#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni

[booliuu]

∘₊꒰ Eyeless Jack Headcanons!! ꒱∘₊

ꪆৎ 𝙰/𝙽 : i’m back!! writers block has been really bad lately and work has been keeping me busy🤕🤕. im sorry about not posting for a while but i’m here to post again!! :DD enjoy my ramblings of one of my favorite crp’s!✨😌 heavily inspired by a bunch of films i was watching last weekend and while watching them , it made me think of jack lol. by the end of the films, i had A LOT of headcanons already written in my notes app lmaoo .

✰ - next creep’s i’m going to write about is either bloody painter , homicidal liu, possibly x-virus!! so keep a look out :3<.

warnings: talks of cults , a bit of bl*od. lmk if i’m missing anything ^^.

my inbox is open for asks!! if you like my content don’t forget to like , comment , & reblog❤️. enjoy reading!

* pictures: from pinterest🩵 (i don’t know the artist for this gorgeous ej fanart but if you do know pls comment!! thx <3. )

💉. . . Full name : Jack Nyras.

💉. . . doesn’t like the name or being called eyeless jack generally speaking because he doesn’t like thinking about his past..

💉. . .so he goes either by jack or ej!! :DD

💉. . . age: mid 20’s (24-26).

💉. . . bisexual!!

💉. . . nocturnal!! he’s not.. (more like never) out during the day because his poor eye sight make him very sensitive to light . buuut..!! most definitely catch him walking late at night around the mansion or the woods.

💉. . . his normal get up is a baggy black hoodie ( bro it’s looks comfy as hell i’m jealous..!!) , underneath the hoodie is a turtleneck , wears black baggy jeans, his mask , and combat boots. ( also carries his signature weapon which is a scalpel ^^ .)

💉. . . i headcanon him that he can somewhat see. lemme elaborate on that rq.

➯ don’t get me wrong it’s not clear at all, sees very little of his environment. it’s very..i mean very burry so he heavily relies on his other senses such mainly his ears , his hands , & echolocation!!

💉. . . gets really bothered by the black goop that comes out of his eyes lol. it pisses him off so bad liiike when he’s working on someone’s wounds… oooh boy..

💉. . . especially when it gets in his medical equipment, the bandages that he uses for the creeps … ect ect..

💉. . . has reallyyy sensitive ears!!.. which means he can hear pretty dang good. like it’s really impressive^^ i’m talking if your one of his victims…. your screwed bro idk what to tell you. your days are numbered by a couple of seconds 😔 until he catches up to you lol.

💉. . . has sharp nails it’s close to claws ngl, that can pretty much tear up anything up easily. such as human flesh…

💉. . . before he come a demon, he was studying in the medical field and trying to get a degree..!! (⌒▽⌒)��

💉. . . not really knowing what major or department specifically what he should put his time and effort on.

💉. . . so he kept joining and dropping different classes and courses bc he can’t make up his mind .. all he knew is that he wanted to help people and make the world a better place.

➯ however it mostly stems from his parents specifically his mom that had really big academic expectations for him at a young age . growing up he’s very quiet and kept to himself . literally perfect grades and at least knows an instrument that his mom made him learn.

➯ when he got older, his mom pushed him so much to join the medical field ( bc she couldn’t due to her pregnancy ) and if he mention any other classes it’s immediately denied.

➯ his parents didn’t have the best education growing up so when they have there son, it’s kinda thing where they pushed him to make up what they didn’t have.

💉. . . his thoughts mainly consist of if he should become a nurse , doctor, an assistant, or even if this is the right path he should be taking ect.. ect.. he wanted to join other classes & majors but his parents ( who were paying for his school) pushed him to stay in the medical field so he really didn’t have a choice..

💉. . . he didn’t really have much friends nor (except a little friend group he doesn’t see often but once in a blue moon yk?) even interested in dating bc he was really occupied with his own studies to even care about what’s outside of that if that makes sense.

💉. . . ok lemme TAAAALK.. liiike 👉👈 heeear me out yall

💉. . . he was most likely those guys that MANYYY PPL in his college had crushes on😭😭. because he’s cute and mysterious no lie …. manyof them admired him for his knowledge and passion for his projects , his papers , ect…

💉. . . a honest definition would be hot nerd. doesn’t really talk to anyone but only if the professor calls him though , gets work done, doesn’t care too about his looks but ppl think he’s cute but when the professor calls on him.. he can TAAALK FOR HOURS ON GHE TOPIC LIIIKEEE ..

💉. . . FINE SHYYYYTT😮‍💨😮‍💨 he still is lol .. OKOKOK anyways…

💉. . . let’s just saaaay … he had A LOT of secret admires he doesn’t even know about let’s be for reeeeal.. 💔💔

💉. . . anyways back in the topic in hand, he has major trust issuesss.. to the max. for real.

💉. . . like i’m talking it’s going to be a WHOLE while for him even consider yourself as a friend. has a lot of metal packaging. so be ready for that.

💉. . . but once you become his friend or even loverrr, he is very sweet and chill. a bit awkward too lol. will teach you medical advice, care , or random medical stuff that he just learned from somewhere or back when he was in college .

💉. . . he’s giving black cat energy, but in actuality he’s pretty nice once you get to know him. granted he does have a cold and sadstic side to him that he saves for creeps he doesnt like. *cough* JEFF , the rake* cough

ok some angst… we’re going to talk his past.

- ‼️i just want to say i couldn’t find eyeless jack’s original lore post so im sorry if this is not accurate >< !! im wring this based on memory !

💉. . . he become the way he is because his “friend” told him one night while hanging out in his dorm to join him to this festival that’s far away from the town that the college is. heavily suggested ( boarder line forced him-) for him to come visit there “family”.

💉. . . little does jack know it’s a cult… his friend trick him to go because his friend thought he would be a prefect candidate for there ritual …

💉. . . while there, jack didn’t know it was a cult but just thought it was just a family festival that’s comes every so often.. that has very weird gatherings and events happening but he didn’t think much of it… until it was too late.

💉. . . until that night that turn him into what he is right now. all he could remember is everyone is in robes covering there faces and surrounding him in a circle, him tied tightly on a chair and in front of him is a man that has a scooper and bowl.. for his eyes..

💉. . . after his transformation, his friend didn’t believe what he saw and basically ran away. for jack.. he didn’t let that slide. little does his friend know jacks hearing & smell has greatly changed so long story short it didn’t take long to find him .

💉. . . after finding him he k*lled the rest of the cult and join slender shortly afterwards …

end of angst 𓂅₊ ⊹𓄹 . . .

💉. . . now that he’s a demon, his physique has changed from when he was human.

💉. . . for starters , he’s much more taller. he used to be 5’10 or somewhere around that. now he’s standing 6’5 or even taller. oh lord . he even can tower most creeps in the mansion . but he’s not close even slender or LJ’s height.

💉. . . his skin much more darker and grayer, nails are longer and sharper, his teeth.. PH MH GOD it’s much more keen. capable of biting through anything. i dare say it’s much more like fangs. ears that can practically hear your own heart beat /or foot’s steps even though your far away from his reach. basically everything of his anatomy has changed.

💉. . . he knows his hearing and sight has changed for the better (../or worse honestly ), his goal is to not make it his weakness. he knows to many creeps that will take advantage of this.

💉. . . his medical room. don’t get me started. you think it’s messy, smells bad , blah blah blah…. everything is disorganized and cluttered.

💉. . . listen. he didn’t take and paid those medical classes he took in college to come to waste.

💉. . . it’s literally the equivalent of medical rooms that you see in hospitals or clinics in normal day society.

💉. . . liiike every medical supply neatly organized in there own bins tucked away in shelves, emergency kit, it even smells/looks like how an examination rooms that you go for check ups. sterile and a mixture of different kinds of cleaner products he “collected more like stole” bc he can’t stand a mess. ☺️

💉. . . i feel like his hands are really steady. granted his nails are pretty long but that doesn’t stop him from taking his time to make a good stitch.

