#it's a good thing I just happened to call out of work today or I would be beyond toasted

[fairytaleendingss]

Room for One More?

Chapter 9

Summary: Secrets are revealed on New Years Eve.

CW: Alcohol consumption, sexual references, mention of cigarettes, swearing, lots of drama.

Pairing: Poly!Marauders x fem!reader

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8

--

"YOU SLEPT WITH SIRIUS?!"

"Shh! Mary keep your voice down," you uttered, looking around to see how many of your coworker's heads had swivelled towards you in response to Mary's loud exclamation.

"Sorry," she grimaced. "I'm just.. I'm in shock."

You sighed and leaned back where you were perched on the corner of her desk. "I think I am a bit as well."

There was a pause.

"Well, was it good?"

"Mary! Oh my god!" you groaned and threw a hand over your face to hide your mortification.

"What? I'm just asking. I can't say that I haven't imagined it once or twice myself-"

You slapped her gently across the shoulder with the back of your hand. "You're distrubed. You know that?"

She smirked. "You know you love me."

You rolled your eyes affectionately at your friend. "Anyway, we'd been drinking and it was Christmas and we were having such a wonderful time. I think we just got swept up in it all and now I don't know what to do. Things have been kind of... weird between us."

"Well have you guys talked about it?" Mary inquired.

"That's the thing. Afterwards he just kind of moved on like it never happened. I don't know if he thinks it was a mistake or something but it's stressing me out."

"Hmm," a thoughtful look crossed Mary's face as she took everything in. "Well how are you feeling about it? Do you think it was a mistake?"

You bit the inside of your cheek. "No? I-I don't think so. I dont know."

A look of realisation washed over Mary's face. "Do you like him??"

"I mean, of course I like him. I'm just not sure I like like him."

Your friend sighed exasperatedly. "Oh my god! We're not in Primary School, just answer the damn question!"

"Fine! I guess the answer is... yes?" you sighed. "But whatever! Does it even make a difference? He's made it exceptionally clear that he doesn't feel the same way."

"Look," Mary huffed, her expression growing sincere. "Sirius is great. He's fun and friendly and a total flirt but he's also been known to be a little emotionally constipated. Just be honest with him. Talk to him about it. He's not going to be able to pick up on any signals you're trying to send him."

You squeezed your eyes shut and let out a breath throught your nose. "Ugh fine."

"Good girl," Mary smiled. "Now go away. I actually have some work to get done today."

"Oh fine. I suppose I know when I'm not wanted," you teased, getting up and walking back towards your desk.

"Love you!" Mary called lightheartedly as you walked away.

"Yeah, yeah," you joked in response.

As you arrived back at your desk and slumped down in your chair, prepared to get back to work, a head peaked down at you over the cubical.

"Oh, you're back, I see."

You jumped slightly at the unexpected voice and looked up to see its perpertrator.

"Yes, Glenn. Hi. Is there anything I can help you with?"

Glenn was a new employee in your office and he sat in the cubical opposite yours. He was only a few years older than you and he was tall and fit with short blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. In the few weeks you'd known him for, he'd been particularly friendly towards you and recently you'd been getting the idea that he had taken a liking to you.

You weren't interested of course. He was an attractive guy but not really your type. And with everything going on with Sirius over the last week, you'd been making a effort to put some distance between you. You definitely weren't looking for anything of that nature right now and you didn't want to give him the wrong impression. However, Glenn was nothing if not persistant.

"Actually, I was just wondering if you had any plans for new years tonight? A few of my mates are throwing a party and you're welcome to join us if you're interested."

You sent him you're most empathetic smile. "That sounds lovely but unfortunately I already have some plans with my friends."

He sighed, flashing you a grin that looked suspiciously rehearsed. "Oh well. No problem. It was worth a shot. You have fun tonight."

"You too, Glenn."

As the man dissapeared back over the divider, you let out a heafty sigh. Tonight was surely going to be interesting.

--

The view was impeccable from the bar where your friends had gathered to spend New Years. In fact, seated beside a huge floor to ceiling window, you suspected you'd have a clear view of the New Years fireworks.

It was a classy joint, one that Dorcas had managed to get you access to through one of her fancy lawyer contacts.

Everyone was assembled on stools around a table, looking out over the London skyline. It was about four hours until midnight and the group was chatting excitedly in the lead up.

"I've got shots!" Mary called out and everyone cheered as she returned to the table with a tray.

She passed the drinks around and then took her seat beside you.

"Well, I suggest a toast!" James called out, grabbing the attention of the group. "To a wonderful year ahead, and many more memories with old, and new, friends!"

He emphasised the last line with a pointed look in your direction and you felt your cheeks growing hot.

"Cheers!" Marlene shouted enthusiastically and the others echoed her sentiments, clinking glasses and swallowing their drinks.

The burning of the liquor was welcomed as the drink ran down your throat. You'd been thinking a lot about what Mary had said to you in regards to your situation with Sirius. And as he sat beside you, laughing animatedly at one of Peter's stories, it only confirmed your worst fears. Maybe you were starting to develop feelings for your roommate. You grimaced at the thought. Things were bound to get messy in situations like this.

"So guys," Sybil piped up from across the table. "Let's all go around and say our New Years resolutions."

"Oh, I'll go first!" James volunteered. "I hope my team continues to play a great season annnddd... I want to work out more."

There was a collective groan.

"Come on, James. That's not a real one!" Mary complained.

Sirius chuckled, taking a pointed sip of his drink. "Yeah! You already work out like 7 times a day!"

"Ugh, okay fine!" James responded with groan. He thought for a moment. "How about this one. I'd like to fall in love this year."

You didn't miss the way his eyes flickered across the table towards Lily and you felt your heart sink. Lily seemed to take notice a well as she averted her eyes, taking a heafty gulp of the drink in her hand.

"Aww, James. Always the romantic, aren't you?" Marlene chuckled.

"Shut up." James rolled his eyes playfully. "Your turn then, Marls."

"Okay," She took a deep breath. "My goal this year is to become super rich and famous and sucessful."

"I second that!" Mary called across the table and you giggled as they clinked their glasses.

"Y/n. Your turn," Dorcas announced.

"Oh okay, um..." you thought for a moment, your gaze flashing to James and Remus across the table, then over to Sirius, who was watching you expectanly, a playlful glimmer in his stormy eyes.

You then looked back towards the rest of the group. "This year, I'd like to spend some more time with you lovely people."

A round of cooing echoed across the table and Mary threw her arms around you.

"Well aren't you just the sweetest!"

"Oh, and I'd like to work more on my novel," you added.

"Alright, alright. Sirius, you're up!" Marlene chimed.

The boy beside you pursed his lips, looking off into the distance as if deep in thought. Then, after a long moment, he turned back to all of you with a mischievous smirk on his lips.

"This year, I want to have lots of amazing sex!"

"Ew. Sirius, you're so foul," Lily exclaimed, followed by a symphany of similar sentiments from the other members of the group.

While everyone else was distracted, grumbling and groaning about Sirius' bluntness, the man leaned down towards you.

"You look great tonight, by the way." He whispered into your hair.

You gulped thickly, not quite sure what to do with yourself. You opted for downing the remainder of your Vodka, Lime and Soda.

--

As the evening drew on, you found yourself growing more anxious in Sirius' presence. You weren't quite sure what his game was, whether it was the alcohol or he was just feeling extra bold tonight, but he'd been suspiciously flirtatious.

You didn't know how to respond. Part of you wanted to let him. To let him woo you and go crawling back for more of what you'd had together on Christmas Night. However, the other, more logical part of you, told you that was a terrible idea. He was your roommate afterall. The last thing you wanted was to start some complicated friends-with-benefits situation with a guy you lived with, especially one that you had sort of, maybe, possibly had caught feelings for.

You downed another drink, feeling the alcohol grip you and hoped it would help to ease the nerves ever so slightly. You realised then, that you were staring.

Sirius had gone to the bar to order another round of drinks and you'd been watching with bated breath as he sent his signature smile to a girl wearing an explicitly tight black dress. You noticed the way she leaned forward, pressing her cleavage up against the bar as she spoke to him. God, could she be anymore obvious?

"Calm the hell down, y/n!" You thought to yourself. "It's not like you guys are together. He can flirt with whoever he wants."

"Hey, are you okay?" you raked your eyes away from the scene as a voice came from beside you.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine," You muttered absently, too distracted to notice that it was Remus who asked the question.

"Okay, never have I ever... made out with more than one person on the same night!" Mary's voice rang out and you forced your attention back to the group.

You weren't sure when this game had begun but you suspected it was suggested by one of the girls (likely Mary or Marlene) as a way to pass the final hour until midnight. You hadn't participated in this game since probably highschool, but you were all a few drinks in at this point so you figured, what the hell?

You watched as Marlene, James and Dorcas all took a sip. Then Lily sent Mary a pointed look.

"Come on, Mary. That's not how the game works. You have to say something you haven't done."

"I haven't!" Mary responded. Then she paused. "Oh wait, yeah I definitely have."

Everyone chuckled as she took a drink.

"Alright! Dorcas! Your turn." Mary nudged the girl in the side.

Dorcas rolled her eyes. "For the record, I just want to say, I think this game is stupid."

"Come on babe. Don't be a party pooper!" Marlene exclaimed, leaning in towards her girlfriend. "How else are we supposed to learn everyone's deepest darkest secrets."

Dorcas sighed and shook her head but there was a hint of a smile on her face. She really could never say no to Marlene.

"Ugh, fine. Never have I ever stolen something."

"Well that's a hard one," Mary muttered. "What do we count as stealing? Because I've stolen stuff from James a ton of times."

"Oi!" James shouted, looking positively affronted. Mary sent him an apologetic smile.

"No, not like that," Dorcas clarified. "It had to have been from an actual shop."

You all sat up straight for a moment, curiously looking around the group to see if anyone had. Hesitantly, Peter lifted his glass to his lips.

"Pete! What the hell!" James exclaimed.

"I don't know, I went through a phase in highschool!"

"What sort of stuff did you take?" Marlene pressed.

Peter shrugged. "Chocolate and ciggarettes, mostly."

There was an eruption of laughter that rippled across the table at Peter's revelation.

"Wow, I didn't know there was a degenerate among us," Lily teased, watching Peter's face flush bright red.

"Okay, okay. My turn!" Marlene said, once the laughter died down. "Never have I ever... gotten really sloshed and fallen down the stairs at my 18th birthday party"

"Hey! That's not fair!" James moaned, taking a sip of his beer. "You can't do targeted ones!"

Marlene just shrugged. "Sorry, but I don't think that was established in the rules."

James smirked. "Fine then! Never have I ever had sex with someone at this table."

Your blood ran cold for a moment as you glanced back towards the bar. You sighed in relief when you saw that Sirius was still over there. In that case, you technically hadn't slept with anyone at the table. You were off the hook for now.

Marlene rolled her eyes at James and took a drink, as well as Dorcas, Peter and Sybil, however, you watched James' eyes widen as Mary also took a long sip.

"Mary!" Lily hissed across the table. Your heart plummeted.

"What?" Mary shrugged, the alcohol clearly having gone to her head. "We have to! It's the rules."

"Wait! Hold on," Marlene murmered, her eyes drifting between the two girls. "Did you guys..."

There was a heavy anticipatory silence that hung over the table as you all awaited Lily's response. The girl grimaced, as she tried to muster some kind of explanation.

It was then that her eyes drifted up to meet James' pleading ones.

"Lily?" the boy asked softly. Your heart broke for him.

"So I guess the cat's out of the bag huh?" the girl sighed. "Mary and I have sort of been seeing each other. Romantically."

"Holy shit!" Marlene shouted, candid and straight to the point as she usually was in these situations.

"How long has this been going on?" Dorcas questioned.

"It's still really new," Lily explained.

"We were just trying to figure out the right time to tell you guys," Mary added.

"So you're the one Mary has been seeing?" James murmered.

"Yes," Lily responded. "I'm sorry James but you had to know it was never going to work out between us."

The boy sighed, running a hand through his unruly curls. "Yeah, I know."

Then he started to stand. "I think I just need some air for a minute."

"James, wait-" Remus reached out to grab his arm but James shook him off.

"I just need minute," he repeated, grabbing his coat from the back of his chair and hurrying towards the exit. Part of you wanted to go after him but the other part recognised that he probably needed some space to process things.

"Sorry, everyone. I didn't mean to ruin the night," Mary murmered folornly.

"No hun! you didn't ruin anything," you comforted.

"Yeah, we're really happy for you two," Dorcas added.

"Really?"

Everyone nodded.

"Absolutely. You both deserve to be happy," Remus confirmed.

Wide smiles crossed over the girls' faces.

--

It was two minutes until midnight and Sirius was nowhere to be seen. Despite your better judgement, you couldn't help but feel slightly disapointed. You supposed that there was some small aspect of your mind that hoped Sirius would be your New Years kiss.

You knew it was wishful thinking, especially when you hadn't even spoken about what happened between you, but with how he'd been acting towards you throughout the night, you'd allowed yourself to nurture that flicker of hope.

