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springwitch8 · 9 months ago

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your writing is so fucking hot and perfect! pls can I request a fic where mel ends up getting possessive and jealous after seeing someone hitting on her girlfriend (reader) at abbott and when they get home, melissa makes sure that her girl knows that belongs to her and nobody else.

(featuring a lot of rough sex and some cute aftercare cuz we all love jealous schemmenti. 🤭)

a dangerous emotion (melissa schemmenti x fem!reader)

summary: when the new substitute teacher hits on you in front of melissa, you face the dirty consequences of her jealousy.

warnings: smut (18+), jealous sex, aggressive male flirting, mel threatens violence (it's melissa), squirting, like one mention of marking

notes: the sleepy witch is back. hope you like this one anon, sorry if i left it in the oven too long. also sorry for any other deficiencies tbh writing is a struggle rn. bonus points to whoever can spot the gay joke 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 friendly fire.

if looks could kill, this fucking guy would be a pile of ash by now.

the teachers' lounge was uncharacteristically quiet. the tv had been muted; nobody cared to watch the morning news. all eyes flickered between you and the new male teacher on one side of the room, and your seething girlfriend on the other.

the redhead was visibly furious from the moment he walked in the door, eyes dragging down your body in your flowery sundress and matching tights.

"happy first day to me," he murmured to himself, thinking nobody would hear it. it took all of melissa's self-control and professionalism not to punch his lights out.

"spring looks good on you, sweetie," he drawled from behind you as you poured coffee from the communal pot into your favorite mug.

the hem of your dress floated up as you spun around to face him, and he licked his lips. you didn't notice it, but melissa did. her hands tightened into fists in her lap.

"thank you," you smiled warmly at the man in an attempt to be polite. he was tall and stocky, probably just a few years older than you. he seemed like the kind of guy who was used to getting whatever he wanted from women—with his handsome yet cocky grin and large arms crossed in front of his chest. "are you new here?"

"yep, and i like what i see already," he threw you a wink and you looked down at the floor. you heard melissa cracking her knuckles in the background. she only did that when she was holding back, either from pouncing on you or swinging at somebody else. "i'm jesse. i'll be teachin' math up on the second floor until ms. summers gets back from maternity leave."

"well, jesse, welcome to abbott," you said sweetly, hoping to escape this conversation and join your girlfriend on the couch. "i'm a first-grade teacher, so i won't be seeing you much. but it's nice to meet y—"

"actually, i was hoping you'd show me around," he cut you off, taking a few steps toward you. "if i get lost in this building, my preteen students will never let me live it down."

"oh, um..."

before you could finish your thought, he leaned in and whispered something in your ear. melissa saw the whole exchange, enraged at this man's audacity to even breathe in your direction. you were her girl. everybody knew that. and it was time for this guy to learn.

but when melissa stood up to confront him, you did something that made her see red: you walked out with him. the other teachers noticed her anger, of course, and tried to calm her down.

"melissa, relax," barbara said, gently pulling on her best friend's hand and guiding her to sit back down. "he's harmless."

"harmless?" melissa repeated indignantly. "barb, he was lookin' at her like he wanted to bend her over the damn table!"

"you look at her like that all the time..." gregory muttered, and melissa raised an eyebrow at him in accusation. he shrugged and averted his gaze.

"i look at her like i love her!" melissa insisted. "and she's my girlfriend. i get to look at her however i want. this jamie—"

"jesse," janine corrected.

"—can't just walk in and start undressin' her with his eyes!"

"if it helps, i can keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn't do anything untoward," jacob offered. "i'm pretty much the big dog on the second floor these days. i can set him straight if it comes to that."

"you couldn't even set yourself straight," melissa fired back, and jacob gave the camera a defeated look. "what, you think i can't handle this myself?"

"well, it's just that... jealousy is a dangerous emotion on you," jacob answered tentatively.

"jealousy? what am i, some kinda teenager? i don't get jealous."

"i don't know, you seemed pretty jealous at pecsa last year when the keynote speaker gave y/n his room number," gregory pointed out.

"he was just annoying."

"you poured your math-a-rita on his white suit jacket," janine chimed in.

"the jabroni shouldn't have worn white to a bar!"

"melissa, i know you're protective of y/n, but she's a grown woman capable of making her own decisions," barbara said, placing a comforting hand over the redhead's clenched fists. "she doesn't seem to have a problem with the man. at some point, you just need to trust her judgment."

"yeah, she and i are going to have a little conversation about her judgment when she gets back."

"whose judgment?" you asked as you strode back into the break room, jesse following close behind.

when your question was met with silence and anxious looks from your friends, jesse took hold of your hand and brought it to his lips.

"thanks for the tour, cutie," he said after pressing a chaste kiss to the back of your hand.

"thank you," you replied, shifting uneasily and look over your shoulder in anticipation of melissa's reaction. she didn't keep you waiting long.

"hey, hon," melissa approached the two of you, then hooked an arm around your waist and pulled you close. "the kids'll be here in half an hour, do you wanna go prep your classroom for the science lab?"

"i did that last night," you replied, not taking the hint.

"of course you did," mel cooed and planted a kiss behind your ear. jesse quirked an eyebrow in confusion. "maybe i just want some alone time with my lovely girlfriend before i start my day. that okay with you?"

you nodded sheepishly and leaned in to her. you could feel her possessive anger in her tough grip on your waist, could see it in the subtle wild edge to her green eyes. despite being in deep trouble, you still relaxed into the warmth of her casual touch and the familiar scent of patchouli on her skin.

jesse took a step back, opening his mouth as if to say something and sighing instead. as you and melissa exited the breakroom, jesse tried one more time to get your attention.

"hey, if you need any more—"

"i think we're good, janine," melissa cut him off with a dismissive gesture.

"it's jesse," the man sighed with a frustrated look at the camera.

---

"what the hell was that, huh?" melissa had you pinned up against her classroom door before you could even process what was happening. "you're givin' free tours now?"

"n-no!" you stammered frantically, squirming with unease (and excitement) at the fiery confrontation. "not free! i only did it so he would give me the extra chairs from his classroom. you know i've been down a few since the eighth graders tried to make 'chairing' a thing, and i can't let my kids spend another day on the floor. it's not fair!"

"how many times have i told you, i can get you anything you need?"

"yeah, and where's your 'chair guy' now? at least jesse can finish the job!"

oh, you fucked up. you knew it the moment the words left your mouth. melissa eased off of you physically, but her intense glare kept you frozen in place.

"we'll talk about this when we get home. i love you; don't forget it," melissa pecked your cheek and you cocked your head, confused at her sudden tranquility. she moved to whisper in your ear. "because tonight, i'm takin' all my jealousy out on you."

---

you had the misfortune of running into jesse one more time before the day was done. he wolf-whistled from behind you as you walked briskly from your classroom to the lobby, ready to meet melissa and head home.

melissa might have broken his nose if jacob and gregory hadn't been there to hold her back. in fact, she was a split-second away from swinging when jacob took hold of her dominant wrist, shaking his head. gregory followed suit with the other.

the redhead tried to wrench her arms free and glared sternly at the young men when she couldn't. sensing her frustration, you hurried over to her. melissa's gaze softened as soon as she saw you leaning over the counter. you gave jacob and gregory an appreciative nod.

the pair let go of her arms and you took her hands in yours. "let's go home," you said.

the two of you walked out of the building as jacob and gregory approached jesse.

"she's not interested, if you're still wondering," jacob said, patting jesse's shoulder in mock sympathy.

"should be pretty obvious by now," gregory added.

"first day, and you pissed off my scariest teacher and my favorite?" ava said while strutting out of her office. "nice career move, jason," she snarked. the teachers gave her a bewildered look. "what? i pay attention!"

---

once you got home, it all happened in a blur. melissa's possessive rage had you slipping into that fuzzy, pliable headspace before she even slammed the bedroom door behind you.

you couldn't concentrate on much besides her forceful touch, fingers digging into your hips and mouth sucking bruises into your neck. her low voice cut through the static occasionally, but she seemed to be venting to herself rather than you.

"mine..." her fingernails dug into the flesh of your waist. "touchin' my girl..." she spaced out the words between nips to your neck. "gotta mark you up, let the whole world know..." she landed a hard swat on your ass, then shoved you off of her. "on the bed."

---

"remind me again what he said when you spilled coffee on your shirt," melissa growled from above you. you were spread out on her bed, naked with your legs kept apart by turquoise ropes tied to the bedposts.

"he said, 'feel free to take it off. i wouldn't complain about the view,'" you whispered back.

"and you just let that slide, hm? you entertained him knowin' all he wanted was an eyeful of your tits?"

"yes, melissa."

"i'm sorry, does someone need a reminder of who owns her? i'm happy to provide, sweet girl. tell me," she dipped a finger into your folds and stroked you lightly, "who gets you this wet?"

"you do, ah, only you," you whimpered as she caressed you.

"uh-huh," she cooed, sounding unsatisfied still. "that's right, baby. and i'm the only one who gets to see you like this."

she gripped your hips harshly before gliding her hands up to your chest. she kneaded the swollen flesh of your tits and then zeroed in on your nipples, tweaking and tugging on them.

"that fucker," melissa began, breathing heavily. "will never know how soft these are."

you shook your head in frantic agreement as she massaged you. one of her hands slipped down between your legs again.

"he'll never hear how your breath catches in your throat when your clit's touched," she whispered, beginning to rub soft circles into your bundle of nerves. "or—" she withdrew suddenly and gave your pussy a swat, "how you cry at a spanking."

her jealous attitude had you soaked and sensitive. you were already close when she brought two fingers to your entrance and pushed in.

"and if he ever even imagines the face you make when you come, that pretty little lip bite you do," melissa pumped and curled her fingers roughly, "i'll take edith houghton to'm."

her speed quickly picked up and soon she was diving into you with force, bullying your g-spot with her fingertips.

"come. now," she ordered, and you fell over the edge. you spasmed around her fingers as she drove them in and out of you. she smirked with pride as she looked down at you.

but when you got too sensitive and started to squirm away from her touch, she doubled down. she pumped her fingers faster, and dipped down to suckle on your clit. you cried out. it felt like you were on fire, but the burn was oh so delicious.

"and he'll never guess what happens when you get all sensitive..." she picked her head up momentarily to say this before sucking hard on your nub and crooking her fingers inside you.

you felt the burn rise into a hot tidal wave. a flood of warm liquid spilled out of you. melissa helped you through it before withdrawing her touch, her hands retreating to your thighs. she looked down at you fondly, smiling with only a tiny bit of smug satisfaction.

"god, i love when you do that," she mused, smiling at your dazed, pretty, happy face. "it's like a gift just for me."

a gift. happy first day to me, he had said.

now reminded, melissa was pissed again. but the venom of her jealousy had trickled away, and now all that remained was an urgent need to give you the love and care you deserved.

"but you said somethin' earlier about 'finishing the job.' and i just feel like my job isn't finished, sweetheart," she smiled and cupped your cheeks. "how's a bubble bath sound?"

"mm-hmmm," you managed, fucked out and delirious.

---

"i really wasn't jealous, ya know," melissa murmured into your ear as you snuggled into bed, her chest pressed against your back.

"i find that hard to believe. i mentioned his name and you ripped my panties," you teased.

"okay, maybe a little bit."

"30 percent?"

"20."

"25."

"fine."

"then what was the other 75 percent?"

"i guess it just pisses me off when people don't treat you right. you're a beautiful angel, not a sex doll."

"i don't want you to feel... to feel like you have to take care of me all the time."

"baby girl, you know i don't do things i don't wanna do. you're the love of my life. i wanna spend every minute treatin' you like a princess."

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti fanfic #fanfic #abbott elementary fanfic #wlw smut #melissa schemmenti x y/n #melissa schemmenti smut #melissa schemmenti x you

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batboyblog · 8 months ago

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Things Biden and the Democrats did, this week #15

April 19-26 2024

President Biden appeared along side Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Senators Ed Markey and Bernie Sanders to announce major climate action. Biden announced a program, Solar For All, 7 billion dollars aimed at supporting low income house holds install solar power in their homes. The program will support 900,000 households across the country getting solar. Lower the average energy bill for a family by $400 a month and avoid more than 30 million metric tons of carbon pollution over the next 25 years. The boost in solar installation will help create 200,000 new jobs across the country. The President also announced the launch of the Climate Conservation Crops. modeled on FDR's Civilian Civilian Conservation Corps and JFK's Peace Corps, Biden's Climate Conservation Crops will be a program where young people can connect with climate projects across the country and be paid to help protect the planet. The Corps will be 20,000 strong, with 2,000 openings listed right now on their webpage across 36 states DC and Puerto Rico.

The Department of Labor finalized a new rule on overtime. Currently employers are only required to pay overtime to workers making under $35,568. Under the new ruling that will be raised to workers making $43,888, and in January 2025 raised again to workers making $58,656 and under. This will bring overtime pay to 4 million more workers and transfer $1.5 billion from the pockets of companies to workers. It also fixes to raise the level with inflation every 3 years starting in 2027.

The EPA announced a $1 billion dollar program to help replace heavily duty vehicles with clean energy versions. There are currently 3 million class 6 and 7 vehicles, school buses, box trucks dump trucks, street sweepers, delivery trucks, bucket trucks, and utility trucks, in use. 70% of the funds will go to replacing School Buses with Clean energy buses and the remaining 30% will go to replacing Vocational Vehicles like dump trucks and street sweepers. Heavy Duty vehicles on top of green house cases release harmful nitrogen oxide and fine particulate matter and replacing them will not only combat climate change but improve public health.

The Department of Interior took actions to protect 13 million acres of Alaska wild land is protected and to secure the livelihood of Alaska Native peoples who rely on this land. The Administration refused oil and mining rights on the vast areas of Alaska land as well as a 210 miles road through the northern wildernesses. This area represents valuable habitat for caribou and endangered polar bears, as well as millions of migrating birds.

