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venomwrites · 2 days ago

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The second time CaitVi makes love

Warning: Spoilers for everything.

She stops responding to Vi.

Every time she hears the name the voice fades into her sister screaming. One of the fancy doctors who come to examine her call it a trauma response. He says things like time and tries to hand her a bottle of white pills which she checks into the fireplace. It floods the room with acidic smoke that sets off one of the fancy alarms hidden everywhere. She can’t believe they were going to make her swallow those.

Pilties can be so fucking weird.

Everyone around her calls her Violet seamlessly. Thankfully they drop the ‘Miss’ just as quickly as the ‘Vi’. She’s not sure who she is anymore but ‘Miss Violet’ sounds like a cartoon character. Like one of the fancy ladies that come by in the first few days with armfuls of flowers and wish Caitlyn—and only Caitlyn—a speedy recovery. She hears one of them talk about how brave she is to have fought so many monsters.

She doesn’t listen after that.

When you stop using a muscle it atrophies. She blows out some part of her throat on that ledge. The less fancy doctors who triage her say she shouldn’t try to talk. She doesn’t. She has nothing to say. She knows if she opens her mouth she’s going to tell them—no beg them—to take her back to the ledge. To let her go the same way they went. Her entire life has been about getting back her family. She came so fucking close. All she had to do was fall with them and she couldn’t even manage that.

“Good morning, Violet.”

Caitlyn’s voice is soft when it pulls her. Everything, every fucking thing she’s willing to do, Caitlyn gets done. It makes her head spin. Care has always been a matter of money and resources. Usually when there are none. But Caitlyn doesn’t care. She would think it was because of money, but then she remembers this is the same woman who traded her one weapon for a potion to save her life. The money helps but she’s pretty sure this is just Caitlyn.

Caitlyn’s a shadow in her peripheral for a long time. She’s so patient, so anticipatory, she can see why she’s a sniper. Caitlyn brings doctors to the house to examine whatever part of her she’ll allow. None of them push her to do anything. If they aren’t there one day, they are back the next and the day after. Until she pulls her shit together enough to let them poke at her shoulder or press a ball into her mangled fingers to build strength.

She doesn’t know what that strength is for.

She doesn’t know what’s changed today. But when Caitlyn greets her in the morning she manages to look up. Surprise makes Caitlyn’s eyes go wide. Or the eye she can see anyway. The corners her lips curl up but one looks normal. The other doesn’t go up as far. Before she can stop herself she’s on her feet. Caitlyn’s smile falls as she quickly steps forward as though to help and then stops herself. When she thinks about it, she can’t remember the last time anyone who wasn’t a doctor touched her.

“You’re hurt,” she blurts out.

Caitlyn’s stares at her in shock. Tears flood the eye she can see. Quickly Caitlyn turns around and mumbles something to herself. Some instruction she’s been given by one of the fancy doctors. They hover around here enough, though she never bothers with what they do when she ignores them long enough to get them to leave.

“Yes,” Caitlyn says, plastering on a fake ass smile, “but I’m better now.”

“Liar,” she says and it really does fucking hurt to talk, “your eye.”

“Gone,” Caitlyn says simply. Like she didn’t loose a fucking eye. How long did that take? It occurs to her that she has no idea what day it is. How long has it been since they fell? “I’m fine,” she says, “really. Would you like some tea?”

When she first dragged Caitlyn home and tea was produced, she had no idea it was the solution to everything to the Kirammans. It appears after every doctors appointment, every nightmare. She can barely go to the bathroom without someone shoving a cup under her nose.

She likes the dark ones the best. Even though sometimes they make her feel like crying. They smell like a fancier version of what Vander would drink on late nights. Fancier and stronger. Strong enough to make her shove her nose in the cup and inhale. Maybe if she breathes in hard enough she can will him back.

The cup Caitlyn shoves at her isn’t that. It’s sharper and green. Caitlyn stares at her so she takes a sip. It’s familiar but she can’t place how. Caitlyn must have given it to her before. There’s something sweet in it that feels so good on her throat. She could care less about the taste when it seems to coat her throat like that.

