#it's been too many days of this I don't like it 😔
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tumblr's music player somehow isn't working for me anymore and i'm so sad 🥺
i wanna listen to the songs that people put on my dash and it doesn't let me and i'm just sadly tapping the player with zero reaction 😔
why am i being music-blocked? why does tumblr not want me to know my mutuals?? 🥺
#just me rambling#tumblr tumblring#it's been too many days of this I don't like it 😔#I don't know what they did to all of their media-related stuff but it sucks#music not playing#gifs occasionally just turning into permanent freeze-frames when clicking on them to zoom in#or being unable to zoom in#that weird thing where you see a blurry version of the pic/gif in the background which is very visually displeasing#the fact that swiping up/down when in the pic/video viewer leads me to different frickin' videos/picture sets#like wth is this#I'm trying to view a set and don't swipe horizontally enough and suddenly I'm somewhere else entirely#I don't like it#it also feels like things get laggy a lot more quickly than before#I'm used to some lagginess on mobile every now and then but this is annoying#and then I don't even get to listen to songs anymore#yes I could write down the title and look it up on yt or something but it's not the same and also not how it's supposed to work#I want to be able to disable the swiping thing at least#the same say you can toggle whether or not you wanna be able to swipe to switch between dashes#which I hated because I kept accidentally doing it#please give me a toggle option tumblr before I go insane#and give me my music back 🥺#the app is completely up-to-date too#but that may actually be part of the problem lol
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I'm really bad at law school 🧍♀️
#just got my mark back for an essay#buh-bye honours program next year ig#I haven't been handing anything in on time but this is the first time someone's actually picked up on it and deducted marks#IF IT'S HANDED IN THE SAME DAY JUST HOURS AFTER 4 PM BUT BEFORE MIDNIGHT WHY IS IT COUNTED AS A DAY LATE#granted this specific one was like 10 mins before midnight#but holy shit bro I got murdered in my feedback#I'm too stupid for law school honestly why the fuck am I here#yes I passed and I got a credit but that's not what I was aiming for and it's not what I would have gotten if it wasnt late#because I could have been that much closer to a distinction which would ease some pressure of the exam off#but nooo I had to get marks taken off for handing it in BEFORE MIDNIGHT#got told I don't really seem to have an understanding of corporate theory and I seem confused#it was clear I engaged with the materials But Not Enough#do you know how many FUCKING sticky notes I have in my damn textbook??#I even looked at a SECOND textbook!#and took written-on-paper-notes to try and wrap my head around the different theories that applied to the topic and how to argue them!#on top of what notes I had from the lecture slides#and you're telling me 😭 that was all just for my professor to call me silly in fifty different nicer forms? 😭#had a cry because I am Going Through It today#and I have another assignment to hand in tonight#and then another one next week#and another one the week after#AND the week after that#and then it's my exams 😔 someone please murder me
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Just posting some art from my previous account from Instagram which is @/daily_jackalope !
#jackalope#jackalopedaily#milgram#milgram jackalope#milgram project#so many silly jackalope#I draw jackalope in many interpretations do mind me#and i forget the horns alot.....😔#I STILL POSTED 300 DAYS.#By the way#the white haired girl is an oc of mine lol#FROM A FANGRAM... that has been in the works for a while.... by me yes#ITS CALLED STARGRAM ITS NOT DONE THOUGH SADLY#Maybe in 37296283826 years#I also made some edits on that account but its just two and its not really that great#im better at making edits so i might do that here also? or on my YT!#Im missing the happy 1 year anniversary one... i really like that one but i didn't draw jackalope great on it LOL#ill find and post more at a later date#i like how its all these jackalopes in good quality then theres just silly doodlealope going for the pudding on the ground#this daily will too have a silly doodle#will i flood milgram tag? i hope not and hope so at the same time and i don't know which is right#jackalopeismylifetakeitorleaveit
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small update
ok so um I got my number theory paper today, and the TA had cut marks for me because i left the answer at 66^2 and not 4356 (fermat's little theorem) 😔 I even wrote the full proof
my friend told me I should mail the TA about this, I got 14/20 and should be getting 17or18/20 😔
scores aside, number theory is so much fun, so much fun. the only good thing here is that I know the concepts well, and I fully knew the paper (still fucked it up, because I'm so frickin slow while writing and time). and it hurts worse because there's not enough proof that validates my knowledge. which in turn makes me question if i actually do have any.
I am, in general, a person who does well in concepts but screws up the exams (70% of the time) and I'm trying, I'm trying to get myself out of this "exam paniK" that I often spiral into, just minutes before the exam. I hope I change and grow; I hope, I hope.
#im so sorry for this meltdown once again#so sorry#and for the paper - many people got 20#it was actually a very easy paper and yes 20 was doable#even i could've gotten a 20 had i not screwed up the way i did#and i feel so bad to even say “had i not screwed up...” the excuse sounds horrible to my ears#well what is done is done#i can only try better next time#this course might just end up being the easiest to get an A#let's hope that I don't fuck up this one too#after seeing my paper i just returned it and came back#and my friend was like “ok. why did u not ask them why you've lost so much when the concepts are all right there on your paper?”#and i was like “um so should i ask them?” she went “YES.”#but by the time i went back to the hall the TAs had left so i have to mail mine now#and im very worried that she wouldn't change the current grading#last time i missed an A in math by 1/2 marks and i don't want the same thing to happen this time 😔😔#oh god ONE good thing can help me right now please#ru's trying#JUST 1 good thing#just give me ONE#i was so out of sorts today i slept for ~5 hours during the day and missed my calc class#i deliberately missed it though bc i wasn't feeling up to mark#i regret not going but my brain simply said no we're not there atm so maybe it was for the better#once again im so so SO sorry for the meltdowns lately#it's been bad rains and cloudy days in my head for a while now#i hope for the sun soon
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oh right u guys i start school again from tomorrow (7th sept) and it's like . a rlly important year so im gonna be way less active + running on queue from now on 💔
#don't miss me too much guys 😔#fics will probably be made wayyy slower as well#but let's face it ive been spoiling u guys seeinf as how i post every day/ every other day like#do u see many other writers doing that#yena talks#so im gonna become someone with a Normal uploading schedule now :>
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Just how big was Teng Xiao if Cirrus calls Jing Yuan a "lightweight"???
#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#I guess they don't mean it physically and more in countenance given the insults they direct to Jing Yuan#but that was my first thought lmao#I keep forgetting people here don't age so I always picture the masters old or at least like Gongshu aesthetically#so this line made me reconsider how Teng Xiao may have looked like#I always think of him‚ Fu Xuan's master and Huaiyan‚ for example‚ as old(ish) people#until the reminder of how they don't age hits me on the temple with a pan lol#The one time I saw Huaiyan art it took me a moment to place who that pretty man was because it wasn't anything like I pictured him#And then the idea that he could actually look like that even nowadays dawned on me like a punch. Same thing happened with Fu Xuan's master#Yet even after the punches I keep forgetting after two days and go on to think of them as rather old looking#only to be hit with the realisation again at some other time. Like right now xD#Super funny that he just pushes the fight on us. In line with his 'okay but why do I have to deal with this? This spark isn't even worth it#And then he pulls the 'if you lose you must answer one question without lies or tricks'. The same guy who can't be named in front of#the prisoner who collaborates with the interrogations of the Ten Lords Commission and that has a few free days yearly#This is so his way of doing things and god I love him so much for it#Odysseu.s-adjacent kind of character. A scoundrel truly in many regards‚ Fu Xuan was so right. I love him so. He should have been my fave 😔#Cirrus talked about chessboard‚ pieces and pawns. I love how Jing Yuan's opponents keep talking in chess metaphors#And how he manauvers conflict and his moves in a similar fashion yet how he draws a clear line between real conflict and a chess match#when asked if war is truly similar to a xiangqi game#Ahfksjkd I love him sooo much haha
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i was so paris in the hobbit the sofa and digger stiles this week reinventing yourself is a lie i'm the same person with new people around
#which is fine i suppose#except it's not#i'm very shy and have been for...over a decade? i wasn't shy until...i would say 8 or 9 years old. idk. but the reason why i'm shy is#literally ego and that's not a novel thing to say but it's something i was reminded of the other day. be normal. but i can't!!! because i#love myself too much and think i'm better than everyone else. it's stupid because it just makes me look weird always but i've been that way#for like 15 years and 15 years out of 23 is a lot. 15 years is kind of always a lot i think (i wouldn't know i've never been older than 23)#but yk#like that orson welles quote about woody allen that's me lowkey unfortunately😔 except i don't 'speak quietly and shrivel up in company' not#REALLY i love to talk even to many people but like idk. you would have to be there. i'm very awkward and it's embarrassing but like acting#differently has the potential to be more embarrassing except it wouldn't be because no one cares. except now i'm known as kind of a shy#person even by people i've only known for a month so they WOULD notice and be like hm... hence the reinventing yourself is a lie. well. the#next time 10+ people are added to my social circle at the same time i'll reinvent myself#at least they all know i'm funny#and like i say: brf slt
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🎹Tears on My Piano
*part of the best of both worlds series*
Driver: Charles Leclerc Genre: SMAU/Fluff Occupation: Pianist/Songwriter/Artist
☆ TAG LIST IS CLOSED ☆
y/nferrai has posted
liked by y/n.nation, charlie_leclerc, trustthefund, thewink, and 3,543,156 others
y/nferrari BEST DAY EVER ❤️❤️❤️ the dream continues, thank you for everything, I love you all ❤️🤍
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oscarpiastri congrats! it was an honor to be on the podium with you! *liked by y/nferrari
vroomvroomgirl she actually did it 😭😭
y/nwonmonaco OUR GIRL IS THE WINNER OF THE MONACO GP - COULDN'T BE PROUDER
carlossainz55 vamos y/n! *liked by y/nferrari
charlie_leclerc glad to have witnessed your win! 🤩 I'll see you again soon! *liked by y/nferrari
y/nferrari thank you Charlie! glad the lucky charm worked 😉
charlespianonote the comment was so cute - I wonder if they're together 🤔
worldof_y/n she's liked so many other comments, don't get ahead of yourself
leclercmusic but 👆 she responded back and didn't do that to her fellow drivers
l/nstappen she responded to max and lewis 😒
l/nleclerc WAIT DID HE SAY SEE HER AGAIN SOON?
maxverstappen1 great race y/n! (even if I wanted to sleep through it) I couldn't be more proud of you 🤍 *liked by y/nferrari
y/nferrari maxieeeee 🥹 thank you ❤️
charliesquared I can just envision y/n freaking out when she met Charlie since she's such a big fan 🤣
charlieputh great race y/n! I'm so so proud of you 🫶 (pls stream my music)
y/nfan Ariana what are you doing here?????????
lewishamilton congrats future teammate! you're on your way to doing big things! *liked by y/nferrari
y/nferrari LEWIS MAKING ME CRY - I CAN'T WAIT TO RACE WITH YOU NEXT YEAR 😭❤️
cary/n the Carlos erasure is terrible 😭
youry/n girl get over it 🙄
scuderiaferrari our princess! ❤️ 👑
charlie_leclerc has posted
liked by charlieputh, yamaha, y/nferrari, charliesquared, and 1,830,265 others
charlie_leclerc today I got to fulfill a childhood dream of mine that included a photoshoot and putting on a Ferrari F1 helmet! Merci Ferrari and GQ for making this photoshoot happen - it was a lot of fun ❤️🏎
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leclercs7thgrammy we've lost him to the vroom vroom people 👊😔
charliesangels models better be thankful Charles chose music and not modeling
scuderiaferrari lovely to have you again Charlie! it was great to see you and not just hear your voice 😉 *liked by charlie_leclerc
charlieferrari this just proves that y/n put his songs on their playlists
scuderiaferrari (it's the only thing she listens to 🤭)
charlieferarri I KNEW IT
y/nferrari my helmet looks better on you than it does me 🥲
charlie_leclerc nooooooooo, it could never. I think it looks best on it's driver 😊
y/ngoesvroom your honor they're sickening
charlieputh so this is what you've been up to instead of meeting me in the studio 😒
charlie_leclerc sorry mate, I was not about to give up this opportunity! (this may help us later on with the - you know 😈)
charlieputh ooohhhhhhhhh
charliesquared WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??
puth4you JOINT ALBUM KINGS? JOINT ALBUM ANNOUCEMENT TONIGHT?? 👑
vroomvroomgirl this is for all the people on twitter who complained about y/n listening to charlie. he's the biggest fan boy of all
charliepianokeys damn, never knew he'd look so good in red 🤤
taylorswift so happy for you Charlie 🥳 *liked by charlie_leclerc
maxverstappen1 would have looked better if it was blue 😏
y/nferrari 🤺🤺🤺 GET YOUR OWN MUSICIAN MAX
maxverstappen1 WHAT IF I LIKE CHARLIE'S MUSIC TOO?
y/nferrari YOU TOOK MY FIRST WIN AWAY, YOU WON'T TAKE AWAY MY ARTIST OF THE YEAR
maxverstappen1 YOU'RE STILL ON THAT? THAT WAS 5 YEARS AGO
y/nferrari AND???? YOU RUINED MY RACE
charlie_leclerc guys 🤣
piano_f1intro not l/nstappen beefing in the comments over Charlie and he's just ☺️😚
y/n16l/n do you think y/n volunteered to let Charlie use her helmet intead of Carlos?
