#it’s time for some raw emotions

[constant-brain-fog]

one of them days

made a bunch of reaction pics as a way to put my emotions in some kind of drawing ahahah

it be like that sometimes

[good-beanswrites]

My thoughts on how the Milgram mv machine works based on the evidence we have:

(I know there’s been discussion about where exactly the interrogations take place, but wherever they are,) the prisoners are made to sit in a specific chair near the wall that houses the machine.

It’s ordinarily hidden, but the wall panels shift aside to reveal it when the mechanical sounds play in the dramas. As well as the walls moving, the chair transforms to restrain the prisoner and attach whatever it takes to access their brain. The fact that none of the more frightened prisoners try to run or break it makes it seem like they physically cannot. This is why Fuuta sounds so panicked, and why Amane is suddenly helpless in front of Es in their T1 vds.

(My mind conjures very classic sci-fi mad scientist machines with wires, pipes, lights, nodes, needles, etc, but I’d love to hear how other people visualize it.)

In some vds (maybe all? I’d need to check,) you can hear Es take some steps right before their iconic line -- it would make sense that for safety reasons, the power mechanism is placed across the room. Once again it could be anything, but the sound effect makes me think of one of those giant wall-mounted levers you have to pull down.

The voice dramas don’t really provide the type of crime details that an actual interrogation would reveal, and it’s odd that they’re placed before the extraction rather than after Es gets to see the new details. This leads me to believe the machine functions with priming. All Es needs to do is get them talking about their murder, so it’s on their mind.

The video produced is much like a (non-lucid) dream. Even if the prisoners figure out that this is how it works, they can’t control it just by thinking really hard about something else. The murders produce the strongest emotional affect, and that’s what it picks up on. If someone else used the machine, it would default to whatever gave them the strongest emotional reaction in the ~15 minutes beforehand, hence why Es’ video focuses on their daunting task ahead. (The Undercover theory is still a bit loose, though, given the private shots that Es wouldn't have known about). It’s why the videos are usually closely linked to the vd topics/beats. I also like to think that the reason their prisoner colors appear so much is because they’re looking at those colors on their uniform 24/7.

The bell rings to inform Es that it’s the optimal time to use the machine -- the prisoner has been thinking about things for long enough that the video will be about their crime, and if the conversation lasts much longer they’ll start thinking of other things. It’s at a different time for each prisoner because it’s based on the specific conversation. I guess Jackalope is listening in to the interrogation, timing it perfectly. (The only one that kind of messes with this theory is Yonah, because they just keep talking afterwards lol, but it could just show that the interrogation is still in Es’ control.)

Their “Sing your sins” is the final priming nudge to get them to think of their actions as a sin, revealing their guilt.

Once activated, the prisoner enters a sort of trance/sleeping state. It’s very much like REM sleep, with the machine forcibly activating neurons and recording the output. The prisoners have asked Es what they saw, meaning they don’t remember the mvs. I like to think the prisoners do experience the mv in real time, acting as the major version of themself that appears, but can’t remember it afterwards. It’s when you experience a dream, but as soon as you wake up you’re just left with fleeting emotions and memories right on the tip of your tongue.

The video plays immediately upon extraction -- whether on a huge projection or little screen depends on which room it’s in. It simultaneously saves the memory so that Es can rewatch it later (on those old TVs in the jailbreak mix). The machine downloads the song and video together, but requires special parts to retrieve them. The technology is pretty new and fragile, so if one is broken, there might be a delay between when Es can hear the extracted song and see it with the video. (That’s my justification for Kotoko’s delays -- after 9 prisoners the parts wear out, or maybe Mikoto himself overheats it with his complex situation.)

Based on the lack of conversation we get afterwards, I picture Es leaving before the prisoner wakes from the trance. The machine adjusts their brain back to normal before they awaken, restraints freed and able to return to the rest of the prison.

It’s very much like a dream, so it’s not harmful despite the amnesia/head injuries the prisoners have. It does, however, exhaust them. Brain activity alone takes a lot of energy, so forced brain activity with added emotional strain would cause them to feel pretty drained the rest of the day.

[raytorosaurus]

this is another one of the parts of ntlis that really stuck with me :((. part of why it irritates me when ppl overlook the role everyone in the band played to the music's themes and emotions and messages, not only gerard. they all put a lot of themselves into it. it's my chemical romance, not gerard way and the hormones - and lyrics aren't the only way for musicians to express things really deeply and earnestly.

