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whoopsyeahokay · 6 months ago

Text

October Sun

summary: Wally hadn't been able to make sense of what you'd said. How had it been possible that he and the others had been trapped for so long without knowing it? With that truth out for him to examine, Wally hadn't been sure he'd wanted to look any closer. He'd felt violated. Betrayed. Lost. What other lies had he been unwittingly a part of?

pairing: Wally Clark x fem!reader

warnings: eventual smutty smut smut. and mad spoilers. and obvious Canon divergence. very involved, very dense plot.

bon reading

___________________________💀

OCTOBER SUN pt.14

The world fell away as your words penetrated. Wally stilled, didn't breathe, didn't blink, didn't make a sound. As if he could delay the impact of that truth if he shut down critical functions.

Weakly, "What do you...mean?" Wally croaked, but something deep within himself had always known.

Known it like common sense; the feeling like looking at a green sky and knowing it was supposed to be blue. Like being sick since birth yet knowing that that wasn't what healthy felt like. He'd known and yet never questioned it because he and the others had had no way to be sure their situation was terribly, tragically wrong.

In the earliest days succeeding his untimely demise, Wally had tried to leave the school.

Not to follow his mother home after she'd donated his trophies, helmet, and jacket to display in the stadium entrance. Not to join his friends in Rodney's basement to get stoned after his memorial service. Not to break his own heart by stalking Jenny to the motel where she and her second choice prom date, Gary fucking Reid, lost their virginities together.

Rather, to go for a walk for the sake of getting some air. Despite having been flung back to the field multiple times by then—a lesson that had drilled into him the habit of remaining perpetually vigilant of his surroundings—Wally had had this intrinsic understanding that he could roam beyond what the barrier permitted.

So much so that, one evening, he hadn't kept track of where he'd been going (partly because he'd trusted himself to veer away from the perimeter, but mostly because he'd been relaxed. Not actively chasing down a loved one). It'd been an unconscious series of actions; one foot in front of the other, listening to Eddie Money's Can't Hold Back on a Lost & Found walkman, strolling into the thin smattering of trees on the edge of the grounds, and then wham—

Back to Start.

It had happened a few times after that, too. Rhonda would cackle around her lollipop du jour, roll her eyes, and tell him to, "Get smart, Jockstrap."

When Charley had come along, he'd experienced the same thing. And then Ajay and Katelynn. Learning the lesson after the lesson had been learned. Mr. Martin had calmly and wisely informed them that it was merely the result of not having internalized being dead yet.

But that hadn't sat right with Wally, similar to having been given the excuse of roughhousing when he'd caught his parents in a compromising position one innocuous summer-break afternoon before he'd aged into double digits.

"Babe..." Wally croaked, just above a whisper, the weight of what you'd unveiled slamming into his chest and leaving him winded, "What are you saying?"

Your eyes, marbled and bright—though not outright glowing like they had in the theater—stared right into him for a moment. You were obviously calculating what it meant that Wally couldn't leave the high school, all the hows and whys flittering like dust motes between you and him.

"Unless you're a residual haunter, like Mina or Yuri, you should be able to go wherever you want. How long have you been stuck?"

Wally's throat clicked when he swallowed, "Since I died."

You pressed your forehead to his, hands slotting under his jaw, and, voice laced with grief, said, "That's not possible."

"I mean, maybe it is?" Wally tried to reason, slumping back in his seat and staring at the 5-yard line as he stitched together his own theories based on what he'd learned as an actual dead person. "It's not like ghosts wrote those books you read. Maybe whoever wrote them got it wrong."

Shaking your head, "Actually, they did. Not the physical copies, obviously, but those authors collaborated with ghosts to write those books."

Wally didn't know what to say to that. Didn't know if he could answer a lot of things anymore. Did he even know what it meant to be dead?

You seemed willing wait him out as he turned everything over in his head, one hand on his shoulder, the other lifting the one he'd had on your calf so you could string his arm through your legs and cradle his hand on your belly, your thumb rubbing soothing patterns between the bones.

"What does it mean?" He asked, distant.

Wally could feel himself slipping away, the revelation frosting him from the inside and making him numb. He'd had a similar experience when he'd been fourteen and had broken his collarbone. The pain so intense that his brain had immediately severed its connection to the feeling.

Shock.

"It means that something doesn't want you to leave." You answered once he'd returned his eyes to yours. Your features creased, "Or someone."

Wally felt that statement like a nail through the chest. "How?"

You stared at him helplessly, caressing his cheek and then tilting forward to press your foreheads together again. The action worked to ground Wally, reeled him back from the edge of an existential crisis he wasn't ready to have.

Regretfully, "I don't know, Wally. But we'll figure it out, okay?"

He nodded against you. Closed his eyes and absorbed the warmth of your nearness, the solidity of your touch. Allowed those things to calm him.

"At least we can rule out Mr. A having anything to do with that, right?" Wally snorted in an attempt to lighten the mood.

You pulled back, smiled gently, and nodded, "Right. But he could've used it to his advantage. With her soul stuck here, Maddie wouldn't be able to get back into her body and then go to the police. It also means that he could've safely stashed her body anywhere, so long as he has access to life support."

"You think he dropped her at the hospital?"

"Not here." You said, "Split River isn't big enough to pull that off. He could've driven her to another state? Dropped her off at a big city hospital as a Jane Doe?"

Wally grimaced, shaking his head at the depravity, "That's messed up."

"God, her body could be in Detroit for all we know and it wouldn't get back here until someone in the hospital there made the connection. Unless Sheriff Baxter decides to widen the search."

"Couldn't you ask him? It's like you said, Xavier's your brother from another mother. Wouldn't the sheriff listen to you?"

You didn't seem convinced, reciting in a satire of an upbeat tone, "Hey Sheriff, I think my teacher knocked Maddie out of her body and took it to another state all so she wouldn't tell you about the money he's hiding in his classroom. We should totally look into that."

Wally responded in a responsible manner, "That sounds like an awful idea, let's not do that."

Curling against the back of your seat, voice slightly strangled, you uttered, "So, Maddie's stuck in an In Between 'til I can find her body and bring it back to her."

Wally sensed the granite mass of the pressure you were already putting on yourself. Choosing to steer you out from under it, he diverted the conversation, "Still haven't told me what an In Between is, by the way."

It did the trick, at least for the time being. Your lips quirked up at the corners and the wrinkle between your brows vanished as you informed him, "It's exactly what it sounds like. A plain between plains."

"Yeah, pretty thing, you're going to have to dumb it down more." Wally said, willing to sacrifice his dignity for the sake of making you smile.

Grinning, you set the stage, "Think of plains like different worlds. I'm in the living world, you're in the dead world, right?"

"Got it."

"Now, pretend there are doorways into those worlds. In Betweens are the spaces between the doors." You nibbled your bottom lip and Wally's attention immediately slipped, the urge to lick into your mouth making him twitch. Sweetly unaware, you back-tracked and tried a different avenue, "Not doors...maybe glass walls?"

"The door thing made sense. I mean, I think I get it. In Betweens are those places that anyone can access, whereas the living world is just for the living and the dead world is just for the dead. Am I close?"

"Yeah, you got it." You praised and Wally had to stifle the desire to puff out his chest and preen. "Well, not anyone can access In Betweens, but if your soul can Travel, that's where you go."

"So, when you project, you're in an In Between." Wally stated, though he was hedging for clarification.

"Exactly."

"And you said Maddie's stuck in an In Between, too, right?"

Wally saw the moment you clocked where he was going with that train of thought.

With a lamenting sigh, you said, "Unfortunately, In Betweens are complex. They're unique to all kinds of things like bloodlines and soul-ties—" Wally opened his mouth to ask, but you got there first, "—incredibly deep bonds you make in life with another person." He closed his mouth and listened as you elaborated. "So, me and my great-aunt enter the same In Between and can see each other. But Maddie..."

"Isn't blood?"

"And she and I weren't close enough to form the type of bond you'd need to Travel the same In Between. Either she'd have had to invite me into hers or I'd have had to invite her into mine. It's extremely intimate. Not something you do with someone you only hang out with in a group." You perked up and finally gave Wally a full, supernova smile. "I actually wrote you some notes."

The implication conjured an image of you scribbling notes for him under light cast from a laptop screen, kicking your feet as you lay on your bed like a schoolgirl. All so that he could understand the twisty, twiddly secrets of the universe...

He swooned, barely holding back a wistful exhale.

And then his brain ticked back a few frames to you on an unmade bed. The collar of the oversized t-shirt Wally hoped you owned bearing one shoulder, and the smooth skin of your legs on display.

He couldn't care less about the state of his deadness now, and what it meant that he couldn't leave the school grounds. Instead, he let a slow, devilish smirk slant across his mouth, emboldened by hormones and how receptive you were as he leaned into your space.

He slid his hand from yours and placed it on your thigh, "Gonna let me copy your homework, baby?"

"Gotta get those grades up before the big game." You played along, "Don't want you kicked off the team."

Without hesitation, Wally struck, halfway out of his seat, hand gripping the armrest behind you to hold himself up. He loomed over you, little thing that you were, squished into your seat and completely caged in by him. He hovered, heard your breath hitch, and watched your gaze go hazy.

"Lucky to have a girl like you on my side, then, huh?" Wally said, voice rough, tightly controlled, closing the distance between your lips in increments.

You reached up, wrapped your arms around his neck, "Damn right, big shot," and dipped in.

A throat cleared somewhere over Wally's shoulder, from behind and moderately above, and drove him back into his seat at Mach speed, his hold on you resituating to a socially acceptable place on your ankle. The interruption was accompanied by that arcing of gravity that emitted from a living body which meant Wally was once more on the outside looking in.

"Okay there, hot shot, time to get moving. Students aren't s'posed to be up here outside'a game time." The maintenance worker said, illicit cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth.

Wally noticed the man wasn't quite looking at you, and, for the first time, he had to wonder what the hell people saw when you and he were together while you were still in your body.

You pulled yourself up as fast as the angle allowed you to without injury, foot still tucked in Wally's lap. As soon as your head peeked above the back of your seat, the maintenance worker clutched a hand to his heart and plucked the cigarette from his lips.

"Jesus, girl, you can't do that to folks." He scolded you, southern accent thickening, "Lookin' like a zombie comin' out the grave or what."

"Sorry," You said and sounded as puzzled as Wally was by the man's overreaction.

"Just hurry up and get goin'." His eyes swept in a strange pattern, away from you then back then away, fixing on a point that would have been Wally's nose if he weren't invisible. "You kids these days thinking you can be wherever you wanna be, huh? Ignoring the rules, like they don't apply to you..."

God, this guy. "Can it, asshole. Give her a minute to get up." Wally snapped, bolstered by the fact that the man couldn't hear him. "Bet you're bent outta shape because all that nicotine makes your dick about as useful as a wet napkin."

He heard you choke on a laugh that you quickly masked under a cough.

The man squinted, lips pursed in aggravation. Surprisingly, he departed with no more than a gruff, "Get gone!" and stuck his half-burned cigarette back into his mouth.

Wally glared after him as the man marched up the stairs toward a ladder open beneath a curtain of cables and metal that spilled from the ceiling. Clearly, the man had been in the middle of fixing something when he'd seen you.

"Fucker." Wally grumbled. He patted your leg, pressed a kiss to your knee before he released you.

"I appreciated the support," You giggled, "Even if it doesn't do much on my side of things, it's nice to know you have my back."

"I've always got you, baby." Wally vowed as he unfolded himself and rose to his feet. He couldn't help tacking on, "Every bit of you," with a wink that made you pink up so prettily.

You wetted your lips, ducked your face into your shoulder; shy after you'd been caught in what might’ve been a very awkward position. "I'm starting to get that."

Wally let you take the lead, enjoyed how you brushed up against him as you shuffled out of the row and onto the stairs. He shot the man one last angry look as he grabbed his jacket and then turned to trail you across the field and out of the stadium.

At the top of the grandstand, feet from the ladder, the man examined his cigarette through a profoundly glum expression.

With a grunt, he dropped it to the ground and crushed it under the thick sole of his work boot, simultaneously pulling the crumpled, two-from-empty pack out of his breast pocket and whipping it into a nearby trashcan.

💀___________________________

PART THIRTEEN - PART FIFTEEN

also available on AO3!

MASTERLIST

#Milo Manheim #Wally Clark #Wally Clark x Reader #fem!reader #Wally Clark smut #Wally Clark fanfiction #Milo Manheim fanfiction #School Spirits #zed necrodopolis #Disney Zombies #October Sun

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wangxianficfinder · 4 months ago

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I'm in the mood for...

July 23rd

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1. Hello :D

Itmf a few things

A. xy and wwx both getting adopted by the jiang clan and maybe xy helping to matchmake wangxian?

b. any wangxian fics where xy and wwx are besties

c. wangxian fics with songxuexiao as a bg ship

1A)

Growing from Mud by Aly_H (M, 147k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, SongXiao, SangYang, QingJue, XiCheng, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Adoption, Injury, YunMeng Jiang XY, Canonical Character Death, Slow Burn, Major Character Injury, Angst Angst with a Happy Ending, Wrongful Imprisonment, PTSD)

1B)

Debts of a Child by Hauntcats (M, 115k, WangXian, dark, YZY Bashing, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Angst and Feels, lots of anger, JC Bashing, not Jiang friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Content warning for icky spiders in later chapters.) wwx and xy are adopted brother as wwx leaves the jiang clan early on

🔒Tangled Threads by merakily (T, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, Humor, Armchair Therapy, Confused XY, WWX & XY Friendship, XY just has some teenage angst he's working through, this is basically a xy+aq buddy cop dramaas they try to figure out wangxian's whole deal, XY learns how to knit)

🔒 necromancy is a valid career path! Series by coslyons, Skadiseven (T, 41k, WangXian, XY & WWX & WN & WQ, Modern with Magic AU, Seattle, Necromancy, Found Family, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Gardens & Gardening, Mathematics, Running, Growing up) foster kid vibes

[Podfic of] Tangled Threads by Merakily by AuntieIroh (T, 30-45min, WWX & XY, A-Q & XY & SL & XXC, Modern, High School, Humor, Armchair Therapy, XY gets the therapy he deserves, Confused XY, WWX & XY Friendship, XY just has some teenage angst he's working through, this is basically a xy+aq buddy cop drama, as they try to figure out wangxian's whole deal, XY learns how to knit, Song: Angry (The Rolling Stones)) therapist rather than bestie but they like each other!

1C)

🔒 live from new york by varnes (E, 87k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, snl au, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, A Family Can Just Be The Staff Of A Popular Late Night Sketch Show, Pining, Getting Together, Modern, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, and they were ROOMMATES, Frottage, Light Bondage, could not be lighter or gentler bondage) songxuexiao is very subtle but its there

Time After Time by ghosthouses (T, 4k, WangXian, SongXueXiao, High School, 80's Romance AU, Prom, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Mutual Pining, oblivious wangxian, the xuesongxiao is mostly background, fixing love triangles with polyamory, lwj in a suit)

Violet Spider's Choice by tkbenjamin (M, 62k, WangXian, XiYao, SongXueXiao, XuanLi, JFM/YZY, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Kid Fic, Yin Iron, Good Parent JFM, Good Parent YZY, JGY Redemption, XY Redemption, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, LWJ Spoils WWX, No Underage Sex, Everybody Lives, Murder gremlins)

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2. Please help, oh wonderful FicFinders! This is an ITMF request: any fic that is really harsh on Madam Yu but does NOT include Jiang Cheng bashing. Especially if she suffers some comeupance for the way she treats WWX+her kids.

