#it's just this person i struggle to work with and it's frustrating bc it doesn't feel like there's a reasonable output for feedback on her

[forcebookish]

as much as i'd like to see forcebook play their ages, i don't really mind them playing 18-22 year olds because i can easily forgive a lot of shitty behavior in that age group. it's a really rough time in your life, often your first time out on your own, when you might not quite grasp how dire the consequences of your actions can be because you won't "get in trouble." when you're graduating from Teenhood, there's sometimes a learning curve with "my parents ragged on me about X just because they're parents" to "oh they actually did know better i shouldn't do that shit" - sometimes you have to learn that on your own. add alcohol, the pressure of college, shifting identities, etc., it's a good recipe for some nice 'n' easy character development.

[queenerdloser]

i already complained about this to a coworker but maybe if i complain about it here i can purge it from my brain

so there's this specific type of data entry our admin team at work has to do for providers where we track how they spend their administrative time in order to make sure they're meeting required coverage given by my job. we had this huge kerfluffle earlier this year where we were told we needed to collect this like two weeks before it was due and there was seriously not enough turn around time and absolutely nothing in place - no procedure for how to get the data, no spreadsheet to put it in, barely any info on what we were supposed to collect, literally nothing.

so. earlier this year i made all of that stuff. and when we were told "oh hey btw this is not a one-time thing, you will have to continually collect this info" i went "okay but can we set down a set of guidelines and a procedure so we know what the expectations are and what exactly we're supposed to be doing?" and my boss went okay and then proceeded to spend three months not bringing the subject up.

and when it WAS we went VERY briefly over expectations (we need to submit it twice a year to my boss!) and that was it. so i went "okay, i'll draft up a procedure based on these loose guidelines and update our VERY sad spreadsheet" and i did that in about a week. and got feedback from another coworker, made my edits, and finished it all in roughly three weeks. i made a meeting so we could all talk about the procedure and the spreadsheet back in fucking july okay. the end of july. and then a few days before the meeting i was like "oh actually it'd be super helpful to get your specific feedback on these two (2!!!!!) items because this process is something we're literally doing for your benefit. we're collecting the data for you to pass on. and also. you are my boss so it does kind of feel like the creation of this kind of department-wide affecting stuff should have your input." and a few days wasn't enough so my boss asked if we could shift the meeting to a few weeks later and i was like okay fine w/e.

i took a vacation and got back in august. the meeting was coming up and i had asked for feedback before that. so i sent her a message, an email, and brought it up in our 1:1 meetings. she never got back to me with feedback, so i rescheduled again because i specifically asked her for her feedback and even specifically said i didn't want to meet until i had it. so another two weeks roll by and guess what? still no fucking feedback. so i reschedule again. i bring it up to her in our meeting again and she tells me oh yeah she's looking at it but if she doesn't get back to me before the next meeting just keep it, we'll talk about it at the meeting.

so we had this meeting today. and within the first ten minutes (in the middle of me explaining why we're meeting!!!!) she has the nerve to ask me "hey what is this meeting even for? what are we trying to figure out here?" as if i didn't send an email explicitly detailing why we were going to meet last week to everyone, as if i haven't brought this up with her several times, as if i didn't explain it in my original email asking for feedback.

and then we spent like half the meeting having to hash out changes that she brought up!!!!! things like oh actually this doesn't need to be formally reported twice a year, it's actually only going to be formally reported once a year with annual faculty reviews. like what the FUCK i based the entire procedure on the twice a year outline you gave. that's why i asked you to look at the procedure so i could make those kinds of changes BEFORE the meeting. i didn't want to spend the meeting trying to fix the procedure, i wanted to present it to our group as a finished thing! because now i have to go in and make these fucking changes she never bothered to tell me about for a month and a fucking half despite me repeatedly asking her specifically for feedback and put this project even FURTHER behind.

and like. she kept interrupting me during the meeting which is super frustrating. and she also just like. didn't answer any of the questions i DID have for her. me: "hey can you clarify if you are actually reporting this twice a year as was previously discussed or is it really only once a year with annual reviews? if so, do we need to have hard deadlines every six months to send this info to you?" her: "well i'd like it to be ready just in case i get asked, because i want to be able to go in there and see the most updated data." okay but that's not the question i asked you!!!!!

me: "so what i have in the procedure i have screen-shared is we should do these updates on a quarterly basis." her, two minutes later: "so you guys will have to decide how often you're planning to update this info." me: "yeah that's why i have it in the procedure we should do it on a quarterly basis." her: "you'll just really need to choose how often it's done."

she does this all the time!!!! like you are supposed to be the leadership in our department so would it kill you just to give me a straight answer and lead??? can you PLEASE just say "well this is due twice a year, so you need to keep it updated every quarter" instead of this wishy-washy stuff? and also when i send you something and ask for your fucking input can you give it to me without me begging you on my hands and knees for it for a month and a half? and also ahead of the meeting so we don't have to waste half of it talking about stuff we could have already figured out if you were actually halfway decent at your job?????

[buckleydiazmp4]

do you mind if i ramble in the tags about my weird relationship with making art in fandom for a second

[mattyriddlesbitch]

heyyyy pookie!!! soo, I was the one that requested the "all yours" post, and first, I loveeeeee it never expect anything less of you!!! Secondly, i was wondering if you could do something like that, where y/n is not from Britain and English isn't her first language. Y/n is shy, so when she doesn't know a word she doesn't know how to say it and then her words end up being a whole jumble up. also, can it be just like a bunch of fluffiness and if u want a little bit of fun time?

ps y is this actually me

pps sorry if I'm asking so much and you don't understand, I just love mothers writing and English ain't my first language :)

Super short, but I hope you like it! And are you calling me mother?

���😭😭 It's just ironic if you are bc I am one lmaooooo. Anyways, love you, pookie!

It Started With A Quill

Mattheo Riddle x Reader

Warnings: Cussing, that's about it

When you first met Mattheo, you were still struggling with English a little. You didn’t know or you forgot some words. It made going to a school in Britain, where everyone speaks English, a little hard. So, you were super shy when you met him in one of your classes and he sat down next to you.

“Ah, fuck.” He muttered to himself when he was looking through his bag. He sighed and turned to you. “Do you have a quill I could borrow? I forgot mine.” He asked.

“Quill.” You repeated the word, furrowing your eyebrows as you looked at him.

“Yeah. A quill.” He nodded, not understanding you didn’t understand him.

“Uh…” You shrugged, a little embarrassed and awkward about the situation. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Now he was looking at you curiously. “A quill. To write with.” He said, making a gesture with his hand, mimicking writing.

“Oh!” You nodded, piecing together what he meant and handed him an extra quill from your bag. “Sorry, I’m not the best with English.” You said with a sheepish smile.

“Oh, English isn’t your first language?” Mattheo asked, tilting his head as he leaned back in his seat.

You nodded in response.

“How’s school for you then?” He asked curiously.

“School is…” You knew the word you wanted to say, but couldn’t remember it in English. “It can be hard at times. Like I don’t always…” You clicked your tongue, trying to recall the word.

“Understand?” He offered.

“Yes! Understand!” You nodded. “I don’t always understand the teachers. The words get mixed in my head.” You said.

“Sounds frustrating.” He sighed sympathetically.

“Um, what’s your…what do I call you?” You asked.

“My name? Mattheo. What’s yours?” He smiled ever so slightly, seeming to enjoy your struggle with words.

“(Y/N).” You answered. “Nice to greet you.”

“Meet. It’s nice to meet you.” He smiled as he corrected you.

You sighed, blushing in embarrassment. “Right. Sorry. Nice to meet you.”

“That’s cute.” He said, leaning forward to rest his head on his hand on the desk as he still smiled at you. “You get embarrassed so easily. You know it’s not a big deal, right?”

“I know. Still…” You shrugged, looking away. “People make jokes about it.”

“How about you teach me your language and you can make fun of me?” He said, looking over you now that you weren’t looking at him.

“You want to learn my language?” You asked curiously as you looked back at him.

He shrugged. “I've always wanted to learn another language anyways. This way I can get a personal tutor.” He said with a sweet smile, looking back in your eyes.

“Tutor.” You repeated the word. “Would you help me too?”

“I guess I can.” He said, turning his attention to the teacher as they started class.

That was how you met Mattheo and how he got you to give him private lessons in your language.

