#it's a nice way to see how i've grown as a writer

[mrcowboydeanwinchester]

i am in SUFFOLK i am on my annual COASTAL HOLIDAY and DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. it's MY YEARLY SELF INDULGENCE BEACH FIC TIMEEEE

[dizaryswrites]

I cannot emphasize how much *others* help my motivation to write.

Of course I'll get hit by moments of creativity and hyperfocus, (especially if I return to a wip after a long time away bc sometimes you need that space) but the times when I'm really pushed forward in plotting/writing/editing are thanks to conversations with friends or comments that are so passionate or detailed. It makes me eager to share more because incredibly, others like the little stories in my head.

Working on non-fandom writing can be hard, I lost my community there and it's lonely. But with fanfic? The main draw is engaging.

How do you find the motivation to write?

The longer, detailed comments on fics I've worked really hard on that pull out the individual writing choices and describe why they liked them. Those are like heaven to me. I can't count the number of times I've gotten one on a longer, semi-abandoned WIP and thought to myself "wow, if someone else sees all of those choices that way, maybe it isn't a terrible story. maybe it is worth writing for again."

Outside of that, I treat it a little bit like I treat exercise. It's something I try to do weekly, or on some sort of routine schedule. If I go without writing for too long, I check in to see what's up. Is it because of a lack of energy? Etc.

Surrounding yourself with other writers or creatives really helps too. Being in Discords where people are sprinting or doing challenges really helps normalize it for your brain. And for some people, even just reading other's fanworks keeps their brain invested in their own writing, though I personally struggle to read in the same fandom as I write in at the same time.

[love-byers]

(warning: long)

we should talk more about mikes choice of words in the rink o mania fight, or rather the writers choice of words

"You basically sabotaged the whole day!!"

sabotage

in case you need a reminder of what sabotage means

deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct

mike is not just saying will was being a douche for moping, rolling his eyes, and barely talking. he's saying wills a douche because he's doing it on purpose. not even just on purpose either, he's saying will planned this. will wanted to ruin the day. mike thinks will was out to get him by withholding his friendship. obviously will wasn't doing any of this, he just moped because he felt brushed off by mike and was ignored (or so he thought).

that kind of behavior, thinking the consequences of his own actions are a planned attack against him, is very consistent with the way he acted in s3 when el dumped him and he blamed it on max.

we can connect this directly to mike's apology where he calls himself a self-pitying idiot. the self-pity is mike allowing himself to believe it's not his fault that his day sucked, that it's not his fault will is acting this way. deep down he knows it's his own fault by purposefully brushing will off at the airport, but he was being so self-absorbed and self-pitying that he convinced himself it wasn't.

"why is this on me?? why am i the bad guy??"

so lets go through this again, inferring from mike's own words.

when will left hawkins, he felt weird. he'd just spent the whole summer trying to be grown up and acting like he didn't care about dnd anymore, shutting will down and really hurting him in the process, so he probably feels embarrassed that he now feels the exact opposite. he enjoyed spending time with max, lucas, and dustin but it just wasn't the same without will. he missed will so badly that the fact that will was barely reaching out got to his head, and he felt too insecure to find out for himself. he didn't know if will felt the same way or if he was doing fine without mike, making lots of new friends and enjoying life. he was afraid he'd lost will. then here comes el with her letters saying how life is awesome and they have lots of friends. mike probably thought, oh now i'm DEFINITELY not telling him how i feel. the letter about will potentially liking a girl was the final straw. wow. so he's occupied with some girl and thats why he won't talk to me. so now mikes determined to not give will an inkling of an idea that he's bothered or that he cares. psh, mike could care less. maybe when will sees that mike totally doesn't care he'll feel like he screwed up and he'll be super nice to compensate and win mike back.

so mike gets to lenora and hey, will, i totally don't care about seeing you, see how i dodged your hug? i don't care. then he sees the painting. maybe it's not for someone he likes, maybe it's for me. here you go will, opportunity one to win back my affection.

"Uh, what's that?"

"Um, it's nothing, it's just this painting I've been working on."

"Cool."

operation-act like i don't care: EEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FAILED.

LOOK at his face bro. he looks heartbroken.

from here on mike just got more and more annoyed. will isn't trying to win him back, he isn't compensating for the months of silence. he's acting sad. he's acting sad? he has the audacity to act sad after he made all these friends and left me behind?? no, this is not my fault, this is not on me. it gets under his skin in a way he can't ignore. those feelings of guilt and annoyance that will is causing mixed with his months worth of self pity and convincing himself he's not the problem leads him to another thought. he's doing this on purpose. he's punishing me. this was his plan all along. he's trying to ruin my day for no reason, because i clearly didn't do anything to deserve this.

then angela shows up and humiliates el and mike, for some insane reason, uses this as an excuse to express his anger to will, even though it had literally nothing to do with will.

"You should've told me she was having trouble."

"Well, I didn't know they were gonna be here, Mike."

"Yeah, but you knew she was having trouble for like a year and didn't tell me."

in WHAT world is this will's fault?? he had absolutely no idea el was lying until that day. and mike is blaming him? no, he's really not, he just wants a reason to express his anger without having to admit why he's angry.

"Well, I didn't know she was lying to you."

"Is that why you decided to be a douche to her all day?"

her. he's hiding behind el's name. psh, what? i don't care that you weren't talking to me, it's because of el.

el just got publicly humiliated and mike thinks now is the time to get on will and act like el's biggest problem was will not talking to her?? no way. he just doesn't want will to know that these are his feelings.

"I wasn't being a douche!"

this completely sets mike off. how dare will act all innocent after what he did to me all day? any part of him that was trying to hide that will's behavior is bothering him has been completely overridden. will purposefully withholding his attention from mike has pissed him off soooooo badly that he can't keep it to himself anymore or hide behind el.

"You were! You were! You were rolling your eyes, you were moping, you were barely talking you basically sabotaged the whole day!"

yup, thats right will. i know exactly what you're doing and i'm calling you out on it.

"Well she was lying to you, Mike! Straight to your face ever since you got here! And...and I've been a total third wheel all day it's been miserable. So sorry if I wasn't...if i wasn't smiling."

third wheel? really?

"Yeah, whatever man."

"Well what about us?"

"What?"

i imagine this is where mike shits himself. i mean he literally stops in his tracks. will is directly addressing what he'd been trying to hide his care for the whole time, them. all of a sudden after all these months, he cares about us? and it's poking at that weird feeling he had, like he missed will too much. like he was feeling too much.

"What, you're mad that I didn't talk to you? Seems like you've made it super clear you're not interested in anything I have to say."

"That's just not true."

mike says that so fast it's like a knee-jerk reaction. of course he cares what will has to say. all he's wanted all day, and all this time for that matter, was for will to talk to him. and will is blaming him?

"You called maybe a couple times. It's been a year, Mike. Meanwhile El has like a book of letters from you."

now mike's defense is kicking in. he feels like will is directly picking at that feeling. the weirdness. the fact that he feels differently for will than the rest of his friends, even his girlfriend.

"That's because she's my girlfriend, Will!"

"And us?"

now the alarms are going off. he knows something. "us" for will in this moment is just their friendship. "us" for mike is something more, because that's what's been brewing in him the whole time they've been apart. internalized homophobia in 3..2..

"We're friends! We're. Friends."

"Well, we used to be best friends!"

oh. he was just talking about our friendship. i was tweaking a little bit. and...ouch. will just officially said they aren't best friends anymore. and he's blaming it on mike. but mikes defenses are still up high.

"Well...well maybe you should've reached out more, I don't know! But why is this on me? Why am I the bad guy?!"

then will is lost for words, and he just look sad. and as mad as mike is, he hates seeing will that way.

i imagine the day or two between this and his apology, mike went over this fight in his mind multiple times. and the more he thought about it, the more he realizes, ah shit. i was way too in my head and this was completely one sided. will wasn't plotting against me, i just felt so bad for myself i convinced myself i did nothing wrong. all this because i thought he found new friends and i felt bad for myself. and now i've lost my best friend and made him feel like all of it is his fault. i have to let him know it's all on me.

tldr: mike is weird and gay.

