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I'm not sure if they run in the US or not or if so whether they're as good, but if you're in the UK, donate to the YMCA instead!!! (Despite the name, they don't just take men anymore!)
They're so, so good to the people they take in, and provide great, clean and safe places to stay both short term and longer term as well. (Also, in most long term places police officers cannot enter the building AT ALL without a warrant or the YMCA will sue their asses off. I'm not sure how it works with short term buildings but I imagine they have similar rules.)
Not only that but they actually work together with people to find them long term housing, arrange benefits and help them with job applications to help them afford said housing, connect them with their selected addiction and harm reduction services, and generally just care about improving their lives. And they have the building's case worker around all day most days specifically to deal with residents' concerns and help fix their issues, too. And if you have problems with that individual? There's a number to call to speak to someone else up on the notice board near the entrance.
Really the only issue I had there is that in longer term housing maintainance can enter your place without permission if you're not present at the time, which felt a little uncomfortable since I had the elevator maintainance door thing in mine, but I understand why.
Anyway, definitely donate your money to the YMCA. They put out requests for clothing donations when they need certain things, but fortunately they get a lot of their donations directly from the manufacturers or buy them in bulk instead (since there's so many locations, it works out much cheaper.) But you can donate to their charity shops to help them gather funds instead! Everything sellable goes straight to the shop floor or is sent to other shops with fewer items coming in. I've seen some really nice valuables in there that definitely wouldn't make it to the shop floor in a lot of places.
Sorry for the long rant but I am so, so passionate about them after what they did for me.
DO NOT SUPPORT SALVATION ARMY
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𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐄™
Simon "Ghost" Riley x Bimboish-female-reader
Warnings; none. Just pure foolery.
Simon loved you. He wouldn't admit it, of course, but you were his favorite subordinate. You were kind and generous, like some princess who belonged in a castle, only to have wound up working as his assistant. He wondered how you even got hired at such a tough place. Maybe you'd sprinkled fairy dust on your application.
You made him weak, merely a facade of the stone cold man he used to be. It's like you had dug a hole in his heart, making a soft spot for yourself to burrow in. You made coming to work more bearable for Simon.
He was eager more willing to get up in the morning cause he knew he'd see you not once, not twice, but a plethora of times throughout the day. He'd see your defined smile and your lively eyes and your bubbly enthusiasm. Simon was convinced it was all just a facade you put on at work. There was no way someone could be this....happy all the time.
You walk into his office, a grin on your face so firm that it pulled the skin from your throat. "You called, Mr. Riley?" "It's lieutenant, sweetheart. But, yeah, I did." He didn't seem as chipper to see you today. He never expressed true happiness anyway. He was just more neutral when you were around. Not today, though. His brows were tense, his eyes were squinted, a tight and precise stare glaring you down like a sniper. "Have a seat." He demands, waving his hand in a come hither motion.
You comply, skipping over to the chair before plopping down and spinning in it. "Don't spend in the chair, please. I'm already on HR's ass about replacing these before they give out."
"Right, of course." You kick out your foot, stopping yourself on the desk, eyes landing directly on his. He looked pretty upset about something.
"I got a complaint about you being out with my men last night. Wanna explain what's going on?" He leans forward accusingly, elbows against the desk and hands under his chin. "Well, we were just out for drinks an–" "Oh, you were out for drinksss?" He says sarcastically, slightly more irritated. "And let me guess, you went home with them too?"
"Of course I did." "Oh, christ." He facepalms, leaning back in his chair, making it creak under his weight.
"Let me explain somethin'. You are MY assistant, you got that? That means your work here is exclusive to me and what I ask you to do. You don't take orders from anyone else here. Not even the captain. Therefore, you have no need or reason to be fraternizing with my men." He lectures you, now visibly angry.
You could tell that going home with them was what pushed him other the edge. "I couldn't let them go alone. They were too drunk to drive." You defended. "Sweetheart, these are grown men. They know their limit and they purposely exceeded it. It's not your responsibility to baby them. They can face the consequences of their actions. They are dangerous individuals that you should distance yourself from. You don't know my men."
"Of course I know them, we see eachother everyday." Simon sighs at your statement. "I'd like to believe that too. but at the end of the day, men always have ulterior motives."
"Ulterior motives?" You tilt your head in confusion. He huffs, muttering under his breath. "Alright, let's say Price, for example. You're this cute girl, smaller than most of the people here. And price is this huge caption, some hairy old weirdo pushing 40. And he invites you over his house. What do you think he wants from you?" His brow arches. "Well, I don't really know John enough to know what he wants."
".....god, why...." it took everything in his will power to hold back his emotions. How could you be so dense? He breathes, steadying himself for the next question.
"Well, would you go or not?" "Yes!" "Yes!?" His voice is strained with shock and distress. "Well, how else am I gonna find out what he wants?" You fold your arms, becoming upset yourself. "Did it not even cross your mind to just ask?!"
"Well, what if he lies?" "What if he lies...." Simon repeats, chuckling under the aggravation, holding back how much you were angering him. How could you be this...slow? "And that's your concern.....tell me, sweetheart...how old are you?" "21." You respond, a small pout in your tone.
"Twenty..one... just...take the week off. I want you to come by my office later on tonight..." "for what?" You ask. "Does it matter if I tell you? What if I lie?" He laughs with exhaustion, and you follow suite. You two were gonna have a looong talk.
You can support me by liking, commenting, reblogging, and/or cashapping me @fundsbrownie. Donations are optional, but much appreciated. Have fun! And remember, take care of yourself.
#☆nova's vxmit#☆Simon “Ghost” Riley#fanfiction#cod fanfic#call of duty fanfic#call of duty#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#sfw fic#cod smut#simon riley fluff#simon riley#simon riley x you#simon riley smut#ghost smut#cod ghost smut#cod ghost#cod modern warfare#cod simon riley#cod simon ghost riley#oneshot#cod oneshot#cod ghosts#call of duty fandom#call of duty smut#call of duty simon riley#call of duty simon ghost riley#writblr#ficblr#fic post
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Round 2 - Chordata - Myxini
(Sources - 1, 2, 3, 4)
The Myxini, commonly called “hagfish”, “slime eels”, or even “snot snakes”, is the most simple class of vertebrates. They have one order, the Myxiniformes, and 3 families.
Hagfish have a cartilaginous skull but no vertebral column, though they do have rudimentary vertebrae. They also have tooth-like structures composed of keratin. Species range from 4 cm (1.6 in) to 127 cm (4 ft 2 in) long. They have elongated, worm-like bodies, and paddle-like tails. The skin is naked and loose, attached only along the center ridge of the back and at the slime glands. They have simple eyespots which only detect light, six or eight barbels around the mouth, and a single nostril. Their jaws move horizontally rather than vertically like other vertebrates, projecting two pairs of horny, comb-shaped tooth plates that grasp food and pull it into the mouth. They are marine predators and/or scavengers.
Hagfish are most well-known for their defense mechanism: releasing copious amounts of slime from specialized mucous glands in their skin. The slime reacts to seawater, expanding to 10,000 times its original size in 0.4 seconds. This slime is flexible, more durable and retentive than the slime excreted by any other animals. If a predator is not deterred by the sudden mouthful of slime, hagfish can also tie themselves into a knot to scrape more slime off of their bodies, wiggling free from their captor while its gills are clogged. Hagfish will also use this traveling knot behavior to clean themselves of any excess mucous.
Very little is known about hagfish reproduction. They are split into males and females, with females usually outnumbering males. Depending on species, females lay from 1 to 30 tough, yolky eggs. The eggs stick together with velcro-like tufts at either end. They do not have a larval stage and hatch as miniature adults.
The oldest-known stem group hagfish are known from the Late Carboniferous, with modern forms first being recorded from the mid-Cretaceous.
Propaganda under the cut:
Hagfish thread keratin, the protein that make up their slime filaments, is under investigation as an alternative to spider silk for use in applications such as body armor.
Hagfish slime threads can also be used as ultra-strong fiber for clothing.
Hagfish skin, used in a variety of clothing accessories, is usually referred to as "eel skin". It produces a particularly durable leather used for wallets and belts.
Remember this?
In 2017, a truck carrying 7,500 pounds of live hagfish got into a road accident on U.S. Highway 101. The aggravated hagfish then released enough slime to cover the road and nearby cars. Horror movie situation tbh.
But why were several tons of hagfish being shipped in a truck? Well, they were on their way to Korea for seafood purposes. Yeah. They are eaten in Korea and Japan.
Hagfish have a sluggish metabolism and can survive months between feedings; this is likely due to the scarcity of food on the seafloor. When food is present, such as a dead whale, they can go into a feeding frenzy.
Here I am listing all these ways that humans use them, but hagfish are also an important part of the deep sea ecosystem. Plus… I think they’re cute and I too wish I could produce a bunch of slime when I don’t want people to touch me. I mean, Howl in “Howl’s Moving Castle” does it and people love him, so…
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You’ve dealt with your share of Evangelical Christians on this website, and you tend to be right about things, so can you give me your thoughts on a pet hypothesis I have on Christians (particularly Evangelicals) and lack of empathy?
My theory is like this: Christians believe that anyone who accepts Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord (anyone who is a Christian) goes to Heaven, and everyone else goes to Hell. This means that good non-Christians, including people they interact with every day, will be tortured forever in the afterlife. This is distressing for most people, because they naturally empathize with non-Christian people who they have positive interactions with. Most people can extrapolate these good interactions to the billions of strangers in the world who aren’t Christians. If they have empathy for these people, they can put themselves in their shoes, and the pain of their eventual torture in the afterlife weighs on them.
This pain that is caused by empathy can be resolved in two ways: either the Christian dedicates the rest of their life to evangelism to save as many souls from the fires of Hell as possible, or they just cut off empathy to non-Christians so they can stop feeling this pain. Most Christians aren’t missionaries, so they just stop caring about other people. This doesn’t mean that they necessarily become cruel or impolite to other people, they just stop putting themselves in other people’s shoes/imagining life from another perspective, because that would be painful.
Once you’ve cut of empathy to a group of people for one reason (religious differences), it’s easier to cut off empathy for other reasons, or even to become bad at empathy through lack of practice.
Anyway, that’s just my hypothesis from being raised Evangelical. And I want to emphasize that this hypothesis is about empathy, not compassion, though they are related.
This all follows logically, and may apply to some individuals, but I don't think it can be relied upon in a diagnostic sense, if you get me?
The 'why' of what's going on in any given person's head doesn't matter to me unless that person is a close and personal part of my life, someone confiding in me because they want to better understand themselves and/or want to change and grow. I don't really feel motivated, personally, to explain the motivations and rationale of another person's bad behavior - I care about making the behavior stop and preventing it from happening again.
The only value in understanding why someone arrives at a place of diminished humanity (because that's what Evangelical Christianity does, really) is in either helping them regain it (applicable only in close personal relationships) or if it in some way guides a policy that prevents their diminished humanity from hurting others.
"You told Sally she's going to hell; we do not do that here. If you do that again, you will not be welcome here. Sally is not required to associate with you or accept an apology even if you want to give one."
is more important to me than
"You told Sally she's going to hell; why did you do that?"
The above is useful in understanding, as a person who's been hurt, why those people hurt you. It's a self-healing technique and entirely valid for that.
It's not useful for fixing the problem of evangelicals who think this way or preventing them from doing harm.
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Ooooh, Arty! I'm so excited for this series (and your FBI one, which I'm hopping into next) 😍 You know I'm obsessed with those things 😂👏
Let's jump into it! 🍿
You were sitting in a bar, hoping that when the results of the final poll came you were drunk enough that you’d cheer and scream like a madwoman to counteract the inevitable news that you’d lose the 2014 presidential elections to your only eligible opponent, Amara Shurley.
I can see why she'd need a bodyguard. Girl, you can't be sitting in a bar as a presidential candidate. Please tell me Secret Service has eyes on this "madwoman" 😂
Either way, you both had incredibly good future legislations and laws, and whoever was elected there’d be a woman as the President for the first time, which was good. Really good.
