#it's about standards and values
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sometimes gatekeeping is good and healthy and necessary for a subculture <3
#it's about standards and values#conservatives and homophobes can fuck off from my alternative spaces thank you very much#i see so much of this shit on ig it makes my blood boil
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me when people give canonically conventionally unattractive characters instagram face
#why would you do that#especially if their looks are a big part of their character#like specifically thinking about arya and brienne#people loooove giving arya a facelift#“oh she just thinks shes ugly”/“oh she will grow into it”#why cant she just be unconventionally attractive?#why cant we appreciate people who dont fit into small arbitrary standards#or when they draw asha without her big hooked nose#dont even get me started on brienne....#people are so obsessed with making women beautiful as if it were the most important thing about them#beauty is not a personal value or trait its a assignment#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#art#fandom#arya stark#brienne of tarth#asha greyjoy
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I love how people are only ever interested in defending Arya's right to be weird-looking. It's never defending her intelligence from people who claim she's incapable of thinking for herself, highlighting her importance to the plot and refusing to see her as just a prop, acknowledging how much of her story gets stolen and given to other characters, talking about her trauma or how often it gets erased and overlooked, seeing her as more than just an attack dog/bodyguard, etc. Nope. It's just a "why can't people let Arya be ugly/unconventional looking? :(" post every other week because people are, for whatever reason, obsessed with how Arya is visually perceived. One of the most misinterpreted characters yet the issue is only ever with her being portrayed as "too pretty" or the wrong "type" of pretty. This fandom will entirely rewrite a character's motivations, values, and role in the story to the point that they consider references to canon "hate" but! The true injustice to canon is we acknowledge that she is described as pretty several times. Arya simply existing as her pretty, important, and non-conforming self is too complex and confusing for people to comprehend 😔.
#arya stark#asoiaf#fandom nonsense#how can Arya be considered pretty?! she's literally non-conforming?? being pretty belongs to /feminine/ female characters...right? 😱#I feel like these people tell on themselves with how much they value beauty because they make it /such/ a big deal#when her self-esteem issues regarding being a lady are infinitely more relevant to her story (and more interesting to discuss)#her being mocked for having the Stark look is a supporting story element that also reinforces her being an outcast considering#her mother + all of her trueborn siblings have a southern look and she was raised with southern standards#not to mention her non-conformity and often messy appearance heavily impacted how her looks were perceived#George writes Arya's non-conformity as parallel to traditional femininity so it makes sense that beauty is one of those aspects he subverts#(also why it makes sense that her future includes accepting her identity as a Lady while redefining the role but that's off topic)#this is why you need to look at the writing instead of judging based on the /type/ of character you think Arya is#and! it's truly not that serious 😭 I'm sure it will be a plot point eventually but it's not 98% of her story like these people pretend#Arya is such an interesting + well-written character but we constantly get people rewriting her and nonsense discourse around her looks#such rich material and all you can say is that she's an /odd-looking feral gremlin/ and I'm supposed to take your opinion seriously#at this point the obsession with Arya being /weird/ looking has to be some projection of personal self-esteem issues#there's no way /this/ is the hill you're willing to die on with all the terrible takes about Arya from this fandom#wish people who didn't care about her would just stop bringing her up so we could have our discussions about her in peace
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this is a largely meaningless observation but, based on the fleki uniform demonstration comic, mithrun seems to wear the default style of the canary uniform, probably because he has no desire to personalize it or preference for how to do so, etc. when he does seem to pick his own clothes, though, they don’t look super in-line with what we’re shown of elven clothing styles in his region: high collars look like they’re fairly popular with elves in general, but out of uniform he tends to be a lot more covered up than everyone else—long sleeves, long pants, boots rather than sandals, and he dresses that way both prior to getting eaten and after the events of the series. anyway it’s kind of cute that after everything that happened to him, someone cared enough to remember what his clothing preferences used to be.
