#it's been a deeply unpleasant experience for him and one i've been thinking about a lot lately

[pynkhues]

Just looked up Edwards and idk, his face looks too KIND for any of those evil Ma men??? But you're right that he does resemble Sam Reid in the jaw so could be our Marquis. Whoever gets cast as Magnus should get tons of makeup to look completely horrifying and unrecognisable.

I don't know why but I think they'll cast an actor in their early 40s for Marius. Looking older but not that much older than AMC Armand (27).

(x)

I actually think that him having a kinder face could potentially work with the Marquis / Lestat's father?

Sam actually talked about it a bit in his interview with Autumn, but they do have a little narrative conundrum to address in that they've aged Lestat up. He's only 21 when he's turned in the books, whereas they've made him 34 in the series and there is the question of where they put those years. As Sam says, there's kind of two options, first is that they have him in Paris for longer, or second is that they have him stuck in the Auvergne with his family for longer, and he thinks the second option makes more sense, and I totally agree.

Lestat is so subjugated and abused by his father and his brothers, but the reason they keep bringing him back every time he tries to leave is because he's the only one who's any good at hunting, and as a result the only one who can keep them afloat. They're aristocrats in title, but they're totally broke and his father as he ages goes completely blind which makes him, in this era, extremely dependent on his children. I think it makes a lot of sense to draw that period out into Lestat's adulthood and to really explore the complexity of the relationship between abuse, responsibility, servitude and perceived shifts in power versus the actual feelings of that. Especially given the context it can offer potentially for Lestat's role in Rue Royale.

It's important too that Lestat hasn't really had a chance to figure out who he is or live for himself yet, because that's not just a vital part of the tragedy of his turning, but also the key catalyst that has Lestat going to the US specifically to create a family for himself. So yeah, I don't know! I think casting someone as the Marquis who has a kind face isn't necessarily a bad thing, because I think it could play really well into the Marquis becoming dependent on Lestat (and Lestat still searching for any sort of acknowledgement from him) as he grows up.

But yes, haha, the description of Magnus in the book is basically body horror between his face being like a white mask set in a jester's grin and his black eyes and only having the two fang teeth, and I'm curious to see how literally they approach that? I wonder if there's a chance they could make him border on a revenant given he stole the dark gift and wasn't actually willingly turned by anyone. It could be an interesting way to explore how different types of turnings create different types of vampires, which is a factor in the books, and obviously something the show's already introduced given 2.01.

I could see them casting someone in their early 40s for Marius, for sure, especially given that's how old he is in the books. I do kiiind of personally see them going a little older though, just because I think they'll want him to look visibly older than both Armand and Lestat. They might get around that though with casting an actor who just has that sort of authoritative presence, or as I've mentioned before, just casting someone tall. Lee Pace has been a fan cast I've been intrigued by and he'd definitely fit the bill with the latter, haha.

[oxymorayuri]

❞𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐬?❝

Headcanons/Scenarios with my favorite boys [ Ace | Kid | Law | Doffy ] Content » Imagine you are pregnant with their child! How will they react? How will they prepare? just cute things ;3 Warnings: In Law's story, we experience an unpleasant birth with a few feelings that could be triggering. NO PROOFREADING

A/N: Not really headcanons… Kind of a mix of HC and scenarios. They're sometimes shorter or longer lol. ^////^

𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓: all images are by vasan5555

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐃. 𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐚𝐰

Telling him you're pregnant: You don't really tell him. lol.

You don't even know how to tell him. On the one hand, you know he'll be really happy, but on the other hand, you're afraid that it won't fit into his plans.

You sought advice from Ikkaku, but her words weren't really helpful. She suggested throwing a little surprise party because she's really happy for both of you, but you know that wouldn't be a good idea. Announcing to the whole crew that you're pregnant without Law knowing beforehand? Better not, that would overwhelm him.

You had already thought about just leaving the positive pregnancy test in the bathroom, but before you could, Law pulled you aside.

“Hey y/n-ya, are you okay? You've been acting weird lately.” You look around a little panicked, trying to think of an excuse.

“Weird? Ah no, it's probably just because… we haven't been on the surface for a long time… The air in the Polar Tang is getting a bit thin?” you mutter.

His gaze rests knowingly on you. He inhales deeply and rolls his eyes… he knows that something is wrong with you.

He gently grabs you by the shoulders and speaks in a calm voice that makes your heart flutter.

“Don't lie to me… There are clear signs, you know?” You look up a little anxiously without saying anything.

He groans a little. You're not usually so secretive… Now he has to do all the talking. He doesn't really like that, but it's about you after all. He tries to argue with facts he's noticed on you.

“You throw up quite often in the morning. At first I thought it was because you might have been drinking with the others, but then I saw for myself how you didn't take a sip of alcohol. You even refused when Shachi wanted to pour you a drink!” You get smaller and smaller under him as he states the obvious but Law is far from finished…

“According to my calculations, you should already be 6 weeks overdue with your period… Besides, I've seen you raiding the fridge at night, eating the strangest combinations. Cheese and chocolate, are you okay?” - “You stalker!” You're blushing… When you saw those two things, you just had to try them together…

The tears started to fill your eyes when he asked you if you were pregnant. With a small nod, you agreed to his assumption and Law wiped the tears from your cheeks with his thumb.

“I didn't know how to say it and I didn't know what you were going to say… I was scared, Law. You have your plans and…” Your words spilled out a little hysterically and without hesitation he took you in his arms. With his hand on the back of your head, he tried to calm you down with a few gentle strokes while you sniffed in his tight embrace.

“pshhh. It's okay y/n…” His soft voice against your ear calmed you down and as your breathing relaxed he looked firmly into your watery eyes.

“Plans change sometimes and I'm ready for any adventure.” He smirks at you with a sly expression.

His behavior / During pregnancy: Well, let's say he has 'studied' all the books about pregnancy.

You will spend most of your time with the Polar Tang underwater, as Law finds this safest while you are pregnant. However, he is aware of the importance of fresh air and sunshine, so you are regularly on the surface to breathe in the fresh ocean breeze and feel the sun on your skin. You're more than happy to be pregnant because normally you don't surface that often…

-

As your partner and doctor, he personally ensures that you have a balanced diet. He has even asked Sanji for advice. It was only a small call with the Den Den Mushi, but Law doesn't like Sanji very much, as he always fawns over you without any shame. Law knows which ingredients are nutritious but are they tasty? That's where Sanji is a big help.

Law passed on Sanji's greetings to you while you were reading a book on the sofa. You looked after him in surprise as he sat at his desk.

“Um, thanks… Sanji? How come you're on the phone with him?” You know what Law thinks of him. In his eyes, he's a perverted womanizer.

he froze a little when he realized that he had unintentionally told you that he was in contact with Sanji. But now it's too late to talk his way out of it.

“You know, I tried a few dishes that are supposed to give you strength, but they were awful… so I called Black Leg-ya…” He scratches the back of his head as he tries to avoid your gaze.

Belly round, you get up to walk over to Law and rest a hand on his shoulder. Law leans back a little as he looks you in the face. His cheeks turn a soft shade of pink and he makes room for you to sit on his lap.

Without saying much, you thank him and give him a loving kiss on the lips.

“Thank you for always being so thoughtful, Law.”

-

You are freed from your daily chores on the Polar Tang, but sometimes you get so bored that you find yourself doing little chores like washing and hanging up the laundry. No big deal, you think to yourself, but Law sees it quite differently.

“But babe, I'm so bored! It's just laundry…” you pout.

“If you're bored, then do something else, but not housework.” - “How about spending a bit more time with me?” You put your hands on your hips. You're the only one on the ship who has nothing to do while the others are busy and you can't keep them from working all the time…

Law wanted to say something but decided to close his mouth to think.

“Yeah, you know what? You're right. Meet me in the library at noon, I've got an idea.” Determined, Law set off, leaving you dumbfounded. You were expecting a little excuse, but not this. Law just has a few things to do and then he'll make time for you.

You wait for him in the library, a little excited, wondering what Law has prepared.

With a pile of books, he came into the shared library right on time at 12 o'clock and took a seat next to you on the huge sofa.

His idea was to read books with you that you had both bought for the child and so it became routine for you to read the books to each other every day. It was a lot of fun and you had a great time practicing your silly voices and matching it to the story. You are sure that your child will love it when you read to him or her.

Birth/when the baby is around: The birth is turbulent but Law is the perfect man by your side.

He wants to help bring the baby into the world but you are STRICTLY against it! You never want that in your life. He may be a doctor himself, but that's just not for you.

It took a while, but you managed to agree that a doctor from the city would come to you on the ship. A week before your due date, you docked in front of a small island with a peaceful town.

The mood on the entire ship became more and more restless from day to day, because your child wasn't making a move. You're long past the due date and even Law is starting to worry, but you're not making it any easier for him either, because you're refusing any help from Law.

The day you went into labor, the whole ship was on full alert. Bepo, Shachi and Penguin rushed into town to get the doctor on the ship while Law held your hand and did breathing exercises with you.

The birth was slow and you felt like days had passed, the pain was so numbing. Slightly distressed, the doctor began to change the preparations as it turns out your baby hasn't fully rotated yet.

“We have to prepare the operating room for a C-section!” - “C-section???!” Although you can barely hear because of the pain, you have clearly understood 'that'.

“I have to perform a scan while we move to the operating room…”

Things are moving way too fast for you as everyone around you rushes to get your bed and the ultrasound machines ready to head to the operating room.

Law doesn't even leave your side as you scurry down the corridor.

“The umbilical cord has wrapped around your son's neck!” Said the doctor. Desperation spreads through you, you can't relax and are afraid that you will push your son further out of you and strangle him. Wait a minute, a boy? You didn't even know the gender yet…

“Did you hear y/n? It's a boy! Let me make sure our boy gets out of you safely.” the tears run down your cheek uncontrollably. Your emotions are dancing the tango, you are so happy to be bringing a little boy into the world, but you are still afraid of the umbilical cord.

“Please Law, get our Rosinante out of me!” You squint your eyes because you can't see anything through all your tears. Law freezes for a millisecond when he hears the name but quickly pulls himself together.

“Doctor, please move aside.” Somewhat taken aback, the slightly older doctor moved aside and made room for Law.

With the help of Law's devil fruit, he gently extracted your child from your womb and held the crying baby in his arms.

His eyes widened at the sight of the helpless baby and the feeling inside him was as overwhelming as it was beautiful.

You look at him with a weary expression and watch this precious moment until exhaustion overcomes you to the point where you have to close your eyes.

The atmosphere is still very tense and even though you are no longer aware of it, everyone is doing their best to take care of you and Rosinante.

When you open your eyes for the first time, you find yourself in a hospital bed. Your gaze wanders around the room and lands on your side, where Law is asleep holding your hand. The movement wakes him up and he quickly gets up to ask you about your well being. After some time, when Law was sure you were okay, he brought your little boy into the room.

