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I love the phrase "they get along like a house on fire". It's perfect. You and me have perfect chemistry and it's setting off the carbon monoxide detectors. People are calling emergency services to get us to stop being so chummy. Someone died

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john william waterhouse wanted to get fucked by a witch sooo bad

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Squidward clocking out of the Krusty Krab and heading to the nearest gay after hours event 

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One thing I always thought was wild about school in Norway, is how you have to learn both regular Norwegian and New Norwegian (which, despite the name, is old and mostly out of use). Back in the day after getting freedom from Denmark, the Norwegian elite was like "ok we have to make a new Norwegian now, unfettered from Danish influence" despite the fact that everyone in the entire country was already speaking an early version of Norwegian. At some point they decided that in order to try to force people into using New Norwegian, everything from the government has to come in both Norwegian and New Norwegian, public broadcasting has to air a certain amount of their content in New Norwegian (even though nobody really speaks it...), and it's a required part of the curriculum alongside regular Norwegian (also known as Bokmål) and English (UK and US).

If you try to ask someone why you need to learn New Norwegian at this point, you will be told "well, what if you start working in the government when you grow up?"

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Gettingbold enough to watch "bad" fashion from your childhood come into style is such a unique emotional experience

When I was your age wearing sweatpants with elastic on the ankle would get you keelhauled

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glimpse into my beautiful imaginary world where arthropods are really big and we domesticated them

edit: people are starting to say some "my worst nightmare" or "eeeww no that one is yucky and scary" comments on this like they do on any bug post and id like to say. it's fine if you don't like bugs it's fine if you're scared of bugs but don't put that on MY post clearly talking about how much i like them and how cute i think they are. you can make your own damn post about how much you hate wasps or spiders or whatever. i'm blocking people who make these kinds of comments.

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"The number of hours we have together is actually not so large. Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it."

poem by Mikko Harvey