Taglist:

Let's see if this works this time

@jeannie-beannie @yourenogoodforme @mixvchelle @helendeath @evaslytherpuff

@ireallyneed-somesleep @soaked4abby @hpnsfwaddict @mayamonroem @motherfing-stargirl

@dracoslovergirl @littlemadamred @i-like-pandas5

[stawbeemilk]

⤷ insecurities they think are beautiful; part 2 – hq

✩ characters: various

✩ warnings: none

✩ a/n: i've been super busy with work but i'm finally back! i decided to write a part 2 to this bc i've been feeling pretty down lately. but yeah these are once again all things i personally struggle with or have struggled with in the past ◡̈

⭑ bare face

every time he gets the opportunity to see you without makeup, he swears he feels his heart beat twice as fast. of course he appreciates all the time and effort it takes for you to do your makeup, but he just thinks there's something so intimate about seeing you fresh out of the shower, your hair still damp and your face entirely bare. he doesn't miss the way you tend to avoid eye contact, how you shy away from him and subconsciously try to hide your face, and it makes his heart sink because how do you not realise how cute you are? his favourite part of the day is waking up next to you and getting to see your pretty face, imperfections and all— it never fails to make his heart flutter.

⤷ hinata, fukunaga, iwaizumi, tendou, suna, osamu, ennoshita

⭑ messy hair

he thinks your unruly hair is adorable. he knows that it can sometimes make you feel a little self-conscious, worrying that you don't look presentable with your hair a mess and finding yourself becoming frustrated with it because of how long you spend trying to style it in the morning, but he loves the way it sets you apart from everyone else. he might occasionally tease you about it, but it's always intended to be lighthearted and he never means anything by it. likes to ruffle your hair for his own amusement, making it even messier than it is already and enjoying the way you pout at him and try to smooth it down.

⤷ kuroo, tsukishima, matsukawa, yaku, akaashi, daishou, hoshiumi

⭑ beauty marks

he finds himself drawn to the pretty marks on your face, unable to take his eyes off you because you're so beautiful. whenever he goes to kiss you he always starts off by letting his lips trail over the points of your face where your marks reside, before softly pressing them against your own. he loves how unique they make you look, and he thinks they compliment your features perfectly. it makes him so sad when he sees you trying to cover them up with makeup, and the fact that you don't see them the way he does genuinely hurts him. he loves the idea that your beauty marks are where your lover kissed you the most during your past life, and he likes to kiss them in hopes that he'll be leaving those marks on you in your next life too.

⤷ sugawara, kai, oikawa, tanaka, konoha, kita, hirugami, asahi

⭑ cellulite

he loves to randomly grab your thighs at any chance he gets, enjoying the way the supple flesh feels under his palms. he thinks you look amazing in thigh high socks and cute little skirts, and whenever he sees the small amount of pudge at the top of your socks he'll definitely have a hard time keeping his hands to himself. to be honest he probably didn't even realise you had cellulite until you pointed it out to him, too preoccupied with how absolutely gorgeous you look to notice such a small detail. reminds you that it's completely normal and natural, and will reassure you that he thinks it's beautiful as many times as it takes until you start to believe him.

⤷ daichi, bokuto, yamamoto, kyotani, atsumu, nishinoya, meian

⭑ being thin

he honestly can't understand why you don't like your body, because in his eyes you're literally perfect. he knows that you tend to wear baggier clothing most of the time, the loose fabric swallowing up your figure and concealing the parts you dislike the most about yourself, but he would be lying if he said he didn't love those days when it's really hot outside and you opt for something that's a little more revealing than usual. he adores the way tighter clothes look on you, and the way they show off and accentuate your beautiful figure. he thinks you look so pretty and delicate, and the fact you're smaller than him makes him swoon.

⤷ kageyama, kenma, hanamaki, sakusa, yamaguchi, goshiki, kunimi

⤷ please do not repost my works on any other sites!

[milksnake-tea]

I´m the latest anon,with Blade please.

❀ ˎˊ- prompts: When they wake up in the middle of the night, and you aren't by their side. + "Please, stay. Just… stay." ❀ ˎˊ- 1k followers event ❀ ˎˊ- character: blade ❀ ˎˊ- warnings: angst ofc :(( but primarily hurt/comfort, implied violence, mentions of death (its blade whatd u expect), nightmares, ends in happy ❀ ˎˊ- a/n: i might change up the wording of the phrase bc blade doesn't strike me as the person to actually say this out loud, but it'll be in thoughts !!! also the ending is eating at me but ITS OKAY I DID IT SO YIPPEEE

It's well past midnight when Blade is ripped from his sleep.

His chest heaves with shuddered breaths, his eyes blown wide with something akin to fear. His eyes crinkle as he silently groans in frustration, taking in deep breaths to steady himself. But it doesn't work.

Gingerly running his fingers over his neck, he recounts the nightmare. The sharp chill of ice still lingers where he'd been struck by his former comrade, phantom pains where her blade had slashed him. Blade had never feared death before - on the contrary, he'd always welcomed it. But it was different with her. With Jingliu, he…

Her blood-red eyes, as cold as a corpse and with the liveliness of one as well, seared into his memory like an iron stamp.

Blade sighed to himself, blinking up towards the ceiling. At this rate, he'd barely get any sleep at all. Even worse, it would cause his mara to act up once again.

Raising his hand, Blade clicked his tongue when he saw it shake, the tiniest tremor running through it.

He hated this. He hated the trembling of his fingers. He hated the rapid thud of his heart, which still hadn't stopped. He hated how even a distant memory of that woman could make him so weak, so… afraid.

Closing his eyes, he rolled over, reaching over to your side of the bed. Whenever the nightmares came about, you were his anchor. If in the morning, you woke up, and Blade was clinging to your side, head buried into your neck, you would know what had transpired that night.

Only you weren't there tonight.

His hands close around empty sheets, his arm wrapping around a pillow rather than your body. Instantly, Blade's eyes shot open. He sat up, a sliver of shock slipping onto his face as he carefully observed the area.

Realistically, he knew that you had gotten up out of your own accord. There were no signs of a struggle, and no one would be idiotic enough to steal you right from Blade's arm, especially in the midst of the Stellaron Hunters' base. If you had been kidnapped, he would know.

But that didn't stop the anxiety that gnawed at his heart. If you weren't here, then where would you be?

His question was soon answered, though, when a small glimmer of light caught his eye. The door leading out of your shared room was outlined in a soft glow, indicating a person on the other side.

Blade let out a sigh, almost laughing at his own foolishness.

Slowly, he rises from the covers, letting the blankets drop off his body. He rolls back the soreness in his body from yesterday's mission, massaging his shoulder as he heads off to the kitchen.

The bright lights leave dark spots in his vision, but he can still see the general shape of your body as you fill a cup of water. He rubbed at his eyes as he came up behind you, still drowsy with sleep.

Surprised, you turned at the sound of his footsteps, a cup of water held in your hands. "Blade? Sorry, did I wake you?"

Blade shook his head, wrapping his arms around you and nuzzling into your shoulder. He didn't say anything - he rarely needs to. You can hear the words he wants to say in his actions, in the way he pulls you tightly against him and refuses to let go.

Please, just… stay.

You hum knowingly as you feel him breathe into your skin, setting down your cup and reaching up to pet his head. His hair is soft against your fingers as he leans into you, closing his eyes as he immersed himself in you.

"Again?" you ask gently. Blade nods, propping his chin onto your shoulder. You leaned your head onto his, softly rubbing at his scalp with your fingers as the man hums in content. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you."

Blade shook his head. "It's fine. You're here now."

"I'm here," you agreed, turning in his embrace. You held his face in your hands, kissing at his face where tears would've been, had he ever cried. Blade let a smile slip onto his face for a moment, before kissing you on the forehead.

"Why did you leave?" he asks softly, but he doesn't really expect you to answer. You both know that he's aware of the reason, it being quite obvious in your hands.

"I was just getting a little water," you reply anyway. "I'll be back in bed in a few, so wait for me, okay?"

"I can wait here," Blade assures. "Do what you need to now. When we return, I won't be letting you go so easily."

You laugh at his statement, leaning against him with a crinkle in your eyes. "Alright, whatever you say, mister."

And Blade smiles back at you, only happy to have you back in his arms.

reblog w comments are appreciated !!

[stoutguts]

ADHD/neurodivergent 🧼 (💀🧼 too bc why not/it's my comfort ship and I love them)

(chock full of my own personal HCs and ideas, also mental health stuff/issues/problems heyo)

I am most definitely all for autistic Ghost, but what about ADHD brain/neurodivergent Soap? I've seen few people talk about this or explore it so here we go.

