#BUT during his senior year of highschool is when pa dies

[sorenlionheart]

i am dangerously close to making my own interpretation of superman

[damien-mlm]

Chris Alba's Backstory

a little something so that y'all get to know him better

Tw for suicide, various forms of child abuse and SH

Born in Buenos Aires, Argentina; October 31st, 1990. Born first, right before his twin sister, making him the older one. Their parents, Gustavo Alba and Harriet Trent, decided to give the twins their father’s last name, while their mother chose their first names: Cassandra and Christine Alba. After their birth, the family lived in the city for about 8 years, their mother decided it would be a nice gift for the twins to get to know some of the American scenery, so the whole family flew to Arizona to visit the Grand Canyon. 

Ever the mischievous ones, the twins separated from their parents and crossed the safety line, trying to get a better view of the bottom. Some loose dirt that Christine was laying on broke off the edge, sending her down into the pit, but right before she fell, Cassandra grabbed her arm, “MA! PA!” Christine yelled from the top of her lungs, asking for help, while Cassie did her best to try and pull the other twin up from the ledge, though both of their grips were slipping.

Their parents were not fast enough, Cassie’s strength finally gave out and had to watch as Christine fell down, her screams and sounds of her bones cracking loud as she tumbled to the bottom of the Canyon. All of this, just as their parents arrived. Gustavo never recovered, he was devastated, and ended up committing suicide from being unable to cope with the immense grief that was losing one of his daughters, especially when the other one was a constant reminder of how she would look like if she was still here. 

After Gustavo died, Harriet took Cassie with her, and moved to Huston, Texas, her hometown. Harriet blamed Cassandra for it all from the very beginning. To Harriet, Cassandra was a murderer, responsible for her husband’s and daughter’s death, Cassandra was nothing but a monster, and so, she treated her like one.

Cassie also blamed herself, always. From the moment she saw the look of sheer terror in Christine’s eyes as she fell down, Cassandra has done nothing but blame herself for it all, she killed her baby sister, daddy died because he was so sad, so sad because she killed her sister. Cassie also believes herself to be a monster, so not only she accepts her mother’s abuse as well deserved punishment for her actions, she also punishes herself through SH. Cassandra struggles with deep self loathing and depression for the rest of her life, her mother being neglectful and abusive, to the point where she would not care what her boyfriends would do to her child.

After a particular incident, Cassie fled at the age of 13. During this time, he also realized he might not be a girl after all. He was homeless for a couple of months, surviving on his own, wandering around the outskirts of the city. Mom never bothered to go looking for him, but locals notified the authorities of a homeless teen, and so, he was approached by the cops, and taken to an orphanage. “What’s your name?” the desk attendant asked him, to get him enlisted in the files of the establishment. He thought for a second, looking down at his hands. He closed them, clenching his fists, before looking up and answering: “Chris. My name is Chris Alba…” 

Chris had told the social workers what his mother had done and allowed it to be done to him, so he was taken to foster care.

His foster parents lived in California, and they were as loving and as patient as could be, but Chris attempted suicide the night he turned 15. After coming out of the hospital and under close watch of his foster parents and doctors, Chris was able to somewhat recover. He found peace and coped through singing, and even though he took an extra few years to finish highschool, he was always thankful to his music teacher. 

He became a senior in highschool at age 19, graduating at 20 years old. After graduating he disappeared from his foster parents' home, he didn't want to be a bother to anybody anymore, so he went through the country, singing on the streets and offering sexual favors for money. He wandered through the country aimlessly, drowning his sorrows in drunken casual sex in cheap motels. Until he decided he had enough, enough of life, enough of existing, so he made a plan.

His first goal was the home of his father and baby sister's graves, Huston, Texas.

He arrived on a rainy day, and spent most of his pocket money on a bouquet of red roses. He let rain pour down on him as he looked at the two graves, one next to the other, divided the bouquet in two. He sat in the middle, facing both graves and placed the flowers.

"I'll see you again soon, I promise"

He was certain he would, he was seeing them soon, he had to, he needed to.

