#it's like his mind is in a fog
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That "I think I see someone I lost across the room so I go to them but no it's someone totally different who I've confused because I'm staring at them like I haven't seen them in a million years" scenario but with Rick
#rambles#Rick and Morty#idk why?? but I just imagined him out with the kids doing something and there's someone who looks faintly like Diane from a distance#and even though he knows she wouldn't be 'his'#it's the fact that he thinks he's seeing her living and breathing and oh no his legs are moving and he can't stop them#it's like his mind is in a fog#but then this woman turns around and nope it's totally someone different just maybe with similar hair and face shape#poor woman's confused and nervous bc how else are you going to react when a stranger old man walks up to you and has no idea what to say#summer and morty have to whisk him away to kill the awkwardness like “ohh grandpa walking away again hahaha sorry about that”#i think morty would get the hint but summer is wondering why her grandpa is being weird to people again
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it would have been very beautiful. camilla would have had to cook (horrible bone soup)
#HELLO back at it again#tug introduced groundbreaking new findings about soul permeability but my mind bypassed all that in favour of this au#the division of labour is as follows:#dulcie reads the instructions; snacks; and changes the radio station every time she doesn’t like a song#if you complain she will remind you she's literally dying. life is too short and mediocre songs are too long#pal gets stuff from high shelves and battles his constantly fogged up glasses#he tried to help with prep once and promptly got himself banned from using knives for the rest of his life#cam does 98% of the actual cooking#trivia section -#you can tell i am new to this because i arranged them in the wrong speaking order. let’s all practice our right to left reading#cam has a silly novelty apron because a) the idea was unbearably funny to me and b) i need to spread the gospel (aroace cam)#the cookbooks next to dulcie are ‘a few teaspoons of salt’ (by ianthe tridentarius)#and ‘saintly feasts: food for saints and scholars’ which is a real book! though not written by cassiopeia the first#*#dulcie septimus#dulcinea septimus#camilla hect#palamedes sextus#the locked tomb#field sketches#<< i get to have an art tag now!
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a feverish satoru, flushed and skin scorching, drained of all energy, body weighed down by weakness
a satoru who's completely dazed, eyes glossed over, at the edge of losing consciousness as sukuna slams into him relentlessly, reveling in just how good he feels. so tight and so delightfully hot
satoru's voice is small and he huffs out airy moans and he's soft and pliant under sukuna's hand, sukuna being able to maneuver him however he pleases, the other drained of even the tiniest bit of power to resist
and sukuna turns him over to have him on all fours, but he's strengthless, his limbs are shaky, he can't even hold himself up, and his hands and legs give out under him as he goes to collapse onto the bed, sukuna having to circle an arm around his waist and press fingers at his neck to hold him up, burning back flush against sukuna's chest, sukuna's thrusts shaking his entire body, which grows hotter and more subdued with each drag of sukuna's cock against his walls
#f.txt#sukuna's just. going crazy. bc he feels so good so so SO GOOD.#he's tight and his walls are scorching and every thrust feels absolutely heavenly.#i like to imagine a sukuna who's totally overcome with pleasure. huffing desperately against gojo's neck. blissful. mind fogged. the burn o#each drag of his cock an ache that's felt through the entirety of his body.#and overexertion of gojo's body means he's not getting better. so sukuna can have even more fun with his feverish body#satoru passes out under sukuna every time#jjk#sukugo#ns4w#goD sick gojo hhhfdsgfhsgdjhdkfjhdsfdsjkfsfdgfgd *explodes in horrny*
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happy no yo-kai watch announcement ig. uhhh.