🔒 If Wishes Were Donkeys by NightOwl1 (M, 101k, WIP, WangXian, SVSSS, Time Travel Fix-It, Case Fic, Mpreg, Fluff and Humor, Dysfunctional Jiāng Family, Bad Parent YZY, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Period-Typical Homophobia, Crossdressing, LWJ and WWX Have a Breeding Kink, It’s All The System’s Fault, Post-Canon, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Warning: JGS, Good Uncle LQR, LWJ and WWX Are LSZ’s Parents, Inappropriate Humor, Family Feels) THE YZY comeuppance fic in my opinion

🔒🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 57k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU)

🧡 To have and to hold by Moominmammashandbag (M, 78k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Major character injury, CQL verse, Happy Ending)

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3. Hi do you know any fic about weiying transmigrating into a novel or game or such?

So Call Me a Pessimist, but I Don’t Believe in It by Anonymous (Not Rated, 133k, WIP, WangXian, Food Issues, Family Feels, WWX is a music teacher, WN and WWX are Best Friends from the future, They use memes to talk covertly, Transmigrator WWX, transmigration au, Slow Burn)

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4. Hello! This is my second time asking im in the mood for fics for wangxian suicide squad au or joker au if there is any thank you!

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5. hi!! itmf is there any wangxian fics that has catboy wy like feline misconduct by Papriqua and vicchan @yesibest

stray cat strut by ScarlettStorm (E, 54k, WangXian, No War AU, the world's least mysterious casefic, Comedy, Shenanigans, Slow Burn, a disgusting amount of magically necessary forehead smooches, switch rights)

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6. Hi there. Can you please link me to any "*the most heavy angst* wangxian fic *with happy ending*" where wwx life is constantly in danger as he fought to leave / where wwx desperately tries to gain lwjs love risking everything.

Thankyou for all your hard work

Twin Demons of Mò by XiaoFeiFei (ArfBarkWoof) (M, 358k, MXY & WWX, wangxian, JL & MXY, XY & MXY, JGY & MXY, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Injury, Abuse, Death, Twin Demons of Mo AU, MXY Lives, Major Character Injury, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Minor Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Minor Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Torture, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, Canon Divergence, Self-Harm, Found Family, Sexual Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, POV Alternating) is /super/ heavy but ends very nicely

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7. Hello! ITMF light hearted secret relationship fics? Either canon or modern, I am just in the mood for some fluff and comedy about WangXian trying to hide their obvious interest in each other from everyone else. Thank you!

🔒 A heated Livestream. by satans_dolly_boy666 (G, 1k, WangXian, WWX & OCs, JC & WWX, WWX & NHS, Modern, livestream, gamer, Established WangXian, Possessive LWJ, Supportive LXC, Jealous LWJ, Internally screaming WWX, Internet Famous, Sugar Daddy, OK no but still-, College/University, College Student WWX, LWJ is fucking rich, Gossip, Surprises, Surprise Kissing, Secret Relationship, Idiots in Love, Dorks in Love, Showing Off, LWJ is a little shit, Identity Reveal, Relationship Reveal, Gay Panic)

After the Final Rose by azurewaxwing (E, 55k, wangxian, modern, reality show au, secret relationship, fluff & angst, happy ending, bachelor LWJ, cameraman WWX, smut)

🔒To Make Him a Perfect Bride by Hinu (E, 139k, WangXian, Modern, Feminization, Crossdressing, Marriage Proposal, Romantic Comedy, Meet the Family, Homophobia, Cultural Differences, Discrimination, Wealth kink, Potentially Unhealthy Beauty Standards, Rich LWJ, Power Bottom WWX, Sugar Daddy LWJ, Plot With Porn, Mild Kink, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Coming Out, Implied Canon-Typical Child Abuse, Phone Sex in Public, Sexual Harassment, competent wwx, Financial Domination, Sexual Roleplay, Light BDSM, WWX’s dog phobia, Submissive LWJ, Blood, Smoking, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, WWX’s dissociative panic attacks in later chapters, Gay LWJ, Protective LWJ, Weddings, Wedding Planning, Secret Relationship, Genderqueer WWX, BAMF NHS, Gay WWX, LWJ and WWX Have a Breeding Kink, fem! WWX is A-Jingyi’s and A-Yuan’s sexual awakening, Office Sex, Airplane Sex, Happy Ending, Class Differences, Crazy Rich Asians Fusion)

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8. ITMF Sunshot Campaign and Burial Mounds Settlement rewrites where WWX still has his golden core? Thank you!

💖🔒 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it’s gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn’t begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27)

Just go forward like you mean it by tawaen (M, 101k, WangXian, Canon Divergence WWX does not attend the Wen indoctrination, WWX saves Lotus Pier, Inventor WWX, No Golden Core Transfer, Sect Leader JYL, JC Has No Golden Core, Bad Parents JFM and YZY) sort of works by featuring a Wei Ying who keep his core and who helps the Wen remnants, just not in the Burial Mounds.

Cultivating immortality by KizuKatana (E, 231k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Mutual Pining, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, unreliable narrator, Found Family, First Time, novel canon relationship dynamics)

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9. Hey! I was looking for some beefy/chubby wangxian fics. Honestly, I'd love to see either of them put on some weight or at least not be just dehydrated muscle-y ppl. Somewhat similar to "the sweetest kind of victory" by stiltonbasket or "as a treat." by Mikkeneko

leave all your love and your longing behind by ScarlettStorm (E, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Meet-Ugly, Panic Attacks, autistic lwj, neurodivergent wwx, the neighborhood asshole dog, if you’ve met one then you know, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Happy Ending, for everyone including the asshole dog, Eventual Smut, switch rights, Sex Toys, horny yearning, Masturbation) WWX has suffered food insecurity in the past but now is healthily chubby which both he and LWJ appreciate

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10. ITMF Wwx going with A-yuan for the celebration of 100 days of Jin Ling.

💖 A Crying Shame by thunderwear (G, 16k, wangxian, canon divergence, fix-it, burial mounds settlement days, getting together, pining, domestic fluff, love confessions, first kiss, sharing a bed, marriage proposal)

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11. To fic finder I request your humble aid I am trying to find podfics of Wei ying and the juniors adventures together and him being a great teacher and a junior being ducklings

🔒❤️ Joy In the Midst of These Things Series by Glitterbombshell (T/G, 53k, WangXian, Angst with Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Teacher WWX, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff) Has 2 podfics available

❤️ The One-Body Problem by metisket (T, 29k, LJY & WWX, LJY & LSZ, wangxian, possession, cohabitation, The One-Body Problem by SeaNoodle, Problem jednego ciała (podfik) by tehanu, [PODFIC] The One-Body Problem by PolynomialPandemic, [PODFIC] The One-Body Problem by Gwogobo, [Podcast] Juniors just wanna have fun by jellyfishfire, kisahawklin) Seeing the reblog, it occurs to me that The One-Body Problem also sorta fits & has a couple of podfics Mainly WWX & LJY, & LSZ is also a significant character

[Podfic] Grow by jellyfishfire (T, 1-1.5H, wangxian, post-canon, de-aging, character study)

Wearing Down Every Bone [Podfic] by Rionaa (E, 2-2.5hrs, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Time Loop, Temporary Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Case Fic, Curses, Pining, Getting Together, Time Travel, Night Hunts, Hurt wwx, Mystery, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Depression and Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Podfic Chaptered, Podfic Podfic Length: 2-2.5 Hours, Podfic Length: 45-60 Minutes) This the has a certain amount of juniors + wwx

Juniors' High Nighthunt by AirgiodSLV, irrationalpie, jennisaisquoi, minnapods (minnabird), PolynomialPandemic, semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona), takopods (takonomz) (G, 2k, 10-20mins, Junior Quartet-centric, Minor WangXian, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Comedy, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes, Podfic Collaboration, Humor, the juniors accidentally get high on a night hunt)

these two are very much "wwx and his relationships to various juniors" but not on adventures together, but hopefully will still work:

[Podfic] A Civil Combpaign by jellyfishfire (T, 2.5-3hrs, ZhuiLing, WangXian, Marriage Proposal, Teenage Drama, Family Bonding, and the Power of Combs as a courting gift, Podfic Length: 2.5-3 Hours)

[podfic] best friends forever by jellyfishfire (T, 1-1.5 hrs, LingYi, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Juniors shenanigans, Podfic Length: 1-1.5 Hours)

((not a podfic but) A Mother’s Love by FirefliesNLightningBugs (M, 170k, WangXian, XuanLi, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Mostly combo of the Untamed and MoDaoZuShi timelines, Unreliable Narrator, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Miscommunication, Family Feels, Found Family, PTSD, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Political Intrigue, Mystery, POV Multiple, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Strong Female Characters, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note, Good Brother In Law JZX, Genderbent WWX, Intersex WWX, not a/b/o, POV Original Character, Expanded Universe, Unplanned Pregnancy, Golden Core Reveal, WWX Has No Golden Core, Cultivation Sect Politics, Bisexual WWX, YLLZ WWX, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Pining WangXian, Parent-Child Relationship, Getting Together, Protective Yúnmèng Jiāng Sect, MXY Lives) wwx is a great teacher to junior ducklings, but it's oc Jiang juniors (tho the canon junior quartet make brief cameos as babies, cause it's a diverging au post sunshot )

[Podfic] 爱不释手; never let me go by argentumlupine (E, 6-7H, WangXian, Audio Format: Streaming, Audio Format: MP3, Case Fic, Blood and Injury, Demons, Body Horror, Mystery)

[Podfic of] To be of use by isweedan (Not Rated, 7-10H, LSZ & LWJ, Found Family, Accidental Baby Acquisition, (kinda), Father-Son Relationship, Missing Scene, Good Teacher LWJ, LSZ is an angel, LJY is the best of brats, Cloud Recesses, Seclusion Lite(TM), Everyone under 20 at Cloud Recesses worships Hanguang-jun, Fluff, Hanguang-jun is the coolest, Worldbuilding, this is not sad tho even though it's set in the time jump, the fluff-to-sads ratio is v high, Audio Format: MP3)

[Podfic] A Matter of Technicality by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona) (T, 2-2.5hrs, JL & JC & WWX, Post-Canon, JC & WWX Reconciliation, As Helped Along By The Junior Ensemble, Feat. Fairy As A Very Good Girl, Fluff and Humor, Family Feels, Some Minor Nefarious Plotting, It's For A Good Cause Though, The Technicalities Of Transmigration, Questionable Fantasy Inheritance Law, Podfic Length: 2-2.5 Hours, Audio Format: Streaming, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Download)

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12. Hey I was going thru all your wanxian recs and they are all so good and unique! I'm in the mood for a fic where Jiang Yangli and Lan wangji are betrothed, wwx just like canon becomes friends lwj and doesn't realise that he has fallen for him. He acts like he is very happy his 2 favorite people are getting married but also really sad about it not understanding why. I know its very specific but I'vent found anything even close to this concept on ao3. Hope you can help. Thank you💜 @auspiccake

Neatly Arranged by thunderwear (T, 45k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Angst with a Happy Ending, lwj’s mother is here but only briefly, RIP, Shenanigans, Fix-Itof sorts, Canonical Character Death, but not all, did i forget to tag pining, because this fic is like 90 percent pining, Hurt/Comfort)

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13. Hi! Hope you have a wonderful day! For the next ITMF, can I have fics where the Lan Clan is soft/lenient/have favoritism towards Wei Ying? Kinda like Cluster of Clouds by Nika_Raven_Celeste? It doesn't have to be time-traveling, can be set during their CR or Post-Canon.

Bonus points if other people can literally see the difference of treatment between wei ying and them lol

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 828k, WangXian, WIP, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Getting Together, Supportive LQR, Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It of Sorts, Supportive LXC, Canon Divergence, Inventor WWX, Possessive LWJ, Cultivation Sect Politics, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, Fluff and Smut, Burning of the Cloud Recesses, Fall of Lotus Pier, Angst, Sunshot Campaign Not JFM Friendly, split into parts, Part 1 complete, Part 2 complete, Original Character(s)) The Lan clan loves talisman genius!WWX, & someone even notes that LQR is biased towards him

I Have Arranged to Tie You to Me by xxxMiaHikarixxx (G, 76k, WIP, WangXian, Lan protective team, Time Travel, Past, LWJ oriented, Arranged Marriage, Boys In Love, Soulmates, Fix-It, Jiang siblings, not jiang parents friendly, Soft LWJ, Protective LWJ, Genius WWX)

🔒The Second Hand Unwinds by trulywicked (E, 64k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, WIP, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Time Travel Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Not Yunmeng Jiang Sect Friendly, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Not YZY Friendly, Time Travelling LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff, Minor Angst, Minor Character Death, JGS is his own warning, Wooing, LWJ is romantic af, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Gusu Lan Sect, Supportive LXC, Good Uncle LQR, WWX Protection Squad)

Just Say Yes series by edenwolfie (M, 338k, wangxian, canon divergence, matchmaking, pining, cloud recesses study arc, getting together, fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, everyone lives au)

in the shadow of moonlit flowers by Reverie (cl410) (T, 56k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, cloud recesses, NHS & LWJ friendship, developing relationship, LWJ pov, minor injuries, autistic LWJ, implied/referenced child abuse, aka YZY warning, genius WWX, light angst, hurt/comfort, WWX protection squad)

Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 283k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious)

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14. 👋🏼 Hiii

Itmf

A) Fics where Wei Ying has real siblings , they can be blood related or adopted Excluding jiang cheng and Yanli or any of the characters from the Canon. What I am looking for is OCs . And no transmigration

B) Fics where Wei Ying is blood related to the Jiangs not as son or anything but as cousin or distant relative or so . [If u can find something where the jiangs knows of this and are thus treat him nicely then plz

We Meet at the Thousandth Step by Admiranda, Rynne (T, 316k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, CSSR & WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Different First Meeting, Night Hunts, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Plot, Romance, Drama, Fluff, Strangers to married, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Everyone Lives, Developing Relationship, Minor Violence, Case Fic, Mystery, Flirting, WWX's Canon-Typical Flower Flirting, Arson, There Was Only One Bed, Getting Together, First Kiss, Meeting the Parents, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, WWX Is a Good Big Brother, New Relationship Bliss, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Blood and Injury, Yiling siblings, Married WangXian, Honeymoon, Wangxian's Baby Fever) gives Wei Ying a sister who features heavily in later chapters

🔒Through the Storm by marhikit (T, 33k, WangXian, WX/OMC, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence, Not Madam Yu Friendly, Not Jiang Family Friendly, WWX gets big siblings that love and adore him, JZX ends up with someone different, No Golden Core Transfer, Creepy JGS, JZX & WWX Friendship, WWX in a different sect) gives Wei Ying an adopted brother and sister.

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15. Hi! Im in the mood for a fic with animal transformation (for either Wei Wuxian or Lan Wangji)like full on turn into an animal, any animal works- cat, bunny, fox etc. and the other having to take care of them until they find out how to turn the other back into a human

the soft animal of your body by sysrae (T, 15k, WangXian, modern cultivation, Golden Core Reveal, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Animal Transformation, Shapeshifting, Getting Together, Confessions)

quarantine required by lazulisong (G, 1k, WangXian, cat fic, Animal Transformation)

Tales From Bunny Mountain by telarna (G, 5k, wangxian, JL/LSZ, JL&WWX, so many bunnies, lan buns, Tales From Bunny Mountain [Podfic] by esbielle)

🔒 and in the spring i shed my skin by wvlfqveen (T, 11k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Professors, Shapeshifter LWJ, Not Quite Necromancer WWX, Mutual Pining, WWX being an oblivious idiot, Fluff, Love Confessions, yunmeng trio, Family Feels, get JC therapy 2020, Kissing)

🔒💖 blue-ribbon bunny by cicer (G, 15k, wangxian, modern, shapeshifting, supernatural elements, fluff & humor)

in the arms of the angel by ScarlettStorm (E, 37k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Fox WWX, animal rescuer LWJ, Minor pining, major shenanigans, Comedy, Smut, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Adhd WWX, the mortifying ordeal of getting your head stuck in a peanut butter jar, and getting subsequently rescued by your crush, there were in fact two beds, but LWJ knows what he's about, Blowjobs, Frottage, switch rights, Scent Kink, mildly telepathic sex, courtship via kittens)

Playing Possum by DizziDreams (T, 1k, WangXian, Modern AU, Crack, animal shifter wwx, sometimes meeting the love of your life looks like a naked man playing dead in your laundry room) should work but the human caring for the animal doesn't realize the animal has shifted from human in these.

