#aftg number analysis

[odetojupiter]

andrew being in the foster system for 13 years before juvie, his home with cass being his 13th, bee being andrew’s 13th therpaist, the ravens scoring 13 goals in their first match against the foxes on the 13th of october, there are 13 ravens drills, neil’s interrogation with the fbi lasting 13 hours, andrew and neil’s numbers adding to 13

andrew: do you believe in luck?

neil: only the bad sort

13 being the ‘lucky number’ of the series despite it being a superstitious sign of bad luck. mirroring the subversion of expectations within the series that starts with andrew and neil beginning to understand each other after a shaky start, and ending with the foxes beating the ravens.

[rainbow-femme]

Thinking too much about AFTG again and I know we rag on Neil for being oblivious but I don’t think Andrew understands for most of the story that Neil likes him back

(FYI I haven’t read all the extra content, Nora may have said something about Andrew’s mindset that contradicts this, I don’t care it’s my literary analysis and I control my interpretation and the only canon that exists is what’s in the books. Also I’m Jewish, and the number one rule is anything can be true so long as you can back it up textually)

You’ve got the whole “I’m not your answer and you sure as fuck aren’t mine” line. By this point two things have happened recently: Neil has become outwardly more emotionally and physically vulnerable, and Neil has shown more interest in spending time with Andrew as well as interest in Andrew in general. And Andrew’s response to this seems to be the assumption that Neil is having a crisis he isn’t sharing and seems to have decided that Andrew is the answer to fixing that crisis. To be fair he is having a crisis, Andrew is just an unrelated benefit.

Which makes sense, most of his relationships are based, at least in Andrew’s mind, on him providing a service in exchange for someone’s presence in his life due to his belief that people will not be around him otherwise. So if Neil is looking at him in an open, appreciative, and interested way he seems to assume it’s because Neil, the terrified guy on the run from something, has found himself enjoying the stability Andrew provides and is seeing being near Andrew as a solution to his problems. That maybe Neil has tricked himself into thinking he has feelings for Andrew because he likes having someone take care of him and that’s the reason, and we see from Andrew stopping the kiss when Neil is upset that he does not consider being interested in someone while emotionally vulnerable to be real consent, therefore if Neil is interested in him due to being upset and afraid that is not Neil actually being interested. He also is clearly very agitated by this first kiss, seeming to see himself as a predator who lost control and harmed Neil by taking advantage of him.

He also continues to do nice things for Neil after getting back, despite initially seeming to express frustration, disinterest, and distaste for Neil. Giving him keys to the car, buying him a new charger, giving Neil the shotgun seat. Andrew’s habit of feeling the need to incentivize the people he cares for to stay with him, as well as what appears to naturally be his love language of giving gifts and acts of service as a replacement for verbally sharing emotions. I’m not saying that when he’s doing nice things it’s for personal gain, but I think part of him feels good doing it and part of him believes this is all he has to offer this person. He got back and didn’t say nice things to Neil because he can’t, but he can quietly take care of Neil in a way that says “please stay with me, I want you to be ok” that he verbally can’t. He knows Neil values the ability to leave upsetting situations, that Neil reacted positively the last time Andrew gave him keys, gives Neil a way to charge his phone ie have a lifeline to safety and Andrew when needed, and he’s saying that he still implicitly trusts Neil with things that are important to him. And of course shotgun means “I want you to be the person who is nearest to me”. He similarly starts making a habit of sitting next to Neil when the team is together. Andrew very much is a cat, he’s going to swat at you but also glue himself to your side

There’s also the various moments where Andrew states out loud that he has an attraction and growing emotional attachment to Neil that he has already written off as impossible. He calls Neil a pipe dream, says he knows nothing will come of having an interest in Neil without having made any attempts to see if Neil is interested. If you follow up a confession of interest with a statement that nothing will happen, you can’t be hurt by rejection because you didn’t give the person a chance to reject you.

And it doesn’t seem like it’s because Andrew is purposely avoiding attachments to people. Most of the effort he puts into his life is in his relationships, specifically into giving people reasons to stay near him. He makes the deals with Kevin and Aaron, he could have gone to a school with a more competitive Exy program but went to one where Nicky and Aaron could come and be on the team and in fact made that a requirement, he proves to Kevin that he made the right choice in making Andrew his shield by attacking anyone who hurts Kevin and putting a target on his own back. Before the start of the books we know he went out of his way to connect with Renee and do things for her that meant a lot to her, things that again seem to represent “I am doing her a favor, therefore she will be more likely to stay.” And anything else could be written off as born again Christian charity rather than acknowledge she has love and care for him.

He doesn’t see an attempt at connecting with Neil to be useless because he has no interest in building relationships with people, if there’s anything Andrew is passionate about it’s building and maintaining relationships with people. He sees it as obviously useless because there’s no way Neil would legitimately want to be with Andrew in the same way that Andrew wants him, that it is impossible to consider Neil reciprocating the way he’s feeling because all he wants is Neil himself and he doesn’t think anyone could just want him and think it’s enough.

Neil says he allowed himself to be abused by the Raven’s for two weeks on the chance he could help Andrew, that he wants to care for Andrew even without any personal benefit, and that is when Andrew calls him a pipe dream. Neil has just said that he, the guy who previously was so terrified for his own safety that he put it above all else, would willingly sacrifice his safety for Andrew. When Neil says this Andrew covers his mouth to make him stop talking, which to me suggests that this revelation was an absolute gut punch to him, that what happened to Neil was not only for his sake but accomplished nothing. Andrew’s reaction to Neil saying this is to say that Neil was supposed to be a side effect of the drugs. Meaning what Neil just said made him feel so strongly for Neil that he previously assumed it could not possibly be something he naturally has the capacity to feel.