“Thanks,” she tries out and the word sounds something like her. Caitlyn inclines her head and lets out a shaky breath, “how long?”

“Four months,” Caitlyn says.

It’s been four months. She went seven years without seeing her sister. Seven fucking years. But she had hope. There was a chance. It’s been four months and she will never see her again. Her stomach churns at the thought. Caitlyn is immediately there, one hand reaching for the fancy ottoman in front of her. Like she has no idea where it is even though this is her fucking house.

“Was there—a memorial?” She asks. Did she miss it?

“A public one,” Caitlyn says, “for the fallen. We thought we could do something for them when you’re ready.”

Of course they weren’t included. Jinx helped but they didn’t save the world. And that thing that used to be Vander didn’t save anyone. But Jinx saved her. She sacrificed herself so she could live. She knows that counts for nothing compared to all the heroes out there, but the unfairness of it makes her chest twist. Caitlyn’s hand hovers for a moment before it settles on her shoulder.

“Ekko took what he could find back,” Caitlyn continues, “he said to let him know when you were ready.”

She’s never going to be ready.

They are already on the wall. She is too. All five of them clustered together like it should be. But now they are gone and she is sitting here still breathing. Unable to even die right. She thought she was used to loneliness. She thought she even knew what it was to be hopeless. All of those were just light versions of the yawning hole in her chest. The only grounding thing is Caitlyn’s hand on her shoulder.

Caitlyn is still here.

She reaches out and Caitlyn immediately covers her hand, bringing it to her cheek. Caitlyn’s skin is smooth and warm and wet. Caintlyn’s been crying. She forces herself to take in the shadow under her eyes, the hollowness of her cheek. Caitlyn’s been worried and not taking care of herself. She wonders if it’s been worry about her. Given how relieved she looks, she thinks it might have been.

“Sorry,” she says.

“Don’t apologize,” Caitlyn says, “for anything. Violet I’m so sorry.”

The words burn but she’s not a coward. Not in this moment. She cups the back of Caitlyn’s neck. Caitlyn leans forward and she tries to be gentle when she rests her forehead against hers. Caitlyn leans into the touch and lets out a shuddering breath.

She was going to roll. Sister’s sacrifice be damned. She was.

But Caitlyn.

Caitlyn.

“I couldn’t—“ she forces out.

“I know,” Caitlyn says, “Vi—“

The name slips out and burns across her skin. But it’s not her sister screaming it. It’s Caitlyn. Screaming and begging her to take her hand. To come back to her. To please, please come back. It would be so easy to roll over and fall. But she’s never done anything easy. So she lurches to her feet and staggers towards the sound of Caitlyn screaming. Their hands lock and Caitlyn pulls her back with a pained yell, right before the metal gives.

Now she’s in Caitlyn’s arms and she doesn’t know how she’s supposed to reconcile that with wanting so badly to fall.

“It hurts,” she forces out and Caitlyn makes a pained sound.

“I know,” she says. She does, “I know. It won’t always feel like this.”

Caitlyn’s fingers dig into the base of her neck. When she matches Caitlyn’s next exhale, she realizes how tight they are. It’s several breaths before she can relax them at all. Four months. Four months and a lifetime more. She tells herself it’s another impossibly big goon. All she has to do is set her jaw and drive through. But driving through has always been for a purpose. If she’s strong enough, hits hard enough, she can get back to her family.

But Caitlyn holds her there.

And she lets her.

She talks more, though not a lot. Most days she meets Caitlyn for all the meals. Some days they exist on tea and flat gold biscuits. One day the biscuits have chocolate on them. It’s creamier than any chocolate Vi has every tasted. She eats because if she doesn’t, they will get her nutrients through bags and tubes. But the chocolate explodes on her tongue and she reaches for another without thinking.

“You’ve been holding out on me, Cupcake,” she says at Catilyn’s surprised face.

“I have not!” Caitlyn objects, “I didn’t know you liked them.”

