#it's 4am what am I doing
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so your post caught me by the throat and wouldn’t let me go until I wrote one of those palindrome poems so here you go:
Once more You Give me hope. There is nothing I long to see more than A world so changed. So little can I truly fear now Nothing to do but wait With so many years to endure alone Still: I have faith
I’ve grown old More than that, I’ve grown wiser This world is full of light I can no longer say that Fate is unkind. I was wrong: You showed me Life could be beautiful I used to believe that Kindness was a weakness I didn’t listen when you told me that “We didn’t have to live this way” I was mistaken to say what I said to you: I was a fool. I’m sorry But it’s not enough, Love alone is oh so powerful I should’ve realized sooner You were right My friend
ATHENA + ODYSSEUS
I Can’t Help But Wonder animatic, Luiza Xavier Mazzei // Elektra, Sophokles // Intimacy, Hanif Kureishi // My Goodbye animatic, @wolfythewitch // Little Weirds, Jenny Slate // A Self-Portrait in Letter, Anne Sexton // Heartworm, thedictionaryofobscuresorrows.con // Warrior of the Mind animatic, @wolfythewitch // My Goodbye, Epic the Musical // God Games, Epic the Musical // I Can’t Help But Wonder animatic, Luiza Xavier Mazzei // The Life to Come and Other Stories, E.M. Forster // Remember Them, Epic the Musical // Odysseus, Epic the Musical // I Can’t Help But Wonder animatic, Luiza Xavier Mazzei // Palindrome Poetry, shadowpoetry.com // @/dcvina-claires // I Can’t Help But Wonder animatic, Luiza Xavier Mazzei // True Believer, Nicholas Sparks
#Athena is top-down Odysseus is bottom-up#the way these two undergo the same journey but in the opposite direction#I could scream#i hope you like:)#odysseus#athena#epic the musical#epic odysseus#epic Athena#it's 4am what am I doing
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I find it really interesting how Bill reiterates that he saw Ford as "a human pet" and a tool for him to use in his plans, but in the end the closest he has ever come to telling the truth to SOMEONE about what happened in Euclydia is to him of all people.
In the Book of Bill in the part about his past where all the redacted stuff is (where it is pretty much confirmed that he in fact, killed or is responsible for everyone dying) Bill himself tells the reader:
"The important thing is, I freed myself from my suffocating world, and freed everyone else too, and everyone loved me for it, and everyone was fine! And that's all there is to say about that! "
And well, it clearly is a lie to us, the readers, who just saw the previous paragraph full of people apparently screaming, seeing lots of blood, and being "the last one breathing". Bill also adds how every time he tries to talk about that day he starts hearing a loud buzzing as well as black outs for half a minute which is a super normal response when you are just freeing people and stuff(/j) . Things is tho, this version where everyone " was freed" Seems to be the official version, the one that Bill tells everyone. This is seen in the new webpage where by putting "tantrum" you see a scene where Time Baby straight up calls Bill out on killing everyone and Bill's henchmen are surprised by it as they were told by him that "he liberated the people of his dimension".
Even when he first met Ford, he says "I went no contact with my home dimension and I don't regret it", which implies that he was ready to feed him that version initially. But THEN later on you get the Scene™. It's not until after some time has passed between them when Bill tells him about how his entire home dimension was destroyed... By a monster, all while looking uncharacteristically distant. And sure one could argue that it was a play on Ford's emotions, to try to win him over and manipulate him further but it's too touchy of a subject for even his henchmen to know. The same interview on the webpage where he talks about manipulating Ford, preying on his insecurities and him being a human pet, ends with the interviewer asking "Let's talk about your parents" And Bill automatically shutting it down altogether. When he gets drunk after him and Ford part ways he calls for "a Sixer" And in the same scene starts calling out to his mom.
In the end the closest he has ever come to owning up to it to anyone that isn't himself (and even then, seems like he's forced to by the voices that keep weighting on his conscience as seen in the webpage) is to Ford. And he won absolutely nothing from it.
As another fun detail, in the webpage if you type "Lies" You get a whole page of Bill talking about lying and it ends with a graphic that says "Lie until you aren't lying anymore".