The dark circles under his eyes are nothing compared to the bright smile on his face as he holds your boy in his arms.

“Look Rosinante, mommy is awake. You can finally meet your mother.” The way he looks down at Rosinante… This is how Law always looks at you, full of love. He gently places him in your arms and the little one immediately snuggles up to your chest.

He is so beautiful that it brings tears to your eyes. He has his hair, his wonderful raven black hair. His little eyelids are closed and he sleeps contentedly in your arms. In his mother's arms. In Law's eyes, there is no sight more beautiful than looking at the two of you. He's happier than ever.

“He has your eyes, y/n…” he whispers as he strokes your cheek with gentle fingers.

𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐠𝐚𝐬 𝐃. 𝐀𝐜𝐞

Telling him you're pregnant: You could scream! No wait a minute, that's exactly what you're doing! XD

Every now and then you take a pregnancy test to be on the safe side. Since you both do it like animals in heat and neither use condoms nor can you be trusted to take your pill regularly, it's better to pee on the strip every now and then.

You look impatiently at the screen of the pregnancy test… A child wouldn't actually be such a bad thing. You and Ace have been a couple for a long time and have an unshakeable bond. Even though you're pirates, you're sure that you can lead a carefree life.

You have good cards with the Whitebeard pirates on the Moby Dick and if things get too rough, you're sure that Whitebeard will find an island within his territory where you'll be safe.

It feels like an eternity as you sit on the lid of the toilet with the test still in your hand. You wonder how Ace will react...

Will he be happy? You bet he will! As you daydream, you notice out of the corner of your eye how a second strip appears on the display.

Your eyes widen. I'M PREGNANT!

You scream like crazy, and when I say crazy I mean so loud that everyone on the ship should hear it.

Tears of joy gather as you do a happy dance in the small bathroom.

All of a sudden the door opens with a bang and Ace looks down at you in panic. He must have thought something else had happened because of your loud scream. It almost sounded as if you had been stabbed. At least that's what he must have thought from the look on his face.

“Babe, WHAT happened?!" He scans your body to see if you've suffered any damage, but you're fine.

With a shrill voice, you throw your arms around his neck and hug him tightly. Ace is visibly confused about the situation. He saw that you were crying but you're acting overly happy.

“What's going on?” His voice is a soft laugh as he hugs you tightly and buries his face in your hair. You lean back a little to look him in the face.

“Ace you're going to be a father!!!” At first he doesn't seem to fully grasp what your words mean but as the realization kicks in his eyes widen.

“ARE YOU PREGNANT?!” he grabs you by the shoulders and shouts in your face.

“YEEEESSS!” you shout back as the tears well up in your eyes.

“Please don't mess with me, are we really going to be parents?” His voice cracks a little and you nod silently to him and show him the test you took.

“That's awesome! We have to celebrate!” Just as he was about to leave the bathroom, he stops abruptly and looks at you with a serious face.

“But you're not allowed to drink alcohol!” Even though you roll your eyes, you have to giggle.

“I'm aware of that, my darling.” You go up on your toes to kiss him on the cheek and gently squeeze his hand.

Before you share the happy news, you share a loving moment together and kiss before walking out.

His behavior / During pregnancy: You know he's going to be the dad of the year after how he treats you.

He has taken time off for the duration of your entire pregnancy, with the clear permission of Whitebeard, to be at your side whenever you need him.

You never ask for anything in particular, but he is actually quite attentive and if he sees you putting your feet up with a heavy moan and relaxing on the deck, he comes straight over to pamper you with a foot massage.

-

He once made the extra effort to go to a special island for over 2 days because there was fruit there that you had an extreme craving for.

The funny thing is that he got you so many that at some point you couldn't see them anymore. He had tried to get more creative to avoid wasting the fruits and so he woke you up every morning with a glass of freshly squeezed juice.

He had even tried his luck at baking, but that went terribly wrong… But you found the idea incredibly cute and that's how you found your shared hobby - baking!

Together you created the most delicious things from the leftover fruits and jokes quickly started going around that if you two should settle somewhere, you should definitely open a small bakery.

You don't think that's such a bad idea. A perfect plan B.

-

He is literally glued to your belly and loves to feel your child through your skin. He didn't just cry once, but actually every time he felt your little one kick.

“Oh wow y/n did you feel that?” with his cheek resting on your stomach, he looks excitedly up at your face. You run a hand through his black hair and giggle in response.

“Of course I can feel it, after all, the baby is in my belly.” A little red in the face, he cuddles you and wraps his arms around you.

“Hehe that's true, you're right. I'm just so excited.” - “Me too, Ace…”

Birth/when the baby is around: If one of you is panicking then it's definitely Ace.

You approached him with weak feet to tell him that your water had broken and he immediately jumped up in panic to dash to you.

He definitely didn't know what to do with himself and ran back and forth in a panic to pack some of your things.

You look at him in confusion, not understanding what he is packing all your things for…

“Ace… Ace, stop!” you reach for him as he rushes past you.

“Why are you packing these things, I'm going to give birth on the Moby Dick, remember?” Ace suddenly seemed to remember and dropped the suitcase, which was barely closed.

There were various things scattered on the floor that had fallen out of the suitcase. A short glance at the floor and you burst out laughing.

What on earth has he packed? A few things are halfway understandable, but why would you need a bikini now? Not to mention that you're only going to Marco's infirmary to give birth. If you need anything, then someone else will get it… After all, your room is only a few meters away.

He carefully carried you in his arms to the infirmary and luckily for you, the birth took place without any complications.

When Marco wanted to hand the baby over to Ace, Ace didn't want to hold your little one in his arms at first.

“Oh no, give it first y/n, she had all the hard work so she should be first.” Even though he wanted you to have it first, he gazed longingly after the baby as Marco placed it in your arms.

He sat down on a chair next to you and clasped his hands together, watching you with pure pride.

You can hardly believe it yourself, but you are overjoyed…

“Ace, we're parents now…”

-

Ace loves to play with the child, even changing diapers is no problem. He is already looking forward to running around the deck of the Moby Dick with your child.

-

He always has a few bottles filled with milk on his belt and with the help of his devil fruit he can heat them up. It's like he's wearing a belt with grenades, you know? :D He skillfully spins the bottle in his hand and warms it to the perfect temperature to feed your hungry baby. You don't have to say anything or rush to the child because Ace is a responsible dad and loves to look after the little one.

-

Your child is just as much a ray of sunshine as you are and has the wild features of Ace. A combination that is impossible to resist.

Ace is definitely the fun parent of the two of you. You can already see how difficult it will be for him to stand his ground later on.

𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐱𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐃𝐨𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐨

Telling him you're pregnant: He wants you to bear his child.

You don't need to 'confess' it to him because it's a planned child. You are actively trying to get pregnant and as active as you are in bed, it didn't take long for the pregnancy test to come back positive.

“Wonderful news my little dove… You should be rewarded. What do you say? What does my little dove want, huh?” He leans down to you and lifts your chin with his finger.

There's a slight blush on your cheeks because Doflamingo's voice always sounds so seductive, no matter what he says. For a moment, you think about what he said. You're still a little excited that you're carrying his child.

“fufufufu… Is there anybody home in that pretty little head of yours?” a crooked grin graces his lips as he flicks your forehead.

You quickly regain your composure but your face turns red.

“Ah, I'm sorry my love, I'm just really happy that I've lost my voice.”

His laughter rings deep through the room as he pulls you onto his lap.

When you came into his office, he knew exactly what kind of message you had for him because when he's working, even you can't disturb him unless he calls for you.

He lavishes your hand with soft kisses and travels along your arm with more kisses until he gets past your neck and to your mouth.

You enjoy his tender touch as if it were already the reward, but you know that Doflamingo wouldn't accept this, so you think about it while you kiss sensually.

His big hands run over your figure and find a hold on your ass. He interrupts your kiss and if you pay close attention you can guess where his eyes are behind those red sunglasses.

“Tell me my love, what would make you even happier, huh?”

His whisper tickles your lips a little and in the back of your mind you already have an idea of what you want the most.

“Doffy, I really want to go shopping with you and buy things for the baby…” - “Your wish is my command.”

His behavior / During pregnancy: Hardly any different than before, but you'll be even more pampered.

Doflamingo will provide you with all the necessary servants to look after your wellbeing, and when you go into the city, more bodyguards than usual will follow you wherever you go.

His remark is still stuck in your mind: “…After all, there are 2 people to protect now…” he said to you as you were baffled by the amount of guards.

-

Even if he has to work a lot as king, he will always find time for you. He likes to take you out, and with luxurious appointments at the spa or a private visit to a hot spring, he'll make sure you're always relaxed.

Princess treatment is nothing new to you but since you are pregnant you have at least one professional massage a day besides the other appointments you have for your own comfort.

Manicure, pedicure, hairdresser, face masks, aqua aerobics to relax your tired bones, you name it.

-

The chefs are warned that whenever you are hungry for whatever, they have to prepare your every wish. No matter how late.

You fancy a special dish from the South Blue? Doflamingo had brought someone specially for you who can prepare any specialty with brilliance. He shows you his love through acts of service.

Birth/when the baby is around: He is smitten with the little miracle you have created and is already filled with pride.

He won't be there at birth but he will be the first one you see when you open your eyes. Just when you are at your most vulnerable, he will leave it to no one but himself to protect you.

-

You never thought Doflamingo could be so loving to a baby, but when you thought about it, he was always good to the kids in the gang. From the outside it may look like he's only interested in the skills, but you know for a fact that he respects and loves each of them as a member of the family.

At first you were a bit worried because you gave birth to a girl. After all, you were supposed to give him an heir to the throne.

“My dearest, that you have given me a daughter who is just as beautiful as her mother is like a gift from the gods.” While a few servants took care of your sweet girl to give you a break, he made certain insinuations.

“And who says one child is enough for me?”

His fingers gently stroked your skin while you had brunch on a picnic blanket in the castle garden. You blush immediately because you know exactly what he's getting at.

Another child with Doffy? You look after your daughter as she plays happily wearing a little pink feather dress that resembles Doflamingo's cape.

You shyly confess to him that you would love to have more children from him and before you could really finish talking he took you in his arms, ordered the servant to continue looking after your daughter and whisked you away to your bedchamber.

-

Doflamingo actually loves to dress your child :3

You know… You, him and your daughter in matching clothes… You're always well dressed.

𝐄𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐊𝐢𝐝

Telling him you're pregnant: He thinks you're joking and laughs as he turns his back to you and continues fixing his metal arm.

“I'm sorry Kid but I'm serious. I'm pregnant!”

He turns around because of your serious yet trembling voice.

You're not entirely happy either. You'd like to be happy, but you and Kid? Is that such a good idea? You stroke your arm feeling a little insecure as you stand in his workshop like a lost mess.

“Pregnant women have no place on the Victoria Punk…” - “What's that supposed to mean? Are you kicking me off the crew?!” You interrupt him with a raised voice. Your face is already turning red, but not from anger. You try to suppress your tears.

