#makes my heart ache so much

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

the loneliness and sadness that creeps into you in a way that only growing up queer can cause. your parents can accept you and still make you feel like an outsider. your parents can love you and still reject parts of you. that old-fashioned kind of love where they think trying to mold you, make you tough, is better for you. or that quiet status quo where you just don't talk. and where everyone is accepted, though some are more than others. generations and generations it's just been easier to let it slide. to let it be. not cause a fuss. but then we sit there with a knot in our chests all our lives wondering how it got there

[spirit-of-beetlejuiceblues12]

Stan Twins headcanons No One asked for (TW: some angst)

Because I’m obsessing over Gravity Falls yet again.

Stan and Ford shared the Diablo through high school (they bought it together), but their parents bought Ford his own car for graduation after Stan was kicked out

Stanley cried when he crashed the Diablo to fake his death because it felt like losing his brother all over again

Stanley kept all the mirrors/reflective surfaces in the house covered for at least a year after the portal incident

Ford refused to keep the home movies from his and Stan’s childhood; Stanley got them from their parents at his funeral and kept them in the Shack for when he finally got Ford home

Fiddleford actually enjoyed having Bill around until he started being actively creepy and take advantage of Ford

Time passes differently in different dimensions, so Ford forgot how old he was until he got back to his home dimension and found a calendar

The people of Gravity Falls genuinely love Stan like he’s their uncle; every town needs a grouchy uncle

Ford had girls literally lining up to flirt with him in college but was too busy/dumb to notice

The twins forgot to call Shermie and explain everything for nearly half a year after Ford’s return; Dipper and Mabel said nothing about it, assuming Stan and Ford had already told him

Shermie knew it was Stanley in Gravity Falls the whole time and just figured Ford was off working for the government as a top secret scientific advisor or something

While adventuring on the Stan O’ War II, Ford calls Dipper and Mabel obsessively to make sure they’re doing okay

Stan and Ford both ship Dipcifica, but for different reasons (“Marry rich, kid, I like it!” “They make each other better, Stanley!”)

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

everything you’ve come to expect, santa cruz 18/04/16 ♡

[theghostofashton]

i feel like some have already talked about this but i really love the subtle ways the episode showed how carlos isn't doing well. like, on paper, everything looks great. he solved the case he was working on, he's making time for lunch dates with his husband, things are falling into place.

and then we see that he's working late a lot. it's become a pattern of him forgetting about dinner and just managing from a vending machine. he's looking at that picture of his dad every time he opens the file for his case. he's still hurting so much, and carrying such a heavy weight on his shoulders, and so much of that is conveyed in just these little details and rafa's expressions, it's so good

[thisonelikesaliens]

a couple more notes and i'll shut up

i really really really hate this translation

你怎麼那麼傻

there really is no perfect word for 傻 (sha) in english. closest is foolish/silly, but what doesn't get translated is the affection you feel for someone you're calling 傻. so maybe "why are you so foolish (affectionate)"

但是我真的太害怕再失去了

but I'm just too scared of losing again

(idk that "again" felt pretty important to just drop completely like that)

[mourn-and-watch]

no but essek's abnormal behaviours in the last arc and especially in episode 140 are my roman empire. which is ironic because aeor is something of a roman empire itself. but in all seriousness, it was the episode that made me realise i love essek and his development so much and it kinda summarised it even before caleb's epilogue.

and i mean the "it's not fair" scene specifically. it's like, an epitome of his whole character progression from a person who put An Objectively Important Goal above all else without hesitation to someone who can't help but care for people around even more than his goal, no matter how big and relevant it is.

the mighty nein - and he alongside them - pretty much saved the world and freed an ancient city from thousand-year-long suffering. they defeated nine extremely powerful menacing entities who managed to stay out of everyone's sight for years and were so close to achieving their goal and dooming exandria in the process. they did the impossible and became heroes and somehow, they survived, even though they had bidden farewells a couple of hours ago because they had already understood what they had been facing. and nevertheless. they made it.

and none of them was celebrating.

mighty nein are basically essek's only friends. he knew them to be very unusual people, to put it lightly, loud and stubborn and completely inescapable once they consider you to be one of their own. and they showed him so much kindness and put so much faith in him, they were here playing the most atrocious music ever and digging clay in his backyard for a spell they invented just to help one of theirs and asking him if he could bring them pastries the day after they found out he was lying to them and had started a war. they were chaotic and weird and sometimes unbearable but most importantly they were carrying so much hope with them all this time - a hope they could end the war, a hope they could stop the angel of irons cult, a hope they could get better, a hope he could get better, and now, finally, that they could save their lost friend.

and that hope shattered, just like that, the moments after they'd already made the impossible. they saved so many souls - and then could not get back just that one.

for essek "my intentions were never good they were important" thelyss it just. shouldn't have mattered. they won. it could have been worse. people die and when they die they rarely come back. they should've been happy everyone else barely made it alive.

but for some reason, mighty nein being so defeated after they saved the world exposed him to that overwhelming feeling of injustice and unfairness. and i mean, there were many things essek considered to be unfair, but when i watched his first appearance and his interactions with mighty nein later on til their reunion in aeor arc, i wouldn't dare to guess that one of the things on that list would be something that personal. and personal not even to him.

