#it'd be a shock death and y'all know it

[jonathanbyersphd]

Also like I truly, really, honestly believe in my heart that it's necessary for Jonathan to leave so that Will can fully grow into his own person and finish his coming off age story but like y'all don't wanna hear me you just wanna dance

[lightofraye]

Debunking Nonsense Against Jared

There's apparently some crap about Jared that is just absolute nonsense. Full of lies and bullshit.

It'd be one thing if people just didn't like him. It happens. Not everyone is likeable. You're not expected to like him. But don't pull up lies to explain why you don't like him. Especially when they've been debunked again and again and again.

1. The "racist" tattoo. Y'all, this is nonsense. It's been debunked over and over and over. It's not a racist tattoo. For one, it's lacking the logo of "Come and take it", which would make it a racist tattoo. But a lone star above a cannon does not a racist tattoo make.

Jared is a proud Texan. He also donates to many a charity and organization that help people, speaking out about them often. Not to mention, prior to pro-gun rights appropriating the symbol and logo, it stood for a proud history in Texas. Jared would've known.

So how about instead of focusing on a mere tattoo, come up with more proof that Jared is a racist? Hmm?

Besides, if you're mad at Jared's tattoo, are you then mad at Jensen's t-shirt, which did show the saying as well?

2. Fighting with fans online. Oh come on. Misha's done it. (Misha's done worse, in fact.) Danneel's done it. Jared doing it does not a bad person make. And I don't think he's done it in a long time.

And of course, people will go "Danneel was hitting back!" And? What's the difference? Jared was hitting back too. Danneel went a step farther most of the time, siccing her followers on them, threatening them with Clif, even ran crying to Clif because people were being "mean".

3. RE: Prequelgate. Give me a fucking break! Jared was right to be upset! He called and texted Jensen for hours before he gave up and responded to that tweet about The Winchesters announcement. Jensen also lied about not being allowed cellphones on The Boys set. When they weren't filming, they were allowed. (Of course they can't have their cellphones on their person during filming, unless it suited the scene!) Besides all that, Jared honestly didn't know about it! Kripke was even shocked when he learned Jared didn't know! Supernatural and its legacy is as much Jared's as it was Jensen's! The whole freakin' industry gave Jensen a massive side-eye for his unprofessional behavior. Kevin Smith, a man who has directed, written, and acted in the industry, thought it was uncool. Also, Jared wasn't drunk.

4. Supposed bully accusations. I'd need to see more of this to believe it, but outside of occasionally putting Misha in his bullshit place, I've never heard of Jared bullying anyone. Everyone he's worked with has sung his praises. The only one who hasn't is Misha and that's because Jared won't let Misha put him down. And in fact, has had to step in to stop Misha from torturing Jensen. So fuck off with your noise.

5. His fanbase. Is he now responsible for his fanbase? I never knew that. What about Misha's fanbase sending Jensen death threats for denouncing Destiel? Has Misha ever stopped that? What about AAs hoping for Jared to suicide after Walker was cancelled?

6. What about Genevieve? Oh come on! Do I like that Gen is featuring the kids a lot? Myself, no. But if Jared was truly bothered by it, I'm sure he would've spoken to Genevieve. And Gen isn't any different than many other mommy influencers. I'm not keen on exploiting the kids like that, but would you say the same about Danneel abruptly grabbing the kids at Wales Comic Con and dragging them out for a photo op? All because she had no one in line for her autographs and desperate for attention?

7. Jared's Hair. Apparently there are some claiming Jared had gotten hair plugs. My response to that is: So what? Misha's had plastic surgery (trust me, it's obvious--his eyes and clearly lip fillers). Danneel's had worse--her hair is fried, bad extensions, plastic surgery galore that has ruined her hair line because of facelifts, fillers, Botox, and breast implants (twice!). Jensen's likely had a bit of work too.

So. Fucking. What. About Jared's hair?

--

Come up with truthful reasons to hate Jared, hmm? Not bullshit.

[restinslices]

Could u write earthrealm guys with a vampire reader? And like sometimes she feeds on them 👀

*asks for vampire requests* *proceeds to procrastinate*

Johnny Cage 

Honestly it'd probably take him awhile to grasp how serious the situation is 

It's not that he wouldn't believe you, but he'd probably think you're joking at first 

Says something like “yeah and I'm a werewolf”

You insist that you're serious and something about the tone of your voice makes him realize you're being truthful 

He saw that crazy shit in Outworld so it's not completely unreasonable 

He's kinda jealous though 

You're gonna be young and hot forever? And you have powers? Sounds like bullshit to him 

He probably asks questions that have to do with your age and how long you've been alive 

I think he would weirdly find you drinking from him kinda hot, especially depending on when and where you drink from him 

Drinking from him shuts him up for awhile since he's all dazed, so it'd be understandable if you drank from him a lot 

I don't even think he'd cover up the marks. He treats him as if they're hickies 

He's probably told the other champions too because his mouth is big 

And knowing Johnny, he's thinking of all the movies you could be in since people love vampires 

Also knowing Johnny, if you can compel people, he'd use that for his benefit 

If all you have to do is say a couple words and his debt is forgiven, then he's definitely using that 

He sees how many pros there are and asks to be turned 

The thing is though, he's only looking at the pros

You have to continuously remind him of the cons but it goes in one ear and out the other 

He will not let it go at all. You don't have to turn him right away, but if you don't give him a specific date for when he'd be turned, he'd become insufferable 

Becomes Bella Swan lowkey-

Kenshi Takahashi

Probably also thinks you're joking 

Once it's clear you're not though, y'all can lowkey be a power couple 

Imagine it for a second 

You both cutting through the Yakuza and restoring his clan 

You being a vampire makes it a lot easier. He's fighting, you're eating. It's going great 

He's not too bothered by the whole vampire thing. There's a few quirks that may throw him off, but overall it's ok 

When it comes to feeding off him, uhhhh… he's a bit shaky about it 

I think that's a valid reaction too

You'd ask and he'd be like “um… do you have to?”

He'd occasionally offer you his wrist 

Otherwise he'd prefer if you didn't unless it's necessary 

Why do I get this vibe? I couldn't tell you 

I don't even think he'd really want to be a vampire 

It's not that he doesn't wanna be one. He just doesn't think about it 

He could be tempted if you said his eyes would heal and he'd have his normal vision back but that could depend on the day 

His sight is already restored but pretending to be blind may get annoying. Who knows

I still don’t understand how his sight works now. I gotta rewatch a play through

Being a vampire has its main perk which is living forever but idk if he’d want that. I can see Kenshi being someone who is both afraid of death but also is comforted by all life having a solid ending

Maybe his thoughts will change

I really don't think he'd be too bothered by you being a vampire though. Just don't make a mess on his carpet 

I think you having the ability to defend yourself would weirdly comfort him 

Not having to watch over you and make sure you're ok all the time is something he'd appreciate 

You're literally eating the opponents. This seems like a great deal 

Kung Lao

I wanna start this off by saying Kung Lao is the type of petty bitch to get mad at you and hold garlic to keep you away 

And he'll be in such shock if you walk over and slap it out his hand

You'll just be staring at each other in silence 

Kung Lao probably tests all sort of vampire myths on you 

“Get out the house then try and come back in” “Why?” “You can't come in if I don't invite you, right?” “This is our house though” “I don't get your point”

Prays over water then throws it at you 

Idek if Kung Lao is religious so idk why he thought that would work 

“Can I stake you through the heart?” “I'm gonna throw you out the window”

Puts a mirror in front of your face to see if you have a reflection. He’s upset either way

If you do, he’s like “wow. Another lie”

If you don’t he’s wondering how you manage to look decent still

It honestly can become obnoxious and I think he'd have the tendency to act as if he knows more about vampires than you 

Because surely all the movies he watched had to be somewhat right 

If you’re like a Twilight vampire and sparkle, he’s never letting you live it down

You can’t control this but he would find it comical. Out of all the vampires you’re similar to Edward Cullen?

When it comes to drinking from him, uhhh I don't really get a certain vibe 

Idk if he'd be down or against it. Maybe it depends on the day 

On the topic of feeding, I don't think he'd like seeing you eat people 

He knows it happens but doesn't wanna see you chomping on someone. It makes his skin crawl 

Overall, is he kinda obnoxious? Yeah. But he could've tried to kill you so a win is a win ig

As a side note, idk if he'd be interested in becoming a vampire 

It’s a thing he gotta weigh. On one hand he’d be in his best shape for the rest of his life. On the other hand he doesn’t wanna deal with all the inconveniences

Raiden

He might be somewhat uncomfortable 

He doesn't think you'll harm him but he probably doesn't want you to eat others in front of him 

What evidence do I have for this? None. 

It's just what makes sense in my brain 

He asks a lot of questions though. A lot of them are cliche based but that's ok 

“So… Garlic?” “It smells funny but that's about it”

I could see him forgetting honestly. He won't be really involved when it comes to feeding. Like he won't help lure people or be around you when you're feeding from someone and since he doesn't see that, it just slips his mind 

Especially if you're one of those vampires that look normal until you're aggravated or feeding 

He's only reminded by almost killing you. He pulls the curtains back on a very sunny day and is like “oh shit” when you scream 

When it comes to feeding from him… no❤

Idk why but I just don't think he'd be down unless you were dying 

He doesn't like how it hurts and how dazed he feels after. Find someone else to do it 

And it’s kinda awkward. He’s just standing there as you’re sipping him like a juice box

Probably isn't really interested in becoming a vampire 

Him and Liu Kang are probably the least interested but for different reasons 

Raiden just doesn't particularly care about the whole living forever thing. Maybe that's because he's young so he's not worried about dying but that's just how he views it 

I think him and Kung Lao are the youngest in the group so they probably have the “I’m young so I’m not worried about anything!” mindset

Can he be killed still? Yeah. But so can vampires. It’s just harder. He’s at an age where he’s not thinking about old age

Plus the negative side effects push him away even further. I don't see him as the type to be totally ok with having to drink blood all the time and look out for hunters 

You can be a vampire and not hurt innocent people but it’s harder I would assume. And if he didn’t drink from humans he’d be hunting down animals and idk if he’d really like biting animals either

There’s blood bags but now he gotta be a thief? It’s a no for right now

Liu Kang

He knew 

I'm not saying Liu Kang watches every single person born intensely but he probably saw it 

Here's how it'd go;

A) He saw you be turned when he was watching humanity 

B) He picked up on the evidence 

C) You were a vampire in the previous timeline and either he didn't change it, or he knew there was a chance it'd happen again 

If the situation was like C, then he wouldn't really be weirded out by certain vampire things, like feeding

He'd be similar to Raiden in the sense that he's not the type to help lure people towards you 

Your food. Your responsibility 

As long as you're not feeding from totally innocent people, then I think he wouldn't have a problem 

If you were drinking from kids or a civilian that's super nice and helpful, then he'd have a problem 

He might suggest animals ngl 

Feeding from him? It's another situation where I don't know if he'd be for or against that 

He probably won't be as dazed as the others since he's a god and whatnot but who is tryna get bit all the time?

In the same breath though, I can see him offering his wrist if you were thirsty and there wasn't good prey around 

So maybe it depends on circumstances 

No if there’s plenty of options around. Yes if it’s a bit dry around

Like Kenshi, he's glad you have the power to defend yourself. Chaos, violence and smoke follows this man so you gotta be a fighter 

He doesn't know how he feels about you eating the competition but whatever 

And don't even bother offering to turn him. He's already a god. What more does he need?

It'd be way more negative for him. He has strength, powers and combat skills. Now he has the need for blood, has to avoid sunlight and whatever other bullshit vampires gotta deal with?

Hard pass 

He'll just watch and live through you 

[unicornbobatea]

So y'all know how @leslielumarie has a Corruption AU for her character Papaya, right?

Well, since Reese here is also doomed by the narrative, I thought it'd be pretty cool to do a darker Reese AU as well. This post was originally going to be dedicated to my old Nightmare Demon OC "Cinnabar", but all of the aspects that were associated with that OC went into making what I call "Crimson!Reese". Please enjoy the short story snippet below, which is followed by some design notes.

Luca sat quietly on the train, reflecting on recent events. How was it possible for someone to kill one of his family members? And not just any of his family, but Vance of all demons was the one to die. Who could've done such a thing? A man from across the bus looked at Luca and spoke up with a weak croak.

"Where are you headed, boy?" the old man croned.

"Amanita," Luca said quietly. No need to hide the fact that he was headed to a town in the middle of nowhere.

"If you're just going there to wander around, I suggest a different location," the man says. Luca only raises an eyebrow. "Folks over at that town ain't themselves nowadays. They drag their feet and hallucinate, talking about horrors too personal to share. Like they're dreaming while awake or somethin'," the old man rambles on. Luca slowly turned his gaze to look out the window. If what the old man was saying were true, then a Nightmare Demon could very well be in the sleepy old town of Amanita...

The sun's descent crossed with the moonrise as Luca got off the bus, ignoring the old man's warnings. Just as the old man had said, there were a few wandering people who were dreaming with their eyes wide open, something only a Nightmare Demon could force upon people. Luca walked forward, going deeper into the town as night fell upon the streets.

The moon took its position high in the sky, yet none of the street lamps would light.

Luca's ear twitched as a ferocious punch came from behind him, dodging out of the way and continuing to evade as more punches came his way. Luca threw his palms forward, catching his attacker's fists in his hands before grabbing the assailant's wrists and throwing him far away towards a wall.

Whoever tried to hit him, his facd was covered by a mask, with only his glowing yellow eyes showing. He wore no shirt, but covered his torso in a heavy, teal denim jacket with beige fur. His black jeans were ripped at the knees, and his black canvas slip-ons were heavily scuffed.

"Long time, no see," the attacker smiled, unmasking himself.

"No... it can't be..." Luca whispered to himself. He knew that voice, and he knew that face, but he didn't know the Nightmare Demon standing before him. Reese would never attack him, and Reese would never destroy a town like this.

Reese launched another onslaught of attacks at Luca, firing streams of Nightmare Gas that Luca deflected with his own blasts of Nightmare Gas. Reese wasn't even close to Luca's skill level, but he was still giving Luca a hard time.

"Seems like this old thing's weighing me down..." Reese snarled, taking off his jacket. He came at Luca again, but much faster this time, forcing Luca to take him seriously, to the point where Luca would admit that Reese was keeping him on his toes. At some point, Luca saw Reese's back, which shocked him. He never thought he'd see Reese develop a gash, much less one that was blood-red.

"You know, when I killed Vance, I thought it was too easy. Thankfully you're as much of a fun challenge as I'd hoped!" Reese laughed, meeting Luca blow-for-blow. Luca couldn't dwell on the fact that his cousin's death was at Reese's hand, and focused on finishing the fight.

Eventually, after an hour or so of fighting, Reese slipped up, giving Luca an opening to grab his head and slam him into the ground.

"Reese! This stops now!!" Luca yelled into the night. He was met only with wild, pained, echoing laughter.

"YOU'LL HAVE TO KILL ME FIRST, LUCA!!" Reese yelled back.

Reese went insane after losing both Papaya and Enoch. After Luca cuts contact with him, Reese sees it as "abandonment", leading him to go insane.

Reese has a block of pale highlights in his hair. Unlike Corruption!Papaya, who (I would assume) got streaks in honour of and due to his attachment to Luca, Crimson!Reese's highlights are a form of mockery.

Reese's gash is in the shape of a heart, and is located on his back in the middle of his trapezius. This is something that was taken from my discarded NMD OC, Cinnabar.

LeslieLu Marie mentions that Luca's purple gashes are a property of his bloodline. Most NMDs have blue gashes. No official mention of red (yet), but I'll bet that Reese's red gash probably breaks existing NMD lore. On my part, I used red because 1.) Hearts are typically depicted as red and 2.) Red for Rage bro, Reese in this AU has unending rage.

Reese's jacket used to be Enoch's. Where did it come from? Well, "we do a little grave robbing. As a treat".

Reese has much more visible musculature after going insane.

Reese killed Vance as vengeance for Vance killing Papaya.

Reese still has a happy-go-lucky personality, but it's only a front, and he takes an unseemly pleasure in murdering both human and NMD alike. You know Flowey from Undertale? Yeah, that.

Reese's goal is to either kill Luca or die by his hand since there's nothing else to live for, at least in his mind.

In order to kill Vance (and possibly Luca), Reese becomes a capable fighter and enhances his strength and his speed to the point that he can dodge an arrow aimed directly at his head. This is another aspect taken from Cinnabar.

I really like what I've come up with! I always liked Reese as a character, and I really liked Corruption!Papaya. I knew I wanted to do a similar AU for Reese at some point, and here it is!

Papaya in this AU is probably rolling in his grave huh?

[amberjazmyn]

the new normal 🫶🥹 (part two of take me back [to the night we met])

pairing : lando norris x fem!reader

summary : lando's new normal after the loss of his old girlfriend as he now goes through the rest of his life with his new girlfriend, helena, the sister of juliannah, lando's former girlfriend.

warnings : sad lando, falling in love again, mentions of loss and grief

a/n :  because i wrote a part two for my misha version, of course i had to do the same thing for my lando version! i still am thinking about creating a whole tmb (ttnwm) universe but i don't know if i want to do it for misha collins or lando norris. i am considering highly for lando but because i originally did it for misha idk if i want to do it for him. and whether it's here on wattpad or tumblr or both, i am still unsure but i will let y'all know when it happens. 

previously

helena stared at the photo of me and juliannah for a little while longer as she smiled. i could tell she felt as though she could visualise the memory of the moment of this photo being taken in the same way i could. even though she wasn't there when the photo was taken and, i could tell it was making helena emotional.

"...i'm really glad that you and juliannah were together for as long as you were, lando..." helena trailed off as she placed the polaroid back into the photo album that was now resting openly on my bookshelf as i smiled

"...i'm glad too, helena. i really did love your sister and i know she really loved me too but, don't let that stop you from allowing yourself to believe that i can't love you just because i loved your sister. because, quite frankly, the way i loved juliannah will always be different to the way i love you but that doesn't make me love you any less. if anything, it makes me love you more but in a different, more beautiful way that's only unique to you. if you're worried that i'll be stuck with the memory of juliannah then, let this be the consolation to that thought..." i trailed off as i grabbed helena's hand and pushed it gently towards my face and kissed her

she was at first shocked, of course, but quickly broke out of the shock as she then moved into the kiss and became more comfortable. we then ended up falling backwards onto my bed with helena falling on top of me which made us giggle as we just made out with each other, our clothes still on and nothing else sexual. we were still finding our footing in this relationship since it was so new but, it was already so comfortable that i don't think it'd take us that long to get to the nitty gritty of an established relationship.

i had all and then most of you, some and now none of you. take me back to the night we met. i don't know what i'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you. take me back to the night we met.

present | lando's pov

it was now almost a year later since that day that helena and i kissed one another and we're now exclusively together as a couple and i have returned full-time back to formula 1 and mclaren. it's the new normal for the both of us since the death of juliannah and honestly, it's not been as awful as either of us expected it or thought it would have been. of course, helena and i still experience horrific and agonizing grief over juliannah but it isn't that bad that it destroys our relationship and causes constant arguments. right now, it's off-season for racing and it was now coming up to our first christmas without juliannah and honestly, this had been my biggest fear the entire year. everyone that's been through grief has always said that all the "firsts" without your lost loved one is always the worst. and, it was clear that helena recognised that and has tried her hardest to make this year's christmas special even though it'll still be difficult because of the loss of juliannah. and it's been so sweet seeing all the things that helena has done for me during this difficult time ever since halloween finished and holiday season started to roll around. especially because my grief returned again, enveloping me as though i was their old friend from back in the day.

so, for these last two months, since the first of november, helena has done everything possible to ease the agony and pain. and, i can't lie, she's done a wonderful job and i don't think i could ever love helena more than i've ever loved anyone. and that includes juliannah. even though i absolutely adored juliannah, i think it's started to become obvious that whilst i did and do still love her, it was most likely that helena has always been my romantic soulmate, not juliannah. and i think it's also something that juliannah knew and that helena knew as well but it's just devastating that it took juliannah's untimely and tragic death for us all to figure it out.

the longer i thought about juliannah, the more emotional and upset i became and i hated it. everytime i did get upset about juliannah, the more guilty i felt because i knew it made helena feel insecure that i don't love her as much as i do juliannah. and it's wrong because honestly, i'm finding love for helena and myself that i've never known before that i never experienced nor had with juliannah.

"...babe, you know i love you, right?" i muttered, my arms draping over helena's as she makes us dinner as she giggles

"yeah, i know you love me. what's started this up my darling? this doesn't just come out of nowhere..." helena turns around, the mashed potato ignored for now as i tried to seem as relaxed as possible

"...ahh, no reason, i just wanted to let you know since i feel like i just haven't told you enough lately..." i trailed off as helena sighed, her hands grabbing mine and holding them tightly, knowing i was such a shitty liar

"...one, lando, my love, you've told me plenty of times recently how much you love me and two, what's actually going on and i want the truth because in case you've forgotten mr norris, you may be an excellent formula 1 driver but you are the shittiest liar i've ever known in my entire life *giggles*. so, what's bothering you?" helena sighed as she giggles as i can't help but smile as i heavily sigh

"just...i feel guilty for all the times i've gotten upset over your sister because i feel as though it makes you insecure and that i loved juliannah more than i love you..."i trailed off as helena gave me a look i didn't know how to describe but it wasn't a look i was seeing for the first time either

"...darling boy, please don't feel guilty for missing juliannah. i miss her all the time, every single day. i mean, it's a good thing since she's my sister *giggles* but, it's crazy that you think it makes me feel insecure when i see and hear you get upset over missing juliannah. because it doesn't at all. i'm actually glad that you still miss juliannah and that you haven't forgotten about her but that it's not the foundation of our relationship otherwise that's not healthy. i'm glad that you have it in you to love me in ways similar to that of my sister and it's an honour to be loved by you, mr lando norris. i always looked up to you and juliannah's relationship, always wishing to be loved like that and now, i am being loved but not in the same way i saw you loving my sister and honestly, i don't hate it like i thought i would have *giggles*. i love how different you love me, it's so unique and it's nothing like the way you loved my sister. i've noticed that you've found love for not just me but for yourself that you've never known before that you never experienced nor had with juliannah and that is incredible, lando. the fact that you can lose the woman who you thought was your soulmate and who you'd love forever only to fall in love again. not just fall in love but fall in love with your dead lover's sister yet love her in a completely new and unseen ways before..." helena reminded me as i nodded my head as she squeezed my hands as i squeezed them back as i smiled a little

"...i know it's just..."