Kitty-cat by canis_lupus (E, 98k, WangXian, WIP, Cat WWX, Modern with Magic, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, dom LWJ, Sub WWX, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Jiang Family Dynamics, Abusive Jiang Family, POV Multiple, WWX Has ADHD, Autistic LWJ, Masturbation)

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16. Hello, itmf works where:

A) No sunshot campaign.

B) -Wei Ying reaches immortality young

-Wei Ying loses/fractures his core due to Zidian

In both cases he tries to hide it

Thank you !

A) A Life Without Regrets by naqaashi (M, 74k, wangxian, JFM & WWX, JC & WWX, WRH & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, LWJ & NHS, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, musical cultivation, Slow Burn, Pining, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Murder Husbands, PTSD, BAMF WWX, Demonic Cultivation, POV WWX, Cultivation Sect Politics, Worldbuilding, No Yīn Iron, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Artist WWX, Musician WWX, Night Hunts, Fate & Destiny, Bad Parent JFM & YZY, Golden Core, Cultivation Theory, Sentient Burial Mounds, Father-Son Relationship, Dysfunctional Family, Grief/Mourning, Parent-Child Relationship, Angry WWX, Pining WWX, WWX is Not Okay, No Golden Core Transfer, BAMF LWJ, Pining LWJ, POV LWJ, Angry LWJ, One-Braincell Wangxian, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, WIP) I apologize for not quite understanding what they're requesting but if they're looking for both no war AND Wei Ying becoming immortal at a young age, then I recommend A Life Without Regrets

B) 💖🔒love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it’s gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn’t begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27) (link in #8) If they're looking for either A or B, I'd suggest love, in fire and blood for B. Sorry again for my confusion!

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17. Itmf some pwp fem!wangxian

give me one good honest kiss by occultings (microcomets) (E, 25k, Female wangxian, Rule 63, Femslash, Cisswap, Practice Kissing, Pining while fucking, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sleepovers, Misunderstandings, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Strap-Ons, Semi-Public Sex, Lesbian Sex, lwj's canonical tantrum biting, the inherent homooticism of high school orchestra, the emotional catharsis of lesbians beating the shit out of straight men, College/University)

good friends by plonk (Not Rated, 11k, Female WangXian, WangXianJue, Modern AU, Gender Changes, A/B/O Dynamics)

Happy for Now by ScarlettStorm (E, 79k, Female WangXian, Rule 63, Femslash, Cisswap, Practice Kissing, Pining while fucking, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sleepovers, Misunderstandings, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Strap-Ons, Semi-Public Sex, Lesbian Sex, lwj's canonical tantrum biting, the inherent homoeroticism of high school orchestra, the emotional catharsis of lesbians beating the shit out of straight men, College/University)

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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

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quackquackcey · 3 months ago

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𖤓 made of you ☾

Rated E | sterek | 6.2k | playlist! ♫

✨ another gift fic for @renmackree, you sweet amazing human 🥰 ✨ hurt/comfort, mutual pining, soft sterek 💕 ✨ complete w/ a 4 song playlist! ♫

Summary:

Stiles struggles with the aftermath of the events in season 5, but when everyone forgets him after he's taken by the Ghost Riders, Derek calls his name. Why is it that even in the darkness, Derek always sees him? And why is it that despite Derek's intentions to stay away, he can't help but stay by Stiles' side? 𖤓☾ --- "You're all I've wanted," he breathed more than spoke, the confession cracking his voice, "for a long, long time."

Read here on AO3!!

#sterek #sterek fic #sterek fanfic #derek x stiles #teen wolf #derek/stiles #eternal sterek #sterek is eternal #sterek fanfiction #derek hale #stiles stilinski #omf writes #cey writes #fic: made of you

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autisticlancemcclain · 11 months ago

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wip wednesday 24

gonna keep the streak this time!!

links for you all...

aegis au: 1 2

batb au: 1 2 3 4 5

flower crown au: 1 2

lost at sea au: 1 2

the loneliest series: 1 2 3 4

the neighbour au: 1 2

the applebees universe: 1 2 3

orphan au: 1 2 3

JTTCOTE au: 1

#full poll today!!!#wip wednesday #wip wednesday poll #poll #also please vote for aegis. i want to post aegis so so bad

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redahlia-writes · 2 years ago

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be still my foolish heart. | joel miller

Abstract: He still felt unsure, unsteady, both wanting to keep her at arm’s length and welcoming her back in his life like before, drown in the comfort he’d found in her presence year after year since they were kids. She’d tried to reassure him, and he knew she was right–you could not live in the world they did and not change. But he remembered her in pigtails on the first day of school, he remembered her prom dress being awfully 80s, and he remembered the first time he’d seen her with Sarah–gentle voiced and wide eyed, holding her as if she might shatter should she breathe a little too hard.

Words: 9.7k

Content: f!reader (called “sugar” as a nickname, described as shorter than joel); childhood friends to lovers, mentions of child’s death, grief, mentions of attempted suicide, PTDS, panic attacks, hurt/comfort, this was supposed to be about joel and sugar but there’s a lot of joel/ellie too. a lot, idiots in love, slow(ish) burn, ellie being a loving little shit, canon divergence (they get to jackson and don’t leave but i never explain why), some very minor spoilers for tlou2, purple prose, unedited

A/N: loosely inspired by almost (sweet music) by hozier; the song they listen to is night and day and can be found in ella fitzgerald sings the cole porter song book (1956).

also on AO3 - masterlist

reblogs and feedback are always greatly appreciated. you can send it here, too

Ellie had never seen a deer in headlights, only saw pictures of the creatures and heard the expression every now and then from older people.

She imagined the way Joel looked in that moment was what they meant.

Frozen still, eyes wide and lips parted, even holding his breath if the lack of condensation by his face was any indicator, Joel stood next to his brother with his back straight, the only indication he hadn’t suddenly turned into a piece of rock the light twitch in his right hand.

There’s someone you should see, Tommy had told him, half a day after they’d gotten to Jackson–they’d had time to eat and leave the few stuff they still had in the house, and right before she could hit the shower Tommy had walked in. Not keen on the idea of being left alone, Ellie had followed the Millers quietly. Joel had even teased her about it.

“Who’s the quiet one now?” she’d huffed at Joel’s sudden immobility. Tommy had looked at her with that half grin that she imagined Joel must’ve had, too, at some point, and then lifted his arm to wave a hand in the direction of a small group by the school. A woman pulled her head up, a green woolen hat low on her brow, and then waved back, a smile visible even from there. “Anyone you know?” she asked, looking back at Joel.

He still did not bat an eye.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” she exclaimed, extricating herself from the rest of the group with a quick apology. “Joel Miller,” she called, the name rolling with a certain familiarity out of her mouth as she approached them, brushing some snow from her coat.

“Sugar?” the word came out strangled–his mouth was dry, the ground unstable beneath him. Suddenly, he wasn’t 56 anymore but 16 years old, and around him a shitty classroom that could do with some fixing, or an all too familiar living room, a cluttered bedroom with dark walls–and the smile he was offered had not changed a bit.

“Sugar?” Ellie echoed, a little baffled. Her eyes darted towards the girl, a glint of curiosity.

“Only one who still called me that after we left high-school,” the woman chuckled, stepping forward with her arms open. “Come on, c’mere–it’s been too long.”

Joel hesitated–when was the last time he’d hugged someone? Maybe Tess, though he could not remember when, but that had always been more a clinging-to-each-other type of thing. A hug, that was different, and he felt stuck on the spot all over again.

Before he could overthink it too much, Ellie pushed him forward, making him grunt in protest as he almost fell into the woman’s embrace–he wrapped his arms around her, the movement somewhat foreign, and slowly leaned into it. Despite the cold and snow, she was warm underneath all the layers of clothing she donned, and smelled of freshly cut grass. It reminded him of another time, and if he closed his eyes he could almost see it. He exhaled.

“You stink, Miller–how long have you been out there?” she laughed softly, one hand cupping the back of his head, same way she used to when they were younger. He remembered dancing.

“A while,” he admitted, unable to argue with that, easing into the embrace furthermore. “Sorry,” he added, and she patted his shoulder gently, another delicate chuckle that rang crystalline to his ears.

“I’ve had it worse, it’s alright,” she murmured, chin hooked over his shoulder–he could feel her straining to stand on her tiptoes, slightly unbalanced, and lowered himself against her, face buried in the curve of her neck wrapped by a soft scarf that matched the hat. She sighed softly at the movement, her fingertips scratching across his scalp. “God, it’s good to see you.”

“You, too,” voice slightly muffled and blind to the world, Joel was able to admit that. Maybe it was nostalgia, making him forget everything else for a few moments as he lingered in the peacefulness of that familiar touch, or maybe it was exhaustion, blurring the edges between who he used to be and who he was now.

“I’m so sorry, Joel,” she whispered then, and it felt like ice through his veins. He pulled back slightly, the urge to run away making his limbs tremble–but she kept him caged in, the arm around his shoulders stronger than he remembered (was he tired? Was he too out of it?), and the hand that had brushed his hair falling to his cheek, brushing away some of the grime he’d grown used to by then.

But it was her gaze that kept him rooted, though, that softness he didn’t think could still exist in the world they lived in, and emotions he had almost forgotten, ignoring them each time they presented themselves–it’d be too risky to feel them, too easy to surrender to it again: sorrow, grief. It cut his breath all over again.

“Tommy told me,” she kept her voice low, her touch gentle, rubbing her thumb across his uneven beard. The bustling in the air was foreign after so many months of quiet, and he wasn’t sure which one made his body ache–the current life, or the past death.

“Of course he did,” he scoffed, and her expression shifted, a reprimand in her gaze that used to make him laugh when they were younger, and furthermore when she grew into that same expression, year after year of standing together.

“Joel,” she chided, still soft-voiced, still attempting to comfort him through that small motion on his face. He remembered that touch and kind, encouraging words with a baby in his arms; he remembered his name called out through laughter–hers, his daughter’s; he remembered winters and summers and years before that. He closed his eyes, a furrow in his brow.

“No, of course he did,” he exhaled, shaking his head slightly. “Sorry, it’s just–she really liked you, you know?” his eyes remained closed, trying to push back the pressure building behind his eyelids, trying to swallow the knot in his throat.

“I know,” he felt her nod, press herself closer just as her name was called from behind them. When he looked up at her again, her eyes were shimmering, that vulnerability he hadn’t had the courage to show again after the ringing in his right ear had stopped. “I’m sorry,” she repeated, bringing her other hand to his face, too, holding him like that. He nodded, afraid that if he spoke right away he would crumble.

All it had taken was a gentler touch, and he was ready to fall apart.

“You oughta go–looks like you’re needed,” he cleared his throat, the damn knot clinging to his larynx seemingly impossible to push away. She looked over her shoulder, the group she was with before waving her over, and sighed before turning back towards him.

They still hadn’t let go of each other, and neither seemed willing to make the first move.

“I’m expecting you all for dinner,” she spoke a little louder then, turning her head as if to look past Joel’s shoulder but without moving her gaze from him. “Alright, Tommy?”

“Yes, ma’am,” the younger Miller called, his eyes returning to the pair after having wandered elsewhere for the duration of their reunion–the most privacy that could be given in that context. Ellie hadn’t been as subtle, her head tilted and a curious look in her eyes at the sudden burst of emotion that seemed to roll off Joel’s back. It was astounding.

In the end, she was the first to depart, a kiss to Joel’s cheek that seemed to melt away what little tension was left in him. He stumbled back as she walked towards the group, one last look over her shoulder that ended up being directed towards Ellie, a quick smile and small wave she returned, somewhat unsure.

“I felt the same way,” Tommy rested his hand on his brother’s shoulder, as if to shake him from the haze that seemed to have permeated him thoroughly.

“She been here long?” he was frowning again, forcing his gaze away from the back of her head to look at Tommy. The younger Miller nodded a couple of times.

“Even before I got here,” he said, slowly beginning to lead him away, Joel seemingly rooted to the spot once more. “You know Sugar, she’s always been a step ahead of us,” he added, and in his murmur there was a fond smile.

“Sugar?” Ellie repeated, her eyebrows arched with her returned bafflement.

“Just a stupid nickname,” Joel muttered, shaking himself off in a way that seemed more a recoil–he turned and cleared his throat. “Old nickname. Don’t even know who came up with it in school. It stuck.”

“For you it stuck,” Tommy was smiling, clearly amused. They seemed so different, Ellie thought. Had they always been like that? She wondered if she could ask her. “Pure irony, really,” Tommy continued, addressing her. “She always fought people–a real spitfire.”

“You only say that because you got slapped,” Ellie’s eyebrows arched furthermore at Joel’s scoff, a tint of amusement in his words.

“And you,” the younger Miller retorted, making Ellie’s lips part.

“Oh, I like her,” she exclaimed, turning to look at her–she was back at work, the scarf now covering the lower part of her face, though she could still hear her laughter ring clear.

A week later, they stood in her living room.

Though they’d met again around town after that first day, it had taken both Joel and Ellie a moment to settle in. The house felt odd for them both–Ellie having never had one, Joel not remembering his old one. It helped that she lived just around the corner, and in the morning he’d see her walk by to head towards the center.

Slowly, he found a routine, found a way to make himself useful, and leaned into it. Ellie was wilder, refusing to go to school and spending most of her time in her bedroom, Walkman constantly on as she went through pages and pages of old diaries, old books.

“Wanna come to this thing with me?” was the only thing he asked her that night–they threaded carefully around each other, murmured confessions before he sent her to bed at night (the only thing he was firm with, leaving her her space otherwise). It wasn’t time that did it, Ellie’s head resting on his shoulder as she fiddled with the new record he’d found for her. When I got bit in the mall I wasn’t on my own, Riley’s name bitter on her tongue.

“What thing?” Joel’s hair was slicked back, a new shirt Tommy had gotten for him along with his jacket. He actually looked put together, which was the reason why Ellie sat up quickly. “Are you going to Sugar’s?”

“Stop calling her that,” he muttered, though it was the only way he ever referred her as–old habits, he thought. “Yeah–Tommy and Maria are gonna be there too, we’re all adults so if–”

“Let’s go,” she hopped up.

And so they were in her living room, scarcely decorated but recognisable as hers nonetheless, and Ellie walked around the place with a curious gaze, hands fidgeting at her sides.

“How did you convince her to come here?” Maria asked quietly, as the three of them waited for the lady of the house–she had categorically refused any help in the kitchen, ordering them to wait by the set table. Old habits, Joel thought again.

“I didn’t,” he shrugged, watching the kid linger at a picture set in a cracked frame, the dance of her fingers ceasing for just a moment. “I think she likes her–probably has to do with the slapping stories.”

“Definitely has to do with the slapping stories,” Tommy chuckled, taking a sip of his drink.

“You know I can hear you, right?” Ellie asked, without turning to look at them. “Actually–him I can understand,” Joel scowled at Ellie’s remark while she pointed at him, spinning around to face the three of them. “But why did she hit you?” Maria chuckled at that, while Tommy almost choked on his drink and his face burned a brighter shade of red.

“Ah, well, I–” he cleared his throat–it was another time, he thought. So many years before. “I–kind of made a move on her. And then told her I was gonna join the army,” he rubbed his jaw, some sort of nervous twitch as he glanced in a grinning Maria’s direction. “Still not sure which one pissed her off more.”

“The army,” she said, coming into the living room while holding a fuming pot she was quick to place on the table. Joel’s posture changed, a slight shift towards her by the head of the table and his head twisting so that his gaze would be on her, the ghost of a smile across his lips. “If one of you was going to be a self-sacrificing idiot and leave, I expected that to be Joel.”

“You shipped yourself off to college,” Tommy protested as they sat down–Joel remained next to her on left, Ellie next to him (she didn’t like being on his deaf side, but she preferred it to sitting away), Tommy and Maria on the other side.

