#it's a shame that this probably won't get localized

[aparticularbandit]

...what.

[exhaslo]

Corruption Ch3

(Villain!Miguel x F!Hero!Reader)

Ch1, Ch2

Warning: Minors DNI, smut, mentions of sex, violence, blood, murder, twisted thoughts, experimentation, language, wannabe fluff, established friendship?

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Four months, twenty days until D-Day

Finally, it took you ten full days to understand your abilities and make your suit. It did feel somewhat shameful by how much of a struggle it was to get everything ready. You had to rely on a close friend to make your suit and beg them to not say anything.

You were finally going to start your life as a super hero. Your secret identity had to be top secret. Mainly, because you were afraid of how Miguel would react if he saw you. You loved the man, but you were terrified of his villainous nature.

"Alright, suit is kind of tight, but it will have to work." You whispered, staring at yourself in the mirror.

The suit was tight against your skin, showing off each of your curves, breasts and ass. It almost felt sexual, but what heroes in the past wore baggy suits? Unsure if you wanted to do that research, you knew that you needed something that won't get your snagged on a flag or something.

Patting down your skirt, you glanced at the zipper you had custom made in case for an emergency bathroom visit. Honestly, it made you chuckle since you thought of such a thing. Miguel would probably laugh at you if he ever found out.

"Alright, now for the scary part." You inhaled deeply.

Opening your window, you took deep breathes. You were terrified, but without this leap of faith, how were you ever going to bring Alchemax to justice? How were you going to show Miguel the light in his heart?

"I can do this." You whispered before shooting your web and swinging into the city.

----------

Miguel hissed lowly as he sat in his apartment. There were a million things going through his head. One of them being how to perfect his spider genetic splicing DNA. He wanted to create the ultimate human. The superior human race.

Unable to think in the comfort of his own home, Miguel decided to take a walk around the city. He did need to buy a few things anyway. As he left his penthouse, Miguel grumbled lowly as he avoided the people around him.

How disgusting. All of these regular humans trying to smile and cozy up to Miguel. None of them had what it takes to be at his level. Unless they were willing to place themselves on his metal table for experimentation.

"Miguel, you won't believe this." Lyla appeared on his watch. Miguel lazily glanced towards his AI,

"Won't know until you say it."

"There are reports of a Spider-woman swinging across the city. People are in shock and whispering that the age of heroes might be making a comeback." She explained. Miguel scoffed,

"I'll believe it when I see it. Don't bother me with such nonsense."

Age of heroes his ass. Miguel knew better than to believe that such a time would revive. As he made his way into his local well-off supermarket, Miguel couldn't help but wonder why such reports would come to be.

A spider-women none the less. Miguel hadn't experimented on any women yet and everyone he did had perished. As he grabbed a cart, Miguel hissed to his ignorant thoughts. He shouldn't allow his genius brain subcome to such foolishness.

"Ah!!!" Someone screamed.

With a heavy roll of his eyes, Miguel glanced behind him. His eyes twitched as he saw a fire break out. Just his luck. Making his way to the checkout, Miguel ignored the people's screams, continuing his purchase.

"Sir! You need to leave! It's dangerous!" One of the workers yelled. Miguel just ignored them,

"Dangerous?" Miguel resisted a chuckle as he finished his purchase.

Right as he left, there was an explosion. His eyes widen as he felt the wind push him down. Surprised, Miguel let out a soft groan as he slowly got up. As he did, Miguel felt another wave push him back down.

"I got you!" A woman yelled out.

Furrowing his brows, Miguel saw someone approach him. He grunted, feeling himself being lifted up. Which was quite a surprise since Miguel was a tall and heavy man. Glancing towards the brave fool who came to his rescue, Miguel's eyes widen in shook.

"Spider-woman?!" He nearly gasped in shock. You smiled softly towards him,

"The one and only!" You chirped.

Miguel felt nearly flabbergasted as he observed you. The one thing he had been trying to recreate was right in front of him. There was a surge of emotions coursing through his body.

"Are you alright?" You asked, patting Miguel off as you escaped the building with him.

"Allow me to have a blood sample," Was the first thing Miguel said. You flinched, taking a step back,

"Haha, that's a....uh, unusual request, but I'll have to decline." You said, trying to hide your nerves. Miguel grabbed your shoulders,

"You don't understand. I've been trying to create someone like you for years. Please, I need to know how-"

"Perhaps if we bump into each other at another time, I can give you an answer, but I really must go. Take care of yourself and don't get hurt, okay?"

Miguel reached out to you once more as you swung away. The look in his eyes were one of desperation and frustration. How were you here? How did he not notice such a fine, perfect specimen in his city? This whole place belonged to him....

Including you.

Grabbing his items, Miguel hurried back to his penthouse. He needed to research on you. Miguel needed to find out more about you. Miguel needed you in his lab!

----------

Finding a good building to land on, you let out a small squeal. You had been swinging around doing little things here and there and finally, finally, you managed to do something heroic. Best of all, you had saved Miguel.

Trying to cover the blush on your cheeks, you recalled the warmth of his body pressed against yours. The look on his face was something else too. You've never seen him so shock, so amazed. If only he looked at you like that and not Spider-Woman.

"Mhm, but he just had to ask for a blood sample. I almost gave in too! I have to be careful!" You whined.

Sitting at the edge of the building, you glanced down at the messy, beautiful city below. You were going to have to get better at Super Hero stuff if you wanted to make any real change.

That, and you would have to control your emotions better if you ever wanted to change and heal Miguel. He was far too talented and smart to fall down the same fate as his father.

"I will save him."

----------

Miguel was on a man hunt. He had gotten Lyla to pull up anything on this new Spider-Woman, despite there not being much. He had to know who you were and where you came from.

Unable to retrieve much, Miguel decided to do things the hard way. He pulled up every single file on women who lived within or near the city. Miguel was determined to know who you were. Even if he had to do things the long and hard way.

"Let's see. Judging by her body, she is defiantly within the age ground of twenties to thirties. Let's start removing everyone else."

"Yes, sir." Lyla replied, shorting the age gap.

Miguel grunted since the list was still quite large. At least, whoever you were, you didn't cover your hair. Just a cute little mask that covered the top half of your face. Narrowing the list shorter, Miguel just inhaled since it was still a hefty list.

"Is speed dating out of the question?" Lyla asked with a grin. Miguel let out a rare laugh,

"Highly."

Wondering how to approach this, Miguel started to pace around his living room. He needed you. He wanted you. You were the key to creating the ultimate human race. If Miguel couldn't find you naturally, then he would have to make you come to him.

"I will make her mine."

----------

It was going to be another rough day at work. You had entered Alchemax with two large coffees in hand. Clocking in, you let out a heavy sigh as you made your way to Miguel's office. He had been blowing up your phone all morning.

"Miguel, could you maybe now tell me what's going on?" You asked softly as you opened his door.

"(Y/N), finally! We have a BIG day ahead of us!"

"We do?" You questioned as Miguel approached you, taking his coffee out of your hand, "Ah-Are we doing the seahorses?" You asked innocently.

"Ha!" Miguel chuckled darkly as he patted your head, "What am I to do without your blissful innocence."

"Awe, are we going back to spiders?"

"Always." Miguel hummed as he drank his coffee, "Have you heard about the new Spider-Woman in town?"

You felt a nervous sweat run down your back.

"I-I have! Was that...not your doing?" You asked, knowing that it sort of was, but Miguel didn't need to know that.

"No, and that's what infuriates me." He spat, placing his drink down, "I need to know how she came to be. I will not be stopping my spider experiments anytime soon. Not until she submits herself to me, or I recreate her very existence."

"Miguel...You can't have someone submit themselves to you like a trophy. You'd have to understand them...and honestly, if she really is a hero...I don't think...she will like...what you're...doing...here." Your voice kept getting lower and lower as Miguel slowly approached you.

"(Y/N), do you think what I'm doing here is wrong? Trying to advance us measly humans into something greater?" Miguel asked, twisting his views into yours. You bit your lower lip, holding your tablet close to your chest,

"N-No...I-I think the idea...is right..."

"Oh, (Y/N), try not to think too much, okay?" Miguel hummed as he casually stroked your cheek, "Remember, our work here will be one for the history books."

You tried your best to calm your racing heart as you leaned into Miguel's touch. How could such cruel words come out through his sexy mouth. His low tone just made your brain fuzzy. And his touch? Oh, you were feeling that down to your panties.

"Okay," You whispered, giving into his demands, "What will we start with today?"

It was going to be a long road, but if you couldn't change Miguel as you, perhaps you had to change him as Spider-Woman. Maybe, just maybe, Miguel will listen to you with the mask on. It was a slim chance, but you wanted to save him so bad.

"While I start collecting more spiders, I want you to find me more willing test subjects."

"B-But Miguel, y-you know...how I feel about going to the prisons." You whimpered, tugging against his sleeve. Miguel just chuckled, lifting your chin and leaned towards you,

"You can do it." He hummed and saw the tears about to spill from yours eyes, "I'll have Lyla accompany you. Does that help?"

"I guess," You whimpered once more. Miguel let out a heavy sigh as he had Lyla downloaded to your watch.

"Off you go. I want you to be back to file down each of my spiders."

"Yes, sir."