[a-s-levynn]

(source)

[lost-letters-from-atlantis]

I saw you yesterday.

You looked exactly like the person I left an eternity ago. The same air of confidence, the same face, the same haircut. You looked like everything that I've been missing for so long.

Everything that I couldn't have back.

You'd probably hate me if you knew I dared to take a glance at you. Maybe you already know I did.

Did you expect me to look your way one more time, I wonder?

The moment was so short, yet excruciatingly long to me. I couldn't detach my eyes from your figure. Maybe I stared a little longer than I should have. It doesn't really matter. I was gone in the blink of an eye, before you even got the time to notice I was here to begin with.

Like a ghost haunting you.

I'm sorry. I know I should have stayed away. I should have been stronger. I should have left you to your peaceful existence.

But the truth is - and you know it already - I am weak. I have always been.

I don't know how to punch, and I can't take criticism really well, and I collapse when the pressure gets too heavy.

I failed you again.

Nothing new in the end: it's always the same story.

It's always about you and me. It always ends the same. I always cry when I reach the last sentence.

But what can I say?

I miss you, and I've once been told grief never goes away, we just learn to live with it.

I grieve someone still alive. So far away, yet so unbearably close I would only have to extend a hand to touch you.

The idea of returning to you like an abandoned dog finding its way back to the only home it knows seems so alluring at times, because my heart is one of a dog and I don't know how to stop loving the hand that used to feed me.

But I know I can never go back in your arms again, so instead, I leave my door cracked open in hope that you'll step inside and tell me you missed me too.

It never happens.

Yesterday though, I heard the hinges creak almost imperceptibly.

I ran through the house, hoping to see you there, but when I arrived in the hallway, it was dark and silent. The streets outside were empty, and I was alone.

Still, I hoped it was you, because even when it's vain and stupid, I still have faith in you.

I hoped you had seen the door slightly open and had considered entering. I hoped you had hesitated and had decided to make your presence known at last, before running away.

I hoped you hadn't forgotten us.

Of course, yes, it could have been the wind. But it could have been you. The possibility was enough.

I want to keep believing in you. To keep believing that you cared about me too.

Oh, what I wouldn't do for the ghost of you.

I could write hundreds of letters that you'd never read and cry thousands of tears that you'd never wipe away.

I could believe in your return for all eternity and wander aimlessly among the memories of us.

So tonight again, my door will be left unlocked and I will be sleeping with one eye open.

If you ever see it, I hope that you'll step inside and stay.

Please come back to me.

[ducktracy]

what a fantastic transition

[r3dblccd]

I understand why there's gonna be a Silent Hill 2 remake, but I also fear the remake would never hit as hard as the original game

[sorenlionheart]

i am dangerously close to making my own interpretation of superman

[qqqqqqqqqqq0]

i've been having some trouble falling asleep lately

[simplyghosting]

I'm sorry you had to deal with people invalidating your pain when you were a kid

Thank you for the sympathy. I appreciate it.

While I won’t say it’s okay that people did that when I was a kid, and it did leave some lasting damage (both physically and relationship-wise that years later I am still trying to repair), I also don’t regret it happening.

Like yeah, it really sucked, but it also made me stop listening to the “kids over-exaggerate” “you’re too young to be in pain (dismissive)” “kids/teens are just dramatic” “kids just complain because they want attention/bored” rhetorics that I heard all the time. If I hadn’t experienced that dismissal myself, I could have grown up to be unsympathetic towards people as well.

It was a personal experience in learning kids deserve to be listened to and acknowledged, and that youth doesn’t guarantee health, that I don’t think I would have truly learned otherwise.

[eievuimultimuse]

hmmm. AU where link didnt get immediately captured & so he got to deal w/ the culture shock of being displaced 20,000 years in the ''future'' (so to speak) on his own

[gingerbreadmonsters]

[eyes narrow]

[how-about-will]

i like to play survival horror games like resident evil (and to some degree classic DOOM which is very scary with the keyboard only controls and original software rendering but that's a whole other deal) with cheats and god mode and infinite ammo and it's wonderful how well most of these games transition from being pee pants scary games where you have scarce resources to these over the top action games with goofy plot and cutscenes that you cannot take seriously if you really tried because there's cutscenes like one in re4 where leon hits a blinker and it does that silly fucking fisheye on his face. god i love those games

[corneille-moisie]

uuuugh i love schwarz stein so much 😩

[daydreamingoncloud9]

[luxuriant-starlight]

damn. having c-ptsd is fucked up huh