(And he stills says that he doesn’t think he could ever have from Neil what he wants. So yeah Neil isn’t the only one who can hear a heartfelt confession and come to the conclusion that the other person is completely uninterested)

Also the whole “there is no this” conversation they loop through a few times. Again, Andrew loves building relationships, but they all are ticking clocks in his head, most of them graduation unless he can come up with something to convince them to stay. And then Neil keeps trying to say that there exists a relationship between them that has not been carefully negotiated with a clear end date, which is probably terrifying to a guy who doesn’t think he can trust anyone unless he is providing them something that makes him more useful around than not.

What Neil is proposing is that Andrew has intrinsic value and his presence is all Neil wants, and that probably seems terrifying and untrue. If Neil isn’t getting a tangible benefit that outweighs any perceived inconveniences, and if there is no point where they “re-up” their contract, then at any moment Neil could change his mind and take this thing away from Andrew. He’s had people he loved decide he’s not worth it, he knows it can happen and how terrible it is to experience. He willingly dealt with Drake and harmed himself to keep Cass, and he still lost her because he in and of himself wasn’t enough to be kept and loved because he wasn’t easy enough to love, he was broken, he was damaged. There can’t be a non transactional relationship between them because Andrew can’t see himself being enough and thinks losing it would be too painful to willingly risk

(Nicky, Kevin, and Aaron also seem to have this same view as Neil in their own way of Andrew’s inherent worth to them. Nicky really deserves more recognition for clawing his way to happiness then willingly giving it all up and upending his life and doing things repeatedly that make him unhappy because he cares so much for Aaron and Andrew, aligning himself against possible friends who could make him happy because he will always choose supporting Andrew over himself. And you have Aaron showing that he will fight Andrew tooth and nail if it means they can have a good and lasting relationship, and we see Kevin form genuine love and affection for Andrew outside of their deal, but again Andrew seems to view the relationships at the time as transactional or obligatory on their ends)

Or my favorite, the scene where Andrew makes a comment about Neil’s “neck fetish.” Neil has kissed his neck only about two times by that point, and both times it has elicited what is clearly a pleasurable response from Andrew. But Andrew can’t accept the idea that Neil is doing something with no benefit to himself and only a benefit to Andrew, that he is choosing to take time away from his own immediate pleasure to do something solely for Andrew’s enjoyment of the moment

Neil responds to the comment by saying “You like it, I like that you like it.” Neil is saying that he cares enough about Andrew to have paid attention to what pleases him and wants to take the time when they’re together to make Andrew feel good in a way that Andrew makes him feel good, that he knows Andrew has trauma with physical touch on most of his body but this is a way he can reciprocate that has no negative connotations for Andrew and serves solely to make him feel good. And Andrew does not or cannot let himself see it that way because it’s too vulnerable.

The sex is supposed to be transactional, this is what Andrew has to offer to make Neil stay with him, uninterrupted time of Andrew making him feel good and asking for nothing in return. Neil is breaking the rules, he’s making it reciprocated, if he is making Andrew feel good then Andrew doesn’t have that safety net of being the one with something to offer. So it has to be something that secretly benefits Neil, it has to be that Neil is getting something out of it or Andrew is back to not having anything special that he offers to make Neil stay with him. If it’s just Neil sitting back while Andrew gets him off then Andrew is automatically the most convenient sexual partner for Neil and he won’t look for someone else. If it’s reciprocal, then it stops being a favor Andrew is doing and takes effort on Neil’s end, as well as means the sex includes Andrew knowing what it’s like to be loved and cared for, which means he will feel it’s absence when Neil inevitably leaves because Andrew isn’t convenient enough.

It honestly seems like the turning point is his conversation with Aaron about breaking their deal, Aaron making him choose their deal or Neil. Because it A. Forces Andrew to see that Aaron intends to stay in his life without the deal, meaning that yes one of the most important people in Andrew’s world loves him without a contract. And B. It forces Andrew into a position where he has to take a leap of faith that Neil isn’t going to just walk away, that Neil sees Andrew the way Andrew sees him. And I wonder if Aaron brought up the conversation he had with Neil, that Neil said he didn’t think Andrew would fight for him, and he realized that Neil not only has been thinking about him the way he was thinking about Neil, but that he had this person in his life that he cared about and he was acting in a way that made that person not feel valued and it could probably cause the very thing he wants to avoid by pushing him away.

So you finally get the very end of the last book where Andrew doesn’t deny it when Neil says Andrew likes him, which is for him incredibly vulnerable. He’s shown that he will always protect Neil without their deal of protection, and Neil has shown that he sees everything about Andrew that other people don’t like and he loves Andrew anyway.

Because the story is from Neil’s point of view we see his internal growth as he learns to recognize and accept love and care from others but Andrew has been doing the same, realizing and trusting that Kevin and his family will still be there even if he has nothing tangible to offer, and accepting that someone could genuinely know and understand him, all the things that make him inconvenient, and still want him with no extra incentive because even as broken as he sees himself to be he still has value to others and he can trust Neil in the way he wants Neil to trust him

[ninyard]

6, 12, 13, and 23 for the aftg ask game!

- @you-know-i-get-itt

Already answered 6!

12. Favourite narrative foil?

I don’t know if I have this right I haven’t studied English/literature stuff in…like 8 years and I’m kind of stupid academically so. Forgive me if this analysis is absolutely wrong and not what that means but

I think Andrew/Renee, maybe. Renee who went through a bunch of the same things Andrew went through, becoming kind through her pain. Seeing how ugly and terrible and bad the world can get and just… being so determined to not be that person anymore. She acknowledges the horrible things she’s done with regret and doesn’t feel proud of her actions, she hates the person she used to be, she found light and meaning in life and turned her hatred of the world into smiles and positivity and spreading love like it’s her life’s mission.

And Andrew became bitter. Andrew became angry, and resentful, and lost any blatant outward kindness that he might’ve had. Andrew became violent and hateful and intolerant to bullshit and unkind people. The lessons Andrew learned from his trauma was not that he was the victim of terrible people, but that if terrible people wanted something from him, they would just take it. Renee sees the bad day someone might’ve had, while Andrew sees an asshole who has wronged him. Renee fought back against her abusers when Andrew never could. Andrew took Renee’s knives from her. They’re not true foils of each other, I know that really, but I just love seeing the different responses to the same kinds of trauma. How they started on this path that looked the same and both ended up two totally opposite kinds of people. IDK! that’s not a great analysis rly but yeah!!!

