#it's been a soap opera basically

[hypnagogics]

ur fic made no sense, ts was unrealistic af

my friend i hate to break it to you but that is the way the legend goes 🤯🤯 it's meant to be unrealistic, because the myth is intended as a lesson on how love can become obsessive and take away our rational thinking, as well as a lesson on just how important communication in relationships.

[thegoblinpit]

Me? Trust the government?

[virtue-boy]

ahhhh I gotta say it I Saw the TV Glow was really mid sorryyyyyyyy

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

These are a couple doodles from yesterday, Gideon as a younger teen, before the growth spurt, maybe 14? He's discovered he's a vampire, and has a lot of recovery to do, since he's severely blood deficient.

I'm gonna let myself explode about my vampire gideon ideas, under construction, under the cut: (I don't write fanfiction, I just throw up my ideas on a tumblr post, apparently :'D)

This is what I love about tumblr - it's a place where I can throw the doodles (something that isn't finished *artwork*), and let myself be really delusional about fictional characters. So I'm gonna take a moment to ramble about the ideas I have for Gideon as a vampire.

If you're a fellow Gideon Head, HI THERE... anyway, here's my thought process on a potential vampire-gideon backstory???

I've always liked the idea of gideon being a vampire, and also becoming a much better person when he's older. And that got me thinking, maybe those two things are linked. Maybe the vampire thing is somehow tied into his reformation.

But I tend to lean towards building my ideas off canon (as opposed to making an AU). And if gideon was a vampire, and knew this during the events of the show, it would have come to light at some point. So, either he doesn't know he's a vampire, or he becomes one later. Becoming one later works narratively, but he's already so vampiric, with the white hair, pale skin, sunscreen, evil, etc. So I'm like, let's go with that.

So, gideon has gone his whole life without knowing he's a vampire, and without drinking blood. I'm thinking that being a vampire in this case (my gravity falls fan version of what a vampire would be) wouldn't adhere to typical vampire conventions. You don't NEED to drink blood to survive.

Here's the idea I got yesterday: after the events of weirdmageddon, gideons experience motivated him to become a better person. It was the awakening, basically. But in the subsequent years, he's still a little shit. Maybe he's in juvenile detention, or prison again. But now, he has the self awareness to know that what he's doing is wrong. This is where my ideas get a little fuzzy, so bear with me. Bud has his suspicions, and as a last resort, puts gideon on some sort of mission trip type of cross country trip, when he's in his teens. And along the way, maybe at the end, there's this secret group of vampires that open gideons eyes to what he really is.

Basically??? Without blood, gideon is very evil. He's an evil little shit. This may not be how it is for every vampire. Maybe some grow very sickly without blood, just get hungry, etc. The effects of blood deficiency vary from vampire to vampire. But Gideon becomes very unhinged. And he'd essentially been Blood Hangry for his whole life. That being said, some of it was just his personality that he needed to work through, but drinking some blood helped a LOT. Blood isn't food for him, it's more like his medication.

Once he has that discovery, he spends a long while, I'm thinking maybe even a year, just recovering from the deficiency. He's almost always drinking blood to keep up his levels, and he's very rarely seen in public to keep the vampire thing a secret. That's what these drawings were supposed to be, him in his pseudo bedridden state. This period in his life would be one big blur; mostly spent binge watching soap operas and being all cozy. In contrast to his usual suit + tie, he's dressing for max comfort: sweatpants, sweatshirt, a knit hat over his ridiculously big hair, and always wrapped in a blanket. Not sure if somehow he feels cold when drinking blood?? But for some reason, I feel like he'd always be wearing like 10 layers and laying under a heated blanket or something.

Eventually, he'd only need to drink blood about once a month for maintenance.

Character development wise - even as an adult, Gideon isn't sure if he's truly a good person. Is the blood deficient version of himself the true gideon? Or is this well adjusted man who he truly is? And there's an issue of the chicken and the egg, too. Gideon was born a vampire. Did these genes activate because he was predisposed to being evil? Or did the vampire thing happen by coincidence? Does being a vampire make him evil, or is it the other way around? He doesn't know, and he never will.

The one thing I'm not sure I like about this idea: i'm worried that I'd be writing off his villainous personality as an illness that can be cured with a thing. Obviously, it would be better if he faced that head on, and figured out how to be better. So I'm still grappling with that. But for now, this is an idea I'm entertaining. Of course, I think it would be interesting if there was a plot point where his usual source of ethically sourced human blood was compromised for a time, and he had to grapple with his personality going topsy turvy.

It's actually embarrassing how much I just wrote???? If you've made it this far, wow, I applaud you. I guess this was just my idea of having a good sunday night, writing down my silly thoughts on gideon gosh darn gleeful. Let me know your thoughts too!!!! I'd love to know if you have any ideas, or questions, or ways to strengthen this potential backstory.

[catboysalmon]

Birthday...approacheth. strange feelings accompanying

[dreamsteddie]

Steve H.

Part Two, Part One

Okay, I started the last post with a "Haha wouldn't it be funny" which turned into a long, not-so-funny rant. So! Here is the funny part!

Steve is Dustin's brother and Claudia's son in all but law. He lives with them, calls Claudia mom and refers to Dustin as his brother, takes them to all his school events until he graduates and helps pay the bills after high school. Claudia never pressures him to apply to colleges he doesn't even want to get into or makes him feel like he has to move out any time soon when he turns 18, so he stays and gets a part-time job at Scoops where he bonds with Robin for life.

At the same time, drop out Eddie and his uncle Wayne move to town when the power company transfers him to the plant in Hawkins. It serves them well since Eddie needs a fresh start after getting tossed out of school without a degree for unjust reasons. He needs some place where he can make friends and get a job without his reputation hanging over his head, and Wayne would never abandon his nephew.

So they land in Hawkins and Eddie finds his feet by visiting the library and happening upon a gaggle of kids commandeering one of the reservable conference rooms for DnD. They're are a few older kids closer to his age there too, but the curly-haired one is definitely running the show.

Meanwhile, Wayne has failed to mention to his nephew that the main reason he agreed to the transfer uncontested was because he hit it off with one Claudia Henderson at a diner after a fishing trip and has been dating her without Eddie's knowledge for 8 months. He breaks the news to his Nephew when he starts making plans to propose and wants to introduce Eddie to Claudia and her sons before he does. Wayne loves Claudia but Eddie comes first and he wants to make sure they'll all make a good family.

So they go over to the Henderson household for dinner one night, Wayne having wrangled Eddie into a black button-down and jeans without holes so Claudia doesn't think he raised a ruffian.

Dustin answers the door and immediately freaks out because he's so excited. He's met Wayne before and so has Steve so he knows things are serious and there's a good chance Eddie becomes family down the line.

Yelling in excitement the whole way Dustin drags both men into the kitchen where the root of all Eddie's troubles can be found.

Steve.

He immediately starts bitching at Dustin about acceptable volumes, towel over his shoulder and hands on hips and Eddie is Gone. Sent. In the stratosphere and immediately smitten. He's lost in the clouds planning their own wedding until reality crashes back down on his head as Steve extends his hand and introduces himself as Dustin's brother.

Eddie, of course, does not know that Steve is not actually related to anyone in this family legally or otherwise and no one thinks to clue him in since they're all so accustomed to the family dynamic.

If Google had been around in the 80s Eddie's search history would be full of "Is it illegal to date my uncle's step-son? NOT RELATED BY BLOOD" "how many degrees of separation in the family tree is acceptable?"

Que Eddie desperately trying to suppress his crush and not ruin his uncle's happiness by wooing his almost step-cousin ew like he really wants to.

But it's so hard! Steve is so beautiful and kind and dorky and a little weird and basically everything Eddie could possibly want in a boyfriend! Eddie wants to bite his freckles and hold his hand so badly but he won't ruin Wayne's future marriage because he kissed his future stepson like they're characters in those soap operas Claudia likes. He won't!

And then to make matters worse Steve seems like he really wants to bond with Eddie. He's always asking him to hang out wether that's going to the mall to hang out with his best friend Robin or swapping tapes at Claudia's house or showing Eddie all his favorite spots in Hawkins. (Steve is very much dropping hints that he wants to date Eddie who he's 96% sure is into him but Eddie is too caught up to notice)

It comes to a head on the day of the engagement. Wayne enlisted all three of "his boys" to help set up a nice dinner party with their closest friends, something Claudia has always mentioned wanting to host, while Joyce invites her out for some shopping and girl time. Steve and Wayne do most of the cooking while Eddie and Dustin are on set up picking up the flowers and pulling the nice table setting down from the attic before separating to get dressed in their nice outfits.