The Department of Transportation announced finalized rules requiring airlines to give automatic cash refunds for canceled flights and other inconvenience. The refunds will be automatic meaning passengers will not have apply for them, prompt the airlines are required to refund a credit card purchase in 7 days, and require repayment in full and in kind, airlines can not substitute travel vouchers for cash. The DOT also announced new rules to protect airline travelers from junk fees, airlines and ticket agents must now clearly tell travelers upfront about all fees so no one is surprised by a hidden fee.

The EPA announced finalized rules on emissions standards for fuel burning power plants. The new rules include a tightening of Mercury and Air Toxics Standards, requiring a 70% reduction in mercury. It also had rules protecting ground water, new rules will require coal powered plants to remove 660 million pounds per year of pollutants discharged through wastewater, and for the first time federally regulates the dumping of coal ash, requiring safe dump sites that will not leak into ground water. Finalized rules require coal fired and new natural gas-fired power plants to capture up to 90% of their carbon pollution

Security of Transportation Pete Buttigieg attended the ground breaking of a new high speed rail project to connect Los Angeles and Las Vegas. The Biden Administration announced 3 billion to support the project 5 months ago. At 218 of all electric green rail the project promises to be the fastest way to get from LA to Las Vegas. Planned to open in 2028 just in time for the LA Olympics it is the first of many planned high speed rail projects. The Biden Administration has promised $66 billion for high speed rail and the largest single investment in Amtrak ever.

The FCC announced a new rule restoring Net Neutrality. Net Neutrality requires internet service pervaders to treat all websites equally and not slow certain ones now or speed others. In 2015 under Obama the FCC passed a rule requiring Net Neutrality. However in 2017, the FCC spread headed by Trump appointed Chair Ajit Pai repealed the rules. A patchwork of Democratic controlled states, lead by California passed state level laws requiring Net Neutrality forcing ISPs to de facto keep it in place. Late last year President Biden got the opportunity to replace Pai on the FCC, giving the FCC a 3 to 2 Democratic majority which voted this week to return to the Obama era rules and protect Net Neutrality nationwide.

The FTC passed finalized regulations to ban noncompete agreements in nearly all cases. These agreements, which cover 18% of American workers, about 30 million people, prohibit workers from joining or creating competing companies for a certain period of time. The FTC estimates that workers will earn an average of $524 dollars a year more and up to 8,500 new businesses will be created each year. The new rule will still allow noncompete for senior executives who make up less than 1% of the work force. Like with the FCC, two out of the 3 FTC commissioners who voted for the new rules are Biden appointees.

The Departments of Health and Human Services and Interior have announced a joint, $1 billion project to connect tribal communities to safe drinking water. Roughly half of Tribal households lack access to clean drinking water or adequate sanitation.

At the White House The Biden Administration announced plans to protect, restore and reconnect 8 million acres of wetlands and 100,000 miles of rivers and streams. This effort will include state, local and tribal government as well as private efforts along with the federal government to protect and restore the nations freshwater environments.

The Department of Health and Human Services announced a new rule boosting privacy protection for abortions. Republicans in states like Alabama, Texas, Oklahoma and Idaho have tried to make it a crime to leave the state to seek an abortion in a state where it is legal. The new federal rule would make it illegal for health information to be shared in these cases

Vice-President Harris announced a new rule requiring staffing standards at Nursing Homes across the country. The new rules will require registered nurses on duty 24 hours, seven days a week. This represents the first time the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services have required specific numbers of nurses and aides in Nursing Homes that get Medicare and Medicaid funding.

The Biden Administration Announced a $6 billion deal with tech giant Micron to bring high tech manufacturing to New York. The deal is expected to see Micron invest $100 billion in Syracuse New York area as well as build a factory in Boise, Idaho. The deal will create 70,000 new jobs. It is part of the Biden Administration's effort to bring high tech chip manufacturing to America.

The Department of Education finalized the most comprehensive federal protections for Trans and other Queer students in the nation's history. The rules also overturn Trump era rules on how colleges should handle sexual assault and harassment.

#Thanks Biden #Joe Biden #climate change #trans rights #abortion rights #overtime #net neutrality #high speed rail #green energy #electric vehicles #busy fucking week #sorry for formatting change #so many things

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dangermousie · 5 months ago

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Middle (sort of) of 2024 list - cdrama edition.

Yeah I realize it's neither the end of the year, nor half a year, but what's the point of being predictable? It's also gonna make my end of year post easier. This is only going to cover cdramas that aired in 2024; if I watched it but it was made in a different year, it’s not on the list.

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

42 My Divine Emissary - it's actually a pretty good drama year when the worst cdrama I've checked out this year is merely utterly shrill and brain dead but not horrifyingly offensive to good taste.

41 Fight for Love - they had wonderful actors and a great premise and utterly wasted it. There might someday be a good drama about a female general torn between a royal and an enemy general but this ain't it.

40 Peacock in Wonderland - I am a few decades too old for this brain dead fest but I am glad Zhou Jun Wei is not canceled at least.

39 Her Fantastic Adventures - honestly, this, MDE and Revenger are all the same type of subgenre - they aren't offensive they are just as empty as air. This also suffers from casting an utter dud as ML and a charisma boat as SML. Why?

38 Lady Revenger Returns from the Fire - the main thing I remember from this is that Miles Wei must have stolen the wig maker's parking spot. That wig is the one that should have gone into the fire.

37 Your Trap/Imprisoned Love - the plot of this mini made no sense but the softcore vibes of sanitized 1990s cinemax were on point!

36 Fox Matchmaker: The Red Moon Pact - it's so pretty, so full of gorgeous costumes and actors and I enjoyed the first few eps, but ultimately it was like watching colorful paint dry. It was so dull, I couldn't even hate watch it, and that is more damning than anything.

35 The Unexpected Marriage - cutesy dumb period romcom. Could be worse, not that this is much of a praise.

34 Love’s Rebellion - so twee, so precious, so full of cutesy awful CGI and actors who aren't bothering. I am not sure why Zhang Linghe and Jing Tian are in this mess that looks like rainbow vomited on a xianxia set.

33 My Wife's Double Life - her life may be double but her brain is only half.

32 Jade's Fateful Love - I lost some braincells trying this one, but (a) it's gorgeous and (b) no transmigration say you? Multiple transmigration in first ep alone! Good for you, makers!

31 Follow My Heart - how do you have Luo Yunxi, Song Yi and Cheng Lei and waste them so utterly? First few eps were nice and then it's like exercise in how much you can tolerate before you call it quits.

30 Sword and Fairy 4 - it's kinda a mess but I loved the actors and some of the plots and you can do worse.

29 Blossoms in Adversity - dumb as a set of particularly dumb bricks and ML I don't think could act if his life depended on it, but it was strangely addictive and I watched it often before better dramas. It's just a genuinely good time somehow!

28 Judge Dee - it's not you it's me in action. It's smart and gorgeous and well acted, I just don't do procedurals.

27 The Substitute Princess’ Love - it's like some of those trashy web novels I enjoy. It was clearly cut, its budget was equivalent to loose change found in the pockets of makes of Fox Spirit Matchmaker, but it was a surprisingly fun watch, though I enjoyed the first half better than the second. Also as a drama old, it was a fun blast from the past seeing Dylan Kuo (if you have never watched the old twdrama The Outsiders, what are you even doing with your life?)

26 Rise from the Ashes - a wacky as hell mini where reborn FL wreaks revenge with help of her fake uncle as they carry on as some sort of Borgia/Phillip II of Spain fame hybrid. If you don't need to use your brain, you could have a worse time.

25 The Legend of Heroes - it suffered from me seeing other versions of this tale before that I liked more and not loving how dark looking it is but that cast is A+ and Wang Hongyi was a revelation as Yang Kang.

24 Beauty Strategy - a mini of what a few years ago would have been a proper angsty drama of palace scheming enemies while lovers, powerless emperor etc etc. Honestly, I loved it.

23 Lovesickness - this year's gender-reversed Ancient Love Song, not as artistic or good but still a good time about a woman traveling back in time and falling for a powerful but doomed duke.

22 Fragments of Kylin - demon slayer falls for a demon; this one came out of nowhere and didn't have much of a budget but is surprisingly lovely.

21 Enslaved by Love - the only reason it's not the most fucked up drama on this list is because Shadow Sect, Palace Shadows and Burning Flames exist. The ML is toxic enough to be banned by the Geneva convention but FL does get some of her own back and also if you ever wanted to see blindness curing sex, boy do I have a drama for you!

20 Secrets of the Shadow Sect - head of sect lady and her very very subby bodyguard. What's not to love?

19 Palace Shadows: Between Two Princes - ML pretends to be his own twin, bdsm and sluttiness ensues. I cannot even explain how wild this drama is but the acting is on point and way way fun!

18 Dashing Youth - I had no expectations of this drama (either indifferent to or dislike everyone in the cast, wuxia and wuxia-adjacent is rarely my genre, the number of characters is huge) but I loved how under its bright colors, it eventually gets very dark (it's quite old school that way) and somehow I am invested in everyone in the huge cast. This being a prequel to The Blood of Youth makes us know the fates of many of the characters and this adds the air of tragic inevitability to it all.)

17 The Last Immortal - a surprisingly sweet and touching xianxia that works largely because Zhao Lusi and Wang Anyu are so so so so solid separately and together.

16 Burning Flames - the most gonzo drama on this list. I love it for committing to insanity as it should (if you pick insane source material, commit.) Humans taking on the worst Gods since Olympus, fur and chains, sentient crystal FL, ML who goes from Crown Prince to mine slave to rebel leader, bare chests and fur, demon elves, a villain that leaches color from the world - this drama has everything and I loved its unhinged glory.

15 Lost You Forever 2 - it would have been higher except it fell apart in the last third so badly I am still wondering how the makers could misunderstand their own characters and their own narratives so badly. The first season was a masterpiece. This is a hot mess.

14 The Princess Royal/The Grand Princess - I am in the minority of finding this drama very mid. The acting was fine (except for former eunuch dude), the writing was fine, but I never really got invested alas. I don't even know why. I think it's just not my type of narrative; there was no intensity.

13 Different Princess - a ridiculous amount of fun and ship about an author falling through to her own novel and falling for the villain.

12 Sword and Fairy 6 - I love this tale; the young OTP (a whale weapon and a clone of her trigger? More wholesome than you think) who are so ride or die for each other, the other amazing characters (sect leader who has to live as a man and her "twin" who is an ancient trapped spirit, a wolf demon, etc...) It's just genuinely good and proof that targeted to younger audience doesn't have to be bad.

11 In Blossom - sure, we all know JJY can't act, but the narrative was so fun and the visuals were so gorgeous and Liu Xueyi so gorgeous and magnetic in his first proper Male Lead role, it was all worth it. I liked the first half when they were still cautious of each other more than the second but this is just a good time!

10 Hard to Find - my second favorite mini on the list, this is an aesthetic feast. The doomed couple from enemy kingdoms, the vengeance, the twists - if ever a mini deserved to be a proper drama, this would be it. But alas, if it was they'd probably not let it.

9 The Double - unhinged web novel vibe done so perfectly in the inimitable Yu Zheng style. The leads were so good even the amazing villains didn't truly steal the show. Like with a lot of cdramas, it lost a lot of steam in second half for me, but still a great watch.

8 Fortune Writer - the best mini this year and better than most "proper" cdramas (Douban raters agree), this tale of villains in love fighting the narrative has a lot to say about writing cliches and writing conventions. I love how clever it is and how it actually made me care for the characters.

7 Tender Light - except for that ending, this was in the running for my favorite 2024 cdrama. The writers' lack of ability to commit and carry through pushed it lower but otherwise it's a genuine masterpiece. The acting, the chemistry, the looping narrative, what it has to say about abuse and complicity of society and blazing your own moral path is something else.

6 Derailment - who knew a little quasi scifi modern would be this high but this one is amazing. If you watch one modern this year, make it this one. Our FL is a rich girl a little in the future who somehow wakes up in a different timeline a few years back in the body of that universe's version of her (who is poor and has been missing) and her one connection is a young man who was in love with that universe's version of her. I don't want to say more so as not to spoil because the twists are twisty but this is EVERYTHING and also addresses transmigration, what it means to love, what is ethical etc etc. And that OTP!

5 Snowfall - a fever dream of a vampire narrative set in an alternate universe of the Republican era, it's gorgeous, passionate, hella queer and just like watching the most amazing fanfic come to life.

4 Heroes - a complete masterpiece about three men about to be on the scrapheap of history in the Qing Dynasty about to fall (a constable devoted to obsolete norms, who spent his whole life studying for the imperial exam which got canceled, the world's best swordsman in the era of guns, and a former imperial guard who emerges from prison into a different world) whose stories intersect as they search for treasure and the women and other people in their lives. This is smart, impeccably acted, filmed in a stunning way, bleak and funny at once and - I don't use the term masterpiece often but I will use it here.

3 The Legend of Shen Li - I am often indifferent to xianxia that suffers from too much CGI, hella immaturity and not enough stakes. Shen Li is everything. It's gorgeously filmed, it's adult, it gives the story time to breathe and centers it on characters and relationships. And the OTP is everything you can ever dream of - it reunites Zhao Liying and Lin Gengxin, totally healing those Princess Agents wounds - their chemistry is still utter fire but the narrative supports them every step of the way.

2 Eternal Brotherhood - if JoL2 did not come out this year, this would be my favorite cdrama of the year. It's clearly a passion project with a small budget but this complex and grim tale of three rather different sworn brothers in a world at war is gorgeous, smart, well acted, dark and inspiring at once. There are shots that take my breath away, the love stories are amazing, the pace is perfect, and ohhh our complex mainsssssss.

