#it's already 5:30 here i should not stay but i gotta know what happens or i'm not gonna be able to sleep!!! 😭
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I wonder how many tags i can add on to this
#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30?#idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo#this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed#the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do.#i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg#but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count?#I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or#something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who#thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding#very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting#absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is#basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post.#why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags*#it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows.#where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since#i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li#type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to#be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell#'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one.#this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer#anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can.#which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi#whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23#except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang#i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue#i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan#to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone.#thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really...#...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though#would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y
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this dlc was created by committee to specifically drive me coo-coo bananas. and it's working pretty well.
#i'm just finished beating the elite four... now it's time to face kieran...#i'm gonna try making my team's levels out first before i face him tho#maybe go farm some cash so i can get vitamins & max out their evs too#but god the underlying sense of dread that's building within me is fucking crushing rn#bc wtf is gonna happen after i beat kieran what exactly is drayton planning wtf is going on w/ briar?????#it's already 5:30 here i should not stay but i gotta know what happens or i'm not gonna be able to sleep!!! 😭#mj.txt#sv dlc spoilers#indigo disk spoilers
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:+:-・:+:-・𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍:+:-・:+:-
ᴛᴀᴛᴛᴏᴏ ᴀʀᴛɪsᴛ ɢɪʏᴜᴜ x ғᴇᴍ! ғʟᴏʀɪsᴛ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
𝘾𝙒! 𝖦𝗂𝗒𝗎𝗎'𝗌 𝗉��𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗒 𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗒 𝖺𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅 𝖻𝖺𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾
“Hello!” You smiled as you walked in the tattoo parlour, holding a box. “I have a delivery?”
“Oh! Hi!” A pretty girl with one tatted arm of a swarm of butterflies smiled back. “Are those the African Violets?”
“Mhm! Got 5 small pots in it, just as requested.”
“Thank you so much! You can leave them on the counter, and I believe the manager already paid?”
You listened to the girl, gently dropping the box near the register.
“Eh? I was told I’d be paid in person after I delivered it.”
“Ah, I see! Please wait for a bit then, I’ll go get the manager.”
You nodded as the girl walked away. Looking around, you took in the sight of the parlour. The whole place was kept neat and you saw a few bottles of tattoo ink.
Looking at the posters on the wall, you wondered if you could also get one.
What would it be?
As cliche as it was, you wanted a flower tattoo. A pretty flower of any kind.
There are a lot of pretty flowers.
“Hello.” A man emerged from the back.
But he’s prettier than flowers.
“Kocho, the girl you saw here, reminded me about the payment.” There wasn’t an expression present on his face, but his demeanour was soft.
“It’s fine. Honestly, things like this happen.” You smiled softly.
The man cleared his throat.
“How much is it?”
“$30.”
“Do you take credit?”
You nodded as you took your phone out.
“Yup! Just scan this and we’ll be good to go!”
He unlocked his own phone before scanning the QR code you put up on your screen.
“Thank you for your purchase!”
You sprayed the small bonsai tree on your windowsill with a spray bottle, humming along to the soft music you were playing in the back. The door opened.
“Oh! Welcome!” You smiled warmly to the customer, just for a blush to rise to your face.
The handsome tattoo artist.
“Hey.” He scratched the back of his head. “I.. Uhm. I need to make a new purchase.”
“Of course! Please feel free to look around and take your pick! I’ll make sure to deliver it myself as well.”
To your surprise, he laughed softly.
“I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. I’d like to make a new purchase for you. I’d like to take you out to dinner.”
STAY CALM STAY CALM STAY CALM STAY CALM STAY CALM STAY CALM STAY CALM.
“Eh?”
“I don’t really like stalling.. you already should have my number on your order history. Just text me a ‘yes’ or ‘no’. If it’s ’no’, that’s fine. If it’s a ‘yes’, you can send me your address if you want me to pick you up. Be ready by 7:30 PM.” He smiled softly before putting his hands in his pockets, turning around to leave the shop.
“Wait!” You stopped. “How are you so confident I’ll come?”
He smiled. “You go on blind dates, right? Only difference is that you know what I look like.”
A small laugh came out of you.
“See you then, princess.”
A smile formed on your expression as you recalled the memory. You finished cutting the stems of your flowers and you started to arrange them.
You relocated your office. The store was still the same, but now, your office was in a different part. It was facing the tattoo parlour right across.
You could still remember how the parlour was once the size of a small grocery store, but now, it had undergone renovations and it looked better than ever. You counted 7 new clients.
My Love, you still ready for tonight?
You received a text.
Yep! Just gotta finish a small arrangement for a client who’s getting married soon
You got a response almost immediately.
That’s odd. I don’t remember proposing to you?
GIYUU
I’m kidding, Princess <3
You let out a small huff before smiling. Finishing the arrangement, you put it away at a safe spot in your office before grabbing your bag and walking to the other side of the road to the tattoo parlour.
You wanted to spend a little more time with Giyuu even though you were still going out for a date later that evening. Time just felt so beautiful when you were with him. A little unfortunately, you forgot your phone at your office and hence didn’t see the next two messages from him.
<<Image attachment>>
Heads up: I’m going to propose to you tonight with this ring. Don’t cry, okay? Just say yes or no. I’ll wait as long as it takes. I love you <3 get all dolled up for me, okay?
Ahhhh low-key hate this but I was desperate to upload smth T^T
I MIGHT rewrite this later bsjsjsjsjsj
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🚨 SPOILER FOR EPISODE 8 OF BURROW'S END!!!🚨
‼️POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR WHEEZING SOUNDS, FLESH TEAR SOUNDS, SCREAMING/CHITTERING SOUNDS AMONG OTHER UNGRATEFUL NOISES‼️
Dimension20 "Burrow's End"
Episode 8
Timestamp: 1:30:19
Video Length: 3min. & 47sec.
THE TAPESSSS!!! OMGGG!!! WHO WAS THE FIRST TO ATTACK!!! IT SEEMS LIKE THE STOATS WERE FIRST TO ATTACK?!!! THIS IS SO COOL BECAUSE THESE STOATS ARE NOW REALIZING THAT THEY'VE BEEN ON THE BAD GUYS TEAM THIS WHOLE ENTIRE TIME!!! AHHH!!! 😱😱😭😭✋✋
I can't believe Brennan just WALKED OUT AFTER THAT! I THOUGHT SOMETHING HAPPENED TO TULA AFTER THAT! BUT NOPE! IT WAS JUST BRENNAN BEING SHOOK AFTER AABRIA'S DISPLAY AND FEELING BEATEN BY HER AND HER AMAZING PRODUCTION!!! 😂😂🤣🤣💀💀✋✋ THIS IS TRUE FEAR FR!!! EVEN BRENNAN HIMSELF CALLED THIS SCARY!!! 😭😭✋✋ OOF! "NEVERAFTER" WAS A WALK-IN-THE-PARK COMPARED TO THIS SEASON FR! 😭✋ THE TRUE HORROR SEASON LITERALLY!! 😭😭✋✋
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1st Tape: [Wenabocker] "I've actually never used one of these before. How does it- just gotta- Hello, my name is Robert Wenabocker. I'm the lead engineer here at Warren Peace Memorial Nuclear Power Plant. Hey guys, give me five minutes. I just got to log it. The time is currently 18:48, and at approximately 5:17 today, this facility registered a Loss of Coolant Accident in Reactor Charlie. At 11:20, all plant personnel were notified via intercom, and of course- (tape clicks)
2nd Tape: [Wenabocker] Hello, this is Dr. Wenabocker. It is 4/21/62 at 8:11. (repeating alarm sounding) The LOC logged on the 18th has proven difficult. Our structural engineers have noted significant integrity loss surrounding Reactor Charlie. Now, this integrity loss may result in repeated incidents of increased severity if left untreated. We are not doing that. We are handling things now with the repair materials on hand, and we should have this remedied within the we-. (tape clicks)
3rd Tape: [Wenabocker] (alarm continues, even louder) I don't care, I want two teams down there right now! Following on the official urgent materials request submitted. All signs, all signs are pointing to sabotage. This is a matter of national security! If we can't fix this- (tape clicks)
4th tape: [Wenabocker] It is 2:22, two hours post order of a full evacuation of Peace Plant by Director Simms. I stayed behind, since I'd already been um...I stayed in hopes we'd get a call from the outside with some idea on how to avoid a full core meltdown. But the cables on our comms are destroyed. Chewed through. You know, earlier this week, my team joked that evil spirits were behind all of this. As a man of science, you know, I...Hello? (creatures chittering) The facility has been evacuated. You need to- (tape clicks)
5th tape: [Wenabocker] (Wenabocker hyperventilating) (creatures chittering) There are five weasels. I don't know how they're doing it. I don't know what's happening. (glass breaking) No! No! (creatures chittering) (flesh tearing) (Wenabocker wheezing) (Wenabocker gasping for air) They're all so sneaky...
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THIS IS CRAZY INSANE AND I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE WORK THAT WAS PUT INTO THIS AMAZING SEASON! CARLOS LUNA DID SUCH A GREAT JOB! AABRIA SLAYS! THIS IS CRAZY AND FANTASTIC!!! DIMENSION20 HAS SUCH A PHENOMENAL CAST AND CREW!!! THEY CAN DO ANYTHING!!! THE SKY'S THE LIMIT HERE FR!!! ✋✋🫶🫶❤️❤️
#NO- BUT THIS IS SO TERRIFYING!#CARLOS LUNA! WHAT THE FRIK?!#WHAT IS THIS?!#carlos luna#dimension 20#dimension20#blog#burrow's end#burrow's end scene#burrow's end episode 8#Dimension20 scene#Dr. Wenabocker#The TAPES#aabria iyengar#THIS IS WILD FR!
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Masterclass in Denial
Jeff Winger x reader
Part 4 of 5
The 4 times you and Jeff denied your feelings for each other and the 1 time you couldn't.
Troy, Abed, Annie, and Pierce were all down with the flu. Pierce went straight to the state's best hospital and booked their biggest room, a maternity suite to be specific, equipped with a jacuzzi tub, kitchen, and a California king size hospital bed. Meanwhile, Troy, Abed, and Annie were all cooped up in their tiny apartment. Y/n tried avoiding, what she was calling, their den of disease, but caved when Abed stuffed up and raspy called begging for her homemade chicken noodle soup. She knew they planned it that way. Annie and Troy she could ignore, but everyone felt the parental urge to care for Abed.
Y/n sighed through her cloth mask, shifting the giant pot of soup to her hip, and knocked on their apartment door. She was surprised to see Shirley on the other side. Shirley's skin was flushed, her nose and eyes red.
"Oh thank goodness you're here!" She shuffled back into the apartment, shouting orders over her shoulder. "They all just took cold medicine, I stocked up on tissues and Lysol, the humidifier will need to be refilled in an hour or so..."
Y/n wide eyed and hesitant, followed Shirley into the kitchen. "They're all in the living room, the boys have lost their cough drop privileges -don't ask- Annie is not allowed to have the Flonase doctor's orders, and keep an eye on Britta, she keeps trying to smoke in the bathroom."
" Wait, Britta?" Y/n was already overwhelmed. Shirley continued rummaging around the apartment, she grabbed her purse. " Yeah, Abed had her bring them pizza, then they all convinced her to stay for a movie, and now she's just as sick as them. Good luck"
Shirley passed a final look at their surroundings, gave a quick nod and headed for the door.
"Shirley, wait where are you going?"
"I've been here the last two days, and the school just called, my kids caught the flu as well. I gotta go home and take care of my actual babies." And with that, she was out the door.
Panic
"Shirleyyyyyyyyy, can you bring me a water?"
"Me too, and another box of tissues?"
"The humidifier stopped working. ''
They were all so stuffed up, and raw voiced, Y/n wasn't sure who had asked what.
" Shirley, I know what the doctor said, but I can't breathe. Where is the damn nasal spray? " Well, that one was Annie.
Y/n glanced longingly at the door, then made her way to her newly acquired patients. The usual living room set up had been pushed to the side. Instead, there were mattresses, blankets, and pillows in a mess of the floor. Along with four of her friends, all in various states of infirm.
"Ob, hi Y/n. Where's Shirley?" Annie sitting on the floor propped up on pillows against the wall. Her hair was mused, forgotten tissues sticking out of her sleeve and shirt collar, her usual pale skin amped up to a ghostly white.
"Uhhh, she left." Y/n kept as much distance from her infectious friends while taking their seemingly endless order of requests, before speeding back to the kitchen. She doled out bowls of soup, while frantically scrolling through the contacts on her phone.
"Hello sunshine."
"Jeff! Jeff, I need your help. I'm over at the kids apartment, they're ALL sick, Jeff, all of them! Shirley just bailed on me! I need you to come over and help me!"
"Yeahhhh, that's not going to happen. I got tickets for the playoffs this weekend, I'm not going anywhere near them."
Y/n puffed out her cheeks. There was no way she could handle this herself. Should she bribe him? Bargain? Beg? Threaten...? That could work.
"Jeff, I swear to whatever bullshit you believe in that if you're not here in the next 30 minutes, I will dedicate my life to stalking you. And every time you go out on a date, I will show up, and ruin your date worse than I did for Starburns, you'll never get laid again. Every. Single. Date." Y/n didn't wait for a response, "You have 30 minutes. " She hung up.
27 minutes, and five trips to and from the living room later, there was a knock at the door.
Hour's later, the two of them sat on the floor of the kitchen, chests heaving, protective gear long discarded, hands permanently pruned from excessive hand washing throughout the night. They were all finally asleep, the four of them had run them both ragged. None of them had the same symptoms at the same time. One needs the humidifier, another complains it's too humid, one needs the tv on to be able to sleep, one says it's too loud, it's too bright, turn up the heat I'm freezing, no open a window it's a million degrees in here, can I have a water, where are the tissues, Troy threw a cough drop at me, stop breathing on me, will you make us tea, this tea is minty I wanted chamomile, is there any soup left?
More than once Y/n had to stop Jeff from giving them extra codeine . But It was finally quiet, and they were starting to get better. Before they fell asleep Annie took herself to her bedroom, and Abed had gotten himself a drink on his own.
Y/n's back ached as she rose to hobble around the kitchen picking up the mess and setting up medication and snacks for the group to easily grab after she went home. After stepping over Jeff's outstretched legs for a third time, she kicked his foot to get his attention.
"Come on, help me dry the dishes, then hopefully we can sneak out before they wake up again."
Jeff groaned and stretched, before following her to the sink, grumbling "I hate you."
She smile and winked at him, "love you too."
Y/n was jolted awake by incessant knocking. It had been two days since the nursing shift from hell, and she had since succumbed to the flu. The masks, disinfectant, gloves, and hand washing didn't stand a chance against the four harbingers of pestilence. Unlike her younger friends she had prepared. After she left the group, she went straight to the store and stocked up on everything she would need if she fell ill. She had just dozed off watching TV in bed when the unwanted visitor made their presence known. The knocking continued as she dragged her sore body to the door.
"I'm coming!" She rasped reaching for the handle.
Standing in her doorway was Jeff, clad in sweats, a blanket, with two tissues shoved up his nostrils.
"This is your fault." Was his greeting as he brushed past her and made his way to her kitchen.
"They infected you too, huh." Y/n shut her door and followed him, opting for a cup of tea, while he dug through her fridge.
"No, YOU infected me." He growled, "I should be at Ball arena tailgating, drunk off my ass, but instead because of you, I'm at deaths door. And since this your fault, I'm going to make this your problem." Finding a bottle of vodka, he slammed the refrigerator door, and turned to glare at her.
Y/n rolled her eyes, earning her an instant headache. She took the vodka out of his hands.
"That's only going to make you feel worse." She sighed, she knew she could simply kick his dramatic ass out and go back to sleep, but she did feel partly responsible. He looked worse than she felt, his eyes were puffy and red, the skin around his nose was chapped and inflamed, the short walk into her house was enough to stir up a wheeze in his chest. She knew she didn't have the gall to go through with. "Go sit, I'll get heat us up some soup."