take more yo-kai watch/persona 4 crossover art (i wanted to draw more but this took like an hour alone)-
#doodles#yo-kai watch#ykw#persona 4#p4#jibanyan#nate adams#teddie persona 4#teddie hanamura#yosuke hanamura#yosuke and teddie being brothers is so real to me. i'm definitely not biased *kicks me being a teddie kinnie under the rug*#i mean that's not the only reason but i AM biased-#i'll probably draw more ykw/p4 stuff i have lots of shenanigans in mind tbh#like the investigation team being extremely confused by teddie talking to jibanyan#(i feel like him being a shadow and also his eyes being lenses according to him would probearbly let him do that naturally#but the rest of the investigation team would probably need their glasses from the tv world#i feel like those would probearbly dually function as yo-kai lenses iirc the exacts of why they work#which i probably don't it's been like two months since i started playing p4 a lot of the exact details are kinda lost on me now tggcgxhfb-)#also teddie casually bringing up that one of his friends is an idol and jibanyan fanboying#(next harmeowny is better in his opinion but risette is also very poggers)#probably more too idk. anyways#i have intense p4 brainrot it's great i love funny fog and tv murder mystery game#‚‚‚ just realized i accidentally spoiled p4 stuff earlier in the tags without thinking-#so uh. oops-
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Scratches chin.
While I have already spoilered the Liminal Laboratories plotline, I couldn't completely justify H:SR Kaeya's haunting of Dr. Wuchlock even after he got revenge on him. By this point, the man has been reduced to an husk of himself, and will never harm anyone ''for the betterment of humankind'', as he used to say, ever again. It felt like by robbing him of alcohol and coming to poke at him once a month, for some as level-headed as Kaeya, was a bit too extreme and petty even for him, and I was pondering if to keep this facet of him in the portrayal. But then I thought about the concept of beings of the Enigmata a bit more, and I had the most fucking coming-to-Jesus moment ever. On my own fucking lore for my own fucking verse.
Zoom real fucking close to this post. Put it on 200%, we're going places and you're coming with me liking it or not.
Beings of the Enigmata predominantly act robotic-like and on logic-based courses of actions, and this is essentially what can give an ''off'' feeling that makes normal people question these impostors. Emotions are mimicked, rather than felt, until one starts being more in tune with their human-ification process, like Kaeya does with specific partners of his. A being is going to want to study what emotions are as much as possible in order to pass off as human, but most of the time they feel less of what an human would. Their act is to appear normal, and this has been enstabilished by now in this verse. With this, I imagine that an extreme situation would bring out a extreme emotion- and beings aren't equipped to sustain a large surge of this due to their predominantly logical nature and their unattunement to natural emotions.
And here's my fucking HOLY-FUCKING-SHIT moment, keep following me here: Kaeya acts on logic, as a being of the Enigmata. With this logic, he thought that if he offered himself to the facility's experiments, due to being an Emanator with much more power and features than Hannah, Wuchlock would have accepted and let her go in order to start experimenting on him. It would have given them better results in perhaps a much shorter time, and Hannah could have been let go and returned to wherever her home was with her son. This was Kaeya's course of thinking, and a naive one at that in the simple way beings tend to try and resolve conflict.
And, by refusing this course of actions, Wuchlock did not only did a stupid thing: in a moment of extremely high emotions, he caused an ''injury'' in the very core of how a being works. He refused the perfectly woven logic for a reason Kaeya could not comprehend, and confusion turned to anger as he kept trying to plead with the man who was refusing his solution citing how they were ''at an incredibly advanced point'' in their studies with the being they had captured to start anew.
During his rampage of justice through the facility to free Hannah and her son Joakim and bring down the entire thing, I write him as robotic as possible: during that time he doesn't think with complex feelings, simply hacks down everyone that attacks him or tries to harm his companions, lets those who surrended go, acts ''revenge'' upon Wuchlock, and with bringing Hannah and her son away from the planet, his task is complete. During this time, being gunned down equaled to killing the threat before the armed soldiers of the facility could get to his companions, someone surrendering and begging him to spare them meant that they no longer had any fight in them and could be safely let go due to their ''fear'' perceived as emotion, and leaving the facility meant that they could no longer be captured and harmed. Logical and simple thoughts/actions move Kaeya to the end of this plotline.
After the entire affair is over, it took Kaeya a long while to learn how to get back in tune with the emotions he has explored during his human-ification. It was an huge set back for him, and he doesn't like to talk about these times.
And here we are with the truth of what happened: the anger that Kaeya felt in a moment of extreme emotional distress, due to not being able to understand human logic and having his rejected, was so powerful, so consuming, that it ''burned'' part of him away, as if he was undergoing the being-ification again. In a much simpler word, a failsafe mechanism sprung to life within him. Beings are not supposed to feel this kind of intense emotions, and something that's causing the strong emotional pain must be sacrificed in order to restore and stabilize their status as logical beings, per how they were created to be and continue functioning over the human Fictionologists.
