#it's going to happen again im going to miss my bus again and it will be her fault i know this

[bunnihearted]

🫖🐭☁️🍚

[maretriarch]

called into the managers office to basically be told yeah i know you cant work weekend nights bcs the last bus is 6 minutes after we close but im going to schedule you for that time slot anyways and (in a tone that indicates he doesnt gaf at all) ill try my best to TRY and not schedule you then i GUESS but yknow we had to move a lot of peoples schedules around when you were in the hospital on your States Right To Medical Leave because you were dying and looked like a paper mache draugr and yknow ive had to get motels working for goodwill before so we all have to do our part

[iqmmir]

I couldn't sleep

[phagodyke]

ALMOST FORGOT MY MEDS THIS MORNING...

[anaalnathrakhs]

i WILL show up to the trial day for the preparatory class tomorrow no matter how much i dont want to and after that i guarantee NOTHING

[klipkillakai]

|pt 2|

humming the smooth melodies of jhené aiko’s music, you slowly walk down the aisles of the bookstore, picking up books and looking at the back reading the synopsis, this morning you woke up and decided you wanted to go to the mall..

usually you go with your bestie but she’s been in florida all week, so you decided to go by yourself, this was a little anxiety inducing but you went straight to your safe haven.. barnes and nobles.. where you can pick any escape you want

you decided you wanted to pick up some romance novels, it probably having to do with it being february and your new found crush but your gonna be delusional and pretend that’s not the case..

you think about him as you look through the books, you haven’t seen him at school all week and you feel worried? it’s odd because you wouldn’t have noticed before but now it’s different..

you haven’t attempted to text him out of fear, but you notice he hasn’t texted you either, it hurts a bit and deep down you can’t help but feel like it was too good to be true..

you shake the thoughts away and collect your books and head to the cashier..

connie silently follows the guards as they lead him out to intake, he’d been locked up the past few, some bullshit about a warrant.. he knew that was a lie.. he knew they needed to get him on something, but unfortunately for them he has one the best lawyers in the country..

he smiles when the guard roughly uncuffs him, muttering for him to get dressed.. the guards leave and immediately he shoves off the jumpsuit wrapped around his waist pulling on his cargos and tee he was last in, he opens the ziplock baggie with his phone in it, calling his employee, he tucks the phone between his ear and shoulder and laces up his shoes

“sir?”

“im out, send the car”

connie hangs up and shoves the phone in his pocket along with his keys and wallet and zips up his jacket, before pressing the button notifying he was done changing—

——————————————————————————

you hop off the bus, and start walking back to your house, you carry the few bags of things you bought and shiver at the bite of the cold

“oh nah” you whisper and start to walk a bit faster

a few blocks in you feel the urge to look behind you, you peep a hellcat going slow down the street but you don’t recognize it exactly, you think that’s odd so you keep walking silently keeping note, starting to feel paranoid you turn around again and it’s still following you.. not knowing what to do you keep walking faster until the car finally pulls up next to you and rolls down the window, you prepare to tell the whoever in the car off until you hear

“hey mama”

you stop dead in your tracks and turn to look at the man you’ve been thinking about this whole week

“connie?”

you walk closer to the car and he puts it in park and gets out, before leaning on the door, he smiles

“you missed me?”

wanting to say yes you shrug and say

“where you been? i haven’t seen you at school since last week”

he slowly slides his hands in his pockets and looks at you for a beat and says

“i was locked up, got pulled over on a warrant or sumn, but i got out quick because they had nothing to stand on”

you brows slightly furrow “jail? what kind of warrant did they say it was?”

connie slowly walks closer to you and, softly grabs the bags from your hand and nods towards his car..

“cmon, take a ride wit me real quick”

he goes around the other side of the car opening the door, before you slip inside, he places the bags on your lap and mutters a “seatbelt” and shuts the door quickly walking around to his side and looking around before slipping in the car, the car starts and plays loud drill music before he quickly turns it down and pulls off..

“you didn’t answer my question..” you say softly looking at him

his jaw ticks for a second and his thumb taps the wheel, “ion want you to worry about that aight?” he shoot’s a lazy look towards you..

“should i worry about it” he shakes his head no and you ask..

“is it gonna happen again?” he softly licks his lips and says “i’m gonna make sure it doesn’t”

you look in his eyes as he says that and you get the slightest flash of something sinister behind them, that erupts butterflies in your belly and you softly squeeze your thighs together

“okay” you whisper, and he looks at you again with a slight smile..

after 20 mins of driving you finally ask with a little laugh “where we going?” he pulls up to a parking garage entrance and pulls in before saying

“my crib” your heart skips a beat and, your feel yourself get a bit hot.. “oh” you whisper

“is that okay?” he asks with a teasing smile, pulling into a parking space, “yea i just didn’t expect that”

“don’t worry your safe, your always safe wit me”

you look up at him with a bright smile, and connie nearly wants to fall to his knees, he looks at the brightness in your eyes before it quickly lowers to your lips and he looks away, almost wanting to laugh at how smitten you’ve gotten him..

he opens your door, taking your hand and you walk away hearing the car lock, he leads you to an elevator, and he presses the fob to the button and presses the 10th floor..

you feel his thumb softly go back and forth on the back of your hand “you cold?” he says softly and you nod.. “i could tell when you were outside” he shrugs off his big carthartt jacket and drapes it over your shoulder.. the elevator dings and he pulls you into the hallways stopping at his apartment door, pulling out his keys, unlocking it and nodding you inside

you walk through the door looking around, it smells just like him, the fresh masculine smell, slightly twinged with weed, he kicks he shoes off and you do the same, pulling off your hot pink crocs and neatly placing them next to his shoes…

“so did you just get home today?”

“yea a few hours ago actually, i haven’t been home in a week, i fucking missed it” he pulls off his hoodie causing his shirt to lift under it and you catch a glimpse of his happy trail.. you want to scream because you find that so attractive but you look away fighting back a smile..

you walk further into the seemingly large apartment, looking around at the masculine decor, the black couches and large tv mounted on the wall, you slowly turn and notice a book shelf, you slowly walk towards it, hearing connie in the back opening a fridge.. you graze your fingers on the books about finance, stock investing… and your finger stops on a book about secret society’s.. you look back at connie before you keep scanning the books.. others filled law.. others about cars and guns…

“you like to read?” you ask connie

“that’s how i learn, knowledge is power” connie says as he stands behind you, slowly dragging his hand up your arm.. then slowly moving your braids to one side.. and dragging his lips up your neck inhaling your sent at the same time..

you let out a slow breath.. and you feel his large hands slowly press against your lower belly, and you feel heat slowly pool there..

“your so beautiful you know that?”

you softly smile.. “sometimes i don’t”

he softly pause before slowly turning your face towards his.. “i’m gonna ensure you do”

he looks in your eyes for a beat before letting your face go, “im gonna hop in the shower rq, then we’re gonna dip aight?”

you let a breath “mhm” you nod for reassurance and he smiles a bit before turning around and walking down the hall..

——————————————————————————

10 mins later you sitting on his couch tapping through stories.. you start to think about who connie is.. he got out of jail today and you still have yet to know what.. and.. and that phone call! the last time you were in the car together he told you the same thing “don’t worry about it” do you trust him enough to not worry about it? are you going to let curiosity kill the cat?

you hear the bathroom door open cutting your thoughts short, you look up at connie.. the towel wrapped around his waist, water droplets rolling down his abs.. gold chain dangling around his neck.. and his tattoos.. god you love his tattoos.. a snake winding around his arm.. a cross on the side of his neck and a large chest and back piece..

“i can feel you staring pretty girl”

you immediately look away feeling your body heat up from embarrassment.. he laughs a bit and shakes his head.. “it’s okay.. i stare too” you softly turn towards him and look in his eyes.. “i really like your tattoos”

“oh yeah?” “yeah” you whisper back shyly and he smiles at that, connie likes making you nervous.. he likes catching you stare and that little dazed look on your face..

“your gonna come wit me to pick sumn up, and we gon get food after or sumn aight?”

“you know.. you never ask.. you just tell” you say with a teasing smile..

“would you like me to ask? even if i knew the answer already”

“what makes you think i’ll say yes?”

“you haven’t said no yet..”

“maybe i will”

“well let me know when you decide to do that”

you roll your eyes and connie slightly smirks before walking into his room and changing clothes, he goes into his closet looking behind him before grabbing his piece and tucking it his pants, he covers it with his shirt and grabs a thick jacket and pulls on his timbs..

he sprays some of his cologne and slips on his rings and opens his nightstand and grabs his other phone slipping it in his pocket and leaving..

he walks out the room and sees you still patiently waiting on the couch, hearing your nails tap against the screen.. “cmon mama”

he watches your pretty head snap up, you quickly hop up, pulling up your pink sweatpants and rounding the couch walking towards him..

he grabs your hand and you walk out the door together, heading to the elevator and eventually ending up in the parking garage again, this time getting into a different car, he quickly pulls out, nodding to the security guard and pulling into the street..

he zooms pass other cars as he picks up his phone from the cup holder, calling someone..

he looks around before he turns, and starts to speak

“im pulling up, have it ready” soon after he pulls into a warehouse building, you hear his tires crackle against the the gravel and a man stands there holding a large black duffel bag, connie rolls down the window, dapping the man up before reaching down and opening his trunk, silently plopping the back the trunk and shutting it, without another word he begins to walk inside, connie pulls out the driveway pulling out into the street again..

you almost open your mouth to ask what’s in the bag but you choose not too, do you really want to know? do you need to know? it seems connie doesn’t think you do.. so you stay quiet..

connie softly looks over to you.. “whatchu want to eat?” you smile a bit thinking about it “mmm i dunno you pick” he shrugs and smiles “i don’t care about what i eat, i’ve been eating prison food for a week”

you think about it, and you smile getting an idea “let me cook for you” connie slightly pauses and looks over at you, his heart slightly soars and he says “forreal?” “mhm” you nod and connie looks at you with an amused expression on his face, like there’s an inside joke he’s having with himself..

“aight, bet” he quickly makes a u-turn zooming pass cars and soon after pulls into a whole foods.. he parks and nods for you to get out too, you walk hand in hand inside the store and you grab a basket quickly pulling on his hand, leading him to where you need to go..

you stand in the aisle looking at different types of beans as connie stands close behind you, softly rubbing your back “what are you making?”

“rice and beans with jerk chicken” he groans softly and whispers “sheesh” you smile and continue shopping, quickly grabbing all the ingredients and heading to self check out, connie helps scan and pays of course and you quickly put the bags in the car and head back to his place..

the tv is playing in the back as you cut up vegetables, the meat is already marinating in the fridge, and your just focusing on the rice and beans at this point, connie is standing next to you washing the rice..

connie loves this, cooking with someone, allat wifey shit.. that gets him bad, he hears you giggle at a joke from the show and he smiles, when you proposed the idea of cooking for him he almost fell in love with you on the spot, he likes that wifey shit because he knows he can match that energy by providing, he’s always wanted to be that.. a provider.. it’s just in his nature, he knows dudes who want a wife but act like bums when the opportunity arises, nah he’s gon take care of you back.. always.

he finishes cooking the rice and looks over to you “you need me to do something else?” you finish giggling at the joke and shake your head no “no thank you” you say sweetly.. and he nods before pressing a kiss to your cheek.. “i’m gonna be in my room aight?” “mhm” you nod and he walks down the hallway as you cook..

an hour later your rolling balls of cookie dough and placing them on the baking sheet in front of you, you hear the door open and connie’s comes out the room, he changed into grey sweats and a wife beater he smells the kitchen “damn it’s smells good in here”

you smile and grab the sheet, placing it in the oven and go to the sink to rinse your hands off “we can eat the food is done, i was just making some cookies”

he walks behind you, reaching up grabbing two plates and forks handing them to you, you go over to the pots on the stove and start making his plate..