And what's the input used to get the interview where Bill talks about Ford and calls him a human pet and a tool?
"Evenhisliesarelies".
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FELLOW HONEST SHAKES
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst playful land#I TOLD MYSELF NOT TO FALL FOR ANOTHER EUROPEAN MF#LET ALONE HE'S A FOX#IF HE ENDS UP BEING A PIECE OF SHIT I AM DONE FOR#HE'S SO ..SO... MISCHIEVOUS LOOKING I WANNA PISS HIM OFF#FIGHT AND DEFY HIM Y'KNOW??????#is his name really fellow honest#WHATEVER WITH HIM AND ACE IN THE SAME ROOM I CAN TAKE THEM#ORANGE IS MY FAVORITE COLOR 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ (IT IS NOT)#GOOD LOOOOOOOIRF it's 4am#fuck that damn smirk I WANNA PULL YOUR EARS#i need sleep but my mind is running wITH ALL THESE CIRCUS POSSIBILITIES AND#WHAT THIS MAN CAN DO#I KNOW YOU. I KNOW WHAT YOUR OG CHARACTER DID TO PINOCCHIO BUDDY#GRINDING MY TEETH ON HIS TAIL
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(thanks to the defrost tiktok anon) Eric would be on the cooking duty and Francesca would be trying to either push things off the table or steal something from the counter constantly or play with moving metal kitchenwares to the point that Eric has to decide that the safest way of him to cook in peace is by holding Francesca all the time while cooking so that she doesn't do anything
artistic rendition cause you be cooking here .............
#magneto#erik lehnsherr#francesca the cat#snap sketches#i told myself no more fran drawings this week/next weekend so i could focus on other stuff..... but how could i resist this idea vjELRKVERV#THIS ONE I CAN DO QUICK ANYWAY BUT PLEEEEEASE#put her in the baby sling ........... just to make sure she dont do nothin ...#so funny this resonated with my soul so hard because sometimes i watch this mom cook but she'll have her baby In The Baby Sling#obsessed i am.....#on that note. its already 10pm wtf i have to drive at like 4AM#the weekend's already gone and i didnt draw anything i said i would jeRLEJAJLV#thats been my weekend every week hasnt it. say ill draw a thing and then get too busy to do so vjaeLKvkl#a travesty but i might have a lil time to do somethin else. kinda for myself also kinda answerig an ask#i mean again this just one of those rare moments where plans i already had coincide with an ask so might as well ig#ok bye bye we'll see what happens
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one riddle you can’t solve
#UGHHH it’s 4am and i’m riddlerposting#the riddler#edward nygma#dc#dcu#batman#hqbitverse#my art#when ur forced to be an overachiever during childhood and you can never meet that level of achievement ever again#ermmmm what the sigma#‘if i can’t be the best at what i do then what am i?’ lookin ass
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Get a little dizzy sometimes when i think about how there might be someone out there waiting to love me that they might be there wondering about who they might end up with in the future and that could be ME that they’re out there waiting for me to love them too like ohhh we’re so far apart but we’re both real and waiting and persevering just for the chance to meet each other some day like i feel winded
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#who are you?? what are you doing now??? are you happy? i want you to be happy#like ahhh i go crazy over it#sitting up at 4am in shambles worrying over someone i don’t know#who might not even be REAL#i don’t care though i love them and hope they’re okay out there#i hope we can meet and love each other and take care of each other and have fun#😮💨#am i making sense#idk if im making sense#but yeah this#im gay and i like sleeping
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realized a drawing i'm doing rn is almost identically posed to one i did 8.5 years ago of a different oc, except the old drawing was instantly tainted by one of the players featured messaging me asking if i could take it down because their abusive, possessive rp partner saw it and got jealous of them "roleplaying behind their back" and i said "nah" and it became a whole Thing that i should have walked away from at that exact moment but didn't and the 6 months that followed contained some of the most truly condensed batshit i have ever witnessed in an rp community already well-known for its batshittery.
... anyway i love my friends. so happy to accidentally redeem the pose.
