#it's just felt really weird
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So: good news - I'm finally proofing a chapter to share! Obviously the bad new is that it's taken me forever to actually finish it... Y'all remember when I was able to post every week? Sometimes a couple times a week? Man, those were good times...
In truth though, this has been a... challenging month. We finally got our house listed, and, not a week later, someone broke into it and robbed us. The same day, my car decided to die (literally a week after we had maintenance done on it), so I couldn't even get there in time to talk to the police. And then, on the way to the dealership, some guy decided I needed more stress and started screaming at me and punched my window before storming off. It was a lot.
I'm also still struggling with a personal thing that happened between me and someone I met on here that I considered a close friend. I hate to admit it, but it's really left me pretty gun-shy with online friends, which is really shitty and I'm really sorry and it's totally not fair to you guys...
I'm really glad there's still such a big community on here to share with and commiserate over my way too violent hyper-fixation of tasty clones, and I'm going to try to get over that to interact more often with you all
#staycalm talks#I'm really sorry I haven't been active#it's just felt really weird#and I've been second-guessing all of my comments into oblivion#I was trying to just ignore it and move on#but that's just resulted in me not interacting period#and then came the Saturday from hell#at least my window didn't break#but my fucking baby was in back seat#nearly went full murder-mode#that all happened in a 2 hour period#wtf man
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Birds of a Feather previous / next
#my art#feralnette au#birds of a feather#long tags#sorry I went apeshit in the tags#LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW#I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO#its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical#and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread#as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational#in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away#and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do#shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again#legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it#but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings#alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird#she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her#knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself#between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot#and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo#essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that#busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way#to show her she's self sabotaging#cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD
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see?
everything’s fine.
(greyscale + extras below!!)
so! this was SUPPOSED to be a bonnie drawing. but for some reason i just Can’t draw bonnie to save my life today. and i needed to draw something simple to make myself less frustrated!! and by simple i mean this took me almost 3 hours and i had to redraw it because i didn’t like how the lineart turned out the first time!! oops!! at least it turned out cute🩶. and i got to play around with my textured brush!
also as a bonus, my terrible first attempt + the sketch!! that i apparently accidentally deleted at some point? so this is a screenshot from the timelapse. i dont know what happened to it…

#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#ahhhhhhh ik people might say that the first attempt wasn’t that bad but hhhh i Don’t Like That Thang!!!#i tried to force myself back into my old art process and it felt Awkward and Weird#i’m glad i decided to start over!!!#<- also this is like. lighthearted. idk if i need to clarify but just in cass#anyways! ough i had a lot of fun redrawing the bg here#especially the lights(?)#really fun and easy to draw!!! i like em. they’re Soothing
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shows up a day early with a nobara birthday tribute
#my art#timelapse#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#nobara kugisaki#kugisaki nobara#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#anyway i was alr finished this by the time i actually thought 2 double check the date#come 2 find her birthday is tomorrow.......#oh well it's the 7th somewhere#i cant believe i still had more flowers in me after 3 days of being stuck in hydrangea purgatory#tho tbf roses were one of those things that i fixated on n would doodle over and over in notebook margins n such#so their petal shape n distribution is pretty muscle memory by now#roses eyes and a secret third thing im forgetting were my go-to doodle subjects#theyre just real swirly and bumpy in weird places and tht makes the shape so fun 2 push n play with#whereas hydrangeas r just . roundish pointy with hints of 4petals scattered amid a circle#anyway enough traumadumping abt hydrangeas this is Her Day >:(#also felt good 2 get back to drawing smth that Didnt take 3 days straight#oh WINGS that was the secret third thing i got really into trying 2 draw correct bird wings
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so uhhhhhhhh. not to be cryptic and bitchy on main but congratulations to everyone in my messages for like 5 months on being right i guess
#ramble#ughhhhhhhhhhhh ok so#i will delete this later bc idk if this person has tumblr and i genuinely mean no ill will i just need an outside opinion#i vented about it on my close friends story already but i need like. a neutral party#i won't say their name but if you're on other socials you probably know who it is#basically for a while i've been getting messages saying 'this person has hacked your art style' or 'is REDACTED your alt account'#and in the beginning there were like. similarities? but nothing i could really claim and also i don't want to accuse someone of theft#like i don't own any stylistic choices or anything. i've used things from other artists i like. honestly it's kind of flattering#and we are actually really friendly in DMs now and we even joke about it. we message eachother any time we get a comment about it#i made a joke literally 2 weeks ago about how we're two different people i swear#but after adding some Very specific things to my art (like the paper texture/hatching/shiny lighting). they also added them#and i gave them the benefit of the doubt bc i don't like to believe anyone has bad intent with stuff like that. and i've done the same obvs#but recently they dropped some tav lore and it was. basically a panel for panel copy of one of my cyra comics down to the HAND PLACEMENT#and obviously i don't own the Bitch Mother trope or anything but it's just. mmmmm it makes me feel weird#idk it just feels like it's gone a bit far now and i'm not sure what to do about it#like you would think after we became moots they would get scared and stop but i think i was too openly trusting and they just kept going#recently someone on THEIR PATREON thought they were me and they weren't even one of mine (which by itself is funny but. y'know)#i don't want to call anyone out or upset anyone bc it only causes more problems but like. i Know. and idk if they should know that i know#maybe i'm just stupid idk i really trusted that it wasn't happening but it is and i don't know how to feel#hONESTLY I'M JUST MAD THAT I CAN'T DO ANY MORE CYRA LORE NOW BC PEOPLE ARE GOING TO ACCUSE **ME**#also PLEASE do not witch hunt this person i want to deal with this as quietly as possible#i really felt like i was in the twilight zone or just being paranoid so i had to ask
