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#it's always a joy to write something for you
evertidings · 3 days
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it's out it's out!! after nearly a year of writing blocks and crying and wanting to throw the entire story away (which i'm now glad i didn't), you can enjoy chapter eleven NOW on itch.io !!
IN THIS CHAPTER.
have a mental breakdown
get closer to Blane?? (wait since when were they this nice)
experience some more bickering from K and Rylan (but for different reasons than usual, you'll see)
spar with A and N! (yes we're bringing that back)
try not to break down... again
STATS. 514,500 words (+42.5k)
LINKS. ko-fi & patreon
i know it's been a very long wait for some of you (and it has been for me too, believe me), but thank you for being patient! whether you found this game today or were here from the very beginning, your support means the world to me. i'm so incredibly grateful to have this many people care about something that i'm passionate about. the chapter is on the shorter side, but i hope that it brings you joy (or not? i can't say the content is very joyful) regardless. i promise chapter twelve will take less time than eleven did.
as always, please let me know what you think! oh, and don't hate me for the cliffhanger.
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marcyvampire · 2 days
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pt.2 SILLY LITTLE BAT
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pairings ⸺ Yandere! Platonic! Batfamily x Anti-hero! Fem!reader.
sinopsis ⸺ Gotham was on the verge of burning, like a new Troy condemned to fire. On every corner, the echo of her name resounded like a shadow impossible to catch. The Waynes, furious and desperate, moved heaven and earth, using every resource at their disposal—every contact, every coin, every secret. On the news screens, her face appeared relentlessly, and in police stations, "wanted" posters hung with the image of the missing young woman. Bruce had retreated into darkness, unable to accept that he had let the most fragile part of his family slip away.
But she, the forgotten daughter, did not want to be found. She moved through Gotham’s shadows, not as prey, but as a hunter. The city, which had devoured her mother and shaped her, called to her, inviting her to plunge into its chaos. She was tired of being a ghost in a mansion of ice, tired of a life that had never claimed her.
Gotham would be hers. Not as a hero, not as a villain. She would become the city's saving god, something not even her father's vengeance could foresee. And every time she saw her face projected on the news, she felt a mix of rage and pain. They weren’t searching for *her*, but for who she had once been: a lost girl, a mistake they wanted to correct.
But she was no longer that girl.
And soon, Gotham would know her name.
warnings ⸺ Dark Themes, Dead, Religion, murdering,Disturbing Content, Unhealthy Obsession, Discrimination, Street Fights, Gaslight, Violence, Blood, LGBT Content, Child Abuse, Kidnapping, Implicit Sexual Content, Mental Illness, Addiction, Torture, Corruption, Isolation, Trauma, Phobias, Paranoia, Manipulation.
Chapter guide! Pt.1.
A/N — English is not my first language—Spanish is—Honestly, I didn’t expect this to succeed or fail; in fact, I wasn’t expecting anything at all. But suddenly, overnight, I found myself with almost 100 followers. For some, that might not be much, but for me, it’s a big surprise. I’m so grateful that you all enjoy my writing style, and I definitely plan to continue with more parts of this. Kisses! 💕.
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I think im dying
But thats ok!
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Alfred was a man trained since childhood to serve. Throughout his career, he learned to maintain composure, to be the calm pillar in the darkest moments. He had been that way when he saw the lifeless bodies of the Waynes, when he cleaned Bruce's blood after countless battles, and when he faced the terror of losing him forever. However, that day, something within him broke.
He saw her, his little Y/n, standing on stage in her gown and cap, trying to smile through unshed tears. The room was filled with applause and shouts of joy, but beside her... only he. No other familiar faces. No mother, no brother, no father. Alfred was alone to see her graduate.
When she finally emerged from the throng of students, he found her set apart, sitting on a bench, gazing at the horizon, alone, as she had been so many times in her life.
"Congratulations, miss," he said with a soft bow, as he always did, but this time his voice was lower, more laden with emotion than he would have wished.
Y/n turned slowly, and a barely perceptible, broken, and empty smile formed on her face, the shadow of what once was. Her eyes, reddened from restrained crying, sparkled like shattered glass under the afternoon light. That smile, which had once been a reflection of her youthful joy, was now tinged with melancholy, like a wilted flower under the weight of loneliness. Alfred felt his heart constrict at the sight of her pain. Each tear that rolled down her face, a face as delicate as velvet, seemed to carry years of silent suffering.
She was beautiful, even in her sadness, with a beauty that stemmed not only from her appearance but from the courage with which she had faced her life. A life marked by absence, by loss, by the feeling of emptiness that grew larger on days like this. Ten years had passed since that shy and hopeful girl arrived at Wayne Manor, and now, before him, he saw a woman who had grown not only in age but in strength. And yet, beneath that strength, Alfred could feel the latent pain, that longing for something that never came, for a family that had left her alone too soon.
Y/n hugged herself, as if her own arms could provide the comfort she so desperately craved, the warmth that had been denied to her. It was a hug of solitude, of silent resilience, a gesture she had repeated countless nights when shadows were her only company. Alfred, by her side, perceived the hidden fragility behind her bravery, the weight of a burden she had carried since childhood. The years had hardened her spirit, but they had not extinguished that deep need to be loved, to be seen. And now, on the brink of her graduation, that moment that should have been one of pride and celebration, she found herself alone, save for him.
"I thought... that at least Dad would be here today," she whispered, her voice breaking, without looking at Alfred. "That maybe, if I tried hard enough, if I got here... he could be proud. But..." her voice trailed off, and her shoulders trembled.
Alfred could not contain the sadness in his heart at seeing her so vulnerable, so broken. He had witnessed her growth, how she had learned to smile despite the shadows, how she had endured the absence of a mother who would never return. And now, at this crucial moment in her life, the weight of that absence and the abandonment of her family was too great to ignore.
"Thank you, Alfred... although, to be honest, it doesn't feel like something to celebrate."
"And why shouldn't it be?" Alfred asked, slowly approaching.
She sighed, shrugging her shoulders.
"Because no one came... Well, you did. You're always here, but..." she paused, biting her lip. "I hoped that, at least, Mom would be here. I don't know, sometimes I like to imagine that... that she could have been proud. That I'm studying, that I didn't give up. But... maybe all of this means nothing without her."
Alfred felt his heart heavy upon hearing her. He knew how much Y/n missed her mother, and although she never said it aloud, her pain was evident. He, who had witnessed so many moments of loss, felt a lump in his throat. For the first time in a long time, he didn’t know what to say immediately.
"Your mother... would be incredibly proud of you, miss. More than you could ever imagine," he finally replied, his voice trembling slightly as he extended his hand and gently stroked her shoulder. "But believe me when I say this: I would prefer that you not follow the same path as others in this house. Neither Bruce's... nor Barbara's... nor so many others."
She looked at him, a bit confused, as tears finally began to run down her cheeks.
"What do you mean, Alfred?"
"I mean, Miss Y/n, that I hope you live a... different life. I don't want you to end up in a dark cave, fighting evil night after night. I would prefer... that you fall in love, have children, a family that gives you the love you deserve, a life far from the suffering and violence that has marked this city." Alfred paused, struggling against his own emotions, but continued. "And your mother, if she were here, would wish the same. She would want you to be happy, not just strong."
Y/n listened to him in silence, feeling the warmth of his words, the weight of expectations she never asked to bear. She nodded slightly, drying her tears.
"It's hard to imagine that..." she murmured. "A normal life. With a family, love... All of that seems so... distant, impossible. I've been alone for so long."
"You have never been alone, miss. Perhaps you haven't noticed, but there have always been those who love you. Myself included," Alfred said with a small smile, even though his eyes were watery. "And know that the future... can surprise you. If anyone deserves to find happiness in this world, it is you."
There was a long silence between them, broken only by the echoes of voices in the distance, the applause of other families gathered. Y/n sighed deeply, letting Alfred's words sink in. Despite the pain, for the first time in a long time, she felt a spark of hope. A small light in the midst of darkness.
"Thank you, Alfred," she murmured, hugging him tightly. "I don’t know what I would do without you."
And in that embrace, Alfred allowed himself to cry, if only a little. He cried for the girl he had cared for, for the dreams she could still have, and for the love she deserved, beyond the shadows that surrounded the Wayne family.
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The sound of the television filled the vast hall of Wayne Manor, cutting through the silence like a knife. The lights of the screen flickered, reflecting in the dark windows as if the very night sky had become restless.
"Breaking news: The disappearance of Y/n Wayne has shocked Gotham. Close sources indicate that a substantial reward has been offered for any information leading to her whereabouts. She is sought alive or dead."
Lois Lane's soft voice speaking about her little sister terrified Dick, as images of Y/n were displayed on the screen, a photo of her smiling face, followed by blurry footage captured by security cameras showing her last sighting before vanishing. The words “alive or dead” echoed over and over in the minds of those listening. They were an unrelenting echo, stripping her of humanity, turning her into a target.
Bruce stood in front of the screen, motionless, but his fury radiated from his body like the suffocating heat before a storm. His fists were clenched so tightly that his knuckles turned white. His jaw was tight, eyes fixed on the screen, a mix of anger and contained desperation.
Beside him, Damian sat on the couch, petting Titus while his emerald eyes shone bright, attentive, but his expression was hard. He had been trained not to show weakness, but at that moment, the anguish was impossible to hide. Frustration and fury reflected in his young features, hardened by a life of struggle. How dare you leave the manor when you were so weak? Hadn't it been made clear when he used his katana on you? You were a fool to trust that you would be better on the streets of Gotham than in your warm silk bed at the manor. He wanted to act, wanted to go out and find her, but Bruce had not allowed anyone to leave the manor until they knew what to do.
The sound of the television continued to fill the void of the manor, with its constant and cruel echo. The words "alive or dead" resonated like funeral bells, a sentence that none of them could bear, yet also could not remove from their minds. Each was lost in their own storm, a mix of anguish, guilt, and regret weighing on their shoulders like a burden too large to carry.
Jason leaned against the wall, his figure in shadows as he played with his weapon, a nervous gesture he performed without thinking. The manor's rules prohibited weapons in the living room, but what did rules matter now? The cold metal in his hands was the only thing keeping him tethered to reality. He couldn't watch the television; he simply couldn’t. Seeing his sister's face on that screen tore his soul apart. His sister… strange to call her that now, after everything that had happened between them. How could he? He had been cruel to her, distant. Every time she sought his friendship, he pushed her away with harsh words, as if he were an impenetrable wall.
The pain enveloped him, sharper than any wound he had received in battle. If she showed up dead… would he weep for her death as she had wept for his? That time, when he came back to life, he learned that Y/n had shed tears for him, and still, he left her to her fate. What if now it was he who would have to mourn her? No, he couldn’t think of that. He didn’t want to think of that. She wasn’t dead. She couldn’t be.
Dick leaned against the staircase railing, arms crossed, staring at the ground. The news anchor's words repeated in his mind like an endless echo. "Alive or dead." How had it come to this? He, who always prided himself on being the older brother, the protector, had so many times ignored Y/n's silent pleas. She had grown up looking for a place among them, and he… had simply moved on, too focused on his own role as Nightwing, as a mentor, as everything he didn’t need to be for her. And now, she was lost in the darkness of Gotham, and all he felt was regret. An emptiness he didn’t know how to fill.
Tim was in a corner, his head in his hands, fear coursing through every part of his body. His mind, always analytical, always calculating, couldn't find a solution. The fear paralyzed him. He remembered the times he had dismissed Y/n, the times he had been too cold, too focused on his own missions to really see her. Now, that indifference was devouring him from within. What if she was alive, scared, trapped in some corner of Gotham, crying for help? What if they didn’t arrive in time?
Cassandra sat silently on the floor, legs crossed, observing everyone’s reactions without saying a word. Her emotions, though more contained, were equally deep. She remembered the times Y/n had tried to reach out, but she, unable to connect in the way she had wanted, had pushed her away without realizing. The regret felt like a knot in her throat, one she didn’t know how to untie.
Stephanie, sitting next to Barbara, had tears in her eyes that she wouldn’t let fall. She remembered every time she had joked with Y/n, not realizing the pain those words could cause her. How had she not seen the suffering in her eyes? Now, it was as if the air had become unbreathable, and guilt suffocated her more with each passing second.
Barbara, her gaze fixed on the screen, could not bear the thought of losing Y/n. Not after all she had already lost. The times she had ignored Y/n's insecurities, believing she would adapt, that she would find her place like everyone else had, now felt like daggers in her heart. What if those insecurities had led her to this moment? What if they had lost her forever? Damn you, you had every right to hate her if they found you. Because hope still remained, right?
Right?
Suddenly, Damian stood up, furious. He walked over to the television and turned it off with a slap, the remote trembling in his hand as he let it fall to the floor.
"What good does it do to listen to it over and over?" he roared, his voice filled with desperation. "We can't just sit here, waiting!"
"Damian…" Bruce looked at him with a mix of exhaustion and rage, but before he could say anything more, Damian interrupted.
"It’s our fault!" he shouted, eyes locked on his father. "If anything happens to her, if… if we find her dead in some Gotham alley, it will be our fault. I don't want to be part of that. I don't want to be the one who keeps waiting."
Bruce gritted his teeth, struggling to maintain his composure. He knew Damian was right, but they couldn’t just rush out without information. Still, his son’s words struck him deep.
"What if it's already too late?" Damian asked, his voice shaking, cracked with fear. "What if she’s alive… but scared, trapped somewhere? Alone, waiting for us to save her? Or worse, Bruce?"—his voice became barely a whisper, trembling with horror—"What if she’s assaulted and killed out there?"
Bruce turned his head, his face contorted with a pain he could not express. That possibility had crossed his mind fleetingly, but it had been too unbearable to hold onto. Now, hearing those words from his son tore him apart.
"Damian…" Bruce whispered, his voice cracking. His sturdy body, always a fortress, now seemed to sway under the weight of those words.
Jason, who had remained silent until then, felt something break inside him. The idea that Y/n could be suffering, lost and alone, drove him mad. He jumped up, his fury overflowing, and stepped toward Damian, ready to lash out at him.
"Shut up!" Jason shouted, about to lunge at the younger one. "Don’t talk about her like that! Speak about her like that again, and I swear I’ll kill you!"
Dick and Tim held him back, gripping his arms before the situation spiraled out of control, though they too felt the same rage, the same fear.
"You can’t hit him, Jason!" Dick growled, his voice tense. "This doesn’t fix anything!"
"Oh, it absolutely does!" Jason shouted, struggling to break free from Dick and Tim’s grip, his voice loaded with a fury that burned from deep within. "When I disfigure his face, he’ll learn not to mess with my sister!"
"Now she’s our sister?"
Cassandra’s voice resonated in the room, low but sharp as a knife. The phrase fell heavy in the atmosphere, as if it had uncovered a wound everyone preferred to ignore. Jason stopped abruptly, his fists still clenched, but Cass’s words pierced him like a dagger.
Cassandra, with her black hair framing her impassive face, slowly approached the center of the room, her posture serene yet filled with a deep sadness that most could not express in words. Her dark eyes were fixed on Jason, but her gaze also reached out to the others. Her pain was not explosive like Jason’s, nor contained like Bruce’s. It was a silent, devastating pain that had been part of her life for too long.
"Now she’s our sister?" Cassandra repeated, this time addressing everyone, her voice imbued with a dangerous calm. "Now, suddenly, everyone cares? Because she’s missing? Because she might tarnish the Wayne name?"
Silence fell over the room, thick, like a suffocating blanket covering each person’s guilt. No one dared to respond. They all knew Cassandra was right. They had all failed Y/n in some way, ignored her, pushed her away, or worse, made her feel like a stranger in the family she so desperately wanted to belong to.
"She was never seen," Cassandra continued, her gaze roaming over each face. "She was never considered part of this family. She was always in the shadows, always looking for how to fit in… and you didn’t let her."
Dick hung his head, feeling those words fall on him with the weight of a truth he had ignored for too long. Each of them, in their own selfishness, had taken for granted that Y/n would be fine, that she would find her place without help. But it was never like that. She was always the one left out, watching as everyone else had their roles clear while she silently struggled to be seen.
"You, Dick…" Cassandra looked at him sternly. "You always were the older brother everyone wanted, but you never treated her like a sister. How many times did you leave her out? How many times did you say she didn’t have what it took?"
The words were like daggers for Dick. Guilt suffocated him, recalling all the times he had been cold when he could have been the support she needed.
"Tim…" her voice was soft, but the words struck with precision. "You were so busy solving Gotham’s problems, but you never solved the ones in your own home. You didn’t even know if she was okay."
Tim looked away, swallowing hard. He knew she was right. He had been blind to what truly mattered. He didn’t see Y/n’s pain until it was too late.
"And Jason..." Cassandra’s eyes darkened even more. "You say she’s your sister, but you always kept her at a distance. You always thought she wouldn’t understand you, that she wasn’t like you. And now… you want to defend her? Now that she might be suffering somewhere, alone?"
Jason, who always projected an unbreakable façade, dropped his shoulders, feeling the weight of Cassandra’s accusations. His fury faded, replaced by a wave of regret he couldn’t control. Yes, he had been cruel. He knew that. He had avoided getting close to Y/n because he feared his own pain would taint her, but in the process, he had left her alone.
Finally, Cassandra stopped in front of Bruce, who was still rigid, staring at the ground. His own pain was an ocean he was about to drown in.
"Even you, Bruce..." Cassandra lowered her voice, almost a whisper. "You’re the worst. Of all of us, you were the one who should have protected her the most. You are her father. But you always treated her like a burden, like she wasn’t strong enough to stand by your side. Always in the shadow of your other children, always behind the bat."
Bruce didn’t respond. He couldn’t. Every word from Cassandra was a reminder of his failures, of how, in his attempt to save Gotham and his family, he had neglected the most important thing. He knew he had been distant with Y/n, fearful of losing her as he had lost so many others. But that fear, that distance, had only pushed her further away.
The air was heavy with guilt and sadness. They all looked at each other, confronted by a truth they couldn’t evade.
