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#it's about getting better and learning new things and truly growing as a person
xyurishux · 2 days
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CHAPTER 1 - AS A WHOLE, TOGETHER
Word Count: ~1.7k
Tags: GN!reader, Mentions of family disputes
Summary: You begin to tell Sebastian how deep UrbanShades rabbit hole truly goes, starting with yourself.
Pardon any writing errors, they may happen!
“ oh sweetie, you’re not ugly, society is,”
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“So,
When I was younger, life was as normal as can be. I was in mediocre family, it was me, my mom and my dad. I’d only see my mom in the morning, and when I was back from school my dad would be home for dinner. It wasn’t until way later I learned about his job, but that isn’t relevant right now. My dad was a mystery to me, he’s my dad but I didn’t know much to anything about him. I saw him everyday when I got home but it’s was for such a small period of time, did it even count?
Life was so mundane and repetitive. Go to school, pass tests, summer break then restart it all over again. Life was boring but it wasn’t difficult.
I would do anything to be back there…” You paused looking out into the ocean, it was dark you could mistake it for the above, only simply at night. You breathe out from your nose continuing on with your story.
 “Anyways, it was back in September of 2009 when my father got a promotion. Seeing his face 4 to 5 hours per day dwindled down to seeing him once every two weeks or so, usually on Sundays. He became an enigma.
“You see, something I couldn’t see at the time was that as I grew older, his need to be in my life lowered, and sadly, that same fate fell too with my mother by default.
His job already took a toll on their relationship. Only spending 4 to 5 hours with your partner every day over the span of five years isn’t so great.
My mother would see him as much as I did and now, he just wasn’t there. The signs of a falling relationship presented themselves beforehand, but now it was obvious to anyone that the only thing keeping them together was me. At least, for my mom that was the case.
“The house was more silent than it ever was empty…”
You looked to the side with your eyes to see Sebastians full attention on you, perhaps it was the story? Or maybe he didn’t have anything better to do or it might have been the way your voice spoke with full sincerity and no sarcasm. It was like someone else took control but it was undoubtedly you and he was fully enthralled.
Your eyes met and you looked back down at the cold tile as you carried on.
“Ether way, it was in November of that same year where things would shift. My mom would realize the steady money flowing in and at growing amounts. Now you have to understand that my mother isn’t of the suspicious type nor is she a person who comes up with wild conclusions. She was (and still is, I hope) a reasonable and sensible woman. She knew that this wasn’t a simple ‘promotion’, but to know where all this money came from, well…she didn’t have the slightest clue. She didn’t know and she would never know. Well, truly know…
“The first snow started to fall as December began and Winter break freed me from my studying. Shockingly, dad came home for the holidays and New Years. Funny anecdote, I remember getting my first iPhone as a gift from him that year. It was an iPhone 3GS, God the memories…my mother was not pleased in slightest.” You laughed silent tilting your head to the side as your reminisced, it was good and loyal phone…
 “Continuing on, after Christmas as a family and with the family the next day, my parents had the only disagreement I’ve ever witnessed (only a disagreement, it wasn’t enough to count as a fight).
I think it was about 2 am and the only light that was on was the one above the kitchen table. My dad was sitting facing my mother who standing up, the last of the family who came over for the party had finally left. Chip bowls and wine glasses were still scattered on the coffee table, only barely visible by the outside Christmas lights. I watched as my mom tapped her nails against the wooden chair she was partly leaning on as she took a deep breath. I could tell she was tired, exhausted even but I could also tell she had something bugging her and she needed to let it out. I watched them from the darkness that the staircase provided, I was undetectable. I listened to them talk, leaning my upper body to the wooden railing trying not to miss a single word. I don’t remember much; it was about the money at first but it was nothing compared to what my mother said next.”
“Samantha, look- “
“I’m breaking up with you”
“My mother broke up with my father. I sat upon the steps dumbfounded, I didn’t expect that from their conversation but even then, I didn’t know what to expect. The last of the conversation consisted of my father staying silent and staring at the table as my mom talked important matters to him. She told him that she would stay for the New Years and then move in with a friend in an apartment she found. After that she finished the glass of wine my dad poured for her at the start and left the kitchen when he didn’t have anything to add.
I’m pretty sure that night was the only time I saw my dad cry. He was still in love with her, never ever once thinking of ending their relationship. Never ever once thinking of loving another woman.
 Most children would walk down the stairs they sat on and go comfort their weeping father or at least ask if he was okay. But our relationship was so estranged to the point where I felt no reason to go down and comfort him. He simply was just my father, nothing else nothing more.
I watched him cry silently with his head in his hand as I sat on the steps with my legs close to my chest. I sat there for a few more minutes. I don’t know why I sat there watching for so long. Maybe I was intrigued with the sight, it was something new. A man I’ve know all my life was a mystery to me and now the last sight I might ever see of him is him crying his heart out. But soon enough I got tired, I walked back up to my bedroom and fell asleep to noise of the on going shower my mom was taking downstairs.
The next morning felt cold and unbalanced. The floor was cold to the touch and it was actually closer to noon then morning. The hall was silent as I walked down it and saw at the end of it that my mom was packing a suitcase and a large duffle bag. They were both placed on the bed with an equal amount of folded and unfolded clothes thrown around the two. It was enough to be unable to see the white and blue floral comforter underneath (or I remember it to be enough). I walked into the room and as if I didn’t witness the scene at the kitchen table last night I asked, “Are we going somewhere?”
She was so concentrated with her packing that she jumped startled when she heard my voice. With her hand over her heart, she turned to me with a forced smile (I knew that it was) and spoke words that I will never forget.”
“What were they?” Sebastian asked quietly, his full upper body now laying against the desk where you two sorted files on together almost an hour ago.
You smiled, “Well,
“Sweetheart! You scared me there,” She said, her smile faltering, “No, mommy is going somewhere, alone, but not forever. You’ll have to stay with dad for awhile.” She turned her head away as she folded a few pants and placed them into her suitcase. Then she squatted, and I had to look down to see her face. Her eyes were bloodshot and her lashes wet. I felt her hands on my upper arms as she continued to talk, “Mommy, mommy needs to go find herself for a bit, okay? Not for long but mommy needs this…I love you, eternally and always”
She left the same day with kiss on the forehead, her phone number seared into my mind and a “Be good while I’m gone, I’m a single phone call away”
And then I was there, at my door step, cold and watching as my mom entered her friend’s car with one last kiss blown to me. I caught it and placed it onto my cheek as she drove off. Now it was me and my estranged father and a lot of complex emotions I didn’t know how to decipher or begin to understand at the age of ten.”
You finished, pausing to take a breath for a second while also stretching your aching muscles.
“And then what? What does this have to do with us? With me?” Sebastian asked harshly as he raised himself from the desk.
“Give me a second, I need water and a snack, I’m a bit peckish,” you joked, smirking to him, before continuing, “Ether way, we’re barely getting into the meat of the story. I was just explaining how I got stuck with my father. Now will be getting into what he was doing
behind closed doors…”
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And we start rolling, ~
@splatting-stampede
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red-high-tops · 2 years
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marimoscorner · 5 months
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Consumerism & Witchcraft
Written by Marimo (he/they)🌿
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I’ve seen a turn for the better in some witchy spaces regarding consumerism in the past few years, but overall it still tends to be an issue for us as a community. I’ve decided to try and breakdown the pitfalls I’ve noticed in my own journey, in the hopes that it will inspire and assist others. I’ve also provided alternatives and ideas on how to make small changes in our practice to help us better protect the Earth, stick it to the failing system and still acquire our bits and bobs we love so dearly.
As always, I am no authority on any subject nor am I perfect—but we’re all learning as we go, so let’s dive right in 🌿
A Preface
There are some things that should be made entirely clear before we begin:
You are not a bad person for wanting an aesthetic
You are not a bad person for unknowingly falling into pitfalls. Only if you continue to purposefully do so after knowing better
You are not a bad person for consuming content/objects or for not always making the most sustainable decisions. At the end of the day, we can only control our small part of environmental impact, while the rest is left up to the major corporations that make more pollution than any of us ever will
You are only human. Show yourself some grace and understanding that the internet so lacks.
My Experience in Consumerist Hell
I have fallen victim many times to consumerism in witchcraft. Starting my journey at the ripe age of about ten years old and heavily in the broom closet, I was quickly drawn in by the shiny rocks, the brand new candles and scents, the promise of new tarot decks and pendulums and other fancy, shiny new equipment. I was consuming an online aesthetic along with my ideals, and it distracted me from starting my journey by learning well.
I began to spend my birthday and holiday money on the aesthetic of things. While, granted, I still did buy a few literary resources now and again from my local secondhand bookstore—I was stubbornly ignoring the sage advice to learn and understand first before diving in headfirst.
I purchased statues, crystals, too many tarot decks to use. I purchased osteomancy bones I later returned to the earth, for I had not done enough research to know that that animal was mine to practice with. I had a tankard full of incense sticks, and even a growing pile of books that would not be read. While I liked to consider myself crafty with my homemade Maypole and various hand-bound Grimoires, something was becoming apparent: this was all a distraction.
The aesthetic I was partaking in was providing me with a false sense of progress and practicality.
When I’d go to do a tarot reading, I’d become far too overwhelmed with choosing a deck to read in the first place. When making an offering to a deity, I’d feel pressured to also bolster the altars of all the other deities I’d set up, and with my wide pool, the connections felt muddy. Often times I’d be off-put on a project or spell because I knew I needed to film it and it needed to look nice.
In the long term, I don’t have many of these items today. I’ve sold and donated a vast breadth of them. Feeling overwhelmed costed me a few years retreat from my craft to recuperate. However, what has stuck with me is the knowledge I picked up along the way.
So, What’s the Issue? TL;DR
I’ve noticed a few issues here in making these mistakes myself.
Consumerism absolutely distracts you from learning and your craft
Overconsumption leads to environmental damage. If everyone hoarded supplies, there would not be enough to go around. And with what gets thrown away every year…it paints an ugly wound on the Earth
We damage our learning abilities by not allowing ourselves to be anything less than perfect
The need for aesthetic creates barriers to entry within the community and creates a divide of haves and have-nots
You won’t be able to truly follow your individual path if you are only consuming and not creating for yourself
Consumerist culture promotes appropriation. Metaphysical stores carry items from closed practices (such as white sage and palo santo, or coyote bones) because someone is buying them. Don’t be that person, and find alternatives relating to your own culture instead
Consumerism can influence your spiritual decisions based upon monetary inclinations (where some may sacrifice a quality ingredient over a higher quantity of a lower quality ingredient)
So, what can we do?
Firstly, I want to clarify that I am not against collecting, nor am I against maximalism or the beautiful visual aesthetic we carry as a community.
I am an artist a very visual person and understand the longing for a beautiful home and workspace. However, this aesthetic shouldn’t come at the cost of irresponsibly harming the Earth or another community.
Thus, I’ve compiled a list of small things that I will be incorporating into my practice to make it more mindful and sustainable. I hope that you’ll join me in a few of them.
Minimize Supplies. While I used to have a huge selection of stationary for my Grimoire, I now limit myself to a simple pencil and watercolor set if I’m feeling artistic. This helps me actually use my Grimoire for study, rather than to keep perfect. It’s also friendlier on my wallet!
Thrift Supplies. There are plenty of perfectly good items that get donated daily. You can get high-quality candles and holders, old crystal bowls for altar offerings, spare crafting supplies, fabric for alter cloths and even clothing if you so wish—all for a fraction of the cost new and while saving the planet just a little bit more. Hell, you can sometimes even find good silver!
Share Supplies with your Community. You can create a sort of barter system with other witches in your area. Perhaps you create a sigil for them, and they provide you with a candle spell. Play to your strengths and grow together!
Look for Creative Outlets. Do you really need to go buy an altar statue that’s been mass-produced? Or can you give your deity the personal gift of a drawing, painting or even hand-modeled or hand-carved rendition? This will also deepen your connection to your craft and your magic, and make it more meaningful and stronger. If you really like something, though, go for it!
If you aren’t the artistic sort, consider supporting an artist before going to a large company. While I haven’t purchased from them myself, Blagowood on Etsy has beautiful deity statues carved from wood by their small team in Ukraine for a comparable cost to the standard mass produced metal statues. I consider this extra labor of love going into these pieces and those of similar small companies to be much better energy for my practice. I myself may put out some art prints and other handmade supplies in the future, but I will likely spread them around my community first.
Try Secondhand Books. While not available in every area and further still not as available for witchcraft and occult books, you may strike luck! Not only are secondhand books less expensive, but you’ll be supporting a local business. That’s not to say you can’t buy firsthand books, but some searching around may be beneficial to the earth and to your wallet in the long run.