1 Joy of Life 2 - nothing can beat this masterpiece. The first season was perfect and somehow the second is even more perfect. It's smart, it's funny, it's heartbreaking, the cast is still impeccable and Zhang Ruoyun still gives a completely jawdropping performance as the focus of all the madness Fan Xian. If you watch only one cdrama this year, make it this one.

FAVORITE DRAMA

Joy of Life 2 - there is not one second I forwarded, not one unnecessary scene, not one weak link character. It's a smart, fierce masterpiece.

Eternal Brotherhood is a runner up - it came out of nowhere and owned my whole heart. It's the sole other cdrama this year where I did not ff a second.

WORST DRAMA

My Divine Emissary - honestly, this is a decent year because even this drama was just "forget it" not burning hate.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Fan Xian (Zhang Ruoyun), Joy of Life 2 - how could it ever be anyone but smart, irreverent, fierce, broken, idealistic, funny Fan Xian. The man who fights against the horrors of the universe, who remains human while being so larger than life. This character is everything.

Runner up: Zhou Luo (Zhang Xincheng), Tender Light - idealistic loner who refuses to compromise his principles even as it would be easier to, even as it destroys his life, ZXC has always been a solid actor but here he is beyond.

Alternatively, Zichuan Xiu (Yang Xuwen), Eternal Brotherhood - only way to describe Xiu is "trauma sunshine." He's funny, he's irrevocably fucked up, he is magnetic and intense and he fights for his hopeless ideals and he breaks and he keeps going.

or Xing Zhi (Lin Gengxin), the lonely ancient god discovering the pleasure of life for the first time in aeons.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Shen Li (Zhao Liying), The Legend of Shen Li - so fierce, so certain, so alive. She is a goddess but ZLY made her feel so real.

Runner up: Nan Ya (Tong Yao), Tender Light - an abuse victim who keeps trying to find a way out, she's strong and damaged and complex and honestly, one of the best performances this year.

Alternatively, Jiang Xiao Yuan (Liu Haocun), Derailment - she makes a character that in other hands would be boring or trite, someone I want to reach through to the screen and protect and love.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

99% of the denizens of the town in Tender Light - selfish every day denizens monstrous because of their very everydayness - they watch abuse and choose to blame the victim and gossip and enjoy the view. I hated them all.

FAVORITE SHIP

Shen Li x Xing Zhi, The Legend of Shen Li - the chemistry, the yearning, the slow inevitable collapse into admittance, the way he protects the world and she protects him, the way they dance around each other, her being the aggressor, his surrender to forbidden emotion, their utter mutual belief in each other's competence. They are everything to me.

Runner up: the OTP in Derailment. Those two went through some mind and soul breaking stuff and made it out.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Amusingly enough, Fu Xin Bo is the male actor in both - the crossdressing sect leader x wolf demon OTP in Sword and Fairy 6, and First Prince x Eldest Princess in Joy of Life 2. What can I say, man knows how to pick them. Those OTPs are both utterly adorable!

If we are talking about an OTP where it's not that it's not the main but it's not a ship-centric drama so they don't get much time, then we have either Fan Xian x Lin Wan'er from Joy of Life 2 - she is his peace and sanity

and Si Yilin x Ka Dan, Eternal Brotherhood - they are both such desperately good people in a mad world, tender with each other despite surrounding cruelty.

NOTP

The couple in Fox Spirit Matchmaker - such pretty people, and so bland and boring and pointless together. It was kinda amazing.

FAVORITE SCENE

God, so many good scenes this year so far - Fan Xian watching the death of the old censor and the aftermath, in JoL2; his confrontation with Wan'er after she finds out about the truth behind her brother's death, the scene where he poisons Second Prince, his scene with the registrar. Xiu giving up his future to protect the surrendered soldiers only to come back and find Di Lin executed them all in EB, the scene in Ning's bedroom when he tells her how he really feels because she can't hear, the very end of that season and Di Lin striding into the light, Ka Dan and SYL's night. The last scene of LYN and his girl in Heroes, the way Heroes always intercuts the golden past of the guard and princess and the dreary present (especially when we see her bicycle spin out of control back when and her husband lose it in the present and this time there is nobody to catch her), the big reveal in Derailment and the hairwashing scene, Mi Lan touching Vamp Daddy's face as their thing in Snowfall, and the cage stuff etc etc.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Shen Zhiheng (Gao Weiguang), Snowfall - Vamp Daddy made me hormonal in a way I haven't felt for a cdrama lead since the heady days of Darren Wang in The Wolf. Those outfits, that hair, that height, that restraint, that lack of restraint. THE CHAINS

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Liu Duan Duan as Second Prince in Joy of Life 2 - what a performance! Unhinged, magnetic, pitiable, terrifying and always mesmerizing. The Second Prince is Fan Xian's foil and a worthy one. LDD is always a great actor, and with a role that actually gives him something to sink his teeth into - wow!

MVP OF THE YEAR

Liu Yuning (Heroes, Eternal Brotherhood) - there is only one actor who somehow managed to be a main character in two of my five top 2024 dramas. His ruthless, driven Di Lin in EB, who knows he's doomed as the ruler's executioner but has no other way forward, and the man out of time (best swordsman in a gun era) in Heroes are both unforgettable characters in amazing dramas.

ACTING SURPRISE

Ouyang Nana - Li Muge performs miracles. He made Yang Chaoye be good in Heroes (2022) and now Nana, who was always as wooden as a post, is a revelation as blind abused girl who becomes a vampire in Snowfall.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Joy of Life 2 of course - I need to see the looming confrontation between Fan Xian and the emperor, though not sure how that will pass censorship.

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

FF button has cured me of finding contenders for this category, but perhaps cutting out a lot of terrible acting and lack of stage presence of "not yet a eunuch" dude in The Princess Royal, would have improved it.

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Lost You Forever 2 - there were other issues with it, but all the cuts couldn't have helped with coherency.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Same as last year - the emperor cannot be irredeemable. WTF, China, you are a communist country! Though they are nibbling at the edges this year.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Men (and women) knowingly fighting for a doomed cause because otherwise they'd cease to be who they are.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

Lost Your Forever 2 - the first season was my favorite drama of 2023 but LYF2 just fell apart so so so badly, it was almost fascinating. It totally eviscerated the characters and the meanings of the story.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

Three out of the top 5 dramas on my list are not dramas that were on my radar at all before airing - Heroes, Eternal Brotherhood and Snowfall were not anything I anticipated, let alone I realized how much I'd love them. Same for Derailment and Tender Light. This has been a year of surprises.

2024 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

I have honestly watched almost everything I wanted. Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty 2 will be the one I will list since I still need to finish s1.

BEST NON-2024 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2024

Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty - I, a procedural and mystery hater (especially when there is close to no romance) somehow fell like a ton of bricks for this gorgeous, smart, impeccably acted show.

MOST ANTICIPATED

This is always a bad idea and kinda a curse but I really really want The Story of Pearl Girl, with Zhao Lusi and Liu Yuning because I love them separately and together and the thought of them reuniting is a dream come true. Also Eternal Brotherhood 2 (it's filmed but they can't air it until a year from EB1), Love of Nirvana with Ren Jialun and Li Landi, and Snowy Night: Timeless Love with Li Qin and Zheng Shunxi.

#cdrama #2024 list #derailment #the legend of shen li #heroes (2024)#heroes #snowfall #tender light #eternal brotherhood #joy of life 2 #the double #the princess royal #hard to find #fortune writer #in blossom #sword and fairy 6

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islerouxsims · 7 months ago

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DIZZY ISY SAVE FILE VERSION 8

Hello Dizzy Isy fans! I'm absolutely thrilled to announce the release of Version 8!

The save file is now updated for the FOR RENT pack and Tomarang.

I hope you find a lot of joy in this new version of the save!

♥ What do you get? ♥

VERSION 1 OF DIZZY ISY (STILL AVAILABLE HERE)

VERSION 2 OF DIZZY ISY (STILL AVAILABLE HERE)

VERSION 3 OF DIZZY ISY (STILL AVAILABLE HERE)

VERSION 4 OF DIZZY ISY (STILL AVAILABLE HERE)

VERSION 5 OF DIZZY ISY (STILL AVAILABLE HERE)

VERSION 6 OF DIZZY ISY (STILL AVAILABLE HERE)

VERSION 7 OF DIZZY ISY (STILL AVAILABLE HERE)

…PLUS…

220 custom clubs and icons (+11 than v.7) with points/rivalries and custom activities.

Lots of details of custom books to find, interesting tombstones, photos with past histories and mysteries etc.

♥ When you enter the save♥

There are 4 empty lots.

There are 20 empty houses (13 starters, 6 under 100k, 1 under 120k). (I have now labelled the starters so it is clearer.)

There are 18 rentals in holiday destinations.

3 new rentals in Tomarang with fleshed out family landlords.

There are now 3 free apartments.

Secret lots in Mt. Komerebi renovated.

Selvadorada and Strangerville adventure/mystery unplayed.

Conservation efforts not completed in Sulani.

Evergreen Harbor has many community project opportunities.

Neighbourhood Stories disactivated.

Voting and Eco Footprints also disactivated.

___________________________________________________________

It is a busy save file with many lots filled to stop random spawning of townies but the empty lots will soon quickly fill up with townie families if you don’t use them. The townies are clearly marked in the unplayed tab with the #townies so you know who is meant to have a lot and who isn’t.

___________________________________________________________

♥ What do you need? ♥

❥ ALL THE PACKS apart from Journey to Batuu

❥ Kits used: Fashion Street kit, Incheon Arrivals kit, Desert Luxe and Carnival Streetwear kit

-You can still download this save file without all these packs or kits but some items might be replaced by substitutes, and we all know how those pan out.

❥ 186 MB of free space for this save file.

❥ Zerbu’s More Club Icons Mod (PLEASE DOWNLOAD FIRST!)

(If unavailable to you please download from here)

❥ Rex’s Custom Club Activities Mod (PLEASE ALSO DOWNLOAD BEFORE THE SAVE!)

♥ Recommendations ♥

❥ MC Command Center by Deaderpool.

❥ No Random Townies by Zero.

❥ No Random Hats Acessories and Makeup by Bienchens.

(Anything by Bienshens is amazing and safe to use in my opinion)

♥ How to install? ♥

Make a backup of your Electronic Arts/The Sims 4/Saves folder

Download the file, unzip, and place files in Electronic Arts/The Sims4/Saves.

Open your game, enter the save. It is named “Dizzy Isy Save File By Isleroux and you should see the Koh Saphas as the last played household.

"The Koh Saphas are heirs to the Sungai Point estate but face a whirlwind of challenges. Kasarinlan manages their property portfolio, while chef Kahilom embarks on managing a restaurant plagued by terrible reviews after a tragic incident involving artist Indigo Ivyloop. With twin girls on the horizon, Indigo's ashes in their posession and the daunting task of salvaging Kahilom's culinary reputation. Will their ambition prove their downfall, or can they turn the tide and savour success?"

___________________________________________________________

DOWNLOAD (SFS) or

DOWNLOAD (MediaFire)

(REMEMBER TO DOWNLOAD THE CUSTOM CLUB MODS FIRST!!)

**Lastly, if you find joy in the save file and wish to support me, perhaps you could consider buying me a coffee ☕ to help make future updates possible.

It's worth mentioning that despite the immense effort poured into Dizzy Isy over four years, I've chosen not to restrict access to my save files behind any paywall.

To those of you who have already extended your support, your kindness truly means the world to me. I want you to know that I see you, I appreciate you, and I'm grateful for your unwavering dedication, especially to those who have read this far down.**

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Happy simming! ~isy~ ツ

@maxismatchccworld

#isleroux #ts4 #sims 4 #reblog #the sims 4 #dizzy isy #dizzy isy save file #ts4 save file #sims 4 save file #the sims 4 save file

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ssaeri · 2 years ago

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we fall to ashes

☆ tags: alex x gn!reader, he finds something that he never expected to see on your farm, this was going to be angst with an angst ending, but then my sister begged me to not write a sad ending, so have this relieving happy ending instead, LOTS of alex spoilers! ☆

Alex stretches his arms over his head and breathes in deep. In the distance, he hears chickens screaming—a sure sign that he's getting closer to your farm. The walk from his house isn't short, but while his grandparents would complain about the distance, he finds it ideal for cooling down after his harder work-outs. And he gets to see you at the end? He'd say that's a winner winner chicken dinner situation...out of earshot from your coop, at least.

"Hey there! Evelyn's boy!" Pam calls from his right.

He slows to a stop and waves. She sits in the driver seat of her newly repaired bus, window fully open, and takes another swig from her Joja Cola. Immediately, her face scrunches.

"Mornin', Pam!" he yells back. "How's that alcohol detox going for you?"

"Awful." She smacks her lips and holds the can up to her eyes, searching the ingredients for what makes it so fucking nasty. You often joke that it's the bitter taste of capitalism. "I could go for something stronger in this heat. You think the farmer has an extra glass of pale ale?"

Alex's smile tightens. Ever since Pam and Penny's trailer turned into an actual house, Pam's been doing her best to break old habits and he's glad for it—he can finally walk by her without the reflexive gag and hurried steps. You telling me I stink? she used to ask, angry in her drunken stupor, until she remembered why he showed up on his grandparents' steps nearly two decades ago.

She must read it in his expression now because she waves him off with a roll of her eyes. "I'm kidding, kid. Tell 'em I said hi. They're the only one who takes this damn bus anyway. I might as well take a nap." She slides sunglasses onto her face and reclines her chair until he can't see her anymore. "If I'm still here by the time you go home, wake me up."

Classic Pam, he thinks as he continues to your farm. Your dog is already running from the front door to greet him, panting and barking and disturbing your horse's peace.

"Come on, buddy," he laughs, shooing your dog until he can push open the gate. "I was supposed to surprise them."