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of course the show that is fundamentally centered around two sisters and their tragedies becomes centered around men and said sisters are sidelined and their arcs are pushed to the sidelines and all the phenomenal care that went into their characters went down the drain. one’s arc is literally “the traumatized / mentally unwell character’s happy ending is committing suicide because they are simply too broken to heal and be happy” trope, and her mental instability is forgotten. the other is reduced to a mere plot device, has no agency of her own, and her trauma and anger is treated like a complete and utter joke for the sake of a shitty ship, and because the writers literally, point blank, were bored with her. it’s so sad because the tragedy of these sisters is so utterly devastating, so encompassing and so intricately woven into the narrative. but make it about two men i suppose?
#astra.txt#arcane#arcane s2#anti jayvik#arcane critical#i don’t hate jayce or viktor either btw#though their story took a very weird turn in my opinion#viktor being the mage in season one ruined a lot about their dynamic for me#it felt so cheap#i really like jayce#i don’t really care for viktor#but i don’t dislike either of them#it just felt weird#this is the first time i can confidently say i was in a show that was ruined by shipping btw#i hate it#a lot of season two felt incredibly cheap to me in the narrative sense and i simply cannot bring myself to like it#the animation somehow got better though i luv it#but unfortunately not even animation as good as arcane’s can save bad writing
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I… don’t really see myself continuing with the Amazing Digital Circus anymore.
#txt#it’s not a bad show#the recent episode was also pretty alright#but I don’t know. it’s just not clicking for me ya know? even though I really want to#I love the designs and the premise. I love that it has girls that are weird in not that condescending modern writing kind of way#the last episode just confused me. it felt purposefully aimless and then the last 3 minutes suddenly it was about Gangle wanting to be like#but… has anyone explictely shown any dislike for her other than Jax? everyone seems very friendly with her#I feel like it would have made more sense if Gangle felt mistreated or neglected#because a lot of terrible shit does happen to her (specifically from Jax) and nobody intervenes#whatever. I’m happy that other people are enjoying the episode though. I’m just not feeling this show anymore
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act 5 my beloved
still images belowww
#i recently replayed act 5 for funsies and i very much like thinking about this moment#like. siffrin has been going through the motions the entire way through the house and fighting the king#but then he passes out and gets sent to this weird headspace void and it kinda feels like the wind was taken out of his sails#and i just wanted to draw the feeling of wtf i felt the first time i played it#also wanted to draw the mdp part where he gets really freaked out but. school started. not enough time to do the things i want rip#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#isat#isat act 5 spoilers
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do you actually dislike the bird abode or just the creature designs? not saying the name directly so your ass doesn't get blasted by the tag
I like a lot of the creatures in it; the showrunner is a really fantastic horror artist and it really comes through in the aesthetics of the show. I especially like this hand dragon, though there's a lot of other great designs:

As for the show on the whole, it's not bad but not really for me? Early on it really feels like it's schtick will be that it's a subversion of harry potter-esque stories, where the protagonist wants to go on an adventure similar to her favorite fantasy book but instead ends up hanging out with the "villain" (who's actually just othered)/the magic school turns out to be secretly oppressive/the world is kind of gross and spooky instead of clean and approachable... but as it goes along I think it ends up being a pretty by the books YA fantasy thing played mostly straight, and it isn't super interesting or funny or scary or anything besides that. Which admittedly was probably to its benefit, I think a lot of its popularity comes from it being this very tropeish and not-uncomfortable magic school/found family story that's actually queer, like I genuinely think this is hugely appealing to the average cartoon fan on twitter, but I'm just not personally into it in comparison to a lot of it's contemporaries
#ok very slight tangent#this is such a weird nothing complaint but you know i really don't like that line of critique you see a lot amongst animation fans#where they praise a show for Sticking It To Steven Universe by killing off a villain#and the owl house's climax feels almost like it plays into that intentionally with the little star boy who thinks he can hug the villain#which in the moment was kind of souring for me even if that wasn't the intention (though certainly twitter thought it was)#because I find steven universe was so comparatively subversive and bespoke to itself and complete in its metaphors#that it felt nearly eye rolling#because it was like it was sort of priding itself on being normal and tropey in contrast to this more unique and confronting show#(this isn't why I'm a bit lukewarm on the show. I just think it's a lukewarm show & I again don't mean that in a damning way)#(but everytime the owl house comes up I can't help but think of it)#talking tag
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not to go off topic but i think that ideal post-canon dungeon meshi situation for kabru is for him to simultaneously have a slowburn domestic cozy noodles and rare escapes to go monster hunting and falling asleep in the same bed situation with mithrun AND some sort of high politics high stakes power dynamics they can't escape, manipulation equally matched by hopeless affection, glances shared over council tables, getting caught in the closet with the king again (explaining basic social protocols to him) thing with laios.