Be mindful of where you source supplies and decor. If you are a fan of taxidermy decor, make sure that you source cruelty free. Bats can practically never be sourced without cruelty, so if a shop carries them, I’d be mindful of their other specimens. The same goes for if a shop decides to forgo a culture’s wishes and carry supplies sacred to them, such as white sage or dreamcatchers. Supporting folks who turn a profit off of others’ suffering is not something many would wish to include energetically in their craft.
Search the Wild for Tools. Find sticks, flowers and other plants out in the forest. Learn how to rockhound in your area for crystals. Your craft will be more powerful the more connected it is to the land you are surrounded by. Be sure to reference guides for safety and legality!
Get Creative with Purposes. If you are having difficulty finding exactly what you need by thrifting or searching, make another tool multipurpose if it would do the job good enough. Find supplies that are easy to source and work as substitutes for other ingredients (ex. Quartz as a stand in for other stones)
Spend more time Doing. Go out into the woods (safely) and advance your connection to the earth instead of worrying over the perfect item for your collection. Your craft will benefit
At the end of the day, all of this is your decision. Take what you like, and leave what you don’t. Even if we don’t agree, I thank you for your time and open mind. I will continue updating about how I incorporate these steps, and I will also hopefully post more on witchy crafting in the future.
I wish you well, and hope you’ll decide to follow along on our journey!
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artsekey · 9 months
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Disney's Wish
Look, Disney's Wish has been universally panned across the internet, and for good reason.
It’s just…kind of okay.
 When we sit down to watch a Disney film—you know, from the company that dominated the animation industry from 1989 to (arguably) the mid 2010’s and defined the medium of animation for decades—we expect something magnificent. Now, I could sit here and tell you everything that I thought was wrong with Wish, but if you’re reading this review, then I imagine that you’ve already heard the most popular gripes from other users across the web. So, let me focus in:
The biggest problem with Wish—in fact, the only problem with Wish—is Magnifico.
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Whoa, that’s crazy! There’re so many things about Wish that could’ve been better! The original concept was stronger! The music was bad--
I hear you, I do. But stay with me here, okay? Take my hand. I studied under artists from the Disney renaissance. I teach an adapted model of Disney’s story pipeline at a University level. I spent a ridiculous amount of time getting degrees in this, and I am about to dissect this character and the narrative to a stupid degree.
First, we need to understand that a good story doesn’t start and end with what we see on the screen. Characters aren’t just fictional people; when used well, characters are tools the author uses (or in this case, the director) to convey their message to the audience. Each character’s struggle should in some way engage with the story’s message, and consequently, the story’s theme. Similarly, when we look at our protagonist and our antagonist, we should see their characters and their journeys reflected in one-another.
So, what went wrong between Asha & Magnifico in terms of narrative structure?
Act I
In Wish, we’re introduced to our hero not long into the runtime—Asha. She’s ambitious, caring, and community-oriented; in fact, Asha is truly introduced to the audience through her love of Rosas (in “Welcome to Rosas”).  She’s surrounded by a colorful cast of friends who act as servants in the palace, furthering her connection with the idea of community but also telling us that she’s not of status, and then she makes her way to meet Magnifico for her chance to become his next apprentice.
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Quick aside: I'm not going to harp on Asha as a character in the context of Disney's overall canon. Almost every review I've seen covers her as a new addition to Disney's ever-growing repertoire of "Cute Quirky Heroines", and I think to be fair to Asha as an actor in the narrative, it serves her best to be weighed within the context of the story she's part of.
As Asha heads upstairs for her interview, we're introduced to the man of the hour: Magnifico. He lives in a tower high above the population of Rosas, immediately showing us how he differs from Asha; he’s disconnected from his community. He lives above them. He has status. While the broader context of the narrative wants us to believe that this also represents a sense of superiority, I would argue that isn’t what Magnifico’s introduction conveys; he's isolated.
Despite this distance, he does connect with Asha in “At All Costs”. For a moment, their goals and values align. In fact, they align so well that Magnifico sees Asha as someone who cares as much about Rosas as he does, and almost offers her the position.
… Until she asks him to grant Saba’s wish.
This is framed by the narrative as a misstep. The resonance between their ideals snaps immediately, and Magnifico says something along the line of “Wow. Most people wait at least a year before asking for something.”
This disappointment isn't played as coming from a place of power or superiority. He was excited by the idea of working with someone who had the same values as he did, who viewed Rosas in the same way he does, and then learns that Asha’s motivations at least partially stem from a place of personal gain.
Well, wait, is that really Asha's goal?
While it's not wholistically her goal, it's very explicitly stated & implied that getting Saba's wish granted is at least a part of it. The audience learns (through Asha's conversation with her friends before the interview) that every apprentice Magnifico has ever had gets not only their wish granted, but the wishes of their family, too!  Asha doesn’t deny that this is a perk that she’s interested in, and I don't think this is a bad thing.
So, Is Asha’s commitment to Saba selfless, or selfish? I’m sure the director wanted it to seem selfless, wherein she believes her family member has waited long enough and deserves his wish granted, but we can’t ignore the broader context of Asha essentially trying to… skip the line.
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Then, we get our first point of tension. Magnifico reveals his “true colors” in snapping at Asha, telling her that he “decides what people deserve”. This is supposed to be the great motivator, it’s meant to incite anger in the audience—after all, no one gets to decide what you deserve, right? But unfortunately for the integrity of the film and the audience's suspension of disbelief, at least part of Magnifico’s argument is a little too sound to ignore:
Some wishes are too vague and dangerous to grant. Now, there’s visual irony here; he says this after looking at a 100 old man playing the lute. The idea that something so innocuous could be dangerous is absurd, and the audience is meant to agree.
... But we’ve also seen plenty of other wishes that might be chaotic—flying on a rocket to space, anyone? The use of the word vague is important, too—this implies wording matters, and that a wish can be misinterpreted or evolve into something that is dangerous even if the original intent was innocuous. His reasoning for people forgetting their wish (protecting them from the sadness of being unable to attain their dreams) is much weaker, but still justifiable (in the way an antagonist’s flawed views can be justified). The film even introduces a facet of Magnifico’s backstory that implies he has personal experience with the grief of losing a dream (in the destruction of his home), but that thread is never touched on again.
              What is the audience supposed to take from this encounter? If we’re looking at the director’s intent, I’d argue that we’ve been introduced to a well-meaning young girl and a king who’s locked away everyone’s greatest aspiration because he believes he deserves to have the power to decide who gets to be happy.
              But what are we shown? Our heroine, backed by her friends, strives to be Magnifico’s apprentice because she loves the city but also would really like to see her family's wishes granted. When this request is denied and she loses the opportunity to be his apprentice, she deems Magnifico’s judgement unfair & thus begins her journey to free the dreams of Rosas’ people.
              In fairness, Magnifico doesn’t exhibit sound judgement or kindness through this act of the film. He’s shown to be fickle, and once his composure cracks, he can be vindictive and sharp. He's not a good guy, but I'd argue he's not outright evil. He's just got the makings of a good villain, and those spikes of volatility do give us a foundation to work off of as he spirals, but as we’ll discuss in a bit, the foreshadowing established here isn’t used to the ends it implies.
              While I was watching this film, I was sure Magnifico was going to be a redeemable villain. He can’t connect with people because he's sure they value what he provides more than they value him (as seen in “At All Costs” and the aftermath), and Asha’s asking for more was going to be framed as a mistake. His flaw was keeping his people too safe and never giving them the chance to sink or swim, and he's too far removed from his citizens to see that he is appreciated. Asha does identify this, and the culmination of her journey is giving people the right to choose their path, but the way Magnifico becomes the “true” villain and his motivations for doing so are strangely divorced from what we’re shown in Act I.  
Act II:
His song, “This is the Thanks I Get!?” furthers the idea that Magnifico’s ire—and tipping point—is the fact that he thinks the people he’s built a kingdom for still want more. Over the course of this 3:14 song, we suddenly learn that Magnifico sends other people to help his community and doesn’t personally get involved (we never see this outside of this song), and that he’s incredibly vain/narcissistic (he's definitely a narcissist). I think feeling under-appreciated is actually a very strong motivation for Magnifico as a character-turning-villain, and it works very well. It’s justified based on what we’ve seen on screen so far: he feels under-appreciated (even though he’s decidedly not—the town adores him), he snaps and acts irrationally under stress (as seen with his outburst with Asha), and he’s frustrated that people seem to want more from him (again, as seen with his conversation with Asha in Act I).
              But then… he opens the book.
Ah, the book. As an object on screen, we know that it's filled with ancient and evil magic, well-known to be cursed by every relevant character in the film, and kept well-secured under lock and key. But what does it stand for in the context of the narrative's structure? A quick path to power? We're never told that it has any redeeming qualities; Magnifico himself doesn't seem to know what he's looking for when he opens it. It feels... convenient.
I think it's also worth noting that he only turns to the book when he's alone; once again, the idea of connection and community rears it's ugly head! Earlier in the film, Amaya-- his wife-- is present and turns him away from taking that path. In her absence, he makes the wrong choice.
This decision could make sense; it contains powerful magic, and if it were framed in such a way that the people of Rosas were losing faith in Magnifico’s magic, as if what he can do might not be enough anymore after what they felt from Star, going for the book that we know contains spells that go above and beyond what he can already do would be logical. Along the lines of, “If they’re not happy with what I do for them, fine. I, ever the “martyr”, will do the unthinkable for you, because you want more.”
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            It would keeps with the idea that Magnifico believes he's still trying to help people, but his motivation has taken his self-imposed pity party and turned it into resentment and spite.
 But, that’s not the case. Instead he talks about reversing that “light”, which has had no real negative or tangible consequences on Rosas. Everyone had a warm feeling for a few seconds. Again, it’s meant to paint him as a vain control freak, but… he hasn’t lost any power. The citizens of Rosas even assume the great showing of magic was Magnifico.
Act III
              Then, we get to the consequences of opening the book (and perhaps my biggest qualm with this film). The book is established as being cursed. Magnifico knows it, Asha knows it, and Amaya—who is introduced as loyal-- knows it. The characters understand his behavior is a direct result of the book, and search for a way to save him. This is only the focus of the film for a few seconds, but if you think about it, the fact that his own wife cannot find a way to free him of the curse he’s been put under is unbelievably tragic. Worse still, upon discovering there is no way to reverse the curse, Magnifico—the king who built the city & “protected it” in his own flawed way for what seems to be centuries—is thrown out by his wife. You know, the wife who's stood loyal at his side for years?
              It’s played for laughs, but there’s something unsettling about a character who’s clearly and explicitly under the influence of a malevolent entity being left… unsaved. If you follow the idea of Magnifico being disconnected from community being a driving force behind his arc, the end of the film sees him in a worse situation he was in at the start: truly, fully alone.
              They bring in so many opportunities for Magnifico to be sympathetic and act as a foil for Asha; he’s jaded, she’s not. He’s overly cautious (even paranoid), she’s a risk-taker. He turns to power/magic at his lowest point, Asha turns to her friends at her lowest point. Because this dichotomy isn’t present, and Magnifico—who should be redeemable—isn’t, the film is so much weaker than it could’ve been. The lack of a strong core dynamic between the protagonist and antagonist echoes through every facet of the film from the music to the characterization to the pacing, and I believe if Magnifico had been more consistent, the film would’ve greatly improved across the board.
I mean, come on! Imagine if at the end of the film, Asha—who, if you remember, did resonate with Magnifico’s values at the start of the film—recognizes that he's twisted his original ideals and urges him to see the value in the people he’s helped, in their ingenuity, in their gratitude, & that what he was able to do before was enough. Going further, asking what his wish is or was—likely something he’s never been asked— and showing empathy! We’d come full circle to the start of the film where Asha asks him to grant her wish.
Pushing that further, if Magnifico’s wish is to see Rosas flourish or to be a good/beloved king, he'd have the the opportunity to see the value in failing and how pursuing the dream is its own complex and valuable journey, and how not even he is perfect.
 The curse and the book (which, for the purposes of this adjustment, would need to be established as representing the idea of stepping on others to further your own goals/the fast way to success), then serve as the final antagonist, that same curse taking root in the people of Rosas who’ve had their dreams destroyed, and Asha works with the community to quell it. Asha’s learned her lesson, so has Magnifico, and the true source of evil in the film—the book—is handled independently. Magnifico steps back from his role as King, Amaya still ends up as Queen, and Asha takes her place as the new wish-granter.
This route could even give us the true “Disney villain” everyone’s craving; giving the book sentience and having it lure Magnifico in during “This is the Thanks I Get!?” leaves it as its own chaotic evil entity.
All in all, Magnifico's introduction paved a road to redemption that the rest of the film aggressively refused to deliver on, instead doubling down on weaker motivations that seem to appear out of thin air. Once the audience thinks, hey, that bad guy might have a point, the protagonist has to do a little more heavy lifting to convince us they're wrong.
