#it's just very hard to find objective sources
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katenotbishop · 1 year ago
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Thoughts on the Israeli government?
that's a whole can of worms that i don't have the energy to get into, especially in english. to me the current people in the knesset are ruining this country. the majority of the citizens don't want them in these positions of power, and we have major protests every saturday night, but they just... ignore it, and continue to do whatever they please, disregarding the fact that every thing that they do is hurting everyone here, even those who voted for them.
basically things are bad. and that's not even getting into queer and ethnic minorities who suffer even more from the situation.
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coquelicoq · 1 year ago
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actually natori has some kind of tracking talisman on matoba at all times. that's how he knew where to abduct matoba from for Operation: Kitty Cat City. matoba fully knows about it; it's why he wasn't at all surprised to find a paper doll in natsume's hair after the mask youkai debacle (matoba internally as he watched it fly away: classic mother hen shuuichi-san momence 🥰). because this is matoba "boundaries? what are those? can you eat them?" seiji we're talking about, he's not bothered by this "violation" of his "privacy"; rather, he finds it fittingly clingy (it is, after all, only right that natori should be keeping tabs on him obsessively). sometimes the talisman gets confused and sticks to yesterday's outfit, so he always checks to make sure he has it on the way out the door (his pocket patdown is "keys, lighter, wallet, exorcism supplies, shuuichi-san's cute lil tracker he thinks i don't know about <3"). i wouldn't be surprised if he's figured out how to uno reverse it and now uses it to track natori's location as well. this may not technically be canon but it is probably all 100% true in an important way that transcends canon, we just never hear about it because it isn't relevant to natsume's journey 😌
#matoba: a natori talisman. sure wish i had one of those 😇#<-knows that he has one on him at that very moment and also that natori doesn't know that he knows#convince me that he didn't say this on purpose to make natori sweat. you can't!#in response to him saying that natori side-eyes him and has a dot dot dot speech bubble (my favorite vol. 26 ellipsis btw)#which is exactly how he would react if he had secretly planted a talisman on matoba#and was trying to figure out if matoba knew and was alluding to it!!#check and mate. game set match. QED. i rest my case.#i've connected the dots i've connected them but also i feel like it wasn't that hard. the truth is out there you just have to believe#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#horrible exorcists#matoba seiji#f#homura cats arc#my posts#btw i do not think the head of the matoba clan actually does anything so base as to carry keys on his person#he has people for that. he has a driver. he has servants who open the door when they see him coming. what possible need could he have#for such an object#he also may not need to carry a wallet (or equivalent) for similar reasons#but it was the best shorthand i could think of to make what i meant by 'pocket patdown' readily apparent#especially since 'cell phone' isn't an option either since this is set in the 80s#i figure he must have some kind of lighter or firestarter bc he uses smoke to find the source of the locked-room curse#he also seems to carry a brush & ink and various & sundry tools of the trade that i decided to call 'exorcism supplies'#matoba-san drop the 'what's in my purse' youtube video 👀
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dana-chan-the-control-brain · 6 months ago
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TADC: Thoughts on Jax in Episode 2
Thoughts on Jax after Amazing Digital Circus Episode 2 Dropped.
Massive spoilers below the cut. Just watch the ep before you read.
Amazing Digital Circus had an amazing second episode as we're introduced more to what the adventures are like, and what NPCs are like and ofc the existential horror of being a living AI only created for a source of entertainment.
Also, I love the dream sequence at the beginning, because we actually get some deeper insight into Pomni's thoughts on Ragatha. Feeling like her helpfulness is the guise of like "man, you're not cut out for this like the rest of us" which is typically something a lot of people who have been bullied in highschool perceive genuine acts of kindness and engagement. (which I kind of suspect Pomni might have been, or at least, been a shut-in and didn't have a lot of friends in her human life. )
Jax wasn't really the main focus of the episode, but it wasn't really until the end of the episode I understood his behavior and what this episode is foreshadowing overall.
Since while Jax isn't the focus emotionally, he is definitely the plot device to push things forward. And I mean, a plot device in a very active and quite literal way. He's the one that causes Pomni to clip out of the map, takes advantage of everyone and is just... genuinely an unpleasant person.
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I actually really like this.
As, I know the first episode in the digital circus, many people (me included) could perceive or analyze Jax's actions as someone who is "helping" in a roundabout asshole way. Episode Two has none of that here. He just wants Bloodshed, And I love that we're getting additional context on his character.
It's hard to tell how much fan reception Gooseworx saw of episode one before episode two hit production, so I don't know how much of the fandom perception of Jax had an influence on the writing process, but I can't deny that might have been a factor in assuring us "no he's not secretly helpful, he's just an asshole" But I'm just going to assume that this has been part of his characterization from the start and it becomes way more clear as the episode goes on.
But there was something in his behavior throughout this whole episode that seemed off to me. Like Jax was taking up a majority of the B-plot, while Pomni had the A-plot. So I was wondering why Jax seemed to be the protagonist with the B-plot when Pomni was the A-plot when they seemed to be so disconnected with eachother in motivations and telling us things about the characters.
But then it hit me when the episode ended and the two plots merged together.
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"who... knows... what could happen..."
And then it hit me.
Pomni finds comfort in an NPC who is going through a similar experience to her and can emphasize, despite their being other humans who have gone through the same thing, due to her self-admitting to being a loner in her human life. Well, she didn't admit it outright, but from how she perceives Ragatha's kindness as an act, or patronizing, it seems like she doesn't have a lot of friends...
Meanwhile... Jax... He treats the adventure like a videogame. Why shouldn't he? He's trapped in a videogame, right? But it really goes beyond that.
The fellow humans that Jax is trapped with, he treats THEM like they're NPCs, while Pomni treats the NPC like they're human.
Jax says to Gangle "Aren't you supposed to be the suggestible one?" Which you wouldn't typically wouldn't say to a person, right? That's something you would say more about a character that you maxed out the dialogue trees in.
He calls Pomni "His Bridge" even.
They're his objects. His tools, his own npcs he's exhausted the dialogue options on.
Jax dehumanizes the players in a way that Pomni humanizes the NPCS.
These are two opposite ends of the spectrum but what really sold it for me was Jax's reaction to the funeral.
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And Jax is the one member out of the cast who doesn't even show up to the funeral. (aside from Caine and Bubble but they are AI.)
He does NOT want to think about the Players as real people. And showing that opposite perspective compared to Pomni I think is much as important going forward.
Jax was the plot catalyst of this entire episode, and served the thematic theme of the episode quite well, even if it didn't look like it on first glance.
I absolutely loved this episode and I can't wait for more.
Also... Poor Pomni can't have shit in Detroit
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sl4sh3rsub · 9 months ago
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patrick bateman hcs (nsfw: mdni)
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patrick bateman x reader (AFAB, AMAB, FtM, MtF)
warnings: overall pretty toxic, homophobic and misogynistic, there's a lot of infidelity/cheating and drug usage/alcohol too. there is also shaming of sex work - this is purely fictional and i do not condone this behavior in real life. i wrote in these elements because they appear in the original source material, not because i hold these opinions/views. mentions of extreme kink/fetish (knife play, blood play), p in v + anal (all unprotected - pls stay safe irl), oral sex (giving + receiving), handjobs, cockwarming, implied dom/sub dynamics (patrick is a top + sugar daddy/dom/slight sadist + is entitled, reader is more submissive + sweet), lots of cum + precum/arousal, reader sometimes treated as sex object, marking (bruises, bite marks, hickeys etc.), dubious consent? (overstimulation, he can be manipulative, reader flashes someone in afab section), reference to past rough sexual encounters, lots of sexual tension, patrick is sociopathic(?) + gets hard a lot + is possessive/slightly domestic but still rough, canon colleagues (schrödinger's judgement + they're horny), nipple play, voice kink/voicemail sex, threats/mentions of canon (?) violence (not towards reader), exhibitionism + public settings, consensual filming of sexual acts, gun play/fear play, cigar gets extinguished on reader (research risks properly before trying irl, please stay safe), hired sex worker, mentions of surgery in ftm + mtf sections, rip jean + evelyn's emotions
a/n: i'm a massive fan of the broadway musical (bootleg available on youtube) and i've seen the film twice, but i still need to read the book!! i've listened to this youtube audiobook (ai voice patrick reading it - part one) and it kinda goes hard. anyway, peeb ateman is soft with reader in this one, so it could potentially be a little ooc.
order: general hcs first then amab + afab then ftm + mtf, different sections = different content n tried not to repeat much
_ _ _ _ _
general hcs
patrick is already engaged to evelyn when he meets you. he's very well aware that she's seeing timothy price, so he might as well have his own fun - divorce isn't in fashion this year, so being prepared for that potential outcome might turn some heads and patrick hates judgmental attention
if you're already in a relationship with someone, he'll whisk you away immediately. you deserve so much better than some chump who can't afford to spoil you, he'll prove his superiority with his shiny silver card
show him genuine affection and take interest in his music taste!! if you listen to him and take time out of your day to participate in conversation, he'll abruptly stop mid-sentence to process that you're invested in his recap of his day :( you'll have no issues with him from then out - you respect him and he'll respect you. he's quietly thankful for how kind you are to him
if patrick has a yearning to dabble in a certain kink or fetish - such as knife play or extreme blood play - that you're not willing to participate in, he'll just find someone who can satiate his needs temporarily. no harm done, patrick just wants to make sure he's not taking complete advantage of you - he'll pay for you to have a delicious dinner and fancy hotel for the night, don't worry. he still wants to take care of you and reassure you that no one is taking your place, and that you'll still have him in the morning... he just needs to let out his extreme urges throughout the night
his way of showing affection is brushing his nose against you, whether it be your temple, ear or cheek as he whispers sweet nothings to you. he longs for subtle contact and the gentle warmth of your skin. he's also addicted to burying his face in your neck or pressing his lips against your crown when he fucks you from behind or squirming in his lap, the small puffs of hot air tickling your flushed skin and his lidded eyes rolling at your scent
he digs his fingers into your lower tummy while he fucks you, feeling his cock ram deep inside you - he's shamelessly using you as his own fucktoy, massaging his length to get himself off. the extra pressure against his tip has him shuddering at the delicious sensation
yeah sure, patrick might be a weirdo and a loser but he can fuck you like he loves you (maybe he does) and spare cash to dry-clean your cum off his expensive suits... fair trade, no?
he practically becomes your sugar daddy - you're his personal doll to dress, provide for and parade around proudly. he wouldn't trade the satisfied glint in your eyes, or the rhythm of your glistening arousal dripping on his wood paneled floors for anything. after a long day of spoiling you, he becomes a little selfish in the bedroom and chases his high with no regard for how overstimulated you might get :(
he is obsessed with dressing you to match his personal perception of you - that is to say, have you dressed in a manner that would make atheists reconsider and have the faithful herald you as their new deity. he wants to ensure that everyone know why he worships you the way he does. even if you don't feel confident in your skin, he quietly reassures you that your bashfulness only adds to your charm
you're his personal model and his precious doll - plaything, if you will. after you return to his place from perusing the designer shops, he lounges back with a whiskey in hand and patiently watches you show off your latest purchases on his card. he'll ask you to spin or swap shoes to match the outfit every so often, even asking you to bend down towards him just so he can adjust your collar or hairstyle. if he gets taken aback by how stunning you look in a certain outfit, expect him to get carried away and start panic rambling - he'll explain the specifics of the material, cut or brand as his fingers roam your body with devotion and his eyes greedily drink you in. his voice gets progressively huskier throughout the show until he gets to the expensive undergarments hidden in matte bags and tissue paper - he fucks you in front of the mirror, reveling in the way the material hugs your skin and how your skin shifts as your muscles clench with every thrust
after he warmed up to you, patrick slowly realized how emotionally taxing your early encounters were on you and that you were left feeling used and roughed up afterwards. if he still makes you feel that way after he first admits his affection, definitely let him know - he might want to leave physical marks on you that linger for a week or so after, but emotional damage is the last thing he wants marring your relationship
something that resembles quiet devotion lingers in his gaze, the glint of chandeliers flashing as he quickly shakes his head and denies he was ever staring :( sure, you might not be the stereotypical 'hardbody', but you're more worth his time than all of the other whores that his cock stirs for - you're leagues better than the sluts turning tricks and actually deserve a place in his home, his bed, unlike the simple chicks he picks up from clubs. he actually respects you (though, not enough to acknowledge your independence away from him) and his silent approval - pride, even - of your actions sometimes slips through his mask
whenever you're in the room with him, there is an invisible yet tangible tension that tugs you together. the warm, compressing feeling always hones your vision onto patrick - it drowns out all of the noises and movement around you, grounding you in the all-consuming gaze of your lover. his eyes snap to yours whenever you enter the room and he instinctively feels a bulge growing in his slacks, his pupils dilating as his tongue darts out to dampen his lips. no polite conversation or mundane styling drivel is worth his time when you are in his field of view
patrick genuinely feels his blood thunder in his ears whenever the men at the table make snide remarks about your appearance or belittle you. he is absolutely disgusted at their attitudes and lack of understanding - you are his darling and you deserve to be treated as his equal, at a minimum. however, if the table murmurs about how sexy you look, he's more than willing to show you off a bit - he's proud of what's his, obviously! just don't let the boys get too bold with their 'polite' touches or they won't have fingers in the morning :<
he'll buy you a ring. not to propose, oh god no - he doesn't want to do the whole evelyn debacle again. patrick wants to simply state his territory and claim so that others would be less inclined to approach you (plus, it helps that he doesn't have to vividly daydream about it anymore - it saves brain power)
if he rushes home with dirty, damp gloves and a missing button on his overcoat, he'll forever be indebted to you if you pour him a stiff drink and prepare to call jean to postpone all events the next day
your head gets all fuzzy when his tongue drags along the line of your collarbone and his soft lips ghost down your chest - circling your nipple and threatening you with the edge of his teeth makes the edge of his mouth twist into a smirk. if you meet his gaze, his lidded eyes give away how content he is in this position, with you on top of his lap. his lips sheened with spit and your buttoned shirt yanked open make for an arousing sight
patrick is a big fan of smoking his cigars while you sloppily take his cock down your throat - he gets some sadistic pleasure from putting them out on your spit-soaked thighs, the drool hissing under the scorching heat. it's coincidentally also one of his favourite things to reminisce, running his fingers over your thighs while replaying those memories during boring social events. the scent of his expensive smoke, wafting around him in a saloon, has him drifting back to the sight of his hefty cock resting on your face - the length throbbing with every heartbeat, pearls of salty precum seeping into your soft skin and trailing in thin rivulets down the contours of cheekbone
he is a fan of sneaking a dab of his yves saint lauren perfume onto all of your formal wear, a little mark of him and something to keep you company whenever you're out at functions he's not attending
he drags you out to clubs just to dress you up and show you off under the bright, colourful flashing lights. you have his eye the entire time you're feeling yourself on the dance floor, tempting him your sensual movements from across the room - don't expect him to act on it immediately though, he's more than content to hold your gaze and sip his glass from the bar. if some sleaze dares to get handsy with you, he'll step in and guide you towards the bathroom as his fingers glide down to your lower back - he needs a bump to loosen up and not hurt every single chump eyeing you up. you're his plaything, after all.
if you spend a night at patrick's place, he'll secretly love taking showers with you - only because you help him rub in his cleansers and soaps into his skin, no other reason. certainly not that your devoted, admiring gaze make him flush and whisper his timid thanks under the steady stream of water, the noise lost in the pounding around your ears. ignore his building arousal, it'll stay there and grow even harder when he pleasures you with his tongue on the counter of his stainless-steel kitchen. you're the only one he'll kneel for, and you bet that there's a steamed-up outline of your ass on the countertop when he's done :3
despite his incessant need to fit in, he's never going to blend in while you remain by his side. you bring out that rare smile of his and that soft chuckle in public settings. you far outshine all the other, dull plus-ones at the dinner parties
you are patrick's trump card - everyone he knows either wants to be you or fuck you, they'll do anything to impress (especially if there's false hope of ending the night in bed with one or both of you)
if you're confident enough, you could be his personal little pornstar!! it makes you so giddy, the knowledge that he could show the snippets of the videos to his coworkers (who dream about getting you naked) and make them jealous of the fact that you've cum numerous times with patrick's name on your lips. the video is recorded on the best equipment of course - he can't have you on video while looking anything less than godlike on camera
he orders your favourite dishes at every restaurant, combs and brushes out your hair when you arrive at his apartment, then fucks you roughly while whispering how thankful he is for you. his babbling pleas for you to stay and praise of your existence echo in your mind for hours after, especially as he rests next to you with steady breathing
patrick leaves hickeys and bite marks all over you and while he might apologise while handing you anti-bruise supplements, know that his mind's eye is stuck on the sigh of your skin blossoming under his lips - specifically, the feeling of his teething nipping your skin and the small hum of satisfaction as he pulls away to inspect his work. if you've been good lately, he'll let you leave a hickey or mark on his chest - it's only fair after he leaves you bruised and aching in his arms the next morning :( if you've behaved to his liking, he'll share some of his japanese pear and kiwi for breakfast. you need some sugar to recoup anyway
if he's been snappy or pent up all day, he'll guilt you into taking him with minimal prep - he will snap and go feral if he's had to rein it in at work, plus the stretch feels heavenly around his thick cock
patrick had once ordered a prostitute for the two of you to experiment with - making sure they were a fair balance between your ideal types, bodywise. this plan went a little off script after the foreplay when you and patrick ended up exploring your exhibitionist sides, passionately kissing and languidly exploring each other's bodies while the hire slowly touched themselves at the sight. that precious hour or so was the easiest pay that person had ever made (you and patrick were far from unattractive), plus that champagne that you poured out was heavenly
patrick has you suck him off during skincare routines in the morning and evening, making sure to cum all down your throat. he insists it's good protein for you!! kneeling in front of the bathroom countertop has become second nature to you, the divine sight of your rugged lover above you routinely making you feel at ease
you had better be friends with his secretary jean because you'll see her a lot. if she gets jealous and her failed attempts at sleeping with him affect her capabilities, patrick will simply hire a different secretary. sure, he'll love to flaunt you and taunt them about how they aren't fucking either of you, but that's just part of his fun. he might use the empty threat of fucking you in front of the secretary as a way to keep you from acting out, but he's too possessive to have someone in a different tax bracket see you laid bare
get him spa day gift cards!! you can both spend time in private saunas or pools simply enjoying each other's presence and use the time to caress each other's bodies. use the opportunity to get a full body massage - when patrick has had a rough week, you're more than likely going to end up with a couple bruises and a few sore muscles
while he's never been the most domestic man, the image of you flitting back and forth in his pristine kitchen flicks a switch in patrick's brain. your earnest efforts of making him his breakfast bran muffins and churning his apple butter has him daydreaming of keeping you in his apartment like a pet - at his beck and call constantly, dusting his expensive furniture and preparing his meals whenever he comes home... not to mention how you'd willingly bend over or drop to your knees in a heartbeat if he so desired
if patrick is riding an adrenaline (or cocaine) high when he returns to you, be very careful and tread lightly. he may have an itch to clean his axe or handguns, polishing them until the late hours of the night. when he's in a jittery and frantic state, he isn't above having you spread out on his polished floor as something nice to look at while assembling the firearms, and he's certainly not against fucking you roughly while holding the gun to your head or body. he's even aroused by the though of you sucking off his uzi, spit-slicked metal knocking your teeth as your glistening eyes widen in fear
when you sleep next to him, he might jolt awake at night before realizing your shifting movements pose no threat to him, especially when you're locked into his arms with your soft breath brushing against his skin. when he gazes at you in these dimly lit moments, his mask slips until he feels a semblance of happiness - there's no discomfort, jealousy or boredom, he's content with you against him like this. after a long while of his breathing filling the dark room, his mind forces his walls back up and reverts him back to his usual self just as he drifts to sleep. no one can ever see him like that, see what your presence does to him... not even you
he has a penchant for fucking you infront of his toshiba 30-inch television, a porno tape or horror movie often playing. he loves the way screams - either of ecstasy or pain - fill his ears as you moan beneath him, the colours of the screen dancing on your skin. his cock always pulses just that little bit more whenever you bite his thumb and take his dick deep inside you as the film plays in the background. red is suck a sexual and raw colour after all, why not have the bright screen fill your vision as you cum on his cock? the vibrance drowns out all other stimuli, forcing you to focus on his presence in and around you
imagine the shock on evelyn's face when she shows up unannounced at patrick's place one late afternoon- he's swaying to heuy louis and the news, hands on your hips as you giggle and pour him a glass. his silk shirt loosely buttoned just covers your modesty as he soothingly rubs circles on your thigh, soft grin fading as his gaze frosts over at the sight of his betrothed. she sniffs, scandalized at the sight infront of her, and tells patrick to not bother contacting her - tim price's phone will be unplugged the moment she arrives at his place. to be honest, patrick could not care less. you're in his arms and he knows for a fact that evelyn will be over it soon - if not, there's a more suitable marriage candidate right in front of him. if you feel bad or guilty after evelyn leaves, patrick will do his best with his hands, thick cock, tongue and credit card to soothe your worries
expect patrick to leave desperate and vaguely threatening voice mail messages - his heavy, stuttered breaths echoing in your ears as the slick sounds in the background get you more and more worked up. the depraved ramblings deepen and get hoarser with each passing minute, so you'd better pray jean doesn't walk in - she isn't worthy of seeing him in such a disheveled and flushed state
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amab hcs
luis is the most understanding of patrick's work bunch - he isn't shy to defend you and be seen in public as your friend, once you are comfortable telling him your secret of course. just make sure everyone knows you're not a part of that yale thing and you'll be fine
although he isn't keen on being open about his relationship with you - for fear of his colleagues and fellow acquaintances of wall street making derogatory comments towards him, or worse, you - majority of the men already have some closeted urge to spend the night with you, yearning to take bateman's place in your bed. let's face it, the cocaine, competition and firm handshakes can only do so much to hide the growing homoerotic tensions between the coworkers. your appeal is wider than you realise, as the compliments and lingering gazes at events would have most outsiders questioning if carruthers was the only gay man present in the social circle
in large social gatherings - such as big dinner parties or company events - patrick is able to hide his hand under the table and keep a poker face while unbuttoning your fly, untucking your shirt and slowly palming you for his own amusement. his bragging of designer clothing, company roles and mentions of a nice house he procured - for you to move into, of course - easily distract the other people on the table from what's happening in their vicinity
if his j&b on the rocks isn't hitting the spot or the cigars his colleagues are smoking feel heavy in his lungs, he'll drag you into the men's room - assuming there's no one in the other stalls, of course. his fly is halfway undone by the time your knees and expensive slacks hit the tiles, his hands mussing your slicked back hair. you'd better take his cock down your throat to the best of your abilities - you don't want an audience to witness you choking and spluttering on bateman's length, do you? of course not, they'll ostracize you in a heartbeat (or so patrick says), so you had better not complain or splutter when he pinches your nose shut and shoots hot ropes down your throat
whenever patrick fucks your ass, he ensures that his mark is left on your supple skin for days later - whether it be a handprint-shaped bruise, crescent nail marks or scratches along your thighs, he needs to have you remembering how well he fucks you. as you sit down, adjust your pants or even just accidentally back into something, patrick is suddenly at the forefront of your mind
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afab hcs
patrick buys you the finest jewelry and nicest accessories that money can buy - the deal is that you give him handjobs with the sparkling rings on and kisses with the expensive lipstick, luxurious material framing your figure like a dream. he is especially a fan of you wearing jewels that match your eye colour or makeup - when he lifts your hand to press a polite kiss on your fingers, the glittering in your eyes matching his gifts makes his heart skip a beat
when you cockwarm him, his length is so hefty and makes you feel so stretched - the weight grounds you as you struggle to gain friction against your poor neglected clit. you always feel so full when you're perched on his lap, the girth enough to turn off your brain and make you drool. sometimes when patrick is feeling bold, he prepares your outfit for the day and ensures that you're wearing a cute little skirt for easy access :( he can be selfish sometimes, on the occasion that he solely thinks with his dick
patrick loves pushing your knees up to your chest as he fucks you deeply in missionary - the feeling of your swollen pussy lips brushing against his veiny base and your clit grinding against his pubic bone gets him more worked up than he'll ever admit
it's fairly normal to have patrick's hand drift towards your chest in the back of a taxi, his face buried in the crook of your neck. keep your noises quiet or the driver might be curious about what's happening in the backseat. his cold fingers harshly pinching and tugging at your nipples make you abruptly moan into the brisk air in the back of the car, patrick subtly palming himself to the tortured whines leaving your lips. if you make eye contact with the driver, mouth that you're sorry for patrick's behaviour and try to save your dignity by biting your lip to avoid any loud noises. if they make direct eye contact with patrick first, however, expect him to pull a smug grin and flash your breasts to the angled rear-view mirror. he might even hike up your skirts to show off your soaked, borderline see-through panties. sneak the poor driver a tip on your way out because he nearly caused an accident, losing all brain function as his blood immediately drained from his head and rushed to his cock :<
patrick buys you two little platinum charms with a necklace chain, his initials engraved on the back of the heart shaped pendant. the other little shape is an axe, the edge of the blade set with tiny red garnets!! he is main motivation for having you wear it constantly is the fact that it makes a small clinking noise as you bounce on his cock, breasts swaying and your glimmering skin making the necklace a truly beautiful sight to patrick
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ftm hcs
patrick will pay for any surgery you could every want - with the small caveat that he must be the first person to see and touch you once you're all healed. his lightly concealed wonder at your altered appearance and his admiring hums as he carefully traces the remaining swelling definitely help with your mood, breathlessly marveling at the miracle of modern medicine. he's praying you're happy with the outcome, it really was the best money could buy :(
if you're only just getting into wearing masculine clothing, you bet your ass that patrick is guiding you through the more expensive stores. no awkward phase, just the nicest clothing and most put together outfits to go out on the town!! as much as he understands how tough your body image issues can be, he's not having you look sloppy out in public - you're his man and you'll always be looking like you belong by his side
you're lucky his designer boxers are easy to clean! every time he catches sight of your muscles tensing, he's undoubtedly leaking into the material. when you're stretching and your shirt rides up, when you grab something from the top shelf or even when you crouch to tie your shoelace - his cock doesn't discriminate so you'd better expect a small, darkening patch. the musk at the end of the day has such a heady rush when you kneel in front of him, his sweaty underwear mere inches from your lips. patrick swears you give his dick a heartbeat whenever you make out with his bulge and especially when you sloppily give him head :3
bateman is a huge fan of quickies with you before meetings with your mutual colleagues - he's booked for lunch after, there's no other time in his schedule to empty his heavy, full balls into you :( his favourite way to spend those precious moments is with you bent over his polished desk, expensive pants crumpled at your ankles and your precum dripping onto the carpet. he is a massive fan of teasing you by pushing his cockhead into your slick boycunt and stroking his cock, edging his length until you're whimpering from the need to be filled. he mocks you for being needy and massages his balls when he finally fills your warm hole with thick, potent ropes of cum. he leaves you unsatisfied and leaking his load for the whole meeting :( splash your face with water and try not to squirm too much in your seat - patrick's classic shit-eating grin might give away the events that transpire mere moments before you both walked into the boardroom
mtf hcs
patrick will pay for any surgery you could every want - with the small caveat that he must be the first person to see and touch you once you're all healed. his lightly concealed wonder at your altered appearance and his hums as he carefully traces the remaining swelling definitely help with your mood, breathlessly marveling at the miracle of modern medicine. he's praying you're happy with the outcome, it really was the best money could buy :(
patrick keeps himself well put together and likes to treat you to manicures on shared days out. he'll ask his friend's girls for the best nail salon in the area and insists taking you. after he comes along to pick you up and pay after the set is finished, sometimes he'll immediately take your hands and hum his approval at the colour or design. other times, he'll give you his overcoat and hide your nails until you get in a private area, bathroom or the back of a car - the reveal of your new nails when you slowly stroke his cock, spit slicked hand glistening, makes his eyes roll back in pleasure. your heated gaze and slightly flushed face makes him grin, happy that you're willing to drool on his cock and flaunt his money proudly. the perfect girl, in his opinion :>
if you're only just getting into wearing feminine clothing, you bet your ass that patrick is guiding you through the more expensive stores. no awkward phase, just the nicest clothing and most put together outfits to go out on the town!! as much as he understands how tough your body image issues can be, he's not having you look sloppy out in public - you're his girl and you'll always be looking like you belong by his side
patrick's favourite evening activity is fucking you in a mating press - his cock filling you and hitting that deep spot inside you, your eyes rolling into the back of your head. he loves the sight of your girldick bouncing on your tummy and the shine of your dribbling arousal smearing on your skin. nothing beats a relaxed evening with your tight hole warming his throbbing length
_ _ _ _ _
thanks for reading. lmk if you liked it. if i got anything wrong, don't hesitate to tell me.
stay safe.
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geminimoonmadness · 1 year ago
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NATAL
RETROGRADES
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Copywrites Reserved ©️GeminiMoonMadness
A retrograde in astrology is when a planetary object appears to move backwards, which essentially means the planet's energy is somewhat effected, so those life areas that fall under that planet's domain are not as easily expressed. It’s a very karmic thing to have in the natal chart, your soul chose to incarnate to learn deeper lessons regarding the areas of life ruled by that specific planet/asteroid. To know if you have a natal retrograde in your chart, look for Rx or R on a generated chart calculator.
Fun fact: Mars is the rarest retrograde.
❤️🖤❤️
Planets
If your Ruling Planet is Retrograde it will make you doubt yourself more and you may experience self image issues.
For example: A Gemini Rising with a natal Mercury retrograde or A Sagittarius Rising with a natal Jupiter retrograde.
Mercury Retrograde gives you lessons around communication, learning and intellect. You may struggle to articulate words and speak up or may even talk too much and not know when to be quiet.
Venus Retrograde makes someone’s nature more intense & deep. They take their connections very seriously which may cause these individuals to go through difficulties in regards to their one on one relationships. Since socialising is not taken lightly there can be some sort of awkwardness when participating in small talk and general shyness in order to avoid superficial connections.
Mars Retrograde individuals may lack forward movement, assertive abilities, have a dulled passion & drive. They may feel fatigued & tired more than often. Your sex drive may also be effected because of this.
Jupiter Retrograde individuals tend to have different or unusual perspectives, belief systems, or sets of morals. They prefer to learn from their own experiences rather than from others. This placement gives me “what do you know because you’ve experienced it yourself VS what do you know because you were told” vibes.
Saturn Regrograde burdens you with responsibilities and a sense of duty in your life. You may struggle with boundaries and find it difficult to say no to others.
Uranus Retrograde may make it hard for you to fully express your inner originality and unique side. These individuals are born a rebel and may also experience unexpected & sudden karmic events in their life.
Neptune Retrograde takes away your rose coloured glasses, you may have to face hard and painful realities as the neptunian illusion is stripped away. You’re meant to discover the truth behind your illusions, realise what is sacred and be a source of light in others lives.
Pluto Retrograde brings more growth opportunities into your life. You may have a fear of letting go which you’re here to learn the importance of doing so. You need to take control of your life as your shadow side may take over if you don’t do the work to transform/grow. (Shadow work is necessary with this placement)
(I know Lilith isn’t a planet, just adding it)
Lilith Retrograde can make you a sexual deviant (because sexuality is part of Lilith’s nature and here it's manifesting differently). You may struggle with following your instincts and acknowledging your desires. For example: Someone with a retrograde Lilith in Virgo would not be the typical control freak Lilith in Virgo person, instead they will be very messy.
ASTEROIDS
Chiron Retrograde means that trauma is deep within and may even come from a past life. In this lifetime, these individuals are here to re-evaluate your relationship with anyone & anything that doesn’t support you anymore. They may find it challenging to accept their feelings and the simple fact that humans are imperfect and vulnerable.
Ceres Retrograde individuals can struggle with having the nourishment, support, resources they need and may experience a lack in some way. This usually means that your upbringing failed to teach you the proper lessons about nurture and self care, so you'll have to learn it yourself. Check your Ceres sign and it will teach you what you need to nurture.
Juno Retrograde individuals may have commitment issues or trauma they need to work through. This also is an indication of past life karma in regards to relationships. These people are the lone wolves, they tend to avoid partnerships & may even prefer to be single and independent.
Vesta Retrograde individuals may lack devotion and discipline. It can bring up issues around fear of sexuality or intimacy, obsession, prostitution or selling yourself short in some way. They’re here to learn the value of service, this will examine how much dedication they’re putting into their life. When we put in little dedication, we can suffer. When we put in too much dedication, we can suffer as well. They may struggle with feeling like they fit in because they tend to lack devotion and/or generosity for others.
Pallas Retrograde may make someone aggressive, immature, have criminal tendencies and daddy issues. These individuals strategy may not be accept by society, with a ‘pick me’ vibe. They are inclined to manipulate and lie but can overcome these traits with self awareness and shadow work.
Amor retrograde individuals have some sort of discomfort when it comes to romance. You may have some old love issues and traumas to work through. These people tend to take a different approach to romance.
Cupido Retrograde may mean you have way too many crushes or rarely have any. You become too infatuated at times, or lack passion, and need to find a balance between the two.
Eros Retrograde may cause some issues around sex. This indicates there may be past trauma on a soul level, so you need to work on acknowledging your desires and acting on urges and fantasies in a healthy way.
Hermes Retrograde people tend to be in the wrong crowd and often find themselves taking the fall for others mistakes. These people tend to be good people but they may not be the best at balancing their life and managing their time. Possible fertility issues. Due to past accidents or incidents they have experienced in a past life may give them travel-related fears in this life. (fear of flying, fear of water, fear of driving, fear of bikes, fear of trains, fear of horses, etc.)
Eris Retrograde people may unintentionally cause trouble by doing things they thought wouldn’t be an issue. They may not like confronting others because it feels uncomfortable or they feel attacked whenever they speak up for themselves - They tend to experience a lot of gaslighting yet they usually hate fighting with others. They may often feel as though they are alone even when surrounded by other people.
Aphrodite Retrograde individuals may experience extremes from having stalkers to not being adored by others at all. They may feel unseen and unappreciated by others, making it often difficult to appreciate themselves. They tend to experience a lot of drama and may not be the most jealous person but rather the person who is too insecure to be openly jealous as if it’s like they expected it, “too good to be true” vibes.
❤️🖤❤️
I tried to be as informative as I could and added as much variety as I can with the asteroids I’m familiar with. There are other retrogrades I haven’t listed here.
Let me know which of these you have!
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steddieas-shegoes · 1 year ago
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headcanon- steve secretly being insanely good at something, maybe chess or something similarly associated with intelligence. when everyone finds out they are surprised and doubtful leading steve to have the realization "oh. you guys genuinely think I'm stupid."
Steve loved seeing how things worked, he had since he was too young to actually figure things out by himself.
He got caught pulling apart his dad’s office calculator when he was nine, insisted he could put it back together, and did.
It took him a week, but he did it.
Then it was the house phone.
Then his desk lamp.
The toaster.
He always got them back together and working, but his parents weren’t very pleased if they caught him in the process.
Still, he loved the feeling of understanding how certain wires connecting meant something would light up or how one color wire would make something produce a number and another would produce power.
He continued doing it with random objects for years.
The concussions made it harder, his vision going blurry if he focused a little too long on a small part of the technology, his frustration making it even worse.
When Eddie found out, he gave him an old amp that wasn’t working anymore, said it probably would never work again but he could take a look inside.
Steve got it working in two days.
Wayne gave him their VHS player when it stopped rewinding, didn’t want to have to buy a new one even if they did have the money for it now. He had it fixed in four hours.
The oven in the new Munson home randomly stopped working, so of course Steve was called.
He came during Hellfire, ignoring the strange looks as he waved and made his way straight to kitchen.
He got to work, humming to himself as he made sure electricity was cut off from it, that there was no gas hookup anywhere, and pulled it from the wall.
The wiring inside was relatively straightforward, and he saw the problem almost immediately.
A loose wire connecting from the heat source to the controls. Easy fusing. Done.
He tested to make sure it was fixed, and ten minutes later, he was calling Wayne at work on the house phone to let him know it was fixed.
When he turned around, Dustin and Lucas were standing in the doorway, mouths open.
“You’ll catch flies like that. You know Eddie leaves the windows open all the time.”
“You fixed the oven?”
“Uh. Yeah?”
“By yourself? Like the inside of it?”
“Yeah?”
“How? That’s so many wires and stuff.”
“It’s not that hard.”
“That’s like, electrical engineering shit.”
Steve realized what was happening just as everyone else walked into the kitchen.
“Oh. You guys don’t think I’m smart enough.”
He felt like he hit a brick wall.
“What’s going on?” Eddie came to stand next to Steve, arm wrapping around his waist.
“We didn’t know Steve was smart.”
The words were unintentionally harsh, but Steve and Eddie flinched anyway.
“Steve’s incredibly smart. He fixes all kinds of things.”
“Eds, it’s fine.”
“It’s not fine. They know better than to make assumptions about someone based on grades in school or how they understand certain things.”
