#it's always because of a girl though so I don't know how much of it is a genuine identity crisis
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beautifullilacsky · 1 day ago
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"Will you overthinking this?" He asked as we were walking hand in hand in the park.
Me, fully aware I have already started overthinking the moment he mentioned that her friend broke off her relationship: "....... juuup"
"What are you overthinking about? Lets discuss it together, let me help"... I explained how, maybe, now that she is single, she might try to get over a guy by getting under another one. Or maybe, since you guys tall about problems and are pretty close, she turns to flirting now that she is single. "Okay and? Why would I get into that while I have my girlfriend at home? I would say no thank you. Also, I don't think she is the person to do that. I have met her before she was in a relationship, and she also wasn't like this then". Okay, well, .. maybe she will have heard bad things about me and will not like me or she will think I am not good enough for you, or too much, and tell you to break up with me. I mean, I'm in a relationship with you, not with her, but ja, well... He put his arms around me and stopped us from walking on, hugging me from behind. "Sometimes I forget how insecure you can be. Do you really think I'll just break up with you because someone tells me to? And besides, I think you should meet her. She is really kind and everytime I mentioned something, she was always more on the reassuring side." Well, I also thought your other friend was kind.. "..... true. ..... I don't have an argument against that."
"So... if she were to still be in a relationship, would it be okay? .. meh, I feel like that's a bad excuse. "Yeah she is in a relationship anyway" , as if that changes anything. Doesn't that sound like a bad thing to you?" Hmm. Well. Honestly, I felt better when she was in a relationship, assuming it wasn't an u know who typa relationship. It's always a 2 people's decision. And that way, I am at least sure that one side is on the no side (as I said it out loud, I realized how fuckedup it sounded.) "Shouldn't you trust me to already be on the no side?" .... I should, yes. I just don't know what to make of the fact that you told me that you can't promise me that it won't happen again. "That was a year ago" .... "back then I wasn't super sure, and before that I was def not sure. Also, I did not want to force you to trust me (def different exact words from his, buthey, u get the point.). It's been a year." Would you get back to it and say something different now then? "Yes. I am sure that it will never happen again".
And there it was. I know he is a firm believer in actions over words, but sometimes I need words to be sure. He told me that he tells me the truth, and I know he does. Thus, if he tells me, I believe him. So. Maybe this is what I needed to truly get to trusting him again. His word. It's not a signed contract, I know. I can't sue him if his words turn out to be false. Though, I needed this. I needed his faith in himself to make sure it won't happen again. Fuck damn hey. I needed him to believe in himself. If he doesn't believe he will stop it the next time, who am I to believe so? Well well well. Before he left, if our roommate wasn't sitting right next to me, I would've said after he asked me if I'm still okay (for like, the 3th time): "if you say it won't happen again, I trust you." Fuck. And I'd mean it. I feel like I have entered a new reality. One in which it is safe for me to have faith in him. In which, sure, maybe a girl will flirt with him, but I can laugh about it. I can be proud to be with that hotstuff that she can't help but talk to. I can make jokes about it and raise my eyebrows up and down. I can do it all, and enjoy the situation, knowing. Truly knowing. That it doesn't matter at all if the other party is on the "yes-boat". He isn't, and he won't get onto it either. Even if a chance presents itself, he won't even see it as one. He has the set in stone plan to come back home to me. Even if she would get him drunk and touch him all over, ... he will say no. Even if it scares me more with booze, he is still himself. He doesn't get into a crazy trans and turns into a different person with different values. He is still the same person who held my hand as we walked in the autumn colored park, and said that it would never happen again.
It feels like something in me has been freed. As if trust was a fluffy creature within me, which was tied down. His words freed it. It still can't believe that the tiny trust guy is free. That it's safe to stand up now and run and smile and truly trust. It's astonished, grasping for those words that set it free. Wanting to hold them and craving for them to invade its veins with its lightning energy and brightness. May it no longer feel the need to stay on the ground; the ties have been undone. Fuck.
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writingwithciara · 2 days ago
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could be -jack hughes-
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summary: y/n and jack are as inseparable as real best friends should be. so much so that even though they're not dating, she is considered a 'wag' anyway
word count: 4.6k
pairing: jack hughes x reader
notes: jack is just precious and so wholesome istg.
masterlist
growing up, jack was always taught to treat women with respect. he was also told that he should pay special attention to the girl in his life that meant the world to him.
and that's what he did with y/n. she was his best friend & had been since the 6th grade. ever since they met, they were completely inseparable.
even when jack went straight from high school to being a professional hockey player, y/n went with him. she figured she could take a gap year then enroll in school in jersey once she found one that was right for her.
it was obvious to everyone that their close friendship bordered on a real relationship but nobody could be bothered to bring it up. especially not when they saw how much they both cared about the friendship and would do nothing to jeopardize it.
jack's rookie season in the nhl was not as great as he expected it to be. he lost more games than he could count and felt like he wasn't living up to his full potential. but he was reminded every night when he came home that no matter how bad he played, he would always have his favorite girl cheering him on.
and given how close they were, most people had a feeling that something or someone would come along and cause a rift in their friendship. and when jack got his first girlfriend since going pro, they were all proven wrong. turns out that the girlfriend didn't like how close he and y/n had been and she gave him an ultimatum. of course he chose y/n, leading people to believe that there was definitely something going on between the pair.
and no matter how many times people put that idea out there, they always shut the thought down and insisted they were always going to be just friends.
but those closest to them knew that was most certainly not true.
everything they did was something an average couple would do. they could deny it all they wanted but it was clear they were destined to be together.
----------
"hey, y/n. are you coming to the game tonight?"
"do you want me to come?"
"always." jack smiled, but immediately became concerned when she didn't smile back. "of course i want you there. do you think i don't?"
"i was just messing with you, jack. of course i'll be there."
"okay good." he kissed the top of her head and smiled. "you almost gave me a heart attack. i can't play without you there."
"no need to worry, darling. i've never intentionally missed a game since the second half of your rookie season and i'm not going to start now."
"i know. i don't know why i thought you weren't coming tonight though."
"you'd miss me too much if i wasn't there." y/n smirked.
"you know me too well." jack chuckled and grabbed his gear. "i'm late for practice. but i'll for sure see you later tonight, right?"
"absolutely. wouldn't miss it." y/n walked with jack to the door. he looked at her bracelet and smiled.
"you're gonna need a whole new bracelet if we win tonight."
"you mean after you win tonight?" y/n smiled and moved the bracelet around. "who picks out the charm this time?"
"i believe it's jesper's turn again."
"oh, sweet. i love the charms he picks."
"what about mine?"
"i love them even more than jesper's. you know that."
"yeah, i know." jack smiled again and grabbed his keys. "alright. see you in a few hours."
"bye." y/n shut the door and examined her bracelet again. jack had bought it for her after he scored his first career goal and told her that every time his team won, he would buy her another charm because he considered her to be his personal good luck charm. after the 10th win, his teammates started taking turns picking out the charms, as they not only believed that y/n was jack's good luck charm, but theirs as well. they never lost when she attended a game so the belief stuck.
a few hours later, y/n grabbed her jack hughes jersey, put on her black jeans and slipped on her red converse. she threw her hair up in a messy bun and didn't bother with any makeup since she never really wore it much anyway.
before she got in the car, she sent a text to both jack and luke, wishing them good luck on the game. luke's reply was just a thumbs up while jack's reply was an entire paragraph. y/n left it open and drove to the arena. when she arrived, she put her phone in her purse, completely forgetting to respond to jack's text.
in the locker room, luke was finishing adjusting his skates when jack sat next to him.
"y/n left me on read, luke. do you think she's okay? what if something happened to her on the way here?"
"i'm sure she's fine. she's the most careful driver i know." he finished lacing the right skate and pulled the left one tighter. "have you tried calling?"
"no. we never call before games. it's a rule."
"you might have to break a rule every now and then."
"okay, fine." jack pulled his phone out and quickly dialed y/n's number. it went to voicemail and jack sighed. "right to voicemail, luke. this is not good."
"relax, jack. she probably just turned her phone to do not disturb so she could focus entirely on the game tonight."
"okay. maybe you're right." jack stood up. "thanks, bro."
"no problem." luke chuckled. "you gotta learn to never doubt me."
"yeah, yeah. whatever." jack rolled his eyes and grabbed his stick. "we got a game to win."
as the boys came out onto the ice, y/n's gaze immediately landed on jack. he looked at her and smiled, thankful that nothing happened to her on the way to the game. he skated around and that's when the thought hit him.
she didn't respond to his pre-game text like she normally did.
the game went on like it normally would, but with jack distracted, he wasn't playing his best. y/n watched as jack took a hit at the end of 1st period. it never should've happened and she was beginning to worry.
she pulled out her phone and went to send him a text, knowing he was gonna check his phone during the break. and that's when she realized she never replied to the paragraph he sent before the game. she felt guilty, as if she was the reason jack was having a bad game.
she typed as fast as her fingers could go, rattling off an extra long apology text, hoping it would make up for earlier.
and when jack was back out on the ice for the second period, he seemed to be playing a lot better than before. the text seemed to have worked.
halfway through the last period, the devils were up by 2. as jack scored, he turned to look at y/n. when he saw her, he smiled.
he was distracted and the other team knew it. so they took this opportunity to slam him in the boards as hard as possible, taking jack out for the last 10 minutes of the game.
as the ref escorted jack off the ice, y/n hurried out of her seat and down to the tunnel. she rushed to the medic's office and watched as he did his routine checkup on jack. when he was finished, he turned to y/n.
"take good care of this one. he's showing signs of a possible concussion and he may be out for a game or two. we have to make sure he'll be okay."
"don't worry. i'll make sure he's fine." y/n smiled as the medic walked out of the room.
"that was a terrible game." jack shook his head slowly. "i screwed up."
"no you didn't, jack. you played great." y/n squeezed his shoulder softly and smiled.
"you and i both know i didn't. i was a mess in the first half of the game and-"
"i know. it was my fault. i should've answered your text."
"what? no. that's not why i wasn't focused. okay well maybe a bit. but i wasn't mad. i was scared. the last text i got from you before the game was that you were on your way here. and when you didn't reply to my text, i thought something bad happened to you. i wouldn't know what to do without you."
"don't worry. i'm right here."
"good." jack looked up at her and smiled. neither of them knew why they began to lean in but when their lips were about to touch, luke walked into the room, causing them both to jump apart. luckily luke didn't see anything.
"hey. we won the game but i wanted to come see you. how are you doing?"
"i'm alright. might have a concussion and may have to sit out for a game or two. but i'm fine."
"do you need me to stay tonight and keep an eye on you?"
"no thanks, luke. i appreciate the offer but y/n is gonna be there. she lives with me, remember?"
"right. are you sure there's not another reason she's living with you? like, say, maybe you guys are more than friends?" luke raised his eyebrow.
"oh yeah. i sleep with jack every night and he's sooo good. and oh my god. the size is just-" y/n smirked when luke interrupted her.
"i was kidding. i really didn't need to know any details. gross." he shook his head and left the room. jack couldn't help ut laugh at his brothers reaction.
"you know he's gonna tell the rest of the team, right?"
"let them believe what they want. only we know the truth." she winked at him and grabbed his stuff. "now let's get going. i hear my bed calling me."
"you're so dramatic." he chuckled and followed his best friend out to her car. "it's a good thing i got a ride here with luke this morning."
"yes it is. now you can be my little passenger princess this time, instead of the other way around."
"ha. ha. very funny."
"i know i am." y/n smiled and started driving back to their apartment. "how's the head feeling?"
"little rough. but i'll be fine, i promise. you don't need to worry." jack reached over the center console and squeezed her leg gently.
"i always worry about you." y/n kept her eyes on the road but when jack moved his hand, she felt like her leg was on fire.
"i know. and i appreciate it. a lot." jack smiled and got out of the car when she parked. he hurried over to her door and opened it for her.
"thanks, jack. but i could've done that on my own."
"i'm showing my appreciation."
"jack, there are other ways to show your appreciation." y/n smiled and walked to their door. jack was frozen in his spot as he watched her walk inside. before the door shut, he rushed in behind her.
"hold up. just wait a second." he sat down on the couch and looked at y/n. "what other ways can i show my appreciation?"
"by getting me a new charm for my bracelet since your team won." y/n smirked. "did you think i meant something else?"
"what? no. of course not." jack shook his head rapidly, causing y/n to continue smirking.
"oh my gosh. you totally did!"
"well, i kinda thought that we could talk about what almost happened back in the medic's office before luke walked in."
"jack, it was a slip up. heat of the moment situation. it never should've happened."
"it didn't happen. but i agree. heat of the moment." jack sighed and looked at her. "you're my best friend and i love you. but what didn't happen is not going to change us, right?"
"of course not." y/n smiled and headed to her room. jack watched her close the door and let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.
it was going to change everything.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
over the course of the next few weeks, the dynamic between y/n and jack had shifted. everyone noticed immediately but it took jack and y/n a little longer to catch on.
it wasn't drastic enough where y/n felt like she had to move out. but she no longer felt like jack wanted to spend every minute with her like he normally had in the past.
his attitude changed and he slowly became less of the happy guy he always was, and more of a moody one instead. he was getting into fights more often than not & he was bringing girls home with him almost every night.
he would ignore y/n when she would greet him and each time he did, y/n felt like he was chipping away a piece of her heart. it was starting to become an issue for her and she didn't know what to do.
until an 'angel' knocked on the apartment door one afternoon.
y/n was home alone, getting ready for the last regular season game, when she heard the knock. she got up and looked through the peephole.
"nico? what are you doing here? shouldn't you be at the arena practicing for the big game?"
"i should be. but i think we need to talk."
"what about?" she held the door and looked at her friend. "what's going on? is everything okay?"
"with me? yeah. with jack? no."
"what do you mean?"
"you've noticed the changes recently, yes?"
"of course. i notice a lot." she shook her head. "what about his changes?"
"it's messing with his playing."
"meaning?"
"he used to be the best player on the team but for the last 4 weeks, he's been different. his points haven't gone up and his skill level has declined. he still ranks fairly high in the league but it's nowhere near where he deserves to be." he sighed. "i need to know what happened between you guys."
