#it's almost NY I need to save up as much as I can

[hwashitape]

aktk scraps bc Kei's FS is stressing me out

[halliestinks]

Not enough butters appreciation smh 😔 since ny sweet boy deserves better can I pls get headcanons of a reader who has like a MASSIVE crush on him and is super affectionate and sweet with him and he's not used to it

Butters x Reader who has a Massive Crush on him

a/n: YES PLS MORE BUTTERS REQUESTS!!! I agree 100% he doesn’t get enough appreciation and he’s literally one of my favourite characters (apart from clyde) 🙁🙁

• you’ve always been head over heels for butters, the way he’s so sweet and genuine to others and how he never has any underlying intentions when he’s being friendly to you always gave you butterflies

• he of course is completely oblivious to your crush, assuming you just think of him as really good pal

• butters isn’t used to someone being so openly affectionate towards him, so when you start showing him affection he gets confused and unsure how to react

• he often blushes and stammers, not knowing how to handle your overwhelming sweetness

• is soo confused, like somebody actually likes being around him???? AND they’re not just using him?????

• despite his confusion you are super patient. you know that butters may need time to adjust to your affectionate nature, you simply enjoy making him feel appreciated

• you despise how everyone uses him, constantly finding yourself sticking up for him even when he doesn’t realize he needs it

• you get so defensive whenever somebody exploits his naivety, though often times he reassures you that it’s okay and he is willingly helping whoever is taking advantage of him. (he doesn’t understand he’s just being used)

“butters just think about it before you agree, please? for me?”

“w—well alright…”

• it sometimes ends with you stopping him, while other times you aren’t so lucky. you make sure to tag along just in case something happens anyways

• complimenting him throughout the day is a must, it will successfully leave him feeling giddy and majorly boosts his confidence

• the first time it happened probably went like this;

“your smile is really cute :)”

“aw gee!! thanks y/n!!! you have a cute smile too!!!”

“☺️”

“…wait”

• takes a minute for him to realise what you just said. he literally NEVER gets compliments so it catches him off guard

• immediately goes red and fiddles with his thumbs as he usually does when he gets shy

• his reaction made you want to compliment him all the time, it irks you so much that he’s never really had much affection towards him

• you usually suggest places to hang out, like at an arcade or a restaurant, etc. he will agree to go no matter where it is, he’s just happy to have somebody who genuinely wants to be around him

• chilling at home together is equally as fun, watching movies while either you play with his hair or he plays with yours

• his parents adore you, they constantly ask if you want to come over for lunch/dinner. they’ll even make an exception for you to visit whenever butters is grounded

• one time you actually got grounded with butters for doing something silly, so you had to stay in his room for the entirety of your stay. you ended up having alot of fun that day, and you got closer to butters so you decide it was worth the grounding

• butters will sometimes surprise you with homemade gifts, or he’ll save up his money to buy you something you’ve mentioned wanting a few times

“do ya like it?? I made it ‘specially for you!!”

“…this is the nicest gift anyone has ever gotten me 😖”

“a—are you crying?!”

• your heart practically melts, it baffles you how somebody can be so pure and yet doesn’t get the love he deserves from others

• it doesn’t take long before he starts to realize just how much he enjoys your company, your sweetness and affection leaving him with a funny feeling in his stomach after hanging out. and he finds himself falling for you too

• I feel like he would probably confess to you almost immediately after he realizes his feelings for you

• you would be hanging out at his place playing a board game, until he can’t hold it in any longer and just straight up confesses

“I—I really like you y/n! like… I like— like you… do you uh.. like— like me too??”

“of course I like— like you too butters!!! I have for ages, I thought you already knew??”

“really?!? I had no idea!!!”

“and here I thought I made it so obvious.”

• the two of you start dating afterwards and nobody is surprised, almost everybody thought you were already a couple so!!

• anyways, he tries his hardest to be the best partner ever. and you do the same, making sure he knows how much you love him everyday <3

[labyrinthofsphinx]

Not sure if this has been asked before, but Vox in located in NY, they have the shack that Drift is in and Alastor has his place. But where do they spend most of their time? And is it hard juggling locations like that?

OOOOOO, a location question. I can't answer in full yet because not all the locations have been revealed....butttt I will mention a few that have been shown in the story, referenced in asks, and whatnot:

So, Alastor has a few locations associated with him and two homes. The first is the flat in New Orleans proper, over by the French Quarter. It is briefly seen from the outside in the epilogue to (Never) Let Me Go. Mimzy frequently stays here, and Al has given her a spare key to the upstairs just for herself. This is also the place Al lived after moving out of his childhood home, just as he was starting up his radio show and really digging into his, ahem, 'extracurricular' activities.

It was also around this time that the shack was built because, well, he needed a place for all his prep work. The shack is much, much further into the bayou and beyond where any normal person would dare to go. It's a very wild, almost haunting kind of place. The kid has only been here. I know it seems like it's been long time because all the asks...but most of them are non-canon to the story. They haven't actually had to leave the kid alone for much more than getting groceries. Thankfully, both have been able to push off having to jump right back to work in person. Ah, the days before people always knew where you were!

Al's other home, which he basically gave to his mother until her passing, is usually called the 'estate', and can be seen in the background of some asks, like this one. It originally belong to his father....buuttt for, ahem, reasons, he grew up basically owning the house and everything in it. We'll be seeing this more shortly, but it's kinda the base of operations for most of the going ons that shall be shown...unless said otherwise. You'll see why ;)

The bar location that shows up most often, and always when Husk is around, is the Black Cat casino and bar. Husk originally owned the joint until Al came and won it, and Husk, in a game of cards. We haven't seen it from the outside yet because it's something a little special that I'm saving for later ;))

We haven't seen too much of the Vox centered locations, but just be aware that he's got a house in almost every state, and a secret place in South America that he got after he realized just what kind of, um, 'tab' him and Al were drawing up, in case they ever needed a place to get away to.

He has a penthouse in NYC proper, with a view out to Central Park. The poolside was shown very, very briefly in a early funny one off, non-canon ask here. If he's got a long busy week, he'll usually stay there just for convenience.

His business building is also in NYC, and one of the offices was shown in (Never) Let Me Go Part I . It's also sometimes featured in asks, but is almost always shown from the view of the offices or his station set. His studio building is in Hollywood proper, and we'll see more of that further along the line.

Otherwise, the two other locations to keep in mind for now are the big, Gatsby-styled mansion on Long Island, shown briefly here, and the private island he owns with a small fortress on it, seen here.

Also, because it's kinda a location in of itself, especially where Vox is concerned, consider his yacht as another 'home' of his. It has enough bedrooms to count XD.

Whew! I think that's the short summary of all the ones shown or teased so far. But to get back to the original question:

Vox almost always visits Alastor, unless explicitly stated. Between Vel and his own obsession with work, he makes time for the things he really wants, like traveling down south to be with Al. After Alastor's mom passed, they're almost always at the estate whenever it's their usual downtime. Al doesn't have any real neighbors for miles and they can kinda do whatever they want there. Also, now that his mother is gone, Al doesn't mind using the place when getting his hands dirty...so long as his mother's things aren't disturbed. Again, we're going to see more of the interior shortly.

The shack is supposed to be just for their prep work and maybe the occasional sleepover that gets called a hunting trip. It's not really meant to serve as a home but...well, with the kid there, they haven't had much choice in the matter. That's why at the end of Something Wicked, when Al realizes Vox is attached now...yeah, probably time to bring the kid to a proper house (which is going to be Al's estate).

So, yeah, it's hard, but they make it work.

Thanks for the ask!

[just-my-type-x]

Tell Me How You Really Feel

Based on Would You by The Vamps

@bronwiebear-brad got u ♥️

"Can you, please, tell me what's wrong with you?", Brad asks me and i take a gulp of my cocktail, trying to ignore his question. "We can't spend the rest of our holiday like this", he sighs and picks up his towel, heading back to the hotel, leaving me on the beach. I sigh and try to take in the beauty of my view, but it angers me more than it relaxes me. I finish my drink, pick up the rest of the stuff and get inside too.

"Bradley", i close the door behind me and he turns around when he hears me, coming back from the balcony. "Why are we on holiday?", i walk past him towards the balcony to put my towel up to dry in the wind. I know he's standing behind me with his arms crossed at his chest, frowned, almost tapping his foot nervously on the floor.

"Trying to save what's left of us?", he answers with an angry tone, which i do not blame him for. "Tell me how you really feel about us, y/n. Because I'm really curious how much you actually want us together anymore.", he sits on the end of the bed, watching me carefully, his teary eyes analysing my face features. I stand in front of him, looking down in his direction, but ditching eye contact.

"How can you be curious of something like that, Bradley?", i scoff and turn my back to him, only to face him again when he starts to speak.

"You don't even call me love, babe, at least tell me to fuck off and i would!", he gets up and comes closer to me, but not as close as a boyfriend. We feel like strangers, act like them and soon, we will be strangers. "If i walked out that fucking door right now, would you even follow me? Would you even miss me or realise that we're done, we're over?", a tear almost falls off his cheek, but he's quick to run his hands over his face. I stay silent for a few seconds, too many, in fact. Brad scoffs and walks to the closet to take his clothes out.

"What are you doing?", i ask, uneasy

"I'm leaving. The trip is paid, you can take the rest of the days to make up your mind. I'll br in Birmingham waiting for your decision", he angrily tosses the clothes on the bed and i catch his arm, turning him to face me.

"Hey, stop. This is not who we are", i raise my voice and he raises his eyebrows.

"You decided this is us, y/n! I seem to not interest you anymore and let's be honest here, you haven't showed one gram of affection towards me ever since i came back from tour. I thought this vacation will be good for us, to get romantic again, but you're colder and colder by the day. Don't go wasting my time when you don't want yours to be wasted either", he takes off his beach shorts and gets dressed quickly in denim shorts and a loose shirt, closing up his suitcase. We fight, i pull him by the arm to stay with me, but i let him go soon after ny first try.

"Have a nice flight, Brad"

"Oh, so it's Brad now. I'll have the best one away from you.", he pushes the suitcase out of the room. "Take care", his voice breaks when closing the door behind him.

🥀🥀🥀

A month later I'm invited to James' birthday party, which i go to feeling like an imposter. I greet everyone and hug my closest friends, making small talk and earning a few apologetical statements from some of them about Brad and i's break up. I look down, trying to dodge eye contact, because lately i realised that the break up was not needed and i was just in a bad place, not being able to provide the relationship what was needed.

I see James and walk over to him, handing him his gift and tightly hugging him, ending up in a long conversation, that felt like hours, not briefly 10 minutes. Kirstie joins us soon after we finish talking about their wedding anniversary vacation.

"I think someone here wants to have some alone time with you", James takes a sip of scotch and points somewhere behind me and i see Brad ignoring a conversation, while he's looking straight in my eyes when i turn around. I excuse myself from James and Kirstie and walk towards him.

He takes me by my hand and walks me out of the big living room and we go right outside the house, in the small garden. I feel my whole body tense, wishing his hand was still in mine.

"I'm sorry", i burst out and Brad laughs

"I've played gamed enough to see through a lie", he takes a sip of gin and looks away from me

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Are you really sorry? You didn't bother to let me know you're still alive when you got home. I had to call your parents"

"I know", i whisper and look away from him

"You kno-, you know. Wow", he scoffs again and empties his glass, throwing it away from us, breaking somewhere on the pavement. "Did you talk to them about us?"

"i did, yeah. And i really meant it that I'm sorry", i lean on the wall on my back, looking straight ahead

"And what did you tell them? That we're holiday-ing in different parts of the world?", Brad lets out a small laugh and i know the joke was meant to break the tension. "Did your face light up the way it used to?", i look at him and a sad smile is on his face, watching me closely. He comes next to me and lays on the wall like me.

"No, i told them I fucked up. I couldn't lie to them, i was a wreck. I'm an asshole for not talking to you anymore, but i didn't deserve you or your answers. I'm sorry i wasn't able to bring what you needed into our relationship, the last months have been so hard for me. I guess i let distance break us apart and i didn’t even try to get you back ", my voice breaks and Brad is quick to hug me tight at his chest, the way he always used to when i was sad.

"We don't deserve each other from many points of view, but I'm down to try and change that. If you want that too", he kisses the top of my head and the last part is whispered, like he was too scared to find out my choice.

"I want that. I'm not ready to give you up, i swear", we hug one more time and we get inside the house, hand in hand, offering each other quick, cheeky smiles every now and then.

[creations-by-chaosfay]

BTW, my left wrist is feeling fantastic.

Last year, I accidentally injured it when getting outta bed. It bent too much and looked like a bone was pressing against my skin. The pain wasn't bad, but it looked wrong. So off the ER, and the nurse working triage paled and immediately had me get an xray, which showed no broken bones. They put me in a brace and sent me on my merry way. A couple weeks later, wrist still looked wrong, so I was put through physical therapy with excellent results.