#sorry my head is full of him#dungeon meshi spoilers#just mentioned. just a bit#dungeon meshi#mithrun#he’s like a case study in the problems that would Of Course arise in a society with the standards and values we frequently see in elves#in fantasy which is very refreshing because again What is with fantasy writers writing their elven societies Like That and going no they can#be weird elitists they’re hot and they’re kind of right. and leaving it at that. i mean i know why that happens but. anyway#if elves are going to be elfing in that way it’s so much more interesting to see how that manifests and affects individuals within that#culture. this was a large part of essek’s appeal to me also lmfaondns and it is why i can’t stop giving my dnd characters elf ancestry. if#you’re going to make them be fucked up let me think about the consequences !!!! but anyway yeah no mithrun gets to be on my mind 24/7#because he Is the consequences. and it’s very good but also i am so so sad
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A small gif set of *that* part of Shoma's programs the past few seasons ⋆˙⟡♡
Happy birthday Shoma! Your skating is truly special and unmatched. Wishing you the best in your journey towards finding your self-satisfaction~ Hope you have a great year ahead of you! ⋆˙⟡♡
#shoma uno#figure skating#fskateedit#my gifs#mine: shoma#birthday post#aaaaa this is kinda random#but yeah I wanted to celebrate Shoma's beautiful skating#he just! keeps getting better hhhhh#really hope he can find /that/ performance in his standards#something that he can truly be happy about once he finishes his program#and has that rewatch value for him#obviously as a fan#shoma has loads of programs and performances i'd watch again and again#but i hope he too can feel the same about his programs#heck gpf 2022 is one of my faves ever which is why i included it here lol#even if he doesn't feel like he was satisfied performance wise ksfdj#anw ily shoma hope you keep thriving in life
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A fantastic thing about Wangxian is that they both have vast, bulletproof, towering edifices of self-esteem.
They know they're hot shit, they know almost nobody can compare; nothing changes their minds about this at any point. Even at their lowest they think highly of themselves; they're confident in their capabilities and judgments, and that they can outperform their peers.
They're arrogant, and they can back that shit up, and they have backed it up so often they're unshakeable on the subject of their own excellence.
This enormity of self-esteem is not at all incompatible with compromised self-worth, especially on Wei Wuxian's part, because the titanic self-destructive hubris that combination instills is the engine that drives his epic tragic backstory. But that's different! Thinking you're expendable and thinking you're inferior are separate judgements, that can certainly influence but don't force one another.
And one of the reasons this is cool is how the story holds them up against characters that are mostly pretty confident if not necessarily secure about their own value, but have very fragile self-esteem.
In varying ways, this is more or less what's up with Su She, Jiang Cheng, and Wen Chao.
Xue Yang also, but he's so weird about it it feels wrong to group him with those three.
Jin Guangyao is hard to place on this scale, because he shares wangxian's overweening sense of being better and more capable than other people as a rule, but he's not quite secure about it, and he shares Xue Yang and Su She's insane levels of conviction that he deserves to get what he feels is his due, at any cost to anybody.
But he definitely has a more complex relationship to that belief than either of them; su she's just like 'it's not fair!!!!!!!!!' about literally anything that doesn't go his way and xue yang is like 'obviously my finger is worth more than hundreds of lives because. it was mine.'
#hoc est meum#when jiang cheng's self-esteem totally cratered it took his self-worth with it and he just kind of. stopped.#but the rest of the time he knows he's a high-value person even if that awareness is tied so so tightly to his position in society#but his self-esteem is Brittle As Fuck#meanwhile lwj's sense of himself as among the best is very solid and secure and not vulnerable to being shown up#probably because he wasn't *emotionally abused* about not living up to lan xichen asd;lkfjfadkl#but his self-worth is definitely capable of taking hits when he fails to live up to his own high standards#in basically any way#he mostly grows out of this as he grows up#jiang cheng probably grew out of the insecurity SOME by proving his capability all that time#but definitely less because he was not able to make peace with his demons at all#(wwx is his demons)#mdzs#meta
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you know the more i think about the events of season eight from sam's perspective the more i think. yeah id want to kill myself too
#like coming from being dropped into grief -> losing the foundation you were building very slowly and painfully#-> dropped right into hatred and disbelief -> some semblance of hypocrisy that he also didn't have any right feeling but Felt anyway#because of how close to home it hit (amy‚ his own blood sucking) -> pissing off your Father Figure quote unquote in the afterlife#-> the whole thing about leaving benny in purgatory after dean's valued benny's life openly in front of you#and trying to compartmentalise benny's wishes and body language#-> and the constant undercurrent emotional abuse (dean going from this opague hatred of sam's decisions right into some kind of#weird distrust of sam as a fragile thing that has sam questioning the grounds of their relationship as he jumps between faithfulness#and faithlessness‚ a lot of the former being expressed outwards towards third party relationships)#how the fuck do you deal with ANY of that??#like dean sets the standards of their relationship yes#but what do you do when these standards are all unclear and unknown and changing constantly because of dean's current emotional volatility??#sam winchester#&
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JRR Tolkien: This is my fantasy race that I invented
JRR Tolkien: They come of age at 33. I've made this a plot point
The fandom: Okay........ but......... obviously they're considered adults at 18-21.
