#it's just. so bad. it's so awful. it's so garbage. god

[paperhats-and-evil-schemes]

Me: //brushing up on my old Paperhat fanfics to make sure I'm getting details right for the new one//

Me @ my past readers:

[shift-shaping]

hahahahahahaha

[james-is-nasqueer]

anyone else seeing some distasteful kurt busch dwi takes or is it just me

[bucephaly]

Oh my g-d okay your tags on the Cherokee 'great grandma was a princess' post. 'Spirit wolf' whatever names? According to the BIA, that's literally a sign that a tribe is full of shit. A lot of times, the folks running admin for these groups have names like 'Big Standing Bear Jones'. My personal favorite was 'Buffalo Sister'. It's connected to 'naming ceremonies' they give themselves, which is also a common thing the BIA has noticed with all of these groups. Whatever you do don't go on Tiktok it's terrible there

YEA I think I've seen you talk abt that before, or I've seen it somewhere. It does feel like I see bogus state tribe people talk about getting Naming Ceremonies soooo often and then actual connected people ive seen are like. 'Yea my grandma just called me worm' or smth lmao.

It's so funny cuz the 'cherokee names' in the fake tribes are always in English... or at least mostly. I've even heard someone say 'I was named [such and such in english] and we just don't know what it would be in cherokee yet' like. A cherokee name..... get this... a cherokee name is by definition... in cherokee.

[spikeyjo]

Siri how do i stop the cycle without doing these bitchass tiny steps

[kenobihater]

the last remaining threads of my sanity are slipping through my fingers rn 🚬 😑

[navree]

a friend asked me why all the accents on bridgerton sound so badly fake when the actors are all actually british and i realized that it’s because the writing is so incredibly bad trying to make the dialogue work in a human mouth is literally distorting the acting and the talking. and i’m right.

[autistic-beshelar]

oxenfree fucking sucks

[montanabohemian]

for me it was: YOU HAD THEE JACK BLACK AND YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WITH THAT. NOTHING. he just stood there?????? IT'S JACK BLACK FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. how do you fuck up something SO EASY?????

i am still literally BAFFLED by those celeb cameos. like way to instantly take away the beauty, thoughtfulness and seriousness of the first two mando seasons. like what the actual fuck was that. never in my life could’ve i imagined we’d be here after s1 and s2. literally what an instant joke this show has become in my mind. pathetic.

[chaedomi]

i'm currently thinking about men who are dangerous. i'm talking about men who are capable of instilling fear in the hearts of many with a simple mention of their name. men who are utterly vile and straight-up diabolical. men who have a terrifying reputation… where people are baffled when they see how soft and putty they become in the presence of their cute, sweet wife. (cw: yandere, implied violence) / mlist.

LANTE is known to be beyond merciless. It does not matter the age, gender, etc… once you are deemed unfit and unworthy of his time and effort, he will simply discard you like a piece of garbage without second thoughts. He claims to be foreign to the concept of love, but, as of now, he has morphed into a stuttering and sweaty mess under the presence of his wife, who stood in the background with her arms folded and a displeased pout plastered on her face. He very well knew how much she disapproved of his methods, and god, was it a sight to see such a powerful man’s visage crumble in seconds flat. He debates with himself, whether to usher you off and have you wait for him, or leave with you. However, he quickly chooses the second option when he catches the smallest teardrops at the corner of your eyes, rushing to your side. He is aware that your tears are fake. Damn, he couldn't bear it at all, wanting to get rid of your 'grief' whether it may be slow-dancing with you in the privacy of your room, or drowning you in riches. And with a lovestruck smile, an expression he has not given to anyone else, he left the dungeons beside you, leaving the formerly tortured prisoner dumbfounded and in awe.

Many tend to walk eggshells around DION as a result of his fearsome personality. They have heard of the gruesome things he does to his victims and without much effort too, as though it were some everyday activity to him. Dion was also known to be crueler and more sadistic than his father, so, it was even worse if he was already in a bad mood, where anything could set him off in the wrong manner. However, it was just beyond impossible for him to remain upset, especially when his wife would happily approach him, clinging onto him and squishing her cheek against his arm. Everyone saw it, how much Dion adored you. To him, you were this beautiful possession made for him, and him alone. Dion was mostly emotionless and indifferent. While his face doesn’t often display emotions, the rare sparkle of light in his eyes whenever he was around you was hard to miss. Gently caress his cheek, brush back his hair when he falls asleep in his chair, embrace him when he returns from a mission, do it all to him, he is a sucker for it, for you. People admit it’s sweet, even the enemies he made. But, as soon as the light dims in his eyes when he turns to glare at them, they are falling over as they try to run away…

©chaedomi. please do not modify, edit, copy or reproduce any of the works published.