Steve shrunk into Eddie’s side, doing his best to hide his face while he held back tears.
“You can all apologize or you can leave.”
There was silence for a moment and Steve was almost convinced that they’d all left.
He turned his head to see everyone staring at him.
“We’re sorry, Steve. Really. Eddie’s right. We shouldn’t have assumed you weren’t super smart just because you didn’t do well in school or don’t understand us when we ramble.”
Will was always a good kid, maybe his favorite at the moment.
“‘S okay guys.”
Eddie’s fingers tightened on his waist for a moment.
“So do you fix all kinds of stuff or just appliances?”
“I like to take stuff apart and put it back together. Sometimes I just end up fixing something along the way.”
“So you could look at my walkie?” Max piped up. “It keeps going to static in the middle of me talking.”
“Sure. Probably just a disconnected wire between the speaker and the button.”
Max beamed back at him, not just happy he would try to fix it, but proud.
Everyone started asking if he could fix things they had, surprised when he agreed to it all.
They filtered back out to the dining room area where they played, except for Dustin.
“What’s up?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that you’re stupid or anything. I know you’re not stupid. I was just surprised. I shouldn’t have been; you’re always finding the crossed wires with us and fixing those.”
Steve pulled him into a hug.
“People aren’t nearly as easy as electronics, dude.”
“Yeah, but you make it look that way.”
Steve quickly became the group’s engineer, always fixing what was broken, whether it was a flashlight or a bad day. He was pretty good at putting things and people back together.
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tzihomara · 4 months ago
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in one of my moods again, need to pull myself out of the delusional chokehold this man has me in with brutally realistic headcanons, also first post lord..
bf sukuna ryomen who . . . hates physical touch , you’d be immediately slapped like a fly pestering him if you even thought you could touch him, he’d look at you dead in your eyes after and scoff at your audacity, and just because it’s you…he’d probably purposely not hold back with his strength.
bf sukuna ryomen who . . . would fight you as a “joke” , to him, it is a joke. he thinks it’s the most hilarious thing in the world, shoving you around and seeing you on your last leg, and being the one to kick you down when he claims he’s “not even going that hard” on you, sorcerer or not. he doesn’t have the intention to kill you, he still wants to keep you around for reasons of his own, he just wants to see you weak.
bf sukuna ryomen who . . . treats everyone better , by everyone, it’s uraume. he claims he’s not or tries to flip it on you, calling you a “ungrateful brat”, or he’s either gaslighting you, and going back and fourth with him would be torturous. he’d go back to acting as if you’re crazy, showing not just uraume but anyone other than you more decency and acknowledgment, sometimes purposely and sometimes he just doesn’t care about what you think, like always.
bf sukuna ryomen who . . . would not pleasure you , hes definitely the type to not be bothered to cheat, but would also dread having to go to you out of all people for his needs. you’d have to (hesitantly) plead him for sex, or even intimacy in general, and out of wanting you to quit bothering him he’d do it pettily, no foreplay, just straight into it and focusing on his pleasure, leaving you not even close to finishing.
bf sukuna ryomen who . . . sees you as a possession , only being able to feel the thrill of fighting a strong opponent, and his insatiable hunger; greed and gluttony. why he’d want you? no clue, but he sees you as just another object to try and sedate his need to have everything, being used to getting what he wants when he wants it, who would stop him? certainly not you. would rather die than admit it, but seethes if you’re even finding any enjoyment or being particularly friendly to the people you’re “allowed” to see, the very few that he hasn’t kilt off out of impulse and possessiveness, but don’t get it confused with jealousy. would most definitely take it out on you too, not physically but he has a mouth on him, and the second he turns to you he’s spewing out any vile thing he could say at you.
bf sukuna ryomen who . . . does not love you , point blank. he would not feel anything towards you, and if he did, your head is only being kept on your shoulders because you’re a source of entertainment, this man has been bored for MILLENNIA.
bonus | bf sukuna ryomen who . . . would probably eat you when he gets bored , and onto the next.
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my masterlist for more .ᐟ
ⓘ all right’s reserved, do not republish, edit, or translate my work.
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be constantly in own world for me (level 2/3 autism) mean like. think pretty much only about self. understand only self. entire world just me n special interest, sometimes/often times not even include own basic needs, like “hair greasy clump body itchy need shower” (unconsciously feel bad sensory, n make very uncomfortable annoyed easily frustrated, but don’t consciously know am feeling extra irritated or that am feel this way because need shower). n world often limited to thing in front of me. n sometimes not even include thing in front of me. see it (as in physically capable of vision) but not see it. n thing, people, any that not put infront of me for while, stop realize they existed in first place.
n be in own world, only think only able know self, mean that, see self as normal, as norm. everyone (this abstract concept of other people that have memorized like you memorize history fact for test), everyone like me. not even “am like everyone,” but that everyone is like me. everyone same ability as me. everyone think like me.
“everyone think like that to extent”
right. to extent. thing is am far greater than that normal “extent”
to point that average day, ask me, n would only able explain that, “think everyone same ability as me, everyone think like me. everyone exist like me.” stay at vague generalization because not able think any deeper not able think of examples. to give example in this situation mean on some level need have ability understand “am think this normal but others may think it abnormal for them”. n. most times not have ability to second part, because in own world theory of mind.
sometimes try force it. try really hard force it. try really hard think, look at other people, try make sense try find what exact different. but can’t force something not have ability. so go back rely on scripting. sometimes advanced scripting n rephrased scripting.
special interest in something social-related let me cheat little bit. appear more capable. like break down complex autism community disability community dynamics. but am videotaping camera. computer analyzing research data. not participant. it thankfully happen, but it only happen because special interest allow it be part of own world, n it only part of own world because can only see these (supposedly very humanly n organic n messy) interactions as flow charts, maps, equations, inanimate objects. closest metaphor may be, with this special interest lens that allow these social dynamics enter own world, am looking at these “people” these social dynamics similar to regular person playing the sims n thinking of sims character made out of code that they control.
rare rare times able suddenly realization of outside world. usually happen in flash. n then end. n then left to chase that feeling trying so hard remember what it felt like so can memorize it like another history fact to memorize for test removed from source removed from emotion, to make self appear know what am talking about know more than am capable of, next time someone ask, “isn’t everyone like this?”
just had flash of that that lead to write this whole thing. but already gone. something about… “those funny ‘gen z fix up work force’ stories. they actually people same age as me?’” something about sudden realize what people my age my life stage expected do usually do. something about think am so normal but actually am missing out “so many” things (what things?).
friend tell me “by be young person who severely disabled you missing out so much on same age activities”. n. inside think, (i am but) “don’t know. …am i?” n for it be genuine question, or disbelief question.
n respond with “haha, yea.”
it not lying. it just script. am don’t know what my script means.
don’t follow up by ask me “so what you think you missing out on?”
don’t know. don’t have that script (a script am don’t know meaning to) yet that make other people think am understand, either.
[please don’t say you “relate” or “feel same” “this me” or similar unless am know who you are.]
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cannellee · 11 months ago
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HIII cannellee!! (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈) it’s 🍓 again!! i have another super cute abo idea, could we have the tr boys with a very clumsy but cute omega who has bruises all over her legs from bumping into objects because she keeps running into things like chairs or low tables… maybe how they react seeing injuries for the first time? or how they try to “steer her away from danger”? ty for reading, i hope you have a amazing christmas!!!!!! ( ˶˘ ³˘(⋆❛ ہ ❛⋆)!♡
TOKYO REVENGERS OMEGAVERSE ☆
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୨୧ alpha! tokyo rev x omega! reader
— their reactions to a cute and clumsy s/o (pairing : mikey, mitsuya, kazutora, chifuyu, izana, kaukucho, angry, baji)
my masterlist : ☆
I reaaally love this, it's so cute! I hope I did a good job, but I'm not really proud of this one sorry. I hope you had a great Christmas too thanks<3
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ALPHA! MIKEY
upon noticing your bruises and bumps all over you, mikey gets immediately concerned and harbours a deep frown when he asks you about it.
his alpha instincts command him to make sure you're well and assess the situation to know what's wrong.
when you admit it's because of how clumsy you are, he's relieved it isn't anything more serious and finds it even endearing.
of course, his protective nature doesn't take long to kick in and he's paying even more attention to your surroundings.
rather than being upset about your lack of care, he's understanding and gently inquires why that is, so he can identify the issue behind your clumsiness.
now, when you're together, he offers you his support. whenever you fall and if he hasn't prevented that before, he'll be quick to help you up on your feet, pat your head to assure you it's okay and check your knees to look for any new bruises.
he'll tease you about it, but just to lighten up the mood and show you that he doesn't view your clumsiness as a source of frustration. it is made to make you feel comfortable around him.
ALPHA! MITSUYA
mitsuya is very observing, so he did noticed your tendency to fall and trip early on.
he won't mention it to you though, he'll provide a silent support and watch you carefully.
he'll offer to do certain tasks if he thinks it might harm you. if you need to reach something which is put high in a cupboard, he grabs you by the waist before you even finish climbing and gets it for you.
he tells you to rely on him, he's your alpha and he wants you to trust him and let him act like your partner.
when you're taking a walk, he takes your hand and gently guides you, replacing you so that you don't step into a bump on the road for example.
he does everything so that you don't have to injure yourself, but if it was to happen, his reaction is quick. he'll profusely scent you to prevent any stress or anxiety troubling you and will patch you up.
you'll end up cuddling with him inside your nest!
ALPHA! KAZUTORA
now kazutora is really worried.
what do you mean his omega is getting injured on a daily basis ?
when he first saw your bruised legs during summer, he felt an immense amount of anger.
kazutora is the type to act on impulse and in his head, those were the result of some bad people with malicious intentions towards his sweet omega.
he was furious and checked for more injuries, it was a hard task to calm him down and you thought it wouldn't be possible unless you gave him a couple of innocent names (that had nothing to do with the situation, he was just so sure you were a victim of crazy alphas).
luckily, upon smelling your calm pheromones, he figured you didn't lie to him out of fear and he eventually let his guard down.
now he's even more vigilant. it actually hurts him to know you're this clumsy and it troubles his mind.
he's the type to kiss your bruises though, and act overly reassuring and protective even when you don't actually need it.
ALPHA! CHIFUYU
although stressed at first, chifuyu is quick to approach the situation with a calming demeanor.
he's soo gentle with you, he'll rush to you each time you hurt yourself and shower you with his reassuring pheromones while making sure the cut on your finger isn't too deep.
if the fall was hard he asks you if you're okay, eyes full of care, telling you soothing words to drive away any distress.
chifuyu's touch is tender and he'll softly remind to be more careful whenever he's not here because he can't assist you.
he'll try his best to create a safe space for you : his omega can't get hurt if she's under chifuyu's watchful care!
if it was really serious, he will crack a joke to lighten up your mood and distract you from the pain.
he will offer you a comfortable place to sit afterwards ; if you're out, he's bringing you snacks from the shop next to you and if it was at your place, he's tucking you inside your nest. all the smells make you instantly relax!
ALPHA! ANGRY
angry is concerned.
once he learns you're this prone to injure yourself, it's over for you.
he was already worried sick about you going outside alone, as an omega you're often a target for other alphas and people who might know you're affiliated to him.
but now? now that he knows you don't even need to go outside to be at harm's length, he's constantly trying to check up on you.
now your dates consist of you both staying at your place, watching a movie inside your nest, cuddling and playing games, overall very calming activities.
angry might overdo it, but you need to understand that his instincts are shaking now knowing his omega is jeopardizing herself.
he carries band aids everywhere with him too.
ALPHA! KAKUCHO
he is prepared and reliable.
yes, you can hurt yourself alone, it happens, but it never does in his presence.
he's careful, even if he looks focused on something else, and will prevent anything from happening to you, from the tiniest cut to the most absurd fall.
if your clumsiness appears because of stress, you can be sure his scent is always enveloping you.
he tenderly kisses your forehead and praises you whenever you successfully stop yourself from falling.
he slowly kisses your bruises and healed scars with sweet patience, you absolutely love his kind nature.
you sometimes feel guilty for the way he seems genuinely upset and apologises for not being able to look after you better.
you tell him it's okay but he feels a sense of responsibility for his omega's wellbeing. he's committed and as your alpha he has to shield you from anything hurtful.
ALPHA! IZANA
he's devoted. he offers you his entire support and will do anything to keep you far from harm, even if you're the one bringing it to you.
he doesn't get mad nor annoyed, he just wants to make sure it won't happen again.
if you thought you weren't protected enough by him, expect an even more on edge izana. you're so important for him, he can't help the creeping worry he's feeling.
he now ensures that his physical presence is a constant source of protection. whether it's standing close or wrapping an arm around your waist, he establishes a boundary to both claim you and reassure you. it keeps you steady and he's there if you ever were to trip.
izana wants to have control over the situation and does his best to react accordingly to ensure your safety.
but he's still gentle and have a careful touch despite his alpha assertiveness.
if he didn't know you often bumped into furniture, you better tell him fast because he won't calm down as easily as kazutora.
izana won't believe you at first, and will definitely not tolerate anybody touching his precious omega. that's why he's a menace.
he tends to be overprotective, doing his job as your alpha a bit too well and literally preventing you to live normally.
he calls you regularly and checks for any new bruises everytime you meet up, he made you swear you would be more careful!
ALPHA! BAJI
the first time he noticed your bruises, his face was livid while he lifted your arm into his gentle hands.
he's terrifyingly calm and you know it would only take a name before he completely lashes out.
luckily he's a very great listener and really attentive. once you tell him about how you hit your elbow in a door, he gets reminded of all the times you tripped and easily connects the dots.
you're a very clumsy omega and you trigger his instincts like never before.
he softly nags you, praying you to be more careful while also being completely clueless as to why you're so uncoordinated with your movements.
why do you have to drop everything? and the most dangerous things at that?
you give him literal heart attacks.
but he'll joke about it so you never feel bad about that part of yourself. he will sometimes sweep you off your feet and carry you himself so you don't fall down. he will condemn any sharp items and challenge anybody who might make fun of you for it.
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myosotisa · 11 months ago
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Chasm - e.m.
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Eddie Munson x fem!Reader
‖  summary: You're a researcher working at one of the fault lines throughout Hawkins, studying the closed and dormant gates to an alternate dimension. While you're alone on site, one of the gates wakes up again.
‖  tags: horror. i cannot stress this enough. this is unsettling and creepy and angsty with slight sexual tension. in line with the content in the show. post season 4, canon compliant. emetophobia warning. dubcon kissing. forced consumption (writing it made me gag just warning you. but im also kind of a baby so). no y/n, she/her pronouns used. flayed!eddie infects you. open ended ending. also steve is there sometimes. there's a ton of background lore that is only vaguely explained lol
‖  word count: 8.3k ‖  read on AO3 ‖  the song ‖
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None of the rifts have shown any activity in over a year. Months and months of dead readings and no signals. Just waiting.
So what's a girl supposed to do when your EMF meter spikes alone on site? Sit around and wait for a crew to suit up and march their way over to the fault you were at? No fucking way. No chance.
You report in about the sudden spike in gamma radiation and tell them you're going to find the source. The project lead tells you to stay put and wait for assistance, as expected.
Your radiation gear was already halfway on. Oops, sorry boss, didn't hear you.
Handheld voltage meter in one hand, audio recorder in the other, and a pocket full of glow sticks, you push out past the plastic tarps and into the humid night air of Indiana summer.
The readings bring you west, toward the condemned trailer park and the "start" of your fault line. You crack a glow stick and drop it every few feet, marking your path. When the reading jumps up, you make a '+' sign with two at the spot before continuing forward. It was hard to say without exact measurements, but it seemed to be increasing at equal intervals. Like frozen waves on the surface of water.
"I'm approaching the Forest Hills sign," you say into the receiver, your own voice the only sound in the night air. "Current readings are…" You bring the meter up, using the light hanging from your neck to read the display. "Approaching 70 mv/m of high frequency radiation, roughly 31016 Hz. The next… 'Layer', for lack of a better term, will most likely breach Safe EMF levels, not considering the potential protection of the suit."
Lowering the meter again when it gives a beep of warning, you tuck it under your arm and crack another glow stick, leaving a '+' at the boundary to the trailer park. "I'll probably need treatment when I get back to base – as long as I grab a reading from the source and get out quickly, there won't be lasting damage. You hear that, Dr. Pierce?" You say through an over-confident huff, readjusting your arms to keep moving forward. "I'm well aware of the risks and take responsibility for my own actions."
The park itself looks like a bad dream at night – trailers abandoned hastily with doors still hung open and belongings scattered along the ground. Between the sudden fault opening and the bureau rushing in, the existing residents had been given very little time and grace to move into temporary housing across town. And it looked every bit like an entire community of people had just up and disappeared.
The suit you were in didn’t exactly help coordination, so you moved slowly and carefully over and around discarded objects along the dirt. Clothing, kitchen utensils, a quilt, a stack of newspapers, a child's toy. All left untouched for over a year.
Clearing the corner of one of the empty trailers, you catch sight of something strange.
“The fault itself has looked normal up to this point, no activity. But I can see the source now. It’s… It appears to be glowing red, fading in and out in a constant cycle.” Approaching even slower than before, you watch intently as the glow grows and then retreats again. Like waves on the shore.
The meter gives another shrill alarm – making you jump nearly out of your skin as you swat at it with the recorder. “Jesus Christ!” It quiets with a sinking pitch in your hand. 
Before checking the reading, you quickly make another ‘+’ with glow sticks, digging them into the dirt a bit in an attempt to keep them from moving. Still down on one knee, you bring the meter up to your flashlight again.
“The meter is now reading 110 mv/m, same frequency. I’m roughly… 12 feet out from the source now. There’s a, uh, humming sound. Not sure if the recording is picking it up. And feeling pressure on my eardrums,” you explain into the device, eyes locked on the glow ahead. “I’ll continue to approach – see if I can get a closer reading. If it jumps above 150, I’ll fall back.”
Pushing to your feet again with a huff, you readjust your full load and press forward slowly. The closer you get to the source, you can see that the fault rapidly grows in size. The space between the edges looks large enough to fit a car as it rounds out at the end – a red pond in the ground.
“I can see the source clearer now. The glow is coming from within – there’s a…" You take a few steps closer, squinting to get a better look. "It appears to be an opaque membrane covering the space between. The glow is coming from behind it. Still cycling at an even rate, no change.”
The meter in your hand gives its shrillest warning yet, scaring you badly enough that it goes flying out of your hand; it hits the ground and flips closer to the edge. “Shit, fuck!”
You shuffle forward and drop down onto your shaky knees, grabbing for the meter as it continues to let out that grating alarm into the night air. Smacking it once more, the sound cuts off abruptly, giving you a chance to breathe.
Bringing it up to your flashlight, your eyes go wide as you lift the recorder again with your other trembling hand. “I’m nearly at the edge now, only a foot or so away  – EMF reading 187 mv/m. Rapid increase from the last point.”
Movement in your peripheral vision catches your attention, your head snapping toward it.
“There’s… What the fuck?" You pause, tempted to rub your eyes to make sure you're really seeing what you're seeing.
"There’s movement below the membrane. It… It’s just a shadow, I can’t tell what it is, but the movement is rapid and the… The humming is getting louder.” Your heart is pounding now, a cold sweat breaking out across your skin beneath the suit. 
“Going to retreat back to base,” you say, mostly attempting to reassure yourself as you slowly back away from the edge. “Final reading was 189 mv/m at 31016 Hz.”
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There’s a crackle of static right before a thumb presses the pause button roughly, silencing the recorder in the center of the table.
“Is that all?” General Richard Highland asks, sounding impatient as he leans back in his conference chair. “That doesn’t tell us anything about what happened to her.”
“No, sir, there’s more.” Private Steve Harrington insists, inclining his head toward the dirty recorder he had delivered. He’s standing by the edge of the table at attention, hands clasped in front of him.  “The recording keeps going.”
Dr. Pierce leans forward from his seat, giving the General a stiff look as he presses the play button again.
There’s a few more moments of static before the woman’s voice fades back in, layered beneath the hum of attempted interference.
“I’m definitely gonna need that rad treatment, Dr. Pierce. My badge is that warning color, even beneath the suit,” she continues with a shaky laugh, the sound of plastic shuffling behind it. “Hopefully I don’t lose my hair or something, but that’s… What?” 
The table of scientists and military personnel sits in tense silence as her voice cuts out again. Half of them are on the edge of their seats, the others showing off a measured calm or disinterest. The general looks particularly annoyed and impatient, while Dr. Pierce looks almost like he wants to throw up.
“There’s… Something’s happening – I don’t–” 
An abrasive crackle echoes out into the room, loud enough to send nearly everyone into a wince, before the recording cuts back in with the sound of screaming. 
“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?! SHIT – I’ve gotta get–" A burst of interference sounds, followed by a metallic grating, like a ship groaning beneath the weight of the ocean.
Her panicked voice comes through, sounding further away than before. "FUCK! It – It’s got my ankle. Let go, you fucking piece of –! SHI–”
The recording cuts out to a buzzing hum.
No one moves for a few moments. Not until Private Harrington steps up to silence the recorder. “We found this recording, a lab issue EMF meter, and a broken flashlight at the edge of the fault." He explains, producing the other two items from the pack resting at his feet. "It was dormant when we got there – solid again.”
“So it just…” One of the other scientists starts, looking at Dr. Pierce uneasily.
“Dragged her through and went back to sleep.” Dr. Pierce confirms solemnly, his gaze locked on the dirty recorder.
“It’s never done this before?” A 2nd scientist, new to the project, asks. The others shake their heads. “So what do we do?”
All eyes turn to Dr. Pierce, who looks like he’s seen a ghost.
“We wait for it to wake up again.”
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Wake up.
Come on, little lamb.
Wake up now.
Looks so peaceful.
But you’ve got to wake up.
WAKE UP.
There’s something wet on your face.
Feeling is slowly returning to your body, your eyes closed and too heavy to open. But there’s something dripping on your cheek – droplets running down toward your mouth. Sticking to your dry lips for a moment or two before falling off. You’re on the ground on your stomach, your cheek squished against something that feels like mud.
Your brain has yet to kick on fully as it tries to regain consciousness through a pounding ache, resonating with the throb of your left leg. It feels like you’re still wearing the rad suit, but the head piece is gone and it might be ripped in places – mud seeping in to touch your skin.
It’s almost like you’re sinking.
Eyelids fluttering open and you’re faced with a desaturated swamp. Like someone came through and sucked half the color out of it.
Lifting one arm is difficult, suctioned into the mud you’re laying in. Once you’ve freed it enough, you’re able to push off the sticky, wet sludge beneath you enough to roll over onto your back.
“Sucks, doesn’t it?”
You sit up with a start, your abdomen screaming in protest as your brain swims. Blinking through the blur in your eyes, you struggle to see anything at all in the dark – only momentarily granted sight by the flashes of red lightning overhead.
“Who’s there?” You call out into the dark, an attempt to sound brave, but your voice trembles as your eyes rapidly flit back and forth.
“Over here.”
The lightning flashes once more as you whip your head toward the voice – showing the silhouette of a man standing a few feet away. From what little you see, he’s tall and slender, head tilted to the side like he’s curious. There’s no chance you can see his face or anything else about him.
Until he’s in your face, crouched down right beside you – crossing the space and appearing in the span of a blink. It gives you a start, attempting to back up but getting caught up in the mud still suctioned to your lower half.
Your fear seems to bring a small smile to his face, plump lips tilting up at the corner. He looks so familiar… Long curly hair draped wetly over his shoulders, the sparse bangs across his forehead, and the soft turn of his nose. Curiosity gets the better of you as you lean in again slightly, squinting your eyes a bit more in the dark to see him better.
“I know you…” You insist softly, causing his eyebrows to raise slightly in surprise. “How do I know you?”
“No clue, because I’ve never met you in my life.” He replies, lips parting in a grin. “And I’m good with faces – ‘specially pretty ones.”
His response catches you off guard as your brain continues reeling and struggling to intake information, which is normally your forte. There’s a million questions on the tip of your tongue and you have no idea where to start.
“You’ll probably need to lose the suit if you want to get out of that shit,” he continues when you don’t respond, motioning to your stationary legs with a wave of his hand. And he’s probably right, with the way the mud beneath you is stuck tight to the shiny plastic. Your best hope is to try to use the suit as a stepping off point to get to stable ground.
“Where should I step once I pull out?” You ask, hoping he’ll understand your goal.
A blink and he’s gone again – another flash of red light placing his silhouette off to your left. “Think you can make it to here?” He responds, voice raised slightly and sounding like he’s teasing you or challenging you. It makes your competitive side flare up on instinct – a frustrated huff leaving your nose as you plan your escape.
Opening the front of the suit, you slip both arms out and let the upper half fall flat behind you. Pulling out both of your legs next, your butt sinks deeper into the ground, nearly sending you off balance as you quickly shift your weight forward onto your knees, using the suit as a stepping stone. It starts to sink, mud coming up over the edge and inching toward your knees, so you have to move fast.
Pushing to your feet makes it sink faster, wet sludge touching the side of your ankle just as you push off in a jump toward where the man was standing.
You land on the ankle that had been grasped by the tentacle, not realizing the throbbing meant it’d been twisted. It makes you cry out in pain and fall forward, directly into the man’s chest.
“Woah there!” He says in surprise, grasping onto your elbows to keep you sort of upright. Between the aching pain and the tears pressing at your eyes, you just barely manage to notice how cold and clammy he is – especially where his hands grip your bare biceps.
Rocketing back, you press your weight onto your good leg and put some distance between the two of you again, your dirty arms crossing over your tank top and smearing it with mud. “Sorry, my, uh, ankle…” You offer awkwardly, still not even sure who you’re talking to.
“Don’t worry about it, angel. You good?”
He actually sounds like he cares. Like he’s concerned for you. Who is he? 
“I’ll be fine,” you insist stubbornly, swallowing down the lump of tears in your throat. Free from your precarious situation, at least partially, you struggle to figure out what to address first. “How are you doing that? Like… Teleporting? Or are you just moving really fast?”
He chuckles softly, shaking his head. “What–,” he disappears in a blink and then you feel a burst of air on the back of your neck, making your hair stand on end, “this?”
You lurch forward before turning around to level him a glare. “Yes, that – don’t do that.”
His hands tuck into the front pockets of the leather jacket he’s wearing as he shrugs, looking quite pleased with himself. “Sorry, angel, didn’t mean to spook you.”
Then silence falls, both of you eyeing each other – you suspiciously and him curiously. The extended pause makes you think you aren’t going to be told how anytime soon.
A breeze kicks up, rustling the branches of the trees in the surrounding swampland and sending a shiver down your spine. Suit lost, you’re down to a tank top, jeans, and a pair of no slip shoes (which were required for people working in the field for some reason). You were dressed for the humid interior of the field site tent in summer and it appears that you have landed yourself in a place where that is not enough.
Taking advantage of the silence, you try to remember everything you can about your studies into the ‘gates’ from when they were open. Very little was known beside second hand accounts and old data – some of which may not even be accurate anymore given the nature of the fault lines. If there was anywhere to start, it would be trying to find the gate you’d been dragged through.
With any luck, you could go right back to your dimension.
But that didn’t account for him. The pale, wet, unsettling-yet-somehow-charming guy that was still staring right at you.
“How long have you been here? Do you know?” You question cautiously, not wanting to upset him in any way.
“That depends, what year is it?”
Your heart drops into your stomach, completely at odds with the continued grin on his face. It looks almost manic now – like every time he sets you off balance brings him great joy. Deciding you’d actually rather not know how long he’s been in here, you move on.
“Have you been alone this whole time? Or are there other people here?”
His grin spreads, like he’s in on a joke you’re not aware of. “I haven’t been alone, no.”
This piques your curiosity again, adjusting your weight on your good leg. “Do you have a community here? How many of you are there?”
“Why don’t you see for yourself?” He suggests, taking a step or two away from you, his hands still tucked into his pockets.
The idea is tempting, if only to learn more about what is going on here, but there’s something nagging at the back of your mind. Something you should be remembering. Something you’re missing. Plus, for all you know, this man does not have your best interests at heart.
“I should probably try to find the gate that brought me here,” you say, slightly regretfully. “See if I can cross back over.”
“Oh, right,” he responds, tapping his forehead with his palm like it should’ve been obvious. “Yeah, I can show you the way.”
This surprises you again, slight concern causing you to stand up straighter. “You can?”
“Sure thing, the closest one isn’t far,” he motions behind him with a tilt of his chin, taking another step back. “Come on.”
So you follow the strange man into the dark, limping after him on your twisted ankle. The mud starts to dry on your skin, hair, and clothing – crusting over and hardening in places. You pick at pieces as you walk, letting the chunks and flakes fall to the ground behind you. From what little you can see, there are vines everywhere along the ground, weaving between tree trunks and layering over each other in place. The man seems to step over them – and you can’t tell if it’s on purpose or a coincidence – but you make a habit of not touching the vines just in case.
It’s unsettlingly quiet here. Every once in a while you’ll hear what sounds like an animal – a howl, a chittering, the thump of feet on the earth. But they are few and far between, leaving mostly just the rush of wind through the trees and a sort of muffled silence, pressure on your ears.
Your paranoia kicks up as the quiet continues, suspiciously eyeing the back of your escort as he leads you forward. For all you knew, he wasn’t leading you anywhere near the gate. You have no reason to trust him beyond the fact that he helped you get out of the sludge you woke up in. He was in this dimension after all, clearly familiar with it. That had to be a red flag if anything, given what little you actually knew about it.
So much was classified beyond your reach – the bureau was very specific with what you were allowed to read and know and what you weren’t. Given the dormant nature of the fault lines, it hadn’t been necessary for you to learn too much about the dimension on the other side. Most of what you studied and knew was about the gates themselves.
Even with the bureau being as paranoid and obsessive as it was – a lowly field researcher getting dragged to the other side and needing to survive hadn’t seemed to be on their radar.
The pessimistic part of you not-so-helpfully supplies that was probably just because they weren't very interested in your survival at all. They’d probably prefer it if you died here. If anything, your exposure to the other side made you more of a liability.
Maybe one they could experiment on, if you got lucky and survived.
This train of thinking isn’t helping anything. You could worry about what your life would become if you made it out.
Walking up to the lifeless and solid gate turns that into a very tentative if.
“Looks like the door’s shut tight,” Eddie offers vaguely, rocking back and forth on his heels as you circle the hole in the ground, like seeing a new angle will change something about it.
The opening looks largely the same as the other side, in the center of the abandoned trailer park with the forest surrounding. Your arms are covered in goosebumps as the breeze hits harder in the open field, no longer buffered by trees on all sides. On the bright side, it is slightly better lit here and you can see your companion a bit clearer now.
“Do you know how these things work? Like how and why it opens and shuts?” You ask desperately, looking at him from the other side of the crevice.
The corner of his mouth tilts up minutely, his shoulders shrugging. “Yes and no.”
The scowl returns to your face, frustration mounting as another shiver of cold racks your body. “Are you intentionally being unhelpful? Or are you just an idiot?”
His lips part in a surprised ‘o’, his eyebrows raising like he’s impressed. “That hurts, angel. I’m no idiot, and I think I’ve been plenty helpful. After all… I could’ve just left you to drown out there. Or maybe led you into a trap. Or left you for the dogs.” He taunts, returning to a toothy grin. The question of if he has your well being in mind gets more and more clear with a resounding no.
A fearful jolt runs down your spine as you stare him down, trying not to let your fear show. Grappling tightly to your anger, you taunt back, “Oh yeah? Then why didn’t you?”
A blink and he’s gone.
Your entire body goes on alert, tensing for attack as your heart starts to pound against your ribs. Eyes searching the immediate area in front of you come up empty. He’s either behind you or far enough you can’t see him in the low light. You never got an answer as to whether he’s moving quickly or teleporting or exactly how far he can get in the time you blinked.
He’s either long gone or… Trying to surprise you.
As soon as you have the thought, the hair on the back of your neck stands up – like some kind of unconscious sense of danger.
You turn in a quick 180 and he’s right there. Only a foot away from you with a sadistic sort of smile on his face. Your breath catches in your chest as it feels like a fist grabs tightly to your heart, suddenly much more terrified of the man in front of you.
That appears to be the way he prefers it.
“I think we can help each other.”
You blink at him, muscles pulled taut and ready to bolt as you try to figure out what the fuck he’s doing and what the fuck he wants. “What?” You question, your voice coming out a bit breathy and scared.
“I said, I think we can help each other,” he repeats calmly. “You help me, and I can help you get back home.”
“Why– What– H–how could I possibly help you?” You sputter, trying not to sound as terrified and confused as you feel.
His grin turns cheeky again, slightly less unsettling than it was a moment ago. “It won’t take much, angel, scout’s honor.” He says as he lays a hand over his chest. “You help me, then you’re free to crawl right back over to the other side and continue your life.”
Disbelief and uncertainty nags at you as you fidget in your spot, wanting desperately to put some more distance between the two of you but nervous to offend him. “So you can open the gate? You just want something in return?”
He shakes his head emphatically, appearing to be genuine in his denial. “I can’t but I know who can. They opened it before you were brought over.”
“And they would open it again? Just because you asked?” You question suspiciously, studying his facial expression for a sign that he’s pulling your leg again.
“Let’s just say that me and them have similar goals and leave it at that.”
There are 100 more questions on the tip of your tongue, but with the potential of getting back to your own dimension on the table, you’re reluctant to press too hard. He seems to recognize the battle you’re fighting with yourself as he laughs to himself. “You know what they say about curiosity, angel.”
An annoyed exhale punches out of your nose. “And I assume in this case that I’m the cat.”
“Bingo!” He says happily, tapping the end of his nose with his index finger. “So what do you say?”
There is so much you want to say. So many questions you want to ask. So much more info you need. But beggars can’t be choosers, you suppose.
“What would I need to do?”
His smile goes sharp again. “So glad you asked. I’d just need a kiss.”
A beat of silence. Then your expression drops in disbelief and disappointment. “Please tell me you’re joking.”
“Dead serious,” he insists, laying his hand on his chest again as he regards you intently. “And it’s gotta be real – gotta kiss me like you mean it. None of those little pecks you give on the cheek.”
A strange swirl of intrigue and revulsion mixes together in your gut as you continue waiting for the punchline. The ‘just kidding, your face was priceless’. But it doesn’t come.
“Is this some kind of sick joke? Been so lonely out here that you have to twist the arm of a desperate girl just to get some–”
“Hey.” He interrupts, his tone intense and cold. It shuts you up immediately, though you can’t say why. “Don’t be mean, angel. This isn’t just me trying to take advantage of you. It has a real purpose.”
The dubious look you give him makes him crack another small smile. “Cross my heart and hope to die, I’m telling you the truth.”
“And am I allowed to know what this purpose is?”
He shakes his head again, displacing the curls draped over his shoulders that still appear to have not dried at all. “I’ll tell you when it’s done, how about that?” He offers, using your curiosity against you to try to sweeten the deal.
Really, it’s a no brainer. Sure, he’s a strange person that lives in an alternate dimension that has some strange abilities. Sure, you know next to nothing about him despite that itch in the back of your head telling you that you know him somehow. And sure, this could be a huge mistake. But having to kiss this admittedly-attractive dude just to get out of this nightmare dimension and get back home? The choice is simple.
Which only makes you more certain there’s a catch you aren’t seeing.
“Fine. If you swear I’ll be able to go home, then I’ll do it.”
His expression brightens excitedly, a sort of childlike joy appearing on his face. It’s different from any of the expressions you’ve seen on him so far – like genuine surprise. “You will?”
“Yeah, sure.” You reply, trying to brush it off as nothing. “Not like I have a lot of other options here.”
His excitement fades slightly, though he still looks pleased with the outcome. “Glad you made the right decision.”
An unsettling silence falls as the two of you study each other once more, now much closer than the last time. Fear and anticipation builds steadily as you find yourself glancing down at his lips – realizing you’re about to know what they feel like on your own.
“Do we, uh,” you pause to clear your throat as you awkwardly break the silence. “Do we do it now? Or… What?”
He takes a step closer, entering your personal space. His voice is lower, stickier, and richer when he responds. “Do you wanna do it now, angel?”
You suddenly feel like a fly stuck in a honey trap – eyes widening as you struggle between wanting to further close the distance and to run away from him. “Now’s as good a time as any, I suppose?” Though you meant it to be nonchalant, it comes out as a nervous question.
The uncertainty in your voice only seems to make the man crack another amused smile. “I suppose so,” he replies softly, gently teasing you as he gets even just a little bit closer. You can feel your heart pounding in your neck, constantly flipping back and forth between fear, interest, nerves, and embarrassment. Looking at you through slightly lowered eyelids, he leans in toward you. Close enough you can feel the exhale of his breath on your face.
“Kiss me like you mean it, angel.” He reminds you quietly, the tip of his nose nudging against yours as your eyelids flutter closed instinctively. “Don’t forget.”
Then his lips are pressing to yours. You make a small noise of surprise, both in that you weren’t sure if he was actually going to do it and because he’s so cold. But his lips are plush and soft as he places your lower lip between his own. As promised, you kiss him back, trying not to think about how strange it feels that he’s cold and the situation you’re in – focusing on the gentle pressure of him as he steps even closer and brings his hand up to cradle your jaw.
It’s gentle and sweet as you find yourself starting to forget the reality of it all. Your hands find the edges of his leather jacket, tugging him closer as he hums happily. His other hand finds your waist – cold through the thin fabric of your tank top.
Teeth nip lightly at your lower lip and you make another small noise of surprise, a flash of heat through your chest at the pleasant feeling. It distracts you further – not even questioning the adventurous flick of his tongue against your mouth. You part your lips on instinct; his hand flexing happily against your jaw as he tests the waters to run his tongue along yours.
You return the gesture, encouraging the touch as you breathe heavily through your nose. You’re running low on air and will need to part to breathe soon. You’re surprised to find that you aren’t really sure that you want to stop to do so.
He seems to recognize the impending need too; his lips pressing against yours more insistently, like he’s getting what he can before it ends. His tongue ventures past your lips one more time, pressing further than he had before. Is… Is his tongue longer than normal?
In the same moment that he pulls away from you, the hand on your jaw claps over your mouth to keep it shut. And there’s something in your mouth.
There’s something moving in your mouth.
You make a high pitched noise of panic as your eyes double in size, looking at him in terror while he holds you tightly to his front and keeps his hand firmly over your mouth. “Ah, ah, angel. You gotta swallow it.” He coos, his palm clammy and cold against your slick lips.
You shake your head as well as you can with his grip, making noises of protest as you struggle to keep the smooth, wiggling object from sliding down your throat. Your hands grab at his wrist and forearm, trying to pull him off, but his grip is too strong. Begging him with your eyes, sharp and stuttered breaths coming out of your nose as you hyperventilate, he just gives you a sad smile. “It’s not that bad, I promise. Just gotta swallow and it’ll be over – don’t make me plug your nose.”
Painful tears poke out of your eyes and start to descend down your cheeks, nails digging into his skin to try and get him off. It seems not to affect him at all, his other hand giving your waist a reassuring squeeze. “It’s okay, baby. It’s gonna be okay. This is it – you won’t have to do anything else. Come on, angel. You can do it. Just swallow for me.”
His words of encouragement make your head spin in confusion, panic mounting as the outcome seems inevitable. More tears pour down your cheeks as you choke on a sob, inadvertently allowing the object to slide down your throat. 
“There we go,” he sighs in relief, grip on your face loosening, “Good girl.”
Somehow he knew that you’d swallowed it because he releases you right as you start to cough roughly, stumbling away from him and bending forward. You can still feel the strange coating from the creature on your tongue and down your esophagus – thick and wrong as you cough and gag.
Get it out, get it out, get it out, GET IT OUT, GET IT OUT!!
“What was– How do I– I’ve gotta–” You stammer, stumbling over your words as you tremble wildly and gag, your body responding to your panic by wanting to reject the new contents of your stomach.
He appears right beside you again, gripping both of your wrists with his hands as he forces you upright. “Don’t throw it up.” His voice is a command, his expression intense. “If you throw it up, I’ll have to force feed you another one. And trust me, it’s way less fun the 2nd time.”
Tears continue to pour from your eyes as you rapidly shake your head. “What was– What is– Why are you doing this? What was that thing?”
“Calm down, angel, please calm down,” he begs, starting to look distressed himself. “It’s gonna be okay, I swear, it’s gonna be fine. You’re a part of something bigger now. It’s all going to be okay.”
You try to pull out of his grip on your wrists, alternating between yanking back and rushing forward to push him away. “What the fuck does that mean?! What have you done to me?!” You shout through your tears, white hot panic spreading through your body. “It’s not too late – I can still, I can still throw it up, I can…”
He drags you in, wrapping you up in a tight bear hug with your arms trapped between the two of you. He shushes you, standing steady against your weakening struggling against him. “Shhh, shh, it’s alright, angel. It’s okay. You’re gonna get to go home, okay? We’re gonna get to go home.”
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“Sir, we’ve got activity.”
Dr. Pierce pushes out of his desk chair fast enough to make his head spin – lack of sleep and too much coffee weakening him beyond measure. He’s barely left the main building since you went missing.
Since you were dragged through.
There have been constant patrols of the fault line you disappeared into, hoping for any sign of it waking up again. It was on his order and against the wishes of General Highland. She’s a level 1 researcher. She knew the risks. It’s not worth the cost.
But you didn’t know the risks, not really. Pierce knows he didn’t do enough to prepare you, to warn you. He didn’t do enough to protect you.
This is his fault.
He’s not the only one buzzing with anticipation as he exits his darkened office; several other scientists and field agents are reacting to the news of activity with a rush. Not everyone will be allowed to go to the site, as it would be a madhouse, but several live cameras and other surveillance equipment have been set up in the area. At least a quarter of the bureau across the country will be intently watching whatever happens next.
Pierce says nothing as he makes his way for the garage and the people he passes know better than to approach him now. He can still feel their eyes – judgemental, curious, concerned. He’s felt their eyes for days.
There are several SUVs already prepared by the time he arrives, most already full of people who were approved to be on site in the case of reactivation. He recognizes the soldier standing by waiting for him as Private Steve Harrington, the same man who brought in the recorder originally. He’s one of the few people at the bureau with prior knowledge of the other dimension despite his low rank.
“Sir,” he greets with a respectful head dip, opening the backdoor of the SUV for Pierce as he approaches. Pierce returns the gesture before climbing into the backseat, sliding across the bench to the opposite side. Steve gets in after him, his bulky gear forcing him to sit far forward on the bucket seat as he slams the door closed behind him.
It only takes another minute or so before the caravan lurches and begins to move, following after the identical black SUV in front of it.
The walkie-talkie on Steve’s shoulder kicks to life quietly, a short and concise signal coming through that Pierce doesn’t understand. The exhausted scientist looks over curiously as Steve murmurs an, “Affirmative,” into the device before clicking it off.
“Any news from the fault?”
Steve glances over, surprised to be addressed, before he turns back to look out the front windshield. “Nothing yet, sir.”
Pierce keeps an eye on the soldier as they travel – watching with intrigue as the man continuously searches the vehicle’s surroundings, like he’s expecting an attack.
“You seem on edge, Steve.” He straightens in response, looking even more uncomfortable at being referred to by his first name. “Is it because the gate is active?”
A muscle in his jaw rolling with tension, Steve keeps his gaze firmly forward as he responds. “It doesn’t supply a good feeling, that’s for sure.”
“And yet you still volunteered for the theoretical strike team to go through?” Pierce wonders aloud, phrasing it like a question.
There’s a tense moment of silence before the private answers. “At least I already know what to expect on the other side.”
The two don’t interact again for the reminder of the drive.
The SUVs all pull into the vacant field beside the field tent in a line, the leader of the patrol team coming out to meet the first vehicle. Pierce watches General Highland step out of it and start to converse with the uniformed woman. By the time he makes it way over, he seems to be catching the tail end of the conversation.
“We have each unit spread out in even intervals along the fault; so far there has been no change since it first activated.”
“And they all have their protective equipment on, I presume?” Dr. Pierce cuts in, surprising the patrol leader and earning an annoyed look from General Highland.
“Yes sir,” she responds with a head nod. “I was just telling the general that they’re all outfitted with gear to protect them from the worst of the radiation, but it would still do good to regularly swap out the unit in the center, where the worst of it is.”
Pierce agrees with a stiff nod, not waiting to hear the general disagree before he turns to look back. As he expected, Private Harrington trailed him over, waiting a respectful distance away as to not eavesdrop. “Harrington.”
Steve turns at the call, jogging over to Pierce. “Sir.”
“Suit up. You’re coming with me to the source.”
“Yes sir.”
The pair of them push into the field tent, currently staffed with 15 more people than usual. There are researchers and scientists bent over displays and documenting readings, soldiers standing by with weapons, field agents watching over the researchers shoulders. Pierce walks past all of them, parting the way as he does, and starts to strip off his lab coat while pulling a radiation suit off the rack. Steve follows suit, removing a majority of his gear to reequip on top of the plastic suit.
The buzz of excited chatter is nearly grating on Pierce’s ears as he goes through the annoying process of putting on the PPE. But he misses it when it suddenly cuts off, directly after one of the researchers announces, “We’ve got a spike in activity!”
Pierce looks over at Steve, who is still clipping things to his belt again. “We’ve gotta move.”
“Yes sir,” Steve repeats once more, gathering the bare necessities in his arms to try to equip as they move. The pair of them push out the other side of the tent and set into a jog towards what used to be Forest Hills Trailer Park.
They pass a few pairs of outfitted people as they move – soldiers patrolling and scientists maintaining the monitoring equipment placed along the fault. None of them interact as the pair jogs past, heading for the end of the fault line. They can see a small group ahead – presumably gathered closer to where the spike in activity happened.
“Make some room!” Steve barks out as they approach, the gathered group moving further away from the fault line in response. Some look back to see who is coming while others keep their eyes locked on the glowing source beyond.
“Keep at least 10 feet back from the fault at all times,” Pierce orders the group as they pass. “Stay in pairs, don’t go off on your own. We have very little idea what we’re dealing with here, but we have reason to believe there are things that will try to drag you through the gate. If something comes out, fall back and call out. Don’t let your partner get grabbed.”
There is some murmuring in response, but no one openly disregards the order, starting to pair off as a few people move further back along the fault line. Pierce approaches a pair hunched over a meter near the source, keeping his eyes on the glowing red below. “What are we looking at?”
“It’s fluctuating slightly; was 116 mv/m at 31016 Hz at peak.” The researcher responds, keeping a close eye on the EMF before them. “Nothing close to the reported 189 mv/m. We might not be looking at full activation. Or maybe it’s building up, it’s hard to say.”
“Wait,” Steve cuts in, holding a hand out for the researcher to pause. “Do you hear that?”
They all fall silent, listening closely.
Then Pierce hears it – the hum from the recording. The one you were talking about hearing.
The scientist gives him a nod of agreement before looking back to the researcher. “Any sign of movement from the other side?”
“Not that we can tell from here,” the field agent answers for them. “We’ve been following the guidelines to stay back so it’s hard to catch anything from here.”
“Radio? Portable EMF?” Dr. Pierce asks, and the field agent presents both. He takes them and then looks back at Steve. “We’re moving up.”
Even behind the protection of the face shield, Pierce can see the tension in his expression. Regardless, the private still answers with a confident, “Yes sir.”
Keeping the meter within eyesight, the two push ahead, closer to the large opening at the source. Pierce watches it tick up with each step closer, crossing the 150 mark as they get within 5 feet of the edge. Looking out across the opening, the glowing membrane pulses and hums with energy, louder and louder as they approach.
There’s very little movement on the other side, but every once in a while Pierce catches a glimpse of a dark shadow moving beyond.
“Never gets any less unsettling to look at,” Steve murmurs beside him, shifting his weight between his feet as he keeps his eyes locked on the unbroken membrane.
“Dr. Pierce, we’ve got another spike!” The researcher calls from behind, voice sounding a bit concerned. “We’re edging 170 now.”
The humming increases steadily along with a slight vibration in the ground beneath their feet. Steve steps up beside Pierce, a hand out like he’s ready to drag him back from the edge, as Pierce stares into the membrane intensely.
Come on. Come on. Come back through. Just be alive. Come on. Please be alive.
A more defined shadow moves along the edge closest to the trailer and doesn’t pull back. “We’ve got movement!” Steve calls back, alerting the nearby units as Pierce’s hand flies out to hush him. They both watch with a certain level of horrified fascination as the shadow grows defined enough to make that section of the membrane appear black before it begins to tear.
A bare hand extends out of the membrane, blindly grasping for the nearby edge. Steve twitches forward, like he wants to go and help them, but Pierce holds him back wordlessly, leaving them both standing perfectly still as another hand appears and grabs onto the edge.
The person uses the grip on the edge to pull themselves through – a woman in a filthy tank top and jeans struggling to pull herself onto the flat ground. As soon as she is through, she quickly turns around on her knees and reaches back through the membrane.
You’re… You’re actually alive.
Several soldiers approach slowly with their rifles out, aiming at you as you take hold of someone else’s hand and start to pull them through. A pale man with long, messy hair appears from the other side, holding on tightly to you as you help him reorient to the change in perspective. “No way…” Steve whispers, standing frozen as he watches them start to sit up and look around.
“Dr. Pierce!” You call happily once you spot him, waving at him like you’re excited to see him. There’s a huge smile on your face, a stark contrast to your utterly disheveled appearance. “I made it! I’m back!”
The soldiers continue to keep their weapons trained on the newcomers, watching for some sign of aggression. You slowly get to your feet, offering your hand to your companion and helping him up too. Steve takes a few mindless steps towards them, Dr. Pierce no longer stopping him. “Eddie?” He calls uncertainly, like he can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Eddie, is that you?”
The man’s head perks up, looking in Steve’s direction. “Harrington?” He replies, sounding just as uncertain and confused. “Is that you in there?”
“Eddie, as in Eddie Munson?” Dr. Pierce asks Steve, still unmoving as he stares at you, seemingly unharmed.
“Yeah…” Steve breathes out, still looking stunned. “And he doesn’t look like he’s aged a day.”
You and Eddie start to walk over when a soldier barks at you to stay back, both of you nervously putting your hands up as you look between the armed soldiers, Steve, and Pierce.
“It’s me, Dr. Pierce. It’s really me.” You insist, looking at him pleadingly. “And this is Eddie, he helped me find my way back. He saved me.” You add, motioning to the man beside you. The two of you are close together; you stand slightly in front of Eddie, like you’re protecting him. Eddie just offers a sheepish smile and a shrug, like it was no big deal.
“Sir? What do we do?” One of the soldiers asks, glancing in Dr. Pierce’s direction.
The two of you look exhausted, dirty, hungry, but… Harmless. No worse for wear despite the time spent on the other side.
“Bring them in.” Pierce orders. “No excessive force. They’ve been through a lot.”
The soldiers nod, lowering their weapons and urging you both to come forward. You look particularly relieved, while Eddie appears mostly unphased by all of it.
“Thank god, I need a shower so badly.” You announce with a happy laugh, walking toward them as you shake your head and make a disgusted face. “No one smell me, I’m begging you.”
If anyone finds your behavior unsettling or strange, they don’t say so. Everyone mostly looks relieved it didn’t turn into some kind of fight. While there is something off about how you’re acting, Dr. Pierce can’t find it in himself to feel anything besides relief at your return.
Steve stands motionless and tense as Eddie approaches, looking every bit like he’s seen a ghost. There is no excitement, no relief, no… Trust. Like this is all a bad dream and he just wants to wake up.
Just before you and Eddie pass the two of them, you flash another excited smile. “And not a moment too soon – I’m so thirsty.” You look over at Eddie, who nods in agreement, before you continue walking toward the field tent in the distance, flanked on either side by armed soldiers.
Eddie stops by Steve, giving him a tilted smile. “Hey Harrington, didn’t expect to see you here.”
“I could say the same to you,” Steve replies, his tone apprehensive and flat. If Eddie catches on, he doesn’t show it, just continuing to show that same smile – like he knows something you don’t.
“What can I say?” He offers with a shrug and a wink before he continues to trail after you and toward the growing crowd beyond. “It’s good to be back.”
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thanks for reading, please let me know if you liked it!!
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gaypleasantview · 26 days ago
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⋆˖⁺‧₊☆ shake the disease. // Autumn Drop Day 5 ☆₊‧⁺˖⋆
⋆ 2 mesh add-ons for Ladysimplayer8's 4t2 City Living Keyboard
⋆ floor version (60 poly) and wall version (68 poly), originally created by PixlMonster
⋆ 43 recolors in 512x512 textures
⋆ all files have been compressed and clearly labeled
Link, swatch, detailed credits and more info under the cut ♡
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Hi people! Welcome to yet another thing I've made, and this one was a real pain in the ass sometimes but also an actually fun and rewarding experience! Just like my last upload, this one was inspired by @gothoffspring's very pretty pictures. I wanted to have whatever they're having, and it caused me to get into the intricacies of repositorying stuff, and damn was it hard, but it was all worth it in the end! The last few times I checked, this thing worked with absolutely no problems, but please do let me know if it starts pulling shit again.
Okay, let's get to the details now. I clearly got intrigued by the keyboard, and thanks to the absolutely priceless 4t2 conversion database, I found out that it has already been converted by Ladysimplayer8 on MTS, as was tons of other 4t2 stuff. It's a fully functional keyboard, too! To be honest, I first edited the mesh a bit to fit my preferred game style (separated the recolors + added a shadow), but the first time I thought to check the original creator's TOU was literally just now, and I realized too late they don't allow their meshes to be edited and posted, so I'll have to keep it to myself. However, all the other stuff I did was actually converted directly from TS4, so of course I'm sharing it!
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The wall and floor add-ons are purely decorative, having been cloned from wall objects, but I find them to be super cute. You can find them in Hobbies.../Creative right next to the actual thing. They share the original's room rating and cost a little less, but still a reasonable amount of §700 because it is a keyboard, dammit.
As both of the add-ons are repositoried to the original, they will share whatever recolors the playable keyboard has. I decided to recolor them in options by gothoffspring and MsFrankenstein because they were all very pretty. I tried to clearly label every swatch but sometimes it's brain breaking (some of them turned out to look a little different in-game, too) so I sincerely hope the names all make sense!
Credits: base object by Ladysimplayer8 on MTS, mesh add-ons by @pixlmonster, recolors by @gothoffspring and @msfrankenstein910, this source for the graphics in the post
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♡ Download ♡
As per creator's TOU, mesh (LSP8DigiRADKeyboardMesh) is not included, you will have to get it here. The add-ons won't work without it.
SFS | Mediafire
♡ Swatch ♡
⋆ 19 recolors by gothoffspring (original)
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⋆ 24 recolors by MsFrankenstein910 (original)
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Note
Hello, you’ve asked to send in the prompt when full hc are open so messaging as a reminder
‘M6 reaction to an Mc who has experienced abuse before
Showing signs like flinching or unexplained irritability, anxiety ‘
The Arcana HCs: M6 when MC is recovering from abuse
~ thank you for the reminder anon friend! and my own reminder to whoever's reading this, nobody deserves to be broken like this. there is better, and you deserve better. ~
CW for references to memories of verbal, emotional, and physical abuse, (yelling, vague violence, control, emotional manipulation) and to nontoxic behavior triggering those memories unintentionally
Julian
In all the craziness of your whirlwind romance, you two never really got to talk about your own poor relationship experiences
It just didn't come up, and then life was golden, so golden that there wasn't a point to remembering all that pain and and fear
Until he made you flinch
Completely, entirely on accident, of course, but the full-body wince and the wash of fear across your face was enough to make his heart leap into his throat. What happened, what - why?
He's a flamboyant man. He likes large, theatrical gestures, and as entertaining as they're meant to be, sometimes the sight of an outstretched hand hurtling through the air is anything but
And now he's shaking with a combination of overwhelming guilt and white-hot rage. It gnaws at his bones and boils in his veins, pushing him to make things okay and asking if he has the right to
He's immediately switching to a quiet, shaky voice, asking you first to forgive him for scaring you, and then asking if you'd be willing to tell him more about it between apologies
You know your doctor would never willingly hurt you, and you know this is something you can trust him with, but you don't expect how angry he is. He'll rave about how wrong it was if you let him
He does his best to tone down the gestures, and is always, always ready to remind you how cherished you deserve to be
Asra
They already knew about the past before you two began your relationship - there's a reason you haven't seen or heard a single thing about the source of your pain since you came back
And as long as he was your caretaker, and then your friend, you never had cause to worry because of him. But then things became romantic, and well - some things were easier to deal with before
You love their spontaneity and daydreamy presence, but that level of unpredictability is difficult to interpret when the object of your affections regularly forgets to communicate
Are they just that deeply lost in thought, daydreaming for hours on end, or are they studiously ignoring your attempts to connect?
Is this really a sudden "just because I love you" show of affection, or is it time to brace yourself for some awful things to come?
You know with a heart like his beating steadily in your chest, there's no real doubt when it comes to how deeply and faithfully and purely he loves you. All it takes is a flick of magic to remember
But you also know how terrifying unpredictability can be, and you find yourself on occasion slipping into a fawning state out of habit
They catch on almost immediately, hating the way you suddenly seem to be tiptoeing around them, and push past their nature to bring it out into the open so they can reassure you
So happy to adjust it's hard to believe you were ever nervous
Nadia
She picked up on several signals as she was courting you, and while she didn't want to make you uncomfortable, she didn't hesitate to bring them up. Tell her as much as you're willing to
Of course, her first response was to lay out her own intentions and expectations regarding the relationship she wanted to build with you. She wants you to keep her accountable to giving you the best
It really has felt like a thing of the past ever since, with one exception that you really don't know how to bring up
Your beloved Countess has a very commanding presence. It's one of the many things you adore about her, but on occasion, it has the unintended effect of making you feel stifled - controlled
Announcing a dinner that night which you hadn't been aware of. Selecting your outfits for you. Making a strong opinion known before asking for your perspective, challenging you to disagree
Things that you know come from a place of love and respect, but that remind you a bit too much of a time when there was neither
She picks up on it more slowly than she would've liked to, the way you seem to shrink just a little bit smaller when she tries to help
To her, you're a capable, intelligent, strong person, and the thought hadn't occurred that you might prefer your choices be protected, even from herself. She's humbled. And she loves you
Makes extra sure to make space for you, all of you, every moment
Muriel
For such a large man, he moves unexpectedly quietly
Here are the other things he does quietly: thinking, eating, breathing, resting, working, sleeping ... everything ...
And sometimes, all that quiet starts to feel less like you're around an introverted gentle giant, and more like the silent treatment
Which means you must have done something wrong
But you don't know what you did wrong, and when you live with someone as extremely conflict averse as Muriel, you know that getting him to tell you what you did wrong is very hard to do
And so the anxiety spiral begins, attempting to fix a habit or adjust a behavior, only for the silence to stretch on, and on, and on ...
Muriel, on the other hand, knows that something is bothering you but isn't sure what it is. It was easy to pick up during your time together that your life hadn't been all sunshine and rainbows either
But he's not one to pry, or to do anything that might trigger you, and knowing how much space to himself helps him sort things out, he makes sure to give you as much of that as possible
He doesn't realize that it's not what you need until you approach him one day, clearly distressed, and worriedly ask what you've done wrong. You haven't done anything wrong
He's still quiet, but he's picked up a habit of humming now, so that even in the quiet moments aren't completely silent
Portia
It wasn't hard for her to tell that you weren't used to the type of romantic relationship that made your life better and not worse. Curiosity aside, she wants to know so she understand you better
She wants this opportunity to show you the excitement and healing of finally finding your partner-in-crime. And she does!
This woman is nothing if not passionate
Why hide your emotions when they make you stronger? Why hold back? Why suppress yourself when there's so much color and life and excitement in this world?
There's just ... one tiny issue
Her unbridled emotional intensity is one of her strongest assets and one of the things that gives you the strength and courage to push through the darkest moments
However, it does at times remind you of a much less controlled and safe intensity that was often directed straight at you, designed more to frighten you than to communicate with you
Sudden excited tackle-hugs feel a bit too much like being grabbed and pinned. Vocal expressions of anger at another person's poor behavior feel like a lead up to being blamed for it somehow
Being as empathetic as she is, Portia picks up on this almost instantly and barely needs to be told what you need to feel safe
Besides, she can always go rant at her unsuspecting brother
Lucio
There are some things that this delightful work in progress of a man won't notice until he gets hit in the face with them
Examples include things like "if the usual opinion around making deals with demons is negative, it's probably for a good reason" or "oopsies have consequences, sometimes"
There's no doubt that he loves you and that he's wholeheartedly committed to protecting you. These are things that he's loud and proud about reminding you. Emphasis on loud. He likes to yell!
Whether to emphasize a point or to express an emotion, or just because he's in the woods/at a party/going shopping and that's what you do when you're in that space, his default volume is 95%
And as much as you know the volume is exactly that - a default - it too often feels like a warning instead. Like someone wants nothing in your ears except what they have to say to you
Lucio doesn't realize the effect he's having until he starts to feel unheard, ironically enough. It's like you don't talk back to him anymore, like he's back in that twilight zone of being unheard
When he tells you his stories, you don't interject, you don't add your own embellishments, you don't seem caught up in it
It's his question, "why won't you talk to me?", that has everything tumbling out into the open. He's furious that you got so much less than you deserved, and hurt that he hurt you
... Would you like to yell with him, next time?
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astrojulia · 1 year ago
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Astro Observations from the Deep Sea #2
~Aries houses edition
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Navigation:   Masterlist✦Ask Rules✦Feedback Tips
       Askbox✦Sources✦Paid Readings
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♂⟶ Sometimes communication with relatives and neighbors can be challenging to 3rd house Aries, and it's important to keep everyone in the loop, especially if their interests are involved.
♂⟶ 8th house Aries have a strong and resilient spirit that has helped they overcome difficult times, they are determined to succeed and have a deep drive to win.
♂⟶ 9th house Aries hold their philosophical and religious beliefs with conviction, but they are open to hearing different perspectives and engaging in discussions with those who have opposing views.
♂⟶ The 8th house is a house that speaks of difficulties we go through, 8th house Aries difficulties can involve been bullied and mistreated by others and these traumatic events have left them feeling powerless and overwhelmed, causing them to act out in destructive ways.
♂⟶ Aries Rising may tend to view things subjectively from a self-centered perspective, they also maintain objectivity in their perception of things and give factual weight to them.
♂⟶ 6th house Aries generally very healthy and resilient, having a lot of energy and a strong body but they realize that they are sick when their body is already screaming, it's important to listen to your body's needs and avoid pushing yourself too hard since sometimes you are more focused in a mental schedule for your health them your body needs.
♂⟶ Aries Rising don’t wait for opportunities to come to them, acting a lot like “you already have the no” in other words, if you don’t try it's obvious that what you want won't work, but if you try, maybe you will.
♂⟶ Many individuals will be drawn to 5th house Aries because of their strong physical appearance and powerful physical appeal.
♂⟶ 12th house Aries believe in the power of new ideas to challenge and improve the world, but they also understand the potential for resistance and conflict, so they’re the first to see revolutionary acts, because there is always rebellion and dissatisfaction beforehand.
♂⟶ 9th house Aries have a natural curiosity and prefer to learn through hands-on experiences rather than traditional academic settings.
♂⟶ 7th house Aries are drawn to partners with a bold, go-getter attitude, finding attractive when your partner can pursue their desires with ease - especially when it comes to pursuing them.
♂⟶ 2nd house Aries, with the right mindset and a bit of careful planning, can achieve their goals while maintaining a healthy relationship with money like a truck.
♂⟶ 3rd house Aries are not always focused on execution, but rather on the big picture and the possibilities.
♂⟶ 8th house Aries have a strong will and inner strength, with them they have the potential to achieve great things and create a fulfilling life for themself and others.
♂⟶ Aries Rising has a great desire for fame in their lifes and maybe even being one of the best Risings to deal with it because reality is one, fame is lonely, a loneliness that this placement can handle.
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♂⟶ 5th house Aries creativity is a major strength, allowing them to live in the present moment.
♂⟶ Aries Rising vitality and character allow them to succeed through their own efforts.
♂⟶ Sometimes when things don't go as planned, it can be frustrating and stressful for 6th house Aries. Just remember to take a deep breath and approach challenges with a positive attitude.
♂⟶ It's important to 2nd house Aries strike a balance between their desire for financial security and their impulsive tendencies.
♂⟶ 3rd house Aries passion for building and design may lead them to pursue degrees in engineering or architecture.
♂⟶ Independence and freedom are extremely important to 2nd house Aries and their see these characteristcs as valuable in their friendships, relationships and work (to be honest, in their life as a whole).
♂⟶ 6th house Aries natural drive and determination will help them succeed in whatever they put theit mind to.
♂⟶ 5th house Aries enjoy discovering new games and taking on innovative tasks, often take the initiative to try them out on their own and something feeling lonely when the subjects are their hobbies.
♂⟶ While 2nd house Aries may make impulsive purchases, you also have a strong drive to reach financial security and are quite aggressive in your pursuit of it.
♂⟶ Some of the reasons that Aries Risings can be famous are for their ambition, courage, initiative, creativitu, audacity, drive… characteristics that if you think of someone you have as an inspiration in life, that person has.
♂⟶ 7th house Aries values their own independence and appreciate a partner who's self-reliant and active so both can do their own activies without being jealous.
♂⟶ 3rd house Aries don't like to rely on others to do their thinking for t,hem and they’re always eager to learn something new. However, they may find it difficult to commit to something long enough to truly master it.
♂⟶ As someone who is attuned to the dynamics of groups, 11th house Aries are quick to notice and address any negative behavior, such as dishonesty or insincerity.
♂⟶ 2nd house Aries might find that their thrive in fields related to construction, mechanical design, or architecture, as these industries can help you build a strong financial foundation. But professions such as police work, military service, firefighting, manufacturing,knit and crochet can be especially lucrative for you, as you have a strong desire to make money and are confident in your ability to do so.
♂⟶ As 4th house Aries get older, they might even start to feel more youthful, active, and playful.
♂⟶ While disagreements among younger family members may be common, 4th house Aries are often the one who coordinates family activities and assigns tasks as needed.
♂⟶ 10th house Aries drive and passion make you well-suited for careers in fields such as law enforcement, military, medicine, construction, and design.
♂⟶ 4th house Aries has difficulty to be open to compromise and listening to their family's needs and desires, thinking they know what's best for their family without consulting them and being authoritative in the family environment. It's important to remember to keep an open mind and be respectful of their opinions.
♂⟶ 6th house Aries brings a lot of enthusiasm and dedication to their daily routine, being able to infect others with this energy, as well as irritating those who are not very keen.
♂⟶ 4th house Aries have a lot of energy and stamina to manage their family and household responsibilities, making likely to take on a leadership role in family matters.
♂⟶ 7th house Aries can get pretty hostile if they feel like they’re being trapped or held back.
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♂⟶ 9th house Aries adventurous spirit drives you to seek out unique and exciting experiences, especially in new and foreign cultures. Traveling is a passion of them, and they eagerly embrace new opportunities to explore.
♂⟶ 4th house Aries home is a hub of activity for their family, making they like indoor activies and and being very domestic people (principally combined with Capricorn Rising)
♂⟶ Aries Rising has a natural tendency to use themself as a reference point for integrating other aspects of their mind and personality. They also uses a lot of first person vision to talk about their stories and life, trying to connect with others talking about similar life experiences.
♂⟶ 8th house Aries understand the importance to be positive,kind, undertanding and constructive with themself and others so the harming cycle can end.
♂⟶ 6th house Aries are determined and hardworking person, but they don't want to risk fatigue or injury by overdoing it that’s why they take a lot of care in their health.
♂⟶ 6th house Aries are always pushing themself to get things done, which can make it hard to relax and take a break, making they even more prone to burn out.
♂⟶ 12th house Aries prefer to keep your plans private until they're ready to be shared with others.
♂⟶ When it comes to sharing their opinions and ideas, 3rd house Aries are confident and comfortable expressing themself.
♂⟶ 12th house Aries value their individuality and prefer to maintain a sense of self, even in emotionally charged situations.
♂⟶ In a relationship, 7th house Aries tend to dive in headfirst, with a passion and intensity that can be exciting, even if it sometimes leads to frequent arguments.
♂⟶ 3rd house Aries are also people who enjoys traveling, especially by car, and exploring new places or revisiting old favorites.
♂⟶ Unhapilly Aries Rising self-referencing can lead them to a belief that the universe revolves around them. However, as their notion of self evolves, the integration of their mind at its primary focal point (the self) can lead to a robust and self-aware consciousness.
♂⟶ 10th house Aries is the type of person who surprises everyone with their professional choices, especially if the native also has Cancer Rising, as everyone think that the native will choose safer careers and actually no, they choose their greatest desires and dreams for their life path.
♂⟶ When a relationship ends, 7th house Aries may struggle to come to terms with it, but it's important to focus on the positive aspects of the experience and the growth that comes from it.
♂⟶ 4th house Aries values their independence and enjoys taking initiative in their life, trying thinks that others family members never did.
♂⟶ 4th house Aries were encouraged by a strong and determined mother or primary caregiver to pursue their dreams, and this has given you a bold and outspoken personality.
♂⟶ In everyday correspondence, 3rd house Aries may be somewhat unpredictable, but they’re always ready to respond to emergencies quickly.
♂⟶ 11th house Aries courage, resourcefulness, and determination are key strengths that can help they achieve their goals and fulfill their dreams and they will fight until their last breath to reach and protect their deepest dreams.
♂⟶ While their outgoing nature can sometimes create confusion about the nature of their relationships, 11th house Aries are always willing to lend a helping hand to those they care about and value their trust and loyalty in return.
♂⟶ 4th house Aries may have ancestors who worked in military, navy, or air force.
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♂⟶ In groups that are based on hierarchy, 11th house Aries can have a strong position of power and authority.
♂⟶ While this can sometimes be challenging, 11th house Aries have the drive and stamina to effect positive change and revitalize the collective spirit of their social circles.
♂⟶ 3rd house Aries need to be patient to see their visions become reality since their mind is always conjuring up new projects.
♂⟶ To achieve their goals, it's important for 7th house Aries to embrace and assume their assertive and driven personality. They’re more passionate and impulsive they might realize, which is why they’re drawn to people who exhibit unyielding and fierce traits.
♂⟶ 5th house Aries encourage their children to make the most of life and seize every opportunity, instilling them with bravery, strength, and competitiveness since this native children are highly influenced by Mars or Aries.
♂⟶ 10th house Aries possess a natural assertiveness and a pioneering spirit, qualities that can be an asset in their pursuit of t their goals. However, it is important to remain mindful of their impulsiveness and the potential impact it can have on their reputation and relationships, that’s why it is important to take the time to plan, seek out guidance from mentors and experts, and pursue goals that are meaningful and aligned with their values.
♂⟶ In their childhood, 4th house Aries may have felt stifled or embarrassed by a particular authority figure in your household, especially masculine ones.
♂⟶ 9th house Aries value diverse perspectives and are always seeking to expand their understanding of the world.
♂⟶ Building strong and lasting friendships may be difficult to 11th house Aries native, but it can also provide support and encouragement on their journey, even if this native really wants to, their journey is not to be walked alone.
♂⟶ 4th house Aries probably love playing games that require skill and bravery.
♂⟶ 11th house Aries can be more difficult if the native is a woman than a man, since aries nature is something negative for society when it is bound in a woman, their leadership, freedom and expression will be greatly pruned.
♂⟶ As a child, 5th house Aries were highly active and athletic and that passion for movement and challenge continues into adulthood.
♂⟶ People may be hesitant to offer Aries Rising help because they appear capable of handling things on their own and even sometimes refuses the help because they can do it faster and better.
♂⟶ Aries Risings are the type of people who seeks out their life’s purpose and act like what they do in life has a bigger meaner, a bigger mission that no one else can see.
♂⟶ 3rd house Aries loves to brainstorm as this type of communication manages to keep up with their taste for new ideas and fast thinking.
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♂⟶ While 10th house Aries are ambitious and confident in their abilities, it is important to remain humble and open-minded, recognizing that there is always room for growth and learning since when this native put their mind in something they’re unlikely to hear anyone, that's great when it comes to criticism but terrible when it's words of help.
♂⟶ 12th house Aries appear reserved in group settings, but in one-on-one situations, they can be surprisingly assertive and confident
♂⟶ Aries Rising personality are characterized by zeal, self-assurance, and initiative, which makes them a true go-getter!
♂⟶ 11th house Aries have a natural ability to connect with others and form meaningful friendships, and they enjoy spending time with people who share your interests and passion for physical activities, they’re the of people who will always have someone to talk whenever they go.
♂⟶ 5th house Aries impulsiveness occasionally results in less-than-ideal outcomes, causing them to get into many embarrassing situations that must be dealt with by their creativity.
♂⟶ 4th house Aries might have also had a few accidents or mishaps around their home, so it's always good to take precautions to ensure everyone's safety.
♂⟶ As 8th house Aries continue to heal and grow, they are discovering the power of channeling their passion and assertiveness in positive ways, building deeper and more meaningful connections in their relationships.
♂⟶ Sometimes 6th house Aries to-do list can weigh heavily on your mind, making it impossible for them to relax and do something else that hasn't already crossed everything off their list.
♂⟶ 4th house Aries need to be careful not to become too controlling or domineering in their household.
♂⟶ While 10th house Aries have a desire for recognition and success, they are mindful that patience and hard work are critical to achieving long-term success.
♂⟶ 4th house Aries leads to a busy and active life, making they neglect their needs for rest and self-care too easily, it's as if the need to achieve their dreams for a better future makes them forget about the needs of the present.