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Look at the big-bad-greats from Disney's library. There isn't a point in the Lion King where we pause and think, "Wait a second, maybe Scar should be the guy who rules the Pridelands." Ursula from the Little Mermaid, though motivated by her banishment from King Triton's Seas, never seems to be the right gal for the throne. Maybe Maleficent doesn't get invited to the princess's birthday party, but we don't watch her curse a baby and think, Yeah, go curse that baby, that's a reasonable response to getting left out.
What do they all have in common? Their motivation is simple, their goal is clear, and they don't care who they hurt in pursuit of what they want.
Magnifico simply doesn't fall into that category. He's motivated by the idea of losing power, which is never a clear or impactful threat. His goal at the start seems to be to protect Rosas, then it turns into protecting his own power, and then-- once he's corrupted-- he wants to capture Star. The problem is, there's no objective to put this power toward. Power for power's sake is useless. Scar craves power because he feels robbed of status. Ursula believes the throne is rightfully hers. Maleficent wanted to make a statement. Magnifico... well, I'm not really sure.
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punkpandapatrixk · 3 months
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🧝🏻‍♀️Mystical Glow-Up Secrets ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card
Your mystical glow-up is literally divinely ordained, no cap HAHAH I’ve got this vibe from the deck-bottom but let me start with this quote:
'A Humanity that thinks materialistically will produce frightful beings in the future, and a Humanity that thinks spiritual thoughts, will work upon and transform the future organism so that beautiful Human bodies will proceed from it.' – Rudolf Steiner
Oh, gosh.
We are in an era of spiritual consciousness. This is an era where we learn to reflect outwardly what it means to be a 5D-Consciousness Being. Living in a 5D consciousness, people naturally feel lighter, freer, younger, prettier, healthier, more fit, more stress-free, more energetic; all because people's whole vibrations are 'triggered' by a more spiritual ae-nergy.
ae is known as chi or prana or orgone in other languages; by synchronizing with your ae, ever so organically your body learns to derive vital energy from a purer source of consciousness—a high vibration of aetheric authenticity—that reflects in the physical world as a glow-up of the highest divine order~♥︎
As your Mind comes into alignment with the ae of your Spirit, so your Body becomes attuned to that Order. The significance of ae will only grow as more people come into a spiritual kind of liberation from the chains of insecurity propagated by the monsters in the media and politics.
No matter what the propaganda of the moment may say and try to do, you could always be the conscious individual that distils information and derives from this process only the essence of what is good for you on a personal level. If you’re happy, satisfied, confident and proud with your intelligent conscious choices, that spark of contentment is what truly makes a person glow from the inside out~★
education: Body Care and Grooming (1948)
technomagy: Facial Symmetry with Muscle Toning (Energetic Programmed Audio) by Sapien Medicine
deck-bottom: XX Judgement Rx, Silver Historian (Polydore Vergil), Priestess of Beauty
[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 3]
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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 1 – As You Mend Your Heart, Babe, All of You Gets Beautiful Again
assistance: what is coming is 100000x better than what is gone by doyouflow
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what’s been taken from you? – 9 of Wands
Although this is a 9 of Wands card, I see that the entirety of your Pile is water-based. You’re someone whose heart is very pure and kind, and you’ve sacrificed a lot of yourself for being there for others. I’m hearing: ‘for a pessimist I was pretty optimistic, and I got nothing—NOTHING—but betrayal and abandonment, and I am exhausted.’ Being charitable around the wrong fucker can surely drain our spiritual aenergy!
You’ve been through multiple cycles of ‘exhausting’ friendships with people who couldn’t appreciate you for the delicate human that you are. They only saw you as this fiery, strong, charismatic capable individual who always managed to whip up a positive attitude in any circumstances. It never occurred to them—not that they’d care to wonder anyway—that maybe this time around you’re the one needing a hug.
Nobody cared; and even the ones who pretended to care, only wanted to know what your gloominess was all about. And they went on to talk shit behind your back and had a good laugh about it. ‘MU HA HA HA, turns out Y/N ain’t even that shit! Y/N is pretty pathetic/loser/crazy BU HA HA HA HA!!!’ Funny thing is, you always knew about their shit one way or another and the whole revelation broke your heart to pieces. Multiple times with different people… tsk tsk…
recalling fragments of your beauty – 9 of Cups
Well, now, I can see you’ve lost a lot of these ‘friends’ and worked on yourself to create new neural pathways towards a truer sense of spiritual abundance. I’m sure right now your Life is pretty OK in areas like finance and material security; your job or creative project is going swimmingly; you have a pretty good work-life balance; and for the most part you’re really enjoying the peacefulness of your solitary Life.
But if there’s one thing, I think you haven’t had a really good conversation with someone interesting in a pretty long time. I see that your eyes have not twinkled from being complimented by someone genuinely kind in a really long while. You’ve lost a lot of your affection for people and you’ve lost faith in being energetic and social. People always disappoint in the end because their hearts are ugly and they’re mean to each other. This deep-seated belief has caused your eyes to look dead and droopy.
Have you perhaps noticed that you’ve developed a set of sanpaku eyes? The minimalistic science behind it states that people could develop sanpaku eyes after going through a lot—like a FUCKTON—of heartache and disappointments. I think your case could be dealing with some kind of a ‘betrayal trauma’ or some variety of ‘injustice trauma’. Look ‘em up, babe~ ♥︎
sealing the deal with the Divine Feminine – Knight of Cups
If some years have passed now since the last time you were around your fake friends, or even frenemies, I want you to know that your beauty has not been lost to time or ageing. Nope. Not at all. That’s bullshit. I can see that you’re the type of person who ages very UNNATURALLY. If your natal chart has a lot of Water aenergies or you have strong placements in Water Houses, you’re defo the type of bitch that can TRANSFORM your physical appearance by sheer mood ;D At this point, you can’t even age coz that skin barrier is strong AF LMAO
THAT’S WHY! Your true mystical glow-up secret lies in your mending your pretty Heart~ You’ve never had an ugly Heart, obviously, and still now it’s not ugly or anything; but it’s the way you think about how deserving you are of a friendship or relationship that honours your complex sensitivity that needs to be acknowledged and RECLAIMED. Doesn’t matter how, doesn’t matter when or who’s coming next, I just want you to know that if this reading has popped in to your Life… Your Soulmates are coming to get you, bitch. Pack up and play in the sea! XD
The good times that you’re going to be having with your Soulmates, Soul Tribes, Soul Fam—however you may resonate—are going to refill the stars in your Heart, automatically reflected in your eyes~ ★_★v Hahah I promise you that you’re going to reunite with Souls who are very, very old friends with you. You’re going to live a very happy, passionate Life doing things you like with people you Love… How the hell do you think that’s not gonna heal all of you and make everything about you beautiful again?😉
Originally, you’re a beautiful bitch. And if you’ve also got some Capricorn/Saturn/10th House placements, it’s very likely you’re ageing backwards! What the hell even is that?? \`★_★`/
GODDESS OF BEAUTY🔻💙
beauty on the inside – Green Physician (Paracelsus)
beauty on the outside – Priestess of Inspiration
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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 2 – It’s the Passion in Your Heart That Reflects Outwardly Your True Inner Beauty
assistance: I TRUST things aren’t falling apart they are FALLING INTO PLACE by doyouflow
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~wah, girl, you really gotta check out the bonus content for this one XP~
what’s been taken from you? – 5 of Cups Rx
Out of all the Piles, you’re the baddest bitch of them all, do you realise that? You’ve got the most unhinged aenergy about you XD You’re a psycho, you know that? You’re generally thought of as either unpredictable or uncontrollable, but you could also be both, unprovoked LMAO People think you’re a problem child, because you’re so gutsy. I’m literally not getting ANYTHING about what’s been taken from you ^_^; Are you sure you still need this PAC? XD
First of all, you literally exist in your own dimension. That’s why people can’t control you. They can’t tame you. You’re a weirdo, a maniac even, who does things your way, plans things according to your vision, and yours alone, for the most part. People think you’re rather selfish but it’s because you’re a girl, right? If you were a man they’d say you’re DRIVEN. And yes! DRIVE that Bentley, bitch! No, DRIVE that Tesla into OUTER SPACE, bitch! You don’t appreciate people telling you what you CAN’T do!
And you don’t like it when people gaslight you about your confidence just because they’re a little bitch. You love being a Supreme Bitch—you’re a girl on a mission; ain’t nobody got the aenergy to listen to nobody’s guilt-tripping. And in that sense, your spirit and psychology have never really been hit by society. Society has never been able to take away anything from you ♡
recalling fragments of your beauty – XIV Temperance Rx
I see that your Beauty has stayed intact for the majority of your Life. It’s not like you’d resonate with having lost fragments of your beauty to years of depression, malnutrition or anything of the sort? Your mindset has remained strong for the majority of your adult Life. You have a strong mentality and this is reflected well in your physical body. A glow-up is easy, as long as you want it. And for the most part, your glow-up is tightly bound to your sense of purpose.
You’ve always known you’re meant for great things. And from a very young age you already worked on your mentality. You REFUSED to be normal, you refused mediocrity. It wasn’t a walk in the park until you reached your conviction though. Your childhood was rather constrictive, either due to societal expectations…or familial expectations. The adults around you thought you didn’t notice but you saw all of these fences put around you, and they pissed you off. Even your peers couldn’t understand what you wanted to make out of yourself.
So you rebelled from a very young age. You were, yes, THEE problem child, only because the small-minded people around you were a problem to your goals! Such hindrance. And now you’re glowing up and grabbing all the money bags and they jealous? Are you even fucking kidding my butt? Your path towards a total glow-up of your mindset and real life was not always perfect, but what’s perfection? All of the struggles play into creating your lore👑
sealing the deal with the Divine Feminine – 2 of Cups
If you’ve never heard anybody tell you this, allow me to be the first. Your drive, your determination, your ambition and motivation, although these qualities may make you appear like a selfish bitch on the outside, I, ME, MYSELF, understand that you want these things not only for yourself. There are people in this world you want to protect and provide for. Maybe it’s your mother who was abused or left by her deadbeat husband, idk. Maybe it’s a sibling or a pet you want to give the best Life for, idk.
Maybe, you want to achieve success and fame and be seen by the world, because you want to save the world from the malady of its own crazy, idk~ You want to be an example, a healing presence, a voice of reason, a voice for the voiceless, idk? You may look a certain bitchy, scary way on the outside, but your heart is good; it’s PURE GOLD. You live for the betterment of someone else and if that’s not LOVE, what is?
What most people don’t understand about you is how your sparkle of beauty literally comes from this desire to protect and provide for someone other than yourself. You have a lot of Love in your heart, even if you don’t always admit it to yourself. Your entire Life, your glow-up has come from your being DRIVEN. Vroom vroom, MOTHERFUCKER .・°☆~ You leave a trail of stardust for your aenemies ♥︎
GODDESS OF BEAUTY🔻💛
beauty on the inside – Green Alchemist (Nicolas Flamel)
beauty on the outside – Priestess of Patience
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 3 – When Your Existence is Useful to the Healing of Others, Their Love/Gratitude Nurtures You Back to Health
assistance: you get to be universes favorite by doyouflow
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what’s been taken from you? – Page of Cups Rx
See, it’s crazy that literally a few mins before starting on you, Pile 3, I came across a quote that says this:
‘Some of us are such advanced Souls that we did not come here to be supported, but we came to be the support system for many. If you’ve had a challenging Life and feel you never had proper support or Love, that is because YOU are the Love and Support.’
Well, my heart broke, but…hey, there’s clarity and validation there😊
All of these cards are in reverse, telling me there’s a lot that’s been taken from you. Your heart, compassion, resources, money, hobby items, OMG, the list is endless! So much has been taken away from you. Either by people borrowing stuff without remembering to return or people getting a favour without returning it to you. At least, even when it seemed like they did return some favour to you…the return was either lacklustre or just…it didn’t feel right?
You’ve felt gaslit too much your entire Life. An incessant feeling of being unseen, unappreciated, unloved, could’ve eaten away at your self-worth. You’ve often been the miracle in someone else’s Life, but when it comes to you needing a transformation in your Life, where’s MY miracle…? I think you could have Chiron in 12th House or Pisces? That kind of placement is one where an individual constantly feels like they’ve been forsaken by God, or the positive forces of the Universe…
recalling fragments of your beauty – 3 of Pentacles Rx
The truth of the matter is, you’ve not been forsaken by your Spirit Guides. See, this message is gonna be especially resonant for you who do have Chiron or Saturn in the 8th or 12th House—that the Universe, your Higher Self and Spirit Guides have given you so little guidance and support, because you’re meant to learn how it feels like to be in the shoes of Humans. See, it’s not to say these Humans do not have support—babe, they CAN’T access the support because they’re BLIND and DEAF AS FUCK.
Humans are so embarrassingly divorced from their own intuition. Even the most religious folks are blind and deaf to actual angelic whispers. In many cases, because their false religions have taught them to worship wrongly and be obedient to evil authority and not question any injustice and wrongdoings. The more blindly religious a person is, the more separated they are from their own Humanity, because now their ears are deaf to empathy.