“Definitely not the same thing,” she wrinkled her nose in a half-grimace, plating up the food–whatever it was, Ellie couldn’t remember the last time she’d smelled something so good, her stomach already grumbling. Tommy scoffed lightly, passing on the plates.

“Wait, you made a move? If anything I thought–” before Ellie could finish the sentence, Joel pinched her leg, making her yelp and turn to him wide-eyed. “What the hell was that for?”

“Manners,” he muttered–at the corner of his eye, the woman tried to fight off a smile, setting the last plate in front of him. “Eat your food.”

She looked at the older Miller and the kid throughout the dinner and the chats, the scowls and grins, his reprimands and her sharp tongue. It was a familiar scene, late dinners stolen in a living room she once knew like it was her own.

The younger brother leaving early on was familiar, too, Maria tiring easily from the pregnancy and Tommy refusing to leave her side for longer than necessary–her heart ached at the thought of Tommy Miller having grown up, until it functioned as a reminder that growing up in their world now meant surviving. It was easier to think of it like that.

“Just means you’re gonna have to come back for dessert,” she said as Maria hugged her, winking in Tommy’s direction, too.

“We should get going, too,” Joel cleared his throat once it was just the three of them, heading for the rack where his and Ellie’s jacket hung. She had the fleeting thought that he was trying to avoid being alone with her–though they weren’t really alone–as he had for the whole week. A quick greeting and then away, never lingering too much around her. She figured it was because he was still settling in–hoped that was the reason, in spite of the years gone by.

“But I want dessert!” the girl protested, still sat at the table (by herself).

“Ellie,” he sighed heavily, not turning to look at her as picked up her coat.

“Joel,” she retorted in the same tone, unmoving. The woman looked between the two of them with an eyebrow arched, fighting the smile off of her lips the moment Joel sighed again, head falling forward. It wasn’t needed, but Ellie took it a step further, softening her voice for a, “Please?”

Joel Miller had always had a hard time saying no to his daughter. Guess things hadn’t changed that much.

“If we’re bothering–” he started, his gaze flicking from Ellie to her.

“Oh, quit that, Miller,” she scoffed, waving her hand dismissively. “Ellie, grab your plate, come,” Joel remained frozen for a moment as the girl beamed, standing with the plate in her hands and quickly following her towards the kitchen. A beat, and then he went after them, bringing with him the rest of the dirty dishes they’d left behind.

“What is that?” Ellie had stopped abruptly at the entrance of the kitchen, eyes wide, forcing Joel to walk around her at the last moment, stumbling towards the woman who was placing a tray onto the counter. He lingered a moment, his gaze following the twisted pattern made of golden dough, and once more he felt transported back ages in time.

“My mama’s apple pie,” she said gently, a smile grazing her face–there was a bitterness to it, too, with the realization that that was probably the first time Ellie saw one outside of pictures. “We produce the flour ourselves, and have the dogs check it for possible contamination, so it’s safe,” Joel could almost see the hope in her eyes in trying to reassure the kid, grabbing the knife and offering it to her by the handle. “Wanna have a go?”

Ellie’s eyes shimmered with excitement as she took the sharp knife, getting closer to her–she leaned with one arm on the counter, while with the other hand she showed her where to start, mimicking the movement of cutting down towards the crust. As he placed the dirty dishes in the sink, Joel inhaled deeply, the perfume coming out of the still warm filling in fumes.

“Jesus,” he muttered with a soft groan, turning around quickly. Ellie stilled, her gaze flickering from where she held the knife up to him, then back to the grinning woman who was looking at him, too. “Sorry.”

“You know, your–” she stopped herself, clearing her throat before straightening her back. “Joel would always know when we made this at my place. I don’t know how but he did–never failed to show up when my mama got one in the oven.”

“Sixth sense,” Joel chuckled, getting closer as well, his mouth already watering. “Smells just like then,” he mumbled, shifting on the spot when she bumped her hip against him, her smile widening. “You know, Sarah wanted to call you to bring it over, before–” he cut himself off.

Ellie shuffled on the spot, the knife in her hand a sudden weight she didn’t like–Joel had mentioned just in passing Sarah to her, admitting first and foremost to her existence, half-joking over their differences. But whenever he did his eyes would go unfocused, gaze dropping to the broken watch.

She watched as the woman pressed herself slightly closer, hand brushing the back of Joel’s, right up to the cracked watch before she even looked up, the movement seemingly enough to draw Joel’s attention towards her; she watched as the man cleared his throat, right hand twitching before he exhaled, pulling back as if in afterthought, reaching for the cupboard; she watched Sugar’s head drop slightly, and then straighten again with a forced smile in her direction. Ellie returned it tentatively.

“Alright, kiddo–it’s best when it’s warm,” she encouraged, taking the knife from her as Joel returned with clean plates. She deposited the slice on one, pushing it in Ellie’s direction. “Too bad we haven’t got any ice cream, tastes even better with that.”

“Can’t miss what I never tried, right?” Ellie shrugged, that crooked smile still on. “Thanks,” she added then, stepping away, back towards the living room. She’d started to learn when others needed space.

“Joel,” his name whispered was like a bucket of ice water thrown in his face, a shuddering breath leaving him when he turned to look at her. Her head was slightly tilted, a soft gaze that tethered on mournful. Joel didn’t want pity. He wanted so much, but not pity.

“Can’t,” he said through gritted teeth. Her hand reached for him again, slower, fingers brushing his knuckles as they whitened with the clench of his fists above the counter. “Sugar, I can’t,” he repeated, looking down. She pressed her palm over the back of his hand, a firm knead to unfurl his fingers from where they pushed into his own palm, blunt nails still leaving their mark. He shook his head.

“It’s just me,” she kept her voice low, soft.

Tommy had told her a lot–the whole of it, really. Sarah’s death. Joel’s attempt. The shift in him–the shift in them both, but mostly Joel. The anger. The bad, awful things they’d done. The anger, the only thing Joel seemed to have felt for the past 20 years.

It nearly broke her heart.

“I know,” his eyes flickered towards the door leading to the living room, Ellie’s head peeking from behind the backrest of the armchair. “You haven’t changed one bit, but I–”

“That’s not true,” she shook her head, scooting closer. “I have. Everybody has. We had to,” curling her fingers around his hand, she slowly picked it up, bringing it closer to her. There were calluses on her fingers he didn’t remember from the years before, lines across her face he thought were a trick of the light. “You think you lost your humanity when Sarah died, but that’s not true,” she tilted her head towards the living room, gaze flickering to Ellie, the scrape of the fork against the plate the only sound coming from her. “She’s proof of that. You must see that.”

“She was a job,” his hand felt cold in hers, fingers twitching slightly. Each time, she squeezed it softly, bringing it closer to her stomach. He could feel her warmth even like that.

“She was,” she nodded in agreement, shifting so she could meet his gaze. “And now?”

“It’s complicated,” he returned, and a bittersweet smile grazed her lips.

“You always saw things as more complicated than they actually were,” she let go of him, and Joel clenched his hand suspended mid-air in her direction, while she turned towards the counter, taking the knife up again to cut two more slices of pie and plate them. “Perhaps you’re not exactly your old self, but you’re still almost you, no matter what you tell yourself, Joel,” she pushed one of the plates in his direction, glancing at him once more. “Eat up.”

Joel had a hard time breathing. It happened less frequently–it had been weeks since his last episode, he’d almost forgotten about it–but it still did, every now and then. He hated it.

He wasn’t sure what triggered it: he wasn’t doing anything specific, was just thinking about how to fix the creaky step that led up and down his patio, when all of a sudden he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe and his chest ached, right in the middle, like a weight trying to pin him down against the ground–but the ground didn’t feel stable, and he had to lean against the wall for support while everything spun around him.

Worst of all was the ringing in his ears. He’d gotten used to the muffled sounds in his right ear, and the sudden high pitched noise made him dizzy, made his vision waiver, made him unable to exhale. The next breath scratched at his throat, like a badly chewed bite refusing to go down, no matter how many times he tried to swallow.

“Dad?” he gasped, the town suddenly in front of him again. The edges were still blurred, but right in front of him stood Ellie–a few steps behind, Sugar had her head tilted, a curious gaze in her eyes.

“What?” his voice rang still distant, somehow, and he shook his head, trying to clear the clouds away.

“I said are you alright?” Ellie frowned, getting a step closer. “Joel, are you going deaf in both ears?” she asked, and that melted away the tension in Joel’s shoulders with a sigh.

“Very funny,” he muttered, pushing himself off from the school wall. “I just got distracted, is all. You ready?” he cleared his throat, glancing briefly in the woman’s direction.

“You know you don’t have to come get me every day, right?” Ellie mumbled, moving at his side. “It’s not like I can run away,” Joel gave her a look–eyebrows arched, head slightly tilted, that same expression he used when Tommy said something dumb. Ellie could almost hear it.

You ran away from FEDRA and sneaked into a sealed mall. I wouldn’t put it past you.

Maybe he had a point.

“Bye, Ms. Sugar!” a girl called from behind them, dark hair pulled away from her freckled face. “Ellie, you coming?” she waited, expectantly. Ellie turned towards Joel, whose face had shifted into a simil-scowl.

“So that’s what you meant, huh?” he crossed his arms, to which Ellie responded with a lopsided grin, looking at him expectantly, the mute question clear in her eyes. Can I? “Wait, Ms. Sugar?” he turned to look at the woman who still stood there, and she snorted.

“Ask Ellie about it,” she retorted, clearly amused by the guilty look creeping across the girl’s face. “She’ll be right there, Dina!” she called out then, a little louder.

“I didn’t mean to, okay?” Ellie protested, with a small kick to the melting snow in front of her. “You call her that all the time–it just came out of my mouth,” she argued then, pointing at Joel.

“Are you blaming me for calling your teacher with a nickname?” he returned, baffled.

“Yes,” Ellie nodded. Behind Ellie, he saw her stifle a giggle, quick to lower her head and cover her mouth with a hand. The girl looked up at him still, eyes softening in a pleading motion. “Can I go?”

“Sure,” he sighed–the word was barely out of his mouth before Ellie was already darting away, running towards her smiling friend. “I’m sorry,” he said then, turning to her.

“It’s alright, Joel,” clearly amused, she shook her head and took a step closer to him, hands dropped at her sides. “Besides, I think only Dina heard her. Maybe Cat, too, but it’s no big deal,” she shrugged, standing right in front of him now. Joel tightened his grip around Ellie’s bag strap, lowering his gaze to her.

“She good?” he asked, a little quieter. “This Dina, she–”

“Yes, she’s a good kid,” she said with a smile and a small nod, tilting her head slightly. “You can rest easy, Mr. Miller,” at that, Joel snorted, rolling his eyes.

“Mr. Miller,” he mocked, to which her smile widened. “Haven’t been called that since I had to meet with Sarah’s teachers,” as soon as the words were out of his mouth, his expression fell slightly, gaze unfocused. He thought he was about to stop breathing again, when she placed her hand on his upper arm, pressing gently against the jacket sleeve.

“Joel,” with a whisper of his name, he snapped his eyes back up towards her–a worried crease crossed her forehead, knitting her brows closer. “What is it?”

She knew what it was. She’d seen it, in people younger and older than him; she’d felt it on her own skin, clawing at her throat in a desperate attempt to clear her airways. Hers had never been as immobile as Joel’s. She kicked and screamed and cried until she was spent and aching all over.

“Just–” he clicked his tongue and thought of lying.

He still felt unsure, unsteady, both wanting to keep her at arm’s length and welcoming her back in his life like before, drown in the comfort he’d found in her presence year after year since they were kids. She’d tried to reassure him, and he knew she was right–you could not live in the world they did and not change. But he remembered her in pigtails on the first day of school, he remembered her prom dress being awfully 80s, and he remembered the first time he’d seen her with Sarah–gentle voiced and wide eyed, holding her as if she might shatter should she breathe a little too hard.

“It’s like starting all over again with her–not sure if I’m doing right or wrong whenever I make a decision,” he admitted then, voice low–she got closer, gaze softening. He wanted to lean into her all of a sudden, but clenched his fists instead, the strap of Ellie’s bag digging in his palm. “I can’t disappoint her, can’t–I can’t fail her, too.”

“You didn’t fail anyone, Joel,” he almost disagreed, but the look she gave him didn’t leave room for any argument. He snapped his mouth shut. “It’s odd, adjusting to this place–I didn’t sleep properly for a year, flinched at every noise. When Maria asked me if I wanted to teach I thought she’d lost her mind,” she scoffed, shaking her head lightly. “And then I had my first full night of sleep. The kids and parents started waving at me in the streets. I ate food that hadn't expired 10 years ago. It’s–give yourself some time to adjust, Miller. Both of you.”

Joel exhaled, tipping his head slightly back and looking up towards the sky–it was sunny, mercifully, the cold starting to become bearable. He felt her shuffle forward rather than see her, eyelids fluttering when she rested her hand over his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Ellie’s doing good,” she reassured then, smiling when he looked back at her. “She’s–a little wild, maybe, but she feels safe here. With you. She’ll be alright,” head tilted slightly to the side, the scarf wrapped around her neck slipped–he almost reached up to fix it for her. “So will you.”

“You always knew what to say, didn’t you?” he sighed, turning his head a little–he felt her hand move from his shoulder to his upper arm, warmth spreading wherever her touch lingered. He leaned into it.

“Not really, most of the time I winged it,” she shrugged, and his smile returned, although tentative, while shaking his head. “How’d you think I made it through college?”

“Brains, Sugar,” without thinking too much about it, he reached up and pinched her chin, gently tilting her head back a little. “You’ve always had more brains than us combined. I think we both should’ve listened to you more.”

“Took you long enough to admit that,” she grinned, following the curve of his arm down to where his hand still brushed her face. She brushed her fingertips along the back of his hand, lingering at his knuckles. “It hurt to say it out loud, didn’t it?” he chuckled, shaking his head.

“No, actually. I’m quite alright,” her eyebrows arched, wrapping her fingers around his hand for balance before reaching for his forehead with her other one. Joel laughed then, taking one small step back to balance them both, eyes crinkling at the touch. “What are you doing?”

“Checking if you have a fever,” she replied, nonchalantly, shifting her hand over his temple, over his cheek. “God forbid this affects you physically,” she added in a mock whisper, unable to hide the amusement in her words. Still laughing, Joel let go of Ellie’s bag to reach up and grab her other hand.

“Alright, alright,” he pulled his head slightly back, holding their joined hands between them–she’d tipped forward, unbalanced, and he held her upright, looking back down towards her grinning face. “You’ve made your point. Thank you.”

“Good,” she chuckled. They remained like that a moment longer, simply looking at each other, before she cleared her throat and glanced quickly over her shoulder. “I should go. Gotta fix up the classroom or else Hell might just break loose tomorrow.”

“Right,” he let go of her, his palms tingling still. “Well, I–thank you, Sugar. I mean it.”

“I know you do,” expression softened again, she stepped back–they had barely realized how close they were. Joel missed it right away. “I’ll see ya, Miller.”

“Sure,” he murmured in return, one of the hands he’d kept lifted doing a half-wave as she turned around. He kept it up, gaze lingering on her back until she’d vanished back into the building.

“Damn,” he whipped around with his eyes wide, gaze immediately falling to Ellie at his side.

“What are you doing here?” he muttered, a quick look over his shoulder and then past Ellie’s head. “Language,” he added right away, making her snort.

“Didn’t know you could laugh,” she retorted, her eyebrows arched.

“That's bullshit, you’ve heard me before,” he frowned, and Ellie’s grin widened.

“Language,” she mocked him, making Joel scowl. “Sure I did, but it wasn’t like this.”

“Like what?” still frowning, he watched her shrug and point vaguely at him.

“This,” she repeated, then shrugged and grabbed her bag from the ground in front of him. “Anyways, I came back to get this. Bye.”

“Ellie!” he protested, though she was already skipping away. “Like what?”