Shaking as you hurried out of Miguel's office, you tried to calm down. Miguel was being extra touchy today...and cruel. The only good thing about you leaving was that you could finally see the prisoners in a new light. As a hero, you needed to learn what villains think like...aside from Miguel.

"Are you ready to go, (Y/N)?" Lyla asked, appearing before you. You just smiled towards the AI,

"Yep! Let's go!"

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Next Chapter

@tojishugetiddies @miguelsfavwife @foulsharkheart @club-danger-zone @ivkygirly @jollystrawberrycycle @amber-content @weirdothatwritess @smartyren @mangoslushcrush @nyxzoldyck6 @migueloharastruelove @chaoticlovingdreamer @sukioyakio @killjoy-nightshadow @heyohalie @the-pan-liquid @bokutosprettylittlebimbo @kpopscoups17130000 @pochapo @killerwendigo @barbiecrocs

[pathetichimbos]

How would tommy be like during sex? rough or soft mb in between?

I have many thoughts. So many. I don't really mention a gender but the pp goes into something. what you decide that is is between you and god

Well, to start it off, we all know Thomas is a big man. 6'5, wide set shoulders, big tummy and just all around a big stature.

He's naturally strong from growing up on a farm and working at the slaughterhouse, especially given that he walks back and forth a lot.

And he knows it.

This is something I could write a whole essay on, but I'll keep it short for the sake of this post and it's primary objective: A lot of people think Thomas is unaware. They think he doesn't understand basic things, like in The Beginning, after the slaughterhouse is shut down and Jess has to kick Thomas out, resorting to insulting him after Thomas won't leave, a lot of people assume it's because his mind can't grasp the fact that it's shut down, but it just isn't true. Thomas is very aware, and he's a very intelligent man. No, he may not be able to read all that well, and math confuses and frustrates him, but he's not an idiot.

All this to say that Thomas isn't this dumb jock that doesn't understand his own strength, he's very aware of how strong he is. He's spent his entire life on a farm, and if you've ever spent a lot of time around animals, you know that you have to know how to control yourself and your strength to protect the animals and yourself from getting hurt.

He's a gentle man, with a kind heart. And this carries over to sex, with several other factors as well.

See, the thing is, considering the time frame and everything, it's safe to assume Thomas never got the sex talk. He knows that sex happens between two people, he knows that babies come from sex, and he knows that it's sinful to have sex outside of marriage, but that's really it. He has no other frame of reference.

Considering this, and his own self repulsion due to his skin disease and seclusion from his peers, I honestly believe that Thomas is probably pseudo-asexual.

I say pseudo because I don't think Thomas is actually asexual. I think he has those urges and thoughts, but pushed them away in his own form of repulsion due to his self hatred and the shameful aspect his mother projected onto him.

It's very likely that Thomas does in fact have sexual feelings, and most of his "experience", if you could call it that, probably came from media. When someone of particular attractiveness came on the TV, like the local weather woman, or the sultry voice of the unseen radio man crackled through, it gave him an itch he couldn't scratch.

He would feel ashamed at these thoughts, because not only was the feeling such a sinful act in his mind, but he also believed he was too worthless to deserve anything like that. After all, those feelings are reserved for people who are married and love each other, and he doesn't believe he can ever be one of those people.

At some point or another it gets to be too much though, and he eventually caves and starts taking matters into his own hands, but the guilt and shame that comes afterwards makes it a very rare occasion.

So, given all this, we can finally move onto answer the original question of how Thomas is during sex.

Given that Thomas doesn't really know what sex is, he doesn't ever make any moves himself. He doesn't know how, all he knows is that sex is meant for marriage.

But as the two of you date and become closer, it gets harder and harder to avoid the topic. Sure, he's been attracted to the people on TV and in the magazines, but this is different. You're really real, and you're really here, and you really like him too. All of those shameful feelings he's spent his life trying to push away rush to the surface everytime you touch him in any intimate way.

But he won't change his mind on waiting until marriage, he has way too many pent up issues to get past that. The two of you fool around, sure, (which leads to you realizing just how little he really knows, and to talking him about it all), but that never really moves past desperate, through the clothes humping, and the occasion wandering hands when that just isn't enough.

When that time finally comes, though, he's riddled with anxiety.

It takes a lot of soft words and easing before it actually happens.

He stays still for a long time after he first bottoms out, and he's trying not to hold you too tightly. He's overwhelmed with the emotions running through him, and you can feel his tears from where his face is buried in your shoulder.

When he finally does move, it's awkward, and bumpy, and there's no real rhythm. He's just desperately moving, holding you tightly. He's very loud, moaning and whining against you. He finishes way too quickly to give you a chance, but he's got a lifetime to make up for, so it definitely doesn't end there.

Skipping ahead a bit, Thomas gets a lot more comfortable (and better) with sex. I think overall, he prefers the slow and lazy. He doesn't like to rush things, he prefers taking your time and enjoying it.

But, he's honestly pretty moldable. He forms into whatever you prefer, he just enjoys being with you more than anything. He'll be as rough or as soft as you'd like, you just have to direct him on what to do.

Anyways, now that we've taken six detours, it looks like we've finally reached our destination. I hope y'all enjoyed, and feel free to send in more asks like this.

Thank you <33

[phagodyke]

ok moment over its all good

oh who am I fucking kidding. I'm not gonna go am I.

[amnesique]

jealous, jealous, jealous boy — xavier thorpe x reader x tyler galpin

part 1

pairing : xavier thorpe x reader x tyler galpin

summary : less than a week after you slept with tyler to get revenge on xavier, your ex, he finds out about it and comes after you to ask you for explanations, as if you were obliged to give them to him.

warnings : mentions of sex, mature language, angst, slut-shaming, name calling

"you won't believe it when i tell you!" enid said to wednesday in a sing-song tone, taking her usual place at the table, looking left and right, hoping that you or xavier weren't around.

wednesday's facial expression was the same as before, without expressing any emotion, despite her roommate's enthusiasm. no one could tell what was going through her mind. not even enid. but she continued anyway.

enid was known to know everyone's gossip, so it didn't take long for her to find out about what you did to get back at xavier when he broke up with you.

"as soon as xavier broke up with y/n a few days ago," enid started whispering in the girl's ear, though she was still unfazed, "she went to weathervane and she ended up having sex with tyler."

wednesday wanted to roll her eyes at her roommate's words, but she restrained herself from only pulling away from the girl to stare at her intently. "why should i care?"

"why should you care?" the girl repeated after her, her eyes widening. it was the first time that someone remained unimpressed by such gossip, but probably should have expected that from the wednesday addams.

wednesday nodded lightly. if you weren't paying attention, you wouldn't have noticed.

"do you really find it so uninteresting that y/n slept with tyler?" enid asked her, forgetting to speak in a whisper and turning a few looks towards her.

suddenly, being the wrong man at the wrong time, xavier thorpe had appeared near the two girls and happened to hear the last words of the girl with blonde hair, dyed at the tips.

he couldn't believe his ears.

"y/n slept with tyler?" he asked, a short and to the point question, feeling like a damn joke while the rest of the students sighed in surprise while enid put her hand over her mouth, regretting the words that came out of it.

nobody said anything.

xavier swallowed hard and cleared his throat, running a frustrated hand through his hair. "where is y/n?"

"xavier—", enid wanted to say something, feeling stupid that she was so talkative and that the boy found out this kind of news from her, in front of everyone... but wednesday got ahead of her.

"she's at weathervane."

of course that she is there, xavier thought and hurried to leave the school yard, ignoring the looks of pity that were thrown at him, and to hurry to reach the cafe before the end of the lunch break.

meanwhile, not knowing that what you did became the gossip of the week at nevermore academy, you quietly drank you coffee while running your fingers on the stem of the cup and kept your eyes on tyler, who was now taking the order at a table close by.

however, your silence didn't last long because xavier came through the door like a tornado, drawing other looks at him, from the locals of jericho, and startling you when he sat down across from you.

"tell me you didn't actually do it." he said, getting straight to the point, making an effort to look at you with his now dark eyes.

tyler took the order, but stood still, looking at you, twirling the notebook in his fingers, ready to intervene. not because you needed his help, but because he barely had you and didn't want anyone to intervene, especially thorpe.

being truly taken by surprise, you looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "do what, exactly?"

"you know what i'm talking about." he answered you, putting a hand on the table, wanting to touch you. in that moment tyler wanted to come to you, but you got scared because of the darkness in xavier's eyes and withdrew your hand, following to let your both hands slip from your cup, and he remained in place, staring at the golden brown-haired boy with clenched jaw.

"no, xavier," you replied in a calm tone, explaining how much the situation was stressing you out, "i have no idea what you're talking about."

"you fucked galpin!" the words came out of his mouth louder than he intended and you swallowed hard.

tyler gave up the damn trust that you were doing fine on your own and approached your table, taking advantage of the fact that he screamed to motivate his intervention.

he put his hand on xavier's shoulder, saying "ok, man, if you keep yelling like that, i'll have to kick you out of the cafe." as if he gave two fucks about his clients at that moment.

xavier snarled, pulling his shoulder out from under tyler's palm so fast it felt like it was burning. "don't you fucking try to touch me!" shouted the boy from the nevermore academy.

tyler threatened him again, this time just with his look, running his tongue furiously across the front of his teeth.