Arrival to Ambrose

Imma add @rottent33th @slaasherslut @the-pinstriped-hood @moon-of-desire @allthingsblood @vincent-sinclair-deserved-better and @texaschainsawslvt to my taglist, if u want to ask Chris something you are 100% welcome to do so!

Also if u want me to remove/add u to my tag list just lemme know ✨

[antriaus]

I suddenly had this desire to write again for you, Tito.

—

“Taga-AWS ka?”

Probably the most stupid and creepy way to start a conversation with someone. Galing. Stalker agad datingan. Hahahaha! That’s how I introduced myself to (let’s call him) Tito. The awkwardness and curiousity would definitely bring you somewhere in the future pala? Lol

I remember this one instance when my bestfriend and I were talking about people we find interesting in our batch. We were in our ChristmasxAcquaintance Batch Party during that time, and Tito was the photographer. So I just pointed at him and told my bestfriend how I find him interesting. This guy easily caught my attention on our first day of class. Idk how, but I did notice him. Maybe because he’s chinito? Though, I was in a very happy relationship that time. So that was just a harmless, ‘crush.’ Kebs lang, di naman kami close nun.

Tbh, idk anything about this guy that time, except his linkedin and FB profile? Hahaha Actually, I did stalk ALL of my batchmates after our grad school admission result was released. I never thought that this guy, wearing a tux with a blue necktie on his cropped display picture that time, would give this much impact in my life today. Wow. That he could make me write a 10 pages (or probably more) phrase about him and on how he made me feel.

—

This blurred picture perfectly depicts how we are today (or how we’ve always been). It seems we’re not ready yet, as we both would say. Or was it an alibi on how we can’t make this easy?

The random moments with you. The first time we talked, even the time you had a taste of my messed up steak, watched a movie, and just had a conversation (even if I felt so messep up). We were really close.

Conversations. We had lots of these. Always a good talk with you. The twisted, complex, or complicated arguments/claims almost about anything. Raw and unfiltered topics that made us vulnerable, facts and figures that show how nerd you are, and feelings that represent my sensitivity at times. It amazes me that knowing you also made me learn a lot. Like a lot. Great part of this was our Grab rides to school, as we sometimes curse how expensive it is. But I’d never had it in any other way. It was something.

You’re unique. We all are. But I can’t associate any other patterns with you. You’re completely different and it’s interesting.

You’re intelligent. How sexy is that? It turns me on to just know how smart you are. Like if circumstance allowed, I would brag you to everyone. The modest and lowkey guy I know is a consistent valedictorian both in elementary and highschool; who also won a regional-level in MTAP; who was a representative of their school to almost all of the academic contests; who can be tapped unexpectedly for a competition and would still win even if he’s unprepared; and who could pass UPCAT and get a quota course, ECE, in Diliman effortlessly. N2 passer for Japanese Language Proficiency Test. A senior software developer/lead. Practical and prudent with a firm principles and values in life. What else? Yabang noh? Pero lowkey lang sya. He’s really something.

You’re matured. Our 7+ years age gap made sense given the level of understanding on how we perceive things. You’re way ahead of me and it didn’t bother me. Your experiences made you this. Introversion suits you well, as you established everything at your own pace. Maybe that’s why I still don’t get you sometimes. There are times that I feel stupid and reckless, but you’re there to slap the truth hard on my face.

You’re gentle, loving, sweet, practical, and independent. Just typing this makes my heart flutter and makes me teary-eyed. Hahaha maybe I’m just overwhelmed with so much feelings for you that I can’t directly express right now, except to write something? You made me feel special, and it’s amazing:

• The first time I went and tried Mercato with you.

• Our random breakfast together, mostly comprised of sausage mcmuffin/platter.

• How we end up spending our whole day going around Market2x for window shopping, but more of you showing me your fave shops & little discoveries.

• Random lunch/meryenda/dinner dates. KFC, milktea, pizza, potpots, and etc.

• Made me explore Manila on my 25th birthday and got caught by my dad unexpectedly. Lol

• Brought me to an unli-steak restaurant in SM MOA, and explored the perya nearby.

• Went to a roadtrip in Tagaytay right after you arrived from Marinduque.

• Braving the traffic and public transpo from Buendia just to get to Nasugbu, Batangas for our weekend getaway in Pico de Loro Resort.