It’s the most normal she’s felt in months. She can’t say she belongs here, but it feels damn close with Caitlyn looking indignant over her manners. The thought of doing something just to make her blush more crosses her mind. And for a moment, everything seems alright. Her mind doesn’t drag to the ledge immediately. To her sister staring up at her as she knocks out the gem. As she falls.

Caitlyn’s thumb against her lip rips her attention back to the present.

Their contact has been more frequent. To the point where stretches without brushing against Caitlyn’s hands or shoulders make her fingers twitch. But there’s been no contact like this. It catches her off guard and it seems to do the same with Caitlyn. Her eyes widen in surprise but when Caitlyn goes to pull he hand back, she catches her wrist and holds her hand there. Caitlyn doesn’t pull back.

She brushes her lips against Caitlyn’s hand.

Caitlyn lets out a shuddering breath that stirs something in her. She tastes the chocolate from her lip that decorates Caitlyn’s thumb. Caitlyn’s fingers curl against her cheek, blunt nails against her skin. She remembers them digging into her back, clutching at her hair, clutching at her hand and screaming not to let go. To stay, stay with her. The screaming echoing in her ears makes her try to turn away but Caitlyn is suddenly on the same chair, her other hand on her cheek.

“I keep hearing them,” she confesses, “I keep hearing you,” Caitlyn’s thumbs brush over her cheekbones, “I keep choosing--“ she forces her eyes open to look at Caitlyn, “it’s always you.”

She doesn’t understand. All she ever wanted fell down that shaft. And every time, every time she thinks of Caitlyn. Thinks of all the blue haired soldiers she pulled off the field who made her heart seize. The ones who weren’t her but could have been. She thinks of how it would feel for Caitlyn to find her body at the bottom of the shaft. She thinks of the scream that always catches in her throat when Powder says she’s gone. She fell down a well.

So she lets the scream out and stays on the ledge.

“I don’t want to fall.”

“I won’t let you,” Caitlyn swears, her fingers sliding around her ears, cupping the back of her skull, “I won’t,” she says in the voice that moves mountains, “stay with me.”

She nods against Caitlyn’s forehead. She is trying. Gods is she trying. Caitlyn is asking her to fight. Her partner is asking her to fight. Her will feels as atrophied as her muscles but she shoves at it with everything she can. She focuses on Caitlyn. Not the screaming one who pulls her back. The one in front of her who has their foreheads pressed together so tightly she can feel the strap of her eyepatch digging into her skin. Who has given her the one thing she’s never had. A soft landing.

She tastes tears on Caitlyn’s lips when she crushes their mouths together. Caitlyn gasps around her lips and she pulls the same breath into her lungs. It feels like the first breath she’s taken since the ledge. Maybe since the last time she kissed her. Caitlyn tries to follow but it’s only a moment before her lips turn greedy against hers. Something in her sings at Caitlyn doing something for herself after months.

“Here,” she mutters into her skin.

“Yes,” Caitlyn breathes.

Her fingers hesitate at the patch straps. Caitlyn presses her fingers to it in silent permission, her other eye still closed. She guides it off carefully. There’s no eye left. Gold lines fan out around the skin. She brushes a finger against them and Caitlyn’s breath catches, her hips jerking. Silco’s mismatched eyes flutter though the back of her mind and she shoves the thought away. Instead she brushes her lips against the gold on Caitlyn’s skin.

“Vi,” Caitlyn moans her nickname into her ear and the thaw in her chest burns hotter.

“Again,” she whispers against Caitlyn’s neck, half plea half demand.

“Vi,” she repeats, “Vi, please.”

It feels like coming home. When Caitlyn’s under her like this, everything ceases to exist. Her world narrows until the only thing in it is the woman in front of her. Or underneath her. Nothing else matters. Only Caitlyn. It caries like a current. Like a promise. Everything has changed so much. She has changed. But that feeling still lives in her chest. Buried, frozen, but it is there. Caitlyn drags it to the surface with every sweep of her fingers and gasp of her name. She doesn’t know what this is, if this is love. If this has a name.

She just knows right now it’s the only thing that makes sense.