Like, even though Johnny's generally laid back, he still tends to be very hyper or high-strung. Maybe even overwhelming for some people, and is easily excited almost like a puppy (golden retriever Soap my beloved), (Ghost thinking it's literally the cutest thing ever). Bro has either the attention span of a nat or is so hyper-focused on something he forgets to blink.

He has APD (auditory processing disorder),—and will ask you to repeat yourself 15+ times before he finally understands what your saying. This is incredibly frustrating for him, but like Price will lose his shit, because having to repeat himself is like one of his pet peeves lmao. Same thing, with Yuri.

Even Ghost and Gaz get fed up with him on occasion. Though Roach doesn’t give a fuck because they’re just as ADHD as him, and just loves to talk, plus their echolalia helps to sort things out lots of times. Gaz will give him the silent treatment and refuse to talk to him. Usually when Simon finally gets irritated with him it's lead to a fight. But it isn't long before Ghost feels bad and apologizes, and reassures him saying "I know you can't help it". Simon tries to work on learning to be more patient specifically for him. 💕

He does the same things that Simon does to stim, (though particularly pacing and bouncing his leg). But he also likes to chew on everything, whether it’s a pen/pencil, a cap off a water bottle or other plastic drink bottle—(This pisses off Simon in particular, and they’re always scolding him about how he’s gonna end up choking on it. Not to mention, he always leaves the nasty ass, spit-covered things around and forgets to throw them away after he’s done with one. Either leaving Ghost to pick up after him much to his disgust, or forcing Johnny to throw his own shit away, (as he should). If he gets ahold one of those spiky silicone balls from an arcade machine he likes to bite the nibs on it, etc. Simon has even bought him some chewlery because he orally stims so much, to which Soap uses all the time and was overjoyed when Ghost first got it for him. Though his chewlery needs to constantly be replaced because Johnny has unusually strong and sharp teeth. It’s not uncommon for him to completely destroy shit that he gets his paws on. Simon often comparing him to a dog or a teething puppy.

I am also totally for Johnny being just as mentally fucked as Ghost.

He’s the four b's, bisexual, bipolar, bilingual, and a bitch.

Like Simon, Johnny has generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), for similar or for maybe even the same reasons as Ghost. Not nearly to the same level of severity, but panic attacks and flashbacks do happen on occasion. As with certain things he's easily triggered.

He also struggles with bipolar disorder and/or severe manic depression. His bipolar tendencies making it incredibly difficult to maintain relationships in his youth, among many other things, (his past drug abuse/addiction only making him worse and more unstable). Though these days he’s medicated and for the most part stable, only sometimes going off his meds, (particularly when he relapses or is heavily triggered by something).

No therapist has ever been able to help Soap, though he does see a psychiatrist regularly.

Mostly for anti-psychotics and other prescription refills and the like, but can vent as much as he likes to them. Either that, or Simon doesn't mind lending an ear to listen when he needs it.

Similar to Ghost, Johnny can have very low self-esteem, but can also be of very high self-esteem, (it fluctuates due to his manic depression). And Simon is more than willing to give him reassurance and comfort, but equally doesn't mind knocking him off his high-horse, and/or, taking down his ego a few pegs if need be. (Which isn't so bad, as Johnny just so happens to have a degradation kink). >:3

Johnny is a highly reserved person, (though he’s able to put on a mask/a show for other people and strangers), and pretty stoic (all things considered), due to his traumatic upbringing. He has a very unhealthy habit of bottling up his emotions until he quite literally explodes, though he's trying to get better about that. But he can’t help but genuinely let his guard down, and has LEARNED to let his guard down around Ghost, the 1-4-1, and his sisters (the most important people in his life).

This tidbit has less to do with mental health and rather his personality but I still wanted to include it here so…

Soap is highly perceptive and emotionally intelligent. You can't hide anything from him as he can always tell when someone's lying to him, and he always knows when something's wrong. A true empath. He's also a very good liar himself because of this, but he uses this secret power responsibly, and would never lie to those closest to him and/or his loved ones.

All members of the 1-4-1 having highly specific phobias? Yes please.

As for Johnny…

He is deathly afraid of needles and hospitals (Trypanophobia and Nosocomephobia), because when he was growing up and as a young kid he was quite sickly, and often was in and out of the hospital. He's immunocomprised and gets sicks all the time, most of the time nowadays when he gets sick it's just a small cold, with the occasional illness that may put him out of commission for a bit—Simon always doting over him and making sure he’s okay when he even so much as senses he’s got a runny nose—Johnny finding it incredibly endearing, but when he was a child it was horrible. When he was hospitalized he'd suffer at the hands of doctors and nurses much too often, going through one too many traumatic experiences. Mostly, because of incompetence or just straight up apathy. Getting his IV done is the worst, because he's cursed with almost non-existent and small veins. Oh so jealous, of Ghost's huge and bulging veins. Someone will stick him upwards of 10 times or more, or until his arms are swollen, until they finally get it right usually. Not to mention, Johnny also has Hemophilia, and so he bleeds a lot which only makes it even more distressing. Soap specifically underwent medical and first-aid training, just so he could avoid going to medical himself as much as possible. His medical knowledge and training has happened to pay off lots of times in the field, for himself or for his teammates or squad’s sakes. Despite his aversion, he's not squeamish at all when it comes to mending his own wounds, or others weirdly enough. Even if he's severely injured he refuses to go to medical. Simon used to get really mad at him for this, because of not only his stubbornness, but seemingly his cockiness was what really pissed him off. And they know Johnny’s skills only go so far, and he's immunocomprised and a hemophiliac for crying out loud. Eventually Ghost confronted him about this, and after Soap explained everything it was a lot more understanding and sympathetic. Though it didn’t change the fact that it will borderline harass him if he’s seriously hurt and won’t go help himself, or just straight up force him to go to medical. Johnny always protests but ultimately he gives in, and Simon makes sure to give him emotional support and stay with him when he needs patched up.

Thank you for reading my ramblings, next post will be about my take on Ghost, his mental health, his autism, etc, probably!

[wayfayrr]

I just remembered how sometimes I yell at Link when he does something that annoys me, like if I’m trying to walk across a really skinny plank but he accidentally walks off/falls off, or when I’m trying to run from an enemy but he starts climbing a tree instead. I’ll just be like “Link no! Get off the stupid tree omg ur gonna die!” Or “Link! Stop falling off the platform! I just wanna get to the top already!” Would he be mad at me for yelling at him? Sad? …..?

Then there’s an unrelated issue that isn’t his fault that my controller sometimes drifts, so he’s walked off cliffs before bc it was drifting slightly forward and I didn’t notice. The most annoying one on my controller is when the motion control stops working and I’m trying to aim my bow and arrow but it freezes so I have to quickly manually flick the analog stick so it works again but by then I might’ve already gotten hit. Is he mad at me for these problems?

Oooooooh! Then there’s the whole having to scroll thru the whole menu options when u wanna attach something to ur arrow. Ugh that takes forever! Like I wanted a bomb flower but now I want a keese eyeball and that’s all the way at the other end of the menu! Is he frustrated w that? (Ik technically it’s “paused” when I do that but let’s say he’s still conscious when I’m doing that it’s just everything around him is frozen in time. So like he’s just crouching there waiting for me to finally attach an eyeball lol).

Or what about the sages?? I love them all so much but trying to find them (and the right one when u have all of them) and activate their ability is sometimes annoying. I’ll want Sidon’s shield for a second but instead Tulin does his gust. Or when I’m just trying to pick something up he’ll blow it away lol. What does Tears think of that?

Sorry this got so long. I understand I had like 4 ideas in this ask, they all just came into my mind at once lol.

I think he'd get a bit upset over you yelling at him, he gets that you're worried that he'll get hurt but it's not always his fault? sometimes sure but it's just starting to hurt his feelings more than anything. when you're playing he's just a puppet in your hands and as much as he loves you he's still 'a person'. if you struggle to even put him anywhere near that position soon then well, it's not like you can yell at him again for it right? he doesn't want to upset you after all.

I don't think that he'd ever blame you for console defects like that, hell he could even be behind a good number of them, it's not your fault the game is buggy. The only time he could ever be bothered by it is is you close out of the game because its so buggy, if the game is getting to the point where it's bordering on unplayable he still can't blame you but it'll get under his skin so much more. is he not good enough for you? is his game not good enough for you to work through the glitches? don't be surprised if you can't exit the game or turn off your switch for a bit :3 surely nothing has gotten corrupted or broken beyond repair right? No he hasn't sabotaged it himself, how could he - why would he?