It's like a moment from a fairytale when Steve walks down the stairs and smiles at him. He's so fucking handsome it makes Eddie's heart ache with the cold realization that he's fallen completely in love with a man he can't have. Eddie can feel a prickling behind his eyes but he brutally shoves the sensation down. Today isn't about him.

Eddie puts on a happy face. It's not hard, he is truly happy for Wayne. His uncle deserves the world and both him and Claudia looked so in love when she said yes. He just wishes it didn't have to mean never having the man of his dreams. Eddie sticks the party out and he thinks he did a pretty good job hiding his mood right up until Dustin barges into the basement where the hideaway bed lives. The plan was always for the whole new family unit to stay the night so Eddie heads down as soon as it is acceptable to fall face-first into the pillows and trash around a little bit. Maybe even scream. Sue him, he's heartbroken.

That's how Dustin finds him and he immediately starts crowing that he knew something was up with Eddie. He starts pestering in true Dustin fashion until Eddie inelegently blurts out "I'M IN LOVE WITH MY FUTURE COUSIN IN LAW!"

Dustin blinks at him for a few minutes while Eddie freaks out because he's been so good only for Dustin to bully a confession out of him the day his uncle got engaged like a jerk!

But then Dustin is literally rolling around on the floor howling with laughter and Eddie has never wanted to strangle someone and disappear at the same time in his whole life. He's about to start asking Dustin what the fuck is up when the younger boy sits up and says "He's not my real brother!" at which point it's Eddie's turn to blink at Dustin in silence.

Dustin explains that while Steve is definitely his brother in all the ways that matter he's not actually related to Dustin or Claudia, nor was he ever legally adopted.

Eddie hardly lets Dustin finish his story before he's booking it up the stairs to Steve's room with a truly unprecedented display of athleticism on his part. He franticly taps on the door, aware enough to avoid banding on it like he would like to lest he disturb the newly engaged couple down the hall.

Steve opens the door, eyes wide and slightly frantic. As soon as his eyes meet Eddie's they disappear from his eyeline because Eddie has dropped to his knees, hands clasped together, and begs "Mary me!"

Of course, they don't get engaged that night. Eddie kind of just panicked and said the first thing that came to his head, but they kissed and began to date with the full blessing of their weird little family.

[g1rld1ary]

5 people james didn't mean to kiss (and one he did) ; james potter x fem!reader

➻ first james fic!! i love reviving old fanfic trends <33

➻ word count: 4494

➻ synopsis: says it on the tin baby!

➻ warnings: swearing, allusions to sex/dirty jokes, era typical homophobia (basically nonexistent)

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

James Potter was a very affectionate person, everyone knew that. His love language was absolutely physical touch — everyone knew that too. It was also assumed, therefore, that James Potter had an extensive list of kisses. That assumption wasn’t necessarily wrong, but a good chunk of them weren’t exactly what you imagined when thinking of the great James Potter kissing someone. They were often impulsive when he didn’t know how else to express his feelings. His very first kiss, for example, wasn’t exactly the cheesy, romantic soap opera that he often advertised providing for girls.

Sirius Black

The Marauders sat in their dorm room, early on in second year. While first year was packed with ridiculous adventures and the forming of their friendship group, second year brought a new awareness of girls, romance and especially kissing. That was the topic of discussion as the boys all packed into one bed, hypothesising about what it might be like. James and Sirius led the discussion with much bravado and false confidence whilst Peter looked decidedly scared. Remus, to his credit, just looked rather amused at it all.

“But where do you touch her?” James asked, eyes still wide and innocent and twelve years old, “I can’t just stand there with my hands at my sides like a twat!”

“Don’t be stupid, you hold her like this.” Sirius bent his arms in a direction that looked borderline painful. Remus huffed and climbed off the bed, pulling both the boys with him.

“If you’re gonna kiss a girl,” Remus instructed, “You have to hold her gently. Don’t push her around like she’s dead weight. James, put your arms around Sirius’ waist like that, now Sirius, you put your arms around his neck.”

“Pete’s gonna think we’re bent,” Sirius grumbled, a red hue on his cheeks.

“You are bent, you poof,” Peter quipped from his spot on the bed. He was right, of course, but that wouldn’t come to light until fourth year. James thought this was hilarious though, and began miming exaggerated — rather sloppy — kisses. And since James never failed to cure Sirius of his moods, he did the same. Remus rolled his eyes as the two boys acted out a passionate scene, loose tongues and all, until they were no longer acting.

All four boys in the dorm were frozen as James and Sirius’ mouths had accidentally connected in their stupidity, none of them sure what to do. Seconds passed as the two stood, lips locked against each other, no one daring to move. At least, until Remus let out a long, uncharacteristic wheeze, which dissolved into a fit of giggles that he would usually be mortified by, but there was no way he was outdoing the kiss anytime soon. Peter followed along momentarily, laughing so hard barely any sound actually came out, silent heaves punctuated by gasping breaths.

Released from their stupor both boys leapt apart, wiping their mouths with their forearms. Both had comical expressions of disgust, still slightly too stunned to verbalise any of it.

“We,” James heaved, “Can never speak of this again. Ever.” Sirius agreed in a heartbeat, still unable to completely wipe the blush from his pale complexion. He probably would have dwelled on those feelings if James wasn’t James, beginning to see the humour in it soon enough. By the end of the night it was an inside joke that would proceed to be referenced countless times within the walls of Hogwarts.

So although James would tell the story of his first kiss quite differently — he alleged it was with a Ravenclaw named Keeley a few weeks later, his proper first kiss will always have been with one Sirius Black in the Gryffindor dormitories on an otherwise unassuming Tuesday evening. And that secret was held onto dearly by all four marauders until, of course, Sirius’ best man speech at James’ wedding, where the anecdote received uproarious applause, loudest of all by James himself.

2. Remus Lupin

The Marauders had all known about Remus’ ‘furry little problem’ since their second year — first for the most perceptive of the bunch. Nevertheless, the group were insistent in helping Remus in any way they could, though it was a difficult task when his alter ego had no resistance to killing them. Until Sirius had come to them with the idea of becoming animagi. It was difficult no doubt, advanced magic far beyond the teaching at Hogwarts, but the four of them were exceptional wizards each in their own way, and the project seemed somewhat manageable with four brains chipping away at it over the course of two years.

When they finally did get it, hardly any of them could believe it, least of all Remus. He had never imagined that the human side of him was worthy of this much love and devotion, let alone the monster within him. However, despite how they tried to play it off, the achievement didn’t come easily to any of them. Sirius was the first to get it, big black dog accompanying the group around the castle and becoming an unexpected staple of the Gryffindor common room. You in particular liked to cuddle up with him on the couch and spoil him with head scratches when you were stressed from school — at least until the secret was revealed and you hit him upside his human head for deceiving you.

James was second to get it, though much less gracefully than Sirius. The whole group of Gryffindors had been hanging out together down by the Black Lake, enjoying the slowly warming weather after class one day. James had the misfortune of being sat between you and Lily, which made things very confusing for his hormonal body and brain. His eyes were trained on his hands, too afraid to actually talk to either of you and embarrass himself which was what usually happened. You and Lily, however, were hell bent on making that occur. While James had had a well known crush on Lily for the last few years, ever since you’d come back to school that year post-puberty you could both tell that James was both emotionally and physically confused. You both delighted in this and used it to your advantage, Lily finding him the most annoying man on earth and you delighting in his flustered expressions (secretly finding him actually pretty cute).

After thirty minutes of torture, James couldn’t take it. You’d made one too many dirty jokes directed at him and he was a blushing mess, fidgeting awkwardly between you and Lily laughing gleefully. He excused himself quickly and uncharacteristically quietly, hurrying off to be out of sight of his friends. You all laughed as you watched him go, and Remus reluctantly stood, muttering something about making sure James didn’t drive himself crazy.

Remus headed straight to the Forbidden Forest, knowing the privacy would be what James desired in the moment. Sure enough there he was, taking a moment to breathe against a tree.

