#it's always very endearing to me when actors support each other's projects

[airenyah]

awwww besties supporting besties

[confusednarcissistwrites]

Could you write a jealous timmy fic pls?

AHHH so this is pretty much pure fluff lol I feel like there’s a lot of angsty jealousy fics out there so I wanted to try and do something a little different. hope you guys like it!! ☺️💛

Jealous? (T.C.)

(cursing, smut, flufffff)

“Baby, I’m late! I gotta run,” you giggled, pressing the puckered lips of your doting boyfriend away as you pulled on your shoes.

“Ughhh fineeeee,” Timothée whined, following you to the door like a puppy. “Have a good day, baby doll.”

You grinned, pecking his lips. “You too, cutie.”

You’d been filming intermittently for the past few months on a local indie project. It was hard not to be daunted by Timothée’s big name films, but your heart was in dinky, little indie projects with weird motifs, and you were perfectly content to stay in your niche acting there in New York. It kept you close to him.

You’d only been together for about six months, but you could tell that this wasn’t a short term type thing. This was your first project since you and Timothée had gotten together, and he’d already been incredibly supportive every step of the way. It was almost like you had your own personal cheerleader every day.

Once you made it to the studio, you realized you had missed a text from Timmy.

T💕: “u forgot ur lunch :(“

You: “dang it :/ I’m sure I can find something around here tho”

You slipped your phone back into your pocket, heading into your dressing room to get your hair and makeup done for the day. About halfway through, your director knocked on the door and popped his head inside. He was all smiles, eager to get into the scenes for the day. “Hey, Y/N! Just wanted to let you know we are starting with 32 today!”

“Great, thank you, Derek!” you responded, grabbing up your script in between your makeup artist’s brush strokes. You flipped through the marked up pages, landing on the scene.

“Ooh, you’ll need some extra setting spray today!” sang Marrissa, giving you a playful wink as she finished up the avant-garde paint job on your face and began setting it with powder.

After getting dressed, you strode out to the set, feeling excited and confident for the day’s shoot. The schedule was packed, but you were ready for it.

•••

It was less than an hour after you had left that Timothée became bored. You’d left him a grocery list, but he couldn’t imagine how dreary the supermarket aisles would be without your puns and odd-ball fun facts about preservatives. He smiled to himself, feeling a bit silly for missing you so much.

He decided that he’d go pick up lunch from your favorite restaurant and bring it to you since you’d left your lunch at home; he knew how rough catered lunches could be at times.

It was about noon when he arrived at the studio, entering quietly as he knew they were likely filming somewhere nearby. He greeted the staff he passed, some looking at him with wide eyes and making him chuckle to himself a bit, but most had seen him with you before. He was instructed to the set and eventually found his way to you. What he was greeted with, however, stopped him dead in his tracks.

You were practically naked, your body only draped in a sheer, flowy gown that left little to the imagination. An actor circled you, his eyes hungry and predatory. In a snap of movement, he was on you. Timothée watched in shock as he gripped your throat, feverishly kissing you. You, completely immersed in character, reciprocated, releasing a soft whine audible to the crew.

And Timothée.

He, of course, logically knew you were simply acting in a role, but to see such a thing made his stomach twist and ache. Half of him was astounded by your talent and beauty, but it was nearly completely overshadowed by his jealousy.

An abrupt call of “CUT!” pulled him from the trance, both you and the actor stepping away from each other. It took you a few moments to notice him, but, the moment you did, your face lit up, and you hurried over to him.

“Oh my goodness! What are you doing here, mon amour,” you grinned, pulling him into a quick kiss. He smiled back, but you instantly could see it was a bit forced. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Timothée shook his head, presenting your lunch to you. “I just brought you food! I was worried you wouldn’t find anything around here, and I wanted to see you,” he confessed, blushing a bit.

You tilted your head. “Thank you, Timo. That’s very sweet, but what’s wrong?”

“What? Nothing. Nothing’s wrong!”

“Mm, never play poker,” you teased, continuing to press his buttons.

He sighed, scratching the back of his neck. “It’s- honestly, it’s stupid. Can we go to your room?”

Suddenly, it clicked. “Oh my god, it was the scene, wasn’t it?” you gasped, leading him to your room and closing the door behind you.

“Y/N…” he warned.

“It totally was!! Babe, you kiss other actors all the time; you know how it is!”

“Okay, yeah, but- I just, ya know, haven’t seen you do it before!! It was just a little.. startling I guess,” he stuttered, clearly flustered and defensive, his arms crossed over his chest. “I mean, you don’t dress like this at home!”

You set your lunch down, letting out a snort. “Darling, I’m also not typically the damned ghost of a duke’s daughter at home either,” you deadpanned, wrapping your arms around his neck. His arms wrapped instinctually around your waist, pulling you close. “Are you jealous, Timothée?” You wore a cocky grin, finding him incredibly endearing.

“I just don’t like seeing other guys all over my girl; is that a crime?” he whined, making pouty faces at you and making you giggle. He wasn’t one to be upset over much for very long.

“Mm, I love when you call me that,” you sighed, biting your lip at him.

He very promptly reacted to your shift in tone, raising a brow at you. “Don’t start anything you can’t finish, doll.” His voice was quiet and low, making you grin.

“Oh, you’ll finish, alright.” His eyes went wide as you pushed him back onto the couch with a giggle, placing yourself in his lap and tugging his bottom lip between your teeth.

“You’re so baadddd,” he sang, giving your ass a playful squeeze. You rocked against his growing bulge, pulling him into a hungry kiss. Your costume pooled around you both as you continued to grind against him; the thrill of the possibility of getting caught spurred you on, much to Timothée’s delight. His lips latched onto your throat eagerly. He wished he could leave a little sign to remind your scene partner of his place but decided against it in fear of you getting scolded.

“Only for you, babe,” you hummed. In a flurry of fabrics, you slipped down the floor, kneeling between his spread legs.

Timmy was pleasantly surprised, chewing on his lip as you made quick work of his belt and fly. He was already incredibly turned on. You removed his length from his jeans, pumping him up and down while gazing up at him. “Fuck, Y/N,” he gasped, sliding down in his seat. You took him into your mouth, knowing you didn’t have as much time as you’d like. You circled your tongue around his sensitive head, relishing the soft groan he let out. You licked a wide stripe along the underside, feeling him twitch in your hand. The gratification of watching him feel so good was nearly enough to get you off all on its own.

He gently gathered your hair, holding it out of your face as you began to bob your head up and down his length. “Holy shit, baby. Ugh, your mouth..” he babbled mindlessly, hips twitching up toward you every so often. You weren’t able to fit all of him into your mouth, so your hands aided in the effort, one following your lips while the other squeezed his thigh or roamed over his stomach occasionally. Feeling warmed up, you pressed yourself further, taking him down your throat until you managed to reach his base. You held for as long as you could before pulling back, gasping for air; he was no easy fit. He cursed, his slick cock twitching against his stomach while you caught your breath. He bit the back of his hand to keep from getting too loud. You quickly went back to work, sensing he was getting closer.

You watched his pretty, hazel eyes roll back as you sped up. “Fu-fuck, Y/N, don’t stop,” he whimpered, his free hand tugging at his own hair as he tumbled toward his climax. Suddenly, his whole body went tense, his head falling back in a silent shout as he spilled his lust into your waiting mouth. You did you best to swallow all he had to give, not wanting to make a mess. He trembled softly and let out sighs as he came down from his high. You pulled off of him with a little pop, biting your lip up at him while he tucked himself back into his jeans. You pulled yourself back up onto the couch next to him, grabbing his chin and pulling him into a lustful kiss.

“See? No reason to be jealous,” you purred, bumping his nose with your own.

“Jesus…” he panted, laughing and running his hands over his face as he soaked in what had just happened. “You’re something else.”

You giggled and hopped up, wiping away your watery eyes in the mirror, readjusting your costume, and drinking some water; you hoped your voice wouldn’t be too hoarse for your next scenes.

Timmy followed after you like a little puppy, wrapping himself around you from behind. He was always so cuddly after an orgasm. “Mmmm, I’d love to return the favor,” he hummed, pressing kisses to your neck and shoulders.

You grinned, leaning back into him. “Ugh, I wish. But I have to get back to set now, my love.” He stuck out his bottom lip, pouting at you through the mirror. “You’ll have to make it up to me later.”

He walked you back to set, his fingers tangled with yours and a little smug smile on his face; anyone could have guessed he just got some.

“I’ll see you later tonight,” he hummed, smiling like a fool. You stood on your toes to peck his lips, but the moment you pulled away, he pulled you right back again, locking lips with you heatedly for a few seconds more. You blushed hotly, hearing a few whistles coming from the cast and crew. It was only after he pulled away and headed for the door that you saw your scene mate standing a few feet away.

[mariocki]

RIP Daria Nicolodi (19.6.1950 – 26.11.2020)

"I grew up in a house that was like a library or a museum. I feel I refined Dario's taste very much. I went with him to many art exhibitions. [...] I feel I guided Dario to something outside the scope of just cinema, towards art, music, theatre, and other things."

"For me, I did not want to be a star; I just wanted to act well."

A true icon of the silver screen, and one of the most significant figures in Italian genre cinema of the 20th Century. Daria was born in Florence, in 1950, into a talented family of intellectuals and artists: her father was a lawyer, her mother an academic; her maternal grandfather was Alfredo Casella, a composer and conductor who counted Stravinsky, Mahler and Strauss among his friends.

Daria moved to Rome while still a teen, and by 1970 she was beginning to find work on stage and screen. Elio Petri was quick to spot her talent, guiding her through her first theatrical roles, and ultimately casting her as the female lead in La proprietà non è più un furto (Property Is No Longer a Theft, 1973), a highly political satire about wealth and class in modern Italy. The following year, she attended auditions for Profondo Rosso (Deep Red), where she met director Dario Argento. Until this point, she had mostly played attractive blondes and love interests; Argento could see that she was capable of more nuance, and had her cut her long hair and dye it red, adopt a more masculine style of dress, and bring her wry sense of humour to the character of Gianna. In return, Daria adopted some of the director's mannerisms and habits for her character, particularly in her physical movements and hand gestures. The two worked well together, on screen and off; they soon became romantically involved, and in 1975 Daria gave birth to a daughter, Asia Argento (her second, having previously had a child with sculptor Mario Ceroli).

Daria and Dario would remain together for the next ten years. In the process she became not only his partner, but his closest collaborator, and in many ways his muse. Before Asia was born, the two took a holiday in northern Europe, travelling around France, Germany and Switzerland. The trip reminded Daria of her grandmother - another artist, the French pianist Yvonne Müller Loeb Casella - who had a keen interest in the supernatural, and thrilled the young Nicolodi with tales of her time at an academy on the Swiss/German border, where the faculty had all practised black magic. Those stories would form the basic outline of Argento's next film, Suspiria (1977). The couple developed the idea between them, and worked together on the script, incorporating everything from fairy tales to Nicolodi's dreams. In later years, Argento would downplay the contribution made by Daria to the finished script, but her influence - and in turn, the way Suspiria would influence the entire horror genre, and develop Argento's work - is undeniable. Her fight for official recognition - and a screen credit as co-writer - left the actor exhausted.

Daria had also intended to act in the film, but was prevented by injury. She returned for Inferno (1980), the spiritual sequel to Suspiria, and once again contributed behind the cameras: the original concept was Nicolodi's, and she worked on the script with Dario. Unwilling to fight him again, her writing work went uncredited this time. With their professional relationship strained, Nicolodi would only agree to a small supporting role in Argento's next film, Tenebre (Tenebrae, 1982). However, when the American actor who had been cast as the female lead dropped out just before the start of shooting, Daria once again found herself starring in an Argento horror film. The shoot was not a happy one; as Daria bonded with her onscreen love interest, Anthony Franciosa, over a shared passion for theatre, Argento became jealous and difficult. The atmosphere on set deteriorated to such a point that, when directed to give a short, sharp scream for the final shot of the film (her final day of shooting), Daria instead unleashed a long, deafening howl of terror. What she described as her "cathartic release from the whole nightmare" would become one of the most iconic moments in the film.

By the time they were making Phenomena (Creepers, 1985), the relationship between Nicolodi and Argento was beginning to fail. They would separate that year, and although she initially did not express any interest in working for the director again, she was tempted back for Opera (1987) by an elaborate death scene. Outside of her work with Dario, Nicolodi had built up a modest but significant filmography with other big names in Italian genre cinema. For the great Mario Bava, she starred in his final film, Shock (1977); for his son, Lamberto, she took a supporting role in Le foto di Gioia (Delirium, 1987). Michele Soavi, a protégé of her former partner, cast her in La Setta (The Sect, 1991), but mainly she would concentrate on the stage from this point on, describing theatre as her first love. The tragic death of her elder daughter, Anna, in 1994, only kept her further away from the limelight. It was the burgeoning career of younger daughter Asia, both as actor and director, that would tempt her back in front of the cameras.

Although she made comparatively few films, Daria's impact on Italian horror cinema has been huge. What's most fascinating is how deeply individual and unique each of her performances were. It's tempting, in looking at her work with Dario Argento, to perhaps project a potential pattern in her different roles, that aligns with how he may have viewed their relationship. In Profondo Rosso, shot whilst they were still getting to know one another, she is self-contained, confident, attractive and capable. By Inferno, when their relationship was well established and they had a child together, her character is much more vulnerable, an innocent caught up in something terrible and in need of protection. In Tenebre, one of Argento's most accomplished films, she has her weakest part - she was unhappy with the role, which is notably underwritten compared to the characters around her, and in which her main purpose seems to be to react to the events unfolding. As their relationship faltered on the set of Phenomena, she took her ugliest role of all - a dark distortion of obsessive motherhood. Perhaps it might seem like a disservice to her, to make these comparisons, but it is also true that Daria was an incredibly obliging actor - always at pains to give her director (Argento or otherwise) exactly what she thought they needed, whether requested or not. Petri had told her she reminded him of a figure from his past, so she consciously exaggerated those mannerisms to please him; Argento originally struck her as egocentric, so she mirrored his stance and his gestures. A consummate professional, I don't think it's beyond the realm of possibilities that by Phenomena she was channeling their dysfunctional relationship and distorted self images into one of the most intense and disturbing performances of her career.

I would have first seen Daria in Profondo Rosso, more than a decade ago now. It remains one of my favourite films, and her performance in it quite simply one of my favourite performances ever given by an actor. Gianna is such a complete and unique creation, unlike not only any female character in Italian cinema at that point, but quite unlike any character in a horror film. Profondo Rosso is a giallo film, perhaps the finest giallo film - it is a bloody, terrifying slasher film in which horrific violence is visited on the undeserving. And as Gianna, Daria spends the entire film incredibly, almost deliriously happy. She grins, she poses, she spins her cigarellos between her fingers. She teases David Hemmings, pricks at his ego, challenges him to arm wrestling contests. She drives a broken down car, tricks her way into crime scenes, and takes photographs of witnesses even when strictly forbidden to. She is among the most likeable, endearing, and thoroughly real protagonists to ever appear in what is essentially a fantasy film. She is so very human that she grounds what should be a totally absurd concept, and in the process provides exactly what it is that makes that film work so well - and it did work, the film was a huge critical and commercial success, and revitalised Argento's career after an early 70s slump.

There are two cuts of Profondo Rosso, and I know there is a school of thought that the shorter, international cut (which removes much of Nicolodi's work, trimming all the more jovial and character-building scenes) is the superior one - that it makes for a sharper, more suspenseful thriller. I absolutely disagree. To cut the relationship scenes is to take out the heart and soul of the film: Hemmings is the purported lead, but his character is detached, emotionally stunted. The heart of the film is in Nicolodi - in her sharp suits and twinkling eye, in her laughter and her fear - and the only reason the suspense works at all is because the audience has a reason to care, someone to care about. Profondo Rosso was the first time I saw an Italian film not as a garish thrill, but as something much deeper, more profound. It was perhaps the first time I realised that a horror film could also be art. I fell in love with Italian cinema, with gialli, and with Daria Nicolodi.

[johnkrrasinski]

𝐄𝐱𝐢𝐥𝐞

Chapter 4: Leaving Out the Side Door

full masterlist // series masterlist // commission open // support my work

Pairings: Dark!Steve Rogers (in future chapters) x Reader

Word Count: 2,325

Summary: Steve Rogers; a Hollywood A-lister and your clandestine occasional hookup. Best friends since childhood, but people change and friendships fall out. Now you were merely strangers with benefits. What happens when one day you stopped being his doormat to be a better man’s queen? The selfish Steve Rogers would not like it. How far is he willing to go to get his favorite possession back?

Warnings: smut, non-con/dub-con, dark Steve (in later chapter), angst, Steve Rogers is an asshole in this one, no redeeming qualities. (MUST BE 18+)

A/N: this series is dedicated to the lovely @belovedcherry​​​ who commissioned this story and developed the concept. thank you for being a friend when i truly needed it. i’m really glad that you trusted me to write this story for you. with all my heart, i sincerely hope you like it. this series will be updated every day.

You were on your knees with your hands tied behind your back as he vigorously thrust into you. Your heartbeat pounded in your rib cage and you began to feel numb from the hours he had fucked you. Steve was relentless when he was chasing his own climax, greedily used you as a tool; giving zero fucks about your pleasure or your discomfort, to dump his load in.

Steve didn’t need to see your face or hear your consent. He could go on and on for hours and still not feel satisfied. One thing that you had learned from this being in this dead-end friends with benefits thing with Steve Rogers is that his stamina was relentless. And he wouldn’t think twice about getting what he needed whenever he needed it.

Steve impaled you as your face was squeezed into the pillow, you could hear the squelching noises from the ceaseless cycle of disposing his semen in you and then pushed it back in when he was ready for the next round. Your head began to feel dizzy and your visions turned hazy. You’d tell him to stop because you couldn’t take it anymore, but you knew you didn’t have any strength left in your body to do so.

So you ascended from your body and let him take the wheel; allowing him to go as fast as he wished. He kept hammering until he felt your cunt clenching around him and his cock pulsated, then the line blurred as the coil inside you burst, withering every nerve in your body.

“Ah, fuck.” He grunted. He stayed still inside you until he felt himself softening and then he retreated.

Steve unbound your wrists and he threw himself on the other side of the bed. You knew better than turning to his side and cuddle on his chest unwarranted. He always expected you to get up and get out of his house instantly because he either had another place to attend and didn’t want to see you still here when he comes home or he was ready for another hookup.

Every now and then, you’d let him use you to fulfil his needs and you’d volunteer in cleaning his apartment afterwards. Even after those countless nights where you weren’t the one who made a mess of his sheets.

Ever since that night in your dorm; the first time you were reborn into a blossomed woman and the first time Steve paved the way of traversing to the electric piquancy of venereal act for you, you couldn’t stop. You couldn’t stop letting him through your door or drive to his place at three in the morning just so he could let off some steam.

Every time you try to say no, he’d always pay you a visit unannounced. He’d paralyze you with his words and freeze you with his unchaste touches. “Shh, let me make you feel good, baby. You just gotta surrender yourself to me.”

You’d try to push him away but your brittle tenacity was unavailing. Fast forward to five years later, when you finally got your degree and life vagabondized to unexpected places, your sex life was still staying still in one spot.

You were recruited by National Institute of Mental Health as their project manager. You were possibly the youngest candidate to occupy this position but they were very impressed by your resume and your interview that they didn’t have any better choice than giving you the job.

You loved it, you excelled at what you do. Helping people and tending for their mental health was the aim of your life. You had a clear vision of how you were going to initiate a concept, plan a strategy and execute the plan. You respected your colleagues and vice versa. It was a suitable environment for you to work in and you enjoyed every minute of it.

Your best friend aka your former roommate, Natasha was your rock. You still talked to her everyday and she’d always text you in case she couldn’t call. You’d exchange stories about how your days went and she’d always send you pictures or videos of her adorable cat, Liho. It always carved a smile on your face.

The same goes for Wanda, although with her busy schedule of graduate school and supervised experience made things a little difficult for you to stay in touch, she still updated every nugatory detail of her life. You loved her and you missed her excruciatingly. You had driven to New Haven during some weekends to see her and spend time with her, but when the weekend was over, you had to return to New York because your job was waiting for you.

They were your two most endeared girls and you couldn’t wait for the day you finally introduce them to each other. Natasha and Wanda had said hi to each other a few times back when you were still living in the same dorm but, you really wanted to spend time with the two of them at the same time. They would totally click.

But if anyone asks you about your love life? Well, how could you explain something that was nonexistent?

Unless “friends” with benefit counts for something…

A bell on your apartment dinged and you reached for the door. A man in black with purple nuances uniform showed up with a package in his hands. “Miss Y/L/N?”

“Yes, that’s me.”

“Here’s your delivery. Sign here please.” He handed you a piece of paper to draw your signature on and you accepted it without question, knowing full well it was another extravagant gift from Steve. Yep, that Steve.

The Steve Rogers.

A Brooklyn-born movie star of various blockbuster films, a remarkable singer and the face of Calvin Klein’s campaign this year… and Gucci Guilty’s last year.

The notorious womanizer but it was all good because he was the man. When you had starred alongside Leonardo DiCaprio and posed next to Oprah, who would give a shit if you never stopped playing the field, right?

And because he was The Steve Rogers, he could’ve spent his money on any lavish item and he could’ve put his dick wherever he wanted it. That included you, being the object of his wealthiness and his manliness.

How many times had you tried to reason with him when he constrained you to come over after a drunken hookup with a twenty-something model to clean up the mess and take out the trash? Perhaps just a few numbers exceeding the number of times he’d play the most charming man in the world only to forget your existence until he wanted you again.

So your feet innately transported you to your car, wearing the brand-new crimson red, bodycon dress with deep V-neck that displayed your cleavage, spaghetti straps baring your arms and a backless design that made you shiver due to the crisp air and drove to a place you had grown so accustomed to.

And this was the God knows how many times you were corrupted on his bed again. You had been so busy with your upcoming project that NIMH was ready to announce but you just couldn’t find it in yourself to resist the urge to come over to his place.

You stood on your wobbly feet, cleaned yourself up and see yourself out. Wouldn’t want to keep another mistress waiting in line…

Three weeks have passed since you last slept with Steve Rogers. Whispers on the streets chirped that he had been occupied with shooting a new film, erotic thriller slash mystery genre. Seems appropriate.

You yourself had been snowed under your work. The fundraiser event that NIMH was holding had been wearing you down but it was all worth it when the show was on. Negotiating with sponsorships, seeking donations and managing ticket sales were not easy, and it was all part of your responsibility because you were the boss, but you aced it anyway.

You were also responsible to hire professional entertainers and well, knowing that you got some connections to a well-known actor, of course, he was the first name on your list. But due to schedule conflicts, he couldn’t make it. It wasn’t a problem though, you still had a long list of names; film stars, movie producers, musicians, directors, moguls, etc.

You stood in your black sequin dress at the corner of the venue, inhaling all the sedulity and gumption you had invested in this event for the past couple of months. A part of you was secretly hoping that Steve would be here to see it, but you quickly eliminated those thoughts away.

9th-grade summer break. Upon the verdant hills overlooking the tranquil lake below; the moon’s faint glow ricochets on the water.

“What do you wanna be when you grow up, y/n?” his head reclined on his the palms of his hand, arms sprawled out like a butterfly’s wings.

“I wanna… Help people. My mom is a nurse and my whole life I watched her taking care of people she’d never met and I wanna have her big heart. I wanna do something that saves people.” you beheld the twinkling stars in the crepuscular sky, privily prayed that every word would come true.  

“You wanna be a nurse like her too?” His eyebrow raised.

“I don’t know… Maybe I’ll host a charity event or something and then I’ll use all the money for those who need it. It looks cool in the movies.”

“When I make it, I’ll come to your event and help raise the money too! People would be interested in giving money to celebrities, right?” the credence glinted in his eyes.

“But the money will not be for you, doofus.”

“Yeah, I know!” he chided. “I wouldn’t take a single cent even if I could. My mom taught me that if I were given the chance to put others first before me… I should and I will respect her legacy.”

You watched the host and your project leader, Tony Stark stood behind the acrylic podium and he greeted the crowd a good evening. He opened his speech, cajoling the guests with his words to share a little bit of their wealth as many as possible and closed it with a cordial adieu.

You made your way to one of the most respected guests; Benjamin Woods was sitting on the fifth table. Two times Oscar nominee and you were jittery to talk to him, but in this line of work, you were trained to be confident and act like one of the elites. So you weren’t going to freak out like an obsessive fan, you gotta keep it cool and classy. Plus, during the briefing, you were told to fraternize with as many of the guest as possible, persuade them to help us reach the goal.

You had your eyes set on the target until you bumped on a six-foot man, spilling the martini in his hand all over your dress. It caused a few heads turning but that was the last thing you cared about right now. “Shit!” you squawked.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry miss.” a British accent was hinted.

You grabbed a napkin from the nearest table to wipe away the stain but of course, it was futile. He offered a hand by saying “here, let me help.”

“No, no it’s fine, I’ll-” you looked up to see a handsome man with a pair of grey, slightly blue and green fused at the core. His dark brown hair matched the stubble covering his entire jaw and you were captivated by the work of art that was his face. Man, what a gorgeous creature. “…Manage.”