“you eat alot? you ask and he walks up behind you softly rubbing your lower back “mhm” he hums and you start to put more rice and another piece of chicken and you hand him his plate before making yours..:

you end up on his couch, he puts on a movie and you start to eat.. “you wanna smoke?” he asks and you smile “you stay trynna get me high” he laughs and shakes his head before reaching on his coffee table, grabbing a box and starting to roll up, he sparks it and hits it before passing it to you, you pass it back and forth until your both faded and you start eating

connie takes his first bite and groans softly, pointing and nodding at the food “this is so fucking good mama” you smile knowing that it’s good and you take your fist bite “shiiit” you say and you both laugh high asf..

you talk and eat for the rest of the evening, you open up about yourselves, telling each other things about your insecurities, your outlook on life.. who you want to be as people, and that draws you closer, you both begin to understand that your just people that want love, and company and support.. and that connects with both of you, both of you falling deeper and deeper and not even realizing it..

you and connie cuddle, both wrapped around each other eating the warm cookies fresh out the oven, the high still hitting, you feel his hand softly rub small circles on your hips, and you feel butterflies erupt in your belly, and heat slowly trickling down..you softly adjust yourself, and connie notices looking down, he softly smiles and against his better judgement he slides his palm down, softly rubbing your lower belly, his pinkie lightly grazing under the waistband on your sweats and you softly bite your lip..

you reach back softly, and rub his hand on your belly, softly rubbing it, connie softly presses a kiss to your cheek, slowly moving down to your neck, nipping and sucking softly, your eyes lower and you shudder, you softly turn around, sitting up and connie follows,

you slowly climb on his lap, and his hands immediately finds your waist, you both hold eye contact only breaking it it look at each others lips,he leans in looking up at you for consent, you softly nod and he captures your lips in a kiss, you kiss him back the kiss is slow and sensual, as if your both making a map, slowly figuring each other out.. his tongue grazes your lower lip and you open your mouth , you tongues now dancing around each other, you slowly roll your hips into his his, and that sends a sharp shiver down your spine.. you almost gasp at it..

he hands slides up your chest and up to your neck, grabbing it and squeezing it, pulling you closer, the pace of the kiss becoming faster, more passionate..he softly pulls back softly biting your lip before kissing you again.. you wrap your arms around his neck, your nails grazing against the nape of his neck, causing him to shudder and his bulge under you twitching, this slightly intimidates you.. your a virgin and all of this is new to you.. your just going with the flow.. but damn does it feel good.. it feels better than any words you’ve ever read when reading your silly little romance novels.. even better than when you touch yourself late at night..

you slowly pull away, a string of saliva connecting you both, not wanting you to separate, his eyes are low and filled with lust.. he leans back and groans softly rubbing your ass “you gonna drive me crazy mama” your face heats and you smile “yeah?” you whisper sweetly while you softly rub his chest..

he watches you, and you lean in, laying your head on his chest, he softly rubs your back.. this combined with the weed and food, starts making you sleepy, your eyes begin to lower and connie notices..

“you can sleep baby, i’ll drop you off later” you sleepily nod and you feel connie pull a blanket over you and press a kiss to your forehead.. and you drift off to sleep, feeling safe and warm..

|a/n|

yalll! did you miss me?? hehehe i don’t think you guys understand the bull i just went through!!! tumblr dead deleted half my draft! i’m officially traumatized guys! i see why you guys write in word or like google docs or sumn! but i just wanted to say thank you for over 1000 notes on soft thug 1!! like ermmm i did NOT expect that thank you so much guys!! ily 🩷

[tag-list]

@ebonydumbslut

@burpzz

@rawr29184

[sweetlyskz]

Emerald Gem||Chapter Five

Chapter one|Chapter two|Chapter three|Chapter four|Chapter five|Chapter six|Chapter seven|Chapter eight||Chapter nine|Chapter ten (finale!)|

Pairing: Hybrid!OT7 x fem!reader

Overview: Living away from society has its perks. All natural food from your thoroughly cultivated farm, no nosy neighbors, and peace and security with your animals. But sometimes you did get lonely, having no one the talk to but the pigs. However, when 7 extremely wanted hybrids stable upon your deserted farm, everything changes.

Genre: Hybrid Au, Strangers to lovers, slow burn, smut, fluff

Word count: 1.7k

Unedited

"How much longer do we have to keep walking?"

The group was extremely sick and exhausted, walking miles and miles along the forest. When Jimin had no more energy left, the youngest carried him on his back. The pack leader was fearful of the government coming to find them, so during the day they walked nonstop. And when the sun would finally rest, they would rest in the nearest cave or by the tallest tree.

"Until we make it to some water", Joon claimed, ears perked to listen for the closest stream. "I can hear it. We're almost there."

"We wouldn't have had to run, y'know..." Jimin was absentmindedly whispering his thoughts, delirious from lack of sleep.

"I miss her", Tae whined. "And I miss the food, and the comfy bed, and the little chickens..."

Namjoon ignored their complaints, keeping the same pace. He was just as sick and tired as they were, but his love for his pack kept him strong. Now matter how much they tried to convince him to stay, it didn't work. But they couldn't blame him- Namjoon has been burned before.

And he wasn't gonna let it happen again.

Justin didn't like taking the bus. The older kids always made fun of him. Plus, his school was only a couple of minutes away from home if he took the shortcut. So everyday afterschool he would hop the fence behind the school and take left and right turns through the alleyways to get home.

Until one day where he met a little wolf hybrid. Justin had stumbled upon the little guy next to a dumpster in the alley. He was frail and weak looking. His short was torn, his pants were jagged, and the soles of his feet were black.

"Hey little guy", Justin whispered, slowly walking up to the wolf as to not startle him. However it did quite the opposite.

"Please!" He screamed. "I'll go but please don't hurt me!"

With that, Justin backed away. "I'm not gonna hurt you- promise!" The hybrid stood on his feet with haste, getting ready to make a fast exit.

But Justin didn't wanna let him go.

"Are you lost? Do you need some help?" That's when he realized Justin wasn't coming for him- he probably didn't even know who he was.

"N-no. Im f-fine", he whispered, making his way to the kind human who offered to help him. "Just please don't tell anyone I'm here-please." He got down on his knees and pleaded.

"I won't, I swear. But, you can't stay here. Whoever you're hiding from will find you as easily as I did."

The hybrid thought for a second, pondering over his next moves. He's probably been on the run his whole life. His street smarts are probably beyond compare. At least, that's what Justin thought.

"I have nowhere to go..." He whispered. "My family... they're dead. They're all dead- and I'm alone."

It was like looking in a mirror. Justin had found someone just like him. Parentless, scared, afraid. He had a feeling he could help. "You can come stay with me for a while", he offered.

And just like that- he found himself stepping into Justins small apartment. It was cramped, but it's all Justin could afford so he made it work. They lived together for month before Justin finally asked what his name was.

"Namjoon", he replied. "My name is Kim Namjoon, and I'm wanted for murder."

***

Some of the food in your fridge had spoiled. Just to prevent from wasting you walked miles away to the nearest neighbor and gave them all of your leftovers. It been a couple weeks since the guys had left, and you were feeling lost-empty. You knew who they were. You knew what people called him. You knew they were wanted by the government, but it didn't stop you from taking them in.

And even though they hadn't stayed long, it was hard to imagine what life was like without them- especially when you had already imagined a life with them.

When it was time to rest your head, you would walk by their rooms and whisper goodnight. But even though no one was there, the ghost of them always replied back, "goodnight, sweet dreams."

Every now and then you swear you hear laughing downstairs, the sound of Hoseok rolling around in the grassy field, or even the sound of Taehyung flipping the page of a good book. Every now and then, while making dinner, you feel a presence creep up behind you asking "Can I just have one bite? How will I know if it's good if I don't try it?" Jungkook loved to sneak bits of supper before it was ready.

The feeling made you queasy, and it brought tears to your eyes. It made you anxious, so you watched the new every night in hopes that they hadn't been caught. Because, even though they didn't want to stay with you, you sure as hell weren't going to let the researchers have them.

You had already made that mistake once before.

Your birthday party was absolutely amazing! Your friends were there, all of your family came. Even the gifts were memorable. However, something was missing. Your nine year old self couldn't put your finger on it, but something seemed off about that day. It felt as though you were at someone else's birthday party, like the party wasn't for you.

If wasn't until you got older that you realized that it was true- it wasn't technically your birthday party. It was your birthday- that part it true. However, the party was your father's. It was your father's friends, it was their children. They were never your friends. No one would even notice if you weren't there.

So you left.

By your house was a lake, a peaceful lake where all you could hear was the wind blowing through the trees. That's where you snuck off to that night. That's where you met Mina. She was a wolf- the most beautiful wolf you might ever have seen (the only wolf at that time). Her fur was pure white with specks of gray, and her eyes shimmered in the moonlight. One might've been afraid of her, but you certainly were not. She could tell.

"You come here often, Don't you?" The wolf could speak. For some reason, that didn't scare you either. "From the trees, I notice you come hear to wipe your tears. What's bothering you?"

"I'm alone", you whispered, audibly enough for her to hear. "I don't think I'm supposed to exist. All the signs point against it." You laid in the grass, picking piece to fiddle with. Telling your secrets to a total stranger wasn't the best option. But for you, it was the only option.

"Don't speak such words", she scolded. "Close your eyes. I wanna show you a secret."

You obeyed, shutting your eyes as tight as you could. Out of nowhere, great winds blew and the ground shook.

"Now, open."

She was gone. She vanished, right in front of you. The wolf had vanished, and what replaced it was even more beautiful. Her hair was silver. Her eyes were green. She clothed her self in leaves- fitted like a dress.

"Happy birthday, pup", she smiled. Your eyes began to shed tears. She was the first person to wish you happy birthday- Not even your parents did so.

"T-thank you", you sniffled. "I'm Y/n." She patted your head, the same way your mother once did. It was comforting. Here she was, a total stranger, and she's given you more attention than your mother has in a long time. It entranced you, to the point of laying your head on her

"I know", She sighed. "The nights not going so well, is it?"

You nodded. "When does it ever? I'm nine and feel like I'm an adult- so much I haven't done with so much responsibility."

Daciana was her name, a quite beautiful name. You told her all your fears and she held you close. She comforted you when no one else would.

You will never forgive yourself for what happened to her...

***

The cave was cold, almost icy. Jin wanted to light a fire but Joon was strongly against it. "That'll make us an easy target", he scolded.

Jimin laid flat on his back, having no neck or back support. He thought of you. What are you doing right now? What may you be wearing? He dreamed of the dinner you might be cooking.

Does she even care that we're gone?

Jungkook was trying his best to keep Hobi's fever down, but it continued to rise. Taehyung was in excruciating pain. Yoongi was absolutely delirious and Joon could hardly breathe, choosing the solid ground as the best place to rest.

"Joon, we can't go on like this", Jin begged. It hurt him to see his pack in so much pain. It hurt even more to know the cause of it was his pack alpha.

He heaved, trying to get back on his two feet with no avail. "What else can we do? The minute we think we're safe, we'll will be taken. You know this! Where can we possibly go?"

"Back home", Jimin mumbled, using the last bits of his energy. "I wanna go back home, to Y/n."

"Me too", Kook whispered just audible enough to hear. The rest of the pack agreed, sharing their sentiments- everyone except Namjoon. While everyone whined and groaned, he laughed exasperatedly.

"Are you guys serious? She would've turned us over to the authors the minute she found out who we really are! How many times do I have to tell you this? You cannot trust humans."

Jin was fed up. He was sick, exhausted, and lonely. And he was done following orders.

"What do you think you're doing?" The pack watched Jin as he put Jimin on his back, heading towards the entrance of the cave.

"We're going home, Joon..." Jimin struggled to keep his eyes open, but a smile was plastered on his face. It was hard to miss his excitement, even if it was a little hard for him to express. "Anyone who wants to come can come, but I'm tired of living in fear."

He continued, pointing towards his alpha. "Let me know when you're done too. You know where to find us."

And with that, the six pack member left the dark and empty cave, leaving Namjoon alone with his thoughts.

What am I gonna do now? He thought.

-

-

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[horanghaeluvsinniehae]

SKZ!BFF DRUNKLY CONFESSING PT.2 pt.1

||BANG CHAN||LEE MINHO||SEO CHANGBIN||HWANG HYUNJIN||HAN JISUNG||LEE FELIX||KIM SEUNGMIN||YANG JEONGIN||

You rushed to get off the bus and quickly walk home. You didn’t want to make him wait and you wanted to know if he really meant it all…

You arrived at your apartment and quickly put away your stuff and changed out of your clothes into some more comfortable ones.

You texted Bin that he can call you now and he didn’t waste a second, so you tapped the green button as soon as it popped up.

“Hi y/n!” You could hear how nervous he was.

“Hi Binnie!” You greeted him sweetly to let him know that everything’s gonna be okay.

“Y/nah before you say anything i want to say that i'm incredibly sorry for how i acted and it was very stupid of me and i hope you're not mad at me and we can stay friends…” His voice was full of regret and even if it was through the phone, you could hear how sincere he was.

“Oh Binnie, there’s nothing to be sorry about because I really like you too and I miss you a lot actually…but even if this wasn’t the confession you had in mind i don't mind that it happened like this over text. I’m just glad that you like me and that I don’t have to pretend like I'm not head over heels for you anymore.” You chuckled a bit and smiled to yourself.

However the other end was completely silent…there was an awkward silence and you started to think that Changbin didn’t mean what he wrote last night, but then his loud booming voice scared you.

“WOOOO Y/NAH I'M SO HAPPY YOU CAN'T IMAGINE OH MY GOSH! I HAD TO MUTE THE PHONES SO YOUR EARS WON'T BLEED BECAUSE OF MY CHEERING!” You heard and this instantly made you smile so big it hurt your cheeks.

“Will you be mine please?” He said in a signature cute changbin voice. You could basically see him infront of you.

“Of course I’ll be Changbinah!! Gosh I can't wait for you to get home!” You said and your brain already started creating the scenarios and you already felt like you’re going to explode if you don’t see him soon.