"you fucking fucked my girlfriend, man!" said the boy, standing up, him looking down at him, taking advantage of the fact that he was a little taller. "such things are not done!"

"she wasn't your girlfriend!"

"i wasn't your girlfriend anymore!"

you both said at the same time. first tyler, dropping his head a little to one side, and the second you, getting up from the table too.

xavier had a fake smile on his lips, which instead of hiding his disappointment from the rest of the world, emphasized it more, and he was close to you in less than a second, ignoring the palm tyler placed on his chest to slow him down. "so you admit you did it!" he concluded after your words, raising an accusing finger at you.

driven by the fact that not only was he making fun of himself, but you and tyler at the same time, you erased the space left between you, grasping him by his finger to force him to put it down. "i don't have to admit anything to you. get that in your head, okay?" you asked him rhetorically with a fake smile on your face. "i can sleep with whoever i want as long as you broke up with me." you added and turned on your heels as tyler withdrew his hand, both of you thinking that it was over.

you were so close to leaving the cafe, taking advantage of the fact that you hadn't made a fool of yourself yet, but his voice stopped you, with your hand on the door handle.

"you know what that makes you, don't you?" he asked you and you instinctively turned to give him one last look. "a whore." he formed the word, just by moving his lips, no sound being heard. and somehow, that hurt more.

without thinking, acting on the spur of the moment, tyler pulled him by the collar of his nevermore academy shirt, and punched him directly in the nose, channeling all his anger into that blow.

putting his hand to his nose, and ignoring the bleeding, xavier gave tyler a fake laugh. "that's all you can do?" he asked, trying to mock him, then he turned to you. "have your standards really gone that low?" he asked you, continuing to ignore how his blood was pumping because of the blow.

"don't talk to her!" tyler got in front of him and grabbed him by the collar again.

xavier laughed again, "what are you going to do?" he asked and didn't give him time to answer. "are you going to hit me again?" but as soon as he said this, he changed his mind. "or, oh no, are you going to fuck my girlfriend again?"

"for the last fucking time," tyler said each word through his teeth, squeezing them together as hard as he squeezed fist around his throat. "she was not your fucking girlfriend."

xavier wanted to say something else, but instead he struggled to breathe, making only weak sounds. tyler's gaze took a very dark turn, and you didn't know whether to feel scared, because it was the first time you'd seen him so enraged, or to get turned on because, oh, how good he looked when he defended you.

the door opens and you quickly step aside, still watching from the sidelines as tyler didn't seem to want to let go of xavier.

"what the hell is going on here, tyler?" a very familiar voice thundered throughout the cafe and only then did you move your gaze towards that person, realizing that the person who had just entered was tyler's father. the sheriff.

only then did tyler let go of the boy, who fell towards the edge of the table where you were sitting, clinging to it, to struggle to breathe again normally.

and you would find yourself talking even though you actually knew you were the reason. "believe me, sheriff galpin, i'd like to know that too." you said with a sly smile, making eye contact with tyler, as if he didn't have much left and was killing your ex-boyfriend.

apparently one of the customers announced the sheriff about that whole circus.

part 3

[sky-kiss]

Pinned Post: Guess I Should Make One

I mean, it's a Trash House. But I probably shouldn't have just like...a bunch of loose fic just rolling around the blog. I'm going to try and keep this updated but. I mean. You and I both know I won't.

Long Fic:

Sex, Death & the Infinite Void - Chapter 1 - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

My ongoing fic, focused on Raphael's attempted conquest of the Hells. Things have not gone as smoothly as anticipated. He comes to the Dark Urge after death and makes a deal. Team Theater Kid does its best to navigate deals with Archdevils, start a cult, Joi's father manifesting in her life. Etc.

I Don't Think About You Anymore (But I Don't Think About You Any Less) - Chapter 1 - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

Ok, it's not long. A two-part fic in a sad times AU, where Raphael offered a Dark Urge a place as his consort. She refuses him. They have a terrible relationship (it gets better?)

Hell In Your Eyes - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

Raphael has a bad dream. He wants to feel in control again. So, he bangs his duchess. That's it. That's the fic. I lied. This is now a smut compilation fic.

Second Nature to Me Now - Chapter 1 - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

This is an unholy amalgamation of Baldur's Gate and My Fair Lady. No. I will not answer any questions.

A Helping Hand - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate [Archive of Our Own]

Haarlep/F!Tav/Ascended Fiend Raphael have a good time.

Raphael x Tav Tumblr Asks Fics: (Under the Cut. TOO MANY)

Oh, god. Why didn't I NAME any of these. The titles get unhinged:

Angry Raphael Doing Torture

Raphael Speaking Infernal to Tav is Sexy

Tav is a Moron Who Signed a Contract Without Reading It

Bathing Raphael

Tav Accepts Raphael's Offer to Go to Hell (But in a Hot Way?)

Raphael Dancing with Tav

Tav is in Danger, Raphael Saves Her

Tav Snoops Around the Devil's Den (Raph is Right There, Idiot)

Raphael Attempts A Love Confession (Local Devil Crashes/Burns)

Softer Raphael? I Think This One Involves Cuddles

Word Prompts: Love & Worth

Raphael x Haarlep: Haarlep Teaches Raph a Lesson

Raph X Tav: Sex in Front of Mirror

Raphael Get Mugged (But Not Killed!) in his OWN HOUSE

Local Devil Publicly Shamed, Emergency Contact Still His Ex

Local Devil Exploits Idiot BFF's Propensity for Dying

Devil's Boyfriend Asks Out Devil's Idiot Crush; Is Only Sane Person

Local Devil Too Lazy to Shave Himself, But Also Sexy/Shirtless

Local Devil Partners and Terrible Drow Bitch About Parents

Reader Makes Very Bad Choices with Local Ascended Fiend

Local Devil Gets a Treat (Smut)

Local Devil Reminds You He Is Not for Cuddles (He Is)

Local Devil Sandwich Local Idiot (But Cute)

Coffee Shop AU: Friends Attempt to Help Local Idiot Date Hot Man

Coffee Shop AU 2: Friends Takes Matters Into Own Hands Due to Growing Disgust and Repulsion with Local Idiot and Hot Man

Local Devil Masquerades as Priest; Local Idiot Fooled

Local Devil and Local Idiot Just Kinda Grind on Each Other?

Local Devil and Local Idiot Throwdown in Hell

Local Idiot Tries to Rob Local Devils, Is Shocked by Repercussions

Coffee Shop AU 3: Local Idiot and Hot Man Flirt After Date

Coffee Shop AU 4: Just Some Shower Cuddles

Local Idiots Saves Local Devil's Lives: Is a Threesome Currency?

Coffee Shop AU 5: Snowday

Ascended Fiend Raphael Smut

Local Devil Is Kind of Nice for Once, Offers Bath

Local Devil is Truly Over the Local Idiot's Stupidity

Raphael Solo Sexy-Time

Reader Get Wrecked By Local Devils

Local Devil is Feeling Soft for Local Idiot

Local Idiot is so Dumb She Causes Local Devil Psychic Damage

Local Devil naps on Local Idiot

Reader is Hunted by Haarlep and Ascended Fiend Raphael

Local Devil Horrified by Own Child

Local Devil Not Dead, Gets Some Horrible Revenge via Local Idiot

Huge Devil Creatures Gives Cuddles

Local Devil Really Badly Burned (But not Dead!)

Local Devil Mistaken for Tiefling (Exhausted)

Things go Very Badly for Local Idiot

Local Devil Catches a Cold

Local Devil Introduces Local Idiot To Devil Father. It's bad

Asmodeus x Baalphegor

Local Idiot Kills Devil Crush, Consults Major Devil Hottie for Help

Local Idiot has Pissed Off Local Devil, Relationship in Shambles

Local Devil Transforms Nude

Local Devil has Beautiful Hands

Coffeehouse AU: Office Hours

Local Devils go "Fishing"

Local Idiot Helps Bloody Naked Local Devil to Take a Bath

Dadphael: His Kids are Thieves

Local Idiots Gets Absolutely Destroyed by Local Devils

Local Devils are Genuinely Awful: Bad Ending

Local Demon Seduces Local Idiot

Raphael x F!Tav: Corruption Smutlet

Raphael x F!Tav: War

CoffeShop Au Part Whatever: It's Snowy or Rainy and they Cuddle

Raphael and an Angel Play Chess or Something

Raphael is really too old to be drinking milk but here we are

Doll!Tav Get Their World Rocked By Raph/Haarlep

Local Devil "Comforts" a Sad/Tired Tav

Raphael and Haarlep Wreck Local Idiot

Modern AU Snippet Channeling some House of Usher

Haarlep and Raphael have some Bath Fun

Raphael and Tav have a Kissy in Honor of Kissy Day

Raphael is not dead (but is pissed off)

Raphael is too good for sex but is still going bang you

Early Raphael/Haarlep

Raphael Lingers in Bed and has big cat energy

Post post post canon Raphael GETS THE BIG WIN

Raphael & Jaheira have a catty conversation

Random Crap (Headcanons & Stuff) & Other People's DOPE ART:

Raph x Joi: Dirty Headcanons

Joi Looks Like This

Timeskip Raphael (SHAHS, YOU QUEEN)

Raphael & Joi Shopping (Please Note the Brooch)

Simply Drew a Gorgeous Joi (Thank you!)

