#it's even more depressing that way lol

[evilkitten3]

@e---l hey! sorry, i only just noticed your comments lol

i'm gonna start with the last bit, bc one of the things i enjoy the most about naruto is people getting things wrong and/or straight-up lying about shit (itachi is really good at both of those lol).

the two main sources we have for madara's past are obito and hashirama, both of whom ofc have their own biases, but obito's story is a lot less reliable imo for a few reasons. first of all, he wasn't there; he just heard about it from the real madara. second of all, many of his claims are later revealed to be untrue - madara didn't want to keep fighting the senju, madara didn't kill izuna, hashirama stabbed madara in the back and not the front, etc. whether these inconsistencies are because madara lied to obito, because obito was twisting the truth to make it more convenient for his purposes, or simply bc kishimoto changed his mind, we never actually hear madara's side of things, so it's hard to say what his take on the matter was. what is clear is that at some point people began to believe that madara stole izuna's eyes for power (although the two main sources for that claim are obito, who isn't trustworthy, and itachi, who is both even less trustworthy and also possibly getting this info from obito in the first place)

also, and this is something that i think gets skipped over a lot, we actually have no clue what izuna's dying words might've been. what we know is the last thing hashirama heard him say, but it seems unlikely that those were his true last words. he was still alive when they left the battlefield, and hashirama has no way of knowing what happened between that moment and the next time he saw madara. we the readers are never told if izuna died from the damage the wound caused, from an infection later on, or from something else that hashirama never knew about. he wasn't there. he has no clue. and he doesn't try to pretend otherwise. so all we - and hashirama - know is that the next time hashirama and madara fought, madara had izuna's eyes in his face and izuna's wasn't there anymore.

of course, once you factor in black zetsu, there was no way for izuna to survive no matter what happened, and losing him was always going to be emotionally devastating for madara. if there was no black zetsu and the war had still happened for whatever reason, it's unlikely that madara would come up with the idea to just put everyone in a coma forever on his own, but i do still think he'd end up leaving the village, and if he fell into despair badly enough, he might still attack it just to get hashirama to kill him (or. to save him? idk man sometimes even madara doesn't seem to fully know what he wants. he tells himself he does, but. he's also crazy)

the last thing i want to say is that, while i absolutely understand both tobirama's fear of the uchiha and specifically madara, i don't think madara did all that much to feed into it. from the looks of things, madara mostly just tried not to spend any time with him (which. is entirely valid given everything). we only really see them interact once after konoha is established (pre fourth war ofc) and it's just. glaring a bit at each other. most of the antagonism between them seems to be coming from tobirama's end - he's the one who tries to persuade hashirama against his desire for madara to lead the village (which might've actually been the only thing that could've kept him from leaving, even if it probably wasn't something he wanted), whereas madara just notes that tobirama is probably going to succeed hashirama as hokage (which he did) and that that would likely lead to the uchiha clan's erasure (which it did, although i'd hesitate to say that that was part of any master plan on tobirama's part tbh). if anything, madara's fault in their downward spiral is his lack of action in trying to bridge that gap and show his guts, so to speak. which, again, i kinda get. hard to make nice with the guy who (presumably) killed your little brother.

all that aside, my personal take on madara's fall to villainy is that the main catalyst was never izuna or hashirama or even the clan, but madara's own "hope". as a child, we see him awaken his sharingan (presumably for the first time, judging by izuna and tajima's reactions) when parting ways with hashirama, and even which also to madara rendered the dream they'd shared unattainable. his motivation was to protect his younger brothers, and so losing the last one destroyed that "hope" as well. on top of that, it was his duty to protect and lead his family, and they lost faith in him and didn't listen when he tried to warn them that the clan was in danger if things didn't change. so he also lost "hope" for his clan. moreover, seeing his childhood dream, even without izuna, being achieved and then realizing that their boyhood ideals weren't enough to truly create peace, and so he lost "hope" for the world. so long as black zetsu could destroy madara's "hope" (that's starting not to feel like a real word anymore.....), he was always going to become what he became.

and black zetsu is nothing if not good at slowly and steadily getting what it wants.

one pet peeve of mine in founders-era fanfics is when madara's whole,,,, everything is solved by izuna just being there

like maybe this is just me, but i don't think izuna surviving or even coming around to the idea of a truce with the senju would've been enough to keep madara from the path he ended up on.

izuna wasn't the reason he left - he was definitely part of madara's issues, but he wasn't the why. even if izuna had stuck around, and even if that had been enough to keep the uchiha clan from losing their faith in madara, i think he would've still come to realize konoha wasn't what he'd hoped it would be.

best case scenario, i think izuna's survival might've caused madara to stick around a bit longer, but i don't think it would've lasted. honestly, even then, that might've just made the inevitable break-up between madara and hashirama even more agonizing (particularly for izuna)

it's a fun idea to play around with for sure, but frankly i don't think canon!madara could've ever been 'saved' from that path. certainly not if the hidden village system ended up getting set up in the same way.

[girlivealwaysbean]

it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come

[wttcsms]

i absolutely love this plot bc there's something so fun and intimate abt having the worst aspects of yourself known by only one person + then that same person has the nerve to still stick around, has the nerve to be the only person who has stuck around & in essence, that's what you and kaiser are to each other.