You came into this world to understand the twists and turns of how it feels like to navigate this crazy Matrix with so little guidance, so that one day, when you’re propelled into your main mission, you can remind and even teach people how to re-connect with Love—the true source of all compassion and Divinity in Human Form. When you remind people of their Humanity, you regain, and grow exponentially in Beauty ♥︎
sealing the deal with the Divine Feminine – 6 of Pentacles Rx
So, as you can see, you have a very important spiritual mission in this incarnation. I do not give a goddamn dime what you think you look like; whether or not you‘re conventionally attractive; whether or not you fit some bullshit beauty standards; YOU ARE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL when you’re seen sharing your healing gifts with the world! You do remember that a lot of historians say Cleopatra wasn’t perceived as necessarily that conventionally beautiful by most people, right? But that everybody was charmed by her intelligence and charisma when talking about politics?
Yeah, you give me that vibe, bitch <3 That the essence of what you do to alleviate sorrow in the world, when seen by others, when people listen to what you say, when what you do or write changes people’s lives for the better, when people feel motivated by your sheer aenergy to improve themselves—it’s that kinda shit what will help you regain your natural beauty, or manifest a glow-up ☆
When you engage in your Life’s main mission, it’s people’s Love for what you do and the Gratitude they feel for what it’s done in their lives what will aenergetically nurture you back to health. In a nutshell, people’s appreciation for your Life’s Work IS your support system in this world—later on in Life maybe if you haven’t started. It is your Purpose to be useful to the healing of others~ You’re defo gonna have an audience \^_^v Namaste, bitches~★ I honour all that you’ve been through and all that you’re going to do for this world~ You’re so LOVED!!! <3
GODDESS OF BEAUTY🔻🧡
beauty on the inside – Gold Historian (Raphael Holinshed)
beauty on the outside – Priestess of Love
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 3]
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neptuneschldd · 1 year
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Difficult Placements in the Natal Chart.❤️‍🩹🖤
small disclaimer; none of these placements listed are depicted as bad or evil placements, these are areas in a chart that require more attention to and tell more about a much more darker/struggling side about the individual.
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Sun in 8H/6H/12H. These individuals may take on the heavier parts of life rather than having things come easy to them. These individuals have a possibility of having a distorted self-image, they may not even know exactly who they are and may bc hidden from the spotlight. These individuals are resilient and often work hard in secret, they’re the type that don’t trust anyone and sometimes not even themselves, they can be critical on themselves. Additionally these individuals may have a struggling or complex relationship with father/make figures.
However in maturer years they learn to go with the flow of things, and find peace even in difficult moments.
Along with this, mainly any personal placements within the 8H/12H. These individuals at a young age are shown to the tougher sides of lives, they experience a lot and hold lots of knowledge even at young ages about various things from their own personal experiences. They have a heightened awareness and deeper understanding of the things around them. Wise yet unheard, often very misunderstood individuals. They benefit from expressing their emotions verbally or even through art or their desired professions.
Lilith at 18°. These individuals suppress their shadow side and several traits that make them, them. These individuals are strong beings yet are often underestimated by others because of how much they suppress themselves. These individuals should work more on their inner beings (ie. shadow work) to appreciate the different sides of themselves.
Jupiter 3H. These individuals in early life may lack when it comes to communication skills, they often hold themselves back from their full potential. Once they get out of this they can amass huge amounts of success, they grow when going out of their comfort zones and communicating with others.
Sun/Moon-Pluto Asp. (Esp. conjunction). These individuals are powerful people, seriously. However, they often have complications with their image (Sun) or their emotions (Moon), they can. They tend to have inner turmoil that they usually hide effortlessly, their issues may fluctuate and they’re always experiencing new things every month, they often can’t catch a break.
Sun-Chiron. These individuals have serious issues with their images, often dealing with power struggles in younger years. As they get older they may have felt like they spent an eternity trying to figure themselves out yet still haven’t made any progress (I promise its okay🫂). Once these individuals accept their past experiences and grow their confidence and work on themselves, they’re truly unstoppable.
Chiron in Aquarius/Leo/Gemini or in 11H/3H. These individuals may have struggled in the past or have a common theme in their lives relating to their self expression. May have been force to hide their true selves and conform to societies standards. They may have been treated as the odd “black sheep” or the outcast in groups/family. Misunderstood however as they get older they learn to shine a lot better and it comes almost effortlessly.
Moon-Mars/Mercury Negative aspects. These individuals may struggle with emotions. They may spiral out of control and express things that they don’t actually mean. They often don’t know how to properly express negative feelings and people may see them as too much. They find it hard to put their thoughts into words. They often need to journal out their feelings, even talking to people anonymously may benefit even possibly therapy.
Jupiter/Moon-Neptune negative aspects. These individuals are more likely to highly depend on daydreaming as means of escape. They may even resort or become highly co-dependent on false depictions of love, substances, etc. With these individuals there’s like a huge storm cloud that’s constantly covering up the beauty of a scenery. They may overindulge in materialistic things and are likely to maladaptive daydream or technology. These individuals should spend more time away from material things, or do small activities that keeps their mind stable and working.
Neptune/Pluto in 11H. These individuals constantly are blinded by their surroundings and their enemies tend to hide in plain sight. They’re more likely to fall susceptible to the evil eye, and attract envy a lot from others. They may be delusional when it comes to friendships, and not notice that the people they call their “friends” are actually trying to tear down their energy. These individuals are also likely to absorb a lot of negativity from others and can often feel drained easily from being around people. They benefit from becoming more aware of the people around them, perhaps having a form of protection near them and watch carefully who they let in their vicinity.
Uranus 12H. Similar to an Aquarius Chiron imo, these individuals suppress who they are from others. They have a subconscious fear that often holds them back from expressing their unique side completely. They benefit and notice good change when they be their authentic selves rather than conforming to society because they truly are one-of-a-kind individuals 🖤.
Saturn in the 1H/5H/7H/11H/8H. These individuals often restrict themselves from the pleasures of life, they can’t have fun and often are overly critical of themselves. These individuals are highly reflective people and often have trust issues, they overanalyze people and themselves throughout their lives. These individuals need to learn to let go of the harsh standard they hold themselves and other people to, they can’t change things that are out of their control and should learn to relax and live life, these individuals will find fulfillment when they finally let go.
Virgo Moon. These individuals may have grown being overly criticized, they also may have had a critical mother and often take onto these traits into their adulthood. These individuals are the type to work hard and don’t give themselves any time relax at all, they are genuine people yet most people often misunderstand them as controlling or too serious.
Mars/Mercury in Pisces/12H. These individuals may have a lot of suppressed feelings, they often don’t express how they truly feel and perhaps people around them often made them feel that they shouldn’t show their emotions. These individuals can even be explosive at times, they need to learn to control their emotions.
Saturn Square Venus. These individuals not only struggle in relationships but often struggle with themselves and their self-love, these individuals restrict themselves and often have a closed minded approach when it comes to love, either this or they don’t receive much opportunity to experience it. These individuals are pushed to find love within themselves without the dependency of someone else.
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That’s all for now, please comment if there’s any other things that can be added. And if you have any of these placements listed here’s a hug 🫂!
-neptune. ❤️‍🩹
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ch6sos · 4 months
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more nanami headcanons (but as your bf !!!)
a/n: hey everyone! thank you for all the support on my last headcanon post. i never really expected it to go far, but somehow it did. it was my first time ever posting a "fic" you know? i was cringing the entire time but it was worth it, for you guys :) since it did well, here is some more!
i used third person by the way so you're referred to as his partner. tried to make this as gender neutral as possible cuz i love you guys
cw: slight suggestiveness (ooooh... but it's not extreme you sillies)
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Extreme gentleman. He respects their wishes all the time. If they want space, he will give it to them. He will give them whatever they ask for.
Pays on the first date. He forbids their significant other from doing anything. He will pay because he wants to. He truly wants to, not because he feels obligated to.
Would be kind of shy about doing anything at first, especially Teen!Nanami. Even after a long period of dating, he would always ask before showing affection because he does not know if they feel comfortable or okay with it.
"May I please hold your hand? Are you okay with that?
"...We've been dating for a month."
"I know, but, I must ask, you know? In case it makes you uncomfortable.”
When he (as well as they) grow comfortable, the affection begins to become more "intense." Not intense, but he does it more frequently. He holds their hand more, gives more kisses, more hugs...
He would give the best hugs. He is a cuddle machine. He appears to hate them, but does he truly? Exactly. No, he does not. He loves them so much. He wishes he could give up his job to spend the entire day cuddling with his partner.
"Stay close to me, please."
"I don't plan on moving."
"Good. I wish life were like this every day." He hums, squeezing them gently.
Kisses with him are never short; even if he is late. He never leaves his significant other hanging. He craves and desires to kiss them. He enjoys giving his partner a passionate kiss, drawing them near to his chest, and placing his hand behind their head, leaving a memory of the kiss that is warm, tender, and unforgettable.
Genuinely feels like he could share his emotions with his significant other. Yeah, he is still serious, because it's who he is. He was raised in a family surrounded by serious people. Though, throughout the relationship, he learns how to express his emotions better. He feels like he genuinely could reveal all the emotions he has stored in him already around his significant other. If he's feeling upset, he would genuinely express that to them. If something ticked him off, he would sit down and talk to his partner about it.
Despite all of that, he still is more of a listener than a rambler. He prefers putting others first before him, and that also goes for who gets to talk. He enjoys looking at their partner with a loving gaze, as they talk nonsense. Whether it is about the new show they picked up, their day, or the latest gossip, he loves listening.
He would write love letters. I do not care if you find that corny. He is corny. He will write love letters. Nanami is romantic. I don't care what anyone says he is a romance god who does not get to show it off as much. He loves writing lengthy letters, showing the love he has for his partner. Describes their personality and how much he cherishes them, how much he thinks they're beautiful, and how he thinks that they are the stars in the night sky that stand out.
Playing with his partner's hair is (one of) his favorite ways to show affection. If they have long hair, he loves to try styling it and ruffling it. If they have type 4 coily hair, he starts learning how to take care of it so he can try protective hairstyles on them.
Another thing is lazy Sundays. He loves Sundays. Even though he has to go to stupid work the next day. The sensation of them being in his arms when he wakes up, his arms encircling their bodies firmly, the sheets covering them. He enjoys gently leaning in to kiss their shoulders, the top of their head, and the back of their neck. When they began to stir, he pulled them closer— not wanting to get out of bed. All he wants is to spend Sunday morning in bed with his lovely partner.
Gets flushed at compliments, but it is not as obvious. When their significant other says he is handsome, he smiles softly and thanks them, but on the inside, he is freaking out.
Cooks breakfast in bed for them. Always. He loves getting up just to make his significant other the tastiest breakfast ever; it is his specialty. He prepares a warm beverage and some fruit-flavored crepes topped with Nutella and whipped cream.
Before meeting them, Nanami was kind of an insomniac. He would not sleep; hence why he has dark circles. But after meeting them, he started sleeping more. Despite everything, he continues to get up before his partner to prepare breakfast for them.
Not only that but when he was stressed, he would drink his sorrows away rather than confide in someone. Since the fan book claims that he enjoys drinking, I think that, unfortunately, one of his coping mechanisms is doing exactly that. However, since meeting them, he has kept everything under control. He learned to express himself more freely and genuinely strives to avoid suppressing his emotions.
Bro is a simp. His mouth drops when he sees his partner dressed. His jaw falls to the floor. He is stuttering a bit too. I know he is supposed to be calm and collected but he would NOT be calm and collected around his significant other, people. He would go feral and be a simp for them.
He says I love you first. It was quite unexpected and seemed to come out of nowhere. He just blurted it out without waiting for the perfect moment or anything else. It was probably a simple morning, cuddling with him on the bed as usual, looking at each other fondly, and he said, "You know how much I adore you, right?"
When he realizes what he is saying, his eyes widen slightly, but then crinkle up when they tell him they love him as well.
He will do whatever his partner says. They could be 5'2 or around his height; he is a certified simp who immediately attends to their partner's needs.
Even if that includes forcibly doing silly TikTok trends. He pretends to hate it but he doesn't. He is a munch or whatever Ice Spice said.
He enjoys nuzzling his partner. Guys, I do not care. This man is a bundle of love wrapped up in a stoic-looking man. He enjoys sneaking up behind them, entrapping them in his arms, and nuzzling their neck and the top of their head. Wherever he wants, whenever he wants. And he utters sweet nothings. And leaves tiny, delicate kisses. He also wraps his arms around their waist.
He sometimes becomes overwhelmed, so he requires his own space. However, he does not simply distance himself from his partner. He properly expresses that sometimes he needs his own space. He still adores them but also needs some space. He does not want to cause conflict or misunderstanding because he is not that type of person.