"...no, lando. you are not going to try and make yourself out to be the villian that doesn't need to be villainous in the first place. you just fell in love again and that's completely fine and you shouldn't have to crucify yourself for that every single day. juliannah's death was already a burden that was placed on your shoulders and it's a burden that should have never of happened in the first place. so don't you dare make yourself out to be the villian in this story because if you are anything in anyone's story but especially mine, you're the hero." helena was persistent to the point where i couldn't question her anymore and i just nodded my head

"i love you," i mumbled as i rested my head on helena's shoulder as she smiles

"i love you too, baby!" helena whispered as she held me tightly, kissing my temple before returning back to the mashed potatoes for dinner

thankfully after that conversation, lando's insceurities kind of washed away and didn't bother the couple for the rest of the night. and it felt as though lando could finally breathe properly for the first time in forever. he truly loved helena more than he could ever explain and now knowing that helena knew that and didn't doubt it, he knew he made the right decision buying that ring.

christmas day

waking up, lando couldn't hide the smile on his face. it was the twenty fifth of december. christmas day and he couldn't wait to give the love of his life the best christmas present ever in the entire world. watching as his girlfriend was smiling in her sleep made lando go all soft and squishy. he loved watching her sleep. whilst it sounded creepy, lando and helena both loved it. whoever would wake up first in the morning would watch as the other one stayed asleep and it would make them fall in love with the other even more. however, today, it was lando that had woken up early, as previously mentioned, so he watched as helena smiled and softly snored as she stayed sleeping, on her side facing the middle point of the bed, lando laying on his side and facing her.

helena only stayed asleep for a couple of minutes before she started to stir herself awake in the way that lando always said he found most adorable. helena always grimaced when lando said that but she couldn't help the smile that formed on her face at the same time. fluttering open, her eyes slowly adjusted to the light as she smiled seeing the one face she always loved seeing every day.

"...hi baby," lando smiled softly as his hand rested on his girlfriend's cheek

"hi back," helena giggled, her voice filled with sleep as she levelled herself by balancing her elbow on her pillow so she was level with lando

"it's christmas day baby, our very first christmas together as a couple!" lando spoke softly, removing his hand from helena's cheek to play with her messy bed hair as helena smiled

"i know. but...it's also the first christmas without her..." helena sighed, only remembering now that it was her first ever christmas without her sister by her side

lando bit his lip and nodded his head. of course, this wasn't how they wanted to start their first christmas as a couple, especially this early but, he couldn't forget that juliannah was helena's sister. and that he wasn't the only one grieving his former girlfriend.

"...i know baby but, that doesn't mean today has to be sad..." lando trailed off, hoping he didn't say anything offensive as helena smiled

"...it won't be, babe. i was just merely saying that for you. i know you still struggle with juliannah's death more than i do and i was her sister. i just wanna make sure you are okay my love. christmas and the holidays in general are so difficult for those who are grieving and i just wanna make sure you're taken care of and not struggling," helena spoke softly as she brushed her fingers through lando's hair as he smiled, his eyes clouded with tears of thanks

"thank you, darling. i appreciate you so much, you know that right?" lando whispered as his emotions got the better of him as helena smiled

"i do know that. you never go a minute without telling me. c'mon, it's christmas, we can't be sad! we have things to do and our families to see!" helena smiled, removing the quilts as she hopped out of bed, lando smiling and shaking his head as he followed

they got dressed in their outfits they had meticulously planned days in advance. lando in a white button down and green chinos that just made him look oh so attractive as he left the first two unbuttoned whilst helena was wearing a lovely floor-length green velvet dress with white heels so they were matching.

since they were visiting helena's family first for brunch and then lando's family for dinner, they decided to chuck all the presents in their car so they didn't have to worry about whether or not they'd remembered all the presents or not. each family member, on both sides, got four gifts each which meant a lot of money was spent by lando and helena for their families but they didn't mind. they'd happily go bankrupt if it meant their families had everything they ever wanted in the world. they both knew both families were still struggling with the loss of juliannah and they couldn't blame them. lando's family because their son and brother was dating her and helena's family because not only was one of their daughter's dating lando but now the second daughter was. not that they hated the fact that helena and lando were dating. they were the happiest in the world to know that helena and lando fell in love with each other. they were happy knowing that juliannah had given specific, written permission that if anything were to happen to her before lando ever had the chance to propose to her, that he had permission to fall in love with helena. but, her rules were, as she laid on her death bed, that lando and helena were allowed to fall in love with each other but only if the foundation wasn't from their trauma bond of the loss of juliannah. and if it was then, it wasn't okay for them to be with each other.

however, everyone, including those who were watching the relationship flourish during formula 1 races, started to realise the profound bond that they had with one another and it made them completely forget about the fact that lando used to date juliannah. it seemed as though helena was lando's true soulmate, not juliannah. so, because of that, no one batted an eyelid at the two of them being in a relationship together because it was clear there was no trauma bond in their relationship but a soul connection that was never there before.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

after brunch with helena's family, the couple said their goodbyes, thanking them for the wonderful time and left for lando's' family house. thankfully both families lived in bristol still so there was no cross country trips this christmas. driving to his childhood home had never caused lando this much stress. the velvet box now felt heavy in his pocket and it seemed as though helena realised that something was stressing her boyfriend out.

"...babe, are you okay?" helena questioned, turning the volume nob on the radio down ever so slightly

"yeah...yeah, i'm fine babe! just forgot how stressful the drive back to my childhood home can be sometimes," lando giggled, of course it was well known how shitty of a liar he was but this time, helena didn't question it

"as long as you're okay babe, that's all i care about. i love you," helena smiled as she ruffled his hair as lando chuckled as he turned the music back up as helena shook her head as she giggled

"i love you too babe," lando smiled as he continued driving, the bryan adams song blaring loudly

the couple finally arrived at the norris household and it seemed as though it was only getting closer and closer to the time that lando was going to propose. sure, it seemed way too early to propose especially since it's only been a year, nearly two, since juliannah's death, he knew he loved helena and wanted to marry her. he didn't want to wait any longer for helena just in case he lost her in the same way he lost juliannah. he didn't want that to ever happen again so, his thought was if he proposes to her and then marries her quickly, he'd feel better if anything bad to either of them was to happen. because, people had to realise that this was lando's new normal and it was helena's new normal since the loss of their ex-girlfriend and sister. and it was time to accept the fact that lando couldn't act miserable for the rest of his life and never fall in love again.

walking into the house of her boyfriend's, helena spoke up, "...merry christmas cisca and adam!" she smiled, pulling her boyfriend's parents in for an embrace

"merry christmas helena! thank you again for making the drive from your folks' place!" cisca smiled as she finally let go of the girl so lando's siblings could tackle the girl into one of their group hugs

cisca then hugs her son as does adam as helena continues their conversation, "oh, of course cisca. we couldn't have missed christmas dinner with you guys! besides, i don't think i could stand being with my family for the whole day. especially when a distant cousin is still flabbergasted by the fact lando is able to and allowed to fall in love again but most importantly with his former girlfriend's sister!" helena sighed, pulling out of the norris siblings hug as cisca's face hardened and her eyes widened

"that distant cousin is still invited to these things?!" cisca was flabbergasted as helena chuckled as did lando as he hugged his siblings

"unfortunately he is. besides, he was that one cousin that always had a weird obsession with juliannah so, yeah, i don't know why mum and dad still allow that man in our house every holiday..." helena trails off as she shudders as does cisca and adam

"...that's disgusting! are you sure your parents aren't also kind of, enabling him, by allowing him to keep on coming to these events?" adam speaks up this time, his arms crossed over with a christmas hat on his head as helena sighs

"oh, they are for sure enabling him and it's disgusting but, what more can we do i guess?" helena sighs as she shakes her head

"i'm guessing they blame the grief of juliannah as the excuse for this particular cousin?" adam groans as he still has his arms crossed over

"most of the family has that as their excuse as a reason for majority of their behaviour and honestly, it's pissing me off. cause, both me and lando also lost juliannah but we're not breaking rules or being inappropriate!" helena sighed as did adam and cisca as lando just stayed silent, not knowing if he should speak up just yet

it was unbelievable what people in helena's family got away with but especially now that they had the "excuse" of the death of juliannah and their grief to lean on, they were for sure milking it for more than it was worth. however, the family decided just to start the christmas celebrations with the presents and festivities cause there was no longer any point in dwelling on the things that helena's family do.

however, it was during the giving out of the presents that, things took a turn but, not so much for the worst...

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

...helena sighed happily, all of the christmas presents had been handed out and she flopped back to the couch, where she thought lando was waiting for her. however, he wasn't and she just flopped straight onto the couch below her, not onto the cushyness of her boyfriend. confused, she grunted and pushed herself off the couch, only to find her boyfriend on his hands and knees grabbing something from underneath the christmas tree.

"...lando, babe, what are you doing? all the presents have been given out!" helena chuckled as she rubbed the sore spot on her back where she fell onto the couch

the families watched on, knowing exactly what was going on, their faces looking like creepy clowns, their mouths open so wide from happiness and excitement. helena however, was completely confused, thinking that everyone had been given their presents and that it was hopefully time to go back to their own house to see if they could spend the last few hours of christmas day alone.

however, it seemed as though misha had one last trick up his sleeve and, he produced it. getting off the floor, he walked over to helena. it seemed as though helena realised what was happening as she didn't even wait for lando to open the velvet box let alone go down to his knee and formally ask her...

"...yes!" helena responded hastily which caused giggles which then ultimately caused helena to freak out, thinking that lando wasn't actually proposing to her like she thought he was

lando giggled as he lowered himself down to his knee, opening the velvet box and decided that even though helena had already said yes, he was still going to say his prepared speech anyway. helena was no longer worried about lando actually not proposing to her. not that she expected it to happen on christmas eve but, alas, it was happening and she didn't stop it because she didn't want to stop it.

"helena, i thought i'd never be able to find love again, let alone so soon but, i think i was always destined to find love again and i did. i found it again with you and i'm so head over heels in love with you that i've never been so sure about anything in my life more than i have been sure about this. helena, will you marry me?" lando announced as helena smiled wide, nodding her head as she went down to her knees, kissing lando as they then helped each other back up

lando then placed the gorgeous vintage engagement ring on helena's left ring finger as the in-laws rushed over to embrace the newly engaged couple. after all the hugs and kisses, lando and helena finally got a moment to themselves where they just got to decompress and be with one another.

"...i love you so much, lando!" helena whispered, resting her forehead on her fiancé's as lando smiled

"i love you more, helena!" lando smiled, resting his head on helena's as they smiled at one another, pulling away

lando had never felt happier on any day for the entire year until this day. christmas day, the day he proposed to the love of his life, his soulmate. but, helena still asked him how he was.

"you okay, babe?" helena whispers as misha nods his head

"more than okay, i'm perfect actually," he whispers with a huge smile on his face as helena reciprocates

"same," she smiles as the engaged couple kisses

fin

ok this was fun and all peace

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2024

[yourladystar]

Star's Engage Catalogue Day 34 (part 5)

I feel that it's only right to showcase the final team that will be joining me.

And I have to split it into 2 posts because Tumblr has a 10-picture limit.

Don't really think I have to explain why Alear has been a strong fighter. You see those stats and you see why I had Marth stick with him, those two are a perfect fit.

But I wanna talk about how shocked I am by Alear's character. He's genuinely up there with Corrin and Shez as one of the best avatars this series has done. His story is engaging, he's a joy to watch in anything he does or says, his voice acting is immaculate, he's so God flippin adorable! I'll definitely talk more about him another time, but he managed to become one of my favorite characters in all of Fire Emblem, something I never expected to happen playing this game!

Again, don't think I need to explain why a dancer is good. And while Corrin worked with him for a while, Byleth is a better option, especially with the stats he gives.

And Seadall surprised me with his character. His alluring nature and way of speaking, his wisdom and experience from his past, the struggles he deals with from his lifestyle, and the way he can inspire others even when he doesn't believe in himself. I don't know how some of y'all can say he's boring, this sh*t is lovely.

Also he's pretty as hell, but I think you can see that.

Rosado has been a reliable fighter who can just about any enemy I have him face. Good stats, weapon variety and flyer mobility make him extremely versatile. Leif has been the best fit for him, since his stat boosts and skills work best for how Rosado functions in battle.

His character is also wonderful. A perfect evolution of Forrest and wonderful rep for trans, genderfluid, crossdresser's, and gender questioning people in a time where they really need positive representation. Plus he's spunky and sassy while also being caring and supportive.

Amber is a weirdly good example of hard-hitting but fragile. His low speed and res make him susceptible to one-hit kills, but the enemy can't do that if he doesn't kill them in one hit first. Eirika also works weirdly well for him, as the twins' skills suit whatever I need him to do that turn.

But I can overlook all of that for his character. I love this doof! He's so dumb and goofy but filled with so much positivity and cheerfulness it's hard not to smile at his antics. Even when he royally f*cks something up, you can't help but smile and go, "Youre doing amazing, sweetie."

Alcryst might just be the strongest member of my team and Lyn really helped to bring out his true potential. Her skills perfectly suit his play style and ensure that any he fights will not survive, whether it'd be death by crit, death by Luna, or Alacrity stopping the opponent from even fighting back. And with me giving him avoidance skill, literally nothing can even touch him. It's honestly ridiculous how busted this unit is.

And don't get me started on how much I love this little skrunkly! He stole my love the second his first scene ended and it only got better with each scene he got. I just wanted this boy to have love and happiness and seeing him get that from everyone in his life- his brother, his retainers, his friends, his boyfriend- they all just make me smile.

Alfred has a rocky middle, but he really picked up. Once I started utilizing the resources I got and realized that he got swords after being promoted, Alfred really came into his own and started being a powerhouse. Sigurd has been his Emblem since the start. No one else can really utilize his movement the same way Alfred does.

Alfred also shocked me with his character. I already liked him enough for the goofy and entertaining meathead he was, but the second I unlocked his A-support with Céline, everything I perceived about him changed! He went from being just a fun and silly presence to one of the most tragic yet hopeful characters in this. Someone who, even knowing they have little time left, refuses to give up and continues to strive forward to protect everything and everyone he cares. Someone who doesn't ask for your pity and will always be put you first.

I couldn't have picked a better person to give the Pact Ring to.

Alflear for life, baby!

Zelkov is a unit that started off good and continued to be good throughout the entire game. I've never been in a position where it felt like bringing him along was an inconvenience, even when there was no chest for him to unlock. Hell, for the longest time, he didn't even need an Emblem to assist him, but when I did decide to give him one, the Three Houses lords for him like a glove.

And God, I love listening to him talk! I had no idea what to expect out of him during the lead-up to Engage, but I am so happy with what I got. An enigmatic and mysterious yet sweet, caring, and helpful man who seems like an autistic coded goat on the surface but is just using his many hobbies to avoid dealing with the trauma of his childhood- that is right up my alley!

I'll do the second half in the next post.

[mbbsgf]

HUGE TRIGGER WARNING AHEAD !!

mentions of murder, child abuse, p€dophilia, r@pe, cannibalism, drugs and sexual assault, necrophilia. (let me know if there's more)

————————————————————————————

i warned you at the top of this post, don't read if any of the mentioned topics trigger you.

————————————————————————————

i've been studying true crime for as long as i can remember but i've never been that shocked until now. until i heard about the daisy's destruction case. peter scully is a 61 old man (he currently is in jail) who have done the most gut wrenching, horrifying things i've read. he didn't act alone but he was the "brain" of these crimes. he and his two "girlfriends" kidnapped children promising their parents health and a great situation or whatever but that's clearly not what happened. now the story behind daisy's destruction is fucking insane and horrifying so it's not too late to quit, i don't wanna be in charge of any tears or anything take care of yourselves. one of the girls kidnapped three children. liza, cindy and daisy (i believe this is their names, i apologize if not). i haven't seen the video daisy's destruction since we can't find it on this side of the internet, only on the dark web and for obvious reasons i will not go on the dark web. especially not to see this horror. peter basically r@ped those little girls. to clarify, liza was 11, cindy was 10 and daisy was 18 months old. peter had cindy digging her own grave before strangling her to death. liza and daisy are still alive but they obviously are traumatized and it was confirmed that daisy is unable to have children due to severe injuries around her vagina. i wish them the best and i hope cindy is resting in peace after the hell she went through.

jeffrey dahmer. dear lord, where do i even start? jeffrey would hang in gay bars around the 80s due to his sexuality if i'm correct (correct me if not). i've been studying jeffrey's case for longer so i mostly know what i'm talking about unlike peter's case but i'm not perfect so i might make mistakes so don't hesitate to correct me. jeffrey has always been "fascinated" by death and everything that revolves around it. he would dissect dead animals with his father as a hobby. growing up, jeffrey will realize it's more than just a "scientific" fascination. it sexually attracted him. he would start off by drugging his victim's drink so it'd be "easier" to get them home (please stay safe you guys, psychos are everywhere, always hold your drinks wherever you go). his victims were all males in their 20s or so except for one who was 14. jeffrey was grown when he killed that 14 year old boy. i've personally seen pictures of jeffrey's appartement after he got arrested and those picture made me so uncomfortable. i've also seen jeffrey's polaroids and i don't even wanna comment on it. what kills me is that those photos are so easy to find like that just disgusts me and it made me so uncomfortable.

now, why did i tell y'all all that, hm? there's obviously a reason and you're right. there is. it might sound dumb or like i'm overreacting but i promise i'm not. i've seen MULTIPLE facebook pages, tiktok edits and instagram accounts glorifying and idolizing those monsters. mostly jeffrey because peter's case isn't really known but i have seen "fan" accounts of them both. it's sickening. y'all realize they took the life of innocent, beautiful people. OF KIDS. like. even if peter didn't kill liza and daisy, he still took their life away from them. jeffrey murdered, ate and drugged people. peter raped, murdered and tortured little girls and you have nothing better to do than to create a fucking fan account to support them? you're sick. honestly, fucking disgusting. you think peter or jeffrey would show mercy to you if you were in front of them? you think they'd be like "oh you're my fan, all good!" NO, THEY WOULDN'T. they are murderers and you are glorifying their actions. honestly, you're as sick as peter and jeffrey if you think their actions are okay. i'm sick to my stomach just thinking about the edits i saw of jeffrey with a cute ass stupid caption saying "i could fix him" or "he wouldn't hurt anyone" well shame on you. he did and he admitted to it. the families of the victims maybe have facebook, tiktok or instagram. how do you think they'd feel if they saw their son's/daughter's, cousin's, little brother's/sister's, nephew's/niece's murderer being loved, supported and idolized? you guys are sick. you need to get off your phone and go touch some grass seriously.

that's all i wanted to say, goodnight.

[whalleyrulz]

halloween 2023

26) HOUSE/HAUSU

first up i am sorry i forgot to write this up yesterday! oh no! let's talk two movies again!

there's some of you who are looking at this saying "there's no way she just watched hausu for the first time on the 24th of october, 2023." and to them i say, i also, when watching the movie, was shocked that it was my first time, because it is exactly the type of movie you'd think, and i also thought, i'd have seen many times before

y'all

hausu's a 1977 japanese movie about a group of teenagers who go for summer vacation to a house in the boonies. then, what happens next is, the house eats them.

y'all

this movie is unbelievable. it swings for, and hits, every single note it aims for. it is a perfect example of what it means to Be On Your Bullshit. it is, without a doubt, one of the movies of all time

damn near every death has something so iconic in them that over the last 20 years since 1977, don't correct me it sickens me, cinema has yet to achieve what's done here. there's floating heads biting asses. there's dancing skeletons. there's a gorgeous cannibal witch who mugs at the camera. there's an assault of mattresses.

this is unlike every movie. you know the idea of outsider art? this feels like that. this feels like someone read a bunch of manga, then said "i bet if someone ever invented the way to put this in motion, it'd look like this. i shan't research to see if these motion pictures exist."

it's incredible!

