#it's just people supporting and loving each other for who they are

[ember-des-meeres]

Doing this not only for myself, but for any future relationships with actual kind and healthy people who somehow, miraculously, really want to be with me, too :(

To whoever that unicorn is, if I ever actually even find him:

I'm sorry I'm like this, I know you didn't ask for this and I'm sure you definitely don't deserve all of my trauma responses to seemingly unrelated as hell shit, or any trauma-dumping that I may vomit out only to over-apologize to you for later and then try to over-compliment you for handling in some unconscious sad attempt to make up for it because I know it's an unhealthy rollercoaster, I know that my fawning response only weakens your perception of me and hurts the relationship, I know that my fear of abandonment can create a self-fulfilling prophecy, I know that you cannot fix me for me and that only I can do that (with proper help). I never, ever want to feel like another worry or a burden. Re-parenting is really hard work, but I really do want to be a stronger person - not just for myself, but for us. I want to be your partner. I want you to be able to rely on me to ease the burden, not add to it. I really am doing my very best to work on myself, both inside and out, and become someone who is worthy of that for you. I promise that I don't need someone who's perfect, just someone who tries, and I only ask to be bestowed that same exact courtesy. I am loyal to a fault. I will fight for you and for our family. I will show up and support you. I want to be someone that you can't wait to talk about your day to. I want to be someone who you are excited to share things with. I want to be someone who can get you to laugh, especially when I know you really need it - and I also want you to feel understood and respected on the days that you just need to be alone or do your own thing, because I know I have those days, too, and some respectful distance is healthy. I want you to feel free to have your own friends just as I have mine. I want you to feel safe trusting me and being yourself around me. I want to play silly video games with you and I want to travel the world with you. I want our home to be filled with laughter and creativity and comfort and fun, wherever it is. I don't want us to just tolerate each other and survive, I want us to actually feel safe and happy and loved in our home. I really hope that you can forgive me for the times that I slip up :( because I really do want us to thrive and have a wonderful life together - and I believe that if we both are sincerely working at it, then we really can.

With love, Someone who is already working on it

Honestly it boils down to reparenting yourself & rewiring your own neuronal pathways & telling yourself a firm “stop” when you notice your mind slipping down negative loopholes & being present in the moment & enjoying being mid task rather than waiting for it to end & not thinking of inertia as your baseline and natural way of living

[wtfaniii]

I can do it alone, but he can also save me

Fem reader x Hwang In-ho / Fem reader x Hwang Jun-ho

Part 1 // Part 2

•Summary: Jun-ho's girlfriend was a decorated policegirl, strong and brave, she, along with Gi-hun were taken to the games to stop them, however, there was a setback in between

•Note: Thanks for the support! Here I bring you the second part of this one shot that is personally one of my favorites.

•Warning: Maybe some drama, Some violence and attempted abuse, ¡Don't worry! this man arrives on time like a prince on a white horse

N/A: I haven't checked this yet, sorry if it has spelling mistakes

Gi-hun had told some participants that the next game would be dalgona, but it was not so and now they were upset with him, surrounding him and complaining about his mistake, calling him a "liar."

—You guys decided to play these games —the girl said standing in front of Gi-hun —Face the consequences and don't expect someone to come and save us.

—He's a fraud! —Player 100 shouted at him, pointing at accusingly and with contempt.

—ibelieve in him word —001 interrupted, standing next to her.

Due to the first impression that the two made on all the players, the complaints immediately stopped and retreated.

—It's nothing, I really believe you —Young-il said with a friendly expression

—And if you allow me... I would like to be on your team.

The next game would be in teams of five players, counting the girl, Gi-hun, Jung-bae, Dae-ho and now Young-il, they were full, however, when they were talking to get to know each other a little, a woman with the number 222 on his uniform approached them cautiously.

—¿Can I be on your team? Please —Jung-bae was going to interrupt her to tell that they were full but the young woman finished his sentence first —I'm pregnant.

The five pairs of eyes fell on the small bulge of her belly and noticed that it was true. Immediately, the woman spoke. —I'll look for another team.

—¿Are you sure you'll do it?— In-ho asked, looking at her carefully. A person who looked out for someone else's well-being in these games was rare to see, but considering the situation, it was quite understandable. He wouldn't give up his place if he wasn't so interested in his enemy.

She nodded confidently and left to find another team, it didn't take long, after all, most people took advantage of having someone like her on their team just by considering the word "police" in their introduction.

Once the teams were formed and they were told what had to do, they sat on the floor to wait the turn.

As time passed and gunshots mixed with screams sounded in the background, the young woman thought silently.

¿Will Jun-ho be okay? She really hoped so, she had known him for four years and knew that there were times when he could go to extremes to get what wanted.

It was something she loved about him but right now just worried about.

—¿What game are you going to play? —246 asked sitting next to her, momentarily taking her out of his thoughts.

—Gonggi —answered immediately, she was very good at that game, it had been his favorite since she was a child.

The others nodded and continued talking, she didn't go there with the intention of socializing too much.

For starters.

She was only there because Jun-ho had asked her to.

Jun-ho...

She just hoped him could find her and Gi-hun in time.

The policeman had no intention of stopping now, even without having the tracker active and with the fact that apparently someone was sabotaging them from inside, he was not going to stop searching.

The woman he loved was in those games, that wasn't going to be the plan, she was only supposed to be Gi-hun's bodyguard but things didn't go as planned.

—I think we should stop, it's almost time to eat and we're a bit far from the shore.

—We can't be so close now —he said, somewhat irritated and helpless. —Every minute they spend on that island is a danger.

He felt guilty for having dragged her into his own problems.

He remembered the last conversation he had with her before he lost sight of her.

[...]

—We are police officers —Jun-ho said, showing his badge to the guard who was guarding the entrance of the place

—Just like everyone else tonight —the man said with a mocking laugh, pointing at the long line waiting to get into the Halloween party.

Jun-ho didn't have enough patience to tolerate this, so with no other choice he went up to the man and took his gun out of his pocket.

—¿Do you want to see if this is a toy?

The guard stepped back in fear, giving them free passage.

The girl smiled proudly and waved her hand as if it were hot while sighed.

—That's my man —she boasted to the guard as they crossed the entrance. Jun-ho managed to hear her and inevitably a sly smile appeared on his lips.

—We have to find him before they do —he said, referring to Gi-hun searching the crowd but no masked pink guard was visible.

—It will be faster if we separate —she added, taking out her weapon and pointing it at the ground just to be ready in case used it —When we leave here it will be fondue night —she said without losing her charming touch.

It was something they both shared, despite being in tense situations like this, comments like that were never lacking, especially from the girl and that was something Jun-ho adored, her daring was part of what made the policeman fall in love with her.

—Maybe I should drag you into my problems more often —He replied with a smile and separated from her.

The girl was the first to find Gi-hun and surprisingly they let her get into the limo with him.

Jun-ho was unhappy about that but he couldn't change her mind and just when they thought they could intercept the front man of those suicide games they were forced to make a last-minute decision by shooting at the tires of the cars.

[...]

His stomach turned just remembering what people go through inside those games, he trusted that she could survive but the odds of not making him tremble and want to vomit.

—Okay... we'll call off the search —He relented after a few minutes.

He looked up at the sky and asked whoever would listen him to keep the woman he loves alive.

Meanwhile on the island, they had managed to get through the second game alive, she was sitting with Gi-hun's team silently watching around them when 001 sat next to her.

—Hi... —he greeted her with a soft smile, hoping that the mask being Young-il was convincing enough to fool her —I'm curious... if you're a police officer, ¿how did you end up here?

—¿Debts? —She replied with a false smile —My job was to take care of Mr. Seong but it didn't turn out the way I had in mind —she admitted, looking away again but feeling Young-il's intense gaze on her.

—So... ¿you're here as an undercover agent? —he asked, feigning surprise and curiosity.

He himself was the one who gave the order to allow her to also get into the limousine to accompany Gi-hun.

In-ho knew his brother would be worried about her, searching for her relentlessly, but it was inevitable, he needed to meet her in person and be sure how good of an influence she was on Jun-ho.

Or at least he thought it was a good excuse.

—Yeah... —She looked at him silently and attentively when she noticed a certain peculiarity in him appearance —¿Do I know you from somewhere? I feel like I've seen you before...

Him face seemed familiar but she couldn't figure out why. In-ho kept eye contact with her, waiting for her answer.

It was a pity, if she recognize it him had no other option to let her die in the next games but luckily for the girl she denied it.

—Forget it, I'm just stressed ¿And why are you here?

—My wife is sick and pregnant.

She looked at him with pity as he told her his story, it wasn't a lie, it was just that it happened years ago and he couldn't do anything to keep her alive.

—I'm sorry —The girl said after he finished his words.—I promise we'll get out of here and I'll help you as much as I can with the expenses.

The police had money, not to say that she was a millionaire but she lived in a good social status, she was willing to help him only because her heart was softened by him story.

–You barely know me, ¿why would you do that?

—My boyfriend has also had a somewhat hard life and I took this job for a reason, to help others.

She did not consider herself a saint, but if she had the opportunity to do something good for other people, she would do it regardless of the consequences.

—Also... I think I'm pregnant —She said with a small smile.

How chaotic and unfair could fate be that just one night before she was to go to the medical laboratory for her results, she was taken to those games against will.

On the other hand, she could also feel a slight connection with this stranger, which was why she revealed that to him so naturally, but she still didn't know exactly why.

—I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back.

He nodded and watched her leave but his eyes also noticed three other suspicious looking players who followed her into the bathroom.

Without thinking twice he also stood up.

Not even two minutes had passed since she entered the bathroom when a woman grabbed her by the collar of the jacket and threw her backwards, making her fall on back.

–¿You remember me? —the woman demanded, looking at her with disdain and annoyance

—No —She answered standing up.

—You threw my husband into prison and won't be out for another twenty years —The woman pulled out a small pocket knife and another woman stood behind the police girl to hold her —I thought about how to kill you for days.

—Very cute, I still don't know who you are.

Those words only made the woman even more furious as lunged at her and tried to stab her,

Her hard training served her well in this unarmed fight.

But she was counting on another man to come in to help the two players who were trying to kill the young policewoman.

—Three against one unarmed is not fair... —she gasped for air as saw that he had a small opening in his head, her had hit himself on the sink at one point during the fight.

—¡It was also not fair that my husband was sentenced to twenty years in prison for attempted abuse!

—Oh, believe me, I tried to make it forty.

A kick to the face from one of them managed to stun her long enough to give them time to pin her down on the cold, damp bathroom floor.

She couldn't hear clearly what they were saying but when she saw how the man placed himself on top of her, their intentions were quite clear.

She didn't have enough strength to continue defending himself, her felt bleeding from his leg from the knife and the cut on his head hurt, but like a hero coming to save the day, Young-il walked through the door and shouted "Hey!"

That small interruption was enough for her to hit the man in the genitals with her knee, making him move away and moan in pain.

She was too stunned to see what was happening, but before she knew it, he had her in him arms and walked out of the bathroom leaving the two women unconscious on the floor and the man with a bleeding nose.

—¡You should do a better job as guards! —he yelled at the two pink soldiers guarding the door, she didn't know it but that scolding was enough to fire those two.

He carefully led her to the men's room where, due to his front man advantages, he was able to have a guard deny another player access until he said so.

—Thanks... —Her murmured as he dropped her on the ground—But I had it under control.

She let out a giggle that made his ribs hurt, In-ho refrained from laughing, now he had to focus on fixing her wounds.