Yup 💯💯💯 Although, I don't think Shurley's up for the job... 😒
Bella, your other, redhead best friend, sighed and smacked Steph upside her blonde head, earning a gasp at the potentially ruined heatless curls (no, they weren’t ruined, she’s just being dramatic).
Bella sounds like me 😂 Are we redheads all the same?
You asked in severe mild concern, while Steph just looked either repulsed or amused.
I love when authors add (funny) information in parentheses or strike words through! It adds so much comedy and is my favorite kind of writing style 🤍
That means you got… 64% of the vote
Whoa! You can almost call that a landslide! 🥳
Suck it, Amara 😝
You were the President. The first female President. POTUS. The youngest ever elected too, at 35.
Dude, she's winning in, like... life 👀
But there's something missing... Ah yes! Who will be the First Gentleman? *coughs*
And please tell me the girls are moving with her into the White House. I'd die 😂😂
“I’m Becky Rosen, I’ll be your assistant.
Oh dear God, no... 😂 I had a feeling when she snuck up on me in this paragraph lmao
But is she okay? Why do I get the sense her eye bags don't come from being overworked? Is someone threatening her? Trying to gain access to Mme Pres. through her? I'm on alert! 👀
Well, you did say unorthodox applicants can apply if they wanted to, you just didn’t expect a dude in prison to put his file through.
That is a fair assumption 😅 Only one dude would be this crazy to apply to the freaking White House as personal bodyguard to the freaking president 🙈
A hitman with a list of bodies long enough to fill a small town cemetery
Jesus effing Christ...
I wonder what really went on there? Can't imagine Dean, even AU!Dean, to be this damn cold-blooded without a somewhat (we do forgive him a lot) sound reason
Dean had always been a man who thrived on freedom—the smell of asphalt under the Impala’s tires, the weight of a weapon he knew as intimately as his own heartbeat, the thrill of a job well done.
Chills! Literal chills! 👏
“Unorthodox candidates,” he muttered, smirking. “Guess I qualify.”
Uhm, sweetie...? You feelin' good? 😂
I love how his whole plan rides on "oh, I can get pardoned if I work for the president" 🤣 Dream big, I guess
Before my incarceration, I was highly skilled in tactical operations, surveillance, and neutralising high-level targets. My ability to assess danger and act decisively has been tested in some of the most dangerous environments.
That sounds almost like one Russell Shaw 😏 (Which makes sense, considering they're both the same person – thanks Jackles 😂)
neither were fancy words, and he used a lot of them.
You did good, boo 😘👏
Feldman stared at him like he’d grown a second head. “You realize this is insane, right? You’re in here for life. They’re not going to let you out just because you can write a heartfelt letter.”
A realist, you might say 😂
His lawyer might eat his own ass after he gets out 🤣🤣
“The fuck is this?” You gestured to the heavy shackles on Dean’s wrists and ankles
I love her! She treats him like a human being already, and not like a murderous animal 🤍
He’s not being a perv.
Mmm, I don't quite believe you, Mr. Winchester 😅
“But the equal amounts of money went to Stanford in deposits. Why?”
Ah! And suddenly, it all becomes quite clear. Of course he did all this crazy shit for Sammy. And I bet Sammy, the prosecutor, just loves the fact that his brother is a hitman in prison 😂
You’re. Hired. He could die.
Arty, if this is foreshadowing, I will kill you. Hope you have your bodyguard ready 😝
That whole reunion with Sam made me tear up for real 😭 That was so sweet and genuine!
“He’s teething,” Eden said with a weary smile. “So, you know…living the dream.”
Yes. Just been there last week again 😂
Her family also seems so sweet. She needs a good support system with this job, and it seems like she has that 🤍
Dean Winchester strode into the room with the kind of presence that made people stop and take notice. He was tall, broad-shouldered, and carried himself with a casual confidence that hinted at years of facing danger head-on. He wore a dark gray suit that was tailored just enough to highlight his powerful frame but not so tight as to make him look polished or delicate. The crisp white shirt underneath contrasted against his tanned skin, and his black tie was slightly loosened, as if he’d deliberately left it that way.
I died somewhere while reading this paragraph 🔥🥵🫠
Steph scoffed, shaking her head. “Girl, no. He’s better than that, he puts Adonis to shame— where’s he been hiding?”
I'm with Steph on this one. Ben Affleck? Ew.
And I have a feeling those walls aren't as thick as the girls believe they are 😂
“So he’s a bad boy.” Bella giggled
DECEASED 🤣🤣🤣 Bella should join the PR team!
That whole conversation has me rolling on the floor, girl 😂 There were so many gems here 🤍✨
“Hey, I’m just calling it like I see it,” Sam said with a grin. “Besides, you deserve someone who can keep up with you.”
Joking or not, I can't believe Sam's entertaining this idea and encouraging him to hit on the president (and his only ticket outta prison) 😂
Wonderful first chapter, babe! 👏👏👏 So stoked to see where this goes, to have more wild girl chats, and more romantic as well as sexual tension! 😏😍
𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐱𝐲𝐳 1
SUMMARY: You’re the first female president of the USA, having won the 2014 elections against Amara Shurley by a landslide. Now that you were a symbol of feminism, reform and a better country, it meant that there were a lot more assassination attempts bound to be on your head. For that, you needed a personal bodyguard, so you had to pick right. And you picked right in convicted ex-hitman Dean Winchester. Right?
TW: assassination attempts, ex-hitman!Dean, POTUS!reader, politics!au, politics, murder, gunfire, boss reader, angst, major sexual tension between reader and Dean but also romantic tension cause we love that, slow/quick burn, y’all will have to figure that out
A/N: In honour of our queen Kamala Harris, who didn’t win the 2024 elections, so I give you what could’ve been
NOW PLAYING: Power by Little Mix
office fever
God, the wait was killing you.
You were sitting in a bar, hoping that when the results of the final poll came you were drunk enough that you’d cheer and scream like a madwoman to counteract the inevitable news that you’d lose the 2014 presidential elections to your only eligible opponent, Amara Shurley. Either way, you both had incredibly good future legislations and laws, and whoever was elected there’d be a woman as the President for the first time, which was good. Really good.
“Come on, babes, cheer up!” Stephanie, one of your two best friends, drawled, checking her manicured nails while absent-mindedly sipping on a Long Island Iced Tea like it was merely water, but that was Steph O’Donnell for you, plain and simple. Eh, she was a bit nails-obsessed, but you loved her anyway for it, she did always look immaculate.
Bella, your other, redhead best friend, sighed and smacked Steph upside her blonde head, earning a gasp at the potentially ruined heatless curls (no, they weren’t ruined, she’s just being dramatic). “Maybe you just need to get less alcohol in your system.” She said pointedly, plucking the vodka shot out of your fingers.
“Bels, if anything, she needs more.” Steph pointed out after checking if her hair wasn’t frizzed up in a pocket mirror. “If she wins, it just means she’s capable of partying harder.”
Bella sighed and rolled her eyes, shaking her head with a small laugh, tsking internally at the notion. “She needs to remain sober for when she gets the results, and she’s going to win.” Bella turned to you with a sparkling smile and took your hand, squeezing it. “We’re here for you, girl. Sure, it’s totally possible that the Amara Shurley woman could win the election — she’s older — but if the country’s not stupid, then you’ll be the next POTUS.”
“I’m not sure whether to feel better or worse.” You playfully rolled your eyes, but let the vodka shot go and gestured to the bartender with a resigned sigh. Yeah, you could go without alcohol for tonight. “But ok. One mocktail, and surprise me with it. Cheers.” You looked to Bella with raised eyebrows, tipping your head slightly. “So, what if I lose the election?”
Bella tutted, and Steph looked up from her nails in shock— damn, that’s how you knew you were in deep shit. “Baby girl, you better get that thinking out of your head right now.” Steph gasped, pressing a hand to her chest in shock. “You are an icon for a feminist nation— a non-toxic feminist nation. If people don’t vote for you, I’m gonna kill those who didn’t, those who did can live.”
“Don’t do that.”
“I’ll do it.”
“Steph, no—”
“Yes—”
A loud squeal from Bella distracted both of you and almost made Steph spill the Cosmo that matched her nails and also made her shoot a you bitch look that she really didn’t mean, but then Bella started flapping her hands and making squealing and unintelligible, Brittany from Alvin and the Chipmunk-esque sounds that made you and Steph share a look. “You ok, Bels?” You asked in severe mild concern, while Steph just looked either repulsed or amused.
“Are you having a stroke?” Steph continued, checking for any signs of maybe a heart attack or an ice cube lodged down her throat so her speech becomes little whistles.
“Do you smell toast?” You waved a hand in front of your nose, but then her phone was shoved in front of your face so the screen and everything went blurry, not to mention the sting of the light on your eyes— shit, that burned until your retinas. Grabbing the phone from her, you held it at a distance and squinted (“grandma”, said Steph) but then saw the headline.
2014 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS, FINAL POLL RESULTS
Then you scrolled down, with bated breath and clutching Bella’s hand like you wanted to rip it off, and you took a shaky look at the numbers.
AMARA SHURLEY — 36%
That means you got… 64% of the vote, now that you did the math. Holy shit. “Holy shit!” You gasped, letting out a Bella-reminiscent squeal just as Steph did, and you were smothered by two heavily-perfumed hugs, the wind knocked out of you, but did that matter? No.
You were the President. The first female President. POTUS. The youngest ever elected too, at 35.
Holy fuck, holy shit, holy crap. This was the most beautiful day of your life, beside the day you met Bella and Steph, that day was important. “You’re POTUS.” Steph grinned, waving for, like, six whiskeys for all of you to down.
“You’re POTUS, baby girl.” Bella giggled, squeezing your shoulders and then spinning around on her bar stool, pointing obviously to you and yelling “POTUS!”, earning a round of cheers and applause from the patrons that made you bury your face in your hands.
But you did it with a grin. You were the President.
Honestly, being the President was exhilarating, cause that meant you got to make real change, it was incredible. Your new security team had fended off the paparazzi from smothering you Bella and Steph style except more annoying as you were escorted into the White House, a woman only a little younger than you waiting with an eager grin and a clipboard hugged to her chest.
“Welcome to the White House, Madam President.” She grinned, holding out her hand nervously then retracting it— she didn’t know what new bosses wanted, alright? “I’m Becky Rosen, I’ll be your assistant. Anything you need, I’ll handle it. Do you want anything? Tea, coffee, water, a martini— if you want a martini I’ll have the barman get one ready and waiting for you in the Oval Office…”
During that time she’d been rambling you’d examined Becky, getting a feel for what she was like. Thank God your assistant was a woman also and she seemed like good fun, lively spirit, definitely someone who won’t make your schedule sound boring. But she looked overworked and tired, maybe from the last president— that’d be Raphael Easton, right? Yeah.
“Two things,” you started as you were walking through the halls to the Oval Office, “do you have the files for personal bodyguard applicants that I can cycle through before making official speeches?”
“They’re all on your desk, ma’am.” Becky answered almost immediately— damn, she was rather eager, and happy with her job, clearly, but also had dark circles and eye bags that made something twinge in you. It didn’t sit right.
You nodded, then gave her a warm smile, gently taking the clipboard. “How ‘bout you take the day off, yeah? It’s only my first day, I don’t need anything yet, and I can get the applicants from…” You looked through the labels on the file: FBI, CIA, private agencies, ADX Supermax— ADX Supermax?
“What’s wrong, ma’am?” Becky asked, seeing the way your words trailed off upon seeing the file amid all the other incredibly professional outlets for protection, an applicant from the ADX. Well, you did say unorthodox applicants can apply if they wanted to, you just didn’t expect a dude in prison to put his file through.
Oh. Upon opening it, it was just a letter.
