#it's a trope that undoes me people
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sega please do not save maria please do not save maria PLEASE do not save mariaaaaaaa sega PLEASE
#shadow the hedgehog#sonic x shadow generations#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#sxsg spoilers#sxs generations#maria robotnik#the very end of the story trailer looks interesting but the implications are giving me BIG concerns not gonna lie#I lost a family member at a very young age and my number 1 most LOATHED trope of all time is undoing the loss of a loved one#so far all the official game content that has touched on maria and gerald completely avoids to commit with confirming her death#which if the reasoning is in order to avoid spoiling the impact in game --I get it#but i am also EXTREMELY worried that they're planning to use time-shenanigans to “tastefully” retcon a difficult lore topic altogether#her death is MEANINGFUL and IMPORTANT and HOLDS DEEP IMPACT TO SHADOW AS A LESSON IN GROWING AND LETTING GO!!#sega you are so so close to peak here please PLEASE do not mess this up#people think kids can't handle heavy topics like death in media#but for kids going through this kind of thing in real life it is SO important to be able to see characters learning to navigate grief#you will not look cool for bringing them back. please don't do this
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Sometimes I think about how and why some people had such a *bad* reaction to the end of Steven Universe, specifically in regards to the Diamonds living.
Even though they no longer are causing harm to others and are able to actually undo some of their previous harm by living, some folks reacted as though this ending was somehow morally suspect. Morally bankrupt, even.
And I think it might be because so many of us were raised on a very specific kind of kids media trope:
They all fall to their deaths.
Disney loves chucking their bad guys off cliffs. And it makes sense- in a moral framework where villains *must* be punished (regardless of whether their death will actually prevent further harm or not), but killing of any kind is morally bad for the hero, the narrative must find a way to kill the villain without the protagonists doing a murder.
It's a moral assumption that a person can *deserve* to die, that it is cosmically just for them to die, that them dying is evidence that the story itself is morally good and correct. Scar *deserves* to die, but it would be bad for Simba to kill him. So....cliff. (edit: yes, cliff then hyenas. But cliff first. Lol.)
Steven Universe, whatever else it's faults, took a step back and said "but if killing people is bad, then people dying is bad", and instead of dropping White Diamond off a cliff, asked "what would actual *restorative*, not punitive, justice look like? What would actual reparations mean here? If the goal is to heal, not just to punish, how do we handle those who have done harm?" And then did that.
Which I think is interesting, and that there was pushback against it is interesting.
It also reminds me of the folks who get very weird about Aang not killing Ozai at the end of Avatar. And like, Ozai still gets chucked in prison, so it doesn't even push back on our cultural ideas of punitive justice *that much.* and still, I've seen people get real mad that the child monk who is the last survivor of a genocide that wiped out his entire pacifist culture didn't do a murder.
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I literally am lovinggg your stories! Especially the yandere ones omg. I usually hate the yandere trope but yours is just so yummy. What about a yandere Logan, him being jealous over his “best friend” hanging around Scott a little too much🎀
Ambrosia (Yandere Logan x male reader) ~! ꒰ᐢ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ᐢ꒱⸒⸒
WC:. 2.5k
Tags: jealous sex, gay sex, slight praising, Yandere themes dark content and gaslighting ect! Blow jobs (reader receiving) pet names, biting, mating press, Logan is a lil mean but with good intentions, anal creampies, little bit of cum eating, slight feminization, Logan obsessing over your scent, dirty talk(referring to readers hole as a cunt) <33
A/N o’m gosh! I love your page it’s designed so cute and I’m obsessed with your writing, specially Logan! I always see you in my notifs and I appreciate you’re likes sm ,I never see enough male reader posts on this man and I’m goin feral over here~ ໒꒰ྀི˃ ⤙ ˂ ꒱ྀིა
It was no surprise to anyone in the x mansion that you always cling to a man like Logan, you were anywhere he was, or the other way around and some people being storm and Scott always tried to warn you how unhealthy it was for the two of you but gosh if you weren’t just a naive man.
Logan would just murmur out “they don’t know a thing doll” while his hands massage your thighs keeping you to himself all hours of the night in his bedroom and that was just fine by you after all this was normal friend behavior right?….he just cares a lot is it!
In the current weeks though, Dr. Xavier had put you on more missions with Scott and occasionally Jean, and Logan was dead set that professor X was against him thinking he was trying to pry you away from him that they were trying to steal you away. Logan would be damned if any of them got to have you, after a long day with Scott you and Jean coming back from a mission you were approached by Logan. “Can you stay with me?…I’m having nightmares again and I really don’t wanna be alone..”
His head drained down to your neck looking over at Scott with narrowed eyes as he spoke in a gruff and mighty convincing tone to you having you all wrapped around his pretty claws practically humming you and massaging your crotch through your jeans getting you to his bedroom leaving a pissed off Scott looking right at you “he never listens to me dammit! I told him he needed to start getting more independence from Logan!” He yelled over at Jean in a hushed whisper
“we can’t make him learn, they are both as codependent as eachother and in a unstable way they are like the perfect storm” Jean just shook her head and turned on her heels heading down her own hallway to her room leaving Scott taking one last glance at Logan’s bedroom door shutting behind the two of you before he himself just headed off to his own room.
“Why are you spendin s’much time with Scott these day…? Do you not like being around me anymore angel?” He’d coo to you his hand reaching between your thighs gripping your cock kissing the back of your neck making you shiver. “Mh—no it’s not that Logan- never”
you’d just whine as he undoes your belt pushing you back down onto his best and slipping his thumbs under your waits band getting your boxers off you. “Of course you wouldn’t would you doll? You’re just a sweet boy” he murmurs gently stroking your inner thighs with your uniform shirt skin tight with the leather hugging each and every plump curve of you w/s waist.
“Yeah I promise Lo, I promise—“ you can’t help but for him like a puppy chasing its owner with your cock leaking a slick mess against the black leather of your shirt driving you insane feeling torn rim rubbing all against his bed sheets, “I know you mean well darlin, think you deserve a reward?”
He lets one of his claws break the skin on his knuckle and traced up your red cockhead. His face dipping clutching at your thighs with a sense of infatuation looking up at you like some god with his chocolate eyes never leaving yours when he pressed a wet kiss against your tip removing his hand off your thigh and holding it still taking one big lick up the side of it.
“Take me more, just a little more Logan, c’mon” you instinctively buck your hips on the bed arching your back just wanting to grip his head and make him deep through you, your brows inching together and the zipper of your shirt feeling to tight with your heated circumstances leaving you unzipping and stripping for him.
“Goddamn angel! you’re like sugar on my tongue doll” suddenly you were his ambrosia, he picked up his pace and took your cock fully into his mouth deepthroating letting his tongue slip licking at your balls while you sit on the edge of the bed reaching your hand down gripping his hair tightly while me massages your thighs with his claws poking out of him like some feral dog breathing in your scent nuzzling his face into your groin making you feel his shaggy beard.
“Lo, I’m getting there- oh fck~!” Your back arches instinctively leaving your pecs pressed upwards to the trailing having rapidly as a sweat line builds up on the arch of your back. “That’s it, just let go for me I’ve got you baby”
his hands gentle up on your thighs feeling your cock start to twitch on his tongue like it was doing laps desperate to explode feeling and rating your bitter ropes shooting him in the throat while he just reaches his work worn hand down to your balls cupping them making sure he milks you good when he looks up at you.
The sensation overwhelming you losing torn grip on his head feeling your cock fall flat when his mouth leaves you bare again, “shh, you did so great angel, so fucki’n perfect it’s pitiful” Logan grumbles and gets up off his knees gripping you up softly by his standards holding York hips letting his claws leave red marks as he slides you up further on the bed with his signature smirk showing off his pretty canines.
“Need you right now Lo….i need you so bad” a broken whisper floods your mouth looking up with a pout presented on your lips when his hand reached around his neck pulling off his war tags, undoing them and reaching down putting them over your head “here, I wanna see you clutching those while I stretch that cunt out” he murmurs right in your ear and leaves you no time to think.
His hands spreading or cheeks apart spitting right in your rim watching it wink at him “you’re all wet like a sopping pussy aint’cha angel” his thumb rubbing your rim pushing it in open making you squirm but his other hand holds your hips down into the bed leaving you a mess with your cock getting hard again and weeping lonesomely between your thighs “add another” you spoke unsatisfied ranting meow already after the sensation of something inside you felt good
“Of course doll, wanna please this greedy hole” his thumb gets replaced with his index finger going in knuckle deep and curling up before he adds a second finger and scissors you with his eyes sole set on your face. “Is this better than Scot? You let all guys get their fingers inside this lil cunt?” His breath halts crossing the line of pure and utter infatuation feeling his cum flavored breath against your rim kissing it as he fingers you.
“Course not Lo! Only let you stretch and touch this..only you” your back arching holding the bed sheets feeling his fingers curling deep enough to leave you breathless when his finger pads rub that bundle of nerves, “I think you’re ready for the real thing, think you’re ready sweetheart?” His voice softens up a little seeing that fragile line of weakness you were tight lining when you laid out and splayed out for him like some pretty doll— no, His pretty doll.
“Yeah, I’m all ready I’m ready Logan” your words slur out drunk off of arousal with a pearly bead of precum rolling down your shaft looking up at Logan biding back your own tears not wanting to wake anyone else in the X-mansion when his fingers slide out of your puckered rim and his other hand slips to your hip grabbing them and pulling you backwards to him.
“It’s gonna hurt for a bit, promise I’ll go as slow as you want it baby boy..” his hands grip his belt buckle and unbuckles it pulling down his pants and throwing them somewhere in his room leaving you batting your lashes at the large bulge in his jeans protruding begging to come out as you try to calm down clutching the name tags around your neck.
“Fuck Lo- c’mon please” your voice whispering his name out like it’s your only prayer trying to get his boxers down with his thighs before he pulls them down leaving his cock standing eager and tall against his stomach with a prominent vein going up the curved side nearly having your mouth water when he spreads your thighs apart opening you up and holding your legs to the mattress letting his cock nudge and nuzzle between your cheeks while he looks down at you clutching his Wolverine tags.
“Just stay nice and quiet, don’t want Jean to hear you moaning…not yet alt least” he hums starting to nudge his tip inside past the gummy rim of muscles watching how it stretches, how the light in your eyes go glossy, how your pupils go wide like a cat when he stretches you—he’s already about to come just from that stupid little look on your face, oh the things you do to him.
His head droops down like a hound shoving his face in your crook holding you down to the mattress with your thighs gripped and wide apart slowly bottoming out into you “dammit doll, it’s like she’s purrin, does this little cunt like getting stretched?”
He groans biting your Adam apple pinching the skin between his canines stripping you of little gasps while he stays mounted on you leaving your cock sandwiched between his hair covered abdomen while the head board creaks when he pulls out a little and shallowly slams back inside you making your hole go wide burning from the sensation leaving your hands shaking clutching onto his tags hanging on your neck like they were prayer beads.
“Right there Lo, c’mon little more oh!” Your jaw slacking up under him going wide eyed when his cock drags along your inner walls pulling nearly all the way out to his tip and shoving back inside leaving you out of breath. “Shh, stay quiet baby doll, doin so good so far- don’t wanna have Scott seeing you like this”
his voice comes out like a choked growl letting his claws come out a little again shredding his own bed sheets while he buried his face further into your neck nibbling and sucking on the bite marks taking in deep whiffs of your scent making you swear his cock was pulsing every time he took a breath in,
“Smells so good baby, such a sweet doll” his hips start circling around and shoving forwards between your thighs letting his spit make for lube with your cock stuck against your belly button covered in Logan’s saliva while you reach your free hand to the back of his hair letting his beard leave red marks on your s/c skin.
“Lo-gan t’much, can’t take it Lo” your voice strangely from your lips letting your eyes gloss over and roll back when his cock head presses bullying your prostate making your rim feel like fire around his cock when he stretches you over and over bordering a painful pleasure. “Don’t say that angel, my pretty boy can take it all can’t he?” His voice speaks pressing sloppy wet kisses against your neck watching your face and how your fingers trembled to clutch his tags.
“I’m tryin Lo, I really am~!” You squeak your feeling your thighs go numb from being gripped tight and shoved to the bed not feeling his thrusts let up once. Logan’s hips start to stutter a little leaving you feeling his cock piercing you and keeping you spread as he slips his hands further up your legs moving from your inner thighs moving under your knees and shoving them to your chest allowing him to reach a deeper angle inside you.
“I know you’re tryin, doing so fucking well, just lay there and spread wide f’or me darlin” he grunts letting you feel how rigid his breath is dampening his beard with his drool licking up your neck mounting you hard leaving you beneath him feeling his body weight with a small huff removing one hand off your legs keeping his left hand under your knees holding them to your chest before he reaches around and gives your cock a firm grasp at the base making you arch.