[icarusredwings]

Thinking about Logan fighting with Wades Hullicinations and while it doesn't do shit, Wade finds it extremely romantic.

(Warning!! Mentions mental health issues such as ending your self and harmful intrusive thoughts.)

He just wakes up in the middle of the night to argueing and obviously, he gets all upset and ready to slash some face only to find that Wade's arguing with himself again.

You just see his shoulders, arms, and hair on the back of his neck go down as he rolls his eyes, rubbing his face because he's eepy.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"T-trying to win an argument agaisnt this limp dicked fucker." And he just crosses his arms and glares at an empty seat, and some tears staining his cheeks. It's obvious it's been a while.

"Oh my god- Wade, It's 3 in the morning! There's noth-" But he sees him tilt his head and glance at the chair multiple times, more tears forming.

Logan sighs heavily and is like, "Fine. Where is he? What the fuck is so important that hes saying it at 3 in the morning?"

At first, he doesn't answer, and he just stares at the chair as more tears form.

It hits Logan now that this isn't like one of the jokey times about the films he makes in his head rather a more damaging kind. He comes over and pulls his chin up and is like, "Hey! Litsen to me, What is that garbage of a person telling you? Hm?"

He pats his cheek, and Wade cries more, trying to nuzzle into his hand, mumbling all the intrusive thoughts that his brain is subconsciously telling himself through visual and auditory falsehood. That no one loves him, how he doesn't deserve to be alive because of all the bad things he's done, how even Mary Puppins thinks the world would be better without him, etc etc. A load of bullshit bassically.

"What!? No! Why would it tell you that?"

Wade just shrugs and looks at his lap, thinking Logans is going to yell at him for believing it and be disappointed in him, but instead Logan just gets up and goes ape shit on this poor chair, kicking it across the room, stabbing it, hitting it, etc.

All while Wade is watching in awe, not because Logan is getting the shadow man but it's the point that he would go so far and make a fool out of himself just to bring him peace of mind.

During the fight, he glances to the hullicination and is like "Oh you're so fucked when he finds you." And in Wades head it turns to him with a look of worry.

Then logan stands up, panting and is like "Did I get him!?"

Wade can't help but to sniffle, wipe his tears and giggle because yeah, watching your boyfriend beat the fuck out of a random chair for you was hilarious. Al wouldn't be happy in the morning to find it in peices, but he was extremely happy. "Ppfft- you gottem Tiger!"

Logan nods, looks at the mess he's made, shrugs it off, and goes back to the bedroom with a yawn. "Good... If they weren't such a bitch ass coward they'd show their face now wouldn't they? But they're too scared. And do we litsen to pussies?"

"I-"

"Do not say yes."

"No(?)"

"Atta boy. Now come on. Im fucking tired."

Wade turns to the not so scary, anymore figment of his imagination and is like, "This isn't over asshole. He'll kill you ❤️" Then runs off to bed like, "Can I get big spoon!? "

From there on, Wade will tattle on the thoughts, sometimes swinging at them himself, calling for Logan to beat them up. So far, Logan has broken multiple chairs, a coat rack, and has put about 27 holes in the wall just so Wade can get a good nights sleep. He never actually gets them, but its the distraction and thought that counted.

"Logan.. they're back.." "Show me where."

When your boyfriend is delulu, Violence is the Solulu.

[doe-eyed-fool]

First of, I love ur writing second I'd like to ask for a lucifer morningstar x reader request where lucifer is sick and the reader cares for him but somehow ends up getting sick too so they just both are sick now?

Can be fem reader or gender neutral I don't mind either way. It would be very nice if you would do that if u have time for it and of course if u feel like u want to write it. If u don't want to that is fine too, either way I'm gonna wait for any new story u write.

Hope u have a great day

Sick Day

Lucifer x gn!Reader

Warning(s): None

Thx I hope you have a great day too! Enjoy~

"I tried to warn you."

Lucifer lays in bed, groaning as he hugs one pillow close to him. He had recently kicked the covers off himself after getting too hot, but now, he felt a terrible chill run through him.

The king was unfortunately sick, and he felt like garbage.

"I told you that overworking and not taking proper care of yourself would lead to this." You sigh as you sit in the empty spot next to him. "Ready for the next dose?"

Lucifer would have made a break for it after hearing that question. However his body betrayed him, feeling as if someone had tied boulders to his arms and legs.

He groaned again and hid his face in the pillow. "I'd rather suffer." You roll your eyes at his childish behavior. But you couldn't blame him. The medicine tasted god awful, and it was thick too, making it harder to down in one shot.

"Well, I don't want you to suffer." You say, placing a hand to his head. "You'll feel so much better if you take it, Luci." Lucifer looked up at you with a pitiful gaze. "I promise." You add.

Lucifer sighed. "I can't believe I got this sick. I also can't believe how much it's wearing me down. My body hasn't ached this much since I fell from Heaven." He sits up, wincing as he does so.

"Yeah, getting sick is a bitch." You chuckle. "It's a good thing you have special doctors just for you. I don't think I'd trust just anyone here giving you any type of medicine. Now, please." You hold the small cup of dark purple liquid to him.

Lucifer inhales deeply. "Ok." He takes it and actually manages to get it all down in one go. He holds back the urge to gag, a shiver runs up his spine. "How can something so disgusting help you feel better?"

You shrug. "I don't know, but it does." You place your hand on his. "And it will. Trust me."

Lucifer cracks a small smile. "I do trust you. But, you really should get going don't you think? I don't want you to get sick because of me."

"Luci. I'm not leaving, until I know you're better." You say with a smile. "I don't care if I get sick."

Lucifer blushes a bit. "Y-You should!" You chuckle before handing Lucifer a glass of water. "Shh, just relax. I got you."

Lucifer takes a sip, grateful that the awful taste was fading from his tongue. "You're too good to me." He mutters, blush still present on his face. You smile before taking a cold rag and wiping the sweat from his forehead. "Only the best for you." You say softly.

...

"I tried to warn you."

You frown at Lucifer's words before a string of coughs left you. "Shut it." You say with a scratchy voice. Lucifer hands you that terrible medicine.

"Don't worry, love. Just relax, I got you." Lucifer tells you. You couldn't help but smile. "Thank you Luci. And sorry, I should have listened."

Lucifer shrugs. "Eh, it's not so bad. Now we get to spend all day in bed, watching terrible sitcoms. What could be better than that?" He snuggles up next to you.

You lean into him and sigh softly. "Maybe if we weren't sick." You joked. Lucifer rolls his eyes. "I guess so. But then we would have to make up an excuse to be lazy in bed."

"Any excuse to spend more time with you is a good excuse." You grin.

Lucifer's face heated up, he cleared his throat and tried to change the subject. "Man this show is awful isn't it? How do people watch this?"

"You're blushing." You say teasingly. "I-I am not! My face is just hot!" Lucifer huffs.

You laugh lightly. "Whatever you say, Luci."

[bitchface24-7]

Imagine this… Dean visits Sam at Stanford behind Johns back

(fuck you john 👊😒)

When Sam got kicked out with a busted lip, a pre-packed duffle bag, and tears in his eyes, he didn’t expect Dean to follow him. He didn’t expect Dean to offer to drive him to the nearest bus-stop to get to Stanford in one piece. He didn’t expect the overwhelming hug Dean gave him before he left (No chick-flick moments, Sammy! He remembers Dean saying all the time. Dean’s a bit of a hypocrite)

He doesn’t expect to see tears watering his big brothers vision before he leaves. He doesn’t expect Dean to still be at the bus-stop as the bus rolls away; leaning against baby and waving demurely. Sam didn’t expect most things that night. But above all else;

Sam didn’t expect to find a slip of paper sneakily shoved into his hoodie pocket, it’s a phone number he doesn’t recognize.

It’s for a burner phone Dad has no idea existed.

——————

Life at Stanford is everything Sam ever dreamed of! It’s relaxing, calming, interesting… boring.

Don’t get Sam wrong, he loves it here! He loves the atmosphere, how everyone here wants to be here. He loves the library, his classes (he doesn’t get some of his pre-requisites though. Why is he taking an art course as a pre-law student? Whatever…) and the friends he’s made here.

Brady his roommate is a bit of a slob, prefers parties over studying, and is a bit of a mischief maker. But he makes it up to Sam, he’s a surprisingly good cook. Jess became his best friend on the second day of classes. She’s the best. She’s funny, witty, outgoing, and really pretty. She’s got green eyes, freckles, and this beautiful smile (no she doesn’t look like anyone Sam knows. Shut up.)

There’s a few others but Sam isn’t as close with them. All in all, it’s been pretty good here. But, he’s still bored. He never thought he’d say this, but he misses the adrenaline of the hunts. He misses researching into unknown lore and going undercover (relatively unsuccessfully) with his brother. He misses the bickering, the inside-jokes, the snarkiness, and garbage eating habits. He misses Dean.

He’s been calling Dean quite a bit on the hidden burner number he gave him all those months ago. It’s a good substitute; but not enough. He misses Dean’s smile, his laugh, his presence, his smell. It’s especially gotten bad knowing Dad fucked off to do his own hunts, leaving Dean to fend for himself. Sam doesn’t like knowing that Dean is hunting solo, he’s not there to help if something happens.

So imagine Sam’s surprise when there’s a knock on his dorm room door. Not just any knock; it’s a secret one. One made up in the dead of night almost a decade ago now so Sam knows it’s safe. He knows who’s knocking.

It’s Dean.

Sam bolts up off his twin bed and rushes to the door. It’s a good thing Brady isn’t here; Sam’s not in the mood to explain himself. Sam whips the door open and feels the air escape his lungs in a swift blow. It’s Dean. He’s here. It’s Dean.

Dean. Dean. Dean. Dean. De—

Before his brother even has a chance to greet him, Sam throws himself into Deans arms, hunching himself so he’s smaller than usual, and shoving his face into Deans neck; rejuvenating himself on his brothers scent. It’s a mixture of leather, oil, old spice deodorant, and something distinctly Dean that has Sam sighing in content.

Dean just chuckles, which sends a shiver down Sam’s spine, “Miss me that much?” Sam can hear the smirk in Dean’s tone. Sam rolls his eyes, “Jerk.”

Instantaneously Dean replies with a small, “Bitch.” Sam drags Dean into the inside of his dorm room, thank god it’s relatively clean. Sam might’ve just offed himself if it was a pigsty when Dean came to surprise visit him.

“What’re you doing here?” Sam asks, awe and reverence clear in his tone. Dean must’ve not heard that since he grimaced a bit, anxiously fidgeting with the amulet Sam gave him all those Christmas’ ago, “What? I can’t see my baby brother?”

Sam rolls his eyes and shoots Dean bitch face number 46, “Y’know what I mean Dean. Is there a hunt of some kind or…” the implication sits heavily in the air. Did you come just to see me?

Deans jaw clenches before responding, “I just wanted to see you. Catch up a bit.” Sam can’t help but beam a broad grin towards his older brother, he can feel his dimples popping. Dean’s cheeks flushed the tiniest bit as he runs a hand through his hair.

“Well…” Sam starts, his voice cracking a bit in his flustered state. Dean quirks an eyebrow, a smug smirk growing on his pretty pink lips. Before he can tease Sam, Sam quickly continues his sentence, “I can show you around the campus. If you’d like…”

Deans smirk turns into a smile at the suggestion, “Wanna show me off to all your college buddies? Damn Sammy, didn’t know you were the possessive type.” Sam clenches his jaw and can almost physically feel his eyes darken at the suggestion, “Well… we are cut from the same cloth Dean.”

Dean just stares a bit at Sam before briefly licking his lips and looking away, “Alright! Take me on a tour Sasquatch.” Sam rolls his eyes and drags Dean out of his room. He’s gonna take him on the best goddamn tour this school has ever seen!

——————

Deans missed Sam. He’s missed all his snooty looks and snarky one liners. He’s missed his smile and his laugh. He’s missed his whiny tone whenever Dean embarrasses him (forever his little brother) so seeing Sam now is like whiplash of the severest degree.

Sam grew up. Sam got hot.

Dean knows he shouldn’t be thinking about his 18 year old brother that way. It’s wrong. It’s filthy. Sam probably knows about Deans fucked up thoughts and that’s why he left. But… Sam was ecstatic to see Dean. Running up and hugging him like he was 8 years old again.

Sam may act like a kid; but he sure as shit doesn’t look like one. He’s tall, taller than Dean now. He’s filled out. No longer tall like a pole and as thin as one too; no Sammy’s packed on quite a bit of muscle. His face has lost any baby-fat that was once on it. All high cheekbones, a sharp jawline, pretty nose, plump pink lips, and fox-like eyes. Dean feels like a creep checking out his brother but… fuck Sammy’s gorgeous.

He’s the best goddamn view in this whole campus.

Dean is barely paying attention to what Sam is saying, he feels a bit bad. It’s almost like he’s in Charlie Brown. He doesn’t hear any of the words Sam is saying, he’s just appreciating Sam and his prettiness.

It’s isn’t until Sam mentions the cafeteria does he get Deans full attention.