"And now," Cassandra continued, her voice breaking slightly for the first time, "do you think she doesn’t know? That she doesn’t feel everything we’ve done? Do you really believe she hasn’t realized how little she meant to us? Most likely…—Cassandra swallowed hard, her voice cracking with pain—most likely she hates us. She thinks we didn’t search for her because we wanted her back, but because we feel guilty."
Her words hung in the air, heavy as lead. No one could argue against it, for deep down, they all knew she was right.
Damian, who had remained silent, stared at the ground. Something inside him, that same fury with which he had faced Bruce moments before, broke in the face of the truth Cassandra had just pronounced. He leaned both hands on the edge of the sofa, leaning forward, breathing heavily.
"Shut up!" he whispered, almost weakly, but his voice trembled. The pride that always wrapped around him like armor had completely shattered. Cassandra watched him for a moment, but said nothing. "You’re part of this too! Even Barbara and the blonde did the same… I’m not… We’re not the only ones to blame."
Damian clenched his fists, the pain twisting him from within. He knew Cassandra was right. He knew he had failed as a brother, just like everyone else. But that pain drove him to desperation, wanting to fight against what had already been done.
No one knew what to do now. Fear was a thick shadow wrapping around them all. They knew that by going out to search for her, they might encounter the worst: her lifeless body abandoned in an alley, a broken body they had never protected.
But there was also the other possibility, the desperate hope that Y/n was still alive, trapped in some dark corner of Gotham, crying silently, terrified, waiting for the salvation that might never come.
"We’re going to find her," Barbara finally said, her voice low but firm, not looking at anyone in particular. "One way or another."
"Of course we’ll find her" Steph added from the other side of the room, her voice sounding like a promise. But her face showed the fear they all shared. "There’s no other option."
Bruce clenched his fists once more, the pain in his chest unbearable. The guilt, the fear… the rage. He hadn’t been able to protect Y/n. He had failed, once again, as he had so many other times. And this time, it wasn’t him who was in danger. It was her.
"Listen," Bruce said, his voice breaking, but filled with determination. "This won’t be like before. We won’t lose Y/n. Not again. We’re going to bring her back and repair the damage… and whoever is behind this will pay."
The silence in the room was dense, filled with unspoken emotions. They all shared the same pain, the same fear. Outside, the rain began to fall heavily, beating against the windows as if the sky itself was crying for her. But inside, there was only determination and the echo of the news anchor's last words.
"Wanted alive or dead."
They couldn’t allow the second option.
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The air in the room was dense, filled with the stench of dampness, old blood, and cheap disinfectant. All you could see was a dim blue light hanging from the ceiling, swaying slowly, casting unsettling shadows on the dirty concrete walls. The place was a tomb before the tomb. And in the midst of all this, you, suspended on a rusty metal gurney, the straps tightened like snakes around your wrists and ankles, stifling every movement.
"You know... it's funny." The man's voice was soft, almost charming, but laced with a venomous sarcasm that chilled your blood. "Everyone is looking for you right now, little bat." A twisted smile crossed his face, revealing yellowed, unkempt teeth. "They've even put a bounty on you. Isn’t that adorable? They must be so desperate to clear their names. Aww!"
The guy, a middle-aged man with dirty, messy blonde hair, leaned closer, his eyes gleaming with a controlled madness. It wasn’t the kind of madness of the Joker; no. It was more terrifying: methodical, almost clinical. He looked like a doctor, but one who had long abandoned the oath to "do no harm." His clothes were wrinkled, stained with fluids you didn’t want to identify, and his hands, though thin, were strong, too strong.
You didn’t respond. You couldn't. Fear gripped your soul, and the silent tears streaming down your cheeks did nothing to help. Every time he moved around you, you felt his shadow devouring you. He hadn’t covered your mouth or eyes. He didn’t need to. You were so helpless, so… broken already.
"But don’t worry, dear." His tone shifted back to a macabre sweetness. "In three or four months, the news about you will fade. Enough time for you and I to… get to know each other." He let out a soft laugh, so bitter it made your skin crawl. "Or to hide your body. It all depends on how you respond to the treatment."
You swallowed hard, feeling each of his words fall on you like a sentence. Treatment. What did it really mean? What was he going to do to you? The sound of a syringe filling with some viscous liquid echoed in the room.
"Look what they’ve done to you." His voice was almost melancholic now, as if he were lamenting what he saw. "Gotham has failed you. Your so-called family has failed you. Even your mother, that weak woman… she has failed you."
Tears overflowed. You didn’t want to cry, didn’t want to show weakness in front of him, but the pain was too much. It was true, you had felt abandoned, invisible, even among your own. And now, in this dark corner of hell, the man in front of you was tearing that wound into the light.
"Don’t cry, little one." He said with a softness that made you shiver. "You don’t have to be like them. You won’t be like Batman."
He raised the syringe, glimmering under the blue light before leaning toward you, his lips brushing against your cheek as he injected something into your arm. A cold kiss, a kiss that burned. Your body tensed, the icy liquid spreading beneath your skin, causing you to tremble with fear and an inexplicable pain.
"I don’t want to be like Batman." You managed to whisper, your voice broken, your words soaked in desperation. "Please… don’t make me into him."
The man let out a low laugh, as if your words were the funniest joke he had heard in years.
"Oh, dear…" His voice slid into your ears like poison. "You won’t be like your father."
Your eyes widened. Your father? The man knew. He knew everything.
"Surprised?" he mocked, leaning even closer, his lips almost brushing against yours. "I’m not stupid. I’ve worked for Bruce, for the Joker, for Two-Face… Even for that fat rat, the Penguin. I know everything there is to know about your little dysfunctional family. And now, my dear, you will be what Gotham needs."
You were breathless. Panic grew inside you like a storm. How could he know everything? How had he gotten so close to them without being detected? Your mind spun, trying to find a way out, but the straps held you tightly, immobilizing you.
"Do you know why I’m so fed up with Gotham?" The man stood up again, pacing around you like a predator stalking its prey. "Because in over 25 years, Batman has been a damn farce. Every night, he dresses up like the hero, the savior… but the city remains rotten. Crime after crime, corpse after corpse, and what has he done? Nothing. Gotham is chaos, and he is just the symbol of its failure."
Every word pierced your mind, like needles slowly sinking into your brain.
"And what about me?" he continued. "Me, with my intellect, my ability to change everything, in a rat hole like this... disgusted me." He spat the word like it was poison. "But that’s over. Gotham will be a clean city. White as snow. No crimes. No heroes who don’t deliver."
His eyes shone with a mix of madness and fervor. You could see that he truly believed what he was saying, that somehow, in his sick mind, he was saving you from something worse.
"You know? I don’t have a tragic past like the idiots who roam the streets burdened with their misery, bombing, stealing, destroying whatever they touch to justify their own pain. No. I hate them all equally. Batman, because he is the biggest lie of all.
The city idolizes him, calls him a hero, but what has changed? Twenty-five years under his shadow, and Gotham remains a well of despair, corruption, and death. He’s not a savior; he’s a symbol of failure. Every criminal that falls, two more rise. And what does he do? He continues his ridiculous crusade, beating the same demons he himself helps create. And the city applauds him, blind, stupid.
But it’s not just Batman. I hate everyone. The heroes, the villains. They all are slaves to the same mask, to their own personal tragedy, believing they can be something more, that they can be redeemed or destroyed. But they are nothing but animals, driven by their pain. The Joker with his senseless chaos, Two-Face with his rotten moral coin. All of them… lost, and Gotham, this rotten city, clings to them as if they were the answer.
But I don’t have their pain. I’m not a victim of this city. There’s no tragedy in my past to excuse me. I wasn’t left to die in a dark alley; I didn’t see my parents fall before my eyes; I didn’t suffer under the whims of some monster. My hate is purer, clearer. I hate because I see the truth they don’t see.
This city needs to be torn out by the roots, purified. Every brick, every corner, every rotten soul that breathes here. And you… you will be my masterpiece. You won’t be another tool in their hands; you won’t be another pawn on the Bat’s chessboard. You will be what Gotham has always needed: a symbol of its end. A symbol of something stronger, more definitive. Because for a city to live, it must first die. And you, dear, will be my creation. You will be the dawn of a new era in Gotham. And they… all of them… won’t be able to stop us.
Desperation flooded you like an overflowing river, sweeping everything in its path. Every fiber of your being trembled at what awaited you.
"Please… don’t do this to me." You pleaded, your voice broken and choked with tears.
But the man only smiled. An empty, hollow smile.
"Oh, dear." He whispered, bringing his face closer to yours, smelling of sweat and desperation. "You have no choice. This has already begun. And, like everything in Gotham, only the strongest survive."
"And you..." —his lips brushed against your cheek again, leaving you cold— "You will be the strongest of them all."
You sobbed, each tear falling like broken glass on your skin. The silence broke when the man placed his rough, cold index finger on your fleshy lips, stopping your whimpers with a grotesque gentleness. His eyes shone with a mix of lust and madness, and his twisted smile widened before he leaned in toward you, biting your cheek with a sickly delicacy, as if he were a lover instead of your executioner.
His heavy, hot breath mingled with the stench of the place, invading your space, making every second by his side feel like an eternity. Then, from a dusty shelf, he pulled out a Batman doll, worn and dirty, but so similar to the one you once had as a child. The same one you left behind, the same one you didn’t want to carry because you didn’t believe you needed it anymore.
"I recommend you bite it," he said, with a twisted calm that froze your blood.
"This is going to hurt."
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A/N — Well, what had to happen happened xD. Here is part two. It's very long, but I tend to write long stories because I hate losing details. It's my kryptonite. I'm very grateful for all the support you've given me, and make sure that more is coming! Kisses with love. ♡♡
Don't hesitate to ask me anything if you want.
take a bath!
Tag list! ◇ — @amber-content @toast-on-dandelioms @feral-childs-word @sweetconnoisseurgardener @victoria1676 @toasted-cat18 @nosyrobin @beeaskewwrites @yandere-enthusiast @telltaletoad @dhanyasri @vanessa-boo @m3vl0vesu @jellypotato66 @midnightgrimoire @cherryxxxxyoongi @imnotdumbimstupif @plsfckmedxddy @h0neysiba @mybones537 @erikasurfer @sheepintherain @pix-stuff
Inspiration: @acid-ixx with his Again & Again series, @gotham-daydreams' work, @i-cant-sing's work and @klemen-tine's work, be sure to check them out!
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chimcess · 2 days
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Unparalleled || jjk
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Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Other tags: Idol!Jungkook, Photographer!Reader Word Count: 6.6k+ Genre:  One-shot, established relationship, PWP, long distance relationship AU, smut Synopsis: You had only met him once, a fleeting moment in the grand scheme of things, and the fact that he was on the other side of the hotel door felt surreal. Or, after being in a long-distance relationship for over a year, you and Jungkook are finally meeting up. Warnings: This is literally just porn, there’s a plot but it’s just filth, soft-dom JK, he calls reader “baby,” oral (m&f), d*ck piercing, tatted jk, jk wears glasses (the entire time), dirty talk, desperate sex, couch sex, they barely made it inside tbh, protected sex (wrap it up babes), multiple positions, light begging, light body worship, light praise, some teasing, reader cums on his face, multiple orgasms, nipple play, nipple sucking, some nipple biting, hair pulling, aftercare cuddling, sweet ending, let me know if I missed anything... A/N: I’m still getting used to writing smut, so I’m sorry if this is a bit awkward in some spots. Found this in my drafts, so I fixed it up a little bit and decided to post it. Thanks for reading.
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Staring down at my fidgeting hands, I felt like the taxi was closing in on me, every tick of the clock amplifying the sense of claustrophobia. Twenty minutes felt like an eternity, dragging by as if time itself were taunting me. I stole another glance at my phone, re-reading Jungkook's last message like it was some sort of magic spell. 
Kookie: 324
It was surreal to think he was right here in California, just a short drive away, no oceans or time zones separating us. My leg bounced nervously beneath the table, the excitement swirling in my stomach like butterflies in a frenzy. Each moment felt charged with anticipation, a thrilling energy that made my heart race. I quickly typed out a response, adding a heart emoji before sending my location. Jungkook always said sharing my location made him feel closer to me, bridging the gap between our worlds, even with his whirlwind schedule that rarely left room for anything else. Being one of the biggest pop stars had a way of pulling a guy in a million directions.
I couldn’t help but smile as I recalled our first meeting. It was right after the lockdown ended, during his band’s visit to California for a concert and the Grammys. I still vividly remembered standing by the snack table, nervously clutching a half-empty cup of soda, when our eyes met for the first time. There was an electric spark in that moment, something I hadn’t realized I’d been missing. His grin was infectious, his playful nature shining through, and my heart had skipped a beat at the sound of his laughter. It echoed in my mind like a melody I wanted to play on repeat.
A few months later, we had entered a long-distance relationship, navigating the challenges of his demanding career while trying to keep our connection alive. Late-night video calls, flirty texts, and the occasional surprise visit were our lifelines, but nothing could compare to the rush of being together in the same room. And now, the thought of finally seeing him in person again sent a rush of warmth through me, a blend of hope and nervous energy that was hard to contain.
As I waited, I replayed our conversations in my mind—each one a thread weaving our lives together despite the distance. We shared dreams, fears, and whispered secrets, laying the groundwork for something beautiful and profound. The thought of being in his presence again, of feeling his warmth and the comfort of his touch, made my heart race with excitement.
I glanced at the clock again, biting my lip in anticipation. Each minute stretched into hours, the seconds crawling by. Would he still feel the same? Would our chemistry translate into real life as effortlessly as it did through screens and messages? Doubts flitted through my mind, but I shook them off, focusing on the joy of the moment. Jungkook was just a heartbeat away, and soon, I would be in his arms. The very idea sent a shiver down my spine.
My phone buzzed, startling me out of my thoughts. I scrambled to open the notification, my heart racing. If Jungkook messaged, I had to respond quickly. Our conversations were a race against time, a way to squeeze moments of connection into his packed schedule. Phone calls were our only reliable lifeline, but the language barrier complicated things. We were both trying, though Jungkook's English was much better than my Korean.
Kookie: 나는 신나요
Giggling, I typed back a response.
Y/N: 나도
Kookie: Good job, 자기~
Nothing made Jungkook happier than seeing me try to improve my Korean. He always insisted it was adorable, his smile brightening every time I stumbled through a phrase. Yoongi was usually the more honest one, quick to point out my mispronunciations, but Jungkook wore that supportive boyfriend badge with pride, even if it meant telling me little white lies.
As the taxi pulled up to the hotel, my heart raced with a mix of excitement and anxiety. I thanked the driver, tipping generously as I stepped out into the warm night air. The moment I did, the fragrant scent of blooming jasmine wafted around me, mingling with the distant sound of waves crashing against the shore. I had only packed a small bag for our two-night stay, not knowing how much time we’d actually have together. Remembering that, I hurried up the steps, my footsteps echoing against the marble tiles.
The Sunset Hotel was unlike anything I’d imagined. I had envisioned a quiet, almost sleepy place, but instead, it was alive with activity. I couldn’t believe it was two in the morning; the lobby was bustling, a vibrant mix of laughter, clinking glasses, and the faint notes of live music drifting from the bar area. The energy crackled in the air like electricity, and I felt an exhilarating rush. Yet, amidst the lively atmosphere, a wave of inadequacy washed over me. Just a few moments ago, in the taxi, I had almost forgotten about Jungkook’s status as one of the biggest pop stars in the world, but now, beneath the sparkling chandelier that cast shimmering patterns across the polished floor, it was impossible to ignore.
As I walked through the brightly lit lobby, I caught glimpses of elegantly dressed guests, their conversations animated, their laughter ringing out like musical notes. I felt like a fish out of water, dressed in a casual sundress while they flaunted designer attire. Who would have thought my years in the service industry—working late nights and juggling demanding customers—would lead me here, about to meet someone who could afford such luxury? The thought both thrilled and terrified me.
At the front desk, the staff shot me quick, assessing looks. Their eyes were sharp, as if measuring my worth in this lavish setting. One of the hosts greeted me with a forced smile that felt far too wide for comfort. “Welcome to the Sunset Hotel! How can I assist you tonight?” Their voice dripped with that practiced hospitality, but I could sense a subtle skepticism beneath the surface.
“Um, I’m here to check in,” I replied, my voice steady despite the fluttering in my chest. I fished my phone out of my bag, ready to show them the reservation I’d made, but the host raised an eyebrow, glancing down at the computer screen as if evaluating my very presence.
“Name?” they asked, still wearing that unnaturally bright smile.
“Y/N,” I replied, and I held my breath as they typed it in. A brief moment of silence stretched between us, the bustling lobby fading into a distant murmur as I waited for their response. 
“Ah, yes! We have you right here,” they said finally, their tone shifting to one of mild surprise. “You’re the other half of 324, correct?” They looked at me again, and I could feel the weight of their judgment, as if I were a puzzle they were trying to fit into a larger picture.
“Right,” I said, attempting to keep my tone light. “Should just be for the weekend.” 
The host’s smile remained, but the glint in their eye suggested they were piecing together the details, perhaps even recognizing my connection to Jungkook. As they handed me the key card, I felt a rush of anxiety. What if they didn’t think I belonged here? What if Jungkook didn’t feel the same way about me once we were together?
I took the key, my fingers brushing against the cool surface, and turned to head toward the elevator. I was acutely aware of the looks I was receiving, a mix of curiosity and skepticism from both staff and guests alike. The air was thick with expectations, and I could almost hear the whispers in my mind, doubting whether I was truly worthy of this moment. But I pushed those thoughts aside. This was about Jungkook and me, our connection. And soon, I would be in his presence, feeling the warmth of his smile and the excitement of our reunion. 
Taking a deep breath, I stepped into the elevator, the doors closing behind me like a protective barrier from the outside world. As the car ascended, I clutched my bag, heart racing with every passing floor. This was it. In just a few moments, I would be face-to-face with the boy who had ignited something within me, and no amount of uncertainty could overshadow that truth.