💉. . . his handwringing depends on the situation. like if he’s in a rush he’ll write like how doctors write medication or proscriptions. ( like it’s very unreadable and scribble looking. .) very messy cursive lol. but if he’s taking his time then it’s really neat and writes as if he’s writing another paper for college even though.. he’s not in school… and uses words that not many creeps know lmfaooo.

💉. . . did i mention he really toned. probably not but now where in the topic let’s talk about it. :D .

💉. . . dudes is so jacked. not gym bro jacked though ew . after the years of hunting victims down and gets the food he needs to survive. missions . all that chasing and running. yeah . basically tone af. can run for lonnnggg while. especially when he’s hungry.

💉. . . cat person. highkey i standby that he pets every single cat he see chillin around the forest.

💉. . . he’s friends with the quiet creeps. such as bloody painter (helen) , liu , hoody (if he passes by the mansion), jane , clockwork , nurse ann and slender. i say slender bc he gifted him seedeater and luvs him so much.

💉. . . doesn’t wears his mask all the time. before though, he doesn’t show it but he’s really insecure about the black goop that leaks out of his eyes.

💉. . . it took him a couple of months or longer for him to register in his mind that he’s demon now. no turning back. AVOIDED mirrors like the plague for a while because he can’t stand that’s him now. :,(

💉. . . in his bedroom he keeps medical books about endless topics in shelves ( in alphabetical order mind you) that takes up some a lot of his space . reads them whenever there’s nothing to do or he’s bored ( which is rare ngl because there’s ALWAYS someone that need medical attention asap or commotion going on in the mansion. )

➯ his room i would say he has two LARGE book cases filled with medical textbooks . a single window that always keeps close and owns black out curtains ( he’s eye sight is a bit sensitive to light.. ) and yk the usual bed , lamp, and corner bathroom where one of his mini fridges is located in a hidden cabinet.

💉. . . his favorite color is deep blue and red. :]

💉. . . he always has stuck ups of kidneys in jars kept in a mini fridge tucked away in his bedroom or his medical room.

💉. . . but in the rare occasions he’s running low on food. he always carries a small scalpel and equipment for stitches with him whenever he’s out looking for ppl to stalk.

💉. . . i don’t think he’s kills them though useless slender tells him too. since he has the medical knowledge how to operate on a human. he only needs a kidney. at least one.

💉. . . once he locked in with a victim. he’ll wait until they fall deeeeep asleep. . and will make his way in by break in a window or door quietly.

💉. . . when he’s near your bed, he’ll flip carefully and cautiously move you to your side. i say carefully bc he doesn’t want you to wake up..! but if you did he’ll knock you right out. it’s quite simple.

💉. . . puts his gloves on and gets his scalp to make an incision on your lower back. once’s he gets there i mean it’s his now kidney, he quickly make a secure stitch that won’t open up.

💉. . . you’ll wake up to the feeling of stitches on your back and lower back pains. then questioned why your window is open until your eyes landed on a bloody sticky note.

💉. . . - it’s written, “thanks for the snack.” . ( hey least he’s nice about it ..!!)

💉. . . but if it’s slender that sends him away on missions, he carries a combat knife. and gets the job done. quick & easy . but if your asking me i think his nails and teeth is all he needs. his grip is s t r o n g. teeth ready to bite on flesh. like you can’t get away from him once he has you pinned down bro.

💉. . . he uses his medical knowledge for the better and sometimes worse i dare say. since he can’t go to college anymore , his education stopped and couldn’t get his degree. so he stocks up on any medical books he can gets his hands on. like i said before he’s very passionate! his knowledge won’t stop from there but will continue to grow as time goes on.

💉. . . puts effort on whatever wounds the creeps have. whenever they come back complaining how in pain there in or there coming to him again. he puts whatever item he has in hand. shakes his head and signs. very quietly. acts he annoyed but he’s not ><.

💉. . . working on there wounds , he mumbles he’ll never treat them again… but that’s a lie. :) he always willing to help them with their wounds. just too stubborn to admit it lol.

𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚜: @/zerowhy & @/aquazero.

ꪆৎ 𝙰/𝙽 : i hope you guys like these headcanons!! as much as i do <33. like i said b4 im working on a bunch of other crp’s headcanons ( this maaay.. become a series who knows lol🧐🧐.) anywaysss liu out!

if you like my content please don’t forget to like , reblog , and comment ^^.

liuuboo2025 ♡ﾟ

[specialagentlokitty]

Hannibal lector x teen!reader - I would notice

Is it possible to have a continuation of 'i would notice'? Bc that fic was scrumptious and I need to see reader happy and healthy with Hannibal 😭 - Anon💜

Part two:

You resumed your therapy on a non official basis, your parents weren’t billed for the sessions like usual, Hannibal would make the time to either go to your school, your home or occasionally to some cafe.

Hannibal had come to the agreement with you that he would meet you twice a week, and if you felt the thoughts getting the better of you then you would call him no matter the time of day.

He also insisted on checking your arms for any injuries and relied on you to tell him the truth about if you had inflicted any wounds elsewhere.

You were laid upside down on your couch while Hannibal read over the letter that you had given him.

“You refuse to go to your progression meeting? Think about college or university?” He asked.

“I don’t see the point, plus the letter insists on bringing my parent or parents with me and yeah considering they’re in a whole different country that might be a bit hard.”

He hummed a little bit, setting the letter down and he looked at you.

“Do sit up, all that blood rushing directly to your brain won’t do you any good.”

You sighed, swinging yourself back around so you were sitting up.

“Are you interested in perusing a higher education?”

“I haven’t really thought about it I guess…”

“You hadn’t thought about making it past your teenage years?”

You shook your head and he nodded in understanding.

“Well, we have some time, why don’t you take a moment to think about this. What do you want to do in your life?”

You went quiet as you thought about his question.

“I guess I want to help people somehow.”

“A doctor? A therapist?”

You shook your head.

“No. There jobs my parents want me to have, I don’t want them.”

“Well, perhaps you should consider going to this meeting, see what your options are based on your grades at the moment.”

“No thanks, I’ll pass.”

Hannibal sighed heavily.

“Will you attend this meeting if I were to ask nicely?” He asked.

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“I’ll be the only student there without a parent or guardian, that’s gonna make me the laughing stock of my whole grade.”

“Just consider it, I would like you to go there tomorrow, trust me.”

Hannibal checked his watch and stood up.

“I have an appointment soon, so I must be going but do consider staying for the meeting for me, see what options there are available for your future.”

You got up to see him out, but never gave him a response.

You were supposed to still be on summer break, but you found yourself wondering the school halls as you debated actually going to this meeting.

It was supposed to be the last one before senior year, anybody who hadn’t gone to any of the meetings were going to start getting pulled aside in following year.

The meeting would help clear up some doubts you were having on your future and you knew that, but you didn’t want to go alone, so you closed your locker.

You began making your way towards the exit, and last minute changed your course to step into the classroom where other students and parents were.

“Well, look who finally came. I was hoping you would.” Your teacher smiled.

You gave a small smile back, walking over.

“Hey Daniels, I was wondering if maybe I could just get a few leaflets and go.”

He nodded, picking up a few leaflets and some other things.

“Take it I can’t encourage you to stay?” He asked.

“Nah, plus it looks like you’ve got a pretty full room anyways.”

He chuckled a little.

“All last minute, just like you. But you’ve still got time to decide so don’t panic about it.”

“I won’t, thanks.”

You stuffed them into your bag and swung it over your shoulder, turning to head to the door and you nearly collided with someone walking through.

“I hope I’m not late, there was a great deal of traffic on the way here.”

You took a few steps back.

“Doctor lector?”

He smiled as he saw you, taking his scarf off.

“You came, although I assume I caught you just as you were leaving?”

You nodded.

“Well, since we’re both here why don’t we take a seat?”

You sat at the back of the classroom with him, setting all the leaflets you had gotten on the table.

“Have you thought about how far you want to travel?” Hannibal asked.