Alex scratches your horse's ear as he passes its stable. Grape vines twist and sag on the trellises you've set up for the season, the structures nearly bursting with fruit, and he makes a mental note to stop by tomorrow to help with the harvesting. Maybe it could substitute for a work-out. He's helped you ship boxes of produce before and wondered how ripped he'd be after a month of your lifestyle. Between the trellises, the melons are just starting to come in. He doesn't know how long it takes for them to ripen, only that they taste really good when you drop off a basket for his grandma.

He calls out your name. Not in the fields, not in the pasture. Your new greenhouse, maybe? You were muttering something about ancient fruit last night. Or the mushroom cave, something he still can't believe is a feature on your farm. If Demetrius could add that, maybe Alex could talk you into installing an outdoor lifting station.

He walks past your workbench and active machines...

...and walks backwards again, hoping that his eyes are deceiving him. Crystalariums reproducing diamonds to sell, charcoal kilns working double time for enough coal, bone mills churning out fertilizer, geode crushers crunching rocks into pebbles, furnaces roaring as they smelt ores into bars—and right on top of the furthest furnace sits a wrapped bundle he's only seen in his (second to) worst nightmares.

He hears your content humming now, somewhere in the main farmhouse. Under normal circumstances, he would've called it cute, but the sound rings mockingly in his ears as he approaches the darkened flowers. A wilted bouquet. Fuck.

"Oh, hey there!" Alex called out as you got closer. He tossed his ever-present gridball into the air. "You here to catch fish again? I think you can find salmon in the river this time of year. At least that's what I heard."

Once you came to a stop in front of him, you shook your head, hands still behind your back. "I'm not fishing today," you said. "I actually wanted to give you something."

"Yeah?" His lips quirked into a grin. Another toss into the air. "Wouldn't happen to be a Salmon Dinner with extra lemon, would it? Those are one of my favorites, but I can never catch any salmon myself. Another egg would be cool, too. I've been adding your weekly deliveries to my workout meals."

You only shifted from one foot to the other, unable to take your eyes off his shoes, and a part of him faltered. You weren't intimidated by him, were you? Ever since you found him crying on the beach, he had been a little more flirtatious than usual, layering on the teasing and showing off. Maybe he came on too strong. Haley always told him that subtlety wasn't his strong suit. The grip on his gridball changed as he tossed it higher.

"You okay there? Did I do something...wait, this is—ow!"

The ball bounced off his head and landed in the grass, but he couldn't care less. He pointed to the bouquet in your hands. Not a regular bouquet, but the Bouquet made to order by Pierre. In a place as small as Pelican Town, there was no need for Pierre to have it in constant stock, so when the signature blooms made the rare appearance, they attracted everyone's eyes.

"...you want to get more serious?" he asked, incredulous.

Something in your expression changed, and you drew the flowers back to your chest. "Oh, sorry, did you not?" You gave him a wide smile, already stepping away. "I must've read the signs wrong. My mistake."

"No! That's not—I mean, you read the signs correctly. I, uh, I feel the same way." He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling his face flush. "So I guess we're together now? Should I be asking you out on a date or something? Or wait, are you asking me out on a date? How does this work?"

You laughed, a genuine sound this time. "We can continue the way we were before."

And so you did, but some things changed for sure. He could hold your hand now as you ran errands around the town, carrying half of the gifts you handed out to the townspeople. He could kiss you goodbye at his door in the evenings, though George cleared his throat loudly every time. Alex remembered making some snide comment about his grandpa, who yelled out a gruff I heard that! before being shushed by Evelyn. When It Howls in the Rain was being shown at the town theater, you bribed him to a screening with the promise of Stardrop Sorbet, but as much as he loved the treat, he would've gone anyway—it was one of his favorite movies with one of his favorite people. Good thing he'd seen it before because he spent most of the time staring at your side profile, wondering when he could finally go pro and have you stare at him on a screen.

Your dog nips at his fingers. He pets it absently. He thought everything was going fine between the two of you. Just yesterday, you came over and had dinner with him and his grandparents. You told them about your mining adventures in the Skull Caverns and, to his horror, showed off your old stitches from Harvey. (George chided your reckless behavior and gave old-timey advice that you nodded along to.) You talked about the new farm you're setting up at Ginger Island—Ancient Fruit wine all year! you told them excitedly. It's a farmer's heaven!—and the Beach Resort you're trying to restore. (Evelyn hummed at your energy, asking rapid-fire questions about the flora there.) You even promised to bring over a season's worth of eggs and leeks as soon as you got your hands on them. (Alex's mind flashed to the old mariner and the mermaid's pendant he could see hanging around your neck in the future.)

So why is a wilted bouquet sitting here, right on top of your furnaces?

No point in guessing when he can just find out the answer right from the source. He takes the flowers and goes to your door, knocking twice. It opens before he has time to second guess his choice.

"Alex! I didn't know you were coming over," you say, beaming at him. He wants to immortalize this version of you: face full of dirt smudges and t-shirt collar soaked through with sweat, yet glowing in your element. Until your eyes drop to his hands. "Oh, that's..."

He sets his jaw. "Can I come in and talk?"

Your expression falters further at his cold tone, but you step back and lead him to the living room. Your dog trots in and settles by the TV, head on its paws, watching with blank eyes. Alex sits in his usual spot and you yours, and suddenly he hates how familiar he is with your space.

It's still silent.

You clear your throat. "So," you start, wiping your palms on your jeans. A nervous tick he knows well. "What did you want to talk about?"

He puts the bouquet on the coffee table between you.

"Right." You pause, likely waiting for him to continue, but he doesn't say anything. "Alex, can you at least be less mean about this? I feel like you owe me that much after all this time together." He says nothing. "Like, tell me what's wrong instead of sitting here stone-faced. Things were okay. Why are you breaking up with me—"

"Why am I breaking up with you?" He barks a laugh. "Baby, I found this outside on your furnace! I'm not going to beg for you to stay, but what the hell is this?"

Your forehead furrows. "What? I wouldn't."

"If it's not yours and it's not mine, then whose is it?"

"I don't know! Alex, I wouldn't—I never even thought about breaking up," you insist. "Why would I lie about that?"

After scrutinizing your stricken expression, his relief comes in waves. He sinks into your couch, hands rubbing at his face.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just—" He laughs again, the sound mostly air. "Yoba, that scared me. If someone left this here as a prank, I'm hunting them down tonight." He lifts his head to look at you and opens his arms. "Can you come over here?"

You wrinkle your nose. "I'm gross."

"You could be playing in mud with your pigs, and I'd still jump in."

With a roll of your eyes, you hop over to curl into his side and he buries his face in the crook of your neck. You stink, but so does he after a good workout. Now that he thinks about it, he's still in his gym clothes.

"You scared me, too," you tell him, gaze trained on the table. "Not the best thing to see on a Friday afternoon. But now I want to know whose this is. Did you check it for clues?"

"Didn't bother. Thought it was yours." His arm around your waist tightens as you lean forward. "Does it matter?"

But that doesn't stop you. You have the bouquet in your lap now, prying at the blackened ribbon and wrapping. "Look at this," you say, holding it between two fingers. "The ribbon isn't blue, and Pierre always uses blue. The wrap is pretty much disintegrated, but this corner—he always puts his store brand." You suck in a breath. "Oh, duh! Where did you say you found this?"

"The furnaces right outside by the workbench."

"Okay, so mystery solved. This is mine, but not in the way you think."

He raises an eyebrow. "Explain. Don't say you're breaking up with a secret partner because I don't think I can handle a second shock right now."

"I made a wildflower bouquet to put on Grandpa's grave a few days ago, but I totally forgot where I put it, so I made a second one. This one must've been the one I misplaced."

He blinks. "How the hell did you not notice it since?"

"I came back from Ginger Island yesterday and went to sleep right after dinner! The flowers must've wilted from the furnace heat."

"You," he says slowly, pinching your cheek and ignoring your squeak, "are the absolute worst. I can't believe you nearly broke my heart and it turned out to be a whoopsie."

#stardew x reader #stardew valley x reader #sdv x reader #sdv alex x reader #stardew x farmer #stardew valley x farmer #sdv x farmer #sdv alex x farmer #stardew valley scenarios #sdv scenarios #sdv alex scenarios #stardew scenarios #saeri writes;

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cursecuelebre · 4 months ago

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All About Woden or Oðin

It’s going to be a bit long so I hope I won’t bore y’all.

Attributes:

War

Wisdom

Magic (Seidr or Galdr)

Death

Poetry

Runes

Healing

Divination

The elite which is the high class (historically speaking but he can still be worshipped by any class he doesn’t discriminate)

King of Asgard and Aesir

Father to men and gods

Spirits

Air and Breath

Symbols

Runes (which he gifted to mankind and sacrifice himself for)

Ravens, he has two of his own called Huginn (thought) and Muninn (Memory). Crows can be associated as well but accurately are Ravens.

The rune Ansuz

Wolves

Staffs

His spear Gungnir which will always hit its mark

A winged helmet

Sleipnir the eight legged horse, child of Loki. Horses can also be a good symbol as well.

Valknut a sigil that is representative of Death, Preparation, and Protection.

The Gungnir sigil which is a diamond with an X over in the center

Horn Triskelion which Odin’s gift of knowledge of poetry and mead

Poetry this can be written poems or songs

Wednesday or Woden’s day

His own set of books called Havamal which is basically Norse proverbs but it’s basically means “Words of The One Eyed”

Herbs/Plants/Trees: Ash trees, Elm Trees, Rowan Trees, Horehound, Parsley, Woad, Mugwort

Offerings.

Mead (Beer can be a good substitute) if you can’t get beer water or tea or coffee is fine

Meat (for his wolves it’s said that Odin doesn’t eat but drinks a lot according to mythology, but I don’t think he would be mad if you put some on the side for him)

Poetry or general music

Handmade items

Weapons (doesn’t have to be real)

Bird feed (for his ravens)

Crystals (it’s more neo pagan, but he likes obsidian a lot)

Devoted acts like writing, exercise, crafting, etc.

Any magical things

Anything associated with Horses, horses were very sacred in Norse culture. Pictures of horses, horse hair(if you can find any), drawings of horses, etc.

Ravens like raven feathers or skulls (please clean them well and ask the spirit for permission) but then again no need anything crow or Raven related same with Wolves.

Runes, bind runes, handcrafted runes, rune artwork, etc. any divination tool as well like a tarot deck.

Staffs or Wands

Depictions

There is quite few depictions of Oðin in artwork but here is common scenery, he is an older gentleman with a long beard with one eye (the lore never said which eye was sacrificed).

His wanderer aspect: It’s the one I described earlier about him looking like Gandalf, a older man in a top hat or hooded in old robes carrying a staff. This aspect is of him traveling throughout the nine realms.

Warrior aspect or King aspect: He is in his armor, carrying a spear. Sitting in a throne with his winged helmet by his side are his two wolves Geri and Freki and at his shoulders is Huginn and Muninn who are essentially his messengers but very still apart of them so that they can see everything throughout the nine realms.

His hanged aspect: Which shows him hanging upside down from the world tree by stabbing himself while gaining knowledge about the runes. He died then rose back to life fully understanding the runes we know today which he gifted to us.

Sleipnir: Oðin attain Sleipnir by Loki, Sleipnir has eight legs and was Oðin’s battle horse and accompanied him throughout the nine realms most famously known traveling to Helheim to summon a dead seer for a prophecy.

Titles

There are so many but I’ll shall put the ones that are commonly used and ones I really like and forgive me for any spelling mistakes Germanic or any Scandinavian languages isn’t my first language and I have terrible handwriting.

Aldafödr- Father of men

Alfaðir or Alföðr - Allfather

Báleygr - Feeble eye, one eyed or flamed eye

Draugadróttin - Lord of Ghosts

Foldardróttin- Lord of The Earth

Gapthrosnir - One in a Gaping Frenzy

Gizur - Riddler

Ginnarr- Decevier

Göndlir - Wand Bearer

Gollnir - Yeller

Godjaðarr - God Protector

Grimnir, Grimr - Masked one, hooded one

Hangaguð - Hanged God

Gudan - Master of Fury

Haptabeiðir - Ruler of the gods

Haptasnytirr- Teacher of The Gods

Hárbarðr- Grey Beard

Hárr - One eye

Havi- High one

Jölföðr - Yule Father

Jölnir - Yule

Oðinn- Frenzy one

Óski - Fulfiller of Desires

Runatyr- God of Runes

Sigföðr - Father of Victory

Wōden- Master of Fury

Ódr - “frenzy”, divine inspiration, breath

Wilde Jaegar - Lord of The Wild Hunt

Karl - Old man

War-Father

Long hat

Wise and Wisdom Granter

True Father

Spell caster

Shadowed face

Fool and Wise man

Sleep-maker

General Information

Commonly known as Oðin (frenzy) or Wōden (Fury) to the Anglo Saxons he is probably one of fascinating gods in Germanic/Norse Mythology. From the titles and attributes even the symbols you can tell he isn’t just one set type of God he rules and charges over countless of things.

Oðin was born to Borr along with his two brothers, Vili and Ve, Oðin is the oldest. All three brothers killed the first being in existence Ymir. Which they created the earth, sky, and sea from his corpse literally Ymir’s skull is the sky and his brain the clouds and his blood the rivers and ocean. Then him and his brothers created the first humans Ask and Embla from pieces of trunks of Ash and Oak. I should note that most of what sources we have Norse Mythology is from Christian sources so you might see some influences from Abrahamic faiths. Oðin along with his brothers Vili and Ve gave each of them a trait of life. Oðin gave breath of life, Vili gave understanding and physical movements, and Ve gave their senses.

