#it's been TEN FUCKING YEARS
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it is almost five am, i need to move everything in my apartment in two hours as soon as my mom gets here, i have not slept tonight, and all i can think of is daniel howell dedicating oath by cher lloyd to phillip lester fucking live on the radio
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I just wanna say bc I KNOW you're somewhere on tumblr, to the teenage girl who attended Take Your Kid To Work Day at an office building in Ontario, Canada circa 2013 and had a conversation with a middle aged woman in which you showed her your Black Veil Brides fanart and fanfics and ship content and told her about different fanfic tropes including a/b/o verse bc she happened to know who Panic! at The Disco and Fallout Boy were and thus you felt the need to show her your bandblr ship art, that was my fucking mother and I had to clarify all that to her including looking my mother in the eye and trying to explain a/b/o verse without sounding like a lunatic.
It's been 10 years and I still regularly sent evil energies in your direction. Since you'd be probably two years younger than me and thus legally an adult now, please know if this post reaches you it's on sight.
#she cornered me in the car and asked what shipping was and i almost had a fucking heart attack#imagine being like 16 years old and habing to explain knotting to your mother#random emo music girl I'm glad you had fun talking about your Band Guys to my mother#bc i also attended take your kid to work day at that office and i know how boring it was#but christ alive why did you have to fuck me like that?#anyways i hope this post reaches you so at the very least you know i think about you at least once a week#this has been weighing on me for ten years#im almost tempted to blaze this post
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i miss them......please come back........please come home :((
#this one goes out to the ten knkdz stans left on bsd tumblr wya#ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE DRAWN THEM I MISS THEM SO BAD :(((#please......i dont knkw how much longer i can take this.......please come home to me......#i'm literally experiencing withdrawal symptoms they've been apart for like SEVEN years#ALSO I KEEP FORGETTING KUNIS GLASSES IM FUCKING KILLING MYSELF ISTG IT DOESNT REGISTER IN MY BRAIN FSR😭😭😭😭😭😭#also one thing i noticed while coloring this is how nicely their outfits compliment each other. husbands fr <3#sry if the art style is different in every drawing i drew these all weeks apart💀#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikidazai#knkdz#lotus draws
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The thing is, it's not about the Therapy Speak. It's not that everyone who disliked DAV hates healthy communication as a dynamic in fiction. It's not even about only being allowed to be a good guy, really, because most of us did do that anyways (though the option not being there is a loss I grieve even if I never chose it myself, but that's another rant for another day).
It's that DAV does all that stuff at the expense of being believable. At the expense of characters being permitted to have personalities. At the expense of emotions behaving the way emotions actually work for people. At the expense of letting the plot build tension through the stakes we're forced to grapple with.
Half the fics out there take the conflicts between the characters in the previous games and resolve them. I do it myself ALL THE TIME because I like to find a path to resolution through just about any conflict, that's what fascinates me about telling these stories. But the higher the stakes, the harder a conflict is to resolve. You CAN resolve any conflict, you CAN communicate healthily through any emotion, but you can't skip the time it takes to process it all to even be able to communicate it. As someone whose got CPTSD and recovered from many Traumas, I can tell you that the TIME it takes to work through it is not something you can fast track, and the ups and downs of your emotions on that journey can't be skipped. It doesn't matter if you know exactly how to do it, exactly how it's going to feel, or exactly what the end state will be, you CAN'T speedrun it.
DAV has stakes that are astronomical, but nobody treats them that way. Nobody experiences denial - a common psychological reaction to being presented with information that shatters your worldview. Nobody expresses any distrust in the establishments handing out this information - something common among cultures that have at times been at war, even if those wars are "resolved" in the present. Nobody really ever breaks down - something that any person is capable of under extreme circumstances, especially when facing multiple crises of faith that challenge everything they thought they knew about themselves. Nobody blows their lid because they've been repressing the hell out of everything. Nobody grieves for southern Thedas, the entire thing dying off screen and giving you, the player, NO way to engage with it in any way.
Not to mention there are barely any inter-party conflicts, when there should be a lot more. Why is everyone (except Spite) fine with it if Emmrich sacrifices Manfred to become a lich? Why is everyone fine with Illario potentially being set free if he was working with the venatori and Elgar'nan, two sources that have actively attacked everyone in the party? Why doesn't Neve resent Lucanis if Treviso is picked? Why doesn't Harding get pissed off at Nevarra for having a secret society of liches that never helped during the Inquisition's war against the breach and corypheus? Why doesn't Harding feel ANYTHING about Ferelden and the rest of the south? Shouldn't Harding resent the fact that she's stuck in the north while her home dies?
All of these conflicts ARE resolvable, but not easily. And it's not believable that they're never brought up. It's not believable that these characters skip through everything that happens with like, barely a frowny face most of the time. In DAO, Alistair leaves if you don't treat his conflicts with respect. In DA2, your party members try to kill each other if you don't pay attention to their conflicts/emotional needs. In DAI, people can leave or betray you, Cassandra throws a chair at Varric and tries to body him out a window. ALL of these can be resolved but it takes effort, and the characters get to SHOW that they're bothered by them and struggling the way a person would when faced with those emotions.
