#it's a bit different for me (i think?) so feedback would be great!

[nereidprinc3ss]

do you believe me now?

in which fem!reader is insecure around spencer until she finally asks him to take matters into his own hands (literally)

series masterlist

18+ (smut) warnings/tags: inexperienced reader, fingering, softdom!spencer my sweet sweet beloved angel, sub reader, praise, you know he talks you through it, brief mention of drinking wine, i think that's it a/n: i hope u guys like this ! slightly different dynamic than my other stuff maybe but let me know what u think!! i love feedback and i love YOU!!!

“You’re so pretty.”

It’s the first thing Spencer has said since you two landed on his couch, exhausted from one of Rossi’s extravagant soirées. It was your first of many, if Spencer’s entire team is to be believed. More nights featuring Italian food and wine you could never afford don’t sound half bad—but for now you’re drained. You barely had the energy to kick off your heels and topple into Spencer’s lap five minutes ago. The silk dress still pools over his knees and your hair still falls in curls around your face. He brushes one aside as he continues. 

“I mean—you always look beautiful. But I’ve never seen you all done up. You’re obscenely gorgeous.”

You groan awkwardly, burying your face in Spencer’s collar as your face heats. Taking compliments has never been your strong suit, especially from someone who you perceive to be so out of your league. The relationship you have with Spencer is relatively new, and sometimes you worry delicate; like one slip-up revealing the real you and he’ll go running. So far, though, he seems hellbent on proving you wrong. 

His hand finds the bare skin of your arm, passing up and down gently. “Why don’t you believe me?”

“…I do.”

It’s unconvincing. Spencer scoffs. 

“No, you don’t. You never believe me when I compliment you.”

The cadence of his voice is light enough, but it’s evident that there’s some genuine frustration there, lurking just under the surface. 

Your head lolls over his shoulder and he angles his neck to look down at you. Hair falls over his eyes, and you’d fix it if he didn’t look so damn perfect. Everything about him looks intentional, like he was designed by someone who took great pride in their work. Not at all like you—a collage of features and spare parts you guess whatever force created you had lying around. Nothing about you feels on purpose. But that’s a hard thing to explain.

“I’m sorry. I know it’s impolite. It just feels disingenuous to accept compliments like that.”

Goosebumps arise on your arm where he touches you.

“You being polite isn’t what I’m concerned about. I just wish I could make you understand that I mean it when I compliment you. You’d know if I didn’t. I’m a terrible liar.”

That earns a giggle from you. Your boyfriend smiles, sparkling eyes darting over your face like he’s trying to bottle the sound, the memory—and you realize he probably is. What a terrifying thought. You look away, abashed once more. 

“I’m a woman, Spencer. I’m not allowed to like myself. That’s the whole thing with Eve and the snake and the apple and whatever. Eternal inescapable shame.”

“Are you trying to justify your self-loathing by making it biblical? You know I’m the last person that would work on, right? Both as an agnostic-leaning-athiest and someone who thinks you’re beautiful and wonderful.”

Another groan claws its way from your throat as you slide down in embarrassment. 

“You’re killing me here, Spencer.”

“What can I do to do to make you believe me?” he murmurs, carefully brushing tangles from your hair as you now rest practically prone across his lap. The ceiling light stretches behind him, haloing him in a soft glowing crown and making everything a bit more hazy and tolerable. 

“It’s not your fight.” It’s meant to be playfully dramatic, but it hangs from your lips with a painful amount of earnestness. 

“If it’s yours, it’s mine. That’s kind of the whole point of a relationship, right? Being a team?”

His fingers are nimble and warm between yours as you interlace them, steepling and bumping them together as you speak. 

“Well, if you know so much, why are you asking me? It sounds like you know exactly what to do to make me magically love myself.”

A dangerous twitch plays at the corner of his lips as he gazes sleepily down at you. 

“Oh, I have a few ideas. But I’m asking what you’d be comfortable with.”

“Whoa!” you blurt, giggling self-consciously, covering your face with your (and inadvertently one of his) hands. “Where did that come from?”

He smiles at your response to his mildly suggestive comment. “I lose my filter when I'm tired. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” 

You sigh gustily, dragging his hand down to fall over your collarbones. His fingers twitch over the delicate skin, like he’d graze it if your hand wasn’t weighing his down. 

“No, no, you didn’t make me uncomfortable, you just… surprised me. I’m really bad at talking about this kind of thing.”

“Sex?”

You yelp, slinging your arm over your face and hiding in the crook of your elbow. “AH! Don’t say it!” 

He laughs again, a little less reserved this time. 

“What? You can’t even listen to me say the word?”

“No! Too scary!”

Eventually you peek out from under your arm to find Spencer still watching you. The humor has faded from his eyes and been replaced by a kind of serene calm. He brushes a lock of hair from your shoulder. 

“Come here,” he says—a request more than a demand. With some wriggling and a bit of help, you manage to reorient yourself into a sitting position across his lap once more. His touch is warm even through the fabric of your dress when he kisses you, hand sliding over your waist before moving to trace your jaw and ending up on the back of your neck, urging you closer ever so slightly. You kiss him back without hesitation or restraint, as you delight in doing when he gives you the opportunity. What you may lack in experience and refinement, you make up for with affection and enthusiasm. He pulls away after a minute, much to your dismay, and brushes his thumb over your lips. For the first time, you think you see a hint of worry in his eyes. Guilt claws at your heart when he quietly asks, “you’re not scared of me, are you?”

“No!” You assure quickly, looping your arms around his neck. “No, it’s not you. You’re perfect and I’m sure you really mean all of the nice things you say. But I just… sometimes I worry I’ll scare you away once you realize I’m not as pretty or… good as you thought.”

“That’s impossible.”

Once more you let your head fall onto his shoulder. “You don’t know that.” 

His hand begins running up and down your back, soothing your sympathetic nervous system in a way that all the deep breaths in the world never could. 

“I know that I really, really like you. And there’s not one part of you that I don’t find genuinely beautiful. I can’t imagine not feeling that way about you.” Your eyes flutter shut and you hum against him—a non-answer, but he doesn’t push it. Minutes go by quietly, ticking later into the night as he continues mindlessly rubbing your back and watching you breathe. “Do you want me to take you home?” He finally asks after a long while. Again, you don’t respond. He smiles. “I know you’re awake.”

The corner of your lip twitches as you attempt to suppress a grin. Spencer sighs. 

“I guess if you’re already asleep you’ll just have to stay here. But it would be convenient if you’d sleepwalk to my bed so that I don’t have to carry you.”

When you begin stirring and sitting up (one eye cracked to navigate) he laughs, hands on your waist. “Would you look at that. Who knew she would be so suggestible in non-REM?” You snort as you push yourself to a standing position using Spencer’s shoulders to support yourself, and ruining the whole act. He smiles up at you like you’re something divine and lets his hands trail over your hips. 

“I sleep with my eyes open.”

“Do you often have coherent conversations in your sleep, too?”

You shrug. “I’m full of surprises.”

“I’m sure you are,” he agrees, finally standing himself. “I’m assuming you don’t want to sleep in your dress?”

“I have shorts on underneath I can wear, but a shirt would be helpful.”

“Then we’ll get you a shirt.”

———————————————

Ten minutes later you’re in Spencer’s bathroom, wearing your shorts and one of his sweatshirts (you cannot imagine Spencer in a hoodie), and wiping black sludge from your eyes with makeup remover he claims was left by a friend after a particularly festive Halloween party. Hopefully he’s telling the truth—you can think of more dubious potential origins of the eye-makeup remover in his bathroom. No toothbrush—you use your finger and a generous amount of toothpaste until the red wine stains fade. 

Spencer is fixing the pillows when you exit the bathroom. You hold up your hands which are completely obscured and then some by the thick fabric of his sweatshirt. 

“Fits like a dream,” you say. A smile tugs at his lips as he finishes his task, before raising his eyes to you. The smile promptly fades and it’s like the sun disappearing behind an oppressive gray cloud. In an instant your stomach curdles and you feel like crawling out of your skin. 

“…what?” you mumble, absolutely terrified that the thing he’d said was impossible just minutes ago has already happened. Without makeup, without a fancy dress, you’re just you, and maybe that’s not good enough.

“Uh…” He blinks, as if he’s buffering for a moment, before snapping back into action, and notably looking away from you. “It’s—it’s nothing. Do you, um—here, I tried to make it—“

“Stop. Just tell me what that was. You got all weird.”

Another pause—he looks back up at you reluctantly with a sigh. 

“I did not get all weird.”

“Yes, you did. You’re still being weird. It’s freaking me out.”

He’s utterly unreadable, which drives you fucking insane, when he eventually says, “come here.” This time, you think with a chill as you shuffle on your knees across the bed to sit in front of him, it really sounds like a demand. Spencer grabs your face in his hands, studying you intently. “I know you think I’ve finally decided you’re hideously deformed, but it’s actually just the opposite. I’m trying to figure out how to keep things polite for you.”

Realization dawns on you and the swarm of new butterflies in your stomach. The usual molten gold of his irises has been encroached upon, masked by blown pupils. Your face gets hot and your voice caves when you speak. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” he agrees quietly. “Do you believe me now?”

And to his credit, you really do. The hot skin, the vibrating cells in every fiber of your being, the racing heart—your body knows he means it. Part of you, the more confident, more desirous part, drags you closer to him, ghosts your lips over his. He chuckles. 

“Now you’re getting brave?”

“Am I not allowed to kiss you?” you whisper, draping your arms over his shoulders. 

“You’re allowed to do whatever you want.”

The words make you shiver—the lowered, gravelly tone of his voice you’ve never heard before snaps your resolve and you lean into him, connecting your lips with a deep urgency. Spencer inhales sharply, hands wandering to your waist and bearing down firmly as you press against him. When you lean back, he follows you, insists without saying a word that you don’t stop kissing him. It sends a thrill down your spine and between your legs, which both gives you pause and eggs you on. In the end, after a very brief internal struggle, curiosity and desire win. You drop to the bed and drag him down with you—he, your willing follower, blindly searches for purchase on the plush comforter. Now he’s on top of you, legs slotted together so that his thigh is temptingly close to your core. Too shy to actually do what you want to do, you clamp your thighs around his and tilt your hips, desperate for friction. He exhales heavily, slowly pulling his lips from yours like it’s the last thing he wants to do. Fingers dig into the flesh of your hip, not enough to ache but enough to draw your attention to your movements. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, firmly, but not like you’re in trouble—it’s a probing question. He’s trying to figure out if you’re aware of the way you’re nearly riding his leg. 

“I don’t know,” you admit breathlessly. 

“You just told me you couldn’t even listen to me say the word sex,” Spencer reminds you. “You said it was too scary.”

A frustrated whine seems to catch him by surprise, and he laughs. 

“That was a long time ago. I’ve matured since then.”

“Is that what happened?” he teases. 

“Honestly, I’m just really turned on right now, please—" you cut yourself off, crashing your lips into his once more. And he almost relents. 

Almost. 

“Slow down.”

He ceases kissing you for a second time and you’re starting to really get annoyed. 

“What?” you groan. “I thought you wanted this.”

His thumbs brush over the apples of your cheeks, demanding your attention. 

“I want you. In every sense of the word. If you make a bad choice tonight and it means you don’t like me anymore tomorrow, that is the opposite of what I want. I’m not saying no. I’m just asking you to think about it for a second.”

You take a deep breath, closing your eyes and attempting to steady your mind and see beyond the thick fog of lust. What you find is a (mildly surprising) complete lack of fear. You’re not scared, like you thought you’d be; you feel utterly safe underneath him, with his hands on you and his heartbeat against your chest. This is a kind of intimacy you want to have with him. 

Your eyes open to reveal his, close enough you can see the tiny flecks of green. And so much warmth. Everything about him is warm. 

“This is what I want,” you assert. “I promise.”

His gaze flits between yours for a moment, pulling the truth from your soul like he might be able to find an imperfection there. But you mean it—and he seems satisfied. He trusts you, like you trust him. 

“Okay.”

A sigh of relief never quite finds completion before he’s kissing you again. Immediately the fire is stoked once more, the heat between your legs getting warmer when he experimentally pushes his thigh against you. You breathe into the kiss, pressing down on him and surrendering to the unconscious rhythm of your hips. He lets that go on for a minute or two until you’re so distracted that you can’t kiss him back. 

Unexpectedly he pulls away, disentangling himself from your legs. You stammer in frustration until his fingers hook under the soft material of your shorts. “Hips up.”

Wordlessly you comply, succumbing to his gentle words and touch. He bows to kiss you as he slides the fabric down unhurriedly. Once the shorts are gone, he sits up, and carefully lifts one of your legs over his lap, gaze unabashedly glued between them. 

“Eyes up here,” you try to joke, but it’s steeped in self-consciousness and your heart is pounding. He manages, stroking the inside of your knee with a thumb as he leans down again. 

“But you’re so pretty,” he murmurs, before he’s kissing you again. “Just like I knew you would be.”

You whimper when his hand skates over your stomach, lower, and lower, and—

“Tell me one more time, sweetheart.”

Your plead is just as hungry and yearning. “Please, Spencer?”

It works for him. 

When his knuckles brush over your clit, you forget to breathe. When they barely skim your entrance, collecting arousal to drag back upward, your brain malfunctions. It is not enough, maddeningly so, but when he finds a careful, introductory rhythm, it’s immediately bordering on too much, too good. 

Your stomach tenses and you are surprised by your own sighs and hesitant gasps as you try to adjust to the feeling of someone else’s hand between your legs. 

“Does that feel good?” he murmurs against your lips. 

“Mhm,” you chirp. Slow but insistent circles elicit a cry that gets caught in your throat, melting into a hum. Your eyes are closed, but you can hear the smile in Spencer’s voice. 

“You’re sensitive, huh?”

“S—sometimes.”

 He hums contemplatively. 

“Sometimes? Can you tell me about that?”

You can’t hardly think around those gentle movements of his hand, let alone speak. He touches you like you’re something delicate. It’s torturous and perfect. But you try to answer anyway, managing to keep the stammering to a minimum. 

“About what?” 

“I want to know what you think about when you touch yourself.” The smooth words in tandem with an incremental increase in pressure earn your first real moan. Timid and unpracticed, but very genuine. 

The answer comes immediately afterward; thoughtlessly and on a shuddering exhalation.

“You.”

“Yeah?” he smiles. “Good answer.”

Your eyes open fractionally to study his expression. You’d felt so much shame every time you’d imagined him in your bed late at night.

“Really?” 

“Really. And now look at you. Letting me do it for you.” As if to remind you, he speeds up the motion of his hand. On instinct you bring your fingers to your lips as you moan through a closed throat, partly to stifle the noise and partly because you don’t know what to do with the hand that’s not gripping the duvet. “Do you only touch here?” His fingers slide down to your slick entrance and your hips buck, mourning the loss of stimulation. “Or do you touch here, too?” 

You shake your head, breathing hard as he teases a finger around the soft place you’ve never really bothered to explore. “Never feels good when I try.”

“We’re gonna make it feel good, okay?”

You nod hesitantly, leaning back into the pillows when he kisses you again. 

His lips are so distracting, so intoxicating you almost forget what he’s doing until he does it. It’s a foreign sensation—not entirely pleasant or unpleasant. For a moment or two your brows furrow as you focus on the feeling, worried that maybe you’re broken just as you thought—until you feel a slight stretch and you realize he’s pushing a second finger into you now. A kiss lands on your cheek when you grab his arm with a choked gasp, and he mutters, “deep breaths,” into your ear. “I know it’s new, honey, just breathe.”

“Fuck,” you whimper as you look down, and you didn’t realize you were going to say it until it’s already passed between your lips. Pressure begins melding with the promise of pleasure, and something about watching his hand move between your legs—the tendons flexing and wrist bending as he eases into what is clearly a perfected motion—arouses you so much you moan at the sight alone. Flipping pages is all you thought that hand was meant for. It’s like a secret revealed as you watch it do something so salacious, and to you. 

A hot spark of pleasure flares deeper in you than you’ve ever felt. It catches and grows faster than you’d of thought—suddenly you can feel everything and it all feels better than you thought possible. Your jaw drops and a surprised huff of air blows a strand of your hair away. 

“Oh my god,” comes your breathy little whisper, unprepared for and intimidated by how good he’s making you feel. Filthy noises come from between your legs and you clench around his fingers. You had no idea you could make those noises. You had no idea you could get so wet. 

“Yeah, there we go.” His voice sounds a little further away now. You manage to tear your eyes away from all the action to his face. Much like you, he’s transfixed by the sight, brow furrowed and pretty lips parted in what could be concentration, or some sort of empathetic pleasure. His face has more color to it than usual and his breaths come heavier—it’s a very pleasant sight. Suddenly his fingers brush against a spot deep within you and your hips cant upward, a mewl pulled from the depths of your throat that has more control over you than you do it. Spencer’s eyes flash back to you, a grin playing at his lips. He does it again, looking right into your eyes, and you whine so pitifully your face flushes. 

“Too much?” he asks. You shake your head firmly, arching your back when he unconsciously slows down. At your response his fingers begin rutting into you again, committing to that spot inside you that makes you see stars. “Of course not. You’re gonna take whatever I give you, huh?”

“Uh-huh,” you nod. You’d do just about anything for him right at this second. Spencer holds an immense amount of power over you in this moment, and potentially in all future moments moving forward. But you trust him with it. 

“You don’t have anything to prove to me. I just want you to feel good. You’ll tell me if it’s too much, right?”

But it’s really not too much. It’s exactly right. Your verbal capacity is acutely limited right now, so you can’t exactly say it, but you lock eyes with him and whine shamelessly, hips twisting against his hand. You think he gets the message. 

Hair falls over his face and he doesn’t fix it, opting instead to alternate his gaze between your cunt and face, cursing to himself lowly. You wouldn’t want him to stop and fix his hair—what you want is this, for him to keep pushing you toward that elusive edge and to keep looking at you like you put all the stars in the sky. 

“Look at you, my pretty girl. I’m so proud of you. I know this isn’t easy. I know you were scared. Thank you for letting me do this, honey.”

It’s the unexpected tenderness of the words, perfectly misplaced in the context of the moment. It’s the devotion, the honesty in his eyes, shining through the haze of lust, which makes your stomach drop and all your muscles tense. A million thoughts jumble in your head, dizzying and thrilling and confusing, but mostly all you can think is Spencer, Spencer, Spencer. Is this how it always is? Your hands tangle in the sheets—and then all the thoughts vanish. Everything is warm and fuzzy and sparkling clean, no worries, no lingering thoughts, no self-awareness at all. It’s nirvana. It’s revelatory. It’s ridiculous that he did this all in under five minutes and you haven’t been able to do it once even with very concerted effort. 

Slowly you float back into your body, breathing hard and watching through half-lidded eyes as Spencer gently pulls his hand away. Without him you feel weirdly empty and cold, like he should have been there all along. But his touch isn’t absent for long—he runs his hand over the bridge between your hips, little finger dipping into the crease of your thigh. 

“That’s never… I’ve never done that before,” you admit, slurring your words only slightly. 

His perfect features contort into a half-frown, half-smile. 

“You’ve never had an orgasm?” You nod. His head tilts. “Really? You didn’t tell me that.”

“When would I have told you?” you laugh, finding his waist with your hand and encouraging him to settle his weight on you. He does, burying his face in your neck and exhaling heavily. 

“Well?” you ask shyly, skating your fingers over his back. “Did I do it right?”

Spencer snorts, but presses a sickeningly sweet kiss to the curve of your neck. 

“Did you like it?”

“Yes,” you admit, voice smaller than you’d have liked. He pushes himself up onto his forearms and kisses you softly. 

“Then we both did it right.”

“But…” you stare up into his warm honey eyes, searching for any bits of hidden truth you can find. He brushes a strand of hair away from your face, utterly unconcerned. “You know what I mean.” 

“I do,” he agrees, “and I’ll say this because I know otherwise you’re going to worry about it forever.” He studies your face reverently for a moment, before parting his lips to speak. The words are slow to come, like he’s trying to figure the sentence out as he goes along. “You… are going to be, problematic, for me.”

Your whisper is almost as small as you feel under his heavy gaze. “What d’you mean?” 

“I mean,” Spencer begins, voice low, “I think I liked that too much. Do you see why that’s troubling?”

The flame you thought had been quenched flickers back to life like a pilot light. Your thighs press together to alleviate a growing ache in a still sensitive area and you answer, “no,” with a small shake of your head. His thumb tenderly traces your jaw, ever-patient despite the fact that you’re obviously playing coy. 

“Because I can’t have you all the time.”

“Yes you can,” you say without hesitation, though your eyes are fluttering. “You can have me whenever you want. Right now.”

He hums, pressing a kiss to your cheek. 

“Not tonight. You’ve had enough. You’re tired.”

“I’m wide awake,” you slur, tangling a hand in his hair even as you lose the battle against your eyelids. 

He sighs good-naturedly, gently wrapping his fingers around your wrist and brushing his lips over the delicate skin. 

“You’re shockingly precocious.”

You hum. 

“You just unleashed the beast. You’re like Doctor Frankenstein.”

He chuckles, sitting up and finding your shorts. You manage to be semi-helpful, lifting your legs at appropriate junctures as he tugs your clothing back on. “And you’re a nerd.”

“I don’t need to take that from you of all people.”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” Spencer says, and the smile in his voice makes you smile, a quarter asleep as he leans over to turn off the lamp on your side of the bed before tugging the covers over both of you. 

He pulls you close in the dark, releasing a deep sigh as you curl into him. His heartbeat is steady against your ear, his arms warm around you. You can imagine making a home for yourself here. And you don’t know if he’s thinking it, but you hope he is, as you are silently repeating to yourself with every beat of his heart;

I love you

I love you

I love you. 

-

part two

[mayakern]

I honestly don’t know how to write this; I have spent all week attempting to figure out what to say.

Last Monday I was informed by our factory that our merchandiser and direct point of contact with the factory passed away unexpectedly two weeks ago. She was someone who I have spent a great deal of time speaking to ever since we switched factories two years ago. She helped us realize designs for new products, sent us samples of garments extremely quickly and kept track of all our orders. She went to bat for us if something went wrong with our print shop or if I was unhappy with how a garment pattern was interpreted by their team. As their first American client and a brand that focuses on size inclusion, something that is not typical of their other clients, she handled a lot of crazy requests from us without blinking and she was dedicated to ensuring that both us and our customers were happy. We talked nearly every day, and though it was work related she was one of the kindest people I have had the pleasure interacting with daily.

She was beyond dedicated to her work and to working with us. Turkey has an 11-hour time difference from me in California, which means when she was emailing me at 2pm in the afternoon it was 1am there. You can sure bet that I extended her the same courtesy and tried my best to answer her emails at night too, even when I would rather just be sleeping.

It was also clear just how much she loved her job, and now much she loved you guys. She had been silently watching our social media since we first started working with them. She got just as excited as we did on launch days and would often email me unprompted about how she was glad people were leaving such positive comments and reviews. She read your feedback when no one ever asked her to do that or even expected it of her. She did it because she really, really cared.

Even though she was miles away and we never met in person, she was like a coworker to me and the loss of her is like losing someone on our team.

The Maya Kern team, as a whole, has been dealing with a lot lately. I personally just moved (which took far longer than we expected) and Maya and Devin are gearing up to move back to Minneapolis pretty soon. With the loss of our merchandizer, it has taken the wind out of my sails a little bit. I was trying to push through, even though I am exhausted, and carry out the photo shoot for our new products this weekend, but it has become clear that my body just can’t handle it. My arthritis has finally told me to stop moving, so unfortunately, we are going to have to reschedule the shoot for later on.

We are doing everything we can to make sure our next product drop on the 21st still happens. But as of right now, due to this sudden loss, the garments haven’t even shipped from the factory yet and I am not optimistic that they will clear customs and get checked into the fulfillment center in time for the launch. This means the drop is likely going to be pushed back to December 5th and instead of a full photo shoot, we will probably have to settle for taking quick photos of everyone at home, and likely with our phones. 

We work really hard to deliver not just garments we believe in, but also pictures of said garments on bodies that our customers can relate to, and unfortunately I just do not think that is possible this time. As always, we really appreciate your patience and understanding during what has been a very difficult time for us.

Ash

Chief Operations Officer

[fishnapple]

New friendship, who are they?

I tested out a new set of beads for this reading. It was really fun.

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost

Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

BLACK

This might be someone who has their North node conjunct your ASC. You will be a breath of fresh air to them, they will want to learn a lot from you, at the same time, feeling a little bit out of their depth and uncomfortable. Your way of acting is completely different from their usual friends and your outlooks are also different from theirs. But they will sense that they can grow with you, you embody the path that they need to take. They're likely younger than you or less experienced than you.

They're a hardworking individual with a serious mindset. I think they can be pretty quiet, timid at times. They think a lot before they talk and consider the consequences of their words. You probably won't have much success in trying to small talking them. They might even seem closed-off, so frivolous chit-chat seems out of the question. But their attitude will change when you approach them with more serious topics, an agenda in mind, maybe you could ask for their help or they could ask for yours, a great excuse to start a conversation. They can be pretty stubborn in defending their viewpoint, so don't poke fun of them.

You're likely to meet them at your workplace or where they are working. They could be providing a certain service to you, frequently, so you begin to talk more to each other. You might casually mention one of your hobbies and you guys would click. And from that point onward, there will be opportunities to expand your social circle, you or them will introduce each other to their circle of shared interests. It will take time to get close to this person, even when both of you have the desire to get to know each other. They hide a lot of their more sensitive and soft side, I think that by being friend with you, they will have a chance to bring out this side more. This group is quite short because there's still a lot for this person to uncover and learn about themselves, they haven't come to their true sense of self yet. This person will look up to you a lot. In turn, they will boost your confidence and make you feel appreciated.

★Possible astrology placements: Aries, Scorpio Sun/ Sun conjunct Pluto, Pluto in 1st house, Moon in Taurus/Moon in 2nd house, Saturn in 3rd house, Mercury in Capricorn, Venus in Pisces, Mars in Cancer

SILVER

I get a strong Sagittarius or Jupiter energy from this new friend. They have a strong yet very graceful character that will inspire you a lot.

This friend will come in when you are about to turn a new page in your life, ready for a new phase. The moment you're about to step out of your comfort zone, the universe will introduce you to them, so that you will have an easier time adapting to changes. They will help you unravel the knot in your psyche. Whatever hangups you are having, they will work with you to address them. They will be stern and blunt about it, there's no getting away. At times, you will feel so triggered by them that you want to quit, to end this connection, but fate will keep you guys together and you will be grateful for their perseverance and faith in this friendship.