Part of Kaeya, along with his trust in humankind and how they handled things, was burned that day in order to keep him functioning. Part of his emotive growth shut down in order to bring back the ''being'' that he was before ''Kaeya Alberich''.
This explains a lot of things, down to his actions becoming overly-logical and straightforwardly simple after his confrontation with the biologist, to Hannah being so apprehensive about him as soon as she sees him after being freed: the anger burning away at Kaeya should not have happened. It's an alarming thing for beings to experience extreme emotions under extremely stressful conditions.
As for him tormenting Wuchlock: I imagine that beings of the Enigmata stick close to the people who have evoked such strong emotions in them to fundamentally change them. Be it anger, hate, amusement and fun, intense melancholy etc., because it's a foreign thing for them to feel so much, they stick close to the ones summoming surges of emotions out of them, consciously or not. This choice of Kaeya is conscious, and it's as much of a form of revenge as it's the instinct to study what emotions the old scientist with granitic determination that has turned into a frail old man summons within him.
tl;dr: Beings of the Enigmata can feel extremely intense emotion(s) in stressful situations; in these cases, a ''failsafe'' mechanism activates within them, ''burning'' away part of them in order to restore the logic-based individual that they are and keep them going. This is what happened to Kaeya in the LL plotline.
#from another realm ━ (ooc)#riddle me this; is everything that you remember real and nothing but the pure truth? ━ (H:SR V.)#you no longer know me; shrouded in the fog of mystery ━ (H:SR V. Headcanons)#most people i know: curated lore and theories about their stuff#my lore: comes in my room at 4am. slaps me and calls me a loser. tells me to write this the fuck down. i do. it leaves.#i do NOT have control over my own lore. i wish i was joking but this verse is made entirely of sudden dots connecting#i like to think that this is myt.hus way of showing that THEY care about their beings: making sure they never stop functioning#despite the emotional pain they may feel when they humanize myth.us mechanism will always make them function again#i imagine that theyre a bit absentee as an aeon yet omnipresent everywhere... including their creations. this makes me sick#its kae.yas face being all twisted with emotions and then after a long second it smooths over with calm. extremely creepy for me#he may have an human-like body but his mind is far more robotic than anything else. :)
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I love comfort sona (Aku) and fursona (JellyBear)
Here is some oldish arts of them from earlier this year and some from last year I can't remember
Also yes Aku is just straight up missing an eye, he had a bad kerfuffle with a nightmare beast once
#little demon gummy bear and his blood moon dragon bf#jelly is specifically nonbinary and goes by all pronouns btw#aku is a cis guy#but doesnt mind being called a girl by accident#it happens sometimes#i shoukd draw jelly using his chest fluff as a pillow to scream into sometime#also if you still reading this#my favorite thing to tell about aku all the time and im sure i have before on my blog#aku is icy cold to the touch!#his breath makes fog in the summed he is so cold#jelly being made of slime like gummy#this is very nice for him#theg loves hugging his icy cold dragon bf
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(face in hands) (again) men will simply feel the walls closing in around them
#my brother got covid from hanging out with his boyfriend. again.#and by the sounds of it they want to quarantine at our house.#ih his room which is. you know. directly adjacent to my room.#aaaaa and we have a trip coming up in two weeks and then my job starts in full and just#if he comes here i’m literally leaving to go stay at my partner’s instead#but it’s killing me because i’ll have to leave my pc and tablet behind and just#aaaaaaa i feel stressed i feel stressed#i’ve been in an exhausted fog for the past two weeks and it feels like i can’t get anything done#it’s like time has just been slipping by me and it makes me So So Upset#like what do you mean we’re more than halfway through august!!!!#and yet also: FUCK!!!!! I TOTTED THROUGH AUGUST!!!!!#i’m coming dangerously close to feeling the way i did during spring semester#when my brain is craving a release like crack cocaine but it’s not coming#every other day i’m dealing with work crap and hassling with irl things#and when i’m not doing that i’m rotting at my desk fatigued out of my mind#trying my best not to pass out until 9pm when it’s reasonable to do so#just staring at whatever video i can put on and blaring it loudly so i don’t fall asleep#aaaaa…………..i want out of this………. i’m on my break and yet i still want out aaaaaa……..
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You should go for it! Artist style be damned, even though you have a very lovely one. Have fun, try it out! It's a neat concept, so give it a shot!
💖💖💖
.dmdnfnfksk
ENCOURAGING WORDS FROM THE ETHER!!!! Aaaa I should at least try.
I've been imagining him playing pool for DAYS and I've been too scared of fucking up the vision to draw it.
Augh
Beta beloved
#text post#ask#just rambling#IM GONNA!!!! TRY!!!!!!!!#That focused look on his face#the smoke fogging the room. Maybe a couple other neighbors there.#oh maybe i can draw Sunny for the first time!#or just Beta. idk i really shouldnt shoot too high gkdjgjkdkfbdk#my mind wants to make it such a big piece but i know i wont execute it like i wanna. maybe i can at least do some sketches to get it OUT#aaaa#anyway!!!!
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ok i might need to force myself to not romance astarion bc i don't want to know what it says about me to turn down karlach, the woman of my dreams, the character made to cater me personally, like, if she was real i'd bring the moon and stars down for the chance to see her smile, she's everything i've hoped for in a rpg companion, what does it say about me if i turn that down for someone like astarion
#ngl karlach would be too good for me and i wouldnt deserve it#shed probably ask me stuff like 'what do you want?' upon which i would be paralyzed with fear my mind completely blank unable#to process why i can't answer a simple question#and she's so up front with her emotions which i absolutely adore but i could not reciprocate that#wait am i actually for real avoiding the karlach romance bc i feel like this fictional character from a video game is too good for me#a real human being. like. i think i would feel guilty about romancing her#which makes no sense bc i romance characters too good for anyone all of the time. but idk#in those cases ive always had like a strong character i play as who is very divorced from who i am#but playing as durge there is no past so idk who my tav is yet so all i can do is project so he feels very. personal#im v sleepy and also ive had brain fog all day so yea idk#i mean i do genuinely like astarion and his character but in his case i dont feel guilty bc i feel like i#i have no idea how to finish that sentence without it sounding like 'i can fix him'#bc i dont want to fix him i want to show him compassion and respect him and his boundaries so he'll be able to reclaim tje feeling of#being in control of his life#so he'll stop putting people down to feel like hes on a pedestal#like i get him and why he is like that but i just feel like being kind and caring towards him would feel so good#it wouldnt fix him and thats a good thing bc i dont want him to change who he is but i do think he needs support#also hes hot im so mad at myself for being so atteacted to him#we wouldnt b here if i didnt have a thing for voices#besides thag back to the main point of astarion its like. ugh! im so frustrated rn bc i dont have the words#to express my emotions toward him bc everything ive said lacks the nuance that im feelikg but idk how to put it in words#i guess i want to protect him? that such a terrible sentence and still not what om going for
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on a show of hands who here remembers how possession works in the 80s universe it was SO long ago I'm assuming none of you do
#anyway the kids pilot edgar like a fucken. mech all the time and he just kinda lets it happen because experiencing living again makes-#-them happy#it only dies down when Isaac and Noah enter the picture and 1. he does not want them using him as a meat puppet and scaring off isaac n noa#2. once they actually know about the ghosts and they can see how badly it fucks him up because of how frequently they do it...#they put their foot down about it#they just take a while to realize what is actually happening bc. it's edgar.#finding him throwing up isn't something unusual. like he is actually in pretty decent health aside from his disabilities in jack's universe#but you cannot look me in the eye and say that you'd be surprised to find him looking gaunt and about to pass out it's edgar.#common side effects of possession include:#memory loss; nausea; dissociation; phantom pains; brain fog; vertigo; and delayed response to stimuli#but that's just the physical effects. if your body is fighting to kick out a spirit (which edgar's usually isn't) it causes a lot of-#-mental distress and paranoia#the phantom pains specifically are your body and mind trying to sort itself out. the spirit still retains the wounds that lead to death#e.g.; eddie would experience shortness of breath and tension/pain in his neck when mads is controlling him#bc she was strangled