I shifted from foot to foot in the cramped elevator, the anticipation eating away at me like a swarm of butterflies taking flight in my stomach. Each second felt like an eternity, stretching my nerves thinner and thinner. I took out my phone, biting back a smile as I contemplated the moment. It was so surreal that I was just a few moments away from seeing Jungkook again after what felt like an eternity apart.
In a burst of excitement, I snapped a quick picture of the elevator doors opening, the sleek metallic finish reflecting the soft glow of the lobby lights. I sent it to Jungkook with a playful caption: *“Almost there!”* Watching the little blue ticks appear, I felt a rush of warmth, knowing he’d see it almost instantly.
Once inside the elevator, I pressed the button for the third floor with a mix of hope and trepidation. It only made sense that the 300s would be located on the third floor, right? Still, the absence of any signs directing me left me feeling a bit disoriented. The elevator hummed softly, its gentle movement barely easing the whirlwind of thoughts racing through my mind.
The walls felt a bit too close, almost as if they were closing in on me, but I took a deep breath, willing myself to relax. I replayed the memories of our conversations, the laughter we shared, and the longing I felt every time we parted. The excitement pulsing through me was intoxicating, a vivid contrast to the anxious tension coiling in my chest.
Suddenly, my phone buzzed in my hand, jolting me out of my reverie. I glanced down, my heart skipping a beat as I saw Jungkook's name flashing on the screen. 
Kookie: I’m going to kiss you so much.
I couldn’t help but smile. I hoped kissing would be just the beginning of what would happen tonight. After a year of building up tension, I didn’t want to wait anymore. I wanted him.
Y/N: 또?
Kookie: I can’t think of it in English.
Rolling my eyes, I groaned. That was his way of avoiding a question. I knew he understood, but it amused me more than anything. Slowly, my nerves eased, and I felt more confident about seeing him, even if we were hiding away in a hotel I could never afford, lying on expensive sheets while the world outside spun with sharp eyes and curious gazes.
As the elevator dinged softly, signaling my arrival at the third floor, I felt a surge of adrenaline. The doors slid open smoothly, revealing a dimly lit hallway lined with plush carpeting and framed art pieces that whispered of elegance. Taking a deep breath, I stepped out, the plush carpet muffling my footsteps as I moved forward. The anticipation hung in the air like a charged atmosphere before a storm, and I could almost feel Jungkook’s presence drawing me closer.
I glanced at the room numbers, scanning for his. As I walked, I imagined what it would be like to finally be face-to-face with him. Would he look the same? Would that boyish grin still light up his face when he saw me? The thought sent my heart racing as I turned a corner, catching sight of the numbers I had been searching for. 
Room 324. My breath caught in my throat, and for a fleeting moment, I hesitated, overwhelmed by a wave of nerves. What if things were different now? What if he had changed? But I quickly shook off the doubts; this was Jungkook, the boy I had laughed and shared secrets with, the one who had kept my heart fluttering even from a distance.
With a firm resolve, I approached the door, my heart pounding in rhythm with my steps. I held my breath, the moment stretching out like a taut string ready to snap. Would he answer? Would he be excited to see me? I could hardly contain the anticipation, my heart racing as I waited for that door to swing open. The air crackled with anticipation, buzzing with the weight of what was about to happen. 
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I raised my hand to knock, but before my knuckles could even touch the wood, the door swung open. And there he was—Jungkook.
He was everything I remembered: pitch-black hair tousled in a way that was both effortless and enticing, metal glinting in the light, thin, silver rimmed glasses, and a thin white t-shirt clinging to his muscular frame. It felt surreal, like stepping into a vivid dream, but this was no illusion. This was real, and it took my breath away.
"You," I whispered, the word slipping out like a gasp. 
His dark eyes widened in surprise, delight flickering across his features. My heart raced as I watched him take me in, his expression shifting from uncertainty to something deeper, more intimate. Had he been waiting for this moment as much as I had? Was he just as happy as I felt?
All my doubts faded when that eyebrow, heavy with steel, raised in appreciation instead of scorn. He stepped into the hallway, and my heart pounded wildly, the space between us charged with an unspoken promise.
"You," he echoed, his voice low and husky as he took my hand in his, guiding me back into his room. 
He kicked the door shut behind him. The air thickened as he moved closer, inches separating us, electric and intoxicating. I inhaled the scent of him—soap and laundry detergent—sending shivers down my spine. A soft whimper escaped my lips, desire pooling in my stomach like a spark waiting to ignite.
With an air of confidence, he advanced, and I leaned back, the weight of his presence drawing me in like gravity. I stopped when my back hit the couch, the world outside fading away as we paused, our breaths mingling in the charged silence. My fingers, betraying me, reached up to trace the row of piercings in his eyebrow, trailing down the line of his jaw to his lips. They were soft and rosy, a striking contrast to the rough stubble that scratched my palm.
In that moment, he darted his tongue out, the pointed tip brushing against my fingers, and I moaned softly, the sound echoing in the intimate space between us, igniting the fire that had been simmering beneath the surface.
And then he was on me.
He seized my hand, guiding it into the tousled mess of hair I had longed to touch. It was softer than I had imagined, and I lost myself in it. His mouth descended on mine, a fiery torrent of passion and urgency. My body responded instinctively, arching into him as our breaths mingled, his desire palpable against my stomach, the taste of longing lingering on his lips.
His palm traced a path down my arm, firm and possessive, sliding over my shoulder and back again. He tugged at the buttons of my cardigan, peeling the fabric away to reveal the inked skin beneath. I shivered at the roughness of his touch, a thrilling contrast to the softness of his kiss.
Breaking away, I pressed my mouth against the line of his jaw, trailing wet kisses toward the piercings in his ear, letting my tongue tease them as my breath washed hot against his skin.
“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you?” He whispered against my lips.
I panted, my fingers tangling tightly in his hair.
His hands tightened around my arms, pulling us together, the weight of our bodies colliding in a desperate embrace. “Every single day,” he swore, his voice rough yet melodic. He began a slow, deliberate exploration of my neck, the heat of his tongue tracing my pulse and making me shudder. “Every night that you called me, whispering sweet nothings in that voice. It drove me insane. I just wanted to hop on a plane and have you in my lap.”
“God, I wish you would have,” I gasped, feeling the bite of his teeth just below my collarbone, a thrilling blend of pain and pleasure that made me clench around nothing. “Why didn’t you?”
“You make me nervous,” he murmured, teasing aside the cup of my bra.
He took my nipple into his mouth, his tongue flicking against the bud with reverence. I whined in pleasure, arching into him. Emboldened, he bit down.
“Self-conscious, huh?” I teased, winded and shaking from pleasure, even as my nails dug into his back, urging him closer. “I have a hard time believing that right now.”
He pulled back, capturing my face in his strong hands, kissing me fiercely as a low growl escaped him. “Believe it.”
We kissed with a fierce intensity that made me feel like I was on fire, the heat radiating off him, his glasses pressing against my face. He shifted to remove them, but I caught his wrists, holding him in place.
“Don’t,” I growled. “I like them.”
A primal sound erupted from his chest, desperate and raw. He lifted me effortlessly, settling me against the back of the couch, our bodies grinding together, my thighs aligning perfectly with the hard heat of his jeans. Each thrust sent a new wave of pleasure surging through me, my head falling back as I teetered on the brink of ecstasy, feeling weightless and electric, consumed by a desire that felt like it could set us both ablaze.
But he caught me. Just as I was about to tumble backward into dizzying, white-hot pleasure, his arms wrapped around me, firm and unyielding, pulling me against the solid expanse of his chest. My breath came in quick, frantic gasps, my heart racing like a wild animal as I clung to him, my legs instinctively wrapping around his waist, drawing him closer.
“Careful, pretty girl,” he breathed into my ear, a soft murmur that sent shivers racing down my spine. I grasped at his back, fingers digging into the taut muscles, anchoring myself to him, afraid of being swept away in the tide of desire threatening to pull me under.
My hands roamed from his back, gliding over his shoulders and down his arms as he stroked his fingertips along my thighs, mapping a path from my knees to my hips and back again. His skin was warm, electric under my touch, and I traced the intricate black curls of ink adorning his pale flesh—an abstract tapestry resolving into a lion on one arm and a lamb on the other.
“You’re beautiful,” I gasped, the words spilling out before I could stop them, but he silenced me with another heated kiss. 
My fingers fumbled at the hem of his t-shirt, desperate to see what those curls of ink transformed into beneath the fabric. He shifted me closer, his grip on me unwavering, even as his hands momentarily released me to lift his arms above his head. Seizing the opportunity, I tugged at his shirt, peeling it away to reveal the canvas of his torso, the intricate lines of ink telling stories I longed to hear.
I barely had time to take in the intricate Sanskrit lines etched along his side and the lone kanji character hovering over his heart before he was lifting my shirt, pulling it over my head. For a heartbeat, I was enveloped in darkness, blinded by the fabric. My hands scrambled behind me, fumbling to unclasp my bra, and he kissed a heated trail along the bare skin of my shoulder as the straps slipped down my arms.
“I love this,” he murmured against my skin, his lips trailing softly across my collarbone, down my ribs, and back to my breast, igniting every nerve in my body. “And I love it all the more because of this.”
His tongue brushed over the small butterfly tattoo on my ribcage.
His fingers roamed lower, and when he pulled away, I let out a whimper of protest, longing for his touch. The light-headed sensation returned, reminding me just how long it had been since a man had touched me—since I’d felt filled.
I braced myself with one hand against the edge of the couch while the other tangled in his tousled hair, relishing its softness as it slipped through my fingers. His mouth found my stomach, his tongue dipping into my navel, tracing a tantalizing line toward my most sensitive spot. I gasped, an overwhelming hunger igniting deep within me. I had been yearning for this, for him, and the desperate need flooded my senses.
With deft fingers, he teased apart the button of my fly and drew down the zipper, revealing delicate black lace beneath. He licked and sucked his way to my hip, his hand lingering on my abdomen, thumb skirting under the edge of my underwear before descending lower, finally finding bare, glistening skin. When his fingers grazed my clit, pleasure surged through me, and I nearly cried out at its raw intensity.
“Fuck, baby, you’re dripping,” he cursed, his voice rough with desire as he buried his face against the joint of my hip and thigh.
“For you,” I groaned, my body arching instinctively. “I’ve been wet for months just thinking about you.”
A low growl escaped him, and in a blur of motion, he tore the hem of my jeans down, ripping them from my body until I was left in nothing but my panties. He pushed my naked thighs up and over his shoulders, positioning his head exactly where I craved him to be.
I struggled to contain my frantic breaths, fast and shallow, echoing my absolute need to feel his hands, his mouth, to be consumed by him entirely. He inhaled deeply, reverently, his nose brushing against the lace where my body met my thigh. The sensation sent shockwaves through me, rendering me breathless.
He wrapped one hand around my leg while the other snaked behind me, gripping my ass firmly, anchoring me as he pulled the soaked fabric aside, exposing my bare skin to his hungry gaze. His thumb descended onto my clit, and I gasped, waves of need crashing over me as pleasure radiated from his touch. I cried out, the sound escaping me like a prayer, my body arching toward him, desperate for more.
And then he kissed me, his mouth capturing my clit with an intensity that sent me spiraling.
The moans clawing their way from my chest were unrecognizable, a desperate symphony of need as I became a writhing mass of pure, unadulterated hunger. Unlatching himself, his thumb worked expertly at my clit, sending jolts of pleasure coursing through me. His tongue darted out, teasing the edges of my entrance before plunging inside, and I felt the pressure building, the storm that had been gathering finally reaching its peak until I exploded, my thighs clenching around his face as my body ignited into a searing inferno.
I teetered on the edge of ecstasy, and then I actually fell over, the world spiraling away.
When I regained awareness, I was sprawled across the back of the couch, my neck twisted awkwardly, the top of my head grazing the seat cushion. My arms draped limply above me while my thighs remained anchored to his shoulders. He gazed down at me, a mixture of curiosity and satisfaction etched across his face, his mouth glistening—a testament to our fervor.
With a wicked smirk, he wiped his mouth with his forearm, leaving me in my awkward state as he peeled my panties down my body, rendering me completely exposed and unable to rise. His finger glided along my opening, my body still thrumming with aftershocks from one of the most intense orgasms I’d ever experienced. When he dipped gently inside, I gasped.
“Is this what you want, Y/N? My hands inside you?” 
I found myself ensnared in a whirlwind of emotions; I craved this intimacy with him more than anything, yet it felt like just a fragment of the whole picture. The sensation of his fingers deep within me was intoxicating, but beneath that, there lingered a yearning for more—more than just his hands. I ached for him—his body hovering over mine, the heat radiating from him as I traced the ink etched across his skin, my tongue teasing the silver piercings that adorned him.
“Yes. No. God, I want you,” I gasped, my voice a mixture of longing and desperation.
He raised a pierced eyebrow, still kneeling before me, his fingers buried deep inside me. “Want your cock.”
“You want this dick?” he asked, his tone both teasing and serious.
“Yes,” I panted, the word slipping out as both a plea and a command.
“Where?” 
I knew exactly where I wanted him; the desire burned brightly within me. “Everywhere. My hand. My mouth. My pussy. Just… everywhere.” 
A low growl escaped him, reverberating through my body, raw and hungry. But just as quickly, his fingers slipped away, leaving me aching and empty. He gripped my hips, securing me against him and the back of the couch, rising to slide my slick core against the hard line of his body. The urgency of his arousal pressed against me, igniting a fire within. 
He leaned down, gathering me into his arms, kissing me with such fervor that I felt dizzy, his hardness grinding against me—a promise of what was to come.
I pushed him away gently, his expression shifting to one of confusion, but all I needed was a moment to slide off the couch and drop to my knees. He groaned as I ran my nose along the thick outline of him through his jeans, feeling him twitch in response to my teasing. With trembling hands, I tugged his pants and boxers down, revealing him—long, thick, and glistening with anticipation.
The chrome piercing at the tip caught the light, gleaming enticingly. 
Looking up, I found him hovering above me, his body bared save for those damn glasses. His intense gaze locked onto mine, a silent plea reflected in his brown eyes. “Y/N,” I breathed, letting my warm breath wash over the tip of him. He groaned, his fingers tangling in my hair, urging me forward.
“God, I want to feel your mouth on me,” he implored, igniting a wild hunger within me. 
I opened my mouth, eager and wet, my lips closing around the head of him, my tongue tracing the underside, the cool metal against warm flesh sending shivers down my spine. 
“Y/N.”
I pulled away before I could take him too deep, trailing my mouth down his length, savoring every moment as I buried my nose into the soft hair at the base of him. He was practically whimpering, and I couldn’t resist the urge to pump him twice with my hand, the slickness gliding over him before I took him into my mouth, relaxing my throat to envelop him. Yet even with all my efforts, I couldn’t fit him completely, and I rubbed my thighs together, craving the moment he would finally fill me.
I moved my mouth up and down his length, achingly slow, feeling the tension coiling within him, his hips twitching, restrained. He wanted to thrust, to take control, but I held him back, guiding his movements while keeping him still. I could sense his legs trembling, teetering on the edge, so I pulled off, leaving him panting, his length throbbing, a testament to our shared desire.
Kissing the sharp bone of his hip, I pulled his pants the rest of the way down as he kicked off his shoes, the fabric sliding away like a whisper in the night. Just as I was about to toss the jeans aside, he stopped me, his voice low and husky. “Back pocket.”
Curiosity piqued, I glanced up at him through narrowed eyes and retrieved the little foil package from his back pocket. I noticed at least two more tucked away, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he had remarkable recovery time or if he was planning a very long weekend with me. Both notions sent a thrilling rush coursing through me
I held the condom up between two of my fingers. Jungkook snatched the package from me, tearing it open with a deft motion, rolling it over his cock from tip to base. He pressed his sheathed length against my hip, our bodies brushing together with a desperation that left me breathless.
“Turn,” he commanded, gently pushing at my shoulder. I obeyed, and his hands shoved me down, bending me from the waist, positioning my elbows on the back of the couch. When he was satisfied with my submission, he settled his hands firmly on my shoulder blades, a searing presence that felt as though it might melt through my skin, branding me with his touch.
His hands glided down my sides, over my ribs and hips, finally settling on my ass, rubbing it appreciatively. The edges of his fingers grazed my lips, parting them, and I jerked backward, feeling the heat of his cock resting against my back.
“Wider, baby,” he cooed, his fingers sliding over my trembling thighs. I closed my eyes, overwhelmed by the rush of sensation, and obeyed, spreading my legs for him. His knees bent between mine, the tip of his cock gliding tantalizingly from my clit to my entrance, brushing against me but not penetrating.
“Please, Jungkook,” I panted, desperation clawing at my throat as I felt myself teetering on the edge of begging.
Even he found himself pleading. “Please let me inside you,” he whispered, his length teasingly tracing my wet flesh, dipping slightly to part my lips but not filling the aching void within me.
“Yes,” I groaned, finally feeling the head of his cock pressing against my entrance, slipping into me inch by glorious inch. Nothing had ever felt this intense. “Fuck, yes,” I moaned, his grip hot and possessive at my hip while the other hand cradled the back of my neck, steadying me.
It was maddening not being able to move, even though all I wanted was to rock back and pull him deeper. 
My body stretched as he pushed forward, achingly slow until he was fully seated within me, his hips flush against my backside. I gasped as he filled me completely. The sensation was electrifying, and I felt him rock back slightly before surging forward again, the combination of his length and the hot tip of metal against my walls making my eyes roll.
“Please,” I urged, my mantra of ‘yes’ and ‘fuck me’ spiraling from my lips as he finally began to thrust with abandon, our bodies locked in a passionate dance. 
He tightened his grip on my hip, the other hand sliding to the middle of my back, pushing down. I could feel his movements becoming erratic, less steady—so close to coming inside me.
But I didn’t want it to end like this. Not after all this time. 
“No, stop,” I breathed, the words barely escaping my lips before he froze, a pained sound erupting from him like a wounded animal.