vamoscarlos55 she probably didn't even let Carlos know that Charlie was coming 💀
f1gossipgirl I'm just waiting for the rumors to start up about Charlie and y/n
sillygeese twitter is having a field day with these two
f1wags has posted
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f1wags due to some very recent activity between Charlie and our grid queen y/n l/n, we thought we'd do an intro for a possible wag
charles marc herve percival leclerc, better known as charlie, is a monegasque pianist/songwriter/artist. charlie released his first single "as long as I breathe" in 2015, which was an overnight sensation. since then, the monegasque's online platform has grown as well as his world-wide popularity. the artist has won many awards, which includes 7 grammys to his name.
in 2023, he toured with Taylor Swift for the first leg of the Eras Tour. he had been featured on the midnights album as a writer and producer of "snow on the beach", "karma", and "midnight rain". his most recent work with the female singer was "the prophecy" from TTPD. Charlie has also worked with many other artist such as Adele, Maneskin, Noah Kahan, and Hozier. He is rumored to be in works with Charlie Puth, someone he has known since his early days.
y/n's fans started to comment on his posts after a small interaction on the driver's monaco post in may. however, they have been following each other on socials since early 2020. one of y/n's highlights on instagram has a post from April of that year where charlie's song is loudly playing in the background.
charlie has expressed that Ferrari is his favorite formula 1 team and recently did a photoshoot with the team along with GQ Magazine, which might mean some type of sponsorship from the brand.
is there something going on between these two or is it just friendly banter? 👀
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f1gossipgirl there's definitely something there, but I think they're just really good friend
worldofpiano they would make a good couple though. they're both very successful so it's not like they're using each other for gain 🤷♀️
y/nsferrarif40 y/n has also been to many of his concerts before 😊 *liked by f1wags
charlieputh forgot to mention that I've also known y/n for years, just putting that out 🙃
charliesquared he really said "I've known y/n for longer so back off"
f1_delulu not Oscar creeping in the likes 📸🤨
princessferrari at least he's better than her timothee 🤢
shewoninmonaco WE DON'T SPEAK HIS NAME 😤
oscarpiastri let's not bring him up pls
drivesincircles WAIT Y/N DATED TIMOTHEE CHALAMET?? (also hi Oscar I love you)
princessferrari yes she did but he was AWFUL
drivers&co I think Charlie is a very good good fit for y/n
l/nstappen even though I could see max and y/n together, her and charlie would be so cute
charliesangels CHARLIE - DROP ANOTHER ALBUM - AND MY LIFE IS YOURS 🧎♀️
charlieputh and charlie_leclerc has posted
liked by y/nferrari, dior, charliesquared, vroomvroom16, and 1,958,730 others
charlieputh CHARLIE - OUT EVERYWHERE JUNE 10, 2024
this album has been in work for almost a year, and it can final be yours to hear. charlie_leclerc has been my rock and bandmate for more than that time and I cannot thank him enough (even if he left me for some cars)
final stadiums will be out soon for the tour, so be on the lookout 👀
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leclercs7thgrammy oh that 8th is going to hit different after this album 😮💨
y/nsworld dang y/n was here early 🤣
y/nferrari literally cannot wait to listen to it. I'm so proud of you 🫶 *liked by charlieputh
charlieputh I'm surprised you haven't blown up my phone asking to hear it early
y/nferrari your phone is on do not disturb 🙂
ferrari_listens I just know that y/n is going to have the album on repeat
charlie_leclerc glad to have been apart of this journey with you mate. it was a blast to see you in the studio 🙌 *liked by charlieputh
charlieputh now I'll have to return you the favor for your next album
asharpcharles CHARLES ALBUM WHEN?????
maxverstappen1 great demos, can't wait to hear the entire thing
y/nferrari YOU'VE HEARD THE DEMOS? CHARLIE WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU 😡
charlie_leclerc what did I do? 🥺
y/nferrari not you charlie ☺️, the other one 😒
charlieputh MAX YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T TELL - Y/N STOP TRYING TO CALL ME
y/nferrari fine.
charlieputh thank God it stopped
charlieputh DID YOU JUST CALL MY MOM ON ME? HOW'D YOU EVEN GET HER NUMBER???????
y/nferrari 😗
charlie16 finally my town is on the list!
charliesversion definitly going to have to get tickets for the Las Vegas show since I'm going to the Grand Prix too!
y/nferrari has posted
liked by charlie_leclerc, y/nworldchamp, verstopen33, and 2,049,867 others
y/nferrari VIVAAAAAA LAS VEGAASSS
the city of sin and lights turned out better than expected and ended with a race win! thank you to all of my supporters tonight! I love you all ❤️🫶
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y/n16 finally had some safety car luck! last year was not going to repeat itself!
princessofferrari thank you ferrari for pitting under the safety car unlike last year 😒
carlossainz55 glad to have put my car in p2 behind you! one more race my friend 💪 *liked by y/nferrari
y/nferrari carloossss 🥺 I'm crying in my drivers room 😭
oscarpiastri she is because I can hear her from outside
lewishamilton does she cry often? I just want to be ready for next season
carlossainz55 si, either when she's tired, she listens to her sad playlist, or she misses her boyfriend
y/nferrari CARLOS
carlossainz55 oops... 🫢
l/nstappen3316 UHHHHHH Y/N HAS A BOYFRIEND??
charliexy/n guys - she said she loved her supports, Charlie was in her garage, ergo y/n loves Charlie. I've connected it
asharpcharles you haven't connected shit
charliexy/n I've connect it
vroomvroomgirl guys, if y/n wins the next race, she'll pass lando and finish p2 in the standings!
charlie_leclerc glad to have witness yet another race win! congrats race winner 😆 *liked by y/nferrari
y/nferrari thank you for coming even if you have your show tomorrow :)
charlie_leclerc you're attending oui?
y/nferrari wouldn't miss it! 😝
leclercs7thgrammy I can't believe I got to watch y/n win the Las Vegas Grand Prix and I get to see Charlie in concert tomorrow!
y/nferrari has posted
liked by maxverstappen1, sainztander, charlie_lelcerc, and 1,957,083 others
y/nferrari gotta lower the noise a little bit now, if he knows I'm in love, he's going to run away (but I could always just catch him in my car 🤪)
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shedrivesincircles oh girly is down bad for her boyfriend
ferrari_listens “Charlie be quiet” was her second most listen to song out of the album btw 😉
maxverstappen1 ok now I see why you like the album so much
y/nferrari I totally know you cried when they played "never see you again" as a surprise song
maxverstappen1 i did not.
danielricciardo oh he definitly did. I'll send you the proof 😂
maxverstappen1 IT WAS SAD OK - ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS THAT ONE SCENE FROM FAST AND FURIOUS
oscarpiastri you watch fast and furious?
y/nferrari YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T WATCH THEM WITH ME BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO INACCURATE
maxverstappen1 THEY ARE! LIKE WHO GOES AN ENTIRE MOVIE WITHOUT FILLING UP ON GAS?????
worldofpiano Charles in the second picture 🤤
charliesangels Charlie on the keyboard >>>
y/nferrari this makes me wanna do something while I'm in vegas 🤔
maxverstappen1 well, the car is parked by that chapel thing. we can go to the casino!
danielricciardo I say we go visit the strip!
oscarpiastri but I wanted to see the sphere 🥺
lewishamitlon guys?
maxverstappen1 you saw the sphere last year Oscar. dan they have casinos on the strip!
oscarpiastri I drove past it. that doesn't count
lewishamilton guys???
danielricciardo isn't the sphere on the strip?
maxverstappen1 oh yeahhhhh, I guess we can do all?
lewishamilton GUYS?
oscarpiastri what lewis?
lewishamitlon where did y/n go?
osco81 they lost y/n oh my gosh I'm dead 💀
pianof1_intro I wonder where y/n went...maybe she went to pick up her boyfriend?
y/nferrari has posted
liked by charlieputh, vroomvroomgirl, world_of_y/n, and 1,204,367 others
y/nferrari this was max's fault ok? the chapel was too cute to NOT get married in
11.24.24 💍
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maxverstappen1 THIS WAS NOT MY FAULT
maxverstappen1 WHY ARE YOU BLAMING ME??
maxverstappen1 everything aside, I'm very happy for you! *liked by y/nferrari
maxverstappen1 BUT STOP TELLING EVERYONE THAT THIS WAS MY FAULT
charliesangles so we JUST found out that she had a boyfriend AND NOW SHE'S MARRIED????
vroomvroomgirl she drives fast for a living 🤷♀️
world_of_y/n you're married, STOP IT WITH THE SOFT LAUNCH I WANNA SEE HIS FACE 👹
charlie_leclerc very happy for you! glad my concert could help 😉
y/nferrari hehehehehe 🤭
f1fan24 so does the grid know who he is?
oscarpiastri yes and they're insufferable together 🤢
y/nferrari HEY I don't say that stuff about you and lily 🤨
l/nstappen1633 aw man, I wanted her and max to end up together
maxverstappen1 she knows I'm too good for her anyway 😌
y/nferrari AS IF - I WOULDN'T WANT TO KISS THOSE LIPS EVER
maxverstappen1 WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY LIPS?????
y/nferrari everything.
leclercs7thgrammy I wonder if she played any of charlie's music 🤔
scuderiaferrari even though we weren't aware this would happen tonight, we are very proud of you y/n 🥰
y/nferrari I give my deepest apologies to the pr team - I love you all 🫶
charliexy/n I want to be delusional so much 😭
charliesquared the pictures are everything!
charlie_leclerc has posted
liked by taylorswift, charliesquared, maxverstappen1, and 1,204,876 others
charlie_leclerc in preparation for the January concert, I have been working on my second classical album entitled Timeless! the songs that I have composed are tailored after the year of 2024. every emotion, feeling, and presence that I felt has been molded into my music.
these songs will be played for the first time at the Teatro Colon concert hall. once the performances are over, the songs will be out everywhere for everyone's enjoyment.
thank you for your unwavering suppoooorrrrrt 😘
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leclercs8thgrammy so we win a grammy for "tears on my piano" and now we get another album? he is spoiling us
worldofpiano I'm getting tickets now, I cannot wait to hear the album in person
y/n.nation it's so weird to see y/n not in the likes or comments 😭
vroomvroomgirl she got married and vanished 🫤
shedrivesincircles didn't even go on their annual skiing trip with her team. I know joris and Andrea missed her 🥺
charliesangels there better be a vinyl so I can buy one for my record player
charlieputh congrats man! tour this year? 😗 *liked by charlie_leclerc
charlie_leclerc I don't know mate, I wasn't the same after the tour 😅
maxverstappen1 we all know why *this comment has been deleted
verstopen33 MAX? WANNA SHARE WITH THE CLASS
the_lewink guys...is that a wedding ring in the first picture 🤨
l/nstappen3316 he just wears rings all the time, could be one of his normal ones??
charliexy/n pls let it NOT be a wedding ring. we lost y/n, I don't wanna lose charlie too 😭
scuderiaferrari that's our musician! can't wait to add it to the playlist! *liked by charlie_leclerc
asharpcharlie brb getting front row tickets asap
y/nworldchamp tell me why I thought he was about to announce that he and y/n got married since he said he kept a secret from us 😭
charlie_leclerc has posted
liked by leclercferrari, charliesangels, noahkahanmusic, and 2,385,086 others
charlie_leclerc thank you to everyone who attended tonights concert. I know I shed tears earlier, but my gratitude still continues to over-pour from all the support.
timeless is now yours on all platforms 🖤
dedicated to my one and only. mon coeur, je t'aime ❤️💍
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asharpcharlie I cried during the entire thing. the music was so touching. we're so proud of you Charlie
charliesangels just listened to the first two songs and I'm already sobbing
charliesquared "when I'm with you" has my heart. no wonder it's the title song
noahkahanmusic mega job mate 👏 *liked by charlie_leclerc
oscarpiastri I wasn't there in person, but I just know you blew the crowd away mate *liked by charlie_leclerc
charliexy/n the lack of y/n is so concerning 😭
world_of_y/n she was there tonight!
y/nworldchamp I can't even find her insta anymore? did she change her profile?
leclercs8thgrammy I can smell the 9th grammy cooking rn
taylorswift very proud of the artist you've become! might have to steal you away next year 😉
charlieputh I think I already called dibs miss swift
hozier nah, he's been mine since 2021 😙
leclercferrari sorry, but I put a ring on it first 😝 *liked by charlie_lelcerc
the_lewink Y/N????
vroomvroomgirl I know y/n has already added the entire album to her playlist
scuderiaferrari yes she has 😌 it's already playing at hq
charliesquared the devil works fast but y/n works faster
y/nsworld I NEED ANSWERS AS TO WHY Y/N CHANGED HER USER TO LECLERCFERRARI??
leclercferrari has posted
liked by maxverstappen1, charlieputh, y/n.nation, and 1,053,769 others
leclercferrari growing up, I always wished I could have learned the piano instead of karting every weekend. however, if my mother had listened to me, then I wouldn't have met the love of my life.
charlie, you never cease to amaze me my love. every thing you put your heart into blooms with success. thank you for entrusting your heart to me. I hope that I can love it as much as you love mine.