then just as he's coming to terms with his own feelings and the possibility that they might be romantic he learns that mithrun and laios have in fact been carrying on some sort of psychosexual no-strings affair the whole time (mithrun sits on the dresser and dispassionately explains horrific and bizarre monster situations from around the globe while laios gets off seven feet away)
#dungeon meshi#mithrun#laios touden#kabru of utaya#labrumisu#sometimes Mithrun tells Laois about how he would have mercy killed him#and laios tells Mithrun what it felt like to have the demon spasm and die under him#hashtag just boys night#before you ask me how kabru didn’t realize this was happening#he KNEW they were having little secret meeting he just thought it was therapeutic#which in a sense trying to make each other cry is but#they always looked like they’d had a really cathartic conversation when they came out of laios’ room! mithrun was so cheerful afterwards#in fairness it was good for them#they were both having fun and letting off steam#it’s only kabru who’s being weird about it per usual
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⚠️Moxie announcement⚠️
Alright… here goes. I’ve been a little nervous to say this, but I think it’s time: I want to start going poly alongside Sanji.
Sanji is still everything to me. He has a permanent, irreplaceable place in my heart, and nothing about that is changing. But the truth is, I’ve realized I have so much love in me—it feels like more than I can give to just one person. Lately (okay more along the course of several months), I’ve fallen madly in love with two other characters too, and I really want to start sharing that love here in the community.
This isn’t about moving on or loving Sanji any less. It’s just about embracing how full my heart feels, and letting myself be open to loving more than one fictional man at once. I know some of you followed me thinking I was strictly mono, and I totally understand if that changes things for you. But this feels right for me, and I hope you can support me as I figure it all out.
Thanks for hearing me out. If you have any questions feel free to ask me. Ahhh I hope nobody hates me for this. Sorry if I disappointed anyone’s expectations of me! 😭

#moxie announcement!#gosh I’m scared#ahhhhh#probably gonna get some backlash on this :’{#I really really really really fucking love sanji#but I also really really also fucking love these other two men two#and then I felt like I couldn’t be poly#but I still supported everyone else who was poly#but not myself 😭#it’s just ah.#I’m kinda scared#I know like 80% of my mutuals are poly which is kind a dumb thing to be scared about#but like idk I sorta feel embarrassed and weird#not really embarrassed for who I love#but more embarrassed in myself?