He grits his teeth in annoyance and approaches you with a pulsating vein on his forehead.

“What the fuck y/n! NO. Of course not!” You should just let him finish before you imagine something stupid.

He grabs you by the shoulders and pulls you close so that your noses are touching.

His eyes are filled with rage. You are always too hasty with your assumptions…

You look a little startled, but you know he's no threat to you when he gets this close because his grip is still gentle... You immediately regret accusing him of something like that. You know he would never kick you out of the gang. You were just too emotional…

His behavior / During pregnancy: He is constantly thinking of ways to do something useful for you and the baby but you hardly notice any of that.

His behavior doesn't really change in front of you. He's still a short tempered dickhead and that often leads to problems between you, especially now that you're having such hormonal swings.

-

It can always be dangerous on the Victoria Punk and sometimes you'll have to fight in the middle of the open sea. If Kid isn't around then Killer definitely is, because you are not 'allowed' to lift a finger.

You found this quite annoying in the first few weeks, after all you are still able to move quite well and you love to jump into the fight with the others.

After your first argument regarding this, you went your separate ways in a rage. A very typical picture after an argument between you; Kid disappears into his workshop and you flee to the crow's nest. What follows is days of ignoring each other until one of you can't take it anymore. But this time Killer followed you.

Killer broke the silence between you by simply telling you that Kid had a valid reason why you shouldn't fight and that you should please let him finish his explanation without butting in. A little offended, you wanted to say something at first, but you drop your shoulder and close your mouth. Even if you're angry, Killer doesn't deserve to suffer your rage. Kid is the one your anger is directed at. Your silence is Killer's signal that he is free to speak.

Your angry face quickly changed to a tearful one. The reason is as simple as it is understandable and you curse at Kid in a sobbing voice.

“Why doesn't he fucking tell me like you just did!” Your masked friend shrugs. That's a question that even Kid himself might not be able to answer.

“I think he's pissed off why you don't just let him do it, like you don't trust his decisions and then he gets…” “…Furious.” you finish his sentence. That's what Kid is like, a hothead but your hothead.

“Yep. Furious.” - “Argh! My fucking goodness no! I just don't want to be a burden and join the fight!” You feel bad.

Kid knows that you don't have a round belly at the beginning of your pregnancy, but Killer told you in secret that he's been reading books about pregnancy. Kid can read? That's the first thing that surprises you and then the fact that he reads pregnancy books of all things!

Not even you thought about it and suddenly you feel like a bad mom. Kid is really worried about you because he has read that stress and physical activity are a risk no matter what stage you are in.

The same evening you two reconciled. You apologized to him and didn't question anything, because otherwise Killer would be in serious trouble. Since then, you've simply accepted your fate.

-

You made an unexpected discovery in his workshop... There was a rather large object 'hidden' in the room, covered up so that you could only make out a rectangular shape.

Kid never covers anything in his workshop, so you got curious and looked what was hidden under the big cloth. You could hardly believe your eyes as you rubbed them in disbelief.

There was a crib in front of you and you're pretty sure he built it. The frame is up for debate, as the crib is made entirely of metal and almost looks like a cage that is open at the top… The metal bars give you prison vibes but your heart melts at his efforts.

On closer inspection, it actually looks quite cute too. He's even made a mobile with small figurines that look like fish and sea kings.

You don't even notice how the door opens behind you as you spin the mobile.

“So you found it, huh?” Startled, you turn around with one hand on your chest. You were so immersed that you didn't hear Kid coming up behind you.

With tears streaming down your face, you throw your arms around Kid's neck.

“I LOVE IT!”

Kid is generally proud of his work but your words are like music to his ears and with a grin he returns your embrace.

-

“What are you doing y/n?” You jolt as you push the furniture around in your shared room. Still standing on the doorstep with his hand on the handle, Kid looks at you with a raised eyebrow. You were just about to push an armchair across the room and in the middle of your movement you stop and grin at him, somewhat caught off guard.

“Uh, I… I'm just making some space…” - “Space?” A little annoyed, you raise an eyebrow; he could help you rather than ask you weird questions, after all, you're heavily pregnant. You put your hands on your hips a little bitchily.

“Yes, space! Don't just stand there and start helping. I'll make room for the baby?” Kid grumbles and sits down on the armchair. Confused, you gesture to him what this is supposed to mean, that clearly isn't any help. Kid's behavior confuses you a little, because his attitude is so different than usual.

Somehow he looks 'thoughtful'… Normally, he would have grabbed the armchair with his metal arm and taken it to where you want it. Why is he sitting down and looking at you with that confusing expression?

You raise your eyebrows questioningly and wait for a reasonable explanation. Struggling to find the right words, he scratches his chin, with his eyes focused elsewhere.

What's wrong with him? He seems to be lost in his thoughts? You don't recognize that from him. He seems to be preoccupied with something, but instead of ranting out loud or speaking rashly, he sits in front of you almost calmly.

His gaze tends to avoid you as he stares absently into space and you lean down towards him, visibly confused. His eyes look directly into yours and he groans a little irritated.

“Listen, you don't have to make room here because the baby's not moving in.” With your eyebrows drawn together, you lean back again and look down at the redhead. Well, not really down because Kid is pretty tall, let's say you're looking at him at eye level.

“Excuse me? The baby's not moving in here? The baby is not a roommate who we don't want to move in with… The…-” You stop your sentence abruptly and look down at your lips, where Kid's hand is resting. Kid doesn't have the nerve to listen to your rambling. You're taking it the wrong way again. But that's more his fault, because he always says things so stupidly, he's aware of that, but he's trying his best.

“Shut up for once, will you?” - “Excuse me?” You let out a muffled voice through his hand.

He growls at you a little as he lets go of you and stands up. Your gaze goes up to him while his goes down to you. There you both stand in front of each other, each with an annoyed look on your face.

“Do you remember that the Victoria Punk is no place for babies?” You think for a moment. You remember that and the fact that you thought he was going to kick you from the crew. You didn't really discuss what he meant by that, but now you're all ears.

“You and the baby will live in our hideaway.” - “WHAT?!” You're so perplexed that you spit a bit at him. Without taking his eyes off you, he wipes the spit off his chin. A little blushed, you mumble an apology.

Kid has no intention of leaving you there alone. He'll stop by often and try to stay as long as he can, but as captain, he has a duty to run his ship. He has made it clear to you in a surprisingly calm voice that it would not be a good environment for your child to grow up on the Victoria... If at all. It's too dangerous and what if something happens to your child? He's made the decision, that's how it's going to be done and there's no changing that.

You can more than understand his thoughts, but it would be nice if he had discussed this with you.

“You know Kid, you may be the captain but I'm still the mother of our child and before you make decisions like this you should talk to me!” You have to tiptoe a little as you point your finger at him. Rolling his eyes, he takes your hand away and gently pulls you towards him.

“You can make all the decisions in the hideout… For example, you can decorate the house however you like. No matter what it costs.” Your eyes light up at his words, “Apology accepted!”

Birth/when the baby is around: You will never see this man cry again. Only in your memories…

When he saw the sleeping face of your picture perfect child for the first time, a switch flipped in him. Who would have thought that Kid would ever have such feelings? The feeling of unfathomable love. The love he has for you is completely different, because he has learned to love you. But this baby? For your child, a love had been born in him that brought tears to his eyes. He will not learn to love this child. No. He will simply love your child more each day!

-

He is a bit reluctant to hold the baby, he even confessed to you that he is afraid of it because of his arm. He doesn't want to crush the baby. Watching him look at you with a crushed look on his face while you hold the baby is making you sad, so you think of something. You wrap a scarf around him and put your little one in the pouch so that he is lying on his chest. The sight is so wonderful. This tall, broad man with a baby carrier! How adorable.

Masterlist

'Hope you enjoyed it <3

[decepti-thots]

while i'm talking about Whirl, one thing i've been meaning to talk about for ages just in a 'i am aware some people may not actually know this, and it hardly gets mentioned in fandom' is that Whirl in Interiors talking about briefly trying to change his name when he was a flight instructor at the flight academy is a reference to a passage in Bullets, which is in retrospect very obviously him:

Jetstream had taught him to recognize his inherent worthlessness. In front of the other cadets he'd always been supportive, but in private he would berate him for showing off and for getting ideas above his station. “You think you're something special?” he used to say. “You think you’re better than the rest, better than me, just because you can turn a few tricks? On a good day - on your best day - I’d say you were unremarkable.” Rotorstorm’s only response to Jetstream’s verbal abuse was to make jokes. If you can make light of the situation, he'd think, it can’t be as bad as it seems. Over time, Jetstream’s verbal abuse... evolved. On one occasion, Rotorstorm was pushed against a wall. On another, he was punched to the floor. Before long, he was on the receiving end of sustained and entirely unprovoked beatings. The worst day of Rotorstorm’s life - worse than the day war was declared; worse than the day of the Simanzi Massacre - was the day the IAA installed a Cryogenic Regeneration Chamber. He couldn't remember what he’d done to deserve that night's battering, but as he lay on the floor of the aircraft hangar, his torso freshly pummeled, his spinal strut bent at a right angle and his face reduced to a shallow bowl of oil and splinters, he saw something he would never forget: Jetstream was standing over him, fists clenched and head cocked, coolly appraising his options. And the look of exhilaration on his face as he wondered where to place the next punch had been terrifying. Rotorstorm had passed out before Jetstream had finished shoveling him into the CR Chamber, and had woken up the next day without a single scratch on his body. Jetstream had left overnight; he moved to a training facility in another province and later changed his name. Since then, Rotorstorm had seen him only once: he'd been sitting in the front row when Rotorstorm had been awarded the Novic Medal for Outstanding Valor, and he’d been clapping and cheering more loudly than anyone else.

and this is a really fascinating thing to consider for me because if you just describe the whole thing briefly in the abstract, it's gonna likely sound like one of two things:

whirl tried to turn over a new leaf with a new name, and it worked for a time but ultimately he couldn't and went back to his old life

whirl tried to turn over a new leaf with a new name, but he couldn't and was just as much of an aggro wildcard as ever so gave up

but this is... kind of not either of those, including the last one? whirl IS acting like the violent, bitter, unpredictable asshole we come to meet in MTMTE and know he was during the war, to an extent, but he's also clearly succesfully keeping up something of a facade of really inhabiting that 'not Whirl, nope, i'm a Normal Flight Instructor' in public. it's only to rotorstorm he's not, seemingly. (and even then, the way rotorstorm describes him here is... really cold and deliberate in a way that feels kind of different to what we see later.)

obviously it's. i mean it's SO deeply unpleasant, very effectively communicated in terms of how awful and traumatising that kind of thing is btw a+ but also Jesus Fucking Christ, but it also suggests to me a very specific experience Whirl is having in this period of his life that isn't quite either of those obvious choices. pokes at it. god. what the fuck is going through your head you terrible helicopter you.