"why do you assume something happened?"
"because i know you guys better than you think i do. and the dynamic between you has shifted since he got the concussion a month ago. so what happened? did jack say something to upset you, or vice versa?"
"no. at least, i don't think so. and to be honest, i have no idea what really happened. the night he got the concussion, we came home and things were fine. but when i woke up the next morning, it was like the jack hughes i know and love was replaced by someone else."
"so jack is the only one to know why he's been acting so weird?"
"i guess so." y/n looked at her phone. "you should get going. the team's gonna need their captain before the game."
"yeah, you're right." he went to walk away but stopped. "are you coming to the game?"
"yeah. i'll be there. there's just something i need to do first. see you later." she shut the door slowly and walked into jack's room. it looked pretty much like it always did. it was a little bit messier than normal but that's how jack tended to keep it.
as she was about to walk out, she saw a gift on the floor by his bed. there was a tag attached to it that had her name printed neatly on it in jack's handwriting. she picked it up and took it with her to the car. she needed an explanation and was determined to get one, even if jack didn't want to give it to her.
when she parked at the arena, she climbed out of her car and ran inside quickly. there was still a little while before the game started but the fans were already filing into their seats. the team was skating around the ice doing their warm ups but jack was nowhere to be found. and neither was nico.
y/n was about to send nico a text, telling him she had arrived, but when she looked up, jack and nico were skating onto the ice. nico waved when he noticed her but jack hadn't seen her yet so she would have to wait to talk to him.
the first half of the game was brutal for the devils. they were down by 3 at the end of the second period, not having scored a single goal yet, and they were looking at a complete shutout,
y/n watched the team skate off the ice and sent a text to nico, letting him know she was on her way down to the locker rom to talk to jack. she couldn't wait another second.
as she got to the room, the rest of the team was walking out slowly. nico was last and he stopped her.
"um, just a heads up but he's not in a great mood and he's blaming himself for what's happened so far in the game. hopefully you can work your magic on him like you always do."
"yeah, hopefully. good luck out there." she smiled and stood in the doorway to the locker room. jack was pacing back and forth with his head down so he didn't notice her and he was mumbling to himself. she knocked lightly on the door to get his attention. "jack?"
"huh?" his head shot up and they made eye contact. "w-what are you doing here?"
"i came to see my best friend play kick some ass and make it to the playoffs tonight."
"that's not gonna happen so you can go home if you want. i don't want to disappoint you when we lose."
"you're not going to lose, jack." she took a step into the room and the air felt thick.
"we haven't scored once this game and there's 20 minutes left. i highly doubt we're coming back from this." he shook his head. "and it's all my fault."
"no it's not. it's a team game, jack. it doesn't depend on just one person. you know that."
"if i hadn't played so badly this last month, we'd already be guaranteed a playoff spot. but this game is the make or break one."
"what's gotten into you? where's the best friend who is always full of spirit and determination? the one who never wants to give up, no matter how hard a task may be?"
"he's a total mess who can't get his shit together. he's lost hope for a lot of things in his life and he doesn't know how to get back to his normal self again."
"when did things change?" y/n took a seat beside him on the bench. "was it before or after the concussion?"
"the same night." he sighed. "i felt the change after we got home."
"was it something i did that maybe upset you?" y/n looked at him but he didn't answer. "jack, please talk to me. i want to help you in anyway that i can."
"do you really think that our almost kiss was just a slip up? a heat of the moment thing?"
"what?"
"just tell me the truth, please?"
"i've known you since the 6th grade and not once did i ever think about kissing you. you've been my best friend since i met you so yeah. it was a heat of the moment thing." y/n looked up to find jack staring at her.
"i feel the same way. or at least i thought i did." he sighed. "i had never thought about kissing you before and have had no romantic feelings towards you since we became friends. but that night, when you didn't answer my pre-game text, i was scared something happened to you. and you already know that. but as i was freaking out, i started thinking about why i was reacting that way. i realized that i never wanted to experience life without you. and then when i saw you and saw that you were alright, my heart nearly exploded with happiness. i thought i lost you but you were there, in front of me, and these brand new feelings became overwhelming for me." jack took another breath. "that night when you told me it was a slip up, it hit me that you didn't feel the same way about me. so i started giving you space because it felt like what was best and i realize now that it was a mistake to do that. because without you by my side, i fell apart real fast. i screwed up by almost kissing you and if it was possible, i would turn back time and stop myself. i never intended for things to end up this way. and i am so sorry i disappointed you."
"you could never disappoint me, jack. you're my favorite person in the entire world. and yes, i thought it was a slip up that night because i had never thought about kissing you before. but when you were giving me that 'space', it gave me time to think about what almost happened and i have come to the realization that it wasn't a heat of the moment situation. i realized that i can't live my life without you. truthfully, i love you jack. i never really thought about it before but now i know."
"so all that space was a dumb idea, huh?"
"of course, dummy. but maybe things can be different now. we can get back to how things were before the concussion." y/n took his hand. "but with an added bonus of love."
"that sounds like a good idea." he went to kiss her but she stopped him.
"wait. i almost forgot the main reason i cam back here."
"what's that?"
"i found this in your room." she pulled the gift out from her purse and handed it to him. he turned it around in his hands and smiled. "what is it?"
"as ridiculous as this might sound, it's a book." he let out a chuckle.
"a book?"
"yeah. but not just any book." he smiled. "this book is special and i was intending to give it to you for your birthday but i didn't know if things would be back to normal or not." he looked up at her. "go ahead. open it."
y/n carefully unwrapped the book and stared at the cover. a little cartoon version of herself with jack stared up at her with the title my best friend written in shiny silver letters. she flipped through the book and smiled with every page she read. it was a story book of her life, before and after she met jack. it was illustrated so perfectly and each hidden detail throughout the book made her eyes water. "jack , i love this so much."
"i figured you would. but i'm glad you do." he looked at her. "did you see what was taped to the back cover?"
"no." she flipped to the back cover and taped to the inside was a little swan charm. y/n carefully pulled it off and smiled. "seriously, jack. you didn't have to do this."
"well i wanted to. i needed to show you how much you mean to me but with everything you've ever done for me, the book and the charm are not going to be enough."
"jack, they're more than enough. they're perfect." she looked at him. "you're perfect."
neither of them hesitated to place their lips together. they fit perfectly together, just like everyone knew they would. jack held y/n's face as he deepened the kiss. her hands held his wrists as they slowly pulled apart.
"okay, my team is waiting for me. i've got a game to win." he stood up quickly. "i love you."
"i love you too. now go out there before they start to worry." y/n laughed as jack rushed out to the ice. she slid the book back in her purse and made her way back to her seat just in time for the final period to start.
30 seconds in, jack scored a goal and the fans went nuts. his teammates all hugged him and nico looked up to where y/n was sitting, knowing she really did work her magic on him.
there was 5 minutes left in the game when nico passed the puck to jack, who scored another goal, putting the game at 3-2 for nashville.
with 2 minutes left, it was looking like they were going to lose. but luck must've been on their side because curtis somehow got the puck to jack. he took it and sped down to the other end of the rink, shooting it right into the net to tie the game.
and when the buzzer went off to signal the end of the game, everyone on the team was excited. they were congratulating jack as they made their way to the bench.
"whatever you're doing, keep it up. that was an excellent third period." curtis high-fived him and walked down the tunnel. both jack and nico shared a look and their eyes went to y/n in the stands. she waved to them and they smiled.
"she must've worked her magic real hard on you to get such a turn around like that."
"yeah. something like that." jack smirked and took a drink from his water bottle before spraying some down the back and front of his jersey. he knew he was a great player but even he was impressed with how fast he shifted the game.
overtime started not long after their conversation and even though nashville was playing hard, new jersey was playing harder. their team dynamic was so much stronger than it was before.
with the clock ticking down and jack with the puck, the win was in sight. but the nashville players were not letting it go that easily. all the players on the ice chased jack and nearly cornered him. one slammed him into the side, causing him to lose his balance and fall. they all looked for the puck, believing that he would've given up the possession when he hit the ice.
but he did that before he went down. he passed the puck to jesper, who was not being defended. luckily nobody saw that pass. jesper took off back towards the nashville net and hit the puck as hard as he could, sending it flying towards the goal.
everyone watched with baited breath as the puck moved faster and faster towards the net. when it hit the back and the buzzer went off, everyone cheered. the devils were going to the playoffs.
y/n made her way down to the tunnel to wait for the team. nico had a feeling that's what she would be doing so he made sure jack was at the end of the line.
as they passed by, y/n congratulated the guys on the big win and continued to wait for jack. when she saw him, she couldn't help but throw herself into his arms. he was shocked but he held her tightly.
"that was incredible, jack. i told you you were going to win."
"i couldn't have done it without you and our talk."
"well, you could've. but i'm gonna take the credit where i can get it." she smiled. "go get changed so we can go home and celebrate."
"yes ma'am."
things were going to be okay. they were gonna make sure of it.
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virtualvault · 2 days ago
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Finish What I Started
Pairing: Miguel O'Hara  x f!reader
Summary: After being called away while he's between your thighs, Miguel comes back to finish what he started.
Warnings: SMUT, NSFW, 18+ ONLY, brief angst, oral(f receiving), fingering, brief somno, kissing, dirty talk, pet names( baby, good girl), kissing, unprotected p in v, creampie. Let me know if I missed anything
WC: 2.3k
A/N: I know reader starts off sad but don't worry, Miguel fixes it with his dick lol I was determined to make Miguel his regular dirty self, but spice it up with a bit of angst. Also, no explicit consent for somno given by reader beforehand, but I wrote it as if there is general consent within the relationship to do so. As always, feedback is encouraged and appreciated!!
For the past few months Miguel has been gone more than usual. He's home a few days then called away again and it's starting to weigh on you. He's just returned from a week away and he's finally back. He was taking care of some 'business', which he of course doesn't tell you anything about. You know it's for your own good, but sometimes it would be nice for him to open up a bit about his work. At least vent to you. You know he's under an extreme amount of stress and it would do him some good to open up about it.
But of course, he tells you he doesn't want to burden you, even though you've told him a thousand times that it wouldn't. He does have his own way of communicating, though. It's just usually through actions instead of words. Like when he holds you close and locks you into a needy kiss and you can feel the desperation and all his pent-up emotion. It lets you know he's back where he wants to be. Home with you.
Which is where you are right now. He kisses down your stomach, taking his time not only to savor you, but show you how much he's missed you. He makes it to your folds and places a few light kisses there before diving in. You let out a long sigh, reveling in the feeling you haven't gotten to indulge in for what feels like forever. He never fails to take your breath away, though. The way his tongue glides against you and prods at your entrance. You wrap your fingers in his hair, lightly dragging your fingers across his scalp and he leans closer into you, and he groans.
His hand comes up to join his mouth, and just before he can push a finger in, you hear it. That dreaded sound. A high-pitched ring accompanied by a buzz, letting you know he has to leaves you. Again. You try to put things into perspective any time he gets called away and try to find the restraint to not get on your knees and beg him not to go. You know he helps people, and he puts his life on the line for the greater good, but you can't help the sadness that blooms in your chest each time.
He doesn't say anything, just pulls his mouth from you and rests his head on your thigh, letting out an exasperated sigh. A pathetic whine falls from you lips in return. You cradle his head in your hands and hold it against you, silently pleading with him to stay. He gently pries your hands off and kisses each wrist before sitting up and tapping his watch, answering the distress call. He shares a few quick, and quiet, words with someone before leaning back down to you.
"Baby-" he starts. "I know," you respond, sounding dejected, and he looks back at you apologetically. He knows he asks a lot of you. You live your life around his work and are always left waiting for him to return. The unpredictability and the time away are a lot to deal with. You do it happily because you love him, but he knows it takes a toll on you. It takes a toll on him too, and he finds it harder and harder to leave you every time.
 He kisses your forehead and lifts your chin to meet his eyes. "I'll be back as soon as I can. I promise." He pulls you in for a kiss, then makes his way to the door.
You hear it close and are immediately overwhelmed by the emptiness. It's dark and the silence is deafening. You look over to his side of the bed and pull his pillow into your arms. Usually, you'd at least give yourself a pitiful orgasm to let out a little of the sexual frustration he left you with alongside the emotional, but you don't have it in you. You roll over and hold the pillow close. You can smell him on it and the comforting scent lulls you to sleep.
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Miguel returns in the dead of night, and he shuts the door softly behind himself to avoid waking you. He was only gone a few hours, which is something of a rare occurrence. Turns out he just had to assist in a little damage control and then he was racing back home to you. Part of him was hoping you'd still be awake, but he knows that'd be unfair to expect of you. It breaks his heart to think of you curled up in bed, sad and alone, waiting up for him.
He walks into the bedroom, and he's met with a wonderful sight. There is a feeling burning hot within him at the sight of your exposed backside. He ripped the pleasure from you upon his departure and is determined to give you what you deserve. He wants to express how grateful he is that you stay by his side, giving so much to him and the relationship. That you are the most important thing to him and that he cherishes you above all else. These are things he makes an effort to tell you all the time, but right now he wants to show you.
You wake up to a pulsing heat in your core. You're on your stomach, one leg hiked up, and Miguel's pillow still held against you. Your eyes flutter open, and you attempt to roll over, but two pairs of hands hold you in place.  You let out a soft moan and you shake your head, clearing the last bit of haze as you become fully conscious. That's when you feel it. Miguel's tongue firmly, yet slowly, rolling against your exposed nub.
"Miguel?" There's a slight drowsiness to your voice. It doesn’t last long as you exclaim his name at full volume when he slips a finger inside you. "I'm here, baby." He lifts his head long enough to offer you the reassurance and flip you over, then he resumes his position between your thighs. He slips two fingers in this time. You gasp and you grab the pillow beneath your head.
"You're home," you pant out and he chuckles. "Yes. I am. There's nowhere else I'd rather be."