You looked up to Becky, biting your lip in thought, cause if this guy’s in the Supermax, he’s prolific.
“Do I have a direct line to the director of the FBI?”
ADX Florence was a fortress, a high-tech prison designed to keep America’s most dangerous criminals sealed away from the world. It wasn’t a place where hope grew. Dean Winchester, prisoner 11347-7, wasn’t the kind of guy to expect hope anyway. A hitman with a list of bodies long enough to fill a small town cemetery, he had resigned himself to spending the rest of his days in this tomb of concrete and steel.
It wasn’t regret that gnawed at him in the sterile silence of his cell. Regret wasn’t his style. He’d made his choices, taken his hits, and lived by the only code he knew: survival. But that didn’t mean he liked being locked away. Dean had always been a man who thrived on freedom—the smell of asphalt under the Impala’s tires, the weight of a weapon he knew as intimately as his own heartbeat, the thrill of a job well done.
Now, his days were measured in three meals delivered through a slot and the endless monotony of isolation. Until that morning in 2008 when the guard, a surly guy Dean called Mustache, slid a newspaper into his cell along with the breakfast tray.
Dean didn’t read newspapers often. What was the point? The world moved on without him. But that day, boredom got the better of him. He skimmed headlines about wars, scandals, and the economy’s nosedive. Nothing he hadn’t expected. Then his eyes landed on something that made him sit up straighter on the cot.
“Wanted: Elite Personal Security for First Female President. Apply Now.”
The ad stood out like a neon sign in a desert. Beneath the bold letters was a glossy image of the President standing in front of the White House, flanked by Secret Service agents. The text outlined the need for a personal bodyguard—someone with impeccable skills, discretion, and a willingness to take a bullet if necessary. Experience required. Unorthodox candidates welcome.
Dean read it twice, then a third time, the words stirring something he hadn’t felt in years. It wasn’t quite hope, but it was close.
ADX Supermax wasn’t the kind of place where people left easily. But this ad…this ad was a door, cracked open just wide enough for someone like him to slip through.
“Unorthodox candidates,” he muttered, smirking. “Guess I qualify.”
By lunchtime, Dean had a plan. It wasn’t perfect—nothing he did ever was—but it was a shot, and that was more than he usually got in this place.
He spent hours staring at the blank sheet of paper he’d salvaged from a previous legal memo. Writing wasn’t his strong suit. Hell, if he’d been good at words, maybe he wouldn’t have ended up in the killing business in the first place. But this wasn’t about flowery language. It was about convincing someone that a convicted hitman could be trusted with the life of the most powerful person in the country.
Dean leaned over the small desk bolted to the wall of his cell, chewing the end of his pen as he started to scribble.
To Madam President,
I am writing to express my interest in the position of personal security for the President. I realize my application may raise questions, given my current circumstances, but I ask for your consideration based on my unique qualifications.
Before my incarceration, I was highly skilled in tactical operations, surveillance, and neutralising high-level targets. My ability to assess danger and act decisively has been tested in some of the most dangerous environments.
Though I am serving time for my past actions, I believe in redemption. This position represents an opportunity for me to use my skills for a greater purpose. I have spent my years here reflecting on my choices, and I am prepared to dedicate my life to protecting someone who stands for hope and progress in this country.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I am available for an interview at your convenience.
Sincerely, Dean Winchester
He read over the letter a dozen times, making minor adjustments. It was rough, sure, but it was honest. And honesty was something he didn’t traffic in often, neither were fancy words, and he used a lot of them.
By the time he was done, his hand ached, and the paper was smudged from his grip. He folded it carefully and tucked it into the pocket of his jumpsuit.
The next step was trickier.
Dean’s lawyer, a wiry man named Feldman who’d been paid off by some shadowy client years ago to keep an eye on him, didn’t usually show up unless Dean demanded it. This time, Dean played the card of “urgent legal matter.” When Feldman arrived, looking mildly annoyed but curious, Dean slid the letter across the table during their monitored meeting.
“You want me to…submit this?” Feldman asked, raising an eyebrow.
Dean nodded. “Straight to the President’s office. No detours, no ‘I’ll get to it later.’ This is priority one.”
Feldman stared at him like he’d grown a second head. “You realize this is insane, right? You’re in here for life. They’re not going to let you out just because you can write a heartfelt letter.”
“They might if they’re desperate enough,” Dean countered. “And that ad says they’re looking for someone who can do the job, not someone who looks good on paper. I can do the job.”
Feldman sighed, running a hand through his thinning hair. “And if I say no?”
Dean’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “You won’t. You owe me.”
Feldman muttered something under his breath but pocketed the letter. “You’re lucky I like long shots.”
Weeks passed. Dean didn’t hear anything, and for a while, he wondered if Feldman had tossed the letter in the nearest trash can. But then, one morning, Mustache appeared at his cell with an unreadable expression.
“You’ve got a visitor,” he said gruffly.
Dean frowned. “Who?”
“Didn’t say. Get up.”
Visitors were rare, especially unannounced ones. Dean followed Mustache down the cold, narrow corridors, his curiosity growing. When he reached the visitor room, his breath caught.
The woman sitting on the other side of the plexiglass partition was dressed in a crisp suit, her posture radiating authority. She wasn’t Feldman, and she definitely wasn’t a typical visitor.
Dean picked up the phone on his side of the glass.
“Mr. Winchester,” she said, her voice calm but firm. “I’m here on behalf of the President.”
He leaned back in his chair, smirking. “Guess you got my letter.”
Her expression didn’t change. “We did. It was…unconventional.”
“That’s me in a nutshell.”
She glanced at a folder on the table in front of her. “Your record is extensive. Multiple charges of murder-for-hire, conspiracy, weapons trafficking…” She looked up, her sharp eyes locking onto his. “Why should we trust you?”
Dean leaned forward, his tone serious. “Because I know what I’m doing. You want someone who’ll lay down their life for the President? Someone who’ll see the threats before anyone else does? That’s me. I’ve been on both sides of this game. I know how killers think because I’ve been one. And if you give me this chance, I’ll prove that I’m more than what’s in that file.”
The woman studied him for a long moment before standing. “We’ll be in touch.”
Dean hung up the phone, watching her leave with a mixture of hope and disbelief. For the first time in years, it felt like the world outside ADX Supermax wasn’t as far away as it seemed.
You’d been running interviews for a bodyguard for about a week now, and you’d only started them once Becky had gotten a good rest, as well as the rest of the staff at the White House so they could spend good time with their families. First few weeks of presidency were busy ones, so you wanted your employees to have some time for themselves before anything happened.
Nobody seemed suitable to you, even though you’d been presented with the best FBI, CIA and private outlet’s security detail they had, they’d each and all failed your every attempt to make them seem credible, you didn’t want anyone like that. Tabloids had already gotten to smearing your name regarding this, but you were more concerned with your final applicant.
Dean Winchester.
You’d asked the FBI to send over every file they had on him, and the list was — you hated to say it — extensive. Many assassinations of high and low-level targets, and he was credited with over 100 assassinations in the past two years— you had your doubts about this guy, the director of the FBI had said he was in there for a reason.
You’d find out if he was unhinged, or just a normal man.
Well, Dean had been escorted as covertly as possible with a bunch of military and secret service agents, which didn’t make sense as his hands were shackled to his feet. The only way he’d be getting out of these chains was if he was a magician, and he wasn’t, just incredibly good at marksmanship and fighting, thank John for that.
“Alright, alright.” He scoffed, almost tripping out of the car as he was practically shoved up the steps by the agents by his head. “I’m moving, I’m moving, Jesus fuck, you ladies are uptight.” He got to the door of the White House, and holy shit, he was really here. He got let in, hearing a Secret Service agent blabbing in his ear.
“Any funny business, 353, and we’re sending you straight back. You’re gonna address Madam President with respect, no cheek—” Ugh, the sound of his voice was grating, but all Dean could do was let out a terse nod as he was led to the door of the Oval Office and led inside. He stepped in, glaring at the service agent who had been yapping about decorum. Then, suddenly—
“Oi! Hey, hey!” A woman’s voice snapped, and he looked up from his shackles to see you, and boy, were you young for a president. You had to be his age, right? Yeah, and you were surprisingly gorgeous for a POTUS, but the way you’d stood up with a loud chair screech from your desk, snapped your fingers and pointing at Dean’s shackles with a livid expression, he knew the agents were in deep shit.
“The fuck is this?” You gestured to the heavy shackles on Dean’s wrists and ankles— they were quite heavy and uncomfortable, now that he paid attention to it, but he was more focused on how much of a little Spitfire you were. Young, but you were snapping at these middle-aged men as if they were 5 year old children. “You might as well put a chain around his neck, for God’s sake— whichever of you has the key, take those things off and leave my office, if he kills me, fine, just have Amara take my place, she’ll do a damn good job as well.”
The service agents stood there, stunned, and then a stern look from you — “Damn,” Dean muttered — got the agent next to Dean to shove the key in the lock to his wrists and ankles, letting the chains fall free, and they were promptly carried out. You sighed, returning to your desk, running a hand through your hair.
“I am so sorry about that, Mr Winchester, I’ve just always found those chains really inhumane.” You rushed the sentence, gesturing to your desk in front of you and sipping your coffee to calm down. Honestly, not your best option, it probably made you more jittery.
Dean didn’t argue, he didn’t want to get scolded, just made his way to the desk, grey jumpsuit — he was in protective custody in prison — rustling with every step until he sat down on the irresistibly comfy chair, cause wow, prison chairs were hard and low standard.
His ass felt like it was in heaven right now.
“No problem, ma’am, I see the point. Not exactly the cleanest slate.” He didn’t think it was wise to make a joke of how he’d assassinated people for hire, but it made you laugh, so maybe that was good going. Who knows? “And call me Dean.”
“I see that.” You smiled, then gestured to Dean with a warm smile, not something he was used to unless it was the smiles of his mom that he barely remembered. Otherwise it was either hungry, lustful smiles of desperate women and cunning smiles of ruthless businessmen and mafia bosses. “So, Dean, before we get started, would you like anything? Tea, coffee, water, beer, whiskey— one candidate asked for straight vodka. He’s not getting the job.” Damn. The new POTUS was cool.
“Water would be great.” Dean would have a drop of whiskey, but he wanted to make a good impression and hydrate himself with something other than low-quality prison water. So, when you passed him the water, he downed the tall glass in three gulps, but then paused when he saw you watching.
Then he swallowed. Shit.
But you weren’t judging him, you seemed understanding, that yes, prison water probably tasted like rat piss, so he finished the rest of the glass and wiped his hand with the back of his mouth. “Sorry.”
“No need to apologise. Prison must be really rough, treat yourself.” You waved him off, shaking your head, then peered through his file. Rather interesting family background, how did he turn out that way? “Says here that your father’s a Marine Corporal veteran, thanks for his service, and your brother’s a prosecution lawyer that graduated from Stanford Law. Impressive.” You looked up at him, thumb playing with the ring on your middle finger, eyes focused on the paper.
Dean couldn’t help but note that you were beautiful. Not objectively, just factually beautiful. He’s not being a perv.
“My brother’s a nerd.” Dean stated with a smile as you talked about his family, he didn’t blame them, he wasn’t a bookworm, he wasn’t as smart as his little brother in that aspect, Sam was all about studying and being the good kid.
"Yeah, my brother used to say I was a nerd, now look at me." You chuckled, then nodded in acknowledgement. "You, however, you graduated just on the mark, no honours, didn't go to college and transactions show you started as a hitman when you were 20." You paused for a second, cause that was what you couldn’t put your finger on. "But the equal amounts of money went to Stanford in deposits. Why?"
Dean knew he was gonna be interrogated by the new President, that’s a given, and he made sure to prepare himself for the whole psychological evaluation of himself. His expression remained unreadable, only slightly surprised by how quickly you put together that he’d been paying for his brother’s college.