The problem isn't the therapy speak, or that everyone is loyal and won't leave, or that they aren't mean to each other enough. It's that it's toxic positivity. It's toxic as fuck to imply that anger or grief should be smiled over or else you're giving up, and it's damaging to people to avoid engaging with their own negative emotional responses to extremely negative stimuli. It's pasting optimism over very real, very weighty issues, sweeping it all under the rug, and you keep waiting for the lid to blow off the pressure cooker that creates, but it never does. It never becomes anything that emulates real emotions, which is why the whole damn thing feels hollow. Everything's dying and nobody cares, not even about themselves, and that's NOT healthy communication.
It's bullshit, half-assed storytelling that didn't tell us the actual story, just the vague idea of what it could have been.
#zombolouge writes#dragon age#dragon age spoilers#DAV#DAV Spoilers#DAV critical#veilguard critical#been rolling this one around in my head for a while because I know it wasn't “healthy communication” that was pissing me off#I write healthy communication all the goddamn time and people seem to enjoy it#but I also treat the trauma and the problems with fucking respect#ignoring your negative emotions is a form of self-destruction#it's just not how psychology works#and this is indeed not even addressing all the lore conflicts that they want us to think got fixed in the last ten years off screen#or the erasure of the complicated parts of some of the factions *cough the Crows cough*#but like JUST as a baseline JUST the emotional handling of the narrative is wack as fuck
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What betrayal does to a mf
Quick concept sketches because I have many thoughts. I wanna do a proper illustration with this later methinks
#how to age ten years in two weeks#step one: lose your entire safety network#step two: be dumped with fuck all to your name in the middle of a hostile slum-city#step three: alcoholic#profit#the entire time while drawing this i was muttering 'why the long face?'#lucky he's fictional he'd kill me#been thinking about what the scar might've looked like after it healed-kinda but before he shimmer'd it up#silco#silco art#silco arcane#arcane silco#young silco
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you can ensure your local punk has adequate enrichment by signing them up to rig a mediocre community theater production every so often
#cr spoilers#critical role#ashton greymoore#this came to me in a vision and I fucking laughed#it's the adrenaline rush of hanging out on a catwalk that hasn't been inspected in ten years and probably getting electrocuted once or twic#(disclaimer pls make sure your community theaters have adequate and up to date safety inspections. this is a joke.)
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kacchan you are the last person on earth who should be calling him out for remembering things and being sentimental mr “I will always regret not taking your hand when I was four” and “I’ve carried around this all might card I got with izuku around for over a decade”
#bakudeku#bkdk#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#god it’s so funny like hello??? you’re so sentimental and sappy it’s like#AND WHAT YOU GOT STABBED LIKE TEN DAYS AGO OR SOMETHING LIKE BABY#it’s been OVER TEN YEARS AND YOURE STILL NOT OVER THE RIVER SCENE#he really just doesn’t want to be his weakness he wants to be his strength#FUCK
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i just have a feeling / you're better off than you think you are
(song insp.)
#maybe im just obsessed with the idea that buck has thought to himself for so long that maybe he doesnt get to be happy#and now what if he does? what happens then?#fuck i am so obsessed with these two actually#buck deserves something soft!! and tender!!#THEM#and the way tommy looks at him just kills me actually#them#bonus lyrics include: “i think there's a reason / you could even get this far”#“what if the voice in your head is ten years old? / and you've been trying to prove yourself right since middle school?”#“what then? / what then?”#anyways the buck coding KILLS ME#bucktommy#kinkley#tevan#tuck#otp: better ways to get your attention#tommy kinard#evan buckley#911 on abc#911 abc#911 spoilers#em's edits#special shoutout to the clown car my beloveds#mine
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☆ HERE(1).zip ☆
#seventeen#svt#svtedit#svtsource#svtdaily#hello long time no see its been like ten years since i last did one of these but the pics are#so fuckig good i couldnt not do it#finally some good fucking food :')#scoups#jeonghan#joshua#jun#hoshi#wonwoo#woozi#dk#mingyu#minghao#the8#seungkwan#vernon#dino#mine
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the loneliness and sadness that creeps into you in a way that only growing up queer can cause. your parents can accept you and still make you feel like an outsider. your parents can love you and still reject parts of you. that old-fashioned kind of love where they think trying to mold you, make you tough, is better for you. or that quiet status quo where you just don't talk. and where everyone is accepted, though some are more than others. generations and generations it's just been easier to let it slide. to let it be. not cause a fuss. but then we sit there with a knot in our chests all our lives wondering how it got there
