#it's difficult to tune it out

[baronessblixen]

I was so hoping I'd unexpectantly get hit by inspiration, or confidence or *something*, but it hasn't happened. I ignored Fictober as long as I could and now it's here. I know no one cares whether I write or not. But *I* care. So I'm still gonna try. I will be rusty. The fics might be boring. But I will at least try.

Posting this to hold myself accountable.

[odetojupiter]

uhhh so the number four is associated with death in certain cultures, including japanese, which is fitting for the butcher’s son, yes but just remember neil was supposed to be number three and jean was supposed to be number four ,and in every draft but one jean dies. he is symbolically saved from that fate by dodging the number four (being given, instead, the number three which represents REBIRTH of all things - i made a whole post about that if ur curious) because it means he was never marked for death. so in this draft, where he’s number three, but was supposed to be number four, he comes so close to death - to the point where renee doesn’t know how he’s still alive - because he was supposed to die, doomed by the narrative, but that number three saves him. that number three represents resurrection, and so he doesn’t die like he was supposed to. because he’s not number four, he’s number three. he comes back. he transforms, he heals. he becomes number 29 (i will eventually make a post about jean and the 29)

neil, though, was marked for death. he had the number four tattooed on him, and he goes through his own narrative believing he will die by the end of it. his survival, however, is foreshadowed in the very moment neil thinks he’s about to die - when he is kidnapped. lola burns the number four - the signifier of death - off his face, leaving him scarred, yes, but not marked for death anymore. and so he lives. and guess what: the number 10 represents the start of a new chapter, that one cycle is coming to an end and a new life is starting, one that you’ve worked hard for. so for the number four to be burned off of neil, that tells us neil is going to live. and when neil becomes neil legally, he settles into the number 10 properly. and his new life begins.

[salty-an-disco]

Hero would be the kinda guy who sees a stray in the street and simply cannot resist bringing them home.

And Contra, being the chaos and fun-loving gremlin that he is, would be like “sounds good to me!!” and enable any and all animal-gathering behavior.

Then their house is suddenly filled with Too Many Pets, way too many for the both of them to properly take care of, and they’re like, “Oh No. The consequences of our actions. Oh no, I’LL have to be the responsible one about this, aren’t I? Oh noooooooooo.”

it’s a STRUGGLE and against everything they stand for to look Hero in the eye and tell him they should probably send some of these animals to a shelter, where they can find someone that’ll take good care of them, but if something happen to any of these animals because they were too overwhelmed to keep up with all of them Hero will be DESTROYED so they need to go through it.

[grapejuicegay]

Okay, friend

[eeriefeelingsat3amuwu]

Father-daughter duo, the two blond dogs, chasing criminals in the streets of Ankh Morpork. Is there anything better?

I fucking LOVE these books, they get me through a depressive slump once more!!!!

[e-the-village-cryptid]

my arrangement of the andor main theme for flute!

[tsuchinokoroyale]

More like rad-b-gone lol

[pivsketch]

went to the art store last last weekend and of course picked up some new items. tested them out by drawing wrestlers on (incompatible) sketchbook paper. i didnt want to digitally edit any of these but i caved specifically on that topmost mjf because i really didnt like it lmao. included the before/after at least

[flamboyant-king]

Shout-out to the folks that reblog my OC stuff. You guys get a special place in my will.

[nexus-nebulae]

i always really like how i can slowly pick up words as i listen to a language more and more. I'm learning japanese by accident

[lurking-loaf]

You know the song that plays during the carousel level? I’ve been haunted by it for days now. First thing I think of in the morning? “Doomsday Ride.” Packing and shipping customer orders at work? “Doomsday Ride.” Driving the car? “Doomsday Ride.” Drawing? “Doomsday Ride.” Flossing my teeth? “Doomsday Ride.”

Lying in bed at night?

“D o o m s d a y R i d e."

[crazy-form]

imagine being able to dance and actually learn the dance break part of chasing the feeling, couldn't be me

[thickest-slimiest-malware]

ofc ive always had adhd, but personally what really fucked up my attention span is agar.io (and being depressed enough to play it for hours every day. people whose lives are ok dont do that shit)

[binniesoob]

an anti edited the sugar rush ride mr removed version so bad i started laughing 😭 editing their vocals to prove a wrong point to begin with is so messed up 😶

[placesyoucallhome]

🎶Are they comfortable with giving gifts or is it awkward for them? How do they react? (Dym)

Oh he is, terribly, terribly awkward, giving and receiving. He couldn't tell you what sorts of things make for good gifts, nor would he really know what to ask for.

He means well, and he sure as hell would try his goddamned hardest if he decided it was something he really wanted to do, but he'd struggle to decide on what to give even people he knew very well. But at least he's willing to ask around and figure out something he thinks is worth giving. Eventually I think he'd start to catch on and begin to figure out what he'd supposed to do, he's just lacking a lot of social context most people have to lean on.

There's a good chance he'd never be super comfortable receiving gifts, if it isn't wariness that someone he doesn't know well is trying to bribe him into something, it's guilt for taking the time or things of someone he does know or like. He might gain some social grace over time, or become comfortable enough with someone that those feeling fade some for them specifically, but it'll take a while.

[sadlittleratboy]

As someone who works in mental health: Self-care (a word I think people sometimes misunderstand to mean "treating yourself", and while it can occasionally encompass a little treat, it is often more like maintenance, things like: having fun, relaxing, and even chores like dishes or brushing your teeth daily) is literally the only way you can continue to do emotional labor for people. You cannot pour from an empty glass, and it's true that you have to put on your oxygen mask before helping others. If someone is making you feel guilty for taking care of yourself they are not your friend and are in fact miserable people, or straight up lying to you (practicing their self-care in secret). Take breaks, don't involve yourself in every fucking tragedy that's happening in the world, or even involve yourself in none of them if your own life is imploding. The nightmares will still be there when you are ready to tackle them, if you ever get to that point. You are allowed to take care of you. Being self-centered is not always a bad thing. Always putting others first will inevitably make you a bitter person who's unwilling to help anyone with anything. Put yourself first when you need to, and understand that so many Not Good things are happening in the world at the same time it is genuinely unreasonable to think you need to speak on all of them.

And the argument of "you get to shut it out/turn it off and these people don't" is awful, by the way. Just because there is misery in the world does not mean you have to be miserable. Everyone has shit going on that feels like it could be world ending, and while obviously you should be empathetic in understanding that someone might be going through something more disastrous/dangerous than you, but that does not mean you aren't allowed to give yourself peace and happiness. Ultimately, that is what everyone is trying to do right now, even if it's just for an hour.

"how can you be blogging about fun stuff while this horrible thing is going on?"

there's always horrible things going on somewhere. if you refuse to calm down until it all stops, all you'll do is give yourself a stroke