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at first i was writing a lot of grief stuff to process my own which is still the case but at this point it's mostly the grief has been here for so long and is not going away so and i'm tired so i might as well have fun with it
#putting off going outside to do the things i need to do rn....griefblogging time#like im playing a competition with myself for what's the weirdest and most entertaining take on grief i can write and i always win#stopping myself from doing a tag essay on how i see grief like bestie that's for the substack#im not tired of it as in i want my grief to go away because its here forever and you knowww#grief is the product of love etc etc etc#i dont mind it being there but all the Symptoms of it like fatigue and brain fog are getting ANNOYINGGGG#i wrote something like this before i fell asleep about how beau thinks his grief is dull but it's his lol#most of our grief is actually very different...like he wants to feel haunted but is unnerved by the moments#that feel like he is#whereas i experience what i believe are signs from my mom and im like YAYYYYY HI MOM HIIIIII :3#beau wants signs but then he gets what could be seen as signs and it kind of just ruins his day#but it also ruins his day if he doesn't get any#idk im putting him through it for the sake of the plot#im soo excited to play with the haunting aspect of the book because its not a literal supernatural haunting but also. its close#wrote hell instead of well at first thats symbolic of something
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does anyone wanna hear about the dream i had last night huh huh
#uhm cw body horror and like. excessive violence ahead#honestly i'd forgotten abt it until i saw the post i made mentioning it again💀#i wanna talk abt it cause it was CRAZY#but i'm not lying when i say it was visceral and graphic and grosss so so gross#i don't remember it as well now cause like i said i'm kinda used to this shit so it doesn't weigh heavy on my mind or anything#but my dreams have been so VIVID lately so it was just kinda jarring#anyways#it was like. i was watching a movie?#except i didn't like explicitly feel like i was in the dream but like. if my soul was kinda just kicking it watching a movie with someone#if that makes sense#idk who i was with i think it was a just a general person tm#and the movie was like. a group of girls who had to get something to complete some kind of mission? like they needed something to finish a#goal idkthat part wasn't rlly the most memorable thing to me#what WAS memorable was that they killed a man. specifically:#one girl like had her legs wrapped around his neck while suffocating him with a clear plastic bag. so u could see it fog up and him scream#and stuff. and then they ripped off the skin on his chest and stomach? like they skinned him alive ? while he was being suffocated#idk where my brain gets this stuff#anyways. they weren't even skinning him with something sharp. they held something dull to him so hard and pressed and pulled so hard that i#just up and ripped the skin and some muscle off#i guess they needed the skin and muscle for something. and like he fell unconsious and bled out on the floor with the blood splattered bag#on his head still. rip guy#and the girls were covered in blood but kinda just continued their business. and were like observing the skin and muscle#like it was all bloody and the muscle strings and fiber and stuff..idk i'm not a doctor#and then one of the girls ate some of the muscle idk why she did that#and then they went to give the shit to wherever they were taking it for whatever reason. but the worst part to me was that whoever i was#watching the movie with was rlly upset and said#'this is just so upsetting because there was no reason for him to suffer and die like that'#and then i woke up!#so i think i'm unwell! or that i'm not taking to my new meds very well#who's to say
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Also Thinkin abt glitch
#she hops up on fog’s counter and plugs herself in while they’re talking and like. no his counter outlets aren’t gonna charge her in any#reasonable amount of time. but also she doesn’t care and he doesn’t mind.
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𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𐙚⋆.˚
The white haired man using his fingers to spread your sticky, cum coated folds while Geto’s fat cock stretched you out. Creamy white spread along his veiny length as he fucked into you nice and slow.
“Look at that. So fuckin’ filthy Suguru. Your cock’s stretching her so wide.” Gojo groaned, leaning down to place a soft kiss to your clit, smirking against your skin when you trembled with a whine.
“She’s real noisy too. Pretty little slut’s taking my cock so well.” Geto grunted, pace speeding up as you moaned and whimpered beneath him. Your back arching with cry when Gojo began to rub quick circles on your clit. Your vision clouding as you sniffled at the overstimulation. “Suguu— hmm fuckk. I c-can’t, ‘m sensitive.”