“Easy there, Potter, don’t cum in your pants,” He joked, obviously amused by the whole ordeal. James turned quickly, devastated at Remus seeing him so sexually frustrated.

“Sod off, Lupin. It’s not my fault! They both just sit there looking so fucking good, talking about all these unholy things and you expect me to just be fine with it? It’s so—” Instead of the exasperated groan Remus expected, he was met with a stag standing tall in front of him. He couldn’t help his mouth dropping open, the animal far more magnificent than he could have expected out of the fourteen year old boy.

In a weird shift of figure the deer was back to boy, and James only had a moment of shocked stillness before he was whooping and yelling in the grass. Remus joined him, the two of them yelling and dancing around like idiots in their joy. James pulled him in for a hug, appropriately masculine until he pressed a kiss onto Remus’ lips, still grinning ecstatically as they pulled away. Remus scowled in a way he hoped was convincing.

“I hate it when you do that, Potter,” He grumbled as the two of them returned to their friends.

“Yeah, right,” James laughed, pushing his glasses up his nose. “It’s a blessing to be kissed by my sexy arse.”

3. Peter Pettigrew

While all four of the Marauders were undoubtedly exceptional wizards, that didn’t always translate into their grades. For example, being so ahead in the curriculum made James Potter get lazy, often submitting subpar essays simply because he figured it was already common knowledge and he was more interested in higher level magic. He always ended up with top grades from outstanding extra credit projects, but the point still stood.

Peter was similarly a great wizard. Perhaps not so much a prodigy like James or Sirius, and didn’t dominate the class ranks like Remus, but he did well for himself and was pretty exceptional in Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures. However, he was failing History of Magic. All four of them had chosen the subject for their OWLs, assuming it would be an easy O because of the ghost professor. They couldn’t be more wrong. Binns was a useless teacher and Peter especially found it difficult to teach himself the material just from the textbook, and was falling dreadfully behind, each essay earning a worse grade than the last.

James had offered to help tutor him before their exams, and the two buckled down in the library almost every day in the weeks leading up to exam season. Peter made pretty good progress, eager to catch up with his friends and prove he was on their level. Still, everyone was nervous for the test and its outcome.

When results were released, you and the Gryffindors were all together. Whilst you and the girls all got the reveal over and done with, the boys all waited with bated breaths. Most of the grades weren’t shocking — three of them knew they could easily get top grades from the little effort they put in, but they were all waiting on Peter’s History of Magic grade. The blond boy opened his paper with shaky hands, eyes scanning frantically over the information contained. Slowly he raised his head, nervous smile apparent.

“I got an A,” He said, and within an instant the boys were on top of him, congratulating him with strong hugs or by clapping him on the back. James grabbed both of his cheeks, pressing them together and pushing a kiss onto Peter’s lips.

“Prongs!” Peter moaned, pushing his face away half-heartedly.

“I’m just proud of you, Wormtail,” He cooed, appearing much like his mother whom you all adored.

“Oi, Potter,” You interrupted, waving your sheet of results around. “I got an O in Potions — where’s my kiss?” James immediately broke your eye contact, and you pretended you weren’t charmed by his embarrassed little smile. He mumbled a response that had his friends ripping him to shreds, egging him on whilst simultaneously teasing him and his alleged manhood. He pressed a gentle peck to your forehead and you raised an eyebrow.

“Not what I meant, but ok.”

4. Regulus Black

Regulus Black had a difficult relationship with the Marauders, to say the very least. By his fifth year — the rest of the boys’ sixth — Sirius had been at the Potter’s for months and Regulus was still reeling from the impact. He was noticeably quieter and more sombre than in years previous, and a dangerous resentment for his brother and his friends bubbled under his skin.

James Potter connected these dots quickly. However, he didn’t really know what to do about it. He wasn’t sorry that Sirius was living with him, but he didn’t like that Regulus was left all alone with their wicked parents, regardless of their personal differences. That brought James to you.

You sat together on the couch, his head resting next to your thighs, curls just brushing against your skin in a way that you couldn’t stop thinking about. He was lamenting about his mental struggles as you worked on your crochet, thinking quietly as he rambled on.

“Why don’t you just talk to him?” You asked suddenly, and James tilted his head to look up at you, holding back his laughter at your upside down appearance.

“What?” He asked, “I can’t talk to him, he hates me!”

“When has that ever stopped you before? Lily hates you and yet you bother her all the time,” You said, smile playing on your lips.

“That’s not true!” James protested, “I don’t bother her that much anymore!” You rolled your eyes playfully and turned back to your craft as James continued to ponder the situation.

As usual, he decided you were right. And so he sent a short letter to Regulus, asking for a meeting on the Astronomy tower at midnight. Surprisingly he’d agreed, and the two boys were standing awkwardly across each other on the tower. Regulus refused to start the conversation and so stood in silence, staring down James in an effort to scare him off. James wouldn’t be deterred.

“I just wanted to talk about what happened last year,” He said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose nervously.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“C’mon. I know we’re not friends, but I also figured none of your friends are the talking type either. So, I thought you could talk to me — full confidentiality. I don’t know, blame me, yell at me, I just don’t want you to do this all by yourself.”

“How sweet, Potter,” He sneered, “But I don’t need to talk about any of my feelings.”

James Potter was nothing if not persistent.

“Ok, well if you don’t want to talk, how about you listen?” To his surprise, Regulus stayed. One perfect eyebrow raised, he slowly sat next to James, legs dangling over the edge of the tower. After a gesture for him to go on, James started. He began to talk about the process of having Sirius live with him, the feelings they both had about it, and the guilt they both felt about leaving Regulus alone. At that Regulus looked up, eyes pooling with hope.

Then without any warning, Regulus was talking more than James had ever heard before, spilling what he supposed must have been the younger boy’s darkest secrets and vulnerabilities. James was unprepared, not actually expecting him to engage. At one point James had put a comforting arm around Regulus’ shoulder, words failing to express any of the feelings he had inside. Regulus didn’t pull away as James expected, instead only starting to cry. James just watched in disbelief as Regulus cried into his chest. Awkwardly, James arranged himself to press a gentle kiss to Regulus’ forehead right as Regulus moved to look up and speak, resulting in a ridiculous kiss between the two of them.

They jumped apart in less than a second, both with horrified looks on their faces.

“Oh my God—”

“That was an accident I swear—”

“I’m really sorry—”

“I was just trying to comfort you—”

Both boys stumbled over their words as they clambered up to their feet, putting a strictly heterosexual amount of space between them.

“Um, I’m just gonna go,” Regulus settled on, backing up towards the door.

“I’m seriously sorry, Black. It’s just something I do — doesn’t usually backfire like that.” Regulus just nodded, leaving quickly.

“Potter?” He stopped halfway through the door and James looked up. “Thanks.” James didn’t get any time to reply as Regulus was long gone, leaving him to cringe on his own. Neither of them would be telling anybody about the incident. Ever.

5. Lily Evans

You and James had been doing your will-they-won’t-they thing for a long time. Not quite since you met, but once you’d both started to notice the opposite sex you’d been participating in a battle of who could resist the longest. Teasing and cajoling were staples of your relationship. Whilst it had started as a way to pass the time; James had been in love with Lily since second year and you just liked to tease, at some point the feelings crossed over into a real and dangerous territory. However, neither of you wanted to do anything in case the feelings weren’t reciprocated, and truthfully hadn’t realised the true depth of them.

You and James were the only ones not to see the obvious: the feelings were absolutely reciprocated. It was tearing your friends apart, trying to get one of you to finally confess before you finished school forever. There were bets in place, pep talks and everything else the Gryffindors could think of to finally cause the event they’d been hoping for. Eventually, Lily had had enough.

One day you were all hanging out in your dormitory, most of you doing your homework and Marlene fiddling with a record player, trying to get it to come back to life.

“So, what would you guys think if I gave James a chance?” Lily asked, too coy to be genuine, but you were caught off-guard enough that you didn’t notice. “I mean, I know I’ve said some terrible things over the years, but now that he’s backed off he’s actually a really nice guy.”

“But… James?” You asked incredulously, essay immediately forgotten.

“Yeah, why not? He’s the hottest guy in our year, and if all goes to shit it’s only a few months until we graduate and I’ll never have to see him again.”