“He’s family. Sammy’s a good kid, he deserves to get away from this life.” Dean answered, it was a simple answer. It didn’t really dig deep into his past or his true relationships with his family.
Well, all you had to know was that his dad was paranoid after returning from deployment and taught him how to shoot like James fucking Bond and Sammy too, but Sam had left for college while Dean had nothing he could do for himself.
"Mhm." You hummed, looking through the rest of it. "Now my guys are finding that in the years since your brother left college, money you've earned from assassinations ordered by high level clients — that are now behind bars — has been wired to a rehab centre down in Delaware. I looked into it, and I found out your father's staying there. None of that money's going to you." Your voice wasn't judging. You instead sounded understanding.
The only reason why Dean wasn’t surprised or shocked by the fact that you knew this was the fact that you were the President. He should’ve guessed. He smiled slightly as you remained understanding about the whole situation though, most other politicians would’ve seen this as a chance to blackmail and threaten him.
“Yeah, my dad’s got severe PTSD. It’s the only good one nearby.” He explained as he crossed his arms. It would be hard to find a rehab centre that accepted his dad given the whole violent record he had.
You couldn’t help but feel sympathy at that. Dean’s juvenile record wasn’t the cleanest, so no shops would’ve hired him so he could make that money, only black ops would. It was strange, and you’d be under fire by the media if you voiced it, but you saw his struggle. “You did it for your family.” You were surprised at how softly you said that.
“Family don’t end in blood, ma’am.” Dean replied, honestly, and you were hit where it hurt by that statement. You were expecting a cold-hearted killer, not a man trying to do right by his post-traumatic father and little brother. “Not if I’m still breathin’. Sammy’s got a good life, a wife, by what I’ve heard. Don’t wanna burden him with all that shit, a-and I haven’t talked to him in a few years. My boy.” He cleared his throat to not get too emotional.
You had to do that too, just to be clear.
“I’m sorry.” But that wouldn’t just fix everything, so you took a moment to let that hang in order to give him some time. “Only important question I’m gonna ask. Hypothetically, we’re under fire at one of my events. You’ve gotten me to safety, and I give you the order to do the same for civilians. Do you do it?”
Dean took in the question, eyebrow raised slightly as he leaned forward, elbows resting on the table as he studied you. That was a odd but interesting question. This was a job interview for real, it seems.
But this answer was simple.
“Civilians. I’d get the innocents out first.” He said, there wasn’t even a hint of hesitation in his voice. Civilians, innocent people will always come first before anything and anyone. He’d made sure when performing hits that no civilians, women, fathers, men, mothers, children— were safely out of the way before taking a shot. If they weren’t, he refused. He wasn’t risking it.
He was expecting you to refuse him on the spot, but instead two words came out that almost made him go “holy shit”.
“You’re hired.”
You’re. Hired. He could die.
“I-I’m sorry, Madam President, I’m what?” He practically gasped, hands clutching the arms of his seat, watching you take out some already prepared parole papers and walking to the door in your heels, handing the file to one of the service agents.
“Hired.” You said simply, a shrug and a smile offered as you walked to the desk. Fucking hell, Dean had never seen a stranger president in his life. “Your parole is being passed effective immediately, and I wanna get you in touch with my stylist and wardrobe guy so we can get you some new and frankly more comfortable clothes. You’ll be staying here, at the White House, you’ll have full access to my staff for anything you might need, but most importantly, you need to call your family.” You tapped your landline that you had prepared on the desk with a small, encouraging smile. “I have Sam’s number and the rehab centre’s number both in your directory file, I’ll give you some time to talk rather than waiting like a creep.”
As you walked out, Dean couldn’t believe his ears. He was now the President’s bodyguard, he got to live in luxury, no doubt there was a large paycheck and he got to call Sammy again. His Sammy, oh, holy shit.
His hand shook as he reached for the landline, opening the file and there it was, Sam’s number, and it’d changed since he got put in prison a good six months ago. His fingers fumbled, clumsily dialling the number and waiting a moment as the dial tone stopped and the ringing shook his eardrum. Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up, please pick up—
“Hello?” Dean’s heart broke upon hearing Sam’s voice again, and he took a shaky breath. Get a grip, Winchester, it’s only your little brother, the man you raised your while life.
“Bitch.” His voice sounded like he’d smoked cigarettes, and he’d quit that habit after high school, but all he could hear was the dead silence of realisation on the other side.
“Jerk.”
The motorcade pulled up to the white-brick colonial house just as the late afternoon sun began to dip behind the row of oaks lining the driveway. You leaned back in your seat, letting out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. For months now, your life had been a whirlwind of campaign rallies, debates, and sleepless nights in cramped hotels. It all felt surreal. You were the President of the United States. Yet, somehow, coming home to this house—the one you’d grown up in—was what made it all feel real.
Secret Service agents stepped out first, scanning the quiet suburban neighborhood for threats. You glanced out the tinted window, catching a glimpse of the familiar front porch where your father had painted the railing a deep blue years ago. The door creaked open, and a small figure darted out onto the lawn before anyone could stop him.
“Austin!”
The call came from Eden, your sister-in-law, who appeared a moment later, balancing baby Wyatt on her hip. She looked harried but happy, waving at you from the porch. Austin, however, was already halfway to the car, his untied sneakers slapping against the pavement.
You smiled despite yourself. Rolling down the window, you called out, “Hold on, buddy, let them do their job.”
The boy skidded to a stop as one of the agents gently but firmly intercepted him, patting him on the shoulder and guiding him back toward the porch. Austin complied, but his excitement was evident in every bouncing step.
By the time you exited the car, your father, Mark, was standing on the porch steps, arms crossed but with a wide grin splitting his face. “There she is,” he said, his voice booming with pride. “Madame President.”
You felt your cheeks flush as you climbed the steps. “Dad, don’t start.”
“Oh, I’ll start, alright,” he said, pulling you into a tight hug. “My daughter, the leader of the free world! They’re gonna need to expand that Oval Office just to fit my pride.”
“Mark, give her some room to breathe,” your mother, Odette, chided as she stepped outside. She was smaller than you remembered, her hair streaked with more gray than the last time you’d seen her. But her smile was as warm as ever. She held her arms open, and you leaned into her familiar embrace, the scent of lavender and vanilla washing over you.
“It’s good to see you, Mom,” you murmured.
“We’re so proud of you,” she said softly, pulling back to study your face. “But I bet you’re exhausted.”
You nodded, glancing over her shoulder to see your older brother Ryan descending the stairs, a grin on his face. “Well, well, look who decided to come back down to earth,” he teased, reaching out to clap you on the shoulder.
“Someone’s gotta keep you grounded,” you shot back, the familiar rhythm of sibling banter falling into place as though no time had passed.
Eden appeared beside him, Wyatt still on her hip. She offered you a smile, and you leaned in to kiss her cheek. “How’s this little guy doing?” you asked, reaching out to tickle Wyatt’s chin. The baby let out a squeal of laughter, his chubby arms flailing.
“He’s teething,” Eden said with a weary smile. “So, you know…living the dream.”
Austin, who had been hovering impatiently at the edge of the group, finally couldn’t contain himself. “Auntie!” he shouted, throwing his arms around your waist.
“Hey, kiddo,” you said, ruffling his hair. “What’s new?”
“I got an A on my science project!” he said, looking up at you with bright eyes.
“That’s great!” you said. “What was the project?”
“Volcanoes,” he said, puffing out his chest. “Dad helped me with the lava.”
Ryan coughed. “Helped is a strong word. He mostly just told me what to do.”
“That’s because you were doing it wrong!” Austin protested, and the group dissolved into laughter.
Inside, the house was exactly as you remembered it. The worn hardwood floors creaked under your feet, and the faint scent of your mother’s cooking lingered in the air. The walls were covered with family photos—some old, some new—including one of you on election night, surrounded by your team, your face frozen in an expression of shock and joy.
Dinner was already laid out on the long wooden table in the dining room. A roast chicken sat in the center, surrounded by bowls of mashed potatoes, green beans, and your mother’s famous macaroni casserole. It was a far cry from the catered meals you’d been eating on the campaign trail, and your stomach growled in anticipation.
“Let’s eat before it gets cold,” Odette said, ushering everyone to their seats.
You took your usual spot, sandwiched between Austin and your father, while Ryan carved the chicken. Plates were passed around, and soon the room was filled with the clatter of silverware and the hum of conversation.
Mark raised his glass of water. “A toast,” he said, his voice cutting through the din. “To my daughter. The first woman to sit in the Oval Office. You’ve made us all so proud.”
“Here, here!” Ryan chimed in, lifting his own glass.
You felt a lump rise in your throat as you clinked glasses with everyone around the table. For a moment, the weight of your responsibilities seemed to lift, replaced by the simple joy of being surrounded by the people who had always believed in you.
After dinner, you helped your mother clear the table, despite her protests. “You’re the President now,” she said, swatting your hands away from the plates. “You don’t need to be doing dishes.”
“Maybe not,” you said, grinning. “But I don’t think I’ve outgrown being your daughter.”
She relented, shaking her head with a fond smile, and the two of you worked side by side in comfortable silence. When the last dish was put away, you found yourself drawn to the living room, where the rest of the family had gathered.
Ryan was sprawled on the couch, flipping through a photo album with Austin perched beside him. Eden sat in the armchair, rocking Wyatt to sleep, while Mark stood by the fireplace, nursing a cup of coffee.
You sank into the armchair opposite Eden, your eyes drawn to the flickering flames in the hearth. “It feels good to be home,” you said softly.
Mark looked over at you, his expression thoughtful. “You’ve got a hell of a road ahead of you, kid,” he said. “But don’t forget—you’ve got us. We’re here for you, no matter what.”
You nodded, feeling the truth of his words settle in your chest. “I know,” you said. “And I’m going to need that. All of it.”
Ryan looked up from the photo album, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Think we’ll get to visit the White House? Austin’s dying to see the bowling alley.”
Austin’s head snapped up. “There’s a bowling alley?”
You laughed. “There is. And yeah, you’ll all come visit. But I can’t promise I’ll have much time for bowling.”
“Why not?” Austin asked, his brow furrowing. “You’re the President. Can’t you just…make time?”
The simplicity of his question made you smile. “It’s a little more complicated than that, buddy,” you said. “But I’ll do my best.”
Later that night, after the house had quieted and everyone had gone to bed, you found yourself standing in the backyard. The air was crisp and cool, and the stars above were brighter than you remembered. You wrapped your arms around yourself, feeling the enormity of your new role settle over you like a heavy cloak.
The back door creaked open, and Mark stepped outside, a blanket draped over his shoulders. He joined you on the porch, handing you a steaming mug of tea.
“Couldn’t sleep?” he asked.
You shook your head. “Too much on my mind.”
Mark nodded, staring out at the dark yard. “It’s a big job,” he said. “But if anyone can handle it, it’s you.”
“I hope so,” you said quietly.
He placed a hand on your shoulder, his grip firm and reassuring. “You’ve got what it takes,” he said. “And you’ve got us. Don’t forget that.”
You looked up at him, your heart swelling with gratitude. “Thanks, Dad.”
He smiled, pulling the blanket tighter around himself. “Come on,” he said, gesturing toward the house. “You’ve got a long day ahead of you tomorrow. Let’s get some sleep.”
As you followed him inside, you felt a sense of peace you hadn’t felt in months. No matter how hard the road ahead might be, you knew you wouldn’t be walking it alone.
The Oval Office was as grand as you’d imagined—perhaps even more so. Its high, curved ceilings and rich, historic decor exuded authority, yet the warmth of the afternoon sunlight filtering through the tall windows softened the edges, giving the room an almost serene quality.
You sat at the Resolute Desk, a stack of documents waiting for your signature. Each one bore the weight of history. Education reforms. Trade agreements. Environmental policies. Every flick of your pen carried consequences that rippled far beyond the iconic walls of this room.