—Being a police officer you made many enemies —He said while using his jacket with some water to clean her.

—You have no idea.

In-ho continued to clean her wounds and after a few minutes everything was better for her, the girl stood up cautiously because of the wound on her leg and thanked Young-il with a small bow.

—Thanks for helping me, for the second time.

—I hope it doesn't become routine —he said with a soft smile, looking her up and down unconsciously.

When they came out of the bathroom there were suspicious glances but neither of them cared.

It was cute, she liked the way this man treated whenever her found himself in trouble, in a way he reminded her of Jun-ho,

She liked that even though she could defend herself, there was still a knight in shining armor who would arrive in the worst situations.

Young-il, the gentleman who arrived just in time and the only one who knew about her suspected pregnancy.

tag list:

@raya4643 @lvspedri @iloveoldermen0204 @ravenslocked

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ bad liar ]❜

━━━ .°˖✧ requested by @gothic-rat112 (lost the ask...) ˚₊ ⊹

ft. seong gi-hun x f! reader — squid game

╰₊✧ how he is when jealous & insecure┊1.2k words 

setting: season 1 contains: age gap relationship (unspecified but legal obviously), insecurity & jealousy, he’s a little immature & broke as hell but it’s okay i love pathetic men, reader is a sweetheart, this is all over the place omfg

➤ author's note: okay i kinda went on a tangent, first season because i miss his stupid smile and his fluffy hair (also look at how cute he is in this gif omfg i love him sm, i need to write for him more, underrated in his own show, THE PUPPY EYES)

╰₊✧ honestly, gi-hun isn’t so much as jealous as he is insecure. sure, he has an outgoing personality and always makes you laugh without fail, but he can’t think of any other positive traits aside from that. he doesn’t think of himself as particularly attractive with his scruffy appearance, and he’s painfully aware that he’s lacking when it comes to finances and has a gambling problem to boot. on top of all that, he was a divorced middle-aged man who didn’t even have joint custody of his only daughter and still lived with his mom rent-free, a terrible husband, father, and son— he’s truthfully the type of man people avoid when dating.

╰₊✧ yet he still managed to pull a pretty young thing like you who looks past all that, not sure if you were stupid or desperate. during the first few weeks of being together, he made jokes about still being able to date younger women in his old age because he was still in disbelief it was happening, but when you stuck by his side through all his flaws and the first year passed with you supporting him to get better, insecurity hit him like a ton of bricks when he realized that he was genuinely in love with you and that he didn’t have what it took to be the boyfriend you deserved when he wasn’t even someone his biological family deserved. 

╰₊✧ he sees other people buying their girls jewelry and clothing from name-brand stores, taking them out to eat in luxury restaurants with multiple courses, driving them around in european cars, and he’s out here saving money to do something as little as cake for your anniversary. he’s always on cloud nine when he spends time with you, but there’s something so humbling about looking up “broke date ideas” and scraping together what he already has to make it more special. no matter how much things like that don’t matter to you with the mindset of the intention counting more than the price, he still feels shitty about having you pay for most of the things you do together when he’s the man and the older one in the relationship along with the fact that you were barely better off than he was. 

walks around to admire the sights: especially during holiday seasons when there are pretty lights, you like holding his hand and admiring the sights of the city you often take for granted. if the streets are empty then he doesn’t mind it, but he does get self-conscious about the looks you both get so it’s not super common.

candlelit dinners of takeout and beer: a regular one, gi-hun likes to gather a bunch of candles to make the place look a little more romantic, maybe even having some roses to make it look nicer. the man doesn’t cook much though, so you’ll just have replated takeout with bottles of beer, but he always makes it lively with conversation and puts effort into fixing his hair to look more handsome.

and anything else he can think of, he can be really creative when it comes to you and you’re pleasantly surprised each time.

╰₊✧ these things bother him a lot more than he will let on, but he tries to stay all smiles around you which you see right through like glass. he’s a bad liar, a trait he would always get in trouble for when he was a child since he couldn’t lie about his antics.

╰₊✧ he feels awful when he finds that you also entered these games to pay off your respective debts, because no matter how much you try to convince him you aren’t, he knows that you intended to use any extra money to help him out as well with his debt being higher than yours. it should be the other way around, he should be the one helping you, and when the first shots are fired during “red light, green light,” he makes you swear that you won’t come back.

╰₊✧ of course, you do come back, because while he is your boyfriend, you’re also a grown-ass woman who can do what she pleases (also because you’re desperate and prefer not to find out what those loan sharks would do to you if it took too long to pay them back, and you might as well go to support gi-hun because you know his ass went back).

╰₊✧ he feels a little bit better about himself seeing all of the other people in a similar position as him, drowning in debt and petrified of death. he tries to be protective over you, but let’s be honest, you’re the protective one who mothers him, and since the constant threat of death is always looming, he lets you do it even if it looks stupid. people are either judgemental or jealous, but there are bigger things to worry about.

“people are staring…” he muttered, his eyes darting around to meet theirs and watching as they looked away the second eye contact was made. “you don’t need to do this, you know, it’s a little embarrassing.”

“i don’t care, let them stare,” you stated simply, rubbing into the back of his shoulders with practiced circular motions. “they are just jealous that they don’t have a cute girlfriend to take care of them like you do, and i want to! your muscles are so tense— i don’t want you participating in the next games when you aren’t in the best shape. we could die any day here, i want to give you all the love i can!”

╰₊✧ jealous of sang-woo with his intelligence and emotional security. even if both of them are wearing the same teal tracksuit, his childhood friend was in here because of failed investments which sounded a lot better than just losing constant bets in gambling dens. (to be fair, if you were gi-hun’s controversially young girlfriend, i don’t think either of you would get along well as he probably looks down on you and you probably find him stuck up, so he doesn’t have to worry about you being stolen away by him). not really jealous of that block-head deok-su hitting on you, after the little altercation they had on the first day, more annoyed than anything but the feeling quickly vanishes when he sees you reject him with a roll of your eyes. 

╰₊✧ actually jealous of anyone your age paying attention to you, especially ali who has a really sweet personality and gets along with you really well, maybe even sae-byeok who has a pretty face and is decently nice once you get to know her. 

“you need to stop pouting.”

“‘m not pouting…”

“you’re a bad liar, you know that? but it’s so cute,” you exclaimed, reaching out to pinch his cheeks childishly. “you don’t need to be jealous of ali, he’s already married and has a kid.”

“i know, i know…”

“i don’t think you do.”

╰₊✧ it’s so obvious when he’s jealous, it’s actually painful. he stares holes into the head of the person talking to you and is pouty until you address it. he’ll also blush when you call him out and tease him about it, it’s so cute. please give him assurance, pinch his cheeks, ruffle his fluffy hair, and give him lots of kisses, he deserves it.

(author is slightly delirious with a fever, i took medicine dw, i just really wanna kiss gihun)

[acciocriativity]

->You're hyper independent || Ateez Reactions || Hyung Line

Genre: fluff, angst (because of the theme on itself), slice of life AU

Warnings: NONE

N/A: This is a very real trauma response that real people have. However, I tried to keep it light, humorous, and focus on the support and love the reader received from the boys in different contexts instead of the actual trauma triggering situation that cause the trauma response. If I, in any way, offend people who have this trauma response, I'm open to learning and editing this, if necessary.

N/A ²: This is a gender neutral! reader.

Ateez Masterlist

Kim Hongjoong (김홍중): You don’t let him pay for you, and he’s helpless

On your very first date with Hongjoong, just as casually as he wiped out his card to pay for the meal, you wiped out yours. That day, he learned you were as hardheaded as he was, which was an interesting surprise. There was no dance of “Oh, I pay. No, it’s okay, I can pay. No, I insist. Oh, if you insist, then…” as he imagined at first. If you said you were going to pay, then you would do so. In the end, you both agreed to slip the bill even.

That was a common occurrence at the beginning of your relationship, a spit-even bill no matter the cost of the meal or whatever you were doing together.

It wasn’t like he was flaunting his money, nor did he want to offend you in any way, which you didn’t think was the case, thank God. It just became second nature for him to be attentive to those around him, and if he had an opportunity to do something nice for people he cared about, why would he not? Why wouldn’t you let him? You thought he was adorable when he vented that to you on a 1 A.M. something call, like those thoughts plagued his dreams or something. You liked your man a little dramatic like that.

There were times when it was a given that he bought something for the two of you, and then you made sure to put your money on something else for you both that same day. He thought you would rather keep things “separated” at that stage, where things were uncertain, to not create any kind of “debts” with each other, it seemed, although he didn’t agree with that trail of thoughts at all, and it was a bit offensive to him. First, because he’d never be the type of man to expect anybody to owe him anything after dinner, and second, because he hadn’t any doubts about the relationship.

His suspicions weren’t that far off, honestly. You said plainly you rather avoid any discomfort or expectations at this stage of your relationship with him, and he could sleep well because you knew how caring he was even if he wasn’t the one paying for you.

It was lovely for him to know what you thought of him. A simple phrase made his day, and if that was your answer, then he wouldn’t push it. Even if he was desperate to know what those discomforts were for you and if they happened frequently in the past.

For now, he’d gladly wait for you while you met in the middle, even if he feels a little helpless.

Park Seonghwa (박성화): he isn’t allowed to baby you like you baby him, but mama raised no bitch

It wasn’t a rule per se, but the only 3 times he ever tried to baby you during your one-year relationship like you usually do with him, two of them made you almost become physically ill, and the last of them, you were, in fact, ill.

He never thought karma would hit him as hard as it did when he met you for the first time. His tsundere exterior was nothing compared to yours. It felt like he encountered another version of himself, one that he lost to instantly. It was safe to say your charm wasn’t cuteness. It was how attentive you were, how you cared for anyone around you in a quiet and practical way, and how you were honest above all. You were reliable, steady, and so so warm with those you cared for. He was down bad before he could say the word “tsundere”.

The first time was a mistake, almost an instinct. It wasn’t rare for you to be cute unintentionally, but just as much as one shouldn’t make any sudden noise to not scare a grumpy cat away after it laid near, he should not have cooed and pinched your cheeks while you tried some of his stew at a dinner night at his house, the first of many.

He didn’t move, his arms hurt from the position he was in. The sheer astonishment on your face made him freeze, but there was no way of reversing time. There was no running from this. It was done. He feared for his life as you slowly processed what was happening to you.

It was clear how deeply you disliked it, even if you didn’t say so, and Seonghwa always prided himself on being a great boyfriend, so he kept that in mind to never do it again.

But he is just a man at the end of the day, a very, very weak man, and your cheeks are really, really perfect to pinch. Still, he chose his battles carefully, and the last two attempts were successful because you always let him off the hook without much of anything. In all honesty, he was the cutest and childlike one in the relationship even if he didn’t show it after first, and you fell hard for that side of him. The way his pretty brown eyes shined with mischief whenever he got away with calling you cute or cooing at you melted your heart on the spot, so you let him.

If it was anyone else, you’d run as far as you could from whoever it was, even your own parents. You were just not a touchy person at all, because maybe you grew up without people giving that kind of love to you then, but you got used to it from Seonghwa. Of course, it was best if he never knew how much power he actually had, so you let him fear for his life for a moment or two.

Unfortunately, Seonghwa was a cute, silly man, but he was your cute, silly man.

Jeong Yunho (정윤호): You don’t ask him for help, but what else can he do with his acts of service love language?

You two have been friends for a good while now, that kind of friend who everyone thought would amount to something else yet never did. The time to risk for something more was the night you two met, but neither of you took any action then. Now, you two had a good friendship, and that was more than enough for both of you.