Simply Drew Raphael and Raphael

Commission of Duchess Joi!

Simply Drew The Cutest Raph/Joi I've Ever Seen, Go, Gaze Upon It

Simply Drew a Sexy Murder Joi (Fresh from hunting her not husband)

Commission of Archduke Raphael and Duchess Joi

Ok. I think that's all of them. You no longer have to roam the wilds of the blog if you do not wish. I have released you from that dark task. Love ya'll. You're great. /finger guns/ Send me asks if you want. If I don't get to them immediately, I apologize.

But yeah. Keep on keeping on. Keep like...being amazing for Raphael. He doesn't deserve it, and he won't appreciate it, but like...I dunno.

[guilty-gear-hot-take-hellhole]

Ya know, I was procrastinating on reviving this old blog instead of lurking through Tumblr for a while, and I can’t believe that Bridget discourse pushed me to do it. VERY long rant ahead because boy do I have some opinions.

The other day I saw a tweet (I don't remember where) saying how glad they were that a queer character was getting a bunch of spotlight in regards to the new Bridget figure; then after that I IMMEDIATELY saw someone punching down on people asking for other characters and bringing up Anji specifically, and it's like holy shit, either you're genuinely ignorant or an idiot.

There are 3 other canon queer in Guilty Gear, yet people only want to focus on Bridget, and I could honestly go on about it.

Testament obviously suffers the least from this, but it’s still noteworthy how people will ignore them being queer since 1998, and before anyone says, "They used he/him and were only GNC." 1. That was a botched localization, & 2. There’s a queerness in gender nonconformity, which makes it devastating that Baiken has been made less nonconforming for the sake of sexualization.

In a similar vein, Anji's queerness is often ignored by a good chunk of the fandom, which is in itself a can of worms considering he's a GNC man who is treated normally (unlike Bridget who was essentially a gag character while she still identified as male) and bisexual, which seems to really stir up shit when said bisexual character shows attraction to the opposite sex, which is probably why people don't acknowledge him.

Lastly, there's Venom, and I'm gonna preface this by saying that I'm a lightskin before I'm queer, so I find it very interesting that they wrote out an explicitly gay POC out of the story. Don't get me wrong, I love this series, but once I noticed that fact, it didn't sit with me well, especially since Venom being gay is an integral part of his character that can't be hidden.

And that's what pisses me off the most, the fact that people aren't realizing that the reason Bridget is the only being pushed because her queerness isn't blatantly obvious at first glance and she fits the mold of a popular, fair-skinned, and cute that figure distributors love. I want ya'll to realize that Bridget being trans is overshadowed by her being a white girl, which is a real shame because it means other queer characters won't get attention because they don't fit this standard. The worst part is that people just ignore this, which makes it painfully obvious that they don't care for queer characters; they care for Bridget.

I this isn't everyone, but I ask that Bridget fans slow down on mindlessly buying merch of her because all it does is show distributors that you guys are cashcows ready to be used at any moment and PLEASE don't punch down on people asking for other characters. Seriously, some of ya'll are way too comfortable mocking other people because you got what you wanted. As for the other characters, show them some support and buy their merch if you have the means to (god knows I don't). Even just picking up the character can show that people care about them and want to see them more. I know it's little more than delusion on my part, but it’s at least something.

Tl;dr: Don't be pretentious about a queer character getting merch if you only care about Bridget and support other characters. Sorry about this being so long.

Yeah I think I may know the tweet you’re referring to…

Another tweet I saw on the topic also featured a family guy meme about thanksgiving

Anyways ON GOD !

[idyllcy]

from one admirer to another : blanched?

pairing: leon kennedy x reader || masterpost: from one admirer to another

synopsis: from one admirer to another, an online penpal service, allows for two people with common interests to write to each other without ever revealing their actual address! Luckily for both you and Leon, you get matched up! What do eggs and Christmas even have in common anyway? sure hope it's that modeling business and NOT that Ada Wong addiction.

featuring: reader as scrambled eggs // leon as christmas

Dear steamed scrambled eggs,

I'm so sorry it took a while to get back to you. I landed and immediately started working full-time again. Ugh, the modeling life does not let you down with bookings. My manager told me something about how I'd be busier from now on since I got to walk in Paris this year. My resume is popping... did I use that right. I can't keep up with all this young people lingo and I'm not even old.

I doubt your face card is that bad if what you brought up in our early letters is true. If nearly all of your friends wanted you to get into modeling, then surely there's a reason. It's not like your friends sound like typical models either, so I can only assume that they're actually higher-ranking models or whatever.

Oh. Yes, after this walk, it seems Ada's officially reached supermodel status. She's about to get so much busier... I miss when she had time to attend her local fan events. Well, maybe I'll be like that one day? Who knows. I'm not even big enough for fan events yet.

I'm also starting to have suspicions of who you are. So, if you end up with a stalker... sorry (for reasons this is a joke) but I do have suspicions. I bumped into that roommate of yours while in France. I could put two and two together, but I'd much rather just bump into you again. Surely you won't dodge me when I ask for your number again?

Which brings me to my next point. I did bring you to Paris with me. I had nearly all of our letters boxed up in my suitcase, and it drove my manager mad. My agent didn't care as much since he was seeing his girlfriend, but my manager was going through it. "You don't need a box that big." he said. Skill issue. That's why he's still single (I am too). Oh, oops. My internet persona seems to be seeping into the way I write to you now. Shame.

Which brings me back to the point. No gift this time? Seems I need to step up my game with you a bit. Mm... should get some help from a friend. Ah, right. Favorite flowers?

See you soon (threat) Christmas

It's not hard to put two and two together. If Ada had pointed out the letter with that kind of look in her eye, then there was definitely something she knew. Considering everything about her, it's not hard to deduce that he's been writing to you. You. Literally. From day one, the universe sent you right to him and he didn't even put two and two together until Ada had made it somewhat obvious. It's a little silly of him considering that he did graduate top of his class in the police academy with perfect grades for everything, but it's fine. He's just rusty, or something.

Well, he can't ask her for your address since you probably live with her, but he can most definitely ask someone else who happens to know the two of you rather well.

"Sancho!" Luis laughs. "Fancy seeing you here, eh?"

"Yeah." He hums, closing his eyes as the makeup artist touches him up. "I had a favor to ask of you, Luis."

"Oh, of me?"

"I'd like to send flowers to the model I walked with last time. Surely you can help me out?"

"By doxing them? I don't think so, sancho." Luis shakes his head. "Told 'em you had a crush on them, but they told me there was no way back then. Seems like I was right, hm?"

"Yes."

"Aye... shame. I can't help much. But, I can extend an invite to a certain something." He sends an image to Leon's phone.

"It's like... August right now."

Luis shrugs. "Invites went out a week ago. You'll be our guest of honor. I'll send you further details as we get closer. You can meet them there, sancho."

Leon doesn't have a particularly good feeling about it, but anything to scare you shitless, he assumes.

"Why are you so willing to help?"

"You're a nice man." Luis waves. "You owe me, though."

"Didn't realize we were keeping count."

prev letter : masterlist : next letter

[sothasil]

hi! so, first of all, i love your khajiit art, it's awesome to see someone expanding on khajiit lore in such a thoughtful and interesting way. second of all, i have been looking for ages for any information on marriage in khajiit culture and i have found little. obviously there ARE marriages in elsweyr, but i wanna know traditions: what clothes are worn, what kinds of rings are exchanged, if any, what foods are eaten, etc. but i cant find anything! do you have opinions on this? i'd love to hear!

thank you very much! i can't help with official lore sources (since ESO came out i stopped following that :')) but i do have my own headcanons on the matter!

marriages are a big deal when it involves the linking of two notable families/clans. in the northern regions, where clans are more important to everyday life and social structure, notable members marrying are grounds for large celebrations and larger amounts of discourse between family heads. expected topics include with whom the family will live, how both spouses fit the clan's skill and values and of course, how [insert party currently talking] is better than [insert the other clan involved]

marriages are more important by the greater families union they provide than other aspects surrounding the actual individuals. as a strongly communal society, to khajiit, marrying is first and foremost to officialize your relationship with a partner in relation to what that means for your families. the formation of elsweyr itself under that name happened with a marriage, and that historical example is propped up by some as what should be the cultural standard.

when a marriage does happen, it's a huge party. both sides of the couple's family come over to show off and have fun. it's a good occasion to meet other people and demonstrate the skills and power of you and your clan. as with all big parties, there will be guests who have nothing to do with either families coming too! those party crashers can just come for fun, but some attend to make connections and deals while taking advantage of the events.

romance, sex and having kids are not that tied to the concept. for marriages between important people, if they do have kids matters a lot but it's not that linked to the marriage in itself. khajiit are not very strict when it comes to why and how you have your lovers. it isn't a shame to have sex outside of marriage (including if you end up with kids), and if you are indeed married and want a lover, the big deal won't be ruining a sanctity of marriage, but more what your partner thinks of it. it is however considered unsightly to marry someone you do not have some feelings for, as well as marrying your friend for each other's benefits. again, greater family above all

who was there when it happens and how much you talk about your union are probably the most important factors for officializing it all. divorce isn't really a thing because khajiit aren't bureaucratic. if your marriage falls apart, it's up to you to make it clear you are ending it and face the likely familial backlash. it is however completely acceptable to marry several times - if your spouse is gone, if you find a better one... if that latter case applies and both sides don't remarry, the one who doesn't might get a bad rep. marriages between more than two people aren't a social norm, and while you might have a clan mother who celebrates that, it is rare and polyamoursly inclined khajiit tend to not marry at all and just stay lifelong lovers with their partners.