The menu is honestly pretty sucky at times for throwing items and sticking them to your arrows, besides from reshuffling it to get what you need to be closer to where you start scrolling from. I think tears is most likely to get irritated at the games own design for that, because it'd be so much easier for him to just grab what you needed from his pad to fuse it onto one of his arrows but he just can't, he's stuck having to abide by the rules of the game, watching you struggle with the admittedly awful UI Nintendo cursed him with. If he wasn't so stressed about you resetting him - or worse reporting your 'faulty' copy of the game. he'd take his own steps to make it better for you - maybe he'll even do it earlier if you carry on struggling like this. He just needs to get more confident about it <3

the sages probably mess with him so much, he wants you ALONE and now he's constantly got these guys running around him?? he's gotta interact with them to try and get his abilities (lwk this could make him more jealous of wild who gets to have you one on one all of the time) And most of the sages abilities are optional anyway so I mean, maybe you won't notice if he simply disables them right? he won't delete them outright so if you miss them you can use them but if you don't reactivate them? maybe he could.... so then it'll be just you and him, just link.

[doumadono]

Hello hello! I hope you’re having a good day🗣️❤️

I have a bit of an emergency request if u don’t mind.

I recently got surgery on my shoulder and the recovery has been… rough to say the least. I can’t lift my arm higher than 90 degrees and can’t pick up anything more than five pounds, this has made it where I’m unable to work which means I’m struggling to make ends meet. I have a lot of wonderful people in my life but I’m such an independent person that I have trouble asking for any help in any way, this has lead to me being in either a lot of pain while doing something I shouldn’t, or just absolutely defeated because I’m unable to do something as well as getting in multiple fights with friends and family bc of my stubbornness.

Anyways, could I have a shoto x fem reader where she’s kind of in a similar situation? Maybe like he lets her do things herself but only if it’s safe for her to do so and lets her know it’s okay to let people help her? I’m just really in a weird life phase rn and I’m trying to remain hopeful but it’s getting hard.

Anyways, I hope you have a lovely week❤️

-Jupiter<3

Learning to lean - Shoto x Reader

A/N: I’m very saddened to hear you’re going through this, but remember, it’s okay to ask for help. Your strength isn’t just in your independence, but also in knowing when to lean on others. This tough time will pass, and you'll come out even stronger on the other side. Stay hopeful and be kind to yourself!

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST - PART 2

You never thought something as simple as picking up a cup of tea could be such a monumental task. Your shoulder ached with every slight movement, a constant reminder of your surgery and the limitations it imposed. You gritted your teeth and tried to push through the pain, but the frustration was always lurking just beneath the surface.

The days since your surgery had been a whirlwind of pain, frustration, and a lot of sleepless nights. You hated feeling so helpless, unable to do even the simplest things without a sharp reminder of your injury. You were an independent person, always priding yourself on being able to handle things on your own. But now, everything had changed.

"Y/N, let me help you with that," Shoto's calm voice interrupted your struggle.

You glanced over at him, a pure stubbornness in your eyes. "I can do it myself," you muttered, not wanting to rely on anyone, not even your boyfriend.

Shoto walked over, his mismatched eyes filled with concern. "I know you can, but you don't have to do everything alone." He reached out, gently taking the cup from your trembling hand and setting it on the table.

A sigh escaped your lips, both from relief and frustration. "I hate this. I feel so useless."

Shoto crouched down beside you, his hand lightly touching your uninjured shoulder. "You're not useless, sweetie. You're recovering, and that's not something you have to do by yourself."

You shook your head, fresh tears spilling over. "But what if I never get better? What if I'm always like this?" You looked away, not wanting to meet his eyes. "And I don't want to be a burden."

He tilted your chin up, forcing you to face him. "You're never a burden to me, little one. And you will get better. It takes time, but you will. And even if it takes longer than we hope, it doesn't change how I feel about you. You're strong, and you've already come so far."

You bit your lip, tears welling up. "I just… I don't want to feel weak."

Shoto's expression softened, and he pulled you into a gentle hug, extremely mindful of your injury. "Asking for help doesn't make you weak. It makes you human. And I'm here for you, no matter what. You should know that by now, sweetie."

You leaned into him, allowing yourself to relax for the first time in what felt like ages. "Thank you, Sho."

He smiled, his warmth seeping into you. "Now, how about we tackle this together? You tell me what you need, and I'll be your hands when you can't use yours."

A small laugh bubbled up despite your tears. "Deal."

The next morning, you woke up to the smell of breakfast wafting through the air.

Shoto had insisted on staying over, just to make sure you were okay.

You protested at first of course, but now you were grateful for his presence.

You made your way to the kitchen, your shoulder protesting with every step.

Shoto was at the stove, his back to you, flipping pancakes with a practiced ease. "Good morning, princess," he greeted without turning around. "How did you sleep?"

"Better, thanks," you replied, taking a seat at the table. "You didn't have to do all this, you know."

He turned to face you, a little smile playing on his lips. "I wanted to. Besides, it's not every day I get to cook for someone I care about."

You blushed, making a loud awww sound. "Well, it smells amazing."

He brought a plate over to you, setting it down with a flourish. "Bon appétit."

As you struggled to cut your pancakes with one hand, Shoto quietly slid the plate over to his side and began cutting them into smaller pieces for you. "Here you go, Y/N," he said softly, sliding the plate back to you with a warm smile.

You dug in, savoring the delicious meal. As you ate, you couldn't help but watch Shoto.

He moved around your kitchen with such grace, his every action filled with a quiet determination. You marveled at how thoughtful he was, always anticipating your needs before you even voiced them.

After breakfast, Shoto suggested a short walk outside.

You hesitated, knowing how much effort it would take, but his gentle encouragement made you agree.

He stayed close by your side, matching his pace to yours, his presence a comforting reassurance.

As you walked, the two of you talked about everything and nothing.

You found yourself opening up to him in ways you never had before, sharing your fears and frustrations. "Sometimes, I just feel so angry," you admitted, your voice trembling. "Angry at myself for getting hurt, angry that I can't do the things I used to."

Shoto stopped walking and turned to face you, his eyes full of understanding. "It's okay to feel that way, Y/N. It's a natural part of the healing process. I'm here, right by your side, and you shouldn't hesitate to lean on me. You can fully rely on me, princess."

You nodded, tears spilling down your cheeks. "I know, but it's hard to ask for help."

"I understand. But remember, it's not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength, to know when you need support and to accept it."

Over the next few days, Shoto's presence became a comforting constant. He allowed you to do what you could, but was always around to step in when you needed him.

Slowly, you began to accept his help without feeling guilty.

One evening, as you struggled to reach a book on a high shelf, Shoto was there in an instant. "I've got it," he said, retrieving the book effortlessly.

You smiled up at him, no longer feeling the sting of inadequacy. "Thanks, Shoto."

He handed you the book, his eyes twinkling. "Anytime, Y/N."

That night, as you sat together on the couch, Shoto turned to you with a serious expression. "Y/N, there's something I've been wanting to tell you."

You looked at him, curiosity piqued. "What is it?"

He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. "I care about you a lot. More than I can put into words. Seeing you in pain, struggling, it hurts me too. I want to be there for you, not just now, but always."

Your heart skipped a beat, warmth flooding your chest. "Shoto, I… I care about you too. You've been my rock through all of this." Tears welled up in your eyes, but this time they were tears of happiness. "Thank you, Shoto. For everything."

He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "I love you."

"And I love you too," your voice was a soft whisper, gentle and warm like a summer breeze.

Shoto's love and support gave you the strength to keep going, to heal, and to embrace the future with hope.

[diagonal-queen]

hello can i request dazai, kunikida, and fyodor with an insomniac s/o who's really tired after a busy day but can't seem to fall asleep no matter what and gets frustrated bc of it

"Can't sleep?"

♡ pairing: Dazai Osamu, Doppo Kunikida, Fyodor Dostoyevsky x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: How do they help their S/O with insomnia get to sleep?