“Please, Jesus, Y/N, you can’t—”
I glanced over my shoulder at him, squeezing him tightly inside me. The resulting moan from his throat sent a jolt of electricity through my body. The rejection and frustration etched across his face twisted my heart. “After all this time missing you,” I whispered, locking eyes with him, “I need to see you. I need to see you come.”
In an instant, he withdrew, turning my body roughly until I felt the couch pressing against me once more. Supporting my back with one hand, he parted my thighs with fierce urgency, stepping into them and plunging back inside me. I screamed, the sound echoing through the empty corners of the room.
His face was close to mine as he began to move again, quick, short thrusts finding a new rhythm. Our sweaty brows collided, the metal hoops of his piercings scratching my skin, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. His name spilled from my lips as we captured each other in another fiery kiss, a moment so intense I thought I could lose myself entirely in the swirl of our bodies, his ink swirling around us like dark tendrils of smoke.
His patience began to fray as he kissed me harder, his body pressing into mine with more urgency. I felt the fiery bloom of pleasure building again, hot and electric, and I craved him hard and fast—a deep connection stripped of all restraint.
He must have sensed my need, too, as he quickened his pace. “Hold on, baby,” he instructed, and I complied, wrapping my arms and legs around him tightly. I let him brace himself against the back of the couch as he drove into me, his pubic bone hitting my clit with each thrust, the metal piercing hitting deep within me making me mewl.
“I’m coming, Y/N. Fuck,” he moans, the raw desperation in his voice igniting something primal within me. 
His face contorts in a beautiful, twisted expression of pleasure, each thrust deeper, harder, as if he’s trying to etch this moment into my very soul. The intensity of his words washes over me like a tidal wave, pulling me into a realm of oblivion. My body pulses in rhythm with his, a white-hot light flashing behind my closed eyes, merging with the vision of him—so fully present in my arms, lost in the sheer ecstasy we’ve created together.
As the world around us faded, time seemed to suspend, leaving only the two of us in a cocoon of warmth and intimacy. I could feel the weight of our shared moments pressing against us, every sensation amplified in the silence that enveloped the room. Slowly, we began to come back to ourselves, his body still pressed against mine, a gentle reminder of the electrifying connection we had just shared. The feeling of him lingering inside me sent shivers down my spine, and our breaths intertwined in a rhythm that was both calming and exhilarating.
We exchanged soft kisses, each one delicate and filled with unspoken promises, contrasting the raw passion that had ignited between us moments before. It was a tender kind of intimacy, one that held the power to ground us in a whirlwind of emotions. 
After a moment, he pulled away, slipping out of me with a reluctance that made my heart ache just a little. The sudden emptiness was palpable, a gentle reminder of the closeness we had just experienced. Jungkook reached for the condom, his movements careful and deliberate, disposing of it in the wastebasket beside the couch. When he turned back to me, the soft glow of the room caught the contours of his face, illuminating him in a way that made him look almost ethereal.
“You’re really here,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, as if speaking too loudly might shatter the magic of the moment.
“I’m here,” I replied, unable to suppress the grin that broke across my face. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, and this moment felt surreal.
Jungkook walked back over to the couch, his gaze roaming over my features as if he were trying to memorize every detail. “You look even better than I remembered,” he said, his smile soft and genuine, lighting up his eyes.
“And you look exhausted,” I teased, noticing the faint shadows under his eyes that spoke of sleepless nights and busy days.
He laughed, the sound brightening the room and melting away any remnants of anxiety I had carried with me. “It’s been a crazy week, but seeing you makes it all worth it.”
A smile broke across my face, the tension of the past months finally beginning to dissolve. For the first time since I had arrived, I took in my surroundings. The room felt both elegant and cozy, drenched in soft light, with tasteful decor that radiated warmth. A large bed dominated the space, its crisp white sheets looking impossibly inviting, and I found myself wishing we could make our way over there. It seemed far more comfortable than the couch.
“How was your flight?” Jungkook asked, bending down to plant a gentle kiss on my forehead, sending warmth flooding through me.
“Long,” I admitted. “But I couldn’t sleep. I was too excited.” The truth was, anticipation had been buzzing in my veins like electricity ever since I’d set foot on the plane.
He settled next to me on the couch, his hand finding mine, our fingers intertwining in a way that felt instinctive. “I’ve missed you so much,” he said, his thumb tracing small patterns on my skin, making my heart flutter in response.
“I’ve missed you too,” I replied, squeezing his hand tightly. “It feels like forever.”
We fell into a comfortable silence for a moment, the city lights twinkling outside like a constellation trapped within a glass jar. The reality of being here with him began to sink in, settling deep in my bones. No more video calls with choppy connections or hurried texts exchanged amid the chaos of our lives—just us, flesh and blood, finally in the same place.
Breaking the quiet, Jungkook’s tone turned serious, slicing through the warmth that enveloped us. “How are you holding up? I know it’s been tough.”
I took a deep breath, weighing my response. “It’s been hard,” I admitted, the truth heavy on my tongue. “But knowing we’d have this, even just a couple of days, kept me going.” 
He nodded, understanding etched on his face. “It’s the same for me. The craziness of the tour and the constant traveling—it’s all worth it knowing I get to see you.”
His words wrapped around me like a warm blanket on a cold night, soothing my weary soul. We talked for hours, drifting through a sea of conversation that felt both substantial and light, catching up on everything and nothing. His stories from the tour spilled out with infectious excitement, his eyes alight like fireflies in the dark. I shared my own experiences, and with every word, the distance between us began to melt away until it felt like the space of a single breath.
Eventually, exhaustion crept in like a gentle shadow, heavy yet comforting. Jungkook stood up and held out his hand, a playful glimmer in his eyes. “Come on,” he said, a teasing lilt in his voice. “Let’s move to the bed. It’s way more comfortable.”
I took his hand, allowing him to guide me across the room. The large bed loomed before us, inviting and cozy, the crisp white sheets beckoning like a sanctuary. As we settled into the plush comfort, I felt a wave of contentment wash over me, a feeling that we were finally exactly where we were meant to be. We lay side by side, fingers intertwined like threads in a tapestry, the world outside fading into a dull hum, the city’s chaos a distant memory.
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© chimcess, 2024. Do not copy or repost without permission.
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nerdy-novelist017 · 2 days
Text
Soaked (Benny Cross x Shy!Reader Reader pt 8)
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Hello, my lovelies! Sorry this took forever to write and post but I’ve been very busy with real life (ew) and I’m actually posting this while I’m on vacation. I wrote it on the plane and am posting in the car so please be kind if you see any mistakes hehe 😉
Benny x Bunny Masterlist
Word Count- 4.7k+
Summary- Benny’s never wanted anything as much as he wants to marry you, but with such different lives, you’re not so sure it will be as easy as he claims.
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You felt the wind surge around you as Benny accelerated down the main road, his motorcycle roaring beneath you both. The world blurred past in a whirlwind of colors, but all you could focus on was the way your heart lifted, how a thrill of excitement shot through you as you zoomed past the rest of the gang. He did it just because he knew it’d make you giggle. And you did, the sound escaping you in a way that felt so carefree, so full of joy especially as you shot past Johnny and the others, leaving them in your dirt.
The wind was relentless, blowing your hair out of its carefully manicured braid, but you didn’t find yourself caring much anymore. The days spent with Benny had a way of shifting everything you thought had mattered. The things that once held so much weight – social status, gossip, public appearances – no longer seemed as important anymore. With Benny, it was almost like discovering a whole new world. No, not a new world. The same streets passed beneath the tires, the same faces you once worried about still existed. The world was still the same, but it was how he viewed it that felt so different. He didn’t care what others thought about him, didn’t pay attention to their expectations. He lived in his own world, surrounded by others like him that didn’t conform to the societal molds – people that you wouldn’t have even approached just based on their appearance. You never considered yourself a very judgemental person, but because of Benny, you have met and befriended people you could have never imagined.
That’s one of the things you loved about Benny. He wasn’t like anyone you had ever met before. He was different. And you were beginning to love that too.
He pulled off the main road, stopping in his signature spot in front of the club house. The roar of the rest of the gang pulling up sounded in the distance as Benny helped you off the bike. He held his grip on your hand, lacing his own fingers through yours as he pulled you gently into the bar. You followed him inside where the Vandals’ laughter and chatter soon filled the air. A familiar buzz of camaraderie enveloped the place, and before long, you found yourself seated around the table with a few of the core members. Benny was close – as always – with his arm draped over your shoulder.
“Hey, Bunny,” Cockroach’s voice cut through the sea of noise as he leaned forward and used his beer bottle to point at you. “When are you finally gonna say yes to our boy Benny, here?”
You stiffened slightly, the weight of the question hanging in the air and drawing the attention of the others at the table.
“Oh yeah,” Corky piped up, one eyebrow playfully cocked in a challenge. “He’s been asking, what, 100 times now? What’s the holdup? He’s not getting any younger, ya know?”
Heat filled your face at their teasing. Though Corky’s words were a bit of an exaggeration, they weren’t technically wrong. Since your kiss behind the clubhouse, Benny has asked you to marry him almost every day, sometimes more than once in a day. It had started by him mentioning married life in casual conversation, and you jokingly pointed out that he hadn’t actually proposed to begin with – not traditionally. And you were shocked to see him abandon everything he was doing in the moment to ask you to marry him. You giggled and rolled your eyes at his dramatics, but something deeper inside you caused your heart to flutter nervously. Since then, he’s asked several times, some in passing, a casual remark slipped into the conversation. Other times, he’d pause what he was doing, drop to one knee and grin up at you as if he were waiting for you to give in. But each time you’d laugh it off, brush it aside as him being unserious.
“Maybe I’m just waiting for the right moment?” you replied as you timidly played with the chain of your necklace, trying to deflect the attention.
“The right moment?” Cockroach parroted in disbelief. “He’s been proposin’ left and right for a week. Hell, I’d have said yes after the first time if it were me!”
The group laughed, and you tensed under Benny’s arm, wanting to melt into the floor from embarrassment. Benny squeezed your hand reassuringly, and he leaned, his voice dropping to a low murmur that was only meant for you, “They don’t mean nothin’ by that, you know that.”
You nodded, not trusting your own voice. He was right, you knew that. They didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, but the constant razzing – especially with this particular subject – was start to weigh on you.
“Yeah, c’mon, Bunny,” Cal chimed in from across the way, “What’s it gonna take? Benny’s a catch! He’s got the bike, the looks, the . . . mommy’s issues. If you don’t say yes soon, you might lose your chance.”
That playful jab was too much for Benny who stiffened next to you. You expected him to get angry, to blow up like you had seen your father do when he was upset. But instead, Benny leaned forward, eyes narrowing with a playful glint that you had come to adore. The table was buzzing with laughter, but he wasn’t about to let the spotlight stay on you for too long. Without missing a beat, he flashed a grin at Corky, his hand raised as he said, “Alright, alright. But let’s not pretend you all ain’t desperate for a distraction since none of you can keep a bike upright without fallin’ on your asses.”
The table roared with laughter and Corky’s mouth fell open in mock offense. “That was one time! And I had an oil slick!”
Johnny immediately jumped in, “Yeah Corky, an oil slick you created when your bike was leakin’ everywhere.”
Laughter erupted again and you shot Benny a grateful look as the guys started ribbing Corky about his infamous fall. Benny’s eyes met yours briefly, his thumb brushing your hand under the table in a silent message: I’ve got you. Most of the group knew you were shy and did not appreciate being the center of attention in a crowd, and they respected that. However, there were a few class clowns (as Benny called them) who loved to tease you, knowing it could get a reaction without fail. But Benny never let it go on for long, always shutting them down when he recognized your discomfort.
They’ve never teased you about marriage though. You had to wonder if Benny had voiced his irritation to them at some point or if they had picked up on your hesitation organically. Either way, it left you feeling bad. Excusing yourself, you wiggled out of Benny’s grasp as you stood and made your way for the restroom, needing a moment to breathe, to clear your head. But just as you reached the back of the bar, a voice stopped you.
“You ain’t gotta worry about what they say to you,” Funny Sonny stood leaning casually against the bar top as he sipped a glass of whiskey. “That just means they like you, accept you.”
You paused, glancing over your shoulder at the table of rowdy bikers. “I’m just not . . . used to it. All the teasin’.”
Sonny nodded, his disheveled hair falling into his eyes as he grinned. “You’ll get used to it. Won’t be long till you’re the one throwing out the first jabs.”
He said it so nonchalantly, as if it were the most obvious course of action, as if you weren’t from completely different worlds. You furrowed your brows, eyes casting downwards as you admitted, “I’m not so sure about that. I’m not at all like you guys.”
“You don’t gotta be like us to be with us. We’re family here and family means lookin’ out for each other, even the ones who came from different backgrounds,” he said, his voice lowering a register to a bit more of a serious tone.
His words settled over you like a warm blanket, the concept so foreign yet so familiar. Family. You knew what that was, you had one, you were loved by one. But for some reason, it felt like it meant something different with the Vandals. They chose their family, stood by them despite no blood relation. Your parents loved you, you knew that. They showed it in their own ways every day. But by default, they had to love you. With the Vandals, they chose to care for each other, chose to look out for each other. In a way, it almost seemed more powerful, more profound.
Being Benny’s girl didn’t just mean he alone had your best interest at heart. It also meant having the rest of the Vandals on your side too, all of them looking out for you. You weren’t sure if you’ve ever experienced such an intense loyalty before, even from blood relatives. And it left you with a warm feeling in your chest.
When you returned to the table, Benny was already standing as if he were waiting for you. His eyes met yours with a slight unease, almost like he thought you wouldn’t come back, like he thought you were so upset that you’d sneak out the backdoor.
“Wanna go for a night ride?” he asked, his voice soft as his hand extended out for you.
Your heart squeezed at his thoughtfulness. He knew how much you were growing to enjoy the feeling of blazing down the empty streets under a star-filled sky with him. A smile tugged at your lips, and you took his hand without hesitation, nodding.
You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips as your hand slid into his own. You were vaguely aware of the groans and exaggerated protests from the table about the night being still young, but you didn’t hesitate to follow Benny as he led you to the door. He pulled you along to his Harley, the cool and fresh air a welcome change.
The tension from earlier still lingered as Benny’s hand touched your leg, helping you onto the back of the bike. You wrapped your arms around his torso, pressing your face into his back, finding solace in the familiar scent from his jacket.
He drove you around the city, stars and stop lights shining above, engine roaring below. He eventually pulled off the main drag, heading down a quieter road that led out of town. The blacktop blurred beneath you as he slowed the speed to more of a lazy joyride. He took a familiar turn, stopping at the small pull off area before a bridge. The sound of the engine faded as he brought the bike to a stop, the air filling with crickets’ song. The night’s air was breezy, but a welcome change from the hot, loud atmosphere of the clubhouse.
Benny dismounted first, reaching out to help you down. His touch – lingering longer than necessary – against your arm felt electric, sending a jolt of butterflies to your stomach, his eyes searching your face as if he was trying to read your thoughts. The two of you walked over the concrete bridge, pausing once in the middle. You leaned over the railing, getting lost in the gentle swirl of the water below. But Benny was lost in the sight of you.
“You alright?” he asked, his voice low, the usual playful teasing replaced by something softer and reserved only for you.
With your heart beating hard at his gentle tone, you nodded. “I’m fine.”
He frowned, reaching out to brush a loose strand of hair from your face. “I know the guys can be a bit much. I don’t like when they tease you like that. I didn’t mean for them to make you uncomfortable.”
You couldn’t help but smile a bit at his words, knowing that wanting to protect you was something he took very seriously, even if it meant from his own friends, his own family.
“I know,” you responded softly, leaning your chin on your hand over the railing.
“I’ll talk to them, make sure they won’t raz you like that anymore,” he promised, his expression serious.
“It’s not that. It’s just . . . I don’t know. It’s a lot to get used to,” you admitted gently. Before Benny, you’d never even been in a bar before, never ridden a motorcycle, never stayed out past curfew. He was a completely different experience than you were accustomed to. And now he wanted you to marry, after only knowing him for a few weeks. He wanted to be your husband, your partner for life. Your life felt like a bit of a whirlwind ever since you met him, but you wanted to be certain it wasn’t just fun because it was new.
He didn’t say anything for a moment, just stood there, his eyes tracing your features, his hand resting over your own. You could practically see the gears turning in his brain, something in him conflicted. Finally, he released a soft sigh, putting an arm around your shoulders and pulling you in close. “You don’t have to answer them, you know. Hell, you don’t have to answer me. Not till you’re ready.”
Your heart skipped a beat as you breathed in his scent – leather, smoke and something uniquely Benny. “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I . . . ”
Benny pulled back slightly, his fingers tilting your chin up to meet his gaze, his thumb gently brushing your cheek. “Hey, you don’t owe anyone an explanation, not even me. You’ll say yes when you’re ready. And when that time comes, I’ll be here. I ain’t goin’ anywhere.”
A smirk tugged at the corner of your lips as it was your turn to kid. “How do you know I’ll say yes?”
Benny’s smile was gentle but still roguishly confident. His hand lingered on your cheek, his fingers tracing down the curve of your jaw as if he were mapping every detail of you. “I just know. When you feel it – when it’s real – you just know.”
He said it so simply as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, as if love were the most uncomplicated concept. You didn’t understand that, couldn’t see it that way. You’d seen the love your parents shared and that was beautiful and kind but it was also messy and cruel more often than not. And you understood that your parents were not the only representation of what love and marriage was supposed to be, but it was a constant presence in your life. They didn’t have perfect love, not like what you’d see in the movies or read in books. And you wondered if maybe you were giving too high of expectations for what love was supposed to be, but what you felt when you were around Benny . . . well, it felt exactly like the books described.
The way he looked at you, as if you were the most important thing in the world, made you feel so seen. The way he listened to you as if you were the most entertaining show, made you feel so heard. And the truth was undeniable: you were falling for Benny faster than you thought possible. It was terrifying. Benny was all fire and freedom, a rebel who didn’t play by the rules, who followed his own path with reckless abandon. And you admired that about him, but the thought of stepping into his world permanently felt like stepping off a ledge into the unknown.
