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dozyisdead · 10 hours ago
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I would like to add my little bit of knowledge about accents but in this case, I would love to talk about Logan, especially considering that for a large portion of my life, I lived in a Florida-Adjacent state (Georgia).
As someone who was born and raised in The South and moved around it for the first 5 years of my life, accents can kind of blend together when it comes to regions that connect. For example, if you look at Georgia, there are five (Yes Five!!) different states that it shares a border with! Not to mention, the state of Georgia is 59.42 miles squared (153.91K km squared). That is a little over half of the country of Germany, and around 20k larger than England. Georgia is the 24th largest state in the US. That means there are 23 other states larger than Georgia. This is a lot of excess information, but the reason I am saying this is to mention how large and how many accents there can be within an entire state, and how state lines to not really dictate accent as much as one might think.
I lived in an area called Middle Georgia (both in region and location name) and if you went even 30 minutes in any direction, you would hear slight changes in accent. Atlanta is probably the most famous for its accent, and you can hear it through musical artists from the area (Future, Andre 3000, T.I., Ludacris. Drake has been accused of attempting to mimic an Atlanta accent before). However, where I lived, the accent was different. The only way I can explain it is that certain letter sounds would be dropped or combined when certain words were said together, as well as the stretching of sounds, though that is very common amongst southern accents. It really is a thing where you have to hear accents from different states to understand, because they all do it, but differently.
However, certain states will speak with more rounded sounds, and in a slower manner. I've found that the most common examples of this are those from Mississippi and Texas, which were two states I have previously lived in. My mother was born in Mississippi and still has the accent, despite having not lived in the state for the past 13 years. In fact, when we are out and about, the first comment that she gets is "You ain't from 'round here, are you?". All of this is to say that states and regions have similar accents.
The reason I explained all of that is because I have noticed that Florida is one of the states that tends to have what I and many others call a "Blank Accent". Some other states like Arizona, Nevada, and oddly enough Maine have sort of blank accents, but Florida is a bit unique in the fact that it has three predominant influences that often manage to cancel each other out: Classic Southern, Spanish/Spanish based creole, and African-American Vernacular. The region that Logan is from (Fort Lauderdale/Southern Florida) is heavily influenced by the later examples, and that can be heard most predominantly in Miami (Cuban influence, left over influence from Spanish occupation).
However, Logan's accent is EXTREMELY soft, even by Florida standards, and that can be heavily contributed to his time in Europe. If you compare his accent to Kyle Kirkwood's, who is from Jupiter Florida (only an hour north of Fort Lauderdale), his is the closest you can really get to a neutral accent without hitting modern transatlantic like Lewis has. If you go back to videos from Prema and Carlin, you can hear that it is definitely more "American" sounding compared to Oscar, Fred, and Liam, but when compared to other American accents, he is very bland. Even comparing him to myself, who grew up with a smattering of accents (military town and a multicultural household), he is a true "Blank" accent. I still will fall into southern speech, and use terms and phrases from the south regularly, while I have yet to hear Logan say may "American" (i.e. Southern, as that's what a majority of foreigner's think of first) phrases outside of videos from Prema.
This was a very long ramble and probably could have been compacted down some more, but I do not have the mental fortitude nor the mental energy to do so. I would also like to mention that I am not a linguist, just someone who can mimic accents with alarming ease (and finds them extremely interesting) and happens to have friends from across the US (and therefore a wide range of accents).
Any of u British or know British F1Blr people? I just got curious about how British people read George, Lando, and Alex's accents respectively. To me (from the US) and a lot of US based fans the accents all kind of sound the same, which is why I think George gets the extra reputation to US fans of sounding "posh" when UK fans don't necessarily perceive him that way.
Meanwhile I've noticed that Alex's accent almost sounds like how the Royal Family talks on The Crown (flattening ahhs into ehhs, like pronouncing "lap" as "lep" and "accent" like "eccent"). And Lando just sounds like. British? IDK.
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blouisparadise · 1 day ago
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Here are some amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of November. We hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!
1) I Don't Know Why You're Being Shy | Explicit | 1,900 words
Harry and Louis have a kid-free weekend and Harry confesses how turned on he gets by Louis' scent
2) Countdown | Mature | 2,057 words
Note: The main pairing is Louis/Tommy Shelby.  
Tommy Shelby, pack alpha of the Peaky Blinders, has taken notice of The Garrison Pub’s new barmaid, an omega named Louis.
3) When The Going Gets Tough | Explicit | 2,486 words
Harry is going into unexpectedly early rut and right then, his new boyfriend Louis decides to be a dick and make him jealous.
4) The Things Nobody Talks About  | Explicit | 4,883 words
Twenty eight year old Louis Tomlinson walks past his stepsons room only to see the boy asleep spread out naked in bed with only a pillow covering his manhood and his arm over his face. His sheets are disheveled and it looks like he had a good time before passing out, but the reality is probably less exciting. England has been having a terribly hot summer and they don’t have air con. Louis stands at the door and looks in at the boy as he lays there. He has tattoos littering his fit wide chest and down his beautiful body and his long legs are spread out on the bed. He looks very inviting, Louis is sure he wouldn’t appreciate waking up to his overly horny stepfather ravishing him. Louis was married to Harry’s adoptive dad who passed away last year. Louis and Harry decided to continue living together even without his dad being around because they got on really well and have always been close. Louis and his late husband married when Harry was just nine years old so Louis became kind of another dad to him. Now Harry is an eighteen year old uni student who is home for summer break. Louis is still single and doesn’t get out much after becoming widower.
5) I Fall To Pieces When I'm With You (Cherry Kisses) | Explicit | 4,924 words
Where Louis lives in the country side of London and has a sort of long distance relationship with Italian Harry.
6) Do You Think We'll Be In Love (Forever)? | Mature | 4,983 words
Louis is the babysitter for Harry's children. The alpha invites him to spend the weekend with them at the summer house and there they put an end to the desires and fantasies of the two.
7) Eyes Full Of Stars, Heart Full Of Sins | Mature | 5,453 words
Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.
As their soul-tying ceremony approaches, Louis reminisces about his relationship with Harry, how they fell in love amidst the war, and how an uncertain foundation still led them to undeniable love.
8) Raise You Up, Pin You Down | Explicit | 5,679 words
Louis felt a bit distracted by the movement of the alphas lips, wet and pink. He gulped. “You can’t just pick up a stranger like that!” His green eyes flashed mischievously. “When I see a poor little helpless omega like you, I have to help. It’s in my nature.”  Signs of another smug look tugged at his lips. When Louis can't, for the life of him, reach the bar to get his drink, he's surprised with a little help from a handsome and cocky stranger.
9) Just Keep Holding Onto Me (And I’ll Hold You) | Explicit | 7,058 words
Harry, Louis, Zayn and Niall reminiscing and grieving together after Liams funeral.
10) I Used To Call You My Best Friend Way Back Before You Were My Everything | Explicit | 6,670 words
Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.
“Okay, this is going to sound insane, but I really can’t stop thinking about you.” Louis’ eyes widened and his heart skipped. “How do you mean?” he whispered. “I mean. I kind of, like, want you. And like. I don’t know if I can have you.” “Oh, yes you absolutely can,” Louis gained confidence at Harry’s sudden lack thereof. “What? I was supposed to look after you, and now, not only have I gone and put myself in a position to not be there for you, but I also just. Want you. What would everyone think?” “Harry, I—I want you, too. Who cares what anyone thinks? Do you mean my parents? They’ll live, considering they love you more than they love their own sons sometimes.”
11) Wild Love | Mature | 7,206 words
Louis don’t know how he ended up like that, he was just taking photos to post online, and now he has an feral alpha on top of him, scenting all his determination out, suddenly there seems cozy and a good place to be.
12) I Dig Your Cinema | Explicit | 7,331 words
Harry Styles is a famous actor in town. Louis Tomlinson doesn't care about him at all. Well, at least that's what Louis thinks. But when Harry's on his knees in front of Louis in the bathroom of a night club, he begins to draw different conclusions.
13) Free Falling | Explicit | 7,710 words
Harry came to London for a visit after meeting Louis at Superbloom, but he never really left. Now, sharing a life and a bed with Louis, he’s fallen deeply in love - but he doesn’t know if Louis feels the same. Navigating daily laughter and longing, Harry faces the uncertainty of their undefined bond. Is he truly part of Louis’ world, or just a passing chapter? As doubts build, he wonders: will their fragile connection deepen into something real, or will it slip away before it ever truly begins?
14) Always Yours | Explicit | 8,018 words
Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.
Jealous and Possessive Harry when someone new arrives in their group and has a crush on Louis.
15) On a Night Like Tonight | Mature | 8,635 words
Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.
Pop star meets star football player, aka Taylor Swift/Travis Kelce AU.
16) Airplanes & Apple Pies | Not Rated | 8,987 words
Harry & Louis are strangers flying home for Thanksgiving. They bond as the only passengers in business class - things may or may not get a little heated...