[olderthannetfic]

Genuine question: what's the point of writing fanfic? As in, what's the purpose? No one in the fandom I'm in comments on fics and I even got told off by one person for doing so, as it "encourages bad writers and makes them think they're good". So it seems that it's a lot like book writing, where people work hard and are creative, but instead of getting paid and getting comments on the work, you just sit there silently hoping someone will press the kudos button and make a number go up. I feel like that time and work could be better spent on making something you might get some kind of profit off of. Don't get me wrong, I love doodling fanart, but I don't post it, as I'm aware that there's no point to doing so, and while it's a nice way to fill the time on a commute, it's not something that takes me as much time and effort as fanfic does. So... why do people bother? Sometimes I describe ideas I have and people I know in my fandom will tell me I should write it, but I don't see why. I get more interaction from just saying "imagine if [thing here]" than I would by sitting down, writing for hours, editing and posting [thing here], so what would the point be? I'm not punching down or going "haha women and their fanfic lol!", I genuinely do not get what the point is and this blog feels like it might have someone reading who knows the answer.

--

Do you make art for profit? Genuine question.

There's nothing inherently wrong with being motivated primarily by external factors, but it's not actually why a lot of people create things, whether it's books or recipes or doodles in a notepad.

I enjoy the actual process of writing.

I think many people lose sight of that aspect in an era where tons of <500-word fics that are mostly outlines and "Imagine if..." posts get disproportionate attention for being easy to consume. But the satisfaction of doing a bigger art piece and doing it right is real and motivates a hell of a lot of creation.

I suppose you might be thinking "Okay, but why not just write it alone and never post?", but I like sharing. Showing off my finished creation is part of the joy, and sharing with other people like me is too. But those aren't quite the same thing as worrying about kudos. It's like dressing nicely when you leave the house because you feel great when you know you look good vs. needing another person to tell you you look good.

To be honest, though, this type of feeling has grown in me the better I've gotten at a craft. The closer my finished projects get to the vision in my head, the easier it is to find them fulfilling and to be excited to share them. When I fall short of my own ambitions, it's discouraging no matter how much attention I might get from others.

I feel like it's time for my regular reblog of Adam Westbrook's video essay series The Long Game.

The third and least known in the series is all about this idea of who you're making art for if you're not getting material rewards in the short term. It talks a lot about autotelicity—being internally driven instead of externally.

--

But if you really just want clicks, anon, start a blog that accepts anon asks and posts about wanky stuff. Actually tag things, unlike me, so people can find you.

No, writing for attention isn't worth it.

The time investment is too great and your brain will always fixate on the times people didn't respond instead of the times they did.

But that's not actually why most people write.

[jules-writes-stories]

First JEL is a beautiful love story. rly. Its the Azris ! but I think you ruined it a little when you made Eris top in your update, I just can't picture Eris topping a big masculin tattoeed batboy like Az. your Eris has a nose ring, pretty hair and is soft with his mum. I just can't picture him topping Az. the romance in it is top tier and smut is top tier til now. your ocs are rly hot-Mithras I see as bottom and silvan a top. that makes sense to me. and the action and plot is 10/10, so I will keep reading but Eris toping gave me the ick. I just don't see it and hope it doesn't turn pl of from yr story and make ur readers or kudos go down bc its such a beautiful love story !!!

Anon,

I wasn't planning to reply. I deleted your first 3 messages this morning. I told myself that responding would give my story, a story that's 200,000 words and taken months of my life to write, the wrong kind of attention.

But as I watched the messages roll in, now at 9, the thought of you holding my inbox hostage started to stress me out. So here we are.

I'll start with the angel on my shoulder. She thanks you for calling Just Enough Light a love story, because that was always my intention. To write a beautiful, heart wrenching love story for a fictional character I've come to care deeply about. (Yep, I know...silly) But I think I know what's going on here, anon.

You love Eris Vanserra too, don't you? You picture him, and maybe Azriel, a certain way, and that was comfy and nice, and you were settled in, then I went and "switched" that on you and that felt uncomfortable because now the Eris that you've grown to love is different from how you want him to be. It's ok to feel unhappy with my choices as a writer. I'm low key touched that you are invested enough to feel this intensely. But it's not ok to bombard my inbox, or tell me I've ruined my own story.

Because here's the other thing: JEL is a love story, but it's always been an unapologetically queer love story. And my Eris is a queer male. He's not a stand in for a girl. He can have pretty hair, love his mother, wear jewelry and eyeliner and top his masculine, tattooed Illyrian lover. These things can coexist. One should not read a M/M love story and try to force it into a hetero-framework even if that's what one feels more comfortable with. I challenge you to read JEL as it is: an unapologetically queer love story between two queer characters.

And if this is something you cannot do, you are free to click away and find a story or a ship that is more within your comfort zone. I'll be sad to lose readers, but I would rather write for myself than compromise my story in this way.

Now, if you're still with me, the devil on my shoulder wants you to know that I think my smut was hot AF this week and I'm proud of it. I make Azris hurt, but I give them good loving too.

I won't be taking any more anons that are anti top Eris or anti bottom-Az. But if you want to talk more, come out of anon and let's talk. I'm open to civil discourse.

[strawberries-and-summer-days]

NICE TO OFFICIALLY MEET YOU ‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅

| percy jackson x popstar au

| au masterlist ☽

warnings: swearing and i think thats just about it!

a/n: writers block hit so hard guys its not even funny apt. anyway hope you enjoy pt 3!! im also using show! clarisse as my description

"LIA!!!!" you screech when you storm into the apartment. when she doesn't reply you get even more pissed. who the hell wakes someone up at 2 am tell them they desperately need to come over to their house now because its an emergency and then proceed to lock them out in the cold for half a goddamn hour.

"lia i swear to god im going to kick your fucking ass back to london if you don't come out here right now," you yell not even caring at this point if you wake anyone up.

"heyyy bestie," lia says coming out of the kitchen with a smile. "so glad you could make it."

from the threatening look on your face, her smile quickly fades. "ok, ok so i know its early-"

"its two-fucking-am lia, you're so very lucky that i don't kill you for this because for some reason, i've grown attached to your need self."

"i'm irreplaceable," she says. "anyway thats not why i called you here, i met some people on the subway the other day who want to meet you."

"you called me here.... to meet fans?" you say in a deathly calm tone. "lia... ITS 2:30 IN THE MORNING COULDN'T THIS WAIT UNTIL I DUNNO LIKE TEN?" you yell launching after her.

"no it couldn't wait! because this is a secret meeting, huhhh? how cool is that?" lia says running away from you into the living room. you follow after her determined to actually kill the little shit but stop short when you see three people standing and watching the ordeal.

two girls and a boy - the boy is jumping up and down with barely restrained excitement, the blonde girl is smiling, and the final girl is just watching with barely restrained boredom.

"y/n, this is grover, clarisse and annabeth." lia motions to the three of them.

you smile as politely as one can at 2:30 am and say hi back. the boy - grover - is still practically buoyant when you look at him, and its generally concerning how much energy he has.

"soo, uh what's up?" clarisse says awkwardly.

"yeah y'know nothing much, just being dragged out of bed at 2 o'clock in the morning to meet some people- by the way does he ever stop jumping?" you point to a still jumping grover. "like dude its wayy to early to be this energetic."

"no. unfortunately he's like this all the time," the brunette - clarrise - says.

"i'm sorry," grover interrupts, "im just such a huge fan of you. and i would've gotten into trouble if i had told my friend we were meeting you so thats why its at such an awful hour."

"your friend doesn't like me?"

"... he's not your biggest fan thats for sure."

☾. ⋅

yn.official

liked by underovergrover, lia.mandel, rileywest maisiehpeters, gracieabrams and 1, 268, 941 others

yn.official life recently...

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lia.mandel girls night was fun!! @/rileywest sad ur leaving again

riley.west im afraid london calls babes i'll see you girls when i get back

yn.official can't wait 🤍

user1 OMGGG SHE'S IN THE STUDIO?? AHHH

user2 what is with the studio pic?!?!?!?

user3 grover (one of percy's friends) liked the post they're totally fucking

user4 ew can you not be so gross?? just leave percy and y/n alone

user5 im dyinggg until my show!! only 3 to go ahhh

user6 THE STUDIO PIC?? AND ON TOP OF THAT THE TOUR ENDING AND PERCYY/N RUMOURS?? my heart can't take this anymore.

☾. ⋅

percyjackson

liked by underovergrover, chris.rodriguez, lukecastellan, clarisse.la.rue, the.annabethchase, lia.mandel, rileywest and 863, 459 others

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user1 NO NO PLS NOT THE MATCHING CAPTIONS ONE MINUTE WITHIN EACH OTHER ITS SO OBVIOUS

user2 he's so hot it hurts guys

user3 THE POSTS?!?!? AT THE SAME TIME!!!!

underovergrover that was an awful party man just thought i should let you know

percyjackson thanks g man i had absolutely no idea maybe next time don't text me abt how awful it is in front of the hosts

user4 THE MATCHING CAPTIONS AND THEIR FRIEND LIKING THE OTHERS POSTS. MAKE IT MORE OBVIOUS WOULD YOU??

user5 i ship them so hard fr

user6 yeah but there is literally ANOTHER girl in the post

the.annabethchase i wonder what amazing girl is in the second photo...

