#it's just that he progressively gets worse at keeping it up the longer he has a husband and small child for
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journey-to-the-attic · 1 year ago
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lorddd i had a fever on my birthday so here are some lil jtta and ddvd thoughts!!
ik can have the smallest of a fever and lucifer will not let that child go to school at ALL. he WILL infact do paper work in IK's room just to watch over her. (Zhao in the meanwhile is cooking for her ofc). But in jtta I'm sure it'll be similar but i had the little silly thought of solomon coming over and being like
"i leave a human being with u...and shes sick.." aka solomon vs lucifer custody battle (/j)
i'm sorry to hear that first part!! hope you're feeling better ^^
lucifer is telling mammon off for being too loud AND researching human-world medicine AND trying to make soup AND constantly adding/taking away blankets to regulate ik's temperature, all while solomon sits by the bed and just takes the absolute mick out of him
the lighter ik's illness is, the more he hams it up - "i can't believe you've betrayed me, no humanity, like this...... you of all demons, lucifer....", and lucifer (who is getting Stressed) is one more quip away from just yelling "SHUT THE FUCK UP" at him
meanwhile in the ddvd au, lucifer still starts out being Very serious and business-like about it, but the longer little ik spends sick, the more his ruthless efficiency just COMPLETELY deteriorates
zhao: i think you should have a lie down dear
lucifer, who has been awake for seventy hours straight and has begun haunting himself with the idea that the fever may never go down:
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kindnessoverperfection · 1 year ago
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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whimsiwitchy · 2 months ago
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Controversially Young Girlfriend (part four)
series masterlist & main masterlist
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Hugh Jackman x popstar!reader 
summary: y/n is a globally beloved pop star. She is known for her talent and dedication towards her craft. Recently, she has also been known for her preference for older men. After a breakup with her former older boyfriend, she had a run in with the hottest dilf right now, Hugh Jackman. Y/n tried to warn him, but what can she say, she has an effect on hot, older men. 
warnings: age gap (23/55), cursing, y/n used, implied shorter reader, afab reader, she/her pronouns, sexual themes, fighting (verbal).
warnings will change as the story progresses! all descriptions of real people in this story are FAKE. I do not know these people and this is purely fiction. Please let me know if I missed anything!! <3
authors note: I don’t have much to say other than enjoy! Please leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments or message me! I’d love to hear what you have to say <3
part four: friends for now?
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Hugh let you drag him through the club by your intertwined hands. The crowd seemed to be never ending as you walked through, trying to make it to the bar. A few people stopped you along the way to congratulate you and give their praises, but the night no longer felt special. It didn’t even feel like these people were here for you. They were just strangers attending a random party. Most of them already way past tipsy and probably wouldn’t remember anything in the morning. When the bar was in sight, you did a quick scan of the area. In the right corner, you saw a small, tall table that had two tall stools, perfect. 
“Heyyy y/n! I’ve been looking for you!” Ashley yells over the music with a big smile on her face. You don’t miss the way she glances back at Hugh. “Where have you been?” She asks and you can hear the accusation that’s hidden behind her words. Hugh squeezes your hand and it makes you realize just how close he is to you, the front of his body a whisper away from touching the back of yours. “I’ve been making the rounds. I was looking for you but kept getting stopped along the way.” You’re yelling back at her, trying to sound alive and bubbly by letting a laugh out at the end. You weren’t sure if she bought it. Ashley gives you a look that tells you she doesn’t. “We were gonna grab a drink, you wanna come?” You offer her but she shakes her head. “No, I have one over there.” She points to a group of girls sitting at a larger table that sits on the left side of the bar. “I’ll see you later okay?” She leans to give you a quick hug and she notices the point of contact between Hugh and yourself. “Don’t be stupid y/n.” She whispers in your ear and leans back from the hug with a smile. “Love you!” She’s yelling this time as she walks away. Her comment made your chest burn. You could tell that she thought something more was happening between Hugh and yourself but he saved you. He helped you get away from Pedro and she had no right to be accusatory. 
This night kept getting worse, the only thing keeping you from going home and leaving your own party was the warmth of Hugh’s hand. The warmth suddenly vanished, Hugh letting go of your hand for the first time since he helped you off of the couch in the backroom. He pulled back one of the stools for you and offered his arm to hold as you climbed up to sit. Your foot faltered slightly, causing your leg to buckle, but Hugh was quick to grab your waist to stabilize you. “Thank you.” You say again. 
“Do you want a drink?” He asks julting his thumb towards the bar behind him. 
“Oh! I'll take a pop my cherry margarita please.” You smile, voice full of excitement. Hugh lets out that rich man laugh that you haven't heard since the day you met him. 
“A WHAT?” He’s still laughing, it’s so contagious that your own laughter slips past your lips unexpectedly. 
“Pop my cherry margarita. It’s a real thing!” You explained to him that you wanted to create a drink menu that matched the album song titles. It was the one detail you really had a say in. “I thought they were handing out pamphlets at the door that explained that. Did you not get one?” Hugh’s eyebrows furrowed but they relax just as fast as he pulled a folded up pamphlet from his back pocket. You gasp dramatically. 
“You didn’t read it?” Your voice held a joking tone but you couldn’t help but feel a ping of hurt within your chest at the thought of him not taking the time to at least skim over the silly little paper. 
“I was looking for you when I first got here.” He admits shyly, an emotion you didn’t know Hugh was capable of having. He was always so confident and loud, never shy. It was cute. 
“Well in that case, you are forgiven.” His words made your heart swell. 
“I’ll be right back.” He gives your shoulder a light squeeze and walks over to the bar. 
Taking a look around the room, you’re glad that people are enjoying themselves. Your album only has three more songs to play before you’d have to go back on stage to give your thanks again. The club was booked all night, meaning that everyone was welcome to stay until it closes at two am. You didn’t plan to stay that late and after the events of the night, you weren’t sure if you’d stay any longer than your second ‘speech’. You glance back over to Hugh. He’s leaning on the counter, making conversation with the bartender. He was so charismatic, easily falling into conversation with anyone he met. You were certain that there wasn’t a person in the world that disliked him, he was the definition of likable. The reality of the situation was starting to settle more clearly now that your mind wasn’t clouded by the brief altercation with Pedro. Hugh hadn’t left your side since the moment he found you, he helped you collect yourself, and now he was ordering you a drink. You weren’t sure what this meant for him- you knew exactly what it meant for you. All of his acts of kindness were starting to overfill the file in your head labeled ‘big fat crush on Hugh Jackman’. 
“Here you are, one pop my cherry margarita.” He slides the glass in front of you and sits in the stool across from you. The drink is a bright red with a silver shimmer throughout. Two cherries sat on the top of the ice with a lime hugging the sugar lined rim. You took a sip, the tequila a little too strong for your liking, but the sweetness of the cherry and the slight hint of lime was refreshing.  “Mhmm that’s good. What'd you get?” You ask while squinting at his drink. “Slut me out martini?” He says unsure. You laugh. “Hm. Slut me out is probably my favorite song off the album, a good ‘ol dirty martini fits the vibe of the song.” He takes a sip and nods. “Hey.” You say to catch his attention again. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to actually listen to the album. You’re probably disappointed, given you’re such a big fan and all.” You’re mostly joking, the only sincerity being behind the fact he didn’t get to do what he came here to do. What you invited him here for. “Stop apologizing sweetheart.” He grunts out giving you a pointed look. 
“I did hear the first few songs, they were really good.” He says, taking a sip of his martini. 
“Just good?” You question. It looks like he thinks for a moment before speaking. 
“They’re surprising.” He says slowly. “How so?” You’re quick to respond. 
“Just… didn’t expect it. It’s different from your other stuff, it’s seductive.” 
“Hm..are you seduced?” His eyes lock onto yours. Your tongue darts out to pull the straw that sits in your glass to your lips. You can see his eyes move down towards your lips as you suck on the straw. When his eyes match yours again, he’s repositioning himself on the stool and lets out a low chuckle. “You’re something else y/n.” He shakes his head and you hum in satisfaction. 
You glance over to the dancing crowd, eyes moving over the groups of people. You meet Stacy’s eyes and you can hear the buzz of the last song fill your ears. She started making her way towards you, disappearing every few seconds as she weaved through people. “Shit.” You mumble as you try to think of ways to get out of getting on stage and thanking everyone again. “What’s wrong?” Hugh’s voice was filled with concern, the same tone he had used earlier in the night. “Stacy..my uh.. my assistant, I guess, is making her way over here right now and I like really, really don’t wanna go up on that stage again.” You frown. You were being stubborn, you knew that. The smart side of your brain tried to tell you that it wasn’t professional to just leave your own event. 
“C’mon.” Hugh is standing up quickly, offering his hand once again. “Huh?” You asked him, confusion written all over your face. “I’m getting you out of here. Let’s go.” You look around the room one last time. Stacy is about ten feet away, stress present on her face. “Okay.” You grab his hand and he helps you down, his other hand instinctively meeting your waist. “Y/n! I needed you on the stage like three minutes ago!” Stacy yells across the lowering distance. Hugh tugs your hand and you follow. You’re trying your best to keep up with his long legs as he walks swiftly through everyone. He pushes open the door and flashing lights blind the both of you. Covering your face, you tried to block the paparazzi’s cameras, completely trusting Hugh to guide you through this all. Once you reach the small parking lot that sits on the left side of the building, Hugh is opening the passenger door for you and helps you in. He hurries over to the drivers side and drives off as fast as he can, escaping the leeches that are trying to take as many pictures as possible. “Oh my god, you’re literally a life saver.” You say, adrenaline rushing through your veins. Pulling out your phone from the small purse that’s been draped on your shoulder most of the night, you sent a quick text to Stacy, responding to the endless texts and calls you’ve received from her in the past five minutes. 
You: I’m sorry Stacypoo. I’ll explain later. Love you <33
You knew work Stacy would be mad at you for some time but once you explained everything, friend Stacy would understand. “Do you want me to take you home?” Hugh asks. “Yes please. I’m pooped.” You huff out and he chuckles. You connect your phone to the car bluetooth and set your address on the GPS. The silence in the car calmed your body down at a rapid rate. Exhaustion took over your body and you could feel the ache in your feet from the heels. You were only at the party for an hour, yet it felt like you had been there all night. Looking at the time, the clock read 11:30pm. Hugh was quiet and you were afraid you might have caused too much trouble for him. That he wouldn’t want to be around you again after this. “Thank you Hugh. Really, you totally made this night so much better.” Your head is leaning against the headrest and you roll it slightly to look over at him. The faint light coming from the street lights shined on his face dimly. He was so handsome. You wanted to tell him. “You don’t have to thank me. I enjoy your company.” He glances in your direction with a smile. The silence fills the space again.
 “Did you purposely wear a gray shirt to match my outfit?” You asked curiously. You meant to ask earlier but it slipped your mind. “What?” He’s smiling. “You heard me. Did you?” Your tone was teasing. “Maybe.” 
“Yes or no Hugh Jackman.” His name rolled off your tongue in a joking matter. You could've sworn you could see a slight blush but it was too dark in the car to tell. “Is this it?” He asks, pointing to your house. “Yea that’s me.” 
He pulls into the driveway and puts the car in park, cutting the engine. Hugh opens his car door to get out. “Oh! You don’t have to get out, it’s okay.” He ignores you, walking over to your side of the car anyways, closing the door once you’re out. You awkwardly walk up to your front door and search your purse for your keys. When you find them, you turn around to face Hugh. “Thank you for driving me home Hugh.” “No problem sweetheart.” He smiles warmly and you take a moment to take it in. Your eyes rake across every wrinkle in his face, showing the life he’s lived. His smile lines set deep into his cheeks and you can’t help but think how perfectly they suit him. His facial hair was just past a stubble but not quite filled out into his full beard yet. “I should get inside, don’t wanna keep you out any later.” Your voice is soft and you want to invite him in but you couldn’t. “Okay darling.” 
This crush on Hugh was something that felt deeper after tonight. If anything were to happen with him, you wanted it to be right. No rushing. The feeling was mature. Hugh was someone you didn’t want to lose, no matter how he fit into your life. It was a little scary to think about- how much you wanted him in your life. 
“Goodnight Hugh.” 
“Goodnight y/n.” 
You turn to unlock your door and just as you're twisting the handle, Hugh wraps his large hand around your arm. He gives you a small tug, urging you to turn around. “Y/n…” He speaks softly. “Yes?” He doesn’t say anything. “Hugh, are you okay?” His hand releases your arm, both hands coming up to cup your cheeks. His hands are rough. You can feel a few calluses along his hand, undoubtedly from the gym.  He’s searching your eyes but you're unsure what he’s trying to find. “Can I kiss you?” 
Oh. 
“Yes.” It’s barely audible, the only confirmation that he had heard you came from his lips meeting yours. The kiss was slow, soft, like he was afraid to move too much. Hugh’s lips melted into yours perfectly, dancing together in a rhythm that felt natural. He was bent down slightly to match your height, your heels aiding him. He was the one to break the kiss, you weren’t sure if you would have ever stopped kissing him if he didn’t pull away. You wanted to ask him so many questions, get into his head. You always had this impeding urge to know everything but you wanted to live in the sweetness of the moment. Hugh’s hands dropped from your cheeks and a small smile rested on his face. “Goodnight gorgeous.” He kisses the top of your head for the second time that night. “Goodnight..” You walked inside, standing half way out of the door, waving at Hugh as he drove away. 
You: text me when you get home so I know you got home safe! p.s. ur a good kisser.  
Walking around your house, you slowly stripped from your outfit, gathering your things to start your nightly routine as you waited for Hugh’s text. You hopped into the shower and thought about the crazy events that had happened in just a few hours. The kiss was something you hadn’t expected and it was killing you to not know what it meant for your relationship with Hugh. When you were brushing your teeth, your phone lit up on the bathroom counter. 
Hugh <3: Just got home. You’re not half bad yourself lol. 
You: really though, did you try to match my outfit? 
Hugh <3: Goodnight y/n… 
You: fine. I’ll get the truth out of you one day!! 
You: goodnight hugh! <3 
When your head hits the pillow, all you can do is think about the feeling of Hugh’s lips on yours, his hands on your face. You fell asleep with a smile on your face. 
The constant buzzing of your phone woke you up. It’s been going off for close to an hour and you tried your best to ignore it but the vibration under your pillow was starting to give you a headache. You winced at the brightness of the screen as your eyes adjusted to the light that invaded your eyeballs too suddenly. Squinting at the name, you let out a sigh. “Oh fuck me..” 
“Hi Stacy…” You say it sweetly, hoping it would ease whatever was coming your way. “Y/n, I need you to explain why the fuck you decided to run away from me last night.” Her voice is eerily calm, you’d prefer if she was yelling at you. “Oh yea…” You clear your throat. “So you know how when we started to plan the event, Pedro and I were still very much together?” You ask and she gives a short ‘yes’. “Well, when we had the last meeting, I completely forgot about him being invited already and forgot to take him off the list.” “Y/n, can you get to the point please, the label is on my ass right now trying to clear things up.” “Sorry…he uh.. Pedro showed up last night and he was mean Stacy. He kept saying how he wanted me back and he kept trying to grab me.” Your voice falters slightly. You couldn’t understand how Pedro, who was once so sweet and loving, had turned so cruel. “I’m so sorry y/n… I didn’t know, nobody knew.” You can hear the sympathy in her voice. “It’s fine, it’s over. I tried to stay, but I really wanted to leave. I’m sorry Stacy.” “It’s fine.” She sighs.
 “Have you been on your socials yet?” 
“No…why?” 
“Look at what I sent you.” 
You put her on speaker and open the text thread between Stacy and yourself. There were at least a hundred texts from her between last night and this morning. You click on a link she had sent and when you opened it, there was a picture from last night of Hugh and yourself leaving the party hand in hand. There were articles upon articles questioning if Hugh was your ‘new older fix’. There were also pictures of Pedro leaving the party with rumors of you cheating. It was all one big mess, but every single article seemed to agree on one thing:
Y/n L/n was a slut who liked older men. 