17) Cross My Heart And Hope You Die | Explicit | 9,347 words
Something about this man is getting under Harry’s skin in a record time. “Aren’t you going to introduce yourself?” he questions after a moment of silence. Tomlinson exhales a cloud of smoke, smirks and then shrugs. “I know who you are. You know who I am. What’s the point?”
18) Home | Mature | 9,988 words
Louis has a crush on Harry, and Harry has a crush on Louis and they obviously don't know about each other.
19) Lights Go Down | Explicit | 10,449 words
Note: The main pairing is Louis/Zayn Malik.
Louis is in need of the perfect dom, and the best dom in the club has just parted ways with his regular sub. Can Louis be the sub Zayn wants?
20) A Flicker Of Hope That I Wanna Keep (Please Don’t Leave) | Mature | 12,230 words
Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.
Harry is in love with Louis, and he had thought Louis felt the same until he accidentally left his journal in Harry’s home. He knows he shouldn’t have read it, especially when it only proved to be a reality check he didn’t want. Once Harry finds the green-eyed, curly-haired, gangly fucker that’s stolen Louis’ heart, he’d like to have a strong word with him.
21) Our Sacred Place | Explicit | 15,842 words
Harry knows that, if he wants to keep something from his husband, he has to do it carefully, considering Louis' curious nature. Mia, their daughter, feels capable of helping her dad in this mision so that everything devolps successfully.
22) We’re Leading Each Other Out Of The Dark | Not Rated | 16,187 words
Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.
Harry leaves and never looks back, only for him to eventually come home to find Louis and a little girl that looks exactly like him.
23) Meet Me At The Rat Hole | Explicit | 16,934 words
Harry's voice drifts into a nervous ramble. “I mean, I know it’s not my place, but he deserves someone who’s gonna make him laugh, not just… not just be there, and—” Shane holds up a hand, cutting him off, his face twisting into a sneer. “Oh, I get it now. You want to fuck him.” Harry and Louis are best friends. Harry is in love with Louis. But Louis has a boyfriend named Shane. He suuuuuuucks. Harry and Louis want to go see the Rat Hole. but again, Shane sucks. Let's see what happens.
24) After Hours | Mature | 17,605 words
"I want you to take me all night when you get back," Louis whispered against Harry's lips. "You think you can handle me all night?" Harry teased. "You know i can." Louis replied confidently, a smirk curling at the corner of his lips.
25) Wolves, I Hear Them Calling For You | Mature | 18,392 words
Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.
Harry was in love with Louis, but the omega definitely didn't see him that way. Or maybe he did.
26) Raspberry Juice | Explicit | 18,657 words
1. Louis will take the farthest bedroom down the hall. 2.Louis’ room is off limits. 3.No going through Louis’ things 4.Will share food, just ask first. 5.Louis will take two showers. One in the morning and again at night. So, don’t hog the bathroom at either time. 6.Only one guest permitted at once. 7.No parties. Ever. 8.Keep listening/viewing entertainment at low volume. 9.If you're gonna pop your knot, I don’t need to hear the experience while it’s happening. 10.Be out of the apartment every third Thursday-Sunday of the month so I can help my omega with their heat. This list was perfectly fine when Harry first moved in. But Harry's somehow grown attached to the scent of his roommate's omega...even if he's never seen them. He's desperate to catch a glimpse of the couple, to force his wolf to understand the omega is taken. He has no idea it will end in him getting a taste of his own.
27) Limelight | Mature | 20,056 words
Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.
During his first semester at Boston University circa 1989, a shy, socially awkward Harry meets a kind, outspoken Louis. In an attempt to show Louis how he feels, he creates a mixtape of songs. But Harry’s deep anxieties cloud him, and he can’t seem to understand whether or not Louis even wants him around, let alone likes him back.
28) In The Spotlight, In His Arms | Not Rated | 20,115 words
Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.
Popstar Harry Styles and uni student Louis. Harry accidentally goes live on Instagram and his phone captures Louis sleeping peacefully. That’s how he introduces Louis as his boyfriend to the world. The world falls in love with Louis Tomlinson but will everyone really? Slight angst, insecure Louis, but lots of fluff and Louis is so easy to fall in love with.
29) Waiting For The Winds To Change | Explicit | 21,366 words
After leaving his husband, Harry retreats to a remote beach house owned by a friend to escape the tangled mess his life has become. Looking for nothing but a few weeks of peace and tranquility by the water, Harry plans to get his thoughts in order as he prepares to start his life over again. When a stranger arrives, seeking refuge from an approaching storm, Harry is thrust into a whirlwind romance full of self discovery, some hard truths and more than just a few realisations. As the waves come crashing in, their little bubble bursts and when Louis’ own secrets are revealed, Harry must decide if he’s ready to jump head first into something that could inevitably leave him heartbroken and right back where he started.
30) One Last Time | Explicit | 24,295 words
Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.
Louis is a werewolf, and Harry is a vampire. They’re supposed to hate each other, but they’re too busy fucking to care.
31) My Everything | Explicit | 31,061 words
Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.
They got to the building and right before the door of the elevator opened to the lobby, Harry grabbed Louis’ hand and brought him to his chest. “See you later, my love?” he brought Louis to him for a soft kiss. Louis smiled, blue eyes studying Harry’s face closely before he moved his tie back, patting his chest tenderly. “Go save the world, Agent.” Harry chuckled and pecked his lips again. “You’re ridiculous.” Louis scrunched his nose happily, “See you at lunch?” “Always.” He pecked his lips again before the door of the elevator opened to their new day.
32) No Bananas In The Library | Not Rated | 36,436 words
Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.
Sometimes it all starts with a dare, sometimes the dare comes later, and sometimes the dare is actually the push someone needs to be brave enough to talk to someone. Louis wouldn’t say Harry is his enemy but that loud frat boy can be incredibly annoying, always disturbing Louis when he tries to study, and Louis has certainly told him so. And he’s always eating his disgusting bananas. However, one day Harry approaches him to say that he wants to get to know Louis.
33) In Dreams You're Mine | Explicit | 37,530 words
Harry age 10, and Louis age 12, meet on a seaside holiday and become the best of friends. Their visit to a fortune teller sets off a series of events that changes their lives and dreams forever.
34) I Want You To Need Me | Explicit | 37,609 words
For Harry, finding his soulmate had always been his life goal. For Louis, soulmarks don't matter as long as he loves the person he’s with. And he truly loves Harry. Fate brought them together, on Harry’s 18th birthday, and they couldn’t stay away from each other, even if they tried. Louis is sure their marks will match, their love is that strong. But how will it affect Louis when Harry’s mark doesn’t match his and Harry decides to go find his one true love?
35) Wherever You Are (That's Where I'll Be) | Mature | 50,151 words
Harry took a deep breath, his fingers tightening into a fist. “I... I haven’t been sleeping well. Actually, I haven’t been sleeping much at all,” he admitted, his voice hoarse. “It’s been getting worse for weeks now. I think it started with nightmares, but now... it’s something else.” Dr. Sinclair leaned forward slightly, his eyes focused on Harry. “Something else?” “Voices,” Harry whispered, almost as if he was afraid saying it aloud would make them worse. “I’ve been hearing voices, even when I’m awake.”
36) From Underneath Your Glow | Explicit | 53,524 words
Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.
With years of bitter experience and a tuition debt that would outlast three generations, Louis did what anyone in his position would; he developed an almost flawless five-step system for scamming alphas.
37) Forever Yours | Mature | 54,130 words
Harry and Louis are very much in love and expecting their first baby together. Everything is perfect until it's not anymore and hearts get shattered, promises broken... Five years later, Harry comes back after realizing the life he left behind was the one he should have chosen all along. Is it too late or can he get his family back?
38) Total Distraction | Explicit | 57,805 words
Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.
Love On Tour just finished and Harry finds himself being shipped off to Mykonos for three weeks alone. He expects to spend them bored and lonely until Louis comes sashaying down the beach and changes his life forever... or at least for the next three weeks.
39) Midnight Doesn’t Last Forever | Explicit | 63,658 words
Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.
When Harry learns that his beloved grandfather has passed away, he also discovers that he's inherited the lake house that he so fondly remembers from childhood. However, it comes with a stipulation - he must be legally married before he can take possession of it. Enter his best friend, Louis, who is an accident-prone freelancer who has a desperate need for health insurance. All seems to be going well with the plan until Louis finds himself in an unfortunate accident that robs him of his memories of Harry and their marriage of convenience.
40) As The Summer Fades Away | Explicit | 66,491 words
Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.
Harry and Louis were not supposed to be. And that was a fact Louis had been very aware of for the past decade. It was just the way the universe was. And Louis knew there was no bending and pushing that would change the facts. Harry was his neighbor and his father’s best friend. A constant in Louis’s life for years. Sturdy and unmoving, with an ever present frown pulling on his mouth. Unattainable. When Louis landed back in Texas after graduating college, he learned that sometimes the universe could bend a little at his will.
