#it's 2am i am HAVING a moment
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I'm soo normal about giant alien faceless cyborg/robots with multiple limbs that glow. I need them. I mean I need more of them
#it's 2am i am HAVING a moment#first is al-an MY BELOVEDDDD from subnautica below zero#second is from lost in space#i never watched past s1 of that i rlly should finish. for the hawt alien robots <3#anyway. yeag#subnautica#lost in space#fenn.post
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Happy SWSAnniversary!
This one's for you @psychologicalwarclaire! Finally can give a proper thank you for writing my favorite rise fic of all time. Here's to a Spider's Web with Strings Attached's one year anniversary! What better way to commemorate this with a little comic featuring the very beginning?
For those who are just stumbling on this comic, please go read the fic its based on! I cannot praise and recommend it enough!!
#you have no idea how happy i am to finally share some swsa fanart#i unfortunately am a bit of a perfectionist#this was not supposed to be fully colored but my hand slipped#imagine titling a comic voided colors and then NOT using color to its fullest potetial#would you believe me if I told you this is the first multi page comic I finished?#I actually didn't intend to do this for swsanniversary#but i knew my other project wouldn't be finished in time#so I threw together this#and prob spent the exact same amount of time I wouldve needed to finish the other thing#yes this is just the beginning#i have so much more in store for you#but most likely no more comics haha#SWSANNIVERSARY#shhh I know im technically an hour late#but I hope it was worth the wait#:]#rottmnt#rottmnt comic#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#tmnt#tmnt fanart#pixels tortle art#rottmnt fanfic fanart#rottmnt fanfic recs#swsa#swsa fanart#thank you curly :]#2am moment
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sometimes i wonder if m a dnd elitist and then i remember no. i actually just enjoy a wide spread of ttrpg systems indie and mainstream. and just get very annoyed that everyone else in the world is seemingly too allergic to shopping around for systems so instead of finding an indie system that does what they want. theyll just break dnd to the point where it doesnt even resemble dnd anymore. like oh? youre playing dnd 5e but youve changed half the stat names and all basic mechanics? and the only dice you roll is d6s?? GO BUY MONSTER OF THE WEEK. THAT IS THE SYSTEM U WANNA PLAY IT ALREADY EXISTS AND IS VERY FUN. YOU CAN PLAY OTHER GAMES ITS OKAY I PROMISE
#dnd is my least favorite system ive ever fucking played which is how i know m not a dnd elitist/snob#and am infact just an asshole who wishes people would branch to other systems#i also think dnd is just. a bad game if your table wants a roleplay narrative focused game because inherently#there are no mechanics to reward player interactions thats all homebrew and dnd doesnt really Allow for reward mechanics#but like thats a whole different conversation that i am simply not going to have at 2am. or ever#i might have it one day but. def not now#something something i think its beautiful that people make dnd into a roleplay narrative game. but it is infact. a dungeon war game.#and where dnd excels in my opinion is as a dungeon crawl puzzle game where you Can make lil guys who have compelling moments
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tbh we need to buy matching stuffed animals to send each other pictures of whenever we are apart
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#i an So Sleepy#waking up at 2am to yearn for a bit and now i going back to sleep#i had a 5 hour exam earlier and i have never been more in love with sleep#it’s good i don’t have a gf idk if i’d love her more than sleep rn i am so tired#but my brain was like: but what if matching stuffed animals#and she was right😤#and i wanted to share the revelation before i forgot it#i love u i hope u get some really good sleep soon i hope you have a good day i hope u get to laugh i hope u get a peaceful moment
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:Emerges bloody and beaten: finished Veilguard
#i as always in the moment dont have many Thoughts beyond: ahhhhhhh#(also its 2am lmao oops)#will mostly need to marinate on any real concreate musings for now lmao#but i am just. as a lover of tragic romances and being a never smoocher the end game compelled me in ways never known.....#you can probably guess where my path went with that lmaoooooo annnnnnnnywayyyyyyyy#da:v posting#biting chewing spitting out bioware#NEVE smoocher i meant of course grrrrr#i stand by that its 2am and also i dont have autocorrect on my phone
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The one unfortunate thing about GTW being inked digitally instead of traditionally is....traditional hatching was really one of the best insomnia solutions I had.