☾. ⋅

"fucking y/n," percy grumbles. "i cannot do a single thing without her showing up," he scoffs throwing the phone down onto the car seat beside him. he's currently sat outside a prestigious event - for what? who knows - contemplating whether he should go in because he knows for a fact the-person-who-shall-not-be-named is in there.

sighing he picks his phone up again and gets out of the car heading towards the bustling entryway to the building. men and women in fancy dresses and suits line the hallways as and elevators as he makes his way to the rooftop.

grover and luke are already here so his first goal is to find them, avoid being sucked into any weird business deals and do not under any circumstances run into y/n.

the elevator opens and he moves out onto the rooftop, the cool breeze brushing his face, the smell of alcohol and perfume fills the air. its almost peaceful as he makes his way to the edge of building leaning on the railing to take in the view.

"quiet a view isn't it?" a voice comes from beside him.

aw fuck.

he spins around and comes face to face with the one person he was determined to avoid.

"nice to officially meet you percy jackson," you say holding out your hand.

he takes it to be polite, "right back at you y/n l/n."

☾. ⋅

☾. ⋅

TAGLIST‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅ [if you're name is white it mean i couldn't tag you]

@lauptimist, @itzmeme, @mariaaaaaahhhh, @paankhaleyaar, @maybxlle,

@lara20aral, @cxp1d, @user-3113s-blog, @pleasingregulus,

@avihashearts4lix, @inlovewithmorales, @brokecollegebitch, @user-3113s-blog, @officiallyalbino

@gloryhaddock [if you want to be added just let me know!]

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

My Work on Archive Of Our Own

Please ignore if me gushing about the reception of my fics is irritating. I understand there are some people who genuinely hate when fanfic writers do this, so I'm putting it under the cut so you don't have to see it!

(And fair warning; if this irritates you and you still decide to click 'keep reading' and you then decide that I am obviously up myself so I deserve a hate anon or several, I need to preemptively remind you that I gave you the choice not to engage. You will be blocked and I shall call you a silly little guy if you do this.)

I also would like to make this an invitation to anyone who wants to share their proudest stats, or a nice comment they got, or even just something they are really really happy about in having written their fic. (No need to click read more, just go for it and use this as your excuse to show some pride.) On any platform!

Gonna tag the following: @lya-dustin @ewanmitchellcrumbs @the-common-cowgirl @the-wonderland-madnesss @marthawrites

@vampire-exgirlfriend @exitpursuedbyavulcan @emilykaldwen @ripdragonbeans @aegonx

Feel free to turn this into a pass-on game, if you like! We should celebrate the things that make us happy, too. ❤️

I've not ever really posted about this because, IDK, I worry about being considered a conceited asshole. I figure, though, that this is my blog and my safe space and if I want to celebrate something I'm proud of then I should be able to do so. Nor am I implying that I believe this is any sort of metric of popularity or superiority, OR that I write for the sole purpose of validation through clicks and numbers. I have very little interest in engaging with any of that rhetoric. NO. It's just a convenient bonus, kinda like how I love my job and the fact I get paid is awesome but not my primary reason for doing it.

Okay, I think I've got the disclaimers out the way? (Can never be too sure with fandom.)

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reads my stuff. Not only on here, but on Archive Of Our Own, which is more or less a place I consider the Ultimate Fanfiction Site (TM). It used to be fanfiction.net for me, but then their ads got annoying and their content ban gross, so AO3 it is! I've read fanfiction on AO3 since I was like 13, and I still find it crazy beyond belief that my work is not only on there, but that it gets any sort of traction at all.

As a little acknowledgement of something I'm proud of, I wanted to document my stats on my big series, terms of endearment, as of June 2024. It is by and large the biggest project I have ever done, and I've poured countless hours of researching, writing and editing into it.

darilaros (princess)

Words: 48,843 Comments: 254 Kudos: 801 Bookmarks: 111 Hits: 21,971

gevivys (beauty)

Words: 52,147  Comments: 578  Kudos: 2,965  Bookmarks: 490  Hits: 106,019

dōnus riñus (sweet girl)

Words: 58,775 Comments: 660 Kudos: 3,414 Bookmarks: 635 Hits: 141,339

ilībītsos (little slut)

Words: 62,725 Comments: 556 Kudos: 1,880 Bookmarks: 289 Hits: 99,939

ñuhus prūmȳs (my heart)

Words: 104,063 Comments: 1,188 Kudos: 2,274 Bookmarks: 368 Hits: 110,356

jorrāeliarzus (beloved) (ongoing)

Words: 38,451 Comments: 234 Kudos: 454 Bookmarks: 86 Hits: 16,208

That makes for a total of 365,004 words; 3,470 comments; 11,788 kudos; 1979 bookmarks; and 495,832 hits. Jesus Christ.

To everyone who kudos'ed, commented, bookmarked, subscribed or even just clicked on the link to the fic, thank you very much. This series has grown and grown, not just in my head but also in audience. It's given me so much encouragement and support in my writing, and a feeling like maybe I am decent at this? I don't know. I used to write when I was a kid, but I stopped during high school. Rediscovering the joy of it hasn't just been rewarding in terms of having fun with it, but also in discovering that there are people who genuinely want to read what I'm putting out. I've spent a lot of my life feeling powerless and silenced, so this really means so much to me.

I am going to keep on writing for as long as I possibly can, because I genuinely haven't found a hobby as long-lived and fulfilling as this.

Thank you. I'm so very lucky. I'm so grateful. I love you all!

[backjustforberena]

I think some of you here are overly indulgent with Corlys and tend to overly romanticize his relationship with Rhaenys. I believe the issue stems from projecting Eve and Steve's relationship onto these characters.

Hello, anon. I hope you're doing well. I debated long and hard about how to reply to this. I don't know who the "some of you here" is referring to so the first thing I would like to say is that I'm just talking about myself. Also that your phrasing is rude.

This is my response to your accusation that I overly romanticise the relationship between Corlys and Rhaenys, and specifically do so by projecting the relationship of Eve Best and Steve Toussaint onto those characters. I'll take it point by point and, please do feel free to get back in touch in case anything isn't clear enough for you.

I would very much like it if you could credit me with the intelligence to be able to differentiate between an actor and a character. I do not believe I have ever created a scenario, a headcanon or an interpretation about this ship from the way that Eve and Steve interact with one another. Eve is not Rhaenys. Steve is not Corlys. They are very little like their characters. Their relationship, certainly, is nothing like the relationship that is shared between the characters they play on screen. It also has no bearing on how that relationship is portrayed on screen, beyond what the work asks of them in fulfilling their jobs to bring these scripts to life.

To suggest that I am somehow "projecting" romance onto Rhaenys and Corlys from the way the actors interact is not only unfair and baseless, it is also illogical. What romance is there to be gained by projecting a completely platonic four-year friendship of two colleagues onto a "love match" marriage that has lasted over thirty years?

Eve Best and Steve Toussaint are a joy on the press circuit. I have found much happiness in watching their interviews, seeing them be playful with one another and having a nice time. They are friends. That is where it ends. The only thing that I take from Eve and Steve to then apply to the way I think about Corlys and Rhaenys is what they say about Corlys and Rhaenys. Nothing else.

What an actor says about their character is important because that is what they are playing, and thinking, and feeling about a scene. That is reliable information in which you can then build an opinion of a character and of a ship. Just as you might listen to a showrunner or a writer or a director speaking about the same thing. And I do do that. I find great happiness in hearing their insights. That, however, has nothing to do with who Steve and Eve are as people or how they are with one another.

I have never done anything or created a thought that has no textual basis from either within the show or from other equally valid sources such as interviews. And I resent the implication that I do.

The relationship of Corlys and Rhaenys does not need to be over-romanticised. It is romantic. Is there hurtful, painful or otherwise unidealistic behaviour involved? Of course. It's a grown-up, complex relationship that navigates a lot of flaws, failings, betrayals and losses. I've never shied away from that aspect. They are not a perfect couple. That is evident.

But I don't need to over-romanticise them when I have canon quotes such as "I wonder if they knew it was all for her", "We are at war, Corlys. If something were to befall you…" and "And I would remedy that small-minded error by any means", as well as various other moments, actions, and scenes.

I don't need to over-romanticise when I have interview quotes, referring to Corlys as Rhaenys's "beloved husband" and Rhaenys as "the woman he loves". The thing that Eve and Steve were told, by the showrunners, at the outset, is that this couple is in love. It was a love match.