As people crowded around the window and the countdown began, you found your eyes searching the room for the dark haired man, wondering if just maybe, he'd make a last minute appearance.

"Five, four, three, two..."

You scanned the space one last time.

"One!"

You're last flicker of hope died out as your eyes finally landed on his form.

"Happy New Year!"

The shouts and cheers faded into the background as you watched Sirius press his lips to those of the boob-y blonde you'd seen him flirting with before.

The moment seemed to go in slow motion. You watched from afar as he tangled his hand in her hair, just as he'd done in yours only a week prior.

"Of course," you thought. "Typical"

It was Sirius Black you were talking about. You were stupid to think you meant anything more to him than a casual night of fun.

In an instant, you turned on your heel and walked towards the door, the sounds of the party fading into the background. You decided, instead of bumming around waiting for Sirius to notice you, you'd go look for James, just as you should've done much earlier.

The cold hit you like a block of cement as you stepped outside onto the street. It didn't take you long to find him.

He was sitting on the curb, outside of he bar, arms resting on his knees as he looked up towards the sky. Another explosion sounded and a flash of colour filled the air. In the distance, you could hear the cheers of excited people all around as they celebrated.

"Happy New Year, James."

He turned to look at you and in the flash of light, as another firework flickered across the sky, you were able to notice the faint tear tracks that lined his cheeks.

"Oh hey." he sniffled, rubbing a hand beneath his glasses and trying to regain a semblance of composure.

BANG!

You flopped unceremoniously onto the ground beside him as another flash filled the sky. You gave him a sympathetic smile. Funnily enough, in that moment, you knew exactly how he felt.

"Are you okay?" You asked him gently.

He let out a dry chuckle. "Yeah. I will be."

BANG!

"Good."

You both turned your gazes back to the display, taking in the beautiful array of colours filling the air. It wasn't quite the view you'd expected for the night, but somehow, that didn't seem to matter.

As you continued to watch the fireworks, you felt the gentle touch of a hand wrapping around your own. You smiled slightly as your fingers intertwined.

BANG!

Slowly, you shuffled closer and leaned into him, gently resting your head on James broad shoulder.

You stayed like that a while, just taking in the show, and each other's company.

--

Taglist:

@hisparentsgallerryy @navs-bhat @shushbruv @magicwithaknife @eeviee4 @notapoetjustscar @gugggu6gvai @robertsmithclone @ilovesugurugeto69 @taytayy178 @its-notkiee @bugworldsworld @switchingfandomslikecrazy @evangelquill, @delusional-4-fake-people, @ch4rlotte35, @insideoutjulie, @hiireadstuff, @laniirackssss, @starrystormwritings, @strategicsweetheart, @1800brat, @sammyreid, @frootloops1213, @ill-be-okay-soon-enough

[dustpages]

PornMum

I opened the front door of my flat with a loud bang. I was pissed, the shooting was called off last minute and I had travelled for two hours to reach the location.

" Hi, Mum." my little boy greeted me from his bedroom. 

It was the middle of the summer and the only thing he had been doing so far was reading and playing video games, I was aware he didn't like to socialize with his peers. I was his only parent, his father left us when he was just born.

" Honey I'll be to you in a second.” I yelled across the house walking to the kitchen to get myself something to drink. I was thirsty and sweaty, even though I had dyed my hair blonde and I was wearing just a top and skirt the heat was unbearable. 

I took some cold water from the fridge and drank it at once.  

I put the glass back in its place and headed to my son’s room, knocking softly before entering. He looked up from the screen and smiled. "How have you been?" I asked him sitting beside him.

He shrugged. "Alright, just read some manga."

"You need to go out more." I opined, trying not to sound too harsh but concerned about him being stuck at home all day long without seeing anyone else. 

He swiftly dodged my gaze and sighed deeply. " Whatever. Why are you home so early today?" he questioned. 

I sat on his bed. " My last schedule was cancelled last minute." I explained without giving him too much information.

He was just 12 years old and being told I was one of the most successful, requested and appreciated JAV actresses in Japan wasn't something I would share with him. He knew me as Mina, the kind and loving mother who always cooked delicious dinner for him. Not the one that was an adult film actress. 

"Oh, what happened then?" he asked innocently. 

I tried to explain my situation without making any reference to the industry I worked for. " The director told me they wanted to postpone it. So I came home." 

He nodded. " I see."

I glanced at him, looking him in the eyes. " Hey, do you want to eat something? I'm hungry, let’s prepare something together." I suggested with a smile. He agreed.

We went to the kitchen hand in hand, he was still short and thin for his age. But his blue eyes made up for it. We both loved cooking and baking, especially him since he enjoyed eating sweets, I did my best to make sure he had a balanced diet.

While we were cooking some of the tomato sauce for the spaghetti landed on my clothes, staining both top and skirt. 

" Dammit." he cussed. He has stirred the sauce with too much energy causing the little mess on my outfit.

" Do not worry, honey." I reassured him and got off my skirt and top right there in the kitchen. His eyes widened in surprise.

"What are you doing, mum?!" he said, sounding embarrassed.

I giggled and caressed his cheek. " Don’t be silly, this is nothing. You’ve seen my butt many times before." I teased him, bending over to clean the stains from the floor. 

My ass was on full display for him and I could feel him staring at my cheeks, so plump and round, my pussy lips covered with just my small panties. It was nothing new for him to see me almost completely nude since I rarely wore anything around the house but his reaction was strange, he looked flushed and nervous. 

“ Mum... Are you going to take your underwear off as well?" he stuttered. 

I turned around to look at him. " What?! No! Of course not." I laughed nervously. " Unless you asked for it."

He became red as the tomato sauce. " I don't know what you are talking about." he ran out of the kitchen and into the living room.

I sighed and turned off the stove. Slowly I made my way to him, who was sat the sofa fidgeting with his hands on in lap.

" What's wrong baby?" I asked him sitting next to him.

He didn't say anything for a good minute, busy in deep thought. " I do have a problem in my underwear," he affirmed not sparing a glance to me.

"  How come?" I inquired.

" They're wet." he whispered so low I barely heard it. " And it doesn't stop leaking." he continued. 

His words sent shivers down my spine, I couldn't believe it. 

" Let me see." I gently pulled him to stand and unbuttoned his trousers. His briefs were soaked through with precum. 

" This is normal honey. All boys your age leak precum now and then. Especially when they see a hot girl." I told him trying to reassure him. He blushed again.

"It never occurred before." he panicked.

"Well, maybe you liked what you saw earlier." I mused.

 " Maybe you liked your mum’s body." I added teasingly. 

" That’s ok honey, it’s normal to think your mother is sexy." I encouraged him.

He seemed to relax a bit. " But it’s not appropriate." he complained.

I stood up and cupped his face. " Nothing is wrong, honey. You’re my son, but also a boy." I comforted him, feeling somehow attracted to him.

" Now, if you excuse me I'm going to change. You can stay here or join me." I winked at him. His eyes fixed on mine for a few seconds before nodding in agreement. 

As soon as we were inside my bedroom I closed the door and locked it. Then I stripped from my bra and panties. My son looked at me wide-eyed, taking in my naked form.

" Come here." I said walking to him. I felt him tremble as our bodies touched. My hands caressed his back, slowly descending to squeeze his bum. 

"Do you like it?" I asked him. He nodded shyly.

I kissed his neck softly, moving my hands to grab his cock through his trousers. He gasped as I stroked him over his pants. " Take it out for me." I commanded him. 

He obeyed me pulling out his dick. It was bigger than expected for a boy of his age, yet far from the ones I had to deal with at work. I gave him a few strokes while kissing his neck and biting his earlobes. He moaned in pleasure. 

" Mum, my member doesn't get soft." he affirmed worriedly in between moans. 

"  It’s ok honey. I'll make it soft." I assured him. I knelt in front of him, licking the tip of his penis. His legs wobbled.

" Mum..." he moaned my name. I took him fully in my mouth sucking and bobbing my head, tasting him for the first time.

I worked shipped his dick for less than 2 minutes and he shuddered in front of me. "I- I'm feeling a warm sensation spreading all over my body." he stated worried. " What is happening?"

I chucked releasing his dick from my mount and enveloping it into my hand. " You are cumming." I explained stroking faster.

" Am I supposed to feel something like this!?" he shouted losing control over himself.

I kept stroking until he exploded all over my breasts, covering them with his load. He fell on the bed exhausted, breathing heavily. 

I wiped my chest clean using some tissues and lay next to him. " See, it’s ok baby. There is nothing to be ashamed of." I told him smiling. He nodded still catching his breath.

" Mum can you explain to me what just happened?" he questioned me shyly.

" You see,  honey, you reached orgasm. Your member released semen and it felt good." I explained to him.

His eyes widen in shock. " Does it happen to women as well?" 

I laughed at his ingenuity. " It does, you made me  so horny that I want to have sex right now." I confessed.

He blushed but said nothing. Instead, he stared at my breasts. I could tell he wanted me to. 

" You want to fuck me, don't you?" I asked bluntly, biting my lower lip.

He looked at me puzzled. " What does it even mean?" 

I chuckled. " Let me show you instead."

I climbed on top of him and started grinding against his thighs. He hardened instantly. 

I knew I should have gone easy on him. It was his first time and me being used to dealing with men more experienced and older than him was a risk for him, if I did go to ride him the same way I usually did with other cocks he would break in half. But I couldn’t help it, I craved him so much. 

I was horny to stop and he looked so cute under me, so innocent. I needed to fuck him, I needed him to fill me and stretch my insides.

I rubbed my slit against his hardness, feeling the head of his dick poking me. 

" What are you doing?" he whimpered.

" I'm riding your dick baby." I moaned. I aligned myself perfectly with his member and impaled myself on it. He let out a sharp intake of air as he felt himself inside of me. 

The feeling was satisfying, he wasn't big enough to give me any issue stretching my pussy. I started to move my hips up and down, feeling his cock hitting my cervix each time I lowered myself onto him. I was moaning loudly and panting hard.

He was enjoying it as well, he held my waist firmly with his hand. I leaned forward and kissed him, feeling his tongue dancing with mine. Our teeth clicked together as I bounced on him harder and harder.

As I was expecting his member throbbed inside of me after a few minutes. I had to play smart not to make him feel bad about his performance, even though I was enjoying it thoroughly. 

" Baby, I can't take it anymore." I lied. " Please cum."  

His eyes lit up. " Really?"

I nodded and kept bouncing on him, not letting him stop thrusting into me. " Yes, cum inside of me." I begged.

He gasped at my words and buried his face into my neck as he unloaded himself deep into my womb. His arms wrapped tightly around my back, holding me close to him.

When he finished pumping his seed into me we collapsed on the mattress, panting and sweating profusely. " Did I do a good job?" he asked me shyly. I kissed his forehead. " Perfect."

I couldn't afford to tell him I wanted to keep going all night long." You can sleep here, tonight." I informed him. 

He hugged me tightly. " Thank you mum."

I wrapped my arms around him as well, feeling how his heart was still beating fast and strong.

The next few days flew like always, I had been called for a few shootings and my baby kept staying in his room days in and days out. 

It was a tiring Friday night, I plopped on the sofa wearing a white top and a matching pair of shorts. I had worked all the afternoon filming different scenes.

" Baby, I'm back." I called my son.

He came into the living room carrying his laptop, he was dead serious. " We need to talk." his blue eyes made me shiver more than the air conditioner. 

" Wha.." I tried to speak, but he cut me off. " Hear me out first."

It was unusual for him to be this cold with me. " I was doing some of my homework today and one of the requests was to look on Google for some information about our relatives and guess what happened as soon as I entered your name?" he was slightly losing his temperament. 

"  I don't understand." I said confused.

" All the results were about you and your career as AV Idol!!" he exclaimed. " All those fucking films you've done! And how people call you 'JAV Queen' because you are the most requested actress!" 

I stared at him shocked. " Well.."

" Well, what?" he interrupted me again. " You told me while we were fucking that you couldn't take anymore, and yet your last video that hit the charts was you begging a man with an 11 inches dick to keep fucking you and filling your tight pussy!"

My jaw dropped. " Um... I didn't want to lie to you." I stammered. I wanted to hide under the rug.

He shook his head. " Of course, you didn't!" he yelled. His little body was shaking in anger.

" Baby let me explain." I talked in a lower tone.

" Alright." he affirmed. " Explain to me the reason why you lied to me during our first time."

I sighed, hoping for the best. " Because I wanted to make you feel good about yourself." 

He glared at me. " If you cared about me you would have told me the truth." he huffed.

" Baby!" I pleaded. " You have seen in my videos how wild I am, I didn't want to break you or to scare you. And I wanted you to have a special time with your mother, no matter the circumstances."

He crossed his arms and pouted. " Is it true you love other men more than me?"

I shook my head. " Absolutely not! I love you more than anything in the world, but I enjoy sex with them."

" I'm well aware of that now, no need to remark it." he spat.

I sighed and walked in front of him. " What do you want me to do to make it up to you?"

I raised his chin defiantly. " Tell me."

He avoided my gaze. " Have you saved enough money?" he questioned. 