Sometimes I wonder if I should just pencil up an 'in case of insomnia' piece. But the premeditated element of that seems like it'd just trigger insomnia. It was nicer when it was cos I had a behemoth project that I could keep working on but would also put me to sleep.
#my sleep problems aren't as bad as they used to be#but I do still have moments...usually if I'm not asleep by 2am it doesnt matter what I do I won't sleep until morning#and my insomnia is annoying too because it's not like...I'm overthinking or stressed or whatever#I JUST LAY THERE LIKE A CORPSE....HEAD EMPTY....and just don't sleep#all this to say I am really staggering about today and thinking about how I'm gonna last another 6 hours#also do not give me insomnia advice lol...whatever you're gonna say I tried it#lorazepam is what works but that is something I prefer to avoid if at all possible...and I don't have a scrip for it anymore ne way
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when the song is so great you gotta pull the
#i could probably ap the expert but it's 2am and i'm lazy. one day maybe.#also uh i'm really trying to enjoy the icsk cover but#it's not even that i'm still salty about it not going to wxs (i am. but i learned how to cope) (it's not their type of instrumental anyways)#and also i should be happy because it's icsk!! my faves!! and it actually fits them!!#but it was not their. strongest moment#luka's the main issue i love luka but her tuning here is weird. why would they put luka here anyways.#the chorus' very good though#and saki's voice sounds pretty in it even though i'm usually not a fan of her voice#WE NEED A SAKI ALT#unless we already have one i'm not rlly caught up with jpsekai alts#maybe the full ver will do it justice though 😔#anyways lost time memory next pretty please#it's still my fav vocaloid song ever#ri says the less serious things. the tag
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I just wanted to say thank you sm for everything you're doing to feed us zhancheng shippers!!! ily and I hope that your pillow is always cool and your feet never hurt and every drink you drink is super duper extra refreshing xx
thank *you* for these very kind words!
drawing zhancheng has been bringing me so much comfort actually, part of it because i've been thinking about them and having a lot of feelings for them lately, but mostly because everyone has been so kind with my zhancheng art. i've been in multiple fandoms over the last years but none of them has ever felt as safe and nice as the zhancheng fandom. i've never had so many people interacting with me and say so many nice things since idk. 2021? if you ever let a comment under my art or rb it with compliments in tags, just know that each one of your words brought me SO much joy.
i've been having a hard time interacting with fandoms i've been in these last months/years, my social anxiety and insecurities getting worse as time passes lol. i always feel awkward when being the one starting an interaction, too afraid of being a bother. but everyone has been so nice, i'm desperate to talk to more people so please feel free to come and talk to me about mdzs and zhancheng🥹i adore them, i adore this show, and i need more friends to share all my thoughts and headcanons and enthusiasm aaaa
(digressed and ended up talking a lot but again anon, tysm for sending this message! this made me smile so hard thank you for brightening my night <3)
#oughhh i'm emotional sorry for rambling#and thank you again to all the zhancheng enjoyers for making this fandom feel like a safe place#i am!! not done with them yet!!#currently working on another drawing actually#tbh i'm scared of the moment i'll move on to my next obsession#bc i never want to get out of the zhancheng brainrot#ever again#best fandom i've ever been in#also sorry if there are any typos/if grammar is off#it's 2am for me i don't have working braincells anymore
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Normalise laying on the side of the bed as if your hopelessly in love and heartbroken at the same time while listing to edit songs for when you feel as such even though your aren't in love or heartbroken rn
You're just hopelessly in love and heartbtoken with the feeling of the moment you're in
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Oh no I accidentally started making a comic of Hiji.kata and mt s/i's first serious moment together oh dear-
#pan rambles#not even gotta use my art tag bc it's so messy and I didn't even mean to draw this so late at night-#IF YOU'RE CURIOUS ABOUT THE CONTEXT THOUGH-#Basically my Gin.tama s/i is a thief so they like to mess around with Hiji.kata often by stealing his wallet#A lot of their interactions are just played for jokes at first but eventually that have their first serious moment ™#My s/i gets pretty beaten up one night and they bump into Hiji.kata right before passing out#Instead of arresting s/i right then and there...he takes them somewhere safe and patches them up#Once s/i is awake again he makes up am excuse for why he saved them and such amd yeah-#but yeah. that whole serious moment is the beginning of the two seeing each other as more than just the usual cop and robber dynamic#also it's gonna be 2am fairly soon so I'mma sleeo now. Goodnight y'all!!