If Steve says that Corlys feels the fragility in the relationship then I take that on board and I look at how he might be trying to address that. If Even says Rhaenys is feeling the fragility in the relationship, I will also take that on board and see where she might be receiving that message. Likewise, if Steve says scenes reminded him of what Rhaenys and Corlys might have been like when younger, I will look for that. If Eve says that Rhaenys and Corlys still maintain a "rocking sex life" then I will take that and run with it. That's not over-romanticising, that's just being informed.

And if I were to over-romanticise them, then I certainly would not take anything from the way Eve and Steve are with one another because it is not relevant, applicable, or even helpful. It is also rude to do so with any serious intent because they are real people, whereas Rhaenys and Corlys are fictional.

In terms of being "overly indulgent", I'd be very grateful if you could tell me any specific examples, because god forbid I find enjoyment out of shipping and generally interacting with the idea of this couple and their arc. I won't apologise for finding something that brings me joy, and I won't be shamed for it, especially when I pride myself in being logical and always having basis in text and perspective. If you have a different opinion than me, then that is fine. But allow me mine, and do not imply that no thought or the wrong thought has gone into my opinion.

A ship is supposed to be romantic. This ship is romantic. That is just a fact. The relationship between the two is romantic. From the first scene they share together, to the last. Shipping hurts no one, it brings joy, and it is, I would argue, the whole gosh darn point of it all. There are far worse ships to be shipping than a middle-aged married couple, be honest. If I am indulgent, then thank goodness because it makes me smile.

[ultfreakme]

Just this week, I had to interact with extremely racist rhetoric about Asians with a de-ager that genuinely put me in a bad spot mentally, but i dud it becayse i thought that person coud be educated. Since 2021, I've had to watch as droves of people commented & replied & posted racist, xenophobic, biphobic arguments about JayJon simply because they didn't enjoy teen Jon. Arguments saying Jay, who in the story is an immigrant freedom fighter, is a terrorist. Arguments saying Jon right now is better off dead which mocked teen Jon fans for finding any aspect of Jon's bisexuality relatable.

I've been trying to be polite & mostly keeping my thoughts offline the wider Internet & public platforms for YEARS. I know of multiple POC (specifically Asian) Jon & Jay stans who have had to go inactive or delete accounts, because certain people have decided even EXPRESSING, merely saying you like Jon as he is now warrants a witch hunt & microaggressions which they assume is "harmless" because they're unwilling to examine any of their own biases. On top of that, rn many queer DC creatives are also constantly getting harassed and literal war criminals are being upheld as good writers, purely for fanon ship reasons.

Do you have any idea how fucking tiresome it is, to fight conservatives who want my meager rights gone online spewing homophobia because Superman came out, alongside comic fans who gladly take up similar arguments just to get their headcanons to be real? Do you have any idea the mental toll it takes, seeing a character who represents real life struggles of fighting against colonialism who LOOKS so much like thousands of queer POC kids, be called a terrorist & a villain because he is in love with a white character?? Not for any grand reason. SOLELY because he's paired with Jon.

Why should we be nice & polite when all it has gotten me in return is trying to explain to people that hey calling freedom fighters terrorists in a story about US hegemony and saying the bi rep is "not correct" is just fuelling bigotry?

But when teen Jon fans make stupid jokes & give slight pushback, we're the bad guys.

You are not the victim. There's literally thousands of you and like, 10 of us who consistently post. DC comics does not have a grand agenda against you, white boy character enjoyer.

The least we ask for is to leave us alone & just let us enjoy canon Jon in peace but we can't post a meta thread or fanart or fucking ANYTHING without people calling us fake fans & throwing in a little bigoted comment to top it all off. Block us. Again, there's like 10 accounts.

Go through the tumblr tag rn, 90% of it is kid Jon posts. We can't have that fucking 10% though can we? No,that'd be the....idfk the DC agenda of the totally scary homeless freedom fighter boy manipulating the pure, totally powerless white boy who can literally topple nations if he wanted and is a grown man. 👏👏👏👏 congrats, you've identified the Agenda & defeated The Evil by putting down POC characters, their struggles, & looking down upon bi repbecause it diesnt specifically fot your vision of bisexuality or your experience. Oh and also, a bunch of marginalized DC craeatives probably hate you. You know, with all the insults thrown their way for their efforts (because Conservative Propaganda man and War Criminal will get the queer experience far better than the trans activists & queer writers).

[eponastory]

Hi blackbullet99! It's nice to see you make these accusations that are taken out of context.

First of, THERE IS NO COMPARISON BETWEEN AANG AND OZAI!

Aang may be a bad dad by playing favorites, but he doesn't manipulate, abuse, and outright physically harm his children. None of us think that. Only Kataangers have pointed that out.

Aang is also not a budding Sex Criminal... he just did something stupid that made all of us uncomfortable because this was a show written in the mid-00s... SA was usually covered up and brushed under the rug or even worse, made to be completely okay. I should know, I was alive then and very much a victim of stupid boys doing stupid shit. Trust me it's not fun. They knew what they were doing, just like Aang's writers did. Does that make him a sex criminal? No, it just makes Bryke look really bad for putting that in there. Aang's a fictional character.

As far as Katara's relationship with Aang...

Baby-maker? That's what I've seen Kataang shippers point out more than Zutara shippers.

Mother figure? Yeah, that's her role. That's the role Bryke gave her, and it sucks because she has to deal with a literal child. A grown man that has temper tantrums. I will not deny that accusation because that's definitely there.

It's not that Kataang is the problem. It's just Aang.

We don't hate Katara, we love her and want justice for her character (that was written by two white men in the mid-00s) and reduced to the typical Christian Wife.

I'm being serious on that one. (Christians, I'm going to be real, my religious trauma does not reflect all of Christianity, just certain beliefs) having grown up to believe my purpose in life was to marry, have my husbands children, and be submissive to said husband, is not good. And that's pretty much what Bryke did to Katara.

That and the butchered many different cultures and beliefs.

But yeah. The problem IS Bryke and the way they wrote Aang.

You are just repeating the same drivel over and over again because someone said it first, and you agree with it. The person who said it first is the one who took everything out of context and said this is how to start a cult!

So yeah. Keep being a broken record. At least we came to the conclusion on our own.

And yes, you can fuck off.

[momentomori24]

Long-ass fandom rant because I need to scream into the void to find a reason to live let's gooooo

[For context I wrote most of this last friday which I thought was good to mention so the timeline makes a bit more sense. I really held off on this one XD Welp, let's start this trainwreck.]

Ok, I know I have other long posts I should be paying attention to (*cough* Keiji's shady shenanigans rant *cough*) among other probably more important things, but quickly wanna get this off my chest because it's kinda started to bug me and add even more concerns about the yttd fandom than I already have. This is specifically going to be about soushin-- yeah, yeah, I know-- but also bleed into something more... broad. Or broader. Idk, I'm a Tumblr user not a grammar teacher.

While browsing through Twitter I've been noticing a little spike in popularity for yttd with more fans and soushin shippers emerging as well. Which is cool, the game deserves all the praise and popularity it can get. And as someone whose been here for years, I'm glad that the fandom is slowly and steadily grown more accepting of soushin compared to the attitude around it way back when. There's been some genuinely really cool stuff that really does the ship justice from a lot of talented artist and writers that I absolutely love (will link some later), but something I've also been seeing a lot of from fans is what I can only describe as a "sanitisation resurgence" (but not really. kinda). A week or two ago on Twitter I stumbled across some soushin discourse where some people were sharing the sentiment that "if soushin end up being related and/or have a big age gap the ship is ruined". That they can only be two years apart max or else Nankidai has "fumbled them".

And the only response to that I had is "what". Like, how is that a deal breaker to you lot? How did you even get into the ship without accepting that those things could very likely end up being canon? How are you here and not ready to ship them no matter what's revealed about them after everything we've learned about them? Midori and Shin possibly being related was always on the table, and Midori potentially having already been an adult when Shin was in high school was always a very real possibility ever since we learned that he was never actually a student at his school. This is literally what soushin shippers got harassed by antis for years ago. Soushin is "problematic", and that's why people who shipped them where treated so badly in the fandom or just excluded all together. I can't count how many timed I've come across a "soushin shippers dni" or "soushiners are freaks and I hope you all have a bad day" or soushin fanfics/art with "I DON'T ACTUALLY SHIP IT BTW" and "not a ship" and "actual soushin shippers dni" attached to it. I can't recall how many times I had to explain myself with the "I ship but I don't condone it irl" or explain why I shipped them to not be labelled as a freak as if you need an excuse to ship anything fictional to begin with. I still remember soushin artist @uououoon and how they ended up deleting their Twitter account years ago because of the harassment and slanderous comments they were receiving for ships the fandom deemed problematic. When a person was saying their goodbyes to them on reddit and made some goodbye art (which is now deleted), some assholes in the comments were calling them weirdos and pedophiles for how they explored fiction and "glorified abuse" (which are the usual comments to uououoon's art posted on reddit unfortunately). I only caught wind of this one because back when they were still active in the fandom they were my favourite soushin artist and I went through their stuff almost every day and was tipped off when I randomly couldn't find their account anymore. They were such a nice and incredibly talented person too so the fact they essentially got bullied by a flock of stupid western fans seriously irritates me thinking about it again. This is why we cannot have nice things.