JRR Tolkien: They come of age at 33. Hope this helps <3
The fandom: No, no, no, don't be silly. People become adults at 18-21
JRR Tolkien: In this fictional culture that I've invented people come of age at 33.
The fandom: Okay but clearly what you mean when you say that is something else. I don't know what you mean by it but obviously it's something other than coming of age. Something made up, probably. It's definitely not important.
JRR Tolkien: It's hugely important and I spend a whole chapter setting it up
The fandom: But an 18 year old is an adult, tho......
#i actually loathe this issue fandom has with fictional worlds having different ages at which people are considered adults#lotr is probably where its most annoying because the discrepancy is SO big and tolkien was SO clear about it#like! newsflash! this is cultural! just because its 18 in contemporary america doesnt mean thats what it is and should be everywhere!#and its just annoying in fandom#its outright stupid the hoops they will jump through to try and represent it so it seems like other modern day cultures#have the exact same standards as modern day america#i know its hard to look past your own cultural values and understand that they are subjective and not universal#but you have to try. it is in fact a moral imperative that you try#18 is not a magic age. its just when they arbitrarily decided you can be drafted in the us. thats all
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How did you decide which characters would be gender selectable vs fixed? That’s always been so fascinating to me!!
I actually couldn't decide 😅 I knew I wanted to have an even amount of gender ROs and needed 1 more boy and 1 more girl. But I couldn't decide: did I want to stick with writing Vivian or explore Vincent? Did I want R to be the rebellious bad boy or bad girl?
So I didn't decide! I wanted to write both versions of those characters 😄 and here we are. Overwhelmed lololololol
I initially had the silly idea of having all the cisgender ROs be gender selectable. Then I started learning how to code this shit and realized that was NOT going to happen 😆 I still kind of love the idea of f!Gabe, f!Jack, and gender-swapped Emersons... but it was scrapped way before it was ever serious. Nothing about personality would have changed, but too many backstories and childhoods needed to be assessed and changed depending on gender. Like, fascinating stuff that I would love to write and explore — but it's just too much writing. There's a whole crime plot waiting on me!
Like, the childhood Gabe had would spit f!Gabe out quite differently... I kinda don't wanna think about it 😐 since I won't commit to writing it anyway. m!Jessie's childhood would be super different from a spiritual standpoint... f!Jack would be under a lot of pressure from her dad's side of the family to fit in and be popular... The Emersons would have to be completely — just completely rewritten oh my gosh. This I actually do kinda wanna explore on my own 'cause I think it'll give me a fuller read on their parents. Plus, how does m!Heidi's character develop since his dad actually gives a shit what he does and invests in his future?? What's a f!Curt like with basically no familial attention and oversight??? I have no idea but I kind of want to!! 🤣
#gender-selectable heidi and curt was the most tempting one#now that i think about it the goodnights would be SO mean to a female jack oh no#relentless expectations and accusations of taking after her mother 😐#idek who m!jessie would be... it would be such a different upbringing#i'm realizing jack and jessie definitely get prince and princess treatment due to their families' values and gender dynamics#f!curt's reputation would be so so much worse bc lbr double standards#my imagination is just going wild right now sorry for the rambling!#bendablebananas#ROs#writing#gender stuff!