“Oh~ I’m close Lo- I’m— gon’Ah” your voice cracks in half breaking into shards when your glossy eyes finally spill over with tears of pleasure leaving your ears ringing clamping and twitching around his cock feeling your base shudder under the rough hand cumming all over your own thighs and chest laying fucked out “look at’cha squirting all over yourself angel”
he heaves making your feel every buck and jerk of his hips with his mouth slipping upwards biting at your bottom lobe fucking you into the headboard.“Where do you want it sweetheart? Want it in your tummy or that pretty little mouth of yours hm?..or maybe all over them pouty lips” Logan whispers in your ear leaving his hot breath cooling the drool on your neck making it harder to speak just letting go of his hair trying to point at your belly trying to urge him inside.
“Nuh-uh baby doll, good boys use their words don’t they” he mocks you a little letting go of your softening cock to grip your hip with one hand and holding your right knee up to your chest letting your other leg hoop around his hip and bring him closer. “I wan’it inside me Lo- please inside”
you plead over and over going breathless when you finally feel the pudgy cock head pulling against your prostate letting you know what came next, white streams spewing all through your body making your feel like a little furnace under him while his grip loosens and his muscles tense up holding you steady looking up at you kissing away the tears on your cheeks growing more and more insane over you, enjoying how your skin held its afterglow and how your curves felt beneath him.
“There, there baby, don’t cry, lemme hold you…not letting you go [name] I’m never gonna” your heart skipped at those words never understanding he really meant them, only thinking he was trying to be all sweet to you when his hands leave your body letting his claws pull out of the mattress they were buried in as he crawls from between your thighs pulling out nice and slow with a slick pop.
“Logan” you wanted to tell him you needed more and you really would’ve if the feeling of his chin on your shoulder blade and the arm snaking around your waist from behind didn’t shut you up. “I know sweetheart” the only words that left his lips as he pressed a kiss to Your sensitive skin leaving the air field with a mutual understanding lingering in the air while he holds a you like he’s about to have you ripped away, his embrace tight and firm but holding a world of comfort to your used up body.
#sleep-0-deprived#logan howlett x male reader#logan howlett x reader#sleep 0 deprived#x male reader#logan wolverine#x male reader smut#bottom male reader#sub male reader#mlm ns/fw#logan howlett#wolverine x reader#x sub reader#x sub male reader#x bottom reader#yandere cw#top yandere#top male yandere#male yandere x male reader#male yandere x reader#yandere x male darling#yandere oneshot#yandere x male reader#dark content#cw dark content#dark content x male reader#mlm yandere#yandere obsession#yandere character#yandere logan howlett
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I just want to feel
Pairing: Colby Brock x Fem!best friend!reader
Summary: your best friends, Sam and Colby, ask you to be in one of their Q&A videos, but there’s alcohol involved… a lot of it.
Warning(s): SMUT! Mature Language, mature themes, kissing, alcohol, unprotected p in v, Friends to lovers trope :)), choking etc.
This is a long writing so I’m sorry for mistakes!
“Are you sure I should be in the video? I mean, your fans barely know about me” You ask for a final time as Sam leads you to the living room, his recording camera already set up in front of the couch where Colby had been sitting. The two of them were wearing all black so you did too, a black off the shoulder sweater that was old. It was one of the main things you’d leave at Sam and Colby’s in case you ever crashed for the night.
While most people would kill to be in their videos, you never really saw the point. You were somewhat camera shy and a complete nobody. Why would anyone care to see you on the screen? Not to mention all the random internet ships that come with it all. You grew up with Sam, which means you ultimately grew up with Colby as soon as they met. You were only a teenager and now that your adults, you stay at theirs from time to time when your out with friends and get wasted at a party.
Colby would always come and get you from them.
“Our fans will love you. Just be honest and chill, okay?” Sam nods toward Colby and you walk past him to sit next to the dark haired boy, his strong cologne filling your nose.
“Don’t be nervous, at least we have alcohol” Colby’s comment made a small laugh escape from your lips, and you shook your head at his playful smirk. He was right. Alcohol always calmed you down and made your anxiety a little bit less of what it usually was.
You watch the blonde lean forward to turn on the camera and Colby does the same, although you sit back and watch them do their intro. You’d only been in a few other videos of there’s as a small guest but they always made it known to their fans who you were. After all, you all basically started off nobody’s together.
You remember the last morning you had left for school with Sam in freshman year. It was the last day you’d left alone with him for the rest of high school. Your parents were close to each other so you and Sam had practically known each other for most of your lives, but that day, when he met Colby, it wasn’t just the two of you anymore.
The three of you would take the bus together every morning and walk home every afternoon, spending almost every second in between still with one another. It was perfect. Your group was so refreshing, it felt so right.
Your first argument was when you were in junior year, at a party you knew you shouldn’t of been at.
At the time, you’d been talking to this senior, James. He was the captain of your schools swim team and fairly muscular for his 17 years of age. That night at the party was the first time you’d really done anything, he kept handing you shots and like an idiot, you took them. Looking back on it now, you know it could’ve been avoided, but you also trusted the boy you liked. You truly wanted to just fit in with his friends.
That was until he tried to to undo your crochet top in the middle of the dance floor, whispering dirty nothings into your ear that made you feel disgusting.
When you told him off, he got angry with you, grabbing your arm and trying to pull you away so he could get you alone. People were starting to stare and you were starting to get embarrassed, like you were some random slut he’d been taking upstairs.
But then he was ripped away from you, and in only a matter of seconds, Sam’s hand was laid on the small of your back, checking you for bruises the boy might’ve given you. He was trying to talk to you, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the chaos on the floor.
“Colby, get off of him!” You scream, noticing the blood coming from James’s face. Colby was on top of him, punching him the hardest you’d ever seen anyone punch, not sparing him anything. Sam held you back when you tried to get close, they saw what he did to you and there was no way in hell they’d let it slide.
The sound of police sirens fill the street and everyone is quickly running out of the house, and finally Colby stands up. He wipes his now busted lip before looking back at his two friends, but you couldn’t take your eyes off the bloody mess laid on the floor.
You hated blood.
“Y/N-“ you push yourself off Sam and past Colby, looking out the window to watch the police cars pull in front of the house. It looked like a murder scene, and you were so in shock you couldn’t even think straight. “Y/N, we have to go” Colby tries to grab your arm but you quickly pull it away, and now he’s able to see the tears streaming down your cheeks.
“Get out of here!” You can hear the officers radio the closer they get, and all you could think about was getting Sam and Colby out of there. “Go! Please just go!” Your pleading words make it almost impossible to not listen, and with only a few more seconds, your friends were gone.
That was the day you realized the severity of your friendship— or at least you and Colby’s friendship. The fact that all of you would do anything for each other, whether that was beating up an abuser, or putting your life on the line for the other person.
Ever since then, you and Colby had this undeniable tension between the two of you. It was weird, like something you couldn’t figure out. It was only made purely visible that night.
You’d never even kissed Colby, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t think about it sometimes. Your usually able to hide it, your desire for the boy, except when your at parties.
Whenever you drink, it’s like everything has to come out the way you think it. Nothing like liquid courage, huh? That’s the exact reason you didn’t want to do the video.
You never stopped thinking about that night.
“Y/N?” You blinked at the touch against your arm, and Colby was looking at you with a slight confusion on his face. “You okay?” You notice the camera’s recording light and nod, sitting up with a smile. “I think it’s time to get drunk, huh?” He nudged you and you nod with a laugh “first question!”
One of your other friends was there reading the questions for you, and even though you thought you’d start off light, she did not give you a break.
“What’s the worst doing the dirty experience you’ve had?” Sam and Colby stare at each other for a second until one of them laughs, shaking their head with the dumbest response. Sam, of course makes a joke out of it but Colby has no shame in what he says, as always.
“One time I had a girl use a lot of teeth, and uh… we never talked again. It was very awkward” Sam hisses at the statement, which makes you laugh too. “What about you, Y/N?” Colby turns to you and your face almost turns red from the sudden eyes on you. Everyone in the room and the camera was waiting on you now.
“Uh… I guess the last time I was talking to a guy. I had to fake the whole thing and he finished quick so it just felt so awkward and it was silent the rest of the night” Colby and Sam raise their eyebrows at you but are laughing at the same time. They knew who you were talking about.
“Colby, why do you post with girls on social media and never tell the fans what’s going on?” The question takes all of you by surprise and Colby’s eyes go wide. That was exactly what happened with you and why you didn’t want to be on the channel that much anymore.
“Umm…” He laughs nervously, looking over at you for a split second. “Because sometimes, I don’t know what’s going on, alright? I’m just posting the post and maybe it turns into something or maybe it doesn’t?”
“It’s not like their your girlfriend” Sam interjects and Colby nods agreeably.
“Let’s just say if I had a girlfriend, you guys would know” After you guys are done with that question, your kind of sitting back and watching the two answer at that point. Except they had to drink once so you did too, now you were all one shot in.
“Colby, why do you have a pair of handcuffs in your room?” Everyone’s face is in shock in the room as they look at Colby, waiting for his answer. He laughs nervously again, looking over at same with wide eyes before sitting up.
“I uh… you know I-“
“Might have to drink on that one, huh?” You tease and he rolls his eyes at your words with a laugh, closing the alcohol bottle he was about to open.
“No, no. I um… I use them for personal fun. Yeah, that’s-“
“What the fuck does that mean” You and Sam burst out laughing but your friend shakes her head. “Judge says no. Drink!” Sam hands him the bottle and Colby’s face is now turning a slight red. A tint only you could see because of how close you were.
“I’ve used them for sexual fun” He says just as he’s about to pour the shot, but your friend rolls her eyes and nods that he doesn’t have to drink.
“That was luck” Colby nudges your arm and shrugs, that annoying smirk of his only making you laugh.
“Name two dirty kinks you have” The girl reads and all three of you are wide eyeing the camera. Sam curses under his breath and Colby is still in shock. It was still so early in the game, already?
“Wait, I’m not answering that. I already said one, right?” Sam agrees to Colby but the judge shakes her head. “Just one more then? I already day said one!”
“You go first, Y/N” Sam cuts off his clearly pressured friend and they both turn to you, but your face is an even deeper red then Colby’s now.
“Um… I don’t—I mean it’s been a long time so I don’t really know…”
“Oh come on, Everyone has them” Colby teases and you glare at him, letting out a sigh as you sat back on the couch.
Apart of you was afraid to tell them, because you’d never really been that open with them about sexual preferences. Sam wasn’t the one you were worried about, him and Katrina were perfectly locked in with each other and you knew whatever you said didn’t matter.
But with Colby, there was always this unspoken tension between the two of you. One you tried to ignore but always failed terribly when you’d see him make out with another girl. You were afraid he’d see right through you if you answered the question, and if there was one thing you couldn’t ignore,
It was the way he’d look at you.
“I think… I think choking is attractive, but like not too aggressively, you know?”
“So your submissive?” Colby’s words go through your ear and straight down. He was clearly trying to get to you with that question, and there it was again.
The tension between the two of you.
“Sometimes” You try to cover it up but you can feel his eyes piercing right through you, his smirk showing the small of his pearly white teeth that always made you blush. “What about you then, hmm? Mr. Talk shit” You push his face and the two of them laugh, but Colby is no longer embarrassed to say it.
“I like to be Dominant” He says to the camera and Sam blows air from his mouth, shake his head in disbelief. Colby isn’t looking at you on purpose. Oh god, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go.
You lean back on the couch, scratching your nose to try and hide your burning hot cheeks from everyone’s eyes. It was like he was doing it on purpose. He was so clearly teasing you.
And you wished it wasn’t working, but it’s been so long that it’s impossible for your stomach not to twist into multiple knots.
Or at least that’s the excuse you gave yourself.
After many more questions and many more drinks, the alcohol started to take a toll on all three of you already. You had only had three shots and even the camera was hard to focus on. Sam and Colby’s eyes had been getting red but yours were harder to see because of your eyelashes.
“Who do you think is the most attractive clubhouse member besides Kat” Colby and your own eyes go wide and you both stare at Sam. Obviously he couldn’t answer that, but neither could you, right?
“None! Sorry, gotta drink to that. Can’t answer cause it ain’t true” Sam sasses the camera while opening the bottle. Colby laughs, both of you applauding your friend.
“Yeah, I’m gonna drink to that one as well” Colby reaches down to grab the other bottle from the floor, pouring it into his shot glass. “I can’t answer that, but I do have someone in mind” he cheers to the camera and his words alone make your stomach twist once again. It definitely wasn’t you, but saying something like that… after the other questions..
“What about you, Y/N?” The girl asks as the boys down their own shots. She raises an eyebrow, “might as well give us something here, right?” As much as you wanted to decline and run away embarrassed, you could feel the liquid courage increasing.
The way everyone looked at you, they all knew who it was. You leaned back with a huff, you could feel Colby’s eyes on you the entire time you were stalling, but when you looked at him, his eyes pierced through you.
“I think… I think I’ll drink too” Sam and Colby boo at you when you pour the shot. You couldn’t do it. He didn’t either so that must mean he doesn’t… feel the same, Right?