Soushin is "problematic". It's toxic and subtly abusive and important to the characters in question, but that didn't stop people from going after people who wanted to explore a dark, canon relationship (romantic, platonic or otherwise). How the actual hell did we go from "soushin has very toxic and problematic elements and you shouldn't be shipping it, you fucking freaks" to "you can ship it but don't make it actually problematic, you fucking freaks" like what is happening right now???? The worst part is that this is coming from other soushin shippers. The fact that there's actually soushiners with "proshippers dni" or "soushin is not for proship" genuinely makes me want to bite someone. Like, you horrible summer child-- not only are you demonstrating that you don't even know what "proship" actually means, but you're also spitting in the face of the people in our community that have CARRIED this ship for us for years. Why throw them under the bus to be one of the “good ones” in the eyes of antis when they hate us all anyway?

This brings us back to the sanitisation point: I feel like soushin is slowly being "sanitised" to fit the sensitive palette of antis by trying to make them as "morally acceptable" as possible. It's a worry I’ve had for a long time that once the fandom grows more accepting of the ship we'll be seeing more people basically scrubbing soushin of everything that made, well, soushin, to justify enjoying it. I've seen a bit of it already with a few people trying to say it's "not abusive" or just erase Shin's very obvious trauma by Midori all together for quite some time. Guess it's starting to happen on a bigger scale sooner rather than later. Maybe. Personally I don't think soushin having a big age gap or being related would ruin the ship. It just adds another layer of fucked up to their already fucked up relationship (I already hc Midori to be significantly older anyway so maybe I'm just biased). It doesn't really matter. I came here for toxic yaoi. I want nuclear waste level toxicity, not nuclear waste level toxicity presented in the most conventional and moral way possible. What would the point even be? It’s like packaging poison in a grape juice box. Like, it might be harmless to look at and more justifiable to think of as delicious, but it’s still poison. You making it look all cute and innocent isn’t going to change that. It's kinda funny and by that I mean not really that people will talk about wanting more "toxic yaoi" but when the yaoi is actually toxic and messy and horrific they will cry about it being "bad" or "ruined". You don't actually want dark dynamics, you want dark dynamics stripped of everything that makes them uncomfortable and dark so it's digestible to your tastes that don't even align with said dynamics in the first place. The worst part of this whole "soushin isn't proship so it's fine" bullshit is that it relies on trying to make the ship more "morally acceptable" or "legal" than other ships. Dawg, we are talking about abuse. You shouldn't be minimising that to say "well it's not [insert other terrible thing] so it's fine!!" That's not the "gotcha" you think it is. It’s one of the reasons why antis being into soushin made me feel weird cuz like you can’t ship it and then turn around to insult someone else, man (I’ve seen so many soushin defenders bash other “proships” to justify theirs like what are you doing--).

Realistically, the simplest and smartest thing to do when I see someone mischaracterise or butcher my faves is to either block or ignore and pretend to not care so I don't act on my sixth sense telling me to off them and myself. Realistically, this shouldn't be a big deal or anything that important, but this attitude is usually weaponized to harm and harass people who don't conform to their purity crisis over fiction. I'm in the unfortunate position of being not only a Your Turn to Die fandom dweller, but a Hazbin Hotel and The Coffin of Andy and Leyley one too. I'm used to being labelled a rapist and incest apologist irl who's delusional and deserves to be harassed and insulted by virtue of the media or ships I like (probably not a good thing). But people who are more active in these fandoms than me have it much worse as they get this shit directly waaaay more often while I mostly get called these things indirectly, which is what motivated me more to make this post.

So a couple days ago someone made some art of Monika from ddlc, Nikole (don't know the game sorry) and Ashley from Tcoaal. A lot of people on Twitter, unsurprisingly, bashed it for including Ashley to the point where some felt the need to clarify that they like her as a character but her actions (for some reason I do not understand like Monika has also done some seriously evil shit why are you not applying that logic to her too?). What struck me the most is that a yttd fan-- a self proclaimed "Midori enthusiast"-- ALSO quoted it to bash having Ashley in it. A freaking Midori fan. I told them to mind their business and start separating fiction and reality and to stop being a hypocrite, and thus ensued the most hilarious and stupidest convo I've had in a while:

You can literally count the seconds it takes for these guys to start throwing predator accusations and slurs at people. So "not exploring fiction correctly" makes me weird, but harming or putting real people on blast for nothing is free game, apparently. They're not the worst, both in this instance and in general, but it just stuck with me. Which is impressive, cuz I normally don't have much emotions to spare aside from general mild irritation for things like this. Maybe it's the Sonic feet.

But it ties into my issue. Midori's an absolute piece of garbage, yet some people will convince themselves that his actions are in some way justifiable to justify their hatred of something else (that is a lot less severe in this case) rather than love and let love. Tcoaal is not an "incest game" and if you describe it like that unironically you are not ready to be on the internet. No, it doesn't condone or glorify incest-- it literally does the opposite. If you need the characters to look into the camera and say "what we're doing is wrong and immoral" before doing something bad, I think you're the problem at that point. For the same reason you liking Midori (probably) doesn't mean you support human experimentation and torture, someone liking Tcoaal doesn't mean they support incest and someone shipping soushin doesn't mean they support abuse. These things are dark and shouldn't be condoned irl, but this is fiction. We can do whatever the hell we want. Being into darker themes and media doesn't have to reflect your real world views, but the inability to grasp that sentiment leads people to make their interests as moral and sanitised as possible and, feeling morally superior, will go after people who don't do that. This person deadass said that "incest is not morally grey and absolutely unjustifiable" (didn't even say that it wasn't btw) as if their blorbo hasn't committed so many atrocities for kicks that I personally find more unjustifiable. That line implies that they think that everything else Ashley has done and everything Midori has done can be justified because it wasn't incest specifically, which I find is a WILD thing to insinuate XD But it really does encapsulate the hoops antis will jump through to defend their likes while attacking yours despite the fact that it's literally the exact same as theirs. Rule of thumb: if someone accuses you of condoning something immoral because you like it in fiction, apply that logic to them, look at what they like and if their wet little meow meow is the Joker, Eren, Killua, Makima, Midori or whatever other morally bankrupt character you can come up with, take that as a confession and run. Cuz half the time these guys are actually nuts. While quote tweeting someone to shit on their art isn't the worst thing, considering how twitter has treated tcoaal artists the fact that they'd potentially open them up to harassment pissed me off, which is probably evident from my tone.

[Hi hi, this is me from the present right now cuz a more recent development came up so I’m using it as an example here too.]

While most of the things listed here have all been happening online, this attitude can come up in the real world as well.

As OP states, a bunch of hellaverse cosplayers were targetted at a french convention by haters of the show trying to ruin their cosplay. This is already completely unacceptable but the thing I can’t for the life of me get over is torching their costume while they’re still wearing it. Literally attempting to set someone on fire. All over a fucking show. It’s baffling how people can justify actions like this because they think your taste in fiction is so disgusting it’s Ok for them to hurt you. Not just online, but outside as well. It’s not the first time a hellaverse cosplayer has been harassed (last time it was a Valentino cosplayer but then again Val fans get shit from all sides all the time), and while I’m pretty sure these will remain as isolated cases it’s still scary to think about. What’s even more scary to think about how people think that their opinion on hazbin hotel has any relevance to the situation. So many of the comments in that post are just “I hate Hazbin Hotel, but—” or “I hate the fandom, but--” or “I hate Vivzie, but—” and I’m literally here ready to start pouncing like SHUT UP. No buts. That is not in any way important here. You not liking the show or the creator should not be important to the situation of cosplayers being actively harmed. You don’t have to signal your allegiances before showing basic human empathy, goddamnit. And what’s even worse is that some people have just turned this into a “b-but the hazbin fandom!!” issue, which is insulting. For example:

The “Hazbin fans do blackface and disrespect black people daily” is a reference to ONE Alastor cosplayer that nobody had defended. Not even fans. At least no one I can find. Yet they are using this one bad apple to generalise the whole fandom as "bad" and down play the amount of bullshit the hatedom does to fans on a regular. It kinda makes me feel sick that someone would look at a situation like this and spin this into a “fandom thing” rather than focusing on the victims. That they don’t deserve to be taken as seriously just because of the fandom their in. Some lunatic in the comments was literally completely minimising this whole thing saying “some red paint (fake blood capsules) isn’t nearly as bad as lynching and what black people have gone through in America” before calling anyone who called out that that’s completely irrelevant racist for liking Hazbin Hotel like are you kidding me. My homies in Christ, someone almost got lit on fire can everyone please stay on the goddamn topic. This is one of the rare moments where I was kinda proud of twitter as the majority of the comments and quotes where calling out their bullshit, but the amount of likes and some of the comments are still disappointing.

