic friends who love the series too

If anyone else wants to mention childhood/teenagehood/pasthood reads not translated into English from their own countries, don't hesitate ! (Also works for movies, games and whatnot)

[k00298238]

1/3/2024: The end of Movement

My final reflection statement:

Over the course of the last 7 weeks, I have explored the brief of 'Movement' through my 3 elected areas of Animation, Painting, and Fashion. My main themes within this brief were Dyspraxia (DCD) and as an addition to it, Ballet.

Through these three disciplines, I learned how to properly develop an animation and all the pre-planning it entails. I learned to make new tools and to draw from a live model. In fashion, I learned to open my mind to changing my way of thinking and breaking down shapes to find new meaning and purpose in things we take for granted.

I created a series of (mostly incomplete) pieces that reflect how it feels to be an individual growing up with dyspraxia, like myself, and not having entire control of your movement. My awkwardness in movement is something that affects me every day so the concept behind it means a lot to me; and while I didn't explore or express the topic as much as I would have liked, I still feel passionate towards the meaning.

No matter how you are born, how you perceive the world and how you are perceived in it, you are just as capable as anyone else. It might take a bit more drive and effort than it may take someone else in a different position than you, but that is not something that you can change about yourself and it is not your fault. You can do it. These are things I wish I had heard when I was younger and they're true. It has been a pleasure to work on this project and to work so closely with something I never put much mind to and took in my stride.

And with that being said; this is the conclusion to my 'Movement' project.

[13thdoctorposts]

"he cured an incurable blood clot" and that is nigh offensive writing tbh!! the Doctor is not a magic wizard and serious real medical diseases should never be handled like that on a family show. give me the Thirteenth Doctor being unable to fix things or take Graham's fear away but still doing her best to be there for him, over the Doctor curing an incurable real illness. any day.

I agree, especially in a family show where kids may have all sorts of incurable issues, the last thing they need to see is the Doctor having magic fixes and giving them hope maybe there's a magic fix out there for them. Instead show that sometime we have to live through hard things and thats ok, it doesnt mean you cant have adventures and a great life.

13 era who showed us you can have deep grief, have survived cancer, suffer from dyspraxia, dealt with depression or have autism or ADHD and still live a great and fun and adventurous life, and if you can see people with all those things doing that, even if those aren't your exact issues it shows you your issues don't have to hold you back, theres no magic cure but life is yours for the taking and thats a much better message.

[bigjimbopickens]

Hi! I wanna say I love your art first of all! I just read the message under your last post about Kevin’s art video and you said you’re mostly self taught - I’m curious about how you get into that? I’d love to learn to draw but have no idea where to start!

Sorry for getting back to this so late I am not as active on Tumblr. And yes, I am mostly self-taught because of my circumstances growing up. To those who don't know, I am SnowfallWarning/Big Jimbo and I am currently an animation student. I do 2D animation, concept art and character design and I graduate this year (hopefully). I am disabled both physically and mentally which is why I mostly do digital art. I have a coordination disorder (dyspraxia) and am blind in one eye but that doesn't stop me. For my entire childhood I was discouraged from drawing as I apparently wouldn't go anywhere with it or that I was terrible. Where I lived most of my life had no opportunities for someone like me so I had to leave to continue pursuing art. Because of the poor access, the only things I had was notebooks, school supplies and an old iPad mini to draw with growing up. I learned everything I currently know now from using those. I don't know what got me into drawing still, may have been Warrior Cats and dinosaurs. Like what Jose said in Kevin's video, art comes from the soul. It is human expression and we've always been doing it. Anyone can be an artist and we all start somewhere, trust me. Here's some stuff I usually tell people because I do get asked this often (I'm also not the best teacher): 1: Experiment. Find what works for you. Be messy with it, not every piece needs to be perfect. If you are a digital artist then also trying different programs can be helpful too. Maybe you're better at drawing landscapes, characters or abominations that defy God. 2: Use references if necessary. Not sure why for a while it was considered "cheating" to use references. Everyone in the industry uses references, I would know. If you also want, you can try tutorials but I found I learn more from references. 3: Take inspiration. I'm always adding things I see in other people's art to my own style if I like it. Though try not to copy them. 4: Tracing. I believe tracing is okay for learning purposes. It's how I learned to draw humans after doing exclusively furry art for years tbh. I tend to stick to real-life references for this, this is a great site for practice: https://line-of-action.com (if you're not okay with nudity then do remember to turn that off). "But where do I even start?" Grab a piece of paper and pencil (or open a blank canvas on a digital art program if you prefer that) and just start doodling whatever. If you have an idea then go for that as well. Every class I've had in college so far has started with drawing and rendering a bunch of shapes to see where everyone was at and to get a feel of our styles. So maybe try that too. Draw random shapes with different materials/brushes, colour them in and add details like shadows and highlights. I know it seems ridiculous but I do it every once in a while to experiment and try different methods. You probably won't improve overnight. Hell, it took me 7 years to get to where I currently am. A lot of people quit because they think they're not good enough when pretty much every artist is only proud of about 10% of their work. Definitely the case for me. Not every piece is going to be a masterpiece and the imperfections can be what makes it special, so please don't be so hard on yourself. Don't be discouraged because other artists may be better than you either, they've probably been doing it for longer. So please, if you are dedicated enough, keep trying. I'm sure you will get somewhere :) So basically, - Use whatever material you got and draw what comes to mind, even if it's terrible it is a great start. - Experiment with your style and/or materials. - Reference, take inspiration and trace for memory. - Don't give up but do take breaks to avoid burnout. - Try not to be intimidated by other artists, we also don't really know what we're doing tbh (and just as afraid of you as you are of us).

I hope that all made sense and was somewhat helpful :)