Will be there for them when they are sick, even if they believe they look disgusting. He does not care; he believes they are the most beautiful sight he has ever seen in his entire life (which was cut short) (sorry, I am still coping). He will be there to care for them whether they are throwing up, crying, or whatever.
He cooks for them, he gives them medicine, he cuddles them even though he knows he may get sick...
And he does. Every single time. And he acts like a baby too.
Adorable tall, strong man Nanami acts like a baby when he's sick. He needs to be looked after completely. He starts off coughing (like a grandfather or a father). So his cough is obnoxious and loud, and he frowns. He then looks up at his partner, his expression reminiscent of a puppy who has been denied treats. It is an adorable sight. It's a turnaround from his usual chill demeanor. He then spends the entire day in bed, despite his attempts to do his routine tasks like cleaning and cooking for them, which they forbid. And he pouts about it like a big baby.
"Please let me take care of you. You took care of me, so now it's my turn."
"No, you're sick, Kento."
"That doesn't matter." He frowns.
“You always take care of me anyway.”
“But it is my honor to take care of you, my love.”
and then they end up having seven mental breakdowns
If they bring home a stray one day, he is reluctant on taking it but you know damn well he'd be like one of those dads that is hesitant about taking it at first but then ends up cuddling it the next day and then begging for them to not take it to the shelter.
Genuine sweetheart. Holds the door for their significant other, makes arrangements for them when they can not find the time, prepares meals for them, and if they come from a different culture, he starts to learn about it, particularly if they are involved in it.
...This guy is in no way aggressive. I have seen people mischaracterize him as a dominant "daddy" or whatever because he is serious, and Mappa blessed us with the hair-pulling scene. That scene was primarily caused by rage at Haruta's thoughtless harm to those around him and the fact that the man was going against two young girls. He would never act in such a way toward their partner, particularly when they were in bed. He is more of a gentle lover and is afraid of going too far.
Needs are needs, so if they ask, he will comply with some hesitation. He never seemed to get into it, so he tells them that.
That does not mean he is not into some stuff. Bro be praising. He praises hella and talks them through it.
"My love, doing so well for me."
"So beautiful, so gorgeous, all sprawled out for me like this."
“You’re mine. Until the end of time, angel.”
“God. My love, my everything. You drive me wild, you know that?”
“Eyes on me, sweetheart. Want to see how breathtaking you are from here.” All in his deep, ragged and needy voice.
that made me cringe
help I'm crying at the cringe so sorry
His favorite dates with them involve going to a restaurant. Nanami knows some hidden gems, so he enjoys taking them to restaurants where they can eat delicious food. Being a food enthusiast, it goes without saying that he is aware of the good and bad places to go. Because of Nanami's exquisite taste, they have never had to worry about their food.
As I previously stated, he prefers traditional nicknames such as sweetheart, my love, darling, angel, and beloved. I do not see him calling his significant other "baby," "baby girl," or whatever; I believe he finds it cringe-worthy. This is self-indulgent oops.
Sings softly to them while they are sleeping. He sings a song while they are sleeping because he is too ashamed of his singing. His vocals are not bad; he is just shy. (Little did he know, they had several recordings of him singing in secret...)
He will sacrifice his blanket in bed just to wrap it around his partner if they're cold. Bro would give them 90004868787893 pillows, and 8 blankets if they said they were cold.
He exaggerates things. And when I say he exaggerates, I mean he goes to great lengths to win his partner over. If they enter a new niche, he buys *everything*. On date nights, he gives them large bouquets if they like that, and he treats them as if they were royalty.
"You didn't need to get me this entire figure collection from *series*... I feel so bad."
"Well, do not worry, I enjoy buying these things for you. I see how happy you are, and it immediately warms my heart.”
Arguments with him are not bad. He truly never gets upset to the point of yelling because that is not who he is—he is not a guy who yells and he does not want to cause trauma to people in general. Again, though, he seems composed, and it might be frightening. But he then does something right away that causes his partner to instantly give in. Bro could just breathe and they're like "OKAY" and yeah. I understand. I would fold so hard bro.
His love languages include quality time and acts of service. He loves spending every single second with his partner and is immediately angry at the world when he has to work overtime and can not have more time with them. He enjoys taking them on dates or simply staying at home on lazy days. He loves spending time with them. Furthermore, he expresses his love by doing things for his partner, such as assisting them with their work (if he could), giving them massages when they are stressed, cooking for them all the time, washing their dishes even when they beg him not to, eating the olives off of their plate if there are any... He is the king of acts of service.
He is not good at taking pictures. His large thumb keeps covering the lens, so they have to force him to take the pictures repeatedly. Despite this, he never becomes irritated because he gets butterflies just watching his partner pose in their gorgeous clothes.
Speaking of photos, he already had an Instagram account beforehand. (As much as he hates to admit it, Gojo is sometimes the one who takes the aesthetic photos on his page.) He was not active, but he has a few posts on it, but as soon as they got a partner, oh lord Jesus. Bro will post on his Instagram story every single second.
Even though this happens, he prefers to make his relationship private. Private but known, you know? He wants the world to know that he is lucky enough to date them, but still not reveal information or talk about his relationship to anyone. So he would take those private but not secret type relationship photos.
Captions are always complimenting them and are extremely poetic. He's just that guy.
"saw a breathtaking sight. the beach is also there."
“every aspect of you captivates me, body and soul.”
"we are all floating around with the stars and the universe, and it somehow led me to you."
cringes again
Off-topic but not, Nanami would NEVER, and I mean... NEVER, go for his student if he was a professor, even if their relationship is legal. I can't stand it when people do that. He understands that there's a power dynamic behind it and it's low-key creepy how much people enjoy it.
Along with stepcest. Why do so many of you like stepcest? Nanami is not touching any of his family members. I'm scared to say this and this is probably hella controversial for this app but he's not touching anyone even if they're not technically related.
Age gap too. He would not date someone extremely younger than him. He is not going to be 40 and dating a 19-year-old. I just can't see it.
Other than that, he does not have any preferences when it comes to appearance. He has turn-offs, but not in terms of appearance. He could care less about what someone looks like.
In terms of personality, he dislikes negative people. He despises that. He would feel guilty if he became involved with someone unconcerned about the world. He also dislikes immaturity and pettiness.
He prefers people who bring positivity into his life, you know? Someone much more outgoing than he is, but still a mature person with whom he could relate. The more extroverted they are the more they bring out of him. As long as they're not so overwhelming to him.
Even so, he simply enjoys people for their kindness and consideration. How willing they are, how passionate and motivated they are. He simply wants someone who is driven by their goals.
Texts them dad memes he found on Facebook.
“Look at it, it’s funny.”
“...lol”
“You laughed at least a little bit right?
“...No?”
“Okay. I apologize :(“
LAUGH AT HIS FACEBOOK MEMES PLEASE. THEY ARE NOT THAT BAD PLEASE.
When he met their family, he appeared calm and collected, but he was nervous. He was fidgety on the way to their house, something he had only ever done in high school. He experiences anxiety about whether he would be accepted by them or whether he would be good enough.
“Wow, I have never seen you this fidgety before.”
"I apologize. It’s just… What your family might think worries me. I am not sure if I will meet their expectations. I simply want to let them know how much I genuinely adore you for who you are and how much I want to be yours forever."
And they are like ??? because this man is perfect? He is the dream man anyone could ever ask for.
Do not take this man mini golfing bro he sucks ass… I know you guys think just because he is partly white he will immediately be good at golf but no. He sucks ass.
He would be protective, but not excessively so. He is devoted to his partner and will intervene quickly if someone upsets them, intimidating them with his composed demeanor.
"I advise you to distance yourself from them before I regretfully have to take action, okay? We wouldn’t want that, right?” Dumbledore says, calmly. While puffing out his chest. And mewing. And mogging. Whatever that means.
Okay fine, he will watch Jersey Shore, The Real Housewives, Love & Hip-Hop, etc with them. Pretends to hate it but he is invested.
Imagine just going to the bedroom and just seeing him in his reading glasses, sitting up against the headboard, immersed in the book in front of him. The only thing he has on is a simple white tee that does justice to his figure and pajama pants.
Yup feral.
Tries to get into the things their partner likes just so he can understand when they yap about certain things. He just wants them to talk about everything to him. He finds it adorable.
Allows their partner to give him a skincare treatment. He then begins to do it himself. Well, he would only use one product—a cleanser. That being said, he started using toner, serum, and other skincare products. And, yes, he allows them to put ridiculously cute facemasks on his face. And the cute little star pimple patches.
Do not take that man ice skating or rollerblading either. He would be so hesitant on going because he sucks at it. He just goes because his significant other told him to. He fell immediately.
“This sucks.”
“Stop sulking and hold my hand.”
“...You don’t even need to ask.” He says, all giddy.
Please show him the love and care he deserves.
When he works out he will flex on them on purpose. He thinks it is all funny to be all yummy. It is NOT funny.
Yup, he does push-ups while they’re underneath, each time he goes down he gives them a peck.
Yeah so imagine that with him in his compression shirt and shorts…
I could read your mind, people. You are not slick.
This man will not let his significant other have insecurities. He is the type to leave notes all over the bathroom, and every mirror, with encouraging words. Praising their looks and more. Plus he shows in…other ways (wink) how much he appreciates how beautiful he thinks they are.
If they are unhappy, he will truly be devastated. He is miserable when he sees them upset, so he does everything in his power to cheer them up. Whether that’s cooking something for them, taking care of them, trying to make them laugh, getting them something from the store, or sitting down and talking to them about their problems, he needs to make them feel happy.
When he drives, he would not put his hand on his partner’s thigh. He would much rather grab their hand, and put it on his lap, as he listens to them hum along to the radio. He purposely moves the mirror slightly toward them, just so he can see how pretty they are through the mirror. He also looks at them with a slight smile at every stop-light, occasionally leaving small pecks on their face.
Does not mind if they steal his clothes. Go on then silly. He could care less. He thinks it’s cute as hell.
Would teach them how to do things. For example, he will teach them to play an instrument if they do not already, especially if he knows how. He looks like a lovesick fool as he watches them replicate what he did. Unable to resist the urge, he kisses them without reason.
“What was that for?”
"I could not hold back. You are very tempting."
“Is that a good thing?”
“Yes. You are everything I think about and want."
Butterflies all around people.
His only red flag is that sometimes he may prioritize work over his relationship. He unfortunately gets into the stress of work and begins to grind more at work. Call him out and he gets back into his senses.
Buys more storage space for his Samsung S24 Ultra to retrieve more pictures of them. His camera roll is nearly full. Just because of his significant other, his camera roll increased from roughly 150 images to over 13,000 images.
When he comes home from work, he immediately collapses on the couch or their shared bed, on top of them. He then looks like a sleepy puppy.
“Someone’s tired.”
“I hate overtime.”
“I know you do. I cooked something for you.”
“I could have just cooked for the both of us…”
“But I knew you’d come all tired from work. So no.”
“That doesn't matter, you know? I love taking care of you. Just to see that pretty smile on your face.” He pouts, once again.
He ends up making it up to them. You can interpret that however you want.
As soon as this man sees them in formal attire (or in general) it is OVER. His jaw is on the bottom of the earth, his eyes are slightly widened, a blush on his face.
“I have no words. God, I don't know how someone could get even more impossibly perfect, yet here you are, darling. No matter how many times I see you, you still manage to take my breath away.”
yup heart attack
Prepare for so many compliments daily. He talks like a true romance book. None of that Colleen Hoover stuff.
Talks about his partner like a true gentleman. He's not like those types of guys who just talk about their significant other as if they're his property. No. He talks about them as if they are an art piece.
Overall, he just loves his partner so, so much. He expresses it in a variety of ways, from taking care of them—to telling them every single second of the day. In his own words,
"Your presence in my life is like a breath of fresh air, keeping my heart full and content. I love you more than anyone could ever fathom, and I promise you, you have my heart for eternity."
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i love him </3 NANMINPLEAEE BE RELALRHABADHDJSKDHSNEB
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itsdannycragg · 2 months
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Hi Tumblr!
I logged da fuck off at some point and will continue to be very much so not on social media! Believe me when I tell you life is better on the other side.
I do want to pop in with a life update for the curious!
I'm out here in Durham, NC, and three years after moving here with Shelby and Brian, I can confidently say there isn't a place in the world I'd rather put my roots down.
I never knew what actual community looked or felt like until I came here. I'd made friends in town everywhere I'd lived, of course, and we would go out to eat or on a vacation, visit a gallery or something, but in Durham it's just different. Looking out the window during a car ride, chatting with a stranger in a grocery store, checking out a thrift shop or going to the library, I find myself declaring "I love living here..." the same compulsive way I tell my partners I love them. Durham isn't just a place I live, it's where I belong.