So what points am I trying to make here? This was very spontaneous and rushed so apologies if it feels messy cuz it very much is messy. But my main points boil down to this: Purification, sanitation and the “fiction equals reality” and "your fictional tastes reflect on you morality irl" arguments need to die. They just have to. While petting Shin on a daily basis gives me enough serotonin to find the will to live, the only true solace I will find is when people start being normal. People shouldn’t be getting harassed or labelled as freaks for fiction you don’t like both online and real life. People are not less worthy of basic human decency and empathy solely based on their fictional interests. People should be able to explore fiction however the hell they want without worrying about there being made a call out post on them somewhere. I search Tcoaal on twitter and there’ll always be a bunch of posts with over 10k likes calling all fans annoying weirdos or say it’s an “incest game” even tho it literally isn’t. I will try looking for some Valangel art on tumblr and see some loser use the tag to basically shit on everyone who ships it and lying about the treatment these shippers get while defending Charlastor or just shit on the ship in general. I just exist on the twitter side of the HH fandom chilling with other Val fans and literally every single one of them has either received death/rape threats or told to kill themselves, got ratio’d by a bunch of haters, had a call out post saying not to follow dedicated to them, had their art reposted and Val scribbled out, repeatedly accused of ““romantising a rapist””, or all of the fucking above. Valentino’s VA gets asked if he’s actually like the character he plays in real life or a fan being “relieved that he didn’t abuse them like Valentino” when they met (kudos to Joel for being chill about it btw I would be fuming this fandom does not deserve this man). I type in a certain controversial yttd ship to search and most of the latest posts are just people being rude, saying that if Nankidai makes them canon they’ll drop the game, calling the man himself a freak, calling other shippers freaks, shitting on soushin as well and then having soushiners defend their ship while also shitting on said controversial ship. It genuinely feels like fanbases are circuses and we are the clowns 💀

I could list other examples people being weirdos but I can't do that without breaking the momentum of this post even more than I already have. I guess what I wanted to vent about is how these attitudes regarding fiction and the way people police how others engage with it and how people think of you based on what you like can go from just annoying to downright dangerous more often than you’d think. That belief that you are morally superior to someone else based on the fact that you ship or like things the “legal” and “pure” and “healthy” way (which is never actually the case btw) can lead to you being really disrespectful or a complete asshole and not feeling bad about it at all, which does more harm than good. Which is why I thought it was important to bring up more extreme cases to empathise how this obsessive gatekeeping of fiction can and does hurt real people, who should be more important to you than fictional characters.

All of this is very likely going to sound very aggressive in tone and I want to quickly clarify that this is not meant to be an attack towards anyone in particular. I'm just tired and recalling all this stuff is making my mood sink like a stone lmao. Who knows, maybe I'm just overexaggerating and things won't get worse when the game gets more popular. This is just what I've been witnessing both in and out of my side of the moon. The amount of yttd fans I've seen act like this are a lot tho. No fandom is perfect obviously, and this one is the farthest from it, but with new people coming in and this weird attitude and need to sanitise not only towards soushin, but other "problematic" ships and media as well growing more prominent (mostly on Twitter and Tiktok) my biggest worry is that the hostility in this fandom will just... increase? Roulettefeel made pretty good posts about it-- my favourites being this one, also this one and this one's pretty short and sweet, summarising most of my soushin points a lot better and shorter than my trainwreck of a post so I recommend checking them out. If you like soushin, go check them out. If you don't like soushin, go check them out anyway. They make stuff outside of soushin too. They're pretty cool.

[I also want to add that the whole sanitisation thing in the yttd fandom is nothing new. It’s been a thing for longer than I have been here. I’ve just been seeing it again with soushin, which is was what made me want to do this in the first place. There’s another dynamic the fandom obviously does this for, but uttering it would not only get me flamed but straight up burned at the stake of bad takes so I’m saving that for a rainy day.]

Aaaaannd, I'm done, I think. I didn't have a good conclusion for this in mind. Idk, just be nice? You don't have to like "proships" (or what the fandom has defined as proship cuz that's not the actual definition), but that's what the block buttons for. Don't like, don't read, I say. Fandoms are for everyone and as long as what the person is doing is harmless, let them feel safe being themselves without having to worry about someone coming after them. Real life cops already suck. Let's not bring them into our collective escapism. And something you personally don't like ending up canon doesn't mean the game or ship is "ruined". That doesn't just go for soushin. That goes for other things too. To tie up loose ends, soushin having an age gap or being related has always been on the table and fits with other themes in the narrative. That does not count as "bad" if it makes sense. Soushin is not "Ok to ship" because it's "not an illegal ship" (whatever tf that means) and it's not "bad to ship" because it's "romanticising abuse". It's fine to ship because it's fictional. You don't need a moral justification to ship anything. That goes for all ships. That's why NOTPs exist. And "proship" doesn't and has never meant "shipping problematic pairings". It's a stance on shipping. It means being pro people being allowed to ship whatever they want. That includes being cool with problematic pairings, but is not limited to those. It means not being a fandom cop. Please stop saying otherwise, I cannot keep living this way--

Soooouuu, to end off on a more positive note and finally put this whole thing to bed I'll link some of my fav newer soushin accounts for anyone who's interested:

Hyo (orewagahai on ao3 check that out too): They are an amazing, amazing writer. If you're into dark, abusive co-dependent, complicated soushin with beautiful characterisation I would highly recommend. They just posted another soushin drabble on twitter and it's great.

jinn: They've been putting out banger after banger ever since getting into the game. Their art is absolutely stunning and they upload frequently, so go check 'em out if you can! It's actual medicine for the soul, I promise. They also draw for dead plate, so if you're into that go ahead too.

angel: Also cool. They're soushin art is hilarious and cute. As much of a sucker as I am for toxic, abusive sludge, they give thses two idiots a silliness that I enjoy. Also if you like trans!Shin content they're pretty good.

欣武 (my dumbass forgot to add them the first time sorry): They are INCREDIBLE. Extremely incredible artist. Their art is so, so freaking good. Not checking them out is absolutely your loss, ngl.

Be nice to them. If I catch anyone attempting to annoy them I'm coming after you and your entire family. Let's be better and not chase new comers off this time :3 Thanks for listening to my incoherent venting. This is mostly for me to feel a bit better, but anyone is free to read. If anyone's got an opinion or observation, feel free to offer it. I need coffee. Coffee sounds good.

[catnippackets]

hi! this is kind of nowhere and hopefully it isn't too weird to say, but as a semi-longtime follower of yours it's really nice to see your recent art of cailín and keira and how much they've grown and changed from their original iterations!

as an artist myself who's really struggled with the idea of feeling pressured about keeping the work i put out there the same as it was when people first saw it, or continuing to make it when its form is no longer satisfying to me, it's really uplifting to see someone else letting go of old forms of their stories and being able to explore new directions for the characters and ideas involved.

i wouldn't want to assume anything about how you yourself feel irt the direction cailín and keira and co. are going, but at least just from the art itself it's really cool to see all of the changes they've underwent over time and feel like those thoughtful changes were able to happen because of new evolutions on your part as a writer and an artist

anyhow...hopefully this ask was not too unbearably long. i hope you are having a good time with your art these days

asfdghkjd thank you so much!! <3 <3 yeah it was definitely a bit of a struggle to adapt their story at first, since I kind of knew in my heart a lot of things about it weren't working and certain characters need to be put in different roles or even maybe don't even really need to exist in the story at all anymore, and it was hard to let that go at first, but with way more experience as an artist and a writer under my belt, it's SO much stronger now than it ever was, and I'll be honest...I have never believed in anything more than I do this story. it is so different than what it used to be and I really think it's gonna be good for the world <3 <3

revamping my girls was so fun too because once I realized what the new direction should be everything felt like it started flowing MUCH easier and agh. part of me wishes I could talk about it more, but I'm taking it so seriously that it feels like the kinda thing I don't think I'm ready to share until it becomes something. I've been working SO hard behind the scenes the past few months and things are coming along sooooo well and I have never had more fun with my art than I am having right now :)

[hemi-demi]

I have a lot of feelings about TMAGP 23, and I gotta let them out. As much as I would love to talk about the amazing statement and the other lovely moments between the cast, I am unfortunately very stuck on one specific part, and not in a good way.