41) I Love It Better If I Repeat It Many Times; Firefly, Firefly, Firefly  | Not Rated | 65,661 words
Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.
“Louis, don't marry him.” he gasped loudly as the alpha cornered him at the engagement party. Louis watched behind Harry to make sure that no one was paying attention to them. “Please don't.” he begged, Louis' blood was boiling, he roughly pulled away from the curly’s firm grip. He couldn't believe his audacity. “What's wrong with you? You just asked Naomi for her hand, you asshole!” He yelled through clenched teeth, still looking behind his back. Harry shook his head for a few seconds, holding his hair that was ruined in a flash. “I can't believe it. You’re-” “I know you don't love him. I saw it in your eyes, Lou. Please.” The brunette omega fell silent, opening his mouth in astonishment, the ring he'd received from Rowan identical to Naomi's weighed heavier against the accusation that fell from the alpha on him. Harry took a step closer, they were practically already close from a start, right now, their chests were brushing. He watched his pleading gaze, his large, warm hands clinging to his arms, Louis felt his mark burning. “Harry-” “If you ask me, I won't get married. If you ask me, I’ll give up on all of this.” His heart along with his knees went weak.
42) I Know Your Love’s Not Real | Mature | 67,890 words
Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.
With a simple bet that could’ve given him his ticket out of this town, Louis finds that taking the virginity of the nerdy alpha came with lots of difficulties and consequences. One being his lack of patience, the other being a broken heart.
43) Bring Me To Life | Explicit | 143,572 words
Louis no longer wants to live and his plan to leave the world behind was almost a success. Almost. That is, until Harry, a vampire, saves Louis' life and grants him immortality with his bite. However, Louis is far from grateful when he wakes up to his new reality. Harry had envisioned the creation of his first offspring very differently and now has to deal with a suicidal young vampire who hates him and constantly tries to end his own existence. As they navigate their tumultuous relationship, they begin to uncover secrets about Louis' family that could change everything they thought they knew.
Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.
You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.
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christmassavestheyear · 3 days ago
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hello!!! monthly recs just dropped, and BOY have i read some good ones this november. you can check out this months 911 rec list on the tag, and check back at the end of december for next month's! this is the first time i've actually done these as a formatted, planned thing, but i've given out some rec lists before. this month we've got mostly larry, but a little ziam sprinkled in there, even some qpr zouis!
🎤 I've Been Waiting (To Let Go Of Myself) || onlyangelolivia harry styles/louis tomlinson || 2.3k After a drunken night in 2024, Harry and Louis get back together for the first time since 2017. It brings about some questions about their relationship and how they'll go forward - if they go forward at all.
🎤 Still Dreamin' Bout You || @ireallysawanangel harry styles/louis tomlinson || 3.1k Harry doesn’t pay much attention to football. That’s proven even more apparent when the biggest football star in the UK walks into his juice bar and he doesn’t even notice. He does start to take notice when that football star keeps coming back.
🎤 limelight || @dehydratedpool harry styles/louis tomlinson || 20k During his first semester at Boston University circa 1989, a shy, socially awkward Harry meets a kind, outspoken Louis. In an attempt to show Louis how he feels, he creates a mixtape of songs. But Harry’s deep anxieties cloud him, and he can’t seem to understand whether or not Louis even wants him around, let alone likes him back. BLFF #175: 80s/90s AU (preferably high school or uni) in which a pining Harry burns Louis a CD with a bunch of love songs on it. With a side of angst please.
🎤 I'd Choose You Over Sleep || @homosociallyyours harry styles/louis tomlinson || 2.1k If there's one thing Louis values, it's a bit of sleeping in on the weekends. There's very little she'll let come between her and those few precious hours of the day. Harry might just make her shift her priorities. At least a little.
🎤 Jealous Hearts and Silk Nights || MoneyboxD zayn malik/liam payne || 4k Zayn and Liam show up to dinner mad at each other, but the night takes a turn when a flirty waiter sets his sights on Liam. Zayn? Not having it. Liam? Loving the chaos a little too much. Between jealous glares, smug smirks, and whispered promises, it’s clear this couple knows how to keep things interesting—even when they’re mad.
🎤 this cage was once just fine || @daggerandrose harry styles/louis tomlinson || 3.3k Harry expected Louis’ camaraderie to last only as long as they lived in the same dorm, but when Louis quite literally yelled across the dining hall for Harry to come sit with him the next school year, Harry was pleased to find that Louis’ friendship was more than just forced proximity. Now, hundreds of texts, FaceTimes, and even a week long summer vacation later, Harry and Louis are practically inseparable. Or the one where Harry pines for Louis
🎤 Fall and Rise of 1D || mysquitelouis harry styles/louis tomlinson || 12.5k Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles have always shared a complicated bond, hidden beneath years of friendship and tension. As One Direction’s “On the Road Again” tour comes to an end, the band unravels—only to discover that management orchestrated their breakup with hidden contracts. Fueled by betrayal, Louis and Harry take legal action, uncovering shocking truths about Zayn’s departure and the manipulation that tore them apart. As the band fights to reunite, Niall and Liam come forward with heartfelt apologies, and Louis and Harry are forced to confront their feelings for each other. Can they rebuild their careers—and their love—while navigating the chaos of a broken band?
🎤 Breathe Me In || niallshouse harry styles/louis tomlinson || 2.6k A cold-induced asthma attack lands Harry in A&E and Louis is there to comfort him.
🎤 Trouble up (in hotel rooms) || @larryisinlove harry styles/louis tomlinson || 9.8k “Isn't this room 82?” Louis asked. Because he was confused, because that wasn't Liam, because those serene but serious green eyes intimidated him and because he had never, in all his life, felt as embarrassed as he did in that moment, and he couldn't think of anything else to say. “No,” replied the brown-haired man, in a hoarse voice; perhaps because he had just woken up, or because he was upset, or perhaps a mixture of both. “This is room 28”. “Oh” was all Louis could answer, as he wished that the carpet would swallow him up and make him disappear from probably the most uncomfortable moment of his life.
🎤 Maroon - The Lips I Used To Call Home || Anonymous harry styles/louis tomlinson || 4k The air in the apartment was cold, the cracked window was letting in the bite of winter but they didn’t feel it yet. Their skin was still warm, their bodies humming with the aftershocks of what had just happened. And yet, there was always the question, the one Harry couldn’t escape no matter how far he tried to run from it: Is it really over? Or a Maroon inspired one shot where everything’s uncertain and a tiny bit angsty. Really though, it’s not sad.
🎤 Special Instructions || @haztobegood zayn malik/louis tomlinson || 2.2k He didn’t mean for the drawings to become a thing. But they have. Every Tuesday night around eight o’clock, a take out order from Louis T. appears. Each order has new special instructions, requesting some change to the carefully curated dishes that Zayn has concocted. And every Tuesday night, Zayn doodles a response to those special instructions.
🎤 I'd Rather You (Hold Me) || @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed QPR zayn malik/louis tomlinson || 14.1k It’s just - this isn’t like them. It isn’t like Zayn to dodge his calls for days, not unless he’s seriously incapacitated or dead, but if that were the case, Louis would’ve heard. Because Louis is his emergency contact, for one, and both their families know how much they mean to one another. Someone would’ve called, if something had happened, unless Zayn was dead in his own house, and, oh God, what if Zayn’s dead in his own house and Louis has been mentally calling him a dickhead while he’s rotting on the bathroom floor? Spoiler: Zayn isn't dead. There is however, suddenly a baby.
STATS: # of fics: 12 # of authors: 12 # of words read: 79.5k
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bwoahtastic · 2 days ago
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okay but what about F1 toddlers. and some are more drawn to others from the grid
like how Kimi antonelli only wants to be carried by Max, Kevin hides behind Nico, Franco Oscar and Lando are having a block tower race, and theyve got no idea where George and Alex are
Charles, pierre and Esteban are just babbeling french to each other,
Checo, Fernando and Lewis are trying to hold everyone is a room togheter while making food aswell and Lance is strapped on fernandos chest with wrapping blanket just chilling while Carlos is trying to help make Tacos
Zhou and Valterri are napping on the couch
Yuki fighting to stay awake as Liam is showing him the best movie of all time Cars (Duhh)
Sooo okay took a long time to decide if I wanted to say this, but I write Tiny Drivers lol MerlinSpecter was my old account (long story why I moved on from it, not fun). Really miss that fic sometimes even though it has been literal years!
Little Kimi only wanting yo be carried by Max (who is vibing cos he loves kids and Kimi is cute) and tiny Kev clings to Nico h and will NOT let go!! Franco and lando balling while making block towers and Osc is more quiet but builds the highest!
Pls little Lance strapped to Fernando's chest so Nando has his hands free to help good lol,and Lancey is mean mugging everyone sksk! Qnd tiny Carlos helping cook 😭
Zhou snd Val already conked out and Yuki trying to stay awake to watch cars with Liam who is very passionate about it! Pure chaos lol!