“I can’t even see the camera anymore, dude” Sam laughs at Colby’s words. Sam has more shots then the two of you so you’d imagine he’d be the one saying it, but of course it was Colby.
Maybe that’s why he was looking at you like that..
Towards the end of the video, all three of you were pretty drunk. Sam was the least, you were in the middle, and Colby… Jesus. Colby was so drunk.
“Fuck, man” Colby lays his head on the end table for just a second, you could tell his head was spinning. You rub his back, his body temperature is very warm. You look over to Sam and nod toward the camera, and Sam immediately understands.
“Maybe we should take a small break?”
“Where are you going?” You ask Sam, watching him put on his jacket and grab his keys. You finished the video about 30 minutes ago and Colby was on the couch watching tv, while you had just changed into night clothes which really were only comfy shorts and a crop top like usual.
“I have to go stay at Kat’s tonight. We’re heading to her parents tomorrow morning” You hum, pouring a glass of water for yourself and one for Colby. You had forgotten Sam was going away for a few days. “Try not to have too much fun while I’m gone” You stop and look at him with slightly furrowed brows, but he’s just raising his eyebrows with a shrug, leaving you with the confusion of his statement.
He doesn’t… he can’t know, right? You weren’t that obvious.
“Water?” Your voice is enough to catch Colby’s attention from the tv. He was watching some random scary movie it looked like but you’d never seen it so you weren’t completely sure. You hand him the water and take a seat next to him, leaving a gap between the two of you. You had thought the tension would be gone by now but it clearly wasn’t, you could only hope it was just your overthinking.
“What’s up with you? You were being weird the whole video” His question makes you somewhat relieved. Maybe he didn’t suspect anything, maybe it really was all just in your own head—but how were you meant to explain you couldn’t focus because of how badly you wanted him. Even now, he was leaned back on the couch, his hair messy from running his hands through it and his tattoos on full display for you to look at. Jesus, it felt like torture.
Why did you have to get drunk?
“I just didn’t feel good” You shrug, looking over at the tv and tilting the glass of water toward your lips. You can feel his eyes on you, waiting for you to give him a real answer but he doesn’t push you. He only takes a sip of his water, turning back to the movie.
“Are you going home tonight?” You glance at the clock, it’s already 11. Should you? You have a room here, you didn’t really need to.
But did he want you to?
“I was planning on staying but if you don’t want me to-“
“I want you to stay” Your stomach twists, with excitement and somewhat nervousness at the same time. He was being direct but he wasn’t even looking at you. You wanted to stay and watch the movie with him, but the more you looked at him, the more the drunken side of you just wanted to kiss him.
You wanted him.
“Come here” You hesitate for a few seconds before placing your drink back on the glass table in front of you, moving to sit closer to the boy. His arm was laid on the back of the couch and he opens the blanket he’d been using to you. He wanted you close.
Your practically curled next to him by the middle of the movie, head laid in the crook of his neck and your legs sitting on top of his own. Not much had been said all movie, but Colby was getting more and more touchy as it went on.
His fingers traced shapes on your bare legs under the blanket, the cold metal of his rings sometimes brushing against your skin. He made it seem so normal, like it was an every day thing the two of you did together.
But this only made you so much hornier.
His scent radiates from his neck, and it was almost as if you wanted to kiss his neck right then and there. It was so alluring—He was so alluring to you.
And he knew it.
“Do you want to tell me why you were really acting weird today?” He asks again, looking down at the tent his hand made under the blanket while he caressed your leg.
You bite your bottom lip, looking at the blanket as well. You could feel the tingling feeling between your legs as his hand touched you farther, as if he had been testing the waters before actually saying anything.
“Colby…” You can’t help but pull your legs even closer together, and that alone is all he needed to tell him how you felt. “Not everything needs an explanation. It’s just… complicated”
“Complicated, huh?” He hums sarcastically, in a knowing form. You bite your lip as you watch him rub his temple, frustration radiating off of him. “You know, For the longest time, I tried to let this whole thing go out of respect for you, Y/N” He mumbled, his voice low and husky with passion. God, he sounded so hot. Even if he was upset, you just couldn’t help yourself. “I always thought it would be you and Sam” He lets out a huffed chuckle, still keeping his eyes on his lap. “But I want it to be me”
What?
No. He isn’t… he doesn’t mean what you think, right? Colby Brock isn’t confessing his feelings for you, right?
“Colby, what’s wrong with you?” His body tenses when you ask that stupid question. What’s wrong with him? Like you didn’t know.
“What’s wrong with me? What about you?” He finally turns his head to look at you, his drunken, sad and very horny eyes staring lasers into yours. “You can’t seriously sit here and believe yourself when you ask me that question” You couldn’t think. You didn’t even move for awhile because of your lack of words or thoughts for that matter. You wanted to give in, but you were also so terrified of if it wasn’t real.
“Colby, I’m not the person you want. Trust me, you will figure that out soon enough” He scoffs as you get off the couch, trying to at least relieve some of the tension between the two of you. Colby was so tired of waiting, but you were just too scared.
“How do you know what I want? You’ve barely spoke to me the past few weeks!” The boy calls after you when your walking away from the couch, his voice only makes you stop. “You’ve been weird for weeks, Y/N. Don’t ask me what’s wrong with me when you can’t even tell me how you feel”
“Colby, I don’t know how I feel!” You turn around with frustration, staring at the back of his head. He was still sat on the couch, and part of you hoped he stayed there—but another part wanted him to go after you. “I haven’t just been distant because of you-“
“That’s such bullshit and you know it” He stands, turning to look at you. You were far too drunk for this. You could feel the unnecessary tears already filling your eyes, you didn’t want to argue with him. “Look me in my eyes and tell me that—then I’ll let it go”
“Can we please just talk about this tomorrow-“
“You know what I think? I think your just scared of feeling weak. Your scared of letting someone in, Y/N. And the past few weeks we’ve been getting closer than before, that’s why your distant now. That’s your biggest weakness” Colby scoffs, grabbing his jacket off the couch and slipping it on with ease. You furrow your eyebrows as he walks toward you, and past you.
You grab his arm, “Colby, your drunk. Don’t go out, Please” he’s avoiding your eyes but you can see the chisel on his jaw, clenching with what you thought had been anger. “I don’t know how to do this, Colby. I… I can’t even bring myself to say the words I want to say to you” He tears his arm away from you, snatching his keys from the countertop. No. You couldn’t let it end like that—not when you have so much to say. “Okay, fine!”
“You want the truth, Colby? For years all I felt for you for you, all in silence because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship with Sam and Each other. I watched you with other girls since we were juniors! I couldn’t stand you, but yet I also couldn’t stand to be without you. Everywhere I go, I always want you with me—and when i’d see you with other girls, it would make me feel stupid, like my feelings meant nothing to you even if you didn’t know”
“How was I supposed to tell you that? How was I supposed to tell you that even after everything that’s happened, I still can’t stop loving you!” Your confession slips like words of anger said in an heated argument. Colby still wasn’t looking at you, which only made your heart ache even worse. You just poured your heart out to him—couldn’t he at least look at you?
“When you got put in the hospital during senior year, I was there every fucking second with you! I cried, Colby! I was a mess for days, and Sam was the one who had to juggle the two of us!” You remembered that day like it was yesterday. The day you’d gotten into a huge argument with Sam about your feelings for Colby. Sam always knew of both your feelings, but he didn’t say anything to the other. If you were going to admit, it had to be to each other. “I’m usually so good at hiding how I feel, but I’m getting so tired of it. The Same repeating cycle I just-“
“Why didn’t you just tell me, Y/N. Why didn’t you-“
“Are you serious? After all those talks we had about you not caring for a relationship and not wanting a future with someone? You were practically telling me no! I wanted to tell you but then you started going to parties more and kissing girls and-“
“Y/N”
“It hurt me, Colby. That’s why I didn’t tell you. It would physically hurt my chest to see you kiss another girl after flirting with me for DAYS. You played with my head and I know I played with yours too but-“
“Y/N, I’m-“
“No matter how hard I try or how many guys I find, there’s nothing for me. I can’t… I can’t move past you and it fucking sucks” You hadn’t even realized he moved until you were done talking. He was close now—close enough to hear his breathing if you’d been quiet enough. Your heart shatters with every passing moment that’s goes silent. You knew you couldn’t be the same after this, so you begged in your mind for him to say something.
Only he didn’t say anything, and for a moment you actually thought he’d leave you there alone.
But you two were meant to love each other, Remember?
A silent moan escapes your mouth as he crashes his lips into your own, the sound muffled by his. The kiss is filled with so much passion it could make one’s heart explode if you weren’t too careful, it felt like the two of you had been waiting years to do this.
Which you were.

After the first kiss, the two of you didn’t waste any time. Colby pulled you up, your legs wrapping around him as you continued to make out with the dark haired boy. His large hands cupped your ass, and soon enough you felt your back hit the cold wall. One of your hands were laid on the side of his neck while the other held the back of his hair, tugging on it slightly.
It had only been a few seconds ago you were sitting watching a movie—how in the hell did you both get here so quick?
He carried you to the couch, sitting down so you could straddle his lap instead of holding yourself up against his waist.
His hands release your ass and move up your back, slipping under your shirt to unclip your bra.
Colby smirks against your lips and removes his hand from your shirt, lifting your chin to pull away from the kiss. “Dirty girl” You hum as his lips attach to your neck, his comment making you all the more wet then you already were. You didn’t put a bra on—and Colby seemed to have really liked that you didn’t. “You make such pretty sounds—wish I could’ve heard them sooner”
You can feel the hardness under you, and the more you grind on him, the more you can feel his grip on you tighten. It didn’t hurt—it just turned you on even more.
“Colby, Please” You plead breathlessly. You wanted him to do more then just kiss your neck. You wanted him to take you to his room, to do everything he’d do to someone else. “You don’t have to be gentle with me” you tug his hair gently, meeting his lust filled eyes. You were desperate for him and you didn’t care, you’d waited since junior year to have your way with him—to have him want you.
“I’ll leave marks all over you, Y/N” he says in a slightly warning tone as if he didn’t want to completely destroy you in that moment, but you shake your head, grabbing his hand that slipped to the waistband of your sleeper shorts.
“I just want to feel something” You say in a tone he’d never heard you in before, one that made him want you even worse then before. You slip your hand off his own and place it on his chiseled chest, feeling the crease of his abs all the way down until you reached his belt. You wanted him, you just wanted him to know that. “I want to feel you, Colby. I want you”
“You want me to treat you like everyone else?” You hesitate but nod after a few seconds, slipping off his lap to stand to your feet. He stands in front of you, his height making a clear difference above you. His expression hadn’t changed yet, he was so hard to read. “I won’t do that, Y/N” Before you could say anything, he was already picking you up and wrapping your legs around his waist again, crashing his lips back into yours as he made his way to his room.
This man… you didn’t know how to describe the feeling you had when he kissed you, but it was unlike anything you’d ever felt before. He was so different from everyone else you’d been with, and you didn’t know why.
You did. Deep down you knew why he made you feel the way he did. Colby was the only guy you truly wanted. Even when you had a boyfriend, you still wanted him instead.
He drops you onto his bed, removing his black wife beater and throwing it to the side, revealing his tattooed body you’ve grown to love looking at. He looked so good in this lighting, and the way his hair fell messy over his forehead—you couldn’t stop your thoughts from running wild.
“I want you, Y/N. I need to know I have all of you—that your only for me” You pick your head up to look at him briefly, fingers playing with the string of his pants. “I won’t treat you like some random slut when your not”
The feeling of his fingertips brushing against your skin made you shiver, it made you feel as if this might’ve not been real, maybe a dream after all. But after seeing his face and feeling his hand stop just above your waistline, everything felt at ease.
“I’ve always been yours, Colby Brock” That was all he needed to hear, all he needed to give into you.
And soon enough, here you were again, pinned against the bed while Colby’s hands grip your waist, peppering sweet kisses against your neck. You almost couldn't hold it in.
Your hand slowly found its way to the back of his neck, running your fingers through his hair as his wandering hands went right under your shorts. You knew what you were doing with the outfit, and it only made him laugh just thinking about it.
“Please, Colby. I don’t want you to hold back… I want you to give me all of you” you were smirking to yourself, biting your nail like this was somewhat funny to you. Colby didn’t see the appeal, if he was going to fuck you, he was going to ruin you for anyone else.
“You’re playing a dangerous game, Y/N” He tells you with a sharp tone, moving to place his hands against the beds cloth, closing you between him. You smirk, looking him up and down once before looking back to his face.
“I’m tired of waiting” The two of you laid there, staring at the other for what felt like forever until He finally gave in, cursing himself under his breath before he grabbed your neck to pull you into a rough kiss. Your body is flush against his as he completely explores your body with his hands. You could feel his growing erection, you could feel his hunger for your body like he felt yours.
“Colby” You mumble in a breathless moan. His lips remove from yours and move to your jaw, hungrily peppering wet kisses down it, all the way to your neck.