The first thing you will notice about them is their voice and the way they talk. They could be a fast talker, animated in their gestures and have a lively, mischievous expression. They are a compelling conversationalist, you won't get bored talking to them, exchanging ideas with them will be a joy, an eye-opening experience. Because they will expand your mind, introduce you to many subjects that before that, you had thought uninteresting, but through them, through their enthusiasm, you will find a new interest for these subjects.

You guys might work together or in the same environment a lot. There's a sense of helping each other, walking together side by side. You probably will travel a lot with them. This will be an equal relationship, there's a balanced give and take between you.

This person could have changed their home a lot. They don't have a very stable ground to rely on. They can have an air of being standoffish, but that's just their independent energy. But they can feel lonely easily. They feel that something about them is different from everyone around them, even their families don't understand them enough.

You might observe that they tend to fight against social standards, what's trending, they hate being a follower, mindlessly doing something just because everyone else is doing it. So they definitely stay away from those famous places with 5 stars reviews on Google. They can also be misunderstood a lot by their friends and the groups they are in, accused of being individualistic. This saddens them, but they won't back down for it. Popularity is not their goal. If you're someone who is struggling with fitting in, being yourself in a group setting, then you can learn a lot from this person. In turn, you will provide a rare sense of recognition for their honest heart.

★Possible astrology placements: Sagittarius, Gemini, Aquarius placements, Jupiter in 7th house, Jupiter in Libra, Pluto in 10th house, Aquarius ASC, Sun/Mars in 11th house, Mars in Aquarius, Sun in Pisces

TEAL

This friend will come into your life during the period when you think everything is moving so slowly, there's barely any progress or anything exciting. They will prove you wrong. You will most likely meet them at work or on the way to work, or at an institution. You could have noticed each other before but didn't really pay attention. It would take an event or a third person to properly introduce you.

It will be a slow start, you won't click immediately, I sense that your temperaments can be different from each other's. You will find them a little mysterious, watchful, they seem to be the type that prefers to stay silent at first to assess the situation and the other person better. You would hear about or sense something spiritual in them. They might have a different religious beliefs or they practice an occult art. They could speak a different language, came from a foreign country or have travelled very far from home. You will be mystified and intrigued, but a little intimidated. There could be a period of time at first when you just silently observe each other without making a move. I think the first person to break the silence will be you and they will breathe a sigh of relief. You seem to be more carefree and at ease with yourself than this person, and seem younger too, even if just in spirit.

You will have many philosophical discussions with this friend. The way they talk is wise and gentle. They have an innate understanding of how things work, they probe for deep meaning and open to myriad kinds of experiences. They could have a very profound effect on your mind, asking you questions that you've never thought of before, but they will not be confrontional about it, they just want to ask the question and leave the pondering and thinking to you, the answer is not as important as the acceptance of the question.

They might have moved their living space a lot or rarely stayed at home. They're a nomad, always on the move. They like to travel, explore, could be with their friends, which they have a lot, or alone, they are fine with both.

You will admire their honest way of expressing themselves, their energy feels pure and straightforward, what they show is what you get. Even though they seem so serene and calm, later you will learn that they have been hurt a lot in the past. They might have a fear about commitment, past relationships failed them, so they can be more cautious in this area. You will bring a lot of joy to them, they will find your way of living refreshing and fun, they will want to learn a thing or two about your hobbies and taking them up. You guys will talk about all kinds of things, share the silliest jokes, being ridiculous with each other without care.

★Possible astrology placements: prominent Sagittarius, Taurus, Aquarius placements, Jupiter in 3rd house, Sun in 9th house, Saturn aspects, Moon in 11th house

BLUE

You might be intimidated by them at first but attracted nevertheless. They will remind you of someone you knew in the past or someone in your family.

This person has a strong and intense aura, they are the type that takes no bs from people and set in their way. They would wear a lot of black and red colour and look good in them. Their style would be bold but minimalist. They don't like to adorn themselves with unnecessary things and prefer a neat style for easy movement and activities. Yes, they will love to move a lot, they are active physically and need lots of mental and physical exercises to release the pent-up energy inside them, which is a lot.

You would meet them in a public place, could be a company building, an institution. Maybe when you're going on a business trip or study abroad, or going to museums, conferences, the lecture hall. You will immediately be impressed by their vibrant aura. They seem so self assured, confident, but oddly enough, they don't seem to be comfortable around a crowd. I wouldn't be surprised if they have encountered some jealousy or backstabbing in the past. The crowd doesn't usually go easy on an individualistic person.

They will complement you perfectly. When you feel nervous, they will be strong and confident for you, when you feel down, they will light up your spirit, when you are confused, they will sit you down and talk some sense into you. And I think you will do that for them too. They are an extremely loyal friend. Fiercely protective of their close ones. Their protection is gentle but firm. They will peer into your core and unearth every secret and dark corner that you have. But they won't use it against you. You will feel seen and understood. Just remember never to betray them or cross their boundaries, they can unleash hell on you. This is the kind of person that you want to be friend with, not make an enemy out of them.

They could have talents with words, with musical instruments, with painting. They have a sensitive artistic soul that can perceive the tiniest beauty and capture it into a lasting existence. Their mind can be whimsical but disciplined. They know how to apply rules and methods to ground an idea.

Jokes and laughter are important to them. They like mental games, various kinds of entertainment. They probably have some interesting hobbies that you will want to learn and explore them yourself. Watching them doing something will be inspirational. You will want to encourage them to show themselves more to the world to see, to shine brighter than they already are.

★Possible astrology placements: Aries, Leo, Scorpio placements, 5th house stellium, Pluto in 7th house, Mars in 1st house, Mars in Aries, Aries ASC, Pisces Venus/ Mercury, Capricorn Mercury

AMBER

This new friend could be your future travel buddy. I see one person is leading another to go on a trip. Travel and learning will be the centre of your connection with this person.

The first thing you will notice about this person is that they have a glibness to them. They could talk fast, walk fast, change subjects mid sentence, rambling on and on. But it will be fascinating to watch and listen to them. They could be younger than you, more playful, less care about the mundane, practical world around them. This person will be a bag of infinite fun to you. With them, you will be more relaxed and enjoy yourself more, you guys would think up mischievous bets and games to entertain each other. I keep seeing the image of two kids having fun everywhere they go.

But don't mistake this for their lack of depth. In fact, they are a lot more mysterious and spiritual than meet the eyes. Their approach to life is carefree but philosophical, they believe that doing good deeds will be rewarded. They believe in serendipity, in life's goodness and abundance, this makes them lucky, it's like a team of spirits is having their back. You would think this person is free of worry. They even think so, too, but they're haunted by dreams and nightmares, their worries and fears lie deep down in their psyche. You have to probe carefully to get a glimpse of that. But they likely won't let you do it, they will dazzle you with stories, with adventures that make you forget the elusive nagging feeling of something is amiss.

They're lucky but they're not lazy. They're actually a very hard worker and you will admire their work ethics. Financial security is very important to them. Sometimes to the point of obsession. They work hard and play hard. There could be an over indulgence of some kind. They can be a spendthrift one moment, then make a completely random purchase (and regret about it later). This person probably like to buy little trinkets or bathroom products (they will gift you a lot of that too). They take good care of their hygiene and are very neat. Their house might be swamped with little things, but they will be well organised and aesthetically pleasing.

You might meet them when you go for a vacation, a trip. I see a large body of water so it could be a lake, a river, the beach, the aquarium.

★Possible astrology placements: Gemini, Libra placements with strong Jupiter and 9th house influence, Mars in Taurus/Mars in 2nd house, Sagittarius ASC, Moon in Sagittarius, Venus in Virgo/Venus in 6th house, Sun in 3rd house

LILAC

You would meet this new friend when you travel back to somewhere you had lived there before or the place where you were born. Also you could meet them through a female figure, likely your mum or your sister, a close female friend. They might introduce you to each other or you will meet this person when you're travelling with that female figure. This could be a surprise encounter for you. You might have travelled to this place often but this will be the first time you see them there. Another scenario is a business trip, but the presence of a female figure will still be there.

This person could have an intimidating reputation. They could be a boss, or in charge of an important position in their workplace. Whatever they do, people notice them easily. They could look a little scary at first sight. Their features are sharp, and they favour a darker style. Fierce and confident. You will probably feel nervous when meeting them for the first time, being subjected to their gaze. You would feel your capability and proficiency are being assessed silently. You might have to work with this person, the connection would be strictly professional at first. They can be strict, demand a lot and don't like to talk about trivial matters. They're probably a person of few words.

But strangely, I don't think you will feel uncomfortable in their presence later, when you're friend with each other. If any, they could even make you feel more confident and more carefree. Even though they prize capability and have a high standard, they are also benevolent and can be quite forgiving. They might only act like this with a few people, those that have passed their assessments. You guys could remind each other of someone close, there's a sense of familiarity, being at ease with each other, as if you've been friends for a long time. This connection could happen suddenly, but it has the potential to remain strong and long-lived.

You might notice that they have some trouble voicing their thoughts. There is a pain hidden deep inside them, and you will feel compassionate for it. Sometimes you could even act as their spokesperson, helping them communicate better. You guys will become the unlikely sanctuary for each other, no matter how much different you look outside.

★Possible astrology placements: Capricorn, Scorpio placements, Mercury in 8th house, Mercury-Saturn aspect, Sun/Mars in 10th house/ in Capricorn, Sagittarius Venus, Mars-Pluto conjunction, Sun-Moon conjunction

[dollfacefantasy]

Can't Help It

pairing: dbf!leon kennedy x fem!reader

summary: your dad's coworker needs a housesitter, but the house isn't the only thing you'll be sitting on (haha pls laugh)

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, masturbation, oral (m receiving), age gap (i imagine early 20s/late 30s), both reader and leon are kinda pervy but not in a skeevy way <3

word count: 5.3k

a/n: hi hi i am back! this was such a pain to write for no reason, but as always, i hope people enjoy. i'm not sure what trope this really falls under, it's probably more accurate to say dcw (dad's coworker), but we'll go with dbf for convenience. i might make a part 2 of this idk. also, i know the header images are really giving graphic design is my passion but... it is what is lol. as before, thank you for all the support on my last fics. if you reblogged or commented, i'm giving you a smooch rn. and just wanna say that i do take requests. if anyone is interested, don't be shy ;) any who, feedback, reblogs, and comments are appreciated! <3

When your dad’s new coworker asked if you’d be interested in housesitting for some easy money, you couldn’t find a reason to say no. Agent Kennedy, like your father, traveled for work a lot. Often gone for weeks at a time, he needed someone to watch the place and take care of menial tasks like getting the mail and watering the plants. It paid well and all you had to do was basically live in his house.

You had met him several times in passing before he offered you this job, and he was always nice to you. He would say hi when you’d come down for a snack while he talked to your dad in the living room. He’d ask how college was and about the different classes you were taking. One time he even told you about some old band he liked that he thought you would too. And that was all great.

But what was even better was that he was fine as fuck.

You had a fat crush on him from the moment you were introduced. The way his eyes pierced right through you but in the softest way. How his lips curled into a knowing smile while his hand gripped yours in a firm shake. The way he said “pretty name for a pretty girl” when you told him your name. From any other middle-aged man, that would have been so corny and had you internally shriveling up. But from him… you had to fight the urge to get on your knees then and there.

He’d approached you about watching his house, saying something about how there had been some nearby break-ins in empty houses and it would be a good way for you to get some spending money and blah blah blah. You were on board as soon as the opportunity to have more of him in your life presented itself.

Unfortunately, it was the nature of housesitting that you rarely saw your employer. You would see him when you showed up and when he came home and that was it. But those moments were enough to sustain your delusion.

The first time you came over, you walked into the house, glancing around the den of the man who enraptured you. It was pretty basic, but you figured that not being home a lot would be the reason for that. When you were done trying to psychoanalyze him from looking around his house, he gave you your own set of keys with a wink that had you blushing an embarrassing amount.

“Thank you, Mr. Kennedy,” you said softly.

“Call me Leon, Sweetheart,” he replied.

You had to look away to conceal your giddy smile. You didn’t think he noticed the effect he had on you. Or if he did, he didn’t care about your pitiful infatuation. But other times, you could have sworn he did this kind of thing on purpose.

Your first stint in the house went smoothly. You made sure to do everything he asked and even cleaned up the place a little bit. When he returned from wherever his work had taken him that time, he seemed impressed to your delight. He looked around, making small talk with you before writing your check.

“You get up to anything crazy while I was gone?” he said, smirking as he scribbled his signature on the small rectangle.

“Yeah, I was real wild - I brought out your vacuum for probably the first time.”

He laughed, handed you the check, and teasingly purred “good girl.” 

Now, he may have been joking, but your panties nearly soaked through with arousal regardless. You yet again hid your revealing expression as you said a timid goodbye and headed out to your car. You were shifting your thighs together the whole ride home, fantasizing about being a good girl for Agent Kennedy so he would relieve that ache between your legs that clouded your thoughts.

Honestly, all of this made you feel pretty pathetic. Lusting after your father’s coworker, now technically your boss, who was a good fifteen years older than you. Blushing and squirming every time he said something more than ‘hi.’ Weren’t you better than this? But then you’d see those thick biceps and mysterious eyes, and the answer in your mind would be a resounding no.

Because honestly, you weren’t better than this, you were so much worse. After the good girl incident, you decided that if he didn’t want you yet, he would. You would make sure of it. From then on, every time you were housesitting, you wore your most revealing outfits, did your hair all pretty, and even tried special perfume so you’d smell extra nice.

But none of it seemed to work. He kept up his regular teasing and charm, but to your dismay, he hadn’t railed you on that sad leather couch in the living room. You tried to convince yourself that his gazes lingered longer and that his touches were more strategic, but that felt like reach even for you. 

It was so frustrating. What more could you do? You touched his arm while he spoke. You laughed harder at his corny jokes. You even hugged him once or twice when you could justify it. You tried to drop hints every way you could without literally just trying to seduce him, and he did not seem to care. You nearly gave up. You decided that maybe you should just cut your losses and spare yourself the humiliation. Leave yourself with some dignity and resign to just being his housesitter.

You would have done this if not for the fact that he lets you sleep in his bed while he’s gone.

His house was meant for one person. It didn’t have a guest room. He told you on your first gig that you were obviously allowed to sleep in his bed since the alternative was the aforementioned sad leather couch in the living room. He told you to bring whatever you needed to be comfortable - sheets, blankets, pillows - since you’d be there for weeks at a time.

At first, it was too weird. It made you feel dirty, sleeping in his bed while harboring your secret carnal desires. But goddamn, that couch in the living room was uncomfortable. You stuck it out for the first time, but the second time you housesat, you relented and dragged your belongings back to the room you’d forbidden yourself from knowing. 

His bedroom, like the rest of the house, is pretty blank, but there’s a little more personality here. It made you feel like such a stalker, but you couldn’t help making observations, right? You got to see the type of cologne he wore, the few dusty books he kept next to his bed, what kind of stuff he crammed in the nightstand drawers. It sounded creepy, but you just had curiosity, right?

You set yourself up in his queen size bed, draping the plush blanket you brought with you across the mattress. The bed was comfy enough, but the absolute best part, the part that kept your fantasies alive and well, was the way the sheets smelled like him.

You nearly moaned when you took a deep breath, filling your nose with that familiar scent. It gave you such a rush pushing your face into those smooth gray linens. It was so wrong, but you couldn’t help shamefully slipping your fingers beneath the waistband of your shorts to play with your swollen clit. You clutch the sheets in your fists as you writhe on the bed, whining as you fantasize about your special agent.

Leon had gone years leaving his house desolate without an issue. All that nonsense about potential burglaries and spending money for you had been total bullshit. It’s not like there was anything of value in his house anyway. Those excuses served only as a way to get more of you in his life. He thought housesitting was a happy middleground, a tether to you without being obvious about his motivations.

Ever since he saw you for the first time, heading out your front door, offering a timid ‘nice to meet you,’ he had been hooked. You bewitched him with your sweet temperament, that soft laugh when he told you bad jokes, those gorgeous eyes projecting all the emotions in that pretty head of yours. God, you were so fucking cute.

You made him feel like a dirty old man, sick and perverted for coveting his colleague’s daughter. The embarrassment he felt within himself when he’d notice he was staring at your tits or imagining how your soft lips would look wrapped around his cock was immeasurable. Even though the guilt boiled inside him, he couldn’t stop himself. He craved you. He started finding more opportunities to visit your house, hoping he could steal a few moments of your time. That’s when he knew enough was enough.

Having you as his house sitter worked perfectly. He could have his moments with you without feeling too disgusted with himself. Even though he liked to tease every so often, he kept it friendly. He noticed that you, on the other hand, seemed to be doing everything to change that.

He wasn’t a fool. He could see the changes in your appearance. Those skimpy outfits you’d flaunt yourself in drove him crazy. The way you’d playfully roll your eyes and brush his arm had his cock twitching in his pants. It was becoming all the more tempting to spread you out on the dining table and take what he wanted. But he still wrestled with that part of himself that said to not take it too far. That you deserved better.

That was until you started sleeping in his bed.

He had come home after your second gig, given you your check, and sent you on your way quickly because he was exhausted from his mission. He went straight to his room and collapsed on the bed. He could tell the sheets had been freshly washed by the soft feel, but also because you were always going above and beyond to please him. Despite the recent cleaning, he swore to himself he could smell some of your perfume on them.

He looked like a madman, smelling his bed sheets for the faintest hit of that scent. He groaned, picturing you lying here, your beautiful body sprawled out on his bed. He inhaled deeper while conjuring images of your unkempt hair and sleepy eyes. It wasn’t long until his dick sprung to life as he saw images of you with one of his pillows between your legs, whimpering as you drag your dripping cunt back and forth along the fabric. He couldn’t help the need to desperately pump his cock to sinful visions of his precious girl.

This morning it’s about six when Leon unlocks the front door and quietly walks inside. He completed his mission hours before. He was tired, but it had been short, only about a week, and relatively easy. He told you he would be home in the evening, but he’d finished earlier than expected.

He trudges through the house and down the hall to his bedroom, collapsing in bed at the forefront of his mind. It’s not until he reaches the door and hears your deep breathing that it occurs to him that his bed is currently occupied. He gently pushes the door open and walks in, planning on rousing you so you could get your money and be on your way. When he sees you though, that plan vanishes from his mind.

The sight of you nearly melts him into a puddle. He pads closer to the bed, careful not to disturb you. Your shiny hair is draped across the pillow as you lie on your stomach with one leg hiked up. Your arms rest close to your face, their raised position causing your t-shirt to ride up and allowing him to see your waist. The blanket was tangled between your legs, and his eyes are immediately drawn to the junction of your thighs covered only by those thin panties you wore.

Despite your beauty, he controls himself. He pulls the blanket over your lower body and sits beside you to contemplate his next move. He came up with a few different things he could do, but all he wanted right now was to watch you sleep. He felt like such a creep, but you looked heavenly in this state. His ears strained to hear those delicate exhales coming from your parted lips.

He could just go sleep on the couch until you woke up. He could just wake you up and offer to let you stay until you had your bearings. Or he could just let himself enjoy this a little more.

He wanted to wake you though. He wasn’t fully sure of what he was doing, but if there was any part of you that had reservations he wanted to know. It would rip his heart to shreds if he frightened you somehow. He begins rubbing your back in long soothing strokes. He makes small circles with his fingers every so often. You stir a little, but don’t wake.

He continues his ministrations, smiling at your sleeping form. He uses his other hand to brush your hair from your face. He strokes the locks away from your closed eyes before leaning closer to you. He can smell that familiar scent that had driven him to humping the sheets for the last few months.

“Hey Angel, need you to wake up for me,” he coos in your ear, his hot breath fanning across the side of your head.

It slowly registers inside your unconscious mind that you aren’t dreaming. Actual fingers are coasting along your back. An actual voice is coaxing you back to reality.

A low hum emits from your throat as you shift to face the source of your disturbance. Your eyes open, still heavy from sleep, and Leon enters your field of vision. For a second, you wonder if you’re still dreaming.

“There she is,” he whispers, giving you that charming smile. He runs his fingers along your jaw and tilts your chin to turn your face completely in his direction.

You feel your brain malfunctioning as he floods your senses. The morning light coming through the window illuminating him as he looks down at you. The deep timbre of his voice speaking to you. His rough fingertips dragging across the smooth expanse of your cheek.

Soon as your eyes come into focus and your mind clears the fog of sleep a little, you grasp enough of the situation to feel a jolt of panic. It felt like you woke up late for school. You shoot up in bed and look at him with wide, apologetic eyes.

“Oh my God, Leon, I’m so sorry. I thought you wouldn’t be back until tonight. I’ll be ready in a minute. Just-” you ramble. You go to fling the blanket off of you, but remember you didn’t wear shorts to bed. You have to sit there, looking at him as you feel heat creeping to your cheeks.

“Hey, it’s alright,” he cuts you off with a quiet chuckle, gently catching your arm when you sit up, “I finished a little early. You don’t need to rush out the door. I figured you’d still be asleep.”

The look in his eyes soothes you. He has that rugged, worn out look that he gets when he comes back from missions. Your heart rate falls back down to normal levels, but your eyes still cast downwards, a little embarrassed he’d caught you unprepared. His fingers trail up and down your arm, and you shift a little to try and hide the fact that your nipples are hardening beneath the flimsy fabric of your shirt.

“Thank you. I’ll be up in a few though. I know you’re probably tired,” you say, giving him a sheepish smile.

He moves so that he’s further on the bed with you. He lays back on the pillows and looks up at you, rubbing your back how he was before you woke up. 

“Mmmm, I am, but you still don’t need to rush. I’m not gonna complain about a sweet thing like you warming my bed,” he says, that teasing smile spreading across his face and his fingers starting to trace patterns exclusively on the small of your back.

Your eyes flit away as your own smile grows on your face. How were you supposed to be normal about this? You look down at your hands in your lap and mutter a thank you.

“Honey, you really don’t need to be so shy all of the sudden,” he says softly, but there’s a smug lilt to his voice as well. You bite your lip as his hand begins fidgeting with the hem of your shirt.

He can’t help the smirk and predator-like glint in his eyes that form at your reaction. This was it. That little smile and refusal to meet his eyes was all he could stand. He was closing in now. The flirtation between you two had gone on long enough. He wanted this, and if you wanted it too, his mind couldn’t find a reason to deny the two of you any longer.

“Sweetheart, if you have something to tell me, you can come out and say it. I don’t bite. Unless you want me to,” he says as he reaches up to pull your hair behind your shoulder and out of your face, “And, lately I’m starting to think that’s what you want.”

You look over to him now, your eyes staring into his. Your limbs feel weak, disbelief coursing through your veins. Your thoughts stampede through your mind, but you eventually force the words from your throat.

“I think I want that too,” you breathe. Your heart seizes at his brows playfully rising. You lay down on the bed, resting on your side so that you and Leon are face to face. Your pulse thunders in your ears while you try to conceal how shaky your breathing is.

He scooches over to you, pushing you on to your back and propping himself on his elbow so he’s positioned above you. He leans down and presses two faint kisses to your cheeks. Pulling back, he looks into your eyes and strokes your cheek again with the same soft and slow movements.

“Think, babydoll? I think you know what you want,” he whispers, dragging his thumb over your bottom lip, “I think you’ve known for a while. Wearing all those cute little outfits, prancing through my house and brushing against me like a kitten. You were just begging for my attention.”

You squirm slightly under the spotlight of his affection. Somehow, you maintain eye contact even though every cell in you feels the urge to look away. Part of your mind wonders if he’s still teasing. If he’s about to pull away and leave you wanting.

Before you could overthink anymore, his head lowers to the crook of your neck. He takes a deep breath of you as he moves himself further on top. 

“Now, you’ve got it, but all you had to do, sweet thing, was ask,” he says as his mouth ghosts over your neck, “That’s all you have to do right now. Just want to hear that you want me as bad as I want you.”

“Yes,” you whimper without a second thought, “Please touch me.”

“That’s my good girl,” he hums as he begins kissing your neck. The kisses are soft. They’re barely there, but they’re overwhelming to you. You can’t help the pathetic sound that leaves your lips as you tilt your head back. The hand that had been touching your face trails down to your waist and begins caressing your side under your shirt.

His tongue gently laps against the skin of your neck between kisses. Your whole body is starting to heat up while simultaneously getting chills. Every inch of you aches for his touch. Your thighs subconsciously spread as your breathing becomes heavier.

Leon lets out a small laugh at your display. “You must really want this Baby. Just a few kisses and rubs and you’re already mine,” he murmurs as his lips move up your neck and down your jaw. He kisses your lips next, giving your bottom lip a little nip.

Another needy sound escapes your mouth. You return the kiss and flick your tongue against his lips. “I do, wanted this since I met you,” you moan, your body writhing for more.

“Naughty girl,” he teases against your lips, “That’s okay though, Angel. I’m the same way. Wanted a handful of these pretty tits since I saw you.” His hand moves up and kneads your breast. His fingers massage the flesh before centering and pinching your nipple. 

You whine and arch into his touch. Your eyes flutter as your face contorts with desire. He slides over you, straddling your waist. He stares down at you and takes in what was finally in his grasp. He coos for you to sit up a little while he pulls your shirt off of you. You comply and then flop back against the pillows. Now exposed from the waist up, his eyes feel even more intense. He’s locked on to the view of your tits.

“Oh, Sweetheart,” he mutters, “Even better than I imagined.” His hands cup the sides of your breasts, groping them a bit. You can now see his cock beginning to strain against his jeans. Your mouth waters at the sight, but it’s gone when he leans down to take a nipple into his mouth.

His tongue circles the peak before lapping against it, drawing more whines from you. Your body arches into his touch while his hands never let up their fondling. You take your lip between your teeth again. He moves to give the other nipple the same treatment, leaving the other one cold as the air touches the saliva-coated skin.

He plays with your breasts for a while more before drifting down your abdomen, lavishing your stomach with kisses. He squeezes your waist as he playfully tugs the hem of your panties with his teeth. He looks up at you deviously. “Your nipples were so hard, I bet your pussy’s fucking soaked for me.”

All you can do is nod, any verbal response tangled up in your esophagus. He leans back on his knees and swiftly pulls the garment off. His pupils seem blown out as he gets a look at your cunt. He pushes your thighs to your stomach, spreading you out for his gaze. You felt so exposed, at his mercy as he held you there and just looked at you. Your arms reach down and pull at the hem of his shirt.

“Wanna see you too,” you whimper with pleading eyes.

“Yeah?” he says with a soft smile. He leans back and pulls his shirt off. It takes everything in you to hold back a gasp. “Been fantasizing about me, have you?”