Yunho couldn’t lie and say he hadn’t thought of what ifs with you in the past, but in his mind, you were never interested in him like this, so the whole thing was pointless. You didn’t seem interested in a romantic relationship then just as much as you don’t now, and he was fine with it.

You had a nice future ahead of you. A lot of your time was spent on building a good curriculum for college and then a solid career for yourself in a predominantly male industry. It was a rough path, sometimes you wondered if that was the right choice or not, doubted your own capabilities because your colleagues did so all the time, but at the end of the day you had amazing people to remind you who you were, you had Yunho. Sometimes, you wondered if he was a mind reader of sorts.

You dreaded the simple thought of looking weak, even if it was something as little as asking for some space to vent. You grew up with the mindset that any kind of vulnerability was bad, which wasn’t healthy for you at all, but it feels like it’s too late to change, even if you want to. However, the thing about Yunho is that he’d never allow you to ask for anything because he hands you anything you might need.

Did you need someone to distract you after a rough day of work? That’s a given. His silly memes and TikTok’s were waiting for your reply. Oh, you actually needed space for yourself? It’s ok. He’s got the hint quickly, and he’d leave you be with a simple encouraging message to remind you to rest and contact him the next day.

The good stuff came when you had your weekend free because he remembered you wanted to shop for a new couch, and given the amount of work, it’d be great to have a helping hand, right? Oh, it’s rot-in-bed day instead? Well, it's a good thing he’s versatile.

You never really asked for an all-in-one man, but you got him anyway, so better enjoy it!

Kang Yeosang (강여상): You’re the only person he choose to chase and God forbid if that ever reaches San’s ears

He’s an idol, he’s been in this industry for almost a decade, so he understood being busy, and this overwhelming need to isolate yourself and forget about everything else outside your room. The key difference is that he couldn’t do that much. However, that seemed to be your favorite way to cope lately. It was a lose-lose for him because if you were not locked away in your own world, then you were busy with a million other things.

You’re the only friend from his childhood he still has a relatively stable relationship because of how close in stages of life you two always have been, even now, both working in very different industries.

It has been like this since the very beginning. You two always aimed to be something in the future when you were kids. What you two would be was a different question, and neither was ready to answer. In the teen years, Yeosang got his answer while you worked hard to get into a good college, hoping to find yours when you got there. That could’ve been the end of the friendship, but you were both so aligned still that it could only be fate. He took a chance at a smaller company, and you decided to study something different than you had imagined for yourself. You both had similar struggles, doubts, and accomplishments around the same time. It was a running joke at this point.

He had to remind himself of that sweet part so he wouldn’t lose it the moment you actually picked up his calls. He knew lately it’s been tough for you. Only you chose not to speak about it and went right into your suffer-alone mode.

The upsetting part of all this was the fact that these were your vacation days, you earned them and he wouldn’t be Kang Yeosang if he’d let you waste it in bed all day after he heard for months all about the places you wanted to go. It was a coincidence the fact that he also recently got some free days for himself.

He was nice enough. He gave you a last heads-up that he was coming. In another life, he could say he wasn’t taking no for an answer, but you wouldn’t say no to him in this lifetime.

It’s only been a while since he was slightly concerned with this “on my own” approach to coping with the pain because you decided not to include him in it. The why he didn’t know, neither was he interested in it. But looking back, you’ve always acted like this, like a little fortress of sorts, like you had to be strong for all to see and this was the first time he was taking an action against it.

[sweetdispatch]

Rookie love - C. Bedard

Next door hearts

pairing: Connor Bedard x Hughes!reader

summary: You and Connor live in the same building and work for Blackhawks. Slowly, you two are falling for each other and he made a cute date for you

warning: none

words: 2.5k

note: my first connor fic yay! based on this request and honestly it lowkey makes me want to do a whole AU with this theme haha

---

It was a tough decision for you. You were just an 18 year old girl who decided to move out all the way to Chicago to study public relations. You could stay in Michigan but the vision of being compared to your older brothers, Quinn and Luke who also had been studying there, wasn’t tempting. You wanted to work on your own brand and name far away from there.

Your parents weren’t the happiest when you announced your decision because you were the youngest kid and with your moving to Chicago, it meant that they will be alone without any kids around. Despite the fact, they had your back and fully supported you and understood your point of view. They even helped you to rent an apartment so you don’t have to live in a dorm. 

Quinn, Jack and Luke weren’t surprised when you shared the news with them, knowing how much you had been struggling in high school with questions about them and being used by your “friends” in the past only because you had famous siblings. Quinn proposed that you can always move to him in Vancouver but you wanted to be independent and the vision of moving to Canada wasn’t something you were craving. 

The year you arrived in Chicago, Connor started playing in his rookie season for the Blackhawks. In fact, he was your neighbor and lived right across the hall from you. He also moved there without his family and had to be independent. At first, you didn’t care about it. You were always saying hello to each other when you two saw each other in the hall but nothing more.

Things changed with time when thanks to your great results in college you got an internship in social media for the Chicago Blackhawks. You were excited and grateful for the opportunity. Your dream always was to work in social media and being capable of doing this in a hockey team when you were raised in a hockey family was incredible. You called your parents to tell them about this and they were proud of you. Finally, your hard work paid off.

In January, you started your internship and quickly became one of the most important people in creating content for social media. Thanks to your young age, new ideas and jumping into trends, the Chicago Blackhawks became one of the best teams in social media. Fans loved the content and people rooting for other teams also found it funny. 

Connor was 1st overall pick and star of the team so you pushed him to do some of the videos for the social media. He wasn’t the happiest because he was shy in front of the camera but you always tried your hardest to make him feel as comfortable as possible. You were also a shy person and you totally understood him. He was delighted to have you as a support and creating content with you wasn’t as scary as it was earlier. 

You and Connor lived in the same apartment building and always were returning from his training or games together. He was more than happy to give you a ride back home. In the first two weeks of your internship, you two bonded and became friends. Both of you had been the same age and lived alone, far away from parents. During roadies, you were staying in Chicago since you had college and many times you received texts from Connor.

They tell me to do this and I don’t want to.

Why have you abandoned me? 

Can you tell them to leave me alone? 

Promise me that you’ll go on the next roadie so I can have support from you behind the camera.

With every message like that, your heart was growing bigger. You didn’t know how much of an impact you have on him and feeling comfortable. You wanted to be there for him but you couldn’t drop college because Connor was shy. You promised him to talk with the others to leave him alone during away games but it wasn’t in your competence to dictate who’s gonna be on the video.

While Connor was away, you were taking care of his apartment and basically cleaned and cooked for him in your free time. When you entered his place for the first time, you could tell that he’s struggling being alone just like you and you wanted him to feel that he has someone on who he can lay on. You had experience with boys since you had three brothers and knew what to do so he could open up. 

Connor was more than grateful to have you. At first, he thought that you’re just a social media girl who’s living in the same building but with time, he saw how much you’re doing for him inside and outside of the work. He wanted to pay you back and always surprised you with flowers and coffee when he knew that you had a rough day in college. 

These small gestures turned into daily dinners and movies. After games, Connor was taking you out on a dinner to later finish the day with a movie in your apartment. It was a cute but meaningful moment between you two. You started talking more and more, he finally opened up and felt that he has a real friend and is not alone. 

Both of you were falling for each other. You two had similar personalities and tried to stay out of the spotlight. You were Connor’ biggest fan and he was your rock. Almost every single day you two were seeing each other even if it meant only for 5 minutes. He knew your schedule perfectly and always tried to give you a donut with coffee before you were heading on college. You also knew his schedule and after every roadie, you were at his apartment preparing meals for him, knowing that he must be tired from flying around America and Canada. It was like an unwritten rule between you. 

When you had been working with the Blackhawks, Connor was more than happy to see you there and was willing to do a content with you. The rest of the team was surprised but no one questioned it. They all thought that it’s because he feels more comfortable around you since you are the same age. It was partially true. He was willing to do content while you were around because he loved to spend time with you. 

Connor’ teammates and other people working in social media never noticed anything unusual in the behaviour between you two. You two kept the friendship and feeling privately and shared it when only two of you were alone. In March, your internship was over but the team offered you full time work in social media. You were beyond happy for this and couldn’t wait for the 2024-2025 season to start so you can work there. 

When you told this to Connor, he smiled like a kid in a candy store. At first, he was sad that you won’t be around for the next 1,5 months but after he heard that you’ll be working there full time, he was the happiest person. You were confident that he was happier about this than you. In that moment, he gained confidence to ask you out on a date. You gladly accepted his invitation and the two of you spent an incredible evening the next day. 

After the season was over for Chicago, Connor decided to stay there for a little longer knowing that you have exams in May. You were always there for him in his lows and highs and he wanted to do the same for you. He was hanging out in your apartment all the time, even if that meant that he had to watch a tv show while you’re studying. Those silent, cute moments made him realise that he wants you as his girlfriend. 

Connor started planning a cute date after your exams when he could ask you to be his girlfriend. In the past 5 months, you two shared a lot of moments together and learned a lot about each other. That’s why instead of a boring date in a restaurant, he planned a day full of attractions to ask you to be his at the end. He was proud of himself but also scared of your reaction. 

“Since we're leaving in a couple of days I was thinking that maybe we could spend a day together?” Connor asked you in the middle of a movie that you two had been watching. 

“But we’re already spending everyday together” You giggled and saw redness growing on his face.

“Yeah but I was thinking about going out, more like… exploring the city” He replied shyly and you smiled at him. 

“I would love that, do you have a plan what to do or are we gonna figure it out tomorrow?” You asked excitedly. 

“I… I actually have a plan already but if you want we can change it” Connor started to ramble and you stopped him.

“We don’t have to, I trust you with your plan” 

“Great, umm how about I’ll pick you around 10AM tomorrow?” 

“Sounds perfect” You smiled and the two of you returned to watching a movie. 

It’s now or never Connor thought.

As Connor promised, he knocked at your door at 10AM. He had flowers in his hand that he bought earlier. He was nervous but he knew there’s nothing scary in you but he was still overthinking this whole day. You opened the door and welcomed him. He was in awe of how gorgeous you looked in your dress. From the nerves, he kept the flowers in his hand instead of giving them to you. 

“Are those flowers for me?” You asked shyly.

“Yeah, sorry” He gave you the flowers and you quickly put them in a vase.

“Shall we go?” You asked him. 

“Yes, I’m right behind you” 

Two of you left your apartment and went into a parking lot. Connor opened the passenger door for you and you thanked him. All the nerves went out of him when you started talking to him about your summer plans. It felt natural between the two of you. The next 20 minutes you were talking about how you are gonna spend the free months. He stopped the car and opened the door for you. 

“I know you didn’t have breakfast so I thought it would be nice to grab donuts and coffee and go to the park” Connor said and you smiled at him. 

“You know me too well” You joked.

Connor ordered your favorite donuts and coffee and you were smiling all the time standing next to him because he remembered those little details about you. When you two got the order, you walked into a park and sat on a bench while eating and joking. After you finished your breakfast, he stood up and you followed him. For the next hour, you two have been walking around the park with coffee in your hands. 

When Connor saw that you’re getting tired, he knew it’s time for another attraction. You two went to his car and he drove you to a place that you always wanted to visit but never had time. It was the Museum of Illusion and it was on your bucket list to get here one day. You were surprised that he remembered this detail because you told him about it months ago. 

You were so excited to go there and Connor was excited for you. For another couple hours you two had been walking around the museum having fun and taking lots of pictures. It was the first time you saw him fully comfortable with taking pictures and you couldn’t be happier that he feels safe around you. Smiles couldn’t disappear from both of your faces.