Winter passed, and the first glimpses of Spring came to Jackson in the shape of flowers and fruit, an unfrozen ground giving them the first rewards. Ellie would spend more days outside with her friends, but every now and then she’d hang back with him, sitting on the porch while he tried to teach her how to play guitar.

“Now try the next one,” he nodded, after a while she’d been repeating the same three notes, a small melody she’d been practicing.

“I can’t do the next one,” she protested, keeping at it. Joel began to argue, but a movement at the corner of his eye made him turn around–with his good ear towards Ellie, he didn’t hear the woman’s steps until she was in his peripheral vision. He followed her with his gaze, head turning as she went–her hands were occupied by a large box, and when she noticed them she just smiled, but didn’t stop. “No, Ellie, don’t say that. You’re doing great. You can do it.”

“What?” he cleared his throat, snapping his head back around towards the kid. She was scowling, arms crossed over the guitar as he stared at him. “You are doing good. Go to the next one,” at that she rolled her eyes, lips parting with a scoff. “What?” he repeated.

“Will you quit being a stubborn ass?” Ellie groaned, lowering the guitar and leaning back into the seat. Joel’s eyebrows arched high, disbelief painted across his face.

“Watch your mouth, kid,” she scoffed again, tapping across the wood.

“Yeah, yeah,” she practically brushed him off. “But will you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Joel mimicked her, leaning back against the backrest and crossing his arms, his head twisting ever so slightly towards where he was looking before, towards her. A groan escaped her.

“Oh, please, you know perfectly well,” Joel frowned now, watching as Ellie pointed her finger in the woman’s direction–she was too far to see them, or hear them, but still Joel tapped against her extended hand. “You like her,” the girl said, bringing her hand back towards her chest. It was Joel’s turn to scoff.

“Yeah, I like her–we’ve been friends since we were kids,” he shrugged, then folded his arms across his chest once more. Ellie rolled her eyes again.

“No, I mean you like like her. Like you’re in love with her,” Joel snorted, shaking his head.

“What would you know about that?” despite the levity in Ellie’s tone, her face darkened for a moment–it had been a while since he’d seen that look in her eyes, and a pang of guilt shot through him right away. He shifted in his seat.

“I have eyes,” Ellie muttered, placing the guitar down to curl up in the chair, legs up to her chest and arms crossed. “Pretty sure the whole of Jackson knows. It’s obvious.”

“Ellie, we’ve known each other ages,” Joel sighed, leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees. “If I had a problem I’d go to her, and if she had a problem she’d come to me. We’ve been there for each other during–” he cleared his throat, lowering his gaze, “most of the worst times of our lives.”

“And you’ve never–” she trailed off.

“No,” he shook his head with a light smile.

“Not even once?” again he shook his head. “Seriously?”

“Tommy had a crush on her,” he shrugged, and she straightened her back.

“So you thought about it, then,” she exclaimed. Joel dropped his head slightly with a sigh.

“I was a teenager once, you know,” she arched her brows. “She was nice, and she was my friend, and she was real pretty–but there are things that are more important than a crush.”

Ellie was quiet for a moment, leaning back down, her fingers tapping up and down her shins as she lowered her gaze, eyebrows pinched together.

“Did–did Sarah like her?” it had started to be easier, talking about her. While Joel still felt the hurt of her absence, the anger and disbelief of his grief had turned into quiet acceptance. Ellie would rarely ask questions about her, but he found it helped.

“She loved her,” he nodded, easing back into the chair. “There weren’t a lot of women in Sarah’s life, but she was there, especially when she needed it the most. And she did love Sarah back–so much,” a fond smile caught on his mouth.

“Yeah, I figured,” Ellie mumbled, tilting her head a little. “It’s her, isn’t it? In the picture with the cracked frame at her place.”

Joel had tried to not linger too much on that picture–Sarah was young in it, 3 or 4 maybe, a full head of curls sticking out on every side. He remembered fighting each day to try and fix it, and her laughing at his feeble attempts. She taught him first–simple hairstyles he could do in the mornings before dropping her off to school and that would survive the day ahead–and then Sarah herself for when she did not want to leave it as it was.

She’d been there for him and Sarah all the time, and he wasn't sure he’d thanked her nearly enough for it. When her mom left, when she started teething, walking, talking, on her first day of school, and every year after that, leaving campus to be at each game, each recital. Clothes, music, movies, all of it–she was always there.

“Yes,” he nodded, slowly. Ellie hummed.

“You should fix that for her,” she said then, standing almost abruptly. “Might be nice. It might also give you an excuse,” she added with a shrug.

“I don’t need an excuse, Ellie,” he sighed, picking the guitar from her. The girl shrugged again, then headed inside. “You’re going somewhere?”

“Cat’s!” she called from inside. Joel strummed a few slow notes, waiting for her to come back out–she did so rushing, jacket half-thrown on. “I still think I’m right. Bye!”

She glanced up from her handiwork when a step echoed a little louder over the gravel, her face immediately splitting in a wide smile and Joel’s half-still stance in the low streetlight.

“Knitting on the porch? That’s new,” he grinned, resuming walking towards her.

“If my mother could see me now, right?” she retorted with a chuckle he matched with a smile of his own, leaving the half-finished sweater aside to stand up. “Hi,” she said then, moving forward to the steps he was climbing.

“Hi,” he returned, stopping one step down so they were at the same level. He brought his hands forward from behind his back, the previously cracked frame and picture within, his gaze lingering on Sarah’s smile a moment longer. “Fixed it for ya.”

“Oh,” she looked over her shoulder, towards the slightly ajar door as if to look at the spot it had been resting. “You didn’t–thank you,” she said, carefully picking it from him.

“Sure,” he shrugged lightly, burying his now empty hands in his pockets. “Thought I’d just stop by,” he added, shuffling slightly. Her smile widened.

“You know you don’t need an excuse to just stop by, right?” she turned around, gesturing at him to follow as she headed inside, lingering at the entrance to place the picture right back where it belonged.

“I know,” he mumbled, lingering at the threshold. One of his guitars was in the living room, resting against the armchair Ellie had curled up in and ended up falling asleep on during the first time they’d gone over. The last time, he’d forgotten the instrument, after Tommy had insisted vehemently he should’ve brought it with him.

“I meant to bring that over,” she said, catching him looking at it. “I saw you teaching Ellie,” she added, pinching one string as she passed by it before heading to the kitchen.

“Yeah, tryin’ to,” Joel followed, fingertips tingling stuffed in his pockets. “She’s good.”

“Better than I was?” she returned with two glasses filled with amber liquid and a grin on her face. “Sweet tea–I got some of the first lemons.”

“Baking, making sweet tea, knitting,” he picked the cool glass from her with a grateful look–the simple act of holding it gave him back another piece of home he thought was gone forever. It had happened quite a few times since they’d found each other again. “You’re turning into your mother, Sugar.”

The woman snorted, rolling her eyes as she stepped away, and Joel was quick to hide his smirk behind the rim of the glass.

“I’ll pretend that was a compliment, Miller,” she squinted in his direction, mock-menacingly.

“C’mon, you know I loved your mother,” he argued before taking a sip–he hummed softly, eyes shutting on instinct. If he focused, he could hear the fire crackling and water bubbling over the stove as her mother made it, could taste the sugar and lemon or peaches she’d slip them in the meantime. He sighed. “I’ll tell you what–your talents clearly reside in this, not that,” he added, pointing towards the guitar. She laughed again.

“Well, I’d rather listen to the music than play it,” she declared, her chin tilted upwards, a grin mimicking his own. Then her eyes widened, a shimmer in them as she jolted on the spot, quickly resting the glass down on the table. “I’ve gotta show you something!”

A small frown knitted his brow as he licked the sweetness from his mouth and followed her with his gaze, hurried steps towards the bedroom that echoed in the quiet of the home. She was gone a few minutes, returning after a moment of rattling, a wide smile spread across her face. Joel’s eyes fell to the object in her hands–a portable CD player, not so different from the one she’d gifted Sarah in the 90s but they always ended up stealing once she was asleep.

“Audio is not the best, to be fair, but after so many years without music–” she stopped in front of him, offering one of the earphones to him while she put the other one in.

Still frowning lightly, Joel shuffled closer, the short cord forcing him forward. The drum arrived first, the sound slightly scratched, and with her smile widening she looked up at him. Like the beat beat beat of the tom-tom, he chuckled as she freed his hands, rocking from one side to the other following the rhythm.

“Where’d you get this?” he stumbled forward when she took one of his hands, tugging him closer–the other fell to her side to second her swinging–he couldn’t help returning her infectious smile as she shrugged lightly, her free hand reaching on his shoulder.

“Luck–I found it before getting here along with a couple of CDs,” she looked up at him, head slightly tilted. “This one reminded me of you,” she added, voice softer–for a moment, her smile faltered.

She’d never thought she’d see him again, keeping the record out of pure nostalgia for someone she hadn’t seen in years. Someone she always feared was gone. They’d listened to Ella Fitzgerald constantly during their teenage years, Joel sneaking some of his parents’ records to her house, or locking themselves into listening booths for hours until they were kicked out. Dancing as they were in that moment.

“Only you beneath the moon and under the sun,” she hummed, their movements slowing with the song. “Whether near to me or fat, it’s no matter darling where you are–”

“I think of you night and day, day and night, why is it so?” he joined in, voice low, head bending slightly towards her–her smile returned, a shimmer in her eyes.

“Your voice’s changed,” she murmured, taking half a step closer. “S’warmer. I like it.”

“Thought you always liked my voice,” he smiled, tucking his chin to look down at her. She nodded with a low chuckle, locking their already joined hands together by intertwining their fingers.

“’Course I did,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes mockingly. She gave a squeeze to his hand then, lowering her head slightly. “I missed it–this,” she inhaled sharply then, a shallow sound that temporarily overwhelmed the music. “You,” she added, almost in a whisper that would’ve been lost to him had he not been looking at her mouth.

Joel’s heart stuttered, a soft sigh at her admission as his eyes fluttered shut, just a moment. Tongue-tied, he shifted closer, as close as he could get, the hand on her waist moving to the small of her back, wrapping his arm around her. He didn’t know how to tell her, how to let his mouth form the words that clouded his head–that had been since he’d seen her again. He couldn’t say it, not for lack of trying.

“Sugar,” he whispered, and she nodded, leaning forward and cutting him off.

The song went on, and she rested her head on his chest–the hand on his shoulder was soft, arm almost draped across it as she toyed absentmindedly with the collar of his shirt, brushing the nape of his neck every now and then. Their joined ones fell to his chest, arms bent, the warmth of her exhales brushing across their knuckles. He bent his head slightly, cheek barely brushing the top of her head, and he tightened his arm around her waist to keep her close–each song closer, until the music stopped.

They stayed like that a moment longer, even in silence, his heart beating the only sound she could hear, silence on his end with his good ear plugged by the earphone. She rubbed her thumb against the side of his hand, small movements that made his eyelids droop. He caught a glimpse of the top of her head like that, the curve of her nose, her eyelashes brushing her cheeks and the small pout on her relaxed mouth, all half-hidden against him. She looked–

“Ah, fuck’s sake,” he muttered to himself, and she blinked rapidly before looking up, wide-eyed. She tilted her head, gently pulling his earphone off.

“What is it?” she cleared her throat, taking a small step back. The hold on his hand began loosening, so he forced himself to ease his arm around her waist, too, shaking his head.

“Nothin’, just–something Ellie said, it’s not important,” he let go of her when her brows knit, a hint of perplexity in her gaze. “I should go, actually. Check she’s actually gone to sleep.”

“Of course,” she returned quickly, stepping even further back, hands falling to her sides and rubbing down slowly, palms dragging along the seams of her jeans. “Thank you. For the frame–and passing by.”

His right hand twitched slightly at his side, and he took a small step back, nodding at her words. He stopped then, moving forward once more–he pushed past the knot in his throat and the tingling in his limbs and his heart dropping, and reached for her face. She leaned into his touch, his hands cupping over her cheeks as he shifted closer once more, brushing a delicate kiss to her forehead, her lips curled into the beginning of a smile. He held her gently, the touch of his lips lingering a moment longer over her skin before he moved away.

“See ya, Sugar.”

Summer was relentless. With days spent seeking shadows and some reprieve from the heat, the nights were unbearable in their stillness. Joel couldn’t sleep–after 20 years in Boston, he wasn’t used to the Southern heat anymore.

And he would be lying to himself if he thought that was the only reason why.

He kept replaying the conversation with Tommy in his head, over and over. He was haunted by it, sitting on the porch in the quiet of Jackson’s night.

“Ellie’s right, it is getting painful to watch.”

“The hell are you talking with Ellie about?”

“You and Sugar. It’s worse than when we were young, actually.”

“What do you mean?”

“Means this time I can’t pretend to ask her out so that you finally get your head out of your ass and admit you like her. You gotta wake up, Joel.”

He was awake. Truth was, Joel had felt like he had been living in a nightmare for the past 20 years–and now he was awake and didn’t know what to do with himself. He didn’t know how to be himself anymore. Or how to be a person.

Perhaps that was why he was knocking on her door while everyone else was asleep. Perhaps he was just too much in his head about it. Perhaps–

“Joel?” his eyes fell down across her, flimsy night clothes clinging to her for a split second before he forced his gaze up, breath stuttering slightly. “It’s the middle of the night, what happened?”

“Sorry–shit,” he looked away, past his shoulder, back at her–was his heart beating faster? Were his hands shaking? He felt like it. “You’re right. Sorry, I’ll just–it can wait,” he stepped back, shaking his head.

“It clearly can’t, since you knocked at my door like a maniac,” she said it with a little grin, and some tension left his shoulders at the sight of it, of her stepping back and opening the door further for him. “C’mon, get inside.”

Joel walked past her and his steps faltered, tilting his head in her direction with a sharp inhale before moving along, fists opening and closing down his sides. He’d gotten better at that–not letting it all overwhelm him. Understand when the world might begin tipping under his feet and stabilize himself. He was trying–for Ellie, for his brother, for her, he was really trying.

“What happened?” she asked softly. They stood in the living room as they had before, as they had when they’d danced, except they were each on one end of the couch, a gaping emptiness between the two of them. “Should I start to get worried? You look like–”

“I like you,” he blurted out, recoiling at the shift in his own voice–so much louder than her careful tone. She blinked rapidly, head slightly tilted.

“I should hope so,” she scoffed, the reassuring smile she had before turning into a downright amused one. But Joel was shaking his head already, hands still restless. “Joel–”

“No, I mean–I like like you,” she blinked again, lips parting slightly and making her smile begin to dwindle. “Like I think I might be in love with you,” he closed his eyes, inhaling sharply–of course Ellie’s voice would echo in his head right then. Making an absolute fool out of him. “And I think I’ve always been and just didn’t know, or maybe I did know and I just didn’t want to fuck up this too, because I always fucked up everything, every relationship I ever had but ours, and the thought of losing you was terrifying–is terrifying,” he gasped a little between words, each one falling out of his mouth and out of his control. “Or maybe I wasn’t, you know? Maybe–maybe I just–”

“Joey,” she called him softly–so soft he almost didn’t hear her, and reacted first to her hand resting over his chest. His eyes flew open, gaze unfocused for a moment running across her face before they locked with hers, familiar and gentle. She pressed her palm against his chest, and he knew for sure his heart was stuttering underneath her touch. “Take a breath.”

He gasped again, shoulders dropping forward as if wrapping himself around her hand with a long exhale. Blindly, he reached for her, fingers wrapping around her wrist.

“Another,” she instructed, taking his other hand gingerly, and he did. Inhale, exhale, stumbling forward. “It’s just me, Joey.”

“You’re the only one who’s ever called me that, y’know?” he whispered, breathlessly. She gave him a little smile, tapping two fingers on his chest. Slowly, his heartbeat matched her rhythm, and he squeezed her wrist once, gently.

“Wanna try that again?” she murmured, tilting her head a little to the side.