They weren’t completely wrong, you loved being with an older man, but you weren’t a slut, or a cheater, or a gold digger, or any other names they had called you. The rumors and name calling never bothered you but it always had a negative effect on the men in your life, even if they never got the shit end of the stick. It was why Pedro broke up with you and why everyone before him never wanted to make anything official, or even be seen with you. You felt so stupid for not telling Hugh that you needed to go out the back way, that he shouldn’t be seen leaving with you. Your dating life brought nothing but a bad reputation and you didn't want Hugh’s name involved in it. You're thankful that this article was centered on dragging you down and not Hugh. 
“Shit..” You whisper. “How mad are they?” You ask, referring to your management team. 
“They’re pretty pissed off. They keep nagging about how they warned you with Pedro. They’re worried about your image.” 
“God, I wish they would get over that already. It’s literally not that big of a deal.” Your irritation grew. It had always been something you hated about the industry, that they cared so much about minor personal details. As long as you were making music, making fans happy, and making them money- why does it matter who you’re seen with. You hated how much everyone ‘cared’ about what you did. 
“I know y/n, it sucks. I’ll try to get them calmed down and prevent any unnecessary meetings. I want you to focus on whatever you need to. Don’t stress yourself out about this.” “Thank you Stacy. I really am sorry if I got you into trouble last night.” 
“It’s okay. I understand why you did it and I’m glad you did something for yourself for once.” 
The rest of the conversation is short and ends with Stacy complaining about Mark, the guy from the meeting, was blowing up her phone. 
You needed to talk to Hugh as soon as possible. There were so many things that needed to be discussed: the paparazzi pictures, the kiss, what we are, can he handle being your controversially old boyfriend- if that’s even what he wanted. You couldn’t help but wonder if he had already seen the headlines, if his team was just as mad as yours. 
You: hi hugh! could we meet up and talk sometime today? 
Hugh <3: Of course darling. Just tell me a time and place and I'll be there. 
You: 3pm at my house? 
Hugh <3: See you then. 😀
The emoji he attached made you laugh, Hugh texted like your parents and it should make you cringe but it does the exact opposite. You sent him your address, not expecting him to remember where you live, and started to prepare for his visit. You had a few hours before the agreed upon time, allowing you to clean up around your house and get presentable. Not wanting to go overboard, you decided on a pair of black flared leggings and a dark green crew neck that had ‘New York’ across the chest. You could feel your nerves working up as the time ticked away, each minute that went by increasing your heart rate. You were sitting on the couch, when there was a knock on your door. Taking a peek through the peephole, you could see Hugh standing there. You opened the door wide and gave him a tender smile. “Hi sweetheart.” He greets you with his own warm smile. “Hi Hugh. Come in.”  You open the door wider and he slips past you, waiting for you to close the door. “You can take your shoes off here if you want, but you don't have to.” He slides them off and you lead him into the living room. You take a seat on the couch, smacking the cushion next to you with your hand, urging him to take a seat as well- he does. You don’t speak right away, trying to find the right words to say, what to talk about first. “You okay y/n?” His expression is full of worry.
“Have you seen the pictures or anything about last night?” 
“No…?” You can tell he’s confused and you don’t say anything. Instead, you open your phone to the link Stacy sent and hand it to him. His eyes are moving back and forth slowly as he reads and scrolls through it. When he's done, he hands the phone back to you and sighs. “This is what you wanted to talk about?” He asks. “Yea…and other things.” 
He sighs. “Y/n, I already told you I don’t care what other people say. I don’t think what these people are saying about us should matter.” 
“I don’t want to drag you into this mess though, Hugh. It’s not fair to you, especially when everything they’re saying are lies.” 
“That’s just the way those people make a living. It won’t matter in a week, everyone will forget and move on, so don’t worry about me baby, worry about yourself. They said some nasty things in there, don’t let that get to your head kid?” His hand rests on your thigh and scrunch up your face at the nickname. 
“Hugh, for moral reasons, you can’t call me kid when you kissed me just last night. It's weird.” Your voice switching from the previous unsure and scared to serious. He lets out a laugh and a quick sorry. His hand still rests on your thigh and you reach out to place your hand on his, fingers slightly intertwining at the awkward angle. “Why did you kiss me last night?” Your doe like eyes look up at him. “I wanted to.” His answer is too brief for your liking and you can tell he’s teasing. “Why did you want to?” You ask further. “You looked really pretty in your sparkly little outfit last night sweetheart. You always look really pretty, truthfully. There’s just something about you that draws me to you.” He confesses. “Yea?”  “Yea…It’s a little scary if i’m being honest, how drawn to you I am.” “I’m scared too, Hugh.” You admit. “I’m terrified that whatever this is or whatever it leads to is going to get taken away from me.” Your willingness to be this open shocks you, but this needs to be done right. You would put your fears behind you for him. He squeezes your hand. “What do you mean?” 
“I just feel like every time I get something good that makes me happy, it’s gone faster than I can enjoy it. I mean..with uh…with Pedro, everything was going great, I was so happy…and he just.. left. All because things got hard, because he cared too much about everything else. I was getting attacked consistently, but he couldn’t handle it. My happiness got shattered. I don’t want that to happen again, especially not with someone like you. It sounds insane, we only just met, but Hugh, I really like you.” 
“I really like you too y/n.” He smiles and leans forward. His lips are getting closer to yours and as much as you want to kiss him, you can’t, not yet. “Wait..” You put the hand that isn’t holding his hand on his chest, stopping him from moving forward. “What’s wrong baby. You don't wanna kiss me?” there's a cocky smirk on his face and it was the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen. His voice was smooth and seductive. “As much as I want to shove my tongue down your throat right now, I really wanna do this right.” His eyes widen slightly at your words. “Right?” He questions. “I wanna get to know you more and take it slow. I like you too much for this to be rushed and ruined.” “Hmm. I can work with that, but just to be completely sure, you don’t want to kiss me?” The smirk is back. “God..you’re too hot for your own good.” You grab his neck and pull him into you. You kiss him with as much passion as possible, it would be the last one for a while, until time passes and these feelings are certain. His tongue slithers across your bottom lip and you pull back from the kiss. “You’re really testing your luck Jackman.” You laugh and he shrugs. 
“Is waiting okay with you? I don’t want you to feel pressured or tied to me in some way.” You’re playing with his long fingers. “That’s fine by me baby, I'll wait for you as long as I need to.” He leans back into the couch. 
“Friends for now?” You ask. 
“Friends for now.” He nods.
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Thank you for reading <33
part five
series taglist: @chronicallybubbly @spideybv28 @pear-1206 @robertthehoover @reidsworld @bloody-bunni666 @quillycrow @kythefangirl25 @bluetimeombre @cskidjgsjaoaknayan52782 @thewiselionessss @annagraceevanss @peterparkernotfound @rogueinmymind @samsamsantos @wolviesgirl @white-wolf-buckaroo @weskerussy @marvelgirlie-4 @honey-ros3ss @nonamevenus @nizem8 @chaimshelii @rockerchick05 @starryeddie @saylak @haytchee @godlypresley @mega-kittyglitter-1 @acescutejeans-1247 @bethexo07
if you want to be added/removed please leave a comment on this post! *let me know if I missed anyone or if the tag doesn't work*
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erenjaegerwifee · 3 months ago
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Summers In Pandora 🌸 Day 6 - Choking
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Paring: Aonung x Fem!Sully!Reader
Summary: Aonung just loves you so much he can't wait.
Warnings: MDNI 18+, choking, rough sex, impatient Aonung, secret relationship.
Word Count: 1.2k
Index: Tsahik - Na'vi spiritual leader, marui pod - huts the Metkayina live in.
Disclaimer: All my chracters are aged-up! If that makes you uncomfortable please don't read or interact with my post.
Main M.list | Event M.list
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“Hey y/n!” you heard someone shout for you, you spin around to see aonung running up to you, it instantly put a smile on your face, “oh, hey aonung whatsup?” he sported a smirk as he came to a stop in front of you, “Are you busy?” he asked gesturing to the basket on your hip.  
“No just have to take this for your mom then I’m done, why?” you smile as you walk towards Tsahik mauri pod. Aonung always had a way of sorting you out from other people, it always made your heart flutter, even when you had just arrived with your family, he was never mean to you. He taught you without the need to insult you like he did your other siblings, you never understood why until one night he expressed how much he wanted you, successfully had you laid out on your back until the next morning.  
Your relationship is not public, you family has no idea you’re under him any chance you get and neither does his, they have a feeling you like each other but it has never gone further than that. Aonung does however use you to tease your brothers when things get heated between them. Even if they are now friends, they still tend to fight a little more than you’d want for someone you liked so much.  
“Oh, nothing really I just, had the rest of the day I was hoping you would come out to the islands with me?” he smiles his charming smile at you. “Hm, I guess I could run away from a while...” you lead him on as you dropped of the basket and you both fan off. 
People have gotten used to seeing you both run wildly through the weaved paths, something about you just gravitated to him, you’ve not sure if it’s his tall stature or his muscular body, you have always found aonung extremely attractive. You told him you wanted to make a quick stop at your marui before you both left wanting to change into something more comfortable.  
You are the oldest Sully between your siblings being the same age as aonung at 20 years old. You were sort of mad when your parents had Neteyam but he quickly grew on you, they all did. Because you are an adult, you no longer live with the rest of your family, having your own marui now. You walk in and aonung follows you in, he shut your entrance flap behind him and immediately wrapped his arms around your slim figure. He buried his head in your neck kissing your skin, you always liked the way he dragged his fangs across your skin, “aonung stop, we can’t do this hear...” 
“Baby I spend every night here doing much worse than this to you” he chuckled as you melt into him letting him suck some fresh purple marks on your neck, “that’s different nung, everyone else is asleep at night” you giggle as his tongue tickled the stop.  
You try to walk away from him but he wrapped his palm around your throat keeping you close to his body. You gasp at the feeling, aonung has never done something like this to you but the way our body melted into him tilting your head back to hit his shoulder.  
You moan when his lips meet your neck again. His grip tightens as he runs his lips up to the base of your ear tugging on the earring he recently gave you. “Yea baby, but you like it regardless. And you’ll be quiet won’t you? Be a good girl yea?”  
His words make you shiver as you gave into him. The hand that wasn’t around your neck moved down your body to your hips squeezing the flesh before he moved it down to your covered cunt. Aonung’s finger circled your clit speeding up progressively. He made your loincloth wet with his actions. “Fuck yea, please don’t stop”  
“hmm wasn’t planning on it look at you cumming in your loincloth” he whispered in your ear. Your legs started to give out on you while you were coming and you leaned back on his body falling to the floor moaning. Aonung didn’t let you fall though, he held up for weight in his arms as he had you shiver. You’ve never been with a man who made you feel so good before it was surreal for you.  
He picked you up and walked you to your bed where he laid you on your back. Aonung untied your loincloth while you snuggled into you pillows looking up at him. He looked down at you with a smirk, “still want me to stop?” He asked as he untied your top tossing it to the side. Aonung face came down to your breast and kissed between them before tugging on your nipples with his fangs.  
Your body shivered as you felt him kiss down your body giving leaving light purple marks all over your skin. You tap his shoulder pulling his body above yourself and kissed him deeply. One of your hands drifted down his body feeling the rigid muscles under your finger tips. He was so build up and sexy, you couldn’t stop looking at him when you weren’t thinking about how good he fucks you most of the time. 
“No, no don’t stop baby” you said between kisses. You felt him smile on your lips which made your smile as you make out. Your hand made it down to the bulge in his loincloth and you squeezed his covered cock. One of aonung’s hands came up to your face holding your cheeks together as he progressively lost his composure. Even thought he is above you, it was always so hot to see him moan under your touch. It always made you feel so good when he told you that you’re the best he ever had.  
“Fuck y/n…take it off” he said in a strained voice that was also muffled on your lips. You licked  his lip getting access into his mouth and you both starting fighting for dominance. Your hands moved to untie his loincloth tossing it to the side and going right back down the stroke his cock. You broke the kiss to look down at it, it was always so pretty. “Such a pretty cock love, fuck me with it pleaseee” you begged him. “Fuck such good manners on you sweet thing” Aonung lined himself up to your cunt and thrusted into you harshly. He knew just how to make you cum so good every time. One of his hands came to your neck choking you down into the bed.  
Your head was spinning feeling his rough thrust and him choking you. His big hand wrapped she perfectly around your little throat it was so fucking hot. You could hardly breath feeling the way his cock pounded into your cunt. He was so close to making you cum on his cock. “Fuck, fuck, fuck” you chanted as he pounded you.  
“Gonna cum, I-I’m gonna cum baby!!” You screamed. Aonung smirked and fucked your harder making you gush in his cock and thighs. You scream his name pushing him over the edge cumming in your tight cunt. He let go of your throat bringing his lips down to kiss and suck on his finger prints that are now on your skin. You giggle as you feel him tickle your skin with light kissed and hug up around his neck as he whispers into your skin, “always do so good for me baby” 
You don’t think you’ll ever find a better man than Aonung.  
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🌸idk why I took so long to write but I feel like I could have don’t better here. Never the less I hope you all enjoyed reading!
🌸 Reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated!
Taglist:
@rivatar @delusionalwh6re @strongheartneteyam @nilahsstuff @inlovewithpandora @neteyamsoare @m1tsu-ki @kylimarz @teymars @xylianasblog
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flwrkid14 · 1 month ago
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Falling for the One You Can’t Have
Jason had never been one to catch feelings easily, especially not in Gotham’s mess of a world where life moved too fast, too unpredictably. But it started small—just another rescue, another guy in the wrong place at the wrong time. A witty joke here, a grateful smile there, and soon, Jason found himself seeking out the boy who seemed to be Gotham’s favorite target for muggings and kidnappings.
Danny, the guy with a laugh that rang through the night and eyes that always sparkled with a mischievous glint, had become a small, unexpected light in Jason’s world. Sure, Jason wasn’t some lovesick idiot—he told himself that constantly. But each time he saved Danny, the witty banter and the easy way they fell into conversation made him feel something more. Slowly but surely, the small crush grew.
He started to look forward to bumping into Danny, even if it was because of yet another mugging or hostage situation. Jason would stick around for a little longer after each rescue, tossing casual remarks, feeling his heart beat a little faster every time Danny laughed at one of his jokes. The thought of asking Danny out had crossed his mind more than once, but it wasn’t like he’d ever had great luck with relationships. Maybe he’d try, though—eventually. He just needed to figure out how to do it without making things awkward.
Then Tim called for a family dinner.
Jason wasn’t exactly thrilled about it. Family dinners weren’t his scene to begin with, and the fact that Tim insisted this one was important only made him more reluctant. But, Tim was family, and it wasn’t like Jason was doing anything else that night. So he dragged himself there, expecting the usual chaos of a Wayne family gathering.
When he arrived, Jason immediately felt something was different. Tim had this weird glint in his eye, like he was excited about something. That was never good. Jason kept his usual distance, sitting near the back, arms crossed, trying not to be annoyed by whatever announcement Tim was about to make.
But then Tim stood up, calling everyone’s attention to the middle of the room. “Hey, thanks for coming, everyone. I have someone I want to introduce to you all. He’s really important to me and has been for a while now.” Jason perked up a little, curiosity getting the better of him. That’s when Tim said it: “This is Danny, my boyfriend.”
Jason felt the floor drop out from under him.
And there, standing beside Tim, was Danny—his Danny, the guy Jason had been saving, the one he’d been building up the courage to ask out. He looked just as charming and witty as ever, smiling brightly at everyone. Jason couldn’t move. He couldn’t think. All he could do was watch as Danny wrapped an arm around Tim and introduced himself to the rest of the family.
It felt like a punch to the gut.
Jason tried to steady his breathing, his hands clenched under the table. He couldn’t break down here, in front of everyone. He had to be cool, calm—just like always. But inside, his heart was shattering. How long had they been together? How had he not known?
