#it's just fascinating how they don't even try to understand us anymore

[felassan]

Some snippets (compilation) from the comments section of [this recent video] by Mark Darrah on YouTube titled ’How 2017 Changed BioWare 1000 Ways’.

rest of post under cut due to length.

Mark Darrah: "BioWare seems to be rebuilding now. I guess we'll have to keep watching"

Mark Darrah: "BioWare and EA seem to be fully behind the next Mass Effect"

User: "I hope the next Mass Effect brings the studio back on track, I doubt they will have many chances left if that game fails. Judging by the people that are involved, they are definitely trying." Mark Darrah: "Seems like"

Mark Darrah: "I don’t know what is next for DA"

Mark Darrah: "A super rushed Joplin likely would have been deeply flawed"

User: "I often learn more about what was going on at Bioware from this channel than I did in 10 years working at Bioware 🙃" Mark Darrah: "oof" Aaryn Flynn: "I learned some things too!" Mark Darrah: "@ blind men touching an elephant"

Bryan Johnson: "Very interesting to hear your perspective since I definitely was not a high level person. Crazy how much they kept the Casey return, as a few of us knew about it a bit earlier because we wrote something to scrape the employee staff data as we were getting tired of not hearing about people leaving the company." Mark Darrah: "wow"

User: "The shenanigans you just described, combined with David Gaider's recent posts about his own treatment at this company solves the mystery as to why DA has ended up in the state it's in. Thank you for clarifying." Mark Darrah: "I wouldn’t put it all on 2017"

User: "As someone who adores Dragon Age, it seems EA doesn't understand RPG fantasy games and doesn't understand what they have with Dragon Age and probably never will." Mark Darrah: "Likely"

User: "I can tell you as strictly a fan that I FELT the 'pivot' as you called it, in 2017. Andromeda felt half old BioWare and half something I didn't recognize as the same language. Anthem was a completely different dialect. SOMETHING was obviously changing at BioWare..." Mark Darrah: "That said, Anthem had been in development a WHILE by 2017"

User: "The level of organizational disfunction at such a big company is astounding." Mark Darrah: "Very common"

User: "I truly wish EA cared more for fsntasy, because it definitely seems like sci-fi and sports is what the higher-ups drool over." Mark Darrah: "We'll see what the future has to bring but..."

User: "And in all that time, Star Wars the Old Republic was keeping up Bioware's slack. Now they don't have that option anymore." Mark Darrah: "It was. Though I'm not sure EA saw it that way"

User: "The infuriating part of all this is that nobody even got what they wanted. Especially EA. The behaviour of these execs would at least be explicable if it had led to commercial success, but it didn't. Why are business execs so uniquely bad at doing business? It's their only job." Mark Darrah: "Successful Live services make so much that the risk was seen as worth it"

Mark Darrah: "Montreal didn't work on Anthem, they were moved to a different EA studio"

Mark Darrah: "Quarter based isn’t great planning for gamedev"

User: "It was a big surprise that BioWare didn't crumble immediately like so many before (Westwood, Origin, Bullfrog, Mythic). It's fascinating to learn that it was because BioWare was put under EA Sports management who were in no position to meddle with the development of RPGs." Mark Darrah: "The EA sports thing happened a bit later... I want to say 2013 or something."

User: "I am still hopeful, despite everything that's happened, that we'll still see more Dragon Age at some point" Mark Darrah: "You never know. EA owns a LOT of IPs"

Mark Darrah: "It’s the nature of most corporations to focus on costs longer term than revenue. Which is an issue for things that take many years to do"

Mark Darrah: "Every game that ships is a miracle"

User: "I am an optimistic. I hope that DA will be back and that EA and Bioware ups realise what a gem Dragon age truly is." Mark Darrah: "Hopefully"

Mark Darrah: "There was a story about Andromeda threading the needle between colonialism and a refugee story and telling neither story fully but that never got discussed"

Mark Darrah: "I do think MEA could have repaired its rep if given more post launch time"

User: "This is so sad. I really hope these videos bring some kinda change, whether it be with EA or teach other developers/publishers about what not to do." Mark Darrah: "..."

User: "Veigulard is like a product of this turbulent development process and continuos change of scope without respect to the development team." Mark Darrah: "Veilguard is a story for another day... hopefully"

Mark Darrah: "SWTOR was always a mystery to me too. It seemed like they had a pretty clear "If we sped 1$ we get more than 1$ back" repeatable model but it wasn't valued."

User: "I guess my only question is, did Casey Hudson ever actually fought for the Joplin vision/to keep DA Singleplayer at all? It seems odd to me that EA allowed DA to go back to Singleplayer in early 2021, shortly after Hudson left. I mean, Anthem was his idea and it flopped. The Jason Schreier articles stated devs were calling the live service Morrison "Anthem with dragons", so I wonder if Hudson was actually in support of turning DA into an MMO. Not trying to find someone to blame for everything, but I'll just forever wonder if things would've been different with someone else at the top." Mark Darrah: "I don’t think he was. Simply living in the same environment we all were"

User: "What was your relationship with the higher-ups and your team like for the remainder of your time at Bioware?" Mark Darrah: ""Doing a job" probably describes my last 2-3 years"

User: "I hope there is smooth sailing for ME5 and the story will knock our socks off." Mark Darrah: "I am following Mass Effect for sure"

Mark Darrah: "Origin [Systems] was actually under the BioWare umbrella at one point if you can believe it"

Mark Darrah: "Ray [one of the BioWare co-founders] spent a lot of his capital resisting EA until he left."

User: "If Joplin and the DA team had gotten the manpower from the Montreal team and resources they required do you think Joplin could have avoided EA’s push toward live service? (Sorry for the double comment, issue with my connection for a second there)" Mark Darrah: "... Its hard to say. Those 2 things are honestly pretty tightly coupled"

User: "Did you talk to Casey about the Anthem situation? It seems like he just pushed Anthem without discussing it internally which is so strange to do" Mark Darrah: "There were conversations. Casey can be very convincing"

User: "I think they damaged the relationship with their consumers as well" Mark Darrah: "In 2017? Definitely stopping the MEA dlc didn’t help"

User: "Have you considered writing an unauthorized history of Bioware, Mark?" Mark Darrah: "I’ve thought about a book. Not sure if there is one in there…"

User: "my trust in Nexteffect is very low just like it's for Bioware overall nowadays, but I won't judge before the game is out." Mark Darrah: "Keep following the game. Hopefully it will be great"

Mark Darrah: "EA doesn't sell IP"

User: "It's always so weird to hear the two teams at BW were kinda against each other" Mark Darrah: "Its weird how much the teams saw the differences as opposed to the similarities"

Mark Darrah: "I’m not sure that a large corporation can NOT assimilate an acquisition. Even if it tries"

User: "I have zero expectations for the next Mass Effect game" Mark Darrah: "There is still blood left in that stone"

Mark Darrah: "DA2’s budget is pretty small"

Mark Darrah: "We are starting to see a pivot back but basically the math is: 1. A successful live service makes WAY more than a successful SP game. 2. So much more that even if only 30% of our bets work we are still better off. BUT. 30% of their bets have NOT worked. Its way lower than that"

User: "The year BioWare started being finally digested by EA." Mark Darrah: "Finished I'd say"

User: "Do you feel like the "little to gain, little to lose" attitude from EA happened with The Veilguard as well?" Mark Darrah: "It isn't the same situation I don't think"

User: "How close were we to just getting any Dragon Age release, ever? Do you think the 10 year wait between releases damaged marketability?" Mark Darrah: "Do you mean how close was Joplin to happening? Not very close. It never even entered true pre-production" User: "regarding Anthem’s live service status… were people moved from Austin (The Old Republic) to help with that? Because it would greatly explain the content drought in the game at the time." Mark Darrah: "A ton of Austin people were on Anthem and Anthem Live. Not sure if they were pulled off of SWTOR though"

User: "I don't think EA understand video game development..." Mark Darrah: "They understand very specific kinds of development"

User: "if I were at BioWare, I would have had no trust in EA to keep their word after they agreed to let Dragon Age become single player again in 2021." Mark Darrah: "different people in different chairs but yeah"

Mark Darrah: "Yeah I don’t think anyone was malicious"

User: "do I understand correctly then that actual work on what eventually became The Veilguard started in 2019, after Anthem?" Mark Darrah: "There are very thin threads that trail all the way back to 2015 but most work happened after 2019. REALLY most happened after 2021 when it went back to SP."

User: "It seems like the Dragon Age team and Mass Effect teams have resentment towards each other, but I rarely hear from Hudson discussing this. It’s mostly the Dragon Age team." Mark Darrah: "I think we all have different stances for sure"

User: "I'm sure they don't appreciate you telling the full truth." Mark Darrah: "There’s much more to it then this"

Mark Darrah: "That Anthem pitch was so good it lasted 7 years of Casey being gone"

User: "Execs lying to you numerous times, then lying to the Dragon Age staff about the nature of their relocation, only to have them crunch on Anthem, is horrendous." Mark Darrah: "I don’t think they were lying to me at the time. It just became untrue"

[source]

[kyshosmd]

READY OR NOT— xeno h. wingfield x top!amab reader

synopsis: in which xeno gets tied up and y/n rails the arrogance out of him. senku walks in post-nut and realizes his big bro just fucked their mentor.

tw: top amab reader, sub character, kinda dubcon, reader is senku's older brother here, power dynamics (former mentor/protégé), mild degradation & possessiveness, semi-public setting, bondage themes, dark humor & inappropriate scientific metaphors, canon divergence, more plot than porn again, also, clowned stanley in this for no reason

author's note: HELP i first gotta thank yall for 400 notes on my stanley x reader fic? that was my first fic i didn't expect to gets so many likes tysm! this is again self-indulgent. also another thing, the fanart i used is from pinterest idk by who but it's so beautiful my wife looks so pretty.... idk i can't write smut or xeno. i hope this wasn't too ooc. i think this is more funny stuff than smut too. someone teach me how to write smut...

You didn’t realize how fast your heart was pounding until the silence between you and Xeno started echoing off the metal walls.

He looked smaller here—tied up on his own ship, back to sleek white cushions and arms behind him, restrained in a way that should've been humiliating. But of course, it wasn’t. Because Dr. Xeno Houston Wingfield did not do humiliation.

No, he did elegance. Even now, with his hair messy and his lab coat wrinkled, he was sitting up straight like a damn royalty. His chin was tilted up in a way that screamed, “I may be your prisoner, but you’re still beneath me.”

And honestly? You hated how attractive that made him look.

"I presume you're just going to keep staring," Xeno finally muttered, voice smooth and low. "That's what this entire endeavor has boiled down to? Some brooding visual assessment of the man who supposedly betrayed your brother?"

You resisted the urge to rub your temples. Of course he'd intellectualize this.

“No,” you said flatly. “I’m staring because I’m trying to figure out how someone so smart could be such a goddamn idiot.”

Xeno raised an eyebrow. “Ah. The classic emotional reasoning fallacy. Might I remind you—Senku trespassed into sovereign territory during an active militarized standoff. Logically, the standard response—”

“You ordered him to be shot, Xeno.”

There it was. The shift. Barely perceptible. A slight clench of his jaw. A twitch in the corners of his black, expressionless eyes—those soulless, shark-like orbs that had haunted you back when you still thought he walked on water.

"It was a calculated decision. You, of all people, should understand that sacrifices must be made in pursuit of a greater scientific goal. The preservation of civilization demands—"

"Don't," you snapped. Your voice dropped, low and tight, barely more than a growl. "Don't you dare go into one of your goddamn monologues. You’re not lecturing me in a DARPA lab anymore."

His eyes flicked over you, assessing, dissecting. “You’re angry. Fascinating. I recall a time when you hung onto my every word. When I was your idol. What changed?”

“You tried to kill my brother.”

A pause. Then Xeno gave a slight tilt of the head, like a chessmaster contemplating his next move. “And yet... you still volunteered to guard me. Alone. Curious, don’t you think?”

You stepped forward, slow and measured. Your boots thudded against the ship floor with each step. His posture didn’t shift, but you caught the smallest hitch in his breath.

"I’m not here for you," you lied.

“Of course, how elegant.” he said with a tight smile. “This is purely logistical. Practical. Rational. Just like you were trained to be.”

You crouched in front of him now, leveling your eyes with his. “Xeno, I swear, if you say the word elegant one more time—”

“—You’ll what?” he murmured, eyes locked on yours. “You’ll silence me? Restrain my intellect with brute force? Very elegant of you.”

That’s when you pinned him.

Quick, precise. A palm braced on the back of the couch, your knee slotted between his legs, weight pushing into his chest. Xeno’s breath hitched—visibly. You were close enough now to see the way his pupils dilated, the very rare flicker of panic in his usually glacial expression.

“W-what exactly do you think you’re doing—?” His voice cracked halfway through, and there it was: a tiny, barely-there squeak.

God. You hadn’t heard that noise since you shoved a caffeine canister into his hands and told him to pull his first all-nighter. That was back before you realized you were in love with a sociopathic space nerd.

You leaned closer, lips ghosting the shell of his ear. “Still think I’m your obedient little student, doc?”