“Seriously thank you Y/nah im so so happy that you like me too!”

“Believe me Binnie i'm just as much happy to be with you!” You told him honestly.

“I have to go to rehearsal, love, but I’ll text you after yeah? You’ll probably be asleep so it’s okay if you won’t answer.” Binnie said with a bit of a sad tone but he was still so so happy.

“It’s alright Bin you’re an idol after all!” You tried to let him know that it’s totally understandable.

“Okay lovely sleep well please and thank you again!” He said and made kissing noises. You chuckled at his antics.

“And you have a good rehearsal Binnie! Bye bye talk to you later!” You made the kissing noises too and got very flustered. You were glad he couldn’t see your face right now.

“Bye byee” he said and hung up the phone.

After you just realised that you’re now dating THE Seo Changbin plus he called you love and lovely(!!) you screamed into the pillow next to you and you were just so unbelievably happy.

Hi guys! I hope you enjoyed this one too!! And if you have any suggestions/questions/requests feel free to tell me!<3

[mcyt-trios]

FINAL ROUND

PROPAGANDA:

3 Heart Trio:

theyre soo silly theyre just silly little guys who do things like mining an entire chunk in the center of the server's spawn for their own entertainment and to annoy everyone else

They are PATHETIC. They are ANNOYING. They are PERFECT. They are playing on three hearts and they die so much. They have a specialized raid platform that is NOT a raid farm. They are a team against exploits! Their base has 3 hearts above it representing them

these guys decided to put love and fun above all on the killing-lying server. while watching other teams betray and fall apart they have stuck with each other till the very last day of the server and never doubted one another. they worked like a clockwork, they knew they could only rely on themselves and at the end of the day, they didnt mind that it was that way

these guys got the short end of the stick time and time again throughout all of lifesteal s4, they were the targets of so many traps and attacks for no reason other than they were weak and always around. and despite it all they never wanted revenge and never held grudges! they cared about fun and friendship more than anything else, and while all the other teams ended up falling apart or betraying each other, these three stuck together from start to end. they didn't care about how many hearts they had, how much gear they had, or how powerful they were, because in the end all they needed was each other <3 i miss them so bad btw

Eclipse Federation:

i dont like them. they ruined my life. Subz and Vitalasy had already partnered in previous seasons but this one, Vitalasy ended up leaving for a few months, leaving Subz alone, and Zam ended up getting close to him after immense trauma at the hands of his former teammates. Zam has done SO many wrongs, including to Subz himself and Subz STILL took him in and made him join Eclipse Federation after Zam died 14 times in a row and got banned then revived by the same player who's been killing him all this time. And it could've been perfect but no, Zam had betrayed his previous team due to them using dupes via exploits, and now Eclipse Federation ALSO has exploits! And he decided that yeah his morals were more important than being loved! And so he murders Vitalasy when he's at his most vulnerable point, lets everyone gaslight him into thinking Vitalasy is an irredeemable evil monster who will never change, even as Vitalasy SAID he was ready to change before the betrayal even happened, Eclipse threw out their whole revenge plans because of Zam's positive influence and he just broke everything. Subz couldn't be with Zam but also couldn't see himself at Vitalasy's side, leaving him alone. Vitalasy hated Zam and yet never killed him or hunted him down, despite Zam acting like he did. And when Vitalasy left, banning himself off from the server, Zam had some time alone to think and realized he fucked up SOOOO bad. And Subz revived Vitalasy and told him to kill him. And ban him. His last wish. His Deliverance. And to make up with Zam. And Vitalasy tried, and they kind of did make up over Subz's death, but then Zam was like "actually im going to kill everyone and destroy the server now. because i want subz back and also because i always do extremely drastic things when i don't need to because i have unchecked mental illnesses i refuse to get help for". And surprisingly when Subz came back he didn't like that! And they ended in tragedy! Eclipse is fucked up. It's a trio that's always about the absence of one person, it's a team that could only happen in one timeline and it was doomed from the very start. But the love was there. It made everything worse, truthfully. But it was there. And that matters. Also as a fun fact Zam himself on twitter has referred to eclipse as a throuple, which is not canon but that's pretty funny. he also stated on stream he didn't want to get therapy because it'd ruin his lifesteal character. and there was a saga where they would "marry" (challenge lost kinda shenanigans) and zam was the only one happy about it. he's not normal. there's something wrong with him. love that for him though sorry for the block of text. I really dislike them. They're my beloveds :3

[c1oud999]

hi

i just wanted to come on here and talk about my experience with spirituality. warning: longggg post ahead.

basically ive been in the spiritual community for YEARS now. ive had existential crisis since the age of 11 and ive gone through many phases of many different spiritual trends. from law of attraction, to witchcraft, to religious devotion, to law of assumption and now finally non dualism. i read books, meditated for hours and hours, talked to spiritual ppl from all walks of life and watched all the episodes of ganga upanishad (a show i still highly recommend, you can watch on youtube). all this childhood trauma and mental illness made me crave for sweet relief. but nothing really made sense until law of assumption. i thought that that would be it yk. i thought i was done searching but i think that was when i was searching for things the most. i do know i have it in my 4d, when will i see it? i thought i would get all my desires but did not meet success. and then the non dualism trend began and i hopped onto it like pretty much everyone else. i was bewildered at the stuff teachers kept saying. what do you mean everything's an illusion? there's no way that's true. my very real surroundings are causing me VERY real pain and suffering. oh no no there must be a deeper meaning behind all this. and so i read all the books in 4dbarbies drive, but nothing clicked. yes it made sense intellectually, but i didnt want to believe it bc where is the materialisation satisfaction here? also i felt none of the euphoria that was supposed to come with self realisation. which means i must not be a realised being. and then i cried and cried and cried, isolated myself, literally stopped going to school and just lay in bed all day. but ofc, i continued to read the tumblr posts like i had been doing for the past several years. and yesterday i read 4dkelly's post about giving up. it made sense. by the time i had finished reading the post i had truly given up on everything. on wanting, hoping, fearing, striving etc etc. i was SO tired. so i gave up. fell asleep. i woke up really late as usual and missed the school bus. i ate breakfast in silence, switched the tv on and lied down on the couch like always. and like always out of compulsion and force of habit i reached for my phone and looked up non dualism on twitter. and then i came across a tweet that said a simple sentence only- "nothing is ever actually happening." woah. that kinda drove me to the edge of the cliff i desperately wanted to jump off. i turned on some dnb background music and turned the shower on. i stood under the boiling hot water like some dramatic bitch and started piecing together the "puzzle". it all made so much sense now. i got out of the shower and left the house for the first time in months with a cute outfit and makeup on and everything. i went to the mall, bought candles, stickers, eye masks, coffee, and a doughnut with absolutely no social anxiety at all. i sat by window, read some poetry on my e-reader, cried, peered down at the floor below me and cried some more at the sight of little kids sitting on santa's lap and taking pictures and marveled at all the christmas decorations around me. it was insane. i decided i was going to be neutral towards everything but im in love. maddeningly so. in love with this dream that i thought did not love me back. but love is all there is. I AM ALL THERE IS. and i need you to take this literally. there is nothing happening. there is nothing here except you. nothing to fear, nothing to desire. ik a lot of people are going to dismiss this post because it's not a "materialisation success story" but i honestly dont think i can ever want anything physically bc in all its true essence, what is there to materialise? i am already whole and complete. i am lying on this cold hard floor, but i have never felt warmer. also ik there may be a lot of things ive written you might not agree with but again, this is NOT REAL. I AM. i hope this post helps you.

thank you to all the blogs ive come across and all the pointers they have shared: @se1f @realisophie @itgomyway @4dkellysworld @4dbarbie-backup @infiniteko @iamthat-iam and many more i cannot thank enough.

lots and lots of love (more than you can ever imagine), and good luck.

[st4rgzer]

MATT BUT ITS THE AUDIO I SENT U

UNREQUITED PT. 2 matt sturniolo

summary: pt 2 of unrequited love, you make some plans that take a turn for the worse

genre: PURE angst

cw: mentions of self deprecation, flirty jokes

a/n: for my lobe, @iha8you , hope you enjoy it, sorry for what happened again, fuck him!

Its been 2 months since i started distancing myself from the triplets and anything involving them, more precisely, matt.

Of course they noticed, i have more than 11 missed called from nick, not trusting my messages saying “im fine, just busy, ttyl” Im never like that, not with them at least. Today I’ve made up my mind, im going to put my silly feelings aside and hang out with my friends, its was i need, it’ll do me good, i know it will. They pick me up from my house, the drive to theirs being the most awkward thing in the world, worse than telling a server at a restaurant “you too!” In response to “enjoy your food”, yeah. No one said a word, that was the worst, its everyone expected someone to say something but no one dared to break the silence. I think I could see matt smirk in the rear view mirror, I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion, did he find this amusing? We arrived home a few minutes after, which felt like an eternity. I undid my seatbelt and we all went to the front door, waiting for nick to get the keys, he fiddled with them, trying to open the door

“Whenever you want nick” Chris said sarcastically, annoyance visible in his voice, as he always did when he bickered with his brother. Eventually, he got the door open and we all got set up inside, I sat on the couch with nick next to matt and chris.

“Do y’all wanna watch a movie or…?” Nick said looking around, everyone nodded, including me, I would rather just watch a movie then have to talk. I cleared my throat and crossed my legs, getting comfortable. Nick got up after putting on a scary movie and went to get some drinks and snacks

“I’ll come help you!” Chris exclaimed, he probably just wanted to make sure no one got his pepsi, but whatever. I come to the realization me and matt are alone on the sofa, the movie is paused, we glance at eachother awkwardly, even if we never argued or said anything about how i felt, we both knew something was up, he was the first one to break the silence.

“Hey you can talk to me you know, you act like you love me or something” he laughed off, my stomach dropped, did he know? No, that’s impossible. I laughed along.

“No I’ve just, just been really busy and-“ i get cut off. “C’mon don’t tell me that bullshit, I know you haven’t been THAT busy to hang out with your favorite friends” he said rolling his eyes, he hit my shoulder playfully. He touched my shoulder. I looked down, trying to find a better excuse, or hoping that he’d just let it slide.

“Well, I’m just reall-” saved by the bell. “LOVEBIRDSSS got the popcorn, drinks, and ready for another hour of edward scissorhands” Nick said placing the popcorn onto the table, crossing his legs over the couch, and grabbing the remote. I let out a sigh of relief, matt looked over at me and huffed, im sure he’ll forget. Chris put his feet over matt’s lap and sipped his soda.

After the movie ended, it was fenomenal as always by the way, we got to talking, great.

“So y/n, what have you been up to? We really haven’t seen you at all these months” Chris spoke between handfuls of popcorn. Nick nodded along

“Well i-“ I glanced over at matt, he was looking at me, of course he would, im speaking, what am i even saying? “I’ve had a heavy month of recording and editing videos, im in the middle of looking for a new editor, AND im getting my drivers license, so yeah, pretty bus- occupied…” I explained to them, half of that was true, i WAS looking for a new editor, just not actively doing so, and i AM getting my license, just not till January…but they bought it, which is the important part.

“Well we’ve all missed you around here” nick scooched next to me. I smiled in return.

“Yeah especially matt” Chris said suggestively, prolonging the word matt in a singsongy voice. Im sure he didn’t mean it that way, was he mocking me?. Matt just rolled his eyes.

“Sure, well im not the one who’s in love with me” he smirked at me, I scoffed, again? Really? Its like everyone is in on a big inside joke but me, and i hate it.

Nick notices my discomfort and diverts the attention from me.

“Hey how about we call Alanha and Madi and we go to Mcdonalds or something” he suggested. “Yeah that sounds great!” I responded, the other two agreed in unison, and we left the previous subject alone, thank god.

As we pulled up to Alanha’s house, Madi and her went out of the door and got into the backseat next to me and Nick, we squeezed in all we could, we laughed about it a bit, it was a relief to see them really, Madi was the only one, along with some other gfs, that knew about it.

“Y/n! Its so good to see you, its been forever” Alanha side hugged me, with difficulty in the cramped car.

“Yeah i know, its good to see you guys too” I smiled at both of them, the car ride to the Mcdonalds drive thru was short, thankfully. Matt lowered the music as the speaker took our order, everyone whispering theirs to him, he remembered my order. We pulled into the parking lot, sorting out all the food.

We decided to eat out in the car park, it was dark so there was no one there, so it was quiet and peacful, we were eating our food and making jokes, Matt kept on slipping little flirty remarks but I ignored them, after all, he was just making fun of me.

“Fuck arent you guys cold?” Madi shivered, rubbing her hands together, it was chilly but we all had at least a hoodie on.

“Here, im warm from all the food” Matt took off his hoodie. He handed it over to her. She put it on. “oh” i thought.