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*incoherent noises*
Senseless writing drama in the tags because what is life without a bit of dramatics 😎
#I wanted to write Aang with a super ticklesh spine because that such a lovely headcanon for me and he and Zuko were having a tickle fight#and I already have all the scene planned out in my head I even got an interesting idea to add on his reaction and then BOOM#I remember Aang has IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS BACK the SCAR OF THE DAY HE DIED#and I want to write the back tickles *so much* but now I have to add an emotional moment because that happened because of Zuko's SISTER#after his BETRAYAL#i am the most sad#don't get me wrong I luv writing emotional moments and bonding and fluff but I really just wanted these two becoming a mess of laughter#and giggles and tickles and silliness#*incoherent noises*#also I could one hundred percent just change the tickle spot but I am now INVESTED in this idea so I shall add more 1000 words to this fic#cahcwyeggwvwhaaaaaaaaaaa#I will be staying until like 2am for this won't I#but it's for the fluff so it's worth it 😔💛 for the fluff and the giggles#kanene being kanene#the atla tickle fic that no one asked and everyone will be receiving#the idea isn’t even revolutionary or anything like that I am just soft for the idea of someone running their index finger on Aang's spine#and the boy jump 192762 feets in the air and stay floating there while giggling his heart's content#look the world needs more lee aang and I am taking this matter onto my own hands
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having some time alone in the hotel this week (which is abt to end bc we’re moving back home tmrrw even though the renovation isn’t finished 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪) and being able to have the bedroom to myself has made me think rebellious thoughts my family would be very offended over. like maybe i listened to less and less music these last few years due in part to the fact that ive spentmore time at home than i used to and i also lived on campus w roommates in a very uncomfortable arrangement and im unable to move freely about the cabin when im living w other ppl whose needs don’t align w mine and so ive just gotten used to not having all of my needs met and always being the person to take the short end of the stick…. but i actually need to be able to sing and dance and draw and do whatever and when im alone (which is almost never) im able to do that and that’s actually legit and as important as anyone else’s needs in a space i share w them. idk if i worded that well but yeah
#like yes it’s definitely that ive been depressed… but maybe that dynamic creates the depression. you know?#purrs#delete later#not to say this bc it’s BLASPHEMOUS but i was also thinking abt this in the context of my bday. i was happiest in the moments where i was ei#either alone (dancing / singing / whatever and doing karaoke w mtself at 2am LOLLLL and just enjoying having peace and quiet and being able#to do what i wanted) or at work (around ppl i choose to be with in a place i choose to be in). any time i was around my family i was#agitated and annoyed and maybe some of it has to do w the renovation and the fact that we were at home for like 4 hrs moving furniture bc of#the renovation but also… maybe it’s just i don’t enjoy spending ng time w them as much as i do other things. like passively spending time at#around them bc there’s ALWAYS noise or conversation or bickering or whatever. and also in part bc i share my bday w my twin sister so its#not actually *my* day it’s ours and we’re lumped together and treated as a unit and my parents have expectations abt that and whatever. idk.#i don’t want to be / sound selfish or ungrateful for my family or whatever bc being a twin has its perks and my family situation could be so#much worse and it’s not like i had a horrible birthday or it wasn’t acknowledged or whatever. but my point is… what if… there will come a#point in my life… where the majority of things i do / people im around / aspects of my environment are things i get to choose or at the very#least have a say in. what if someday my birthday can just be my birthday and not OUR birthday(which again is the evilest most horrible thing#i have ever said in my life i know i know i know but ummmmm being a twin has dealt some significant psychological damage to me and i am#still