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dear-ao3 · 1 day ago
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vegas part 2: still december 1st. still at it. yes i know its late. i do not care. lets fucking go
and so. what we’ve all been waiting for. the race. self described as james hinchcliffe as having “cold temperatures, [a] dirty race track, low downforce configurations and walls everywhere.” 
franco was cleared to race. though there was some controversy over it because there was an article that came out with a quote from franco about the crash where he claimed to have a concussion. however, i would like to point out that the article in question is translated from spanish and things Could have gotten Lost in Translation (also to my knowledge it wasn't a very reliable news source).  
in any case. people were annoyed about the fact that franco Could have been racing with a concussion and yeah williams has been a little bonkers this year but driver safety is something that Should be taken seriously. 
this wouldnt be the first time that a driver raced with a concussion either. in 2021 after silverstone max had a 50g crash with lewis and admitted much after the fact to having vision problems at the next race because of it. though that was not caught because he didn't tell anyone about it. so. to my understanding. the concussion protocols that are in place only really can do anything if the driver tells someone about it. 
regardless he was there to race. as was george, who showed up in a pinstripe three piece suit
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and so they lined up
russell
sainz
gasly
leclerc
verstappen
norris
tsunoda 
piastri
hulkenberg
hamilton 
ocon 
magnussen 
zhou
lawson
perez
alonso
albon
stroll
bottas
and colapinto started from the pitlane
“its very simple for max,” crofty reminded us as the lights started to go out. he just needs to finish above lando and in the points and basically “hes world champion again”
and charles (cause remember, he is max’s pawn according to lando) must have known this because on lap fucking one he managed to fully launch himself from fourth to second, somehow getting past both pierre and carlos.
meanwhile, liam lawson continued his tirade against old men by fighting now kevin magnussen. and nearly hit the wall doing so. “great man putting moves on him,” one of the announcers said. “we know how feisty he can be”
kevin though was not pleased with the move. “lawson was moving in a straight line when i was slipstreaming!” he said
and so you know. there were something insane like over 90 overtakes at last years vegas race. this year was expected to be about the same. 
so after lap 1, heres what we were working with:
russell
leclerc
sainz
gasly
verstappen
norris
tsunoda
piastri
hulkenberg
hamilton
ocon
zhou
lawson
alonso
magnussen
perez
albon
stroll
bottas
colapinto
george took the fastest lap on lap 3. which was good cause charles was only .4 behind him. and then charles took the fastest lap from george.
this was because while the mercedes was faster in the corners, the ferraris were faster on the straights. the mclarens were fast no where. and max was pootling along with his diy wing, managing to pass pierre for 4th on lap 4.
meanwhile oscar got noted for a false start.
george and charles had been battling ferociously for first but charles had to pull back to save his tires. so george was now 1.8 seconds in the lead, and he might have a plastic bag stuck on his car. 
charles pulled back so much that he got passed by his own teammate and was now down in third. he was not happy about that. he was actually told that carlos was going to try not to pass him, that was not the plan. but before he did (and i really think this radio was here? im not sure it might have been later) he told his team to “maybe try in spanish” telling carlos not to pass him.
then he got passed by max, which he really was not happy about. 
this was what he got for damaging his tires. unfortunately it was too early to bring him in, so he had to stay out and suffer.
lewis meanwhile had figured out that his car was Not Shit for once and slammed his foot on the accelerator. he managed to get all the way up past oscar. 
lando, still chasing his title dreams, passed pierre and was now fifth, though he was now back behind charles (max’s pawn) (max’s extremely angry pawn)
or at least he was until charles was called to pit on lap 10, as was lando
lewis passed yuki, he was now up to 7th
“as it stands, max verstappen will be champion at the end of the grand prix,” crofty told everyone, as max was currently sitting in third.
and it really wasn't looking good for mclaren as oscar got a 5 second penalty for a false start. 
and with all the pit stoppage that was happening around him, lewis had managed to work his way up to fourth.
and then max and carlos both pitted and he ended up in second, right behind george on lap 12
max came out of the pits in 12th, but crucially he was in front of both ferraris and lando
lando saw this and stepped on the accelerator, putting in a fastest lap. 
and george pitted, leaving lewis out in the lead. (george had been 15 seconds clear of lewis, so when he came back out he was in second)
“we’re in for a while heap of overtakes tonight,” crofty said excitedly as the race really started to take shape.
it was at this point that the shenanigans began ensuing. esteban was called in to pit, but absolutely no one was ready for him so he had to go back out and do a whole nother lap before coming back into the pits Again, which was bad news for his track position and also bad news for alpine cause that was a massive screw up.
and lance’s tires were also not ready when he came into the pits. at first this looked like an aston fuck up, but then after the race it was revealed that he had absolutely no radio for the entire race, so he was just kind of raw dogging it. as in, he had no one telling him at all when to come in to pit, so he made the calls himself. hence why he had no tires ready at all. so his pit was delayed.
and yuki drove over the speed limit sign at the end of the pit lane. 
lewis was called to pit on lap 14, and he came out 9th, behind lando. lewis was not happy about this. “what the hell man?” he said over the radio. “how many places have i just lost?” 
“we wouldve lost another five places if we hand hung it out any longer,” his engineer, bono, said. 
fortunately though, lewis was in a fast car. and he had fought to the front from 10th already once this race, he could certainly do it again. 
lap 15 saw pierre gasly screaming over his radio for more power
“low on power,” he said, normally.
“everything is looking okay to us,” came the pit wall response, entirely unbothered. 
“WAIT I HAVE NO POWER!” pierre screamed.
and then his car started smoking. 
fortunately he was close enough to the pits where he was able to pull in without triggering a safety car, but he was pissed. 
“oh man,” he said forlornly over the radio as he pulled in.
and then the cameras panned to a giant hole in the side of his car.
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which he later posted on his instagram story
“you gotta feel for gasly,” the announcers said. “qualified third and didn't finish the race.” 
meanwhile, checo, who had somehow ended up second when no one was looking, let max though and now he was in second. then carlos passed checo.
and on lap 17 lewis passed lando, also taking the fastest lap.
and then charles passed checo, lewis passed checo, and lando passed checo, who was now way down in 7th. 
“the mercedes is flying,” martin brundle said. 
by lap 19 we had 
russell
verstappen
sainz
leclerc
hamilton
norris
tsunoda
piastri
albon
alonso
hulkenberg
zhou
lawson
perez
ocon
stroll
colapinto
magnussen 
and bottas
and no, your eyes do not decieve you! that is the williams of alex albon up into 9th! and the sauber of zhou guanyu in 12th! it was looking good for them!
and then ferrari began their return to their roots.
what roots are those? you might be asking. 
well lets take a look
“let me know asap if its going to go to plan c cause that changes everything,” carlos said over the radio on lap 19
“let me get back to you,” came the response from the pit wall. which was a classic ferrari “we are checking” moment (as crofty happily pointed out)
“norris is 4 placed behind max,” martin said. “he needs to be in front to keep the championship alive.” 
“that mclaren doesnt have the pace,” crofty said. and he was right. there was also some speculation that that could have something to do with the fact that they couldn't use their revoked rear wing with the special mini drs flap on it that had been declared illegal a few rounds ago. 
they called to the mclaren pit wall to ask zak brown his thoughts. and he said that they don't really have the pace at all. 
“you must be cheering for mercedes to take the big points away from ferrari,” martin said, because remember, ferrari are trying to take the constructors championship title from mclaren 
zak agreed that they were cheering for mercedes, and even went as far as to say “go lewis go!” 
but back to the race. 
carlos was told that ferrari were targeting plan a on lap 22 (which was speculated to be a one stop), george was 10 seconds ahead of max and mclaren was still suffering.
“the front right looks like its about to go any lap” lando said. and oscar could not get close to yuki to pass him.
“man these guys are fast on the straight,” lewis said about ferrari. martin pointed out that he was only three races away from being one of “those guys” and wondered if he was cheering for that in his cockpit. because remember he had expressed interest to quit mercedes early after the shit show that had been the brazilian gp. 
and, kind of insanely. toto had insinuated recently that he would have gotten rid of lewis even if lewis had not gone to ferrari because he had a “shelf life” that was coming to an end. but that comment seemed to have only motivated lewis more. 
he was certainly doing better than alex albon, who apparently had an overheating problem now. “can we just have one race without problems?” he said angrily over the radio.
“ted!” crofty said excitedly over the radio. “its almost time for your favorite part of a modern f1 grand prix! when sergio perez gets close to liam lawson!” 
and it indeed was. checo was in 12 and liam was in 13.
also in an exciting position was zhou guanyu, who was in 11th and only one spot behind alex albon. stake could get a point! their first point! and it was looking like an even better position to be in because alex albon’s engineer came over the radio on lap 26 to tell him:
“alex, weve got a terminal problem here, we need to retire the car.” 
and so the bad luck continued for williams. 
oscar pitted on lap 26.
carlos also wanted to pit on lap 26. “lets get off these tires,” he said over the radio, once again trying to be his own race engineer. 
but he did not pit. max pitted. 