Across the room, Becky, your ever-efficient assistant, was perched on the edge of one of the armchairs, tablet in hand. “After this meeting with the education committee, you’ve got a fifteen-minute break before the press briefing,” she said, scrolling rapidly through the day’s schedule. “Then at three, there’s the Cabinet discussion on infrastructure. And don’t forget the call with the German Chancellor at four.”
“Got it,” you replied, signing your name with a practiced flourish. “Anything else?”
Becky hesitated, glancing at her screen. “Oh, and your new personal bodyguard will be arriving shortly. Dean Winchester.”
You kept your expression neutral, though you’d been briefed extensively on this particular appointment. A former hitman, Dean’s resume wasn’t exactly typical for someone tasked with protecting the President. But his unconventional background—and the skillset that came with it—was exactly why he’d been chosen.
“Right,” you said, setting your pen down. “I’ve read his file. Has he been through security clearance?”
“Thoroughly vetted,” Becky assured you. “And cleared. He should be here any moment.”
You nodded, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “Let’s hope he lives up to the hype.”
Just as Becky opened her mouth to reply, the door opened.
You looked up, and the words you were about to say caught in your throat.
Dean Winchester strode into the room with the kind of presence that made people stop and take notice. He was tall, broad-shouldered, and carried himself with a casual confidence that hinted at years of facing danger head-on. He wore a dark gray suit that was tailored just enough to highlight his powerful frame but not so tight as to make him look polished or delicate. The crisp white shirt underneath contrasted against his tanned skin, and his black tie was slightly loosened, as if he’d deliberately left it that way.
Despite the formal attire, there was an undeniable ruggedness about him. His short, tousled hair was just slightly too messy to be regulation, and the shadow of stubble along his jaw added an edge that no amount of tailoring could hide. His green eyes, sharp and assessing, swept the room before landing on you.
You found yourself momentarily distracted by the way the suit accentuated his broad chest and tapered waist. It was a rare thing for someone to wear something so formal yet exude the kind of raw, unrefined masculinity that Dean seemed to embody.
“Madame President,” he said, his voice low and gravelly as he stopped a respectful distance from your desk.
You forced yourself to refocus, clearing your throat as you rose from your seat. “Mr. Winchester.” You allowed yourself a small smile, noting the way his gaze remained steady but professional. “You clean up well.”
A flicker of amusement crossed his face. “Thanks. I aim to please.”
Becky glanced between the two of you before standing. “I’ll step out and make sure everything’s ready for the committee meeting,” she said, gathering her tablet.
“Thanks, Becky,” you said, watching her leave before turning back to Dean.
For a moment, the room felt smaller. His presence was magnetic, and you couldn’t help but take him in once more, your gaze lingering on the way his shoulders filled out the suit jacket, the way his long fingers rested casually at his sides, the way they gripped his chair as he sat down. You snapped your attention back to his face before he could notice.
Dean leaned back slightly in the chair, taking in the sight of you as you scanned your schedule on the tablet in front of you. The soft lighting of the Oval Office seemed to highlight the sharp lines of your features, and the way you carried yourself—confident, composed, entirely in command—struck him in a way he hadn’t expected.
He’d done his research, of course. He knew your career milestones, your policies, even a few of your personal quirks. But seeing you in person was different. The photographs didn’t do you justice.
As you spoke, your voice clear and firm, Dean found himself watching the curve of your lips, the subtle tilt of your head when you emphasized a point. You had a presence that filled the room, a quiet strength that made it impossible to look away.
“Your main job,” you were saying, “is to ensure my safety, both here and when I travel. You’ll coordinate with the Secret Service, but your focus will be on close-range protection. You’ll accompany me to all public appearances, meetings, and events.”
Dean nodded, forcing himself to focus on your words rather than the way your blouse fit perfectly beneath your blazer. “Understood. Anything specific I should know about your routine?”
You looked up, meeting his gaze. “It varies. I keep a tight schedule, but unexpected situations come up all the time. You’ll need to be adaptable.”
“I’m good at that,” Dean said, his tone confident but not cocky.
“Good.” You swiped at the tablet, then set it down on the desk. “I’ve read your file. Your skillset is…impressive.”
He tilted his head slightly, a faint smirk playing on his lips. “That’s one way to put it.”
You arched an eyebrow, your lips curving into a wry smile. “I’d call it unconventional, but that seems to be exactly what I need.”
Dean’s gaze flicked over you again, this time lingering on the curve of your jawline, the way your fingers tapped lightly against the edge of the desk. He’d worked with plenty of high-profile people before, but you were in a league of your own.
“Anything else I should be aware of?” he asked, his voice low.
You tilted your head, considering him for a moment. “You’re going to see me at my best and my worst,” you said plainly. “Long hours, high stress, bad days, good days. It comes with the territory.”
Dean nodded. “I’m here to do my job, ma’am. Whatever it takes.”
Something in his tone made you pause, your gaze sharpening as you studied him. “You’ve been in worse situations, haven’t you?”
“Let’s just say I’m no stranger to high stakes,” he replied, his smirk returning.
You leaned back in your chair, satisfied. “Good. I’ll need someone who can keep a cool head under pressure. And someone who doesn’t mind telling me the hard truth when I need to hear it.”
Dean’s smirk widened slightly. “I can handle that.”
The conversation shifted to logistics—your upcoming travel schedule, security protocols, and daily routines. Dean asked a few questions, his tone professional, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that he was studying you as much as he was listening.
If you noticed the way his eyes dipped to your collarbone when you leaned forward to make a point, or how his gaze lingered on the curve of your wrist as you gestured, you didn’t let on. You were focused, deliberate, every bit the commander-in-chief he’d expected.
When the meeting wrapped up, you stood and extended a hand again. “Welcome aboard, Dean. I look forward to working with you.”
Dean rose, his hand engulfing yours once more. “The pleasure’s mine, ma’am.”
As he turned to leave, you called after him, “And Dean?”
He paused, glancing over his shoulder.
“You really do look good in that suit.”
He chuckled softly, shaking his head as he left the room, the door clicking shut behind him.
Alone again, you returned to your desk, your mind already shifting to the next task. But for a moment, you allowed yourself a small smile.
It was going to be an interesting partnership.
“Ok, excuse me?” Bella had practically squealed when the door to your bedroom behind you, her and Steph had been shut by Dean, who was now waiting outside to give you some privacy, and thank God those walls were thick enough to hide this conversation. “You didn’t tell us your bodyguard was a Ben Affleck and Brad Pitt combo.”
Steph scoffed, shaking her head. “Girl, no. He’s better than that, he puts Adonis to shame— where’s he been hiding?” They both turned to you expectantly, clearly not aware that your Adonis-transcendent bodyguard was fresh out of the United States Penitentiary, Administrative Maximum Facility. Oh, that’s gonna be a hard pill to swallow, right?
“Prison.” You swallowed, clearing your throat awkwardly upon saying it, cause you weren’t often the bringer of news that a guy like Dean used to be a prolific criminal who kills for money. “ADX Florence. An ex-hitman, to be clear, with over 100 kills in the past two years.”
“So he’s a bad boy.” Bella giggled, clearly not phased, which kind of concerned you with which brain they both were thinking from, and hopefully not the downstairs one. “Even better, oh my god, I was getting worried he’s a goodie.”
Steph raised an eyebrow, her lips curling into a sly grin. “Right? Like, you can’t just drop ‘ex-hitman with over 100 kills’ and not expect us to have questions. Or fantasies.”
“Steph!” you choked, glancing toward the door as if Dean could hear through the thick walls.
“What? I’m just saying!” She crossed her arms, leaning back against the bedpost. “Honestly, though? He’s got that whole ‘dark past but reformed bad boy’ thing going for him. You’re living every romance novel heroine’s dream.”
Bella, not to be outdone, clutched at her chest dramatically. “Forget romance novels—I’d climb him like a tree. That man looks like he could bench press me and not even break a sweat.”
You groaned, burying your face in your hands. “Can we not?”
“We absolutely can,” Bella countered, her voice rising with glee. “Seriously, you’ve got the hottest bodyguard in the country, and you didn’t think we needed to know this? Girl, where’s your sense of sisterhood?”
Steph was nodding in agreement. “Yeah, you’re withholding important information. Like, what’s he like in person? Is he all business, or does he have that smoldering, ‘I could kill you, but I won’t’ energy?”
Your cheeks burned, both from their shameless gushing and the mental image Steph’s words conjured. “He’s…fine. Professional.”
“‘Professional,’ she says,” Bella snorted. “Professional at looking fine as hell, maybe.” She leaned in conspiratorially, lowering her voice. “Come on. What’s he like? Does he flirt? Does he give you those ‘I’m secretly in love with you’ stares when you’re not looking?”
You glared at her. “No. Absolutely not. He’s just doing his job.”
“Sure he is,” Steph said with a smirk, clearly not buying it. “But don’t think we didn’t notice the way he looked at you when he shut the door earlier.”
You blinked. “What? He didn’t—”
“Oh, honey,” Bella interrupted, waving her hand dramatically. “He totally did. That man looked at you like you were the last piece of chocolate cake at a birthday party. And don’t even get me started on how he stood. You know, all broody and protective, like some kind of…” She trailed off, searching for the right words.
“Alpha wolf guarding his mate,” Steph supplied helpfully.
“Exactly!” Bella snapped her fingers. “Thank you, Steph. That’s exactly the vibe.”
You groaned again, resisting the urge to bang your head against the nearest wall. “You two need help.”
“What we need,” Steph said, grinning wickedly, “is for you to admit that you’ve at least thought about it. Because if you haven’t, you’re lying.”
“I haven’t!” you protested, a little too quickly.
Bella’s eyes lit up like she’d just won the lottery. “Oh my God, you totally have! Look at you—your ears are turning red.”
“Leave me alone,” you muttered, glaring at the floor.
But they weren’t about to let you off the hook.
“Okay, okay,” Steph said, holding up a hand as if to calm the chaos. “Let’s be serious for a second. He’s obviously gorgeous, and clearly there’s some…tension. But what’s the story? Like, how did you even end up with him as your bodyguard? I feel like there’s a Netflix series waiting to happen here.”
You hesitated, weighing how much to tell them. “It’s…complicated. He was recommended through some very high-level channels. Apparently, he’s the best at what he does.”
“And what he does is kill people,” Bella said, her voice dripping with mock solemnity.
You shot her a look. “Not anymore. He’s reformed. He went through a rigorous vetting process before he was even considered for the position.”
Steph tilted her head, her curiosity piqued. “So, he’s done bad things, but now he’s protecting the President of the United States. That’s a redemption arc if I’ve ever heard one.”
Bella sighed wistfully. “And he’s doing it all while looking like a Calvin Klein model who got lost on his way to the shoot.”
“Can we not turn this into a thirst-fest?” you pleaded, though you knew it was a losing battle.
Bella leaned closer, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “Oh, sweetie. It’s already a thirst-fest. You’re just in denial.”
The conversation spiraled from there, with Bella and Steph taking turns crafting increasingly absurd fantasies about Dean’s hypothetical love life.
“He probably has a tragic backstory,” Bella said dreamily, lying back on the bed. “Like, maybe he lost the love of his life in some tragic accident, and now he’s sworn to protect others to atone for his past.”
“Or,” Steph countered, “he’s secretly a billionaire who does this for the adrenaline rush. Like, by day he’s your bodyguard, but by night he’s funding orphanages and saving puppies.”
Bella clapped her hands. “Yes! And in his free time, he restores classic cars and writes poetry.”
You stared at them, equal parts amused and horrified. “You two have officially lost it.”
“Or,” Steph said, ignoring you entirely, “he’s secretly in love with you, and this whole bodyguard thing is just an excuse to be close to you.”
Bella gasped, sitting up suddenly. “Steph, that’s it! That’s the one!”
You buried your face in your hands. “I regret ever letting you meet him.”
“Don’t be like that,” Bella said, patting your shoulder. “We’re just saying—you’re sitting on a goldmine of romantic potential here. If you don’t at least consider it, we will.”