“You are so fucking hot, Jesus” He groans against your ear, placing soft kisses on your sensitive skin. Your moans are what encourage him the most. Hearing your sweet whimpers in his ear as he sucked on your neck felt like a dream. Believe god, he’d had that dream many, many times before.
“I’ve waited so long for this” Your breathless under him, gripping his hair between your small fingers. You could feel his cock pressing against you, begging for your tongue. It was big—he was so fucking big. It should’ve scared you but you were more intrigued, grinding your hips against his to gain some friction with the little time you had before he stopped your bratty movements.
“I know you have” He teases and you only roll your eyes, grabbing his hand that held you steady against him. You could feel his lips brushing your skin, he wanted to mark you, and you wanted him to. You wanted Colby Brock to let everyone know you were his.
“Nothings stopping me from walking out that door” You hum, holding his head and slightly pushing it down so his lips reattached to your neck. “I’ll find someone else—someone who hasn’t played with me for years” A grunt escapes his mouth as if he had been fighting with the feeling, shaking his head between your neck before meeting your eyes again; your bratty, untamed eyes.
“You’ve waited so long I thought? So long your body even reacts when I look at you” He’s so obviously joking and you love every second of it. Every word of degradation is like music to your ears, like a forbidden kink you didn’t know you had. “This is what you wanted, huh? All those looks you’d give me after I’d make out with randoms—you were so jealous, Sweetheart” Your ears are perking at his every word but your eyes were filled with annoyance. Colby knew now so why would you hide it? Hide your jealousy? “All those times, you could’ve just told me you wanted me and I would’ve given it all to you. Nobody else”
You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling you closer to his body then before with a smirk, shrugging your shoulders. “That doesn’t matter. I have you now” His eyes. Oh god, his eyes were so hungry. At first you didn’t know what to think but it only took you a few seconds to realize once his large arms were wrapped around your thighs, pulling your body close to him.
His chin sat against your stomach, staring up at you like he had been waiting for you to say something. But you didn’t know what he was planning until his thumb was ghosting around your clothed clit, that same smirk pulling at his lips as he watched you.
He slips your shorts off with ease, along with your black lace underwear, tossing them both to the side.
“Fuck” You breath heavily, leaning your head back against the sheets, not even realizing the boy under you was now fully under you. “S-shit!” Your hand fell clasp over your mouth to silence your moan, eyes falling back on him under you. Except now, his face was pressed into your dripping wet cunt, and his fingers teased what his mouth didn’t. “Fucking hell, Colby” You mumble under your unsteady breath, trying your hardest not to moan because he had just started and you didn’t want to seem weak.
But holy shit, this boy knew how to use his tongue.
Your hand fell atop his head in hopes to gain some sort of stability but that quickly failed, given how badly he was attacking your clit. His mouth was warm against you and you already knew you’d come soon. It was like he knew your body inside and out.
“I know your not holding back on me, are you?” His words vibrate against your cunt making you jolt, thankful his arms held you down so you wouldn’t squirm. Colby was in pure bliss under you, relishing in your sweet taste that so effortlessly painted his tongue. You were wet, your cunt was begging for more even if you were a crying mess above him, like it finally found what it had been longing for.
“I can take it” He chuckles at your attempt at retaliation but still manages to one up you, slipping two of his large, slender fingers inside you. “C-Colby, let me-“
“No” He only uttered one word but it was enough to make you listen like a trained dog, allowing your legs to tremble against his face. You could’ve taken it had you been prepared, but it had been far too long before any guy had done this to you.
“You taste so fucking good, Y/N” His fingers curl against your spongy walls, pushing his tongue against your clit quickly as your moan’s increased. It was so clear you were already on edge, about to let go without it being over five minutes. You find your pride slipping from you in a matter of seconds, begging the man to let you come as your fingers tug his hair. You couldn’t hold on, your legs were far too weak.
“Please, please—Colby, please” His ears are perking as you moan his name, begging for him, moaning for him. Normally, he’d take his time with you but now? He needed to release all that tension between the two of you from years ago, he knew he couldn’t last much longer. He needed to be inside of you, and for that exact reason is why he only sped up under you. “G-gonna come..!”
Your mind tried to come up with some sort of reason as to how you got yourself here, How you got your best friend between your legs, and definitely how you were about to fully submit yourself to this boy while your true feelings for each other were unknown. He was thinking the same thing; how did he get so lucky to have you above him?
“Let go for me, Pretty girl” In only seconds, you’re coming undone above him, legs almost falling weak as they shook from your release, sending shivers throughout your entire body. Colby’s still torturing your body, pumping his fingers into you at a faster pace. It was clear, he was trying to kill you.
“Colby!” You cry, gripping his hair with a begging tone. You couldn’t take it much longer. You had to push him away. Finally, after what felt like forever, he removed his tongue from you, letting his fingers slip from inside you. His strong arms are the only thing that held your legs still, and you could see your release painted on his chin once he looked up at you. “Holy shit” You curse under your breath, chest heaving as he stood to his feet. You look at the large man above you, noticing once again how he towers over you.
He bites his lip, admiring your perfect body that had been on almost full display for him. He leans down when you notice how hard he is, lifting your chin with the hand he hadn’t used on you.
You watch through your eyelashes as he sucks his finger clean from your release, biting his lip with a silent chuckle at how lovingly you looked at him. You grab his hand, pulling it closer to you until his other finger was pressed against your lips—to which you copied his action from before, staring into his dark eyes as you did.
“Good girl” He knew you liked that. It was so obvious—the way your legs clench together at his praise. He pulls his hand away and moves it to your neck, pressing a soft but sloppy kiss to your lips. You could taste yourself from him, and God… it was so fucking hot.
Your hand feels his body effortlessly until you reach his aching print, a small smile pulling at your lips against him.
“Let me” You mumble breathlessly, placing your hand over his cock. You could feel how desperate he had been for you, how badly he wanted you in that moment. His hand wraps around your throat firmly, pulling your lips to crash back into his own. He was so rough and impatient—you loved it.
“I need you. Right here, Right now” His voice is deep and makes your skin shiver, the way his hands touch you so delicately but with control. His room was slightly dark, only lit by the strip of LED’s above his bed frame.
“I want to be yours, Colby. Make me yours, please” Your words make his and your own stomach twist into knots, he almost felt bad. He waited so long to make the move, afraid he misread the signs, but he’d never admit that. You allow your hands to travel down his bare abs, feeling every chisel between the pads of your fingertips. When you reach his belt, you’re quick to help him tug his pants off, watching him with the most admiration.
“After we do this, everything will change” He looks at you once more, both of your hands laid on the waistband of his underwear. You lay your free hand on the side of his neck and use the other to touch him lower—right where he wanted you the entire time.
His breath shutters at your bare touch, something he’s wanted for so long was finally right in front of him. You were all he wanted and he prayed you ensue him just as much.
“I love you, Colby. There’s no change in that” You tell him truthfully, watching his eyes soften just before you pulled his face down to kiss his lips. Except this kiss had much more
meaning—the kiss after you’d admit your feelings for one another.
He leans you down, closing you between his large body and his bed, your hand is still pressed into his print, but he’s already slipping his underwear off by the time you can notice.
Fuck. He was going to ruin you.
Your hands cup his face when his tip presses against your entrance, slick coating it by the second. You wanted him for so long, you didn’t care if it hurt at first.
You just wanted him.
From the moment he pushed inside of you, the only feeling you could endure was love. He was slow, gentle to help you get used to his size. The boy peppers kisses to your neck as he pushed further, comforting your slightly pained moans that slip from your lips without warning.
“Mmm” You let out a soft moan once his tip is past your entrance, the hard part was now over. You look at him with your lips parted, brushing your thumb over his bottom lip. He pushes your hair out of your face before kissing you, and you weren’t prepared for when he pushed into you fully with one snap of his hips.
Your toes curled and your nails dug into his skin desperately, the feeling was almost indescribable. You just felt… full.
“Oh my god” You moan against his lips, throwing your head back as he strokes you slowly, massaging your thigh. You looked so perfect like this, so pretty in this light. Your body was almost bare for him, and your body was welcoming him with open arms—he couldn’t get enough of you. “Colbs…Colby” one of your hands release his shoulder to grip the sheet underneath you, teeth catching your bottom lip between them.
“Starting to feel good?” He hums while you nod, moving his head down to your neck, placing sloppy kisses against it. His hips find a steady pace at first and gradually work their way up, starting deep, then fast to your skin. “God, you feel so good” one of his hands travels up your body until it reaches the shirt covering your upper half, just wanting to rip in off of you.
“Take it off, baby” Your breathless words are too late when he’s already slipping it off your now fully bare body, completely discarding it to the floor next to him. Jesus, you were so perfect.
“You are so beautiful, Y/N” He presses a kiss to your lips before moving down your body, trailing his wet tongue down until he reached your nipple. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, the curves of your body… you were practically made for him. A shuddered moan escapes your lips when he swirls his tongue around your hardened nipple, kneading the other with his free hand.
“Mmm!” Between the stokes of his hips and the sensations he brought to your skin, you couldn’t hold much in. You were sure you were being too loud but the two of you didn’t care. It was just you and him, nobody else.
His strong arms capture your thighs, pulling one of your legs to rest against his shoulder. “Colby! I can’t… oh my gosh” Your little voice is projecting off the walls of the empty room but you don’t care, only worried about the boy above you. Your head was still slightly spinning from the drinks you endured earlier that night and it only mixed with your horny mess of a body, begging Colby for more. “It’s so good… fuck! You’re so fucking good!”
“Look at you. Such a fucking mess under me. You needed me just as much as I needed you” He grabs the back of your head, pulling you up slightly so you were at an angle you couldn’t look away from him. His big eyes were burning holes into your own, hips rutting into you like he had something to prove.
Which he did.
“Gonna come…! Colby, I’m gonna come!” Your a whining mess under him and he loves every second of it, pushing his hips into you faster then before. Your small body was like a toy in his hand and you were at his every command, doing everything he said.
“Come for me. Want you to scream my name so the whole neighborhood knows who’s fucking you this good—so ever man knows your mine” You knew it was a bad idea but who were you to decline that request? You were already screaming as it was. “My dirty girl, Your so fucking hot like this”
“I’m coming! I’m—oh my god I-“ Your voice is cut off by your loud moan, leg shuttering against his shoulder as you felt your release threatening to push over. His tip was kissing your cervix repeatedly, and you knew you couldn’t last much longer. “Colby…!” You cry out, pressing your hand to his chest as if that was going to do anything. Your orgasm finally tipped, and you felt it hit you like a truck.
“That’s it, Baby. Good girl” His thumb rubs circles against your clit as he ruts into your harder, watching your liquid spurt from between the two of you. “My god, Y/N. So fucking good for me”
“Colby… please—Jesus-“
“You can whine all you want, but your body is calling mine for more. You want more” You grip his large arms until your knuckles turn white, scratching along his tanned skin. You curse at him, not wanting to hear his teasing any longer. “Fuck me? I’m only giving you what you want” You look at him with an angry look for a second before completely switching, a smirk pulling at your lips. Jesus, you were nasty, huh?
He pulls out of you all at once making you whine, not able to protest before he’s already flipping you over onto your stomach and pushing your ass in the air. You giggle, stretching your arms in front of you as you arch your back against him, begging him to forgive you. “I was only joking, Pretty boy” You hum, looking back at his face.
He doesn’t say anything and grabs your hips roughly, pulling you back onto his length that so easily slipped inside of you. Your eyes roll back almost instantly as he bottoms you out, pushing his cock as deep as he could reach inside you. “This is what you wanted? Then fucking take it” He growls against your ear, slamming himself into your harder than he had been before. You couldn’t even think straight, you were already so fucked out you didn’t even remember what it felt like to not be fucked.
“fuck! Right there! Please, Colby—fuck me right there!” Your begging voice is music to his ears, your hands gripping the ground under you as he pushed himself against you. “You’re so deep… so fucking good to me, baby” He hums, leaning against your body so you were entirely pressing against him, his tongue running along your skin. Once again, you could feel his sloppy kisses against your shoulder and your neck.
“Nobody can fuck you like I can, Pretty girl. Your mine. You’re all fucking mine, you hear me?” You cry out a yes, the sound of your skin slapping against each others being the only thing that could be heard. “That’s it, just like that, my love” He praises against your ear, holding your hips to press into his.
“Colby, I’m gonna come… oh my god” You whine into the sheet, feeling the pressure building up fast inside you. He’s a grunting mess above you so you knew he was close as well, he was only holding out for you. “Come with me. Please, don’t hold out on me”
The snap of his hips slow down the closer he gets, and now your body is flush against his own, rocking back and forth to his pace with his face buried in your neck.
“I fucking love you, Y/N. My girl, come for me and only me, yeah?” You moan at his words, throwing your head back against his chest as his fingers circle your sensitive clit. you couldn’t hold it anymore, and neither could he. “I’m right behind you”
Drunk sex always felt way too good but usually it was faster and much sweatier, this felt far too different. Even if your hips moved fast against his, it still felt like everything had been in slow motion. The way his hands held your delicate body in his embrace as he thrust his hips up to meet your own, how his lips parted in anticipation to kiss yours, Colby was so hungry for you—his body, was hungry for you.