The only place in my personal khajiit musings where I explored marriage was for my own characters - Ma'Jahrann's parents, Elaahni and Qa'Husar. In those two, each hails from a very different culture - Elaahni is from a more traditionalist mid-sized Anequina clan, and Qa'Husar is from the southern parts with a more cosmopolitan structure, born to a small immediate family who dissolved as he grew up. Their marriage was a bit of a deal when it happened. Elaahni was a local celebrity and her family didn't see too kindly the nobody from those big humid cities marrying their daughter. Qa'Husar himself had to face acquiring a gigantic extended family overnight which he had no experience with. Both ended up fucking off to a smaller town where they settled on an in-between of living a settled lifestyle close with the local community, with Elaahni's close relatives visiting when they saw fit.

[sgiandubh]

Cut the (Ghenea) crap

I have been anticipating since at least last Friday the very recent rumor overdrive about S and Mrs. Mădălina Ghenea, Romanian Horizontal Extraordinaire and I howled like a pack of hyenas in the dull silence of my flat.

Of all the rumors featuring S and divers representatives of the International Fitness Harem, this one stroke me as the most ridiculous ever. Downright scraping the bottom of the barrel, here, to be honest.

Now, as all of you know, I happen to be Romanian and if anything, you should at least grant me the benefit of a flawless knowledge of the terrain, so to speak. And as far as erotically ambitious Romanian chicks go, let's just say I am a sweet summer child, compared to this one.

Mădălina hails from Slatina, a small town in Oltenia, one of the most fascinating parts of the Romanian Southwest (I have a good quarter pint of Oltenian blood myself, so I think I know what the hell I am talking about: quick-witted, ambitious people, with a devastating, sarcastic sense of humor). She comes from virtually nothing: a working-class family of former farmers drawn to the nearest town by the quick and demented industrialization of the country during the Sixties, which is to say, the Lumpenproletariat our German friends can immediately relate to. But when you spend your childhood in the dull and poor anonymity of a non-descript block of flats (matchbox upon matchbox upon matchbox - think of it as a dignified favela of sorts), the only thing you want to do is to get the damn out of there, at all costs. Which, I have to say, she brilliantly and ruthlessly managed to, almost in record time. Granted, she is beautiful (to me, she is very cliché, but for any foreign male she is a Wanton Goddess of Sex, I suppose) and she does have the street smarts to safely get her through any urban jungle of this planet, too.

You can peruse her war credentials here, for a quick overview of the character, if you really, really, really need to: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C4%83d%C4%83lina_Diana_Ghenea.

I will just add (and you will have to trust me on this one), a couple of things:

Cynically speaking, she could be a decently plausible beard for S. After all, she did beard for di Caprio (an info I just corroborated over the phone with a friend who is a cinema & TV journalist, back home). Problem is, a woman like this is way over budget. I am afraid The Boy doesn't qualify, bless his heart: too meh for her eclectic, but high-end tastes (local cardboard millionaires, Bulgarian tennis players of the light mafioso type, Philipp Plein, Italian TV beaux and yup, Gerard Butler - but it did not end amicably, enough said). You have to understand that woman saw it all and she won't settle for a pap walk in the pishing drizzle of GLA, or even NY. This one knows perfectly well diamonds are a girl's best friend. And if you doubt me, maybe you won't doubt her, when she declared three days ago for the Daily Fail something along these lines:

[source, LOL: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-12681539/EDEN-CONFIDENTIAL-Sexiest-woman-world-Madalina-Ghenea-yearns-real-man-stealing-hearts-Leonardo-DiCaprio-Gerard-Butler-Michael-Fassbender.html]

Read my lips: not going to happen. Not in a million years, not even for the sake of the fucking Narrative. Not even on a desert island. Never. Nuh-oh. No way.

At any rate, if God knows what sick plot twist happens, you'll learn it here first, probably: the Romanian gossip press would put to shame poor Deux Moi, with its needlessly chatty, exuberant, salaciously detailed style.

So I will say again here what I did say in a comment to an Anon who brought it up first @bat-cat-reader's :

TERMINAȚI CU TÂMPENIILE. Which is simply translated as CUT THE CRAP.

Of course.

[maggotfagg0t]

Introduction 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

Hello' I am Tobias or Toby, he/him you can call me ether one I don't mind. I am very talkative person, so if you'd like to just ramble to me about stuff that you like/interested in I'm always hear to listen, or if you just want someone to speak with. I try to be active on here, but you can also contact me on the other socials that will be listed below of course. I really like car seat headrest just a warning

Fandoms 𓆨

Some fandoms that I am in are

- Marble hornets

- everymanhybrid

- darkharvest00

- smiling friends

- rick and morty

- superjail

- Car seat headrest

- creepypasta

- Moral orel

- homestuck

- clone high

- bojack horsemen

Etc

Other interests 𓆑

Some other interests that I have consist of

Drawing

Bugs

Writing

Urban exploring

Filming

Horror

Rp

Adult cartoons

MUSIC 𓆦

I listen to alot of indie rock, my favorite band is car seat headrest, it's one of my biggest hyperfixations at this moment. I am very car seat headrest coded. I also listen to alot of local metal, and punk bands that play around where I live, I go to alot of concerts and am very much involved in the punk scene and am punk myself as someone who listens to the music and follows punk Ideology.

Socials 𓆣

Discord: maggotfagg0t

I do have other socials such as Instagram and snapchat, but will not be listing them here due to privacy reasons, but If you'd like to reach out and ask for my insta or snap I'd probably give it to you. Just don't wanna list it here for the whole of Tumblr here.

DNI 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

just a basic dni, I won't not talk to you if you are in any certain fandoms since I know that alot of fandoms are toxic but that doesn't make it so all of the people in it are bad and I find it a little dumb when people say DNI if you like a certain Fandom, unless it's something where the source itself is problematic that I understand that. So almost anyone is welcome on my page.

unless of course you are a pro contact ped0, z00, or anything or that nature. Then you aren't welcome here, and if you are someone who shames people for their, gender identity, race, abilities, etc then DNI. I do not hate people who suffer from paraphilles if you are actively working on getting help, + have never hurt anyone nonconsently then you can interact,

What am I? 𓆈

I am a male, I go by he/it

@ssunsear I love you no homo i guess 😔

So yeah I'm pretty friendly and will just mainly just ramble about stuff on this app so talk to me if you like I'm really just here to meet cool new people :D

[riderofthemist]

It is okay if I vent a little about my Covid experience so far?

Some years ago, I was getting worried that I was becoming too anti-social, mostly sitting at home, rarely meeting with the few friends I have, not participating in any local gatherings or other in-person social events. And I have never been in any romantic relationship, despite wanting it very much. Chatting with people online is one thing, but I keep reading about how important it is to have real-life, in-person friends too. So I decided that I was finally going to do something about it. I was going to join local hobby groups that interested me, I was going to visit conventions, maybe I would even try going out to concerts and clubs, and actively pursuing dating. There's a part of me that's always pushing against these things, trying to come up with excuses for staying home instead. But I was determined to ignore those excuses, to make a genuine effort to become more social.

Then the pandemic began. And suddenly, my anti-social aspect had the perfect excuse, that I couldn't argue against. So I thought "damn, well, I guess I can wait, this will probably be over in a few months, or maybe a year?"

But it's not over, is it? It's never going to be over.

And by now, I'm getting desperate. I feel like I have to take *some* risks if I'm not going to end up completely isolated, if I don't want to just sit at my computer, reading social media, going to bed and fall asleep while worrying about dying alone.

At the back of my mind, I'm thinking that even if I'm vaccinated, and I wear a mask, and I'm constantly staying on high alert, counting how many people are in a room, always staying at a distance, always washing my hands, never eating or drinking until I'm completely alone... It's not enough. Nor precaution other than staying home by myself is 100% safe. Especially not when I'm the only person who is wearing a mask (and I'm definitely too socialy anxious to ask anyone else to wear one). As far as I know, there are no "mask blocs" or other serious efforts to create Covid-safe social gatherings where I live, and I don't feel like I have the time, energy or skills to do it myself.

So now, whenever I happen to be in place with any number of other people (even if it's just me and one other person, even if I'm wearing a mask), there's a buzzing feeling at the back of my skull, a mixture of fear and shame. "I'm going be infected, or I'm going to infect other people." "Since you can have Covid without any symptoms, I have to assume that I and everyone else are infected at all times." "I should have just stayed at home, this isn't worth it."