“But it’s James!” The rest of the girls had caught on to what Lily was scheming and delighted in joining in.

“Why shouldn’t she? It’s not like you like him, right?” Mary asked, studying your expressions. You hesitated for a moment, trying to find the right words. And just when they thought Lily had finally succeeded in getting the ball rolling you answered: “No, of course not. You go ahead, Lils.”

What started as a ploy to get you to admit your feelings only snowballed from there when Lily realised she couldn’t just back out now. And so she hatched a plan. Everything was going perfectly; Sirius and Remus had made sure the common room was devoid of younger students so no unhelpful rumours could be spread, and Marlene had been hanging out with you all evening to make sure you stuck to the schedule she’d devised.

With perfect precision, you and Marlene entered through the portrait just as Lily came down from the dorms.

“Hey, Potter,” She called, and James looked up curiously from his game of wizard’s chess. The redhead marched over to him, cupping both of his cheeks and kissing him strongly. Your jaw dropped open. You couldn’t believe Lily was just going for it like that, but even more you couldn’t believe the sick feeling creeping up from your stomach. You looked at Marlene, who only looked marginally less shocked. A glance around the room proved similar. Although they all knew Lily’s plan, it was two entirely different things to hear about her scheme to get the two of you together and seeing Lily Evans kissing James Potter.

“I’ve, uh, gotta go,” You mumbled, somehow finding your footing to run from the room, desperate to get anywhere where you didn’t have to see that, and the subsequent (or so you believed) union of a happy couple.

Lily pulled away from the kiss, eyes immediately trying to find you and she was puzzled when she couldn’t. A look at Marlene told her all she needed to know and her heart sank; she’d failed. James was looking a little more dazed than the head girl, and suddenly looked terribly awkward in his seat.

“Look, Lils. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t feel that way about you anymore. There’s— there’s someone else, and I, I have to go.” With that James headed up to his dormitory, and the rest of your friends stood in a thick silence for several moments.

“I think I just made everything worse,” Lily said, and then the chaos started.

“What the fuck did you think was going to happen?” Sirius asked loudly, running a stressed hand through his hair.

“I don’t know! I just figured maybe they’d have an epiphany and both realise they’d rather be kissing each other!” Lily cried, throwing herself into an armchair.

You

Lily was right, she’d unintentionally made everything worse. You were upset at what you’d seen and the story you’d attributed to it, and even more so at your terribly timed realisation of your feelings. Because of this you’d started avoiding James in an effort to get over him, which only made you more miserable that you couldn’t talk to your favourite person. James, in turn, hadn’t seen you enter the common room on the night of the kiss and so believed —and dearly hoped — that you were blissfully ignorant, and so was equally perplexed and distraught at the space between you. He’d tried to approach you about it but you evaded him or turned him away every time.

“Hey, love, can we please—”

“It’s fine, James,” You interrupted him, “It was all just a bit of fun, right? All the flirting, the being touchy. But now you’re with Lily and I’ll back off, I get it, don’t worry. I wish you two every happiness.” You tried to sound as genuine as you could while sadness bit at your heart, and left James standing astounded in the corridor. Now he knew that you’d seen the kiss the issue was obvious, but the solution remained a mystery to him.

You’d taken to Marlene to get your feelings out, and she listened patiently as you rattled off a monologue about your childish jealousy and broken heart. Luckily, she’d discussed how to handle this with Lily — who knew you wouldn’t go to her because of her alleged involvement with James, and set off (hopefully) your friend’s last attempt to get you two together. She finally shook you out of it, frustrated with the lack of action.

“They’re not together,” She said, stopping you in your tracks.

“What?”

“They’re not together,” She repeated, making intense eye contact with you. “It was all this dumb plan Lily had to get the two of you together. She thought if you saw James getting with someone else you’d finally realise your feelings for him. And you did, but you were supposed to stick around to hear Potter reject her and say that he liked someone else, you.” You were shocked into silence, what could you say to that?

“So,” You started carefully, “What do I do now?”

James was in a similar situation with the boys.

“She saw Lily kiss me and now she thinks I like Lily when I like her! Plus, she won’t even be in my presence long enough for me to explain that it’s all just this huge misunderstanding and it’s her I want to be snogging!” James lay dramatically across his bed as the boys sighed.

“Prongs, isn’t it obvious?” Sirius asked and James cocked his head to the side, looking remarkably like a confused puppy. “Do something she can’t ignore. Make a grand gesture to prove your feelings for her.” James thought about it, it made sense. If you wouldn’t hear his explanation, he’d just have to make you.

“How?”

You and James went into the following Saturday with the same goal. It was Gryffindor’s quidditch semi-final, so there was a party being held whatever the outcome. It would be the first time you’d see each other since you’d realised your mistake since training was taking up all of James’ time.

Gryffindor had won, thankfully, which had both of you in higher spirits. The party was already in full swing by the time you got there, opting for a smoke first to calm your nerves. You’d spotted James almost as soon as you entered, always the heart and soul of a party. You marched towards him with a purpose, but as soon as he set eyes on you he jumped up to stand on a table. Someone had lowered the volume of the music — not silent, but low enough so you could hear him yelling over it. He said your full name, clearly and intentionally in a way that had surrounding people look at you curiously.

“I love you,” He said suddenly. “I am in love with you, not anyone else, and whatever made you think that’s not true was just a huge misunderstanding. Because I love you so much, and all I want to do is snog you until I’m the only name you remember, baby.” You let out a short laugh at his vulgarity and the cocky smirk that accompanied it, but a cheek-splitting smile won out when you thought about the preceding words and the sincerity he’d instilled in them. Before you even knew what you were doing you were racing towards him, gratefully taking Peter’s hand to join James on the table.

You honestly couldn’t tell who had initiated the kiss, but you were suddenly so intimately joined together it was like all the air had been sucked out of your lungs, compressing your body in an effort to fuse to his. His strong arms around you couldn’t shield you from the confetti being thrown around (for the match, of course, not just your kiss), nor the catcalls of your friends. You only pulled away when you felt James’ tongue start exploring a little too far, mindful that half the people you knew were watching. You wore matching grins as you parted, foreheads still pressed together and breathing heavy.

While it might have taken four years, innumerable (accidental) kisses and one failed set-up plan to get there, you were sure in your heart that James Potter was the only boy you ever wanted to kiss. And so you did, over and over for the years to come, and you cheered and applauded enthusiastically as the seemingly never ending list of friends and family told stories of receiving a coveted James Potter kiss throughout the years, knowing you were the only one who got to be his bride.

[skywalkr-nberrie]

Calling Anakin “manipulative” or “creepy” for his lines in AOTC is actually crazy to me, because George Lucas didn’t say he based their romance off the early 30’s soap opera style movies, for y’all to lose the point this hard. The inspirations he drew for Anakin and Padmé’s love story are naturally more enhanced in theatrics, are dramatically crafted, and purposefully performative. What did you expect? A post-modern style cringe love story?

Haters with these opinions are the kind of weirdos who make fun of and have 0 appreciation for classical stories like Shakespearean, Roman, and Greek tragedies. Offering up a lot of bad takes without ever truly grasping the essence of what these above mentioned stories are all about and they think they’re real smart.

Anakin saying “I’m haunted by the kiss, that you should’ve never have given me.” isn’t him blaming Padmé for kissing him or letting him kiss her. What he’s saying is that he can’t ever come back from repressing his emotions and feelings about her because now he’s had a taste of what it feels like to BE WITH HER. He’s confessing his undying love for her, and his intentions isn’t the manipulate her or make her feel “guilty” for “leading him on”. And if it translated that way to you, than I’d argue, that that’s more concerning. Btw, Padmé herself was in awe of when Anakin said this to her.

Not to mention that Anakin DREW BACK from pursuing Padmé, because he understood that she wasn’t going to oblige whether it would’ve been because she didn’t want too out of duty or if it was something else. Anakin doesn’t bring it up again until Padmé herself does. Basically admitting that she can’t live without him anymore, and she’s been dying a little everyday pretending like she simply go back to her duties and forget him.