I will love you until your hands can no longer play your instrument, for then I can play our old songs until our hearts no longer beat.
my pride for you knows no limits. I love you ❤️
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y/nsworld SO IT WAS CHARLES IN VEGAS???
leclercs8thgrammy oh my gosh I'm crying again 😭
danielricciardo max is crying, thought you should know
maxverstappen1 DANIEL WHY?
oscarpiastri just let it happen man and join the club 😭
maxverstappen1 fine 😭
charlie_leclerc mon amour 🥺 i will play the piano for you until I can no longer breathe *liked by leclercferrari
leclercferrari I love you so much. you can be my passenger princess until I can no longer breathe 👑
charlie_lelcerc I think I will enjoy that 😌
charliesangels so we can all agree that timeless is written about y/n
charliexy/n get someone who will make an entire album for you 😫
TAG LIST: @scuderiadevils @marauderssworld @mehrmonga @glitterquadricorn @sinofwriting @splaterparty0-0 @ayohockeycheck @evalynkillgrave @bookishnerd1132 @vellicora @misty-inferno @minkyungseokie @khaylin27 @how-what-why-huh @theblueblub @zacian117 @fly-me-away @blueblinkx-blog @ilove-tswizzle @sinnerpalace @thatgirlmj @spilled-coffee-cup @iangelofmusic @suns3treading @roszszs @2pagenumb @ietss @morgan-getty @younxii @phantomxoxo @pastryboyyy @lolzzzzzzzzzz @halleest @ggaslyp1 @skepvids @mil0sworld @u5dthsduttd @silkenthusiasts @coldcola @annispamz @fionaschicken @littlegrapejuice @boiohboii @crashingwavesofeuphoria @lancestrollsgf @tribbisweetdear @graciewrote @lozzamez3 @residentdegenerate @e-nonsense
#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc imagine#pianist Charles leclerc#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#charles leclerc smau#charles leclerc#formula 1 x you#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc fic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 smau#f1 smau#imagine smau#smau#formula one imagine#f1 x driver!reader#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you
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The Mean Girl Bully Reader x Nerd Loser Yandere story sparked another red flag reader idea I had 😈
Imagine a Bratty Female Reader x Well Mannered Wealthy Male Yandere. Unlike our favorite monster whore gal, and two-faced bully, this new reader insert is super vocal about her distaste in just about everything. Hardly anything is up to her “standards.” She not only complains, but whines too! 🥳
Then her poor beau weirdly loves her despite her horrid personality. I don’t know how, I’ll leave that part of imagining up to you, but there’s my request 🥺
I just like morally grey or blatant antagonistic readers. A lot of times, it’s more fun if the reader is attractive this way to a yandere, than having stereotypical good traits, like being compassionate or respectful 😔
So please, a Bratty Female Reader x Well Mannered Wealthy Male Yandere?
-👘
I was wondering if I should just incorporate this into the Yandere CEO draft I have, but I had this sudden idea for a downright shameless relationship between a beloved, well-respected politician and a perverted, needy brat of a Darling. (I don't like politicians but alas, I needed a high-stakes public profession for this)
Yandere! Politician x Bratty! Reader
Mr. Politician is a true rarity in his field of work: well-mannered, articulate, and most importantly, genuine in his dedication. He works tirelessly for change and improvement, earning the adoration of the people. There's only one exception to his loyalty: no country ever comes before his Darling. And what a demanding Darling you are...
Content: female reader, older yandere, NSFW, some exhibitionism
Many would describe their interactions with Mr. Politician as follows: he's disciplined, confident and resourceful. A natural born leader, you can tell within seconds of meeting him that he is a man to rely on. He's spent many years in the game, and nothing can shake him out of his signature calmness. He keeps everything in pristine order, and nothing escapes his scrutiny.
There is, however, one quirk only few select people know about. A detail no one dares to discuss. It is common knowledge that Mr. Politician has a partner, yet the particularities of it are kept private. His beloved is a much younger girl, rotten to the core. It is unclear how this pairing came to be; the day Mr. Politician won his place in his prestigious office, he showed up with the mysterious feminine figure at his side.
What's certain and obvious to all witnesses is that his vocabulary quickly discards any meaning of refusal whenever he's dealing with you. It almost feels like the man worships you. He's never alluded to being religious, most likely because that role's been taken already. His eyes soften whenever directed at you, gleaming with raw adoration.
Splurging on expensive things is a given. Money has never been an issue for someone of his status. In fact, it's a handy and convenient tool he frequently uses to dampen the damage of your tantrums.
"Disgusting", you spit between your teeth, pushing the plate away and crossing your arms. The renowned chef of the Michelin star restaurant can only stare in horror before Mr. Politician intervenes with a chuckle. "Not feeling it today, huh?", he coos at you with loving strokes. "May I ask that you bring everything else from the menu?" he says in a sterner voice to the employee. "E-everything, Sir?" the waitstaff questions. "Well, naturally. I can't let my Darling starve."
"I'm bored. Let's leave now", you mention bluntly, standing in front of the heavily ornate table with a huff. "Are you sure, Darling? It's an important meeting for the country", Mr. Politician tries to plead. Around him, the other men sit baffled, observing the outrageous exchange. "Now!" you conclude louder. Before anyone can protest, your boyfriend stands up obediently and reaches out for your hand. "Then allow me to guide you, love."
A paradox. His earnest work is put to a halt if you require anything from him. Somehow, he has until now managed to juggle the two with little effort, and to his credit, there have been many instances requiring nerves of steel. Such as you paying him an unannounced visit to the office, and disliking the fact he was unavailable due to a meeting. So, you marched over to the window and promptly flashed your chest against the glass. Everyone else was focused on the opposing whiteboard; he was the only one who immediately noticed your arrival. "As you can see, the expected result is irresistible", he continued with a professional smile, tapping the graph with a marker.
Everyone knows Mr. Politician is fervently devoted to his principles. Take his last public speech, for example. Knuckles white from gripping the podium, he'd nearly choked during an eloquent -but passionate - conclusion. His face was red, his jaw tightened. He needed a moment to recollect himself, and the public waited with bated breaths, visibly emotional. Of course, they couldn't tell the outrageous truth: that you were shamelessly kneeling at his feet, pumping and teasing his erection until, at last, he let go all over your face.
"I wanted to see if you'd stumble on your words", you explain afterwards, wiping the sticky liquid off with a damp cloth. "That would've been unpleasant", he responds with a shiver. "It was live on national television."
He does not seem too bothered by the potential risk of being caught. Truly, his nonchalance knows no bounds when it comes to you. Or perhaps it is part of the charm. There's something quite depraved yet tempting about this perpetual contrast.
To return your daring favor, he gently places you onto his desk and spreads your legs, leaving trails of kisses along the inner surface of your thigh. A quick glance down confirms his suspicions: your bare bottom lays on top of confidential, rather important documents he dutifully signed hours ago. How thrilling of a feeling! He already smiles in anticipation, picturing himself as he hands over the folder to the oblivious party. He's not breaking any rules, now, is he? Nowhere in the book of etiquette does it state you mustn't fuck your beloved on top of official papers.
You gaze at the disheveled face underneath you. "One day I'll get you in trouble", you blurt out between whines. "Me? Oh, Darling. You know I always have everything under control." He lifts himself up and gives you a quick, desperate kiss. "Including you."
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere headcanons#yandere imagines#yandere scenarios#male yandere x reader#yandere politician#yandere smut#yandere oc#yandere oc x reader#male yandere#older yandere
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the enemy of my friend is my enemy, but he's also his own worst enemy? so he's my friend? (nr6) | pt1
pairing: nico rosberg x hamilton!reader [smau]
summary: in an attempt to plan a surprise birthday party for your brother's 39th birthday, you enlist the help of his ex-??? to get into his apartment
warnings: none (i think)
a/n: unfortunately, there are too many pics so pls await pt2 😙
[masterlist] [requests]
-> instagram
y/n.hamilton
liked by lewishamilton, nicorosberg, mavxverstappen1 and others
y/n.hamilton guess who's backkkkkk....IT'S BRITNEY B*TCH 👀✌️
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user1 omg omg omg omg GUYSSSSSS i have been waiting for this day the entire year... SHE'S FINALLY BACK IN MONACO!!!
user2 i'm also in monaco rn, istg the stars are alinging for me to meet her !!!! 🤩 user 3 BRUHHHHH i wish that was me 😃😃😃 user4 i wonder why she's back though? user5 idk yk maybe to go see HER BROTHER WHO LIVES IN MONACO MAYBE???? 🙄
user6 i hope she hangs out with all the other drivers 😍 she wasn't at any of the gps this year
user7 i mean they're not really her friends, besides she was really busy this year user8 DID YOU JUST SAY THEY'RE NOT HER FRIENDS??? user7 i mean she's not the one driving in f1 is she 😐 user9 brother was not here for the grid x y/n shenanigans back in the 2010's user10 her and mark absolutely roasting the crap out of fernando and jenson for the grid penalty is still comedy gold user11 she basically adopted the entire grid after 2016, they're her babies 🤨 LIKED by maxverstappen1
lewishamilton i was not made aware of this????
y/n.hamilton sorryyyyy late flight arrangements???? 🥺👉👈 lewishamilton ok but where are you staying. i'll cancel it, you can just stay in my apartment y/n.hamilton no it's ok, i'm already staying with a friend :D lewishamilton wait whO lewishamilton don't IGNORE ME I KNOW YOU'RE STILL ONLINE user12 y/nnnnn 😭😭😭 user13 your honour they're literally the cutest yet most sibling siblings ever like girlie pop 🥲
user14 anyone else like see the nico rosberg like...or was that just me?
user15 ??? user14 ok maybe it was just me... lewishamilton what....? user16 bro's going detective mode now
friend1 Y/NNIEEEEE PLS GET ME SOME MORE CHOCOLATE FOR THE CAKE
y/n.hamilton shhhhhh you're ruining it already bro friend1 oopsie oh yeah, i forgot he actually follows you lmfao y/n.hamilton 💀 girlie plsssssss get some brain cells friend1 you stole all of mine :P user17 🤨🤨
-> instagram
y/n.hamilton
liked by lewishamilton, nicorosberg, mavxverstappen1 and others
y/n.hamilton roscoe with his favourite auntieeee ❤️
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user18 GIRLIE AINT FOOLING ANYONE FOR A SECOND, WHO IS THAT MAN IN THE SECOND SLIDE
user19 wait what???? ur kidding, ur kidding - i am not seeing no man there? user20 roscoe's looking extra cute today ☺️ user21 him in that last slide looking at y/n is devious side eye user22 @/user18 BROTHER I GOT U, THERE IS NO WAY THAT'S Y/N'S LEG user23 also y/n would not be caught dead wearing chinos in bed, it's def a man 👀
user24 OK BUT THE REAL QUESTION IS WHO??? CAUSE LEWIS IS IN PARIS SO....
user25 nahhh it's for sure whoever y/n's seeing, no way would lewis let a random stranger near his child user26 i thought y/n's been single for a while??? she got a new boo? user27 idk maybe, i mean she's been pretty out of the spotlight this year, i wouldn't be surprised
user28 ARE WE JUST GOING TO IGNORE THE NICO ROSBERG LIKE???
user29 NO CAUSE LIKE HE ALSO LIKED HER LAST POST, ANDDDD THIS IS LIKE THE FIRST TIME POST-BROCEDES FALLOUT 😨 user30 guys i think lewis might just implode if he thinks that's nico rosberg sitting with roscoe user31 seeing by his silence, i think he already has...
maxverstappen1 can charles, lando i swing by after padel practice 😄 we wanna say hi
y/n.hamilton to me or the baby? 😔 maxverstappen1 im not abandoning my grid mum like this 🤨 only lando would, considering he's ruining the wdc narrative arc right now user32 y/n and max in 2016 was peak, especially after spain 😭 AHHHHHHH I MISS HER AT THE PADDOCK SO MUCH landonorris you snooze you lose verstappen, but i would also never abandon y/n :( y/n.hamilton lando.... landonorris i let him have the padel point mother 🥲
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@charlesgirl16 @tallrock35 @sweate-r-weathe-r @unlikelystay
© the-flanuer || do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platform.
#⭑ : my work.ᐟ#the-flaneur#smau#x reader#f1#formula 1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fluff#f1 smau#nico rosberg fanfic#nico rosberg imagine#nico rosberg smau#nico rosberg fluff#nico rosberg x reader#nico rosberg x you
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omg ur taking requests!
can you do some angst to fluff with Atsumu, Iwaizumi, Suna, Kuroo, Ushijima, and Sakusa (I’m sorry if they’re too many you can choose whoever you want to write about from these characters, I luv all of them soooo much)
Can you make it like really really Angsty in the start. Like the characters doing something they’ll regret a lot and then they spend a lot of efforts making up for it? Please make it fluffy in the end, I can’t handle sad endings 😭
Also please don’t include anything with infidelity or mentions of it. My boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me last month and I’m having such a hard time.
Thank you for considering my request. And there’s no pressure to accept, I don’t mind at all.