All the sounds around me kind of tuned down, furrowing my eyebrows and snapping myself out of my state, my breathing got a little heavier, i shook my head. Why was a being so dramatic? For the love of god, he just gave her his hoodie, its not like he declared his undying love for her or something, either was it still hurt a little, im lying, it hurt a lot. Madi put her hands in the pocket of Matt’s black ransom hoodie, she smiled and the conversation carried on, but I wasn’t paying attention

“Y/n? Y/n are you theree?” Nick waved a hand in front of my face.

“Sorry I just zoned out there for a sec” I laughed somehow, I didn’t know if it was really visible in my face how upset I was.

“Oh im sorry did you want my hoodie” Matt joked, everyone else laughed along, it was an innocent little joke for them, i get it. I bit the inside of my cheek, he took my feelings as a hilarious thing, as if I was the kings jester. I breathed in, trying not to let the stinging feeling of tears in my eyes win over, I didn’t wanna be the one to say they wanted to go home, so i just waited, not participating in the conversation, but laughing and nodding along at the right times to not raise any suspicions, eventually, Alanha said she had to be up early in the morning, if we could go home, so we did.

“Guys just drop me off here” I sighed, getting out of the car, waving little goodbyes to all of them. Another successful night, drained, the only comfort being my bed and being enveloped by my fluffy sheets. Another night wondering if there’s something wrong with me, and another night realizing once again that hope is, indeed, a dangerous thing for someone like me to have.

a/n: everyone say “fuck you danny!” 🙂🙂 @iha8you

should i do a taglist or something?😭 tell me if u dont wanna be on this

@dwntwn-strnlo @oneirophobic @20nugs @mettsturniolo @iha8you @lvrsparadise @gabbylovesreading

[mikalame]

heyy !! can you do headcannons of how it would be if you’ve been tom’s celeb crush since he was like 14 and then at an award show when u guys are 16 you meet?😋

My celebrity crush

Bill had been doing toms head in all day while they were at band practice, he had just wanted to come home, sit down mabey even take a nap but nooo bill just had to keep talking.

Tom walked down the stairs with a glare on his face, he just wanted bill to shut up for once, bill had started screeching again about something but before tom could tell him to shut up again his ears picked up a name.

"___ _____"

You have been toms favourite celebrity since he could put names to faces, he had posters on you stapled around his side of the room he shares with bill.

Tom bolted down stairs once he finished thinking pushing bill off of the couch and sitting in his spot, he grabbed the remote and turned to volume up not wanting to miss a moment of what ever you were saying

"Hey To-" "shut up bill" tom interrupted, waving his face in front of bill face eyes never parting from the screen, "Bu-" "BILL IS SAID SHUT UP" He yells, bill just had to talk when you were gosh. "MOMMMM" bill yells, tom cant even be bothered to make a face or say anything only causing a fit when the T.V gets unplugged.

Tom runs up to the shared room locking bill out, as the younger boy pounded on his door tom could only look at one of your posters, he whispers

"We will meet, i promise"

TIME SKIP

"AND THE BEST TEEN OF 2005 IS..... ___ ____!" the awards person yells into the speaker holding up the award, cheers and applause are echoing though the hall as they all turn to the girl as she walks down the aisle.

"Tom look" Georg says taking the headphone out of the boys ear, turning his head to the girl walking down to collect her award. Tokio hotel wasn't nominated for the award but they still went to get some publicity.

Tom immediately recognised the girl her h/c flowing nice down her back the dress she was wearing matched with the shoes she had on as she walked on the stage, shaking hands with the guy a she give a speech.

He wasn't paying attention to what you were saying all the words just seemed to be muddled together, the way you look so put togther made tom's feelings for you to rush up and paired with the teasing from the others made his face go bright red, causing him to hide his face in his hands.

When he get the courage to look up again, scared you will be gone if he doen't look back quick enough, you and him make complete eye contact, though you keep talking while looking at him a smirk and slight blush creeping over your face.

When you step down and walk back to your seat, you look at him again smiling oh-so sweetly before sitting down whisper talking to the people around you.

Before he can register what happend he was getting pulled up by bill and dragged out with the others.

"Whoa, were we going, what happened" he gasps as he trys to straighten his walk "Were rushing to the after party, try get some more publicity, you can go talk to ___ tho" he teases before walking off he he turns around "lets hope she forgets about you turning into a tomato" he laughs.

Tom rolls his eyes at his brother as he squishes past the bodys filing through the door, he gets to the bar and orders a coke and redbull, sitting on the stool he looks over the peopels heads

he sees Georg chatting up some bloak with a beer in his hand, laughing about something, Gustav playing poker with some broad shouldered guy, and bill having an interview with some lady.

"Hey, Tom Kaulitz right" he hears a familar voice next to him, turning his head he did not exspeact to see ___, right away his eyes went wide as he stutters out an answer

"Oh-uhm y-yeah" He thinks about what he just said critisizing everything about it "Oh its nice to meet you im pretty sure yk who i am so no need for that ahah" she jokes taking the seat next to the boy.

While she oreder a drink, tom just stares at her he cant belive that ___ is sitting, talking or even breathing the same air as him right now.

"So Tokio Hotel, right hows it in the music indrusty?" she asks sipping her drink through the straw they gave her "Oh yeah its okay pretty slow at the moment" he answer trying to be a tad bit more serous "oh yeah" she relipes

The two spent the rest of the evening talking ,laughing and making jokes about everything together she had even put her hand on his shoulder a couple of times, making toms face blushing causing her to start giggling.

She flips open her phone to check the time and gasps when she sees it 1:00am "Oh shit i got to go, i guess time does fly by when your having fun, Oh tom could i get your number" she asks casually as she rummages through her bag looking for some money to pay the tab.

Tom stutters out an answer and hands her back the phone after typing in the pin "Okay well thanks for a great night tom, hope to see you soon" she says before giving him a kiss on the cheek, blending into the crowd when he looks back.

"Wow, dreams come true huh tom" bill says standing next to him a smug expression on his face

"Oh shut up bill" He groans

Hope you likeee

taglist @oppopotamus @violentnewmarley @saumspam @adissonsss

[viathecloset]

Taehyung and jungkook's relationship is overlooked by 90% of the fandom solely because they are so controlled by the narrative of the fandom/company that they cannot quite accept that anything outside is even a remote possibility. Ive been more of a quiet observer for years now [my sister's an army since 2015] and I've seen the boys, moreover I know how marketing and kpop works. It's quite evident if u observe close enough of the pattern on how this group of seven guys who genuinely love music is marketed you would understand to what extent you're being brainwashed. Im not talking about this like a conspiracy theorist. It's quite simple and right infront of you. Yall refuse to accept it that's all.

1. There are a certain set of stories that are made to be told by them, over and over again. Even if it disturbs them or they are bored. E.g: 2018 disbandment story, vmin dumpling incident, jikook rain fight/tokyo trip, mind you there are many things that happend between people who lived together for 10+ yrs but if it cuts the flow of events you are made to believe happened you aren't gonna hear from it, ever.

2. Like stories there are dynamics that each pair is supposed to portray Taegi as annoying/annoyed duo, taejin/jikook as flirty HS boyfriends, namseok/taekook the awkward old friends and no matter how much the relationships change or evolve you won't see it cuz again, it won't FIT the narrative that has already been shown.

3. Like relationships there are characteristics that thankfully some members chose to break out of during their solo era: hoseok always being sunshine and loud ( he's quite serious and very dedicated infact ), jungkook being that muscle dude who only knows how to follow his Hyungs ( he's very independent and has a lot of targets he wants to achieve individually, he's very thoughtful and organized) and Taehyung being WEIRD and weak ( he's extremely intelligent and super strong he's strategic and disciplined)

4. This brings us to the whole Taekook narrative, the fact that they've been seen so much during solo era yet people had the audacity to still call them distant and awkward solely cuz it wasn't via company but through Taehyung's ig or jungkook mentioning him in interviews etc. I think it's needless to say they aren't comfortable being touchy and showy on camera for content, hell if they were to shoot everytime Taehyung and jungkook hangout there would he enough CONTENT till 2067. They're supportive of eo and have a very big shared friend circle, when jungkook went missing for almost 2 months we got to know Taehyung was the one he was with.

5. The thing is everyone [ including my own sister ] thinks that Taehyung is being desperate or such whenever he mentions Taehyung cuz a. Yall have actually led jokers run so fucking rampant that everytime the man mentions him actually doing something you're ready to throw him under the bus and call him a liar or such. b. Im not saying jungkook isn't close to anyone else but when he isn't working or shooting content and just wants to be himself the one you saw him most was around Taehyung and yes it matters. In the name of hating shippers yall have not only dissed the quite frankly PRIVATE bond they seem to share but went as far as dissing Taehyung himself cuz of the extreme level of manipulation yall are under.

Ik imma find armys [jikookers ]under this sooner or later calling me names but to be honest I'm sick and tired of yall dissing very real people and their very real human relationships solely based off the content yall are made to believe is 100% candid. Go touch grass, get friends, go date, don't obsess over them for a while then come back and try seeing it from a neutral perspective.

[cloudcountry]

I wanted to ask why you hated Idia so much back then and the reason you adore him?

im gonna start telling people to pay me whenever they ask why i hate(d) idia because ive got this question easily 20 different times and frankly i'm losing money by not accepting payment

im not writing all that again i'm so tired of explaining it over and over ughhhh its not your fault min its just i seem to be a skipping record with how often i've had to repeat the same thing over and over and over for a YEAR and people just KEEP ASKING like ok you want to know about my relationship with idia shroud PAY UP!!!!!

anyways...i havent written about the things i adore about him yet so...

first first first!! the thing that made me gasp the softest gasp i have ever gasped in my life when i first saw it...his pink hair. its a bit superficial i guess but now that i like idia i think he's stunning. he's so hauntingly beautiful, especially when he's just a little bit flustered and the tips of his hair turn pink. what i would do to see his whole head turn pink PLEASE.

i also think his smile is so silly, even though it's usually accompanied by his smug ass voice "should'a leveled up more!" SHUT UP!!!!! i love his sharp teeth theyre so goofy nd silly but in a cute way. honestly i think his scowl is cute too, idk maybe i just like his lips but watching them twist up in annoyance when he rolls his eyes is attractive to me dont ask i dont know either. does that say something about me? maybe. i'm content with not knowing.

onto less superficial things...i just finished reading book six yesterday and it struck me how idia's heart is genuinely so beautiful. he loves so gently and fully, but with devotion that would destroy the world if he let it loose. being loved and treasured by idia is a privilege, because once he lets you in he would do anything for you (just dont fuck it up or i will beat you up im being so serious LEAVE HIM ALONE)

the extent to which he cares for ortho is so beautiful and so heartbreaking. "leave it to your big bro" im dead. everything he does is for ortho to have a safe and fulfilling life and honestly...it kind of seems like idia is trying to pay ortho back in a sense? like you died (because of me), now i will spend the rest of my life mourning you as punishment. he wants to give him the best life possible and thats just so ourgourgouhgohou,,,, his grieving is so complex and yet its so simple. heartbreaking i tell you.

on a lighter note, he's very passionate about the things he's into as well. one thing about figuring our how to like idia was turning my reaction to his condescending jabs from "oh he's such a know it all bitch what the hell people are literally just indulging in his interests what is wrong with him?" TO "oh he's just excited and getting an adrenaline rush, it's going to his head. he's happy. :)" and that was absolutely growth on my part because. ok AUBURN LORE TIME but i used to have a friend who was very condescending and a HUGE know it all (irl IRL IRL) and i think they definitely impacted how i saw idia because i saw bits of them in him. and since they hurt me so much i projected my experiences with them onto idia, so the first time i met him in game i wrote him off immediately and hated him after i saw what he said to others and how he acted.

but one of the many problems with that approach was that i missed the gentler sides of him. the way he goes back to school for ortho. the way he powers through the masquerade social for ortho. his idea of yuu being "valuable emotional support." his love of cats, regardless of how bad he scared grim. his love of star rogue and the way he made the sequel actually happen, albiet unintentionally. i spent so much time resenting him because "of course he's just another one of those." that i didn't stop to notice anything about him except for those bad moments. and of course, i'm not ignoring them now, i just see them differently. i see him differently.

of course i love that he's relatable, and that he's smart, and i love how when he's comfortable he loses his filter and becomes idia shroud instead of just being Scared of them, but i think that's just. social anxiety. and yk what ive said this before but even when i hated him i would NOT stand for anyone coming for his anxiety. like yeah i hate idia shroud but BITCH GET AWAY FROM HIM. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ANXIETY IS LIKE!!! put me in nrc right now idia shroud needs someone who will yell at people for him and thats going to be ME. i dont care who you are you say shit you are earning my IRE. trey clover got yelled at. no one is safe.

can i just say i love how you said "reason" like there's only one JDSJSDJSD LMAO IDK IT WAS JUST FUNNY TO ME when i love someone i have multiple reasons and i love every part of them, even the bad annoying icky parts (in fact, if you can't love their bad parts too is it even love...? i dont know, we all have different definitions anyway. some might think tolerating their bad parts is love too and we'd both be right.) theres no one reason i just think he's lovely inside and out now. he's an angel, basically.