“I don’t really want to go too far, I want to stay somewhere semi familiar.”

“Alright, in that case we’ll take these ones away.”

He took a few of the leaflets away, and picked up one of the others, talking you though it and comparing all of the colleges and universities for you.

“Well, you are interested in animals, perhaps something in that industry?”

You gasped, lightly hitting the table a few times in excitement.

“Zookeeper!! Or.. or.. or ranch owner!” You whisper yelled.

Hannibal chuckled a little, smiling softly at you, and he set a couple of leaflets down in the table for you.

“Well, you still have your senior year ahead of you, but perhaps we can think of visiting a few of these universities, see what they have to offer for you.”

“Aren’t you like real busy or something?”

“I do have spare time, if need be I can make the time.”

You nodded a little bit, looking through one of the leaflets, showing him one of the pictures.

“This one has monkeys, and it’s near a zoo I could do work experience.”

“Well then, I think we should arrange a visit to this university and see all they have to offer, don’t you?”

You quickly nodded your head.

“How do we do that?”

“I’ll handle all of that no need to worry at all.”

You smiled a little at him, and you pulled another bit of paper from your bag, handing it over to him.

“What’s this?”

“Well, we get to decorate our parking spots, this is what I wanna do with mine.”

“This will take you all day.”

“Yup!”

You beamed at Hannibal and he handed the paper back to you, gesturing to the front of the room so you could pay attention.

When the meeting was over, Hannibal dropped you off back home.

“Shall I meet you here tomorrow?” Hannibal asked.

“Nah, it’s okay. I’ll see you next week doctor Lector, and I uh.. thank you for coming to the meeting.”

He smiled at you, making his way back to his car.

You wanted to get an early start on decorating your parking space, and you placed a sheet down that you could sit while you did it.

It was still early in the day, there weren’t many students there, but all of them were doing the same thing as you, getting an early start.

You were sitting with headphones on while you worked, but you did notice a shadow over you, so you tilted your head up.

“Doctor lector!”

You smiled, pushing your headphones down and you moved over so he could sit next to you.

“I happened to find myself with the day free, so I thought I would come check on your progress.”

“I’ve got to wait for the top to dry, so I’m working on the background for now.”

Hannibal nodded his head, and he looked at the paints that you were using.

“You’ve changed your idea a little bit.”

“Yeah, I thought a forest scene would be a lot nicer you know?”

He hummed a little bit, handing you a green paint, taking the one you already had next to you.

“Try this one, it would capture the essence of the pine trees, make them look more alive.”

“I didn’t think of that.”

You changed the shade of green you were using, and Hannibal took a paintbrush to help you, following the outline that you had made.

“Do you paint or something doctor lector?”

“I believe everybody should divulge into the arts in some way another, it can help clear one’s mind, find them peace.”

You nodded your head.

“You seemed to be rather adepts at painting.”

“My parents made me take art classes as a kid, I guess I just really enjoyed it because I kept painting. I lost interest a while back, but I thought maybe I should pick it up again.”

“Why was that?”

“You.”

“Me?”

Hannibal looked at you slightly confused and you smiled a little at him.

“Yeah, you taught me it was important to keep my interests, especially if I want to clear my mind. Painting really helps.”

“And visiting the pet store?”

“They have really cute puppies?” You grinned a little.

Hannibal chuckled, and he smiled at you, turning his attention back to the painting.

“I am glad to see that you’re becoming much happier, have you considered getting a pet? For company that is, that way you are not alone.”

“I was thinking about it, but I don’t know, I don’t wanna buy one you know?”

“Have you thought about adopting one? I have a friend who has done the same, I could ask him to come with us if you’d like?”

“Yeah! Oh my god I want to find a really adorable dog!”

Hannibal chuckled again.

“Well, considered it settled then. I shall get into contact with Will, I’ll arrange a date and a time, we will go to a few rescues until you find a perfect dog.”

You and Hannibal carried on working on your parking spot, he showed you how to blend the colours to look more natural, and he did the more intricate details for you.

When you were finished you put your hand into the paint tin, and you pulled it out, grinning at him.

“What are you planning?” He mused.

You stamped your hand on the bottom of your parking space, and wrote you name underneath, then wiped your hand on your jeans.

“(Y/N), don’t do that come now, you’ll never get that out.”

Hannibal handed you a cloth, and you used that instead, just grinning at him.

He stood up, and looked at your forest themed parking spot, trees, birds, blue skies, sunlight through the trees, a stag in the middle of them all, and an owl sitting on the branch.

“Why an owl?” You asked.

“Well, because they protest wisdom, a thing I believe you have a lot off.”

“Haha very funny.”

“It’s true, you’re a smart person (Y/N), with a lot of wonderful ideas for this world, and I for one look forward to seeing you grow into a wonderful adult.”

You smiled at him.

Hannibal gestured to paint.

“May I?”

You nodded and he brushed some paint on to his hand, and he printed his hand print next to yours, signing his name underneath.

He cleaned his hand on a cloth, and he stood next to you.

“Now this is truly a work of art.” He said.

“Can we go look at dogs now?”

“Well, everywhere is closed to the public, however Will has agreed for you to come to his home and meet his dogs, would you be alright with that?”

You quickly nodded your head and rushed to pack everything away.

“Careful now, we don’t want to ruin your hard work, you spent all day on that.”

“Right! Right! Carefully.”

Hannibal helped you out everything into your car.

“Go home and change, I’ll be there shortly to come get you.”

You beamed brightly from ear to ear and he smiled at you, opening your car door so you could get in.

You drove back home to wash the pain off and change into some fresh clothes, and you were practically bouncing with happiness as you waited for Hannibal to come back.

The moment you saw his car you were running down the driveway, and he chuckled, getting out of his car to open the passenger door for you.

“Does Will have a lot of dogs? Can we get them treats?”

You carried on rambling questions for him, and he just smiled, finally seeing you with a spark of life, a spark of happiness

[thechy-fychannel]

Rambling again. Hi

Wilson is just like that tweet "I've got to become normaler". Its like... he was taught to be this one way and he really really tries! Yeah sure he's wilson, a goofy guy but its like. He tries too hard to put on an aura of "good doctor good son good man" that it sometimes like. Slips and feels fake - he burries his feelings really deep down, like he's afraid of something real coming out to show on his face or something.

There's also the catholic like Guilt but i hc him going to catholic school for his pre-college education despite not being catholic at all. Picked it up by osmosis, and feeds into his worrying about being close to perfect as he can be.

Hi anon! Sorry it's taken me a while to answer this and I will be answering your other ask next !

I completely agree with you, wilson wants to be normal SO bad that it feels fake. I do wonder what happened to him to make him so scared of his true self. Was it religious guilt? Was it growing up with a schizophrenic brother (and I hc that his mother was schizophrenic too, but she managed it much better with medication whereas his brother consistently had issues going off of his meds)? Or was it as simple as someone telling him as a kid that he was weird and that was bad and he needed to be normal and that stuck with him?

I always tend to come back to his childhood, and maybe it's because we know so little about his childhood that it's easy to blame it for him being the way he is? But there was a lot of pressure on him to be his brothers keeper, to be levelheaded and supportive and be the "normal" one when his brother was so abnormal and erratic. Danny's schizophrenia brought negative attention and wilson desperately did not want that negative attention, so he tried to make himself as small and unnoticeable as he could, stuffing down the very normal desire to be seen and heard for who we are.

I can definitely see him attending some sort of Catholic school despite being Jewish, maybe an undergrad college that he received a scholarship to like you said. Although I suspect his issues with stuffing down his true self started long before college bc as we know, wilson stuffing everything down was one of the reasons him and sam ended up divorcing.

I'm going to get into this a little more on your next ask. Feel free to ramble in my ask box any time you want!