“Noted,” you said dryly, standing up and heading for the door. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have actual work to do. Unlike you two.”
Bella and Steph exchanged knowing looks as you opened the door to find Dean standing just outside, his arms crossed and his expression unreadable.
He straightened slightly when you stepped into the hallway, his eyes meeting yours. “Everything okay?”
“Fine,” you said quickly, avoiding his gaze as you brushed past him.
But as you walked away, you couldn’t shake the feeling that Steph and Bella might have been onto something.
The drive to Sam’s place was smooth, the kind of easy journey Dean Winchester hadn’t experienced in years. Maybe ever. The hum of the Impala’s engine, a comforting growl beneath him, was as close to peace as Dean could imagine. His day off had finally rolled around, and he hadn’t hesitated to decide how he’d spend it.
Sam had settled in a quiet neighborhood outside Washington, D.C., where tree-lined streets and neat, white-picket fences painted a picture of suburban serenity. It was a far cry from the lives they’d led growing up, but Dean couldn’t deny it suited his little brother.
Pulling up to the house, Dean killed the engine and climbed out, adjusting his leather jacket as he took in the sight. The two-story home was modest but inviting, with a tidy lawn and a swing set in the backyard visible through the side gate. He could hear faint laughter—probably from Dean Jr., Sam and Jess’s kid, who, much to Dean’s delight, was his namesake.
Dean’s boots crunched against the gravel path as he approached the front door. Before he could knock, it swung open, and Sam stood there, looking every bit the family man.
“Dean,” Sam greeted, his face lighting up in a grin. “Right on time.”
“Of course,” Dean said, stepping inside. “I’m punctual now. Didn’t you hear? I’ve got a government job.”
Sam chuckled, clapping Dean on the shoulder as he shut the door behind him. “I’m still getting used to the idea.”
Inside, the house was warm and lived-in. Pictures adorned the walls—Jess and Sam on their wedding day, little Dean Jr. blowing out candles on a birthday cake, snapshots of family trips to the beach. The scent of something delicious wafted from the kitchen, and Dean’s stomach growled in response.
“Jess is cooking?” Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.
“She insists,” Sam replied with a shrug. “Says you need a proper meal after all that ‘White House food.’”
Dean smirked. “Tell her I’m not gonna argue with that.”
Jess appeared moments later, wiping her hands on a kitchen towel. She was glowing, as she always seemed to be, her blonde hair pulled into a loose ponytail and her smile bright enough to light up the room.
“Dean!” she exclaimed, pulling him into a quick hug. “It’s been too long.”
“Too long,” Dean agreed, glancing over her shoulder. “Where’s the rugrat?”
As if on cue, the sound of small feet thudding down the stairs filled the house. Dean Jr. appeared, his face lighting up when he saw his uncle. The kid was a spitting image of Sam, with floppy brown hair and wide hazel eyes, but he had Dean’s mischievous grin.
“Uncle Dean!”
“Dean-o!” Dean crouched, catching the boy as he barreled into him. “What’s up, kiddo? You keeping your old man in line?”
Dean Jr. nodded enthusiastically. “Dad says you work for the President now. Is that true?”
Dean ruffled the boy’s hair. “Sure is. Cool, huh?”
“Super cool,” Dean Jr. said, his eyes wide with awe.
“Alright, enough hero worship,” Sam teased, though his smile betrayed how much he enjoyed seeing his son and brother bond. “Come on, dinner’s almost ready.”
The meal was hearty—roast chicken, mashed potatoes, and vegetables—and filled with easy conversation. Dean filled them in on the basics of his new job, skirting around the grittier details of his past. Sam and Jess shared stories about their life, from Jess’s latest work project to Dean Jr.’s adventures in Little League.
It was only after the dishes were cleared and Jess had taken Dean Jr. upstairs to bed that the conversation turned serious.
The brothers sat in the living room, each nursing a beer. The light from the fireplace cast a warm glow, and the house was quiet except for the occasional creak of the floorboards above.
“So,” Sam began, leaning back on the couch, “you gonna tell me how this happened?”
Dean took a long swig of his beer, then set the bottle down on the coffee table. “What, me working for the President? Thought you already knew.”
“I know the headlines,” Sam said, his brow furrowing. “But what I don’t know is how you went from ADX Florence to the White House.”
Dean sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Figured you’d ask eventually.”
“Of course I’d ask.” Sam’s voice was gentle but firm. “You were in prison, Dean. The kind of prison people don’t just walk out of.”
“Yeah, well.” Dean leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “It started with a newspaper.”
Sam blinked. “A newspaper?”
Dean nodded. “I was in my cell, flipping through this paper someone left behind. Saw an ad for a private security position with the President. They were looking for someone who could think outside the box, someone with…unconventional skills.”
Sam’s eyebrows shot up. “And you thought, ‘Hey, that sounds like me’?”
“Something like that.” Dean’s lips twitched into a faint smirk. “Figured I didn’t have much to lose, so I wrote up a resume. Handed it off to my lawyer, told him to file it.”
Sam stared at him, his disbelief evident. “And they just…hired you?”
“No,” Dean said with a chuckle. “They didn’t even call me at first. Took weeks before I heard anything. When they finally did, they put me through the wringer—interviews, background checks, psych evaluations. The works.”
“And they still hired you?” Sam asked, shaking his head in amazement.
“Guess they figured my track record spoke for itself,” Dean said, his tone turning more serious. “I’ve done things, Sam. Bad things. But I’ve also done what needed to be done when no one else could. They saw that.”
Sam was quiet for a moment, processing his brother’s words. “And now you’re protecting the most powerful person in the world.”
Dean nodded. “Guess you could say I’m making up for lost time.”
Sam studied his brother, his expression thoughtful. “You know, Jess and I were talking about you the other night. About how far you’ve come. We’re proud of you, Dean.”
Dean shifted uncomfortably, not used to hearing such straightforward praise. “Don’t get all mushy on me, Sammy.”
Sam chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m serious. You’ve been through hell and back, and somehow you’re still standing.”
Dean took another sip of his beer, his gaze distant. “Yeah, well. Standing’s about all I’m good at.”
“That’s not true,” Sam said firmly. “You’ve got a purpose now. A second chance. Don’t sell yourself short.”
Dean glanced at his brother, a small, genuine smile tugging at his lips. “Thanks, Sammy.”
Sam returned the smile, then leaned back with a sigh. “So, what’s she like? The President.”
Dean hesitated, caught off guard by the question. “She’s…different.”
“Different how?”
“She’s smart. Sharp as hell. Tough, but not in a fake way. And she actually listens, which is more than I can say for most people in her position.”
Sam raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like you respect her.”
“I do,” Dean admitted.
“And for your type…” Sam smirked, his voice taking on a teasing tone. “She’s pretty hot.”
Dean nearly choked on his beer. “Sam!”
“What?” Sam asked, feigning innocence. “I’m just saying. You’ve got a thing for strong women, and she sounds like she fits the bill.”
Dean shook his head, trying to suppress a laugh. “You’re impossible.”
“Hey, I’m just calling it like I see it,” Sam said with a grin. “Besides, you deserve someone who can keep up with you.”
Dean rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t deny the warmth that spread through him at his brother’s words.
The rest of the evening passed in easy conversation, the kind that only happened between brothers who’d been through it all together. When Dean finally stood to leave, Sam walked him to the door, clapping him on the shoulder as he stepped outside.
“Take care of yourself, Dean,” Sam said, his voice quiet but steady.
“You too, Sammy,” Dean replied, his gaze lingering on his brother’s home—the warmth, the love, the life Sam had built.
As Dean climbed into the Impala and drove away, he couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of hope. Maybe, just maybe, there was a place for him in this world after all.
NEXT UP:
“Dean,” you said, a touch of surprise in your voice. “I thought you were on your break.”
He didn’t reply right away. Instead, his gaze locked with yours, and the air seemed to thicken. There was something different about him—an intensity in his expression, a flicker of something unspoken.
Without a word, he reached up and tugged at his tie, loosening it further before slipping it over his head and tossing it onto one of the chairs.
Your eyebrows shot up. “What are you doing?”
Dean didn’t answer. He shrugged out of his suit jacket next, draping it over the back of a chair with deliberate ease. His movements were slow, calculated, and impossibly confident.
“Dean?” you repeated, your voice catching slightly.
His shirt followed. Button by button, he undid it with maddening patience, his green eyes never leaving yours. Your breath hitched as he peeled it off, revealing the broad, chiseled planes of his chest and the faint scars that crisscrossed his skin—a testament to a dangerous past.
By the time his hands went to his belt, your pulse was racing.
“What are you—” you began, but the words died in your throat as he stepped forward.
In one smooth motion, Dean swept the documents off your desk, scattering them across the floor. He leaned down, his hands bracketing you on either side as he effortlessly lifted you onto the polished wood surface.
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𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐝/𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝
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...The love potion is Hell Viagra. Guys tHE LOVE POTION IS HELL VIAGRA-
Like okay maybe its not *exactly* that. I don't think Viagra like, actively turns ppl on or whatever, BUT I think it's primary intended purpose IS something similar. It's get horny juice. Cuz like, think about it for a second. Why sell something that's JUST advertised as a date r*pe drug? Why would you do that? Like, I get that it's hell, and bad people gonna do bad things, but the audience for that kind of thing is probably relatively limited. Plus, there are definitely people down there that would be VERY put off by a company that sells something being actively advertised as for date r*pe. Like, a lot of the sinners we see seem to be. Normal people. Which is also why Val shooting up the hotel would be considered bad for the Vees image- A lot of the truly nasty shit the Vees do has got to be kept at least kind of under wraps because a decent portion of Hell's population probably still wouldn't be okay with actively supporting that shit, no matter how much they're being encouraged to indulge in their worst impulses. It's like how, in jail, a lot of the time ppl will gang up on the worst criminals and beat the shit out of them or smthn. Like even the drone ad that explicitly stated one of the features was spying on your neighbors felt more like it was implying just spying rather then like, peeping on them naked. People are more likely to openly say they've been sticking their nose into their neighbors business then they are to say they've been peeping. Still not good, but like. Vaguely more socially acceptable and appealing to a wider market.
There's also the fact that, from the advertisements we've seen, it doesn't really look like that's what it's being advertised for? One of them is Velvette doing a magical girl pose and the other is Val(who is the porn guy. Aka the romanticized sex genre) and Vel just like, laying there together all sexy like. It's vague, but none of it, besides the name if you're genre savy(which I'd like to point out that not everybody is involved in media criticism enough to realize the issues w/ the love potion trope, which wasn't even taboo until a couple years ago tbh), really screams "use this to make people have sex with you against their will!" That, along with the fact that the love potion definitely CAN'T act how love potions normally do in fiction(making the person who ingested it fall deeply, head-over-heals in love with specifically the person that gave it to them), because that would be too difficult to mass produce, and the other usual approach(fall in love with the first person you see) is just too impractical unless someone is truly desperate, I think the use that gets ADVERTISED is "use this to make your sex better and more fun, just like in those pornos we also sell!(buy our shit)" rather than date r*pe.
That doesn't mean I think the Vees like. Actively discourage other uses though. A sale's a sale and one of them is fucking Valentino there's no way they care that much. Any negative reviews along the lines of "somebody used this to fucking drug me" probably get deleted and nothing is ever done about it because, in the end, as long as the suffering is invisible nobody's gonna care. This take doesn't really make the Vees any less shitty, it just makes them more ~realistically~ shitty.
It also makes the love potion a little bit funnier. Like just a lil bit. Bcuz it means you can make Hell Viagra jokes :)
#hazbin hotel#the vees#hazbin velvette#hazbin valentino#hazbin vox#it's applicable to all of them so why not#analysis#gal overanalyzes random shit
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In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.
He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!
You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).
Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!
But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!