figuring out how to be an independent person and how to determine who i am outside of the context of that relationship which most ppl#at this age / stage in life have already had years to do). idk what i was saying i lost the thread but basically: i love having alone time#where i am truly alone and i get to sing and dance and make music and eat and whatever without being yelled at or having to be quiet or#getting overstimulated. and that is not to say that i do not appreciate company or would not want to live with other people. i think im#actually kind of an ambivert now where i used to be very extroverted. but i think my biggest thing is choice. i value choice so so so much.#which is ironic in some ways bc here i am not wanting to like mess up the original layout of my acnh island… idk. it’s situational but i thi#think w the big stuff choicemeans so much to me. and i wish that was more okay to my family than it is bc asserting myself and growing into#my independence has been and will continue to be an extremely painful and unpleasant process bc no one is happy w it lol. ok ive been talkin#talking A LOT more than i thought i would and i still have more thoughts but i need to stop and keep packing out the hotel lol. bye#‘being a twin has its perks’ sounds so terrible omg. i meant that like.. it is a gift to be a twin and i love my sister. AND there are parts#of it that fucking suck ass and hopefully those parts will recede once we are living separate lives and have gotten distance from dynamics
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would y'all know what I meant if I said I'm always someone's friend but they're never mine?
#ace speaks#I'm just#having a moment#ugh#but I do not want to talk (lying)#I guess I just need to stew in my room until 2am#hrngh#we are not live laugh loving today folks#no one ever knows meee I am a little creature in the corner of a caveee#also I think I am having a psychotic episode or some kind of episode#so do not take me seriously <3#9/10 chance I will wake up tomorrow and be like yo what the fuck was that post#heehoo#tw vent
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cant wait till i get to netherborne beetlejuice attempting to make actual real human food because i get to source it directly from the abombinations i come up with when ive procrastianted going shopping and/or procrastinating making dinner till midnight
#case in point i did both today#2am and i am eating microwave baked potato#tinned chicken in sauce i bought out of curiosity (not terrible but not particularly good)#and 2 stalks of wilting celery#i do make myself decent food most of the time but i have my moments
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it’s probably just the depressions and the dissociative disorders but I often feel like I’m just possessing my own dead body
#i feel wrong. fake. gone. in a way that I can never explain#i few twisted like im watching someone just. wither away and I want to help them but it’s me#everything feels so heavy and so weird#and idk it’s like the small things#my lips seem to move different my eyes seems slightly too far apart#my reflection takes too long to change#just a second too long#am I losing my fucking mind#n of course this isn’t helped by the misfit toys#hm. that’s very specific wording that I personally don’t use#I’m not gonna dwell on it too much but I see u#either way#idk I just feel too long too short too unbaalanced#it may be the drink. I feel so much resentment for so many people rn it’s insane but but but the stuff I use to help w my bpd rlly works#just cause I feel like ass at one moment doesn’t my feelings r right n even if people constant treat me like SHIT it doesn’t actually mean#they treat me like shit I just perceive it#at least Chevys back home for another day. so many of those thoughts go away when they’re around#I just wish my brain knew it wasn’t like. always go time I want to be able to relax fr#esp since my ass does NOTHING IM JUST A SACK of shit or something idk#it’s 2am I have to be up at 8 lmaooo i fuckin hate it here. I’ve gathered that I’m just depressed and nothing is actually wrong#well I mean there is. I’m very mentally ill and am constantly surrounded by stressors so I’ll never really be able to heal until I leave#but besides that things r pretty okay :’) I will be okay#I thought abt my butch once and now I’m 60% less breakdowny I love lesbianism
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