[mrghostrat]

i appreciate all the kindness for my uni rejection, and anyone going through the same thing should def read through my replies if they need similar comfort. there’s a lot of “ATAR isn’t everything!” comments tho, which made me realise i haven’t actually talked much about my goals, so i wanted to share a little context.

i’m 30 (on the 17th). i took a gap year after high school and i went to uni at 19. i even dropped out a semester before graduating to pursue the one thing that was making me happy (my first original comic) during a really bad depression (undiagnosed adhd burnout). i got the last units and graduated a year later, a bachelor of game design.

haven’t used my degree once. i went into comics and freelance rather than games. but i also loved that degree and would do it all again, it was absolutely worth it.

i’ve been freelance and self sufficient for 6-7 years, and it’s fun and i’m proud of the things i’ve made, but i’m so tired. i’m specifically tired of having to work 7 different angles to make up one sufficient salary, and even if it ends up being temporary, i’d give anything for a 9-5. have someone else in charge for once.

got to the end of my rope last year and sat down to figure out what i like and what i’m good at. a Life Plan, yknow. i’ve always had an interest in teaching, helping, connecting like that. figured out degrees and became really invested in this new trajectory i pictured my life going on. i was also tired of waiting, because every time i wanted to move back to the city from this tiny town we’re in, somethings come up or delayed it. so zita helped me figure out how we could get the ball rolling and break our lease 3 months early, so we could move back to melbourne and i could start my degree this year. we looked for (and found) an apartment specifically on the side of the city that would be closest to my campus.

i hope that gives a lil context as to why i’m so devastated right now. the last 5 months have been me revving up to start this new chapter at the end of feb and one little email said nah.

the degree i wanted to do was a double degree, secondary education (hons) and a BA of fine arts. i was equally excited for both, because i never got to do a lot of actual art learning in my last degree, and the BA would give me all of that— life drawing, sculpting, painting, wood/metal/jewellery working, digital, fuckin everything. but it was the less important of the pair, when it comes to getting myself a job as an art teacher, because i already have the art experience. it was just a fun bonus, and the education degree was the one i NEEDED.

in nov i had to travel to melbourne to present a portfolio and interview for the BA. they showed me around the studio too, and i fell a little bit in love. i got the acceptance email in december, but i still didn’t have an offer for the education degree. another reason why i’m so discombobulated— i technically have an invitation, but it’s for the less important degree that would just be a money sink. do i go to uni anyway?? or just ignore this invitation and move on?

my state recently made education/teaching degrees free as a way of encouraging more teacher jobs. i learnt about this after i decided i wanted to pursue teaching, so it was just a fun lil bonus that i wouldn’t be adding to my student debt. apparently not, bc i didn’t think about how every teenager and their dog would apply for teaching degrees so they could get straight into uni without any debt. so, even tho i’m a graduate and i’m not relying on school scores, i was one in a million, likely just numbers on a page, and didn’t get in.

there could be other paths. i could start the BA and add the Edu degree later? i could reapply for mid year intake. i could… idk, most of what i could do requires emailing Monash and asking wtf, because i have no idea what’s actually possible and will need someone to lay it out for me.

still feels like i’ve run into a brick wall though. little bit shut down. more sad, not quite angry, but suddenly really spiteful for some reason— like “oh, you don’t want me? okay fuck you then, i won’t ever teach.” so stupid. just a bit fragile rn

[our-queer-experience]

Sorry for shoving this rant-like mess in your ask box, so feel completely free to ignore it if you want. I'm mainly looking for advice but if you don't want to/can't give any that's perfectly fine (and I'm aware I'm not entitled to your time or a response).

I'm in high school (junior) and don't have a car or job. I live in the suburbs and don't have the means of getting anywhere unless my parents drive me, but I'm planning on getting my driver's license this summer, so I'll be able to go to in-person demonstrations, events, and protests. I'm also hopefully going to get a after-school job during my senior year. So basically, as of right now I don't have the means to donate to mutual aid requests nor am I able to do much outside of school. Im in my schools anti-hate club thing, but all we do is hang up anti-bullying posters, organize fundraisers, and plan assemblies (so all in-school related activities that don't have much consequence on larger problems). I'm in a very privileged position, being a middle class white person so I know I should be doing more to help. I was wondering if you had any suggestions on what I can do to better help the people around me/be a "good person"? I put together a spreadsheet a while back that I've been reworking in my free time to try and calculate how much money I could put towards mutual aid when I get a job in different situations (whether I make $13, $14, or $15 + whether or not I am enrolled in my local community college + whether or not I live on my own. I haven't planned any further than that), and have roughly concluded that I'll, hopefully (assuming my math isn't wrong and assuming my assumptions come true), be able to put forth $37-$184 per month in addition to attending demonstrations/protests/etc. But again, that's in the future, at least 5 months or so. For a few years now, I've been trying to at least educate myself and stomp out any internalized biases and bigotries and be a good ally to people I have privilege over, but there's always more to learn and I always feel like I'm missing something and being a shitty person. I understand there is no such thing as a perfect ally, but I'm always worried I'm doing something horribly wrong and I'm not even an imperfect ally (which, to be honest, I know I am because of my inaction). Even when I do start doing more via mutual aid and attending protests/demonstrations/etc, I feel like that's too little esp because I need to make up for my stagnation that I've had for the first 17 years of my life. For the past few years since I was like, idk, 13(?) when I became more "politically aware" or whatnot, I haven't really done anything other than reblog political posts and boost mutual aid requests. I read your post about ppl needing to do more bc that isn't enough (in relation to the UK passing a large anti-trans bill) so now I've been spending basically all my time thinking about ways to do better. I've spent the last 2 hours (it's now past 6am, whoops) trying to reword this ask to be less emotionally charged and trying to avoid coming off like "the reason I'm not a good person is because I can't be a good person :(((." I promise that that's not how I'm trying to come off. I've been trying to put a guide together for myself so I can be a better person, but I'm honestly really struggling with it because I'm always thinking about how I am undoubtedly missing something/there's no way I can be perfect/there might be someone who I otherwise agree with and respect over their beliefs and actions who might think I'm a horrible person/there might be inherent flaws in my logic/I might be completely missing the mark entirely with my entire belief system. Which, in all, is causing me to write this ask to try and get some advice.

Basically, overly complicated backstory out of the way, I was wondering if you had a guide or just general advice on what I should be doing, both now and in the future? If you see something wrong with my line of thought, please please please correct me (if you want) but also please be nice about it (as long as you believe I'm deserving of that respect. If I'm being completely bigoted and completely off the mark I'm aware im not entitled to that respect and it's completely fair if you want to cuss me out).

Thanks for taking the time to read this/sorry for the hassle.

i guess you have to stop looking at it like being a good persona and think more about what you can do for the world you live in. i get upset a lot about how performative a lot of activism is, but it already sounds like youre doing things in your local community. spreading awareness IS super important, your club does fundraisers, and you dont need to spend your money on causes like this. its encouraged and amazing but its not the end all be all, either.

i would highly recommend continuing to work in your local community. if you have anywhere local that needs help, like a rape crisis center or a homeless shelter, raising money or volunteering or donating what they need is always appreciated. you cant always fix everything elsewhere, but we can all try to fix things around us, and thats important too.

overall, wanting to get more engaged is super admirable! keep with that attitude and stay cool

[no-stupid-questions-official]

hi. i figured i would get less antagonistic answers Here vs on Reddit (where i was told to ask about this). i work at the Mart of Walls (iykyk) and we had a coach transfer from another department who is dead-set on firing people. i work on the front end, and run both registers and self-checkout depending on the day. when i work in SCO, i am supposed to be following the rule "greet, help, thank" which i have been doing quite well.

however, the new coach has decided that i'm not doing good enough at this, despite saying "hello" and "have a good day" to EVERY customer AT THE BARE MINIMUM. she tells me that my body language is unwelcoming, even though i am autistic and cannot help it, which i explained to her, but she doesn't care. she also accused me of being on my personal (non-work) phone, which i had used to check my schedule and text my dad about a ride to the doctor's office. team leads, coaches, and other associates use phones ALL THE TIME, but it's ONLY an issue if i do it. so she's basically accusing me of "just standing there looking at my phone" when i'm talking to people more than just about ANY associate who works in SCO. my team leads have said i'm one of the best workers they've ever had and say so proudly. the coach is quite literally the only one who has an issue with what i'm doing.