Xeno’s breath hitched again—shaky, unsure. You swore his legs tensed around your thigh. A flush crept up his neck like a betrayal of his entire icy persona.

“I— I would advise you not to act rashly,” he said, trying and failing to keep his voice deep and commanding. “We’re still in a volatile situation—diplomatically speaking—and it would be highly irresponsible to—”

You smirked against his neck.

And then the door creaked a little in the distance.

You straightened slowly, meeting his wide, glossy-eyed stare with calm indifference. “Relax,” you murmured. “We’re just catching up, remember?”

Xeno didn’t answer.

It should’ve been humiliating—being tied up on his own ship, his ex-protégé pinning him down like a particularly stubborn lab sample. But for some cursed reason, Xeno’s body refused to cooperate with his ego.

His breath was unsteady. His pulse was erratic. And when you finally slid your hands under his thighs to adjust him on the couch, Xeno let out a sound.

A real, human sound. Not elegant. Not calculated. Not anything he’d ever let anyone hear.

And that’s when your smirk widened. “Still think you’re in control, doc?”

Xeno bristled. “If you’re attempting to assert dominance through brute force, allow me to remind you that such behavior is unscientific, deeply crass, and frankly—” his breath hitched again “—inelegant!”

You leaned down, warm breath fanning across his neck. “You keep saying that word like it’s gonna save you.”

“I am a scientist,” he hissed through gritted teeth as you started unbuckled his belt and started pulling him out of his unnaturally ironed trousers (his kingdom of science was much advanced than Senku's, obviously they'd have an iron). “Not some... some primitive breeding stock you can toss around like—nnngh—like a troglodyte!”

“Well, science is about experimentation, right?”

You pulled his trousers down to his knees pretty roughly, and Xeno let out a muffled noise—part gasp, part whimper. Definitely not elegant. You whistled at the fact that Xeno still went through the trouble of creating ...undergarments.

He was flushed now. Fully. Hair mussed, chest rising and falling way too fast for someone supposedly “uninterested in carnal matters.” His hands tugged weakly against the restraints behind his back as you began trailing kisses (and the occasional bite) down the side of his throat.

“I’m your former mentor,” he spat, almost desperately. “Have you truly lost all manners and respect? You can't just undress me as you please!”

You huffed a quiet laugh against his collarbone. “Yup. Somewhere between you ordering my brother’s murder and calling me a ‘fascinating biological anomaly’ in your thesis.”

Xeno groaned and tossed his head back as you started unbuckling your own belt. “I was referring to your neural durability, not your—hnngh!—incredibly irritating proclivity to ravage people without preparation.” Xeno gasped when you grabbed his hips and pressed up against his ass. Not because it was sudden, but because he realized just how big his ex-protege is.

You grinned. “You’re gonna be fine, doc. I’ve had practice.”

You spit into your hand, just casually. Just enough to make his eyes widen with something like horror.

“That’s unsanitary!” he barked, full panic now. “Absolutely unhygienic! Saliva carries over 700 identified microbial— oh—OH—”

His sentence dissolved into a high-pitched breathy moan as you pulled his last piece of clothing of his lower half down and worked your fingers inside him, and holy hell, that was NOT a sound he was ever supposed to make.

“What was that, doc?” you teased, grinning against the side of his flushed cheek as you circled your fingers inside him. “Didn’t catch that last part.”

“I—I said—y-you’re a brute,” he gasped, biting back a noise that might’ve been a sob. “A barbarian. A—a statistically significant deviation from civilized conduct.”

“I think you like it,” you murmured, tone dropping like a hammer.

Xeno’s breath shattered. He bucked helplessly into your body, throat trembling with every strangled noise he swore he wasn’t making. If anyone walked in right now, they’d see the esteemed Dr. Xeno reduced to a breathless, glassy-eyed mess.

“I must remind you,” he gasped, “restraints aside, this kind of behavior is neither efficient nor—ah—nor sterile—!”

Your fingers brushed lower and he twitched. Hard.

"Pretty sure you lost the moral high ground when you tried to assassinate my sibling,” you muttered, leaning closer. “So shut up and let me prep you before I get impatient.”

Xeno's mouth dropped open like he wanted to argue, but all that came out was a pathetic, airless wheeze. “Th-that’s not a unit of time!”

You ignored hi m, slipping your fingers deeper inside with maddening slowness.Xeno bucked slightly, hands tugging at the binds behind him. “Y/n—Y/n, I—your fingers are—hnnngh—far too large to qualify as an appropriate—oh my god—substitute for proper preparation!”

“Then you’re gonna hate what comes after,” you murmured into his ear.

You pulled your fingers out, and what happened next was quick. You bottomed out inside him. And Xeno let out a high, startled gasp, almost like a hiccup of air, like his lungs had given up trying to do anything useful. His entire body went taut, back arching off the sofa in a panicked curve.

“You—your anatomy—" Xeno stammered, his voice climbing half an octave. “You’re—this is not—you're too big!”

You snorted softly. “You’re the one who kept calling me a ‘genetic marvel’ in your lab notes. What, surprised that the marvel goes all the way down?”

He gave an offended whimper.

You reached down, guiding yourself against him with almost scientific precision, watching the tension ripple through his restrained frame.

"You sure you can take it?" you murmured. “This’ll stretch you more than the truth did when you told Senku your nukes were ‘only theoretical.’”

"Wait—no, I—I need to calculate—" But it was too late. You pressed in, slow and deliberate, watching him break inch by inch.

Xeno gasped—loud, ragged, helpless. “Th-this is—oh god—brutish, absurdly large—” His voice cracked completely.

You leaned in, nipping the shell of his ear. “Bigger than your loyal knight?”

Xeno froze. You have no idea why you asked that. Somewhere in you was a deep envy of Stanley. You felt it—the moment his brain went from DEFCON 5 to full-blown catastrophic shutdown. His mouth opened, then closed. A sound like a dying fax machine came out. And then, almost in a whisper—

“…yes.”

You blinked. "Sorry, didn't quite catch that."

His face turned a deep red, almost purple. "I said���YES, alright?! You’re bigger than Stanley! Now just—just do it already before I develop some sort of mental scar from the suspense!”

The answer was pretty satisfying. Guess you won over Stanley in this field. You grinned like the menace you were born to be. “Gladly, doc.”

Then you rocked your hips forward.

The thing about having DARPA-trained cybernetic strength? You didn’t tire easily. The thing about Xeno? He absolutely did.

You flipped him like a on every surface that couch had to offer—face down, sideways, bent in half, you even wanted to do the cowboy position, but you scrapped that idea cause he's too weak for that. He kept sputtering about “ethical concerns” and “joint alignment” while you manhandled him like the unsolved mystery of human anatomy that he was.

“W-WAIT—wait wait—Y/N, my back!” he snapped in the middle of being rearranged into position number five. “How do younger people have so much stamina?! This is completely inelegant! This is—AH—s-something is definitely snapping!”

You snorted, not slowing down for a second. “That’s probably just your pride, Doc.”

“NO. It's my sciatic nerve!”

He still tried to maintain some dignity. At first.

Tried to keep his sharp tongue going, snarking between moans: "Primitive brute—" "So inelegant—" "This is the least sterile thing I've—HNNGHH—e-ever endured!"

By minute 56? He was fully limp against you, dazed eyes half-lidded, hair sticking to his forehead. A mess of trembles and quiet, breathy noises, arms still bound behind his back.

Senku totally heard the muffled noises.

Low groans. Sharp gasps. The occasional breathy “please—Y/N—slow—ahhh—" that sounded an awful lot like Dr. Xeno Wingfield being emotionally and physically dismantled.

But Senku, ever the rational king of ignoring things that didn’t concern him, just stayed in the lab corner of the ship, muttering something about chemical ratios.

“Aniki’s got it handled,” he said, flipping a page in his notebook. “Probably arguing over math again.”

About ten minutes later, the door slid open.

Xeno was cleaned up—technically.

He was sitting upright on the couch, hair still damp from your very rushed towel-down, cheeks flushed from residual heat, his legs trembling faintly under the blanket you’d thrown over him like that would actually cover up the fact his guts had been rearranged.

You were lounging beside him, completely unbothered, sipping a water bottle like you didn’t just rearrange the very fabric of academia with your hips.

And that’s when Senku walked in.

He looked at Xeno.

Then looked at you.

Then looked at Xeno’s very obvious post-orgasm daze, the faint bite marks climbing up his neck, the way he couldn’t sit straight even with back support.

And he froze.

One blink. Two.

“...Aniki,” Senku said slowly. “Did you just fuck our mentor?”

[wemalyri]

what are enhypen members like in a relationship? heeseung ver.

pairing: idols!enhypen × fem!reader

w/c: 1,8k

warnings: relationship development, petnames, kisses, physical touch, smut under cut

a/n:  I feel like this one is a bit messy. I just wanted to speak out. it's just my opinion and made for entertainment! you can agree or disagree, that's fine. if you liked it, likes and reposts are welcomed. also let me know if I should do this with other members too. 

heeseung jay jake sunghoon sunoo jungwon niki

the first meeting

So, first of all, let's be honest. Have you seen how awkward and embarrassed Heeseung looks around girls? Even Jay in the interview said that Heeseung is actually really shy around females, but he treats everyone nicely. So when you first meet, don't expect him to talk a lot. He would act politely, nodding sometimes as you talk, but not more. He might like you, though. The way you speak, the way you look, the way you laugh. He would be quietly impressed, but wouldn’t think a lot about that, because he meets so many beautiful fans and not only every day. He would be just fascinated and that’s it.

However, as you start to bump into each other more often, he would start thinking “Oh, her outfit today was so nice” or “Her hair looked really cute today”.  Maybe he would start to open a little bit more, like when you meet in the elevator he would greet you with a smile and make small talk about weather or something casual. Heeseung would ask, "Which floor are you going to?" just to press the elevator button instead of you. 

friendship

When he realizes that you are close friends with Jake, it doesn’t go unnoticed. Sometimes he starts seeing you in the studio, in the practice room, in their dorm after all... Moreover, you get along with other members, which predisposes Heeseung’s trust to you. He’s starting to feel more relaxed around you, getting used to it. And that’s when you become friends with Heeseung too. 

He finds out you two have a lot in common, it fascinates him. The way you’re both hardworking, charismatic, kind, gentle and funny. You show your emotions a bit more than him, but it only delights him. You two would play video games together and even though you love it, you kinda suck at games sometimes. He wouldn’t laugh at you, but praise after each game “You did well, though”. During the game, when you make a good move with your character, Heeseung would exclaim “Wow that was good”. And even though you lose a lot, you are never upset with that and always praise Heeseung with a gentle smile. And there is something in your actions that made Heeseung want to give in so you could win just to see your smile and the way you try to make it up for him, so he wouldn’t be upset. 

But it’s not just about games. Everything about you just feels right like you were made for each other. Your playful comments, your interests, your reactions. The way you look, the way you talk, the way you rub your eyes, feeling sleepy during a movie. And this is when he realizes that maybe he likes you a bit a lot. 

He would understand that immediately, Heeseung knows himself. But he wouldn’t bring it up to you, scared of what to do. Normally, he would put himself together and confess to you no matter what, but right now he’s an idol… And it makes everything 100x more difficult. What if you like him back? Should you two date? But what if someone finds out? Wait, what if you don’t even like him…

With these thoughts Heeseung came up to Jake, your best friend. Actually, he wasn’t the one who brought it up first. It was Jake, who noticed Heeseung's behavior around you.

“Do you like Y/n by the way?” Jake would ask just to make sure, but Heeseung’s red ears, nervous giggle and head in love would tell everything without words.

his confession

He doesn’t care anymore what’s gonna happen. He just feels that it would be honest to confess to you, to let you know his feelings.

He would ask you for a walk and make surprise just for you. Imagine, it’s dark outside and Heeseung leads you to the Han river (sounds scary lol). He closes your eyes with his hands as you come near the place that he prepared. Heeseung slowly guides you, being careful so you wouldn’t stumble. When his steps stop, his hands move away from your face and you see a picnic place that Heeseung organized for you.

So this is where he confesses to you. He’s hella nervous, his voice is quiet.

“I don’t want my words to ruin anything, but I feel like you deserve to know my true feelings. I want to be honest with you. Y/n, I like you. Maybe even more than that. I tried to get rid of this, but that was too difficult. You don’t have to answer back, I just wanted you to know.”

When you say to him that you like him too, his smile is the brightest you’ve ever seen. You two hug each other, when he whispers “Can I be your boyfriend?

And your answer again makes him the happiest person ever.

relationship

I feel like he’s the type to be really awkward and shy at first. Like the first time you would go out somewhere to get used to each other’s presence. Even though you already were friends, now your relationship felt different and you would need time to adjust yourself. Heeseung would definitely be the sweetest guy ever, trying to show himself from the best side as your boyfriend. He would buy you flowers, win plushies in the arcade, text you even when he was at work. He would listen to you attentively, admiring you with a soft smile on his face. Also at the first time, I feel like he would be kinda awkward in the physical way around you. Like you two would hug each other when you met but nothing more. His ears would turn red and his leg would start shaking every time your hands met for a second or when your faces just closer to each other.