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

Aaron Hotchner x Teen Son reader

Summary: The Unsub is a school shooter and goes to Y/N Hotchners high school, He is taken as a hostage.

Third person pov...

It was early morning for the Hotchners, Aaron had been awake for hours waiting for his two sons to wake up, the man was currently in the kitchen drinking coffee and making breakfast for them.

Usually Aaron would be at work but he hasn't been called in yet for a case so he had time to spend with his sons before they went to school.

By 7.30 Aaron could hear his sons getting up, The man smiled and set the two plates of pancakes on the table.

Suddenly the sounds of his 7- and 14-year-olds running down the stairs made Hotch realise how much of their lives he missed while going on cases so much.

"Jack be careful don't jump" came Y/Ns voice from the hallway, the 14year old smiles and shakes his head at Jack as he jumps down the remaining stairs.

Jack only laughs and ran into the kitchen, the young boy gasps when he sees his dad there.

"daddy! Your still here!" exclaimed the ball of energy, leaping into Hotch opens arms, the man laughs as he catches Jack.

"hey Jackie" he exclaims with the same amount of enthusiasm, Y/N then walks in the 14 year olds stands by the door and looks at his dad, he hasnt seen his dad for most of week.

"no cases today" he says in the same tone Haley would when Hotch got a new case, the mans eyes lose there spark as he thought about his late wife and comparing her with Y/N.

The boy acts so much like his Mum, Hotch looks up at the teen. "yes actually, its mainly paperwork today so no cases, now come on and eat" says the agent ushering both sons to the table to eat.  

The 14 year old rolls his eyes but sits in the chair offered to him and begins to eat the plate of pancakes, while Jack pours sugar and syrup all over his.

Hotch continues to drink his coffee as his sons eat their pancakes and finish getting ready for school, soon the bus arrived for both boys. 

"see you boys later!" yells Hotch from the door as Y/N and Jack go to school. "bye daddy!" yells Jack while he got no response from Y/N.

As he was the oldest Hotch relied on his eldest alot such as helping to look after Jack and helping his mum around the house when Haley was still with them.

Before and after Haley died, the 14 year old never saw his dad alot, once his parents got divorced that number plummeted into the negatives, now 2 years later hes still getting used to seeing his dad again.

After everything that happened all three Hotchners were healing, Once Y/N arrived at his high school, he made his way to his homeroom and sat next to his friends. "morning guys" he said high fiving them, "Hey Hotch!" yelled his Tony.

Y/N glared at him, furrowing his eyebrow and looking alot like his das without realising. "dont call me that, thats not my name" he said, his friends stared a t him, he had never gotten this angry before when they called him Hotch.

Y/Ns teacher then appeared and started home room, Y/N sat in his chair and stared out the window, he had a feeling something was going to happen today he just didnt know what.

Hours later..

"Hey N/N you playin'" yelled Alex throwing a football to Y/N, the teen catches it with a smile, "in a bit, gotta run to the bathroom quickly!" exclaims the teen throwing back the ball and running back into the building.

Once he was done with his business he walked out of the stall and over to the sinks to wash his hands, As he did he felt his phone buzz, sighing he dried his hands and leant against the sinks and read the message.

It was from his dad, Y/N rolls his eyes “of course always checking up, im not a kid anymore dad, not like you could tell the difference” Mumbles the boy, as he was grumbling to himself another boy walked out of the stall he was from Y/Ns class.

Y/N scoffs and goes to put his phone away but gets distracted by the photo on his lockscreen, it was off his last family picture with both parents and Jack, he stares at it until the boy next to him looks over.

“your family?” asks the guy motioning to the screen, Y/N looks down and smiles sadly. “yeah it was” he said softly, know one except his friends and classmate know about what happened to his family.

Y/N the waves bye to the boy and walks out of the bathrooms and walking outside to the field. As he walked he was suddenly grabbed from behind.

“Oi let go” he yelled attracting the attentions off students and teachers in the hallway, as he struggles he feels the cold metal of a gun being pressed into his back stilling him.

He froze, having flashbacks of his Mum being shot by Foyet two years ago. “oh shit” he mumbles before he hears a familiar voice speak, it was the student from the bathroom.

“please stop struggling, don’t you understand we are the same” he says, pushing the gun harder into Y/Ns back making him wince from the pain. “we aren’t the same!” exclaims Y/N before he was taken to the Lunch hall.

A gun shot rang out effectively silencing the room, the shooter still held Y/N tightly while using his gun to get every one onto the floor and under tables. Before long the police, FBI where outside waiting to get the okay to go in.

“you don’t have to do this!” exclaims Y/N making the guy look down at him anger in his eyes, both boys had a similar background working dads who are never home, mothers whoscant deal with it all and younger siblings.

Y/N then groans in pain as the guy hits him with the bottom of his gun effectively making Y/N stop struggling, blood falls from thw cut on his forehead and into Y/Ns E/C eyes. ‘come on dad where are you’ though Y/N to himself.

Suddenly the door bursts open and in come Aaron Hotchner and his team, Y/N sighs in relief ‘finally you’re here for me Dad’ though Y/N.

The boy locks eyes with his Dad before shouting “finally Dad took you long enough!” this made the unsub angry and holds Y/N tighter making him groan in pain. “Andrew Holt, stay where you are and drop the gun” yells Hotch.

With 6 guns trained on him Andrew didn’t even flinch. “No I have to do this you don’t understand none of you do” he yelled tears in his eyes as he kept his gun on Y/N.

The teen didn’t even flinch as he tried to turn around to face Andrew. “they don’t but I do, remember when you saw the picture, that was taken years ago when my family were happy, before my Dad got even busier with work, when my Mum was still alive. Like you I rarely get to see my dad because of his job, he barely knows me you know how that feels right” yells Y/N going on a rant

As he kept on ranting Hotch listens and realised just how much his job effected his relationships with his sons. ‘is this how he feels’ though the man, He watches as the Unsub lowers his gun and drops in onto the floor eyes watching Y/Ns face for lies.

Y/N looks at Andrew sadly as the boy breaks down and falls to his knees, Y/N holds him tightly as his lets out his emotions.

Outside Y/N finally gets sway from the medics as they bandage his forehead, the boy is searching for his dad, when he sees the man he sprints over to him.

Hotch was talking to the team before something runs into him already knowing it was Y/N Hotch quickly turned around and hugs the boy tightly. “are you okay son?” he asks Concerned as his sons squeezes him.

Y/N looks up at his dad and gives him a smile the first once in years. “I am now Dad” he whispers content on hugging his dad.

The end!

Hope you liked this oneshot, so sorry for the wait I haven’t had the motivation.

So sorry for the grammar and spelling mistakes as usual

Request are Open!

Word count: 1403

[bwabys-scenarios]

Fixer Upper

Part 16

Perv!Kurapika x Fem!Reader

part 15

part 17

!!REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED!!

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(Name) opened her door, a smile on her face. “Poks, Poni! Welcome!”

The two walked in, looking around her less than impressive apartment. “Oh, wow… it’s certainly an apartment.”

Pokkle elbowed the blue haired girl, who coughed before speaking up. “What I mean is, this place is lovely.”

“Thanks Poni, but I know it… average? I mean at East there’s no pests. My last apartment had a bad rat problem.”

They both grimaced.

“Yeah, they were like the size of my arm. Thought of keeping one as a pet. I mean, they were dog sized.”

“Dog s- never mind. We brought some gifts.”

(Name) gasped when they pulled out a gift basket and pot of flowers. “Guys, you shouldn’t have!”

She placed the basket on her counter, before looking at the pot of flowers. “What are these?”

Ponzu smiled, her bees flying around the small red flowers. “They’re poppies, Poppy!”

“Poppy?”

The two smiled at her. “Yeah, it’s your nickname. You call us Poks and Poni, so we’re gonna call you poppy!”

(Name) laughed. “Oh really? Is there a reason for that name specifically?”

———————

(Name) packed her suitcase yet again after seeing off her two friends. ‘I’m going to miss them…’

She pulled her suitcase towards the airport, where she’d be meeting Gon and Killua.

It was early July, and the two had asked her to join them on whale island to catch up and train.

“(Name)!”

She gasped when she felt someone jump onto her back. “G-Gon?”

He laughed, hugging her from behind as she tried not to fall over. “Hey, did you miss me?”

The weight on her back disappeared as she heard yelling from behind her. “Gon, you idiot you can’t just jump on people!”

“Killua!”

She turned around and pulled the two boys into a hug. “I missed you both so much. My sweet boys!”

Gon laughed, Killua halfheartedly swatting her away. “Let’s get boarded, and we can talk then!”

(Name) nodded slowly as they explained what happened in Heavens Arena. “You fought Hisoka? Gon…”

She patted his cheek, the boy leaning into her touch. “I’m okay, (Name). It was a… learning experience.”

(Name) sighed before leaning back in her seat. “I understand you want to get stronger, Gon, but please be careful.”

Gon nodded. “I promise I’ll be careful!”

They arrived on whale island after around 2-4 days of travel.

“Wow, it’s been such a long time since I’ve stood on my home ground! Ahh, the air smells so good!”

The two sniffed the air as (Name) pulled her suitcase behind them. “So, where’s your house?”

“We gotta take a bus to your house, right?”

“There aren’t any buses!”

(Name) hummed as she walked around, stopping by a market stall. She bought some bread and cheese, walking back to the two boys as they continued talking.

“It’ll take all night to get there? What are we going to eat?”

Gon held up his apple, and (Name) laughed. “Well good thing I grabbed extra.”

The three walked along the river, eating the food (Name) got along with the apples the captain gave them.

Early the next morning, the three spotted Gon’s house. (Name) trailed behind them, Gon pulling her suitcase.

“Aunt Mito, I’m back!”

Aunt Mito waved at them from the porch, (Name) sighing in relief. ‘Oh thank god.’

Killua and (Name) blinked when Gon sprinted off to hug Aunt Mito. They watched as they chatted for a moment, then Aunt Mito looked up.

“Oh, are these two friends of yours?”

“Yeah, we met during the Hunter Exam! She’s (Name), and he’s Killua!”

Aunt Mito smiled at the two. “Oh right, the ones your wrote about in your letter!”

(Name) gave them a polite greeting. “Hello, thank you so much for allowing us to stay.” she elbowed killua to get him to give a greeting as well.

“Hello…”

“Gon this is the first time you’ve ever brought home some friends to visit! (Name), Killua, right? I’m Gon’s Aunt Mito, I hope you two feel right at home!”

They followed her inside, (Name) setting her suitcase by the door. The two peeked inside it, both having places their extra clothes in as well.

“I really wish you would have let me know before hand you were coming home, I could of prepared something.” Aunt Mito said with a sigh, taking out ingredients.

(Name) hovered around the kitchen, feeling a bit useless.

“Whatever you’ve got is fine!” Gon said, grabbing (Name)’s hand and pulling her towards the living room.

“Well you knows it’s not every day we have guests in the house!”

“No, really, it’s fine.” Killua replied to Aunt Mito.

“I could help if you need it, I promise!” (Name) said, peeking into the kitchen again. Aunt Mito waves her off.

“You’re a guest dear, you just relax, I’m sure the journey here was tough on you.”

(Name) twiddled her thumbs, the two boys standing on either side of her.

“Now that you mention it we are kind of hungry. We’ve been walking since last night, so yeah!” Gon said, leaning his head against (Name)’s arm.

“Well I guess that explains why you three are so dirty. (Name) why don’t you go take a bath in my room? Gon, Killua, you two can use the big bathroom down the hall.”

“Wait right now?”

“Yes, just leave me your clothes. I’ll wash them later.”

(Name) gave her a polite nod before walking towards the room she pointed to.

After a nice shower, she walked back to the kitchen, sitting at the table. “Miss Mito, are you sure there’s nothing I can do to help?”

“Just Mito is fine, and it’s almost ready. You could help set the table, though!”

(Name) jumped up at this. “On it!”

Killua and Gon walked into the room, both now clean and wearing different clothes. The girl couldn’t help but squeeze their cheeks. “Aww, I think this is the first time I’ve seen you both all nice and clean.”

She gave them a hug before continuing her work. Killua followed behind her like a lost puppy, occasionally jumping back when she’d turn around.

‘Haha, he doesn’t want her to know he’s following her!’ Gon thought, snickering.

(Name) helped Mito set the table, patting Killua’s head as she took her seat. “Hungry?”

He nodded slowly, (Name) giggling at his excited face.

“This tastes great!” Killua said, happily munching on an omelette. (Name) nodded in agreement.

“You think so?”

“I told you Aunt Mito’s cooking is the best in the world!”

“Mito, you’ve got to show me how you got these omelettes to be so fluffy!”

The red haired woman laughed, basking in the compliments. “Of course!”

As they ate, Mito passed out more food,

“Here, try these.”