It was already 4PM when you two left the museum and you were starting to get hungry. Connor had this already planned and drove you to McDonalds to get food. Again, he remembered that you said to him that this is your guilty pleasure food and you could eat it every single day. When you two got the food, you decided to sit in the car and eat in a parking lot while chatting. This day was already perfect but he had one more thing planned. 

Now it was the most nervous part for Connor. He booked a boat trip for you two and after it he wanted to ask you to be his girlfriend. The day was perfect and he didn't want to ruin it. He started to overthink this again but your monologue about wanting to adopt a cat brought him back to reality. He was smiling at the thought of you having a cat because he knew you'd be great with him. After 30 minutes, he parked a car and led you to a boat. 

“You mentioned how much you miss home and spending days on a boat so I thought we could have a boat evening here” He shrugged.

“It’s perfect, I love the idea” You hugged him and he swore that he felt butterflies in his stomach. 

You two walked on the boat and sat here quietly watching the busy city. It was incredible to stop and just relax while enjoying each other's presence. You cuddled into him and he gladly put his hand on you. It was a gentle move but you loved it. You were so in love with him and this day just proved to you that Connor is the guy you want forever. After an hour, you returned to the land and you smiled at him widely.

“Thank you for today. It was the best day of my life” You pecked his cheek and saw a blush on his face. 

“It was a pleasure for me to make your day better but I need to ask you something” He took a deep breath. “I really like you Y/N and I want you as more than a friend. Would you be my girlfriend?” He asked you and you froze in a spot. A boy that you love wants you. After a couple seconds you threw yourself into his arms. 

“I would love to be your girlfriend. You mean the world to me and I’ll be more than happy to be yours” Connor felt relief when you agreed. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked you shyly.

“You don’t have to ask, you’re my boyfriend” You chuckled and the next thing you felt was his lips on yours. It was a passionate kiss full of emotions and love. You couldn’t be happier than today.

yourusername

liked by _connorbedard and 2352 others

yourusername I think I fall in love...🤍

jackhughes You what???

lhughes_06 You have a lot to explain young lady when you get back home.

_quinnhughes That the reason why I was against you going to different city

25 May 2024

[aventurineswife]

Hihihihihi! May I request reader x Dan Heng? Growing up, reader has always been a "Friend to all is a friend to none" type of person. They technically have a lot of friends, but none of them are close to reader as they have more closer friends, and it's just always been like that. Reader has gotten used to it and just thinks that maybe they're the type of person that no one wants.

Cut to reader and Dan Heng having a relationship and in one moment where they were just hanging out, reader suddenly sheds tears because they just can not fathom the thought that someone would actually dedicate themselves, pour all their heart and soul to a relationship with reader, and just reader. Reader still couldn't believe all the love they're getting from Dan Heng and just cries.

This is just totally self-indulgent, thank you!!!!

Never Meant to Be Forgotten

Summary: You struggle with feelings of unworthiness, believing that you're the type of person who will never experience deep, lasting love. However, when you're in a relationship with Dan Heng, you begin to question everything you've believed about yourself. After a quiet moment together, you're overcome with emotion and burst into tears, unable to fathom the love Dan Heng offers you. Dan Heng reassures you with unwavering support and affection, helping you realize that you are deserving of love and that he will always be there for you.

Tags: Dan Heng x Reader, Angst, Comfort, Emotional Overload, Slow Burn, Romance, Fluff, Self-Doubt, Love Confession.

Warnings: Minor Angst, Tearjerking, Mild Emotional Themes, Self-Worth Struggles.

A/N: I'm so sorry if you're going through something like this 😕, I wish I could help somehow but I hope this fic cheers you up, only if it's a little! Remember, you're not alone and are always loved! 🫂💖

The Astral Express hummed quietly in the background as you and Dan Heng sat near the observation deck, overlooking the vast, starry expanse of space. The air was calm, and the stars glittered like tiny fragments of light scattered across the infinite darkness. It was moments like these that felt like the world was at peace.

Dan Heng, as usual, was quiet. He often preferred the silence, the serenity, to the noise of social interaction. You admired his ability to sit in stillness without feeling the need to fill the air with words. It was something you wished you could do, something that had always felt just out of reach for you.

Growing up, you'd been the kind of person who had many acquaintances but no one who truly understood you. You were always the "friend to all, friend to none" type, moving through groups without ever forming the deeper, meaningful connections others seemed to build so effortlessly. People liked you, sure, but no one ever stayed. You had convinced yourself that maybe that was just the way it was—that you weren't meant for those kinds of connections, that perhaps, in the grand scheme of things, no one really wanted to get too close.

But with Dan Heng, things felt different. At first, you had kept your distance, wary of letting someone get too close to your heart. He, too, had his own walls, and you both seemed to dance around each other in cautious curiosity. Slowly, though, something deeper began to form. The walls that both of you had carefully built up began to erode, bit by bit. He had started showing you sides of himself, not the stoic, distant façade that most people saw, but the subtle warmth that lay beneath.

And you? You had opened up to him in ways that felt... natural. It felt like you didn't have to hide your feelings anymore, like he saw you—not just as another person in his life, but as someone he genuinely cared about.

But even now, despite all the time that had passed, you couldn't quite wrap your mind around the love he gave you. How could he, a man who carried so much weight on his shoulders, want to devote himself to someone like you?

You were lost in thought, staring out at the stars when you felt a soft touch on your shoulder. Dan Heng’s voice broke through the silence, calm and steady, as usual.

"Are you alright?"

You swallowed hard, forcing a smile onto your face, but it faltered almost immediately. Dan Heng’s gaze softened, his eyes searching yours, as if he could see right through the mask you tried so hard to wear. You had always been good at hiding your emotions, but with him, it was different. His presence, his care, it made everything feel so real.

And in that moment, it hit you—he actually loved you. Not just the version of you that you showed to the world, not the facade you had put up all these years. He loved you—you, the person you had convinced yourself was never meant to be loved. The one who was never worthy of that kind of devotion.

Tears welled up in your eyes before you could stop them, and before you knew it, they were streaming down your face. The sudden rush of emotion overwhelmed you, and you found yourself unable to hold back the sobs.

Dan Heng didn’t say a word. Instead, he immediately pulled you closer, his arms enveloping you in the quietest, most reassuring embrace. The action spoke louder than any words could. His touch was gentle, as if he knew how fragile you felt in that moment, as if he understood the storm raging inside of you.

“You don’t have to explain,” he whispered, his voice soothing, a soft rumble against your ear. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

The sincerity in his words broke something inside you, and you cried even harder, your heart aching with a mix of joy and disbelief. You had never felt so seen, so cherished.

“I don’t... I don’t deserve this,” you whispered through your tears, shaking your head as if to convince yourself of the words. “I’ve never had anyone care about me this much. Not like this... Not just for me.”

Dan Heng’s fingers gently cupped your chin, lifting your face so that your eyes met his. His gaze was unwavering, his expression soft yet firm.

“You deserve every ounce of it,” he said quietly, his thumb brushing away the last of your tears. “You’ve always deserved to be loved. And I—” He paused, his voice dipping with the weight of something unspoken, something deep. “I will always choose you, no matter what.”

You stared at him, your chest tightening as you tried to process the truth in his words. It was as if a veil had been lifted, and for the first time in your life, you understood what it meant to be truly, unconditionally loved.

The thought was overwhelming, humbling, and for the first time in years, you allowed yourself to believe it.

��I love you, too,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Dan Heng didn’t need to respond with grand gestures or flowery words. He simply kissed your forehead, his arms tightening around you in a silent promise that this, the love between you, was real and unbreakable.

And for once, you believed it, too.

[yoru-exe]

PHAINON ࣪ ִֶָ ⋆ . promise in vain

back then, you didn't understand why seers should maintain a neutral position, absolutely avoid from directly contributing to battle planning, are forbiddened to form strong connects with their associates and use their gift for personal gain. how you wished you've taken your master's teaching more seriously as you gazed into the near future of the war's outcome. your heart crumbled like amphoreus destined to fall to ruin, helpless to the sight of the man who you've been war counseled to laying lifeless on the ground, the light in his eyes extinguished.

you broke all the rules a seer should abide to at any circumstances. now, it's time to pay the price.

phainon walked across the strategic meeting room, inspecting the last of the details before the battle begun. you stood silently by his side, watching in longingness your silhouettes that seemed to dance on the wall. no harm could come to them, at least before the light goes out.

"now that we have all the support that we requested for, we can ensure the safety of the people should the enemy decided to break in from the west wall. if this happen, then i trust you to-".

"can you not go?".

the question spilled out of your mouth before you could stop it. the silence that followed was deafening.

"i'm afraid i don't understand what you're trying to say".

when you spoke again, your glassy eyes met his, tear threatened to spill, "can you not go to the war?".

the two of you rarely had any physical contact for as long as you've been associated with each other. perhaps it was just the unspoken rules you set; i help you, you help me, nothing else. but the instant he saw your heartbroken face, a sight he's not used to, his body moved instinctly to hold you in his arm, as he caressed your cheeks, wiping the fallen tears away, "you know i have to. but we've planned for this. i'll be fine".

"but what if you don't survive this?"

a hint of doubt crossed his face, but it's gone as fast as it came, replaced with a determined expression that you know he practised a million times to lie to even himself, "i'll make sure i will and come home to you".

if your thoughts and emotion weren't in such a messy state, you would have been more appreciative towards his confession. instead, you burst with the fear that you could no longer surpress, "but i saw you-".

you didn't get to finish your sentence as phainon pressed his lips on yours, sealing away whatever fate of his that he's aware you're not supposed to reveal. it didn't matter.

it didn't matter that he live or not.

what mattered is he made sure you know he meant it when he said he'll come home to you.

he continued to hold you firmly in his embrace after he pulled away. his expression was one of sincerity and calmness, like a hero ready to sacrifise himself knowing that he know it was a sacrifice that worth making.

"just wait for me, okay?"

⊹₊ author's note ₊⊹

nameless faces left me in SHAMBLE i need to cope, therefore this piece was born yea i think phainon is up for one heck of a nasty fate you know how greek myths love giving their heroes brutal death or whatever. if the story ended up on a completely different route than what i thought it would, please dont at me sob

[wonupatootie]

SVT Social Media AU Fic Recsᡣ𐭩 Part III

쉬는 날인데 넌 뭐해 생각 있음 나와 놀래~

Main Recs Masterlist

➣Part I // Part II // Part III

MINORS DNI!!!!!!!

Please like and reblog the fics to show the creators love and support~

Choi Seungcheol

“The Way Back” by @suhnshinehaos

Gn!reader || rapper x actor, angst, fluff, some humour || Status: Completed

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･fans reminisce on your relationship with seungcheol

Kwon Soonyoung

“Let Me Hear You Say” by @cherrycheolliesc

Fem!reader || YouTuber au, friends to enemies to lovers, comedy, angst, fluff || Status: Completed

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･after not seeing each other for years, Yn is ecstatic when she finds out all of her friends will finally be in the same place at one time. but unfortunately an unwanted situation turns a 12 year friendship into hateful relationship between yn and soonyoung. as things grow sour between them, their group gets tired of it and tries to fix things.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮

“The Roomie” by @zo-byeol

Fem!reader || roommates au, fluff || Status: Completed

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･kwon soonyoung and his friends need a roommate. (y/n) just got evicted. It sounds simple enough, but really, is anything ever simple?