I've been calling myself an ex-cartoonist, and preaching the nightmare of trying to make art for infinite-profit focused megacorps. It's not that I didn't love making cartoons, it's that I did. It may not be that way for everyone, but for me, working a job I loved meant I was working every second of my life. Being an artist is a core part of my heart and soul, and near the end, I had become so burnt out I would spend hours just trying to start doing the work I used to fly out of bed excited to do.
So I did some of this and that, worked a retail job that fucked my hands up so bad that I had to have double carpal tunnel release surgery. 29 years as an artist and I get carpal tunnel from hefting around boxes in a warehouse!
Since then, I've pivoted into building a career as a graphic designer. (And I'm learning web dev too!) I'm getting involved in the local nonprofit scene, meeting so many incredible people and finding so many cool and exciting opportunities to focus my design work on community awareness, nonprofits, small businesses!! I didn't expect that to be so viable for a Graphic Designer. I had the misconception for a long time that I'd have to put my creative sensibilities aside for more dry, sensible corporate phooey. But there's so much more. Graphic design is truly a delight and a challenge! I have always enjoyed thinking critically about all forms of human creation. Why am I so drawn to this book cover? What makes that building so weird? Why do these casserole mix boxes piss me off? Why does that person's outfit look so fucking awesome?
Taking those thoughts and using them to inform how I approach design is an entirely different beast from animating and illustrating. I'm fighting for my life out there formatting text, morphing vectors and and scooting things around a comp until it works. A picture's worth a thousand words, but you don't have space for a thousand words in a graphic design. Condense! Condense! It's challenging, and a lot of fun.
Working as a cartoonist was my dream come true, and I am forever proud of and thankful for the part I have played in the history of animation and queer representation in entertainment. I had the privilege of having the life crisis I had at 21— "I never thought I'd get this far. What more could I want? What do I do now?"
Well, a decade later I confidently know what comes after having my dreams come true. I get older, and I experience new things, meet new people, struggle paying bills, endure all kinds of misfortunes and problems, and come out the other side astounded and proud to have survived it. Grow closer to my family friends and community as the years deepen our history together, and just be amazed and thankful that I made it this far, over and over.
It's funny being called old by my younger friends, because I have never felt so young in my life! I JUST cracked 30. There are so many things I haven't done yet, and so many things I don't know that I don't know yet. And I have the power to take ALL of this and to create art about it. Hopy shit!
Speaking of making art and sharing it, one of the reasons I'm excited to be learning web dev is so I can carve out places online where I can share anything and everything I want to. Media Crit, comics, essays, comics, illos, however I want to present it. I'll share it when I get the site running. Or maybe I wont and you'll have to find it by chance.
And of course, I'm still actively writing Neokosmos with Shelby and Brian, and doing other little things here and there. :) See ya when I see ya, Danny
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moonpascaltoo · 7 months
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Fic Recs (steve harrington)
just some of my favorite one-shots or series i’ve read on ao3 and few from tumblr. all works ranging from 1.5k to 30k+ i believe. 18+ readers!
some have a tumblr that i tagged, but others i couldn’t find . i am doing this on mobile which is a bit difficult haha! i read these all (except 2) on ao3 so the links will be ao3. i know some are here on tumblr but i didn’t realize till after reading and making this! <3
steve harrington
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come home by @stevie-petey <3💕
-"come home to me, okay?"
"always," steve promises
in between saving will, then hawkins, then somehow the world, you fall in love with steve harrington.
(a stranger things rewrite).
dancing with our hands tied by @andvys
-You and Steve have never seen eye to eye, and it never changed, not even when you were pulled into a world of monsters and risked your life to save him. But tension had always been between you both, something that neither of you ever wanted to admit -- but how much longer can you take it when the pull between you gets stronger and stronger each second you spend by each others side?
paint me red by eddiemunsons ao3
-You're one of Vickie's best friends. Her girlfriend, Robin, is in need of a distraction for her best friend, Steve Harrington, who you vaguely remember from school. Which is where you come in.
i’m your idiot by thebestandworstdayofjune ao3 @thebestandworstdayofjune
-Steve Harrington has a way of worming himself into your heart, and social situations you had done your best to exclude him from.
small hands, big heart by finalgirlharrington ao3 @sexybabystevie
-Steve Harrington has a massive crush on you, but his recent lack of luck in the romantic sense has him stuck on how to make a move. Plus, something about you makes him nervous in a way he's never been – in a way he likes. His simplest solution? Flirting via the old 'comparing hand sizes' method.
promise by Harley_Honey_Quinn ao3
-Reader learns about Steve's feelings thanks to some Russian truth serum.
kiss me by @corrodedseraphine
-Your friend is desperately trying to find a person who will give him something more. Wanting to feel what it's like to be loved again and after many failed dates he gets the idea that it's time to go back to King Steve's famous tactics. Telling him that it's not the best idea gets you involved in a deal where you have to help him get another girl. Will helping the boy you're in love with turn out to be a good idea? Probably not.
every rose has its thorn by @corrodedseraphine
-Christmas is coming to Hawkins. It is a time of joy and forgiveness. It turns out that your sister's best friend is looking for a new place to live, and you happen to have a spare room in the apartment. It wouldn't be a problem if that friend wasn't Steve Harrington. A man whom the more you try to avoid even more often comes back like a boomerang.
hearts on the telephone line by t_lostinworlds ao3 @t-lostinworlds
-You thought Steve was okay dealing with a long-distance relationship after you moved for an exciting internship in New York. But you were proven so wrong when your boyfriend finally poured his feelings over the phone. Because distance wasn't making his heart grow fonder, it was breaking it.
competitively stupid by t_lostinworlds ao3 @t-lostinworlds
-It was stupid, jumping off a cliff just to prove that you were better than Steve fucking Harrington. But you were competitive. You were not losing to him. But you know what was stupider? For it to take a near-death situation for you both to confess what you truly feel for each other.
perfect blend by Your_Writer ao3
-No one likes their summer job. Working at a coffee shop was sticky, exhausting, and overall boring. In fact, the highlight of your day was the charming, gentle eyed sailor scooping USS Butterscotch just across the way.
the things we don’t say by rdrickheffley ao3
-Steve Harrington once was the bane of Y/n's existence. He had always been an arrogant asshole and a terrible kisser. She never understood how others fell for the boy's eye-roll worthy charm. Now it seems like he will do anything to prove her wrong about anything.
next time? by rdrickheffley ao3
-Three instances where Steve and reader find themselves in intimate situations.
candyfloss and confessions by ACourtofSnakesandStars ao3
-You’ve been in love with Steve Harrington for years, like every cliche come to life. You’ve battled monsters, found friends within kids with superpowers, and you even managed to graduate. Yet the one thing you’ve never been able to do, is tell Steve how you feel. But maybe you don’t need to wait any longer.
a night to remember by RaeWrites94 ao3
-Steve has to attend his 10 year high school reunion and somehow manages to convince you to go as his date and his fake girlfriend. You've had feelings for him for a long time, but figure, why not? You could probably survive an evening of pretending he liked you back and come out unscathed. Right?
with bated breath by brianmay ao3
-Rumors fly after you attend Steve Harrington’s party one weekend in September. Thinking they were his doing, you do everything in your power to avoid him, which proves easier said than done.
cross my heart (and hope to die) by @talesofesther
-Every time Steve gets hurt, you're there to help pick up the pieces; you just weren't expecting him to fall for you in the process.
tales of a love between the lines by @talesofesther
-Sometimes the thing we want most is right in front of us, and Steve might be just that for you; all you have to do is see what he’s been showing you for a long time.
love is easy by seidenbros ao3
-The day you wrote I love you on a post-it note before you'd said the words out loud, and it's the best note Steve ever got.
everything means nothing if i can’t have you by iridescentpetrichor ao3
-Steve and Y/N go on a double date to impress the other one, but it's only so long until the tension between the two breaks.
you’re not by frostandflames ao3 @frostandflamesfanfic
-The year is 1985, you're on a school field trip to cheer on Hawkins High at the championship game before spring break. When the game doesn't pan out as expected, you're even more surprised to discover the one and only Steve Harrington in only his underwear at your hotel room after being locked out by his teammates. What happens when the two of you have a little heart to heart?
last christmas by frostandflames ao3 @frostandflamesfanfic
-You and Steve had always been childhood friends-and remained that way. As Steve ping-pongs around in his relationship status, you have a hard time keeping your feelings to himself as Nancy surrounds his entire world. What Steve doesn't know is his relationship to Nancy may end your own with Steve.
the scoundrel and the princess by @mrshipsmcgee
-after an awkward run in with Tommy Hagan, Steve Harrington is invited to an awful party where he meets a beautiful stranger.
cling by aloevera
-For as long as you could remember, you and Steve have been close. What others see as clingy, Steve sees as comforting, right? Or, you fell in love with your best friend and suddenly, everything is too much.
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starfall-dream · 11 days
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Yandere Baldur's Gate x Isekai Reader Concept
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I wanted to expand on my concept in hopes that people would be more interested in it. This won't get into every single character I want to write for, in fact this will pretty broad, so please feel free to ask me to expand on any ideas I didn't get into concept.
Also, for this concept, I'm including default (whitedragon, storm Sorcery) Durge, who is the Tav in my concept. I'll be using they/them pronouns for them and reader.
This mainly goes over act one, and if people are interested, I'll explore more of act 2 and 3, so please tell me what you think.
Again please send in any ideas or things you want me to expand on.
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You didn't remember how you arrived here, nor do you know how the tadpole entered your head, but there was no use lamenting your situation now. All you did remember was going to sleep one night, your head banging in your head, but that wasn't unusual. When you awoke, you weren't on your bed, but instead on a beach, sand covering your body. 
It was lonely, being in this strange new world. From the moment you woke up on that beach, you knew you didn't belong, and you could feel every essence of your being rejecting the notion that you should be here. But despite that, you remained, mountains of responsibility placed upon you from the moment you realized where you were. Your companions, if you could even call them that, were cordial at best. You could tell that most of them didn't believe your story, thought you were crazy, spouting nonsense of other worlds. Some were nice, namely the wizard Gale and the more welcoming and kind Wyll, though you knew that their kindness was due to need rather than genuine feelings. 
The others were distrustful of you, but as their companion they had no other choice but to follow you. Astarion was the worst, at best his words were just petty teasing, while at worst he made you feel useless. You knew nothing, had very little survival skills, couldn't find your way around any weapons, in his words "hopeless." You tried your best to get along with him and your other companions, but it was often for not. 
The only companion you really found yourself close to was Tav, the more leader-like of the group. The best way to describe them is spacey, staring off into the world, often alone with their thoughts. It was difficult getting used to them at first, you've never seen someone like them before, but they were the only ones to accept you in the beginning. They taught you how to survive in this world, helping alongside Wyll in teaching you how to fight, at least with a sword. It made you feel at least a bit more prepared for your journey ahead, and you didn't have to listen to Astarion's judgmental words any more. 
While Tav was more of the leader, you were always more inclined to help people. You liked the Tieflings, especially the curious children, so it didn't take much to convince you into helping them. It felt...nice, having people's hope, helping people, though you didn't truly know what it entailed. Having to protect your companions, keep them away from the danger that seemed oh so attracted to them, it was a lot of work. Part of you wondered if helping the grove, saving these people, if it would prove your worth to your companions, and for some, it did. Shadowheart was appreciative of the work you put in, though she seemed unable to express it. 
In fact, you felt as though you were growing closer to your companions, at least partially. Gale would show off his magic, he loved it. After finding Karlach and learning more about Wyll, he seemed very obsessed with making sure you knew how to protect yourself. It was easy to befriend Halsin, he was so nice and understanding, as well as understanding as he could be. You even started to help the other companions with their personal issues as their trust in you started to get better. You caught Astarion mending some of your clothes one night, you think Lae'zel complimented you fighting style once, but you really couldn't tell, and Karlach was always encouraging. It felt nice, even if it was all very small acts of kindness. 
Though, throughout your journey, you found yourself worried over Tav. They were always more inclined towards violence, they were intimidating, quiet, but they were a friend to you, and so when they confided in you about their violent urges, something they strived to overcome, you vowed to help them. You could tell your words meant a lot to them, and as they promised to protect you on your journey, despite what path they take, the choice of words slightly worries you, but you trust them, and you were happy to have a friend. 
Meeting Halsin was a breath of fresh air, he seemed to genuinely notice the work you were putting in, offering to help you with your tadpole problem and travel with you on your journey. Your companions seemed to like the fact that a confident healer was finally amongst the party, and for once, after saving the grove and helping the Tieflings, you felt at peace. During their celebratory party, you spend most of your time alone, occasionally being checked up on by the animal companions you've found along the way. Zevlor offered you a drink, and in a tipsy daze, you confided in him about your worries and fears, you talked for hours and it was nice and Zevlor seems sympathetic, even claiming to miss you while they were traveling, and made you promise to find him in Baldur's Gate. 