i felt like this was out of nowhere, and then i heard a rumor going around that the new coach wants a fresh, clean slate and wants to start mass-firing people. TWO of my team leads confirmed this, and i'm positive the other two would confirm it too if i got the chance to ask them. the coach is threatening their jobs too so they are also scared. so this is not ungrounded. i have solid testimony that this is, in fact, what is happening. everyone is scared.

i've worked here for a year and have overcome so many physical and mental obstacles to get to this point. my coworkers wrote a card for me and gave me cupcakes on my 1-year anniversary and they said ive improved more than anyone theyve ever seen. it sounds fake but i truly felt like i belong with these people and they don't bully me (minus ONE of the team leads) and we truly consider each other friends. i'm successful at my job, i'm very very good at it. i can't lose it now. on top of that, i'm going back to school to get into a medical field, and i own a house (yes. a house. my payments are like 700/month WITH bills bc of where i live) and i have a cat to take care of. i have so many expenses to deal with until i can finish my education, and i CANNOT lose my job now.

i reported this claim to the ethics department with a LENGTHY letter, PLEADING them to take a look at this because my job, and EVERY single one of my front-end coworker's jobs are being threatened. but my question is, finally, is there ANYTHING i can do about this? like, how to avoid getting fired, how to protect myself in the future if i AM fired, how to get the company to pay attention, how to put a stop to this in general?

any advice is appreciated i'm freaking out so bad lol

-

[strqyr]

ozpin questions blake after the events at the docks about her past education, where she got her training—blake didn't get training in any of the many combat schools, yet she passed the entrance exam with flying colors; "i was raised outside the kingdoms. if you can't fight, you can't survive." "well, you have most certainly survived."—and also revealing he knows blake is a faunus.

"how did you know the white fang would be at the shipyard tonight?" / "i didn't. i just happened to be at the right place at the right time." / "you wouldn't have been the first. but what happened tonight was not an isolated incident. i may be your headmaster, but i am also a huntsman, and it is my sworn duty to protect this world from the forces that conspire against it. blake, are you sure there is nothing else you would like to tell me?"

("the queen has pawns" says the message qrow sent to ozpin at the end of V1, while ozpin is looking at the live footage from the shipyard; from forces that conspire against it -> he's gathering information about salem's plans and if blake is involved.)

raven and qrow grew up outside the kingdoms, and survival is important to raven especially. eventually, they were sent to attend beacon, and they had to pass the entrance exam: "the entrance exam was a child's play compared to what we'd already been through. we were good. so good, that we caught the attention of beacon's very own headmaster, professor ozpin. even after we were put on a team, i could tell he was keeping an eye on us. back then, i though it was because he knew, but it was team strq he was interested in."

i think ozpin knew, considering that the tribe is called the branwen tribe and raven & qrow weren't exactly subtle with their surname pick, and they likely didn't have any paper trail to any of the combat schools, just like blake; what's especially interesting here is that ozpin took note of them already during the entrance exam, before team strq was even a thing.

especially since salem has no issues with working with bandits (unlike cinder, who objected to it); the few men tock had with her also looked pretty bandit-like, so there's precedence to salem getting bandits to do her dirty work, if necessary.

which kinda makes me wonder... was ozpin suspicious of raven and qrow just bc they were bandits in general (understandable), or did he have more reason to believe something was up bc the branwen tribe had worked with salem—unknowingly or not—before?

[alpineshift]

sorry i was scrolling back thru ur asks and saw u mention a jacknico college campus crush au…. do u have any further thoughts on how they would meet if jack went to uni 👀

ohhh campus crush jacknico!!

I can offer up some options!!

"In every universe we'll find each other doing the exact same thing" - they meet on a hockey team lmfao

Because it's so so convenient. Jack was always destined to go into hockey and in this verse he decides to follow in Quinn's footsteps and happily goes to college with his older brother. I'm not super duper familiar with the Swiss education system but I'm envisioning Nico transferring over and even though he's older he starts school in the same year as Jack. They're rookies on the hockey team together and the become the bonded rookie pair and it's all eyes on them because that's Quinn Hughes' younger brother and that's Nico Hischier the hot European student but meanwhile jacknico are crushing on each other. Thinking the other is the campus crush who definitely won't like them back bc they're too cool. Featuring copious amounts of time spent working out and admiring each other, house parties where they get close but not too close, trying to balance hockey life and school life and being in loveeeee--argh!

"Classic jock and nerd set up bc even though we're not in high school anymore we are still very capable of failing classes" - one of them tutors the other

In honour of my love for Jack's big brain and his 20+ book count a year he's the highest-ranked student in his program in this verse. Maybe in business or statistics or management or something. He seems like a logical kinda guy to me. And Nico, who's not a bad student at all, just happens to need tutoring because he really, really doesn't get this one particular class. They get matched up completely by chance and it's not quite crush at first sight, because Jack is kinda wary of the jock-type and Nico is a bit intimidated by how aloof Jack is, but the warm up to each other pretty quick and soon they're getting along like a house on fire. Because the best part is, Jack is also an incredibly good athlete--he's just too busy stockpiling extra credit courses to join any sports teams. And Nico is smart--he just needs a better study technique. Plenty of late night study seshs in the library and walking each other back to their dorms while sneaking looks at each other while the other is distracted in this verse.

"Missed connections, except we're both treating the campus forum like our personal text messages and the admins are about to ban us both so let's figure out a way to meet" - falling in love over the absurdity of campus life

Jack and Nico have never lived a normal day in this verse, because that's exactly how they catch each other's attention on campus. Nico's sitting in an upstairs study room when he sees his really handsome guy sprinting across the quad being chased by a furious horde of geese and kind of gets heart eyes with the way his hair shines in the sun as he's running for his life. Jack's waiting for the bus on a particularly windy day and sees a TA run straight into the campus pond bc the elastic around his assignments broke and everything scattered into the water and he has to physically close his jaw when the man merges from the pond with a white t-shirt clinging to his chest and abs. And the flood gates open from there. Hey - you were the guy with the beautiful blue eyes that walked out of the campus cafe and immediately got your croissant snatched out of your hands by a seagull. If you want to hang out, I'll definitely buy you another one. Okay - you were the handsome guy doing your best to put a raincoat over your suit and avoided the puddles in your dress shoes during that storm (presentation or something, bud?) only for a delivery truck to drive by and splash you from head to toe. If we meet, I'll hold the umbrella up for you. Each post gets thousands of likes and the admin is begging them to just find a the least dangerous starbucks in town to meet in at this point.

[ghoooooooooooooooost]

i only shared it w a friend before but can i tell you all my death mark 2 au/rewrite... here (spoilers obvi, also body horror + insects warning)

(edited so theres more details smile)

most things r the same except for the departed (and no naked girl cgs OFCOURSE)

making it so that the departed pretends to be daimon instead of the two high school girls

normal daimon is around but he’ll gradually get sick n every now n then something weeeeird happens (as in yashiki accidentally talks to fake daimon. also maybe you see the weird bug ghost that hovers above everyone near endgame with him first)

crowbar scene happens w fake daimon while real daimon is actually passed out somewhere. mashita comforts yashiki n then they both realize its a fake

(that's what these doodles were referencing)

my dearest friend chip suggested the departed could also be konoe so n that would make sense n make him more present in the plot so byeah

we both agreed that they didn't push the bug + mold horror theme far enough so i tried my hand at it. mold can be really gross irl ewwww

my design for departed daimon is actually toned down from the og tho, just bc i thought the weird spider face was more goofy than scary. personally bugs are scary to me when they're crawling on you n burrowing into your skin n making holes n laying eggs in there - like the bees in death mark 1. there was some real-stories tv show abt that specific thing happening that aired when i was a kid n it freaked me out a lot

why was hime's mold just ourple swirls boooriiiiiiiiiiiing

/

edit july 15th 2024 adding this into the main og post since wonderful chippard linked it (basically a neater rewrite of everything i just said + what i said in the reblog addition. i rewrote it for a solo zine hence the proper capitalization lol)

Instead of Himeko and Michiho being The Departed, it’s Daimon and Konoe. Normal Daimon is still there but every now and then he’ll start acting strange or feeling sick due to The Departed’s possession. The “love” aspect would be shown through Daimon specifically too so Doctor Duo ship is canon in this. Konoe basically uses Daimon to try to get to his Dear Husband. In place of going into a coma like in the original, his behavior intensifies and condition worsens until he suddenly runs to the bathroom. When he comes back… dun dun dun… that’s The Departed – Yashiki doesn’t know…! Crowbar scene ensues. But!? After Yashiki tells Mashita, they see Daimon perfectly alive in the infirmary. Yasuoka found him collapsed in the hallway at some point.