the thing is, essek didn't even know who that guy was. why mighty nein cared about him so much. he had an idea, i guess, that he was their friend once, or someone in that body was. it was also a person who wanted to unleash a terrifying horrific aberration onto the material plane. it was a person very dedicated to killing essek and his friends - and they still didn't take any pleasure in fighting him. essek didn't feel strongly about lucien or molly, because he never knew them.

i don't think he mourned his death and failed resurrection. he mourned mighty nein's hope, the one they put in him when they had no reason to, the one they offered yasha in the cathedral and the one they kept after the spell for veth failed and the one they carried til the very end because they wanted it to reach molly. they had saved people with this hope. they had saved nations. they had saved the world. but they ended up feeling like it hadn't even been worth anything.

how desperate would it feel, witnessing people who for some reason always saw good in you when they absolutely shouldn't, who made literal miracles out of nothing, who ended wars and fought gods and tricked the hags and freed cities from horrors beyond anyone's comprehension purely because they thought it was the right thing to do and also loved their friends this much, silently crying over a dead body they couldn't bring back to life? how desperate would it feel to realise that with all your knowledge about time you dedicated your life to and threw away any principles for, you can't undo this? no one can. some things are left to fate alone and this time it wasn't kind to them. no matter how much good they did, they still got slapped in the face.

and it was, i think, such a genuine moment of empathy. like, essek is the character who prefers to put up a facade and act distant and self-composed but this time he just. walked away unable to watch this. the could only say to fjord that it wasn't fair. even when he was caught off guard in nicodranas he was able to explain himself and his motives to an extent even though he was a nervous wreck whose extra important plan went to hell the second the only people he cared about appeared. this time he had nothing to elaborate on. it just wasn't fair. it wasn't fair his friends didn't get what they wanted the most. it wasn't fair he couldn't do anything to make it right.

it is such a sad and beautiful and even cathartic scene because it is about person who started a war that destroyed so many lives - and then met this ragtag group of weirdos who saw a lonely stand-offish guy and said "hey, let's be friends!" and didn't even wait for him to answer. he saw them being serious and calculated and he saw them being ridiculous and extremely stupid, he saw their mistrust to outsiders and their loyalty to each other, he made spells with them and paid a visit to their hot tub, he ate their stale pastries and drank their hot chocolate mixed with whiskey, he was welcomed amongst them and in their wonderful home, both in xhorhas before they even found out what he had done and in the tower when they already knew - and then, he saw them mourning their loss, defeated and helpless, and he, a person who believed there were things more important than whole nations, let alone just one life, couldn't help but share the pain they felt. a pure display of compassion from someone who detached himself from it, who didn't believe he could grow into a better person capable of it again, but became one nonetheless without even realising it

[dent-de-leon]

Thinking always of the fact the very first thing Caleb does after being resurrected is use the last of his strength to limp back to Molly's side and beg the others to resurrect him. Even though Lucien was the one who killed him in the first place--

Caleb saying, "Get him out of there," when Molly was still trapped in the ruins of the city. And when Caduceus gently suggests they wait until they're home to try and cast the ritual, Caleb insists, "No. Now." Because he's seen Molly suffer enough, because he can't bear the thought of making his Circus Man wait another moment longer--

Thinking of how Matt described Molly as, "Bloody, naked, still a heavy gash in the front--lifeless." Caleb seeing him like that and immediately reaching for his Transmuter's Stone, refusing to accept that he'll lose Mollymauk like this again--

[hollandmarrch]

he looks like a kicked puppy 🥺

[wrongfourtytwo]

No explanation zero none

[ailendolin]

The ghosts gave up so much when they told Alison it was okay to leave.

They haven't just lost the Coopers that day - they've lost all the little things Alison (and Mike) have brought into their afterlives. There will be no more war documentaries for the Captain, no more football for Pat, no more Friends for Thomas. No one will lay out their favourite books for them and turn the pages every morning. No one will put on their favourite music, dance with them or set up the chess board. No one will time the Captain's morning run or decorate the Christmas tree just like Fanny likes it.

I know they still have Julian to turn on the TV or music but with the house being turned into a hotel, they can no longer indulge in these things like they used to, not with guests around. And those guests will be staying in their bedrooms, robbing them of what little privacy they have or perhaps forcing them to give up their rooms altogether. Given that none of them used Heather's bedroom when she was alive, I think it's safe to assume they wouldn't constantly want to share their rooms with the livings.

They've lost so much when they let Alison go, and they must have known they would before they talked to her. But they set her free anyway because that's what you do when you love someone: you have their best interests at heart, not your own.

And I think that, more than anything, shows how much they've grown since Alison came into their lives.

[donationwayne]

one of my favorite 911 things is how pleased buck is that chim is dating his sister like it’s so damn cute

he’s just like when are u getting married *puppy eyes*

He just always has a happy lil smile in the show whenever chim is taking care of his sister

[softerhaze]

(♪)

me, an infant, not knowing that i’m a sim in a wants based gameplay (like, what is that.....lol) and that both of my parents (also sims) have wants related to having another kid

there was just a lot of simulated love in this little house okay!! i can’t get into it right now!! for emotional reasons!! *starts crying, drops the mic u didn’t know i had, storms off the stage u didn’t know i was on*

also amie doesn’t have much time left lol, i wanted to make sure i had a good pic of her with her only great-grandchild ;------;

[undead-moth]

I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?

I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.

Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.

Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

505 live at bbc studios, 2010 (x)

[sunnibits]

(guy who has been hyperfixated on izzy hands for two years voice) hey guys you may not have known this but I actually really love izzy hands