Killua stared at the red peppers, picking them off his plate and placing them on another.

“Killua! You really shouldn’t pick at your food like that. Don’t you know red peppers are good for you? You should at least try it.”

“Ahaha, actually I’m not really a big fan of these. Sorry.”

“Oh good, at least you’re not allergic to them! They’re delicious. Go ahead and take a bite, you’ll know what I mean.”

“She’s right Killua. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Ahh! Mom, quick, get a towel!”

———————

The two left to go play in the forest nearby, leaving (Name) with Aunt Mito.

“So, how was your experience with the Hunter Exam?”

(Name) sighed, sitting down in front of her. “Exhausting, but…”

She glanced down at her phone’s Home Screen, smiling to herself. “I met a lot of important people there. Gon and Killua included. You raised a really sweet boy, Mito.”

Mito laughed, handing her a cup of tea. “I would hope so. Tell me, what was he like during the exam? He wouldn’t tell me everything, and I would like to know more.”

(Name) told her as much information as she could without potentially getting her younger friend in trouble. Mito nodded along, giggling when she saw how hot (Name)’s face got when she talked about Kurapika.

“So, this Kurapika… you like him, don’t you?”

(Name) sighed, hiding her flushed face. “Is it that easy to tell?”

Mito laughed. “Yes, it is. He must be quite special to have caught the attention of a sweet girl like you.”

They talked into the evening, and this time Mito allowed (Name) in the kitchen to help her cook. She taught her several tips and tricks, (Name) writing each one down.

The two boys got back all dirty again, being scolded and told to go take another bath. After that, they all ate dinner together.

“Time for bed, you two. I’ll be up in a moment, okay?”

Mito blinked when the two immediately listened to (Name)’s words. After the two were out of sight, (Name) realized what she’d done. “Oh, sorry Mito! I’ve just gotten used to taking care of them.”

“No, please don’t be sorry for that. I can’t tell you how thankful I am knowing Gon had someone like you by his side during the Hunter Exam.”

They shared a smile, before (Name) got up and stretched. “I should be getting to bed too. First I need to go say goodnight to both of them.”

She waved to Mito before walking to their shared room.

“(Name)!”

Gon was about to leap out of bed to greet her, but stopped when she shook her head. “Wait there, I’m coming.”

(Name) sat down beside him and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Goodnight, Gon. Sweet dreams.”

“Goodnight, (Name)!”

She move on to Killua, who was impatiently waiting for her. She gave him a peck on the forehead. “Goodnight, Killua. Sweet dreams…”

She gave him another forehead kiss when he pouted at her. “And one more for good luck!”

The white haired boy swatted her away halfheartedly again, (Name) laughing. “Oh, I get it, you want me to go, huh?”

She stood up, about to leave before Killua grabbed her arm. She glanced back at him inquisitively, the boy unsure why he’d done that himself.

“… could you stay a little longer? Just until we fall asleep?”

(Name) took a second to register this request. ‘Where did this come from?’

Nevertheless, she sat back down, the boy snuggling up onto her lap. She hummed quietly as she ran her fingers through his hair.

Unbeknownst to them, Mito watched the scene from outside the door. ‘How cute…’

———————

(Name) woke up when she felt someone kick her. “Ow…”

She blinked her eyes open to see killua snuggled up against her, having kicked her in his sleep. ‘Did I fall asleep in the boys room?’

She attempted to get up, but the boy clinging to her grumbled at that. She glanced at the window to see it was still night time, maybe early morning. (Name) settled back into bed, making herself comfortable before going back to sleep.

“Alright boys, (Name), it’s time to get up!”

“Yes, Aunt Mito!”

Killua and (Name) groaned when the boy shook them. “Wake up!”

The sun peaked in through the window, shining down on the pair. Night was over, and (Name) had to use the bathroom.

“Okay, Killua, you gotta let go of me now.”

The boy didn’t answer, only cuddling into her closer. “Gon, can I get some help here?”

Gon ran over and grabbed Killua, pulling him away so (Name) could escape. She watched in amusement as the boy searched for her in his sleep, handing him a pillow to be her substitute.

After using the bathroom, she returned to the boys room to make sure Killua was up. He was, but barely. (Name) opened up her suitcase and laid out a pair of clothes for him to change into before going to her own room to unpack.

She unlocked her phone, scrolling to Kurapika’s contact and attempting to call him.

‘Oh, no service…’

For some reason, this made her… nervous. She would be alright going a few days without speaking to him because she knew it was because she didn’t have any service.

But he wouldn’t know.

Kurapika paced, his nen master raising an eyebrow an eyebrow at his unusual behavior. “What’s up with you, Kurapika? You’re acting strange.”

The blonde huffed, pulling his phone out and glancing at the time. On whale island, it should be around 10 am, and they usually called at 8 am her time every morning.

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

His pacing continued. “Are you thinking of that girl again?”

Kurapika paused, shooting his master a look. “Tansy none of your business.”

“It is when it’s affecting your training.”

He sighed, sitting down in front of his master. ‘Is she really affecting my training?’

(Name) sighed. The day had passed by quickly, Gon and Killua watching a movie she downloaded on her phone as she folded laundry before bed.

“We’re gonna get the internet set up in two days, then you’ll be able to contact Kurapika again.”

Gon was trying to reassure her, but she could only continue holding to keep her mind off of it.

Kurapika tossed and turned again that night. He struggled to sleep without the sound of her sleeping on the phone. He slid open his phone and listened to a voice message she sent.

‘Hey, Pika, I just found the cutest dress! I’ll send you a picture in a minute. But before that, let me tell you about the crazy day I had!’

He chuckled as the message continued, eyes getting heavy as she explained her day. Kurapika clutched his blanket, chest feeling heavy.

‘Have I gotten so used to her that sleeping without her is impossible?’

Kurapika was able to drift off, but not peacefully. The weight of this knowledge weighed heavy on his heart.

‘Can’t… can’t keep going on like this.’

———————

“Once you got that cable hooked up, we should be able to access the internet!” Killua said, directing Gon.

(Name) eat near them, occasionally handing Gon tools.

“Gon?”

The boy leaped up to peer over the roof at Mito. “Yes?”

“I’m going out for a little while, could you watch the place?”

“Yeah, okay!”

“Thanks, I appreciate it!”

Gon glanced at (Name) and Killua, giggling to himself. The two ended up watching Mito’s bar.

Killua sat behind the counter, looking sleepy as (Name) swept the floors. When she heard him yawn, she made sure to finish up so she could carry him home to nap.

Unfortunately, he fell asleep before she was finished. (Name) shook her head at the boy, picking him up carrying him to his room so he could sleep peacefully.

When she tried to untangle the boy and lay him down, he grumbled again and refused to let go. ‘Oh, Killua…’ she thought, lying down with him. ‘Good thing Mito’s mother saw us leave…’

She attempted to keep herself awake, humming to the boy as he slept, but couldn’t help dozing off with him.

(Name) rubbed her eyes as she woke up, glancing out the window to see Mito cutting Gon’s hair.

“Oh, you two are awake! You both fell asleep on the job.” Gon said, Mito moving his head to trim the other side.

“Gon! Are you getting your hair cut?” Killua asked, climbing off of the bed.

“Yeah, it was getting kind of long.”

“Okay, now how about you? Do you want a haircut? Looks like you can use a trim.” Mito asked.

Killua glanced between the scissors and Mito, (Name) picking up on his anxieties.

“I can cut your hair, Killua.”

This made him sigh in relief. “Yes, that sounds good.”

(Name) sat him down in a chair outside, wrapping a towel around the white haired boy. “Wow, Killua, your hair is so soft…”

She ruffled his hair, causing Killua to huff. “Hey, I said you could cut it, not play with it.”

(Name) laughed, beginning to trim it. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just…”

She ran her fingers through his hair, humming. “You’re kind of like a dandelion. Hmm…”

She closed her eyes, then blew on his hair. The boy laughed, swatting at her half heartedly. “Hey, what was that for?”

“I just made a wish! They say if you blow on a dandelion and make a wish, it comes true!”

Gon nodded, sitting on the ground next to them. “Oh, I heard of that too! Aunt Mito said you gotta close your eyes and wish with all of your heart!”

Killua tilted his head. “Really? I never heard of that… so, (Name), what did you wish for?”

She giggled, continuing with his haircut. “Can’t tell you that, silly, then it won’t come true!”

Killua closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of his hair being cut. ‘Hmm… this is nice.’

———————

Kurapika jumped when he heard his phone ring. He scrambled over to it, heart soaring when he saw (Name)’s contact.

“(Name)!”

He melted when he heard her giggle on the other end of the line. “Pika! Sorry for the wait, whale island has like no signal! Gon and Killua just got the Wi-Fi set up here, so I can at least call.”

“Oh…”

Several situations of why she hadn’t called had gone through his mind. They ranged from her forgetting, to purposefully not calling him, to her being injured or even dead. Not once did he stop to think there may be a simpler explanation like not having service.

“I’m having so much fun though! Toady Mito, or well Gon’s Aunt Mito taught me how to make the fluffiest omelettes! I can’t wait to make one for you, Pika!”

Although his tummy filled with butterflies at the thought of making something specifically for him, he couldn’t let those fuzzy feelings linger. “(Name), I need to… ask something of you.”

She went quiet, before nodding. “Go ahead, Pika.”

He inhaled, hand shaking as he looked down at her contact photo. It was the picture of her kissing his cheek, something he would never be able to forget.

“… never mind, it’s nothing. Please, tell me more about your time on Whale Island so far.”

Although she could tell he wanted to say something, she didn’t want to push him. After all, if it was something important, he’d tell her when he was ready.

After a few hours of mindless chatting, Kurapika ended the call. He bit his lip, swiping through the pictures (Name) had sent him.

He stared down at the pair of earrings she’d sent him for his birthday, holding them up to the light. They were rubies that dangled on silver chains, and he had been meaning to wear them.

Kurapika took the first one out of the box, eyes softening. They were beautiful, and he didn’t want to think about how much she spent on them. He put the first one on, using a stream as a mirror.

‘Pretty…’

Kurapika might not look like it, but he was a fan of jewelry. He tried to hide this little interest of his, not wanting to come across as greedy. After all, Kurapika was after people that collected disgusting things, he didn’t want to be associated with them in the slightest.

But right now, he allowed himself to stare at the dangling jewel, turning his head in different directions to watch it glitter in the setting sun.

He put the other one in before standing up. With a final look at himself in the stream, he knew what he had to do.

When the awful thought of (Name) possibly being hurt or kidnapped because of her ties to him crossed his mind, his immediate reaction was to do anything to get her back. And that… scared him. How had he let himself grow so attached to a person, let himself get so… soft?

Was he really willing to not only put her in danger, but jeopardize his mission because of her? If it came down between her and defeating the Phantom Troupe or collecting the scarlet eyes, what would he choose?

Kurapika scrolled to her contact, sliding to the left and pressing mute. ‘I can’t… I can’t allow myself to grow soft. She’s… she’s becoming a liability.’

He opened up his satchel, pulling out the small postcard she had sent along with the earrings.

“Though they dull in comparison to your scarlet eyes, I thought rubies would be the closest to complimenting them. Happy 18th birthday Pika, I hope I can celebrate it with you next year!”

-Love, (Name)

He felt tears well up in his eyes. Kurapika was really about to go through with it.

‘I’m such a coward, couldn’t even tell her that I could never see her again…’

He stuffed the note back into his satchel, throwing it over his shoulder.

“Master, I’m ready.”

———————

(Name) hummed to herself, taking a picture of her new pajamas and sending it to Kurapika and Leorio before leaving the bathroom.

Like usual, Leorio was quick to respond.

Oreo: looks great, sunshine!

She giggled, sending him a quick text back.

(Name): thanks, Leorio! Can’t wait to see you this September!!

(Name) waited for Kurapika to respond, eyebrows furrowing when five minutes passed without a response. ‘Hmm, he must be busy…’

“(Name), help!”

The girl looked up to see the boys rushing into the bathroom past her, Gon carrying something in his arms.

“(Name) knows medical stuff, she should be able to help!”

Gon pulled her into the bathroom, showing her some type of small cub. “Oh, Gon…”

The poor thing was panting, barely hanging on to life. They moved out of her way, allowing her to badge its wounds and place it on a towel.

“Gon, sweetheart…”

She was trying to think of how to deliver the new that the little cub wouldn’t make it when they began fighting.

“No way, I’m not gonna let you do that!” Gon exclaimed, pushing his friend away.

“Get out of the way, it’s too late! Listen to his breathing, he can’t be saved so I’m putting him out of his misery!” Killua said.

“No, you can’t kill him!”

“He’s not going to survive!”

“No, he will okay, because (Name) and I are gonna help him!”

“Ugh! That’s it, out of my way!”

(Name) stepped forward, pushing the two apart. “Hey, this isn’t a time to be fighting!”