[imagine-a-sanctuary-like-this]

My (cautious) thoughts about the Good Omens/NG happenings

I've not been in the Good Omens fandom for a couple years. Season 2 briefly re-ignited my interest, but after watching it, I basically lost interest for good. A mix of things drove me away, I think mostly that (1) I thought Season 2 quite poorly-written, and, more relevant to this post, (2) I'd grown a little tired of the Neil Gaiman idolizing that I'd seen in the online fandom spaces.

So that said, I care little about the S3 90-minute-feature situation (though I'm glad the remaining fans will get some closure). And, of course, I do not know if Gaiman actually did all what he's being accused of - that doesn't really matter to what I'm about to discuss. More interestingly, this puts me in mind of something that's been bothering me about many fandom spaces, and I wanted to pen (digital pen?) my thoughts.

To me, what seems to be going on right now's a good demonstration of why over-attaching yourself to a fandom and idolizing creators, especially those that you see as your 'political ally', is probably not a great idea. From what I've seen, GOmens fans aren't just upset but rather deeply personally betrayed. This reminds me (distantly) of the Joss Whedon craze when BTVS fans basically elevated him to 'writing god'/genius status, and all but worshipped him (as seen in many notes to fanfics written in the early 2000s).

In my view, a similar but much more personal 'idolization' happened with Gaiman. (more under the line thingie)

A lot of fandom discourse (that I've seen) doesn't seem to get that creators, no matter how politically aligned with one's own views, aren't fictional characters, they aren't one's friends, nor are they 'comfort people'. I mean, I guess they could be insofar as you make them into your 'comfort people', but it's through no action of theirs. Nothing wrong (of course) in taking comfort in an author's work, but clearly for many it's a far more personal thing that just that.

Another thing: interacting with the creator's work and social media presence, one is NOT interacting with them, nor really getting to know them. Sometimes fandoms seem to forget this and kind of just perpetuate this made-up version of the author that shares very little with the actual human being that exists somewhere out there in the world, has flaws (small or... not so small), and probably occasionally acts dishonest, petty, judgmental, selfish, etc. in the best of cases. That it doesn't happen publicly doesn't mean it never happens at all. Attaching oneself to a made-up, idealized version of an author (making it 'YOUR Neil Gailman', 'YOUR comfort author') probably feels nice, but it kind of distorts reality. Makes you feel like the author's a lot personally closer to you than they actually are, like you know them better than you actually do.

It makes sense why this happens: no one likes to feel that the creator of something they love's not a great person. At least, it's hard to come to terms with this suddenly. I had a similar (though much less intense) experience with this one creator, S, whose content on medieval armor/weaponry I enjoyed very much. Later, S turned out to be... not such a great person. And yeah, it felt unpleasant, precisely because I liked the guy's content AND I liked his public persona, and ended up disappointed in both. Because I liked both in connection to each other, not independently. In this case, it didn't take long to separate the artist from the content, but in cases like GOmens emotional investment runs much more intense.

But so I think this is a big part of what's happening here with the NG situation: quite a few GO fans have let it get to that stage where they've identified so strongly with a creator through his works, political support and public persona that they felt like they actually deeply knew them. All the info going against that seems to come as not just a disappointment because NG did something immoral (which, if the allegations are true, he obviously did!) but rather a very personal betrayal. The sentiment I'm seeing seems to be less 'oh, this guy I liked isn't really who I thought he was, this sucks', and more 'I have been betrayed/hurt/deceived', as in 'me, personally'.

On the same note, I feel like this relates, too, to the 'x is so precious', 'x needs to be protected at all costs', 'x can do no wrong' kind of mentality about favourite authors, which seemed pervasive in the GO community (at least when I used to run in those fandom circles a couple years back).

So in my mind, we're seeing (and, in some cases, feeling) the natural conclusion to undue author idolization. It never really pays to forget that authors, like all public figures, only show a small part of themselves, and letting your imagination get away from you with just that part... well. Maybe not a great idea?

(I'd love to hear others' thoughts on this! Leave a comment if you disagree, think I've missed an important or interesting detail, or just to express your take on this)

[lantur]

I've read lately about the value of doing a 10-minute journaling session on most days to help relieve stress and clear your mind, so here goes. Things I've been thinking about:

I love brushing Westin in the morning. He loves when I brush his face and he purrs so much when I do that. I feel like mornings are our special time together - I give him breakfast and the scraps of milk left from my tea, and he sits with me while I stretch on the rug before I go to the gym. Starting every day with him is great.

How lonely it can be to be a student. I spent most of today catching up on work at my job and at school. I didn't get to hang out with David for playing board games and watching our show until the evening, and I missed him. I've been feeling a bit lonely lately. I think it's because of all the time I now spend doing my readings and writing papers, on my own. It needs to be done, but it's still an adjustment.

I've been feeling more anxious lately, and it may be because of how short the days feel.

Long-term goals. It's been a year and three months since I got back into weightlifting. I'm proud of how my routine has paid off, but it's taken a lot of consistency. There are some goals where the progress is measured in months or years, and I'm right in the middle of that with learning Spanish and with school. The path ahead feels so long. I'm trying to encourage myself by reminding myself to take one day at a time, rather than thinking of the ~3 years that are ahead for Spanish and the ~1.5 years that are ahead for school.

It seems surreal that I'm scheduling meetings for December and already thinking about things that will happen in January - March of 2025. Where did this year go?

the final thought - trigger warning for pandemic-related matters,

The news is stressing me out -- bird flu news, recalls for e.coli in ground beef and carrots. The truth is that this time of year brings up frightening and unpleasant memories for me. I didn't even realize that until last Monday, when I was in line at Target and happened to read an article about bird flu on The Guardian.

It was late November/December of 2019 when I first started to see posts on Reddit about Covid in Wuhan. I remember seeing the speculation in Reddit comments about what would happen to the world if this coronavirus could experience widespread transmission outside of the localized region where it was identified. I remember asking David if the stuff I was seeing on reddit was legit and if this would be a problem for us. He said no, don't worry.

I remember the way things unfolded from November to March, and how deeply scary and uncertain things were in March. It's November again, I've seen articles about bird flu crossing my path on The Guardian and CNN again, and it scares me. I never want to go through a repeat of 2020.

I've started gradually building up on cat food for Westin, canned beans and tomatoes, cooking oil, and planning on doing some other shopping, just in case. All this has been on my mind for days but I haven't told anyone besides David or my in-laws or written about it on here because I don't want to be a crazy person or paranoid or frighten others. But I would be dishonest to myself and my friends if I didn't admit that was a big cause of my anxiety lately.

I will breathe easier when we make it through the end of March.

I am trying to give myself grace because as I write about it now, I know that 2020 was a legitimately traumatizing event for the world, and that applies to me too as someone who lived through it. Winter is dark and cold, and things have felt frightening and uncertain in the United States due to the political situation since earlier this month. It's sort of the perfect storm for anxiety in a person who has a long history of anxiety.

I think I can try to cope with this by again, focusing on taking things one day at a time.

[namisweatheria]

I can't believe someone actually wrote Sakura hate on my Nami defending post. Anyone who knows me would shriek in horror. I'm so enraged I've tried and failed to begin this post about a million times now.

While I find it a massive failure of a person's quality of intelligence and character to hate on misogynistically-written characters using the exact same language as the larger misogynistic fanbase who also hates them, despite thinking of themselves as somehow different, in general... when it comes to Haruno Sakura at this point if you're out here on the internet in 2024 saying negative things about her in random comment sections I genuinely think you're a clueless idiot and I hate your stupid guts. lol

The online mania of Sakura hatred left it's fucking mark on people who grew up as girls watching Naruto. I honestly wasn't a very online kid, so I only know about that from my friends' experiences, but how the show itself treated her left it's mark on me all on it's own. And I can see the legacy of that mania online now! Anything that so much as mentions female characters, or sexism, or annoying characters, in anime, will get mean comments about her. It's still here and it's infuriating!

Everyone should be able to separate the bigoted writing that can make a character unpleasant, and the character itself. Otherwise one just ends up contributing to the wave of hatred from bigoted fans. That always ends up hurting real people!

The widespread out-sized fervent hatred of Sakura is particularly something there is no excuse to continue to add to. At this point she represents so much more than a specific character. She symbolizes the continuation of a fucked up online culture that directs their ire at female shounen characters instead of the men who wrote them into horrible little boxes.

So, I don't even have to defend her actual character. It's not really about that. I'm going to anyways though. Because I love her to pieces and so much said about her is just slander.

Sakura fucking rules and is a compelling sympathetic character with a good arc, she was just written by a man who hates women and takes every single opportunity to put his female characters in their place. (The fucking background, kitchen, or grave.) Sometimes all three in that order!

Sakura's worst crime is being a 12 year old Girl. She's insensitive, as 12 year olds can be. She's hyper-conforming to hetero-feminine roles, as her society expects her to be, and she's over-the-top and embarrassing about it, because she's 12.

In the beginning she's often weak and scared in the background, because that's the box she was put into as The Girl. If she had gotten to have equal capability with her teammates early on then Kishimoto wouldn't have been able to focus totally on the male characters he actually cared about. To blame her for that instead of sympathizing with the angst it caused her is so heartless and backwards.

All the writing involving Sasuke fucking sucked, and Sakura's the biggest victim of that. The whole "charm" of their "romance" is that she'll stand by him and love him no matter how terribly he treats her. Does that not sound fucking familiar. It is some of the most basic misogyny there is. That is an age-old evil expectation put on countless women, not a cute story. Hating their "romance", but expressing it by blaming her for being put into that role by Kishimoto is so fucking stupid.

(Also, it's so, so, easy to interpret her hyper performative heterosexuality as closeted lesbianism. She's so unintentionally gay-coded, especially her relationship with Ino.)

It very much happens silently in the background, because I think Kishimoto will spontaneously start choking on his own blood if he tries to focus on a female character instead of his male faves for more than a single minute, but Sakura does have a good arc! Remember Inner-Sakura? She was treated as just a gag, but if you take her seriously for a second you'll realize it was actually deeply disturbing.

Sakura was repressing her anger and goofiness, because she was trying so hard to be this want-able, feminine girl. It wasn't just her unspoken thoughts, she had a whole alternate personality tucked away because of the trauma of being a girl in a sexist society.

Ino describes it here as "A whole other psyche" and is so disturbed by it she asks her, "What are you?"

The most interesting, satisfying thing about Inner-Sakura is: She goes away. She goes away after Sakura trains under a strong, successful, funny, angry, loud woman. Tsunade helps Sakura express her anger instead of repressing it, just by being near her, she shows her the kind of woman she can be. She encourages her and teaches her to be strong and shows her it's okay to be mad. Now when Sakura is angry she can yell and punch a mountain into dust about it.

It's very much in the background, but it happens. And it's everything. How could you not care about it, once you notice it? How can you not care about her?