“box me guys, box me,” carlos said again on lap 27. 
“carlos is trying to continue [his method of making his] his ferrari tacticians to do what he wants but they’re not” crofty said.
meanwhile max’s pit stop was called off, perhaps it was to trick another team into pitting. 
and still, carlos was not boxed. he was instead told to swap positions with charles, who had come up behind him. which was interesting because lewis was quite literally half a second behind charles. but they still swapped. and managed to keep lewis behind. 
carlos started to come into the pit lane. but then he backed out. not before he had already crossed the white line though, which usually means an instant penalty. 
lewis pitted. and max pitted. max also complained about carlos crossing the white line on the pit entry. 
crofty reported that there had been a very late call to “stay out stay out” from ferrari, in true ferrari fashion. 
“what happened?” carlos asked over the radio. 
“we were not ready,” said his engineer. 
“wake up you guys! c’mon!” carlos yelled back. he pitted on the next lap
“so where does this all shake out?” martin asked. 
well. we had one mercedes that was doing very, very well (george) and another that was putting pressure on max (lewis) 
george had apparently “even admitted he had an afternoon siesta” and he was leading by 15 seconds. 
and on lap 30 we had 
russell
leclerc
norris
verstappen
hamilton
sainz
hulkenberg
tsunoda
perez
zhou
ocon
lawson
piastri
alonso
magnussen 
bottas
colapinto
stroll
and, if you were wondering, lando was only ahead of max cause max had pitted.
esteban and liam apparently boinked eachother on lap 31, with esteban coming on the radio to say that he got hit.
and lando pitted as lewis took another fastest lap.
“lewis hoans in on the back of max, his arch rival,” martin said pretty dramatically. “anyone still angry about that? 2021?” im sure that across the world many people said yes (2021 of course was the year that max won the championship on the last few laps after a bs safety car call and effectively robbed lewis of his 8th world title).
matin said that he asks that question to fans all the time and fans always say theyre still mad about it. 
lewis then slammed the accelerator again and passed max on lap 32 for third, then got up to second as charles went into pit. 
you might be wondering why carlos hadnt gotten a penalty yet for crossing the white line on the pit lane. well out trusty commentators were wondering too. “ill be very surprised if we don't hear anything,” martin said. 
george pitted. it was a free pit stop because he had been 33 seconds ahead of lewis, so he still came out in first. 
“theyve got this race in the bag as it stands,” crofty said about mercedes. “but its a street track and theres several bags flying around. danger around every corner.” 
zhou meanwhile was barely holding onto 10th (and a point!) in front of esteban ocon
by lap 34 we had george still leading, followed by
hamilton
verstappen
sainz
leclerc
norris
hulkenberg
piastri
zhou
ocon
lawson
tsunoda
alonso
magnussen
perez
colapinto
bottas
stroll
“what a driver from lewis hamilton,” martin said. and it was. hed come up from 10th now twice.
“are we going to get a finish like spa?” crofty asked. then quickly amended that to be “as in lewis hunting down george” at the end, not george getting disqualified for being too light. 
there were 15 laps to go. lewis put in another fastest lap. and his gap to george was 9.1 seconds. 
and if rb could hold onto their current track position, they would be ahead of haas in the constructors championship, which was roughly 10 million dollars
lewis took fastest lap on lap 37. but then charles, who was also on a rampage, took it from him.
“give it 10 laps and he’ll be right on the gearbox of russell,” martin said. 
and there was still nothing in terms of penalties for carlos. 
“i don't know how ferrari have managed to argue this,” the announcers said. and karun even came on from race control to read the rulebook out loud, the exact section that said under which circumstances penalties should be given for crossing the white line of the pit box extry. 
and then checo pulled a move of all moves. crofty even branded it as “vintage sergio perez” as he managed to go right smack between liam lason and kevin magnussen, into a corner, and not a single one of them ended up in the wall as he did his double overtake on lap 39
lewis took the fastest lap again. and again it was taken by charles.
max was under pressure from carlos (who was 1.2 behind) and had no grip.
“you want me to try and keep them behind or what?” max asked his engineer, gp. cause remember, all max has to do is finish in front of lando and he wins the championship, something that he was currently doing. and even if both ferraris passed him, he would still be in front of lando.
“i think you should, yeah,” gp said passively and very confidently for someone who has, if you remember, a diy’d rear wing.
meanwhile checo passed ocon for 11th and lewis was now 7 seconds behind george. 
carlos passed max on lap 42. he was now in third.
martin wondered if carlos was going to try and keep max in his drs, like he did with lando in singapore 2023, to try and protect himself from charles, who was definitely faster than him. 
crofty said that carlos’s bosses wouldnt be pleased about that, especially since ferrari are actively trying to win the constructors championship, but his bosses were only his bosses for a few more races. 
charles was still trying to pass max on lap 45. he was still failing. 
then a little graphic popped up. if carlos had pitted earlier, when he had wanted to, simulation said that he could have finished second. martin found this very hard to believe. i guess we will never know for sure.
finally charles managed to pass max on lap 47. he was 1.5 seconds behind carlos.
and max was right in front of lando.
lando though was a ways back and boxed for softs to get a fastest lap. 
george was still leading. if he continued to lead and won, we would have 7 different multi race winners. which has never happened before. 
and if max stayed where he was he would win th championship. in vegas. like nelson piquet and keke rosberg in the 80s, who both also won their championship sby finishing in 5th.
and george won. 
and max came in fifth. 
so you know what that means. 
“FOUR TIME CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, MAX VERSTAPPEN!!!!”
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“his driving and his ability has manhandled him to the win,” crofty said about max. cause remember, max didn't have the fastest car this year, it was not a dominating season like the last two gave been for him, he won with a diy rear wing for fucks sake!
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THREE TIME RACE WINNER GEORGE RUSSELL
george won, lewis came second. followed by carlos, charles, max, lando, oscar, nico, yuki, checo, fernando, kevin, guanyu, franco, lance, liam, esteban and valtteri.
george t posed on top of his car, then was so excited he jumped directly on top of the marshal holding the scale. 
and then, because vegas is Quirky and Cool and Different, the drivers don't do the podium and the interviews right where they pull up at the end of the race. no they do on a different part of the track, by the fountains. 
so. how do they get there?
why, in a rolls royce of course!
and so lewis, george and carlos all hopped in one, and max and gp hopped in the other. 
gp was very, very proud of max
max was more interested in exploring the rolls that they were in. 
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over in the other rolls, george had somehow wound up in the middle seat despite being 6’3, lewis was fixing his appearance in the mirror, and carlos was wearing a beanie
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but they finally made it around, to the fountain where they were met with jenson button, who was absolutely slutting it up in a brown velvet blazer with a black turtleneck
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and oh? what is this? “oh! jenson’s found a friend!” crofty said. 
and he had! jenson was joined by terry crews 
and unfortunately this is the part of my notes that i took entirely in the dark. so bear with me here. 
first, i was incredibly confused why terry was there, and then it became very obvious that he was just a massive fangirl trying to hold himself together, which was incredibly funny to watch.
still
george was incredibly happy with his race. “i cant even describe this [feeling?], dominant weekend.” and later he said he was waiting for something bad to happen, like a tree hitting the track, but it never happened. also later jenson called george’s race “perfect” he said he was cancelling his flight and going out drinking. which he did do. though he didn't have any other clothes with him so he had to go out in the pin stripe three piece suit that he showed up to the paddock
 lewis was next and he started by congratulating max (which he had also done in the pit lane with the red bull crew) and then said that he “had fun coming from the back…best the car has ever felt!” and then speculated that maybe that was because it was cold. he definitely proved toto’s shelf life comments wrong (and damon hill agreed ) and even apparently out performed mercedes simulations of the race.  
(jenson later on comically slid over to try to talk to lewis like a dude in a romance movie. he and lewis were called "slagclaren" when they were both mclaren teammates there and theyre never beating the allegations) 
and carlos said that he had been “hoping vegas had something to offer me after last year.” with the man hole. he said he had actually been looking for every manhole cover while he was racing so he could avoid them  
and max. who they interviewed as a special treat because he had just become a 4x world champion. “its been a long season, but as a team we kept it together. to stand here as a four time world champion us something i never thought possible….this season taught me a lot of lessons that i am very proud of.” 
with this championship win, max becomes the second person to win his first four titles consecutively (the first was sebastian vettel, who also did it with red bull), though max did break sebs record of fewest days between first and fourth win by one day exactly, and only the sixth driver to ever win four or more world titles, joining the ranks of sebastian vettel, alain prost, juan manuel fangio, michael schumacher, lewis hamilton (the last two also both also won 4 consecutively, but not their first) 
and then he said that his fans got a bit spoiled last year with all the wins, and had to wait awhile this year. 
the podium was fun and filled with champagne and george doing his comical little hop hop and lewis and george holding the trophy like it was their newborn child for some reason.