♡ cw: Reader is an insomniac (I genuinely don't know how that would manifest itself as a trigger but hey! I'm just one person in a sheltered world. Stay safe everyone <3), probably super inaccurate because I myself am not an insomniac and don't really know everything about it, Dazai horny, mentions of taking medication, mentions of alcohol, swearing

note: I feel like garbage cus my writing takes forever and I feel like I'm letting y'all down for taking so long with reqs, but I don't know what to do to fix itttttttt. Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Dazai:

Well reader. You're lucky you cuffed yourself a night owl

He'll help you calm down from your frustration and tell you that it's fully normal. Everyone has trouble falling asleep, and you just haven't figured out an effective routine yet. He doesn't really know what he's talking about but if it makes you feel better then meh

His first suggestion would probably be sex, to tire you out. Even better if you go for multiple rounds just to be sure~

Yeah right Dazai, like anyone's gonna wanna fuck every single work night (besides him lmao). Safe to say, the idea is thrown out pretty quickly

He'll throw some similar ideas around (not necessarily sexual but certainly 'if they're tired out then they'll fall asleep faster') but those are all just temporary solutions, so he gives up quickly. What else did you expect from him?

He might also suggest drinking yourself to sleep since alcohol is a depressant and makes you tired. You have to remind him that excessive drinking is actually not good for you and should NOT be used as a substitute for sleep meds

He reckons that it's best for you two to let sleep overtake you naturally, and so you may as well just stay up for now.

From then on Dazai treats every single night like a sleepover. He'll wanna watch movies, eat snacks, and talk all night even if it's a work night and you absolutely shouldn't do that

If you want, he's happy to do something more chill like cuddling while sharing a pair of earphones playing mellow music

Whatever it is that the pair of you decide to do, he'll likely find that it helps him just as much, maybe even more, than it helps you. And he's grateful for that

Kunikida:

I feel like Kunikida also has at least mild insomnia, so he knows just how you feel and is right there to help you out

He's got it all ready. Fans/blankets to balance out the room's temperature, a warm drink (milk, tea, whatever you prefer), basically all the stuff Google would suggest

He would do all of that stuff alongside you even if he's already tired enough to fall asleep on his own because he understands the struggle. He doesn't give up until you're asleep and honestly get you a man who would also do that

He also discourages you from things like caffeine before bed or napping during the day to help you get more sleep at night

He'd make a whole new bedtime routine for the two of you and adjust it based on what works, it'd be like a whole thing that he takes super seriously

He'd suggest reading before bed and recommend/lend you books that he likes, and also read to you if you really pleaded for it. He really enjoys reading and he would be thrilled if the pair of you had a little thing you did together <3

If they don't give any side effects/react poorly with any meds you may already take then he would also give you some of his sleeping pills (because let's be real he's fully stocked with them. this man)

Kunikida would let you cuddle him in your sleep whether or not he likes it or it makes him sweat, because let's face it you need the sleep and he needs the physical touch. It's basically a win-win

He gives you permission to wake him up if you can't sleep and need his help, or if you want company in your waking time.

He honestly does whatever it takes to help you because he cares so much about you. Perfect man fr

Fyodor:

Bold of you to assume that Fyodor sleeps. Like ever. He's too busy being evil or something

When he learns that you're an insomniac he's fully willing to let you stay up late with him while he's working if you're in need of company. He doesn't care whether you're just on your phone or reading a book or whatever

If you ask him he'll also let you sit in his lap and cuddle him (as long as you don't bother him- if you do he's sending you right to bed)

Fyodor knows that calming music is a good way to help people sleep, so if you're down he'd be willing to play something mellow and soft on his cello for you

He probably wouldn't admit it but he kinda likes that you find it hard to get to sleep since it gives him an excuse to spend more time with you

But if you really do wanna get to bed then he'll have some tea made for you and he'll read to you. His voice is very relaxing and nice to fall asleep to and he kinda knows it (he's smug about it too because he's a bastard)

If you find that you actually sleep better in his presence then he's more than happy to move a couch into his office and let you sleep there.

He's also happy to forfeit (SOME) work so he can come to bed earlier and help you sleep. And he's also happy to cuddle you because you're warm

Fyodor will basically just help you get to sleep with methods that he uses to get himself to sleep because it's the only way he knows how. Even if it doesn't work please give him credit for trying because he really is trying super hard T-T

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco

[temtamtom]

I'm curious about the Papal States/Vatican!! 😮 What are his relationships like with the Ita Bros and Rome? Love your content and art btw!! <333

Tagging the pookie @starsmadeinheaven bc they're a fellow Pietro enjoyer

hehe thanks! I'm glad you enjoy my cringe (/lh) <3

I think for this answer I'll just focus on Pietro's relationship with Rome and Romano, since they're not dynamics I focus on too much. Reminder that I'm not a historian, so if I get things wrong please be kind and respectful <3 I've also, of course, had to oversimplify some stuff haha

ROMANO -

I think Pietro likes Romano quite a bit. He’s a religious fellow who respects Pietro and the church’s authority. Romano, on the other hand, gets annoyed by his pompous, ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude, and really dislikes the way he talks about and treats Feliciano. But he won’t say anything to his face because he’s such a Good Catholic™ and he doesn’t want to risk getting on the church’s bad side. It certainly doesn't help that Pietro can be so charismatic, either. His resolve and attitude quickly turn into jelly, and he becomes quite the goodie two-shoes when around Pietro.

This does frustrate Feli, though. Romano is generally protective over him and will defend him if necessary, yet he struggles to speak up against Pietro.

ROME - 

I’m still working on my headcanons about Pietro’s childhood, so stuff is bound to change! I’m still debating what his identity as a personification is tied to, especially at such a young age. For now, his roots are tied to the very early beginnings of the Holy See (/Apostolic See). And, like I do with a lot of nation headcanons, he was likely kicking around for a bit before he started forming an ‘identity’ as a personification. So I think he’s been around for approx. 2000 years. 

(A small aside, but I think it’d be interesting if Pietro had some personal dilemmas on what exactly he represents. Is he the church? Or is he just the people living within the Vatican? When he was The Papal States he never thought much of it, seeing as he was free to be more than just a religious institution. But now he can’t help but wonder and it’s… confusing.)

Pietro wasn’t raised by Romulus, nor does he have any blood relation to him. They largely ignored each other for a while- Romulus had other, more pressing matters to occupy his time and Pietro steered clear from Romulus, keeping to himself and his practices (though he’d still face some ire/scrutiny from the Romans from time to time). But things took a drastic turn after the Great Fire of Rome, with Nero's persecution of Christians. Romulus, also greatly hurt and angered from the fire, was pulled into the frenzy, and his opinion on Pietro seemingly changed overnight. In his state of mind, Pietro was no longer just some strange kid trying to find his way in the world, but a possible threat that needed to be caught and extinguished. Pietro was eventually caught, and this is when he likely experienced his first death. 

I think Pietro’s opinion now towards Rome is quite mixed. Despite not being related to Rome, and ultimately being persecuted by the man, his city wound up in Pietro’s hands (along with other large swathes of his former territories). Through this he was exposed to Rome’s cultural legacy, and grew to (begrudgingly) respect it. Rome was a great man who achieved many great things, but he also traumatized Pietro and hurt his people (and other peoples, too). He’s not entirely sure what to think.

[skele-bunny]

I seen you share this post and I know you're comfortable writing these things, so I was wondering if we could have little snippets or maybe a fic elaborating on when you wrote about Dew punching someone for fat shaming Aether? Thanks!! https://www.tumblr.com/skele-bunny/759611991374643200?source=share

Word! Also you're right wjsjdj I don't mind writing these things at all. I'm perfectly fine with getting requests to tackle heavier topics 💪 context: this post by @mutt-sys

CW - FATPHOBIA, RACISM, PARENTAL DISCRIMINATION, ABLEISM, VICTIM BLAMING, TRANSPHOBIA, ACEPHOBIA

Cowbell has experienced acephobia before. Ghouls are sexual driven creatures, there's no way a ghoul is asexual! She's had to deal with crude remarks, "You just haven't met the right person!" // "It's just a phase you'll grow out of." , which also meant unwanted advances. Sometimes it gets to the point she thinks she's broken. That something really is wrong with him.

A multitude of both ghouls and siblings have had to work around ableism. Zephyr simply being denied into places like the bathhouse, outings with their pack as they simple didn't have wheelchair accessibility. Delta being denied accessibility services because he wasn't "blind enough." Pebble fighting for MONTHS to get his hearing aids. Phantom not being accommodated as "We've seen autistic people before. You don't act like that." or just "You? I would've never guessed! You don't look autistic!"