Oðin is a god of wisdom, he is always eager for the pursue of knowledge. That is why he travels a lot. Once he came upon the Well of Mimir beneath Yggdrasil’s roots a Jotun who guarded the well who was the wisest being of all and his well and grant such wisdom. Oðin asked if he can drink from the waters. Mimir agreed but said he needed to give the well, a sacrifice, so Oðin did that he gave the well his eye that he can drink. From doing so he became very knowledgeable in the ways of magic, curing the sick, calm storms, summoning the dead, etc this lead him on to his pursuit of the Runes. By the way Mimir’s head was beheaded and to preserve his head Oðin put the head in herbs and sang spells so that Mimir can still speak to him.

Then another famous story was how he gain the runes. Oðin hung himself upside down from the Yggdrasil tree by piercing himself with his spear as he called for the runes. For nine days and nine nights he had no help but when the runes finally came to him he let out a cry falling dying. It’s said it was describe the light of the world going dark when Oðin dead but suddenly it light up again and Oðin came back alive with the knowledge of the runes. Which he generously shared with Mankind.

He is a god rules over Valhalla one half goes to him (those who die in battle) and the other goes to Freyja’s hall. He’ll lead dead warriors when Ragnorak begins.

He is the god of kings and rulers but he also is the god of tyrants as well

God of order but he does do some trickery like Loki.

He is a war god there is so many titles that have him in war context that is overwhelming lol. About frenzy, fury, spears, victory, etc. it’s also describe Oðin will bring war upon peaceful communities as well.

God of Death, he is considered to be a psychopomp

He is equivalent to Mercury or Hermes (Psychopomp, knowledge, share the same day Wednesday.) similarities between them are mostly documented by Roman historian Tacitus.

He is a God among the goths, Anglo-Saxons, Germanic Tribes, Norse, Danes, Swedish, Finnish, and Icelandic peoples

He is the God of the Wild hunt which along side him is Holda a Germanic goddess of winter and death, it’s said Santa Claus is partly inspired from him because after he is finished with his hunt will come around people’s homes dropping gifts in shoes. He is also known as the Yule-Father.

Oðin is also the god of magic of Seidr and Galdr, Seidr is like a shamanic form of magic that the Norse used. It involved divination, spirit work, chanting, spinning, meditation. Seidr historically was only socially acceptable for women to practice not men but Oðin is the one that taught men Seidr. Galdr is magic of chanting or singing, created the song to cast spells. He can send a person dreams and messages. He can also make witches go mad apparently.

He is able to summon the dead, make them alive again.

Oðin is married to Frigga of marriage and justice and they had together Baldr, Hodr, and Hermod. But Oðin had many lovers and many children including Thor, Vali, Vidarr, Heimdallr, and many more. It’s also said that he had a relationship with Freyja even married her at one point before he disappeared however it’s not quite clear nor proven to be Oðin just speculation.

My personal experience

I will say Odin is a different type of God I encounter with. The best way I can describe it and it may sound weird but he’s like a fun grandfather. He has his wisdom and knowledge but also his sense of humor. He has helped me through a lot especially with anxiety and depression and burnout. Out of all the gods I have worked with he is the one that gives me the most dreams, the dreams are so beautiful and powerful I can’t describe them in full detail but involves magic.

Typically he loves any type of votive offering (creating the offering) like he enjoys regular offerings of course. But just using your free time to do craft something for him or do something for him he really appreciates. Writing your own poetry, studying, crafting, using your inspiration for workings, etc. divination or spellwork. He does play some playful tricks time to time.

Tarot:

Tarot cards I resonate with Oðin from my personal practice

Magician

Emperor

Hermit

Hanged Man

Death

Ace of Wands

#paganism #norse witch #norse deities #norse heathen #norse pantheon #norse gods #norse paganism #odin worship #odin deity #odin #odin allfather #norse pagan #witch community #witchcraft

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angelofdumpsterfires · 4 months ago

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BILL'S CONTRACT FINE PRINT DECIPHERED

I'm sure someone has beat me to this, but because I decided to decipher/translate all 1000ish words of the fine print on this here totally normal contract (by hand)

Bold code is theraprism substitution cipher, the rest is the author's substitution cipher, i've reformatted the text to be more readable but i've also made a version with the more accurate, original line formatting here

YOU ARE NOW TWENTY ONE GRAMS LIGHTER

THIS CONTRACT IS LEGAL AND BINDING, WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO USE YOUR LIKENESS, FACE, VOICE AND SMALL TOWN PLUCK IN WHATEVER NEFARIOUS MANNER IS DEEMED NECESSARY.

SANS SOUL YOUR SOULMATE WILL NOT RECOGNIZE YOU AND WILL WALK RIGHT PAST YOU ON A COLD AUTUMN DAY, NEVER MAKING EYE CONTACT, NOT EVEN PROCESSING THAT YOU HAVE EYES AT ALL. NO AMOUNT INTERACTION WILL MOVE THEM TO A PLACE WHERE THEY CAN REMEMBER - IN FEELING THE THOUSANDS OF LIFETIMES YOU HAVE ALREADY SPENT TOGETHER, EACH TIME CHOOSING WHATEVER FORM WOULD KEEP YOU CLOSEST LIKE OTTERS HOLDING HANDS IN A TUMULTUOUS RIVER. YOU WERE BIRDS, YOU WERE TREES WITH ROOTS ENTWINED, DRINKING IN THE SUNLIGHT TOGETHER. WHEREVER WE GO NEXT, WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE, I WILL ALWAYS BE RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. -

THATS DONE BUDDY, CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE CHOSEN BILL INSTEAD.

MCDONALDS RESERVES THE RIGHT TO PUT A GIANT YELLOW M ON YOUR TORSO AND FOREHEAD AND SEND YOU WALKING THROUGH A CROWDED TIMES SQUARE WHILE YOU SCREAM “THE FRIES, THE FRIES, THEY DON'T DEGRADE IN NATURE… ITS AN IMMORTAL FOOD… THEY WILL BE IN THE LANDFILLS LONG PAST OUR DEATHS.”

GOOD GOD, THE THINGS S I’VE SEEN, ME. WHO AM I? OH BILL'S PREVIOUS LAWYER, HE PUT MY SOUL INTO A QUILL PEN SO I CAN WRITE HIS LEGAL DOCUMENTS UNTIL THE SUN SNUFFS OUT LIKE A CANDLE IN THIS SICK UNIVERSE. I USED TO BE SO HOT. I WAS SO FINE. NOW I'M FINE PRINT.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, BILL RESERVES THE RIGHT TO PUT YOUR SOUL INTO AN INANIMATE OBJECT, A STRANGE CREATURE, A CONCEPT, A SENTENCE, A TASTEFUL BUT RUSTIC MASON JAR WITH WILDFLOWERS IN IT.

IF AT ANY POINT YOU WISH TO HAVE VISITATION RIGHTS WITH YOUR SOUL YOU WILL BE SWIFTLY DENIED UNLESS YOU HAD A COOL DAY PLANNED FOR THE BOTH OF YOU, THEN BILL MIGHT COME ALONG.

BY SIGNING THIS DOCUMENT YOU FORFEIT ANY RIGHTS TO EATING SOUL FOOD, IT WILL TURN TO ASH IN YOUR MOUTH, A FITTING PUNISHMENT FOR A FOOL WHO SQUANDERED THE ONLY TRUE GIFT LIFE OWES YOU.

BILL RESERVES THE RIGHT TO DRESS YOUR SOUL HOWEVER HE DEEMS NECESSARY, ESPECIALLY IF YOUR SOUL WAS A NERD BEFORE ACQUISITION, SOUL MAKEOVERRR!

YOUR SOUL MAY BECOME FRACTURED AND PLACED INTO DIFFERENT OBJECTS. THIS HAS NO PURPOSE AND WILL NOT RESURRECT YOU WHEN YOU DIE.

SIGNEE HAS FORFEITED ALL RIGHTS OF ANY AFTERLIFE INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: HEAVEN, HELL, PURGATORY, BIG CORNER, FLOW STATE, THE DREAM HOUSE, THE REINCARNATION PROCESSING CENTER, AXOLOTL'S TANK AND CONSEQUENCES HOLE.

SIGNEE CAN NO LONGER BOARD THE SOUL TRAIN AND IS ADVISED TO DISCARD ALL BELLBOTTOMS.

SIGNEE CAN NO LONGER HAVE A PUPPY AS A BEST FRIEND, THEY CAN SENSE WHAT IS GONE. CATS ARE INDIFFERENT.

SIGNEE MAY EXPERIENCE OCCASIONAL DEMON POSSESSION FROM HORCULUS THE RED, PLABOS THE MERCILESS, MORBUS SON OF MORTEM, PLAGA THE OOZING AND OTHER SUCH COMMON DEMONS ROAMING EARTH SEARCHING FOR WEAKENED/EMPTY VESSELS.

TIPS FOR RIPPING YOUR SOUL OUT: WATCHING YOUTUBE COMMENTARY CHANNELS, ATTENDING AN EXTENDED FAMILY EVENT WITH AN OPEN BAR, USING GENERATIVE AI AND ASSERTING THAT YOU ARE CREATIVE, TURNING A BLIND EYE TO HUMAN SUFFERING, AMASSING MORE WEALTH THAN NEEDED, PURCHASING A BLUE CHECKMARK.

#gravity falls #this is not a website dot com #thisisnotawebsitedotcom #bill cipher #the book of bill #cryptography #i like how it just turns into alex ranting near the end brennan lee mulligan style #also “i was fine. now i'm fine print.” took me out #also 21 grams experiment mentioned??#lmk if theres any mistakes the lines bled together when reading a lot

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justmystyles · 1 year ago

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Home Stretch

read my other work here

pairing: Harry Styles x plus size reader

word count: 1.3k

summary: as the tour comes to an end, the schedule starts to visibly take its toll on Harry, and you can't help but worry.

warnings: a couple of curse words, but other than that, it's tame.

a/n: we've all seen the Frankfurt night 2 videos. our boy is slowing down, so i had this idea for a blurb. i'll miss all the looks and videos and everything we've been getting the last couple of years, but i'm so glad he's going to be able to take some time to relax and recover.

tags: @allthelovehes @ameerakane20 @ash-craze @bethanysnow @blue-ballad @brightlightsinlife @creativelyeva @cute-as-ducks420 @fanficismydrug @gem1712 @golden-hoax @gothmingguk @groovychaosavenue @hillzrry @iceebabies @indierockgirrl @jerseygirlinca @jng4kook @jooniesbabie @kaverichauhan @lexiecamposv @mrs-anna-styles211994 @n0vaj3an @ravenclawdirectioner @stylesfeverr @superchrystaldrug @tenaciousperfectionunknown @tiaamberxx @thechaoticjoy @theekyliepage @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @youknowwhaaat

You watched on with so much pride and joy as Harry gave his all on stage. It was the second night in Frankfurt, and your last night on the tour for two weeks. You had some family obligations that you needed to go back to the states for, but you promised Harry that you would be there for his last show. And then the two of you would ride off into the sunset and hide away together for a few weeks. You were looking forward to that.

Your mind had drifted off, thinking about the two of you isolated in a villa somewhere, but quickly snapped back to the present when you saw Harry falter onstage, it looked as if his knee had given out. Your heart stopped and your eyes went wide.

You lean over, getting Brad’s attention. “Did you see that?”

Brad nodded in response. “It’s been a long tour, and you know how hard he pushes up there.”

Your worried eyes are locked on Harry when it suddenly clicks; he hadn’t been doing as many jumps as he usually does, his satellite stops had been lacking their usual stomp. He’s hurting, but still pushing so hard. You can’t seem to let go of your concern. Your fingers start tapping against your thighs, a nervous tick of yours. You have to do something, you can’t just stand here and watch him push and continue to hurt himself.

“I’m going to go back and make sure there’s an ice bath ready for him as soon as he gets off.” You tell Brad, who nods in acknowledgement, but you don’t see it. You had turned and started to make your way backstage as soon as you finished the sentence.

When you get to the backstage area, you arrange an ice bath for him and make sure his dressing room is set up with towels and his post show change of clothes. You just have to be doing something.

Once you had things set up for him, you went to the side of the stage to watch the rest of the show. You were studying his every move looking for any signs of pain or discomfort. When he noticed that you had moved from your usual spot in the front of the house, he shot you a questioning look. You simply shrugged and shot him a wink.

Your concern continued through the rest of the show, relieved when he substituted finger guns for his usual ‘Kiwi kicks’. You positioned yourself so that you would be right there when he got offstage, as he skipped toward the exit, you saw the moment where he decided he was far enough from the crowd that he could drop the facade. His skip quickly turned to a limp, and he practically doubled over.

You rushed over to him, placing a hand on his back and offering your other arm to him for support. “Baby, are you alright?”

Harry chuckled, a small cough escaping him. “I’m fine princess, you worry too much.” He leaned in, kissing you softly. “Why’d you come back here? I like having you in the audience.”

Despite assuring you he was fine, he continued to use your arm for support as you slowly made your way to his dressing room. “Because you’re hurt, and I wanted to make sure to get everything set up for you as soon as you got offstage.”

“Set up everything?” He asked. You opened the door to his dressing room to reveal the ice bath you had prepared for him. He looked over at you with a wide smile. “God, I love you.”

You leaned up, pressing a kiss to his lips. He puts his hand on the back of your head, deepening it. You pull away with a smirk. “I love you too. Now get in there, I’m going to go–”

“No, stay with me.” He pleads. “You’re leaving tomorrow and I’m not going to see you for two whole weeks.” He gave you his best puppy dog face, the one he knew you couldn’t resist.

“Ugh, fine.” You roll your eyes playfully. “But I am not getting into that thing.” You point to the tub filled with ice and water.

“Your loss,” he shrugs, closing the dressing room door and immediately stripping down.

You get yourself comfortable on the couch as Harry lowers himself into the tub. You give him a few minutes of silence as he adjusts to the temperature change.

“So, how did I do tonight princess?” He asked once he was settled.

You let out a deep sigh. “You were good, but I’m really starting to get worried about you.”

His brow knit in confusion. “Why?”

“Harry Edward Styles, you have got to be kidding me?”