(Also, I should probably try to stop reading people posting angry rants about how the world is full of ableist, eugenicist plague rats who are responsible for the deaths of millions, etc. etc. I know that they're just expressing totally legitimate anger and frustration, possibly engaging in a bit of hyperbole, and that I shouldn't take it personally... But I can't deny that it's probably affecting me on a subconscious level, contributing to the miserable feeling I get whenever I go outside, masked or not.)

Hi, it is okay. ^^ Let me tell you something : when you are around people, you are the safest person they could be around. You are doing your part. It is a big part, and an efficient part. If they catch Covid, it won't be your fault. I don't know if you expect an answer to it or just wanted to vent so I'll give one and if you don't care you can just skip it. ^^ I understand what you're going through very much as I currently go through the same thing. If there isn't a network of Covid Conscious people around you, maybe you can do your own thing. When you see someone wearing a mask you can get in touch with them. If talking to them directly is too hard (which I understand) you can give them a note and... run away, waiting for them to contact you. They probably are as eager as you to meet Covid conscious people. There is something else I love, it's associations that gather old people. But it's kind of a special type of socialization. However, most of the time they wear a mask or are happy that you wear one.

As for the "buzzing feeling at the back of your skull"... I wear headphones most of the time to silence them. Or I try to think about it that way : I can't be a 100% safe about anything but it's okay. I'm doing all I can to protect myself from Covid, so I just need to relax. It is working, I need to trust my safety measures. Yes, people around me are not wearing a mask, but I do, and until then, I've never caught Covid so it is working. Be safe.

[aerbiscuit]

Hi I have a question about the centaur lore. How would centaurs react to a non-taur farting? Either a stranger in their presence or someone they've befriended?

Thanks for being so interested in my ideas! :3

That answer has two parts to it. First, we'll start with Part A: all non-taurs/humanoids.

When it comes to non-taurs farting, centaurs would generally react in non-negative ways. It all depends on context, of course, such as the personalities of those involved, whether or not it was an accident, etc. But here are common responses:

Amusement: Centaurs not only fart a lot, but they fart impressively. Centaur farts are either loud and sputtering, loud and long, or silent and SUPER long (with an audible hiss and visible flapping tail). Either way, they're usually always thick and strong-smelling, not necessarily bad but always noticeable. This means that when a non-taur/humanoid farts, some centaurs will just laugh and go, "Awww, how cute. That all you got?" They find "weaker" non-taur farts kinda silly and adorable. Imagine how you feel when you hear a dog or cat farting.

Relief: In the case of the non-taur farting intentionally because they're relaxed (or they just don't care), a lot of centaurs will assume this means the other person doesn't mind a centaur relieving themselves as well. Society at large has the taboo against farting, and most non-taurs don't have bodies that make it really hard to avoid being "rude." Farting intentionally around a centaur basically says there's nothing to worry about around you, and maybe even that you're joining them in "transgressing" this idea of politeness. Don't be surprised to hear a centaur mutter, "Oh thank god," before letting out a pent-up horse fart that puts the non-taur's to shame.

Competition: This response will usually only happen around a certain type of centaur and a certain type of non-taur. If a non-taur lets out some gas that's anywhere CLOSE to the level of a centaur's, some centaurs may find they're being... challenged. Sometimes the centaur will put a little more force into a fart than usual to outdo the other person. It's unlikely that a non-taur will win if they turn this into a fart-off, but that won't stop people from trying, nor from having fun.

A sub category to competition is interest: If a non-taur lets out a fart close to the level of a centaur's, a centaur may be genuinely interested in just what that non-taur ate (or how their body works) to make such gas possible. Not all non-taurs are comfortable answering that. The ones that are... curiously, they often become great buddies with centaurs.

Of course, there's always the matter of how a centaur would feel if a non-taur farted while riding them. If a non-taur becomes a centaur's "rider" (a special bond where the centaur will always be comfortable giving them a lift for hours on end), then the centaur wouldn't mind HOW many farts get drilled into their back. "Ride or die" has never been more appropriate.

In all other cases, the reaction is how you'd expect. Unless the centaur has a great personal fondness for farts, they'd enjoy getting farted on less than somebody farting around them. Still, they'd probably just brush it off, only really getting annoyed if the farts sounded or smelled particularly disgusting. Ultimately, it's up to the personality of the centaur involved. (In most cases, the centaur will back their ass up into their rider once they've climbed off, let out a thick one against them, and claim that now they're even.)

Now we get to Part B, the one thing that occurred to me a while ago, but that I've never brought up until now. What happens when another KIND of taur farts around a centaur?

I present you with: the minotaur. The only animal hybrid whose guts are on par with a centaur's.

Minotaurs and centaurs aren't enemies, no way. But they ARE rivals. Think of it less like warring families or classes and more like... local sports teams, the kind that meet up in the park every so often and will take breaks from trying to beat each other to get drunk and have a nice time.

When a minotaur farts around a centaur, there's a 50/50 chance a centaur will either respond to it like a competition (especially if the minotaur was trying to start one) or in encouragement (the minotaur was finally letting out something that was bothering their stomachs all day; the centaur welcomes this and joins in too).

... welp, this got very long. Hopefully I've sufficiently answered your question!

[alternativeminiatures]

Good video talking about the recent 'news' (?), of how gws has decided to stop allowing pre-ordering for independent vendors/third party shops, which means, in some cases, your local shop won't get new releases until a year later.

If this is true, soon you only will be able to get the new releases of gws miniatures from the gws web (unless you want to wait an indeterminate amount of extra time), or from your friendly scalper on ebay (for an indeterminate amount of extra money).

I have no idea how reliable or definitive these news are, but I know gws has wanted to get rid of third party vendors for a while. I already talked on another post about how two of my nearest local shops stopped selling gws products after gws refused to send any stock to my region for weeks, so this move is not news for me. (btw, my local shops didn't close, they are just selling other nerd stuff like merch, comics, board games and books).

I know many people would think this is a stupid move by gws, that will ruin them, etc. But I think they want to do a 'Marvel', and rely on their IP, not their product.

My theory is they expect Henry Cavill's series has a GOT effect, and get their IP broadcasted to the big public, and then sell more rights for series, movies, videogames, merch, toys, etc etc And selling miniatures will be some fancy novelty for collectors only, not a hobby for everybody.

Maybe they're viendo las orejas al lobo* of 3D printing, and think selling miniatures has no future. And you know what? That's fucking bullshit.

Why did streaming servicies have success when pirating is free? Because it's convenient. They gave a service in exchange of a fair amount of money. When it stopped working? When the amount of money started going through the roof, and gws is already in the 'through the roof' part.

If there is a convenient source of minis for a good price, you would buy from there most of the time, and only get bits and extra stuff from 3D printing services. But once the amount of money of a few minis is about the same of a decent 3D printer...

But probably, they are just greedy, as all corporations, and selling the IP is more lucrative with a lot less work expenses.

Anyway, I have a pile of shame big enough, and there are other games out there.

*Seeing the wolf's ears: a spanish expression meaning you see something (bad) coming.

[calamitaswrath]

Cal Lucia plays Fire Emblem Path of Radiance: Chapter 10

Ranulf's back! Does he join us now?

Ohh, catboy's got money for us! That's a start.

Guess he doesn't join us yet. But Lethe and Mordecai do! That's pretty nice. Though I suppose it won't be long now before I have to pick and chose who to deploy for each battle, which is always a bit of a tough one in older FEs. Definitely leaning towards using Lethe in my "main party", though.

Base conversation with a generic soldier that has Ike experience racism. Nothing too noteworthy, but a nice little worldbuilding detail

Marcia continues to flirt with Ike, and he doesn't care. There's no way that this man is straight. Interesting note about Marcia's brother though - I suppose he's encountered later on?

Now that I'm aware that this game also has the five support maximum, I have to admit that I am a bit more hesitant to just do supports as they become available. For example, I have unlocked the C support between Ike and Titania, but I'd really rather not do that one for fear of missing out on others

Mist and Rolf on the other hand, I think I can do. I want to save Mist's A support for another character that joins later and I know about, but she doesn't have any others yet, so I guess I can do this. And it's a pretty cute support - who would've thunk that sending children onto a battlefield could be bad for their mental health, though?

. . .Damn, Begnion takes up a lot of space on the map. Kinda surprised that they only really come up now, but I guess that's sort of to be expected

Ohh, we're actually shown on the map where our route takes us! That's cool.

. . .Wait, so Ranulf's travelling with us, but he's not playable yet? Am I understanding this correctly?

Ah. So, this chapter is basically a new recruit shopping trip? And a stealth mission?

New character, Volker! Goodness, that's a German name if ever I saw one

. . .I better not have to pay those 50.000 in terms of gameplay, or so help me

. . .Okay, that's definitely a unique way to do this. Hiring Volker to open cells. . . well, I haven't really used my funds that much yet, so let's do it

And now we are at the chapters where I have to pick and chose who to bring. . . that's gonna be a tough one, like I said. I'd love to just keep all of Greil's original mercenaries in my active party, but that's probably not very feasible

Now, let's see who I can get on this map. Sephiran - definitely heard of his name before, but I couldn't really put a design to it. Kevin - unfortunate name (and apparently also just a part of the German localization?? Huh??), but I suppose he's Oscar's counterpart. Brom - ohoho, that's peak character design. Nephenee - HER! I've seen her a lot in fanart already. Definitely a cute design.