Then, in December, pain shot up and I put the brace back on. I've been waiting to get an MRI for about a month now, but no one is picking up the referral. After speaking to a medical professional online, they told me to stop using the brace because it's likely making it worse. I took the brace off and OMG...y'all, I rarely use pain meds.

I build a tolerance to remove after just a couple uses, and there isn't a single prescription pain med I can use. I'm one of the weird folks who happens to be completely immune to opiates and morphine makes my pain exponentially worse. Tylenol messes with my liver, and ther is only one OTC pain med, Aleve, that works without making me violently ill. I save it for when the pain sits at around 7-9 on a scale of 1-10.

Been using Aleve almost daily for a week now, and now no longer need it. The pain only shoots up when I put any weight on it, like pushing things. I can wiggle my fingers without pain, grip, hold rulers in place while cutting fabric (but can't use my rulers grip yet due to the twisting ny wrist has to do), and fold laundry.

Yay!!!!!!!

I'll find out if I can handquilt without issue in a couple weeks. So far, it's looking okay. Yay for good news!

[krikeymate]

I have a weird idea I can't seem to get out of my head for some reason I'd though I'd share it with you. For the most part, people with mental illnesses are usually more creative or have more creative outlets, right? So what if when Sam left, she was on a mission to get better not just for herself but for Tara as well. She knew she needed help she started seeing things years ago, but Christina was no help. (She might have even thought it was a good thing because it made her like Billy. I can even imagine that after she found out, she started leaving her alcohol in plain sight to see if she would drink to quiet the voices like Billy did.) Thankfully, Deputy Hicks and Mrs. Meeks-Martin said they would look after Tara, and both told her to keep in touch and that they would be there if she needed them.

Sam struggled through getting sober and finding help for her mental health, but she managed to keep going. One of the things that she found she loved through it was art she loved escaping into different worlds anywhere that wasn't where she was. It helped her escape and forget how hard things where.

Someone notices her drawings and asks her if she could draw his dnd character or someone from a story he was working on she does because she's broke, and he said he would pay her. He loves it and posts it. A few other people ask for similar drawings. Eventually, she falls into a creative crowd that introduces her to a bunch of people working on different things. She learns to make illustrations for smaller indie media, and it's a nice hobby and way to make extra cash. One day, she gets a message from someone who said they say a few of her drawings and asked if she would be willing to make a few different covers for a story. Not thinking much of it, she said yes, next thing she's getting contacted by a large publisher asking to use one for the cover of a new book series. She ends up being asked to design more covers and illustrations from different publishers and can finally start saving up for when she went back home.

She becomes a popular freelance artist. Sam even has a few fans from a comic she worked on with friends. She uses the artist named Sam Soto since part of her is scared Christina would find her and ruin everything, and because her grandmother was her favorite person after Tara, so she used her last name to remember her. She's thankfully for that choice after all the theories start gaining traction.

Just before the attacks She was getting ready to reach out to Tara she finally felt stable and safe. Just needed to gather her courage and find the right moment. In the last 5 years, Sam learned that not everything she touched was going to get hurt or destroyed like she was always told she could also create things that where beutiful and made people happy.

Of course, after the GF attacks, Sam feels guilty. She almost lost her sister and the twins, and she did lose Wes and Judy Hicks. She threw herself at taking care of Tara, and when they moved to NY, she did make the smallest room and make it to her office/studio, and she didn't let anyone in. She found something that she loved that let her escape, but she had to leave Tara behind to find it. It made her afraid Tara would hate her art or think Sam was better off without her. What if she thought Sam was doing great and chose never to go back until she had to? How do you explain that she worked hard to get better for her but was to scared to go back when she did? It leads her to just brush off questions about the time she was gone, saying she just worked freelance and did some projects here and there.

Tara does hate it she knows Sam isn't being honest, but she's back she's here with her, and she promised never to leave again. After a fight, she storms into the studio and finds everything, even a print of a cover for the book she was reading, signed by Sam Soto. Looking around, the main thing that catches her eye is a framed drawing it's an old and worn-out drawing of her when she was younger. It's not as good as the rest of the drawing around the room, but you could tell it was the most well loved.

My friend this isn't a weird idea, this is LOVELY. I LOVE it, I LOVE you. I think saying "people with mental illnesses are usually more creative or have more creative outlets" is probably... not great, but I think you mean well. Happy to discuss that more in private if you message me off-anon (no judgement involved, I'll keep it all to myself, just wanna talk about it).

I think I've mentioned this before, but I 100% believe that when Sam left, she did it to recover - something she wouldn't be able to do in Woodsboro - and to get better, for herself and for her sister. The idea that Christina started leaving alcohol out to see if Sam would start drinking like she did is incredible, we all hate that woman, we only make her worse every time we talk about her.

Artist!Sam. Her using her grandmother's name as a pseudonym, being ready to reach out to her sister when life does it for her. All amazing. The way she learns through art that she is not destined for destruction, but that she can bring life and love into the world, heartbreaking.

The idea that Sam hides her art, terrified that Tara will hate her for leaving her and building this whole new world for herself is so so real. Because of course, what else could Tara think? Sam left and she made a name for herself and she found something that made her happy, because her sister just wasn't enough. And Sam only came back because Tara got hurt, because she felt guilty. Why wouldn't she assume that Sam was just going to stay away with her new name and her new life and her happiness? But Tara wants that for Sam, she wants her to be happy (she wishes she could have that for herself), so she feels guilty, because she's dragged Sam back into all this pain into her life and she's stuck here in New York looking after her fucked up little sister.

They're having an argument. Sam's trying to tell her she can't go to a party as if she has any say in what Tara can and can't do. "How am I supposed to focus on my work when I don't know where you are or whether you're safe," Sam screams at her. Tara screams back, "WHAT WORK SAM? YOU WON'T TELL ME ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT YOU DO BUT YOU EXPECT TO CONTROL EVERYTHING ABOUT MY LIFE."

The words cut at Sam deep. Because she's right. She won't tell Tara anything about her life, but she wants to know every part of hers. The truth hurts and she doesn't know what to say, how to react. She just turns and walks away back to her room. But Tara isn't done, she's too worked up, she storms after her, pushing the door open before Sam can close it.(A part of Sam wonders whether she wanted her to see. She's so much stronger, she could have held the door closed, she could have stopped her).

Tara takes in the room. The desk with the tablet and computer, the sketchbooks, the pens and the pencils, the canvases and the paints in one corner. She framed prints on the wall, the sketch of herself framed above Sam's bed. She takes it all in and thinks Sam didn't want to share this with me, and walks away, locking her door behind her.

She doesn't go to the party that night.

[livseses]

Fuck, shit, as well as damn it ("blast it all to the lower depths" as Ny would say). Idk if we posted this nonsense already. But fuck it. Gonna post it anyways.

Lol

Lmao

Fucking ha even

So we got

DID

(Pt: So we got DID)

We found out from our therapist the other day that she had updated our diagnosis. She went on leave for a few months, and we had a wonderful substitute therapist who had experience treating DID. After she had gotten back she consulted with said substitute and they both agreed that our symptoms matched up more with DID than OSDD-1.

We were fine with this, and she explicitly said that it was due to the memory issues. When we walked through the DES and diagnostic criteria, we didn't think our memory was "beyond normal forgetting". 8-9 months later, and a fresh set of eyes on us, and she got enough of a picture to check that box.

The only real complaint is that we don't know when we would have found this out, because it had come up from an unrelated conversation. But we've come to trust her well enough to believe that it was a simple mistake and not something more abusive of her authority.

But it's left us in a funny place. We've always thought our memory was shit, but not that shit. ADHD working memory out the door, and SDAM tossing the video feeds into the garbage. Nothing dissociative for the most part. Just weird brain quirks with memory.

But after getting hit with this, it's been, like I said, kinda funny feeling. Hell, read the first paragraph. We had agreed yesterday to pick my girlfriend up from work today, and didn't remember that until after the missed calls. That kinda shook us.

We've had missing days a plenty. Times where we were jazzed by the realization that Friday was one (1) day closer than we thought. Times where we were the opposite of jazzed because we missed a class (or a fucking final exam) because we thought we had another day left in the week.

We don't remember more than a handful of experiences from before college, and they dwindle the further back we go. But we know the facts. This kid with our deadname did/said/experienced X, Y, or Z. That kind of stuff. That's always been our memory. That's always been "normal forgetting".

Appointments, obligations, scheduled tasks. They all get missed until we can't do anything about them. We rely on routine. Therapy a 4 pm on Tuesdays. Oh it's at 3? Or on Monday? Guess we're not going. Need to call the doctor during business hours. But it's the weekend so we can't. Oh now it's the evening so we can't. Whoopsie, it's Saturday again and we need to call the doctor during business hours. Oh and file those papers before the kidos arrive at preschool. Gotta remember to file those papers. But it's time to prep for class and all the prep is done so we're incredibly bored and twiddling our thumbs. Kiddos are here but FUCK forgot to file the papers. Maybe after class? Oh yeah, all the tables are clean and nothing else to do but head home so that we can scream and panic because we need to file those papers in the morning before the kiddos get to class.

I don't recall telling this story before. Wait no, the bored look in your eyes reminds me that I saw that look last time I told you this story again.

It's strange and surreal right now to hammer home that yeah, this isn't "normal forgetting". Fuck I remember thinking that maybe the ADHD memory poo would count enough for criterion B. How much does our memory suck and we've just compensated hard? How much do we forget that we forget?

There's something important I need to stress btw. All of this ramble, all of these memory issues, all of this forgetting and amnesia? All of it is irrespective of switches and headmates (save maybe the lost days). DID and plural memory issues almost always treat forgetting as something done between members. It's so frequently held that the memory is held by someone else.

While that's true in many cases, it's absolutely not universal. Our Dx comes from our recurrent gaps in our recall that's not consistent with ordinary forgetting. Not an inability to recall the memories of other headmates. Hell our most recent experience with that was when Ny agreed to pick up my gf, and she forgot; we all forgot.

Maybe that's a nitpick. Maybe I'm being particular. Maybe I'm annoyed. I don't know that our treatment would be any different if we kept OSDD-1 under the notion that DID required intra-idenity amnesia.

But yeah memory is fuck. Ramble is done. I hope this isn't something we posted yesterday or something. But if it is, that's pretty fucking funny to us.

-Faye

[addictiedtocrimedrama]

26 Years Chapter 2- Chapter 1 - 2x01, Lost Souls

Summary: It's been almost a year since Clara rejoined the IRT and things are back to normal and the team still oblivious of her and Jack's relationship (or so they though).

(as the title suggests this is set before/during/a bit after the season 2 premier aka "Lost Souls")

Author's Notes: Sorry I haven't updated in months but school events and exams got the better of me and got be bussy/forget to work on this chapter.

Anyways, this is gonna be the start of the story. I will just let you guys know that this fic will include/mention characters from CSI: NY, FBI (TV 2018), and Law & Order. When the jet lands it's around 6:50 PM on a Saturday and Isa had a group call for a class at 7:20 PM since her school is in the Philippines, so it would be a Sunday if we're talking Philippine time, and she's also gonna be studying online. This fic takes place during season 2 because it feels like this is when Jack and Clara's relationship finally gets revealed. After all, there are so many times I feel like they couldn't keep hiding and tell the team. But I'll take my time with that. I should also let you guys know that the first two parts of this chapter takes place right before the season 2 premiere. The dialogue is mostly taken from the episode/s itself and I might skip a few lines here and there. Starting from this chapter onwards will quotes used at the start of every chapter which would be the bookend quotes from each episode. I'll also at bits of angst here and there throughout out the story, so beware. The characters at times may feel OOC, but it's fanfiction, so I don't care. Any and all mistakes are mine.

WARNING: I DON'T OWN CRIMINAL MINDS: BEYOND BORDERS, IT BELONGS TO ERICA MESNER AND CBS.

As usual gif credit goes to @shannyfishwriter bucause it's from their blog where I saved this gif. Also please consider this gif as a spoiler for what's gonna happen near the end of the chapter.

Little by little, a little becomes a lot. - Tanzanian proverb

Clara puts her mug in the cabinet and sighs. Another case is solved and she and the team are heading home. She's glad about that, especially since none of them's gotten a full night's sleep because they've been getting case after case since last week. She takes a seat on one the couch and sighs again. Then she hears someone approaching her.

"Though I might find you here." She didn't need to turn around to know who it was. She gave a small smile before replying "Can't really hide from you can I." she said turning to Jack.