Hi! yes I am taking requests right now. 😇 First of all, I'm so sorry that you had such a negative experience. But tbh, you're better off this way. Nobody needs such an ass cheating on them! 😔😤 My ex did that too, with my ex-best friend btw. I also had a hard time but quickly felt better because I realised that it's a waste of time to cry over such a dick. I hope you don't lose hope in a healthy relationship based on trust. There really are good people out there and I hope you find someone who can appreciate you. Sending you a lot of hugs and kisses. 🤗💚❤️🩹
And for your request. I've written three stories for Tsumu, Iwa and Suna. Unfortunately they got a bit tooo long for my taste, so I only made these 3. I hope that's okay. I really had problems making it super angsty (urg, I need more practice for angsty stuff 😵💫). As you wished, I didn't include anything with cheating (even though I had a few ideas haha.) and I also added a trigger warning before each story. I think Iwa's and Suna's in particular might be a bit darker... so you can decide on your own if you want to continue reading it or not. Anyway, I hope you still like it, and thanks for your request. Stay healthy! 🥰💚
Regretting their actions
Pairing: Atsumu x, Iwaizumi x, Suna x reader
Warning: angst to fluff, break-up (Atsumu, Suna), mention of abuse/anger issues, mention of blood (Iwaizumi), mention of abortion, mention of drugs/pills (Suna)
Part 1 | Part 2 (End)
tw: mention of break-up
You met Atsumu when he came to his brother’s onigiri store for the housewarming.
The two of you got along well quickly. And it wasn’t long before he kissed you at a party, looked at you with his cheeky grin and said, “Tastes better than a victory.”
More things happened that night. Not just simple kisses and when you woke up next to him in bed, he asked you, still sleepy: “You’re my girlfriend now, aren’t you?”
You’ve been together for several years now and were thinking about moving in together soon when Atsumu’s career suddenly took off. He was traveling abroad more often and had less time for you or looking for an apartment.
And then it happened…
You scroll through the apartment search app for something suitable for the two of you, lying on the bed while missing him terribly. You close the app to go to your messenger, only to realize that you were the one who last texted Atsumu... two days ago… Two blue check marks indicate that he has read your messages but has not replied. Your fingers hover over the keypad of your phone and you think about writing to him. Maybe he read your message during training and didn’t have time to reply. Maybe he just forgot about it afterwards... maybe...
“Hey Tsumu... I know you’re busy but, I hope you’re doing well. Love you.” you type into your phone and send the message with a strange feeling in your stomach. It doesn’t take long before you see under his name that he is online. The gray check marks next to your message turn blue, but instead of replying, you see that he went offline again. You swallow a big lump down your throat, your heart feels heavy. Maybe he can’t answer you right now... you try to convince yourself again.
Several hours pass as you sink your head into your pillow and try to stifle your tears. Atsumu’s sports t-shirt is in your arms, which he had given you before his trip abroad. Time passes and suddenly you hear the ringtone of your phone as a message arrives. Your heart hits loud against your chest as you reach for your phone and see your boyfriend’s name. But your joy quickly disappears, the lump in your throat gets bigger and you can’t breathe.
>> Hey... listen, I think it’s better if we end the relationship… break up. I don’t know, but I just don’t have time for it. I’ll see you around. <<
It feels like a slap in the face. As if this is a poor joke. You want to write to him, ask him what this is all about, but your tears blur your vision. The only thing you send is a “really?” but the message is no longer read. It remains on one gray check mark.
Two days go by and you still think it was all a bad joke, but every time you read his message, you feel like throwing up. Has he really dumped the whole relationship? By a shitty text message? You open your Instagram account and enter his name almost as if on autopilot.
Another slap in the face as your tears run down your cheeks again. His bio no longer says “Best setter and proud boyfriend” but simply “Setter MSBY Black Jackal”. All the pictures he had with you on his account have been deleted. Instead, you can only see advertising photos or private photos of him. The last eight pictures are of him, Hinata and Bokuto dancing and having fun with fans in different bars. Atsumu grins at the camera as if he doesn’t care about you at all. As if your relationship meant nothing to him.
You text him some more times, leave him voicemails because he never answers your calls. But after a few days, you let it go. It only frustrates you even more to see how little this relationship actually meant to him. For days, you cry yourself to sleep, what doesn’t go unnoticed by Osamu. After all, he sees you three times a week when you help him out in his store. When you tell him what has happened, he is also speechless, because Atsumu has really pissed him off with all his raving about you. So why would he break-up with you out of the blue? Osamu can’t see you as devastated as a heap of misery. So he also tries to find out the reason for the break-up between you and his silly brother. But when he calls him, Atsumu only faces him coldly on the phone. “Did she tell you to ask me? Leave it okay? I think I just realized that I don’t want a relationship.”
Two months go by and somehow you still can’t believe that your relationship just fell apart. Osamu tries to distract you somehow, but it doesn’t help because he reminds you too much of your idiot ex-boyfriend.
Nevertheless, you are grateful to Osamu for swapping your shift with his coworker’s shift so that you can open the store with him in the morning. That way, you avoid running into Atsumu, who is more likely to be in the restaurant in the evening as soon as he returns from his stay abroad. You’re not ready to face him at the moment.
Just as you’re about to finish work, you remember that you wanted to show Osamu a video on your phone. “Look, the new trailer for the second season of this soccer series is out. Shall we watch the first episode together on Saturday after work?” you ask Osamu as he approaches you and looks over your shoulder. He rests his hand on the counter next to you, his chest almost touching your back, but he keeps his distance from you respectfully. You are both focused on the trailer, not hearing the doorbell from the store.
Atsumu is tired. The flight was delayed, and he hasn’t been able to sleep properly for weeks. How could he sleep well with all the partying and Hinata as his roommate, who spent the night in the hotel calling his friends from Karasuno. At least that’s what he tells himself… that this is the reason for his sleepless nights. But this thought vanishes when he steps into his brother’s store hungry, actually only wanting to eat a few onigiris and then go home. Into his apartment. His empty, dreary apartment. But as he walks through the door of the store, it feels as if someone has hit his chest with full force, knocking the air out of him.
He sees Osamu leaning towards you with a sense of familiarity. What’s going on there? And why does it bother him so much that you giggle and look at Osamu, who returns your gaze with a nod and a smile before turning to the door? His brother winces when he sees Atsumu. As you turn around as well, your smile disappears.
You look at Atsumu as if you’ve just seen a corpse, before packing your bag and saying goodbye to Osamu with a “See you tomorrow.”, only to walk past Atsumu with quick steps. You don’t even give him a glance, knowing that if you locked eyes with him, your tears would run. You would want to ask him questions upon questions. Why did you break up with me? Why am I not enough for you? Why did you lie to me for so long? Why...
As you walk through the door, you accidentally bump into him. This nudge, which was actually rather gentle, felt so painful. Why does it bother Atsumu to see you standing so close to his brother? Why does it hurt him that you stared at him with those empty eyes, as if he were a stranger? No. Worse, as if he were someone who had hurt you. Why does he have the feeling that he couldn’t make a sound if he opened his mouth now? The answer is simple, and even Atsumu seems to understand it by now as he looks from the now closed door over to Osamu, who stares at him with an indifferent expression crossing his arms in front of his chest. “So this is what someone who has realized that he doesn’t want a relationship looks like? Ya look like shit.”
Oh, how Atsumu would love to punch Osamu in the face. “Why are ya touchin’ my girl?” is bitter on his tongue, but he has no right to say it out loud. After all, he was the one who turned you down. The blonde Miya suddenly realizes how incredibly stupid his action was.
Back then, Atsumu had not expected to be traveling abroad so often. At first, it was only temporary stays. Nothing that would damage a relationship.
But the last few times in particular, he was sometimes away for several months. You kept telling him on the phone that everything was okay, but every time he called Osamu, he said that your eyes were sometimes red when you came to work and that you looked tired and sad.
Atsumu knew he was the reason. That you’d probably be better off without him. After all, you’re a great woman, someone who would find a new partner quickly.
You didn’t deserve to be sad all the time when he was gone. You should be happy. After all, a smile suits you so much better than a sad expression.
Atsumu would concentrate on his career. It would be difficult for him at first, but he would manage without you. He had to… for your sake.
So his mind was made up when he read your unanswered, concerned messages. If he texts you now to say that it’s over, being an ass to you, you’ll be able to forget him quickly… That was what he thought.
But it wasn’t that easy. Your puzzled messages, your crying voice on his voicemail, broke his heart. Yet he tried to cover it all up with parties and his dear fans. He convinced himself that he was fine. Only to arrive home, see you and realize what an idiot he was, how much he missed you.
And now it’s Atsumu who reaches for his phone and texts you message after message.
Atsumu 8:02 PM: Hey babe, no.. hey Y/n. I know I have no right to text you. But please… let’s talk. I fucked up. Damn, I fucked up so hard that I don’t even know how to start… shit…
Atsumu 8:12 PM: Please… please answer your phone, babe…
Atsumu 8:44 PM: I know I’ve fucked up. I know I hurt and disappointed you. Fuck, I know I was an ass. Yk, I thought I was doing the right thing.
Atsumu 9:34 PM: Fuck… please answer me… I still… damnit.
That was the last message you received from Atsumu before you put your phone away and tried to forget him. Why is he doing this to you? Why is he stirring up your feelings again?
But Atsumu doesn’t think about stopping now. He runs to your house, to the apartment building and rings your doorbell. Once, twice, he rings so often that you can’t ignore it. You are about to tell him to leave through the loudspeaker system, but he interrupts you.
“Fuck baby, please open the door. I’m… I still love ya, okay? I always loved ya. I - shit, can ya even hear me? Fuck…” he curses agitatedly and presses the bell next to your nameplate again several times.
But instead of letting him in, you go down to the entrance of the apartment building and open the door with an expression on your face that Atsumu has never seen before. What is it? Anger, sadness, despair? Everything somehow.
“Say... are you kidding me? Do you think that’s funny?” you ask him, bewildered, still standing in the open doorway. Of course, you wouldn’t just believe him. Atsumu could have guessed. Your reaction was completely understandable. But he has to do something to show you that he’s serious.
“No, no, I don’t. I’m dead serious. Please let me explain,” he says, and starts to tell you that he thought a break-up would be best for you because he’s not good enough for you. Since you were obviously so sad about him leaving so often and he didn’t want to be the reason. He tells you that he thought he could get over you, but that he had to realize that you are the most important thing to him. Something… someone he doesn’t want to lose. With shaky hands and a still agitated voice, Atsumu takes out his phone.
“I wanted ya to hate me so that it would be easier for ya. But believe me, I... I couldn’t forget ya. Look, you’re still my wallpaper. All the photos of the two of us are still on my phone, all the memories-“ he is about to unlock his screen when his phone falls out of his hand and drops to the floor. Atsumu seems to be completely overwhelmed right now, as if he doesn’t know what to do. Should he bend down, pick up the phone, should he keep talking to you or hug you? He doesn’t know.
”Baby, please, please, I’ll do anything. Please gimme a chance. I’ll talk to my agent about not takin’ so many jobs abroad. I will be with ya more often. Always write to ya and call ya in the evening when I’m not at home. Let’s look for an apartment so we can move in together. Please, please, I would do anything. Please believe me that I love ya. Please..." he begs in a voice that becomes more and more brittle with every word. His eyes are full of emotion and his hands, which have unconsciously reached for yours, are trembling terribly.
“Two months... two months you ignored me, treated me like a piece of trash.” You say in a low voice as you search for eye contact. Atsumu has never felt so scared. Only now does he realize that the love of his life is standing in front of him, and that this might be the last time he’ll see her again, the last time he’ll touch her skin. But then again… Atsumu was an ass, so why should you forgive him? No, he can’t think like that. After all, you loved him. And if you love him as much as he loves you, then maybe there’s still hope.
“I know, and I know I can never make it up to ya. I know it’s not done with an ‘I’m sorry’. I’m the dumbest, most idiotic ex-boyfriend you’ve ever had. But... I’m stubborn too. And if that means chasin’ after ya for 10 years, drivin’ to yer apartment every day to ring the doorbell and tell ya I still love ya, wishin’ ya a good night every day, nice dreams and telling ya how important you are to me... I’ll do it. Every damn day, if it means there’s still a little hope for us.” He answers you hoarsely, keeping eye contact, hoping that you see how honest his words are.
You sigh, bend down, and pick up his phone before handing it to him. Atsumu doesn’t know what to do with all this. His face grimaces as if he’s expecting the worst. “Then... you shouldn’t lose your phone... if you want to write to me every day,” you answer him, a weak smile on your lips. Atsumu’s sorrowful expression suddenly changes and you see him looking at you with hope.
“Does that mean ya...” the blonde Miya can no longer contain his emotions as he leaps forward and pulls you into his arms. His embrace is so tight that you can barely breathe, as if he’s afraid you’ll slip out of his hands. Firm, but quivering. His whole body is shaking and you’re sure you’ve just felt something wet on your skin. Tears? Is Atsumu crying? “I promise to be a pain in yer ass every day. To text ya, to call ya, to be there for ya. Even in yer sleep. Okay? I love ya... I love ya so much...”
tw: abuse, anger issues, mention of blood
You’ve been with Iwaizumi since your school days. Back then, as a little flirt at school, Oikawa and Matsukawa mainly teased Iwaizumi for having a crush on you.