The plot would play out basically the same with some changes (no fanservice girl cgs; more Konoe screen-time; Michiho + Himeko act differently; Saki or Abe partner? more school-related ghosts...).

Maybe the game could be longer to give the new characters more time to shine while not removing the returning ones. Not sure how that would work exactly… One possible solution would be to have day segments where we get to play as Yashiki while he's actively teaching (which would also address the "why'd they even pick a school setting" problem bc damn they barely did any school specific plot shit outside of Hanako & Kashima). Would be awesome and in-line with how the first game brought up war if they kept addressing problems with the education system. Also I think I wouldn’t have any unavoidable human casualties after Hanako’s chapter? All the unavoidable deaths made my friends confused about if they were doing something wrong or not and it honestly felt off to me too. It would be compelling if after failing to protect the first student(s), Yashiki actually successfully protects the rest of them in the good route. Making him feel like he’s become more steadfast after the first game and staying true to his word. Especially if Naomi survives in my opinion - ‘she almost dies but is spared if you make the right choices’ or something like that. She could even be in the room when Yashiki sings the school song.

Not sure how I'd make The Departed feel even more connected to the school... Maybe there's a romantic superstition popular among the students that's based off their "wedding ceremony" -- but it's innocent enough to not give away how they died.

[airenyah]

Get to Know Me Tag :)

was tagged by @telomeke, @ranchthoughts, and @callipigio <3

do you make your bed?

not usually. both in my room at my parent's flat and now in my own flat as well i don't have a couch to hang out on and so i tend to spend a lot of time in my bed during the day bc it's more comfortable there. why make my bed in the morning if i mess it up soon enough anyway? i'll only make my bed when i'm trying to feel/look neat (like for example when people who i don't really know come over)

what's your favourite number?

23! elementary school me was veeery creative in choosing this number.... (my birthday is on a 23rd) anyway this number stuck with me and now it's just part of my personality hahaha

what is your job?

i'm a uni student and i don't have a "fixed" job where i'm employed and get money every month, but i have been working at a specific theater every summer since 2022. this year i'm actually the official assistant director. the rehearsals haven't properly started yet, but i've already one or the other task for it. can't wait for june when we're finally starting with the rehearsals!!!!!!!

if you could go back to school, would you?

depends... compulsory schooling that they make you go through from age 6 to age 15?? HELL NO. adult education? catch me taking 434353 courses on 434353 things

can you parallel park?

i don't have a driver's license

a job you had that would surprise people?

i haven't had many jobs in my life and none of them seem very surprising tbh? if you know me, at least i've worked as a graphic designer before, but i don't see how that would be surprising. also, i'm sure that i've mentioned this a few times in my tag ramblings

do you think aliens are real?

i don't think aliens are real but i also don't think aliens are not real. basically, i don't think aliens exist in the way they are depicted in movies, but if nasa came up to me and told me they found some sort of life somewhere else in the universe i'd be like "yeah i'll believe that". the universe is so vast, so it wouldn't surprise me if there really is something out there, but i don't really think about it tbh

can you drive a manual car?

as i said, i don't have a driver's license. but if i did, the answer would be yes. bc as a european you WILL be taught to drive a manual car at driving school. you could also choose to learn how to drive an automatic car, but that's really the exception to the rool. besides, idk what it's like in other countries, but in austria you're allowed to drive manual cars only if you got your license with a manual car. so getting your license with an automatic car limits your options quite a lot

what's your guilty pleasure?

i don't really feel guilty about my pleasures?? i don't always tell people that i'm really into thai bl, but that's less about feeling guilty and more of a "know your target audience" kind of thing.

tattoos?

nope. my brother has a couple of tattoos and he'd love it if i got one (i think he'd like to have a matching tattoo with me), but i can't do needles. but if i ever did get a tattoo, it would probably be something related to sicily. my brother actually has a tattoo of the trinacria

favorite color?

a really shiny dark blue and a really shiny darker red!

favorite type of music?

uhhhh.... good question?? i grew up listening to classical music and i still really like it, but i don't really listen to it anymore. these days i listen to pop music quite a lot? but that's also a very hit and miss for me, bc i tend to get overwhelmed easily with pop music. idk, just show me a song of any genre of music and i'll tell you if i like this particular song or if i dislike it my playlists tend to be full of song i have some kind of emotional connection too, though! so for example, songs that have been in series/movies that i watched or songs that my loved one's have/had in their playlists and that remind me of them, etc...

do you like puzzles?

i don't dislike puzzles, but it's not something that i would think to spend my time with

any phobias?

spiders!! i've had a phobia of spiders all my life. it's gotten a little better now, and how freaked out i am really depends on the size of the spider, where it is, if it's moving, and also how i'm feeling that day. the worst thing that could happen is a spider touching me in any way, so as long as i have enough distance between me and the spider and the spider is stationary, i'm good. i really dislike spiders right above my head, though i also have a phobia of needles. when i was 12 i had to get my blood drawn when i was sick once and i had a panic attack (or something along those lines). i've tried to avoid needles as best as i could ever since... and as a child i also had a fear of vomit. people vomiting still makes me uncomfortable, but at least i no longer run away and hide behind the door of my room hahaha

favorite childhood sport?

i've never been really athletic but i liked swimming!

do you talk to yourself?

in my own flat when i'm all by myself? yeah!

what movies do you adore?

der schuh des manitu is my problematic fave <3 apart from that, i also adore stardust and tangled and the emperor's new groove and i'm also up for marathoning high school musical, how to train your dragon, pirates of the carribean (1-3), and lord of the rings (extended edition of course) at any given point in time

coffee or tea?

tea!!!!! i LOVE tea!!!!! i had a cup of tea only an hour ago!!!! i'm not big on coffee, apart from a cappucino every once in a while which i also only drink when i'm in italy bc i just don't like it enough to spend 3-4€ on it in austria. coffee flavored things are mostly fine, but coffee as a beverage? not a big fan

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

i don't remember the first thing i wanted to be that wasn't a suggestion by my parents. possibly an actress????

tagging @newyearknwwme @moonkhao @visualtaehyun @celestial-sapphicss @cornflowershade @dimplesandfierceeyes @wack-overflow

as always, feel free to ignore!

[hawnks]

mints do you think its necessary to have some kind of education in order to be good at writing?

like im not saying ya gotta have a phd in english, but sometimes i feel really plain and like my ideas and styles are not complex bc i never had proper higher education even though im well into my 20s.

ive always loved learning and read a lot in my spare time, but school has always intimidated me and was a big source of anxiety so i never went back (also, no funds/time atm).

I just wanna write for a little audience like friends and moots, but even with them i get really self conscious in the end i dont let them into the worlds i curated for us. as if its not good enough to share so they stay tucked away in the wips folder forever.

any advice or consolation? sorry this got long and winded 😭 i appreciate you just reading this to the end tho ❣️🌷

As someone with two degrees in writing, let me tell you: you don’t need it.