Your eyes rake along his chiseled abdomen, drinking in every line and shadow of his muscular frame. You reach out and pull him back on top of you. His grin grows, and he indulges you. You connect your mouths again, this time sliding your tongue inside his. He groans at your sudden eagerness. He runs his hand through your hair while you feel up his back, exploring the definition there.

You give him a little push, signaling that you want to roll over. His body flips over and takes you with him so that you’re positioned how you wanted. You make out for a minute more until you pull back, looking at him with your lustful eyes and swollen lips.

“Wanna suck your cock,” you say simply, sliding down his body so that you’re lying between his legs. You nuzzle against the bulge in his pants before unzipping them and tugging them down.

His eyes follow your every movement. He pets your head as you rub your face against the outline of his dick. He tilts his head back and lets out a sigh. 

“That’s a good girl, just gotta give you some love and then you loosen up, don’t you?” he coos.

“Mhm,” you hum. You kiss his solid length over the cloth of his boxers. Then, finally, what you had been waiting for since meeting Leon. You loop your fingers over the waistband of his underwear and pull them down, unveiling his beautiful cock.

You wrap your fingers around it, just an exploratory touch. You feel the veins in your hold and the heat radiating from his shaft. You slowly bring your head to the tip to give him some tiny licks. Your eyes dart to his face, looking for approval.

Leon’s chest ached from the way you were looking at him like he was a god. When your tongue sticks out and your eyes return his stare, he nods at you and keeps stroking your hair. Your lips soon wrap around the tip, and you bob your head a little. He groans and his hips twitch.

“That’s a good girl, baby. Good fucking girl,” he moans as your head slides further down his member. His fingers lace through your hair, pulling a little.

The praise only makes you more enthusiastic. You move up and down with more speed, making lewd slurping noises as you work. His hand on your head and his sounds of pleasure has heat collecting in your belly, leaking out of your dripping pussy.

His head rests against the head board as he watches you with half-open eyes. His eyes squeeze shut and his body tenses as you push your head all the way down, taking him into your throat. Spit trickles from your mouth and drips on to his pelvis.

“Fuck, Sweetheart,” he whimpers, tugging on your hair a little. You taste his pre cum leaking on your tongue. A gagging noise comes from you and his hips twitch harder. He barely restrains himself from bucking up and lodging himself deeper in your throat. You moan around his cock, driving him even crazier. He feels the rush of an orgasm approaching and tugs your hair with more firmness, guiding your head up and off his lap. You whine softly as you lose the taste of him.

“Sorry, pretty girl, don’t wanna cum just yet,” he says.

You crawl back up his body, so you’re in his arms again. You kiss his cheeks and the corners of his mouth as he rolls the two of you over so he’s on top again. He connects your lips in a deep kiss, tasting himself on you as he drags the tip of his cock through your slippery folds.

He doesn’t tease for long though. Soon enough, he’s pushing himself into your tight cunt. You both let out a symphony of sinful noises. Leon watches as your face contorts with pleasure as he stretches you out. You both felt a budding sense of satisfaction after finally receiving what you craved for the last several months.

He bottoms out inside of you. His head falls forward against your neck. He pants as he holds himself together and lets you adjust, keeping an iron grip on your hips. Your fluttering around him as you accommodate his girth. Your nails lightly dig into his back while you cling to him.

He begins thrusting with slow and deep strokes. You moan out his name a few times with a variety of expletives. He keeps his face buried in your neck, grunting as he feels the velvety sensation of your walls around his length. His motions become more fluid as he finds a rhythm with you.

“That’s right Angel, better than your dreams?” he murmurs against your neck.

“Yes, fuck, yes,” you whimper, “So much better. Think your cock was made for me.”

“That so, Baby? I’m made to fill up a precious girl like you? Keep you happy and full of cum,” he growls into your neck, his thrusts gaining intensity.

You nod thoughtlessly as he continues battering your insides, gliding over your sweet spot repeatedly.Your arms wrap tighter around him as you feel yourself getting dragged closer and closer to the edge. Your noises become more strained as Leon lays sloppy kisses on the side of your head.

He hooks his arms underneath your knees and brings your thighs up to your abdomen again. His arm loops around and thumbs your clit as he slams himself in and out. Your back arches and you squirm from the rush of white hot pleasure. You’re right there, not able to hold on for much longer.

“I’m gonna have you so full of my cum today, it’s gonna be dripping out of you still the next time you’re here,” he grunts into your ear, “Make sure your pussy remembers me till I can fill her again.”

His vulgar words rip a high pitched moan from your throat and cause your eyes to roll back. “Fuck, Leon, I’m gonna cum,” you whimper.

“Go ahead, sweet girl. Squeeze me nice and tight,” he moans, his own voice getting strained.

You do as he says. The orgasm overtakes you. You release a strangled cry as your body rhythmically rolls into the feeling. Your pussy clamps around Leon tight, sucking him deep and keeping the attention on that blissful spot. The thrill of satisfaction rushing through your mind only works you further. Your eyes flutter and your lips part as you completely let go.

As he watches you cum, he notes that it might be the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. The sight of your gorgeous body writhing and trembling because of him. The primal sounds of your moans and cries. It’s too much for him. He growls and grunts into your neck, fingers digging into the flesh of your hips. He snaps even harder into you and floods you with his sticky, hot cum.

You both ride the waves of euphoria together until you both start coming down. He basically collapses on you as he catches his breath and you wipe the sweat from your brow. After a minute, he pushes himself off of you and flat on to the bed next to you. He gazes at the ceiling as his chest continues to rise and fall with the need for more oxygen.

You sit up slowly, realizing he probably wants you gone now. Like he said, you feel his cum leaking out of you as you move to grab your panties from the corner of his bed. This is how you expected it to be, but it still hurt a little. Nothing you couldn’t handle though. Your pulling them back on when your snapped out of your thoughts by Leon’s arm around your waist, dragging you to him.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asks teasingly, spooning you and softly kissing beneath your ear, “You got what you wanted and now you’re running out?”

“Oh, uhhh… I thought you’d want me to leave,” you say quietly.

He guides your face so you’re looking at him. His eyes are still soft but more serious. “You think I would just fuck you and then throw you out on your ass? You’ve been sleeping in my bed for months, but you don’t know me as well as you think,” he says and kisses your nose, “You don’t have anywhere to be today, yeah? You thought you’d be here till later anyway.”

You nod in agreement, your eyes casting down with some embarrassment over your assumption.

“Hey, don’t get all shy on me now. There’s no reason for it,” he teases, “We have all day for me to show you how I want to take care of you. Just give me a moment, I’m not as young as I use to be.”

[vettelsvee]

Hey, how's it going?I have been thinking, for me, Seb gives off a GREAT vibe of a big family guy, who has a big family with the person he loves, my opinion of course. Could you write something like this?

E a propósito, adoro tudo o que você escreve!!

ROADTRIP TO MONACO | Sebastian Vettel

f1 masterlist | ao3 | requests or let's talk!

retired sebastian vettel x wife!reader

word count: 2894

summary: seb and a pregnant y/n go and have a trip to monaco with their three little ones after seb's retirement

warnings: none, just mentions of pregnancy sickness as y/n is on her first term of her pregnancy! fluff, lots of fluff, and dad!seb

a/n: i love that seb. i actually love seb and oscar so much that the only thing i want to do is write about them. i'll be waiting your feedback, comments and requests please! and also, don't forget reblogs are truly appreciated (also, so close to 1k! tysm to you all because i most of the times feel surreal with all of this and how much you seem to enjoy my fics). also, anon: hope you like this!

© VETTELSVEE (2024). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!

The soft melody of an alarm broke through the darkness of the bedroom Sebastian and you shared around one-thirty in the morning, interrupting the couple's deep sleep. Sebastian, still startled by the noise, managed to quickly stretch his arm to turn off the alarm in an attempt to fully wake up. Meanwhile, you rubbed your eyes, fighting against the tiredness.

"Is it already time to get up, sunshine?" you asked sleepily.

"Yes, darling, it's time," Seb nodded as he sat up in bed. "If we want to get to Monaco on time and avoid Charles from killing us. We should leave in about an hour and a half."

You yawned, curling up under the blankets.

"But it's too early, love… Don't you think we could, and should, sleep a little longer?"

Sebastian approached you and gently stroked your hair. He was aware that the fourth pregnancy was being a bit challenging for you compared to the previous three, despite being only in the second month.

If fatigue, nausea and dizziness were making life difficult for you at the moment, he didn't want to imagine how you would feel four months from now.

"Y/N, sweetheart, don't worry. Let me be in charge of waking up the kids and getting everything ready. You stay here and rest a little longer, okay? I promise I'll let you know when everything is ready so you only have to get in the car."

You looked at him with a tired but grateful expression. Still, you knew you had to help prepare the final details of the trip, and most importantly, make sure the kids were perfectly ready..

"Are you sure? I don't want you to take on all the work, really," you expressed with concern in your voice. "Even though I'm tired, I can help you..."

"I'm absolutely sure, darling," the man interrupted, smiling and giving you a warm kiss on the forehead. "These are the kinds of things I retired for, so focus on going back to sleep, alright? I'll see you in a bit, liebe."

"Sebastian…" you spoke again. "I'm really serious: we're in this together, and I don't want you to handle everything alone. It's a family trip, not a trip of Seb with his three kids. I want to help."

He admired your determination, but he wanted you to be treated as you deserved.

"I know, Y/N," he explained, "but I also know how tired you are. Really, allow yourself not to worry about your kids for once. I promise I'll wake you up soon enough so you can get ready."

You nodded, trying to avoid continuing the conversation and settling back into bed, closing your eyes and trying to sleep without thinking about how long your husband might take to prepare your kids.

Meanwhile, Sebastian left the room with determination and headed towards the children's rooms. Emily, Charlotte and Matilda slept all in different rooms, so he went from door to door, opening them gently and affectionately, and then approaching each bed.

He first woke up Charlotte, the middle one, who rubbed her eyes and looked at her father, confused.

"Dad, what's going on?" she asked, puzzled. "Did you have a nightmare and want to sleep with me? Or is mom having the baby?"

"No, no," Sebastian chuckled at his seven-year-old daughter's antics. "It's time to wake up. Remember we're going to Monaco today."

The little girl's eyes lit up immediately.

"Yes, that's right! We're going to your old workplace!"

After letting her fully wake up, the head of the family went to the room of the youngest, Matilda, who was four years old.

"Matilda, wake up, honey," whispered Vettel, giving her a gentle tap on her shoulder. "We have an exciting day ahead. We're going to see those fast cars daddy used to drive."

The youngest Vettel lazily stretched in his small bed and yawned. Sebastian then smiled, picking her up while she just wanted to hug Seb. 

"That's what I like to see, little one," he commented, tousling her hair. "Let me dress you so mom doesn't have to worry too much, okay?"

Both the children and Sebastian hurried to get ready. There was no doubt that, despite the sleepiness, the family was full of energy and excitement for what awaited them in the country about seven hours from their residence.

After also waking up Emily, your eldest, and making sure all of them were ready, Seb put cartoons on the living room TV to keep the children entertained and returned to his room, where you were still resting, seemingly peacefully asleep.

"Honey, the kids are ready. They're waiting for us in the living room. Are you feeling better?" he whispered as softly as he could, gently stroking your arm.

You opened her eyes and sat up in bed, stretching aggressively. “Thank you so much for getting our little devils ready, I owe you one."

He tenderly kissed you on the lips.

"You don't owe me anything, you did enough effort to bring them into the world and act as both father and mother when I wasn't around. Let me help you get ready, we have a great day ahead."

Quickly, Seb helped you change you clothes, gently touching your small but already slightly prominent pregnant belly. Once you were finally dressed in sportswear for comfort, you both walked hand in hand out of the room and headed to the living room, where your children were already waiting impatiently.

After making sure everything was ready and the kids had no further needs, you all headed to the garage, quickly getting into the family car. While Sebastian made sure the suitcases fit perfectly in the trunk, you took care of buckling the children up and offering them a few games or movies to keep them entertained on the way, although you were quite aware they would end up asleep.

"Are you all ready?" you inquired, turning around from the passenger seat and looking at her children with a smile as Seb began to start the car.

"Yes, mommy, let's go!" exclaimed little Matilda, who received cheers from her sisters.

With the car's engine purring softly, they set off on the Swiss roads amidst the darkness of the night, which, despite being synonymous with tiredness, brought a surge of energy to the youngest members of the family, where conversations and plans for Monaco came to the forefront.

"Do you think grandpa Norbert is going to come, Dad? I heard you talking to him the other day," exclaimed Charlotte, once again showing her admiration for Sebastian's sister. "Is grandma Heike coming too?"

"I want to hear the loud noises of the cars and see how fast they go," Emily added immediately, excited.

Sebastian smiled as he drove, very happy to hear the excitement of his children and, especially, to be sharing such an experience with you all not only after his retirement.

As the hours went by, tiredness arrived, and the children fell asleep. Quite the opposite happened with you: you woke up when you no longer heard the sudden conversations between the siblings. As you progressed along the winding roads and approached Monegasque territory, the sky began to lighten, giving them a beautiful sunrise.

"Look, honey, the sun is rising," you commented to Seb, pointing to the horizon stained with warm colors. "I can't believe we're finally arriving in Monaco after weeks of waiting..."

After a couple more hours of driving, and lively conversation among the family resulting from a brief stop for breakfast and in your case, vomiting a couple of times, you arrived in Monaco. The city looked completely different from any other time of the year as the streets were adorned with flags and banners for the Grand Prix. Furthermore, the grandstands, the paddock, and the countless yachts docked in the harbor made Monte Carlo seem even richer than it already was.

"We're here, guys," Sebastian announced to his children sweetly. "If you need something, just make sure to tell me, alright?”

Seb parked the Mercedes in a parking lot reserved for VIP guests, and then got out of the car to help you. He made then a phone call, possibly to Leclerc, your kids began to stroke your belly. You reacted early and quickly moved them away, aware that journalists and paparazzi could discover the secret.

"Let's follow dad, guys," you whispered to them, getting down to their level. "And remember: no one, not Uncle Charles or anyone who asks you, can know that dad and I have made a little baby, okay?"

The children nodded in response to your question, which somewhat reassured you were still nervous. However, the excitement began to set in as you walked alongside your kids, following Seb towards the place where the free practice sessions would take place, partially pushing aside your worries. The sound of the engines grew louder with each step you took, with the youngest of the family covering her ears with his little hands.

"Look, mommy: there's the Ferrari team!" exclaimed Emily pointing towards the red team's garage.

Charles appeared in his racing suit, as Free Practice was set to begin in just thirty minutes.

As soon as he spotted your husband, who was slightly ahead of all of you, he raised his arms in the air with great joy at seeing him again on the circuits, a wide smile adorning his face.

"Charles!" exclaimed Seb when he finally reached the Monegasque, giving him a strong hug. "Thank you so much for inviting us. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. The kids are very excited to be here, and especially to see you."

Leclerc returned the hug to the German, reminiscing about the two years they were teammates.

"You don't have to thank me, Seb," replied the Ferrari driver. "I'm sure Emily and Charlie remember something, but I know it's all new for Matilda. Anyway, I'm sure they'll enjoy it like the first time, just like Y/N!"

As the conversation continued between the two men, you and the kids surrounded the Ferrari driver, who felt a bit shy seeing the children's excited faces.

"Thank you, Charles," you expressed with your little ones embracing you somewhat shyly. "We're very grateful that you made it possible for us to come," you leaned closer to the Monegasque and whispered: "and don't tell anyone, but despite Ferrari's shitty strategies, you're doing great."

After a few minutes of conversation catching up on your respective live, and where Seb almost revealed you were expecting your fourth child, Charlotte, Emily and Matilda crowded around Charles, excited to see their father's former teammate again. Despite the constant denials from the team engineers, he managed to let your kids have a close look at his car.

"Look," said Charles, excitedly, pointing to the vehicle, "this is the car I'll be practicing with today, and that's my teammate's, Carlos," he pointed to the car beside it. "What do you think?"

The children's eyes widened with passion as they began to examine the car closely.

"Can we touch it, Uncle Charles?" asked the four-year-old, grabbing Leclerc's race suit pants.

Charles smiled, nodding enthusiastically, inwardly melting at the scene he was witnessing. He wished he could see himself like that with Olivia in a few years.

"Of course, but do it quickly so you father doesn’t get fined again," he said jokingly.

While the kids explored the car, and after you joined them shortly after, Charles and Seb began to converse animatedly yet seriously about the expectations for the Grand Prix and the sensations he had so far in the 2024 Formula 1 season.

The sudden hustle in the Ferrari garage made it clear that Free Practice 1 was about to begin. Sebastian and Charles had their conversation interrupted when Leclerc's beloved engineer insisted he get into the car as soon as possible. It was finally time for you to head to the corresponding grandstand to enjoy the practice session.

The Monegasque was forced, much to his regret, to interrupt his conversation with the your husband. Seb, however, understood, and immediately turned to you all, who were eagerly waiting to go to the best spot to watch the cars go around.

"Come with me, kids," notedhim, "it's time to go up to the VIP grandstand to get a better view of the session."

Taking Matilda in his arms, holding his daughters' hands with his free hand, and with you on his left, you all formed a little chain to avoid getting lost in the commotion on you way to the designated spot.

You were moved by the scene you were witnessing. Holding onto Seb's free arm, you tried to control your tears as your followed your husband's lead.

Minutes later, you had found your reserved seats, but numerous fans who had recognized Seb had delayed him. You were used to this, as were your kids. Moreover, none of your minded as they were aware that Seb had done great things for and in the world of motorsport.

“Look dad!”, exclaimed Emily excitedly as her father sat down next to her, “That's Charles! He's going really fast!”

"Yes, he's going fast indeed, Emily," Seb answered, still in shock at what he was witnessing after many time.

As the practice hour progressed, you captured some moments of the family with your camera, all of them fully caught up in the energy emanating from the circuit at that moment. The applause and words of encouragement, though impossible to hear for the drivers, were felt as the local hero made his appearance on the track.

When it came to an end, faster than they thought, you all made your way back to the Ferrari garage, where Charles had promised to meet his former teammate after the session.

Once there, you saw the blue-eyed with his girlfriend, Alexandra, engaged in lively conversation, likely about what had happened on the track during the previous hour. Charles, upon seeing Sebastian with you at the garage door, hurried over as fast as he could.

"Seb, I thought you'd be gone!" he exclaimed excitedly. "I didn't get to see you: you know, speed problems," he laughed at his own bad joke, "but I'm sure you had a good time, and your amazing wife and kids did too, right?"

Matilda and Charlotte shouted in unison. You and Emily nodded quickly.

"I'm really impressed, Charles," Vettel said enthusiastically. "Apart from the track being in wonderful condition, the weather cooperating, and not having too many idiots running around today, your performance has been incredible."

Alex joined the conversation, greeting your and the kids first, and then Seb.

"It's been wonderful seeing you in the stands. I wish I didn't have to stay locked up in the garage all day, but there are these crazy Charles fangirls out there..." she joked.

You laughed at the comment. If she only knew all that you had to go through in the early years of your relationship with Seb…

"Anyways…" Leclerc began, placing his arm around his girlfriend's waist. "Alex and I have been talking these past few days and we'd like to ask you if you'd like to join us for dinner tonight. It would be nice for us to spend some time together, just relaxing, and celebrate that you've finally come back around here," he explained, looking directly at your husband.

"But really, if it's any inconvenience for you," she hurried to add, "or if you need to head back home or..."

Sebastian looked at you, who nodded excitedly at the proposal.

"It would be an honor, Charles."

After exchanging details for the dinner, they bid farewell momentarily due to Leclerc's press commitments. During that time, you returned to the hotel where you would stay for a couple of days to freshen up and prepare for dinner, as managing three children wasn't an easy or simple task.

When you met again, this time at the restaurant, you were warmly welcomed by its members. Dinner unfolded amid laughter and lively conversations, mostly revolving around Formula 1 anecdotes and your private lives.

As the night progressed, Seb and Charles delved into deeper topics about the world that absorbed so much of their lives. Alex and you, on the other hand, got to know each other more and realized they had more in common than you initially thought.

The children, meanwhile, were having the time of their lives: Charlie, Emily, and Matilda, who fell asleep early, spent the night playing games with the young couple, who still seemed like kids in your eyes.

"I hope you've enjoyed the day, guys," Charles said, raising his glass of wine. "I hope we can enjoy many more moments together, especially when the little one comes because, Y/N, I know there’s a reason why you’re not drinking alcohol when you like wine so much."

"Cheers!" you all exclaimed while you tried not to get nervous and more shy than you actually were, laughing at the revealed secret. 

As you continued to enjoy the delicious food, along with the laughter and entertaining stories, you knew that trip to Monaco would become a cherished memory in the years to come. There was no doubt you should definitely do this more often and, above all, around the world if given the chance, something you had been waiting for years.

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

personal confessions. [1/3] l Joel Miller

Summary:  you met to celebrate, but your conversation took a dangerous turn

Warnings:  (+18) smut, a little bit of angst and fluff, a few beers, a few unexpected confessions, some swearing, jealousy, lust, fingering, one ex-boyfriend, Sarah mentioned, Tommy is there too

A/N: I'm not sure how this will end, because I'll probably stumble along the way. But this idea has been on my mind for a while. We like a friends-to-lovers story, right? I hope I can find the words and put them together, create something nice. I'll give it a chance.

your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

"Sweet Jesus!"

He turned and moved his gaze to where Tommy was staring. At first he didn't know what his brother was talking about, only when the crowd thinned out a bit he saw a familiar silhouette. At that moment Joel knew exactly what his brother meant.

You were walking towards them dressed in a pretty black silk skirt that beautifully accentuated your curves and a top that left little to the imagination. A few men clearly looked back at you as you approached their table giving them a wonderful smile.

"Hi. Sorry to keep you waiting." you said sitting down next to Joel.

Tommy grinned at you "Nothing to apologize for. Besides - wow - you look amazing!" he noticed you were a little embarrassed "Why don't you dress like that for work?"

"That's a good reason." you replied "But today we're celebrating so I thought it would be a good idea to wear something different, right?"

"Would you like something to drink? A beer or a cocktail?" the man stood up from the table.

"Beer sounds good. Thanks."

Tommy walked away towards the bar and you looked at Joel. He hadn't said a word to you yet and you felt a little awkward. He was wearing a nice shirt and looked really good.

"So..." you started, folding your hands on the table. "Lots of work ahead of you, huh? This is a new big deal."

"Yeah, I guess so." Joel scratched the back of his neck. "I'm glad we managed to work it out with the client. You're the one to thank for that too."

"Stop it!" you laughed, placing your hand on his forearm. "You're the boss. I just sit at the desk."

"If your job is just sitting around, then you're doing a great job." He smiled, affectionately patting your hand with his. "Jack didn't mind you coming with us? He didn't want to join?"

In one second, Joel noticed how the smile fell from your face and you stiffened. He immediately sensed that something was wrong and regretted asking the question at all.

"I guess I don't really care if he would mind since we haven't been together for over a week." You replied, trying to sound much more relaxed than what your body was saying.

"Does that mean... You broke up?" You nodded "Shit! Sorry, I didn't know."

You raised a reassuring hand and plastered a small smile to your lips "That's fine. It's not really something I want to brag about, is it? People break up all the time, we just filled in the statistics."

Joel swallowed a sip of beer to hide his confusion and surprise. However, you quickly forgot about your conversation as soon as Tommy placed a beer in front of you and you immersed yourself in a discussion about his last date.

The minutes of a pleasant Friday evening passed, filled with laughter, conversation and slow sipping of cold beer. Tommy talked you into dancing with him, twice, and then disappeared to the other end of the bar when he saw some really beautiful girl. You plopped down in the chair next to Joel, feeling how hot you were.

"I guess we can cross Tommy off the attendance list now." You stated, fanning yourself with your hand and watching as the girl giggled at some of his jokes.

"I think so." Joel mumbled, reluctantly tearing his gaze away from your cleavage.

Your chest heaved as you breathed deeply, your skin glistening with sweat, and the scent of your perfume became even more intense. You were beaming, single strands of wet hair stuck to your neck, and your body relaxed.

If it weren't for the fact that he had only just started his second beer, Joel could have blamed this strange feeling on the fact that he was drunk. But he didn't feel that way.

At that moment, Joel envied his brother the ease with which he approached women. You intimidated him a little, although he really liked you. 

You had been working together for some time and outside of work, you had also been on really friendly terms. Joel would be grateful for every bit of help he got from you with Sarah. 

It didn't matter if it was some weird project for school, buying some clothes or just talking to him as you tried to explain what was going on with a teenage girl. 

Joel loved Sarah more than life, and she adored him, but sometimes they needed a translator, and you were perfect for that.

"You should do the same thing he did." You said after a moment, and seeing Joel frowned, you laughed "What? You think you won't pick up any pretty girls here? Please!"

Joel shook his head in disbelief.

"I'm not cut out for this." He muttered, and seeing the surprise on your face, he added "I'm a single father, I work too much and I forgot how to flirt or pick up anyone. I'm out of business."

You rolled your eyes so dramatically that Joel couldn't stop laughing.

"Really?" You sneered "I've never looked at you like that."

"Because you work for me."

"But I'm also a woman, which may be hard for you to see." you were wrong, he knew that from the first moment he saw you "I always thought you were a really handsome guy, after all you just have to find someone nice. And don't hide behind "I'm a single father", because that's lame."

You both laughed. The beer you drank was pleasantly buzzing in your head, but you didn't feel drunk, just a little happier. Your nails were tapping quietly on the table top, and a smile was on your lips.

"What about you? Now that you're single again..."

You looked at him and Joel immediately noticed a shadow of sadness in your eyes.

"I'm sorry." he mumbled quickly looking down at the bottle he was turning in his hands "I don't know why I said that."

It was a lie, he knew, but he didn't want to admit it to himself yet. 

"I didn't know we were bidding on each other." You replied, smiling. "I'm in." You bit your lip, thinking for a moment, then recited. "I work a lot too and my phone is glued to my hand, I dressed in my best clothes to improve my low self-esteem after the breakup, and I haven't had a real orgasm with a guy in ‘who knows how long’."

Joel choked on the last sip of his beer. It took him a moment to stop coughing, and you giggled as tears welled up in his eyes.

"I guess I won." You said.

"What did you say?" he finally choked out, hitting his chest with his clenched hand and regaining his breath.

You shrugged. "That I work too much. I once got a call from a client during a visit to the gynecologist. He was a bit surprised because we were in the middle of an examination, but..."

"I meant..."

"Oh! Ooohhhhh!" now you understood, but you shrugged again "I think there's something wrong with me, I don't know."

"What about Jack?" he asked.

"He didn't really have problems with orgasm."