#this is a really long winded way to say i really really really really hate new horizon's storyline and player role#i really hate that not only your house but the entire TOWN. the whole COMMUNITY you're a part of is owed to tom nook's business#i really hate the “vacation getaway package” angle because it shows just how commercialized the entire premise of nh is#and how lost the game is in its original core concept#animal crossing is about the experience of moving to a new town and becoming a part of that community#just to compare: all past ac games have a similar opening#you're on a bus or train or taxi to someplace new. a stranger strikes up a conversation and you get to know them before arriving#new horizons opens with you at customer service desk filling out an client application before a flight.#in prev games working for nook in the tutorial is meant to be demeaning. you want it to be over with so you can actually start living life#but in new horizons working for tom nook IS your life. and it's so rewarding! don't you feel rewarded?#you aren't a person. you aren't a new neighbor. you're tom nook's client. and then his unpaid employee. and the game insists it's fun to be#that's how void the game is#because it's bad enough that a rpg life sim got turned into a sandbox game where you have to build the town yourself#but the only reason why you're building it is because the landlord who you're in debt to TOLD you to build it.#everything is a rewards program! everything is a tour service! be sure to do your daily tasks to earn nook bucks to spend on nook merch!#that really sucks imo.#i mean. the entire game is based around the vacationing industry. of course it all feels fake and temporary. it's only a vacation.#long post#rant#not art#god the fact that your starter villagers can't even decide where to live you have to decide for them#i've never played a game that does the opposite of handholding#where instead it's the PLAYER who has to handhold the npcs through everything. and newsflash!! it's really exhausting and boring
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Something I love about how Pride and Prejudice is told through an omnipresent narrator, aside from the witty remarks and insight into other characters it allows even though it's usually focused on Elizabeth, is how it plays on the audience's own prejudices and assumptions.
The narrator tells us very early on, chapter 4, that Darcy is "haughty, reserved, and fastidious, and his manners, though well-bred, were not inviting." We've already seen that when we meet him the previous chapter, and will see more of it in those following. But it's the readers, along with Elizabeth, who take that observation as not only a list of flaws (despite only the first actually being negative) but presumes even more damaging flaws must be attached to it. Darcy can be off-putting, especially so in the setting we meet him in: he dismissed Elizabeth within earshot of her, didn't engage with people attempting to converse with him, etc. It's easy to assume the worst of him in a world so driven by social niceties, and because we follow Elizabeth, who is so lively and playful amidst the rules which govern society. Elizabeth thinks he's bad tempered? It would make sense - he hasn't shown consideration for others much socially, why would he care when he's angry? He acted from resentment and jealousy and went against his father's will? That's not such a jump after the conclusion of a bad temper, his own acknowledgement of implacable resentment, and evidence of pride. The awareness of one offensive trait so naturally leads to prejudice against it, that we easily assume still worse qualities must exist. We are as mistaken as Elizabeth.
Even the idea that 'No, Darcy was never haughty or rude, he was just shy and misunderstood, the narrator is wrong' is just magnifying that prejudice. Yes, we do find out later that Darcy is not at ease among strangers, and was always intrinsically good; his morals and core values meant he was never as bad as Elizabeth believed. But that doesn't mean he was without flaws, and it's so fascinating that some analysis of his character seek to completely remove the negative traits which he eventually overcame after acknowledging them in himself. The logic seems to be that they feel if he had them in the start that he isn't actually such a good person. It's just another example of being so prejudiced against certain flaws that it's impossible for some people to reconcile that there doesn't have to be more serious failings attached, and someone can still be a good person despite being arrogant and not always nice. It's, ironically, being prejudiced in the exact same way that Elizabeth was at the start of the novel. It's amazing that Jane Austen was able to tap into that aspect of human nature so deftly, and invoke in both in her main character, and readers to this day.
Now, of course, the story is so well known it's rare for anyone to read it blind, so it's less likely anyone will be unaware of Darcy's good qualities despite first seeing his worst. Even if they do, Pride and Prejudice has become so genre defining that new readers who are the slightest bit genre savvy will be more aware than contemporary audiences were. But even if we know the story it's still so understandable why Elizabeth feels the way she does. We see what she sees and feel her conclusions make sense. Just as, even though the narrator tells us Darcy is starting to catch feelings for Elizabeth, we fully comprehend her not noticing and believing there's a mutual dislike. And though that is concrete evidence of Elizabeth not reading Darcy and his motives correctly, we are still so sympathetic of the basis of her prejudice that her continued belief in Darcy's lack of virtues makes sense from her point of view. We can see, as she later will, that she takes it too far, and should have noticed evidence to the contrary, but her prejudice against him based on his early behaviour and her pride at reading people correctly is so understandable.
Basically, in a story about the characters' pride and prejudices, I love, love, LOVE how the narrator's voice brings out those same traits in readers the exact same way we see it presenting in Elizabeth. We're all on that journey with her, and we can likewise learn the same lessons about ourselves as she does. Pride and Prejudice feels timeless, because even though society and thus the nuance changes, the book is about human nature, and that remains essentially the same.
#pride and prejudice#jane austen#discourse#elizabeth bennet#fitzwilliam darcy#i do think P&P does this more than Persuasion or S&S#S&S has each stance exemplified by two different characters and we observe rather than experience the same journey ourselves#Persuasion features SO many different types of persuasion and analyses them and explores the well meaning/self-serving applications of them#and that the effects can be good or bad despite the motive and all the nuance of 'when do we have the right or duty to persuade others'#but that's still a more clinical look at it and we're aware we're analysing it#but P&P really makes us PART of the titular experience and I think so many people don't realise it#I think it's a huge reason of why the novel is so satisfying
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SEL MY SEL …….. crawling over here for the ask game …………… you already know . who i’m going to ask for phdkdjdkdb IN MY DEFENSE I WILL NEVER GET OVER YOUR VERSION OF HIM !!!!!!!
….. sugu ….. with ’sun’ ……. maybe 👉👈
(🍵 <- a little matcha for your troubles … good luck with the writing exercises my loveee <33 i’m cheering you on!!!)
ARI 🥹🥹🥹🥹 hehe ofc i shall write sugu for u! writing him is always so fun 🥹 thank you for the prompt, and for the matcha!! i will be sipping it as i write this 🥹 it is not a trouble at alllll!! esp if it's for youuuuu 🫶
contains: beautiful, gorgeous, sexy neighbor suguru, mood can be a bit unsettling... honestly a little stockholm syndrome-y (does this count as dark? idk 😭), skewed concept of reality and time
suguru + sun
you move into a new neighborhood on your 24th birthday.
it's a quaint house, fully furnished with wooden panels lining its contemporary build. you consider yourself lucky for finding a place this well-kept at the price point you offered. you're honestly surprised that suguru, your now landlord, accepted your application.
the area sits a few kilometers on the outskirts of the city, but it feels neither too quiet nor too busy; a perfect balance with an impressive view of the rising sun this early in the morning. that, and the people seem friendly, greeting you as they pass by. they even offer to help you haul things out of your car and into the house.
to the right of your house is one that holds the same design elements at yours, although a bit darker in its tones. it's sleek and modern, befitting of a bachelor.
"you must be the new tenant," a voice speaks from behind you, syrupy and smooth. you didn't even hear his footsteps.
when you turn around, you're met with a tall man who greets you with his arms held behind his back as he tilts his head low. there's a calmness that radiates off him, a sort of gentleness that signals he’s someone you can trust.
you nod, introducing yourself with your hand outstretched towards him.
"suguru," he replies as his fingers grab yours delicately. your eyes widen in surprise, recognizing the name, and he merely chuckles in return, a soft laugh that brings out kindness in his eyes.
"i should greet you properly," he lets go of your hand, placing it back behind him. "hello, new neighbor."
.
over shared breakfasts by your porch and impromptu dinners over at his, you grow a liking to suguru. he's polite and thoughtful, often knocking at your door in the mornings to offer you a cup of tea to watch the sunrise.
"you'll only find sunrises like this here," he leans back on the wooden chair you set out as outdoor furniture. his head tilts towards you slightly, impossibly close as you notice the corner of his lips curl up into a small grin.
hues of pinks, purples, and orange blend to illuminate his face perfectly. the sun is beautiful in front you, peeking between clouds as it inches away from the horizon, but something about him is infinitely more magnetic. your stare is immediately drawn to his lips, smooth and supple, before it meets his gaze.
you don't know what's worse―wanting to lean in or be pulled by the look in his eyes.
he fixes things that break in your home, always somehow knowing just when to show up. at first, it was your windows, the one by the attic, too high and dangerous for you to climb; then, it was your kitchen sink, its pipes regurgitating the water going down the drain. he's begun to bring you your groceries too, often asking for a list of what you need when he makes trips out of town.
your days blur easily when you're with suguru, and time passes almost fleetingly as you find your hours filled with soft laughs and touches so delicate you sometimes wonder whether they're real.
it should be noted, you think, how much time has passed since you first met him―an anniversary of some sort.
.
you learn that he owns both houses―his and the one you're currently renting. it once belonged to a friend who had to move for bigger, greater responsibilities elsewhere, he'd said.
"why did you decide on renting?" you ask him one night, over wine and candlelight.
your fingers fiddle with his as he sits you on his lap, this thing between you growing more intimate lately. he rubs his thumb along your thigh, resting his chin by your shoulder.
"you could have sold it or something."
he presses his lips gently on your collarbone.
"i could've," his fingers trail up to your waist, crossing your chest before landing on your chin, cupping it lightly to face him. your heart is hammering in your chest, senses on fire as his nose kisses yours. you think you can count every mole that dots his face beautiful. then, he inches closer, lips grazing yours as he whispers, "but i was waiting for you."
.
you mark each day at sunrise.
your digital clocks and calendars stopped working after some time, but you don't mind. suguru always tells you what date it is when you ask.
this morning, you wake up in his bed, and the sun is still as breathtaking as you remember it, the same pink, purple, and orange hues streaming through his window. when you look closely, the clouds―
"good morning," he brings you tea in bed, his hair topped off with a bun, a half-up-half-down.
your stomach fills itself with something warm and fuzzy as you smile at him, "morning."
"slept well?" his hand reaches for your waist under the duvet, and you giggle, ticklish.
"very," you crane your neck to land a soft kiss on his lips. "what date is it today?"
"october 28," he supplies.
your eyebrows shoot up as you realize, "i have to bring my car to the mechanic."
it's been 6 months now since your last check, right before you moved, and though you barely use your car anyway, it's best to be safe.
you quickly move to get up but suguru's hand keeps you in place, firmly pressed on your waist.
"i'll do it," he says with a smile on his face, "you rest here."
.
you barely see your other neighbors except for the girl who smokes a pack of cigarettes a day and the twins down the street.
when you ask suguru about it, he dismisses the question quickly, saying, "must have moved," as he urges you to take another sip of your tea.
you dream of them that night, on bare streets; it wakes you in a cold sweat, the image of your neighborhood reduced to just your house and suguru's.
.
this is the 200th sunrise since you started counting, which means this is the 200th day since you and suguru officially got together. kind of.
your gift for him is a painting of the sunrise, because it reminds you of him; and because it's become your favorite thing to look forward to, too.
the pinks and purples blend together beautifully as it contrasts with the orange hues, and the sun continues to peak above the horizon as it settles between clouds.
suguru kisses you when you give it to him, the taste of tea right on his tongue.
he frames it on his bedside, and when you wake in his room the next morning, it greets you along with the back of his head, fast asleep.
your eyes flit to the view outside his window, the same pinks, purples, and orange hues. you tilt your head curiously, brows furrowing. the sun stays at the same spot above the horizon, and when you look at the painting again, the clouds hold the same position and shape.
a chill washes over you, your hearbeat pounding.
.
"what date is it today?" you ask suguru as you wash the potatoes in the sink.
another bag of groceries from suguru. now that you think about it, you don't think you've ever gone to the grocery store since moving.