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and then soaking eachother in champagne
toto wolff even had good things to say about george and lewis, saying that george’s driving was from “another planet” and praised lewis for being able to get to p2 from p10.
lewis also gave some advice to younger drivers during the press conference that was very heart felt. the question posed to him was: Does your advice to young drivers about not being weighed down by the adverse criticism probably come from your feeling that you have been adversely criticized this year?
“It's not about this year. We're talking about youngsters, we're talking about eighteen year olds. And I remember when I was twenty two and you're thrown in the deep-end, you've been given training as a young driver through the younger series but you're not, most of them, probably don't have a PR person. The team will have a PR person but they're not looking out for you, they're looking out for the team. So, you're thrown in the deep-end and you're trying to be nice and people take advantage of you. So, my guidance, like, if I had a young driver and I was looking after him, I would put a lot of support around him so that people couldn't get to him. You know, the socials and media and stuff would not be able to affect that young individual's mindset. And I think that protecting that is really important 'cause then, you know, I think it's really about firstly them getting the opportunity and not knocking 'em down when they make mistakes. Which one of you or anyone here at eighteen years old-nineteen years old has not made mistakes? And when you do it in the spotlight it's really, really tough. And so we should be lifting these people up and giving them not just one chance, two chances, just continue to support them and just not slating them 'cause that's, it's just not nice.”
he also gave some advice for the rookies next year:
“...that I don't know! Don't do absolutely everything everyone tells you to do. Ask lots of questions. Take your time. Don't let the negativity get to you because people are so negative nowadays, judging you non-stop. So, stay off social media and keep your family and your closest friends close to you 'cause they are the only ones that are your true friends and know they are gonna be there for you when the going gets tough.”
also the vibes of this press conference were kinda funny. lewis had changed and was slaying, george was back in his puff jacket but over his race suit and carlos was still in his beanie
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and when asked why george was in his puff jacket again, he said that no, he had not jumped into the fountain, he was just cold from getting soaked in champagne. and last year at vegas he said that he got pneumonia and had pneumonia from november to february and was not keen on getting a repeat of that.
but pretty much everyone had good things to say about max verstappen. including lando, who if you will remember, dragged max through the mud at the beginning of the weekend and was vaguely battling him in the championship for p1. he went up to him in the media pen and congratulated max on his win right away
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and max was thankful for this, but he also told lando  : “I told you, many times, there will be a day. You’ll be world champion.”
lando then said “Let’s celebrate in Abu Dhabi.”
and max said “will do”
lando also called him a motherfucker in his congratuations comment on instagram
in his interviews, lando said that he was proud of how he has improved this season and has realized how much more pressure there is when you're driving to battle for the championship. he also said that he was trying to give himself grace for not winning. he also said that he would have changed the whole car this weekend, it was that bad. though he did say that it had pretty much nothing to do with the rear wing that they couldn't use anymore
other drivers also had good things to say about max. 
like franco: "its incredible what he has achieved, all the championships and races he's won. he's an incredible driver, in my opinion currently the best one in f1. he also did it with a car that wasn't the fastest…hopefully at some point we'll be able to beat him!"
and charles: "You know that he's not going to let any hundreths go and that whatever he can do to maximize the car he will do, I think like every other drivers but he's really on it every laps & you cannot really relax. But I like this challenge we've raced each other since a long time and I liked it."
george: "Max has done an amazing job and you know when he didn't have the car, he always got the best results possible & the guys he was fighting didn't. That's what makes him the champion!"
and esteban: “this year he has been the strongest out there and its been nice to watch”
max himself though was definitely enjoying his fourth championship. he said during his interview that he was “very thirsty” and then progressively started to get drunk. while in the paddock still. he started with the beer and said it was beer (after an interviewer asked if he was drinking dutch chocolate milk)
at one point he was even double fisting gin and tonics
and i cant find my link but! he also made red bull vodkas for i think the sky sports team? which was unhinged of him. 
and also possibly explains several of his highly unhinged (but very welcome) comments. including but not limited to:
max bragging that he would have won the championship in other cars as well: "Would I have become champion in the McLaren? Yes! And much earlier too. In 2021 l would have also won the title in a different car [Mercedes]. In 2022 that would have been more difficult, because Ferrari was perhaps a bit too fragile then. And last year? Well, that would have been a bit more difficult."
max absolutely flaming the hell out of zak brown TO HIS FACE over the fact that zak said that max could only win in the fastest car: “Like you said, you know, before I can only win in the fastest car, this year has been a little bit different?”
and then several interviews and several drinks later he was asked if it was true that he had “run into zak brown and tell him you can become world champion not just in the fastest car?”
“yes! and i ABSOLUTELY told him that!” max said, while drinking gin and tonic “live on sky sports.” 
the red bull team were being pretty much equally as silly
i managed to lose the link somehow but one of the mechanics commented on a post about max being a 4x wdc that he knew they “didn't need that rear wing.”
and also, they did manage to remember to pack the max 4x wdc merch, but not the right rear wing
he also got very sappy about his childhood and what he would tell his younger self: 
"I wouldn't tell small Max anything because small Max was not worried about anything. Small Max was just loving life: driving quadbikes, go-karts, motocross bikes, having fun with his friends, not enjoying school. Honestly? That's the beautiful part of it. You shouldn't tell him anything and just let him live his life. I wish I could see myself with small Max. It was a good time."
he also got absolutely SOAKED with champagne
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and went and did an interview for a spanish news outlet saying that charles was going to be the next world champion.  
oh. speaking of charles. 
he was not having nearly as good a time as max was. or even george was. 
he was actually getting nearly possessed by american psycho.
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and in case you cant hear him , this boils down to basically this:
bryan (race engineer) : "pick up please"
charles: "yes whatever you want. as always."
bryan: "you did your job"
charles: "yeah, yeah, I did my job, but being nice fucks me over all the fucking time, all the fucking time. it's not even being nice, it's just being respectful."
fred (team principal): "Charles. CHARLES." charles: "i know I need to shut up, but at one point it's always the same. oh my fucking god"
bryan: "ok but anyway you did the right thing for the team"
bryan: "and pick up please" charles "yeah yeah fucking pick up what the fuck you want"
charles: "the radio is on. sorry"
(and team red line, max’s e racing team, really tried their damndest to get charles his community service date with max for this with one of their members tweeting “community service coming for you after that teamradio”)
but what did happen here? 
well. this is not the first season that charles has done what ferrari tells him to do and then still manages to get screwed over. so this seemed to come from a place of frustration at the team more than anything else. he did have some other radios during the race that were angry, including “FUCKING STUPID” which i think was when carlos crossed the pit lane entry (which ne never did get a penalty for) and saying “NICE. AMAZING.” after being told they would swap cars (so charles would be ahead.)
he said in his post race interview that “But it's just frustrating when it's like this and it's been frustrating for me, but i can understand that nobody understands that.”
he also though said that "I am not happy about Carlos, but I won't go into details. Why? Because we talk about these things before the race, and I'm always the only one who respects those agreements. From now on I will be thinking about myself only. It's a shame that i couldn't get more points on lando."
carlos also had some, albeit not as intense things to say about it. 
first he spoke about the pit stop fuck up, saying that
“I don't want to look for who's at fault. It's not the moment to talk or analyze. We need to look [at what happened.] I was already asking to pit 2 laps earlier because I knew Charles was faster and I wanted to let him by, but I wanted to get out of the way. Hamilton was coming behind him and I knew chaos was coming there. I asked to be pitted because there was a lot of graining and we couldn't do anything there. We didn't pit and I stayed out for 2 laps. Even on the lap where I wanted to pit, we made a mess at the pit entry and things didn't go well, but they didn't go well for me, they didn't go well for Charles. I also lost a lot of race time there. It wasn't a nice situation and it wasn't easy to manage. It went like this and that's why I prefer to analyze later and not speak in front of a mic.”
he did acknowledge that charles probably wasn't happy with him during the press conference, saying that "i guess he [charles] isn't happy but i'm also not happy with the way things were handled at the time,i think no one's happy today the in the team because we all expected a bit more [...]."
but he also repeated that “I agreed not to talk to the media because we always talk here, we always make a mess. I agreed with him not to say anything to the media.” and “It's stuff between me and him. I never open the radio, I never talk to the media because I don't like it. It's not a nice thing to do. It's not necessary.”
and planet f1 released a whole article that effectively backed carlos up.
still, charles was effectively still in time out because this was the statement that got released. usually these are with the drivers and done over video. charles just released a written statement:
“I finished the race where I started it today, so it wasn't that exciting, but if you look at the details it was quite an eventful one. Unfortunately, we degraded the fronts on the first stint on Mediums, then we were able to come back on the Hards which were working better. Big congratulations to Max (Verstappen). He deserves this championship title, he has had an [amazing season and always maximised his results which has paid off for him. It gives us motivation to be even stronger next year and hopefully we can put him under some more pressure then. We will push hard in the last two races to try to finish the season ahead of McLaren”
he also posted an instagram post that tagged max (but did not follow him back cause remember that whole stupid thing?) and in this poto fump there was not a single photo of carlos, but there was one with lewis which was relieving, save the caption: 
“First of all, a huge congrats to @maxverstappen for his 4th title, fully deserved. Now only 2 races to go, got to maximise everything on my side to try and take that P2 in the drivers championship and the constructors title. Let's goooo”
he also posted a picture of lewis and tagged him in it.
but during the interviews in vegas, he was so caught up in the ferrari team drama that he forgot max won the championship. 