You watched each other carefully, until suddenly you both burst out laughing. You hid your face in your hands.

"I'm sorry!" you groaned "It's so embarrassing!"

"It's not embarrassing, it's just...sad." Joel gently grabbed your hands and moved them away to see your face "Just... Look at yourself! Have you talked to him about this?"

"I guess I was too nice, you know. I figured that since he's a nice guy and treats me well, I can take care of the rest myself, right? And that's how it worked."

"And he never... Fuck! I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

You smiled and looked at him with some strange tenderness. "Don't worry, Joel. It's totally fine. Let's blame it on the beer."

He tilted his head and mumbled a quiet "Sure." After that, you both fell silent for a moment. Tommy had long since disappeared from your field of vision, but that didn't worry you. Eventually, you announced that you were going to the toilet and would probably slowly get home afterward.

Joel watched you as you walked through the bar, your hips swaying freely, and he noticed again how your skirt beautifully emphasized your curves. He didn't know why he couldn't get your words out of his head.

How on earth had a woman like you never experienced an orgasm with a guy? Or at least hadn't for a long time. It was beyond his comprehension. You were a beautiful, smart, and funny woman. Joel never hit on you because you were in a relationship, but he was a guy, he had eyes. 

He couldn't imagine having you in his bed and never making you cum. Never to see your body tremble, to hear you moan his name, to see your chest heave as you catch your breath, your flushed cheeks. He would love to see the look in your eyes right after he brought you to climax, in every possible position. You would look so good with your legs on his shoulders or your ass in the air.

Fuck!

The twitch in his jeans meant his thoughts had wandered too far. Way too far. He shouldn't be thinking about you like that.

His eyes immediately caught the moment you appeared in range again. Some guy stopped you and you talked for a moment, smiling at him flirtatiously. A strange feeling filled Joel's chest. His body tensed, and when the guy put his hand on your shoulder, he was almost ready to go there and take you to his car.

However, you must have really wanted to go home, because soon you said goodbye and went back to the table. You didn't notice any change in Joel's behavior and he was happy about it.

"Do you need a ride?" he asked as you finished your beer.

"If it's not a problem for you, you'll save my life." you replied. "I don't like walking home alone at night."

You left the bar together, and Joel placed his hand on the lower back of yours, throwing a quick glance at the man who dared to stop you. In a strange way, he wanted to give a signal that he had nothing to count on.

The evening was pleasantly cool and it was nice to breathe in fresh air. When you reached his car, before he opened the door for you, he leaned against it, clearly struggling to say something to you. He was strangely silent the whole way and you were afraid that it was maybe because of your conversation.

"Listen..." he started, his voice low and pleasant "I don't want you to go home thinking that something is wrong with you. What you told me... It wasn't fair to you, you know."

You watched him carefully. You were silent, letting him blurt out what he wanted to say and he was grateful for it. It wasn't easy for him. 

You were friends, but you were also a man and a woman. The news that you broke up with Jack opened doors in Joel's head that he had pretended not to see before.

"I would never let you... I mean. Fuck!" he hissed, scratching his neck in embarrassment "You're wonderful and you deserve everything."

A small smile appeared on your lips and your hand stroked his arm.

"Thank you for saying that, Joel." You said. "That means a lot to me. And you know what? I think you were a little too hard on yourself, because you know exactly how to talk to women. You should give yourself a chance and find someone..."

"I don't want someone." He blurted out, his tone decisive. He looked at you completely differently than before, his eyes darkening. "I want you. For a long time."

You were surprised, but you didn't have time to respond when his warm hands grabbed your cheeks and Joel moved closer to place a tender but deep kiss on your lips. 

It was something that consumed you completely. The tart taste of beer and mint gum first made itself felt on your lips, and when you parted them, his tongue slipped deeper. The warmth of his body was transferred to yours. You hesitantly placed your hands on his waist, but he only deepened the kiss, extracting a muffled sigh from your throat.

Fuck! He could go crazy if he heard it more often. But he wanted to listen to it for hours. 

Your perfume, the way you clung to him, the way you kissed him back, your hands on his body... Joel had to stop so he wouldn't bend you over the hood of his car and take you in the parking lot.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered "I don't know what got into me."

"Don't apologize if you don't mean it." you replied "That was really...good."

He smiled the way you loved it, small wrinkles appearing around his eyes as they sparkled. "If you let me, I'll make you feel really good."

It was bold and unexpected. Joel immediately thought that this time he had gone too far. After all, you had recently broken up with your boyfriend, and he acted like he was just waiting to get into your panties and...

"I think that's an interesting offer." If he hadn't seen your lips moving, he would never have believed you had said that. 

He opened the car door and you got in, feeling like your muscles were giving up on you. Maybe it was stupid and unwise, but you didn't want to think about it. You left your common sense at the door and when you felt Joel's lips on you again, you just wanted to lose yourself in this guy.

He kissed you like his life depended on it, hard and insistent. His hands were everywhere, but you weren't shy either. When you slid your fingers into his hair and pulled them slightly, a muffled groan escaped from the depths of his chest.

"Sounds good." You giggled, breaking away from his lips that were thirsty for you for a moment.

"I want to hear what you have inside you, baby." He replied as he slid his hand under your skirt, then followed the inside of your thigh to your hot center.

Brown eyes looked at you carefully, ready to catch the slightest grimace that would indicate your discomfort. The last thing Joel wanted was for you to feel bad and uncomfortable with him. But he didn't see anything like that in your eyes as his fingers slid over your covered pussy.

"Will you let me?" You nodded slightly. 

At that moment, you would have let him do anything. Joel had stunned you. You couldn't think rationally, you just wanted to feel him by your side, on you, inside you. It didn't matter how or where. He was the only one that mattered to you. You didn't want to be rational anymore. You followed him and wanted what he promised to give you.

Besides, it was Joel. You knew him, you trusted him, you were friends and you really had a strange weakness for him.

His hand pressed tightly and slid over your pussy, your legs spread apart unconsciously. Joel's lips kissed your neck and you closed your eyes, tightening your fingers on his shoulder as he pulled your panties aside and you felt his fingers on your skin.

"So wet..." he whispered in your ear, his hot breath tickling your neck "You must be very thirsty, but don't worry, baby. I'll give you what you deserve."

He pressed his lips against yours, stifling your sigh as he pushed two fingers inside you. Your body tensed at the sudden feeling of stretching, but soon a pleasant feeling flooded your lower abdomen.

Joel's fingers were long and filled you perfectly, he moved steadily, but he slid them all the way to your knuckles, which made him reach your g-spot perfectly. You tightened your fingers around his wrist, but he didn't stop.

"I know, I know, baby. You take them so well." he whispered, kissing your temple and looking between your spread thighs.

His hand was already wet with your juices, and the thought of what it would be like to have his cock inside you made him even harder. Sweet moans escaped your throat. You were so close, and he hadn't seen anything more beautiful than you in that moment in a long time.

"Shush." he whispered as he added a third finger, and you moaned louder "You're so beautiful, you know that? You deserve it, so take it... Let it go, baby. I'm holding you."

"Joel..." you whispered.

Fuck! 

He already knew he'd never forget how his name sounded in your mouth when you reached your peak. But he had to help you. 

His fingers hit into you harder and faster, you found his lips and pressed yourself against them the moment it happened. Your body quivered hard, and Joel felt your walls almost swallow his fingers. You hid your face in his neck, moaning quietly and trying to catch your breath.

"God, if you only knew how beautiful you are when you cum..."

He didn't expect that he actually said those words, but he had to, because you stroked his cheek tenderly.

"Fuck, Joel..." you lifted your head and looked at him with such a dreamy gaze that he got lost in your eyes "You have talented hands."

You both burst out laughing. He leaned down and kissed you, this time much more gently, with tenderness.

"Maybe..." you started as his hand stroked your thigh. "Maybe we can go to my place and see how many more talents you have inside you, huh? The night is still young."

"Do you want that? I don't want you to think that..."

Suddenly your hand slid over his bulge and Joel closed his eyes at the friction.

"We both want that, don't we?"

Another kiss before the car engine started and you headed towards your house. It felt good. He had his hand on your thigh, smelled your scent on himself, your kisses still so fresh on his lips. He knew he was imagining too much, but he thought he could get used to it. To you in his life, so fully.

However, when you stopped in front of your house something changed.

"What the hell?" you hissed, leaning out and looking at the car standing by the curb.

"What’s wrong?"

"It's Jack's car." you mumbled, and when Joel parked you quickly got out.

At the same moment a man got out of the other car, the bouquet of roses in his hands looked impressive. Joel felt something heavy drop to his stomach.

Jack approached you, noticed Joel in the car and nodded to greet him, and then started to say something. Joel didn't hear him, but he saw how you wrap your arms around yourself, clearly surprised and tense. You looked in his direction a few times like a scared animal, until finally Joel was the one who made the decision.

He started the car and drove home, leaving you with Jack and the bouquet of roses.

[part 2]

☆☆☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

[russellsppttemplates]

My person (Charles Leclerc)

Your brother's best friend is sure you were made for eachother

Note: english is not my first language. Most times I read a brother's best friend trope, it's usually the reader going after the boy, so I felt like doing things a little bit different (also, my brain got a bit jumbled because I was wondering about the perspective, and in the end I went with reader being Joris' twin). Also, I always feel a little bit of impostor's syndrome whenever I post these tropes for which I've read many great pieces about it, and I never know if my ones are good enough to be posted but we're going with it

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

Most people thought having a twin brother was bitter sweet because while you had to share everything since the womb, you had a brother so there came a time where you wanted to have different toys, different rooms and different styles.

Different friends, however, was never a question. Even with different interests, you and Joris often came as a duo, so both of your friend groups were pretty close.

"We're going to Charles' apartment to watch the football game, are you joining us?", Joris asked, throwing himself on your sofa and partially occupying your personal space, "Marta is going to be over and I think she's taking Chiara with her, too".

You don't remember a time where Charles wasn't in your life. Your brother knew him since they were in kindergarten and so there wasn't a memory where he wasn't involved. Which brought you to the last time you were with him, just a week before.

Charles spent the afternoon with Joris at your brother's apartment, wanting to relax and game for the rest of the day.

"It's Y/N", Charles said as he gave Joris his ringing phone, your caller ID prompting him to pick the calk up right away, "can you come and get me, please?", he heard you faintly as Joris got up straight away, listening to whatever you were telling as he put on his trainers and jacket.

"Y/N needs me to pick her up from the café - turns out her date thought she wouldn't mind going home on her own", Joris rolled his eyes, "it will be quick, you're good on your own here?", he checked with Charles, "sure", the driver assured, unpausing the game and carrying on.

Another date and another disappointment for you, Charles thought. While you weren't as close as his brother was to him, he still knew about your life as much as your other friends, and lately you had been looking for someone, your person, you claimed. Luck had yet to join your search as every date you went on seemed to go between bad and awful.

If he had the courage to come clean about his feelings, maybe things would be different. For a while, yes, you were Joris' twin sister and that was it. You were a cool girl and he didn't mind spending time with you or having your hang out with their group, but things changed when you went to university.

Maybe it was your glow up, although you never needed one to catch his eye in the first place, but year after year, you grew to exude confidence, your natural beauty enhanced as you turned into a charming, caring and kind young woman.

Since he didn't want to ruin the bond you had, he watched it all happen from the sidelines. How happy you sounded whenever you had a date later in the week, whenever a cute guy came up to you in the club and how you squealed "I think this one might be the one!" as you excused yourself and declined dinner invitations from the group for a date.

He heard the door open and then close, footsteps approaching the living room as he paused the game just in time for you to sit on the sofa, "what's up, Leclerc?", you nudged his shoulder.

"I'm good, how are you?", he quesioned, "I guess that one isn't the love of your life either?", he semi joked.

"He was certifiable, at the very least", you began as the boys chuckled, "Hey! I'm qualified to make such appreciation! He kept talking about himself and he was borderline sexist, but then he said I would be fine going home on my own? I don't know, it was a mess and I can't believe I even experienced that - I'm going to pretend it was a fever dream", you shrugged your shoulders, "I was expecting to spend the afternoon with him - thank Goodness I didn't, - and the construction work at my place is still going so I don't have anywhere to go, I'm sorry if I'm crashing your afternoon", you gulped.

"It's fine, it's nice having company other than us two playing and screaming at eachother", Charles smiled as Joris shrugged his shoulders, "you're already staying her until the building work is done", you brother offered.

"I wasn't asking you, silly; you're my twin, dealing with me it's something that comes with the job", you winked.

When it came to dinner time, the three of you decided to have take out, your brother calling the restaurant and scheduling a time for him to pick it up, "I'm going to shower", you said as you got up from the sofa, heading to the guest room you were staying in.

By the time you got out, your heard Joris shout that he was leaving while you put on some comfy clothes for the evening in. When you went to the balcony so your towels could air dry for a bit, you sat in the padded chair, looking out to the sunset.

He would come, you thought. It wasn't particularly a manifestation or a "throw it at the universe" kind of thing, but rather something to reassure yourself. You were worthy of the standards you set for yourself and there was someone out there for you, and he would come.

"Hey", Charles stepped into the balcony, coming to sit in the chair next to yours, "a cent for your thoughts?", he smiled softly, the warm yellow and orange light hitting his eyes in a glowy hue.

"Do you believe that the right person for you is out there?", you shot softly.

"I know she is", Charles gulped, "Oh, confident!", you giggled softly, "but it's nice, better than being sulky like me".

"I'm not sure how much better it is. I know she is out there, but it's a little more complicated than just going up to her and tell her that", he played with hia thumbs.

"So you're chickening out?", you quirked your eyebrow, partly teasing him but genuinely curious about it. You didn't have enough fingers to count how many girls tried to approach you and befriend you with the only goal of getting into a friendship circle that would lead them to Charles, and he could probably chat up anyone he wanted, so it was hard for you to understand how he didn't have the love of his life with him yet.

"It's not chickening out if you think it might cause some issues with your friends, I think. I'm being prudent, that's all", Charles tried, wanting to take the opportunity to try and see where you stood. Girls were usually sharper than guys, so you said many times, maybe you'd take the hint.

"If I knew who the love of my life was, I would go to him and never look back. I know it sounds silly, but I wouldn't want to be away from him a second longer, it would be quite shitty if he was in a relationship", you mused, "but if we were really meant to be together - if it was a both ways kind of thing - he would know it, right? Goodness, sound a bit like a romantic sop, don't I?", you chuckled, "but I would fight for him, for us".

Charles felt inspired before he felt a little angry. Here you here saying you would fight until you found your person when he was right there. If it really worked as a both ways thing, you'd have to know and feel the person you kept looking for was him. He broke into a full belly laugh as he stated at you. No make-up, hair sitting in its natural wave and comfy clothes, you never looked so beautiful to him.

"Would you let me fight for us, too?", he mused quietly but loud enough for you to hear, "would you want me to do that?".

Giggling at him, you could only shake your head at his words, "I know this sound silly - Joris teases me enough about it enough", you groaned as your hands covered your face.

"I'm not joking or teasing", Charles clarified, turning to face you on the chair, "All I want is for you to look at me the way you look at them", Charles stated, "whenever you talk about your dates before you go on them, you're so hopeful that that guy will be the one, you look forward to it like it will be that time, and you never looked at me that way when I constantly make efforts to hung the stars and the moon for you and stand there hoping they get to you".

His confession took you off guard. Charles just admitted he liked you, in a way with words that was more elaborate than what any of your dates had ever told you combined.

"I thought you were being nice?! Was this some sort of plan?!", you quesioned immediately. He had been around you your whole life, you surely would've noticed it, wouldn't you?

Charles chuckled in a way you found a smidge belittling, "it wasn't a plan! Y/N, I have not been planning this or doing some strategy, it just happened out of nowhere!", Charles bit back, "like you said, the person for me is out there and she's you!".

The noise from the door pulled both of you out your discussion, your brother's singalong voice announcing he was back with the food.

Dusting your sweatpants, you stepped back inside the living room, shaking off the jitters you had as your brother scrunched up his face, "is everything okay?", he asked.

"Of course, I'm just hungry and you drove like a grandpa here", you bickered back as Charles joined you at the table, "I'll get the cutlery and plates from the kitchen", you mumbled.

The dinner was eaten quietly on your side, Charles and Joris making most of the conversation as you exchanged a few looks with the Formula One driver, your twin brother seemingly obvious as he carried on as usual, "I'm going to bed", you said after helping tidy, "are you sure? We were going to watch something on TV?", Joris asked you.

"I'm getting a headache, so I'll pass, good night boys", you gave them tight lipped smile.

In the bedroom, you changed into your pyjamas and finished your night-time routine and got under the sheets, Charles' words replaying as you looked at the ceiling.

"Y/N? Are you joining us or not? Do you have any plans?", Joris insisted, "you've been weird lately", he pointed out.

"I'll join you, yes, just need to get my hoodie and then I'll be good to go", you scrambled out as your heart beat faster inside your chest.

Joris offered to drive to Charles' apartment, getting there when Riccardo, Marta and little Chiara were alresdy inside with Charles.

"The rest of the group couldn't come, so it's just us", Riccardo said as he noticed your expression, "what a shame, more food for us!", you smirked, sitting next to Marta and playing with the little girl on her lap, "hello, my love, hello!", you cooed in the voice you only had for babies, "look at you so grown up! You get more beautiful everytime I see you", you smiled, tickling her chin softly as she giggled loudly.

"Who did the roast potatoes last time we got together?", Joris stepped back into the living room, "I did", you stated as you grabbed one of the toys on the coffee table, ready to sit down on the floor so you and Chiara could play together.

"Don't sit down!", your brother yelled, "sorry, but you can't sit down - Charles needs help with the potatoes and he doesn't know the recipe like you do", he reasoned as you got up, trying not to show how much you didn't want to be in the same room alone with Charles. Watching football while having dinner with your group of friends was one thing, spending one on one time with Charles after what he said to you the last time was another.

"Hey", you said as you stepped into the kitchen, "Joris said you needed help, what can I do?".

Charles smiled a little, maybe at the irony of your quesion, "I don't know what seasonings to use in these", he said as he showed you the vegetable with the ones he already cut up.

"Okay, do you keep the spices in the same place?", you asked as he nodded, encouraging you to use his kitchen like it was your own.

Opening the cabinets and grabbing what you needed, you started mixing the ingredients and cutting up the ones you needed to, "can you get me the olive oil, please? I can't reach it", you asked and Charles complied, "thank you".

"Is this how this is going to be? Interacting like we haven't known eachother since we were little and like I haven't poured my heart out to you?", Charles said, arms crossed as he rested against the kitchen counter.

"I wasn't counting on you saying all of that, I was so caught off guard that I haven't been able to think about anything else in my off time!", you offered, setting the knife down on the chopping board.

"It's not like people have speeches ready and give of warnings when they're about to confess their feelings for someone... I myself wasn't expecting to do it until the words came out of my mouth", Charles gestured as if he was vomiting, "what do you expect it to be like anyway? People have to warn you they have feelings for you and ask if you want to hear it?! Is that what you want?".

"I want to feel loved, appreciated and valued. I want to be with someone that reminds me that I'm beautiful, that I'm smart and I'm wonderful. I want to share my life with someone who has no trouble with me wanting to have both career goals and family goals, I want someone who supports me as much as a support him, who is willing to do silly things because I enjoy them and who loves me for me, flaws and all", you let out in one go, "That's what I want".

Charles eyebrows climbed on his forehead, "Are you insinuating I can't give you that? Is that why we haven't spoken since that evening at Joris' place?".

"I'm saying you're my brother's best friend, and no matter how much I think you can do it - because you make me feel like that just from being my friend, imagine if we were dating -, I don't want to risk whatever we have, all of us", you gestured to the living room where the rest of the group was.

"Y/N", Charles pleaded, "you don't think I've thought about that? I didn't do it on a whim like you think I did, I've been sitting on this for quite a while, actually", he clarified, "I will respect whatever you decide, okay? But can't just sit and pretend that you don't want this thing between you and me as much as I do, because we could be so good-", he was interrupted as Marta crossed the corner and stepped inside the kitchen, "Charles, can I heat Chiara's soup on the microwave?", she asked with the small tupperware on her hands.

"Sure, here", he guided her as you resumed to seasoning the potatoes, putting them on the tray and then in the oven, "the game is about to start, hurry up!", Joris yelled.

"I'll just wash this, and that too", you took the tupperware's lid as well as the utensils you needed for the dressing.

"I need to cool it down a little, maybe in a bigger bowl", Marta said as Charles helped in getting the bowl from the cupboard as you set the utensils aside to dry, "Merci, Charles, off we go then", she said as she waited for you both to leave and go to the living room so she could follow you.

"Come here, sweet cheeks", you clapped at Chiara, taking her away from your brother's arms and putting her in the highchair so she could eat comfortably, "auntie Y/N is going to give you your delicious soup, yummy yummy", you smiled.

Charles couldn't help but take in the sight, how you made Chiara feel like she was the only person in the world as you smiled and spoke to her, finding a million and one ways to get her to eat the soup in the bowl.

The food was ready by the half-time break, so you all helped with bringing the food to the table, eating it as the team you were supporting ended up winning the game.

"She's knocked out", you pointed out to Riccardo, Chiara asleep in the little makeshift cot you made on the sofa with some pillows and blankets to make sure she was warm and secure.

"We can clean up, you guys go home and take this little princess to sleep in her own bed", Charles smiled, stroking the little girl's cheek softly as he watched her peaceful expression.

"You don't mind?", Marta wondered as the three of you nodded, helping the parents gather their daughter's belongings so they could leave, hoping she wouldn't wake up and make it harder for her to fall back asleep.

"Sweet dreams, petite fleur", you cooed as Marta cuddled Chiara into her chest, squeezing her small hand softly before they walked out of the door.

"These need to go on the dishwasher", you sorted through the plates and checked if they were safe to go on the machine as your brother help you.

"We should probably get going", Joris said, not wanting to overstay your welcome, "do you need anything else, Charles? Otherwise, me and Y/N will leave you to it", he said.

"Actually, me and Charles need to talk, if that's okay", you looked at the driver, catching him by surprise before he nodded in agreement.

Joris didn't dwell too much on it like you thought he would, "so you need me to come and pick you up or...?", he trailed before Charles saved you, "don't worry, I've got her", he stated.

When Charles accompanied your twin brother to the door, he was blunt and honest, "She's my sister, but there could be worse guys than you", Joris offered as Charles narrowed his eyes, "Oh, please, do you think I'm that blind? I've seen the way you look at her and how you always go above and beyond for her - she's just being too stubborn about it to see it, too. Still, if you ever break her heart or cause her any tears of sadness and anger, you're going to wish I didn't know so much about you", he threatened, although it didn't go as planned as they both laughed, "I trust you, there wasn't anyone I would trust like this", he sighed, "you're just lucky you have brothers, otherwise I might've taken revenge on you", he nudged his shoulder.

"I bet Lorenzo would enjoy a cuddle every now and again if you'd like", Charles giggled before he showed his seriousness again, "I just want this to work out between us, I think she's my person, you know?", he mused, realising how cliché and whipped he sounded, "I'll take care of her, you don't need to worry", he assured.

Charles closed the door and walked back to the living room where you sat down on the sofa, legs covered with one of the blankets, "I- thank you for staying back", he smiled, pointing with his eyes to the spot next to you silently asking if he could sit.

You opened the blanket so he could sit next to you and you could both keep warm, "I want to apoligise for not saying anything the last time we spoke, and for how I've handled this", you began, "I'm sorry, Charles", you said earnestly.

"Apology accepted", he nodded, "and did you just stay here to apoligise?", he quesioned.

"I- I thought we could have a date, sort of anyway", you mumbled, "and I could also tell you how I feel about you since it seems I owe you that with what you've told me", you looked into his eyes, "it wasn't that you were ever off bounds or anything like that, I never cared for those supposed rules, but it never occurred to me", you blurted and Charles quirked a brow, "shoot, that's not what I meant, ugh", you grunted as he soothingly rubbed your thigh, "what I meant is I always thought you'd never look at me that way - I'm Joris' twin - so I just took all of the affection I had for you and put it in a friendship feelings and all of the things you did for me, I thought you were just being nice because you're a nice guy", you clarified.

"Does this mean you're letting me treat you like you deserve? Because I plan on making sure you feel and know you're wonderful every single day", he smiled charmingly, confident words contrasting with his shy attempt of lacing your fingers together on his lap.

"How can you be so sure we are eachother's person?", you couldn't help but mumble, even if the butterflies in your stomach were dancing like they hadn't been in a long time, "I just know, and I'll help you see it, too", he smiled, kissing your knuckles before he pulled you to his chest, finding something to watch on the TV.

You both watched reruns of one of your favourite shows, pointing out little details you loved and talking about any topic that came to mind, and once Charles' body warmth and his touches along your arm caught up to your system and lulled you to sleep, your head finding it's spot on his chest as he smiled down at you, your beauty never ceasing to amaze him as he noticed every mole, freckle and scar on your face from up close.

Even if he didn't want to move, and that it wouldn't be the first time he slept on his sofa, he reasoned that he should at least offer you his bed. Softly stroking your cheek, he coaxed you to wake up, "I'm sorry for waking you up, but we can't sleep here", he whispered, kissing the side of your head, "you can sleep in my bed, I'll take the sofa", he offered as you stretched a little bit, removing yourself from his chest.

"If you promise you won't do any funny business, we can sleep in the same bed", you yawned.

"Of course I won't, Y/N! I would never do anything you didn't want to, I-", Charles panicked, not wanting you to think he was trying to take advantage of you.

"I'm only kidding, I know you won't", you assured, arms pulling him to stand up with you as you walked to the bedroom after turning everything off, "I trust you, Charles, completely", you smiled.

To him, it meant the world.

You felt his heart race when your hand landed on his chest, "I need a t-shirt, though, this is not comfy to sleep in", you reasoned as he looked for one on his drawers, "here, you can get ready here while I get ready in the bathroom", he smiled, kissing the top of your head before he stepped inside the ensuite.

After you swapped so you could brush your teeth, you were both undoing the bed, pulling the sheets back over you and having eachother.

"I really want to kiss you right now, but I don't want to cross any boundaries", Charles admitted as your heart raced in your chest, "I'd really like that, you can kiss me if you want", you consented.

Charles leaned to rub your nose in his before kissing your lips softly, allowing you both to revel in the feelings that had been put in labelled boxes at the back of your minds.

Parting your lips to breathe, you cupped Charles' cheek, your palm tickling from his facial hair as your thumb rubbed his skin, "I think you might be right", you mumbled, licking your lips, "about what?", he mused, "about the fact that you'll help me see it too", you smiled.