You promised him, and as the Tieflings left, you found a small amount of dread sinking in. Your companions were still wary of you, and now you were traveling into a more dangerous land. You wondered if it would always be this way, but you knew you would have to keep brave, even if you knew you would never belong despite all your efforts. All you could hope for was hope for change, and keep a strong facade for your companions and yourself.
---
A/n: Again, I wasn't able to go into characters like Zevlor or Raphael as much as I wanted to, so please feel free to send in any ideas or headcanons you have about them or any other characters, I'd love to here them :)
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aristaspark · 7 months
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The reasons why I think Stella and Bloom's friendship is amazing and is not something we often see
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Or why Fate is trash
One aspect of Winx club I always loved growing up was the friendship between the girls. They all love each other, despite their very different personnalities and having some rough times.
While I could write an essay about almost every duo in Winx club, I do think that Stella and Bloom are the most interesting to analyze.
Even though they are part of a friend group, the show doesn't try to hide the fact that Stella and Bloom are each other best friend, they even say so themselves.
This friendship is truly groundbreaking when we think about it, for one simple reason: Bloom and Stella's archetypes usually hates each other when depicted together in media.
Hear me out.
Stella is the girly girl, the mean girl, the popular girl with a big mouth who can appear shallow. Plus, she's blond. She bases a big portion of her self-worth in her apperance. Basically, she's the Regina George of Winx Club.
Bloom, she's not like the other girls. There's nothing wrong with her, she's attractive and a sweetheart, yet she attracts attention for being different (in the show there are a few reasons for this, first she's from Earth and she's also the keeper of the Dragon Flame, making her a god-like existence in the story). She has messy hair, dresses in jeans, doesn't really care about her apperance... She's a fish out of water type of character, the character everyone can and wants to relate to. She's the Cady of Winx Club.
These two were designed to hate each other.
Taking into account Stella's nature, we expect her to hate Bloom out of sheer jealousy. Bloom doesn't try and gets all the attention, she's the new girl who turns out to be the one girl more powerful than her, she's also a princess. We could say that everything Stella can do, Bloom can do better.
And yet...
Stella would kill a bitch for Bloom. Never in the show does she display any sort of ill feelings toward Bloom, on the contrary, she spends her time trying to get her to be more confident in herself and her abilities. She's sweet with her and does her best to uplift her. I can say with confidence that Stella is the one person in the show who loves Bloom the most (tied with Daphne), like Sky doesn't hold A CANDLE to her.
When Bloom leaves on missions by herself she's worried sick, she's always clinging to her, teasing her, looking out for her. She's always the one there for Bloom when things get hard (when the Trix steal her powers, when Sky gets engaged to Diaspro, when she thinks of her family...)
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And Bloom, she just loves Stella. She's the reason her dream became reality (it was her meeting with her which caused her to learn her true nature), and Stella took her under her wing to make it easier for her to fit into this new world. She saw from the beggining that Stella was willing to lie for her, to fight for her and she couldn't help but love her, even if she had a big mouth and quite the personnality. Stella brought lightness and laughter into her world, she was her anchor.
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For real, just look at her reaction when Stella throws herself from the cliff in season two. She spends the episodes after that obsessing over finding and saving Stella.
These two can't live without each other even though one is the 'your typical mean girl' and the other is 'not like the other girls'.
Heck, everytime the villains freaking spy on the Winx these two are all over each other.
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I think the heart of their friendship is their first meeting. Stella was what Bloom had dreamed of all her life: she was a real fairy, the living personnification of her dreams. She's the one who made her dream a reality. As for Stella, she was saved by a human who risked her life and stood up for her even though she didn't stand any chance and didn't know her. Bloom was just lucky she turned out to be a fairy. Bloom then took her to her house and took care of her, without expecting anything in return, which caused them to bond instantly.
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That relationship was freaking transgressive for the time, and Fate's writers deserve jail for what they did to their friendship. Bloom and Stella fighting over a boy and Stella turning into the typical insecure and jealous mean girl? Hell no.
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Look at these queens 🥹
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bloomzone · 4 months
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How to learn from mistakes
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“As long as you’re not dead, your life isn’t the end.”
- Jay Park
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Mistakes happen It is inevitable and it is part of life We will all make mistakes and it is important to learn from them so that we can improve and grow. so in this blog I will talk about how to learn from mistakes and get ur life together !
by: 𖧷´ bloomzone 𝅄 ׂׅ
There are various steps to learning from mistakes. first it is important to acknowledge the mistake and take responsibility for it. This is a crucial first step to truly owning and learning from the mistake next one must take a moment to reflect on the experience and try to understand why and how the mistake happened and what could have been done differently. This is all about self-improvement through reflection and understanding. Acknowledging and reflecting serve as a basis for the final step which is to come up with a plan to avoid making the same mistake in the future.This plan can involve coming up with some rules and strategies to ensure that the mistake is not repeated. It is important to put these strategies into action. Additionally, it is important to keep an open mind and remain willing to learn and accept that making mistakes is an inevitable part of life. It is ultimately important to remember that it is not the mistake itself that is important, but how one learns and grows from it as a person.(This is a hot girl thing )By recognizing the mistake, reflecting upon it, and putting in the effort to learn from it, true growth and understanding can come about.
The most important thing to remember is that everyone makes mistakes. We are human. It is how we move forward after those mistakes that counts. Instead of dwelling on the mistake, learn from it and move on. Take what we’ve learned and apply it to future situations so that we make better decisions. Remember that life is always learning and we are constantly growing and changing, so there is always something new to learn!
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firewasabeast · 2 months
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The Only Exception
Had to write a little fic from Tommy's perspective based off of The Only Exception by Paramore. Read below or on ao3!
For so long, love felt to Tommy like wearing a turtleneck on a summer day. It was uncomfortable. Itchy, sweaty, and no matter how much you tugged it away from your neck it came right back to choke you again.
That was the type of love he'd grown up with. A love that was never truly love at all.
A father who failed more often than he succeeded. Who cheated and lied and spewed words of hatred. Who treated him like gum on the bottom of his shoe. Who treated his mom even worse.
And his mom would get sick of it. She'd say she was done. She'd cry and yell and pack her bags- only her bags- and she'd look Tommy straight in the eyes and tell him, “This is what love looks like, Thomas, this is all it is.”
During those times, Tommy's dad would beg and plead for her to stay. He couldn't make it through life without her, he didn't know what he'd do if she left, he was nothing without her, she was nothing without him.
He'd wipe away her tears and take her suitcase from her hand and lead her back to the bedroom. Tommy would make himself a bowl of cereal, sit on the couch, watch cartoons until after the sun had set, then he'd tuck himself into bed.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
When he got older and left for the army, there wasn't really time for love. There was time for quickies in secret hookup spots around base. There was time to learn more about himself than he dared speak about. There was time to get close to a guy who laughed in his face when Tommy told him that maybe one day they could leave the military and get a place together.
You're living in a fantasy world, Kinard, so here's some reality. Guys like us weren't made to be loved.
He was young and naive then.
He learned to grow up quickly.
He tried love after he first became a firefighter. But love was closing his eyes and imagining someone else when he was intimate with her. It was taking extra shifts at work so he had an excuse not to invite her over. It was telling her he had to sleep alone because he had nightmares.
It was unfair to them both.
It wasn't love.
Because love doesn't exist.
Tommy learned to be comfortable with being alone. Learned to keep himself busy with hobbies so he was content when he walked into his empty house.
Learned to enjoy another man's touch for a night, and be gone long before the sun rose.
Learned to fake girlfriends at work, be the guy who has someone new every other month. Let everyone call him a player because that was better than any other word they'd use if they knew the truth.
Love doesn't exist. Not for someone like me.
Even at Harbor, once he decided to be honest with himself and the people around him, love felt like an illusion.
There was the guy who was still deep in the closet, who didn't even want to look at Tommy when they were in bed together.
Then the guy who paraded him around and let everyone, including his ex-boyfriend, know he was with a firefighter.
The guy who in the end said he only asked him out because Tommy saved his life and he felt he owed him that much.
Just stop trying.
That's what he did. He stayed in his bubble of work, hobbies, home.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
Every day the same.
Then he got a phone call from someone he hadn't heard from in a while.
And he literally owed his life to this guy, so of course he said yes to the most insane plan he'd ever heard.
Then suddenly he was meeting two new guys that had joined the 118 after he left. He was reconnecting with Hen, he was getting texts from Howie, he was gaining a new friend in Eddie, and he had plans to teach this Evan how to fly.
Evan with a beautiful smile and a hot body and the most adorable personality he'd ever seen.
He needed to keep his distance, because he didn't know Evan very well and he could be reading this all wrong.
Which, apparently he was, because Evan seemed to hate him and the last thing he needed was for this overall sweet guy with beautiful eyes to hate him.
He needed to do something to fix it. Needed to make things right so he didn't lose this friendship that hadn't even had a chance to begin.
So, he went to Evan's place and...
Oh.
It's funny how a person can really change your perspective of things.
Maybe the only time love doesn't last is when it's not meant to. Maybe there are exceptions. And maybe it'll find you when you least expect it. Maybe it'll find you in the loft of an apartment you've never been in before. Or during a messy first date that could've ended better on both ends.
Maybe love is an attempt to get your coffee order right when you've never even discussed whether or not you like coffee.
Or it's an insane ask to be a date to a wedding, because even though you barely know each other his family wants to meet you. He's talked about you to them.
It's found in a hug at a bachelor party, or in a “be safe” when you're going into work.
Maybe love is a kiss at the entrance of a hospital. So unexpected you can't help but vocalize your surprise.
Maybe it's not caring if you have evidence of a make-out session all over your face because you like this guy and you don't care who knows it.
Or maybe it's being there when someone from your past pops up and you can't quite vocalize how you feel.
Love is a late night dinner after a bad day where you can express your worries and discuss parental trauma. Love is knowing when to turn the conversation on its heels and flirt because life's been too serious lately and sometimes you need a reason to smile.
Love is found in the person you lean on when you're upset or angry. It's who you go to with your tears, whether they're from sadness or rage.
It's learning each other's flaws and not running away. It's learning to love their mess, all of their imperfections, and sticking it out because they're worth it.
It's a heated argument that no one wins and you forget what started it in the first place. It's in not giving a reason to pack your bags and threaten to leave, but in hashing it out because the person is worth staying for.
It's in honesty and thinking before you speak and being faithful.
It's in a hospital room after an injury that almost takes your life. It's when you open your eyes and your person is seated beside you looking worse than you do because they haven't slept in three days.
Love is cooking dinner together, and laughing so hard that soda shoots out your nose because only one of you knows how to follow a recipe.
Love is running to you when you show up at their station unannounced because they forgot their lunch in your fridge.
It's a kiss in the middle of a station that once held your biggest insecurities hostage. It's a hand on your back leading you up the stairs because everyone will want to see you.
Love is a gasp and a plead for more. A whisper that it's never felt like this before. It's strong arms gripping your back, wanting to feel you, wanting to kiss you, wanting to see you.
Love is holding you close until you fall asleep, until the sun rises, and even long after that.
Love is breaking through every rule you've made for yourself without even realizing it. Breaking down each and every barrier you've put in your own way and doing it with such grace and care that it brings tears to your eyes if you think about it too much.
Love is the person lying beside you right now, snoring so loudly you can't sleep, but you don't even care. You watch them, place a hand over their chest to feel their heartbeat because sometimes you wonder if they truly exist.
Love is curling into your touch, smacking their lips as they tug you closer and resume snoring right in your ear.
Love is here.
Love is present.
Love is real.
Love is Evan.
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grnherbs · 1 year
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I don't want to set the world on fire.
eighteen plus, mdni.
this is a corrupt cop!leon story which will have dark themes such as abduction, yandere, smut (noncon, dubcon), stockholm syndrome, violence & manipulation but content warnings will be on every chapter. i plan for this to be a multi part story but we'll see how it goes !!
wc: 1.2k
cw: kidnapping, corrupt cop, yandere, violence (hitting), spitting, crying, personality change?, concussion, talk of minor injuries, handcuffs, pet names, delusional leon, fear, dacryphilia (kinda?),
you begin to learn new things about your best friend that you never thought would conceivably be true as you try to navigate his personality when he returns as a cop from raccoon city.
“stop wriggling, you're not getting out of those cuffs” he eyes you up in the rearview mirror, his ashy blonde hair falling in front of his eyes before running a leather gloved hand to push it back into place as you continue to move around, the cold metal gripping your wrists as you bite your lip in frustration and he takes a right at the traffic lights, the old tyre's of the cop car screeching slightly as he pulls away.
“please officer kennedy… leon, you know me, i don’t usually do these things, my record is clean, my parents can’t know about this please” you plead with him but he just turns his head back to the road, gripping the steering wheel, pulling out into the junction turning left, shaking his head at your whining.