(Neither of their reactions to their trauma is wrong or right btw - just because Andrew’s sounds more insulting and negative, it doesn’t make it a bad response. Renee deserves to be angry and bitter and resentful too. They both rightfully deserve to be pissed at the life they were given. Renee just decided not to outwardly be that way.)

13. Favourite narrative symbolism?

(Was it intentional that number of this q was 13??) The number 13 and the keys I think!!

23. Something you are very sure will happen in TSC2

Kevin and Jean facing off on the court. The jerejean pottery class of course. An argument with Jeremy’s family. MAYBE Jean having the water boarding conversation with someone:

(Things I would like to see that are not so certain: Lukas blaming Jean for Graysons inevitable death, Jeremy losing his cool, Jean gets a sex toy, Ichirou cameo, the Ravens implode from the inside)

[capcavan]

Dear Cap-senpai, how does one come up with a cool, original and cohesive AU idea for AFTG? I want to write for these characters, but I have no idea where to even start. - Sincerely, a struggling writer

I am really honoured that you ask, because I see myself as mess I am just very devoted mess Making any sort of story is always the same no matter if you do fully original work or something based on pre existing IP You need to pick topic you enjoy this way you will have fun developing it it will make it feel like fun activity not work or effort. Ok lets take the Rikoi au as example bc my brain is right here right now general idea is ,, Riko as mermaid" now the question is how do i make the concept of mermaid tie into his family history i tie it into his design, i try to consider his background and possibly how his culture could tie into it - rikos family backstory - Japanese koi - i could read up some Japanese stories about koi to get even deeper - swamping number from arabic 1 to japanese to fit the theme bit more - moving moriyamas all the way back to Japan to have more traditional looking garden/pond environment for him so this is Riko but every universe and story need supporting cast [your cast can be 1-2 character it can be 5-20 or more how much you can handle but having more character makes your world and story feel more alive ] so now we have renee who because of her canon background witch charity becomes part of meer rescues team foxes who are half way house become meer sanctuary aaron and andrew who are the most different twins ever become 2 different species neils father who is piece of shit is still a piece of shit! <3 ilu nathan it's all about finding loose parallels! you don't have to tie things that way but finding things that tie your new AU yo canon even slightly will help other people understand the new dynamics and find something to relate to taking into account their love for original work when designing a story even for 1 character try to spend at least a bit to think of the world around them - aftg is actually great example of this - our main narration is made by neil who spoon feeds us very limited amount of information but in EC nora explained in much more detail how the whole world around him functions and motivations of other characters- we wouldn't knew those informations but nora wrote those books taking them into account this is why the relationships character formed have so much depth I also watch a lot of youtube videos about story analysis for video games and enjoy listening to essays about characters motivations !

[eyes-of-mischief]

weekly fic recs | 16

prompt: social media

fandoms: aftg, bnha, dc, mdzs, hq, tgcf

aftg

Reputation by lemonicee

(mature)

The rise and fall of the Minyard-Josten Rivalry.

  Usually when Neil starts shit in a post-game press interview, he does it on purpose. This time, he really just meant for it to be a joke.

“How do you feel about the possibility of ending up on a team with a former Fox teammate?” is the next question.

“Great,” Neil answers, sincere. “I would love to play with Matt or Kevin again.”

“What about Minyard? Would you sign with Atlanta?”

Neil says, “Andrew? He’s a nightmare.”

He knows it’s a joke. His team knows it’s a joke. Andrew will know it’s a joke.

The press does not seem to know that it’s a joke.

Retweet by pawnofkings

Neil @Jos10: Warning: I don’t know how to use this app

Andrew Minyard @AMinyard: As evidenced by the fact that your tweets are the most boring, inane shit on the entire platform

Neil @Jos10: I may not know how to use Twitter but I know how to use my fists to come beat ur ass

but you ain't got my number (no, you can't pin me down) by orphan_account

neil josten versus the internet, a story told over 15 years

(featuring andrew minyard, a hug, and terrible journalism)

#TEAMKIKO by OneSweetMelody

all hail the raven king @ onetwopunch Counting down the hours til Kevin Day returns to the coup #cawcawmothafuckers

wifey @fckevinday looks like someone is still holding out for the impossible @ onetwopunch

all hail the raven king @ onetwopunch @fckevinday I’m being a realist, Kevin ditching the Ravens for the PU Foxes was a mistake _____ The Foxes and Ravens play in the NCAA Exy Championships. The Internet reacts.

bnha

Q. A. B. by jihnari

One month after @hawks_unofficial's initial viral post, the blog titled "Quirk Analysis Blog for the Future", otherwise known as "Q. A. B.", has gone from an average of 10 views per post to an average of 20,000 views per post. Midoriya Izuku does not know how to view the impressions analysis for his suddenly popular blog, and only notices that sometimes, people actually comment on his posts now. He does not google himself or his moniker and thus does not see the rise in online articles and speculation. He is unaware that the "kyuu-ei-bee" he begins to hear about in passing refers to his own blog. He does not have a Twitter account. At the time, Midoriya Izuku is 15 years old.

Izuku (accidentally) starts a cult.

And Now I See Daylight by DancingInTheStorm

AnalysisOverload Current mood: HERO CON HERO CON HERO CON HERO CON

AnalysisOverload reblogged AnalysisOverload  Okay, let’s talk HeroCon. 

Look around, and you’ll see a lot of discrimination—against people whose Quirk is debilitating, against people whose Quirks scare us, against people who have trouble controlling their Quirk, against people who don’t have a Quirk at all. It’s easy to feel alone in a sea of discrimination.

Enter HeroCon:X. 