And yeah! Just like in that little hc post, Aether, Cumulus, Omega, Alpha, Ifrit, basically any bigger ghoul has absolutely received fatphobia on a daily basis wether it's subtle or outright. Getting grimaces, especially if they work in the hospital. Bc they're deemed "unhealthy" so why should they work in a "healthy" setting? Omega getting an annoyed sighs from the wardrobe siblings "Guess we need another size up..." Cumulus being deemed unattractive because of her weight, her height, basically anything about her was unattractive. Unlovable.

Even Terzo faced discrimination. Constantly misgendered and deadnamed even after being publicly out, always feeling his face warm up and heart stop as he's deadnamed in front of someone who only knew him as Terzo. But forced to bare it and grin as if he even tries standing up for himself he's "Sensitive" or "Over reacting" and given just annoyed sighs and eye rolls. Sunshine and Cirrus getting scoffed at and slurs thrown at them for entering women's sections of say the bathhouse or changing room at the gym. Constantly being reported (that doesn't go anywhere) but passively aggressively suggested to use the gender neutral rooms instead, which just makes them more upset.

Mist experiencing discrimination with her kits! One of them starts fussing and annoyed whispers of "I wish there were child free places"//"Does that baby have to be here?"//"Great, just what I wanted. A screaming kit." At first he was able to stand up for himself and curse them out but after so many times... It's hard to not let it get to you. Just softly crying and getting frustrated at not only himself but her kits :/. Unable to go back to work as they don't want someone "wrapped up with kits who's unreliable."

(Based on my own and my partners experiences.*)

Ghouls facing issues as they're learning a new language, just broken and choppy but doing their best to try and communicate. Always gets those fake smiles as they turn to a ghoul that been around longer "Could you translate for them?" Or even speaking to them like a child. "What is YOURRR naammee?" Just outright ignored if they try to get someone's attention bc that person doesn't want to 'struggle' with trying to understand even tho they're not even attempting.

Swiss having to learn to do his own hair and more styles as the stylists didn't know how to even work with his hair type. They just shaved it and he was MORTIFIED. Always labeled as aggressive by passer-byers and being followed around in stores while Dew is left alone and even approached with friendly service. Being stopped twice and accused of shoplifting and trying to defend himself only to, once again, be marked as aggressive and hostile.

Dew terrified to come out about anything he experienced bc he's heard the whispers about other people coming out. "Well what did she do to deserve it?"//"He must've led her on."//"That's what happens when you drink!" So he just stays quiet and never speaks up about anything, just forced to deal with it on his own even after he confided in Aether and Mountain as he's scared they think that of him.

Shit SUCKS. While there have been improvements through the years, unions, changes made with each Papa, it doesn't always stop it. Unfortunately, discrimination will always be around. 🫠

[gayleviticus]

I didn't really notice this before but it's interesting how in the dispute over whether Jesus is casting out demons because he himself is on the devils payroll in Matthew 12 - there's the famous bit about blasphemy against the Holy Spirit which lots of people get hung up on (and understandably so, esp if you struggle w scrupulousity and OCD - very inflammatory thing to put in the Bible @ God).

but Jesus then goes on to talk about good and bad fruits, and this line struck me: "Either make the tree out to be good and its fruit good, or make the tree out to be rotten and its fruit rotten; for the tree is known by its fruit."

you can kinda sense his frustration here. "make up your minds! either I'm doing something wrong or I'm not; can we not try to claim that I have some evil hidden ulterior motive that makes all the good things I'm doing secretly bad."

now sure, there are circumstances where people can do or support good things for bad reasons (nazis using anti Zionist sentiment as a dogwhistle; terfs making a song and dance about feminism - altho id argue neither of these groups are particularly 'doing' good things just hijacking them, but there are also just homophobic conservative churches that do run soup kitchens and food banks and yet that doesn't counterbalance the bad they do) or do bad things for what they perceive to be good reasons. but seems like what Jesus is talking about is again his old maxim of judge trees by their fruit; don't decide a priori that since X person is wrong therefore everything they do is tainted with wickedness.

blasphemy of the Holy Spirit happens when people see God at work doing good things and decide, in order to preserve their preconceived ideas about the way things are and what's good and bad, to call good evil.

and I think the reason that's an 'unforgivable' sin isn't necessarily because it's a particularly heinous one, but because it fundamentally warps your ability to interpret the actions of God. If you see God's goodness and mercy and grace at work in the world and decide well actually that's the Devil - how are you supposed to ever break out of that and truly recognise God? it's like when someone is hyped up on flat earth, creationism, anti vaxxer, protocols of the elders of Zion conspiracy theories; they've kinda destroyed their ability to even consider any alternative simply by loudly insisting any counterpoint is propaganda, any evidence to the contrary is fabricated, science itself is a hoax. blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is the same; people have destroyed any external benchmark (such as the harm and suffering being created) for judging their interpretations of scripture and faith.

and I can't help but think a bit on queer christians (as usual; I need to start finding other topics to get on my soapbox about), bc when we offer the fact that gay relationships or gender transition cultivate love and joy and peace and kindness and goodness, we get very much the same answer as Jesus' critics gave. "Pff. It's the work of the Devil." People a priori reject the good and life giving things we find in queerness because they don't want to deal with the implications of that. and so we get people insisting that bad trees can bear good fruit.

now in fairness they often do try for consistency and insist that actually this good fruit is a hollow lie and truly LGBTQ people are suffering underneath from living against God's will. but I think this view is losing its power bit by bit bc people understand it's asserting ideology over reality. it's a hard sell and not an intellectually serious position. either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad

[aspd-culture]

What's a good way to maintain a relationship with someone who isn't readily manipulated by me? I like other traits and would prefer to not give up at this time but when I want her to do something and she won't do it, I either feel angry or lose interest in her. She isn't actually being disrespectful or anything, but it feels like she is as she just seems to kind of see through me and typically sticks to boundaries instead of doing what I want. Driving me crazy.

I'll note that, as much as I am trying to be neutral here, this question was somewhat triggering (nothing bad to you anon! just something I've dealt with multiple times personally). Therefore I may come off harsh despite that not being my intention. I have nothing against anon, as this type of thing is common for pwASPD to struggle with. However, this is one of the symptoms that does need to be worked on to be able to engage in healthy ways with other people.

Any advice I can give here is going to fall in one of two categories: respect her boundaries, or separate from her. I understand that sounds harsh, but it is just what it is if you take out the tips. I'm trying to get ahead of that so you're aware of it and don't feel tricked by the post. Now I have more details for that on how to make it easier on a person with ASPD, but that is what these are going to boil down to. I am not willing to encourage someone to break boundaries, nor to stop someone from setting boundaries. Intentionally trying to manipulate someone to get around their boundaries is abuse regardless of the nature of your relationship - familial, platonic, romantic, etc. - and I've been the victim of this too many times to allow for that to be condoned here. I know it's hard to unlearn that type of thing but it's just something that you have to do. One way or another, she deserves to have boundaries respected and to have autonomy. When we say "manipulation is not always bad" here, I am very distinctly referring to ways that are not harmful and not directly fighting the will of the person being manipulated. Getting someone to throw something out for me bc they like that I flirt with them in high school is not a harmful type of manipulation - until and unless they directly set a boundary around that behavior. At that point, continuing is not acceptable and while it took me time to learn that, I recognize now that that was a very important part of the journey to being a safe person to be around.

So, that said -

If you want to remain in her life, you'll need to learn to be comfortable with her boundaries. I'd recommend having some sort of communication where you are aware of the full list of boundaries that she has at the moment. That kind of an open dialogue is a tad awkward, but is a very reasonable accommodation to ask for. The reason I say this is that one big part of pwASPD's struggles with others' boundaries is more heat of the moment, or at least is worsened by the heat of the moment. Being told "I can't accept you doing this/I'm not willing to do this" outside of the context of a situation where it's actually happening can make it easier to avoid the frustration when you're actually in the situation where you want what the boundary does not allow. If you know in advance, for example, that your partner doesn't like to go to parties then it may be easier and less upsetting when you hear about a party you'd like to take them to and are aware that they will say no. In essence, this lets us say no to ourselves vs having someone else say no to us and that tends to give enough control in the situation back into our hands that we feel safe and our symptoms aren't triggered - or at least are less so. This is also a good time for you to hear all the boundaries and truly get a grasp on how you feel about continuing to be in her life considering them. Walking away from any type of relationship on the basis that your boundaries aren't compatible is a good and healthy choice, even if the person tries to convince you you're being sh*tty by not accepting all of them. At the end of the day, removing yourself from a situation with boundaries you cannot accept is, in itself, respecting those boundaries.