He brings his thumb up to your clit while he speaks to you and rubs in slow, teasing circles. "I left you all desperate for me. That wasn't very nice, was it?" He asks and you quickly shake your head 'no' as you tilt your hips up and start grinding your hips in time with his movements. "Did you touch yourself when I left?"
Again, you shake your head and let out a ragged "No," and he cocks his eyebrow. "Why not?" He asks. You don't answer as he starts moving his fingers faster and biting across the flesh of your thighs. "I bought you that wonderful little toy to keep you company when I'm away." You blush as you think about the vibrator sitting in your nightstand. It was a very thoughtful gift, and you do get a lot of use out of it, but there's no substitution for the real thing.
 "It's not the same," you moan. He lets out a pleased hum at your answer. "I want your fingers…your mouth… your cock." Your last word is punctuated by a whine as he probes deeper inside you. He groans and you see him grind his hips into the mattress. "Well, I'm happy to give it all to you, baby." He places his tongue back on your clit and before you know it, you're cumming around his fingers.
"That's it, good girl. God fucking girl," he praises, admiring the way your arousal gushes out of you and down his hand. When he slips them out of you, you pull his fingers up and into your mouth. His breath hitches as your tongue slides along each digit. When he looks up at you, you can see the desire dancing in his eyes. His kisses up your stomach, across your breast, and up your neck until his face is hovering over yours.
"That's two out of three. You gonna give me your cock?" You speak in a teasing tone, but you're dying to feel him inside you.
He chuckles. "Happily."
He sheds his clothes and settles between your thighs. "How do you want it, sweetheart? On your back? Stomach?" He asks, wanting to give it to you exactly how you want it. "Um…" you take a second to think and realize what you really want. "I want to feel your arms around me while you fuck me," you respond, looking up at him through your lashes. He nods and moves your body into position. He puts his arms under you and flips the both of you over. He plants his feet onto the mattress and wraps his arm around your waist, using it to move slide you up and down his length, effectively coating him in your slick. The friction feels wonderful, and you gasp when his tip catches on your clit.
 Once he feels he's properly lubricated, he slowly guides himself inside you. You both breath out a sigh of relief at the feeling you've both been waiting so long for. He's got one arm around your waist while the other goes to cradle the back of your head and he pulls you into a heated kiss. Your shared longing and need are apparent in your movements. You slide your tongues over each other's messily and only pull apart when you become desperate for air. Then, urgent with need, you begin grinding yourself down on to him, earning a throaty moan from the man below you.
"I've made you wait long enough, haven't I?" You nod and nip at his lower lip. "Please, Miguel. I need it so bad."
He starts slow, stretching you out deliciously and you melt around him. You drop your head to his shoulder and nuzzle into his neck as he picks up the pace. His deep, steady strokes cause pleasure to ripple over your body. You can hear his ragged breathing and the noise of your skin slapping together and it adds to the warmth building in your belly. You begin placing sloppy kisses on his neck and nipping at the flesh. That always drives him crazy, and he holds you tighter against him. He grips the back of your neck and starts pulling you down to meet his thrusts.
"Oh, god baby, you're gripping me so tight," he groans, speaking against the crown of your head. He breathes in deeply, relishing in your scent. You whine into his shoulder as you feel him fucking you at just the right angle. Pleasure pulses through your veins and you can tell you're close. So can he.
"Let go, baby. Make a mess on my cock. Wanna feel you squeeze me." You keen at his words as they vibrate against you, and it has you tumbling over the edge. He grits his teeth as your walls quiver around him and you babble out thank-yous and sweet nothings while you ride out your high.
Before you can fully come down, he rolls you over and before you know it, he's rutting into you again. He pushes your legs up by the back of your thighs and admires the way his shaft disappears inside you. "You take it so well. This pussy was made for me, wasn't it?" He brings his thumb down to circle your clit and you writhe under him.
"C'mon, say it." he brings his other hand to the back of your head and angles so you're looking at him.
"This pussy was made for you. I was made for you" you say, raggedly. He moans at your confession before wrapping his arms around you once more. You're completely enveloped by him now. By his body, his scent, and his sounds. It overwhelms your senses int the best way and you can tell you're about to succumb to the pleasure again. You wrap your arms around his shoulder, holding him to you, and run a hand through his hair. You give it a tug each time he hits that soft spot inside you and he groans at the feeling.
You gasp with each measured thrust, although they're getting sloppier, and you can tell he's close too. You'd love to cum with him, so you contract around him again and again. Now he's the one whining into your shoulder.
"I'm never leaving again. I wanna stay buried inside this pussy forever," he admits, breathily. He voice is barely above a whisper, and you think he's saying that not only to you but himself as well. You know he will inevitably leave again, but he speaks with such passion. So, you both let yourselves believe, even for just this moment, that it's true. When the words leave his mouth, you allow yourself to let go.
You arch your back and drag your nails across his skin as you let the ecstasy wash over you. It pushes him to his own release, and he presses his lips to your forehead, and you feel him twitch inside you. You pulse around him, and he stills as he spills himself inside you with a strangled moan.
He pulls away and cradles your face, looking deep into your eyes. "I know I'll have to leave again, but I will always come back to you. Always." He vows.
"And I'll always be here when you do. Always," you reply, then seal your promise with a kiss.
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gaypirate420 · 6 hours ago
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Shooting classes // Jayce Talis.
S1!Jayce Talis x male!Kiramman!reader.
Summary: Jayce's always been close with Caitlyn's brother.
Angst/Fluff.
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Jayce sighs deeply. First day as councilor and now he has so much to do after his talk with Caitlyn. As he makes his way out of the Kiramman residence, a sharp loud sound makes him jump, he looks around, birds flying off the trees.
Another one.
Then another one.
The councilman hesitantly walks around the garden, he stops as he sees you, gun in hand and eyebrows furrowed in concentration, a target lifts off the ground and less than a second you've shot it back down. Jayce stays extremely still, not wanting to be shot by accident or making you miss and lose concentration which is worse on his book. You lower your gun after emptying your gun.
"That was quite the show." Jayce speaks with a teasing tone, you whipped your head in his direction, taking your ear plugs out and smirking, a small redness crept on his tanned cheeks.
"if it isn't the man of progress." You teased, his cheeks feel a little warmer as he walks closer to you, his hazel eyes looked up and down at your outfit, so fancy even if you're in the middle of your garden shooting.
"Oh please, don't call me that." He rolls with eyes but let's out a small laugh, his eyes looked over to your targets.
"Bold of you to practice near your mother's vases and the old statues of your family." He spoke softly, you chuckled and shrugged.
"How's Caitlyn?" You asked as you loaded your rifle.
"She's- doing better." He didn't want to elaborate, maybe he shouldn't snitch to her older brother about how she's playing detective and definitely not about how he's going to help her now that he's part of the council. You nodded along to his words.
"Got a new toy?" Jayce spoke with curiosity, you lift it for him to see it, he pulls away from you, taking the rifle in his hands, his curious hazel eyes roaming all over it, his fingers brushing it like he's trying to dissect it in his mind.
He mimics the position you held earlier, holding the gun out towards a target. He chuckles softly and looks at you as if waiting for you to stop him.
"Go ahead, golden boy." You spoke softly, Jayce smirked. He is not a sharpshooter, he's never shot a gun but he's seen you and Caitlyn practice for years. The taller man nods and takes a deep breath, you take a couple of steps back.
His eyes are on the target, his finger pulls the trigger. The sound makes him flinch, he stumbles a little back and the butt of the rifle hits his shoulder slightly, he swallows a whimper.
"I think I got it." He says confident though, his characteristic toothy smile shining bright. You smirked and pointed, the target was untouched, the tree behind it whatsoever had a bullet hole on its side. A deep red crept on his cheeks again, he mumbled something incoherently that made you laugh.
"Oh do not get all embarrassed now, Talis. Let me show you how it is supposed to be done." You muttered quietly, what he didn't expect was your hands touching his body.
"Just fix your posture a little more.." You spoke softly, your breath clashing against his cheek, he nodded and let you move him, you were gentle and it made him tingle.
"Arms up." You fixed his arms, positioning the rifle properly and feeling his muscles under your hands.
"And..." You tilted his chin, he felt actual shivers down his spine, his hazel eyes meet yours, your face closer than ever.
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"You do not know how to kiss!?" You said out loud, Jayce covers your mouth quickly.
"Don't tell the whole academy about it!" He whispers angrily, you chuckled and a small drunk hiccup makes you jump.
"I told you because I want advice not for you to make fun of me!" He whispered again, you rolled your eyes and nodded, your words were muffled by his hand but he could understand you saying you won't make fun of him again, his hand pulls away.
"Just- what am I supposed to do? I don't want to disappoint this girl." Jayce sighed, taking a big sip of his beer and running a hand through his hair.
"Just be yourself, mate! Don't think too much about it, you just lean in and go at it!." You stated matter-of-fact. Jayce stared at you, as if telling you that it wasn't that easy, maybe you need to be a little more descriptive. You take a swing of your beer and scoot closer to him.
"You get a little closer, tell her about her eyes, about how- you admire her and how you're inspired by her." You spoke softly, the taller man leaned closer, nodding along your words and listening intently, his eyes never leaving yours so he does notice the blush creeping into your cheeks.
"You- stare into her eyes, get lost in them for a second." You said even softer, the two of you stayed silent, staring into each other's eyes.
"And then I kiss her?" He asks snapping out of your thoughts, you nodded, before you could take another sip of your bear, his big hand cupped your face and he leaned in locking his lips with yours. You gasped as he deepened the kiss, his other brand on your waist, leaning you back against the bed of his dorm.
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"There, you can shoot now." You said simply but Jayce's eyes were down on your lips, you had that feeling, before that night at the academy it was butterflies, having him close and just to yourself. After that night, it felt like nausea. Like a mistake it shouldn't have happened, a drunken night with a regretful ending and having to endure the following years of meetings girlfriend after girlfriend made it worse every time.
At least you still had his friendship, his love, even if it wasn't how you wanted it. But it lingered, with every hug that was a couple of seconds too long or with a short praise or even seeing him in the crowd in your shooting competitions.
His eyes got back to the target but then they returned to yours, his big and shiny as always as he lowered the rifle.
"Are you planning to kiss me and not talk about it for years again, mate?" You asked without thinking, the taller man stared at you with wide eyes, his cheeks a deep red but also it felt like a shot directly into his heart but you've always been like that, ironically even your words hit the target. He could see it, the mix between teasing and genuinely hurt in your eyes.
"I'm sorry about that night." He mutters softly, you freeze, that's not fair you weren't ready to have this conversation right here right now.
"I'm sorry I didn't talk about it the next day, nor ever. But I was scared." His big puppy eyes looked up at you, your face softened, you could never stay angry at him.
"Scared of losing your friendship, of not being enough for you. It was stupid-"
His words are cut short by your lips sealing his. His eyes widen but then close, leaning in and his big hand on your waist. You gasped softly wrapping an arm around his broad shoulders to keep him close.
"Let me make it up." He mumbled against your lips, you looked up into his eyes, the pleading gaze that stares into you.
"Let me- show you the love I feel for you that I always felt." Jayce whispers with a small quiver into his words, your eyes widen and your cheeks feel warm at the sound of that word.
"Please." The cherry on top.
"You know the way to my bedroom." You answered with a small smirk, Jayce smiles, a relieved but nervous laugh escapes him. He leans in for a second time, this time hungrier as he tastes you, before you know it, his arms wrap around your waist and legs and he picks you up, making you gasp and chuckle, burying your face on his neck and leaving soft kisses along it.
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A/N: FIRST JAYCE FIC YAYYYYYY!!1!1!!11! I hope you like it! Excuse me if it's a little ooc for Jayce but it's my first time writing for him! Send requests! (Divider)
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aceshigh10987666 · 5 hours ago
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No one needs to be looking at the dumpster fire that is the medical literature but those assholes started this one. The researchers have always excluded Klinefelter and Turner syndromes from (the three letter acronym they insist on using instead of intersex) designation even though they're obviously variations on sex chromosomes (X instead of XX for Turner, XXY instead of XY for Klinefelter) because they seemed to reliably correspond to a given gender.
Meaning, while most intersex variations appeared to be a bit of a toss-up on whether the child would grow up to identify as male or female (god forbid an intersex person doesn't stick to the binary), the researchers found that people with Klinefelter's reliably (according to their research) grew up to identify as male and people with Turner Syndrome reliably grew up to identify as female.
In their eyes, this didn't pose the same "horrible" crisis of not knowing which gender to "recommend" that a parent raise a kid as. Each was simply a syndrome that only happens to one of the two (binary, according to them) sexes. The same would be true for PCOS and hypospadias. In their minds, this was the same as only men having prostate cancer and only women having endometriosis.
The other intersex variations were more disturbing to them because these break the binary from the researchers' points of view. They didn't have the safety of feeling like they knew which gender the kid was going to grow up to be, so this was an entirely different category.
It never was, to the researchers, a matter of whether sex characteristics had varied from the norm. It was about how easy it would be to force these kids into the binary. Kids who seem to reliably grow up to be the gender that corresponds to their variation are kids who have a "disease" with an obvious goal, medically speaking: to make a girl with Turner's or PCOS function as much like other women as possible, and same with boys with Klinefelter's or hypospadias. They didn't have to deal with the embarrassment of having a kid grow old enough to tell them that the gender they'd been coercively assigned was wrong.
I say embarrassment here not because I think these bastards have any shame, but because they don't like being proven wrong, and that is what happened when David Reimer and others (mostly intersex children born with ambiguous external genitals and surgically altered to appear female) grew up to say that they were male. That forced the researchers to at least admit that they couldn't know for sure which gender the kid would grow up to be.
But they still feel secure in the idea that someone with Turner's or PCOS will grow up to identify as female and that someone with Klinefelter's or hypospadias will grow up to identify as male, so these are not categorized as (three letter acronym the intersex community has repeatedly asked them not to use). And the TERFs gleefully have decided that the researchers are the experts and consider that to be the ultimate truth on who is and isn't intersex.
will genuinely never understand how terfs essentially got out a megaphone and yelled “ummm intersex people said they don’t wanna be included!!! they said that they’re deformed and disordered freaks who should be fixed, not celebrated!!! they actually said that!!!” and the queer community at large bought into it
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makeyoumine69 · 2 days ago
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Vibe With Me (Modern AU)
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𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Patrick Bateman x Fem!Reader
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: Modern AU, Patrick watches you masturbating with a vibrator during a video call.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: NSFW, sex toys, overstimulation, masturbation, squirting, Patrick is kinda demanding, dirty talk, praise kink, pet names, mild power play.
𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒: 1.3k
ᴀ/ɴ: Recently I was thinking about modern AU and this idea came to me so randomly, sorry!😢
LINKS: [MASTERLIST]💕
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When Bateman told you that he was going on a long business trip, you were worried because you were already too attached to him, but you didn't know how to tell him that you would miss him, considering that your lover despised any displays of affection—including any drama about you being sad when he was gone. But before you could even come up with a plan for how to broach this sensitive subject, Patrick gave you a large box that he asked you to open once he left on a business trip. And even though you probably knew the contents of this gift, you decided to wait and do what the man told you to do, so you waited as long as it took. You were so determined to be a good girl and play by the rules that you even forgot about this box because your life was so busy as usual.
The day you and Bateman had your first video call after he left, the first thing he did was ask if you had opened his present yet, and as soon as he said it, you almost choked on the air, both embarrassed and disappointed in yourself. How could you forget? It took you a few moments to find the box that was obediently waiting for you in your bedroom and you opened it only to find a small plush bear, some chocolates and sweets, your favorite perfume and... at first you thought it was a dildo, but then you read the description on the small pink box that told you it was a clitoris vibro-stimulator, which according to Patrick's handwriting was the best model so far. Rolling your eyes, you picked up the sex toy without unpacking it. Surprisingly for you, Patrick didn't insist on opening it as soon as possible, the man explained that you needed some time to find out how to use his 'little sweet gift' so that you could both have some fun.
God, that was embarrassing. 
But that was just the beginning.
That day, you were lying on the couch in your living room, the only light coming from the screen of your monitor, which was placed on the coffee table right in front of your splayed figure. The towel you had placed underneath you was already soaked with your juices as you lost count of your orgasms, and Patrick was like a sentinel watching you from the other side of your laptop, his hazel eyes catching every little jolt you made, every little shudder and gasp.
"C'mon, honey," the man murmured, his soft, velvety voice coming through the speakers and making you melt like butter. "You can give me another one."
"No," you replied, on the verge of tears from the overstimulation. "I can't...this is already too much, it hurts!"
Panting, you removed the sex toy from your swollen clit, your legs still shaking from the last climax, your pussy so wet and bruised that you were afraid to even touch it.
"Sweetheart," Bateman called to you, knowing that this nickname would break down any difference you were trying to make. "I know you can. You're such a good girl for me, you always are."
Shit, shit, shit!
"Fuck...fuck you, Patrick!" You blurted out. "I don't want to gush all over my laptop!"
"God, if that's a problem, you can have as many laptops as you want. That's my word."
Bateman's tone became more and more demanding, for a moment you even wanted to end the call and close the laptop, but his voice, his sweet praises—he was a perfect manipulator, he knew every little weak spot he could press.
Biting your lower lip, you turned on the vibrator and slowly slid it back between your legs, the second it touched your hypersensitive flesh, you almost screamed and took it away, causing Patrick to tsk so loudly as if he was right next to you.
"Don't remove it!" He almost barked in a commanding voice.
"I CAN'T!" Your voice was about to break. "It's too fucking much! My skin is burning!"
And while it was true that it hurt pretty badly, you could feel another orgasm building up inside of you, your inner walls spasming around nothing as you tried to get the sex toy back onto your engorged bud. 
"Listen to my voice," Patrick almost purred, probably changing tactics and trying to be less intrusive. "Don't push the toy too close to your clit," his lecturing was the last thing you expected to hear from him and somehow it made you feel so high, so fucking overwhelmed. "Let it vibrate within you...remember how I do it with my tongue?"
Damn it!
Closing your eyes, you lay down more comfortably and spread your legs wider, giving him the full display of your soaking cunt, the soft material of the sex toy sliding along your skin, and when you dared to press the tip of it to your little tip, Bateman suddenly interfered, causing you to almost bite your cheek to the point of bleeding.
"Turn on maximum speed," the bastard added, his smug face getting even more cocky as he watched you fall apart right before his eyes. "DO IT!"
"Fuck...f-fuck," you cursed under your breath, but you followed his order, unable to think straight, your fingers not listening and barely finding the button on the vibrator, but once they did, you moaned so loudly you were afraid someone would call the police. "I...I'm gonna cum...again.......aaa-hhh-fuck!"
To be honest, you didn't expect this little toy to be so powerful, its vibration piercing through you, sending a million tingles to your most sensitive spot, pushing you over the edge. With your eyes closed, your legs buckled, your toes curled with pleasure, you did your best not to take the vibrator away, feeling your pussy clenching until you squirted, and you did it so hard that the towel dampened even more, but you didn't really care.
"Good girl," Bateman muttered in a gruff voice. "Such an obedient girl...I'm so proud of you," he watched you come undone without blinking. "I'm so fucking proud of you!"
Breathing heavily, you finally turned off the toy and let it fall to the floor, your legs still trembling, the wetness pooling down your inner thighs—now you were nothing but a wet, trembling mess - you couldn't even open your eyes, knowing that this asshole was probably shining like a fucking Rolex he was wearing.
After a brief respite, as you slowly began to come down from your high, you turned your unfocused gaze to your laptop and heard Patrick's soft chuckle, the sound almost mocking.
"Jeez, I'd drink you dry," he rasped into the microphone of his headphones. "I'd suck on that pretty little pussy until I couldn't fucking breathe-"
"Stop," you squealed suddenly, barely able to contain yourself from the phantom pain in your core of how much you needed him to stuff you with his beefy dick. "Stop saying things like that..."
"Oh, babe," Patrick crooned, smiling at you from the screen of your laptop. "You know I would, and it drives you crazy, doesn't it?"
You didn't answer this question, but looked at him more seriously. "And what about you? Aren't you going to put on a show for me?"
The man smiled before he lowered the camera so that you could see his white boxers, which were bulging because of how hard he was. Without saying anything, Patrick traced the outline of his cock through the smooth material before giving himself a little squeeze that made you almost drool.
"Who knows?" Bateman chuckled suddenly, fixing the camera in its previous position. "Maybe... if I was in the right mood..." his lips curled into a sly, almost devilish smile. "I'd show you that I miss you no less, darling. Believe me."
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P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my writing community to know when I update!💞
Lemme know if you want part two with Patrick jerking off during a video call, lmao.
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vixen7243 · 2 days ago
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Wrong Chat 7
Simon "Ghost" X Johnny "Soap" X AFAB!Reader | TF141 X AFAB!Reader
Masterlist | Part 6 | Part 7
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It had been a few days following since you'd seen any of the other guys, John had been regularly texting you checking on you and chatting. Kyle had called a few times doing the same, Johnny wasn't getting home quite on time much either but you assumed that was mostly because they must be getting ready to be leaving soon. Who you haven't really heard from was Simon, you texted him the other day and he didn't get back to you till a day and a half later with a short :
Tuesday 7:24 a.m Y/N: Hey Si🤗, will you be busy tomorrow? I was hoping we could go to that little tea shop, I need a restock. I'll even get us some lunch😋 Thursday 8:47p.m Simon💀🖤: Busy right now luv
Starring at the text you sighed, a whole day later he replied to your text, he's been quiet and where you thought at one time you two were getting close something felt off. You almost wanted to ask Johnny if he knew anything but you weren't sure how to bring it up.
Pushing up from the couch you went into the kitchen and pulled from the oven the brownie you had been baking, dinner was done a while ago but you were waiting for Johnny. He had promised you he would be home for dinner and you were getting slightly tired. Hearing the front door open and his familiar chuckle made you light up as you turned and stepped into the threshold to the living room freezing.
The sight before you felt like you were intruding, the gentle caress of Simon's fingers along Johnny's cheek before he knelt down taking his and Johnny's boots off. When he stood they shared a soft kiss before Simon put his mask back over his lips.
Turning on your heel you stood back in front of the brownie, hands shaking, heart pounding in your chest, the heated kiss between Kyle and Johnny a few days ago was so far different from the soft careful kiss between Simon and Johnny. "Bonnie, ye're still awake?"
You didn't miss the confusion in his tone, rather it stung your heart, he couldn't have forgotten his promise. "Yeah."
Turning to look over your shoulder you seen the way Johnny stepped from Simon, their hands unclasping. When Johnny got behind you, even though you could feel the warmth of his body against your back, his arms wrapping around your waist you felt a cold shiver run down your back. "Thought ye would be in bed by now bonnie, everything okay?"
Nodding your head you moved around him setting the brownie on the table yours and his plate dished up and waiting, "I'm going to bed now, I'm pretty tired." Taking the foil off the plates you tossed them before making your way for the stairs, "Enjoy, you can leave the dishes I'll do them in the morning." Avoiding looking at Simon you quickly went up the stairs and closed the door behind yourself. Tearing up you sniffled before grabbing one of your sweatshirts that you hadn't worn in a while before tucking in under the blankets pulling the hoodie up coiling into yourself. Hearing your phone ding you reached for it.
Big Bear🐻🥰: Hi baby, how was your day? Lil Cub🐻❤️: ok -urs? Big Bear🐻🥰: Baby? Lil Cub🐻❤️: ea? Big Bear🐻🥰: Sweat girl, what's wrong? don't say nothing. -Your texts are usually longer...more cheerful
Your heart ached, you wanted to tell John what you witnessed between Johnny and Simon and how you were feeling but you weren't sure how to say anything. You didn't want to be looked at like a fool.
Big Bear🐻🥰: Do I need to come over? Lil Cub🐻❤️: No, but could I come over tomorrow? Big Bear🐻🥰: Of course -You never have to ask that -I'll give you a key tomorrow Lil Cub🐻❤️: you don't have to do that Big Bear🐻🥰: I will, you're always welcome over, even when I'm not there baby -Now -Are you going to tell me what's wrong -Or will I need to wait till tomorrow to get it out of you? Lil Cub🐻❤️: I think I'll talk tomorrow -I don't know how to really talk about it right now Big Bear🐻🥰: Okay baby -Want me to pick you up tomorrow after work? Lil Cub🐻❤️: No, I'll drive over when you get off Big Bear🐻🥰: Let me know when you'll be off tomorrow and I'll meet you at my place Lil Cub🐻❤️: k, night my big bear🐻🥰❤️ Big Bear🐻🥰: Good night my little cub🐻❤️🫶
Putting your phone on the charger you curled back into the blankets sighing your chest feeling heavy. Closing your eyes when you heard the door open and the sound of both men walking in before the shuffling of clothes reached your ears.
"She sleeping?" Simon's gruff voice filled the room, you tried to even your breathing before you felt the blanket lift in front of you and behind you the bed dipping.
"No, but she's trying to act like she is." The humor in his tone vibrated in his chest as he poked your nose. "Why ye all bundled up bonnie? Cold?"
Feeling Simon shuffle up against your back side you shuffled to a ball nodding your head tucking into the pillow, "Ya"
It was quiet for a moment before they both pushed and squeezed you between them, Johnny untucking your limbs to wrap them around him and through your legs over his waist while Simon inched his hands and arms up your sweat shirt. "Then we'll need to fix that." Simon huffed squeezing your sides before one of his hands slipped over to Johnny holding him.
Unable to fall asleep the whole night you stayed as still as possible taking advantage of when they would shift to push and ease them away from your body, which was hard due to each time they would reach out grabbing hold of each other over you or tightening their grip onto you grumbling. When you ended up finally closing your eyes too tired to fight to push them away your phones alarm blared making you jump and the guys start turning and rewrapping around you groaning. Pushing Johnny you huffed, "Move Johnny." Listening to him grumble you were able to climb over him and turned your alarm off before looking over your shoulder and watching as they hugged each other, Johnny's face nuzzled into Simon's chest their legs tangling. As Simon started slowly dragging his hand up and down Johnny's back you made your way to the bathroom with clothes to change. Doing your morning routine you sighed before stepping out and grabbing a bag, to stuff some clothes in before making your way downstairs and getting your coffee and toast, looking at the washed dishes on the counter. Going to the door you started putting your shoes on and grabbed a spare pair before slipping out going to your car.
Pulling into the parking lot you looked at your phone seeing Johnny calling you. Answering just before the ringing stopped you held the phone to your ear walking in, "Morning."
"Bonnie? Where r'ye?"
"Work, sorry, I wasn't able to make breakfast." There was a pause over the phone as you set your stuff down at your desk waiting.
"Evrthin okay?" The hesitancy and nervousness made you feel guilty and sick.
"Yeah, I'm good." You tried so hard to sound normal, whatever that would be.
"What time ye off, thought we co-"
"I'm going over to John's after work tonight." The words flew past your lips cutting him off before you could even think. The silence that followed was deafening, your heart pounding.
"Oh" You heard the hushed tone of Simon asking what's wrong in the back ground, making you feel like you were third wheeling them somehow.
"I have to go, I'm spending the night over there so, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Bye Johnny." Hanging up before he could respond you set your phone down on your desk staring at it. You almost wanted to call back but decided they can console each other. Getting yourself situated you got to work ignoring the random texts throughout the day from Johnny and surprisingly Simon. But Simon's texts were mostly asking why you were ignoring Johnny, and telling you to at least respond to him. Half way through the day Simon called you and proceeded to leave you a voice mail.
Taking a moment you decided to listen, "Y/N, what's going on? Just answer your phone. You can't answer Gaz and have a 20 minute talk with him to then ignore Johnny right after. Just talk to him, he's worried he did something wrong....... Luv, answer the damn phone." Realizing that you were crying you tried to wipe your face grabbing your things and left, getting into your car you started making your way to John's.
"Hi darling, how's your day?" at hearing you sniffle John set his pen down, "Darlin?"