To a normal person, it sounded like she was asking a question, but in reality, she was telling a statement. Jack chucked "Well I guess you're stuck with me SSA Seger or should I say SSA Seger-Garrett," he says taking a seat next to her. She gave a small laugh at that and slightly snuggled next to him.

They knew keeping their relationship a secret from the team was a bad idea, but neither of them ever dared to tell the team. They stayed like that in silence for a few minutes until Jack asked, "What's on your mind?" Clara gave a deep sigh and then said, "Nothing really, just ready to go home and finally get a full night's sleep." They once again stayed like that for a few more minutes until they both silently agreed to finish up the files on the table.

They worked in comfortable silence until they heard what sounded like Isa arguing with either Mae or Emma. When they came into view they realized that Isa was arguing with Mae about waking her up 25 minutes until the plane would land. Clara silently chuckled at the fact that Isa knows so much about aircrafts just by watching a TV series and that she makes a big deal that she's woken up 25 minutes before they land like it's that if she doesn't get into her seat 30 minutes before they land it's like she's gonna die. When the plane landed, the team packed up their bags and went home.

______________________________________________________________

When they get home, it was 6:50. Isa went to the room that she shares with Emma since her some of her classmates had a group call that was going to start, and Emma was with RJ working on their homework with a bit of help from Jack and Clara. After around 50 minutes, Emma and RJ are done with their homework, and they're talking about what they're going to have for dinner.

"What do you kids want for dinner?" Jack asks RJ and Emma. "I want to try this new restaurant I saw on the way home from school, I couldn't remember the name, but the sign had a chicken holding some kind of drink over the name of it," RJ said sadly. After a few beats, Emma spoke up "We passed by that restaurant on our way home right mom" she said enthusiastically "We did are you talking about this restaurant RJ?" Clara asked showing RJ a photo of the restaurant, "Yeah that's the one though it said that they're only serving take-out." Jack and Clara glanced it had been a while since they had take-out at home. "Okay we'll have JJ's tonight," Clara said, "Can either one of you two ask Isa what she wants for dinner?" she added.

"I'll do it, I need to head to my and Isa's room to grab my headsets anyway." Emma said "Okay Em but be quiet since I'm pretty sure that she's still in one of her classes" Jack replied after checking his watch. She nodded and headed to the room she shares with Isa.

She quietly opened the door, so Isa can't hear her and waves at Isa and mouths (grabbing my headsets) to her, and after she finds them, she asks Isa, who just removed her headphones "Hey mom and dad asked what you're gonna have for dinner since we're ordering take out from JJ's." Isa thought for a moment before saying, "Can you tell them I'll have the Adobo Flakes with the egg sunny side up and Sago't Gulaman." the only reply Isa got was "okay". Before she leaves, Emma asks her, "You guys already done or something? I saw you removing your headphones." Isa shakes her head and replies saying "Nah, we just took a quick break since this project's going to take longer than we expected." she simply replied "Okay, just curious" then she left.

A few minutes later, their order arrives. "Hey RJ can you give these to Isa," Clara asks, giving RJ a take-out box and cup with a straw and a spoon and fork. "Okay, mom" was the only reply RJ gave his mom. Later, when RJ comes back down, he eats with his family at the dinner table. After dinner, they cleared up the table, took a shower, and got ready to go to sleep, which Emma was relieved about. A few hours later Emma checks the clock in the living room to see it's a quarter to 11 which she knew was when Isa usually logs off and just does the rest of her homework in the morning. Emma enters her room to see Isa just about to shut down her laptop.

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The next day was a Sunday so Matt spent time with his family at the park, Mae and Monty were having brunch together, Isa was doing her homework, and Jack, Clara, Emma, and RJ went to mass. Later that day, the team got a case involving a Church group that went missing in Tanzania.

"We've got 23 missing Americans in Tanzania. They're members of the Brunswick Mission Church in Texas" Jack said as they boarded the jet. "They spent a week volunteering in villages before they disappeared. They were last seen en route to a rural retreat. Uh, the conductor had eyes on them about 2:30 in the morning, their time." Monty said giving them details about the church group and the case. "Well, That was 12 hours ago. A lot can happen between now and then." Simmons said, bringing up the time gap.

  "Have the local police searched the area where the train stopped?" Isa asked the question that was on all their minds. "That's the thing. They didn't stop." Monty replied. All of them were confused, how could 23 people vanish from a moving train. Clara decided to ask that question, "Well, you're... you're saying people vanished from a moving train?", "Yes, but all the employees insisted there were no stops, no commotion." Monty said in a matter-of-factly way.

"Then what's their explanation?" Mae asked, still not believing that 23 people disappeared from a moving train. "The Rapture." Jack said, reading from the case file in hand. All of them turned their heads towards Jack, shocked to hear the local's explanation. "Like... "plucked from the Earth and taken to Heaven" rapture?" Emma asked, not convinced it's the best explanation for how the Americans went missing. "The one and only." Jack confirming what she said.

"Yeah, well, we have to assume that it wasn't a miracle that took these people." Isa said, not believing that they were taken by the rapture. "How does an Unsub take 23 people?" Emma asked, still bewildered at this case, "Well, we can't figure out the how unless we know the who." Clara pointed out, "Who has the skills to pull this off?". "It'd have to be an organized group who's done this kind of thing before." Matt said, "And I bet they're heavily armed." Isa said trying to make sense of everything. "Well, criminal gangs and rebels have surged into Tanzania to escape their own unrest. I mean, travelers are easy prey." Clara said thinking that they could be looking at a criminal gang or rebels who took the Americans.

"Monty, any luck on getting us the passenger manifest?" Jack asked the analyst, "No, because most tickets were purchased in cash. However, I am trying to figure out how many more passengers there were on the train by going through the background in social media posts." Monty said to his boss. "The Americans posted these on their way to the retreat, before the cellphone service went out." he added, showing the team a video of the Americans having fun on the train. "Do all the missing have active social media accounts?" Mae asked, "No. About half of them. Why?" Monty replied, not sure where Mae was going on this, "Because their loved ones are gonna be expecting an update soon." She replied. "Yeah, we should get ahead of this, reach out to their families." Clara said, agreeing with Mae.

"Monty, we need to control what gets out, so it's best they come to you. That's a lot of people. Maybe the B.A.U. can help." Jack said, knowing that he might need help with the families. "Both governments have agreed to wait 24 hours before releasing a media statement. The clock starts when you land." Monty said, letting them know they have a day until the American and Tanzanian governments would release a statement. "Well, a day doesn't give us much time to find 'em." Clara said a bit grimly. "Well, let's hit the ground running. Local police have started a search, but the area is so vast, they need us to help narrow it down. These people were out to help others. I'm not about to let them get punished for it." Jack replied.

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"Some things to keep in mind... avoid touching people of the opposite sex since this could upset some people." Clara told them as they drove to the station where the train that the missing Americans rode is located. " And always keep your left hand to yourself, since it is considered dirty." she added. Almost all of them glanced at Isa who said jokingly, "Hey, I can only control myself, not how others respond to me. And before anyone asks, yes that was a direct quote from Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders: The Reboot episode Harvested where the team went to India." they all laughed at her since they all know how much she loves the show. For the rest of the drive, they talked about a lot of other things until they reached the station.

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When they got to the train, they saw a man they assumed was their liaison. They got out of the jeep and approached him. "Inspector Polino" the man introduced to them offering his hand to Jack. "Unit Chief Garrett. This is my team... Agents Simmons, Seger, Rubirosa, Jarvis, and Garcia." Jack said, introducing himself and the team. "Agents, please come this way." Inspector Polino gestured for them to follow him. "We saw no forced entry, and it looks like the belongings of the Americans are still on board." he relaid to them as they walked next to the train.

"We need to speak with the employees who discovered this." Jack said, "I hope you get more out of them than I did." Inspector Polino replied, "Are they cooperating?" Isa asked, silently hoping that they wouldn't give any of them trouble. "Yes, just insistent on their beliefs. But I believe there's someone responsible." was the reply of Inspector Polino, "Does this look like the work of any militias or rebels around here?" Clara asked, wondering if her theory on the jet was right. "There are legends out there... men who go beyond just stealing what they can and leaving tourists stranded, ones who want to punish." said Inspector Polino. "Can you lead us to these men?" Matt asked, "They are who they are because we cannot catch them. They attack and move on. They are the most dangerous ones." replied the Inspector. "We understand that, but right now, they're our best lead, so we need to track 'em down." Emma said, trying to figure out how to track them down.

"Clara, Emma and Mae, you start on victimology from what's left on the train." Jack said, "Simmons and Isa, the two of you should look at routes and talk to the conductor who found the empty car." he added. Turning to Inspector Polino he said "Inspector, I'd like to talk to the search party." the Inspector replied saying "They are gathering here soon. I also have officers searching the route, but they are overwhelmed. The train traveled overnight, no stations between. Where do we begin?" Jack, understanding they have a lot of area to cover, said, "Well, give us an hour. We'll have a starting point."

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Emma, Mae, and Clara got on the train and were going through what the victims left. "So the youngest is Nicholas... 7 years old. Son to single mom Rebecca." Clara said, while also going through some photos on a tablet, "That's brave to bring him all this way." Mae responded, "Well, yeah, but they were traveling with their church, so it's essentially an extended family." replied Emma from the far end of the train car they were in.

Mae looks around the train car and notices something "That's weird" she said. "What is?" Clara replied, looking up from the tablet in her hands. Mae looks around the train car again to make sure her suspicions were right "If this has anything to do with money, it's strange the UnSubs didn't take any of the valuables." she answered as Clara approached one of the seats "This attack was quick and efficient. They prioritized." she added to what Mae said.

"Maybe they were holding out for something more, like ransom." Emma suggested as she rejoined Mae and Clara. "Yeah" Mae said as she turned to face one of the seats and notices something. "Also forensic countermeasure" she added, then held up one of the phones to Clara and Emma. "There's no reason for us to track the GPS, since their phones are right here." Emma then checked one of the windows then said "And like the inspector said, there's no sign of forced entry."

As they continued to look around the train car, Mae notices something then proceeds to approach the door of the train car, "The only thing is this door." she said as she picks up a screwdriver that was on the floor near the train car door. "Maybe the UnSubs were on board." Clara said as she turns around and walks to Mae. "Yeah, but a jumping would have caused a lot of injuries" Mae countered, bringing up the fact there was a lack of a struggle. "Unless this is an inside job." Emma suggests as she looks out one of the windows. Mae and Clara walk towards Emma and also look out the window. "Yeah, this would make sense if one of the employees was in on it." Clara added, agreeing to what Emma was implying.

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While Emma, Mae, and Clara were going through what's left of the train, Matt and Isa along with Inspector Polino went to talk to the conductor who found the train and look at routes the train could have traveled.

When they approached the conductor, Inspector Polino spoke first saying something in Swahili neither Matt nor Isa could understand. "Yes, Gervas." the man replied. "And I speak English." he added. "Thank you for helping us. So were you the last one to see the Americans?" Matt asked. "I did rounds at 2:30. Everything was fine." Gervas replied. "And you arrived here at... at 6:30 this morning" Matt said. Gervas simply replied with a simple, "that's right". "So somewhere in the span of those four hours, the Americans disappeared. Do you know what happened?" at that question, Inspector Polino turns to look at Gervas while Isa carefully watches him.

"I think it was the Rapture." Gervas said simply. "They were delivered to Heaven." he added. Isa, who wasn't convinced, said "You think they were the chosen ones?". "I do." was his reply. "But you were not." Inspector Polino said equally, if not more, unconvinced than Isa. At that Gervas turned his head to look at Inspector Polino and said "It's okay. I have many responsibilities here. ". "Do you have children?" Matt asked. "Yes. Do you?" he replied. "Yeah." was Matt's reply, "And I keep thinking about those parents are going through back in the United States." at that Gervas walked to the side of the table separating him and Simmons and said, "They should be happy. Their loved ones are with God."

When Gervas said that Isa and Inspector Polino getting a little irritated which made Isa snap and say "You cannot prove that". At that, Gervas backs away a bit from Isa. Matt intervenes by stepping a little in between Gervas and Isa, then he turned to face Gervas and says "Listen... I can't do my job unless I look at all sides. The thing is, we do believe they were chosen, just not in the same way you believe in. And whoever took them was watching and waiting for them to be vulnerable. We think they're organized, and patient, we also believe that they needed help from the inside to pull this off." at that Inspector Polino was glancing between Matt and Garvas while Isa was giving him a mild glare. Though that glare might have been more intense than she was projecting since it was enough to scare him. "Now you're saying the train never stopped." Matt asked, hoping to finish this soon before Isa's temper gets the better of both herself and Gervas. "That's correct." was all he said.