" More than you and I can spend in a lifetime." I replied honestly. " Why?"

He stared at me dead in the eyes. " I want you to retire, to leave that disgusting industry behind you and be just my mother, the one who is just special to me. Just my mother."

I looked at him, feeling conflicted. " Baby, money aside, how are we gonna deal with the lack of affection I crave for?" I asked him softly.

His eyes flamed. " I crave for you. I'm young and you could mould me as you please to fulfil all you need." his voice was firm.

I smirked widely. "  You do, huh?". " Yes." he nodded.

" Show me then." I challenged him. 

And he did, he proved to be more eager and greedy than any other man I had ever met. He ate me out like he was starving, making me scream and squirt in his mouth.

" Bed." I moaned, my legs were trembling from my climax. He took my hand and walked to my bedroom. 

" Baby, we are not done yet. You know, right.?" I asked him kneeling in the middle of the mattress. 

He nodded and crawled towards me. I reached down and grabbed his dick into my hand.

" I'm gonna make you ready." I stroked his length slowly and licked his head, taking him into my mouth and sucking hungrily. " You taste so sweet, baby." I praised him, feeling his precum leaking on my tongue. 

He moaned in delight and grabbed my head with his hands, pushing me down on his cock. I gagged a bit as he fucked my mouth.

After a few minutes, I pushed him away from me and lay down. " Fuck me now, baby." I urged him.

He positioned himself in between my thighs, lining up his member to my pussy and pressing it into me. He filled me, his thickness stretched my inner walls and I screamed in pain and pleasure.

" Harder, baby." I egged him on. His thrusts were slow at the beginning but became rougher as he gained confidence.

He slammed into me furiously and I let out screams of joy. He grabbed my ankles and placed them on his shoulders, pounding me relentlessly.

I felt him pulsing inside of me and squeezed my muscles around him.

" Cum, baby." I demanded.

He let out a strangled cry and released himself into my hole. I felt his hot seed coating my insides and it was glorious, so much so it triggered my orgasm and I climaxed around him. He collapsed on top of me, spent.

" That was great baby." I purred satisfied, stroking his head.

" Can we do it again?" he asked curiously.

" We will. Soon." I promised him. " You’re gonna be the king of this house from now on." 

He laughed. " Funny. Are you gonna retire for real?" he questioned. 

" I will, but there is one last shot I need to do the day after tomorrow that I cannot cancel so out of the blue." I replied. " But I want you to be on set with me, to see how everything goes." I proposed.

" Ok." he agreed. I cuddled with him and drifted away, thinking of all the dirty things I wanted to do with him. 

The day of the shoot arrived and I was nervous but excited at the same time, not only because it would be my last scene but also because my son would be present to watch it. 

We drove to the location which was a luxurious mansion, I had shot here a few times already and I knew exactly where I would find my colleagues and the crew. 

We reached the dressing room and my son followed me in, watching as I undressed and put on the costume chosen for the occasion. It was a black dress and a pair of high heels.

" It's not bad." he commented as I spun around to check how my dress fit me from behind. 

I looked at him amused. " Just not bad?" 

He looked on the floor. " You are extremely sexy." he mumbled.

I laughed. " You're such a good boy." I praised him. I leaned down and pecked his forehead, noticing as he blushed. 

I cupped his chin. " Remember, this is all for fun, and you need to remember that."

He nodded solemnly. " I promise to behave." 

" Good boy." I kissed him again.

The producer of the film came into the room to fetch me. " Hey Mina, we are all ready for you outside. This will be your last scene, do your best.

I grinned. " Of course." I waved at my son and left the dressing room. 

I stepped on set and found my partner for the shoot, the famous 11-inch dick named Jax.  He was a tall guy with broad shoulders, dark brown hair and hazel eyes. His cock was so thick that the guys on set used to compare it to a cucumber. 

" Hello, Mina." he greeted me with a smile.

I returned it. " Nice to meet you again."

" So, we will be playing as lovers cheating on their spouses and we end up having passionate sex." the producer explained.

" Sounds perfect." I approved, already knowing the script. 

" Action!" the director shouted. 

The scene began with us dancing and drinking alcohol at the party hosted in the house. It went smoothly until we reached the part where we were meant to kiss passionately and start fooling around. 

Everything changed when he slipped his hand into my dress and grabbed my breast. My eyes darted to my son standing behind the camera, he looked surprised by the sudden touch but not upset. He had an odd expression on his face, a mixture of confusion and lust. 

The scene proceeds with us groping each other. Jax pinched my nipples and slid his hand up my thigh and to my mound, caressing it through the fabric of my panties. I gasped in pleasure.

I glanced at my son again, he had a hard time hiding his boner and I felt sorry for him. " Sorry honey." I mouthed to him, hoping he could read my lips. 

He didn't seem bothered and gestured for me to continue.

We moved to the sofa and the director ordered us to remove our clothes. I obliged stripping out of my dress, leaving me bare apart from my bra and panties. Jax followed my example.

"  Let's try some foreplay, Jax can you eat her out." the director said, addressing my partner.

Jax didn't need to be told twice, he pushed me onto the sofa and settled himself in between my legs. 

His tongue was very skilled and had me writhing in pleasure within seconds, he licked my labia and my clit, sucking on my nub greedily. I moaned loudly as I felt myself nearing my release. 

My hand pushed him deeper into my folds, urging him to go on. He lapped at me eagerly, sending sparks through my body.

I looked at my son again and found him touching himself through his trousers, his face was red in embarrassment. I felt sorry for putting him in that position, but at the same time, it was arousing to see him so affected by the sight of me getting eaten out. 

Jax stopped suddenly and my gaze snapped back on him as he kneeled in front of me, holding his throbbing member. " She tastes wonderful." he complimented. 

I spread my legs further inviting him to enter me. He plunged into me, stretching me like a rag doll. I arched my back at the sudden invasion and moaned. 

" Mina, you have a tight pussy." he grunted. " I'm not even halfway in."

He began thrusting, slowly at first, allowing me to adjust to his size. Once he was fully seated in my channel he picked up his pace, pounding me fiercely.

I moaned at his ministration, my hands clawed at the cushion of the sofa.

" Oh god!" I shouted in pleasure. " Yes! Fuck me like that." I cried out as he hit my spot, rubbing it repeatedly.

My body trembled as he kept ramming me, I was at his complete mercy. My orgasm came overbearingly, causing me to convulse wildly. 

He fucked me through my climax, not stopping in the slightest. 

He was proving himself to be one of the best actors in the business. " Change position." the director ordered. 

We ended up in a reverse cowgirl. My legs were still trembling from the aftershock of my climax but I managed to sit on him, impaling myself on his cock.

I started to bounce on him, rubbing myself against his pelvis. His hands grabbed my tits from behind and kneaded them roughly. 

I was getting close again he rubbed my clit with his big fingers, making me clench around his shaft. " Yes!" I screamed, reaching another orgasm.

I collapsed on him, feeling exhausted from the intensity of my climaxes. He lifted me from his member, causing me to whine from the loss of him.

He pushed me face down on the sofa and entered me doggy style. 

His thrusts were savage and violent, he pounded me relentlessly. I loved it, the feeling of being owned by him. My body shook as he slammed into me, my tits jiggling.

His hands gripped my waist, keeping me still and preventing me from escaping his onslaught. 

" Fuck yes! Give it all to me." I screamed as he drilled into me.

"You adore my fat dick, don't you slut?" he groaned in my ear. I nodded eagerly.

Suddenly he slowed his thrusts and his member started to twitch inside of me. " Ahhh! Cum inside of me!" I shouted, squeezing him tightly.

He moaned and spurted his load into me, coating my insides with his seed. His movements were becoming slower and slower until he stopped entirely. He pulled out of me leaving me empty.

" Cut!" the director announced. 

I felt dizzy from the number of climaxes I had reached and tired from the scene. Jax helped me stand up and I thanked him. My gaze wandered searching for my son, finding him sitting far behind the camera and staring at me with an unreadable expression. 

He approached me with hesitant steps, avoiding eye contact. " So, you liked it, huh?" I teased him. 

" At first yes, while you were still making eye contact with me." he asserted. " But not at all while you two got lost fucking like animals." 

I chuckled and patted his head. " Baby, you gotta understand  that sex is not all about romance, sometimes you just wanna get lost in the act."

He avoided responding to me and walked back to the car. I pitied him, he must have been hurt by the way I acted during the shoot. 

I got cleaned and bid my farewell to all the cast, I found my baby boy playing with his phone while leaning on the car. He barely acknowledged my presence when I sat next to him. I drove back home, not daring to ask him how he felt.

" I'll order some dinner and we can watch a movie together, how does it sound?" I proposed as soon as we were in the safety of our house. 

He shrugged and kept on his phone. I decided to give him space and not bother him for the rest of the evening. 

I woke up to the sound of a knock on the door. " May I come in?" his voice was low and tender.  

I sat up and opened the door. " Of course baby, what are you doing here so late?"

He walked into my room and closed the door behind him. I could smell his cologne, a scent so fresh and enticing. " Can I sleep here tonight?" he asked shyly. 

" Of course." I welcomed him.

He hesitated not moving a centimetre. " Baby, if you want to be my partner you gotta be more confident within yourself." I began. 

" I quit as you requested, now let me show you how good I am." I added signaling him to lie with me on the bed.

He complied and snuggled next to me. I cupped his face. " Don't you want me, baby?" I whispered seductively. 

"I do." he confirmed. I kissed his lips, tasting his sweetness.

" Good. Now, let’s take off these pesky clothes." I cooed.

He stripped quickly, showing me his lean body and his hard dick. It was still impressive considering he hadn't hit puberty yet.

I removed my shirt and panties and straddled him. " Show me what you can do." I dared him.

He held my hips and guided me onto his dick, impaling me easily, I squeaked in shock. He moved his hips under me and I bounced on him, my tits swaying wildly as he pumped into me from below. 

I leaned forward and kissed his forehead, feeling the sweat droplets forming on his skin. I pressed my chest to his and kissed him passionately as he fucked me.

He reached up and played with my tits, fondling them gently. I moaned at the pleasure of it all. His finger traced circles around my nipple causing me to shudder.

He picked up speed and his thrusts became more intense, slamming into me repeatedly. I cried out in bliss from his ministrations. 

" You are gonna came me cum." I told him staring into his eyes.  

His eyes darkened. " I know, you are." he affirmed.

" Yes, baby." I moaned. I rubbed myself against him feeling his thickness fill me.

He grasped my waist and rolled us over, putting himself in control. He pinned me beneath him and fucked me savagely, his thrusts powerful and deep.

" Ahhh!" I cried out, my body shivering in ecstasy. " Make me yours." I begged.

He grunted, his expression twisted in pleasure. " Mine." he muttered. " Only mine."

His body tensed and his cock pulsed inside of me. He growled and spilt himself into me, filling my hole with his load. 

I orgasmed around him, squeezing his dick and milking him for more. 

We stayed connected for a few moments, breathing heavily, sweat dripping on our bodies.

I rolled my hips around his sensitive length. " You did good, baby." I made him moan. " But mommy demands more." 

He sighed happily but concern. " I'll do my best." he promised.

" Oh baby, I won't let you do anything less than your best and more." I rolled us once more. " You stay still and let me take care of you." 

He nodded. " Whatever you want."

I began to move my hips slowly, rotating and grinding around his semi-erect cock. His breath hitched in response. 

"You want my mouth again?" I teased. He nodded vigorously. 

I crawled down his body and took him into my mouth, sucking and licking his head and shaft.

His member grew bigger in my mouth as I pleasured it with my tongue. His hips bucked up as I sucked him, eager for more of me. 

He gasped and claimed me on him, I aligned him at my entrance and sank onto him, taking his length in one go. 

He cursed at the feeling of my inner walls gripping his hardness. His eyes roamed my body, drinking in the view of me on top of him. 

I rocked my hips, taking him deep into my core. His hands kneaded my ass as I bounced on his dick. 

I leaned down and kissed him, moaning at the feeling of his tongue in my mouth. He sucked my bottom lip and nibbled on my neck.

I moved my hips faster, increasing the pace of our coupling. His hand reached down and rubbed my clit, causing me to moan louder. 

" Yes!" I shouted as he rubbed my bud with his fingers. " You know how to make me  feel good."

His hand felt magical on my body, playing my clit. I rode him harder and harder, feeling my orgasm approaching rapidly. 

" Baby, try to hold back." I warned him, my body gave in and gushed out a torrent of liquid all over his stomach and cock.

I kept grinding on him through my climax, my muscles clenched around him.

He grunted in pain and pleasure. " Mommy!" he cried out. 

I held him still inside of me during my climax. 

I leaned in, kissing his lips eagerly. " Bravo, you didn't come yet." I praised him. " Now do all you desire to  me." 

His eyes darkened in desire. " Turn around." he demanded. I complied, crawling on my hands and knees in front of him.

" Spread your legs." he ordered. I did as told.

" What a beautiful ass you have." he complimented, slapping my cheeks lightly. 

I moaned at the sting. " Harder, baby. Spank it."

