#it's going to be an interesting day tomorrow

[lady-wildflower]

Kia ora, me again.

So I thought I'd add something on.

Two days ago, a march began against the Treaty Principles Bill. Interesting use of the word began, some of you from the rest of the world might think. Well, I don't mean a march down a city street.

I mean a march from Pōtahi Marae, all the way to Parliament. For reference, Pōtahi Marae is only 30km southeast of Cape Reinga, the northernmost point of Aotearoa, and Parliament in Te Whanganui-a-Tara (Wellington) is about as south as you can get in Aotearoa without having to take a ferry or plane to Te Waipounamu (the south island). That's a more than 1000 kilometre route, and yes, some of it will be done by car but large chunks of it won't be.

This march, or hīkoi, follows in the footsteps of the 1975 Māori Land March, another such hīkoi made in response to continuing theft of Māori land by Pākehā who deemed it "unproductive" and passed laws allowing it to be compulsorily turned into public land and used by Pākehā against Māori objections. That march took 29 days. This hīkoi will be nine.

ACT are attempting to declaw and destroy every victory Māori have ever won against the encroach of colonial oppression, and prevent any further victories. They even suddenly brought forward the introduction of the Bill to before the hīkoi and, more importantly, before the Waitangi Tribunal could make their analysis of it. That means the Tribunal, and any official voice that can point out how flagrantly this Bill violates te Tiriti, is being explicitly cut out, they're not allowed to step in on Bills already before Parliament as I understand it.

I'm brain disabled (autism), not in very good shape, and don't already own walking shoes. By all rights I should not even be thinking about going to a march this long. I'm still going. It's going to be a hell of a distressing disruption to my routines to sort out shoes before I go, and breaking in new shoes with a fifteen kilometre walk in the hot sun probably isn't the best idea, but I'm going to join it. The hīkoi passes through Tāmaki Makaurau (Auckland), where I live, tomorrow, and will march across the Harbour Bridge from Onepoto Domain (departing at 10am), splitting into two to go to Takaparawhau (Bastion Point) and Ihumātao. My only lament is that I know that I'm not going to be able to continue with them south. I can't make that journey, and I can only imagine the dedication and strength, mental and physical, of those doing it.

It should not be in any way notable that I'm going. But Pākehā, like me, need to be taking part in these things far more. And it's to other Pākehā in particular I'm talking to when I say that.

We have a duty to support the fight against this Bill, against normalising it even if it fails. All these evils, all these attacks upon Māori, they were done in my name. In our name. They weren't my ancestors, I'm a first generation kiwi, but that doesn't matter. It was done in my name, so that I and every other Pākehā after them could have a miniature England to live in in the Pacific. As (I would like to think) tangata Tiriti, we have a duty to spit on that and say no. No, you do not do that in my name. To stand in kotahitanga with tangata whenua and uphold our Treaty. To any Pākehā who've reblogged my little explanation above after @takataapui reblogged it, get off your keyboard and join the hīkoi if you in any way can. Even if it's just one leg of it.

Not in my name. Toitū te Tiriti.

I know most of tumblr is thinking about the USA right now. but fuck the nz government right now too. tomorrow, the treaty principles bill, the 'worst, most comprehensive breach of Te Tiriti in modern times' is being introduced to parliament early, because there were activations planned country wide and the cowards decided to pull it forwards. fuck this government. a friend of mine had to go home early, crying. I've been in shock all day since it came out.

check on your Māori friends, e hoa mā. see what they need. see how you can help. everyday, we see and experience racism. from people around us, up to our government. community care will save us.

[papayadays]

🧸 + franco + "what the hell was her problem?" "that's what i said!"

a/n: this was such a good one eve!! tysmm <33

“tell me about your day,” you said, rolling onto your side to hold your phone.

“ah, it was the usual,” franco shrugged, his face taking up your screen. he was in a hoodie, looking as cozy and handsome as ever. “just practice runs to get data and prepare for quali tomorrow.”

“you’re going to do great,” you smiled.

“gracias, amor,” franco chuckled. “oh, wait, i had something i wanted to tell you actually. so you know my press officer, right?”

you nodded, amused. “oh no, what did you do now?” you teased.

“nada!” franco protested, holding up his hands. “i was just telling a fan i liked their merch which wasn’t official, and then my press officer said i shouldn’t say that.”

you scrunched up your nose. “what the hell was her problem?”

“si, that’s what i said!” franco exclaimed, a little too loud for his hotel room, and quieted down again. “a lot of my fans can’t afford the real merch. demasiado caro.” (too expensive)

it was crazy how much you two understood each other, being able to read the other like a book. franco always knew how to tell what you were feeling, and you could always guess what was on his mind. that instant spark was one of the reasons why you worked so well together.

you laughed, glad to share a sliver of your time with franco, but you missed having him next to you. “so, anything else interesting?”

“hm, no,” franco shrugged. “y tú? how was your day?”

“same old,” you replied. “busy with homework for uni, missing you.”

“i miss you too,” franco said softly, glancing at you through the screen. “but soon, i’ll be able to visit you.”

you grinned at that, blowing a kiss at your phone. “can’t wait, franco.”

joyce's birthday bash! 😽

[my-castles-crumbling]

Study Date - Jegulus - TTPD Server's Microprompt Challenge - wc: 314

"Just one date?" James asks desperately, wide eyes so sincere that Regulus almost accepts.

Almost.

"No," he mumbles instead, frowning. Because he knows that James Potter, campus-renowned player and football star, can't possibly want to actually date him. The other boy obviously just has some fascination with the idea of wearing him down before leaving him alone. So it's much easier to turn him down before he gets hurt. "I have to study, Potter. I have a huge exam on Monday."

There. That should be enough to get the other boy off his back. Turning and moving to stop away, he's surprised when a hand grabs lightly at his wrist- enough to stop him but not enough to trap him there.

"A study date, then?" James pleads as Regulus eyes him again, and the suggestion makes Regulus pause.

Because he's never, not once seen James Potter in the library.

"You want to have a study date?" he asks suspiciously, even as the more hopeful part of him swells with something akin to joy.

"Sure. I- I'll quiz you. Read to you! Sit there quietly and stare out the window while you study," James says nodding as grinning. "Anything you want. I just want to spend time with you, Reg."

And the way he speaks causes Regulus to smile softly. Because it's so genuine, he believes him, even against his better judgement. "I'm studying geography," he warns, making sure James knows it's not the most interesting of subjects.

"Perfect! I love rocks and stuff," James grins.

Chuckling, Regulus doesn't have the heart to tell him he's probably thinking of geology. "Meet me in study room four tomorrow at one. And wear something comfortable, we're going to be there for a while," he warns with a smile.

Of course, as it turns out, they don't end up getting a lot of studying done the next day, but that's a different story.

[papaya-twinks]

love/hate it - l.n 🎈

Warnings: Angst-To-Fluff, Swearing, Crying

Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader

It had been a whole year since you and Lando had broken up. It was also the day he turned 26. Why he’d broken up with you on hir birthday, you didn’t know, but why he did so, you were pretty aware of.

Neither of you could pursue your own careers whilst being tied to each other, and long distance would simply fade into the background, more painful than just ending it there and then, so he did what you didn’t have the guts to do.

But oh how you missed him.

All those birthdays he’d spent with you, in your arms, celebrating and partying into the night, or him waking up the next day with you beside him, the heat of your two bodies when you made love early in the morning, or after hours of partying.

You wasn’t even sure why Lando’s mum of all people had decided to message you, that too, so late into the day. You spoke all the time, of course you did, she loved you nearly as much as her own son, and she’d been heartbroken when she knew you and Lando had broken up. 

But to get a message at 11pm on the 12th if November wasn’t on your bingo card. 

Lan’s Mama 🤗❤️: Hi darling, I’m sorry if this is too late for you, but I was wondering if you would be alright coming round to the family home tomorrow? Whenever you’re free, of course x

Y/N: No, no, it’s fine, I’ll be there x 

Interesting. But you complied, the next day, wearing a warm beige sweater with a skirt underneath, your tights showing your skin through them slightly as you rang the doorbell to the house, smiling as you saw his mother.

“Oh darling,” she hugged you, her arms wrapped round your waist as you squeezed her slightly, letting her sway you on the spot as you smiled, “beautiful as ever,” she took your hand in hers, leading you into the house. “You as well,” you smiled, following her inside.

Lando was sitting on the sofa, resting his chin on his hand, staring down at the carpet as you walked in, his gaze never shifting from the specific spot. “Lando,” his mum said, her voice firm and slightly cold as she addressed her own son.

He finally tore his eyes from the floor, almost reluctantly, meeting yours for what felt like hundreds of years more than just that one. You didn’t say anything, your breath shaky as you looked to your boyfriend, your ex-boyfriend, as he walked slowly towards you. You weren’t sure if you loved or hated this.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice half-cracking. You’d never seen Lando cry - would this be the day? “Lando…Lando, what for?” you asked, confused as he wrapped his arms round your waist in the same way he used to do all those times before, your arms snaking so perfectly round his waist.

“I don’t know…everything,” he said, his voice muffled into your neck as you held him, swaying slightly on the spot, “I’ve needed you for so long, I just wanted to know if you’re o-okay and stuff,” Lando mumbled as you raked your nails through his curls, just how he liked it, soothing and calming.

“I can’t go a year without you, Y/N, please, not again,” he said, almost pleading with you, “I’ll make it work, I’ll m-make it work,” he said, his hand fumbling to hold yours, intertwining your fingers with his as you smiled. “Lando, Lando- slow down,” you whispered, pulling him back into a hug.

“We can make this work, okay?” you squeezed his hand together, “I hated being without you too,”. Lando nodded, his face remaining in your neck, just how he always did it, accepting your warmth as much as you did for him. “We’ll make this work, Lando, okay?” you smiled, kissing him again.

[crazyvik97rpg]

Alan didn't let William get out of this hug for a while - he just held him tight and rubbed his back soothingly. If Sebastian was going through something so serious, than it was more than telling when William looked like he looked today. Exhausted, big dark circles under his eyes, Alan just knew he worried so much, he couldn't imagine what these two were going through. On top of that, Sebastian was still so young. Getting such diagnosis at such point in time - it must be soul crushing.

Visiting him though seemed like an excellent idea, William agreed and so did the others. Sebastian seemed fine enough already for that. Eric smiled: "Great, then we could visit him all together. What about tomorrow, right after school? In which hospital does he stay, how far is it? We could get him some flowers and sweets, some chocolate, to cheer him up".

"Ohh yes, that sounds great. I can buy the flowers", Ronald volunteered with a grin, "I have experience in buying flowers, I've been getting Sonia a lot of them lately. I bet if I tell Seb that, he will feel better right away", he snickered - Sebastian would be always so grumpy whenever Ronald did something stupid regarding Sonia after all.

"That's great, then we can get the sweets. Will, you know best what he likes", Alan smiled, "But we'll manage. So then tomorrow after school? We can take our car, there's enough room for us", he patted William's back and only now pulled away from the hug, so he could look at him.

If Sebastian only knew what great friends he had - not only worried for him but caring for William too. He needed the support, more than anyone - he kept neglecting his needs for Sebastian, to be strong for him, but that could only work for so long either.

Around noon, Sebastian was alone in his room again - his neighbour was now in surgery and he got to chat with him only a little bit before. He was friendly, a former military guy but now retired. An interesting fellow to chat with for sure.

His body kept him busy either way - the pain was a handful today and the nurses didn't want to give him too high of a dose of pain meds all the time. Soreness was a part of recovery he supposed but he could barely move and he also couldn't sleep like that. So he was just in a constant state of exhaustion, feeling like a bus ran him over. He was counting seconds at this point - visiting hours just started and he couldn't wait for his boyfriend to come already.

Before that, though, someone else showed up.

"Sebastian...oh dear, I finally found your room, this place is a whole big maze, gosh..."

It was the most pleasant surprise. Sebastian's eyes lit up, he recognized her by the voice alone and his lips curved up into a smile. "Grandma-...grandma, you're here?"

"How could I not visit my favourite grandson", she grinned and she came to a halt right next to his bed as she gently took his hand, squeezed it. "When you're not able to visit me, I have to visit you", she smiled, big round glasses on her nose - Grandma Lillian, Sebastian's mother's mother. That was a big surprise, to say the least - they didn't see each other for well over a year, maybe called each other a handful of times. Usually they celebrated Christmas together with the whole family. But that didn't happen last Christmas - and now it was already mid of September.

"How are you? Are you better already, I thought you had such problems with your lungs?", Sebastian asked right away, his eyes big as he looked at her in awe - she merely chuckled at that question. She didn't look the youngest on her own anymore, her grey hair put up in a simple updo - she had a cane with her too, just in case.