“you know better than this, i’m really ashamed of you sweetheart, i really thought you were a nice girl, and nice girls don’t do what you’ve done this evening” he berates you and a blush of humiliation settles on your cheeks, looking down at your lap as your childhood friend and neighbour scolds you, a tear falling from your eye.
“please, c’mon i’ll do anything, you can’t tell my parents. you know they’ll kill me” you start to sob and he tuts at you, you continue to stare at your legs, tears still falling as he drives along the rough unfamiliar terrain and pulls into a… driveway? It was dark and you couldn’t even see any street lights, regardless of the blurry tears in your eyes.
“leon, w-where are we? weren’t we going to the station?” you question as he pulls up and turns off the engine, hands settling still on the steering wheel, the leather squeaking as he grips it, ignoring your questioning. the silence was deafening, before getting out the car, slamming the door behind him, causing you to jump and leaving you alone in the vehicle, shaking slightly, where were you?
a few moments go by as he opens the car door by your side, hand reaches in to grip your arm roughly causing you to gasp out and screech quietly “ouch!! leon” you squeal before he places his free arm around your mouth, no chance of allowing sound to leave it.
you begin to panic and scratch at his arms as he dragged you along by your waist, kicking out, what was he doing? whose house was this? It looked abandoned, the plants growing up the walls, yellowed panels lined the outside and the little grass you could see was even overgrown or dead.
he grips you tighter now, as you try to escape his solid, non moving grasp, barely audible squeaks leaving your lips and he practically growls “shut. up. you're only going to make this worse” he says sharply at you and your eyes widen at this, the soft cop who’d been your neighbour for the last decade, the soft blonde boy you’d grown up with, disappearing immediately and the panic truly settles in as a cold shiver whips through your body.
the last thing you remember before the hit to the head had been the bruising grip he had on you and the world fades to black.
drip.
drip..
drip…
the cold hit of water on your cheek had your eyes open quickly, taking in a gasp as you looked around yourself, hugging your arms immediately to your chest, breathing heavily. the cold stone floor was a shock to your system and the damp mouldy puddle growing by your head was still being dripped into from a wet patch on the ceiling. the room around you was dusty, a singular dirty and yellowed light fixture and hardly lit bulb hanging from the flimsy looking, almost makeshift ceiling, barely worth having as it dimly lit the room.
you rub your eyes, touch the shallow forming bump which had begun to grow on your forehead, before hearing the jingle of a cold chain attached to your wrist and that's exactly when you notice the other one on your ankle on the opposing side, another sharp breath leaving your body when reality begins to settle in. looking up and scanning your surroundings once more, you see nothing save for a window at the very top of the room, with bars across it, a stairway that was entirely out of reach. and a metal fold up chair in the middle of the room.
thats when you saw the feet perched either side of it, the individual leaning over the back of it where he was sat the wrong way round. “there you are darling, been waiting for you to open your pretty eyes, you know.. you make the most adorable noises when you’re sleeping” he chuckles dryly to himself, the silver in his hand catching the light, which you came to realise was a knife, he was twisting quietly in his hand, watching your eyes adjust.
you gulped and his dark eyes met yours through messy hair, looking through you “what’s the matter baby? cat got your tongue?” he tilts his head to take you in fully. you refuse to break eye contact with him until the throbbing in your head returns once more, rubbing it and breathing through the nausea it was making you feel.
“afraid you might have a minor concussion sweetheart, you just wouldn’t… stop wriggling away from me, so i had to put you to sleep” he gets up, pushing the chair away, knife in hand, and he kneels before you, hand coming out to stroke your cheek and you move your head back but he grips your jaw roughly making you look at him. “silly girl, huh? it’s just me baby, just your lee…” you felt sick to your stomach as he repeats the nickname and a single tear fell from your face as he said this.
he pulls you in for a tight hug which you settle into for a second, his hand gently stroking your hair and you feel the wave of confidence as your free leg comes up to kick his shin, but he’s quicker than you are, gripping your leg as his fist comes into contact with your cheek almost instinctively, causing you to fall to the side and he stands.
“you fucking stupid bitch!” he shouts at you through gritted teeth, leaning over to spit on your face, backing up and holding the knife out to you. “fine, you wanna act like a stupid bitch, we’ll see how pliant you are after a few cold lonely nights down here”. He tuts as he moves away, foot on the bottom step, taking one last look at the sight and shaking his head “keep crying all you want, it only makes me hard.”
and you pout out at him, a shallow gasp at his cruelty, his footsteps disappearing up the stairs and the light turning off, bolting the door shut and your breath picks up in the darkness surrounding you, a sting settling on your wounded cheek, wiping off the spit he had laid on you. the cold picked up in the barren of the basement, you rock yourself gently as you settle in for a night alone. the sound of his familiar car engine pulling out of the drive meant you were truly alone and you fell into sleep once more, trying to ignore the nausea settling into your stomach.
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lieutenantfloyd · 3 months
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This is purely self indulgent but I can't stop thinking about Konig x modest! Reader.
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Like he truthfully wouldn't think much of your appearance or anything at first. Because of his scars and such, he thinks it’s unfair to base his attractions to people based on their appearance. Konig truly only cares about his partners personally and how they treat him.
It's as you start to grow closer that he actually begins to notice the ways in which you’re different from others. It’s starts with him seeing how you you go out of your way to treat people with kindness. Then he notices how you avoid revealing and form fitting clothes when you take him shopping with you one afternoon. He admires how naturally these things come to you and how truthful you are to yourself despite what other people could think of you.
And if you veil (for religious reasons or otherwise) he thinks it's the absolute cutest thing in the world! His adoration towards you would also slowly change the way he thought about himself. Overtime he'd begin to see wearing his own mask as a sign of pride because it reminds him of you :)
At some point he’d complain about how hot he gets under his mask when he’s deployed in warmer climates. Because you have compiled a seperate modest wardrobe just for the summer time, you’d suggesting he try making a mask out of breathable fabrics like cotton or jersey.
This is how Konig becomes so interested in everything that goes into your outward appearance. If you’re getting ready for a outing together he’ll sit on your bed and watch you intently. He’ll have so many questions but he asks them with only the purest intentions. When he asks if you do a certain step in your routine for a specific purpose he expects a fully detailed response.
After doing some research on his own, he'll shyly ask you about your specific definition of modesty, and then confess how much he admires you and that he’d like you to help him become more modest too. He’d be overjoyed when you agree, and wants to begin everything immediately.
Due to your own experience with the male gaze/general public you're naturally very understanding of his privacy which means a lot to him. Ironically, he loves to take pictures of and with you, so long as his face is mostly obscured.
With his trauma from being bullied, he’ll grow really protective of you. Good luck to anyone who comments on your appearance/beliefs/morals, especially if they’re also in KORTAC. Because he’s travels all around the world, he always keeps his eyes peeled for clothing and accessories that you'd like. Due to his busy schedule you won’t hear from his often when he’s away on missions, but you will get random texts like "Look, Schatz! I found the perfect summer dress for you! I made sure it has perfect sleeves for you!!".
Speaking of which, Konig absolutely loves to coordinate outfits. He thinks it’s cute how put together you both look, with the added bonus of no one questioning if you’re single/who you’re with. Because of this he also comes to love dressing you up. He’ll raid your ever growing closet and meticulously plan outfits for you. Over time you you practically become his living doll.
He has major hang ups around social media, but he’ll create a Instagram/pinterest account (that he leaves blank) solely to find outfit inspiration for you both.
Takes up sewing, at first to help you mend any broken items you have but soon starts making his own garments because it’s hard to find clothes he likes to wear in his size. Oh, and If you get a new veil/head covering, he’ll insist that you buy two so he can turn one into his "everyday" mask :)
He also learns how modesty is so much more than just how you dress, and he commits himself to being a better, kinder person when he’s not in the field. He asks you to guide him through this while also (gently) holding him accountable when he messes up.
Overall Konig wants to become the man he thinks you deserve, and while he knows he’ll never be perfect he’s committed to trying his best. He'd be so soft with you and always wants you to feel very cared for :)
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a-d-nox · 7 months
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pac/pap: how to promote self-love going forward
take what resonates leave what doesn't - nothing is 100% for you because these aren't personalized so please no angry comments or dms about what i am saying not being a good fit for you or that you "don't claim" just keep scrolling if that is the case. be kind, self reflect, and have fun.
last pac/pap: message from your secret admirer
masterlist of pap/pac posts
want a personal reading? click here to check out my reading options and prices!
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pile one
you might settle for less because you likely get caught up in the drama and find it fun/addicting in the moment. you pursue goals/ideas with focus, but often lack the confidence to back it up. or you wait too long for others before moving on.
i believe love has taught you that you should never settle too quickly. it is best to date multiple people before starting an exclusive relationship. don't get overwhelmed by relationship drama because it will consume you and ruin your day (but only temporarily because nothing is forever - so why stress?). you know now not to let others stick their nose in your relationships - too many opinions will taint your feelings. the biggest lesson is that you learned to cut off anything that interferes with your desires.
i feel like you are jealous maybe a lot of people around you are coupled and you are alone. be cautious because you don't know when you might ruin your relationships with others just because you feel unhappy with your situation. stop worrying about being judged or how often you are rejected - it doesn't matter you are going to find someone in due time (you are worthy). you are loving, nurturing, and protective.
you can nurture yourself by getting out there. you have been alone and isolated for too long - so get out there. stop refusing to look within for what you truly want. ask for support to get what your truly desire, especially in the social sense.
what i feel you need to hear is that you have a strong energy - you are gifted with the ability to receive what you need most from the universe. don't rush or force things - what is meant for you, will find you. you are passionate, creative, magnetic, and attractive. you are also nurturing and dependable. you are one of the most supportive person in most people's life. you have many things - you attract the world and its gifts to you. you don't settle for less - when something is missing you go looking for it. you follow your heart and instincts; you make room for new things to bring joy/happiness.
pile two
i feel like you struggle with maintaining balance in a connection and that might just be the source of why you settle for less. you get too invested in a connection and then you loose track of who are and what you want and need most in a connection. you often find yourself prioritizing the other person over yourself.
love has taught you that things can change very radically/unexpectedly and cause you to question everything. you have learned that you have to let go of certain aspects in your love life, so that you can make space for new things and even new people can better help you grow and thrive.
i feel like you are sad presently or are in the process of recovering from some sort of emotional pain/disappointment. sorrow doesn't last forever. you are very capable of healing - new experiences await you. not all new experiences are destined for heartbreak - have faith.
you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to succeed in love and be the perfect partner/person. perfect is impossible - so be generous with yourself because right now you are only burning yourself out. to nurture your wellbeing, you should stop judging your productiveness and stop comparing yourself to others - delete social media and take sometime off where you don't have to do anything at all (no doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, etc.). do what brings you joy and say "no" to everything else.
i feel like you need to hear that you are a patient person who realizes that change doesn't happen overnight. you celebrate the small wins with small cute things (for example, maybe you survived a hard week and you get yourself a cupcake). things are getting better so just acknowledge that they are. you can recognize when things have been blown out of proportion or things are being exaggerate for dramatic effect - you are human bullshit detector which is a rare find. even rarer still you have the ability to find a resolution to any argument. you are presently working on not letting other people's expectations of you throw you off of your path. you can make your own path and you know it. you trust that you are capable of standing independently of others, and you are capable of anything.
pile three
i don't feel like you are the type to settle for less than you are worth - i get the feeling that you are slightly cocky about your situation. you might need to practice being humble in a connection because you can come off as judgy or as though you have a superior attitude. alternatively, you might find yourself in connections with people who are very controlling and you might not recognize that you are in that type of connection until it is too late. it is not your fault that you might have settled for less than your worth in the past - you just found yourself in the wrong place and the wrong time and experienced a toxic relationship.
i feel as though you learned that a partner doesn't need to be flashing or exciting instead they need to be stable, grounded, and trustworthy. you have had the flashy connections in the past and it was not the best. you need something more sensual than passionate. something that grows slowly over time so that it lasts.
your intuition is never wrong about the people with interest in you, so learn to trust yourself. you are very emotionally intelligent, so trust that you have the answers you seek about any connection. trust your gut instead of overthinking and overanalyzing.
cultivate your intuitive powers, so you can manifest your dreams into reality. to nurture yourself i sense that you should reconnect with nature and recharge with the the power of the sun. you should also focus on healing any and all blockages that concern your self-esteem/self-worth.
you might need to hear that you are nurturing and dependable. you are one of the most supportive person other's life. you have many things - you attract the world and it's gifts to you. you realize that things can change very radically/unexpectedly and cause you to question everything. you have learned that you have to let go of certain aspects in your love life so that you can make space for new things and even new people who can help you grow and thrive. you know that heartbreak is temporary and that time heals all wounds. you can heal and grow as soon as you believe that you are worthy and that no one wishes to hurt you or your heart. it's okay to be hurt but you have to release that pain instead of bottling it up so you can recover.
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