♂⟶ 7th house Aries partner and close friends are a big source of inspiration for them, and they enjoy helping others find their courage and determination.
♂⟶ When it comes to romance, 5th house Aries tend to be confident and forward,often taking the lead in flirting and the pursuit of someone they are interested in can be thrilling, but they may find that once the challenge is over, the attraction fades.
♂⟶ When 2nd house Aries are invested in a project, they have a strong work ethic and are willing to put in the effort to get the job done quickly and efficiently.
♂⟶ 2nd house Aries deal with their stress by buying things.
♂⟶ 12th house Aries prefer to focus on building positive relationships with others than getting into discussions and debates, leaving their sincere opinion aside for the group wellbeing. They prioritize non-violent means of advocating for change and seek to avoid causing harm or pain to others.
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♂⟶ Combining travel with business is particularly appealing to 3rd house Aries.
♂⟶ 5th house Aries have a busy social life and a strong desire to enjoy life's finer things. They also may have a competitive streak when it comes to spending time with family and friends, engaging in playful games and roughhousing.
♂⟶ 12th house Aries recognize that competitiveness can sometimes lead to tension and animosity, and they strive to avoid coming across as arrogant or pretentious.
♂⟶ 12th house Aries are highly empathetic, and while this can be an asset, it can also be overwhelming. Taking time to recharge and find inner balance is important to them.
♂⟶ Aries rising may pass as egotistical in their worst, and a strong sense of their self and their desires at their best.
♂⟶ Theirs positive outlook and determination make 9th house Aries believe that they can achieve anything they set your mind to.
♂⟶ 9th house Aries are independent and self-sufficient, which has given them a strong sense of direction and the drive to pursue their goals, they approach challenges with a warrior mentality, ready to overcome any obstacle in their path.
♂⟶ 8th house Aries actively works on healing and finding healthier ways to express their emotions.
♂⟶ When 12th house Aries are comfortable, they’re able to handle difficult situations with ease.
♂⟶ Aries Rising are quite willing to compromise in their relationships and care deeply for those they are close to.
♂⟶ 11th house Aries thrive in group settings and enjoy socializing with others, though they may find that some friendships lack depth and don't last long.
♂⟶ It's no surprise that Aries Rising likely had the role of the 'independent' child early on in their childhood, which has carried over into their adult life.
♂⟶ 7th house Aries interactions can sometimes be characterized by disagreements or competitions, but ultimately, these dynamics are meant to bring out their inner warrior.
♂⟶ 10th house Aries possess a strong drive and a go-getter attitude that has propelled them towards great accomplishments, they enjoy exploring new opportunities and experiences, seeking challenges that will push them out of their comfort zone.
♂⟶ 2nd house Aries financial situation is tied to their self-esteem, and achieving financial success can make they feel even better about themself.
♂⟶ 4th house Aries may find rest anywhere that's not their house.
(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved
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sgiandubh · 1 month ago
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Oh my you have it all wrong (again) regarding Lee Schrager. In no way he met him after the birthday party in Miami! After that birthday party he went straight to NYC promoting LA. And wtf are you babbling about BCAC going on about a ballerina? The nonsense you spread - smh
Just take a good look back, or maybe just use BCAC's timelines, than it would have save you half an hour or more, and prevent you from making these mistakes.
He met Lee Scharger on December 5th 2022 after his first bottle signing in Miami December 3rd 2022, not after his birthday party with the guys in 2023. As said after the b-day he went to NYC for LA promo and right after that back to Belgium for TCND filming. No time for Mr. Schrager
If he had been smart he already participated at NYCWFF last year, but hey a comped vacay to Nevis was more important!
Get your facts straight before you start bullying other bloggers who do post facts.
Dear Get Your Facts Straight Anon,
I am not very sure what you do hope to achieve with this submission to my account. Because I am a Stupid, Stupid Shipper, I can only think of two possibilities:
A - you probably thought I was about to burst into tears, not publish a word, throw in the towel and disappear for ever from your obsessive screens. Something that would have perhaps ingratiated you to Marple until the end of time
OR
B- you probably thought I would publish it and look like a zero credibility, lying idiot and lose all my readers and throw in the towel and disappear for ever from your obsessive screens. Something that would have perhaps ingratiated you to Marple until the end of time.
Same objective. Placing people between a rock and a hard place. Killing them quickly and brutally with venomous words and be done with someone that you perpetually seem to choke on from June 2023 until the end of time.
At any rate you were wrong, 'Anon'. There are better, more civilized ways to correct people, there are more subtle ways to ridicule them. No doubt, this is what you tried to achieve, here. And well, there we are: you are still Anon and I am still owning my game. How about that, pumpkin?
The first post about Lee Schrager has been published by me exactly one (fucking) year ago: https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/730746701530431488/labor-of-love?source=share. During all this time, there have been zero comments or corrections about it (I have even blocked an Anti, @justagirlwithspirit, but NOT about that point). You waited. Fair enough. I owe you a corrigenda and I also owe @bat-cat-reader and all the people who commented under those posts about Schrager my deepest apologies. I have diligently scoured the socials, checked my archives, relistened to Mark Gillespie's podcast and no, I could not find any trace of a lunch with Lee Schrager end of April/early May 2023 (I arrived in this fandom on June 18th 2023, mind you - that does not excuse anything, but perhaps it could explain a bit).
You were correct to point out December 5th, 2022, as the day of 'a quiet Sunday night dinner' with S and the SS team. For anyone with a bit of time on their hands, this is obvious - why disingenuously deny?
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For the life of me and with the best intentions in the world, I cannot remember how did I incorrectly connect those two episodes. I don't know what happened, how it happened and I feel quite angry at myself, to be honest. Again, you (all of you!) have my deepest apologies, knowing that it doesn't really change anything in the great scheme of things. It greatly pisses me off, surely. But it will not make me stop. You are not that powerful.
Your accuracy stops here, however. The ballerina (or 'dancer', as she called it) was something Marple heavily insisted upon, when she posted that footage from the restaurant where S was celebrating 'with the guys'. I hope you can read, Anon:
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Perhaps it's her humor. Perhaps she has zero humor, as I tend to think. In any case, this kind of insinuation lacked class and taste. It was unnecessarily disparaging and could even be construed as downright cruel by some. But if three posts on the same totally irrelevant topic in the span of two hours and a half do not resonate as 'heavily insisting' with you, then I certainly can't help you see her intentions, here.
'If he had been smart, he would have already participated at NYCWFF last year, but hey a comped vacay to Nevis was more important!' Grammar will always betray you, 'Anon'. Always. But rest assured, your dirty little narcissistic secret is safe with me. I won't give you more time, nor space than basic ethics allow. The rest is your problem. It is absolutely clear the Nevis trip was not 'a comped vacay', as you so carelessly write. I have posted at length about this #ad hashtag, not once, but twice. In the hope you guys across the street would write less garbage about it - to no avail:
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[October 25th, 2023: https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/732163733760163840/y-seguimos-para-bingo?source=share]
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[October 29th, 2023: https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/732463933939728384/bigotry?source=share]
I am many things, Anon. I am a short-tempered woman and I take no prisoners. But I am no coward and I am no fool. I might sometimes mix up my 'timelines', but I am not a vile, obsessed troll, with a big grammar problem. Ask your Caporegime why did she insist I have no legal education, until the day I got angry enough to post one of my well, several diplomas from Paris? How is that called, Anon?
It's not just 'spreading nonsense', no. It's calumny.
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
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safety-pin-punk · 10 months ago
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Punk 101: A Guide To Critical Thinking
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We all know that critical thinking is important, and it's something that any punk will tell you is an essential component of advocacy and pushing for societal changes. But, what exactly is critical thinking? As defined by the dictionary, it's “the objective analysis and evaluation of an issue in order to form a judgment”. And that's a good, short definition! But it can make the act of thinking critically seem a bit hard and over complicated for some people. So lets phrase it in a way that seems more manageable:
Critical Thinking is the act of taking in information, understanding it, and forming or connecting ideas because of it
Sounds easy enough, right! So then what are the steps one has to take in order to be a critical thinker? I’m glad you asked! Here's a list in no particular order:
Learn About Things - In order to fully understand information and evidence, you need to know about the topic! Whether the issue is social justice or environmental protection, you need to have a base knowledge on the topic in order to form opinions on it. Researching topics on your own or taking classes are great ways to get informed!
Recognize Bias From The Source And Prejudices From Yourself - No source of information will ever be without bias. A good example of this is how different new networks discuss the same event. One might praise it, while another says it was bad. When trying to understand the information to form your own opinions, it's important to separate the information from the biases of the source. In general, it's good to remember that a pure fact is just the information without an opinion attached to it. On a similar note, you also need to be aware of your own bias! When you form opinions, ask yourself *why* you have that opinion. Do you have a reason? If you were to have grown up with different life experiences, do you think your opinion would be different?
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Go Straight To The Original Source - A good way to try and avoid bias is to go to the original source. Maybe news network A and news network B have differing opinions on a Tumblr post. Instead of trying to navigate those conflicting opinions to find the facts about the post, you can just go straight to the post itself!
How Reliable Is The Source And The Evidence - How much should you trust the source that you got the information from? Do they have a reputation of giving factual information? Can you find the information on any other sources? Or maybe someone is yelling about something online, but they’ve failed to add a link. It might make sense to trust what a well established researcher says without a source for their information, but maybe not some random person on twitter. Even if you have a primary source for where the information came from, it’s good to be cautious of the information itself. Sometimes false information is spread around on purpose or because of misunderstandings. 
What Is Being Excluded - Because biases exist, it is always possible that the source you are getting your information from is excluding more information either by accident or on purpose. To avoid missing information about a topic, it's good to check multiple sources and see if any have information that the others didn’t. A simple example of this would be two children playing on a playground. Child A pushes Child B, who gets hurt. When asked about what happened, Child A would say that Child B got hurt, but exclude the fact that it was their fault to avoid getting in trouble. Meanwhile, Child B and any bystanders would likely provide that information. 
What Is The Other Side Of The Issue And Why Does It Exist - You don’t have to agree with other sides of an argument, but it’s very important to be able to understand what they are, who thinks that way, and why they think that way. This will help you to see other points of view and counter any points they make in a discussion with understanding rather than anger or frustration. This is also important because it can expand your own opinions and judgments on a topic. Maybe the other side has points that you have never considered before, but now thinking about them has developed your own beliefs.
Avoid Black And White Thinking - Remember that the world does not exist in a good/bad duality. Everything will have problems, and the things that have problems might even have benefits. The world and its problems exist on a grayscale. To incorporate this into your thinking, try to understand *why* someone or something is doing something, the impacts it may have on multiple different communities, who it helps, and who it hinders. It's important to understand all facets of something before you form your opinion, otherwise you may be lacking very important details.
Don’t Forget To Fact Check - Never trust just one source, no matter how reliable it is! I usually recommend finding the information from at least 3 different sources before you confirm whether it's true or not!
Be Willing To Change Your Mind - Part of being a critical thinker that is often forgotten about is remembering to keep an open mind. Because critical thinking is based on the practice of learning new information, understanding it, and then forming/linking ideas, it is an opportunity to grow and change. You may start out advocating for one thing, but then through time, experience, and thinking, end up advocating for something slightly (or majorly) different. That is more than okay, and it's a sign of growth and maturity!
Resources to help learn how to think critically:
The Foundation for Critical Thinking https://www.criticalthinking.org/pages/index-of-articles/1021/
The University of Tennessee https://www.utc.edu/academic-affairs/walker-center-for-teaching-and-learning/thinkachieve/critical-thinking-resources
The Element of Thought https://theelementsofthought.org/further-exploration/links/thinking/
The Better Future Program https://www.betterfutureprogram.org/liberation-library.html
My entire masterlist can be found here!!
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kometqh · 9 months ago
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𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐌𝐞 𝐍𝐨𝐭
Captain Rex x F!Jedi!Reader Pt.2 Your first kiss with Rex, when the two of you were young and hopeful, and your last one, where he wished for nothing more than to protect you, to be by your side until your very last breath. Word Count: 5389 Warnings: Minor swearing (?), sad Rex, creepy man alert. A/N: I'm not proud of or satisfied with the first half, but I needed to pour my Rex love out into words &lt;3
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The first time you and Rex shared a kiss, it was.. Sudden. It was thrilling. It was indescribable, really.
It had blood rushing to your cheeks in spurs, heat spreading throughout your body as his fingers gripped bruises onto your hips, his lips hot and soft against your own, trapping you between his broad shoulders and an old, sticky counter.
The two of you had been sent on a mission, a Jedi and a Clone Captain. Hand in hand, the two of you played a newly married couple as you had been tasked by the Jedi Council. At first, you had no objections, but when you realised it meant the two of you would be fully and wholly alone, your hands began to tremble, your heart began to rattle and all your resolve seemed to crumble.
Sure, you were solid in your beliefs, and that included ignoring your ever-growing crush on the blonde, tan-skinned, honey eyed Captain of the 501st. 
But with more convincing, General Skywalker and Kenobi had managed to get you to agree, and soon the two of you were shipped off to a supposedly Neutral planet, where your bounty hunter had taken cover from the GAR's watchful eyes.
The air on this planet was nothing short of stuffy, particles clinging to your lungs like thick lumps of goo. The streets were nothing but grime, sweat and dirt as your eyes scanned the place. There were potholes in the roads, small crowds of traders and sellers and horse-riders, as well as the occasional trios of smokers that hung outside bars. The streetlights were the only source of light, the planet's moons having been hidden away behind a thick, lingering swarm of clouds.
Rex could feel your shoulders stiffening, and on instinct he had pulled you closer. According to the coordinates provided by General Kenobi, the bounty hunters' hideout was just a mere few-minute walk away from your current position, and so, the two of you made your way there. 
Numerous stall owners had attempted to steal your attention away, offering glamorous jewels and accessories and flashy trinkets, but were quickly shut up and dismissed by one hard glare from Rex, his fingers finding solace on your shoulder, keeping you protectively close.
He himself wasn't all too willing to embark onto this mission, but an order was an order, no matter how hard General Skywalker attempted to mask it as a request, as a choice.
And now, having you this close, Rex was almost forced to question all the rules and regulations that the longnecks and the Council and the Republic had imposed, had implanted into the clones, onto himself. With your scent invading his senses, with your warmth being shared between the two of you, Rex wasn't so sure if he was willing to stay single for the rest of his life.
Not when your nimble fingers latched themselves around his biceps like soft snares, caressing and squeezing the flesh, feeling the sturdy muscle beneath. He could feel goose bumps rise across his arms and shoulders, as your touch set off fiery sparks on his skin, as your gaze melted away his cold exterior.
As he glanced down at you, his chest tightened, seeing the way the orange lights warmed up your face, created a warm glow, made you look prettier, enhanced your features. A hint of a shadow danced across your cheekbones from under your lashes, microscopic freckles scattered across like stars in the night sky. Maybe, just maybe, one day the two of you would live in a Republic where he could, where he would, confess his adoration for you. 
But he saw no such thing happening anytime soon.
His thoughts were interrupted as a loud, irritating whistle caught his attention, and you came to a slow halt.
"Whatcha got there, lad? You sellin'?" A scratchy voice had asked, and Rex's eyes narrowed as he noticed a Weequay pirate had made his way over to them, his eyes scanning you up and down, hunger swirling in his thin, cat-like irises. A smirk tugged at his awfully chapped lips, and his right hand was perched on his hip, settling just above his blaster.
A weak gasp left your lips as Rex half-shielded your body from view, and if you hadn't been pushed behind him, maybe your heart would have pumped faster at the sight of his frown.
"Can't you see she's taken, lad?" Rex asked, his voice loud and sturdy as he glared at the man. You didn't have your lightsabers on you, nor could you fight off the pirate whilst undercover.
"Woah woah, calm down my friend, I was merely asking." The pirate stated, a frown appearing on his face as he looked between your seemingly spooked figure and Rex's ready-to-fight stance.
Looking up at Rex, you tugged on his hand, silently pleading to keep moving. Your lightsaber was safely stored away in Rex's backpack, and it meant you couldn't have acted as swiftly as you would of if it had instead been attached to your hip.
With a groan, Rex shoo his head, puffing his chest out like a proud lion. "She is not for sale, she's with me, she's my wife, and you, you better keep your grubby paws and eyes off her." Rex growled out, his chest rumbling with a newfound dominance.
"Or else-"
"Rex.." You whispered, one handlightly tugging his shoulder, "It's okay. Let's keep going." You insisted, snaking your hand along the side of his neck to cup his jaw. His gaze softened at the sight of you, and with a small nod of his head, the two of you moved away, Rex bumping into the pirate's shoulder with more than enough force to knock him to the ground.
The two of you walked in a semi-comfortable silence, not exchanging any words, and you preferred that. If you had to speak now, you were worried you'd stumble over your words and start blushing like a teenager. He was so effortlessly kind, so thoughtful, so sweet. 
What would you do without your favourite Captain? 
Probably sink into the earth or something.
Looking up, a small smile appeared on your lips; the clouds were scattering away under the wind currents, and the twin moons were beginning to peak out from under their cover. A cool, blue light engulfed the two of you, mixing with the war orange glow from the street stands, and your breath was caught in your throat as you looked up to Rex. 
His honey eyes reflected the purple mix, darkening under it as he stared ahead, occasionally glancing at his holopad. There was a familiar crease settled between his brows, crows feet crinkling at the outer corners of his eyes as his expression screamed 'Focused!', his gloved hand warm against the bare skin on your bicep.
His stubble, which he usually kept cleanly shaven, was now beginning to grow back, giving him a more mature, yet tired look. Your fingers itched to just caress his face, to feel those short, spiky hairs against your palm, to make him feel at ease under your touch.
He glanced to the side, his eyes widening as the two of you made instant eye contact, but a soft smirk appeared when he noticed you hurriedly looking away, anywhere but him.
He definitely liked to see you flustered.
After a short while, the two of you came to a stop in front of a small staircase, a few lingering figures smoking, and tall, dark brown doors that led to the inside of the club. 
The figures scoffed at the sight of you, muttering something about being 'rich' or too 'formal', but you paid them no mind as Rex placed his palm on the small of your back, glancing sideways as he ushered you forward.
As the doors opened, your senses were flooded with the smell and feel of thick smoke, choking you from the inside-out more so than the air outside. Loud music pumped through hidden speakers, and a swarm of bodies was tangled up on the dance floor, moving in rhythmic beats, flashing lights and singing making the room feel stuffy, and much smaller than it really was.
There was sweat on the walls, different coloured lights basking the otherwise dark space in all shades of the rainbow. 