The next morning, you woke up with Charles looking at you, "Good morning, Y/N", he greeted, "See? I didn't pull any funny business", he wiggled his brows chuckling.

This was a sight you could get used to.

"Good morning", you smiled, "did you sleep well?", you wondered, pulling closer to him now that you were awake.

"I did, did you?", he asked and you nodded, cuddling closer to him and basking in the feeling of just being there.

"We are going to take this as slow as you want", Charles whispered against your forehead, leaving little kisses and pecks on your skin, "but I want you to know I'm all in".

"I'm all in, too", you whispered, "I can't promise you it will be a straight line - or that I won't spiral out every now and again because hey, it's me -, but I feel really good about this, you make me feel really good", you blushed as you kissed between his eyebrows, "having said this, not all of us have the day to do some training and sim racing, and I'm one of them. I have to go home to change and then head to the clinic", you pouted slightly.

"How about I make us some breakfast first, then I'll drop you off?", he suggested, stealing a peck from your lips, "hmm, sounds good", you hummed.

.

"Were you expecting us to be surprised?", Marta said as she and her family arrived in Charles' yacht, the three of them seeing you and Charles kissing at the table.

Throwing your head back in laughter as Charles walked up to help them inside, you shielded your eyes from the sun with your hand, "at least pretend you are", you joked.

"Oh my Goodness, I never thought you two would become a thing? Does this mean we can finally stop hearing your disgraced love life stories and Charles' complaints about who you went on a date with?", Riccardo belted out, catching the attention from a couple on the yacht next to the one you were sitting on.

"To be fair, that's how I noticed it", Marta began, "Charles didn't complain anymore about how he was alone and that the universe wasn't working on his favour", she smirked, greeting you two.

"We have been keeping it down low just to see how things would go", you blushed at getting caught and steering the conversation elsewhere once Chiara babbled at you, "Oh, baby girl, hello!", you cooed, pulling her into your arms.

"Soon enough you can get one of those, I bet your kid would be very very cute", Riccardo nudged Charles' shoulder, loving that the group now could have a few teasing moments and themes at your expense, all in good fun.

"What a warm welcome!", you heard your brother yell, a fake angry and ironic tone noticeable in his voice, "First, no one is here to greet me with a glass of something to drink or even a helping hand to step in", Joris clarified, "then I'm presented with a conversation about my sister's and my best friends sex life, which I don't want to know about by the way!!", he said as he came up to you, kissing the side of your head, "I'm happy she's happy, and that you're all happy together, but no talking about that, please!".

[dilfluvrr10]

Joost x music journalist!reader where joost invites them for a show and they thinks its for work but actually he did it bc he likes them 🤭

Guysss I just wrote thisss. This is my first fanfiction I've ever written, pls pls pls feel free to send through any feedback good and bad. I really hope I managed to satisfy your request. Thank you <3

Lmk if you're interested in a Part 2

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮ The Interview ╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

I looked through my closet unsure of what to wear, do I go concert or casual tonight? This was going to be huge for my career, interviewing THE Joost Klein, so of course I was stressing over every detail. I settled on a classic little black dress, nothing too much, enough to make a good first impression. I glanced at the time repeatedly while doing my makeup, the closer it crept to 7:00pm, the more anxiety started eating at me. I packed my bag and drove to the venue, practicing each and every question, my facial expressions, my laugh, my smile, every detail. I admit, Joost was an attractive man, a confident man, and a great musician, maybe that’s why I was so worked up. That’s definitely why I was so worked up. I’d been following Joost’s career before his stardom reached an all time high after Eurovision, I had to remind myself to keep my composure and leave any fangirling behind.

When I received the invitation I was absolutely thrilled, jumping up and down like I was a teenage girl again. However, it was different from the usual press releases I’ve received, addressed to me specifically instead of my publication. Despite my usual professional demeanour, I couldn’t help but feel a flutter of excitement. When I finally arrived at the venue my anticipation only intensified. I glanced in the rear view mirror one last time, ensuring every hair was in place, took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. I had been instructed to enter through the same way production entered and meet Joost in the green room before he was expected on stage. Backstage was buzzing, ensuring everything for tonight’s performance was perfect. I navigated through the organized chaos, my heart pounding with each step closer to the green room.

There he was sitting around a table laughing and joking with his friends in Dutch. “Heyyy you’re here! I’m so happy you came”, his signature smile plastered on his face causing one of my own in response. He told his friends we were doing an interview and to so kindly leave, each one greeting me with that European charm before exiting the room. He gestured for me to sit down where comfortable. He sat loosely on the couch, adorned in black jeans, a white button up paired with a black tie and his signature thick rimmed glasses and gloves to tie it all together. God black was his colour. His cuffs rolled up, revealing a scatter of tattoos on his forearms and biceps. I sat on the chair closest to him but not on the couch next to him, trying to keep it as professional as possible. I really wanted to squeal, ask him for a photo and tell him all about how much his music resonated with me.

“Thank you so much for the invitation, I really appreciate this Joost”, my nerves slipped away as we began talking, his energy warm and inviting. “No, no, I’ve wanted to meet you for a while now actually…” his words hung in the air, his eyes darted around my face as if he was unsure how I would react. “Really, you know me?” I was stunned by the idea of Joost being aware of my work. A soft smile played at the corners of his lips as he nodded. “You’re works amazing, you have this way of talking to people that just…opens them up, you know?”, the sincerity of his words hit me hard. My heart fluttered and I felt my professionalism slowly decay. He shifted in his seat adjusting his pants and clearing his throat. He was feeling the change of mood too. As I thought of something to say to change the subject I noticed his gaze kept falling to my lap. My dress had lifted a bit, my thighs exposed a little. I began to feel hot and bothered, my cheeks burning red, his subtle smirk didn’t escape my notice, only adding to my discomfort. He clocked on to my embarrassment, shamefully, it fed him with confidence. “I used to watch your videos on YouTube, when you were working independently. Seeing you now here in front of me…you’ve really, grown up” he cooed with a meaning I couldn’t quite grasp. I cleared my throat, trying to shake off the rush of heat that grew in my body. “Thank you Joost, that means a lot coming from you,” I replied, hoping to steer the conversation back to professional grounds. “So, how are you feeling about tonight’s concert? Any pre-show rituals?”

He chuckled, the sound sultry and pleasant. “Just hanging out with my friends, like you saw. We try to keep it light and fun. Music is about connecting with people, so I try to keep that spirit alive before I go on stage.” I nodded, jotting down notes even though I recorded interviews on my phone. It was more to keep my hands busy and give me something to focus on other than his heavy gaze. Our conversation flowed easily after that, and the interview wrapped up nicely. He stood up, offering his hand to help me up from the chair. His touch was warm, lingering just a moment longer than necessary. “I’m glad we finally got to meet,” his eyes held mine for a heartbeat longer before he glanced away, a hint of shyness creeping into his demeanour.

Just then, one of his crew members popped their head into the room, announcing that it was time for Joost to get ready. He turned to me, his smile back in full force. “Enjoy the show. I’ll make sure you have a great view.”

I smiled back, my heart fluttering again. “I’m sure I will.”

[gatorbites-imagines]

Urggg I’ve been submitting this ask to multiple blogs for ages with different characters lol. How about the reader faking an orgasm with superboy or green lantern. Is it weird that I find how writers handle that prompt interesting? And when they take the route of the characters telling them to cut that shit out and doubling their efforts it makes me laugh.

Hal Jordan and Conner Kent/Kon-el

Headcanons

Since you didn’t specify which Green Lantern, I chose Hal since I love him very much. Individual headcanons for each won’t be as long as usual, since I wanted to write both.

couldnt find a good gif related to these too, so,,,

Hal Jordan

I think it depends on your guy’s relationship. If you two are a couple who’s been together for a while, Hal would notice one way or another. As a green lantern, Hal has gotten pretty damn good at reading body language, so he clocks you faking after a while.

I can see him huffing and sighing, not out of anger or anything, mainly just for show, before he hikes you into his lap or closer to him as he makes some comment about him not doing it good enough.

Hal would take it as a challenge, as long as you are into it of course. Don’t think you get out of talking about it, because you will. It becomes a bit annoying as pillow talk, but Hal wants feedback and wants to know how you’re doing.

He might even pull this in the middle of doing it, like making you look in his eyes to make you confirm that you’re good. When he gets the confirmation though, Hal doesn’t hold back. Since you felt the need to fake it, Hal feels the need to wring as many out of you as possible, just as payback, or so he says.

It’s no shocker that he’s great with his hands, and that the ring joins the fray at some point. Its just always so fun to catch you off guard with one of his projections, only to make you arch your back and moan about it five seconds after.

It ends up being a bit of an ego boost for Hal, but what else is new.

Conner Kent

I feel like Conner would clock it immediately. Having super senses gives him that advantage. Like hearing your heart does not stutter the same way as it normally does when you orgasm, or that he can’t immediately pick up the scent of your spend.

Depending on how far you guys are in your relationship, Conner would stop and ask. If it’s the very beginning of you two dating, he might not say anything, instead internalizing it and telling himself to try harder next time.

But if you guys are comfortable, Conner would just stop thrusting and look at you before asking if it doesn’t feel good and if you’re not up for it.

Conner would feel so bad if you felt like you had to sleep with him, which is why he asks and needs to know. And he’s always liked performing to the best of his abilities, so if he’s doing something you don’t like, he wants to know that too.

If its just one of those situations where you just… cant finish, then he wont feel bad about it either, though there’s a big chance he won’t want to keep going. Most of the fun is that you feel good, so you not enjoying it as much as he is takes the wind out his sails.

If its something he’s doing wrong, like not hitting the right place or grabbing you too tight, whatever, Conner will immediately take it as a challenge to make you see stars one way or another. His secret, not so secret weapon, is giving head, since he has no gag reflex, a very flexible tongue, and can hold his breath for probably hours if he wanted too.

[ferrstappen]

unscheduled school visit l Max Verstappen

a/n: hello! i got this quick idea while working on some requests/school work. hope you like it and pls pls feel free to leave feedback <3 it really motivates me <3

pairing: dad!Max Verstappen x female reader.

summary: the twins' teacher calls, the twins got in trouble. Max is in disbelief.

Max was a strict parent. 

Not in the way people may think, and not in the least similar to how his dad was with him, but Max always was concerned on how the twins were doing in school, only in first grade, but still. He was always working on instilling discipline and hard work to Luca and Mila, so in the future they can be whatever the hell they want to be. Max knew money was never going to be an issue, so it was up to them to take all the opportunities that meant.

He always tried to take them to museums when they joined races, often tried to switch languages, even encouraging other drivers and people in the grid who interacted with the kids to speak in their different languages. 

It was always fun to watch Charles speaking to Luca in French or Italian as Luca slowly tried to come up with an answer and was always met with a high five, or Mila asking Checo why Carlos had a different accent. 

The smile never disappeared from your face when you get home from running an errand or attending a meeting that couldn’t be held on Zoom, to Luca and Mila chatting about what they learned on school today or silently doing their homework on the family room while Max watched them, himself also getting some things in the meantime.

The point is the twins were smart, both you and Max putting all your efforts to gently and effectively find what they like, what they don’t. 

You know your kids. Both of you would put your hands on fire because of them. You trusted them because Max and you were raising them good and the twins were great beyond words could explain. 

So when you receive a call from school telling you to come over, you quickly reached Max who was on the sim, driving through Imola with his eyes closed. 

“Babe, school called and we have to go,” As soon as you announced the news Max turned around, seat and steering wheel lightly shaking. 

“What do you mean? What happened?” Max was instantly on his feet.

“I don’t know, Max. Their teacher called,” You told your husband as his eyes opened widely. 

“Their? Is it both of them?” Max was in complete disbelief of what he was hearing.

“It appears so. I’ll cancel a meeting and we go.”

You didn’t leave him alone for thirty seconds, you swear, but when you came back Max was on the phone, asking the teacher to put Mila on the phone. 

He knew his daughter too well. She was outspoken, assertive, didn’t think twice. Luca was more cautious, wise and maybe a little timid. 

“Pap, he was trying to pull Luca’s hair and stealing his crayons, and Luca was letting him because he didn’t want to cause any trouble!” an agitated Mila informed Max, speaking a broken dutch. 

“Are you okay?” Max calmly asked his frantic daughter. He knew she was disquieted, trying to sound more sure of herself than she actually was. 

“Yes,” she said in dutch, but in the back her teacher told her in a sweet voice to speak in a language they could all understand. 

“Okay baby girl, mama and I are on our way, see you in a bit,”

During the drive to La Condamine to reach the International School of Monaco, you discovered a side of your husband you had yet to see. It was fun. 

“She is not apologizing!” Max told you, eyes not leaving the narrow road.

“Max, she pulled the kid’s hair,” You reminded your husband, who softly shook his head in disagreement. 

“Yes, because the idiot kid was bothering Luca and pulled his hair! If anything that kid should be apologizing to Luca, his sister just defended him!” His lisp was more prominent as you reached the parking lot overlooking the several yachts.

Max noticed the other child’s parents already walking inside the school, there weren’t many students in the Early Years building. He pressed the gas harder than necessary, making the engine of the family Aston Martin roar like they were in the paddock. 

Your eyes rolled at his antics, but still it made your insides feel giddy at the thought of your husband being protective and loving. 

Luca’s arms were wrapped around you as soon as you walked inside. Kneeling to reach his height, your heart broke at the sight of his disheveled hair and wet cheeks, his beautiful eyes red. Luca tried to not sniff and stop the tears, trying to be brave when he felt your hands on his cheeks and kissing his forehead, asking if he was okay. 

At the same time, Max sat next to Mila whose eyes didn’t leave the other kid’s sight, whom you learned his name was Oliver. Max knew his daughter wanted to shed a tear, but didn’t let it show, so he just gave her a reassuring look before listening to the teacher who had the three of them in charge.

Curtly shaking hands with Oliver’s parents, Max politely ignoring the poor attempt of one of “the idiot kid’s” dad to start a conversation, obviously starstruck by your husband the World Champion. 

Yes, it was Monaco and everyone knew each other, and it didn’t take a genius to deduce the two Verstappen named kids on the class were the children of the Max Verstappen, but he was often away and it was mostly you who attended parent-related stuff, but now there was the chance to have a conversation directly with him. 

Oh well. 

The four got inside the car, Max adjusting the seats before getting in the driver seat. Mila and Luca loudly sighed, knowing what followed.

“I don’t know how to address this. I’m moved and proud that you look out and defend each other, but M, baby, pulling someone else’s hair is not the way,” you softly told your daughter. “and Luca, honey, I know it’s hard but when someone invades your space and is rude, but you can tell the teacher before it makes you feel bad and leads to this,” 

Max’s eyes followed the twins movements through the rearview mirror as you talked to them, soon reaching your home. You grabbed the backpacks and Max helped the twins get out of the car.

He reached Luca’s door first. When he was out, he left a kiss on his forehead and ruffled his hair, softly reminding his carbon copy that he was a little lion, still with lots to learn, but no one ever could make him feel like this. 

Then he reached Mila’s door. Her eyes now were a bit glossy, but he knew she was just like him, Mila would never show weakness. He reminded her that she can take some weight off, let her guard down with her parents before kissing her hair. 

You watched the scene unfold from afar, not knowing what he told them, but sure they were the right words.

Then giggles reached your ears, eyes immediately rolling. 

He was fist bumping Mila, giving her a nod of approval.

For God’s sake, this wouldn’t be the first time you’re called to school, that’s for sure.

[autistic-ben-tennyson]

Ben and Gwen: lonely kid and gifted child

I’ve thought a lot about these two and their family dynamic. Both are relatable to me but in different ways. Like Gwen, I’ve always been the “mature” one who was good at school and loved by the adults in my life, but I also don’t have any friends and have a desire for fame and attention like Ben. At first glance, they seem to have little to complain about, being white kids with stable homes and two parents, compared to someone like Kevin, but there’s more to a character than just the surface and I think both have a lot of emotional issues relating to their self worth.

With Gwen, we get glimpses into her life and how everyone views her as perfect. Sunny envied how she was adored by her parents and Verdona and Gwen wished her mother would stop thinking of her as the “good influence”. All the adults in her family loved her and expected her to be the role model for the other kids which is a double edged sword. Yes you get praise and love but also pressure and high expectations. You’re expected to babysit the other kids and often have to bury your true feelings to please everyone and people will envy the love you get. And that love is often conditional and based around living up to their standards, remember how Natalie told her “normal people don’t glow” and how she doesn’t like her daughter or nephew using their powers around her.

As a kid, she was constantly doing extracurriculars like cotillion and judo before earning a scholarship to go to college early in Omniverse. We got a glimpse into her daily life in “It’s not Easy Being Gwen” where everyone expects her to fulfill certain obligations. Gwen seems like a child prodigy who feels she has to be the best and is always filling her schedule with activities and is always trying to get into the top schools. I think that’s why she fell for Kevin. He was the only one who loved her without putting her on a pedestal or because she’s family. The only person she could be herself around and doesn’t force her to act like a perfectionist. People complain about her outfit change in OV and I agree with some of the criticisms, but with all the pressure in her life, I get why she would want a change from the expectations in her life.

Ben strikes me as someone with a deep inferiority complex. It’s implied that he’s a bit of a loner who doesn’t have many friends with JT ditching him for Cash. He did get along better with Sunny which makes me wonder if he can relate to being in Gwen’s shadow. Fans talk about how great Carl and Sandra are as parents and while they are nice people, their free range approach can seem negligent. They only seemed concerned about Ben’s heroics once they witnessed it. By that time, Ben had been on late night road trips with Kevin, who punched holes in their doors, for weeks and didn’t even come home one night in “Save the Last Dance”. Ben may have acted the way he did in the OS as a cry for help as he feels neglected and the favoritism everyone has towards Gwen may rub off on him. It reminds me a bit of how Steven from SU acted the way he did in the early episodes because he was constantly being left alone without the gems or Greg while being compared to Rose. Kids who don’t have friends nor get much attention while living in a family member’s shadow can and do develop inferiority complexes.

Ben’s desire for fame seems to stem from wanting to be loved and wanting to feel special. He becomes so full of himself because people finally love him as opposed to viewing him as some average kid. Fans have dismissed the bullying he faced as cliche or unnecessary but it adds to his character. A lonely, bullied kid who’s in the shadow of his overachieving cousin will want something that makes him feel special, like the Omnitrix. Ben has to learn throughout the 4 shows that he is the hero, not the watch. I think that’s why he loved using transformations like Four-arms, Humungousaur and Feedback so much even if they were inadequate for the situation as they made him feel confident. The way he fights is reminiscent of standing up to a bully too, picking an intimidating form, offering a chance to back off and then doing what he can to stop the threat. It’s easy to write him off as just a spoiled brat or narcissistic but I think 1, that’s ableist and 2, is a rather shallow way of looking at his character. While he can be insufferable at times, is it wrong to want acknowledgement or praise when there’s people like Will Harangue or the Rooters who hate you just for existing? I think he deserves a break from fans who hate him and he acts a lot better than most kids would in his situation. Compare him to Shinji Ikari from Evangelion, who I also love as a character, who would break down after seeing what Ben has to deal with every day.

I think both may envy each other at times. Gwen has been shown to be jealous of Ben getting all the glory as well as how Ben was given a car by her boyfriend despite her parents being wealthier. Like Sunny, Ben may have viewed Gwen as a stuck-up overachiever who got all the respect from their parents. That was until they bonded and became friends in the OS but it occasionally came back like when Ben lashed out at her for telling him he couldn’t use Feedback, believing she was trying to take the only thing he had. Because they have it easier than Kevin, it’s easy to expect them to just get over it but I think both Tennyson cousins need a lot of therapy and need to talk about their issues with each other. Both characters mean a lot to me and remind me of my own struggles.

[evolnoomym]

Bigger than the whole sky 🌌

Dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader

Pt.2🌠 | Main Masterlist | Joel Miller Masterlist

Summary: You meet Joel and well of course you fall for each other. It’s a bit bumpy since he’s your Dads best friend. But things seem to work out until they don’t anymore. One event changes everything.

Rating: 18+ mature content mdni!!!!

Word count: 5.1k

Warnings: no use of y/n, pov switches that might be confusing, female reader, reader has hair, reader wears makeup, reader can get pale, weight loss, implied childhood abuse, trauma, angst, heavy angst(?), implied smut, alludes to pregnancy, funerals, coffins, reader has no name only a bunch of nicknames, size difference, dbf!Joel Miller, mentions of throwing up, loss of a loved one, grief, depression (?), food and eating issues are mentioned, talks of having a baby, Blood, dark thoughts, intrusive thoughts, age gap, readers age is not exactly mentioned but Joel is 44, talks of getting married….

If I missed anything please let me know 🙏🏻

Authors note: this is for @almostfoxglove ‘s Angst Writing Challenge. Shoutout to her she created the moodboard, it’s sooooo beautiful. 🫶🏻

Shoutout to @thecutestgrotto and @cafekitsune for the dividers 💙

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so if you come across mistakes it might be due to that. This is also only my second time posting writing for a specific character. I’m totally here for constructive criticism or feedback on how to improve. In general I appreciate comments, likes and reblogs greatly. This not beta read btw only by my eyes and they hurt after starring at the screen for so long 🌌🫶🏻

And lastly I’ll leave some songs i listened to while writing <3

loml by Taylor Swift

Black Friday by Tom Odell

This is what the drugs are for by Gracie Abrams

I guess by Mitski

Present by Lloyd Vaan

Je te laisserai des mots by Patrick Watson

Home by Daughter

Allowed to be Happy by Gustavo Santaolalla

Song on the Beach by Arcade Fire, Owen Pallet

aisatsana [102] by Aphex Twin

Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens

Francis Forever by Mitski

A House In Nebraska by Ethel Cain

Medicine by Daughter

Youth by Daughter

I can barely say his name by Patrick Jonsson

listen before I go by Billie Eilish

You remember exactly how you met Joel Miller, it was so simple. He was the one to give your Dad a job at the construction company he led together with his younger brother Tommy. In the beginning you only heard how great of a boss he supposedly was through your Dads stories. 

Joel and him seemed to have grown into real good friends in the span of mere weeks. You always had wondered what the man from his stories was like in person, up close. 

When you had to drive to the construction site to bring your Dad his lunch he had forgotten due to being a bit busy that morning. It seemed like your wishes to meet Joel would become reality. You didn’t think the big boss would spend his precious time with the actual building process but as you'd figure out in the future, Joel is a hands on kinda guy. 

You must’ve looked super out of place and quite lost when he approached you. His Texas drawl still echoed through your head hours later. „Well Hello Darlin, lookin for someone?“ and if that alone didn’t completely blew you away, then certainly his stunning looks. When you turned towards the voice a tall, broad and awfully handsome man looked back at you.

After an awkward beat of silence he stretched his hand out towards you “Apologies sweetheart, should’a start with the name, huh?” Tilting his head slightly “Name’s Joel, Joel Miller.” At that you let your hand slip onto his outstretched one. His hand was so huge, warm and calloused. Shaking his hand kinda calmed you down Joel Miller was absolutely lovely. “Nice to finally meet the famous Joel Miller that my Dad keeps yapping about nonstop.” You giggled while cheekily winking at him. 

That must’ve been a key moment for everything that was to follow. You’d see Joel again and again. Whether due to your Dad inviting the single, 44 year old Man over or due to you having to deliver your Dad’s forgotten food. 

The tension was slowly building higher and higher between you two until one day in Joel’s office you could no longer hold back. 

Joel stood in his office with you by his side, in front of a pinboard containing all sorts of information about his newest project. He was animatedly explaining processes you’d never understand in a million years. You actually kind of tuned him out and just enjoyed being unbelievably close to him. 

Then his face kinda looked confused. Oh no he must’ve asked you a question. Shaking your head you say  “Mhhh sorry, what did you just ask?” Joel tilts his head towards you the way he always does and then states “Ya didn’t listen to a single word I just said, right Sweetcheeks?” 

He always comes up with the most ridiculous nicknames that cause a vicious pull in your lower stomach. You lost count of how many conversations with him ended in drenched panties. 

“I….i -of course I was listening to you, why wouldn’t I?” You stammered a bit offensively, surely he’d see right through you. 

“Hm kay, so what was I talkin bout, gorgeous?” He’s teasing at this point. 

“Ok I wasn’t listening but that is a lot I don’t get anyway so can you really blame me, Miller?” You fired back. 

“So, whatcha thinkin bout inside of that pretty little head of yours, instead of listening to me?” You just scoff at him “Let’s not pretend you don’t know exactly what I was thinking about Joel.” Pointing one accusing finger at his broad chest. At that motion Joel enveloped your wrist in one of his massive hands, pulling you closer that way. Until you were right in front of him, only a tiny space left between your faces. “Why don’t ya tell me whatcha thinkin about Baby?” 

He must know, just by seeing how your eyes keep slipping down to glance at his pillowy lips, what is going through your head. You’ve been dancing around this topic, the tension, the pull towards each other, how forbidden it is for all of this to happen. Joel is your Dads Best friend and he’s twice as old as you are but you know that if you don’t kiss him right now you’ll go insane. It’s all you think about, kissing him and then some more. 

For the first time in years you actually consider letting someone get so close again. Joel would never hurt you like the ones before him did, no, he’s mature and wouldn’t play any of those stupid games. You know how kind, considerate, protective and caring he is for the ones he loves. Sure it won’t be easy to explain any of this to your Dad but you can’t think about that right now, no, you have to kiss Joel, it’s the last thought before leaning up to push your lips against his. 

One chaste kiss that erupted into a full blown make out session that only got interrupted by some frantic knocks at Joel’s Office door. 

From that day on those meetings became a routine, in his office, his truck, his house or sometimes he’d take you out of town for a super secret Date. The thrill of hiding with the possibility of getting caught soon turned into shame for lying to your Dad so much. You wanted to tell him even though it scared you more than anything how he might react. 

Surprisingly though he didn’t completely freak out, of course he was shocked and confused how this combination came to be. More than anything he took the lying personally and made clear that as long as you are happy, so is he. If Joel was the one then so be it, besides your Dad has a lot of respect for Joel and knows you're in good hands. 

After 3 months of being an official couple Joel asked if you’d be happy to move in with him. You had to think about it for a long time, feeling quite guilty about leaving your Dad behind but he reassured you that he would be fine on his own. He told you that a grown woman like you shouldn’t have to live with her boring old man anymore than you already did. 

So you moved into Joel’s house. And what followed were months filled with wonderful memories. Many barbecues were held, your Dad and Joel always standing at the grill together, each nursing on their beer bottles. 

Whenever you wanted to try a new recipe your Dad was invited over so you could make sure he still ate enough, the night always ending with you sending him home with a bunch of Tupperware's filled to the brim with deliciously homemade meals. 