A social media fic following Deku post-graduation. 

awake and (un)afraid, asleep or by driedupwishes

“You,” Shoto says, picking his head up from where his screen is filled with The Worst Photograph Ever, curtesy of Shinsou, Jiro, Kaminari, his brother, and nearly everyone they know. “You are so dead to me.”

Kirishima blinks, mouth half open while Izuku mutters oh god, it’s too late, isn’t it on the other end of the phone, before Kirishima is leaning into his space to see his screen.

“Oh,” he says, in response to the photo someone in the crowd of civilians watching the fight had taken of them. “Oh, that’s-” he cuts himself off for a minute, leaning back to eye Shoto’s face while on the other side of the phone Izuku smothers what is probably a laugh, and then changes tracks.

“It’s super manly to love and support your friends,” Kirishima tells Shoto haughtily, as if this whole thing isn't his fault in the first place.

-

or: Kirishima and Shoto accidentally start trending on Twitter and in retaliation Shoto decides to make an Instagram to showcase all his Hero Deku merchandise, so that everyone knows how much he loves his boyfriend Izuku, and no one expects how quickly it will all spiral out from there

dc

Anti-Social by Unpretty

Batman needs a Robin.

#gotham is trending by helenabertinellis

thghhhh:

ahhhhh, i'm back in gotham. can't wait to get back to a supervillain attack every other day. i've missed this.

[the city of gotham, it's vigilantes, and resident billionaires - as seen through social media]

hq

No Retakes! by WinteRey

Hinata kept a smile as he sang, not stopping until he finished the whole song. After he did, he was about to thank everyone for the nice words when someone beyond the camera view—by now, infamously omniscient in all of his livestreams—piped in.

“Huh,” it was uttered absentmindedly, as if not intentionally said out loud. “I forgot that you can actually sing.”

---

Or, the Kagehina quarantine slash live-streaming fanfiction no one asks for.

Japan's most subscribed by NeverNothing

Kuroo Tetsurou @blacktetsurou changed his bio : volleyball player, co-owner of Bouncing Ball Corp. and so much more ;)

mcu

the spider-man conspiracy by tempestaurora

WHO IS SPIDER-MAN?

The screen showed Peter Parker, sixteen years old and determined to prove the identity of Spider-Man over the course of the three-part documentary he was making, unknowing that it would become viral within days of the first part being released. Behind the camera, way off screen, was Harley Keener, Tony Stark’s other prodigy child, grinning like crazy as Peter started the documentary. Only a few people knew what was to come, and those few people were about to have a great few weeks.

“My name is Peter Parker, and with the help of my friends, Ned Leeds, Harley Keener, and my Aunt, May Parker, who provided me with a lot of red yarn for this project, we’re going to uncover the identity of Spider-Man.”

OR

"what if peter just decided to fuck with everyone who didn’t know he was spider man and make a documentary about him trying to uncover the Truth."

mdzs

call me, beep me by myung

Wen Qing ✓ @qingwenn

Listen, kids. You might think you know everything there is to know about yourself but you really don’t. Be willing to grow and learn from your mistakes. Yes this is about the fact that I once dated a man and am now married to a woman.

life, drama and action by Akai__hana

Wei Ying✓@wei_wuxian how mad do you think Lan Zhan is going to be when he finds out that i’ve broken all the mugs we own yinandyang @istanwuxian @wei_wuxian i don’t even want to ask but…..how????

or where wangxian are internet's power couple

tgcf

all i need is your love by peerlessnut (awhalenamedblue)

3:12 PM

Wednesday, 20 December

Twitter • 5 seconds ago

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Ling Wen's Daycare

Ling Wen: @Xie Lian where are you?

Instagram • 9 minutes ago

crimsonrain started a live video. Watch it before it ends!

Press for more

[palmett-hoes]

pinned post for page navigation

L here, i reblog a lot on this page, but i try to keep it relatively organized in the tags, especially for my own posts: jokes, headcanons, metas, discussions, etc. so here's a breakdown of how i use my tags and (hopefully, website-permitting) where to find things

.

edit/warning (3/17/2020): the links don't seem to be working for tags with more than one word in them. i'll figure that out eventually. till then use the search function for multi-word tags ig

(3/19/2020): tags are working? tags are working sometimes? tags are only not working for me? please leave something in the notes telling me whether or not this post works bc i genuinely have no idea

general tags that every post gets

format tags: #txt, #art, and #pic (used in memes to differentiate from fan art) are most common. there is also #fic and #vid

character tags: i try to tag every character that appears in a post (#andrew minyard, #neil josten, #kevin day, #dan wilds, #matt boyd, #aaron minyard, #seth gordon, #allison reynolds, #nicky hemmick, #renee walker, #wymack). other characters have been tagged but these are the most common, try searching other characters by full name. however, if it's more than say 6 characters in a post, i use the general tag #the foxes, with the most important characters to the post tagged separately. #andreil, being one of my most common tags, often doesn't necessarily have #andrew minyard, and #neil josten, tagged separately. #the upperclassmen, also have their own tag because i have made several posts addressing them in particular

post content tags: #lol, which is for jokes and things i find funny. i will tag things as #meta sometimes, but the application is spotty and random. #scene is for content of scenes from canon

ships: #andreil is far and away my favorite and most-blogged-about ship. there’s also #kateaaron and #danmatt. keep an eye out for #denee even though there’s not much there yet. i choose to ignore ships i don’t like and won’t tag or reblog them. use your discretion to figure out which ones i’m talking about

#not sfw is my,,, not,,, sfw tag. i dont use n s f w bc im afraid of the algorithm after the purge

content warnings: i’m kind of inconsistent using these. i’m best at using them for fanart and for my own posts, but err on the side of caution. the format i use is ‘cw _’. some that i have used: #cw blood, #cw injury, #cw violence, #cw bruises, #cw scars, #cw drug use, #cw sexual assault, #cw sexual assault mention, #cw abuse, #cw abuse mention, #cw self harm, #cw ableism, #cw racism. i also tag #cw fat word usage which was a request. if you need something tagged just send me an ask or a message