It's important to note, though, that these boundaries likely will not be the only boundaries this person has for the rest of however long you two are in each other's lives/for the rest of your lives. This does *not* mean you should stick around expecting boundaries to disappear or loosen, because that's not how that works. You should, however, prepare yourself and be aware of the fact that a new boundary may be set at any time, or that those boundaries may change to fit new situations you weren't expecting them to. No one is bound to only stick to the list of boundaries they've told you about as they originally defined them, so a part of this conversation may be you expressing that you need direct communication to inform you about changes in boundaries in the future.

If you can't respect her boundaries for any reason, then unfortunately all I can say is that you need to remove yourself because that's really the only healthy decision that can be made in that circumstance. Depending on the nature of your relationship, there may be ways to do this that don't involve losing her entirely (for example, if you two are dating and the boundaries you're struggling with her upholding aren't applicable in the nature of a friendship, then if she wants you guys could continue to stay friends), or it may be a matter where that's not possible or isn't what one or both of you want. That'll be something to discuss amongst the two of you.

Plain text below the cut:

I'll note that, as much as I am trying to be neutral here, this question was somewhat triggering (nothing bad to you anon! just something I've dealt with multiple times personally). Therefore I may come off harsh despite that not being my intention. I have nothing against anon, as this type of thing is common for pwASPD to struggle with. However, this is one of the symptoms that does need to be worked on to be able to engage in healthy ways with other people.

Any advice I can give here is going to fall in one of two categories: respect her boundaries, or separate from her. I understand that sounds harsh, but it is just what it is if you take out the tips. I'm trying to get ahead of that so you're aware of it and don't feel tricked by the post. Now I have more details for that on how to make it easier on a person with ASPD, but that is what these are going to boil down to. I am not willing to encourage someone to break boundaries, nor to stop someone from setting boundaries. Intentionally trying to manipulate someone to get around their boundaries is abuse regardless of the nature of your relationship - familial, platonic, romantic, etc. - and I've been the victim of this too many times to allow for that to be condoned here. I know it's hard to unlearn that type of thing but it's just something that you have to do. One way or another, she deserves to have boundaries respected and to have autonomy. When we say "manipulation is not always bad" here, I am very distinctly referring to ways that are not harmful and not directly fighting the will of the person being manipulated. Getting someone to throw something out for me bc they like that I flirt with them in high school is not a harmful type of manipulation - until and unless they directly set a boundary around that behavior. At that point, continuing is not acceptable and while it took me time to learn that, I recognize now that that was a very important part of the journey to being a safe person to be around.

So, that said -

If you want to remain in her life, you'll need to learn to be comfortable with her boundaries. I'd recommend having some sort of communication where you are aware of the full list of boundaries that she has at the moment. That kind of an open dialogue is a tad awkward, but is a very reasonable accommodation to ask for. The reason I say this is that one big part of pwASPD's struggles with others' boundaries is more heat of the moment, or at least is worsened by the heat of the moment. Being told "I can't accept you doing this/I'm not willing to do this" outside of the context of a situation where it's actually happening can make it easier to avoid the frustration when you're actually in the situation where you want what the boundary does not allow. If you know in advance, for example, that your partner doesn't like to go to parties then it may be easier and less upsetting when you hear about a party you'd like to take them to and are aware that they will say no. In essence, this lets us say no to ourselves vs having someone else say no to us and that tends to give enough control in the situation back into our hands that we feel safe and our symptoms aren't triggered - or at least are less so. This is also a good time for you to hear all the boundaries and truly get a grasp on how you feel about continuing to be in her life considering them. Walking away from any type of relationship on the basis that your boundaries aren't compatible is a good and healthy choice, even if the person tries to convince you you're being sh*tty by not accepting all of them. At the end of the day, removing yourself from a situation with boundaries you cannot accept is, in itself, respecting those boundaries.

It's important to note, though, that these boundaries likely will not be the only boundaries this person has for the rest of however long you two are in each other's lives/for the rest of your lives. This does *not* mean you should stick around expecting boundaries to disappear or loosen, because that's not how that works. You should, however, prepare yourself and be aware of the fact that a new boundary may be set at any time, or that those boundaries may change to fit new situations you weren't expecting them to. No one is bound to only stick to the list of boundaries they've told you about as they originally defined them, so a part of this conversation may be you expressing that you need direct communication to inform you about changes in boundaries in the future.

If you can't respect her boundaries for any reason, then unfortunately all I can say is that you need to remove yourself because that's really the only healthy decision that can be made in that circumstance. Depending on the nature of your relationship, there may be ways to do this that don't involve losing her entirely (for example, if you two are dating and the boundaries you're struggling with her upholding aren't applicable in the nature of a friendship, then if she wants you guys could continue to stay friends), or it may be a matter where that's not possible or isn't what one or both of you want. That'll be something to discuss amongst the two of you.

[juminies]

Don't know if you've ever talked on this subject or not, but what's your interpretation on Jumin's relationship with Jaehee after her good ending? Really love how mindfully you explain Jumin's feelings and actions, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter! Especially bc her route kinda leaves many people feeling like he's an antagonist of sorts 😬 But I kinda always felt like he'd respect her a lot, especially once he sees how much passion she puts into her dream? And Jaehee shows her genuine care for Jumin, too, moreso after his infamous crash. I'm kinda babbling here, but yeah! Really curious to read up on your interpretation <3

I haven't talked about this before actually—I think there's a lotttt of nuance to it and I didn't want to be haphazard with it in case it comes across as me being over lenient with corporate heirs or whatever hahah. I promise I'm not! I just love Jumin. Also sorry this took me a while to answer, I had actually just started a game the day you sent it with the intention of doing Jaehee's route so I decided I would play before responding to ensure it was fresh in my mind. I hadn't played her route in so long, and I wanted to get the Jumin outgoing calls too!

To get into how I think he would treat her after some time passes I first want to discuss their dynamic in her route a bit, because I honestly think people are unnecessarily harsh on him because of it sometimes. I personally don't feel as if they pushed him too far into an antagonistic role, but perhaps since Cheritz weren't bringing in an outsider (à la Echo Girl or Sarah Choi) to act as the driving force it seemed that way to some people? It was inevitable given the nature of Jaehee's struggles that Jumin would be viewed as the bad guy in a sense, but I feel like it's often sort of blown out of proportion due to a misunderstanding of both Jumin's intentions and his character as a whole. He is admittedly at his worst in Jaehee's route, but people tend to brush his actions during it off as completely out of line and absurd and then go on to use it to totally mischaracterise him as someone who doesn't value his employees whatsoever or is an abusive boss. In reality though, the way he acts as a superior in general as well as given the specific circumstances is very... Jumin? in that it's logical and efficient and goal-driven. Jaehee's route is such a push and pull in the sense that the two of them clash repeatedly in a scenario where neither person is willing to compromise—for what, to each of them personally, is good reason! Jaehee is a victim of a wider system, of capitalism itself, less so than of Jumin as an individual.

On one hand, Jaehee having to give up a project she was finally actually enjoying working on would be incredibly frustrating, even without having something she actively dislikes stacked on top of it. I get why she went against Jumin's wishes of doing a bad job (why would she choose now of all times to put in half of her effort when it's something she's actually having fun with?) and I get why she used Seven's cat hotel proposal. Life can be messy like that. Sometimes you have to make a decision that has a shitty outcome for someone else for your own sake or vice versa. She should be doing something that makes her happy, and had she not gotten the encouragement to find something she loves she would have continued to feel unfulfilled for god knows how long. Plus, in regard to the coffee report she is still technically doing her job and doing it well, even if going against her boss' personal wishes in doing so. She also does use her own time to revise it in the end so Jumin can have his way (and maybe a little bit so she can use her ideas for her own place) so, to me, that says she understands where he's coming from and doesn't particularly resent him. It's a complex situation for sure, and objectively Jumin does have the upper hand even if he doesn't quite realise the extent of it. I absolutely support Jaehee in her endeavours; I love her so much and she absolutely deserves better than eternal C&R bullshit.

At the same time, Jumin's perspective does make sense if you try to understand his worldview a bit more. Jaehee is the only person at C&R he feels he can genuinely rely on, and when he's already been thrown through a loop with his father prior to her disobedience it's entirely logical that he would feel as if everyone who should be working with him is suddenly against him. Jumin has been shown before to not quite have a grasp on the social standing he holds over Jaehee, for example in this chat from deep story day 2 where he doesn't understand why she can't tell him, as he told her, that she doesn't like seeing him in chatrooms.