One of the most annoying things people say about Sakura is that she became strong out of nowhere. I think those people just weren't paying fucking attention to her lol.

Not to mention, if Naruto and Sasuke can each get super-powered Sannin to train them personally, why can't Sakura? What's wrong with that? She wanted desperately to keep up with them, to be strong enough to protect them, and she knew exactly who to go to. Why wouldn't you root for her?

So what if there's nothing that makes her special, to those who only care about genetic abilities and tailed beasts. She works hard. She fights tooth and nail. There's a reason she gets along so well with Rock Lee. In Kakashi's words, "Like Naruto, Sakura possesses a heart that cannot bear to be beaten." In Sakura's:

God, just. How can you not be obsessed with her? It's not her fault the sexist mangaka couldn't let her keep developing on-screen for more than one chapter per 30 volumes without actually grappling with the fact that there's a third person in his stupid two person narrative. She's so fucking great she's crazy she's rude she's funny she's audacious she has guts!!!!!!!!!!! You absolutely cannot come into my space with a negative word on her name. Love and respect Haruno Sakura or simply die.

[gaydiation-poisoning]

Revali from BoTW for the character opinion bingo!

Ohhhh you're gonna get me killed by the fandom for this one, that there is a character I have some BAGGAGE with

Okay here's my thing

I kinda despise Revali And it sucks because I really REALLY don't want to

Story time

I grew up playing Wind Waker, it was my first video game ever, and from that game the Rito were my favorite race, and they remained my favorite all these years. You probably wouldn't be able to find someone more hyped than me for the return of these beautiful birds.

So. April 2017. When I got my hands on BOTW I decided I'd save the Rito zone for last, I'd kept myself blind so I could go in and experience everything purely.

So imagine my surprise when I unlock the champion I'd been most excited for, the Rito, the champion of my favorite Zelda race from my earliest childhood memories.

And he was a complete fucking douchebag

At first I was like oh :( well okay maybe we'll be given some more information on him and it'll be better!! After all characters with huge egos can be extremely fun!!!

So I maintained hope that maybe the upcoming DLC would give us something

December 2017

We got something!! A teeny tiny fragment that suggested maybe Revali's ego was just a coverup for a deeply troubled bird, it was hardly anything at all but it was something.

But then his journal made him like 10 times worse in such a way that the DLC honestly didn't do much but make him more insufferable

So I was deeply saddened, they'd given us something but simultaneously made him more unlikeable. I thought that would be the end of it. But then!! Hyrule Warriors Age of Calamity was announced. And I was THRILLED. FINALLY. we were going to get AN ENTIRE game alongside the champions, I was gonna get more content for Best Girl Mipha, and FINALLY AN ENTIRE GAME'S WORTH OF CHANCES TO GIVE REVALI SOME CHARACTERIZATION. YES!!!!

November 2020. AOC comes out. Holy. Fucking. Shit. Revali what did they do to you? To my shock he'd graduated from a little unlikeable to downright unpleasant to watch. Even my best friend, a diehard Revali fan through and through, could not STAND what they'd done with him. We got a whole game with this guy and they basically spent the whole thing trashing this guy's character. He was arrogant to the point of annoying, horribly rude to characters who had done nothing to earn it, and overall was just kinda a ballache. And not even in the 'fun annoying character' way.

But hey!! AOC was getting DLC as well!!! That is meant to flesh out the characters more!!! We'll definitely get something there!!

October 2021. Guardian of Remembrance comes out. Yeah this DLC gave us fuck all really. That goes for all the champions, but I think Revali suffered pretty bad in this regard. Some of the scenes with Tulin were cute but they didn't do much in terms of Revali's character.

And....that's where we are now. Tears of the Kingdom is on the horizon, and I highly doubt we're gonna get much on the Champions in this game but...well I've maintained hope for six years already, why stop now?

So yeah my feelings on Revali are...complicated to say the least. There's so much I love about him, his design is probably my favorite of the Champions (next to Mipha), he easily has like...the best voice in the whole fucking game, and the character POTENTIAL is absolutely incredible. But all in all it feels like they've done nothing with that potential, for what is supposed to be the most Character driven era of Zelda to date, it truly feels like they've let his character stagnate, if not actively regress in a way that I REALLY do not vibe with.

I can see what people can love about him, god knows I've done more when provided with less in a character. It's not the ego that gets me, I love cocky characters, ffs my favorite BOTW character is Master Kohga for crying out loud, and that man has a damn near god complex. (Kohga, incidentally, has LEGITIMATELY EXPERIENCED MORE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT THAN REVALI. WHAT.)

Like I'm not saying I want his character to do a full 180, just a couple more scenes like what we got in Champion's Ballad, just a couple more cracks in the facade would have done wonders. But instead they just kept him rather one note. Feels bad man.

Ultimately it feels like they're just going in circles with this character, arguably the Champion with the most potential to be interesting and they're doing fuck all with it. I can see why people love him, but idk, I've dealt with a few people irl with egos like that and that's probably not helped.

Idk, I guess this character managed to regress perfectly into a niche I cannot stand, and it sucks because it feels like such a personal loss to me.

I guess to put it very shortly

Revali is a bully. And I'll take a full blown villain over a bully any day.

[hosticaaa]

𝕯𝖆𝖇𝖎 ; Discrimination.

Woke up thinking Dabi thoughts so heres a hodge podge of things on my mind that I can't remember if I've talked about on tumbluh before but I know some things were brought up on discord ;

Made a post on Dabi's blog the other day mentioning the interaction between Dabi and Nejire in One's justice where Nejire asks Dabi is he's in pain/if he's okay due to his burns and honestly ? This is soooo important and Its wild to think that she's one of the few/only people who have shown empathy/concern about Dabi's condition. Like Dabi's burns are very gruesome and very obvious, they don't go unnoticed by people. While I do HC that some people initially think he's some kind of heteromorph, the fact that even when people realize those are wounds or that theres something "wrong" their usual reactions are disgust / shame toward him or fear. Their general approach when Dabi was homeless before he joined the LoV was to pretty much just shoo him away so he can go off and die somewhere like a diseased animal because whatevers wrong with him isn't their problem and they're disgusted and frightened by it. And tbh this hasn't just been the civilian reaction to Dabi either. Heroes have reacted very much the same. Theres two different things Hori did that I can recall that emphasize this. One is Hawks report, where Dabis smell is mentioned by Mirko and where he gets the "thoroughly wretched and unpleasant creature" treatment outright according to Hawks. ( Bombastic side eye bird boy. Like its hilarious and kind of understandable but also smh ) And the next is a doodle Hori did where Endeavor, Hawks and Mirko all mockingly react to Dabi smelling bad much to Dabi's frustration. And like wow, it might just be a joke image but its... Yeah. Because that's not even technically two strangers shaming him for something he can't help, one of them is his own dad, even though Endeavor had no idea Dabi was the remains of Toya at this point and the image isn't really canon, you get the idea.

And I think imo this further highlights the fails of Hero Society because, yeah, heroes are supposed to just be kind people who wanted to use their abilities to help others in need but society sucks and twisted heroes into tools for governments and bodies of power to ensure the continued oppression and control of their people in the wake of humanity growing beyond its human constraints ( side note the fact that so few people grasp these aspects of MHA blow my mind like its explicitly spoken about in canon on multiple occasions, the whole series is deeply xmen and similarly makes commentary on oppression, bigotry government corruption etc. Quirks are 1 for 1 allegories for Racism (Spinner), Ableism (Dabi and Twice), Queerphobia (Himiko and Magne) and Compress, Tomura and Stain working as robin hood-like figures who stand up for the common folk against these injustices and help / support / spur rebel groups to fight back. ) All the League are people who hero society has explicitly failed and oppressed, they've all been discriminated against and harmed for very unfair reasons that spit upon the virtues Hero society claims to uphold, and Hori very much displays this as a wrong that needs to be righted and it flies right over peoples heads but, anyway, I digress.

Dabi's own experience this way is similar to Tomura's, who was rejected and ignored and left homeless to have who knows what happen to him by everyone but AFO in his hour of need as a literal five year old child. A whole five year old child wasn't considered worth saving or helping because he simply "looked scary" and anyone who encountered him figured it wasn't their business and heroes could take care of it except none of them ever did.

Mentioned in one of my other hcs here, Dabi did have a kindly old man who helped him when he was younger, but he was one of the very few people who did. As far as my Dabi Lore goes, yeah Dabi did actually go to the hospital on the old mans advice with the money he gave him but ultimately ended up running away again before he could be properly seen to by doctors. He didn't know what to tell them about his burns, how he got like this or who he was. It was a scary unknown to him that could lead to things he didn't or couldn't deal with and he'd already had a pretty weird experience with a doctor and people that claimed to want to help him but obviously didn't (Garaki/Afo) so Dabi never got that medical attention and continued to not seek it.

Which brings me to thinking about the time my friend brought up their HC in an IC chat about Enji being very resilient to sickness thanks to his quirk and Dabi lamenting how he wished he got that part of Enji's quirk because he always feels kind of sick But the thing is Dabi does kinda have that factor of Enji's quirk he just doesn't know it. Its probably why Dabi has never got a severe infection. Aside from the supernatural literal zombie aspects of Dabi I've mentioned a few times, Dabi's stayed safe from unpleasant things he'd otherwise be a playground for if he didn't have Enji's quirk as a zombie boy.

Kinda gross so don't read on if you're easily grossed out A particular example is Dabi's heat/flames are also why he's never been flyblown despite the condition of his rotting burns. He's mentioned rats have tried to eat him in his sleep a few times but ultimately despite the fact a lot of his body is made up of dead tissue hence the funky smell he has, thanks to his flames, he's been kept clean of maggots and other nasties living in his dead skin. So yeah, in a weird, dark way Dabi's flames have worked similarity to Enji's in keeping him """healthy""".

And yeah, like, no Dabi doesn't like this part of himself. He's not cool with it. His apathy isn't because he really doesn't care or things aren't as bad as they are but he can't change it. He feels his own shame and guilt towards his burns and the state of his body. He's comforted by the idea that he's not going to live much longer and has romanticized/idealize his own death with this concept of the fact that when he goes all out all his rotting skin will all be burned away and he'll become nothing but a pretty, pure blue flame. Thats an appealing, comforting death to him with everything he's living with now. And on a similar note I wanna say despite all this Dabi doesn't hate his quirk. He doesn't even hate his disability. He's cool with these things. Hell, he loves his quirk. He's not really ashamed that it burns him and he doesn't feel as if he can't do as much as the able-bodied quirk haver can, he just knows or knew he needed to do things a little differently or a little less which doesn't bother him at all. The shame he feels is largely because of the blame he's been forced to feel by the people around him. By his dad who instantly pulled the rug out from under him when his disability was discovered due to his own Issues ™️ which were also largely thanks to workings of Hero Society, to the way other people have treated him ever since. So while he does feel shame and feel some things are his own fault when they're not, he's also generally aware society is the real "big bad" here and its a huge factor in why he so strongly follows Stain and why Stain and his ideology is so important to Dabi.