“Did you just use my full name?” He was taken aback.

“You’re goddamned right I did. Baby you did amazing, you always do, but you give so much of yourself, it’s starting to take a toll on you. And I’m worried about you.”

“Oh angel,” he reaches his hand out to you. You scoot over on the couch to get closer to him, taking his offered hand. “Please don’t worry. There are only five shows left, I’ll get through these and then I’ll get some time to rest. We’ll get some time to rest.” He brings your joined hands to his lips. “Besides, I have you here to take care of me, so I know everything will be fine.”

“Yeah, but I’m not going to be here for four out of those five shows. What if something bad happens?” Your breath hitches slightly as you try to control your emotions.

Harry’s brows round in concern. “Baby, come here.” He tugs on your arm, and you narrow your eyes, making him chuckle. “I promise I won’t pull you in.” You move closer, kneeling beside the tub. He rests his hand on the side of your neck, pulling you in so your forehead rests against his. “I promise you, I am going to give everything I have responsibly for the last few shows. I will keep modifying things, and take it extra easy offstage. But I owe it to the fans to give them everything I possibly can until the end.”

“I know, I’m just afraid that you’re going to give so much that you won’t have enough for yourself once this is all over. You’re too selfless sometimes.” You raise your free hand, pushing a stray curl out of his face.

Harry kisses you, you can feel him smile against your lips. “I love you for worrying about me as much as you do. And for taking care of me like this. As much fun as I’m having, and as sad as I am to see the tour come to an end, I’m looking forward to having some time to take care of you, and try to pay you back for everything you’ve done for me this whole time. And I plan to be in tip top shape when I do that.”

“You don’t have to pay me back for anything. I do this because I love you, and the fact that I get to be here by your side and love you is all the payback I need.” You lean in, placing a lingering kiss on his lips.

Harry groans as you pull away. “Are you sure you need to leave tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” you sigh. “I’ve got my mom’s whole birthday thing. I need to be home for that.”

“But you’ll be in Italy?” He questions.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” you say with a smile. “Somebody is going to need to have an ice bath ready for you.” You wink.

“Will you do that one with me?” He asked hopefully.

You scrunch your face, hating the idea of sitting in a giant bucket of cold water. “Maybe.”

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles x plus size reader #harry styles headcanon #harry styles fluff #harry's house #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry edward styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #love on tour #harry styles blurb #harry styles fic

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mayakern · 11 months ago

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Good people of Tumbler! Maya and Devin are on vacation! So, it is I, Ash! I will be here all week to answer questions and keep things rolling. I am not as versed in the Tumblr ways as Maya and Devin so if I do anything silly on accident, please have patience with me. 😁 I will be using the tag # Ash used substitute, so that is how you will know it is me.

#ash used substitute

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insightfulllama · 2 years ago

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ANYWAY HERE’S A MASSIVE LIST OF OBSERVATIONS AND THOUGHTS FROM REWATCHING THE CABIN VOD AHAHAHAHA

(Spoilers)

The first thing Ranboo clearly says is, “It wasn’t supposed to…be like this…” They are very disoriented and confused, verging on distress.

When the mask turns on, they panic and yell “no” several times, before standing and going, “Where am I?” and “This place sure looks weird!” in the NPC voice. I believe he knew something was wrong and was able to scream, but not anything more before they took full control.

The NPC behavior isn't as obvious as it is in "Warehouse", but I definitely see it now that I'm looking for it. Pretty unsettling.

Ranboo checks locations they had already looked at before the mask turned on. (The door, the bookshelf, the ashes, etc)

Ranboo can see us, but with the masks influence we appear as a “weird painting”.

When he is flipping through the magazines and waiting for chat to decide where they go, he says, “These are just old pajamas.” I think that’s what they say, I have no idea what it means.

When Ranboo first goes to look at the window, he bends out of frame and messes with something (I think the VHS’s) and says, “Those don’t seem too important.” Pretty interesting considering he later uses a VHS to communicate with the one trying to get him out. (Showfalls influence?)

He’s complained about his head hurting twice now, I think this may become a pattern

They find a set of teeth in the drawer

The red key is IN the red bat- mirroring how the key is in Slimecicle later? Did he have to dig into a dead animal to get it here as well and we just didn’t see it because of the mask?

Ranboo’s spacial awareness seems impaired. He doesn’t know where Slime went because he can’t directly see him. This happens again later with Sneeg, Ranboo looking the entirely wrong way when Sneeg calls out. Both Slime and Sneeg call attention to this- “It’s a house, there’s door frames! How did you get inside if you do not know what a door is?” and “How do you not hear me?...How did you look over there, man?”

JUST realized the key colors match the “characters” we’ve been introduced to. (The Savior, The Taken, The Villain) I don’t know if there’s further symbolism connected to where the keys are found and stuff but it’s pretty neat.

When Slime does the pinkie swear promising that Ranboo can leave after he does the cooking challenge, they have their fingers crossed behind their back.

Slimy Guts is one of the available ingredients, bit sus considering our new knowledge. Also chinese leftovers got 0% of the votes LOL

The random cutaways are kinda strange. Don’t know what to make of them.

Ranboo uses a pretty big knife to open a little package of slime, is instructed to “beat up” the food and call it names, and later he offers to cut Slime off the floor when he gets stuck. I think there’s a good chance ranboo stabbed someone and made a meal with their guts. Or something in that vein. (Several times Ranboo points out that these aren’t REAL ingredients and he doesn’t know how someone could eat it. What’s happening is probably so horrifying that he can’t imagine it as something normal like chicken, so his brain is substituting with stuff that’s weird but TECHNICALLY not morally reprehensible.)

Fridge says “BEHIND YOU” on it

Gummy worm was in the freezer, body parts can be kept in freezers, idk

Someone really likes mayo, cause they stopped it when it was on the turntable and gave the camera a thumbs up

Slime tries the meal but he’s really reluctant and needs specific circumstances to do it. If the theory of the meal being human guts it true, the hesitation probably didn’t have anything to do with airplane noises…

What is in the backgrounds of these cutaways? It’s so blurry idk, I can’t tell. It’s sort of purply.

The dish in the end turns to slime with all the possible ingredients mixed in, even the ones we didn’t pick. In universe it reinforces that our choices don’t really matter, from a meta perspective it’s probably so they only had to make one slime prop.

The timing of the marshmallow string stretching as slime tries to feed ranboo is HYSTERICAL, golden comedic timing

The mask starts blinking when ranboo gets the tape message.

The person on tape instructs Ranboo “not to resist”. I believe this is said in the second message as well. Perhaps they don’t want Ranboo drawing attention to themself

Like in the room they woke up in, Ranboo checks areas multiple times, seemingly with no memory of the first time he checks. He does the exact same “flashlight in the eyes” gag each time he picks it up. It really enforces that in this moment he is a puppet, not making his own choices.

“What’s over here?” NPC!Ranboo back in full swing with this dialogue.

Ranboo did the cooking game, Sneeg didn’t. Sneeg refused to kill? Maybe cause he didn’t have a mask? Hmmm idk

The baby skull on a background shelf has a MASSIVE forehead

Light starts flickering when slime appears

What does the fight between evil sneeg and ranboo mean? Maybe they were both trapped and had a fight?? What does it mean without the obscuring mask?

Ranboo is able to get sneeg out of slimes influence, and sneeg says a few times afterward that he’s immune now. Ranboo can help people get out of Showfalls influence? (The gooey hat does bring Sneeg out of the influence later, extension of that Ranboo effect?)

When Sneeg looks to see if Slime is in the box, there is a “shhhh” sound effect

Sneeg says Frank is his eyes and ears- was Frank a whistleblower, feeding information about Showfall to the outside? Unsure

Goo chest- possibly full of human bits? Corpse in a trunk is a pretty common trope

Jello on the shelves of Slime’s room

Same picture that was on the fridge is in a frame on the table

Ranboo looks at the mirror the same way twice, reinforcing the NPC vibes

Another false choice- the story only progresses if you go to sleep. Talking to Sneeg only gets some more NPC dialogue. Most of sneeg’s other dialogue sounds genuine, so this is strange.

Sneeg seems unable to move or act while ranboo is asleep

Could the eight hours that passed be literal? If things are obstructed by the mask it very well could be

“You would have known had you been awake!” Before the reveal of the mask making things look different I thought the streams were going to be revealed to be a dream. Clearly it’s not entirely a dream, but this dialogue is still fun.

SHARK PICKLE LOBSTER TIME!! What would this be in real life? An actual human experiment? Security dogs? Full on hallucination?

This is a pretty funny way to promote the merch honestly lol (referring to ranboo using his merch to trick the thing into cage)

Ranboo seems baffled by his idle fighting animation for a second. He says, “Why am I just standing here? What’s going…” and when the camera pulls back the mask is flickering.

When Slime sends his ghouls to grab Ranboo I believe he tries to move out of the way. They kind of jerk a bit, like they're trying to move their feet, before saying, “Why can’t I just- get out of here? I just need to get out of here-” The mask is once again flickering during this

After the fight the mask starts flickering a LOT, plus the other lights in the cabin. Tv comes back on.

The TV man is named Hetch? He says, “My name is-” I think he says Hetch? Unsure

Mans gets drugged up at the end, rip

#I was thrown off and not really vibing with genloss cause i went in expecting horror from the start #but now the reveal has happened and my brain is INFECTED with OBSESSION WORMS #generation loss #genlosscabin #generation loss cabin #generation loss warehouse #genlosswarehouse #genloss spoilers #generation loss spoilers #crying and shaking over sneeg actually #ranboo says the ending has the option of being sort of happy please i am BEGGING ya'll to choose good options #might do another of these tomorrow for now i must sleep #I've stayed up way too late already

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sherwoodflorists · 9 months ago

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helena having to use the mud outside of the church as a substitute for ash wednesday because of the sign posted saying that masks weren't allowed.... ohhh the symbolism oh huntress year one the series that you are

#huntress #helena bertinelli #dc #dc comics #laurel reads

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bethanythebogwitch · 9 months ago

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Dry Beast Monday: chinchillas

For over a year now I've been doing weekly Wet Beast Wednesday posts where I do a deep dive on some aquatic animal, and you know what? I'm tired of it! This is now a dry beast blog!* And where better to start than an animal that can literally die if it gets wet? Beasts can't get much dryer than that. So strap in for the first Dry Beast Monday... Dmonday?... Drunday? Whatever, it's the chinchilla.

(Image: a pet chinchilla in a cage, standing upright on a wood platform that has been heavily chewed. It is a rotund mammal with a similar body plan to rabbits, featuring a large head distinct from a round body. Its hind paws are larger than the forepaws and have more distinct toes. Its eyes are almost completely black and it has a flat nose with very long whiskers. The ears are large, rounded, and mostly furless. The tail is bristly hair like a squirrel's and is curled up. Most of its fur is a dark grey but the fur on its underside is white. End ID)

Chinchillas are rodents (the best mammals, fight me) that are members of the family Chinchilladae along with the viscachas. There are two living species of chinchilla: the long-tailed chinchilla (Chinchilla lanigera) and the short-tailed chinchilla (Chinchilla chinchilla, formerly Chinchilla brevicaudata). The two species can produce sterile hybrid offspring. Domesticated chinchillas are descended from the long-tailed chinchilla. All chinchillas are medium-sized rodents with powerful back legs, long whiskers, large ears, and extremely dense fur. In comparison, the short-tailed chinchilla is larger and has a shorter tail, thicker and less distinct neck and shoulders, and smaller ears. The most famous feature of chinchillas is their fur. At about 20,000 hairs per square centimeter, chinchillas have the second densest fur of any mammal, second only to sea otters. Each hair follicle grows up to 50 hairs, compared to human follicles, which only grow 1. The fur is famous for being incredibly soft, often described as velvety. If you've never felt a chinchilla its really hard to describe just how soft they are. The fur is so dense because Chinchillas live in the highlands of the Andes mountains where it gets very cold. The fur is used for insulation and even with it being so thick, chinchillas still need to bask in the sun to warm themselves up. The fur is actually the reason why chinchillas can't get wet. Their fur is so dense that wanter can't evaporate easily, instead remaining around long enough for fungus to start growing in the fur. This can lead to a lot of different skin conditions and infections that can be lethal. When chinchillas bathe, they take dust baths. By rolling around in volcanic ash, the can work the ash into their fur, where it absorbs oils, moisture, and other contaminants. This keeps the fur clean and healthy. Domestic chinchillas need specially made dust for their baths. It cannot be substituted with sand or other materials. Chinchillas can release chunks of their fur in order to escape from predators, leaving the predator holding nothing but a tuft of hair while the chinchilla runs away. This is called fur drop and in domestic chinchillas it can be a sign of mishandling or stress. Wild chinchillas have grey fur, but domestic breeds have been bread to have other colors of fur, including white and black. Chinchillas can't sweat, which isn't a problem in their natural habitat, but is for domestic chinchillas. The only way for them to cool down is to expose their ears (which are hairless and heavily vascularized) to wind. Chinchillas in temperatures at or above 26 degrees C (80 F) are at risk of having heat strokes. Daytime in the Andes can exceed those temperatures, so chinchillas hide in burrows during the day. Chinchillas are very skilled at jumping, able to leap up to 1.8 meters (6 ft). Their hind legs are longer than the forelegs and provide propulsion when walking or jumping. The toes has fleshy pads called papillae that help them grip onto surfaces. Chinchillas live in arid, rocky conditions and are skilled at leaping between rocks. The tails act like rudders, providing stability and direction when leaping. The front feet are capable of gripping and picking up objects. Females tend to be larger than the males, but there is otherwise little visual difference between the sexes. Wild short-tailed chinchillas can reach 38 cm (including tail) and 800 grams while wild long-tailed chinchillas can reach 26 cm (including tail) and 450 grams. Domestic chinchillas can get up to twice the size of their wild relatives.