#idk if ill ever open up completely about that shitshow but#i think 8 years is past the statute of limitations to vaguepost about it#late tag addition but man now i'm thinking about it all at 4am#how did in the good goddamn did i witness that and still not only let them make me an officer#but also let them put me functionally in charge of their guild IC#while those two fucked off and erped in instanced zones or played overwatch#and i and my then-rp-partner took the heat for the meandering plotline#until my partner vented to the wrong person about the abuse#and it got back to them#and we got to experience the surreality of an honest to god guild coup#all to salvage the image of some egomaniac abuser#certified fucking wra moment#its been 8 years and thinking about how i was treated in the end makes me feel sick lol#they made a new guild discord and invited everyone but us#and when i noticed the channel had gone quiet i asked what was up#and was met with gaslighting about how i'm 'thinking too much' about the channel being a 'little slow'#and it took pushing to get an early admission of what was about to happen#so we logged on and quit ourselves#which fucked up the narrative they had constructed#and they lied in the new channel that WE were the ones doing a 'coup' and that we stole the members who left with us#i guess i am opening up after all#i had to play the fucking villain of that scenario for the past 8 years#all to protect the mental health of people who hurt me#why#if you were there and know what i'm referencing with all of this... there's the fucking story#the person in question is a massively popular artist#i just dont have it in me to fight that fight
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Pac comes back from purgatory.
It was hell but it had its moments of fun. Bonded with new people and survived every plague thrown at them.
But when he gets back. He cries tears of joy. Finally his home. He doesn't have to worry about disasters every hour and eye looking creatures. He celebrates and goes to spawn to see everyone gathering and relieved everything is going to be fine.
"Pac!"
He sees Fit in the distance and run, as fast as he can. Fit is running too. Pac is with an expression that Fit interpret as anguish and anxiety but also... Hope?
Pac doesn't even say anything and just hugs him, making Fit almost fall but he's a strong man, he can take it. And Pac hugs him so hard. Fit is little surprised, with the feeling of seeing Pac again, with the feeling of the warm. But he doesn't hesitate, just hugs him back just as tight, trying to contain his emotions to not overflow.
They stay quiet for a couple seconds, just hugging each other like no one's around. Fit can feel that Pac is crying, trembling and murmuring things in his chest.
"Are you okay Pac?"
"I will be... Can we leave for a quieter place?" Everyone is talking with each other at spawn, making a mess celebrating that everyone is back.
Pac is still hugging him, Fit doesn't complain.
They teleport to Fit & Ramon and go to Fit's room. Pac sit on the bed sighting relived.
"Sorry, I sitted here without asking, oh my god I'm all dirty and sweat sorry sorry" Pac's already standing.
"No no no, don't worry. You can seat wherever you want, don't worry about that. I can change the bed's clothes or whatever. Feel free to do whatever you like."
"Thank you Fit" Pac sits again.
So they talk. Mostly Pac. He talks all about the hell he went through. Fit who was standing now is sitting next to Pac. And Fit notices, every little -and big- new cut and wound. The messy hair and the dirty clothes, how Pac looks so tired. And Fit is so annoyed about that, how he couldn't protect him from all this. When Pac stops talking there is an awkward silence.
"Are you okay Fit?"
"Yeah just- I wish- I wish I was there."
"Oh c'mon, you don't need to say that. You have to take care of Ramon, right? I mean, I didn't need to worry to much because Richas still has Forever but-"
Fit holds Pac's hand with a serious look and Pac seems nervous.
"I missed you."
And Pac looks suprised, but doesn't move.
"I missed you too"
They stay like this for a moment.
"Can we have a date without dungeons, please?" Pac says with a laughing tone. "I'm kinda of tired from fighting."
Fit laughs in response and look away ashamed that he admitted it was a date.
"Of course, I mean, we can go on a adventure another day"
"Ooh yeah, I need a bath Fit! I'm stinking!" Pac says with a joking tone.
"Oooh god!" Fit laughs.
And they joke and make fun of one another.
They never leave each others hands.