And calling Anakin “immature” for his feelings and the way he talks to Padmé is also a severely incorrect way to consume their love story and not because Padmé completely is swooned by Anakin’s words, but because the narrative itself makes it clear that Anakin is very self aware of what his feelings are and his words come naturally to him. He’s not speaking out of immature, irrational, and brainless hormonal nonsense. He’s calm, collected, and simply expressing his yearning and longing for the girl he’s loved for 10 years. Never at any point are we supposed to think of him as “immature” especially not in that moment either. Padmé even makes note of it in the AOTC novel, that there’s “nothing of a child left in him” and that’s he’s now, completely a man. (That’s no hint that Anakin was behaving “imMaTuReLy”)

[rcmclachlan]

Ooh wait about pregnant Buck and oblivious Tommy finding out through the nurses grapevine

Buck's still in the hospital - some pregnancy related issues- and Tommy's just landed as scheduled and is waiting to deliver a transplant organ or something

except one of the more senior nurses - let's call her Emmanuella, she's a Filipina nurse and she will not mince words - tells him "hey Tommy you listen to me, you need to step up, yes? You need to make sure Buck gets enough nutrition and rest, what kind of father are you that he's not resting at home putting his feet up and focus on growing his baby? And I never see you come in with him, I'm not judging, okay I am judging, but you must take good care of your baby's daddy too, or I will smack you on the head"

And Tommy's all ??? before he's !!!!! And he asks Emmanuella which room Buck is in and he runs to the ward and Buck is talking to another nurse about the baby

And they see each other and they just stare before they each launch into a very agitated speech that ends up with them crying and kissing and hugging

The nurses have enough gossip material for a week

Emmanuella is treated to her favorite mocha latte every shift

I am in LOVE with the idea that whatever's going on with these two is basically the equivalent of a soap opera coming to life and the nursing staff are all tuned in. Morale has never been higher.

[indierpgnewsletter]

The 1980 Dallas RPG was a Soap Opera Wargame?

In 1980, SPI, a company known for its wargames did a strange thing and published an RPG based on the Dallas tv show. If you don't know anything about the tv show, don't worry, I will protect you. It's too late for me though. You go on ahead. Basically, it was a hit TV show of big money family feuding. Imagine Succession but it was written in the 1980s and instead of TV news, it was an oil company. Unlike the show, the RPG wasn't a hit. The art director of the game famously wrote that they printed 80,000 copies and that was 79,999 more than people wanted. That one person seemed to be this person's grandma who bought it for him to save his soul from D&D/Satan.

What is this game though? Well, James F Dunnigan, founder of SPI and designer of legendary wargame, Panzerblitz, seems to have applied his analytical mind to the internecine squabbles of Dallas and decided that, if you think about it, petty family drama isn't so different from CIA covert ops. And he was right.

As you'd expect from a wargame, the rules are dry and clinical to a fault. You start by picking one of the 9 characters from the show - JR, Jock, Sue Ellen, Pam, etc. They all have stats like Persuasion, Coercion, Seduction. And these stats have attack/defend values. For example, JR has a Coercion of 24 because he's a real jerk. Sue Ellen has a Seduction resist of 18, but it's 20 against JR, because again, he seems to have been a real jerk. This game genuinely went out of its way to make sure you know JR's wife really really doesn't want to go near him.

Each character starts the session ("episode") with a secret story-based objective. Jock wants to run an angry former employee out of town, JR wants to cheat an Arab oil magnate out of 100 million dollars, Sue Ellen wants to do a favour for an old boyfriend. Yeah, what can I say? Some of these objectives feel more important than others. Regardless, you achieve these objectives by controlling 4 or more specific minor characters and organisations by the end of the game. For example, to enact his 100 million dollar plan, JR has to control the Ewing Oil Company, Mustafa Quattara, Professor Bayard, the reporter Mary Cleef, and so on. But characters' objective overlap so Pam also wants Mustafa Quattara and Jock also wants Professor Bayard. These conflicting goals means players need to scheme, negotiate and attack each other so they can win.

The sessions play out in five rounds. Each round, the GM sets the scene. Then, the players can negotiate and make deals. Then, we enter the conflict phase where each player makes three moves - either trying to gain control of uncontrolled NPCs, or attacking another player to steal an NPC from under them, or protecting their own NPCs. And the game throws in little curveballs every round: Oops, some of JR's drinking buddies are in town and he can't say no to them, so his character is out of this round. Hopefully the player has some NPCs that they can use to act instead. Oops, Mustafa Quattara is being chased by assassins. Whoever controls his card has to give it up as he disappears for a bit and comes back uncontrolled. The end result is somewhere in between Vampire the Masquerade (or rather, Undying) and Blood on the Clocktower.

Sure, the math is dense (you roll 2d6 under the difference between the attack value and the defense value, plus or minus any currency spent). Sure, it takes 9 players to really sing. Sure, multiple people can complete their objective so you need to track victory points separately to decide the real winner. Sure, you have to take the homophobia out of the Seduction rules. Sure, roleplaying is completely optional. Sure, sure, sure. The game is a mess. But it's a very playable mess. I'd go so far as to say it's an electric mess. It's shockingly (sorry) fun to play. I think the secret lies in a very clear agenda for the players, a tight boardgame-like action economy, a premise that supports hilarious degrees of pettiness, and an inter-personal experience that demands everyone pay attention to what their friends are doing.

So. Am I planning a full 9 person play-by-post game of this? Yes. Am I thinking of changing the setting and the math? Yes. Is that basically designing a new game? Yes. Should this game be labelled "Powered by Dallas" or, as one of my players suggested, "Hornswoggled by Dallas"? YES.

(This was first published in the Indie RPG Newsletter.)

[klaushargreeeeves]

i’ve been thinking after the tua finale about netflix and how badly it’s treated its shows lately, so here’s a list off the top of my head of all the shit netflix has pulled recently:

- cancelled teenage bounty hunters

- cancelled julie and the phantoms

- cancelled warrior nun until the fandom brought it back

- cancelled first kill

- cancelled glow

- cancelled i am not okay with this

- cancelled sense8

- turned cobra kai into a one dimensional soap opera and tanked the character development

- fumbled the bad with the final season of atypical

- the disaster that was the final season of the umbrella academy

- cancels the majority of its shows about the lgbtq+ community and other minority groups (teenage bounty hunters, warrior nun, first kill, etc) while predominantly cishet shows with forced representation get season after season (outer banks, cobra kai, stranger things)

- raising prices while the quality of the service has gone significantly down

netflix has managed to somehow go from being the top streaming service with tons of good shows and movies to a joke. this isn’t just a problem with netflix, but you basically can’t get attached to a show that isn’t completed anymore because the assumption is that it’ll get cancelled. that isn’t even going into the fact that if the show is continued, there’s a good chance it will be ruined.

i think the final season of stranger things will play a huge role in netflix’s future. if it’s good, there might be hope and maybe they’ll actually care about their shows again. but if it sucks, i think a lot of people (myself included) will be done with this shitty platform. they’ve shown time and time again they don’t actually care about their viewers and only care about the money they make. i’m done with getting invested in their shows knowing the likelihood of things ending badly is high.

anyways, i hope their ceos sleep well knowing that they’ve ruined their streaming service. lol

[wolfsbanesparks]

Fanfic idea!

So I wanted to share an idea i had for a story that just sorta appeared in my brain fully formed. It will be a while before I have time to write it out, but I wanted to share it with y'all now while it's fresh in my mind.

This was inspired by @puppetwoman17 's story "Batson Family Soap Opera" and conversations I've had with @cerealboxlore as well as some other posts I've seen floating around tumblr but can't find right now.

Title: Signed in Blood

Premise: Ebenezer Batson makes a deal with Lady Blaze to bring his son Sinclair back to life, but there's a catch: after a year and a day either Sinclair must return to the land of the dead or a blood relative must take his place.

When the time comes for Blaze to collect on her contract, the Justice League is recruited to protect the Batsons from the hellhounds and demons she sends after them.

Full details under the cut because this will get long. Like the entire fic is there in bullet point form

Okay bullet points for all the plot beats i know (basically an outline of the story)

We open on Lady Blaze tracking down Ebenezer and offering to grant his greatest wish: bringing his son back to life

Ebenezer jumps at the chance and signs the contract with his blood, even knowing the caveat that someone must die in one year. A further stipulation in the contract is that the soul of whoever dies to fulfill the contract will belong to her

Ebenezer loves his son and won't let him die again, but he's still a selfish bastard, so he doesn't plan on dying either

He justifies it to himself with the thought that Sinclair is smarter, more charismatic, and had a bright future whereas Billy is a troubled runaway who will probably become a petty crook etc.