“You can kick me out,” he retorted in a mumble, and she sighed. She shifted the hand she was holding, thumb pressing into his wrist, right above his pulse, right above the strap of his watch, while the rest of her fingers spread across the back of his hand.

“And why would I do that?” Joel met her gaze again–awaiting, reassuring, familiar gaze.

“You’ve known me all our lives, Sugar,” she nodded at his heavy sigh. “You’ve seen me fuck everything up, multiple times–Christ, you’ve seen me fuck things up with Sarah’s mother, too,” again she nodded, and he lowered his voice, breath stuttering. “Yet you were always there for me.”

“Of course I was,” with the last nod, she smiled–it was bittersweet, made his heart ache.

“I loved you for that. More than I knew could be possible,” he bowed his head, the tip of his nose brushing hers tentatively. “And I love–I love–I love you still.”

Her exhale was long, fingers curling over his chest and twisting in the fabric of his shirt–he stumbled forward ever so slightly, the hand he had around her wrist falling against her side balancing himself as she brought her lips close to his. Close, without touching, his breath stuttering when her exhale hit his skin.

“You’ve been the best half of my life, Joel,” there was a scratch in her voice that wasn’t there before, words trembling ever so slightly. “You–I’ve always known I loved you. I knew I loved you, I just–I don’t think I ever realized how much until I lost you. Or found you again.”

“Sugar–” she shook her head, humming.

“Not done,” she chided, and he snapped his mouth shut, almost chuckling. “You were my best friend. I’d like to think you still are, even after these awful fucking years because I–I’ve always needed you, Joel,” the hand on his chest shifted upwards slightly, resting at his collarbones. “And I still do. I need you in my life–I need you.”

“You do have me, sweetheart,” he said, hurriedly, pulling back ever so slightly. Her eyes were shimmering, and he wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her close–her hand slid to the side of his neck, lips quivering slightly. He was looking at her lips. “However you want me, you have me.”

“I do love you, even now,” her thumb traced figures eight over his neck with one hand, small circles on his wrist with the other. Soothing. Gentle. Calming. “Whoever it is you think you’ve become now–I love you. I need you to understand that.”

Joel’s mouth opened. Closed. Opened. Closed again, a thin line cutting through his face. She was looking at him as if she could see right through him, pick up the pieces of his hesitation during the months just gone by, and the years before that. Reading him as she’d always done, and speaking directly to his foolish heart, reassuring him–you’ll get through the year, you’ll get through the grief, you’ll be alright, Sarah’ll be alright, we’ll be alright, I love you, I love you, I love you.

“I know,” he hummed, tightening his hold around her. Her body softened into his with a long exhale, the hand rising to his jaw, scratching along his patchy beard. “I’m trying, sweetheart.”

“I know you are,” she cupped his cheek, and in spite of the heat he didn’t mind the warmth radiating from her palm. His eyes fluttered shut. “C’mere.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, his head falling forward against the curve of her neck. He leaned fully into the circle of her arms, reaching out with his other free hand too to keep her close, her back slightly arched towards him, locked together like pieces of a puzzle. Freshly cut grass welcoming him home, he dug his fingertips into her sides and brushed his mouth to her neck–a half kiss, hesitant and tentative. If he got a full taste, he knew he’d want nothing else for as long as he lived.

That was a lie. He already didn’t, couldn’t fathom it.

Slowly, she tipped her head to the side, granting him more space–he could feel her heartbeat quickening under his parted lips, a hiccup in her breath as she dragged her hands up the nape of his neck, fingertips slowly brushing through the locks at the back of his head, guiding him forward and up. He let her guide him, gave her full control as the tip of his nose traced a path up her jaw, cheek, his lips following.

“Are you teasin’, Sugar?” he whispered, rubbing their noses together, and felt her smile rather than saw it. She shook her head, pressing herself impossibly closer as she scratched his scalp gently. “Then I’m gonna need you to tell me what to do next.”

When he opened his eyes, she was looking at him already, so close she was slightly cross-eyed, long lashes kissing the arch of her brows. His own heart beat a little quicker, a little louder, anticipation building in his limbs as he could feel himself burn from within.

“Kiss me,” just a whisper.

He didn’t need to be told twice.

His heart would never be whole again, that much he knew–a part of it had stayed behind, pierced by a bullet, a 20 years old wound. But he could live again, day by day. He could find his way back to life, with his Ellie on one side and–

Joel caught her lips with his own, and it felt like homecoming. Sweet as sugar, he kissed her slow, without rush, as if trying to make up for each year spent apart, and for each year spent together in the wrong way. He held her as if she might shatter and like he would never let her go both, drank greedily each sigh, each whisper, never once parting until his lungs burned, and then kissing her gasps away, too.

#redahlia #be still my foolish heart #pedrostories #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #tlou fanfiction #pedro pascal characters

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joelsbeard · 6 months ago

Note

guilty 2 say that i’m a little obsessed with ur hcs🫣 so i’m back with another requestttt

could i ask for hcs about the affect reader has on young!joel? like it can be anything from her physical to emotional aspects, i js wanna know how down bad you think he is for his girl yk😩

you are so nice 🥺 MORE HEADCANONS COMING UP YEEEEE

edit: i spent too long building up on how you and joel met lol so I will so another part to this to answer it a little better

part 2

My AU hc is that you and joel meet in hs and have sarah and ellie lol, and my canon divergent hc is that you meet joel after he has sarah and is raising her as a single dad (since it's such a defining moment/trait for him i guess) and then you have ellie together ❤️ so her and sarah are half sisters. Idk if i'll ever get around to writing hc's for the second one since I'd rather focus on you and joel meeting in hs and having sarah and ellie ❤️ lol also less heartbreak for my pookie.

ANYWAYS, you and joel meet in hs ❤️ and honestly you both fall for each other at the same time 🙈 so yall are just pining for each other lol.

AND everybody knows it and its so cute

You probably grew up with him or went to the same middle school at least, have definitely thought the other one was cute but didn't really act on it, and yall have dated other people (not a lot, but both of you have dated 1-2 other ppl at least)

After both of you are single in hs, you for some reason end up noticing each other more in the hallways and stuff

Then you have a class together and ITS ALL OVER 😈

It's like all of a sudden a switch turns on and you guys start crushing REAL bad on each other

You've been in the same group projects once or twice and every time you interact one of yall is alwayyyys blushing

Most people ship you guys (except for the jealous girls and guys smh) and both of your and his friends try to play matchmaker and get you two to go out lol

As I've previously mentioned before, i do not see joel miller as a player at all, so he probably does get a little nervous around you sometimes, however I also think he's got his moments where he's smooth as hell and the rizz the fuck out of you LMAOO (uh daddy??)

He got you like this in class 😍🙈😋🥰 fr

Okay but you honestly have the same effect on him

On multiple occasions you find yourselves looking at each other in class hehe, and when you make eye contact you guys are like 🤭

I will clarify though, he's not out here hardcore flirting with you or anything, i think he's a little too shy for that

Yall get butterflies in your stomach whenever you talk to each other, meanwhile both of your friends are trying to hype you both up being like "just go out with him/her!!!" and being like "he/she totally likes you!" or "Somebody told me that they have a crush on you 🙈" but yall are too shy/blind to see each other's feelings lol

EVENTUALLY you guys hang out a little, and afterwards he asks you on a date, and you guys are SMITTEN with each other from then on

Yall become that couple in hs that everyone loves lol, they think yall are so cute together

Yes you go to prom together lol (can you tell I'm american)

I think it'd be cliche for you to get pregnant with sarah on your prom night, i think that'd also be a little too early for canon (joel becomes a dad at 19, so his baby mama (you!!) must've gotten pregnant around 18/19, so that's typically your senior yr of hs or after you've graduated)

To be continued!!!!

#tlou #game joel miller #joel miller #the last of us #pixel joel #young joel miller #joel miller headcanons #asks #hc's #pre outbreak!joel

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sterek-ao3feed · 3 months ago

Text

made of you

Read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/58281562

by quackquackcey

Stiles struggles with the aftermath of the events in season 5, but when everyone forgets him after he's taken by the Ghost Riders, Derek calls his name.

☾ Why is it that even in the darkness, Derek always sees him? ☾ 𖤓 And why is it that despite Derek's intentions to stay away, he can't help but stay by Stiles' side? 𖤓

---

"You're all I've wanted," he breathed more than spoke, the confession cracking his voice, "for a long, long time."

Words: 6217, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski, Peter Hale, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Scott McCall's Pack Members (Teen Wolf)

Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Teen Wolf (TV) Season 6A, Songfic, True Alpha Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski is Derek Hale's Anchor, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, Top Derek Hale/Bottom Stiles Stilinski, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Senior Stiles Stilinski, Magic, Stiles Stilinski Needs a Hug, Derek Hale is a Softie, Late Night Conversations, Derek Hale Remembers Stiles Stilinski, School Dances, Prom

https://archiveofourown.org/works/58281562

#Sterek #Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale #Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski #ao3feed Sterek #ao3feed #fanfic

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a-roses-wondrous-rain · 6 months ago

Text

I Became A Butterfly.

TW - hurt no comfort, unreciprocated feelings.

Extra notes ~ 6.3k characters. A bit canon divergent. Y’know that one part of Mene’s dream where she watched Miya dance with another? This is my original thoughts on it before realizing that it was just her dream. It cuts off at the mirror scene and merges back with canon again.

The sewing machine whirred. Tomorrow is prom, and Mene was crunching on the dress. Tame Mene, the nobody with bad grades, trying to ask Miya Nanamiya, the popular girl who had everyone swooning, to prom on the day of, assuming no one asked her yet. The black lace blended into the silky material as she kept her foot down on the pressure foot, the needle in the machine bobbing up and down as it glided through the fabric with ease. It would be a gorgeous dress, hopefully pretty enough to win Miya’s heart. It started as wanting to be like her, to falling for her, to now working up the courage to ask her out.

Mene was pretty sure she liked girls, right? All she could do was hope it would work out. If it doesn’t, then at least she tried. Mene cut the thread and held up the dress, marveling at her own work. She was never confident in what she did, but this felt good. It felt perfect. Mene put it on the mannequin and grabbed the stretchy black fabric to make gloves. Maybe she could make them elbow length.

She almost overslept her alarm. Thankfully, that three hours of sleep was just enough to get her out of bed and operating for the day. Saturday, seven am was the time. Mene had arranged to meet with Miya, but hadn’t gotten any confirmation over it. No text, no call, no nothing. Mene got dressed in her casual outfit, a deep purple long sleeve shirt and black leggings, and a pair of black shoes with lavender laces. She headed outside, raining again. Mene started walking down the street, her hands over her head to try and prevent the rain from ruining the styling she attempted doing. She wanted this to be special, after all. Walking… walking… walking… finally, Mene reached their spot. She asked Miya to meet her at a nearby park, but she wasn’t there. Five more minutes morphed into ten, and that turned to thirty. Two hours later, Mene finally accepted she wouldn’t show up.

On her way home in the pouring rain, Mene got a notification from Miya. ‘Hey, hanging out with someone to make sure our outfits are ready, sorry :/‘ ah… Mene put her phone back in her pockets, willing the tears to not spill over. Miya, the girl she had finally worked up the courage to ask to prom, already had a date. Why did she even bother. It’s not like someone as pretty and popular as Miya would go with someone as quiet and average as Mene to something like prom. The walk back was quiet, nearly… serene, in a way. Her clothes were soaked, her hair ruined and the little bit of makeup she bothered putting on running down her face, but it was calm. Almost able to let her forget how she had just been stood up like that.

Mene got home and shut the door, heading to her room and locking it. The first thing she saw was the scissors and the very very dark purple gloves she made. It’s not like Miya would’ve like them, she was much more pastel than that. She would’ve hated it. She would’ve hated it. That’s all Mene could think as she disfigured the gloves she worked so hard on. After about ten seconds of cutting up the gloves, Mene finally came to her senses and dropped the gloves. She didn’t know what to feel. Should she cry? Should she feel angry? Should she be indifferent to this all? Should she have known she wasn’t good enough to go to prom? It all felt like too much.

It took some convincing from her parents, but Mene started putting on the dress hours later to go to prom. She was told it’d be a waste of time and money if she didn’t go. So there the purple haired girl was, sliding on the gloves that now only came down to the middle of her forearms with cuts on the sides. It took a lot to not cry at seeing all this hard work that would go unappreciated. Her parents assured her she looked lovely as she headed out of the door, a matching black umbrella to go with her dress. She walked down the street, head hung low like a puppy that just got hit. Finally, she reached the place. Mene’s head was flooded by too much as she walked into the building where it was being held; “What if I see Miya?” “What if she hates my guts?” “What am I even doing here” “Should I just leave?” “There are too many people” “Everyone’s in lighter colors, do I look stupid in this dress?” “I think I’m the only one here without a date…”It all came to a stop when her feet carried her through the crowded event, right to Miya. Mene stared and marveled at her beauty as she watched the blonde dance…

…with someone else. Miya looked like a gorgeous doll as she moved and danced, just so perfect. Too perfect for someone like Mene. As much as she longed and wished, Mene would never be as good as Miya, or as popular, or as pretty, or as perfect, or as straight-A’d, or as hard working, or as lovely, or as playful, or funny, or beautiful, or lovable, or perfect, or-

Mene headed towards the door, biting her cheek to prevent the tears from making themselves known. “I am not good enough,” is what repeated through her head as she walked outside. As soon as Mene was away from the masses, she started running. Running. Running. Running. Running. The rain started even harder, and Mene didn’t have the energy to put up her umbrella. She simply ran through the rain, not caring how ruined her dress was, or how swampy her flats were, or how soaked her hair got. The rain hid the effects of the tears, save for the puffy red eyes and quiet sobs. Running. Running. Running. Running.

She slammed her door shut once she got inside, ignoring her parents asks as to how she got to this state or why she was home so early. She immediately got into her duller clothes and started modifying the dress. If it was too pathetic of a dress for Miya, she could at least make it pretty. She sewed until past midnight. Mene made the dress much more butterfly like and set it down on her bed. Now, she should start cleaning. Especially her bed, and that mirror she could never get the smudges off of.

In a dark room, by myself, before the mirror at one in the morning. “Hey, who could you be?” “Hey, who could I be?” I asked but still received no reply.

#abnormality dancin girl #tame mene #miya nanamiya #menemiya I suppose?#canon ship #guchiry

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winderlylandchime · 11 months ago

Text

Fanfiction Year in Review 2023

I fell out of fandom in 2021-ish for mental health and other reasons (iykyk). I returned this past year and reunited with old friends and made new ones. I absolutely adore fandom and all that it brings with it. The passion, the love, the community, the complete bypassing of cringe. Please, more.

This year, I returned to fanfiction and published over 150k words. I know absolutely that word counts mean nothing but if we’re taking writing as a symptom of emotional and mental well-being for me (for me!), then I feel so very good about this. I also learned how many ways someone can write about the same theme (prom! arc!) without completely losing their audience. I wanted to do a little year-in-review by listing the fics I’ve published and my favorite line from each.

Thank you so much to every single person who encouraged me in DMs, servers, kudos, and comments. Writing brings me happiness but the community around writing brings me the most joy. I would not have returned to fandom without each of you.

And then there were three rating: T, word count: 727, ficlet, inspired by a prompt by @lostcol and a bit of a character study of Brian Kinney.

Favorite line: Oh, there are mothers in Brian’s life now. They’re surrounding him as he sits, head bowed, face covered in tears-streaked blood, scent of death and ammonia in his nose.

(and I’d do it again) rating: E, word count: 6,865, one-shot, canon divergence in S5, maybe something other than a bomb can bring them back together

Favorite line: It’s not like Justin is going to come back to the loft with him. Not after he up and left five weeks and three - no four days ago. He’s ready to wash his hands of this night. Ready to be done to the extent that he’ll ever be done with Justin. To the extent that he’ll ever be able to fully wash his hands of any of this. He feels like Lady Macbeth with her eternal spot, forever marked by blood on the cold cement floor of a parking garage.

carried me with you rating: E, word count: 36,405, after prom Jennifer asks Brian to stay away from Justin, and he does

Favorite line: ”But that’s not me taking care of you. That’s, that’s - ” I struggled to find the words to convey what was natural, what was something that didn’t require effort or thought or intention. “ - that’s like breathing.”

love is so short (forgetting is so long) rating: T, word count: 2,777, WARNING MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, what the fuck was I thinking?