Matt knew that the next question might be hard, but he knew he had to. "Well, forgive me for asking, but if someone were to threaten your family, would you do whatever it took to protect them?" to which Gervas simply replied "Of course". "Would you stop a train, so they could kidnap Americans?" Isa asked in a bit of a harsh tone, harsher than she was hoping for, if was being honest. At that Gervas backed away more then said "Listen, I swear on my children's lives that did not happen. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?" in a bit of a half panicked, half defensive tome. "Look, if I'm lying, my children will be damned to hell. Look, I had nothing to do with this. I swear to you, I did not do anything. Please..." he added.

Matt, trying to calm him down said "Okay, okay, okay." with that Gervas release a sigh. "Alright. I believe you. I need your help. You've worked this train for years, right?" Matt asked. Gervas simply replied a simple "yes". "Alright" Isa responded. Though she didn't mean it, her response came out a little sarcastic, which she internally winced about. Then everyone goes to the table where Matt asked Gervas "So there's 400 miles between when you last saw then and when you arrived here in Arusha." to which he simply nodded. "Can you us any terrain where you may have slowed down, even a little bit?" Matt asked. "Yeah, I can do that." Gervas replied, then proceeded to do as Matt asked.

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Jack was waiting for the search party to arrive when he saw Clara, Emma, and Mae getting off the train, "What did you guys find out?" he asked. Clara the first to get off said "Well the UnSubs were definitely on boar and like what the Inspector said there's no sign of forced entry. We... Aaahh" though she wasn't able to finish what she was saying because she lost her footing and trip. Thankfully, Jack was able to catch her before she fell flat on her face. "Better watch your step next time, Clara." he said, helping her straighten herself out. Clara rolled her eyes and said, "Yeah, yeah".

"There were also no signs of any resistance, so it could be an inside job." Mae said being a bit more careful as she got off the train. "If this was an inside job, was one of the employees in on it too?" Jack asked her. Emma was getting off shrugged then said, "We won't know until Isa and Matt get back. And there's no chance of us using GPS to track them, since they left their phones on the train". "I also noticed that the door was jammed from the inside with a screwdriver." Mae added, to which Jack nodded then said "That could strengthen your theory that it's an inside job". "Yeah, and the UnSubs also didn't take any valuables, which told us the attack was quick and efficient and that they also prioritized." Clara added. "Which mean they could be holding out for something like a ransom demand." Jack concluded.

Emma turned her head a little then exclaimed, "That's what I thought ". Just then the search part came, then Jack left to address them. Almost instinctively, Clara followed in suit.

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Jack quickly scanned the small group of people who had come to help them. "First, I want to thank you all for volunteering your time. We believe we're dealing with a specialized abduction, requiring many offenders. They're confident, organized, and have the means to hold 23 people hostage. They likely have access to encampments, vehicles, and weapons. We're narrowing down a starting point for the search and can begin to canvass as soon as we confirm. Thank you" then Clara who was standing to his right said "Asante tena (Thank you again)."Just then they saw Isa and Matt jogging up to them. "Hey guys, we got a possible point of attack." Isa said, slightly panting. Jack made a quick glance at Clara as he said, "Let's go."

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As they exited the vehicles they saw a trellis to which Matt pointed out saying "So the train slowed down here to get over this trellis." Jack added to this, saying, "This could be the snatch-and-grab point, but it's doubtful they kept them here". "There's not much around. They were definitely exposed." said Emma as she commented on the lack of vegetation. "And look over there." Clara said, pointing towards the hill right next to the trellis. "They must have come down that hill". "The footprints... they were all scattered." Inspector Polino said as he pointed to the many footprints on the ground. "It would have been chaos, but they gained control." Isa said.

There were a few seconds in between when Isa asked, "Which way did they go?" and Mae calling out saying, "Guys, I got something here." then gestured for them to come to where she was. Which they did, and she said, "It looks like one of the leaders... Jacob Ross". Jacob was covered in blood with what looked like multiple stab wounds to his abdomen, bloodied knuckles, and blunt force trauma to his skull just to name a few.

After a while, they seemed to notice that they were being watched. "They've got eyes on us, up on the ridge" Jack said, looking up to a camp at the top of the ridge, then asked Inspector Polino, "What do you know about those rebels?". "The flag is a Somali rebellion that's wreaked havoc all over the continent." he answered then added saying, "They are at odds with everyone". "If the Americans are held hostage inside that camp, I'll lead the negotiation. I'm not calling in armed forces. Their presence could inflame the situation." Jack said then Clara responded saying, "Yeah, but we do have one thing on our side." she elaborated on it by saying, "In Somali culture, there's something called "kobigana ukiketi" which roughly translates to "fighting while seated." Those at odds can be civil, unless they're on the battlefield". "Okay, then. Simmons, Polino, and I will approach. Clara, you, Isa, Mae, and Emma lead the search party. We found one body. There could be more." Jack said to Clara.

A while later...

"What did you find up there? Do they have the Americans?" Clara asked them as they rejoined the rest of the team. "Well, it wasn't those guys. I mean, they're horrible, but they haven't got the space to hide anyone there." Matt responded. "And they're not organized enough for a mass abduction." Jack added, then turned to Mae and asked, "What have you got?" to which she replied saying, "Looks like Jacob Ross suffered multiple contusions from multiple sources. Put up a hell of a fight. He has defensive wounds all over. The C.O.D. is still undetermined, since I can't properly examine the corpse out here, but right now, I'd say it's a tie between the blunt force trauma to his skull or the stab wounds in his abdomen".

After hearing what Mae said, Isa asked, "Overkill anyone?". "The UnSubs may have taken the whole group, but I think that the target of their rage was Jacob." Mae said, to which Emma responded saying, "Well, he and a handful of others has volunteered in Tanzania before. Maybe they made enemies". "We should look into their previous trips, see if there's any other conflicts." Jack said. "Well, they were organized enough to plan forensic countermeasure, like dumping Jacob's body near the Somali rebel camp." Isa said, trying to get into their UnSubs head. "Well, the overkill tells us there's a personal connection, and they want them to be punished. Killing Jacob is proof that they mean what they say." Matt added. "We should look for secure locations where they could keep 22 people." Inspector Polino suggested. Clara, however, was a little doubtful and said, "Yeah. Problem is, if they have vehicles, they could be long gone by now."

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"When we looked at the things left behind on the train, women were the only ones who had personal items. The men traveled light." Mae said as she joined everyone else. "That sound stereotypical." Matt replied. Just then Emma's phone ringed telling her she got a message, she pulled the device out and said "Except it gets weirder." as she read the text. "Monty said he's only been able to get a hold of the missing women's families because they all had social media accounts". "But none of the men had any social media presence at all." Clara added, "Zilch." Emma confirmed.

"Go ahead, Monty" Jack said with his phone on speaker with Monty on the other end. "So Jacob's estranged wife is here, and she got really anxious when I mentioned the church and, more specifically, Elijah Ward. She said that Jacob would follow Elijah anywhere, and actually referred to him as a "loyal subject."" Isa scrunched her eyebrows then said, "Well, that's an interesting choice of words". "So they're not the partners that we thought they were. Elijah's the leader." Mae said, a bit stunned. "And Jacob was killed by someone he knows." Clara added. "Let's focus on Elijah." Jack said, as they got to work on a profile.

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"Elijah started this devout group, initiated Jacob as his right hand, and then 11 more men joined over the next few years." Mae said as she circled Jacob, Elijah, and 11 other faces in a group picture. "Elijah and his 12 disciples" Jack commented. "And then he slowly recruited nine more women, including Rebecca Moore, who brought along her son." Clara added. " According to their loved ones, all these women struggled with abuse and were searching for help." Monty informed them over the phone. Then Emma realized something, then said, "Which would make them easier to manipulate." which in turn made Isa realize she's on to something. "You think these women were taken against their will?" She asked her. "Yeah, I mean, they were far from home, which gives Elijah the ultimate power and control over them. They'd be too afraid to revolt." she replied. "We were looking in the wrong direction. The UnSub's on the inside." Matt concluded. "This is a radical cult, and Elijah is their charismatic leader." Isa continued. "He groomed these women to trust him. He used their faith against them." Jack added, then he finished by saying, "We can't let him get away with this". "So... where would Elijah take them." Matt asked as he placed a map on the table they were using.

A while later...

Jack rejoined the team with Inspector Polino and said, "Our initial profile was correct. This is a mission-oriented group, but Elijah is their leader". "And it took years for him, years for him to plan this." Clara continued. "Everything he does, he does for a reason. He chose all of these villages." Isa added, pointing to different parts of the map, then asked, "Do they have any meaning to you?". "These spiritual leaders are extremists." Inspector Polino replied. "Probably recruited those men to help set up the commune." Emma suggested.

"Elijah suffers from a religious psychopathology referred to as a "Moses complex." He doesn't think he's God, but believes he speaks for Him." Jack said. "And he believes he was chosen by God to lead his people to the promise land." Clara added. Then Emma got a text from Monty, then she said, "Hey guys, Monty just sent this. "Elijah was born and raised by a delusional young couple" who believed that he could speak to God". "And they named him accordingly. Elijah was a Hebrew prophet in both books of Kings and in the Old Testament." Isa said trying to remember a lesson is her CLF class. "His parents were arrested "for severe abuse to their other children." All were taken away, but it was too late for Elijah." Emma said as she continued reading Monty's text. "He was driven to make his parent's belief his life's mission." Clara concluded.

"He wasn't afraid to kill for it. Jacob's murder unleashed a homicidal rage. And if he's showing signs of euphoric stress, it could fuel him to take more risks and hurt more people." Matt said. "What were his sibling's names?" Jack asked. "He was the youngest of eight. Kids were Ezekiel, Isaac, Ruth, Caleb, Miriam, Rachel and Samuel." Emma replied as she finished reading Monty's text. "Why" Inspector Polino asked. "All names from the Old Testament. It was drilled into his head. He planned the train ride to get them close to the Olduvai Gorge." Jack answered. "And historians believe that's the original Garden of Eden." Isa said remembering it from a one of show she watched. "I know a shortcut." Inspector Polino said promptly. Then they all swiftly left the room and quickly got on the road.

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As they arrived near the Olduvai Gorge, they all quickly got out of the jeeps all geared up, with a few people already having their guns out and with flashlights in hand. There they saw what looked like a school bus. Jack was about to check it out when Mae spoke up and said "Jack?" then motions to the path in front of them. "They'll be protective and convinced we're attacking. We don't want another Waco. We go as a peaceful negotiation." Jack said, addressing the team and the backup force they had. Then they slowly walk to the path which would lead them to Elijah and the other Americans were.

[in the building where Elijah and 21 other people are]

They slowly enter the building, with Jack taking the lead. Then they saw Elijah and the other people turn, almost as if on instinct. "Who are you?" Elijah asked. "My name is Jack Garrett. I'm with the FBI." Jack answered, which made Elijah sate flatly, "You don't belong here, Jack." to which Jack countered by saying, "Neither do these people". At that, Elijah turned to fully face them, and everyone who was armed drew their guns. "We are on our own path. It's not for you to judge." he said. "I'm not judging. I'm protecting those who didn't choose to be here." Jack answered to which Elijah reasoned saying, "Every choice they made has brought them to this very spot." then Jack took a few steps forward and said "Maybe that's true, but if anyone's here against their will, that's against the law".

At that, Elijah addressed the members of the church group and asked them, "Brethren, do you recognize Jack?" he continued on saying, "He is the serpent that wants us to deny our truth!" to which Jack replied saying," I'm only advocating free will. We both believe in that. Does anyone want to leave?" at that, everyone who had their guns drawn tighten. "No one is in danger here, but your souls will be if you run back to the life you know, to darkness, to demons! We can start over here. I have built a safe place for you. Remember why we left! This is our destiny! Don't let them scare you." Elijah said, trying to convince the church group members to not go to the IRT and local police. "God's work is to spread the light, not hide it away from the world." Jack said then added, "Why would you hide everyone away?" to which Elijah replied saying, "Because the world isn't safe. And It's my fate to help others".

Jack took a few more steps towards him and said, "I know how you feel. Sometimes, I... take a leap of faith. Other times, I deal with hard facts, like in this case. You tricked the women to join you here." to which Elijah said, "No, I'm saving them from the abuse they have suffered". "Have you told anyone what happened to Jacob Ross?" Jack asked. At that, everyone turned their heads to face Elijah. "He was brutally murdered. It's the way he was killed that told us the most. It was personal. He showed signs of fighting back... bloody knuckles, skin under his fingernails." Jack continued then asked Elijah "Who did that to your face?" then he responded "Why would I kill Jacob?". "He threatened your leadership, and you punished him for it. Then you sacrificed Jacob to lead the investigation away from your paradise." Jack said, then added, "You're a false prophet and a murderer". Jacob, getting a little defensive said, "How dare you come in here and spill those lies?" then Jack quickly countered saying "All you men are trusted disciples. How much longer before he kills you?"