Okay, after reading up on the recommended strategies for this chapter - which I did precisely due to the supposed stealth elements. . . yeah, screw stealth. Sounds like more of hassle than it is worth. Shame about the bonus experience, but I get a master seal out of it, so that's good.

. . .I did not expect the reinforcements that can move on the same turn as they spawn, and got Mist killed. At least I'm starting over from the first turn, urgh. . .

Okay, Kieran's definitely more out there in terms of personality than I would have expected. Quite the surprise, but a welcome one!

Hah, Soren's retreat quote telling Ike to watch out. . .

. . .Hold on, in order to clear the map I don't actually need to have everyone escape. Just Ike works! That means I can at least get the bonus experience for the turn count, so that's neat.

Due to the strategy aid pointing out that freeing Sephiran is completely optional, I didn't free him. So, his appearance after the chapter is the first thing I'm actually really seeing of him. . . and he is just being ominous for buggering off. Okay.

Oh, we actually get a choice whether Volker (side note, I think this may be another instance of the German localization at work? I think the Wiki calls him Volke) stays with us? I'll let him stay with me, then.

[layce2015]

Supernatural (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader)

Something Wicked

Masterlist

"Yeah. You probably missed something, that's what." Dean said as we roared down the highway. "Dude, I ran LexisNexis, local police reports, newspapers, I couldn't find a single red flag." Sam exclaims.

"Are you sure you got the coordinates right?" I asked Dean as I leaned forward against their seat. "Yeah, I double checked. It's Fitchburg, Wisconson. Dad wouldn't have sent us coordinates if it wasn't important, guys." Dean said, angrily. "Well I'm telling you, I looked and all I could find was a big steamy pile of nothing. If Dad's sending us hunting for something, I don't know what." Sam said, frustrated.

"Well maybe he's going to meet us there." Dean said, shrugging. "Yeah. Cause he's been so easy to find up to this point." Sam remarked, rolling his eyes. "You're a real smart ass you know that?" Dean spat and the two brothers glare at each other before Dean looks back at the road. "Don't worry I'm sure there's something in Fitchburg worth killing." Dean said.

"Yeah? What makes you so sure?" Sam asked him. "Cause I'm the oldest, which means I'm always right." Dean said and I let a laugh. "No it doesn't." Sam said, shaking his head. "It totally does." Dean said as he glances at Sam then looks back at the road with a little grin.

In Fitchburg, Sam and I were leaning against the Impala staring at the playground when Dean crosses to the road to us, holding a drink carrier with three coffees. "Well...the waitress thinks the local freemasons are up to something sneaky but other than that no one's heard about anything freaky going on." Dean said as he hands us our coffee.

"Dean, you got the time?" Sam asked Dean, who looks at his watch. "Ten after Four. Why?" He asked and Sam and I nod towards the deserted playground, which only had one child playing and climbing. "What's wrong with this picture." I said and Dean looks the playground over.

"School's out isn't it?" Dean asked. "Yeah. So where is everybody?" I asked and Sam nods. "This place should be crawling with kids right now." Sam said just as a woman sits on a park bench, reading a magazine. Dean and I approach her.

"Sure is quiet out here." Dean said to her. "Yeah, it's a shame." She said and we give her a curious look. "Why's that?" I asked her. "You know, kids getting sick, it's a terrible thing." She replied.

"How many?" Dean asked her. "Just five or six but serious, hospital serious. A lot of parents are getting pretty anxious. They think it's catching." The woman said then the three of us watch the little girl playing by herself.

"Dude. Dude I am not using this ID." Sam growls as we enter the hospital and come up to the receptionist desk after we changed clothes. "Why not?" Dean asked. "Cause it says bikini inspector on it!" Sam exclaims and Dean and I start to smile. "Don't worry she won't look that close all right? Hell, she won't even ask to see it. It's all about confidence, Sammy." Dean said then he spins Sam to face the desk and he and I keep walking. 

"Hi. I'm Doctor Jerry Caplin, Centers for Disease Control." Sam said to the woman behind the desk while Dean and I watch him. "Can I see some ID?" She asked and Dean and I start to snigger. Sam throws us a dirty look before he looks back at the woman. "Yeah of course." He said and quickly flashes his ID to her then retracted it.

"Now could you direct me to the pediatrics ward please?" He asked her. "Okay well, just go down that hall, turn left and up the stairs." She said and Sam turns and approaches us, glaring at our smiles. "See. I told you it would work." Dean said as Sam shakes his head, irritably. "Follow me. It's upstairs." He grumbles and we walk down the corridor.

We walked down a few steps and I was about to turn to Dean when I noticed that he wasn't there. I turn and see Dean was staring inside of a room. "Dean!" I shouted and he jumps slightly then follows us.

"Well, thanks for seeing us, Dr. Hydecker." I said as the boys  and I walked down the corridor with the Doctor. "Well I'm glad you guys are here. I was just about to call CDC myself. How'd you find out anyways?" Hydecker asked us. "Oh some GP, I forget his name, he called Atlanta and, uh, he must've beat you to the punch." Dean explains, quickly, and Hydecker nods.

"So you say you got six cases so far?" Sam asked him. "Yeah, five weeks. At first we thought it was garden variety bacterial pneumonia. Not that newsworthy. But now..." Hydecker before he trails off. "Now what?" I asked him. "The kids aren't responding to antibiotics. Their white cell counts keep going down. Their immune systems just aren't doing their job. It's like their bodies are...wearing out." Hydecker said as a nurse comes up to him.

"Excuse me, Dr Hydecker." She said as she hands him some forms to look over and sign. "You ever see anything like this before?" Sam asked him. "Never this severe." Hydecker said. "And the way it spreads...that's a new one for me." The nurse said as she looks up at us.

"What do you mean?" I asked them. "It works its way through families. But only the children, one sibling after another." The nurse said and the boys and I share a glance for a moment.

"You mind if we interview a few of the kids?" Dean asked her. "They're not conscious." The nurse said. "None of them?" Sam asked, shocked. "No." The nurse said, shaking her head.

"Can we, uh, can we talk to the parents?" I asked them. "Well, if you think it'll help." Hydecker said and I nod. "Yeah. Who was your most recent admission?" Dean asked him.

Minutes later, the boys and I stood in front of a man, who was sitting in a chair against the wall, asking him questions. "I should get back to my girls." The man said. "We understand that, and we really appreciate you talking to us. Now you say Mary is the oldest?" Sam asked. "Thirteen." The man replied.

"Ok. And she came down with it first, right? And then..." I said and the man nods. "Bethany, the next night." He adds. "Within 24 hours?" I asked him. "I guess. Look, I, uh, I already went through all this with the doctor." The man said to us and we nod as Dean holds up a hand to him.

"Just a few more questions if you don't mind. How do you think they caught pneumonia? Were they out in the cold, anything like that?" Dean asked. "No. We think it was an open window." The man replied. "Both times?" Dean asked him. "The first time, I, I don't really remember but the second time for sure. And I know I closed it before I put Bethany to bed." The man said.

"So you think she opened it?" Sam asked him. "It's a second story window with a ledge. No one else could've." The man replied.

"You know this might not be anything supernatural. It might just be pneumonia." Sam said as we walked down the corridor of the hospital. "Maybe. Or maybe something opened that window. I don't know man, look, Dad sent us down down here for a reason. I think we might be barking up the right tree." Dean said.

"I'll tell you one thing." Sam mutters. "What?" Dean and I asked him. "That guy we just talked to? I'm betting it'll be a while before he goes home." Sam said, giving us a knowing look.

We break into that man's house and check Bethany's room with the EMF. "You got anything over there?" I asked Dean as he holds his device out. "Nah, nothing." Dean replied. "Yeah, me neither." Sam said as we keep checking until I move to the window and noticed something odd on the windowsill. 

"Hey boys?" I said. "Yeah." They said as I stare at the windowsill closer and see a handprint that had rotted into the wood. "You were right, Dean. It's not pneumonia." I said as they come over and see it as well.

"It's rotted. What the hell leaves a handprint like that?" Sam asked as Dean stares at it, intently.

Flashback 

*3rd Person POV*

Dean, who was around ten years old, was staring at a photo of a handprint when John and (father's name) come out of the bedroom, loading their sawn off. "All right. You know the drill, Dean. Anybody calls, you don't pick up. If it's me or (father's name), we'll ring once, then call back. You got that?" John said to Dean, who nods.

"Mm-hmm. Only answer the phone unless it rings once first." Dean repeated. "Come on, dude, look alive. This stuff is important." John said to him, firmly. "I know, it's just...we've gone over it like a million times and you know I'm not stupid." Dean said to his dad. "I know you're not, but it only takes one mistake, you got that?" John said to Dean, firmly.

"John, go easy on him. He's a smart boy, he can handle it." (Father's name) said to John, who stares at him. (Father's name) raises an eyebrow at John before they gather their weapons.

"All right, if we're not back Sunday night...?" John asked Dean. "Call Pastor Jim." Dean said to him. "Lock the doors, the windows, close the shades. Most important...." John said. "Watch out for Sammy and (y/n)." Dean said and they look over at Sam and (y/n), both of them sprawled on the couch, watching cartoons on TV. "I know." Dean said to the men as they nod.