There is only one other blood relative he knows is still alive: Billy

(Billy is of course trans in this but I'll stick to the name and pronouns we know he uses rather than Ebenezer's misgendering and deadnaming)

Sinclair does not know he's dead: Blaze wiped his memory of the accident and used magic to provide false memories to account for the time he was dead

Ebenezer tracks down Billy to take back custody of him so he'll be able to hand him over to Blaze (he knows that if billy dies and he tells people Billy ran away they'll believe it because of his history thus getting away scott free)

Billy is conflicted about being in Ebenezer's custody again, especially with a cousin he doesn't remember (he died before Billy's parents did) who seems a bit off (because he was resurrected with demonic magic)

Sinclair jumps straight into making a name for himself by running for political office (he has ambitions and plans for his future and zero idea what his father did)

While campaigning for office, exactly a year and a day since he was resurrected, Sinclair attends a major political conference

The conference is attacked by hellhounds sent by blaze to remind Ebenezer of their contract. But it causes a huge scene and the Justice League, including Captain Marvel, gets involved to help protect the political leaders of the conference

But they soon realize the main target is Sinclair so they take him and Ebenezer back to their home and offer their protection while they figure out what's going on

Ebenezer is sweating because he has no idea where Billy is so he can't offer him up like he planned (because Billy is CM at the moment) but he figures the JL can keep him and Sinclair alive

Cap is unusually rude and abrasive. He's distant and avoids certain sections of the house. The JL is worried because he never acts like this and they don't know what happened or why he doesn't seem to like the batsons

As they try to figure out why the Batsons are being targeted, a second attack happens at a charity event where the Bromfields had been in attendance (the demons targeting Mary)

The JL brings the Bromfields and the Batsons together to try to find a link. And after Batman runs a DNA test he finds out that Mary is related to them.

(Billy recognized her the moment he saw her locket and is desperately trying to hold himself back from pulling her into a hug and whisking her away from their uncle)

Ebenezer is gobsmacked that his niece is alive, Mary is ecstatic to learn more about her birth family, and the Bromfields are worried about what this all means.

The story of CC and Marilyn comes out and Sinclair tells the JL about Billy and how he's missing and they need to find him before the demons do

Demons attack the house, gunning for Cap as well which leads to some investigation and the theory that Cap is CC with memory loss which he adamantly denies

(Both Billy and Ebenezer are shaken by just how many "dead" Batsons are in the room)

Blaze appears and tells them all that due to her contract they cannot deny her: she is owed the life and soul of one of the Batsons by midnight. A life for a life.

Everyone is freaking out because what contract? And who is she?

But Billy knows who she is and it takes him no time at all to put the pieces together. He confronts Ebenezer and when he denies it, he convinces wonder woman to use the lasso of truth on him

Ebenezer is forced to tell them he made a deal and why: he wanted his son back.

But Sinclair still has no idea he died so he doesn't understand: he would have come home if his dad needed him so bad.

But Billy remembers an incident from when he was a kid living with Ebenezer: playing in the backyard, digging a hole as little kids do and finding a ring engraved with the name Sinclair Batson (a high school class ring that Sinclair always wears, one that he's wearing right now)

His uncle had been furious and punished Billy for it, but later while drunk he sobbed about how his perfect son was gone, how he'd never see him again.

Billy had (rightly) assumed he was dead but didn't ask any questions about him until he was in Ebenezer's custody again, then he assumed he was just young and misunderstood the situation (after all he'd lost so many people at that age. Lots of people were just gone without explanation)

But now he realizes the truth: Sinclair was brought back from the dead and the strange offputting aura was blazes magic

Ebenezer is forced to tell them what happened: how Sinclair died.

It was an accident. The two of them had been arguing about Sinclair going away for college among other things and things got heated. Sinclair tried to sneak out after the argument, climbing out of his window. Ebenezer caught him and shouted for him to get back inside. The shout startled Sinclair and he fell off the roof and broke his neck

Ebenezer couldn't bring himself to call the police, he was terrified they'd arrest him because the neighbors heard them arguing and Sinclair had bruises on his arm from where Ebenezer had grabbed him

So he buried his son in that backyard, telling everyone who asked that Sinclair was away for college and building up the lie so no one suspected the truth. (Billy found Sinclair's ring because he was playing on top of his unmarked grave)

Billy pushes and Ebenezer admits that he'd been planning on giving Billy up in exchange for Sinclair (airing out his justifications)

Everyone is horrified, especially Sinclair. (Not Billy though, this aligned perfectly with the Ebenezer he knew)

There's a lot of argument about what to do: most are in favor of handing Ebenezer over to Blaze but Sinclair is admant that he was supposed to be dead so it should be him she took.

But Billy knows something no one else knows about this deal, not even Ebenezer: Blaze had always intended to reap Billy's soul as payment

She knew there was no love between Billy and Ebenezer but she also knew that Billy would never let anyone (even someone he hates as much as his uncle) become her slave via owning their soul

But if Billy's soul belonged to her, so would his powers and his connection to Shazam and the Rock of Eternity. The contract would back him into a corner and his pure heart would give her the opening she needed.

So Billy pulls Sinclair and Mary aside. Mary's clinging to Sinclair because even though she just found him she doesn't want to lose him.

The three of them hatch a plan

When Blaze arrives and demands her payment Cap steps forward and offers himself (which makes everyone confused since he's been denying being CC all night)

Blaze is ecstatic because she can taste victory

Sinclair steps up and demands to know how they can trust her not to come after them again once she has cap's soul.

After a bit of back and forth, she agrees to add an addendum to the contract Ebenezer signed ensuring that she would never harm any of the Batsons after collecting what she is owed.

All batsons sign the contract in blood

Last is Billy who she tells to power down so she can collect his soul without divine interference

Billy transforms and literally everyone except Blaze is blindsided by the fact that Cap is Billy who has been missing since before this mess began

Blaze shoves her hand into Billy’s chest to rip out his soul and claim her birthright

But before he dies he gives Mary, who is shell shocked and horrified and quickly realizing that's her twin, a nod

As he falls to the ground she remembers the plan: she shouts out "Shazam" and becomes Mary Marvel

You see the night before Billy officially chose her to become his successor as Champion (Sinclair is too closely tied to blazes magic so it would've been too risky to give him. Plus Mary was always destined for the powers of Shazam but had been hidden from him by black Adam's magic)

Just as Blaze was denied her father's power and the Rock of Eternity because he chose Billy as his champion, so she was denied when Billy transferred his powers to mary

She is furious and attacks mary

But upon landing the first hit, Billy is brought back because she hurt a batson rendering the contract null and void

Together Billy and Mary send her back to hell

The epilogue features the Batsons several months later. Ebenezer is in prison for attempted murder (of both Billy and Sinclair) among other crimes. Sinclair still visits him because despite everything he loves his dad and owes him his second chance at life (it's definitely complicated) Sinclair is billys legal guardian and theyd sold the house where both Billy and Sinclair were abused moving into the same neighborhood as the Bromfields so the twins can be together again. Captain Marvel and Mary are beloved heroes and they've officially endorsed Sinclair's campaign which meant he won in a landslide.

And they lived happily ever after

So thoughts?

I told you the idea was fully formed but I'd love to hear what y'all think!

[melodianaartist]

Friends I have seen people saying Stolas saying he never saw Blitzø as less is a lie since he called him - for example- “an itty bitty imp” before and I think I’m gonna have to defend the owl on that.

I think Stolas could have been honest and he said those things and those two things both co-exist without it beeing a retcon.

Like..full stop: those things he said were condescending and kinda fucked considering the power dynamic and NOBODY would blame blitzø for perceiving them as such. It absolutely is something that would make you feel lesser.

But I don’t think Stolas registered that..at least not at the time.

We have seen his family, they all see Imps as basically pets (I remember one hell-born with an imp in their purse..like a dog). Stella throws them around like fucking furniture. I don’t think Stolas sees them as such, but it wouldn’t be surprising if he picked up some mannerisms from them. Like..when I was much younger, I picked up the word “twink” from the internet. (I’m not a native speaker) I used it indiscriminately on every non-muscular man I could find. Only later was I informed that it was actually meant to describe a non-muscular, gay man. Not to mention I pick up slang from my friend circle all the time. (Granted, my friends are not arrogant aristocrats who deny a certain group of people their personhood.)