"is it important?" he responds, slightly snappy. you've begun to notice that he hates it when you ask lately.
you eye him from the side.
"i was thinking of preparing a menu of what we'll eat during the holidays, if it's near."
the furrow on his brows smooths out as you give your answer, and so he says, "december 5."
and you know something is wrong, because that can't be it. it doesn't make sense with the sunrises you've counted.
.
you dream again, more and more as the days go by―dirt roads and your house and suguru's, run-down and empty. more things start breaking in your apartment, and suguru always knows when they need to be fixed.
there's a deep, twisting feeling in your stomach that intensifies, festering under your skin; it worsens in the mornings, when you sit with suguru at your porch and you think you see a crack in the sunrise.
.
sunrise valley the place where the sun never sets! ─── beautiful, bright, and destined for people who live just like you! find your new home here.
[DISCONTINUED] — FOR DEMOLITION ON DECEMBER 7. under investigation for suspicious spiritual activity and missing persons.
#suguru x reader#jjk x reader#shotorus.workbook#waaah i hope u like this ari!! its a little bit (really) different from the genre i typically write#but i was talking to niku abt it and she urged me to push for this kinda strange kinda spooky one#its not fwb sugu like how i normally write him but i hope it's still /him/ yk ? sAWB#some stuff about the blurb: he's not human ! he's a spirit ! not necessarily evil but i think definitely a little bit possessive#he lures people in and builds that 'neighbourhood' around them; kind of like a simulation ? the tea he serves is meant to keep#the people hallucinating !#and also in real life before all of this went down reader was looking for a home and saw the listing#reader sent an application without visiting bc desperate ! (idt u should ever do that irl tho haha) but yeah#so when reader drove up the first time to the location it was actually just a dirt road#but theres some magic juju at a border that makes reader pass out ! and he feeds them the tea and thats how reader thinks that#they drove all the way to the house and everything . basically believes in whatever suguru makes them see#there are lots of details i included that kind of mean smth more later on but i wont list them here anymore ! i hope u catch them eheh#the lore of the neighborhood is that satoru and suguru were gonna build it together but they had a falling out (haha)#bc of difference in opinion hahah and so the plan never really went thru and suguru got hella stressed by it and so on and on and on#which is why his spirit is here !#i had to cut it short ! bc it would have been hella long 😭 but i would have added more stuff in between if ever#if u have any questions abt this lmk ! whbshfbash i hope u like it wahhh its really different from what im used to writing!#ari.🦔#ask#rep#twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat
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this episode really feels like them just hanging out and bonding while there happens to be a camera present. and a nerf dart martini
#smosh#amanda lehan canto#angela giarratana#amangela#smosh mouth#askgjsgjakgnjsg#i dont like true crime personally but i do see why they would like it . and i LOVE watching them talk about why they like it LOL#tbh the more they talk about it the more i can see the parallels of what i love about horror as a genre#the way true crime can veer into voyeurism/disrespect of the actual lives involved can throw me off but like amangela actively acknowledges#thats not a universally applicable thing for ALL true crime ofc#and i totally TOTALLY get the aspect of loving picking apart human behaviour and patterns and thoughts . so. hmmm.
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I just rewatched 02 x 07 for the first time since finishing all the books and I can't stop thinking about it. I feel like everyone is either on the side of (1) it was all a big ploy, or (2) that's it for Moiraine and Siuan they can never come back from this--but I really don't think either of those are true.
I think the most in character thing Moiraine could possibly do is forgive Siuan, for the following reasons:
Moiraine knows that she would do the exact same thing that Siuan did here--namely, sacrifice anything (even their relationship and their trust in one another)--for the sake of the world and their mission. And this shared goal, these compatible values, and this mutual understanding is literally what has kept them together despite 20 years of distance and secrecy from the world.
[MINOR BOOK SPOILERS] We see in one of the books that Moiraine believes she and Siuan have made their beds and will lie in them one day by becoming involved in the quest to find the Dragon -- I believe the way she phrases it is about payment coming due for all the rules they've broken and the secrecy etc. that they needed for their quest. If this is her attitude, she is not only willing to give up everything, but expects to give up everything. And she expects it of Siuan as well.
Siuan has already proven how much she would give up for their quest. She became Amyrlin despite, as we learn this same episode, how much she did not want to be trapped in the tower and could not see her future there. She gave up any semblance of a happy life (how she would picture it both with and without Moiraine!) for this quest.
In some ways, if Siuan had just let Moiraine take Rand through a waygate to Falme, it would have actually been a betrayal of their mission. Their mission wasn’t “get Rand to Falme.” It was “protect and train the dragon reborn.” Siuan feels the need to do that as acutely as Moiraine does--and critically, Moiraine knows this about Siuan.
This goes quadruple if Siuan actually did think Moiraine could be a dark friend. Siuan thinks Moiraine lied to her!! And Moiraine knows this too, since Siuan does at least have the chance to say "You lied to me!" Moiraine would understand that if there was any chance Moiraine had been turned or was compelled, Siuan had to try and stop her from taking Rand off to god knows where.
Literally just a few days earlier Moiraine had threatened to have Alanna take Lan’s bond by force if he stood in her way--aka, the way of her mission. At this very moment, Moiraine herself has spent days (weeks?) contemplating what it would mean to betray the autonomy and trust of those she loves most if it means saving the world. And she knows what side she's on.
When Moiraine says, “if you have ever loved me don’t do this” my heart shatters into a million pieces. But that line is not just ,“it will be a betrayal of our love and trust if you compel me." It is that, but it's also a call for Siuan to see Moiraine for MOIRAINE. She’s saying “you know me.” She’s trying to get her (Siuan) to see that what she (Moiraine) is doing is not about her shame and pride but about the mission. Because it is ALWAYS about the mission, Moiraine IS the mission, and Siuan loves her because of that, and Moiraine knows Siuan loves her because of that
Moiraine clearly hesitates before going through the waygate. Her character isn't one to linger out of shock and betrayal. She lashes out and she puts up distance--we've seen this all season. Moiraine moves forward. So I read her looking at Siuan here as far more "I love you and I'm sorry [I can't help you? it's come to this? we can't reconcile?]" than "How could you?" or "You're a different person to me now." I’m not trying to minimize the violation Moiraine is also feeling in this moment, I just think that if the violation was her primary emotion she would likely behave differently. And if she can have this messy a set of emotions even in the heart of the moment, I have faith she can similarly hold multiple emotions later when reconciling.
The flashback scenes are so heartbreaking but they don’t have to mean that Moiraine and Siuan feel so betrayed and far from those versions of themselves that they will never be together again. Those flashbacks can also be saying “remember when we were those people?” Holding onto those versions of themselves is how they hold onto their love despite this scene.
Those flashbacks also remind us that their relationship in the show is like 50 years old. It is deep. People don't throw away 50 years of relationship without a conversation, even if there is a deep betrayal involved. And that's normal people--not even people who have given up absolutely everything for a cause that the relationship has now gotten wrapped up in. In the books, they are together for a few years and then seemingly go their separate ways when the Dragon is reborn. I don't think the show would have gone out of its way to deepen and lengthen this relationship just to end it so quickly and unceremoniously.
#anyway maybe I'm delusionsal#but it just seems absolutely impossible to me that they would spend that long building up their relationship to just be like okay poof bye#but I also think them working together and having this all be a big plot sort of cheapens the moment#plus that just isn't the type of show this is#and the episode titles have been more applicable to the following episode in season 2 for whatever reason#so daes damar can refer to the games everyone is playing in the finale#although I remain confused how siuan knew where to go and where the waygate is#ANYWAY I get why people are so distraught by what siuan does here but I just don't think moiraine will see it that way#moiraine is a morally complicated character despite being so sure of right and wrong and I just have to believe she sees that in Siuan too#wheel of time#moiraine damod#siuan sanche#siuan sanche waits for only one woman
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Snitches get stitches, Burt.
#Markiplier#iswm#in space with markiplier#Gunther#celci#burt#Gunther b gunnerson#Celci f kelvina#Engineer mark#main#ask-the-invincible-crew#Scheeze art#YES I AM STILL ALIVE FEBRUARY and MARCH WAS ONE HELL OF AN EMOTIONAL RIDE#AND PEOPLE are still sending in asks oh god bless you all i swear i read every single one of your asks#and some asks make me laugh like crazy so im going to eventually get to them after i finish applications and stuff#thanks for bearing with me!#also my favourite panel out of this whole thing is just burt's face LMAOOO#IM SO EXCITED FOR MY PLANS IN APRIL YOU HAVE NO IDEA#while i was drawing burt i showed my friend and she was like 'WHY IS LUIGI GETTING CHOKED TO DEATH'#IM SOBBING
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they should invent a job that I can do and I don't have to drive super far to get to
#just blahs#i am going to cry ok guys#im trying to decide if this is better or worse than being in highschool and idk guys#why is everything hard and why is it so hard for me in particular for some reason bcs I know the majority of people deal w this just fine#why does driving have to scare me so fucking bad and every job is like 30 minutes away#and none of the places here in town are hiring and if they are they require previous experience or whatever and I don't have any#ive never had a job and its so hard to find applications anywhere bcs none of the small places here are on job listing websites#and i dont have every little shop here memorized to look them up#and it doesnt help that just the idea of going in for an interview makes me want to cry out of anxiety#and i was trying to get a babysitting job at the least#but the lady i was gonna babysit for wanted me to do it for like 6.25 an hour for both a 7 and a 1 year old ..#like maam .... i am not going to watch a young child and a literal infant for that much ...#and then when i said hey uhhh could you do more than that maybe ? she was like oh no i cant do that at all#and im sitting here like :|#im going to cry
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why is it so difficult to find a microwave that isn’t fuck ugly. inquiring minds want to know
#why do companies insist on making all applicances so uglyyyyyy#it’s literally their favourite thing to do. besides making them shit of course#maybe it's just me but if it’s going to have to sit out on my countertop i’d rather it not be sucide inducingly depressing to look at#text#own
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So the formal job offer never arrived last week despite the promise that it would be with me on Thurs or Fri. So my first thought was for my current employers, who’ve been (very generously) waiting to do the paperwork that moves me from one or three months’ notice, in the hope that I can start my new job sooner. So now I’ve told them I’ll give three months notice. Which is no bad thing really, as it takes me to practically the end of my current contract, and starting a new job in Jan is no bad thing in my industry.
But now I’m going to spend the entire weekend - possibly longer if this keeps dragging on - WONDERING IF I REALLY HAVE A JOB AT THE END OF MY CONTRACT OR NOT.
#The Job Saga#if poverty beckons I need to start living on beans on toast…#just be honest with your job applicants if it’s going to take you a while to get paperwork ready for them!#they knew I needed to give notice and that I wanted to do right by my current employers and communicate with them#and they have not helped me do that#why are work politics so very neurotypical. about all work things everywhere ever#soph rants#personal
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☆IMPORTANT NOTE: DO NOT RECCOMEND EARPLUGS TO ME ON THIS POST. I AM AWARE OF THE EXISTENCE OF EARPLUGS AND HEARING PROTECTION. NOT WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT☆
they should invent like, power tools that are quiet and dont make horrible sounds
#toy txt post#i could even tolerate like the sounds that get made from like the material being drilled or whatever if not for the noise of the tool#itself#'just wear earing protection/earplugs' you do not get it you dont understand. i Would if that wasnt Worse#its like i can Feel the Noise in the Fucking Air and thats also why headphones dont work right for like listening to music#this was also my issue w the coffee grinder (in addition to it being. cheap and apparently shitty. not its fault but the noise was still#bad) them i got a hand grinder and its so much quieter. its fine. now the worst part is just cleaning it#i know there are hand saws for some applications but are there??? like?? hand? drills??#that i can use to like. hang a shelf on my wall???#its great that we turned them into machines to make it easier for ppl who use them frequently and all that but like do we have Quiet#Versions? this and like fucking Vacuum Cleaners pls
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