“Colby… Colby!” His name rolls off your tongue in a beautiful moan. You can feel his slight hesitance but the eyes you give him are enough to tell him exactly what you wanted. You wanted all of him, just as you said.
“Fuck…!” He curses under his breath, your moans filling his ears as you clenched down onto him. He continues to coach you to it, and with one last snap of his hips and circle to your clit, you felt your body release it’s everything onto his. He shushes your loud scream while silencing his own grunts, fingers digging into your hips to pull you close, painting your gummy walls with his white, hot release.
For awhile, All that was heard was your heavy breathing and the sounds of the tv in the other room, and you soon found yourself collapsed next to each other on the bed. Your chests were heaving horribly, and the sweat that drip from your foreheads were now everywhere. You look over at the boy next to you, only to find he had already been looking at you, both of you breathing heavy—lips parted.
It only took a second for one of you to start laughing, and Colby leaned over to kiss you again, this time staying there for the longest he could.
You hum as he pulls away just a tiny bit, still close to your face. Your eyes are shut, relishing in the feeling you had. How do you go on from this? Clearly you two loved each other, but you prayed it wouldn’t be weird…
“Come here” He lays his arm out, pulling your body closer to his so you could lay your head against his chest. The room was hot and smelled of pure sex but neither of you complained. You were just happy.
“Colby…” You mumble after awhile in silence, tracing the tattoo on his chest for the 2nd time. He hums in response, the tips of his fingers brushing through your soft hair. You almost feel bad, as if you’re about to ruin the amazing night you had—but you had to say it. “Where do we go from here..?”
Your voice is low and nervous, so focused on the negative that you couldn’t even see the obvious answer. Colby made it clear what he wanted. He couldn’t go back to normal with you—not after this night.
“I want you to be my girlfriend, Y/N. I’ve always wanted that” He pushes your hair away from your face, placing his finger under your chin to lift it. “Please tell me that’s what you want too”
Your eyes soften at his hesitant tone, grabbing the hand that sat under your chin to intertwine your fingers. Of course you wanted that. It was all you ever wanted.
You nod
“Sam is going to be so happy”
Just a little something different 😉. See y’all whenever :))
#sam golbach#sam and colby#sam and colby smut#sam and colby fanfiction#colby brock#colby brock smut#colby brock fluff#colby brock angst#sam golbach smut#sam golbach fanfic#colby brock fanfic#colby brock fic#colby x reader#Colby x reader smut#colby brock x reader#youtuber#smut#best friends#friend to lovers
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Futuristic Settings and the Erasure of Disabilities
The common theme in a lot of futuristic, sci-fi or not, settings, is the abundance of cure tropes that are thrown in there. Disabled people either don't exist, or aren't actually disabled - they get a magical device that undoes their injury, or get a mech suit that basically does the same thing.
Often the setting is treated like an excuse that can't be rebutted in any way: “but my story is set in the future where medicine is better!”
So: is that true? Does better medicine actually mean less disabled people?
Historical Accuracy
[large text: Historical Accuracy]
In 1900, the life expectancy of a person born with Down syndrome was 9 years. Try putting yourself there and imagining that 2024 is the Future - better medicine, basically sci-fi in comparison to what they had back there. In that future, what is true?
a) There's no people with Down syndrome.
b) People with Down syndrome live to be 60 years old on average.
Answer? B. The only countries with fewer people with Down syndromes are the ones engaging in widespread eugenics, which is a topic I will not be getting into in this post, but I'm mentioning because the only places without disabled people are eugenicist.
The “better medicine” of the future didn't make Down syndrome curable, it made people with it survive longer. 50% of people born with it today will live to be over 60 years old. In the future, there will be retirees with Down syndrome. In the past, 50% of them wouldn't have made it into their teens.
Why does that matter?
[large text: Why does that matter?]
Future medicine won't make disabilities disappear. It will make them more manageable. Less deadly. Easier to survive.
If you base your knowledge and perception of disability throughout the times on sci-fi novels by able-bodied writers, you're going to hate how it actually works in real life.
Have we magically- technologically gotten rid of diabetes? No, 11% of Americans have it. 103 years ago, diabetes were lethal. There aren't fewer diabetics compared to the past. They live longer. You probably know or heard of someone who has diabetes.
You need to expand your understanding on how disability and medicine work, because “future = no disability” is genuine nonsense. It doesn't work like that, and it really frustrates me how writers dead-set on “logic” in their setting fail to see this.
Are paralyzed people walking around in various mechs, or are they using better wheelchairs than those from 100 years ago? Wheelchairs that make it easier to be independent? That help with symptoms of their disabilities by preventing pressure sores, or providing alternative methods of maneuvering?
In the future, why would there suddenly be those futuristic transplant* spines instead of wheelchairs that can be used with one's brain or eyes, for those who can't move their hands, mouth, or head? Why wouldn't there be wheelbeds for those who are currently bed-bound because they can't manage being upright in any way?
*Also, how are all of these magic disability-fixing transplants never actual transplants? Receiving a transplant basically always ends up in being immunocompromised because of the very way the body works. If you're writing about humans, this isn't going to change?
Things like sign language or wheelchairs have been used for thousands of years, they're not going away anytime soon or not-so-soon.
Future = More Disabled People?
[large text: Future = More Disabled People?]
We already discussed that there are presently common disabilities that used to be lethal a century ago or even less. If we use this fact for a futuristic setting, you suddenly have a myriad of new possibilities.
There's vastly better medicine? A lot of people deal with post-rabies syndrome because it's finally survivable, but it leaves people with the effects of the meningitis that rabies cause. There's way more quadriplegic people because the survival rates are much higher. Cancer survivors are more common because people live longer. Physical therapy for people who had prion diseases because they aren't fatal anymore but cause severe disability. Head trauma is more treatable, so there's more people with TBIs and less people dying in vehicular accidents.
The technology is super advanced? People with locked-in syndrome can operate an AAC device with their eyes, fully customize its voice to their liking, and not have to worry about battery life of their powerchair because it has sonar panels. Canes that can fold themselves with the click of a button so that they can fit in one's pocket.
There could be so many more adapted sports! Tools and technology that can adapt a house exactly to one's needs! Wheelchairs that are actually affordable! A portable pocket sized device that makes ableds behave normally around disabled people!
The point of this post isn't to completely shit on sci-fi settings, but instead to urge abled writers to think a bit more and try to be creative in the way they go about speculative fiction. Write something new! There's one billion stories about how impossible it is for disabled people to exist in the future, and it's upsetting at best to read that constantly when you're disabled. As long as there are people, there will be disabled people.
mod Sasza
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last ep really reignited (not that it was ever really unignited) my love for fjorester man. a girl who grows up learning only to mediate her life through tropes from romance novels and a boy who grows up literally chiseling off the parts of himself that he thinks stain him and hiding the parts he can’t literally shed himself of. and like. the way that jester becoming aquatinted with reality doesn’t completely undo her Romance Goggles™ but instead inverts it and has her take on the handsome hero role to fjord’s damsel in distress. like. in practice they switch who’s the damsel and who’s the hero but in terms of overall arc. jester is the handsome roguish figure on the run from the law who runs into the uncertain and floundering figure trying to figure out who he actually is. (and obviously they’re both these things in different ways. what makes fjorester so delicious is that their arcs have such similar shapes but with different focuses) but like. jester who starts out flirting trying to play at being like her mother and like the characters from the romances she’s read only to end up romancing fjord in the moments when she subverts that. when she’s crying in front of jellyfish and carefully asking him about a past only she’s been privy to and confiding to him that she’ll give up her life if it stops the evil that’s coming. meanwhile fjord is courting danger and dying in front of her and blushing when her advances are mort overt and like. the way they both romance each other in ways that suit each other. jester checking in with him in quiet moments (always thinking about jester’s hesitant ‘how are you?’ in ep 117 that makes fjord break out into the sweetest surprised and endeared smile) and fjord doing big romantic gestures in response. the way that’s encapsulated in the ways they tell each other they love each other for the first time, jester quietly snuggled up against him in the middle of the night and fjord after conjuring rain that they can kiss in. jester giving ashton romance advice that assumes ashton’s role as the masculine pursuer and then doing exactly what she recommended he do to fearne to fjord. her little addendum after the silliness of “and then you just tell her how you feel” (i can’t recall the exact line). and just. fjord and jester as these people with so much bravado and masks that they have both because they find enjoyment in putting them on but also because of burdens they’ve taken on but both of them also having a person they can unbuckle in front of without sacrificing the like. playfulness a mask grants, they’re just also allowed the safety of being seen. do you get it? do you get it? they make me lose my mind.
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Hi there another question from me! So saw this on a different Tumblr account but I have to ask fake-out-make-out scenarios. If your happy to do them.
How would the RO's react to MC doing this trope, in the like crushing/yearning stage.
Doesn't have to be too spicy whatever your happy with if you don't mind. Please and thank you
As far as I know this is the first time I've actually gotten this question? So I'll definitely answer it! (Will be crushing stage) Below the cut for more~
❤️ Cam- (if Cam was your first kiss) As you pull away Cam’s eyes open, searching your face, for what he isn’t sure. To see if you hated it? Or more precisely, to see if you hated that it was him you kissed.
“Sorry, I didn’t know what else to do.” He notices the shakiness to your voice. He notices your lips moving, how they’re red and swollen and wet with saliva, knows you’re explaining the reasoning behind it. Likely to do with the person who asked you to dance earlier that night. The same one who decided to leave right after seeing you kiss.
It doesn’t sink in what you did, not fully, not until you feel a finger tracing along your bottom lip. You turn your gaze to look at him, at your best friend, the best friend you very much just kissed in a room full of people.
Cam places his hand over yours, still resting on his chest. Worried that you might feel how fast his heart is beating, how much it’s quickened in your presence, in your actions. “It’s okay. Besides it’s not like it’s the first time we kissed, right?”
That gets your attention, and he mentally pats himself on the back for it. To see the way you scrunch your face when he teases about, that. He’s not sure how well he’s hiding his smile, he doesn’t feel his cheek tighten from his dimple. Maybe he’s better at hiding some of his emotions than he thought. Yeah, right.
“Cameron Clarke! We were like 13 when that happened, you can’t compare that to now.” Your hands now rest on your hips, something his eyes take in happily. Maybe he can get his heart under control before you figure out just how much he actually liked that little kiss.
“More like 16.” He scoffs, his eyes dart to your lips, the way your tongue darts out to lick off the saliva, to the furrow of your brow, the look in your eyes. One he isn’t quite sure on how to read. You don’t look disgusted, regretful. Not how he thought you would. He’s able to read you better than anyone else, except this time. This time, even Cam can’t figure it out.
“You’re never going to let me live that down. That was bec-”
Stepping closer to you, Cam’s other hand reaches up to your face, his thumb rubbing along your bottom lip as it does so. Your words dying in your throat. Then he slowly slides his hand along the side of your face cradling it gently. Cam swallows, tilting your head so that you look at him, his lips inching closer.
“Cam..”
“They’re still there.” No they’re not.
“Just this once.”
Cam nods, just this once.
💙 G - “What do you mean you see Chris?” You try to keep your voice low, hoping to not be overheard. With one hand on the side of your face, in hopes of concealing your identity, which you have to admit must be pretty damn laughable considering how hard G is trying to hide their smile. You try to look behind you, but G’s grip on your arms tighten.
You can’t recall what you two where bickering about, something to do with proper pet bedding, an argument that was quickly forgotten when G stood frozen and mentioned Chris was behind you, on their way to the very elevator you two inhabit.
You turn in hopes of slamming a finger on the button to close the elevator door, but once you turn to look you freeze. Chris sees you, and you them. Their step falters and their eyes go to G and you.
Fingers gently grab your chin, turning you to look at them. G smiles, a sad smile, one you know they have given you before, but unable to recall when. They look torn, as if what they're about to do will undo them entirely. Maybe that's why it takes you by surprise, maybe this was not something you ever expected to happen between the two of you, at least not again.
G bends down slowly, you know you have time to pull away to stop what's about to happen. But if you're being honest that's the last thing you want to do.
Out of the corner of your eyes that Chris grips their hands, and your eyes close. Chris all but forgotten as G’s hand slides to your waist.
A low groan sounds in their throat, and they push you backward, your back against the walls of the elevator as the door finally closes. Chris no longer witnessing the exchange. You think G will pull away, this little charade done and over. But they don’t.
Their fingers dig into your side, their tongue sliding against your lips for permission, and you give it gladly.
After several minutes the two of you pull away, trying to catch your breaths, and G pulls away, as if having several feet between the two of you would help any. They're unable to look at you, wiping at their lip softly, "I..didn't know what else to do."