But in the end, many were jealous of the perfect couple who waltzed together on the dance floor at the prom with loving looks on their faces.
You were inseparable. Even Iwaizumi’s stay in America for his university didn’t affect your relationship. So it was no wonder that you got married after his return and were the perfect happy couple.
At least for the first few years.
The stress of being a coach for the Japanese national team is weighing on Iwaizumi’s mind. He normally handles stressful situations well, but he is under pressure.
If the team fails to perform in the next few games, he will lose many sponsors and possibly even his job.
Iwaizumi is constantly on edge and you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him so you don’t provoke him.
More often, he has sudden temper tantrums, shouting at you about things that aren’t worth mentioning. “Damn it, I told you I need this one shirt for today. Why isn’t it clean?”
And once, when you stumbled with your words and asked him whether it might not be better to take a break as a coach, he was so angry that he almost hit you. But he managed to hold back and just sighed before going out for a beer in a nearby bar.
You don’t want to admit it to yourself, but right now, you’re really scared of your own husband.
Today was another training match between the Japanese national team and the Indonesian team. The team’s performance was better, but nowhere near good enough to shine. You watched the game on TV and run through your imaginary list in your head already, of potential trigger points for Iwaizumi. You don’t want him to get upset. The laundry is done; the house is clean; the food is also ready and in the fridge. Did you take out the trash? You chew nervously on your lower lip as you walk to the kitchen and let out a relieved sigh. That’s done too.
You are just closing the lid of the garbage can when you hear the key in the lock of your front door and Iwaizumi comes home with a surprisingly normal, “I’m home, my love, smells good in here”. Your shoulders relax immediately, a smile is back on your lips as you walk cheerfully into the hallway to greet Iwaizumi.
“Hello darling! How was your day?” Iwaizumi hugs you and leans down so you can kiss his cheek. “Let me eat something first. My day has been really exhausting,” he sighs, watching you nod and turn around to warm up the food for him. Your husband hangs up his jacket, puts down his bag and is about to turn around to follow you when he stumbles against a nearby vase that you had placed as a decoration for the fall changeover. The vase swings, loses its balance and falls to the floor in pieces.
“Shit!” You hear Iwaizumi curse and immediately run to him, anxiously hoping that nothing has happened to him. But luckily, he is unharmed. “Wait, I’ll clean up the broken pieces, you eat-“ you’re about to say, but Iwaizumi interrupts you loudly. “Always this stupid bullshit you put up. Shit, I could have hurt myself. If I miss now, that’s it for my career!” he shouts and stomps past you. You turn around hastily and apologize. “That wasn’t my intention, really,” you say, before realizing that it was a mistake to talk back. Iwaizumi turns around, his eyes ferocious and angry like a wild animal as he takes a step towards you. Your heart is beating restlessly and you are suddenly afraid.
“Not your intention? Admit it, you’d be happy if I got rid of the job!” he shouts, noticing how you start to tremble and shake your head. But Iwaizumi doesn’t seem to be in his right mind as he takes another step towards you. “Go clean up the mess! Make yourself useful!” he says through gritted teeth as he looks at your anxious and puzzled face. You know you should move, but your body doesn’t seem to listen, too scared to move a finger. And then it happens.
Iwaizumi grabs you by the hair and pulls you towards him. You cry out, weeping bitterly as you hear his voice again. “Are you deaf?! Get going!” he shouts, before pushing you away with more force than necessary. You lose your balance, stumble over your own feet as you fall and hit your head on the edge of the stairs in the hallway next to the broken vase. Your head hurts terribly, something warm flows down your face, sticking to your hair and making your vision suddenly completely different. It gets smaller and smaller before everything goes black in front of your eyes and the sounds around you stop completely.
Iwaizumi is abruptly perfectly sober and only now understands what has just happened. What he has just done to you, the woman he loves more than anything.
His eyes are big as he stares at his hands, which start to tremble in front of him.
Panic spreads through him as he looks at you. At your motionless body, at all the blood under your head.
He doesn’t know how he did it. His memories are hazy, but he can still remember trying to wake you up, in vain.
He had taken off his shirt, pressed it on your head injury to stop the bleeding and somehow managed to call an ambulance. Iwaizumi can’t remember anything else, just the one question from the paramedic who put you on the ambulance stretcher and took you to the hospital. Since Iwaizumi was your husband, he was allowed to drive with you.
“How did this happen?” the paramedic asked, as Iwaizumi answered quietly, “I don’t know... I really don’t know.”
It’s now been some hours after the accident and your head had been stitched up. Thank God it wasn’t as bad as it looked at first.
You’re still in the recovery room, Iwaizumi next to your bed on a chair, his hands folded in his lap as he hangs his head in bewilderment, looking at his wedding ring shining on his ring finger.
What happened? What has become of him? He still can’t believe what he has done.
He looks at his hands again, opens them, starts to tremble, clenches them into fists and realises how he lets out a frustrated sigh, which he had been holding back, as warm tears roll down his cheeks, soaking the fabric of his trousers.
In his mind, there’s only your shaking body, that frightened look, your screaming, and then this unbearable silence.
When you open your eyes, your head throbs a little and you have to squint through the bright, clinical light. “Where... where am I?” you say quietly, looking around the room and noticing that you’re lying in a hospital room. Next to your bed is none other than Iwaizumi. But he looks different. Broken… He shrinks at your words and looks up at you. You see his red eyes and how he hesitates whether it’s okay to take your hand in his. Iwaizumi gets up from his chair, wants to close the distance to your bed but his legs collapse and he falls to his knees when he suddenly starts to... cry?
“Haji- me...” you say, still feeling exhausted. “I’m... god I...” Iwaizumi doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to look you in the eye. He takes a deep breath, regains his courage before peering at you. Carefully, he grasps your hand, checking if you are afraid, but you don’t seem to pull it away. Maybe because you’re still too tired. Awkwardly, he strokes the back of your hand before resting his forehead on it and closing his eyes briefly.
“I’m a terrible husband. I’ve done everything I shouldn’t have done. Instead of carrying you on my hands, bringing a smile to your face and protecting you from everything that would harm you, I’ve done the exact opposite. Instead of being happy to see me, you’re just scared of me, aren’t you?” he says in a shaky voice and looks up at you again. You are calm. Just stare at him with a hurt look.
“I.... I can understand if you want a divorce. If you don’t want to be with a monster like me anymore. I really can’t even blame you. But... please let me tell you one thing. When I saw you lying on the floor like that, the world collapsed inside me. I was afraid of losing the most important thing in my life. And the most important thing is not my job, no, it’s you. And I’m ashamed that I’ve forgotten that. I am disgusted with myself and I know that is no excuse. What I have done is unforgivable. But please... if there is still a bit of hope, then I will try to do everything I can to be the man you fell in love with again. I want to be your Haji-bear again. Your place of peace, and your favorite person. I will go to anger issues therapy, behavioral therapy. If it’s better for our relationship, I’ll step down as a coach and see if I can find a job as a volleyball coach at a school. No matter what, I would do anything.” Your hand becomes wet as his tears land on it. His words move something inside you. You want to believe him, you don’t want the relationship to end either, but everything that has happened so far will not pass by without damage.
“I need time, Hajime... If you really mean it, please grant me the time...” you answer him and notice how your words seem to tear him apart. But at the same time he seems to want to make the best of the situation. He lets go of your hand and stands up just to sit back down on the chair next to your bed, looking at you determinedly, his eyes still red and swollen. “As much time as you need. If it means we still have a chance...”
A few months pass. Iwaizumi has passed on the house to you and moved into his parents’ house to give you the space you need. He goes to therapy three times a week and tells you about his progress. He is still coaching the national team, but his assistant coach is taking a lot of the work off his hands and the volleyball team seems to be playing better again.
Just like when you were at school, you’ll find a letter in your letterbox once a week. Back then, Iwaizumi always told you a bit about his week and wrote it down because, funnily enough, he was too shy to talk to you in person. Only that in his current letters he writes that he misses you, but hopes that you are doing well at the moment.
He meets you in public places, goes out with you, so that you gradually feel more comfortable with him again, that you can see his progress in therapy and don’t just think it’s empty words.
Six months have passed since the incident. You are standing in the bedroom, changing the sheets, when Iwaizumi comes through the front door of the house. “My love, I’m home,” you hear Iwaizumi’s calm voice. Coming home from his therapy session, he hangs up his jacket in the hallway as your voice lets him know where you are.
Iwaizumi puts the flowers he bought for you on the kitchen table before he sneaks into the bedroom and sees you trying to unfold the sheets to put them on the blankets. With silent steps, he reaches around your waist to throw you onto the bed with him, wrapped in the covers that were in your hands earlier. Screaming, you laugh in unison with his chuckle as you look into each other’s eyes. “Hajime! Don’t scare me like that.” you laugh softly, while his hand gently tucks your hair behind your ear. Iwaizumi looks at your forehead, at the small scar that is left from your injury, before leaning forward and giving you a kiss on that spot.
“I’m sorry, but that was just so tempting,” he says, closing his eyes as he pulls you closer and just relaxes in bed with you. He strokes your back and kisses your forehead once more. “Hajime... what’s going on? Why are you so clingy suddenly?” you laugh, but Iwaizumi doesn’t join in the laughter, instead answering you seriously.
“Today, six months ago, I almost lost you. I’m just grateful that nothing happened to you. Thankful that you gave me another chance, even though I showed my worst side.” You can’t think of the right words to answer him, so you just smile, snuggle closer to him, and close your eyes. Safe in his arms, with his pulsating heart at your ear, you fall asleep.
tw: mention of abortion, mention of drugs/pills (without consent)
Suna and you were just friends for a long time. Even if the others saw you more like a couple.
You were the only one Suna didn’t mind when you sat next to him and pulled out one of his earphones to listen to music with him.
You always had the same route to school and if one of you came to school alone, you knew immediately that the other one must be sick.
With graduation, you mentioned that you might want to study abroad. That time, Suna had a weird feeling in his stomach for the first time. As if he was afraid of losing you.
That was the day he realised that he felt more for you than just friendship.
The same evening, he asked you to come over and watch a movie when he yawned in a very clichéd way to put his arm over your shoulder and pull you closer to him. He didn’t know why he was so nervous, but he just was.
A number of things went through his mind. What if you don’t feel the same way about him as he does about you? Will you still want to study abroad? Would you end your friendship with him if you didn’t feel the same way?
He tried to block out the questions and then, with his usual calmness, asked you if you could imagine anything more than a friendship. Luckily for him, you said yes.
From that moment on, everything was perfect. You had created your own little world over several years. You studied, and luckily not abroad. Suna was successful in volleyball, so you were both able to buy an apartment together quickly.
Just the two of you. Your friends were there from time to time, but in the evenings you were always alone at home, arm in arm, in the quiet flat without any noise or other people to disturb you.
Until one morning where you look at the little piece of plastic in the bathroom, stunned, when the two red stripes tell you that you are pregnant.
You hadn’t spoken to Suna about having children yet, but you’ve been together for so long now and everything is going well that you assume he would be just as happy as you are.
You thought…
When Suna comes home, you’ve already prepared a little surprise. There are a pair of baby shoes on the table in the living room, the pregnancy test in front of them and a little balloon with “Best Dad” written on it. You can’t help smiling as you see Suna walk into the room when you call out “surprise”, looking a little shy in his direction. But Suna’s reaction differed from what you expected.
Almost disgusted, he looks in your direction. “This better be one of those stupid TikTok pranks, right?” he says, and your smile disappears abruptly. Your stomach turns and you feel sick. And not because of the pregnancy. You stand there irritated, only able to utter a quiet “No... it’s not a joke”, confused by his negative reaction. “No? What week are you in? Tell me you can still have an abortion...” he says, annoyed, as he walks towards the table to see if there is any information about the week of pregnancy on the pregnancy test.
“What?” you say in bewilderment, still looking at Suna, who throws the test on the table in frustration before starting to massage his temples. “We’ll go to the gynecologist tomorrow, okay? Get rid of it. A child means responsibility. You have to look after this thing all the time, you’re no longer flexible and it’s noisy too... I just don’t want that.”
His words feel like a thousand stabs. Never have you seen Suna act like this before. You anticipated that he might be a bit taken by surprise and perhaps not be able to deal with the situation at first, but Suna seems to have a very clear opinion on the subject. He doesn’t even seem to be willing to talk. But abort a child? Let Suna’s and your baby die just like that? You can’t do that. You don’t want that.
The two of argue. Suna’s look gets progressively angrier. Yours sadder until he decides to leave the house with a “Do what you want, maybe it’ll die anyway”. Now you’re home alone with his painful words. You stand rooted to the spot in the room for several more minutes until the strength in your legs finally gives way and you slump to the floor, crying bitterly. The night, you spend alone in your bed, without Suna. He doesn’t answer his phone and doesn’t reply to your messages. You don’t hear from him the next day either, and he hasn’t come home. Thank God you get a message from Osamu, who texts you that Suna is with him and that you have nothing to worry about. But how are you supposed to stay at home without worrying if your boyfriend doesn’t get in touch with you and you’ve been arguing for days? You are scared. Afraid for the baby, afraid for the relationship and everything you two have built up.