They watched TV in her bed as they ate, and dozed off shortly after. Y/n's snoring woke Jeff up a couple hours later. He was in disbelief at how quickly he was feeling better. He watched Y/n as she slept, her mouth open, a string of drool pooling on to her pillow, her face was damp with sweat, he brushed the hair off her forehead and pressed the back of his hand to it. She was burning up. He eased out of bed, and gathered up her next round of medicine, fresh water, and a cold compress. Stroking her hair, he gently woke her up. Y/n whined and pulled her blanket over her head.
"Come on sunshine you need to take these." His voice was soft, he tugged the blanket back, holding out his hands to help her sit up. Her hair was stuck to the sweat on her forehead again, eyelids heavy, he could hear her stuffed up nose whistle. Anyone else he would find revolting, but even now he still found her beautiful.
Y/n threw the pills back, and took a slip of water. She narrowed her eyes at him.
"Why do you look so good?"
Jeff cheeks warmed. "You think I look good?"
She chuffed. "You know what I mean, how come you don't look like shit anymore?"
"Guess your soup worked it's magic." He shrugged, climbing back into bed he pulled Y/n into his arms, tucking the blanket around her. She tensed, but quickly relaxed into his embrace. His warmth comforting her aching muscles.
" Wait, your game, you could still make it!" She struggled in his grasp to turn at look at him. He held her tighter, turning the tv back on.
"Traffic'd be a nightmare, and this is much more comfortable than the stadium." He rested his chin on the top of her head, settling her back down against him, barley a minute had passed before her soft snores assured the end of that conversation.
Part 5
#abed nadir#annie edison#britta perry#community#jeff winger x reader#jeff winger x y/n#jeff winger x you#joel mchale#pierce hawthorne#shirley bennett
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𝑩𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝑰 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒀𝒐𝒖
Pairing: Ram x wife!reader
Summary: you always try to remain calm during those days but your husband knows how to pamper you even if you don't show it, but you're not complaining too.
Genre: fluff, periods comfort
Warnings: periods, cramps, slight cursing cause of the pain
Word count: 2.8 k
Notes: this is my first fic and yes I'm so embarassed, it's not proofread so pls pls pls bare with me. Just in the afternoon I was suffering with cramps so i decided to write this and guess what I suffered more...almost had a crisis wondering would i actually finish it today. If you're reading, i lobe you soo much *mwah*.
You felt something uneasy in your sleep as you shuffle in your bed trying to go back to sleep, since you knew it's still too early for you to wake up. No matter what you did, nothing worked atlast waking you up.
You opened your eyes to see the time on the clock hanging right infront of your bed, it was little bit dark you couldn't see exactly what time is it but through your blurry vision you make our that it's 4am.
Sighing you decided to go to the bathroom to check if it's really what you think it is. Before moving out of the bed you eyes drifted towards your husband's sleeping body, oh how peacefully he was sleeping. You didn't even want to turn the lights on now since you know he's already a light sleeper. Ram's tranquilly sleeping,lost in his dream world made you smile a bit forgetting that how annoyed you were that you couldn't sleep anymore now.
Not wanting to disturb your dear husband you made your way towards the bathroom as you pull back your pallu over your shoulders. It was a bit chilly but still a sweet cold sensation was touching your skin, i could've enjoyed this only if i didn't wanted to sleep a bit more, you thought to yourself.
Pushing the bathroom door open you stepped inside, tugged your saree up in your skirt as you closed the door.
"Aah shit, here we go again…why god?", you knew your prayers won't help stop your periods and those nasty cramps. Sighing and mentally preparing yourself for the upcoming 5 days suffering plus doing the household work, it's gonna be one hell of a bloody ride.
You have always tried to stay calm trying to busy yourself with the household work during period. Not wanting to bother anyone but your husband, Ram, he had always told you to rest as he would always try to help you cope with the pain.
You came back to your room. Your were glad to see him still sleeping as you made your way towards the wardrobe to get your pads. It took you another 30 minutes since you also decided to get showered too.
Now you're standing in front of the mirror getting ready for the day with your wet hair still tied in your red cotton towel, knowing oh so well you gotta survive the nasty cramps still wanting to keep a straight and calm expression.
Normally you could have gone to your Pooja room by now but you can't today so you decided to wake Ram up a bit early so he could do the pooja today but there's still time left for him to wake up so you decided to first to prepare the breakfast.
Entering the kitchen, you started preparing the ingredients.
"Ahh..mmm…fuck this hurts so bad" you shrieked in pain while doing your work. " Oh lord, just a little less pain would help, please….mmm….ufff damn cmon" you sighed as you felt the pain getting a bit less as you continued your work.
It's already 6 am, i should wake him up,you thought to yourself as you made your way towards your the bedroom only to find the bed empty and your husband is nowhere to found. Did he already woke up… you walked towards the bathroom, the lights were on inside and there was a sound of running water. This was enough to let you know he was already awake.
"You woke up early today?" he said making his way towards you while rubbing his wet hair with a towel.
You just nod while sitting sitting on the wooden sofa in the drawing room.
"Why, what happened is there something today?" he asks sitting beside you as you shifted away from him leaving him astonished. "Hey what happen-", "I need your favour" you stated cutting him off mid sentence.
"Will you please to the pooja today?" you asked as he regain his normal expression. "Sure I will, but are you ok, is there anything you wan-", "first do the pooja, you know you can't touch me before the pooja".
He just nodded. Ram was quick to tell that you're on your periods and there's no good for him asking you more questions now.
As he left to the pooja room, you made your way towards the kitchen to make the tea for the both of you. Your and his taste in tea were coincidentally the same. You liked it with more milk and sugar and Ram seemed like a person who would like a strong tea but he was more towards the way you had your too. Your were truly shocked to know he also likes his tea with more milk and sugar in your early marriage, maybe a little dash of malai (cream).
You tried to divert your mind but the cramps were hella stubborn. "Aahh..uh shit" you hold on to the kitchen counter as you pressed your lips onto each other to minimise the pain but it didn't help.
"Hey, are you ok?" you felt your husband's hand on your waist on the side which wasn't covered with your saree. You shook your head to no.
"A-are you d-done with p-", he knew what were you about to ask just as he carried you bridal style and start making his way towards the hall. "W-what are you doing? put me down, the tea!" you stated as you now you clutched you hands on his shirt.
"Taking care of my wife and the tea, I'll bring it so you just lay down and let me take care of you", he put you down on the wooden sofa placed in the centre of the hall. He made you lie flat on your face, facing the sofa.
You felt his hands on your back, massaging smoothly. "Feels good, dear wife?", you hummed as a reply. He knew exactly what makes you feels relaxed at times like this.
You felt his hands in you your feet as you looked back, "n-not my feet, hey it's fine you don't have to massage under my feet honey" you said showing an expression of uncomfortableness but little did you know he won't listen since he's determined to take care of his wife before leaving for his work. He knew that rubbing under your feet makes you feel good during periods.
"Don't worry my sweetheart, I know it feels good, isn't it? Plus if you're worrying about me touching your feet than don't cause you're my better half and i don't have any problem doing it" he stated calmly with a smile over his face as his eyes meet with yours telling you to just relax and let him do it.
"The tea, it must be cold by now" you stated as you suddenly remember that you left it in the kitchen since Ram said that he'll bring it later.
"Don't worry, I'll reheat it but first you tell me are you feeling ok now, I'll do massage you more if you want" he asked showing concerned to you.
"I'm fine now, you can you bring the tea now" you affirmed as he nodded and stood up to walk towards the kitchen.
5 minutes later he showed up from the kitchen not just the tea but with the breakfast."Oh god i totally forgot to serve you breakfast,maati maari gai hai meri aaj" you spoke as you palmed your forehead."Hey it's alright, i wasn't hungry anyways and how can I think about food when my has no appetite, huh bec-", "because I'm your other half, i get it Pati dev, now let's just eat cause i don't know about you but I'm hungry" you completed his sentence.
He chuckled. After few minutes later you realised that it's time for him to leave for the police station. You stood up to take the utensils in the kitchen but then he stopped you and pulled you onto his lap.
"W-what are you doing again, you know you'll get late if-" your stopped talking as you feel him nuzzle his face inti your neck from behind.
"Don't worry wifey, i won't get late" he stated as you could feel his hot breath on you neck, with this you decided to let this moment sink the both of you. Afterall you also needed him even if you don't show it always.
Few minutes together before you have to push him away to get ready to leave for work.
"I wish I could stay longer with you but please take care of yourself and you call call me on the office phone if you need anything, ok ?" he stated before giving you a kiss on your forehead.
"Sure my dear husband, I will call you and only you if I need anything" you affirmed him with a gentle smile, "also Pati dev, thankyou so much for the massage, try to come early tonight. I'll miss you" with your statement Ram chuckled a bit. "Ofcourse I will, how can I not accept my beautiful wife's order as an obedient police officer" he assured you before leaving for the police station.
You were smiling at his little joke as you waved him goodbye.
Entering the house again you checked it's 7 am, so there's another 15 hours for him to return at around 10 pm in the evening and you already miss him.
You sighed as you made your way inside the bedroom, there wasn't much work to do so you decided to take a nap.
Normally you'd cook lunch for him and send it through an office boy or sometimes you'll pay him a visit with the lunch but today Ram banned you to do anything as he said that he'll have the lunch from the police canteen.
With so many random thoughts about your husband and your future, you never knew when did you fell in a deep slumber. Maybe it's because you wake up early everyday and still have enough strength to stay awake all day but today your body needed rest as it doesn't seem to wake up anytime soon.
You wake up with a loud knock on your main door as you try to make out how much time has passed since you have been sleeping.
"Oh my god! It's almost 5 pm!" your eyes widened realising you have been sleeping for that long. You made your way towards the door hearing the banging."Whoever it is, they are one hella of an impatient person" ,you mumbled to yourself. "Aai baba, darwaja hi tor doge kya" you opened the door to see your favourite brother also Ram's best friend, Bheem.
"Bheem bhaiya! it's you, please come in, kaise aana hua" you scanned his expressions as he looked worried.
"Behen where were you i have been knocking for so long, you got me worried" he stated in concern.
"Oh my, I'm sorry bhaiya i slept maybe that's why I couldn't-" you were cut off as Bheem placed his hand on your forehead to check your temperature,"behen are you sick, should i take you to the near hospital" he cuts you off, concern over his speech and all over face for you.
"I'm fine bhaiya, no need for going anywhere please come in" you requested."Are you sure you're fine and you have no fever?" he asked in concern. "Haa bhaiya, I'm fine now please come in!" he's been just standing outside the doorstep even you keep requesting him to come in.
"No behna, i can't come in actually Ram bhaiya sent these mogre ka gajra for you. I'm here to just give it to you, that's all" he stated as he handed you a black polythene with the gajra inside. Your eyes widened in surprise "he send this f- for me?" , Bheem nodded with a big smile as a reply. "T- tell him I'm very thankful and i loved it but he should come home early if he wants to see me wear this", bheem chuckled "sure I'll tell bhaiya to come home early to you my little sister".
He left as he patted your head and waved you a goodbye.
You were about to close the door as you see Bheem running towards your house, "BEHNA! listen i forgot something to tell you!"
"Oh my god calm down bhaiya, what is it?" you asked
"Ram bhaiya said you don't have to cook dinner and that he'll bring something tonight for you"
"Oh ok, bhaiya. Is there anything else bhaiya?" you said trying to look calm but internally you were blushing thinking about your husband's way to take care of you.Bheem shook his head as he finally left.
You had a light snack around 7 pm since your weren't hungry. Periods always makes sure to ruin your appetite whether it gives you cramps or not.
You took a shower in the evening and got fresh. Standing right infront of the mirror to get ready you took out the gajra out of the black polythene. It smelled beautiful, just like your Ram, so sweet that you always wanna keep him with you and always be with him wherever he goes.
You put on the gajra on your hair and tucked it properly using some clips to secure it in your bun.
You were busy folding some clothes as you heard a knock on you door. Walking out of your room, you checked the time.
It's only 9 pm now, it must be someone else, you thought to yourself thinking it's not your husband.
As you opened the door your eyes widened in amusement seeing Ram standing in front of you. He was holding one big black polythene and one small one. You were so happy to see him come early for you that you almost jumped to hug him but his firm arms were quick to hold you in his embrace.
Ram smiled as he kissed your forehead, still hugging you."How are you doing, are the cramps hurting alot?" he asked but you ignored his question as you said, "I missed you, thanks for the gajra though, they are beautiful!".
Ram already noticed the gajra on your bun, " not as beautiful as you, my love" he said as he patted your head, making you blush in his broad shoulders.
"Should we go in now, i know you're hungry look I bought all your favourites for dinner" he spoke looking at you.
You two walked in and Ram plated the dinner after he got fresh asking you to just sit and let him serve you. You keep telling him that he can atleast let you serve it but no he won't budge.
After eating you pleaded him to atleast let you do the dishes. So you two did it together, still better than him doing all this by himself. You knew his job was very tiring both physically and mentally. You always try to give him with maximum rest when he's home, most of the nights as he lays his head on your lap telling you about his day is something both of you loved to do.
You were sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for him to join you in the bed as Ram entered in the a room with a bowl and spoon in his hands.
"Gulab jamun for my sweet gulab jamun, my dear wife!" he exclaimed making you smile at the sight of your favourite dessert. You looked at him so in love that you couldn't explain, you really wanted to kiss him all over his face so you did. As he sat beside you on the bed, you set the bowl aside as pulled him in a soft kiss. Now it was his turn to be surprised. He was amazed with a sudden shower of love from his wife, he didn't thought much before he held you close and kissed you back pressing his lips over yours, you both closed your eyes and the feeling you two were sharing was the most valuable thing you could ever ask for.
You pulled back as you rest your head on his shoulders and you both started laughing softly, his hands still holding you close to himself.
"So was it the Gulab jamun, cause if you kiss me like this I won't hesitate to bring it for you everyday", you chuckled at his words hitting him slightly. "No dumbo, it's you, it's cause I love…and also the gulab jamun" you joked making him chuckle.
He fed you the gulab jamun as you both finished eating it and settle on the bed to finally dooze off in each others arm.
You know he'll always fight everything that would ever try to hurt you and if it's something like periods, he'll do the most corniest things to make you feel good afterall a little bit of cringe is ok when two souls are so in love with each other.
Tagging my babies: @lotus-n-l0ve @vijayasena
This is the first fic i posted yall, I'm emotional sobs
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I got my grubby hands all over an fnf fangame
'Alright, but you better bring him back by 5:30" Cyan grimaced. Her face softened when she saw her player two, CD-boy, clutching his head in pain.
Now on a time limit, Dude grabs the robot and runs off to the arcade leaving Lady and Cyan behind. The metal doors of the arcade swung open as he dragged the broken bot to the counter, operating it was his best friend, Buddy!
'BUDDY BUDDY BUDDY, YOU GOTTA HELP ME!' Dude yelled, his eyes were the size of dinner plates. 'Lemme guess, CD-boy?' Buddy figured- a slight British twang in his voice. He was the one watching it all go down with Cyan, so of course he should know!
Dude was amazed, he had no idea his bestie was there, he'd think the Brit was some sort of psychic or something.
'I'll take that look in your eyes as a yes, then?' The youth asked, waving his hand in front of him.
'Y-Yeah of course!'
'Right this way then.' Buddy walked from the counter into the corner where a secret door was hidden. To Dude, it just looked like a regular employees room, but inside it was filled with crtvs and wires, the heat made his face flush a bit as they both set CD-boy on the table in the middle; despite his human appearance he was quite heavy - but that's what you should expect from a sentient robot after all.
'So this is where the magic happens?' Dude asked while wiping his forehead with his pink shirt. 'Yup! All my free time is spent here, practicing to be a mechanic!" Buddy pats the computer conveniently next to the table 'I plan on taking over the world one day after all.' There was a smug look on his face like he's been waiting to announce that for ages now. His friend could only imagine Buddy with a giant throne and crown, holding the globe between two fingers. 'Well.. could I get a cool job if that happens?' The teen said mid-daydream.
The mechanic stuttered for a bit, then finally settled on 'royal toilet scrubber". Dude could only pout at this idea...
CD boy was hooked up to the computer, turns out he didn't have a trace of antivirus in him whatsoever, which of course is like letting a toddler run wild outside, you're bound to get germs - er viruses- all over you. Not to mention he wasn't connected to the internet, so Buddy did Cyan the favor of fixing all of the little bugs.
'Isn't Lady supposed to be with you right now?' Buddy asked as he adjusted his headphones.
"Nah, apparently her mom visited and she's super upset cuz she hasn't seen her in forever." Dude sat on one of the TVs laying around, due to how short he was - just sitting down he could reach the top of his friend's midriff. "Did you ever tell her about the thing?"
Dude shook his head frantically 'Heck no! Her parents would kill me if they found out she was dating a bum, I can't tell her that!' He started to tug on his cap a bit, loosening it and then fastening it once more '-I mean, I don't wanna burden her with my problems. She already has enough going on."
Buddy interrupted him 'You already sleep on the streets, that'd worry anybody. I mean, I let you sleep in my van when it's cold; even then I have to convince you to stay!"
"You have your own problems going on, you shouldn't have to do that!"
"JOEY!"
Dude froze upon hearing his real name. The way Buddy shouted it made tears well up in his eyes, he felt like he was drowning in his misery. Joey took a shaky breath, shaking his head.
'Can we...can we talk about something else?' He squeaked.
Buddy sighed, wrapping his casted arm around Dude 'Alright, but you can't keep putting this off, Imagine how she feels knowing that you lied to her.'
...
'You're right.'
THUD
while Buddy and Dude were having a heartfelt conversation CD-boy fell off the table with a huge thud - unplugging him from the computer.
'Hey!' Buddy yelped 'The anti-virus isn't done yet, help me get CD-boy back up!' Both of them got to work, Buddy taking most of the weight that was on the robot's torso. But just before Dude could pull his legs up the robot's leg suddenly winded him! It was like he was flung halfway across the room, Sure he was small but he had some weight to him.
Was CD-boy...growing?!
But that's impossible, at least that's what Dude Thought. Catching his breath he watched as Buddy got squished under the giant. Now CD boy was about as tall as the door.
The little guy quickly ran up to Buddy, grasping his hands tightly.
'I'm alright-' the Brit said 'You should get outta here while you still can!' Before Dude could argue ...
'CRITICAL ERROR DETECTED - ENLARGING PROGRAM CANCELED." CD-boy shouted.
Just as stated he stopped growing.
Wiping the sweat from his brow, Buddy managed to wiggle his way out from under the giant with help from Dude.
'You good?' The shortie asked, patting his friend's shoulder, the [slightly] taller one nodded 'Yeah!'.
The excitement died down as the both of them looked at the mini giant in front of them, trying to assess the situation. What was Cyan thinking when she added this feature, DID she add this in the first place?
CD-boy looked at the other two, since he couldn't fit on the table he just sat in the middle of the floor. His mechanical breathing filled the room as he looked around, he couldn't comprehend how much space he took up now. He pressed his palm against the ceiling, CDB could easily break through and do whatever he wanted.
But the number 1 rule of robotics is to not harm other humans, besides, it wouldn't be in character for him.
'//So I'm just stuck like this?' The giant asked.
Buddy shrugged 'Not sure mate, you'd have to ask Cyan.'
CDB looked at his hand and flexed it, seeing his hand be bigger than someone's head was certainly a surprise for sure.
'//my internal clock Is offline. What time is it?'
Buddy checked his wrist '5:35'
5:35...
Dude's eyes went wide just like earlier -arms flailing as usual. 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CYAN IS GOING TO KILL ME!! OK CD-BOY TIME TO GO!'
In one fluid motion, Dude was scooped up into CD-Boy's hand.
'//This will be faster, trust me'
' scr_setTime( ‘to go’): '
Dude was amazed, he'd never been held by a giant before. unless you count his girlfriend, but she is just tall at the end of the day. He could've sworn he heard a ticking sound coming from CDB's chest, maybe that was the clock he was talking about.
Or maybe that was his heart..?
Regardless, this way of transportation is much faster, though it probably could be safer, given how the big guy broke the door off the wall before stomping off - hopefully, Buddy doesn't mind.
However, all he cared about was selling a t-shirt about the whole event
'I survived getting hacked, grew up to 10 ft, and all I got was this stupid t-shirt'.
#giant/tiny#minigiant#growth but in a implied ish kinda way#im not tagging this fandom x2 if any one who likes this game finds this TURN AROUND AND NEVER COME BACK /jjjj unless you wanna read this#sfwgt#giant tiny#male minigiant#if they find this because i wrote CDB's full name I'm about to go D*De on them PFFFT#ghosttrickanon#g/t#fnf g/t#but kind of it's the fangame
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PROMPT LIST
Hello people! This is my own prompt list! Feel free to send requests! I’m really excited to do this haha
Also, this really took me some time to put it all together so please, if you reblog/use it/etc. give me credit. Thanks!
Update: If you have your own prompt that is not listed, quote or whatever else and you think it’s great, you can send it to me and we’ll see what comes out of it.
1. I fucking hate everyone. But you, you’re the only person I don’t hate.
2. And he looked at me, like there was something in me worth looking at.
3. Anger makes you stupid. Stupid gets you killed.
4. I’m here. You can talk to me or not talk to me but I’m here.
5. Goddamn right you should be scared of me!
6. And suddenly, life wasn’t about living. It was about surviving.
7. "-but you’ll die!“ "I don’t care."
8. I said I’m fucking fine.
9. Don’t you touch her.
10. We sat there smoking cigarettes at 5 in the morning.
11. Oh! The girl/boy I’ve heard so much about.
12. No one would hurt you again, or I’d kill them.
13. A cigarette for a thousand problems.
14. I could keep you save. They’re all afraid of me.
15. You look so proud standing there with a frown and a cigarette.
16. Thank you for loving me when I still tasted of heartache and war.
17. His eyes had more darkness than any other eyes I had ever seen before.
18. You don’t know shit about what happened to me.
19. This is who we are, a product of war.
20. Looking half a corpse and half a god.
21. I wanna see how you lose control.
22. I look at you and I just love you and it terrifies me. It terrifies me what I would do for you.
23. "You can’t protect everyone.” “I have to try."
24. He’s a badass with a good heart.
25. You are losing my interest, and that is very dangerous.
26. In a fight, they’re lethal. Around each other, they melt.
27. I wonder which will get you killed faster, your loyalty or your stubbornness.
28. You collect scars because you want proof that you are paying for whatever sins you’ve comitted.
29. With this smile, I can get away with everything.
30. I was so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.
31. Come over here and make me.
32. Oh my god! You’re in love with him!
33. Oh, do you ever shut up?
34. Can you two please get a room?
35. I have a name and it’s not sweetheart.
36. If I ever see you anywhere near her, you’ll have to deal with me.
37. Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.
38. Such dirty words from such a pretty little mouth.
39. Kiss me.
40. Are you flirting or starting a fight?
41. You stay awake do you hear me?! Don’t you dare close your eyes! Please! Come on!
42. Honestly, I only asked you for help because it’s so cute when you try.
43. You’re standing a little close to me..
44. You’re evil. It’s hot.
45. If you bite your lip one more time, I swear I’m going to do it for you.
46. By the Gods! You love her, don’t you?
47. It’s blood, not nuclear waste. Chill out.
48. A knife? Are you flirting with me?
49. "Hear me out.” “Why the fuck should i listen to you?"
50. I’ve been wanting to kick your ass all week.
51. Rumour has it, I make you nervous.
52. Leave, leave right now.
53. Can you just fuck off already?
54. "I- I trusted you!” “Sweet naive girl, trust is for children. You are a soldier."
55. Alcohol’s the only instant in my life.
56. You gotta stop saying things that make me want to kiss you.
57. Please don’t do this. Don’t act like you care.
58. Is everything supposed to go dark?
59. Why can’t you see what you’re doing to me.
60. Fuck, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my whole life.
61. It’s 2 in the morning. Why are you still up?
62. I want an answer, goddammit!
63. You make me want things I can’t have.
64. Cut the crap and tell me what happened.
65. Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that.
66. It’s nice to see someone who can appreciate my humour.
67. We’re more than just friends and you know it.
68. It’s pitch black in here and I can see you’re blushing.
69. Yes asshole, I do care about you.
70. They’re both stubborn and it’s complicated.
71. For you, I would.
72. I like you more than I planned.
73. I need you, idiot.
74. Golden eyes and a smile made for war.
75. Take that, fuckers!
76. I licked it so it’s mine!
77. We’re in this together.
78. Can I have this dance?
79. Look, I know you’re a hardass but can you play with my hair? It would really help.
80. No! Stay away from me! Stay back!
81. Maybe if you actually stop staring at her and talk to her, you might have a chance.
82. You have to promise you won’t fall in love with me.
83. I know that face. That’s your I’m-upset-with-you face.
84. I think we’d make this a fair fight if we each had a gun. Don’t you think, boys?
85. He loves you, you know? He’s just afraid of admitting it.
86. Dear Lord, please have mercy on my soul. This woman/man will be the death of me.
87. There are other things than Germans that can kill you.
88. What the hell? You are supposed to hate me!
89. Why do you like me?
90. "You’re annoying.” “You love me.”
91. Wanna go to hell together?
92. I lack the vocabulary to describe you.
93. You make me feel… you make me feel.“
94. What the fuck…?
95. So that’s you, the girl/boy who destroyed armies.
96. You’re my regret.
97. You better not die on me!
98. Can you stop shouting at me?!
99. Why are you making this so damn hard?
100. But that’s the problem, (name). I don’t think I’m able to stop loving him/her. Ever.
! UPDATE !
101. There is no way you’re going anywhere with him, not on my watch.
102. “You know you’re in love with her right?” “Since when?” “Since always.”
103. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t do this.
104. I love you, I do, but you’re a real pain in the ass.
105. Is that my shirt?
106. Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.
107. I think I might be falling in love with you.
108. What are you talking about? You’re married!
109. I saw that. You just checked me out.
110. Quick, pretend you’re talking to me.
111. I just wanted to hear your voice.
112. That was, by far, the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.
113. No. The moment you saw me as a bet was the moment you fucked up.
114. "It could be worse.” “You aren’t the one bleeding.” “Look, you’re still alive. Stop whining.”
115. Are you naked under that thing?
116. “Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”
117. What the hell were you thinking?!
18. You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?
119. Well, if I told you, then it wouldn’t be a secret.
120. Is it weird that was a total turn on?
121. That was the worst joke I’ve ever heard.
122. If I kiss you right now, I won’t be able to stop.
123. What did you just say?
#hbo war#band of brothers#the pacific#generation kill#bridgerton#imagine#band of brothers imagine#the pacific imagine#generation kill imagine#bridgerton imagine
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Twitter Drafts
was writing down my twitter drafts in a word document cause i'm gonna deactivate my twitter again cause i'm getting overwhelmed again by everything and thought i'd share some of these on tumblr lol
These drafts start from now (8/23/23) and go all the way back to i think like a year ago or something like that, some of the drafts are unfinished but yea anyways heres some of them
(pt 1)
(ps my bad i probably sound like an asshole in some of these, i was really sad and have been stuck in a perpetual shit cycle for the past 3 years)(but also i have to learn to stop apologizing for things that i don't need to be sorry for)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stuck in a body that isn’t mine,
Everything is a waste of time
Dumb yuppie mfkrs talking about being “broke” with a car, a house, gear that works and a house that has food everyday :|
Lol :|
We need a show in south florida for the Daniel Johnston fans all 5 to 6 of us
Mfkrs will literally kick you down and be like dude get up already, stop being lazy
Its funny hearing people talking about getting older and gaining weight and running out of breath and I’m like “dude literally all you do is smoke weed and watch shit on Netflix, what the fuck would you expect”
Lol you really not grown till you get sued for the first time
Mad respect and appreciation for anyone that takes the time to try and and understand themselves emotionally
In my head thinking about how it totally not cute to be this sad at my age
In my head counting all the people that hate me
I’m grateful for the people that I’ve been friends with since middle school
The online therapists are exploiting mental illness, places like b*tter help want you to think you are weak and they want you to think you can’t do it yourself so that you can pay them a good amount of money to talk you into fixing your own problems
Yea I’m probably gonna hold off on doing shit seriously till I have money again
I know where I am, I know where I’m going and I know how I’m gonna get there
You should be scared you fucking limp dick weasel, I hope you get everything that you have coming for you
Wtf you could bs nose slide? :o
I just wanna skate and make music with my friends, its not that complicated
This mini ramp is slowly but surely making my brain so much stronger
Don’t understand plus don’t care plus don’t wanna understand plus I gotta st
Do things for genuine reasons
I need to stop apologizing for things I don’t need to be sorry about
(added this in rn, wasn’t originally in our twitter drafts ^^^)
Nick is like the mike Sinclair to my billy marks
One day when I’m older and more stable with money and more in a place of comfort, I look forward to being able to smoke weed while playing playstation 2 games
Lifes moving in such a weird direction and I’m really happy and excited but also a lil sad also goddamn some of the things happening are so bizarre
Educate the yuppie jits, they don’t know any better
You are exactly like all the people you complain about and if you weren’t busy having your head so far up your own ass maybe you could see that
I love being an internet music nerd, all I wanna do is be on my computer and listen to music and make shit
I’m trying very hard to stay optimistic and keep working hard towards things that I think actually matter and if you are in any way trying to impede on that optimism (no matter how false you think it may be) then FUCK YOUUUUU just SHUT THE FUCK UP
Growing up means literally faking being happy every day
I can’t wait to turn 30
I need a job so fucking bad and I desperately need to leave this house
Steel reserve suicide? 👀
Fuck it lol I think imma finish as much as I can of the ruffans stuff and put it out as a demos album LOL (at this point that makes more sense than having this be an actual album)
Definitely gotta keep our friends humble cause :| some mfkrs are getting so prideful and arrogant :|
I think we need to start roasting our friends a bit more, so many specific people are getting way too prideful and arrogant, like there’s nothing in with feeling a sense of pride in your self but definitely gotta humble people when they’re getting out of pocket
Being in a car with people that drive like shit :| is so fucking annoying :| and then they wanna act like you’re annoying as fuck for being scared :| fried ass mfkrs :|
Too many people down bad rn, get it together
:| talking about these things with the people you love is :| so :| fucking :| hard :| life is moving and changing in so many directions in so many ways :| and
You will only come to realize this when it is way too late and you’ve done an insane amount of irreparable damage and then you will regret so much as we all come to do
Life at 17: I need to kill myself Σ('◉⌓◉’)
Life at 24: yea fuck this dude I’m out :|
Lol its funny to me that theres people that only like me because I’m so sad and that feels soo fucked up for some reason
I don’t care if it’s good enough because it is genuinely the best can do
(rn)
Phone password is **** and my computer password is ******, theres a lot of live video and audio recordings of peoples bands and maybe some photos and logos and art and other random bullshit, if anyone cares to go and try and find that, go for it
I tried, sorry, thanks
(anecdote: lol fucking dumb edgy imbecile thinking anyone would give a fuck to try and find any of that garbage
Thanks
Its fireeee :,| <3
Goddammit ramon just do it already, watching you get up and keep trying is humiliating it feels like watching a one legged dog keep tripping over himself tryna cross the street, its so fucking sadd
No I’m not doing okay why the fuck would you askme some stupid dumbass question like that, tryna be on some hold your head up king bullshit, like I’m glad that you’ve managed to convince yourself that you’re happy, that’s awesome for you I love that for you genuinely but what the fuck I am obviously not happy why the fuck would you ask me that like what the fuck am I actually supposed to say to that
I am not too fond of punk music or shoegaze music or metal music(as genres), theres specific bands and individuals that I like but in general sense most of those genres are so fucking boring
I feel like I haven’t had a real conversation with another human being in so long, I feel so detached from reality like as if I’m not real and I’m watching myself continue on autopilot from outside my body
I’m the kind of stupid where I’ll have no money, get $5 and decide to share it with someone so we could eat together
:3
Sitting thinking about how many days will have to pass before have to sell my fuzzwar and amp and other belongings that mean a lot to me?
(something is wrong/broken)
One brain cell dimwit human being who is not doing anything to fix it or help in any way: “why are you not fixing this? What is wrong with you you useless irresponsible asshole?”
:|
I wish I had what you had
(plural)
I’m getting real close to selling my fuzzwar, at this point in life I have no one I’m close enough that would know what that would mean to me or even care but maya gave me that for my 19th brirthday, it was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me ever
Jesus christ the way that asia argento looks at rip torn in marie Antoinette and just thinking about times in life when someone looked at you like that while touching your face
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Peanut Butter and Extra Jelly [T.H]
Summary: Tom’s long time crush on you becomes painful when you and Harrison are cast as love interests in a movie.
Paring: Tom Holland x Actress!Reader
Word Count: 5.8k
Warning: Suggestive themes, fake smut (very light), jealousy, probably some typos, swearing
a/n: i have no idea how filming a movie, or auditioning for one actually goes so don’t crucify me for this. i’m pretty happy with how this turned out, especially considering that this is the most i’ve ever written for a fic. also, Burt Kreisher is one of my fav comedians in real life, he has 3 shows on neflix and a mini series.
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Tom was not a jealous person. At least, that's what he always told himself. He prided himself in thinking he was a very level headed individual who didn’t let his emotions get the best of him. That worked best for his job anyways; always being able to control his emotions and not get in his own head. That simple, pacifistic mindset seemed to change when it came to you.
You were one of the many actors Tom got the pleasure to help hone their technique and work closely with. You were new to the lifestyle of Hollywood and the only roles you had before were in small indie films that never garnered too much attention. The first major role that you landed, which also happened to help kickstart your career, was in the MCU. You played the secondary villain in the third Spider-man movie.
Meeting the cast was a dream come true; they were all extremely helpful and they provided tons of tips and tricks in navigating the hectic schedule required for such a huge production. By the time filming wrapped up, you were considered part of their little Spider-man family.
Tom was easily the most helpful. Whenever he saw you struggling with anything, he offered to help. You two spent hours upon hours together in his trailer, ordering take out and practicing lines. Some nights you two planned to work through your script, but inevitably ended up falling asleep binge watching The Office, and laughing about crazy shit that happened on set that day.
When the movie wrapped up and you went home for a month before the press tour, you were completely unsure and nervous about what direction your career was going in. You auditioned for a few new movies, but had yet to hear from any of the directors about casting decisions. You kept in touch Tom during the month you were apart and expressed your concerns.
“I don’t know, Tom. I’m just so sick of waiting around and hoping that some director out there throws me a bone, ya know’?” You said on facetime, while making cookies.
“Yeah, I totally understand that, (Y/N/N). I had that issue a couple years ago before the Marvel movies. Trust me, you did outstanding in that role and once it gets noticed I’m positive you’ll have directors calling you, begging for you to audition.” Tom smiled warmly into the camera as he walked around his apartment in London.
“Yeah, easy for you to say, movie-star.” You giggled, turning your face away from the camera in hopes that Tom wouldn’t notice the blush his compliments painted onto your cheeks
“I’m serious! You were outstanding! Like in that one scene where you—”
“Tom! Tessa chewed a hole in my trousers again!” A voice came from outside of the frame, “Mate, you gotta get her to stop doing that somehow.”
Tom sighed, and waved his hand dismissively at the figure, “Okay, sure. I’m busy right now.” Tom looked back to the camera, “anyways, as I was saying, don’t stress about not having a new project yet, (Y/N)—”
“(Y/N)?” The other voice whisper-yelled. “Let me say hi!”, suddenly the phone was yanked out of Tom's hands and the video shook around a bit as Tom wrestled to get it back. Finally, the camera stilled and Harrison was on the other end smiling. “Hi, (Y/N)!”
“Oh, hi Harrison!” You smiled back, laughing. You'd met Harrison a few times when he visited Tom on set. “How are you?”
The camera started moving around more as the background behind Harrsion whizzed past. You assumed Tom must’ve been chasing him to get the phone back.
“I’m good! I just auditioned for a new movie. You should audition too! The main female lead’s description looks just like you.” He exclaimed, running past the kitchen to his room.
“Oi! Give me my phone back you div!” You heard Tom yelling in the background, no doubt in hot pursuit of Harrison.
“I don’t know, I'm not sure I’m prepared for a lead role.” You sighed, “What’s the movie called? I’ll look into it.”
“It’s called ‘Collateral Damage’, it’s a spy movie.” Harrison said, shutting the door to his room, while Tom pounded on it from the other side. “Yeah, it’d be really fun working with you. Tom constantly talks about how much fun you are on set.” Harrison wheezed out, trying to catch his breath.
“Aw, that’s sweet of him.” You laughed. “Well I’ve got to go. Just tell Tom he can call me tomorrow or something.” You waved at the camera. “Bye!”
“Yup, bye.” Harrison said right before the video cut out.
Harrison finally opened the door to a seething Tom. Tom grabbed the phone back from Harrison and noticed that the call had ended.
“Dude! Why would you do that?” Tom whined.
Harrison just patted Tom’s back, “Sorry, mate. She said she had to go, though. I was about to give the phone back.”
Tom huffed and sulked for a moment. “Whatever, I’ll just call her later, I guess.”
Harrison nodded and smirked at how whipped Tom was. “You should just ask her out if you’re so desperate for her attention.” Harrison teased.
“Shut up. I’m not desperate for her attention, I just like her voice and her personality, and the way she talks, and her funny sayings, and how her hair looks when she just woke up.”
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It was only a few days later when you received an email from the director of the movie Harrison told you about, asking for you to audition. You were ecstatic, Harrison must’ve already sent in some things about you since the director seemed adamant that you were of high interest for the role.
You called Tom immediately to share the good news.
He picked up after the third ring, “Hello, darling! How are you?” he beamed when he answered your call. He usually was the one to call you so he felt a sense of pride knowing that you were calling him for once.
“Tom! The director of the movie Harrison auditioned for just emailed me asking for me to audition!” You squealed excitedly.
“Really? That’s wonderful, love! Harrison just got the part of the lead too, so you’d be filming with him if you got it.”
“That’s so exciting, I’m flying to London for the audition in two days. Are you still there?” You pulled the phone away from your ear and switched it to speaker. “I’m booking the flight right now.”
“Yeah, I’ll be in London for another week and a half. Then we have the press tour starting in Japan.” Tom said, also switching to speaker phone to look at his calendar. “You can stay with Harrison and I while you’re here. Since we have to go to Japan together anyways.” Tom offered nervously. He really wanted you to stay in his flat with him. It’d be all cute and domestic, and maybe, just maybe, he’d spend enough time with you to not feel nervous about asking you on a date. If he was lucky, that is, but awaiting your reply he was a jittery ball of nerves.
“Yeah, that sounds wonderful. I won't be intruding though, right?” You said, smiling from ear to ear. Thank god you weren’t on facetime and Tom couldn’t see the stupid smile adoring your features.
“No, of course not. Harry will be so excited to see you. And Tessa too, she really misses you.” Tom shuffled around with his phone, shooting a quick text to Harrison letting him know you were coming to stay for a week.
“Ok, thanks so much, this is really thoughtful of you. I absolutely can’t wait to see you!” You gushed, finalizing your purchase of a one-way ticket to London. “K, the flight is at 2:30 pm here, it’s about 9 and a half hours, but you’re also ahead of me, so I’ll be in around..5?”
“Yeah, that sounds right to me,” Tom chuckled, “I’ll come pick you up. I’ll wear my incognito disguise.”
“If you mean that stupid t-shirt you got that says ‘I’M NOT A CELEBRITY’, then maybe I’ll ask Harrison to come pick me up…”
“That’s cold (Y/L/N).”
You giggled softly, “I’m sorry, Tommy. If it makes you feel better, that shirt isn’t as bad as that stupid blue beanie that you never wear correctly.”
“How the fuck would that make me feel better? You’re killing me, (Y/N/N).”
You laughed at his over dramatic reaction, “Sorry that you’re a sensitive babe. I gotta go now, see you soon!” You hung up before Tom could respond with a sassy quip. Then immediately after you received a text:
Tommy: The second you get here I’m bout to 👊
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Tom called Harrison up after you got off the phone, he needed to make sure his best friend wouldn’t say or do anything to embarrass him in front of you.
“Tom, don’t you think this is a bit obsessive? I mean, she’s only staying with us for a week and you already know her so well from spending all that time filming with her.” Harrison sighed, sick of listening to Tom ramble about every possible embarrassing situation he could be put in, in the coming week.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. It's no big deal. But don’t mention that time I accidentally shit my pants at the club, or that time I got hit in the head with a golf ball ‘cus I got distracted by a flock of geese, or that time a got chased by a flock of geese, or—”
“Geez, mate. At this point we might as well not even talk to her.” Harrison chuckled, thinking of all the stories he could bring up about Tom around the dinner table with you. Tom really was just a walking ball of embarrassing moments.
“Stoppp ittt,” Tom whined, “when we were on set it was usually just the cast and Harry around, but you? You could do some real fucking damage to my love life, Haz.”
“What love life?” Harrison barked out, laughing.
Tom then hung up and began praying to whatever god was out there that this week could go by without a hitch, and then you and him would be on your way, together, to Japan.
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The whole week spent in London actually went really well, especially the audition. Tom and Harrison both accompanied you for moral support, well Harrison actually had to be there to be your scene partner, but it was still nice knowing he supported you.
The director shook your hand and you went through the normal formalities before beginning your scene with Harrison. It was a quick scene with a monologue in it. The main premise of the movie was all about choosing love over work, especially in dangerous, life-threatening scenarios. The scene you used to audition with Harrison was the scene where the main character, Lincoln, and his lover interest, Mallory, were arguing, trying to push each other away to keep each other safe. The scene had a lot of raw emotion that you were able to tap into, and the directors gave your performance a standing ovation once the scene concluded.
They said that they’d get back to you within the next few days, but they also mentioned how the chemistry between you and Harrison was off the charts, leaving you hopeful. Tom and Harrison both gave you hugs and pats on the back. Tom had watched the whole scene unfold and he was in complete and utter awe of your talent. Part of him was annoyed that he didn’t audition for the movie and a chance as your love interest. But Harrison deserved this big break and so did you, so he was hopeful of the outcome being something that benefitted both of his best friends.
After the audition the rest of the week went by nearly perfectly. The real kicker was when Tom’s family invited you and Harrison to join them for dinner. Tom had not anticipated his mom asking you to come to family dinner, so he wasn’t able to stop the embarrassing anecdotes his mom told on his behalf.
“Tom had the cutest little tush,” Nikki exclaimed, placing the old homemade scrapbook in your lap and flipping through a couple of pages. “See look,” she happily pointed to a picture of Tom as a toddler in a bath, surrounded by bubbles, his little bum poking through them.
Tom sat uncomfortably on the sofa next to you, cringing at the now 21 year old photo of him. He expected you to also cringe along, or worse case scenario, get up and make a flimsy excuse to leave his crazy family, but you just chuckled along with Nikki and continued making your way through the scrapbook, making little comments here and there.
“Oh, and this one,” Nikki said, pointing to a photo of Tom crying and Sam holding up a superhero action figure triumphantly, “that was Tom’s favorite toy, but when Sam saw how much Tom liked it, he made an effort to always be playing with it when Tom came into the room and he wouldn’t share.”
You giggled at the little whiny face Tom made in the picture, and turned to him, replicating it on your face, making fun of him. Tom laughed along and playfully shoved you. He adored how well you seemed to fit in with his family and his feelings for you only multiplied.
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The week in London was one of the best in your life. You didn’t realize how much you missed Tom until you got to the airport and he was there waiting for you, unfortunately in his stupid blue beanie, and no, it wasn’t on right, his big ears poked out of it horrendously.
The last day you had in London before you and Tom went to Japan, you finally received a call about the audition. The director called you to congratulate you on getting the part, and he sent you numerous emails about scheduling, where to be, and when. Harrison was elated to have a familiar face playing his love interest on screen, and Tom was over the moon excited for you, this on top of the Spider-man movie coming out, you were certainly becoming a force to be reckoned with.
You spent the night celebrating at a club, Harry and Sam also showed up to party with you. The night was still young and the club was already packed and in full swing. Tom ordered two shots for each of you to start off the night before he was whisked away by a few fans to sign autographs. When he didn’t return you took it upon yourself to have his shots, giving you an extra edge to help spice up your night.
Harrison found Tom in the corner of the club talking to some fans. But throughout his whole time taking pictures with them, he couldn’t help but glance at you every once and a while. You looked so carefree and beautiful, dancing around in your shiny silver top and leather leggings.
“Tom.” Harrison interrupted Tom’s gawking and directed his attention to the small group of fans Tom was with.
Tom nodded and finished up his pictures and autographs before wishing them all a good and safe night. Once he reached you, you engulfed him in a bone crushing hug.
“Thank you for such a great time in London, Tommy.” you slurred, already feeling the impact of the four shots you took. “I had the best time of my whole life.” You pecked his cheek and pulled him close to dance with you.
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The following month or so on the press tour was a once in a lifetime experience. You travelled to more cities than you even knew the name of and you had all of your friends by your side. More so, you had motivation to remain approachable and well liked by fans considering that you were moving up in the industry. Some interviews were mostly for Tom, Zendaya, and Jacob. Your role in the movie was big enough for you to be needed for some interviews, and most people were genuinely interested in getting to know you, but there were also a handful of press activities that you weren’t included in, which you didn’t mind.
When you didn’t have anything to do for an hour or so, you would text Harrison and send him funny memes. He was quickly becoming one of your closest friends; you had already created a surplus of inside jokes with him just over the phone.
Tom noticed how you were always laughing at your phone or rapid fire texting. Even when you were being interviewed, Tom could faintly hear the buzz of your text message notifications going off.
“Tom,” you snapped in front of his eyes, “did you need something?”
“Huh?” Tom blinked a few times, “Uh—no, sorry.” Tom’s cheeks flushed pink, embarrassed for having been caught staring at you. He couldn’t help it though, you were dressed so pretty that day. You had your hair done up in two bubble braids and you wore his pink sweatshirt over your yellow sundress.
“Okay then.” You smiled at him. You went back to your phone, reading what Harrison had just texted you. “What was the name of that comedian we watched the other night?”
“The one on Netflix?”
You hummed out a yes, tapping away at your phone.
“Burt Kreisher, why?” Tom asked, leaning over to your chair to try and catch a glimpse of who you were texting. When he saw the contact name “Hazzy”, he couldn't stop the little angry pit of jealousy that started in his stomach. Sure, you were here with him now, not with Harrison, but when you two were apart you also texted him nonstop, and the texts seemed to all be inside jokes, which was something you also shared with him that he held near and dear.
“I made a joke referencing him to Harrison and he didn’t get it. Fucking nerd.” You chuckled, texting Harrison a link to the skit you were referring to.
Tom chuckled along, but he couldn’t help but frown slightly at how bright your smile was when Harrison replied.
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The press tour and premiere of the movie seemed to go by lighting fast. You’d never been to a premiere for a production this big, and your nerves for the red carpet were starting to get to you.
You and Zendaya were stuffed into a hotel room with both of your respective teams, both trying to rapidly get both of you ready for the event.
“So when do you start filming for your next project?” Zendaya asked, she sat in front of a broadway-equse mirror, bright bulbs of light giving a luminescent glow to her already near flawless complexion. She hadn’t even finished her makeup yet and she was so pretty.
“In a month, I have to go back to London next week.” You said, sifting through the opinions you brought for dresses. You brought three options, just in case you changed your mind after seeing yourself in the dress. “Harrison and I are going to go over the scripts together and we were also told to go out in public a few times; for press and whatnot.”
“That’s exciting!” Zendaya mused, she glanced at the clock and gave her hairdresser some instructions about how much time she had to do hair. “It’s a good thing you guys are already friends. I remember when I filmed ‘The Greatest Showman’ I didn’t know many of the actors personally, so we had to go out together and do press all while being almost strangers. It was a bit nerve wracking.” Zendaya smiled at you fondly, she was like an older sister to you during this whole movie-making process, she constantly had your back.
“Yeah, I mean I’ll probably be in a situation like that at some point, but for my first lead role it’s nice to be working opposite a friend.” You smiled back, finally deciding on the red, sequined dress.
You both sat and worked through the makeup process in comfortable silence.
“So you and Tom…” Zendaya broke the silence and looked at you with a smirk on her face.
“What?” You looked at her with a dumbfounded look, before nervously laughing, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t play dumb, (Y/N/N).” She poked your arm and laughed, “He’s literally obsessed with you.”
You laughed at how ridiculous that sounded. A movie star, and very famous movie star at that, obsessed with you? You? Impossible.
“Yeah no, sorry but you got the wrong girl, babe.” You sighed, pulling out your phone to snap and selfie with her for your instagram story. You quickly snapped a pic of the two of you, her kissing your cheek, leaving a small, faint lipstick mark. “I mean it’d be nice,” you back tracked, “but I’m sure that’s just my wishful thinking.”
“What wishful thinking? I thought you were a pessimist?” Zendaya chuckled, taking her own photo with you to post later.
“I am, but I can’t help but indulge a bit.”
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Before you knew it, you were back in London, staying in a rented out flat for the next three to four months. Harrison was kind enough to come over to help you set up a work space, but he also offered you to spend most of your time at his place. Since Tom was in New York, doing interviews about the new Spider-man movie and having meetings with the Marvel Cinematic Universe team to try and gauge his future in the MCU, he wouldn’t be around for almost a month, so Harrison offered up Tom’s office when you needed to go over a scene by yourself and wanted a place that was already set up.
The days of filming seemed to go by in the blink of an eye. Most of your scenes were with Harrison, and he was the perfect scene partner. He rarely messed up, but if he did then he was quick to use it as an opportunity to improvise. His skills weren’t as well honed in like Tom’s, but it was obvious that their style ranged from a similar source.
The main thing about this movie that you were excited, but extremely nervous for, were the two sex scenes. The first one is at the beginning, where the two leads give in to each other for a night, then there's some implied stuff in between, and the last one is when the two leads part ways for the final time at the end of the movie. The first one had to be rough, fast, and needy, whereas the second one was direct to be more slow, thought out, and sensual.
Both were extremely stress-inducing to film. Harrison had also never done any scenes like this before, so he was on the same boat as you. Thankfully you had an amazing director and stunt coordinator to work with and with the help of other crew members, the scenes were mapped out so that it wasn’t too much improv or guessing on your part.
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The first intimate scene you shot actually happened to be the one at the end of the movie. That scene was more tame and dealt with more emotional subtexts than physical. Since you filmed that one first, you went into filming the next one with more confidence. It only took a few days to get the first scene down to perfection, so with this newfound confidence, it shouldn’t take too long to get the next one done.
On the days you shot intimate scenes, you only needed to wear the costume you wore before the scene and then you changed into a robe with nude underwear underneath. The bits with the outfit on before were already shot, so the director called a 30 minute break until you could begin shooting the actual sex part.
You were standing by the snack table, eyes scanning the table for any more muffins leftover from breakfast. The robe you wore made your skin prickle whenever a draft came onto set.
Just as you had found the muffin you were looking for, a pair of warm hands covered your eyes.
“Guess who!” An all too familiar warm, British accentuated, voice called.
You turned around in his arms, effectively nudging his hands from your face, and soon you were met with the warmest hazel eyes. Eyes that you missed so much this past month.
“Tommy!” You squealed and thrusted yourself into him in a hug. He immediately reciprocated it and wrapped your body in warmth. “What’re you doing here?” You asked once you let go of him.
“Harrison gave me the location so I could come watch you film. I just got home, like, two days ago.” Tom eyed you up and down, not realizing what little you had on. “Um—are you wearing anything under that?” He pointed up and down your figure.
“Nope, today and tomorrow we’re scheduled to film the sex scene.” You said casually, doing a silly twirl. Tom gulped.
“A s-sex scene?” He choked, “I didn’t know you guys had one.”
“Yup,” you smirked, “two actually, this is my first one ever, Haz’s too, I think. Well actually, we filmed the sex scene at the end of the movie last week.”
“Yeah… t-that’s cool.” Tom smiled weakly.
Right as you were about to continue your conversation with Tom, an arm swung over your shoulder and pulled you close. Harrison smiled at the both of you. He wore a similar robe to yours, except he left the front open. His plaid boxers on full display.
“Don’t listen to her, Tom. She’s a natural.” Harrison pinched your cheeks. Tom clenched his jaw at the comment. He knew Harrison hadn't meant to imply anything with it, but he couldn't help but hear the hidden meaning behind the otherwise innocent compliment.
You giggled and pushed his hand away, “Only ‘cus my scene partner is so darn cute.” You retaliated, poking and tickling his pecs.
This kind of goofy banter was normal between you and Harrison, but Tom hadn’t seen either of you in so long. He also had never seen you two interact so fluently with each other. He watched the interaction with a tight-lipped smile, nodding along and shrugging every once in a while to seem like he was paying attention. In reality though, he couldn’t pry his thoughts away from how close you were to Harrison.
“Ok everyone! Places! Let’s wrap this scene up and put it to rest today!” Your director called. You and Harrison smiled and waved goodbye to Tom. Harrison pointed to a chair in the room that had a nice view of the set where Tom could watch. Tom nodded and walked over to the chair, enthusiasm for watching you work completely dissipating.
The scene started off rough right off the bat. The second the director said ‘Action!’ you and Harrison were practically pouncing on each other. Harrison had you pressed up against the wall and you were both breathing heavily. He was leaving sloppy, wet kisses down your neck, then across your collar bones. Your moans, which Tom always imagined to sound like music to his ears, sounded too real for his liking. But no matter how much he tried to look away, his eyes were glued to the two bodies moving fluidly with one another.
“Cut! Cut!” The director yelled, effectively ending the scene. You and Harrison pulled apart and he gave you a peck on the cheek, as in saying ‘good job’. “That was good, but Harrison,” The blonde nodded, awaiting further instruction. “You gotta be a little rougher, hm?”
Harrison nodded along with the critique. “(Y/N)?” the director moved his attention to you, “would it be okay if Harrison marked you up? Just a few hickeys to really sell the illusion. We can do without, though, if you feel uncomfortable.”
Tom overheard the interaction and internally hoped that you were too uncomfortable for that, but deep down he knew you would do it. You were never the type to stray away from a challenge.
“Yeah, that’s fine.” You nodded, chest still heaving from the scene. You looked at Harrison. “Is that okay with you?”
Harrison nodded, a shy smile tugging at his lips. Yeah, you guys have been working at this scene for days now, but he’d never been rough enough to leave marks. He’d be lying if he said the thought didn’t invigorate him.
So the scene started from the top, you pressed up against the wall, all your weight shoved between the flimsy wall of the set and Harrison’s strong arms. Harrison did exactly as the director required, leaving noticeable dark spots across the top of your chest. Unlike your previous moans, which had just been for show, this new roughness in his actions tore real moans from your lips.
Tom sat uncomfortably in his chair, wishing he picked a different day to visit you on set. He shifted around, watching twin moans pull from both you and Harrison’s throat. He watched as you nipped at Harrison's ear as he faux thrusted into you. The jealousy that had pitted itself in his stomach soon turned to self-loathing. You looked really into the scene, he couldn’t help but feel like he was intruding. He knew you were a great actress, but he couldn’t believe that this was all acting. In his eyes, he believed that some part of you must wish that this was real. And part of you did like this scenario, but you wouldn’t have picked Harrison to be opposite you in this little fantasy.
Your moans and Harrisons both grew louder, leading up to the climax as scripted. Tom, not wanting to watch anymore exited the set quickly before he could watch the scene end.
You and Harrison finished up, gaining applause and praise afterwards from the director and crew members on set.
“Where’s Tom?” You asked, scrambling back into your robe and smoothing out your now roughed up hair.
Harrison, now noticing the absence of his best friend, began to feel a bit guilty. He knew Tom had a thing for you, maybe he should’ve told Tom not to visit set today.
“Um, (Y/N)?” He mumbled, pulling you aside slightly.
“Yeah?” You still looked around for Tom a bit, heart sinking when you realized that he must've left without saying goodbye.
“I shouldn’t be the one telling you this,” Harrison began, drawing your full attention, “but Tom really likes you. He always downplayed it, so I didn’t realize how much, but I think watching this scene might’ve upset him a bit.” Harrison looked towards the exit, no doubtedly where Tom left through, out into the parking lot.
“Oh—oh!” You gasped, feeling terribly for having put Tom in such an awkward position. “I didn’t know he felt the same.” You whispered, smiling softly to yourself. Guess Z was right after all. You pulled away from Harrison, “I’ll go talk to him.”
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Tom didn’t go far. He still wanted to be there to support you; he didn’t want to come off as a jealous prick, but he couldn’t keep watching that intimacy between you and his best friend. He sat on the curb outside of the building the set was built in. A few people passed him going to their designated buildings on the lot, but he didn’t pay any mind to them, too lost in his thoughts. He needed to tell you sooner rather than later how he felt. No time to be a pussy anymore.
“Tom?” You walked up next to his sitting figure, still only in a robe, tightly wrapped around you. He looked up to acknowledge you, mumbling a soft ‘Hey.’ before looking back down, trying to collect his thoughts and courage. It’s now or never.
You sat beside him and rested your head on his shoulder. “Harrison told me something interesting in there,” You paused for a moment before continuing, “about you.”
Tom’s head shot up, and he looked at you with frantic eyes, only imagining the worse. There were too many things Harrison could’ve told you about Tom to sully your image of him.
“Whatever it was, he's a lying prick!” Tom rushed out.
You giggled, lifting your head up to look him in the eyes, his dark hazel eyes boring into yours.
“That’s a shame then,” You shrugged, “considering I like you too.”
Tom breathed out a sigh of relief, before looking back at you, doing a double take.
“Wait, what?”
“Mhm, yeah.” You said casually, standing up. “But since Harrison’s a liar then I suppose he was wrong.” You teased.
“No!” Tom grabbed your wrist and pulled you back next to him, but his aim was a bit off and you ended up in his lap. “He lies about a lot, but not about this.”
You smiled at him, “I should hope not, considering I’m crazy about you.”
Tom couldn’t help the smile that beamed across his face, but then he noticed the marks left on you by Harrison. Remembering why he was insecure in the first place, he looked away.
“What about Harrison?” He asked. You looked at him utterly confused. Tom caught on and explained further. “You looked like you were really into that scene with him.”
You giggled and pinched Tom’s cheek, turning it red. “I’m an actress, you idiot.”
Tom scoffed, “I know that. It’s just— I didn’t realize you could fake that kind of love.”
You looked at Tom’s downcast face. You leaned in and kissed his neck, just under his jaw. You nipped and sucked softly, leaving a nice, dark pink blotch that would go away in a few days under his jaw and he whimpered softly.
“I’d never fake that kind of love with you.” You grabbed his face, holding it gently in your hands. “I’d never have to.” You whispered, pulling him in for a kiss, soft and sweet.
Tom pulled you closer, resting a hand on the small of your back, kissing back fervently.
The short make-out session being cut short by the door to the set bursting opened. Harrison rushing out, now dressed in slacks and a white button up for the next scene you needed to shoot that day.
“(Y/N)! Hair and makeup need you.” You lugged yourself off of Tom’s lap, promising to talk to him after you finished for the day. You went back inside, jokingly blowing a kiss to Harrison on your way.
Harrison stayed outside and sat next to Tom.
“Did she confess first?” He asked after a moment of silence.
“Yup.” Tom smiled happily, licking his lips, tasting the strawberry chapstick he saw you put on earlier.
“You owe me 10 pounds then, you wimp.”
“Oh, fuck off.” Tom groaned, promptly pulling ten pounds out of his wallet and handing it to Haz.
#tom holland x reader#tom holland x actress!reader#tom holland angst#tom holland fluff#tom holland x y/n#tom holland oneshot#tom holland fanfic#tom holland smut#harrison osterfeild fluff#harrison osterfield#platonic!harrison osterfield
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A hero is in a coma. Villain visits them every single day, loosing sleep, not eating, their life is now completely focused around the empty hospital room.
Until hero wakes up and notices how sick villain has become due to anxiety and not taking care of themselves. Caretaking?
This is such a cute ask!! There’s only a little caretaking, but as always I’d be happy to write some more ^^
To all non-Americans out there, I am so sorry for using our weird 12 hour clock in this piece
CW//Comas, medical settings, just some horrible self care, mentions of explosions, bad hygiene, sleep deprivation, low self esteem, blaming self, strong language
“How are they doing?”
The voice alone was enough to make Doctor jump, spinning on their heels with such quickness that their shoes squealed on the tiled hospital floor.
Oh. It was just Villain.
Just Villain. It was a ridiculous thought to have, and they were well aware of that fact. Only a few short weeks ago, the name would have been enough to make any well-minded civilian tremble. It was bad enough, to hear it spoken on the news. Worse, to hear it not coming from a television-- in some cases, that name was all the warning one was given, before a terrible fate befell them. A nameless causality in the never-ending battle of good and evil.
But, now, there was no terror associated with it.
Most hospitals, Doctor was well aware, were fortunate enough that villains did not often pass through their doors. When they did, in the best cases, it was to seek treatment. In the worst cases, they had far more destructive intentions.
Their hospital, however, was an exception. There is a saying, that one can get used to anything, and with their experience, they now believed it to be more than true.
Doctor sighed, letting their shoulders fall.
“Visiting hours are over, Villain. You need to go home.”
The villain’s eyes widened, flickering momentarily to the nearest clock. In fact, it was past the end of visiting hours. Well past. Night rounds were about to begin, even.
It was simply so easy to forget Villain, hunched over in their little plastic chair.
Especially with those big, pathetic eyes with which they regarded Doctor.
“I can’t leave.” They pleaded. “Not yet. Can’t I stay just another hour?”
“No, Villain. We’ve been over this. You can come back tomorrow, bright and early, right at seven.”
“But it’s eleven, now! That’s eight hours. Eight hours they’ll be alone.”
“Not alone.” Doctor bit their lower lip. They knew full well that the person before them could render them to a charred corpse in mere seconds, if they so wished. Their tense, skipping heartbeat wouldn’t let them forget it. But, there was no malice in their eyes. Not an ounce. Only that terrible, pitiful sorrow. The sorrow that never seemed to leave them. “There’s people here, all night. A whole medical staff. If anything happens, they won’t be alone. I promise.”
Villain’s lip quivered. Weren’t they supposed to be dangerous?
“You’re sure I can’t stay? Just another hour?”
“I’m sure.”
“O-Okay.” The villain reached into their shoulder bag, and, for a moment, Doctor nearly pressed the nearest panic alarm. Yet, they withdrew no weapon. Instead, Villain took a small, spiral-bound notebook in hand, offering it. “Here are my notes. Um, just so you know. What they did today.”
Doctor’s gaze downcast to the paper. They already had three of these, piled on their desk. Filled to the brim. This one had only recently been started.
The page the notebook was turned to displayed the same thing as all the rest: Impeccably neat handwriting, dividing the page into half hour blocks. In each, letters of equal quality described the patient’s condition, down to the most minute detail.
3:30 - Minor twitching of the eyelids accompanied by singular irregular heartbeat.
4:00 - No abnormalities.
4:30 - Twitching of left index finger.
5:00 - Abnormal breath at around 5:12.
It was the best-kept record of a comatose patient’s condition that Doctor had ever seen. Even if it wasn’t exactly helpful, with how repetitive the patient’s movements tended to be, it was downright impressive.
“Thank you, Villain. I’ll tell the receptionist to expect you at seven?”
“Is there any chance I could come in earlier than that?”
“No. I’m sorry. Visiting hours start at seven.”