And I think it's genuine obliviousness as opposed to purposeful ignorance; he overlooks bigger structures at play because he legitimately values hearing the honest opinions of the people around him and expects them to have a mutual respect for him. As far as Jumin is concerned his employees should be able to come to him with honest feedback, but of course that typically isn't the case and so Jaehee can't express how she really feels to him lest she face consequences. Jumin's thought process when it comes to employment is shown to be, to put it simply, people work for money -> more work is more money -> more work is good, and it hasn't been explained to him why this isn't the case for a lot of people. Jaehee's actions register to Jumin as is simply a betrayal of his trust and respect, because he doesn't quite see the level at which he and Jaehee are on unequal footing in the first place. On top of that he is rigid in that he needs everything to be done as he expects it; he does not like sudden change and (as demonstrated in his own route) can be incredibly rattled by it if he is already otherwise stressed or overworked. Just because he stands strong for his friends does not mean he is entirely invulnerable to being overwhelmed and acting out, and while I completely agree he was on some level being selfish in regards to the cat project, at the point where Jaehee quits she has already left him with what (to Jumin) is a mess to handle essentially on his own. He is overworked too, something Jaehee admits herself, and he wanted to transfer the coffee project to another department both to make less work for the two of them and in order to not succumb to his father's lack of consideration for anyone or anything but his current partner.

Again I do not blame Jaehee for anything she did whatsoever—I think it was a good idea for her to quit and she absolutely deserves the happiness she finds in MC and their café!—but Jaehee is incredibly competent and Jumin knows that. Consequently he knows she has big boots to fill and it can't be done on a whim. I'm sure you can see why he would be incredibly frustrated. As a whole it's just a very messy situation where the two of them can't really fathom the other's perspective. Their lives and outlooks on the world are so intrinsically different at this turning point in Jaehee's life, and that's fine. Neither of them have bad intentions towards the other whatsoever.

Now to actually answer your question! Firstly I want to put out there that he says this on days nine and ten respectively:

Then I want to add that I do not think Jumin is the type to hold a grudge. He is shown frequently to take on a sort of each to their own/whatever will be will be attitude, and though this situation is something that impacts him directly I can't imagine him taking it any more personally in the long term than he would anything else. Sure he's a little hostile in her AE, but to be completely honest with you I do not think he would have gone to visit the café at all if he was completely furious and had lost all respect for Jaehee (and/or MC) after her endeavours. Again he knows that Jaehee is highly capable, hardworking, and generally a very good person, and I can't imagine that one rocky dilemma between the two of them is something that would make him bad tempered around her forever. He still clearly held her highly and has a lot of respect for her despite their differences, and she doesn't seem to have any ill will towards him either. Ultimately, as you say, he would grow to respect her passion and would hear her out on why she took the course of action she did in the end. While Jumin may not be great at putting himself in others shoes he can identify patterns well, and it lets him draw parallels between his own experiences and other people's. Once he finds the common ground (he knows how fulfilling passion projects can be, he knows how frustrating it can be to work yourself to the bone for others' sake without any real incentive, and he values real friendship an awful amount) I think he would accept it.

I actually feel like hypothetically in the long term not working together would be good for their relationship in terms of RFA too—Jaehee was only made part of the group originally because of Jumin and it meant that all of their interactions even amongst their mutual friends were that of a work relationship. We know they both dislike being in chatrooms together and dislike hearing each other talk outside of work, which was bound to have put a strain (even if very minor) on their association with RFA as an organisation. Jaehee even says herself it's like an extension of C&R for her! Dropping the working boundary between them means less tiptoeing around each other and more openness among friends, especially for Jaehee.

As for Yoosung becoming Jumin's intern/assistant, I don't think it would carry the same tone into RFA as it did with Jaehee since they are already well associated without the business relationship prior to Yoosung being hired. Sure things might be a little weird at times, but no discomfort or frustration to the same extent. It's already shown to be kind of unserious and silly, and I honestly don't think Yoosung would last long as Jumin's assistant anyway, lol.

[spacelazarwolf]

I really hate how often neo ra/df/ems will go on and on about how trans fem's transitions are waaaaaay more difficult and they're waaaaaay less likely to pass, but if a trans masc dared to make any similar comparisons, they'd be fucking crucified.

There are a lot of feelings I have around sex-based discrimination and the difficulties of a masculinizing transition. On one hand, I don't think comparing struggles like that is useful (i.e. trans women have harder transitions).

On the other hand, I feel like the reality of the situation is actually quite the opposite for many people (everyone acknowledges that testosterone makes your voice drop and you grow hair, but nobody seems to want to acknowledge hysterectomy vs orchi, voice training is still often needed, electrolysis for phallo, the fact that bottom surgery is usually multi-staged [even metoidioplasty is sometimes 2 stages] with a lot of moving parts and far worse scarring, top surgery is almost a necessity for passing whereas not every trans fem wants top surgery + scars are easier to hide, face masculinization is far less common w/ fewer options, puberty begins earlier in perisex people AFAB and puberty blockers don't always allow for full height to be achieved bc they don't typically allow you to start testosterone until you're about 15 even IF you were a "classic" trans-since-3-years-old kinda case, the extreme body horror that is accidental pregnancy and abortion and menstruation when that's dysphoric vs not being able to carry a pregnancy just feels like an insulting comparison sometimes and I've had multiple trans women call me inconsiderate for expressing horror at getting my bodily rights taken away bc "that triggers my dysphoria", testosterone is a scheduled substance and has more difficult administration methods than simply a pill, etc.)

And so I bite my tongue and try to be the better person, because stooping to that low doesn't help anything. But at the same time it's so extremely frustrating to be told that you "have it better" when, considering the facts, it REALLY feels like the opposite. There's this level of bitterness around that that I am DESPERATELY trying to resolve within myself. I have a therapist. I know it's projection. I'm working on my own bullshit. But please tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way? I just wish they'd stop with that rhetoric and realize just how difficult the average trans masc transition truly is

yeah it's really frustrating for ppl to present Trans Women's Experiences and Trans Men's Experiences as diametrically opposed, with one experience being Eternal Pain And Inescapable Suffering and the other being Barely A Blip On The Life Radar. and while i understand it's coming from a place of pain, i've also experienced a lot of trans women shutting me down when i try to talk about how abortion rights affect me. back when i was first dipping my toe into trans spaces, i was friends with a trans woman who told me it was transmisogynistic of me to want to transition because "trans women would kill to have been born in your body." and while it absolutely comes from a different place than when cis men try to assert control over me and there's not the same power dynamic, it's still a complete stranger feeling entitled to tell me what to do with my body because of the sex i was assigned at birth. it's frustrating to have people i'm supposed to be in community with play into the same sexist bullshit that other people, regardless of gender, have been holding over my head my whole life, feeling like they own my body bc women and ppl who are forcibly assigned the role of women in society are seen as public property. our bodies aren't our own. everyone feels entitled to comment on them and touch them and make decisions about them. and it sucks when it comes from other people who should understand how that feels.

and like. obviously this idea that trans men's transition is so much easier than trans women's is unhelpful bc 1. there is no one particular way for trans men to transition, 2. not everyone who transitions in the way typically associated with trans men is a trans man, 3. it doesn't take into account how disability, race, ethnicity, etc. play into people's experiences before, during, and after transition, and 4. it's just not a fucking competition????? the fact that a disabled black trans man is going to be more systemically oppressed in society than a wealthy white trans woman doesn't mean trans men as a category are Objectively More Oppressed than trans women. bc gender is like. the worst possible way to try to gauge a group's place within the system. bc at this point, gender is not the most powerful system, race is. and i feel like a fuck ton of people really do not recognize that.

another thing that has bugged me for as long as i've been in trans spaces is this bizarre attitude that trans women are doomed to this miserable life of clockability and will never be able to pass as cis women thus they must accept that their life will be nothing but pain and suffering. and that's just very much not true! i know plenty of trans women who "pass" or who are happy with their bodies, who have jobs they love and friends and family who love them, who have a community that supports and celebrates them. and it has just always rubbed me the wrong way that people think they're helping trans women by presenting their existence as Inevitably Miserable when all it does is terrify closeted trans girls who think they're better off never coming out or transitioning, or better off dying. like. we have to understand that these narratives we create, the idea of the perpetually suffering trans woman and the lonely isolated trans man, are absolutely driving people to suicidal ideation. and if we give a shit about trans people, we should be changing these narratives.