[thepolyamorouspolymath]

Y'all, I heard some shit on first date Friday. It was an experience that ranks up with the very worst first dates -- keep in mind, on one a guy ditched me at dinner going out the back, then waited in his car to try to follow me home. I do think the "I could have been murdered" experience was worse but not by much.

(A bit of back story, this guy knows I am not a huge fan of significant substance use, and the reasons why.)

I show up and he has been drinking heavily he already had whiskey dick (I know, there's a reason I never fuck on the first date, but I'd kinda written him off anyway but there were some compelling reasons to give it a shot that I'm not going to dive into -- you're welcome for the reprieve.) Tries to fuck me while not really hard anyway.

After he tells me he knows I don't like drug use so he was going into the bathroom to use coke, because I guess he thought my problem with it was aesthetic? No, I have no fucking clue what he was thinking and he couldn't explain when I point out the problem with it.

Next came one of the weirdest moments I've had during sex -- which saying something because I've had some odd sex -- he decided to try talking dirty in the mildly degrading way... by telling me he was disappointed in me for something I had just done.

Oh yeah, I safeworded then and there.

Puts porn on his phone to watch while I'm giving him head WHILE TELLING ME HOW MUCH HE LIKED WATCHING ME GIVE HIM HEAD. The fucking irony of that moment. When I confronted him on that he tried to say something about me having said I like to watch porn during sex (nope never said that, as I'm emphatically against doing so except in very defined circumstances) and he put it on (mind you, it was on his PHONE at chest height on him while my face is precisely where you would assume for a blow job) to try to turn me on -- ah yes, I want to watch porn of the kink I told you I don't share.

Then I find out he leans conservative, which was the biggest shock since I'd brought up politics multiple times before and he'd always said he didn't really have a stance. (This was followed by lamenting overcorrection of racial inequality bc he has convinced himself he was rejected by a couple of his higher choice law schools because he's a white man, which is categorically untrue.)

I was telling some story that involved my trans son, and that was when I remembered my "don't go out without Uber money in the bank" rule and why I had made it.

He tried to draw a parallel between trans men coming out as trans and him declaring that he was "really black inside and putting on blackface."

Yes, he actually said that, verbatim.

No, I can't imagine how you could ever be drunk or high enough to think that was an acceptable thing to utter out loud -- to me, in a conversation about my trans poc son after I'd already gone a round with him about racism -- without dying of alcohol poisoning/overdose.

This was accompanied by general unpleasantness, including trying to seem generous bc he let me put peppers on half the pizza and putting on Joe Dirt, and leaving it on when I said it was obnoxious.

I spent half the time texting with M and flirting/joking about him scaring the guy off for me and ignoring him until he ordered me my Uber home, because once you've hit both the heavy drug use on a first date and saying deeply offensive shit directly pertaining to my child, I no longer need worry about my manners, simply not killing you is enough.

So yeah, this is why I stopped telling very many dare stories, because I stopped dating because this is the pool of men

[upper-moon-4askblog]

What do you think of this picture? And the mha fandom :>

Sekido squints in disgust when he sees the picture. — "This picture angers me…the creature's appearance is vile and unpleasant. The hair is short, and the body is frail and lanky, the face repulsive and ugly. These colors disgust me and make me irritated. Is it a creature of the human world? I am glad I do not have to see such a disgusting being all of the time." He grimaced as you mentioned the term.— "Ugh…I am quite well versed about the so-called…fans of the franchise. The human world is full of fans who have extreme views, and this fandom is no exception…it is rather annoying. The toxicity and drama are quite amusing, even if it is a pathetic sight…it seems to affect every franchise in one way or another, and I find it quite amusing to watch these fans argue with each other. As long as it is merely in the human world, it does not concern me."

Urogi laughs as he looks at the picture. — "That's hilarious! I've always been a fan of cosplay and the people who participate in it! I love seeing people have fun dressing up as characters they love! I myself have cosplayed a few times. Once as one of the Hashira from Demon Slayer. But that photo just made my day, haha! I love it! " Urogi pauses and seems to contemplate your question for a moment. — "Hmmm… Well, every fandom has their toxic aspects, so I suppose there are bound to be the same type of people within the My Hero Academia community." He tilts his head once more. The smile on his face still present, but with a hint of sadness in his tone. — "It is a shame that some of the fans of the community are so… toxic… It gives it a bad name and sours the experiences of those who just want to enjoy it."

Karaku seems to be laughing his ass off. He slaps his knee, causing the nearby ground to shake slightly. — “Hahaha~! What an ugly image!” He says, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he smiles playfully at you. — “But hey, it’s so ridiculously stupid that it’s funny~!” He says while he strikes a pose, still laughing. — “What a ridiculous look~!” He groans. — “Oh, don’t even get me started on them~” He says while rolling his eyes and sighing deeply. — “They are literally the worst! Constantly whining and complaining about every little detail in the anime! And some of their ships are quite… ridiculous!” He says in a sarcastic tone, still laughing a bit.

Aizetsu looks at the picture you showed him on your phone. — "Huh.. well, that's a funny picture! I think the costume design is really cool..! Although, I have no idea what Deku is from though.. what's 'My Hero Academia'?" He answers you calmly while looking at the picture you showed him with a blank face.

[leslieseveride]

Greetings, new bestie,

I hope this ask finds you well and considering the implications of one Ms. Nyla Harper being given the unpleasant task of information Mr. Tim Bradford of the pregnancy of his severely injured paramour, Ms. Lucy Chen. I have pondered upon this scenario throughout our correspondence and am struggling to determine how one like Mr. Bradford would respond to this information as he is both logical, knowledgeable about how frustrating interference by loved ones can be to first responders, but also deeply committed to his romantic partner. This brings up the question of if Mr. Bradford would simply find a spot to sit in the hospital and experience shock or something more passionate. As I have been writing, it is beginning to occur to me that one could reasonably assume Mr. Bradford would go and threaten the perpetrator of this heinous act against Ms. Chen with acts of severe bodily violence as he has done previously when she was kidnapped by the absolutely dastardly Mr. Caleb Wright. While threats and intimidation may provide an outlet for Mr. Bradford briefly, eventually his colleagues, as of good morale character, would need to interfere so as to stop any untoward behavior Mr. Bradford might engage in and later regret. This would likely lead to him resigning himself to sitting alone or comforting Ms. Chen’s ward, Ms. Tamara. Or perhaps Ms. Angela Lopez would be willing to distract one of her dearest friends and invite him into her home or to partake in some alcoholic beverages. Now, my dear friend, what are you opinions on this quandary.

I await your response with eagerness.

Sincerely,

- Ms. “I Guess We’re Friends Now” Anon

Postscript: Dang it I just realized they all have titles and shouldn’t have be Ms. and Mr. Not changing it

stop i love the way this was written, like pride and prejudice!

tim would be going on one hell of an emotional roller coaster ride through all this. personally, i've always had this vision of grey yelling and fighting him off from trying to follow lucy back into surgery like, "hey, hey, hey! stop! you can't go see her right now!" until he crumbles and they're just two men hugging each other in the hallway. i honestly wanna see more of a father/son dynamic between tim and grey. especially after watching that scene of tim giving up his current sergeant position for her 5x12. and in that moment i don't think anything else would matter to him other than lucy. i know he's quick to anger and he'd be fuming at whoever did this to her, but i think it'd be eclipsed by overwhelming grief and worry for her and the new life growing inside her. he'd definitely share a few very harsh words with the monster who hurt her though in interrogation. OH MY GOSH!!! TAMARA!! she'd be so devastated if anything ever happened to lucy. :( ahh, and a domestic angela and tim heart to heart at the wopez household would kill me!! he'd watch his bestie be a mom to jack and fawn over him with such a sad smile. all he's ever wanted was to have a family of his own and be a dad. :((((

[penguicorns-are-cool]

As someone with a super bigoted Dad who I've been attempting to change the mindset of for over four years now

If they don't want to they're not going to

There have been so many times that I thought my Dad might be getting better because I finally explained one concept or another in a way that he understood and was like "I'll have to think about that," but overall he's only gotten more and more bigoted because I am only one influence in his life and he has decided that the other influences make more sense to him

For him to stop being bigoted he would have to choose to analyze his opinions and decide that they are decidedly shitty opinions to have then come to terms with the fact that all of his major influences that share such opinions (what news he watches, his social media experiences, the radio he listens to, his friends and some family) are extremely bigoted and swaying him towards thinking things like "maybe we should let such and such group of people all die" are decidedly bad influences that, quite often, don't actually know what they're talking about, then he would have to cut those influences out of his life and start all over finding new ones while making amends with the people he has hurt with his rants and outbursts defending his opinions and who find him an unpleasant person to be around because of it, and only then would he really be on the path towards not being a bigot

that is a deeply personal thing to do and I cannot do any of it for him

all I can do is explain why he is wrong out loud when he says bigoted things around others in hopes that they won't be influenced to be like him and hope that, one day, he might suddenly have some realizations and begin his own path of self-analysis and betterment and he might then come to me to help him with that or at least remember the things I have said and let that influence him.

but until he makes that choice for himself there is nothing I can do to change him and that's the unfortunate truth about dealing with bigots

you can't change your family members when they don't want to be changed, you can't stop them. what you can do is try to make sure your family members who aren't bigoted (or children who haven't quite formed their own opinions yet even if they repeat the bigoted stuff) hear you refuting the bigoted opinions in hope that they don't become bigots themselves

and you never know, one day, one of the bigoted family members might have some realizations and choose to do some self-improvement, but it'll have to be their choice

I know you’re not really the person to go to with this but I see you giving advice a lot so I thought you might have something helpful idk. How do you deal with the adults in your life being bigots? My grandpa talking about the border, my dad hating all fat women, both my parents being lowkey racist, almost everyone I know being transphobic, etc. How do I phrase something in a way that makes them stop?

Probably, mostly, you don't. I remember an elderly relative by marriage confiding in me that America had gone into the Second World War on the wrong side. (Not really something that's going to make an English Jew warm to you.) I wondered if there was anything I could say to him that would change who he was and what he thought, and decided there wasn't.

I heard after that that he'd noticed Neil didn't really ever talk to him any longer.

There may be individual private conversations you can have with people, along the lines of "when you say X it upsets me, and it means my friends all think you're super-creepy, so can you not do it when we're around?" But that may be the best you can immediately hope for.

[breathing-in-the-world]

How To Blow Up A Pipeline

Christening this reflections blog with a youtube video, since that's part of the goal here: I want to write reflections about nearly everything I read or watch or listen to, regardless of how long those reflections are, or how important. I want this to function as a place I can return to those reflections, to adjust them, but also to force myself to slow down and actually think on everything I've just read or watched. A challenge to the attention economy which demands constant input. I want to have to take the time to slow down and remember things. Part of this is also making sure I'm engaging with things directly instead of purely taking in third-degree commentary on them.