“That cub is dying, so I just want to put an end to its suffering! Isn’t that obvious? It’s not going to survive, so it’s stupid to try and save it.”

“Killua…”

She grunted when she felt his sharpened nails pierce her skin. “I know you just want to end its suffering, but right now it’s alive, and I won’t let you be responsible for another living beings death!”

He stepped back a little, retracting his claws as his eyes bore into his hands. Blood, HER blood was coating his fingertips.

“Killua, let me shoulder this burden, okay? You’re a child, you shouldn’t be responsible for this.”

He sat down, bringing his knees to his chest. “But… killing is all I know.”

The room was silent for a moment, only the sound of the small animal panting able to be heard.

“Wait, we do know a way Killua! Our nen, we can use our nen to save the cub! Like when Wing transmitted his aura into us! Remember? He taught us that every living thing has its own aura!”

(Name) watched at the white haired boy perked up. ‘Nen?’

“You’re right… if we can enhance the aura of that cub, he could make it. It’s worth a try!”

The two approached the cub, their hands hovering over it. The air felt strange, like there was static surrounding her.

“Watch this, (Name). It’s something we learned in Heavens Arena.” Gon said, beckoning her forward.

“Let’s take it slow at first, we don’t want to risk hurting it.” Killua replied, glancing at (Name)’s bleeding arm.

For the next hour, the two kept their hands over the cub. (Name) gasped when she noticed it’s condition stabling, laughing. “It’s working, oh my god!”

The next morning, the three watched as the cub joined its father by the lake. (Name) stood behind the two, smiling.

“That was a very important thing you did, Killua.”

He turned, lip quivering. “Uh, thanks… ya know…”

His fingers ghosted over the bandage on her arm, eyes beading with tears. “I’m sorry.”

She waved her hand dismissively. “Don’t be. It was an accident.”

Gon ran over to them. “Okay, they’re gone! Let’s go home.”

“Alright then, it’s best we do before Mito gets worried.”

She kneeled down and brought to two into a hug, giving each a kiss on the forehead. “I’m so proud of you two.”

Killua closed his eyes contentedly, holding onto the back of her shirt and Gon giggled.

————————

(Name) waved to the two boys from the boat as she left whale island. “I’ll see you two in August! Be safe, boys!”

“We’ll miss you, (Name)!” Gon yelled as Killua waved to her shyly by his side.

The three made plans for them to stay at (Name)’s apartment to save money while they were in York New. It was a good idea, considering how expensive the housing could be there.

After their night of saving the cub, the two taught her about nen, though she still didn’t understand it. Apparently a teacher was supposed to come and train her soon.

(Name) began planning for their arrival as soon as she got home. She had two Hunter missions she needed to go on before September 1st, both simple body guarding jobs. After that, she’d have enough money to put a good amount into savings, and the rest could be used for rent and groceries.

Every day until September 1st, (Name) called Kurapika. He didn’t answer her calls, her texts, nothing. She was always left on delivered.

(Name) knew it was probably because he was busy with work, but she couldn’t help but worry for her dear friend.

‘I miss him…’

She held a hand over her heart, feeling it thump against her chest painfully. Her heart was aching, yearning for him. All (Name) wanted was to hear his voice again, to know he still thought about her.

That he still cared.

She set down her phone after calling him again, sighing. ‘It’s only one more week, then I’ll see him again. I’m sure he’s just been too busy with training and his new job…’

Ever the optimistic woman, (Name) continued working on getting her apartment ready for guests.

——————

(Name) yawned, waiting at the airport on an early August morning.

“(Name)!”

Yes again, Gon jumped onto (Name), this time she was waiting with open arms. He laughed as she spun him around, squeezing him out. “Hey, Gon!”

Killua walked up, scolding his friend for being so tough with her. “Killua!”

She pulled him into a hug, the boy relaxing. “It’s nice to see you again, (Name).”

She their hair before leading them to her van. “Let’s get going, we’ll drop your bags off at my place and then you two can explore to your hearts content.”

The two grabbed a snack from her fridge before leaving to do some research. “Be back before dinner time, okay? I promised your Aunt Mito that I’d take care of you, and that means not letting you two only eat junk food!”

“Yes, (Name)!”

They waved as they raced out of her apartment.

‘With those two’s appetites, I’ll have to go grocery shopping to have enough for dinner…’

(Name) pulled on her shoes on, leaving her key under the rug. She sent Killua a quick text before leaving.

(Name): Headed into town, if you two come back before I get home, my keys are under the rug! There’s snacks and drinks in the fridge!

Dandelion: thanks, (Name). Gon says be safe

She giggled to herself, placing her phone in her pocket.

Later that night, the two returned home grumpy, butting heads with each other as they entered the door.

“What happened with you two?” (Name) asked as she pulled off her apron. They relaxed slightly when the scent of dinner hit their noses.

“Killua lost all our money!”

“Hey, you gotta lose money to make money!”

(Name) sighed. “Boys, sit down. We can talk about it after dinner.”

They were quiet as they ate, (Name) smiling as they inhaled their food. It was obvious they were starving after running around the city all day.

“Okay, you two start talking and I’ll get the table cleaned up.”

They began explaining what happened, (Name) nodding along as she cleared the plates and started washing dishes. “Hmm, well I see both of your points. Killua did take a big risk and lost a lot of money, but Gon’s method was too slow and wouldn’t have made enough money by the time the auction started.”

She place a piece of cake in front of both of them. “You can think about what to do in the morning, rest and have some cake.”

Gon sighed, giving her a smile. “Sorry for troubling you, (Name).”

She shook her head. “Don’t be sorry. You’re my friends, I’ll do everything I can to help you accomplish your goals, Gon.”

After dessert, (Name) tucked the two into bed, glad she had a spare bedroom. “Goodnight, boys. My room is right down the hall if you need me.”

She smiled before closing the door behind her.

———————

A week passed by, September 1st finally arriving. (Name) woke up early, making a big breakfast and calling Kurapika yet again.

‘Still no answer…’

Now that was strange. They were supposed to be meeting September 1st, so it didn’t make sense for him not answer. ‘He… he’s probably still busy with his job.’

That excuse was getting harder to believe, but she shook the frown from her face and smiled. “Boys, breakfast is ready!”

The two came racing into the kitchen, making their plates before sitting at the table to eat. “Thanks, (Name)!”

As they finished their food, Gon looked up. “Are you coming with us today? Leorio supposed to be meeting us in the market.”

(Name) nodded, taking their cleared plates. “Yeah, give me 15 minutes to get dressed.”

She threw on a pair of jeans and a warm cardigan and followed the Gon and Killua to the market.

(Name) trailed behind the two as they walked, occasionally stopping at stalls to browse their wares. She wanted to get everyone a little gift to give them when they all met up. So far she had something for Gon and Leorio, only needing to shop for Kurapika and Killua.

She considered getting Kurapika more jewelry, after all he’d been incredibly happy with the earrings she’d gifted him, but decided against it. She didn’t want to give him a similar gift twice in a row, so it would have to be something else.

“A cellphone?”

“Yeah! Kurapika was planning on getting here yesterday, and Leorio will be meeting us here, so a cellphone will come in handy.”

(Name) perked up at Gon’s words, the girl drifting closer to listen.

“Kurapika said he has an assignment, so he might not have time to see us…”

She blinked. ‘He told Gon that but not… me?’

“An assignment?”

“Mhm. He said if he has free time he’ll call, and who knows when that could be. So that’s why I want a cellphone.”

Her heart sank at the thought of not being able to see Kurapika. She’d been so excited, and the thought of seeing him again had been the only reason she kept going at times. Gon sensed this, quickly waving his hands. “Oh, but I’m sure he’ll at least want to see you, (Name)! You know he has a soft spot for you!”

She sighed, ruffling the boys hair. “Yeah…”

She pushed her worry away, rubbing her arm as the salesman spoke.

“You want a deal? Here you go! This phone is the latest thing. It’s small, thin, and light and it comes with a GPS system to help you find your way around.”

“What do you think?” Killua asked Gon as he absentmindedly patted (Name)’s arm in an attempt to comfort her.

“Well, the price is right and it would fit in my pocket… yeah I think I’ll take it.”

“You don’t want that one.”

The three started to slowly turn around, (Name)’s eyes brimming with tears.

“You can’t roam with it and it’s not even waterproof. I’d go with this one over here if I were you.”

“Leorio!”

“Yo!”

(Name) jumped into his arms, the man spinning her around as they both laughed. “Leoriooo! I missed you!”

“Right back at you, sunshine.”

He kissed her forehead, causing her to break out into giggles. The two boys glanced at each other.

“Is it just me, or do they seem a lot closer now?” Killua whispered to Gon.

“Well, living together for nearly four months will do that.”

Leorio got them their phones, and began walking back to (Name)’s apartment. “Are you staying with me too, Leorio?”

“Nah, I got my own hotel. Don’t wanna make your apartment too crowded.”

“Aww, but I slept in your bed with you for months! I promise I don’t mind.”

Leorio blushed at that, the two boys laughing at his reaction. "Hey, don't say that in front of them."

"Why? It's not like we did anything."

She giggled, the taller man's face going red. "Hey!Quiet down.”

They say in (Name's apartment, using her computer to look up information as she prepared some snacks.

"Hey, sunshine, can you grab me a beer?"

"Coming up!”

Killua scoffed, flicking the man on the back of head.

"Why are you acting like she's your little housewife? You can get it yourself.”

"Hey! (Name), Killua is picking on me!"

'What is he, a kid?'

(Name) came back carrying a tray of snacks in her hands and a beer under her arm. "Here, Leorio." She set down the tray before kissing his cheek. "Find anything yet?"

He sighed, cheeks turning pink. "A few things."

‘What the hell is their relationship!?' Killua thought, eyebrow twitching.

Before the three left to start a conditional auctioning, (Name) stopped Leorio.

“Has…”

She held onto his sleeve, staring down at the floor. “Has Pika talked to you recently?”

Leorio raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, a few days ago he informed me he had a new job. Has he not been in contact with you?”

(Name) seemed to deflate slightly. “He… hasn’t talked to me in a month…”

This seemed to genuinely surprise Leorio, the man taking a step back. “What?! A month? But the two of you were calling every day, even falling asleep on the phone together!”

She groaned. “I know! It’s so weird. I’ve been telling myself it’s because he’s just busy but…”

Now it was hard to hang onto that excuse. “Hey, I’m sure there’s some reason he hasn’t called. To be fair, he’s only texted me a handful of times this month.”

She nodded slowly, looking up. “Yeah…”

Gon held her hand. “I’m sure he wouldn’t ignore you on purpose. Kurapika cares about you a whole lot! There has to be a reason! I bet his new job has been suuuper time consuming!”

“Yeah!”

(Name) smiled, the boy grinning back. “There we are! I love your smile, (Name)!”

She giggled, ruffling his hair. “You little charmer. You boys go on, I’ll have dinner ready when you all get back.”

She waved them off and closed the door behind them.

“Oh, Pika…”

She sank to the floor, holding her phone in her hand. Her finger hovered over the call button, but before she could call him again, she stopped.

‘He won’t answer, anyway.’ she thought bitterly, picking herself up.

(Name) brushed her pants off before lightly smacking her cheeks. ‘I can’t think like that. I gotta trust him. He said he’d always be there for me! I just have to… I just have to believe in him!’

She grabbed her purse, throwing it over her shoulder before running out the front door. ‘I’ll get some grocery shopping done. Maybe I’ll even find presents for them!’

——————

(Name) finished her shopping, having secured a gift for both Kurapika and Killua. She hummed to herself, glancing down at her grocery list.

“Need more celery, milk, eggs… ouch!”

(Name) tumbled to the ground, quickly gathering her things. “Watch it, girl.”

(Name) looked up to see a man glaring daggers at her. This didn’t bother her, though. No, (Name) jumped up and began frantically checking over the stranger. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! Are you okay? I wasn’t paying attention. Did you get hurt? I have bandaids in my ba-“

The man stepped out of her way before he continued walking. “Tch, annoying.”

She blinked, crouching back down to pick up the rest of her things when she spotted it.

A wallet. There was nothing to identify the man with inside of it, only a few unmarked bills and a picture of a group of children. She tilted her head. “Sir, sir you dropped your-“

But he was gone. (Name) smacked a hand over her forehead. ‘Maybe I’ll bump into him again. Can’t leave it here…’

She stuffed the wallet into her backpack, sighing. (Name) pouted at her scraped elbow, taking out a bandaid and slapping it onto her wound before walking away.

As the sun began to set, (Name) started cooking dinner. The boys would be out late, meaning she could really take her time.

After hours of arm wrestling, Gon walked into her apartment, the other two trailing behind him.

“Just in time, dinner is ready!”

Leorio nodded sleepily, sitting down at the kitchen table to eat dinner. “Leorio, why don’t you stay here tonight? York New is dangerous during the day, it’s suicide to be walking around at night.”

Leorio munched on his dinner as he thought this over. “Alright. Hope your bed is big enough for the both us of.”