But it’s only for the first time. You can tell that when Heeseung gets comfortable, he gets too comfortable. He would start teasing you more, flirting more, touching you more. When he gets confident it’s really rare to see his ears red. He would flirt non-stop, getting really close to you physically. He would act like he was born to make you flustered. You can see how satisfied he looks when fans are blushing around him but if you’re his gf IT’S EVEN WORSE. And Heeseung is definitely the type of guy who would love to be affectionate around members/his friends. Flirting with you just to hear fake throw ups behind him? Oh yeah he loves that.

first kiss

I feel like Heeseung has had his first kiss already, but it doesn't make him less nervous. It's still important for him, he wants you to be comfortable enough, he wants to make it memorable. 

One time you are watching a movie together, his hand wrapped around your shoulder, you cuddling. When a movie ends, no one speaks. You just look at each other, your eyes stuck on his lips. Heeseung notices this and looks at your lips too, trying to put himself together to lean closer and gaze into your eyes, “Can I?..”, his voice is a soft whisper. As soon as you nod and give your permission, he slowly leans closer, pressing his lips to yours. He doesn't move first until you really kiss him. He smiles into a kiss, answering back. 

18+ UNDER CUT

first time

This bro is inexperienced, but he always tries to do his best. And always succeeds. Heeseung would be really scared to mess up in front of you. Like he's gonna read a lot about sex, watch different videos, even though he is probably not going to find out something new. He just wants to make sure there's nothing he doesn't know about. 

When the right time comes, Heeseung is the most gentle and caring person in the world. He's passionate, but slow. He asks you if you are sure a lot of times before doing something. He looks at you with those gentle fascinated eyes, giving you compliments as you take your clothes off. 

“You're so beautiful…” he whispers, leaning closer to you to kiss your naked chest, caressing your sides with his hands. 

I feel like for the first time he would be kinda shy to talk a lot, but he would remind himself to do it. When he sees your reaction to his words, Heeseung gets more confident. With each moan that follows his movement, he would become braver and bolder. 

“That's it, baby…” he murmurs, feeling you clenching around his fingers as he pulls them in and out, warming you up, “You feel so good around me”

He would let you cum before the main part as much as you want. On his fingers, on his tongue. Even though he's really hard and it's difficult to control himself, Heeseung would give you the best he can, making sure you receive enough stimulation. 

“Let it go, baby. Let me taste you well” he mumbles before pulling to your pussy again, sliding his tongue inside you, his nose massaging your clit. 

He would give himself off for 200%, being in the moment fully. When it comes to the main part, you have already come twice and he still hasn't even once. When you suggested a blowjob, he almost choked on the air, imagining your mouth around his cock, but didn't let you do anything. 

“Not today, baby…” he said as his ears turned red. “Or you want to stop? That's okay” Heeseung asked to make sure that you didn't suggest a blowjob just as an excuse.  “No, no, no. I don't want to stop” you answered, pulling him closer by the nape of his neck, “Don't stop…” you whispered and Heeseung couldn't help but smirked. “I got you, princess. I won't stop.”

I can say that when he finally slides inside you it's going to be the best feeling he's ever experienced. And it would become his favorite moment from now. 

Also, I feel like he's not into aftercare when it comes to himself, but he cares about you. Like he doesn't care if he's sweaty and covered all over your cum. Heeseung is going to ask you about your feelings first, to help you clean yourself. 

+ bonus

I feel like when he's used to sex with you, he's going to become wild. He just loves to make you feel good, loves to know that he can make you feel that way. He's going to find out a lot of things about himself through sex with you. 

It doesn't mean that he would be rude for no reason, only if you ask him to. He's always gentle with you, but also ready to do whatever you want to make you feel good. And trust me, if you want something from him, he's gonna be the best at it. ;)

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

Featuring Essek's Parents: A Shadowgast Rec List

This week, we have Essek's parents! Check under the cut for seven fics that feature Deirta, Essek's father or both! Don't forget to comment and kudos if you like them!

No One By That Name Lives Here Anymore by Operafloozy (13138, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

A few years after faking his own death, Essek runs into someone he used to know by chance in Uthodurn - A certain someone who had supposedly died his last death in Bazzoxan a few decades before.

Reccer says: This is a really interesting look at what consecution might actually imply in terms of family. It's really bittersweet and invites you to try to empathize with both sides of the central conflict instead of painting them in black and white. One might imagine that the beacons are grey for a reason. (Plus I REALLY love outsider POV!)

destructive interference by atlasarcana (141219, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Essek is haunted by a monster in Aeor that makes him suffer flashbacks of his worst actions; Caleb helps him forgive himself and take accountability.

Reccer says: Essek's family (Deirta, his father, and Verin) play a prominent role in the character study of how Essek is the way he is.

The Joys of Parenthood by Queen_of_Thornes (3945, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Four vignettes of Deirta Thelyss's exhausting life as mother of two precocious future leaders.

Reccer says: I'm not one for kidfic but this is just so dead-on to life with toddlers, insane and baffling little gremlins that they are, that I couldn't help but love it. It reminded me of my younger siblings when they were that age with the "How did you even think to do that" shenanigans they'd get up to so it's pretty nostalgic for me. Readers with children or who helped raise siblings will find a lot to relate to here.

spare just a day for the weeping by essektheylyss (divinationwizard) (3619, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Major Character Death

Criminal punishment among the upper echelon of the Dynasty is determined by the court, but implemented by the umavi of the den of the convicted.

Reccer says: Features a wonderfully complicated Deirta, and incredible character dynamics all around

until it doesn't hurt by breitweisergallery (3800, General) Reccer's Content Notes: None

5+1 times Deirta spoke to Essek via sending.

Reccer says: The fic delves into a more loving Deirta who is distant from Essek but still loves him all the same.

looking for the meaning of life by quinn-of-aebradore (15281, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Centuries later, Essek has settled into another new life. Little does he know so has Deirta.

Reccer says: A year is a long time all on its own and this fic is packed with impressions of lived history and emotion built over the course of centuries. If Deirta was once a distant parent, how might she try to bridge past gaps when a new life gives her extra perspective? If Essek has loved and lost and loved again, how might he understand his mother anew? A fascinating exploration of how time can change people and how people can change over time.

The following fic received two recs!

Starburst Hearts by kaeda (4805, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

A wonderfully tender fic in which Deirta catches up with Essek a few years after c2 and finds that her son is a man remade.

Reccer 1 says: Outsider POV my beloved! It turns a camera's eye onto the man Essek becomes through the Mighty Nein and gaining Caleb as a lover, and onto the love that the Nein have for him, shown through a soft lens. Reccer 2 says: A wonderful fic from Deirta's perspective of Essek's interactions with the M9 and all of the complicated family feelings that come along with it.

This is one of our weekly communally-generated shadowgast rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. 

And hey, anyone includes you!

Next week, we'll be featuring xenobiology! This includes all sorts of unusual and non-human biology

Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit!

[itsclydebitches]

Zevlor: An Angsty Character Analysis

Hey, Zevlor simps. Can I interest anyone in 4,000 words about our favorite disaster tiefling? 💀

“We can’t stay, but we’ll be slaughtered if we leave—we’re no fighters.”

Back during my first play-through this is the line that turned Zevlor from another dime-a-dozen, exposition spouting NPC to a character I was legitimately interested in. “We’re no fighters.” My DnD ignorance abounds, but even I could see that wasn’t an accurate statement. Here’s a mountain of a man sporting fancier armor than my level 2 Tav knows exists yet, having wrecked half the goblin hoard with his crossbow and, if you let him, he'll happily turn to punching as a solution to verbal disagreements. Plus, he’s clearly the one giving the orders, so what do you mean you’re not a fighter?

Having explored the Grove a bit I chalked it up to a generalized assessment of the refugees as a whole. They’re mostly kids, civilians, and would-be protectors who only look the part of fighters in cobbled-together armor. One woman is grappling with the guilt of killing someone for the first time, even an enemy. Lakrissa is sure they’re all going to get slaughtered and is willing to put money on that fact. Meanwhile, the couple you meet are more concerned with what pet they’ll get when they somehow, someway, make it to the city. Don't worry about how that'll happen. You learn later that even those like Ronan are small potatoes compared to most of the baddies you’ll face. On paper he looks and sounds like the real deal—dressed in robes, talking up an apprenticeship with the famous Lorroakan—but scenes like the celebration light show and his own fury at needing to be saved, again, highlight how far he still has to go. The point is that Zevlor is right: these aren’t fighters and he at 18 strength, paladin, former commander, is definitely the exception.

However, BG3 is the sort of detail-heavy game where I’d expect them to include that exception in the dialogue. “We can’t stay, but we’ll be slaughtered if we leave—these people aren’t fighters.” Zevlor’s inclusion of himself in this assessment continued to nag at me and it didn’t start to make sense until I delved into his tag here on tumblr, with more patient players than myself posting everything there is to know about the tiefling. (Thanks, all.) Zevlor is fascinating to me in part because he has this contradictory nature, one example of which is that he’s a very talented fighter who desperately doesn’t want to be a fighter anymore.

…but also he totally does.

We overhear in his dialogue to Tilses that Zevlor is adamant about shedding the titles he’s earned through combat: Hellrider, Commander, Sir. He insists that they’re just civilians now and it’s not like he’s being disingenuous here—note that he introduces himself as just “Zevlor” to Tav. Zevlor means what he says to Tilses and we can see that he’s trying to both reinforce his point and lesson the blow by referring to her as “Tilly.” The nickname is a sweet one, hinting at their close bond in just a single word, reminding her that he’s not saying this to hurt her, he cares for her… but the nickname is simultaneously something he never would have used as her commander. The intimacy meant to comfort is also a hard blow to weather. They're now people who use nicknames inappropriate for the hierarchy of battle.

So Zevlor means what he says here, means it enough that Tilses is convinced and drops her use of “Commander,” but there’s definitely a hint of bitterness in his voice. At least, I’ve always heard it. Zevlor is steadfast in his conviction here, even going so far as to say, “I’m done soldiering, Tilly” when discussing what will come next at Baldur’s Gate. Yet for all of that his tone conveys (understandable) anger and disappointment that it’s come to this. Zevlor doesn’t act like someone who truly wants this change, but rather someone who’s been forced to accept it.

Is it outside forces unwillingly influencing him then? Did Avernus truly change things irrevocably? No, not really. At least, not in the way Zevlor likes to claim. Tilses herself states that being a Hellrider is for life; nothing can take away that title. You lost your post? Your whole city? Most of the people under your protection? Doesn’t matter! You’re a Hellrider forever, no matter the circumstances. I can easily picture a time in Zevlor's life where he would have agreed with Tilses wholeheartedly. They are Hellriders, dammit, and so long as there’s one person looking for their help they will wield that title alongside their blades. And right now, Zevlor has a lot more than just one person in need of his assistance.

So it’s not that Avernus truly stripped them of that identity. Nothing can do that. Zevlor is not rejecting titles and planning retirement because the mechanisms of fate are forcing him to.

He’s doing all that because he’s lost confidence in himself.

Even as someone with a shaky understanding of DnD classes, I love the parallel between a broken oath and the rejection of a lifelong title. If Zevlor can fail in his oath—or in his faith entirely, according to the memories stemming from his pod—why-ever would he think that any other ‘permanent’ part of his identity was worth fighting for? If you can loose the very thing you’ve built your entire life around, every important aspect of yourself, tied to your very soul… what’s a bestowed title compared to that? Zevlor doesn’t believe himself worthy of being a Hellrider anymore, but I think that goes deeper than a string of horrific circumstances making him feel incompetent. As an Oathbreaker, Zevlor likely believes that if he couldn’t uphold that, he can’t uphold anything. Calling himself a Hellrider would be a lie. A fiction. A pathetic, dangerous, insulting fiction at that. It’s like calling yourself the “Hero” while continually failing those around you. Sure, others might insist it’s a title you’ve earned, one you will always carry with you, but you don’t believe them anymore and at a certain point calling yourself that feels worse than embracing the title of “Villain." You don’t want to be the villain… but you want to pretend you’re the hero even less. Pretending is exhausting.

We see this struggle in the many ways that Zevlor fails, or almost fails, to uphold the ideals that originally guided him. I use the term “villain” above deliberately because Zevlor is not merely a former hero-type who’s self confidence has been shattered, or who has been reduced to a civilian, or who thinks themselves useless; he’s actively fighting against temptations that, under less stressful situations, he’d never even consider. I don’t think he is a villain, I think he’s a flawed, struggling victim who sees his own, inevitable mistakes as villainous—and the longer that warped perspective continues the easier it is to fall into bad behaviors. This cycle is perfectly summarized in the autobiography Zevlor keeps by his bed:

“When every passer-by thinks you a thief and a heretic, it is deeply tempting to become one.”

We don’t know if this is Zevlor’s autobiography (as far as I’m aware, anyway) but even if it’s not the words have clearly resonated enough for him to keep them nearby. This particular line paints a pretty clear picture of Zevlor’s struggle. If everyone you meet says you’re devil-kin, vermin, or would-be criminal, isn’t it easier to just give them what they want? If you can’t persuade them otherwise, why put in the effort of trying? If he can’t be Faithful to his God, why have faith in anything at all? If he can’t save these people—setback after setback, mistake after mistake—why is he even making the effort?