"I'm scared." Nicolas said, then ran to Jack. Then one of the armed men nudged Rebecca to do the same, then both her and Nicolas ran to Clara, who guided them out. "Free will, right?" Jack asked. As soon as Jack said that, all the women from the church group ran towards them, with Mae telling them reassuringly, "Come on. This way. Okay. You're safe now. Come on, come on".

Then, when they thought they were able to talk Jacob down he grabbed one of the armed men's guns and points to Jack, at the same time he draws his own gun and points it to Elijah. "You've ruined everything." then Jack replied, saying, "Don't you see? This was their fate". At that Elijah points his gun to his head in response to this, Jack said, "See if that's yours." Elijah replied, saying, "My blood will be on your hands. You will have sinned".

Jack slowly walked towards Elijah to try and make him let go of the gun, as he did so he said, "All you ever wanted was power and control. You have that now. Now go ahead. Be a martyr. Killing yourself makes you a sinner in the eyes of your followers, and you don't want that. Elijah, give me the gun. Let go of the gun". At that, Elijah lets go of the gun and surrenders.

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The case was finish, and they were on the way back home, everyone was asleep except for two certain agents. Clara took a seat in her usual chair at the wooden table and release a heavy sigh, then said, "That was one hell of a case". Jack hands her a mug of tea then took a seat right next to her and replied saying "Yeah, I have to agree with you on that." Clara then releases another heavy sigh before she took a bug gulp from her tea, then said, "It's always the ones you don't expect." Jack responded half teasingly, and half lovingly said, "That would be you sweetheart".

At that, Clara chuckles then with a smile on her face said, "Same with me, the last person I expect to do something is always you." her smile however disappeared as she turned to look intro the dark pool of her tea then back to Jack and said, "Do you think we should tell them?" finally addressing the elephant in the room. "About us, I mean." she clarifies since Jack was looking at her questioningly then he asked, "Where'd you get that from?" to which Clara replied saying, "Well ever since the accident at the train station I was almost 10% certain Mae was eyeing us".

At that, Jack sighed then said, "I feel like we should since there're gonna find out sooner or later." Clara nodded in response then said, "Yeah, I also feel like our luck is running out and something's gonna happen that'll be a factor for us telling them". Soon after saying that, Jack chuckles, then asked her, "What are you now, a psychic?". Clara herself couldn't help but let a laugh out and somehow managed to nudge him then said, "Hey, I'm just saying..." she wasn't able to finish what she was saying because a yawn escaped her lips then said, "You know what, I gonna head to the bunks and get some sleep before we land. You coming?". At that Jack nodded and said, "Yeah, I think we both deserve it, especially after the case we just had." Clara quickly left to return the mug she used to the cabinet and quickly came back to see Jack still there. As they walked to the bunks, she felt his arm wrapping around her waist.

______________________________________________________________

As Jack was headed towards the elevator, he saw his sister. Before he could ask what she was doing there, she said, "I saw the news. I thought you could use a hug sooner than later." then gave his a reassuring embrace with Jack simply saying "Thanks."and Karen replied saying, "Thank God you found them". As they parted, they saw Clara and Emma join them. Clara greets her with a smile and says, "Hey Karen." then said as they parted, You know, some of them didn't want to leave. They devoted their lives to that man." she responded, shaking her head, and said, "I have to believe they'll find a safer place to live".

When they heard footsteps, they turned to see who it was. They turned to see Ryan, who said, "I saw you guys landed. Great job." then patted Emma on the shoulder to snap her out of her 'trans'. At that, Emma smiled and looked up at her older brother and said, "Thanks". "Are you headed off?" Jack asked, to which Ryan simply said, "Yeah" at that Clara said, "Like father, like son". Ryan smiled at his mom's comment, then said, "I guess this case means R.J. doesn't stand a chance for his Dominican Republic trip." Karen turned to her nephew a little surprised then asked, "He hit you up, too?" to which he nodded then said,"Yeah. For what it's worth, he is way more driven than I was at his age, and he is a smart kid".  Jack nodded and said, "Yeah, I know. Guess I have, uh, have to have a little more faith that he'll be all right." the second she heard that, Clara turned to her husband and asked, "Is that a "yes"?" Jack replied saying, "He's brave. I'm the one who's scared, so I can't let that get in his way. ". "Nice, Dad. He's gonna be stoked." Ryan replied.

After a few beats, Karen looking questioningly at her brother and nephew asked, "Did you two make calls? You have connections in the Dominican Republic." as Jack responded simply saying "yeah" as the five of them entered the elevator, then added saying, "Well... we know a few guys." to which both Karen and Clara nodded as the elevator doors closed.

______________________________________________________________

IRT fam (without mom and dad)

11:57 p.m.

Mae: hey guys

Monty: wtf Mae it's almost 12 am

Isa: Sheesh Mae couldn't you chose anytime but you chose NOW

       when almost everyone in the gc is suppose to be sleeping and when I'm suppose to be reviewing.

Mae: melodramatic much

Isa: {Florida and Louisiana; woooooooow.gif}

Mae: uuuummmm sorry?

Emma: Mae why are you messaging in this gc when it's almost a quarter past 12 anyways?

Mae: oh hey Emma

Emma: don't

             what do you even want to talk about that is so urgent yet don't want dad and

Isa: Em what is she talking about?

Monty: Mae me and Isa are clueless about what you're talking about

Matt: uh guys why are you talking in this group chat at quarter part 12 in the morning

Isa: Oh hey Matt. To answer your answers, first Mae started this crap, second we have no freaking clue why she did or even what the heck she's talking about.

Emma: uuuummmm Mae?

Mae: yeah?

Emma: are you talking about what happened at the train station?

Mae: YES

Monty: uuuuhhh what are you guys talking about I'm clueless

Isa: Same but I have a feeling this happened while me and Matt were talking to the conductor

Matt: Mae just spill it so we don't have to play the guessing game

Mae: okay fine

            so as Isa guessed this happened while she and Matt were talking to the conductor and me, Emma, and Clara were getting off the train after we finished on victimology.

            Clara got of first and as she was taking the last step and trip

Matt: was she okay?

Emma: she's fine thankfully dad caught her before she could fall right on her face

Isa: Oh.My.Gulay is this why you're chatting us this late Mae?!

Mae: I would've asked how you mean that but I've known you long enough to know now

Monty: can we get back on track please? I really want to get this over with and go to sleep

Mae: sorry

            anyways to a normal person it wouldn't have seen more than a friend helping another friend

Isa: buuuut

but as a profiler you/I see more than that

Emma: WTF MAE

            ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT MY DAD AND AUNT CLARA ARE TOGETHER

Mae: uuuuuummmm yes???

Isa: Okay that's it I'm out. I don't wanna handle this crap anymore. I just wanna go to sleep.

Emma: same

Monty: yes please

Matt: yeah

Mae: ouch

Isa: MAE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CHIKAHAN DON'T. WE CAN PICK THIS UP TOMORROW.

______________________________________________________________

Aaaaaaand that's the end of the chapter. I decided to add the group chat thing as I was supposed to finish editing this fic but I got inspired by the fic "Sibling Chats" by JWritesFanAccount on AO3 and decided instead of making it an entire other fic I decided to add it to the end of each chapter and have the rest of the team (Isa and Emma included) talk about Jack/Clara or as I'll start referring (maybe) to them Jara (I know bad but it's the only thing I got rn). As for why Emma addressed Clara as "aunt" and not just buy her first name or accidentally slip and say/type "mom" while talking with everyone (minus her parent) is because technically they're off-duty and that's all I'm gonna say.

I would also like to add that from now on I'd like you guys to know that updates will be irregular because I'm still a student.

[michelleplayswithfire]

it's already the 19th day into a new year...

and i'm seeing a pattern, and i don't like it

i ate cereal last night when i got home from work, and over last night i got a bad reaction, which led me to several trips to the toilet

knowing that i had to be at work at 7am and i'm still sick to my stomach, i had to call out

otherwise, it would be frequent trips to the toilet while i'm working which would upset my boss (if he showed up to work today)

then while i was resting in my bed, i get a text from the general manager, saying that i needed to show up to work and to not ask me for more hours

the text came off as very disheartening

i have a medication appointment tomorrow morning and a primary doctor's appointment the next monday and i requested those days off because it's going to take a while for me to get there because i don't have a car

afterwards, about the next couple of days, i checked my schedule for this week and next week, and noticed my hours and days being cut

and being that i live with a nice apartment with a woman and her four kids, i need those full-time like hours because i need the money to pay for finances and have some money left over for myself so i can save to go to NY in the spring

the text was so disheartening and such a dickish move that i am considering finding another job

i hadn't been to a doctor since i've started this job almost four years ago and i recently got back on my medication after a couple of months because i missed the last appointment back in november because the transportation was just too much for me

i need a new pair of feet, my feet have been hurting much of the time from all this walking and i can't wait to get a car and start driving

it's like every time i ask for some time off so i can make my appointments knowing that it would be a bitch if i had to reschedule, my hours are being cut and my days are being cut and at this point i can't afford that and if i call off, i get a nasty text from my boss which is a real cunt move if you ask me

i'm just looking forward to what's next for me

[sirwadewilsonfromimgur]

scene/vignette 1

Go West, Young Man

June 2027 Kansas city Missouri Earth-10005 

The song "Proud" by Heather Small plays

We open up our scene media rez, near the corner of Westport road and Broadway 

Deadpool in full red and black is marching in a parade, he's playing color guard holding a magenta, yellow and cyan flag. Only a few feet away Wolverine is in a new  yellow and brown uniform reminiscent of the John Byrne design but with more yellow Holding a pink, purple and blue flag. 

And I bet you're just dying to know how we got here.

Rewind back to March 2027

~on the 19th floor of One Park Place~

Moving men are dropping boxes off as Logan and Wade walk in, holding the more fragile cargo the good China and and several pounds of C4 explosive. Don't worry Logan had the box of detonators.

Wade had said it was only really a problem if they came together. It'd been in the coat closet at the old place for years. They really needed a better place to store stuff like this... Logan was taken aback by the expansive living room. Beautiful isn't it penut, and a fraction of the cost of anything this big in New York. They set their boxes on the marble counter of the open concept kitchen, "eat your heart out chip and jo-jo." they walked to the floor to sealing windows that overlooked downtown Kansas city.  You know Taylor Swift has a house in this city. She's with that cute football guy. 

"I prefer hockey," Logan said matter of factly

Wade looks out the window; It looks nice, and in the last 30+ years, it hasn't been the target of an alien invasion, kiju fight, or Giant universe destroying mcguffen. It's shockingly safe here, almost like it's an overlooked part of the country in pop culture.

Can we really afford this bub?

Penut we've been saving for almost two years, after that little hit job in Madripoor alone we had more than enough to cover it... they were paid handsomely to off the head of one of the local cartels. What resulted was an internal power vacuum that resulted in a 3 faction civil war significantly reducing their market share.

The rival gang that paid them added a hefty bonus for making it so easy to muscle in on their territory. We got a steal (literally, there may have been a little light gun play to talk the original owners down from 2 million) 1.5 million for a four bedroom 4.5 bath fuck ton sq foot mansion in the sky.

Logan knew that was easily 10.4 million in the shit part of NY. HAO fees are cheaper than we were paying in rent. Honeybadger.

Logan was still a little pissed that Wade had bought a condo with their money... mostly because Wade didn't talk to him about it. One night, they were having dinner with Laura she said she was transferring to UMKC. The closest thing they had to a discussion was Logan mentioning he didn't like her so far away.

They'd planned on leaving the city after she graduated. The plan was to stay there to be closer to her and saving money, then buying a house somewhere, not in Connecticut. The next thing he knew a few days later Wade had closed on a condo a thousand miles away and casually announced they were moving.

The fight they had was the ugliest in a while. "I THOUGHT WE WERE PARTNERS!? REMEMBER!? IN BUSINESS AND IN LIFE" "YOU SPENT 1.5 MILLION WHITHOUT SO MUCH AS ASKING ME.

"OUR MONEY BEING THE KEY WORD BUB" he'd yelled at Wade before giving him a full force claw punch to the gut... Wade slept on the couch that night. Logan didn't care how much Marry Puppens (or his own feelings about sleeping without Wade) objected.

He could only tolerate so much impulsiveness, and that took the cake... he didn't have problems moving to the midwest, Laura had transferred to UMKC and they both wanted to be close to thier daughter, but perhaps includ him in the decision, perhaps shop around before zeroing in on some luxury high rise.