“I’m quiet. You know I’m quiet. I won’t be a bother to anybody.”
“I know, Villain. If...” They knew they needed to say something, or this argument would continue all night long. “If anything happens, we have your number on file. I’ll call you myself.”
“Really?” Their eyes widened. “You promise?”
“I promise. Now, you need to go home.”
“Okay.”
“You won’t hide in the bathroom and try to stay late this time?”
“You saw?”
“Everyone saw, Villain. Now, you’ve gotta skedaddle.”
The villain nodded hesitantly, looking to their shoes as they turned, moving down the hallway. As they left, Doctor could not help but mutter in their wake:
“And get some rest.”
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Six weeks.
Those two words echoed hollowly in Villain’s mind as they plodded along the damp sidewalk, lit only by the dewy echoes of streetlights overhead. The hour was late enough, and the city tired enough, that the streets were nearly deserted-- a state they were in so very rarely.
Their henchmen had spoken to them so many times, lecturing them that moving through the city’s depths, alone and unprotected, was terribly dangerous. Any hero, or any vigilante too cocky for their own good, could try their luck in an ambush.
But, Villain could hardly bring themself to care.
Six weeks.
That was all they cared about.
Six weeks since Hero had moved. Six weeks since they’d spoken, since they’d awoken. Exactly six, now.
Exactly six weeks since...
Villain’s hands clenched to fists at their sides, overgrown nails digging into the meat of their palms.
Since they’d made the biggest mistake of their life. Since the two sworn nemeses, Hero and Villain, light and dark, good and evil, had had their final battle. An industrial sabotage gone wrong.
They should have known better! Better than to use their pyrokenisis in an oil refinery.
But, that hadn’t. They hadn’t been thinking. They never thought! They were so stupid, so reckless, so careless...
Villain’s ears still rung from the explosion.
Their injuries meant nothing, even as they still throbbed. No. Because, for the last six weeks, they had been awake. Moving. Talking.
Hero hadn’t been so lucky.
When they at last arrived at their HQ, the halls were silent. Life existed only in the form of a scattering of guards, nodding their respects, but making no other gestures.
It was with weary legs that Villain ascended to their bedroom. They hardly noticed its state-- they’d grown used to the scatterings of clothes and papers. Instead, upon opening the door, their eyes snapped to the bed.
More specifically, the item upon it. They rushed to it, yanking it off the mussed blankets.
A book. A note, upon its cover.
“Went to bed before I could give this to you. It’s that book you wanted - Henchman”
Villain removed the note, far more interested in the cover it hid.
A Neurologist’s Guide to Chronic Vegetative States
There were more than enough pages within to last them until sunrise; until visiting hours at last recommenced.
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At 5:40, the sun began its ascent, bathing the sky in a dull hue of blue.
When six o’ clock came, the first rays of light could be seen, flashing over the horizon.
With the strike of 6:10, Villain placed down their book. They were only around halfway through-- wandering eyes and brief minutes of dozing lowering the speed at which their foggy mind could process the medical textbook.
They would have more than enough time to read, the next night. The book didn’t matter. What mattered was that visiting hours would commence in 50 minutes, exactly.
Twenty minutes to walk to the hospital. Meaning that, to get there early, they needed to leave in fifteen.
Rubbing sleep from their eyes, Villain rose from their chair, knees popping and cracking all the way to the bedroom door. Quickly, they changed into the cleanest clothes they could find, if only for the sake of appearances, before heading out.
Showering could wait. Showers took time, time that could be spend watching. Reading. Taking notes.
Helping. Doing anything, anything they could to help.
Emerging into the hallway, they startled a moment. The lights had already been turned on, despite the fact that their henchmen never awoke this early. Perhaps they had simply forgotten to turn them off the night prior.
Yet, there were noises, from downstairs.
There was no fear left in their body to feel. Justifications were quickly made, and they ran down the stairs.
Entering the kitchen, a scent hit Villain, forceful as a gust of wind. The scent of food-- warm and fresh and garnished with garlic.
Before the stove, Henchman stood. Out of all those Villain employed, Henchman was the least likely to be awake at such an hour. Often, they dragged themself from bed well after ten.
Yet, here they stood, flipping a pancake in a skillet.
“Hey, boss.” Their henchman turned, a grin glimmering upon their face. “I’m almost done here. Get yourself something to drink.”
Villain blinked.
“What... are you doing?”
“Making breakfast? I thought that’d be pretty obvious.”
“Yeah, I can see that. But... Why? You never eat breakfast.”
“Yeah. It’s not for me. ‘s for you, boss.”
They shook their head, glancing at the clock. 6:17.
“I’m not hungry. Besides, I really need to get going.”
“Boss.” There was an endeared, yet frustrated, tone to the voice. “When was the last time you ate?”
“You made me eat a granola bar yesterday.”
“And the day before that, you didn’t eat anything. So, you’re eating breakfast, if I have to shove it down your throat.”
They clenched their hands to fists.
“I don’t have time for this! Visiting hours are going to start soon. I need to be there.”
“No. You need to eat. Then you can go to the hospital.”
“You don’t get to decide that. I need to go. I’m sorry.”
“Boss.” Henchman slid the pancake onto a plate before deftly stepping between their boss and the front door. “I don’t mean to be blunt, but you look like hell. I know you haven’t been sleeping. Everyone knows it. If you keep acting like this, you’re going to be the one in a hospital bed.”
Villain gritted their teeth.
“Maybe that’s what I deserve. Now, fuck off. Get someone else to eat your damn pancakes.”
With those words, and furious footsteps, they emerged onto the sidewalk outside.
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When Receptionist arrived at their desk, there was already a patron, sitting in their waiting room.
A few short weeks ago, such would have been unusual. While other parts of the hospital were occupied day and night, the appointments handled by this room did not begin until the hospital actually opened-- right at seven.
Now, though, there was nothing strange about it.
Before they could so much as sit down, Villain was already moving towards them.
Receptionist could not help but note their appearance.
Working in a hospital, they had long since grown used to seeing the sick and injured. And yet, there was something particularly distressing about this case.
They supposed, it was because they had seen it happen. Usually, when patients arrived at the hospital, it was because they could no longer manage their own conditions. Their bodies were in shambles. They showed up in their damaged states.
Villain, on the other hand, had first appeared to the waiting room is relatively good health.
Then, they had begun to appear tired.
And thin.
Now, their appearance matched that of the comatose patient that they were here to see. Skin clung taught about their cheekbones, their flesh pale and eyes glazed over. Most semblances of hygiene had been abandoned entirely; some parts of their hair had even begun to mat, and dirt clung to them like caked and cracked makeup.
But, there was something else in their eyes. The sheer essence of undying compassion.
It was that alone that prevented Receptionist from sending them away.
Villain had no need to speak. As soon as they had time to sit, the hospital employee had paged the proper floor-- a sequence of buttons that had quickly become muscle memory.
“You can go up, now.” They spoke. With a wearied nod, Villain moved to begin their ceaseless watch.
Neither of them could have guessed that, an hour later, the unthinkable would come true.
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When Hero awoke, it was to the sound of a pencil, scratching at paper.
The world filled in with a terrible, exhaustion tedium. Above them, blurs of white and grey turned to a sterile, white tile, while the world about solidified to four pale, beige walls.
A hospital. They’d been in enough to recognize as such, with just how clumsy their teammates tended to be.
But why were they here, now...? Who had gotten hurt, this time? They couldn’t quite remember.
Rolling onto their side, the question was quickly answered.
Villain appeared to be on death’s doorstep, about to press the doorbell. Matted hair clung to their neck, eyes drooping and skin appearing as though there was no blood beneath it at all.
At the very least, they had made it to the hospital before suffering any serious damage.
Wait.
It was only then that Hero realized who exactly was in the room’s hospital bed.
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fic rec masterlist
canon divergent/finale fix its
Anamnesis
THIS! FIC! this fic lives in my head rent FREE it is so good and it makes so much sense in the narrative that the shitty finale concocted, as to why they wouldn't mention cas or anyone else and its just. so good and they write chuck in the most villainous way that i love!!!
"Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be. Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19."
Sunset Sound: Stairway to Heaven by @adhdeancas
GOD FUCKING CHRIST this is so good and sweet and im such a sucker for team ups and reunions!!! its 3:30 am rn and i just finished it and i love it SO much it made me laugh a lot and the last few chapters i had the stupidest grin just plastered to my face
The Closer the Star, the Greater the Parallax by @rocksalts
repressed bastard dean submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known and receives the rewards of being loved but only after some miscommunication i LOVE this i read it last night and it’s a fast favorite. my interests have overlapped and i am INTO it
“When Dean sits down to watch some bullcrap Discovery Channel episode with Cas, he doesn’t expect to actually learn anything. Except, with Cas explaining, he makes an effort to connect the dots.”
Don't We All Deserve To Be Happy?
VERY sweet and a VERY good pick me up. all around feel good fic!!!
"Post-canon fix-it, divergent from 15x19 where Jack stays and Dean doesn't die and Cas comes back and everyone is happy. Take a shot every time I'm salty about the finale."
Keep Your Love Alive
okay. okay okay okay this may be my favorite finale fix it just because of how well reasoned it is. like this feels what should have happened i love it SO much
"Dean gets to spend eternity sharing beers with Bobby on the Roadhouse porch and riding around in his Baby with Sam. He’s at peace… or he feels like he should be. But a few things nag at him: Where is Cas, and everybody else Dean had been hoping to see in Heaven? Why does he feel like he’s stuck in a loop, reliving the same memories over and over again? And who are the strangers wearing Sam’s and Bobby’s faces?"
The GoldenRod Revisions by @aethylas
this is one of the most well written things ive ever read. the script format DID make it feel more real and honestly? this is better writing than this show deserves. the finale that could have been ♥️
“A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.“
Ascend by @wanderingcas
THEE finale fix it fic!!! written by the AMAZINGLY skilled and talented @wanderingcas !!! it’s 50k of angst and hurt/comfort and pure bliss
“Something in the world is wrong.
Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.
But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.
Or can it?”
Things Happen (They Do, And They Do, And They Do) by THEE @sobsicles
i KNOW everyone has already recommended this and likely you’ve all already read it. but it has to go here bc REPRESSIOOOOOOOOON i LOVE this so much it is one of the most perfect things i’ve read. are you bisexual? did you have a kind of weird relationship with your best friend and not realize that how you felt about them wasn’t necessarily how other people felt about them and you were maybe a little bit in love with them but were too repressed to realize it? you’ll feel seen. maybe a little too seen
Closer (isn't close enough)
are you a sweet and sappy yet horny bastard? do you like cas exploding light bulbs? you will like this.
“the one where they finally talk about what cas said before the empty took him”
You and Your Husband
it is exTRMELY sweet!!! repression dean strikes again <3
"Five times Dean corrects someone about his relationship with Cas, and one time he realizes he doesn't need to."
Tall Grass
miscommunication and a slowburn! despite being written in 2017 and finished in 2018, it feels like a fix it. ft. plant obsessed cas <3
Invictus
a LOVELY and short (relatively) finale fix it
“They saved the world. They're free. It's done.
Except it's not, and carrying on is the last thing any of them are thinking about.
They still have someone they need to save.”
Unchained Link
post finale- it’s a great case fic and i am compelled i want more!!!
"It's after the end of things. Life continues on while Dean is "livin it up" in heaven. But it's never that simple, is it? A freak occurrence sends Dean into another time stranded back on Earth. And he thought his hunting days were over. But, no worries. His knight in shining armor comes to the rescue. Hijinks, therefore, ensue."
fun and time unspecified
Ladies and Gentlemen, This is Love Potion No. 5
very funny and sweet! miscommunication at its finest ♥️
"Cas gets drenched with a mystery potion from the ‘love spell’ shelf and... Dean has a sneaking suspicion, angel or no— the spell may have taken effect. And Cas might be in love with Sam."
The Way We Were
Y'all. It is so good its a great mix of funny and serious- extremely fun to see dean as like a base bisexual
"Dean and Castiel pose as a couple to gain access to a gated community known as 'The Glen', a pleasant if secretive location that the boys believe might be linked to several dead bodies showing up over the years bearing signs of ritualistic sacrifice. All seems well until Dean's memory is affected from an incident during a solo exploration, leaving Dean convinced that their cover story is true. Castiel is left trying to resolve their case without taking advantage of an increasingly enthusiastic Dean"
While You Were Sleeping
this is basically just the movie but replacing sandra bullock with cas. this is my comfort movie and imo, one of the most perfect rom coms. the fic isn’t finished but i still have the tab open on my phone and i will straight up go back and re read it when i need a pick me up.
aus/rewrites
The Harvelle Gospels: Offscript
i know everyone ever ( @jewishcharliebradbury ) has recommended this fic. and for good reason go fucking read it
“The Apocalypse is averted, the angels are in Heaven, and Jo is free from the threat of possession. Somehow it couldn't be farther from a happy ending.“
absolute riots
An Ineffably Profound Bond
i honestly would have put this in the finale fix it section! look. i know. i know you've been burned by crossover fics before. but this is Thee good omens/spn fic you want. its funny as hell and immensely satisfying. im weak for everyone working together tropes and that is this
"After Chuck sets 'The End' in motion, the remaining members of TFW make a miraculous escape. Not willing to waste any time, Castiel comes up with a plan to travel to one of the other worlds to try and get help from the angels there, but after a fight with Dean, it's the hunter who gets sent into an alternate universe,with seemingly no hope of return.
When a mysterious human with a heavenly weapon shows up in Aziraphale's shop, he and Crowley learn that their world is not the only one. Now it is up to them to decide whether or not they want to join forces with the human and help him save his world or simply find a way to send him home."
Somebody Up There Likes Me by @lafilleredige
cas is hit with a spell that turns his vessel into a woman, hijinks and sexuality crises ensue etc etc sam is a supportive and bitchy little brother and its all SO fucking funny and also. horny as hell i love it i love it i LOVE it
“’Dean doesn’t want to talk about your breasts, it’s making him uncomfortable because he hasn’t acknowledged the complex fluidity of human sexuality.’“
Stray Cat Strut
a long crack fic that IS one of the funniest things i’ve ever read and i can’t explain why. it’s so ooc but its so funny that i don’t care. if you need a laugh you gotta read this
"Sam and Cas are immediately in love with the adorable kitty they find outside the bunker door, and occupy their time planning how to convince Dean--who they believe is off sulking after a botched hunt--to let them keep their cat. Along the way, Dean learns to use a litter box and hears some confessions he maybe wasn’t supposed to hear, all while realizing just how much he loves Castiel.
Now all Dean has to do is convince Cas and Sam their new pet cat is actually him before they do something crazy--like neuter him!"
canon compliant or slight canon divergence
Give
by @doublestuffedimpala post season 7 episode 7, kind of ambiguous ending but truly a cas is happy to bleed for the winchesters fic
Punch Like Bones
short, post 5x04 homoerotic moment that i wish we’d gotten
#lmao please interact with this i spent so much time on it#i had to go onto desktop for this#ill keep adding on to it#my fic recs#fic rec#spn fic rec#deancas fic recs#charlie.txt
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Ever spend the last 12 days intending to blog every day and then never finding the time to do so? Yup, that’s where I’ve been at. Straight up in survival mode over here.
My MIL left on Monday and while my days since have been spent constantly putting out fires managing two crying children (often at the same time), I’m oh so flipping happy to be on my own again :) I understand that it’s important for family to come and visit and get to know their grandchildren. While I’m happy we all had that time together I’m glad to now have the time to figure out life as a family of four without an extra person in the house.
Kevin started a new rotation that has him gone six days a week from 4 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. (or later) so all he has time to do is come home and sleep. Poor guy :( I went from having both him and either my mom or MIL home all the time to now doing everything alone. It’s a lot but I’m surviving!
Here’s a rundown of some of the highlights from the last 12 days.
Aug passed her hearing test! Woooo!
Thanks to the MIL here, Kevin and I were able to go (BY OURSELVES) out to dinner, out to brunch, on several walks, and two grocery shopping dates! Such a dreeaaammm!