Zevlor obviously is trying, very, very hard, which is why such thoughts are merely temptations rather than actual, questionable actions. Still, the Grove gives us numerous examples of the precipice he’s balanced on—and the ways Tav can tip him in one direction or another. You can talk Zevlor down from his anger and get him to acknowledge his disgust in nearly sinking to Aradin’s level. You can also let him boil over and punch the human at a time when the last thing anyone needs is more violence. You can convince Zevlor that there are peaceful ways of stopping Kagha's ritual, or you can help him in pursuing the darker temptation to kill her. It’s a “low” thought, but at his own admission he hasn’t been above entertaining it. Zevlor’s requests for help, though always polite and humble, carry a spark of manipulation in them too. He’s not above leveraging your previously selfless good deed to his advantage—"She owes you for saving this grove"—and if you approach him before speaking with Kagha he’ll claim that the ritual will “be trouble—for all of us.” Except, no? Not really? Tav can make it clear that they’re just here for a healer, they’re only passing through, and as a fighter they are not beholden to the Grove’s sanctuary as the teiflings are. It’s not trouble for everyone involved, yet Zevlor frames it as such in the hopes that (unnecessary) self-interest may motivate you if selflessness fails. Finally, if Zevlor dies in your play-through and you use Speak the Dead on him, he will admit to having “plenty” of secrets, none of which he’ll share. Admittedly, this may be the result of cut content, specifically a story-line in which Zevlor knowingly betrays the tieflings rather than being tricked by the Absolute. Still, the game as it stands is the story we have and within it we’re given a man who is both fighting against these dark urges (ha) and has a past riddled with secrets. If Zevlor is anything, it’s blunt when it comes to his own failings, accurate and otherwise. So how terrible must these secrets be that he outright refuses to divulge them when, generally speaking, most corpses speak freely in death?

However, out of all of this the struggle I’m most intrigued by is the one surrounding the gate. Zevlor represents the tieflings: persecuted refugees, vulnerable civilians, people seeking to survive through cooperation, specifically by joining a community. Kagha represents the druids (or at least a vocal subset of them in Halsin’s absence): bigoted individuals, powerful fighters, people seeking to survive by giving in to their fears, specifically by keeping themselves isolated. This is the moral dichotomy of the Grove and it is symbolized through the gate. Zevlor wants to open it to everyone whereas Kagha wants to close it, permanently.

So isn’t it odd that Zevlor is the one ordering it shut?

When the scene first starts Kanon shouts down that no, he won’t open the gate. Zevlor said that no one is allowed in. Notably, he’s saying this to Aradin and his crew, people that the Grove is at least passingly familiar with, given that Halsin left with them to search the temple. It’s also notable that Zevlor isn’t expecting goblins to attack the Grove. He’s shocked that this is suddenly a problem, brought about by Aradin’s decision—“You lead them here?”— and the entire point of staying at the Grove is that it’s at least comparatively safe. Yes, there have been more attacks lately, but Zevlor seems to be relying on the Grove’s relatively unknown location, as well as the fact that goblins are normally disorganized. The safety is only compromised because Aradin brought a hunting party back, so Zevlor has no reason to expect any visitors, let alone ones that would be a threat.

More importantly, he should welcome such visitors even if he did expect them. After all, that’s precisely what the tieflings are: strangers with no ulterior motives other than to survive. Broadly speaking it makes perfect sense why he'd shut the gates. Zevlor’s first priority is to his people, so anything that keeps them safe is, theoretically, a good thing. But through the lens of his specific characterization and this specific, moral dilemma, it’s an awfully hypocritical decision. Based on everything we’ve seen, our party would not have been welcomed by Zevlor if we’d arrived without danger on our heels and a rescue to endear him to us. So his people should be welcomed, trusted, kept safe, given the benefit of the doubt… but Zevlor isn’t necessarily willing to extend that same trust to others. At the end of the day, he and Kagha want a version of the same thing: safety for those they deem are worthy of it.

It’s precisely these flaws and temptations that make Zevlor such a great character to me, even before he’s tricked by the Absolute. The fandom has leaned hard into Zevlor’s self-loathing and let me tell you, I love it (kisses, hugs, and cookies for you all), but canonically I think he has more reason to fear himself than we tend to portray in the H/C fics. I’m not saying he’s a bad person. Rather, it’s precisely because Zevlor is such a good person that he has the capacity to fall so far. It’s his all-consuming desire to protect his family that leads Zevlor to do and consider so much that a paladin would normally balk at. Denying others the safety you’ve been granted. Subtly manipulating others to do your dirty work. Considering murder.

Zevlor is someone torn between doing the Right Thing and the thing he believes will help those under his care survive. Importantly, when we first meet him he considers these to be two separate courses of action. So can you imagine what goes through his head when he first sees Tav saving everyone and doing so righteously? I think it’s integral to Zevlor’s characterization that the game all but forces you to play the Good Guy in that initial encounter. A cut scene starts, you’re thrown into combat immediately afterwards, and unless you plan to start attacking the Grove members alongside the goblins (which the mechanics discourage through the coloring that distinguishes enemies from allies) you will always finish this fight as Zevlor’s hero. Sure, you can be an asshole afterwards and demand payment. You could already be plotting your betrayal and the slaughter of all the refugees. But in this moment you are nothing but a miracle made flesh in his eyes. Right from the start Tav is succeeding in all the ways Zevlor feels like he's failed. You're the hero.

More specifically, you’re an Every-Man Hero. We might have epic backstories for our Tavs, but within confines of the game you’re largely a nobody when not playing an Origin character. How powerful must that have been to witness then? A total stranger, someone who has no ties to the tieflings or even, depending on your class, any sworn reason to help others, putting their life on the line to save what is most precious to Zevlor? I think a lot about the fact that he never asks Wyll to step in and try to change Kagha’s mind. She owes him just as much as she does Tav—Wyll is an equal participant in that fight and, if your shoddy play style is anything like mine, he likely did more damage—and Wyll is clearly invested in the tiefling’s survival, training the kids as he is. Now, obviously Zevlor’s reticence is largely a question of assigned roles (we need to be the one engaging with Kagha because we’re the protagonist/player) but, like Zevlor’s choice to include himself in the Not a Fighter group, it would have been all too easy to explain this away within the narrative. One comment about how Wyll already tried and failed, or how Kagha doesn’t trust Warlocks, or hell, maybe you don’t meet Wyll in the Grove at all. It’s an easy thing to accomplish and though this is edging more into the realm of headcanon than anything else, I can’t help but think that Wyll isn’t the kind of person that Zevlor could turn to for help right now. Because he’s a folk hero. The Blade of Frontiers, known far and wide for his impressive, selfless deeds. Zevlor is struggling so hard to keep the tieflings safe, tempted by all the unsavory solutions that might achieve that, drowning in self-hatred as his past and current failings catch up with him, wanting nothing more than to be his peoples’ protector:

“I would be a paladin again—with a god’s purpose, a god’s power. Everything I needed to protect my people. And all the while, the cult tortured them. They fought, and ran, and died around me, while I imagined myself their savior.”

Three of the things Zevlor mutters while trapped in the pod are “Hellrider… for… life…,” “Trust… in me…,” and “Children… look away… look at me…” He wants to be the protector, the one children look to for reassurance, he wants his words to Tilly to be a lie and he wants a way to prove that he is a Hellrider for life… but he’s not. At least, Zevlor doesn’t believe it. He lost his titles while Wyll still proudly bears his. Wyll trains the children to fight while Zevlor can only get swept up in anger at them being threatened. The people trust Wyll, adore him, he’s the hero and Zevlor… is not. Not anymore.

It’s too painful to approach Wyll and admit all that. That would be a hell of a blow to Zevlor's pride. But Tav? A stranger? A nobody? The Every-man who had no reason to help or reputation pressuring them, saving them anyway? That’s inspiring. Someone like Tav could be the answer and even, perhaps, the proof that Zevlor could redeem himself. Neither of them are folk heroes, untouchable in their assumed perfection. Tav is a living, breathing example of how the flawed, everyday adventurer can be everything Zevlor strives for.

No wonder he won’t shut up about them in the Shadowlands.

All of this is why it’s so tragic that Zevlor wasn’t given a redemption arc. Sure, you can recruit him for the final battle against the Netherbrain, but there’s no quest to change the cast’s opinion of him—or change Zevlor’s opinion of himself. All his content at the end of Act 2 and Act 3 reinforces that self-hatred.

Let’s make a list, shall we?

Nearly every line of his reunion with Tav has Zevlor painting himself in the worst light possible, from “a lie kinder than the truth” to his refusal to join you because he believes he’ll stab you in the back. You cannot convince him of the Absolute’s manipulation and there’s no response to his belief that such horrors start within the person like, “Of course it does! Because we’re all flawed and equally capable of good and evil deeds! That potential doesn’t make you irredeemable, Zevlor, it makes you mortal!!”

He’s utterly failed as his peoples’ champion and he’s also deemed “unworthy” of being a True Soul. Obviously not being chosen by the Absolute is a good thing, but for a man drowning in self-loathing that’s one hell of a complicated rejection.

Nearly all the tieflings hate him now, all those people he’s been sacrificing his soul to keep safe. I found it particularly devastating that this is one of the rare occasions where nailing a persuasion check doesn’t change the person’s mind. There’s at least one tiefling at Moonrise (I’m drawing a blank on her name) who will believe you when you explain how the Absolute influenced Zevlor, but that doesn’t lead to forgiveness.

Zevlor is deemed unimportant on a literal, narrative level. He is very easy to miss in the pods (I nearly did on my first play-through) and the game does incredibly little to dissuade you from that mistake. Putting aside for a moment that obviously an Origin companion is more significant than a minor NPC, compare this to Shadowheart screaming from her own pod, the game making it abundantly clear that this is someone in need of help—someone worth rescuing. She’ll even say later that you could have run past, more concerned with your own survival and the big picture heroics to bother with her. How must it feel then, if Zevlor ever learns that Tav was there and never stopped for him?

If you do miss Zevlor… oh boy. We’ve probably all seen at least a recording of Orin’s so-called gift. There are plenty of characters who can meet untimely and devastating ends, but very few go through this level of horror. Zevlor—after being held captive, remember—is tortured by God’s Favorite Torturer. He is stripped of his personhood and reduced to a mere “message,” a “pet.” Zevlor is further humiliated in death by being literally stripped of his armor—not just vulnerable in his nakedness, but denied the last symbol of his faith, his status, his power—and it’s always struck me that this is the closest we see to him 'enjoying' an intimate moment, this parody in Orin’s painting. Zevlor is one of the NPC’s most in need of physical comfort and instead he’s forced into this torturous mockery of a sex scene. It also hits hard that when Tav first spots his body the narration says that Zevlor “might almost be sleeping.” Undoubtedly this is a man who isn’t taking good care of himself. He needs a good night’s rest, yet this horrifying trick is all he gets.

As if all this weren’t enough, most of your companion are VERY critical of Zevlor while commenting on his demise. It’s one thing for the tieflings to believe the worst given their ignorance and the fact that they are the ones who suffered from Zevlor’s failure, but your company understands the Absolute and the ways that she gets her hooks in people. Still, Astarion calls him a “wet rag” even if he did deserve better than this. Shadowheart wouldn’t have wished this on him either, but she can’t help but slip in a “no matter his failings.” Lae’zel, often the most blunt, straight up says that he was “always destined to fail his people—and to fail us.” Wyll shakes his head and intones that “even good intentions can lead us down deadly paths.” Only Gale and Karlach stick to mourning the dead rather than airing his shortcomings.

When I spoke to my allies before the final battle Zevlor didn’t have a cut scene. It became clear to me later that this must have been a bug in my play-through, but at the time it only reinforced my feelings that his story was incomplete. Looking on Youtube I’ve found recordings of him saying that he is a Hellrider once more and he would “die a proud man if [he] were to die this day”… but that rings as terribly hollow given where we left him. Last we were together, Zevlor was saying in no uncertain terms that he could not be trusted, he would fail again, he was unworthy of forgiveness. Where did this change of heart come from? It makes perfect sense that he would help Tav in this moment—he begs to be of some use after getting free—but not that he would present himself with such confidence. Within the story as it’s been told this feels… fake. Like Zevlor is putting on a mask to fit the mood of this lively, optimistic party. Which, in turn, gives the “I would die a proud man” line a terrifying implication to me. Does Zevlor expect to die this day? Does he intend to? What would persuade him not to lay down his life here and now? His mission is complete. The tieflings are safe—though not by his hand. There's no hero's welcome waiting for him after this battle. They hate him. He hates himself, and by his own admission the one thing that could still make him proud would be to die at Tav’s side, trying to do one last bit of good. If someone said that to me after everything Zevlor has been through I would keep them far away from the front lines.

(I did, for the record lol.)

I’m not saying anything new then when I go, “Larian, PLEASE add more to his story.” Give us a Zevlor side-quest to renew his oath. Let us invite him to our camp. Something to link the broken man mid-game and the confident fighter at the end so that the latter doesn’t feel like an alarm bell with two legs and a tail. I mean yeah, I get hooked on minor characters so 75% of this is simply me wanting more content of a fave, but I also I do legitimately believe that BG3’s story would benefit from tying up loose ends like this.