"I'm heading to your place, I know it's early and your still have work...I'll wai-"
"I'll be there just after you, I'm leaving now." Hearing shuffling and a door closing you sighed.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize, we'll talk properly when I get there." Hearing the firmness in his tone and the care, you tried to stop the tears or broken sob.
"Okay." You really hope you weren't making too big a deal of things but the insecurity of everything was weighing to much on your heart and mind.
"Sweetie, deep breath and relax. Need you getting there in one piece okay?"
"Yeah, yeah I know." Taking the deep breath you made the rest of the way to his place pulling into a spot, "I'm here."
"Right behind you."
Hanging up, you grabbed your over night bag and just before you could open your door it opened and John cupped your cheek looking at you. Breaking again you let him grab your bag from you as you wrapped your arms around him.
"Come on darling, let's get you inside." Following closely behind him you went in. Feeling him pick you up you wrapped your arms around his shoulders before feeling him sit on his couch setting you into his lap. "Okay darling, what's going on?"
Taking a moment to collect yourself you sat up, his hands and fingers carefully wiping tears from your cheeks, "I'm being ridiculous." You whispered.
"No, come on, talk with me." The gentleness of his tone and soft caressing had you thinking of Simon and Johnny.
"Was there ever anything that happened between you all?" The stiff pause before he slowly continued holding you made you pout even more. "Just be honest with me please?"
"We all used to..." Looking up at him he froze up before sighing, "It was long before he met you darling."
"But you all have slept with each other." As he nodded you sniffled, "Have you guys done anything since he and I-"
"No." The firm and quick answer was only reassuring that he hadn't but the gut wrenching feeling that ....
"What about Simon and Johnny?" The broken question made you sob as you stared into his eyes.
"Darling."
"When Johnny and I first started dating he talked about all of you, highly and kindly but he never stopped talking about..." Coughing you shook your head. "It's stupid, I've slept with all of you, I'm d-dating you....but they..." Recollecting yourself you straightened up, "Simon hasn't barely talked to me since that night much anymore and then last night... Johnny had swore to me he would be home for dinner because he hasn't been home like usual and I figured maybe you guys were all getting busy because you guys might be leaving soon. But when they both walked in, the way Simon was touching Johnny, caressing him, and then in bed they were reaching over me." Looking into his eyes you whispered, "I can't help but feel like the mistress that's ruining their happy ending."
John pulled you into his chest kissing your head, his hands rubbing up and down your back, arms, shoulders, everything. Anywhere he can reach he massaged, "I can't begin to tell you how wrong that is, or how much Johnny fucking loves you. When he first just laid his eyes on you, hadn't even talked to you, he was smitten. Talked our ears off on how beautiful you looked and when he finally worked up the courage to start talking to you, he stopped any and all physical relations with us. Every conversation was of your guys happy ending and how taken by you he is." Feeling him laugh you looked up at him, "Bloody fuckin hell luv, when he finally brought you round to introduce you to us, I understood how easy it was for him to be taken by you. I was right jealous and envious, and like I told you before, came back here cock in hand unable to control myself from saying your name every time." Sniffling you giggled, "You didn't ruin any happy bullshit ending darling, you brightened his, ours, all of us. Simon is a man with walls built so high that no matter how much we think we know him....He's quiet but, he cares about you. Dearly, obsessively." He paused for a moment before, "He'd never trust me if he heard me tell you, but darling, when Simon found out Johnny was having you have one night stands and sending him videos, the man was practically begging Johnny to let him sleep with you, bring your nickers for him, pictures or at least send him the videos. At one point he made Johnny do pointless work as pay back for not throwing him a bone to bring him your nickers." The blush covering your face made you tuck your face into his neck.
"Oh my god John."
"I'm serious, but you didn't hear that from me....Nor did you hear that he did steal a pair of your underwear that night we all first slept with you because he wasn't sure if you would want to be with him again." You looked at him with wide eyes.
"Seriously?" You both laughed, sniffling you relaxed into him. "So, I was actually just over thinking then, huh?"
"Sorry darling, but yeah. Johnny wouldn't ever do anything to risk losing you." The soft chuckle in his tone made you blush like a tomato, "Simon really does care about you lil cub." The nick name had you looking up at him. He kissed just beside your lips humming to himself. "Working yourself up like that, poor lil cub."
Feeling thoroughly foolish and slowly aroused by how deep John's voice is getting as he starts calling you by his special nickname. As the both of you started kissing John's phone started ringing. You guys pulled apart as he pulled his phone out, he glanced at you before answering and putting the phone on speaker.
"Cap? Where'r ye?"
You looked at John eyes widening, you held your breathe, "I went home for the day."
The line was quiet, and when you heard Simon question him on where their captain was your heart clenched. "Are you with her?"
You looked down into your lap before feeling his hand on your waist move up and tilt your chin. "Yeah, she's right here."
You pouted not yet sure what to say, "Johnny?"
It was so quiet before a broken sigh rang through the phone and Simon's trying to get Johnny to answer him, "Bonnie, whatever I did, bonnie, I'm so very sorry. Please talk to me. What did I do?" He started breaking down over the phone, you heard what sounded like Simon shuffling and moving Johnny somewhere before a door closed. Hearing Johnny sniffle and pleading for you to talk to him made you cry with him.
"Johnny, Johnny baby listen." The both of you sniffled as you listened to him taking deep breathes, "I'm sorry for not answering you, I'm sorry. You didn't d-do anything, it was just all in my head."
"Hey, no, no Johnny, you and Simon get Kyle and come to my place, there's a bit we need to talk about to clear things up."
"Clear what up?" Simon's voice made you look away trying to turn your body subconsciously from him still ashamed.
Feeling John pinch your side you flinched looking at him with your eye brows scrunched up, "A misunderstanding and something that should've been cleared up from the start of this."
"Oh fuck, Bonnie..." And like that you already knew Johnny could tell what was the matter. "Bonnie-"
"No, not over the phone please." You whispered shame and guilt making you curl back into John's chest.
The line was quiet before both men sighed, "Okay, okay, we'll find Kyle and be right there." Before anyone hung up Johnny sighed again cursing under his breathe, "Bonnie, I love you so damn much."
"Me too." Hanging up the phone you leaned into John again feeling so stupid and scared. You really hoped he wasn't mad at you, hoped none of them would be mad at you, John says they all care about you but they can care and still be annoyed and mad at you. "I'm such a idiot, my big bear." You groaned stuffing your face into his neck.
"Keep up this pity party you have going and I'm going to put you over my knee, lil cub. We'll all talk once they get here, it was an overlooked factor. It'll get cleared up, now stop pouting and calling yourself stupid."
Biting your lip you smirked a little looking up at him, "You'll put me over your knee, big bear?"
The grin on his face before you squealed in surprise when he man handled you to your stomach in his lap, his big palm squeezing and rubbing your ass before a swift slap made you gasp. "I follow through with my word lil cub. Do you need more?"
Trying not to moan, your thighs clenched together before glancing over your shoulder you gripped his leg before arching your back making your ass raise a little into his palm, "Maybe a few more, sir."
~~~~~
I DON'T KNOW! Hopefully ya'll enjoyed, apologize for the big gap in posting, life as been real crap lately. Going to start getting back into the groove of writing again though, have quite a few more story ideas and maybe some shorts. If ya'll have ideas or requests always feel free to send them in. 🤗🫡
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aayakashii · 8 hours ago
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continuing the headcanon that @str8upjorkinit created with a few more houses, since some people asked for it (will post the other houses later I promise!)
Hotarubi and Mortkranken with a S/O that loves to carry them around (with pictures ?!)
Subaru
Turns into a tomato immediately
Apologizes for being carried as if you're not the one that decided to carry him in the first place!!!!
Tries SO hard to think of reasons why you should not be holding him like that, but his mind is just a blue screen at this point
Subaru tried the best he could not to entertain his little crush on you but you really went there and made it impossible 😔
He'll never say it (because he always thinks he's being inconvenient), but he loves when you carry him whenever he's anxious or overwhelmed
You're kinda like his personal weighted blanket and he loves it
Still apologizes constantly, even after you two have settled this into your routine... time to hold him even tighter to maybe squeeze the insecurities away!
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Subaru when you first began holding him vs Subaru after getting KINDA used to you holding him
Haku
Oh he's sooooooo into this
It's a wonder you don't drop him at your feet when he starts flirting with you right away
AND your face is so close to his? He hit jackpot, baby!
Expect him laying his head on your shoulder and flirting shamelessly just to see you getting flustered
It's not like he's not affected though!
He has the wildest butterflies fluttering in his stomach when you hold him so tightly and so close, literally sweeping him off his feet
After a while, you get used to his teasing, so he just enjoys his time on your arms.
If he ends up taking his afternoon nap on your lap, you can't blame him 🫵‼️ you did put him in the moat comfortable place ever (your arms)
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Haku while he's flirting with you vs Haku when he relaxes and naps in your arms
Zenji
HAS THE TIME OF HIS LIFE
In fact, speaking of Time of My Life, you know that old movie, Dirty Dancing? If you can lift Zenji, he Will be forcing you to do the whole choreography with him
and you WILL be taking Patrick Swayze's role because he wants to be the girl who's lifted
Obviously he's excited you can lift him since he's HUGE but in his mind he's just like....... of course you can lift him!!! It's YOU after all!!!
You literally can do anything in his mind. No wonder you're his second favorite person, only behind his little brother.
He feels like a little damsel in distress whenever you carry him in his arms and he loves it, even starts writing more stories with this theme since he's so inspired
Loves it so much that he kinda expects you to do it everyday
Sending thoughts and prayers for your back
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Zenji when you showed him you could lift him vs you after the 1000th time he asked you to carry him
Yuri
CAPITAL H HORRIFIEDDDDDD
Yells "PUT ME DOWN, WORM" like a thousand times
The other students start asking for you to please just put him down so they can work in peace
Because he won't stop yelling and distracting everyone with how dramatic he is
You're having way too much fun though, seeing how he turns the deepest shade of red ever and stutters nonstop about you being insane
He will never not complain whenever you hold him in your arms, but, after a while, he kinda gets used to it
Says it's just a symptom of your derangement and that no medicine seems to fix it 😔 how tragic
To be honest, he kinda likes it a little bit... especially the way he can see your face and your smile from up close... but he'll never ever admit it to himself, much less to you
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Yuri when you carried him for the first time vs Yuri after he resigned himself and accepted that you Will carry him no matter what
Jiro
10000% doesn't mind
He is, however, a bit surprised that you can actually lift him up (after a little bit of struggle since he's the biggest ghoul after all
He thinks it's a little bit funny how you made it a matter of honor to carry him without struggle (which you manage after a while)
Whenever you get spooked and he (sadistically) laughs at your reactions, he allows you to carry him as some sort of peace offering
Jiro used to resist being carried whenever he got sick. His habit of just enduring it by himself for as long as he could was a bit hard to break
Much to his surprise, however, being able to "relax" in your arms as you take him back to Mortkranken made his sudden bouts of sickness less harrowing
Still thinks it's a little bit amusing how silly you look so focused, carrying someone double your size. He can get used to it as well, though
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myz-wykkyd · 3 days ago
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Used my limited graphic design skills to make a chart of all the characters Rosalie has romanced in (almost) every farming sim I've played with her. Lol I'd always wanted to do something like this and I'm pretty happy with the result.
I made a free to use template of it on the right if anyone else wants to show off who they romanced. Feel free to decorate/doo what you like with it- just link back here if you use it so other people can find it o/
Brainrot Below<3
Now, though many of these games involved premade mcs- I've played as some variation of Rosalie in games for as long as I could remember.
I noticed there's a trend that popped up in her choices that I think is as interesting as it is amusing. Ofc, most of these choices were just my personal favorite bachelors of that game, but they were still used to devlop her, and I hadn't realized how much she leaned towards certain professions, personalities, ect. I've concluded my girl loves a hardworking boy whose brooding but sweet- or a golden retriever Marlin: Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life was my first Farming Sim. I didn't get to play the female version until much later in life. So my choice of who'd I/Rosalie married had been pretty decided lonnng before I finally got to play it. But honestly even though I like Marlin, he's kind of the default choice because I didn't care for Rock and Gustafa- and Rosalie wouldn't either. I think if I had ever gotten to play HMDS:Cute I might have liked him more- or she would have married Griffin-
Blue | Harvest Moon: Magical Melody / Friends of Mineral Town: Loved Grey/Blue. (Let's face it their pretty much the same character). Upset the remake took away his hat. Little off topic, but even though character customization wouldn't be a thing in these games for years- I'd used to imagine my character had pink hair like Popuri LOL
Vaughn | Harvest Moon: Sunshine Islands: Vaughn was the first time I ever was head over heels for a character in one of these games- I just adored everything about him and I don't think it's hard to see why. Once she got to know him better, Rosalie def would have been hella smitten for this cowboy- (Also Vaughn walked so Logan could run-)
Owen | Harvest Moon Animal Parade: So Owen is an unexpected deviation. Most of these choices are also my favorites, but when I first played through HM:AP Gil was actually my favorite bachelor. I could have made him and Rosalie work, but it just didn't feel right. So after looking them all over I think she def would have preferred Owen
Dylas | Rune Factory 4: One of my favorite games from the genre- and I think the cast of romanceable characters was STACKED. Dylas was my favorite because he was seriously SO damned cute in all his events 🥰 Also think it's kinda funny he's a horse guy and Rosalie has a lot of horse motifs herself-
Alex | Stardew Valley: REALLY unpopular opinion incoming! I've put over 500+ hrs into SV 😭 but in all that time, I've just never clicked with any of the characters. Which really sucks because this is the first game I ever got to play as Rosalie. Alex and Sam were my favs, but I think Rosalie would lean more towards Alex.
Logan | My Time At Sandrock: Logan 😍💖🥰Just, guh- I LOVE everything about him and MTAS so damn much. Especially because the hyper fixation I had with this game/character was what led me to finalize Rosalie's design/character at long last. I developed so much content for him and Rosalie I never got to share 😭hope I can someday!
Mark | Coral Island: God I love big men who love animals- and Rosalie does too. 💦🥰 Honestly, even though he started out as one of my favorites (later to be replaced by Shark man hoo hoo haw), I wished more of his heart events focused on his relationship with the player instead of the dog. It was really cute at first but like 6 of the 8 cutscenes were about it and most of the time he never even interacted with your character. Was disappointing ngl.