“What’s goin’ on in that head of yours?” he asked, pulling you back into the present.
You pulled back slightly, biting your lip in contemplation before speaking your mind, “Don’t you wonder if there are other girls out there that you haven’t even met yet? Girls who are more suited for you?”
He shook his head, his voice light as he said, “Nah, I know you’re the only one for me, kid.”
“But marriage is serious. It’s forever.”
His hand slid down to your hip, turning you to face him fully, his expression solemn. “I never . . . I never thought marriage was real. The way I saw my mom and old man together . . . what they had wasn’t love. And I realized that at an early age. I didn’t think it was something that was real, just a bunch of fairytale bullshit you tell little kids. The girls I’ve been with, girls that may have been more suited for me, have never made me feel what I feel with you, Bunny. This is serious to me too because it proves everything I’ve never believed in.”
Emotion caught in the back of your throat as you pictured the man standing before you as just a boy living in a toxic household, an unloving home. It made you want to hold him tight, to shield him from the rest of the world. The man who held you so gently, who took you for night rides just to cheer you up. The man who came to your bake sale when nobody else did. The man who promised to drive slow so as not to scare you. The man who said he’d follow you all the way to California so that you didn’t have to go by yourself. The man who taught you about his hobbies with eagerness, and listened to yours with attentiveness.
He deserved to be loved in the same way he loved. But the tragic thing was that he didn’t see that, couldn’t comprehend someone loving him like that. He was damaged by his childhood, and you realized that he didn’t think he was worthy of repair. But you’d show him that he was, that he was worthy of everything he never had.
Slowly, you lifted your hands to gently cup his face, and his breath hitched in his throat. There was a shift in his expression – his usual teasing and bravado now replaced with some raw and unguarded as though he was offering you a glimpse into a deeper part of him, one rarely ever shown to anyone.
He pressed his forehead to yours, his voice dropping to a soft murmur. “You’re not just some girl to me, Bunny. You know that, right?”
The words sent a shiver down your spine. He wasn’t playing around now, not hiding behind his usual flirty quips. His sincerity was almost overwhelming. You swallowed thickly. “But what if I mess this up? What if I’m the one who can’t do this?”
Benny’s brows furrowed and he lifted a hand to brush across your cheek, his touch gentle but grounding. “You won’t. You couldn’t, even if you tried.”
“You’re making it sound so easy,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper, as if you didn’t quite believe him.
Benny could feel your tremble, the shaky laugh betraying your nerves you were trying so hard to hide. He could sense your heart racing, and he wanted so desperately to be the one to soothe it, to take away the hesitation in your eyes. His thumb brushed over your bottom lip, the soft curve of it making his heart ache in his chest. He loved how your lips quivered just slightly under his touch. He loved making you blush, loved teasing you until you looked at him like you were annoyed or completely at his mercy. But this . . . this was different. His touch lingered on your lip, slow and almost reverent as he savored the way you responded to him. It wasn’t about teasing anymore – it was about showing you what you meant to him.
“It is,” he murmured, his voice a little rougher than he intended “It’s easy because it’s you.”
The air between you felt electric as his hand slid down the curve of your neck, his fingers lingering there, feeling the steady thrum of your heartbeat that seemed to match his own wild one. He ducked his head slightly as he whispered, “You’re scared. But you don’t need to be.”
He meant it, more than he meant anything in his life. He pulled back just enough to look into your eyes again, searching for any sign of doubt, any sign that you didn’t feel the same way he did. Your eyes – wide and uncertain – met his, and Benny felt the weight of his words over them both.
“How can you be so sure?” you asked, your soft voice almost disappearing in the night.
And how could he explain it, especially since he’s never been good at explaining his feelings? How could he put into words what was so abundantly clear to him? That you made everything – even the most outrageous things – seem possible. That with you, he didn’t feel like just some fuck-up waiting for the next diaster. With you he felt grounded, like he belonged somewhere. Like you saw him for more than just the wild, reckless kid everyone else saw.
“Because you make me sure,” he responded with a gentle, encouraging smile as his hands moved to tilt your chin upwards to him. “You make my life feel like it’s supposed to.”
His gaze moved down to your mouth once more as you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, and he simply couldn’t resist anymore. He closed the gap, brushing his lips so softly against your own. The kiss was gentle, tender, but as you responded to his touch, the need that had been simmering inside him for so long flared to life. His hands dropped down to your waist, pulling you impossibly closer, smiling into the kiss when he heard your slight gasp.
His heart pounded in his chest as the world seemed to fade away briefly until it was just you and him, just this. He never wanted to stop, never wanted to let you go.
But you did eventually pull away, the need to breathe becoming all consuming. Breathlessly, he pressed his forehead against yours, his eyes remaining closed as he focused on slowing his pulse. His hands remained on your waist, holding you like you might slip away if he let go.
“You see?” he whispered as his lips brushing against your forehead softly. “It’s easy being with you.”
You giggled and his heart soared at the melody. It took everything in him not to pull you back into another kiss, not to hold onto you like you were the only thing that kept him grounded.
His lips still tingled from the kiss, and he could taste the faint sweetness of your breath, the softness of your lips. It wasn’t enough. It never felt like enough for Benny. He wanted more of you. He’d never wanted anything like he wanted you, never craved anyone like he craved you. It was almost unbearable, like every second where he wasn’t touching you was a second wasted.
And yet, he knew you were scared. He could see it in the way you looked down at your shoes, could hear it in the timidity of your voice. It only made him want to protect you more, to make you see that being with him would never be something you had to fear. But he didn’t know how to say that without sounding like he was pushing, without making you feel like you were being rushed into a decision that was as much about you as it was him.
But damn if he didn’t want to make you his.
He opened his eyes and pulled back enough to look at you face again, to really take you in. And my god, the way you were looking up at him with those wide, innocent eyes made his chest tighten. And you didn’t even realize how much power you had over him. One look, one smile, and he was a goner.
Before either of you could speak, thunder cracked off in the distance, bringing you both back to the present, back to the rest of the world. You glanced up at the dark clouds that blew in to cover the stars, wondering how long you had stood on this bridge with Benny.
“Guess we should get back,” you said sheepishly.
“Guess so,” Benny replied with a lazy grin as though the storm could come crashing down and he’d still be perfectly content standing here with you.
“Do you think it’s going to rain?” you asked as you walked to his bike, glancing up at the thick, dark clouds blowing in from the west.
“Nah,” he said as he swung a leg over the bike with that signature confidence that made your heart race. “We’ll be fine.”
Famous last words.
******
By the time Benny pulled up to your house, rain was pouring from the sky like a waterfall, fat and heavy droplets splattering onto the sidewalk. Despite wearing Benny’s Vandals jacket, the rain had completely soaked you. Your hair, which had been meticulously pinned up just hours ago, was plastered to your face, and your dress clung to your body like a second skin.
You didn’t wait for him to shut off the bike before you hopped off and tugged on his sleeve.
“C’mon!” You laughed, tugging on Benny’s sleeve as you ran for the safety of your porch overhang. Your heels splashed through the water pooling on the blacktop, and he followed quickly behind, his warm hands finding your waist to steady you from falling as you both stumbled beneath the overhang.
Breathless and grinning like an idiot, you turned to face him, and you were momentarily stunned by the sight. Rainwater rolled down from his usually swept up hair, sliding down the curve of his cheekbones and falling off his jawline. He only wore a whote t shirt, the wet fabric turning almost transparent as it clung to every ridge, every toned muscle and you blinked before your gaze shot back up to his face. Even as wet as a drowned rat, he still managed to look so effortlessly sexy.
He was grinning at you with that boyish expression, and heat filled your face at the realization that you were just as soaked as he was but definitely not as pretty a sight. You probably looked like a mess — makeup smeared, hair ruined — but he was staring at you like you were the only thing that mattered in the world.
“Not gonna rain, huh?” you teased, quirking an eyebrow at the heavy rainfall just off your porch.
“Just a light sprinkle,” he returned easily, but you noticed he had to bite his bottom lip to keep from laughing.
“Do you wanna come in?” you blurted out before you could stop yourself. “To dry off?”
He sobered instantly, his gaze raking over your form before moving to your front door. He’d never been inside your house, never seen where you call home, where you lay down at night and replay your memories of him. There was never really an option for him to be inside your house. He’d never met your parents — despite asking multiple times to meet them, but you couldn’t bring yourself to put neither your parents nor Benny though that. Deep down, you knew your father would never approve of Benny, never give him his blessing. It was a disaster waiting to happen when he found out that you were dating a biker. You begged your mother to keep it a secret to which she obliged, but you knew it wouldn’t be long till he found out.
Benny took a full step back from you, hesitation obvious in his face, his voice low and almost regretful he said. “I—I better not, Bun.”
Normally, you wouldn’t ask again after being denied, wouldn’t be so bold. But you weren’t the same girl you were a few weeks ago before you met Benny. Emboldened by the perfect opportunity to have him inside your home, to share a piece of yourself with him, you stepped forward.
You took a step forward, your voice soft but sure. “My parents aren’t home. C’mon, just to dry off and wait till the rain lets up a little. You can’t drive in that anyway. It’s not safe and I won’t let you.”
Benny released a breath that sounded a lot like a laugh as he shook his head, clearly conflicted by your invitation. And for a moment, you thought he might shake his head and turn away. You thought he might face the rainstorm and leave you behind.
But instead, he nodded and your heart soared at the small gesture. Filled with hopeful energy, you shot him a smile, moving to open the front door and invite him inside your home, inside your world.
-Tag List-
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lionneee · 1 day
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Your sworn sword
English is not my first language, please be kind
Masterlist
Taglist
•Warnings: fingering, degradation (just a bit), 'just the tip', talking of sexual themes, piv, smut.•
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{Request: I have a request! Aemond is send across the narrow sea to be the sworn sword/knight of a (verryy beautiful) princess from a noble house is esso’s. As punishment what he did to lucerys Thanks for reading dear 💙}
To say that Prince Aemond was grumpy was an euphemism.
He was rigid, stoic, and rude.
But your father loved him.
You couldn’t understand why, not after his most recent kill: his little nephew.
You remembered meeting Luke Velaryon once, he was a nice, gentle, kind boy.
His brother Jace was just the same.
Princess Rhaenyra had been invited as a guest at your father’s name day feast with her family, and you remembered spending a nice afternoon with her sons.
You actually kept contact with her youngest child, Jace. You two sometimes sent letters to each other, talking of your days apart.
You would have never said it outloud, but you had a weakness for the boy’s dark, beautiful hair.
But he was promised to her cousin Baela.
As soon as you heard the news, you thought he would have stopped sending you letters, but he didn't, and you almost cried of joy when the next letter came.
Then, your father sided with the greens.
He sided with rude, dangerous people, and named the worst of them as your sworn sword.
When he told you about his choice you begged him, you cried, you did everything you could to try to change his mind but it was all to no avail.
Now, all the other Ladies never sat with you, they were afraid to speak with you, all because of some dark, evil, scary person standing behind you, following every step you took.
It was so obvious how much he hated being a night, yet, he stood his role perfectly.
Aemond was always there, lurking like a shadow behind you, his presence cold and heavy, suffocating your every breath. He never spoke to you unless necessary, never showed any warmth or softness in his voice. There was nothing but formality and distance, a thick wall of indifference that made your skin crawl whenever he was near.
To be fair, the only thing you thought interesting of him was his dragon Vaghar.
Your days had become a game of silence, your once carefree nature now replaced with the constant awareness of his eyes on you. You missed the days when you could write to Jace without a worry, when his words brought you comfort and a glimpse of hope. Now, the letters felt like a secret rebellion, something dangerous, but you couldn’t give them up. They were the only link to a world that still held some warmth.
You still wrote to him, though your letters had become shorter, more cautious. You dared not mention Aemond, or your isolation. Instead, you spoke of mundane things, of books you were reading, of the changing seasons. Jace’s responses, too, had shifted, though he remained kind and attentive. There was always a note of tension, a hint of restraint. You knew he was aware of the shifting tides, of your father's allegiance to the Greens.
 You happily walked in your room, smiling as you held the newest letter on your hand from Jace.
Aemond was walking right behind you, but you couldn’t care.
Jace's letter had just come.
You chuckled to yourself as you closed the door of your room behind you, leaving Aemond outside, guarding your door. 
You jogged to your desk, sitting down on the chair and breaking the sigil, opening with trembling hands the letter.
There were only a few lines written.
You furrowed your brows, confused. He usually wrote at least one page.
Dearest friend,
I assume you have heard of my family’s recent loss, my sweet brother Luke, gone by the hand of my uncle Aemond. 
It saddens me to tell you this, but due to your father’s allegiance and your newest sworn sword, I believe it is time to end our communications.
Jace Velaryon
You felt a pain in your chest.
A deep pain.
You weren’t going to receive any more letters from him. 
I believe it is time to end our communications.
You stood up from your desk, leaving the letter to hit the floor as you ran to your bed, laying face down, your arms crossed under your face as you bursted into tears.
You didn’t eat lunch, you didn’t have dinner. You didn’t want to get up from your bed.
Your maids, even one of your closest friends tried to walk past Aemond to check on you, but he was impenetrable, he wouldn’t let anyone in, not if you didn’t want them to.
His behavior left you speechless.
You knew he was loyal, you knew he was one to do his duty, but the way he stood up for you, not letting anyone in just as you asked, left you almost flattered.
The hours dragged on as you laid in your bed, the room dark and suffocating. The weight of Jace's words still lingered, pressing down on your chest. It was as though the last thread connecting you to the warmth of your past had been severed. You felt utterly alone, the castle walls seeming colder, the silence more deafening.
But outside your door, Aemond remained, steadfast and unmoving. His presence felt different now, less like the shadow you despised and more like an unavoidable part of your life. He had become a constant, whether you liked it or not, and now, oddly, that constancy brought a shred of comfort in your moment of loss.
By the time the moon rose high in the sky, you hadn’t moved from your bed, save to cry quietly into your pillow. The pain of Jace's rejection, not just of you but of the friendship you had cherished, was overwhelming. You couldn’t bring yourself to think of anything else, let alone leave your room.
A soft knock echoed through the thick wooden door. At first, you ignored it, thinking it was another maid or friend trying to check on you, Aemond would have taken care of it in a moment. But after a moment, there was another knock, firm yet measured, followed by a voice, calm, collected, and unmistakably Aemond’s.
 "You haven't eaten." He said, his tone devoid of his usual coldness, though it was still restrained. You laid still, wondering if you could pretend you hadn’t heard him. But the silence lingered too long, and it was clear he wasn’t going to leave. He was your sworn sword, after all, bound to you, whether you liked it or not.
"I’m not hungry." You muttered into your pillow, your voice muffled and thick with the remnants of tears.
There was a pause, a moment of hesitation, which was unlike him. Then, Aemond spoke again, quieter this time. "It has been hours. You should take something, if only to keep your strength."
His words were filled with disinterest despite the meaning of them. He made impossible things possible.
"I don’t want anything." You repeated, more firmly this time. 
The door opened with a loud creek, and Aemond just walked inside. You scoffed, annoyed, but you felt too sad to think about him pissing you off.
“Leave me alone!” You groaned on the mattress, clenching your hands into fists. You could hear him moving in the room.
“That puppy of my nephew is what has reduced you in this state?” He asked, scoffing. You turned your head to look at him, and you saw him looking down at a letter in his hands.
Jace’s letter.
You bolted upright on the bed, fury boiling inside you at the sight of Aemond holding Jace’s letter. His tall, imposing figure seemed even more oppressive in the dim light of your room. His one good eye flicked over the page with a mixture of disdain and cold amusement, while the sapphire in his other socket glinted in the low light.
"Give that back!" you demanded, your voice cracking from the tears and frustration, but Aemond made no move to return the letter. He dropped the letter, letting out another scoff.
“You’re a fool.” He said, his rudeness making you red to your ear.
“How dare you talk to me like that?” You exclaimed, indignited.
“He’s a bastard. You’re sweet on a bastard, the son of my whore sister. That’s foolish.”
You felt your blood boil at his words, each syllable a sharp jab to your heart. “You don’t know anything about me! You think you can judge me just because you think you're so much better than everyone else!?”
He stepped closer, towering over you, his expression a mixture of contempt and something unreadable. “I am better than everyone else. I’m surely better than that boy who has no right on the throne he wants to claim so much.”
Your anger flared, but underneath it was a deep sorrow. “He’s more than just a name or a title! Jace has been kind to me, and you—” you pointed an accusing finger at him, “you are the one who brings darkness wherever you go.”
Aemond’s eye narrowed, the air crackling with tension. “Kindness won’t save you, and neither will that bastard. This world isn’t built on sentiment. It’s built on strength and blood.”
“Strength?” you spat, incredulous. “Strength that comes from killing boys? That’s your idea of strength?”
He looked unfazed, his expression hardening. “Luke was weak. That’s why he’s dead.”
“You’re twisted.” You hissed. “It brings you pleasure, doesn’t it? Being feared, see people looking away from you –” He pushed you back before you could continue, as he started pulling off the upper structure of his armor.
You stumbled back as you looked up at him, confused and stunned, but he pushed you back again as he took off the lower part of his armor, making you fall back on your bed.
“You want to know what brings me pleasure?” He grabbed your ankle, dragging you down the bed until your butt was almost over it. He pushed the skirts of your dress up, exposing your legs.
“What do you think you’re doing?” You tried to close your legs, or pull down the skirts, but he raised your legs up, then he leaned down to grab both your thighs, spreading them apart, pressing his face against your underwear.
“This.” He mumbled against the thin clothing, his nose pressing against a funny spot against you, that made a strange sound come out of your mouth. “This brings me pleasure.” He growled as he pulled down your underwear along with the stockings. “Teaching stupid ladies their places.” He said as he dived his face back between your thighs, now his mouth pressing on that same spot, sucking and rubbing with his tongue, leaving you breathless for a moment, the pleasure was so high and so good you couldn’t speak.
You couldn’t see him, your skirts were covering the view, but you didn’t really care. Not when it felt this good. 
You didn’t think you'd ever felt this good. 