Jeon Wonwoo

“To My Youth” by @viastro

Fem!reader || love alarm inspired au, slice of life, fluff, humour, angst || Status: Completed

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･in a world where everyone finds out who loves them within a 10 meter radius through the app love alarm, confessing your feelings without the use of the app is no longer considered normal. however, you refuse to download it in hopes that you’ll be able to fall in love without being dependent on love alarm.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮

“Back To You” by @seventeensmaus

Fem!reader || brother's best friend, fluff, humour, angst || Status: Completed

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･y/n and mingyu are twins. they are pretty much inseparable along with their childhood friend seungcheol. the three live together in an apartment. y/n has never met mingyu’s friends. that is until one day she finally does and sees someone from her past.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮

“Clueless” by @hanniedream

Coworker au, fluff || Status: Completed

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Wonwoo and you are were both oblivious idiots.

Lee Seokmin

“Sunshine and Sunflowers” by @shuastruck

Fem!reader || college au, sort of childhood friends to lovers, fluff, humour, angst || Status: Completed

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･when you entered college, the last thing you expected was to see your childhood friend lee seokmin in a sea of unknown faces. but just as you had expected, he didn't even remember you in the slightest. you didn't blame him; he had moved away in first grade and how many people remembered their best friend from kindergarten? but that didn't stop you from falling for his cute smile and sweet personality, so now you were stuck in love with a boy who barely knew your existence.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮

“We Have Chemistry” by @seungcy

Fem!reader || college au, slice of life, fluff || Status: Completed

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Being a biology major was difficult enough along with juggling an internship at a hospital. So how about adding some cute guys to your internship to spice it up a bit? Can you balance it out?

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮

“What Is Love?” by @cupidhaos

High school au, cupid au, past life au, fantasy, fluff, angst || Status: Completed

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･seokmin never expected to fall in love with a human - especially one that was supposed to be with somebody else

Chwe Hansol

“Two Minus One” by @twogyuu

Fem!reader || uni/recent college grads au, strangers to lovers, fluff, crack || Status: Completed

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･What’s a better way to find love in the modern day than through dating apps? Eight months after his breakup with his long-time girlfriend, Vernon is finally ready for the dating scene once more - or so he thought. Finding the new game of love more challenging than he remembered, he reaches out to you, Chan’s best friend and legendary wing woman, for help.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮

“Lie Again” by @escapewriter

Fem!reader || idol au, soulmate au, fluff, humour, slight angst || Status: Completed

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･a world in which various types of the soulmate system apply, you just so happen to have one that is completely stupid; being able to hear what your soulmate thinks of. however, when your soulmate hums a certain tune, you cant seem to get it out of your head.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮

“花樣年華 : HYYH : Golden Years” by @sw1mmingfoolz

Fem!reader || college au, eventual roommates, angst, fluff, slowburn || Status: Completed

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･when vernon and y/n realise their partners are cheating with each other, they strike up an unlikely friendship trying to figure out how it all began.

Unspecified Endgame

“Feverish Lips” by @sunlightwoo

College au, mafia au, fluff, angst || Status: Completed

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･you’d think that because it’s the first semester of the year, it’d be like the beginning of a roller coaster when its slowly becoming climatic and stressful. however, once you’re at the top of the point you have two choices: scream your lungs or quickly hang onto your life support. sadly in your case, you can either suck it up and get through it, or get involved in its loops in tangles with trouble that is bound to be met within every corner that you turn to.

⤷“Louder Than Bombs” (Part 2 of feverish lips)

College au, mafia au, fluff, angst || Status: Completed

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･the past semester of your senior year was hectic after the winter ball, its events making it harder for you to get back into your old routine. a rollercoaster that you finally managed to get off of for a blink of an eye, when suddenly you’re strapped on once more. you think to yourself that maybe you’ll make it to graduation in May; maybe alive. 

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮

“Here Comes The Sun” by @seokgyuu

Fem!reader || college au, slice of life, angst, comedy, fluff || Status: Completed

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･what's supposed to be just another year of fun and games at one of south korea's top universities turns into a rollercoaster of emotions for you. stuck between best friends and former crushes, you try to find love, friends and most importantly yourself.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮

“A Poem A Day” by @wooahaeproductions

Gn!reader || modern day cyrano!, fluff, romance, angst, comedy || Status: Completed

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･When Mingyu literally falls head over heels for someone, he has no idea what to do. What happens when he gets help (and a little meddling) from his friends? it definitely won’t be boring, that’s for sure.

Please let me know if the links have any problems~

[tinrange]

There are so many great points here but I wanna highlight the section about how youth in countries and areas without adequate sex education are recieving information and knowledge through these shows.

The top-bottom stereotyping, complete with massive body differences and certain 'looks', for both GL and BL pairs is a warping of actual roles that then forces queer youth into conservative positions while those that see queer bodies as objects of commodity get to fictionalize aspects of the community.

In LGBT relationships and dating its normal to discuss sexual preferences, its common to be vers sure but its just as common to be secure in your position.

When shows are marketed such that there can only ever be one dynamic ive seen queer youth assert that there are no 'bottoms' no 'tops' its just two people loving each other, and despite it coming from a place of defense it ends up driving them away from actually seeing all queerness can encompass.

In the case of sapphics there are actual identities tied around service and reception, both in and out of bed, that are then dismissed by large swathes of the media consuming pop. Because of the fact Stereotypes imposed onto people through corporations and heteronormativity. Those beliefs are strengthened in the echochambers that make up hime spheres and eventually change peoples approaches to their own identities.

All that to say that this ties back to the point of capitalism being a driving force behind each production and show we see being put to the screen. Its been extremely telling for me recently how deeply people enjoy censored shows, for example Highschool Return of Gangster, and also how people discuss actors who work on them vs on BL.

Highschool Return of Gangster is blatantly censored, its not gay and the subtext is doing a lot of the work for audience members who Want to see something while also leaving it vague enough that those 'uncomfortable' could just ignore it. Whats really interesting is how this shows censorship was defended amongst its creators, it HAD to be censored for them because BL is too niche and unfprofitable. Its a genre market that automatically creates a barrier for success. In this way Korea and Thailand are very different, but the audience reactions to people who work in other industries is the same.

"BL actors are there to create ships and sell you a lie and a delusion and breed fangirls who dont care about irl queerness." These kind of broad strokes flatten any nuance in discussions of what being seen supporting queer art actually Does to a public image, and the conflation of areas and peoples together allows for a complete dismissal of the genre. People who hate GL and BL will tell you everybody is in it for the money and the fans and nobody ever cares about anything past that, and that kind of thinking works so well for the companies.

If the audience is already willing to seperate queerness from Actually LGBT art and productions, only minimal steps need to be taken to make things 'palatable' and easy to consume by robbing the stories of possible authenticity.

These shows and genres are already viewed as lesser by a GP, perverse or flat tv that exists only to cater to a niche who doesnt actually belong to the community and it allows for everyone, even LGBT audiences, to praise those that 'elevate' the genre.

This all ties in with the general conservative backswings plaguing social media and discussions from the youth. Capitalism allows for these companies to continue creating narratives that discredit any enjoyment of swathes of queer media due to BLs "low-brow" nature, while simultaneously suppressing any shows that depict queer messiness. Its almost disappointing to see people continuously use the defense of "not everything has to be So Explicitly Gay" when that serves no one but capitalists who want to dip in everyones pockets. Impressionable audiences are manipulated and end up treating stories about their own communities as having to Prove Their Worth in the canon, and when a show like SMYM comes along it becomes very easy to dismiss criticisms because audiences have been groomed into believing LGBT art is more elevated the less it cares about the interiority and actual queerness of the characters.

Spare Me Your Mercy, Love in the Big City, and the Trap of Pursuing Mainstream Popularity for Queer Art

I read this excellent post by @waitmyturtles yesterday tackling the frustrating failures of Spare Me Your Mercy, a show that was one of my most anticipated of the year, but that ended up so lost in its own confusing blend of sauces that I didn't even finish it. I appreciated her clarity that despite the show receiving strong ratings and finding popularity with the mainstream domestic audience, that doesn't actually make it a success as a piece of narrative storytelling. And if anything, its popularity underlines why it was a failure as a queer narrative, in particular.

Because here's the thing about great queer art—it's almost never popular with mainstream audiences, especially in socially conservative countries. High quality, well-executed, honest and authentic queer art is more likely to be protested than celebrated in places where real queer people are not safe to live free lives. For an illustration of this, look no further than another highly anticipated queer drama of this year in Love in the Big City. Easily the queerest show to ever get made and aired on Korean television, it drew major protests before it even started, forcing the production to release it quickly in one go to ensure it would reach audiences. And why were those conservative groups so afraid of this little old drama? Because even just in its trailer and promotional materials, it was clear this was no sanitized, G-rated drama created to make gay people seem more palatable to the masses (unlike the film version with the same name, which not coincidentally has been much more warmly received by the Korean media establishment). This show was real, and raw, and QUEER in a way that terrified those bigots, because they know one of the most important ways the oppressed can advocate for themselves is by demonstrating their humanity through art. 

Which brings me back to turtles’ post, and the importance of separating the concerns of art and commerce when discussing the different ways media can succeed. This is something I had some good dialogue about with @biochemjess @pharawee @clairedaring @flowerbeasblog and turtles (and even more of you in the tags) when I was still watching and posting about Spare Me Your Mercy. I originally posted to unpack why the show was flopping narratively, which turned into a discussion of the fact that it was getting good ratings from the domestic audience despite this. And while I appreciated understanding how the show is landing with its priority audience, for me, it’s very important to keep a distinction between these two different kinds of success. Especially in discussions of queer art, and especially for a show whose creators explicitly said they were intentionally downplaying the queer romance part of the queer romance ( @benkaben) to avoid “distracting” from their other messaging goals. 

The important thing to keep in mind is that for queer stories, when they are popular with a mainstream audience it’s often because they are stripping any authenticity from the representation of queer people. Turtles addressed this well in her review of 2gether when she posited that part of the reason it was such a phenomenon in conservative Asian countries (aside from the timing of its release in the early days of the global pandemic), was because its presentation of queerness was mostly unrecognizable to real queer people, stripped of any true notion of queer sexuality or the realities of homophobia. Compare the reception of The Miracle of Teddy Bear—a show that absolutely refused to make its central queer character palatable for a mainstream audience, because the fact that he wasn’t palatable was the point—to that of Spare Me Your Mercy, a show whose creators chose to censor their own story. The ugly truth is that when we’re talking about queer dramas, the best and most vital shows are pretty much anathema to mainstream ratings success.

The impulse to pursue mainstream popularity and commercial success for queer art inevitably leads to watering down queer stories ( @twig-tea) to make them more light, comfortable and familiar to a majority heterosexual and socially conservative audience. And yes, of course, some degree of commercial success is necessary for queer art to get made in the first place. This is how the Thai BL market took off, by recognizing that there was an audience beyond queer people who were open to watching stories about boys falling in love, as long as it didn’t get too real. But there is a careful line to walk here, and it’s so important not to confuse popularity with artistic merit. Queer people won’t win liberation by self-censoring queer media to make it more palatable for mainstream audiences. We win when we make queer art so good and so honest that the mainstream is forced to acknowledge it. We win by challenging the mainstream perspective on queer people and how they should behave, not by catering to it. As @bengiyo said in a completely different discourse, the question is not whether the audience can love queer characters whose actual queerness is suppressed for their comfort. That kind of respectability politics is old hat and it never fucking gets us anywhere. The real question he posed is this: “Do you love us when we’re ugly, when we’re sick, when we’re old, when we’re being mean or catty?”