💚 Kara - For as bold Kara can be, when her lips claim yours it feels as if she can break at any moment. Her fingers are laced into your hair, and she has you pressed so tightly against the wall of the bar that it's even hard to breath. There's a hint of urgency there, underneath the fear. "Chris is going to kill me." She murmurs against your lips, but doesn't stop herself from going in for another kiss. The person who had been bugging her scoffed and walked away as soon as her lips touched yours. She doesn't seem as confident in her kiss, almost as if each soft peck was testing the waters, trying to see where you would stop. But you've been thinking about kissing her for awhile now, Chris be damned.
💛 M - "For fucks sake man. Can't you see they're not interested. Hello, am I invisible sir? Am I?" M is clasping your hand tightly, fingers intertwined and are now waving them around. The man looks taken aback, M still giving them a glare since this is now the sixth time the guy has asked for your number. Not looking as if they're going to back off M turns to you, so many emotions flicker over there face in a span of a few seconds. "M-mmph!" It's clumsy, it's messy, but it's M. Their teeth sinks into your lip briefly eliciting a moan from you, which only causes your mouth to open allowing their tongue to slip in. For as reserved M can be about things, you did not expect this. Not the way their hips press against you as if searching for more than just your lips. Their lips are minty thanks to the tea now laying forgotten on the counter of the cafe. "M...p-people are looking." They pull back just slightly, eyes heavy lidded and looking you over, "What?" The confusion on their face is something endearing, well it would be any other time. Your eyes shoot around, and they suddenly drop your hand, cheeks tinting under your gaze. "I...need....I..hot" Is all they can muster before you have to drag them out.
💜 Isaac - You're not sure who Isaac is hiding from, you just know that as soon as they saw them, they grabbed you, pulling you against their chest as their back rests against the car. "This is just a kiss alright? Don't...don't think of it as more." Isaac is quick to pull you towards them, hand falling on the back of your neck and lifting you upwards. For being "just a kiss" Isaac is putting far more feeling in it than you could have imagined. Especially given the low groan that makes its way through their throat. "Isaac, they're gone." You know they hear you, can feel their lips tighten ever so slightly as if wanting to frown, but Isaac pulls you in again. Their hands slightly shaking as they skim your sides, eventually resting on your hips. You pull back just enough to look at them, the way their eyes lock onto your lips as if that's the only thing they can see. "Not yet." They say, pulling you in for one last kiss, one last languid kiss that they think about for the rest of the night.
🖤 Ardent - "Oh, my goodness Denny! Is this them? This the one your uncle Nik mentioned you been bringing around, oooh aren't they cute." You had every intention of telling Ardent off today, you would be lying if you remembered why you were telling him off, you just remembered being pissed at him when you went to bed. So, surely it was for a good reason. Well, that was until you came across her. Who you assume is Ardent's mothers if her looks were any indication. She practically hangs off Ardent's arm, almost attempting to reach over and pinch your cheeks as she looks between the two of you. "I..I'm not sure what Nik said but I'm not-" Before you could speak another word Ardent yanks you to him, pulling himself away from his mom in the process. "Oh, well darling if you wanted privacy, you should have said so." She quickly smacks him on the back, making her way out the door. But not before inviting you to dinner later that night. "Don't forget to be safe sweetie!" Ardent's mom yells through the hall. Ardent kisses you even harder, as if her words angered him...but something tells you it was quite the opposite in fact. It's a rough kiss, one that leaves your lips sore and teeth slightly red from the way his teeth sink into your lip. "Think she's gone now, Denny. You know if you just wanted out of talking to your mom I could have sent Cam over." "God, do that and I'm raising your rent." He blows a breath, pushing the loose strands of hair from his eyes. "Oh yeah, well for doing that," you point to your lips then to his, "I expect a hell of a lot more than free rent for a month." "Is that right?" He places his arms on each side of you, pressing you flush against the wall. "What were you thinking, trouble?" You don't mind stirring him up, in fact it's become one of your favorite past times, but sometimes Ardent just doesn't back down, no matter how hard you tease him. "Ah...ah, oh coming Cam!" You duck out from under his arm and head toward the door. "Wait, be ready by five, I"ll pick you up." "For?" He doesn't say anything for a moment, instead picking up Cupid and holding her in his arms, honestly the man couldn't look more horrifying. Like a villain with an accomplice, that being Cupid. You don't miss the way his lip curls, the faintest of smiles on his face. "Dinner with the family."
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I'd contribute a tiny bit to the pro-Zutara side when it comes to the idea of Katara in the role of a co-ruler of the Fire Nation.
I understand where the negative arguments are coming from, how it's especially "shocking" if she enters the royal family (one which led the oppressive regime which waged war for 100 years and caused so much devastation);
however, firstly it is really no longer that family. Zuko committed high treason, almost died TRICE for that and still kept steady on that course, rejected his family, the family's terrible ideas about the world and both Ozai and Azula were imprisoned. Nobody supporting the old ways is still there. I don't understand negative arguments which treat Zuko's early background, lineage, political role (which may be incredibly undefined as the entire nation is being restructured, it's fantasy) as a more important factor than him as a person. He treats others with respect after undergoing redemption, he's demonstrably empathetic, he's working on undoing as much damage the Fire Nation has caused as possible, he was ready to die for these things. Secondly, why should a job or a title in a fantasy setting be a more relevant argument than love? If love was real and strong: if there's mutual respect between two people, understanding, cooperation, splitting of tasks, mutual care, communication on how to tackle problems, this is much more important and holds more weight than whether or not a role granting political power is from this or that side.
From what I've seen, the dominant headcanon for Zutara is that it wouldn't be oppressive to her but instead allow her to affect the world. It makes sense, most people want their favourite characters to be happy - AND there's no canonical evidence to suggest that being a co-ruler of the new Fire Nation would be a terrible, oppressive, restrictive position. Sure, there can also be headcanons where duty to other parts of the world might be too heavy and they split Zuko and Katara up, but this is a Tragedy trope and it only exists when there's incredibly strong love between them underneath this. So even this argument ends up supporting zutara.
I think that any arguments that use outside reasons why their relationship would be terrible are in the end much weaker in philosophy, compared to arguments about whether or not there are strong feelings between them. This is fantasy, love is an incredibly powerful force. And audience wants to believe in the power of love.
Now, if you ask me, I'd say I believe two characters absolutely do not need to have an on-screen kiss or anything completely explicit in order to convey that yes, they have deep feelings for each other. Shipping comes down to preferences, many people certainly simply Do Not Vibe with Zuko as a personality or whatever. However, this is a separate thing from what the characters are written as doing, how they are behaving in each other's company and how they treat each other.
So I'd say, if Katara loves Zuko (and vice-versa), then that's fullstop. Anything else is just an obstacle in their way which they'd tackle together.
#zutara#Isn't this hopeful?#Isn't this powerful#wouldn't his redemption arc be so complete that two from opposite sides could be together?#he is worthy of her that's the point#Why shouldn't viewers also project themselves onto Zuko after all? He ends the story as a hero
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Helloo :D
Can you do hcs of what it would be like to be friends w benefits with ellie 🫣
a/n: i been waiting on this one ngl... fwb is like the best and worst trope to me... IM SORRY IM SO SICK IN THE HEAD I LOVE U TOXIC ELLIE... also this is modern!ellie.. if this isn't what u meant then im so sorry and i will rewrite it.. not smut but smutty? AI AUDIOS AT THE END
p,s. i lost this when i finished it cause tumblr is the worst and i had to rewrite it so this is a testament of how much i love you guys and i am so sorry if u hate it
fwb!ellie headcanons
it kind of just happened one night after your friends abandoned you at a party and ellie offered to walk you home
you were always close friends with ellie but had gone to the party with a different friend group
...your straight friend group
and you were touch-starved
and ellie was TOUCH-STARVED
so when your tipsy ass asked ellie if she wanted to come inside with you she couldn't say yes fast enough
if she was being honest she was tipsy too
and high
and the alcohol coursing through both of your systems just amplified every touch
it would start gentle with soft kisses
but quickly pick up pace as you moan into her mouth
she wouldn't even make it to your bedroom, pushing you up against the wall and kneeing you
your moans only cause her to want to feel you, her asking for permission before ever touching you
her hands eagerly undo your belt before snapping the waistband of your panties with her fingers
she dips her fingers into your underwear, quickly rubbing circles into your clit
"shit... i'm barely touching you and you're already soaking wet."
"fuck, ellie."
"fuck, you feel so good... this all for me?"
but promptly after fucking you ellie feels sick to her stomach
it's like the reality that she has now fucked her very close friend, who she has always thought was pretty, hits her all at once
so she's quickly throwing her t-shirt on and frantically looking around your place for her flannel
"you're leaving?"
you break her out of her trance and as she looks at your swollen lips and worried eyes her brain is telling her: run, run, run
if it wasn't clear before ellie has no idea how to deal with her feelings
like at all
all she really knows how to feel is guilt & horniness
"yeah well, this wasn't anything serious... we're just friends, right?"
"right, yeah, i know that. it's just really late and cold. you can take the couch.
"right... thanks."
yes, ellie is disappointed that you weren't disappointed and yes, that's toxic
but you were disappointed and there is no way in hell you would be caught dead admitting that
ellie is gone by the morning
it continues every night for about a month straight
one of you is either calling or texting and ending up in the other's bed night after night
ellie will occasionally spend the night (on your couch) and wake you up for your morning classes
or wake up early and buy you breakfast
she tells herself that since she's not cooking the breakfast it doesn't make it coupley
sometimes you two will go out for dinner beforehand... it's not a date it's what ellie likes to call a 'pre-workout snack'
you two will study together and celebrate your grades on tests by trying new things out with each other
"you got an A-? so i'm getting fucking lucky tonight… hell yea"
soon enough she's leaving every party with you
and waiting by the phone for you to call
and thinking about what you are doing
or what you are wearing
and it's all really nice
until it begins to overwhelm her and suddenly she feels like she can't breathe
she didn't like how everyone began to call you a "couple" or how much it bothered her when you would talk about people you were attracted to
or how she wanted to punch their faces in
so she begins to avoid all your texts and calls and avoids going to every party she's invited to
she doesn't even check your social media anymore
it all comes to a head when she's walking on campus and spots you coming from the opposite direction causing her to immediately turn around
"hey, ellie! what the fuck?"
she turns around, an awkward look on her face and all she manages to say is: "what's up?"
"what's up? what's up is that you've been avoiding me. all my texts and calls. what gives?"
"i'm just over it. it got too... close.. for me. you're not my girlfriend so stop acting like you are!"
the minute it leaves her mouth and she watches your face shift from anger to sadness she feels sick to her stomach
"wait, i didn't mean it l-"
"fuck you, ellie."
she goes home and has to stop herself from throwing up
she has no one to talk to about this because she knows she's being an asshole
to make matters worse all she really wants to do is talk to you about it
and she can't
so she just wallows in her apartment and avoids you as much as she can
until she can't
her heart nearly stops when she receives a call from you in the middle of the night and you're crying on the other end asking her to pick you up
"ellie, i'm so so sorry... i wouldn't do this to you if i didn't have a choice but they all left me and i didn't know who else to call and... i need you."
"sh, it's okay... hold on, baby. i will be right there. everything will be okay."
she blows through a couple of stop signs on the way to get you and her heart breaks at the sight of your tear-stained face
"hey, are you o-"
"please just drive, ellie."
ellie takes you back to your place and you fully expect her to leave but she helps you upstairs, takes off your makeup, and tucks you in
you fully expected her to leave but when you wake up she's there in your kitchen
and she made you breakfast
"ellie, what are you d-"
"hey, you're up. do you think you could sit down, have some eggs, and just listen to what i have to say? can you do that?"
"um, sure?"
she takes a deep breath before starting and you make note of how she avoids eye contact with you
"i'm not good at this… or i thought i wasn't good at it and it scared the shit out of me. my whole world became you and i was looking forward to seeing you, and talking to you, and touching you, and i got so scared that it could all get taken away at any moment. so scared that i just sabotaged the one good thing in my life. i'm so sorry, is there anyway you could forgive me?"
"of course i can, you freak"
ai audios:
#asked & answered#Anonymous#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams smut#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams x reader smut#ellie williams the last of us#ellie williams tlou2#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie williams fanfic#ellie williams fan fic#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams imagine#ellie williams oneshot#modern!ellie williams#college!ellie williams#ellie williams one shot
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𝔻𝕒𝕪 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕥𝕖𝕖𝕟: 𝕌𝕟𝕚𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕞
🥀Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Reader (f)
🥀Genre: Smut
🥀Rating: 18+, Minors Do not Interact
🥀Au: royal, navy, space, sci-fi
🥀Trope: role reversal
🥀Summary: When your first mate successfully enacts a mutiny, you're left with one simple task... to be his cum bucket
🥀Kinks: uniform kink, oral (m), masturbation (f), degradation kink, mean dom! seonghwa, brat sub! reader, spitting, deep throating, choking, thigh slapping, creampie(s), overstim, marking, fingering(f)
🥀Word Count: 1,541
🥀Betas: @mejuii
🥀Day Twelve: Mommy Kink 🥀Mini Masterlist 🥀Day Fourteen: threesome/ritual
Seonghwa strode into the Captain's Quarters, his heels clacking purposely against the polished-with-wear metal. He tossed a long strand of hair out of his face, eyes looking for you. He stood in all his powerful glory before you in the bed. The leather of his outfit creaked despite the gold embroidery. He was clad in such from the tops of his shoulders starting with his long jacket, the corset like adornment along his ribcage, the straps that held the sheath for his sword and guns, and finally the pants and boots, that left nothing to the imagination, to be honest.