To that point, what we've got today is "How To Blow Up A Pipeline | So Much For Pathos" by youtuber Videokind, which is a commentary on the 2022 film How To Blow Up A Pipeline, an action film about the 2021 book of the same name by Andreas Malm, which is itself a treatise on direct action. In looking this up, I am realizing I'd actually thought the book had been written much earlier. I'd been under the impression that How To Blow Up A Pipeline had been floating around as an unpublished but still influential text that was eventually picked up by Verso, but that is not the case.

I haven't seen the film. I want to see the film. It was showing here for approximately one week when it first came out and I wasn't able to then, and it dropped off my radar afterwards. I still do very badly want to see this film and will do so hopefully somewhat soon.

The question both the book and the film ask is, at what point do you say it's enough? Not rhetorically—what is the point at which you come to the conclusion that peaceful protest is not working? What will it take for people to be involved in direct action? Destructive action? What does it mean to accept those consequences? What does terrorism and sabotage mean?

These aren't questions that I am unfamiliar with, but it's always pleasant and refreshing to be reminded of them, even though that itself is a deeply unpleasant experience often. These questions are uncomfortable because they are reminders of our failure as moderates. This is not to say moderates in belief, but that at this moment in time I am quite aware of the fact that I am a moderate in action rather than a radical. I have not yet come to that point, and that is a shame to me.

I am hearing these questions in light of Levinas right now: at what point do we stop turning away from the face, the cry, of the other? In "The Name of the Dog", Levinas is asked about whether animals have Faces in the same way that people do; he says yes, but points out that it enters muddy territory, that a dog could largely be agreed to have a face, for example, but will people recognize a snake as having a face? It's been widely acknowledged that Levinas' ethics are profoundly anthropocentric; what would it look like to change that?

But what would it take to change that?

Levinas himself was a zionist. I don't say that as a pejorative. He was a holocaust survivor who was seeking hope in ethics, a program to end violence, and he vested those hopes in the creation of a new state, one that he believed would be built on these ethical principles. He was wrong, and I know that this sympathy is perhaps misplaced, but in many ways I cannot be mad at him for this optimism. It is naive, yes, and naivete is itself a profoundly political concept, particularly when it is wilful. How can we take seriously a man whose entire ethical foundation was based on decentering the self, to question who was being displaced as secondary to the self, when he then turned around and wholeheartedly, for many decades, endorsed a political project literally founded on the displacement of an entire population? How can we believe this?

But moreover, Levinas' ethics are extremely uncomfortable, because as much as they are an ethics of hope, it is also an ethics of failure. That's also not a pejorative. It is an ethics that is, at risk of using Heideggerean language, disclosed to itself (though it was not fully disclosed to Levinas' self, it seems) in its limitations and shortcomings. It is full of reminders of all of the times we turned away from the face of the other, the cry of the other. It is an ethics that is wrapped up in the priority we place on our own existence. It is an ethics that can never be fulfilled, literally, infinitely demanding. You will never be able to achieve the goals of this system of ethics, no matter how hard you try, not because you have failed but because you never can succeed; to succeed would be to remove oneself from the world! You cannot fulfill your always-already existing debts to the other, nor can they ever be paid in full to you.

Hospitality is good as a tool for this, then. Your job as host is never done, only left unattended; sometimes you are the guest and the other is host; sometimes you are called upon unexpectedly. Your owing to the other is akin to hospitality, to welcoming the other into my own being unconditionally when called upon. But nonetheless you are living with the expectation that your home is constantly able to be requested by another person at any time, someone you may not know well or at all, and that is ok! that's what it means to host, to welcome, to owe, to live with!

But that's a lot of work.

How To Blow Up A Pipeline strikes me as extending these questions to a posthuman politics. I am following in Critchley's uptake of Levinas' ethics as leading to a politics of anarchism. (You can argue about how he frames anarchism vs socialism but that's something I am not equipped for at the moment. Note to return to later.) If the question asked by Levinas is "What does it take for us to stop turning away from the face of the other for whom we are responsible?" and the question asked by Critchley is "what does it look like to build a politics of practice out of these ethics?" and the question asked by Butler is "can we establish a politics of nonviolence from this and recuperate these ethics from colonialism, or use these ethics against Israeli settler-colonialism?" then the question asked by How to Blow Up A Pipeline is "what will it take to stop turning away from the face of the earth, and what does it mean to do so?"

I don't know if Andreas Malm actually engages with Levinas. I haven't read the book, and I need to. This video essay has done a lovely job of tying together the ways in which political violence and terrorism are treated both in media and as a commitment of politics, including as a duty or responsibility or obligation. Videokind also brought up quite explicitly the connection between antiracist and anticolonial struggles, or liberatory struggles in general, and environmental battles; this has prompted me to wonder more about what a posthuman Levinasian ethics may look like in greater detail, including how it compares to a lot of Indigenous thought on ethics of environment/society/resistance/responsibility.

Good video essay, would recommend.

[utilitycaster]

This is specifically in response to multiple posts I've seen in the main tag this morning saying, essentially, "Orym needs to stop whining about his dead husband to everyone, because they won't care," which is a frankly horrifying way to think about like, empathy and people.

I do not think Ashton and Laudna's beliefs are incorrect. I in fact agree that they feel similarly to Orym about this whole situation, and when I said "one of the few people" they are among the others. I didn't bring them up specifically because this post is about Orym, and not about them. When I'm saying he has the moral high ground, I mean in his interactions in Hearthdell specifically with Abbadina and some of the guest characters. I also want to be clear that this is a story, and I'm interested in seeing characters who are morally gray and even evil. I am simply saying "Orym is entirely valid for his assessment of Ludinus based on his personal experiences, and demanding objectivity of him specifically in a moral judgement is utterly incoherent as a stance, and moreover permitting everyone else to be motivated by past trauma but not him is hypocritical and awful."

It is weird for you to jump to this many conclusions, and to derail this to bring up every single other member of Bells Hells, many of whom aren't even here. I'm also really not a fan of you dismissing Sam's work of FCG as nothing more than "whatever's funny" when I think he's been doing a very thoughtful job (and, frankly, has done so as Veth, Tary, and Scanlan in the past; it would be a bad actor indeed who couldn't manage both humor and poignancy). I have my criticisms of Sam, but the attitude towards him and FCG from some quarters has recently gotten, as I've said before, deeply uncomfortable, unpleasant, and insidious. I'd appreciate if you could at minimum keep it off my posts.

I think what a lot of people are not understanding about Orym is that while he does have a (honestly pretty tenuous/ flavor-only) connection to a deity, his argument has always been "Ludinus and the Ruby Vanguard will slaughter innocents as proof-of-concept testing, and anything they say or support needs to be seriously considered on its own merits and has a massive black mark against it going in."

I don't think Orym has a moral high ground because he champions the gods; I think he has a moral high ground because he's one of the few people thinking beyond "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" and weighing the actual consequences, and who understands the distinctions between actions of the gods vs. actions of their followers.

[jafndaegur]

Of Jade and Claw

Zhongitto Week | Day 2 | Confession

Genshin Impact

Rating: T

Day 1: Visions | x

Part two of me coming out of retirement to write about the rock god and his rock husband.

"My luck must've been running mighty high today," Itto said after a spoonful of soup. "You're an amazing cook! I haven't had a nice homemade meal since I left Inazuma!"

Zhongli watched as his guest ate with no short amount of gusto. There was a faint pang in his chest as the image of an older dragon eager devoured a carefully crafted feast, something genuine the two of them had cooked in the little free time they had. Waving the memory away, the adeptus reminded himself that a bit of bamboo shoot soup was nothing compared to the grand meals he created in an era gone by. At least his eccentric guest seemed pleased.

"How long have you been away from your home?" Zhongli asked, taking a sip from his tea.

Itto made an unpleasant face before sighing and shrugging. "Too long, I'd say. But y'know, gotta support my boys as best as I can. Like I mentioned earlier, my traveler buddy told me Liyue Harbor is always lookin' crew either for the local sailors or the miners."

"Are you adept at either?" Zhongli hadn't meant to sound so condescending, and the laugh that escaped his chest was good natured.

Regardless, Itto was unphased. In fact, he seemed pleased at the jab. "I'm a jack of all trades, my guy. Master of none but better than a master of one! If I can help clear away heavy things or mine deep into the rock—then I can easily manage."

Zhongli chuckled, for all the bravado, Itto was at least witty. And not incorrect. To follow one's passions and try everything the world had to offer…well, Zhongli learned later in his life than most that a carefree manner like that was truly the best way to experience life.

"Your traveler companion wouldn't happen to be the Traveler, would they?" Zhongli had an itch that he was correct. "Blond hair, gold eyes?"

"You know them too?" Itto stood up from his seat like an excited child.

"I've been acquainted with them for so time," Zhongli smiled fondly. "Perhaps our meeting is no small coincidence."

"Coincidence! Zhongli, you and me buddy, we're staring at a bona-fide act of destiny!"

"So you think?"

"I SO know!" Itto waved his arms emphatically. "You're telling me that out of everyone in the big nation of Liyue, I just waltz upon one of the Traveler's trusted friends?"

"Ah what if I told you I were their enemy?" Zhongli laughed. "I merely stated we were well-acquainted, not friendly."

Itto waved him off almost immediately. "Nah. I'm too good a judge of character to buy crap like that. Look at you! Prim, proper, super polite, and pretty. I doubt you've done a single evil thing your entire life."

At that, Zhongli winced. Between the thousands of gods torn asunder by his claws and spears, to the beloved friend he sealed beneath the earth, to finally the Gnosis that had been bartered away with the Harbingers…he feared Itto's reaction to his assumption being wrong. His hands gripped his cup, the clay straining beneath his grip.

"Hey…it…was a compliment you know," Itto stammered out, his ruby glance lighting up with some sort of recognition.

Zhongli stared at the reflection in his tea. "I fear you may be too trusting, Itto." He regretted nothing and had made peace with the decisions long before now. Yet the weight of these sins forced his shoulders to slump a bit and his lips to downturn into a thinly pressed frown.

Sighing deeply, Itto sat back down with his hands on his knees. "Look. Back when the Vision Hunt decree was goin' strong, and the Shogun was hunting us down, there were a lot of people who met the bad end of my sword."

A startled sensation flashed through Zhongli’s chest and he looked up at the oni.

"Yeah, I know. Can you believe that a pretty stand-up guy like me with a grim confession like this? I barely can!" Itto shook his head as if he couldn't believe it. "At that time though, being a Vision holder and an oni on top of it? Bah! Let's just say, there were a lot of people who didn't care if they turned in my Vision with its owner or just the head. So I did what I had to."

He paused, hesitancy fleetingly passing over his face as he looked over for some sort of affirmation. Itto faltered, before trying again after an awkward silence.

"You get what I'm trying to say, don't you?"