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when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this
#rare WIP preview from me#this is in like. 10 episodes. lmfao#its been really hard working this far ahead#my editor isnt giving me any feedback and my friends are very busy so it's felt quite lonely#which is fine! for my friends I mean. but its my editors job to give me feedback...#but the webtoon editors are extremely extremely extremely overworked and my series is set to end so I understand its low priority#its not her fault its webtoons fault. however. its still demotivating...#oh well l m a o#I should be much further ahead ngl LMFAO I want like 12 done but I come back in 2 weeks.#we'll see#when I get really stressed out I go full gamer mode#and usually I'll sink like 60 hours (like 5 days) into a game and then I'm good and move on#but this recent game that grabbed me is. its too much actually#bit uncontrollable ngl I think its an ADHD thing I mostly have just quit playing videogames at all#cause its like yeah being stressed cause theres too much work to do is not going to be helped by losing a week and a half to a game...#and yet.#anyways the game is satisfactory#my friend bought it for me and we've been playing together#and our shared file has. 100 hours on it. and we still havent beaten the game#we're close to beating it and it's not like we're rushing or anything#cause its fun to fuck around and zap eachother or whatever#but it's got me doing math. the exact kind of math I love to do. optimization#and its reminding me yeah in another life id have been an engineer#I'm glad I'm an artist but its always weird like yeah this is easily a path I could have gone down#'artists hate math' speak for yourself doing math calms me down! I love math!#I love math and I love business. I'm almost the perfect artist but I hate advertising so. we can't have it all#anyways theyre so fucking cute its sickening. I love them so much. I could cry#WIP#lineart#time and time again
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"who knows if i draw them like this again" - says the person who immediately draws them like this even more (and a godpoke as a treat) . shut upppppp
#ggg spoilers#great god grove#ggg bizzyboys#ggg capochin#ggg hector#ggg godpoke#Crumbs the godpoke :)#the hector and vib doodles r from a line in the credits where vib says they gotta help tailor him new clothes n it makes me a little insane#hector has weird little quirks now as an ex- god. btw. sniles so sneetly#my grujaja favoritism is real.#you give headcanon to a guy and then u go insane about them. da curse..... da curse i swears....#oh to be a background character someone makes hc about and then goes absolutely feral for lol#i mean i already rlly liked gruja but it just got worse lol#also a friend said my bananathaniel art is making him their fave and i felt like i was 'bout to ascend to godhood myself#fun fact!#it took an hour to write these tags cuz the group chat decided to be foul and make the worst ggg oc that sent me into divine rage#“it cant be that bad” it is. it really is.#i love my friends but they LOVE to specifically cause me anguish
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Kingdom Hearts - Halloween Town
#kingdom hearts#kh1#halloween town#scenery#my gif#not sure if i ever really registered that the sky is red when you're in the town#as well as all of the background noises that constantly play. from snarling dogs to weird scurrying and strange laughter#i had to talk myself out of the idea of doing a quick replay of this game so that i could include oogie boogie's manor#because it's such an intricately designed location. they really went all out on it but it disappears after you defeat him#i felt so unsatisfied leaving it out of this set#so i elected to just use shots from some cutscenes and painted out any characters in the way#saved me so much time and it worked out quite well#i have a couple of other gifs from this world that i'll save for halloween since that's coming up next month :]
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“Maybe the flash was to blame. Or maybe it’s his shrunken state that gave the looming witch the illusion of being exactly 10 feet tall.
Whatever it was, it had flicked something within. Suddenly, he was no longer a lizard. Nor a great, powerful wizard. Not even “Rick Shades.”
He was a little Gourami.
Only 12 years old. Eyes wide and unobscured. Skin smooth from the lack of scars. But most of all, untainted by the horrors.
And unlike that little Gourami, he was entirely aware of what’s coming for them. He could warn the 12 year old. Maybe save them even. Tell her that continuing this approach is a bad, BAD, VERY TERRIBLY BAD IDEA!!
…
But he couldn’t.”
My inspiration pieces: :)


#I’m actually really proud of this piece#epithet erased#rick shades#toidei gourami#lorelai blyndeff#prison of plastic spoilers#anyone else find it weird that rick didn’t butt in or made a peep during the whole thing?#I completely forgot he was there the whole time#like he had no issue doing that prior#molly even felt his little legs constantly moving in her hair#but here?#not even a ‘hello’?#not anything even after she got thrown out?#not ‘are you ok?’#no comment?#it feels off that he hasn’t said or done anything considering his character#was he so still that neither molly nor naven mentioned him?#ok granted they were both heavily occupied and distressed#is it just my angst-loving ass making a headcanon that he did a freeze response to a trigger?#probably#ok- 🥲#my art stuff#flicker’s art stuff#I have ZERO idea what the ocean king looks like so I just went with ‘squid man’
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Been avoiding the show because FUCK Amazon but. I said I'd post it so I'm postin it.
#i wouldve just not posted shit but were kinda reliant on amazon prime atm for reasons so i might as well watch the show ig#this will be like the only post on this show tho. just got shit recommended on youtube and was like “oh shit fr?”#like tf you mean the invincible war AND conquest in s3#where thragg? where he go? why hidden?#i will say. having powerplex who has the same silhouette as Mark and casting Jesse pinkman to kinda sound like Mark is hilarious. good job#and i like that Steven got to stretch his vocal talent even more with all the different marks#not sure about rexs death tho. the buildup was painful don't get me wrong but the actual incident felt weird#in the comic he's like messed tf up. mark gives a whole speech and asks him “what are you gonna charge and explode?” and all he can muste#muster is a desperate “my SKELETON.” before he kills them both. but in the show rex has like a stab and a bloody nose and h#hits him with the latter half of tv off before taking him out. like idk the comic really stressed how fucked he was in soloing a mark varian#like it helped show just how strong mark is even compared to other supermen. but honestly here it just didn't feel so desperate#but idk that's it. show still kicks ass. good stuff. buhbye. my next post will probably be politics i got a few things i would like to say#ttfn#invincible#mark grayson#rex splode#rex sloan#gambit#gambit xmen#remy lebeau#x men 97#rip my boys. my beatiful baby boys
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