Nokk | Roots of Pacha: Now- Nokk is not currently a romanceable character, but I'm hoping the future update will add him to the roster. 🫠💔Cause this is another case where I LOVE the game to pieces but none of the characters speak to me- aside from the one I can't have- Hayden: Fields of Mistria: and last but not least- Hayden. He just completely encapsulates so much of what Rosalie finds attractive, it's a little funny. I'm waiting until the game is finished to continue playing and I can't wait to see what the future holds for him.
The following will include some honorable mentions that I didn't include because I didn't have anymore room on my template/they weren't a farming sim/ect.
First up! Nathaniel from Sunhaven!<3 Feel like this responsible captain of the guard would work well with Rosalie. Honestly, there weren't really any choices that felt right for her, but for once in many years my main playthrough of the game ended up being with a different character and I had someone pre-picked out for her. So there lots of great choices, just none that suit Rosalie well.
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aidansplaguewind · 1 day ago
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Hi @andreabaideas ! We don't know each other but I follow @mzannthropy and I just wanted to say I agree with everything you said about expressing one's opinions and not caring what others think of it. And yes, especially women. I'm a very opinionated woman and as a result I've been called so many awful things by men. I just don't understand why they can't handle us having a voice. I don't understand what's going on in the US right now and why men are so offended by women in power. I mean, don't get me wrong, I can explain it in ways like they're deeply insecure and their masculinity is incredibly fragile, and they're afraid women no longer need men for anything (including sex) and that, especially, terrifies them. But even knowing all of that, I still just don't understand it. So what if a woman doesn't need you, isn't it enough that one WANTS you? But I think the problem lies there. It means they actually have to TRY to get a woman to want them because the days of women having to get married to survive are mostly gone. And now they have to try to be better people, they have to try to hold an intelligent conversation, they have to try to have varied interests and hobbies etc. And frankly I think most men are lazy when you look at that way and they don't want to put forth the effort to earn our interest and desire.
Anywho...
@mzannthropy I think we discussed this before, about how when I first got into Sam earlier this year I noticed immediately that there was a lot of appreciation and attention on his roles on The Hunger Games, Daisy Jones, and ME Before You. I'm wondering though if these are, in fact, people that I would consider fairweather fans. Not used by exact definition but its the closest I can think of to describe it. It's people who only like a celebrity for like one or two roles and are more in love with the character than the actor. Usually those fans don't stick around once the fixation on said character wears off.
I admit, I'm not as huge a fan of Sam as you or @jesstasticvoyage are, because my heart will always belong to Aidan Gillen, but I do consider myself a genuine fan. I just enjoy watching Sam work. He's extremely talented, unbelievably so. I will also admit that he's a far better actor than Aidan. I can't really put into words what he brings to the screen. A passion for what he does, obviously, but more than that. He's simply fantastic. One of my favorite performances of his is Oswald Mosley in Peaky Blinders. He's despicable but Sam is such a pleasure to watch in that performance. As good looking as he is, he did so well, I still hated his guts as Oswald.
Billy Dunne is also a favorite, even though I know you have a lot of not great opinions on DJATS. I didn't read the book so I have nothing to compare it to, so I did enjoy it very much. I was just baffled at what all he did to achieve that performance. The weight loss, yes, and learning to play an instrument, learning to SING well, recording an entire album. That's dedication. And when he's on screen I 100% believe he is Billy Dunne.
I also really liked him in Their Finest. Devastated by the ending but I loved watching it. His performance in The Corrupted is notable as well because that character just seems so not like real life Sam but he pulled it off completely.
Anyway, I'm getting off my point, which was that I personally think if you only like an actor in one role, you can't really say you're a REAL fan of that actor. A fan of the character, sure, but how can one be a fan of the actor if they only like them in one thing? Or even just two things? Especially if you look at the characters in question. They're these McDreamy type characters written and cast to get the attention of young women and teenage girls. I don't want to sound like a gatekeeper but if you only like one role then you're a fan of the character.
Omg, I just made this post so long. Imma shut up now. I really do have too many opinions sometimes 😅
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Sam Claflin and Holliday Grainger in ‘Any Human Heart’ (2010)  
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ramblingautisticman · 3 days ago
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Recently read All New Wolverine #6 and found out Gabby has kids.
And she named them Logan and Wade.
Our boys' legacy will live on forever. She admits that they are huge handfuls and Laura bassically says "what did you expect?"
And I can't stop thinking about how from the day Wade met Gabs, They were quote "Best friends" end quote.
Like this girl is somehow this mans daughter. "Oh because adoption?" Literally no. And this can be taken as "Wade acts childish" OR Iykyk-
Gabby is exactly how Logan would have behaved minus the truama and if he was raised/ accepted with the knowledge of his claws.
Our boy Logan fits with Wade so much because they are so similar it is unreal. So to see Wade so quick to help Gabby and support her through the craziest of ideas (COUGH "dont tell your sister" COUGH) Not because hes "her friend" but because he knows that Logan is stubborn ASF and if someone dosn't go with this little murder munchkin- someones gonna get hurt. And he'll be damned if its her.
This is actually so beautiful too because while they both can heal, you have "Im in pain 24/7 so this is nothing to me." and "I CAN'T feel pain so I need someone to make sure I dont push myself too far"
Everyone says how Laura is copy and paste of Logan (no duh, they were both extremely abused, experimented on, and were raised to be tough) but no one talks about how Gabby literally has Wade's batshit crazy smile. How Wade HANDS her matches and sits to watch the fire with her. How Wade doesn't tattle on her because he wants her to trust him, and he knows he won't let anything happen to her. How Wade GIVES her chloroform(!??) And tells her it would be irresponsible to NOT give her something to knock someone out if she feels introuble?
Logan can have Laura. He can argue with her all he wants. Wade and Gabs are gonna go play paintball and then get ice cream. WITH sprinkles.
This being said, I think Laura struggles to connect with Wade the same way Gabby does. I think Gabby doesn't struggle to connect with Logan, though, because of how instictivly paternal he is and the fact that he can see tiny innocent James inside Gabrielle.
They are all so over protective of Gabby and it makes me feel sorry for when she gets a boyfriend.... can you imagine trying to have a study date with a girl when both her father AND her sister is the fucking Wolverine? And on top of that her other papa is a phycopathic maniac that will infact throw you off a 10 story building if you make his little girl cry, scrape you off the concrete and throw you in a blender, bake you into a pie, and feed you to your parents...
IM SORRY SHE NAMES THEM WADE AND LOGAN!? THATS SO FUCKING ADORABLE!? MY HEART CANT TAKE IT! Also, no idea if they are in the comic or if it shows how they act, but headcannoning that Logan is the batshit crazy one this time and Wade is the more chilled one, purely because that is really funny in my head?
And Wade is like- so good with kids? Noone ever mentions it, but he really is. Yeah, okay, in his own insane Wade Way (that should be a trademark), but Deadpool 2 is literally him helping a kid because he sees this traumatised abused boy that he NEEDS to help. Someone no one else wants to give a chance, and here Wade is, literally taking him under his wing and protecting him every second.
I've seen some of the panels with him and Gabby (I need to actually read the comics but jesus, there are so many?), and he is so so adorable. The fact he just instantly (similar to Russel in the movie, not exactly the same obviously, but ya know) decides "this is my kid now. I will protect them with everything I can. No one will ever hurt them again." is just- so heartwarming and people don't appreciate it enough!!
I think the girls would definitely struggle to connect to Wade alot because I feel like Wade is ALWAYS the funny, happy dad? He wouldn't want his girls to see him hurt or upset or anything else, so he's always making jokes and bring dramatic, while Logan is the more serious one who you can talk to about anything.
Also, Wade being the overly supportive dad is so fitting. He's stood there filming Gabby just doing something EXTREMELY illegal like "you're doing great sweetie!" and after he is getting her any snack she wants to treat her for doing a good job.
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clonerightsagenda · 3 days ago
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Kat's "I could fix her" Arcane season 2 post Part 1:
Yeah we're skipping straight past the recap/reflections on what this show actually was into my 'just let me into the writers room' post because I'm currently tormented by, ironically, what could have been
What's funny is the characters didn't even end up doomed by the narrative because of their League of Legends fates!! They killed a whole bunch of champions! They just Did All That anyway.
As I was saying in previous posts, the season was overstuffed. I genuinely liked some of the music video portions lol, but there was just so much going on.
I still would put Mel in a Magic Coma for the entire season and spin out her Black Rose plot for a third season or new spinoff (it seems like there will be one anyway). Her storyline as is felt like an afterthought and wasn't fully explained. Am I supposed to know the Black Rose lady? I don't. Being crammed in does her a disservice; I'd rather give her room to breathe. This would create a stronger absent mother/absent daughter bond between Ambessa and Caitlyn, and Caitlyn could see Ambessa claiming to do things for her daughter's sake even though it's obviously stuff Mel would never approve of, and that could force Caitlyn to reflect on how her mother wouldn't approve of the actions she's taking allegedly for her sake. That could sell Caitlyn's immediately re-siding with Vi better.
This may be a very hot take, but I didn't really like the werewolf Vander plotline. My understanding is he's a LoL champion, but he felt particularly cartoonish even in an increasingly cartoonish season, and just kept retreading the same ground. Vander's dead. :( He's alive! :) He's dead again. :( Obviously the cycles are part of the point, and he represents how Vander's death is this monstrous always dying never at rest force between the sisters tying them together and strangling them at the same time, but I'd cut it. Have Vi seek Jinx out after the prison break because she can't believe her sister did that, have Jinx admit she only did it to save one girl, and they reflect on how Vander also did stuff just for kids versus ideals. Make Vi reflect on how her little jaunt with Jayce killed a kid, and here Jinx is saving one, and people are complicated. Still not clear on how Jinx has no negative effects from Shimmer, so give her a few and that can be their new reason for going to Viktor's commune. Ambessa can hear about his new weird magitech without needing a werewolf to pique her interest.
Obviously this raises of the question of what Vi and Jinx are doing in the finale, and while I don't think every character needs a big damn fight scene, they can back up Caitlyn versus Ambessa since Mel won't be there, which also forces them to deal with the Vi-Caitlyn-Jinx tension. IDK if there's a way to have Jinx ambiguously blow herself up in that scenario but here's a thought, maybe the most prominently disabled characters don't all need to die and/or commit suicide? More on that later. Ambessa is subdued, not dead, though, so she and Mel can talk later.
Finally (for this post) I already expressed my frustration that the key class conflict so present in the first season and first half of the second gets mostly shoved under the rug because there's a new enemy to fight. Yes, that's often used as a distraction irl, but that's not a *good* thing. Sevika's sitting at the councilor's table at the end of the show. Who negotiated that? Caitlyn? If we absolutely must go the direction of a big damn final battle, I want to see that conversation and all of the pain and distrust that must've come up during it.
That's the kid gloves version. If I was being aggressive - and I would be - I'd have the fighting totally destroy Piltover with arcane corruption, and now everyone from Piltover has to live in the Undercity/Zaun as refugees. Forget Sevika sitting down at the Piltover table as the new councilors glare at her. Now the Piltover councilors are having to sit awkwardly down at a table with Sevika and Ekko's number 2. (Or Ekko. What is he doing besides sitting sadly on that roof. Is he involved in governance. Is his tree ok.) Piltover suffocated Zaun for years with their industrial runoff. Now they're choking to death on their own magical industrial waste, and they're going to have to learn to live like everybody else.
I am still parsing the whole Viktor, Jayce, and disability thing since as you know that's one of the elements that fascinates me most about this show (the new improved crunchy ableism even as they genuinely try to explore something interesting) so I will be typing a separate post about that, probably thinking through it as I write. Stay tuned.
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delusionalbitchinthehouse · 5 months ago
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Mist and Alpha late night talk be upon ye. Their relationship is very important to me.
It's quiet on the roof. Getting there isn't easy, but once settled, Mist relishes in the sense of peace that washes over her. Tonight, though, she only gets two lungfulls of smoke before a voice cuts through the relative silence of the night.
"Got one for me ?"
How Alpha always manages to find her hidding spots is beyond Mist's knowledge.
"Die," she grumbles without looking at him, even as she extends the pack of cigarettes toward the fire ghoul.
The fact alone that he lights it without flourish tells Mist Alpha is preoccupied. That and the tension sitting heavy in his broad shoulders.
"You good ?" he rasps after a long inhale, voice always a bit veiled, scratching in his throat.
Mist shrugs vaguely, eyes finding a star and latching onto it. There's a long silence, an unusual display of patience from Alpha, before she sighs in defeat.
"Worried about Omega."
A gush of winds raises goosebumps on her skin. She should have brought a jacket. It becomes a bit more bearable when Alpha reajusts his stance and the heat he naturally radiates washes over her.
"Yeah, me too."
Smoke billows in front of them as it escapes their mouths, curling in hypnotizing shapes.
"...don't get me wrong, I love Terzo, I think he's a great guy, but..."
"He's human," Alpha finishes for her, "mortal. And Omega is not. I mean not really. No one's eternal, but us ghouls come close."
With a heavy sigh, Mist nods, lower lip bitten raw and stinging.
"Omega always had a big, bleeding heart. If- when he loses Terzo to human fragility, he's going to feel it with his entire being."
Alpha grunts in agreement. There is no way Omega won't fall appart at the loss of his lover, no matter the circumstances.
"Can't get too close to humans. Will just bring pain."
Mist huffs.
"Hypocrite."
"Fuck you, Secondo and I are just a thing of convenience, nothing more."
What a poor liar Alpha can be, when it comes to these matters, a tremor in his voice and longing in his eyes. Mist raises an eyebrow, tilting her head toward him.
"I didn't even mention him."
Shoulders sagging in defeat, Alpha runs a tired hand on his face, through his hair. Mist wonders if he still struggles to sleep, or if he stays up late just to catch a break, have a quiet moment to himself. If so, her presence doesn't seem to bother him; after all, he sought her out in the first place.