27) HELLRAISER

i really want to say there's something wrong with modern cinema, in that everyone is beautiful, and nobody is horny, and this movie fights both trends and as a result is the best, but that's not quite it is it? because movies never did horny like hellraiser before. and never have since. the kind of horny this movie does warms my heart

and no, i'm not talking about the kink. the kink is obviously a big part of the movie, but that's not what i'm talking about

and i'm not talking about the queer subtext either, because being queer is not synonymous with being horny, and this subtext isn't what i'm talking about

i'm talking about the dinner party, where steve does a cool cigarette trick, and kirsty has the thirstiest response. i'm talking about her drunken stumble (some of the best drunk acting in all cinema) where you can see she eggs herself on. i'm talking how when kirsty and steve hook up, they don't even share a bed, but there's a level of intimacy that is so fucking wholesome and cute about him sleeping on the floor. wholesome horny

and i'm talking about julia's awkwardness with men, with all men. i'm talking about how she falls for frank, not because he's nice to her, or because he's interestingly mean, but because for once in her life, she's desired by someone. and when she starts bringing other men home, they don't have this burning need to have her, like frank, they're just there, and she's disappointed in them like she is larry; they aren't horny. they're just sad. and she knows horny. needy horny

and hell. i'm talking about the inexplicable bone dragon man eating fistfuls of crickets making direct eye contact with kirsty. he wants those crickets as bad as he wants to be seen as nasty. nasty horny

it's all desire. this movie fuckin' gets desire, y'all. like, it's not just about a horror. it's about desire. and when the horrible things happen, because of how laced with desire the movie is, and because of how phenomenal the effects are when frank is reborn, you too share a desire for the dark and perverse to happen, because at its heart, hellraiser wants you to want. deeply. truly.

it's my favorite movie, i swear. it has such sights to show you

1. skinamarink | 2. smile | 3. the black phone | 4. talk to me | 5. m3gan | 6. significant other | 7. cobweb | 8. horror in the high desert | 9. the pope's exorcist | 10. knock at the cabin | 11. infinity pool | 12. becky | 13. no one will save you | 14. huesera: the bone woman | 15. scream vi | 16. idle hands | 17. a wounded fawn | 18. v/h/s 85 | 19. evil dead rise | 20. mama | 21. look away | 22. some bad shorts and then the oldest view | 23. final destination | 24. beau is afraid | 25. phenomena

[forumsdackel]

Just-- I have more reasons to why. Spoilers y'all! Adding some more thoughts to your reasons:

Not only that, but Ilsa trusts Ethan! She knows it's him immediatly, she trusts him!! She gives him the key, she rolls with the whole 'youre dead' scheme!

3. The team can't trust Grace, but they need them! She betrayed them way too often and almost left Ethan to die. Of course they have to *somehow* get her to comply, so... why not fake Ilsa's death so she feels guilty? So yeah I'm totally with you on that one!

4. Exact wording of Grace and Luther is

Grace: I'm the reason she's dead. Luther: No. She's the reason you're alive. And that's the truth. The whole movie is about truths and lies. The intro with the submarine, the explanation of the entity both by the CIA guys and Benji in the airport and we have Gabriel talking to Grace about how she's stepping into a world full of lies and she can't believe anything anyone says right before Ilsa's death! Not only that but Grace feels guilty. She wants 'anything she could do to help' and Luther's immediately like 'Thats what we want to talk to you about'. Without hesitation. And he explains their plan. THEY KNOW!! They finish each others sentences while explaining, they know EXACTLY how to get Grace to impersonate the White Widow and it's going SO WELL it had to be planned beforehand! 5. We don't see a single drop of blood with Ilsa, but that guy that got his throat slashed? A lot of blood. immediately. 6. 'Someone dies tonight', Gabriel said. We see Grace who is confused and angsty but ilsa looks down and then looks up at Ethan and SMILES, SHE KNOWS Also... Ethan doesn't seem to give a shit about Gabriels whole 'yeah someones gonna die'-talk and talks about the entity (and him) being afraid instead. 7. The Entity also talks to Ilsa. 'You can never get there in time. But you can, Ilsa', it said. She knew it'd be her death if she listened to the Entity. 8. He didn't look that sad or shocked. At first, yes, but it doesn't take long for him to look more like a 'Yep, mission accompolished' as Grace comes over to look at them and what happened and after that. 11. Exactly!! Everything goes to plan for the Entity *until* that point. Paris is not dead yet, Gabriel doesn't have the key. They are capable of winning, they are capable of deceiving the Entity and Gabriel. Ilsa's death had to happen so that they could get the key and to end where they are!

And more reasons I thought of: 1. Paris is still alive. Gabriel was certain she was dead, but there wasn't any blood as well. A lot of parallels to Ilsa's death if you ask me. (Or Gabriel is just really shitty at stabbing people, even if he does that like three times throughout the movie) 2. What the heck happened to Ilsa's body? Was there even one? Who the heck knows? I mean they couldnt just leave her body there, could they? I doubt that. 3. Ethan, Luther and Benji aren't just a team. They know what they're doing and what they should do. E.g. the airport scene where Ethan already knows what they're gonna do and Benji and Luther immediatly come to the same conclusions! Luther *knows* about the entity, he talks to Ethan about it. 'if you wanna beat this thing, you have to start thinking like it, cold logical unemotional', he says... so that's what they do! They're giving the Entity and Gabriel what they want/think that's gonna happen. 4. Talking about that scene.. Luther's like: 'none of our lives can matter more than this mission' Ethan turns around, looks at Ilsa and says: 'I don't accept that' He knows. He doesn't want Ilsa to die, but maybe this fake death is better for them all. Another person less to worry about that there might happen something to them. The Entity and Gabriel believe it's going to happen, so it'd be a heck of a twist if that's not the case. Another person they can trust, they can work with without having any worries.

According to me, the reasons we have been deceived by Chris McQuarrie in Mission Impossible, Dead Reackoning Part. 1. WARNING SPOILERS!

[shisica]

rewatching pmmm...

6 eps in!

damn this is good. half of me is like damn when i first watched this i didn't appreciate it. the other half is like well it's been a decade perhaps the impression has just faded.

perhaps that's why it does feel fresh still? i remember the main story beats and moments but i wasn't SO into it at the time that i remember all the details.

i like watching knowing the full story bc it makes the foreshadowing and blatant kyubey evil shenanigans so extra scream and rage inducing.

horrible piss creature really takes ANY opportunity (and probably made a lot of them tbh) to go hey madoka 😇 it'd be the PERFECT TIME TO TURN NOW...

but then i'm also like... whenever i rewatch something it's experiencing media in easy mode. i already know the main story so the work has been done, i'm just noticing the smaller stuff now. not that watching media should feel like work - i think i just tend towards rewatching media when watching something new seems kind of daunting.

mami's death was so fucking awful??? she just wanted to happy and not be alone, even though being a magical girl gave her life again she had nobody besides the piss creature. the shock in her expression when it happens. AWFUL.

SHE JUST WANTED SOME FRIENDS...

kyoko might be the fave honestly??? i love a bristly spiky exterior girl where u kno that armour is up for a reason but don't know why yet. i can't wait to see the conclusion of her and sayaka's arc i don't remember it well

i really like sayaka as well. i do find the bluster of her kind of character archetype a bit grating but it works here because it's in contrast with the tragedy they're living in. and she's that combination of very strong minded AND will fight you about it which makes the conflict feel so inevitable and hard to get out of.

the tragedy really is so good because it just. i don't know. feels fully inevitable. madoka is too pure hearted. too kind. there's no way for homura to save her because she'll make the sacrifice when given the choice and when she has to. even after knowing the horrors she will do it.

perhaps this is also being older - it is extra depressing that these kids are like yes this is my lot in life, i can sacrifice it all to keep my loved ones and town safe. y'all should not have to deal with this, just learn your algebra and be a teen!!! tbh this also just Is The Genre and media geared towards children is gonna have child heroes for them to relate to etc. but pmmm isn't that audience so the horror is built into the premise with intention so it makes it all the more wonderfully awful. yay!

i wonder if i'll watch the movies... i don't know. i watched one of them during college but don't even remember what happened besides Gay. i just don't like watching movies for what I first experienced as TV episode style stories. i want things to either be episodic or be a standalone movie.

ALSO i was totally tricked by the first ed that was used for the first two eps. i was like huh i don't remember this ed! that's weird, i usually remember both the op and ed bc i don't skip them. THEN IT CHANGES AFTER MAMI DIES FFDJDJD--

ALSO ALSO the fact that mami is presented to madoka and sayaka as this older sister mentor figure (she lives alone! has tea sets and tasty dessert! so knowledgable about magical girl stuff that she can take them along) but she is just ONE YEAR OLDER, she may be a "senior magical girl" but she's just as young as they are!!! also deserving of a normal ass teenage life!!! but then w/o the piss creature she would be dead. So

[princeresnikov]

it's in my nature {Tangerine} // 6

six. tangerine: refusing to be fooled twice.

Summary: Tangerine decides to deal with the murder of his terrifying boss's idiot son by confronting his prime suspect; Clementine. His approach is Manipulate, Manwhore, Malewife in that order.

{ Masterlist }

A/N: 5935 words. WHEW. i know this is like several weeks late but also work is v busy, there's a lot of events around the end of the year,,, but FINALLY we get proper clem and tang content, which is as much a treat for me as it is for y'all. let me know what you think!! im v excited for the next chapter already, and getting into clementine's head for her perspective on all that's happening. anywho, lemme know what you're thinking about it so far!!

Warnings: Don't be surprised when the OC is a terrible person and is implied to have done terrible things along with the rest of them. There will be smut in the future chapters.

Chapter Warnings: kind of implied body mutilation at the very end, discussion of death/murder

Taglist: @venusthepirate @malar-region @tangerinesgf @esmaada @sarcastic-sourwolf @djjskfkskjf @justshutupmars @somikesoc @chachadelight @andydre4m @evangelineflowers @darkchai @basementsoup @bellatrix124 @kunikidaswhore @thewinterschildren178 @felhomaly @perksofbeingamultifandomm @aniglio18 @geeiz @mimidior @justicex101 @ltlthetrifecta @salsasadd @tongerines @xkawax @hellsgatelove22 @brownficgirl @tangerineswife @cigarettesandfigureskates @ceciliahargrove

[ always open, just message or comment! ]

----

They are fucked. Three words on repeat, or six if he was feeling especially passionate; one hundred percent absolutely goddamn fucked.

With no briefcase, and a dead Son, Tangerine's imagination is treating him to a clip show of graphic and painful suggestions for how The White Death might have he and his brother killed. It kind of reminds him of those Saw movies, but less gratuitous. Hopefully. No wonder Lemon had been foolishly optimistic about the mission even before their charge had been murdered, he hadn't even so much as glanced at the briefing, the history Tangerine had forwarded him on their client and his family history. Of course Tangerine feels like it's been burned into his brain.  At least now, fully aware of the almost mythic reputation their boss had, and how he'd already lost the woman he loved, father to the son who, unbeknownst to them, had been murdered some time during that conversation, Lemon seemed to operating under an arguably healthy level of fear. At the very least, the fear would spur them both into action, trying to find  both the money, and whoever had killed their charge, hoping the culprit would act as a lightning rod for the White Death's surely impending fury. 

"You think it's The Scorpion," Lemon had muttered less than a moment after hearing Tangerine's plan. 

"Of course I think it's Clementine," he scrubbed his hand over his face, frustrated with a lead he would rather not follow, "but I think we would have seen if she tried to get back past us to have a go at him."

"So you think she was working with someone?"

"Wouldn't put it past her."

"Wouldn't put anything past her now," Lemon agrees. Then, there'd been another silence as Tangerine had glowered in the direction Clementine had disappeared, towards car four. It'd been Lemon who suggested Tangerine go after her, while he would head in the other direction, also looking for whoever had their case. Just five minutes ago, however, Tangerine had watched his brother roll his eyes and accuse him of being predictably soft enough to let Clementine talk her way out of explaining her miraculous reappearance.

"'s extenuating circumstances, isn't it?" Lemon's tone wasn't exactly what Tangerine would call apologetic, but he'd take it, "we didn't know she was The Scorpion then, did we? 's not shocking The Scorpion could talk her way out of explaining herself, 'specially when you don't know she's The Scorpion; 's her job. But she's lost the element of surprise now," he went on, adding pointedly, "and I saw how she looked at you." 

"How's that?" For all his brother's earlier judgement had seemingly vanished, Tangerine was wary of it coming back in full force if Lemon were to discover his relationship with Clementine was far less than platonic, so he's curious about what it may be that his brother observed, considering The Son had figured them out from observing one short conversation.

"Same way she did the entire time we were in New York;" he explains easily, tone far lighter than the situation probably warranted, "she might have been setting us up, but you know that whole saying, the best lies have elements of the truth?" Lemon shakes his head, breezing right past the fact that he'd seemingly made peace with the realisation Tangerine was still half-denying, "she was putting on that whole schoolgirl crush act before, but she obviously still listens to you; use that, turn it back on her. She deserves a taste of her own medicine." It's almost vitriolic; his brother is more than capable of spite and ire, but in this moment it surprises Tangerine; it must show on his face, since betrayal momentarily darkens across Lemon's features, "you know she was my friend too." 

Which is how Tangerine ends up in carriage seven, still also keeping his eye out for the briefcase and whoever took it if it wasn't Clementine, who he really has to stop thinking of as Clementine, and not just because she clearly hates the name. Except why should that even be a factor to consider? What Clementine does or does not like shouldn't factor into any thought he has or decision he makes because she's the goddamn Scorpion; the vicious, untrustworthy lapdog of the man whose son she may or may not have helped murder, thereby��definitely condemning The Twins to some form of unspeakable death, if what The Son had said was true. The only thing he needs to consider about her is figuring out what she'd said in New York that was based on the truth, so he can use it against her. Lemon was right; it couldn't all be an act, nobody, not even The Scorpion, was that good.

Car seven was far nicer than Clementine deserved, much to Tangerine's growing chagrin. He probably shouldn't have sworn when lamenting about not having chosen first class for himself, but at least the teenager had mouthed off beside and subsequently apologise to is surprisingly useful.

"You haven't seen someone with a silver briefcase have you? It's got a little train sticker on the handle," he explains, taking a shot in the dark on the proper looking young woman, who says that she actually has. This momentary delight turns to another bought of anger when he realises that the man she's describing is someone he ran into just moments ago; it explains why he appeared to be trying to hide from Tangerine by the luggage. Gritting his teeth with frustration, he finds himself at an unexpected impasse; he knows the guy could be getting off at the very next stop, and that he should be going after him, but there's still something bothering him. This is Clementine's carriage. Allegedly. 

"Is everything alright?" The teenager asks again, doe-eyed and concern in her voice. She must be watching him scan the car and find no trace of the woman he's searching for.

"There's meant to be another passenger in here." 

"Maybe they got off already." 

He hopes the teen isn't right, but the more he looks, the angrier he becomes with himself. Of the few passenger in this car, he could spot no-one who Clementine would, or should have been guarding. Maybe that was dismissive, maybe one of the scattered business people were far more important than he assumed, but the first job she'd lied about today was being a tutor, and the only person here who would match that cover story well was the teen next to him, and she was clearly travelling with the older, tired looking man in the seat adjacent. 

"There was no little, blonde woman in this car, was there?" Tangerine asks after a moment, defeated, just trying to confirm his suspicions. The teen thinks for a surprisingly long moment.

"I saw a woman who dressed a bit like a librarian, I think she was blonde."

"She was here?"

"Yes, with the man with the hat and the glasses and the briefcase." 

"She was with the man with the briefcase?" 

"I think so? He sounded very American, but I'm not sure about her, I'm sorry; I heard him talking about travelling all the way to Kyoto," she paused, and Tangerine has never felt more fury or relief in his life, "are they friends of yours?" The teenager asks, earnest.

"They're not very nice people, I'm afraid, they like to trick people like you and me; I'm just having a conversation with them, but you be careful if you see them again, you hear?" 

"I'm not worried, I've got Uncle Kimura," with a sunny smile, she looks to the older gentleman beside her who appears hunched on himself. He doesn't exactly inspire confidence. At the guy  kind of looks like he might have an edge to him, "right, Uncle?" The girl prompts. Kimura, who'd been looking at his knees, nods sharply. It's fine, these people aren't his responsibility. Tangerine thanks them and finally turns on his heel, heading the way the girl pointed, back the way he came.  

Tangerine's almost all the way back through the sixth carriage when he glances over his shoulder and spots Clementine about to enter the carriage. Shouldn't she be ahead of him? He's already at the end of the carriage, having scoured every inch while trying not to draw too much attention to himself, but somehow she's coming from carriage seven. The door glides open and Clementine raises her eyebrows at him in question, but Tangerine turns away pointedly. It's a split second decision, but in the space between cars six and five there's a tiny bathroom, and after a moment of pause, Tangerine steps inside. Fuck he hopes she'll take the bait.

It's a shot in the dark, and possibly a very stupid idea; he has no idea how a creature like Clementine will react to being cornered, but he needs to make sure she can't get away when he starts to apply the pressure.

Thankfully she doesn't keep him waiting; she never has.  Moments later, there comes a hesitant knock at the door.

"Housekeeping," Clementine tries awkwardly when Tangerine gives no response; it's an echo of so many all too familiar memories. Tangerine unlocks the door without a word. Clementine only opens the door enough to peer in; again, those darting eyes of hers survey the scene, searching every inch of the bathroom and it's occupant. Tangerine bites back an irate comment as Lemon's words swim to the forefront of his mind;

She obviously still listens to you; use that, turn it back on her.

"Come on, sweetheart," it's as gentle as Tangerine will allow himself to be in this moment, "you owe me an explanation." It appears to do it's job as Clementine's eyes focus solely on his; she hesitates, but she steps into the space without much more protest. With his focus so pin-pointed on her, he catches every minute movement she makes, the way she shifts her tight grip on her bag, the way she glances around furtively before she joins him in the crowded bathroom. 

"It's a private conversation," Tangerine prompts expectantly. Though Clementine clearly understands what he means, she gives pointed pause before locking the door behind herself. Every movement she makes is a pantomime of placation and submission, deliberately undermining her true identity, like she's trying to still lull him into a false sense of security. Now he sees it for what it is, Tangerine feels like a fucking fool; she set him up, first in New York, now today. But he won't speak first. He wants to know how deep she'll dig herself if she thinks he's oblivious.

"Okay, you got me," she says finally, half sighing as she puts down her bag. What? She's just giving herself up? Like that? "I was just trying to do my job, but you're right, I do owe you an explanation, and I did tell you where I'd be, so I should have expected you to come looking for me, I just didn't think it'd be immed-" she sounds so fucking casual and Tangerine's patience only extends so far. So maybe he traps her against the door with his hand over her mouth, pinning her empty, fidgeting hands between them.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up," came out as a furious hiss, and there's some small victory to take in the momentary alarm in Clementine's eyes before she adjusts to understand the situation. While he can feel the way she's shifting again him acutely, tensing, readjusting to the situation, something strange happens to her expression. The tension drops, no expression beneath his hand, no light in her eyes as he's searching for something, anything in there. It's unsettling, he can't get a proper read on her. It's like she's turned off her face.

"Fuckin' scorpion's right," Tangerine scowls. Finally there's a reaction; Clementine's brow furrows and she says something but it's muffled by his hand. After a moment of deliberation, Tangerine moves his hand from her mouth to hold her jaw in an almost bruising grip, in an effort to keep her head pinned against the door. 

"What detergent do you use?"

"What?"

"You smell really nice, what detergent do you use?"

"Does that sound like an explanation to you?" The words on his tongue are ice cold, a warning, but Clementine smirks. 

"You sound stressed," her voice is low and laden with implications, and he feels her shifting her fingers, still trapped between them both. If she really wanted to free her hands, Tangerine's sure she probably could; no, this was just to remind him they were there. Oh, so it's like that?

Leaning in, he can feel the way her chest moves when her breath catches. There's the light of anticipation in her eyes and triumph in her smile, but his lips stop an inch from hers.

"You're a right fuckin' piece of work, sweetheart," he murmurs vindictively, gaze cold. It feels like a hard won victory to see the momentary confusion and anger in her eyes, "pretty, little Clementine's a great distraction, isn't she? At least until you split the targets up." There's something defensive in Clementine's eyes now, and when she shoves at him, he steps back. Manoeuvring smoothly around her as she stumbles forwards, catching herself on the wall, he easily blocks the door and her bag. When she looks back at him, there's almost betrayal in her eyes. A taste of her own medicine.

"The fuck are you talking about?"

"Lemon's still out there, searching for the man who you can pin all your little technicalities on; your partner with the glasses and the hat and my fucking briefcase." 

"Your briefcase?" Clementine seems to snap automatically before the rest of his words sink in.

"So you did steal my briefcase?" Finally a fucking answer. 

"I've spent this entire time looking for the fucking briefcase, I don't have it," damn it! " The man you're describing? I was told he had it, so if I knew him, or even found him, I would have the case, but I don't," she gestures, as if to emphasise the lack of briefcase in her possession. Then, taking a deep breath, she stands as tall as she's able, squaring her shoulders. With a defiant expression, her voice turns cold, "if I wanted to steal from you, Tangerine, I wouldn't need help."  

Tension stretches from one moment to the next; neither Tangerine nor Clementine wanted to be the one to blink first. 

"Keep your fucking ego in check."

"Why am I here?" Clementine rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. Again, she's gone back to being infuriatingly casual. Still, Tangerine gave a mean, little smile.

"Not so fun when you're not the distraction?"

"Why do you need to distract me?" 

"Give Lemon plenty of time to make sure your partner is all ready to go for when we give you both over to the White Death," he sneered, leaning against the door for good measure, "his baby boy's killers, with a bow on top."

Clementine freezes.

"I don't do partners; if I wanted to kill the White Death's son, I promise you he would be dead before now."

"Funny how you say that," Tangerine lets the implications fester in the silence.  Watching Clementine's expression, he finds there's something uncomfortable about being able to pin point the moment she turns her expression off once more. But she's fidgeting again, pulling and fussing with her gloves in a way that's almost distressed. 

"I thought you were better than this," there's emotion in her words, but none of that reads on her face; "he plays the victim like it's a sport; I thought you had more self respect than to be his simpering little lackey -" it's the cruellest she's ever spoken to him, so he feels justified responding in kind.

"The only reason I haven't killed you for endangering my mission is so I can hand you over to The White Death myself."