When you wanted to paint the walls in the living room a new shade your Dad came over to help. 

Making sure his baby girl is happy and content was your Dads number one priority. 

Then one day you went over to his house to catch up a little bit, just you two having some Dad and Daughter one on one quality time. 

He was so excited when you told him that Joel and you want to have a baby. 

He told you what a great mother you’d make because of how wonderful you always have been with kids and how much you always wanted to have kids of your own. 

To others it might’ve been weird to share such an information with their Dad but you have such a close bond that it’s not weird at all. 

You were so happy on the drive home cuz you know what great grandpa he’d make. 

It must've been exactly one week later when you woke up with an indescribable feeling in your chest. As if the world spun a little slower, or the air felt more compromising…whatever it was you couldn’t stop feeling like something had happened. 

Your intuition only perked up more when your Dad didn’t show up for the usual Sunday’s breakfast you recently started doing. 

After 8 calls that nobody picked up you told Joel you would drive over there and as if he knew that you would need him for whatever was awaiting you there, he came with you. 

The closer you got to the house the worse you felt. Hands sweaty, heartbeat racing and your stomach felt like turning over at the sight of the house. Usually he would be up by now playing his obnoxiously loud music that you’d hear on the street through the open kitchen window. Instead it was eerily quiet. 

When Joel had parked the car he told you to wait for him but you couldn't. You just ran up the steps, unlocked the door with your spare key and bolted through the house as if on instinct you skipped up the steps to his bedroom. You flung the door open and there he was. Just laying on his designated side with his glasses still on and one hand on his chest across his heart. He looked like he was just sleeping but deep down you knew he was not. You can’t remember a lot, only that you immediately bolted towards the bathroom to empty your stomach out, Joel came up too and tried  comforting you through the heaving. Then he tried to get you away from the scene. Joel took care of everything while you just locked up inside of yourself. No tears, no screams, no words, not a singular reaction just nothing. Joel had never seen you look so…empty. 

Later on the authorities would say it’s just natural cause, he simply passed in his sleep, nothing dramatic. Not the kind of closure you would have wanted. It didn’t matter how “normal” it was, your world stopped spinning entirely. Everyone seemed to go one but you just stopped. 

Suddenly without any foreshadowing everything was completely flipped on its head. You loved him so much, he was your best friend. He told you all the time how much he loved you even with all your struggles. You’d never have to prove your worth to him; he'd love you no matter what. In his eyes you were a gift, opposite to your mother that looked at you as a burden. You never felt loved by her. She took away your precious childhood and forced you to grow up quickly. So you could take care of her. Even when you told her how close to the edge you were she always made everything about herself. Out of your parents the one person that actually wanted you, died and with him so did your willingness to continue with the fight against all your inner demons.

You lost yourself after that. For weeks you just slept, barely moving, only getting up to use the toilet and perhaps eat something small and drink a bit. Joel had to shower you, otherwise you wouldn’t have done it yourself. Who you were before losing your Dad was gone, as if you died with him. 

Joel tried everything in his power to make you feel better. One time he wanted to paint with you since you loved to do that, but the moment your eyes caught sight of the little paint pots you ran for the toilet to empty out your stomach. Later on he realized his mistake, you used to paint with your Dad a lot all the way back in your childhood so of course that would not make you feel better. Then he tried playing music for you either your favorite songs from your playlist or on his guitar. Nothing, you just continued to be completely catatonic. 

Then the funereal came, a day Joel dreaded he was not sure you’d be able to handle it. In the morning he made your hair and applied a bit of makeup, he watched you do your little routine often enough to know what he was doing. Afterwards he dressed you in a simple black dress and equally black flats. Walking only worked since Joel kept you upright. 

Sitting in the front row bench at the chapel you looked like a ghost. Pale and sunken in. You were asked to do a speech about your Dad but that would’ve been impossible. So Joel went up to do it instead. You just stared straight ahead at the coffin, not sparing a glance towards Joel. 

And once everything was over, the people, mostly his colleagues, paid him their respects. When everyone was gone you stayed and just laid your head on the coffin silently sobbing, which was the most emotion Joel had seen in weeks from you. Only he was to witness this vulnerability. 

Staring at the completed grave was just as daunting. His name is written in cold stone. All that’s left is this hole in the earth and a stone on top with his name. 

You walked away without sparring another glance toward the grave.

Then it seemed like you were getting better. You spoke more, ate more and slept less. You even searched out body contact with Joel, though it was just some cuddling and gentle kissing. But he took it as a step in the right direction. 

You almost fully returned to your old self but Joel could have not predicted how wrong he would be. 

He should’ve listened to his gut that told him something was off when you didn’t kiss him goodbye before he left for work that morning. 

You know how hard it will be but there’s no other choice. You have to get away, you have to leave so he can find someone better, someone who deserves a man like Joel Miller, someone less troubled, someone normal. 

Those fears you have now, always were inside of you but with your Dad passing they just all came to the surface. Grief killed you, it took everything, it’s as if you're in a room with a beautiful glowing bulb and some dark entity just rips it away. You're left in the dark and not even Joel’s light can make it better. 

You lost something nothing can replace. 

All your life you feared what would happen if you’d lose someone like this without any way of getting closure, he died without any warning just poof and gone he was. 

Your final goodbye was never said. 

Now you can’t remember how he used to be, you only remember him laying in his bed without moving a damn muscle,dead. You were the one to find him and even though it was not some unsettling scene it’s not leaving your head. You try hard to remember how he spoke that sarcastic tone he usually used. 

You can’t remember his face anymore, not even looking at pictures brings him back and at the same time he’s all you think about as if he’s haunting you. You hate him for leaving you so early. Why him? What kind of curse was laid upon you that everything always seems to fall apart when you think it’s finally working out. 

It’s as if some higher up can sense that you are happy and content with your life and they don’t want to give you that sorta life. 

The moment your brain processed what had happened you fell into the darkness like a big hole that sucked you in without any way out. Anyone around you could be another loss so what do you do? You leave, you disappear so no one gets hurt by whatever is wrong with you. 

Looking at yourself hurts because it’s him you see and it’s him you hear in your head he’s everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Sometimes you feel like you’re hallucinating because you swear to see him round the corner, you can almost hear him call out but when you try to look there’s nothing. 

Sometimes but much rarer than you’d like to admit you’ve visited the grave, sometimes you speak to no one. Sometimes you scream in agony till you almost lose consciousness from the lack of oxygen. Sometimes you just stare. 

It’s a sick twist of events considering how often he walked on cemeteries with you as a child. You didn’t understand the meaning behind them back then, you only loved to admire the beautiful flower ornaments laying on top of the graves. Your dad always told you how soothing these walks seemed for you. 

One time he took you and you had so much fun admiring the flowers giggling and smiling. Your dad wanted to tell you off since it’s a place where people grieved especially with a woman sitting nearby crying. He went to apologize to her on your behalf but the woman told him not to. She thought it was an uplifting sight to see little you having so much joy about the flowers, that’s a story he always kept telling you again and again. 

All your life those walks soothed your frayed mind. The quiet somber energy is something no other place could compare with. Now it’s the last place you’d wanna be in. The moment you step foot on the property, the panic starts to creep up on you. The closer you get to him the worse it gets. 

Sometimes the voices in your head scream to just start digging into the earth to get him out of that godforsaken coffin. Look at him, do something to bring him back. If the devil would show up to take you instead of your dad you’d do it. He was a troubled man but he tried so hard. He did not deserve any of this, he should’ve been here for all the good times yet to come. 

You imagined him walking you down the aisle, having that stupid first look with him where he’d surely try so hard not to cry but looking at his baby in a wedding dress would’ve been way too much for him to stay strong. You imagined having your first dance with him. 

You imagined how excited he would’ve been to hear that he was going to be a grandpa. In your head you can see him with a little baby that looks just like you. But none of this will ever happen; he's dead. 

Sometimes it’s hard to even look at Joel. He's connected to him as well; he was his boss and one of his closest friends. It’s not fair you know but in your head you see Joel and your dad laughing on the porch about some old men shit like always making their awful dad jokes. Or drinking a beer together or looking to fix something around the house. 

The house, Joel’s house and a place your dad spent a lot of time in. Walking through the hallways is not pleasant anymore, the couch is avoided as best as you can. He used to sit here all the time watching soccer games with Joel. The chair at the dining table he always sat on had to be removed simply seeing it made you sick and eating was already a hefty struggle since he passed. 

He left a mark anywhere and all of it was getting too much. The pressure in your head becomes more and more unbearable. 

Even though you tried to push all those negative festering thoughts away the voices could not be shut up no matter what you tried. 

The worst was when they started to go for Joel, suddenly all you could think of was how he’d die. Joel is only 10 years your dad’s junior. So if he died then why not Joel too. 

So many horrible scenarios played out inside your mind. Car accident, some freak accident on a construction site, getting attacked by multiple people, torturing him slowly, beating him to death, his head all split open, blood everywhere, or what if he gets shot by some crazy Texan who loves guns. There really was not a scenario left to imagine. 

Nightmares in the most cruel ways destroying you slowly from the inside out. And that just proved how one thing can make an avalanche of events happen. He was your purpose for most of your life, you only continued to play this game called life because you could not leave him. And now he left you. 

One time he told you how if it weren’t for you he’d be dead or in jail since there would be no reason to give a damn about his life. He was just like you, living for others instead of for himself. No one understood you like him. Somewhere deep inside you know he wouldn’t want you to blame yourself so much but that singular fact does nothing compared to all the ever suffocating darkness. 

You’d give anything to have him back, feel his warm embrace one more time, hear him say how much he loves you, have him tell you one of his stories, have him tell you it’s going to be alright, take one more look and inhale his signature scent. You have one of his shirts doused in his favorite perfume, it’s what you used to do in all those years you lived far away from him during childhood. Now it does not help like it did back then. What remains of him? Nothing, all of his stuff shoved into a storage unit looked up, buried just like him. 

You know Joel tried hard to be supportive and not push you too hard. Sometimes you wished he would’ve just screamed at you, slapped some sense into you and told you to stop being such a disgraceful mess. That’s what they would’ve done. 

But Joel is not like that,  he helped you so much. Putting himself so far behind. So much so that you feel sorry he has to deal with an ill girlfriend, that’s what you are, a mental wreck. 

He deserves better treatment than the lackluster one you have given him in the last months. He deserves to be free of your weight dragging him down towards the abyss. Even though he told you in the beginning that he loves you with all the baggage and all the challenges, you cannot let him continue to waste his time. 

Besides you’re convinced he’d leave you anyway like everyone before one way or another you end up alone. You have no control of the situation but if you leave then you have the control it still hurts but it’s the only option in your head. 

The decision was made weeks ago, it felt wrong to lie to Joel to keep him thinking everything is fine only to then rip it all away but perhaps it’ll make him hate you so it’s easier. If he hates you then he will be able to move on with his life. Burn all you build together down.

 And then you knew today would be the day. You couldn’t bear to kiss him in the morning; it would only make everything harder. Some time after he left you got up. One last time using the shower you both occasionally used together having foam party’s, giggling, washing each other and then kissing, touching till it leads to you with your cheek squished against the tile and Joel behind you ferociously hitting that special spot inside of you, till you both reach your high. Now you’re alone staring at that specific spot in the tiles, too much so you turn away. 

One last time looking at yourself in the mirror above the sink, the mirror Joel and you both looked into while brushing your teeth. You dry your hair, put on fresh clothes, nothing too dramatic, just some simple black leggings and a black cotton shirt. 

Then you start packing the most important stuff into two big suitcases. Basically only clothes, some hygiene products and a few trinkets that you don’t want to leave behind. The rest can be either sold by Joel or thrown away. You don’t care, the less holding you back the better. 

Once the suitcases are packed you haul them down the stairs towards the front door. And then you just wait. For hours you sit at the dining table just staring ahead at the wall opposite where so many photos of Joel and you hang so many memories and you’ll destroy it. 

You should feel bad but these days you barely feel anything, numb is what you think you feel most of the time. Maybe that’s what your ex meant when he said that you don’t own a heart, that you’re a cold blooded mean person. Someone who plays with people until they stop serving their purpose, that's what he said. 

It’s almost 8pm, Joel should be home soon. You have practically studied the words you’ll say. An Uber already ordered to arrive 15 minutes after he should get home. Not much to talk about the less the easier so you can just walk away. 

Then you hear it, Joel’s truck driving up the driveway and coming to a halt. How he gets out and slams the door shut behind him. His keys jiggling while he searches for the right one. Unlocking the door and closing it behind him. You don’t turn towards him although you know he must be looking at you in astonishment. He can not miss the suitcases and something about the lack of his words tells you he knows exactly what this means. 

Joel cannot believe what he walked into, he knew something was off but just thought that he was starting to imagine things but here you are sitting like an empty shell of yourself and the packed suitcases can only mean one thing, he tries his hardest not to freak out that won’t make anything better. 

He starts walking towards you, slowly, once he reaches the threshold of the living room he speaks up 

“Moon, Darling what’s goin on?” He immediately continues “What’s with those suitcases, huh?” He can’t even hide the nervous quiver in his voice. 

You turn to finally look at him with empty eyes, get up and walk up to him and then “I have to leave.” And with that you move to walk past him but Joel stops you by reaching for you arm, you immediately pull your arm away hissing “Don’t fuckin touch me Joel.” 

He’s stunned by this harsh rejection, his expression full of hurt. Yet he persists by getting close, grabbing your face with both hands, his warm calloused hands that you love- loved so much. He urges “Talk to me baby, what is going on, why would ya need to leave?” Even with everything he tried to be gentle, his voice panicked yet almost just a whisper. 

He can see in your eyes some sadness creeping in when you mutter “Joel..-“ you take one deep inhale “-…this House no longer feels like home.” He can tell even with how hard you try to appear collected that it pains you to say those words. “Wh…what do ya mean? If- if the house is the problem we can just move.” You cut in “No Joel, no i..I don’t love you anymore. Ok? I can’t stay here any longer.” 

It’s a punch right into his gut there’s no way you are serious. “Baby all ya stuff is here you can’t just leave.” He tries to find something to buy him time. “I don’t care Joel just…just throw it away or sell it or I don’t know fuckin burn it. I won’t need it anyway.” He’s so shocked that you use that to continue your path towards the front door and the waiting suitcases. 

On top of one suitcase lies a tote bag containing your phone, a jacket and your wallet sits. You swing it over your shoulder, you can hear that Joel has started crying, his huffed breaths are all you can hear. 

That’s when a car starts honking outside, the Uber is here, you go to open the front door twisting the knob you can hear him walking up behind you with heavy steps. You open the door anyway with him at your back and you move the suitcases out onto the porch. Joel’s trying his hardest to contain his sobbing to a minimum but it’s hard he loves you so much, he thinks about the ring in his wardrobe hidden behind stuff you’d never go for and he thinks about the talks you two had of having a baby. If only he knew 

His heart is breaking watching you walk away from all of it. You turn to him, one last time, he looks shattered, you've never seen Joel like this, you give him a nod as if to give him the ok to touch you one more time if only to give some kind of closure. He moves closer without hesitation and takes your face in his hands once more and leans his forehead against yours. His frantic breathing collides with your face and then “Wh…why Baby just why?” He sobs A simple question and you decide to give him at least something you reach up to put your hands over his to get him to open his eyes. 

“Joel I’m not myself anymore, i-…i feel so all over the place and I’m so scared.” Tears start clouding your sight. “I need to be away from everything. I need to be alone far away to just maybe find some peace. I need to be gone.” And the tears start falling “No matter where I look I can’t stop seeing him and it’s crushing me.” Now you're full on crying. He’s processing what you’re saying and somewhere in his mind he understands that, still he can’t believe this is it. 

“Ok-….if ya need to go at least promise you’ll give some sorta sign ya alright?” He looks desperate “Please Baby….please just a text something anything.” You only nod and then pull out of his grasp, take the suitcases and shakinly make your way to the Uber. Joel can only watch and hope you’ll stick to your words, hope that you’ll find some kind of way back to yourself. 

The Uber driver gets out as you approach and opens the trunk helping to put the suitcases in there. Then you walk to the right door on the back, open it and hesitate for a moment. Joel holds his breath but you continue to slip into the backseat. Closing the door and off the car goes. Joel doesn’t know for how much longer he stood on the porch long after the car was gone. What was there is no more. 

Npt: @almostfoxglove @joelmillerisapunk @aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @joelslegalwhre @thundermartini @studioghibelli @sizzlingcloudmentality @vivian-pascal @strang3lov3 @xdaddysprincessxx @mountainsandmayhem @mrsmando @joelsgreys @janaispunk @the-mandawhor1an @rivnedell (honestly I’m tagging pretty randomly, sorry) 💙

Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI, thank you 🙏🏻

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Just One Reason: Eye to Eye

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Lloyd Hansen

masterlist - to be added

Summary: A chance encounter at the sandwich shop doesn’t end how you expect.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

It’s all a blur. Grey and obscure. You wallow in your reawakened grief until you’re too tired to cry any more. Consciousness isn’t much different than the alternative and when the world comes back into focus, it’s just as confusing as ever. 

The pillow under your head is firm yet warm. You peel your cheek off of Lloyd’s arm and stare down at it groggily. How long has he been there with you? 

His eyes are closed, his chest rises and falls evenly, and he looks for once, at peace. When he’s awake, he is like a wild animal. Always talking, always smirking, indefatigable. Seeing him like this almost makes you think you’re dreaming. 

You groan and sit up. You put your back to him and bend over your lap. You wear the same clothes as before. Your only clothes. Everything is gone. Even you tears. You have nothing left to spend. 

You pull your hands away from your face and grip the edge of the bed. You stare at the window frame, the curtains rich and finely patterned with golden ivy. The walls are pristine as is every other piece in the room. All of it nicer than anything you ever had. But what you had before was priceless. 

The tickle along your back makes you squeak. The bed shifts and Lloyd grumbles, “tootsie, you okay?” He drags his fingertips up your shirt. 

You’re silent. You are not okay. You've been trying for more than a year to be okay. It’s time to accept that you’re not. 

“Hey, you need something? Some water?” He squeezes your shoulder and you wince. 

You shake your head. “I-- I think I should leave.” 

“Leave? What do you—you can’t--” 

“I’ll find somewhere. I did it before. It’s... not your problem, Lloyd,” you murmur. 

He moves across the bed to sit next to you. His slings his arm across your shoulder. “I can’t let you go. Not as your friend--” 

“You don’t have to,” you insist as you twiddle your fingers, shrinking under his thick arm. 

“I want to,” he says. “Look, tootsie roll. I’ve never been a good man. Never been great at the truth. Or emotions. Any of that. You saw that. That day we met. But look, I... you changed me. You helped me. So let me help you.” 

“What?” Your lip trembles as you look at him. “I didn’t--” 

“You did,” he winks, “come on. I was a jackass. And I can still be one. I won’t pretend I’ve repented but you did something. Hell, it’s selfish, ‘specially after everything, but if you go, I’m gonna be a mess.” 

“No, you’re just saying...” you mumble. 

“Hey, I don’t say anything I don’t need to say. Trust me. Alright? You’re twisting my arm here making me pour my heart out but if it keeps you here, safe, well, I’ll just suck up my pride,” he says. “So, it’s up to you but I’m just saying, I don’t mind if you stick around.” 

You stare at him. He’s right, when you met him, he did seem to be a bit of a jerk. Since then, he’s been... better. More so, he’s been there. 

You look down and think. It feels worse to just go. Not only because you don’t know where to go but because you’d just be leaving him after everything he did. He deserves better. He deserves to know. 

“I didn’t tell you something,” you say quietly. 

He leans in, squeezing your arm as he holds you against his side. “Didn’t tell me what?” 

You sniff and rub your nose, “I didn’t... last year, my dad died. We were close and it’s... tough.” You blink against the burn in your eyes. “His ashes were in my apartment. That’s all I had left.” 

He’s quiet. For a long time. You are too. It feels lighter to say it out loud but it also feels real. And he feels tense. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t mention it,” you utter. 

“No...” he clears his throat. “That’s... thanks for telling me. Can’t be easy.” 

He retracts his arm and stands up. He crosses his arms then drops them. He seems restless. 

“You want a coffee? I need a coffee,” he says. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t mind a tea, if you have it,” you slip over the edge so your toes touch the floor. 

“Take your time, sweetie,” he waves you off, “kitchen’s downstairs. Hook around the banister and it’s the first door behind that.” 

“Right, thanks,” you nod. 

He leaves you. You don’t think he’s upset, maybe he just doesn’t know how to handle that news. Like he said, he’s not good at emotion. Well, you don’t think you are either. 

You inhale and stand. You pad around the room and hug yourself as you go out into the hall. You blanch at the decor. It’s all so nice. Is he really that rich? And he’s been hanging out with you? 

You cringe. He’s seen your apartment. Saw. Oh. It brings back that feeling of when you were a kid. Everyone else had brand new things and you had what would do. You appreciated everything your dad got you but when you’re young, you think those things you matter. You wish he was there so you can tell him how much he did. 

You falter as you get to the stairs. You reach for the railing and begin a slow descent. You’re so weak, you think you might fall if you don’t hold on. You get to the bottom and recall his directions. 

You follow the thrum of the electric kettle into the kitchen. Lloyd intently slides a small metal cup attached to a long wooden handle into a fancy red machine. One of those fancy espresso makers you see in cafes. 

“I have some chamomile or green. I got a gift set a while back but I don’t really do tea,” he explains over his shoulder. 

“That’s fine. Chamomile, please,” you reply. 

“Sit,” he nods toward one of the high seats along the island. “You just take it easy. Let old Lolly take care of you.” 

You climb up and cross your arms over the cold marble. You watch his back. His shirt strains across his broad silhouette, outlining his shoulder blades.  

Looking around and at him, you still wonder, why is he wasting his time on you? All because you were nice enough to pay for a wrap? Has no ever been nice to him before? That thought makes you sad for him. You’ll stay, just a little bit, until you can get back on your feet. 

[glitterjay]

lover boy — 양정원 YJW | pt.2

genre: opposites attract, good boy!jungwon x popular!reader (fem) college au, semi smau, d!e/kys jokes

taglist: @hollyoongs @moon7jay @wondipity @defnotfertilizedtoesw @kwiwin @dimplewonie @wvnkoi @kissestojapan @ilovejungwonandhaechan @suhiiiies-blog

prev | next

DAY 1.

you had to admit you were excited to see what the week would bring for you. the reason why you called jungwon "lover boy" was because he did everything to get his crush to like him back. it was cute if you were being honest, but based on what had happened afterward, you felt like the person didn't deserve jungwon's efforts at all.

he said he'd change, and he's never shown interest in anyone romantically since you met him, let alone after hearing about his past experiences. of course, that happened when he was in high school, but you didn't think it would follow him all the way to his college life.

jungwon was always invested in his classes and work, never really showing his true colors to the world. you, on the other hand, managed to gain a reputation of your own in your field of study. how the two of you clicked so well is anyone's guess, but it was definitely one of the best friendships you had made thus far.

after your first class of the morning was over, you waited in your usual meeting spot for jungwon. it was quite rare for him to be there later than you, but you assumed he had fallen asleep in class or was probably with sunoo doing whatever. it had happened before.

you sat on the small bench under the tree that was just a few steps away. you sighed, stretching your arms a bit after a long, boring lecture. the people walking out of the building dwindled from many to just a few. it made you tilt your head, wondering why your friend wasn't out yet.

suddenly, a pair of hands covered your eyes. it startled you at first, but the cologne that reached your nose gave away the identity of the person behind you.

"jungwon?"

"thats right," he replied.

he removed his hands from your eyes, swiftly placing them under your chin to tilt your head back. he smiled sheepishly, revealing his teeth. your head now rested on his stomach as he stood behind you, caressing your face with his hands.

"lunch is on me today, girlfriend."

his behavior was different from his usual self, but it matched his quiet and serene personality. your last boyfriend matched your crazy and extravagant character, but jungwon was much calmer.

you blushed at the way he had called you "girlfriend." it was different, and you had to admit you liked it. you sat up straight, giving your whole back to him.

"great! i didn't bring any money today, so i was going to ask you to pay anyway."

he knew you were lying, but he wouldn't admit that.

as you both began walking, you noticed how his hand hesitantly tried to grab yours. despite jungwon bringing up the challenge himself, it was cute to see him being nervous. you, being your bold self, took his hand in yours, smiling when his head instantly turned to look at your way.

"Couples hold hands. Isn't that right, boyfriend?"

© glitterjay | tumblr

yup, you probably guessed it right. it will have 7 parts for each day of the week. feedback is very much appreciated, whether its a comment, a reblog, or an ask—anything helps!

[yeonjuns-beanie]

Don't You Want Me?

warnings:18+, unprotected sex, jealous hongjoong, roommate au, face grabbing, roughish sex, lusty bitches, mutual pining, idiots in love, hair pulling, overstim, oral ( m & f receiving), lil possessive nothing crazy but im feeling disgusting lol, pussy slapping( once..), dirty talk, spit play, 

summary: You and Hongjoong have been roommates for a while and friends for even longer. Over time he’s realized his feelings for you and now they can't be ignored. He asks you to accompany him to a release party hoping to find it within him to tell you his truths. When you get a little too close for comfort with one of his members, he decides how he’ll finally tell you. 

word count: 7.4k (my bad ;-;)

a/n: this is my first time attempting Ateez, so I hope I did okay! i love feedback good or bad. also our requests are open if interested! have a great day everyone :3 ~nero

Your eyes slowly blinked open as you awoke to the sun peaking through your blinds and exasperated groans coming from across the hallway. Forcing your body to sit up, you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes and begrudgingly removed yourself from your warm sheets. Walking across the hall you opened up Hongjoong’s door. 

“What’s with all the noise?” 

He almost didn’t notice your presence, but with the sudden extra light coming in through the door he looked up. You jutted your head forward, raising your eyebrows waiting for his response. He clicked the spacebar on his computer pausing the track he was working on. 

“Huh?”

You rolled your eyes. 

“I said, what’s with all the noise? I could hear you groaning in my sleep. Damn near woke me up.”

“Well, it’s almost noon so you need to be up anyway. But to answer your question, I can’t layer these tracks the way I’m hearing them in my head.” 

You walked into his bedroom sitting on his bed, not wanting to stand in the doorway anymore. He turned around to face you and you pointed towards his computer motioning for him to play the track. He took his headphones out of the input and turned up the master volume on his computer. You closed your eyes listening to the track. 

This was something that happened often between the two of you. Hongjoong would get frustrated with a track and you’d come in and offer your opinion cutting away at some of the edge he was feeling. As you listened to the demo he was working on you caught on immediately to the hiccup he was talking about. 