"It was a track where we had to be pretty fast, the Mercedes were untouchable, we got the best possible result. Verstappen champion? Oh yes that's right &, I forgot, well done to him, he had an exceptional season, he deserves it."
though maybe that was all the weed that was still in the paddock.
charles wasn't the only one pissed over his radio. for example kevin saying “that's not a good thing. that's not a good thing” when his engineer praised him for doing a one stop. 
and also zhou said “See you fucking later, Colapinto” as he passed him.
someone who was not angry though was one nico rosberg, who did not commentate this weekend but he was there, networking for one of his many side projects, finally not wearing beige, and busting out his only dance move in a club, the elbows
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so the drivers championship is squared away. constructors is next. we will see how this one shakes out in qatar. only two more to go. see you then.
the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)
Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2
hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long). 
what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.
the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)
and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024
and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!
anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.
but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go. 
first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now. 
what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness: 
george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt
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fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.
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we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory. 
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nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though
and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.
also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.
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he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting
charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.
oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc
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max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.
we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago. 
heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:
lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki. 
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lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around
george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged
george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something
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max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding. 
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and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)
and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip
then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama
haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”
in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.
adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where! 
ferrari? no that would be too obvious. 
mercedes? nah
williams? no too much of a shit show
aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show! 
that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025. 
apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power. 
he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari. 
fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.
by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).
lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:
"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."
mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:
mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical. 
lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….
and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."
max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."
and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can. 
a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile. 
but! there is more! 
daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.
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which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.
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which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off. 
and with that. the baku lore. 
theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events. 
such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:
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they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that
the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully
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and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.
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speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls. 
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then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks. 
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but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.
some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right? 
franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying. 
also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say. 
but alas. qualifying. 
i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE. 
so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box. 
max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that. 
slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster) 
charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won. 
and franco has never been to baku before. 
i think that's all the exposition that we need here. 
q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3. 
the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice. 
the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando. 
lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault) 
now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag. 
if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader. 
in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.
and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up. 
q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled. 
in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow” 
and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon. 
max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th. 
and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race. 
steaming on forward to q3. 
we had, for review, in q3 the following: 
both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri. 
right out the gate it was wild. 
“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment. 
everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer. 
here were the standings: 
charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando
and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-
wait a second what is that
could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!
oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk
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meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.
and what do you know i have time
so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say
"the williams still has the air box fan in"
"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.
and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:
"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"
alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap. 
franco did tho!
and here were out qualifying results: 
p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex  p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel  p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban 
oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit. 
everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second
onto the race. 
notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.
and so, we head into lap 1.
charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth. 
someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid. 
by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a  spot to nico. 
also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.
and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio. 
yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being. 
franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL. 
lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past. 
george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break. 
on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th. 
and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap. 
several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo. 
“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly. 
mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando. 
and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do? 
they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race. 
remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.
lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits. 
thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo. 
mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!
meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control. 
several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done. 
ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place. 
charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said. 
carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th
this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.
also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.” 
max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not. 
but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”
this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to. 
meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working. 
lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando. 
“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too. 
10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:
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+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george  +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban  +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu 
lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max
at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”
“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct. 
we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.
definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem. 
oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.” 
and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship. 
“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)
meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!! 
but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened. 
what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash. 
the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.
and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:
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but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car. 
which meant 
OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP
and george inherited p3! 
and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit! 
“yes!” he whispered over the radio. 
he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating. 
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he also got driver of the day! 
(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)
gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting. 
george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner” 
charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice. 
oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.
and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!
the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled: 
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and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them
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(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)
george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium
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the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:
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and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran: 
-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management
-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically. 
-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season
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-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)
-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red
-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters. 
-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)
-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now” 
-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.” 
-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram. 
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-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.
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-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today! 
-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now. 
-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren. 
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-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast
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and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise. 
see you all soon!!!
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causticsunshine · 9 months ago
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Attire mission: Purchase premium attire to get an extended romantic story!
Me: *on Liam's route* Romantic my ass! This is a tragedy
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saturnsdaughtr · 3 days ago
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Yes yes yes!! I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. I’ve been apart of both fandoms (1D first, then 5sos) and I can recognize a lot of the differences.
As far as I know, none of the 1D members originally wanted to be in a band; they all auditioned as solo artists on xfactor. 5sos, on the other hand, had the intention of becoming a band in a some way. Now I’m not saying the 1D boys hated being in the band, they clearly enjoyed their time together. It’s just something I’ve noticed.
When you also think about the amount of protection they had, 5sos had someone (Liz) to watch over them and make sure they weren’t being taken advantage of by the industry. As far as we know, 1D didn’t have that and I think that’s one of the main reasons they went through all those things. Liam especially was very open about how being in the band affected him psychologically (all of them were), and it just makes me wonder how different things would have been if they have someone there to protect them.
Also, I believe 5sos is independent (I remember someone said this when their last 2 albums were released. They were talking about how they weren’t getting as much traction and publicity) which has its benefits and limitations. Most importantly, it prevents them from being taken advantage of with record deals, it gives them freedom and autonomy. 1D did not have that, at least not to this extent.
I usually don’t compare 1D and 5sos because I think they have completely different images, but it’s interesting to see their come up and how the music industry has affected them. I’m sure the 5sos members had their own issues with the industry since they also experienced fame at a very young age.
The 1D members were treated very badly from the start, by the industry, the public, even some of the fans. It was definitely because of their management, and the fact they were seen as commodities instead artists. I feel like 5sos enjoy being together because they can actually choose to be in a band and do whatever they want. 1D may have also enjoyed being together, but they absolutely didn’t have the same privileges as 5sos, which seems to have put a strain on them in many ways.
if being in one direction was all sunshine and rainbows, the boys would have come back after that hiatus and zayn would have never left.
behind closed doors, those boys were suffering.
it kills me that i never saw that because all i saw was that they made me happy and surely they were happy too.
that couldn't have been farther from the truth.