“Cafeteria?” Dean questions, a small sparkle in his eye. He drove about 3 hours to get here, he’s fucking starving. Sammy laughs boisterously, swinging an arm around to land on Deans shoulders as he tucks him close to his side. It’s shouldn’t get Dean hot under the collar. It does.

“Yup. All the goodies, like a smaller version of the food courts you see at the mall. There’s some food options, multiple coffee options, It’s pretty sweet. It’s all sponsored by the university. And since I got in on a full-ride scholarship; it’s essentially all free. For me at least.”

Dean feels like he’s drooling. Thank god for Sammy and his massive brain! Before Dean can even question where this glorious cafeteria is, Sam’s dragging him. Deans been allowing Sam to do that a lot recently, huh?

They eventually get to the cafeteria and get all their food. Dean obviously gets a burger loaded with all the good stuff, fries, and a massive fountain drink. Sam gets a salad, a coffee, and reluctantly adds a small thing of fries and grilled chicken to his order; Dean’s nagging of “real food” finally won.

Sam just gives the cashier at the kiosk his student ID badge, she scans it, and they’re free to sit in the cafeteria. Dean almost feels famous.

Dean was expecting to pig out with his brother. He wasn’t expecting to pig out with Sam’s friends.

——————

Sam almost chokes on a mouthful of salad when he sees Brady and Jess casually walking over to where Sam and Dean are sitting to eat with them. Before he can say anything, Jess breaks the silence for them.

“Hey, I’m Jess! This is Brady. Who’re you?” She sweetly asks Dean. Dean just raises he eyebrows and swallows a bite of his burger. “I’m Dean. I came to visit Sammy.”

“Sammy?” Brady questions, a small laugh in his tone, “Sam nearly ripped my face off when I called him that once.” Jess nudges Brady in the ribs and he bends over slightly in pain.

Dean purses his lips and smugly looks over to Sam who’s flushed as red as a strawberry. He’s picking at his salad now and mutters, “Only Dean can call me that.” Jess giggles and ushers Brady to sit down, they sit a bit away from the two pretty men to ensure there’s enough room on the table for all their stuff.

“So Dean,” Jess starts before taking a sip of her iced coffee, “How long have you known Sam?”

Dean just quirks an eyebrow at her. Did Sam not tell them about him? Fine. If he’s embarrassed by Dean, Dean’s gonna embarrass Sam right back! Dean looks over to Sam who looks like he wants to be anywhere else but here.

“His whole life. I’ve known him since he was a baby and I was four. I’ve been by his side for every milestone.”

Jess beams a grin at the two of them and lightly claps her hands together, “That’s so sweet! You got any baby pics of Sam?” Dean smirks at her mischievous grin as Sam groans and slides down his seat, hands covering his face. Brady just laughs and continues to eat.

“Sorry sweetheart, they’re in my other jacket.” Dean jokes as he eats a fry. Jess over-dramatically sighs, “Damn it. Maybe next time?” She jokes. Dean just smiles and nods his head once. Dean likes Jess.

Sam shoots both of them bitch face number 5 before continuing to eat. Every once in a while Jess and Brady shoot each other a look; as if silently communicating. Dean doesn’t really care that much, he’s with Sam. That’s all that matters.

——————

Jess has never, in the year her and Sam have been at Stanford, seen this look on Sam’s face before. He’s all doe-eyed and blushy towards the handsome man that introduced himself as Dean. She’s never seen such a star-struck expression on her friend before. It’s nauseatingly cute.

Sam’s got phenomenal taste.

Jess just continues to watch the two of them as she wonders to herself, “How long have these two been dating?”

Judging by the shared looks, inside jokes, dopey expressions, and an unmeasurable amount of love thrown by the two of them. Jess wouldn’t be surprised if they’re childhood sweethearts.

It’s only when Dean loudly laughs at a joke Sam said do the pieces click together.

“Hold on. You’re phone guy!” Jess exclaims excitedly. Dean just looks over to Jess, Brady stops eating, and Sam looks like he wants to kill himself.

“Phone guy?” Dean gruffly questions, looking over to Sam for some clarification but just gets met with a horrified face.

Jess continues on, ignoring Sam’s pleading look, “You’re the guy Sam spends hours talking on the phone with. You’ve got a personalized ringtone and everything so he never misses one of your calls. It’s kinda cute actually.”

Dean just smiles and says, “Is that so?” Sam really looks like he wants to throw himself off a cliff.

Before anymore teasing can occur, Sam picks up both his and Deans garbage, tossing it out as quickly as he can before dragging Dean away from his two friends with a burning face.