Which is why a show like Love in the Big City ultimately won by being so excellent, and so true, and so undeniable, that it broke through with audiences around the world and achieved some measure of recognition in spite of how very unpalatable it was to its domestic audience. Unlike Spare Me Your Mercy, this show did not get amazing domestic ratings, but its message was heard far beyond those who watched it on Korean television. And that is the point. Making authentic art that advances the struggle of queer people and making nominally queer art that can achieve mainstream popularity are completely different pursuits, and we must keep that in mind when we discuss whether and how these shows succeeded or failed. And while both must exist in a healthy media ecosystem, one will always be more vital for the survival of queer people than the other. 

[questions-about-blorbos]

the funny thing is that we first started this blog for fun just so that we could post about things we liked (whump polls and stuff). the popularity of this blog still surprised us. then all of a sudden people were in our inbox telling us what we can and can't post on our blog? "just stick to the polls and stop posting about squid game" no? sorry but who are you to tell other people what to do on their blog????

unless you were held at gunpoint to follow this blog, curate your own internet experience and unfollow us if you don't want to see the stuff we post on our blog.

we are not running this blog to please you. we're just here to have fun and talk about things we love on a blog we made solely to talk about things we love.

that being said, we also see so many of you who have been so kind and supportive. we may not be able to personally respond to every kind message we receive, but we see and read them all. and we wanted to let you guys know how much we appreciate each and every single one of you. thank you. there will still be lots of polls about blorbos for you.

[discountdemonwarehouse]

Remember Papa told us to take care of each other

I know that we Ghost fans love our Ministry building's IRL location, and have likely heard it survived the fires in California - maybe with some damage, but it survived. I have seen mentions of finding ways to donate to the repairs.

But I'd like to remind you that as a business, they're probably going to be okay. If they open donations later on after assessing the damage and insurance coverage etc., and you want to donate, great, do that.

Please consider donating to more immediate relief for those who are not and will not be as well off as they are or any other celebrities will be.

Multiple insurance companies canceled fire coverage in homeowner policies or stopped offering it to new clients. By multiple they mean 7 out of 12 providers. Why? To avoid paying out for repairs because they can't up the insurance premiums high enough due to state regulations (which probably protect the consumer over the corporation - but I could be wrong, I'm not in California.) The areas affected don't usually see these kinds of fires, and it's not the usual fire season for California either.

So where to donate? Find GoFundMe options if you want to give directly to someone, or here are a few options for agencies. GoFundMe has created a central hub for donating to fire relief in general, and has a list of vetted/confirmed fundraising efforts for people and small organizations.

ABC 7 News has compiled a list with descriptions of what each is doing, so I won't bother to copy and paste that here, just know it has everything from Red Cross to Humane Society, so you can donate to whatever tickles your fancy.

California Fire Foundation is supporting efforts.

If you have been impacted by the fires, a resource from ABC 7 News about how to get help, specifically food and care. Federal care is rolling out, so make sure you try to stay on top of that and how to get it. Be careful of sources telling you that you won't be eligible or that it's not coming etc.

If you are in the impacted areas, I hope you're safe and well, and can stay that way. If you have loved ones in the area, I hope they're safe and well, and stay that way. If you or loved ones haven't been able to stay safe and well, I'm so, so sorry.

[wosos-stuff]

The journal of secrets

Chapter 3: A Public Appearance Together

The sun hung low in the sky as Y/N walked through the entrance of the event, her heart beating a little faster than usual. It was a casual meet-and-greet with fans, something the Arsenal team did a few times a year to stay connected with the community. Normally, Y/N enjoyed these events—they were light, fun, and gave her a chance to talk to the people who supported them every matchday.

But today felt different. Today, she wasn’t just Y/N, another player on the team. Today, she was *Alessia Russo’s girlfriend*.

Her eyes darted to the side, where Alessia walked beside her, casually adjusting her jacket as if this was just another day. Her calm demeanor made Y/N feel even more out of place, her nerves heightened by the knowledge that they were about to spend the evening acting like a couple in front of everyone.

“Relax,” Alessia said, her voice low and soothing. She must have noticed Y/N’s nervous energy because she gave her a small nudge with her elbow. “It’s just like we practiced.”

Y/N forced a smile, nodding. “Yeah, I know. I’m fine.”

But she wasn’t fine. Her heart raced with every step they took closer to the crowd of people waiting for them, phones out, eager to snap pictures and ask questions. This was part of the deal. They had to make it look real, and that meant staying close, holding hands, and—most importantly—acting like they were more than just teammates.

As they reached the first group of fans, Alessia slid her hand into Y/N’s, the gesture so smooth and natural that it made Y/N’s breath catch in her throat. She hoped the flutter in her chest didn’t show on her face. They exchanged smiles with the fans, signing jerseys and posing for photos, all while Alessia kept her hand firmly in Y/N’s.

Every now and then, Y/N would glance at Alessia out of the corner of her eye, trying to read her expression. Alessia was all smiles and charm, laughing easily with the fans, her presence warm and inviting. She was so good at this—so good at making it look effortless. But Y/N couldn’t shake the feeling that it was all too real, that the way Alessia held her hand wasn’t just part of an act.

It didn’t help that every time someone mentioned their “relationship,” Y/N’s heart did a little flip. The fans loved it—they cooed over how “cute” they were together, some even asking how long they’d been dating. Alessia would always answer with a playful smile, keeping it vague but believable.

“We’ve been keeping it low-key for a while,” Alessia said with a wink when one fan asked about how they got together. Y/N tried not to blush, forcing herself to smile along with the charade.

As the evening went on, the event started to wind down, but Y/N’s nerves never quite settled. She kept waiting for Alessia to let go of her hand, to step back, to put some distance between them. But she didn’t. Not once. And every time Y/N felt the warmth of Alessia’s fingers wrapped around hers, it was harder to remind herself that this was all just pretend.

---

After the meet-and-greet, the team gathered in the back of the venue, relaxing and catching up before heading home for the night. The mood was light—everyone laughing, joking, and teasing each other about the evening. Y/N stood off to the side, watching as Alessia chatted with a few of the girls, including Katie McCabe and Beth Mead.

She was still riding the wave of nerves from earlier, her mind replaying every touch, every glance, every smile Alessia had given her in front of the fans. It had all felt so real, and yet it wasn’t. She knew it wasn’t. But the more time she spent around Alessia, the harder it was to keep her emotions in check.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard Katie’s voice, loud and teasing, as usual.

“So, Alessia,” Katie said with a playful grin, “now that you’re all ‘boo’d up,’ does this mean you’re off the market for good? I mean, I could always use a gorgeous date for a night out.”

The comment was harmless, just Katie being Katie, but Y/N felt a strange twist in her stomach. It wasn’t like Katie was serious, but something about the way she said it—the way Alessia laughed in response—made Y/N’s chest tighten.

Alessia waved her off, still grinning. “Sorry, McCabe. I’m a one-woman show now. You’ll have to find someone else.”

Katie laughed, pretending to look disappointed. “Ah, well. Guess my chances are shot, huh?”

Y/N should have laughed along with the rest of them, should have shrugged it off like she always did. But instead, she found herself glancing at the floor, trying to shake off the uncomfortable feeling curling in her chest. It wasn’t real. Alessia wasn’t hers. But for some reason, hearing Katie joke about it like that made Y/N’s heart sink.

Before she could dwell on it for too long, Alessia appeared at her side, her usual playful smile in place. “Hey, you ready to head out?”

Y/N blinked, nodding quickly. “Yeah, let’s go.”

As they walked out together, Y/N couldn’t help but wonder if Alessia had noticed the flicker of jealousy that had passed through her. She hoped not. This was already complicated enough.

---

By the time they made it back to Alessia’s flat, Y/N’s nerves had settled slightly, though the nagging feeling from earlier still lingered in the back of her mind. Alessia was all casual ease, tossing her jacket onto the couch and grabbing a couple of beers from the fridge.

“You want one?” Alessia asked, holding up a bottle.

Y/N hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

She took the beer and sat down on the couch, feeling a little out of place. This was the first time she had been to Alessia’s place since they started this whole fake relationship thing. It felt weird, sitting here like this—so normal, yet so loaded with unspoken emotions.

Alessia plopped down beside her, kicking her feet up on the coffee table as she took a sip from her bottle. “So,” she said, glancing over at Y/N, “I’d say we did pretty well today.”

Y/N smiled, nodding. “Yeah, I think we sold it.”

“Definitely,” Alessia agreed, her eyes twinkling with that familiar mischief. “People were eating it up.”

Y/N laughed softly, taking a sip of her beer. “Yeah… they were.”

But as the conversation lulled, a comfortable silence settled between them, and Y/N found herself glancing around Alessia’s flat, taking in the small details. There were framed photos on the wall—pictures of Alessia with her family, her friends, and even a few of

 her younger self in football kits from her early days in the sport. It was a glimpse into Alessia’s life, a side of her that Y/N hadn’t really seen before.

After a few minutes, Alessia sighed, leaning back against the couch. “You know, it’s weird.”

Y/N looked over at her, curious. “What is?”

“This whole thing,” Alessia said, waving her hand around vaguely. “The fame, the attention, the pressure. Sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe, you know? Like… everyone expects me to be this perfect version of myself all the time.”

Y/N’s heart clenched at the vulnerability in Alessia’s voice. It was rare for her to hear Alessia talk like this—open, raw, and honest. Usually, Alessia was all confidence and charm, always putting on a brave face. But here, in the quiet of her flat, she seemed… different. More real.

“I get that,” Y/N said softly, turning to face her. “It’s a lot to carry.”

Alessia nodded, staring down at the beer bottle in her hands. “Yeah, and sometimes… sometimes I just wish I could turn it all off, you know? Just be Alessia. Not ‘Alessia Russo, the footballer,’ or ‘Alessia Russo, the media darling.’ Just… me.”

Y/N didn’t know what to say. She had always seen Alessia as this untouchable figure, someone who had it all together. But now, hearing her talk like this, Y/N realized that Alessia had her own struggles, her own fears. It made her feel even closer to her—made her want to be there for her, to be the person Alessia could rely on.

But that wasn’t what this was. This wasn’t real.

“You can be that person,” Y/N said quietly. “With me. You don’t have to pretend.”

Alessia looked at her, surprised, but there was something warm in her eyes. Something that made Y/N’s heart skip a beat.

“Thanks,” Alessia said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “I… I appreciate that.”

For a moment, they just sat there, the silence between them filled with unspoken words. And in that moment, Y/N forgot about everything—forgot that this was all supposed to be pretend, forgot that Alessia wasn’t really hers. All she knew was that right now, sitting here with Alessia, everything felt real.

---

Later that night, as Y/N lay in her own bed, staring up at the ceiling, her mind was a whirlwind of emotions. The more time she spent with Alessia, the harder it was to keep her feelings in check. She had promised herself that she wouldn’t let this fake relationship get to her—that she wouldn’t fall for Alessia. But it was too late for that.

She was already falling. Hard.

The problem was, she didn’t know if Alessia felt the same. She couldn’t tell if the moments they shared were real, or if they were just part of the act. Alessia was so good at pretending—so good at making it look real. But was it real? Or was Y/N just fooling herself?

She needed to talk to someone. Someone who wasn’t Alessia.

The next day, Y/N found herself sitting with Leah Williamson after training, her heart heavy with the weight of her unspoken emotions. Leah had always been a good friend, someone Y/N could trust. But even so, she wasn’t sure how much she could say without revealing too much.