Apart from the condo, Logan suspected Wade had a hand in Laura transferring out here... cheaper tuition or not, it was just a little too convenient, and Wade is notorious for spoiling Laura. He's almost certain he's covering her tuition from his personal money. especially when it came up that she was quitting her part-time work so she could concentrate on her studies.

also, Logan remembered the Dossier labeled Bayer CropScience LP. He'd read the news paper clipping in it that that talked about the USDA Moving sections of the department to Kansas City including key research labs, there was another company named Cerner on Wade's list of targets of concern... it was Wade's personal project and not tied to their professional joint partnership MFM L.L.C. he knew the details, though.

at some point, GMO foods would be developed that were capable of canceling the X Gene. Striping those with gifts and preventing any new ones from being born. It's why the grocery bill was always through the roof and why he could never dare drink a Coke, not the kind with corn syrup anyway. His immortality was tied to this universe... regardless, his claws and sense of smell weren't tied to that. There was a chance that those could be affected. 

" Logan... penut!? Baby girl? Sweetheart!"

Logan shook his head. he was kind of just frozen there in the living room in a full reverie for a minute.

"Are you ok babe? I think you were having an exposition flashback"

It's a nice house Wade, he'd been pissed for about a week now. He had taken Vanessa advice and seen a therapist. 

He didn't get much from it other than it was ok to be mad, it was okay to be in the moment. But at some point you had to make an effort to let go. He'd let go of the little shit... the deepest darkest part of him was firmly entrenched after 200 years, that wouldn't let him go.

He'd extend the olive branch. "Wade, home is wherever you are, you're my favorite agent of chaos. We'll live here. But please promise me you won't spend a million dollars of our money without at least running it by me... Wade, who hadn't apologized yet for buying the place, looked at Logan. "I'm sorry that l impulse bought a house, if its any consolation, my spleen still hurts from that punch." Logan knew that for Wade, that was as sincere as it got. And he knew he felt bad mostly because Logan hadn't been groped since that night. Wade punished himself. Sigh... ok, bub, come here. Logan took Wade in his arms "fights done, I'm letting it go... I'm sorry about your spleen. " You're right. I was irresponsible... "shhh, we're letting it go." Wade slid his hands down the back of Logans, jeans...

Logan, in a forgiving mood, just let him have a hand full of the cake as the kids say and kissed him, he kinda missed it.

It smells like some gay shits going on in here! I assume you two animals kissed and made up finally.

"Yes Althea, we're fine, and you know technically we're not gay."

Good! I'm glad you're better. But I don't know what else to call two married men who sleep with each other. But if we're getting technical the way you two fuck is called domestic assault and battery and a violationof several sections of the Geneva convention. One of the many reasons we didn't get our deposit back is all the blood in the carpets. Please tell me my room is on the opposite side of the house as yours and please try not to bleed all over this house too.

You get your pick of rooms Al there's two on the opposite side of the house from ours.

Thank you she said as she walked towards them, holding the Dogpool MaryPuppens.

one of you two mother fuckers want to take this dog and help me to the rooms so I can pick one, if I trip over a box i'm setting something on fire! I'm already pissed off.

Do you know this fucking building isn't ADA compliant. I hope you have enough money left over for a lawyer because it took me forever to find the fucking elevator and none of the doors are marked, I had to ask a random lady for help, and none of the cocain in this fucking city is any good it's all 99% fint and I aint trying to die Wade Wilson.

"Al remember you're getting older we switched you to the devils lettuce, its legal here and better for your heart" 

Well fucking roll one up I had to use ecco location and schlep up 19 stories and I'm so mad I could spit... 

Al, Wade, I'm going to go downstairs and get more boxes (the more sensitive items they had hauled themselves, not wanting the moving company to deal with it).

"Grab the guns they should be in the box Marked sex toys" 

Logan stopped Wade!? Where are the sex toys then?... " In the box marked silverware or guns... but I can't remember" in Unison Al and Logan "For fuck sake." Logan walked out the door. 

He pulled out a cigar lit, it and walked to the elevator around the corner. He smacked right in to a lady coming the other way... Jesus ma'am I'm sorry. He helped her to her feet. 

Goodness that felt like hitting a brick wall. Have you seen an elderly African American woman? she was very distraught. 

Yes she's my friend. Family really we're just moving in, she inside the house.

Oh good, I was worried... and you are?

Logan Howlett. I just got in today for the move.

Ah yes I met Mr. Wilson earlier when he set up the moving in schedule so the freight elevator would be free. I'm Meranda Van Hammet, I'm on the HOA board I wanted to make sure you were settled in and give you the bylaws hand book. 

Bylaws? I don't think we're painting the outside of the condos, putting the trash on the curb or mowing the grass.

Very funny, Mr. Howlett, but there's other things. This is a tower after all, and we're all a little close to each other, though most have excellent soundproofing. For one thing, you need to make sure your dog uses the proper section of the lawn. it's clearly marked.... 

Okay. 

Here would you please sign this saying you received your hand book and may I ask what relation you are to Mr. Wilson

Wade!? He's my husband.

Oh! Well, all right then, thank you. Here's your book... and if you check on page six, Mr Howlett you will see it says no smoking in the common hallways. Ta ta!

Logan did not like the way she said "Oh!"

Also he could smell the revulsion she had. In the year 2027, people are still like that. Bad enough dealing with the Mutant haters, he had classic bigots that hated him based on whom he loved and made love to. He had a feeling he wasn't going to like her, and not just because she was a bigot, he knew an HOA Karen when he saw one.

He'd deal with that later. He went down grabbed the box full of handguns and continued to unpack things in to the house.

Finally all the shit was in the house after a few hours and the new furniture had arrived too.

It was an indulgence Logan had allowed out of necessity, especially since he had no intention of bringing the uncomfortable, barley functioning blood-soaked couch with them. However, Wade went a little nuts. Logan was canceling whatever app had HGTV on it that was for certain. It's not that he ordered anything bad. Quite the opposite It was well appointed and beautiful, dark mahogany and burgundy throughout.

it costs as much as a starter home in this town to furnish the whole condo. To his credit, Wade paid for half of it from his personal funds and talked to logan about it, and he picked up the other half. The truth is they actually were doing well, they could afford it... but all of it felt like showing off, a little too ostentatious, it made Logan uncomfortable. Althea was right about one thing. Any "blood sports/war crimes" the two of them got up to will probably have to be contained to the very nice shower that was big enough for the two of them with multiple showr heads in their master suite. It was too nice to ruin this place... mattresses were replaceable, though he thought as he smirked.

It was getting late, they had gotten everything unpacked that they were going to for one day. Logan had finished unloading all the pots and pans on the hanging rack. Wade was in front of the window again. it was dark outside, but downtown sparkled in the distance.

We should go to bed, bub. Wade didn't move or answer. Logan walked over to him. Are you ok, babe? I promise I'm not mad anymore. Let's go to bed.

Logan slipped amorous intent into his tone with his last sentence to sweeten the deal. Wade turned. He was clearly upset. Logan reached out and grabbed his hand.

Something.... Something is wrong with the plot. I think the story is going to get dark at some point.

Wade said stuff like this from time to time. Most people wrote it off. He'd speak to no one and make strange references. He's just crazy he heard Warhead say once. But being bound to him and close to him, Logan had caught on that occasionally he was saying something important. Something that ended up happening. He wondered if this was a latent mutant ability. Some random precognition that came and went.

He hugged Wade to comfort him. It's ok, bub. Whatever it is, we will deal with it together. He felt Wade's tensing loosen. Let's go to bed.

Ok, that sounds good... but I'll have you know I get very horny when I'm upset.

Logan chuckles... I'll see if I can't do anything about that.

Link to Scene 2

[hannahnicole717]

Why Would I Leave?

AN: Hey everyone here is something I wrote in a creative writing class a few years ago and something in me told me I wanted to make a book out of it one day but I have nowhere to get solid input. Feel free to message me any tips or ideas for more of this series

--------------------------

CH 1 Summary: Nathan Turner works as a bartender in one of the tallest buildings in NY. He works day in and day out without giving anyone any information about him to pay his rent for the month. With the world becoming apocalyptic and somehow futuristic all in one there are secrets he hasn't told anyone and secrets others know about him that he doesn't. Running from his past still wishing he could have done something different to find out more about his secretive parents who vanished on their yearly boat trip across the seas. One day something slips and he is brought to someone who shows him something that can change the world as he knows it.

------------------------------------------------

My life wasn't always like this, I used to be able to go about my day and wake up late on the weekends without a worry unless it was what I was getting for dinner that night. The sun shining through my big window that my bed is propped against is what would wake me between the hours of dawn and noon. Depending on what my night consisted of. I would take my time getting ready for work in the mornings, nine times out of ten I would want to go to work early to beat the morning heat from the ever burning sun in the sky.

Having my own business had its perks, like creating my own hours and leaving and going as I please. I would start my mornings after getting out of the little twin-sized bed and brushing my long black hair then tying it in a messy bun behind me if I could feel the heat seeping through the walls, I would sit down on the little couch in the corner of my apartment and drink my coffee until I gathered enough courage to get up and if I was up for it have something to eat, then brush my teeth because brushing your teeth before you eat has never made sense to me. However, I never was a breakfast person since it makes me nauseous and brings back old memories of my parents forcing me to eat something before I went to school and then getting hungry in the middle of the day hours before lunchtime. I almost always got my hand swatted for digging in my lunch box when it wasn’t time. Gently placing the little green coffee cup in the sink I slipped on my old work shoes locked the door behind me to my apartment and walked to work.

 I worked at a local craft shop I owned but it wasn’t the craft shop that had all the different kinds of glitter you could get for a reasonable price on five different signs or the endless amounts of fabric that all of “those” people got whenever it went on sale to make cheap blankets for their nieces and nephews who put them in the closet to never been seen again. I made pottery and I was damn good at it too, it sold like hotcakes on a Sunday morning before Church.

I can't remember the last time I went to Church or even made something I was proud of. I always took the utmost care with every piece I worked with from the tea cups to the plates and from the vases to the most uncommon things people could ask, one time some man asked me to make him a stupid-looking plate for his wife cause he missed an anniversary. I had plans that evening but I made it for him anyways because above all else I needed the cash, and for all the curves I made engraved into the smooth clay was addicting.

It was my therapy, my escape. I made it all and loved everything I'd ever made at the time. I couldn’t see myself not doing it, I longed to see the smiling faces walking in and out of the little shop I had finally saved the money to buy. It wasn’t much but it was mine. The perfect little hole in the wall was in the heart of White Plains, New York. The sign I had posted on the sidewalk every day told the items that I had for sale and it changed every time I got bored with what I was making, the wooden floors were polished clean to a light brown wood staining and gray brick walls. This was where the customers would shop and browse the newest plates or bowls and even tiny teacups they could find while the corner in the back was covered from table to floor in dry or old clay but my favorite part of the place that made me choose it instead of any of the other little places to rent were the double big windows with just enough sunlight drawing through to show off the many pieces of hard clay I made that day, the big leafed plants in the corner that I always forgot to water and somehow haven't killed yet, a few chairs with some antique books on the table for potential buyers to sit down and read.

I never put up curtains on those big windows either, no one at the time would ever think about stealing something as useless as pottery. But to me anything and everything I made was priceless. Some things I made took me all day and some took me a few hours. There wasn’t one person who didn’t live in White Plains who didn't walk by my little shop at least one time on their way to work and couldn’t help but just pop in to see what I had set up that day since there was not nearly as many people living here then as there is now.

Being in the heart of the town brought all sorts of people going to and from work. Mothers with their young children came in to see if I had any vases left after my latest sale for Mother's Day, their child popping up over the counter with their big and curious eyes looking up at me. I kept pieces of candy on the counter just for this purpose. Don't get me wrong, I don’t hate kids, I just don’t like them. I consider this a mutual agreement between me and them, I give them candy and they don't break the only things I care about. Like they would ever know the meaning behind those pieces but it didn’t hurt to try and bribe them.

Don't let me forget the raunchy husbands on their way home stopping by to pick up a small cup to apologize to their significant other for being late to dinner again or for missing an anniversary. But the ones that came in most often were the younger girls that came in to just look at me and gossip with their little girlfriends in the corner pretending I couldn’t hear them talking about my strong arms or my neck and shoulders, but the thing they kept them coming back for more was my long black hair that I just kept so "effortlessly tied behind me." They would brush their hair in their hands pretending to reel me into their “Beauty” in hopes of getting a second glance from me. Hoping I would drop whatever I was doing and rush over to sweep them off their feet.

But in reality, I couldn’t stand having my hair dangle all in my face while I carved. Their awning eyes on every move I made. They loved the little strands that fell into my face while it perfectly framed the way my cheekbones were so perfectly chiseled and you’re asking why don’t I just cut it? Well, that's what everyone says. 