“I’m truly sorry, I must really stop reading through my emails while walking.”

“Don’t worry about it, sir. It happens.”

“Can I at least get you a drink? I’d feel really bad if I don’t do anything to compensate for my error.”

You averted your gaze from him to the person you really wanted to talk to but that could wait. You still got a few more hours to properly introduce yourself. “Yeah, why not?”

“Splendid.” You both walked toward the bar and sat on the stools. The next thing you knew, you had spent the last one hour talking and acquainting with this man. Apparently, he was the executive director of Filmmakers Without Borders where funding films and new media projects that aligned with themes of social justice, empowerment and cultural exchange was the prime focus of his job. He believed that if he could support ideas that would make the world a better place, he’d do it without a second thought.

He was also a big traveler. He loved seeing magical places in foreign countries, he was keen on exploring new cultures and learning new languages even if he could only recollect a few basic words. He claimed that he had traveled to nine countries in Asia and he planned to travel across Europe, his so-called home, once he had conquered the omnifarious continent.

And what enthralled your heart the most about him was that he was a proud father of two adorable dogs; a greyhound and a pomeranian and a benign Siberian cat. He spoke about them so fondly. He showed you pictures of them and he said that he’d love for you to meet them. Oh man, was that a subtle invitation to come over to his place soon in the future?

He was a real gentleman, courtesy and multifaceted were the proper words to describe this man, and you had only known him for one hour. Eventually, duty calls and you still had a role to play in this event, but before you could hop off the stool, he had asked you for your number and you gladly gave it to him. You had a feeling that this wasn’t farewell but rather, an incipience. The question is… What could it be of?

[madeofitzits]

In honor of the impending return of Brooklyn 99, here are 99 reasons that...

1. He was precocious enough to know, at 5 years old, that he wanted to change his name (x)

 2. He has a bunch of nicknames: Sandy Amberg, Young Sandwich, etc. but the most endearing one is 'Droidy', his family's name for him (x) 

3. He is still super close friends with people he's known since: Elementary School (Chelsea Peretti) (x)...

4. Junior High/High School (Kiv and Jorm) (x) 

5. … Summer Camp (Irene Neuwirth) (x)

7.  ...and Film School (Chester Tam) (x)

8. Before he met Joanna, he dated other famous ladies but - out of respect - he never discussed it/them (x) 

9. He loves turtles and tortoises. When he was a kid, he had a pet turtle that he named 'Squirt' because the first time he held it, it peed on him. His Mom, Margie, accidentally killed Squirt when Andy was at Summer camp... (x)

10. … Maybe this is why, when shooting 'Popstar', Andy fell hard for Maximus (Conner 4 Real's turtle). He says they "had a good thing going" and that he wanted to adopt him. In the end, he decided against it because there are a bunch of coyotes in his neighborhood and he was worried the little guy wouldn't be safe. (Popstar: DVD Commentary)

11. Speaking of his Mom, despite being a super private person, he appeared on 'Finding your Roots' so that he could help her track down her birth family (x)

12. When he succeeded he cried (although we never got to see it on camera) (x)

13. That's because, like all good boys, he loves his Mama which is why - as part of the same episode - he said "My mom is basically the kindest person I know… and many people would corroborate that" (x)

14. Andy's Sisters, Hannie (Johanna) and Darrow, used to make him wear diapers and put his hair in pigtails until he was 5 years old. He says he didn't mind because he just liked that they were paying attention to him (x)

15. That's why he sees his identity in comedy as being 'America's kid brother'. When he was young, he would annoy his sisters until they laughed and he claims to have been replicating that approach to entertainment ever since

16. Although a bunch of his characters have 'Daddy Issues', Andy definitely doesn't. He's super close with his Papa (Joe) and has said "he's a good man" and "the best Dad in the world" (x) 

17. Joe was Andy's youth soccer coach and in one scene in 'Hot Rod', Joe's favorite photograph can be seen in the background. It shows a very young Andy posing with a soccer ball, after "scoring the winning goal against Mersey" (x)

18. He's been a loyal Golden State Warriors fan since he was a little kid, living in Oakland (then Berkeley) and, in 2010, he correctly predicted that they would "win a Championship in my lifetime" (x) 

19. The proceeds from his Umami Burger ('The Samburger') went to a deafness early detection program in Berkeley. This cause is close to his heart because Margie uses hearing aids and used to work in the special needs program, teaching deaf kids (x)

20. He, Kiv, and Jorm have made multiple donations to their old school district, including $250 000 to its theater program (x)

21. On the subject of The Lonely Island; Andy always goes out of his way to make sure that everyone knows how much he owes to his buddies. For instance, he told Marc Maron, during his WTF appearance, that "I get a lot of credit for what Kiv and Jorm have done" (x)

22. He makes this face when he knows he’s said something naughty…

(Gif credit: @andrewsambags)

23. During his 'Wild Horses' appearance, he said that he can't watch scary movies because they freak him out too much. He told 'Complex' that he's still scared of 'The Shining' (x)...

24. … Similarly, when he was at UC Santa Cruz he worked at the Del Mar movie theater and he had a hard time coping with screenings of 'Species 2' (x)

25. He fell in love with Joanna, the moment he met her, when she greeted him by addressing him as 'Steve the C**t' (x)

 26. He listened to 'Ys', everyday for a year, before he and Joanna started dating (x)

27. He bought the original portrait that was used as the basis of the cover art for 'Ys' and gave it to Joanna as a Christmas present, so that she could hang it in her music room (x)

 28. He loves birds and goes hiking and birding with Joanna (x)

 29. Every new comment he makes about Joanna becomes an instant contender for 'most beautiful thing a person has ever said about their spouse' (x)

30. For example, he readily admits that Jake's iconic heart eyes are the result of him thinking about his amazing wife (x)

31. There are many stories about how incredibly romantic Andy and Joanna's wedding was and Jorm has said that it featured "the most magical vows I've ever heard" (x)

32. The Newsombergs now live in Charlie Chaplin's old house (x)

33. On the Emmys Red Carpet (2015), the year he hosted, they took a momentary break from posing for the world's press to whisper 'I love you' to each other (x)

34. At last year's Vanity Fair party, Andy carried Joanna's purse for her so she could grab a snack (x)

35. He was a semi-permanent fixture in the audience for her recent run of shows for the 'Strings/Keys Incident' tour, even officially confirming his status as the 'President of her Fan Club' (x)

36. He used his Golden Globes monologue to call out the government for framing and murdering the Black Panthers (x)

37. On the Carpet for the Guy's Choice Awards, he called the event "a ridiculous farce", adding that "men already have it so easy - it's insane that there's a show that celebrates them". That makes sense when you consider that he, Kiv and Jorm have made an entire career out of parodying toxic masculinity (x)

38. He once said that only "idiot-ass men" think that women aren't funny (x)

39. He’s been wearing glasses since 7th Grade and he has the most heartbreakingly cute habit of nudging them up his nose, (especially when he wears his Sol Moscot frames) (x)...

40. ... and of rubbing his eyes under them (x)

41. He barely ever wears glasses for roles but he also avoids contacts (because he doesn't like touching his eyeballs) which means he's almost always 'acting blind' (x)

42. He has worn his glasses in character a few times - as 'himself' ('Lady Dynamite'), as 'Paul' ('I Think You Should Leave') and during a very small number of SNL sketches (e.g. during his one appearance in a 'Gilly' with Kristen Wiig) (x) 

43. He can't tolerate glare and when that makes him squint it's a sight that's too cute for words (x)

44. He owns about six outfits and has been rotating them for well over a decade (x) 

45. He barely ever breaks during shooting/while performing, so when he does it's aggressively adorable. (x), (x)

46. He's a grown ass man who persuades people to come with him to the bathroom because if he goes by himself he'll get lonely (x)

47. He didn't announce he was leaving SNL, until after his last appearance, selflessly choosing not to detract from Kirsten Wiig's huge and emotional send-off (x) 

48. He undertook a quest to smell like Lorne Michaels (x) 

49. He's ageing like a fine wine (x)

50. To protect their daughter's privacy, Andy and Joanna never announced that they were expecting. They've never released their little girl's name or date of birth and most news outlets still report that they became parents in August 2017 (even though that's inaccurate) (x)

51. Although he's careful not to talk about his daughter often, sometimes he can't keep from gushing about her. For example, when asked about his first year of fatherhood he said: "It’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Just like a beautiful, incredible dream. It has surpassed every expectation I ever had. It’s definitely been very blissful" (x)

52. After their daughter was born, Andy and Joanna spent the first 40 days at home with her (in a practice known as 'confinement'). He's described it as being "a really special time". (x) 

53. Andy is famously mild-mannered but, when asked about what triggers his 'Dad claws', he admitted that if anyone attempted to touch his daughter, without permission, he'd "probably sock them hard in the face"…

54. ...Characteristically, he went on to add that he hopes that never happens, since he hasn't been in a fight since 6th Grade (x)

55. Cyndi Lauper was his first celebrity crush and he plays her record ('She's so unusual') for his daughter all the time. (x)

56. His is the very definition of a precious laugh (x)...

57. It's made even more wonderful by the way it makes his voice go high-pitched (x)

58.  … and the way it causes his eyebrow to rise involuntarily  

59. It's impossible not to smile at his impression of his Mom (x)

60. And laugh at his impression of John Mulaney (x)

61. He was so convinced he wouldn't win the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical, that he didn't prepare a speech. Instead, as he explained to David Letterman, he "just went… and started drinking". The resulting list of improvised 'thank yous' was perfect in every way (x)

62. As producers, Andy, Kiv and Jorm have given life to some amazing projects ('Alone Together', 'Brigsby Bear', 'I Think You Should Leave')...

63. … and gone out of their way to support women in comedy ('Party Over Here', 'PEN15') (x)

64. As well as being a comedy legend, he's a super-talented dramatic actor, who gave the performance of a lifetime in 'Celeste and Jesse Forever' but, after the movie wrapped, and it was time to do press for it, he was straight back to goofing around (x) 

65. His lip bite should be illegal (x)

66. Even though he wears the same vanishingly small number of outfits, over and over, he has a vast collection of the most excellent socks (x)

67. He always gives 'editing notes' during his own interviews (x)

68. He has a super sweet and sincere way of thanking interviewers when they compliment him (x)

69. He adjusts his hoodie constantly (x)

70. The two most perfect Jake laughs in b99 are actually real Andy laughs 'https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W38A_xuXaeg https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sVm9nYrTWRQ

71. Virtually everyone who has ever worked with Andy has talked about what a wonderful person he is. This explains why so many of them have been involved with more than one of his projects (x)

72. It's not only his colleagues who talk about what a delight he is (x), (x)

73. This lovestruck fool wore his own wife's merch when he went out to dinner (x)

74. No one else uses the word 'dinky' quite like Andy (x). The same goes for 'snacky' (see point 70)

75. He does this with his tongue (x)

76. He still likes to play soccer but his eyesight is so bad that he has to keep his glasses on for it

77. When he lets his gorgeous floofy hair grow a little it sits perfectly over the arms of his glasses (x)

78. He gifted the world with Jakey's little curl (x)

79. At the James Franco Roast, he couldn't bring himself to be mean to anyone except himself (and Jeff Ross, a little!) (x)

80. In fact, he's always been willing to laugh at himself (x) and he still is (x)

81. He changes b99 scripts to make them more feminist (x)

82. Despite their humble insistence that they just benefited from 'good timing', the reality is that Andy, Kiv and Jorm (along with Chris Parnell) revolutionized digital media, when 'Lazy Sunday' popularized YouTube, increasing its traffic by 85% overnight (x)

83. He once attended the Vanity Fair party because his Mom told him to (x)

84. He has an amazing way of subtly but firmly shutting down inappropriate questions, like when this interviewer suggested that Holt being gay was something that could have been played for laughs https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=idQsYQfkR5o

85. He auditioned for SNL at the same time as Bill Hader. Hader thought he'd blown it because Andy had a bunch of props and Bill had none. In the meantime, Andy thought he'd blown it when he saw Hader and realized 'this guy doesn't need any props' (x) 

86. His bromance with Seth Meyers is one for the ages (x)

87. Every single second of this video is proof of why Andy, Kiv and Jorm deserve the world (x)

88. He once dragged Mulaney up on stage for SNL Goodnights, even though writers weren't allowed to join in (x)

89. He has a hilarious phobia of pooping anywhere except his own bathroom (x) 

90. His beautiful, beautiful, face: His smile (radiant), his eyes (caramel - hella disarming), his ears (adorably asymmetrical), his nose (perfect), His chin (the dimple… *swoon*), his jaw (could cut glass), The 'Sambeard' (another amazing layer of pretty) (x)

91. His body: His butt (x), his thighs, (x) his soft lil tummy (The ‘Sambelly’) (x), his hands. (x), his arms (x), his hips…

(Gif credit: @amystiago /@badpostandy on Twitter)

92. All signs point to the fact that, like Jake, Andy uses his glasses case as a wallet (x) 

93. Jake's "cool-cool-cool-cool-cool-cool" is an irl Andy-ism that the writers worked into b99 scripts. What's even better is that Joanna does it, too (x)

94. He has a really good arm and is low key competitive, which is super hot https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e32K_nBDy3Q

95. He's one half of the cutest Red Carpet pose of all time (x)

96. He barely ever seems to get mad but if angry Jake is anything to go by, maybe he should... (x)

97. He's a huge nerd, who geeks out over GOT, LOTR, 'Star Wars', 'Alien(s)' and anything relating to time travel (x), (x)

98. He has a gorgeous speaking voice, especially when he’s tired or a little sick. (Bonus points for any time he uses the word ‘correct’. See point 30) (x) 

99. He’s still so committed to his b99 fans and fam, even after all this time and is as excited as the rest of us that...

[d-criss-news]

Quibi might seem like the Wild West to creators. When it comes to new media, the creators who step to the front to make untested content have to build the rule book themselves. That is just what Darren Criss did with his new Quibi show, Royalties, as a creator, songwriter, and actor. Criss, known for The Assassination of Gianni Versace, Glee, Elsie Fest and several Broadway roles, debuted the ten-episode first season earlier this month.

The show follows two songwriters as they try to churn out a new hit song every week under hilarious parameters. Criss stars alongside Kether Donahue while the supporting cast boasts all-star talent including John Stamos, Georgia King, and Tony Revolori and guest stars Mark Hamill, Julianne Hough, Jennifer Coolidge, Lil Rel Howery, Rufus Wainwright, Jackie Tohn, Jordan Fisher, Bonnie McKee, and Sabrina Carpenter. The series is directed by veteran comedy director, Amy Heckerling. Each episode release is accompanied by a full music video for the comedy song contained in the episode. These include surprising earworms such as ‘Mighty as Kong,’ where Hamill sings about King Kong’s private parts.

Royalties started out as a proof of concept. Criss and his friends and co-collaborators, Matt and Nick Lang, who founded StarKid Productions with Criss, started with a ten-minute episode which would later become the basis for Episode Seven of the series. Criss was flexible about how to make the concept into a project and Quibi was interested. “We were given an opportunity to make something. It’s the way that I've always preferred to operate, especially with my collaborators from StarKid,” Criss explains. “We’ve always done it first and asked questions later. We just like making things as opposed to pitching what it could be, just make it and see if people like it and then go from there.”

Criss had wanted to make Royalties for a long time. While the show is a zany comedy, many moments feel personal, stemming from Criss’s own work as a songwriter. “My life is divided between a pretty involved career as a musician and songwriting and producing music,” Criss says. “And then the acting side, which sometimes gets connected, but it's often put in a separate box. It has way more exposure just by the nature of what it is. While the [music] side, which has equal involvement in my life, is more behind the scenes.”

Quibi has received a lot of press in the last few months. The streaming app is dedicated to short-form content. Most episodes of Quibi shows fall between seven and ten minutes and feature two different aspect ratios, vertical and horizontal. For showrunners and directors, many of the constraints of the platform are brand new. That didn’t scare Criss. “For guys like me, and I guess artists in general, my brain is kind of all over the place,” Criss says. “Time constraints and other necessities truly are the mother of invention.”

For him, working in the short format wasn’t a hindrance. “I really liked the idea of the short form thing. I think our show is strong enough to be able to exist in whatever medium we were sort of assigned to do,” he says. “You only have seven-ish minutes to tell a story. So you really start to eliminate anything that is not in service of a story or a joke. It's a good exercise. It's that classic thing about killing your darlings. You have to really make sure to focus in on what matters.”

Long time fans of StarKid will immediately see its influence on Royalties. “StarKid is a huge bedrock of my background as a creative,” Criss says. The Langs are a big part of that. “I mean, this whole thing [Royalties] was created and built and bred by me and my two buddies. We've been making stuff for years together,” he says of the Lang brothers. “I was never going to make this show without the Lang brothers; they were always going to be who I wanted. And for StarKid fans that really know our company, the whole show is littered with a lot of StarKid performers. That was always going to happen.”

As a creator, Criss felt like Quibi made sense as a platform. “They are a creator-based company that really just want to support their creatives,” he explains. “They're not a studio, they are an acquisition company, they're a platform. So their business model was appealing.”  

While the show was a labor of love, its production tested the ever-busy Criss. “I pride myself on multitasking,” he says. “I was definitely the most tested I'd ever been as a multitasker; I always say I'm crazy, but I'm not insane.” Part of the issue was the production of Royalties overlapped with Criss’s work on the Netflix Original Hollywood in which he is an actor and executive producer. Production got crazy for Criss with days that included mornings on the set of Hollywood then rushing over to the Valley to shoot music videos and changing facial hair back and forth for costumes. “There was a point where I was in post-production for Royalties editing music videos in a sprinter van that was on set of where I was shooting Hollywood,” he recalls. “I would be shooting a scene on Hollywood, and then I would go into the van and edit for however many minutes and then go back to shooting a scene.”  

Even with all the crazy scheduling, he admits, “It was, a pretty insane old time. I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it.” For Royalties, time was always against the team. “I want to say we had less than 10 days to prep a show that we had to shoot within just a few weeks, a show that we hadn't even gotten fully cast yet, a show that I had to write 10 songs in 10 days to get those produced.” On top of that, they were learning a new platform. “You can look at it as it's very scary because you have no sort of guiding North Star,” he says. “but on the other hand, it's cool because anything goes. We said ‘let's do our best and do what we like and then figure it out later which is my consistent ethos with creating things.”

Despite the stress of production, the final result doesn’t show it. The show is nothing if not endearing. “I think there's no faster way to people's hearts, then the sort of party trick of music and song,” Criss explains. “You can really get into people's hearts and minds through music in a way that just you can't do any other way. I think the close second to that is humor. So when you can combine the two I think you just have kind of like a super cocktail of endearment ability… Music and comedy are inextricably linked.”

For both longtime fans of Criss’s work and early adopters to Quibi, Royalties serves as an example of what a dedicated and close-knit team can create.

[pass-the-bechdel]

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Black Panther (2018)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

Yes, nine times.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Six (40% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Nine.

Positive Content Rating:

Three (though it’s worth reminding that this rating is based on the positivity of the content in relation to the female characters, not in general - there’s some real top-shelf content in here, otherwise. Still a very happy three for the ladies anyway, for that matter).

General Film Quality:

High-end. The commitment to nuanced storytelling is impeccable, grappling with all angles of a complex hypothetical far better than could have been anticipated. This is a movie which never loses sight of its own importance, while also never getting too bogged down in it to be entertaining. Earns every ounce of the hype.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Nakia gives her condolences to the Queen Mother. The Queen chastises Shuri. Nakia compliments Okoye’s wig. Nakia negotiates entrance to the club with Sophia. Nakia and Okoye conflict over loyalties. Nakia passes with the Queen Mother after Killmonger takes over, twice. Shuri and Nakia go into battle. They pass together later.

Female characters:

Okoye.

Nakia.

The Queen Mother (technically not a name, but I’m allowing it as a title).

Shuri.

Sophia.

Ayo.

Male characters:

Erik ‘Killmoger’ Stevens/N’Jadaka.

N’Jobu.

Zuri.

T’Chaka.

T’Challa.

Ulysses Klaue.

M’Baku.

W’Kabi.

Everett Ross.

OTHER NOTES:

I’m not sure if T’Challa ruining Nakia’s anti-HUMAN TRAFFICKING mission because he wants her around for emotional support is a very endearing intro for his character in this film...I mean, sure, they rescue the people in the convoy, but presumably there was more to the mission (otherwise Nakia wouldn’t complain that it was ruined), and T’Challa prioritises his feelings over both Nakia’s work, and the lives of all the people it effects. Coulda avoided the negative implications there with just a little fine-tuning in the dialogue.

“Nah, I’m just feelin’ it.” Michael B Jordan has such a great energy about him; he’s very, very convincing, in a role which could have broken the film if it were poorly cast.

But you know what? I fucking LOVE M’Baku, he’s my personal fave for the movie. That presence. This is an excruciatingly well-cast film (among other virtues).

I’m Hella into that Lion King vibe when communing with the spirit realm, too.

Erik shoots his unnamed girlfriend for nothing more than the drama of it, and that is not one of this film’s virtues.

Shuri calling Ross ‘coloniser’ is just...so good. There’s a lot about this film that is a reclamation, in big and obvious in-text ways, but there are also these kinds of little impactful choices which contextualise Wakanda’s relationship to the world and its history, and that kind of detailing is the difference between posturing, and playing for real.

The music in this movie? Also great. Traditional African and modern African-American, representing the interweave of themes and ideologies in-story? Fucking gold. They did not skimp on details in putting this movie together with intelligent design, and I am Hella into it.

M’Baku just fucking BARKING at Ross when he dares speak before him is the highlight of the whole film. It’s perfect. 

A friend of mine has suggested that there must be a missing scene or two in this movie, wherein the Queen Mother convinces M’Baku to go into battle after all, since as-is he just kinda...changes his mind off-screen and she serves no narrative purpose at all. It’s unfortunate such a linking scene is missing, as it would have significantly enhanced both characters and helped to emotionally underpin the final act of the film, which is comparatively weak. 

But anyway, M’Baku is my best dude in this movie. I love a huge man in a grass skirt.

The whole idea that W’Kabi and Okoye have a relationship at all is kinda nonexistent; we wouldn’t know about it at all if she hadn’t called him ‘my love’ that one time. Coulda beefed that up better, i.e. at all.

“Bury me in the ocean, with my ancestors that jumped from the ships, because they knew that death was better than bondage.” Michael B Jordan delivered every aspect of this character with such raw power and sincerity, y’all. He hits it straight home.

It goes without saying that there was a lot of pressure for this film to be good: a big-budget superhero action movie, part of the most lucrative cinema franchise in the world right now, taking on an afro-futuristic setting with an almost exclusively black cast? The potential for Black Panther to come off as little more than lip service paid to representation, ‘too PC’, lacking the guts to acknowledge the breadth of the racism that inevitably informs it, perhaps even falling dangerously toward racist cliches of its own...there is no other film of its kind, and as such, Black Panther could not escape being judged as more than an individual story on its own, as a representation of an entire continent’s worth of people and culture and what they could bring to an industry which has made an aggressive point of shutting them out in the past. The pressure was well and truly on to provide not only financial success put also critical acclaim, and boy oh boy, did they rise to the occasion or what?

The centrepiece of Black Panther’s success is Michael B Jordan as Erik Killmonger, striking a precise balance between the heat of well-deserved fury, and the chilling calculation of his revenge. Killmonger’s rhetoric is compelling, and it is the meeting point of the film’s threads, of Wakandan tradition, of the country’s privilege in the midst of colonial oppression and the dire morality of its secrecy, of the call of the wider world and the determining of one’s place within it. It’s vitally important that Killmonger makes sense, right up until he doesn’t - a good villain should always feel like someone you could almost follow, if only they weren’t taking things that one step too far - narratively, this is in an important pitch, but it’s also vital for the context of the viewing audience, the acknowledgement and the validation of that rage at injustice (without which, the film would come off as pandering to white guilt), but without the promotion of violent eye-for-an-eye solutions. Killmonger’s anger is never condemned, only the actions he perpetrates in the name of that anger; the viewer is forced to acknowledge the reality that made Killmonger what he is, but without being encouraged to forgive; only to understand.

I am hardly the first to observe that it is Nakia, not T’Challa, who represents the foil to Killmonger’s ideology, recognising and stirring to action at the injustice’s wrought upon the African people, but seeing in Wakanda the potential to offer unprecedented assistance rather than the opportunity for the oppressed to become the oppressor. The film is populated with character counter-balances, and it validates each perspective (while also illuminating shortcomings) to enhance the overall narrative, rather than equivocating too strenuously to make any point; Nakia values people like Okoye values her country, and while Nakia is right that blind patriotism fails the country if it allows tyranny, the strength of Okoye’s conviction is exactly what inspires the loyalty of those who follow her in the protection of Wakandan values; while Shuri ‘scoffs at tradition’ and leans entirely on the unending machine of technological progress, M’Baku and his people are safeguarding traditional practices and keeping ancient knowledge alive, which saves T’Challa when there’s no tech around - by the same token, without the protective blanket of technological progress, the Jabari would not be free to live as they do. There is good sense in the perspective which every character brings, and all of them are required in symbiosis to achieve a full picture of cultural identity. 