“You seem a bit off,” Leah said, glancing over at her with concern. “Everything okay?”

Y/N hesitated, then nodded slowly. “Yeah, just… dealing with some stuff.”

Leah raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. “What kind of stuff?”

Y/N sighed, running a hand through her hair. “It’s… complicated.”

Leah didn’t press her for more, but she gave her a knowing look. “Listen, if you need to talk, I’m here. Just… be honest with yourself, okay? Don’t get stuck in something that’s going to mess you up.”

Y/N nodded, appreciating the advice, even if she couldn’t explain the whole situation. She had to be honest with herself—but that was the hardest part. How could she be honest when she didn’t even know what was real anymore?

---

The tension between Y/N and Alessia grew in the days that followed. It wasn’t obvious—nothing anyone else would notice—but Y/N could feel it. She was pulling back, trying to protect herself from the growing feelings that threatened to overwhelm her. And Alessia… Alessia seemed to notice.

One evening, after a particularly quiet training session, Alessia caught up with Y/N as they walked off the pitch.

“Hey,” she said, her voice softer than usual. “You’ve been kind of distant lately. Everything okay?”

Y/N’s heart raced at the question. She hadn’t expected Alessia to bring it up, and now that she had, Y/N didn’t know what to say.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Y/N replied, her voice a little too quick, a little too defensive.

Alessia frowned, clearly not buying it. “You sure? You don’t seem like yourself.”

Y/N swallowed hard, trying to keep her emotions in check. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t tell Alessia the truth—not when she didn’t even know what the truth was.

“I’m fine,” she repeated, avoiding Alessia’s gaze. “Really.”

Alessia stared at her for a long moment, as if she wanted to say something more, but in the end, she just nodded. “Okay. But if something’s going on… you can talk to me, you know?”

Y/N nodded, her throat tight with unspoken words. She wanted to talk to Alessia, wanted to tell her everything—how confused she was, how scared she was of falling for her. But she couldn’t. Not yet.

“Thanks,” Y/N said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

And with that, they parted ways, the tension between them still unresolved.

[perkypeony]

𝕋𝔸ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝔻 𝕀ℕ 𝕋ℍℝ𝔼𝔸𝔻𝕊

Model Nanami Kento x fashion designer reader

You were flicking through the pages of your sketchbook, your head spinning as you tried to decide which design would be best for your new streetwear collection. You thought you’d ask your friend's opinion later, but for now, you were going to get ready and head to the newly opened branch of your daily wear boutique.

Despite studying fashion design during your time at the creative arts academy and being able to create meticulous designs, you opted to build your own brand of daily wear that’s stylish yet affordable. Your business started small, but with the support of your friends—who happened to be the famous actor Gojo Satoru and the rising singer Geto Suguru—more people came to know your brand. Just last week, you opened the third branch of your boutique, and you were already planning to open the fourth branch overseas in a few years.

You got out of your midnight black Mini Cooper and saw a long line outside the boutique. It was probably too crowded inside, so the staff had asked the customers to queue outside. You made a mental note to install some sort of shade so the customers wouldn’t have to wait in the sun. The staff recognized you immediately and greeted you, asking if there was anything they could help with. You told them you were just doing a little observation.

You smiled as you overheard a customer praising the high quality of the material despite the affordable price. As you walked around, talking with some customers for feedback, you spotted a blonde man wearing a black mask—one you’d recognize anywhere. It was the hot model, Nanami Kento. He became famous after modeling for big brands and even appeared on the front covers of internationally known magazines. And to add to that, he was your crush back in the creative arts academy and still is today. That’s why you would remember him forever.

You admired his calmness and respectfulness. He always maintained a very professional work ethic. Unfortunately, you and he had never been close, only talking a few times. The only person you still kept in touch with was Nanami’s best friend, Haibara. He tried to set you up with Nanami, but you were always too shy and quickly declined his crazy plans.

You were surprised to see him in your boutique. Did that mean he wore your creations? Not gonna lie, sometimes you imagined him modeling your designs, but you had never hired a famous model before. After all, you had two famous friends willing to post pictures of themselves wearing your brand on social media. Without those two idiots, you wouldn’t have been successful today.

You gathered all your courage to say hi to him, hoping he would remember you. “Hi, Nanami. Uh... what are you looking for?”

“A hoodie,” he replied, then looked up to meet your eyes. “Y/N? I never thought I’d meet the designer herself.”

So, he did remember you. You could feel your stomach do silly things. It was probably the butterflies. “I’m just doing a quick observation. Is this your first time at my boutique?”

“I’ve bought a few pairs of pants and shirts from your boutique before. I really like them. And since this new branch is closer to my condo, I thought I’d give it a visit.”

“Thanks for your support. I really appreciate it.”

“Of course,” he said with a warm smile. “We haven’t seen each other in quite a few years. Do you have any plans tonight? Maybe we could catch up over dinner?”

A dinner? With your crush? That surely sounded like a dream come true!

“I would love to go to dinner with you tonight,” you answered, trying not to sound too giddy.

“Perfect. Text me your address, and I’ll pick you up at 8.”

“Alright. I have to go check on the... um... cashier. See you tonight.”

Nanami nodded and smiled as he watched you leave. He couldn’t wait to tell Haibara that he had finally asked you out for dinner.

[samuraionyourmom]

I feel like a lot of people misunderstand the relationship between Verlaine and Chuuya. There's a lot of argument over whether they're biologically brothers or not. That's not the point. The point is how they came into the world and their unnatural birth. Or, at least, how Verlaine perceives it. He sees both him and Chuuya as artificial beings that will never be human no matter how hard they may try, so they may as well stop trying to fit in with these disgusting humans and just find solace in each other. He calls Chuuya his brother because he feels like he's the only one who can truly understand what he's going through. Their "brothership" stems from their shared existence as artificial beings. This is why Chuuya rejects it so violently at first. He doesn't want to be anything like the man who slaughtered his friends. He wants to be human.

Then, throughout the book, Chuuya comes to accept that however he came into this world, naturally or otherwise, he chooses to be human, and that's what it's important. His actions are what make him human. Verlaine learns this, too, but it's already far too late. He, too, had the chance to be human, but he was too focused on the possibility of being inhuman instead of actually trying to be a good person or to accept the care and support of his friend, Rimbaud, and now, he's gone. That is the tragedy of his story. He always had the opportunity to be human, but he threw it away for the sake of anger and hatred.

Only when they have both learned this lesson that Chuuya accepts Verlaine as his brother. Not because they're biologically related or anything, but because they do have this shared experience with one another, and he's here for him. Not because he forgives him for what he did. But because he has an opportunity to be better.

I love stormbringer. It's so good. Anyone reading this who hasn't read it, READ IT!! IF YOU LIKE CHUUYA AT ALL, YOU NEED TO READ THIS BOOK! IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO HIS CHARACTER!

[aishangotome]

Azel Radwan: Romantic Ending Epilogue

Chapter 25

Thank you @passthechloroform for providing the script for this chapter!

We reunited in Acroite and said "goodbye" once more, each of us needing to fulfill our duties.

But this wasn't a "goodbye" forever, so there were no tears. Though tinged with loneliness, we began to move forward, this time with determination.

The days of pausing and hanging my head were over.

Some time passed after that—

Azel: This is completely useless. Start over.

Kamal: What?! How many times do you think I've rewritten this?!

Azel: It's your fault for only bringing me bills full of holes.

Azel: Even if it's outside your area of expertise, think from multiple angles. As it stands, there will inevitably be those who profit and those who suffer losses.

Kamal: Ugh... Azel, you used to draft bills so easily. I guess that really was amazing.

Enis: Of course it was. If you think we can do it just like him, you're in for a rude awakening.

Enis: Let's take it one step at a time. Kamal has only recently returned to public service.

Kamal: Sigh... I understand why people want to rely on divination.

Azel: I'll still give you an oracle if you pay me. At a special price.

Kamal: No thanks. Your divination fees are so exorbitant, I'd go bankrupt in an instant.

Enis: By the way, Kamal, how long do you intend to continue with this "older sister" act?

Enis: Now that the exile order has been lifted, there's no need to disguise yourself anymore, is there?

Kamal: I like it. Because, you know, I'm really beautiful, right?

Azel/Enis: ......That's true... / ......You are.

Kamal: Oh my, thank you! I'm so happy to have such honest little brothers.

Azel: Putting aside such trivial matters, how long do you intend to stay hidden?

(He noticed after all.)

I shift my body, which had been hiding behind a pillar, waiting for their conversation to end.

I meet eyes not only with Azel, but with Kamal and Enis as well.

Kamal: Oh, it's that time already. Miss Emma, long time no see.

Emma: It's been a while. I'm sorry to interrupt your conversation.

Azel: These two are the ones interrupting.

Kamal: Did you hear that, Enis? That misogynistic Azel is bragging so openly about his love life.

Enis: Was he bragging?

Kamal: Because he's saying, "I want to spend time with you alone as soon as possible. I don't want to be disturbed by anyone!"

Enis: That's true.

Azel: No, I'm just fed up with the sheer number of consultations you two have about official duties.

Azel: Listen, I'm already dead. Don't keep relying on a dead god.

Kamal: I know, but you're so competent, Azel. It's hard for us mere mortals to fill your shoes.

Azel: That being said, don't come back again.

Kamal: Could you at least show a little remorse?

My two older brothers don't seem to intend to stay long and start walking towards the exit.

But when they pass me, they stop dead in their tracks.

Enis: Miss Emma, have you thought about that matter?

Emma: Yes. I've discussed with the owner about opening a bookstore in Tanzanite and received permission.

(That's why I came to Tanzanite this time.)

The first thing people did when they started walking in a world without God was to seek knowledge.

The era when divination provided answers without the need for thought was over, and people were desperately flocking to the few bookstores that remained.

To improve the situation, His Majesty the King, Enis, has begun inviting book merchants to settle in the country.

This time, the owner was chosen and has been approached with an offer to open a bookstore with the support of the nation.

(But the owner is a merchant who wants to travel, so he wasn't keen on opening a Tanzanite branch.)

(...Until I raised my hand.)

Emma: I'd like to discuss various conditions...

Enis: Let's make time right now. Let's go together—

Azel: I'll handle the contract procedures. Enis, you have other things to do, don't you?

Azel, who had somehow appeared behind me, places his hands on my shoulders.

I sense an unspoken pressure from him saying, "Don't go with him."

Enis: Kamal, not again.

Kamal: He's saying, "Don't take my Emma away," right? Oh my!

Azel: Yes, you don't need my help anymore, then. That's a relief. Never come to the temple again.

Kamal: I'm sorry. But you should be a little more honest with yourself.

Kamal: No girl would feel bad about being loved.

Azel: ...>:(

Kamal: See you later then. Miss Emma, let's have a tea party together another day.

Enis: I'll take my leave as well. Miss Emma, I appreciate you considering this proposal.

Perhaps sensing Azel's pressure, this time they disappear beyond the sand clouds without stopping.

(It suddenly became quiet.)

Azel: ...What's with that big luggage?

Perhaps feeling awkward as well, Azel hurriedly breaks the silence by pointing at the luggage I had left by the pillar.

Emma: Actually, I'm having trouble finding a place to live.

Emma: I've been invited to the castle, but it's not very relaxing, so would it be alright if I imposed on you here again?

Azel: I'm in debt to you anyway. I can't disobey you, can I?

Emma: Of course, if you don't like it, I can rent a place in town—

Azel: You can stay here.

With a swift motion, he picks up my luggage, and Azel strides off into the depths of the building.