Favorite line: His mama, an artist, just said, “Gussy, some people, most people, have an infinite capacity to love. Other people have the capacity to love one person infinitely.” He never asked again.

clothes mean nothing until until somebody lives in them rating: M, word count: 3,007, 5+1 things and clothes sharing

Favorite line: That night, Justin lies in Michael’s old bed and holds the shirt over his face while he remembers the vibrations of Brian’s moans against his skin as he ate him out the night before. He jerks off to the memory. Not the first boy to jerk off to thoughts of Brian in this bed.

you’re like a tattoo (something i can’t undo) rating: E, word count: 87,170, my first QAF complete AU, sugar daddy AU. also kinneycutt!

favorite line: “Oh, darling,” Emmett’s voice is dripping with something cashmere soft. “Oh, oh, oh . Darling, you are fucked. Oh, you are beyond fucked.” He looks at Brian. “And you don’t even know it.”

beautiful like the darkness between the fireflies rating: E, word count: 18,611 (WIP), my first QAF post canon, exes-to-lovers, soft fluffity fluff

favorite line: “And, dad?” There’s a hopeful edge to Gus’ voice, something that hasn’t been killed by the spectacular failure of their moms’ marriage and generally having Brian as a third parent.

“Yeah?” He feels the word bubble up from deep in his chest. He wants this kid to hold onto hope for as long as they can.

“An anchor can be good, it can keep you grounded, you know?”

very low-key, no pressure, tagging to share your 2023 wins fanfic, gifs, or otherwise: @getmehighonmagic @magicandarchery @lostcol @kiranerysed @sophsun1 @bigassbowlingballhead @bartbarthelme @sheisraging @eusuntgratie @xoxoemynn

#my fanfiction #queer as folk #queer as folk fanfiction #qaf fanfiction #fanfiction #fandom

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demisexual-eddie-diaz · 2 years ago

Text

The Hardware Store

Canon divergences about Bobby and Eddie’s talk in the store. Basically, it’s an Eddie pinning story. I did write this in like ten minutes, so I’m sorry if it sucks.

1.k

——————————————————————

“How did you do it with Shannon?”

“I didn’t.”

——————————————————————

Eddie called Bobby frantic, asking for help with one of Christopher’s school projects. Some elaborate, over the top structure.

He’d usually call Buck for this. Buck always knew how to help with Chris’s projects. From models and diagrams to chemistry and bake sales. Buck knew how to do it all. But Eddie didn’t want to bother him. Buck had said something about cooking dinner for…Nicole? Whatever her name is, it doesn’t matter. Buck can’t help them now.

Eddie had mindlessly been answering Bobby’s questions about his dating life, the good and the bad, when he asked something that stuck.

“What did you do with Shannon?”

He looked down at the wood he was holding, longer than he needed to to be honest. He needed to think of a good answer. What did he do to get Shannon? He doesn’t really remember. He should remember. There should be some elaborate ‘will you go to prom with me’ story, or hell, an elaborate ‘will you marry me’ story. But there isn’t. They found out that she was pregnant so Eddie said they should get married. He didn’t even ask her. It was a “I did this, I’ll help you out of it” kind of thing. He couldn’t think of a real answer, so he looked up at Bobby and told him he didn’t.

“You ‘didn’t’?” Bobby questions, staring at Eddie as he stands back up, knees cracking in the process.

“No. I mean, we found out we were having Chris, so we got married. It was the only thing we could do.”

“The only thing?”

“Well, I’m sure some people figured it out, but we weren’t even supposed to be, well you know, before being married. We had to do something, and she didn’t want to have an abortion, so we got married.”

“What about when you started dating? In high school.”

Placing another wood block in the cart, Eddie rested his arm on a shelf and looked back up at Bobby.

“We weren’t even together all that long. We were kids when Chris was born. Shannon was eighteen and I was only a year older. Well, a few months older. We only dated for about ten months before getting married. Like I said, we didn’t have a choice.”

Bobby looked cautiously in Eddie’s direction as they turned down the next aisle.

“Would you have gotten married if you hadn’t have had Chris?”

Without even thinking about it, Eddie gives his honest answer with his back turned.

“If I didn’t know what I’d have in the future? No. I wouldn’t have married her. Maybe not even years after we did. I just don’t think I would have at all. Now that I have this life, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I wouldn’t change anything.”

“Anything? You wouldn’t change ‘anything’?” Bobby asks as they walk up to the checkout.

“Cap.”

“Eddie.”

They pay in silence. How could Bobby have asked him that? Does he need anything else? Would he change anything? Of course he would. Of course he would. He loves how his life is now, so he’s not going to risk it. As they climb into Eddie’s truck, Bobby stops Eddie before they drive off.

“Look, Eddie. I'm sorry for saying what I did. I guess I can go too far sometimes.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

As he starts the ignition, and pulls out of the parking lot, all Eddie can think about is what he’d change. He’d change the fact that he can’t have Buck’s lips on his. He’d change the fact that their left ring fingers are left bare, naked. He’d change the fact that he doesn’t wake up in his bed, with Buck next to him. He’d change the way he held Buck. At times, when they hugged, he can smell the strawberry shampoo Buck uses. He wants to be able to hold him so very close and just breathe Buck in. He’d change the fact that Buck’s hands aren’t always holding his, or on him. He’d change the pictures in their home to those of their wedding and other small adventures. He’d change the fact that he can’t hold Buck’s head in his hands, lean him down, and kiss his birthmark. God, did he love Buck’s birthmark.

The whole ride had been silent, until a muffled sob came from Eddie. Echoing its way to the backseat and being covered up by the honking of the cars near to them.

“Eddie?” Bobby starts cautiously, “what’s going on?”

“It’s too late, Bobby. It’s too late.”

“Too late for what?”

“For what I want. For what I almost had. For what I need. For him to..for me to. It’s too late.”

“It’s never too late. Never.”

“People always say that. But I think it’s not true this time.”

“You can tell him. I promise you, he feels the same way.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“How so?”

“You don’t know how he feels.”

“I know that I had a similar conversation with him when you started going on dates again. I know that I told him it wasn’t too late, but he didn’t believe me. He said if you were going to date someone, going to forget him, then he had to try and find a way too.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I wouldn’t, Eddie. Not about this. Not to you. Not about my son.”

His son. Not about his son. Now Eddie felt like some scared teenager asking permission to go on a date with someone’s daug- son. Someone’s son. Bobby’s son.

“You really think so?”

“Yes. I do. You should talk to him.”

“Maybe.”

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sam-loves-seb · 7 months ago

Note

we obviously do wanna know about the hamsters, please do tell

okay this is the hastily written out list i typed up yesterday after i made this post. it’s just the ones i can think of off the top of my head at the moment, i don’t expect any of them to make total sense to anyone but me rn, but they are all running so fast on their little wheels.

fics i would love to write if/when i have more time

- ian and mickey meet more of their westside neighbors at this pool party that the building is throwing for all of their residents. ian is immediately accosted by the husbands into doing Guy Shit and mickey cannot be bothered so he goes to find an empty chair by the pool and ends up in the corner with all the wives. all the women are talking about the tall hot redhead that just moved in on the second floor. chaos ensues

- more westside gallavich: ian and mickey go to a dinner party that one of their neighbors invited them to. everyone is wearing ties and sweaters and there isn’t even actual dinner, just a bunch of fancy hours d’oeuvres, and mickey is trying to make nice for ian’s sake but he lasts about 45 minutes before he’s uncomfortable enough to break and ian relents and tells him they can leave. someone overhears them, one of the husbands that kind of knows them, and is jealous they get to leave early. gallavich convinces that husband and wife to ditch this snooze fest and come back to their apartment to party southside style. this breaks out into a game of telephone and eventually the entire dinner party end up in ian and mickey’s apartment and they all have a much better time being less stuffy and boring and the rich neighbors even bring the good drugs

- mickey’s mom shows up at their westside apartment one day, years after mickey was told she was dead. turns out she was practically dead from an overdose but managed to survive, get out, and go west for a few years before eventually she got clean. it’s taken her a long time to come back, but she’s trying to find all her kids. mickey is less than welcoming. there’s so much she doesn’t know, including but not limited to how his “kind and handsome roommate” is actually his husband.

- private high school au where mickey and mandy are transfer students and they really don’t want to be there. ian takes a liking to both of them and befriends them, and the three of them plus lip go through an entire school year together. ian plays basketball. there’s a prom on here somewhere.

- dancing with the stars au where mickey is a famous rock star with an attitude problem and his labor is super fucking close to dropping him bc his image is dismal at the moment, so his manager/agent (mandy) signs him up for a family friendly ballroom dance competition to help his image. mickey has to make it to at least week 4 before he can lose on purpose, otherwise his label will cut all ties. his partner is a seasoned pro and takes none of his shit and—oh yeah did we mention the hot redhead pro in the next room over? the one mickey keeps running into during breaks and on show days? yeah mickey kinda can’t stop thinking about him.

- rockstar mickey au where the milkovich siblings make up a rock band that’s rising to prominent fame and they love what they do and they have each other’s backs even with their terrible manager/father always looming over everything they do. ian is part groupie part friend from home that sometimes travels with the band and is also, in the eye of the public, dating mandy but the band knows he’s just a cover for her to do whatever she wants and not get hounded by the media. the band is about to set out on their second tour, oh and gallavich has been hooking up ever since the end of their first tour but no one knows and thus chaos ensues with the band finding out, terry finding out, and the media finding out. eventually.

- canon divergent post s3 ian goes to the army and actually manages to stay there for four years, maybe eight, and he comes home to chicago and some things are different, but some are still the same because he sees some of the Milkoviches in the Alibi one night—including terry, who’s now smaller than ian (picture s11 ian he’s fucking huge) and has a limp from an old gun shot wound that never healed, and they lock eyes but stay out of each other’s way mostly bc ian wants nothing to do with him and terry knows ian could beat his ass now—and ian wonders just how many milkoviches are still in town. if a certain one will show up here one night. it’s been eight years and ian’s been with other guys but mickey’s still the one he can’t shake.

- canon divergent 2x08: carl asks ian to be his football coach bc ian used to play and ian says he can’t because he has to work but what if we change that and ian gets to be carl’s football coach and even goes so far as to convince mickey to come to some of the games. i just think it would be neat !

so yeah. that’s what’s at the forefront of my brain rn i know there are definitely others in my docs that i haven’t thought of in a while but oh well. will i actually write any of these, who’s to say, definitely not me!

#thank u for asking anon #i feel better putting this out into the ether #feel free to ask me about any of these or chat with me about them #i have many many thoughts #ask sam

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klaineccfanficlibrary · 1 year ago

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2. Page-turning Fanfic Underneath it All by Heartsmadeofbooks 3. Fanfic that made you reach for a box of tissues- Hummel’s Home for Non-Conforming Adolescents by BeautifulUnseen 4. Fanfic where one has an unusual occupation- Dance Me To The End Of Love by Kurtswish 5. Wild Card - Love, Blaine by GleefulDarrenCrissfan 6. ? 7.written for a challenge- The Prom-us Misc authors

8. Made me lol - Chocolate Milk byCoffeeAddict80 9. Trope you don't usually read- Everybody's Naked and There's a Country to Run by CoffeeGleek

Thank you for your card! Find them on A03

2. Page turning fic: Underneath it All by @heartsmadeofbooks

Blaine first meets the mysterious Kurt Hummel at his brother's engagement party, and he's immediately struck by the quiet, handsome stranger. He doesn't expect their paths to cross again, but when life gives an unexpected turn, Kurt might be the only one with the power to help him save everything he cares about.

3. Fanfic that made you reach for a box of tissues- Hummel’s Home for Non-Conforming Adolescents by @beautifulunseen

Blaine Anderson had learned from the time he was marked as Non-Conforming that his life would never go according to plan. Still, the last thing he expected was Hummel’s Home and its head boy Kurt, who had, against all odds, escaped the same fate. Dystopian AU.

4. Fanfic where one has an unusual occupation- Dance Me To The End Of Love by @kurtswish

While unwinding at a club, Blaine Anderson meets a stranger who promises him one night of passion. When the night is over, Blaine wants more, so does Kurt; but what Kurt offers him is not quite what he was expecting.

5. Wild Card - Love, Blaine by @gleefuldarrencrissfan

Blaine Anderson is a typical teenager. Except he’s not because he’s hiding a huge secret. He’s gay. But after reading a confession on the informal Dalton blog, he discovers that he’s not the only closeted boy at Dalton. After a moment of courage, he emails him and ultimately starts up a friendship that will change life as he knows it. Loosely based on Love, Simon.

6. Summer story ------- no choice

7. Written for a challenge- The Prom-us Misc authors @gleefuldarrencrissfan @esperantoauthor @hkvoyage @hippohead @honeysucklepink @grlnxtdr30 @justgleekout @notyourdayrdream @missflurry @starpunchsoup Kellyb321

Kurt and Blaine met just as they did in canon, and even though Blaine realizes when Kurt sings Blackbird that he's in love with Kurt, he never says anything, and Kurt goes back to McKinley. Blaine transfers to McKinley for senior year, and they are best friends, bonding on being the only two out guys at McKinley until Karaofsky comes back. And he's out and proud, and he wants Kurt. And so he asks Kurt to be his prom date, repeatedly until Kurt, in frustration, finally blurts out that someone already asked him. He said the first name that came to mind, Blaine's. On top of that, he tells Dave that they are now dating. Now, Kurt needs to convince his best friend to take him to the biggest event of their high school year, senior prom. Tropes: Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers, High school Klaine, Canon Divergent

8. Fic made me laugh out loud - Chocolate Milk by @caramelcoffeeaddict CoffeeAddict80

Based off a prompt found on tumblr -- “Yes, I know this is a bar, but you’re a really hot bartender, and I panicked and said “CHOCOLATE MILK” when you asked me what I wanted to drink, now I just want to crawl away and hide forever” AU

9. Trope you don't usually read- Everybody's Naked and There's a Country to Run by @coffeegleek

A take on the "prince/king!Blaine and prince/king!Kurt are getting married and have to do it while naked in front of their loyal subjects" trope. It’s pure crack taken seriously. I’m blaming the heat. The fic started as this wisp of an idea and a single funny Kurt line. It was supposed to all be fast paced and instead sometimes dissolves into a bit of world building, exposition, and Kurt feelings. I do try my best and hope that at least some of the jokes and humor land. It also developed a full blown plot that has a beginning and an end.

#klaine fanfiction #2023 klaine bingo

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lost-dogsfrv · 3 months ago

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Lunter fanfic idea but throw The Calamity Trio into the mix: “We’re lost in L.A! But at least I found a familiar face and found a new group of friends”. Or aka Lunter meets the calamity trio the fanfic.

All characters are aged up and it’s an alternate universe canon divergence and I got inspired by this by doing my daily of liking amphibia fanart and I found a fanart of seeing the girls going through their prom even thought their in their 20’s and then it hit me what if Hunter and Luz decided to go to L.A for a vacation but during their trip of traveling around L.A in their rented car, they found the calamity trio just walking away from their middle school or high school that held the prom and Luz instantly recognized Anne from her voice and hair and that led to her telling Hunter to stop the car and getting out of the car and meeting her long lost friend who she lost contact for over 10 years and then everyone began to introduce to each other after driving their way towards Anne parents house or Anne’s apartment to hangout.