The one who was making you feel good, was a Targaryen Prince, a child murdered, the rider of the largest dragon in the world.
You could only squirm, your mind numbed by the pleasure, slowly overcoming all the alarms your brain was sending you, telling you to push the prince away, to not let him touch you in such an appropriate manner.
But then, all so suddenly it stopped, leaving you panting heavily. You saw Aemond raising his head from between your legs, coming into your field of vision.
His chin was wet, his only eye almost completely black as he looked down at you.
His hands moved on your skin, almost gently, caressing your skin as they moved up, your knees, your ankles. He wrapped his fingers around your ankles, securing your legs raised, your feet by each side of his head.
You should have stopped him.
This was improper, it was a sin. A sin you were committing with the worst man in the Seven Kingdoms.
You wanted to move, kick him back, telling him to stop touching you with his filthy, blood-stained hands, but under the dark gaze of his single eye you couldn’t move.
Aemond tightened the grip on your ankles, suddenly pulling you up so your hips lifted from the mattress. Startled, you let out a weak squeak, gripping the sheets tightly as your body moved forward, the back of your thighs landing harshly against him, your core rubbing against a protuberance on his pants, the impact sending another jolt of pleasure through your body.
“Yeah, you like it.” He hummed to himself as he dropped you back on the mattress. He leaned down, his body making space for himself between your legs as his face came to hover yours. “And you want to feel it more, don't you?” He smirked, looking down at you.
You could feel your face burning because of his words, more likely because of the truthfulness of them, because yes, you wanted to feel it again.
“No-” You mumbled as you looked up at him, directly in his eye, trying to sound firm, but he simply chuckled, grabbing your face with his hand, his fingers digging in the soft skin of your cheeks. “Such a liar. No wonder why my sweet bastard-nephew doesn’t want you.” 
That stang.
Your eyes immediately filled with tears and anger.
“How dare you?” You hissed as you tried to push him off of you, slapping his chest repeatedly, but he only smiled even more.
“There, there…” He hummed as his hand went back underneath your dress, finding you private again. No matter how much you fought, his body was keeping your legs apart, and he seemed impossible to move.
You only stopped when you felt a strange feeling, something filling you in a way you’ve never felt, that made you gasp out loud. You unconsciously let out a moan, your back arched instinctively, as your body almost contorted as he started moving his finger inside you.
“So easy to shut you up, mh?” He asked as he followed your face to be able to see every expression you made. “So easy to put into place.” He added then in a low voice.
You gritted your teeth together, trying to find in you the force to push him off, to not give him the satisfaction he was showing with that damn smile of his, but you couldn’t. The only sounds that came out of your mouth were whines or soft moans as his finger moved faster inside you, caressing everywhere inside you, and eliciting a pure bliss of pleasure.
“Jace is a fool for leaving you.” He said as he looked at you, your eyes half closed, your head leaned back, your lips apart. He didn’t even look like he realized he said that, it was like he was talking to himself and accidentally said it outloud. You turned your head to look at him, finding his eyes fixed on you, staring in appreciation. “You’re a rare beauty.” He said, his voice low and rough.
You blinked slowly, the weight of his words sinking in. A warmth spread across your chest, but you weren’t sure if it was the pleasure or the way his gaze lingered on you. 
No.
You thought to yourself.
Not him.
Please.
But the way he looked at you, like he was looking at the most beautiful thing in the world was doing something to you. It made your stomach clench, your head dizzier.
You’ve been told countless times by suitors that you were a sight to see, a beauty, but it did nothing if not make you blush or feel appreciated.
With Jace you felt your heart beat so loud you feared it could jump out of your chest.
You too were aware of your beauty, but you never thought of it as a rareness.
But now with Aemond Targaryen, the cold, mean, cruel man, who was doing unspeakable things to you, who looked at you like a Goddess, you truly felt like one.
Aemond’s gaze pierced through you, a silent intensity in his expression that made your breath catch in your throat. You wished you could deny the way his presence and actions were affecting you, wished you could ignore the way his words stirred something deep inside. But the truth was undeniable. 
As he slipped his second finger inside your thigh core, you felt it crushing on you. You didn’t know what, but for a moment, you forgot about everything, Jace, the war, Aemond’s sins, your worries, your anger and your sadness, it all vanished by the newfound feeling of ecstasy. You whined louder, making aemond clamp his other hand immediately over your mouth to muffle your sounds as he kept moving your fingers. You looked at him with wide eyes, you didn’t know what had just happened to you, but you wanted to keep feeling it, no matter what cost, you wanted to feel that good again.
He kept pumping his fingers inside you as you saw him starting to move, rub, against your thigh, some hardness pressing and caressing your skin. His brows arched slightly, his eye narrowing slightly as he pressed his hips harder against you, seeking more friction and pressure. 
You’ve never seen a man do a face close to that one.
You’ve never seen Aemond make a face like that, and it was beautiful, it was breathtaking, hypnotizing, you felt like watching him all day as he experienced his pleasure.
He didn’t miss the way you seemed affected, obviously. He looked down at you and found you staring at him, his eye darkened even more, his pupil dilating even more if possible as he clenched his jaw.
“You like this?” He looked down at you, moving his hand from your mouth to your neck, gripping it tightly, but not enough to actually cut your air off. You tilted your head back, wrapping your hands on his wrist and arm, gasping as he slipped his fingers out, passing them over your pearl just to see you squirm, his lips moving into a smirk. “No.” He said as he sat up in his haunches between your legs, forcing you to spread them to make room for his body as he started to undo his pants. “You love it.”
You tried to look down, trying to understand what he was doing but he squeezed your throat into a warning, keeping your head in place. “What are you trying to see, uh?” He growled as he pushed his pants down enough to let his cock spring free. “Such a curious menace, always getting into trouble.” He hissed as he leaned over her to look at you from above. “Always sneaking around, making my life harder.” He gritted his teeth. “Making me chase you.” He raised her skirts to your waist as he aligned his cock to your core, wet and warm, hot.
“No – “ You mumbled as you felt the tip pressing on your skin. “Y-you can’t- We’re not married-” You mumbled as you panted, shaking your head. Aemond smiled down at you, his thumb caressing the skin of her neck. 
“No one will notice.” He said firmly, pushing slightly, making his tip grace the inside your core, just slightly, enough to hear another moan from you. “Just…” He groaned as he repeated the movement, moving his hips forward as his face contorted in pleasure. “... the tip – Fuck –” He groaned as he started moving his hips, the tip of his cock was being sucked in every time by your cunt, as if it was trying to keep him inside. 
It didn’t feel bad.
She did feel like her cunt was being torn apart, but she found the pain mixed to the pleasure extremely pleasing.
It was good.
It was so good.
The pleasure was so overwhelming, so strong, so blissful.
“A-Aemond – “ You bit your lower lip as you arched your back, jerking your hips to find more pleasure as his tip kept slipping out and back in.
Aemond couldn’t tear his eyes off the sight, your core making a wet sound every time he slipped in, your walls forced open to make space for his thick cock, his red tip being welcomed in the warmness of your body, and then the sound of your weak wail every time he pulled back, only enough to be able to push back in.
“Yeah like that –” He growled as he tightened his hand around your neck, his eye still fixed on how your bodies connected, his thrusts regular, calculated and hard.
He was hanging by a thread, and he was showing a great amount of control, just by not slamming his whole long cock inside you, and making you scream in pain and pleasure.
“Grind yourself like a whore –” He snarled as he started rolling his hips faster, the wet sound growing louder along with his pace. “Fuck youre so tight – You’re squeezing me inside - ”
It didn’t bother you the way he called you, the way he spoke. If not, it only aroused you more.
You bit your lower lip harder, and no matter how low you tried to keep your noises, it became impossible as Aemond moved his free hand, using his fingers to circle your pearl, putting just the right amount of pressure. Your back arched violently as you threw your head back, your mouth open in an oval shape, grunts and moans coming out one after another as Aemond tightened his hand around your throat, starting to cut some of your air supplies, your eyes rolled in the back of your head.
It was all so much.
It was all so good.
“Come.” He growled as he finally looked up at you. “Come, before I lose it.” His eye fixed on yours. He looked feral. He looked like a chained animal, that once set free, would have hunted and killed everything in its path. “Come, before absolutely ruin you.” 
It wasn’t like you had any control over it, because when the pleasure reached you in such a hard, strong frisson, you could only surrender to it. Your eyes widened, your mouth opened, but Aemond tightened his hand on your throat even more, killing every sound you could have let out. Your eyes watered as your hips jerked, the pleasure washing over you in devastating waves.
He snarled, letting go of your throat, but you barely had the time to take a deep breathe because you felt a stinging pain, barely muffled by the aftershocks of you climax, as Aemond grabbed tightly your hips and harshly pulled to him, making you slip down on the bed and making his cock thrust completely inside you, as he moaned on top of you.
“So fucking tight.” His voice was strained, his breathing heavy, then, you felt a strange sensation of wetness inside you.
You whined as the bliss of pleasure slowly faded away, leaving you in an uncomfortable pain, so you pushed Aemond away, who retrieved with a groan, slipping out of you.
You slowly sat up, looking at him as your mind slowly registered the last moments. 
Aemond stood up from the bed, tucking himself inside his pants and starting to put his armor back on.
You didn’t say anything in the meanwhile, you just stared down at the bed covers, where you and Aemond were laying till a few seconds before, committing one of the worst sins ever.
A sin that felt so good.
You snapped out of your moment of trance only when you heard the door slam shut, and a strange smell of burned paper in the air. You moved to the end of the bed, on the floor, there was a piece of paper on fire.
Jace’s letter.
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ariaste · 1 day
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A Discussion on Book Endings
Hey, friends. Thanks for coming today. I'm sorry to break it to you, but this is an intervention. Please, don't get defensive -- everyone here loves you and cares about you. But listen... I'm gonna need book readers and reviewers to reflect on the idea that finishing a book and going "Oh, I loved it so much, but I wish it was just a few pages longer!" is not really a valid point of negative critique in the assessment of a text.
Let me explain.
When I read people's otherwise wildly positive reviews of books and they say that line, I don't interpret it in context as, "This story needed to be a few pages longer for the plot to work, structurally, and for the ending to achieve a solid resolution." Rather, they basically seem to be saying simply, "I loved it and I didn't want it to end." That's always a GREAT feeling, but then they're.... taking points off from their total rating because of that??? They seem to be penalizing the author because they weren't left with a feeling of "Ugh, thank god it's over"? It's like, "This would have been five stars if it had had just one more chapter but it made me sad that it ended, so four stars" -- Guys, do we understand that's an insane take? It's insane. A book has to end. If you shriek "NO!!!" that it's over because you were having such a great time, that's... that's a symptom of a 5-star book, babes. I'm not sure why there's such a fashion these days for penalizing authors for this particular thing in this particular way, but it's really baffling to me.
But setting aside the puzzling trend of "I'm knocking points off because it ended when it should have gone on until I personally was fully bored and exhausted of it, like the 11th season of a TV show that was only supposed to go until season 4" -- listen, I guarantee you that nine times out of ten, when you're out here longing for just one more chapter or saying "this could have used an epilogue" you... are wishing for something that would have actively ruined your enjoyment and the quality of the book.
Are you a writer yourself? Have you ever finished writing a book before? Have you done it more than once? Have you deeply studied the endings of books? They are HARD, let me tell you what. Endings are so much harder than beginnings, because you're looking for that beautiful final note, like the ending of a symphony, and you're trying to ride it for a few glorious seconds before the FLOURISH and dum-dummmmmm....! and the conductor collapses as the audience bursts into applause! Right? Yes? Except that chances are that one more chapter or epilogue would ruin the pacing and resolution of the ending and muddle up the summary of the theme and thesis statement, and all of this WOULD ACTUALLY fuck up your experience of the story as a whole. For example, please consider the last Harry Potter book as an example. We all hate JKR now for being a TERF but oh, children, how quickly we forget that back in the olden times, we used to hate her for that fucking epilogue that made everything that came before feel rancid and pointless and hollow and cheap. Y'all remember how sickening and infuriating that was? Do you remember the Hunger Games epilogue? Nine times out of ten, that's what you're inexplicably wishing for.
To see this point illustrated, let's do a quick exercise together. Go pick out a piece of classical music -- some of my best suggestions for this are Beethoven's Ode to Joy, or "Der Holle Rache" from Mozart's Magic Flute, or Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. Listen to it all the way through. If you're struggling with scrolling addiction and your attention span has been severely damaged, fine, listen to the last two minutes ("Der Holle Rache" is the shortest, just 3 minutes). Then, after the song is done, click back to some random spot earlier in the piece, listen to another 30 seconds, and then stop. Consider: Did adding that last 30 seconds materially improve the piece, or did it undermine the overall emotional journey? Did it help the ending to stick the landing even more than it already did, or does it just feel weirdly stuck-on as an afterthought, like the "for more fun videos, check out the rest of our channel and don't forget to subscribe!!!" card at the end of youtube videos?
When you are wishing for an epilogue, my doves, you are wishing for something you do not actually want -- or which you probably would not want if you had the option to see it in practice and compare it side by side with the original. You are wishing for something that would more than likely make the story worse. You are holding the author at fault for something being wrong with the text only because you hit immersion and were having a lot of fun and didn't want to come back up for air. Like, I'm just not sure that's something that the author should be blamed for? It sounds like they were doing their job really well???
Please, just. Separate your feelings of "bittersweet disappointment that this wonderful book is over" from "frustration that the author didn't stick the landing, ugh what a flop" because they are two separate things. Before you say "I'm taking points off because I wish there was more", please take two seconds to ask yourself critical thinking questions like, "Why did the author choose to end the book here rather than in two more chapters?" because (other than a few wild outliers that should not be counted) the answer is never, "They got bored and just didn't feel like finishing the story." Chances are, they chose that specific ending for a reason. They ended it there because that's the point that underlines the thesis statement of the book, or because the emotions of that scene are the ones they want you to remember and walk away with, or because that marks the place where the story arc is genuinely over. When the author says, "And they all lived happily ever after," that means that what happily-ever-after looks like is in your hands now.
Nine times out of ten, you don't want one more chapter. Please. I promise you that you don't want one more chapter. The book is done; what you want now is either fanfiction or someone to talk about it with. Or maybe to start the book over from the beginning! Believe me, you would not want one more chapter if you had it. (Or, if you did have it and it magically didn't suck, you would just keep wanting more chapters because that's what "really enjoying the book" means. In which case, go read fanfic, that's what it is for.) I promise you, I promise you, the book would probably be worse with one more chapter and you would not like it as much. Please stop wishing for the author to be less good at their job. Please. A book has to end; so does this post. And we all live happily ever after*. The End.
----- * The post-canon coffeeshop AU sequel will be detailed exhaustively on AO3
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spacebaby1 · 3 days
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hiiii can i get one of rindou x reader where they’re a lil highschool couple & how rindou shows affection and cute moments like that 🤭 i just loveee the highschool sweethearts trope
Rindou, my sweet, gentle baby. He's the best lover boy out there, and no one Change my mind on that. And I want to write more of these 🤭💕
"Relax, she's not a little baby. She's won't go missing walking to school." Ran laughed at how his little brother was anxiously waiting for his girlfriend; you by the gate, "she's my baby!" Rindou whispered back. Ran tapped his brother on the shoulder, "I'm going inside it's cold here." Rindou nodded, still looking ahead. He had asked you multiple times to let him walk with you to school, but you kept saying that you don't want him to walk too much since he lived on the other side of school than you. Few minutes went by and in distance he saw you happily walking, your smile grew wide when you waved at him and he jogged the little distance towards you rushing to gather you in his arms as you giggled hugging him, "wooh, what's gotten into you?"
"UGH, I just missed you." He squeezed you in the hug before letting go and intertwined his fingers with your as you two walked, "but I literally saw you yesterday," you chuckled. "Too long!" He kissed your knuckles before smiling wide as you two entered the school.
Everyone around you two saw how you both were madly in love from the way you both acted; always finding each other, always had his arm around you and held you closer or the way he smiled at you.
It was one of the school days when you asked him “What happens after graduation?” you asked, an uncharacteristic hint of worry in your tone that Rindou noticed as you had your head resting on his shoulder.
Rindou playfully shrugged his shoulder making you look up at him, a concern mingling with affection in his gaze. “We’ll figure it out. I can’t imagine my life without you, Y/N,” he reassured you, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your hair. “Wherever we end up, we’ll be together and forever.”
His words made your heart swell with hope, but doubt tugged at the edges of your mind.
Dates were something Rindou enjoyed planning for you and the on your face and the joy melted his heart over every date he planned for you. He had planned a fancy date at the beach, it was the sweetest date and he was absolutely in love from the way he was staring at you.
Later that night when you two were just starting at the sky sitting in embrace as he played with your fingers. He gave you the softest kiss on your forehead before kneeling before you and smiled wide before pulling out a small box from his pocket. Your eyes widened in surprise.
As he opened the box, there lay a simple silver Ring that was the most beautiful ring you ever saw “I want you to carry a piece of me with you, no matter where life takes us,” he said, his voice almost a whisper, reverberating with sincerity. “This is a promise that you will always have my heart.”
Your eyes glistened with unshed tears. “Rindou…” overwhelmed by the depth of his words you giggled as He slipped the ring onto her finger, and in that moment, you two sealed your love with a kiss that tasted of promises and unspoken vows. "I thought you were about to propose," you laughed at your own words making his cheeks blues and he chuckled before you hugged him and stared up at him, "do you like the idea of us being married?" He blushed even more. "I'd love to be your forever whenever we are both older and ready. I love you with my whole heart and give you the world." You rested your head on his chest, "you're my world, Rin."
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monsoon-of-art · 1 day
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Little Writing thing, wanted to write some Hayday, but from the perspective of Xavier, his Ray-Of-Sunshine coworker at a grocery store.
Xavier really wasn’t sure what to make of his new coworker. Sure, Mister Murphy was going on about needing a cashier, and Xavier was a little happy to have another dude to hang with, there was just…something about Lee.