“Just cut it if it bothers you” or 

“Nathan, I haven’t seen you with shorter hair since before your parents passed”.

Ah, there are those words that hit too close to home and make me want to shrivel up in the back corner of my shop with all the extra clay I had not yet used and just sit there till the sulking feeling of disappointment left me. I hadn’t cut my hair since my mom and dad passed 6 years ago, she would always tell me that she loved it when I grew it out and would always push the little fly aways behind my ears.

It was so simple but so reassuring when she did that. So when I heard the news that the boat sank on their annual vacation I never wanted to get another haircut in my life and I was fine with it. I still remember the first time I got it trimmed almost a year after their passing and the barber almost had to stop me from hyperventilating in the chair.

After all of the court dates, I went and lived with my Grandmother who was there for me until I was able to get a very tiny apartment close to my shop when I turned eighteen. It was a shock living by myself in the beginning, always nervous about someone being there while I was at my shop or being locked out. Dumb stuff now that I think of it, but now I can’t wait to get home and finally be off my feet even if there is someone there waiting to murder me. Normally I'm getting up and down all day working at the shop since there are so many people coming in. Asking so many questions about what made me create this out of that and what inspired me. My mind. 

“Hey..” 

The one girl who had long blonde hair was looking at the newest little china plate I had made and walked up to the counter. She finally mustered enough courage to come up to me without her girlfriends. Of course they were by the door whispering to one another, the little plate had roses painted all over it that matched the ones on top of the counter in the vase that was beside the cash register they were starting to wilt a little.They were my inspiration for the week. I smiled as I wrapped the plate in brown paper and tied it with some pale string for travel. 

“Will that be all?” 

“What are you talking about?” 

The voice was almost shrill and weasel like, I refocused my eyes and realized I wasn’t in my little shop in the middle of White Plains. I was at my new job at the bar. The voice had almost made my ears bleed one time when he fussed at me for not cleaning the glasses right when I first started a few years ago. 

“Nathan I don’t pay you to talk to yourself, I pay you to make people drinks when they ask for them and do it fast” 

He was older and bald while having a small face to match his unproportioned forehead making it look bigger than it really was. His name was Jim and he was dressed in black pants and a tight fitted plain white dress shirt tonight to match it with a matte black bowtie in the center of his tall collar. It was like he spent hours on it to be perfect. He was my boss. We didn’t talk much unless it was for me to go on my break which was ten minutes. They’ve cut the numbers down since when things were normal. 

“Right, sorry I was lost in my mind again..”

He cut me off when I began to explain, it was normal.

“I don’t care that you were lost once more on the job, probably thinking about the fucking time left you had.”

 He had a sour look on his face as he turned away from me and continued.

“Stop cleaning that one glass, you've been at it for six minutes now, there's people coming in. Remember the rules?”

Of course, I remembered the fucking rules, I wasn’t an idiot. Plus I had been working here for longer than I can remember. At least it paid the very expensive bills I had.  I put the very clean glass on the stack of others while there were plenty more unwashed in the sink. I make drinks and do it quickly enough for them to even consider paying me more than exactly what the drink costs. Yeah, the job paid but it wasn’t like the shop I had. I don’t speak unless spoken to, oh and I don’t tell them anything about myself. Not even my name.

Because they have been known for bad things to happen to people who speak more than they should when they're out of turn. I looked towards the door and in walked a seemingly older man who looked about thirty to forty was dressed in a nice dark red suit but his shirt was undid a few buttons at the top to breathe, his shirt was also untucked seeming he was off work and ready to wind down. I don't blame him, he was a regular here. I saw the smile on his face and returned it as he came towards the bar. He sauntered in knowing that the few people in there had their eyes on him. I stood behind the bar waiting for him to sit down so I could recite my lines like we always did with each other. it was almost like a game now. He chose a spot near the end closest to the door. Smart. 

“Can I get you anything to drink, Sir?” 

He looked at the menu that was on the wall behind me decorated in bright gold letters illuminating the specials that night. Even though he had been here enough times to know the items on the menu by heart he played along with our routine. 

“I’ll take a..um Moscow Mule with extra lime” 

This was something he got when he supposedly had a hard day from my experiences with him in the past. He stumbled a little on the last words, seeming he was already intoxicated but I didn’t question it. He was already nicer than the rest of them that come here often.

I poured the ingredients into a copper mug with some ice, added the sprig of mint along with the extra squeeze of lime then slid it his way. He took it with one hand and picked up the mint, looking to study each of its little leaves and grooves, then dropped it beside the mug and took a little swig, really taking the time to savor the taste. I looked away and started cleaning the rest of those glasses in the sink I never got to. Jim walked off behind the doors to the break room to probably sit down and smoke a cigar until it seemed a little too long for him to be gone and then come back and say he “lost track of time”. In that little weasel voice of his…

 Lucky him.

The man who I half knew picked up the drink once more and walked to the windows behind him. We were in a tall building with lots of stores and shops beneath us. The stores under us I didn’t know what they held but I do know I was told to not go into them if I wanted to keep the job. Walking up those stairs every night I never had gotten used to the view and being so high up that every time you would look down you would see the world spin. There was fog on the glass from the perspiration of the many clouds looming to start a storm from above us.

“Wonder how high up we are?” 

I didn’t answer him even though I knew how far. I once counted how many steps because I was so bored. 3542 steps. I was picking up the two glasses the last people left on the bar and wiped down the water rings left by their drinks and grabbed the two dollar bills they left as a tip. It wouldn’t help I knew that but I grabbed them anyway. He didn’t seem to be bothered that I didn’t answer him. He turned towards me, 

“What's your name kid?” 

I cringed at the question with my back turn, I could feel his eyes boring into my scrawny back. Jim would not stop telling me when I had first begun this job that I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone anything. Or else I would have had to meet with some upper management and go through a whole series of questions that would just make my life more complicated than it had to be. I turned around and he was closer than he was from standing at the windows.

“Oh uh, we’re not allowed to say Sir. I’m sorry”. 

He smiled at me and it was calm, it kind of worried me that it seemed calm but there was something telling me not to be. 

“Not a problem ..I just thought I'd ask since I see you here so often” 

His voice was calm and collected. He sat down at the bar again in his original seat. 

Now it was my turn to smile. I worked every night just to pay rent this month and it was exhausting. Jim normally only lets me off four days of the month and it’s not my choice what days I get. But it wasn't like I had huge plans when I was able to get off work. I looked around and only saw one other person in the place at the end of the table who was slouched over holding onto his beer glass half-assed off the counter and decided to risk it. 

“Well, between me and you. I’m Nathan”

The guy looked up to me from his drink, “I’m Mark.” 

He stuck his hand out to me from across the counter and began to start another sentence but a tall woman walked inside the place and he stopped immediately. She was wearing a long red dress with a slit up her left side revealing her fishnets. She was already tall to begin with but the heels just added on to her dominatrix look. The plunging neckline didn’t seem to hide anything either.

Mark dropped his hand back to his side and looked down at his drink again trying to be polite while I got a fresh glass ready to mix things for her. She sat down in the seat right next to Mark, even though there were ten empty ones. Maybe that was his wife? He looked old enough to have one. I caught myself thinking about her legs when she looked at me like she was a lioness waiting for prey.

“What can I get you, Miss?” I stood ready in case she was in a mood and ordered a really complicated drink. That's all these women today order, I guess it suits their personalities.  

“White rum shots, two.” --”And keep them coming” 

Her voice had a sultry tone to it, like one of those old jazz singers that were all over the city, except something told me she didn’t use her voice to sing. I grabbed two shot glasses and the bottle of White rum under the counter while she quietly talked to Mark, slowly scooting closer to him and messing with his legs with one of her long heels. I couldn’t hear what she was asking him but he didn’t seem bothered with the whole scenario going on so I just kept coming back when both of the shot glasses were empty. 

-------------------------------

It was around two in the morning when the lady had gotten up from the seat beside Mark and he stood up beside her. She smiled a dazzling white smile that even I could see from across the bar and in low lighting. She looked like she belonged in one of those older teeth commercials I would see while I was waiting for my cartoon to come back on Tv. Mark put his hand around the small of her back and it was like she arched it on purpose to have it fit better. She whispered something once more in his ear and placed a small card in his suit pocket. This caught my attention. She caught my eye as she turned around and I swore I saw her wink. And it felt as if she was here and then she was gone. I assumed Mark would follow her out but he sat back down. Maybe he’d meet her back at home.  

“One more drink before you go?” I talked loudly since it was just me and him. The slouched man eventually left and spilled his beer on the floor for me to clean up for him as he stumbled through the small door leaning on the rail down the many, many steps. That would be fun to watch I won't lie. Jim never came back from his break. Figures. Mark sat up a little more

“Yeah..I’ll just have a glass of water” 

“Good Man..”  I smiled as I poured him a tall ice water and placed it down in front of him

“She got you all worked up?” 

He half chuckled “Nah..she uh didn’t do that” 

“That's not your wife?” 

Mark looked as though I just called him an idiot and sat the glass back down a little loud.

“Fuck no” 

He looked at me like I was high and took the glass and drank the rest of his water in a few gulps “Didn’t know her” 

Now I have to find out more.

“Then what did she give you?” 

He searched around in his jacket pocket as if there was more room in there for more than a business card. He pulled it out and handed it to me. 

It had nothing but a few small dots on the front of it and a big blue "X" on the right corner, nothing on the back

I looked at him like this was some sort of rude joke. It was too late in the night for me to find anything funny. Especially when I didn't get my break and I still had to clean up that stupid asshole's beer seeping into the dark red carpet.

“Uh..what is it..?”

He took it out of my hands then placed it back in the jacket pocket and patted it for safekeeping.

“Business” He smiled the brightest smile that night and took the empty glass of water that was filled with ice cubes and took one and popped it in his mouth like the pieces of gum back at my store. 

I smiled back at him and began to turn and clean the glass he used for his water. In the time it had taken me to clean them, he had walked back over to the windows. I saw lightning out of the corner of my eyes through the clouds. He walked slowly like that woman he was with, almost stalking. Before I could ask him if he needed anything else before I started to close down and started the long cleanup of the beer in the carpet he turned to me fairly quickly and took a few steps toward me so fast it almost looked like he stumbled.

“You look just like your father you know”. 

That I did not expect to hear, maybe it was my mind giving me tricks and the sleepiness taking over, plus the fact that the lady he was with was making him take shots like he was in a college frat, but the look on his face as he chewed his ice confidently proved me wrong. 

“Let me know if you ever wanna find out what happened to them Nathan, I’m getting tired of coming in here late at night and going home with nothing.” 

I didn’t know if I was mad or intrigued. I contemplated my situation. “What if this guy is a serial killer?” Or worse he actually was right. 

He was out the door now heading down the many flights of steps now. 

“Son of a bitch”  I grunted through my teeth and I looked around at the empty bar and made my decision faster than I bought my old shop, took down my hair and threw my old scratchy red bowtie on the floor and ran out the door behind him.

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(thank you for reading and please reblog, repost, like, share, follow, all that jazz lol I have no idea if this will take me anywhere but I thought Ill never know until I try! Also please let me know if there are any tips, thoughts or ideas on how to go with this story or even if you want more! I also take requests too!)

Much love, Hannah <3

[itsays]

I've watched the whole (almost 2-hour long) interview where P'Jojo said those things you mentioned about Boston and Mew, and I don’t see how you interpreted that as him "villainizing promiscuity," especially when he made it clear (during several points in the whole interview) that OF isn't there to moralise or teach a lesson, but to portray a group of different queer friends without judgement. Also, him saying Boston doesn't need an explanation for being bad (because not everyone who does shitty things irl has some deeper/traumatic explanation as to why they do those things), even out of context doesn't sound like him villainizing Boston for being slutty.