.

how i tag my own posts

almost all of my own posts get tagged with either #my posts or #im talkin and often both. #my posts means it’s aftg content and #im talkin means it’s more informed by my own opinions, perceptions, and experiences

#clown town is my tag for the memes and shitposts i make

#my meta is a newer tag for well,, my metas that i write. not used much yet. same with #character analysis

trying to start tagging things with either #long form post for things like metas and in-depth stuff and #short form post for one-offs and jokes

#fandom, #fandom analysis, and #fandom racism are all recurring tags where i well,, discuss and analyze the fandom

#ask, #anon, and #anonymous are all for asks i respond to

#rb is a reblog, often that i added something onto. recently added #not my post but i added something on

#personal things about me only is for any post i might make that’s strictly about me and not aftg. #gaze upon me is for any pictures or picrews of me

.

recurring headcanons

Neil: #adhd neil josten, #jewish neil josten

Andrew: #fat andrew minyard, #dyslexic andrew minyard, #autistic andrew minyard

additional: #fat twinyards

.

appearance

there are several things about the way i write the foxes that differ from fandom at large, especially regarding their ethnicities. i don’t write any of the foxes as white, and that’s a very deliberate choice for me, but the way i write their ethnicities also differs from the general fanon

this is my post about how i write each of the foxes' ethnicities

the tag #picrew has a number of lineups for the foxes bc i love making picrews

this is my artbreeder lineup

[meanminyxrd]

therefore i am but make it kevin day

alright here’s another song analysis for y’all. it’s kind of a jumble of thoughts, but maybe you’ll get joy outta it.

the song we are evaluating is ‘therefore i am’ by billie eilish. i think it’s a really good song for kevin @ riko. listening to it, i’m sure you’d get why, but i’m going to be extra and explain.

WARNING! will contain spoilers to the series (obvs)

let’s start from the top:

I'm not your friend

Or anything, damn

You think that you're the man

I think, therefore, I am

I'm not your friend

Or anything, damn

You think that you're the man

I think, therefore, I am

according to genius lyrics, this chorus means: “Billie confronts the people who want to control her and makes it clear that she has no regard for other people’s opinions about her.”

so it’s kevin after he’s finally escaped and if riko hadn’t died right after the game. it’s kind of like, a ‘what if’ of if they’d had to continue interacting.

he isn’t rico’s friend, brother, pet; anything. he is no longer forced to be tied to riko. “you think that you’re the man” could also be construed as everyone, including riko himself, seeing riko as ‘the king of the court’.

“i think, therefore, i am.” this part, again according to genius lyrics, is coined from Descartes. Descartes argued that even if we are skeptical about the existence of our physical body and environment, the self-conscious of mind still inevitably exists as “we cannot doubt of our existence while we doubt.”

to me this is a strong reminder to kevin that without riko, he is still someone. he still matters. he doesn’t need riko to succeed. he’s been part of a team for so long i’m not sure he remembers how to be his own person. but he’s learning. he belongs to this earth as the earth belongs to him.

Stop, what the hell are you talking about? Ha

Get my pretty name out of your mouth

We are not the same with or without

Don't talk 'bout me like how you might know how I feel

Top of the world, but your world isn't real

Your world's an ideal

i have no doubt that riko would spit countless bullshit to kevin to try to manipulate him into coming back, (he does it in the books and also most likely would have if he lived afterwards), not to mention lots of rumors would be spread by riko to try and tear kevin down. for instance, the fact that kevin’s hand was broken in a ‘skiing accident.” since we come from the perspective of neil, we know this isn’t true. however, the rest of the world doesn’t know that. so it’s like, “stop. what the hell are you talking about? literally none of this is true.” ie when he says he’s never gone skiing, but would like to someday. “get my pretty name out of your mouth and stop spreading rumors. with or without exy, we are not the same person. don’t talk to me like you understand how i feel, because you don’t.” (like at the interview). “you’re caught up in your own delusion. you’re on top of the world, but your world isn’t real. your world’s an ideal.” the “perfect court” that riko is striving for is simply that; an ideal. something he wants but would never in reality happen.

So go have fun

I really couldn't care less

And you can give 'em my best, but just know

he is finally letting go of the power riko had over him. he is letting riko go. he couldn’t care less what riko does, says, even fucking thinks anymore. the ‘and you can give ‘em my best’ could refer to him saying “oh ya say hi to the mafia for me’ lol, like a jab. sassy queen, we love him.

I don't want press to put your name next to mine

We're on different lines, so I

Wanna be nice enough, they don't call my bluff

'Cause I hate to find

Articles, articles, articles

Rather you remain unremarkable (Got a lotta)

Interviews, interviews, interviews

When they say your name, I just act confused

obviously this whole “splitting up the two exy stars” thing has spread all over the media; that’s why the ravens are able to switch districts. everyone wants to see them ‘fight’ one another on the court. but kevin LEFT. he isn’t a part of riko anymore. “dont want press to put your name next to mine.” the whole point is that kevin day is not #2 anymore, he is his own person. he is no longer defined by a number. #2 is no longer his personality but a number on a jersey; that’s it. “we’re on different lines,” they’ve always been on opposite sides even on the same court, always battling to be the best (yet it always falling to riko by default) but they’re finally on different teams. they have always been on metaphorical different lines, but this time, it’s actual different line ups. “so i wanna be nice enough, they don’t call my bluff” he acts so civil on kathy’s show even though he is literally shaking in fear because he was terrified more of what would happen if news got out. he wants to be nice and polite enough so that the audience doesn’t catch on that something is wrong. he hates to see articles written about them, hates to answer questions about them, because he wants to let go of riko. he doesn’t want his abuser haunting his recovery. “rather you remain unremarkable,” it would be so much easier, though, if riko wasn’t so popular. (then he dies but you know how it goes.)