(Image: a wild long-tailed chinchilla sitting under a rock. Its body plan is the same as the pet chinchilla above, but its fur is a lighter grey End ID)

(Image: a short-tailed chinchilla in captivity. It has a less distinct neck than the long-tailed chinchilla, making it look like its head merges with the body. Its tail is shorter than that of the long-tailed chinchilla, making up about 1/5th of its length as compared to the long-tailed chinchilla's 1/3rd. End ID)

Chinchillas are social animals that live in colonies called herds that can reach up to 100 members. Females dominate the herds and can be aggressive toward each other, though physical fights are rare. The herd cooperates when finding food, always having at least one member acting as a lookout to spot predators while the rest feed. They communicate vocally, with 10 types of vocalizations on record for. Social behaviors include grooming, playing, and friendly nibbling of each other's ears. Pet chinchillas should never be kept alone. They should be in same-sex groups of at least 2. Chinchillas are crepuscular, active mostly at dawn and dusk. During the day and night, they are usually found hiding in burrows or crevices between rocks, where they can avoid predators and high or low temperatures. They are primarily herbivores, but will supplement their diets with insects and other bugs. Most of their diet consists of grasses, seeds, and succulents and cacti. Wild ones almost never drink water, instead getting all of their hydration from their food. Chinchilla digestive systems are fairly specialized to their food. Domestic chinchillas need special-formulated food and can only have wooden chew toys form certain species of wood. Fresh or dried fruit is good for a treat, but should not be a regular part of their diet as they have a lot of sugar. As with all rodents, the incisors grow continuously through the animal's entire life and need to be worn down by chewing on things.

It is surprisingly hard to find good-quality images of wild chinchillas. Most of the time when you search for wild chinchilla pictures what you get are either domestic chinchillas or viscachas.

(Image: a trail-cam shot of two wild long-tailed chinchillas. The photo is i black-and-white. One is in the foreground on all fours while another is on its hind feet in the background, standing on a rock. The terrain is rocky and the chinchillas are next to a shrub. The camera's light makes their eyes appear to glow white. End ID)

(Image: a wild short-tailed chinchilla that is part of a relocation effort. Its fur is light grey with darker patches. A gloved human hand is reaching in from the right side of the image. End ID)

Male chinchillas appear to be fertile year-round, but females only enter estrus during the winter, from May to November in their natural habitat. Gestation takes around 120 days in both species and both species typically have two litters a year (a low rate for a small mammal). Offspring (called kits) are born well-developed, with fur and open eyes, and can run as soon as they are born. They nurse for 6-8 weeks before being weaned. 1-6 kits are born at a time, with 2 being the usual number. Chinchillas are monogamous, mating for life. Either partner can initiate mating, which they do so with hair-pulling. Unusually for rodents, male chinchillas do provide care for their offspring. Members of the same herd will help each other with parenting. Female chinchillas have been known to adopt the kits of other females who can't nurse due to health issues. Females are usually dominant due to their size. Chinchillas become sexually mature at around 8 months. In the wild they can live for 10 years, which is doubled in captivity.

(Image: an adult domestic chinchilla with a juvenile. The juvenile is smaller than the adult, with proportionally larger head and limbs and proportionally smaller tail. The two of them are nuzzling their snouts together. End ID)

The name chinchilla comes from the Chincha people of the Andes, who hunted chinchillas for their fur and meat. This hunting increased vastly after European colonization of South America. Between hunting and trapping, both species of chinchilla were brought to near extinction and vastly reduced their native range. Both species are now only found in Chile and have been granted legal protection. The IUCN switched their classifications between Vulnerable, Endangered, and Critically Endangered for a while. As of 2016, both species are classified as Endangered, upgraded from Critically Endangered as their populations have seen some improvement. Poaching, both for fur and capture for sale as pets, is still a large threat to wild chinchillas. Their close cousins, the viscachas, are doing much better as they were not hit as hard by the fur trade. The domestication of the long-tailed chinchilla is thanks to Mathias F. Chapman, an engineer who became fascinated with the animals after meeting a native person who was trying to sell one. He ended up getting permission from the government of Chile to capture several and import them to the USA. It took him 3 years to catch enough that he considered suitable for breeding, 11 in total. He then spend over a year gradually bringing them down from the highlands to sea level, giving them plenty of time to acclimate to the lower altitude. Once in the USA, Chapman started breeding his chinchillas in a farm in California, though he had to deal with medical problems and a thief stealing half of his stock. Eventually, though, his experiment paid off. The vast majority of all domesticated chinchillas today are descended from those original 11, brought to the states in 1923. Chinchillas today are raised in captivity for their fur, for use as laboratory animals, and as pets. While both species are raised in captivity for fur, the domesticated chinchilla is descended from the long-tailed chinchilla and short-tailed chinchillas apparently do not make as good pets.

(Image: a black-and-white photo of Mathias F. Chapman, a white man with a large nose wearing a shirt and tie. A chinchilla is standing on his leg and looking at the camera while he looks at the chinchilla. End ID)

* April Fools

#april fool's day #the animal facts are real #dry beasts #dry beast monday #wet beast wednesday #chinchilla #long tailed chinchilla #short tailed chinchilla #domesticated chinchilla #rodent #mammal #biology #ecology #zoology #animal facts #informative #fur trade

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taterfics · 2 months ago

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Oracle

Chiiiiile, now y'all know auntie is rusTEEE, but imma try! As usual, MINORS DNI, if I catch you, it's yo ass! My characters black. Blackity black black black.

If there was one thing Nella Jones could count on in life, it was her magic. There was no problem too big or too small that could stop her from meeting her goals. But , as she watched her beloved King T’Challa be tossed to his death at the hands of his brutish cousin, N’Jadaka, her magic was of no use.

She could not save him.

For generations, the women of the Masu tribe performed an ancient, sacred magic both admired and feared among any that considered themselves fortunate or misfortune enough to know. It controlled the flow of the economy in Wakanda, helped them predict certain trends and possible natural phenomena that could affect the pricing and value of their goods. Seers, prophets, migratory folk who were seen as either an omen or a blessing in disguise.

Like their cruel new king, Nella was not from Wakanda, did not feel the soil of her mother’s homeland under her feet until she was nearly an adult, after her estranged grandmother beat down her mother’s door and took her by force.

Nella’s mother had been excommunicated from the family due to her lack of magical talent. All her life, Nella had known her mother to be a tall, proud woman, but the woman who fell to her knees in front of the veiled woman on their doorstep was not her mother. No, she was the same hurt girl that once begged her parents not to send her away, now begging the same woman to not take her child, her baby, the one thing she lived for. Her mother’s pain was hard to hear, hard to look at, and when she had stood tall in defense of her mother, barely sixteen years old, she was winded, knocked off of her feet by the sheer weight of the spear of the Dora Milaje. They bound her arms and her legs, carrying her away from the only family she had truly known. To the day she could still hear her mother’s agonized screaming as her grandmother dropped money at her feet, as if it were a viable substitute for stealing away the one thing she cared about the most.

Now, years later, Nella sat in a very similar position to the one her mother had many years ago but she was not there to beg, or to plead. She had seen him, had watched him scream for the elders to burn the gift of Bast as if it were nothing, as if the greatness of his own legacy was nothing more than shit beneath his shoes, and they did it. They did it because they feared their king. She may not have been born in the land, but the blood of Wakanda pumped through her veins, so when she watched him grab her Auntie Funke by her neck, when he cursed at her, she couldn't take it anymore, and she wasn’t that same scared little girl who had been struck down by the Dora Milaje in an attempt to defend her mother, but this time, her anger could not be tampered so quickly.

Shouts of surprise tinged with fear erupted through the halls as the flames grew higher, and higher, far beyond what any of them expected. It was at that moment that she saw the gears turning in her aunt’s head. Because of her temper, because of her rage, she was going to expose the secrets of the Masu people that they had kept sacred for many, many generations. Funke dropped the torch she had been holding, running to her niece, who was on her knees, staring blankly as she watched the legacy of the Black Panther, a warrior sent to her people by the Goddess herself, be reduced to nothing but ash in the wind.

When he turned and looked down at her, she could see his lips moving, but she couldn’t differentiate the sounds, feeling her auntie shake her vigorously against the pounding in her ears. Her entire body was hot, and her hands trembled, wet with sweat unassociated with the blazing inferno around her. In an instant, her mind was transported to another time, another life, when life was much simpler.

September 12th, 1998

Charleston, SC

You said

You’d be here by nine

Instead you took your time

You didn’t think to call me

Here I sit, trying not to cry

Asking myself why, you do this to me, boy

There was hardly a time in Harriet Jones’ car where the two occupants usually present were quiet, but hardly didn’t mean never, and it was one of those rare times. One might ask why, but one look at the shining black eye on the face of the younger occupant would tell you all you needed to know.

Little Janella Jones had gotten into a fight. And said fight led her to being suspended. They had been driving for quite some time, just sitting in silence, until Harriet seemed unable to take it anymore and she pulled the car over, killing the engine as she did so.

“You can’t hold your tongue forever, you know,” she said, the silence that met her almost like it was charged with lightning.

“Why I don’t got no daddy?” Of all the words she thought the little girl would say, this clearly was not it, seeing the way that she recoiled at the question. Harriet cleared her throat, looking at her daughter with a concerned look.

“Of course you have a father, Janella, and I wish you would speak English properly, like Mommy, see?” She ignored her mother’s words. There was nothing wrong with the way she talked, she talked just like everybody else. As long as she was understood, she didn’t see the problem.

“McKenzie Talbert say I don’t got no daddy and cause I don’t got no daddy, that make me a bastard, so why don’t I got no daddy?” She stared her mother in the eyes, and she could see the woman struggling to some up with an answer, a lie. Nella had learned at a very young age that her mother was a liar, but she never understood why her mother lied, nor had she ever tried to question her. But today something was different today.

It was earlier in the day when she sat in her fifth grade social studies class and listened to the girls behind her talk about the father-daughter lunch date coming up. She usually thought nothing of such things, until she heard nothing of it.

“You think Nella daddy gon’ come?”

“Girl you know Nella ain’t got no daddy.”

“How Nella don’t got no daddy? Everybody got a daddy.”

“Hush, you being loud, my nana said she ain’t got no daddy.”

“You mean like he had died or somethin’?”

“Nooooo. She. Ain’t. Got. One. My nana said it’s cause her mama like girls so she don’t got no daddy and they goin’ to hell because she gone be a bulldagger just like her mama.”

Nella hadn't been able to hold her tongue and she turned around and started yelling at her classmates for talking about her and her mama like that, and that her mama wasn’t going to hell because she was a good person and God liked good people, unlike her mama who sold coochie on 53rd. The teachers jumped in when the girls started fighting, Nella had a black eye, and McKenzie Talbert was missing a patch of hair from the front of her head, so she felt they were even. The teachers and the principal didn’t seem to think so, and they were both suspended for five days.

“Nella, the circumstances of your conception, it is something that you will just have to learn about when you get older. Now is not a time to have such a discussion–”

“Then when, Mama?! When the right time?! When I’m in high school? When I’m in college? When I get a job? Tell me!” Harriet pinched the bridge of her nose, a sign that her patience with her child was running thin.

“Nella, I understand that you are upset, but it’s not so simple as telling you. When you are old enough to understand–”

“STOP SAYIN’ THAT!” At her yell, sparks flew from the radio, the scent of smoke filling the air as the radio short circuited, the tape from the cassette in the player flew out, covering the two in the brown streamers. When Nella looked over at her mother, the woman stared at her with wide eyes, her bottom lip trembling as tears streamed down her face. Nella had never seen her mama cry before, and it was in that moment that she decided that she would lose her temper again.

Present Day

Wakanda

The memory of her mother’s tear streaked face wasn’t enough to stop the irate woman, nor were her aunt’s pleadings for her to calm herself.

This man, this demon was destroying the one place she called home piece by piece and no one was doing anything to stop him.

“Please, my King, I have done all that you ask,” Auntie Funke pleaded, shielding Nella’s body with her own. “The heart shaped herb is no more, she is just a girl, let her go.”

“Nah,” the voice above them spoke, soft, yet commanding, as if they were speaking casually about the weather.

“Lil Bit here look like she got sum’ she wanna say to me,” he said, circling the two women, dirt caked into their vibrant purple robes. “Whatchu gotta say Lil Bit?” He stopped in front of them, looking down with that infuriating smirk that made Nella’s muscles tense, Auntie Funke’s tight grp doing nothing to stop her as she rose to her full height, white hot anger coursing through her veins as she slammed her hands flat against his chest, a shockwave of energy going through the room as Wakanda’s new king was launched away from them, right into the flames that he had demanded be set to burn the gift of Bast.

Nella heard more than felt her knees hit the ground, her body exhausted as she breathed heavier, feeling lighter than she had in a very long time. But that lightness was short-lived when he emerged from the flamed, fury written on his features, seemingly unfazed by the burn.

He approached her, slapping her auntie to the ground and grabbing her by the throat, his punishing grip closing around her throat as she swung wildly, mostly hitting the air, but the moment her open palm connected to his face, it was as if the entire world went blank.

Just as easily as her mind went blank, there was a burst of color, and images flew before her eyes, sounds and smells touching her senses that caused her body to react. She saw many that she knew, and many that she didn’t. But most of all, there was him. He, who had taken from her what she loved the most, would give her what she begged on her knees for, countless nights on her knees, her forehead touching the dirt as she committed prayer after prayer to the wind, hoping that it would reach the ears of Bast.

Jakari.

#taterfics #killmonger fanfiction #killmonger imagine #killmonger x black reader #black panther #black panther imagine

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blender2902 · 2 months ago

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MARIKA NEVER ABANDONED MESSMER! (IN DEFENCE OF MARIKA PART 2)

Well it would be more accurate to say that they were seeing each other regularly until the shattering. I know I am not the first person to say this but I have not seen anyone make a dedicated lore post establishing a solid timeline with proper evidence so, I shall be the one to do it. My goal is to prove that Marika had contact with Messmer until she shattered the Elden ring.