He’d already made you cum so many times, fucking into you while Gojo whispered into your ear. Driving you over the edge again and again and again.
“Awww. You’re sensitive f’me huh baby?” Geto cooed, thumb wiping a stray tear off your cheek as you nodded shakily. “Hmm ‘s alright darling. You can take it ain’t that right Toru?”
“Of course she can, can’t ya sweetheart?”
“B-but-”
“I said you can take it baby. So you’re gonna take it like a good girl yeah?” Geto husked, his cock twitching as you whimpered with parted lips. Your body being rocked back and forth with each of his hard thrusts.
“Pussy’s so fuckin’ wet. ‘S dripping everywhere baby.” Gojo groaned, eyes half lidded when he brought his face closer. Geto’s hand on the back of his head pushing him down into you. “Just give it t’ her already Toru.”
Gojo hummed, immediately getting to work lapping at your sopping pussy. Licking around Geto’s thick cock before swirling your clit into his mouth. Sucking at the sensitive bud with small moans of his own. Chin glistening with your slick as he buried his face as far between your puffy folds as he could.
“So damn sweet.” He grunted, hands spreading your thighs even further for both him and Geto. His tongue never slowing its torture as the other fucked you deep, hips repeating slamming into yours with a loud squelch. The lewd sound mixed with that of Gojo’s greedy tongue fogging both their brains and yours.
Your cries of their names getting louder as your stomach tightened, Gojo’s hard grip on your flesh preventing you from desperately pulling away from the overwhelming pleasure. “I can’t— nngh, ‘s too muchh.”
“Yes you can. Just let go f’us okay? Give us one more ‘kay baby?”
You felt your toes curl, your body beginning to shake as you let out a whiny cry. The stimulation to both your g spot and your clit fogging your mind as your sensitivity intensified. Tears staining your flushed cheeks as yet another orgasm washed over you. This one even more powerful than the last.
“There ya go. That’s our good girl.” Geto grinned, watching as you quivered in their hold as he sloppily fucked himself with your tightness. Slowly coming to a stop to pump you deep n’ full of his cum. Gojo basking in how much wetter you had become.
They both pulled away from you. Matching smirks on their faces as you tried to catch your breath. A small pout on your face when you huffed tiredly, “Meanies.”
#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo smut#gojo x reader#gojo x reader smut#jjk x reader smut#gojo satoru smut#geto x reader smut#gojo x reader x geto#geto suguru smut#geto smut#geto x reader#geto suguru#gojo satoru#geto suguru x reader
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I was just wondering, how would slender court someone? This isn’t a request, I’m just genuinely curious
uhm u know wht.. ive never really given it much thought... i don't actually write a lot of slender content so i've never had to think for it but.
it would take courting so seriously, like. slender is the type to ask for permission to even start courting you in the first place. i won't tell you that it is romantic, because it doesn't know anything about romance, but it certainly tries.
it can't give you grand gifts or anything of the sort unless it tasks a proxy to do so. which... i mean.... it's certainly a thought that crosses its mind but.
so while it can't shower you with gifts (unless that's something you want then... i mean... i guess it wouldn't hurt to have toby fetch something that catches your interest. just once or twice.), it will definitely spend as much time with you as it can.
slender would want to take its time courting you for many different reasons, namely because it isn't... actually sure what the difference it between courting and dating.
it also seems like the type to gift u rocks. rocks r nice gifts, so it gives u the best rocks it can find.
#anon#archived mind of v: thoughts and opinions.#slenderman#does this make sense....#idk.... kinda got some brain fog rn so im not sure if im like#articulating my words correctly or not#it Definitely asks sally for gift ideas bc it knows nothing abt what humans like to receive as gifts#but sally is. a child. so try as she might she can't give solid advice#the only other people it can ask r toby and kate but god#toby like... 100% fuckin sucks at gift-giving#he'd probably pull flowers out of the ground#roots and all#and have that be his gift#kate.... maybe??#i think kate would be its safest option to get gift giving advice from but#push comes to shove it very well may force itself to speak with one of the many guests of the mansion#which. man. idk. slender may be doomed guys#i dont think any of these ppl can or will give good advice#no u know what#nina. nina is the go-to gift-giving advice aficionado#in nina we trust
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What's the weirdest dream/nightmare you've had?