Quickly, you took a hold of Rex's bicep, stuttering in your steps as you looked to him for guidance, and the male felt a surge of pride sprouting in his chest, knowing that you trusted him enough to seek protection from him. 
Without a second thought, he lead you to the bar, ordering the two of you drinks strong enough to survive the clamminess of the place.
Then, the two of you found seats at a faraway booth, sitting close enough for your arms to touch. You took an awkward sip of your drink, a horrible bitterness hammering your tongue, a shiver going down your spine as the liquid burned the back of your throat.
"What was this called again, Rex? Beer?" You semi-shouted over the loud music, your lips just inches away from touching his ear.
Without a thought, Rex turned his face to you, towering lightly over you as you leaned against his shoulder. Your eyes widened, a soft gasp parting your lips. His own eyes looked over yours, a smirk on his lips.
"Yeah, it's called beer, mesh'la. Why? D'you not like it?" He asked, nudging his chin to point at the glass. He watched as you chewed on your bottom lip, suppressing the grimace that fought to make its way onto your face. 
He never really saw you be so expressive around anyone else, not even around General Skywalker and General Kenobi. Was he an exception? He had waited to spend one-on-one time with you for so long, always being stuck by Skywalker's side.
A smirk tugged at his lips, and Rex couldn't stop himself from putting an arm around your shoulders, pulling you impossibly closer. The gasp that escaped your lips was luckily covered by the loud booming of the music, and the flush on your face was somewhat masked by the bouncing lights, or so you hoped. 
Rex's breath fanned over the top of your head, his hand tracing circles into your skin, though his eyes remained observant, scanning the room, as he took another sip of his own drink. 
You looked back to your own drink, a scowl forming on your face as you cringed at the thought of having to finish it. But, a plan formed in your mind. The two of you were supposed to be playing a couple in love, right?
Why not.. spice things up a little?
Without a second thought, you turned to Rex.
"If you drink that whole glass in ten seconds, the rest of the drinks will be on me tonight." Your voice was loud, your lungs straining to produce sound over the music, but it seemed to work as Rex thought about your offer, taking a moment to reply.
"And I get to choose?" He asked, his breath fanning over the shell of your ear. 
With an eager nod, you watched Rex sigh defeatedly, reaching over for your glass. 
"But you better be fair, or else." He winked at you, and neared the glass to his lips. His brothers often engaged in games like this, making bets or starting competitions, their favourite being 'How to get Fives drunk the fastest' or 'How to make Fives strip tease for the civvies'. 
He himself never got drunk, only somewhat tipsy, so it would definitely be a new experience for him. 
Drinking with you by his side, without the peering eyes of his brothers or the Republic. Here, it was just him and you.
"On the count of one," You begun, a grin growing on your lips as Rex readied himself, "Three.." His posture straightened up, his gaze daring you, "Two.." His grip on the glass tightened, and you felt yourself swallowing a growing lump, looking up at Rex through a thick curtain of lashes, lips parted, "One!"
With that, you began counting down, swallowing thickly as you watched Rex tilt the glass, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down with every gulp he took. You almost considered speeding up your counting, as in five seconds he was done with half of the glass.
A laugh escaped you as some of the beer began to spill down his chin, rolling in thick beads down his neck. At that point, he won. Your attention was completely focused on his neck, eyes glazing over him eagerly, and you wondered what it would be like to trace the column of his neck, to lick the alcohol off of his neck, would he like that? What would he sound like?
"Done!" Rex's exclamation startled you, the bang of the glass against the table effectively making you jump out of your skin. 
A loud laugh echoed, and as you looked up, Rex was just wiping his lips.
"Now, you owe me a drink," He said, taking a hold of your chin as he cheekily smiled, "Or a couple." He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, and rested back against the booth seat.
With a roll of your eyes, you got up from your seat and made your way towards the bar.
"Five shots of Spotchka for me mesh'la!" He shouted after you, and a laugh escaped your lips. As you ordered the drinks, a giddy smile tugged at your lips. Who would have thought that the two of you could share such a normal, such an ordinary day together? Especially at a bar like this of all places? Not even in your wildest dreams would you have imagined Rex and you playing a couple, clinging onto each other like koalas, or sharing drinks like this.
Never would you have imagined you would get the chance to be close to Rex like this, maybe if one of you were carrying the other off a battlefield, but that's it really.
You were one lucky-
"You alone miss?" Someone spoke lowly into your ear, a foreign hand caressing the small of your back. 
"What the-" You turned around, shaking away from their touch. "Who are you?" You asked, one eyebrow quirked as you looked the man up and down. He was definitely a local, dressed in dark brown trousers and khaki coloured shirt, his face looked worn, wrinkles scattered all over, his beard outgrowing a stubble and his breath reeked of alcohol and cigarrettes.
His eyes though, they were sullen and fighting against his will to stay awake and upright, they showed an exhausted man, a vexed man, a dangerous man. You knew that without your lightsaber you'd be completely and utterly screwed, but maybe you could talk your way out of this?
"I've been looking for some.. fresh meat," He paused, licking his lips as he looked you up and down, expectantly. His breath stank, and you had to fight really hard not to let your disgust show. "You looked a bit lonely, y'know.." He continued, and you felt a shiver run up your spine as he reached a hand to caress your shoulder.
Thinking back to how Rex was probably waiting for you, you felt a sense of comfort; he'd come if you took too long.
"Well actually I-I'm with someone-" You tried to reason, but the man shut you up with a sharp glare and a sloppy shake of his head. 
"No no, sweetheart, I think you misunderstood me," He growled out, voice rumbling in your ears, "You're coming with me." 
His rough hand felt like sand paper to your skin, unlike Rex's gentle, careful fingers that worked their way to yours, held you with so much care. 
His shirt slouched over his bony form, and you could see sweat staining the material. 
"Sir, I would advise you to let go of me or-"
"Or what? What are you gonna do, sweetheart? Scream? Kick?" He taunted, trapping your body between his own and the bar. Why was no one batting an eye at this? Was everyone so horribly drunk? Where was Rex?
You shook your head, pushing at his chest. 
"Just let go of me you creep." You hissed, freeing yourself from his grasps. A scowl overtook his features, a red light shining directly onto his face. What the hell? Why was he so stubborn on taking you away? 
Just as his lips parted, his small frame was roughly shoved to the side, and you paused in your tracks as something soft, something warm crashed against your lips. 
Large hands held your hips in place as his lips melted against yours, pushing against you, body flush against your own. Your eyes snapped open, but closed once more when you realised who it was. 
Your arms snaked around his neck, nails grazing against his scalp as you reciprocated this welcomed feeling. Your breaths mingled together, his tongue poking out to lick at your bottom lip, wordlessly asking for permission.
Granting it, your tongues swirled together, and he hummed in approval as his hips pushed you further into the counter, the wood digging painfully into the skin and bones. His body towered over yours as the two of you kissed, completely lost in each other's warm embrace, completely forgetting about the creep that had now moved away, shaking his head and muttering disgruntled 'Okay I get it's'.
As Rex slowly pulled away, you found yourself chasing his lips, almost whining at the loss of warmth. But a small smile tugged at your lips as you looked into his eyes, noticing how glazed over his irises were, how softly he looked at you, as if you were his precious treasure, his whole world, his universe. 
"You don't know how long I've wanted to do that for, mesh'la." He mumbled as he leaned his forehead against yours, his eyes fluttered close with a content smile on his face.
A soft huff escaped through your nose, and you softly nodded, placing a chaste kiss to his lips.
"Me too, Captain, me too."
The last time you and Rex kissed, it was passionate, it was hopeful, it was precious.
There was a spare hour before you and your squadron were to depart for another search-and-rescue mission, off to a rather politically-influential planet, busy with preparing your ships, guns, provisions, belongings and, most of all, your goodbyes. You were confident that the mission would be a successful one, after all, how hard was it to find a missing princess?
However, the creases etched onto Rex's features had your chest tightening, had you gnawing on the inside of your cheek, had you fiddling with your fingers. That familiar scrunch of his eyebrows, whenever he was anxious, was present, crow's feet dancing at the outer corners of his eyes. 
He kept his hands grasped together behind his back as he paced the hallway outside your room in circles, muttering and mumbling under his nose with hushed breaths.
The apples of his cheeks that were normally so full and chubby, were now sullen and drained of their usual roundness, the familiar bright glint in his starry eyes you loved so much, suddenly replaced by a dark, dusky chill. 
As the door to your room slid open, Rex had lifted his head, golden puppy eyes widened, relief flooding his features. His pacing had come to a slow stop as he peered at you, breathless. 
A sigh escaped your lips, the muscles in your throat tensing, your shoulders stiffening.
"Rex..? What's-" He was quick to interrupt your words, grasping your shoulders in a gentle hold as he pushed you back inside your quarters, the doors shutting behind him with a gentle whizz and thud. 
"Mesh'la.. You can't go." As the words left his lips, your heart squeezed, like a wet rug being drained of water. It twisted and pulled, tugging at the heartstrings until they were ready to burst. Where was this coming from, why was he so worried? It was only going to be a simple mission. The corners of your lips tugged downwards in a frown, suddenly gaining on a new weight to them that hadn't been there before. 
Your hands came up to hold his face, smoothing out the lines that had scattered across. 
"Rex, what's gotten into you? What's wrong?" You asked, your voice merely a hushed whisper as you neared your face to his. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed harshly, nervously. His eyes searched yours, the first hint of tears surfacing. 
His hold against you was tight, yet so full of love and care. One of his hands had slid up to cradle the side of your face, the pad of his thumb gently caressing the soft skin underneath, his warmth radiating onto you like a heavy blanket. His scent, the scent of fresh aftershave and gunpowder, was invading your senses, binding you completely useless under the spell of your lover.
With a shaky exhale, his eyes fluttered closed, crows feet tugging at the corners before he opened them back up, his feelings hidden behind an array of lusciously thick lashes and a steel-hard facade.
"That thing.. What Fives said b-before he- before he died," He paused, his gaze dropping down to the floor, his shoulders stuttering under the shakiness of his breaths, "About the chips. What if it's true?"
At that, your lips merged into a fine line, your hold on his face losening just the slightest. 
"Rex, look at me," You spoke, lifting his chin with the tips of your fingers, soft stubble brushing against the pads, "Do you truly believe in what he said?" You questioned, searching his eyes for something, for a clue. If this worried him so much, then why did he keep it hidden from you until now? Did he hear something he shouldn't have? Did he see something that confirmed what Fives had said?
"I didn't see or hear anything, if that's what you're thinking, mesh'la," His quiet voice just barely reached your ears, the gravelly hum grazing against the shells of your ears, like waves crashing against a sandy shore, and you wouldn't have heard his hushed whisper if you weren't leaning in so close, "But General Skywalker.. he- he hasn't been the same since Ahsoka left the order, he's been more unnerved, more reckless, more irrational and he's putting my squadron, my men, my brothers in danger, kriff, even you!" He exclaimed, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. His stomach twisted and turned, bile readily rising, burning, in his throat as he realised what he had just said. 
If this was anyone but you, he was sure to be court martialed, accused of treason or desserting the army, or conspiring, even. But this wasn't just anyone, this wasn't General Kenobi or Master Windu; this was you. His General, his friend, his comfort, his love.
Surely, you'd understand where he was coming from. 
You had allowed him a short respite, pulling him into your embrace as the tears had begun to spill over. One hand caressing his hair, the other rubbed comforting circles into the tense muscles on his back. He wasn't wearing his armour, for some weird enough reason, though you could inquire about that later. 
For now, Rex's wellbeing was your priority.
Your lips gently brushed against his ear as you spoke, your voice smooth and soft, like velvet, barely rising above a whisper. "Rex, we both know, forming attachments, relationships, is strictly forbidden.. But, has that ever stopped anyone? It certainly hasn't stopped me or you, so it definitely hasn't stopped General Skywalker," You paused, hiding your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his sickeningly sweet scent, "Ahsoka was like a daughter to him, Rex, a little sister to you. He's going through the same pain as you, but multiply that by two." You whispered, feeling Rex's silent tears ease into light, stuttering breaths, his gloved hands grasping tightly onto your robes.
The distant hum of active machinery and faraway footsteps filled the silence between the two of you, bouncing off the iron-hard walls, drowning out the sound of your breathing, masking the sound of Rex's gentle, feather-light tears and sobs. 
He had been through far too much in his short life, he had seen too much, heard, experienced more than enough. The numerous, countless deaths of his brothers, each dying on a cursed battlefield, sacrificing their lives dying for a cause that did little to care for them. The disappearance of Echo, the death of Hardcase, the death of Fives. All men who had been by his side for so, so many years. 
And then, General Tano leaving the Jedi order. 
That was the straw that broke the camel's back. 
He could no longer force and tie down that sense of fear, that sense of insecurity which twisted at his heartstrings, constricting painfully each time a new terror occurred. It squeezed at his lungs, suffocating him, dragging him down like a boulder tied to one of the many seas found on Kamino. 
Kamino. 
His.. home?
The longnecks never did care for the Clones, all they were to them was a moneygrab. An expensive one, at that. Who knew when the Republic would run out of money to produce more clones? Who knew when they would get tired of the many fruitless battles they so bravely fought? Who knew?
Those questions plagued Rex's mind like a stalkish nightmare, always there, hiding away in the deepest corners of his mind, creeping in every time he'd let his eyelids flutter closed.
But then, there was a light.
A golden, brightly burning flame, offered by an extended hand. 
It came in the form of your touch. 
Anytime you'd touch his shoulder, graze the soft skin of your palm along his jaw, place feather-light kisses against his nape, Rex could feel the tightness-
No. 
He could feel the fear that clawedat his chest slowly dissipate away. Inch by inch, the feeling of your skin against his, the sound of your voice dripping like honey, the warmth that radiated off of you like the sun, it washed the sticky, oozing black substance away in waves, it purged the darkness that tried to taint his heart and mind, his resolve and his beliefs.
His breathing had slowly come to a still, the trembling that had travelled throughout his body had eventually ceased, allowing the two of you to sit in a comfortable, peaceful silence. 
His fingers caressed the soft material of your shirt, tracing each slight bump of bone within the curve of your spine, his heart swelling with adoration at every soft exhale and chuckle that escaped your chest at his ministrations.
With you hidden away in his arms, away from harm's way, Rex began to feel at peace again. 
But that's just what you did; you put anyone and everyone at ease. You just had that effect. 
He didn't know if it was something to do with your force-sensitivity, or if it was just a personality trait. He wasn't about to complain though.
The tip of his nose gently nudged against the top of your head, slowly, taking note of the change in the scent. The corners of his lips nudged slightly upwards, crows feet tugging at the corners of his tired eyes.
"New shampoo?" He asked, his voice low and raspyed as he continued inhaling your scent.
Underneath him, he felt vibrations, your shoulders shaking as you snickered in his arms, the air escaping your lungs in short, joyful tufts.
"Yeah, I was getting fed up of the one provided by the Republic. It's peach scented, d'you like it?" You had asked, tilting your head upwards to catch a glimpse of his honey-glazed eyes. As he looked at you, he couldn't help the rapid rattling of his heart, warmth flooding his chest at the sight of you.
Your face tilted upwards, hands grasping his biceps, lone tufts of hair framing your face, the smug smile on your face as you looked up at him with those beautiful, glassy irises. It was like you were his own personal sunshine, small enough for him to cradle you within his clutches, tuck you away into his pocket, keep you by his side during combat.
Warm enough to chip away at the foul insecurities and fears that clogged his mind during his every waking moment. 
His gaze flickered to your lips, and Rex sucked in a sharp breath as he noticed you nibbling lightly on your bottom lip, a shadow cast onto your cheekbones through a row of long, luscious lashes. 
Neither of you said a word as Rex's hand cradled the side of your face, closing the short gap between the two of you. You closed your eyes, a joyful huff escaping your chest as his lips collided with yours in a passionate, slow exchange. 
His fingers caressed your skin with such care, with such gentleness, with such love, it made your heart beat faster and your blood burn hot with adoration. They swept down from the top of your cheekbone, along the shell of your ear, and finally found their place on your jawbone, his pinky settling for caressing small, short strokes along your jaw and the top of your neck. His other hand came up to do the same, pulling you closer than was thought to be humanly possible.
His breath fanned over your face, and his scent flooded your nostrils, soft vanilla mixed with his natural musky scent. 
It invaded your senses, engulfing you like a chilly summer afternoon on one of your rare days off, like the warm summer rain that soaked your clothes, tugged at the tips of your hair, like the warm rays of sun that peaked through the windows as you slept, summoning you to wake up, to feel alive, to feel loved.
A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips, your tongue brushing against Rex's bottom lip. You felt his shoulders shake under the heaviness of your palms, and it was soon followed by a soft chuckle as his hands tilted your head, angling it to provide him better access to your body, your lips, your soul. 
Your lips melting together, your heart swells with admiration and love for your soldier, and for a moment a fleeting thought wedges itself inside your mind; you and Rex. You and Rex and small children, a tall farmhouse sat behind your figures as the children splash around in a shallow pond, their joyful screams and shouts bringing a smile to your face as you and Rex relax further back, his arm cradling you close to his body.
But that thought is gone as fast as it came, a ghost of your past wishes and longings. But maybe, just maybe once the war ended, the two of you would be able to achieve such a future. Afterall, where there is love, there is hope, and where there is hope, there is life, right?
The two of you are interrupted as your intercom goes off, signaling for your attention. The incessant beeping is loud and repetitive, enough to cause a tension headache in you. 
Slowly, you began to pull away, your eyes fluttering open once more, your lips stinging as the cold air of your room replaced the warm plush of Rex's lips. You swallowed hard, releasing a short breath as you looked up into his golden eyes again, a pained expression settled in them again.
"Rex.. It's time for me to go," You whispered, bringing your hand up to caress his face as the man pulled you close, his fingers fiddling with the material of your shirt. He burried his nose in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent one last time, "I will contact you as soon as we land, or if anything happens, okay?" You asked, nudging his forehead with yours.
As he lifted his head, Rex felt that same fear overcome him again, tearing away at his heart, choking him up in an iron-tight hold.
"You better update me on everything, and I mean everything, do you understand?" He asked, his gaze hardening and his eyebrows furrowing as he maintained steady eye contact, conveying his worry for you. 
With a small nod of your head, you rose from the bed, whispering a soft 'I love you' before you gave him one last kiss, your touch leaving burning trails on his skin as the doors quietly slid shut behind your retreating figure, looking back at Rex one last time, committing the sight of him to your memory, your voice reaching his ears as you answered your intercom. 
His gaze remained on the doors, and Rex heaved a long, deep sigh.
"Get a hold of yourself, Rex, she's gonna be back."
But were you?
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