"No," it escapes her almost involuntarily, the word coming out more like a gasp as she finally seems to believe him, expression quickly flickering back to life with a confused frown, "no," this time its almost a childish whimper as she seems to disregard her immediate situation, moving on instinct as she tries to shove past Tangerine, "this isn't funny, I need to -" 

"I think we'll stay right here; don't want you scampering off."

"Tangerine, move, if he wants my fucking attention he's got it, okay?" Voice terse, she shoves him again, more forcefully, but still he refuses to budge, "move, or I will make you move." There's a definite threat in her words, but the light in her eyes is strangely dim, her gaze has gone shallow.

"You understand why I can't."

"I didn't kill him."

"I'm not about to take your word for that, sorry sweetheart."

"Cuff me then," she spits, "take my phone, walk me through the train like a fucking convict; I'm seeing him, with or without you." She's not looking at him, she's doing that thing with her eyes, the unsubtle searching for exits or advantages. There's no teasing nor sarcasm, the suggestion was deadly serious.

"Why do you even need to see him? To make they finished the job?" Still, Tangerine wasn't about to give her even an inch to run with unless he was sure he could keep the situation contained.

"I'm a bodyguard!" The outburst is surprisingly raw, frustration and desperation bleeding into her words, "I'm looking after a fucking teenager, look at me, Tangerine, you think I'm dressed like this for my health? That I'd be so fucking obvious as to have a conversation with all of you if he was my fucking target?" With Tangerine still refusing to move, Clementine has grabbed the lapels of his jacket, standing almost flush to him where he blocked the closed door. There's actual desperation clear as day in her eyes, written across her whole damn face. She's searching his expression for any hint of compassion, but she will find none considering how little he can bring himself to trust her. "Please."

"Not with your bag," finally, Tangerine's voice comes out as a murmur. The confusion is at least easier to look at than despair. 

"What?"

"I don't trust you; I'm taking your bag." 

"No." 

"This is not a negotiation, Clementine." 

They're still nose to nose, all but sharing breath in this tiny bathroom, this minute moment. The anger, the desperation disappears from her face like curtains closing on a show; he still doesn't know if it's a deliberate act or a defence mechanism. 

"Okay," comes as a whisper, and slowly Clementine steps back. There's no light in her eyes, no fight, just resignation. She picks up her leather bag and offers it. Tangerine takes it almost automatically, but Clementine still holds on for a moment as he goes to pull it from her grip, "there's a lot of medical supplies in there; just tell me you'll give it back if I need it." Oh. 

Tangerine gives a solemn nod, and finally Clementine lets go, lets her hand fall to the side. After a moment, Tangerine finally feels like he can open the door, can take Clementine to see The Son. Still mostly convinced that she is at least working with the bastard who killed his charge, Tangerine finds he's feeling a healthy level of apprehension, only barely eased knowing he's holding a majority of Clementine's resources. 

Beyond the door is a very startled looking man with his hand half raised. He half mumbles an apology before Clementine weaves her way around Tangerine.

"Oh, no excuse us, sir," she practically giggles, responding in Japanese to the poor civilian, her eyes bright and exuding a mischievous air. It's an uncomfortably sharp tone shift from just moments ago. But Clementine catching him off guard earlier happened to be exception, not the rule; their line of worked had always necessitated flexibility. 

"Sorry about that, mate," Tangerine nods awkwardly to the gentleman, who is smiling and nodding and trying to shuffle further out of what he perceives to be a happy couple's way. Clementine's already a few steps ahead, but Tangerine manages to loop a finger in the waistband of her skirt by the small of her back, catching her before she steps into the carriage proper, "sweetheart." 

When she looks at him he could almost swear her eyes were bloody well sparkling. They should end the bit, the man is in the bathroom and the door is closed; why is she smiling like that? Why is he letting her take his hand?

"What?" There's a teasing edge to her voice, "can't blame a girl for being in a good mood," she gives his hand a squeeze. The door slides open and they head into the aisle between the other passengers, and Tangerine lets Clementine's hand shift against his so their fingers were linked as she trailed ahead of him. This familiar warmth came with warning bells now, but still he let her lead. Everything about her seemed so relaxed, confident, and bouncy, but for every eye she caught, they just as soon seemed to look away dismissively.

"Even the train mascots are adorable here," he hears Clementine coo as they're a few seats through the fifth carriage, squeezing herself to the side to allowed one of the plush, oversized costumes to pass. Tangerine lets her lead him out of the way too as he reorientates himself amid the ethereal, neon low-lighting of the carriage. Tangerine barely registers that he's plucked a stuffed toy out of a kid's hands before he's frowning at it in confusion. 

Mononga, Lemon had said a much earlier. Kind of goofy-looking, with wide, vacant eyes. It kind of reminds him of Clementine in that unnerving, expressionless state she kept going into earlier. But he doesn't say that out loud; the comparison is unflattering, even if she had just complimented the creature's design.

"Souvenir, I guess?" He offers, giving Clementine's hand a squeeze to grab her attention. Her expression is just as open and naive as her bubbly chattering would lead anyone else to believe, and she lights up at the sight of the plushie. The neon side lights catch her blonde hair in blues and purples, like something out of a dream. This feeling isn't real, he has to remind himself, before deciding to turn this sweet, false nostalgia back on her. It was time to test how much truth their was in her lies. 

It's a series of memories he finds himself dredging up from New York, shy embarrassed smiles she couldn't seem to help in quiet moments when she caught him watching her; at the time, she had seemed too good to be true, and she was. Perfect by her own design. But every time she'd half-heartedly tell him to stop, blushing furiously, unable to look him in the eye once she'd realised. She'd jokingly scolded him, careful, Detective, if you keep looking at me like that, I might fall in love with you - but when he'd asked her 'like what' she'd gone quiet. She never asked him to stop after that. 

("So you think Clementine fucked you in New York because she loved you?")

So when Clementine looks from the toy to Tangerine, he focuses on that one moment of hope, of relief that he'd felt when he'd first seen her on the train. The way he'd feel whenever she'd knocked on his door in New York. Clementine actually comes to a momentary standstill; it works. There's more truth to those memories than she probably hoped he realised, at least judging by the way her whole expression softens for the barest moment. There's definitely several layers to this brief interaction he should think about more carefully, but unfortunately he doesn't get the chance. 

Before Clementine can take the toy he's offering, the large mascot suit they'd passed looms up behind her, it's big, plush hand grabbing her upper arm. It's other hand keeps fussing awkwardly with something, but Clementine faces it with a confused frown, wrenching her arm out of it's grip. The mascot gives a cutey wave, emitting a string of nonsense babble before it tries grabbing at her arm again, somehow even more insistently.

"What the -?" Tangerine mumbles, with very little frame of reference for appropriate mascot conduct, which is the moment Clementine chances a confused look back at him. Seeing her own expression mirrored seemed to convince her it wasn't something he'd set up to double cross her, so in a flash, she beams. Everything happens in a flash after that -

"You're cute, but I'm with him," once again there's that bubbly, bright voice, and it's all an act again. But it's immediately followed by Clementine slipping her hand from Tangerine's and punching the mascot at a calculated diagonal, her hand disappearing between where the costume meets the mask, and there's a muffled but distinctly English 'fuck' that's far deeper than the nonsense the creature babbled a second ago as it goes toppling backwards. Tangerine pelts the stuffed toy at its large look alike for good measure, calling it an asshole. He can hear Clementine laugh, even if she doesn't look back at him; that's the part he'll remember in hindsight. 

In car four, they meet the bar cart head on at an impasse in the middle of the aisle, and Tangerine slides into an empty seat, pulling Clementine out of the aisle and into his lap. He feels her tense with surprise, hand flying to where he has an arm wrapped around her middle, he can feel her begin to dig her fingers against his sleeve before her mind catches up with her instincts and she relaxes. 

Tangerine apologises to the train attendant pushing the cart past them while Clementine leans back against him, giggling.

"Careful, sweetheart," he chides in a voice loud enough for the few surrounding passengers to hear. 

"You'll be careful for me," she teases sweetly, matching his volume but shifting in his lap just a little, enough to tuck herself against him momentarily. He feigns half-hearted apology as he looks to the attendant again so he can pretend like he doesn't notice that Clementine still can't look him in the eyes, but instead of looking away from the spectacle they're making, the attendant's expression softens, charmed by the charade, telling them they're very sweet, and to have a good day. 

They weave together around other passengers, pieces of luggage, and attendants with a fluid ease, matching each other's energy even as their chatter had died down. But, in the space between carriages three and four, everything very suddenly stops. 

Dropping his hand, her attention is drawn to the small window into carriage three. A long moment passes before she tries to retreat, tries to edge into the vanity area he'd first found her in to now dart past him. 

"That's three you owe me," he tells her. Clementine's mouth presses into a thin, unhappy line, but she doesn't look away from the door. At least she's stopped moving, "what the fuck?" Tangerine clarifies, holding up a first finger, "what the fuck was that?" He pointed with his now raised two fingers towards the door they just came through, "and why the fuck we've suddenly stopped?" Three.

"Easiest thing I could think of." Frowning at the door to carriage three, she starts fidgeting again; Tangerine thinks he sees a strange kind of discolouration around the fingertips of her right glove, like some kind of residue that left the dark gloves a slightly different texture and colour than they should be.

"What?" 

"People are very dismissive of silly, pretty girls, and very forgiving of the sensible, handsome boys they loudly love to dote, on while pulling them at borderline unacceptable speeds through public trains," it sounds almost rote, like she wasn't even thinking about what she was saying, like she was reciting from a script, an established truth, "and loving you is easy for me." Like it's the simplest thing in the world, and not an ego-shattering blow for how easily she apparently found him to manipulate. When she looks to him, or rather, when she looks past him, still her expression is unreadable, "easiest cover I could think of." 

He puts a pin in that for later, no sense dwelling until after he survives this fucking train ride.

"Why have we stopped? There's only five stations to Kyoto."

Clementine grimaces, turning her attention back to the door. From this angle, neither of them can see The Son where he should be slumped against the window.

"This is a cruel joke," Clementine's voice is flat, barely a murmur, "he's mad at me, of course he wants me to believe I'm being framed for his murder," there's an unfamiliar uncertainty in her voice all of a sudden, a wobble she can't quite hide, "he's so petty, he wants me to think it's happened again." 

"We don't have time for this -"

"You don't have time," Clementine's bordering on audible distress again as Tangerine hears the door to carriage four hiss open; she doesn't seem to notice it, "I didn't hurt -" Tangerine, in an effort to keep their current, unfortunate situation from the ears of any strangers, follows Clementine's earlier lead when he kisses her to shut her up, holding her face in his hands. 

Clementine takes the hint and shuts up.

There's an unmistakable yearning in the way she has always kissed him, and it comes through even now. Maybe it's the way she wraps her arms around him, she's still fidgeting just a little, but it still as she settles into it. Maybe it's the way she kisses him back without hesitation, fitting against him like she was made for this moment. Or maybe it was about the half second before he even leaned in, how her voice, her protests, had gone quiet the moment he'd held her face, how she'd bounced up on her toes automatically in anticipation, and the quiet, surprised hope that had been brighter in her eyes than any distress in that split second. 

"No loitering here, please," a voice greets them in kind, but firm Japanese, and they both break apart to see an attendant smiling awkwardly at them. Clementine whips her hands behind her back quickly, flushed. Tangerine apologises to him, and when he turns back, Clementine is looking at the door to the third car, fussing with the hem of her sweater that she'd just untucked, cheeks all pink. 

"Now or never," she says softly, unable to look him in the eyes. There's something different about this moment; Tangerine has no idea how to feel about what he'd just done, or what Clementine's reaction to it all means to him. She gestures for him to lead, but he offers his free hand, the other still holding her bag. Clementine takes his hand, and lets him lead her through the door to car three.

Tangerine is barely a step ahead of Clementine, but the moment his booth comes into view, his attention is drawn not to The Son, gaunt and at an odd angle across two seats, but to his brother, face down on the table. Immediately he lets go of Clementine and rushes to his brother's side. Oh god -- No blood from the eyes or mouth, definitely still got a pulse; seems like he got a bit knocked around but he'll be alright -

"There's a silver flashlight in my bag if you wanna check for a concussion," Clementine's tone is completely flat, but she's close. She hadn't taken the opportunity to run. He's... surprisingly grateful. When Tangerine finally turns to her, he sees her looking at Lemon, her expression drawn. She's leaning against the seat across from him, standing in the aisle all carefully casual with her arms crossed, but her back to The Son and the tense set of her shoulders betrays her, "if he's non-responsive, or isn't waking up, open up one of his eyelids, shine the torch from the outer edge of his eye inward, and do the same on the other side, his pupils should constrict." And her gaze flicks to meet Tangerine's, expression serious, tone no-nonsense. From where he's leaning over to check his brother, Tangerine can see the discrete way her hand is still fidgeting, "if they don't, or if they are but it's taking longer than it should, then there's a problem." After a moment, she breaks the stare, looking down at her shoes, the muscles in her jaw tightening almost imperceptibly.  

Tangerine opens her bag. The first thing is notices is the torn lining inside, and something plastic behind it -

"Are these SIM-cards?" 

"Can you put a pin in invading my privacy?" She's still looking at her shoes, "the flashlight should be somewhere in with my medical supplies, use it or give my bag back." 

The medical supplies take up a bulk of the bag, which isn't surprising when he sees leagues beyond what would be in a simple first aid kit. There's sterilised, packaged medical tools, dressings, drugs, splints, syringes, swabs, scalpels, a damn stethoscope -

"You know how to use all this?" 

Clementine makes an affirmative noise in the back of her throat but doesn't look up. 

As far as Tangerine can tell, following Clementine's instructions, Lemon doesn't have a concussion. He leaves his brother for now, no sense just waiting around when there's still a man with their briefcase somewhere on the train that he needs to find. He goes to grabs the glasses that he'd previously put on The Son to hide his bleeding eyes, posing the poor bastard back up against the window, only to see Clementine, her bag in hand, at the door to the next car already. Tangerine follows briskly, catching her wrist before she can enter car two. 

"I thought you wanted to see him." He drops her hand the moment she turns to him.

"I saw him," her tone is unreadable, she can't look at him now, "we need to find who did this."

"Your accomplice," Tangerine corrects spitefully. Clementine glances behind herself with a frown, slapping the open door button. Clementine backs into the space and Tangerine follows; the door slides closed affording them far more privacy.

"If I was going to kill him, I wouldn't get someone else to do it for me," she snaps, finally meeting his gaze, "but despite how shitty things got between us, I genuinely did not want him dead." 

"So you hoping that his father cut out his tongue was, what, foreplay?" 

"I wanted him to hurt, sure, but I never wanted him to die." 

"Still not sure that argument would hold up in court." 

"Well if we can't find who actually did it," Clementine tells him snarkily, "you can have a front row seat to me presumably been thrown feet-first into a wood chipper, right before our boss shoots you and your brother in the head."

Tangerine's expression is stony for a few long moments as Clementine scowls at him, before he lets out a long, irate exhale through his nose. 

"Okay Scorpion, let's say I believe you didn't kill the Frog, how exactly does that save me and Lemon from execution? Because I'm not sure if you heard, but the last poor bastard who failed the White Death's family so fucking severely lost four fingers for surviving a car crash, and apparently he actually quite liked them." He's hoping it hits Clementine the way it hit him, all at once, instilling the fear of God into her about the whole situation, but her expression has darkened.

"Tangerine, how exactly do you think I lost my fingers?"

"How the fuck is that relevant right now -?" it's this exact moment that it all fits together in his mind, and he goes dead silent. Then, despairingly, "you didn't kill him."

[dilucids]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤCelebrity crush, Genshin boys idol! au

admitting you're their celebrity crush and their reaction to your reaction

includes: kaeya, diluc, zhongli and xiao

( can't stop thinking about idol! au genshin. any type of celebrity but it's hinted that you're a singer in xiao's. )

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 KAEYA ALBERICH ━━ FROSTWIND SWORDSMAN 〕

━━ this man is sooooo fucking slick with it.

━━ he'll slyly bring it up in an interview or a live with a smirk on his face and then act as if it never happened when someone questions him.

━━ his members just stares at him when he brings you up, knowing, that beneath that sly persona and nonchalant act, there was millions pounds worth of fan merchandise in his room.

━━ he would evade the subject and if it's an interview, the host would have to pry answers from his members instead as he sits there proudly with a smile on his face as his members tell his fan behaviour instead of him.

━━ in a live, he would somehow convince his fans they were hallucinating but someone would post the clip and everyone would just go ballistic, it'd be one of those "top ten things i can't believe kaeya managed to get away with: gaslighting his fans into believing they were crazy."

"Who's your favourite celebrity?" Kaeya reads out from the comments passing quickly through his Instagram live, he pretends to think. A smile forms on his face when he 'decides' on an answer, "probably [Name]."

He watches the comments speed through even quicker before changing the subject, dropping the matter as if it never happened. His fans are all freaking out though, wanting to get more details on his crush on the celebrity but Kaeya ignores all comments about the subject. They never die down though, only ending when Kaeya himself ends the live.

━━ you may have ended on the same show some time after him and the host brings it up ( 100% planned for views ).

━━ it makes you smile because you've already been informed about this topic by your fans and kaeya's.

━━ you'd end up thanking kaeya for the support and say that you've also been lowkey a fan of his group but you've never openly stated that to anyone.

━━ his fans and your fans immediately get to work and start tagging kaeya's insta/twitter, group and personal, under the clip of you shyly admitting you're a fan of his also and he goes mental.

━━ probably sits there watching the entire interview with a huge smile on his face, and it doesn't leave, not even after he finishes the interview ( bonus: diluc is very disturbed ).

━━ HUGE ego boost for the rest of the day. kaeya's normally very confident but he's extra confident, like starts strutting around like he's the shit and even had the balls to nod his head at diluc as if to say "what's up" with the largest shit eating grin on his face.

━━ diluc definitely thought he was picking a fight.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 DILUC RAGNVINDR ━━ DARKNIGHT HERO 〕

━━ more likely to come from one of his members than him.

━━ or he'd be very smooth with it, and brings it up rather subtly. it'd be a small "oh, i ingest their content and enjoy it" and he'd just continue about his day

━━ and his fans will still go insane because diluc actually enjoying something seems weird, especially another celebrity's work

━━ this would obviously reach you, who was an open fan of his group, and you'd freak out when you see it but wouldn't bring it up because he only said he enjoyed your work, not he was a fan.

━━ would definitely get questioned if he was being interviewed on a talk show, he wouldn't evade the question.

━━ he doesn't really see a point in lying, so he simply shrugs and tells the host that he is a fan and owns some merchandise.

"Diluc, a few fans are curious about your statement the other day," the host redirects the questions to Diluc, who raises an eyebrow. "Is it true that you're a fan of [Name]?"

The question makes his heart pick up a little, he leans back on his chair and clears his throat, composing himself before nodding. "I am a fan," the host seems happy by his response. The conversation continues to steer in this direction, asking Diluc if he had attended any fan meetings or merchandise, how he would feel if you two collaborated for a project and then finally ending once the host asks other members if they were fans of anyone.

━━ he thinks nothing of it, continuing with his day as usual but when he gets mentioned by your twitter? the man loses his shit.

━━ he sits there staring at his screen like he was hallucinating and literally tunes everything else out, staring at your little: "i'd love to work with you too!" message with a small smiley face at the end.

━━ he checks the account multiple times just in case it was one of his fans trolling him but clicking on the @ takes him back to your account so he gives in at some point

━━ he types out a normal, professional "thank you, i hope a time comes when we can collaborate" and "i look forward to more of your works" but he's still losing his shit.

━━ stays in his mind for at least a week.

━━ fans always bring up the fact that y'all never did end up collaborating.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 ZHONGLI ━━ VAGO MUNDO 〕

━━ the public is very aware.

━━ he's never made an attempt to hide how he is a fan, not even the massive poster in his room or the little keychain that he hangs on his bag nor the red eyeliner belonging to a makeup brand that you became a brand embassador for, also now one of his favourite brands.

━━ so no one is really surprised when he talks about you or your upcoming work, what is kinda surprising is when he straight up says that he says you're his ideal type.

━━ not because it's shocking that you'd be anyone's ideal type but because they didn't expect the out of the blue question from host and it's even more mind boggling when the man doesn't even stutter nor even think before just saying your name.

━━ members are sat beside him literally losing their shit in both negative ( scandals and shit ) and positive ( it's fucking hilarious ) ways as he just blinks.

━━ he doesn't even look the slightest bit worried as he stares dead straight through the host's head.

━━ obviously scandals emerge, there are positive and negative reactions. some people suddenly realise how good you two would look together and others are mad you "stole" their man because we have delulus in all fandoms.

"So Zhongli," the host starts before clearing his throat, obviously a tad uncomfortable under the eldest member's sudden gaze, "who is your ideal type?" The members also seem curious, as they stop their interactions, staring over at their unusually emotionless member.

One member laughs, waving the question off as a joke and as a way to avoid any possible scandals, knowing that Zhongli wouldn't filter his words due to his lacking understanding of social cues. "C'mon, there's no way that he has an id━━"

"If I had to say, then [Name] suits my preferences." The member who tried to wave it off blinks, staring at Zhongli like he just murdered someone and other members laugh. The host seems pleasantly surprised, peering at the camera with a raised eyebrow and a certain look on his face. The entire studio never gets over it.

━━ it's brought to your attention on twitter because twitter is usually where shit goes down.

━━ you've always been aware that zhongli has been a fan but you've never been able to speak up about it due to your management.