In that broad conversation of identity and place in the world, if there’s one weak link, it’s the Black Panther himself, T’Challa. Not that he’s a weak character or that Chadwick Boseman is a weak actor - it’s just that he’s being thoroughly outplayed by all around him. It’s a good thing in regards to how well-cast the movie is and how it fleshes out its supporting players (in spite of the missing pieces pointed out in the notes above); in an overall-lesser film, the lead being the least compelling character - and especially with such a powerfully-constructed antagonist opposite him - could be a crippling flaw, but as-is Black Panther is pulling out enough stops to get away with having an under-sold Black Panther at its head. That, really, is a testament to the power of the story, and the work being done by everyone involved to tell the tale with tact, with dynamism, with all the colour and flavour the white-washed film industry has been denying all this time. We could talk about its flaws, sure, but there doesn’t seem to be much point - none of them are fatal, none are even particularly egregious, and the achievements of the movie far outweigh any quality blips along the way. Black Panther is a measured, sensitive triumph, and there’s a part of me that - in the best of ways - almost forgets that I’m watching a Marvel movie, a cash-grab - sure, they want to make money out of it, but this feels above all like a passion project. Passion like this, so fully-realised, I am not inclined to fault.

[alexsbrain]

Ocean’s 8

    The other night my brother and I went to the Carlton in Toronto to catch Ocean’s 8. I had stayed away from the film for a few weeks, I’d caught a few review headlines since it opened, dud, fizzled out, and franchise fatigue had cropped up a few times. When I first saw the publicity still last year, of all the women on the subway, I was amazed that a bunch of my favourite actresses, comedians, and pop singer (Rhianna) were all doing a film together and I put it on my list. I was pleasantly surprised by Ocean’s’8, it was a lot quirkier and funnier than I thought it would be, and occasionally I had to wipe away a tear from laughing.

Early publicity still

    The film follows the standard heist format pioneered by post war noir filmmakers. The star, Sandra Bullock, plays Debbie Ocean (Danny Ocean’s sister), and after hatching a scheme in prison for, “five years, eight months, and twelve days,” is released and has to put together a crack-pot team in order to steal a Cartier necklace worth over a hundred-million dollars. There are the typical vignettes of Ocean assembling her team, there’s her former partner turned nightclub owner (Cate Blanchette), the hacker 9-ball (Rihanna), a kleptomaniacal fence (Sarah Paulson), the jewelry expert (Mandy Kaling), the down and out fashion designer (Helena Bonham Carter), and the street wise pick pocket (Awkwafina). Together they execute Ocean’s daring plan to steal the necklace at the Met Gala. There are a few twists and turns in the plot which brings in an insurance agent from England, played by James Corden, to find the jewels. The audience is brought into the action through a series of well timed gags and hair-raising moments of suspense.

Hathaway and Bonham Carter at the Met Gala

    I’m a huge fan of heist films, there’s something about the sub-genre that appeals to me. Going all the way back to the Noir heists The Asphalt Jungle, and the French film Rafifi, I’m a sucker for a group of criminals trying to make one last big score. I wasn’t however a huge fan of the original Ocean movies, nor of the Soderbergh reboot. Which is why I was pleasantly surprised that this installment was so good and incredibly funny. It felt like I was watching an old comedy with Carol Lombard or Rosalind Russell, the comedic power of some of these actresses shines through in almost every scene. Helena Bonham Carter has some of the best reactions I’ve seen in years, her subtle head and eye movements executed just at the right time cracked me up, she wears a puzzled look on her face for most of the film which is incredibly endearing. Bonham Carter, being the veteran English actor of the bunch, even knows how to get all the mileage out of a costume during the Met gala, as she moves about in a bizarre outfit in such a way that makes it hilarious. She’s even poking fun at herself as she has been known for some odd fashion choices over the years at red carpet events. Sarah Paulson is very reserved but incredibly funny, her character, a waspy housewife, always seems to be on the brink of loosing her cool façade (she never does), and it’s fascinating to watch her play a mother role in a heist film. Some of her jokes were visual gags that were set up beautifully. The young Awkwafina gets most of the laughs as the street wise hustler, her role had the most potential for comedy, and she relishes every single moment she is on screen. She knows exactly when to hold a joke, letting in linger in the air, something most comedians don’t understand today. It’s not that you have to be funny all the time, it’s that you have to understand the rhythm of a joke. There’s a touch of Leslie Neilson or Bea Arthur in her comedic pauses.

Awkwafina as Constance shines

     Anne Hathaway steals some of the show as the vapid gum chewing movie star Daphne Kluger. Her timing is incredibly precise, she uses her gum chewing and big beautiful eyes to really sell her jokes, chewing on her pauses and delivering her lines with surgical precision. I think Hathaway needs to do more comedy outside of the schlocky rom-com type of humour that is ill fitting for her and reboot some the old Carol Lombard type plots that are entirely missing from cinema today.

    What was surprisingly nice was that the two headliners, Sandra Bullock and Cate Blanchette, never once took the spotlight away from someone else. They played their roles effectively and knew how to share the stage with the supporting cast allowing each of the others to grab some laughs and shine in their roles. If anything, the film was missing one good fight between Bullock and Blanchette. It would have been nice to add just a little tension between the two characters early on in the film, the should we do this scene was flat and self aggrandizing in their sisterly bond.

    Ocean’s 8 was co-written and directed by Gary Ross who’s resume includes Big, Pleasantville, and Mr. Baseball (one of my favorite cinematic guilty pleasures). He knows exactly how to set up a joke or a gag and executes it beautifully. What I found interesting is that most of the audience didn’t laugh at some of the funniest moments in the film. It seemed my brother and I, and a group of friends behind us, were the only ones who got the subtle jokes. I think one of the problems is that audiences today aren’t used to the subtly of reactions and visual gags. My favourite moment in the film is when Sarah Paulson’s character is introduced. She is living in the idyll of suburban America and making a healthy green smoothie when Debbie Ocean calls her, her son playing in the background. Answering the phone, she says, “Buddy do you want to stop that,” the threat is implied. Debbie tells her she’s in her garage and when Paulson walks into her garage there are boxes and boxes of stolen goods. It’s such a wonderful joke, that here in this perfect suburban house lies a kleptomaniacal fence. When Debbie asks her what she tells her husband about all the stolen goods Paulson replies dryly and at just the right moment, “eBay,” I couldn’t help but crack up at her delivery.

The perfect life, the perfect house, a life of crime

    The other problem plaguing the film is it’s underwhelmingly simplistic visual style. The camera moves and cuts competently enough, but the whole style is reminiscent of a de-contrasted Instagram photo or a mediocre Tumblr mood board. It’s a problem shared with a lot of commercial films these days, lackluster shadow-less vistas of muted colours that lacks any texture or depth. One thing that made last years The Florida Project so appealing was its rich palette and crisp composition, great care was taken at figuring out the mise-en-scène. It’s disappointing that the Ocean’s films, being reboots of the iconic 60’s jet set era, don’t devote more effort to their visual look. There was one sequence in a post-modern airport for a fashion show, and the occasional horizontal venetian blind wipe, but aside from that, the film looks like some washed out mediocre miniseries on the FX channel.

Strong composition, but the lackluster, and washed-out lighting renders the style bland

    Ocean’s 8 isn’t pretentious or hokey, it’s just an all female version of a heist film with some incredibly talented actresses. Checking over the box office receipts, the film is doing incredibly well this summer, and along with the Black Panther, is proving to the Hollywood establishment that you can deliver a great product with an all female cast, or a cast of people of colour, or on queer themes, and still turn a tidy sum. People want to watch a good product and they want to see themselves in the characters on the screen. Aside from a few missed opportunities to set this film apart from its predecessors, it’s a fun diversion this summer. If you’re a fan of good comedic pacing, or of any of the actresses, it’s worth the price of admission.

[ethenell]

Best Films of 2017, Part I

10. Get Out (dir. Jordan Peele)

“... Now sink into the floor.”

Making the jump from sketch comedy to the big screen is a transition fraught with creative peril. The list of those who have tried and failed to navigate its intricacies is a list filled with a lot of talented people, and we can rest assured that not a one of them decided to cut their directorial teeth on a project as impossibly ambitious as a pseudo-satirical horror film that takes on racism in American society. But where so many others have failed, Jordan Peele has succeeded brilliantly, kicking off his directorial career with the latest in a growing string of Sundance-premiered, subtext-heavy horror masterpieces.

Blatantly confrontational in all the best ways, that Get Out emerged from the major studio ecosystem is a minor miracle in some senses, but really is a testament to the strength of Peele’s razor-sharp (and now, Oscar-winning) original script. Taking aim at the casual, insidious racism of liberal white America, Peele meticulously picks apart the ways that African American work and creativity is systemically marginalized, colonized, and exploited. The film’s pointed symbolism and fearless direction make it a frequently discomfiting watch, but Get Out is all the more essential for it. Jordan Peele is not here to comfort his white audience, he’s here to wake us the fuck up.

Despite it’s satirical underpinnings, Get Out is a horror film, through-and-through, and its brilliance lies in large part with its keen ability to indulge its more outlandish horror inclinations right up to the tipping point from horror to satire. Peele flirts with that line brilliantly, getting every last bit of mileage out of each genre conceit that he either exploits or subverts, before snapping us back into perspective with one simple reminder: if you think this is a joke, you’re missing the point ...

*Cough* Golden Globes ... *Cough* *Cough*

9. War for the Planet of the Apes (dir. Matt Reeves)

“Apes together strong.”

Looking back on the original Charlton Heston epic, it’s not exactly plain to see where Matt Reeves drew inspiration for his utterly brilliant Planet of the Apes reboot trilogy. Despite its esteemed status in the sci-fi pantheon, the original views now as little more than a campy 70s genre flick with an interesting premise and a great final twist. But from those bones (and conveniently ignoring an ill-advised early 2000’s remake) Reeves has crafted a franchise masterpiece. An unprecedented hybrid of muscular action filmmaking and art-house drama, and deftly borrowing elements of silent film, it’s difficult to overstate just how impressive the entire Planet of the Apes trilogy is. However, it’s final installment, War for the Planet of the Apes, stands as it’s greatest entry – a sweeping epic built with an uncanny feel for grandiose spectacle and an unmatched command of the jaw-dropping technical wizardry that makes its central performance possible.

Andy Serkis’ groundbreaking motion capture performance as Caesar, leader of the titular apes, is the film’s true foundation. You could make a convincing argument that Andy Serkis’ Caesar is the greatest hero of 21st century genre filmmaking, but it’s status as a monumental achievement in the marriage of acting craft and filmmaking technology is frankly unquestionable. That Serkis’ performance has been all but forgotten by major awards bodies throughout this remarkable three-film run will not be remembered kindly in the annals of film history – this performance is the stuff film history is made of. Reeves stages one brilliant, sprawling action set-piece after another, and the uncanny physicality of Serkis’ performance injects them with the dose of emotional resonance that elevates it well above traditional summer blockbuster fare. Honestly, filmmaking of this scale has rarely been better.

8. The Shape of Water (dir. Guillermo del Toro)

“When he looks at me, he does not know what I lack, or how I am incomplete … He sees me for what I am, as I am.”

The Shape of Water is everything you could want from a Guillermo del Toro film – fantastical, brutal, and ultimately hopeful; a beautiful modernist fairy tale with a definite moral compass. Del Toro himself has described The Shape of Water as his favorite film that he has ever made, and it’s easy to see why he’s so infatuated. A meditation on the lives of outsiders and the ways that love pushes across boundaries of convention, del Toro’s sincere affection for the characters onscreen is clear throughout, with each new wave of its strangely rapturous romance lending new evidence to the greatness that del Toro has so lovingly crafted.

A testament to his sterling reputation, del Toro assembled one of the year’s best casts to bring his sweeping vision to life. Octavia Spencer, Richard Jenkins, and Michael Shannon are all impressive in their supporting turns, but make no mistake, this film belongs to Sally Hawkins. She turns in career-best work as a mute janitor at a secure government facility who forms a deep connection with an amphibious creature imprisoned there. Hawkins conveys more in a glance than an average performance can do with an entire script’s worth of dialogue. If there’s a better performance that’s been committed to film this year, I’ve yet to see it …

Guillermo del Toro is one of cinema’s most unique voices, and The Shape of Water is the kind of film only he could make. It moves in the span of a breath from bracing violence to endearing whimsy to magical sensuality. In the hands of another, it could easily have been ludicrous, but with del Toro’s otherworldly creativity, it’s simply lovely.

7. I, Tonya (dir. Craig Gillespie)

“There's no such thing as truth. It's bullshit. Everyone has their own truth, and life just does whatever the fuck it wants.”

Tonya Harding is one of the most infamous figures in American sports history, having been implicated in a plot to attack her biggest rival to improve her chances of making the Olympic figure skating team. Hers is a story stranger than fiction, and the electric biopic I, Tonya brings it to the big screen in  all of it’s bizarre glory. Far from a household name, despite having an award-winning indie (the stellar Lars and the Real Girl) and two warmly received major-studio pics under his belt, I, Tonya is director Craig Gillespie’s most dynamic film to date. Leaning into the scripts more out-of-the-box tendencies, Gillespie has made the most batshit biopic since Todd Haynes’ kaleidoscopic Bob Dylan exploration, I’m Not There. He breaks all the rules, and a lot of it has no business working. But work it does - a directorial feat for which Gillespie has not been properly recognized.

But without Margot Robbie’s electrifying lead performance, it all may have been for naught. Robbie is quickly claiming her place as one of her generation’s finest actresses, and her embodiment of Harding as a tragicomic figure undone by her own inability to accept responsibility is nothing short of fantastic. Robbie’s Harding is an internal battle between the fierce competitor and battered victim, and highlights the ways in which those dual realities eventually were inextricably interwoven. It’s impressive work that walks the tough line of bringing a publicly reviled figure a bit of deserved sympathy - but not too much.

The film sets out to contextualize Harding’s public life, grounding everything that leads up to “the incident” in the abusive nature of her home life, but never going so far as to excuse Harding entirely. The film’s brilliant fourth-wall-breaking narration - pulled form real-life interviews with Harding, her ex-husband (Sebastian Stan), and her mother (a brilliantly caustic Allison Janney) -  serves to highlight how frequently their accounts of the Kerrigan attack clash not only with each other’s, but with the plain reality of the situation. It’s a conceit that consistently sticks the landing, one darkly comedic beat after another, and makes for one of the most purely engrossing films of the year.

6. The Florida Project (dir. Sean Baker)

“You know why this is my favorite tree?

Why?

Because it’s tipped over and it’s still growing.”

Sean Baker made serious waves at Sundance with his debut feature Tangerine. Not only did the film feature mostly non-professional actors, but Baker shot the whole thing on his iPhone – no small feat for a film deemed worthy of the biggest indie film festival in the world. Baker shrewdly leveraged that success into a budget that afforded him the use of an actual crew. While adapting his on-the-fly style to the inherent inertia of a larger on-set footprint wasn’t always smooth, the results of his efforts are undeniably superb. His sophomore effort, The Florida Project, is fresh independent filmmaking of the highest order.

Once again employing mostly first-time professional actors – with the notable exception of Willem Dafoe, who effortlessly turns in one of the finest supporting performances of the year – Baker endeavors to tell a story that’s built from bits and fragments of real-life that he’s simply lucky enough to observe.  What he sees pits the desperation of poverty against the buoyant idealism of childhood. The innate optimism of its child characters stands constantly at odds with the increasingly grim realities with which the adults in their orbit try (and often fail) to grapple. Few films can so deftly play as gritty realism and buoyant fantasy at once, but The Florida Project walks the line with tragic grace.

Now two-for-two, Baker is positioning himself alongside the likes of Andrea Arnold as a master of the realist style, with a keen eye for drawing pathos out of the real lives of those living in societies margins. Much of what you see on the screen may seem like little more than a snapshot, but it takes a special artist to paint such a vibrant portrait of a segment of American society that many would prefer to ignore. Very few filmmakers in the world could make a film anything like this one, and it’s entirely possible none of them could have made one this beautifully compassionate.  

[mysme-messu]

You Are the One That I Love

My first time into fanfic part of the MM fandom, I’m new to this so please be nice to me :)

Synopsis: She thought they were getting closer.

She thought he returned the feelings she had when he shared about his past, when he confided to her about his negative thoughts, when he talked about his weaknesses.

All those endearments, those shared moments, those touches.

Maybe she was the only one who thought that way.

He makes that pretty clear when he offers to set her up with his co-star.

Genres: Angst, Fluff, Hurt & Comfort

Pairings: Zen x MC | Saeran x MC

You can also read it here

Chapter 1:

It’d been a year since she’d joined the RFA, with 5 successful parties behind her.

Saeran was in a good place with everyone’s help, Jaehee opened her own coffee shop, Yoosung finally began to work hard for his dream as a vet, Jumin and his father had talked things through, getting to a point where both men understood each other’s point of view. And Zen. He was becoming a well sought out actor, known for his acting, not just because of his pretty face.

Everyone was happy and she was.

Seven had become her best friend, with Jaehee coming a close second, after the long period of time they had spent together helping Saeran transition back into somewhat normality. She began working as one of Jumin’s secretaries now that Jaehee had quit, only focusing on the cat projects Jumin was intent on doing.

She was too, but she wanted more. She wanted romance, a man to love her the way her parents loved each other.

She pushes that away and bangs at Seven’s door, trying to get one of the Choi brother’s attention, at least enough for them to open up the door or tell her the Arabic translation for Honey Buddah Chips.

Seven laughs at the exasperation on her face once she drops groceries on the kitchen counter. “You never learn.”

“I’d prefer not to carry around a Arabic dictionary with me, thank you very much,” she quips back.

“MC, how could you say that! What if an Arabic man suddenly approaches you and offers to give you 10 million dollars if you could translate a word for him?” Seven prods. “Imagine all  Honey Buddah Chips you could buy!”

Saeran rolls his eyes from his spot on the sofa. “I’ll take the chance of that never happening.”

She leans forward and grins at Saeran. “Agreed.”

Seven puts a hand to his chest in a dramatic fashion. “You two wound me! How will I ever survive the bullying?”

She giggles while Saeran picks up a cushion and flings it at his brother.

Seven dodges and leaps towards Saeran, probably for a hug or revenge. One could never really predict Seven’s actions.

Saeran gets up from his seat calmly and easily sidestepping Seven and heads towards her. He settles himself on the kitchen stools across the kitchen counter.  “I want to have curry for dinner.”

She peeks through the ingredients in the fridge and nods. “I think we have enough ingredients for that.”

Saeran flashes her a small grin and they all slip into an easy routine.

She yells for Saeyoung to finish his work or suffer the wrath of Vanderwood. She cooks while Saeran watches her cook, occasionally bantering with his brother.

It’s comfortable, but in the end, it still feels like she’s missing something.

She knows what it is but she doesn’t want to admit it outloud because if she did, everything she loved would fall apart at the seams.

“Yoosung would not be happy to hear you call him a little birdy.” She tries to move the subject away from what she knew was Seven’s endless ribbing.

Seven chuckles. “You aren’t getting out of this, missy.”

She shrugs. “He invited me, like he invited all of you, but I’m the only one who was free, so at least someone from the RFA should go support him.”

“God knows Jaehee does that enough for all of us.” Saeran mutters.

She hides a giggle behind a spoonful of rice.

Just as Seven opens his mouth to say something, her phone begins to ring. Without a doubt it’s it’s Zen, she knows from the special ringtone she’d set for him since ages ago.

She gives both brothers a smile and heads towards the further corner of the house.

“Hello, lovely Zen.” She chirps into the phone.

“Hello MC, have you eaten?” It was just like him to worry about her like this.

“I have.”

“Good girl, I’m glad you did.” His voice is gentle and she wishes she could see him, just a little. “I just wanted to hear your voice before I get back to practice. I can’t disappoint my honey when she comes to watch my show.”

She giggles. “I would never be disappointed. I know how hard you worked and how much effort you put into properly portraying your character.”

“Thank you for saying this. You always say the right words and make me feel so good.” She hears something akin to a smooching sound against her ear. “A kiss for you, babe.”

She mimics the sound of a kiss. “One for you too, Zenny.”

“I think I just got shot!” Zen’s voice rings out dramatically. “I’m in critical condition. I need more of MC’s kisses!”

She let’s out another giggle. “Zenny, you should take a rest and take care of your own body.”

“I will, sweetie.” In a more rushed tone, Zen continues to speak. “I have to go know, practice is starting again. I’ll talk to you later, MC.”

She hangs up and heads back towards the dinner table, where Seven is smirking at her while Saeran looks mildly curious.

“Want to go to the aquarium this week?” she asks quickly before either of them could ask about her call.

Seven quickly latches onto the idea and Saeran reluctantly agrees to go, only if they could have ice cream afterwards.

They spend the rest of the evening discussing about their trip to the aquarium, but Zen lingers at the back of her mind for the rest of the night.

Zen’s attention snaps to her and he quickly rushes towards her with a big smile on his face. “MC! Did you come see me?”

She nods and hands him the boxed lunch. “I made lunch for you. You mentioned barely having time for lunch since the opening is coming up, so I thought it would be a good idea to bring you lunch again. I hope it’s no bother to you.”

“Dang Zen!” A man with messy brown hair comes to a stand beside them. “You sure are lucky to have your beautiful girlfriend come and bring you homemade food while the rest of us survive on take out.”

“Hands off, Jung Wook.” Zen pushes at the other man’s hand that had snaked onto her shoulder sometime as they talked. “She’s my friend, not my girlfriend.”

That stung a little, to hear it so straight forward. It wasn’t Zen’s fault but she wanted to blame him for her heart constricting painfully at the rejection.

Jung Wook thrusted a hand towards her. “I’m Han Jung Wook.”

“I’m MC.” She takes Jung Wook’s hand in her own.

“Oh! MC? Zen talks about you all the time, you can practically see the silly grin he has on his face every time he finishes talking to you on the phone.”

Someone calls out to Zen before she can say anything further.

Zen groans but gives the woman a nod. “Wook, mind taking care of her for me for a while?”

Jung Wook nods and Zen turns to her with concern in his eyes. “I’m sorry, I’ll be back as soon as I can so I can have the delicious lunch my honey made.”

Zen hurries towards the woman with a stern face as she turns back to Jung Wook. “If you would like, I made some extra food, so please feel free to have some if you’d like.”

Jung Wook grins at her. “I would love to.”

He leads her over to a table at the side of the room.

“Are you allergic to anything?” she asks carefully. Imagine the catastrophe if she accidentally poisoned one of Zen’s co-workers, especially so close to opening night.

Jung Wook shakes his head. “Nope, unlike Zen I’m not allergic to anything, not even cats.”

They both laugh as Jung Wook tells her about the time Zen had spent half the interview holding back sneezes because the interviewer had cat fur stuck to his suit.

She giggles a little harder when he shows him the photo he’d taken of Zen, mid-sneeze.

“What did you say to make my honey laugh so hard?” Zen asks when he takes a seat beside her.

“It’s a secret.” Jung Wook winks at her and maybe she just imagined it, but she sees Zen stiffen from the corner of her eye.

It’s gone the moment she blinks and Zen is back to his charming persona. “Thanks for taking care of MC for me Wook, the director was looking for you.”  

“It was nice meeting you MC, I hope I’ll see you again soon.” Jung Wook says with another smile.

“It was nice to meet you too, Jung Wook, maybe we will see each other on opening night.” She returns the smile easily.

Jung Wook looks like he has something else to say but he changes his mind and gives them both a smile before he heads off.

“You even made my favourite!” He oohs and ahhs over the food she’d prepared for him. He picks up his chopsticks and takes a bite. “I missed the food you made, babe.”

She grins back at him. “I’m glad you like it.”

He picks up a mouthful of salad and holds it towards her. “Open up.”

She obediently does as she’s told, hoping that it’s dim enough that he doesn’t notice the blush on her face.

She chews as he continues to shovel food, gracefully, into his mouth.

He continues to feed her from time to time as she tells him about her week and one of the pickier guests.

Soon, the food is gone and it’s time for her to leave and him to continue practice.

She doesn’t want to leave, she wants to stay and watch him practice but she knows she ought to go. She stays till the last possible moment, until she feels her phone vibrating in her pocket, probably driver Kim wondering why she wasn’t there where he was supposed to pick her up.

With a hurried goodbye, she makes her way back to the office.

Opening day approaches in a flash.

“Zen,” she says softly to get his attention. His ruby red eyes snap towards her, all it’s intensity and focus singularly on her. She grips his hands in hers. “You’ll be amazing up on stage. I’ll be watching you. I, who spent days and days rehearsing this script with you. I, who know how hard you’ve worked for today. No matter what anyone says, you’re amazing. You’re the man who caused thousands of fans to end up wearing glasses because they were so caught up watching your DVDs.”  

“That’s right.” Zen gives her hand a squeeze. “You really know how to make people happy MC. I’m really glad that you came to support me, babe.”

She let’s out a little squeak when Zen pulls her into a hug. She returns the gesture and wraps her arms around him, revelling in his strong arms and tall frame, feeling a sense of security rush through her.

“Break a leg, Zenny. I’ll be out in the audience supporting you.” She breaks from the hug, albeit unwillingly, and heads towards her seat.

She heads towards Zen’s waiting room to see him with a goofy smile on his face.