His name was Lee. Or, at least that’s what he liked to be called. Mister Murphy began saying a name starting with a “C”, but Lee was quick to speak over him. Lee was fine.
Lee was…strange. For starters he was tall as anything, and he grimaced when Xavier tried to crack a joke about it. Maybe he had heard that one before. Lee was tall and pale, had green eyes (with very dark circles around them) and dirty-blonde hair about the length of his shoulders.
Tangerine playfully asked if he cut it himself, and Lee - without any hint of sarcasm - nodded.
Xavier was more than happy to train the man, showing him how to clock in, where his locker was, where the cash registers were stored, how to set up his till, all standard practice.
(He swore he saw Lee’s hands twitch when he opened the safe with the registers inside. Maybe he was nervous at handling them, and Xavier wouldn’t blame him one bit.)
Lee had been silent on his first day, save for a nod or a shake of the head. But by the end of the day, he thanked Xavier for the help, and the man had the thickest southern accent he had ever heard.
Xavier tried to crack a lighthearted joke about the accent, earning himself only a sneer. He had probably heard that one too.
Soon enough, Lee settled in well enough.
He was…a little strange. Xavier wasn’t quite sure what to think of him.
He was skittish, jumpy almost. He barely smiled, and when he did, they were hesitant, tight-lipped smirks. Xavier had only heard him laugh once, a downright sinister sounding snicker when Tangerine tried to do a tiktok dance on the table and fell. He was helpful to customers and to the other coworkers, but the moment he was on break, Lee wasn’t going to let anything stop him from taking it. He drank coffee like a fish drank water, and Xavier had never ever seen him bring a lunch, but Lee was happy to ‘take care’ of products that couldn’t be sold.
Xavier thought of his level thirteen Harengon rogue in his current campaign when he thought of Lee. He was definitely jumpy like a rabbit, and he definitely had some rogue-like qualities.
Mister Murphy locked himself out of the office one morning, and Lee quietly offered to pick the lock on the condition he got to leave with a full day’s pay and zero questions.
Mister Murphy had called bullshit, and truthfully, so did Xavier. But Lee pulled something out of his pocket and picked the lock then and there.
And immediately walked out.
Lee was…a mystery. Xavier couldn’t help but think of the mystery campaign he ran two winters ago, where the key to solving it was learning more about the mansion’s mysterious owner. But this wasn’t his campaign, and Lee stubbornly remained closed off.
Xavier had tried; he tried all the jokes he knew, he tried inviting him to places afterwork, he even extended a seat in one of his Dungeons and Dragons campaigns, offering a freshly written half-elf rogue just for Lee.
Lee rejected all of his efforts. He rejected everyone else, too; Joy offering him to join her book club (a thinly veiled ask to make him do work around the house, something that Xavier had fallen for), Tangerine asking him to do tiktoks with her, even Hannah had sheepishly asked him for drinks after work.
“‘m busy.” he’d say sipping from his seventh cup of coffee. (Yes, Xavier had counted.)
“With whaaaat?” Tangerine asked, leaning closer. “What do you even do after work? You’re always in such a hurry to leave.”
“Not important.” Lee continued to deflect, free hand tapping on the table. By now, Xavier knew he did this when he was nervous. “Man’s allowed his privacy.”  
“Right you are!” Xavier cheerfully agreed, giving Lee a good-natured slap on the shoulder. “We only bug you because we’re curious, dude.”
Lee gave him an unimpressed glare over the rim of his coffee cup.
A strange development happened a few weeks later. The newspaper had arrived, with details on a relatively new villain that had begun to stalk the city streets at night. Updates on villains wasn’t anything out of the ordinary…but this new villain gave Xavier the creeps.
This villain had yet to identify themselves, had yet to make a grand, dramatic speech about their goals or wants. For all the city knew, this new villain robbed places blind, and had tried to kill Dragonfly the very first night they appeared.
The papers were calling it ‘the Scarecrow’. Xavier wondered if the thing was even human, he certainly didn’t think so. Gaunt and lanky with patchwork clothes and a wide-brimmed hat, looking like it had walked right out of a horror movie with the scythe it held.
Luckily, the papers weren’t on his checkstand. Xavier honestly didn’t know if he would be able to handle it.
They were on Lee’s checkstand, though, and the poor guy looked shaken up about it. White as a sheet, one hand covering his mouth while the other anxiously tapped on the counter. Sure, Lee was jumpy, but Xavier had never seen him like this before. Not even when he broke a bottle of wine and Mister Murphy called him into the back office to reprimand him.
“Oh, dude, Lee-” Xavier started to say, voice sympathetic. “-I’m sorry you got those on your checkstand. I wouldn’t be able to handle it- That thing gives me the heebie jeebies, man.”
Lee’s eyes darted over to him, wide and frantic. He cracked a nervous smile, half-covered by his hand, “I-It’s just a man in a suit, ain’t it?” he asked, voice cracking. The tapping grew louder and faster. “H-He hasn’t hurt n-nobody…”
Xavier winced, hissing through his teeth. “I dunno man. I heard it like- eats people’s hearts? Or something like that!”
That’s what one article hypothesized, anyway. The author was a little far-fetched, but she was the only one coming up with actual ideas. Her theory was that the scarecrow had been brought to life by some kind of ritual, and now sought precious gemstones for its master, and blood to keep itself satiated.
Lee’s entire demeanor changed. Now, he looked at the man as if Xavier had suddenly started speaking Russian backwards. “...yer not serious.” he said, sounding completely unamused.
“Yeah man! Blood rituals! That’s what I heard. It’s kind of like an encounter in the Curse of Strahd-”
“I need to open my till now.” Lee cut him off firmly, heavily implying he was done with this conversation.
Xavier watched him for the rest of the shift, worried. Lee didn’t smile once that day, and his hands shook when he’d hand bags of groceries to customers.
Lee had somehow become even more withdrawn afterwards. He barely spoke, and he looked even more tired than usual. 
This puzzled Xavier. Lee had never reacted this way to other villains in the newspaper. Maybe he was just scared and didn't want to talk about it. Toxic masculinity was a hell of a thing, and Xavier gave Lee his space, encouraging the others to do the same.
Once the newspapers were replaced, he slowly started acting as he usually did. His weird, closed-off, usual self.
During a slow day, Tangerine grabbed the TV remote from Mister Murphy’s office. “Guys, guys, Dragonfly’s on the news!” she shouted, turning up the volume to the little television on the corner of the ceiling.
Seeing their city’s Superhero during the day was a rare sight. It looked like she was fighting a giant robot of some kind, the news report barely able to film the fight.
“Ooh, I hope that’s far from us.” muttered Joy, pretending to sweep as she watched.
Tangerine shrugged. “That looks like the other side of the city, we should be fine. Not like the boss would let us go.” She said with a giggle, taking out her phone to start taking selfies.
Xavier noticed Lee was watching with keen interest, and gave him a playful nudge. “That’s right, you’re not from here.”
Lee briefly tore his gaze from the television to give him a sarcastic glance. “What gave it away?”
“This is probably the first time you’ve seen her, huh? The Dragonfly!”
“It’s just Dragonfly, not ‘The’ Dragonfly.” Tangerine corrected, not looking up from her phone.
Xavier rolled his eyes, but turned back to Lee. “What do you think? She’s something, huh? Not every city has their own Superhero!”
Lee didn’t answer. But Xavier could practically see the gears turning in his mind, thinking of a response.
“She’s…she’s somethin’ alright.” he finally said, repeating what Xavier had said. There was a strange tone in his voice, one that Xavier couldn’t really identify. Hesitant? Strained?
“I think she’s super cool. I mean, I sure couldn’t do that, man!” Xavier said, trying to move on. With a sly grin, he said in a hush. “I think she’s kinda hot. Easy on the eyes, you know?”
Xavier nearly burst into laughter at how red Lee’s face got at that. “Leeeee, you’re a dog! I won’t tell anyone, don’t worry!”
“She does her job.” Lee tried to insist, crossing his arms over his chest. “And she does her job well, from what I’ve seen. I can respect that.”
How very pragmatic. How very…him. Xavier smiled and pat him on the back. “Least we got one thing in common, huh dude?”
Lee gave him a long, unimpressed look before shrugging. “Sure. One thing. One thing in common.”
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The Things I Wanted To Say
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This is part two of the story Things I Wish I Got To Say. This is another old one that I must have deleted when I purged my account when I went on hiatus.
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You were like any other demon in hell. You were cold and calculating, standoffish and stubborn. It was cute, but I wouldn’t tell you that to your face. I knew you had your set ways in life, and I had mine. I never thought the day would come when I would never see that familiar smile again. Something so cherished in my time by your side that I refused to forget even in my new life.
I thought surely Charlie's magical ideas would never be actual or possible. However, her smile and joy were so contagious that I returned to that hotel countless times to help her achieve her dreams. See, when I died the first time, I was being attacked; in my defense from the attacker, I killed them, and I was cast to hell. It's an odd thing to be considered a sinner, but I wouldn’t change it for the world, especially since I got to see you all those days.
What hurt the most when I left hell wasn’t the sword to my chest or the ringing in my ears. It was knowing I would never see that smile again. That was the worst part of it all, honestly. I got so used to the sound of your static, the buzz of your voice, the joy hanging off your arms.
I still remember when you taught me how to dance. I was horrible at it, I know, but you made me feel like I was the best at it all the same. You made me feel the best at a lot of things, from dancing to cooking. You even let me write scripts for you a time or two. 
I still laugh when I remember how I told you ‘I Know’ when you confessed your love for me. Would you believe me if I told you I was just scared you were lying to me? Yet when you held me close after saying it, you washed all those worries away. I was fortunate to be there with you.
I sometimes still wish I listened to you that night when you begged me to run away. Maybe had I listened, I would still be by your side or have seen your smile. Yet I didn’t. Would you like to know why, my love? Because the thought of you dying without me was too heartbreaking to handle. I couldn’t imagine a life without you, yet here I was, making you live without me.
When I arrived in heaven with Pentious, everyone was shocked. These two angels were there, Emily and Sera. One sure looked more happy than the others. However, Pentious and I fought to make Charlie's dream a reality here in Heaven, too…I know she saw me up here when she visited last. Did she tell you I was alive and well?
Do you care I am alive and well?
I wish to see you again, my love…maybe one day, you will be redeemed as well.
To: My Radio Demon
From: Your Doe
A loud banging was heard at my door. I rushed to cover up my desk, and as I made my way to the door, I straightened myself out, whipping my eyes from the tears I let out. Charlie had brought me the letter that Alastor had written in my absence, and I felt compelled to respond even if he would never read it. Opening the door, I see the young Seriphem Emily standing before me with a bright smile. “OH, Y/N, YOU NEED TO COME WITH ME QUICK!” 
I laughed. She was always so happy when a new batch of hotel residents was redeemed. She always wanted Pentious or me to be there so we could help them adjust to this new life. “Em, please I…I have had a long day…How about you ask Pentious to go instead.” Though I hated to see her frown, she nodded in sad agreement. I closed the door and returned to my desk, looking at the two letters next to each other. When would Charlie be back to give this to him? Would he even read it? Does he hate me for dying? 
As thoughts swam through my head, I recounted the years since my arrival here in Heaven. Looking at all my new photos of my time and journey here, I wondered if my old room in Hell still had those photos from my time there. Charlie said Alastor wouldn’t let a soul into my room once I was gone. 
It took a lot of arguing and convincing to get the angels on Charlie's side even after we appeared here in Heaven. Yet I couldn’t be more proud of the progress all of us have made. Smiling, I let more tears fall. I missed you so much. As I let the dam of emotions release, I heard another knock at my door.
I hoped it wasn’t Emily, though I have always been kind; I knew my current temper would rival my old self in Hell. “EMILY GO AWAY I CAN’T GO OUT NOW!” 
I had so much sorrow and pleading in my voice that I hoped she understood. Yet the knocking continued, only growing more frantic. I sighed, not even bothering to clear my desk as I made my way to the door. Em had often seen me cry over Alastor, so why would this time be any different? 
As I opened the door, time seemed to freeze, to stop dead still. I couldn’t believe my eyes. A new wave of tears and emotions overran my being, and before I knew it, I was jumping into Alastors' arms.
“Hello, dear, long time no see. Did you miss me?” He spoke so clearly, with no static or radio edge. It was odd at first, but it made no difference; the man I loved was standing before me here right now. “Alastor! You are here! How? What?” As I spoke, I pulled away and saw he no longer sported the Red and Black of his typical look. No, he looked ethereal, angelic. Alastor had been redeemed, The Alastor, overlord, and soul owner was redeemed. “Well, my darling, it took a lot of work and quite a few freeing of souls to make this happen.” He smiled, but not the strained, forced smile; it was a regular, normal smile. I felt so at peace; my Alastor was back.
“Oh, Al, you did all of this for me?” He nodded his head, pulling me back into him once more. This time, over his shoulder, I could see a smiling Charlie, Pentious, and Em at our reunion. Pulling me back to face him, I yanked him into the room and closed the door. “Al, we have so much to catch up on; there is no time to waste.” A warm chuckle left his chest as he held me once more. We had all the time in the world now, safe from hell, contracts, and everything that wasn’t our pure, happy love.
I finally have the chance to tell him all the things I wanted to say…
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vicsy · 1 day
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Many people won't care about me writing about this but I must get this out.
I got into Formula 1 at the beginning of 2022. It coincided with the world as I knew it collapsing in on itself with record speed. I don't hide the fact that I am from Russia and I know most people would know what my country started in February that year. You watch your entire life plans getting crumpled like a piece of paper and thrown into the trash; the borders closing, companies leaving, the world turning back on you for the sole fact that you were born here. You watch yourself slowly inched into isolation.
And at the worst time in my entire life I managed to find this little gateway. It started with Lando, funnily enough, because I didn't know my way around the F1, so I picked someone with a Star Wars name. Irony is not dead. It wasn't long before I imprinted on Daniel like a fucking baby duckling.
Even through the mess that was his career in 2022, he brought me (and many others) so much joy. I was slowly navigating the world of racing and trying to make sense of it all. Daniel was there. The narratives were there. He is the reason I discovered the fanbase, the fandom, the reason I met so many people I get to call lifelong friends now. And I can't imagine my life without them anymore. At my lowest I found a community that made my life bearable and fun and bright; a community that made me want to create and write again. Daniel was the reason I broadened my horizons and became a Fernando fan, Lance fan, a fan of so many other drivers that I still have the joy to support even when Daniel won't be there, behind the wheel or barking in the garage.
You'd think that it's stupid to hang your entire life balance on one millionaire who drives cars in circles and won't ever know you exist. But to me Daniel became that balance when everything else was just plainly uncertain. I watched the news of the world events unfolding and that pit of dread was never ending. It was like having a rug pulled from underneath your feet every single day. Those first 2-3 months of the war felt the worst. Not like it changed but you get the idea. But I still had this little F1 world and this smiling weirdo to brighten my day.
The friends that I found, the happiness that I managed to scrap in the times of great uncertainty, all of this was tied to Daniel. He was, in a way, a lifeline that led me to a hobby that I've grown to love. It hurt me back, multiple times, but it also saved my sanity on so many occasions.
I know, in my heart, Daniel will bounce back. Who knows, maybe he'll be back one day, in 2026, or doing something related to F1. Or maybe he chooses to stay away forever. Me, personally? Of course I'd like to see him race. And I hate change. The change of it all hurts as much as the fact that Daniel never got a proper goodbye. I do hope he knows, somehow, how much he is loved.
And I'll forever cherish the fact that I got to see him live in Baku, that I stood in front row an listened to him explain his terrible pizza choices. I heard him say well done, Baku first hand. I'm glad I got there in time to get a signed card. I'll always have the warmest feelings towards Daniel. If not for him, my life would be emptier today.
oh, and, never forget – fuck 'em all.
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azrielgreen · 1 day
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random question, but why Nebraska? I live in the US and often forget Nebraska even exists, but you happen to have two stories set there. Do you have a connection to Nebraska, or did you just choose a state at random in the middle of the country? Or do you find something poetic about the expansive nothingness of the Cornhusker state?
just curious.
So, it's really strange but Nebraska holds a deep emotional meaning in my heart that involves Ethel Cain, Billy Hargrove and 'Rooms'. Apologies for the little ramble ahead, but for those who enjoy such things, gather round.
When I first started writing Rooms, I was experiencing a lot of burnout, very much questioning myself as a writer and also recovering still from a near death experience. I had made a new friend who became such an important and beautiful part of my life, and it was in this time of loss, self-doubt and awakening that I felt comfortable enough to share with my new friend that I loved the character Billy Hargrove. This sounds so stupid even as I'm writing it now, but I had been made to feel that liking him was this extremely taboo thing and that I should be ashamed of it. Even a former friend I thought I was close with often made me feel terrible for liking him. My new friend was not like that. We talked for hours and hours about the things we liked, and I felt brave enough to admit that of all the characters, every single one, in ST, Billy is my favourite. My friend was kind and open and supportive and it was here, around this time that we started writing a story together that would later become Prism and coming up with all these incredible ideas and perspectives I had never considered. Although people credit me with much of Prism Eddie's creation and expansion, always remember it is @thorniest-rose who invented him.
This is when I wrote Rooms.
This is also the time I discovered Ethel fucking Cain.
A House in Nebraska and Sun Bleached Flies altered my DNA and I listened to them both back to back on a loop while writing Rooms. It became something so meaningful and personal and beautiful, and all three are tangled up together. Inextricable connections between these things I love so much and at the heart of it all, is Nebraska. I've never been to Nebraska, but I imagine it to be exactly as you said. The great, vast nothingness, the absence of any significant pull to visit or tour there. It's sort of branded into me, the line about 'I'm still praying for that house in Nebraska, by the highway on the edge of town,' and it's all tangled up with Billy Hargrove and the possibilities of an abused kid making good, coming through the other side, learning and growing. Longing for this quiet, no man's land of blue skies and endless horizon. I would often dream of such things myself. Just a house. Somewhere I was safe. And I wrote all this at a time when I met someone I came to love and care about so much in mutual support and kindness, and it's why Rooms is gifted to her.