Zevlor is a fantastic character, someone who contains an astounding amount of complexity for so little screen time. You have to follow up on that complexity though. If he’s meant to be a purely tragic figure, okay, fine, that’s the ending you get with Orin. But one where he joins you with a smile and reclaims a title he's previously rejected with such fervor requires more work in the middle; a through-line that explains how someone with so much self-loathing learns to think of himself as the hero again.

Because it does all come down to Zevlor’s perception of himself. He was always a hero, flaws and all. He always was and always will be a Hellrider.

The UI knows what's up :)

[ivelle-serenity]

Skateboard 9

Wind breaker

fem bodied reader | smut | action | pwp | jayjo/fml | vinny/fml | wooin/fml | joker/fml | hyuk/fml | owen/fml | enemies to lovers | angsty | the other woman (?) | reverse harem | fluff | SLOW BURN! | all characters featured are 18+

author's note: thank you for supporting my story! i will try my best to update early.

✧˖° — windbreaker men

✧˖° — mdni, smut, description of not safe for work content.

✧˖° — this is a story not one shot.

"They're not using me! They're just asking for my help," I protested.

"And you agreed?" Wooin's tone was almost mocking, laden with insult, making my chest feel even heavier. Why do I feel like I'm being cornered?

"The famous Demitra Roberts, agreeing to be a replacement for an old friend—or should I say an old enemy?" Wooin's face darkened as he spoke. I could hear the sarcasm in his voice. I glared at him.

"Who would imagine you'd agree to replace the woman who was your enemy for so long?" he added, this time laughing.

"Shut the fuck up." I stepped closer to him. "You don't know what you're talking about. Don't act like you know me, so shut your mouth!" my eyes flaring with anger.

"But I do... We all do!" he said with a laugh that shocked me even more. My heart sank at his words.

I looked down and clenched my fists. He knows something—no, they all do. Why am I still surprised? They must have done a background check on me. They might even know my other secrets. It's disheartening to think about. Wooin approached and held my face, forcing me to look up at him. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, and a familiar pain in my heart. Why am I feeling this again?

"They don't see you as their friend, Demitra," Joker said firmly. I couldn't look at him because Wooin was right in front of me. His eyes were full of amusement, as if my tears were something fascinating.

"For them, you're just a shadow of Shelly. They don't need you. Jay is just fooling you while he waits for his pathetic girlfriend," Hyuk said with disgust.

Why do they have to mention Jay? What else do they know?

"S-So what? I don't even like him, so why would it matter--"

"Yes, you should not," Joker said, as if warning me.

"But don't you hate being compared to her?" Wooin said with a grin. Horror plastered on my face. The tears I had been holding back started to flow.

Please, stop it already. I can't hear it anymore.

"How dare they use you? You're a legend, like us. You're a fucking Princess." He shouldn't use my underground title like that. I've been trying so hard to forget the title given to me back when I was greedy for money. It was all supposed to be in the past. I should be leaving it behind, but what are they doing? They keep bringing it up!

"They don't deserve you. A princess like you should be respected," he said seriously, squeezing my cheeks harder.

"Maybe she just wants to be treated like trash," Hyuk's insult stung, making me feel even worse. I saw a strange look in Wooin's eyes.

"Hyuk," he warned his friend, but Hyuk just shrugged.

My tears flowed freely, making Wooin pause. He immediately let go of me. My whole body trembled from the tension. I nearly collapsed, but Joker caught me for the second time, holding me by the waist. He gave Joker a significant look before I felt Joker's fingers wrap around my neck from behind.

Wooin smiled at the sight he saw. Joker made me face Wooin by wrapping his fingers around my neck and waist. I clenched my fist as Wooin approached me and wiped my cheeks.

"You're mine, do you understand?" he whispered as he looked at me. I could feel the possessiveness in his tone. "You belong to us. We have the right to tell you to stay away from those jerks, especially Jay. They're all losers." he said softly.

Joker's grip tightened but not enough to make me lose my breath. "Can't you see how much we want you, Demitra? Can't you see how much we adore you?" he whispered in my ear. "No? Does Hajun's cock doesn't ring a bell?" After Wooin's words, I felt a strange sensation pressing against me from behind. It didn't take long to realize that it was Joker's erection, rubbing against my body.

Realization dawned on me - they all wanted me. It was a truth that I couldn't ignore. The heat between my thighs grew as the possessiveness in Wooin's words sunk in.

"And you know, I wouldn't mind sharing him," Wooin said, a smirk playing on his lips.

Confusion clouded my mind as I tried to comprehend his words.

Before I could react, Wooin leaned in and kissed Joker beside me.  I watched as he inserted his tongue into Joker's mouth and played with it. I blushed at the sight. This only intensified the heat spreading through my body.

I couldn't quite catch Joker's reaction as Wooin released his grip on him. But what I did see was Wooin licking his lips seductively, shooting Joker a teasing look. And then, I heard Joker mutter a curse under his breath, a clear sign that things were heating up between them.

"Don't be jealous, princess. He could be yours too. But first, you have to be mine," Wooin stated, his thumb grazing my lips.

Stunned, I felt Wooin's lips on mine, his kiss filled with passion and possessiveness. I closed my eyes, feeling a rush of emotions as Joker's kisses trailed along my neck. Lost in the moment, I gave in to the intensity of their desires, unable to resist the pull they had on me. They made me feel special and important in a way I had never experienced before.

Joker bit a sensitive spot on my neck, causing me to let out a moan. Wooin's tongue swirled with mine as his hands roamed all over my body. I gasped when I felt him cupping my breast. The way he touched me let me know he was experienced in this. I could feel how wet I was getting, and Wooin seemed to notice as he paused his actions while Joker continued to give me small kisses on the back of my neck.

"Join us," he insisted again. "Join us and we'll fuck you until you forget everything else." his voice was deep and filled with danger.

I looked at Hyuk, who was just standing there watching us with a stern look. Was he in on this too?

"He wants you just like we do. He's just making sure you'll agree to our conditions." Wooin chuckled.

I shook my head. "No," I said firmly, giving him a sharp look. "I don't want to join your group. And don't make me one of your whores, Wooin." I said definitively.

His expression turned blank. After I spoke, even Joker paused but remained silent. I watched as Wooin clenched his jaw in disbelief and anger.

"Yeah?" he retorted sarcastically. "Then you leave me with no choice. You're going to stay here until tomorrow. You will not fucking race with them."

My eyes widened in shock. He can't do that!

"You can't confine me here."

"The hell I can't."

My eyes burned with anger. I had never felt this furious in my entire life. How dare he do this to me? Okay, I know it's my fault for lying to them about joining Hummingbird, but they don't need to interfere with my decisions. I have my own life.

I watched Wooin move away from me and drink his wine in one gulp. He exchanged a look with Hyuk before leaving the room. I was about to follow him when Joker tightened his grip on my waist.

"Stop, you’re just making it worse," Joker murmured.

"Worse? Isn't locking me up here bad enough?" I snapped at him, trying to pry his hands off my waist.

"Why do you want to be with them so badly?" Hyuk said sarcastically, walking closer to me.

"It's not like that. I promised I would help them—"

"Stupid," he shook his head. "You’re so stupid. Wooin just explained everything earlier, but you didn’t listen. You know what? We don’t even need you here. You’ll just be useless with that brain of yours. You’re nothing but a toy to fuck with."

My face flushed with anger and humiliation. I slapped him. Joker quickly stepped between us. I felt the heat from my eyes, tears threatening to fall again. I couldn't believe Wooin said Hyuk liked me when he was treating me like this. I didn’t say anything and let Joker handle him.

Just by looking at them, I could tell they were arguing. Even though part of me wanted Joker to put Hyuk in his place, I didn’t want it to turn into a physical fight.

“You’ve crossed the line. Do it again, and you’ll have to deal with me,” I heard Joker warn him.

“Who do you think you’re scaring, Joker?”

"I'm not scaring you, I'm warning you.” Joker roughly grabbed Hyuk by the collar, and I immediately grabbed Joker's arm. I didn’t want to see them hurt each other! I knew all too well how Joker fought. He’s a boxer, for heaven's sake.

Their attention shifted to me. Hyuk just scoffed before pushing Joker away. I watched Hyuk leave, feeling a wave of relief wash over me. I looked at Joker, who was still staring at me. I rolled my eyes and sat down on the sofa. I wiped my cheek, not wanting to show him how much his friend's words had affected me. It hit me that Joker was the only one who had been kind to me, unlike the other members of his crew. I had made Wooin angry, and now Hyuk too. Were they really that mad at the Hummingbird that they took it out on me too?

“Your friends are assholes,” I muttered.

He didn’t respond.

“I know Wooin is just playing with me. There’s no way you all wanted me like he said. Do you even see how they treat me?” I almost laughed as I grabbed the bottle of expensive liquor from the table. “Maybe this is all part of your plan with Sangho, huh? Maybe you want me close just to hand me over to him.”

I was about to take a swig from the bottle when he snatched it away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said coldly.

“Liar,” I shot back.

He set the bottle down on the table and took off his denim jacket, looking overheated.

“We want you, and we’re not lying about that.” His words seemed to etch themselves into my mind.

“You just want to fuck me,” I said quickly, making him stop. He lifted his gaze, then let it travel down my body. I was still wearing my uniform—nothing revealing, just my P.E. outfit.

“Not just me,” he replied, turning away after he said it. My lips parted in shock.

[spqcebunsforever]

What we have in common

Pairings: Hazbin Hotel Adam x Angel reader, a Little bit of Lucifer x Angel Y/n at the start

Summary: Angel Y/n realizes that she and the first man Adam might have a little more in common than she thought.

Y/n's Pov (Before Lucifer fell)

(FLASHBACK)

I believed that when I had met him I had met the one. Me and Lucifer had met when I had bumped into him while we were both flying around. I was immediately charmed by his laugh his smile his way with words it was like speaking to someone who you knew was going to stick around and love you forever. Everything felt like it was going my way and I couldn't be happier he had told me that he loved me and that we were made to be together. I had never felt like I belonged more than I did at that moment believing every word that Lucifer had said like it was holy text but everything started turning sour when Lucifer started going down to the Garden of Eden. He had told me that he wanted to go down and just see how the humans were getting along and how different they were from us. And at the start, it was okay he would come back and tell me all about the humans and how fascinating they were and how much they looked like us just without wings, and how at this stage they were so pure and innocent.

But the more he went down the more I suddenly felt him drift away from me. He would come back and refuse to talk to me or just tell me he was too tired to talk it was hurting me and I started believing that I had done something to push him away. So one night after he had come back from Eden I decided that I wasn't going to leave him alone until I got an answer on what was going on. "Have I done something to anger you, Luci?" He just looked at me then he looked at the ground "No why would you think that" He tried to move past me but I stood my ground "Because you've changed we used to do stuff me and you but now we barely see each other your always down at Eden looking at those humans and when you come back you refuse to talk or look at me". He again looked at the floor but this time he took a deep breath and finally looked me in the eyes. "I can't lie to you anymore Y/n I've fallen for the human Lilith she just...completes me and I truly believe that we are soulmates". I didn't know what I was expecting to hear but that wasn't it. I felt tears well up in my eyes "But...you said we were soulmates, you said you loved me. you... you can't just leave me for this...other woman Lucifer we are supposed to be the ones truly in love".

Lucifer again took a deep breath clearly trying to stay as calm and collected as possible. "Y/n why can't you understand you are the other woman... I don't love you anymore please forgive me Y/n I... I never meant to hurt you but..." I let my tears fall down my cheeks out of anyone that he could have fallen for it had to be the human. "So what all the I love yous before you left every morning just meant nothing to you they were just empty lies and every morning after saying you loved me you would go see her and love her!". He again looked at the ground not saying anything I had loved this man more than anything and I thought he had loved me back. "Just go Lucifer please just...go". He tried to again apologize but I shut him down just telling him to leave I didn't even want to see him anymore I was too hurt. After a few seconds, he flew off and the minute that he had left my view I fell to my knees and sobbed I couldn't believe that in his eyes I had just been the woman that he needed to escape so he could be with the one he really wanted. I felt nothing but complete heartbreak.

(PRESENT DAY)

It had been a couple of months since Lucifer had left me for Lilith and to say I wasn't still heartbroken would be a lie but I had tried my best to move on. But I had heard through some Angels that Lucifer and Lilith had both been thrown down to a place called hell because they had convinced a human named Eve to eat a forbidden apple or something like that giving humans free will. I knew that the human Adam had recently passed away and had joined us up here in heaven but I hadn't seen him. But I wasn't sure what had happened to Eve lots of angels believed because she took the forbidden apple she was to be sent to hell but we were never really sure.

I had been sitting on a ledge in heaven that I normally sit on when I want to be alone and watch the sunset because not many people knew about it but that peace and quiet when I heard someone behind me clearly having some sort of trouble by the number of curse words they were using so I turned around to see what was happening and that's when I saw him. It was the first man who was clearly having trouble getting used to his wings but then I didn't blame him all of this stuff must be very new and confusing to him.