After everyone congratulates him for a successful opening night, they finally get a minute alone.

He wraps her in another hug and all she can do is pray that he can’t hear the rapid thumps of her heart.

He takes the bouquet of flowers from her hands gratefully. “I’m really grateful to have you here, supporting me, MC.”

“Of course I’d be here,” she says so matter of factly. “Where else would I be?”

“Let’s take a selfie.” Zen suddenly suggests. “I want to show the rest of the RFA what they missed out on, especially that jerk.”

She giggles and oblige until Zen gets a ‘perfect’ photo of the two of them.

They head towards dinner with some of the cast.

Jung Wook waves them over as soon as they enter the restaurant. “Over here!”

Zen guides her towards the table, a hand on the small of her back. She recognizes a few actors and actresses she’s seen in Zen’s previous plays at the table. They give her smiles or nods of acknowledgment.

Always the gentleman, Zen pulls back her chair and gestures for her to take a seat.

Once again, she hopes no one notices the blush on her cheeks.

Zen slip into conversation about the play with the others at the table, always making sure she’s involved and comfortable.

She likes seeing this part of Zen, it’s something she doesn’t get to see on a daily basis.

Maybe it was because she was so enthralled, she doesn’t realize Jung Wook trying to get her attention.

When he touches her shoulder, it jerks her back to attention.

“Sorry.” There’s a somewhat sheepish look on Jung Wook’s face. “Did I scare you, MC?”

She shakes her head. “No, please don’t apologize, Jung Wook. I was the one who zoned out.”

“If you feel comfortable, feel free to call me Wook.” The brown haired man offers easily. “Everyone does.”

She nods. “Thank you, Wook.”

“MC,” Jung Wook begins. “Can I ask you-”

“MC! Look, they have the red velvet cake with the cream cheese icing you like.” Zen’s voice pulls her attention away and she turns back towards him, forgetting about Jung Wook.

It’s only later, when Zen is taking her home, she remembers her conversation with Jung Wook before Zen cut in.

Did Zen do that on purpose?

[briangroth27]

Stranger Things 2 Review

Stranger Things’ second season went up on Netflix last weekend and I loved it! Every episode felt full, many supporting characters from Season 1 got a turn in the spotlight, and the tone recaptured the first season’s perfect blend of dread and comedic moments that endeared me to the realistically-drawn characters. This was the television season I was looking forward to most this fall, and it did not disappoint!

Full Spoilers…

I really liked that Dustin (Gaten Matarazzo), Lucas (Caleb McLaughlin), and especially Will (Noah Schnapp) got to take center stage among the kids; it was smart to flesh out the rest of the central ensemble and it feels like we’ll be going into Season 3 with everyone on relatively equal footing development-wise. In particular, Will being absent for much of Season 1 made his time in the spotlight a crucial gamble that paid off in spades: Schnapp is just as great an actor as the rest of the show’s cast! That said, I missed Mike (Finn Wolfhard), Nancy (Natalia Dyer), and Jonathan (Charlie Heaton), who all felt like they had less screentime this year than last. While the latter two weren’t doing nothing—they had a crucial subplot that felt like the natural outgrowth of how the people of Hawkins ignored Barb’s (Shannon Purser) death—it didn’t require them to do much that we needed to see onscreen, so it felt like they vanished a bit. Perhaps Wolfhard, Dyer, and Heaton had other commitments while Season 2 was in production, but if that’s the case, I wish their plots had been more economical to cover more ground in the same amount of screentime.

Season 2 definitely felt like the natural continuation of Season 1’s events; branding this as Stranger Things 2 instead of Stranger Things Season 2 gives the impression that it’s a sequel instead of the next season in a TV series, and it definitely feels like it. I’ve seen some criticisms that said the joy of discovery wasn’t present this year like last season, but I’m willing to part with it in favor of reuniting with familiar friends on a new adventure. I like sequels and I’m always game for more time with characters I like. Though the threads may not have been as balanced as they could’ve been, I liked that everyone got to go off on their own adventures before reuniting in the climax. Mixing up the character interactions and moving new people into the spotlight provided some great fresh pairings, like Lucas/Max (Sadie Sink), Dustin/Steve (Joe Keery), Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown)/Hopper (David Harbour), and Will/Joyce (Winona Ryder)/Bob (Sean Astin). As nice as it was to see familiar locations like the junkyard come into play again, it’s time to flesh out more of Hawkins’ geography, as it’s starting to feel a little claustrophobic. New locations like the arcade definitely help, though. I loved that the Upside Down was creeping into Hawkins at an accelerated rate, creating some great imagery with the rotted pumpkin patches, decaying forests, and vine-covered tunnels just beneath its surface. Hawkins looks like the quintessential 1980s Hometown, USA, so corrupting it like this is great symbolism. However, I would’ve liked a greater exploration of the townspeople’s inhumanity and grime just below the veneer of wholesomeness the town projects. So much of Stranger Things is inspired by Stephen King as it is—the Duffer Brothers originally wanted to do IT, but couldn’t—so translating the brilliant parallel between societal evils and supernatural ones in IT’s Derry to Hawkins would’ve been a smart way to give the Upside Down’s corruption a little more weight by contrasting its evil with the evils of the real world. By no means does the Upside Down have to control the citizens to make them evil—that would be a copout—but seeing that some of the people are horrible in their own way would bring an added layer of dread to the town and further cut off our heroes’ sources of help. Billy (Dacre Montgomery) and his father (Will Chase) are a good start, but surely they aren’t the only bad people in town.

I loved how communicating through lights evolved into the map of tunnels beneath Hawkins and hope that distinctive Stranger Things aspect continues to develop in the years to come. Joyce seeing the Mind Flayer in a VHS tape’s distortion was very cool too. The CGI was excellent throughout the season, particularly when it came to the Demodogs. There wasn’t a moment as creepy as Hopper cutting open the Will dummy and pulling out cotton in Season 1, but then there wasn’t any moment in Season 1 that matched that high point of weirdness either. Even so, the horror aspect was great here! It felt like several supporting and even a few main characters—including Hopper and Steve—could die at several points. I wonder if the season-ending Snow Ball was supposed to represent that the heroes don’t have a snowball’s chance in Hell of escaping the evil pervading their town (or maybe that’s just my love of puns). I wasn’t a fan of the year-and-a-half wait for this season and don’t look forward to another long hiatus, but if Stranger Things becomes an annual Halloween tradition for the next 2-3 years, I’m definitely on board. I was impressed that the trailers didn’t show much from the latter half of the season; that was a nice surprise!

I loved all the 80s references this year, with things like the Aliens movement detector sound effect being incorporated into the score during some of Dr. Owens’ (Paul Reiser) scenes and a riff that sounded like Gremlins’ theme song while the kids were chasing Dart in the school. The kid-friendly Halloween songs they used while trick-or-treating, like “The Monster Mash,” “Ghostbusters,” and “Spooky Movies,” made me think of Halloween when I was a kid (it’s a shame they couldn’t use “Thriller” in more than one excellent trailer, though!). The Police’s “Every Step You Take” was the perfect note to end on, given the government watching everyone all season, the Mind Flayer watching the Snow Ball, and how creepy that song actually is. The show’s orchestral score once again conveyed the feeling that this was a lost miniseries from the 80s perfectly. The fashion in Eleven’s Chicago adventure made me think of the 80s X-men/New Mutants comics, which was a cool peek at 80s punk style completely removed from Hawkins’ small-town world. The kids’ homemade Ghostbusters costumes were awesome, as were Max’s Michael Myers costume and Steve & Nancy’s Tom Cruise & Rebecca De Mornay (from Risky Business) outfits. While the characters played out scenes adapted from Gremlins, ET, Stand By Me, and even Jurassic Park, it never felt like nostalgia for nostalgia’s sake or inorganic to what the show is. The Goonies reference in Bob’s guess about what Will’s map led to was fun too. As pointed out in the behind-the-scenes series Beyond Stranger Things, having the kids play Dragon’s Lair and Dig Dug were cool hints at the direction of the season, since Eleven would go up against a “fiery” monster in the gate room/its “lair” and several characters ventured into the tunnels under the town. The kids’ science class learning about Phineas Gage was also a cool way to foreshadow what happens to Will, since Gage’s personality changed after his brain-damaging accident. I’m looking forward to the Back to the Future references next season, since it’ll be 1985. With the Upside Down monsters being so plant-like, maybe we’ll get Little Shop of Horrors references in Season 4/1986? 

Possibly the largest controversy of the season dealt with Eleven’s solo trip to Chicago in episode 7. I liked the episode, but it shouldn’t have aired in the middle of a cliffhanger: it disrupted the flow too much. Without Eleven in the preceding episode at all, they could’ve split “The Lost Sister” up and cut back and forth between Chicago and Hawkins in both “The Spy” and the reconfigured Episode 7, just like the earlier legs of Eleven’s journey were interspersed with the events in Hawkins. If the contrast between Chicago’s punk scene and Hawkins’ wholesome appearance were too extreme to cut back and forth, “Lost Sister” could have been placed before “The Spy.” I agree with a comment I saw on IGN’s “Lost Sister” review, which pointed out watching it first would show Mike and Hopper in danger before we knew what was happening (Mike screaming “it’s a trap” would spoil the twist, so just show him struggling with the guards and not saying that line), which would be a cool teaser. Either of those solutions would’ve been better than the jarring—but still engaging—side trip to Chicago taking up an entire episode in the middle of a Demodog swarm.

Eleven/Jane Ives Though she was sequestered from the rest of the main cast for most of the season, I liked a lot of what they did with Eleven/Jane this year. I loved the secret family she and Hopper built. Their conversation about being “halfway happy” in compromise was bittersweet and I liked seeing how they figured each other out, both in real time and in flashbacks to the start of their hidden family. Moments like their father/daughter arguments were relatable, things like Eleven wanting to go trick-or-treating as a ghost and awkwardly laughing at Hopper trying to dance were fun, and her psychic temper tantrum felt both realistic and worked as a reminder that she is definitely dangerous. Regarding those fights, it was smart to allow Hopper and Eleven to be angry with each other, but never to let them get to the point where they truly hated each other. That made them coming together again in the end believable instead of a last minute moment of civility that was supposed to make up for nine hours of hatred.

Eleven being instantly jealous about Max and Mike seemingly having fun together didn’t work as well and annoyed me a bit—especially since she knew he’d been calling her every day for nearly a year—but she’s a kid who’s been locked up and abused for a long time and you don’t have to look past her time with Hopper to see she isn’t perfect or eternally understanding, especially when it comes to seeing beyond appearances. Meeting her birth mother (Aimee Mullins) and learning as much as she could about her was emotionally satisfying and it was cool to see Terry Ives was as much a fighter in the end as her daughter. I felt Eleven’s side story in Chicago was a worthy use of her time that brought her to a place where her vengeance and feelings weren’t as important as those of people she didn’t know—she discovered empathy for strangers when she considered orphaning Ray’s (Pruitt Taylor Vince) kids—and that was a great development for her character. I just wish she hadn’t continued to shun Max once she got back to Hawkins; the two of them having a talk would’ve been better, because shutting down Max’s attempt at being friends undercuts much of the understanding she found in Chicago (not to mention at that point, she was yet another person shutting Max out, which had become repetitive). Along with bonding with Max in Season 3, I’d love to see Eleven and Will finally get to interact and become friends (and maybe even step-siblings?) when he isn’t trapped or possessed. Developing a friendship between the two would be a smart outgrowth of the many parallels between them—Eleven was even mistaken for Will at several points in Season 1—and I’m sure their connection to the Upside Down would be a powerful bonding factor. I loved that she got to shut down this year’s invasion by finally closing the gate she’d opened in the first place; the Mind Flayer will definitely remember both her and Will, so perhaps they’ll face its early attacks together.

Mike Wheeler At first it seemed like Mike wasn’t given much to do this year beyond being angry/depressed about Eleven vanishing and concerned about Will. I understand the reasoning for both—I think he actually was experiencing the “anniversary effect” of PTSD Dr. Owens thought Will was going through—but I would’ve liked to see more variety to the writing in his scenes. Then I watched Beyond Stranger Things and realized Wolfhard’s understanding of Mike this season is brilliant: he can’t impress his friends by constructing D&D maps and running campaigns since everyone’s into video games now, he can’t lead a quest to save Will (until Byers’ major episode at Halloween, though even then, Joyce leads that charge), and he can’t even find Eleven, much less help her or have her as his secret friend. I love that this builds him missing Eleven into a larger problem of him losing his place as leader of the team. Matarazzo also pointed out that while the kids struggled to find someone to talk to about what they’d been through with the threat of the government hanging over them, Mike was the sorest about being the leader who’d saved the day and couldn’t talk about it with anyone. With this in mind, the entire season focusing more on Will, Dustin, and Lucas becomes something of Mike’s view of his friends after losing his place in the group. I agree with a comment I saw elsewhere that wished Mike had gone off to find Eleven on his own, meeting up in Chicago; as impractical as that might’ve been for a kid in real life (but not in a movie), it would’ve given his feeling of being out of place a direction instead of watching as Joyce, Hopper, and Bob worked out how to help Will. That said, I absolutely loved how angry Mike got about Steve telling the kids they were on the bench during the climax, as that’s exactly what his dad (Joe Chrest) had been saying in lectures earlier in the season. That was a moment where his need to have a place and function in the group coalesced with the plot perfectly, since he (and the other kids) had literally been left out of the plan to defeat the Mind Flayer.

Still, Mike wasn’t one-note in his struggle to belong this year and Wolfhard played all the sides Mike showed very well. Mike essentially eulogizing Bob by knowing he helped found the AV Club was a glimpse at a distinct texture to a relationship we didn’t see onscreen, though I assume Mike and Bob interacted at least a little while Mike was hanging out with Will. I liked the brief scene of Mike almost having fun with Max in the gym, even if otherwise constantly shutting her out wasn’t a good look at all. He doesn’t have to be perfect, but I would’ve liked more reason to not let her in than what I took from it: a girl in the group reminded him too much of Eleven. Perhaps she represented too much change happening to the party in general: if she joined, he thought she’d be another person moving him out of relevance within the group (particularly considering how invested in her Dustin and Lucas were). I liked Mike reclaiming his position a bit with Will, comforting him after his Halloween episode and propping up his courage as their spy; those felt like great moments of their friendship we didn’t get to see much of last year since Will was missing. I’m sure they felt like old times for Mike as well: finally he got to be the old Mike, at least to an extent. Mike screaming at Hopper and even attacking him for hiding Eleven for nearly a year was another great scene. I didn’t see that reaction coming and both actors delivered powerful performances. Mike’s dedication to calling Eleven every day was touching and, as pointed out on Beyond Stranger Things, I liked that they got to be reunited in two very different contexts at both the besieged Byers house and the Snow Ball. Unlike Nancy and Jonathan, this may imply Mike and Eleven’s friendship/relationship is stronger than just being pulled together in times of tragedy and high drama (not to say a middle school dance is without drama!).

Dustin Henderson Not only did Dustin have a love triangle to contend with this year, but he also found a pet from the Upside Down and discovered an excellent, unlikely surrogate brother in Steve. It was also great to get a glimpse of his home life and I hope we see more of his relationship with his mom (Catherine Curtin) next year. I liked Dustin’s friendship with baby Demodog D’Artagnan—and that it had a payoff in the end—but he shouldn’t have lied about his cat’s death to his mom. Allowing her to go on searching for it when she clearly loved it so much was a little cruel and the exact thing Nancy and Jonathan spent the season fighting. Watering down the truth would’ve worked here; he could’ve just said a wild animal got it. Dustin comparing lying about keeping a dangerous animal to Lucas bringing Max in on the Eleven secret didn’t seem equivalent at first, but then I remembered that anyone else finding out could lead to everyone’s death by cover-up. I liked Dustin’s resigned position that he’d accept being removed from the party for his disloyalty especially after he was the one to enforce the rules of reconciliation when Mike and Lucas had their falling out in Season 1. I also appreciated him accepting Lucas and Max getting together instead of flying into a jealous rage, which wouldn’t have been in-character or fitting at all. Matarazzo’s explanation that Dustin thought discovering a new species of slimy lizard would impress Max because his mom laughs off the things that excite him—so he thinks that’s what all girls like—was a cool example of Dustin’s inability to see what’s in front of his face when he’s overcome with excitement, much like he doesn’t consider the somewhat obvious truth about Dart’s origins. That Dustin got a heroic moment at the end by standing up to Dart so the others could flee was great; that made up for the danger he put them in earlier.

I loved Dustin’s brotherly bond with Steve and this was my favorite new bit of chemistry of the season. Pairing Dustin with Steve while they were both heartbroken and on the same ends of love triangles worked well to bond them. I’m also glad the series’ format allowed for leisurely scenes like Dustin and Steve strolling down some railroad tracks discussing hair products. Character bits like that go a long way to not only endear the characters to the audience, but they also show us what they’re like in (relatively) normal circumstances. I want more of these moments for every character in the coming seasons. I liked Steve trying to give Dustin advice about girls, even if he was wrong that acting like you don’t care about women makes them like you (Nancy moving on after Jonathan didn’t make a move for a month proves this). On the other hand, he was right about reading the electricity between you and someone you like, and trying to explain that to Dustin was a funny moment. Steve driving Dustin to the Snow Ball and giving him some parting courage was a perfect culmination of their brotherly arc. I loved Dustin’s “Steve” hairdo and while his walk around the dance continually getting shot down was sad, Matarazzo acted it so well! I also love that Dustin’s reaction to being shot down wasn’t played as though Steve was wrong about being confident, but (according to Matarazzo) that he’s not Steve Harrington. That’s not only more tragic, but it perfectly references Dustin’s insecurities about not being Mike’s best friend like Will and Lucas are because he only met the guys in fourth grade. I hope Season 3 has Dustin finding the confidence to live up to his own potential, rather than just being the best person he can in relation to someone else’s standard. If he’s infected with the spores from the tunnels and they corrupt him in some fashion, that may be the perfect vehicle to force that confrontation on him.

Lucas Sinclair Like Dustin, I enjoyed getting to see Lucas’ home life a lot. Lucas’ sister Erica (Priah Ferguson) was an especially hilarious addition to the cast and her attitude played off Lucas’ perfectly; here’s hoping she returns in a major way next year! His parents’ (Karen Ceesay, Arnell Powell) advice about women was humorous as well. I thought it was funny that the most nuclear families, the Sinclairs and Wheelers, feature parents who don’t seem particularly involved in their kids’ lives at all, though I was happy to see the Sinclairs seemed much happier together than Mike and Nancy’s parents. Lucas navigating how to handle his crush on Max was a fun plot that added depth to him and their banter was a lot of fun as well. He also proved Steve’s advice wrong by giving Max what she wanted and showing her he cared about her. I liked their bonding moments, particularly on top of the bus in the junkyard. Watching Lucas practice lines in the mirror before the dance was also great! His argument with Mike about the coolness of Winston from Ghostbusters was good, and I totally missed that Winston has the “Judgment Day” speech in the film and Lucas gets to call the climax of the season Judgment Day.

I like that Lucas is constantly the most grounded and practical of the kids (like Winston is among the Ghostbusters, now that I think about it); McLaughlin even said that if Lucas had found Dart instead of Dustin, there wouldn’t have been a second episode with the lizard in it. That characteristic plays well off of what the rest of the kids bring to the group, particularly Dustin, and McLaughlin performed it excellently, never coming off as a jerk, even when he was trying to be the voice of reason. One thing I would’ve liked to see more of from Lucas, however, is a reaction to Billy’s racism. It felt like he understood why Max wouldn’t let her brother see him (even if he didn’t vocalize it) and it was terrifying when Billy attacked him in the season finale, but I wanted them to dig into it more. Watching Lucas process and deal with any of the “there’s a certain kind of people you don’t hang around” talk from Billy would’ve added a great deal to his outlook and character. The Sinclairs seem to be one of the few African-American families in town, so is this relatively normal for him, or is having it thrown in his face something new? If he and Max had a real, out-in-the-open conversation about her brother, how would that have gone? He doesn’t seem to have any misgivings about pursing an interracial relationship—he might be too young (and too wrapped up in his crush on Max) to consider the ramifications yet—but would his family? Would the rest of the town? This is an area where the Duffer Brothers could absolutely have taken a page from Stephen King and drawn real-world horrors—particularly in a small, Midwestern town—as parallels to the rot of the Upside Down. The Ghostbusters costume argument brought up the assumption that Lucas was “supposed” to be Winston (and Mike couldn’t) because he’s Black and briefly touched on the issue of race, but the kids sidestepped it for the most part. Billy’s villainy would’ve resonated more if Lucas had scenes dealing with what he represented, and even moreso if it turned out Billy hadn’t just brought racism to Hawkins, but it had always been there.

Will Byers Some reviews have said Will’s plot felt too similar to his predicament last year—communicating through lights/crayons, being captured by the monster, etc.—but I liked the variations on the theme this year. The map of corruption in the town was both a cool visual aspect and a great expression of Will’s own infection, as the Mind Flayer had also wormed its smoky tendrils into his body. I loved that his connection to the Mind Flayer was a double-edged sword that rarely actually helped the heroes, unlike his Christmas lights last year. I totally expected Will to be a conscious solider against the Upside Down this year—particularly with Eleven absent from much of the action—so twisting it to make him the spy for the monsters and leading several soldiers to their deaths was brilliant! This was an especially cool reversal of how honest we know Will to be, even to the point of telling Mike the truth about what he rolled against the Demogorgon in the first episode when he didn’t have to. Making Will the Mind Flayer’s eyes also created a cool obstacle for the heroes: they had no safe haven unless he didn’t know where he was. No conversation about Will this year would be complete without pointing out that Schnapp is a fantastic actor: he did an excellent job of playing his attempts to be a normal kid with his friends, the loneliness of his post-Upside Down captivity, the pure terror/sadness of what was happening to him, the Mind Flayer’s pawn, and even the villain. His reaction to the soldiers burning the vines in the tunnels, the interrogation scene in the shed where he’d first disappeared (nice callback!), and his exorcism scene were particular standout moments for Schnapp (and all the actors involved). Mike, Jonathan, and Joyce sharing their memories with Will to bring him back to the surface was a powerful, incredible sequence! I’m glad the Duffers didn’t go with their initial idea of making Will slip into “evil Will” flashes where the Mind Flayer took over his body—and even killed Bob!—as that would’ve taken his possession a little too far.

All that said, the girl asking Will to dance at the Snow Ball by calling him “Zombie Boy” didn’t work for me, particularly as we were told he was very sensitive about that term. It would’ve helped if they’d established that Will was interested in any of the girls before having one ask him to dance just so he could be partnered up. The first season hinted that he might be gay—Joyce evaded Hopper’s question about whether bullies’ taunts about him being homosexual had any basis in fact—and making Will deal with that bigotry next year would be another way to bring real-life horror into Hawkins, especially in the mid-80s. Will being stunned at the girl’s proposition was cute—and it was probably just a throwaway moment to get Mike alone for Eleven’s entrance—but they could’ve had Will just be content with the normalcy of a dance instead (which would’ve contrasted Dustin’s lap around the gym nicely). Who Will is in normal life when he’s not being directly tormented by demons is definitely something I hope we get next year, since we haven’t gotten to see much of him being himself. I’m also eager to see what he brings to monster-hunting without the benefit of a connection to the Upside Down. Maybe if someone else is the Upside Down’s target, Will can step up as the person with experience and guidance in surviving it. It’ll be interesting to see how Will grows after having survived such an intense connection to the Mind Flayer as well, and how that shapes his outlook on the real world. Maybe surviving that horror could actually help him cope with any anti-gay hatred he faces, if the Duffers choose to reintroduce and expand on that aspect.

Max Hargrove Max was a great addition and I hope she returns next season! Sadie Sink held her own with the rest of the cast, bringing an equally natural feel to her character and a fresh attitude to the gang. It’s good to have more women in the cast and it’s neat that she, not one of the guys, is traditionally the “coolest” of the kids. I liked the guys being bewildered at the “wonder” of a girl liking video games and skateboarding (even if they forgot Nancy was willing to dress up as an elf with them just five years earlier), but I was also glad Max never acknowledged any strangeness about her liking genre stuff: of course girls have always liked it too! Max being genre savvy was a cool way to incorporate a few criticisms about certain nostalgia aspects of the first season when Lucas told her the truth about Eleven and the Upside Down. However, I hope that’s where the meta commentary ends. A little bit goes a long way for me, so Max writing Lucas’ tale off as a derivative story worked as an in-joke while also making sense given the context of what she’d seen, but I don’t think I need any further commentary from the fans voiced on the show. Max’s arc this year mainly focused on wanting to be accepted as part of the party and it worked well without needing to make her the audience’s eyes too much: the show didn’t assume you hadn’t watched the first season (we didn’t even hear Lucas tell her the truth). At the same time, she was thankfully never presented as an annoying girl trying to worm her way into their secret club. We can all relate to feeling like we don’t belong and wanting to fit in, so it felt original that Max had to struggle even to be accepted by the “nerds” of the school. These aren’t bad kids—and of course there are extenuating circumstances with the government threat—but it was a nice change of pace from the popular kids being the ones to exclude everyone. That she’s a girl trying to hang out with a bunch of guys also felt like a timely reference to the fact that she is a girl who likes nerdy things and there’s a lot of absurd pushback (to put it lightly) facing vocal female fans nowadays. Once she was in with the party, I loved that Max was totally in; these are her friends and it was clear she’d do anything to help them.