Is it so difficult to imagine that even though he is very much not in line with his family’s beliefs, Stolas picked up a mannerism or two he never reflected on?

Not to mention, that this is presumably his first relationship (Stella doesn’t count) so he is probably still figuring out how to even talk with a lover and he seems to get his pointers from rom coms and soap operas.

It’s absolutely still fucked to be sure and this is no excuse. He should absolutely cut that kind of behaviour out if he wants anything good to come out of this (and just ethically for the matter), though I think the full moon episode has shown that he has realised how much the power imbalance dictates their relationship and is already making good on that.

But my point is..Stolas absolutely could never have seen Blitzø as less and he still could have made some condescending and belittling remarks. It doesn’t have to be a retcon.

It’s a character flaw of his. He doesn’t realize how some of his words come across (not just here.) A very intended flaw. It’s a point.

Also yes. Stolas is 100% stronger than Blitzø and the idea of him expecting Blitzø to protect him is a bit preposterous. However, I don’t think Stolas wants protection because he thinks himself weak. I think he just wants to see Blitzø showing that he cares. Or even, in the Striker case, just communicating. Stolas thought that, no matter what their relationship was, Blitzø at least cared enough to not want him dead. Which, to be honest, is a really really low bar. I certainly don’t want even the people I hate most dead.

[its-kapi-wara]

I was "today-years old" when discovered that Les Misérables was adapted into a Brazilian soap opera in 1967. Not only that, but it was also the FIRST soap opera to premiere on that television channel - the channel having been inaugurated on May 13, 1967, the same day that the 1st chapter premiered.

To my surprise, the cast of the soap opera had actors who are quite prestigious in Brazil today, I'm serious about this, the actress who played Fantine must have more than fifty credits to her name - and that's just in other soap operas - she has also participated in films, plays and even voice acting (she voiced Betty Rumble in The Simpsons, from 1963 to 1966)

The sad part is that it's very unlikely that I'll be able to find much information about this adaptation. I mean, it was the 60s, televisions were new, and basically luxury items...

So...is someone going to do a remake at some point, or am I going to have to become writer, director, and producer and do the whole thing myself?

Not-so-funny historical fact: At the time this soap opera was on air (May 13, 1967 – August 25, 1967), Brazil was going through a period of military dictatorship, which would only end in 1985. It was a very difficult period in the country's history, in addition to the persecution of those who opposed it, there was also a lot of censorship in films, music and other types of media.

It was during this period that some Student Movements emerged. As the name suggests, they're composed mainly of college students. They protested, held marches, distributed pamphlets and fought against the situation in which the country found itself. Many were persecuted, tortured and killed (as were the families of some of them)

[tswwwit]

I was very amused by a specific joke in Cipher's Personal Portable Portal when I wrote it, so I decided to write Bill's POV of that part of the fic!

Here's a short thing:

Despite the annoyance, the interloping, and a pair of completely ruined shoes -

Holy crap, it must be Bill's lucky day!

Bill chuckles, taking this human's face in both hands as he watches him struggle. Kid's putting up one heck of a fight, considering the position he's in.

And man, is it adorable!

Here Bill was, thinking it'd be a full week or worse until he finally managed to drag his fun-times partner into an actual date. Dipper's been a real stubborn goody-two-shoes cookie, with more brains than common sense. Convincing him of anything is almost impossible, even when it's a great idea.

Bill had resigned himself for a bit of a wait. Who knew how long it'd be until that stubborn little jerk finally gave in to some good ol' fashioned hedonism, and took a break? Or maybe he'd catch that 'criminal', finally, and they could get back to the fun stuff.

Turns out, he didn't need to! No scheduling was even involved, because his date took the opportunity to show up all on his own!

Though for a minute, Bill thought he was the other guy.

Not that getting attention from his other suitor was bad, at the outset Having a guy chase after you that hard? Keeping up with every scheme and tracking all your plots? Putting on a full blown pursuit, just for you, heedless of any other major threats? It's almost enough to make a guy blush!

All that faded to the background with his awful friggin' timing.

This asshole only caught up to him, meeting him for real - AFTER Bill already found a cutie to basically go steady with! Now THAT was real rich of him. Months of pursuit - flattering, hilarious chases, some truly annoying thwarts - and for what? Stubborn jackass human couldn't the decency to do this before the position was filled? Seriously? It's like he was designed to be the most irritating human being in the universe.

Too bad for his prospective suitor, though. Too little, too late shoulda been his motto, because Bill had a new squeeze, and a sharp and sassy one at that! Someone much more fun, equally clever, and adorably feisty. He really had a mouth on him, in more ways than one, a combo impossible to resist.

And this loser showed up at the exact right time to throw wrenches into their first friggin' date.

Jealous stalkers apparently get the best luck in the universe, when it comes to ruining a good thing. Soap operas have less dramatic timing than this asshole did!

If he knew how he'd kept Bill up the last week, pacing and wondering how to best slam the door in his face without sending the wrong signals - or worse, having to alert his soon-to-be date that some other guy was after Bill's ass -

And he had the absolute temerity to be incredibly physically cute, while he was at it. That crap really rankled.

But that's all in the past. For once, Bill can let bygones be bygones.

Because surprise, surprise! Turns out the hot nerd and the annoying stalker... are the same guy! No need to choose when the whole package is right here!

Man, what a fluke. Bill could date around for a million years and never manage this much luck again.

From the ground, Dipper makes clinking sounds as he pulls against the chains. There's banked fury in his expression, eyes narrowing in Bill's direction like he wants to spit.

Bill beams back down at him. He pinches the cheek again, and grins wider at the sight.

And there's the second-best part - his cutie-pie is a cutie-pie! The lack of visual through the portal had him totally missing out.

Look at that face! The shape of his jaw, the big brown eyes, the look of true irritation - the way he snaps at Bill's fingers like he wants to bite them off -

Great sight, ten outta ten! Bill could stare at it for a thousand years, unblinking, and never get bored.

He also can't stop touching it.

The very first squeeze confirmed what he already knew - yep, this is the guy he'd been fooling around with for a while, the shape of him memorized after the first check out. Now he traces over his human's cheeks, and along his jaw, just for the feel of it.

Every inch of his human is made clearer now that Bill can see as well as touch. The twin senses are fantastic together, peanut butter and chocolate and anchovies, a delicious combination. Trailing down over his neck, and around the back of his ear. His skin is smooth and soft, sending little tingles of his magic tingling under Bill's touch.

Overall, this human's super great for petting! Soft brown hair runs through Bill's fingers, damp from rain. It's delightfully messy and made more so by Bill's intervention.

A particularly enthusiastic stroke slides it away from the mortal's forehead - and Bill raises an eyebrow.

Aha! So there's where the name comes from!

Figures, really. That kinda appellation doesn't come from nowhere. A cute little birthmark cherry on top of this delectable human sundae.

The motion really seems to bug the guy, too! A bonus, in Bill's eye.

Dipper strains against his chains, hissing through his teeth. Arms struggle in their confines, neck twisting to bare an arc of pale skin. Muscles shift under the thin material of his t-shirt. The damp, rain-soaked fabric clings to his chest, leaving basically nothing to the imagination.

Bill grins wider. Hell, he nearly whistles.

Very, very nice! That lean body of his has seen its share of fights, alright. Mostly running by the look of it, but it's done him a bunch of favors!

Mind you, the mind was plenty on its own. Total smokeshow of a neural network, feisty and quick on the draw. Now Bill can toss in the stubborn, defiant bits from the stalker as well! And Knowing the way he fights. Irritating and clever in equal parts, while being totally willing to pull some downright dirty tricks? Bill nearly wants to give him a round of applause.

Now take all that - plus all this?

Today really went from the most miserable bullshit slog to totally great!

And there might be more, if he plays his cards right.

Bill hums in thought, idly petting his squirmy little human as he makes cute little annoyed grunts.

Now. How to introduce himself?

Obviously the kid's unaware of who he's dealing with. Which has so much potential for fun - but should he make the guy wait, or go right for it?