#this is about#all of us strangers#ofc your experience of a piece of media is molded by your own perspective#and i have been thinking a lot about growing up queer and how it still fucking sucked#for me. ten. twenty years ago. fuck it even five years ago#it still sometimes sucks#because i was raised without any queer representation around me#i was trained to be straight and to desire straightness#and anything remotely queer was mocked and bullied and judged#i saw it done by others and done to others so much that it's hardly surprising i did everything i could to Not be that#and the fact that i had to grow up that way#and that i still wouldn't feel at ease bringing a partner to a family event#makes my heart ache so much#i am often on my own and going home doesn't bring me comfort#it's like harry describes#it's just how it went#my parents didn't mean to make it like that#my mom even thinks it's sad#but she doesn't understand how it came to be#and i don't know if i can turn it around#adam's imaginings of how his parents envelop him with love and acceptance in the end#was a dream#but a painful one#a dream where your parents suddenly say all the right things#and for him they only did so bc they're dead and he could imagine whatever he wanted#/and still/ he imagined his mom rejecting his sexuality at first#literally so disgusted she can't drink her tea#oooooofofffffff.......#i need to think some more#my posts
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i have been a tommy-is-abby’s-tommy truther from the start idc about “ooh well why wouldn’t she know anyone at the 118” or “oooh why wouldn’t she have mentioned her ex was also a firefighter” idgaf it would be so fucking funny and im manifesting that this is one of the bucktommy hurdles let us all join hands in prayer 🙏🏻
#it’s not even buck’s jealousy that jumps out#he’s upset that tommy ended things while abby’s mom was so sick#and how abby took over a year to get over him#(and a little bit that she took seemingly little time to get over buck)#and then he struggles with the ‘you were lying to her’ bc tommy was never attracted to/in love with her#and therefore we have the josh of it all bc josh explains what being in the closet is like#what being queer before the 2020s was like#bc buck was never closeted! he was stuck behind some coats for all of five minutes!#and allyship is not the same.#but josh is in his forties and has been ‘out’ since childhood#tommy was a gay man in the army during don’t ask don’t tell#like fuck i remember how hard it was ten-fifteen years ago when i came out and that in canada#with federal marriage equality and all that jazz#all this to say there are some things buck — who has never really spent time in the closet — has to work to understand#and i think it would be a really compelling first fight/transition from the honeymoon phase#do you see my vision can anyone hear me
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we know binghe and sqq still consider binghe to be a disciple of qing jing, but is that recognized by anyone else? I imagine it's pretty awkward with anyone who was around for, y'know, the entirety of books two and three, but ning yingying still tells him to call her shijie so that's gotta count for something. basically I'm asking this because I'm wondering if new disciples were brought onto the peak, whether they'd call him shixiong
#this thought is brought to you by thinking about that post that's like#'every cultivation sect needs an evil shixiong'#the other option is that new baby disciples clock that he's married to their new shizun#and theyre like ah. shiniang.#binghe immediately has to excuse himself to burst into happy tears#im just imagining some random ten year old gets accepted onto qing jing#they don't know any of the cultivation world gossip and all of that shit happened when they were single digits#and maybe theyre learning about demons or something in class and they learn about the demon emperor#and theyre like oh? who's that?#and someone's like you didnt know? it's luo binghe#and the kid is like. you mean my fucking shixiong? you mean shizun's wife??#last i saw him he was delivering handmade sweets to shizun during his lecture this morning.#i've been here six months and i've seen him cry on seven different occasions. no way he's the emperor
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Please come back to Deviantart and upload all your art!!!!!!!!!
deviantart can suck my whole entire dick and can keep sucking it until they decide to get rid of their AI bullshit
anyway reminder that y'all should join sheezyart
my username there is cozy
#deviantart#ask#doodles#ms paint#dat me#art#lukeisawesome20#looks like i managed to catch the registration window again for sheezyart dhbjsdfbh psychic powers strike again#im done with deviantart. its been nothing but bad decisions ever since wix took over#and then i saw the official staff page promoting AI grifters who were selling generated adopts and making tens of#thousands of dollars a year from them. y'all should be promoting REAL artists. and then i knew i had to leave.#frankly im not even sure i'd go back even When they get rid of the ai bullshit. and i say When because they're being successfully sued rn#its been bad over there i just can't do it anymore. its not worth my time and it shouldn't be worth yours either#any of yours#fuck deviantart
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I just saw the video of Seunghan walking past the rows and rows of funeral wreaths sent for him in front of the SM building. I hope every single person responsible for that is haunted by it for the rest of their lives and considers seeking therapy. Did they forget two SM idols committed suicide. This is so cruel and I hate that this is the state of KPOP in 2024. And over a fucking cigarette? And dating? I'll never get over this whole situation.
#riize#seunghan#i've been in kpop for more than ten years#it's always been awful#but i've never seen toxic fandom *win* this much before#this behaviour should never be rewarded#so fuck SM for this#i hate that company so much#can you imagine waking up and being like LOL GONNA SPEND MONEY TO MAKE A 21 YO GUY FEEL LIKE DYING LOLOLOLOL THIS IS HILARIOUS#seek therapy#my god
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there’s a beautiful woman out there her name is getty images
#it’s been sooo long since we’ve seen new hq photos of gerard. Ten years it feels like.#Everything’s coming up fucking milhouse
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