When Danny’s gaze met Jason’s, his eyes lit up in recognition. “Oh hey! You’re Red Hood, right? You’ve saved me a bunch of times—thanks for that! I swear, I’m a total danger magnet. Usually Tim’s around to keep me out of trouble, but he’s been busy with Wayne Enterprises stuff lately, so it’s nice to have someone else watching my back.”
Jason nodded numbly, forcing a tight smile. “Yeah, no problem,” he mumbled, his throat tight.
It was worse than Jason could have imagined. Danny had been saving all his love for Tim—Tim, of all people. His younger brother, the one Jason was supposed to protect, the one who had swooped in and taken the one person Jason had allowed himself to care about. Not that Tim knew, of course. No one knew. And Jason couldn’t blame him—he couldn’t blame anyone.
As the dinner progressed, Jason tried to tune out the couple’s affectionate gestures. The way Danny laughed at Tim’s jokes, the soft touches between them, the way they looked at each other like no one else in the world mattered. Each moment felt like a knife twisting deeper into Jason’s chest.
He actively avoided joining in on any conversation with them, keeping his head down and avoiding eye contact. He couldn’t bear to see the love in Danny’s eyes when he looked at Tim, knowing that it would never be directed at him. That dream—the one where Jason had imagined maybe asking Danny out, maybe finding some happiness for himself—it was gone. Shattered.
All Jason could do now was smile through the pain, pretend everything was fine, and show his support for Tim. For both of them. Because that’s what family did, right?
But deep down, it hurt like hell.
Jason excused himself as soon as he could, slipping away from the table before the dinner had even finished. He couldn’t stand to see the two of them any longer. Once outside, he let out a shaky breath, leaning against his motorcycle and staring at the sky.
Jason was always the one saving people. But this time, there was no one to save him from the aching void in his chest.
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proxycrit · 9 months ago
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Elesa climbs to celestial tower to ring the bell. Emmet, stuck in between the distortion world, finds his way home.
Part 1/ Part 2
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The conductor falls, down, down, down.
“What’s my name?” He calls to the abyss in terror (what is terror?)
He’s a singular being, right? (That’s not right. He’s one of a pair.)
The abyss gazes back. It has no answers to give, in its multitude.
Not to someone that’s so, so alone.
———
Somewhere else, one Elesa of Nimbasa rings the Celestial Tower’s Bell, over and over. Her companion, Chandelure, keeps watch.
Nothing happens.
Elesa’s stomach sinks. The reverberations of Celestial Tower’s brass bell mocks her in its echo. The vibrations of it’s distortion only makes the tears she tries to hold at bay worse.
In the blur of her failure, she sees chandelure’s flames suddenly die. Part of her panics.
The rest of her is apathetic and numb.
What’s the point? It didn’t work. Elesa closes her eyes. Tries to swallow, and fails. She’s so tired. She’s so, so tired. The deal with Azelf, the media storm she’s weathered, the constraints of her job, the almost loss of chandelure-
Emmet has been gone for three months. Ingo has been gone even longer.
They have gone where she can’t follow.
Elesa, the ghost whispers in her head. Elesa shakes her head in denial. She doesn’t want to plan right now. She wants to curl into herself, and disappear, just for a bit.
Elesa!
“I can’t do this,” she croaks. The sob in the back of her throat bubbles outwards. She wants Zebrstika. She wants Skyla. She wants her friends.
The paliphet Azelf forced her forward. It permeates her thoughts, drowning out logical thought.
(Too much willpower, and it will become an obsession, Azelf had warned her once in Ingo’s voice. And then, in Emmet’s voice: And when you fail, it willll break you. And finally, in her own voice: you will not have a choice but to move forward, with this curse.
I accept, elesa and told it back in the lake.)
I’m so tired, Elesa thinks now, two months later.
But she keeps moving forward. The bell rings again as Elesa strikes it, with all the hurt and rage and longing forced by her own hand into her soul-
-And that’s when chandelure screams, and there is a terrible rolling crack, and Elesa feels the sudden lurch in her gut as she looks up, her apathy torn into shreds as-
The sky tears open in a fractal wave.
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Elesa gapes.
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She can not comprehend the sudden black webbing across the sky. In the distance, sirens suddenly start wailing as people stop to perceive the impossible.
But Elesa does not care, because in that moment, the wrench in her gut is so great she almost staggers off the platform. Chandelure is by her side in an instant, her glass body a warm comfort to the sudden chill, because-
Something white is falling.
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Elesa’s doesn’t know what she yells. But the tug in her chest feels like the beat of a drum, and she is helpless to the melody that calls for action.
Azelf’s blessed takes a leaping step forward, off the building. Chandelure lets out a panicked chime and the warmth of psychic cradles Elesa as she reaches out, arms outstretched, falling and flying and-
And Emmet, sparking with white electricity, reaches back.
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NOTES:
AU’s Salvaging the Ship of Theseus! Everybody has a Bad Time. (Emmet and Eelektross go to Hisui and learn about the joys of the distortion world. Elesa hunts legends and makes bad deals. Ingo babysits some sneaslets.)
Backstory and explanation:
Prior this scene, Emmet was travelling Hisui with Eelektross before he falls through a mirror and becomes lost in the distortion world for a month. Elesa and Chandelure, meanwhile, refuse to give up on their remaining friend. (Ingo’s fine! He’s in Hisui right now trying to get fired so he can go searching for his memories. Eelektross is… less fine. We will Worry about That Later.)
Disclaimers: Everything’s a work in progress and subject to change!
Part 2!
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cinnajun · 1 year ago
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ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: zb1 as your boyfriend
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a/n: these get progressively longer the more you go on and that’s my bad, i’m just insane over this group idk …
notes: long hair is implied in jiwoong’s, yujin is not included due to his age!, i did not proofread this so sorry for typos
wc | 3.5k
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jiwoong
i think this would be so much fun in the like adult way … like doing taxes together and watching tv shows
dating jiwoong means SETTLING DOWN!!! this is for the long run for real
in all seriousness i think being jiwoong’s s/o means you will feel very secure at all times
he isn’t interested in anyone but you … like seriously
looks at you like you’re the only person on the planet when you’re out and about
if anyone hits on him, he shuts it down SO fast that you’ll barely have time to process what happened
in terms of love languages, i’d say his is probably acts of service in both giving and receiving
there’s no better way to show him that you love him than taking care of little chores around the house (especially the ones he usually does) or picking up some toothpaste when he’s running low
in the same way, he loves to do those things for you—he really appreciates the way you smile when you find out he did the dishes for you <;<3
overall, a very sweet relationship, and a very very long-term one
IT’S ALMOST LAUGHABLE how gentle Jiwoong is as he braids your hair, pulling each strand off your head with such precision and cautiousness that you’d think he was braiding strands of pure gold. Weddings were long events, and you’d noticed that, every time you went to one, you ended up with a million knots in your hair that you had to spend extra time brushing out after.
So, Jiwoong had the bright idea to braid your hair—and insisted he do it for you, so that you wouldn’t have to keep your arms raised for so long, or something. You just didn’t think he’d try this hard at it.
“You can go a little faster, you know,” you said, painting your eyelashes with mascara. “If you go any slower, we’ll be late to the ceremony.”
“We can just sit in the back,” he mumbled, continuing to put one strand over the other. “I need to make sure it’s well-done so it doesn’t just knot your hair even worse than leaving it down does.”
You sighed, a little smile appearing on your face. “Whatever makes you happy,” you sighed, continuing to put on your mascara. “Who am I to say no?”
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zhang hao
i feel like the most prominent part of dating zhang hao is trying to figure out how you scored him LOL
i mean look at him … he's so perfect it’s almost painful
and he’s such a good boyfriend that literally all of your friends are so jealous … and he’s the only guy they haven’t called ugly so that’s a plus LOL
i will say though dating him has to mean you’re really comfortable with yourself because just about everyone shoots their shot with him
obviously he turns them down but he’s too nice to do it in a way where they’ll actually be scared off (cough jiwoong cough)
he’s very loving and very appreciative, and loves hearing about everything you do
tbh he just loves you
his love language is definitely physical touch, but in the like sweetest way possible
he holds your hand and swings it around when you’re out and about, he leans his head on your shoulder when you watch movies, he puts his head in your lap when you’re sitting on the couch…
and he always stares at you, which is super nerve-wracking, but he just loves you so much that he can’t help it
seriously has heart eyes for you
IT’S NOT ALWAYS that your mom calls, but you supposed today just had to be the day. As much as you love her, she tends to talk your ear off, which is something you’d rather not deal with at a random time in the middle of your day. Nevertheless, it was better to get it over with now rather than later.
Hao had been napping with his head on your lap when she called, and you’d hoped that would be a good excuse to hang up. Except, when you pleaded with your mom, telling her that Hao was sleeping and you didn’t want to wake him, she insisted that she needed to talk to you right then. So, for the past twenty minutes, you’d been listening to her talk about her knitting club while you ran your hand through his hair.
You’d also failed to notice that Hao had been awake since before she’d even called. Initially, he just wanted a few more seconds laying on you before you kicked him off (because your thighs were cramping and you needed to stretch), but he’d been pleasantly surprised when your attention was stolen by the phone call.
So, when you looked down and saw him staring at you oh-so-lovingly, you choked on air, causing your mom to frantically ask you what was wrong. All the while, he stared at you, wondering how he managed to find you (but shouldn’t you be asking that)?
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hanbin
if you’re feeling unloved, just date hanbin and he will fix it right up for you
he is an endless pit of love and is just waiting to give it to someone (that someone happens to be you)
you’re like 90% sure he popped out of a cheesy romance novel and wandered straight to your door but i digress
everything about this guy is so pleasant that it’s almost nauseating
his mom, how clean his bedroom is, how much he happens to enjoy cooking, how much he loves all the things you suggest as date ideas, it’s so much that your friends are suspicious that he’s hiding something incredibly unforgivable
he’s not, though, he’s just like that
and he just happened to be truly, madly, deeply in love with you so congrats on that one!!!
hanbin’s love language is also physical touch (shocker)
he’s super clingy, especially when you go out together, and has to have a hand on you at all times (if you get separated it will literally ruin his day)
really loves to cuddle with you…for example, if you decide to take a nap without him, you will wake up wrapped in his impossible to escape koala hug
he also loves kisses. forehead kisses, cheek kisses, all kisses … he especially loves it when you kiss his tattoos
he gets super enamored with you when you give him the same energy back, so try that out, too
EVERY DAY, YOU GET HOME from work around the time Hanbin’s decided to start dinner, and, every day, you attempt the same little prank. Slowly, you enter your home, trying to stay as quiet as possible.
The sound of the nightly news fills your ears, and the smell of whatever Hanbin decided to make attacks your nose. As subtly as possible, you put your bag and keys down on a dresser you have in the entryway, removing your shoes and tiptoeing through the house as quietly as possible.
As usual, Hanbin’s back is facing the doorway, and he’s hunched over the stove, fiddling with whatever he’s making. You tip-toe run up to him, bumping into him and wrapping your arms around his waist. He giggles, as usual, and puts his hands on your arms.
“Hi,” you say into his back, which prompts him to turn around in your embrace, staring down at you with the most loving expression he could muster up.
And, placing a kiss on the crown of your head, he says, “I missed you.”
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matthew
CUTE BOYFRIEND!!!
matthew is like so clueless in a relationship and he’s just kind of winging everything, which makes him about 70% funnier
you’ll be out shopping and he’ll pick something up, usually a trinket of sorts, look you dead in the eyes, and say, “is this something people get for their partners?”
if you say yes, it will magically appear in your bedroom like 4 days later and he’ll be oh-so proud of himself
your parents LOVE matthew, to the point where you begin to wonder if they like him more than they like you
it’s nice, though, because they’re more willing to help pay for your utility bill if they know matthew’s benefitting from it too LOL
he’s such a sweet boyfriend that sometimes you like need to stop and put your phone down
his love languages are words of affirmation on the receiving end and gift giving on the giving end
when you’re away from one another, he texts you selfies along with cute little summaries of what he’s doing and absolutely expects you to do the same
also sends good morning/good night texts if he can’t say it in person for whatever reason
also has some like tiktok-worthy beige flags (the comments say they’re all green flags)
like he asks you what your ring size is like once a month and then comes home with ring pops and goes “i had them custom made to fit your finger”
and you’re like “omg matthew i can’t believe you would do that for me!!!”
MATTHEW’S HANDS ARE poorly covering your eyes as he leads you to this mystery-location that he’d spent the entire day hyping up. He swore it was going to absolutely blow you away, and had even said that you’d be at a loss for words.
“We’re almost there,” he said, excitement dripping from his words. “Be careful, there’s a couple of steps here.”
You did your best to ascend without face planting, although it was a bit difficult given that Matthew was unknowingly rushing you due to his excitement. “Okay, are you ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
In a flash, he removed his hands from your eyes, and it takes you a second to realize what you’re staring at. It’s a table cutely decorated for some sort of picnic, with string lights overhead and a candle burning on the table. You realize you’re in your parents backyard pretty quickly, but the thing that really has you confused is the teddy bear sitting on the edge. It looks exactly like the one you carried around as a kid, albeit much cleaner—but you’d lost it when you were 10.
“I tore apart your house looking for it,” Matthew said, putting his head on your shoulder. “Mr. Tumnus, right? Like the Narnia character? He was behind the couch. I got him cleaned, too. Do you like it?”
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taerae
swoon
UGHHHH taerae is so perfect
like he’s totally the boy next door, locker neighbor, church boy type of boyfriend
he asked you out on valentine’s day with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a box of like really pretty chocolate-covered strawberries and you’ve been whipped since
you’re both wrapped around each other’s fingers in the most severe way possible
you’re also definitely like a married couple, specifically a couple of grandparents who’ve been retired for like 30 years
you probably share a friend group, and everyone in the group considers you two the parents of the group (you’re the dad)
almost always, you have a third wheel, but that’s fine because you and taerae are good at making sure it’s not awkward (which is why people always want to come on your dates)
taerae’s love language is definitely quality time
more often than not you’re both doing something completely separate from one another and he doesn’t care, he just likes knowing that you’re around
i don’t see him being the touchiest person, even in a relationship, so spending time together is the only thing taerae needs to feel loved. if you never blow him off and spend all of your free time just sitting next to him, he’ll be entirely pleased forever and ever
SOMETIMES, YOU FORGET that Taerae is in the room with you, which tends to be more embarrassing than you’d have wanted it to be.
Once, early in your relationship, he’d come over and you’d been spending time in your room. Except, hours had passed without you saying a word to each other, and you’d forgotten he was even there in the first place. You were so engrossed in your latest craft project, attempting to crochet, that he’d blended into the scenery of your bedroom.
So, when you kept messing up on a particular stitch, you found it fit to stand up and absolutely scream at the top of your lungs. When you got done, you planned to sit down and keep doing, but you heard Taerae laugh nervously behind you, causing you to freeze up.
“Uh, what was that?”
You turned around, staring at him with what could only be described as horror written on your face. You stared at one another in complete silence for what felt like hours, although in reality it must’ve been no more than five or six seconds.
“I forgot you were here,” you finally choked out, feeling heat rush to your cheeks. Taerae just laughed, and it only made you feel more miserable.
“You’re adorable, you know?”
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ricky
ricky is such a sweet boyfriend
even if he’s a bit awkward at times he’s so nice to be around
i think he just cares about you so much that he fluctuates in the same way that you do…if you’re happy, he’s happy, if you’re sad, he’s sad, etc…
at the same, he’s always completely panicked that he is not doing enough for you
he constantly checks in to make sure that you are getting what you need from him, and, while he wouldn’t say it aloud, he appreciates it when you do the same
he doesn’t like conflict so he pretty much does anything he can to get rid of the problem before it happens
as such, if he finds out anything upsetting, he will approach you about it instantaneously
i think ricky’s love language is gift giving, though, both on the receiving end and on the giving end
whether it’s an origami flower made out of a receipt you got or a pretty necklace you found while out and about with friends, ricky treasures it like it’s his child
almost every gift you’ve gotten him is displayed in his room somewhere, like he’s got a whole shelf dedicated to things that you gave him …
all of his gifts are incredibly well thought out too even if they’re last minute
he also tends to just give you anything that you express literally any interest in
you like the hat he’s wearing? okay it’s yours now
“no i mean that i like it on you!!”
he doesn’t care it’s yours now
THANKS TO A FAMILY VACATION, you hadn’t been able to see Ricky for a week, which had been the end of the world for both of you. So, the moment you got back home, you ditched the comfort of your room to head straight to his house.