“Pause..go back like 5 seconds.”

As he clicked back to where you said you let the audio play through before you told him to stop the track again. Humming the instrumental to yourself, you started thinking about how you would construct the section. 

“You might not like it but what I would do is allow a little bit more space before the riser. And then maybe do some low pitch snare hits at the beginning of the riser. Right now I think there’s just too much going on and that’s why it’s not coming together.”

He turned back around in his chair and input the changes you said and rolled the track back a little bit to hear the difference. Lightly moving his head with the beat he paused the track again and turned back to you. 

“How do you do it?”

“It’s 'cause I’m not the one staring at it from scratch. I’m not as frustrated with it.”

He nodded his head and swiveled the chair back around to save the file. 

“I agree this sounds better but I still think something is missing. Thank you, for your help though.” 

“Anytime. You know I’m right down the hall.” 

You heard his laptop close and gathered yourself up from the bed. 

“Can’t imagine you’ve eaten yet, wanna go grab something for lunch?”

He nodded and you went back into your room to begin getting ready.  As you finished your morning routine, you walked out of the bathroom to make the change from pajamas to whatever you were planning to conjure up for an outfit. As you brought your head up from facing the floor, you felt your heart drop to your stomach and your heart skip a beat. 

Hongjoong was perched perfectly on the edge of your bed watching you finish your routine. 

“Jesus! Scared the shit outta me Joong. Also, get out, I have to get dressed.” 

Hongjoong looked up at you, eyes lazy with intent and thoroughly unamused. 

“After all these years, you still kick me out. Have you no shame?”

“Shut up, I’ll be done in a second.”

You smiled to yourself as you shook your head trying to rid yourself of the feelings bubbling back up again. It was horribly cliche, but you had a suffocating crush on your best friend. You’d never utter a word to him about it for fear of losing him or at the very least ruining the years of friendship that you created. 

Jumping into your jeans, you wiggled the rest of the fabric over your hips and secured the button. You settled on a top that did wonders for your chest, rounding out your boobs and cinching your waist most slightly. Grabbing a sweater from off your floor, you sprayed yourself with perfume before heading out into the main room where Hongjoong was scrolling on his phone. 

He heard your footsteps before you could come and leer over his shoulder, but if you were quick enough you would've caught him staring at a picture of the both of you. If you could read minds, you would've been privy to the extensive fairytale life he was imagining with you. As you came over, he swiped out of his photos and locked his phone. 

“Ready?”

“Mhmm. Where should we go?”

Furrowing his brow, he thought about all of the food options near your apartment. 

“Why don’t we go to that cute cafe down the street?”

“Oh yeah! I’ve been seeing people post all about it. It looks really cute and the food looks good.”

Nodding you both headed towards the door and began the walk to the cafe. As you guys followed the gps on your phone, you almost missed the cafe. It was hidden in plain sight. There was no real sign designated where it was, but when you stumbled in front of it you opened the comically large door to the inside. As you walked in you were met with a cottagecore dream. It was cute and cozy and you could see why everyone had been obsessed with it lately. 

You guys ordered and were waiting in front of the cashier to finish typing everything in. Reaching into your purse you got ready to put your card to the reader, which had Hongjoong smacking your hand. 

“Stop that.”

“But you always pay.”

“As I should y/n.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line, knowing that you weren’t gonna win this time. On occasion, you were able to get him back, but he always seemed to beat you to the reader. As the cashier handed him the receipt, he told you guys that your order would be called out over the speaker in a few moments. Thanking Hongjoong timidly, you guys walked around the cafe looking for a place to sit. Settling on two chairs and a table situated under some fairy lights, you guys got comfortable. 

Leaning forward on the table, you rested your chin on your hands. 

“Soooo, whatcha thinking about.”

Hongjoong smiled at you lightly, a barrage of sirens sounding in his head at how cute you looked sitting across from him. If anyone on the outside were to see you two, they would easily assume that you were dating. The way you both looked at each other was so obvious you couldn’t miss it on the outside, but for some stubborn reason neither one of you could see it on the other. 

Hongjoong leaned forward coming closer to you. 

“Funny you should ask. I’ve been meaning to ask you this but it always left my mind.” 

You raised your eyebrows, silently telling him to go on. 

“So, you know how we have that release party coming up?”

You nodded, eyes layered with curiosity. Now was the time. He had been mulling over this for weeks now and it was either now or never he had to ask. 

“I was thinking about it and we’re all allowed a plus one…and I would like that to be you.”

“Oh, word?”

You tried your best to seem unphased and that this would be just another ordinary outing with him, but your heart was accelerating thinking about all of the possible what-ifs of attending with him. 

“Yeah. I would love for you to be there. You know you’re always there to help me out when I need it and I think it would be the perfect time to show you off.”

“Show me off?”

Your eyebrow raised, wondering what he meant by that comment. Even though there was a line of friendship between you two, it still felt nice to hear. 

“Well not like show you off, ‘casue obviously were not dating but like you come up all the time and I think it would be a perfect time for the guys to meet my mini producer.” 

You rolled your eyes at the compliment suddenly feeling a bit of imposter syndrome set in. 

“Oh come on, you give me too much credit.” 

“But you help me so much and I mean that. I’d probably be bald if I didn’t have you around.” 

You paused pretending to think about your answer. 

“I’d love to.” 

His name was called over the speaker and he went to go grab the tray of food. As he walked away, you were fighting the biggest grin running over his words over and over. When he came back over, your stomach made its presence known with a heavy growl. You guys began to eat making mindless conversation. Everything was just so easy between you two. 

As you guys were finishing up, his phone rang. Silently asking him you cleaned up the table setting the tray in its return spot. As you came back to the table he was shoving his phone back into his pocket. 

“What’s up?”

“Oh nothing, they just need me at the studio to run over what’s gonna happen for the release party.”

“Oh okay, so I guess I’ll see you a little bit later?”

“Yeah, I hate to leave you but-”

“-It’s okay Joong, I need to go shopping now anyway.” 

You guys began walking out of the cafe continuing your conversation.

“Shopping for what?”

“For the party genius, I don’t have anything to wear.”

Hongjoong paused, thinking about the array of outfits he’d seen you go out in before. 

“Yes, you do.” 

You looked at him a little confused which spurred him to continue. 

“That black dress with the leg slit and the mesh center.”

He motioned towards his stomach talking about the last bit. 

“But I thought you said you didn’t like that one?”

“Well, you’re gonna be with me so I can keep an eye out for you.”

There it was again. The ten thousand butterflies swarming your stomach. You knew his tendencies and how jealousy was just in his nature. He meant no harm by it, it was just that he cared about you deeply and didn’t want anyone to do you wrong. At least, that’s what he told himself to keep his sanity. He hated knowing others could gawk at you when you went out and he could do nothing about it. 

“Okay you have point, and I do really like that dress.”

“So do I.”

“Shut up, you perv!”

“Hey! I’m just being honest.”

He held his hands up in defense. 

“Well, anyways I still need to get some makeup but at least I don’t have to worry about an outfit.”

Hongjoong nodded to you and leaned in for a hug before pulling away in the opposite direction. 

“Alright, I’ll see you later tonight. Be safe and text me when you get home.”

“I will.” 

Smiling to yourself, you walked back towards your apartment, knowing that there was a drug store right around the corner. You didn’t need a lot you just really wanted a new lipliner. Before moseying over all of the colors, you started to think about what kind of makeup look you’d settle on. You picked up a deep brown liner and decided on indefinitely doing a bold red lip and you’d figure out the rest the day of. 

Checking out, you walked back to your apartment, somewhat relieved to be back home. You were a homebody at heart no matter how much you claimed to love city life. Kicking off your shoes, you pulled out your phone to text Hongjoong.

Y/N: just got in

You didn’t get a response back but you did get a notification that he hearted the message. You grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and wandered into your bedroom to scroll on your phone. At some point, you felt your eyelids become heavy and you drifted off. 

When you woke back up, your room was shrouded in darkness and the apartment was a little colder than usual. As you rubbed the sleep from your eyes, you heard the lock on the front door turn. 

“Y/n/n, you home?”

“In here.”

Your voice scratchy and your throat dry from just waking up. You saw the light in the main room flick on and heard him shuffle into your room and he switched on the overhead light in your room. 

“Turn that shit off bro, it is so bright.”

“Aw did princess just wake up from her nap.”

You looked at him with narrowed eyes and huddled more underneath your blankets. 

“As a matter of fact, I did. And now I’m cold and hungry.”

Hongjoong crawled up on your bed and snuck under the sheets with you wrapping his body around yours, letting his head rest on your shoulder. 

“You know, body heat is the best way to warm up.”

“And so is turning on the heat.” 

“Okay lemme turn it on then.”

As he went to get up from the bed, stopped him by leaning back into him. 

“No, don’t, the body thing is working. How was the studio stuff?”

Hongjoong smiled to himself, and with him behind you, you couldn’t see how wide it was beginning to spread. 

“It was alright. A little stressful but we got everything figured out.” 

You nodded and you nuzzled more into him. You turned your head to face him as best you could. 

“By the way, when is the release party again?”

“Tomorrow.”

You whipped your head around, eyes wide, dramatizing your reaction to his answer. 

“Well, at least you told me today, might’ve had a stroke if you told me tomorrow.” 

“You’re so dramatic.” 

“You love it.” 

You were cut off by your stomach growling against Hongjoong’s hand that was resting against it. You both laughed as you looked at each other completely surprised by how loud it was. As you went through your list of options you both decided that it would be more satisfying to cook something at home. Hongjoong got out of your bed first and as you heard the clanging of pots in the kitchen you found yourself wandering after him. As you guys helped each other with dinner, you couldn’t help but relish in the domestic feeling you were feeling with him. Unbeknownst to you, he was feeling the exact same thing. Finishing up cooking you guys decided on something to watch before eating in comfortable silence. 

You excused yourself to go through your night routine. When you finished you walked back out to the main room and noticed Hongjoong wasn’t in there anymore. Shuffling to his room, you peeked through his cracked door and saw him posted up in front of his computer again, his headphones sitting around his neck. 

“You need help with anything?”

He looked up at you with such a soft look you couldn’t help but fall even deeper into the grave you were digging. 

“Huh? No, I’m okay actually. Thanks for checking in.”

“Okie, I think I’m gonna head to bed.”

“See you in the morning.” 

He smiled at you before putting his headphones back on. You gently shut his door and walked down the hall to your room where you snuggled up against your stuffed animals and fell into a deep sleep quickly. 

When you woke up the next morning, your stomach was in knots suddenly nervous with the idea of meeting the rest of his members and attending the party in general. As you opened your phone you finally saw the time and almost flew out of the bed. Opening your door you saw Hongjoong fixing himself something to eat. 

“What time do we have to leave tonight?”

“Like 5ish, why?”

You finally took a regulated breath and calmed yourself down. Pulling yourself out of the panicked state that you found yourself in fresh out of sleep. 

“Okay good. You know I need 7 years to get ready, I thought I woke up way too late.”

“You should eat something before you make yourself go crazy in the bathroom though.”

Agreeing you fixed yourself some cereal and then waddled back into your bedroom flopping on your bed, the task of getting ready seemed so incredibly daunting now that you had to do it. You checked the time and it was only 1:30pm. Giving yourself half an hour to dick around, you figured you could get ready in three hours. 

Once your precious thirty minutes expired, you groaned the entire way into the bathroom. After brushing your teeth, you turned on the shower gathering all your necessary products. Grabbing your face wash last and throwing on a shower cap, you begin the extensive process that was showering. After you finish your shower, you moisturized your body, and put on your undergarments and a dressing robe. 

Before starting your makeup, you grabbed your speaker from your bedroom, turned on some music, and started the painstaking process of making sure your entire face was symmetrical. Deciding on a smokey liner for your eyes, you made sure everything was even. 

Before you knew it, the sky outside began to change colors, the hues reflecting into your room turning much warmer than when you started getting ready. You checked your phone and the time read 4:32pm. You took a breath realizing that you still had time. Lining your lips and filling them in with your favorite red lipstick, you rubbed them together, blending the two products. Satisfied with your look you slipped off your robe and left it on the bathroom floor. 

Sliding through your racks of hangers, you found the dress you were looking for. Heading back into the bathroom you slipped into the dress, fighting with the fabric as you pulled it over your hips. As you pulled the straps up over your shoulders, you situated your boobs so that they sat higher creating the perfect cleavage. You played with the slit on the dress cinching it a little higher up your leg. 

You gave yourself a once over, loving the way the dress hugged your curves before heading back into your room to grab your jewelry pieces. You settled on a small, silver Cuban link necklace that Hongjoong gifted you for your birthday one year, small dangly silver earrings, and a few rings adoring your fingers. Grabbing a clutch and your black, pointed pumps from your closet, you sat in the main room waiting for Hongjoong to come out. 

As you sat on the couch he called out for you.

“Y/n! Are you ready?” 

“Yup! Just gotta slip my shoes on.” 

As you wiggled your feet into your heel, you heard Hongjoong’s shoes clicking from the hallway. He was clad in a pair of ripped blue jeans, a white dress shirt, and a black and white cropped and frayed jacket. You thought he was attractive before but staring at him dressed up had you at a loss for words. When he lifted his head from the floor and his eyes landed on your figure, he couldn’t help but widen his eyes and be in awe of you. If he wasn’t completely smitten with you before, he surely was now. 

“You, you look great Y/N.”

“Can say the same for you Joongie.”

He felt his heart melt. Whenever you called him that he couldn’t help but be whipped for you, he wanted you all for him and now he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to share you with everyone else. His thoughts were running wild with nothing but you in them. Your voice pulled him from his thoughts. 

“Should we get going?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” 

Walking to the parking lot by your apartment, Hongjoong opened the passenger door for you before letting himself in. The drive to the venue was a little silent except for the music coming through his speakers. You were wracked with nerves and were honestly a little more than nervous about the event. 

“Y/n, why are you so nervous?”

“Wha-, I’m not nervous!”

“You’ve been silent the whole ride, cmon I know you.”

You sighed, knowing you wouldn’t be able to hide your feelings. 

“I don’t know, I guess I just don’t wanna mess anything up for you.” 

He looked over at you as he pulled into the venue parking lot. 

“Everything is gonna be fine. Besides, when have you ever messed anything up for me?”

“Well, there was that one time-

“-Something serious.”

You were silenced knowing he was right. You took another breath and didn’t even realize Hongjoong had already come to open your door. 

“Thank you.”

As you walked to the entrance, Hongjoong had his hand on your lower back keeping you close to him. Walking into the building, there were neon lights everywhere, an array of people, Ateez’s music blasting through the overhead speakers, and of course, you picked out immediately the seven other men you were destined to meet. San noticed Hongjoong first, waving his hand to come toward the group. 

You had a large grin on your face, masking your conglomerate portrait of emotions. 

“Hongjoong! And I’m assuming this is the special lady we’ve all been hearing about?” 

You held your hand out towards San and introduced yourself. 

“Y/n, it’s nice to meet you!” 

San gently moved your hand away and pulled you into a hug. 

“It’s so nice to finally meet you! Hyung here is constantly talking about you.”

Whom you would later find out was Wooyoung, made his presence known by shouting over the music and commenting on how you looked next to his friend. 

“Hongjoong! You didn’t tell us she was taller than you too!”

You smiled and chuckled to yourself, feeling slight steam come off of Hongjoong.

“It’s just my shoes!”

San dragged you to the rest of the group to introduce you to everyone to which you realized you had nothing to worry about. All of them were so inviting and greeted you with a near bone-crushing hug. There was someone who stuck out from the rest though. 

Seonghwa. 

The way his gaze lingered on you, you noticed it from when you walked in and when you were pulled so close to him, his touch loitered on your skin a little bit longer from the rest. 

You had to admit everyone single one of them was attractive in their own right and perhaps this is exactly what you needed to get over your little massive crush on your best friend. As the night went on, you got along with everyone so smoothly. The conversation never seemed to have an end. 

Every time you spoke though you found Seonghwa’s eyes fixated on you, something Hongjoong noticed as well. You looked around for the bar, desperate for some alcohol in your system to maybe find some courage to approach his leering gaze with the same confidence. Seonghwa noticed this and came closer to you leaning to your ear so he didn’t have to shout. 

“You want to go grab a drink?”

“Uh yeah actually. Joong do you want anything?”

Hongjoong’s eyes were cold as he looked towards Seonghwa but softened his expression as best as he could as he turned back to you. 

“Yeah, I’ll just come with you guys.”

As you three went to get up Yunho grabbed Hongjoong’s attention. 

“Hyung! Wait. We have to go over that prompt before you do anything. You have to give that speech here in a moment.” 

His shoulders hunched coming to terms that he had to do his job first before catering to his bubbling emotions. You turned back to him before walking off with Seonghwa to the bar.

“You want your usual?”

He nodded and you and Seonghwa made light conversation over to the bar while you were waiting for the drinks to be made. When the conversation died down a bit, Seonghwa felt that this was the perfect moment to ask. 

“So I have to know, are you and Hongjoong a thing? Or is that just him being possessive?”

“It’s definitely just him being him. Ever since we met he’s always been a little bit protective of me. But to answer your question, no we’re not together.” 

“He definitely acts like your his.”

“Yeah no, just friends.” 

He nodded leaving the conversation there and with perfect time all three of the drinks were finished as well. You walked back to where everyone was congregating and gave Hongjoong his drink. His gaze was still hard but you couldn’t quite figure out why. The music faded out and a light targeted its way to where all of Ateez was sitting. Hongjoong gave his speech and you were nothing but enamored with him. 

The way the light was hitting his face, his outfit, the way he carried himself with such elegance talking about his pride and joy. As you were standing off to the side soaking him in, Seonghwa was doing the same thing with you. Drinking you in with every second that he could. When Hongjoong finished his speech, the music faded back in and you looked back over toward the group. Seonghwa with his newfound information about your single status had to seize this opportunity. 

As Hongjoong was preoccupied with his members, Seonghwa sneaked off to you.

“Wanna dance?”

“Sure, why not?”

He pulled you down to the dance floor where some other people had the same idea. Feeling the music you swayed with the beat and smiled up toward Seonghwa. As the song faded out, you finished your drink and told him you were going to go grab another. He followed you not wanting to leave you alone. As you guys walked back to the main floor you continued dancing with each other. Seonghwa leaned down to you again.

“You know he’s in love with you right?”

His comment caught you off guard and you sipped your drink.

“What do you mean?”

“If you were to see him from my angle…he wishes he could strike me down right now.” 

“Wait turn me so we swap spots, I want to see.”

You did just that but Seonghwa made sure to add a little extra to your turn. When your eyes spotted where the group was sitting you saw how silent Hongjoong was. The way his gaze was now directed towards the both of you. 

He was pissed.

You almost felt bad but at the same time, you desperately begged any god that was listening that this would pan out in your favor. 

“Wrap your hands around my neck.”

You furrowed your brows

“Just do it.”

In beat with the song that was playing you slowly wrapped your arms around his neck. 

“My next question is, do you feel the same way about him? And I already know the answer I just wanna see if you’ll lie to me.”

Seonghwa smirked at you. 

“So much so that it’s excruciating to think about.” 

As the two of you swayed you talked about your crush. 

“Well Y/n, looks like this is your lucky night, 'cause here he comes.” 

You felt a hand grace your back and you turned around to face Hongjoong. He tried his damnedest to hide his hardening feelings from you because they were truly directed at Seonghwa. 

“I’m not feeling too well I think we should head home.” 

“Oh! Okay, do you need me to do anything.?”

He shook his head and you sucked down the rest of your drink throwing the cup in the nearest trashcan.

“Let me just say goodbye to everyone.”

You walked over to the rest of the boys hugging everyone goodbye. When you went to hug Wooyoung, he pulled you a little closer so he could whisper in your ear. 

“Hope you know your man is pissed and I hope you get the best sex out of this.”

Your mouth hung open, surprised by his boldness. You pulled away from him lightly smiling. 

“He’s not my man Woo.”

“Well, he’s been acting like it! Good luck y/n.” 

He laughed and you suddenly felt your nerves settle in your stomach as you walked back over to Hongjoong. Hugging Seonghwa goodbye and began to walk off with Hongjoong. 

“Don't forget to text me y/n/n!”

You turned around and waved towards Seonghwa, confused for only a moment before you understood that he was egging Hongjoong on. Hongjoong picked up his speed and borderline was pulling you out of the venue. When you got to the car he opened the door for you but the drive was viciously silent. His knuckles were gripping against the steering wheel turning a forced shade of white. 

His breathing was heavy and slow and you felt like if you said anything it would be like poking a stick at an angry bear. You couldn’t bear the silence anymore though so you spoke up. 

“Joongie…are you okay?” 

He didn’t answer you. You were only a few minutes away from home so when he pulled into the apartment complex you felt a bit of relief knowing you wouldn’t have to have that question linger in the air. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what I did to upset you but whatever it was I’m sorry.” 

The air was heavy, suffocating even. Your timid voice dissipated immediately into the tension he was spewing into the air. He got out of the car and walked around to open your door, but started walking a bit ahead of you. You both stepped into your apartment door and you let him in first, locking the door behind you both as you took off your shoes. 

“That’s what you call it?”

You almost didn’t hear him, but you didn’t want to make him more upset by having him repeat himself. You didn’t have to ask though, the time you took to respond had him wired up enough.

“I said, that’s what you call it? Not knowing whatever it was.”

“Joongie I can’t know what you're so upset about if you don’t tell me.”

“Don’t ‘Joongie’ me and don’t act like you don’t know. You let him all over you all night and I just had to sit there and watch!”

You paused. 

“This is about Seonghwa?”

“No, it’s about Jongho, c’mon y/n you’re smarter than that.” 

His tone was frustrating you to no end. He was chastising you for no real reason. It wasn’t like you were dating so why was he treating you as such? You loved him you knew that much but every time someone so much glanced at you, you had to deal with some sort of small outburst like this.

“Joong it’s not like we’re dating, I don’t understand why this is bothering you so much.”

“Because you’re mine y/n! You’ve always been mine! And every time I have to sit back and watch you possibly find the feelings that I feel for you in someone else it drives me up the fuckin wall. I can’t stand seeing you with someone else and I-” 

“-Hongjoong I-”

“No! Let me finish. If I have nothing at least I can have the peace of knowing that you finally know.” 

Your heart was in your ears. You felt like you were underwater and slowly watching yourself begin to drown. He was confessing and you didn’t know whether to feel overjoyed or scared at the thought that everything you wished for was happening at such an intensity.

“And I love you. I can’t watch you hold somebody else when I love you with a passion that suffocates me while I sleep. If you don’t feel the same way, I understand but I can’t keep living without you knowing.” 

Now it was your turn to be silent. You stared at him like a deer in headlights unable to form a response for him. 

“Well don’t just stand there, say something! Please.”  

You went to open your mouth but nothing came out. 

“Oh, fuck it.” 

Hongjoong walked over to you, clearing the short distance that was between you two. His hands encased your face and his lips covered yours. Your eyes blew wide for only a second before relaxing completely into his touch. You returned the kiss with equal fervent, curling your nails into the nape of his neck. His kiss became more urgent and he bit at your lip pulling it with him as he pulled away. 

He looked at you trying to read your features. Your eyes were glistening with a mixture of lust and love and there was heat you could feel rushing to your face as you gazed back at him. Lust was evident in his eyes but none of the hardness that he was harbouring earlier. He tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear. 

“Don’t you want me?”

His tone was pleading, his eyebrows curling upwards. Everything about him begging to hear a similar response from you. When you finally spoke his heart began to beat again. 

“Hongjoong, I’ve wanted you since I met you and I don’t know how you missed all my signs. But I swear if you don’t take me now I’ve got a text message to send.” 

He grabbed your hand and dragged you down the hallway into his bedroom. He pulled your body close to his once again, pressing his lips firmly against yours. His hand fingered its way through your hair and he grabbed a fistful of it. A weak moan left your mouth and he pulled you away from his. 

“I don’t ever want to hear you say his name again.” 

You carded your hands through his Styx colored hair, smirking up at him.

“Make me forget it then.”

It wasn’t a growl, but it was a sound that reverberated in the depth of his chest before he pushed you onto the bed. You scooted more towards the center of the bed as Hongjoong crawled over you. His lips attacked your jawline, trailing down to your neck where he began sucking crimson marks distinctive to him, claiming you for anyone to see. 

His hands traveled down to your breasts and he played with your nipples through the fabric of your dress as he continued his assault on your skin. 

“Hongjoong please.”

“Oh, now you wanna beg me? What happened to that text message, hmm?”

“I don’t, I just want you. Only you. Please.”

He chuckled against the space where your neck and shoulders connect, the warmth of his breath sending goosebumps up your body. He raised himself on his hands looking you in the eyes. His hand came up to caress your face, his thumb grazing across your bottom lip. You opened up your mouth so that his thumb slipped in and you began sucking on it. Your eyes glazed over in lechery. Your hands trailed down his body and rested on the hem of his jeans, hooking your fingers into his belt loops bringing him closer. 

He removed his thumb from your mouth and went back to teasing your nipple. You whined, attempting to writhe your body against him. 

“Open.” 

It took you a second to register his words, but you looked up at him with wondrous eyes and opened your mouth slowly. 

“Wider.”

Nothing would’ve prepared you for the wad of spit he aimed in your mouth nor the asphyxiating grip your pussy reacted with. You swallowed without any command and opened your mouth again for another take. 

“Wanna know how I know you’re mine? I didn’t have to tell you to do that. You’re just filthy enough to take whatever I want to give you, isn’t that right, baby?” The pet name had you squirming. The ring it had coming from his mouth had you wanting to cling to him for the rest of time. He snaked down your body and bunched up the skirt of your dress so he could easily remove you from your underwear. He dragged his finger between your slit, gathering not even a fraction of your arousal. The pad of his finger gently swiped over your clit and your body jumped due to the sensitivity. 

“Aw, is my girl a little sensitive?”

You mewled out, words not forming correctly in your mind. 

“Is this all for me y/n?”

“Mhmm” 

You writhed against him hoping that it was enough to satisfy him. The slap against your pussy led you to believe otherwise. You moaned out and pushed yourself to your elbows to look down at Hongjoong. 

“I said, is this all for me?” “Yes, yes, yes! It’s all for you Joongie. Fuck it’s always you~ah!”

He swiped his tongue up your slit ringing your precious little bell with his hellish tongue. He pushed your legs further apart and his fingers toyed with your entrance. 

“You want it?”

“Hongjoong, please! I want you to do whatever you want. Make me yours.”

You whined out finding it harder and harder to keep your composure. Hongjoong entered two fingers into your decadent cunt, your warmth wrapping around him like a tender blanket. His tongue kept a perfervid pace on your clit, bringing you dangerously close to your edge. 