this is killing me
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theboost · 6 days ago
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Crown of Candy… it got to me
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acquiescest · 2 months ago
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irt the lrb what would you say if i said liam & noel spent new years 2023 together in paris
what would you say if i said liam bought the house in france (the one with noel's name carved into the walls) in march 2023 and that month noel talked about wanting to spend several months in paris
which could mean nothing
#just making guesses chatting shit talking bollocks you know how it is#if anyone can debunk that first thing pls tell me!#feel like i'm wearing a tinfoil hat and it doesn't vibe with my outfits if y'know what i mean#feel like i should do a timeline but every time i try it gets out of hand#ok have some very messy puzzle piecing:#liam & noel texting/calling from time to time since jan 2020#noel splits w sara spring 2022 starts spending more time in manchester#maybe march mothers day something happened?? possibly liam & noel met up in april??? that's pure speculation though#pretty boy released oct 31 2022 noel stops wearing wedding ring#noel spends christmas in england for the first time in ages#liam listens to the smiths all christmas eve. on christmas he has a party for close friends and family (including bod)#liam and debbie go to france for the new year to house hunt#liam claims on twitter (no one believes him) that noel is with him on new years day#(((he posts a selfie that i uhhh got very tinhatty about.. don't worry about it)))#noel goes to a football game on jan 5 and he is in a very good mood#divorce news jan 14. liam's divorce playlist jan 15. allegedly out drinking together jan 16. noel does promo for new single jan 17#jan 18th liam claims on twitter noel wants to meet up#peggy's 80th birthday end of jan#liam's hip surgery beginning of feb#feb 6th he claims noel's “coming over later to wipe my arse and change the bedding he's a good lad really”#starts slagging noel off for real again in early march (he'd been “nice” since november's pretty boy promo)#news that he bought a house in france#noel does a bunch of promo at the end of march (when the 3rd single came out) some of which didnt air until june when the album came out#there's one interview where he seems very tired and hungover and he blabs about paris for ages#end of march is the 1st time he tells liam to call him. 2 months later he asks (goads) liam again a bunch of times#anyway i probably forgot some liam tweets from jan/feb and i really haven't looked into 2022 or 2021 yet#but yeah it's pretty clear they were hanging out 👁️👁️ jan 2023 and then things soured by march after liam's surgery#(((kinda wonder if noel ghosted him and then was too scared to call))) ←wondering that bc it's exactly what i would've done :/#the christmas eve/day stuff probably means nothing btw but well i'm feeling insane about the new years stuff don't even worry about it
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nerdyfangirlingbooks · 1 month ago
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Genuinely think the biggest piece of advice I could give F1 fans (myself included) is that it's not that serious
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harryshomebaby · 1 month ago
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all of a sudden today everything has kind of just gone silent in my corner of the internet and my friends aren’t on their phones anymore and now im alone
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thelastcase · 7 months ago
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autumnrory · 2 months ago
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i've been going into the liam tag from time to time the last year where both his fans and people who hated him were Weird about him well before there were any allegations so i would get curious, i don't even remember what started it (maybe it was merely looking for photos that update accounts wouldn't post), but i normally try to avoid going into anything but edit tags for people i enjoy bc there are so many nonsense takes
and of course happening to go through today before the news broke bc i wanted to see what was being said about the abuse as i've only gotten bits on twitter and of course there were many posts rightfully calling it out and all but there's that weird mentality which i was getting a lot more of from twitter but some on here where they're like??? celebrating it and girlboss-ing and i'm just like. okay it's great that you're believing a victim but you're making light of it by talking about it like it's just another stan thing, i have seen that time and time again when this kind of stuff comes out and if people already thought that person was annoying or whatever they're just like "oh yes! i knew it! their career is ruined haha!" and it's like. you clearly don't actually care about the horrible things this person has done and just want to brag that you somehow ~knew~ a stranger's vibes were off and it's so beyond gross like you could use that energy to support a person's victims and instead you'll just try to prove you stan the right people and never the wrong ones or whatever
#and then there were. weird ones#some apparent larrie who didn't seem to like either louis or harry#literally the post that popped up was talking about louis knowing he can't stand on his own bc he can't sing like#has he not very much proven he can stand on his own#he's not as famous post 1d as say harry but i doubt he wants to be lol even harry doesn't want to be#he stays off social media and just gets papped sometimes like both clearly thrive on stage just in different ways ya know#so that was just unnecessary and a block#and then someone else not defending liam or anything but talking about how they're probably all horrible to women#and niall and harry apparently cheating on gfs (never heard anything about that not that i think harry's relationships have been real#and it took me a while to realize when talking about niall having songs written about him they probs meant hailee but#idec what those songs are and if they reference cheating so whatever i think i'm out of the loop on rumors and stuff#where i used to always know what was going on with 1d like i wouldn't have even known about liam if not for the fyp on twitter#bc truly i just don't follow people who post about their personal lives anymore not a choice or anything just that the og 1d blogs are gone#but i was like okay even if any of THAT is true why on earth would you put that on par with abuse. why.#cheating is sooooooooo fucking shitty and i truly hate it but like not the same???#oh and saying niall is a bad person for taking a selfie with him even though none of us know what he knew esp at that point like#most of this seemed to be coming out right after the concert like come on#there's just sooooooo much all around of people pretending they know these people personally#both to defend and criticize and it's just like please i love 1d so much i always will#but man like believe victims always but also don't blindly believe every other random rumor you hear#or that you know exactly what's going on behind the scenes bc you don't and you never will#oh and ofc someone wondering about his other exes like tbf we don't know how much addiction and whatnot came into play#so yeah it might not all be recent developments but are you really gonna ask about danielle who as an adult dated 17 year old liam
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jlf23tumble · 2 months ago
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Speaking of retcons. What fans does Liam have to manipulate? Liam has always been the least popular member of 1D and what fans he did have disappeared when his 2018 album got yanked. You can tell that because his most popular music required GP interest. Plus he can’t sustain a UA and there’s no one defending him on Twitter. Every thing goes viral because there aren’t enough accounts to muddy the algorithms with other tweets. It’s the least believable thing Maya has said. That and her descriptions of his team as powerful. A powerful and manipulative team looks like Harry’s. They’ve been sweeping his indiscretions into a very dark corner for years. One day they’ll come spilling out and he’ll have his Diddy moment. His team will have made their money so they won’t care.
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#this is a word salad of hella nonsense#i'll give a few high point answers since you asked--i guess?#1. for whatever fucking reason liam DOES have fans#they are ALL OVER twitter screaming free him and shitting on women like the very best most loyal 1D-ers tend to be right down to today#2. none of these men can seemingly earn a dedicated UA from what i can see which is no surprise since they broke up 10 years ago#(relationship UAs don't count--that's a whole other world but individual ones? i'm friends with the fashion ones#and THEY aren't bothered 'even with' harry lmao)#3. see above about twitter--yes women have come forward talking about what a shitty abusive person Liam is for the gross things he's DM'd#but he has a massive following on twitter and you would goddamned know it/see it (even I am seeing it)#4. and listen harry HAS had women come out and say some pretty damning shit about him#was it abusive? no#was it gross? yes#did anyone listen? no and that was because ewww women...total pick me's cunts etc#u shouldn't listen to them (or Lou T etc)#don't even get me started on how weird it is to act like you can say wahh he's closeted which means he somehow CAN'T treat women like shit#he can--he has--he does! look at who he hires! treats his 'girlfriends'! pick someone supportive amirite! hashtag goals!#but wow the sad trombone louie of it all just bleeds through this ask...it's been a while and anyway ANYWAY here's a UO to get you awf:#i don't think harry styles has been on the 'giving' end of a diddy-style party but the receiving end? MAYBE SO RECEIPTS
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itaipava · 3 months ago
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— f1 boys and their pre race traditions with you.
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˒ ⌕ LANDO NORRIS
a little secret message that only the two of you know: before each race, you write a little motivational or affectionate message and place it in a specific place that you know he will find: like inside his helmet, on his glove, or even on the steering wheel. whenever he sees the little folded piece of paper, he smiles big and reads the message over and over, keeping every word in his heart. he gives a little kiss on the paper and keeps it with him before starting the race, because he knows that this is his little lucky charm.
˒ ⌕ GEORSE RUSSELL
train together; he loves training with you and enjoys every second of it. so, every night before a race, he likes to train with you: it’s nothing serious or competitive, it’s just a moment of distraction and fun with you to relieve the tension that the next day brings. he likes to laugh and talk as much as he can with you, because he knows that these moments, besides being very important to him, bring him a lot of luck for the next day.
˒ ⌕ CARLOS SAINZ
a talisman you both share: he gave you a special bracelet a while back that has always brought good luck to both of you. so, on race weekend, he wears it all the time, but on race day, he gives it back to you as a gesture of trust and love and that he already has all the luck and support he needs for the race. he puts it on your arm and kisses your wrist before kissing your lips, feeling more than ready for the race.
˒ ⌕ CHARLES LECLERC
a lucky charm: a while back he bought two necklaces with a small red pendant for the two of you to match but little did he know that this would become his lucky charm. before every race, you hug him, kiss him and say some motivational words to him which always leaves him with a big smile on his face and his eyes shining. you take the necklace and give the pendant a quick kiss and he sighs deeply because this moment may seem mundane to anyone else but it means the world to him.
˒ ⌕ LEWIS HAMILTON
a quiet moment just for the two of you: he likes to take you to a quiet place where you both have privacy and peace together. he loves to hold you close, stroke your hair or give you soft kisses. he loves this quiet moment with you before the adrenaline takes over his body. sometimes you just stay quiet, sharing a pure atmosphere of love and peace, other times he likes you to talk about whatever comes to your mind or say some motivational words of love to him; he just wants to hear your voice. and whenever he is on the track running or is nervous, he remembers your words, which makes him calm down and remember that you are waiting for him at the end.
˒ ⌕ OSCAR PIASTRI
a song just for the two of you: you both have a playlist together with your favorite songs. he loves listening to it before he starts getting ready or while he’s getting ready: he loves the memories of the two of you that come along with the melody. having you in his mind - and the happy memories of the two of you together - is the best good luck charm he could have.
˒ ⌕ LIAM LAWSON
a walk in the pit lane: on the morning of the race, the two of you take a short walk together through the pit lane, hand in hand. you talk about anything that comes to mind as you walk side by side; this is a way to calm him down and bring him luck, having you by his side brings him the best feeling he could ever have. and, before he gets ready for the race, you give him a hug and a quick kiss, wishing him good luck. it is in these moments that he promises himself to give his best just for you.
˒ ⌕ MAX VERSTAPPEN
the last look; the two of you have a tradition where before he gets in the car, you are always positioned in a specific place where he can see you. the two of you exchange a last look and a gentle wave from afar: a simple gesture but full of meaning for both of you, like a silent reminder that the two of you are together, no matter what happens on the track.
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