Opening yourself up to new things is such a beautiful and important phenomenon, especially when you're grieving or recovering. Rooms to me is a touchstone of reassurance that I can write whatever the fuck I want and anyone who tries to tell me different is not my friend. Nebraska has become an almost nebulous place in my mind and heart, to the point I get excited when I hear anyone even mention it in passing. I think we put meaning where we need to, anthropomorphising and humanising and telling stories to get through the hard parts of life. Nebraska is the core of that for me. Synonymous with self-acceptance, growth, positive change, releasing what doesn't serve, embracing who you are, saying fuck you to those who would police your joy and creating whatever the fuck you want without needing it to be liked, but also this deeply sad part of myself that acknowledges what I went through as a child and what I experienced at the hands of people who were supposed to take care of me. I have at this point in my life lost a huge amount of my childhood memories all the way up to my late twenties. Nebraska is the long distance friend I never had, the moon watching over me, the place I go to in my mind to make it all go quiet and calm. I feel like I've written this huge story around a place I've never been to and for some reason, it just stuck hard.
Like many British kids growing up watching America on our screens, I always wanted to live there and although I'm now glad I don't, I'll always be in love with the country and all her patchwork quilt states, these weird little lands sewn together that are so different, almost like a world unto itself. I never choose a state randomly, but Nebraska is laden with meaning and woven with feeling, all of which I'm sure seems massively unearned as I'm just another person who grew up in a rainy country, longing for blue skies, with a tendency to love abandoned things.
Thank you for asking.
All my love, Az
💜💜💜
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What have been some of your favorite rps over the years? Have you developed any personal ocs that you particularly enjoy (I know you've got Dark Beasts going on, so if you wanna talk about what's going on there, that'd be cool too!
Oh, this is a tricky one! Not least because it relies on my memory, which is one of my least reliable traits, ha - but I shall do my best!
The first one that comes immediately to mind is this thread with @themckaytriarchy - it was sort of integral to the process of my getting over what X-Force did with Beast by taking control of it, and it also just let me dive into a more horror based thread, which I don't often get to do. Beast is a character who is often very horror-aligned, so getting to really explore that was a ton of fun. I got very poetic in there, but I had a great time.
There's also this thread with the same writer, which was sort of how Cereal and I really got to be such good friends, and how Hank and Tess ended up becoming BFFs. They just had such instant chemistry and bounced off each other really, really well, and I love getting to play Hank as the best aspects of all of his selves - the more mature vibe of his feline self mixing with his younger, gremlin energy, the regret of his modern self mixing in with that, I like when I can pull on all the strings at the same time, if that makes sense.
Oh! Another one is this thread with @silverjetsystm - one of the things I absolutely love about Hank is that he knows goddamn everybody, like, the man's been on every team you can imagine, so there's always some era you can dive into, and his time on the Secret Avengers was so undeveloped, and MK-mun has just been an absolute joy to write with. You can really tell when I'm getting into a thread because I just write reams and reams and reams, and things get more poetic, and Hank starts thinking heavier and heavier things.
Easily another one is this one with @thebettermccoy - I've been wanting a good Dark Beast to bounce off for ages, to the point where I took him on as an extra muse just so he and Hank could interact and I could practise their voices, but then Squirrel-mun took the brave step to take him on, and it's been a joy ever since. It's so gratifying to get to refer to one specific issue from 1996 that no-one but me and Squirrel-mun know about, and they know the lines of dialogue just as well as I do, and we can just dig.
Another one is this one with @themarvelliteraryuniverse - I've lowkey shipped Beast and Sabretooth for years because of Wolverine and the X-Men vol. 1 #8, and getting to actually attack that dynamic and explore it and see Locke's unique take on Victor mesh with my Hank in such an instantly compelling way . . . god, it's a dream come true for me, honestly. Something that often gets lost about Hank is his inherent sexual drive and energy, his repressed primality, his morals interacting with his pull towards the dark, and exploring that is always just a complete joy.
Oooh, ooh! This one with @notmymamasboy - not only is it fun to play Hank as getting used to being pursued again, but Stabby is just so good at throwing this inescapable, unrelenting energy into Raze that makes him feel like a force of nature that Hank has immense affection for and attraction to, but, again, knows has a lot of darkness attached to them. They just bounce off each other really well, and it's probably what fandom would qualify as a crack ship, but I just like the intellectual conflict intersecting with the interpersonal chemistry.
Another one I've loved is this one with @emmatriarchy - I'm an absolute sucker for getting to fill in missing bits of Hank's history, and I always thought it was such a travesty that X-Force never tugged on the very brief but incredibly impactful time where Hank and Sage interacted in X-Treme/New X-Men, because it adds such dimension to their dynamic. Getting to explore that in-situ is a dream for me, and I also just love getting to play Hank from specific periods with specific moods, especially with gloriously obscure and underappreciated muses, with is sort of this mun's whole thing. :)
Ooh, ohh! This one, with @maximummuses - I again felt like this entire thing was swept under the rug back in the 2010s, and it felt like such a disservice to Hank and Logan that they never got to have this conversation, that they never got to just GO AT one another, everything laid out, all honesty, all feeling. This was, again, just another dream for me, and as far as I'm concerned, this is canon and exactly how it happened.
Now we get into stuff that was more dynamics, and also older threads with are, like, a decade old . . . my X-Force Beast's twisted toxic relationship with dusktrip's Wolverine was a delight, and I miss that writer very dearly (they had to stop RPing due to a lack of time) because it let me just drown in a very dark place for a bit in a very controlled way. They, like themckatriarchy, were integral to me coming to terms with what X-Force did with Hank's character.
There are tons of threads with people like brandisnotmygivenname (Abigail Brand), technarchology (Warlock), hulksdontdoweak (She-Hulk), this-city-is-a-symphony (Dazzler), fangedfirecracker (Jubilee), levoleurcinetique (Gambit), healingtheassassins (Elixir), dontcallmejulio (Rictor) - a lot of people from nearly a decade ago who aren't active anymore, but I still think of them a lot, and a lot of the time, I have to remember that Hank's dynamics and history with these people in canon don't necessarily include these versions of the characters, ha.
But, very formative to my interpretation and exploration and journey with Hank.
As for OCs - I'm sort of a one fictional obsession kinda guy, so I don't really have too many! I did have a guy called Danny Jones who was a mutant based on Tito Bohusk from New X-Men. He was from a Young Avengers RP ages and ages ago, and I think at one point he was going to become a Ghost Rider? It was a long time ago, in fairness.
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I also have an AU version of Hank called Sir Henry, codenamed Grandmaster, who's inspired by the Ghost Box steampunk version of Hank and Sublime. Instead of being a scientist, he's a Victorian era spymaster with Hank's typical intelligence, but a lot less of his warmth and ethical consideration. He tended to dual wield pistols a lot.
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I actually still have some art a friend of mine did from the Exiles RP he came from. This is her OC, Joan, with whom he had a budding romance.
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But, as of late, the biggest one has been The Irredeemable Beast, which has spawned a number of characters, the most significant of which is Zeke.
Zeke has always been a clone of Dark Beast, in my conception of him. I always figured that Dark Beast would absolutely be the type of person to keep spare clone bodies around because, frankly, he keeps wagging his ass at people who are stronger than him and can kill him, and the fact that he kept dying and coming back diminished only solidified to me that he would eventually kick the bucket and need an out.
The version of him in Irredeemable is altered slightly, in that he's a recently created clone of Dark Beast - in the original chain of events, he was released as a kid, along with a twin brother, Strauss, and they grew up relying on each other, eking out a meagre existence by living between the lines. They had full lives, but obviously severely disadvantaged, and hated Dark Beast whenever he was around because, well, why wouldn't they?
Zeke's fun to play around with just because he has a lot of Hank/Dark Beast's perception and wit, but he doesn't have the same level of intelligence, knowledge, privilege, or advantages, so he has a bit of a chip on his shoulder - yet he still tries to have fun, which is very Hank. He's a good grounding presence, which is why I decided to make him a central part of Irredeemable, and I have a good few plans for his arc going forward from Dark Beasts.
His narrative arc is sort of meant to tackle a big problem I had with both X-Force and, more widely, the Krakoan resurrection system, which is the amount of wasted bodies/clones, and the lack of thought put into what's a 'real' life and what isn't.
The whole Talon/Wolverine split is treated completely differently to how the clones in X-Force of both Hank and Logan are treated, and I wanted to unpick that, question exactly what a clone's life is worth, and question why we arbitrarily decided that we put more value on Talon/Wolverine, but carving dozens of Hanks and Logans was perfectly acceptable.
Every one of those Hanks or Logans could have been a valid individual in the exact same way that Ezekiel is, and I want Hank to have to think about that, and be faced with the ethical/existential question of the lives he arbitrarily brought into existence in such a cold, mercenary fashion without any consideration for his responsibility for them.
Zeke is just a really good foil for Hank, and Hank absolutely needs a foil, because his internal monologue is fascinating, but it really can get maudlin and self-involved, so you need to break that up with some youthful 'I don't give a shit' energy, which Zeke provides in spades.
One of the other characters in Dark Beasts, Yekaterina, is a pretty minor character, but pretty much any time I come back to my long term plans for the fic, I keep wanting to give her more to do. I think it's really important to me that X-Men have human characters who are friendly and pro-mutant, who make up the other half of the mutant metaphor, because that's something the comics really did just give up on for the longest time, and it makes such a difference to have a human who's like 'no, fuck Orchis, fuck all these racists, I'm with you because it's the right thing to do.'
I also have a tendency to write exclusively dudes, so Yekaterina and Jennifer Nyles keep being given more and more to do so that I break out of that writing rut. Same thing with Olivia Ocampo, the Orchis commander in Dunfee - I explicitly gave her a Marvel branded alliterative name so that I would use her more, and I know where her story goes. I need to get on that, actually, I want to release that chapter close to Christmas if I can . . .
Gorobitz and Taft are pretty shameless Rosencratz and Guildenstern expies. I like giving goons personalities, and I think it's funny exploring the weeds of the arbitrary distinctions of anti-mutant racism through the lens of a pair of garden variety Orchis grunts. They're gonna turn up in future chapters with similar segments.
I think that covers the majority of it? There are other characters who are going to appear later on, including an Orchis agent that I want to be a bit of a surprise. The entire fic is about the ramifications of Hank's actions and dealing with them, and that agent has a backstory that is all about Hank's actions and what they meant for her, and I think he's gonna struggle not to feel like he should just let her shoot him in the head when he finds out what her deal is.
Thanks for the question! It was a really good one!
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imtrashraccoon · 1 month
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Hehehe (`・∀・´)
Can we get a "don't imagine" for ut!papyrus, with lolita reader \(^_^)/ (is this allowed? I slept for 4 hours so i don't totally get the pinned post 😞)
Yes you can! You're all good! I hope you managed to get some more sleep though. (⁠・⁠ω⁠・⁠)⁠つ⁠⊂⁠(⁠・⁠ω⁠・⁠)
Don't imagine getting ready for the day and heading out to do some shopping. How you made sure to bring your parasol to help ward off the sun. How you took your time walking so you wouldn't overexert yourself.
Don't imagine how the air feels thick and how you struggle to breath properly. How you know you'll have to get your clothes dry-cleaned after this from how badly you're sweating. How your skin almost feels clammy. How you start to feel light-headed and slightly nauseous. How you nearly collapse onto a nearby bench to try to recover.
Don't imagine a tall skeleton in clothing so bright, you feel nearly blinded. How he seems a little nervous but puts on a big smile. How he compliments your outfit. How he marvels at how intricately detailed it is and how he asks if you made it yourself.
Don't imagine how his smile falls and how his eye sockets widen when he realizes that something's wrong. How quickly he puts together that you might be experiencing heat exhaustion. How his bonebrows furrow with concern and he glances around for help.
Don't imagine how his eyelights seem to flicker with newfound determination. How he asks if he can help and how relieved he looks when you nod. How he helps you inside a nearby store to get you out of the sun. How he buys you a bottle of water and stays by your side until you seem to recover a little.
Don't imagine how he tentatively asks if you wouldn't mind if he tries using some healing magic. How surprised he is when you agree. How he sits down next you and slips off his gloves. How he seems almost scared to touch you at first.
Don't imagine how his cheekbones seem to light up with an orange glow when you take his hand. How he chuckles awkwardly but seems secretly glad that you did so. Definitely don't imagine how he places his free hand against your forehead and how cool his bones feel. How they warm up slightly and how you start to feel a tingling sensation.
Don't imagine how much better you feel when he finally pulls back. How you still feel tired but how you feel much lighter than before. How he sheepishly looks away and murmurs something about being self-taught. How he blushes again when you thank him for his help.
Don't imagine him asking if you'll let him help you get home. How you get the sense that he's still very concerned about you. How he even offers to carry your shopping bags.
Don't imagine being blown away by his unabashed kindness. How everyone else ignored you except for him. How he seems to light up when you accept his help once more. How he can't seem to run out of questions to ask on the way back to your home. How you actually find yourself amused by this sweet skeleton.
First, Previous, & Next Request
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usefulquotes7 · 2 months
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You will always struggle with not feeling productive until you accept that your own joy can be something you produce. It is not the only thing you will make, nor should it be, but it is something valuable and beautiful. Hank Green, A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor
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svnflowermoon · 10 months
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the moment i actually start writing it i remember that i do in fact enjoy writing and that i am doing this project for fun and then i love every second of it and this is your sign to stop procrastinating on that project. yeah you know the one. yeah that one. the one you've been putting off for weeks. just do it. seriously, this is your hobby it's not a chore and the sooner you stop thinking of it as something you have to do and recognise it as something you want to do it gets a million times better. i promise.
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lailuhhh · 2 months
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Okay okay so I had this AU idea but it’s not something I could pull off so I’m here going to yell about it because I can’t stop thinking about it. And maybe because I think you’d write it so well
What if Mac didn’t want to join the army? What if Harry or James forced him too? And he’s been banned from coming home(for a specific period of time). Is it because Harry’s sick and dying and doesn’t want his grandson to see him like this? Is it James for a more sinister specific reason?
So Mac doesn’t want to be there. He wants to go home. He’s had basically bad experiences with most of the people he’s interacted with(I’m a sucker for Mac’s previous overwatches being awful to him) and Peña was the exception but he’s gone and now he’s stuck with Dalton and he’s got so much time left here still and Dalton gets to go home soon.
They still don’t get along but Mac still saves Jack and he’s shocked when Jack stays because he gets to go home and choose to stay. Ahh it would be so interesting.
✨✨✨✨✨✨BESTIE✨✨✨✨✨✨
Okay what if Mac’s considered a troubled child? He has a record of everything that he’s done and really the only big thing was exploding the football field. He’s the weird kid but is still the Mac we know and love
Assuming everything is still pretty much the same, Harry and James still talk and James gets updates on everything Mac does and that was like the decision of him going to the army. Harry opposes it because he knows the horrors of it but doesn’t really have the final say in anything because while he’s technically Mac’s guardian, James is— unfortunately— still his father
Let’s assume Mac got a scholarship, but it’s really James setting his plan into place and through the magic of television, through signing all the paperwork and everything and getting the scholarship settled, Mac said he’d join the army when he turned 18
So Mac more or less gets literally escorted out of his dorm and shoved onto an army bus and taken away to basic, all while calling Harry trying to figure out what’s happening but Harry just tells him he signed a contract. Mac even calls the Bozers to try to help out because they actually care and don’t want him sent into a battlefield
Training and everything passes, old overwatches come and go, Peña is the only person who says the whole situation is fucked up and tells Mac he’ll look into it because legally the contract Mac signed was null and void because he signed as a minor without his guardian present so he really shouldn’t be there. James gets word of it because that’s just a big problem so he had a plan to keen him from finding anything out, but Peña ends up dying from the Ghost’s bomb and James doesn’t have to Deal With Him™️
At that point, Mac is pretty much cut off from everyone because he didn’t want to be there and the only person that seemed to care and believe him died. Then he gets transferred and the whole interaction with Jack happens and the scene where we see Mac disarm the IED with a battery and gum, how they’re kinda warming up to each other, Mac is still completely closed off because he just hates it there so much, even though Jack is trying to be a decent guy
And then when Mac goes off on his own—
“Now, we need to get on the same page, kid, and I mean right now. That is, if you want to keep breathing. Next time you wait for me to take my position before you go scampering off like that, you hear me?”
“Whatever. Not like it would’ve mattered.”
Which leads to a blowout of Mac yelling how much he hates it there and that he was basically kidnapped from college because he knew that, while he didn’t read the full contract, any agreements would’ve been void like Peña said because he was a minor and he didn’t have the power to consent to actually joining the army
When Mac saves Jack, it’s more of a if it was just me I wouldn’t really care but I’m not going to let you die just because my life sucks and Jack can see Mac going in a downward spiral and knows that if he doesn’t stay then Mac won’t make it out of the sandbox
The last few days is basically how they first met, but Jack’s making an effort to actually be the guy we know and love but Mac doesn’t want anything to do with it because Jack’s leaving and what’s the point of trying to be friends with someone you’ll never see again
So when Jack actually pops into the side of the humvee
“Why’d you come back? You had the opportunity to go home.”
“My home will still be there. I told ya before that I get all my bomb nerds home and yer no exception. You were dealt a real shitty hand and it’s fucked that no one will help ya get to the bottom of it. So I’m gonna stay here, make sure ya get home so you can stick it to those that fucked ya over”
So Mac’s tour gets finished, and since Jack actually holds power, they leave and Jack gets on contact with his buddies up the ladder to help get to the bottom of it and it takes a while but they eventually get the documents Mac signed and then consent forms signed by James and that just starts a whole whirlwind of the true James Hate we deserved
**Bonus points for if Harry died while Mac was deployed but they didn’t let him go home because James knew he would go AWOL so all his free days and leave had to be on base, also Mac assumed that Harry was the one that consented to him joining so he pretty much hated him until he found out the truth
All assuming Mac signed the scholarship forms when he was like 16 because you can legally sign up for the army when you’re 17
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