He obliged smacking me harder, reddening my skin. 

" Now, fuck it." I demanded. He didn't hesitate to plunge into me from behind, driving his cock deep inside of me.

His thrusts were brutal and relentless, he slapped my ass every time he bottomed out into me. My pussy clenched around him in pleasure.

" Ohhh!" I screamed.

His grip on my hip tightened as he fucked me wildly, his balls slapping against my thighs. His grunts were becoming more desperate and loud.

I leaned forward, bracing myself on the headboard. He bent over me and grabbed my tits, fondling and twisting them. His hot breath brushed against my ear.

" You like this?" he panted. " Being fucked by your son?"

"Yes." I breathed out. " More." I pleaded.

His fingers found my clit and rubbed it vigorously. I was close to reaching my climax again. 

" Cum with me." I ordered.

He didn't argue. " I'm going to cum!" he shouted and slammed into me one last time before he emptied himself inside of me.

I squeezed his cock as he released his seed, milking him for all his worth. He collapsed on top of me, spent. 

We remained there for a few minutes, his weight pressing down on me and his breath on my skin. His member still inside of me. 

" That was great baby." I praised him.

He rolled off me and we cuddled in bed. " Thanks." he replied.

" You deserve it." I caressed his cheek. " I love you." I admitted. 

"And I love you too, mum." he answered me. His eyes were heavy with exhaustion, his eyelids drooping shut. I watched him fall asleep, lulled by the rhythm of my heartbeat. I wrapped my arms around him and fell asleep too. 

I woke up by the tip of his fingers tracing different paths on my body, his eyes looked at me with utter devotion.  " Hi." he greeted me.

We cuddled for a bit, he got more clingy and affectionate than ever. " Baby, you gotta think to find a girlfriend sooner or later." I stated.

He frowned and squeezed my flesh in his hand. " Do not say blasphemous things." he hissed. " I won't leave you alone NEVER."

I smirked. " That's my boy." 

Flesh pressed on flesh, as we explored each other’s bodies with carnal abandon. Together we steadily built to a crescendo of ecstasy. Our faces contorted with bliss,  our breaths quickened, and our bodies tensed. We were one being, united in our mutual pleasure.

We crested the wave of rapture together. I cried out, overcome with euphoria, as he filled me with his essence. His cries mingled with mine, creating a symphony of passion.

As our bodies calmed, he collapsed on me. We shared a tender kiss, savouring the remnants of our climax. We basked in the glow of our union, our souls entwined in love.  Our embrace was eternal, a testament to the depth of our bond. We knew that nothing could ever sever the ties that bound us together.

In the silence that followed, we shared a moment of pure understanding. Our connection transcended the boundaries of familial relations, and we were one in spirit and flesh. Our love was pure, untainted by the judgement of others. We had discovered our brand of heaven, right here on earth.

Together, we embarked on a journey of endless exploration, driven by the burning fire of our desires. Every day brought new experiences, fresh adventures that fueled our passion. Our love thrived in the secrecy of our sanctuary, free from the world's prying eyes.

In our hidden paradise, we indulged in a life of hedonistic pleasures, surrendering ourselves to the whims of our hearts. We revelled in the ecstasy of our love, secure in the knowledge that we were truly, madly, deeply in love.

[yuyusshinelight]

Dad thoughts feat ATEEZ: First Word

⚠️ Warnings ⚠️

♪ This post is about how I think they would be as parents; just that, some thoughts. This does NOT represent any of Ateez's members in any way.

♪ English is not my first language so sorry if there's any mistake.

Vocabulary just in case someone doesn't know:

Y/S/N — your son's name

Y/D/N — your daughter's name

Jagi — sweetheart, darling, etc...

Note: Hi my shining stars! First of all, happy new year! How has been your beginning of the year? I hope you all are fine🩷✨. Mine has been so-so, I'm sick but I'm getting better now. So, taking advantage of being better today, I'm here to bring you a new scenario for our boys being dads cause I know how much you like those parenting headcanons. I hope not, but if there are any errors or something that is poorly structured, please let me know. I hope you like it and enjoy your reading. Love you all, my shining stars!!!

SEONGHWA

✰ Obviously his little star's first word was 'Daddy'. Seonghwa had spent all her short life repeating it every time he could for her to learn it before any other thing. The poor idol came back home after a hard day at work, wanting more than ever in his married life to lie on the couch with you on one side and your little star resting in his chest. What a beautiful surprise his baby gave him when she appeared crawling towards him to welcome him while mumbling what Seonghwa could perfectly understand as "Daddy". According to what you told him, your little girl had spent the whole afternoon calling him, which made Seonghwa die of love for your daughter but at the same time sad that he had missed her very first word. Good thing you had recorded it.

HONGJOONG

✰ His son's first word was so comical but so inappropriate for a kid of his age. It happened one night in which Hongjoong was in charge of bathing your kid. The so excited baby was splashing all over the place, laughing at how awesome those waves of foam were and making his father laugh too for how cute the scene was. Everything was fun and laughs from both father and son until some foam reached one of Hongjoong's eyes. The male was not aware of that swear word he let out unconsciously until he heard his baby say "Fuck". Good luck you didn't hear it because Hongjoong was more than sure that you would have been angry with him for that.

YUNHO

✰ The first word of Yunho's first son was 'Spiderman', followed almost immediately by 'Daddy'. It was one of Yunho's free days so he obviously decided to spend it entirely with his family. He played with your baby in your bed for an hour, you all went for a walk in the park, he did household chores while you spent time playing with your kid and his didactic toys... Yunho even ended up taking a nap with your baby. And now, while you were giving your kid his bath, Yunho was playing a bit with his PlayStation. A little moment for himself that ended up being shared with your son while you went to prepare dinner because Yunho liked to have his baby near even if he was playing. And then, it happened. The moment Yunho accommodated your son in his lap, the baby pointed at the TV saying "Spidman". That made Yunho look at him with wide eyes, calling you to come quickly as soon as your son said again "Daddy, Spidman".

✰ And, even though he spent months teaching his daughter how to say 'Daddy' because he wanted to be her first word, Yunho was more than excited with the fact that his daughter's first word was 'Brother'. It was one of the cutest things Yuhno had ever heard in his life. His baby called her brother right after she heard the front door. She hadn't even seen him but she already knew that her big brother was the one coming home. He even cried when his daughter hugged his son to welcome him with the widest smile and cutest giggle he had ever seen from her.

YEOSANG

✰ His daughter's first word was 'Chicken'. Surprising to both parents, who couldn't stop laughing for how cute sounded the word in your daughter's voice, but being strangely expected after hearing Yeosang repeat several times to your daughter, "We are eating fried chicken today. Mommy is making delicious fried chicken". It was a special date for Yeosang and you and you wanted to gift him with a meal you knew he would love: Korean fried chicken. What neither of you expected was that your special day would be even more special because it would be the day in which your daughter would say her very first word. It discouraged you both a little bit because you wanted his first word to be something like 'Daddy' or 'Mommy' but you're not complaining either, it was very funny.

SAN

✰ Every time he remembers, the idol can't hold back the tears. He has the moment tattooed in his memory to relive it exactly as it happened whenever he wants. But how not to do it if his first daughter's first words were 'Love you'? San was playing with his daughter to tickle her on your bed when you appeared and gave each one of them a quick kiss. Just after you said 'I love you' your baby repeated you, making both San and you look at each other and almost cry of happiness before kissing your daughter a thousand times more.

✰ With his second daughter was equal as cute as with his first one but so funny too. As every night since your daughter got her own big-girl room, San was with your eldest daughter, telling her a bed story and giving her all the kisses and hugs she asked for before finally tuck her tightly so that his little kitten would not get cold while you were rocking the baby to put her to sleep. Just when he was sure his daughter was sleeping, San turned the little purple bed-side light on and exited his daughter's room, going to his second child's room now to give her a goodnight kiss. What a funny surprise she gave him when as soon as he peeked through the door, the baby blurted out that sleepy 'Sannie'.

✰ And, as it could not be otherwise, his third son's first words were so cute too. Yes, in plural. His eldest daughter was playing peekaboo with her young brother while the second child was sleeping on the couch in your arms. Both San and you were looking at the cute scene with wide smiles when your son threw his head back to look at his father. San, who was smiling even wider, said "What happens, baby? What does big sister do?" Then your son laughed with his hand on his mouth but, even with his tiny fist playing with his lower lip, you two heard that clearly 'Big sister' from the baby.

MINGI

✰ The Song twins had the same first word. Indeed, they said it almost at the same time, first his daughter and then his son. Mingi will always remember that day. He had come back home later from the studio last night so when he arrived home your kids were already sleeping. He couldn't hug and kiss his babies as he wanted because he didn't want to wake them up, obviously, so, after a soft kiss in their tiny heads, the sad dad went to sleep. The beautiful moment happened the next morning, when he woke up and went to pick up his children to give them their breakfast. His daughter let out that tiny 'Daddy' that his son repeated seconds before, not giving Mingi even a second to process what was happening before they started to repeat it more and more times.

WOOYOUNG

✰ His first son's said 'Jagi' as first word. Always hearing his parents say it to each other, it was more than obvious that the baby would learn it sooner or later. The story is that Wooyoung was doing his best to entertain your kid while you were taking a bath. Your baby was at that stage in which every child developed that strong need to be with their mother or father and your son only wanted to be with you. Fortunately, your son didn't burst into tears like many other times, so you could take a quiet but short shower because you didn't want to push your luck farther. If you had known... The moment your son saw you he went from laughing with his father to crying because he wanted to be with mommy. You couldn't do anything else than to go to hold him in your arms obviously "Come with mommy" and as soon as you took your kid in your arms he called you 'Jagi', leaving both Wooyoung and you speechless.

✰ His second one's first word was 'Mommy'. You were preparing breakfast while Wooyoung was playing with your still sleepy children in your bed. It's not like he didn't want to help you, it was more like his little babies had him captive between the comfortable and warm sheets of your bed, giving him a lot of good morning kisses to which Wooyoung could do nothing but give them their corresponding kisses. But then your eldest son tried to get out of the bed on his own, that was the perfect signal to get up so, holding his second child in one arm and giving the first one his free hand, Wooyoung went to the kitchen with both kids. That was when your youngest son called you, making you turn to look at them with wide eyes and a big bright smile on your face.

JONGHO

✰ The first word of Jongho's little bear was 'Mommy'. He was alone at home with your child, a boy's day as Jongho told you. And by the moment their boy's day had been fairly uneventful. The child had eaten well, he took a nap without problems, they had been playing a lot... Until now. It was your son's bath time but the child did not want to take a bath. Or rather, he didn't want daddy to bathe him. According to your theories, it was because you played with him while bathing him and Jongho bathed and got him out quickly. In other words, you were calling him boring. Good thing he had already caught his son after running after him all over the living room. What a surprise Jongho got the moment he heard that little "Mommy" from his son as he was taking him to bathe "Your mother will not like having missed your first word, buddy".

[measuredingold]

my soul is useless without you

author's note: part two to i'd walk through hell for you is finally here ! i'm not sure if i want to do a third part, but we’ll see lol but i'm currently working on something for folio 👀 as always, i hope you enjoy and feedback is appreciated ! also, if yall have any requests, send them my way :) i'm in the mood to write but inspiration is running thin lol

pairing: noah sebastian x reader

divider: @saradika-graphics

word count: 3.5k

cross posted on ao3 / part one

cw/tw: angst, hurt/comfort, Noah Sebastian Is Bad At Feelings But A Good Friend, reader is going through it, anxiety, hints/mentions of depression, noah is just a good guy and cares about reader a lot ( more than he realizes ), friends to lovers pining lol, 18+ minors do not interact

It's when Jolly asks Noah in-between takes if he'd heard from you recently that the anxiety finally settles in.

Because he doesn't know the last time he's heard from you. Which isn't normal.

He's a bad texter, notorious for looking at messages and making a note to reply to them later or replying in his mind, but he always makes sure to reply to you whenever the two of you aren't together. It's just always been a thing, to always have some form of communication with you when he wasn't over at yours or if you weren't at his, so it panics him when he can't remember the last time he'd spoken to you.

He goes through your messages and finds that it wasn't him this time who didn't respond, but instead it was you. Relief washes over him briefly, the guilt of forgetting to respond to his best friend vanishing, but then that anxiety comes back full force. 

You didn't respond.

You always responded.

He sends off a quick message to you, apologizing for being in studio mode and not leaving the house and asks if you're alright. He waits. They go through another take, he somehow doesn't fuck it up even though his mind isn't all the way there. You still haven't responded by the fifth take and that's when he starts to feel sick, stomach twisting with the worry of what could be wrong. 

He tries to think back to if you've ever gone this long without speaking and he can't think of a time when that has happened. 

"Earth to Noah." Jolly's voice pulls him away from his thoughts.

"Oh. Uh, sorry." 

"All good, man." His bandmate eyes him for a second before his eyes flicker towards his phone. "She respond?"

"Um. No." His brows furrowed as he stared at his phone, the black screen mocking him. "Kind of worried."

"Yeah... I am, too." Jolly murmurs. He clicks around on the screen a few times before twisting his chair around to fully face Noah, arms crossing over his chest. "You should go over there. Check and make sure she's alright."

Noah raises a brow at him. "We're in the middle of recording?"

"And?" Jolly shrugs, waving him off. "We got a lot done today, we can wrap it up. Something's obviously wrong and she might need you. That's more important than some song."

He blinks at his friend, letting his words settle in. Jolly's right, he thinks. You are more important than whatever song they're working on. That confirmation makes him feel funny, something tightening beneath his chest but he ignores it, nodding slowly. 

"Okay. You wanna come?"

Jolly shakes his head. "Nah. The both of us might be overwhelming. If you do need me then call, if not..." He shrugs again before lifting himself up out of his chair, groaning softly to himself, "...might be best for just you to go. She'd probably feel better if it's just you, anyways. You know how she is."

Noah isn't quite sure what he means, but nods along anyways. He checks his phone again and still no text, but he notices that you read the message. He should feel relieved at the sign of life but it only makes his anxiety worse, stomach twisting violently. 

"Okay. I'll text you when I get there." 

He's practically running out of the studio after that, the only thing on his mind was you. He needed to make sure you were okay. Deep down he knew that if this was him, you would've already been here, and he feels guilty all over again. He should've paid more attention, shouldn't have let this slip his mind so easily. He thinks back to your last messages together and how you were talking about your work day, overwhelmed and quite frankly, upset about it all. He should've paid closer attention.

He makes it to yours in record time, legs moving him to the door before he can even think about it. He sends up a quiet prayer to the universe that you had given him an extra key months ago and uses it to unlock the door, slowly pushing it open.

He calls out your name, but no answer.

His eyes sweep over your apartment as he enters, scanning the open space. Your kitchen looked untouched, minus the few dirty dishes that were in your sink. A few boxes of Chinese take-out and some bottles of water. He feels almost relieved. You'd been eating and as far as he can tell you'd been keeping yourself somewhat hydrated, so that was a plus. He knows how bad you can be when you get into this headspace - brain fog, forgetting to do basic things like eating and drinking water. But this... this is a step in the right direction.

His eyes move towards the living room and it's just about the same. A pile of blankets lay together at one end of the couch, pillows scattered along the length of the cushions. You'd been there quite a bit, he can tell, but other than that nothing was too bad.

Noah feels like he can breathe for just a second, eyes going straight to the cracked open door to your bedroom. He hears the faint hum of your television and hears the muffled voice of your favorite characters in your favorite comfort show. His chest tightens. You only ever watch it when things get bad inside your head, when things start to become too overwhelming and you need to cling onto something that you know. Something that won't throw any surprises at you and make things worse. 

He makes his way towards your room, ready to call out your name again as he pushes open your door but stops halfway. You're curled up in your bed, covered in a pile of blankets. He steps closer to get a better look at you and he doesn't think he's ever seen you look so peaceful. Lashes against the tops of your cheeks, lips parted. The crease between your brows is relaxed, which never happens. 

Noah takes a deep breath.

You're alright. He can see that you're safe and sound, at least for now, and that's enough for him. He shuts your door behind him and makes his way back into the main room, taking his shoes off by the door. He takes another deep breath to center himself as he looks around your space, hand finding its way to his hair. 

He decides he'll clean up your kitchen and living room. It isn't too bad, and it won't take him too long. He also just... doesn't want to leave yet. He'll wait until you wake up. Make you talk to him, ask what’s up. Probably make you eat something. Then he'll head home. 

Sounds like a good plan to him.

Even though your door is shut he still tries to be quiet, making sure to carefully wash and put away your dishes without making too much of a fuss. After the dishes, he throws away all the take-out boxes and water bottles. He even makes a note to take the trash out for you when he's all done, because he knows you would've done it for him. 

The constant reminder of you and knowing that you'd do something like this for him, and have, is the motivation he needs to continue. It makes him feel warm all over and he thinks how lucky he is to have someone like you as his best friend.

And he definitely ignores the bitter taste in his mouth at the word best friend. 

It's maybe an hour after he's finished, curled up on your couch that now has its pillows in place, and the pile of blankets are neatly folded and put away, that you finally emerge from your room. You rub the sleep out of your eyes, not noticing him on the couch at first, but when you do you make a noise of surprise that has Noah laughing.

"Hey."

He notices the slight flush of your cheeks but ignores it. "Hi?"

"I uh," He scratches the back of his neck, sending you a sheepish smile. "Hadn't talked to you in a few days. Got worried. So did Jolly. Told me to come over. Check on you. You were sleeping so I just," He throws his arms around, gesturing to the space around him, "cleaned up a little? Figured you would appreciate a clean house when you woke up so..." 

He's talking too much, he knows it, but he can't seem to stop the word vomit from coming out. Noah knows you wouldn't mind, but he was nervous, especially because all you do is stare at him without saying a word. Stare and stare and stare until you sniff, brows furrowing.

"...Thanks."

You're unusually quiet and it makes his stomach turn again. You sniff again and Noah swears you look like you're on the verge of tears, and he sits up on the couch. He watches you closely as you wring your hands together in front of you, mouth opening and closing as if you want to say something. You don't, and Noah catches the exact moment when your bottom lip trembles, and he's moving before he can even think about it.

"Hey. It's okay. You’re okay."

He tries to keep his voice soft and free of any panic, but his heart is beating so rapidly against his chest he swears you can hear it. You sniff again, head shaking as your lip continues to tremble and he does the only thing he can think of. He pulls you into his arms and presses you into his chest. You don't move for a second, but eventually your arms circle around his waist. You squeeze, tight, but he doesn't mind. He just squeezes you back. 

Your body begins to shake as the cries start to rack through you, the sound muffled by the fabric of his shirt. Noah swallows down the lump that was beginning to form, cheek resting on the top of your head. He's always hated when you cry. He himself wasn’t one for much display of emotions, but when it came to the people he cared about, he hated seeing them anything but happy. 

Especially you.

He's seen you cry a few times. Well, more than a few times. Sometimes it was over nothing, and then sometimes it was over an incredibly cute dog you'd seen scrolling on Twitter. He didn't mind those, but when it was over something serious, he fucking hated that. He never wanted you to be anything but happy, and whenever you weren’t, it’s like a piece of him breaks. 

“What’s wrong?” He whispers into your hair, trying to pull you even closer to him.

“Everything.” You eventually mumble against his chest, sucking in a deep breath as you try to control your tears. “Fucking everything is wrong.” 

He fucking hates the way that answer makes him feel. His chest feels like it's on fire, and he swears his heart just fucking broke at how sad you sounded, voice muffled by his shirt. He squeezes you to his chest again.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

He wants you to talk about it, to tell him what's wrong so he can make it better. Noah knows it'll probably be damn near impossible to even do that, but god, he'd try absolutely anything to make your tears stop. You take a long moment to respond, trying to control your breathing, before you eventually shake your head against his chest.

"Not right now." 

"Okay.” He mumbles, raising a hand to smooth down your hair. “That's okay, we don't have to."

"Thank you."

You stay like that for a moment, in the middle of your living room. Noah doesn't plan on letting go any time soon, thinking for a split second that he wished he could keep you in his arms forever. If you were there, he'd always know if you were okay. The thought fades before he could think too hard about it when you finally pull away from him, and Noah catches sight of your slight red and blotchy face. He frowns.

He doesn't remember the last time he's ever seen you so sad. So defeated. Whatever was going on really pained you, and he wishes you'd just tell him so he can fix it. Another passing, fleeting thought, but he thinks he'd do just about anything right now to see you smile again. 

"Have you eaten?" He breaks the silence between the two of you, not waiting to hear whatever you were planning on saying.

You blink up at him. "Um... no. Not since this morning. Had some fruit and coffee." 

"I figured." He guides you towards the couch, practically pushing you onto it. You snort when he grabs a throw blanket and dumps it onto you. "Pick something to watch." 

It's not a question, but more of a command, and Noah ignores the way his chest flutters at the small smile you give him. He turned away from you, pushing whatever feeling was brewing inside of him so far down and got his brain to focus. Food. You need food. To be honest, so does he. He’d been so worried about you for the last few hours that he didn’t even think of getting something to eat. 

It takes him a few minutes of rummaging around your kitchen to settle on making something easy - instant ramen. He’s surprised you hadn't eaten it all in the week you’ve been off-grid, but thankful nonetheless. Noah's way too impatient to wait any longer to actually cook something, especially knowing you hadn't eaten anything since this morning. Every so often he looked over his shoulder to watch you, wishing you'd say something, but would find you either staring blankly at the television or your phone.

A bitter taste settles in the back of his throat every time he turns back around to the stove. He hated this, and he fucking hated that he couldn't do a goddamn thing about it.

He brings your bowl to you once he's finished, already making a mental note to clean up the mess he had made while cooking. You blink up at him and reach for it, giving him a quiet, "Thank you."

Noah doesn't verbally say anything, just hums out a response as he ventures back into the kitchen to grab you something to drink. When he comes back he notices you had slowly begun to eat, and he feels his shoulders finally relax. Just knowing you ate something eases him, the tension in his body leaving him completely. You're already reaching out for the glass of water in his hand that he happily hands off to you, giving you a gentle smile.

"Need anything else?"

You shake your head, peering up at him. "No. Just want you to come sit with me." 

That same fluttery feeling beneath his chest returns and he wishes he could ignore it again, but it doesn't go away. No, it stays perched underneath his chest, as if it's decided that it's making a home there and never leaving. He doesn't say anything, just nods at your request before grabbing his own bowl and a Pepsi you had in the fridge before making his way back to you.

You wait until he's settled on the couch to scoot closer to him, legs pressed flushed together. You're already halfway through your ramen and for a split second he forgets that weird feeling in his chest, instead focusing on the intense pride filling him. He was able to get you to eat, he was able to help out in some way. Knowing you were alright for the most part and it was from his doing made him feel good.

The both of you eat in silence as whatever show you decided to put on plays in the background. He’s just now realized it was The Office, and he huffs out a small laugh at something Michael Scott said. Another one of your comfort shows, something easy. 

It isn't until you both are finished with your food and Noah's back in the kitchen cleaning up that you finally speak. He doesn't hear you come up behind him, focused on washing the dishes and making sure everything's clean and good to go, so he can't help but jump when he feels your arms slip around his waist and squeeze.

"Shit." He swears, followed by a breathy chuckle. "You scared me."

You don't say anything to that, just squeeze him harder and he feels you press your face against his back. Then ever so softly, he picks up the faintest, "Thank you," muffled against his back. His face flushes, eyes casting down to the soapy water his hands were currently submerged in. He's glad you can't see the blush on his cheeks, and he fucking hopes you can't hear the way his heart is pounding beneath his chest. Can probably feel it, though, and that makes his face burn even more. 

"For what?" He manages to mumble out, resuming his efforts. Your arms squeeze his waist again.

"For being here." You sound so small. "You don't have to be, but you are, and I can't thank you enough for that."

"You'd do it for me." His response comes easily, voice nonchalant because it's true. He knows you'd do the same for him, and the thought has his stomach flipping every which way. "And have done it for me. It's the least I can do."

You're silent after that but don't part from him, and Noah can't help the smile that spreads across his lips at the feeling of you rubbing your face against him. It makes him feel warm all over, and that damned fluttery feeling in his chest is back yet again. You stay like that until he's finished with the dishes, moving with him as he shuffles to the side to dry them off. You don't pick your head up even when he manages to turn in your arms, finally facing you. 

Noah's arms wrap around you, pulling you closer to him and now you can rub your face against his chest. He laughs softly, pressing his cheek against the top of your head.

"Still don't wanna talk about it?" He knows he's pressing but he can't help it, a part of him still needs to know what's wrong and how he can fix this for you.

You shake your head. "Not yet. Tomorrow, okay? I just... don't wanna think about it tonight."

"Okay." He thinks he can handle that. 

"Thank you." You say again and finally lift your head up from his chest, blinking up at him. There's still a sadness there, roaming around behind your eyes, but not as prevalent as it was earlier. He’s at least done something right. "I'm really fucking lucky to have you, you know that, right?"

The way you're looking up at him is overwhelming, Noah's throat tightening at the softness surrounding your tired eyes. You smile at him and this time it reaches your gaze, not faked but real, and his heart slams against his chest. A thought passes his mind again, something he hasn't thought of in years, and he pushes it back with a hard swallow.

"You're just saying that because you didn't have to do the dishes."

You roll your eyes but that smile never drops from your lips, and Noah thinks he'd like to keep you smiling like that for the rest of his life. 

"Shut up. I'm being serious." You're giggling now, eyes crinkling and he catches a glimpse of the real you for the first time in hours - probably days, weeks even. 

"So am I." Noah yelps when you pinch his side, your laughter growing louder. "Hey!"

"I'm trying to be nice here, asshole. You can at least try, too."

He softens at that, eyes meeting yours. He's well aware his face is on fire right now, cheeks pink.

"You already know I'm lucky to have you. Didn't realize I had to say it."

Even if he doesn't say it often, he is very lucky. So incredibly lucky to have you in his life, for sticking by him and for understanding him. For always being patient with him. Jolly reminds him occasionally how lucky he is to have you, how all of them are lucky to have someone like you in their lives. He doesn't know what the fuck he or anyone did to be so deserving of you, but dammit, he's fucking thankful for it everyday. 

You don't say anything, just continue to beam up at him and Noah can't seem to stop himself, tilting his head down to brush his lips against your forehead. He feels you press further into his chest, if it was even possible, and practically melt in his arms. 

He wishes he could keep you here forever, tucked away in his arms. He thinks there isn't much he wouldn't do to keep you safe, to make sure you were okay, and that thought alone scares him. He'd never admit it, at least not out loud, and he tucks that thought away for another time. Or to possibly be never thought of again, he doesn't know. He doesn't really care.

No, all he cares about right now is that you're okay, at least for now, and that you're nestled against his chest like it's the only place you want to be. 

And that's enough for him. 

[cherrysurf]

Tall blonde and evil! | Katsuki Bakugo x f!reader

chapter 9; cupcake with kids interview

After the bringing in the new year with a good party and a winning trophy life was good. You and bakugou were getting along, the public saw him in a new light, maybe very minor rumors of you having a crush on him but the public will always talk. The nice couple day break you had was amazing, you had finally caught up on sleep and your favorite shows spent more time with your cat, got new clothes for the new year and even got a new year's gift from bakugou. The only bad part to this all was—

You're new found crush on him, you found out a couple days after the ceremony it happened when you couldn’t stop thinking about him and felt empty when you were out doing something with him whether it be work or not, maybe the public was right. But you’d never tell a soul that this was embarrassing as it is the one thing you didn’t want to happen but the thing was you didn’t fall for bakugou because of his looks like every other person did, You fell for him because of the new found person you started seeing in him “the real” him as you call it him being nice and gifting you things didn’t help the emotions either it just added more fuel to the fire.

Today you and him had to head out to an interview for the new youtube channel where celebrities come and bake cupcakes with kids, were the kids ask them questions about their up and coming projects and small things about their life you were quite nervous because you know bakugou can have a bit of a temper when people ask the wrong questions it really didn’t matter who they are—

So as you two arrive on set and you see bakugou get run up on by a bunch of little kids screaming his name and telling him how cool he is, instead of him getting mad at them he’s actually laughing and thanking them. The shock that it gave you was not planned at all but it was so sweet seeing him being polite to all of them and responding to all there questions, when it came time to film it was like a switch had flipped bakugou was more talkative,attentive to make sure none of the kids got hurtr and the cupcakes didn’t get messed up. Maybe a few minor funny arguments with the kids over the dumbest thing but it was nice seeing him being so kind. The kids asked great questions and Bakugou gave them amazing advice to pursue their dreams. This only made your heart well out of the amount of kindness and adoration for him you didn’t care about right now though you were just enjoying the moment seeing him like this, something that was new to you entirely.

bakugou deciding to keep his “nice” streak going invited you out to lunch after the interview he picked out the place since he doesn’t trust your food options after he found out you don’t have proper meals sometimes “you know bakugou those kids seem to really admire you” you tease “i hope so, i try to be a good role model” he says “you’ve been doing good the start of this new year” you continue on “i guess you have been too” he says quietly, saying nice things wasn’t exactly bakugou's forte he struggled with it since he was a kid, but he’s been trying he says it’s because of new years goals but you don’t know if that’s for certain sometimes when you think you knew bakugou he’d turn around and surprise you with something completely brand new so it was hard to keep up but you did, or tried….

“hey i’m going on vacation so, you’ll have a break for a week or two” he adds “cool thanks for letting me know” you say shocked he didn’t say anything before “surprised you’re not asking me for what” he says “well i guess after you asked me to set up a dinner for you and your mom because she was visiting town i refrained asking questions like that again.” you say looking down at your food “smart.” he adds, which you nod at— how did the conversation go from casual to awkward in mere seconds you think to yourself. Lunch ended and he dropped you off. Thing was now that you felt a total shift in your dynamic with him it was weird you couldn’t explain what it was or what it meant it was just something unexplainable right now, just like your feelings.

taglist; @kalulakunundrum @sweetadonisbutbetter @rednicotine @ikissfade @bakugouswh0r3 @allurearia @themultifandomgirl @junehasnotbeenfound @darhinadadragon @kodzubaby @harryzcherry @sahrii @kholethecutie @s4ikooo1 @babylambdietcoke @lover-no-lover61 @sikuthealien @homeless-clown @bookaholicfangirl4life @idexmids

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 47

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Grian's pov*

You run back to your apartment, you do not appreciate having to do this at all. You had a whole thing pre-planned and they ruined it for you!

Creating an outfit is not the hard part, you can do that pretty easily with the snap of a finger but no matter how oblivuous Scar might be he's still definitely going to question it were you to arrive with an outfit that looks professionally made. You don't think you could justify it without being called out...

...So of course you have to also make it look homemade, like it was made with stuff you had around the apartment in half an hour, what an un-cute start to your sidekick career.

You settle on a pink and blue hoodie and a mask, not the best outfit but you did what you had to to make it look legit... On theme but not outlandish enough to be questioned. And if it is questioned... you'll deal with that later when it becomes a problem.

...And with that you are just in time to pick Hotguy up and make it to Las Nevadas before the commotion ends.

"Cuteguy? Is that?"

"Yep, not my ...first choice but it will have to do... So how do I look?"

"You look like a vigilante when, dressed like that"

"That's hardly my fault Hotguy."

"... Yeah, I know"

...

"You didn't answer, how do I look?"

"Great! I mean, not that you usually look not great, you always look good! But it fits you really well- it looks cool I mean hot I mean...good???"

"Are you.. ok?"

"....I'm... I'm just really tired."

... You can relate with that, a lot has happened in the span of a few hours... especially for you.

"Yep"

"... Sooo, are you ready for your debut?"

"Unfortunately"

"Oh C'mon It's going to be... great?"

He can't even manage to sound like he believes it, zero out of ten encouragement here...one out if ten, at least he's trying.

"So...uh...let's go!"

And he just books it! You are having deja-vu to when Flame did this exact same thing when you met him the first time. What's with super powered people and running away randomly?

"I see how it is Hotguy!"

And you spread your wings and fly to him.

As you approach Las Nevadas you hear the sound of sirens, you forgot about those. In hindsight you really should have thought of the attention a group of notorious villains fighting a group of vigilantes in front of a major casino and hotel would garner, oh well.

You look towards Scar, he is... slightly upset, clearly this is bigger then he expected...you wonder just how little the hero association actually knew and how little of that they actually told him. Considering past presedent you don't have very high hopes.

You kinda wish he would just stop being nice, go a bit apeshit even, for once and tear into them...is that how you use the phrase? You heard Martyn say it during the movie marathon and it definitely fits your opinion on the matter...either way, you really wish he would do something like that even though it probably would cause problems it would also be very satisfying to watch...like Legally Blonde! Nice reference, you learned so much today, you are so proud of yourself.

You land down near the chaos, on top of one of the nearby building, Quackity is gone because he must have chosen to be smart about it and left in the confusion... Flame is currently fighting Xonorth, Worm man is dealing with the Doctor, Seraphin with Mot and you are fighting with you...This is going to get confusing real soon.

You hear Hotguy sighs from your left, you turn towards him, his expression is even more unconfortable then it was earlier.

"This isn't..."

"Well, what now Hotguy?"

"I don't... The association sent us after the vigilantes ..."

You can sense the doubt in bis tone, is he having second thoughts.

"But?"

"I don't think we should target them, we should get the villains...?"

"Uh?"

You turn fully to him.

"T-that makes more sense right? Villains...villains are worse then vigilantes so...they should be the one we get??"

"Makes sense to me?"

"So..."

"So we are working with vigilantes? Even though that's the opposite of what the hero association said?"

"..."

He's silent for a few moments, before you can try to spur him on he steps foward.

"I think so... Just this once."

"Sounds good to me, I'm right behind you."

He turns towards you and smiles, then he jumps into the fray and you follow suit immediately after.

It's a bit much controlling three bodies at once but you think you manage it pretty well! Mother Spore dodges a swipe to the left, Poultryman trows an egg at a guy on the right, Cuteguy slashes a tendril in half... All in all you would say you are doing pretty well.

Chaos is your domain and this almost all vs all is refreshing and sweet and invigorating! Still It's different from how you normally view your domain, usually It's more detached, more uninteresting...but being in the middle of it? Extremely confusing and doubly as entertaining. You get lost in the confusion in the best possible way.

Cuteguy jumps on Mot and Mother Spore summon a mushroom wall around herself and Poultryman uses his wings to deck Paroh. You jump from side to side, fly and swipe and dash and at one point you even do a backflip from no reason other then because It sounded fun and you had no reason not do it...

After a while all the fighting does start to meld together as you get more lost in it, to be fair It's been a while since you have been able to do something like this so you end up being very intense about it-

...

And then you hear a strangled cry and everything goes quiet. You turn. All three of you turn towards the noise, the world itself almost wraps in vortex as you hear a scream of someone very familiar.

You turn and you see a tendril, one of Xonorth's... It's passing right trough Scar's heart, you can see his suit darken around the point in which the tendril makes contact with flesh, you look as crimson blood begins to coat the appendage. You turn and for a second it is silence...And then everything stops.

*End of Chapter 9*

[moominmanoneandonly]

Soo some time ago i started writing my first ever fanfic. It's an Transformers au, basically the retelling of how Orion and Megatron meet focused on gladiator lifestyle + all that class diffrence and Cybertron drama with some Megasound love. Haven't touched it in a while but I believe it's not a lost couse yet.

That said english is not my first language and I have Dyslexia so forgive me for all mistakes that I know are there and any type of opinion about the work would be both a great help and big motivation to continue it.

Ships: Megop, Megasound, KOBD, BulkJack, Dratchet, Megastar(but not really)

Warnings: sugestive topics, mentions of prostitution, very bad fights descriptions,

Title in works

Celling lights were flickering once again. Technically they should've been fixed by staff some time ago but no one really cared about better quality of living or honestly anything concerning gladiators in the Pits that didn't involved fighting.

Megatronus wasn't exactly bothered by a such small think like flickering lights, however he did belive that one day they're gonna give him a seizure.. not today trought.

With a loud clank bigger mech get up from his berth trying to mentally prepere for the upcoming cycle. From what he remembered he only had one big fight today, some meanigless browl with a "Kalis Champion" that was supose to "finally break his wining streak."

Megatron seen recordings of the bot fighting before so he could tell that it was just another marketing attempt and not an actual challenge, he will be able to deal with that scrap easily.. of course making sure that the audience is entertained.

The thing that actually bothered him was what's gonna happend right after the fight. The arena workers were going crazy for last few chords, non stop beeping about upcoming gala that was going to happen on this day. He heard them talking about some big names showing up, even something about "Prince of Vos" if gladiator's memory was right.

Technically those events were supose to be good, they gave a chance to taste some better quality energon and assured a free day right after, since all superiors would be to out of it to care about organizing fights.

But then comes the bad part. The "quality time with sponsors" as his superiors liked to call it. Megatron was honestly quite lucky since his frame was pretty big and his overall build not that arousing to the most of cybertonian sociaty, he rarely get more that one client at those types of events. Soundwave for example had it far worse, with his smaller frame and considerably attractive features. Which was exactly why Megatron made sure to send his dear friend to emergency room just last cycle.

It sounds brutal for an outsider but considering that basically none of his matches tended to stay alive it was obliviously a staged gesture. That said it still did quite some damage to his companians body for those he promised himself to get as much high value emergon as he can today to give his poor friend, maybe also steal some spare parts for cassetes if he's lucky.

For some reason Soundwave seemed to get more and more iritated lately anytime Megatron went to those events without him. He even witnessed him sulking at some point which gladiator didn't even know the cassete player was capable off.

Yeah he really needs to repay Soundwave for all that time in recovery room.

- - -

Walking trought the many corridors of Keons arena he tried to plan his cycle accordingly, he still need to train in the morning otherwise Tarn will get his ass and that mech did not had ANY prefrences in terms of size or build, so yeah he is not letting his "not yet violated by Tarn" achivement disapear today. Otherwise till the fight he still had some free time, maybe he could write down some of the poems or get to finish that data-pad that he stole the last time there was a gala.

After the fight he would have to go to Knockout to make sure he "look his best for the party". Those visits really were something. Mainly tiresome but sometimes it was genuinly funny to see the red mech lose his mind over all those ways he tried to make Megatron apealing, he would said stuff like "I swear to Primus if you wear those black heels again I'm going to cut off your pedes!" and stuff like that.

It was quite exhousting lot of the time but i was also suprisingly educating the rest.

Somehow Knockout with his limited medical knowledge and beautifying talent was able to offer a better information sources than even Soundwave himself. The amount of gossip coming out of the race car could fill in an entire archive on it's one. Sure only 10% of it was usefull but with that amount of given informations it was still a lot.

"Maybe he will know something about the politics this time," Megatron trought.

The last few visits at the salon he spend listening to Knockout ranting about some poor blue mech that he chose to be his future conjux altrought the bot is suposely in some comitted relationship.

Talking to the red race car about morality of his action was like trying to teach an insecticon how to read, those Megatron had to sit still for arks while medic was gushing over his moraly questionable crush.

Now he kinda prayed that the bots ended up together becouse otherwise he's probably going to shot himself today and his dream political carrer will end even before it properly started.

" Attention everybody todays main fights will start in 7 arcs, be prepered for the ring at least an arc beforehand!"

A loud screeching voice came out from the old speakers hanging from a nearby wall. "Perfect" trought Megatron "that's enought time for him to finish his workout read the old datapad and perhaps even mentaly preper for the night. Who knows maybe he will be lucky enough to not fit to any of the guest tastes." With a new hope for this cycle Megatron fully concentrated on his training, quietly counting tics until his next break.

....

Did Orion ever mentioned that he doesn't like gladiators fights? Becouse he really doesn't. They are messy, unnecessarly cruel and honestly world would be better without them in clarks modest opinion. That said Orion never actually seen one nor was ever intrested enought to learn about them.. until now.

For once in his life he really regretted his ignorance

Just last chord he find out that his favorite author was no one else but one of the gladiators from the Pit itself. What even more shocking, he didn't just write those amazing works that Orion had laying on his bearth and any free desk in his romm, but he publicaly talked about them in the middle of his fights.

"Megatronus" A name he first assumed was an peculiar aposthrope to the great Prime turned out to be a much more fitting stage name for a fighter. While the reason why the materials were so limited wasn't becouse of high demand but simple couse the works weren't oficially published.

"How could I not realise it earlier? I work in archives for Primus sake!"

Coming back to the present moment.

-NO, I'm not taking you to that gala!- Ratchet answered him once again while trying to read some important medical research.

-But Ratchet, You need to! This is a chance one in a million! - Orion tried to stand his ground while before mentioned research flew stright at his face.

-NO, I said it already! First Wheeljack and now you. I never espected any decency from that maniac, but from you Orion?! What in Primus name made you want to get involved with such a place. Those parties are a complete debouchery! In fact the only reason why I'm attending such a ridiculous event is becouse it was a demand from work. You shouldn't want to participate in such a thing.-Young doctor didn't at all hide his disgust when he was speaking about the gala.

-Ratchet, I'm telling you this is not about that, I do not care about the event i just.. want to see the person that wrote all those amazing poems and articles. You read them too right? These are works of a genius!!

- And how exactly are you even suppose to recognize them? You don't know how they look like. And most importantantly they're a gladiator!! There's little to no chance for them to even be there and if they will I don't think they be allowed to just talk politics with some random guest!- larger mech exclaimed.

Ratchet looked exhousted. He hasn't slept in a while thanks to one lovely bomber, the gala somehow was supose to waight 1/3 of his final grade and his conjunx was out on some unspecified expediction for Primus knows how long.

- You know what? Let it be, I allow you to go with me, on one condition! For the next 3 chords you leave me alone. No questions about reproduction of insectocons. No covering for your crazy ideas. And absolutely no mentions about this evening to anyone! Got it?!

-Thank you Ratchet!! I promise I won't bother you anymore. You're trully amazing.- Orion was ready to hug his friend if it wasn't for his clear discomfort.

-Why do I feel like this conditon won't keep for long- Ratched mumbled feeling defeated while the archivist celebrated his small victory.

-See you at 8. Do NOT be late! My job depends on it.

...

The stadium was full, there wasn't a single sit that wasn't taken by some fancy mech.

It wasn't completely unusual however Megatron had to admit that it never stoped impressing him in all those years he spend fighting. The idea that so many bots gathered to watch him felt sureal, kinda wished they gathered to hear his speches rather that watch him rip someone spark out but well you can't be picky in those type of situations.

"Dear Femms and Mechs we gathered here today to watch an exhilarating battle between two of Cybertron greatest Champions , Megatronus of Kaon and Victory of Kalis. Who of those two will earn the glory and fame and who will end up in pieces? Only time can tell! Remember it's the last chance to make your bets.~"

The crowd was going wild. Megatron in a meatime looked at the stadium trying to pinpoint any important faces to worry about in the near future.

One that for sure stud out was a red and black mech sitting in it's own loge(/lodge) . They had a small frame, cunning eyes that looked down on him in every possible meaning of the word and probably the most punchable face he has ever seen. They looked pathetic on their own but the amount of guards made them unable to ignore. Luckily this type of mechs rarely were a problem in terms of "sponsoring", always wanting to boost their ego by making sure they the strongest in the room they would always leave him alone, maybe talk some scrap about the greatness of slavery but that was it. That said just in case his flying friend, and to that regard anyone else in the audience might get any wrong ideas Megatron decided to give them his most gruesome and repulsive act. After all this is what they came to Keon for.

Finally after few kliks he was able to face his oponent plate to plate on the big arena of the pits.

As expected based on Megatron research his oponent wasn't anything impressive. His body was covered in all kinds of luxurious gadgets and accesories. Clearly a higher cast. Fighting for fame not survival, winning only becouse of better equipment not skills. That type of mech was what Megatron hated the most.

The moment the match started he made sure to immobilize one of his oponent servos by ripping it off with extreme precision. This type of attack was only possible when the opponent had his guard down does gladiator know he won't be able to redo it no matter how much he tried.

Obliviously the act made the shinier mech furious, rampaging stright at Megatron, almost crushing him in the process if it wasn't for his fast reflexes. Before he had a chance to prepere himself for a next move he was shot with a cannon between his servos.

It was good to know his opponent had at least a bit of combat knowledge, knowing where to shot to entertain the crowd.

Megatron quickly moved from his position avoiding another blow and louding his own cannon. With few moves he was once again helm to helm with the other gladiator, throwing a punch right into his face. ...

_____________________

The fight took quite some time. Mainly to satisfy the audience but also couse Megatron really wanted to ensure nobody in the crowd gets any stupid ideas. He made sure to make himself as unapealing as he can, getting his whole body dirty with energon and diffrent oils spilling out of the other mech while also showing of his big frame to remaind people he was a miner not some classy thing.

The rest of ch 1 doesn't exist

Ch. 2 aka Megasound crumbs

Their lodging was small a and cluttered, diffrent spare parts, garbage finds and data pads scaterred all around leaving little to no space to move. From actually functioning furniture there was a big berth, a boxing bag and a barely working fridge. It was really a lucky find.

-Yo Big M is back! We seen you on the bilboard! It was so cool!!-Rumble and Frienzy as always were runing around and cousing mayhem, destroying anything that they touch.

One of them tried to climb on the gladiator while the other were shaking Ravage awake so she can share their excitment.

-Calm down you two! I got you something- he handed them two cubes of energon.

-Just make sure to absorb all that energy somewhere alse, otherwise this room might not survive.- Two bots stopped listening to him the moment they seen the food but luckily they still know what to do, they greedily took the cubes and sprinted outside with the speed that would made profesional racers jealous.

Without twins the room felt much more spacious, walking trought it he also gave a cube each to Ravage and Laserbeak, petting them lightly as he passed them by.

In the berth laid the owner of the room himself, as always calm looking Soundwave. His wounds seemed to repair pretty well trought he clearly still couldn't move an arm. His smaller frame was curled while the blue mech hold one of the datapads.

He was mad. Megatron know the moment he came into the room. Soundwave might not be expressive but they know each other for so long that it didn't matter. When he was mad he would speak only when it's expected of him and his power field would radiate disatisfaction.

-Listen, I understand you're mad. Fair enough, I would be to if I got beaten like that, I know you wanted to go together this time but this is to much of a risk! - Soundwave was a trully special mech. Where Megatron was nothing more than a miner capable of withstanding bad sytuations, Soundwave was a "Carrier", a bot designed specifically to make and take care of sparklings.

Those type of mechs knew nothing about fighting, they shouldn't have to. Yet here they were. Some stupid high rank wanted a Carrier for his unrealistic sparklings expectations, didn't like the results those threw all of them out. Megatron wasn't really sure how Soundwave was able to survive before coming to Kaon, he don't think he wants to. That said the moment he showed up on the arena was something revolutionary.

Soundwave wasn't just a good fighter, he was a strategic genius! When they first meet the gladiator was starstruck. The carrier was the proof that Megatron needed, that the mechs can be more than what they were made for.

They get along well, trought it took some time to earn Soundwave trust. Only after that Megatron could meet the cassetes, one by one and he enjoyed spending time with all of them. It was something surreal. In a place such brutal and cold as Pits, to have a genuine good relations with other mechs.

The ability to actually have deep political conversation without the other mech looking at you with contempt or pity. Soundwave never judged him, but always had an intresting opinion that let him to improve his thesis. He would always inform him on any mistakes and inaccuracies he made and prized him for any small success. The Carrier especially loved his poetry, something Megatron never expected to be able to share. The blue mech would listen to him for hours and look at him as if the words he spoke were some kind of gospel and not some simple poems.

The only problem Soundwave had was that he was a little bit to.. carefull. He would never let Megatron work on his own acount, always making sure he knows everything that's going on. It was never really suffocating in fact Megatron feel some comfort in knowing someone got his back but for some reason it always got worse when it came to Galas.

The carrier would flip out even at the mention of those events. Gladiator fully understood his disgust especially considering his upbringing however what he did't understand was the fact that the blue mech didn't aply his worries to himself. The only worry he showed in those moments was towards Megatron. Illogical considering that the gray mech was handling it just fine, with little amount of customers and a sturdy build compared to the always cornered Carrier. ..

-We were supose to go together.- The monotone voice of his friend somehow still expressed more emotion than the loudest scream. - Megatron was supose to stay out of trouble. Megatron shouldn't have to dirty himself like that. - the gray mech could see his reflection in the visors of the other.

-I'm sorry.-gladiator wondered for a moment. -I know how stupid it was. You're the only person in here capable enought to stand next to me

That's all i got for now. If it doesnt make sense that's couse none of the scenes are in proper order. Please give opinions it means a lot to me.

[1toreyouapart]

Right Through Me

***FANFICTION THAT INVOLVES REAL PEOPLE. DON’T READ IF YOU DON’T LIKE THAT. 18+ MDNI***

Rae arrives on her former best friend’s doorstep, asking only for a place to stay while she gets back on her feet after moving across the country to escape her ex. Nick gladly opens his door to her, quickly pulling her into the fold with his friends and band mates.

Noah is just trying to survive. He wants to make it. Needs it. He has no time for anything other than the band. He’s got a point to prove. Nick’s friend challenges that and upends his entire world. She drives him crazy with her laid back, carefree ways.

Everyone can see the collision coming from a mile away, and nobody can stop it. Much less the two of them. Who will make it out in the end?

CW/TW: domestic violence, miscarriage, alcohol use, swearing, smoking, tobacco/vape use, smut, more to come as story is written.

So You’ll Do It?

“So. You’re joining us next month to help with merch?”

Rae turned to look at Matt. She hadn’t quite said yes to Noah or Folio. The offer was tempting. Not like she had anything else going on. And she could use the money. It wouldn’t be long before she ran out of it, and she didn’t want to rely even more on Folio when that happened. She cast a glance towards the kitchen where she saw Noah snicker before turning back to the stove. The little shit that he was.

“It appears I am. Yes.”

“Good. We could use the help. When does that come off?” He nodded towards her sling.

“About a week.”

She leaned back against the chair, keeping herself focused on the coffee table in front of her. A week she had been here. Most of it spent hanging out with Noah and Folio. Mostly Noah. Folio always had shit going on, and now with Sean out she was anxious. Didn’t matter that she was thousands of miles away. Nearly a two day drive away. So, any time Folio would be out for a bit she was here at Noah’s. It was how she ended up there today.

“Alright. Assuming there’s restrictions once it’s off?” Matt was all business. She kind of appreciated it.

“Yeah. Uh. 25 pound lifting limit and I can’t do certain motions with it for another six weeks after it’s off.”

Matt nodded, humming as he thought. Nervous she glanced back towards the kitchen. Noah was quick at work chopping something, looking up just long enough to give her a little half smile and nod of his head.

“We’ll have some stuff to figure out, but we’ve got nearly a month to figure it out. Welcome to the team.”

“It’s fine, Matt. I’ll help with the load in and load out for her.” Noah called from the kitchen as he dumped whatever he had been chopping into a pan.

“I’m not-“

“A charity case. I know. You tell me every day. However, you are injured. It’s not charity. It’s helping a friend.”

Rae paused. She had actually been about to say something different. Maybe she had told him that too much. Oops.

“I mean, I was going to say I’m not incapable of doing things.”

Noah laughed, and she couldn’t help but smile. He wasn’t so bad. Good God, he worked a lot, though. Almost always on his phone talking with Matt or the record label. And when he wasn’t doing that he was working on stuff for other bands. Always staying busy and productive. She was a little shocked he wasn’t on his phone right then.

“Noah’s got the right thinking, though. Those boxes are heavy. Don’t need you down to one arm again because you’re doing too much.” Matt interjected. “Anyway. I gotta run. Glad we could nail you down. Gotta keep fine tuning mixes.”

“Thanks, Matt. I’ll call you later about how we’re gonna do all this.”

“Later man,” Matt called over his shoulder as he headed out.

Rae sighed, listening as Noah’s music started back up again. Much like her he seemed to never do anything without music playing. Sean had always hated that. And God forbid she use headphones. Then she couldn’t hear him when he was yelling at her.

Anxiety bubbled low in her belly. The hair on the back of her neck stood up, sweat breaking out on her brow. Sean was going to find her. Maybe he already had. And then what would she do? She didn’t know the first thing about defending herself. Fuck. What if he found her here, at Noah’s? He would kill him, and all he was doing was being kind. Oh, fuck.

“Hey, Princess. You good?”

Noah knelt before her, holding her face in his hands. The worry in those deep brown eyes of hers almost broke her. Almost. She was stronger than that. If she could survive Sean she could handle a little concern thrown her way. Shaking her head she forced a smile, forcing the thoughts away.

“I’m fine.” She nodded quickly. “I’m fine.”

“I beg to differ, friend. You were damn near catatonic just now. Where did that pretty little head of yours go?” His thumb stroked her cheek as he spoke, soothing her slightly.

She wanted so badly to blurt it all out. To tell someone what she had been through. Get this giant elephant off her chest. Maybe she should? If Sean found her it was best someone knew. But she couldn’t tell anyone. Not yet. Telling someone meant she was a victim. Meant she was weak.

“I’m fine, Noah. Just thinking about stuff.” She kept her voice soft, her tone reassuring. Something she had learned to do to avoid Sean screaming and yelling. Avoid him throwing things. Him hitting her.

“Why don’t you come in the kitchen with me?” His eyes searched hers, clearly not believing her. “I could use your opinion on this sauce.”

“It smells amazing. You don’t need me in there.” Rae laughed, averting her gaze finally.

“Either you come with me willingly or I carry you in there. Choice is yours, Princess.” He smirked, challenging her.

Goddamn it.

“Noah-“

“Ope. Looks like I’m carrying you in there.”

Noah stood up, leaning back down, a triumphant grin on his face as he scooped her up. Her stomach lurched as he lifted her easily, heart racing. Squealing she wrapped her arms around his neck. She couldn’t help the swirl of butterflies in her belly as he carried her into the kitchen, depositing her on the counter. Nobody had ever carried her like that before. And Noah was doing it with a smile on his face, almost smug.

“Goddamn it. Noah, you can’t just make me do what you want.” Flustered she rubbed her palms on her thighs, willing away the blush creeping up her cheeks.

“You were in your head.” He shrugged, like it was really that simple. “Plus, what girl doesn’t like being swept off her feet?” He winked as he went back to cooking, humming along to the music.

She would have crossed her arms over her chest if she could have. Instead she settled for glaring at him as he pulled out a spoon, dipping it in the sauce he was making. Rae watched as he blew on it, cooling it off. God. He was such a smug little asshole sometimes. Always making her do things when she didn’t want to. Distracting her. Making her find her love of the small things again.

“Taste.” Not a question, an order as he brought the spoon up to her lips.

Rae stared at him, arching her brow. Eventually he would have to figure out that he couldn’t just make her do what he wanted.

“Rae. Open.”

She couldn’t help it. Something in the way he spoke to her, how he looked her in the eyes. Slowly her mouth opened, though she arched a brow in defiance.

Noah stuck the spoon in her mouth and she closed her lips around it, all the while keeping her eyes trained on his. Thyme, basil and garlic danced on her tongue, balancing out the sweetness of the tomato. Her eyes still trained on his she pulled back, swallowing.

Heart rate spiking she finally averted her eyes, looking down at the floor. That was quite possibly the most intimate thing she had ever done. How he had looked her in the eyes, held her gaze as he put the spoon in her mouth. The way his eyes had softened the as she took the spoon in her mouth and swallowed.

“It’s good.” Her voice cracked on the last word, heart beating frantically in her chest. “Noah. You can’t just go carrying girls like that under the guise of getting them out of their head.”

“And why can’t I pick you up like that, Princess?” He got right to the heart of it, like the perceptive little shit he was.

“Might make a girl think you care when you don’t,” she deflected. She was giving him dating tips. That was it.

“Huh. But what if I do care and want to carry you like that?”

“I’m not talking about me, Noah. I’m saying in general. Some girls might get offended by that.” She looked up at him, fighting the urge to kiss him. Five weeks since she had left Sean. She shouldn’t be having these butterflies over anyone, much less someone she had only known a week.

Noah moved in front of her, his hands gripping her thighs. She watched with bated breath as he pushed her thighs apart, stepping between them. Watched as he leaned in close, face hovering maybe an inch from hers, his eyes searching. A dull ache formed between her thighs as he looked at her, and it took everything in her to refrain from clenching her thighs around him.

“See, I kind of like how easy it is to just pick you up. How fucking easy it would be to kiss you right now,” he muttered, fingers tangling in her hair. “And I really like the idea of me personally erasing every memory you have of him.”

Right at the moment his lips touched hers, gentle, asking permission, Folio walked in.

“Goddamn it, Noah! You’re not allowed to fuck my best friend!”

Tags: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @lacy1986 @supersquirrel1996 @mrscevans @ichoosetenderomens @dontwantthemoney @concretejunglefm

[lunaticalove2]

Okay! I actually wrote the first one! I am waiting for ao3 to send me an invitation, and I'm going to caopy the story there. For now, I'm publishing it here (Story under the cut). Enjoy!

Blitzø's POV

After reuniting with Octavia, Stolas stopped being Stolas. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't speak, wouldn't get up, and I often found him gasping for air in the middle of a panic attack. I feel really bad for him, and I'm doing the best I can to help him through this tough time. He didn't even have the strenght to come to work, so now I leave him to sleep on the couch while I'm in the office or on a mission, and when I come back I make something to eat for the three of us. My biggest fear is him doing stupid things to himself while at work. I try to call him when I'm not there with him just to know he's okay. He doesn't speak much, tho. I told him he just has to pick up the phone and if he doesn't feel like saying something he can just make noises like hoots or something like that. This morning was really tough for him. Stolas tried to call Via again, cause he never gave up with that, and he finally got a response. But it wasn't what he was hoping for. The scene was something like this:

*flashback*

Blitzø:"you sure you wanna call her again? You can try tomorrow"

Stolas just nods, and Blitzø sighs softly, he can't say no to him. The phone rings and someone picks up

Stolas:"Via?!"

Octavia:"Stop calling to this number! If I ever want to talk to you again, I'll be the one to call. So stop looking for me. Bye"

And she hangs up. Stolas looks at the phone, too stunned to speak or even move. Blitzø notices and immediately runs by him.

Blitzø:"Hey, breathe. She's just going through a tough time. Just like you"

Stolas stays silent. Everything starts spinning and his vision is blurring with tears. His breath caught in his throath. Blitzø embraces him and Stolas returns the hug, and soon enough he's hyperventilating and crying in the other's shoulder

*end of flashback*

So now I'm esitant to go to work, I'm scared he's going to do something stupid. And these days he's also refusing to take his anti-depressant. I'm so worried, but I also can't leave everything to Loona and M&M. Today we have many clients, and they can't handle it alone. I decide to approach him. "hey Stols" he looks at me "I have to go to work. Are you gonna be fine on your own for a few hours?" he waits a moment and then nods "alright, I trust you. But if something, ANYTHING, happens, don't hesitate to call me" I kiss him on the forehead "see you later, big bird". And I leave the house.

Stolas's POV

I feel so useless. Blitzø just left for work and I didn't even say anything. And this morning Octavia, my sweet Via, rejected me. When I called her she literally said she didn't want to see me nor talk to me. My mind is full of thoughts, I can't think straight. Withouth noticing, I get up and suddenly I'm in the bathroom. I open the drawer and I take a blade. I deserve it, I tell myself. I starts cutting... 1, 2, 3 cuts. It feels good, and I can't stop. At one point, I don't even know how much time passed, I cut too deep and start panicking, only now realizing what I had done. I immediately get up and put my arms under the water. A few cuts stop bleeding too much after a while, but a few of them are still losing too much blood. I feel myslef on the verge of passing out, I'm so lightheaded. I need to call Blitzø. Even if I'm ashamed to do so. I grab my phone and dial his number. I wait for him to pick up doing my best to stay concious. He picks up almost immediately: "Stols? Are you ok? Something happened" I only manage to croack out a few words with the tears that were now running down my cheeks "B-Blitzø. I'm sorry" he sounds worried as he responds "I'm coming now" and he hangs up. I just need to atay concious.

Blitzø's POV

I just received the call from Stolas. I'm driving as fast as I can, maybe I even killed some people that were crossing the road, but I just need to be there for him. I arrive and burst into the door. "STOLAS!!" I yell from the kitchen. But then I hear some crying from the bathroom and I immediately run in there. I can't believe what i'm looking at right now. Stolas, my Stolas, crying in the bathroom with a blade next to him, and his arms are full of blood. I rush to his side and kick the blade out of his reach. I hug him tight, not caring if my clothes are getting wet with his blood. "I-I-I'm so sorry. I-" I shush him and tell him that it's okay as I let go and look at his arms. This is worse that I thought. Some of the cuts are very deep. I notice that he is breathing heavily, and maybe struggling to stay concious. "Stols, looks at me. Try to focus on me and don't pass out". He nods. I help him off the floor and to the sink, where I remove most of the blood. While doing this, I say "Why would you do that? It's dangerous" he is still crying, probably can't bring himself to stop, and I don't blame him for that "I-I don't know. I-I don't know what's gotten into me. I'm so sorry" I look at him and say "It's okay. Don't apologize. You're going through a tough time". When I finish washing away most of the blood, I take him on the bed, disinfect and bandage his cuts. When I'm done, I give him a cup of water, since he's still shaken and he lost much blood. "Wanna talk about it?" I ask. He shakes his head no. "Can you just... Hold me? For a bit. I'm still kinda dizzy" he says. My expressions softens and i immediately embrace him and rub his back comfortingly. After a moment, I decide to speak again: "When you feel like hurting yourself again, call me right away. I'll help you" he just nods and falls asleep 2 minutes later. I sigh as I continue holding him. It makes me really sad thinking that Stolas, the once always smiling and silly prince, just thought that he deserved to self harm. I once though he was annoying, I though he was just a horny bird that was using me as his toy. But I got to know him, and the most important of all, I learned to love him. And I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure he's safe and happy

Fic Ideas I don't feel like writing, and if someone does, tag me.

Some are a bit angsty (especially this first one. Sorry, i have a dark mind. In fact, that's my favourite)

1- Stolas, after seeing Via like we've seen in sinsmas, is in a really bad mental place, worse than before. So he just stops eating, doesn't talk much, has panic attacks often, and self harms. Blitzø knows of his relationship with food and panic attacks, but doesn't know about his self harm. One day, Stolas locks himself in the bathroom and does THAT. He accidently does a cut too deep and he starts loosing too much blood and feels himslef passing out. The only thing he brings himself to do is call out Blitzø's name. And things escalate from there, with Blitzø cleaning his cuts and helping him calm down and cope with it

2- (this one is a bit comic) after the little dance they had on sinsmas, Loona, Millie and Moxxie, since they saw and registered everything, are rubbing it in their faces and jokingly making fun of them about it

3-Just Stolitz cuddling and joking on the sofa, playing with each other

If I have any other, I'll write them down

[cassiefisherdrake]

gods above. I have felt like butt all day from this headache and the dizziness. I want to write or draw or video game or something, but all I have done is lay in bed on my phone or sleep. And I still feel like I could sleep more. I just wanna do something else :(

[lit-in-thy-heart]

been trying out a new writing technique recently and it's called chilling tf out and reminding myself that fic is written for fun.

[itsalwaysdark]

i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

[repurposedmeatlocker]

Like, if I'm going to be honest, it admittedly feels like a lot of people online when talking about this stuff are kind of living in their own echo-chamber, without actually taking into account what the wider population will think or do.

[arionaleilani]

1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!

2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr

3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!

overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!

[spamtoon]

(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)

Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...

Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!

(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)

I know what you are.

Farewell, now!

(She then leaves the way she came from.)

(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)

And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...

(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)

You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?

I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.

(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)

Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way

(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)

Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.

WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.

Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever

[readymades2002]

briefly confided in my mother (mistake i never learn from) about how i am very sad that my ability to have a social life in the world is tied entirely to my sibling, who will be leaving here soon, and how i do not have any other way to get out of the house and how i do not feel i have anything besides work and despite everything that came after, including an apology for saying it, the first thing she said was “well i don’t have anything else either” which is exactly what prevented me from saying anything earlier because i knew that and i know that she is very good at going “it is what it is” about the most miserable of conditions and so would never admit to being unhappy about anything even though there is so much to be unhappy about including having to raise me to begin with, and that she also gets annoyed when others complain or are unhappy about anything because SHE does it and so why can’t everyone do it. and. well. i am pretty nervous about what this means for my life (nonexistent) going forward