Next year I hope Max and Eleven bond as friends. Their spat this year shouldn’t have lasted to the end of the season as it was and I hope Eleven comes around between this season and next. I also hope Max finds a family among the party, particularly as she has it much tougher than anyone else in terms of her home life; maybe coping with and surviving that abuse is something that can bond her and Jane. The clear abuse she’s suffered at Billy’s “overprotective” hands was scary and portrayed well without being too graphic. I loved that she stood up to her brother to save Steve and Lucas in the end, and that Billy’s a little afraid of her now. I’m interested to see how their relationship develops because they’re good together (though the story told on Beyond Stranger Things about the origin of their kiss—that it wasn’t in the script until Ross Duffer realized the idea of a kiss freaked Sadie Sink out and its addition led to her having even more anxiety about it (and McLaughlin felt weird about it too)—is troubling, so I hope there was more conversation about the kiss’ addition than we heard and that this is the last time something like that ever happens). If she and Lucas are still together by the time Season 3 starts—and hopefully they are; they have great chemistry—I’d like to see how she deals with a small town’s prejudices about interracial dating as well. That prejudice could also be an obstacle unique to the two of them that the Duffers could play up. Max and Erica seems like it’d be an amazing pairing as well, so hopefully we get to see them interact! We got a lot of older brother/younger brother interactions over the past two years, so getting to see Nancy taking on an older sister role with both Eleven and Max (and Erica; why not?) would be great too.

Eight/Kali Prasad Eight (Linnea Berthelsen) and her crew of misfits and castoffs (Kai Greene, James Landry Herbert, Anna Jacoby-Heron, and Gabrielle Maiden) had an 80s X-men/New Mutants vibe that I liked a lot, particularly once Eight took on the Professor X role and trained Eleven. I thought their sisterly relationship was well-written and acted, and I liked that Eight was such a contrast not only to the rest of Eleven’s found family, but to everything she knew from the lab and Hawkins. Eight’s quest to kill all the former employees of the Hawkins facility, regardless of the effects on their families, has been criticized by some as one-note, but I think it makes her a great parallel to Eleven. I loved that Kali is the person Eleven could’ve become had she not met her friends or spent so much time with Hopper. I really liked her point about allowing Eleven not to take revenge on the people who hurt her, but warning Jane never to take her choice away. I feel like that’s the nuance other reviews are asking for. Eight is driven to violence by revenge, but she does care about her crew, did care about Eleven, and respected her enough to allow her “sister” to make her own choices. It’s only when Eleven stops her from carrying out her own wishes that they have a problem from Eight’s point of view.

The degree to which Eight has been changed by meeting Eleven was left as an open-ended question in Season 2, so seeing how she reflects on Eleven choosing not to kill will be very interesting. Were her eyes opened by Jane’s empathy epiphany, or will she see Eleven as a weak victim who can’t do what’s necessary to prevent others from being hurt? There could be no redemption for the lab workers in Kali’s eyes, but I wonder if we’re being set up for a redemption arc for her. I fully expect her to track Eleven down next year, causing problems for Jane’s new lease on life in Hawkins. Just as Eleven is allowed to reenter society around Halloween 1985, Eight finally finds her and upends her peaceful life? Sounds about right. I also wonder if Kali will locate the other test subjects and continue building the X-men vibe by recruiting them to her cause. If a portion of Season 3 were Kali and her Brotherhood coming to town and the heroes there having to deal with them instead of the Upside Down, I’d be all for it. I’m glad Eight has an entirely different set of powers and I wonder what abilities the others might have (given the Stephen King inspiration, one is totally a pyrokinetic). On the other hand, as much as I’d like to meet those other kids, I feel like it would shift the show too far away from the established cast to bring on a nearly equal number of new characters…unless Netflix wants to make the seasons longer from here on out, of course. I’d have no problem with that! Perhaps a standalone miniseries about her recruiting them could work between seasons as well. Kali’s illusion-casting was cool, especially the electric butterfly and bringing Brenner (Matthew Modine) “back” to manipulate Eleven. I wonder how that could be used to illuminate the other characters’ inner thoughts and fears if it were used against them.

Steve Harrington I loved that the hints of the good guy Steve is from Season 1 were vindicated here; he was only the jock asshole on the surface/to impress his friends last year and he does have a heart…and really does love Nancy. I thought it was a nice twist that he was genuinely hurt not because she didn’t want to party and act like teenagers with him (and even that suggestion was his attempt to do whatever he could to make her feel better), but because she said their love was bullshit. I also like that despite his clear sadness, he put Nancy and her needs first by driving away from the Snow Ball at the end of the season (unless he’s just acting like he doesn’t care…I hope not, though). Nancy being supportive of Steve taking care of the kids along with his lack of drama about her and Jonathan makes me think that they can develop a friendship next season and I hope that’s the case. I definitely agree with Keery that there’s no need for a physical confrontation between Jonathan and Steve over Nancy; if anything, the three of them just need to discuss where they all are. I love that this is a second love triangle that didn’t explode into angst or fighting, but mature acceptance.

I knew Steve was a good guy despite his mistakes back in Season 1, but I had no idea he’d be such a surprisingly great scene partner for the kids, especially Dustin! Keery seemed to have a blast with the kids and played the big brother role perfectly. His and Dustin’s brotherly relationship developed excellently—even if it started because Steve just happened to show up at the Wheelers’ when Dustin was there and was totally a last resort—and I hope it continues into the coming years. Hopefully even though Dustin failed to be Steve Harrington at the dance, Steve will be there to console him and help him out in the future (even if not all his advice is spot-on). As I’ve seen elsewhere, Steve having no qualms or embarrassment about being a babysitter was cool of him and totally unexpected. There wasn’t even a second thought to him protecting the kids, like when he got Max out of the way to fend off the Demodog while they were trapped in the old bus. Waking up after being beaten by Billy and thinking Mike was Nancy was a totally surprising—and hilarious—moment. I hope there are many more humorous moments like that as we get to see him interact with the kids more. It was also neat to see Steve totally over his position as “king of the school,” much less concerned with being cool than the guy who bent to his friends’ peer pressure was. I wonder if that maturity will take him to college next season, or if he’ll hang around town. I hope it’s the former; he could always just come home from school when things start happening again. Being away and coming back home will provoke more change in him than sticking around town treading water, so I hope that’s what they do with him. It’d definitely be good to see what he wants out of life too.

Nancy Wheeler Nancy’s one of my favorite characters and while I liked her hunting human monsters this time—and outsmarting the government by intentionally getting herself and Jonathan captured so they could get a confession on tape—I wish we’d seen more of her this year. Though Nancy getting to shut down the government project for Barb was cool, I do wonder if her and Jonathan’s quest was a little undercut both by saying all the agents who were around when Barb died and Will disappeared are gone (if that’s true) and then most of the current staff getting killed by Demodogs. It’s true the government got a public black eye and the project has been permanently shut down through Nancy and Jonathan’s efforts (and Eleven shutting the gate), though. I wouldn’t mind a Season 3 that had no military component and just had those in the know in Hawkins against the Mind Flayer as it tries to return. Maybe it would’ve been better to shut down the lab at midseason to free up Nancy and Jonathan for more interaction with the growing Upside Down threat. Specifically, I wish she’d been around to help Steve and the kids hunt Demodogs; Nancy would’ve been useful in the junkyard, the tunnels, or as backup for Eleven and Hopper (though I get the narrative and emotional reasons you’d sequester those two one final time). That said, Dyer was great with what she got, be it romantic comedy with Jonathan, her turmoil over what Barb’s parents (Cynthia Barrett, Aaron Munoz) had been put through for a year, or helping to drive the infection out of Will at the end. Nancy thinking she and Steve were at fault for Barb’s death was a great, tragic bit of self-inflicted guilt, no matter how wrong she was: it was Barb choosing to wait around after Nancy told her to go home that got her killed, not Nancy and Steve sleeping together. I loved that Nancy accepted the rifle from Hopper when they were being swarmed by Demodogs, she was the one who used a hot poker on Will, and that Jonathan turned away from his hurting brother to find comfort in her arms, rather than the other way around. The show is very good about crafting strong female characters and I loved that they subverted gender norms by making Nancy and Joyce the ones willing to do whatever it took to save Will, while Jonathan couldn’t.

Dancing with Dustin and giving him a pep talk at the Snow Ball was a sweet, perfect moment. What a great nod to Dustin’s crush on her in Season 1, back when he offered her their last slice of pizza and argued that she “used to be cool” (even if his then-current assessment had been that “something was wrong” with her). I like that she also tried to get Jonathan to socialize more, snagging him an invite to the Halloween party and even suggesting he might meet someone there. I wish we’d seen more moments of friendship between the two of them to further develop their romantic bond, but the fact that they’d grown apart over the past year worked too. I’ve certainly had life get in the way of keeping in touch with friends, so that felt realistic (particularly in an era without social media). The Snow Ball left things a little unresolved as to whether Nancy and Jonathan were together-together, and I’m game whether the show wants to explore that relationship or not. Perhaps Nancy, Jonathan, and Steve need to find themselves separately a bit more before any pairing can healthily take off. I’m very interested to see where Nancy goes now that Barb has justice and she can finally move on. What are her interests and goals in life? We know she doesn’t want to repeat her mother’s decision to settle for a perfect nuclear family, so what does she want? The similarity between Murray (Brett Gelman) and Nancy—their need to “pull back curtains”—would be an interesting direction to explore in the future. I don’t want her to go full-on conspiracy theorist like he is, but perhaps she’ll become a reporter. Whatever direction she takes, I’m excited to see her journey towards becoming more self-aware continue.

Jonathan Byers It felt like Jonathan got the least to do out of anyone—his incorporation into Nancy’s quest to help Barb’s parents felt more tangential since Will did come back, for example—though I did get the impression that he’s grown a lot since Season 1. I think this year’s Jonathan is in a much better place to be in a relationship, unlike last year when ending up with Nancy would’ve felt like the clichéd loner “good guy” (with a stalker streak that was never a good look) “deserved” to get the girl at the end of the horror movie just by virtue of not being a jerk. This season, he seemed more settled in his home life and comfortable with how things had been going; Jonathan generally felt healthier this year, since he didn’t have to be the guy looking after his family to as great a degree. Heaton was good at showing us lighter shades of Jonathan like that. Jonathan and Nancy’s earlier monster hunting connection and mutual impulse to watch each other’s backs as they got justice worked to play up their connection and stir the tension between them. While I still would’ve liked more development in their romantic relationship, the moment where he and Nancy compared scars and talked about their friendship vanishing was a fun bit of reconnection. I also liked that at every turn, Jonathan was right there with Nancy insisting they weren’t together and looking for ways not to share a bed with her; it would’ve been cheaper if the hotel only had a single room available or for him not to offer to sleep on Murray’s couch. I liked the Temple of Doom homage with Nancy and Jonathan (unsuccessfully) fighting the urge to sleep together; that was fun! I’ve seen this pointed out elsewhere, but if they are together at the end of the season, then I wonder if their relationship really can survive normalcy and times when the world isn’t ending. Whether they can or not, that would be something interesting to explore.

While I liked Jonathan’s reaction to Will’s predicament once he got back into town and his attempts to help his brother were great, I would’ve liked to see him react more to not being there for Will and Joyce. That was such a drive for him in Season 1 that removing him from the equation could’ve yielded a bigger reaction once he realized what he’d been missing. That said, I wonder if the fact that everyone survived without him—and were more capable of doing what needed to be done than he was—will lead him down a path where he doesn’t feel as needed for his family’s survival anymore. We started to see this in Season 2, when he trusted Will to take care of himself while trick-or-treating and Jonathan let himself go to a party. Where will Jonathan go if he doesn’t feel like he has to be the one to care for his whole family? I don’t want him to feel guilty (and especially not emasculated) that he couldn’t face Will’s pain or turn up the heat, but I’d like to see what he wants to do with a clean slate and the ability to move forward, trusting Joyce to handle things and Will to fend for himself.

Billy Hargrove Billy was the final form of every 80s movie bully (and everything Steve seemed to be on the surface last year) and while Dacre Montgomery did a great job making him a constant predatory threat, there didn’t seem to be much complexity to him in the writing. Just like Henry Bowers in IT, Billy made for an intimidating human villain, but while one scene showing us a glimpse of the parental abuse that drove him to be so psychotic is appreciated, it’s too little too late. In a movie that’s more forgivable, but with nine hours to tell the story it doesn’t quite fly. I’m also glad the Duffers don’t think Billy’s abuse at the hands of his father excuses his actions, but only shows where he learned that hate. I liked Billy crying and then suppressing it after his dad left his room—Montgomery’s acting was very good in that scene—but none of this redeemed him for me and honestly, I don’t need to see him redeemed. I also don't think his reaction to being drugged and threatened by Max is equivalent to Jonathan knocking sense into Steve in Season 1. Steve realized what he did to Nancy was wrong and took steps to change right away. He even showed up at the Byers house at the end of the season to apologize to Jonathan, not to find Nancy to win her back. Billy’s violence-induced "respect" for Max is not at all the same thing as the violent moment that made Steve reevaluate his life.

Making Billy a racist on top of everything else would’ve worked better if they’d given Lucas a moment to reflect on why he couldn’t hang out with Max, if Max had a realization about why Billy acted the way he did, or if anyone had confronted Billy about it, forcing him to try to justify himself (not that there’s justification for that). As it was, he was terrifying both whenever he’d threaten Max and when he came after Lucas, but it seemed like there could’ve been more explored with him and the racist angle felt like just one more horrible thing about him. It’s possible Billy’s anger also comes from repressing his own homosexuality, given his reaction to what his father called him and the vibe he gave off when confronting Steve at the end of the season. If Billy is gay, then 80s-era prejudices against both he and his step-sister’s burgeoning interracial relationship could work to bring them closer together (if he can work through his anger issue and develop real respect for her; there’s no excuse for the way he acts). Dacre Montgomery doesn’t think Billy is racist or homophobic, but while he may not be playing either of those aspects and I could be misreading Billy—Montgomery definitely knows his character better than I do—the script left it too open-ended to dismiss as a possibility. I’m not sure his interpretation lines up with what we saw of him “protecting” Max either; if he were so concerned about her and who she hung out with, it wouldn’t have taken his father threatening him to get him to go hunt Max down. Whatever is driving Billy’s anger, we also should’ve seen a happy moment between Max and Billy to show us why her being a “constant” in his life was a good thing in his mind. I do agree with Montgomery that Billy’s insane amount of insecurity about being a man (and the man) is probably a large part of what’s feeding into his anger and lashing out; his early insults and attacks on Steve over no longer being the “king of the school” and getting dumped by Nancy definitely speak to that. As uncomfortable as the scene where he flirts with Mrs. Wheeler (Cara Buono) was, I liked the scene immediately after where Montgomery’s expression revealed it was all an act. That was the one bit of trope subversion his character got this year that reminded me of the undercurrents Steve got last year. Either way, I’m definitely interested to find out what “sinister” plans Montgomery and the Duffers have for Billy next year; how much worse can he get?

Barbara Holland I always thought Barb was fine; neither dull nor the perfect, slighted best friend some parts of the internet made her out to be, but analysis like this (and check out great analysis of all the characters here and here) and a rewatch of Season 1 left me seeing her as a judgey, jealous friend who couldn’t handle Nancy starting to pull away. She may have had good intentions in being protective of Nancy, but when it came time to face Nancy’s decisions, she couldn’t deal with what Lucas and Dustin overcame with Mike and Eleven (and because of her death, she never got the chance to learn from and grow out of her mistakes like everyone else did). That said, it did bother me that no one in town cared she’d gone missing except Nancy and her parents, so tying up that loose end here felt appropriate. It was sad her parents spent a year thinking she’d just run away or something, and moreso that they were spending all their money—even having to sell the house—in the search. I was satisfied with the justice Barb got here.

Joyce Byers Winona Ryder was great once again and I’m glad her efforts to save Will were listened to this year. There was a definite sense that she had more control and influence over things and, as I’ve seen pointed out elsewhere, it was great to see her take charge of getting answers about Will’s health rather than having to force Hopper to investigate or needing to justify her methods (like when she bought so many boxes of Christmas lights). Like Nancy, I’m glad Joyce was the one willing and able to do anything to save Will from the Mind Flayer’s influence, even though it hurt him. It was also cool that Ryder got to explore a healthier Joyce this year; she was understandably pushed to the limits of her sanity last year, so seeing her as a veteran of the Upside Down and its attacks on her family was a great bit of development. Moments like her concern for Will when dropping him off at the arcade felt relatable as well; even if he hadn’t been abducted by monsters from another dimension, her concern for his medical condition felt like something any mother would express (and his exasperated desire for her to see him as a capable person rather than a kid needing protection was spot-on too). The one area that felt a little lacking with Joyce’s portrayal this year was that she didn’t seem to even notice Jonathan was gone. Of course she was consumed with worry for Will, but an acknowledgment that Jonathan was missing would’ve been nice and some reaction to what he’d done with Nancy would’ve been better, since taking on the government could’ve had direct and deadly results for their whole family.

I liked her relationship with Bob; it brought out a new, almost carefree side to Joyce that we hadn’t seen in her interactions with Hopper, which are almost always fraught with tension over supernatural goings-on. At least at first, it felt like her relationship with Bob was a window into who she possibly used to be. David Harbour’s assessment that Joyce had a relationship with Bob because he seemed to be the safe, dorky father figure is probably accurate, but I would’ve liked to hear what Ryder’s thoughts on it were. The Duffers saying she would’ve left town with Bob had he lived gave his death a bigger tragedy, but I feel like she has a stronger connection to Hopper so I’m more invested in seeing where that goes. I’d also like to see Joyce interact with the other parents more; does she have friends anymore? It would help if she could talk to them about what happened, so perhaps the government facility shutting down will give her at least some ability to discuss a watered-down version of what she’s been going through. It’d also be cool to see what Joyce’s dreams are and what she hoped her life would turn out like. That could bond her with not only the younger kids in the face of so much danger, but the teens as they’re about to go off to college and forge lives for themselves. An attempt to build her life beyond her job at the store and as Will and Jonathan’s mom would also definitely be welcome.

Jim Hopper The change in Hopper from the start of Season 1 to the beginning of 2 (to say nothing of his journey through the rest of the season) was immense, going from a man barely holding it together and caught up in the memories of his dead daughter to a far healthier man building a life for his new surrogate child. Hopper and Eleven’s familial connection was an excellent aspect of Season 2 and one I never thought I’d love so much. Like Joyce being concerned about Will even during a benign trip to the arcade, Hopper and Eleven shared a lot of realistic parent/child moments that grounded the supernatural strangeness of their lives. Glimpses of their happier moments were excellent and, as Harbour pointed out on Beyond Stranger Things, very “dad” things like Hopper trying to guilt Eleven into coming out of her room to share overdue Halloween candy were played perfectly. Life lessons like the fact that even well-meaning parents can let their kids down worked very well too. Eleven’s psychic tantrum felt like a real argument between a parent and a child—even if amped up by her powers—and the push and pull between what was best for her development and what was safest for her created an excellent tension for Hopper to deal with; Harbour played it perfectly. His apology to an empty cabin was excellent and their reconciliation in the truck on the way to the facility was outstanding too. They need each other to build a new family out of their fractured lives and I can’t wait to see how that develops (particularly now that she’ll be able to leave the cabin safely within a year); I was very happy to see that she’s now legally his daughter. I absolutely loved his “You did so good, kid,” moment after she closed the gate and Hopper carrying her out of the gate room was a brilliant connection to Brenner carrying her out of the tank after her early tests with the Upside Down (that was a callback I completely missed!).

I’m glad Hopper didn’t go full-on nefarious Men in Black like the end of last season implied, instead just helping to cover up things in town without any qualms about setting the government straight the moment he realized they weren’t living up to their side of the “keep the Upside Down sealed” bargain. I like that his maybe-relationship with Joyce is seemingly back on track by the end of this year and I wonder if they’ll actually get together next season (or between seasons). If they were to get married, Eleven and Will as step-siblings would work really well given their shared traumas with the Upside Down. Hopper being absolutely done with the kids’ D&D allusions was perfect, so putting as many kids around him as possible would be hilarious! Has Joyce been taking Mike and Will up to have playdates with Eleven? Do all the kids regularly trek up to Hopper’s cabin to hang out with Eleven on weekends and play D&D? Did someone get an NES? I would love it if Hopper and Joyce actually enjoyed playing it just as much as the kids will (I remember my parents playing my Sega Genesis X-men game by themselves often, so the adults being into a video game or two isn’t outside the bounds of reality). I’d also be interested to see if sheriff is the end of Hopper’s career path or if he wants more out of his work. Could he be recruited into further government projects into the supernatural, or will he do something smaller, like running for Mayor of Hawkins? I hope the spores in the tunnels didn’t do anything to him, but I can’t see the Duffers letting that go so easily, especially since he’ll be directly in Eleven’s (and possibly Will’s) orbit. Perhaps that experience with the supernatural will be a way to bond him and Eleven even closer and give her a chance to directly rescue him.

Bob Newby His name literally being “newbie” may have been on the nose, but I liked Bob and the distinct flavor he brought to the character mix. His innocence and sense of discovery created fun clashes with the other characters’ temperaments, like when he was decoding Will’s map. He almost felt like a glimpse into what any of the kids could’ve become had they not had these run-ins with the supernatural. His tech and puzzle-solving knowledge were fresh skills some shows would’ve just randomly given to Mike or the other kids simply because they’re nerds—as if that means they know everything about all nerdy things—so I was glad the Duffers gave them to a new character. Those skills made him invaluable and allowed for a very tense escape from the government facility. I felt he truly cared about Joyce and her boys, which was refreshing to see, and he bonded well with Will. I liked the tragedy that his well-meaning advice about facing your fears was the absolute worst thing he could’ve told Will, and that Will trusted him enough to listen. Bob’s suggestion to move the family to Maine was a cool, sly Stephen King reference; they probably wouldn’t be any safer there! I was sorry he died, but I wish they hadn’t shot it with such a tell; instead of Bob and Joyce having a moment of relief that he’d escaped, having Bob continue running for his life and getting snagged by the Demodogs anyway would’ve been a bigger shock.

Allies I was shocked Dr. Owens turned out to not only not be morally gray or outright evil, but genuinely cared about Will, Eleven, and the others. That was a great change of pace from the stock government scientist and a clever subversion of Reiser’s character in Aliens. I believe he truly did believe doing whatever was necessary to stop the spread of the Upside Down was the best course of action, but once it came to harming kids, he was done. I respected that. I expected him to die, so his survival was a surprise and I hope he continues to be an ally in Season 3 and beyond. The government trying to burn away the infectious Upside Down infestation was a great way to make them problematic in that they were still running tests, while proving they weren’t completely oblivious to how dangerous it was (even if they had no idea how far it had spread). That was a cool split between their deal with Hopper and their own interests. I’d like to see what the larger government wants with the Upside Down testing, though. Are they thinking it could be used as a way to “teleport” behind enemy lines? If an army battalion (or just one operative with a nuclear weapon) entered the Upside Down in Hawkins and punched their way out in Moscow, for example, that would be a powerful military advantage that could clinch the Cold War for the US. Eleven and Eight’s powers both seem to be in the same vein as Cold War psychic experiments (and it all started as part of Project MKUltra), so elaboration on specific goals there would be cool too. Maybe some of the test subjects didn’t escape and are government-backed child soldiers now. If Jane being number eleven means she’s the latest and youngest, there’s no telling how old the earlier subjects are now.

It’s always good to see Mr. Clarke (Randy Havens), the kids’ science teacher. He didn’t have as big a role to play as the kids’ source of science this year, but all his scenes were great. I love that he’s so into science and always seizes the opportunity to pass on that love and curiosity to the kids. I’m not sure if I want him to learn about the Upside Down or not, because the kids’ flimsy excuses are entertaining. He’d have his mind blown by what they’ve seen, however, and that could be fun in and of itself. I also wonder just how much the kids are overlooking due to not having a background in science that could be useful to fighting the Upside Down. Officers Powell (Rob Morgan) and Callahan (John Reynolds) gave welcome returns as possibly the least effective cops (Callahan far moreso than Powell) on TV. I love how small-town they are in their all-too human reactions to things, even if they’re rarely helpful as law enforcement. As fun as they are, I wonder if there’s a way to preserve that quality while subverting the trope of the bumbling detectives. Ted Wheeler is still totally useless, but while I can almost see why Karen would be attracted to Billy after knowing him on his best behavior for two minutes, I wish we’d gotten more depth to her than a joke about bored housewives. Both of her children were gone from the house for days and she barely seemed to care (even if they did give flimsy sleepover excuses). I’d like to see her build a friendship with Joyce instead of continuing to just be an oblivious parent; there were hints that there was more to her in Season 1 and I hope there’s a return to that in Season 3. Digging into the Karen she wanted to be instead of the one who chose the safe life could be a revelation to Nancy—and Nancy venturing into a role in a male-dominated field like investigative reporter a boon to Karen—and I’d love to dig deeper into those dynamics.