"Are you okay over there?". He jumped a little clearly he hadn't noticed me but he then put on an overconfident smile. "Yup I'm a natural at this babe so I'm completely fine just a little wind you know completely threw me off so technically wind fault that I mucked up". I couldn't help but smile at his explanation clearly trying to show off but I didn't mind. "Hmm yeah, I guess you're right the wind has been a little heavier recently" We both knew I was lying heaven has the perfect weather every day but he must have liked that I had played along because he started walking closer to me. "Yeah sucks but hey my name is Adam I'm actually the.." before he could continue I finished off his sentence for him "The first man yes I know I've heard lots of angels talk about you and how you got into heaven". He looked at me a little shocked but then sat down next to me. "It's so weird having people already know me before they've met me I feel like everyone is talking about me right now and it's kinda making me nervous you know like I just got here and people are bombarding me with questions and stuff".

"Well to be fair Adam you were the first man ever created you are special God created you so no wonder everyone is talking about you and until now we hadn't realized that human souls can get into heaven so now you are also the first human soul to enter heaven". He just sat there looking forward at the sunset muttering the words "Special" and "First man" but then he suddenly looked at me and gave me a small smile. "So what's your deal why are you sitting here all alone would think angels would be hanging out with each other and all that crap". I just shrugged my shoulder "I normally do but I come out here when I want to think and reminisce". He looked at me a little confused "reminisce about what?" I looked forward to the sunset not wanting to make eye contact with him "I had a love I believed that he was the one you know perfect fit but I soon found out that he loved a human and left me for her they got what they deserved but what can I say it hurt Lucifer his name was". Then that's when I remembered who I was talking to another human who knew Lilith and was also her husband but before I could turn around and apologize he stared talking.

"Yeah, she hurt me too I loved her I really did but yeah she left me for that fucker said that I wasn't good enough anymore and that she loved him more than I got Eve and then she cheated on me with him...it was like I couldn't win you know". For the first time, I had never really thought that Lilith would have had to leave Adam to be with Lucifer so I never had thought about how he would have felt about the whole thing but now seeing his face and the pain that was written on it I knew he was going through the exact thing I was going through. "It does hurt and I'm so sorry that happened to you, you never deserved that" We were now both looking at each other and I grabbed his hand wanting in some way to comfort him. "Meh well like you said they got what they deserved they are now both in a horrible place and it should stay that way what they both get for hurting us". I nodded agreeing with everything that he was saying. Continuing to hold each other's hand we sat and watched the sunset again in silence until I started talking. "You know if you would like I can help you get better at flying it will take a bit of practice but once you get the hang of it it's one of the best things to do". Adam nodded and smiled "Yeah I would like that just as long as you don't tell anyone because I don't want them to think that I can't fly". I put my hand on my heart and swore "I promise I won't tell a soul it stays between me and you"

Adam smiled "You know I think I get what you mean by sitting here by yourself it's nice and calming we should totally make it our special place". I just looked at him "Our special place?" He then sat up a bit straighter "Yeah you know only me and you can come here and we can tell each other stuff and if we feel shit we can talk to each other about it and look at the sunset with each other like our little getaway it would be so cool so what do you say me and you from now on no more sitting by yourself!" I just nodded while smiling he was definitely different but I liked that and it was nice to have someone who understood and wanted to spend time with me...I wasn't alone anymore and I felt happy.

But little did I know that later in the future I would be sitting alone on the ledge again but this time I would have a broken mask in my hands and I would again be sobbing.

[dioslesbianwife]

How whoud the Jojo's react to a female killua

Her running away because she doesn't want to be a assassin and how she helps them and just wants to live a normal life like them (they don't have a normal life but it do be like that ) .

They can still see how she grew up as a assassin silent steps high pain tolerance sharp nails.

ooh cool idea- i actually have an oc in my head thats almost exactly like this, heavily inspired by killua haha, anyways hope you enjoy this and thank u for requesting!

Jonathan Joestar

Jonathan would be extremely sympathetic to your situation. He believes everyone deserves a chance to choose their own life, and he admires your strength in running away from that dark world.

He’s protective but not in a way that undermines your abilities, he respects that you can handle yourself.

Even if you try to act normal, he easily picks up on the way you move- silent, calculated. It makes him sad to think you had to grow up like that.

Joseph Joestar

Joseph is blown away by your skills and definitely tries to hype you up. “You can dodge all my tricks? Damn, that’s awesome!”

He’d jokingly call you his “secret weapon” and ask you to teach him some assassin tricks, but deep down, he respects that you want a normal life and won’t push you.

He can tell that under your cool exterior, you just want to belong somewhere safe, and he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you feel at home.

Jotaro Kujo

Jotaro doesn’t say much at first, but he notices everything- how you move soundlessly, how you react a little too fast to danger, how you flinch slightly when someone moves unexpectedly.

He doesn’t judge you for it, though. If anything, he respects you even more. He’s also someone who had to grow up fast, so he gets it.

If anyone from your past comes looking for you, he’ll step in before you can even react. “She doesn’t want anything to do with you.” No argument.

He won’t say it outright, but he makes sure you feel like part of the group, so you don’t have to face things alone anymore.

Josuke Higashikata

Josuke is initially a little intimidated by your past- “Wait, you were raised as an assassin?!”- but that quickly turns into admiration.

He’s got a huge protective streak, so even though he knows you can handle yourself, he still worries about you.

If you ever get hurt, he will heal you with Crazy Diamond, no questions asked. Even if you insist you’re fine, he’ll say, “You don’t have to be tough all the time, y’know.”

Loves when you open up to him about wanting a normal life. He might not have one himself, but he’ll encourage you to find your own happiness however you can.

Giorno Giovanna

Giorno completely understands wanting to escape a dark past. He might not have been raised as an assassin, but he knows what it’s like to grow up in a world of violence.

He acknowledges your assassin skills but never treats you like a weapon, only as a person.

If you ever start doubting whether you can truly be normal, he tells you, “The past doesn’t define you. You’re more than what they made you to be.”

He actually finds your abilities useful for taking down enemies, but he never forces you into a fight. He respects your choice to step away from that life.

Jolyne Cujoh

Jolyne is instantly intrigued by you. “So you’re basically a ninja? That’s so sick.”

She has no problem with your past because she knows better than anyone that people aren’t defined by where they came from. She sees you for you, not just as an ex-assassin.

If you struggle with opening up, she’ll be patient but also blunt, “Look, you don’t have to act all tough around me. If you need to talk, I’m here.”

She gets that you want to live a normal life, and even though her life is anything but normal, she’ll support you in any way she can.

Johnny Joestar

Johnny is fascinated by you but also a little wary at first. “You’re really that fast?” He doesn’t doubt you, but he’s surprised by how effortlessly you dodge attacks.

He can relate to feeling trapped by your past, but his first instinct isn’t to comfort- it’s to observe. He watches how you interact with people, how you move. Eventually, he realizes you just want what he does, peace.

If you ever feel like you can’t escape your past, he reminds you, “If I can change, so can you. Don’t let them pull you back.”

He respects your abilities but doesn’t push you to use them. Instead, he just treats you like any other person, which he figures is what you really want.

Josuke Higashikata (Gappy)

This Josuke is a little more reserved, but he finds your story really interesting. He asks a lot of questions- not in a prying way, but just out of curiosity.

He might not fully understand what being raised as an assassin is like, but he gets what it’s like to not have control over your own life.

If you ever get frustrated about not being able to just be normal, he reassures you, “Hey, normal is overrated anyway. Just be yourself.”

Lowkey loves how skilled you are but never makes you feel like you have to fight. If anything, he’d rather you not have to use those skills at all.

[gffa]

Absolutely FASCINATED with what's going on with Jason in Battle for the Cowl. I think it's really clear that the writers at this point in time don't have any sense of how he fits into the story other than as a cardboard prop to have conflict with, so Dick has to step up and take over the role of Batman, lest Jason keep running around out there with guns and pretending to be him. But that I think you can still pull something extremely interesting out of what's going on with him, because a few pages earlier, he has this whole monologue in his head:

That everything he interprets of Bruce's decisions are a huge amount of projection--he didn't take in Dick because he wanted to save that kid or help him, it was because he was recruiting him, because it was about Bruce wanting to use Dick to keep himself from madness. That he took Jason in, not because he wanted to help him, but because Batman saw him as a future enemy. That Jason sees Batman as not killing as a huge flaw and it's not directly connected to anything, kind of coming off like the writer just wants Jason to be a villain because he's a villain, not because he has any deeper motivations, but it starts to really read like Jason thinks Batman should kill because he wanted Bruce to kill the Joker. And then Jason swats Damian away, who is no longer a threat at this point, and shoots him as a tactic to distract Dick from hunting him down while he leaves. Which also just really feels like, even if the writer may not have intended it, something genuinely interesting to say about Jason feeling like he's in conflict with the narrative of superhero comics that are meant for kids--that he's willing to shoot a ten year old in the chest in a nearly fatal shot because he thinks that's what Batman does, he puts children in harm's way because that's what this life is. That it starts to feel like Jason trying to get a reaction out of the other Bats (because he can't get a reaction out of Bruce anymore), because some part of him wants to be in conflict with them but the other part wants them to talk to him, that he wants to hurt these Robins so that they'll see and see what happened to him and understand his hurt, and it just doesn't connect in his head that he's starting down the path of what hurt him, that he's the one hurting these kids because he wants to express his own pain. Idk, I feel like it's a mistake to just dismiss this as "the writers just think Jason is evil and aren't giving it any more thought" because, okay, there's some truth to that, but also it fits into the pattern of Jason writing where he's a whole-ass mess and, through luck or maybe even some deliberate seeds being planted, there's a lot of interesting things to say about a character doing terrible things but there's a heart in there worth digging out. That we know will be unearthed as the comics keep him around for a few more years and the character evolves.

[jpitha]

The Gods Among us

It is not unusual to have Gods.

Most - if not all - of the sapient races did at one time or another.

What is unusual however, is how completely the humans kept their gods.

Don’t get it confused. There is not one human religion.

There are millions.

There are atheists who worship no gods and think the whole thing is rather silly, monotheists who worship one and only one god and get sniffy about all the others, and people who worship a whole pantheon of gods of all different shapes, sizes and colors.

People who worship nature.

People who worship their ancestors.

People who worship their system’s star.

Humans are unique in their belief though. They bring their gods with them. I mean this figuratively of course. But... also literally. Humans will talk about how their gods follow them, and come along - sometimes to help, sometimes not. They speak of them as if they're right there with them.

And friends, I swear I’ve seen them too.

One time, we were between the stars and our FlashWarp drive failed. I don't know the details behind the why of it, I was onboard as a passenger. We were two days without our drive and thoroughly stuck.

On this trip, quite a few of the passengers were human. I had seen them before in passing, but never up close before. Short and stout, their bodies shouted their origin. A dangerous, difficult, high gravity world. They were strong and clever and built to survive.

Some carried little trinkets and charms too. Little pieces of metal, or plastic in small shapes. During the evening meal, I had asked one of them about it, and they had mentioned that it was a sign of their religion.

"Religion? As in worshiping the supernatural?"

"Well, technically, I suppose. It's much more personal for me than something academic sounding like that." They smiled and used their delicate digits to manipulate the little charm while they spoke. "Humanity has had religion a long, long time. I understand that many Confederation races had it too at one point, but most decided to put it away as they ventured out into space, correct?"

I nodded. It was fascinating to hear the conversation. I had never spoken with a human this much before. Her accent was impeccable and her voice was like music. Did all humans sound like this?

She continued. "Humans - those who Believe - bring that with them in what they do, who they are. That's not to say that Atheists are bad or wrong, or people who follow different gods are bad or wrong either. The galaxy is large enough for everyone, right?" I nodded, trying to follow her logic. "But in a galaxy as large as this, I believe that there is more to existence than meets the eye." Her eyes twinkled as she spoke.

While we were speaking, another human walked by. Tall for them, male shaped, with broad shoulders, and quite a lot of facial hair - beards is what they called them I believe. His facial hair was neatly trimmed and oiled. As he walked by I could smell it. I couldn't place the scent. Resinous though, natural. It was nice.

As he walked by, he glanced down at Meredith, he saw her fingering her little charm - it was two straight pieces of metal crossed near the top, one smaller than the other - and smiled.

I looked up at him. We met eyes - Meredith didn't notice him - and he closed one eye quickly and then opened it again. I think it's called... a wink? It's one of those gestures humans do that's full of nuance. It's hard for most translators to understand it.

Just as quickly as it began, the interaction was over. He continued on with long purposeful strides towards the rear of the ship, where Engineering and the FlashWarp modules were.

Later that day, there was an announcement from the Captain that the drive was repaired and we could continue to warp to our destination. We would work hard to make up for lost time, but that we would probably be a demi cycle behind. Apologies were offered, discounts on future travel given out, but mostly everyone was happy we weren't stranded anymore.

A rumor started on the ship however. While the engineers had the drive apart and were struggling with why it had failed, a human had walked into Engineering, looking around as if they belonged there, approached the FlashWarp module and stared at it for a moment.