The moment he opened his front door, you collapsed into his arms, taking in the scent of his cologne mixed with the smell of laundry detergent coming from his sweater. Then, you realized that the sweater he was wearing was new.
You leaned back to get a better look at it, taking it in. “I like it!” you exclaimed, smiling up at him. He tilted his head in confusion, staring back down at you.
“Like what?”
“The new sweater.”
Without even skipping a beat, Ricky tugged it over his head, causing your mouth to drop open a bit. “Wait, no—”
Before you could finish your sentence, he’d pulled it over your head, and was waiting for you to put your arms through the sleeves. He smiled, happy with his sudden attack. “I knew you would, so I got two.”
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gyuvin
dating gyuvin is so much fun
you were probably friends before you started dating, so when you start dating, it’s like your friendship amped up 200% along with like some kissing and stuff LOL
he knows you inside and out, to the point where you wonder if he knows you better than you know you
he also definitely had a crush on you for a loooong time before he acted on it so he remembers little details you shared in passing from years in the past
as such he’s constantly taking you out on the most lovely dates you could possibly imagine
you mentioned you like hot chocolate two years ago on a friend group outing? well good news! gyuvin remembered and he’s taking you to a world-renowned cafe that’s specifically noted for its hot chocolate
you like barbie movies???? every single one is downloaded onto his computer. every one. and he knows which one is your favorite
i think gyuvin’s love languages are acts of service + quality time
he just likes doing things for you and he likes doing things with you too … he just likes you tbh
he’d be heartbroken if you ever said no to one of his meticulously planned out dates so make sure to never do that (his friends would also hate you instantly and being hated by sung hanbin AND park gunwook is terrifying so don’t do that)
strangely enough, when you reciprocate the energy and plan out intense dates based on little tiny information, he gets super flustered, so try it out if you can
THE FIRST THING that comes out of Gyuvin’s mouth when he comes into your living room is, “You remembered?”
You’re almost taken aback by the question, eyes widening the moment the words leave his mouth. He was asking you that? After he remembered every little detail about you, from your favorite episode of your favorite show to your favorite breed of dog?
“Of course I remembered that you like soccer. How could I forget that you like soccer?”
You’d set up a little mini-party for the both of you to watch the World Cup, equipped with snacks and a jersey for his favorite team. And, somehow, he was a blushing mess, as if he didn’t expect you to remember something so basic about him.
“I don’t know,” he mumbled, turning away from you as he turned beet red. “I just…I don’t know, I wasn’t expecting it.”
“Well, expect it more often,” you said, linking your arm with his, a bright smile on your face. “Cause I love you. And I love doing things for you.”
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gunwook
yea gunwook is definitely your first love and you’re really hoping he’ll be the last
you probably had some sort of super dramatic lead-up to you actually getting into a relationship, so you’re also probably super attached to each other by the first day you’re calling him “boyfriend”
even though he’s young, gunwook feels a lot of responsibility for everything in his life, so being with you is essentially his wind-down time
as a result you have a lot of sleepovers, which include doing facemasks and going to bed at like 9pm because he’s so tired
and you just generally spend a lot of time together because you’re an oasis in the middle of the desert for him
gunwook feels really proud that he gets to have the title of “your boyfriend,” so be prepared for him to call himself that a lot
it makes him all giggly and happy, which makes you all giggly and happy, so you’re pretty much giggly and happy 24/7
gunwook’s love language is absolutely words of affirmation
he’s under a lot of pressure (student council vice president, class president, like good lord he is leading the people) so he just wants to hear that he’s doing well, especially from someone he cares so much about
even just telling him that he’s doing his best will make him melt in a pile of i-love-you putty
and he makes sure to do the same for you :)
IT’S NOT OFTEN THAT Gunwook breaks under the pressure, but when he does, it breaks your heart, too. It’s inevitable that he loses his balance sometimes, given the fact that he often takes on way more than he can handle, but you’re always there to pick up the pieces.
“You need to go to bed,” you say as warmly as possible, placing a hand on his shoulder. He continues to write a flurry of numbers onto his paper, trying to fulfill his plans of finishing all his weekend homework so he could spend the majority of it hanging out with you. “You can finish tomorrow morning, okay?”
Gunwook stops, finally, leaning back in his chair. He looks up at you, a frown on his face, and you can tell that he’s starting to unravel. You cup his face in your hands, looking down at him with the calmest smile you can muster.
“You did a good job, tonight. And calculus will be there for you in the morning, okay?”
“Okay, okay. I’ll stop.”
You smile, a feeling of triumph overtaking you. “Thank you very much!”
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thank you for reading!
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venerawrites · 6 months ago
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Thanks for the headcanons of Itachi and the s/o who has illness🥰. Oh my god your writings are just awesome keep it up❤️💪
Can I request some headcanons of itachi,kakashi,naruto when their s/o is pregnant?🤭
author's note: oh my god, this has been sitting in my drafts forever! I have only one assessment left, so I finally have the chance to catch up with my requests! Thank you so, so much for your patience and for requesting! Hope you enjoy!
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➤ Itachi
I think I am going to disappoint a lot of you, but Itachi was definitely not happy when he first learned that his s/o was pregnant.
HEAR ME OUT PLS!
It is not that he is not loving his partner, but given everything that has happened to him and all the decisions he had to make throughout his life, he has promised himself that he would never have children. He didn't want to put them at risk, or worse, make them suffer because of his own mistakes.
The initial reaction was shock.
He was always so careful and they always used protection, so how did that happen??
I imagine he would leave for a few days just so he can clear his head and gather his thoughts.
Itachi is naturally a carer and also loves kids, so it doesn't take him long to come around. After a few days, he is already back to his s/o and they better believe he would not leave them for ANYTHING.
Very overprotective, sometimes quite unreasonable - even in the early stage of the pregnancy, he would insist on taking care of his s/o, cook for them, clean the house etc.
Does not like the idea of his lover leaving the house by themselves, mainly because he is paranoid that either Sasuke or any of his enemies would target them. He always accompanies them when they want to go out, and when he does, he keeps his arm wrapped around their back or shoulders.
As the pregnancy progresses, so do his worries, and if his s/o doesn't want to be overwhelmed by him, they have to set clear boundaries and let him know they need some space to breathe.
Totally a man who would deliver his baby at home!
The moment he heard his baby's cry, he started trembling. No one loves like the Uchiha after all, especially when it comes to their love for their children!
➤ Kakashi
Just like Itachi, for most of his life he was of the firm opinion he DOES NOT want kids.
His s/o, however, was the one that brought up the question at some point in their relationship, and since then he couldn't stop thinking about it.
When his lover told him they were pregnant he was surprised, but not shocked. With the amount of "practice" they were doing, it was bound to happen sooner or later.
I think internally he would be worried and stressing about his s/o, but he would try and act cool about it.
He would purchase dozens of books about pregnancy and would read them all the time. (including during missions and night outs with friends!) Guy and Kurenai would find it cute and would often discuss their own tips with him, while Genma and Anko would roll their eyes at their antics.
Knowing how important is for him to give space to his s/o, he would subtly help around the house, but would still let them go out on their own, do chores or if they are a ninja, even go to low-rank missions.
The more their belly grows, the more fascinated he becomes!
Very touchy - his hands are constantly on his s/o's belly, caressing it or sometimes just holding it.
Kakashi would do that only when his lover is asleep, but he is totally talking to his s/o's stomach and telling his baby random stories.
During the last months, he would also become quite overprotective.
He won't bother his s/o that much, but he won't allow anyone to get close to them, touch their stomach, or bother them for longer than few minutes.
Overall, very supportive and sweet partner, who is going to make his s/o's pregnancy as easy as possible, despite his own fear of failure.
➤ Naruto
0 clue about what's going on! 0!
At first he thinks it is exciting - having a baby is fun, right? You get to dress it, feed it, take it out... it is like playing with a doll!
Buys tons of clothes and toys literally a week after he found out his s/o is pregnant, despite not even knowing the gender yet. (yes, they had to return most of them!)
Comes with a ton of weird names for their little one, because he wants them to be 'unique'. Oinks, Huggy, and Nemar (which is just 'ramen' spelled backward!) were on the top of his list.
The first months are pretty nice and fun! When the hormones start to kick in, however...
I love Naruto, he is one of my fav boys, but I bet my soul that he is so annoying during his s/o's pregnancy!
He would not understand when he needs to give his s/o space and instead will be in their face 24/7. I imagine that he would also (try to) do some housework, but because he put only like 10% effort, his lover would have to constantly go after him and re-do it!
Lots of small petty fights!
Which would always end in Naruto bringing his s/o their favourite snack or takeaway, so it works out!
Very proud to be a future dad - he would go around the whole village, telling everyone how excited he is and how he can't wait to see the baby!
Not scared or nervous at all - he knows that in the end, everything is going to work out! Plus, he and his s/o are going to have each other, so why fear?
His s/o better be prepared to take care of TWO babies, because it would take a long time for this man to become serious and laid back!
cc artwork: Clement Tingry
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vampire-matcha · 9 months ago
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Part 4 of cheating!Soap. Simon's POV. Angst. Potentially ooc Simon.
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Simon Riley is a bad man. He wasn't given much of a choice really. He was dealt a bad hand that kept getting worse and worse. He tried to live a good life, despite his childhood, but it was all taken away from him in fire and blood. So he threw himself into it headfirst. He dove into it and found comfort in the fire and blood. He knew fire and blood. He's good at fire and blood.
Simon Riley is a lonely man. All his life, he's never had anyone. He keeps everyone he meets at arms-length at a minimum. He doesn't do love. He doesn't believe in it. The last time he tasted it was from his mother, and that taste has long since been replaced by the tinny taste of blood. He's comfortable being alone. He fills his time with work, and on the rare occasion he's sent back home to his barren flat in Manchester, the most he does is find a quick fuck at a pub.
He doesn't care about their names, he doesn't particularly care if they're a man or woman or something in between. He doesn't care what they look like, he hardly looks at them at all. They're just a means to an end for him. Just a warm hole to stuff himself into to feel good for a bit, to make his head quiet for a bit. He leaves once he's done. He never stays the night, never even stays much longer than to tie off his condom and pull his trousers back up.
It all changed when he met that damned spitfire of a man John MacTavish. Goes by the name 'Soap'. A ridiculous nickname in Simon's opinion, but then again, he goes by Ghost, so he doesn't have much room to talk.
Soap is loud and brash, but he can be careful and focused, too. He's intensely loyal and has a deep sense of justice. He fights for what's right, Ghost has seen it. He makes the icy shell around Ghost's heart melt, ever so slightly.
It's a slow progression, the way Soap draws Ghost into his orbit. Ghost doesn't even fully realize its happened until Las Almas. There was a moment when he thought he lost Johnny- when did Soap become Johnny? They had gotten separated and Ghost waited for him. Ghost never waited. But he couldn't, in that moment, hiding out in a church with a whole militia after him, even fathom leaving Johnny behind.
By the time Simon realized he loved Johnny it was too late. Johnny was married. Simon hadn't noticed that when he read Soap's dossier years ago. It must have happened in the time they had known each other. Simon had never pinned Johnny as someone to keep his cards so close to his chest like that, but he was proved wrong.
Johnny didn't wear his ring in the field. It was a liability, not just to have jewelry on in life-or-death situations, but also for anyone to see he was married, be it friend or foe. He didn't find out until after Chicago. It seemed that Soap's near-death experience at the top of a skyscraper had shaken him more than he'd let on. He'd snuck off at the bar to use the payphone and Ghost had followed.
"Hey, its me... Just needed to hear your voice, bonnie... No, no, I'm alright, just a wee bit banged up... Yeah, I miss you too, lovie... No I promise I'm alright. Just got a bit worried the whole 'til death do us part' thing was comin' sooner than expected... Sorry, bonnie... No, no, you're right, it's not funny. I'm sorry... I'll be home in a few days... Yeah... I'll see you then. I love you."
Simon hated you. He hated you and he didn't even know you. He didn't even know you existed and he hated you. Who were you? Some civilian? Some random woman who decided to shack up with Johnny? Probably just chasing valor or benefits or something. What could you possibly have to offer someone like Johnny? You could never understand him the way Simon does. Their bond is forged in fire and blood. You could never hope to understand it. They'd been through hell together. And yet you've wormed your way in between them. You, a woman he doesn't even know, have ruined everything. But Simon, ever the stoic sentinel, keeps it all under wraps with practiced patience. He didn't survive this long by letting his emotions control him. He'll figure out a way to fix this.
Then several months later, Simon meets you. It's after another mission, and you're picking up Soap from base, who had gotten a mild concussion and couldn't drive himself. You're there, waiting for him with a lovesick smile on your face. Simon watches as you embrace Johnny, wrapping him in your arms and holding him for a long time. Too long, in Simon's opinion. And then you pull back and hold Soap's head in your hands, turning his face side to side to get a better look at him. You laugh at something he says. Simon sneers. Oh, aren't you just perfect? A sweet little doting wife?
And then Johnny brings you over to introduce you two. You shake Simon's hand with both of yours, gratitude broadcast to the world as you thank him for getting your Johnny home safe. Your Johnny. Simon hates it. He hates how sincere you are. He wishes you were something worse, something worth hating. But Ghost reads people. He's great at it. But he can't read anything but genuine in you. And it makes him hate you more.
It isn't fair, Simon thinks. You don't deserve someone like Johnny. You haven't earned him. You haven't fought for him like Simon has. You haven't fought alongside him like Simon has. Simon has suffered. His whole life has been nothing but blood and fire. Doesn't he deserve something good for once? Hasn't he earned it? Even the devil himself got to taste heaven before he fell to earth.
That's what he tells himself on that night. The night they were stuck in that frozen safe house in the middle of Bumfuck, Russia. They'd narrowly escaped the enemy, and they didn't dare poke their heads out for risk of being spotted. Soap's radio had broken in the escape. Ghost was the only one with a means to communicate with Watcher. She tells him exfil will be there in the morning. He unplugs his radio. He tells Soap he can't get through. He tells himself that he's justified. He's a devil seeking a taste of heaven.
And what is Johnny if not heaven? Simon needs him. He needs to taste him. Johnny is worried. Simon can feel it rolling off him in waves. Simon can make it all better for him. Just for tonight.
"Who knows when exfil's gonna get here?" He asks. "What do we have to lose? It's just for tonight. Just let me take care of you, Johnny."
Simon can feel the hesitation in Johnny's body when he kisses him. But Johnny let's Simon lay him down. Simon whispers words into Johnny's ear. Not quite words of reassurance. But Simon Riley is a bad man, and a lonely man, and those two things make a nasty combination.
Simon tastes every part of Johnny's body he can get his mouth on. Neither man has bathed in days, and a lesser man would be disgusted, but Simon has experienced far worse. Besides, nothing about Johnny could ever disgust him.
And when Johnny let's him inside, Simon, that devil, finally tastes his slice of heaven. A whole life of suffering was worth is just to feel Johnny beneath him. It's perfect, he thinks. Even if only for the night. Simon looks Johnny in the eye. Simon stays with him afterward. Simon sleeps beside him.
Then morning comes. Exfil comes. Regret comes for Johnny, but not for Simon. Maybe he shouldn't had lied about his radio, but it was worth it, wasn't it? But now Johnny won't look at him. He won't speak to him. He practically runs from him when they land.
No, no, no. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. This was supposed to fix things! It was supposed to fix what you had ruined! You, Soap's perfect wife with your perfect life, perfectly ruining Simon's. Johnny was supposed to see that he needed Simon more. Johnny was supposed to see that he needed Simon as much as Simon needed him. What happened? What went wrong? Simon blames you. He always blames you.