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dog idc we went through the "don't try to fix your partner" arc already and I refuse to believe we're doing it again. trying to fix someone's bone malunion because they hurt and you can do magic IS misguided but it's not the same as blorbofying your partner. you can't fix him but not in like a metaphor for a savior complex way. it's more because you don't understand osteotomies
#d20 mismag#like yeah the character development in the 4 episode season was rushed but i nonetheless dont want it to not matter#ig#less of an unlicensed trying to fix him moment and more of a doctor prescribing bloodletting moment#ie WOW you were SO wrong. but it wasnt cause you don't value the person you're doing that to its cause youre stupid.#like to me. evan's 'its ok. i still have it' is the same as 'i don't mind getting a tattoo on the bus'#raise your standards king. people CARE about you#and also in k's defense kingpin did this to g13's skull and it worked fine /j
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SO funny that the only explanation for why Aric stabbed Rhian is, in Japeth's words, "because [Rhian] said things about [his and Aric's] friendship" (the full actual quote is "because you said things! About him and me! About our friendship!"). Which is such a funny way of phrasing it because that could mean LITERALLY anything. Soman why would you phrase it like that. genuinely
The only other elaboration we get on the stabbing ever is right after the first line and it's vague as to what it's actually talking about, which is where Rhian says "Because he was a monster / a sadist with no soul" (which. yeah lmao), but that could be either "he stabbed me because he was a monster" OR "I said those things because he was a monster", and the rest of the line supports the second interpretation, so we just???? don't know what made aric do it??????? This is the single most influential event in the series it literally doubled the series' length what do you MEAN there's only ever two lines about it????? ? ? ??? arbed prequel when hello
#unadulterated rambling btw. it IS 2am#seriously. what the fuck happened in Arbed. how did we get here#im not against the interpretation that rhian said one (1) wrong thing and aric got him for it#while that is slightly out of character for him in my opinion (at least by pre-book 2 standards). yeah he would#japeth girl come back what was it. japeth. please#NOT liking what japeth knowing what was said implies btw. but that's neither here nor there#this post is also missing the crucial interpretation that rhian ii is not too fond of gay people. and thats. thats what he said#also! the other really funny bit of information revealed about arbed in this chapter!#they put arics expulsion to a VOTE. they made the ENTIRE STUDENT POPULATION VOTE ON IT#that is. so incredibly funny. 498 to 1 vote. can you fucking imagine being japeth in that situation. its so joever#why would they do that “hm this student tried to kill someone. this is a perfect opportunity to exercise democratic values”#do yall see why i wanted the arbed prequel this shits funny as hell#aric once again being the most unserious character in the series. 10 year streak#sge#tsfgae#school for good and evil#the school for good and evil#sfgae#japethposting#the school of good and evil#aricposting#getting too much post mileage lately that last tag has. unacceptable
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I’m hoping (I’m praying) that once the insecurities society has created for people—mainly women— becomes too much, the world will kind of reset and we’ll realize this is ridiculous and stop caring so much about appearance.
#like I hope the day will come that we all realize this is silly and it’s all bullshit and we just stop caring#and certain people need to stop influencing these insecurities because we just gained like 20 more in a span of 3 weeks#while I don’t think insecurities should even be a thing#they were more normal ones at first#but now it’s this ridiculously high standard that no one fucking fits#and the worst part is that if you don’t fit it you’re not even treated with basic human decency#if you’re not physically attractive people treat you like this object with no value#and it sucks#appearance should not matter this much#anyways#I had the urge to make this post bc I am so done with being told about some flaw somebody made up#maybe if we get lucky we can get men to stop ranking and rating girls based on how they look#body positive#I hope this reaches someone#insecurities#social media was our downfall#mysoginy#beauty standards#pretty privilege should not be a thing but it unfortunately s#pretty privilege#pjo#kotlc#fandoms#girlhood#but the downside of it#I should not be scared to eat and I’m tired of being so scared of gaining weight
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youtube
Love this interview... I have been semi-checking in on Zawe's journey since before certain stans were feeling some kinda way about her recent familial additions. I do for certain Black actors/creators especially, who seem to be moving in interesting ways in entertainment/film media...
-A remnant from a period when I used to go to screenings and blog about films (and was published a few times in a major national newspaper)... So, I knew of Zawe through the grapevine of her mentorship, i.e. she is the reason why Rege Jean Page of Bridgerton fame got to work in U.S. markets, as she sponsored him. And she is known, as one of those "good eggs" who will be accessible and help/advise especially young actors of color. ...But, I have some other stuff to say. This isn't about proving that she's an amazing human being. It's about a certain brand of misogynoir that some of these people far beneath her in self-knowledge, self-love, and just plain grown-ass-woman-personhood...keep letting fly in what they *think* are compliments, but actually are just trite microaggressions. Saying things like "as long she makes [T-blank H-blank] happy then she's alright" as if he's the centered human and her attachment renders her worthy somehow. Babies, as long as SHE'S happy. Yall. He's marrying up.
WAY UP and the fact that he knows this? Actually elevates him. She's been there.
She tells a story in the above interview that reminds me of Uzo Aduba's anecdote about her name , - of an incident when she was called to an early job (at 6!) and someone there said she wasn't pretty because of her gap and her Ugandan mother took her on past this person and into the room, ANYWAY.
... She learned a specific self-knowledge and self-love, that is necessary in very white western spaces that constantly pressures a narrow sense of worthiness and beauty, especially from Black women, something a lot of these small-minded stans don't even have a notion of seeing beyond. Zawe is biracial, and her features, aside from her skin tone are very African. So while she benefits from colorism, featurism is something I've seen those bigoted stans, pick on as well. She knows those features are what makes her beautiful and knew that, w/o and before her partner saw that too. And people who aren't blind narrow-minded ignoramuses can *also* see that. This is why I assert the fact of featurism needing to be in the conversation of light/dark privilege conversations. Lips, nose, gap, and even the set of her eyes are ethnic beauty markers within quite a few spaces in the Black African diaspora... My mom was an absolute stunner because of her gap.
Even the old school white model Lauren Hutton got there because of her gap. Uzo Aduba, who I have already mentioned has a deeper skintone and has similarly large round striking eyes, gap, and a non-pinched-nose *rightly* played Glinda in NBC's production of The Wiz a few years back, with Dorothy saying she's so beautiful *because* of those features, not despite them as a very narrow white-washed gaze would wrongly assert.
And while we're here that includes sizes and shapes too. I'm saying your boy is enjoying all that plush. A lot of yall need to read or reread Maya Angelou's Phenomenal Woman, for comprehension.
Anyway... All this to say I know Zawe is and will be fine regardless.
P.S. Maya Angelou *also* had height, and gap and was very much known for her beauty/magnetism as a woman when she was alive. :
#she's as steady in herself as ms. whoopi goldberg is and was back when ALL the comedians even some Black men were picking on her#for her African features meanwhile she pulled whoever she wanted and kept working and has her EGOT#I could also get into the notion that particularly worldly white folk with redhair are more inclined to understand#being picked apart or fetishized for a feature... and can have a leg up on empathy#especially I think when also in the spotlight#she also mentions sinead o'connor who also subverted standards and being an irish woman with her oppressive history pushed back with her ar#zawe ashton#interesting watch#meta#blah#getting ish off my chest#some of yall were comforted by the lie of a certain standard beauty being the only milkshake bringing them to yard#even beyond the misogynoir#grown ups in partnerships and marriages etc value other things and see beauty much differently when they mature.#I'm talking about grown ups some folks never grow to that point sadly#Youtube#I'm so glad she didn't quit acting#and I see TH giving his old theatre school buddies and Black women a word or boost or whatever he did.#...if he had a hand in that#love yourselves because of & not in spite of what you have going on
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Listen I'm a bit of a hater and I do have some reservations with the concept surrounding conformation and animal fancy as an institution but horses are one of the LAST animals you can really criticize for their conformation standards and just calling it eugenics. Unlike most dog breed standards, horse conformation is more predicated on their ability to function and perform work, or to carry a wholeass person on their backs so it's really important they got good structure!!! Sure there's halter horses bred purely for show and that's where you start getting the wonky dish faced Arabians and BBL quarter horses but unlike pugs the vast majority of horse breed standards do in fact keep the horse's best interests in mind.