When confronted and asked what he was doing, he replied in perfect Maligran - the language of the engineers working that time - "Have you checked the outer compensator? It looks cracked to me." and then did that motion with one of his eyes - closing and opening the lid quickly - and left.

The engineers, with nothing else left to try checked the outer compensator. It was impossible to see with an unaided eye, but they scanned it and sure enough, it was cracked. Just enough to prevent the FlashWarp seed field from forming. They had a spare on hand, replaced it, and were up and running almost immediately.

The next morning, I sought out Meredith at the morning meal. I asked her if she knew the human that had walked in, pointed out the error and left.

"What did he look like?"

I described him as best as I could, as well as the scent I noticed.

She nodded sagely. "That was probably Saint Eligius, patron saint of mechanical engineers."

My fur puffed out involuntarily. "A religious figure?"

She nodded and took a sip of coffee. "A minor one, but one nonetheless."

"And you're not surprised by this?"

"On the contrary, I'm pleased to hear that my prayers were answered."

"You... prayed for him?"

"Not him specifically, but I did ask for help."

I sat down at the table heavily. It seemed impossible that a human saint had walked by - had winked at me - and yet...

"Meredith, can you tell me more about your religion?"

[marimayscarlett]

We're all so quick to reblog these posts about keeping fandom spaces alive, but look at the Rammstein fandom, look at it! 😭 It's getting quiet and nobody wants to admit it. 😓 Everyone is just quietly lurking or waiting for someone else to do something and it's heartbreaking!Same cycle, different fandom. 😣 We say we care, but we don't engage, we don't reblog, we don't hype each other up anymore! Some just resort to like posts as if they were on instagram! No reblogs! Some blogs that used to be so active just vanished! Where are they? 😭 We need to actually show up if we don't want this space to disappear like so many others! Thank god at least you and some other blogs still post content! 😭 I'm not aa creator, but I try to reblog everything with commentary, but it's getting increasingly frustrating because I'm screaming into the void😭😭😭

Hi 👋🏻

I guess this is in regards to this post.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I suppose it depends on how you look at the matter. Allow me to describe my impression:

I entered this fandom on here in 2015 and spent some time here. It was admittedly very lively, very open — lots of people reblogged things with their thoughts added in the caption (which admittedly isn’t as common anymore, at least from what I’ve noticed). There was a lot of joy and excitement when Rammstein in Amerika and Rammstein in Paris came to theatres.

And after I came back to Tumblr, I witnessed the same excitement for the tours in the last two years! Which isn’t surprising, considering the tons of new concert material we got in the form of official reels and pictures, as well as the vast amount of fan videos (which was absolutely not a given during the festival tours, mind you).

I’m not sure I share the view of the Rammstein fandom as stated in that ask, but I do understand the feeling of looking back wistfully and yearning for more excitement, joy, and togetherness. Surely, the activity on here isn’t as high as during the tours, but I think that’s only natural.

Let’s not forget that there are various reasons for reduced activity:

– No new material: no tour or other events this year, so there’s not much new apart from a few selfies of the band members. Reblogging and posting older content is always nice and plays into the bittersweet emotion of nostalgia, but even I can’t spend my whole day on it.

– Real life happens! Plus there are different focus points in life. The members of this fandom don’t only exist on this little platform. They have family, work, responsibilities, friends, worries, and things to deal with, as well as offline hobbies and other fandoms they’re part of — which is a good thing! There’s a risk of becoming too absorbed in one thing when there’s no variety. I can only speak for myself, but I also find joy outside of Rammstein in other areas of interest. Which is nice, life’s too short to miss out on all the fascinating topics this world has to offer.

– Other fan spaces: Instagram seems to have a considerably large Rammstein fandom, and there’s a fairly active (I think) Discord server for this fandom here as well. Some people just need a change of pace when it comes to platforms sometimes.

And yet — we’re still here. We have wonderful and incredibly skilled artists who spoil us with beautiful Rammstein art. We have very talented and creative fanfic authors among us who bring the band to life in various scenarios. We have diligent gif-makers who pick out funny and striking moments for us to stare at endlessly.

As someone without an ounce (!) of creativity in my body, I deeply appreciate all of them, as well as every single person in this fandom. Every like, reblog, and written thought — whether it’s opinions or thirst — contributes to keeping this fandom alive. 🤍

It’s always good to encourage more engagement — I totally get you! But I don’t think this fandom is in any danger of dying out anytime soon. At least from the blogs I interact with and based on my dash, there's quite a lot of activity happening. Maybe not as much as there used to; yet perhaps it will be more if we get new content ✨

[honeycreammilkshake]

If that leak is real Gege may really want a sequel that has Sukuna but NOT yuji lmao, sorry Gege, I LOVE Sukuna but Sukuna without Yuji doesn't sound good, he is a good character but the rest of the cast is.....I still don't get why it was so hard to understand the huge appeal Sukuna/Yuji duo had.

Same with Yuji without Sukuna, standard safe ending with a trio safe ending, sorry I don't like those anymore

100% with you, anon. even if you don't ship sukuita, you can't deny sukuna and yuuji had one of the most fascinating relationships between a protagonist and an antagonist.

they both hate each other so deeply, but everything between them has always been much more personal than when they're fighting others. and sukuna definitely gives yuuji special treatment. he uses kozou almost exclusively for yuuji (and the one time i believe he doesn't, he's still referring to megumi as the "other" brat) to the point where it's almost like a pet name.

and what is so interesting about this is that sukuna so dismissively calls megumi "brat," in a way that i feel is trying to disassociate yuuji from the word.

there's a reason why i think of this as the sukuita divorce era and that is mostly because of how sukuna keeps claiming to not need yuuji any more, always trying to sideline yuuji in favor of others, but he also can't seem to stop obsessing over yuuji and making everything about the guy he supposedly finds boring and worthless. sukuna goes out of his way to praise/compliment others during their fights, so that everyone but yuuji (who he only ever admires in his private thoughts) seems to get some kind of in-depth commentary on their abilities, while sukuna merely insults yuuji (rather weakly, too). it's even funnier when sukuna unironically can't stop making everything about the brat even when yuuji isn't there, because when sukuna's fighting maki he still manages to frame his admiration of her skill in a way that insults yuuji, despite the fact the boy isn't even there so why does it have any relevance at all??

not only that, but sukuna loves to torment yuuji, dragging his cruel taunting out in a way he doesn't do with others. he deliberately changes back to let yuuji see the devastation of shibuya, because sukuna understands how much the needless death of strangers and innocents impacts yuuji.

and he also makes a big deal of how little he thinks of yuuji, how unthreatening and boring the brat supposedly is to him shortly after possessing megumi's body.

what's really interesting here is how, despite a chance to kill yuuji, sukuna still doesn't. in fact, he's had multiple chances to get rid of yuuji but still he keeps the brat around. maybe he finds yuuji a more worthwhile opponent after all. maybe he even wants yuuji to remain alive till the end of it all, if only to see the brat suffer through the breaking of all his ideals.

there's also the matter of how sukuna can't keep his hands off of yuuji, almost as if he misses the closeness he had when yuuji was his vessel. it's far more intimate and physical than it needs to be.

this panel in particular really showcases sukuna's overall feelings toward yuuji. he's cradling the back of yuuji's neck, almost tenderly, as he pounds his fists relentlessly on the side of yuuji's head.

yuuji drives sukuna to such violent reactions because sukuna's on the defensive with him. they both get under each other's skin and ignite a hate far more consuming than others bring out in them.

and the way yuuji also fights sukuna is so unnecessarily up-close and physical as well.

the raw emotion of yuuji beating into sukuna, his crazy side really showing in how rough and unmerciful he is right now.

sukuna draws out the worst in yuuji just as much as sukuna arguably drew out the best in him, too. if it wasn't for swallowing that cursed finger and becoming the vessel of the king of curses, yuuji wouldn't have started down this path of working so hard to save other people's lives. as he himself said, he'd never before considered putting his own strength and talents to use helping others, and never before had he considered he might be the only person capable of doing so, but seeing how sukuna caused so much devastation and death drove yuuji into becoming a fighting force for good.

and just like sukuna brings out so many overwhelmingly strong feelings in yuuji, the boy does the same to him as well. sukuna is at turns extremely aggravated and enraged because of yuuji, and surprisingly pleased because of him as well.

sukuna can keep talking big about how uninteresting and inferior yuuji is yet the moment yuuji comes into view, sukuna is all psyched up for their fight....

he even looks excited and pleased to fight with yuuji again even though he claims to have no interest in the brat .... not fooling anyone sukuna ( -. -)

sukuna also can't seem to stand yuuji looking down on him with "pity" which sparks a much more violent reaction than he had with other people when they suggested sukuna was lonely and unfulfilled with his life, or even tried to "force" sukuna into thinking like them.

i think my biggest disappointment with this series overall is how gege chose to focus so much less on these two and their dynamic. i hated it when yuuji kept getting relegated to the sides over and over, and i also didn't like it when sukuna kept having rather pointless fights with everyone but yuuji.

the fact that yuuji suddenly wanted to offer sukuna mercy and even connect with him despite hating and despising his very being before was also such an unexpected twist that i would have loved gege to expand on and give a little more context and feeling behind.

i think, with a relationship as fascinating and complex as theirs, focusing more on it would have only made jjk even greater. but sadly, gege chose not to do that. and i feel like that why a lot of the recent chapters have been rather disappointing.

thank you so much for your ask, anon! sorry for the rant i came back with.

[heelsofboreas]

Like Real People Do - 1308 words

This is probably going to be a series of shorter things where Dream explores anatomy on an awake Punz who doesn't feel pain. Like that's kind of fucked up and fun. This was just going to be cannibalism but it turned into kind of a pre-amble to that. It'll be more gorey and worse the next time. Author used to work in the medical field. (tw blood, mentioned but not heavily described gore, symptoms of blood loss)

It was that easy, really. Humans weren't that different from animals when it came down to it. Just glorified slabs of meat that reproduced with reckless abandon and got stressed out about flickering lights. Gross and disgusting masses of flesh and ignorance. They were fueled by desires and sensations that Punz never felt like they fully understood. For a variety of reasons.

Like many creatures of flesh, the redstone lights in their lab always bothered Punz as with every tic it seemed to subtly flicker. It made their forehead tense in a way that was mildly discomforting. They'd get up and turn them off themself but Dream needed them to see and today they weren't quite in the mood to inconvenience him. And, to be very fair, their left leg wasn't in any state to be standing on.

Dream had been curious about the limits of their particular ailment, and Punz had been willing to let him push them. When weren't they willing to let Dream push them closer and closer to the edge? Killing Vik and Lazar over and over again had been just the beginning of how far they'd go with the book. Killing each other had come next. Now, Punz was laid out on a stone slab table like a sacrificial lamb. To be butchered by Dream for the sake of understanding.

Even as the knife cut up to the edge of their boxers they didn't flinch. They felt skin split and muscle slice and all they did was lift their head in an attempt to see whatever new fascination Dream was taking with his work. The simple act made the world spin though. The room rotated in a way that it probably wouldn't ever naturally and that was enough for Punz to know they were probably starting to reach the limit of the amount of blood that they'd normally be okay with losing.

Their head falls back on the sheet lined stone with enough force to rattle their teeth. Good thing they weren't meant to make it out of this in one piece anyways. Punz wouldn't need to spend several hours looking over their body to try and find if there were any injuries they couldn't feel. No one ever believed them when they first brought it up. People thought they were just being edgy, but Dream had learned pretty quickly how real it was after watching the older walk around with a nail in their foot until their sock got uncomfortably squishy.

Despite that, he was still breathless with disbelief when he spoke, "You really didn't feel any of that."

"Pain wise-"

"Yeah. Yeah, pain wise. You just didn't feel any of that, pain wise? Like you just felt the knife and nothing else?" Dream continues to poke for the explanation again.

"I felt the knife. I felt, like, my leg get cut, but it doesn't hurt. I won't even get adrenaline or whatever unless I look at it," Punz repeats with only a hint of bore. Their words slowed down with each passing minute. They could feel their body getting heavier. Harder to move, but they weren't scared yet.

"Or unless things get, like, bad?" He continues hardly leaving space between their words. Dream could practically barrel over anyone in conversation without realizing it. They didn't mind anymore. In fact, the excitement it showed was pretty fucking endearing. Everything about Dream was always growing more and more endearing.

It takes a moment for Punz to piece the words together, but in the end they don't need to. "Well, like you said you get dizzy, you feel sick, you feel cold, and then somewhere around when your body stops working you feel scared? Then you're like, not anymore?" They feel something get pressed hard against their thigh. Is it Dream's hands?

"Mostly, yeah," they respond with a slight shrug. When did they start breathing so hard? The warmth spread down their leg pooling faster than it had been when Dream was just slicing up their calf and pressing his fingers between their tibia and fibula. "How deep did you cut?" They ask. They force their head up to take a look, slightly easier now for some reason than moments ago.

"Don't worry! It's fine just..." Dream starts with a strange lilt. "Just- Just drink some of the regen." He sounds like he's doing his best to stay calm, but failing. Punz feels their eyes widen at the amount of blood on his hands when the world finally comes into focus. They pull themself onto one elbow, it shakes under their weight but they manage to meet his hand half way. His hand is covered in blood and it stains the glass as it’s passed over to Punz. They feel the warmth on their fingertips and furrow their brows. Spots form in the corners of their vision.