Later she inspects the new marks that litter Caitlyn’s body. The narrow line on her gut is the one that stands out. The others are mostly surgical but this one, this one is from a lethal shot. Someone wanted her to die slowly and painfully. Caitlyn has her own ledge. They all do. Caitlyn meets her questioning look as she thumbs the scar.

“This before or after the eye?”

“Before,” Caitlyn says, “the eye was a—a calculated move.”

“It’s your fucking eye,” she points out. There’s a note of pride in Caitlyn’s voice. The kind of pride that comes with winning a battle, “that’s pretty badass, Cupcake,” she says.

“I have a prosthetic,” Caitlyn says. She is still focusing on the gut wound, “if this makes you uncomfortable—“

“Why would it do that?” Caitlyn shrugs, “who said it makes them uncomfortable,” she asks, looking around as though the offending party might be in the room with them.

“No-one,” Caitlyn assures her, pushing her fingers through her hair, “but you—“

“I don’t care,” she says. Caitlyn tilts her head, “I don’t fucking care,” she repeats, emphasizing the words like she did in the cell. She touches the gold lines, “what about these?”

“I needed to find you,” Caitlyn says. Like that makes sense. She blows out a breath and pushes herself up to her elbow, “I had Mel stop the bleeding.”

When Caitlyn parts her eyelid the socket is laced with gold. She vaguely remembers the gold dressed counselor. Now with a lot more gold on her. She was there on the ledge. There during the fight. Gold light spills from her hands into a thousand different shapes. Caitlyn had her put that light in her eye. All so she could get to her. Caitlyn’s gives her a puzzled look. It’s been so long since she smiled but she feels her lips tug.

“So you went from one tiny leg scar to getting your wounds magically cauterized to find me?” She says.

Even though she’s naked under her, now Caitlyn goes cherry red.

“Oh—“ Caitlyn starts.

“That’s hot, Cupcake,” she cuts in.

Caitlyn looks up at her and the burning thaw is back. It’s hot and it’s humbling. She’s spent her whole life chasing. Begging. Desperate for the ghosts to stay so things can go back to when they made sense. But everything keeps falling away. Except, except Caitlyn. Caitlyn shoves gold in her wounds and charges up stairs when she shouldn’t be walking. She’s seen Caitlyn climb. She sucked at it when she had two eyes. Several times she stopped and went pale at the manageable height. But none of that stopped her. She didn’t even know she was alive and Caitlyn did all of that on the chance she might be.

“I think I was waiting for you,” she tries. Caitlyn drags her fingers through her hair. It feels nice, “no I was, I kept thinking of you finding me.”

“Thank you for waiting,” Caitlyn says.

She thinks of the months it’s been. Of Caitlyn’s endless patience. Pulling her back time and time again. She thinks of the cell and Caitlyn’s smile. Not all the guards were needed back then but Caitlyn sent them away. For her. She’s always been the one to fight. It’s who she is. But for the first time it feels like she hasn’t been fighting alone. Like if her strength fails, the entire world isn’t going to fall away.

For the first time, there’s someone to pick up the slack in the way she needs.

“Can you get a message Ekko later?” She asks. Caitlyn’s fingers pause.

“Yes,” Caitlyn says, “it’s alright if you’re not ready.“

“I’m never going to be ready,” she admits, “but I need to,” she looks up at Caitlyn’s eye, “will you come with me?”

She knows it’s an ask. Despite the fragile whatever between them, Caitlyn spent so much time hunting her. But Jinx’s words echo in her ears. Be happy. Don’t worry about me. Even with everything her mind she saw that clearly. Salt stings her eyes. Even as she turns into Caitlyn’s skin and tries to ground herself, the gentle words echo in her head.

Caitlyn’s warm pulls away momentarily. Only Caitlyn’s hand on her head keeps her from protesting. Then Caitlyn is behind her, folding herself around her. She’s safe and warm and home. Caitlyn slots their bodies together until there’s no space between them, even as she curls up. Caitlyn follows and bands her arms around her.

“Of course I’ll be with you,” she swears, “stay here with me, Vi.”