Conspiracy theorist Murray Bauman was a nice nod to the fact that other people are taking note of the strange things going on in Hawkins. I liked his rundown of the myth Eleven accidentally created about herself and his complete misreading of Hopper’s dismissal as naiveté, not being in on the conspiracy. Other shows might have had him be so keyed into the mysteries that he’d suspect Hopper’s smokescreen right away, so his total obliviousness in that area felt fresh. His stunned reaction to what was really happening—much bigger than anything he’d imagined—was great too. His plan to water down the truth about the lab was cool as well; a clever way of holding off on letting everyone know about the Upside Down while still being rooted in human behavior. It didn’t feel like the plot was forcing them to keep their mouths shut about monsters just because doing so would change the whole show’s status quo, but like there was a real reason to. Explaining it like this was also easier to swallow than revealing the truth and then having people go back to disbelieving once the government said it was a lie, in an odd way. Even with the explanation that Murray has an obsessive need to expose secrets and illuminate the truth, his investment in the love lives of two teens he’d just met was a little unnerving. He didn’t come off as creepy, I guess, but just weird. I don’t need to see him return—with the government shutting down the facility, he’s served his purpose—but becoming something of a journalistic mentor for Nancy, if they go that route with her, could be cool.

I wasn’t too enamored with the members of Kali’s crew. They were fine foils for Eleven’s friends and definitely brought a distinct flavor to the show, but nothing Kali couldn’t bring by herself. With so little screentime to split among so many new characters, they didn’t feel as fully-formed as they could’ve been. I might’ve cut a few of them or combined their traits into fewer characters. Still, it’s good that they were so diverse; that was a realistic contrast to life in Hawkins. I definitely appreciate that there was an even gender split in the crew too. Perhaps given more time with these characters, I’d like them better.

Enemies I really, really hope Brenner isn’t still alive. He doesn’t need to be. Now that Eleven has discovered and come to terms with as much of her past as possible, bringing him back would feel like a step backwards. Through her interactions with Eight—who acted the way Brenner wanted his subjects to, even if she aimed herself at him instead of the government’s enemies—and Hopper, it feels like Jane’s already defeated the ghost of Brenner’s influence and his physical return wouldn’t be much of a fight for her soul. Now, if Eight shows up in Hawkins and uses an illusion of him to manipulate/terrorize Eleven, that could work. Then again, Millie Bobby Brown’s reading of Eleven’s relationship with her Papa as a warm one—because he was the first person to hold her and she felt there was care there, despite the abuse he inflicted on her and her mother—adds so many layers to the conflict that I hadn’t considered before. Her assertion that she wouldn’t channel her anger or fight as much without Brenner having been in her life is also a fascinating look at Eleven’s survival skills and her ability to make a positive out of the abuse she suffered. I’d like to see Eleven deal with that, but I wouldn’t want them to take her will to fight out of her hands or give him too much credit; I believe she’d be a fighter with or without Brenner in her life, since her mother certainly was in the end and would’ve taught Jane that instinct had she been there to raise her. Brown’s interpretations of their relationship almost make me hope he is alive. Almost.

The Mind Flayer was an imposing step up from the Demogorgon (just for fun, check out this incredible cosplay!) and the Demodogs were cool underlings. What’s going to happen with the Demodog Dustin and Steve put in the Byers’ fridge? It seemed dead, but they do like the cold… At any rate, I love the mythology of a being that’s so ancient even it doesn’t know where it came from, like Dustin theorizes the Mind Flayer is. The show is digging into Lovecraftian themes and I love it! Of course, if they’re going full-Lovecraft, it may also mean the Mind Flayer isn't necessarily evil, just that it’s a force of nature that wants to survive. That’s more interesting. Dustin assumes it wants to control everything because that’s what the D&D character wants, but nothing says he has to be right. Or maybe controlling everything is how it survives, so it needs to continue corrupting everything to perpetuate its existence. If all the beings it’s controlling die, how can this psychic monstrosity continue to inhabit any world?

I hope the Mind Flayer is defeated in Season 3, opening up 4 and 5 for new, even more terrifying threats. I feel like the next step beyond infiltrating the town is burrowing into the people (particularly as we know psychic interaction is possible through Eleven’s watery middle-ground void; that’s where she first met the Demogorgon), which could be cool. Though again, I don’t want the Upside Down to be the source of evil people in Hawkins. Perhaps the Mind Flayer already has a foothold here through the smoky portion of itself that was possessing Will. I wonder where it fled to… If Upside Down beings start taking over Hawkins citizens—or even just altering their perceptions to harm our heroes—that could be the perfect time to bring back the similarly-powered Eight.

 Though I would’ve liked to see more from Mike, Nancy, and Jonathan this year, I thought the writers did a great job of fleshing out the rest of the cast and expanding the story from where they left it in Season 1. They didn’t lock themselves into cliffhangers or open-ended scenes in the season finale this time, so they can do pretty much anything they want. I’m definitely optimistic about where things could go in Season 3 and beyond! We need to see these characters in their status quo so we can see how it changes when the supernatural elements return, so I do hope we get a little more of their normal lives next time; maybe a more expanded season would help. What are the characters’ lives and relationships going to look like in a year? What have the Mind Flayer and the other denizens of the Upside Down been planning? It feels like the stage has been set for a huge showdown and I can’t wait!

[dj-syrup]

The Unnamed, Episode 01x08: An Old End And A New Beginning

At the end of the day, all we are is enough.

Or at least that's what my mother keeps telling me.

My name is Danielle. I'm nine years old, and I'm dying. There's something wrong with my blood and the doctors can't fix it. They won't tell me what it is, because they think it's too complicated for me to understand, but I know better. I think I could understand it.

A man came to visit me earlier today. His name is Joshua. He told me that he works for a group called World of Wishes. His group helps people like to me to enjoy their last few months by granting them a wish.

He handed me a magic wand, and I made my wish.

I wished to become a superhero.

The man said that it might take some time, but that he would get back to me.

This is the story of the night I became a superhero.

"Thank you for calling SJSF, this is Rhiannon speaking, how can I help you?"

"Hi, Rhiannon. This is Joshua at World of Wishes. I was hoping to talk to The Unnamed."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No, but this is important and a bit urgent. Can you just put me through please?"

This dude's tone was starting to get to Rhi. "No, I can't just 'put you through'. What do you need to talk to them about?"

The man on the other end of the line sighed and then acquiesced. "I have a little girl that I've been working with, named Danielle. She's dying of leukemia.

"I work for World of Wishes. We give terminally children a wish, and then we fulfill it."

"Oh, you mean like the Make-a-Wish Foundation?"

"Yes, more or less. We fulfill more extreme wishes. If a kid wants to go to Disneyland or Amsterdam or to a Taylor Swift concert, Make-a-Wish takes care of that. We do bigger stuff, which brings me to why I'm calling today.

"Danielle wanted to be a superhero for her wish. I was hoping that The Unnamed would be able to help with that."

This guy, for some reason, was still rubbing Rhi the wrong way. He had done what they had asked her to do, and so she decided to pass it on.

"Thank you for understanding. I'm connecting you now."

"We still haven't decided if we're taking this mission or not," said Ling. "This really falls outside of our purview. It's not really our thing."

Ms. Port, across the table, rolled her eyes at Ling. "Are you for real?" she asked. "Are you seriously suggesting that we turn down this little girl because 'it's not really our thing?'" Port was making air quotes. "She is dying. Dying!"

Port would have kept going, but for the sake of de-escalating the fight, Donnelly cut in. "Ling, she's right. We have to do this."

"I agree," said Mr. Stewart, walking in late as always. "The case of our terminal superhero is open and closed: we must try, at the very least." He paused. "Ling, don't make me make that an order."

"I want to help her," said Ling. "I really do. But this doesn't make a whole lot of sense. We're not actors! We're not engineers! We spend our time fighting the real bad guys, not long-dead gods who some idiot summoned to help them take over the world."

"What am I, then?" asked Thomas. "Chopped silicon?"

Winn cut in. "Guys, can we focus, please? In two weeks, we have a date with a dying nine-year-old. What do you want to do?"

"We can't make her a superhero permanently," said Ling. "We don't have the time or the resources to do that."

"Now you're talking sense," said Donnelly.

"But we could do a single night," said Thomas. "We can make her a superhero for one night. We can go with her, and we can find some bad guys to rough up."

"Uhh... that's a lawsuit waiting to happen," said Mr. Patrick. "You'll have to find some other way."

"I volunteer as a bad guy," said Sergeant Foster. "My daughter volunteers as well, but she doesn't know it yet."

"That's better," said Mr. Stewart.

"But what about our powers?" asked Donnelly. "What about her powers?"

"Don't worry about that," said Mr. Stewart. "Let the Research and Development teams take care of that. For now, think about who you want to be instead of what you want to be. Bear in mind, though, that the most input you likely get on your suits and powers might be the choice of paint."

Nobody in research and development got much sleep that night.

Or the night after.

Or the night after that.

When this project was completed, each person who worked on it got an "I Survived the 2017 Suit Build" pin, and their choice of whiskey, within reason of course. Most of the people forgot the alcohol, and left it at work, as they stumbled home to get some sleep.

After two weeks, some a lot of patent infringement, and several acquisitions of companies, the suits were ready for primetime.

Thomas' suit ended up being so big that the floor of the hospital room couldn't hold its weight. Thomas tossed the keys to the valet and said to "keep it running". The only response to the valet's blank stare was a shrug from Ling, who looked quite breathtaking in her suit. Donnelly had already followed Thomas inside.

Danielle looked up from her iPad when they walked in. She was truly a pitiful sight: plugged into a half dozen machines, all of them either measuring her life or sustaining it. She smiled at each of them as they walked in, her smile so big that it seemed to fill the room.

She was getting her dying wish.

Based on what they had discussed in the car on the way over, Donnelly took point.

"My name is Caleb," he started, "but you can call me Extraordinario, or just X for short. We heard that there might a superhero in here somewhere, and we think it's you. What do you think, Ling?"

"Ling? Who's Ling?" asked Ling.

"Sorry, Li- Miss Z. Danielle, this is Miss Z. She's one of the other superheroes here. What do you think, Miss Z?"

"Hmm... I don't know, X," said Ling, teasingly, "But I think it's worth checking."

"You're teasing," said Danielle, laughing. "I know you guys would come. Joshua said you would come."

"Did he?" asked Donnelly. "Well, I guess that answers that question."

"What he didn't say was how you guys were going to take me. You're not planning on bringing all of this with us, are you?"

Thomas stepped out into the hallway and beckoned to the two technicians waiting for him. They wheeled their masterpiece: a suit that was capable of supporting her life every bit as well as the machines, as well as allowing her to run and jump like she used to.

And it truly was a masterpiece: an outer skin of carbon fiber, with a titanium exoskeleton that supported Danielle's weight and allowed her to move freely. The medical instruments had been miniaturized and placed inside the suit on her back, although she would not feel their weight. The helmet was made of automotive glass, and the airtight nature of the suit meant that Danielle would not need her breathing tubes. Inside this suit, she could run and jump and look like every other child.

But Danielle, smart though she was, did not know any of this. Her first reaction was one of glee.

"It's blue! How did you know that was my favorite color?"

"Well, Josh told you some things, right?" asked Ling. When Danielle nodded, Ling continued. "Josh told us some things too."

"And I don't need any of this?" She gestured to the equipment around her.

"No, sweetie," said Ling. "This suit will do the jobs of all of this stuff."

Donnelly recoiled slightly. He had never known Ling to use the word "sweetie", or any other term of endearment. Her experience, trying to rescue her parents from The People's Republic of China, had changed her in ways that Donnelly was still figuring out.

"Are you ready?" asked Donnelly, getting his wits back about him.

"I'm ready," said Danielle. "Let's go."

The technicians and doctors, both from SJSF and the hospital, spent over an hour fitting Danielle into the suit. When they were ready, they departed.

"Mr. X," said Danielle, as they were walking towards the parking lot, "what are your superpowers?"

"I'm not supposed to use them around hospitals," said Donnelly. "They don't want me giving people heart attacks. Let's get a ways out and I'll show you."

Thomas had to hang back so that he could get into his own suit.

And what a suit it was. The team that built it referred to it as The Bear, primarily because it looked like one. It could stand and walk around, under the control of its driver, and while standing it was almost ten feet tall. It could also stand on four legs, and when it did, a set of wheels extended that allowed the whole suit to roll. The general impression is that the Iron Man suit and a polar bear had a rather angular baby, and that baby was given two pairs of roller skates.

And, of course, it was well armored. The whole thing was covered in a half inch of armor steel, and the glass canopy covering Thomas' head was made of bulletproof glass.

Donnelly had kept walking for three or four paces before he realized that Danielle was no longer next to him. She had stopped short upon seeing Thomas in his suit and had been unable to move or talk since then.

And Donnelly could see it her eyes; this was the moment when it became real to her. She knew that this wasn't real, that this was just an act for her, but at this point, her awe overcame her distrust and it became real.

Tonight was going to be a good night.

Foster had talked to a few of his buddies, and they had set up a closed course. Over the course of the night, the team was going to stop a mugging, prevent a bank robbery, and stop Dr. Picard's evil plan to take over the world with cybernetic soldiers.

While Thomas' Bear was as fast as most cars, Ling and Donnelly couldn't just run to keep up, and so they had their own cars. Ling was riding a Kawasaki Ninja, a small, fast street motorcycle (which she already owned, and was her ride to work before The Nest had been built). Donnelly borrowed a convertible Chevy Camaro from Mr. Stewart's lot.

They drove from the hospital to the start of the closed course with Danielle securely mounted to Thomas' back. While she was otherwise occupied with riding a giant metal bear at 75 MPH, Ling put in her Bluetooth headset and started talking to Winn and Port.

"Is Foster's buddy ready for the mugging?" asked Ling?

"Yes," replied Port. "We're all set up here and ready to go, thank you for asking."

"I'm sorry," said Ling. "I've had a bit on my mind today. I'm concerned about this kid. She's innocent and really sweet, and I don't want to mess this up."

Port was not used to any level of emotional intelligence -- or emotion of any kind, really -- from Ling and didn't speak again for a few moments.

"Alright, Ling, you're approaching the start of the closed course," said Winn. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, I'm ready."

"Then Godspeed. We'll see you on the other side."

The com line went silent at this point, but Ling knew that Port and Winn were still on the line, listening to everything going on and ready to help at a moment's notice. Ling took comfort in this.

There was a blue line spray painted across the street. That was the start of the closed course.

It was showtime.

Danielle dismounted and ran over to Donnelly and Ling. "That was awesome!" She was all smiles. "Donnelly was telling me about your powers on the way over. Is it true that you can lift a car, Mr. X?"

By way of an answer, Donnelly walked over to a car, and when he had located the right one, slipped his hands under it and pulled the back bumper three or four feet off the ground. He looked over at Danielle, smiled, and then set it down.

"I'm also bulletproof, and I can shoot lasers out of my eyes."

"Ooh, ooh, can you fly?"

"No, but I can jump really high."

"And you, Miss Z. I heard you're a human weapon. What is that like?"

"It's as awesome as it sounds," said Ling, trying her best to sound positive.

In the quiet of a city at sundown, Danielle thought she could hear a woman crying and an angry man shouting at her.

In reality, she was hearing audio piped through the Dolby Atmos sound system installed in the collar of her suit. For one of her superpowers, the team had given her enhanced hearing.

"Hey, guys?" said Danielle. "Did you hear that?"

All three of them turned to her and said in unison, "Hear what?"

"I heard something. It's coming from over there."

And she led quickly to a dark alley until all three of them could hear the same thing she had: the sound of a woman being mugged. They came to the alley right before the woman handed the thief her purse.

"Hey," said Danielle, "what do you think you're doing?"

The thief, seeing the four superheroes, ran.

The four gave chase, Danielle leading the way. Her suit gave her the strength to run and keep up with the rest of them, something she would not have been able to do in her weakened state without help.

As the thief rounded a corner, Donnelly put his hand to his temple and shot a laser from his eyes. He missed, but he put a scorch mark on a building in front of the robber.

This was exactly as it was planned.

"Stop!" yelled Ling. "I could have killed you a dozen times by now if I wanted to. Just give us the purse back; we don't want to hurt you."

The man did stop, and Danielle, not needing an invitation, walked over to him. "The purse." It was a command, regal as a nine-year-old could make it.

The man gave her the purse.

And then Danielle kicked him in the shins.

Donnelly gave the old woman a ride home. It was the least he could do, after roping his mother into something like this.

"I'm glad to see you doing something with your life, son."

"I've been doing something with my life for most of my life now," replied Donnelly. "I'm glad to be doing something good now, though."

"You know what I mean, Caleb."

"I know what you mean, Mom. Thanks for coming along on this crazy caper."

"You're welcome. Be safe out there, alright?"

"I will, Mom."

She got out, and Donnelly waited until she was inside before leaving.

"You'll have to thank your buddy, Foster," said Ling into her microphone while en route to Donnelly's mom's place.

Port handed Foster a mic. He was still at The Nest, awaiting his part in the planned bank robbery. "I would, Ling, but that wasn't my buddy. I'm not sure what the story is."

"Wait," said Port, "if that wasn't your friend, then who was it?"

"I was about to ask the same thing," said Ling.

"I don't know," said Foster, "But I'll figure it out."

"You have to be at the bank in half an hour," reminded Port.

"Hey, Winn?" called Foster.

Winn rolled her eyes. She had been listening to the entire conversation and knew exactly what Foster was going to ask. "Hey, Winn" was quickly becoming her least favorite phrase in the English language.

Donnelly had not heard this conversation. He was listening to his mother, not to his comlink.

It should be further noted that Winn had her hands full. The alley chase had been planned and had only required a single special effect: the laser that came from Donnelly's eyes. The bank robbery was much more complicated. There was a lot that could go wrong, stemming entirely from the fact that there was much less control involved.

The question of who had been doing the mugging would have to wait. Things went off without a hitch, didn't they? Winn now had to work with Port and the rest of the team to make sure the rest of the night went as smoothly.

"Donnelly, Ling, Thomas, are you guys ready?" asked Port.

Ling responded. "Yes. We're in place, ready to head over to the bank as soon as things are ready there."

"Sounds good. I'm routing the 911 call to all... now."

The speakers in Thomas' suit crackled, along with the radios in Ling's ear and Donnelly's jawbone. "We have a 487 in progress, 33 Liberty Street, Financial District, Manhattan."

"That's a bank robbery," said Donnelly, "and that's the address for the Federal Reserve Bank. You guys want to stop a bank robbery?"

His question was greeted with enthusiasm on all sides.

"Then let's go!"

Donnelly got into his Camaro, Ling got on her bike, and Danielle latched onto Thomas' back. Within seconds, they were all soaring across the pavement, headed toward what Danielle thought was the Federal Reserve. It wasn't, but she didn't know that.

"Hey, Donnelly?" asked Port, via comlink.

"Wassup?"

"Wassup? What the... never mind. Foster just went over to join the bank robbery, but just after he arrived, his com went dead. I've got a bad feeling; something is going on here that we don't know about."

Donnelly got serious very quickly. "What are you suggesting?"

"Let's scrub the bank robbery. Skip it. Tell Danielle something -- give me a minute to figure it out -- and then go straight to the final scene."

"Foster probably just forgot to put batteries in his walkie-talkie or something."

"Okay, but we have three other guys in there, and I haven't been able to reach any of them either."

"That's fishy."

"You're telling me."

"Well, someone needs to go and check on them either way."

"We could just let the police handle it," said Port.

"Eh... We're already on the way. Besides, what are you going to tell the police? 'Hi, I work for a secret organization, and we planned a fake bank robbery, but something went wrong, can you go check on our guys?' No, we can handle this."

"For once," said Ling, "I agree with Donnelly. Let's not bother the donut brokers tonight."

"What does Thomas say?" asked Port.

Thomas was talking to Danielle about the bank that was being robbed and while he could hear the conversation, he couldn't answer. Ling pulled up next to him on her bike, and Thomas nodded at her.

"I have a nod from Thomas. We're all in agreement."

"Okay, then. I'll see what information I can give you before you get there."

Donnelly was already doing 70 on a city street. He started wondering if it was safe to go faster than that.

The four arrived at the bank -- a small branch that Mr. Stewart had paid a small fortune to use -- and dismounted. Port and Winn had been unable to provide any useful information about the state of the bank or the people in it.

And so they walked in, Ling leading the way with her Mossberg 500 drawn. Thomas was rolling; it was quieter than walking.

Foster was working with his crew, doing exactly what they had planned: cracking the vault. The plan was that the vault would come open as soon as the four walked into the building.

They paused for a moment.

The vault would come open any second now. If it did, then that was their cue: everything was fine, the robbers just weren't answering their radios for some reason.

The vault didn't come open.

Thomas got on his mic, and after cutting Danielle out of the loop, he started explaining the situation to Winn and Port.

"Why can't I hear Bear?" Danielle asked Donnelly.

"He's talking to our friends at headquarters. Something's not quite right and we're trying to figure it out."

"Oh. Okay. What's not working right?"

"The robbers can't seem to get the vault open. We're supposed to wait to stop them until they have the vault open."

"Why? Can't we just stop them now?"

Donnelly looked at Ling.

Port spoke over Donnelly's jawbone piece. "I don't recommend that. We don't know what's going on here."

Donnelly looked back to Danielle. "We need to follow the plan."

Danielle looked a little disappointed but did not argue.

Winn got back on the communication loop. "So here's the deal. Somehow, we've had multiple equipment failures, both with the radios and with the mechanism that is supposed to open the vault door. The new plan is this: engage them before the door opens since we don't think it's going to. Thomas, put Danielle on your back and go straight in. Ling, take the left flank. Donnelly, the right. Remember that these people know you're coming. Donnelly, use your powers only when we tell you to. Ling, Thomas, try not to hurt anyone, including yourselves?"

Donnelly and Ling nodded, and Thomas relayed their agreement.

"Sounds good. I'm going to start setting up for the final act, but if you need me I still have my earpiece in."

After Thomas and Donnelly had explained the plan to Danielle, they got set up, and then they attacked.

Things went wrong almost immediately. Foster just stood there, not doing anything, while his buddies started taking very real swipes at Donnelly and Ling.

"Hey, Winn-" Thomas had gotten just a couple words out when an EMP wiped out the electronics in his suit, including his radio.

Donnelly's skin had shielded his transmitter a little bit, and he immediately picked up where Thomas had left off while fending off his attackers. "Something is very wrong here, Winn. These are not the people we were expecting, and they are not sticking to the script. We need-" A new man had entered the fray without Donnelly noticing, and his right hook knocked Donnelly speechless. His attackers, taking advantage of his suddenly weakened state, pinned him to the ground and zip-tied his hands and feet together.

Ling, ever the fighter, had broken noses, jaws, and kneecaps, including the removal of several of her attackers' teeth. (She would have to add them to her collection.) Unfortunately, 5 against 1 was long odds for even someone like her and she quickly found herself tied in much the same manner as Donnelly.

The new man stood, wiped the dust from his suit, and addressed the four superheroes in a soft, melodious voice.

"Welcome, Mister Donnelly, Mister Thomas, Miss Ling, and Miss Danielle. Welcome to my bank."

Ling spat out a mouthful of blood and said, "This isn't your bank."

The man laughed, a high, eerie laugh. "It is tonight.

"For a group that calls itself 'The Unnamed'," he used air quotes, "finding you was not very hard. I remember the first time I ran across your organization, almost a year ago when you dealt with a gay conversion facility. I was impressed then, and I have been impressed by your work ever since. Do you remember that man you framed?"

Ling nodded.

"I wondered if you ever felt any guilt about that. But no matter.

"After watching your work for a while, something occurred to me. Yes, at the end of the day, it's you and Donnelly getting stuff done. But you must have a massive support crew. I mean, somebody connected the dots about the drugs going through that school. I can only imagine how much time and energy that took.

"But I grew weary of your constant insistence on serving this arbitrary idea of 'the greater good'. You had the ability to make millions, perhaps billions of dollars, but you spent your time getting dates for teenagers and breaking up Neo-Nazi organizations!

"There is no greater good, only greater profits."

"Who are you?" asked Ling.

"My name is John. I work for a company called Bell Medical. We make everything from bandages to prosthetic legs. I've had my engineers working for years to create the next generation of the wheelchair, something that would restore complete mobility, instead of being constrained by a set of wheels. But they couldn't do it, they said. The costs were too high. The power sources didn't exist.

"And I knew that I couldn't just ask you to build it. I knew that if you built it, you would insist on giving it out for free or something stupid like that. I wanted it for myself, and I wanted you to design it."

"So you conned us into this, using a little girl dying of cancer?"

"Yes."

Ling at this point called John a number of foul and profane names, such that even I, your narrator, will not repeat them.

When she was done, he kept talking.

"Danielle is going with me now. She only has a week left, at most, and her body will be returned to her family as soon after her death as possible."

Donnelly stood up, shook himself off, and looked John in the eye.

"You'll take that girl over my dead body."

Ling saw him, standing tall, bleeding, bruised, soaked in what she hoped was his attackers' blood. He was not thinking clearly, and not quite himself (the blow to his head had knocked some sense out of him) but even in his weakened state, she found him to be the most regal sight she had ever laid eyes on.

"That can be arranged."

John drew a gun from the small of his back and shot Donnelly in the forehead.