“Hongjoong, I-I’m gonna.”

You were panting, your words barely forming enough to be heard. Hongjoong took your affirmation and used it against you, pulling his fingers and his tongue away from your heat. You whined and writhed against him, in clear distress from the lack of him. 

You got up and he pushed you back down with a searing kiss. The taste of you, tart and something faintly sweet on your tongue. You pushed back against him and you rolled him over so that he was lying on his back now. You kissed him on his jawline and bit at his ear, pulling gently at the skin. You moved off the bed and shimmied out of your dress, presenting all of your glory in front of him. You crawled back up on the bed and unbuttoned his pants pulling them down his legs. 

“I want you in my mouth so bad.”

He lifted himself from the bed, removing his jacket and throwing it somewhere in his room. You fumbled with the buttons on his dress shirt, but you needed to see all of him. With the final button undone, he threw that behind the both of you and your attention was back on the bulge fighting against the fabric of his underwear.

Slowly pulling them down, you dropped them off the bed and eyeballed his length. 

“Can I?”

“Don’t let me stop you, baby.”

You let a glob of spit fall onto his head before you licked him up from base to tip. Hollowing out your cheeks you found praise in the frequency of his moans. You twisted your tongue around his shaft as you bobbed up and down his length. When you looked up at him he was already staring you down. 

“Fuck, y/n! You’re so good. You’re so so good.” 

You picked up your pace, intent on making him cum and making him cum quick. His moans became louder almost turning into whines. He sucked the spit through his teeth and tried to calm himself down.

“Baby, baby, slow down I’m gonna cum.”

But you weren’t listening, you had no intent to. Hongjoong wrapped his hand in your hair and pulled you off of him. 

“You don’t listen do you?” “Maybe you should teach me how.” 

You smiled completely fucked out, your mouth swiped with saliva.

“Get on your back.”

His tone was domineering and you love every drop of it. He brought himself down to your nipple sucking on the tender skin. You moaned out needing more from him. 

“Joongie, please. I need you inside of me. I need to know what you feel like.” 

Your eyes were pleading, you truly needed nothing more in this moment. He lined himself up with your entrance before teasing you and sliding his hot and needy cock between your folds.

“Joong please, don’t tease me~ugh!”

He filled you up so nicely. You could feel every inch of him and the stretch you felt from his size was indescribably delicious. He started with long, slow strokes allowing you to feel every bit of him. Your hands found refuge on his back, your nails leaving red marks of ardor in their wake. 

“More. I need more Hongjoong.” 

He picked up his pace but it still wasn’t enough for you. You needed him to be rougher with you, you needed him to claim you and make you never forget where home was. You grabbed his face with both of your hands and forced him to look directly into your sex-blown eyes. 

“Joong, I need you to fuck me like you mean it.”

Something in him broke. His dam of reservations crumbling with your words. He wanted to be sweet with you and forget about the earlier moments of the evening. But with every bratty comment that left your lips, he simply couldn’t. He flipped you on your hands and knees and began pounding you from behind. The cry that left your mouth was one of pure pleasure. You could feel him hitting the parts of you that made you insatiable. 

The tip of his cock was bruising your g-spot leaving you in a sex drunken stupor. 

“Who’s pussy is this?”

“You~ah!”

“Who’s pussy is this y/n? I’m not asking again”

“It’s your’s Hongjoong! Fuck it’s always been yours, baby.”

Tears were welling up in your eyes from the pleasure you were feeling. 

“Hongjoong baby, I’m gonna cum!”

“Cream all over my cock baby, let me feel how good I make you feel.” 

That’s all you needed to be sent over the edge. His cock was making you dizzy with lust and you didn’t know if you needed a rest or more of him. Hongjoong already made that decision for you though, fucking through and after your orgasm, wildly overstimulating you. 

It was almost too much to handle and you started crawling away from his pistoning hips. Hongjoong grabbed your hips and pulled you even closer to his fiery drives of pleasure. 

“Stop running. This is what you wanted, isn’t it? To fuck you like I mean it.”

He leaned over you pressing your head into the mattress. His thrusts became more erratic and rougher and you could feel his cock begin to twitch against your seraphic walls. 

“y/n, where do you want me?” “Fuckin hell, inside of me Hongjoong. I don’t wanna forget who I belong to. Fill me up please, Joongie.”

His cum shot out of him at a rate that even surprised him. It colored your walls, making its own rapturously beautiful painting. You were now his color and couldn’t ask for anything more. You flopped down on the bed, your body spent from the adrenaline you were banking on. Hongjoong kissed your cheek and spoke against your skin, his breath sending chills up your spine again. 

“You’re mine, baby. Now, wait here, I’ll be right back.”

You didn’t plan on moving, completely spent from the moments prior. Hongjoong came back into the room with a warm cloth and cleaned you up as gently as he could. Not wanting to cause you any discomfort. He left the rag on the floor and climbed up next to you and you wrapped your body around him resting your head on his stomach. 

“Say the words.” 

He looked down at you.

“What words?”

“What do you want me to be to you?”

“My girl.”

You paused looking up at him giving him the most obvious of hints. 

“Will you?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

You sat up and looked at Hongjoong. 

“Are you hungry?”

“How’d you know?” 

“Well, we didn’t really eat at the party or before we left and it’s now…11 at night.”

You both chuckled and you looked at him thinking of what would be open this late and still be good. 

“Pizza?”

“Sounds good.”

“Okay, you order I’m gonna go pee.” 

When you looked at yourself in the mirror you felt a sense of relief and pride wash over you. Your post-sex glow gave you something else to gawk at besides the fact that it was this timeline where you would get to be with the one person you thought you could never have. 

[mountttmase]

Not Yours

Note - happy Tuesday 🩷 thank you to the anon for this request. It’s not something I’d normally write but I quite enjoyed this one so I hope you all do too. Feedback would be very much appreciated 😉

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 4.8k

Warnings - smut

Don’t answer the door to anyone.

That’s what your mother had always told you growing up when on the rare occasions she would leave you home alone. The sound of the doorbell still sending shivers down your spine as in your mind it meant danger; however now you were living alone sometimes you had to answer the door.

Tonight was one of those times.

It had just gone half ten. You were in your pjs all ready to go get tucked up into bed when the unmistakable sound of the doorbell rang through your flat. Stopping you in your tracks almost instantly.

Who the hell could that be?

You had an idea, not wanting to open the door for them at all so you approached the door as quietly as you could in order to look through the peephole. Relief washing over you instantly as the person you wanted to see least was not on the other side of the door. In fact it was probably the last person you ever expected to see so you carefully stepped back and slowly opened the door.

‘Mason?’

‘H-hi y/n’

‘Is everything okay?’ You asked, picking up on demeanour instantly. Mason had always shy and reserved around you in the short time you’d known him but this was something different and you watched him gulp down a nervous lump before nodding.

‘Um yeah, well no actually I uh- sorry I just-‘

‘Would you like to come in?’ You interrupted, sensing he needed a little push and his eyes softened ever so slightly as he gave you a lopsided smile.

‘Please’ he nodded, so you moved to the side before leading him into the living room so he could take a seat on your sofa.

‘Can I get you anything?’

‘No thank you’ he replied, carefully sitting down and keeping his clasped hands in his lap. He was more nervous than usual and you were perplexed as to why he was here.

‘So, to what do I owe this pleasure’ you asked and you really wanted to know the answer. You and Mason weren’t exactly friends but you always felt like you could be. He was always sweet to you and once he had a drink down him, the pair of you had had some great conversations. He was kind and polite and always asked you questions about yourself but as soon as he was sober he was back to his usual shy self. You couldn’t tell if Mason had had a drink tonight but the way he was acting made you think he hadn’t.

‘It’s uh- it’s about Cam’

Cam.

Cam was your boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend as of yesterday but also one of Mason's very good friends. In fact Mason was just about the only one of his friends you could stand sometimes and you wondered why he bothered to keep them around.

‘Look if he’s sent you round to try and butter me up for something it won’t work. He ended things and I’m not gonna let him treat me like his plaything that he can pick up and put down whenever he wants. I’m done’

‘Wait what? You broke up? When?’ He asked, his face full of confusion and you could tell he really had no idea what was going on.

‘Yesterday’ you told him solemnly. ‘He came and got me from work. I thought he was taking me out to dinner or something but he told me he was done and just left me in the middle of town on my own I was humiliated’

‘Shit. I’m so sorry y/n’ he breathed, hands unclasping as if he was about to reach out and comfort you but in the end he decided against it.

‘It’s fine, I think it’s for the best anyway’ you shrugged, ‘I actually feel pretty alright, like he’s a bit of a twat thinking about it’

‘You can say that again’ he mumbled and you smiled before rolling your eyes. Hoping you could change the subject and find out why he was really here.

‘What can I do for you then?’

‘Oh um well it seems a little redundant now and I don’t wanna upset you any more than you are’ he explained but if it was about Cam you wanted to know.

‘No it’s okay. You came all this way it must be important’

‘Y/n I don’t think-‘

‘Please, Mason. I want to know’ you argued and after a short sharp exhale of air his eyes dropped to the floor so he could speak without looking at you.

‘Look y/n there’s no easy way to say this but… he’s been cheating on you’ he told you softly. ‘I found out about an hour ago. I think he knew I’d say something to you if I found out before but we were out and he was bragging about it a bit and he’s so drunk he showed me a video of him and this other girl, you know... Apparently it’s from a few months ago’ he told you sadly. ‘I just thought you deserved to know’

‘Oh’ you breathed, your whole body tingling as soon as the words settled into your skin. You can’t say the thought hadn’t crossed your mind that he would do that to you, but you never had any evidence that he had so you forgot about it and moved on. To now hear this coming from Mason was making your head spin and you weren't quite sure what to do with yourself.

Cam knew you were insecure at the best of times and even more so around other women but he always made out like you had nothing to worry about. Maybe his words had had a little less conviction lately but to know he’d lied to you like he had made you feel sick to your stomach and you had no idea what to say next.

‘Are you okay?’ Mason whispered, but you could only nod. Biting down on your bottom lip to stop your emotions from spilling out but he could obviously tell something wasn’t right. Carefully wrapping and arm around your shoulders in order to comfort you in some way and even though you could tell he was still a bit shy he let you melt into him as you turned and tucked your head into his neck. Needing comfort from where you could get it right now. ‘I’m so sorry’

‘It’s not your fault, you didn’t do it’ you laughed, hot tears falling from your eyes no matter how much you tried to sniff them away. ‘I don’t know why I’m crying, we’re over anyway so it’s not like it matters or I can do anything’

‘You’re allowed to be upset. You only broke up yesterday’ he told you softly and you allowed yourself to be sad for a little bit.

You didn’t talk, he just held you to him as he rubbed slow comforting circles into your skin with his thumbs as you played with the hem of his shirt. Wondering how you’d got here and why Mason was in your flat in the first place. He was Cam's friend and as much as you appreciated his honesty needed some answers.

‘Why are you here Mase?’

‘I told you. You deserve to know’

‘But why? You’re Cams friend. Don’t your priorities lie with him?’

‘Not at all. Not when it comes to this’ he said softly and you felt yourself nuzzling into him further as he held you to him. As much as Cam had proved to you people can be shit, Mason was everything he wasn’t and had slightly restored your faith in men a little bit by the way he was comforting you.

You both fell quiet again, just sat there listening to each other's breathing as he held you together. Your thoughts running away from you as you thought over your time with Cam and your sadness began to turn to anger quickly. He’d lured you in, just like they always do, and once he was bored he went behind your back before tossing you aside.

You liked Cam, you wanted to make it work and maybe you put up with more than you should have in hopes you could turn things around. Only realising in the last few months of your relationship that you could probably do better than what he was offering to you. But you held on to the idea of the boy you once knew, in hopes that maybe you could change him.

Leopards rarely do change their spots though.

You felt low. Lower than low in fact. Not wanting to give Cam the power of making you feel like shit but you weren’t sure how to feel any differently right now. Tears stinging the backs of your eyes again as it all hit you and you couldn’t stop the words tumbling out of your mouth.

‘Do you ever wish you could be someone else?’ You whispered ‘like just for a day? I just wanna be enough for someone, you know? For myself even at this point’

‘Hey, stop that’ he whispered. Moving slightly so he could look into your glassy eyes and the look on his face made your heart swell in your chest. ‘I promise you, you’re more than enough. I never got why you were with him in the first place like you’re so far out his league’ he told you, a small chuckle falling from your lips as he wiped your eyes gently. ‘I’m serious, I know he’s my mate but he’s an arsehole. You deserve so much better’

‘I’m just really angry’ you laughed bitterly. ‘I wanna get him back so badly. Like make him feel like shit too. Not just for cheating on me but for all of it. Make him hurt like I hurt’

Mason was silent but you could tell he wanted to say something and when you looked up at him he was smiling down at you shyly.

‘What’s going on in that little brain of yours Mase?’

‘Firstly, it’s not little’ he winked and even though you knew he was talking about his brain you still blushed at his words. ‘And secondly, I may have an idea’

‘Oh yeah?’ You laughed, turning to face him and you didn’t miss the subtle bite of his lip.

‘Call me insane but If I was you I’d fight fire with a little more fire’

‘I don’t understand’

‘Do to him he’s done to you. I get you’re over but he didn’t tell anyone that tonight and was making out you were still his. Show him you’re not’

‘You mean… get with someone else?’

‘Precisely. And let’s say evidence or something gets sent to him to prove it then that’s just a bonus’ he laughed and you could’t help but like the idea. Sure it was insane but you were past the point of acting rationally.

‘Okay, let’s say I want to do that. I’m never gonna find someone quick enough for it to hurt him in time’

‘Well I know one person who would be happy to do it right now’ he winked. Surely he didn’t mean himself but after you raised your brows at him he gave you a subtle nod.

‘Are you serious?’ You laughed and even though he was smiling himself, you knew he was. ‘Why Mase? What’s in this for you? I know he’s not your favourite person in the world but damn’

‘I have my reasons’ he chuckled, eyes falling into his lap. ‘Two years ago, before you were on the scene, I was talking to this girl for a few weeks and I really fucking liked her. Her name was Juliet' he confirmed and the name struck a chord with you instantly.

‘Cam’s ex was called Juliet’

‘Exactly. Took her from right under my nose and has never let me forget it’ he told you and you nodded lightly.

‘So it’s like payback for you?’

‘I guess so, yeah. But that’s not all this is to me though, you know that right?’ He reassured you, threading his fingers through yours gently. ‘I like you. A lot. I know you’re not supposed to fancy your mates girl but fuck… everytime I saw you I wished I’d got there first somehow’ he confessed with a laugh and suddenly his nervous behaviour all clicked into place. He wasn’t shy, he just liked you and the thought made you blush. ‘That’s why I’ve not ever been able to speak to you properly before, not when I’m sober at least. You scare the shit out of me and I knew I’d fall for you. I’m not like him and I’d never do what he did so I kept away from you but I’ve always liked you. I’ve just had enough of sitting by and watching him treat you like crap when you deserve so much more’

‘So this is a bit of a win win for you huh?’ You teased, watching his face turn red as he nodded shyly.

‘We don’t have to, maybe it’s going a bit far but it’s just an idea. I get you won’t have the same feelings towards me but I’m not all bad’ he chuckled but you just found his self deprecating side endearing.

‘I’m up for giving it go if you are’ you whispered, hand reaching over to touch his arm and you watched the goosebumps rise up almost instantly on his skin. ‘You know if we do this though, that’s it for you and him’

‘I know’ he winked. ‘I’m kinda counting on it’ he laughed and one look at his lips as he smiled made you want to kiss him instantly.

‘Come on then lover boy’ you laughed, swinging your legs over his lap so you could get close to him. ‘How about we just kiss first, see where that takes us?’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Positive’ you winked, resting you hands on his chest but he made no move to try and get closer to you. ‘Are you still sure?’

‘Yeah, sorry. I’ve just thought about doing this a million times before but I never thought it would happen’ he told you softly and his words made you melt. ‘God I feel so awkward’ he laughed his hands resting on your waist as you cupped his jaw and you knew you’d have to make the first move as he was starting to loose it a bit so without thinking about it too much you lent forward and placed your lips on his.

You thought it might feel a bit wrong, kissing Mason like this but he made you feel more in this one exchange than Cam had in months. A shiver rolling down you spine as he moved his mouth against yours like it was something you did everyday. It felt natural and you didn’t want part from him anytime soon so you held him to you even tighter until he began to smile.

‘You don’t know how long I’ve waited for that’ he whispered against your lips, making you giggle before pulling your face back to his so you could kiss him again. Deeper this time as he slipped his tongue inside your mouth and you moaned at the feel of it.

He was a good kisser. He knew exactly when to speed up or slow down, he was gentle with you but still strong and you could feel your insides churning as his hands began to explore your body.

You weren’t sure if it was the thrill of what you were doing or just Mason himself but you hadn’t felt this turned on in a long time so when he began to slide his hands lower to grip your bum you let a low moan fall from your lips before moving to straddle his waist. He was looking up at you like he was in awe and the low groan that spilled from his lips as you peeled your shirt from your body gave you more of a confidence boost than anything else ever had.

‘You still wanna do this?’ He breathed, tearing his eyes away from your bare chest to look into your eyes and make sure you were 100% happy. ‘You can back out whenever, yeah? Just say stop and I will’

‘I wanna do it’ you confirmed, his soft eyes lighting up before he was getting serious again.

‘Only if you’re sure. Even if you just wanna get a picture or whatever and stop we can’ he told you but before you could reply your hands were reaching for his own shirt. Legs almost giving way at the sight of his body laid out underneath you. You’d never seen anything like it and couldn’t help but reach out to trail your fingertips over him. Pride filling you as you watched his muscles dance under his skin but the little smattering of hair that trailed into his jeans had your mouth watering.

‘I think I wanna suck your dick’ you blurted out. Your mouth running away with you before you’d even thought about what you were saying but it’s like you were in this lust filled trance and all you could think about was being in between Masons thighs.

‘Jesus Christ, y/n’ he groaned, helping you off of him so you could settle in between his legs and as soon as your hands reached for his fly he helped rid himself of them as you took his boxers off with them. Letting him sit there bare infront of you and you could tell he was a little unsure of himself. He had no reason to be though, you’d never been so turned on by just looking at someone before so you quickly dropped your shorts so he didn’t feel as self conscious before climbing back into his lap.

‘I don’t want a picture, I want you to film me’

‘Are you sure?’ He laughed, taking your phone from your hand before opening up the camera and sliding along to the video setting.

‘It doesn't have to be anything long, just a few seconds’ you confirmed and once you were settled back between his thighs he met out a shuddery breath. ‘Can I start? Or do you need a minute?’

‘Go ahead’ he chuckled but you could tell he was a little apprehensive so you went slowly. Kissing over his thighs as you took him in your hand to hopefully get him hard but there was no need. He was ready for you so you quickly licked your lips and took him into your mouth.

The breath he let out at the feel of you made your thighs clench together as you slowly got to work, hands gripping his thighs as you bobbed up and down on him until you felt his hand in your hair. You looked up at him through your lashes and his dark eyes were staring back at yours before he finally hit the record button, taking him in as far as you could whilst working the rest with you hand as your mouth moved.

You’d never been this into it before, hoping that would come across on camera as you made Mason feel good before you heard the video end and he placed your phone to the side of him.

‘I’ve got the video’ he told you through a moan, hand in your hair to grab your attention and when he was able to pull you off you both were looking at each other with wide eyes.

‘Can we carry on?’ You panted, not having nearly enough of him yet even though you’d gotten what you needed from him technically but you felt like you were just getting started.

‘You want to?’ He asked, a bewildered look on his face but you nodded shyly. Itching to feel him in some way so when he lent forward and his hands made contact with your hips you stood up so you could straddle him again. Your core now pressed up against his length and the feel of it made whimper.

‘Please Mase’ you whispered, biting your lip but he didn’t move. In the end you simply reached down and took him in your hand, lining him up with yourself to see if he would react and the subtle push of his hips into you let you know he wanted this just as much. So you gave him what you both wanted, sinking down onto him and the feeling was like nothing you’d felt before.

‘God, you feel insane’ he groaned, holding your waist and you lent to pick up your phone so you could watch the video quickly. You could just about tell it was you but there was no way you could tell it was Mason and watching him disappear into your mouth just made you want to grind down on him.

Without thinking too much about it you sent it to Cam, withholding your number so he couldn’t tell it was from you before turning your attention back to Mason who was looking back up at you with a cheeky smirk.

‘You ready?’ He whispered but you responded with your hips. Rolling them forward and watching his eyes disappear in the back of his head somewhere before you began to bounce on him. His hands guiding you just how he pleased but the sound of your phone continuously pinging made you pick it up in hopes Cam had seen your little surprise.

‘Mase he sounds pissed. And he’s calling me’

‘So answer it’

‘I- fuck, I don’t know’

‘He wants to talk so lets talk. Put it on loud speaker so I can hear’ he mumbled so you did as he asked, hitting the answer button without a second thought before putting it on loud speaker.

‘H-hello?’

‘Y/n, what the hell is going on?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘What’s wrong with you? Why did you send me that video? I know it’s you so don’t deny it’

‘I’m not’ you told him, trying to hold your moans in but Mason was hitting you in all the right places and making it difficult for you to hold back.

‘When was the video taken?’

‘About three minutes ago’ you confirmed, followed by a whimper as Mason bounced you up and down even harder. ‘Hurts doesn’t it’

‘You’re fucking insane’

‘I’m fucking something, but he’s not insane’ you laughed, feeling Mason rest his forehead on your shoulder as he tried to hold in the giggles himself.

‘Wait, what? Are you with them right now?’

‘Unlike you I had the decency to wait until we were over before fucking someone else but yeah he’s here’

‘Tell me who it is’ he bellowed down the phone, your eyes on Mason's dark ones but you could see the mischievous twinkle in his eye.

‘You really wanna know, huh?’ You teased, a shuddery breath falling from your lips before you went for it. ‘Fuck Mase, that’s it right there’ you told him, feeling his hands wander up to your chest so he could palm them gently.

‘Mase? I swear to god, y/n-‘

‘What, Cam? You can’t do shit. I’m not yours anymore, remember. But you were mine when you decided to do the same with someone else. This is just payback’

‘You’re lying. This has to be a joke’

‘Fuck, y/n’ you suddenly heard Mason moan as you slightly adjusted your hips. ‘Did he ever make you feel this good baby?’ He asked with a wink.

‘Nuh uh, you’re so big Masey’

‘That’s it’s, who's making you feel this good huh?’

‘You are, Mase. F-fuck I’m so close’

‘You hear that mate? Or do you need another video to be sure?’ Mason laughed before attaching his lips to your neck.

‘Fuck you’ Cam suddenly spat and with that he hung up the call.

You threw your phone to the side, focus entirely on Mason and the way he was making you feel so when he suddenly stopped your hips you were confused.

‘Lay down for me?’ He asked, one hand reaching up to settle on your lower back as he adjusted both of your positions and you let him move you so you were laid down. Him towering over you now as his eyes raked over you hungrily. ‘You’re perfect, you know that right?’ He told you seriously and you felt a shiver roll down your spine.

‘Mase, I-‘

‘Cam, and any other prick who made you feel like you weren’t enough. I want you to forget them, yeah? Just focus on me’ he told you, but you couldn’t look away even if you wanted to. His eyes had captivated you and you were both trapped in each other's stare as he lent his forehead gently on yours before pushing himself back in.

You let him control the tempo this time. One hand by your head to hold himself up as the other travelled right to where you needed him to be. Rubbing slow circles on your clit as he slowly pounded into you.

This felt different to any sex you’d ever had. He was focused on you, making sure you felt good first before he let himself go and before long his name was falling from your lips as you clenched tightly around him. Your high coursing it’s way through your veins as he made you feel like no one else ever had.

You let him slump down on top of you, his weight feeling comforting as he slowly traced shapes on to your ribs and even though his breath was ticking your neck you swore you would've laid there for a lifetime. Just soaking in each other’s presence and comfort and you got your breath back.

‘That video, he won’t use it against you will he?’ Mason asked quietly. Almost as if he didn’t want to disturb your peace but you just smiled and you brushed your hand through his hair.

‘I shouldn’t think so. He knows I have a fair few pictures of him that he wouldn’t want anyone to see so he’ll keep it to himself’

‘Pictures of what?’ He asked with a laugh and you had to bite back a smile as you pictured them in your head.

‘Let’s say they involve fluffy handcuffs and rabbit ears. Not worn by me though’

‘Ah okay’ he chuckled, face nestling down in your neck again and you couldn’t get over how cute he was or how much comfort his touch bought you and you couldn’t help yourself from placing a few soft kisses to his hairline. ‘When you’re ready, do you think maybe I could take you out?’ He asked quietly, that shy tone lace throughout his voice again and your heart squeezed at the way he was still nervous around you.

‘How does next Tuesday sound?’

‘I’m serious’ he laughed. ‘I’m happy to wait for you, you know that right? Cause yeah this was fun and whatever but i do actually care about you. I know this is probably all new and a bit weird for you so I’m happy to wait or we can hang out a bit more and see what happens?’ He offered and you felt warm at his kind and considerate he was.

‘I’d like that’

‘Really?’ He asked, his voice sounding shocked before he leant up to look at you.

‘Yeah, I mean I’m not blind Mason. I’ve always thought you were handsome and a nice person and I get why you were a little shy with me now. If anything you’re probably way too good for me-‘

‘Stop that’ he huffed, ticking your side as he looked at you with a pout. ‘I don’t like it when you say stuff like that about yourself’

‘Sorry’ you whispered, but his face softened instantly.

‘Just give me some time, yeah? I promise I’ll show you that you’re more than enough, Not just for me but for anyone. I’ve never done anything like this before, you know? Like swooped right but I just don’t wanna miss this opportunity when I know I could make you so happy’

His words made your eyes fill with tears. Never had anyone wanted to fight for you like this so you gently pulled him back down to you so you could place a gentle kiss to his lips. Feeling him smile against you as he deepened it but he was pulling back soon after. Not wanting to push things too far.

‘I might need a little time too. But I think we can make this work’ you told him softly and the reassuring smile he gave you melted your insides. ‘Will you stay tonight?’

‘Are you sure?’ He asked, dropping his forehead on yours but you knew you couldn’t be without him now so you nodded lightly. Nose brushing up against his gently before he planted a quick heavy kiss on your lips.

‘Please. I don’t want you to go’

‘Okay’ he smiled. ‘I’m all yours’

Thank you so much for reading 🩷 I really hope you’d enjoyed it and I’d love to know what you thought 😘