• Random calls even if you’re miles away. SFO-Manila. How you were coping with routines (laundry, gym, random walks to find bars or just familiarizing SFO streets) and would find it amusing.

• Wanting to see me even after your 12 to 14-hour exhausting flight from SFO. Bringing me your cute shot-latte and chocolates as pasalubong. But you’re the biggest pasalubong, I missed you.

• Reviewing together for our comprehensive exam even if we’re too busy.

• Went to an expensive (napasubo kasi HAHA sorry na!) unli-steak dinner at Westgate, Alabang and showed you where we live. Lol

• How you would offer giving me a ride to school.

• The random P2P rides with you and more of Rodics cravings.

• How you would always remind me to stop believing in MBTI. Not limited to that, you’re always there to remind me and help me out anytime. (This is making me cry. I’m touched.)

• Remembering how I love tapa. Or even helping me out with my cravings.

• How we would both hate having to deal with useless groupmates in class. Hahaha

• Your awkward hugs.

• The sweetest thing you could say to someone (even to your mom) is simply “mwah.”

• Your subtle and korni sweetness. “Me: Ano bang gusto mo?” Tito: “You” And I would still not get it even how many times you do this. Hahaha

and a lot more..

You’re not the most affectionate person I know. We both lack words of affirmation. Nonetheless, all the time I’ve spent trying to understand your love language was worth it. All of it.

I do have feelings for you, I can’t deny that. I’m not even sure why we keep on running in circles. I’ve always been expressive and vocal on how I feel for you. But I still can’t understand the gap.

Was I not enough? Are my assumptions too much? Or were you not clear enough?

Idk. It breaks my heart. Maybe, I stopped caring knowing more about it. Or that’s just it.

—

Dati, nag-post ako about real love.

Pero ngayon, mas naintindihan kong basta kapag nag-mahal ka, kahit walang kapalit, okay na.

Kahit sa tingin mo parang sobra ka at kulang sya, pero so-sobrahan mo pa kasi wala eh, mahal mo.

Masaktan ka man, paulit ulit ulit, mag-mukha ka pang tanga minsan, papalipasin mo sa huli, kasi wala eh, mahal mo.

Kahit itaga mo sa utak mong di ka affected, pero konting ganap lang, sobrang bilis ng impact, kasi wala eh, mahal mo.

Kahit na sobrang pagod ka na, iniyak mo na nga, pinag-dasal mo pa, tuloy ka pa din na parang wala lang, kasi wala eh, mahal mo.

Kahit na hindi man maintindihan ung love language mo, or kulang na sya sa love deposit na alam mong magpapasaya sayo, tatanggapin mo na lang, kasi wala eh, mahal mo.

Kahit na hindi ka araw-araw kausapin, or kamustahin kahit na gusto mo syang kasama lagi, dahil ayaw mo lang matawag na needy or clingy kasi ayaw nya ng ganun, papalipasin mo, kasi wala eh, mahal mo.

Kahit na nakita mo na worst nya at yung trato nya sayo at some circumstance tapos alam mong ayaw mo nun, pero tatanggapin mo, kasi wala eh, mahal mo.

Kahit na ilang beses i-seen, or i-ignore messages/calls mo, tapos tuloy ka pa din sa pagm-message kahit ang sakit sakit sakit na, naisip mo pang mag sulat at alalahanin sya, kasi wala eh, mahal mo.

Kahit na natitiis nyang wag kang kausapin for 1 week+, at kahit alam mong kung mahalaga ka sa isang tao, maglalaan at maglalaan ng oras yan kahit di obligado at gaano pa ka-busy, pero wala iniitindi mo pa din, kasi wala eh, mahal mo.

Kahit ilang beses mo na iniyakan si Lord para sa sagot kung bakit ganito ka-unclear ung between sa inyong dalawa at sobrang toxic na sa puso mo yung setup, pero kahit taliwas ung sagot ni Lord, lumalaban ka pa din, kasi wala eh, mahal mo.

Or kahit na hindi naman kayo at hindi klaro, binigay mo pa lahat lahat kahit maling mali sa prinsipyo mo, at sobrang risky ng uncertainties, pero sumusugal ka pa din, kasi wala eh, mahal mo.