My MIL strongly dislikes/is scared of my cat, Saki. As such, on one of the days I was gone at appointments with Aug for six hours she didn’t let him downstairs. Due to this he pooped in my bedroom on the carpet :( To my MIL’s credit, she thought he had a litterbox upstairs, but no. That’s why I’m always letting him down and opening up the bathroom with the litterbox in it for him all the time. Pay attention, woman.
While we’re on the MIL rant, I’ll keep going with two more stories.
I’ve put Erp to sleep every night of her life except for when I was at the hospital delivering Aug. We have a bedtime routine that I look forward to every day and one that I find to be an intimate experience that only we share. One night that I’m putting her down, I come out to find the kitchen and dining room still a mess with Kevin and his mom sitting on the couch (she has Aug in her arms so she gets a pass). But I’m frustrated and start to clean. At one point I look up to ask if MIL can turn on the monitor (that I know was turned off before I went in to start bedtime) and I see she’s looking at it watching Erp. I ask her if that means she watched us while we were in there. She replied that she had. I reply, “Great.” Drop what I’m washing in the sink and run upstairs slamming the door shut behind me. I go to pump and cool off. I come downstairs 40 minutes later to tell her I overreacted but also that I felt she had invaded our privacy. She tells me, through tears, that it reminded her of her time with Kevin when he was a baby. I get it, but still. Kevin said had he known she was watching he would have told her to stop since I made it VERY clear to him early on in Erp’s life that I don’t like being watched on the monitor when I’m in there with her. I guess I should have told her about my preference in advance but I never thought I’d need to spell it out like that.
For the last week she was here, she had Chicago Med on the TV constantly, at relatively loud volume. Please note that we never ever ever have the TV on at our house unless we’re actively watching something, and if that happens it’s 99% of the time just me watching and I do it for an hour at night when everyone is asleep. If we need background noise, music is playing. She would just sit on the couch and watch her show talking about gunshots, premature birth, and whatever kind of medical drama while my kids are running around. I’m sorry, but I thought you were here to connect with your grandkids? So while she sat on the couch, I would engage and play with Erp for hours. Cool cool cool.
Please note that despite all this she’s a lovely woman and a great grandmother and mother and MIL. I came into her visit already dreading more company, and I’m sure I’m still surging with hormones from the pregnancy (right? or am I just this way always now?). All this to say that I was not begging her to stay and getting used to taking care of both kids on my own wasn’t that hard since I’d basically been doing it during her entire visit.
Okay, let’s take a breather and talk about other things.
Do you remember the 21st night of September? I DO because my 6 week old slept 12 straight hours! GLORIOUS.
After finishing listening to Billy Summers (loved it!) I decided to undertake Stephen King’s hefty novel, The Stand. I’d been scared to attempt it ever since I read 100 pages of it in 9th grade before deciding to pick it up again later. I guess 23 years later did the trick because I’m thoroughly enjoying it! I’ve learned that audiobooks are the only way I can get through any material lately. It makes me want to go out on walks and take drives so I can listen to MoAr! I’m already 10 hours into the 48 hour novel. Although, I gotta say, it certainly feels strange to read about a deadly pandemic (written in 1978) during this current pandemic.
After two months since I initially contacted the nearby school/daycare, I finally followed up to get Erp on a waitlist. There are six kids ahead of her. We took a tour on Friday and I want her to get in so so badly, hopefully before we move in June! It would be such a great place for her to socialize and learn!
If any of the above isn’t telling, my hormones are all over the place. I know this because my face has decided to rage in all the redness and acne. So fun!
Thanks to getting my house back, I’ve been able to establish a routine for us which includes going on stroller walks every day with the girls! We’ve already made it over 37 miles this month! Loving the outside time and knowing I’m working hard at my weight loss efforts.
Despite being on maternity leave, this past Friday I was invited to participate in an EA (virtual) offsite with my team at work! It was great to be able to see everyone again! At the end we participated in a cooking class where they mailed me a box of all the ingredients to cook a NY Strip Steak and Corn Succotash! Deeeelicious!
Given Erp’s increasing interest and ability at walking, I attempted a walk with her the other day, sans stroller! I wore Aug in a wrap on my chest and held Erp’s hand as we walked around the neighborhood. We walked a good 1/4 of a mile! Everything was fine until we made it back to our walkway and she refused to climb up the step to head back inside. Like, laid flat on the ground refusal. Since Aug was on me I couldn’t really just grab Erp and muscle her back inside. She wouldn’t listen to any request of mine to go inside so we had a power struggle of what felt like 15 minutes but I’m sure was closer to 5. She would try to crawl around my feet (into the bushes even to get around me), and any time I tried to lift her up she’d pull herself to the ground crying. Eventually I tucked Aug’s flopping head into the fabric of the wrap so I could lean down and grab my tantruming child and carry her inside. I want to be able to keep up with these excursions but not sure how to do so if she continues to rebel like this. Like, if she did this farther from home we’d be up a creek. Hopefully she’ll improve in time?
OKAY! Hopefully we can now get back to our regularly scheduled blogging so a massive update like this won’t be necessary again :) Thanks for taking time out of your day to catch up with me!
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DaveFarts - Episode 7 “The Noisy Roommate” [Episode List] Tim spends the night at Dave’s house and they have to share the latter’s full-sized bed. As they go to sleep, Dave soon makes sure that it’s gonna be a noisy night.
The episode is inspired by TheFartingWolf’s video/premise of the same name. I had a similar idea sometime ago but I figured I could just combine my story and the video for, I don’t know, a real 4D experience? With that said, I’m ready to delete this story should TheFartingWolf want me to do so.
Also keep in mind that this is not a story about the IRL person who made the video linked above, but rather two fictional characters.
The Noisy Roommate
“Thanks for having me over, bro.” I thanked Dave, while rummaging through my backpack.
This was not the first time I slept at Dave’s house of course, not even the first during our 20s, but this time it truly was a last-second solution. This is not like the shower emergency from sometime ago, though water is involved again somehow.
“No problem dude. I needed someone to help me finish this case of beer anyway.” he said, cracking one open and throwing the can at me, which I managed to catch.
“Always up for it.” and I took a long sip of that cold nectar.
“I’m sorry you almost drowned.” he joked.
“Yeah it was terrible.” I played along.
Truth is that some pipe in my house literally exploded and water flooded the entire apartment. It’s not as bad as it sounds: the leak was already fixed but I still needed a place to stay for the night. I didn’t even have time to call anyone as Dave simply showed up at my place and drove me here.
We sat on the couch to watch some bad movie as we kept chatting about some random stuff and having beer. We were both dressed casually, Dave sporting a pair of grey shorts and a black t-shirt, outfits that doubled as our pajamas, even though Dave was probably gonna sleep shirtless as he usually does.
And again, as usual, I felt some familiar vibrations going through the couch. I rolled my eyes and chuckled.
“Straight to the point, I see.” I commented.
He laughed and slightly leaned, ripping the rest of the 7-seconds rip towards me, without the couch muffling the sound now. I always appreciate how my bud is so casual about my kink and that fart, needless to say, was impressive, despite being “small” for my bro’s incredibly high standards. Also, he basically almost always farted like this even before he knew about my fetish which, again, led me to appreciate more how his attitude towards me didn’t change at all -and he knows very well the “side effects” his blasts give me.
I pitched a tent in my own shorts but I managed to hide it by adjusting my position, crossing my legs. Whether Dave noticed that or not was irrelevant, as he kept ripping a couple of more loud toots.
We resumed watching the TV for like one hour until we both decided it was time to turn into corpses for the rest of the night, so we went upstairs, the beers making us a bit dizzy but nothing serious.
I was familiar with Dave’s house so I headed directly to the guest room, my bud right behind me.
I stepped into the dark room, turned the light on, and I saw it, staring at me from the bed.
Brave Dave was the first one to run away, pulling me outside of the guest room as I hastily shut the door. Team work!
“Okay, Tim. Were you cursed or something?” he asked.
On the bed we both just saw a huge spider, the biggest we’ve ever seen in real life. While we’re not properly arachnophobic, it’s not like *we like* sleeping with spiders hanging around.
We were both manly adult men and so we were both very afraid of the eight-legged monster sneaking out to murder us in our sleep, or simply existing, so the two of us rushed to the kitchen and came back with tons of duct tape to block up every nook and cranny of the guest room door.
“Alright.” I said. “I’ll just use the couch downstairs.”
“Nah bro.” Dave commented. “My bed’s full-sized. You can join me.” and he walked towards his room.
I needed some time to process what he just said. Me and Dave shared a bed many times but that was always before I came out to him. I wonder how-
“Look, I hate to interrupt your inner monologue about self-pity and all” he said, kind of annoyed. “But can we just for once skip your awkward bullshit and head to bed? Thanks.” and then disappeared into his room.
I chuckled a bit as I realized how “formulaic” I was being lately when he more than once proved to me that he had no issues with me, so I followed him.
The bedroom was dimly lit and he was already lying on his side of the bed, shirtless, showing off some mild pecs and an overall nice-looking figure.
“I gotta warn you: I’m a screamer in bed.” I jokingly said, lying down on my side of the bed, just by the window.
“Oh yesss, scream harder, daddy.” he played along, laughing.
We were both lying down, mindlessly scrolling stuff on our smartphones and reading articles. That only lasted a couple of minutes.
“Well, time for your goodnight kiss” Dave announced, quickly wrapping his legs around me and planting his butt in grey shorts in my face.
I was still lying down as the fart erupted, almost making me deaf for how loud it was, so up close and personal. I couldn’t see the ceiling very well as Dave’s hairy legs mostly obstructed the view. The blast didn’t even smell that much, which made me assume it was on command rather than fully natural; not that it didn’t stink at all of course.
The beer-powered fart lasted about 10 seconds. He wiggled his ass on my face a bit and then let me go/breathe. “I thought you were a screamer.” he teased and went back on his side of the bed, which almost looked queen-sized.
I didn’t say anything and I simply turned my back to him, trying to be annoyed and failing miserably, feeling a faint scent in my nostrils every time I breathed.
“Looks like there’s a leak in my house as well.” he said, right before ripping another thunderous blast, this time far from me. I tried to ignore that, but I still pitched a tent anyway. I didn’t even turn around: I’m not going to let the teaser win!
After a couple of minutes, Dave turned the lights off and the room fell into darkness, the only source of light being a digital alarm clock inches from my face. 1:34 AM, not as late as I thought, but my body didn’t care and I fell asleep almost immediately.
2:44 AM I hear a loud noise and I woke up, only opening my eyes, the alarm clock greeting my sight in a room of pure darkness. Took me a couple of moments to realize that, of course, it was Dave farting, this time in his sleep. I turned around, noticing Dave’s grey pants as my eyes adjusted to the dark.
3:01 AM I was almost asleep as another fart snapped me back to reality, this time even louder. Again I instinctively turned around and stared at my bud’s butt as the blast erupted. Those felt very airy and pretty much odourless I think. I thought whether I should wake him up but I didn’t want him to think that I was listening to his sleep-farting, which is literally what I was doing sadly.
At this point I was playing the jump-rope between being asleep and awake, every time fully waking up because of Dave farting like crazy. After many farts, the blast at 3:59 AM felt particularly powerful and “meaty”, which made me look again at my friend’s butt, somehow noticing his pants moving because of the air being blasted out. A powerful rip that lasted around 11 seconds I believe. Was I dreaming? Similar farts then followed.
4:59 AM This one almost scared me as when I thought it was over it instead became louder and louder, as if it was a train passing nearby. It had a great sound and flow, one of the best I ever heard from my bro.
5:32 AM Another peak in farting activity. Falling asleep at this point was impossible. Each moment of silence was just the quiet before the storm and I completely gave up on the idea of resting that night.
6:21 AM This one was so loud and powerful that even Dave woke up for a moment. He simply sighed in relief though, but when even the farter wakes up, you know the fart was incredible.
6:36 AM A similar blast greeted the first lights of the dawn.
Even more powerful rips were heard at 7:16 AM and 7:33 AM. At around 8:01 AM, Dave finally woke up by himself, one of his loudest farts acting as natural alarm clock.
That was a long night and as I heard Dave going downstairs to do his morning routine, I figured it was finally time to catch up some sleep, but ironically enough the silence made it more difficult as I was now so used to his blasts that they felt like white noise, fetish or not.
That teasing bastard won and wasn’t even done.
After merely 30 minutes, I heard him jump on the bed. I was facing the window, pretending to be asleep, but I knew he was standing on the bed, towering over me.
“Rise and shine, roommate!”
He squatted over my head, still sporting those grey shorts, and ripped a huge, loud and proud natural morning fart all over my face. I’m kind of glad I was already awake, ‘cause I would have been scared to death by that gas thunder. Where was all of this gas coming from? How was he not done?
I screamed, annoyed, and pushed him on his side of the bed, my hands touching his still-farting ass, the stench being this time unbearable. I heard him laugh like an idiot as he lied next to me, keeping one of his legs up as he finished ripping that loud, long fart.
“So you are a screamer!” he joked.
“And you fart in your sleep.” I replied.
“As if you’d mind me doing that.”
Whether he was aware or not of what happened during the night, Dave was as usual so comfortable around me that he just didn’t care and it was all just a big gassy prank for him. So I just lied there, awake, chatting with my bud about my house looking like Venice, so tired and so exhausted that I didn’t even bother about the spider staring back at us from the ceiling.
End of Episode 7
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Two Shorten the Road
part 1
joel dawson x reader
warnings: cussing? idk, bad writing.....fluff, cuteness, monsters(is this a warning), mentions of death, SPOILERS
word count: 2154
prompt: when your best friend decides to leave your colony to go find the love of his life, you decide to join him on his journey even if you aren’t so happy about where this journey is going
Welp I did it, I took it into my own hands. I am writing a joel dawson series. Because we👏need 👏more👏joel👏fics👏 it’s basically the movie, almost the same script but obviously slightly different…ENJOY! <3
No one in my generation or later had a typical upbringing, I mean some of us did but then the world ended. This type of thing sounds straight out of some apocalyptic movie, but we basically live in one now. Agatha 616, an asteroid heading straight for earth, I know, so original. So we all came together and did what we do best, blow things up. Yup, we blew up teh asteroid, and humanity was saved! We thought. But here’s the thing about rockets, they are made of a bunch of chemical compounds which eventually rained back down on earth. Suddenly there were these Aileen creatures that mutated and started eating us. Ants, lizards, roaches, crocodiles, you name it. Our president was even killed by a giant moth. Ya….not so original now huh? We suddenly need tanks to kill ants, oh man I remember the good old days when a shoe would do just fine. Sometimes even the tanks didn’t work. Eventually the really big ones and our military took each other out and we lost 95% of the human population in a year! Those of us who survived hid, bunkers, caves, panic rooms, all around the world. So for the last seven years I’ve been hiding in an underground bunker. It’s really not as bad as it sounds, and it’s better than getting eaten alive. It’s a great group of people and we all love each other.
“Are you sure they’re asleep?”
“Who?”
“Y/N and joel!”
“Oh ya I’m sure”
“Joel? Y/n?”
“He’s asleep”
Actually we are both awake. Me and my best friend joel have kinda mastered faking being asleep. Our beds are right across from each other so we normally just lie there and make stupid faces at each other. We are the only two single people in our bunker. Nice huh? Joel is my best friend. I met him when I joined the colony. He’s the sweetest. It’s funny cause everyone thinks we should just have sex already because that’s literally all everyone else does. But we are way above that. Anyway, joel is in love with his girlfriend from before the colony, her name is Aimee. With one “I” and two “e”s. He loves to talk about her, he writes her letters. So in reality, I am the only one who is not in love in this bunker. I’ve never had a boyfriend, ever, even before the world ended.
We don’t really get any sleep. The moaning kinda keeps us awake. I got up and out of my bed and headed for the kitchen. I heard Joel’s bed creak and then his footsteps as he followed behind me. Another annoying thing about being down here is that to get to the kitchen from my room, you have to walk though other people’s bedrooms. Oh shit, they are busy, why would they leave their door open. Me and Joel stopped.