When I lead workshops, I like to remind writers that they are capable of writing a Good Story as they are now. Do not hold the story you want to tell out of your own reach because you’re waiting for some nebulous future, where you are worthy of writing it.

It’s yours—it’s in your hands already.

It seems like you have some stuff written already, so my main question for you is: what are you asking of your work? Do you want more stories about your specific interests? Do you want fame? Do you want to find a community? Do you want to vent your deepest darkest secrets? Do you want to share your love of something?

Whatever it is you’re looking for, you can’t find it by hoarding what you make. I know moving forward is scary — but entropy is scarier.

[romanarose]

Tag game!

thanks for the tag my love @justagalwhowrites

do you make your bed? Only right before bed and i hate it. I have 4 blankets instead of a big one, and i need to get a comforter fr. I went to target to get one that was star wars but they wer eout! so I got a baby yoda rug lol

favorite number? 7! always has been. I was born in july (7) of 97, seven letters in my real name.

what’s your job? I keep this a little more private now after everything thats happened to me and others here, but also I do olive garden!

if you could go back to school, would you? Im almost done with my bachelors. Ive considered getting my masters in special education but one step at a time.

can you parallel park? uhhhh with enough room. Im not great but i can get it. If its tight squeeze probably not.

do you think aliens are real? Oh yeah. I am quite into the supernatural spheres with podcasts, i bleive in all sorts of things.

can you drive a manual car? god no i can barely drive my norml car

what’s your guilty pleasure? I was raised catholic all my pleasure is guilty

tattoos? 9 and 1/2. I have my eyesbrows microbladed bc I have ocd and tend to shave them off during an episode, plus they are blonde and my hair is usually dyed dark.

favorite color? burgundy and maroon!!!

do you like puzzles? sometimes? Not my go to but ill do them.

any phobias? I used to have a horrific fear of pigs, like send me into a panic attack it was really bad. somehow i got better? idk how i fixed it. I still think they are scary tho. Im scared of big dogs a lot bc i was bit, but i live with a big and a medium that are my roommates so idk if it counts as phobia. however, I have OCD and frankly i have think myself into a spiral about anything.

favorite childhood sport? I did bike racing competatively at a local thing. was pretty good at it, had a lot of fun.

do you talk to yourself? I feel like the only people who truly get me are me and bruce springsteen.

np tags! @whatthefishh @beefrobeefcal @ariundercovers @summonthesoups @winniethewife @sweetlummie @poeedameronn @shybluebirdninja

[gaybd1]

pls allow me to make a long life update ramble here bc im sick of irl people not understanding at all

I feel like I have a feel disconnected points to make

People like me aren’t meant to get bachelor’a degrees and we’re DAMN SURE not meant to get master’s

I’m 1000% just in survival mode right now and there’s theoretically a month left to go but idek if I’ll make it that long tbh

It has taken me YEARS to figure out a healthy/sustainable work-life balance that goes with my executive dysfunction but that’s NOT POSSIBLE working full time AND doing a degree

I’ve been feeling guilty for resting at all lately (and probably should) but yet if I don’t my health suffers majorly

It has always been hard for me to get simple things done, but now I can’t even THINK about simple necessary errands like walking to the supermarket or going to get a cell phone number or updating shit at the bank because ALL my energy goes to keeping me and my dog alive, keeping a job, and trying to stay in this program

I have delayed my transition by YEARS to pay for all this which was definitely the wrong call ughhhhh

I worked SO hard all of K-12 to get into a good university, when it came down to it didn’t even want to go, was too depressed to apply to hardly any, chose my best option still not knowing what I wanted to do but forced into it and forced to take out all of these loans when I didn’t even know what they meant.

Ended up never dealing with audhd shit, trauma shit, didn’t know what I was doing with my life, tried to get jobs to pay for school but couldn’t handle class and jobs at the same time so got more depressed until I stopped going to classes altogether and got kicked out

That would have been great for me tbh but I still didn’t know what else to do so I begged them to let me back in which they did and I ended up barely graduating with some pointless major I just chose to get me a degree. And also $80k of student debt I had no way to even comprehend knowing how to use

Didn’t know what to do after that either so I ended up in retail for a couple years before I got a random rare opportunity to get me out of there and doing what I always wanted

Well. I felt like I needed to make up for lost time degree-wise and ended up basically begging myself into this half-shitty program that culminates in this masters. I applied maybe five years ago, waited a little over two to start until I had money to pay for it (this is after fleeing the US and the 80k lmao) and somehow killed the first year of it.

I took another year and a half off trying to figure out the rest of the money which I eventually did and that’s how we end up here. I will hopefully have the degree in October but will still be paying for it the rest of the school year rip

So financially this sacrifice is obviously huge and on one hand I never thought I’d be able to do it so yay me and on the other hand I have NOT been able to pursue v v important trans stuff which I notice and deal with eVERY GODDAmn day thanks AND I will also probably not be able to make my every-18-month visit home next summer with my family which also gODDAMN SUCKS because family was EVERYTHING to me growing up and they’ve all forgotten it and probably think I have too but I miss those mfers so much and they would never buy a flight to come see me so.

ANYWAY yeah in undergrad I could NOT do a job and school at the same time so I’ve been proud of being able to handle it this time around but the last fourish months of this program are so intense and I am NOT handling it

Like I have done SO WELL up to now so I feel like I just GOTTA keep going but it’s SO HARD and I’m TOO STUPID and I’ve been told my whole life I’m not meant for higher education and now BOY DO I KNOW IT

I’m just trying to keep going. I order food and groceries to my house. I’m putting off super important errands and appointments as long as I can because I JUST CANT GET THERE I CANNOT WASTE SPOONS ON CELL PHONE PLANS RIGHT NOW I’m just trying to stay alive holy shit

I hate feeling so incompetent in my personal life especially because I’ve always put my professional life first out of like. Fear of losing it. and I KNOW this “laziness” is justified bc I’m spread so thin AND have executive dysfunction and a chronic illness but holy shit it still feels bad scoob. So fucking bad.

I think what I need to do is arrange time off work just to get this all sorted and finished but I’ve literally never taken a day off in my life so I’d feel bad and have MORE anxiety figuring out how to do it lololol ahhhhhhhh

[dykesynthezoid]

The talk about gen alpha kids being uniquely terrible students always confuses me bc on the one hand I’m not denying that the prevalence of screens and technology in our everyday lives has had a huge impact on kids, but on the other hand when people talk about how uniquely disrespectful or violent or entitled gen alpha kids are I’m like but are they actually??

I honestly think class might be part of it, bc I’ve both tutored and taught afterschool activities at public schools that were specifically in working class areas and that was not my experience at all. I mean yes there were absolutely kids who were disrespectful or difficult and could even be aggressive, but the underlying causes of those issues was always really clear to me. I could spot a kid who needed more support than they were getting really, really easily.

Every student who was really difficult with me very obviously had something going on that I just wasn’t qualified to help with (usually a learning disability or behavioral issue that stemmed from a specific neurodivergence that wasn’t being addressed, often exacerbated by issues with their homelife or economic situation).

The 5th graders could be especially snotty, but that feels par for the course frankly. Older kids approaching puberty tend to act out more bc they’re testing out the development of their own autonomy and personal freedom in a way younger kids haven’t quite reached developmentally. It’s a messy process just like actual adolescence is.

At the same time, so many of those kids of all ages were so sweet and so genuinely wanted to do well and socialize and improve their skills. And a lot of those kids also had some really difficult and heavy things going on. Most of them did have some kind of personal device at home like a phone or iPad, but I rarely had to tell students off for being on any sort of personal device. The kids who brought their phones with them were usually pretty good at keeping them put away. And the ones who weren’t were also ones who, again, had other underlying issues that had nothing to do with their technology use.