"I should be asking you, my darling. Your mother told me just the other day, well-...she told me all about your illness. And that you had surgery. I didn't think I would get to see you in such hospital bed before me", she sighed, the look on her face sad and worried - it pained Sebastian, to say the least. "I thought about calling you but I needed to see you in person. It's been such a long time. How are you?"

For I have sinned...

The principal cleared his throat, eyes scanning the notes that he had wrote down before this meeting. It already lasted an hour, and the teachers gathered in the faculty room were becoming restless and bored. But indeed there were some things to discuss, with the concert that the senior class was supposed to perform at the end of the semester, and with recent staff changes. 

William glanced down at his watch, sighing softly. His class was starting in 15 minutes, so at least, whether the meeting will be done soon or not, he will get to excuse himself. He looked out of the window, his mind wandering. Principal’s voice turned into white noise in the background. It was a pleasant day, late summer. But William was looking forward to a slightly cooler weather. Wearing all black could really be bothersome at times. 

“And lastly, I am pleased to announce that we have finally found replacement for the violin teacher. Dear Mr Tanaka, may he rest in peace, was with us for so many years that I’ve been concerned we won’t be able to find someone as good as to fill this position.” the principal spoke. “But Mr… Michaelis, was highly recommended to me, and he indeed has impressive references. He will be starting this week, so please welcome him warmly once he will arrive. Ah yes… about that. He will arrive today at noon, I need someone to pick him up from the train station and bring over for the tour around the school. Any volunteers?” 

William was barely listening, and definitely not paying much attention. He glanced at his watch again, and saw that it was time to leave, as his class was about to start. He raised his hand to excuse himself, and little did he know, he just volunteered.

“Father William! Excellent!” the principal exclaimed. “Just don’t be late, the train arrives at noon.”

“Train…?” William questioned, raising his brow. He had a feeling he was missing something…

***

Right after the meeting, William had to run for the class, so he had little time to clarify what exactly he had volunteered for. He was a piano teacher in this Music Academy, but also he served as a priest in local church. Well respected, and rather liked. So when he later found out it was about the new violin teacher, he didn’t refuse. Who, other than himself, would be a better choice to introduce a newcome to their community?

So even though he raised his hand by accident, he accepted this fate.

After classes, at noon, William took a taxi and drove to the train station, to pick up their new teacher. Wearing black trousers, and a black shirt with a thin tie, was absolutely dreadful in this weather, so William quickly found shelter under the roof of the station platform, that provided some shade.

The train had just arrived. William had no idea how Mr Michaelis looked like, but he figured he will just look for someone carrying a violin case with them. 

He was in for a bit surprise.

@crazyvik97

[downthe-f4ndom-rabbith0le]

Always Been You (Dick Grayson x Reader) - Chapter 7

Always Been You (Dick Grayson x Reader)Reader Insert: she/her pronouns Word Count: 5017 Warnings: death, violence, fighting, bloody wounds, angst, infuriatingly oblivious love interest, slowburn Spoilers: Young Justice Seasons 1-3 plot partially, but it ended in 2022 so catch up.

Y/N Prince - miracle daughter of Wonder Woman and Steve Trevor - and Dick Grayson - first adoptive son of the Batman himself - have been best friends since day one. They went to school together, trained together, kept each other's alter ego secret from everyone else, and they founded the Young Justice alongside their friends together. 

But as time progressed, Y/N and Dick grew up and Y/N found herself wanting more than friendship with Dick. But he never seemed to indicate that he reciprocated her feelings. And when Wally died and Dick abandoned the team, Y/N realised he never would. So she heads to the one place she knows will help her become a stronger warrior so that one day she can take her mother's place: Themyscira.

Two years after his leave, Dick reaches out to his old friends to help him with a mission. But when he finds out Y/N left too, he chases after her in the hopes to bring her back.

However, when the two finally reunite, it isn't as warm as he hopes. Not to mention Themyscira becomes under siege as they go to war against Echidna, the Mother of Monsters in Greek Mythology, and her army of monstrous children.

Will Dick and Y/N be able to put their past behind them and save the Amazonians' homeland? Or will they fall, unable to tell one another their true feelings?

~~~

T-minus 1 day until Echidna's War.

'All right, everyone!' Y/N called out to the group, forcing them to stop sparring in their pairs and look at her. 'That's enough for today. Go, shower and get ready for our feast. You deserve to enjoy this night before tomorrow.'

'Yes, Princess!' the warriors said in unison, then quickly dispersed, leaving the training grounds to head back into the city to prepare for tomorrow.

'You should get ready too, Princess,' Calliope said, looking after her sisters-in-arms chatting and walking down the stairs to their homes. Y/N's heart pulled at the thought that she'd never see such happy smiles again after tonight.

'In a moment, Calliope,' Y/N answered, looking around the remaining groups that were finishing up their drills. Her gaze fell on one particular acrobat who was teaching the group blocking techniques and some acrobatic manoeuvres to avoid an opponent. All the while doing so, Dick was smiling, encouraging the women to keep trying.

'He's not too bad,' Calliope said with amusement. 'For a mortal man, that is.'

Y/N turned to Calliope only to see a knowing smile on her friend's face. Only then did Y/N realise she was smiling stupidly wide, and made quick work to get rid of it. 'I guess so. But he's stupidly naive and impulsive. He'll get himself killed because of it.'

'Maybe,' Calliope said thoughtfully as she looked back at Dick for a moment before facing Y/N again. 'But isn't that how a true warrior should die? In battle fighting for what's right?'

Y/N didn't like the thought of Dick being clawed open or beheaded by monsters, so she quickly said, 'It's not his battle to fight in, though. He shouldn't be here.'

'But he is, Y/N,' Calliope insisted, coming to stand in front of Y/N so she had no choice but to make eye contact. 'And that's what makes him even braver. He's here helping us save our home; a home he had never seen until a few days ago; a home that has no connection to him whatsoever but he is here trying to save it.'

Before Y/N could protest, Calliope gripped Y/N's hands in a manner that was desperate and insistent. 'You should tell him. Before it's too late.'

Y/N furrowed her brows in confusion. 'What are you-'

'Oh, don't play dumb with me,' Calliope interrupted. 'I see how you look at him. You're worried about him. Which means you care, despite everything you say to convince us otherwise.'

Y/N went to deny it but couldn't find the words to do so. Her heart was being torn in so many different directions any time she thought about Dick, she didn't know what exactly she felt for him. It was hard to put into words what he meant to her, the good and the bad.

When she remained silent, Calliope patted Y/N's hands gently then dropped them as she too walked away, leaving Y/N standing frozen in a battle with her head and her heart.

Y/N could've been standing there for one minute or an hour for all she knew, until someone waved their hand in front of her face and broke her from her trance.

'Y/N,' Dick said, his brows furrowed in concern. 'You okay?'

Y/N took a deep breath in as she came back to the moment. 'Yes. Yes, I'm fine. Just...'

'Worried?' Dick offered, and Y/N was grateful for the change in subject. 'Well, I wouldn't be if I were you. These women are stronger than some of the heroes back home.'

Y/N raised a playful eyebrow. 'Only some?'

Dick chuckled. 'Okay, all of them.'

The two shared a quiet laugh, and it brought Y/N a sense of normalcy and nostalgia that warmed her heart.

She looked around as the remaining warriors finished their trainings and made to leave for their homes. Y/N could almost name each and every one of them, and there was the possibility that after tomorrow she would never see them again.

'Echidna is the one who should be worried,' Y/N said, her voice slightly shaky with anger and determination. She knew that if death were to come tomorrow, Y/N wouldn't be able to save them all. But she'd be damned if she didn't try to.

A warm calloused hand tentatively enclosed her fist, and the touch was enough to cease Y/N's shakes. 'I agree,' Dick said, two simple words seemingly echoing around the quiet training ground. His smile was smooth but genuine and Y/N could've believed they were eighteen again and back on the mainland and with the team. Back when his smile eased all her problems, back when Wally and all their lost friends weren't gone. Back when it was just them, and everything in Y/N's world made sense.

But now Y/N felt like she was on another planet, and they were about to go to war with the Mother of Monsters and nothing made sense anymore.

Y/N slowly pulled her had away from Dick's and cleared her throat as she stared straight ahead. 'We should probably get ready for the feast. Could be the last one we have in a while.' Or ever, she wanted to add, but Dick was an optimist and would ridicule her for thinking such thoughts and she really didn't want to keep talking with him.

'That's right,' Dick said, eyes brightening up at the thought of food. 'I bet you guys put on the best meals, as well.'

Y/N just rolled her eyes as they made their way across the training grounds to the stairs that would lead them back into town. 'A true boy. Only ever thinking about food.'

'A true girl. Turning every compliment into an insult.'

Y/N shoved him and he shoved her back and the two couldn't hold back radiant smiles. It astounded Y/N how easily they fell back into old habits. How familiar and safe Dick was.

'You should tell him. Before it's too late.'

Tell him what exactly? Y/N could hardly discern what mixture of emotions was running through her, let alone wheedle down to a specific point what her true feelings were for Dick. She'd been upset for so long, then angry at him. But the past three days he'd shown himself to be the Dick she'd always known and come to love. Kind, brave, funny, strong, compassionate.

It all lead her to a very confusing fork in the metaphorical road of her heart.

Even so, there was something she felt for him...

Just as Dick took a step down the stairs, Y/N found herself reaching out to him this time, bringing him to a stop with her soft grip on his shoulder. 'Wait.'

Dick looked over his shoulder immediately, his piercing blue eyes glued onto her with curiosity and wonder. 'Yeah?' he asked.

Y/N took in a deep breath, calming her racing heart as she said, 'I'm sorry.' When Dick only frowned with confusion, she elaborated. 'I'm sorry for doubting you. For being... well, I haven't been the most welcoming of people have I?'

Dick didn't say a word, but he turned fully around to face her, his face as serious as it was the other night on another staircase. Y/N's hand dropped to her side, and she found she could not look away from Dick's eyes as the words started falling out.

'I guess... I just didn't think you cared about us anymore,' she said. 'About the team, about me. And it made me so angry, but then you came to the one place I thought I could finally find peace again and I just couldn't accept that you were here for me. But I see now I was wrong.'

'No, I was the one who was wrong,' Dick said with a shake of his head. 'You had every right to be angry with me, in fact you still do. You were right, I was ignorant and only thought of my pain in those years I was away. I didn't think how coming here would affect you after everything I've done.'

Dick returned to the landing, now towering over Y/N, and took her hands in his and said in a gentle voice, 'I know I am far from forgiven, but I promise you, I will spend whatever time I have left on this earth trying to make it up to you.'

Y/N could hardly breathe with the way Dick was looking at her. It was almost dream-like, and suddenly all of her teenage emotions came rushing back into her bloodstream. The adoration, the awe, the love - it had remained all this time, she'd just repressed it in her time of pain and loss.

And it could've just been her, but something flickered briefly across Dick's face - the slightest arch of his brows, the minuscule twitch of his mouth. An emotion Y/N had no time to discern before Dick was the one stepping back and resuming his journey down the stairs, a careless smile on his face like the moment never happened.

'The showers await us, Princess,' he jested as he waved her after him. 'Wouldn't want to be late for the feast!'

Y/N stared after him for a moment, trying to process what just happened. He was serious, he would do anything to make it all up to her. And that look on his face...

Y/N shook herself out of her imagination. Probably just seeing things, she told herself as she followed Dick down the stairs. She wouldn't get her hopes up again.

Not for Dick Grayson of all people.

~~~

When Dick Grayson arrived back at his room, he drew himself a bath and allowed himself to relax if only for a few minutes. The first night in his room he'd been affronted to find a group of women ready to bathe him like a child. He'd argued with Y/N about them, her saying it was their tradition and all. Eventually she caved and dismissed the women from his room. He laughed at the memory, thinking beneath his own anger that she looked cute riled up.

There it was again - the thoughts he had never thought before.

He couldn't deny Y/N had grown into a beautiful young woman, one who stood by her values and always fought for the right thing. She'd stuck by the team when he couldn't, and for that he would always admire her.

But then again he had always admired her. That's part of the reason she was his best friend. She was this strong and loving individual that had always stuck by him and the others. She had the most infectious smile, and her laughter was like music-

Dick bolted upright in the bath, his heart racing at a million miles per hour as an alarming thought entered his mind. Do I like Y/N?

Well, it wasn't a matter of like. Of course he liked her, she was his best friend after all. But they'd never... she'd never implied...

He recalled when they were younger how many people - including their parents - said that he and Y/N would end up together. They were each other's better half, and honestly part of the reason he ended up breaking up with each and every one of his past girlfriends. Because they couldn't see how important Y/N was to him.

That didn't mean he liked her like that... did he?