Pukicho story time???
This happened in 2004, I lived in Ireland. I had one very particular dream that I still often think about to this day:
It started in an unusual flat, somewhere up high. It was modern for the time, it felt decidedly Y2K. Every piece of furniture, the walls, the lamps, they were all bright pink. It was so trendy that it almost felt like a parody of itself, but I was a kid, and my mind wasn't clever enough for the act of parody. I would've simply forgotten this flat ever existed if the latter-half of the dream didn't leave such a permanent mark on my memory - now I can recall every last detail.
I asked a stranger to use the restroom. The toilet was downstairs, so I opened up the door to a utility stairwell and began heading down, alone.
I could look through the center of the staircase column, it was pitch-black and there was no visible bottom. I remember going down the staircase for hours, literal hours - A dark, oppressive hum from pipes and vents blinded my ears and shook the inside of my stomach with its volume. I remember thinking how long the dream felt in this moment, I recall getting consciously impatient, but I kept going. My eyes couldn't adjust to the nearly invisible-darkness surrounding me so I put my hand against the walls and handrail for guidance and shuffled downward like a blind man without his walking-stick.
Finally, only a moment before the tension would have juddered me awake, I found the door to the bathroom. I opened it up; to my relief there was light. The room was rectangular, on one end was a boxed-shaped shower with fogged glass, on the other end, a toilet. The floor and wall were decorated by the same beige tile - it all looked hastily plastered. I sat down to do my business. At this moment, the ballooning anxiety I had felt outside had dissipated almost entirely. I sat in silence - I remember acknowledging the sheer contrast in volume between the AC-hum in the bathroom to the oppressive roar from the stairwell.
It was good to be sitting there. I remember feeling as though the dream had slowly turned into a nightmare - but consciously, everything felt right again. Nothing happened for a long time. It grew so boring and tame that my mind stopped focusing on the dream entirely, and I began fading into memoryless sleep. And then the lights went out.
At this point, sitting in a darkness even blacker than the one I had just emerged from, not even a hum could be heard. The only noise I could hear, and just barely, was my own brain-matter hitting against the sides of my ears, bellowing a deep subharmonic hum from within my own skull. Suddenly, every semblance of safety was ripped from my chest, and I sat there, feeling in greater danger than I ever had before. I felt a pressure so omniscient that it choked me -- but nothing came, nothing happened. I waited for minutes - minutes where each second could be counted down in scrutinizing specificity, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, and with no presumption, I felt coarse electricity pumping through my chest. I wrangled with myself in my own bed, feeling what felt like infinite pain pass through me. I could feel myself yelling from within the dream through the vibration of my lungs. A cacophonous buzzing bled into my ears as thousands of people screamed from within my skull. The cries of a falling choir ran-through their screams, like angels falling from heaven.
At the very same moment, a body appeared in the shower. It glowed yellow, so bright and irradiated I could hardly look directly at it. It caressed itself, clawing into its body like it was reeling from immeasurable pain. It moved unnaturally, squirming and spasming as if fast-forwarded. The glass blurred its details, but it did nothing to mask its energy. It was as if it held the sun inside of its own stomach. I felt as though an intruder entered my own mind and I had no power to stop it. Just being near it was enough to kill me, and I was already dying.
The wall of sound lasted not even one full-second - and then - a piercing zap shot me up from my bed, and that was it. I can't remember anything past that point, but I assume I went back to bed shortly thereafter, forgetting what had just happened, if only for that one night. I must have had a vapid dream, worthless and memoryless, unknowing that I had just lived a dream so dreadful that it'd stick to my psyche like tar for the rest of my life.
No other dream has ever felt that way since. It was as if a second-soul decided to visit me, a soul stronger and more omnipotent than mine. Surely a dream is just a dream, regardless of the feeling it gives you, but now I go to bed every night, wishing I'll be the only soul residing within its story.
End!!
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