That being said I don't even agree with him that Boston has no backstory/explanation for his actions. We've seen a little bit of his home life and while he hasn't had any major trauma (like Top and Ray have had), his mom did very much abandon him (for her new life in New York) and his dad is way too nonchalant/dismissive about Boston. He doesn't take any interest in Boston's passion for photography and instead of being concerned about how Boston is doing at school, he just waves it off with a "well, if you don't graduate, you can just go live with your mom in NY." Some people might think it's great for a kid that their parents aren't putting pressure on them about school but there's a line. If they're always like "whatever, it's totally fine" it just makes it seem like they don't care about you and your future. And while there's nothing wring with Boston sleeping around, we do have some backstory on that too. His dad clearly thinks relationships are bullshit (possibly because his own with Boston's mom fell apart) and he's passed those beliefs on to his son. Praising him for not settling down and being proud of him for that? I don't think I need to tell anyone that this kind of stuff from your parents sticks and it helps shape you into the person you are as an adult. So yeah, I definitely disagree with Jojo that Boston doesn't have a backstory just because it's not as intense and trumatic as Top's or Ray's.

i only watched those two specific clips, however it left a bad taste in my mouth how dismissive he was of boston. it seems like a case where the character accidentally ends up having depth and nuance when the writer didnt even intend them to. because of those two comments i made the association that to him mew = good because he's "pure" vs boston = bad bevause he's "inpure". at least in those two clips he didnt explain what he meant by good or bad but what other conclusion can i make when put next to each other?

i like that the show just portrays reality without telling you what's right and wrong, that's what makes it fun! but if he's giving his own opinion outside of the show then he clearly has one influenced obviously by his own morality.

i wanna be wrong! i just dont know how else should i interpret these comments. i genuinely think he's great and people who treat him like he's the worst thing to happen to television simply dont understand his work, but again this comment just made me a little confused and upset!

i understand boston is very selfish so that could also be what he meant but again, why dismiss his backstory like that, why is boston so inheritely evil like he was some sort of abuser or something? ray and nick have done worse things in my opinion, boston is not by any means evil beyond saving

[eastcoastzilla]

34!!

I'm almost positive no one gets on tumblr anymore so I'm gonna use it like a livejournal from 2005

Crazy to think that person above in the photo is me + I am now 34. Wasn't I just 19 yesterday? How does time do that? Move so fast and not at all, all at the same time..

So much changes, yet also stays the same. Year 5 this Nov at Cowan - I would say I am content there. It works, it is steady, + that's all I can really ask for at this point. Everything in life is super unstable and as I get older I find myself craving that stability more and more. That feeling of peace; that feeling of everything being okay and knowing that whatever comes our way we will be okay. The old saying "we want for nothing" becomes more relatable in my 30's. Don't get me wrong though - I do NOT feel 34. Heck, I don't even feel 30. I still feel like I'm in my 20's. I think my a lot of my generation feels that way until they are in their 40s/50s and I'm okay with it. From working at a retirement home for 10 years, I've come to highly believe that age is just a number. (Check back in with me in five years to see if I have a new opinion. I bet I do.)

Material things don't matter. I don't need things to feel like I've lived a good life. I just want to be happy and find enjoyment with the person I love to share life with :). Things are scary and life can be fucking hard but I'm proud of how far we've come. Never asking for too much but it can feel like the odds are stacked against us/me. I try to remind myself that there are peaks and valleys. Writing shit out helps me get it out and move on - that's how I've always been able to process things.

Rinzler got sick right when we were going away to NY for my birthday. We spent 3 days thinking we were losing our best buddy of 12 years. He ended up pulling through and Perry hall animal hospital saved the day but it was super scary + eye opening. He's getting older and we are trying to appreciate the time we have with him here. It's why I wish I had a pet growing up so I would be more prepared to lose one since it's inevitable. At least we have him for now and he's a great light in our lives.

It's September and very soon it's the first day of fall. I'm super bummed summer is over - I'm always cold so I'm down with the heat! However I can't wait to camp soon.

Friends are grown up, moved away, married + doing the fam/kids thing. I love to see them happy and enjoy meeting their babies. Kae's boys are amazing - I'm always blown that she is a mom just because it will always feel like we are still 16 burning CDs for the first time.

Idk why but there's a weird stigma about people who don't want to have kids. Plus I wish people would stop saying "want". Of course I WANT to have kids. I believe I SHOULDNT have kids for my own personal reason that's no one's business but my own. So even though I have chosen not to at this time, it's not okay to assume that I don't get sad about not having kids or that I hate kids. Neither are true. Sometimes I have to not look too deeply at photos online because I will get into my own head and it will take off from there. I don't think that will ever go away. Maybe it's a natural thing - like a natural "maturnal" thing something within me that can't help it cos it screams HEY YOU SHOULD PROCREATE AND BE A PARENT. Whatever it is, it's le pits. There is an eternal, internal voice war going on in my head - should I feel guilty knowing that sometimes I can't spend too much time online or I get really sad about seeing all the mom photos, knowing I'll never be a mom.. I'll never get those firsts.. It's my choice to not have kids so is it even fair for me to get sad? Uh yes thats how you feel let yourself feel it - then I disconnect and stop looking or thinking about it until the next time I do it all over again. Idk, maybe it's something I'm supposed to work through? It's weird. Logically I know it's a smart decision for where I'm at, where we are at, and things directly relating to the happiness and fullness of the child in question. It's a decision I am content with but at the same time have so many thoughts on. Hopefully it'll get easier. Another part of me hopes that I will finally befriend a human being in my later years and we can chat about it like rory and lane. But clearly I just watch too much TV/movies. At least those are good right now. Except for the internet - XFINITY sucks ass.

That is all. Goodnight :)

[indigo474]

Bye bye July-

My love affair is over.. I went to see him on Friday after work. Anyone who knows me- hardly anyone-haha- knows i go to bed early. I had to work until 9. I was a little concerned about being tired and showing up in a bad mood. I knew it was going to be a late night for me- but i decided to go for it.. I said to myself... as long as its not raining i'll be ok. I much prefer to drive during the day and night driving combined with rain.. just sucks. I head out after work feeling good. windows down, music up. I get on the turn pike and i was truly happy.. i did notice lightening up ahead but thought it was heat lightening and i was super stocked because i thought mother nature was putting on a spectacular show for me. Then, it started.. the rain, treacherous. it was like an omen.. dont go April, dont go.. but onward i went. i pick him up, he tells me he cooked dinner for us and we need to stop at wawa for bread. ok no problem. i'm still in an OK mood.. happy to be at my destination and looking forward to getting to the hotel to relax, have a beer and eat. Now, i had been thinking this man may not be too bright but... i didnt want to judge too harshly, after all he doesnt speak english and so on..we order 2 rolls from wawa.. in spanish and it was almost like he couldnt read.. we get to the hotel and he tells me he is waiting for them to send the key via notification.. earlier in the week he sent me a screen shot with the reservations. we are in the parking lots its 11 something. the key is not coming.. i say lets go in and see whats up- he says he wants to wait. I ask him how long does he want to wait. We go in and the guy says the reservations were not completed online- my friend needs an id to complete them. he doesnt have an id. It was a fucking disaster. we had to go to another hotel..didnt get there until after 12.. i paid. the sex was ok.. i was pissed, but i was like whatever.. i already had it in my head i was done with him.. he made dinner but failed to have eating utensils. luckly i grabbed napkins from wawa. he tells me he wants to take me to NY.. you cant even book a hotel aint no way in hell im going to NY with you. he tells me he went from mexico, arizona to NY. the first time we were together he told me he was in Charlotte.. i ask him about it and he says he never said that. He said it- i have a real big fucking problem with people who say shit and then say they didnt say it.. like a huge problem.. never speak to you again problem.. He tried extra hard because he knew i was upset. he kept asking me if i was still made.. a little. the next day i tell him i am ready to go as i want to get home. he asked me to take him food shopping.. No, i cant do that. He never offered to give me money for the room. I didnt ask.. i honestly wanted to see what he would do. Nope. it is what it is.. i dont know if the whole room thing was intentional.. im assuming yes.. he texted me a few times yesterday one i got home.. i texted him back saying what a shitty thing he did by not offering money for the room and that i didnt want to see him anymore. the end..

AND.. it was fun, but i knew it wasnt what i wanted. between my thinning hair, aging face, saggy body, i dont know how i'll ever meet someone. i'll have to depend on my winning personality. HAHA.. i text these men online and when i am myself, i never hear from them again. its hard to to think that i am the problem. it doesnt matter if im a good person.. i think a lot of guys want a someone who wants them for the things they can provide.. its easier than putting in any kind of effort. I dont think i want too much.. i just dont know if there is anyone in this world like me. i am going to have to fully embrace my singleness.. i havent wanted to do things alone in a while. i guess i am going to have to start or just not do things. I am trying to save money, so there is that and that is an excuse to not go out. My mind goes back to the fact that i wasted so much of my life with someone who never loved me and raising kids who dont love me.. such a fucking waste and i'm so far behind in life and cant image anyone ever loving me and that breaks my heart. that breaks my heart because thats all i really want.. someone to love and who loves me.. someone who consistently shows up.. someone i can count on.. ive never had that.

My friend in work got her xanax filled- actually got a higher dose too. She tells me she is positive Dr W does not have my records- i told her i was kick out of his office- she said the same thing happened to her years ago.. of course i didnt go into detail. she tells me to go, get what i want.. i know she is telling me because she is trying to be my friend.. i wish i had friends who asked me if i worked out today- or offered to go to the gym with me or asked me who much i lifted this week or maybe told me what kind of supplements they take or asked me what i took.. or shit about pre workout of food prep or asked me about my mental health anything other than where to get drugs.. i don't need anyone giving me advice on how to self destruct- i know i am capable of doing that on my own without the help of anyone.. and i know she's not trying to me mean or hurt me or anything like that- she thinks she is helping me by telling me to go see this Dr.. she doesnt know my story and everything that ive been through- and even if i told her, she still wouldn't know my story. maybe its just what i have to deal with because i told her to go see him.. i only did because i was tired of hearing her say xanax would cure all her problems..

I wanted to run on Friday but got stuck at the mechanics.. i didn't run Thursday so wed was the last time i ran and i didn't lift this week and that probably explains why i feel the way i do.

the weirdest thing. coming home from Downingtown.. i started seeing 3's everywhere.. like i made the right decision and i'm on the right path. trust the process.. the process sucks at times.. and its hard to trust anything..

i have to tell Madison Aunt Joanne is sick.I want to do it before my Mom does. i think Maddy has my Mom blocked.. but i really should tell her. weird thing, when i use to cry everyday you couldnt tell.. i would cry on my lunch break and return to work and my eyes looked fine. i haven't been crying and now when i do.. its so noticeable..

I need to get a new couch and get rid of the one i have. I would like to move but everything is so expensive.. i'm not sure what i am going to do.. i guess i'll keep looking and hope that something good comes my way..

[anavatazes]

Been a while since the game, but I think the substance abuse and major chronic pain was from the show. May have to tap into a let’s play or three to see for sure. Most recent one I watched was Jacksepticeye’s from when both games originally released. I seem to recall Joel’s knee bothering him a bit in the second game, in some scenes that took place before a certain particular one that I am NOT spoiling for anyone, but I could also be mismembering. Twist my arm to watch play throughs of the first game :D.

Some of this stuff seems to be mostly things from the second game, which is spoilerly territory, and I am staying out of that, for now, out of respect for those who follow me and wish to remain spoiler free. Two things I do want to touch on though:

Tommy’s Grief- In game and in the show, it is not touched upon enough! This man helped his brother, as much as a troubled, younger brother could. I am pretty sure his time in the military is a show thing too, I don’t remember it from the games, but, again, checking out the PTs. Thinking about saving up for the PC version of the first game. Just so I can explore on my own. But, that was his niece, his own flesh and blood, and he was too late to get there to help his brother protect her. I imagine he lives with his own guilt, and would not be surprised if he and Joel fought over it at least, that if he had gotten there sooner, then Sarah would still be alive. I can see Tommy confessing all of this to Maria, to help him heal. But if he didn’t, it would make some of his choices in Part 2 make so much more sense, other than the bare bones (ifykyk). I wish we could get something about the brothers pregame, but also just after the outbreak. It would help the audience to understand so much more. And give the Tommy character much needed closer, unless he will be in the third game. Which is doubtful. 

Joel’s potential religion- Now, I do not know where the OP is from, and do not know how familiar they are with Southern US culture and all of its sayings, regardless if they actually believe in it or not. I am originally from Upstate NY, so it was a shock to me as well, when I moved Southward almost thirty years ago. Christian and non Christian alike will use the phrase “The good Lord...” or just, “The Lord...”. A “Come to Jesus meeting” is also pretty popular, and me being a Norse Pagan, have used that a few times with my own kids. Joel is a Texan. Chances are he was raised a Christian. Chances are he believes in that stuff. Chances are he may be devout. But, considering everything laid out for us in the game and the show, if he ever was a believer in any god, he left that at the door the moment Sarah died. So I am going to chalk this up to a Southern Culture thing, and not religion whatsoever. 

Things i don’t think we talk about enough in tlou fic

Joel’s substance abuse issues

Joel’s chronic pain (as a girlie with chronic pain that’s the result of traumatic injuries, it’s such a day-to-day battle and it NEVER gets talked about)

Tommy’s deployment and time in the military

Maria’s son

Ellie’s anxiety about infecting others (RE: when she first kissed Cat)

Dina’s home life

Joel’s potential religion and it’s effect on Ellie. In their last conversation, Joel says, “Even if the Lord gave me a second chance, I would do it all over again.” She was also so, so worried about how Joel would react to her coming out and almost didn’t tell him at all.

TOMMY’S GRIEF