Spoilers below cut:

I'm gonna be perfectly honest, this one hurt me way more than I thought, and I'm worried about my enjoyment of the series.

I truly want to enjoy Protocol for what it is. I've been an Alice defender since day 1, I love her moment with Gwen this episode, I love that Lena seems to be showing a bit more care for her employees. But even with all that, I can't keep doing this with the TMA references.

Look, I've never in my entire 32 goddamn years of living felt like a character in media represented me. Ever. And now I have two. Jon and Martin's relationship feels like seeing parts of myself love each other despite their problems. It's a relationship that resembles the one I have with my partner, and I see a lot of him in Martin especially. Listening to TMA was a wonderful experience because, yes, I knew it was a tragedy and I wish they could have a happy ending, but it was the ending they earned, and they got to go together, and the ambiguity was good enough for me.

I want to enjoy the new writers, the new characters, the focus on alchemy and try to piece together what's happening in the story with everyone else because I missed out on that with having binged TMA after the fact. I cannot do that if they keep taking the corpses of characters I love and dangle them in front of me with the vague hope that they might spring back to life.

But they teased that maybe Jon and Martin can be okay in one reality. I've seen people say they haven't, but between the "Hey, this sounds like them in therapy!" bit, and the Gerry and Gertrude scene, I genuinely believe they did to a degree, even if unintentionally.

Maybe we could have something nice, just one little scrap of "they're happy somewhere else" with the TMAGP versions as a nice cameo. I got my hopes up, hopes I didn't ask for, only to be told "Oh, they never knew each other, and they're dead. If they're happy together in any reality, it sure isn't fuck in this one. The characters you relate to more than anything can never be happy, and you're stupid for thinking that they can ☺️."

This hurts. I feel like I've been stabbed. We were told explicitly this could be enjoyed separately, and that Jon and Martin's ending would be left ambiguous. Unless they pull the rug out from under us and say "Oh, Fr3ddi isn't Jon and Martin at all" (which I've been saying since the beginning. I'm of the "stolen voices" camp and I hope that's what it is, or something else.) then I'm now listening to a show where my favorite characters are suffering, again. And even if they do, the versions in TMAGP are presumably dead anyway.

It's like in fanfiction how you always tag stuff like "Bad endings" or "Major character death". You do that because people have grown attached to these characters and don't always want to watch them suffer again (or do, then you filter by it). The new characters I signed up for hearing their pain and torment, I don't know them yet, and I want to see how their stories play out even if it's painful. But I feel like I'm reading an untagged fanfic right now that is cutting into the original story I did want to listen to.

I want this to be its own thing. I want to care about Alice and Gwen and Sam so when they inevitably die I can feel like I did with TMA again, in a sort of reverent peace with things.

And then chasing that with "Oh, also, Basira and Helen-" just felt like extra salt.

I don't want people to take this as being cruel to the writers, or that I'm being entitled. I genuinely didn't want them to have to dive too deep back into TMA, I'm here for the new stuff. And I'm sure I'll get a bit of "this isn't the genre for you, then, horror is-" I know. I've been engaged with horror since I was much too young. It's my favorite genre. I'm fine with character death. I thought TMA handled it very well.

But I can't pretend that this doesn't hurt, either. I'm sure they have more planned, that this could just be a red herring, but that doesn't stop this from hurting right now when I have no idea what comes next.

I had a glimmer of hope that I was perfectly fine with watching from afar, that they made into a beacon too impossibly bright to ignore. Then, when I steer my boat towards it, I'm lured onto the jagged rocks. Just because they throw me a life preserver a few weeks later doesn't remove the water from my lungs.

Idk. I know some people are excited about this, and I hope they get everything they're looking for out of the story, but I worry that at this rate, I might not. At least not until the wound heals some more.

Okay, I'm gonna go back to writing fanfiction where they get to be happy. Pretty sure that's as close as I'm going to get.

[barrenclan]

Been following Barrenclan since the initial generator video, but I've never sent an ask until now. But I felt like I had to now because this latest issue left me in shambles 🩵 (this IS a compliment, you are such an excellent writer)

Asphodelpaw was one of my favorites (especially because I'm also ace and it's just nice seeing that representation), so seeing her get killed by her own uncle is. OW. GOD. FUCK MAN. Tore all my heartstrings out. (I'm. Hoping with everyone else that she isn't dead, but considering Rainhaze was able to kill Dustfeather with a single hit and DF was fully grown, *and* that was *before* the Defiance lifestyle. Yeah. Yeah…)

But something occurred to me after I read and studied the last few pages. I remembered people speculating on Asphodel's potential death, and someone suggested that Asphodel might get in trouble for using friendly-friendly on something that was very *not* friendly. And I think in a way, that's exactly what happened.

Asphodelpaw saw her long-lost uncle and was of course overjoyed, asking him what happened, where he's been, etc. Being *friendly* with him because, why wouldn't you be? Everything her Clan's said about Rainhaze was super positive: he was a great hunter, a great friend, a great warrior.

You'd assume they'd be exactly the same, and especially in the euphoric haze of assuming they're *dead* and being *wrong.*

But he wasn't the same.

She was friendly-friendly with something that *wasn't* friendly. At least, not anymore…

That's not even going into how I think Rainhaze subconsciously picked his mom to kill because of how she treated Slugpelt and him (especially with those little past panels with him and his sister in this issue) and. God. GOD, this comic is so good.

Sorry for the super long ramble, I just love this comic immensely and I'm SO ready for all the shit to hit the fan (No I'm not, the end of the comic is going to destroy me). Take all the time you need to and don't forget to take breaks!

Don't apologize for talking at length about my comic! It's always welcome! Also, wow, thanks for following since the beginning! That's cool. And I really like your analysis on that idea! Rainhaze seems to bring out the talkative in people.

[gamesception]

Sception Reads Cass Cain #38

Batgirl (2000) #18 - September 2001 Writer: Kelley Puckett Pencils: Damion Scott Inks: Robert Campanella Colors: Jason Wright

Ooh, a guest in Cass's book. Is this the first we've seen that? I think it might be. We get to see whether Tim gets a better showing in Cass's book than she's had in his.

Far more importantly, though, this issue starts with a dream sequence, one that I've referenced a few times already. I misremembered it as happening much earlier on in Cass's run, because it is so fundamental to understanding who (this version of) Cassandra is as a character.

It starts with 8 year old cass in a stealth suit (if there was one thing I think could improve this flashback, it would be if she was wearing the grown up batgirl suit all clearly too big for her, like the cover of issue 4), sneaking around the Batcave, a mischievous smirk on her face like a kid who knows they're getting away with something. She's tiny in a world too big for her as she creeps up onto a computer panel to reach the bat-cookie jar. There an expression of gleeful triumph on her face as she reaches a hand into the jar to snatch...

No, she's caught! Batman, Dick, Alfred (somehow? Has she even met Alfred?), Helena, Tim, Jean-Paul (nice nod there), they've caught her with her hand in the cookie jar neck of the man she killed. She's grown and wearing her batsuit now but she's still so small and they're so big and they're calling her a murderer while Barbara sits dejected, looking up to say 'How could you?' so hurt that Cassandra would betray them all this way, would betray her specifically, sullying the legacy of Batgirl with a murderer's bloody hands, and then the dead man speaks, and it's not the man she killed anymore, now her fingers are buried in the throat of her Father, David Cain, as he admonishes her. "Did you really think you could fool 'em forever?"

...

There's just so much happening here. The cookies - the treat, the prize she's stealing, labeled with the bat symbol? That's being Batgirl. And saving people as Batgirl is the only way she knows how to do to atone for what she did. Except she's a murderer, she deserves to be punished, not redeemed. Worse, being Batgirl is fun! It's exciting and thrilling and the best life she could possibly imagine. It's a reward, not the punishment she deserves, and deep in her traumatized and guilt-ruined inner 8 year old's bones she knows she's getting away with something she doesn't deserve.

Sooner or later her new family will catch her, they'll learn the truth, they'll realize she's not good like them, she's only pretending, really she's a murderer, and when they find out she's sure they'll all turn on her. From this we can infer that her isolation isn't just something imposed on her by Bruce, it's also something she's doing to herself, or willingly allowing Bruce to do to her. After all, the closer she gets to the others, the sooner one of them will realize that she doesn't belong. The more it will hurt when they cast her out.