Another day passes. You lie in bed, tired and lacking in energy. Nevertheless, you pull yourself together and get up, go to the bathroom to get ready for the day and don’t notice when the front door opens and Suna walks in. “Baby doll, I’m at home... and... I’m sorry...” you hear Suna’s voice and walk out of the bathroom. Even though you had a fight, you are still happy to see the man you love so much again. With a somewhat sad smile, he stands there, a bouquet of flowers in his hand as he approaches you.
“I’m really sorry. I behaved like an ass. You took me by surprise with the news and somehow... I don’t know. What do you say you sit down now? I’ll make us a drink and we can talk about all this. About the baby, and what happens next?” You can hardly believe his words. What has Osamu done in the last few days to make Suna suddenly do a full turnaround and be willing to talk to you openly, without shouting about becoming a parent? You make a mental note to thank Osamu later, before nodding with a smile and sitting down on the sofa in the living room.
But what you don’t know is that Suna went to a friend, a doctor, who gave him two pills before he came home. Pills for an induction of abortion. You have to take one now and the other two to three days later.
Suna knows that you wouldn’t take these pills voluntarily.
So he makes sure that you are indeed sitting in the living room before he takes out a small bag containing a pill, puts it in the grinder and turns it into a fine powder before mixing it into your iced tea.
He takes a deep breath, putting his smile back on as he walks towards you in the living room, where you are already waiting for him with happy eyes.
Without saying much, he hands you the glass, sits down next to you and watches you.
“I know it’s all so sudden and I could have said it differently. I really took you completely by surprise with the news,” you say quietly, looking at the iced tea in your hand, unaware that an abortion pill is floating there.
Suna listens attentively as you talk about how you first had to understand what a pregnancy means, but that your overwhelm quickly turned into joy because you are looking forward to holding a mini version of the two of you in your arms in less than 9 months. You talk about all the beautiful things that are going through your head, while Suna continues to listen to you, his eyes constantly focus on the tea in your hands and you.
He keeps looking at you as you raise the glass and press it to your lips, ready to drink the poison cocktail, when he realizes what he was doing. What he’s trying to do here.
Panic strikes him. His green eyes widen as he literally knocks the cup out of your hand. It falls to the floor with a loud thud. “Don’t drink that!” he says in an unsteady voice and looks at you in horror.
But you don’t understand anything, only shake your head.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I... I think I just made the worst mistake of my life,” Suna says, looking back from you to the broken cup. You don’t understand what’s going on and tilt your head, asking him if everything is all right. But when Suna continues talking and tells you what was in your tea, your world collapses. You are shocked that your own boyfriend wanted to do this to you. “I was overwhelmed. I... I know that’s no excuse. But when I heard you talking, I realized that -“ Suna wanted to continue, but your voice cut him off, your words silenced him.
“Let’s break up,” you say, and unlike before, unlike when you argued a week ago, your voice is determined now, your eyes full of pain and betrayal. Those green eyes that used to mesmerize you are now looking at you desperately. “What?” Suna whispers softly, followed by a “No, wait”. But you interrupt him again.
“You just wanted to give me some drugs without my consent so I’d lose the baby?! No, Rintarou… I’m breaking up with you. That... no, I can’t do that.” Abruptly, you get up from the sofa, ignoring the hand that tries to grab you before quickly slipping into a jacket and a pair of shoes just to leave the apartment. Suna wants to run after you, but his legs won’t move. His mind and heart are screaming to run after you, to stop you and tell you he’s sorry, but his body just won’t obey him. When he finally manages to get up, you’re already gone.
Still wearing his slippers and without putting on a jacket, he eventually runs out to check out all the places you love, all your friends, to see if he can find you somewhere. But no matter where he looks, he can’t find you. You don’t reply to messages or phone calls. The mechanical voice of your voice mail greets him directly. “Shit, shit, shit!” he yells as he stands in the park where you two had your first official date. The surrounding people look at him. Some with an irritated look, some as if they were pitying him.
Without really knowing where to go, your legs automatically led you to the bus that goes to Kita’s home.
Kita was one of your best friends back then. And you knew that if you went to Kita and told him not to tell Suna that you were there, he wouldn’t tell his friend either. And that’s exactly what Kita did.
You were in Kita’s guest room when you heard Suna’s voice in the hallway.
He sounded shattered, broken, as he begged Kita to tell him where you were.
This went on for several weeks, until one evening Suna rang the doorbell again, trying to talk to Kita in a voice you had never heard before.
His voice was so thin, so fragile, as if a heap of misery was speaking out of him.
Kita tells him once again that he doesn’t know where you are when you hesitantly open the door, thinking about going downstairs and listening to what Suna has to say. But for now, you just listen to the conversation.
“Please, Shinsuke, I know you know her location. Please, just give her this. Please...” Kita sighs, followed by a soft “ok...” before the front door closes. Your best friend’s footsteps creak beneath the floor as he walks up the stairs, looks at you a little twisted and hands you a large package.
You know that you demand a lot from Kita. It’s not easy for him to lie to his friend either. Eventually you have to talk to Suna.
Alone in your guest room, you spend almost half an hour looking at the unopened package at the other end of the bed until you finally decide to open it. When you see what’s inside, surprise catches you. Multiple emotions flow through your body without you even noticing how your eyes suddenly turn glassy. Small letters and several items are in the box. You take out the letter that is on top of all the other items.
“My love, I don’t even know where to start. I can’t apologize for what I did. Nevertheless, I want to tell you that I’m sorry. I was confused and scared. Our relationship has always been perfect so far and I thought it was great that it was just the two of us and that no one else disturbed our privacy. I was afraid that when we had a child, we would argue, have no more time for each other, and grow apart. I was selfish and didn’t think about how you would feel. I wasn’t thinking about our baby. The thought that we were both going to be parents hadn’t crossed my mind at all. But every time I walked past those little shoes you had placed in the living room, I couldn’t think of anything else but seeing our child standing in them. How it tries to move around in it, sometimes falls down because it loses its balance and seeks shelter with its beloved mom. I regret every second of what I’ve done, every word I’ve said. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do, and yet I did it. I am sorry. I am so terribly sorry.
I did some research. Did you know that it is currently very difficult to find midwives? You should probably start looking very early on. My team colleague gave me the number of the midwife he and his wife had at the birth of their two children. I also have three other numbers. You might want to give them a call. There are also birth preparation classes in our town. I have also put a brochure in the package for you. You don’t necessarily have to go there with your partner. With me… So... if you want, you could also go there with Kita, even if I would be happy if we both did it together. But I can understand if you don’t want to.
Are you eating enough? You should pay particular attention to your diet during pregnancy. A lot of women suffer from a vitamin deficiency during pregnancy. But you have probably already discussed this with your gynecologist. Anyway, I’ve written down a few recipes for you that are rich in vitamins. I admit that Osamu helped me a little with this. Oh, and on the back are some things you shouldn’t eat during pregnancy. Raw eggs and products containing them such as ice cream, mayonnaise and so on... you should not eat them, because the risk of salmonella infection is high. Peanuts can contain aflatoxins, which can also harm the fetus... but as I said, I’ve put together a list for you. In case you didn’t already know all this already. There are a few other things in the box. Maybe you’d like to take a look.
I hope you are doing well. I hope the baby is doing well too. Have you thought of a name yet? Do you know whether it will be a boy or a girl? I’m sure there’s already a little bump on your belly. I... would really like to be with you right now. Would love to hold you in my arms and stroke your tummy. I know I made a mistake that can never be fixed. But if you’re willing, if that’s what you want, I’d really like to be by your side again. And if not as your boyfriend, then as the father of our baby. I would like to do couples’ therapy with you so that we can find our way back to each other… So that you can trust me again. Because in all of this, I was the problem and never you. But only if you want it too, of course. I know it may be hard to believe, but I love you. So much that a life without you scares me. I am sorry…”
You’re crying bitterly by now as your tears blur the ink on the letter before you put it aside and look in the box. Next to a small onesie for babies, there is a note with the telephone numbers of midwives, a small book with recipes, the brochure he had mentioned and another box containing photos and memories. Pictures that Suna had always secretly taken of you at times when he thought you looked extra pretty. You always found the photos embarrassing, but for him they were beautiful to look at. Because they were moments when you were just being you, not smiling for the camera or doing anything else to disguise yourself.
There was also a necklace with shells on it in the box. You made it for Suna when you were on vacation in Croatia. It turned out incredibly ugly, yet Suna wore it proudly during the whole vacation. You’re touched that he still has this ugly necklace. Little notes that you wrote to each other at school are also in there. So many more memories from the past. Where had Suna hidden this little box in your apartment so that you never noticed it?
You hastily get up, open the door and run down to the hallway as Kita comes out of the living room and looks at you questioningly. “Is everything all right? Do you need to see a doctor?” He asks concerned, but you just shake your head, wanting nothing more than to see Suna, talk to him again. He asks you if you are absolutely sure, but your determined nod is enough for an answer. So he grabs his jacket and car keys, driving you straight to your ex boyfriend, to your apartment. He doesn’t want you to take the bus in your current state.
Suna is sitting in the living room. In front of him on the coffee table are various reports on pregnancy, parenting and more. His head is leaning on his hands as he takes a deep breath. Have you opened his package yet? He wonders, unable to think clearly, when he hears the key in the door lock and runs into the hallway as if stung by a tarantula. His eyes are wide as he looks at you, standing rooted to the spot in the doorway, not knowing how to react.
“Shinsuke... Drove me here...” you say. “I opened your package.” You continue, watching Suna swallow hard, still not moving an inch from the doorframe. “How are you, the baby?” he asks quietly, almost absent-mindedly, as if he can’t believe you’re really standing in front of him. “Good... can... can we talk?” you ask and watch him nod, having trouble sorting out his feelings. You take a step towards him, clearly seeing the dark circles, the red eyes, the slightly thinner face, as if he has lost weight. And on closer look, you can see his whole body trembling.
“Is everything you wrote in your letter true?” you ask him, trying to keep your voice as calm as possible, even though you’re at your wits’ end. “Yes, yes all of it. I’m sorry for everything... I want nothing more than to see you happy. To see our baby happy. And if you want another partner by your side to be happy, if you don’t want me in your life, then I will accept that.” Suna whispers, knowing that if he were to speak even a little louder, his voice would fail and he would cry. You take another step towards him. “What if I want you? Want to give it another try?” You have barely spoken your sentence before you hear a bitter shuffle from Suna, which he seems to have been suppressing the whole time. His shaky hands carefully reach for your face before he presses his forehead against yours and says softly, “I would wish for nothing more than that.”
Although you hesitate for a second, you finally put your hands around his back and stand with him in the doorway for a while. Neither of you says a word. Both of you let your tears run until Suna releases you at some point and gives you a kiss on the forehead. “You shouldn’t stand for so long. You’d better get some rest,” he says in a somewhat steady voice before helping you out of your jacket and leading you into the bedroom, where he pushes the sheets aside so you can lie down.
“Rin, but I’m not tired at all...” you say, even though you are exhausted, but Suna lies down right next to you, pulling you close while his free hand moves to your stomach. “I know... But... let’s just lie here like this for a moment, regain our strength before we talk... Talk about everything, our future, how I can make it up to you, our little baby… Agree, baby doll?” He whispers tiredly. Yet you also notice how all the crying is slowly making you a little tired. “Agree, Rin.” you smile weakly, snuggling closer to him as you both fall asleep arm in arm, his hand protectively on your baby bump, your hand on his.
#haikyu x#haikyu x reader#haikyuu x reader#atsumu x reader#suna x reader#iwaizumi x reader#iwaizumi haijime x reader#atsumu miya x reader#suna rintarou x reader
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🩰🌸My first manifestation success story🌸🩰
I really want to thank @pinkchrissysposts , I took her advice of affirming and her tips for affirming is really amazing too it's been about a week we last texted I send her ask but she left😔.
Also her tip for affirming is pretty amazing I'm gonna copy paste what she recommended me.
"OK here when we get random negative thought we start believing in which cause us to get in the negative state,we are not looking for the proof in the 3D,it's just a random thought we unconsciously start to dwell on by re affirming it,you might notice that when we are ina negative state,we also get positive thought like "no it's not true I'm just overthinking" but again you start negatively thinking despite the fact that everything is OK because you choose to believe in that random thought that's trying to scare you.
So when you are affirming for your desire example 'good skin' even if the 3d is showing you something else ignore it and rather embrace the positive thought/affirmation,believe in the affirmation. When we focus on believing the affirmation rather then looking proof you will realize what wish fulfilled really mean,you can try out a small or even big desire but remember manifestation should be fun,take it as a fun challenge and affirm for whatever you want and remember what I said not for 3d but to just believe it as a fact."
I'm so thankful for her advice,she recommended me to take a break and calmly decide what I truly want,and I finally decided to affirm just as she recommended and I notice so much changes after a day of robotically affirming.
Basically what happens is when you are more focus on trying to believe the affirmation rather then making it 3D,the 3d does start to feel useless or powerless,even when I was sweating,I wasn't worried about it,the affirmation "I never sweat" start to feel more powerful then the 3D. I just affirmed it for fun robotically not to see it in 3D but to believe in it AS A FACT and that lead me in the state of wish fulfilled.