All he can hear is Jess’ and Brady’s laughter as he scampers away with his brother. “It was nice meeting you Dean!” Jess yells, a broad grin on her pretty face as she waves the two men goodbye. “You too Jess!” Dean yells back just as loudly.

Sam is going to kill himself.

——————

Brady looks at Jess and says one sentence, “They’re totally fucking.”

Without missing a beat, Jess replies “ Oh a million percent. I recommend you don’t go back to your dorm for the next few hours.”

Brady sighs and continues to eat, “Definitely.”

——————

Back at Sam’s dorm is a cacophony of laughter from Dean and pleading from Sam.

“Dean please shut up. It’s not that funny!” Sam whines. Dean just laughs even harder, “Phone guy? Are you kidding me?! This is the best day ever!”

Sam eventually gets fed up at the laughter and tackles his brother to his twin sized bed. Wrestling him to get him to shut up. Although Dean is shorter than Sam now, he’s still stronger; eventually pinning Sam down beneath him.

The two just pant heavily as the tension grows thicker and thicker as the seconds pass on. Eventually, Dean breaks the silence.

“Why haven’t you mentioned me to any of your friends?” Sam gulps at the dark look Dean throws his way. What does he even say in response to that?

Because they’ll know how much of a freak I am?

I love you too much for it to just be considered brotherly.

I’m scared.

Sam just gapes like a fish for a few seconds before demurely looking off to the side, his eyes filled with tears, “You’ll think I’m a freak.”

At that proclamation, Dean rears back a bit and immediately tries to get that solemn expression off his baby brothers face, “No I wouldn’t.” At Sam’s shake of his head, Dean firmly repeats his statement, “I wouldn’t.”

Sam bites his lip, debating if he should tell the truth. Dean always knows when Sam lies so… what’s the point? Time to ruin the best thing Sam’s ever had in his life.

“I love you.” Sam quietly stated. The room is so quiet you can hear a pin drop.

“I love you too?” Dean says. Of course he loves him. It’s Sammy.

Sam rolls his eyes at his brothers obliviousness and shoots him a look, “No Dean. I love you.”

Deans eyebrows furrow before his eyes widen and his mouth drops open a bit. He can’t mean. No. No way. No way does his Sammy love him the same way Dean does. Sammy is pure. He’s perfect. He isn’t fucked up like Dean is.

As Dean sits in Sam’s lap in astonishment, Sam feels his eyes water. This was a mistake, he shouldn’t have said anything. As Sam moves to push Dean off, he gets the surprise of a lifetime.

Dean kisses him.

Full on gives Sam one of the most passionate kisses he’s ever experienced.

When the two eventually pull away from one another, they connect foreheads and pant together. Sam looks desperately at Dean. Don’t get my hopes up. Not here. Not now.

Dean eventually fulfills every wish and dream Sam’s had since he was 14 years old. He says the damming words back.

“I love you too.” Before kissing Sam again.

Sam didn’t expect much of anything when his Dad kicked him out and he went to Stanford. He especially didn’t expect this.

But Sam couldn’t be happier.

[rockrosethistle]

A list of Nightmare Time episode ideas that I thought of and I think would be cool:

1.) Mr. Chasity has been trying to sell the old Waylon Place for far too long. After trying and failing over and over, he decides to take matters into his own hands by going in himself to see what all the fuss is about. But nothing could have prepared him to meet the real ghosts of Waylon Hall. And boy oh boy do they have shenanigans in store. (The episode would be called 'Unholy Ghost') .

2.) It's been a few months since Hatchetfield was destroyed in that awful 'accident'. Emma and Paul have been living under the aliases Kelly and Ben Bridges. (there can be a joke where Emma doesn't even pretend to care about her alias and Paul cares too much.) They live in Colorado now. Emma's finally started her pot farm, and Paul is working in marketing. For the most part, they have a good life. Only Paul's acting a bit different lately. Emma caught him humming company jingles, tapping his foot to a beat she can't hear. Maybe those spores he inhaled had some effect on him. It's probably nothing, but he's never sung in the shower before...(I don't have a name for this one yet.) .

3.) Max Jägerman is failing remedial algebra. In fact, he's doing so poorly that his dad shells out and hires him a tutor, PJ. (Bryce's nerd from 'Literal Monster.) He reluctantly lets her help him. At first it seems to work and his grades are rising steadily, but as PJ lets her guard down, Max starts to notice some things. Strange symbols scribbled in the margins of her notebook, almost like...jagged smiles? Weird stains on her hands, when she gets too close she smells like roadkill. And there's this white spider that keeps showing up in his room. Sometimes he feels like it's trying to tell him something. Or warn him. Without knowing what he's gotten himself into, Max has to evade getting his soul swallowed by a hungry god of darkness. (The episode is called 'Dirty Dude Soup') .