"You still having nightmares ?"
Mist tenses.
"Fuck d'you think i'd be doing here if I wasn't ?"
Alpha doesn't answer. Mist bites her lip, inhales, exhales, shaking off the guilt churning in her guts. It's instinctive, biting when she feels cornered, when a touchy subject is on the table. And if it was anyone else, she probably would storm off. But this is Alpha. The fire ghoul knows, and understands.
"Sorry. I meant, yes, I still have them."
Somewhere in the night, an animal screeches. A cloud momentarily hides the moon. Nightmares are terrible things, forcing Mist to face her deepest fears without being able to do anything about it. She doesn't remember when it started, but now she can hardly spend a night without having her own mind playing those cruel tricks on her.
Some nights, when Mist wakes up with the taste of bile in her mouth and torn sheets sticking to her clamy skin, she forgets where she is. All that she feels is how small and lonely she is.
"You don't have to sleep alone, y'know."
It's as if Alpha read her mind. A tempting offer. Mist considers, stomping on the butt of her cigarette.
"You'd hold me, sparkling ?"
The light tone she tried to inject in her voice falls flat, as does the nickname Alpha hates so much. As it is, he only hums and finally turns fully toward her.
"You know I will. If you let me."
The cloud drifts away, silver moonlight pouring once again on Alpha's face, highlighting the deep scars on his cheek, the days old stubles, the crease between his eyebrows.
"Alright then."
They stare at each other in silence for a while. There is something off with Alpha's expression, like he's trying very hard to school it into his usual bitch resting face. Mist is not sure how to word the question she's burning to ask.
"Do you- did something happen ? You look...upset."
The way Alpha opens his mouth in an instant, ready to retort, lips starting to pull back in a snear, reminds Mist of herself just a few minutes ago. But then he looks away, shoulders and chest rising with the inhale he takes.
"Got into a fight with Pebble."
"Again ?"
Mist isn't sure what Alpha and Pebble's relationship is. Most Siblings and a few other ghouls are convinced they hate each other's guts - and given the amount of screaming matchs they get into, it's a fair assumptions. But Mist knows damn well it goes further than that.
She knows they both respect each other, despite everything. She knows Pebble tends to seek Alpha's gruff approval, even if the earth ghoul would vehemently deny it and possibly comit murder if anyone mentionned it. Mist has keen eyes, and she can see that Alpha orbits toward Pebble much more than you'd expect. That he looks out of the earth ghoul and genuinely seems to care about him, in his own way. Their fights tend to get to both of them, no matter how much they try to shrug them off.
"...yeah. It's fine, we'll get over it, I just...wasn't even trying to piss him off, you know ?"
Yes, Mist does know. Whatever bound those two share, it's torny and full of knots, a difficult thing that's still strong enough never to let them severe it. She hopes the squeeze she gives to his shoulder is enugh to convey her understanding, all the reassurances she doesn't really know how to put into words.
It seems to be, if the way Alpha leans into it with the faintest hint of a purr is anything to go by.
Her musing is interrupted by a jaw-dislocating yawn.
"C'me on. It's so late it's almost early," Alpha mumbles, rubbing his eyes.
They don't speak of the fire ghoul's offer again, but when Alpha steps into his bedroom, Mist is right behind him.
Maybe, tonight, warm limbs will ward off the horrors of the night.
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brummiereader · 20 hours ago
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@mischievouslittlecreature 😬...he's not giving in easily when it comes to Lizzie, is he? At least, not yet. Urghh, I can't watch, but I wana watch 😭🙈!
With the business with Jessie and Lizzie, Lucy feels different to me. I don't know how to properly articulate it, but she just kinda seems like she's just going with the flow but deeply, deeply sad about everything. She just seems...done 😥. Tommy has all these ambitions and things going on with Lizzie, and I get the sense that Lucy has been completely worn down by it all. I appreciate how he's always checking on her wellbeing, but from the readers perspective, we're really starting to see a change in Lucy and how things she once enjoyed are starting to become a burden/anxiety inducing.
“You can’t be unmarried with an illegitimate child if you want to move into politics, Tommy.” Urghh, I know the topic of marriage has to be brought up. But you can tell from both Tommy and Lucy's remarks that neither of them want to be even thinking about the mere idea of it. He's a fucking gangster though! And illegitimate child it's hardly something people should be fussing about considering his line of work 😂. I swear, these posh/high society people have more twisted morals than anyone in Birmingham!
“You okay?” Tommy whispered to her in the dark. When she didn’t respond right away, his voice grew a little strained with worry. “Lucy?” yeh, I'm starting to think she's done with these threesomes now. It starting to look like a chore for her when she once enjoyed it. I find it interesting how she reflects on it, and if it's because of what happened to Luca or Lizzie. But I think that it properly goes further back than that. Little by little we've started to see how, even though they enjoy it, they seek each other out more during those encounters. Maybe they just want each other, but continue with them because it's a force of habit and a job that needs doing. Is Lucy waiting for Tommy to say that's enough now, do you think? Because she really doesn't seem into it.
Looking around, a beat of panic tightened in his throat at no sight of her distinctive crimson hair. His heart started to pound hard in his chest. No. No, no, no, no…he’d just left her there for a second. Ahh Tommy 😭. They way he panicked when he couldn't see her, and how he had to control himself from falling apart when she turned up😩. He's absolutely petrified of losing her again, even for the tiniest of seconds.
Another edition to their family 🥰! I love how Tommy was pouty about it first but quickly caved in when he saw how much Lucy had already fell in love with the little kitten. He's a big softie really! And that line about how he had knocked someone up, so she should be able to keep that cat, got a giggle from me 😂.
Urghhhh it hurts 😭! I know Ruby is an innocent baby in this mess, but my heart still dropped when I was reading about Lucy's struggle seeing Tommy with Lizzie and their little family she doesn't feel a part of Fuck sake Tommy, your pull out method is weak 😬! Look at the heartache you've caused 😩.
She followed Tommy and Lizzie down the stairs, lingering back to let them both go first, walking side by side with their baby while she trailed behind them; alone. Fuck sake...this chapter is really starting to stir my emotions for poor Lucy 😭. I always knew it was gonna be hard to read her seeing Tommy doting on his daughter with Lizzie by his side. I just wish there was something Tommy could do to show her that she's stil his number one girl. But I still understand how his time has now been split between Lucy and Charlie and Lizzie and Ruby. But I have hope that things will get easier for this blended family as Ruby grows up ❤️.
What a fantastic chapter to finish of this part of your story! Off to next part 😍.
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Part 21: The Shadow of the Abattoir
Fandom: Peaky Blinders
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OC
Summary: Tommy's ambitions take them to new heights, but not without consequences looming on the horizon.
Word Count: 4,005
Notes: I originally considered including some more detailed aspects--even potentially a full chapter--detailing Lizzie's pregnancy and Ruby's birth, but I have tokophobia, and just wasn't comfortable going into that much detail regarding that topic. So apologies to anyone who wanted to see more of that. And I promise that the Lizzie drama is only just beginning, and will be a big part of the next couple parts, so please consider checking those out once they're posted if you're interested in seeing a continuation of that aspect of the story.
Also, I just want to give a huge thank you to everyone who has read this story. This is to date the biggest single fic I have ever written, and the support you have given me means so much. I promise to have more featuring Tommy and Lucy out very soon!
Warnings for depictions of insecurity, sexual content, PTSD, and references to torture and pregnancy. Bit of a bittersweet ending here, so sorry about that!
Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Part
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Chapter 29: Shake Hands with the Devil
Returning to work had been the right idea.
Already, Lucy was starting to feel better, work helping to drive the dark thoughts that had been plaguing her lately to the back of her mind. They were still there, but they weren’t nearly as loud as they once were. 
Tommy’s new plan required a good amount of logistics and organizing, both of which she was eager to take on. And another action, one somewhat less desirable, but just as necessary. 
She was surprised at just how easy it was to get Jessie to give up the name of the leader of the cell. All it took was a kiss from Tommy and a declaration that he wanted to help her cause to have information already spilling from her lips. 
But then again, Tommy always seemed to have that effect on women. And Jessie, despite how she may have presented herself, was desperate for connection.
“You alright?” Tommy asked, after Jessie had left the office with the promise that they’d meet up later.
“I feel a little bad for what we’re doing to her,” Lucy sighed, leaning back into him while his hands rested on her upper arms, chin settling on the top of her head.
“If you really don’t want to go through with it, we can figure something else out–”
“No, it’s fine.” She turned around in his arms to face him, resting her head on his chest, leaning into the warmth of his body. 
It was a shitty thing, what they were doing to Jessie. But fucking her was necessary to ensure her loyalty until the election was done. And to maintain the steady stream of information she could provide them about the communists–at least, that’s what Lucy was going to keep telling herself in order to be able to sleep at night. 
“Just…” she worried on her bottom lip, feeling Tommy’s hand settle protectively on the back of her head. “Promise me that you won’t come in her.” She didn’t need to specify as to why, feeling him tense a little against her of the reminder of Lizzie and her approaching due date. 
“I promise.”
She cleared her throat awkwardly. “We really should talk about what you want to do about Lizzie.”
“What do you mean?”
She hesitated, unsure as to how she could properly broach the subject to him, feeling a tear begin to cleave its way through her heart in response to what she was about to suggest. Even as she forced the words to come out. 
“You should marry her.”
Tommy jerked back, staring at her with a furrowed brow, frown pulling his lips downwards. “What?”
“You can’t be unmarried with an illegitimate child if you want to move into politics, Tommy.” Knowing him, winning the position of MP was just the beginning. He had big things ahead of him. “You have to project the right kind of image. And if you want to be able to be involved in any sort of significant way with the baby…”
“But I love you,” he said softly. “If I’m going to marry anyone–”
“It needs to be the mother of your child,” Lucy finished for him stubbornly. He shot her a wounded look. 
“I don’t want to marry her.”
We don’t always get what we want, she thought, but bit her tongue. If things had been different, maybe it could have been her that he would marry. But they weren’t. 
“And besides, what about you?” he pressed.
“I think that I’m a small price to pay for the betterment of your child’s life and your career.”
The hurt in his eyes deepened. “Well I don’t!”
“Tommy…”
“We’re not talking about this,” his jaw twitched unhappily as he shook his head, turning towards his desk.
“Sweetheart, please…”
“I’m not giving you up.” That stubborn sharpness entered his eyes, jaw setting, and she knew that she would get nowhere with him on the subject. At least not yet. He’d have to see with his own eyes that she was right before he budged on it. 
She sighed. The last thing that she wanted to do at the moment was fight with him. “Alright.”
They did not speak of the matter again. Though it lingered in the air between them like a ghost. 
∗ ∗ ∗
They laid side by side in the narrow bed, Tommy in the middle with Lucy on one side of him, Jessie on the other. He was thumbing at his brow with one hand, staring up at the ceiling while Jessie slipped out from under the sheets to go get dressed. Lucy watched her lazily, shifting to tuck herself more closely into Tommy’s side. His arm dropped to wrap around her shoulders, fingers tracing over her back. She shifted nearer to him, suddenly needing the closeness.
“You okay?” Tommy whispered to her in the dark. When she didn’t respond right away, his voice grew a little strained with worry. “Lucy?”
“‘M okay,” she said, nestling her head more firmly on his chest, eyes still watching Jessie carefully. They could not talk while she was in the room with them. At least not really. 
She ached pleasantly between her legs from having him buried inside her but only a few moments ago. And while the pleasure from the orgasm he’d given her was still rushing through her veins, she was coming down from it rapidly, crashing back to earth in an unpleasant plunge. 
It would appear that Lizzie’s pregnancy had more or less killed a lot of the enjoyment that threesomes once held for her. She’d felt an unfamiliar surge of anxiety as they’d taken Jessie to bed, the kind that sex normally helped to dull. But this time the tumultuous, overwhelming feelings only seemed to grow as she watched Tommy fuck their new lover. Even though he’d kept his promise and not emptied himself inside of Jessie, the threat of yet another unintended accident from their liaison had set her so on edge that she found it almost impossible to fully lose herself even in Tommy’s familiar kisses and touches.
She was pretty sure that he was able to sense her nervousness, but whether he was able to guess the actual reason, or thought that she was just anxious because this was the first threesome they’d had since what had happened with Luca, she wasn’t sure. Either way, despite Jessie being the primary focus of the evening, he was being notably attentive towards her, eyes constantly darting over to check on her throughout, warm mouth seeking out her skin in attempts to pull her out of her own head. 
He was looking at her that same way now, a slight crease forming between his brows. Lucy offered him a weak smile that only caused the look of concern to deepen, his other arm joining the first in wrapping around her so that he was hugging her tightly. Lucy squeezed him back, closing her eyes and burying her face in his chest. As if by doing so she could somehow hide away from the entire world. 
∗ ∗ ∗
Tommy left his meeting with Arthur Bigge in high spirits. It had taken some convincing, but all his conditions had been met. Everything was going according to plan. 
Well, not everything. Lucy was still worrying him. She was doing considerably better than she had been during their holiday, but she still wasn’t wholly herself. 
She used to smile and laugh so easily. Even at the absolute worst of his jokes, or with the smallest little bit of teasing, and he could have her giggling, trying to shield it behind one of her hands even as her mossy green eyes lit up, entire face crinkling with mirth.
But nowadays, a melancholic aura had draped over her, seeming to cling to her skin, casting a film of sorrow over her eyes. Of course Tommy did not expect her to go back to the way that things were before Luca. But it killed him to see her so despondent and broken. 
He missed hearing her laugh. 
What he would give to make it all better for her. To pull the sadness out of her eyes. Take it into himself, if he had to. Just so long as she didn’t have to carry it anymore. 
She was still having nightmares and the occasional panic attack, as was to be expected. He had been worried originally that all the work that came along with preparing for the election would cause her too much stress. Especially with how fragile she still was. But if anything the work seemed to help, so he let her be. 
But her comments about how he should marry Lizzie had struck a nerve in him, planting a seed of dread in his chest. He had always assumed if he were to ever marry again after Grace, it would be to Lucy. No one else. Especially not Lizzie.              