Ling, who was kind of halfway up, fell back down and screeched her misery into the linoleum floor of the bank.

John walked over to Thomas, pulled Danielle off of his back, handed her to his goons, stepped over Donnelly's bleeding body and exited the building. Thomas could not exit his suit unless his suit had power, and he sat there, inside his suit, watching helplessly.

Somewhere, deep inside Ling, a fire kindled. This man had killed her friend he was going to die.

Without quite knowing how she did it, she pulled her hands out of the zip-ties, cut her feet loose with one of her knives, and grabbed her Mossberg 500 on the way out the door.

Always, Ling had exercised some level of constraint. She would have none tonight.

"STOP!" she screamed, yelling after John and his goons. "Stop, you filth, you murderers of men and children! Stop, you lousy, flea-bitten pieces of sewage!"

Her voice caught their attention, and her gun held it. They looked scared for a moment.

And then, in a rush of light and sound, the police arrived. Suddenly, the place was swarming with every police officer in a twenty-block radius, along with a SWAT team that had been scrambled from the NYPD central station.

The goons got out of their SUVs, laid down on the ground, and put their hands above their heads. John was thrown across the hood of a police cruiser.

It was over.

Ling felt very tired all of a sudden, and the concrete rushed up to meet her...

The ambulance pronounced Donnelly dead on arrival. Time of death was 10:42 PM.

Danielle died three days later, surrounded by her friends and family. Ling was ill and couldn't be there, but Winn, Port, Thomas, Sergeant Foster, Zach, Kira and Mr. Stewart were all there.

The doctors said that while her experience with The Unnamed hadn't helped her health, it probably didn't hurt her health either. The engineering team took a kind of quiet pride in that.

Donnelly's sacrifice had ensured that both Ling and Danielle walked away from the bank, by stalling for time enough to let the police arrive.

They were buried at the same funeral, Donnelly and Danielle. It seemed right.

Several days after the funeral, once Ling was feeling better, she tracked down Donnelly's boyfriend.

"You have a right to know why Donnelly died."

"I know why Donnelly died."

"No, you know how he died. I want you to know why he died."

And Ling told him about the wonderful things that Donnelly had done.

She told him about the gay conversion facility that he took down.

She told him about the drug ring at Zach's school.

She told him about the bomber he had found, and the girl who found her first real love with his help. She told him about their trip to Vietnam, about sneaking into China.

And she told him a story about a girl named Danielle, and about how in his last moments Caleb Donnelly was strong and regal and brave, and how his last words defended an innocent girl.

And she cried, and he cried, and together they mourned the loss of their best friend.

The Unnamed broke up in the months after Donnelly's death. Ling was never quite the same again. None of them were, really. They all drifted and grieved and got on with their lives. Mr. Stewart kept his think tank together, and together they brought the suit they had designed for Danielle to a much larger audience. They named it after her, and they sold it for the cost of parts and labor.

A year later, Ling received a letter in the mail. It had a return address in Seattle, Washington, but no name.

"Dear Mx. Zhi Ling," it read,

"We have heard of your actions on May 1st, 2017, and we have been watching you since. We run an alternative supermarket in the Seattle area and are hiring a security director.

"We want you to take this position. You have shown time and time again an ability to handle unforeseen situations with grace and integrity, and there is no-one else we would rather have.

"Please state your intentions to this letter, and it will relay your words back to us.

"Yours truly, Andrea Hopkirk, Store Manager at Supernatural Supermarket."

Ling was flabbergasted. She considered it for a few minutes, and then, without meaning to say anything out loud, said, "I guess it's worth a look."

The letter folded itself into an origami eagle and flew away.

Ling had no words for that. She simply thought she had gone insane.

But she had not. As she would soon find out, the store was real, and it truly was supernatural. It was a place where vampires, dragons, ghosts, werewolves, griffins, shades, and other forms of not-officially-recognized life could come and do their shopping.

And Ling? Why, she was to be in charge of protecting it.

To the end of her days, Ling never forgot about Donnelly. He was sweet, and kind, and good. And when, in her advanced age, she went the way of all the earth, she whispered below her breath, "I'm coming Donnelly, I'm coming."

And that brings this series to a close. I hope you all enjoyed reading it. Ling will be returning to this blog for my next series, Supernatural Supermarket.

I am going on hiatus for the next three months. I have some responsibilities to take care of that prevent me from writing.

I’ll see you all around Valentine's Day!

[irphanfic]

Moonshot - Chapter 9

I’m finally back with Moonshot! Yay! I’m sorry if the updates are getting slower, but this week has been a bit crazy and I’m struggling a bit more than usual to write so I’m sorry.

Anyways, as always, any type of feedback is welcome!

summary: Phil had a feeling that this Friday was going to be different.

That didn’t mean he was ready to meet his favourite baseball player, Daniel Howell, while he was cleaning the windows of a building. 

or the au in which Phil is a shy window cleaner and Dan is a famous baseball player. This is their story.

words: 3.1k

no trigger warnings

Read on ao3 - (x)

Chapters: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8

Chapter 9: Photographs

Wednesday came and Phil was dreading going to work. Today Dan was leaving for that 'secret project' and Phil didn't want to face the fact that he wouldn't be seeing him in a week.

They spent yesterday night talking over the phone till Phil yawned like three times in less than a minute and decided it was time to say goodbye. A few other 'I'll miss you' and 'have a nice time' were exchanged, as if none of them wanted to stop talking to the other.

Sighing, Phil got ready for day and walked calmly to his work, enjoying the nice morning sun that was colouring the tall buildings in pretty oranges and yellows.

As he had done so many times, he put on his earphones and started cleaning the tall windows that were  becoming too familiar to his liking.

Sooner than expected, Phil found himself at the top floor, smiling a bit at the familiar sightings. Dan had left his flat in a bit of a mess; a few socks, a pair of trousers and two t-shirts lying on the carpeted floor. The blue eyed guessed it was because Dan was such a 'last-minute' guy he probably did his suitcase after their phonecall.

Phil smiled and shook his head, 'This guy'.

Sighing rather loudly, knowing that no one could hear him up there, Phil took out his cleaning products and was about to spray them into the windows when he spotted something stuck to them.

Deciding to investigate, Phil walked towards whatever that was, laughing as he saw a row of polaroid pictures, each one a Dan selfie where he kept making cute or 'ugly' faces, one word written  with black marker at the bottom white space of them, the familiar hand writting bringing a few flashbacks onto his mind.

Admiring each photograph Phil read every word, arranging them into a proper sentece:

'So – you – don't – forget – this – ugly – face. – See – you – soon. – ♥'

Phil wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. This was the sweetest thing someone had made for him.

Dan was such a considerate guy. He kept surprising Phil in many ways no one had ever done before and he really found this details endearing,

''Ugly face, he says, ugh.'' Phil said to himself, still staring at the small pictures, appreciating the  bush of curls and deep brown eyes that he was starting to miss already.

Could this week be over, already?

______________

It was around lunch time when Dan landed in a cloudy Ireland, quickly hoping into the car the company had ready for him just outside the airport and driving to a very lively rural-looking city. Once he left the suitcase in his hotel bedroom, the same driver drove Dan to the location where he would be working.

After almost half an hour, a beautiful landscape appeared in front of his eyes. A hill full of different tones of greens with multiple spots of lilac and yellow flowers that the wind was calmly moving, leaving Dan breathless at the sight.

Dan got out of the car, admiring the scenery in front of him. 'I would love to come here with Phil.' he thought. They would love this, it was so nice. Dan was already thinking of coming here with a blanket and spend the day with his head on Phil's lap as the blue eyed read to him for hours. Yeah, it seemed like a perfect date.

Suddenly, a strong voice startled him, ''Dan Howell, long time no see!''

Already smiling, Dan turned around only to see Peter Wright. He had been the director of the last campaign and it seemed like he was the one for this new one too. Great, at least a familiar face Dan could spot around.

Dan greeted him back which led to a quick conversation while Peter showed Dan around and what he wanted to do for this campaign.

Apparently, he and his modeling partner Claire would be trying different outfits of their new  clothing range. They wanted to keep a 'rustic aesthetic' as Peter described, so that's why the landscape was a must.

''Also, we want you and Claire act like star-crossed lover. Runaways who left their actual lives to continue with their love somewhere else, what leads us to living a non-approved romance in a rural village. Yeah, a bit weird concept but you will see. Expect a few sensual shots in the next few days but nothing that you haven't done before, of course,'' Peter mentioned.

Dan almost frowned but somehow managed to control his hace expressions. He could act like a 'lover' with Claire, he had done that a few times in the past, but would he be comfortable now that he was almost in a relationship with Phil? Well, it was acting. And, believe it or not, acting had always been one of Dan's passions and even though it could be a bit pretentious, he considered himself a pretty good actor at this point.

''We will make a few test-photos today and tomorrow, see what light settings, make-up and more we will work with so we can work properly in the next few days,'' Peter said, finally arriving to an open space with a few tents where a crew was franatically running around.

Peter showed Dan what would be his changing and lounging room and left him for a few minutes till he came back with Claire Vickard, who had been one of the best tennis players in the last three years. It was really a privilege to work with someone so professional.

''Dan Howell, nice to finally meet you. Claire Vickard,'' she showed him a small smile and handed him a hand which he shook.

''Hello Claire, nice to meet you too,'' Dan repeated, also smiling.

Once Peter pitched them three into a conversation Dan's mind wandered till his eyes landed on Claire.

She was tall, not as tall as Dan, but she had a pretty good height that seemed to heighten thanks to her black and sleek ponytail letting him see her face features better, making her clear green eyes look even greener.

'They are not like Phil's' Dan almost groaned at the though. Yeah, her eyes might be greener than Phil's, but her features reminded him so much of the window cleaner it wouldn't be that easy to forget about said person.

It was going to be difficult. Pretty difficult.

______________

The day was finally over. It was 9pm and Phil had managed to have a productive afternoon of developing ideas that had potential to be a proper novel, wiriting whatever came into his mind and writing a few paraghaphs or pages at least. After a nice dinner and some cereal he decided to just lay on his bed watching a movie on his laptop, browsing to see which one he could pick that he hadn't watched yet.

He had messaged Dan earlier, thanking him for the pictures and reminidng him he didn't have 'an ugly face' but he hadn't gotten any response yet, meaning he was busy or simply wanted to disconnect from the world a bit.

As if reading his mind, his phone vibrated, quickly picking it up from his nightsand Phil saw a new message from Dan, 'can you skype? wanna see you.'

'Sure, let me call you.'

Phil closed his movie folder and opened Skype, easily calling Dan who after a minute appeared on the screen, almost in the same position as Phil, leaning against the headboard of what seemed a king sized bed, some pillows supporting his back. Dan's smiley face was tinted with the yellow light coming from a nightstand lamp, making his black t-shirt stand out even more.

''Hi'' Phil said shyly, regarding the old pyjamas he was wearing, not having even tought about changing.

''Hello, how was your day?'' Dan asked from the other side, his voice sounded happy but tired, Phil hoped he wasn't keeping him up even though Dan had been the one to ask to Skype.

''Nah, nothing much, just went to work and saw your super ugly pictures stuck to the windows.'' Phil joked, making them both chuckle, ''But, it was a very nice surprise, so thank you so much.'' he said sincerely.

''You're welcome. I wanted to make something nice for you since you are letting me read your manuscript which, by the way, it's going pretty well. It has me very intrigued.'' Dan picked up the stack of papers from the nightstand and showed it to Phil. He could spot a bright green post-it note marking Dan's reading. He noticed it wasn't very advanced, but enough to at least have read two chapters.

''Yeah? Are you liking it so far?'' Phil asked worried about his response.

''I'm really liking it. It has the perfect amount of mystery and sci-fi elements I like in a novel,'' Dan said.

Phil pulled a surprised face. Dan was enjoying his novel and he couldn't be happier. ''yeah? You really like it? You are not just saying it because it's me, right?''

''Of course not! I think this is your opportunity, Phil. This is good, like, really good.''

''Tell that to publishing houses... All I have received are rejection emails,'' Phil muttered under his breath, not knowing if Dan had heard.  

''Believe me, I think this is your big chance. Just, wait a bit more, I'm sure you will get good news soon,'' Dan said, giving him a smile, hoping Phil would cheer up a bit.

''I hope so, it has been so difficult... I have been writing since I finished my degree and I just don't know anymore... Maybe writing isn't for me, after all,'' Phil didn't really want to make this Skype call so upseting, but he needed to talk about it and Dan seemed like he was willing to listen to him and give him all support he needed.

''Phil, listen, writing is your passion. Writing is your definitely your thing. You of all people deserve to be an author. And you will become one, I know. It might take a bit more of time but believe me, you will make it.''

''Thank you,'' Phil croaked out, his voice a bit emotional. Dan's encouraging words were all he needed, ''I really needed to hear that.''

''You, Phil Lester, will be a future author, okay?'' Dan repeated.

Phil nodded, trying to get those words inside his brain. ''I'm sorry for ranting, I just, I felt like I needed to get that out of my chest...''

''Hey, don't worry, you can count on me for everything.'' Dan said, his beautiful smile not fading from his face. Oh, how he wished he could be with Dan now, cuddling and maybe kissing under the blankets...

''I wish I could hug you right now.'' Phil whispered.

''I wish I could hug you too.'' Dan repeated in the same tone, grabbing one of the throw pillows he had on his bed and clutching it to his chest, yawning in the process.

Phil decided it was time to go to bed. He didn't want to keep Dan up much longer, he must had had a long day in this 'secret project' and sure he needed to rest.

''You're tired, talk to you tomorrow?'' Phil suggested, offering him a small smile.He saw Dan tried to fight his tiredness, but another yawn made him backtrack.

''Okay, good night, Phil.'' Dan waved at him, ''Miss you.''

''Miss you too, Dan'' Phil managed to say before they hung up.

Needless to say they both fell asleep hugging a pillow as close to them as possible.

______________

The rest of the week went calm for Dan. He found it really easy to work with Claire since she was so professional. Peter would shout phrases like 'hands lower!', 'caress each other's face, yeah that's it!' and they acted it as natural as it could get. While they were resting they took time to know the other, bonding so well and quickly at the same time Dan could consider Claire a friend already.

Also, he and Phil had been Skyping each night to speak about everything and nothing. Dan managed to read a bit more of Phil's manuscript everyday, even if it was just a few pages, but he really was enjoying the story.

Phil didn't get enough credit, that for sure. Oh, boy. How much he missed him.

It was Monday evening now and they were going to a lake to shoot a few of Peter's famous 'sensual photos' since he wanted to picture a ''lustful swimming sunset scene'' as he had expressed yesterday.

The lake indeed was also as beautiful as the field they had been working on till now. Dark water reaching the surprising sandy shore with tall rocky mountains to they right and left, making shadows along the water thanks to the now orange sunlight that reached the scenenery.

So, after takinga  few pictures to send later to Phil, Dan did as he was told, put on the swimsuit he was supposed to wear and left his changing room, spotting Claire in her bikini already waiting for him.

''How are you so fast on the field and so slow at changing clothes, uh?'' Claire teased him, making the both chuckle.

''Must be a baseball player thing, I guess,'' Dan replied, not managing to say anything else since Peter called at them both to go into the water.

It was cold (it was freaking Ireland, of course it was cold!) and both of them were shivering at first, but after Peter told them to swim around bit at first it was okay.

''Okay, we will do a few out of the water shots first and them underwater, fine with that?'' eh director said, who received a quick nod from both of the athletes.

Dan and Claire swam around, 'flirting' as they had been doing with the other pictures before, splashing water and giving suggestive glances to each other. Peter shouted from the shore that they needed to get closer and act a bit more 'lustful' so Claire laced her arms around Dan's neck and Dan's hands traveled to her waist, standing up with their feet touching the sand unterwater, the water surrounding them by their thighs.

Claire trailed a few kisses along Dan's jaw, reaching his ear and whispering silly things as Dan tried not to laugh, keeping a serious face for the shake of the shoot and deciding to move his mouth down to Claire's shoulder, leaving a few kisses there. Dan tried to pull her closer but somehow managed to make them both lose their balance, sending them both splashing into the water, instantly laughing.

They heard Peter's laugh cut the repetive clicking of the camera sutter from the shore, probably meaning they should be done with this part of the shot, ''Okay, let's do the underwater shoots before the light fades''.

Peter instructed them once again, meaning one of his helpers would be going underwater with them and these shots would involve kissing, like 'proper kissing, tongue included'.

When Dan heard those words he wanted to believe he hadn't heard the right. 'Proper kissing' meant the opposite to chaste-like pecks on cheeks, of course. It was acting and he knew it but Phil... Dan was sure that by the time the campaign pictures were out he would have already asked Phil to be his boyfriend, he was sure of it, so it should be fine.

''You okay, Dan? I hope I'm not that horrible to kiss!'' Claire said jokingly.

Dan chuckled. He would have told Claire about Phil, he would have, but he wasn't sure if Phil would have wanted that, ''It's just that I wasn't expecting more kissing but yeah, I'm sure you will be... okay to kiss'' he teased, getting a fake offended huff from Claire, who looked like she wanted to say something else but Peter's words cut her off.

''You two, stop bickering and back into the water, you will start kissing out of it and slowly submerge into the water. Once you feel oxygen is necessary, just come up. We can repeat it a few times, understood?''

They both nodded, knowing there wasn't any other alternative to Peter's words. A bit awkwardly, they walked back into the water, swimming further than before and latching into each other for balance, staring at each other's eyes.

Dan looked into Claire's green eyes and wet black hair, her features reminding him once again how much he wished he was with Phil right now... Maybe if Dan imagined he was with Phil instead...

He felt Claire's arms tighten around his neck, bringing him a bit closer so he did the same, pressing their foreheads together and closing his eyes before slowly pressing their lips together. Dan felt Claire bit his lower lip for entrance, which he allowed for a while imagining it was Phil who he was kissing.

Phil and only Phil.

Dan grabbed Claire's hips a bit tighter before sending them both purposely under the water, trying to keep the kiss passionate and professional as possible as long as their lungs allowed them too.

After a while, oxygen became necessary so they separated their mouths and rapidly swam back up, breathing for air as they once again held each other for balance.

Heavily inhaling and exhaling, Dan looked at Claire, remainding his brain that she wasn't Phil.

She. Was. Not. Phil.

Dan's chest felt heavy. He just wanted to see Phil now, be close to him so he could feel better about all of this but he knew that was going to be impossible. He just wanted to arrive to the hotel and curl up under the blankets while he skyped the blue eyed, seeing his tired and sleepy face across the crappy webcam as he had done everyday since Wednesday.

Suddenly he heard Peter's voice calling them, saying that they were done for today so they could go back to their hotel, meaning the day was finally over.

So, with a quick 'goodbye, see you tomorrow' to Claire, Dan walked into his changing room, discarding the wet swimsuit before putting back his comfy sweatshirt and jeans, hoping into the car that drove him to his lonely hotel bedroom.

Once he arrived Dan threw himself on the bed and was ready to text Phil when a new message from said person popped into the screen, 'Work was horrible today, I'm extremely tired to Skype today, I'm sorry :(  but talk to you tomorrow? :)'

Dan was a bit disappointed but he understood. Mondays for Phil were pretty much tiring and he guessed he was going to bed early, so even though Dan felt the need to see him he understood. They could talk tomorrow anyways, he could live with that.

'Sure, no worries. We can Skype tomorrow if you are not that tired.' Dan replied, deciding to type a 'Good night. Miss you. ♥' to finish his message, but no response came in, meaning for sure Phil had fallen already asleep.

Chapter 10

[voicedbybetheyre]

My #Trypod Recommendations: #AudioDrama April Edition (Pt.2)

I felt so lazy when I didn’t finish this in time for March. Then #AudioDramaApril came along, which is perfect because this is an underrated audio drama list!

*Feel free to ask for any trigger/content warnings. My memory can be a little spotty but if you have a specific thing you are trying to avoid I’ll definitely make sure to accurately warn show(s) you want to try*

Adventures of Mechabetty

“ Just a small town girl turned giant cyborg to fight off an alien invasion.”

A campy retrofuturistic adventure which teaches you that with enough spunk and can-do attitude you too can deal with colonizers from another world and the following political implications it would have on a Cold War-era Earth! Also, the musical segments they had early on are really rad and the fake commercials that replaced them are the funniest I ever heard done on a podcast.  I’ve gotten back to listen to it as part of self-care.

This is one of the most underrated shows out there and I think it’s just that the audience is small at the moment.  So here I am listing it first because I really think it’s the first everyone should check out!

The Lesbian Romantic

“The Lesbian Romantic is a weekly podcast with lesbian romance stories. It’s like listening to an audiobook, but more intense! (All episodes of The Lesbian Romantic Podcast are for mature audiences only)”

This podcast is a fantastic anthology series of different serialized lesbian romance stories, written and narrated by the wonderful Sigrid. There’s been an exciting thirteen-part sci-fi adventure (The Space Story) and the long-running story of two women in tech that practically covers moment to moment of their growing relationship (The Blogger Story).  Frankly, there aren’t a lot of podcasts where exploring a lesbian (or sapphic) relationship as the primary storyline, and this one is a shining example of the romance genre. There’s a mix of sweetness and suspense that never becomes too sentimental or melodramatic, and I cannot wait for the next story.

Also a lot of the outros involves her being silly and playing around with sound effects and publicly available music,which is another reason to find Sigrid charming, especially after a particularly stressful twist. 

This is definitely one of my favorites and it’s so underrated!!!

Mabel

“a podcast about ghosts, family secrets, strange houses, and missed connections.”

There’s a lot that can be said of Mabel, put my instinctive reaction is to categorize it as podcast poetry. These anxious voicemails about a haunted house are unexpectedly atmospheric as the spell of Anna and Mabel’s situation takes hold. (Also……….QUEER!!!).  You really need to listen to understand and I would say get to it

Uncanny County

“Mystical truck drivers. Robots gone haywire. Killer clown demons. And pie. So. Much. Pie. This quirky, darkly comic, Southwestern-flavored anthology brings you a new paranormal audio play every month. Sit back, relax, and hold on tight. Because you’re about to take a quick detour…through Uncanny County.”

A collection of Southwestern stories on the quirky side of horror that can be best summed up by the trailer. Basically a less moralistic Twilight Zone that thrives on the absurdly unsettling and I can’t wait for it to come each month!

Favorites (since its an anthology): “Mother Loves You”, “Coulrophobia”, “Rainbow Magic Kittens”

Swings and Roundabouts

“Avery Edison (the person writing this right now) is pretending that she’s written software that turns her computer into a therapist. Obviously, that’s not possible with today’s technology, but it’s a great way to have another voice on her podcast without having to surrender control to an actual human being. With the conceit that these episodes collect recordings of therapy sessions, readings of emails, and tappings of phone calls, Avery (again, that’s me) is attempting to do something new and different. Hopefully along the way she (I) also makes it entertaining.”

Avery Edison is a very self-aware British comidienne who naturally when making a podcast reflecting on her younger days creates a metanarrative to the point where it’s meta about being a metanarrative. You would think the clear construction of her stories from her life would give it too much artificiality, but it only serves to zero in on the truth behind it all.  I really wasn’t sure what to expect going in, but come for Avery’s snark (I died hearing her fake ads for podcast sponsers) but stay for Avery’s heart. There’s only been four episodes for awhile now, but it’s been made clear she hasn’t abandoned the series and could use the support to keep it going.

Strange N Unusual Productions

“Our flagship show Friend of the Family, follows the adventures of the young monster hunter Alice Belford and the unforgivable monster she must team up with to defend the world. They… don’t get along. We also have Letters to Asmodeus, a companion piece to FOTF! And the worst advice column ever. Our other major title is the Dark Files, a collection of dark ruminations sometimes funny or twisted.”

What if there’s a story about the typical leading man who happens to be a vampire and more importantly a dick and the story goes out of it’s way to frame him as unsympathetically as possible instead of becoming apologist schlock? What if he trades barbs with the teenaged female lead and it’s explicitly not unresolved sexual tension but the tension that comes from having a soulless vampire bound by a curse to keep you (and the rest of your clan) out of harm’s way no matter how much in reality he really doesn’t care what happens to any of you? Friend of the Family is a biting satire of the paranormal and horror tropes/properties as we culturally accept them. Alice Bedford, who’s an asexual boss, is trying to keep the world safe with (and often in spite of) her amoral tool of a pet vampire Asmodeus. (who also answers questions in a separate series called Letters to Asmodeus).  Also on this feed you’ll find The Dark Files (more straightforward horror stories), The Katz Chronicles (a very unconventional detective and his team take care of supernatural situations), and Spooky/Cute (a young witch who’s the worse person I ever loved and her much more empathetic cat).

The Lost Cat

“The Lost Cat Podcast is a twice-monthly podcast detailing the things that have happened to me while searching for my lost cat. Featuring cats, dogs, ghosts, witches, Old Ones, several ends of the world and lots of red wine, I promise that these stories are all mostly true.”