Dick splashed his face one last time before leaping out of the bath to get ready for the feast. Maybe all the training he was doing was making him tired and delusional. After all, even if he truly felt that way for her, she'd never feel the same. Maybe once - though there was no telling so - but certainly not now.

However, they'd had a moment on the stairs this afternoon, and something felt... different. The way she looked at him had sent his gut rolling with something akin to a roller coaster, and the vision of her hair in the golden rays of sun had taken his breath away completely. Dick couldn't remember the last time he'd felt that way - completely and utterly entranced.

Dick dressed himself in the only set of clothes he'd come in and opened his door to find Calliope and other guards standing in the corridor.

'We are to escort you down to the feast, Mr. Grayson,' Calliope explained. 'By order of the Queen herself. You will be seated at their table tonight.'

Dick found this surprising as he usually sat with the soldiers of the group he'd trained that day, getting to know them and laughing with them. But he was to sit at the royals table, which consisted of Queen Hippolyta, some generals, and Y/N.

When they entered the dining hall, the feast had pretty much begun as hundreds and hundreds of women were already seated at long tables that ran almost from the door to the dais where the Queen sat chatting with other generals at their own long table. Dick made sure to greet any woman he knew as he was guided up to the royals' table.

'So nice of you to join us, Mr. Grayson,' the Queen said as Dick was seated.

'The pleasure is all mine, your Majesty,' he replied politely, then noted the empty chair between him and the Queen. 'Is Y/N not down yet?'

'She is usually late to these sorts of things,' the Queen replied defeatedly. 'She always fights with the maidens about her hair and dress. In that respect, she is very much her mother.'

As Queen Hippolyta turned back to the speak with the generals, a quiet voice leant in behind him and quietly said, 'Eager to see the princess are we?'

'W-What?' Dick exclaimed to Calliope. 'No, I'm not. I just... I'm just making conversation, that's all.'

'Whatever you say, mortal,' Calliope teased, her smile knowing and irritating as she remained by Dick's head.

He turned to her, annoyed. 'What do you mean by that?'

Calliope just shrugged. 'Nothing nobody doesn't already know.' When Dick just stared blankly at her, she rolled her eyes and said, 'You cannot tell me you do not feel for our princess. Do you not?'

It was like she was reading his mind or something. It was a little freaky and off-putting. But Dick was used to off-putting questions - journalists used them all the time on him when Dick did press interviews with Bruce.

So he calmly sat in his chair and looked out to the busy hall in front of him. 'Well, I still have the bruises from our first sparring match when I first got here so I guess I do feel something because of the princess.'

Calliope chuckled and shook her head. 'Avoid the question all you want, mortal. But Truth always has an interesting way of making itself known.'

Dick didn't like her know-it-all tone, and so finally turned around and said in a quiet but hard tone. 'My relationship with Y/N isn't up for debate here. She is my best friend, and the only thing I'm interested in is restoring her trust in me and saving your island.'

'How noble...' Calliope started, but her attention turned to the opening of the hall's doors and so Dick's eyes followed. He was struck still at the vision he was met with.

It was Y/N, draped in a flattering arrangement of white cloth that was synched at her waist with a golden chain. Her H/C hair had been put up in a loose bun, held together by golden pins. Plain sandals covered her feet as she made her way towards the dais, the many bracelets and arm bands adorning her arms flashing golden in the firelight.

Dick knew he was gaping, but he couldn't help it. No one could it seemed, as Y/N greeted many women along the way, and whispers of her beauty echoed throughout the hall. When she drew closer, her eyes connected with Dick's, and instead of the cold or distant expression she'd given him since day one, she offered him an embarrassed smile.

That brief interaction sent his heart in motion. It reminded him of the time they had gone to prom in their junior year of school. It had been the first time Dick had seen Y/N with makeup and in a dress. She'd given him the same embarrassed look, and he had been just as transfixed.

Dick felt someone lean in to his ear as he continued to watch Y/N make her way to the dais. 'But are you sure there is no other reason that you are here?' Calliope finished with a whisper.

She stepped back into her position before Dick could respond, not that he knew what he would say anyway. His gut was rolling so much with indecision that he thought he might throw up.

He was brought out of his thoughts as Y/N took her seat between him and the Queen. 'Grandmother,' she greeted coolly.

'Y/N,' the Queen responded, a kind smile stretching her lips. 'You look beautiful, my dear.'

'Thank you, but I still do not understand why I must wear this to every feast we have,' Y/N argued.

'It is tradition, and you are Themyscria's princess,' the Queen explained, tapping her granddaughter's hand in comfort before returning to her previous conversation.

Y/N sighed in mild defeat as she sat back in her chair. After a moment, she clocked that Dick was looking at her and sighed again. 'Not a single word from you, Grayson.'

'I wasn't going to say anything!' Dick retorted, quickly collecting himself.

'I can see it in your eyes that you're going to laugh at me.'

It took Dick a moment to realise she wasn't joking. She fidgeted with the loose cloth that draped over her body, eyes flickering from him to the crowd and back. She genuinely thought she looked ridiculous. If he was sixteen still, maybe he would've made a comment or two.

But sixteen was a long time ago now.

'No, I wasn't,' he said, and his answer must've surprised him as she turned to him with a perplexed expression on her face. 'You look... You look beautiful, Y/N.'

Y/N's E/C eyes scanned over his face, possibly searching for any kind of lie or detection of amusement. But she obviously didn't find anything, as she smiled at him, her eyes shining with surprise. 'Thank you. I would offer you the same compliment, but you've looked the same as you did the day you got here.'

'Ruggedly handsome?'

'Hmm, I'd say a bit worse for wear.'

Dick let out a painful groan as he slapped a hand across his chest where his heart was encased under. 'Wow! Way to wound a guy.'

Y/N just laughed, and Dick joined her, genuinely happy to see her smiling as they used to together. Once the laughter died, he said, 'But seriously, Y/N, you look great. And... I'm just glad you're not calling me Nightwing anymore.'

'Well,' Y/N started, fiddling with one of her bracelets, 'I figured you deserved that much after all your help.'

Help. That's right. He was helping her save her new home and new family. It wasn't because she'd forgiven him and were suddenly best friends again.

'I'm sorry to interrupt,' a young girl said, coming to stand on the other side of the table. 'But I just had something to discuss with you, Princess.'

'Of course,' Y/N answered, turning all her attention to the girl. 'Go ahead.'

Throughout dinner, Y/N was kept busy by other conversations with warriors and young girls and teachers alike that all had questions for their princess. Y/N answered every single one of their queries with enthusiasm and grace, not batting an eye as she ate and spoke and listened.

She was a natural and a pro. The whole time she spoke, Dick couldn't help but think about the two years he'd been gone for and how many times Y/N had to soothe a fear, had to deliver a confident speech that would encourage the team to keep going no matter how bleak the future seemed.

It saddened and pained him to think he'd forced that responsibility onto her in his absence. But she'd done it, held the team together and she was doing that right now as well for her people.

Upon the conclusion of dinner, the Queen called for silence as she rose to address the hall. 'Evening everyone,' she started, her voice radiating composure and control. 'Tonight, we are in the presence of our own history in the making. Tomorrow, we face Echidna, the Mother of Monsters.'

The mention of the goddess sent whispers of fear rattling throughout the crowd, but they were quickly silenced by the raise of the Queen's hand. 'I know some of you, if not all of you, are fearful of the coming events. Echidna is a foe that will not be so easily defeated. However, this is what we have trained for. This is what us Amazons are built for.

"Think of the young women, young girls and infants in their houses sleeping peacefully right now. Think of the women you grew up with, of the friendships and sisterhoods you have forged in those years. Think of the woman beside you now. That is who you fight for when Echidna comes. Not ourselves, but the women" - the Queen made a pointed look at Dick as she continued - "and man that reside on this island tonight. They will need you when the fight comes. So are you ready?'

The entire hall exploded with cheers and whistles of eagerness, and that brought a bright smile to Queen Hippolyta's face. 'In that case, enjoy tonight. Dance, eat, drink, sing. Be free.'

By the flick of the Queen's wrist, the band in the corner Dick hadn't seen started playing beautiful music and the tables were moved to create room for a dance floor.

'Princess, you must join us for a dance!' Some young girls came around the table and gently pulled Y/N from her seat, to which Y/N just laughed as she allowed them to drag her to the dance floor. Dick watched Y/N join the other women, watched her smile stretch wide and bright, watched her embrace and let herself go as she danced.

When was the last time she'd done that?

'...when we last spoke, she sounded like she didn't want to be found. That she would come back to us when she was ready...'

'Maybe she doesn't want to see you, have you considered that?'

Kaldur's words haunted him, had been since he left M'gann and Connor's house. He just hadn't taken his friend's warning seriously until now.

Kaldur was right.

Dick rose from his seat and quickly excused himself from the party, suddenly overwhelmed by the music and the full room. He escaped to one of the balconies nearby and was relieved that he could finally hear himself think. And yet now he could hear it all in the outdoor silence - the conflicting emotions and thoughts running through him.

Did she really belong here or back home?

Did he mean as much to her anymore as much as she meant to him?

What did he truly feel for her?

What will happen when Echidna strikes tomorrow?

So many issues and so little time to solve them all.

He didn't know how long he stood there, looking out over the mountain and ocean, over the flickering lights of those who feasted in their homes. It could've been hours, and yet the full moon barely moved.

'What are you doing out here?'

Dick was knocked out of his mind at the sound of the sweet voice, and he turned to find Y/N standing on the steps that lead back inside to the bustling party, an exhausted grin adorning her flushed face. With the firelight behind her and the moon shining onto her dress, Dick could've sworn she glowed divinely.

'S-Sorry?' he called out, confused as to why she was out there in the first place.

'I asked what are you doing out here all by yourself on such a beautiful night?' Y/N repeated, walking down the steps before making her way over to him at the balcony's edge. 'You're usually one for parties if high school was any indicator.'

Dick tried to laugh, but it came out as a weak cough. 'Yeah well, we're a long way from high school, aren't we.'

'What's going on with you?' Y/N asked, and Dick could feel her stare on him. 'You've been oddly... quiet this evening.'

'I just don't feel well is all. Don't worry I will be fine for the battle tomorrow.'

'That's a load of crap, Grayson and you know it.'

Dick didn't reply, just looked out over the ocean in the hopes that she would leave. But she didn't and Dick finally turned to meet her stare. It was like she was undressing him, but not in the physical sense. In the way she'd always been able to read him and say silently that she knew he wasn't okay.

That one stare made him feel more vulnerable than being naked, or doing flips off a podium twenty metres in the air with no safety net to catch him.

'I just... I've been doing some thinking,' he started, 'and I think that... if we both survive this... that you should stay here. On Themyscira. If that is what you want.'

Y/N scrunched her brows in confusion. 'So... you're giving me permission to stay here if we all live through Echidna's war? Seriously?'

Dick turned to her fully. 'No, I mean yes- But no you don't need my permission to stay, I just... I'm sorry this is coming out all wrong.' He took a calming breath before starting again. 'What I mean to say is, I came after you for the wrong reasons. I was being selfish and stubborn. But I want you to be happy. And seeing you dance tonight with the other women... well, I can't remember the last time myself or any of the team brought you that kind of happiness.'

'What about your mission?' she asked, her voice distant, almost scared.

Dick flashed her a casual smile. 'Don't worry about it. I'll manage. I never should've come here in the first place. I'm sorry.' Dick gestured back to the stairs and started back-tracking towards them. 'Let's go rejoin the party while we still can, huh? You're right, I do love a good party.'

Just as he turned his back, Y/N called out. 'I'm not.'

He paused for a moment, then looked over his shoulder to find Y/N looking at him with an intensity that almost sent him staggering. 'What?' he asked.

'I'm not sorry you came,' she answered, taking a deep breath in to maintain her composure.

Surprised by her answer, Dick turned back to her. 'You're not?'

She shook her head, then started fidgeting with her dress and looked down. 'Am I angry you came? Yes, initially. Am I still hurting because of what you did, and is your presence just a daily reminder of that pain? Most definitely.'

That last one struck him deep. He had never wanted to be the cause of so much pain. Not to her of all people.

After another deep breath, Y/N finally looked up at him. 'But that doesn't mean I didn't miss you.'

There it was again, that look she'd given him on the stairs earlier, in fact she'd given it to him many times before, he realised. Not just on Themyscira but back home, back when they were sixteen. It was the look of truth and honesty, of adoration and care.

His heart thumped so heavily in his chest he swore Y/N could hear it, and while he didn't understand what the thought of Y/N missing him implied, he knew how it made him feel.

'I missed you too,' he said honestly, returning to stand in front of Y/N. He didn't know why, but it felt right to reach for her hands, and she didn't push him away as he enclosed his fingers around hers. 'A-And being here has made me realise something else, too.'