4.) Charlotte Sweetly is jealous. Her church friend, Carol Davidson, has exactly the kind of life she wants. Charlotte's seen the way her boss talks about his wife, and would give anything for Sam to feel that way about her. One day, Charlotte finally gathers her courage and asks her how she does it. Carol takes pity on her, and decides to reveal an important secret: it's all the product of a ritual, an ancient spell she stumbled upon on a trip to an amusement park. She claims that ever since she did it, her husband can't get enough of her. "I am all he sees. He calls me the apple of his eye." Charlotte doesn't believe her at first, but Carol gave her the instructions, and why the hell not? She tries it. Unfortunately, Charlotte messes up the wording. The spell still works, but not quite as intended. And an all-seeing police officer could be a good thing, but Sam is not a good police officer. (maybe let's call this one 'Omnipocop'. But that's awful to spell so suggestions are welcome) .

5.) While trying to be an assistant, Steph accidentally botches one of Pete's science projects. He forgives her, but she still feels bad even as he assures her it's no big deal, throwing the mix of chemicals out his window just to prove it. What he doesn't know is that the last family that lived in the Spankoffski house buried their dog in the backyard, and Pete's chemical slurry just brought it back to life. On a probably unrelated note, Paul has been trying to ignore the damage he's finding in his apartment. He's been chalking most of the tipped over garbage cans and torn apart cushion up to rats--giant rats?--or maybe a squirrel. But when a decades-old "missing dog" poster shows up on his doorstep, he can't ignore the truth for any longer. (the episode would be called "Patches' Revenge" and I thing it would work because it's just the right amount of weird. It would end with Paul teaming up with the nerds to defeat undead Patches with science.) .

6.) To his utter delight, Miss Holloway finally agreed to go out with Duke on a proper date. Nothing huge, just some ice cream and a walk on the beach. They're both enjoying themselves when Miss Holloway hears something. Duke can't hear it, but he still follows her down the shore to some kind of cave grotto, where she claims the noise is coming from. She tosses a pebble into the water, testing how it might react. A few moments later, the pebble come flying out again. Duke is stunned, but Miss Holloway tosses her ice cream cone. Sure enough, a few moments later is comes flying back, perfectly dry. They've clearly discovered something, and over the next few days, Duke and Miss Holloway experiment and try to learn about the grotto and the water in it. It's too deep to see the bottom, so their tests mostly involve tossing different things to see how they'll react. Little do they know, there was a reason Miss Holloway could hear a noise coming from the cave. There's a reason it drew her in, too. There's something singing to her, something that lives at the bottom of the grotto. And with each thing they feed it, it becomes a little bit stronger...(and then it's called something unassuming like "Wavecrest Cave")

So that's Nightmare Time season four all lined up. Please tell me if you have a good name idea for episodes 2 and 4. Also if anyone wants to use these as writing prompts, be my guest (just tag me so I can read them)

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Okay, consider, König is having a really bad day. Shit totally hit the fan at work, he got more scrapes and bruises than he’d like to admit (the biggest being his ego for doing garbage out on the field, naturally,) he lost a good knife, and he got stuck in a post mission brief that took 5 hours. Just, god, that sucks doesn’t it? He makes his way home and as much as he doesn’t want to be a douchebag to his sweet girly, and usually he’d really wanna see you, but at the moment he’s beyond himself with anxiety and just general negativity from such an awful day he doesn’t want to bother you (even though that’s his most usual “relaxing” technique…) He’s walking up to the apartment/house and he hears the washing machine on, nothing unusual. He’s ready to seclude himself in a bathroom and lock the door and just clean all of his guns and knives to calm down but-

You’re there in the living room, casually hanging out on the couch, nothing special, except…

You’re wearing his shirt. And thigh high fuzzy socks.

And that’s all.

“What are you wearing?”

“Oh! You’re home!! Sorry, I spilled some coffee on my clothes, and it was laundry day so-“

You’re cut off as he slings you onto his shoulder like a sack of flour.

Number one way to cheer this guy up. His day just turned fucking fantastic.

Please 😫 he lost one of his good knives...?? I bet all the other stuff was just the icing on the cake!

Can you even imagine how upset he must be? This man treasures his knives more than anything. Everyone else treats them like they're accessories, but to König, the guns are the accessories. He never goes anywhere without a knife on his belt.