One of the first things that pop out will be its obvious inspiration from Night Vale: town where the surreal is mundane, guy (although not a radio announcer) telling stories of the town, even a wine segment in place of weather (which has the podcast creator A. P. Clarke has admitted was a ripoff to get his own music out there). But this is superficial compared to the actual stories he tells about his quest to find his lost cat, which I think is gives it a more moving premise out of the gate. The narrator is a very empathetic, loving, and always knows when to find himself a break for some booze during whatever antics have come his way. The city he inhabits feels very fleshed out and full of life, and there are certain episodes where I wished I was there myself. The people still feel relatable even when the circumstances they are in seem too out of this world.  The writing is definitely more straightforward than Night Vale, but has enough of a feel emotionally to be not just be a British copycat (see what I did there) but a worthy companion because Clarke seems to understand what actually makes a podcast like Night Vale endearing past the obvious narrative devices. Also I tweet at the creator a lot to the point where I think we have a rapport now and he’s really funny so i’d follow him @LostCatPod on Twitter.  

Synesthesia Theatre

“Synesthesia Theatre is a podcast project from Burning Brigid Media featuring an anthology series of audio plays, along with interviews with the talent behind the voices.”

The production and acting are phenomenal and I wish this team got more recognition! From steampunk westerns (the riveting ride that is Iron Horses That Can’t Be Broken)to ten years in the future dystopias (the harsh reality of Cold Reboot), this team really delivers with stories using local Chicago actors that act out scenes in the room together to keep the chemistry up. Diversity is a priority (while also being very transparent about someone voicing a character of a different background). The stories are fast-paced and cinematic, so its very easy to get sucked in to its 10ish episodes seasons. Start bingeing! 

The Strange Case of Starship Iris

“In 2189, Earth narrowly won a war against extraterrestrials, but at a tremendous price. Two years later, in a distant patch of space, a mysterious explosion kills nearly the entire crew of the science vessel Starship Iris. The only survivor is Violet Liu, an intrepid, sarcastic, terrified biologist. But as Violet struggles to readjust to life after the Iris, questions abound. Was that explosion really an accident? If not, just what is going on? And why does every answer seem to get more bizarre and more dangerous? If Violet and her newfound allies want to untangle the truth, they’ll need courage, brilliance, and luck - and honestly, a couple of drinks.”

I’m so excited by how much the fanbase has been growing for this one. Starship Iris exemplifies the ragtag group of misfits trying to survive an international (possible interplanetary?) conspiracy made by a totalitarian Earth and it’s becoming one of my favorite podcasts ever. Violet Liu is so in over her head as she realizes more and more why the Earth regime has set her up to fail, and the only people who can protect her are a smuggling crew who’s personalities range from cute to caustic. Listen to the first and see how fast you put on the second!

Freed

“Freed is a radio-drama podcast detailing the ramifications a worldwide pandemic has on people and the world as a whole, told through bi-weekly updates from the cozy yet abandoned mountain town of Freed. Learn more about the town’s history, the fall of humanity, and how to help rebuild society. In the meantime, be safe. Be strong. Be alive.”

Raimi Jenner (i.e. wife goals) puts a lot of energy on her radio broadcast into being a ray of sunshine in a, plague-infected world because she’s striving to make a community into her own in the abandoned mountain town of Freed. This leads to contact with a lot of allies and enemies, all complicated characters trying to cope in a destabilized world. They’ve been on a hiatus for the last few months, but hopefully they will be able to get back to episodes when they’re ready! I need to know how my wife is doing!!

Hector Vs the Future

“The world’s largest museum of obsolete technology is threatened with closure unless Hector - its cantankerous, turnkey-operated clockwork curator - can match the popularity of the cutting-edge Uptodateum across the road. Only George - the mild mannered in-house caretaker with the mysterious past - steps up to help him.                      

Does nobody care about history? Will anyone ever get to ride the NHScalator? How will postboxes, leeches and face-to-face conversation be remembered if the Obsoleteum closes its doors forever?   Meanwhile, the Uptodateum has its own problems to deal with, as harried curator Biz and her guileless half-hologram, half-robot assistant Phil struggle to keep their enormous glass-and-touchscreen tower constantly up to date. If only they could work out what to do with their ever- increasing mountain of outdated exhibits…”    

This is gut-bustingly dark. If you love Wooden Overcoats, meet it’s even more deranged cousin (which has some of the Wooden Overcoats cast as supporting characters). You would think the bleakness would be too much but it circles back to being absurdly quirky. Hector’s an elderly man-child, George is trying to figure out who he is, Biz struggles with being the most up-to-date version of herself she could possibly bem and Phil is one of the best (half-) robot characters ever written (not that people can stop reminding him what a mistake he is). Also, if you really love Nazi-punching, you might want to check out Episode 3: Hector Vs the Past!

The Elysium Project

“The story follows those who are pulled into the world of a powerful formula that allows it’s subjects to manipulate the world around them based on thought and desire.”

A reboot of a previous project by Natalie Van Sistine, it’s the age old story of superpowered humans given new life as research subjects escape their prison  and along with a girl-in-a-tower type struggle with the superpowers they’re forced to have while the political landscape is unraveling around them. So basically it’s my catnip. It’s updated when the creator finds it possible, but it’s always worth the wait!

HOMECOMING

“The first scripted series from Gimlet Media, starring Catherine Keener, Oscar Isaac, David Schwimmer, David Cross, and Amy Sedaris. Homecoming centers on a caseworker at an experimental facility, her ambitious supervisor, and a soldier eager to rejoin civilian life — presented in an enigmatic collage of telephone calls, therapy sessions, and overheard conversations.”

This podcast stands out as one of the most naturalistic I’ve every heard, especially with on-location recording. The performances by A-list actors are amazing and the morally dark-gray experiment is haunting as the ramifications starts to unfold. It’s really hard to describe without spoiling but god do Catherine Kenner and Oscar Isaac rule. Gimlet is not known for audio drama work, but they really it knocked it out of the park with what  one review describes as a voyeuristic conspiracy thriller . I would go into more detail but I want to keep this spoiler-free, so check out what’s going on with Heidi Bergman’s psychological program.

Our Fair City

“Our Fair City is a campy, post-apocalyptic audio drama”

Possibly prophetic given America’s current political climate, in an enviromental disaster apocalypse leads an insurance company to morph into a corpo-government. However, not everyone fully buys the propaganda that have shaped generations before and even have these crazy notions of…basic civil rights and human dignity. It’s sprawling cast showcases the very different policies a citizen (or moleperson) of Hartlife can lead in an oppressive all-encompassing system. Also its hilarious? Yes, it’s easier to cope with campy humor. Hartlife is all the life you ever need, so get some!

Junction

“Junction is a slice-of-life, mystery series following four friends during their last summer before college as they podcast about their attempt to find answers for a classmate gone missing in the shadow of a mountain, steeped in local folklore. But personal relationships and blossoming romantic tensions begin to overshadow their goals.”

Junction (made by Bending Spectrum) a show where four high school students trying to do a Serial-type show (or Serial meets the supernatural if they could push that angle in) about a missing classmate during their last few months of high school, yet they keep getting distracted by navigating their personal relationships with each other. 

Well, they’re distracted because they’re all queer for each other and frankly when I started this podcast with so little information that I did not see that coming, so this was a pleasant surprise for me! The episodes are pretty short (the longest is about 10 min) but in them are distinct characters struggling to make sense of themselves and each other in a way I found relatable. Give it a listen!

MarsCorp

“MarsCorp is a 12-part scripted comedy podcast about Station Supervisor E.L. Hob’s first year at MarsCorp, a terraforming colony established on the red planet in 2070.” 

I love dark comedy and this one is so tragically hilarious(which I seem to have a thing for). This is about a dysfunctional Mars colony and the recently defrosted from her cryogenic pod Earthling manager is here to save them from their own incompetence. The dark absurdity and twisted twists really kept me listening, and the funny moments I don’t want to spoil keep flooding my head as I write this. Also, could someone give David Knight a hug? And maybe never let him go? Let it be a tight hug that goes on forever :’(

Rover Red

“Rover Red is a listener-driven post-apocalyptic epic that follows Leah, a girl who has lived her entire life thinking and being taught that the compound she’s been raised within holds the last of humankind. When her brother, Jonah, is kidnapped, she leaves the compound to search for him. While she’s out searching, the compound is destroyed, leaving Leah alone to travel across a dystopian wasteland in search of her brother. She soon realizes that those inside her compound were not the last humans on earth…”

THIS PODCAST IS KILLING ME

Okay, let me back the hell up. Rover Red is an interactive experience by writer Chrisopher Bloodworth, where listeners who sign up to be the Rover Council (which is free!) can send options in for actions the protagonist Leah can take and then vote for options selected. Also Leah could die. You can kill her and Bloodworth promises the podcast will cease. With the added personal stakes of you contributing to whatever happens to her, it’s terrifying. 

As someone who started about halfway through the first season, it’s a satisfying narrative experience catching up on. The world is large, well-crafted, and cruel. Mattie Martin shows her wonderful acting range by voicing pretty much every character (with the one exception of someone else…), and is a prime reason to give it a shot. Like if she doesn’t win some sort of audio award next season i will protest.

Side note: The show-fandom relationship is quality (especially the Discord chat that’s free for anyone to join!!!).

The Once and Future Nerd

“When three high school students from modern-day Pennsylvania find themselves trapped in a world of wizards, elves, and feudal intrigue, they must learn to survive in their new surroundings, and undertake an epic quest to save the world from the encroaching forces of chaos.”

First off: Arlene Redmoor/Gwen forever - I love this (canon!!!!!!!!) relationship so that I was moved to make a playlist showcasing the nuances of it as well as making for what I know is the only erotic fanfic currently available for this show- you’re welcome.

The Once and Future Nerd is one of two sword-and-sorcery high fantasy podcasts I listen to (I prefer and have much more a background knowledge of sci-fi than fantasy) and I think it’s one that really fits for me as a listener. At times its parodical, other times deconstructive, this is written by people who love high fantasy and understand the power of genre while being able to give it a critical look. Both the comedy and the drama are of high caliber to that exceeds expectations (the beginning is a little slow and seems to imply the humor will be more crass than anything, but the show evolves very quickly into something extraordinary). The characters are lovable (yes, even Billy, and not in the way you expect a narrative to sell that you should be sympathetic to him, but that’s a post for another day) and I am so excited for the current season because I’ve missed them. Can’t wait for what’s more to come with this one!

Big Data

“What if someone stole the internet? This comedy crime caper takes 100% real concepts, like the seven keys to the internet, cyber police, relay calls, photocopier black boxes, 419 scams, and more, and turn it into an anthology of nerdy crime stories tied together by a global plan to end the internet. it’s a series of heists, taking place all over the world… ranging from hijacking top secret military satellites, to stealing a dude’s pants. It’s a story about how hacking affects our world… but without a single actual hacker anywhere to be found.”

Ryan Estrada is a genius and frankly I suggest everyone listen to the interview with he did with Radio Drama Revival because he’s one of the medium’s great innovators.

And I’ll be honest. I tried to listen to the first episode, and I didn’t think the humor was my cup of tea, so I didn’t even finish it. Then when the interview came up on my feed, I shrugged and thought why not. Then it saw they were playing the second ep at the top so I huffed and went back to finish the last half, which I found unexpectedly compelling. And then by the second episode I was hooked. It’s part scripted, part improv, and entirely a love letter to the current players in podcasting while maintaining its own story, Big Data is a hilarious, riveting, and at times dark tale of how acting in an entangled world can breed chaos no matter what our intentions are. But fun!

Sable

“There is a town located in the deepest forests of America, a town that many would tell you doesn’t exist. It has seen it’s fair share of oddities, from a being of feathers and bones to a giant that promises doom to all in it’s path. The people there have been hiding a secret for the past 300 years, a secret that might just bring about the end of the world. Join Lane Lloyd as he tells you some of the strangest tales to come out of the town of Sable. From its founding onto today, there has not been a shortage of things to talk about. So, sit down, relax, and see if you can unlock the secrets to Sable.”

I just got to warn that there is a lot of descriptions of capital G Gore but its a very engrossing story narrated by creator Lane Lloyd. Without giving out any spoilers, it’s not immediately clear that the how the different threads quite fit together, even with twists that did give more insight but certainly didn’t explain why things were the way they were, and then it becomes clear. Not to over hype but its been months since that reveal and I’m still reeling. It’s stylistically done in an audiobook-type format (he speaks very clearly but there’s transcripts available for free for those who follow along better). Yet don’t get it twisted: when it comes to character voices, Lane Lloyd gives captivating (and at times chilling) performances that definitely keeps you’re attention.

Oh, and then he does an outro where he just says show news and updates with a stream-of-consciousness approach. Like if the very well-structured horror of the show tensed you up listening to him casually talk afterwards lets you relax again and have a laugh.

The Bridge

”It’s an alternate 2016, and Watchtower 10 sits in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, keeping lonely watch over the Transcontinental Bridge. Each watchtower sits hundreds of feet away from the Bridge, broadcasting regular traffic reports to ensure that proper safety precautions are taken. These lighthouses (for cars) are filled with a carefully selected (and very capable) crew.

Watchtower 10’s necessary personnel happen to be: a generalist DJ who spends her free time relaying folklore from abandoned parts of the Bridge, her supervisor (who’s only there because he lost a bet), an unfailingly optimistic Bridge Travel Agent, and a groundskeeper who has a thing for romantic comedies.

Unbeknownst to the general public (but totally knownst to each watchtower’s crew), these stations also hold a secret that could potentially destroy the world…or save it.

The Bridge is a fictional serialized fantasy podcast about the monsters we fear, the monsters we can become, and the stories we leave behind.“

All I can add to this one is two words: Persnickety Pete. Yes, that’s a word and its become my favorite word in all of the English language. Who is Persnickety Pete? You’re going to have to visit Aqualand by listening.

Part one: x

[theexcogitativelibrarium]

When your Admins get a chance to talk...

**Spoiler Alert: Please do not read if you haven't seen Missing9 Episode's 13 + 14**

Aqua:This is totally random but I love Lee Kwang Soo so much!!!!

Pisces:Fell in love with him on Running Man and haven't gone back since. He is pure gold.

Pisces:Was so happy to see that he and D.O. bonded after learning about the group and watching IOTL...like D.O. has been so blessed

Aqua:I lowkey had a crush on his character in IOTL

Pisces:He was really endearing in IOTL

Aqua:It's interesting that both D.O. and Baekhyun worked with Sung Dong Il. While D.O. didn't really have interactive scenes with him, Baekhyun had him as a father-in-law

Pisces:I was so happy to see him again in SH! He played his character so well in IOTL! Really good actor. And he's so hilarious!

Aqua:Yo, I'm excited 'I Love Catman' comes out this month

We gotta support the baby

Pisces:Mm apparently they were saying it's delayed? I hope that's not true. I'm ready to see all of Sehunnie's efforts. So exciting

Aqua:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Aqua:And next week the last episodes of 'Missing9' air. They still haven't found Yeol's body. I'm mad they have been thoroughly ignoring his disappearance

Joon Oh seemed to be looking for him when you look at the wall he had in his room but...

Pisces:Mm not sure they're ignoring it or if it's part of the plot. Everyone else who died had a very definitive acknowledgment of their death

Yeollie not so much

Aqua:Like what he's "dead" and forgotten from episode 6 until 16? They not right for that. I mean I get why they fixated on So Hee's death but...have you seen this week's episodes yet? If not I won't say more

Pisces:I did

Aqua:Okay then.

Aqua:I get that her death lead to them uncovering the conspiracy behind Shin Jae Hyun's death. I think that was ultimately the true focus of the show. Find out about the true circumstances surrounding his death and exonerate Seo Joon Oh. All the other side stories take a back seat to that

Pisces:Yea that seems to be how it goes

Aqua:I also find it interesting that Tae Ho can't sing. They used Jae Hyun's vocals for Tae Ho. I don't know if a lot of people caught that

Pisces:I laughed for a very long time. All of his behavior made sense after that

Aqua:Girl, when I tell you I was so over his entitled behind at that point. Like , dude, you had no true purpose in the group besides being cute and you wanna act superior?!?!?!?!

Aqua:No wonder Jae Hyun wanted to leave. Y'all were using the hell outta him and he wasn't getting any credit. Talk about a fucked up trainee period. They all trained and they chose an attractive, non singing dude for a singing group and made you be his voice behind the scenes instead of letting you debut. That's so fucking twisted.

Pisces:Sounds like something that could actually happen. A dig at the industry perhaps?

Aqua:Tae Ho's obsolete ass....

Pisces:That's a really tough role to play. Especially with his name like Yeol's being SO close to his own. Quite a gamble

Aqua:I think they're purposefully "pissing off" EXO fans for a shock factor

Pisces:Mm but Yeol agreed to the script and most likely (unless he wasn't told before each scene that was filmed) what would happen to his character as the

Aqua:They were still changing the script and plot up until they started shooting in November. They scrapped earlier footage they shot in October because it changed. There were stills leaked that are nowhere to be found in any of the episodes; He was originally supposed to be a playboy.

Pisces:Oh ok *but Yeol still agreed to do the script....so...?*

Aqua: You don't remember them talking about his kiss scene and stuff earlier on?

Pisces:Not right now I don't

Aqua:I think we posted some stuff about it in Oct/Nov. Let me go look

Pisces:Ok

Aqua: *sends post to Pisces to view*

Aqua:That's what we posted in October

Pisces: *looks at post* Yep

Pisces:If anything it seems his role changed from being a main character to more of a supporting role. At least he wasn't fired from the project and given a chance to be part of this really interesting story.

Pisces:One of my questions would be how Choi Tae Ho wasn't found out sooner by fans. Guess he was never put on the spot to sing live. Like EXO does for us.

Aqua:Or they always had a vocal track ready. Or maybe they pulled a Singing in the Rain and had Jae Hyun sing into a mic while Tae Ho lip synced

Pisces:That's so terrible

Aqua:I wouldn't put it past them

[theweeklyration]

The Weekly Ration; Issue #1

Welcome to Working Title!  This is a Rip-Off (read rip-off) of FlyDay by Sean Callahan.  After he announced he was taking a break on Friday, I did feel a little blah about it and a minuscule amount of "oh shut up Sean" about it.  To be fair, he's felt that way about me on multiple occasions and we'd never tell each other this till month's after the event because we are passive aggressive gentlemen.  Anyways here's a piece I worked on that really hurt me because I had to research the subject matter.

Investigating the Trash Heap that is the douche-fuck, steroid chugging, centrist bait for unfunny fuck bois at open mics,  piece of shit Joe Rogan with no ad-hominems (toward Joe Rogan) except the title where I get to berate his stupid fucking face.

Ad-hominem.  In philosophy and debate it is told to us that as soon as you use an Ad-hominem you lose the argument.  The theory is as soon as you get into name-calling you become too passionate with hate or distaste that your stand-points fall apart because they are based in anger.  You can have an argument solid with foundations, truths, and thought out research but as soon as you call someone a poopy head you lose.  You get nothing.  Good day sir.  I personally think this old standpoint is invalid as a passionate argument coming out of the mouth of someone who isn't a robot has more umph to it.  But this is the driving force of these kind of argument freelancers.  With the title out of the way that clearly shows I lose, I present the rest of this article that hurt me and I'll show you on the doll.

Let's begin by explaining what a Joe Rogan is.  A Joe Rogan is a 51 yr. Comedian, MMA Commentator, Actor, and Podcast Guru.  He has a high ranking podcast with a very impressive record of being no. 1 or in the top 5 on Itunes and several other podcast streaming sites continuously for years.  On his podcast he goes into depth with interviews with people of all different walks of life ranging from angry white guys to angrier white guys.  To his credit, I'm only 80% jesting.  To his credit he is a good interviewer for the type of podcast he is presenting.  He's had some interviews that made me see perceived monsters as human and golden gods as flawed specimens.  In the rare times I've checked out his podcast, his interview with fucking angry red-tinted moron and fuck face Alex Jones (see title) actually had Alex Jones out-of-character and being a fairly down-to-earth alright guy.  Until he called liberals pyschic vampires (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkMnwFZyNrw&t=23s), but I imagine doing a show like InfoWars will irreparably have long lasting side effects.

As does doing The Joe Rogan Experience.  Joe Rogan is very into hallucinogens and will appear on his show stoned numerous times, more than not.  He talks about their mental health benefits and existential properties that have helped him and recommends them to his guests, audience, and everyone in the world essentially.  I am very in favor of the good hallucinogens do and support that narrative.  He even talks about the benefits of a deprivation tank which I want to try for myself and encourage anyone to as well.  However, the goal of most "trips" is to destroy your own ego and perceived world view so as to attain a higher plateau of thought.  Joe ignores that side of the journey and with child-like wonder just says "whoa dude".  I mean, it is pretty "whoa dude", but that's not the end goal of those journeys.  You want to come out changed, your perspective advanced, and less depressed.   Joe fails to go past the "oh shiny" phase of trippy drugs, even DMT and Ayahuasca which puts most people on their ass and forever humbled to reality.  His blase approach to taking "whoa dude" drugs has even lead to him emboldening contrarian, damaging viewpoints.

Joe Rogan is essentially a libertarian,although if asked he says he is not affiliated with any political party.  This stance is held-up by many of his viewers/listeners and is basically the "well I'm not them" argument.  It's having your cake and giving it to the 1%.  That stance makes him and many with this worldview, see themselves as bullet-proof and hyperbolic Supermans who can give a platform to any sort of ideological monstrosity because "well I'm not them", "whoa dude", or "I don't know about all of that."  Interviewing Milo Yolopoopmouse (read YolilelaleeTrump) and "hearing him out" as he talks about "Daddy Trump"(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZ8KSh9bd6w)without calling out Milo's fascist viewpoints only makes more Milo YugiOh!cards.  This is where Joe gains so many followers.  Joe Rogan, who "doesn't affilate with any political party" finds himself emboldening centrists.   

Centrism is the agnosticism of politics with much more dangerous, physical, and desperate real world applications.  Agnostics question, compare and contrast while Centrists, at least of late, are just stirring up ill-will and trying to come out of as the better person.  The "I don't give a shit" approach to something like an existential question of God ultimately doesn't have nearly the same impact of seeing an Anti-Fa Militant and a Proud Boy fighting with the response "both sides are bad."  Fence sitting on God, fine.  Fence sitting on the abject horror of quickly rising fascist dictatorship, not fine.  Very not fine.  One of the least fine things you can be doing in this or any other year.

This centrism has found him an allegiance of militant fans who take what he says and doesn't say to the extremes.  Because Joe is so dismissive or non-argumentative with the ideologues he brings on his show it empowers his viewers/listeners to continue their movements.  Joe may hate Trump like any other breathing person with a speck of human decency, but he has Trump fans who have more blood push into their sexual organs when Alex Jones and Milo are guests.  Joe may hate racism, but "hearing out" a radical racist gives entitlement to NRA supporters who have wet dreams of home invasions.  Joe may think you need to get laid,  but having an Incel rant about outright misogyny leads to an asexual self-made eunuch plot his revenge.  Take a fucking stand is what I'm saying.  Just because you yell a lot on your show doesn't mean you're arguing.

I avoid arguing about Joe Rogan as much as I can, however, I am a comedian as well.  I go to open mics regularly, get booked on shows, and want to basically not work so I do comedy.  I've been doing it for over 4 years now, and I love every moment of it.  No surprise, when I first got into comedy I found Joe Rogan endearing and "sticking it to the soy boy beta cucks" (that exact term is from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.  Obviously 4 years ago it wasn't really around but I'd be sure to say that phrase if it existed back then).  But as with numerous examples in this article and more I can't type as my eye is already twitching enough, I found definite faults with Joe and didn't see him as the hilarious contrarian I once did.

Because I realized he's not even contrarian, he's opinion-lite.  He's centrist.  He's straw man argument.  If this or the rest of this article (obviously disregarding the title) feel ad-hominem now, my only excuse is I'm not very good at this and this is my first time writing one of these articles in several years.  Something that makes me chuckle to this day was a clueless, middle-aged guy trying comedy for his first time.  He came up to the deck, trying to bond, form a connection with us.  His opening remarks were "Wow, Joey Coco Diaz and Joe Rogan are here on the same night!  HOW DO I CHOOSE?" which didn't lead to the glad-handing and praise he wanted but a quick "Joey Diaz" from most of the deck.  We returned to staring at our phones and avoiding eye contact with eachother.  We're comics, we're anti-social weirdos who want to be loved by strangers but only when we have a mic in our hands.  He felt crushed while simultaneously thinking we don't like comedy, which is only true of most of us.  

If you want the anger and passion you hear from Joe Rogan but with a punch and bravado I suggest Doug Stanhope.  Doug Stanhope "doesn't give a shit" but he has real umph and vigor.  He has a contrarian viewpoint to almost anything, is hyperbolic, and hypocritical.  He's everything Joe Rogan wants to be but far more in-depth, entertaining, and outright funny.  Contrarian and definitely not a centrist trying to hide centrism with yelling and looking cool.  Now if you excuse me I have to run away from these new comics.

Hope you enjoyed the first of many of these weekly installments.  If you are interested in becoming part of TheWeeklyRation Comrades you can email me at Kyjot.bunny@gmail.com to get the weeks installment two days earlier on Friday as part of the mass-mailer.  Otherwise you can continue following this blog where it’ll be posted on Sundays.  This is a project of mine that I was directly inspired to do by Sean Callahan, my best friend and wonderful writer who did a weekly mailer called “Happy Flyday”.  Thank you for your interest!