'What's that?' Her breath fanned his face they stood so close, closer than what simple friends should. But he didn't care, it felt right, it felt natural.

'That I... I just...' He couldn't get the words out, they were so heavy with meaning they got stuck in his throat. Both afraid and excited to say them aloud, he couldn't decide what fate would be worse. Be honest and rejected, or be honest and see if she felt the same.

'You what, Dick?' she whispered, eyes never leaving his.

They both realised that it was the first time she'd called him by his first name since he'd landed on Themyscira. And if that wasn't a sign, then Dick didn't know what would be.

'I just...' Dick started, but a shadow crossed over Y/N's face and he quickly turned to find a a giant winged creature with fangs and a humanoid body reaching to him with its claws.

'Get down!' Dick cried as he turned and dove to the ground with Y/N. He felt the talons of the creature brush against his back as he partially covered Y/N out of natural instinct. The creature screeched as it soared high above again, disappearing into the darkness despite the moonlight.

'Are you okay?' Dick asked as he helped Y/N to her feet.

'Yes, I'm fine,' Y/N said, her eyes trained on the sky.

'What was that?' Dick asked, trying to spy the creature but there was no sign of it anywhere.

'That was a harpy,' Y/N answered, then her eyes locked on to something in the sky, her face paling with fear.

Dick followed her gaze and found himself frozen with fear himself. The harpy had come back but with more of its kind. Many more. So much so they blocked out the moon and engulfed the palace in darkness.

'Echidna's war...' Y/N breathed out in disbelief. 'It' has begun.'

---------------------

Tag List:

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[kaiyunsim]

In between sets —

pairing : idol!anton x male!reader

summary : after recently coming back to the gym, you are a bit rusty and forget what to do. luckily, the only other person who goes is willing to help.

warnings : SMUT!! (dni minors), unprotected sex, kinda dacryphillia, sex in a public setting, sex while hiding, (provably more but idk, pls lmk if i should add more)

a/n : THESE ANTON PHOTOS GOT ME FEELING REALLY H***Y !!! also first smut so lmk how it is and maybe i’ll do more

— (w/c : 2.7k) — not proof read — minors dni —

anton had a routine. 3-4 times a week. early mornings before practice. sometimes he would have a gym buddy which was normally sungchan, wonbin, or eunseok but this time he decided to go solo.

he always has airpods in, keeping his mind in check by playing some music. he a was used to seeing the usuals, especially since the gym is almost always empty in the early mornings but was somewhat surprised to see someone new, someone he hasn’t seen before.

the newbie seemed to be fumbling their way through the weights section, looking moody along the rows of equipment. anton couldn’t help but notice him, it was quite a cute sight to see. they weren’t decked out in typical gymwear, instead, opting for a loose hoodie and sweats. their hair was slightly disheveled, looking as if they didn’t intend on coming today but decided to give it a try anyway.

by the end of his set, anton glanced over and noticed they were staring over at a dumbbell with what seemed like frustration or confusion. it was almost endearing. with a smirk, anton walks over.

“hey,” anton starts, pulling out one of his airpods. “you new here?”

you blink to look up to him, somewhat startled, you didn’t really notice him, “uh, yeah. just…trying to get back into shape,” you say, scratching the back of your head with a shy grin. “i’m y/n”

“oh, um… i think so. i used to work out, like, two years ago? but i kind of forgot what i was doing.” you laugh, clearly a little embarrassed, and anton found himself chuckling too.

“don’t worry about it,” anton said, leaning in a little closer. “why don’t we start with something simple? i’ll spot you.”

they moved to the bench press, anton demonstrating the proper grip and form as you listened intently. anton couldn't help but notice the way your eyes lingered, just a little too long, whenever he showed you a move. you would look and keep eye contact but it would wander to view the visible muscles you can see on anton’s arms. every time he reached in to help adjust your grip or stance, he noticed a brief flicker in your gaze, almost like he was wondering if the proximity was intentional. anton found himself leaning in just a touch closer each time.

as they finished up, anton noticed that you seemed more relaxed, even playful. you lightly punched anton's shoulder as they headed to the water fountain, giving him a grin. “thanks, man. i feel like i’m getting my gym routine back”

“no problem,” anton replied, feeling a heat rise as your eyes met his, this time lingering. "you know, i don’t mind helping out… if you need someone to keep you motivated.”

you pause, then smile, his eyes narrowing slightly with a glint of interest. you found anton attractive, plus it was a gym buddy that could help you get in shape, “how about tomorrow, same time?”

“deal.” anton’s heart raced as they exchanged numbers, both a little reluctant to say goodbye.

╴╴╴╴╴⊹ꮺ˚ ╴╴╴╴╴⊹˚ ╴╴╴╴˚ೃ ╴╴

the next morning, anton is already warmed up and stretching, tired due to having practices after his session yesterday, when he spots a familiar face coming in. today, your hoodie is swapped for a fitted t-shirt, showing more of your lean frame. anton can’t help but notice, a small blush playing on his face along with a smirk. you seems a little more confident, giving anton a nod and a smile as he heads over.

there was a change of focus today, instead of looking to work on arms, it was a day for the legs. anton guided you to the part where you squat with weights to improve your legs. trying nudge you to push yourself, anton adds more weights than you normally do so that he can spot you but as he does so you notice his eyes wandering up and down, smirk and all.

as they go through their workout, the tension between them feels more palpable than ever. you guys are talking and joking, but the physical closeness during spotting, the occasional brush of hands, and lingering eye contact hint at something more.

anton was almost certain you were flexing your muscles a bit when you caught anton watching, and anton found himself lingering longer than he usually would when spotting him.

after a few exercises, they move to the bench press again. you lay down, and anton stepped into position to spot him, standing right above him. their eyes met, and for a second, neither of them said anything. your eyes wander to his lower half before looking away and coughing hoping he didn’t notice. you start breathing a little heavier than you should have been, your gaze locked on anton’s, and the air felt thick.

anton finally broke the silence, his voice low. “you’ve got this. focus on your breathing.”

but you weren’t focused on your breathing. you barely even heard the words as anton leaned closer, hands hovering over yours, fingers just inches from touching. you could feel the heat radiating from him, and you couldn’t resist any longer. as you sit up after his last rep, you decide to stay close, closer than necessary, your knee brushing against anton’s leg.

finally, as they’re finishing up, they take a moment to rest on one of the benches near the locker rooms. you lean back, catching your breath, and give anton a sly look.

“you make this a lot more fun than i expected,” you say, your eyes glinting. “not sure i’d be so motivated without you.”

anton chuckles, feeling bold. “maybe we should work on some, uh, cool-down stretches together,” he suggests, half-joking but hoping his fellow gym goer catches the hint.

“maybe i should… uh, grab a shower after this,” you say, his voice barely a whisper. “you wanna join me?” you joke playfully.

anton didn’t hesitate. he made his way to the locker room, the silence charged with anticipation. the sound of water echoed through the empty space as he stripped off his sweaty top.

you immediately blush, and he could see your reaction. now you remain at a loss of words at the sight of anton’s body. fuck… it wasn’t the most built but he had some meat and muscle. “a-anton… i was joking” you try clear up, trying to drag him out of the locker rooms.

“well, i’m going to pretend that you weren’t” anton says, almost with a different, more teasing, energy. he tries to close the gap between them, enjoying the squirming you do when he does so.

he pushed you down on to a bench, “you don’t think i never saw you staring right?” he said playfully. his arms placed on both of your shoulders keeping you still.

your eyes widen, feeling the weight of anton makes you squirm slightly. you remain quiet, not able to form a sentence coherently in the current situation you are in.

anton kept that sly ass smirk, “why don’t you take this off?” he teases, playing with the hem of your shirt.

he was really pushing your buttons now. but you know that there was no one else in the gym because it was so early so…

fuck it.

(smut starts here)

you knew what anton was implying so you decided to catch him off guard and make the first move. you quickly close the gap between the two of you, lips colliding. your lips parted along with antons, and like that, the tension finally snaps.

their kiss was slow at first, you wanted it to be careful of course, but anton quickly takes control and it becomes more intense, fuled with the excitement building up throughout the days.

your hands find themselves on anton’s chest, fingers tracing the ridges and lines of his muscles, long with squeezing his pecs, feeling it out, almost as if you are trying to memorize them. anton’s hands find their way down to your waist, enjoying how their bodies fit perfectly.

you break the kiss to catch your breath, looking rugged and already worked up. anton sees you like this and brings back the smug smirk, with a hint of desire behind it, “you look so fucking cute right now,” he says, ruffling you rough hair while staring into your half-lidded eyes.

your usual shyness was softened by the confidence that had come from finally breaking the tension, you resch up, hand sliding to the back oh anton’s neck, and pulls him in for another kiss, slower this time to savor the moment.

anton’s hands move from over the fabric, to the shin of your waist, show removing your shirt to see your body for himself. “yknow,” anton says, running a finger along your jawline, “i don’t normally do this with gym buddies”

you undo the belt buckle to signal that your waiting for from anton, “nice to know im special” you let his pants drop seeing a bulge in his underwear. “someone wants to say hello,” kai says playfully.

anton’s smirk looks like it’s derived from something primal, “in the gym space? you’re something else” he says, giving a quick search of anyone else before pulling out his cock.

it was something else, nothing too big, but something that definitly match his body. you guys switch positions, anton sitting on the bench and you on the floor on your knees, appreciating the sight in front of you. your gaze didn’t last too long as you quickly took the head in.

his legs spread further, giving you easier access to what you want. “god… fuck…” it’s been forever since anton was able to do something like this as he is an idol. but since it was at a time where no one was around it was almost perfect for anton.

you take it deeper and deeper, bobbing up and down, keeping a steady, not so fast, pace before you feel a force from the back of your head. it was anton’s hand, pushing down further and faster. you start to gag, it was too much for you, but anton liked that. some tears started to stream and everything was getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen

“yeah, you like that?” he says with a smirk, lifting his hand from you neck to let you catch your breath. you soon pop off your motch fron his dick, heavily breathing as your vision started to get blurry.

without letting you recover, anton picks you up and places you on the bench, stripping your bottom half while doing so. now that both of you are without clothes, anton can give you some attention.

his hand runs along your thighs, eventually reaching your shaft, nice and hard. “mind if i play with this?” he asks. you give him a nod, still catching your breath.

he takes it and starts stroking it, making you react with whimpering and squirming. it was the feeling of recovery and that sumg ass smirk he kept on his face as he looks you down as he strokes you.

some moans started to leave your mouth as he stroked faster and faster, “a-anton… t-thats too much…”

“c’mon, you dont have to call me anton, what about toni? my friends call me that sometimes,” he teases you verbally, while also teasing you physically, slowing his pace on your shaft.

“t-toni…” you whimper, “i think we shouldn-“ you say before you get cut off by anton’s sneaky lips.

“that’s enough,” he says, letting go of your shaft, making you needy as he leaves you with no stimulation. you sit there, looking like an absolute mess on one of the workout benches and anton takes a step back to admire how you look.

he then spreads your legs which makes you react with surprise, “w-wait,” you retort but before you could say anymore you feel antons cock enter you.

you thought he would start off slow but it was the opposite, thrusting into you with what seemed like no other thoughts. it was probably because of how you looked like how messed up he made you already.

it was so big inside you, hitting your prostate everytime, making you a moaning mess. it was good, making your eyes roll up and back arch for better angles.

he enjoyed the warmth inside you, after being a trainee he hasn’t been able to have anything like this so his body reactes well to your warmth and tightness.

though you guys were making lots of noise you were able to hear the chime that happens when the front door opens. panicked, anton picks you up,dick still in you, and brings you to the shower room.

you’re able to hear a voice, “anton are you here? manager’s looking for you,” you arent able to distingust the voice but anton can, it was eunseok, one of his hyungs he goes to the gym with.

anton likes the sense of thrill that comes from the situation happening right now, he puts you on a shelf and smirks, hoping you get the message with whats going to happen.

he turns on the shower to cause some noise in the bathroom before starting to thrust into you again, softer this time but more calculated to a reaction from you. and it definitely did. you closed your eyes, trying to focus on the sensation. you opened your mouth to make a noise but anton covered it with his hand, “can’t have the other person know what’s happening can we?” he whispers playfully. he liked seeing you like this, recuded to a mes because of him, yet not able to express it.

“yeah eunseok, i’m just showering,” he replied, sounding normal. in reality he looked as rough and sweatt as ever.

“well, hurry up, you have an early schedule today” eunseok reminded before the same chime played, indicating he left.

anton finally lets go of your mouth, letting your whimpers and moans out only to be silenced again by his mouth meeting yours.

“god damn, just hearing you makes me wanna cum,” anton groans, head tilting back.