Simon calls Johnny late that night, after he's sure you must be in bed. He pleads with Johnny to come to his senses. It wasn't a mistake! How could he say that? How could he say that it was wrong when Simon had never felt so right in his whole life? It's your fault. You've got Johnny trapped under some kind of spell. You can't love him like Simon could, like Simon does. Simon changes tactics.
"You have to tell her," Simon tells him. Maybe if you know, you'll leave. Then Simon can have Johnny all to himself, without you getting in the way again. "The guilt will eat you up, it's better if you just tell her. Its the right thing to do." Johnny reluctantly agrees.
Simon waits for Johnny to call him the next night, to tell him you've kicked him out. He waits for the call so he can swoop in and be Johnny's rescuer. Maybe then Johnny will see how much he loves him. But Johnny never calls. Simon would be tearing his hair out with anxiety if it wasn't so close-cropped to his head. What's happened to him? He hasn't lost control of his emotions like this in years. What have you done to him?
Simon drives to Johnny's house. He watches from the curb through your window. Johnny's alone. Good. He has half a mind to walk up to the door when he sees you come around the corner. He watches you two talk. He watches you cry. Crocodile tears, they must be! Poor you, having your perfect life be derailed. Simon was justified. It's only fair that you suffer even a fraction that he has so he can take some of your perfect life for his own.
But then Johnny is holding you. Johnny is kissing you. No, no this isn't right! You should be screaming at him to leave! You should be beating Soap to a pulp so Simon can put him back together! Why won't you let him have this?
He watches Johnny carry you away. He forces himself to drive away before he does something he'll regret. He speeds the whole way home. He turns his apartment upside-down. In the back of his mind he's thankful he lives in a shit part of town where no one calls the cops unless someone is actually dead. No noise complaints as he shatters every mirror.
It's your fault he's losing control. You you would just let him have Johnny, it would all be fine. But you, you selfish bitch, want to keep Johnny all to yourself. Why? Because you've got a ring? Because you made a vow? Well, Simon makes a vow to himself. No matter how long it takes, he will make Johnny his.
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canonicallyobserving911 · 19 days ago
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Buddie: Eddie caring for Buck while he has boils on him is important!
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Throughout the seasons, one thing I've noticed is Buck has always took pride in the way he looks. He's a handsome guy and there's nothing wrong with him doing that but for reasons associated with 8x5, this is important because every person Buck’s ever been romantically linked to either contacted him because of the way he looked or because he died. All of them, Abby, Ali, Taylor, Natalia and T*mmy too only cared/care about "Buck the firefighter" and him being a piece of arm candy for them but nothing more. They never wanted to get to know him beyond his physical attributes and it’s possible that's the reason why the show highlighted Buck’s natural ability to research and retain information in 8x1 with the bees. He knows a lot of stuff and he's very smart but the only person who loves listening to him is Eddie Diaz and that's been shown numerous times in CANON.
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Side note: both Buck and Eddie were wearing gloves when they treated Ana's and Natalia's hands but Eddie is NOT wearing gloves when he treats Buck for the boils which means there's no barrier between him and Buck. 👀
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That's Love! ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️
The boils that will plague his body will likely be the thing/illness that helps him understand he’s more than just his looks. People have been taking from him his whole life and it started with his parents having him to save Daniel. Then it proceeded to Buck becoming reckless for attention and progressed to him using his body to feel something by having meaningless sex with random people. It continued into his relationships because Buck was always giving while the people he was/is with took. He's been waiting to be loved unconditionally but he always clings when the other person wants to move on. Even Connor took from him to create a life with Buck’s sperm but he didn’t do anything for Buck in return. (I won’t get started on the sperm donation because we'll be here all day.) The point is people have taken from him until he no longer served their selfish purposes and they left him feeling empty. He keeps trying to fill the void with the same type of person shallow, arrogant, obnoxious, rude, uncaring, self-serving, etc. but each time, he comes up empty.
Now, here's the part he should realize when Tonsillitis becomes "weirded out" by what's happening to him and he should also realize Eddie is the person for him and he’s been in front of him the whole time.
(An explanation of boils and how they’re contagious is below.)
The gist of it is boils can be spread via skin to skin contact, they can cause serious issues and the ones on a person's face can lead to a brain infection. But Temu won't want to touch him and he'll be bothered by them while Eddie remains unbothered. Eddie’s a combat medic and an EMT which means he knows he should be wearing gloves BUT HE ISN'T. Why? Because he loves ALL OF BUCK NOT JUST HIS LOOKS. HE LOVES HIS HEART AND HE KNOWS AND SEES HIM. He loves listening to him and he’s waiting on Buck to get it.
Eddie will treat him and based on the BTS pics, Buck’s boils will get progressively worse and they'll cover his face and neck, likely his entire body. Most people avoid anyone who has boils all over themselves and in the olden days, people were shunned for having them. It was before modern medicine but it happened.
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Therefore, Tonka Toy's reaction should open Buck's eyes and help him understand that Eddie LOVES all of him and he’s not concerned about the boils while Toy Robot is. He's weirded out while Eddie’s unphased.
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By the end of 8x5, Buck should understand and accept the fact that he's more than just his looks and he deserves to be loved for who he is not for what he can give someone else.
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actual-changeling · 3 months ago
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i love all the UST to RST arcadia fics but i look at them and see the most uncomfortable situation ever.
mulder is having fun playing house and it's kinda cute, but scully? if we go with this being their first case back on the x files (and i'll always go with that) they have solved exactly none of their issues.
the "you're making this personal" is a month old at MOST, and scully probably has to struggle with the thought that the only reason mulder is her 'full-time' partner again is because diana ditched him.
(which is funny in a dark and painful way)
after weeks upon weeks of mulder basically being a rude stranger that no longer trusts her—someone she can no longer rely on—he just, what, expects her to bounce back and pretend none of it ever happened? 'cause that's what they usually do?
but this was not usual. this was mulder taking his love confession and twisting it into a knife to repeatedly stab her with. "your science saved me and made me a whole person" yeah great! love that. would be a shame to use it against her a few weeks/months later.
"your science is wrong" after she more or less repeated his speech and the strong implication that he no longer abides by what he told her.
"you've given me no reason here [not to trust diana]" after she did what she always does—giving him the facts. if i start talking about the "you're making this personal" line we will be here for an hour so i won't. we all know it's there and what kinda damage it did.
all that and more. refusing to trust her. ditching her. walking away from her. and, knowing them, they did not come together and talk it out.
so we have scully stuck undercover as his wife in a freaky murderous suburban community and mulder is getting his ya yas out doing what he does.
he touches her and she immediately shrugs him off, steps away from him, and she looks at him with raised hands and a glare that says "back off". early season 5 scully would be having the time of her life but by now she very much hates it.
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whenever mulder initiates something personal, she plays along just enough to keep them as a team going but is visibly uncomfortable. we know what it looks like when she's happy and relaxed in his presence and this ain't it.
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and these are from the BEGINNING of the episode. it doesn't get any better. it's work and she is treating it as such, she won't risk a case because of her own emotional situation.
mulder is. trying to get them back on track. i can give him that much. but as we see in monday and agua mala, he is STILL keeping shit from her (not giving her an explanation in monday, for example) and comfortable ditching her.
personally, i don't think arcadia is the turning point in their relationship that a lot of fics write it as. doing so is perfectly fine, don't get me wrong, i love reading them.
i just don't see any major progress between one son and arcadia that indicates they actually talked about some shit. playing house with mulder is about the last thing scully wants to do at that point, and yet she does it without complaint.
arcadia, to me, is mostly about two things: mulder being forced to acknowledge that they can't just ignore it & he screwed up and scully (very very slowly) beginning to rediscover how to be comfortable around mulder again. i don't think his frequent jokes are particularly helpful, they don't lighten the mood, they make it worse, if anything.
somewhere between arcadia and alpha, and then alpha and trevor, they readjust, and while cc never showed us (bc he is a fucking coward) i am 100% certain they actually managed to talk.
in trevor, there is none of the tension we see in arcadia. they're comfortable joking and flirting as usual, he does his lovesick puppy impression when she talks about spontaneous human combustion. they're them again.
not perfectly so, that takes them longer with the whole biogenesis thing disrupting their balance again, but we have the baseball date and that episode in general (thank u david for ur service).
anyway this got away from me, but my point is that scully should be allowed to need longer to trust mulder again after how horribly he treated her. she's allowed to hold a grudge and be upset, angry, sad, whatever she wants.
let that woman scream a little, she desperately needs it.
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adventuringblind · 7 months ago
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Chin Up, Princess (2k words)
Max Verstappen x Reader
Genre: Ghoulverse Hurt/Comfort
Summary: Jos oversteps and causes a whole lot of hurt for Max and his mate, he takes things into his own hands and ends up resorting to extreme measures in order to save his lover. (Background Landoscar, Charlos, and Sewis)
Warnings: Mind control, talks of eating people and mentions of gore but nothing explicit, ghoul on ghoul violence, burning of a character, major character death (not a good guy tho), ED but like... also not an ED, soulbonds
Notes: Ironically the most tame ghoulverse fic I've done thus far. Thank you to🏍️for the amazing idea!!
Side Note: Feed my praise kink please?
Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi
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It’s raining again. The kind of rain Monaco doesn’t see often. The torrential downpour that keeps everyone hidden away inside to keep warm. 
She watches the water droplets race down the window, wondering which one will hit the edge first. It’s not productive, but she needs something to distract her from the ache in her bones. The hunger pains have gotten progressively worse over the last three weeks. Still, she’s finding ways to cope. She has to manage; the pain is what’s keeping her sane. 
 It’s nice being home and hidden behind the water covered window. It means she’s free to drop the human look. All horns and tail, long tongue and sharp teeth, dark eyes and pointed ears. It’s natural - or it used to be. 
It doesn’t quite feel like her anymore. Like somehow everything that had once been a part of her is now irritating. Her horns are heavy and her tail refuses to be anywhere but the ground. All because his words sit in her head and bounce around the cavity in her chest. 
He changed her. 
~~~♡~~~
A month ago, she ran into Jos in the paddock. Even though she doesn’t like the guy, he’s still technically her king - and Max’s dad - so her father in law in a way. Max had mated with her (a heavenly feeling) but had done so without the consent of his father. 
Jos doesn’t like her one bit. Which she doesn’t care about. If Max is the prince of the demons and set to take up leadership at some point, that makes her a princess. They both dislike each other but in the essence of keeping things civil, she makes it work. 
“I didn’t expect to see you here today!” She nodded her head to show respect. Opting for that instead of bowing to this man in broad daylight. 
“I wish I hadn’t seen you at all!” Well - fuck you too - she supposes. She’d fallen into step beside him as they made their way to the Redbull garage. 
She nearly crashes into him when he stops abruptly. He grabs hold of her bicep and drags her down some alleyway between buildings. She goes with compliance, hell only knows what this man can and will do to her. 
Her back hits the wall with a disorienting force. “You’re not enough for us.” 
“I think you mean for you.” 
Jos hisses close enough to her face that she can feel his saliva hitting her. “The council decided you’re not one of us-'' He grabs her chin and she watches as his eyes fade to that deep dark color that usually means something bad is about to happen.
“You will not eat. You are not one of us. Am I clear?” 
She snaps at him. Her attempt at fighting his hold is futile. Not when the damn demon king is trying to hypnotize her. “No!” 
He clamps a hand over her mouth and pulls a lighter out of his pocket. The open flame hovers just above the healed over scar on her clavicle. She shakes, desperate to get away from the heat. “You will not eat. You are not a ghoul. You are not one of us.”
It’s a hypnotic tone that seeps through her ears and floods her veins. The heat of the flame no longer her one weakness as her mind submits itself to the will of her king. 
~~~♡~~~
Her jaw snapped shut. Her vocal chords refused to work. Her throat constricts around liquids. Her teeth become glued to each other each time she tries to bite down into something of nutrients. 
A month of this torture and she can feel herself getting progressively more ravenous. Slowly they’ve exhausted all of their options. No matter how desperately she tries, she can’t get any substance into her. 
Max’s reflection appears in the window. A frown etched upon lips. It doesn’t suit him; Max was made to smile. She likes being the one to cause it. These days it feels like all he’s doing is trying to ease her slow and painful death. 
He sits opposite of her and heaves out a gust of warm air on the window. His pointer finger paints a simple picture of a stick figure. It’s - objectively - a terrible drawing, but it serves its purpose and makes her laugh. 
“I’m scared, Max.”
“I know, schat.” 
They continue to stare out the window. The bond doing the talking for them, passing their emotions back and forth. He can feel her pain and she can feel his inner rage. 
Humans don’t understand. Maybe they never will. They fear those who are different. Think this way and do this thing or you're a monster. Certainly not all of them. Lando and Charles are prime examples of this. Still - surviving amongst them gets harder each day. 
“I know what you want to do.” She turns towards him. Unbidden in the comfort of their own home. His tail flicks in uncertainty. A habit he picked up from Sebastian. “I don’t want you to regret it.” 
“It’s inevitable. Just earlier than planned.” He won’t meet her gaze. “I can’t watch you suffer when I can stop it.” 
“You have always been the chivalrous type.”
Max slides closer to her. His thumb comes to the underside of her chin and pushes it upward. Her eyes have nowhere else to go, forced to get lost in his. A never-ending sea of endless dark that she’d willingly drown in. 
“Chin up, love. There is going to be a crown on your head soon. I’d hate to see it hit the ground.”
~~~♡~~~
She hates not being able to go inside. She understands why she can’t though. She already has the weight of one hypnosis spell weighing her down; she’s more susceptible to another. 
Still, waiting is nerve wracking. The sound of familiar roars fill her ears. Occasionally wincing when she feels Max’s pain. Mild compared to what it is for him. 
Lando and Charles are sitting on the ground with her. Their mates are inside with Max, along with Lewis and Sebastian. She attempts to hold close to the bonds of their tribe. They’ve been planning this for the last couple of weeks. Every hole is plastered with flexi tape. 
“Relax, chéri. They are fine.” 
She won’t open her mouth to mutter a thanks. Not when she’s already salivating and can smell exactly where their pulse points are. Not when she can hear the steady rhythm of their hearts. 
No, she can’t eat, but she’d also rather not risk it. 
“Do we have to bow to you after this whole ordeal is over?” Lando looks at her with a curious expression. “Cause like - Oscar doesn’t bend like that.”
Both her and Charles gape and the odd statement. Lando looks like he’s just stated the weather on an average Monday morning. 
“Lando, are you sure it’s not you who doesn’t bend like that?”
“I think I know how I can bend mate! How do you think we broke the table-“
Charles grimaces, his nose scrunching up and cheeks turning red. “Bleh! I don’t need to know how Oscar bends you.” 
“You asked!”
“And now I regret it…”
Another roar bellows into the night sky. It’s loud and painful. She looks to the boys beside her for confirmation that it’s not Oscar or Carlos. They nod at her, leaving only three options. 
She bolts inside. 
The roars turn to whines. The fire rages over the body of Jos Verstappen. Max has sunk to his knees, the sunset hues of the flames reflect in his eyes and illuminate the tear tracks on his cheeks. 
She falls beside him. Panicked hands search for any possible wounds; any burns in need of immediate attention. Max is crying as she does so, but he’s smiling at the same time. There are a million emotions running through the room. The large flames a mercy to the now deceased king. 
A fallen king lay before them. His body burned to ashes. They watch as he is devoured by the fire. The silence is deafening. The only noise being the roar of the flames. An irony that doesn’t go unnoticed. To feel serene with the one thing that would surely kill her if the starvation doesn’t first. 
Max is the first to approach the pile of ashes on the ground. He creeps up to it like they might reanimate. Like they might take back what they once had and reestablish their hold on her mind with no chance at her escape. 
Sebastian meets Max in the middle. He scoops handfuls of the ash and decorates Max’s skin. The Dutch looks miserable when Sebastian dumps a handful into Max’s own cupped hands. 
“Do I have too?”
“Do you want your fathers powers?” 
He groans, but doesn’t wait any longer. He tries to be serious, but there is an element of humor here despite the situation. 
“Does this mean Max is a cannibal now?!” She supposes Lando is trying to whisper, but the building they are in echoes. He chokes when he hears it. 
“Lando! I am trying to eat my father!” 
“So you are a cannibal!” 
Oscar slaps a hand over his mate's mouth. Briefly, a look of disgust flashes across his face. “If you  really think licking me will work, you are mistaken.” Muffled sounds from underneath Oscar’s hand escape, but nobody understands. 
Max is finally able to choke down the ashes of his father. Certainly not the most conventional of coronations, but she can’t picture it any other way. 
“Never thought I’d see the day where we were dropping to our knees for this guy.” Carlos chuckles from somewhere beside her as they close in on the new king. 
Not a prince anymore - a king. 
It suits him more, she thinks. Standing tall in front of his tribe, still laughing at Lando and Oscar and their odd positioning. At Carlos and his playful pride as he kneels. He exchanges a smile with Charles after years of rivalry now comes a shared respect. He turns endearingly to Sebastian and Lewis looking at him like proud parents. 
Then to her. She’s on the ground, her knees bruised already. Max pulls her up into his arms. He brings his hands to her jaw and once again she drifts into the calm of his endless eyes. 
Soft fingers massage her jaw. The one that aches with a desperate need for something she hasn’t had in so long. He’s gentle with her, like an antique porcelain doll that might break if he applies too much pressure. 
“You are worthy of every good thing. You are one of us, just as you always have been and you are deserving of your life.” 
The cement that had been fire in her veins vanishes as he speaks. Max keeps talking, but she’s too lost in the relief from these heavy feelings - the euphoria of knowing she belongs again. The cavern of her chest is beating with words of comfort. 
Her horns don’t feel like extra weights and her tail finds Max’s with immediate ease. They intertwine like they had before. 
“You are here and loved. You have a place with us.” He tilts her chin upward like he’s done since they mated. “Chin up, your highness, you’re a queen now.” 
~~~♡~~~
Sated. 
Her body aches from a full belly instead of the hunger pains. As does the rest of their tribe, she presumes. 
Max keeps getting phone calls… and he keeps ignoring them. Instead opting to keep his attention focussed on his tribe. His love for them - for her - is radiating through his every move. 
“I think King Max sounds good on you.” She flashes her teeth at him. The others are either chatting, or if you’re Oscar then you’re using Lando as a blanket and sleeping. They are paying no attention to them. 
“You think? I’d always resented it.” 
“You’re going to change things, Max. That’s not something to resent.” They hook tails again, a comfort she’d missed dearly. “Plus, you’re stuck with me now since you saved my life. I’m going to be the most demanding queen.” She waves her hand around for dramatic flair. 
“Oh yeah? How so?” 
“First I’m going to demand that you cuddle me - and I’ll figure out the rest later!” 
“As you wish, your highness.” 
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yanderegrizzsworld · 10 months ago
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saw your post about taking digital circus content so may I request for Pomni or Ragatha or even Jax with a reader who's pretty calm when first entering in the digital circus and doesn't seem to mind everything else happening with how they're just like "hey, that's cool" basically they're pretty chill
Imagine: Platonic Yandere Pomni, Ragatha & Jax with a chill reader
TW/CW: Implied stalking & Mentions of Bullying
Pomni:
With Ragatha's reassurance, Pomni reckoned that everyone acted similarly to her upon their arrival to the Digital Circus. This did ease her perturbation, though not by much & far less upon your arrival to their Digital "home".
Are you alright? Complete & utter calmness is the last reaction the jester expects from a newcomer, yet reasons that you're probably seeking to assess your situation &/or keep focus. It's quite smart really, it means you're less likely to abstract in this world, such an easygoing attitude it quite a quick way to get her attached to you.
She'll strive to stick by you as much as possible, though is willing to give you your space if asked to as she wishes not to be regarded as chafing & will at most watch you from a distance. Expect her coming to you a lot whenever she seeks comfort from one of her paranoid episodes of searching for an exit, while Ragatha is very willing to be a nice shoulder to cry on, Pomni truly feels her anxious thoughts leave whenever she's in your presence & will progressively get more antsy the longer she can't find you in the circus.
Ragatha:
She reckons herself as the peacemaker of the group from being one of the oldest to be there, though one would be forgiven (& correct) for thinking that she seems quite close to losing it at any moment. From this, she always strives to ease newcomers to their new digital home, understanding how nerve-wracking it is.
Ragatha is chiefly clueless upon your arrival. Years of seeing new faces initially scared & addled to this world has made the ragdoll has grown accustomed to introducing the new performers, downplaying the existential dread of their circumstance, whether as so they don't abstract or so her own crisis doesn't get to her is up in the air. She takes her steps forward as she usually does to new people, but doesn't know what to properly say seeing as you're not freaking out about the situation.
Seeing her around you a lot is something you'd best get used to, whether it's a short, simple chat on how you're holding up or talking about nothing within the walls of the tent, getting Ragatha to leave is quite the task. She refuses to leave you alone with Jax, as in her eyes & years of being around him, he might chip away at your sanity, small at first but grows worse over time until it's too late, claiming she's somehow surprised someone hasn't abstracted because of him.
Jax:
Nobody's sure if Jax's frequent bullying is merely an aspect of who he is or his way of coping with living in the circus, it's doesn't matter either way, he won't give a luculent answer. Jax isn't one to comfort a new face, opting to hectoring them until Ragatha stops him towards causing the other's disquietude.
Your breezy attitude doesn't deter him from his usual antics, including said frolics being thrown at you. Your lack of reaction to the prank both throws off the lavender rabbit & bemuses him, just what goes through that head of yours? His motive shift from wanting a reaction from you to seeking to see what makes you tick, what you experienced to make you have the viewpoint that you do, that makes you merely laugh at your situation rather than panic.
Jax sees fit to insert himself into conversations without a need to explain himself & brushes off any questions thrown at him, every attempt to interrogate him tends to end with Jax dragging you off with him, maybe to not start an argument with Ragatha or Zooble or perhaps he got bored of the conversation, who knows what goes on in his head. Any thought of suspect for his behavior towards you is out his head a second later, you don't seem to mind so his mind discerns no issue with his comportment & is what Jax uses as an excuse, true reason for his frequent presence around you.
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gardenofnoah · 17 days ago
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darling i loved you, i long to become you -
part one - simon "ghost" riley x reader; 2.8k words. tags: stalking, obsessive behavior, breaking and entering, bodily fluids, masturbation, misuse of prescriptions and alcohol, it’s going to get a lot worse
There's something sick inside of him. That's the only conclusion he's arrived at, because nothing else comes to him at three in the morning but the blistering silence and that single observation—that there is something wholly necrotic crawling underneath his skin. It's beginning to scare him.
Simon draws a hand up over his pulse and he thinks he feels that something, too—dark and writhing and waiting, just like him. The longer he is awake, the more he begins to believe that the thing he fears is merely his own shadow. That there is no something else at all—only another side of himself shook looser with every passing minute. But sleep doesn't come—not in anything more than fits and spurts, and just long enough to drive him half insane every time he opens his eyes and finds the dark is not yet done with him.
Tonight is no different. The medication makes him sweat, makes him nauseous, makes him anything but what it should; all of his feeble attempts at sleep, and concentration, and peace—all out of reach and replaced with something filled with so much numbness. That is the darkness—the hole left behind and filled with a nothing that is so much heavier than he’d ever imagined it’d be.
He'd sent you away. It had only made sense at the time—your need and his own like locked cervids, both of you too blind with blazon adrenaline to realize there could be a way to fit around each other—to come apart with both your lives and pride intact. He'd believed he'd known better—that his indifference to your tears and your rage could only have meant that there truly was no room inside himself for the home you'd tried to carve within him. It was him that caused the fracture, but he'd shown you it was you. He saw the final sever when his words landed—the parts of you he'd sloughed off, knowing immediately he'd taken too much. Regretting it, if only for a fleeting moment.
But either way—it was over. You were gone, and he, free to continue to pursue some vague and ever-distorting end goal that he'd put on a pedestal for himself. He'd been younger, once—chasing tail and money and some odd sort of notoriety for the things that were easy to him: brutality, efficiency. Rage as mechanical as it was innate to him. He'd never been too sure what that holy grail of his life would be, but he'd been certain that whatever finality awaited him would be truly worthy of something as wicked as he. What pride he'd felt at that—at the magnificent monster he'd painstakingly reared up from, and in spite of, some terrified child huddled in fear at the unfortunate end of a perpetually smoking gun. Never again in his life would he feel that way.
But while the progression into his 30s brought him a renewed sense of vitality, of urgency, of greed—it gave you claws to grab hold of him. While the itch to go became unbearable to him, your need—to love him, to have him, to keep him—pinned him to the floor. He got away the only way he knew how—with the swift cruelty he'd inherited and whittled to a fine point.
He'd taken from you to get out—but not without a cost. An unfathomable one, at that. He's no idea what switched—what took him from apathy to obsession overnight. He's not lost so much of the plot that he believes it's love; but no matter what it is, it pushes him forward, toward you. He can't stop—couldn't, even if he wanted to.
The air, hanging and oppressive enough to be sentient, keeps Simon affixed to the soaked-through sheets like they're a part of him. This is his new routine: dreamless sleep to waking nightmare. He feels, with some irony, that his current state has nothing to do with the years of blood on his hands, and everything to do with the heart or the sense you seemed to have gored from him on your way out. He knows this, because it is 3:30 in the morning, and after 32 minutes of staring at the silent, slow rotation of his ceiling fan, he'll swing both legs over the edge of his bed and summon some sort of reserved strength to drag himself up and over to the window. An island, no more than a wooden counter top on bricks, separates point A from point B—he'll approach it and give himself a choice: to grab a handful of pills that he's scattered across its surface, or to forgo this new odd game of roulette all together.
And from 4:02 until the sun rises, he will watch you sleep from that window.
It was easy enough to find where you ended up—you'd blocked him on your socials, but it took all of a moment to create a new version of himself, with a generic name and a different face. He'd almost been disappointed at how easy it was to follow you with the new him—at how easy it would be to shatter this illusion of safety you somehow still had, even after he'd shown you what he was.
He'd just been curious, at first—but he'd recognized the buildings outside of the window of your flat in your pictures, and suddenly he was signing a lease for a studio with a direct line of sight into that window. His stomach had turned delightfully when he'd realized that you'd forgone curtains for your bedroom. He was sure you'd believed you were far enough from the first floor not to need them. Poor dove. Stupid thing.
His intentions had been pure, even as he hauled the last of his belongings into his building under the cover of night. Someone had to keep an eye on you, he'd reasoned, if only because you clearly had no sense of how to do it yourself. But the months passed and he left his place less and he drank more. He became a little less regimented about the sleep aids, the psychotropics, the pain killers—dumped them out of their safety-locked bottles and mixed them around, needing to feel something like a thrill and knowing that no matter how lax he was about what he took, he would remain right here. At his window, in this body, only for a glimpse of you.
And here he is—chewing down what he thinks could be a chlorpromazine, chasing it with what's left of the handle of gin before he has the chance to gag. From his perch, there's no movement in your dark apartment, but he knows you're in there. The light of your TV flashes dimly to him like a flare—illuminating the back wall of your bedroom. If he squints, he can make out the frames nailed to the drywall, the houseplant that refuses to die despite your neglect next to your bed, and the wooden slats of your headboard. As if just for him, a particularly bright advert reveals your sleeping form to him—just the outline of you, under the mound of blankets you insist on sleeping with. How grateful he feels that you've given him a front row seat, down to the placement of your bedroom furniture.
He pushes the bottom pane of his window away, out into the night as he crouches to light a cigarette out of the opening. He watches the smoke curl away from his fingers and he wonders if you'd know him by the acrid smell of it alone, if he got close enough. He feels the absent tug of a scar as his lip curls at the memory of your disdain for it. It'd be easy enough for him to scale the side of your building, to get right up under your balcony—would you think him a haunting?
He flicks ash and watches your comforter move with your tossing and turning—knowing acutely that you've no idea the ways you haunt him.
He stands there, watching for flickers of you in the dark until the light begins to reveal his hiding place. At 7:16 he moves, if only out of the desire to drag this out—to see how long he can make himself wait until he inevitably needs more. Until that slithering thing inside him tells him to get a little closer.
Until then, indeed.
-
The weather gets colder as the year drags on—and you push him a little nearer to whatever edge he's approaching when you put up curtains in your bedroom.
To keep the cold out, surely—but not him. You couldn't have known about his early morning routine, but to Simon, it's personal. It's a challenge—a subtle provocation from you to try a little harder.
So he does.
"Evening, mate," he gruffs to the concierge of your building—making a big show of brushing the snow off of his coat. He didn't own a coat until tonight—there was no reason to, with how infrequently he'd left his place recently—but it was easy enough to snag it off the back off a stroller off the subway. "Bloody blizzard out there."
The doorman cocks an eyebrow at him, not bothering to hide the suspicion at the way he's come trudging through the lobby at two in the morning on a Wednesday. "Bit late for walk, no?"
Simon grins at him, entirely conscious of his face for what might be the first time in his life. Wonders what the man might think of the scar that pulls white with the flash of his teeth. Winks for good measure. "Ah, girlfriend lives on the 3rd floor—dropped her off by curfew, but seems'm a bit whipped—" He leans forward, squinting at the nametag. "—Percy. M'sure you know about that, yeah?"
You don't—live on the 3rd floor, that is. You live on the 6th. But he's no idiot, and he won't assist this squatty, red-faced bastard in drawing the conclusions he's clearly already trying to piece together.
"Say, Percy—" Simon jabs at him, ignoring the way the man not-so-subtly steps back from his best attempt at a friendly advance, "—'ve got a bone to pick with you, actually. She says you've been starin' at her somethin' horrid." He does his best to toe the line between a tease between co-conspirators and his usual threat, eyebrow cocked with mirth. "I know she's a catch, mate, but maybe take it easy on 'er."
He's pulling it out of his ass, but Simon knows he's won this standoff the second he sees the concierge's face turn a darker shade of red. It doesn't matter who he's talking about. He's certain this asshole ogles every woman that walks through the door.
"Apologies, sir," the doorman doesn't raise his eyes from the countertop when he hands Simon the little red plastic card he'd been waiting for, "this will get you up there."
Simon raises two fingers in a little mock salute and turns on his heel, seeking out the elevators like he's been here before. It feels like he has, with all of the time he's spent carding through virtual tours of all of the vacant flats in the building. He thinks he could find the main elevators—placed on the far back wall, around the corner from the utility closet—with his eyes closed. He feels himself slip into a headspace that's far more tactile than this requires, but he supposes he shouldn't be too careful. Two in the morning or not, he has the sense to know he shouldn't be here.
It excites him, though, to watch the button for the sixth floor light up under his fingertip. The car rises and so does his stomach, fuzzy and writhing with anticipation. He's not been this close to you in months. He’s nearly sick with it—the unbridled need slicking his palms and wetting the inside of his mouth.
It’s not that he wants you. It’s more that you’re his, and he’ll play the long game if it means he gets to keep you. Simon doesn't consider himself a bad guy—even now, as he keeps his footsteps light on the carpet leading him to what will inevitably be your door—it's just that he's been dealt so much shit that he feels he deserves something good. It's that he realized too late that you could be that something good—but he can still have it, have you, if he's careful about this.
He finds it easy enough—when he spots the one door decorated top to fucking bottom with winter festivities, he is certain that he's in front of your door. It almost makes him angry—how easy you've made this for him. What if it had been someone else? Someone who wasn't him, rooting around in what he's already claimed?
Before he knows it, he's shoved a pin into your lock and gotten the door open. With all of the stealth imparted on him by his career, it swings open without a sound, leading the way into your dark home.
You're not here. He knows you're not—blinds up or not, he's been observing you long enough to know your patterns. Now, thinking of where you would be at 2am on a week night has his heartbeat thundering in his ears, but right now that's not important.
He allows himself the luxury of a tour around your flat—smaller than his, it seems, but with all of the character you have a habit of inflicting on your living spaces. There are pieces of you everywhere—pictures stuck to the fridge, dirty laundry in the corner of your bedroom. He helps himself to the latter—rooting around until his fingers catch something lace. In the dark, he can make out the shade, not the color; the stain he feels piques his interest. He rubs the pad of his thumb over the gusset of your panties, presses into it—still a little tacky, like you'd worn them earlier in the day. He knows it's from you—Simon tells himself he's only confirming that you're being safe, and not letting some neanderthal spill his load inside you. He's only concern for you, he rationalizes—depositing your underwear into the band of his own. Your discharge sticks to his skin, and he suppresses a shiver. It flares to life inside him—the need to have every part of you again.
He forces himself to move on. He's not really sure why he's here, but feels he belongs there all the same—in your dark apartment, standing over your bed, where you ought to be sleeping.
He's drawn to the window—he pulls back the corner of your new linen curtain just to be sure, and feels a smile pull at the corner of his mouth. There's not a chance in hell you'd ever be able to see him looking down at you.
He allows his boot to scuff along the hardwood—some small part of him hoping the rubber sole leaves behind a mark. He's overwhelmed by the weight of it—of the feeling that he has to leave something behind, but knowing he can't—not yet.
So he makes a compromise with himself—he arrives by your bedside again and stays there this time, fingers reaching to the zipper of his jeans. He pulls himself out clumsily—soft, but swelling quickly at the idea of you beneath him, breathing softly and blissfully unaware.
He pictures you in his mind. Blankets tangled around your legs, hair tangled in a nest by your pillows—he wonders how long he'd be able to get away with brushing the crown of him against your open, drool-slicked bottom lip before you'd stir.
He feels a flush of pleasure lick up his spine at the thought of you, bleary-eyed and confused—how your eyes would widen when you finally registered him towering over you. Would you know it was him right away? Would you scream? Would you soil yourself?
The image of your fright forces a low groan from him, and he tugs at his cock brutally—dry and fast, but no less effective right now. With his free hand, he pulls your panties from his waistband and pushes them between his teeth—the fabric and the taste of you muffling his whining and making his eyes roll back in his head. He imagines you coming back to the sight of him—panties in his mouth and cock hanging out of his jeans. Maybe you'd understand, finally, what you've done to him.
His release is a short one, but it knocks the breath of him nonetheless—hot spend coating his knuckles and his jeans. The urge to mark you in some way seems to transfer to your belongings, because before he can even register that he's done it, his hand is inside your pillowcase—wiping the remnants of his pleasure across the underside of the bare pillow. You'll never find it, but he'll know—and for now, that's enough.
He looks down at his watch, and knows he's out of time. He shoves himself back into his jeans and retraces his steps, back out of your door—he doesn't bother locking it behind him. Let you feel a little fear, if only for a moment. Teach you a lesson in comfort—the fallacy of safety he's always known, and you've never felt.
He doesn't look back once the door shuts behind him—he finds a fire stairway and clears the six floors to the street in no time at all. He doesn't look back, not once—not until he's back in his place. He pulls the pack of cigarettes from his bedside drawer, and taps the carton against the wooden finish of it. He checks the time again.
3am. Only a half an hour until you get home.
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atinylittlepain · 2 years ago
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Love your writing! I love the Unexpected universe, could I please request a really angsty Joel story where baby Miller gets sick nothing extreme, just a colicky baby but because of what happened to Sarah it just brings all of Joel’s fear to the surface? Please add some fluff spice with reader trying to comfort him and cute baby and dad moments?
aw man, i got a bit carried away with this one, i hope you like it <3
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Unmet Expectations
dad!joel miller x f!reader
joel miller masterlist
When baby miller gets sick, Joel gets stuck in the past, leaving her feeling lonelier than ever before.
warnings | 18+ angst, hurt/comfort, grief, sick baby oof, smut at the end
a/n | this one is long, and rather emotionally charged, but with a happy ending of course for our Unexpected Expectings fam :)
....................................
There isn’t much sleeping going on in the Miller household. Except for Ellie, who has the good fortune to be out in the garage, away from the seemingly endless crying. It started a little over a month ago. She had settled Libby down for her afternoon nap, only to be promptly startled by her girl’s shrieking wail, a sound she would become all too familiar with as time progressed and it became clear that they have one very colicky baby on their hands. 
At first, she thought it was just her girl having a bad case of gas, but after a few hours of useless burping and rocking, she started to understand this was something else entirely. Joel came home that night from the stables to find her sitting on the floor of the nursery, tears in her eyes and Libby still screaming in her arms. She wasn’t sure what was worse in that moment, the sound of her girl’s continuous cries, or the look of sheer terror on Joel’s face as he knelt down next to her. He had run across town right then and there to get Suze, who could only advise them to keep their girl comfortable and fed with the reassurance that this sort of thing typically only lasts a month or two. 
It’s been the longest month of her life. Libby is nothing if not consistent, quiet and sweet as a lamb in the mornings, but around one o’clock every day, the crying starts, and it doesn’t stop until late into the night. Ellie has been a saint, and Maria too. Staying with her in the afternoons, keeping her sane as she tries to calm Libby down. Joel, however, is a different story. Since all this started, he’s become silent, unreadable. Much like how he was when they first met.
He takes Libby at night, giving her something of a break when he wordlessly takes her off her hands. She finds him most mornings asleep on the floor of the nursery, pressed right up against the crib, one of his arms usually hung between the wooden slats, keeping contact with their girl who always manages to wear herself off into sleep. It’s the only indication she gets from him of just how much he cares because otherwise, he’s become completely shut off, and it’s starting to freak her out more than Libby’s incessant crying.
They don’t talk anymore. He leaves early for shifts, and when he comes home, usually after dusk, he takes Libby and holes away in the nursery. She had tried to join him a number of times, but the steely look he always gave her kept her hovering at a distance, usually dozing in and out of sleep sitting in the hallway right outside the room. She can hear him in the night, the low thrum of his singing just barely detectable below Libby’s cries, and it breaks her heart that he won’t let anyone else see that part of him, especially not her. She’s grateful for how he takes over with Libby, but it feels like it’s no longer them, no longer a team. She’s surrounded by people who care, but it seems like the one person who matters most is slipping away, and she’s never felt more lonely in her life.
“I’m uh, picking up patrol today with Tommy. Might not be home till later.” Her hands still where she had been scrubbing one of Libby’s bottles in the sink. It’s the most he’s said to her in weeks. She turns around to look at him, his gaze wandering anywhere but to hers.
“I thought you weren’t doing patrol shifts anymore.” 
“They’re down a man today. Just a one time thing.” There’s a lot more she’d like to say, but she can’t get any of it out, not when it feels like she’s talking to a complete stranger. So instead, she just nods, turning back to the sink before the tightness in her throat can spill over into tears. She hears him let out a long sigh behind her.
“I’ll um, see you tonight then.” She sniffs, only answering him with a jerky nod. The sound of his boots thudding away, the open and close of the front door, is a relief that she feels guilty for.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to stick around? It’s no sweat, really. Dina will understand.” She offers Ellie what she can of a smile, easier said than done with her other girl screeching directly in her ear as she rocks her back and forth.
“That’s alright, Ellie bean. You’ve been a huge help already this afternoon, but Joel should be back soon. You should go, have fun.” By the furrowed look on her face, Ellie doesn’t seem to buy that, but she nods.
“Um, ok. Well, you know where to find me– i-if you need me or anything.” She nods and Ellie turns to leave, but seems to think twice of it before turning back to her.
“Are you guys– are you guys ok? You and Joel?” Her heart drops at the question, but luckily Libby chooses that exact moment to raise her screaming to a new decibel, effectively distracting the both of them enough for Ellie to offer her one more anxious smile before heading out. 
She sighs with the close of the front door, continuing to try to soothe Libby as she walks upstairs to the nursery. 
“I know, Libs. Tell me about it, huh?” She sits down in the rocking chair, shifting her squirming girl to cradle her in her lap. When she glances at the clock, she realizes it’s at least an hour past when Joel should have been home. She feels terrible that she doesn’t feel much at the realization, too sleep deprived, too frustrated, too utterly hopeless to muster up much more than faint concern as Libby continues to wail. 
She sits like that for a few hours, through Libby’s ceaseless cries, the relentless noise lulling her into a sort of daze. And then, a miracle. For the first time in a month and a half, Libby stops crying before midnight. Her girl lets out a few sleepy coos before dozing off in her arms, and she has to stop herself from laughing in pure relief as she lays her down in her crib. Stepping out into the hall, she slumps back against the wall, but her peace is short-lived when she realizes that Joel still isn’t home and it’s now much later. 
It’s the final straw that finally sends her reeling as she crumples over, her hands on her thighs as she starts to heave in a silent sob. It feels like she can’t get any air in, taking quick gasping breaths that she tries to stifle, not wanting to make any sound and wake her girl up. Her mind is blaring a shrill alarm of two words, over and over again. He’s gone. Under any other circumstances, she might be able to rationalize, to not jump to the worst conclusion. But she’s running on fumes, and her mind can’t shake the thought that she may have lost him tonight. And then she starts to think about that morning, how she hadn’t even said goodbye, and it sends her down to her knees, collapsing over herself in a silent wail. 
She’s completely caught off guard when a warm palm comes to her back, jerking away from the touch and pressing back against the wall.
“Hey, hey. It’s me– it’s just me.” He kneels down in front of her, palms cupping her cheeks as he tries to coax her to look at him, but she’s still inconsolable, a sobbing mess. His face falls when she won’t calm down.
“What’s wrong? Is it– please don’t tell me it’s Libby.” The frantic edge to his voice cuts through the fog enough for her to shake her head.
“No– she– she’s fine– she’s sleeping. I thought– I thought you were gone– I thought I lost y-y-you.” She’s a shuddering mess of words, breaking down in another silent sob before she can say anymore. Joel’s hands slide down to squeeze hers, dipping his head down to catch her watery gaze.
“I’m not gone– we just had some trouble with one of the horses, alright? Just got back a little late. I’m right here.” She’s with it enough to let out a bitter laugh at his choice of words, her sobs finally dying down into breathy shudders.
“No you’re not.” His face crumples in confusion as he sits back on his haunches.
“What?” She sighs, scrubbing her eyes with the heel of her hand.
“You might be here physically. But I have no fucking clue where you’ve been in your head ever since– ever since Libby got sick.” As she says it, she finally starts to connect the dots. Joel has been acting the same way he acted when she told him she was pregnant, when he tried to get Tommy to take Ellie to Salt Lake City, when she got shot back in Boston. Joel’s been acting the way he acts when he’s scared.
Part of her wants to comfort him, to tell him that she knows, that she gets it. But the other part of her is too far gone in the flood of frustration for that, and instead she lets that righteous anger wash over her.
“I told you that I couldn’t do this without you, that we would do this together. We’re not in this together anymore, Joel. You don’t talk to me anymore, and lord knows you haven’t touched me in at least a month. Am I that repulsive to you? The fucking mother of your child?” His eyes are wide, jaw slack at her words.
“That ain’t what this is about.” She scoffs.
“No, I know what this is about. But, jesus christ, Joel, you aren’t the only one who’s scared right now. We’re supposed to be there for each other, that’s what partners do. They do it scared, together. But you won’t let me in, and you clearly want nothing to do with me.” 
“That’s not– I don’t– it’s–” He stops his own stumbling, letting out a ragged sigh. She just shakes her head.
Before either of them can say anything else, a cry resounds from the nursery. But it’s not like the shrieks they’ve grown accustomed to. This cry is quieter, more needy than distressed. She gets up with a sigh, not looking at Joel as she walks back toward the nursery. Joel is right on her heels.
“Let me, I’ve got her.” She whips around on her heel at his words, holding her palm up between them as she tries to steel her expression.
“Don’t.”
He doesn’t.
She wakes up the next morning in a crunched tangle on the twin bed in Libby’s room, her girl still sleeping like an angel in her crib. After a diaper change last night, Libby had again stopped crying, another hopeful sign that the colic is finally lifting.  She doesn’t have much room to celebrate it with the way the fight she and Joel had last night is occupying her mind. Though she supposes it wasn’t really a fight, more just her falling apart on him. A cool guilt creeps up her spine. She shouldn’t have lashed out at him like that, but she knows she couldn’t hold it in any longer either.
Libby still asleep, she slips into their bedroom, an awful relief that Joel is nowhere to be seen. She’s not ready to face him yet. 
She gets cleaned up, just barely dressed when she starts hearing fussy coos coming from across the hall. Morning light slides syrupy and gold across the nursery floor as she picks Libby up from her crib. This happens like clockwork, and it’s her favorite part of every morning, sitting down in the rocking chair, Libby’s tiny palm pressing against her sternum as she latches on for her breakfast. Even right now, with her mind swirling in worry, watching the contented flutter of her girl’s eyes as she suckles is enough to soothe her.
He clears his throat, and she glances up just briefly to see him standing in the doorway. 
“I think we might finally be done with the colic.” As she speaks, she keeps her eyes focused on Libby, her ears pricking to the shuffle of his bare feet as he comes closer into the room. He stays silent, but she can feel his eyes watching her as Libby turns her head away. She gets up with a sigh, still not looking at him as she bounces lightly side to side, rubbing her girl’s back after readjusting her shirt. 
“I can burp her if you want. Save you a shirt.” She finally looks at him as he speaks, worry clear in the crease between his brows. Part of her wants to be petty, to tell him that she’s got it and shut him out. But she also knows that this is him trying, so she gives him a small nod, gently passing Libby off to him. He’s been good with her from the start, and now is no different as he holds her to his chest, shushing her fussy whimpers as he lightly pats her back. She can’t help but smile at the sight, leaning up against the crib as she finally holds his gaze.
“Made coffee, if you want some. Pot’s probably still warm.” That’s a peace offering if she ever heard one. She hums, nodding noncommittally in response. It’s clear that Joel has something else to say.
“Could we– could we talk?” He sounds so unsure of the question, his brow all twisted up. She’s already thawing, offering him a smile and a nod.
“That one will conk right out when you’re done burping her. Let’s talk after you get her down, alright?” He sets his mouth in a thin line, his eyes still soft as he nods. She passes by him with a sigh, her palm resting for a moment on his bicep as she presses a kiss to Libby’s crown before slipping out of the room. She really needs that cup of coffee.
Spring is finally thawing out the winter freeze, and it’s just sunny enough to sit on the back porch with a warm mug and a sweater. It isn’t long before he joins her. She notes the way he keeps a sizable distance between them on the bench seat.
“Sarah was colicky too, y’know.” She hadn’t been expecting that, turning to look at him. He’s leaning forward, his elbows resting on his thighs as he cranes his neck back to meet her gaze.
“Was she?” He nods, letting out a breathy laugh.
“Scared the living shit out of me. Her mom– well, she wasn’t much help. Pfft, pretty sure I cussed out the doctor when he told me I just had to wait for it to pass– wait for Sarah to get better.” He studies his hands, fingers flexing as he continues.
“She cried and cried– just like Libby. I stayed up with her every night and just about lost my mind. Knowing she– my baby, my girl– was in so much pain and there was nothing I could do. It was torture.” She brings a tentative palm to his shoulder, feeling him slacken under her touch as he finally looks at her again.
“I’m sorry, darlin. I got stuck in the past and left you here to deal with the present.” She sets her mug down before scooting closer to him to sling her arm over his shoulders, feeling relief when he lets her tangle her other hand with his.
“I accept your apology. I just wish you would’ve talked to me. I know you don’t think I can understand– and I probably can’t, at least not entirely. But I can’t even try to if you don’t let me in.” She rests her chin on his shoulder, feeling the rise and fall of his sigh.
“I know you’re right– I do. It’s just so fucking hard. I just– I’ve gotten real good at running away from it– just shutting it down. Talking like this feels damn near impossible.” She leans back, coaxing him to look at her.
“We knew this wasn’t gonna be easy. And we said we’d get through this together. Joel, you can’t shut down like that– you just can’t. I– we need you too much.” He swallows hard, nodding at her words, and she can’t help but brush his wavy hair out of his face, resting her palm on his cheek afterward.