[curiosity-killed]

i love my sister and for the most part, we are very close and genuinely like each other a lot but the one place where i'd just really, really, really like to see inside her brain is the part where she is still incredibly comfortable and cheerful—and even thinks it's really funny—talking about how much she didn't like me as a child while I'm like. yes. I am and was aware. and it sucked so so so much

[jacksoldsideblog]

truly nothing more depressing than seeing a blog glorifying self harm in the fight club tag in an unironic way and you click through to see its an anorexic 14 year old :/ i wish i could communicate like... it doesn't make you cool or better, it's not an actual way to control things in your life, i am so so sorry you think this is the sexy answer. but also jesus why do you blog about it

[ana-rends]

i would rather live with ana for the rest of my life than binge like this ever again

[lupins-hehim-pussy]

I think I accidentally made Wriothesley AuDHD. fuck

[luxlightly]

People are actively rooting for Betty and Simon to "just move on"?? Why??? Why can't they be happy? Why is the fact they've suffered so long points in FAVOR of them ending up sad and alone for you?

Simon lived for TWELVE YEARS in Ooo after Betty became Golb. He lived his life as best he could. It's not like he did nothing but wallow. He has a self help book on his bedstand. He does open mic nights. He has a life. He isn't unhealthily obsessing. Betty was the love of his life! He's not going to just get over that! Why should he need to? What's so horrible about the fact they loved each other enough to sacrifice everything to save the other that they both deserve to suffer in eternal anguish?

You can't tell me Simon just needs to "move on". That's not how grief works. You can't really think that "everything they sacrificed was for nothing and they realize that the only way to live is up give up on their love and resign themselves to eternal loneliness" is a more satisfying ending to you than "lovers who fight for their love for a thousand years and overcame the end of the world to come back together at last"

"I'm begging the show runners not to have them be together in the end. They need to just move on with their lives, without the other, or its not narratively satisfying"

You are a tar pit

[seaofreverie]

Anyway how is everyone doing

[jyakkopotto-saddo-gaaru]

you ever feel like your parents dont love you

[considerad]

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 you know that post about creating community if that's what you crave?

I made an enormous pile of choc chip cookies and I batched it out for our upstairs and downstairs neighbours, my ma and my great-uncle across town, and my granddad's old pal and his family, and I just got done delivering them and I feel like 🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽

so alight and alive with it all!!!! I love people! I love them!!! I am so full of fruit and phone numbers I probably won't ever call!

Life can be so unbearably sweet ❤️

[szaryherbatnik]

Save me dating sims....save me.....no i dont want to fucking date.......!!!!.... i dont want to go on dates or kiss or shit......i only want dating sims........ this is how im celebrating one week sober btw watch out anime boys on my computer.

[castlescrumblingdvwn]

// rant

it kinda did tho :D

[nappingpaperclip]

idk it rlly gets to me sometimes to be told that I like don’t get it/don’t care about trans youth or whatever whenever I am vocally critical of democrat politicians cause. idk I AM trans youth, I struggle a lot and get treated like shit a lot for it, by politicians and people who should care about me and idk, have y’all ever been kicked out as a teenager and had to call the only adults who support you to come pick you up as a lonely suicidal trans kid? have you ever had to walk home from pride cause you can’t call your parents? ever been outed to your parents against your will and without your knowledge? cause I have and it rlly sucks. having my own experiences and rights used against me, as a token to silence me and others is rlly frustrating and upsetting. It was so lonely being a trans teenager and I spent a lot of time trying to connect with other lgbt+ people but especially younger trans people at my high school (lowerclassmen at the time) when I was a teenager cause I knew how lonely it was growing up with no one to see you for who you are.

People talk down on me for speaking out against politicians who have done nothing to secure my safety or rights, my right to exist because it is “too controversial,” ever since I was a child, and things are somehow even worse now… like I don’t live in the south, like I don’t see the obituaries of murdered trans people on my social media every day, like I don’t see tv ads from local politicians insulting eachother via support for people like me aka “letting men in girls bathrooms” and like I don’t have to see signs around local places bathrooms that say transphobic stuff. like I somehow don’t get it even though *I* don’t feel safe or comfortable no matter which bathroom I’m in, like I don’t have evangelical conservative “”redneck”” family members who would pop a blood vessel in their face if they saw what I look like now, like I don’t get called slurs by strangers or experience crazy micro aggressions in public & at work, like I didn’t have the experiences of being one of the literal handful of openly queer people in my southern public school.

Do you guys even know what it’s like for trans people in the south?? do you know how often trans kids get assaulted in bathrooms at school? it’s so fucking scary to hear from my friends from Florida, to hear them talk about how their friends got assaulted in their high school bathrooms, to hear about the crazy shit their teachers and classmates and politicians said….

idk. y’all don’t know me. You don’t know my story, you don’t know how hard I’ve fought just to be here. I don’t rlly have a point, I just wish people would stop saying stuff like that in my replies. I can take getting screamed at and flipped off irl but this type of stuff is worse and for some reason it rlly gets to me.

I know it’s the internet and ppl are going to be cruel but sometimes it makes me feel very isolated from my community and it drives me crazy because like, damn what about me? Am I not the trans youth too?? am I not included in that, are my opinions thoughts and experiences not important just cause I’m loud abt my opinions in a way u disagree with…??

[daz4i]

thinks "hm i'm craving some home made cake i should make some cake". gets up out of bed. agonizing pain. yet another way in which this wretched body of mine keeps itself from experiencing any joy..

[gibbearish]

btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest