#it's a bit of a doozy. You'll See Why

[partyinthemysterymachine]

✨💖the moods of goomt💖✨

hello it's me again comin atcha live from my little corner of hell

just here to promise and solemnly swear that i will continue to be as insufferable and obnoxious about GOOMT as humanly possible at every opportunity, and i can assure you, from the bottom of my heart and hungry soul, It Will Only Get Worse™️

thank u for ur time

bonus judgment:

shut the fuck up Kidd

[genericpuff]

The Mishandling of LO’s S3 Mi(n)season Hiatus - Part 3 1/2

Here we go, Part 3 of my analysis of the current FP episodes - a three-parter episode set leading up to the midseason finale of LO.

Part 1

Part 2

Truth is, I had actually forgotten a lot of the weird (and very stupid) shit that happened in this episode, that I thought Episodes 251 and 252 had already offered up the worst that this three parter set could dish out. Boy, was I wrong, because when I went back to check out Episode 253, I was reminded of a reality that my brain had wiped out in an attempt to protect my withering psyche-

I also forgot just how long this episode is. It's so long that I frankly can't even fit it all into this post, so this is gonna be part 3 1/2.

Anyways, let's just get on with it. This is the final stop on our trip into absolute nonsense.

CAUTION: THIS IS PART 3 OF A 3 PART SERIES IN WHICH I WILL BE SPOILING MUCH OF EPISODES 251-253. THIS WILL BE A LONG POST. BRACE YOURSELF.

Well, it's the midseason finale, and what better way to open it up than with the final title card-

Typo and all. It wouldn't be an LO episode without one. Granted, IIRC this typo has been edited out, but the version of the screenshots I have from it feature it in all its original unedited glory. So enjoy that.

And yes, just like the last two times, the title itself only applies to the final cliffhanger, which is an absolute doozy especially for those who were there to experience it in real time.

This is already a bit of a wild opening compared to the last two episodes, but it's quickly revealed that this is laying the foundation for the prophecy that Psyche gave to Apollo back in Episode 252. In true LO fashion, the story can't actually be linear in any regard, we're always segmented from pieces of information at a time. Loyal fans will call this a "writing style", I call it Rachel just trying to get another 70 cents out of me.

That said, I will say the art here is fairly decent, but I think that just goes to show that LO's one of worst features these days - ironically enough - is its coloring. What began as its strongest feature has now become one of its biggest weaknesses due to the sheer laziness in its rendering and the colors become more and more saturated into the grotesque over time. So at this point, you pretty much have to rob these characters of their colors to make them look decent, and of course at that point it just further highlights Rachel's same-face problems. She definitely tried to make them look distinguishable here, at least, with Hestia and Poseidon being the most unique.

Now, this isn't the first time that we've heard of this herb being referenced - it was stated by Hades that Hera was the one to originally poison Kronos with the herb after gaining his trust - but to see it suddenly just pop up and play a role again out of nowhere already gives me a bad feeling in my stomach. It feels like yet another plot device - especially when presented in this type of format - that Rachel is suddenly using to try and seem "unique" in her writing, much like the strange narration we got back during the "Run For Your Life" sequence. It's just once again LO lacking any specific identity, it's always trying to be a million other things at once.

I will say, much of this in and of itself is panel filler. Why? Because the location of the herb doesn't matter. You'll see what I mean in a moment, but the mentioning of Anthedon plays no role here, it's just yet another obligatory "see, I know how to Google things!" lip service moment from Rachel "self-proclaimed folklorist" Smythe.

Anyways, Eros is perplexed by this but Psyche immediately catches on, knowing right away that Apollo is going for Zeus. And this is where we get yet another one of the dumbest sequences in this comic.

(see what I mean that the location of the herb doesn't matter? Because Apollo already got it and laced it into the cupcake).

Now, first of all, the fact that Eros and Psyche believe Kassandra's prophecy is already hilarious in and of itself, because ... well, because it literally defeats the point of her establishing it as a curse in the previous episode. Unless it only works on mortals? It never stated as such, so we literally just have to go with it and pretend not to notice that.

But most of all, of course LO had to play this off as some joke. Like, "hahaha how awkward! I've already eaten the cupcake!" and he still doesn't seem to really be in shock. Zeus has seen what this herb has done to gods before him, and yet his reaction to this is akin to a dad getting upset that he stepped LEGO's that he asked his kid 20 times to pick up off the floor. The whole "record scratch" style formatting of this followed by Zeus' lack of reaction just really makes me not care about any of this, because clearly the story doesn't care either.

But we don't see who he makes these calls to because the comic, of course, can't spend any longer than 10 panels on a single scene, so we cut to Hades and Persephone.

Again, I don't know what the point was of having Hera relay this information to Persephone for her to relay to Hades, aside from the fact that Rachel needed to act smart with Therapy Speak that didn't even apply to Hera's situation (as we talked about in the last part). They gotta make Persephone the center of everyone's world though, so it's Persephone who's delivering this info and trying to come up with the solution.

Hades, though, wants to focus on his wife's birthday the commemoration of spring.

SIR. THE WOMAN YOU WERE IN AN AFFAIR WITH SINCE BEFORE YOUR WIFE WAS BORN IS CURRENTLY GRAPPLING WITH YOUR FATHER WHO ABUSED HER AND IS NOW HAUNTING HER. THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR FLUFFY ROMANCE TIME. THERE IS A CHILD BEING HELD CAPTIVE IN TARTARUS AND LITERALLY NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE.

Anyways, apparently (for some reason) Hades is the one who has to go meet Demeter out front. Even though Hades has literally NOTHING to do with this ceremony, it's not his domain, but Persephone literally says "yep, that's correct" when he asks if he needs to go out to meet Demeter.

This just feels like such a pointless conversation and I don't get what the point of this exact exchange is. Again, this isn't Hades' domain, so I don't see why he needs to be the one to go meet with Demeter.

But then, of course, to make matters worse, this man has the absolute audacity to pretend like he's never done anything wrong to Demeter. As if she should be obligated to be cool with sharing a bench with this man who literally terrorized her for years and then essentially groomed her daughter.

I hate him so fucking much and I can't believe we're supposed to be rooting for him. He has not undergone ANY of the character development necessary for me to want to care about him.

Anyways, Hades has a seat with Demeter, and the conversation is very brief before Hades says that he has a gift for her. And what is it, exactly?

Oh great, Hades. Sure wish you would have had this consideration hundreds of years ago. I fail to see what good this does for her now because it doesn't change the fact that he still cost her the role of Queen of the Mortal Realm and treated her like shit for hundreds of years. This comes across as such a shallow and empty "apology" because it's barely even a "gift", rather something she was OWED back then that he didn't want to hand over for his own selfish reasons. He still comes out the winner here because he's gotten to spend thousands of years being a rich slave-driving oligarch while Demeter has had to maintain the Mortal Realm on her own even without the glory of having a title.

I especially detest this "twist" because it's less of a twist and Rachel finally accepting the fact she couldn't come up with anything better than what her fans had to come up with for her. If this had been the fact the whole time, we would have seen it established back when we first got those flashbacks showing Hades being a total prick to her over the volcanoes. Instead, Rachel dragged it out for weeks and weeks until finally dumping this "twist" that her fans had been talking about all that time. This is yet another one of those "Rachel used her fanbase to come up with her ideas" moments. I know that that seems a little mean and presumptuous, but the fact of the matter is that the writing in this story is such an absolute mess that you just know Rachel's writing by the seat of her pants and has to rely on her audience's headcanons to actually fill in the gaps of her story. Most of the time when people commend her for the "great storytelling" in LO, what they're referring to are things they came up with entirely on their own because of how easy it is to just make assumptions about LO's storyline. Rachel benefits off the story being as vague as possible because then her fanbase will fill in the gaps with their own assumptions and give her all the credit for an idea they came up with.

By the way, to the "self-proclaimed folklorist" who wrote this, the volcanoes were really just entrances into the Underworld. Hades did not own them. They were owned by Hephaestus. And I would argue that the volcanoes were only seen as "entrances" into the Underworld because, fun fact - if you jump into a volcano, you die!

Hades frames his reasoning as feeling like Demeter was pushing him out of the Mortal Realm, but this makes no sense because none of that is on her. He claims that he felt like an "outsider" but the reality is that he made himself that way. He resigned himself to being King of the Underworld, he ate the pomegranate and made the deal with Erebus, and even he stated that he could still actually leave the Underworld, just not for long periods of time. So he was the only one keeping himself away from the Mortal Realm, not Demeter. We even see that in the VHS tape flashbacks where Hades stumbles onto Demeter's property and she lets him sleep it off in her home. So this whole sob story about how he felt "pushed out" by Demeter is such a bad take from someone who's routinely known to make himself out to be the victim. Because Hades can't have an actual reputation for a reason, no, this is a "retelling" told by someone who got all their Greek myth info off Tumblr circa 2016 and the front page of Google, so Hades has to be the misunderstood uwu sad underdog. Even though he routinely does things that reinforce the reputation he has within the comic, like being a slave driver, abusing lower class nymphs, and grooming teenagers.

Minthe showing up for a split second in the background is the best this comic has been since S2. We stan our girl Minthe, fucking run girl, do what Persephone couldn't do. She's the real hero of this story (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

And honestly, I'm sorry, but Demeter really SHOULDN'T be taking the high ground on this. She has more than enough reason to be upset. For a comic that tries to celebrate feminism and holding abusive men accountable, it sure is willing to make the women - often victims of the men - the real villains who have to "do better". Except for Persephone of course. Persephone is married into the system now, she doesn't have to "do better", she's a "boss babe" for being abusive and petty and undeserving of her status because she's the self-insert Y/N character.

So the ceremony for commencing Spring begins. I gotta say, for the final major scene of the mi(n)season finale, the art is severely underwhelming. You can really tell the difference between S3 and S1 art here, there's barely anything extra done to make this scene even half as impactful as the most basic of scenes from S1.

Like, it's fine, but it still feels so half-baked and rushed to attempt to replicate the kind of art that's been gone from the series for years now. The full sequence itself is actually quite lengthy, with a lot of nymph hands just moving around and playing instruments, but it's about as bland as any other panel, so it makes the sequence itself feel dragged out and boring.

This is about as pretty as the sequence gets and it's still not even as good as the original Dread Queen transformation. There's barely any rendering in the skin, and they couldn't even be bothered to make the hands look normal. It's like it's trying so hard to be "original LO" but is fundamentally missing the point of what made the original LO so captivating.

But oh noooo, looks like Persephone did a bad!

Are they actually gonna give her some kind of flaw? Are we gonna FINALLY gonna find out what she traded to Erebus?

No. We're just gonna make her the cause of winter.

Spaghettios.

And that's where I'm leaving this review for now because, as mentioned in the beginning, this episode is a LOT longer than I remember it being. There's still a whole ass segment with Apollo that we need to cover and I don't want to leave it out but I also don't want to do it entirely in text format and I've hit that pesky image limit. So I'll be posting that second part as soon as I can!

That said, I really can't stand this "subversion" by making Persephone the reason for winter.

First of all, because this is a common problem in a lot of H x P "retellings", as many of them fundamentally miss the point of why Persephone is the "Goddess of Spring".

Persephone was not born the "Goddess of Spring". She was born Kore (Κόρη), a maiden born from Demeter. It wasn't until after she was taken by Hades that Demeter, in her grief, took away the harvest and created winter. It was the return of Persephone every six months that brought about the spring, hence, she earned the name, "Goddess of Spring". What these retellings COMPLETELY MISUNDERSTAND is that the gods aren't 'born' with their titles, they're granted these titles by the mortals who comprehend them and write of them as harbingers of their respective elements, stories, and messages. Zeus wasn't "born" the God of the Sky and Heavens, he was granted that title after he overthrew Kronos and took the Heavens for himself. Hades wasn't "born" the God of the Underworld and the Dead, he was granted that title after he became the ruler of the domain of death.

Where these retellings really fuck up is constantly trying to "subvert" the H x P myth in an attempt to romanticize it, thus undoing the point of why Persephone is called "The Goddess of Spring". A Touch of Darkness also made this mistake by putting a "twist" on Persephone's character by having her start out as someone who couldn't make things grow. But if she sucks at making things grow, then why is she still referred to as The Goddess of Spring? In LO, Hades is referred to as "Grandpa Winter" and the seasons already seem to exist as we saw in this episode through the ceremony, so why has she been called "The Goddess of Spring" this whole time?

But I also can't stand this "subversion" because it fundamentally misunderstands the very myth it's trying to "retell". By giving Persephone the "curse" of creating winter, it further robs Demeter of her own agency in this story, more than it already has. It wasn't enough to make Demeter a helicopter mom, it wasn't enough to drive an actual rift between her and her daughter, they had to take away Demeter's entire role in the story and the creation of the seasons and give it to Persephone.

And this is, surprisingly enough, NOT the first time the comic has done this. There are many traits associated with different gods that have been given to Persephone and Hades. The volcanoes belong to Hades rather than Hephaestus, Persephone is "more beautiful than Aphrodite", Thanatos' and Psyche's butterfly symbolism is given to both Hades and Persephone, Aphrodite's symbolism of roses is given to Persephone, the list goes on. Every single plotline has to involve Persephone as the hero, and every single attribute that's commonly associated with other gods has to be granted to H x P in some way to make them better and more interesting than every other cast member in the comic, and yet they still come across as vapid and boring protagonists with nothing to show for themselves.

So to give the ONE thing from the source material that made LO what it is, it comes across as so unbearably cruel.

But then again, we should have seen this coming. After all, Rachel does not cite this as a retelling of The Hymn to Demeter. She simply refers to it as its more unofficial name: The Taking of Persephone.

Look, I get it, the story is meant to be told from Persephone's POV (or at least through the lens of her being the main character) so I can understand why Rachel may have chosen to reword this to make it more clear. But it's really depressing that she went to such an extent with making it about Persephone that she had to rob one of the most integral character of her moment and retribution. Especially when one of the only books in her cited "research" that's primarily about Persephone is, shocked, The Hymn to Demeter, which is listed at the very bottom of every "research" list you can find in LO's history.

LO should have just stayed as self-indulgent fluff. This isn't "subversion", this isn't a "twist", it's just yet another item on the list of making Persephone the most Important One of all. Even when it attempts to be a 'flaw', it fails tremendously by acting as yet another aspect of her being a Mary Sue, because her 'flaw' has come at the cost of another character's story, identity, and strengths. What was originally a tale of grief, retribution, and standing up against a patriarchal system, has now been warped into a consequence of a muddied plot that doesn't have anywhere left to go. For a story that claims to be "feminist", it has ironically missed the original point of its source material entirely, and completely robbed itself of the feminine strength it could have had if it hadn't tried to be "subversive".

I don't really have anything much more to say than that. I could leave it here for good, but we do still have that extra segment to talk about that covers the actual final cliffhanger in this episode, so... we'll see you on the other side.

[dayseedrawz2]

Okokok, Its time to stop mentally preparing... (for Pomni AND me in this case cuz I sorta regret doing this-) this part is probably gonna be longer than the first

[also tagging @sm-baby again. I'm sorry if I'm infiltrating you notifications but if I tagged you in the first it makes sense to tag you in the rest of the parts]

Here is part one of the Fic:

Okay now here we go again...

PART 2 OF:

☆Settings for two☆

Pomni, not having much to do while waiting for Caine and the others, just sat on the floor on the stage. Letting herself stare off into space, with the thought of escape still circling her head.

Caine was gone for a bit longer than she thought he'd be. She thought he would just snap his fingers and bring the cast out against their will. Ya know, like the oblivous AI that he is. Or at least he appeard to be to her... Then she heard the distant bustling and chatting of the others getting closer:

"Do we really have to do this for her??"

"I guess so. But I don't quite mind."

"Yeah, whatever. I just think it's stupid that he's involving us..."

"The only thing stupid about it is that he's involving you, Jax."

"Oh, settle down, guys! I think it's really sweet of him!"

"Shut up, Dollface!"

"C-can you guys stop arguing..?"

"Oh! Of course! Sorry, Gangle."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever..."

"Let's just get the day over with..."

Pomni got up as they all lined up side by side in the center of the room. But She was still a bit confused...

"What on earth were they talking about..?"

The thought lingerd with her, but it didn't invade her mind as much as the inevitable effect of her plan. But her train of thought again was interrupted by the voice of Caine bursting into their muffled conversations:

"Good morning again, my superstars!"

He swooped around the corner, approaching from the direction of the hallway.

"I hope you all are excited for today's adventure! This one is sure to be a doozy!"

He began to explain the rules of the adventure. "Something Something, the grounds, blah blah blah, Something about the Carnival? Or perhaps it was the Lake?" Not like she would know. She wasn't paying much attention. Again, all that was on her mind was the idea of leaving. When finally she tuned back in to Caine as he wrapped up his speach:

"Alright everyone! I hope you all enjoy the adventure! Stay safe and have fun!"

*Snap!*

And POOF! Caine and the others was teleported to who knows where.

Execpt, for Pomni?

She started to panic a bit:

"Im still here!? Should've known not to get my hopes up... Maybe he set that door there as a trap like the others..."

Well, at least she was alone...

*Poof!*

"Pomni!? What're you still doing here!?"

"Oh God..."

He snapped in attempt to fix what he thought was some sort of bug on his end.

Nothing happened.

Another snap.

Nothing.

He began to grow visibly frustrated, continually snapping as he spoke:

"M-my apologies, dear! There seems to be something wrong with-"

He turned to see the blue door slightly open. Pomni grew worried:

"Oh god... Did he see me in there?? Is he gonna do something to me??"

To her surprise, upon connecting the dots, he simply laughed it off:

"Haha! It appears someone got into the old settings room!"

"..."

"I told Bubble to quit messing with code without permission! I'll be giving him a stern talking to later..."

Though still tense, she let out a releived sigh:

"Sorry again, my dear! I guess this means you'll have to sit out of today's adventure!"

"I-it's fine, Caine. If that's all, I'll just head back to my room now-"

"W-wait!"

His response was a bit more panicked than usual:

"I-I'm afraid you can not go to your room at this time..."

This, of course, alarmed her:

"Wh- I- why not..?"

"You should be in the adventure right now, so even if you tried, the place would glitch like crazy!"

"Oh... well, uh- now what?"

"I... I'm not sure. This hasn't really happened before..."

"Mhmm..."

"Yup..."

It was a bit off-putting seeing Caine this quiet. Normally, he's always bugging her and the others with his antics. Not that she would prefer if he did, just- it didn't feel right that he wasn't.

Caine to must have realized just how akward it felt. He attempted to continue the conversation:

"Ya know, lately a lot of things have happened here that haven't happened before since you got here! It's pretty funny now that I think about it!"

"R-really? Like what..?"

"Well, if I knew, I would tell you! Haha!"

She wasn't quite sure what he was implying. "Was it some sorta joke? A reference?"

"S-sorry, what? I don't quite get it..."

"Well, as a not human being, I have been trying to learn as much as I can from you humans! I want to make sure that this place is as normal and comfortable as it can be!"

As he continued, he seemed more down to earth than he usually was:

"I tried to ask everyone for information about the human world, but either they say they don't remember or they just don't answer me at all."

This answer from Caine caught Pomni very off guard. She didn't expect him to open up to something like this. Especially to her.

"Gee, well- I-"

"But the feedback you gave me this morning, It made me realize. Perhaps I have been asking the wrong questions?"

She wasn't sure how to answer. Never has she been good at giving good feedback, but still she decided to give her best- "advice" You could say.

"You mean you should ask more about their personal issues with the place? Well- it might be different for everyone, but it might give you at least a few of the answers you're looking for? I-"

She was cut off by Caine rapidly shaking her hand:

"Why thank you again, my dear, for your feedback! Hopefully, this will improve everyone's stay!"

The rapid hand-shaking continued:

"Y-you're welcome?"

The shaking finally stopped, making Pomni almost fall forward:

"Well then, I suppose we should wait for the others' return."

"Yeah... I guess we'll be here for a while, heh."

He checked his WackyWatchTM:

"My! It's already almost over! They will be here any minute now!"

"Wait, really?"

"If my WackyWatchTM is right! It's as if it only started not even 5 minutes ago! Ha! That's one more odd thing that's happened since you've been here! Care to explain that one?"

Pomni had to think about that one for a moment. She hadn't had this sort of experience for a while:

"Well, if i remember, humans usually are unaware of time when doing something fun or being around someone that they enjoy being around."

This answer seemed to peak his interest even more:

"I am surprised that you are even willing to share this information with me! Is there anything else?"

As their conversation continued, Pomni thought:

"Huh... maybe this guy really does have good intentions..."

And there! Cut! End part! I can't write anymore-

Stay tuned for the third and final part!

(It is 1 am for me rn and I started at like 10 or 11 oh my goodness)

[genderqueerdykes]

Different person but i just wanna add (if another confirmation would help), no yea it's absolutely fucking horrific how they've been treating you I was (and still am, pcos that makes it uber hard to lose weight gang), upper 200s/low 300s weight wise when i had mine, and they IMMEDIATELY referred me to a surgeon who was prepared and familiar with working on fat people no fuss, and this is With medicaid, i'm genuinely shocked you didn't get the same, i thought it would be standard practice (though why i expect even that from the american healthcare system is a mystery jeez... they love to disappoint .) The mishandling is fucking abhorrent, especially with the newer information that it wasn't even the SURGEON talking to you, i spoke with the assistant (or something? im not sure of her title it's been a few years since mine, but it was during the beginning of the pandemic) for the first half of my consult, but even though my surgeon was one of the busier ones in the hospital he STILL made the time to meet me and discuss things himself at that consult. And they were genuinely some of the nicer people i've had to deal with when it came to my weight, i can't believe they tried to pass it off as your diet when it's so known that genetics is a huge factor in it and your diet isn't even remotely bad..... (it was bigtime genetics with mine as well actually, my Ma had hers out for gallstones and i want to say one of her sisters did as well before i did) It's Exceedingly Fucked Up how they're treating you, especially with the condition you're in, you should be getting expedited treatment no fuss, it's genuinely fucked they're making you deal with this. Wishing you the best with getting this handled quickly, you deserve much better!!!!!!!!!!!! In the meanwhile, also wishing you luck with the surgery itself when it's scheduled!! Good news that i can offer is that in my experience it's not the worst recovery-wise, the main difficulty i had was sitting up after laying and getting out of bed/walking and such (abdominal surgery is a bittova doozy... and one helluva thing to make you realize how much your stomach muscles really do FDCFVGB), but sitting up wasn't too bad pretty much the whole way through at least, if you have any friends who could come over and chill with you for the first few days having someone around is a Massive help; and either way i'd see about moving stuff you think you'll need/want into the vicinity of where you'll be recovering once you're closer to the surgery itself, if you get any energy to spare (apologies if any of this bit is a lot also, i tend to lean into advice if someone's dealing with something i've gone through before^^) No but yea, i really do wish you the best of luck with all of this, both getting stuff scheduled and the surgery itself when it comes; i hope things go as smoothly as they can from here, and that your pain will ease soon!!

thank you so much, i really appreciate this message!

literally, the outpouring of people saying "WHAT THE FUCK???" to how i've been treated wrt my gallbladder has been making it easier. i felt so fucking defeated in that appointment, you have no idea, i felt like this was just standard protocol and i was an idiot for getting my hopes up thinking that getting the surgery would be "easy". literally after that appointment i just felt fucking dead inside so i REALLY REALLY appreciate people letting me know this is NOT OKAY

i'm really glad they took you seriously, PCOS gang. i'm sorry you deal with that too like at least she let up when i said i have PCOS and losing weight isn't something i can just Choose to do. i've literally gone through periods of my life where i starved and had next to no food at all and i only ever got down to... 260 lbs. while starving.

holy shit, thank you for the info that makes me feel a lot better about how i've been treated... i'm SO glad you actually got to talk to a surgeon about it, you know... the person who knows what they're talking about!! i didn't get to speak to a surgeon... at all. the people who spoke to me were a medical student in training, and a.... physician's assistant. like what the actual fuck, neither of you know what a surgeon wants why are you giving me inaccurate information?

she did fortunately refer me to bariatric surgeons to get the appointment scheduled, however, the problem is i'm going to have to do ANOTHER consult with them before i can get my gallbladder removed, which is scary because who knows how long that's going to take. my consult was last friday, and it's thursday, and i have not received a call from the bariatric surgeons. i had to call their clinic this morning, while shaking and sniffling with a fever to ask them for the number for bariatrics so i could call them myself to see what the fuck is going on with this referral

all while i can't eat. i got sick yesterday after eating white rice. rice. made me sick. two days before that i got sick from some bread. like i can't eat anything at all at this point i'm relying on liquids, here. miso soup, gatorade and water is alright short term but i kinda can't keep. not eating. like this forever. honestly the way that PA was speaking to me, it made me feel like she straight up wanted me to die. like she saw my issues as not worth her time because i'm a fat person and i should just roll over and die because i'm not thin and thus don't "deserve" medical care. like at this point it feels like she WANTS me to die

I'm sure the bariatric surgeons are great people but i'm not exactly filled with confidence when it comes to whether or not i'll actually be taken care of. when i got my colon/endoscopy, the doctor was "running behind" and the nurses "couldn't figure out why". when i went into the operating room, he was quite literally playing on his phone, scrolling facebook. all of his patients were behind because he was on his phone. i had to re-schedule my transportation through my insurance to pick me up an entire hour late because he was goofing off on his phone. unreal. if you want a job where you can goof off on your phone, medicine isn't it. find an office job, you asshole

actually, thanks a ton for the recovery information, because i don't think i can trust that hospital to even get that right for me. :') i've never gotten surgery before so i wasn't quite sure what to prepare for! relocating items is a smart idea, fortunately my bedroom is small so that shouldn't be too much of an issue! i have my neighbors' contact info so i might be able to see if they can lend a hand whenever i need help quickly and might not be able to get someone else to come over. that's a smart idea, thank you!

do you think my wheelchair would help alleviate some of those issues with walking in the beginning? i keep my wheelchair next to my bed so i should be able to crawl into there whenever i need to walk around the house. either way, thank you so much for the super kind message, and for advice on what the recovery process is like! that was what i was most curious about, as i have no experience with surgery as of now

thanks again for the kind message, the support and the reassurance... i've been so worn down over this it isn't funny. i've been so exhausted both mentally, but also physically, because my pain and symptoms have been spiking lately. i've been getting pain that travels around to my back. i can't sit upright or walk without aggravating it. how is this not serious? how is a matter of 10 - 15 lbs more important than someone who literally can't keep down their food? unreal

i'm relying on over the counter anti-emetics and bloating medications just to survive. some days i HAVE to take a dramamine or else i'm gonna throw up. i don't have an option, it's to the point where i almost just take it reflexively daily

i hope you have a great day and thanks for all the help! your message really helped, thanks again

[mysteryanimator]

Watch it here :D

(heads up for any odd grammar, Grammarly cannot save me from my dyslexia)

I was originally not going to do a breakdown of this because a lot of my breakdowns and thought processes were getting really repetitive (also i was getting embarrassed by them HAHSDASHBDS). BUT boy oh boy this time around I can actually go "wait i can yap without being repetitive here, maybe, idk, we never know until i write it out."

STORYBOARD/ANIMATIC:

It was really fun to adapt AquliaofArkham's fic into a visual format! This is the specific section I had set out to visualize!

(Yes I only did thumbs for that section and freeballed the rest whoops, y'all do not follow by example, i didn't think i was getting this far tbh)

When translating this from written to visual, there were some key points I wanted down:

They are really really close to each other and the barrier between each other is SO thin, but the air is still super thick

visual eye breathing room compressed???

Is having stillness a way to convey that ???

We are following Mizrak's POV, ergo focus on what Mizrak is focusing on, where is his mind going

hold shots for longer???

limited movement due to Mizrak's hyperfocus???

Make shots intentionally heavily detailed ???

Zoom into details???

As much as I am passionate about storyboards, I do tend to get ahead of myself and end up locking myself into lots of close ups HAHAH. I like having each shot matter to me a lottttt so i end up reverting to reusing a lot of super common shot archetypes due to their attached meanings (I'd love to attend/watch some workshops on this, but uni ;-; i'll be free soon dwdw).

By the way, you will notice the animation is longer then the timed storyboard/animatic. This is because I retimed to placeholder dialogue (which y'all will NOT HEAR THATS EMBARRASSING, i dont need ppl to hear me yell clatter lol). Fun fact I originally had it in the first storyboard to help me with timing and then removed it half way through? Not sure why I did that, but regardless I came back around and retimed it so that the length of each shot feels believable enough to hold dialogue and has enough time to be visually digested by you guys.

ANIMATION:

This was a doozy, not because I found the animation hard, this time I actually was satisfied-ish with most of the end result and started implementing different approaches to the animation from all kinds of media; which was my issue LOL. My understanding of animation changed midway through. I can super distinctly see two different approaches, probably because I slipped into that naturally while having animated shows/movies while doing this and I can probably pin point to you which shots was influenced by what show.

First all dialogue and walking forward: rewatched TLOVM b4 season 3 dropped, which by this point is already out, (uh also Nocturne. again HAHAH)

WHICH, you'll see here, two different set ups were taken LOL (also oof you're seeing my setup). Personally, I like keeping my animation folders to the utmost minimum (so like the right! Olrox's folder is a whole character, separate moving bits like lips or even earrings will be in that one folder) because scrolling through can get a tad overwhelming and daunting, BUT, Olrox walking forward had so many small moving pieces with different timings that multiple animation folders was the best way to handle itttttt.

I feel like I only really care abt this BUT FILE MANAGEMENT IS IMPORTANT AAA. You should've seen my file management this time last year, actually horrific, but I'm so glad I figured out how to be cleaner, in turn speeding up my process. (which honestly was just thanks to being thrown into a studio environment and going "Oh my god so that's what I should be doing" and picking up things I noticed from other animators, which genuinely my learning comes from picking me up and throwing me into the deep end)

Secondly, Olrox arm and a scrapped walking scene: I was watching Prince of Egypt (literally that whole week, planning to rewatch again lmao), Sinbad, Road to El Dorado, and then work from Modernday James, Toniko Pantoja, Edward Kurchevsky

Fun fact, the very first walking was intended to be animated, and i redid it about four times before scrapping it completely. The first three iterations i didn't save because they were sooo clunky . It made me realize I gotta revisit my principles again I'm rusty (and i do LOLOLOL). I scrapped the anim because it did not flow into the next shot nicely but, It was good practice regardless HAHA

While mentally I feel like none of the shots match each other, they still do have some cohesion to one another

COMPOSITING:

The new thing, finally manually did the edge shadows in CSP HAHAH.

I will say this too, I got really nervous atp about the overall "quality" of the anim + the backgrounds. I was getting super hung up over it because I was alr worried abt the animation due to the safer choices I made (but also, I don't have to reinvent the wheel LMAO). SO, when I got to comping it was like "oh actually its actually fine LOL".

i stayed pretty sketchy with these since i was getting way too worried about it and wanted this to stay as a fun side project, also these are without comping- they become way more purple with compositing LOL

I feel like here too I ended up doing less then what I normally do, which I think mighttt be on part to finding more efficient ways to go about compositing things together (and faster too).

Also, I definitely got pushed into trying to lower the layer amount when I saw a tweet about layer efficiency/layer stacks and them mentioning applying Mattes and CC Composite. Actually a godsend, I didn't realize I could combine my effects like that to lower the amount.

Also, I swear no amount of precomping can save me from this. There's probably a better way to go abt this um LOL, everyone is getting a peep at my file management.

Also, I'm realizing I could've done a tad more with the actual composition itself, like the placement and movement of Olrox in the scene where he's walking forward. For now I have to leave it, because also, the intent for this one was to have fun rather then making every anim an exercise or else I'd burn out so fast LOL

Side tangent but, I've been digging my heels into the animation school club workshops on youtube rn due to having a moment with the scrapped Olrox side walk. Which holy shit, things have clicked for me, so I'm going to try and do more rough exercises b4 i do another finished anim again. It turned a light bulb in my head LMAO, and it pushed me to do the recent maria anim and mizrak and olrox kiss which has a massively greater understanding of timing and confidence LMAO

Ok now this is To Love a God finished! Another animation done :DDDDDD I'm super happy to be adapting a fanwork, it's always really fun and super exciting to bring other people's stuff to life, which what made this more enjoyable then anything else.

Will I do another polished anim before next year/before s2? Time will tell but for now i rest and speed to finish another semester of uni (there is a high chance for another anim because of a joke tweet i did not expect to get traction lol)

Thank youuu if you stayed this far, this was really lengthy and i think i went into different unrelated tangents, so i hope you enjoyed me pulling you into different directions HAHAHA

p.s i uploaded this to youtube and theres an age restriction BECAUSE OF THE FEET. Not because Olrox tells Mizrak he would fuck him, no it's his FEET. I've tried to appeal it but cant do much LOLOLOL

[dawnthefox24]

Zenyatta scary dog privilege

*Zenyatta is talking to Hanzo and Cassidy, in the kitchen as he brews them some tea*

Zenyatta:*watches the water boil * You know I think I have the scary dog privileged

Hanzo:*grabs two mugs for him and Cole to drink only to pause when he heard what Zen said*  I-I’m sorry scary what?

Zenyatta: Scary dog privileges...

Cole: Okay since when did you get dogs, Zen. Cause I an’t ever seen you with yer dogs, no offense.

Zenyatta:*sighs softly* Well I didn’t get any dogs and knowing Winston he wouldn't share his peanut butter with them.

Cole: So why did you say you have scar dog privileges?

Zenyatta: Um... How do I put this in the nicest way possible....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Zenyatta on a mission with Genji at a casino too see any signs of Talon activiety*

Zenyatta: no need to worry Genji I’ll be fine trust me, this isn't my first mission

Genji: you sure master?

Zenyatta: I'm sure.

Genji: alright just be careful, stay close to me okay.

Zenyatta : *bumps into someone* my student I'll be fin-

Zenyatta: oh I'm so sorry I wasnt pay-

Omnicphobe: Watch it you stupid robot, you guys are so incompetent. None of you should exist *throws his drink at Zenyatta*

*Before Zen could react Genji slams the guy on the floor face first hard as he pulls his blade out placing it on their throat*

Genji: APOLOGISE! APOLOGISE TO HIM BEFORE I MUTE YOU SO APOLOGISE!

Omnicphobe:*whimpering in pain as well as fear looking at Zenyatta with tears filling their eyes* I-I'm sorry.. I'm sorry...i'm sorry for throwing my d-drink at you...

Zenyatta:*sighs and placed a arm on genji shoulder * Genji breathe and let the man go before we get kicked out...

Genji:*put his sword awayand takes in a deep breathe before looking at the omnicphobe * Leave now...

*the omnicphobe gets up and runs off quickly terrifed of Genji*

Zenyatta: *sighs softly * Genji I would have handle that but that was a bit to extreme

Genji: I'm sorry master please don't be mad...

Zenyatta:*sighs softly* We'll talk later but I need to clean up

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*flashback ends*

Cole and Hanzo:*with their jaws dropped in total shock*

Hanzo: is that why Genji was suspended from going on missions with you?!

Cole: Because of a omnicphobe he lost it because they said a crude comment and splashed a drink on ya?

Zenyatta:* nods as he pours them there cup of tea* indeed, than today mission was a doozy

Hanzo: is that why yesterday mission was confusing coming from Angela?

Zenyatta: Yes and you'll be surprised by this too....honestly its quiet embrassing...

Cole: how embarrassing?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Zen on a mission with 76, Angela and Tracer only to be in the mist of battle with Talon*

Zenyatta : *is healing Tracer with Angela only to be grabbed quickly by Doomfist being pinned hard against a wall *

Angela: Zenyatta!!

Tracer: *winces in pain*L-Let him go

Akande: oh hush you, and you Jack I would advise you lower your pulse rifle...

76:*lowers it * Let him go...

Akande: Oh I don't think-

*Soon Ramattra punches Akande across the face as he grabs Zenyatta holding him close in his nemesis form*

Ramattra: *holding Zenyatta protectively *Zenyatta is off limits Akande, if I see anyone of your posies hurt him...I'll kill you...all of you if I see a single scratch on him

Tracer: bloody hell...Zenyatta are you alright....

Zenyatta: *covering his face a bit embarrassed * ...I'm alright and brother please put me down..

Ramattra: *sets Zenyatta down a bit *If they hurt you Zenyatta, I'll kill themm...

Tracer,76,and Angela:*both nodding as the look at Doomfist out cold body*

Tracer:*whispering to Angela*...is he breathing Angela?...

Angela: *looks at akande and nods slowly * yes

Zenyatta: *claps his hands a bit* Alright than mission complete can we head home now?!

76: Yes...Thank you for saving Zenyatta...

Ramattra: Like I said if you hurt him I'll kill you...

Angela: alright lets head home!

~~~~~~~~~

Cole: *sips his tea calmly* Those are some brutal guard dogs ya got Zen

Zenyatta: honestly it's sweet of them really but now im getting worried if both Genji and my brother meet.

Hanzo: *drinks his tea feeling bad for Zen * that's gonna be a nightmare

Zenyatta: Even worse if something happened to me if I got hurt.

Cole and Hanzo: they'll kill someone...

Zenyatta:*sighs as he nods* ...They'll kill someone....

[sobredunia]

tell me about Fez, please, im looking through your blog and like, i am intrigued

please click read more for an unskippable cutscene

ALRIGHT SO.

FEZ is an indie game created by a (now hated on the internet) guy called Phil Fish. If you wanna find out why he's hated do your own research this isn't about him it's about his videogame

It came out on april 13th of 2012 (yes. homestuck day. i know), and it sold over a million copies by the end of 2013. I've tried finding how many copies have been sold up to this day in total but didn't find anything, but the general gist is that it was pretty much an instant hit, and people absolutely loved it, working together to solve its intricate puzzles even to this day. Yes, there are mysteries hidden in here that an entire community of dedicated fans still hasn't found the solution to 11 years later

(tiny warning here, do not play this game if you have motion sickness or are severely affected by rapidly changing images, there are whole areas that are a doozy to play through. Please stay safe!)

Gameplay

Fez has a singular core mechanic that remains unchanging throughout the entire course of the game, and that is the ability to change perspectives

this is what the game looks like, a 2d pixelated landscape with tons of beautiful colors

but.

this is what the game also looks like

that's right, baby, this shit's actually in 3d

you use this change of perspective nonstop throughout your adventure, to cross gaps like demonstrated in the gif, or to simply access places you couldn't in that current perspective. There are other tiny mechanics that get added, like invisible platforms, crates and buttons, bombs, timed platforms that disappear... they add a bit of flavor, but the main mechanic is always there

There's also a really big emphasis on puzzles towards the latter half of the game, but I'll get more into it later

Story motivations

Your name is Gomez, you are a tiny little guy living in a cozy 2d village that you have never ever left. One day, an old man named Geezer sends you a letter asking you to climb to the top of the village. There, a giant fucking cube appears outta nowhere, teleports you to a satanic ritual, then to the vaccum of space, speaks to you in a strange language you cannot understand, and gives you a free hat. Oh and also he explodes or something

After you're given the hat, the fez, you discover that the world is actually in 3d, and you can now change perspectives. You unlock the core mechanic

After that, you wake up in your room with the fez still on your head, and a being in 4d called Dot is sent from who knows where to tell you that the cube that gave you the hat is called Hexahedron, is actually technically kinda god, and you fucking killed him. Now, your mission is to pick up its 64 pieces and reconstruct him

You see all those tiny golden cubes? You have to collect 8 of them to make a bigger cube, and you need to collect 32 of those

Now hold on, I hear you ask, didn't you just say that you need to collect 64 pieces? Why are you changing your mind and saying 32?

Because, my dear friend, there is another type of cube that you have to also collect

These are called anticubes. Y'know, "a negative for every positive" type of stuff. You have to also collect 32 of those

The main difference between an anticube and a normal cube is that they aren't broken into 8 pieces, when you find one it'll be whole. You can also sometimes encounter full golden cubes btw, but they're rarer than its normal tiny pieces that you collect. Another main difference is that these cubes are much, much harder to find, and I'll go into detail in the next section

There's also this one hub area, with four doors that will only open once you have enough cubes (anticubes also count)

Once you open the door with 16 cubes, you'll enter this one town filled with people that aren't quite like you. In there there's yet another door that will open when you get 32 cubes, so get to gathering motherfucker, you got a long way ahead of you

Puzzles (anticube edition)

When you collect that first anti cube, there is no going back. The floodgates have opened and you are now too deep in. You know too much. You must see this to the very end, for better and especially for the worse

The puzzles in fez are actually surprisingly varied when it comes to difficulty and accessibility. Most likely, the first anticube you'll find will be in this one room. You'll scan the qr code and do the instructions it says, and then the horror of your new life will begin

But this is just the tip of the iceberg, because BOY OH BOY are anticubes convoluted to find in some cases

Sometimes you'll get them by solving relatively easy puzzles, like this one

others will require a bit more thinking, like this one

and then we have the hardest ones where you'll have to learn how to read words, numbers, and commands in the FEZ language

and these arent even the hardest bullshit puzzles the game will pull at you. it gets worse. it gets so much worse

Game ending

Surprisingly enough, you can get a game ending with just 32 cubes. In fact, it is literally impossible to get the 64 cube ending without the 32 cube one unless you have outside help, you know the answer to all puzzles, or you somehow get extremely lucky in a very specific number of rooms

Behind the 32 cube door there's a giant gate that, and I shit you not, teleports you into fucking space

Aliens are canon in the fez lore and they look like squids

Once you reach the top of the alien temple fucking thing, you enter an eye(?) and there you meet the shell of god, the Hexahedron. Since you haven't gathered all 64 cubes, it fails to reconstruct, and it breaks down. This part is pretty dangerous for people with epilepsy, by the way, as there's rapidly changing black and white colors. The 64 cube ending is a bit easier in the eyes, but yeah, just a heads up

In the 32 cube ending, you get sent back home, and you see how the town gets more and more pixelated. Then you see a weird sequence that's like those videos of people really zooming in into things and you see the particles and microscopic stuff?? idk. and then you see Gomez playing the drums :D

After that, you wake up in your room, still with your Fez, and the same sequence at the start of the game plays out. You go to the top of the village, Geezer summons a giant fucking cube, you meet god, but instead of getting another fez, you get cool glasses, that allow you to finally solve a batch of puzzles you couldn't see before and you can finally gather the last anticubes

In the 64 cube ending, the Hexahedron reforms correctly, and instead of zooming in, it zooms out. You see that your world is a tiny cube next to many tiny cubes, and then those tiny cubes form a 4d entity that looks just like Dot, and then those many Dots next to eachother zoom out until they're nothing but static, and then it looks like a tv is turned off, and then the credits roll

They're both very strange endings, and definitely not what a lot of players expected or wanted, but what can you do

Puzzles (hell edition)

NOW.

You thought that was the end?

You thought you could simply walk away scot free?

You thought that this game had no more last "fuck you"s up in its arse?

You thought fucking wrong

Because you know that something's not right

Because you're in too deep

You've played this far. You've scrolled this far.

You have to see how this ends

You have to tie up the last loose ends

You see this? This is the game's map. It actually has a really clever design! Not only are the icons for the areas cubes, but you can also change perspectives like how you do in-game! Pretty cool, right? There are also some small indicators you can see on the bottom left. They mark if you've left any cubes, bits, treasures, or locked doors. They also mark any secrets you might have left! And they turn golden once you've found everything there is in that room, including secrets

If you were normal (let's imagine that for a bit, okay?) and you got the 64 cube ending, that's it, right? You've gathered every cube, you've gathered every map (you need them to get all cubes), you've gotten every key and opened every locked door, that should be it, right? You have everything the game asked you to have, so the whole map should be golden, right?

...right?

No! :D you fucking fool, you poor summer child

In fact, there are three rooms left. Three rooms left with a secret symbol next to them, and one other special room

First, we'll talk about the special room

Once you gather 64 cubes, you'll be able to open a door hidden on an unsuspecting island and access this one special room

kinda weird, right? It has a tileset that appears nowhere else in the game, same with its background. There's also a strange transparent heart over it? Strange

Now, the three ungolden rooms

First, the observatory, the room with the easiest puzzle, at least in comparison with the other two

Second, you have whatever the fuck this is. In order to solve this one, you HAVE to know the Fez language, no ifs or buts. Not only that, but there's a high chance that you were reading the language the wrong way, so in order to have the remote chance to solve this mf you'll have to git gud and realise the error of your ways

And last, but definitely not least

The most infamous room in the entire game aside from maybe the heart room previously shown

This cunt

These three are the hardest challenges the game has to offer, no exaggeration. And also, the first two rooms can be solved at any point of your adventure, but for the third one you HAVE to have completed the 32 cube ending, no workarounds

Now, how to solve them?

If you go to the observatory at night, you'll notice two red blinking stars in the corner. They're speaking in binary code, with one being 1 and the other being 0. Then, that binary has to be translated into a buncha diff languages to be decoded, and once you're done you'll be left with a set of commands that you'll enter in the observatory to get a special red cube that not even Dot, the motherfucker in 4 dimensions that knows things beyond our comprehension, knows what it is

For the second room in fez language, you'll need to answer a question with the cubes provided to you. It's a weird thing where you have to mix this word with the name of the company who made the game, I don't know man. Once you've answered you'll get the second red cube

And now, the third room

Commonly denominated the black monolith room

Why is there no black monolith?

Because you have to make it appear

First, you have to get this burnt map

Behind it, there's a string of code that translates into commands

You need to get into the room, and use the special ability given to you in the 32 cube ending: first perspective mode

You'll have to stand in the tiny square inside this infinity symbol thing that doesn't have a line in it (basically, not the one the screenshot is looking at lol), and then you'll have to do the commands

Once you do it, the black monolith will appear

Okay, you did it

You put the code correctly

Now what?

This isn't a collectable. This isn't a red cube. This doesn't do anything. What is this? How do I solve this puzzle

You wanna know the answer?

Who fucking knows

No one knows the answer to this. No one knows how to solve this. The community solved this a week after launch by bruteforcing it. I shit you not they made a bot that spewed random fez inputs and people just tried them until they got the correct solution

No one knows how it's meant to be solved. To this day, people still go on the r/fez subreddit to give their theories on what the intended solution was meant to be

They have tried everything

The position of the candles, the boiler room, some other random ass rooms that look remotely similar to the black monolith room, a random shower room, it somehow being on a book in the game that's just filled with haikus??, some bullshittery mobius strip mental gymnastics, the other half of the code being in an abandoned airport in Arizona...

...whatever the fuck this is...

by far the most known theory was the release date theory

but that got disproven by one of the devs a few years ago

but anyways, we've already gone through insanity for long enough, it's time to be normal now

Once you've gathered all of the red pieces, they will appear in the heart room

that's it

we're done

.

..

...

....almost

there's a secret code

one that was actually intended to be datamined for once lmao

If you look at certain artifacts in the menu and you rotate them a certain way in a certain order, the heart will vanish and the screen will turn white

you'll be sent back to the menu, and if you load that save file and go back into the temple...

there will be nothing waiting for you there

that, my friend, is the true end of Fez

You wanted to know too much, you wanted to learn everything, to the point of wanting to tear open a creation that took blood, sweat, tears, and five years to complete. And now there is nothing. You ignored the game's boundaries of only wanting to let you know this much, and now the game is empty, the love is gone, and there is nothing left for you here

You can leave now, I hope you're satisfied

[lulu-balu]

Booooy howdy here's a bit of a doozy. Where do I begin!

Well I chose my old username back in mid 2017 when I was a wee lass writing silly fics on fanfiction.net. I chose it because it was Italian for "You are beautiful", because 1) I'm half Italian and 2) I thought it was sweet and wholesome.

To start: as I said above, I'm half Italian. That's because I'm Italian-American, that side of the family *has* been for quite a few generations now and they absolutely fit ALL the stereotypes you could think of when you hear "Italian-American". Stupidly proud of their heritage, and usage of silly botched up slang all while knowing little to no actual Italian. I know some stuff mainly through osmosis but yea. I definitely can't speak the language and I'll admit I simply do not have the brain power to memorize another language. I tried it with Spanish in high school already and it didn't go very well LOL

So yeah. I was one of "those" people as a teen. Idk why, it's stupid and I'm simply not like that anymore! So that's the biggest reason, but it's also not the only reason.

Number two is simplicity. Seeing that it's a common Italian phrase it's no surprise that "Sei Bellissima" straight up is taken across different sites, leading me to have to make some funky additions so that I can make accounts on there. This can lead to some confusion. Not to mention those additions can make the username long as hell in general and a pain to type out. So I went for a shorter name that will still be easier to remember, even in the cases where additions are necessary.

And uhh regarding the "Sweet and wholesome" thing- I still try to be positive where I can, but I've been through the wringer a *lot* since then and I simply do not have as much happy energy as I did back then. Believe me, it's sad and I really had no idea what was coming for me at the time but- being that overtly positive all the time definitely drained me a lot more than necessary. I guess that's another reason for a change; it all just didn't fit who I am anymore.

So yeah, to put it all simply: it doesn't represent the kind of person I perceive myself to be today, so I decided it was time for a change. As for my decision-making process behind that change?

Lulubalu is pronounced "loo-loo-buh-loo" and is derived from the word "hullabaloo", which is a word used to refer to a commotion or fuss over something. I kinda think it fits how I react to things I really enjoy and hyperfixate on; I just go absolutely nuts. Mostly not publicly but uh. Yeah I'm very enthusiastic sdfjkhsk

The "Lulu" part is just because I like that name and the way it sounds when spoken. It isn't even my real name I just like it a lot lol. Speaking of. When you wanna speak to me now, you can use "Lulu" to address me

ANYWAY. I'm still me; I've certainly changed a lot over the years and the username change is a nice way to reflect that, I think. All of the stuff I've posted over the years is still here so if you've got anything bookmarked you'll want to update that (I will be changing my art tag to [#lulu's doodles] and will be taking the free time I have to update all the posts skdjfhskj). Buuuut otherwise I think that's it. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading and enjoying the stuff I've put out over the years <3

[swaggypsyduck]

Yall I’m new to stanning football. I came here straight from the world cup and I’m not gonna lie this shit is beating my ass. Is it always in the mud like this? I chose psg because that seems like the best option because they got messi, neymar, and mbappe who are literally the three players that caught my attention during the tournament! Yall I really thought this was going to be fun. 😭 What’s going on? Why does everything feel so confused and chaotic (not in a good energetic way, more like headless chicken running kind of way) but also weirdly sluggish and slow? Yall I don’t understandddddddd. It’s like the team has four different personalities all at once? It’s so… unpleasing to watch yall it was not like this during the world cup. 😭

I hope they get better. But I’ve been reading the psg girlies on tumble and … it seems like nobody has hope it’s going to get better? I mean surely it will? Right? I feel like everybody has given up on the season and I’m scared. 😭 I hope Kylian feels better soon. I was thinking maybe we can do trades with other teams but apparently business hours is already closed and will next open in the summer? The fuck? But we dont got anyone? And almost everyone is dropping like flies? What happens if the big guy on the fishnet gets a flue or just gets sick in general? We just dont get anyone?

Also the coach looks like he should be in a martin scorsese film with robert de niro and joe pesci. The fuck is he doing on the pitch tho?

We need to bounce back QUICK! We need positive vibes! Energy! We need God to be honest but I feel like I’ve spent all my credit with him praying for Messi to win the world cup. My account with God is all maxed out. Yall. I cant sleep until I figure this shit out. Somebody do something!

Do we have a secret weapon? Like what is the plan here? What is plan b? Oh my goddddd. This parasocial relationship is with these players really do beating my ass. I’m out here worried for them!

hi anon! wow this is a doozy. ill try to break down my response but idk if it'll do ur rant justice LOL

1) Welcome newcomer! as u may have seen in the world cup, if there's one thing someone should tell u before u enter the football world is that ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is guaranteed. you could have the strongest defense, the best goalie, gamemaster midfielders, and strikers w amazing finishes and you'll still lose to an underdog team who has better teamwork and chemistry. or just one player decides "uk what? imma earn my paycheck today" and demolishes the other team.

2) psg is a joke. ill tell u right now. lose any and all expectations. we clown on them bc even if they played shit before but at least they were winning. now they're playing shit and LOSING! and thats the problem we have. the 4 personalities at once thing is absolutely correct. you have 3 well seasoned forwards who are used to being the "it" strikers of their team. on top of that we have NO MIDFIELD AND A SHIT MANAGER WHO CANT GET A TACTIC OUT OF HIS ASS EVEN IF I SHOVED IT IN THERE MYSELF!!!... sorry i lost it a bit there lol.

3) as yes transfer window closing. see that's also Galtier and that fuckin toad incharge of players who DIDN'T MAKE A TRANSFER UNTIL LAST MINUTE AND LET CHELSEA FUCK THEM OVER. and sorry to burst ur bubble but there's a chance key players might leave/retire by that summer so lets hope they promise them to bring in an actual proper midfield by then.

4) So another thing to consider if one of the reasons u chose psg was for messi... i wouldnt. This isn't his club. this is his retirement club. ramos too actually. they've finished their careers. they actually have absolutely nothing to lose LOL. messi's heart will always be in barcelona. as in he literally knows nothing else except barça

5) injuries suck. but they are a part of the game. if u play any contact sport u know the feeling. even non-contcact sports there r still big injuries. everyone is hoping kylian gets better soon. he needs all the rest he can get 🤲🏼.

6) Our secret weapon? BHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! prayers i guess. nah im kidding. but there really isn't any secret weapon unless u count galtier deciding to pick up a tactic book? or leaving and getting replaced by pep or zidane. to use ur weapon analogy we have a dented shield that still works (defense) and a bunch of bullets (forwards) but no gun (midfield) to load them.

7) ik u were joking about that last part but the parasocial relationship?? do ur absolute best to minimize it. like as someone who's been watching the beautiful game since i was a kid its okay and fun to joke about it and worry/send love to ur faves but u have to remember: those are grown ass men getting payed hundreds of millions to kick a ball around while those in their cities that pay to watch them are in heating/housing crisis. so when we eat the rich ill be cutting them up w tears uk?

hope this helped LOL.

[fluffychubbydragon]

How did u come up with lucida? What was ur process?

This is going to be a doozie of a story. Where do I even begin....

I read a lot of Fanfiction, specifically reader inserts, so I figured that I should create an OC to replace putting my name into said stories. In the Undertale Au fanfictions in particular, there are a few where the reader is a skeleton, so I figured I would create a Skeleton OC.

I figured that I would give her kinda chubby cheeks, hence why her skull is more round like Sans', but I wanted her design to be feminine, so I knew that I was going to make her bones kinda small compared to the Skeleton brothers. Yet I also wanted her to be taller than Sans since I like that dynamic: tall girl dating short guy. So canonically, she stands 5"8' which I would imagine being between Papyrus and Sans. And I happen to be a big girl myself, so I have more experience with that than with being short. And you don't see a lot of tall girls pining or otherwise dating short guys.

Also, I knew from the get go her gender and a couple of other things, such as who she would be attracted to and a bit of personality, but other things I had to research. I didn't want to use someone else's design or copy and paste someone else's OC on accident....

Which basically ended up happening anyways. Which made and still makes me upset that I spent months researching in order for it NOT to happen and it just happened anyway.

I had even researched names of Fonts just like the Skeleton Brothers and named her based off what I thought her handwriting would look like. I had drawn her and had a solid idea on what colors I was going to use for her design then named her based off of her design and personality.

LUCIDA HANDWRITING was the one I found.

I liked that it was an actual name and how the font actually was written....

But that was taken too...

If you follow the Lucida tag, you'll end up on someone else's OC that looks and is named just like mine... it still makes me feel like I can't do anything original. And that I'll never be good enough to stand with people like Joku or skumhuu or any one who has created a whole ass Alternate Universe for this fandom where I can't even make a simple character original....

I'm sorry..

[newhologram]

February 2023 Hologram Tarot

You survived the first month of 2023! It was a doozy for a lot of us. Felt like so much longer, didn't it?

The Page of Wands is eager af to get going. She wants to learn and do everything right now, but she hasn't quite mastered the focus or discipline it takes. That's okay, because this is a time to experiment. Follow what feels right and you'll land on something that hooks you in.

After a period of retrogrades keeping our feet stuck in the tar, suddenly it feels like everything is available all at once. Look at all of the gifts in the cups before her. Dreaming big is good, but sometimes we can float away a little bit and this makes it hard to choose which cup suits us best. Let your feet touch the ground before you decide on a cup.

You work hard at your skills, even when it takes a lot of patience. It's going to pay off, so keep at it, one brush-stroke at a time.

When we recognize a lot of shame or sense of self triggers as reflections, it can change the way we process them in ourselves and others. When someone else talks shit about you for things that do no harm, it's usually them expressing their own unhealed insecurities. Seeing you live your life in a way they can't shakes them, and they project that anger onto you. Notice your own triggers too. No need to judge them, but take time to follow the clues to the source.

It's time to get really clear about what it is we want. Not just the why's. Feel it under your fingertips. Hear it. What is the perfume of the life you desire? If doubt arises, affirm: I'm worthy of my dreams.

[procyongaaay]

I remember growing up my mom told me "one day you'll understand" meaning that when I had kids I'd understand how wrong abortion was.

My son was wanted. He was wanted so much when I told my spouse I was pregnant with him, I said "4th times the charm?" And cried into their shoulder because after repeated miscarriages I didn't know how much more I could take. He was our rainbow baby. But he grew, pregnancy was hard as hell (and absolutely not for the faint of heart) but we got through it together. Then, a few weeks before Christmas, there was some complications durring birth and after 10.5 hours of labour had to have an emergency C section. He had had his cord wrapped around his neck twice, and had his hand tangled in it in a way that ment he never would have been able to be born naturally. It took them 4 minutes to revive him once they got him out. And that was only the beginning of our troubles. Apparently there had been a transfer of blood between us, and we have different blood types. So some of his blood was in my blood stream, but I'm an adult, and it didn't do much more than a tinge of yellow in the corners of my eyes after a few days. But he was so little, not even 7lbs, and the bit of my blood that got into his system ravaged him. He had dangerously high bilirubin levels that just kept rising. He was in an incubator with intense phototherapy, both a light above and a biliblanket below, for 2 weeks. We had to flush feed him so his little body could fight through. He was too weak to eat or cry at first, and just made these tiny mewling noises that broke my heart to hear. Every time we'd take him out of the incubator to feed, change, or have a little skin to skin time the machine would complain the temperature dropped too low with a *beep beep boop*. But my little guy is a fighter and we pulled through. I fought to get my kid here and keep him here. And without medical intervention neither of us would have made it.

Just saying "beep beep boop" can almost bring me to tears almost a year later.

And then just a few months later in April, I had a sudden stabbing pain that came with an impending sense of doom. Something was wrong and I felt like I was going to die. I was in so much pain I threw up, which hadn't even happened durring labour. We rushed to the ER. I had a male dr look me over and tell me "it's probably just your period, they can be a little crazy after birth, and if this is your first cycle after giving birth it can be a little wild with the hormones, just go home and sleep it off." And while it's true that first cycle can be a doozie, I knew immediately that's not what was happening.

I asked for a second opinion and he said ok but it'll be a while before someone else can see you we're very busy. So for 10 hours I sat in the hallway of the ER, the pain getting worse and worse, starting to feel faint, and the sense of impending doom getting worse and worse till I was on the verge of a panic attack.

Finally there was a shift change at 5 in the morning, and a lady doctor came to see me. She was like "hmmm no this doesn't seem like a period to me, not even a first one post partum. Something else is going on." So she sent off some blood tests, but before she left to wait for those to come back she was like "hey is it ok if I do a bed side ultrasound? I just have a feeling that I need to check."

I remember watching her eyes go wide as she said "oh. That's a lot of blood. Oh no." And call for a nurse to immediately call to wake one of the surgeons and prep an OR. She said "hey it's gonna take them about half an hour to get ready, in the meanwhile we need to get a better look at you, we're gonna take you down to ultrasound to get better pictures." I called my spouse, who was at home with our then 5 month old son to tell them I had a lot of internal bleeding and they didn't know why yet. They said they'd get my mom to watch our son then come join me asap. I ended up passing out after they got the ultrasound images because I was too weak to stand at that point. They wheeled me into the red zone and that's around when my spouse arrived.

We were together when the dr told us that I had apparently become pregnant again, but due to scarring and adhesions from the C section, it was an ectopic pregnancy, and scarring was extensive enough if I ever became pregnant again, it would be ectopic again. My left fallopian tube had ruptured, and I was bleeding out internally. They rushed me in to surgery, removed both fallopian tubes and the embryo that had almost killed me, and patched me up, sent me home. The bruising along my sides and belly were truely impressive, but I only have a couple of tiny scars to show for it now, one of which is hidden in my belly button.

But did you know that that last surgery was an abortion? One without which I would not have survived. My son would be without his mama right now if I didn't have an abortion. My agressively anti-abortion mother refuses to call it one. Because to her there are no exceptions, and because I was going to die without it so it didn't count. But it does. It was an abortion. It being medically necessary doesn't change what it was.

Honestly I've always been pro choice. But especially having gone through pregnancy and birth, and having had an abortion myself, I don't know that its possible to be more pro choice now. I would never make someone go through all that, it'd be so incredibly inhumane. I'd rather have to string up someone and beat them than to have to force them to go through with a pregnancy. And mine wasn't even all that complex compared to some people. My body has permanently changed. My brain has changed. My sense of smell and taste has changed. The process of getting my son earthside has fundamentally altered who I am as a person. He was very much wanted and planned for but has still altered the very foundations of who I am as a person. And I can't imagine someone forcing me to do all that against my will. It's just horribly unspeakably evil snd wrong.

I love being a mama. My son is my world. His first birthday is coming up in just a couple weeks, he's big and strong and happy and healthy and amazing and I love him more than life itself. But I chose this. I wanted this. I wanted him. It's all been worth it because this was our plan all along, to start a family, to grow together. All the hardships and challenges, all the changes, even the more negative ones, have been worth it all because of that.

But for someone who wasn't wanting to be pregnant? Who didn't want to start a family? Or just someone like me for whom an abortion was medically necessary? Especially for women for who that pregnancy was wanted and then needed a medically necessary abortion? Well I have a kid now, and I understand more than ever that denying an abortion to someone who needs one is one of the most horrible things I could imagine. I will be pro choice till the day that I die and I will fight for people to get appropriate medical care. Wether that be at the polls, calling my reps, or calling out family members at Thanksgiving dinner. Mama bear don't give a shit.

giving birth sucks tbh. not only do you and the baby you’re birthing almost die, usually you shit yourself and often you tear your taint. then you have to push an organ out of your body (placenta) and if even a little of that remains in your body, you can hemorrhage to death or develop an infection that essentially rots your body from the inside out. even if you had a relatively “easy birth”, you bleed for weeks on end. even after that stops, your body and brain is changed for the rest of your life, the pregnancy leeched minerals from your bones, that can cause osteoporosis later. minor urinary incontinence is not uncommon, brain scans of people who gave birth show permanent changes in their brain, you’re never quite the same.

I say all of this not to say giving birth is disgusting but it is a harrowing and visceral experience. society downplays how fucking awful it is and makes it out to be a ~magical~ experience but it isn’t a magical transformative experience for everyone. it can be an extremely traumatic experience for someone who wanted to carry a pregnancy to term, much more so for someone who did not want to be pregnant in the first place or someone who knows their baby won’t survive the birth. anyway, abortion is a right. pregnancy and birth aren’t just inconvenient, it’s fucking awful.

[destinyschaosdreamer]

In regards to SB: Infraction So, next chapter will be up shortly. I just wanted to pop in here with a few fairly important notes to clear some things up since some of this will be probably wildly confusing esp after going over the next couple chapters. I like doing big reveals but it's gonna take a while to get to all of them so here's so basics to note. There's also quite a bit of hint dropping throughout. This is a wild ride of emotions. There's a lot of humor but also drama, horror, and suspense. I don't plan to make it nearly as dark or violent as some of my other works but there's a least one chapter in the next part that gets really really deep and violent but can be skipped if needed. You'll probably guess what it is if you haven't already.

This series will be a set of 3 in the following order:

1) First/current is like a set-up teaser mini movie setting up the series. This series is told from mostly Cassie's POV, who as you can tell is WILDLY confused atm. So you get to share the ride with her. That means a lot of things will probably make no sense including characters not introduced or even revealed. (Like what exactly is MXES? How and why are there ghosts running around the closed down pizza plex?) Some will be mentioned and never appear. This will probably be fairly short chapter wise. In fact depending on what they entail and how much detail I want to go into, it's only a few more to go. Don't worry, we're getting into some suspense and action in the next one or two.

2) This is the heart of my story. It's likely going to the prequel told as a story. It's already mapped out just needs written. This is from GGY Era up until sometime before RUIN. It's detailed and includes a lot, including the all staff meeting (which is going to be a doozy). Spoiler: that event is what kicks off my version of SB. This is kinda like a main movie. And most (if not all) questions revealed.

3) Followup after the main story is told will be like a tv series. No set plans but revolves around dealing with the fallout of the main "movie" and Cassie's involvement, especially with her dad.

There are a lot of characters involved but all have reasons and most won't appear or be revealed until the second part. As of now I have no plans for romantic relationships. Mostly just really good close friends. That is subject to change and feel free to share your thoughts. As of now I kinda view them more as acting like siblings with poor Freddy Daddy and Momma Roxy trying their best to manage their large rowdy brood. (And keep them from killing each other.)

Cassie's dad will play a decent role (if you couldn't already tell) and is named Jeremiah Fitzgerald. He is the "Bonnie bully" and Mike's best childhood friend. He is also "Jeremy" of all FNAF incidents except MCI. His brother is the jeremy from MCI, and long story short, Mike isn't the only one jumping place to place with pseudonyms to bring the place down. He's not dead (at least up until SB) or crazy old for....reasons.

Glitchtrap and Burntrap are both the Mimic. He uses Afton's corpse as physical body and has his memories/thoughts/etc, but is NOT him. Will Afton show up? Well, we'll see ^_^ The Mimic endo was sealed away before RUIN. So like 2 parts of a whole. There are also different branches/minions of the Mimic that are used in AI such as Helpy, video games/characters and more. Each of them have their own controlled programs and endos. This will be more relevant in the third work. They also aren't the only big bads though as I'm going on a twist with evil corporations idea. But it all ties in together I swear.

Gregory is a menace. This isn't the the cutesy innocent little victim story. He's a victim but under different circumstances and he and Mike basically HATE each other. Maybe Cassidy also. He's also very protective of ppl he cares about (esp Cassie, Vanessa, and Freddy) and has jealousy/possessiveness issues and sees outsiders as threats. He's not evil or villian by heart but he's not an innocent sweet kid either. He was basically an influenced/possessed "apprentice" while Vanessa was the controlled assistant very aware of everything going on unless she was "locked away". Dr Rabbit/Rab is an entire personality while Vanny was basically a costume. But Gregory himself is an absolute blast to write!

Anyways feel free to ask any questions. ^_^ And here's a few snippets from our favorite crew:

Mike: This is all because of that damn little heathen I'm telling you.

Roxy: Yes. That menace.

Freddy: Michael, please watch your language. I assure you, Gregory is merely trying to-

Gregory: Yeah? Well I'm not the one who had to go fu-

Freddy: GREGORY!

Gregory: -shrugs- It's true. Nessa, go tell your stupid boyfriend how he messed up this time.

Nessa:  Ugh, he's not my boyfriend. Why do you keep saying that?

Gregory: Because you're the one he always talks to.

Mike: Exactly. Cause you're just a little whiny brat no one has time or patience to deal with.

Gregory: Interloper. No one ever wanted you here.

Mike: Little shithead.

Nessa: MICHAEL!

Cassidy: Can I just say I could really use my sword back?

Nessa/Mike/Gregory/MXES: NO!

Cassidy: -pouts- No one ever lets me have any fun anymore....

Cassie: I love these guys.

[luveline]

smutty sunday thing- what ab james accidentally making reader cry bc it feels so good (like good tears) but he doesn’t realise and he gets rlly concerned

SMUT 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI (cw p in v, tears, praise, r is overwhelmed but having a good time) ♡ fem!reader

You rub your face into the damp pillow underneath and try to breathe properly. James, his weight heavy above you, pauses to help you move your arms so you're resting on your elbows. 

"Is that better?" he asks. 

Afraid to use your voice and give away your current predicament, you nod voraciously, and are pleased as punch when he starts to move again. 

You've never tried this position before and it's a real doozy. James presses down on you heavily, smushing you into the bedsheets with his legs between yours and encouraging your thighs that little bit wider as he thrusts in. The curve of his cock rubs up against something sweet for the hundredth time and you sniffle aloud, overwhelmed by pleasure. 

Deep-seated, James stills. He works his hand under your cheek and turns your face gently to the side so you can see him in one eye. He doesn't look very happy. 

He looks horrified. 

"What's wrong?" he asks, a short fall from incredulous. "Sweetheart?" 

He pulls out and you whine under your breath, panting as you say, "Don't stop, James." 

"You're crying your eyes out." 

You blink to discourage another round of tears, looking up at his figure blearily. His handsome features warped by worry, James takes the brunt of his weight off of your back and kneels beside you, leaning down so his face is level with yours. 

"Was I hurting you?" he asks quietly, bringing his big hand to cup your face. 

You move reluctantly out of position and onto your side, hips and chest aching and your cunt sorely missing his attention. 

"It felt really good," you say. 

He wipes at your tearstained face. "Then why are you crying? You can be honest with me." 

"I am being honest," you sniff. You sound almost bratty, and you're kind of feeling it. Going from some of the best pleasure of your life to nothing so quickly is irritating, but you quickly tamp it down. It's not James' fault, he's just checking in. "I'm serious, Jamie, it's amazing. I didn't mean to start crying, it's just…" you turn your face into his hand as much as you can, his palm eager to receive you. "It's really nice to feel you pushing in on me." 

He smiles. There's relief, bemusement, and a certain amorous twist to his words as he says, "You're fucking precious." He kisses your cheek, hands moving to rub the back of your neck. He pulls away just enough for you to see his eyes, his breath hot on your skin. "You like feeling all my weight on top, huh? Pinning you down, is that it?" 

You hum. "Mh-hmm." 

He presses a firm kiss to your lips. "I'm okay to do it again?" he asks. 

"Yes, please." 

He pushes your back so your chest is flat to the mattress again and eases himself on top. You can hear the wet sound of his hand tugging his cock, shivering when he finally pushes back into your heat. He makes a thoughtful sound, grinding down into you, the scratch of his slick-wet curls against your cunt setting you aflame. You whimper and lift your hips to force your hand between your legs, fingers searching for your swollen clit. 

James pulls back and rocks in hard, his thighs slapping your thighs, the pleasure a dull ache that shoots up your abdomen. You mewl wetly, entirely wrecked. 

He rolls his hips and drops his face into the back of your neck. "You'll tell me if it gets too much? Please?" he asks. 

"Yes," you agree breathlessly. 

He kisses the side of your throat slowly. "You're so fucking pretty, even covered in tears," he murmurs. "So pretty. You hear how wet you are, angel?" He pushes in slowly. "You're practically crying on my cock." 

You laugh. A little surprised, a lot excited. "Please, James," you say, needing what you'd had before. The unrelenting pace, the crushing feeling. 

Like he can read your mind he bears down on you and chuckles as well. "Anything you want," he promises. 

"Want it harder," you whisper, flushed in heat.

"What was that? Can't hear you over your sniffling, babe." His amusement is unmissable.

There's your James – insufferable. He snaps his hips into you and you forget all about it. 

[mr-imagin8ion]

Meet the characters first:

Bearl: Earl meets Bagel. An excited and gregarious yellow dog, who's the first to talk Muffin into an adventure, but he always ends up being the first to talk her out of it.

Muffin: Mooch meets Becky. A sensible tuxedo cat, who'd rather stay out of trouble but is more likely to roll with it when she's in.

Fitz: Counterpart to Ozzie and by proxy, Frank. Bearl's original owner, Muffin's step-owner, and Minnie's husband. Loving to Bearl, but not so sure of Muffin.

Minnie: Millie meets Mom from Bagel & Becky. Muffin's original owner, Bearl's step-owner, and Fitz's wife. She loves them, and they love her food.

Mr. Feynmanbot: Butchie meets Jenkinsbot. The robotic owner of the Fatsnaaaxxx Deli, where Bearl and Muffin (hereafter "the duo" or "the big two") go to eat. He serves bizarre meat-based dishes, which the pets accept because they know the one thing they’d hate more than a Feynmanbot who serves meat is a Feynmanbot who doesn't.

Postnie: Shtinky Puddin' meets Percy from Bagel & Becky (hereafter “B&B”). The duet's best friend apart from each other. An awkward, lonely, directionless, cleft, desperate canary with a conshpicuoush lateral lishp and a single-track fixation on saving the environment and the animals. His name, by the way, is short for Post-Nasal Drip because that's how people see him: nasal and a drip.

Winnie: Counterpart to Woofie. A big, loose, kissy, out of control dog with love in his heart and nothing in his brain.

Morty and Mattie: Counterparts to the birds from Mutts. Postnie's parents, but that's hardly ever relevant. Morty's a songwriter and Mattie's a migratory cruise director. They lisp too: Morty'ph liphp phsoundph like thiph and Mattie lithpth more like thith. (You'll never hear this in any of the comics, but their names are short for Post-Mortem Drip and Post-Traumatic Drip.)

Bean and Elizabeth: Bip and Bop meet Loaf and Lisa. The comic's antagonists, a married couple of squirrels who are bent on getting the drop on anyone they encounter - that is, they hit people with nuts. Bean's the muscle and Elizabeth's the wit.

Columbia: Composite character of Sourpuss and Noodles, combined with B&B's Argentina. A moody, reclusive, morning-hating male cat and the duo's neighbor.

Nancy: Counterpart to Shnelly, but really more of a spiritual antithesis. A streetwise female alley cat and Muffin's rival for Columbia's heart, because Muffin has a repressed crush on Columbia that only comes into play when Nancy's in town. She was adapted this way because we couldn't really have Muffin in love with another female because that’s not how Muffin does it, so we gave her a crush on Columbia instead.

Brunswick: Guard Dog meets B&B's Phillipe. A gigantic, tough yet gentle at heart dog whose defining quality is that he's perpetually on some kind of chain or leash. Sometimes someone takes pity and unleashes him; just as often, someone realizes why he's leashed up to begin with.

Dixie: Counterpart to Doozy. A sweet, chipper, 7-year-old girl who loves animals to bits. She's Brunswick's owner, and her love makes the lengths she'll go to leash up Brunswick twice as hilarious.

Baugo: Crabby meets Mayor Torgo. A man-sized crab, or a crab-shaped man, or ambiguously an alien. Whatever he is, he's the crabby and profane mayor of the strip's hometown of Alchemized Hills, Newmont.

See you tonight at 6:00.

Mixed Breeds: my biggest creation

This time last September, I discovered and read the newspaper strip "Mutts", about the unadventures of a dog and a cat.

It was a complete dead zone.

Half the time, the attempts at humor were thin, and half the time they weren't even there and there was only some poignant ad for some save-the-animals cause. There was like a total of ten gags, sometimes they forwent a comic and just overlaid an animal drawing with someone else's quotation, and it was sometimes just used to support a charity instead of tell a story.

But when a canvas is mostly blank, that means there's a lot of room to paint. So I decided I would completely rewrite "Mutts" to be something exciting and interesting and entertaining and charismatic and nonpartisan and funny. Taking a page from this show called "Bagel and Becky" that was from this country called Canada, I created "Mixed Breeds". It's like Square Root of Minus Garfield for Mutts.

In the Mixed Breeds canon, here's the story behind it: it was created by a man pen-named Notrick McDon'tell, a former storyboarder for the Bagel and Becky Show. When the show ended, he discovered that "Mutts" had become devoid, and traveled back in time to 1994 to take Patrick McDonnell's place and save comedy once and for all.

(Sometimes "Mixed Breeds" will do crazy inventive fantasies to make up for Calvin and Hobbes, which I also abhor because it's really pretentious and editorial and serious and editorial and serious and pretentious.)

It will start today at 6:00 post meridian and continue on a sesqui-monthly basis until it catches up to the present.

[corrodedcoughin]

hiiii! long time, no headcanon, but i'm back with a doozy!

imagine this: robin and steve signing up for a ballroom dancing class (why? doesn't really matter, it could be because robin's cousin is getting married and her parents force her to take classes or it's just them picking up a new hobby, who knows), only to have their jaws dropped to the floor and then some when they see the instructors with their matching curly hair, bright eyes and tight black clothes.

eddie and nancy show the dance they'll be practicing the next couple of weeks and let's just say that steve and robin having trouble keeping the focus on the dance routine because holy shit nancy looks so graceful and holy shit eddie just picks her up and spins her around with such ease, and on their way home steve and robin are both having a full-on crisis because holy shit how are they going to survive the nextclasses if one night alone was torture enough??

things only get worse when robin trips over her feet a couple of times a couple of classes later (this is why she doesn't wear heels), spurring nancy on to help her with the steps (this obviously does not work on bit) and eddie swoops right in to waltz off with steve, who had been left alone to fend for himself. steve is freaking out because eddies's hands (!!!) on his waist (!!!) and he's complimenting steve's form and how good he's doing before he spins steve around, leaving steve dizzy in a way that's not just from dancing.

eddie keeps coming back to him after that, giving him pointers and compliments were needed, paying him much more attention than the other students. steve is left wondering if he's not keeping up with the rest of the class (his teacher wouldn't be paying that much attention to him otherwise right??) so after class, he asks eddie about private lessons, to which (obviously) agrees and let's just say, that private lesson doesn't involve as much dancing as steve had thought

idk that's as far as my brain got but there's just something about eddie in dirty dancing-like dance instructor clothes, his hair in a messy ponytail, and being all suave on the dance floor. 'kay byeeee

Hello!!! Okay so I've trying to come up with a way to answer this that isn't just a keyboard smash because i am INVESTED! GIVE ME DIRTY DANCING RONANCE AND STEDDIE!!!! Steve and Robin 10000% watched dirty dancing and were SQUEELING at the lover boy scene, I JUST KNOW IT!!! Steve wants to be Baby and Robin wants to be Johnny and they both have huge crushes on Penny. I desperately love everythign you said!!!!!

Nancy and Eddie spotted Robin and Steve from the moment they walked through the door and Nancy is nothing if not a Determined Woman so as soon as she see's an opening to swoop in on Robin she takes it. Nancy lets out a sigh and tries to hide as smile as she sees Robin struggle with the steps. Eddie is standing right next to her and mumurs a ‘go get your girl Wheeler'

and Nancy laughs 'I know your game Eddie, you just want her partner freed up. Good thing I'm all about charity and helping the hopeless.'

Eddie doesn't reply, just sticks out his hand and Nancy grips it, they shake hands with a shared 'good luck.'

After the first encounter where Eddie complimented Steve's rhthym and literally anything else he could think of he decides to up his game the next week. Eddie slides up to Steve after Nancy plucks Robin away again. 'so I was thinking, last week I was the lead. And that isn't the way you'll be dancing with your friend, right? So lets switch it up this time around' and with a smile that somehow doesn't betray the bone shattering nerves Eddie is experiencing. He guides Steve's hands, one to sit on Eddie's hip and the other to hold his hand. Steve doesn't move, just stands and stares at his hand on Eddie's waist, wanting to squeeze the warmth radiating under his hand, wanting to drag his fingers over the skin, slowly, and lower, so much lower. But he snaps himself out of it with the hint of a blush on his face and locks eyes with Eddie

'So, ready to tell me what to do?'

Steve feels Eddie's grip on his shoulder tighten for a fraction of a second and absolutely resolutely does NOT think about it when he's on his own later that night (he does).

The next week there's an odd number of people that turns up, normally Eddie would just dance with this person himself but he can't face the thought of not touching Steve. So he brings the single woman and Steve together and says they are going to dance together. Steve panics, worries he'll step on this lady's feet or trip her up but Eddie has a trick up his sleeve.

'Oh don't you worry sweetheart, I'll be guiding you all the way'.

Steve doesn't know what this means, but imagines it will involve Eddie circling around him and his dance partner, telling Steve exactly what to do and when. Infact it is so much worse. Eddie tells Steve and his partner to find their first position together and then, then, Eddie comes up close behind Steve, both hands on his hips as he presses on Steve's waist, talking close to his ear

'I'll keep nice and close Steve, show you exactly what I'm looking for. Exactly how I want you to move'.

In that moment, Steve swear he dies. He stares hard over the shoulder of his partner and prays to god he doesn't let out every sound that is begging to come out of his mouth. He gives as good as he gets though, swaying in close to his partner when he needs and pressing back into Eddie when he can. The pair of them are a complete mess. What Steve doesn't know is his dance partner was a ruse, somebody Nancy invited after she realised she'd have to do something if she didn't want to spend another evening listening to Eddie lament about Steve's smile or his eyes or his eyebrows

('Really Eddie? His eyebrows?'

'You dont understand wheeler, this man is perfection. i'd pet his toe hair if he wanted me to.')