You were where he left you, naked and in bed. You had only the stark white sheet hiding your bare skin, but even that seemed to irk the man that used to be your first mate.
The U.S.S Utopia had been your ship, and you, its Captain. You had sailed her all along the Milky Way, plundering and stealing, after the American government fell to the people during a coup d'état. Then Seonghwa, with an evil grin, had convinced the crew to mutiny against you. You loved the Utopia and had pleaded that you would do anything to remain on board and not get plunged into the freezing depths of the dark sea, aka space. Seonghwa gave you one choice: remain as a useful tool, as a cum bucket for him, and he would allow you to stay. You agreed immediately and had remained so for several months now. And he had not tired of you yet.
The now-captain ripped his sheets off your body, eyes searching still for the dried cum on your skin. He seemed enamored with leaving his mark on you, in more ways than one.
“Lover,” he said in a sing-song voice, clueing you in that he was in a cruel mood. “I told you to remain here, in my bed, with my cum on you.”
“I did, Seonghwa!” You insisted.
Seonghwa waved a gloved hand in your vague direction. “I see nothing.”
“I was cold!” You insisted, trying not to look eager. “Perhaps the sheet brushed it off!”
You had washed his cum from your body as soon as he had left the room. You wanted him to come back and punish you. You looked forward to it, in fact.
Seonghwa sighed heavily, undoing his pants. “I don’t know how you ever were in charge of this ship. I’ll just have to repeat my handiwork and then some.”
There was some type of cruel kink for enjoying Seonghwa fucking you in an almost carbon copy of your captain’s outfit made to fit him. You loved the feel of the leather against your bare skin. There was something dirty and cheap about the way that Seonghwa couldn't be bothered to disrobe while he fucked you. You were addicted to being used by your past first mate; you simply could not get enough of it.
“Suck me off,” He said lowly after he had undone his pants just enough for his cock to be pulled out.
You took his soft cock and pulled him into your mouth. You stared up at the cruel captain with wide, eager eyes. You knew everything that he loved--and exactly what set him off. Your tongue curled around his head as blood rushed to his cock, and then he commanded you to touch yourself. You made loud noises of pleasure as you rubbed a finger against your clit and his cock grew in length even faster. Soon you were able to bob up and down him, hollowing your cheeks so that he could feel all of you.
Simply put, Seonghwa just wished to order you around. You had spent most of your career belittling him and his self-worth. So now that he was captain, he took every chance to return the favor. It never made him feel less than the whimpering second in command he always saw himself as, but still he pushed forward.
Seonghwa’s fingers floated over your head, a pretend-softness before he grabbed your hair harshly. When he pulled you off his cock, you kept your tongue out of your mouth and he spit onto it. Then he shoved you back on his cock, practically face fucking you. He wanted to see those tears form in your eyes and hear the chokes as you barely managed his length in your mouth and down your throat.
“You love sucking my cock, don’t you, you pathetic whore,” Seonghwa spat. “Always eager to have a dick in any hole you can get.”
Case and point, you pushed a finger inside of yourself, moaning loudly. That made anger burn in Seonghwa’s dark eyes. “I didn’t say to fill yourself, did I?”
Seonghwa pulled you off his length again, and you began to protest. “Seonghwa!”
“That’s Captain to you!” He snarled, and your mouth snapped shut.
He began to pace in front of the bed, brewing up a plot. How did he want you now? How did he want to cover you with his cum? There were so many options but he knew he needed to walk the ship again later, to keep an eye on his crew that had been so easily swayed to mutiny against you.
“Captain, please,” you begged. “I’ve been good.”
“Puh-lease, you don’t know the meaning of good,” Seonghwa spat his words. He pulled at his corset, and you saw your way in.
“Doesn’t fit you as well, does it, Seonghwa? Too snug at your ribcage or too small for your waist?”
“I wear this outfit better than you ever did,” Seonghwa roared, eyes like coals in his head.
Seonghwa made you ride his cock while he laid down on his bed, fully clothed of course; made you stare at him in your old captain’s outfit tailored to fit his body. He commanded you to speak of how he is a better captain than you and if you were interrupted by a sharp thrust of his upwards, you got a slap on your thigh with his leather glove. And when he came inside you, he held you down on his cock, a cry leaving his plush lips. Only once all of his cum had been pumped in you, did he allow you to raise yourself up, watching as his cum clung to his cock and poured out your cunt.
But that wasn't enough for Seonghwa, oh no, he wanted more.
He painted your body with bruises and cum, never tiring of abusing your body and seeing the stars light up in your eyes as he did. Because make no mistake, he was well aware that you loved to provoke him and what followed. But he was too drunk on his power, too drunk on you, to stop himself from giving you exactly what you wanted.
Seonghwa fucked you against the headboard, gloved hands wrapped around your throat, chest peeking above the corset, looking like a debauched pirate captain that ever sailed the Milky Way. His evil grin was apparent, eyes traveling all over your face as you made choked noises.
He released your throat, but you only whined, moving his hands back. “Please, Seonghwa, more,” you said with a raspy voice.
“Such a slut for me, aren't you, lover?” Seonghwa grinned in triumph.
“Yes, Captain,” You agreed, rocking your hips eagerly forward.
Seonghwa squeezed his hands around your throat again. He gauged by your face how close you were to your climax, and when he let sweet air invade your lungs again, you came so hard for him that your eyes rolled into the back of your head.
You were drowning in pleasure and still, you groaned about him making a further mess of your pussy. Seonghwa looked you straight in the eyes and fucked you through your orgasm. He drank in every scrunch of your nose and whine about it being too much (it was everything you wanted), until he came inside of you again. You both felt his cum slip out of your hole as he fucked your cunt, following his pleasure. There simply wasn’t enough room for all his cum and yet still he continued to unload into you.
“You exist to be my cum bucket, lover, and don’t you forget it,” Seonghwa whispered into your ear.
Later, when you were passed out in his bed and only the lights of the stars left to reveal all the ways you belonged to him, Seonghwa admired his handiwork. His cum was all over your body, marks of his teeth and hands painted on your skin. And still it wasn't enough. You had screamed his name hoarse, sounding bittersweet from your lips, red after the blowjobs and biting. But it never erased your jeering face of old from his memory.
So he pushed his hands between your legs and patted your cunt. Your body jolted and you groaned as you woke up. Seonghwa's lithe fingers played with your pussy, still wet with desire and his seed. And after everything he put you through, you reached between your legs and pressed his fingers further into your body.
Seonghwa smiled, the first one of pure glee rather than cruelty. You were programmed to be greedy for him, and that was enough.
🥀Day Twelve: Mommy Kink 🥀Mini Masterlist 🥀Day Fourteen: threesome/ritual
#fryejoongfff24#pirateeznet#cultofdionysusnet#kwritersworldnet#kvanity#ateez smut#park seonghwa smut#atz smut#topaz's work#ღatz#seonghwa smut#park seonghwa x reader
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Okay I know I promised a rant, but it came out like a bunch of bullet points instead, so sorry.
The time skip was entirely unnecessary and makes the job of writing a finale harder
Having the umbrellas split up again undoes all of the character development up to this point
The relationships between the siblings have changed in the interim and needs to be explained through clunky expositional dialog
Why is there no learning curve after six years of not having powers?
There is no reason to include children and it actually works to the season's detriment
The children are non-entities and only exist to motivate Diego and Lila, just like Claire in season 1
The entirety of season 3 was just a testament to how bad at parenting Diego and Lila would be
Watching Diego and Lila bicker about domestic disputes is just boomer humor at this point
Your target audience of queer people do not want to see the people they're supposed to root for abandoning their children
It would have been both entertaining and entirely in character to keep the Diego/Lila dispute to suspected infidelity
Lila moonlights as a FBI agent but Diego thinks she's cheating so he goes through all the woman scorned tropes
This way it subverts the trope and gives us more opportunities to see duplicitous Lila and himbo Diego
I really thought Nick Offerman and Megan Mullaly would bring the energy, but no
I've never seen three hilarious people be so unfunny in my life
I cannot take David Cross seriously as a villain. He is so unthreatening.
Luther is the only one allowed to keep his character development and I just kinda wish they let him keep his wife
Allison is back to being an unrepentant bitch and does not earn the family's trust back
With a title like "the unbearable tragedy of getting what you want", I thought the episode would follow Allison trying to feel like she deserves to enjoy her life with Claire and Ray while dealing with the guilt of selling out her siblings
Considering that her entire season 3 arc was backsliding
But what it actually meant was okay I guess we'll never know
I heard a rumor??? Allison I think I heard a rumor about this guy?
Can we please give Klaus a break
Klaus can now clip into pushing daisies episodes
Klaus is trying to escape from his Angel Dust prison
Five looks like he's twelve
I'm always going to be suspicious of a showrunner that's trying to manufacture situations in which infidelity/incest is okay
Can we please give Viktor something to do
I do not blame him for fucking off to the middle of nowhere
Emmy for Elliot for depicting transmasc rageyt665ikju
I wish elliot would remove my marigold
Viktor has the power every autist secretly wants: to rule the fucking universe
Viktor between you and me I don't think this family is worth saving
Idk if Ben's arc is racist but it sure don't feel right
It's fuckin SHORTER. Why does it feel LONGER.
The no volume balancing is really fucking annoying
It would have been interesting to see hargreeves interacting with more than just one sibling at a time per season
Is being in your family like being stuck in a constant apocalyptic nightmare? You might just be transgender
#umbrella academy#tua s4 spoilers#tua s4#viktor hargreeves#allison hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#luther hargreeves#diego hargreeves#lila pitts#steve blackman#eat a dick
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Zelda and the Tale of Melusine
I'll be looking at the parallels between Zelda's arc and some Medieval tropes of female metamorphosis, using Melusine: Or the Noble History of Lusignan as an example. Specificially a translated copy of Jean d'Arras's version, since that's the most well known one.
To start, a run down of Melusine:
She's a half human, half fairy woman cursed by her mother for imprisoning her mortal father in a mountain. The curse dictates every Saturday she turns into a serpent from the naval down. She must marry a human man for a long time to slowly undo the curse and become fully human, but he must never see her monstrous form beforehand.
If he does, she'll lose her humanity forever and transform into a dragon.
She meets a knight in the woods, he suspects her otherworldly knowledge comes from "some phantasm or diabolical power", to which she goes don't worry about it kitten. But he likes her so he's like ok! ^_^ yay!
She keeps giving him cool fairy advice, and with it his life magically becomes a whole lot better - he gains wealth, power, and not just him but other people listen to her advice: crops flourish, castles are built. The kingdom is thriving! They love her just as much as he does, so it's no surprise they get married. But there's just one condition, she hides in the bathhouse every Saturday, and he's never to visit or peep at her.
He breaks his promise and discovers her secret. She says he's cursed both of them, and now he's lost her forever: "Be sure that as long as you live I shall always find pleasure in seeing you; but [...] never again shall you see me in female form."
The next passage is as follows:
'Melusine, uttering a very doleful cry and then a heavy sigh, leapt from the window into the void, and as she swept across the orchards she metamorphosed into a massive dragon some fifteen feet in length. [...] In her dragon form she circled the fortress three times, and each time she flew past the window she uttered such an excruciating, desolate cry that everyone wept for pity, knowing that she was leaving under constraint and against her will. Then she disappeared in the direction of Lusignan, letting out such rueful shrieking and strident cries that wherever she passed it seemed as if lightning and thunder were about to split the sky.'
He never sees her again after that. But phantoms of her start appearing in the castle, secretly visiting her children at night and generally just spooking people by standing there menacingly. And that's how the myth is born.
I've already drawn connections through the images above, but what's the point of this?
Like lots of other fans I was irked by the whole 'zelda jesus' thing in totk, yeah it is a little odd that everyone follows her advice without question, and it's never wrong.
I'm curious, if the team was drawing from Western myths, that this was supposed to echo the fae. Especially since most of the quests keep you on your toes on whether this was the real Zelda giving advice, or a fake - a phantom(!) - deliberately sabotaging them. It mirrors how opinions on Melusine were split between a benevolent fae or a demon. Splitting them into two entities though, I can see how that would defang it.
The og text wasn't exactly that nuanced either. I remember my prof joking the message amounted to "always listen to your weird snake wife!" Maybe we SHOULD listen to our weird snake wives.
It's interesting Melusine only interacts with children after the curse - botw+totk imply only young children who are pure of heart can see dragons.