━━ luckily for you, your contract with your previous strict company had ended just a while ago and under your new management, you were more free to do whatever you wanted.

━━ so obviously, you quote tweet the video, tag his account and say in a jokingly way that he should take you out on a date first.

━━ he doesn't publicly reply to your tweet because he already got in trouble with his management for answering such a risky question anyways and your tweet is a little too suggestive.

━━ but he also wants you to know he has seen the tweet. so his solution? to slip into your dms.

━━ and all of a sudden, the next time you're both seen together, you're besties? so people started connecting dots and shit, were they good at connecting them. moral of the story: never underestimate zhongli fans because collectively, they may be able to beat zhongli in an iq test.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 XIAO ━━ CONQUEROR OF DEMONS 〕

━━ best believe this man got death threated or held at gunpoint into admitting you're his celebrity crush.

━━ or he didn't do it at all and his members confessed for him just to tease him.

━━ happens on a group live, members are just vibing.

━━ xiao is sat in the back somewhere, scrolling through his phone with his earphones in so he doesn't notice his members shifting the camera to him or jumps onto him whilst holding the camera.

━━ when he does notice though, he takes out his earbud and your song just blARES through his earphone and it's fucking loud.

━━ he immediately turns it down but his fellow member already has this shit eating grin on his face and jumps onto xiao, successfully grabbing his phone and showing the live of 100k+ people.

━━ his homescreen is one of those "boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material" lockscreens of you and it shows that your song had been playing.

━━ xiao literally attacks his members and grabs his phone back, walking off to escape the embarrassment but can hear the echoing laughter as he walks down the hallway and slams his door closed.

Xiao lets out a sudden 'oompf' when his members glomps right ontop of him, grinning widely as they held up a camera to show off themselves and Xiao. Glancing at the camera, Xiao takes off an earbud, freezing when a loud upbeat tune echoes throughout the open area. Xiao ignores the feeling of his face heating up and turns down the song, ignoring the obvious gleeful stare of his member.

Almost on instinct, he moves his phone away but curse his parents for their genes because all it takes is a little stretching for his member to have his greasy fingers all over his phone, ripping it out of his hands and immediately running away to shield themselves from the wrath of all 5" and a bit of Xiao. When they deem it safe, they click on the home button of the screen, grinning amused at the homescreen.

"Look at fanboy Xiao!" And just like that, Xiao's cold demeanour had been shatteres infront of a plethora of people.

━━ you find it one of the most endearing things ever.

━━ literally how could you not? you find pride in yourself to have such a popular member of an idol group enjoy your work and it helps gain a little more confidence in yourself.

━━ it's brought up on a talk show kinda casually where the host is one of your friends so they are slightly teasing you for it all the whilst remaining on the professional side.

━━ and it's obvious to say that you're embarrassed by the way you chuckle and mess with your fingers and hair, but you hold yourself together anyways and manage a sweet "thank you for the support" to xiao when the host asks if you wanted to say something in case he was watching.

━━ and the very next day, on xiao's official instagram, he has a signed album and poster of yours, tagged and everything.

[totalbetty]

Touch || Lee Jeno - VII.

AU | soulmate au pairing | OC x high-school!Jeno genre | slow burn, strangers to friends, friends to lovers, soulmates; fluff & angst word count | 6,301 trigger warning | 16+ strong language, sexual innuendos, blood, death, kidnapping, assault, violence

description | In a world where everyone has a soulmate, but not everyone is destined to meet their other half, Ru didn't think she could be an exception. After all, what kind of story starts with an ordinary, teenage orphan like her? However, all that changed when her eyes met his: big, dark and mysterious.

Masterlist! PART I | PART II | PART III | PART IV | PART V | PART VI | PART VII | PART VIII

author's note | I know I said I was going to be inactive but I didn't wanna leave y'all high and dry, you know? I usually wait until I'm finished with five chapters before publishing one post, but I figured that'd take forever so I'll just post one chapter now, and later when I finish the next chapter I'll just update this post and add it here. So keep an eye out! :) ALSO, don't forget to like or reblog or just interact with this story, it'd mean the world to me asdjaoihowe alright— to the story!!!

chapter thirty one.

Bright, clear skies painted the horizon a vibrant shade of blue, the warm afternoon air setting the lively Friday mood at the local railway station. The outdoor platform was completed with a bustling crowd, each individual headed off in their own directions.

"Do you think he left?" Jaemin wondered hastily over the simultaneous chatter.

"He couldn’t have—" Ru slithered between the tight space ahead of the boys— "the train doesn’t leave for another ten minutes!"

They continued to push hurriedly through the crowd, and despite the obvious urgency tugging at them, Ru was hopeful— the skies were a good indication of it.

"This way," Jeno gestured to their left. His hand was glued to the small of her back, his body hovering behind her as they continued to speed-walk through the rush of people that day, eyes peeled for their best friend.

They slipped between groups, and Ru looked up at the digital text display that had the time. Ru swallowed down the little hint of anxiety she had of barely missing the boy. Down an escalator they went, bounding down the steps as its mechanics pushed to do the same.

She parted her way through another opening in between people; the crowd was starting to dissipate.

Just in the distance, she spotted her friend: he was leaning against a station pillar, looking down boredly at the ticket in his hand.

"Renjun!" Her light voice fluttered through the air, loud enough for Renjun to catch.

He looked up, shocked to see the rest of his friends jogging in his direction; Jaemin threw him an excited wave as they moved towards him in almost a huddle.

"Ru…" Renjun pushed himself off of the pillar, eyes darting between his boys and the slightly over-enthusiastic girl.

"Oh—" Ru engulfed him in a tight hug— "thank god you’re not gone yet."

Renjun returned the hug, although his sight lingered on the rest of the boys standing behind her. He soon loosened himself from Ru, eyes fluttering in the direction of one particular boy.

"What are you guys…"

Renjun’s words trailed off slowly as Jeno pulled four tickets from his front pocket, flashing it at Renjun nonchalantly.

Silence ensued between the group. Renjun gulped, finally holding against the boy in front of him a steady gaze. He jutted his chin lightly at Jeno— "what made you change your mind?"

Jeno’s eyes shifted in Ru’s direction.

Ru took his side, linking her fingers around his for silent support.

Jeno cleared his throat. "My dad…"

Ru felt him squeeze her hand lightly, maybe unconsciously he did. "He died yesterday."

Renjun’s eyes bulged— "shit, I’m sorry…"

Surprisingly, Jeno chuckled indifferently, shrugging— "our relationship was fucked, there’s nothing to be sorry about."

Jeno swallowed, drawing his lips into a thin line. "But messed up or not, he’s dead. There’s nothing I can change, even if I wanted to. Not anymore."

"But you—" he nodded lightly— "you still have a chance with your mom. You still have family, and there’s no way in hell I’m keeping you from it."

Ru didn’t know why, but she felt a little prick in her eyes. She let out a shaky breath, watching as Renjun’s shoulders untangled on his sides. A crooked smile formed on his face. "I appreciate it."

Before she knew it, Jeno pulled Renjun into a bone-crushing hug. The rest gave them space, watching in awe the sweet scene before them. They almost didn’t notice a patterned announcement bell ringing in the air above them.

"Attention: this is the final call for passengers boarding train number 5, departure time, 18:15. The train will depart from Platform 9 according to schedule. Attention: this is the final call…"

"Alright guys," Jaemin interrupted the moment, "time to go."

Immediately, Donghyuck lit up in little jumps— "dibs on the window seat!"

Jeno let go of the hug with one arm still over Renjun’s shoulder. "No no, you don’t get to call dibs, we’ll follow the assigned number."

The two stared at each other. There was a beat of silence as Donghyuck squinted his eyes suspiciously. Jeno mirrored the mischievous boy’s stance. And all of a sudden—

"I CALL DIBS!" Donghyuck roared before he dashed into the crowd towards the train. Jeno wasted no time zooming after the boy— "OI!" He screamed as his figure disappeared in between people, leaving Jaemin, Renjun and Ru in heaps of laughter.

The trio jogged after the two. Ru realized then that she might be a little out of shape; by the time they reached the train door, she was taking shallow breaths. Jaemin stepped onto the train cabin where Jeno and Donghyuck had already dashed into.

Renjun stepped onto the cabin after Jaemin, but paused. Ru almost bumped into him when he turned around.

"Hey, Ru?"

She looked up at him expectantly.

A tiny smirk lingered on his lips. "You’re shit at keeping secrets, you know?"

Ru broke into a little chuckle. She raised her eyebrows, giving him a knowing look— "you’re welcome."

Renjun rolled his eyes playfully; he leaned down and gave her a quick peck on the top of her head before strolling into the cabin. Ru could only tsk— but deep down, she was content. She followed Renjun into a cabin on their left.

The orange sunlight drowned the cabin with a honey-like glow, the white noise of the already-seated passengers, all of them busy with their own little lives.

Light shadows followed them eagerly, unnoticed by Ru as she watched a mother help her eight year old child get settled in the seat across from her. She had never actually been on a train before, much less one that had seats facing each other the way this one did.

Since Renjun had bought his ticket separately from the rest of them, he ended up with a seat a few rows down from where their group sat, which was a pair of two-seaters facing each other. She could see the pout on his face as she plopped onto his seat next to a lanky businessman.

Ru placed her hefty backpack on the aisle seat; Jeno had proudly taken up the window seat next to her. For some reason Donghyuck ended up with the aisle seat in front of her, Jaemin sitting snuggly by the window. She didn’t miss Donghyuck’s scrunched nose when she excused herself to the toilet.

She normally hated using the toilet in public, but she was surprised by the cleanliness of the toilets onboard the cabin. She ended up washing her hands twice on the tiny little sink they had. She would’ve washed her hands a third time, but she felt the phone in her pocket buzz.

Mrs. Choi: Have a safe trip, dear!

A little sigh escaped her. Maybe it was relief, maybe a little hint of sadness.

Mrs. Choi was very understanding about Ru’s sudden trip, even insisting that she take some allowance money for the journey. Most parts of her believed leaving the house for the weekend might actually be a good thing, but when Mrs. Choi hugged her, with both arms cradling her like she never wanted to let go… Ru wasn’t so sure anymore.

She smiled subtly at her phone before typing in a quick response.

Ru: I will Mrs. Choi

Ru: See you soon :)

The moment she clicked send on the messages, loud knocks rapped against the bathroom door. She fumbled for her phone, stuffing it in her pocket as she called out awkwardly, "occupied!"

It didn’t matter— the impatient passenger knocked again, harder this time. Ru sighed in exasperation.

"Jeez…" She unlocked the bathroom door, but before she could even pull, the force from the other side of the door sent her stumbling backwards.

She protested in indignation— "hey!"

As soon as the figure stepped into the bathroom, however, she let out an involuntary sigh of relief. She rolled her eyes as the boy shuffled into the tight space and closed the door behind him. Her hands were on her hips as she stared at him.

"Very gentle."

Jeno almost snorted in response. "Sorry."

One would assume this was the time to explain himself, but Jeno merely stood there, looking at her with that silly smirk on his face. Ru gave up— "alright, what are we doing?"

The boy chuckled at her confusion. "Nothing—" he shrugged— "it’s just, we haven’t really had time alone since, you know…"

His eyes trailed down to her lips, and she never saw it coming: the way his hands moved gracefully across her back, the other cupping her cheek like they belonged together. His thumb caressed her bottom lip gently— "this."

Just like that, her knees didn’t know how to function. All of a sudden, in her head she was back out on the street at the break of dawn earlier today. The way her legs melted into jelly, how her mind was wiped clean of all thought when he kissed her mouth. To think that it only happened this morning— it felt like another time of its own.

A shiver ran down her spine— god, she shouldn’t be thinking this right now. She shook her head, looking up at him with a raised eyebrow.

"In the bathroom, though?"

"The guys are kinda hogging the space."

Ru scoffed playfully. "Hyuck?"

"Mhm." Jeno had leaned closer to her, chin jutted as his eyes had only one focus, and it was not the boys.

His lips danced around the corners of her lips. Closer, she begged in her head. The way he leaned in just enough for their bottom lips to graze each other, it drove her crazy. But she was almost desperate to find out just how crazy she could get for him— for this.

Nevermind the fact that they were in a cramped toilet— Ru could stay like this forever, and he could tease her like this for the rest of her life—

Knock, knock!

The couple pulled away. The remnants of her erratic heartbeats left her taking a deep, deep breath as she stared at nothing in particular. Jeno rolled his eyes, glaring at the door behind him.

"Occupied!"

⭒⭒⭒

Dim fluorescent lights hung over the enclosed space, poorly illuminating the drowsy passengers onboard Train 5. Beyond the windows, the rich, black night enveloped their view, speckles of city lights blurring past them in a nostalgic, midnight haze.

Ru stretched her back a little, although her movements were limited; Jeno was fast asleep with his head on her lap, his legs boyishly draped against the window. She had tucked him in with his own jacket a while back and he was knocked out ever since. She admired the way his body rose and fell ever-so-slightly and her fingers traced loose strands of his hair, afraid to wake him up.

The train didn’t end up being as crowded as Ru had expected it to be— in fact, when the train departed, there were a lot of empty seats around them, which included four seats directly across the aisle from them.

That’s how Jaemin and Donghyuck ended up hogging two seats each: Jaemin had his things sprawled neatly on the window seat while he leaned rigidly on the aisle seat. Donghyuck had used his backpack as a pillow, laying his entire body across the two seats, legs dangling off of the aisle’s hand rest. Renjun then claimed the two seats in front of Ru; he was on his phone, back propped against the window with his feet up on the seat.

Jeno, well... he was good enough next to her.

"Look at him, so adorable," she cooed to herself.

Renjun shifted in his seat. Ru looked up and gave him a giggly smile before looking back down at the sleeping boy. "With his squishy cheeks—" she poked his honey-soft cheeks lightly— "and fluffy hair—" she ran her fingers gently through his ruffled hair, her index and middle finger finding its way to part a section of hair where she knew best—" and perfect soul mark."

"Hey, lemme see his soul mark." Renjun sat up from his position, peering into the section of hair she parted on Jeno’s head.

Jaemin was leaning against his hand rest, now also curious about the soul mark.

"I wanna see it too," Donghyuck whined as he struggled to get up from his lying position.

"Looks like two little beans," Jaemin commented as he observed the pigment.

Ru looked up at Jaemin with a flattered giggle. "It does, doesn’t it?"

The group continued to admire the small pigmentation, probably from the lack of better things to do. They had been stuck in the train for a few hours now, and they’ve gone through just about all the activities you could do on a train.

They started the journey scenery-watching and sharing snacks. When the sun had set and they no longer had a view, they resorted to casual conversation and games like truth or dare. After the group had ganged up on Donghyuck and dared him three times in a row to ask for bizarre items from the older lady on the seat directly behind him (gum, wet tissue and her last biscuit), he got grumpy and they all eventually fell asleep in their own time.

Donghyuck swung his legs aggressively as he fished out a chip from his bag of potato chips. "Alright, let’s see your soul mark—" he chewed unceremoniously.

Ru choked on her saliva— "huh?"

"Do yours look like beans too?" Jaemin asked.

"Uh—" her eyes shifted awkwardly, and she found her fingers cradling the boy on her lap. "Well, no, yeah no—" she shook her head— "that’s a secret."

"What? Come on— we’re your best friends!"

Ru stuck her tongue out at Donghyuck— "seeecret."

"It’s somewhere embarrassing, is it?"

Ru whipped her head in Renjun’s direction— he was smirking, eyebrows wiggling. She gasped, grabbing the closest thing within her reach, which happened to be Jeno’s jacket, and chucking it towards the laughing boy.

Below, Jeno shifted in his space. Even though his eyes were closed, it was obvious he was awake now.

"Yo," Jaemin called out to Jeno, "why doesn’t your girlfriend wanna show us her soul mark?"

Unlike Ru, Jeno was completely unbothered— with his eyes still shut, he smirked; he reached out for Ru’s hand, wrapping it closer around him and over his chest— "because that’s for me to know, and for you guys to imagine."

Donghyuck huffed in annoyance, "oi, seriously—"

He lifted his arm up high in exasperation, only to have the contents of his bag of chips come flying out and showering the lady right behind him.

"Ohmygod, I am so sorry—" Donghyuck began bowing profusely at the flustered lady, the topic of Ru���s soul mark far out of all their minds now.

He was lucky they were already at the end of their journey; by the time Donghyuck collected all the stray pieces of chips from the floor, the conductor had announced that they were due to arrive in approximately five minutes.

The group tidied their belongings, still snickering at the flustered Donghyuck. The train finally came to a halt and the five of them stood up on their spots until the passengers were allowed to start filing out of the train.

The cold air nipped at their skins as they walked along the dimly-lit platform; Renjun led the group down along the rest of the tired crowd, everyone walking towards a general direction. Ru tugged at her backpack, suddenly feeling the weight of all her belongings for the weekend ‘trip’. She had to remind herself that this wasn’t so much a ‘trip’ as it was a ‘mission’. They were here to do one thing, and that was their priority for the weekend.

"So Renjun, I’m assuming you have a plan?" Jaemin piped up from behind him, trying his best not to bump into the people around him.

"Kinda."

Kinda. She looked up at Jaemin who returned her gaze. He shrugged nonchalantly, mouthing a little ‘good enough’.

The crowd flowed in one direction, but the moment they reached the train station exit, the people dispersed like ants into their own designated means of transport— some began to line up for taxis and others walked down the pedestrian sidewalk lined with flickering street lights. Renjun was like the latter; he led the rest of them down the street, only looking at his phone every once in a while for directions.

"There's a bus station near here and it’ll take us straight to the motel."

"Motel?" Donghyuck tilted his head. "We’re not going to your mom’s?"

"It’s too late right now, and besides—" Renjun adjusted the straps on his backpack— "the motel’s close to the address I got."

The rest were too drained to argue, so they followed the boy for another three minutes until they reached the bus. The public vehicle was conveniently empty; the five of them clambered onto the back of the bus, huddling despite the spaciousness.

Ru ended up squished on the side by the window, although she could barely see what was outside. She didn’t think sitting down on a train for almost four hours could make her feel so exhausted; she leaned her head against the window and felt the cold material of the glass press against the temple.

She tried to get some sleep, but every time the bus made a stop— for essentially nobody— her eyes would jolt her into consciousness. She would trace the neon lights of the closest building, a sign with a fat, red bird that said ‘The Cardinal’— must be a hotel of some sort— before the bus hissed again and left nothing but smoke in its wake.

She was barely awake when Renjun finally shook the rest of the group awake— "guys, this is our stop."

The four of them followed him out of the stop and back into the deserted night, walking compliantly down the sidewalk as the sounds of crickets muffled the air around them. They only had the streetlights to guide them by now, but it was good enough.

After a few confusing turns down narrowing streets, they finally reached their final destination for the night.

The eerie glow of the blue motel sign illuminated the night in flickers, hovering over its foggy premise like a bad omen at the start of a horror movie. The dewy air curled at her skin, the finishing touches of a fever dream.

"Renjun, if we fucking die here it’s all your fault."

"Shut up."

________________________________________

chapter thirty two.

After Donghyuck adamantly insisted that ‘this is where kids like us go to die’, the group practically had to drag him into the lobby.

Behind the reception was a sullen-looking woman in her late thirties, although from the way she was frowning at the group, Ru thought she could pass for a sixty-year-old.

"Hi," Renjun greeted cautiously, "one room please."

The lady gave them a low grunt before disappearing somewhere into the back room. The five of them stood awkwardly in silence.

"Just one room?" Jeno raised his eyebrow.

"Do I look like I’m made of money?"

Before anyone could answer, the lady waddled back into view, holding a key in her hand. Renjun reached for his pocket, pulling out a wad of neatly-folded cash. Without exchanging words, she handed him the key as he switched it for the money. The lady took the money with no hesitation, and she began counting them expertly.

The group waited, the subtle friction of cash rustling in the cold silence of the lobby. Ru caught Jeno’s eyes, and had to stifle a laugh. He looked just as uncomfortable and confused as the rest of the boys (although Jaemin looked like he was enjoying himself just fine).

The rustling bills finally came to a halt, and the lady was done. However, she still didn’t say anything. She merely looked up, gave the group a slightly disgusted once-over before looking back at Renjun and nodding.

He took that as a good sign; "let’s go," Renjun gestured.

They walked back out to the open space where the line of motel doors awaited. The motel parking lot was practically deserted— there was only one dusty van parked a little further down the lot, probably owned by the motel owners. Ru spotted a vending machine at the end of the open porch; she wondered if they had any good snacks.

"Room 116," Renjun muttered to himself.

Their room was on the ground floor, right in the middle of the line of motel rooms. A muffled click resounded as Renjun unlocked the door, swinging it open.

For a moment, the group stared into the room in silence. Ru didn’t know how it was possible, but the one-star motel looked exactly the way she had pictured it on the way here: two tiny twin beds that took up most of the room, stealing her attention with its complicated flower-patterned sheets, the dull gray carpeting, the vintage lamp and single flower vase that stood side by side on a rickety desk next to the TV set— she didn’t know people still had these boxy tube TVs around.

"Anyone else get the vibes that some old lady died here?" Renjun muttered off-handedly.

They all filed into the stuffy room; they plopped their bags on a worn-out sofa by the drawn windows next to the door.

"Can we all fit on these beds?" Jeno pushed his palm down against the mattress— it was very springy.

Renjun stretched his limbs, scratching the back of his head— "you know what, I’ll go ask that lady at the front desk for a spare mattress or something."

Donghyuck came out from the bathroom with a particular look on his face. "How much do you wanna bet she’s the old lady that died in here?"

Ru snorted at his comment.

There was a moment’s pause; the boys gave her funny looks.