From my very own experience what I think happens is that when we affirm and put our whole attention on just believing the affirmation instead of paying attention to the 3D and looking for results,we detach from our desires or you can say outcome all we want is indeed just the feeling of having the desires. When I did what she suggested I stopped getting doubt because all I had to do was believe that I have my desires,even if I don't have it in the 3D,my subconscious got fooled because it doesn't have any eyes and I got my desire in 4 days I haven't sweat in a week and everyone keep asking what perfume i use:).
As someone who have aphantasia this was such a 360° for me,when I was in was practicing states it was really hard when bloggers would tell me even with aphantasia people can manifest,I would get frustrated and cuss at their text,and my faith and trust on loa was starting to fade but i decided to give affirmation a chance and i read many a +p posts but no one ever recommended and motivated me to affirm like how chrissy did. I'm gonna be starting my void/shifting journey since I now know exactly what to do.
I will be post my void progress on my main account @jujubaaevoid
Xoxo <3
#manifestation#loa#affirm and persist#void state#law of assumption#manifesting#desire life#shift#states#wish fulfilled#embody states#shiftblr#loablr#loa blog#affirm and saturate#saturate subconscious#subconscious reprogramming
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I WANNA BE YOURS | WOSO X READER | PT 13
pairings: woso x reader
summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.
part: thirteen
part one here
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
liked by ellatoone, alessiarusso99, leahwilliamsonn and 5000 others
yourusername: i'm so proud of you guys!! euros champions wooh!! 🤍💙
lottewubbenmoy: 💙💙
ellatoone: tysm!!
alessiarusso99: 💙💙💙
leahwilliamsonn: nahh what is that photo of me ↳ yourusername: lookin buzzin ↳ ellatoone: buzzin fr
stanwaygeorgia: still can't believe you wore that old rusty metal's jersey instead of mine 😔 ↳ lucybronze: it's because i'm her fav ↳ stanwaygeorgia: you wished
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
(doing a bit of timeskip and let's pretend it's been like around two months since the euros bcuz yeah)
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ guys look at what leah and i found this morning
stairway YOU GUYS WENT WITHOUT ME ?!
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ well i was gonna offer you but leah said you were busy
stairway WHAT NO I WASNT
willlybum oh well that's so sad
earpsy so this is why you were late to training
willybum i forgot we had training
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ more like wanted to forgot
willybum oi don't expose me like that
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ :)) so how's training going
neev y/n save me from this torture we'll go to nandos together and drag jessie along too
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
neev added flaming hot
flaming hot stoppp not this nickname 😭😭 and we can't go to that nandos place anymore did you two forget? we're banned from last time
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ and who's fault was that miss flaming hot
flaming hot i blame niamh for all that
neev bruh you were literally the one that said you could handle the flaming hot sauce fleming and then practically screamed dramatically about how you were dying which got us kicked out
flaming hot I WAS NOT DRAMATIC AND YOU WERE THE ONE THAT PEER PRESSURED ME IN THE FIRST PLACE
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ it was incredibly funny ngl i mean you couldn't really tell the difference from jessie's face and her national jersey colour
flaming hot stop ittt you two are meanies it literally wasn't that bad i recovered fine
neev um you were literally crying the whole day jessie
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ and we had to buy you like twenty iced drinks for you to finally cool down
look this is you finally calming down after your twelfth drink
neev yeah not our fault you can't handle any spice flaming hot fleming but we're still kidnapping you and taking you to another nandos place tonight
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ we sure are
flaming hot i'm gonna pull a houdini
lotte oooh i wanna come along to nandos!
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ you're very welcome to
stairway me too!
neev absolutely not
stairway excuse you how can lotte come with you guys but not me?!
neev bcuz she isn't annoying like you are
stairway
neev
elton no wayy you guys
willybum oh my god i do not have the effort for this today what is she going to say
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ oh no
the REAL karate kid
ona batlle uh should i be scared?
kie very much
flaming hot what is happening?
stairway
elton did you guys know that you can lick someone's elbow (also known as their wenis) and they can't feel it
lotte righttt of course i needed to know this
flaming hot HELP WHAT 😭😭
neev the fact that i just saw georgia look at me after reading that seriously concerns me
the REAL karate kid unfortunately it's true 😭😭 she licked my wenis
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ ..... yeah i have no words
ona batlle 😭😭
steph what the hell 😭😭
rusty metal i wondered why everyone stopped working out and started looking at each other ella, i do not wanna know why you know that, and can everyone stop trying to lick each other's elbows it's freaking me out 😭😭
kie i'm convinced ella has no thoughts behind those eyes it is just elevator music. on repeat. all day. every day.
stairway i think lucy's wenis needs a licky lick
rusty metal georgia get the hell away from me
elton ALSO if you look at any object near you right now you know in your head what it would feel like when you lick it like the texture and stuff
mccard nahh that's insane i haven't licked everything near me so why would i know how it would feel?
lotte why did i just see rachel and millie taking glances at each other
rusty metal GEARGIA ISTG DONT YOU DARE TAKE A STEP TOWARDS ME CAN YOU ALL PLS STOP TRYING TO LICK THINGS WITH YOUR IMAGINATIONS Y'ALL ARE FESTY OMG 😭😭
esme NAAAHHHHH WHY DID NIAMH ACTUALLY JUST LICK SOME STUFF TO CONFIRM IF SHE IMAGINED IT RIGHT THIS IS SO WRONG 😭😭😭
flaming hot of course she would do that 😭😭
meado
steph is this just a daily occurrence for you guys? is this normal?
door knob i'm sad to admit that it is
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ i'm kinda glad i'm not near any of this rn
flaming hot fr
neev well i wanted to know if my brain was tricking me or not
esme you didn't need to lick it tho mate 😭😭
neev
alex nahh i'm done i'm leaving the gym just saw daly start walking towards bright like she was preparing to lick her i can't witness this today 😭😭
kie why am i not surprised that it's ella that started this again?
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
ona batlle amen to that
steph seconded so glad kyra and charli aren't in this chat to contribute to this chaos omg
flaming hot amen fr 😭
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ omg kyra and cha cha! we need to add em in here too
stairway wait a sec y/n YOURE NOT BRITISH?!
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ nopee lived in england almost all my life but proud aussie here 💪🇦🇺
steph ayeee 🇦🇺
willybum i cannot believe this
elton you're an imposter fr
neev and here we thought you were one of us
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ heyy i am an honourary lioness member isn't like lessi half italian?
thet REAL karate kid yeah?
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ see and she's playing for england i can support both the lionesses and tillies
willybum okay but now that the wsl is starting the more important question is which club do you support?
stairway oh yeah
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ oh uhh i gtg do something really important rn talk to you guys later! bye!
neev y/nnnnn dont forget our nandos!! i'll be waiting!!
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ i won't! better be prepared fleming
flaming hot oh no
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
part fourteen here
#lionesses x reader#woso x reader#engwnt x reader#auswnt x reader#arsenal wfc x reader#engwnt#auswnt#woso#woso imagine#leah williamson x reader#alessia russo x reader#ella toone x reader#niamh charles x reader#georgia stanway x reader#lotte wubben moy x reader#katie mccabe x reader#steph catley x reader#esme morgan x reader#woso fanfics#jessie fleming x reader#ona batlle x reader
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22 with toji? >___< i love mamaguro but sometimes i be thinkingggg..
˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱
𝐇𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦
A/N: ughhh ikr 🤤😔 ik this goes without saying (hopefully) but y'all don't cheat 😵💫 read fiction about ur fave anime boys cheating with u instead lmao
Wc ≈ 800
Pairing: TOJI Fushiguro x f.reader
Summary: you and Toji getting up to no good in your favorite hotel room
Warnings; 🔞 mdni, smut, infidelity, pns (baby, slut, bitch) cheating kink, slight size kink, nasty dirty talk, slightly mean/rough Toji, taking condom off (mutually consensual), breeding kink, slight hairpulling, one ass slap (why is it always just ONE lmao), kinda rough/manhandling but not rlly, daddy kink, prone bone/from the back, lmk if i have missed anything <3
♪ i keep going back to this hotel room...
Damn you, he thinks while squeezing himself into a condom that’s very slightly too small for his size.
You’re to blame – to blame for being spellbinding, bewitching, entrancing, irresistible, alluring… he never thought about straying until you showed up one day in the office, pretty smile and naughty glint in your eyes.
“Fuck me…” he seethes when he sinks into your tight pussy – so happily spreading your legs for him on the hotel bed. With how many times you two have come and gone through this room on weekends, you’re pretty sure the receptionist has figured out what happens behind those closed doors.
“ ‘s so fucking sexy when you arch your back like that for me, pretty thing.” Toji grunts, splitting you wide open on his cock. “ ‘missed me?” he asks cheekily, feeling how much you’re gushing for him after such simple touching earlier – he had kissed you like he was starved of the taste of your lips, touched you like he’s never laid hands on a female form before. It made sense why he acted so needy, you hadn’t seen him for two weekends straight after all.
“Mhm! Missed you so much…” you moan into the pillow, bringing your hands down to spread your pussylips so you can take his cock better.
His cockhead always glides in so nicely, but halfway in his length got so thick that your pussy just spat his cock out. He always chuckles when it does.
“ ‘been too long, baby, ‘gotta stretch out that pussy all over again. Make it remember daddy’s cock.”
Toji tightly pins your waist down into the mattress, just feeling a fraction of his strength turns you on. Yeah, you’ve met strong guys before – but Toji was fucking strong. He could toss you into any position he wanted, he could make you feel weightless at times.
Those calloused hands know your body better than your own. He knows which sweet spots to his to make you cream, what pace makes you claw at his biceps, what dirty talk makes you cum. He knows everything about your body. He almost doesn’t wanna admit it, but he knows your body better than his own wife’s.
“Fuckin’ slut, look at you going dumb on my dick already. Keep it together, we just started.” He chuckled meanly, giving your ass an encouraging smack to bring you back to earth. “What? ‘This position too much for you?” he asked rhetorically – because he knew damn well that you couldn’t handle him pressing his weight onto you from behind like this.
“Nooo, I can take it!” you squeak, biting the hotel pillow as you hug it for support. He always feels so good that you need some form of comfort. The feeling of his fat tip nudging against your sweet spot and throbbing there makes you say some nasty shit that makes him smirk. “Fuuuck – just fuck me alre – fuuuck, mhm! Like that! Like that!” you sob into the pillow when he fulfils your wishes and pounds into you from behind like an animal.
He grabs a fistful of your hair and gently pulls your head back, making his lips meet your ear – scar grazing against your skin. “Don’t go all quiet on me. I know how fucking nasty you are – what’ve you been wanting to tell me huh? I know you missed me bad.”
His cockhead hits the spot that makes you spill the truth. “Fuuuck – daddy fuck me like I’m yours.” You said, “F-fuck me like I’m your wife.”
“Shit… dirty fuckin’ bitch, you talk like that and you’re gonna make me cum.” He breathes heavily into your ear, sweat already beading off his abdomen with his intensely he’s rutting into you. “You really like me, huh? Haha, yeah, I know – it’s so cute. So cute that you cum so much on this cheating cock. Uh-huh, don’t get shy on me now – we both know we get off on that. Just be honest with yourself – there we go, that wasn’t so hard to admit, was it?”
He groans, big arms entangling with your body. You can feel his muscles twitching, you can smell the scent of his cologne and sweat and sex all mixing in the air. And him? He’s burying his head into the crook of your neck to inhale your scent. Your perfume drives him nuts, it makes him dizzy like he’s some lovesick teenager.
Everything he holds back from telling you, he admits when he’s pussy-drunk and about to cum. “Fuck, sweet thing, ‘wanna give you a baby. D’you want that? Yeah? F-fuck really? You sure? You want my babies? Shit alright, I’ll give you a fucking baby t’night. Don’t tell her it’s mine.” He said, tugging his cock out of your pussy despite your walls hugging him like they were trying to keep him in there forever.
You reach behind you and pull off the condom yourself, and he just watches, half-drooling at the sight, before plunging back inside you and doing what he promised – giving you his babies.
#♥️ 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎 — 伏黒甚爾#⚠️!! cheating kink#mdni#smut#toji#toji fushiguro#toji smut#jjk#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jjk x reader#toji x reader#toji x female reader#toji x you#jjk toji#fushiguro toji#jujustu kaisen#dilf toji#toji x reader smut#daddy toji#toji fushiguro smut#toji imagine
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Hello! I usually don't post much here in these ask Boxes, but seeing your writing style made me have thoughts about ..... I don't know if you saw TFE(earthspark) but if so, can you write something about megatron?? 😘👍😔💅 (I'm literally addicted to everything you post)
Haha I do adore Rory McCann’s lovely, growly voice.
Give Up/Give In
TF Earthspark Megatron x Reader
• That mad laughter rings in his processor as he transforms and reaches, only to find Skywarp already gone. Weapon fire slamming into his back right before Starscream slams into him, driving him down to the ground. He’s dimly aware of brakes squealing, something colliding with his ped. Humans screaming and running from the fire fight, but there’s no time to lure the Seekers out of the middle of town. They’re darting away before he can bring his canon to bear. The three clever enough to know that he’s stronger, but they’re faster. All they have to do is keep moving. Servos tightening into a fist, he bares his denta at Skywarp. “Come on then!” He roars in challenge.