Let’s first establish a general timeline of the events that are going to be relevant-

We know from gaius’s remembrance and Rellana’s lore that Messmer’s crusade must have begun sometime after 2nd Liurnian wars. The crusade must have begun before Radagon became elden lord as he removed all colosseum practices in his era as per the ritual sword talisman description and in the lands of shadow we find the dueling shield which says that these practices somehow remained in the shadow realm.

Now, whether the crusade took place before or after Godfrey’s banishment is unclear. I have seen many claim that Messmer knows what a tarnished is so the crusade must have begun after his banishment but then you are assuming that Marika abandoned Messmer as soon as she sent him there. If you believe that the YOU ARE DEAD WRONG! Two item descriptions refute this theory completely-

Black Knight Andreas spirit ash-

Focus on the line I have underlined, ‘flight from the Erdtree’. This description is straight up saying that during the crusade Messmer did go back home but then he was chased away

Don’t try to argue that the flight was the beginning of the crusade as it was commemorated which means that the crusade had the support of the erdtree at its beginning.

This means that the flight must have happened after the crusade began.

To further solidify this, the stone tablets at the specimen storehouse and the queen’s bedchambers are the exact same-

This is not a case of reused assets because these tablets are found nowhere else in the base game to my knowledge. Messmer must have brought these to Marika by himself. This also disproves the assumption that Marika wanted Messmer to be forgotten, since if she really did want that, she would have destroyed those stone tablets as well. Why does Marika want these tablets? Well, the answer doesn’t really matter but my personal headcannon is that Messmer found out that the jar innards are still alive and he told Marika so she started doing research in an attempt to cure them but it seems she was unsuccessful. Anyhow, what matters is that Messmer did return to her.

Here is how the timeline looks like now-

So now we know that the crusade must have started around the time Godfrey was banished but we still don’t know when the Messmer was sealed in the lands of shadow. Thus, we must look at another piece of lore from the dlc, the death knights of Godwyn. From what I have seen most people just ignore this part of the dlc lore, which is a shame, because this fundamentally changes our understanding of the timeline. The death knight armour says-

“Cadaver Surrogate” means a substitute for the corpse itself. What is this substitute? It must be what these death knights are guarding.

We don’t see this face in any other catacombs both in the dlc and in the base game. We find one of these faces in stormveil castle. Rogier straight up calls that thing a corpse-

All hints point towards those faces being the “Cadaver Surrogate.” This leads me to believe that the knights did not get to the realm of shadow through some ‘deathroot bulshit’ and got to the realm of shadow using those faces because these knights went there to specifically search for these. If they were transported to them, then it would make no sense to say that they went to search for them. Now, let’s look at some interesting enemies we find in these catacombs.

These guys belong to Messmer’s army. The black knights are right behind the fire knights when it comes to position in the army so it doesn’t make much sense that they would be here without orders. The shield those little guys drop literally says they are loyal to Messmer which means he must have ordered them-

We can argue that these guys are here just to protect the spirit ashes of Andreas and Huw respectively but there is one detail that goes against that, this stake of Marika here which is right before the Death knight boss-

Who could have placed this here? It must have been Messmer’s soldiers as I do not think the death knights would carry these around. Therefore, this heavily implies that Messmer sent these guys here to protect the death knights. The fact that these guys only appear in death knight catacombs but do not in any other mini dungeon further proves that. Now comes the question, why would Messmer send these guys here? His mission is to purge the hornsent not to help the death knights out right? Well, the only way we can make sense of this jumble is if Marika was the one to order Messmer to guard these knights. Remember, after Godwyn’s death, Marika is through with the golden order and has lost all faith in it. The golden order fanatics that hunt those who live in death use fundamentalist incantations which were created by Radagon not Marika which implies the stigma against them was Radagon’s doing not Marika’s. Therefore, it is well within Marika’s character to help these death knights out and send them to the shadow realm. Whether she was the one who came up with the idea of the “Cadaver Surrogate” I am not sure but that does not matter. What matters is that Marika let the death knights go to the shadow realm to accomplish their mission and asked Messmer to protect them. She might have thought that the death knights could revive Godwyn but that is a discussion for another day.

Even if you want to argue that the death knights placed this here, that still implies that Marika sent these guys there which means the Lands of shadow was not sealed yet.

This means that Marika had contact with Messmer AFTER THE NIGHT OF THE BLACK KNIVES which means Messmer was sealed AFTER GODWYN’S DEATH.

Here is the finished timeline-

To clear up some confusion about the sealing of the shadow realm and the timeline-

The shadow realm had two things happen to it-

The shadow land was veiled (the place was hidden but traveling there was possible): During Marika’s ascension to godhood she veiled the lands BUT THERE WAS STILL A WAY TO TRAVEL BETWEEN THE LAND OF SHADOWS AND THE LANDS BETWEEN which likely only she could access. The veiling must have happened before Messmer’s crusade because in the story trailer we see that Messmer is assaulting Belurat when the lands of shadow is veiled. Why do I think the place was veiled at Marika’s ascension? It is heavily implied that the Scadutree is responsible for the veil and the Scadutree avatar’s remembrance says-

The Scadutree is called the shadow of the Erdtree which along with the line from the story trailer ‘gold arose and shadow too was born’ implies that when the erdtree was born so too was the scadutree.

2. The shadow lands were sealed (all forms of travel were cut off): This, as I have proven in this post, happened after the knight of the black knives.

Many people have this notion that Marika shattered the Elden ring immediately after Godwyn died but according to Rogier’s dialogue, there was a period of time between the shattering and the night of the black knives. Messmer was sealed during this time.

Now there are several justifiable reasons I could give to Marika for sealing Messmer away but there is one that is supported the most. Messmer was sealed because in one of his visits the base serpent revealed itself somehow which caused the people to turn on him. Fearing for Messmer’s life, especially after losing Godwyn, she sealed him in the shadow realm where he would be safe.

Here is the evidence pointing towards this-

Let’s look at Andreas’s description again

Look at the part I underlined in yellow, Andreas somehow learned of Messmer’s serpentine nature. This serpentine nature has to be the base serpent and not the winged serpents for 2 reasons- 1) the winged serpents are visible on messmer at all times and 2) the winged serpents are depicted on the serpent crest shield so they must have been common knowledge. This implies that the base serpent was somehow able to reveal itself despite Marika’s seal

2. The Erdtree society hated serpents even before the crusade as we learn from the duelist helm description-

These colosseums existed during Godfrey’s era, when Messmer was living at Leyndell, which implies Messmer was never too popular among the upper echelons to begin with due to his winged serpents. The colosseum practices were removed by Radagon but the hatred for serpents must have persisted.

3.Correct me if I am wrong on this but the base serpent in the original Japanese description is called ‘malevolent serpent’ not base serpent. Either way it is called a piece of shit in every item description which implies that it is not necessarily impure but inherently evil which would only make people hate it more.

All this combined with the details about the timeline makes the set of events clear to me - After the night of the black knives, Messmer visited his mom again. During this visit, the base serpent somehow revealed itself to the public. This caused a massive uproar due the widespread hatred of serpents and the nature of the base serpent. All this pressure on top of the fact that Godwyn died made Marika fear for Messmer’s life, so she sealed him away in the shadow realm where he would be safe. Due to the widespread scorn for Messmer, the people would remove all traces of him from history. This would make for another motive for Marika shattering the Elden ring. This is just my speculation, so you can have your interpretation of events but I believe this is supported the most by facts and implications.

Some counterpoints I want to refute-

Why do Messmer’s armies in the lands of shadow ask Marika for a sign to end the crusade? Would that not imply that she said nothing to Messmer? -

Well, Messmer could simply have chosen to keep that business a secret and continue the crusade. When his armies got mad, he let them decapitate Marika’s statues instead of telling them the truth as then his secret would be known by even more people causing more rebellions, which he did not want as that would result in him killing more of his comrades.

2.Why does Messmer’s armor say that Marika wanted him to take the blame for the crusade? -

If this is what you think the armor description says then I have a lot to tell you my friend.

Let’s look at what it is actually saying-

What does this tell us for a fact? It tells us that Marika wished for Messmer to purge the hornsent. Now for some reason people think the ‘direct thy maledictions, thine ire, and thy grief towards me alone’ part means Messmer took the blame for the crusade. With all due respect, this take is just terrible for many reasons-

Why would he need to take the blame for the crusade? The only reason I have seen people throw around is that the crusade ‘became too violent’ which is stupid for 2 reasons- 1) the Land of Shadows (LOS in short) was veiled during the crusade as we can see in the story trailer so how in the almighty name of fuck would anybody know it was violent? ’Oh someone could have travelled to LOS and seen the crusade.’ Marika is the only person capable of allowing travel between the realms, why would she allow a random noble to go to the LOS which is literally the place where all manners of death wash up. Why would any noble want to wander into the LOS anyway like they would know that is the place where the hornsent reside, you know the race of people racist to everyone without horns. 2) Even if it was violent why would the people of the erdtree mind it? Like they are fine with butchering omen babies and stick their horns on a cleaver and all the fucked up bulshit happening to albunaurics at volcano manor (we do see tortured albunaurics at Leynedell right before the entrance to the sewers). If they are fine with these practices, why would they take issue with the race of horned people who made the lives of all those living without horns miserable? It’s just stupid, Messmer would not have to take the blame for anything.

Let’s translate what those last lines mean into simple english-

"Direct thy maledictions, thine ire, and thy grief towards me alone" means:

"Send all your curses, anger, and sorrow to me only."

If we were to consider that Messmer is speaking to the erdtree people then the first two words make sense, curses and anger, but then comes sorrow. What would the erdtree people be sorrowful of? Nothing! They lose nothing from the purge of the hornsent. Don’t say that ‘Oh they lost their sons who became fire knights’ They did not, they shunned them after scorning Messmer as the fire knights were chased due to their allegiance to Messmer.

This means they had no reason for being sorrowful before shunning Messmer. It is logically impossible for Messmer to be addressing the erdtree people here.

Who is he addressing then? The hornsent. He is asking them to curse him and not Marika. Why is that? Well, there is the dialogue of the hornsent grandam cursing Marika with ‘an omen’ which has some heavy implications which I will have to elaborate on in a future post but nonetheless Messmer is talking to the hornsent here not the erdtree people according to logic and evidence.

3. Let’s question the fact that it is Messmer saying those lines. We can clearly see the hornsent still curse Marika to hell. We can also see that Messmer’s armies have started to resent her and cut the heads off of her statues, which is in a way cursing her. Even Messmer himself curses her when he dies due to the influence of the base serpent. Nobody besides the hornsent is cursing Messmer in the game. All this suggests that Marika wishes for Messmer and his armies to direct their curses and grievances towards her and not towards Messmer. She is the more significant character of the two so this is very much a valid interpretation. You can disagree with this third point but I fell the first two are quite solid.

Ok that should do it for this talking point. If you are somehow still convinced Messmer took the blame for the crusade from the erdtree people then I am willing to hear you out though I think that is simply impossible.

3. Why does Messmer curse Marika with his dying breath? This would imply that she abandoned him, right? –

No. He curses her due to the influence of the base serpent. Messmer knew why he was sealed and was perfectly fine with it. However, when the Elden Ring was shattered, it was seen as a sign of wrath according to the wrath from afar description.

This would make Messmer have doubts which would turn into resentment. This resentment however, is overshadowed by his loyalty and love towards his mother as shown by him having only love and reverence when he speaks of her; her statue in his room is the only one with its head intact. He only curses her when the base serpent takes over. That thing is stated to be evil in multiple item descriptions as I have said earlier so it is not much of a stretch to assume that it would amplify any negative feelings Messmer would have once it takes over. I have also seen some people say that in the Japanese lines Messmer says ‘I curse you’, but the kanji of you he says is the most respectful one which suggests that he was fighting the base serpent for control. I could be wrong about the kanji but either way, what we gather is that 1) Messmer shows nothing but sheer reverence towards Marika before letting the base serpent take over him and 2) that the base serpent is called evil in all item descriptions which implies that it amplifies all negative emotions. This means Messmer was fine with being sealed until the Elden ring was shattered which caused him to have some amount of resentment. When he removed the seal, these feelings were amplified and he cursed his mother.

Other Interpretations I would like to refute-

Marika always planned to abandon Messmer because he was a threat to the Erdtree in one way or another- Impossible, as he returned home and was sealed after the night of the black knives. If she saw him as a threat, he would have been sealed right from the get go.

Marika abandoned him because the crusade got too violent- I’ll copy/paste my points from earlier, 1) the LOS was veiled during the crusade as we can see in the story trailer so how in the almighty name of fuck would anybody know it was violent? ’Oh someone could have travelled to LOS and seen the crusade.’ Marika is the only person capable of allowing travel between the realms, why would she allow a random noble to go to the LOS which is literally the place where all manners of death wash up. Why would any noble want to wander into the LOS anyway like they would know that is the place where the hornsent reside, you know the race of people racist to everyone without horns. 2) Even if it was violent why would the people of the erdtree mind it? Like they are fine with butchering omen babies and stick their horns on a cleaver and all the fucked up bulshit happening to albunaurics at volcano manor (we do see tortured albunaurics at Leynedell right before the entrance to the sewers). If they are fine with these practices, why would they take issue with the race of horned people who made the lives of all those living without horns miserable?

And that is the end of my post. If you disagree with anything feel free to argue. Do present your arguments pointwise

#elden ring #queen marika #queen marika the eternal #marika the eternal #messmer the impaler #elden ring marika #posted this on reddit as I strongly feel this theory is correct #zeromarikaslander #My next post will be about the omen twins. God knows when that will be done lol #I have some work tomorrow so I will check this the day after

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