I'm sorry

I don't think I caught your name

I'm sorry

I don't think I caught your name

i love love LOVE this part. i think it could be such a powerful line to kevin’s growth. riko is now insignificant to him. riko has no part in kevin’s life anymore. kevin can finally heal and become his own person. the ‘i don’t think i caught your name.’ strikes me as a sassy way of saying he doesn’t even remember riko, because riko is that forgettable. he can’t even remember that dumb man’s name.

so that’s it really, lmk ur thoughts!

btw, here’s my kevin playlist if ur looking for more songs i associate with kevin  (: make sure to check my pinned post if u want more aftg character playlists!

[jexnmcrexu]

Do you have any headcanons on the kandrew dynamic? There’s such a dearth of analyses on the interactions between Kevin and Andrew and it’s a shame because their behavior with each other is so deep, peculiar and fascinating :O

Did you mean hc or analysis? i’m gonna add a bit of both just in case ;) Buckle up because this got... so long...

- See the thing about kandrew is... they’re so complex

- I mean it’s just. At first glance their personalities just completely clash, you know?

- Kevin lives and breathes Exy, he pushes himself beyond his limits, and he has this single-minded obsession with his game being flawless

- While Andrew couldn’t care less about the sport, has absolutely no drive besides the promises he makes, no ambition

- So like, when I learned all this and realized they were practically attached at the hip I went ?????

- However we later learn about the promise Andrew made Kevin, that if he stayed at Palmetto he would keep him safe

- (and this hurts a whole fucking lot because Andrew thinks the only way of keeping people from leaving is by binding them with a promise and that just BREAKS MY HEART!! but that’s a topic for another post)

- We also learn that Kevin promised him a future if he stayed by his side

- So this was basically a “I want to be with you but you wouldn’t be with me in normal circumstances so here, I can offer you this” from both of them

- They’re a disaster

- Anyway so they have a tumultuous relationship from the start

- God listen here LISTEN

- Andrew refused to go with Kevin to the Ravens because he didn’t want to follow someone who was satisfied with being second best

- Like he just hated Kevin for that

- But when Kevin went to Wymack after Riko broke his hand, Andrew must have seen there was some courage in there he could work with

- Otherwise I assure you he wouldn’t have made a deal with him, he wouldn’t have found Kevin interesting enough

- SO HEAR ME OUT

- KEVIN SAW POTENTIAL IN ANDREW, BUT ANDREW SAW POTENTIAL IN KEVIN TOO

- I’m crying thanks

- At this point Andrew becomes Kevin’s rock

- (I like to compare this with a concept I learned in two TJ Klune’s novels, wolfsong and the lighting-struck heart (even though they exist everywhere else)

- In the sense that Andrew is Kevin’s cornerstone, a link that keeps him from despairing and succumbing to darkness

- And he’s also Neil’s tether, the link that keeps him grounded and prevents him from running away

- It makes me very emo

- “You spend all this time watching our backs. Who’s watching yours?”

- shut UP

- ANYWAY

- So Kevin heavily relies on andrew

- Let me tell you this: when I first read aftg I went in knowing NOTHING about the books except that there was a gay couple; i didn’t even know it was the main couple; i didn’t even know it was about sports

- And I thought that that couple were kevin and andrew

- I kid you not, I didn’t catch on until halfway through the raven king

- It was just so plainly obvious that they care about each other

- Like sure, they fight a lot, Andrew threatens Kevin and fucking cuts him with a knife at one point

- But that’s how they are; they’re constantly dancing around one another because they both have this huge thing in the middle: Andrew’s future

- And they both know it

- It’s what keeps them together but also what keeps them apart

- There’s an essential part of their relationship that simply cannot work if they don’t acknowledge it

- Which Andrew refuses to do until like the end of the king’s men

- ridiculous, both of them

- So on to my headcanons

- Basically I think they started to hook up a couple of weeks after Kevin transferred to Palmetto

- They were at Eden’s and they were drinking and Andrew was horny and Kevin was hot

- And tipsy

- So they kiss. I can’t decide if Kevin initiated it or if Andrew did

- I think maybe Kevin

- Kevin isn’t familiar with Andrew’s history at this point, so Andrew gathers inhuman amounts of patience and explains, without going into detail, that they’re playing by his rules

- Basically: don’t touch unless prompted and always, always ask first. Or else, knife in your gut.

- It becomes a regular thing and Andrew hates that it’s a regular thing but he also doesn’t

- Kevin is very conflicted because of the public image he needs to uphold

- But he never angsts about it with Andrew because he knows that would only push Andrew away

- A year goes by and there’s feelings in the way that they both kind of acknowledge, only never out loud

- it’s more in the actions?

- in the way Kevin always looks for Andrew first, in the way Andrew is always aware of where Kevin is in the room, never goes too far from him, and

- i can’t stress this enough

- in the way he is unconditional support for kevin

- kevin is a mess; his childhood was traumatizing— so was Andrew’s, and yet Andrew is always there for Kevin whenever Kevin falls into despair

- He knows how to calm him, how to keep him grounded, and is willing to go to the ends of the Earth to protect him

- He doesn’t make deals with everyone, y’all

- Just people he wants to keep close

- Kevin is one of them

- And Kevin... GOD, Kevin

- He never, ever gives up on Andrew

- No matter how many times Andrew tells him no to exy, he keeps pushing and he keeps waiting and he doesn’t. give. up.