• They came from out of nowhere, Cybertronians fighting. Sure you’d seen this sort of thing on TV, but it was always a distant horror. Something that didn’t happen in your town. Slamming on the brakes, you hear tires squealing before another driver slams into your sedan, caving in the driver’s side door as pain sears through you and then your head is snapped back when the airbag goes off. From far too close, those massive aliens are brawling, and you watch the gray one step on an abandoned car flattening it and not even noticing. Clawing at your seatbelt, you see the guy who hit you stagger out of his truck. “Help! I’m stuck!” You scream at him and he hesitates. For one brief moment you think he’s going to actually come over, then something explodes and he’s running away. Leaving you.
• There’s guilt there in the back of his processor as he fights his former allies. His followers who believed in him. Needed him to be their rallying cry for change. For a better life. Understands their hatred and how they see his actions as betrayal. But he can’t let the weight of his failures cripple him now. A blow to the back of his head. A kick to his shoulder. Weapon’s fire to the face. Staying out of reach, because they know as well as he does if he gets his servos on them it’s over. And just like the last two times in as many days, the attack stops. The trio warping away without any clever words or sneering. Looking for weaknesses. Testing him. Baring his denta with a snarl, he steps back and something crunches under his ped, a ragged noise of pain freezing him.
• The ruin of your car tips up slightly as that massive foot steps on the hood. It’ll step back any minute, crushing you and never even noticing. Then that foot moves and he’s crouching down. Megatron. How many times have you seen this one on TV? The reformed warlord. Huge fingers grip the roof of your car and just pull it away so easily. Glowing red eyes staring down at you as he frowns. “Easy, little one,” he says and that low, growling voice rolls over you. When he wrenches the door from the car frame, you become aware of the pain and the wetness at the same time, a ragged scream tearing from your throat.
• There’d been no time to worry over the humans and, if he’s being honest, he hadn’t spared them any thought at all. While he protects Dorothy and her family, the rest have never actually mattered to him. Just more collateral damage of the war. The little human’s screams taper off to a panicked wheezing as he breaks the seatbelt and lifts them free. The red blood making him remember Dorothy hurt, bleeding out and still trying to fight. Defiant. You’re not her. Trembling in his servos, eyes wide and terrified as you look up at him. “Please,” you whisper and he’s frozen. Because you need him and he isn’t sure what to do.
Next
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If you do take requests at this moment, can I request a Hualian x GN reader where reader feels like the third wheel, and when Hualian look further into reader, they find out that reader is hurting themselves/trying to change in the way they look
That Hualian would baby reader, like take sharp objects out of arm’s reach, or spoon feed reader when it’s time to eat. Giving reader kisses and words of affirmation every time they’re around
Lol, I’m feeling very angsty, but if this request is a little too far, you don’t have to do it (I hope you’re doing great! Make sure to drink enough water!) 🥰
Shape Shifting Heart
HuaLian x gn!reader
Ignore grammar mistakes
Slight OOC
Made up looks about reader for plot
Tyyy Pepsi zero has become my hydration 😔🙏
Also I'm so sorry for disappearing but I've had like the worst few months of my life ever so 😃🙏 bear with me
____________________________________
Being with Xie Lian and San Lang is the best thing that has ever happened to you. There's so much love to go around with three people and everyone is always taking care of each other! So you never listened to people being hateful about it, whether that be other gods or ghosts. You guys are happy and that all that matters right?
What happens when all of you aren't happy, when it's just one person bringing down the mood and the whole relationship? That's how you've been feeling lately. You haven't been much use to Xie Lian and San Lang these days. Often, you've been curled up in bed and staying hidden under the covers. For what reason? They don't know. You won't talk to them, and while Xie Lian and San Lang pride themselves on knowing you inside and out they can't figure out what's wrong.
You can't tell them. It's kind of embarrassing, humiliating even. How do you tell your lovers, "I feel like the third wheel, I feel neglected and left out" to the two kindest people you've ever met. Everything you do seems to make it worse and you're trying your best so you don't understand why it seems to put your relationship more on edge.
You had honestly just wanted to sulk and pout for a few days in bed over something silly. When they stopped visiting the bedroom it became a problem. All you do is lie here so what could possibly have made them want to leave you alone? You aren't even doing anything to warrant them off! Xie Lian and San Lang easily coddle each other all the time so why don't they think to do it with you? They stopped coming to the shared bedroom, even going as far to sleep in another bedroom together, but by themselves without you.
It only made you feel worse, are you so depressed and off putting they don't want to be near you now? Sadness becomes frustration and it fuels you to get out of bed in what has been weeks. You leave the room disheveled and groggy hoping to find one of your lovers to receive some affection, to you it feels like you haven't had in forever.
You find them together in the kitchen, an awfully domestic scene. Xie Lian cooking dinner and San Lang attached by the hip. The way San Lang holds Xie Lian's waist and stays close while Xie Lian bustles around the kitchen. Where you had once been and would usually love to hear the sound of their laughs and love filled giggles all it sounds like is mocking joy of what you once felt. How many nights has it been like this? How many nights have they been content without you?
"Making dinner without me?" You pipe up, leaning against the kitchen counter. Making dinner is a silly thing to be upset about. A part of you feels awful for being so jealous but the other doesn't. It's not like you're jealous of San Lang or jealous of Xie Lian. You don't spite a specific person. You're just jealous of the love they share, of their bond. You're envious of their happiness, you just want to be included too!
"Ah, y/n!", Xie Lian gives a wobbly smile, "Of course not" Xie Lian didn't know how to bring up that they've been trying to give you space. He doesn't know how to say it in a way that would sound reasonable to you. These days you've been a little irritated and you easily take words they say but add a whole new meaning to it. They know it's not your fault, it's one of your episodes maybe.
No one moves. They don't know whether to extend a hand to invite you or not but you seem to take it upon yourself. You walk closer and stick right up to Xie Lian's and San Lang's side. The tension - you can't tell if you're imagining it or not, you've been imagining a lot these days - is thick. "Well I feel a little better so I'll join from now on, what are you making?" You try to make conversation, you try to move closer in hopes that the domestic scene will just continue.
It doesn't. The room is tense and so are your lovers. You hate it. It makes you want to lash out, cry, and scream. Xie Lian and San Lang seem to be walking on eggshells around you and you don't know why. You've never gotten angry with them before, you've never been violent or aggressive with them so why are they acting like you're a ticking bomb?
San Lang attempts to break the tense atmosphere first. Wrapping hesitant hands around your waist and nuzzling into your hair, hair he will not mention is a bit notty. "We missed you" he murmurs into your long, bright locs. "We're glad you feel better" this seems to get the night moving smoothly again. It's pathetic how quickly you melt into San Lang's touch and preen at his words. It finally feels like you're included in the domestic picture they make.
The three of you eat dinner and enjoy it, Xie Lian's cooking has been getting a lot better but that's probably because you and San Lang were in the kitchen to help him. You're filled with a deep satisfaction when Xie Lian gently grabs your hand and all of you go to your shared bedroom together. Xie Lian pulls you into bed and They cuddle up next to you under the covers, placing gentle kisses on your face and shoulders.
You feel suddenly energetic because of the affection you're receiving. Making you giggle and kissing them back with new found passion. You won't lie you guys haven't had sex in a while so. . . You easily climb on San Lang, and straddle his hips. Kissing him eagerly and nipping against his lips. They weren't expecting you to be so eager but who are they to deny you.
Xie Lian gets behind you and slips off your robe, running his hands over your body. Your back, arms, hips, and thighs- your thighs. Xie Lian's hands freeze, and moves his hands as if he's been scalded. The sudden movement catches San Lang's attention and he sits up but he keeps you in his lap. "Gege what's wrong?" San Lang stares at Xie Lian and suddenly all the attention is off you. Somewhere inside you, you feel a little miffed at Xie Lian's reaction.
But you're concerned too so you turn your head to your other lover with concerned eyes, however Xie Lian is the one staring at you with pity. He turns on the light and sits next to San Lang. "His thighs, San Lang. . ." You scrunch your face. Of course that's what Xie Lian reacted so strongly about. While you were rotting in bed you were feeling so down in the dumps. So- so maybe you took it out on yourself and used your sword on your own skin.
It's not that big of a deal, they're already healed and just remain thick scars across your thighs but it matters to your lovers greatly. They've explored your body many times, and they know these are new. "Baobei, what happened?" Xie Lian cups your face with gentle hands but you turn your head the other way. You're irritated the night has stopped over something so trivial. "Nothing important, I was just feeling upset a few weeks ago, it's trivial now. Can't we just- can we not focus on that?"
Your face is scrunched in irritation and you try to roll your hips against San Lang but he removes you from his lap and onto the silk covers. You groan in frustration. The night was going perfectly and now it's all messed up! San Lang's eyes narrow as he gazes over your legs, and you swallow nervously. "This isn't something we can just ignore Y/n. You know that. . . Let's stop here for tonight" If it were San Lang saying it you wouldn't have minded as much but it's Xie Lian.
Xie Lian loves San Lang's body even with the scars on it so why won't he love yours?! "We don't have to stop! Just- ignore it, would you please?! I can get rid of them, I can look like whatever you want me to be! " You never notice when you start heaving for breath, when tears line your eyes and you try to cling to one of your lovers. You don't notice when you subconsciously change your body into something else because it's something you've always had the power to do.
So when your skin becomes smooth again, and unmarked it's something you don't even look over. But for Xie Lian and San Lang it's completely different. It's like looking at a stranger's body. Like looking at somebody who's never worked a day in their life, someone who has never gone to battle, something you are not but you're desperately trying to be. You have no scars, and the callouses on your hands have disappeared. They've memorized everything on you and now you've made yourself look completely different.
To you, it feels like they look at you with disgust and anger. You're breaking down and it's not something you're even registering. "Y/n stop!" San Lang gives up on keeping you on the bed and he lets you crawl into his lap, he cups your face with surprisingly gentle hands that contradict his angry voice. "Breathe Baobei" he rubs comforting circles into your hips and Xie Lian rubs your back. They're trying to get you to breathe and to stop hyperventilating.
San Lang never looks away from you, and he plants tiny kisses in your cheeks to get rid of your tears. When did you start crying? You don't remember. You eventually calm down from listening to your lovers instructions and their loving touches. When you're finally breathing normally again and the tension leaves your body they try talking to you again. Xie Lian rubs his fingers through your hair, he doesn't like how you've easily changed yourself. He misses your bright locs not the dark ones you've decided to take on. He kisses your head. "I want to talk to my Y/n now. Can I?" Xie Lian asks sweetly.
You've always been you but he wants to talk to his lover not the made up version of yourself. You sniffle and San Lang pats your waist. You take the encouragement and change back to your original body. When you make a weird noise in your throat that sounds close to a sob Xie Lian wraps around you and kisses your nape. "That's good Baobei, we're proud of you." San Lang and Xie Lian glance at each other and in that moment decide to drop the topic about your new found scars. They can only try to find the root of the issue now.
San Lang kisses your forehead and then below your eyes and then your lips. "Tell us what's wrong?" San Lang poses it as a question. As in, you don't have to but it would greatly help them if you did. You feel pathetic and selfish. You don't know why you broke down over something so silly and foolish. "I-I felt, I felt like a t-third wheel. You guys seem so happy without me and all I do is mess up, I'm sorry " you start to cry again and you rub at your eyes harshly but San Lang holds your wrists gently and keeps them away from your eyes.
Xie Lian kisses your shoulder. "There's nothing to be sorry for baobei. No one's at fault." He runs his hands over your thighs, making circles with his fingers. "We didn't mean to make you feel left out, we just wanted to give you space. We thought that's what you needed" Xie Lian explains softly. You nod and sniffle. That's more reasonable than whatever your mind came up with. San Lang pulls you closer by the waist. "If we make you feel like that tell us Baobei, we'll fix it immediately" he says with narrowed eyes. You know he isn't upset with you and he's probably beating himself up for not being able to tell. You kiss him deeply and sigh against his lips.
"M'sorry, I know you love me I just- my mind tells me awful things." You whisper in San Lang's lips and kiss him again. San Lang grunts and playfully tugs a piece of your hair. "Should I beat it up for you?" It makes you giggle.
🦊🪷
For the next few days and even few weeks they baby you endlessly. Xie Lian keeps an eye on sharp objects and makes sure you can't get into the weapons room. He also confiscated your sword and he won't even let you hold knives in the kitchen. The only sword you're allowed to be around is E'ming and they know you wouldn't do that to him or San Lang.
They have no problem with dragging you everywhere they go and often San Lang likes to feed you during meals. At first you blushed and insisted you could do it yourself but San Lang waved your concerns away and said "Let me take care of you". They coddle you a lot and one of them is always in the room with you. You know now that you need to work on your communication and not let your mind get to you. It was a big misunderstanding but San Lang and Xie Lian treat it as if it was a genuine problem.
You're suffocated with love but you wouldn't change it for the world.
#tgcf#tgcf headcanon#hualian#hualian x reader#hua cheng x reader#tgcf hua cheng#tgcf hualian#tgcf x male reader#tgcf xie lian#xie lian x reader#mxtx tgcf#tgcf angst
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