#copium for all of us guys#copium for you for you and for you#fitpac#cant sleep#it was supposed to be angst but my heart wouldn't survive#hideduo#pac qsmp#q pactw#q fitmc#fit qsmp#q pac#q fit#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#purgatory 2#headcanon#maybe angst next#sorry its 4am what am i doing
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i guess i have to say it a million times since people insist on being dense: gale is just as much of a victim as the other companions. this isn't the trauma olympics. everyone has been through shit and deserves healing and redemption.
gale is not the self entitled, manipulative abuser people are painting him as. he's a lot of things, but nothing so heinous. he was groomed by a goddess who has a history of preying on wizards that threaten her power, and as a result, gale's ambition and faith was what drove him to discover the netherese orb. what he did was for mystra - in his mind, it was to prove his love by restoring her missing power - and by extension for the betterment of mortals. his actions were never malicious or selfish, in fact he puts himself so low on the priority list it's pretty much non existent. he was never going to use that power to usurp her, but mystra definitely saw it like that, which is why she didn't hesitate to present suicide as his only solution. he never crossed her personal boundaries in the way people are twisting it, he only wanted to cross the boundaries she put on wizards and their power.
people who insist he's all of these things and more clearly only spoke to him once or lack the reading comprehension to see past how much of an unreliable narrator he is. i can understand first impressions might put some people off, but you can say the same about the other companion introductions. i don't like comparing but since people insist on doing it; gale is one of the easiest companions to get along with just by being a good person, yet his honesty and selflessness makes people think he's secretly evil? while the companions with the capacity to be evil don't even try to hide it? how are people being so backwards about this? it's genuinely baffling and tiring to see people continuously spit out incorrect takes all too confidently.
no one is forcing anyone to like him, but it's unfair to completely mischaracterize him because you refuse to learn critical thinking. i promise using your brain is not as scary as it seems, or you can just. not talk about things you don't understand.
#all of them have issues but that doesn't mean they're irredeemable monsters. unless you push them to but that's on you#people are shocked that astarions ascended ending is so bad. yeah what did you expect from a soul sacrificing ritual for power lol#i cannot stress this enough. i don't care if people don't like gale. i care and am annoyed about the complete lack of media literacy skills#to the point where people are ruining such interesting characters. its a shame people can't appreciate good writing when we finally get it#anyway whatever idk if this makes sense its like 4am and ive looked at this post for too long#i have so much more to say but again its like not worth telling if it falls on deaf ears#gale dekarios#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3#bg3#six speaks#and no obviously im not saying the others are worse im just saying how do people accept astarion when hes Actually manipulative but not gale#i love star but we cant pretend hes not like that . and we cant pretend that gale is
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A doodle I did of Makoto based on this prompt
Wanted to try a different coloring style
#whumpcode#rain code#makoto kagutsuchi#master detective archives: rain code#rain code spoilers#pixeldoodles#my art#wanted to try out a grayscale color fever#honestly fevers look great in manga so I wanted to try a half grayscale half color type of doodle.#and yeah this prompt made me want to make makoto suffer again#hardworking workaholic just doesn't know when to quit#he took off his suit because of how hot he feels#nothing too impressive its just something I did LOL#I'm still in a funk ORZ but I found some time to doodle something#its 4am what am I doing lol
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#i don't know what the hell possessed me to make this at 4am but i did#this is so stupid and yet this is so funny to me why#whose gonna be the JohnnyCash to my ChonnyJash 💔#worst thing I've ever typed#i do not listen to Cash at all. only time is like on the radio & i havent heard him [that i know of] since i was like 10-12 & I am almost 2#21* lol#but maybe love can change that ❤ [says the guy who is very aroace]#chonny jash#moss posts#has this joke been made before???? i have no clue
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headcanon that scorpius was a sick child and was in and out of hospital constantly, perhaps related to astoria's blood curse but not directly. his immune system isnt very strong, and everytime he gets sick they're terrified that it's the blood curse but also whatever else it could be, because it's always so sudden and so intense and they call healers over to the house who recommend this delirious feverish 4 year old is hospitalised immediately, and you'd think it'd get easier to some extent because they'd be used to it, but everytime they feel like this is it, this is the time he'll walk in to the hospital and not walk out again