“Probably!”

——————

(Name) attempted to untangle herself from her tall friend the next morning, whining. “Leorio, gotta pee!”

“Five more minutes…”

He turned over, pulling her along with him. ‘Now I remember why I moved.’

“KILLUA! GON!”

The two came rushing in, Gon slipping and falling on Leorio’s pants he’d thrown off in the middle of the night. “You pervert, I should have known!”

Killua bonked him on the head, pulling him off the bed and throwing him at the hall. “Woah- MY BACK!”

(Name) was too busy wobbling to the bathroom to notice the two laying into the taller man, rubbing her sleepy eyes.

When she got back, she had to separate the three as they rolled on the floor. “Okay, okay, let him go.”

The four ate breakfast in silence, poor Leorio having a swollen cheek and several bruises. “Sorry, Leorio. You kind of have a reputation…”

Leorio sighed. “It’s alright. You two coming to protect (Name) like that is what you should do.”

But Leorio still tripped Killua when they walked out the door that morning, muttering something about payback. “Don’t wait up on us, sunshine. We’ll be out until the early morning.”

(Name) lingered by the door. “Are you sure you don’t want me to pack you some lunches, then? I-“

He silenced her with a peck on the forehead. “You’re too sweet. You just sit nice and pretty, and I’ll bring you home something nice, alright?”

(Name) felt her face heat up at his words, and to get him back, she fluttered her eyelashes at him. “Leorio, baby, not in front of the kids…”

He attempted to stutter out a response, only for his tongue to be tied. (Name) laughed and pushed him out of the door. “Byee! Don’t get into too much trouble!”

The entire day was spent doing chores, cleaning the house, making premade meals, and standing around waiting for Kurapika to call.

“Hmm…”

She stared at her phone that sat on the table, tilting her head one way then the other. “Hmmmmm…… okay I’m going to call him again.”

Ring…

Ring…

Ring…

“You gonna answer that?”

Kurapika didn’t answer the brute in front of him, only glancing at his phone to see (Name)’s smiling contact photo lighting up the screen. His heart thumped against his chest for just a moment before he steadied himself.

“Where do you want to die?”

“Some place where we won’t cause a disturbance, because you’ll be making a lot of noise when I kill you.”

Uvogin allowed the blonde to leave and grab something.

A shovel, but not just any shovel.

Kurapika stood in front of the storing shed in the back of (Name)’s apartment building. He glanced up to her window, a faint smile on his face when he spotted her silhouette twirling around in what he assumed was her kitchen.

‘That’s how it should be. Her unaware and happy while I carry this heavy burden.’

He put in the combination to the lock around the shed, remembering she told him it was her birthday 2 months ago.

‘Still the same combination? That’s not safe…’

He scolded himself for thinking this. ‘I shouldn’t care, I have more important things to worry about.’

Kurapika searched the shed until he spotted what he was after. ‘There it is…’

It wasn’t perfect, but would do in this situation. It was a large snow shovel, one she’d bought when she moved to York New and found out the snow was heavy in the winter. He didn’t have the heart to tell her at the time that the snow was shoveled by volunteers, meaning it would be useless to her.

But now it would be useful to him.

Kurapika closed the shed and carefully clicked the lock closed, attempting to make it seem like it hadn’t been open in the first.

——————

Kurapika shoveled dirt onto Uvogin’s corpse, eye blank. He glanced down at his dear friends snow shovel, only feeling slightly guilty as the evident dents in the metal.

‘She would forgive me. She always does.’

He made the long journey back to York New, slipping into the back of (Name)’s apartment building. Gone was the careful Kurapika who had been there a few hours before, now he shoved the dirty, bloody shovel into the shed, kicking the door when it caught on the ground.

He didn’t even both to make it seem like it hadn’t been tampered with, he was much too tired, much too emotionally and physically spent to care.

Kurapika lingered near (Name)’s apartment, feeling his legs nearly buckle as he attempted to walk away.

‘Have to… have to go. Can’t stay or…’

He’d subconsciously arrived at her doorstep, hand already reaching out to knock. Before he could stop himself, he knocked on the door twice.

“Be there in a second!”

His lip trembled at the sound of her voice. More than anything, he wanted to be with her right now. Kurapika had just gone through so much, he’d taken his first life.

The door opened slowly, and he pushed himself in, collapsing in her arms. “P-Pika?”

(Name) wasn’t sure how to feel in the moment. Her Pika had returned to her, but not in the way she had expected.

He was covered in blood, face pale and dirty. His clothes were torn, and she wasn’t sure what he’d been through.

“Pika? Are you hurt anywhere?”

Kurapika shook his head slowly, his grip on her tightening when she attempted to set him down. “Okay, okay… let’s try breathing in and out, okay?”

She sat down on the floor, allowing him to bury his head into her shoulder as he caught his breath. It was like standing on his own was impossible then, and he needed her support.

“Alright… there you go.”

She brushed his hair back to get a good look at his face. His eyes were a faint red, face covered in dirt and dried blood. She cupped his cheek, not caring a single bit about the mess collecting on her hand.

“Pika… what can I do? Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head, leaning into her touch. “Okay… let’s try some yes or no questions. Shake your head for no, nod for yes.”

He patiently waited for her to continue, eyes fluttering closed. “Do you want to take a bath?”

He nodded, head leaning forward to nuzzle against her shoulder. Although the circumstances weren’t perfect, it still felt nice to have her Pika with her again, especially when he was pulling her closer to him. It reminded her of the Hunter Exam, when they never went long without another.

“Okay, let’s get to the bathroom sweetheart.”

She struggled under his weight as she guided him to the bathroom. He didn’t talk the entire time, silent as she set him on the edge of the tub.

(Name) drew him a bath, occasionally having to struggle out of his grip. He kept a hand on her shirt the entire time, and when she strayed too far he pulled her into his arms, whimpering against her hair. “Pika, I’m not leaving, I’m just grabbing a towel…”

After his bath was ready, she attempted to walk out of the bathroom to give him some privacy.

“Pikaa…”

He was stopping her from leaving again, pulling her back by her hips. “Pika, what do you want?”

He gave her no answer, only pawing at her form like a sad puppy. Thinking he just wanted her near, she turned her head so he could get undressed. After five minutes, she turned to see he hadn’t made any moves to undress at all.

She shook her head in exasperation. “Okay, lift up your arms.”

He did so without question, (Name) pulling his shirt and undershirt off of him. When she moved to hook her thumbs under his pants, it was like he snapped awake from a dream.

Kuraoika shooed her hands away, face a light pink. She raised an eyebrow, then turned around so he could get undressed and sink into the warm water.

She turned back around and sighed. He was just sitting, knees pulled to his chest. “Pika…”

She sat at the edge of the tub, using a cup to wet his hair. Again, he leaned against her, soaking her shirt. “Aww, Pika…”

(Name) didn’t mind that much, though. She knew he wasn’t in the best headspace right now, and wanted to do whatever she could to help.

She washed his hair, giggling when he smiled at the feeling of her fingers massaging soap into his scalp. “That feel nice, Pika?”

He nodded against her, attempting to nuzzle into her soft tummy against but she pushed him back a little. “Hey, mister, you’re still wet. Wait until after your bath!”

He grumbled at that, but listened. She washed his upper half as much as possible, looking away as she washed his chest.

“Okay, Pika. I’m not going any further than that, you’ll have to take over sweetheart.”

She grabbed his hand and placed the rag in it. He stared at the rag, unmoving.

“Pika.”

“…”

“Pika you’ve gotta wash yourself.”

“…”

She took in a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I love you, so much. So much.”

She grabbed the rag and turned her head as she washed his legs, the blonde lifting his leg slightly. (Name) wanted to laugh. Usually Kurapika was very independent and easily embarrassed, but now he was completely naked, allowing her to see him at his most vulnerable and leaning into her touch.

But she didn’t laugh. That wouldn’t be right in her mind. Her friend had been through something traumatizing enough to the point he had gone nonverbal. And she couldn’t laugh at that.

“Okay, Pika, you’re all clean.”

She drained the tub, wrapping a fluffy towel around his form and helping him out of the tub. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

She sat him down, the blonde yet again attempting to pull her into his embrace again. “Pika, no! I’ve gotta get you some clothes, okay?”

The blonde tugged at her sleeve, looking up at her with watery eyes. “Pika…”

She cupped his cheeks, leaning down to peck his lips. “It’s just for a second, Pika. I’ll be right back.”

He seemed to melt under her touch, eyes fluttering shut as she planted kisses all over his face. “That better?”

He nodded, nuzzling against her palm. “Okay. I’ll give you more kisses in just a minute, just let me go.”

Kurapika considered this, glancing between her and the door before letting her go. (Name) made true on her word, returning only a minute later carrying a pair of pajama pants and a tshirt. “Sorry, it’s Leorio’s clothes, b-“

Kurapika seemed visibly disgusted when she attempted to dress him. He pushed the shirt away, shaking his head. “What… what’s wrong? These are the only clothes that’ll fit you, sweetheart.”

He kept pushing and shaking his head until (Name) sighed. “Well, I guess you can wear my clothes…”

He went still at this, relaxing when she walked over to her closet and pulled out some pajamas again. It was the ugliest t-shirt she owned. It had a screaming possum on the front, the text saying ‘LETS EAT TRASH AND GET HIT BY A CAR” in bright red comic sans font, along with a pair of hello kitty pajama pants.

This time he offered no resistance when she asked him to raise his arms. She slipped the shirt onto him, wincing at the sight of his thin frame. ‘He lost weight…’

He was able to put his pants on himself, following behind her like a lost puppy when she walked into the kitchen. She sat him down and took out one of the premade meals she made that day. ‘I’m so glad I made these…’

She heated it up, watching as Kurapika swayed at the table. He was exhausted, she needed to hurry so he didn’t pass out at her dinner table.

“Here, Pika, it’s hot.”

She set the plate of food in front of him, scolding herself. ‘Of course he can’t feed himself.’

“I’ve got it, sweetheart.”

She blew on a spoonful of food before bringing it to his lips. He took a bite, perking up a little. She continued, but apparently was too slow, because the blonde snatched the spoon from her hand and began to shovel his meal into his mouth.

“Woah, slow down, you’re gonna choke.”

He didn’t listen. Kurapika had trouble eating recently. Nothing tasted good, everything bland after he decided to cut his beloved (Name) out of his life, but right now the food in front of him tasted like heaven.

He finished his plate, sipping on the drink she’d offered him moments before. After that, he rubbed at his eyes, swaying again.

“Sleepy?”

He nodded slowly, allowing her to guide him to her bedroom. “Let’s get you tucked in.”

She tucked him into one side of her bed, making sure he was comfortable before climbing into the other side. “Goodnight, Pika.”

He said nothing as he scooted closer to her, burying his face in her chest. She sighed, running her fingers through his pretty blonde hair.

“Thank you…”

It was so quiet that (Name) wasn’t sure she’d heard anything at all, but he continued to mutter thanks and apologies against her shirt. “Sorry… so sorry, (Name).”

“What are you sorry for, Pika? You didn’t do anything wrong?”

He didn’t answer her, and when she felt her shirt grow wet with tears, she could only sigh. “I love you, Pika. You’re not a burden to me at all, so don’t apologize for this.”

If only she knew that he was apologizing for who he’s become in the future, what he’d do to her to further his cause. Maybe she would have been less forgiving.

Just maybe.

(Name) kissed the top of his head, beginning to him as he clung to her. His body wracked with sobs, his hands clawing at her back as he broke down. “Please… please… don’t hate me, (Name). Please…”

She was quiet, not knowing how to respond. (Name) could never hate him. In the morning, she could attempt to ease his fears, let him know just how much he meant to her.

“Shh, shh…” she cooed, giving him kisses all over his face. He accepted those kisses, sighing in contentment. Kurapika peered up at her with those pretty brown eyes, leaning into her touch.

“Lets rest, okay?”

He didn’t want to rest. In the morning, he would become a stranger to her, but his heavy eyelids wouldn’t allow him to stay awake. “… okay…”

She pulled him into her embrace, the feeling of her warm hands on his back allowing him to relax and sleep.

——————

Kurapika pulled on his clothes, glancing at the sleeping girl with half lidded eyes.

He bent down, brushing her hair out of her face so he could take a good look at her sleeping face. ‘So pretty…’

Kurapika stared at her for a while, feeling himself being drawn towards her. He shook his head, pressing a lingering kiss to her forehand before standing up.

“Goodbye, (Name). I wish you the best, truly.”

He lingered in the doorway, glancing down to the shirt he discarded on the floor, the one she dressed him in the night before.

‘She won’t miss this…’

He picked it up, placing it in his satchel before pulling on his tabard. He looked over himself in the mirror. Thanks to her help, he looked… passable. Clean, but nothing would help in hiding the dark circles under his eyes and slight hollowness in his cheeks.

Kurapika spared her one last glance before leaving her apartment.

‘I’ll miss you, angel.’