“Oh” joel and I said in unison
“Hey Y/N! Hey Joel!” Ava said
“Oh hey Ava” Joel said, we didn’t dare look over to our left.
“Y/N how’s it going?” Tim asked
“T-totally good tim, h-how are you doing” I asked
“Yeah, good” he responded
“I uh we couldn’t sleep” said Joel looking at the ceiling
“Ya we know the feeling” Ava said with a laugh
“Yeah probably not for the…..same reasons” joel said looking straight ahead
“Your guyses door was open, did you…did you know that?” I asked
“Yeah we know” they said
I shook my head and knitted my eyebrows together
“Okay” joel trailed off
Ever since Tim’s parents were eaten by a swarm of termites he and Ava have gotten really close, in every way.
“Okay, goodnight” joel said as we walked
Basically everyone is coupled up down here, a baby was born last winter! Welcome to the apocalypse kid. Ok if we ever get out of this, that would be an awesome story to tell your kids. “Oh ya I was born in an underground bunker doing a monster apocalypse” “yes exactly like World War Z but with bugs bigger than a 5 story building”. I mean come on.
So your probably wonder how the hell we get food, we’ll we have a cow. Gurdy. Gurdy is great. We also have a hunting party that brings back whatever they can from the surface. It’s gotten harder and harder, cause we ran out of bullets. And facing one of those things with a handmade weapon is just as hard as it sounds. It’s very very difficult. I go with them….sometimes. I still get scared. But I’ve been out quite a lot, especially compared to my man joel over here. I’ve been out maybe 30 times, he’s been out…maybe once, or not even. He’s the chef of the bunker. He makes super good Minestrone.
Me and joel like to hang out with Mavis. A robot. Yup. Not much for conversation, her batter is shot. Just like every other mavis I would imagine. When I’m not hunting we hang out with her. But sometimes I just go read. Reading and joel keep me sane. I mean sometimes joel drives me insane but I still love him. I have quite the collection of books too! I’ve got Emma by Jane Austen, a couple random ones that we found, all the hunger games and Harry Potter books, some mysteries that stopped being mysteries after a while, and then of course some smutty romance books for personal entertainment.
Joel likes to say that his thing is target practice. He has never hit the target but ya know, gotta entertain yourself. I think his thing is drawing though, he has this book that he draws in from Aimee. It’s really cool actually. He’s really good.
I sat watching Joel as he tried to hit the target, laughing a little every time he missed. It was cute how hard he tried.
“Shut up” he said shaking his laugh away
I laughed again, but then suddenly the lights started flickering. You could hear screeches and creeks echoing through the bunker. Joel turned to look at me. Worry and determination in his eyes. We both scrambled out of the room and into the kitchen where everyone was preparing.
“Hustle, hustle people we’ve gotta move”
I turned to look at Joel but then realized that he wasn’t next to me. Where did he go? Worry flooded through me. Suddenly the clanking of our weapon started behind me.
“Hey guys!” Joel said as he rammed into the railing, I shook my head. “Guys! I’ve got the weapons” he smiled at me
A few people walked over to him taking them out of his hands
“Stay” said Tim
“W-what?” Joel asked looking around in confusion
Everyone was talking and barking orders “grab what you need and let’s go! Y/N you coming?”
My eyes shot open “yes! Yup!” I jumped up and grabbed the bow and arrow from Joel.
“W-what's happening?” He asked innocently “what’s going on?”
“There’s a breach” said Tim
“What do you mean? Like inside the bunker breach?!” He asked
“Yes joel! Now come on!” I told him, patting him on the pack as I followed the others
He followed me and watched the plan get arranged
“Anna, Y/N and I will engage. Anderson and Tom plank him”
“Plank him, ya ok where do you guys need me? You want me to uh come through the rear or..?” Joel asked eagerly
“I don’t think your going to pass this joel” I told him
“Pass what? You guys need help, let me help” said clutching his crossbow
“You gonna make me say it?” said Sam
“Say what?!” God he was so adorably clueless
“You can’t handle it joel, your shook” said Sam, we all began getting into positions
“Ya ok, yes so you guys don’t get scared..ever?” He asked still getting ready to fight
“We get scared, we all get scared joel, but you get really scared” said Sam
“They are trying to make you feel bad joel” I said sweetly, trying to calm him down
“We love you joel”
“But your a liability”
“Ok why did that speech feel so rehearsed? And what about Y/N? She’s like…ya know?” He said bobbing his head
“Joel-“ suddenly the bunker shook and the lights flicked again
“Ok 30 meters out! Let’s move!” And we were off
Leaving joel and some others behind. You could hear the growling of whatever we were up against
I followed the others and listened carefully. I was freaking shaking. Don’t ask how I got sucked into becoming one the the hunters. Kinda just happened and I was just-
“OH SHIT!” I heard someone yell, it was too dark to see. Someone was gone, that thing took them. I couldn’t even see it. Oh fuck my life. Everyone began scattering, running away from the monster. I stopped running to take a breath, when I realized I was alone. Nicely done Y/N. The lights kept flickering. I heard something blow up in the distance.
“Conned? Conner?” I heard a whisper, one I knew all too well. Shit, joel. I ran toward the sound, and had no idea I was also running toward certain death. I stopped running. There it was, that thing. I’d never seen this before. I didn’t recognize it. I stayed silent, not moving at all. It slowly crawled over a shower curtain. Oh fuck. He was going toward joel! I quickly grabbed my bow and arrow and shot it. Right though the face. Next to its….eye I guess you could call it. Joel stood there, frozen.
I slowly walked over to him “Joel, hey are you ok?” I asked as I slipped my hand into his. He was trembling. Tears ran down his cheeks. He has a bad freezing problem, so I've been helping him work on it.
About an hour later I sat with Joel, still holding his hand as he stared out into space. We could hear everyone talking. How could this have happened?
“It ripped through steal”
“Anderson and I resealed the Breach point, nothings getting in that way again”
“But why did it happen?”
I tried to toon it out, and I hoped Joel did too.
“Joel, do you wanna talk about it?” I asked squeezing his hand, he looked so sad, which just crushed me
He shook his head
“Ok….” I nodded, I leaned into hug him but was interrupted by his voice
“How far away is Aimee's colony?” He asked
I pulled back, looking at him confused. The talking stopped and everyone look at him
“What?” Tim asked
“Aimee’s colony, how far away is it?” He repeated
“About 85 miles” he said as he furrowed his brows
“How long will it take to get there?”
“What do you mean joel?” I asked leaning closer to him
“Just humor me, how long?” He insisted
“7 days” said Tim
“Someone who’s armed and trained would hardly last 50miles, but you…joel” Ava said, I felt bad for him, he really didn’t deserve any of this
“Alright” Tim continued “now I need volunteers”
“I’m gonna go” joel said
No one said anything, they just stared
“It’s an impossible journey joel” said Tim, crossing his arms
Joel stood up, moving around my chair. “No im serious…I love you guys but there’s only one person in this world who ever truly made me happy and she’s only 85 miles away” he said strongly “I’m gonna go see her” I could see his mind was made up
God he was such a romantic, how could you not love this guy? Sure it hurts when your best friend tells you that you didn’t make him truly happy. Especially when you maybe sorta kinda have a crush on him.
He let out a breath “woah, that felt awesome” he said as he walked off to start packing
I stood there for a second processing and thinking, but then suddenly my mouth took over and well….
“I’m coming with you!” I said, he froze “I mean you can’t leave me here with these middle aged people, and your my best friend so” I shrugged
“I’ll come back for you I promise” he walked over to me “I can’t let you put yourself in even more danger” he said grabbing my arms
“I can’t let you put yourself in danger knowing that I could have helped protect you” I said, he stared blankly at me
I smiled “o-ohK…then I guess…” he trailed off
“Cool I’ll go pack” I skipped past him. Was I scared? Hell yes. But like I said, I needed to help joel and protect him in every way I can. And sure I wasn’t so happy that he was returning to his long lost love but if it made him happy then I would live. And anyway, two do shorten the road.
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In Which I Project
Jon has some sort of neurodivercence and it is making work hard.
@janekfan
cw Jon is really really getting down on himself about what his brain is making hard, so cw for that and internalized ablism relating to things like rsd and executive dysfunction. Jon also takes this out on his coworkers, because that is how Jon can be. This chapter is a bit heavy with a hopeful end. If there is a chapter two, it will have a lot more fluff, promise. (The reason Jon doesn't have a diagnosis is because I am projecting and I am not 100% what all is going on in my brain, this is just my experience.) Also mentions of alcohol and food.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Why is he like this? Why can’t he just fucking be a normal, functional person. Why does his brain behave like a backed up, broken drain. He can’t think today.
He’s been staring at his computer since 6:30 this morning. He’s been here eight hours. And it isn’t like he isn’t getting anything done. But it’s not what he meant to do.
He was going to check his email, record a statement, do some filing, check Martin’s work, then do some follow ups and check his email again before going home.
Well. He checked his email. Then he noticed a flaw in what he filed yesterday so he had to fix that. Then the loo was out of toilet tissue and he had to go chase down that, because the building’s maintenance tends to skip the Archives half the time. (Which is usually fine because it’s used by four fairly neat people, but doesn’t help when they run out of things). Then Elias had requested a meeting. And that sent Jon spiraling because he wasn’t supposed to have a meeting today. That was supposed to be tomorrow and while it’s nice that he doesn’t have to do that tomorrow it threw off his whole day and now he just feels like he’s going to cry or pass out or break his jaw by clenching it so hard.
He can’t do it.
He tries to make himself record a statement. He does.
But he can’t open the file.
He can’t.
He wants to scream in frustration. Which, of course, is when Martin walks in.
Jon doesn’t mean to yell. He really doesn’t. He doesn’t know where this vitriol comes from. Was he always like this? He doesn’t even remember what he says, just the acrid taste of bitter words on his tongue.
When Martin flees, he tries to open the file again but the color and whine of the lights breaks down on him and his dragging fatigue.
He tries to loosen his jaw. Wiggles it side to side. It pops, but ultimately goes back to tense. It’s starting to give him a headache.
He can’t do this. It’s barely lunch. He’s gotten nothing done.
He tries to open this statement.
He opens his email instead.
The library wants his books back.
He’s tired. He means to gather his books and bring them up, but he ends up cleaning his desk and making notes on half researched statements he forgot about yesterday.
That puts him off balance. He hates not finishing. It makes him feel on edge. Like the world is going to drop from below his feet at any moment. Like, in forgetting, the world has already dropped from beneath him, and he’s been walking on empty air and delusions. And if this has already happened, how can he be sure it didn’t happen before.
He finishes cleaning and files the loose statements away.
He finally remembers to drink some water.
He rubs his eyes against unshed tears and exhaustion. It’s too bright. Too loud.
He takes his books up to the library.
Hannah in the library tells him to remind Tim to return his books, she he does that.
Jon is. Edging towards …probably a nervous breakdown, if he’s honest with himself, by the time he stands before Tim’s desk.
And Tim isn’t going to relinquish his books without a fight.
“You can give Martin a rest or I’ll tell Hannah that you lost her books.” Tim crosses his arms.
It’s reasonable, Jon knows. He’s behaved childishly. This is more than warranted. But, unfortunately his brain isn’t working. He’s caught up in the disappointment in Tim’s tone, and again, the floor drops from beneath his feet. Stomach dropping. He tries to convince himself that, no, Tim doesn’t hate him. All he as to do is agree or apologize which he should do anyhow. But. But what comes out of his mouth is something along the lines of, “Tim, I’ll thank you not to try to run my department. This is hardly professional behavior. Who do you think Hannah is more likely to believe?”
This wouldn’t have been so bad, if not for the force and anger in his tone. Misplaced confusion and frustration and exhaustion.
He turns on his heel before Tim finds the words to argue.
This is it.
He’s ruined everything.
Tim will never talk to him again and Sasha won’t either because he was rude to Tim. And of course Tim’s mad at him because he was a prick to Martin.
It’s all his fault. He should have been able to stay on task. He’s an adult, damnit!
He finally opens the file but he hitches a sob before he can squeeze the introduction out of his tight jaw.
He can’t do this.
He can’t do this job.
He can’t sleep at night and work all day. Can’t even feed himself or get to the store once a week.
How the fuck did he make it through school. He’s a worthless mess.
Georgie knew it.
He wants to scream.
They’re talking about him. They must be. That shouldn’t matter to him. He’s their boss. Besides, he was right even if he was rude about it. Martin does make irritating mistakes. He could have been more professional about handling it, but he still had to say something. And Tim. Tim had no right to bargain that way. He has a responsibility to the library, and trying to use it as leverage against Jon is ridiculous.
But at the same time. There are the closest he has… had to friends. Tim was his friend. Right?
Had he made that up too? Has some memory of some earlier misdeed fallen out of the torn hole in the pocket of his memory where he looses things like hours, tasks, sleep, meals, meetings, half-finished statements on his desk.
Why is he like this?
He gets some more work done. But none of the stuff on his list.
He tries to make himself read the statement, again. But he doesn’t.
It’s late. He’s left with lingering taste of disappointment and discontent.
Today’s been a wash.
He looks angrily at his scribbled to do list on the neon sticky note, from the stack Tim gave him back in Research. Nothing’s been crossed off. Statement has been circled twice. He rubs at his eyes. Tries to wipe away the tension headache. Remembers to take a drink of water, finally. It’s been hours. It does help, a little, soothes some of the anxious desperation and crushing despair. He wonders how much of it would be soothed if he got himself a hot meal. How would it compare to the relief of finished that statement.
But…. he won’t be able to go home and sleep if he doesn’t finish, because he won’t be able to relax until he gets it done.
He allows himself 5 minutes to cry. He sets a timer.
It doesn’t help. Doesn’t even offer the release he’d been hoping for.
He dries his eyes with his sleeve.
He reads the statement. And scolds himself for taking all day to get to it. It wasn’t hard. It wasn’t even that bad. It was a foolish statement that reeked of mischief and falsehood. And he wasted his whole day avoiding it.
He cries again, then. No timer.
He leaves his office. He’s finally done with the day. It’s edging on 21:00. He feels like shit. Of course he hadn’t brought a lunch, why would he have enough brain cells to do that? He did make a halfhearted attempt at breakfast. But that was a lot of hours ago, and he’d barely managed a few bites before his anxious stomach had stopped him. He doesn’t feel hungry now, but he knows he is by the shakiness if his limbs, the over-lightness in his head, the irritation at himself still thick in his veins.
He still has to get himself home.
Then he hears footsteps on the stairs. He thinks about going back to his office, but the idea of going back in there makes his head spin. He’s spent too long in his office. Christ, he just wants to sleep. Just wants to be in bed without having to get home and make dinner or order dinner or shower or get in bed. He just wants to be there. Just wants to be there and sleep of eternity. He angrily brushes away a stray tear.
Of course, it’s too late now to try to hide, and eh certainly can’t hide how rumpled and tear-stained he is. So he stands there dumbly, some archaic part of his brain reasoning that if he stays still, maybe no one will see him.
Tim sees him. Tim is laughing on his phone, pleasantly buzzed, and fumbling for the jacket he most likely forgot before going for drinks. At least it’s still fairly early. At least Tim still cares enough about his job to wrap it up at a decent hour. He spots Jon, and hesitates. Jon doesn’t look like he’s doing well. He trails off mid chuckle. “Sorry Sash, I’ve gotta go. I’ll talk to you later, yeah? Had fun tonight.”
What does he say to Jon, who’d been a right ass earlier. Jon, who is now teary and frozen, staring at him with exhaustion and mortification.
He makes a decision, making a conscious choice to make himself smaller and softer. “Hey, come back to mine, I’m going to buy you dinner. As my boss, you’re a prick, and I haven’t forgotten that. But as my friend, you need a curry. Maybe we can sort out my asshole boss and my upset friend at the same time, yeah?”
#the magnus archives#tma#jonathan sims#tim stoker#timothy stoker#my words#my fic#hurt/ comfort#cw food#cw alcohol#cw internalized ableism
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