He had meant what he’d said. He wasn’t letting her go. He’d rather burn his reputation and even the entire bloody company to the ground before he even considered something like that. But his Lucy seemed incapable of understanding that, and he was beginning to grow more and more worried that no matter how much he tried to reassure her, she was doubting her place at his side.
When he first brought up the idea of running for MP, she had asked him what was to become of her position as his assistant after he took office. The question had taken him aback. It had seemed so obvious to him that she would come with him. He’d hardly given it any real thought. Wherever he went, so did she. That was how things had always been, and he had no intention of changing them. Her worries seemed only somewhat abated when he smiled and coyly told her that MPs still needed assistants. It wasn’t long before she was fretting over the possibility of rumors spreading regarding their relationship and tarnishing his reputation. 
As if his reputation was not already drenched in blood and mud. 
He’d just grinned and kissed her temple, trying to appear relaxed and unbothered by any of it. Hoping that if he did, it would help to soothe her. 
“Most politicians are sleeping with their secretaries, love. We won’t exactly be unique in that regard,” he’d told her. It seemed to have calmed her concerns enough. At least for the moment. 
Adjusting the grip on his briefcase, he pushed out of the door and stepped into the crisp fresh air. Glancing around, he frowned when he didn’t spot Lucy on the bench where he’d left her before going in for the meeting. Bigge had wanted to meet with just him alone, and while Tommy had been inclined to kick up a fuss about it until he let Lucy accompany him, she’d insisted that he shouldn’t risk irritating Bigge just so she could be in the room while they struck their deal. 
He hadn’t been particularly happy about it, but ultimately he had to admit that she had a point. 
Looking around, a beat of panic tightened in his throat at no sight of her distinctive crimson hair. His heart started to pound hard in his chest. No. No, no, no, no…he’d just left her there for a second, she’d been armed, there were dozens of people around, surely she couldn’t have been just snapped up right off the street…
His head swiveled around, scanning the people passing by him. Maybe he’d just missed her. She was so short, it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility that he’d just lost her in the crowd of people.
He was just beginning to properly panic when he heard his voice at his elbow. 
“How did it go?”
He whirled, eyes wide, chest still heaving with the startings of his panic attack, to find her standing there none the worse for wear, black coat pulled in tight around her.
Relief hit him like a blast to the face, and it took all his self control not to seize her in his arms and squeeze her tight to him. Instead he just let out a deep breath, shoulders relaxing. His eyes closed as he steadied himself, taking the time to remind himself that she was there and she was fine.
He opened his eyes again to find her still looking up at him, head cocked curiously. “Where were you?” he demanded, tone perhaps a bit sharper than he’d intended. 
“I got bored, so I went for a walk.”
“Oh.”
“Sorry.”
“No, it’s just…you weren’t here and I…” he huffed. “It’s alright. C’mon,” he indicated with his head towards the car that he’d parked on the edge of the curb. He held open the door for her, then slipped in after she’d gotten settled in the passenger seat. Setting his briefcase down and closing the door behind him, he turned to look at her. There was an odd bulge in the front of her coat. His eyes narrowed. The bulge twitched. “What’s that?”
Lucy clutched her coat tighter to her body, blinking up at him innocently. “What’s what?”
“What’s wrong with your coat?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Her coat meowed. Tommy raised an eyebrow. Lucy pouted, letting the garment fall open to reveal a tiny little black and orange tortoiseshell kitten hidden underneath, blinking up at him with scrutinizing green eyes. 
“What the bloody hell is that?”
Lucy stroked the little animal’s head. “It’s a kitten, Tommy. Surely you’ve heard of them before.”
He rolled his eyes. “I know what a kitten is, Lucy. What’s it doing tucked in your coat?”
“I heard her crying in the alley behind the bench I was sitting at. And when I went to look, she was soaking wet and shivering all alone in this little box. I couldn’t just leave her there.”
“The fuck are we going to do with a stray kitten, Luce?”
She shrugged. “We can keep her at the house. She could help with the mice problem.”
“We don’t have a mice problem.”
“And now that we have a cat, we never will.”
He eyed the kitten warily, still feeling like she was sharply analyzing him. Her little tail flicked back and forth, paws kneading at Lucy’s thighs. When Lucy scratched at the top of her head, she angled her face up, and batted at her playfully with one soft paw. Lucy giggled. 
Tommy looked up sharply at the sound, biting the inside of his cheek to try to maintain his serious facade even as he felt himself soften at the sight of her smiling down at the cat. 
“And you immediately assumed that I’d be alright with this?” he asked, the amusement obvious in his voice.
“You don’t have much of a choice.” Lucy flashed him a grin before her attention returned to the kitten, who’d curled up into a ball on her lap. Tommy raised an eyebrow, fond smile threatening to break containment as it tugged on the edges of his lips. 
“No?”
Lucy looked up at him, a challenge entering her eyes. “You knocked someone else up.”
He opened his mouth to respond, then closed it. “You know what–that’s fair.”
She snickered, leaning forward to peck his cheek to let him know that there was no real bite to her words. Tugging off one of his gloves, he held his hand out to the cat. She sniffed at his knuckles, whiskers twitching with consideration, and then rubbed her cheek against his hand. 
“She likes you.”
“Mm.” He gave her a few scratches under the chin, begrudgingly admitting to himself that the kitten was pretty fucking cute. And Lucy was right; the least he could do was let her keep the cat. “We’ll have to get her checked out by the vet before we take her home.” 
“Of course. Who knows what she might’ve gotten into living on the streets. Poor baby.”
Tommy let his hand stroke over the kitten’s back. She was so little, he could probably have fit her in one palm when she was all curled up. He felt a slight buzz under his hand as she started purring. He could feel Lucy watching them both fondly. 
“So it went well?”
“Hm?”
“The meeting with Bigge. Did it go alright?”
He smiled at her softly. “Yes; it went alright.” 
Her face lit up, leaning into him. “Good.”
He turned his face to catch her lips with his, kissing her gently in celebration.
Between them, the kitten meowed. 
∗ ∗ ∗
“Don’t you dare.”
Lucy grinned to herself as she approached Tommy’s office, hearing his voice even before she pushed open the heavy wooden door. She was greeted with the sight of the kitten perched on his desk, her little paw batting his box of matches closer and closer to the edge, her head cocked with intrigue. 
Her green eyes peered over at him, holding his gaze, and promptly batted the box onto the floor. Tommy sighed, reaching across to scoop the little monster up and plop her down onto his lap. “You’re gonna be a little troublemaker, aren’t you?” But he was smiling to himself, a dimple appearing in his cheek when the kitten meowed in agreement. 
Lucy smiled as she stepped fully into the office, walking over to set down a fresh stack of papers onto his desk. “Need you to sign these.” She collapsed back into a chair across from him as he plucked up a pen. 
Her hand raised to rest against the side of her face as she watched him. With every passing day, the election drew nearer, and with it, her anxiety grew. 
She’d been keeping an ear to the ground, regarding anything that might hinder him winning. But so far, with all the careful bribing and other methods of rigging that they’d implemented holding strong, it seemed like it would be an easy path to victory.
But there were some rumblings regarding Lizzie and the pregnancy that had started to spread. Lucy was pretty sure that they could keep them suppressed at least until the election was over. But not indefinitely.
It was going to become a problem.
She supposed it was almost funny, in a way. How being unmarried with an illegitimate child was likely to cause more harm to his reputation than being a notorious gangster. 
They needed to address it. Figure out what they were going to do. And the longer that they took, the more damage the whole situation was likely to cause. 
The kitten jumped into her lap, curling up with a soft purr. Lucy let her hand stroke mindlessly through her black and orange fur.   
“Tommy?”
He looked up at her through the glinting lenses of his glasses, eyebrow raised, papers still clutched between his fingers. 
“Yes?”
She’d been reluctant to bring up the subject ever since he so thoroughly shut her down the last time over it. But if she was being truly honest with herself, that wasn’t the only reason why she’d so willingly let it go.
She didn’t want him to marry Lizzie. And she sure as hell did not want to let him go. 
We’ve still got some time. We don’t need to do anything about it yet.
She swallowed hard, feeling like the worst, most selfish scum on the earth, even as she forced a wobbly smile on her face. 
“Never mind.”
∗ ∗ ∗
Time passed at seemingly the speed of light. And before she knew it, she was standing next to Tommy, the rest of the family–except for Lizzie who had to wait outside with the baby–crowded around him. They were all waiting with baited breath as the results of the election were announced over the loudspeaker. Lucy could feel her guts twisting nauseatingly inside her with nerves, heart leaping into her throat. 
It had been an insane handful of months, and they’d all seemingly passed within the blink of an eye. She didn’t even know where all the time had gone. 
Not long before the election took place, Lizzie gave birth to a baby girl, already bestowed the name Ruby by Polly before her arrival into the world.  
And oh, did Tommy love that little girl. 
It was heartwarming to see him fall so deeply in love with her, and every moment spent watching him with her made Lucy’s heart jump. 
But God, did it also hurt.
She kept her melancholy and jealousy over the gorgeous little family he now had with Lizzie tucked down deep and away, where no one would ever find it. Ruby was a sweet baby, and she deserved nothing but good things in life. And Lucy did love her. Enough that she was more than prepared to walk away forever if she had to in order to give that girl a chance at growing up with a proper family around her. 
She knew it made Tommy sad, to not be able to see her all the time. Ruby and Lizzie still lived at the home Tommy had bought for them, and while he visited when he could, he still did not get to see his daughter as often as he would if she lived at Arrow House. 
They still had not had the conversation about what to do regarding that situation long-term. She’d tried to bring up the idea of him and Lizzie getting married again a handful of times, especially after Ruby’s birth, but Tommy still wouldn’t hear of it. 
A part of her was worried that, despite the promising polls, his personal life would hinder his victory. And it would all be her fault. Because she had been selfish and decided to try to hold onto him, even though the selfless thing–the responsible thing–would have been to let him go so he could build a proper personal life to go along with his new ambitions. 
A huge breath of relief left her when his name was announced over the loudspeaker, a wide smile quickly replacing the look of apprehension that had been there a moment prior. She hugged Tommy back tightly in celebration when he engulfed her in his arms, briefly forgetting that she was trying to behave more distantly towards him in public. Like a mere colleague rather than a lover. To try to save his reputation before the rumor mill fully caught wind of their affair and ran with it. 
“I now declare Thomas Shelby to be the new Labor Member of Parliament for the constituency of Birmingham South,” the announcer boomed for all to hear. Not just in the room that they were all crowded in to hear the results, but across the entire bloody country. 
Cheers erupted, everyone in the family swarming around him, all smiles and uninhibited joy. They soon made their way to the doors, out to where Lizzie was waiting with Ruby clutched in her arms. Tommy beamed as he scooped Ruby up, lifting her high above his head, the baby squealing and giggling in delight. Lucy smiled at the display and the baby’s happy coos as her father adjusted her to rest on his hip and carry her with him down the rest of the stairs. But her smile quickly fell when she spotted Lizzie flashing a truly snide smirk at Jessie where she was standing in the crowd. A tendril of trepidation coiled itself around her, wondering if she would be on the receiving end of such a look sooner or later. Lizzie had been behaving decently towards her as of late, but she was not fool enough to expect that to last.
She followed Tommy and Lizzie down the stairs, lingering back to let them both go first, walking side by side with their baby while she trailed behind them; alone. 
And despite their current string of good fortune, of endless possibilities and new doors opening up before them, she found herself struggling to muster up any real hope for the future. 
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butterflysonnets · 10 months ago
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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.
to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!
i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.
also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.
they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.
they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.
i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.
#eve text#elmike#stranger things#byler#only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol#tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS#god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear#i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable#i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts#elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about#even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike#i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up#the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me#and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing...#the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me#and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin#also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice…#fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK#so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows#i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too???#love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk#tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO...#like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO#stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest#anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul#i need frivolity#ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show
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averlym · 1 year ago
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some very very quick costume shorthands!
#&juliet#had the absolute luck of watching this live the other night and it was. truly amazing!!! aaah#rough character designs for the younger leads (excluding like the Grown adult duos..) because?? idk#this is how it always starts. once the character designs start getting simplified like this that's when it all begins#which is hmmm timing but i really can't shut up about this musical it was so so fun. absolute vibes and energy#made me laugh and cry and was such an Experience. i adore them all but may specifically made me sob at some parts dfjkldfh#lots of thoughts! but one of the favs is how they wrote it so the existing songs and actions fit so well.#like in a rhyming bit they had frankie accept a drink and then the song was like ''drink in hand'' and i was all !!!!!!#also maybe it's local censorship? but there wasn't the kisses.. they replaced it w kissing hands and then holding hands#which is like a cute nod to the ''hand to hand holy palmers kiss' or smth but also maybe two guys doing that would not have made it past :/#oh my god i. the way rnj parallels the shakespeare duo... whdskjfhgh. may + not being a Girl kdjhgf. frankie and may. aaagh.#angelique being so so badass. i . the speech about Gender by anne and the Proposal by angelique both made the whole theatre cheer love that#also rotating stage lives in my mind rent free i ADORE the set holy moly.. also also the actors were so good. also the Projections.#also the music and costumes and special effects and aerial moments. and the ensemble. and the choreo#also the cast is so talented. and pretty. and the whole confidence part vs the vulnerability of some bits... whshjfgjkl. hhh#im just listing stuff now but it was so vibes. what an experience ever. it's also shot me directly into 14-years-old again so#spent the morning alone vibing to the soundtrack intensely... i just... sometimes things hold special places in your heart idk!!!#i don't know what to do with these designs though... like the show is such a lovely Spectacle but also idk where to branch out by myself no#there's so much to Absorb again and again. i get the feeling any true work from this i would do in a form of an animatic though.. oops#tldr? 1. &juliet very good just as itself 2. we have History 3. i got to see it live which always propels me into bonkers over musicals!#so so rough but i needed to get smth out and . whatever. an art blog is an art blog. back to hiatus now i think#<reminder to myself: this is essentially an artchive.. there's no quality control if you don't want it! have fun!! ily>
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