Zhongli huffed to himself. It'd been such a long time since he'd last gazed into such an earnest ruby glance. "Yes, I do."

"Oh good, cause uh—I have a tendency to ramble and annoy certain types of people, don't ever know how they can get tired of such a banger oni like me but…"

"Where are you staying, Itto?" Zhongli interjected gently, trying to soothe the growing nerves he could sense from his guest.

Itto blinked in surprise, slow to recover. "Ah, I've been sleeping in the pavilions up in the mountains west of here. Free lodging like that is rare to come by."

"And you come into the city every morning?"

"Sure do! It's nowhere near half the trek I make from my gang's camp to wherever the heck I'm needed in Inazuma. I get my steps in daily, that's for sure."

Well, it's no wonder everyone thought he was an adeptus. For the second time that day, Zhongli decided to uproot his everyday life—perhaps on a whim, or perhaps on the broken wish of a god who had lost many things to look forward to.

"Would you like to stay here? While you work of course." Zhongli said. "It's just myself and the company would be welcome."

"Aw man, I don't want to impose or anything!" Itto replied with a surprising kick of hesitancy. "But if there are any heavy-weight chores you need done, I'm more than happy to cover my room and board by cleaning, or chopping firewood, or fishing. You name it. Archon forbid it's said Arataki Itto is a poor and grateless guest!"

Somehow the former Archon doubted he would have believed such slander about the oni to begin with.

"I do most of such menial tasks on my own. But an extra pair of hands would be a pleasant change." For some reason, knowing Itto would stay for the time being, warmed Zhongli’s chest.

[johnsamericano]

𝓓𝓪𝔂 7:

тєи ℓєє

23 days of NCT masterlist.

taglist: @notbeforelong @curieouscapt @whathamelon @unknown5tar @ajhdr @silent-potato

warnings: the reader is soon-to-be engaged to someone 12 years older, virginity loss, extreme lack of experience from the reader, dirty talk, Ten’s a sweetheart 😭

“He’s here!” Your mother clapped her hands excitedly, asking the butler to answer the door.

You sat with both hands squeezed on your lap. You’d never seen a male tailor, let alone be dressed by one. Would it be uncomfortable? Just as your mind was about to drift away, a man with at least four rolls of fabric entered the room.

“Good evening, my lady.” Was he even real? He looked straight out of a painting, just like the ones hanging on your wall.

“Good evening, sir.” You bowed your head gracefully, just like you'd been taught to do.

“There’s no need to be so formal.” He smiled cheekily, his eyes disappearing just the slightest and making your heart flutter with excitement. “Let us have a seat and chat a little about what kind of dress you'd like.”

Everything went so naturally with him, from sitting down and talking about the event you'd be wearing the dress to, to his hands surrounding your waist, taking your measurements.

“I was thinking of something white, my lady. After all, the goal is to get a certain gentleman to ask for your hand, isn't it?”

“How did you...?”

“Your mother is quite a chatty lady.” You sighed. She certainly had trouble keeping things a secret, the whole town probably already knew by now.

“Then I guess you already know we've known each other since we were kids, well, since I was a kid. He's twelve years older.” You sounded so excited talking about that guy that it made him smile. “Are you married, sir?”

“God, no!” He was quick to explain. “I want to devote myself to work, that's what makes me happy.”

“But imagine yourself, waiting for your beautiful bride at the church, ready to join your lives for what is left of them. Just to think about it gives me goosebumps.” To him, what you'd just said sounded like agony. Dedicating himself to another person for the rest of his life? He’d rather jump off a cliff.

“I just don't think I'm good husband material, that's all.”

As the days passed by, you got to know him better. He’d often tell you about his job, how many dresses he'd confectioned that week, how much money he'd earned, every single little detail of it. He made it sound like a dream, he spoke so passionately about it that you wondered whether you'd ever find something that would make you feel that same way.

“Good morning, my lady.” He kissed your knuckles, a devilish grin extending through his lips as he admired your flustered face. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”

He extended a big, white box with a red velvety ribbon keeping it closed.

“That was fast!” You opened it to reveal a pretty, lacy dress. It was exactly what you’d asked for, but then why did you feel so sad?

“What is it, my lady? Do you not like the dress?”

“No! I love it.” He smiled, pulling out the dress from it’s confinement to let you have a better look at it. It was, indeed, beautiful.

“Would you like to try it on?”

You soon found yourself behind a room divider, slipping the soft dress on. The texture was marvelous, like wearing a cloud. It would definitely draw Johnny’s attention, that’s for sure.

“How do I look?” You stepped out, spinning around to let his critic eyes have a look at his masterpiece. He squinted his eyes as if he wasn’t pleased. “What is it?”

“Your corset.”

“Huh?”

“Truth to be told, I knew this dress wouldn’t work with a traditional corset, so I might have made a special one for the occasion.” You walked to the full body mirror, taking a look at yourself.

“It looks fine to me.”

“You look too innocent, my lady.” You furrowed your eyebrows, eyes connecting with his through your reflections. “This dress wasn’t made to make you look innocent, but to make you look like a sophisticated, upper class woman.”

You went through your options and finally decided to listen to the expert.

“Do you happen to have that corset at the moment?”

“Yes, but the problem is, only I know the right way to adjust it. Would you be okay with me doing that?” You could feel cold sweat running down the back of your neck.

Only your mother and some servants had seen you naked, but never a man. It wasn’t supposed to happen unless the couple was married. However, you felt the urge to accept his proposition.

“A-alright.” He nodded, keeping a straight face as he started undressing you.

He slowly started undoing the ribbon that kept your corset in place. Still in front of the mirror, you could see his concentrated features, not looking at anything but your back. Your mounds were finally liberated, and for a split second, you could see the tailor’s eyes staring at them.

“Raise your arms please.” Was he really not going to do anything? This was the part when the two main characters exchanged a heated session of kisses according to the novels you'd read. But he kept the same stoic face all the time.

“Ten?” This was the very first time you'd called him by his real name, well, his nickname.

He didn't seem bothered by it, concentrated on adjusting your corset.

“Yes, my lady?”

“Am I not attractive?” His hands accidentally tightened the ribbons too much, making you wince.

“Sorry.” He apologized, loosening the piece of clothing. “But why are you asking me this?”

“Well...” You were ashamed to admit it, but your curiosity got the best of you. “Aren’t men supposed to go wild over breasts? At least that's what I heard.” Ten would've never expected such an inappropriate comment from you, though he couldn't say he didn't like that new boldness of yours.

“I guess so.”

“Then why didn't you go wild over mine?”

The room was filled with nothing but silence for a couple of seconds before he finally found an appropriate answer for your question.

“I’ll ask you something first.” you nodded. “If you knew men had a thing for breasts, then why did you let me do this?” You would've liked to say that it was because you deeply trusted him, but you both knew that deep down, it wasn't completely true.

“I don't know.”

“Did you want to seduce me or something like that?” You were about to reply, but his deep laugh interrupted you. “Well, since you answered my question, I shall answer yours.” he finally finished adjusting your corset, placing his hands above the curves of your waist and leaning down to whisper something. “You have the most beautiful breasts I've ever seen. They look round and soft, the perfect size to hold them with my hand. But I can't allow myself to go wild over you, not when you're about to get engaged to someone else.” So the things wrote in novels weren't entirely fantasy, things like that did happen in real life. “Trust me, I wish nothing but to pinch those pretty, perky nipples and have you begging for more. But we can't.”

“Yes, we can.” With a newly found courage, you guided his hands up until they reached your mounds. They did, in fact, fit perfectly between his hands.

“My lady-”

“Y/n.” You held his hands against your warm body. “Please, my name is y/n.”

“Stop playing with fire.” His voice had become lower, hands shaking the slightest under yours.

“I want you to play with me, Ten. Use me, do whatever you want with my body. Alleviate the ache I'm feeling between my legs.” That was his breaking point.

His expert fingers quickly undid the knots, allowing his hungry eyes to have a look at your naked torso.

“Touch me.” he turned you around, so you were directly facing him.

“So greedy.” His hands covered your chest once again, this time with no fabric in between. His palms felt so warm against your skin, you couldn’t help but sight. “Tell me, how does your little cunt feel?”

“I-I’m sorry?” His right hand went down, rubbing circles over your undergarments. Immediate relief washed over your body.

“Do you know what an orgasm is?” You shook your head, gasping as his fingers pinched your hard nub. “It’s the only way to relief the ache you feel here.” He tapped your entrance with his middle finger, feeling your wetness under his digits.

“How can I have one?”

“You’ll have to trust me, alright?” His dominant demeanor had changed to a softer one, kissing your jawline as hands sneaked inside the fabric, a new, pleasant feeling making your legs shake. “How does this feel?”

“Nice.” He retrieved his hand, you whined at the loss of contact. “Hey!”

“Jump.” He instructed, lifting you up with both of his hands below your thighs. He guided you all the way to the nearest wall, your back pressed against the concrete surface. “Sorry for this.” He muttered before ripping your undergarments apart.

Skillfully, he lowered his pants, his hard member springing up. The moment his tip started slipping into your whole, an immense amount of pain made you scream.

“Stop!” Ten frowned, pulling away but still holding you against the wall.

“Have you changed your mind about this?” There was a hint of pain peeking through his voice.

“It hurts a lot.” As if to back up your words, a small tear rolled down your cheek.

“I know, sweetheart. But that's the way it's supposed to be.” If it hurt so much, then why did people do it so often? “You just need to get used to it and it'll start feeling better, I promise.”

“Really?” For you, it didn't make any sense.

“We can stop whenever you want, just give it a try.” You hesitantly nodded, letting him align with your entrance once again. “Deep breaths, darling.”

It was the worst pain you'd ever felt, even worse than that time when you fell off a horse. But just like the tailor had said, that unpleasant feeling was soon replaced with something else...something that made your tummy feel warm.

“You're doing so well.” He praised as if he wasn't the one doing all the hard work while you held onto his shoulders. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I need to pee.” You gasped, letting your head rest against the wall.

“Don't hold it back, darling. It means you're close.” His large hands caressed your sides, holding you tightly.

“Ten...” You whimpered, biting his clothed shoulder to stop yourself from screaming in pleasure. Something inside you exploded, making your body shake in ecstasy.

“Y/n.” You both whispered your names, pleasure taking over your minds.

“May I kiss you?” There was no response from him, his length still pulsating inside you. “If you don't want to that's-”

“Kiss me.” Your lips came closer to each other, barely millimeters away when a loud knock abruptly interrupted the moment.

“Miss y/n, Mr. Seo is here to see you.” Johnny, you'd completely forgotten about him.

“I guess you better get dressed.” He pecked your cheek, setting a fire inside you.

“I'm sorry.” He helped you put on your dress again, smiling at the sight of you trying to stop your and his essence from dripping down your bare thighs.

“Don't be.” Ten fixed your hair, proceeding to gather his stuff before sending a wink in your direction. “I guess I'll see you in a week to help you get dressed...my lady.”