———

12:50 AM nagsusulat ako about sayo, nago-overthink sa bagay na ikaw lang makakasagot, naghihintay sa di ko malaman kung anong bagay.

Hindi ko maisip kung paano napunta sa ganito ung simpleng pagtalikod sayo (ng walang kamalay-malay) para lang tanungin ka ng “Taga-AWS ka?” at malay ko bang ganito pala kahihinatnan ngayon, pero wala eh, mahal kita.

—

Pero sabi ko na lang kay Lord, tulungan Niya ako. I’ll surrender everything to Him and will obey Him this time.

[not-kxthln]

(Perceptions of Senior Highschool Students) K-12 Implementation: Supported by the Senior Highschool Students or not?

 By Louise Talabis, Kathleen Basence, & Michelou Blancaflor

In this fascinatingly frustrating world with predictably unpredictable happenings that requires literacy, numeracy and being techy, quality education is not only vital in every generation but is also critical because it is the determinant of a nation’s success. Furthermore, amidst the government’s different methods on schemes, the environment’s varying mishaps, and the rampant social issues in our dear country, each person, whether white or black, regardless of their status can be one of the rays of hope and the key to better and more developed society as long as they’re given opportunities to attain quality education. Also, because of sufficient and great knowledge due to having quality education, anyone can sagely give their two cents about a particular topic. Be it about politics, economics, environment, one will always have a stand regarding any of the current issues specifically depending on his or her personal belief, religious belief, political belief and culture. In spite of such diversity in voices, beliefs and tradition, we wanted to hear these people out specifically students regarding the very timely implementation of the K-12 program. Don’t we all notice the abrupt shift of our educational system or curriculum? Don’t we have to hear others’ opinion? Bear in mind that a person, especially if exposed to different opinions and ideas and has also learned to look at the world through different eyeglasses, will be more educated.

It was a very a cloudless day and as strong as the hot topics and trending issues nowadays, we felt the scorching heat from the bright rays of the sun, affecting the voluminous students passing inside and outside the campus, audaciously beating the shifting weather, we indefatigably walk in search of different views of people since we wanted to hear diverse point of views of some of the first batch of senior high school students regarding the implementation of the K-12 program because we believe that opinions are varying and that everyone has a right to vent out their thoughts specifically to let the authorities be informed as well of the side of the student about the said implementation. But first, for others who do not know what really is K-12 about, the K to 12 Programs is mandated by R.A 10533, or otherwise known as “Basic Education Act of 2013”. The curriculum of Department of Education covers Kindergarten and another 12 years of education, and aims to provide appropriate time for mastery, development, and preparation for tertiary education and employment which obviously means that the years of studying will be longer than before. Moreover, the student will be required to finish senior year first before he or she can enter college and will only get a certificate when he accomplished his or her junior year. However, if he or she finished senior year he or she can now apply and have a job.

As we all know, there are hundreds of books, movies, and television shows that portray senior year as a time of independence and growth. It is true that once you hit senior year, you are no longer a small fish in a big pond. As a senior, you are a campus leader—it is your responsibility to show underclassmen the ropes. Four years of high school have made you an expert on all things in secondary education, but you may not know what to expect on that first day of senior year and yes, one of our interviewee, Mr. Joseph Paul Roxas, a Senior High School student from De La Salle University-Dasmariñas experienced a lot of dilemma during his Senior Year. Well, the pressure and the stress that he is encountering today doubled compared to other senior high students because he is also an athlete, a Volleyball player to be exact. According to him, the additional 2 years of K-12 is good for them and it is beneficial because, it can help them to be more prepared to the enter college years. He also said that it will help them to gain new knowledge in different things. But for him, there are also some disadvantages of being an athlete. He told us that there are a lot of tasks, homework to be passed and because of that he cannot longer play his sport, volleyball. During the last part of our interview, JP also shared to us that K-12 does not help him to develop his skills in terms of volleyball because according to him, their Physical Education in K-12 offers only the basic skills. Upon hearing this, we were surprised since we didn’t know until now that it’s only the basics being taught. Come to think of it though, maybe the reason is that these sports were already taught during the high school years and maybe they think that senior year should be more focused on career- development and academics but it is safe to say that students should really be the ones to adjust in situations and changes like this and that time management is a significant trait that a student should possess.