Slowly, the silence dissolved into little snickers that surrounded the room.

"You sound like a 5-year-old high on cough medicine or something," Donghyuck chuckled.

"Hey!" She looked over at Jeno to see him laughing along. Ru rolled her eyes, sitting at the edge of one twin bed. Donghyuck was probably right, though— she was drowsy and she looked like a mess.

Renjun and Jaemin soon left for the front desk with Donghyuck trailing along because he wanted to ‘look around’. The door shut behind them, leaving the room in its original, dank state. Jeno slipped off of the hoodie he had on, draping it over the sofa.

"Hey," Ru called out to him.

He turned, giving her a mildly intrigued look. When she didn’t speak, his lips grew into a timid smile. "What?"

Ru smiled innocently— "nothiiing, just come here, will you?"

She held out her hands, beckoning for him to come closer. With his eyebrows furrowed curiously, he walked over to her and she wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him in. She looked up at his tall figure and their eyes met.

"Come here—" she reached for his face. As she cupped his cheeks, he leaned forward. Her light giggles drove him over the edge; he pushed her back slowly until her body was laying on the hard mattress.

His body hovered over her, trapping her between his arms— she didn’t mind it at all. She blinked back her fatigue and stared up into his glittery eyes. It was hard to focus on anything else when she had these eyes in front of her.

"How are you?" Ru whispered.

She could feel the bed shake beneath her from his amused laughter. "I’m quite alright, miss."

"No—" her chuckles faded slowly; her eyes glistened as she formed for him a comforting smile— "how are you holding up?"

The boy sighed. If he were to break down, to tell her nothing in his life was right, she swore it would’ve been at this moment— his eyes said it all. But instead, he gave her a wistful smile and whispered back, "I’m okay."

Ru could hear it in his voie— she knew there was a reason he only whispered it. But all she knew to do was to smile back. So she did; she held his face, stroked his cheek slowly with her thumb. A sigh escaped her lips, and she saw the way he observed her features so delicately.

Slowly, he lifted one hand, and he pushed back a strand of hair from her face.

"I’ve got you," he smiled. "I’ll always be okay."

Her heartbeats were slow but rich, just like a soothing lullaby—

"GUYS—"

Donghyuck burst into the room, but halted at the scene. Jeno scrambled to stand up; Ru fixed her hair as she sat up straight on the edge of the bed.

The boy by the door scowled. "Jesus, get a room, will you?"

"What?" Jeno enunciated, lips jutted in annoyance.

Donghyuck was quick to forget what he literally just saw; he began jumping in his spot, right as Renjun and Jaemin came into view with thick blankets in their hands.

Jaemin lifted the cloth for the rest to see. "They didn’t have mattresses, but they had these—"

"—forget about the mattresses, they have a pool!"

At that moment Ru swore she saw the inner child take over the boys in the room. Jeno tilted his head, his famous little pout forming.

"A pool?"

Donghyuck threw a fist in the air animatedly— "hell yeah!"

"Huh," Renjun muttered off-handedly as he walked towards the bed to drop the blankets in his hands. "Didn’t think they’d have a pool in this shitty place."

"Well, come on!" Donghyuck practically screamed— "let’s go!"

Jaemin gave the ecstatic boy a skeptical look— "what, right now?"

"Yes, when else??"

"Uh, when we’ve gotten some sleep and I don’t know—" Jaemin craned his neck forward sarcastically— "not smell like hours of train?"

Donghyuck tsked— "maybe you smell like train, but I smell like an adveeeenture!"

Before any of the other boys could react, Donghyuck reached forward and grabbed Ru’s hands with a pleading look— "come ooon, at least check out the pool?"

She really didn’t know what came over this boy. "Uh, yeah, sure Hyuck—"

He tugged her with such a force that sent her launching before him; she almost tripped over her own feet, stumbling out of the hotel room after the excited boy. It was admirable, really, the energy this boy had. She could hear the other boys mutter little words of exasperation behind her, but they still followed anyway.

Donghyuck led her back in the direction they came from, although instead of going left where the lobby was, he made a beeline for the opening on their right which led them to an opening.

The motel buildings surrounded the outdoor space like four walls, doors lining up its facade three stories up. In the middle was a rectangular pool, its gleaming, neon blue vibe calling them closer in its serene ambience.

The boy in front of her wasted no time running towards the pool, still in his t-shirt and shorts. He jumped into the water, screaming— "CANON BALL!"— and leaving a ginormous splash in his wake.

His loud giggles echoed into the night, and she could hear everything clearly— the ripples of the clear, chlorine-scented water, the amused ‘ooh’s from the boys behind her, the gurgling of the swimming pool filter, a distant buzzing she couldn’t place.

A small gust of wind blew past her as Jeno and Renjun ran into the water. They let out blissful screams as they joined Donghyuck with a carefree smile on their faces. Jaemin walked by the water, feeling his feet on the water calmly.

He turned around and gave her a gleaming look. "You coming?"

A smile formed on her face.

⭒⭒⭒

"How’d you get this one?"

Renjun lowered the neckline of his wet t-shirt to fully expose the skin on his shoulder blade. He leaned against the pool ladder calmly as he shrugged— "you know, I don’t actually remember."

"What? How could you not remember that giant scar?" Ru bobbed in the water and leaned forward to squint at the diagonal pigment.

The group had been chilling in the pool for almost an hour now— god knows what time it was. Of course, at first the boys were busy cannon-balling into the pool and trying to drown each other (except for Jaemin, who only sat on the side of the pool with his legs dipped in). Ru wasn’t safe either— Donghyuck kept tugging her legs from under the pool; she couldn’t walk two steps without getting a heart attack from the boy.

It was only when Jeno was rough-housing Renjun, did she spot the jagged scar on Jeno’s lower back where his shirt had floated up. One thing led to another, and it turned out that the boys had a lot of scars to show for.

"It gets hard to keep count after a while." Jaemin commented, while Ru observed a scar on the back of his upper calf under the water.

Donghyuck floated her way, his mouth blowing bubbles on the surface of the water while the rest of his body was submerged. He stood up next to her, showing his pinky— "look at my pinky, it’s kinda bent! And Renjun’s ankle clicks every time he rotates it."

"Just how many fights have you guys gotten into??"

Donghyuck sighed in his place. She watched as he stood up from his bent position, suddenly towering over her. He shook his head, almost like he was disappointed she had asked. He draped his arm over her shoulder as he began what she could assume was some sort of weird rant. "Alright, Ru, come here—" he bent down and pulled her in until their heads were practically touching— "look, you see that boy over there?"

Jeno was next to Jaemin by the side of the pool, eyebrows raised skeptically at Donghyuck.

Donghyuck nodded in a know-it-all manner. "Yeah, that’s right, your lovely boyfriend—" the boy wiggled his pointer finger in Jeno’s direction— "don’t be fooled by his eye-smile and shoulder-raising giggles or whatever."

Jeno looked incredulous; he was about to protest but Donghyuck interrupted him.

"He’s not a good boy. You know, I think he probably has the most scars out of all of us—"

Jeno swung his legs in the water, splashing Donghyuck (and a little bit of Ru) with a sour face.

"At least I don’t have a scar on my ass—"

"—OI!" Donghyuck gasped indignantly; he let go of Ru to splash Jeno— "it was a secret, you dick."

The group burst into laughter; Jeno stifled his laughter as he blocked the angry boy’s attacks. Perhaps he liked riling Donghyuck up, as he continued. "And you didn’t even get it from a fight."

By now, Donghyuck was sporting a serious pout; he looked like an angry little bear, if Ru had to describe it. Splashes were exchanged, getting more aggressive by the second. Ru couldn’t help but laugh, seeing Jaemin get caught in the crossfires— he was not having it.

"Alright, stop splashing," Jaemin groaned as he stood up. He wrung the edge of his soaked shirt and shook the droplets out of his hair— "I’m gonna go get some snacks from the vending machine."

"Oh yeah!" Renjun lit up, turning to get out of the water, "I want something too."

Ru wasn’t hungry, so she stayed in place and watched as her soulmate got up as well. Just as she was thinking how she wanted to see his smile, the boy turned around to look down at her.

She instantly lit up, and it seemed her expression caught him off guard. His eyes brightened into crescents as he admired her for a second.

"Do you want anything?" He asked, barely audible.

With her lips curved into a tiny smile, she shook her head 'no'. Jeno raised his eyebrows and was about to say something, but Ru never got to hear it; Donghyuck splashed her suddenly with such great force she almost choked—

"I DO!" Donghyuck raised his hand like a little child.

Jeno scrunched his nose in disgust. After a moment’s hesitation, he held out his hand at the boy in the pool— "money."

"My wallet—" Donghyuck pointed at the pool chair.

Jeno complied, walking over to pick up the worn-out brown wallet. Instead of handing it to its owner though, Jeno started combing through its contents with a little snicker, to which Donghyuck whined, "OI, privacy!!"

Jeno merely chuckled, taking some cash from the wallet before tossing it at the boy. He caught it expertly, opening its contents as the rest of the boys walked around the corner and out of sight. Ru let her body float closer to the edge, her legs guiding her weight as she crossed her arms over the side of the pool.

Next to her, Donghyuck was busy fumbling with his wallet. That was when Ru noticed the tiny, worn-out photograph wedged in there with his crumpled money and discount cards. She instinctively leaned closer, squinting her eyes until it registered to her what she was seeing.

A little pout formed on her face— "aaaw," she cooed, "is that your baby picture?"

"Huh?" Donghyuck looked up at her before looking back down at his wallet. "Oh, no—" he dug out the wrinkled image— "it’s my little sister."

Oh.

An icy sensation spread throughout her chest; she blinked uncomfortably, hardly looking at the boy. God, why did she have to be so nosy? She finally glanced at him, spluttering— "right, I’m sorry, I totally forgot—"

"Wait, why are you sorry?"

Donghyuck’s eyebrows were raised skeptically. He showed no signs of awkwardness or tension, just pure curiosity. His child-like expression brought her back, and she let out a quiet sigh of relief. "I, uh—" she chuckled mindlessly— "yeah, I don’t know."

"Wanna see?"

He shoved the picture in her direction. She smiled reluctantly, taking the worn-out photograph in her hands as she held it up, just enough for the dim lighting to shine on it. Donghyuck scooted closer next to her, looking at the picture with her.

"Lee Bobae," he introduced to Ru.

Just like that, a smile grew on Ru’s face. She caressed the picture in between her fingers, admiring the adorable little baby in the picture— she had sparkly eyes, the tiniest round nose and thin, curly tufts of chocolate hair.

"Look at her chubby little cheeks!" Ru gasped, "I could just squish them forever…"

Donghyuck laughed at her reaction, nodding along. "She’s twelve this year."

Ru looked up at the boy in shock— "twelve?"

He nodded, with that they-grow-up-so-fast type of look she never thought she’d even see on a boy like him.

"Wow…" She shook her head as she stared at the picture. "Not so little anymore."

"But she’s doing well," he affirmed; he took the picture slowly from Ru, grasping it with both his hands. "I can feel it."

"She gets good grades, eats her vegetables. Probably has a lot of friends, and I bet they all line up to hang with this chubby little girl—" he giggled, almost to himself— "who wouldn’t, eh? And during summers, she’d go to Jeju Island with her parents because you can just tell she loves the ocean."

His eyes strayed from the picture and somewhere in the distance.

"And best of all, she doesn’t ever wonder how her brother’s doing, because she doesn’t know he exists."

God…

She didn’t know what to say. What could she say? That look on his face— nothing could change that.

He stuffed the picture back into the wallet, throwing the leathery item back on the pool chair, which landed on the edge, close to falling off.

There it was again, the distant buzzing the couldn’t quite place. She blinked, watching the unusually quiet boy.

"I think she’d like it if you existed."

The boy turned to face her and paused. "You think so?"

She didn’t know why they were whispering; she cleared her throat, nodding a little more enthusiastically than she probably should’ve— "well, yeah! Who wouldn’t want an adorable, cuddly bear as a brother?"

"Shut up—" Donghyuck rolled his eyes, shoving her playfully as ripples formed around them.

Their giggly little laughs echoed around the empty swimming pool, the neon of the motel sign barely providing them with light in the gloomy midnight. She almost forgot what they were just talking about, with the way he gave her his defying, ‘want-a-piece-of-me?’ expression as he splashed her with more water.

But the laughter died down eventually, and Donghyuck sighed in between fading snickers.

"Nah, but it’s better this way."

He nodded— for himself more than anyone else. "She’s doing too well for me to ruin it all."

He had convinced himself of it; it’s written in the finality of his tone. And as much as Ru wanted to hug him, or smack him in the back of the head— anything just to knock some sense into him— she couldn’t bring herself to oppose him.

Something told her that sentence alone might’ve been the only thing keeping him grounded.

And maybe it wasn't just him. They all see the vase, in its fractured state. It had been like this for a while now, and she knew all too well the way they tiptoed around it, admiring it like it never had to fall apart.

Someday, she thought. Someday, just like something scripted, the shards will crumble and fall down their bare feet until it hurts to lift them at all.

But funnily enough, these days it felt like someday had forgotten all about the five best friends.

So for now, she tiptoed.

"Are you sure?" She asked him.

He swung his head lazily in her direction, flashing her his big bear smile— "nope."

________________________________________

chapter thirty-three.

The chlorine-infused body of water wrapped her skin like a blanket; they've been eating snacks from the vending machine for God-knows-how-long now. Donghyuck and Renjun left earlier to use the shower, leaving Ru, Jaemin and Jeno in the silence of the night. She wallowed lazily and plopped a single piece of gummy bear in her mouth. "Mm—" she reached into the packet to pick out more, before handing them to Jeno— "red or green?"

Jeno rested his arm against the edge of the pool, the other snaking itself subtly against her waist. "Red."

She complied, bringing the candy to his mouth; he gladly swallowed the bear, smiling at her like a child. She then turned to Jaemin who was sitting on the pool chair.

"Ready?"

She stifled a laugh as he nodded enthusiastically. The boy opened his mouth dramatically as Ru positioned her arm. Her lips were pursed as she aimed for his mouth. She pulled her arm back before tossing the gummy bear and— it missed.

She snorted another laugh as the gummy bear hit him in the eye instead, bouncing down onto the slightly damp poolside floor. The trio were too drained to laugh, so they just snickered silently and watched the sad little gummy on the floor— what a waste.

"Jaemin!"

The three of them looked up in the direction of the voice; Renjun was peeking from the corner leading to their room, beckoning Jaemin to come up. "My turn to shower." Jaemin stood up from his chair, but not before looking at the two of them with a stern look— "don't stay out too long, okay? You'll get a cold."

Ru bobbed her head, scrunching her nose at the boy— "okay, mom."

Jaemin pursed his lips, giving Jeno an exaggerated control-your-woman look before walking back with his hands in his pockets. Jeno tightened his grip on her, his low chuckle drowned by the faint gurgling of the filter somewhere in the pool.

Ru looked up to meet his eyes. As she did so, it was like the rush of water got louder. Or maybe it was the blood rushing past her ears. She could never seem to get used to this— looking into his eyes, keeping them steady as he looked back into hers.

He observed her, and he knew. He couldn't help the little smirk that formed on his lips, watching as her eyes slanted in nervousness. There was something about her eyes— they glistened in its darkness.

"Do you know—" Ru cleared her throat, dropping her gaze so they fell down to his collarbone— "about the soulmates that can breathe underwater?"

"Where'd you hear that from?"

She chuckled timidly, looking down further at her intertwined fingers— "I don't remember."

Fuck, she's so cute.

He must've been grinning like an idiot; Ru looked up and squinted her eyes. "It's true! It's their astral capability. Apparently they Binded when they kissed underwater—" her right palm landed against his abdomen, clinging onto the damp fabric of his t-shirt—"isn't that cool?"

He'd be lying if he said it didn't make his breath hitch just a little bit. He subconsciously leaned against her palm, just to feel the heat radiate from the palm of her hand.

Just to tease her, he tilted his head— "what, breathing underwater—" he raised an eyebrow with a smirk— "or kissing underwater?"

The offended look on her face was everything— she blushed and looked away, scrunching her nose the way she did whenever she was frustrated, particularly with him. Then her eyes started flickering, shortly before she started to scrunch her nose like a reindeer. He was a few milliseconds away from making fun of her for it, but then he felt a subtle drop of water fall on his cheek. Then another one.

Before he knew it, he felt dozens of tiny, cold droplets fall all over them. They both looked up, watching the droplets land on them from a place unknown.

Jeno took her hand, gesturing at the hotel room. "Come on, let's get back inside."

He looked down at her, only to see her pouting at him. She shook her head, stubborn like a toddler. "I don't wanna."

Jeno gave her an incredulous look; he was mildly amused by her response. "You wanna get sick?" He raised his eyebrows— "I'm not taking care of you if you get sick."

"Yeah?" Ru squinted, looking forward with a little bit of attitude. "You're gonna leave your sick girlfriend all alone?"

Why'd she say it like that? He scrunched his eyebrows, a weird tingle running down the course of his spine. The rain began to pick up its strength, falling down on them like fat sprinkles. He didn't know what to feel about her mockery. He tried to think, but the harsh impact of rain on the pool around him was proving to be disruptive.

Soon enough, even the thrashing noise was too much for Ru. Her eyes were now barely opened from the way the rainwater rushed down her face. She could almost say it reminded her of one other pivotal moment in their relationship, but perhaps the noise was a little too loud for her to actually care.

"Alright, yeah," Ru nodded through the harsh downpour, "we should really get out of the pool."

She took his hand to lead him out of the pool, but then he grabbed her upper arm and called out, "wait."

He pulled her back so that the space between them was scarce. She looked at his glistening eyes, and even the increasingly deafening noise couldn't drown out the thumping she felt against her ribcage. Through her blurry vision, she watched the boy in front of her smirk as he leaned down—

"I don't wanna."

Damp, cherry lips connected with her quivering lips— her heart erupted into flames, keeping her warm in the cold, rainy night. He grabbed her, and she could feel him pull her in, destroying whatever space was left between them.

White noise, hard breaths and euphoria— out-of-focus like the rain that continued to thrash into the pool around them. She felt herself shivering, but she didn't care. All logic, all basic regards were dissipated as she slid her arms around his neck, just because she wanted everything of him.

Her eyes fluttered, but it was hard to open them without the rainwater getting in her eyes. It stung to look at him; she could only get a glimpse of his clumpy eyelashes before she had to close her eyes again.

He's here, was all she could register in her head. He's here, and he's mine.

She was running out of breath— she clung onto his shirt unconsciously, almost like she believed it could give her a few more seconds to taste his lips before she ran out of oxygen. She was beginning to feel dizzy when she felt her lips go cold; he pulled away first, chest heaving as he looked down at her.

She smiled blissfully, admiring the way his eyes were squinted— they must sting too. The downpour created a mist, making it hard to see beyond an arm's length. All she saw was him, and the water around them that danced like they were boiling, on fire. The rain was deafening, invading even her thoughts.

Ru cleared her throat, and raised her voice. "It's getting loud!"

A genuine smile spread across his lips as he ignored her, pulling her in. She barely got in a breath before he had her in his grip again, lips in symphonic harmony. The weight of his arm pulled her— guided her— slowly down the water.

They were sinking, slowly but surely. The pressure of the body of water finally reached her chest. She had closed her eyes by now, knowing it was useless to have them opened, but even then she could feel Jeno smile into the kiss, biting gently on her lower lip before the surface of the water finally reached their mouths.

One second the rain was abundant, but the next second it was gone.

Just like that, they were submerged, the downpour muted by the cold water that surrounded them, pushing them to each other. She didn't know how, but she could feel him better underwater.

She could hear her thoughts now, and they were just as noisy as the rain. She wanted to scream, because she didn't know how it was possible to care about someone the way she did this boy. She moved her fingers to cup his cheeks; she noticed the way they tensed from her touch.

She couldn't help but smile further— it was nice to know she had the same effect on him.

The muted pressure was building in her ears, water leaking into the kiss slowly, with the sole intention of drowning the two. She loved the feeling, the rush of being at the edge of unconsciousness— her lungs were burning from the lack of air.

She deepened the kiss one last time before her strength gave out; she pulled them both out of the water, simultaneously breaking the kiss.

The two were struggling for air, coughing out water in between muted giggles.

"You're crazy!" Ru yelled with the biggest grin on her face. He only laughed in response, his crescent eyes glistening just for her.

All of a sudden, they could hear Renjun scream from a distance— "do you guys want to get struck by lightning or what?? Get inside!"

⭒⭒⭒

Ru was settled comfortably on the floor, on top of the make-shift beds the boys had conjured up from the hotel blankets. The room was dark, except for the dull bedside lamp and the colors that bounced off of the TV. To be honest, Ru wasn't really a big fan of horror, but it seemed Jeno and Renjun were. On her right, Jeno sat with his legs outstretched, leaning against the single bed that Donghyuck was on; his eyes were glued to the squared box elevated in front of them. On her left, Renjun sat cross-legged, leaning forward a little more each time she glanced.

Her arms were crossed, her eyes positioned just below the screen so that she didn't have to stare at the scene directly. Her ears were peeled, wary of the silence and jumpy from the loud sound effects. God, it felt like they had been watching this for hours now.

She cleared her throat, looking curiously to her right. "When's this movie gonna end?" Ru whispered.

The boy hummed a little, shifting his hand so that they were now resting on her thigh. "Uuuh..."

Her eyebrows furrowed in disbelief. Did he even register what she had said—

A shrill scream exploded from the TV set, interrupting her thoughts as she let out an off-guard yelp; Jeno's hand was quickly flung away from her in shock.