“You talk to me, huh? And I’m gonna try so hard to understand. I promise.” She stamps her words with a kiss, pressing her forehead against his as they both let out a sigh. 
“Gonna do better by you, darlin. Not gonna disappear on you again.” 
“It’s magic, right? It’s gotta be magic.” Joel quietly laughs at her whispers, both of them looking down at their girl who is fast asleep in the settling night time by some sort of miracle. Libby had done so much better the rest of the day. No more relentless shrieking or fussy squirming. It was like a switch had been flipped, and she and Joel are just hoping it stays that way. 
He places his palm between her shoulder blades, head tilting toward the doorway. She gets the hint, both of them quietly padding out of the nursery and across the hall to their own bedroom.
“Are we actually gonna get to sleep in our own bed tonight?” He smiles at that, lifting his hand to brush his fingers along her cheek. He’s being careful, she can tell. All day he’s been quiet, but close, taking the day off of shifts to stick by her side. She knows that this is his way of apologizing, his way of trying, and she’s grateful for it.
Whether or not they’re showering together has become a sort of litmus test to determine how their relationship is doing. They haven’t done this in a month, and she only realizes how much she missed it, missed him, when she finally gets her hands on him again, running her soaped-up palms along the broad expanse of his back as he faces away from her under the warm stream of water. She smiles at the groan he lets out when she presses her fingers into that spot between his shoulder blades that’s always knotted up, working the kink out before slipping her palms further down. A breathy chuckle thrums in his chest when she slides her palms down the strong curve of his ass, stepping in closer to wrap her arms around him and trail her hands up the soft muscle of his stomach.
“What’re you doing back there, mama?” She can hear the smile in his voice, and revels in the shudder that runs through him when she presses a kiss to the nape of his neck.
“Taking care of you. You gonna let me?” She feels the huff he lets out in the rise and fall of his shoulders, quick to turn in her hold and steal one, two, three kisses before she can press on his chest to get him to let up. His hands fall to her waist, squeezing at the swell and pulling her into him, chest to chest. His cock rests hot and solid against her thigh.
“We take care of each other, huh?” His words bloom warm in her chest and the smile she offers him is the biggest relief. He reaches behind her to grab the bar of soap, lathering up his hands. It’s a strange contrast, the roughness of his palms and the tenderness of the press of his skin against hers as he trails over every inch of her body he can reach. She gets both, and she knows it’s a gift.
His touch begins to linger and stutter, squeezes left to his favorite parts of her, his grin growing smugger with each shudder he coaxes out of her. 
“We’re wasting water. Maria’s gonna kill us.” He groans low at that, laying a harsh squeeze to her ass that she yelps at.
“That is the last thing I wanna think about right now.” She breathes out a laugh as he corners her against the tiled wall. She barely manages to flip off the water as he presses against her, licking hotly into her mouth. With a light tug to his damp waves, he pulls away, both of them panting in the humid bathroom air.
“Can we at least get dried off? The last thing I want is one of us slipping and cracking our skull open.” Joel grumbles at that, shaking his head as he steps in closer. However, with the step he takes, his back heel slips out causing him to stumble into her as they both struggle to stay upright. They’re a tangle of limbs as they find their footing, her arms wrapped over his shoulders and his around her waist. Looking at each other, all they can do is laugh.
“Would it kill you to tell me I’m right every now and again?” She teases him, a crooked grin as she stays wrapped up in his arms.
“You’re right– you’re right– you’re right. There, will that do, darlin?” He punctuates each repetition with a chaste kiss to her lips, leaving her laughing as he jostles her in his hold. She hums lightly.
“Hmm, I suppose. For now.” He huffs at that, retaliating with a hard smack to the curve of her ass that has her jolting in his grip, causing them both to stumble about in the shower again. They’re fools for each other, only for each other.
Drying off is made all but impossible by the way they stay glued to each other, and their skin is still damp when they finally make it to their bed, toppling into the sheets still tangled up in kisses and sighs and wandering hands. Joel coaxes her onto her back, settling between her legs as he trails a hand down to her cunt, dragging a brazen swipe through her heat that has her arching up into her touch.
“Joel, please– no teasing tonight. I just– I need you, baby.” He shushes her with a kiss, fingers languidly circling her clit.
“You’ve got me, darlin– not going anywhere, huh? Gonna give you what you need.” She has to bite back a whine at the loss of his touch, but it’s only a fleeting desperation as he presses the throbbing tip of his cock up against her entrance. Though it’s been a while, they move well together like they always do, bodies in complete communion as she draws her leg up along his waist, opening up to him as he presses his hips forward. He stills with his hips hilted into hers, his forehead pressing into her sternum with a ragged sigh. 
“Fucking hell– missed you so bad, mama– s’not fair how good you feel– not gonna last like this–” His voice is hoarse, broken by sweet agony, and she tries to soothe him with a smattering of kisses to his hairline, drawing him to look up at her.
“It’s ok, baby. Just wanna feel you– feel so perfect, Joel. Can you move for me?” She presses a kiss to the crease between his brows and he chases after her lips, groaning into a deep kiss as he rolls his hips back only to snap them forward again. He swallows the gasp she lets out at the deep grind of him, her nails digging into his shoulders as he guides them into that familiar push and pull. 
In just the few months of having their girl, they’ve learned how to keep quiet, all breathy sighs and muffled kisses, but she’s having a hard time holding back her high-pitched whimpers at the way he’s thrusting into her, punctuating each snap of his hips with a hard grind that strokes a spot inside her that’s already tilting her over the edge of pleasure. But it starts to become too much when Joel brings his fingers back to her clit, drawing stuttering swipes that have her spasming around him.
“C’mon, mama– let go for me– want it so bad– that’s it, darlin–” his praises become muffled noise as she comes, her heels now digging into his ass where her legs are wrapped around him, clutching him as he fucks her through the rolling high. Joel is quick to follow, pulling out of her with a harsh groan and sloppily stroking himself a few times before his warmth is smearing across the plush of her thigh. It's a far cry from the heated trysts they used to engage in, hours on end of tangled passion long traded in for these little bursts of love that she cherishes just as much, if not more.
He collapses next to her, slumping on his back, his arm crossed over himself to keep his palm splayed over her stomach. She rests her hand on top of his, tangling their fingers together as they both catch their breath. But, there isn’t much time to revel in the moment when soft cries start to carry from across the hall. She can’t help but smile as she looks at him, and he lets out a sigh.
“Go get cleaned up, mama. I’ve got her.” He punctuates his words with a kiss, leaning over and brushing his fingers along her cheek. They share a quietly murmured “love you,” and she idly watches him get up, the soft pull of his muscles as he slips on a t-shirt and a pair of boxers before padding across the hall to Libby’s room.
They don’t get to sleep in their own bed that night. After getting cleaned up, she trails into the nursery, finding Joel quietly singing to their girl in the rocking chair. He glances up at her, but keeps singing, his voice low and sweet, lulling Libby back to sleep in his arms. With their girl tucked back in her crib, they wind up in a close tangle on the twin bed.
It's the best sleep they've gotten in a month.
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reverie-starlight · 10 months ago
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it's about time I wrote something for owl head. @luvring I blame you for launching me right back into my bokuto era. not sure how I feel about my characterization of him yet, but it's a work in progress. considering it's my first time writing him, I don't think it's too horrible!!
gn!reader, no physical descriptions. established relationship, fluff fluff fluff, he is such a baby omg. I just want to see him happy, he's so sunshiney and warm. slight, miniscule, microscopic suggestiveness in one part.
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early mornings can get a bit hectic when your boyfriend spends the night.
they used to be worse, you will admit, but even if you've both established somewhat of a morning routine, actually putting the plan into motion always proves to be a difficult task.
hopefully things settle after he moves in, you think.
you take a few moments to bask in the early morning silence that follows the swift movements of shutting off of your alarm (it's far too cold out for birds to chirp outside your window, and your apartment's not too close to any busy streets) and admire the sweet man beside you. ever the deep sleeper, bokuto's snores pop you out of your bubble.
you check the time again and feel your face form an expression of pure disdain when it registers that you have less time to get ready than usual. you turn to the side.
he's facing away from you- an oddity, considering he usually has one hand on you at all times- broad back on display, expanding and deflating with every breath he takes.
it almost feels wrong to disrupt him, but you know he has to get up for practice soon anyway, so you attempt a softer wake up method.
you put out your hand and trace patterns over his skin. it's warm and soft and makes you want to cuddle up melt into him for the rest of time. knowing him, he wouldn't mind that one bit.
he barely stirs at the feeling of your fingertips, so you do get closer this time and press light kisses against his shoulder blade.
the back of his bicep.
the centre of his back.
a few along his spine.
the spot just behind his heart.
you watch as goosebumps follow your trail of kisses and smile as he shuffles and finally turns to face you.
"good morning, baby..." he yawns and gives you a sleepy, closed-eye smile.
it breaks your heart that you're going to have to cut this moment short, but it has to be done. you're already cutting it too close for comfort (last night's activities had forced you to set a later alarm). any longer in bed and you'd both be late for work.
you card a hand through his hair and match his expression. "good morning, koutarou. it's time to get up." you keep your voice low and sweet, hoping to keep him sleepy enough to just go along with whatever you say.
but it seems that fate is not on your side this morning.
he opens one eye just a crack and begins to nod before freezing and promptly burying his face into your chest. he wraps his arms around your torso, making you you groan a little. "I need to make up for not holding you while I was sleeping."
while the sentiment is sweet, you would think that him getting ready to move in with you would make up for it. but apparently not even the prospect of spending every night from now on in your arms is enough to satisfy him.
"ko, please," you huff and try to pry his arm off. you really don't want to be late for work. things have been picking up lately and you definitely don't want to be chewed out by your boss for poor time management.
but bokuto does not waver. he may be a big baby sometimes, and he may do everything in his power to make you happy, but he is also incredibly determined and annoyingly stubborn.
especially when it comes to sleep.
so he just holds you tighter, mumbling out little apologies for not keeping you warm during the night. you giggle at that, because you are nothing if not warm whenever he's around. his presence is akin to summer's sunshine- so genial and bright that you can feel his love even without the physical gestures he always insists upon.
you stroke his back and just as you're about to give in to him, a small, smug smile appears on his face.
"bokuto koutarou!" you gasp "you know exactly what you're doing, don't you?"
he laughs into your chest and you can feel it reverberate throughout your body. "just stay with me a bit longer, when was the last time you took a sick day, anyway?"
his voice is littered with drowsiness and it only makes you want to give into him even more.
how is it that you've always seen yourself as the clingy one in the relationship? the thought makes you laugh a bit and he looks up at you hopefully.
but sadly, one of you needs to have some self discipline, so you cup his face in your hands and squish his cheeks together. "nice try, lover boy, but you promised me you'd get up on time."
he pouts and you try not to crack a smile at how funny it looks with a squished face. "but baby-"
"nope! you brought this on yourself, ko. besides," you do let your smile break through this time. "you're the one who insisted on setting a later alarm." you poke his nose to punctuate your sentence.
"you're the one who insisted we'd have more than enough time to get ready." poke.
"and you're the one who kept begging to go round after round despite me telling you this would happen," poke.
you squeal a bit when he suddenly gets up to hover over you, a mischievous, almost predatory look in his eyes that can only mean no good. “sorry- who was the one begging, baby?”
he digs his fingers into your side, causing you to giggle and squirm underneath him. his other arm holds him up and cages you in just enough that you're unable to roll away to safety.
the thing with bokuto is that he can be incredibly playful and child-like, yes; but like most people on earth, he also has moments that remind you he's much more dynamic than the endearing traits he most often presents.
you'd consider yourself lucky to be one of the few to see every side of him, but as you lay underneath him with a giddy feeling in your stomach from how handsome he looks while tormenting you, you only feel your self-discipline melting away.
he might be rebranding himself as an "ordinary" ace now (much to the surprise of everyone who knew him in high school), but you've been convinced for years that there's nothing ordinary about him at all. his determination, skill and unconditional love for you proved your theory every day.
fine, maybe one "sick" day wouldn't hurt.
"okay, okay!" you gasp out through your laughter. "we can stay in bed if you stop tickling me!"
his smile is positively blinding as he retracts his hand from your side and flops back on top of you. "thank you, babe. can I tell you a secret?"
you raise an eyebrow and he takes that as signal to continue. he "lowers" his voice to a whisper-yell and says "I don't actually have practice today."
you blink at him. "ko, what?"
he lets out an excited laugh. "I tricked you. I came up with this whole plan to keep you home with me today and it worked."
the unmistakable pride in his voice washes away any annoyance building up within you and opens you up to hearing him out. "explain."
"you've been working so much lately, I can see how much it's wearing you out," he rolls onto his side to face you better and cup your face with one hand. "and last night practice got cancelled super suddenly 'cause coach got sick or something. so I decided we should both have the day off since we both work super hard. also... I didn't want to be lonely," he mumbles at the end.
you snort at his honesty and shake your head in appreciation. that's why he was being so insistent? how did you manage to land someone as unabashedly sweet and caring as him? you started the day worrying about being late, and now work is the last thing on your mind. you grab your phone off the night stand and quickly leave your boss a message, letting her know you won't be coming in because of some sudden illness.
bokuto watches you closely and allows you to cuddle into him with a smile after setting the device back down. "so... does this mean my master plan worked?"
you nodded into his bare chest and let the stress you've been storing for weeks release alongside a deep sigh. "can't leave my sweet boy feeling lonely, now can I?"
you say it as a joke, but you hope he hears the appreciation in your voice... that he can feel how thankful you are for him looking out for you.
it all remains unsaid for a while longer, but you know he understands the underlying message when he kisses your forehead and prompts you to get more sleep.
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BONUS:
you wake up again a couple hours later to a strange burning smell.
you're up immediately, not registering the fact that your boyfriend is not beside you anymore until you stumble into the kitchen and see him standing at the stove, stirring away.
the domestic view makes you excited for all of your mornings going forward looking like this, but you also make a mental note to buy a new set of pans before that happens.
he must feel you watching him, because he turns to greet you with a wide grin. "mornin', baby!"
"morning..." you make your way to the table and take a seat where there's already a glass of water. "are you making breakfast?" you try to keep your nerves out of your voice. he's not the worst cook in the world, and he's definitely improved since meeting you, but... he's still working on lunch recipes. he hasn't graduated to complicated breakfast foods yet.
he nods excitedly. "yup! I already had some cereal, though. I was gonna surprise you with breakfast in bed, but since you're up we can sit at the table." bokuto turns the stove off and scrapes... whatever it is evenly onto a plate. "it's a bit burnt, but it should still be good!"
he sets it down in front of you and the burning smell only gets stronger. you can see now that he had attempted pancakes. you smile up at him thankfully, but you wonder how you're going to get the round discs down without creating an unnatural chemical reaction within your stomach.
"I know it's been a while since we've had a proper breakfast together like this, and you mentioned a while ago that you've been craving pancakes, so I thought today would be the perfect day for that."
you can almost feel your pupils dilate when he says that. your heart beats faster and you feel warm all over (again). he remembered something like that? you don't even remember saying it, which leads you to believe that he's been storing it in his mind for a while now.
you scarf down the pancakes.
they're not good by any means, but you know they were made with love and that makes them the best damn pancakes you've ever tasted. you'd rather endure a the worst stomach ache imaginable than make this man sad.
his eyes widen. "woah! you must've been really hungry, do you want me to make you more? as many as you want, just give me a number!"
you tear up a bit, from affection for him or a reaction to the pancakes, you're not sure. "no, baby, these were perfect. do you want some coffee?"
he nods his head. "I wouldn't mind one if you're offering."
you kiss his cheek and move over to the coffee machine, still overflowing with love, but the taste of the charred breakfast lingers on your tongue. as you're grabbing a mug, you casually ask "hey baby? would you ever want to take a cooking class with me?"
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I lowkey hate how it turned out, but not enough to keep it in the drafts. hope you enjoyed!!
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