“y-you should…” you manage to get out between the noises he makes you make.

just by hearing that anton’s pace quickens, “fuck, you asked for it,” he says, riding his climax out, letting his fluids leak into you. he knows you’re close but haven’t came yet so he tries to put all his attention to you.

anton keeps his semi hard cock in you, slow pace just to let you enjoy, practiaclly for cockwarming. he knows you can’t cum with just him moving slowly so he grasps your shaft and starts stroking it while also putting attention to your nipples with his mouth.

anton takes his mouth off for a moment “you like that? my cock in you while you’re a moaning mess?” anton teases,

if your were moaning before, you’re fucking crying from pleasure now. it was so much happening and anton knew what he was doing to you.

he takes your hand and places it in his own pecs and lets your feel him out. as you feel everything happen all at the same time it’s only inevitable that you would reach your climax.

“toni..!” you moan the other man’s name loudly, “i-i’m gonna cum!” you scream.

you feel a large sense of euphoria while white stings of cum come out of your cock, landing on anton’s and your chest and abs. anton finally takes out his cock from your ass.

“f-fuck,” you say, recovering from the high dooamine sensation.

“let’s get you cleaned up,” he says as you both clean up from the sensual encounter you guys had. anton lets you shower but he doesn’t because he’s in a hurry as eubseok was waiting for him.

you guys both leave the locker room and you finally get to see the face of the mysterious voice. you bow to eunseok before saying bye to anton.

“why are your workout clothes on the bench?” eunseok questions while they both exit.

“oh erm,” anton stutters, trying to come up with an excuse, “i was just really sweaty,” he replies, obviously lying

“and why is your hair dry? i thought you just showered?” eunseok questioned further,

and just like that, anton knew he was fucked.

[black--sun]

The sound of that laugh tickles his ear and tightens his stomach. Ichigo’s eyes slide to Shiro. He feels haunted now. But even being haunted would be better than telling himself Shiro was gone and never coming back. He huffs out a breath and finds a smirk. “Yeah, let’s just see how things shake out over the next few days first. I might go first.” Getting distracted with sex is a bad idea, not that he expects they’ll actually sidestep that obstruction. He nods, but it’s a hesitant motion because he’s not sure he should agree to that. But they’re just talking. It doesn’t mean any of this will happen. They’ve always been like that.

He thinks Shiro is just trying to cover his ass in the conversation so he doesn’t look too involved, but the words are a little disappointing. He’s not even sure why.

Ichigo scoffs then repeats, “Fancy reading…” with an eye roll. It’s not even inaccurate, he just doesn’t like his job being reduced to two, semi-dismissive words. But he calls Shiro a drug dealer all the time, so maybe that’s hypocritical. He crosses his arms and presses his lips. “I just like the idea that someone three centuries ago put their words onto paper, and I can pick them up now, hundreds of years after they’re gone, and it’s still relevant. No one lives forever, but we do live on.” It’s completely inappropriate to butt up against all that sex talk, but he ignores that and presses on. “You’ve always been more than clear about that.” Maybe that’s why Ichigo has so much trouble picking people up. He isn’t clear about when he wants someone. He doesn’t even want that many people, but unless they’re completely obvious with their interest, he doesn’t know what to do. Like Grimmjow and Orihime, then Shiro and Yuu. Huh. Maybe that is his problem.

Shiro narrows his eyes, and those words carry just enough sass Ichigo can’t help his smirk. If Ichigo disliked Shiro’s tastes, he wouldn’t want in his closet so bad. But someone needs to harass Shiro. There’s no way he puts up with it from all those lackeys he keeps around. Then again, Shiro was always sensitive to comments about what he wears. “I’m joking. I wouldn’t want to shop with you if I thought you were bad at it.”

Ichigo glances over as they walk, then shrugs. “It’s just all the way out here. I have that job to finish. I can’t be everywhere.” And he doesn’t want Shiro alone. But Shiro seems… disappointed. Maybe Shiro likes it better out here. Maybe there’s less pressure. There’s also a lot more opportunity to murder him quietly. “If you’re really planning to go with me on that job, we need to think about where we’re going to be.” That meeting is in the early hours of the morning. Either really late tonight or really early tomorrow depending on how he looks at it. Ichigo’s guessing it’s normally a time Shiro is sleeping off whatever he’s on. They have enough time to get a little sleep before heading out for a long day that’ll end with him sneaking into a high rise. “But if you’d rather stay somewhere with your boyfriend, you can just tell me.”

“Yeah.” Ichigo circles the SUV Shiro points out, checking the outside before crawling under it. He’s not sure they’d use the same method twice, but he’d be an idiot not to check. He shimmies back out a few minutes later, clicking off the light on his phone. “It’s clear. Drop me off by my car. I’ll follow you.”

"About my- ?" He almost says boyfriend, but stops himself and shrugs. "I dunno. I guess I did. It's hard not to wonder if the cop you're bangin', who clearly knows who the biggest drug dealer in town is, is just being a cop. Under cover or whatever. Maybe it just looked less suspicious to be upfront about it when I asked him if he was a cop. You were worried about that girl in my bathroom, but the cop would be the right way to do it." Shiro's aware of his own weaknesses. A hot guy with that added element of forbidden and dangerous that being a police officer brings certainly got his attention.

He tosses his phone onto the bed after sending Ichigo the lady's contact info. He knows Ichigo would treat her right if he contacts her at all.

That laugh sounds uncomfortable. Part of him wishes they could dispense with the trying they're both doing, the other part of him is grateful for the efforts. "It's true, I been bad at not giving you what you want from the very start." Shirt? But it only takes him a second, because when he moved out of his apartment he found that shirt. He thought about giving it to Renji to give back to Ichigo, but he couldn't quite make himself do it. "That was your favorite?"

He gets his answer the moment Ichigo looks at him. They know each other well enough for him to read Ichigo just fine. It's flattering. Then the verbal answer Ichigo gives is weirdly touching. It's very sweet, and maybe too honest, but he finds himself liking it anyway. If they can't be together, maybe they can at least be on good terms. Even not being partners, he likes Ichigo's company.

He snorts. "Of course I did, I look good in or out of anything." But being put to bed sounds nice. Warm and cozy and comfortable sounds nice. He is tired, mentally at least. He offers up a little half smirk at the reassurance. "Let's get outta here. Where do you wanna go?"

[tomorrowxtogether]

SOOBIN: “I thought I should just try to shine as I am.”

TOMORROW X TOGETHER The Star Chapter: SANCTUARY comeback interview

2024.11.11

He once strived to become a lush, towering forest. But he realized that people will love him for exactly what he is—a deep, rolling ocean. And so, he decided to remain as whom he always has been: an ocean named SOOBIN.

You took a trip to Vietnam earlier this year with BEOMGYU. I heard you planned the whole thing. SOOBIN: I’m usually the kind of person who just goes around without a real plan, but since we don’t get much vacation time, I figured we’d better go all out and do everything we could in one go, so I tried planning it all out. (laughs) BEOMGYU just wanted to go with the flow, but there was a ton of stuff I wanted to do.

I’m sure it’s not easy taking a trip or spending your off time with the same people you spend all your time with. SOOBIN: I hang out a lot with the rest of the group on my own time too, though. Three of us were all hanging out together just yesterday. To be perfectly honest, it doesn’t feel like anything special since we’re always together 365 days a year, but I’m also most comfortable around them for the same reason.

Sometimes people start bickering with each other when they get too comfortable with one another, but you’re always so kind—like how you gifted BEOMGYU with a nap in that “The Perfect Way to Rest” video when you remembered he was feeling tired. SOOBIN: I think I’m good at picking up on things. I don’t know if I can do it with everyone, but at least with the other members of the group, I’m pretty good at telling how they’re feeling or if they’re not feeling well. As soon as I see one of them, I can tell, Oh, he looks a little rough today, or, He’s sure in a good mood today. (laughs) If they seem down, I go over to them to find out what’s wrong and talk it over.

Your kindness also comes across when you’re with animals, like in the “OUR TOMORROW” video, where you took care of one dog who was so nervous that it didn’t get a chance to eat any treats. Have you always been drawn to people and creatures that are small and left out? SOOBIN: So, so much. In fact, I was really shy and struggled to fit in when I was a trainee. I was really lonely at first. So when time passed and I finally got accustomed to things, if I saw another trainee who was shy and couldn’t adjust, I felt like looking out for them. Kai was among them. (laughs) That’s how I ended up becoming really close with him.

You talked about the cat your sister adopted recently, explaining how it used to be shy because it had a hard life in the past but that it finally opened up this year. SOOBIN: I went to see the cat when my sister first got it, but I couldn’t even see it that first time—it just hid under the couch. It was so shy that I thought I’d never get to pet it, but the last time I saw it, it came right up to me and started purring, wanting to be petted. It was able to overcome its painful past and open up to my family thanks to all the love they show looking after it. Love really does have the power to change anything. (laughs)

You also said on weverse LIVE recently that you made a new friend who you can talk about dramas, movies, and books with. SOOBIN: For me, dramas and movies don’t end with watching them—after you’re done watching, that’s when things are just getting started. I always look up reviews and analyses online. People can watch the same thing and they’ll all have their own thoughts on it, so I’m curious about all those different views, and now I have someone to talk about that with. They know a lot more about books and movies than I do, so I end up learning a lot when we’re sharing our thoughts together. Just having a friend to share my interests with is really fun.

You mentioned talking about Inside Out 2, and you looked at how it features a place to store things you’ve heard that you want to keep for a long time, which got you thinking about what sort of things you would want to hold onto. SOOBIN: I kept recalling things my friends say after we hang out—things like, “SOOBIN, I’m so happy we’re friends,” and, “I feel great whenever I’m with you.” Hearing things like that really touches my heart. Seriously, how often do you get to hear things like that in life? I used to find expressing things like that awkward and weird, but thanks to my friends, I’m getting used to saying I love and appreciate people. You empathized with how Anxiety works harder and feels more anxious than others because they want to be good at things. Are there things you feel you should work harder at than other people? SOOBIN: I’m actually slower at learning choreography compared to the other members. I assumed I’d get a lot better after debuting and regularly performing onstage, but progress was slower than I expected. I didn’t say anything about this before, and I even kept it a secret from the other members, but I actually got separate choreo lessons on the side when we were doing “Chasing That Feeling” and “Deja Vu.” We’d take lessons as a group, and then once I was alone I’d always spend about an hour dancing and working on the little details. I tried so hard with those two most recent songs that I even practiced on my own like that. Seeing as I’m slow, I have to work harder to keep up with the other members. If I have more time, I want to practice more for this comeback, too.

With all the touring you’ve done and the encore performances you have coming up, it must’ve been really hectic getting ready for your Star Chapter: SANCTUARY comeback. SOOBIN: The schedule was really tight this time around—we even had to record vocals in Japan in the middle of the tour since we were in and out of the country—but now that we’re in our sixth year, the five of us were all really fast about things. I could sense that we had grown compared to before since we were faster at recording than we could’ve expected to be in the past and it took us less time to work out the details of the choreography.

The album’s subtitle, SANCTUARY, is a word that’s appeared in TOMORROW X TOGETHER albums before. What’s been your sanctuary these days? SOOBIN: I never used to have a sanctuary, which made getting through tough times hard, but I do now: simple things like working out or reading. It feels like the things that break me away from overthinking and let me immerse myself in something else are my sanctuary.

You were complimented on your previous promotions for your improved vocals and high notes. What about on this album? SOOBIN: Actually, every other album we’ve done had a song in a genre I wasn’t confident in, but not this time. The single “Over The Moon” is really laid-back, and I felt like it was perfect timing for us to try out a song like that. What’s unfortunate is that I caught this horrendous cold during recording. We started practicing for live performances recently, and the director said, “SOOBIN’s singing better than he did when recording. He makes it sound effortless.” So I couldn’t help but think about how much better I could’ve done if only my throat had been in better shape.

You always focus a lot on lyrics. Were there any on this album that have stuck with you in particular? SOOBIN: This album isn’t so much about telling some big, sweeping story as it is about everything we’ve been through together. Now that we’ve been through all that chaos, it’s about the universal emotion of love, which everyone can relate to, and I liked that about it. There’s a line in “Higher Than Heaven” that sticks with me that goes, “I think I kinda get what forever means now.” I even once said, “I never used to believe in the word ‘forever,’ but I think I can now, thanks to our fans.” I didn’t write that part, but it’s like it was written to perfectly capture my feelings.

The other members have probably had an impact on your belief in the word “forever,” too. SOOBIN: I’m pretty sure we’re going to grow old together and that we’ll be together till the day I die. We do the same thing and basically live the same life day in and day out, so we know what makes each other cry the most during concerts, too. Whether it’s my tears of happiness or BEOMGYU’s tears of disappointment from a leg injury, having friends to understand and share those feelings with is nice. They’re all just really kind people—calm and clear, like a stream. None of us is domineering or splashing around, disturbing the peace, and nobody’s dirtying the water, so I think we’ll be able to stick together for a long, long time.