The boy finally tore his gaze from the TV, giving her a confused look. "Are you scared?"

With her heart still scattered all over her insides, she gave him a bewildered look— "well, kinda!"

Jeno broke into a sympathetic, but slightly amused laugh; he immediately wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer with incredible ease. She glanced up at him with a little tsk— she should know by now what an oblivious boy she had.

She could hear him mutter a little sorry as she watched the tiny slit of light coming from underneath the bathroom door enlarge; Jaemin stepped out of the bathroom, ruffling his slightly damp hair as he approached the bed.

Even though Ru insisted that she could sleep on the blanket on the floor, or share the bed with someone, the boys (one boy in particular) were adamant that she got one bed all to herself. It was obvious that for the boys, sharing the twin-sized bed would be... challenging. But the boys decided it was better that two of them share the bed so that only two others would have to sleep on the floor.

"Yo, wake up," Ru could hear Jaemin grumble behind her. She looked behind her to see Jaemin towering over a knocked-out Donghyuck.

His leg was dangling off of one side of the bed, his body blissfully taking up the entirety of the bed. She stared, stifling a laugh as Jaemin sighed and began shaking the snoring boy.

Nothing.

The rest began to look back as well, the scene turning into a spectacle that would never have been entertaining if they weren't in the wee hours of the morning.

"Give up, Jaem," Jeno interrupted, an almost taunting smile gracing his lips.

Ru shifted under Jeno's arms, giving Jaemin a reassuring smile. "You can have my bed if you want."

"Nah, it's fine—" Jaemin took up the space next to Jeno, patting the boy's leg— "I'll just sleep next to you."

They all snuggled lazily in front of the TV, watching the final parts of the horror film— at least that's what Ru presumed; the main character's bloodied, face coated with sweat and tears as they approach an ominous location where she could only assume was where the 'boss battle' was going to take place. All horror-type films have final boss battles, right?

Ru was right; after a few more unnecessary but fitting jumps scares and one gaunt woman being banished back to Hell, the screen went blank. She slowly un-squinted her eyes as the TV began to flash contrasting scenes of bright and jubilant advertisements.

She took a deep breath, internally scoffing at the TV— such a terrible transition from what could be her worst nightmares, to a scene of a girl skipping blissfully through a meadow (even though she knew no woman on Earth ever smiled like that on her period).

"Oh, look—" Jeno pointed casually at the top right corner of the screen— "A Tale of Two Sisters plays next."

Another horror? She was about to protest when Renjun stood up from his spot, reaching for the remote. "Nope—" he clicked the off button, shutting down the TV— "we need to sleep now."

For some reason, this prompted everyone to look at Donghyuck again, who was still sprawled across the bed. Jeno huffed in exasperation, standing up to adjust the blankets they had arranged. "I'll sleep between the beds so you guys have more space," he said.

The other boys nodded mindlessly, letting Jeno drag one part of the make-shift bed they had made to put in between the twin beds.

"Are you sure you don't want to sleep on the bed?" Ru asked once more.

Jeno straightened his blanket before looking up at her with a smile. "I'm fine, you go ahead."

She whispered a little 'okay' and crawled lazily into bed. She snuggled under the covers, reaching for the bedside lamp before whispering to the rest of the boys— "goodnight, you guys."

A soft chorus of 'goodnight's can be heard from somewhere on the ground as the remaining light vanished with the rest of the night. She wanted to look at Jeno one more time, but it was too pitched-black for her to even see her own toes. So, she sighed and nestled her head on her pillow, ready to fall asleep.

Except it was impossible.

There she was, almost an hour in, ready for the drowsiness to take over her. But there was something about the way the bed creaks every so often, or the way the door handle would visibly jiggle just when she thought she was imagining things.

Was she imagining things?

Of course, she couldn't actually see the door handle properly— it was more like barely the silhouette of what she was 80% sure was the doorknob?

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. It's all in your head, Ru, she mumbled to herself.

Of course she would be feeling this way— that's what horror movies do. All she needed to do was remind herself that it was just a movie, and her imagination is just stimulated with new ideas, is all. Right beside her on the ground was her soulmate, and three other boys who were sound asleep, because they're not pussies—

A sudden gurgling sound from the bathroom sent a cold shiver down her spine, and she bolted upright, the air flushed out of her lungs.

What. Was. That?

Just the plumbing, Ru, she scolded herself.

Since when did plumbing sound so... sinister? She tried to will herself into lying back down, but that was another war on its own. Almost like the demons in the room listened, the creaks faded away, leaving her with an eerie ringing in her ears.

Her eyes instinctively glided to her right. Even though she couldn't see him, she could feel him, ever-so-slightly. She wanted that to be enough, but to reiterate: she hated horror movies. She took one more filling breath, chewing at the bottom of her lips.

She leaned over the bed, hovering slightly over what would be Jeno, if she could see properly.

No, you'll wake him, she shook her head dismissively. She retreated from the empty space beside her, shrinking further into the flimsy fabric of her blanket. Things must be hard for him now, and the last thing she wanted was to disturb his good night's rest.

She dropped her head on top of the less-than-soft pillow. Her limbs were rigid, muscles tensed like it was waiting for any excuse for her to bolt out of the room and away from whatever ghost was lurking in the bathtub, or from the lady that might just crawl out of the stagnant TV.

Even in the tension, she felt her right hand slowly sliding further towards the end of the bed, silently until she felt her fingers fall down its side. Little by little, her hand started to stretch outwards until she could no longer stretch them. They were dangling hopelessly now, swinging lightly in hopes of finding another hand resting on the floor beside her.

It drove her crazy how much she always looked for him. Even when she had forced her body not to call out to him, her hands still found its way to seek his comfort, his presence. Ru from a few months would be gasping in shock, seeing her now. What happened to being alone, she truly wondered.

She blinked back her drowsiness, exhaling a tired breath. He's right next to you, Ru, you're alright... Just close your eyes and get this over with—

But before she could follow through with her thoughts, she felt an arm wrap over her waist, another gripping her dangling hand; her heart jolted awake inside her, prompting her to gasp in pure terror—

"—ssh, shh, it's me."

She heard his low voice against her ear, and she let out a sigh of relief.

She was on top of him now, eyes closed as his arm gripped her tightly. He shifted to his side, letting her down onto the space beside him with ease. Ru could still feel the aftermath of the shock coursing through her body with each beat of her heart.

"Why the hell did you do that??" She whispered-screamed, arms crossed over her chest as a weird show of protest— as if she wasn't just hoping for this mere seconds ago.

"Next time, remind me that you can't handle any sort of horror movies, whatsoever."

She huffed at his matter-of-fact tone. "You know how scary that was?"

Ru could feel a puff of air fan past her ear as he scoffed— "oh, you think hovering over me like that didn't scare the shit out of me?"

Oh god, he saw that...? She fought the urge to groan, eyes still shut because she knew opening them wouldn't make much of a difference.

"Did I wake you up?" She whispered instead.

"I wasn't asleep," he said before pausing. "You didn't sound like you were comfortable— you kept shifting in your sleep."

She scrunched her nose, not knowing whether to feel comforted or embarrassed.

In the meantime, he cleared his throat. "I was waiting for you to come wake me up."

Alright, she was definitely embarrassed now. She pressed her palms against her face, mumbling into her hands, "why didn't you come get me?"

"Well, I'm comfortable."

She nudged him with her elbow, causing him to laugh silently— she didn't have to see him to know the shape his eyes would be making right now. His laughter dissipated, and he cleared his throat awkwardly— "and I don't wanna come to you unless, you know, you really wanted me to."

Ru couldn't contain the little snicker that escaped as she lowered the palm away from her face and between her chest— "Well, I am your girlfriend."

"Technically, you're not."

Ru didn't realize, but the muscles on her face went limp as her smile faded. Her eyes fluttered as she focused all her energy on trying to observe his facial expression. The silence thickened, her only view of him being shadows and silhouettes.

"You're my soulmate," he finally added.

She felt air fill up her lungs again, her eyes rolling on its own.

Seriously?

She shoved him harder with her palms this time, but he caught her wrists with her hand, snickering as he held them in place with no effort whatsoever. "I know that basically implies you're my girlfriend too—" he whispered, still trying to stop a struggling Ru— "but I wish I did it right."

She stopped moving, eyebrows furrowed as her soulmate managed to confuse her for the second time that night.

"Did what right?"

She really didn't think he'd ignore her question, but the silence rang in her ears as she managed to spot the curve of his lips. He sat up, prompting Ru to sit up as well. She watched his form carefully, not a single clue running through her head as he scooted himself closer to the night stand now behind them.

Only when his hands reached out to something on the night table, did she finally make out his fingers wrapping around the flower vase, dragging it closer to him before finally taking the single wild daisy out.

He dusted the top of the flower before scooting back closer to Ru. Maybe her eyes had finally adjusted to the dark, because she now saw his features clearly— he had his gaze on her, eyes round and innocent as he held the plastic flower in between the two of them.

"Song Ru—" he cleared his throat, a subtle smile on his lips— "will you be my girlfriend?"

The muscles on her face had a mind of its own; her lips were curved up, all the air she kept captive in her lungs. Yes, she thought. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes—

"Are you smiling?"

His question stirred her out of her little daydream, and she started to giggle. A course of energy was sent jolting through her body, and she began nodding exaggeratedly. Was this what it felt like to be confessed to? Her belly felt warm and full, like she just had a four-course meal. Words were just words, through which she couldn't quite express herself.

"Ru?" Jeno's whisper called out to her, a hint of nerves present in his tone.

Okay, maybe she should at least say something, for his sake. Her laughter deepened as she took the flower from his hands, enveloping him in an elated hug; she pulled him down to the ground, whispering in his ear, "thank you."

She could feel the muscles on his shoulders relax as he settled into the hug. "Don't thank me too much, the flower's really dusty," he mumbled in a dark, almost drowsy tone.

"No—" she pulled away from the hug so they could face each other— "for being in my life."

For the first time that entire night, the crappy motel felt like home, like a safe space from all the monsters and devils that lurked on the other side of the door. As Jeno leaned in, she finally knew it wasn't the room at all— it was this boy in front of her. He placed a small peck on her forehead, his warm lips fueling the heat in her entire body.

She felt his chest rise up, right before he mumbled, "not like I had much of a choice though, huh?"

Aaand there it goes. The moment, gone. She sighed, pursing her lips as she smacked him playfully in the head with the daisy.

"Ow."

________________________________________

chapter thirty-four.

There were mornings where Ru would wake up to the crisp air in her bedroom, the fresh breeze blowing in from the window she always forgot to shut from the night before. It was one way to start the day— legs always hesitant to leave the comforts of her blanket, but when they did, shivers turned into warmth, and endings turned into beginnings.

Then there was this: limbs stretching over a thin layer of blanket spread on the floor, cramped between two twin beds. A slight sore in her back greeted her awake as she took in a breath of stale, motel room air. For a moment, she almost forgot where she was until she felt a subtle fan of warm air blow beside her ear.

She looked to her side to see Jeno asleep, head laid peacefully on the clumped-up part of the blanket— she didn’t know how he slept so soundly without a proper pillow. Slowly, she sat upright, looking ahead to see the rest of the boys laying side-by-side on the floor.

When did Haechan get there?

Just to confirm, she peeked over at the two twin beds— empty.What a waste of perfectly good beds.But then again, she was the one who had left the comforts of her motel bed first. She got up from the floor, careful not to nudge Jeno as she tiptoed her past the boys, towards the bathroom.

She tried not to laugh as she passed the scene; Renjun, sandwiched in the middle while Jaemin had him in a tight hug, Donghyuck sleeping in the opposite direction, snuggling into Renjun’s leg like it were a stuffed doll— somehow, he looked more comfortable now than he did when he was asleep on the twin bed.

Ru shuffled quickly into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She tried her best to be as quiet as she could, but by the time she was washing her face, she could hear slight shuffling from outside. Even then, she still turned the knob carefully. She stepped out of the bathroom to find the boys awake— barely, though.

It was like they were awake physically, but mentally… not quite. Jeno sat against the bed, head leaning on it for support; Renjun was staring at his backpack like he wasn’t quite sure what it was. Donghyuck was still knocked out, legs draped over a slightly irritated-looking Jaemin.

"Well good morning, you guys," Ru greeted with a little smile.

Renjun merely looked at her and grunted. She never pegged the boys as morning people, but this— this was something else.

It took about another twenty minutes before the boys finally got off the floor and got ready. It was really funny watching them get ready; mild grunt here and there as the boys tried their best not to bump into each other while they dragged themselves groggily across the limited space.

The getting-ready part didn’t take as long as Ru had expected. By a quarter to eleven, they were out of the motel room and down the worn-out road. They took a quick stop at a local convenience store for an easy late-breakfast, before talking the local bus further down.

It was a pretty quick trip— ten minutes, then off the bus. They relied on the map Renjun had opened on his phone the rest of the way, slipping through neighbourhoods and semi-deserted roads. The row houses were starting to look awfully similar when Renjun finally stopped in his tracks.

"It should… be…" his voice trailed off as he zoomed into the screen, then looked up at the outdated five-story building in front of them… "this one."

It looked just like any other housing, albeit a little tattered.

"Come on—" Renjun gestured, walking up the steps. "Room 201… should be the first room up the stairs."

The rest followed the boy up, their footsteps echoing in the low-ceiling space. There were at least six units on one floor; they crowded the space in front of the door, Renjun up front. The smaller boy adjusted his posture, clearing his throat as if to stall.

Ru didn’t realise it until then, but she was holding her breath— she had never met Renjun’s mom before.

By now, Donghyuck would’ve probably said ‘Well? Go on and knock!’, but the group was silent. Renjun finally balled his hand into a fist, knocking against the door. The five of them had their ears peeled, waiting for some sort of noise beyond the door, but they heard nothing.

Once again, the group was left in silence. Jeno glanced at a slightly apprehensive-looking Ru, before he suggested, "maybe she’s not home—"

His words were interrupted by a swift swing of the front door. The door was now wide open, and before them stood, who Ru assumed was Renjun’s mom: a big and tall lady, hair up like a nest of a bun, nightgown crumpled and grown. But it wasn’t her less-than-presentable outfit that shocked Ru— it was her disgruntled expression.

Her eyebrows only furrowed more when she finally registered the scene in front of her.

"Yes?" She enunciated.

Something felt off…

"Excuse me, ma’am," Renjun spoke softly, bowing slightly before he continued, "does Huang Jianyu live here?"

Ah, so that’s not his mother.

At the mention of Renjun’s mother’s name, the lady laughed lifelessly, almost sardonically. "You must be her son, right?" Without waiting for a response, she turned around and retreated into her apartment. The kids stood awkwardly, not sure if they were supposed to follow her.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" The lady suddenly called out from inside, "get in!"

"Oh—" Renjun cleared his throat uncomfortably, giving the rest of the boys a weird look before heading in. The rest followed suit, crowding into the small space. The apartment was less than ideal— scattered boxes of miscellaneous items on the floor, what could be twenty bottles of half-used condiments on the dining table right next to a tattered-looking sofa, where the lady sat with surprising comfort.

"So—" the lady leaned against her sofa, outstretching her arms to her sides, on top of the sofa— "she finally sent someone for her things?"

The question prompted a confusedhuh? from Renjun. Ru took a quick glance at the three doors behind her— one was closed, the other had a bathroom sign on it, and the last one was wide open. Inside the room were more boxes and a single blanket spread out on the floor.

The lady raised her eyebrows— "youareher son, right?"

"Well, yeah—" Renjun glanced at Jeno, before turning back to the lady— "but we lost contact for a while."

Ru didn’t even notice that Jeno’s hand was on the small of her back until he let go. "What do you mean, she sent someone for her things?"

The lady turned to Jeno, pausing as she tucked her bushy baby hairs behind her ear. "We’re roommates— if that wasn’t obvious enough— but a week ago she left for work and she didn’t come back."

Donghyuck shifted in his place, eyes lingering on a tense Renjun.

"Even went to the club where the damn girl worked, just for them to tell me she quit? Unbelievable, that one," she tsked in distaste. "Then a few days later I get a letter slipped under my door, and it’s from her!"

The lady stood up abruptly, walking straight at the group; they parted to let her through and watched curiously as she disappeared into the room Ru had seen a glimpse of earlier. No later than a few seconds later, she came out with an opened envelope in her hand.

She handed it to Jeno before sitting back down on the sofa with an exasperated sigh. "’Says she’s leaving and not to look for her, says I could have all her things—" she scoffed— "as if I want this junk!"

For some reason, she glared at Renjun and mumbled, "now I’m left moving all these boxes out to have ‘em donated. Can you believe it? Me, donating…"

Jeno ripped the envelope open, scanning through the letter with Ru and the others reading over his shoulders. Everything the lady mentioned was in the letter, clear as day. This left Renjun staring off into the distance.

Jeno looked up. "Where did you say she worked?"

The lady blinked slowly, a crooked smile creeping on her lips. "I didn’t."

Was she being serious?

Jaemin cleared his throat, stepping closer to Jeno without breaking eye contact with the lady. "What he meant to say was, can you tell us where his mom works?"

"Well…" the woman sighed, shaking her head in a petty, conspiring manner. "I would, but I’ve got a lot of things to do, eh? Moving all these boxes, let me tell you, tough for a tired woman like me."

Donghyuck’s eyebrows furrowed— "can’t you just tell us real quick before you start?"

Jaemin sighed and glared at Donghyuck, who only responded with a confused look—"what?"— before smiling tensely at the lady.

"What about we help you move these boxes, and you could tell us where she worked?" Jaemin suggested kindly, although Ru could hear the slight resentment in his voice.

Jaemin’s suggestion sure did put a smile on the lady’s face; she slapped her thigh with a satisfied grin— "well, that’s settled, then!"

She stood up with a newfound spring, pointing at the boxes scattered on the ground of the living room— "why don’t you boys start by carrying these boxes outside to the curb, you guys are strong enough, I’m sure." She continued to gesture at Ru, then at the messy room— "you can help me organise the room, just thinking of the mess gives me a headache…"

Ru followed the lady with timid footsteps, the boys behind her walking away to pick up boxes; she could hear Donghyuck mumble to Jaemin, "you justhadto offer…"

There were already a lot of things packed into boxes, but she didn’t realise the amount of things that weren’t. "Pass me that basket, girl," the woman commanded, a hasty tone threatening to spill from her voice.

Ru complied, picking up a basket from across the room; she could hear the front door open as the boys filed out of the apartment room.

"The pink paper bag, girl, quickly—" the lady snapped her fingers, prompting Ru to shuffle to another part of the room for the pink bag.

First, it was the pink bag, then a black plastic bag, then a pile of clothes under the desk. Forty-five minutes in, and the boys peeked in the room to tell them they were done moving the boxes. Maybe this lady had super persuasion skills, but moving the boxes wasn't the only chore they ended up doing that day.

Suddenly, Jeno and Jaemin were gone to go on a ‘quick’ grocery run; two hours in, as Ru was reorganising the bottles of bathroom products, she saw Renjun pass the bedroom with a broom in hand, followed by a sullen-looking Donghyuck wearing neon pink bathroom gloves.

"Careful, boy!" Ru heard the lady yell at Renjun.

How the hell did they end up here…

⭒⭒⭒

Streetlights lit the otherwise dark pavement in front of the building. The five of them stood, exhausted and hungry. Renjun had with him a medium-sized box of little things the lady insisted shouldn’t be donated ("Imagine donating this beautiful dress!"). Ru’s previously empty backpack was now filled to the brim with clothes the lady thought Ru should have because they were ‘too good to waste’— it really put in perspective what this lady thought about donating.

"Today’s a productive day, eh?" The lady chuckled, wrinkles in full display. "Three weeks of chores, all rolled into one!"

Ru smiled nervously; none of the boys had the energy to try and be polite— they were downright miserable. 

There was a little pause before the lady continued, "perhaps if you have time to run down to the—"

"—we really have to get going now, ma’am…" Renjun interjected before she could finish her sentence. 

For a moment, it looked like the lady was about to be offended that they refused to do what would be her fourth week of chores, but decided against it. "Well, alright then…" She held out her hand— "I’ll search up your mother’s part-time on Naver."

Renjun quickly reached into his pocket and handed her his phone. She quickly inputted the address before returning the phone. "I don’t know what you’re gonna find, they’ll probably tell you the same thing they told me— she’s gone with the wind, that one."

"Regardless," Ru replied, "thank you for the address."

It seemed the lady tried to nod, but only a grunt came out. "Off you go, then…"

The group bowed politely before walking away into the night, a certain weight now burdening their legs. There was an unspoken understanding between the five of them; none of them spoke until they rounded the dark, empty corner, almost like speaking would trigger the lady to chase after them with a plunger to do more chores— thank God she didn’t make Ru unclog the toilet. 

When the lady was out of sight, Donghyuck was the first to sigh in defeat— "was that slavery?" He turned to Jeno— "like, that had to be slavery, right??"

Despite how tired Jeno must’ve been, he let out a little chuckle. He put his arm around the exasperated Donghyuck— "what’s important is we’ve got the address."

Jaemin glanced at a tired Ru. "You sure don’t want one of us to carry that?" He asked, referring to her backpack. 

"Yeah, no, I’m good," Ru reassured. She let out a little huff, putting extra care into her steps as they began to move downhill. 

Renjun led the way, as usual, eyes glued into his phone for directions. "It’s a small bar— Joseon Night Bar. After the main street, we just have to walk straight for another ten minutes…" Renjun began calculating in his head. "When we reach A Twosome Place, turn right and walk for another three minutes."

The rest of them agreed unanimously and they continued walking. The fresh, night air might’ve done something to their moods, but soon enough the group seemed to have forgotten about their day’s labour and started talking about other things— like what they were going to eat for dinner, for starters. 