Also the comic con panel reading and the chibi-verse short are sorta reference in the fic idea but there will be changes to it. Also the calamity trio are just platonic friends they’re not romantic partners sorry Sashannarcy fans. Inspirations:

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phanfictioncatalogue · 8 months ago

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AU - Canon Divergence (2) Masterlist

part one

a night to remember (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Why did he think going anywhere alone would be a good idea? And to an honest to god queer prom for sad grown-ups who missed out the first time around because they were too busy being closeted.

Bittersweet (ao3) - heylazeh

Summary: “Do you believe that there's another world at the other side of the mirror where everyone is opposite?”

“No.”

“Watch out"

dan and philly's wet moments (ao3) - heartsopenminds

Summary: Phil loathes hiring people to come and fix stuff around the house - he never imagined that watching someone power washing a patio could be so much fun though.

dan is not a pianist (ao3) - Marranje

Summary: How Phil went from watching the pianist and youtuber Dan from afar to being by his side through the most important moments of their lives.

Disturb the Universe (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary: Dan and Phil are a successful YouTube duo, best friends and next door neighbors. Phil's married with two kids and Dan's long term boyfriend is like the queen's cousin or something. Their lives are fine--perfectly acceptable--but when two unrelated emergencies land Dan and Phil living together for the first time since 2012, they're forced to examine the choices they've made and confront the feelings they've kept quiet for nearly a decade.

Drips Through (ao3) - artbabe

Summary: Dan goes outside to smoke at a party. Phil joins him.

drop your heart I'll save it for you (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: Tenderness isn't part of the deal, nor are soft words, or feelings, or kisses that don't lead to fucking. It's not what Dan asked for, and it's certainly not why someone would choose to fuck their friend slash flatmate slash colleague who they absolutely don’t have any feelings for.

Equilibrium (ao3) - phan_anon

Summary: It's 2016, and Omega!Dan doesn't need an Alpha to be happy, thank you very much. He's quite content living with best friend, flat mate, business partner, co-author, ex-boyfriend, and occasional lover, Beta!Phil. Quite content, that is, until an unplanned pregnancy disturbs the comfortable equilibrium they've established over the years...

from up here you can't beat the view (just watch me now) (ao3) - kishere, maybeformepersonally

Summary: It's 2009 and Dan finds Phil on the internet when a well-meaning mate of his recommends him to a certain site she likes. Dan quickly becomes a fan: watching Phil's videos religiously and interacting with him on his socials. And, soon enough, Phil starts noticing him.

A familiar enough story on the surface but here's the catch: Phil has never been involved with YouTube.

Phil is a camboy.

Guilty Pleasure (ao3) - ThoughtaThought

Summary: Dan and Phil meet at a BDSM club and decide to play. Dan is a rigger and a masochist. Phil is a sadist and a rope bunny. It’s perfect.

hard launch at last (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: “Maybe the exact right moment won’t ever present itself.” Dan can feel himself hurtling towards some cosmic revelation as they stand here on a sandy beach in Portugal, the ocean bringing out the blue in Phil’s eyes.

I try to picture me without you but I can't (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: After Dan's tragic death, Phil starts having a bunch of strange dreams where he is still alive. But are they really just dreams?

Or: Phil's s̶o̶u̶l̶ consciousness can't cope with Dan's death, so he starts hopping between different universes to look for him.

more than convenient (ao3) - baroquen

Summary: Based on a Tumblr post.

In which Dan keeps seeing Phil as the closest profile on Grindr and finally says "fuck it."

(Except it's very sappy)

nylon is for delicate work (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: A forensic linguist meets a lawyer in Rawtenstall.

re: the apple store guy...IT ALL WORKED OUT! (ao3) - strange_highs_and_strange_lowss

Summary: Based on a craiglist "best of" posting. Apple Store customers Dan and Phil frequent the "missed communications" page. The world's most coincidental first date follows.

rocks wishing to be clouds (ao3) - catboyhowell (bloodyscarab) (ao3) - pinkseason

Summary: i'm a loose bolt of a complete machine. what a match, i'm half-doomed, and you're semi-sweet. - a story about kidnapper voicemails, habitual insecurity, and conversations within conversations.

Tried to do headstands for you (every time I fell on you) (ao3) - popsongnation

Summary: “I’m not always this clumsy and accident prone, I swear,” Dan says, and maybe he’s lying, but Phil doesn’t have to know that. How hard can it be not to injure yourself at a coffee shop? He just needs to remember which way the doors open, and buy new shoes. He’ll be fine.

Or: coffee shop/uni AU in which Dan keeps injuring himself in increasingly ridiculous ways, Phil regularly has to patch him up, and it’s Christmas time.

Two Man Team (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.

Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #phanfic #phan #masterlists #au #canondivergence #canondivergence masterlist

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taintandviolent · 1 year ago

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Punch Bowl - Winston Connelly x Reader

summary: 2.2k words. you went to the prom all by yourself, but luckily, Winston's planned date didn't go to well either. w a r n i n g s: canon divergence (technically), smut without a lot of plot, car sex, slight coercion, masterbation, praise.

ao3 link here! / full link below the cut! / recommended playlist here!

As the music slowed and the lights changed to a soft, dreamy hue, you were still leaning against the wall, debating on whether or not coming to the prom by yourself was an absolute win or a tragic loss. You kicked your leg up, watching as the tulle and satin fluttered down. One on hand, you were sitting on the outskirts during the slow dances, hopefully not looking too desperate. On the other, you had your pick of all the dorky, cute boys who also came alone. There was something about boyish innocence that drove you insane… after all, the entirety of the football team had come onto you at least once, and you never paid them any mind.

The quiet ones, the dorky ones. The ones that laughed a little too loud, or broke out some goofy dance moves — those were the ones that drove you up the wall so hard that the texture of the wall left imprints on your skin. Or the ones that you wished would. You heaved a sigh and reluctantly pushed yourself off the wall. As you navigated around the swirling couples, one of your friends made eyes at you, before rolling her eyes to indicate where her date’s hand was. Her ass. How nice for her. You raised her eyebrows and ducked underneath someone’s arms, making a beeline for the punch table.

The punch table? Abandoned? Ouch. The four-ton weight of realising you might just be the only one flying solo made your hands shake as you scooped the too-sweet liquid into the plastic cup. Suddenly, a hand… connected to a white-sleeved arm slithered next to your waist and took a handful of napkins. You lifted the cup above your shoulder and turned around to find the inconsiderate meathead who —

You immediately recognised the boy behind you. Soft brown hair framed his angular face, which was scrunched up in frustration. Winston Connelly. Soft voice, good manners. Handsome, dark eyes.

“Hi,” you murmured. In the way a dog’s expression changed, his brows lifted as his brown eyes flitted up to you. You inhaled sharply through your nose. He was cute, you remembered that, but he was even cuter now.

“Oh… hi! I’m… I’m sorry.”

You swirled the last mouthful of punch around in the bottom of the glass, watching him as he returned to his cleaning. “It’s okay, Winston.”

He stopped dabbing and looked up, confused. Now unattended, the remaining red liquid streamed down the front of his suit jacket like blood. Your lips curved into a smirk, bemused that that statement had almost floored him. “We have science together.”

“Huh.” He bobbed his head, taking in the information, and took a breath. “You know, it’s the craziest thing. They say ‘things can’t get any worse’, but believe me — they can. The girl I was supposed to take to prom hates me, I got lost on the way here, found out that I really don’t like ginger ale and tequila, and then she ditched me as soon as we got here. And now, I have punch on my arm.”

“Wow, sounds like you’ve really hit rock bottom.”

He shrugged. “I guess so.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, I came to the prom without a date.”

He seemed absolutely appalled by that confession. Good. “What? No way! That’s…. You’re way too pretty to not have a date.”

“Want to dance?”

He did.

Although your lust had been the original driver of your decisions, as one arm wrapped so gingerly around your waist, you realised very quickly that Winston Connelly was actually adorable. He smiled at you, his tan, buttery skin begging you to touch it. And the way he held you a little tighter whenever Tara passed by…

“You—uh…” After a few songs, he cleared his throat, trying to find the words to woo you. You continued swaying back and forth, but lifted your head from his shoulder. Your eyes met and a flurry of butterflies battered their wings against your ribcage. “You’re really pretty.”

The delighted smile you gave him told him everything he needed to know. You appreciated the compliment - and that was the most important thing. Without another moment’s hesitation, you leaned in, pressing your lips against his jawline, just before his ear. You felt the shudder that started at his neck and travelled down his body. A breathy laugh through your nose brought another one out of him.

“Can you take me home?”

Winston’s head snapped up, previously dreamy-lidded eyes narrowed with confusion. His dark brows were knitted together. “What? ….What did you say?”

“This,” You gestured vaguely around you, glaring at the crepe streamers and shimmery strands of tinsel. “…stinks. Can you take me home?”

As you hoped he would, your silly golden retriever boy fell right into your trap. He took the statement personally, already crestfallen from his unsuccessful evening. You’d given him a scrap of hope that he’d clung to with an iron grip.

“I - uh. Sure. Sure. Whatever you want.”

As you walked down the empty hallway, the tip-tap of your high heels echoing on the linoleum, you wanted to reach over and grab his hand and lace your fingers in between his. You were cursing yourself for never really noticing before, but he was easily one of the most attractive boys you went to school with. From the way his fawn brown hair flopped over when he walked to the way his arms swung gently with his loose, boyishly casual gait, he had created a tight, pulsing knot of arousal in your core.

With a metallic screech, the front doors closed behind the two of you, banging into place. The air was cold enough that it made your lungs ache when you breathed in too deeply, but it was a welcome contrast to your sweaty skin underneath the tulle of your dress. The high school parking lot was full of cars, though you two were the only ones outside. The only two solo losers outside.

“That’s me over there.” He threw his arm up, pointing towards a car on the far edge of the lot. Perfect, you thought. Far away from any prying eyes. Again, in complete silence, the two of you walked until you’d made it to the car. He unlocked it, and opened the side door for you. Naturally, when you hoisted up your dress and climbed in the backseat, Winston looked more confused than he did excited.

Once situated, you called out to him. “I didn’t want to go home, Winston…. I just wanted to be in the car with you.”

In one swift motion, Winston ducked his head into the car, chocolate eyes begging for an explanation. Of course, the visual he was met with short-circuited his brain. You were leaned up against the backseat window, fluffy dress tucked between your spread legs. He blinked. And blinked again.

You beckoned him with one finger.

“Wh-what?” He obeyed however, climbing carefully into the backseat with you and reaching behind him to pull the door shut. It slammed, and he jumped, momentarily throwing a worried glance back.

“C’mere,” you cooed. “…I think you’re really cute. Come. Here. ”

“You’re…. Wait, hang on. Me?”

You nodded.

“Wow, huh…. Maybe this night won’t be so terrible after all.”

Although it wasn’t intended, the way your lips curved was almost villainous. “I’ll make sure of it. Here…” you whispered. You reached for his hand, bringing it to rest atop your thighs. Since you’d already pulled the dress up, his hand laid on your bare skin. His plush lips were parted slightly. You could feel his hot breath washing over your shoulder with each shaky exhalation.

Winston blinked again. You were slowly becoming obsessed with the heavy way he blinked, like each one was his way of processing information, of taking it and committing it to memory. You hoped he’d never forget a moment of this.

“Keep going…” You yanked his hand forward more and pressed it into the pillowy cushion of your inner thighs. You pulled further still, bringing him closer and closer. As the usually submissive one, the sheer aplomb and assertiveness that you were demonstrating was staggering. He brought it out a certain dominance in you… but the reality that was glaringly obvious that if you didn’t initiate it, he wouldn’t either. He made you too hungry to drive home in silence. Dripping, frustrated silence.

You spread your legs slightly, allowing just enough space for his hand. With your thumb, ring and pinky finger still wrapped tightly around his pointer and middle finger, you pulled the soft satin of your underwear to the side. “Just…”

You gave one final pull and the pads of his fingers pressed against your clit. He yelped, but eased into nervous laughter, which then melted into a hungry moan. “You’re so… wet.”

You held him there for a moment, before hesitantly letting go. To your surprise, his fingers stayed and even ventured further down. They moved up and down so slightly, curious, almost twitching over your wet folds. Your body shivered in response, wanting more.

You nodded, brows raised high. You had to pause before answering, rolling your lips inward to suppress the laugh. The very word “wet” in that context seemed so dirty to him, you could tell it felt foreign on his lips. “Guess whose fault that is?”

“Mine?! Oh god,” he whimpered. “I’m so sorry, it’s my fault.”

Was he… joking? Was he actually serious? Bless his heart. “Winston. “

You leaned over and flipped the edge of his black bowtie against your middle finger. “What are you going to do about it?”

Your fingers laid over the bulge, stroking the crisp fabric of his black suit pants. His whole body quivered, hips forcing upwards into your hand. You heard the muted thump of his head hitting the window as he leaned back, giving into the pumping motion of your hand. It didn’t take long for his body to respond, either — underneath the rented polyester, his cock was hardening quickly.

“You like me, Winston?”

“Hhhh…huh… yeah. YEAH!” He weakly lifted his head, searching for your face in the dark. Once his eyes adjusted, he swallowed, wetting his throat, and said, “Yes, I do like you. A lot.”

You knew that he was only answering with one head, but that was okay — you had a hunger than only he could sate. You chewed on the corner of your lip, letting the slippery flesh slide in and out of the grip of your teeth. With a deep breath, you shifted, moving yourself around so that you were on your knees, ass facing him.

As shy as he was, he knew what to do — knew what he wanted to do. He shifted his weight from one knee to other, clumsily scooting closer to you. Hearing the telltale sound of a zipper sliding past teeth, you smirked and suppressed a giggle at his eagerness. Amidst frantic, repeated whispers of ‘Oh my god’ and ‘Wow’ from Winston, you felt his head press into you. You moaned breathily, pushing back against him.

“Fuck me!” You demanded.

“O-kay!”

You were only allowed a moment to admire the high-pitched, enthusiastically boyish way he replied before Winston took hold of your hips and pulled you onto his length. Moaning, you wiggled against him for a few moments, getting yourself used to the fullness he provided. Another theory proven; it was always the shy guys that were hung.

When he started thrusting, his speed made you see white, hot streaks of light and you closed your eyes, whining pathetically into the leather of the backseat. Every tribulation that Winston had dealt with that night dissipated like the smoke in that bar him and Tara had ended up at. He hung his head back with a low groan, bottoming out inside you.

The car shifted with each enthusiastic thrust, and though you did your best to meet them, the waves of pleasure were conquering you, melting you. A cacophony of high pitched moans, groans and ragged pants filled the car. You dug your painted nails into the upholstery, screaming his name as the coil within you snapped.

Without any warning Winston suddenly pulled out, and took himself into his hand, jerking his leaking cock into your hot cunt. Every few sections, he’d line his head up with your slit, collecting your wetness on it and sliding it back down.

“You like that?” You asked, already knowing the answer. “You’re doing so good… it feels so — aah!”

“—Yeh—yeah.”

You whimpered loudly as ropes of white decorated your ass and exposed slit. He collapsed against the opposite window, his chest heaving.

You flipped over, tucking your dress between your legs. Modesty and all that. “I’m real sorry about your date, Winston.”

The sweat had shellacked his brown hair to his forehead, which glistened in the moonlight. He reached up to wipe the sweat from his brow. Glazed over eyes finally refocused.

With pursed lips, he flashed his eyebrows once, lifting them high. “I’m not…. This was…. Way better. I totally wouldn’t, but if I told my friends, they wouldn’t even believe me.”

“You can tell them…. As long as you take me on a second date.”

“Second!? I’ll take you on a second, and a third, and a fourth, and a —“

You kissed him again, shushing him before he got too excited. “You have to take me home first.”

#if y’all didn’t know I am v much a Keanu girlie so #not tagging anyone cos jfhdksjfhdkjfhskjfh who tf cares about my Winston fic lmao #this was ajshdfskdjfhdks kinda rushed but like I HAD TO FINISH IT AND I LOVE WINSTON SO MUCH #Keanu Reeves #keanu reeves x reader #The Night Before #The Night Before 1988 #Winston Connelly #winston connelly x you #myfics

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