Fuck. He definitely hit something vital this time. There was still more they wanted to do, so Punz didn’t argue this time.

They spill some onto their shirt trying to get even a drop of it down their throat. Their hand was shaking but the motion got much steadier after it found their lips. Their nose scrunched up in displeasure, but they swallowed gulp after gulp regardless. It was just thick enough to be uncomfortable and sent a shiver down their spine as they pulled the bottle away. Their eyes loosely lock on a blur of brown hair, sunkissed skin, and red. “‘M okay,” they slur. It sounds like nothing to them, but it also sounds like far too much. Time moves too slow and too suddenly for Punz to keep up. Dream is suddenly face to face with them. The bottle was removed from their hand and put into the void for all Punz could understand. All they could see was his face. 

Beautiful green eyes and freckles that Punz traced with a scarred fingertip sometimes framed a nervous smile. Their shoulders were carefully pressed down until they were lying down on their back with Dream looming over them. The light over them casts Dream in a halo of yellow and Punz completely misses the words coming out of his mouth between the muffled ringing in their ears and visual distortion of his soft lips. Their mind should be anywhere but where it was. They wanted to see him smile. They wanted to make him happy. They’d give anything to him. At any point. All he needed to do was ask. They’d even let him -

“-eat me sometime,” Punz follows with a cough as the regen gives them back control of their lungs. Sputtering from heavy, rapid pants to something more normal. They blink a few times, only to realize that Dream is doing the exact same. His mouth hung open in shock. “What-” they start to ask.

The male bursts into laughter. He practically doubles over and has to catch himself on his elbow to keep himself from collapsing onto Punz. He cups his face and hides his eyes. “Oh my- oh my god, Punz,” he chokes out before it's drowned out by a wheeze. 

Punz’s face would be red if there was enough blood in their body to go there. “What? What? Did I say something?” They push. Suddenly intensely wanting to know what all slipped out of their mouth. 

It takes another moment for Dream to calm down. When he moves his hand away from his face, he takes one last deep breath. Then nearly bursts into giggles again as he answers, “‘You could eat me sometime.’ I think.” 

“Wait, fuck. I didn’t mean it like-” 

Dream bursts into laughter again and their fingers twitch. As much as they’re shivering they suddenly feel too warm. They don’t know if that’s annoyance or the regen. Bloody hands find the sides of their face and they nearly freeze. Dream was so much closer. Punz could practically feel the ghost of his breath against their lips. With anyone else this would be uncomfortable, but with him it was something that felt so right. “You’re fine. I mean, it might be fun. Another thing to try, right?” He smiles as he says it, and they can’t help but agree.

[michanvalentine]

Good morning, people! Good morning, lovers of wild ramblings!

Today, I feel like talking about Spawn Astarion again because, honestly, I just don’t get it. Let’s talk about the mask—that damn mask of Astarion. The one he apparently keeps firmly in place even in his "good" ending. Because he feels the need to hide, because Neil said that in the evil ending, he takes it off, etc. So, by that logic, Spawn Astarion is just a façade.

This topic of the mask is truly fascinating in general, in my opinion. It’s very deep, connecting to psychology, philosophy, and even literature. I mean, it’s not a new subject—far from it—and it has been discussed forever. Most importantly, it’s something that concerns all of us, whether we’re aware of it or not.

"One, No One, and One Hundred Thousand." A novel by the Italian author Luigi Pirandello (playwright, writer, and poet, awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1934), which revolves around the concept of the mask and how each of us wears one depending on the social context we’re in. At home, we act one way, at school another, with friends yet another, and differently again at work. We behave one way with those we like, another way with those we don't. And when we're alone, we behave differently yet again. We are different in each of these situations. In psychology, this ties directly into the concept of the self and how the ego reconciles all these facets to create a unified sense of personality.

I’d also like to point out that, beyond the perception we have of ourselves, there’s also the perception others have of us. Which one is true, and which one is false? They’re both subjective, so how can we distinguish absolute objectivity?

Now, back to Neil’s statement. First of all, the context needs to be clarified: this is about the actor's performance—the two different ways in which Astarion moves and speaks, the general attitude he has toward the world and others, and the approach Neil Newbon had to develop to bring his character to life.

"With Lord Astarion, we talked a lot about the idea that the cover is now off completely. So that you see him at his most terrible, and it's completely honest and he doesn't have to pretend anymore. So he loses a lot of the flamboyance and the fun of the theatricality, which is all a distraction anyway."

Ascendant Astarion no longer needs the cover. He is completely honest, and this is undoubtedly the worst version of himself. We see him at his most terrible. But what cover are we talking about? Where was this mask that Ascendant Astarion no longer feels the need to wear?

"That's all distraction so you don't see how he's hurt and damaged and his vulnerability. Lord Astarion doesn't need that anymore. So we just thought, okay, now mimics taking off a mask it's off. He doesn't need to pretend, he doesn't need to do too much. It's all about the status and that kind of stuff."

So we’re talking about the mask that covered the wounded part, the vulnerable part—the most human part of Astarion. The part that Ascendant Astarion killed during the ritual.

Ascendant Astarion feels free, powerful, and untouchable (feels, a subjective perception, always to be considered in relation to the opposing force—I can confirm that stabbing him atop the Absolute was quite easy, much to his surprise and disbelief; and if I’m not mistaken, he can even be forced back into slavery if one doesn’t intend to share the power of the brain with him). He no longer needs to use that mask because the part of him that needed hiding no longer exists.

So, keeping the context and the thread of the discussion, it follows that spawn Astarion—who has chosen to embrace his vulnerability and the most human part of himself—sometimes still needs the mask to protect himself. Which is perfectly understandable. That doesn’t mean everything he says or does is fake. Or that he’s constantly trying to please others. I genuinely don’t understand how people are connecting the dots in this way.

If anything, he behaves exactly like any person who has been hurt. We all do it, whether we realize it or not. A silly example? Who hasn’t, at some point in their life, made a joke about their own physical flaw (or any other personal insecurity) to diminish it and take away its power? It’s easier to laugh about it than to admit outright, "I don’t even want to talk about it because it makes me feel bad!" Does that make us fake? Meh...

Let’s take the Mind Flayer scene, for example. Astarion doesn’t find them attractive (but I bet all of us in real life are married to Mind Flayers, right?), yet he tries to be kind when expressing that. Is he faking it? Is he trying to please the other person? Absolutely not. He’s behaving like a normal person who considers the other person’s feelings and tries not to hurt them (otherwise, we’re venturing into sociopathy). That’s something to be admired. It’s not like he’s forcing himself to sleep with a Mind Flayer just to appease Tav. He’s simply being kind to someone who means something to him—as he should be.

And come on, I even read somewhere that in the graveyard scene, he’s too perfect, too accommodating to be real, ready to say and do all the right things! Because obviously, with that relaxed expression and those bright, sweet, emotion-filled eyes, he’s faking it! It has to be an act!

Aren’t we maybe exaggerating just a little?

And if we really want to go there, it’s not like Ascendant Astarion has many opportunities to build relationships or establish useful connections with the important people in Baldur’s Gate without having to "work them" a little. He, too, is subject to One, No One, and One Hundred Thousand—in the sense that he still has to navigate society.

[rvzcvx]

MOTORCYCLE RIDE

pairing: tom kaulitz x female reader

warnings: nothing

a/n: sorry for no posting but i didnt have any ideas :c i need more requests cause idk what to write anymore. and ofc i hope youre gonna enjoy what i wrote!!!!!!

I had always admired Tom's love for motorcycles. It was something I found both fascinating and terrifying. I loved how his eyes sparkled with excitement whenever he talked about riding, but the thought of being on a motorcycle myself made me kinda anxious. Today, Tom had convinced me to join him on a ride, promising it would be an unforgettable experience.

“Trust me, you'll love it„ he said, handing me a helmet with that specific grin on his lips. I took the helmet, my heart racing, like it could jump out of my chest. “I don't know, Tom. I've never been on a motorcycle before. What if something goes wrong?„

He stepped closer, his eyes softening with understanding. “Nothing will go wrong, I promise. I'll be right there with you the whole time. Just hold me tight and you'll see„

“Okay„ I sighed, trying to gain some courage. “I'll trust you„

Tom's grin widened as he helped me put on the helmet and adjusted the strap under my chin. He swung his leg over the bike, then turned to help me climb on behind him. “Ready?„ he asked, looking back at me. “I think so„ I replied, my voice shaky but determined.

The engine roared, and I tightened my grip around Tom's waist, feeling the vibrations through my whole body. We drove out of the garage and onto the street, the wind immediately whipping against my face. Every bump and turn made me grip Tom tighter, my knuckles turning white.

“You're doing great„ Tom called over his shoulder, his voice reassuring.

We left the city behind, heading towards the open road. The scenery changed from city buildings to hills and open fields. Tom glanced back at me, his eyes shining with a smile beneath his helmet. “How are you doing back there?„ he asked, barely audible because of the wind.

“Better than I thought I would„ I admitted, my voice filled with confidence. “See? I told you you'd love it„ he said, his tone kinda teasing.

We rode for what felt like hours, the sun beginning to set towards the horizon. I found myself relaxing more, even daring to enjoy the feeling of the wind rushing past us.

Eventually, Tom pulled over to a hill with a view of the whole city. The view was breathtaking, the sky in shades of orange and pink. He turned off the engine, and we both removed our helmets. I shook out my hair, feeling a little disheveled.

He turned to me, his smile wide and genuine. “So, what do you think?„ I grinned back at him, my fear completely forgotten. “That was amazing! I can't believe I was so scared„

He laughed, reaching out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “I knew you'd love it once you gave it a chance. There's nothing better than riding a motorbike at sunset„

I looked out at the view, the beauty of the moment making my heart swell. “Thank you for convincing me to do this„ I said softly. “I would never do this without you„

Tom stepped closer, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into a warm embrace. “I'm glad that you trusted me„ he murmured, his lips brushing against my forehead. I hugged him back, feeling a deep sense of connection.

We stood there for a while, just enjoying the view and each other's company. The fear completely left me, and all that mattered now was this moment.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, we put our helmets back on and got ready to head home. This time, I climbed onto the bike with a smile, eager for the ride back. Tom glanced back at me, his eyes filled with pride and affection.

“Ready to go?„ he asked. “Ready„ I said, my voice steady and sure.

[maeevel]

In my mind I always liked to think that Percy culd never become a god. After seeing what kind of a god Hercules became (some glorified bouncer basically) I kinda never liked the idea of Percy becoming a god.

Imagine doing all that just to become a minor god. A god still. But a minor god. In a time where pple don't even worship the gods.

I once read a fic from Poseidon's point of view and he was lamenting percy not choosing godhood when it was offered. He went ahead and blamed Aphrodite for it. Because of Percy's love for Annabeth he didn't was to ascend and leave her behind.

But Aphrodite countered that it's better this way. You want to see him ascend and basically become some glorified errand boy? Like Hercules? He countered and said percy wuld he honoured at his side. Aphrodite countered and said he already had Delphin and Triton for that.

Even in the books, meeting Hercules and seeing the person he was post godhood solidified and reassured Percy that his decision to reject godhood was the right. Anything to avoid becoming like THAT person.

There's something sad abt heroes who become God's in my opinion. I don't know what it is. The ichor that flows in their veins instead of blood? I don't know. But they're all... Out of touch somehow.

It's like they've totally forgotten what it's like to be mortal. They can't relate to the average hero anymore. And relate more to the casual cruelty, superiority and ambivalence of the gods more. Another example of this is Dionysus.

Bro used to be mortal. A hero. And now he has a dad bod and said all those cruel things to percy in book 3 when he went on that quest. Talking shot abt heroes all together. Where did that venom come from?.

I don't know but I think I understand Apollo now when he says he doesn't want to see her rosy blush replaced by a golden one.

One of Percy's best qualities is the fact that he's human. His best parts come from the fact that he's Sally Jackson's son (and in this case SHE'S Sally Jackson's daughter) it wuld be sad to that part dissappear.

This is becoming a very very long ask now. But I guess what I'm trying to say is, what I think I like (and what Apollo likes too maybe) is the Duality of Percy. He's obviously a big fan of the monster bits of her. But the gentleness too. The kindness and sweetness. He was Jealous of it wasn't he?

Jealous that everyone seemed to get her kindness. Her smiles. Everyone but him. She treated everyone so gently but she was cold to the gods and then cruel to him after he kidnapped her.

So maybe percy can become immortal. But does she need to become a goddess?

Yes, agreed! Tho I loooove fics where Percy ascends on his own, like for example in Tartarus. Something really tragic about his own powers outreaching him so much that they can't be contained within a mortal body 😭 Or when he ascends because the campers are starting to pray to him or burning offerings to him. It's just so good lol

And yes, Apollo knows fully that Percy would HATE to be a goddess. He wants to keep her forever, but he is also fascinated by all the things that make her mortal. So how does he keep her forever without losing that? Making her immortal without her being a goddess could be one thing, you're right about that 👀