You said before that you had found being onstage tough while touring. Now that you’ve already wrapped up your third world tour, do you still find that to be the case? SOOBIN: I think I’m getting better over time. I still can’t say that I completely enjoy myself, but the worries I used to have before going onstage have gone away entirely. There used to be times where I found it hard to watch myself onstage because I didn’t like how I looked, but now I see myself up there and I think I look cool. (laughs)

The way you have a different outfit on for every sound check when you’re on tour is definitely cool. SOOBIN: For fans who come even though they’re busy, showing up hours before the concert just to wait, doing it purely out of love, I wanted to be more stylish, so I bought a lot of clothes just for sound checks. The glasses-plus-cardigan combo was something I bought in advance for summer, and the reaction from the audience was amazing! They showed me on the big screen and MOA was screaming their lungs out—like, not the usual “wow,” but, “aah!” Like shock and awe. (laughs) I was worried I went overboard with the look, but they showed they liked it, so I was happy.

There’s no way not to bring up your cover of the Choi Yu Ree song “Forest” when talking about you. You said that the people around you are like tall trees in a forest and that you thought you’re one of them, but that you figured out you’re actually more like the ocean. SOOBIN: It’s easy to find people around me who are better looking and sing and dance better than I do. I actually started thinking about that at Lollapalooza. The other members looked so happy and like they were having so much fun onstage, but I couldn’t. I felt eaten up inside seeing myself not being able to fully enjoy it because of all the pressure. Then I heard Choi Yu Ree explaining that “Forest” is about feeling like you’re not good enough and I thought, “Ah, so that’s what I’ve been going through.” I started to understand my emotions a little bit better. Everyone ends up comparing themselves to others at some point in their lives—it’s unavoidable. And they have times where all they can see are the things they hate about themselves, but it’s ridiculous. I was overflowing with negative feelings when I was working on my “Forest” cover, and I wanted to sort of deal with those feelings and express them.

The music video echoes your thoughts that someday you’ll come to shore and become one with the forest. What does the forest mean to you? SOOBIN: Just being a singer who’s good at singing and dancing, interacting with my fans, enjoying performing, and being able to do it all with complete sincerity. I think I was showing how the forest to me means being happy with the other members when they’re happy. Nothing big—just simple things I’m not always that good at.

Do you feel more like a forest now that some time has gone by? SOOBIN: Umm … I saw a ton of comments from fans after I covered “Forest.” My mindset when I was doing it was, Right now I’m like the ocean, but I’ll become a part of the forest just like you guys—so wait for me until then. But once I saw what fans were writing, I changed my mind and thought, Do I really need to become a part of the forest? I could be similar to the forest, but I don’t have to change myself to be one. My fans kept saying, “The whole reason we liked you in the first place is because you’re like the ocean, not because we hoped you’d become like a forest. If that were the case, we’d like somebody else. Why do you think it was you?” The ocean comes with its own perks, you know. You need to have some ocean near a forest to add to the scenery and have more things to do. Now I think maybe I tried too hard to fit in by trying to be like the forest. Now I feel like I can shine bright just by being myself.

That lines up with what you recently said in an interview you did in Japan when you said that your 20s, the best and most energetic time of life, are dazzling and fun thanks to knowing MOA. What do you think you’ll see when you look back on this youthful period of your 20s? SOOBIN: Joy. Every moment of our lives is packed with good times and bad times, joy and sorrow, but in the end, I think, I’m on a path towards joy. Even things that are so agonizing that you want to die—so bad you feel like the whole world is against you, and so bad you’re certain they’re weighing on you forever, eventually pass.

Doesn’t it almost feel funny sometimes, looking back after all that? (laughs) SOOBIN: Yes. It ends up feeling so trivial somehow. Things that felt massive at the time are like a speck in the distance once you get even a little space between them and yourself. Even after all the hardship I went through being a trainee, I can look back now and see there were a lot of good times. Maybe we tend to romanticize the past a bit? (laughs) Even some of the stuff I’m going through now can be tough, to be honest, but I’m never going to give up. There’s still so much I want to give. The amount of joy I derive from doing this is way higher than the amount of difficulty. I think my life’s amazing, even right now.

So amazing. (laughs) SOOBIN: I think so too! (laughs) As time goes on and I get older, when I look back on my youth, my time with TOMORROW X TOGETHER, I wonder if it’ll look that much more shiny and amazing. Maybe I’ll feel I was even cooler at this time than I feel I am now.

[weirdosandcoins]

A/b/o with omega!sasuke and alpha!naruto

Naruto who between his sweeter scent, skill at defusing via talk-no-jutsu, and general care and affection vs Sasuke's earthy scent, standoff behavior, and seemingly long suffering with Naruto's antics tend to have folks assuming Naruto is an omega and Sasuke an alpha.

People thinking Naruto was an Omega back in the day used to bother him cause people do tend to be prejudice against omegas and with Naruto already being looked down on as the demon fox orphan, he would lose his temper a bit

Sasuke kept a tight lid on his scent for basically the majority of his time defected and being assumed an alpha tends to work in his favor (though so did people underestimating him if they do find out he's an omega), so if someone jumped to that, he wasn't going to bother to correct them. After returning, Sasuke tends to keep his scent some degree of repressed, a very mild scent that can easily fade into the background, keeping it as unreadable as his face.

*Naruto would fuss at him for keeping it completely suppressed out of habit, pestering him to "loosen the death grip a lil' "

Sasuke on the lead up to his heat becomes a dark looming shadow around Naruto. Where typically he makes himself unnoticed, he becomes a nerve-wracking presence, low barely heard growls or a flash of fang and eyes at anyone who gets too friendly with Naruto.

Naruto on his lead up, tends to seek out touch and reassurance from Sasuke. It can be an arm or leg pressed against Sasuke, a pinky resting over another, basically glued to Sasuke when he can be. He bristles like a cat at anybody too interested in Sasuke. Sasuke will scare off anyone being particularly dense if Naruto seems close to biting and scratching.

🌶Spice Below

While in heat, Sasuke will have Naruto constantly pinned in their nest, biting and scratching to leave his mark, snarling that Naruto is his, yanking Naruto's head back to give him access to the vulnerable stretch of his neck, re-biting over his mating mark as he rides Naruto into knotting him.

Naruto becoming pliant and needy, letting loose croons, purrs, and whines for his mate. Arching up into Sasuke's teeth and touch, constantly petting him all over, begging Sasuke if he can knot, craving that sense of togetherness, wanting to please his mate, to be good.

For all his roughness and taunting, Sasuke can't really deny Naruto. Purring what a good little alpha Naruto is, licking over bites to soothe, letting Naruto cling as he works to drown Naruto is his scent while Naruto preens like a damn peacock.

Sasuke fucking Naruto on the lead up and sometimes during cause while Kurama will heal any marks from scratches or bites, he can mark his mate inside like this.

Naruto is addicted to tasting Sasuke out of rut and becomes even worse during, seemingly wanting to eat Sasuke alive. Sasuke likes to make a game of keeping Naruto's mouth away and seeing how long until he breaks between rounds.

Sasuke does like to tease and rile Naruto up until he's chomping at the bit to mount and fuck Sasuke stupid. To fight Naruto until he is pinned and taken. But the trust Naruto puts in Sasuke, to let Sasuke lead, to let go, to show his belly or throat without hesitation, is a heady thing.

On the comedown, Naruto will just rain praise and affection down on Sasuke while cuddling him. Being an absolute sap and inevitably softening Sasuke in turn. Sasuke will show his appreciation a bit quieter, having used up his words from his heat. Running a hand over Naruto, savoring the marks on him before they finish healing. Forcing them to bathe, eat, and go to their bed (though sometimes Naruto convinces Sasuke to leave the dirty sheets or pillows in nest for tomorrow, the lazy idiot). Naruto will burrow into his neck and be an absolute limpet, Sasuke wrapping an arm in return and softly purring in response to Naruto's rumble before drifting off

[yushi-ni]

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ mornings at the dorms 🌷🌷 ᯓᡣ𐭩

a typical morning at the wishies dorms with sion as your sleepy bf. !! not proofread !! just fluff, taking care of your bf and his members on their day off. ᯓ★ established relationship, mentioning of 'noona' once or twice. this is just for fun, for entertainment purposes only, so don't take it too seriously!! 💌🌷✨ HOPE YOU ENJOY!!

꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ ⊹₊⟡⋆ masterlist 🌷🫧🩵

──୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ──

ʚɞ you and sion have been dating for a while now. as time went by, you had gotten a lot closer with his members as well. being the same age as sion, the others were a bit younger than you. naturally feeling the sisterly instinct to take care of the younger ones, you often find yourself making food, getting them their favorite snacks whenever you visit their dorms, help them out with their house chores, making sure they take good care of their health by giving them vitamins etc etc. you didn't mind, not at all, you cared for the younger ones health just as much as you did for your boyfriend. sion loves the way you treat his members. being the leader and oldest of his group, he naturally takes on the dad role of the team and as you came in the picture; you made the perfect fit as the 'mom' of the group. sion was thankful for all the things you did for him and his team, coming over to their dorms with food to make sure they all eat well after a long day of practicing, dropping off drinks to take along whenever a day full of schedules followed the next day, showing interest in the things each member liked. whether you liked it or not, you always made sure each individual member felt comfortable around you. reminding sion over and over again why he fell in love with you to begin with.

yesterday was a day like many others. your boyfriend and his team had a long day at work, preparing hard for their upcoming japan tour. as the boys all walked in one after the other they quickly freshened themselves up to go to bed as soon as possible. calling it a day soon enough as each one of them was tired and in need of rest. your boyfriend, half asleep and ready to finally close his eyes, sent you a quick goodnight text. telling you he loves you and will update you tomorrow, since he was too tired to give you a small report on his day.

as the next morning arrives, you got up early and well to step out of the house. it's your boyfriends first day off after a couple weeks of overseas schedules and long practice days. before heading to his dorm, you stop by the store to get some things. you make sure to grab some coffee along the way as well sincr you know your boyfriend will definitely need one to start his day. upon arriving you notice the quiet silence that fills up the guys' apartment. the whole dorm still sound asleep, you smile to yourself, glad the boys got some well deserved rest. after all this time, you know your ways around their place. feeling comfortable in their home, you have no issue being the only one awake. setting down the bag of small groceries you did, you put the drinks in the fridge to keep them cold. fidgeting around in their kitchen you start to set up the things you need to make breakfast for you and the others. completely lost in your own thoughts you mindlessly prepare the food, not noticing the youngest boy walking in to the kitchen. only as the youngster stood right infront of you, you acknowledge his presence. "ohhh goodmorning saku. did you sleep well?!!" you said with a grin as you saw the sleepy state he was in. not much coming from him he just silently joined you as you continued on with the rest of the food. as time passed by, more members woke up one by one. the smell of freshly baked french toast started filling up the air as well as yummy pancakes. greeting you as soon as they stepped in the kitchen, each member thanked you for the breakfast you made. the chairs at the table were taken as the boys sat down, ready to eat!! all.. expect for one. "noona, i think sion-hyung needs a human alarm clock to be awakened from his sleep" riku laughs as he takes his first bite.

as the room filled up with the guys slowly getting more energized and awake, the sound of laughter and chatting soon becomes louder and louder. as you smile upon the view infront of you, you decide to make your way to your boyfriends room. the room was quiet with only the little bit of sunshine peeking through the blinds. enough to see the sleeping figure on the bed. as you silently laughed, you walk inside the room. not wanting to wake him up just yet, you open the blinds to let the morning sunshine in completely. as you look over to your bf, who did not move one inch even though the bright lights filled up the whole room now, you cannot help but smile. sitting on the side of his bed you are contemplating whether to wake him up or let him sleep a bit longer. as you reached out to brush away some of the hair that covers his face, you feel your bf leaning in to your touch. "morning.." he says with his eyes closed, voice still hoarse. "goodmorning, i didn't want to wake you up but i made breakfast for you guys" you lean down to give your sleepy bf a quick kiss. as you come back up, you feel two arms holding you in place. "mmh just 5 more minutes please.." you giggled, "ok you can stay in bed 5 more minutes, but make sure to come out soon enough before the others eat all the food!" you said while holding back your laughter to the view of your bf fighting to bright light. "noooo, with you. 5 more minutes with you.." not planning on letting you go just yet, sion pulls you even closer as he pulls you to lay down next to him. not being able to refuse his cute whiny request, you laid down and brushed your hands over his face once more.