"All right. If something tries to bust in?" John asked. "Shoot first, ask questions later." Dean replied and John smiles and places a hand on his shoulder. "That's my man." John said as (father's name) looks at his young daughter.

"(Y/n)." He calls and the young girl, with two ponytails, gets up and walks over to her dad. "Now, I'm gonna be gone for a few days, okay? You stay here and be a good girl." He said to her as he kneels down to her. "Yes, daddy." (Y/n) said. "Dean's in charge, so listen to him and don't give him too much of a hard time." (Father's name) said, smirking, as the girl nods.

"And you help out any way you can, alright?" He said. "Yes, daddy." (Y/n) said and her father smiles. "That's my girl." He said then he goes and kisses the top of her head. He stands up and turns to John, nods at him and the two men walk out of the motel room and, immediately, Dean goes to the door and locks it.

Present Day

*(y/n)'s POV*

"I know why Dad sent us here. He's faced this thing before. He wants us to finish the job." Dean said to us as he stares at the handprint, looking a bit sick.

"So what the hell is a shtriga?" Sam asked Dean after we pull up to a motel office and get out of the car. "It's...kinda like a witch I think. I don't know much about 'em." Dean replied. "Well I've never heard of it. And it's not in Dad's journal." Sam said.

"Dad and (father's name) hunted one in Fort Douglas, Wisconsin, about 16, 17 years ago. You two were there. You guys don't remember?" Dean asked. "No." Sam said. "Vaguely." I said as I think. "And I guess Dad caught wind of the things in Fitzburg now and kicked us the coordinates." Dean said.

"So wait, this...Shtriga. You think it's the same one our Dads hunted before?" I asked Dean. "Yeah, maybe." Dean said, shrugging. "But if Dad and (father's name) went after it why is it still breathing air?" Sam asked Dean. "Cause it got away." Dean replied, simply.

"Got away?" Sam and I asked as I start to think that this is very odd. My dad and John always made sure when they were hunting monsters, they made sure it would never come back. "Yeah, guys, it happens." Dean said, frustrated. "Not very often." Sam points out. "Yeah, especially if my dad was helping." I said to Dean. "Well I don't know what to tell ya, maybe our Dads didn't have their wheaties that morning." Dean said.

"What else do you remember?" I asked Dean. "Nothin'. I was a kid all right?" Dean said, defensively, before he goes into the office. Sam gives me a look and I shrug and follow Dean into the office as a young boy around ten or twelve years old comes up to the desk.

"Two queens." Dean said to the boy. The boy looks out the door and towards Sam then sniggers. "Yeah I'll bet." He mutters. "What'd you say?" Dean asked him and the boy looks up at him, smiling, and I raise an eyebrow at this.

"Nice car!" He said then I come up to Dean and pull out my card. "Hey, honey...you forgot your card." I said to him, sweetly. He looks at me, slightly confused, but I smiled at him and he caught on what I was doing and takes my card. "Thanks, sweetheart. What would I do without you?" He asked me and my smile widens. "Probably spontaneously combust." I said and Dean chuckles then he leans down and kissed my cheek.

My heart leapt for joy once his lips touched my cheek. He pulls back and I look down, in embarrassment, then looked over at the boy, who had a look of shock on his face.

Then a woman enters the building, smiling at all of us. "Hi." She greets. "Hi." Dean and I greet. "Checking in?" She asked. "Yeah." Dean said then the woman turns to the boy. "Ahh, do me a favor, go get your brother some dinner." She said to him. "I'm helping a guest!" The boy exclaims.

She gives him a look and he grimaces and turns to go. The boy looks at us and scoffs before he turns to the back. "Will that be cash or credit?" The woman asked as she goes to the computer. "You take MasterCard?" Dean asked and she nods. "Perfect. Here you go." Dean said and he glances at me and I nod then he hands my card to the woman.

Then Dean stares ahead and I follow his gaze to see the boy pouring a glass of milk for a younger boy.

Flashback 

*3rd Person POV*

Sam and (y/n) were sitting at the table as Dean pours them a glass of milk. "When's Dad gonna get back?" Sam asked Dean as he grabs a pot from the stove. "Tomorrow." Dean replied. "When?" Sam asked as Dean brings the pot over and pours the contents into Sam's bowl and then (y/n)'s bowl. "I dunno. He and (father's name) usually come in late though. Now eat your dinner." Dean said to the young kids.

"I'm sick of scabetti-ohs." Sam whines as (y/n) begins to dig into her dinner. "Well -- You're the one who wanted 'em!" Dean said, slightly annoyed. "I want lucky charms!" Sam said. "There's no more lucky charms." Dean said.

"I saw the box!" Sam argues as (y/n) looks between the boys, she always hated it when they argued like this. "Okay, maybe there is but there's only enough for one bowl and I haven't had any yet." Dean said and Sam gives puppy dog eyes.

Dean sighs then grabs Sam's bowl. "I'll take it if he won't finish it." (Y/n) said just as Dean was about to go to the trash. Dean turns to her. "You sure?" He asked her and she nods. Dean goes and pours the contents out of Sam's bowl into her bowl then places Sam's bowl in the sink. He grabs the cereal box and thumps it on the table instead.

Sam reaches into the box and grabs the toy then holds it out to Dean. "D'you want the prize?" Sam asked him, smiling.

Present Day

*(y/n)'s POV*

"Sir?" The woman said as she holds out the card to Dean, who seemed like he was lost in his thoughts. "I'll take it." I said as I take the card and elbow Dean. "Sorry. Uh...Thanks." Dean said, once he comes back to reality.

Later, the boys and I were sitting in the motel room while Sam was looking at his laptop. "Well, you were right. Heh. It wasn't very easy to find but you were right. Shtriga is a kind of witch. They're Albanian, but legends about them trace back to Ancient Rome. They feed off spiritus vitae." Sam explains.

"Spiri-what?" Dean and I asked, confused. "Vitae. It's Latin, translates to breath of life. Kinda like your life force or essence." Sam explains. "Didn't the doctor say the kids' bodies were wearing out?" I asked Sam. "It's a thought. you know she takes your vitality maybe your immunity goes to hell, pneumonia takes hold. Anyway, shtrigas can feed off anyone but they prefer..." Sam said but then Dean and I finished his sentence.

"Children." We said and Sam nods.

"Yeah. Probably because they have stronger life force. And get this. Shtrigas are ...invulnerable to all weapons devised by God and man." Sam explains. "No, that's not right. She's vulnerable when she feeds." Dean said and Sam and I give him a curious look.

"What?" We said, confused "If you catch her when she's eating you can blast her with consecrated wrought iron. Ahhh... buckshots or rounds I think." Dean said. "How do you know that?" I asked him. "Dad told me. I remember." He said. "Oh." I said.

"So uh, anything else Dad might have mentioned?" Sam asked Dean. "Nope, that's it." Dean replied but Sam and I keep staring at him. The way Dean was talking it sounded like he knew more than he was letting on, which is odd for Dean.

"What?" Dean asked us. "Nothing." Sam and I said before Sam continues. "Okay. So, assuming we can kill it when it eats we still gotta find the thing first, which ain't gonna be a cakewalk. Shtrigas take on a human disguise when they're not hunting." Sam said.

"What kinda human disguise?" Dean asked him. "Historically, something innocuous. Could be anything, but it's usually a feeble old woman, which might be how the witches as old crones legend got started." Sam said then Sam crosses the room. "Hang on." He said.

"What?" Sam and I asked as Dean grabs a map. "Check this out. I marked down all the addresses of the victims. Now these are the houses that have been hit so far, and dead center?" Dean points out and my jaw drops. "The hospital." I said and Dean nods.

"The hospital. Now when we were there I saw a patient, an old woman." Dean said as he turns to us. "An old person huh?" Sam asked. "Yeah." Dean said. "In a hospital? Phew." I said, shaking my head and sniggering. "Better call the Coast Guard, Sam." I said and Sam laughs. "Well listen, smart-ass, she had an inverted cross hanging on her wall." Dean said and Sam and I look over at Dean, serious. "Well, why didn't you say so." I said as Dean raises an eyebrow at me.

That night, we come down the hallway of the hospital, but we quickly duck back when we see Dr Hydecker. "Good night Dr Hydecker." A nurse said. "See you tomorrow, Betty." Hydecker said. "Try to get some sleep." The nurse said.

The boys and I hide until Hydecker passes, then we continue on to the old woman's room. We open the door and sneak in, Dean taking the front and Sam and I hanging back, guns drawn.

The woman was in her wheelchair facing toward the corner. She seemed to be sleeping. Dean slowly leans in closer and closer to her face until she turns her head and yells. "Who the hell are you?!"

Dean freaks and leaping back against a wall cabinet, pulling his gun up. "Who's there? You trying to steal my stuff?" She asked then she grumbles to herself. "They're always stealing around here."

Sam turns the light on and I come up to her other side to see she has cataracts. "No! Ah, ma'am, we're maintenance. We're sorry. We thought you were sleeping." Sam said to her. "Ahhh, nonsense. I was sleeping with my peepers open." She said then she laughs and gestures at the wall.

"And fix that crucifix, would ya? I've asked four damn times already!" She exclaims. Dean, still looking slightly freaked out, jogs the crucifix and it swings the right way up.