I recommend reading the whole thing if you can find it! Then you can look for more parallels, and read riveting pieces of dialogue such as this:
#totk#totk zelda#legend of zelda#tloz#tears of the kingdom#loz#totk thoughts#tloz totk#zelda tears of the kingdom#totk spoilers#light dragon#totk light dragon#botw dragon#totk dragon#totk theory#zelda theory#melusine#that's why i named my golden horse melusine#also i find it ironic this medieval text gives its woman more agency than totk zelda ever got :') where did we go wrong#carrot rambles
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ruby i need help writing sexy smut please
Okay! This one might be long, so buckle up:
(also, this is just my personal preference and how I approach smut)
I like to separate smut into two categories: the emotionally charged one and the more technical/physical one.
Ideally, you'd want around 50/50 of each, but that will always depend on what you're trying to achieve.
Example:
- When I write oneshots, I tend to go for the physicality of it as I'm usually exploring tropes/kinks in under 3k words. I will describe what's going on with their bodies and how they explore each other physically and react to thos (possibly) new kink. This is not to say my oneshots are void of emotions from whichever character's POV I choose. I still dive briefly into their emotions as a means to contextualise the scene and set the pace. I'd say it's around 80/20.
- For longfics (such as The Arrangement), it's paramount that I prioritise emotions and feelings while pairing it with the act itself. Since I'm writing from Tav's POV, it's important to show readers how she feels about them being together so intimately again. And I don't mean how she feels about having his fingers inside her, for example, but rather how the entire moment feels. It's about exploring body and mind, if you will. I try to keep it at 50/50, but it depends on the context of the scene itself.
Now, with that out of the way: more is more. Describe everything that feels appropriate. Sure, if you just mean to rush through the scene, there is no need and no one will dislike it for it. But if you want that added layer of emersion (which, to me, is essential) then you should try to describe the act itself.
Case in point:
- He undid your shirt and gazed at the exposed skin.
vs
- His fingers moved to the top button of your shirt, undoing it slowly as his hand travelled down your torso, working on exposing your flushed skin to his prying gaze with each expert tug.
See the difference? Which one do you enjoy the most? The first example can be used. This is not right vs wrong. I am simply showing how more is more when it comes to smut. Again it will always depend on what you're trying to achieve and how comfortable you feel. Some people just want to rush through the smut scenes.
Hope this helps 🩷
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Can we please get rid of the idea that a “strong” woman with an effeminate guy is automatically a subversive and progressive relationship?
Look, I know this take comes from people whose only relationship experience is from fandom tropes and TikTok memes, but it’s frustrating. It’s frustrating to me because I am that woman, and even if it physically “looks” subversive, it often actually isn’t.
Just for context here, I’m speaking from my experience as the kind of woman I am. I’m tall; I’m 5’10”. I have a muscular build. I’m highly educated. I actually used to like the idea of being taller than a male partner, earn more, be the provider, etc. It felt empowering to me, so like a lot of you, I became interested in that idea when I thought about relationships with men. I always hated the “woman role” forced on me and I thought my stature would help me escape it by switching roles.
However, actual experience made it seem a lot less empowering. Because here’s the reality.
Despite what they say, men don’t like it when their wives/girlfriends are taller, or earn more. It makes them feel emasculated. You might notice this immediately, or it might take months for the mask to come off, for him to start acting insecure. But he will. And who will he take it out on? That’s right: you.
Sure, it will be “my girl acts like a booktok boyfriend I love her!” and “my wife is the coolest ever I love her!” at first, but in reality? There will always be some lingering insecurity. He’ll expect you to hold his hand and reassure him that he’s still a man to you and that you respect him constantly.
And that brings me to my next point—these relationships really aren’t as subversive as they seem. Sure, he puts on nail polish and flower crowns. But does he do the dishes? Does he help out around the house? Sure, he gushes about how “cool” you are. But does he support you emotionally the same way you support him? Can you truly be yourself with him, or do you find that you repress and downplay your feelings to protect his?
The unfortunate reality is, there is simply always going to be an unequal dynamic. It’s been instilled into us by thousands of years of patriarchy. You can’t undo that with some fandom tropes. It’s like painting over water damage instead of fixing the broken pipe. The fact remains that as a woman, no matter how physically strong you are, no matter how tall, and no matter how successful, that “progressive” man will still always see you as the woman. His woman. He’ll happily enjoy the benefits of your paycheck while still expecting you to do the majority of the work around the house. He’ll happily “let” you be strong because it also means you’re spending your energy coddling him emotionally. This isn’t subversive or beneficial for women.
There is, of course, an exception. Men who have fetishes—which to be clear, it is never a compliment to be someone’s fetish. I’ve experienced this as well. It’s dehumanizing. You become an object. Even a man who claims to “worship” you in the name of his fetish really isn’t worshipping you—he’s worshipping the gratification he’s using you for. Gratification which comes from the humiliation of being subservient to a woman, because to them, women are weak and inferior so therefore being the servant of one is the greatest humiliation imaginable.
So yes, I’m really sick of seeing posts glorifying these dynamics, because it’s obvious they’re either coming from people who have no experience with them or from fetishists. I don’t care if he wears a flower crown. I don’t care if he’s shorter and cowers behind his #girlboss wife while she epically stands up for him. It’s cheap faux progress and reminds me of how isolated and neglected you feel when you actually have to be that woman.
If you really want to be subversive, as a man, try actually treating your girlfriend as an equal instead of putting her on a pedestal. Try actually asking her what she wants and needs from you instead of assuming. Try sharing responsibilities with her like a partner instead of a grown child. Try defending her with the same passion she does you. Be just as strong for her as she is for you. Stand up for her against other men. Challenge other men. Learn about what she cares about and values. Focus on what you can do for her. Engage with her hobbies. Treat her like a human being and not a trope.
Now that would be an actually subversive heterosexual relationship for a strong woman to be in.
#fandom salt reminded me of this but it’s true everywhere#feminism#personal#yes it is also:#zutara#anti kataang#sorry theres a reason for my preferences#strong women want strong partners#not a partner who idolizes you like a child idolizes a parent
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The role of women in criticising men for their moral failings in the name of “strength” is increasingly prevalent in this week’s episode of HotD:
Rhaenyra & the Black Council:
We start with Ser Alfred continuing to undermine Rhaenyra during a council meeting. While speaking about Rhaenyra in the same condescending way he usually does, he says, “It is merely that the gentler sex, heretofore, has not been much privy to the strategies of battle, or their execution.” Rhaenyra has to then remind him and her council of men about their shared inexperience with battle: “There has been peace in our lifetime. You've seen no more battles than I have.”
As Rhaenyra says to Mysaria, her small council speaks “around” her, not “to” her. Mysaria points out that by dismissing Rhaenyra because they view her as a “gentle” woman, it reveals how the men “betray their own smallness”.
This idea that women are “gentle” and therefore, weak ties to when Rhaenyra said, “there are those who have mistaken my caution for weakness. Let that be their undoing.”
Alicent & the Green Council:
Like Rhaenyra, Alicent isn’t taken seriously by the men around her. She urges the small council to choose her over Aemond as regent because Aemond’s “lack of restraint” has “cost [them] dearly”. Out of the men at the council, only one of them supports her. This happens to be the most knowledgeable member of the council - Maester Orwyle. He backs Alicents reasoning, “It is experience that offers the surest path to security. Queen Alicent ably shouldered the duties of the realm when her husband's health failed him.” The rest of the council refuse her case based on the fact that she’s a woman. Again, the idea of “strength” is used to justify the actions of men. The council asserts that this is “a time when [they] must show strength.”
This ties back to Alicent’s words to her father: “Reluctance to murder is not a weakness!" Another example of the narrow definition of “strength” that is imposed by men.
Later, we see Alicent warning Cole of the dangers that this rigid adherence to “strength” will lead to: “You know what [Aemond] is... what of justice, of temperance? Or is strength now to be our only god? So you cast me aside.” Of course, Cole justifies his dismissal of Alicent because he views her as a gentle woman that needs to be “spared”.
Daemon: Alys & Laena
Daemon attempts to justify his crimes by stating, “war is a terrible thing.” Alys corrects him, “This is not war. These are crimes against the innocent…And once again, in the name of power, it's the weak and the women who must endure.” In response, Daemon argues that the people, “look to a man for strength.” Here we see that he views the idea of strength as equivalent to masculinity.
Ultimately, this show of “strength” back-fires on him when his victims denounce him as a “tyrant”. It’s in this scene where Laena’s ghost asks him, “Have you looked after our girls?” Her ghost is used to haunt Daemon over his past mistakes. His desire for strength and power have led to many unintended failures.
Aemond & Helaena:
While staring at the Iron Throne - a prize he secured as a result of relentless scheming - Helaena asks him, “Was it worth the price?”
Similar to Laena, Helaena’s role is to haunt Aemond. This follows the overused trope that women serve as moral compasses for men.
Rhaenyra & Jace:
Jace is restless and goes against his mother’s wishes. He is eager to take his dragon and fight leading Rhaenyra to remind her son that Luke was killed by Vhagar and Aemond.
Rhaenyra shoulders a great burden. She is expected to be “always prudent” while the men around her rush to war.
Final Thoughts:
It’s clear that the writers are trying to portray the women as “prudent”, wise and “cautious” while characterising the men as power hungry, reckless and driven by a narrow notion of “strength”. Clearly, the writers are using gendered tropes. This dynamic is not a novel one. And these ideas are not complex.
However, it is important in adding depth to a character like Rhaenyra who was dismissed as “cruel” in the books.
Usually, gendered tropes attract criticism because they tend to reinforce the existing gender order. Although I’m not applying that specific criticism to this case, I do think that the heavy reliance on the idea that women’s voices should hold men accountable for their actions feels overused.
#word vomit#I just had to get this out there#house of the dragon#hotd season 2#hotd#hotd spoilers#rhaenyra targaryen#aemond targaryen#helaena targaryen#daemon targaryen#laena velaryon#alys rivers#jacaerys velaryon#alicent hightower#rhaenyra x alicent#criston cole
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okay too-earnest longpost about erotica below the cut. everyone look away
this has definitely been said before i just needed to articulate my thoughts on it but. the operative fantasy of a huge percentage of explicit fic isn’t falling in love, or specific kinks, it’s “a novel sexual experience, that I don’t have to negotiate or ask for, that completely turns my brain off (and kinks on/undoes my deep-seated psychological issues) in a way I didn’t previously know I needed.” from my limited experience with romance novels there’s some overlap but some stuff here feels specific to fic. and obviously this is a huge generalization, caveat that it applies /in general/ to the more popular fics in the mostly-genre fiction fandoms ive been part of in the last ten years, etc etc. Okay.
there’s a lot I could raise as examples here but one is this specific ofmd fic (for all ofmd created one of the most embarrassing fandoms ever it also brought some of the most talented and deranged fic writers out of the woodwork). in it, Izzy Hands, mr. pain kink dogmotif himself, stops pining for his boss Ed to care about him long enough to have mindbogglingly unsafe sex with a certain pirate from a different tv show, which makes ed crazy enough to give izzy what he actually wanted. and I have no actionable desire to be kept at knifepoint and bitten bloody but this fic is still blisteringly hot because 1) it’s a fantasy of someone immediately and unspokenly clocking what gets you off (in a way nobody, maybe even you, has before) and 2) it gets at izzy’s issues re: nobody liking him enough to claim him and the fact that he desires pain as a proxy for that kind of claiming
and I feel like this is why the “it was nothing like kissing a woman—women were Soft and Feminine while kissing Guy McMan was like Sandpaper and Whiskey” thing that we all make fun of now was an extant trope — it’s the misogyny, yes, but it’s also the novelty, the “i never knew I wanted this before but knowing that I want it has fixed me.” as a supernatural fandom scholar I can use the fandom popularity of rhonda hurley’s, uh, contribution to dean winchester’s psyche as another example here. and as a throuple scholar this is also the power behind leverage’s Hardison/Parker/for-the-first-time Eliot fic, and challengers “any two of us are at each others’ throats but add the third and for the first time I feel completely understood” fic. novelty! someone knowing you in a way you don’t have to ask for or explain to them! with your dick out!
and the second part of the phrase, “a novel sexual experience that kinks on/undoes your psychological issues” is also a big part of the fantasy, like. this is why it’s fun for people to start a new piece of media and point a “praise kink” beam at the guy who’s never felt good enough, or hit characters who grew up under oppressive institutional authority with hammers the cat o’nine tails.
and marinating in this soup does funny things to your sexual development. as a longtime fic reader you might not end up with a forcefem kink but instead a “watching The Character realizing they have a forcefem kink” kink. I don’t have a thing for pain, I have a thing for “being in someone else’s brain as they experience pain as sexual for the first time and get an endorphin high.” much different disorders that can come from getting your sex ed from worse places than extremely online writers but disorders nonetheless
#if this is a case of ‘author is having a very specific experience that they think is universal’ let me know lmao#my posts
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