"mmh i don't think i am hungry" sion says as he pulls you impossibly closer. "yes you are!!! i made so much yummy food, you have to try!!" you said, playfully offended by your boyfriends statement. "i think yushi will have finished all the food before i can even get to the table" sion groans as he feels you sitting up straight. "cmon!!! get up, you have to eat!!!" you pushed your boyfriends arms away as you laughed at his state. no attempts were made as sion just laughed and rolled onto his back. "no i was joking, they will leave some for me" he pulled his blanket all the way up to his neck before you snatched it off again. giggling to yourself as your boyfriends eyes shut open by the sudden action, you took both his hands and tried pulling him up from his laying position. "nooo baby please, you said 5 more minutes!!" trying to pull you back down by using his weight in his advantage, you stand your ground and yank his arms once more. "cmon sionnn i promise you can stay in bed all day afterwards!!!" you laughed at your bf as he groans by the thought of getting up. "if you get up now, we can watch that one movie you wanted to see later!" there was no need to repeat your words again since your bf almost jumped up immediately after you said that. eating breakfast now to rush back to bed again afterwards to stay in and watch movies with you?? suddenly the man was hungry and could not wait to try out the food you made for him.

laughing at your boyfriends sudden rushed awakening, you get pulled off the bed as well. "pinky promise, no games or play time with the others first" sion says as he stretches his arms before pulling you close in a hug again, leaning down to rest his head on top of yours. "just movies with the two of us?? mmh i will have to consider the pros and cons" you jokingly said laughing at the way you feel your bf squeeze you a little tighter. "promise, otherwise i am not moving" sion says. "ok ok ok i promise. but first breakfast!!! i even got you coffee!!" you replied to which your bf almost immediately let go of you and walked to the door; "hurry baby, i have places to be" he said as he walked through the door. laughing at your bf, you followed him back to the kitchen. once again being welcomed by a full table, this time all seats taken as your bf took his spot on the head of the table.

walking to the fridge to take out the coffee you got for your bf, you make your way to the table and finally sit down as well. sion, thanking you for the coffee, put his hand on your thigh to give it a quick squeeze as he starts eating. looking around at the left overs the younger members left for you to eat, you smile by the thought of them eating well and enjoying your food. taking your first bite yourself, ryo, why was sitting next to you, started excitedly talking about the things he had done the day before. listening to the younger one, you finish eating and put your chopsticks down, satisfied with your full belly and so immersed in your conversation with ryo, you didn't notice the others started cleaning up already. "ohhh you guys, i will clean up. you can go wash you and do your things!!" you said as the youngsters were chaotically trying to clean up their dishes.

as you were putting away the washed dishes, you felt a pair of arms sneaking around your waist. sion rested his head in the crook of your neck, you smiled at your boyfriends actions. "sionnnn i cannot clean like this" you giggled as your bf only snuggled his face even further into your neck. "mmmh it's clean y/n, very clean, has never looked better" he said as he kisses the exposed skin on your neck. laughing at the clingy boy, you put down the last few things and turn around to face your boyfriend. taking a moment to look at his pretty face, you put your arms around his neck, smiling up to your bf. sion, returning the same look on his own face, leans down as he kisses you. one.. two.. three pecks before he pulls back to lean his forehead against yours. "thank you for making us breakfast y/n, you really are the best" he says before locking your lips in another sweet kiss. a bit longer this time, fully taking in the sweet taste of your lips on his. moving your hands from behind his neck to cup his face, you smile into the kiss. feeling your boyfriends hands find their way to either side of your hips, you pull back. sion, following your lips with his, opens his eyes to look at you. once again, wondering what he did to deserve such amazing girlfriend like you.

putting your hands on his shoulders and giving him a little tap, you say; "so!!! ryo said he wanted to show me his new plushies!!! i have places to be!!" you giggled as you quickly escape your boyfriends hold and run out of the kitchen. sion who was frozen on the spot, left in disbelief for a little second, rushed out of the kitchen, running after you as you were laughing when he caught up to you and pulled you in his grip again. "nice try, you are mine the rest of the day!!!" he laughed as he walked you to his room again. "noona. do you want to play on my switch together?" sakuya asked as he walked out of his room looking for you. "your noona is already booked for today, saku, go ask ryo to play" sion said laughing as he opened the door to his bedroom, still holding you as he follows behind you. "i will play with you later saku, ok!!" you yell as your boyfriend was quick to let out a; "no she won't!!!" before he fully closes the door. leaving the maknae standing in the opening of his own bedroom looking over to yushi and riku who were already settled and cozy on the couch, watching the whole scene unfold. "i don't think noona will play with you today" yushi says as the youngest looks at him with visible question marks on his face to which riku laughingly adds; "you will understand when you get your own girlfriend"

[lesbehonestsstuff]

Catholic guilt - part 6

Casey Novak has always been the good catholic girl. Always perfect, always trying to meet high expectations. But she doesn't understand why she feels no interested in the boys who flirted with her, why her eyes instead linger on other girls.

Word count: 2371

Chapter 6/7

I was rushing with deadlines but I finally got time to write so here you go

The day had gone by and Casey had barely moved. She lay there barely able to breathe. The motion felt too hard, the pressure hurting her ribs. She was staring up at the ceiling, the tears that were falling catching on the soft brown fur of the bear. The room felt smaller, suffocating, the walls closing in on her. Her father’s words echoed in her head, “I’ll make you normal if it kills me.”

She wasnt broken, she wasnt something he could fix. Her entire life she had been living under their pressure and she couldn’t do it anymore. She couldn’t let them send her away. She couldn’t lose Alex.

The thought of being torn from the only person who truly loved all of her, who understood her—it send another rush of tears down her face. She couldn’t stay, her father would make sure she was gone by tomorrow. They would force her into that camp, try to erase everything she was, make her forget the love she had for Alex.

She couldn’t let that happen.

Her heart pounded in her chest as she sat up, wiping the tears from her eyes. She knew what she had to do. She couldn’t stay here, not with them. Not after she knew what they’d do.

Quietly, Casey got up and grabbed her backpack from the floor. She moved quickly, her hands shaking as she stuffed it with the most important things she could find—some clothes, her favorite sweater, the one she had stolen from Alex months ago, her favorite book filled with images and a photo from the Photo Booth she and Alex had taken, all of it hiding in its pages.

She opened the door to her room and heard them downstairs, dishes clinging and her fathers voice rough and loud as it always was. She took the chance to run to their room, to the box of documents her mother kept under their bed and quickly grabbed what was hers. Everything else she left behind. There wasn’t time. She needed to get out.

Wiping her the rest of her tears with the back of her hand, Casey shoved everything in her bag and crossed the room to the window. She stopped for a second looking back at all the memories, all the things she was leaving behind. It made her ache to know that her life would never be the same, that her parents were so hateful they had pushed her to this point. If she stayed she would be gone, so she would go before they could take her.

Grabbing the bear Alex had won for her and stuffing it at the top of her backpack she went to her window. The latch clicked softly as she unlocked it, the cool night air rushing in as she pushed the glass up. She hesitated for a moment when she heard footsteps coming up the stairs, glancing back toward the door. If he heard her, if he caught her leaving, she didn’t know what he’d do. But she wasn’t waiting around to find out.

With a deep breath, Casey climbed out onto the roof, it had gotten dark and she used it to her advantage, her movements quick and careful. She’d done this a dozen times before to sneak out, but tonight it felt different. Tonight she wasn’t sneaking away, she was escaping.

The gravel crunched under her feet as she dropped down onto the driveway below. Without looking back, she ran. The wind whipped through her hair, and the cool night air stung her cheeks, but she didn’t slow down. Her heart pounded in her chest, her pulse racing as she made her way to Alex’s house, each step fueled by desperation and fear.

By the time she reached Alex’s house, her lungs were burning, and her legs felt like lead. She scrambled around to the side, her breath coming in ragged gasps. She could see Alex inside asleep on the couch, the tv illuminating her features. She tapped on the window trying to get her attention.

She could see Alex slowly wake up, looking around confused until their eyes locked together Alex’s came closer rushing to the window, her brows furrowed in confusion at first, but the second she saw Casey’s tear-streaked face, the confusion melted into concern.

Alex pushed the window open, leaning out. “Casey?” Her voice was soft, but Casey could hear the worry. “What’s wrong?”

“Let me in,” Casey choked out, her voice shaking, desperate with sobs that wanted to crawl out her throat. “Please.”

Without hesitation, Alex disappeared for a second, and Casey heard the sound of her unlocking the back door. She rushed to meet her, and as soon as Alex opened the door, Casey crashed into her arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

Alex’s arms tightened around her immediately, holding her close. “Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Alex murmured, her voice gentle, though panic was creeping into her tone. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you, Case. What happened?”

Casey couldn’t speak. She just clung to Alex, her fingers digging into her shirt as if letting go would make everything worse. Her body shook with sobs, her face buried against Alex’s neck.

Alex guided her inside, shutting the door softly behind them and leading Casey upstairs to her bed. They sat down, and Alex kept her arms around Casey, rubbing slow circles on her back. “You’re safe here. It’s okay.”

Alex felt helpless, she held tightly to Casey, waiting as sob after sob came out of her. She had never seen her so distressed and not knowing what had caused it had her so worried she felt like she was going mad. Casey was barely breathing between her cries, the desperation in them making Alex’s eye glaze over.

It took what felt like forever, but eventually, Casey’s sobs subsided enough for her to speak. Her words came out in ragged gasps, choked and broken, as she tried to explain what had happened. “My dad…he knows…they both do. He—he called me a pervert. He said—he said I was disgusting. That I’m.. that I’m—”

Alex’s felt her breath knocked out of her at the words, her grip tightening protectively around Casey. She pulled back just enough to look at her, brushing the hair out of her face, her blue eyes full of worry and love. “Casey… they’re wrong,” she whispered, her voice filled with so much conviction that Casey almost believed it. “They’re wrong. You’re not. You’re perfect, just as you are.”

Casey just shook her head, a hollow look in her eyes. She hugged her arms tightly around herself, a faint wince escaping her lips as her hand brushed against a tender spot on her arm.

Alex’s brows furrowed, and her gaze dropped to Casey’s arm. She reached out, gently lifting Casey’s sleeve to reveal a darkening bruise wrapping around her arm, the clear mark of a handprint. Her breath caught, her eyes wide with shock. “Casey… who did this to you?”

Casey swallowed hard, her gaze shifting away. “My dad,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

Alex’s hands were gentle, but her voice was filled with barely controlled anger. “Is… is there more?”

Without a word, Casey lifted her shirt slightly, showing Alex the darkening bruise that was starting to form on her ribs. Alex’s face went pale, her jaw tightening as she took it in, her hands shaking as she looked at Casey, barely holding back her tears. She didn’t say anything for a moment, just stared at the bruises, her mind racing. Finally, she took a shaky breath and gently lowered Casey’s shirt.

“Stay right here,” she whispered, her voice tight. She left the room briefly, returning with a small ice pack. She knelt beside Casey, her fingers gentle as she traced them on Caseys side, her touch so careful it made Casey’s chest ache. “This will help a little,” Alex murmured, pressing the ice pack to Casey’s ribs, her hand lingering to hold it in place.

Casey winced at the cold but Alex kept the pack still, she then pulled out a small camera her expression sad, a camera Alex had that Casey knew was filled with their happy moments. “Case, I’m going to take pictures of these, okay?” Her voice was steady, but her eyes were filled with a fury Casey had never seen. “Just in case. In case we ever… in case you need to show someone.”

Casey nodded numbly, letting Alex take the photos. She hated the idea, hated that this moment was now something to remember. Hated that it was now going to be tainted. But as she watched Alex, the determination in her girlfriend’s eyes made her feel safer. She knew Alex would protect her. She trusted her.

With the bruises documented, Alex sat back down beside Casey, her hand resting on her knee. “What happened after that?” she asked softly, her voice gentle but urgent.

Casey shook her head another sniffling “My dad… he… he said they’re sending me to a camp. Tomorrow. He’s taking me tomorrow morning, Lexie—”

Alex’s arms brought her back in, pulling her as close as she could. She felt nauseous at the thought. She had heard, had been threatened by her parents at some point, but the thought of Caseys parents actually following through and sending their daughter to one of those places made Alex feel like she was going to be sick. “No, they can’t… they can’t do that. Casey, we won’t let them. We won’t let them take you.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Casey cried, her voice breaking. “I can’t go back home. I can’t. But if I stay, they’ll find me—”

“We’re not staying,” Alex said firmly, her voice strong despite the fear in her eyes. The decision quickly made. “We’re leaving. Tonight. You and me.”

Casey pulled back, her eyes wide with fear. “No, you can’t… you can’t just leave because of me. I don’t want you to throw everything away.”

“I’m not throwing anything away,” Alex said, her voice soft. She cupped Casey’s face gently, wiping away her tears with her thumbs. “I don’t care about any of it if I don’t have you. I’m not letting them take you away.”