"So—" Jeno walked up to her and slipped his arm around her back— "Renjun’s mom’s roommate, huh?" 

For some reason, the statement sounded so bizarre when he said it out loud. She began laughing, a small gesture that found its way to mess with Jeno’s heart rate. He adjusted the arm he had on her back, pushing up on the heavy backpack to bear more weight off of her, but she didn’t notice as she continued, "she’s quite the woman, really…"

The two of them were silent the rest of the way, watching the trio in front of them bicker about little nothings. Jeno wasn’t one to talk much, so he felt right at home, doing nothing but listen. Honestly, his arm was starting to feel sore, but he didn’t mind at all— he felt so much calmer now than he did all day. 

Soon enough, they reached the cafe that Renjun had mentioned earlier, turning right like the map had instructed. Jeno spotted it first— a neon sign protruding from the side, bright enough for anyone passing by the alleyway to see. It was an underground bar, like most were in that area.

Jaemin turned to Jeno, a knowing look on his face. "You brought the ID?"

Only Ru seemed to be left out of the loop; she watched curiously as the rest of the boys reached for their pockets, pulling out baby blue cards. 

"Wait…" Ru gasped, looking at Jeno’s ID card, "you guys have fake IDs?"

Donghyuck raised his eyebrows— "I don’t know why you’re so surprised— "he waved the ID in front of her— "it’s like you don’t know us at all, Ru."

Ru rolled her eyes, turning to Renjun. "Well, I don’t have a fake ID."

"It’s okay, it’s probably safer if you stay outside anyway," Renjun shrugged, pocketing his wallet.

She watched Renjun pick up the box he had placed on the floor, handing it to her— "can you hold this while we go inside?"

She nodded instinctively, taking the load off of Renjun. For a second, the group was silent. "Well, go on then," she urged. 

"I should stay with Ru," Jeno suggested as he gestured at her. 

This only made her shake her head. "Go on in, I’ll be fine—" she waved her arms dismissively— "I promise I won’t wander off or anything."

Jeno clenched his jaws, glancing between the bar and Ru. "Hey—" he approached, tilting his head softly at her— "we’ll be in and out, ten minutes max. If anything happens—"

"—nothing’s gonna happen," Ru assured him with a soft tone. "I’m a big girl."

For some reason, it caused him to chuckle softly. "Yeah you are." He turned to the boys, tilting his head in a let’s-go motion before they all walked away and in through the open doors of the bar. 

Ru huffed a tired breath, dropping the box beside her again as she stood and observed. She didn’t get to fully process the little area they were in— a narrow and crooked road, lined with neon-decorated doors that lead to funky restaurants and underground bars. 

She pictured it in her head, the boys hanging out in a place like this, and she didn’t like how she could imagine it so clearly. Ru knew it made her sound like a wide-eyed twelve-year-old, but places like this just gave her the creeps. 

She scrunched her nose as a man in his twenties passed her, spitting on the ground with that loud pre-spit thing men always do— there’s no chance in hell the boys can ever turn out like that. Not like the unhygienic man, or the sullen-looking woman vaping as she scrolled through her phone mindlessly, or that other guy throwing his cigarette on the ground as he took a call. 

She watched him ruffle his bleach blond hair as he kept glancing furtively at her. Ru looked away immediately, hoping he didn’t notice her staring. 

What’s taking the boys so long?, she wondered. She peeked into the entrance of the bar, almost exaggerating the way she looked through; she wasn’t in any particular rush, but just wanted to look busy, as stupid as that sounded. 

Coincidentally, Renjun’s mildly irritated face showed up from inside the bar, the rest of the boys following suit. She took a few steps back to let the boys pass, noticing a security guard walking behind them, holding Haechan’s upper arm with force. 

"I’m not calling the cops, but you kids better get out of here before I change my mind—" the man harshly let go of Haechan’s arm with a stern glare, before stomping back into the bar and out of sight. 

Ru was about to question how they got caught, but she spotted a magenta-coloured leather purse that Jaemin was carrying and forgot all about her question. "...did you steal that bag?" Ru asked skeptically.

"No—" Jeno responded for Jaemin, albeit a little distracted. He pulled her arm, gesturing at the boys to start walking. "Let’s not stay here too long."

Ru didn’t even realise, but the alleyway had gotten significantly crowded since they got here; they had to swerve between people, fighting the traffic of people heading into the alleyway. They quickly got out, headed for the main street and back where they came from. 

When nobody bothered to circle back and answer her question, she asked again, "you didn’t get kicked out of there for stealing the bag, right?"

"Nah, that’s Renjun’s mom’s purse." Donghyuck replied nonchalantly, like it made sense. 

…so did they forget the woman that should’ve been attached to the purse? She was growing frustrated with their lack of straightforwardness when it came to answering her questions. Luckily, it was like Jeno had read her mind. "She left her purse a week ago and since the manager didn’t hear from her since, they assumed she quit."

Ru didn’t respond; her eyes immediately went to Renjun, who was a few steps ahead of them. All throughout the bus ride home, she couldn’t help but watch his defeated posture— he only looked out the window, deep in thought. 

For a moment, her eyes lingered on the bright purse on Jaemin’s lap. The boy had one hand on the zipper, tugging at it ever-so-slightly in a curious manner. 

"Jaemin," she whispered in his direction. 

She merely gestured for him to pass the bag to her, which he complied to. He passed her the bag from across the aisle of the bus. 

"What are you doing?" Jeno looked at her, intrigued. 

"Do you think she left this because she didn’t need to, or because she had to?" Ru only looked up at him after she had finished her question; she could see it in his dark eyes, the cogs turning in his head. 

An energised and otherwise alert Ru would never have done this, but she found herself opening the purse, her hands reaching into the purse like they were her’s. Jeno stayed silent, which Ru took as a cue to keep going. 

Lipstick, restaurant napkins, sanitary pads, a powder case, a scarf, a rusty key and an even bigger keychain attached to it— the bottom of the purse was dusty, so Ru wasn’t exactly eager to find out what was at the bottom of the bag. Instead, she just took turns picking up and observing the things she could see. 

The lipstick was almost finished, the sanitary napkin yellowing. Nothing really stood out to her, but it beats being bored on the bus, so she continued with the key. The keychain was this piece of red, translucent plastic shaped like this round bird. She thought it was an Angry Birds keychain at first, but a closer inspection immediately told her otherwise. She flipped the plastic, and immediately noticed that at the centre was a number— 127.

What’s 127 supposed to mean?, she thought as she continued to stare. The longer she looked, the more intrigued she became. She almost didn’t want to say it, but it was almost like she had seen it before— something about the keychain was so familiar to her. Perhaps she had seen this number somewhere? 

She bit her lips, staring at it like it was going to talk to her at some point. It was only when a passing streetlight reflected against the red of the plastic, did it finally click—

"Renjun—" Ru gasped, almost standing from her seat as she tapped the boy in front of her— "I think I know where your mom is!"

"What?" Renjun furrowed his eyebrows, glancing slightly at the other boys to see if they were following. 

"Yeah!" Ru exclaimed, dangling the key for the boys to see. "This was in your mom’s purse— it’s a hotel key."

"No offence, Ru, but I don’t think we need a hotel key to know she’s probably staying at some sort of accommodation," Donghyuck pointed out.

Ru could’ve rolled her eyes, but she wasn’t that girl. Instead, she continued, "no, I’ve seen this bird before— we passed it on the way to our motel from the train station, this place called ‘The Cardinal or something—"

"Oh shit, I remember that!" Jaemin widened his eyes, nodding in agreement; the mood was shifted, tired eyes now wide awake with anticipation. Renjun looked around the bus, a little overwhelmed— "okay, uh—" he took a deep breath— "we have to get off at the next stop, we’ll find one to take us there."

In under five minutes, they were out of the bus, scrambling to catch the next bus going in the direction of The Cardinal. By the time they arrived, they were all running out of the bus and down the deserted road. It was only when they arrived in the hotel that Renjun finally halted, causing the others to stop behind him. 

He turned around and faced them with a slightly contemplative expression. He bit his lips, before finally uttering, "you guys don’t have to follow me in."

"Yeah, but what if—"

"No, no—" Renjun immediately shook his head— "you guys should really head back and get some rest, I’ll just stay here tonight."

Donghyuck was about to protest, but Renjun muttered, "I think this is something I have to do on my own."

The group was silent for a second; when Renjun looked her way, she did the only thing she could think to do: smile. She gave him a reassuring look. He nodded in acknowledgement, and was about to turn back when— "oh, hold on!"

Ru opened her backpack, taking out the contents of it before handing it to Renjun, who was still holding a box of his mother’s belongings. "Here you go—" she stacked them neatly on top of the box.

"Thanks."

She tilted her subtly as she said, "I’m happy for you, Renjun."

He smiled, and for the first time the entire trip, it was for real.

Prev | Next

Taglist | @marijmin @jaeminsnanadoongie

[highwaytothedangerzone502]

India Lima Yankee - Chapter 34

Pairing: Rooster x Female OC

Word Count: 1899

Warnings: Mention of death

Summary: Juliette Kazansky discovers Maverick is back in town for a special training detachment, but she's more than a little blindsided when Rooster arrives too. Having not spoken to him for almost ten years after their less than amicable break-up, Juliette can only imagine how the next few weeks are going to play out when she remains head over heels in love with him while he wants nothing to do with Juliette other than to forget her.

Or so she thinks.

Notes: Chapters in italics are flashbacks. Also I know I used See You Again in another chapter but I couldn't resist using it for this one too.

Chapter Songs: See You Again (Carrie Underwood) A Thousand Years

Chapters: Chp 1 Chp 2 Chp 3 Chp 4 Chp 5 Chp 6 Chp 7 Chp 8 Chp 9 Chp 10 Chp 11 Chp 12 Chp 13 Chp 14 Chp 15 Chp 16 Chp 17 Chp 18 Chp 19 Chp 20 Chp 21 Chp 22 Chp 23 Chp 24 Chp 25 Chp 26 Chp 27 Chp 28 Chp 29 Chp 30 Chp 31 Chp 32 Chp 33 Chp 34

Juliette

Little was said between Rooster and Juliette from when they got out of bed at six to when they arrived at the port at eight-thirty. However, no words were needed. The kisses, the constant physical closeness between them, the incessant need to touch one another- be it on the hand, shoulder, back, face, anywhere- said it all. The loudest confirmation of their love, though, resided on Juliette's finger: Carole Bradshaw's wedding ring. Rooster insisted it stay on her right finger so that when he asked her to marry him again, he could get down on one knee and slip it on her proper ring finger instead. Juliette told him she was his, ring or not, and that she didn't care if he got down on one knee; all she cared about was him returning home alive. Still, Bradley insisted he wanted to do it properly since popping the question in the middle of the night, naked under the sheets, with the possibility he could die in the near future, was not the most romantic way to ask the love of your life to marry them. It'd made Juliette laugh, but it reminded her of how little time they had left.

The drive down to the port remained equally as quiet, the only noise being the panting of Rooster and Raptor in the backseat. Rooster kept his hand in Juliette's, his thumb gliding mindlessly across her skin. She found her gaze switching between their interlocked hands and his handsome face, trying to memorize as much of him as she could before he left.

Arriving at the port, they were greeted by Sarah, Jack, and Joey. Juliette gave her family a weak smile, but the knot in her throat continued to grow, making it impossible to speak. They appeared to understand, saying hello with a hug and expecting no other response. It didn't help that Juliette's muscles felt like they'd competed in an Iron Man, and it had nothing to do with last night's activities. It was the same feeling that would flood them every time she thought about Rooster leaving. Juliette always understood loving a soldier was difficult. Still, she never realized how much so until now when she had to let Rooster go, potentially to his death."

"Princess! Kazanskys!" Hangman's cheerful exclamation momentarily distracted her from her pain. She mustered up a smile. "Y'all made it!"

"We wouldn't have missed it," Sarah replied, smiling when Maverick came to stand beside her. "Are you all packed and ready to go?"

"Yes, ma'am," the pilots echoed, circling around her and Juliette. 

"Very good. When you return home, we'll have another big dinner to celebrate. So I expect all of you to come back. Understood?"

"Anything else is unacceptable," Hangman confirmed. He turned to Juliette. "Princess, it's been an honor. It won't be the same without you keeping us in line."

"And your ego in check," Juliette quipped, shocking herself with the steadiness of her voice. "I wish I could come, but I'll be here when you return."

Afraid if she said anything more, Juliette proceeded to hug each pilot, attempting to maintain her composure, but by the time she reached Hangman, it started slipping. He noticed, and when Jake pulled away, he said confidently, "Don't cry, Princess. We're all coming back."

"I know," Juliette replied, wiping a stray tear, annoyed with herself for letting the emotion slip through. She thought she would've been better about it with them in comparison to Rooster and Maverick, but the pilots meant almost as much to her as the two men did. "But it's still hard to see you leave. You better go before you get in trouble. I'll see you all soon."

The pilots nodded and began trekking off. Maverick, who had hugged the Kazanskys as well, began to leave with the aviators, but Juliette called out for him. He stopped and watched her approach. Then, ensuring they were out of earshot, Juliette said, "I know you'll do whatever is necessary to protect the pilots up there, but protect yourself too. Make sure you come home. I may have always called you Uncle Pete, but you've been like a second dad to me, and I can't- I can't lose another one."

The first wave of tears cascaded down her cheeks as Maverick enveloped her in his arms. Unless she was mistaken, Juliette had seen tears brimming his eyes at her words. They rang true, though. When Jules couldn't go to Iceman for something, she went to Maverick, and no matter the place or time, he'd always helped her, listened to her, and the idea of losing him, especially so soon after her dad, terrified her. 

"Please come home, Mav," Juliette whispered, giving him one final squeeze before pulling away. "That's an order."

Inexplicably, he chuckled. "Sorry, it's just the way you said 'that's an order,' you sounded so much like your dad."

"I've heard him I'm exactly like him."

"Without a doubt." Maverick rubbed her shoulder. "I'll be back, Princess. I love you."

"I love you, too, Mav." Juliette watched him walk off, both to see him board the ship and to give herself time to gather her composure and force the tears away before she faced her boyfriend. Unfortunately, Rooster gave her no time to do so as he appeared behind her, slipping his hand in hers. 

Stepping in front of her, he said, "I'll see you as soon as I can, okay?"

Don't go. Please don't go. I can't lose you too. I won't be able to handle it if I lose you too. The words screamed in her head, and the world swayed beneath her feet. Now that the time had arrived to watch Rooster leave, Juliette found herself feeling nauseous. Maybe it would be easier if she didn't know about the mission. The U.S. wasn't at war with anyone, not officially; at most, on any standard deployment, he'd probably be sent on recon assignments and patrols, maybe a few high-altitude bombing runs. But Juliette did know of the mission, of its complexity, of its deadly nature, and it paralyzed her with fear.

"Come here," Rooster said, his own voice cracking. Juliette threw her arms around his neck, embracing him so tightly that she vaguely wondered if he could breathe. Even if he couldn't, he didn't appear to care, returning her hug with a fierceness of his own. Neither one was willing to break it because doing so meant the end of their time together, and they weren't ready for that. They'd just gotten each other back. Juliette and Rooster understood it'd be hard to leave the other, but not like this. Juliette hadn't expected it to feel like her heart was being physically ripped out of her chest, to have the entirety of her head pounding in pain from holding back her tears.

"I love you so, so much, Juliette," Rooster whispered, kissing the crook of her neck. "I'll be back before you know it."

"Let me know as soon as you do about the date you're coming home, so I can count down the days until I can say 'yes, I'll marry you, Bradley Pete Bradshaw.'"

Rooster pulled back just far enough so he could look at her. A breathtaking grin spread across his face. "Juliette Sarah Bradshaw has a good ring to it."

"Here." She unhooked her arms from around his neck and unclasped her locket. She placed it in the palm of his hand and folded his fingers over it. Then, encompassing his hand in hers, Juliette said, "Since I can't be there physically, I want you to have this. That way, you'll have a part of me with you until you get back."

"Are you-"

"Positive." Then, not giving a damn if anyone saw them, friend or stranger alike, Juliette stood on her tiptoes and kissed Rooster, pouring as much love into it as she could. Her boyfriend returned it eagerly, wrapping his arms around her torso to keep her body flush against his. 

Don't let him go. You'll never see him again. He's going to die. Don't let him go.

"You should get going," Juliette whispered, ignoring the warnings echoing menacingly in her head. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Rooster reluctantly pulled away and put on his sunglasses. He bent down and kissed Raptor and Lightning on the heads, ordering them, "You take care of your momma until I get back, okay? I love you, boys."

The dogs barked in response like they were saying 'yes, sir,' even Raptor, who rarely barked at all. Rooster chuckled, gave his girlfriend one last kiss, and then forced himself to leave. Juliette watched him stride up to the ship, a piece of her heart shattering with each step he took.

"Bradley!" Juliette yelled, capturing his attention. He whirled around. "India Lima Yankee!"

A dazzling smile spread across his face. "India Lima Yankee!"

Rooster waved, and through her tears, Juliette waved back. Then, she turned on her heel and shuffled back to the parking lot to his car, her dogs at her side. 

Don't look back. Don't look back. Don't look back. The words repeated themselves in Juliette's head like a mantra because if she did, she didn't trust herself not to run up on the ship and join her pilots. If they went down, she should go down with them. 

Juliette pulled her father's bomber jacket taut and bowed her head, whispering to herself, "Dad, Carole, Goose, please take care of Bradley and Maverick. Please watch over them and protect them and make sure they come home. Please don't make me lose anyone else. I'm not- I'm not strong enough for that... not right now..."

A sob escaped Juliette's lips, and she cried as silently as she could on her way to the parking lot and back to Rooster's Bronco. It was hers until he returned, whenever that may be. Part of Juliette wanted to drive the car and only that car until Rooster came home. Another part of her didn't want to risk anything happening to it. She'd figure it out later, though. For now, it was time to grieve.

"Rock me like a hurricane!" Juliette jumped at the sound of her ringtone blaring from her purse. She'd forgotten to turn the volume down, and the last person she expected to call her was-

"Really?" Cyclone's slightly irked tone sounded from behind her. She whirled around to find the admiral striding up to her with Warlock at his side.

"Oh, shit," Juliette muttered, hastily wiping her tears away. It's not like it did anything because she was sure her eyes were bloodshot from crying and her face puffy. "Sirs."

"That's my ringtone?" Cyclone asked, his mouth in a thin line.

Juliette smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. I thought it was kind of funny. It was that or the song 'Cyclone,' and I'm sure you'd rather have 'Rock Me Like A Hurricane' than that one."

Cyclone studied her face, searching for any hint of sarcasm, but deciding he didn't see any, responded, "I'll take your word for it."

"Are you here to say goodbye, sir?" She queried, confused by the fact they wanted to speak with her.

"No." The admiral handed her a brown envelope. "This is for you."

Juliette frowned. "What is it?"

"Official orders from the U.S. Navy. You're not done with the mission yet."

***

Tags: @lgg5989 @shanimallina87 @polikszena @summ3rlotus @souslesyeuxde @gleasonmalfoy @icemansgirl1999 @supernaturaldawning @thedarkinmansfield @lyannaforpresident @lapilark @getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth @simpofthecentury @shadeops21 @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @double-j @picklejuicesposts @bradshawsandbridgetons @majdoline @jakexfmc @catsandgeekyandnerd

[shatteredhourglass]

Hi! What do you love most about Our Flag Means Death? The best aspects of the show. I'm curious. 😊

It'd be great if I had a clever heartfelt answer to that, wouldn't it? Alas. I don't know. I'm not gonna get it all down here, but I'll try;

I am indescribably horny for men in black leather (Ed in that first reveal scene nearly took me out for good.)

Blackbeard's crew is like. They look and feel like my people. Idk. I feel some kind of home in the way they dress too but also just their personalities and who they are (don't look at this one too closely, you've already seen me Izzyposting.)

I am SO americanised. I am so tired of americanising myself for the fandoms I'm in and for my friends (I love y'all, but.) I'm Australian, not a Kiwi, but it's close enough that I feel like I don't have to edit myself as much. Relief.

Frankly I expected another show where the fandom goes "oh they're SO gay" and it was all subtextual. I am so sick of those. It shocked me.

It hits that exact sweet spot of angry/violent/fucked up and funny and romantic that I love and try to write.

*gestures wordlessly at every character except for Calico Jack*

Everyone is queer. Everyone. My god. It's not just a token "yeah we put a gay couple who you never see onscreen so y'all shut up" and there's a startling lack of bigotry about it too. I'm not watching queer trauma. It's not like when I watched TCAOS (regrettably) and spent every second Theo was onscreen with fear/nausea clutching my heart

Their silly little muppet faces (affectionate) make great emojis for my server with @trashkingtater (pay no mind to my unfunny server name)

They all kind of suck. This should not be a good thing. It is. I love them.

I immensely enjoyed making fun of Izzy for the entire show and then accidentally got brainrot over him.

The amount of trans!Izzy content my God it's delicious. And a lot of it is written/drawn by transmasc people, which is fantastic. There's so much that it feels like... it's not just one "oh hey" fic every now and then. It's fuckin' prolific. (and it will be more prolific, he says, slightly threatening)

You can tell I've been in Marvel for a while with this one, but: BODY HAIR! CHEST HAIR! BUTT HAIR! (probably.) People who are not 7-pack musclepads! They are people-shaped.

Yeah there's probably more than this but I'm not very good at thoughtfully translating my emotions nor interpreting them in the first place so I don't know if this is a good answer. Take it anyway.