- Kevin saw potential in him, but he also saw that the reason he didn’t care was because he didn’t think he deserved it

- And Kevin pushed

- And Andrew pushed back, in his own way

- Between him and Neil they made Kevin realize he was so much more than number 2

- I bet you Andrew used it as a counter argument so many times whenever Kevin brought his exy skills up

- “IF ONLY YOU LISTENED-“

- “I’m sorry, I don’t listen to second places”

- It drives Kevin absolutely insane

- They’re constantly pushing each other and grabbing at them at the same time

- It’s why they work

- Their dynamic is just complex and passionate and beautiful

- Hopefully we get to read about them more

[jeanmoreaux]

thirty questions

tagged by @loyalfoxes​ & @neilabramjcsten​ (thanks babes ♡)

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 people

nicknames: mish, elle, mimi

gender: female

sign: cancer

height: 5'8"

time: 2:36pm

birthday: 10 july

favorite bands: florence and the machine, bastille, the neighbourhood, the score, 21p, weathers, ajr, kodaline, hurts, imagine dragons, onerepublic

favorite solo artists: troye sivan, halsey, jaymes young, astrid s, hozier

song stuck in my head: scary love - the neighbourhood ((good shit, reminds me of andreil))

last movie I watched: uhm tbh i can’t remember XD probably something shitty

last show I watched: does kitchen nightmares count? bc that’s basically the last thing i watched, tho i think i will watch some parks and recs today bc i miss this show A LOT!!!

when did I create this blog: april 2017, i think???

what do I post: aftg, hp, trc, got/asoiaf, stranger things, movies, poetry, literature in general, some aesthetic and photography as well

what did I last google: white heart emoji

other blogs: nah fam, just this one

do I get asks: yeah, but not regularly ((i woudn’t mind to, tho XD))

why did I choose this url: i love my smol, apathetic, loyal, protective stabby-stabby son

following: 479

followers: 8,481

average hours of sleep: 5-10 (i’m unhealthy af)

lucky number: 8

instruments: unsuccessfully tried to play the flute as a child 

what are you wearing: sweatpants, a sweater, fluffy socks and a scarf bc i am FREEZING

dream job: idk, maybe editor or teacher or writer? i honestly have no plan for my future, i am an absolute mess

favorite food: chocolate, pasta, sushi, pizza, ice cream

last book I read: the turn of the screw - henry james (for my textual analysis seminar) ((if you consider longer fanfictions books then the last thing i read was a fanfic))

3 favorite fandoms: fandoms generally are always kind of ‘meh’ bc in ever fandom is drama and conflict but if i had to choose 3 they’d be aftg, hp and got/asoiaf

tag 20 people: @julianlavelle​, @leejordan​, @monstrouss​, @xjosten​, @ccress​, @boydsten​, @philosophium​, @melqomene​

[odetojupiter]

uhhh so the number four is associated with death in certain cultures, including japanese, which is fitting for the butcher’s son, yes but just remember neil was supposed to be number three and jean was supposed to be number four ,and in every draft but one jean dies. he is symbolically saved from that fate by dodging the number four (being given, instead, the number three which represents REBIRTH of all things - i made a whole post about that if ur curious) because it means he was never marked for death. so in this draft, where he’s number three, but was supposed to be number four, he comes so close to death - to the point where renee doesn’t know how he’s still alive - because he was supposed to die, doomed by the narrative, but that number three saves him. that number three represents resurrection, and so he doesn’t die like he was supposed to. because he’s not number four, he’s number three. he comes back. he transforms, he heals. he becomes number 29 (i will eventually make a post about jean and the 29)

neil, though, was marked for death. he had the number four tattooed on him, and he goes through his own narrative believing he will die by the end of it. his survival, however, is foreshadowed in the very moment neil thinks he’s about to die - when he is kidnapped. lola burns the number four - the signifier of death - off his face, leaving him scarred, yes, but not marked for death anymore. and so he lives. and guess what: the number 10 represents the start of a new chapter, that one cycle is coming to an end and a new life is starting, one that you’ve worked hard for. so for the number four to be burned off of neil, that tells us neil is going to live. and when neil becomes neil legally, he settles into the number 10 properly. and his new life begins.

[odetojupiter]

what if i told you that thea’s raven number - 14 - is an unlucky number because, translated, it sounds similar to ‘must die’/‘will certainly die’ in cantonese, and ‘is dead’/‘will be dead’ in mandarin.

‘her number was 14 for reasons’ - nora sakavic, aftg extra content

what if i suggested that tetsuji gave her that number specifically because he considered a black woman dominating his own sport a threat not only to himself but to his perfect court. not only is tetsuji’s misogyny pretty clear, but we all know the other ravens were killing themselves trying to be given the next perfect court number, but that was never gonna happen because even though the perfect court was actually full of the best players, it was never actually about championing the best players, it was about ownership. so what if i said that tetsuji hated that thea was as good as she was without having any ties to himself, outside of signing on to the college team he coaches. he felt undermined because he couldn’t fully credit himself for her skill, and so he gave her the 14 - on the surface, it’s an achievement to get so close to single digits for the ravens BUT it comes with a hidden threat. you will die if you go too far.

and then what if i suggested that nora also chose 14 because of the way the fandom reacted to thea. i have no idea whether she’d already picked out the number before the series was published but i don’t think it’s mentioned in the original series ?? so i mean…

yes, i’ve seen the list of issues people have with thea but what’s crazy to me is that we know literally nothing about her bar the few tidbits nora mentioned in the extra content, and the few scenes we have in the series. and i know there was probably a full backstory written for her that we never got to see bc of all the hate nora got purely for introducing her, and the subsequent reactions to literally everything we’re told about thea just makes me think that nobody actually learned anything about how people’s trauma can drastically influence how they perceive the world and how they react to things including the abuse of other people - cough. andrew and aaron cough. - her reactions to things are bound to be built off her experiences and she was literally in a cult which would completely rewire her world view so like (even what we’re told in the EC, we don’t meet her until her fifth year of edgar allan so she’s five years deep into this shit guys, and you know tetsuji was physically and mentally abusive to all the ravens u have to know that by now)—-

but anyway this post isn’t supposed to be a defence or a critique of her i just find the number 14 aligns with the way people speak about her as though she’s done something bad enough to deserve death threats, so i just hope you realise when u perpetuate that shit it’s like ur tattooing that 14 right on her face.

oh to add to that, in japanese culture the number fourteen represents imperfection, but specifically beauty found in things that are imperfect. if i say that’s a way of saying no thea isn’t perfect but that doesn’t mean she deserves to die ? what then?