I’m sure there are plenty of terrible entitled iPad kids out there but to act like gen alpha students are all some doomed generation of little monsters is just really weird. I don’t think that reflects reality at all. I think we can have conversations about parental neglect and access to technology and entitlement without acting like children have never even approached being this difficult before. As if educators weren’t saying the exact same thing about Gen X 40 years ago! It all seems very silly to me. Like yeah educating kids has unique challenges these days but also maybe people who work with kids wouldn’t suddenly be convinced that gen alpha is uniquely terrible if they also had some actual support and decent pay. Maybe we’d be able to take a step back and see the bigger overarching patterns. Idk

[nomsfaultau]

Daily ask №21 (3 WEEK ANNIVERSARY WOO)

Education edition!

1. The fault crew get magically teleported to high school. To everyone else they appear as perfectly normal, definitely human, high school age students. Except Phil, he's a professor. Oh also the red is temporarily disabled. They also get a note from me apologizing for sending them into random situations so much and the info that they'll be there for one school day and they'll be teleported back when they exit the school after the school day ends. They also have backpacks with their timetables and any other normal schools stuff they might need. What happens?

2. What would each character's favourite subject be? Why?

3. How much experience does each character actually have with school/the education system?

4. Would Tubbo having dyslexia imply that dyslexia is a condition that affects the soul and not the brain? Considering the fact that I don't think they.. have.. a brain. Can they even get brain damage? Or bruises (doesn't have blood).

5. What would each character be a teacher of if they had to be a teacher?

1.Well Tommy is having the best day of his life making friends and chatting and goofing off. Everyone else is losing their minds. I don’t imagine they’d participate willingly given a major lack of familiarity and general chaotic upheaval, but we’ll assume magic reinforcement. 

Phil is pulling his hair out trying to fake lectures on the fly, but is pretty good once he gets into it. Honestly one of the better substitutes the classes have gotten, given I’ve dealt with neonazi subs in the past. He’s fun and nice but can wrangle everyone enough that they aren’t just feral. Philza is unflappable to various hazing rituals, and somehow gets a class to enjoy a brief meditating session like one of my coworkers managed once. Still don’t know how she got 10 year olds to beg to meditate again…

Tubbo is desperately trying to find a wheel chair so they don’t have to explain the flying thing. And then kinda adores it since it’s so much easier to get around and they’re way less tired than normal since constantly flying on a skeleton crew gives very little time to rest. Unforchie living in the woods makes wheelchairs impractical due to the terrain. They keep going hella fast and accidentally running into walls and stuff. Though it’s probably an awful model that is uncomfortable after a few hours rip. Other than that, becomes THE person for school gossip. Literally knows all the dirt within hours. Cheats their way through all tests and work too because come on they’re an adult they’re not dealing with this bullmuffin. 

Wilbur is mentally dying. He only knows forbidden knowledge and has never done proper math before. Its only understanding of social convention is stuff picked up in crowds and stores, only brief interactions to avoid further attention. Doesn’t understand literally anything that’s happening, and ends up ditching class to try and hide until the school day is over (no concept of how long that is). Starts stress eating really bad. 

The Blade is somewhat shy at first given it’s a bunch of people he doesn’t know, but gets into it. He’s having fun preforming way above grade level and rubbing it in the face of children. But also uuhsghsja in person school is so long and requires consistent attention in a way that is hellish on the adhd. He misses college schedule flexibility and fewer number of hours. 

2.The Blade likes mythology bc he’s a nerd. And also the voices have scraps of information from the past sometimes. Wilbur likes theater because it’s his natural calling. Philza likes science because it keeps evolving all the time and is really funny to compare to previous human theories on how stuff works. Tommy likes art. He’s not like good but he has fun. Tubbo’s a philosophy guy since omg other people with ethics…

3.Wilbur: zilch. Nada. Never really considered how humans seem to know stuff while he’s had to puzzle everything out. Is jealous when it realizes people are just told how to operate and function in society when it had to learn the hard way. 

The Blade: online classes, skimmed through K-12 stuff and then attended proper college. A proud dual major. 

Tubbo: has gone through the school system twice, plus law school. I think Rosalind was like a psychology major but didn’t do anything with it. Jasmine was in year one, and Rhodes gave Tubbo informal schooling. 

Tommy: a high school dropout because the Foundation got him before he could graduate. Was planning to go to college but wasn’t sure what degree to get. 

Philza: a bunch of weird stuff over the millennia. Not stuff really geared towards children, but I figure he’s dipped in with various philosopher and academic circles. I suppose most recently would be Dr. Anderson rambling about his archeology work, since Phil was a big help on his thesis. 

4.Nah not a soul thing at all. Bees have brains. And also very importantly, 2 compound eyes with 6,000 lenses and three ocelli (primitive light receptor eyes). Now that is a lot of images, though a bee brain does combine them like how we combine our two fields of vision. Except, Tubbo also has approximately 1 million eyes when at the 200k population, most of which is not looking at only the words before them. Plus most of those eyes are very very small compared to the letters. This all makes it rather hard for them to read, which Rhodes interpreted as dyslexia.  

Also fun fact only the insectoid body’s eyes can see the color red, since (to my understanding) light operates differently at a small scale so insects operate lower on the light spectrum (ultra violet to orange). But the insectoid eyes are way bigger so they can have human range too. Though Tubbo tends to call things that for them are in the orange range red since obviously when Rhodes was looking at red stuff that’s what he taught them it was. So also partially color blind, or color+ given the ultra violet. 

Tubbo could get temporary brain damage should the majority of bees get brain damage (probably difficult without killing them). But give them a month and those bees will all be dead and replaced. Potentially could get bruise like injuries from internal damage to honey cells, but they’d probably eat the spilled honey. 

5.Phil is a welding teacher because fire and invention. He helps kids make swords and whatever they can think of since he wants to foster human innovation. He can’t be a history teacher because what he has experience with is very spotty and he’d probably argue with the official version of history so much that all his students fail testing.

Wilbur is a gym teacher. Everyday is leg day. It loves designing weird challenges and games and honestly half the kids probably hate it. He always beats them on the mile, definitely not one of those gym teachers that sits and watches the kids exercise. 

Assuming the orphan thing isn’t a problem, The Blade is an English teacher. Preferably for middle schoolers since they’d really vibe with his edgy humor. Everything he grades is always three months late. 

Tommy teaches graphic design. It’s stuff like editing silly videos and photoshop nonsense. It’s very easy to get him off topic to avoid working that class period. 

Tubbo covers home ec with an emphasis on stuff like gardening. They always seem to know when people are acting up, like eyes in the back of their head but a million times worse. 

[wrdn-tabris]

May I hear about ur ocs pls? if u can't think of anything specific to say maybe say what their favourite colours are or what their favourite subject in school was?

YA OFC!!!!

theyre all from a world im basing loosely off jrpgs and mainly from elements from final fantasy, as well as raking some inspirations from the fabula ultima core rule book. so its got ur classic jrpg monsters and a lot kf stuff borrowed from ff, (chocobos…..). ive even got a little map im working on. the main ‘plot’ ig would be abt this revolutionary group rebelling against the empire thats ever expanding, and loosely centered around the ‘party’ of my ocs who are instrumental for thngs to come but thats neither here nor there and i havent gotten all the kinks worked out.

anyways. ocs!

kaine,

(this handsome mug)

was never rlly much of an a+ student. in his hometown where he grew up he tended to daydream a lot in class and not pay attention to. tho he did love phys ed. but when he and his family had to run from home and his adoptive uncle took him in- he didnt rlly continue on with any formal education. his uncle ofc made sure he could read and write and do basic math- but kaine was much more interested in helping to take care of his sister and learning how to fight until he was old enough to help out with his uncles business.

nico on the other hand had tutors and private classes due to their grandmother’s status in the govnt. nico was. also not a good student HDHDH just getting bad marks or daydreaming or being distracted in class. they loved when they got to read tho during school. stories as escapes and etc. tho nico wouldnt ever finish their schooling bc they ran away from home at like 16 (the second time they ran away. which this time it rlly stuck rather than being sent back.)

ive been posting a lot abt them on my side account @melxncholly if u wanted to see more :’)

and kaine’s favorite color is green and nicos is yellow !!