#this headcanon has no purpose im just thinking of scorpius in bed like a sickly victorian child with scarlet fever or something#asking if he'll make it to sunrise lmfao#so then he hates hospitals with a passion#my friend from school was in them constantly he was even a make a wish kid and he can not fucking stand the places so#headcanon scorpius becomes a healer anyway lmao#im sick and this is how im coping by putting baby scorp in hospital lmfao#it just made draco that little bit more protective#lucius made an insensitive comment about it once and draco was ready to throw hands#this headcanon doesnt really go anywhere ive just decided scorpius was a sick child#he has sick child energy lmfao#he still knows some of his doctors/healers because he was there so frequently#just imaging lil scorp in a hospital bed and draco and astoria are sleeping in the room on like uncomfortable chairs and the fever finally#breaks and hes like uh daddy im hungry and its like 4am but draco couldnt care less cause scorp hasnt been able to eat anything for days#let alone ask for food directly and baby scorp is wondering why his parents are acting so damn weird just cause he asked for some toast#but once hes grown up whenever he gets sick its on such a lower level than what it used to be when he was a kid because his immune system#got better that he struggles to gauge when other people would usually stop trying to do daily activities and albus has to start wrestling#scorpius back to bed instead of going to class cause scorpius really youre practically dying and hes like pfff you wanna see dying? use tha#timeturner one more time and go back to see me at literally any point between 2 and 10 i am FINE#(he absolutely was not fine)#scorpius malfoy#albus potter#draco malfoy#hpcc#scorbus#this is so many tags im so sorry
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compilation of my other fav palette challenges from the years past... i should do them again sometime......
chara #9 belongs to @askbookwormflareon
#granted theres a glaring issue in one of them#i am not pointing it out lest you end up noticing it when you wouldnt normally~#my art#art q#digital painting#oc#mew#pokemon#purrloin#also i put in my request for availability change#apparently they can reject it...#i just cited second job as reason as to why i need mondays off now#my manager is gonna be super pissed tho cuz they always get mad at everyone who changes their availability#but like i mentally cant keep up with the randomised schedule#esp when i could find out the day before my day off that its my only day i can do comms#i dont have enough time to work my schedule for that w chores and having to go buy food or cat food etc etc#it will come into effect start of next month if they accept it#if they dont then ill just keep resubmitting until they write me upfor it lol idk#i was even nice and specifically asked other higher up staff what the best day to ask off was so it didnt hurt them too bad#but i ranted in stream the other day how like im not responsible for if the store gets fucked just cuz i took one day off my schedule yanno#its not my job to keep that from happening#also im part time and if i was full time id still have 2 guaranteed days off so like ??? idk#scared abt getting the cold shoulder and whatnot the next few weeks from the manager tho#also i stayed up till 4am by accident#and got up at 8am anyways#wish my ass luck
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Daryl doodles and a rare caryl thing :]
#it is 4am oh my gosh what am i doing#daryl doodles#daryl dixon#twd#daryl twd#the walking dead#carol peletier#carol twd#caryl#twd daryl
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tri!wilson my beloved
bonus doodles under the cut :3
#frances moves their wrist what will they do#mspaint#yet another 4am hypixeluhc banger#amen#was listening to the distortionist on loop while drawing this#really brought out my inner 14 year old listening to that shit#shoutouts to 2017 actually no nvm do NOT shoutout 2017#wilson dont starve#wilson p higgsbury#wilson percival higgsbury#tri!wilson#triumphant wilson#dont starve#dont starve together#i cannot fucking spell today dude#please#:3#doodles#kinda#whatever its 4:30 am dude i work tomorrow wish me luck gang#wilson dst
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"I just can't believe i'm back here again..." "making offerings to the dirt?" "something like that"
#it’s 4am#i couldn’t get them out my mind#so here i am making gifs for the first time in seven years#what a wild ride loving this show has been#first inspiring me to draw#then inspiring me to write fanfic#and now inspiring me to make gifs??#things i haven’t touched in literal years!!!#i don’t know what this show#what this SHIP is doing to me#but all i know is that i’m here for the ride#and we all know it’s gonna be a bumpy one#taissa turner#yellowjackets#van palmer#taivan#taissa x van#hmm i need a new edit tag#mine
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