bc no she’s not a perfect person and ill be the first to admit i hated that scene in tsc with jean, but are you really telling me that’s the worst thing an aftg character has ever done?? why is she being branded as the worst when she was literally in the series for like 3 pages?

and do u know what, the fact that she, post graduation, still wears her 14 is 1) a sign of pride that she really is one of the best and 2) a reminder that she is not dead yet, despite the efforts of tetsuji and the literal fandom

[odetojupiter]

i’m back on my numbers bullshit again - up next: jean moreau. (i cannot say any of this was done intentionally but i know for a fact there’s weight to at least some of the numbers in the series, so if i give all of them weight u can’t stop me)

firstly, the number 3:

obviously there are a lot of biblical connotations for the number three, as important scriptures in the bible are repeated three times. the trinity is also represented by the number 3 (father, son, holy spirit). instances such as jesus’s resurrection on the third day etc etc. the spiritual meaning of the number three therefore includes both wholeness, and resurrection/new life.

relating this to jean - jean’s number represents wholeness despite him being broken down so completely in the nest. he feels fractured, but it’s his place in evermore, in the perfect court, that becomes his lifeline. he tells himself constantly - i am a raven, i belong to the moriyamas - and his place as a raven is signified through the number three. so despite feeling so shattered, the three on his face, representing wholeness, acts as a constant reminder of what he is capable of - i.e. the perfect court. no matter how broken he is, he still has a place on the line, he’s still whole enough to live. (this is not to say, of course, that he should have been playing like that, just that the symbol of the three became a signifier of his worth to him during this time, and since it represents wholeness and complete perfection, it was a way he could motivate himself to hang on to life a little longer. this can be seen in tsc through how much jean genuinely believes the perfect court is a measure of skill, and he does not doubt his abilities or whether he is worth the number).

and then - resurrection + new life. jean finishes his THIRD year of college in a new environment, healing from a near death experience, and is finally given room to become someone other that riko’s property. his complete resurrection is marked through the adoption of a new number - he sheds the number three for the number twenty nine, beginning his new life for good.

outside of the bible, the number three still holds significance: it also represents sincerity, understanding, spirituality, and loyalty. i like to think jean displays all of these traits. and i can’t not mention jean’s complicated relationship with religion when talking about the number three.

now on to mentions of the number three in tsc:

- jean takes three attempts to talk to renee when he first wakes in south carolina.

- abby says it’s another three weeks before jean will heal enough to travel, and three months minimum before he can get back on the court

- jean has three fractured ribs

- jean and zane were roommates for three years

- three remaining members of the perfect court

- after jean hangs up on jeremy the first time, he lets it ring three times before answering again

- riko trapped jean in a box for three days (can i consider his reemergence from the box a reimagining of jesus coming back from the dead after three days, or is that blasphemy? idk im not religious)

- jean had three outfits in the nest

- jean had been on the raven line for three years

- the three housemates: jean cat and laila vs the three friends: jeremy cat and laila

there a lot more mentions of the number three in tsc but i deemed them insignificant cause it’s a lot to do with height and numbers of players

if anyone’s curious i can do another post on the significance of the number 29, since this post is getting long now 😭

[odetojupiter]

this is absolutely random but I got caught up on your tag saying "I'm way too good at reading things that maybe aren't there" and listen. I don't know what you study (I remember you mentioning you take creative writing classes so??? sorry if you literally know this just trying to encourage you) but I study literature and in literary theory there's a lot of discussions about whether what the author wanted/meant/intended actually matters in interpretation and understanding literary works and well, a lot of theorists actually agree it doesn't so if you say it's there it's probably there, no matter if intentionally by the author, so ig please keep going off unapologetically we love to hear it

(also just in general, your analysis of the number three pretty much resonates a lot with Jacques Derrida's formal idea of deconstruction (basically tearing texts apart to the minute detail, and collecting and inter-connecting these details/words with associations of the reader to form a structure of meaning and it's all very abstract (a pain to learn during studies but cool to see in action!) so I just had to think about that)) yeah that's it have a great day

ahhh this is my first ever ask so thank u anon <333

and yeah, i did a joint honours english and creative writing degree (graduating in three weeks :/) and there were literary theory modules each year that were compulsory for single honours english students BUT because i was also in creative writing, i couldn’t actually take them bc they ran at the same time as my cw classes soooo all this to say that even tho i did study literature i wasn’t really able to study that much literary theory - tho of course theory is relevant in all lit modules but i didn’t take a class specifically for that. (i wanted to, cause i love that shit, but i wasn’t allowed) ((annoyingly in first year there was a module that covered not only advanced lit theory but also academic writing that i wasn’t able to take so i never learned how to write university essays? like that’s not inconvenient at all))

that being said, i’m of course familiar with the concept of intention vs interpretation mainly through barthes’ death of the author theory (and it comes up a lot in cw classes because in workshops people share every thought they have about your work and ur not allowed to defend urself!! cause ur intention doesn’t matter if someone interprets what you wrote a certain way!!!) and the thing is i get it, i do - and i love to analyse whatever i can, i tear things to shreds with no mind for intent - but i also know people outside of literary studies love to say shit just isn’t that deep.

im always watching and rewatching shows with one or two of my sisters and one of them especially makes fun of me a lot for analysing everything from the dialogue to delivery to lighting and staging and camera work because she thinks i get way too into it. she either stares at me blankly or tells me to shut up (which happens a lot it’s very annoying let me talk ffs) so i guess i mainly added that in the tags to ensure everyone knows that i know that i analyse a lot so hopefully no one feels the need to tell me?? i don’t know, i just get slightly self conscious about analysing things when i know i could be saying something slightly unhinged lmao.

but, i will of course, keep going off on here about aftg bc that’s what im here for lol (i got sad about not being able to share my thoughts anywhere)

oops forgot to say THANK YOU for reassuring me about my jean number 3 analysis i’m always thinking someone’s gonna say wtf r u on about mate 😭😭