And there's David Cain calling her out. David, the only one who knows her secret, who knows the real her, the murderer.

....

This is such a good look into Cassandra's character and mental space, into how she sees herself as Batgirl. How dearly she loves it and how badly she wants it and how sure she is that she doesn't deserve it and it's only a matter of time before the others find out and feel the same.

...

I would also say it's fantastic foreshadowing, because this is clearly building to a number of major reveals & confrontations, right? When Bruce finally has to admit the truth and does try to reject her, tearing their family apart in the process as Babs sticks with Cass and the rest are forced to choose sides. Or wondering how Cassandra will react when she finds out that Babs already knows, that she already knew almost the entire time, and that she doesn't care, still loves her, still is proud of her, still wants her to be Batgirl - will she feel relieved, or will she lose respect for Barbara for not holding Cass to the same impossible moral standard that she holds herself to? One could imagine a conflict of Babs vs. Bruce over whether Cassandra is worthy of the costume only with Cassandra taking Bruce's side rather than her own. And David Cain is still out there, potentially throwing the whole thing into an even deeper level of turmoil.

Sadly I can't say this is good foreshadowing, because none of that really happens. Fantastic set up, but not quite landing the follow through. But we're still in the set up part, and the set up part is so, so good, and this dream sequence is maybe the best two pages of it.

...

So yeah there is an actual story in this issue, it's not just a two page dream sequence. I've spent most of my analytical energy already so I'm not going to go in depth, but it's a cool team up story with Tim, where Tim is trying to take down a mob boss while Cass goes after an assassin the boss hired then failed to pay. It's good stuff actually, and well worth a read, but I just want to pick out a couple bits...

We get an explicit limit/exception to Cass's body-reading ability.

Just a bunch of cool art, I like this panel a lot.

We get this moment where Cass opens up a bit to Tim, who starts to connect with her in a way that he hasn't in their previous meet ups.

And it ends on this nice moment of Tim admitting he's been cold to Cassandra and apologizing, extending a hand in friendship. And it's a really nice moment, though the fact that this is coming from Batgirl's creative team makes me wonder Robin's creative team will maintain the better relationship going forward.

As for the question of Whether Tim comes off better in Cass's book than Cass did the last few times she showed up in his, I mean, obviously. What's maybe more noteworthy is that Tim is more likable in this book than even he is in his own, at least as of the last couple issues we looked at. He's thoughtful and intuitive here, self aware, capable of self reflection, capable of recognizing when he's been in the wrong and taking steps to correct himself. All in a story that still emphasizes his detective skills and tech savvy. It makes me sort of wish Tim had his own book... Unfortunately he did.

Of that run of Robin I've only ever read the few issues we've talked about in this project, most notably the two we looked at most recently, and those two especially were were pretty miserable. Not in the sense of being sad and heavy like Cass's book often is, just kind of awkward and unpleasant and mean spirited. Weird choice for a Robin title, imo, you'd figure people would be looking for something a little more light hearted out of that book, with a more likable protagonist. Then again it's really not fair of me to judge an ongoing book when I've read so little of it, so I'm just going to let it go there.

[hopefullyitsextensivebule]

The Hair Cut { D.R.W X Reader }

Pairing: Daniel Wagner x Reader

Writer's Whining: So ya boi got a nice haircut. *Chopped... was an understatement! I wanted to get first dibs on the occasion. This is very short; sorry about that. Also, this fic is a gift for friend of mine 🩵🩵🩵; you know who you are. Warning(s): Extreme fluff! Word Count: 1.1k+

⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹

You checked Josie's story on Instagram and noticed something about Daniel. He wore a black mesh cap with his visor behind his head while driving. You zoomed in and saw that his hair looked incredibly different. You gasped in shock.

He had cut his hair.

You were surprised, to say the least, considering you had grown used to his curls framing his face in a way that resembled the standard bad boy in an 80s rock band in the days of rock' n' roll. Nonetheless, you were very pleased with what you saw.

He had come back to Nashville that weekend, coming around and hanging out with the boys before he made his way to your home. You were expecting him, so you had let the door open for him to walk through.

"Hey, Y/N!" he said with a chippy tone.

You looked up from your book and smiled up at him. "Hey, you," you say, discarding the book and getting up from the couch, slightly skipping to him and hugging his neck. You were trying to feel just how much he chopped off. There was no way you could tell from another hat blocking your view. Your hands placed themselves right at the nape of his neck and casually felt him. "How are you? How was your trip with your sis?" you ask innocently.

"Oh, it was great!" he said, his face beaming excitedly. He went into detail about how he could catch up with his sister, and you were too busy trying to find out how his hair looked. He still had his hate, so he was covering it. Did it look ugly? Did the sides look too close to the skin? You were asking yourself a million questions while Daniel was still speaking. "How was your weekend?"

"What?" you asked, getting out of your head.

"How was your weekend?" he asked as he migrated to the couch and sat beside your spot.

"Oh… it was good," you lied. Your weekend was okay, but you could have done something better with your time. You had to do laundry and restock the fridge, "did a lot of stuff this weekend, you know?"

Daniel engaged the conversation with a nod, having glanced idly at the state of your home and realized you were fibbing. A washing machine with clothes was about to finish its cycle. "I can tell," he said, wanting you to cop out.

You let out a nervous laugh but had depleted into the couch. "Yeah… it's been a tiring weekend."

"Come on," he said, taking your hand and pulling you up from the couch, "let me take care of you."

You protested, not wanting to burden him with mundane things, even though you needed the help, "no, no, no, please. It would be best if you didn't do that. And you just came back from Kentucky."

"I do, though," he said, taking your other hand, now holding them and rubbing the backs to reassure you, "besides, I miss you."

Your cheeks showed a rosy tint as you didn't expect him to say that. He took you upstairs and laid you down on your bed. "Now, what are your clothes in the washing machine?"

"Just some shirts and pants," you say, feeling embarrassed again, "You don't have to, really—"

"Listen, I'm here now, so just sit back and relax and let Dan the Man handle this stuff," he told you, your face looking deadpan.

"I have never heard you call yourself that in all the time that I've known you," you reply, arms crossed.

"Just go with it."

You heard the ding of the washer catch his ear, to which he left you to tend to the laundry room and get your clothes out. A sigh escaped your lips as you finally relaxed, and within an instant, you fell asleep.

❋

The scent of delicious food cooking woke you up. You were still trying to get your surroundings, eyes looking around. You turn your head to see the time, realizing a significant gap from when you slept till now. Feet firmly planted on the floor, you walk out of your room and see Daniel in a tank and his shorts, having changed outfits. You rub your eyes and see him without his hat. His hair looked pulled back, a band keeping any flyaways away from the food he put on the table. He looked to his side and saw you. "Look who's awake," he gestured.

"Hey, Daniel," you saw, voice raspy and dry. "What's this?"

"Oh, I thought I'd order some takeout," he said as he made you a plate. "Come and sit."

You sat down and ate the food, feeling more aware of everything. After some light conversation and witty banter, you two finish your dinner and put it away, now residing on the couch. You were very comfortable, your legs across Daniel's as he talked about the silly antics your other friend Josh did. "He's such a goofball."

"He sure is," he said, his hand in his hair.

"Did you cut your hair?" you finally asked, your hand reaching out and going for his hair. Your fingers delved into his dark locks, feeling how soft and silky they looked.

"Yeah, I was kinda waiting for you to mention it," he told you, "the guys like it, but I wanna get your honest opinion."

You felt honored, and so you went to inspect his locks. Your hand fluffed up his hair, parting it side to side, down the middle, tousling it about. Daniel would stifle a giggle, seeing you have too much fun with this. "What's the verdict, judge?"

You soon got up and faced him, straddling his thighs and planting yourself on his lap. Your hands explored his hair more, but as you did, you started to hold onto his face and touch his cheekbones. "It's perfect," you say effortlessly. You leaned down and gave him a peck on his lips. Daniel was caught off guard but chuckled. You peck his lips again, Daniel having reciprocated the kiss.

With each kiss, it intensified.

His hands went to your back and pulled you on top of him, your arms around his neck. He tilted his head to get more access to your luscious mouth. You pulled away momentarily, catching your breath and resting your forehead against his. Daniel leaned in to gently kiss you, still wanting more from you. "So… you like it?' he said, trying to talk, but his voice slurred from being drunk off your kiss.

"Yeah… the hair, I mean," you say, chuckling a little. "And this as well."

"I like this, too," he told you, his hand on your cheek and leaning in to kiss you softly once more, you embracing him once more.