#again my gripe is when conformation is valued ABOVE health and that isn't the case for horses#and utility livestock standards are like the opposite of dog fancy#they want hardy animals that stay healthy until slaughter and are very stringent about inbreeding numbers#well livestock mammals that is we dont talk about poultry#all my homies hate commercial poultry breeding
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Women’s self-image is as negative as ever despite the “body positivity” wave of choice feminism. Why?
I think one of the biggest reasons as to why women’s beauty standards and self-image are worse than even is because you can preach about unfair beauty standards all you want and tell women not to make fun of another woman’s looks but you can’t take away the social status and praise that women who are “beautiful” get from society (both men and women). You give them clout and praise them. Something both “body positivity” and “body neutrality” feminists do btw despite all the talk about acceptance.
It’s like saying you don’t support the ethics behind a product and yet still consume and buy it. In this case “beauty” being a luxury achieved via consumerism where women become the products (objects) that other women admire and obsess over. There is a demand so there is a supply PERIOD.
Women might not directly pursue beauty (“I do it for myself”) for men but nonetheless it’s definitely ingrained as a sign of status and that’s enough to cause a negative self-image in women who don’t participate. Men might have been the original perpetrators of installing unrealistic beauty standards for women but the victims (women) have also turned into perpetrators who can’t let go of the misogynistic status symbol of having value from appearances because it’s considered “culture”.
#ic.text#this goes for many spaces and#why I low key have little faith that women will every be free form this hyper fixation on looks#so you support hairy women and healthy eating but look at the own you praise#even if you’re not shit talking may women and saying positive words#it doesn’t go unnoticed how certain women are still valued#men don’t have a these self esteem issues because they are largely INDIFFERENT towards even handsome men#and this is why this whole ‘body positivity”’ from libfems to ‘body neutrality’#from radfems is just fake and two sides of the same coin#as long as you have have a constant steam of praise and clout for women#then women WILL be hella self-aware and conscious about their looks#how can’t they when ‘oh women pretty’ is constantly throw on their faces#that’s why women self monitor and all your ‘ x feature is pretty’ or ‘ have a neutral opinion on X feature because we’re human’ will never#work when you turn around and praise ( so raise the status of and regard) conventionally attractive women who perform femininity#it’s the leading cause as to why women pursue beauty - for praise and status - so of course the incentive will always be there#and to me it makes a lot of sense because if tomorrow there arose a kind of culture within society where attractive men who#really groomed themselves where praised to high heavens#whether women finally having standards for men or men casually valuing super handsome men#( without putting any ‘ugly’ men down for their looks)#a lot of men would subconsciously pick up on the new valored social status and want to peruse it#but they don’t have that culture that surround them AT all ( unlike with wome) so you don’t see men#with the bajillion complexes that women have - men have no incentive#they hardly ever get reminded that handsome men are valuable#the way women are valued by BOTH men and women for their beauty#tldr: both body positity or body neutrality are ineffective if you still give status into women who DO fit the standard#women and girls aren’t blind and will absolutely go for whatever gets them praised when if it’s harmful because the feedback/acceptance/#praise/money etc is WORTH it
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there's a lot of "setting bible" type lore for vesalblood that I kind of want to release somewhere, but don't want to run the risk of the entire thing coming off as a worldbuilding dump. the agony.
at some point, maybe the site will include the massive lists of like... "every single saint + their pygmalion's inherited aspect" and "notable divisions of the orbital crusades along with their mottos"
maybe I'll just have an actual setting material bible style release at some point that elaborates on political processes and government divisions of the nightmarish KHU mercantile republic council-board system too
#I haven't even found an opportunity to ramble about how the KHU technically has three seneschal board endorsed currencies#with one being tethered to the current standard of alloy steel#one being considered an investment in the trade of Callisto with its affiliated colonies#and the last being a stable-valued token that all taxes are paid in
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