Life is a balance as most people believe. Most of the time balancing can be an easy, like putting fewer things on the bag the better. But sometimes the idea of putting more in the bag can bring great satisfaction when achieving it all. Another student-athlete, Earl Vergara, knew this but at the same time he knew that balancing it with his academic responsibilities could bring him a hard time. He is from the University of Perpetual Help-Jonelta senior high school basketball team and in his four years in the game, Earl Vergara plays a big role in the team. He also brought a lot of praise and respect to his school. During the interview we learned that, since his first year, it is really his choice to pursue his talent in basketball not only to satisfy himself but also to lessen the amount of his tuition fee but now that he is experiencing the new curriculum of the Department of Education called K to 12 program and it was hard for him to swallow the reality of an additional 2 years in high school.  “Beneficial naman ang program na yun para sa mga student na di na tutuntong sa college at ang goal ay makapagtrabaho na agad” said Vergara when asked if he thinks that the program is beneficial. Also according to him, his plans in college didn’t really change despite the amendment of their curriculum. He believes that he will be more equipped and capable to balance his career in basketball and responsibilities as a student when he enters college.

“Ang tanging sagot lang is you should know what to put at the top of your list. Prioritize academics above all. Hindi naman kailangan na nasa top 10, ang mahalaga ay yung alam mong may natututunan ka kasabay ng pag gawa mo ng kung ano yung gusto mo.”  Hearing that first hand is a good thing to know from student athletes like him- prioritizing academics above all since as we all know, student athletes are sometimes being generalized as students who chooses sports over academics. However, by reason of him, we can see the bigger picture that there are indeed students who still know how to set and handle their priorities right. Also, we were amazed that passion really is an agent in pursuing your other goals in life. As for him, basketball helped him get discounts in his tuition. Showing that there will always be a way to achieve quality education no matter what the hindrance is. As other people would say, “If there’s a will, there’s a way”.

Education is possible regardless of the circumstance- that is what this student made us remember. She is Clarisse Banasihan, a consistent honor student from Tungtungin Putho Integrated National Highschool. “Nung una po, siyempre, parang ang inisip namin agad ay yung negative part na may two years na naman so parang inisip naming lahat na matagal pa pero nung inexplain kung ano talaga yung pinaka purpose ng K-12 naging panatag na naman tsaka okay na” Banasihan said when asked about her thoughts about the program’s implementation. “For cons po kasi don sa mga di naman nakakaangat angat, ang iniisip nila kasi nung nalaman nila, iniisip nila na gastos, gastos na naman pero nung pinaliwanag na yung 2 years na yun kahit wag na magcollege and ready ka na rin naman magtrabaho after non” she said when asked about the cons of the K-12 program. We also found out that her mother is the only one who provides for their family after her father who was a pedicab driver died about two years ago. She shared that she is really motivated to finish her studies but as she has mentioned earlier, because of financial problem, instead of choosing the academic track or strand Humanities and Social Sciences or HUMSS, she chose the strand General Academic Strand or GAS instead since it is cheaper in terms of expenses and it is for those who still can’t decide what particular strand to take. “Okay naman po kasi nakatulong po sa pagpili ko ng gusto ko talaga, madami lang po talagang activities na pinapagawa compared nung junior high po ako”. The first thing that came up to our minds upon hearing this is that requirements and deadlines are certainly what a student life is in a nutshell then again all of us should consider this as a stepping stone towards our goals in life.

Besides, all dreams whether whimsical or practical, realistic or idealistic are attainable nonetheless. The process, however, may be arduous but consider it as a boundless marathon wherein you can reach the finish line despite the number of pitfalls you will encounter in pursuit of that dream. Notwithstanding the diversity in perceptions, we were satisfied by the fact that the senior high students we interviewed are optimistic and passionate. They’re all goal-orientated, focused and determined to attain quality education that showed in their support in the implementation of the K-12 program. Overall, we are delighted to know that the positive feedbacks are more than the negative thoughts about the K-12 program.