Both options are tempting, with his human completely at his mercy. Wriggling around in an eye-catching way, equal parts fury and exasperation. Dipper's expecting torture, probably! Or, pow, getting one right in the kisser.

Ha! He might just get one, too - but not in the way he expects! That'd be delightfully ironic! Tilt his head up, wait for his mouth to be less bitey, then Bill can make his move. It'll totally shock him into silence! Maybe even make his mouth drop open a bit, enough to find out if he tastes as good as he-

Then his human twists away, head jerking out of his grip.

"You lay another finger on me," Dipper glares daggers at him, tense and furious. Leaning away as far as he can get, which isn't much! "And my boyfriend will kick your ass."

"Boyfriend," Bill repeats.

Wait a sec, Pine Tree here said he was single! No dalliances or affairs, AND that he was bad at sharing.

Was that wrong? Is he that good a liar? It'd be a credit to him if it wasn't such a kick in the pants.

What the hell, Bill didn't detect THIS one coming. Guess the date couldn't go off completely without a hitch, adding the first unpleasant surprise to the mix.

Who's his human gotten close to? Another human? It's gotta be, there's no other demons sniffing around - and there's no way he's totally lacking in attention, with those looks.

Of course someone else would be after Bill's hard-won prize. Friggin' competition. Now Bill has to find this loser and make sure there's only one in the running.

And another thing - that's a stupid threat. This guy knows he's facing off against a full-fledged demon, here. The kid's not delusional, and they just fought. He knows how hard it'd be to take Bill down. Whose dick is he sucking that's smart enough, and powerful enough, to kick THAT much -

Bill blinks twice.

Then he grins.

"Aha!" He exclaims, clapping his hands together and rubbing them. "Boyfriend, you say!"

Of course. Of course!

Obviously it's Bill, who else could it be?

Takes a demon to threaten a demon after all, and the kid's too sharp to pull anything else. Dipper here HAS been sucking some real incredible dick from a very intelligent and handsome being!

Pulling on that relationship makes for a way better threat. A little presumptuous to toss Bill's name around like that, but eh, he gets a pass. As far as he knows it's a life-or-death deal going on right now. Plus, the assumption's not even wrong! Bill would obliterate any loser who touched a hair on his head, since they're -

'Boyfriend', huh. Whoo, THAT'S not a phrase that comes outta nowhere.

This guy's brain's been lingering on the word, hasn't it. Practically marinating in the concept of Bill Cipher and 'boyfriend', together in the same mental picture!

Hell, Bill would bet good money that this cutie's been obsessed! He totally thinks Bill's so cool, and smart, and powerful, that he dreams of being Bill's boyfriend, wanting to tie him down along with tying him up. Imagining dates with the impossibly amazing demon he's been chatting with. Sighing with longing as he awaits their first kiss. His whole mind flooded with thoughts of them together, kicking his legs and fluttering his long eyelashes with gooey feelings in his squishy mortal heart. Bill bets if he dug through that crummy notebook he saw earlier, he'd read 'Dipper Cipher' scribbled all over it with kiss marks on the pages.

And hey, if his mortal wants to make things 'official', then there's Bill's in! No scheming needed! The prize has been handed to him on a silver platter, just the way he likes it.

Everything's falling into place, like a perfectly toppled building.

This human's a rare one, that's for sure. Practically unique! Too cute, too fun. Too annoying and smart. Bill really landed one hell of a looker with the brains to boot, and in a way better than he'd hoped!

So yeah, he can be generous, and grant his human's wish. They've practically been going steady already!

And he's gonna get a smooch when he makes it solid between 'em, for sure. Ten smooches, even! With tongue! It'll be great.

What a day this has been.

Annoying stubborn interloper, amusing banter, then a fantastic fight with multiple surprises, each one more entertaining than the last. A total whirlwhind of fun and romance - AND they both get what they want in the end!

Which officially makes this the best first date ever.

[phosphostar]

Could you make hc for the mouthwashing crew (minus Jdiddy) if they had actually been saved and made it back to earth after the crash? Like what life would be like for them? PLS PLS I JUST WANT A HAPPY ENDING FOR THM😭

LMFAO OF COURSE I CAN!!!!!!

return velocity

what if the crew (anya, daisuke, curly, swansea) made it back after the events of mouthwashing..?

cw: uhhh none really? except for what’s under the cut! tell me if i missed anything <3

𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐞

oh my sweet summer boy.

he made it out with uhm

let’s just say a whole bunch of scars

his mom, was obviously worried. horrified. her baby.. hurt?? because of her? her heart is broken

but daisuke’s like “nono it’s okay!! i got a cool scar to show off to the ladies!!”

she just facepalms

i also hc daisuke never really learned how to drive. was too worried about partying. so swansea had to drive him and anya to their respective houses (i’ll get to why curly wasn’t there in a moment)

his parents meet anya and swansea

they are so happy they met swansea. this man taught our son? he’s gonna do great.

until daisuke goes back to yapping about video games. yeah so great.

they heavily thank anya though, for helping with saving daisuke after climbing into the vent. without her, he would’ve certainly died

basically daisuke finds his purpose (keeping cool in situations and dedicating his life to his friends)

𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐚

my poor baby anya

so we all know she struggled getting into medical school prior to the events in mouthwashing

in my mind daisuke’s parents helped pay for her medical school due to her basically saving his life

she goes to medical school, gets her necessary digress, and works in healthcare!!

ABORTS THE BABY.

SHE DOES NOT KEEP THE BABY.

becomes curly and swansea’s primary healthcare worker because she knew them best

really into gardening! helps take her mind off the ptsd of everything that happened

got a restraining order against j-diddy

gets a kitty named towellet. she loves the thing.

𝐬𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐚

oh my swansea. no one loves you the way i do.

obviously is so happy to see his wife

and his kids!! can’t forget about them

they’d be worried sick, obviously hearing about the news of the tulpar

he reassures them that he’s safe (obviously), and he’ll be able to retire!!

his wife is obviously excited

i hc his wife is already retired and his kids already have kids

peepaw swansea for the win <33

i also hc he adopted an old bulldog.

they watch soap operas together all day and snore on the couch super loudly

𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐥𝐲

…

surprisingly didn’t die??

also he wasn’t in swansea’s car because uhm.. he was airlifted to the hospital

his recovery is difficult, obviously

he has moments he’s not sure he’ll make it out alive, and wonders if he should even still be breathing

obviously loves when swansea, daisuke, and anya visit. he literally loves it

he was given a multitude of surgeries, including skin graphs from donors, so some parts have darker hair than others, he thinks it’s cool.

daisuke was also a good match for blood i hc!! anya, daisuke, and swansea now regularly donate blood and plasma <3

i hc curly got an emotion support/guide dog names ratchet

sweetest baby around and curly adores him

he has prosthetics for his limbs, and used to completely cover them, a mask on his face and his hood up to complete the look

now he’s more confident in himself, and will happily go without a mask and basketball shorts!!

he has a voice box, but is still getting used to it!

daisuke bleached all his hair and cut it off for curly to make him a wig

he dosent wear it much, but he keeps it in a safe space

he wears a much more comfortable hair system

daisuke made his out of love, not practicality

𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞

company goes belly up.

curly and everyone sues him. even j-diddy.

they all win

what more can i say

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥

they all still love hanging out, the 4 of them

goes to anya’s graduation

daisuke constantly draws for all of them

swansea fosters kittens

anya loves to bake treats for all of them

curly loves to spin his shoulder around to cause his prosthetic to spin in a complete circle

…

i’m so sorry

𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐲

well.

woah.

he had a hefty trial.

obviously found guilty

got beat up in prison

was released on good behavior 🖕

i don’t think anya ever truly forgave him, or anyone for that matter.

which like good?

but he does visit curly sometimes at his hospital room

and sends the whole crew birthday/holliday cards

(only sends them to anya after his restraining order is done)

got a pitbull named mikey. loves his baby

he’s trying to turn his life around

he’s definitely still not sane

has been admitted to a mental institution involuntarily a few times

is on heavy medication to regulate his mood

got a sleeve tattoo of stars representing the crew (with their permission). i think he has a full sleeve

(thank you @/curly-my-beloved for that idea!!)

definitely got some of daisuke’s doodles tatted on him

a few important dates

he’s trying to be better

still an ass tho

i still don’t like him