But after taking a few steps, he realizes I'm not following and turns around.

(Does this mean I can live here?)

(Before, he never even bothered to check on me like this.)

I desperately try to hide my surprise and run after him, not wanting Azel to get sulky.

Emma: Thank you very much. But I feel bad taking over part of your room like before...

Emma: I was thinking of cleaning one of the rooms and using it.

Azel: It would take years. Give up on that.

Emma: I have plenty of time.

Azel: The ceiling might collapse in places that haven't been repaired, you know?

Emma: That's a little scary... but actually, I found a good spot when I was exploring the temple before.

Azel: That place is sealed off now.

Emma: ...I haven't even said which place it is yet, have I?

Azel: A god knows these things.

Emma: You said yourself before that gods are ordinary people, Prince Azel.

Azel: I don't recall saying that.

Emma: ...Could it be that...

Azel: No.

Emma: You don't want to be apart from me for even a moment—

Azel: That's why I said no!

Emma: Eek...!

The feeling of having my cheeks pulled after so long made me a little happy.

Azel: ...Well, if you insist, I'll make you a room.

Azel: But you can only use that room from morning till evening.

Emma: Why is there a restriction?

Azel: The desert nights are cold.

Emma: I know that.

Azel: ...That's why.

(...?)

Azel, who had been walking with me, suddenly starts walking ahead, leaving me behind.

Emma: Wait!

Azel: Why should I wait?

(He said I can't use the room at night because it's cold, which means...)

Emma: Is this what you wanted to say?

I reach out to Azel and hug him tightly from behind.

(I already know this warmth.)

(Because I've experienced it so many times.)

Emma: That's right, you might be just right as a substitute for a blanket at night.

Azel: ...That's not it, but if that's what you want to think, then interpret it however you like.

Emma: You really aren't honest, are you?

Azel: I'm always honest.

Emma: But I also like that part of you that absolutely refuses to be honest.

Azel: ...

Azel turns around and looks down at me.

I feel like his lips moved as if he wanted to say something, but no words come out.

(...What was he about to say?)

-

After enjoying a meal together for the first time in a while, we finished our nighttime preparations, and the evening hours arrived.

With the bookstore opening discussions concluded, I took out the alcohol I had bought in town from my bag.

Emma: Actually, I brought some alcohol as a souvenir.

Azel: What are you scheming?

Emma: ...You suspect my goodwill is a scheme? How cruel.

Azel: Am I wrong?

(As expected of Azel...)

Of course, choosing alcohol as a souvenir wasn't a whim.

Emma: Since we'll be living together again, I thought I'd like to have a heart-to-heart talk with you first.

Emma: You're not very honest, so I thought we could have a real talk with the help of alcohol.

Azel: Why should I go along with something like that?

Emma: ...Because I'm uneasy.

Emma: You're easy to understand, but you never express yourself in words.

Emma: I want to make sure I'm not doing anything you dislike without realizing it.

(Precisely because he's Azel, who has been troubled by the violence of love, I want to be sure.)

(I want to make sure that barging into the temple wasn't a nuisance, that my presence isn't a burden...)

Emma: I'll go make something to drink—

As I try to move away, he grabs my hand.

Azel: ...What about you?

Emma: Me?

Azel: There are still things I don't understand about you.

Azel: ...I'm afraid that before I know it, I'll become the perpetrator...

Azel: ...

Azel: No, forget it.

Azel lets go of my hand and takes out alcohol cups from a nearby shelf.

(...I thought he wouldn't honestly admit his love because he was embarrassed.)

(But in reality, precisely because he's been tormented by love, he's afraid to acknowledge it.)

(He's afraid that he might be unconsciously inflicting violence on me too...)

(Even though he knows it's different, maybe there are wounds that haven't healed.)

Emma: Prince Azel... Do you remember what I said when you forced that debt on me?

Azel: That I'm an evil god?

Emma: Not that...

*flashback*

Emma: Even if I'm in debt, I'll say no to things I don't like.

Emma: Don't think I'll just obey everything you say.

*flashback over*

Azel: —Ah, you did say that, didn't you?

Emma: That's the kind of person I am.

Emma: I'll say no to things I don't like. Of course, I'll also say yes to things I do like.

Emma: I don't intend to hold back, even if you're a former god.

Emma: That's why... I'd be happy if you loved me a lot.

Emma: Like Kamal said, no one feels bad about being loved.

Azel: ...

Azel turns his back to me and silently pours the alcohol into the cups.

Then, after taking a sip, he returns to my side.

Emma: Of course, you can also say no to things you don't like, Prince Azel—Whoa?!

Suddenly, he scoops me up and throws me onto the bed.

Before I can sit up, Azel leans over me and lightly pecks my lips.

Azel: How is this?

Emma: Uh...

Azel: You'll say no to things you don't like, right?

He gently nibbles at my neck, and my body heats up.

It's not an unpleasant heat; I tremble at the unfamiliar sensation, but I'm not afraid.

Emma: ...I don't... dislike it...

Azel: Very well.

(Come to think of it... Doesn't Azel become a kiss-demon when he's drunk...?)

By the time I remembered this, it was already too late. He continued to kiss my neck and slowly went down my collarbone, then trailed onto my chest over the negligee.

Emma: Nn... Um...

Azel: Ah... kisses and hugs were part of the payment terms, weren't they?

Emma: ...If I request them, will you provide them?

Azel: I'm already broke, burdened with a debt I can't repay even in a lifetime.

Azel: It doesn't matter if it increases a little more now.

Emma: Ah...

When he took my nipple into his mouth, I couldn't possibly remain calm.

A strange sensation welled up inside me, and I instinctively turned over to hide my breasts.

Azel: Why are you running away? I just want to kiss you...

Emma: It's embarrassing... Ah... Nn...

He pulls down my negligee halfway, and his lips touch my exposed back.

He kisses me greedily, over and over again, and the chill of the desert night fades away.

Emma: Nn... I thought... you disliked this sort of thing...

Azel: I only dislike women driven mad by aphrodisiacs.

Azel, transformed into a kiss-demon, places a kiss behind my ear and whispers.

Azel: This is what normal lovers do, right?

(...!)

(He finally acknowledged that we're lovers.)

(...The power of alcohol is truly great.)

His large hand caresses my leg, and—

Emma: W-wait, I'll drink some alcohol too!

Azel: Huh?

Emma: I don't dislike it, but... at this rate, I feel like I'm going to go crazy with embarrassment...!

Taking advantage of an opening, I slip out of Azel's arms and grab the alcohol cup that was on the table.

Azel: Ah...

Since there was still some left in it, I drank it all in one gulp. The sweet and refreshing liquid slid smoothly down my throat.

(Delicious...)

(...Huh?)

Emma: This doesn't seem to be the alcohol I brought...

Azel: ...

Emma: ...! There are two bottles.

The bottle cleverly hidden under the table was my souvenir, and the bottle in front of me, upon closer inspection, was just a normal drink made with fruit from the desert country.

Emma: When did you switch them...?

Azel: ....................

Emma: ...So you're not... drunk...?

Azel: ...Is that bad?

Azel turns away from me.

Azel: I'm not so much of a scumbag that I would take advantage of you while drunk.

Azel: ...Well, I think I did make a move on you before, but that was an accident.

Emma: ……

Emma: Hehe…..

Azel: If you have the composure to laugh, then I won't hold back either.

He pulls me close, and with a swift motion, my already slipping negligee falls to the floor. A scream almost escapes my lips, but it's muffled by a kiss.

Emma: Ah...Nn...

This kiss, which held a hint of hiding his embarrassment, is deeper and more insistent than before.

As I desperately tried to resist him, his large hand comes up and wraps around my breasts, fingers squeezing the tip.

Unable to resist the surging waves of sensation, I felt a strange discomfort in my lower abdomen and tightly gripped Azel's clothes.

Azel: What's wrong?

Emma: Don't say "what's wrong"...

Emma: My body... feels strange...

Azel: It feels strange, but you don't dislike it, right?

(...Well...)

His hand slips between my legs, teasing a sensitive spot, and my hips buck in response.

I desperately bite back the moans that threaten to escape, but he might have heard them anyway.

Emma: Ah... Please don't hate me even if I start acting strange, okay?

Azel: ...

Azel: Are you stupid?

Emma: Ah...

His fingers push into uncharted territory, making squelching sounds.

Azel: —...You'd be cute no matter what you do.

Along with the rising pleasure, a small voice reaches my ears...

(Real love makes me this happy, huh?)

.

.

.

Romantic Ending Letter

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[thoughtfulchaos773]

Sorry my English isn’t great but Can we have more thoughts on Syd & Carm and sex? How do you think they would both go about interacting with it and each other if we ever got a scene of them like that? (Which I don’t think we will but one can hope 😭)

Don't apologize! Fun fact- I used to write E fanfiction, but nothing for sydcarmy (yet maybe in the future)

But if we're talking cannon: it would happen in the daylight similar to the table scene. Morning after and just the beginning. There wouldn't be anxiousness from Carmy in the morning or showing Carmy's mind somewhere else. He's very present with Sydney and always aware of where she's at. She takes space in his head anyway - so sex would be all about her pleasure and strong eye contact.

You know what would be great for me? They don't even have to show explicity sex, show me the morning after Sydney has spent the night and Carmy is ready to go down on her- she's the first thing on his mind in the morning and she's in bed- with him, post sex? Yeah, he's not wasting a moment.

After all, it’s FX—it's an MA-rated show, so we already expect explicit love scenes and how they will be portrayed. Give us a good surprise! They've already shown explicit positions of certain characters, so why not illustrate how things are different this time?

Here are my thoughts on Sydney and Carmy: it's a popular belief that Sydney is the dominant one, I think Carmy actually holds a more dominant role in bed, at least at first. There’s a suggestion that in the end, Sydney will always have emotional power over him; she has his heart in her hands and ultimately calls the shots when it comes to the core of their relationship.

I think based on the show- Sydney has a praise kink, but it seems to be specific to Carmy. She pokes fun at Marcus in the show when he gives her praise. But Carmy gives her praise? She melts. So imagine Carmy giving her so much praise during sex?

Their relationship shows how Carmy pulls vulnerability out of her when he reads her. Being a dominant partner is a skill; it helps the more submissive partner switch off their racing thoughts and open up. For the submissive partner to really let go, they’ve got to trust that their dom will catch them if they fall. If the dom doesn’t support them, that’s when problems come up.

Sydney and Carmy play these roles on the show, dont they? and it's a challenge. Carmy is working on being someone Sydney can rely on to catch her when she falls, and for Sydney, she knows how scary it is to completely give in. When Carmy is confident enough, he reassures her by saying things like, “I won’t let you” showing that he’s up for the challenge and ready to give her what she needs. He's ready to care for her because she cares for so many people- so wouldn't it be nice for her for someone to take care of her? To make her happy and satisfied?

For Carmy, stepping into the dom role is great practice. He wasn't really feeling it when Claire was leading the chase; she lead the getting his number, in their private scene notice she's the one leading the questions to get to know him more, she's the one in the morning telling him "everything is fine" the morning after- Claire is the one on top of him while Carmy sits up at night.

Carmy wants to build enough confidence to take charge himself with Sydney, and after she gives over, he looks to Sydney for a bit of reassurance, asking her if she liked what happened. He’ll gently ask her to share what she enjoys and what doesn’t work for her - Carmy is the one who leads with questions.

Even if Carmy is the dominant one, Sydney won't make it easy for him. She doesn't make it easy for him anyway, and he deserves to be questioned and challenged as she does in canon.