“But… your parents—”

“They don’t care about me,” Alex said quickly, pain glazing over that was gone as fast as it came. “They stopped caring years ago. But there’s someone who does. My uncle, Bill. He’s like us, Casey. He understands what we’re feeling. He lives upstate, in New York. He’ll take us in. We can be safe there.”

Casey’s breath caught in her throat. She didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to process any of it. Everything was too much. They had been happy the day before, everything had been perfect and now it was all falling apart.

She knew Alex meant it. They were going to run away—leave everything behind, leave the people that hurt them, the awful town they had never felt welcome in. They didn’t have a choice. If they stayed, Casey’s parents would destroy them.

Alex was right. They couldn’t, they had to go.

“Okay,” Casey whispered, her voice shaky. “Okay, let’s go.”

Alex gave her a kiss, a soft kiss that sent a wave of warmth through Casey. They rested their foreheads together as the last of Casey’s tears fell. “Okay” Alex whispered giving her another peck and pulling away.

Alex packed in silence, the weight of what they were doing sinking in with every item she shoved into her bag. Casey had taken only what she needed—the things she couldn’t live without—and left everything else behind. It didn’t matter anymore. She sat there, the ice offering her some relief as she wondered how she had managed to find herself so lucky to have someone like Alex by her side.

When Alex was done she grabbed Casey’s hand giving it a soft squeeze. “You ready?”

Casey squeezed her back with a small nod “Yeah. Im ready”

They went down the stairs, Alex turning all the lights off and grabbing her keys as they walked outside. She locked the house, giving it one last look as they headed out into the night.

The bus station was quiet at this hour, the sky just beginning to lighten with the first hints of dawn. Alex bought two tickets, one-way, to upstate New York. Casey stood beside her, still feeling the last waves of shock pass through her, trying to wrap her mind around what they were doing.

They were really leaving. Running away together. It would’ve been romantic had the situation not been so dire.

As they boarded the bus, Alex took Casey’s hand, not leting her go as they made their way to the back, finding seats by the window. The bus was nearly empty, just a few other passengers scattered throughout. It was perfect—no one would notice them. No one would care.

Casey leaned her head on Alex’s shoulder, her body exhausted from the everything that had happened. The adrenaline had worn off, leaving her feeling drained, her emotions overwhelming. But there was one thing she knew for certain—Alex was with her. Alex was always with her.

“I’m sorry,” Casey whispered, her voice chocked up and soft.

“For what?” Alex asked, her fingers gently brushing through Casey’s hair.

“For making you leave. For… everything.”

Alex leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to Casey’s forehead. “You didn’t make me do anything. I chose this because I love you, Casey. I don’t care where we are, as long as we’re together.”

Casey felt tears prick at her eyes again, but this time they weren’t tears of fear. She shifted, pressing a soft kiss to Alex’s shoulder, her heart swelling with gratitude and love. She didn’t deserve this. Didn’t deserve Alex’s kindness, her love. But Alex was here, holding her, refusing to let her go.

They were running, yes. But they were running together.

As the bus rumbled to life, the city disappearing behind them, Casey let her eyes drift shut, exhaustion pulling her under. She felt safe here, next to Alex, wrapped in her warmth. For the first time in what felt like forever, she wasn’t afraid, she didn’t feel guilty anymore.

[persefida]

I genuinely don't know where all my life energy comes from. People don't live like that I'm pretty sure.

I make things every minute, every second of my life. I work hard, and when I'm tired I'm doing some other interesting things and relax hard. My job, my many hobbies, my every day walkings and my chores. I can't just sit and watch some tv series, I need to do something at the same time. Haha that's why I looove Hamilton musical, I find it relatable. No time to waste, spend your life as good, productive and sorrow-less as possible. I'm living like if I was hit by a car tomorrow, I wouldn't regret any of my decisions, because I tried to find a balance between my aspirations and reality.

I have a burning energy that makes me do things on weekends. Learning new skills after working days. There's no time to try these new games or watching youtube. Going for a walk? Then listen a podcast about science. Experience new things? Remember them for future inspiration and understand the world more and better.

I was asked to do some additional job tasks on free time (being paid of course). And even after doing them I still have a willing to do things. My last vacation was 7 months ago btw.

And I want to quit my job. My perfect 9-5 job, being an artist with a good salary and being able to work from home. Yes, I want to quit it and continue my own art business that I started before it. Because I want to have more time to learn more and do many other things. I have energy to work hard so this business would succeed. And when I'll get bored of that I will think about other things and proceed to succeed them too.

My mind goes really fast and I need to drink coffee so my body would keep up. Don't wish me to rest well, I take care of my mind and body because it's in my best interest for a long-run.

I don't know.

I think I'm burning bright and one day this unknown power source will end. I genuinely don't know how on earth I'm not combusted right at this place.

Here's the part of a Hamilton musical song that always gives me determination.

(The sketch about times when I was learning and practicing to do a hand stand. Just for fun.)

[magixfairyix]

Trix Week Day 2 (Studying at Cloud Tower)

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@trixweek @bellatrixobsessed1

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Mild tw: Vomiting to get poison out

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Icy was hardly the academic most of her peers at Cloud Tower thought she was. That was Darcy’s role. Hell, even Stormy has more motivation for assignments if it aligns with her interest in magic theory and bending the laws of it. 

She was passing classes with flying colors because, one, she learned a lot of this information on her own accord way more in depth than the faculty could ever hope to teach, and two she knew more than any of them. Therefore, studying was a fool's game when she already knew what she had to learn.

Icy was walking through the west hallways of Cloud Tower—miraculously not with her sisters, and if Icy remembered correctly, Darcy was staying behind in class for a brief moment while Stormy was elsewhere—to get back to the dorm. There was a test tomorrow, but that wasn’t her priority.

Her priority was both sleep, and—

Icy paused as she turned around a corner, seeing familiar brown hair barely out of the entrance to the washrooms of this tower. She’d recognize that hair anywhere.

She walked around to see that the washroom door was open, and that Darcy was standing in the entrance—Stormy was also sitting on the sinks, her eyes looking at two people in one of the stall’s in concern.

“What even is this?” Icy questioned, leaning back against the wall next to Darcy.

“I walked in here with Stormy after I got away from Zarathustra, and then Mirta and Lucy rushed in,” Darcy said, shrugging, but from her expression Icy could tell she was both mildly worried and evidently pissed off. “A potion incident or something.”

Icy heard the sounds of Mirta comforting Lucy, and the latter very clearly retching in one of the stalls. They hadn’t even bothered to fully close the door, but then again, the only people in the place besides the two of them were Icy and her sisters.

“From her own idiotic mistakes?” Icy asked, raising a brow.

If Lucy was because of this because she made a stupid mistake, then Icy had no sympathy. It was Cloud Tower for crying out loud. You either knew what you were doing, or you didn’t. If you didn’t know what you were doing magic-wise or presence-wise, then you’d be eaten alive.

Darcy gave her a half glare, which made Icy think there was slightly more to this. If Lucy had just been an idiot, then her sisters would be sharing her amusement.

“Some—” Mirta answered from inside the stall—although Icy couldn’t see either her, or Lucy from her view—with her voice unusually angry and venom-filled. “Some bitch snuck some sort of magic-eradicating potion in her water!”

“It—” Lucy started weakly, but trying to keep her voice steady, as she seemingly retched again. “They knew we had a test next week.”

“And so…” Stormy started, clearly bored with this explanation, one of her legs pulled up into the sinks. “Lucy’s trying to get it out of her system.”

Icy felt her eyes narrow into a slight glare. Not towards Stormy, or Lucy, but at the thought of someone being so cowardly and fragile that they’d be willing to spell someone into flunking a test. Whoever did so should’ve actually tried to work on improving their likely shitty excuse for magic skills instead of sabotaging the competition.

“And this witch’s name would be?” Icy questioned bluntly.

“W-what?” Lucy asked, clearly confused.

“A name, Lucy,” Icy repeated.

Would she normally go as far as to wonder who was behind this? No. Lucy was hardly adept in magic and Icy wouldn’t normally bother with her or Mirta for that matter, but Lucy—unlike a large percentage of the witches at Cloud Tower—wasn’t a coward who would stab someone in the back instead of looking them right in the face.

Icy hated admitting this, but even Mirta the wannabe was less cowardly than some of the students.

“Shirly, I think…” Mirta said, and at Lucy’s nod, she stood up and walked halfway out of the stall. “Yeah, it was Shirly. But why—”

Stormy had already swung herself off the sinks’ counter before Mirta had finished, and she glanced at Icy and Darcy with something of a smirk. Icy saw the glint in her eyes, and she mirrored her sister’s expression.

“No no no, you don’t worry about it,” Stormy said to Mirta with a smile, but Icy could see how the freshmen witch was clearly a bit concerned. “She’ll be taken care of, yada yada, revenge and all.”

Mirta looked between Lucy and Stormy, then at Icy, and then at Darcy. “Please don’t do anything too… well, too serious.”

Icy buried a snort at Mirta’s assumption that Darcy would be the rational one in this case. Normally, she was. Stormy was known to be a bit more hot headed than the other two, and Icy was assumed to be the most cold and merciless in most instances. 

Though when sneakiness leads to actual harm to magic or becomes simply underhandedness, Icy knows Darcy finds it an insult of sorts. An insult to witches, and an insult to those who are adept in the art of deception and such; sneaking a potion was pathetic when it was over something as childish as a test.

“No promises,” Darcy answered, giving Mirta a look that made it clear there’d be no negotiations.

Darcy turned and walked out of the washrooms, Icy and Stormy following after the latter gave a pair of thumbs up to Mirta and Lucy. Icy could practically feel Stormy’s buzzing energy behind her, and she felt herself smirk slightly to herself.

Shirly…

Yes, Icy knew her.

[sirensofthefiveseas]

“Hm, try one of those little tree looking ones with some of the rice.” Makino knew better than to actually say the name of the vegetable, otherwise Luffy would claim he was allergic to that. After she explained allergies to him he tried to use the excuse all the time granted they had figured the boy had some. Not to many, and not to every vegetable of course. “You can also soak some of the veggies in the gravy to make them taste better.”

As they ate Makino hummed softly, making plans for later in the day and tomorrow. The boy would need to be distracted. She didn’t know when Shanks would be back so it was important to give me other things to think about. “Oh there is a market coming in tomorrow. We’ll go there and see if they have any interesting fruits for you to try next.” She offered, knowing that shopping was boring but the market would also be new people the boy never met.

“They may even have some new sweets or meats for you.”

Luffy watched her confused when she moved to him with a cloth in her hand, he could easily see it was wet and automatically tried to move away as she brought it up to his face. But, feeling the cool on his eyes, he slumped lightly in relief as she wiped away the itchiness that was really annoying him.

He followed after her, wiping away the left over water with his sleeve, her blanket still clutched in his hand as he climbed up on the chair tiredly. He automatically scrunched his nose up at the thought of eating anything else healthy today, but knew that the argument was useless with Maki when it came to healthy food; he nodded in acceptance and picked up his chopsticks because he knew Maki would be upset if he ate with his hands. "Which mix would be the best Maki?" he questioned lightly, she mixed the strawberries and chocolate together which was nice so maybe she knew what other food would be good together to hide the yucky taste of vegetables.

[soul-dwelling]

Do you think that if you had more free time you would engadge in the fandom in a more active/creative way or are you at a point were just looking at fanart and retweeting it is enough for you?

Short version: Depression, lack of safe and paying work options, and just a shitty two years--no, three years--no, six years--has just been demoralizing. 

It's not a lack of time, exactly. (Although, that is part of this: I should be working on finding more work, on taking material I have written and getting it published, on planning my future. Then I feel guilty doing anything else for "fun.")

I’d like to get back to making GIFs, screen caps, and avatars and icons--although I’m hard-pressed to do any more of what has already been done. 

I’d like to get back to the RP sideblog--but it’s hard to get into a character’s mindset publicly. 

I’d like to write fanfics again--but I don’t think I have the patience and wherewithal to see a story to a conclusion, at least not one I’m ready to tell, when I am scared about what I should be doing with my time. 

That’s the thing: I have time, just not feeling like I get to use that time for that endeavor, when I’m sitting here trying to figure out how the fuck I’m going to pay bills and find safe work that actually pays. 

(Like I said at the top, the last six years of work constituted a miserable experience, and I’m struggling to pay bills. Someone, hire me, I need remote work options that are safe and pay well.)

I miss tagging my reblogs. I miss being more engaged. I miss making silly PhotoShop edits. I want to feel like right now I am contributing--but I just feel fucking sad.

Fuck the last six years--not because of fandom stuff, but because of just shitty circumstances in my real life.