And this guy wants to come home as a celebrated hero, he wants to greet his woman with victory in his eyes. No man wants to wade to their girl fatigued and pissed off after a series of petty fuck ups and boring debriefs and say they even lost a good knife (& say it with a voice that's on the verge of breaking)

König has suffered so many blows that of course he wants to seclude himself somewhere and just sulk it out. He kinda sorta would love it if his girl came to him and hugged him tight... dangled from his neck and told him what a big boy he is and how happy she is that he's finally home… But he's afraid it's going to take more than that to get him out of the slump.

To his horror, not even the prospect of a dinner and a blowjob is making him feel better, so the situation is more than just dire.

But…

Is there anything better in this world than coming home to his girl and noticing she's wearing thigh high fuzzy socks?

(And just for the record: König is a firm supporter of t-shirt no undies, yes sir, but those socks?? They will destroy him, especially if they're pastel color or white.)

He forgets all the bullshit he's suffered in an instant when he sees her jump from the sofa, peeping her apologies and trying to cover her bare thighs with one of his black tees. As if he could ever be mad at her for wearing his shirt.

By the time they make it to the bedroom, König has forgotten he even owned a black little switchblade that had a handy opening mechanism.

How can he think about knives when the cutest girl in the world giggles as he goes under the shirt (ach, his shirt), when the light of his life squirms and squeals as he gives her smooches and little nibs all over? She's ticklish, and König is going to pry every delightful little noise out of her before going further down.

And those thigh high socks?

They stay on during sex.

[nekropsii]

Ok, don't get me wrong, i think your opinions/analysis have arguments, so you have reasons.

But i can't stop thinking, when you talk about fandom not interpreting things correctly, mostly dancestors, it feels like:

Fanon: i love the dancestors! They are all so nice!

You: aCTUALLY, they are all ASSHOLES, except mituna, latula, and porrim. The rest is crap and here is a long and detailed list with why:

And a the end of the list :but this is what makes them great as characters, because they have a narrative function to it!

Yep. And I stand by that. Firmly. What’s the problem here?

The Alpha Trolls - not the Dancestors, that’s literally every character in Homestuck - are largely not good people. Calling them nice is blatantly false and outright disregards almost every single scrap of text we are given. Mituna’s a good dude in a bad situation full of people he doesn’t really like, as is Damara. Latula’s literally never done anything wrong. Porrim’s just a regular person. Aranea’s pretty nice, and her actions during Game Over were a result of eternities of torment and desperation to be seen + heard, and is therefore not fully representative of her. Meenah’s cute, but a major fuckup that has committed some absolutely egregious crimes. That’s it, really.

The Alpha Trolls are Good Characters and (mostly) Bad People.

Are you maybe experiencing some kind of difficulty in understanding that there’s a difference between a character and a person? Because a fuck ton of people in fandom definitely do have that problem, for some reason.

A character is a plot device. It is a tool. Nothing more, nothing less. A person is a person. The difference between a bad person and a bad character is that a bad character isn’t fulfilling the role and function they are supposed to perform, and a bad person is just a shitty guy I do not want to be around. Conflating the two leads to bad analysis, and is also a primary contributor to apologetics, and all those god awful fanonizations that sand down every edge the character has until they’re pleasant people and totally unrecognizable. People think they have to like a character as a human being in order to like them as a character. Which is completely untrue, and is totally naïve to the fact that villains are popular for a reason.

A character can be a bad person and a good character - they fill their role and serve their purpose very well, but would absolutely suck to be around. Meenah, Vriska, Cronus, and Caliborn all fit under that label. This isn’t always a villain role, but it does tend to get taken up by villains. And anti-heroes, of course. Vriska is there, after all

A character can be a good person but a bad character - they’d be pleasant to talk to in real life, but they suck at fulfilling their narrative purpose. Just about every fanon version of a character is this. It’s more of a fanfiction thing than an actual real literature thing.

I am the biggest fan + defender of the Alpha Trolls you can find. The Alpha Trolls largely are not good people, but they serve their function very well. This is not a controversial statement because it is entirely true. Fanon is dogshit and totally wrong, 100% of the time. This is a hill I’m willing to die on because I’m literally just correct. There is not a scrap of text on this planet that you could procure to say Cronus Ampora is a good person - anything you could scrounge up is just baseless fanfiction and total garbage.

I do not see the confusion, nor do I understand the point you’re trying to make. These are facts that can and do coexist, quite regularly. Even within Homestuck. Again, Vriska exists. What now?