So she folds her arms over Caitlyns and laces their fingers together.

And again she chooses to stay.

#vi #caitlyn kiramman #caitvi #arcane spoilers #cait x vi #arcane #vi x cait #vi POV

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peatorice · 1 day ago

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This will be an analysis of Arcane's conclusion mostly from a thematic standpoint, and stablishing one of the keys to this: Jinx is alive, if you also interpreted it like that you can skip to the next paragraph, otherwise here’s why I think that’s the case: Cait has the monkey head of the grenade and is looking at the projects of the place where Jinx blew up (implying she didn’t found a body) and has a little smile when she notices Jinx probably fled, and there’s also a pink trace right before the explosion. One of Powder’s first lines is saying "one day I’ll ride one of those" looking at an airship just like the one from the ending (a take that seems very random otherwise), and the "the end" card has her aesthetics, all of that right after a speech that ends with "Our story isn’t over yet", I don’t even see it as ambiguous to be very honest.

Jayce says that Viktor has always been trying to fix what he deems as "imperfections", characterizing his lack of self-acceptance as what fuels many of his actions, which is similar to Jinx: labeling herself with the nickname that reduces her to her mistakes, a self-destructive way to take agency over her own self-loathing, and as "Silco" puts it in her hallucination when imprisoned, it became a box that confines her sense of self. Jinx and Viktor can’t handle flaws, one reduces herself to them in desperation, and the other wants to sacrifice everything else for "cleansing".

Jayce and Ekko stand opposite to Viktor and Jinx as contrasting views about the core of Arcane, very clearly put in Viktor’s speech at the end of Act 5: The good and the bad often come from the same source, be it in the sense of emotions, intentions and the capability for them or in the form of cycles and causality, opposites are what enable each other, and this friction is what makes us human even in the most basic level, like trying to balance reason and emotion. Viktor and Jinx see this negatively in their own ways, while Jayce focuses on how this makes us human, and Ekko focuses on how even with this conflict there’s always space for the good to flourish, the basis is pessimism vs optimism in the face of the world’s inner workings.

Ekko here also stands opposite to Caitlyn’s words to Jinx, about how there’s no way to erase your mistakes (another unhealthy way of dealing with imperfection), which reenforced an idea Jinx already had and surely enabled her suicide attempt (that also carries her hopelessness for the state of the world in general, as framed in her hallucination with Silco saying the cycle started way before him and Vander).

When Ekko comes to stop her, he carries with him the fact that things didn’t have to be that way, that there’s still a human being beyond the storm inside Jinx’s head. She notices the monkeys on his device while he says that "it’s never too late to build something new, for someone worth building it for", just by that she at least understands that she has something to do with Ekko’s words, and that to him she is the one worth building something for, like Vi is to her, and ultimately it’s for Vi that she comes back (she tells her "Even worlds apart, I'll always be with you", implying that Ekko did told her what he lived and she's carrying all of it with her). As always human connection is the key to everything she does.

Her conclusion is bittersweet: She’s able to get rid of the "Jinx" identity, to take a leap forward while leaving some things behind, to search for a new path... But she doesn’t think she could do that in Zaun or Piltover, as she noticed Vi will never let go of her, and there she’s already a symbol with too much history and mistakes, she breaks the cycle of conflict not by dying in a literal sense, but by leaving her old life behind and starting anew, far from the rotten soil where she grew in.

This also parallels the alternate Powder’s conclusion, she says she doesn’t want to “lose what makes her herself” (talking about the life she had at that moment being what keeps her from using her talents for greater things), but when witnessing Ekko’s departure, everything they talked about resonates in her heart. To me the take of the gemstones she has kept implies that Powder will use them to fulfill her potential, accepting to take a step beyond the “identity” that became a box, and accepting reality’s imperfection of this step having a cost. “To take a leap forward you have to leave some things behind” really summarizes the conclusions of both of her versions.

Jinx’s decision of trusting her own potential to help (a direct contrast to her trauma of always ruining everything when trying to help) is what allows Piltover to resist, and for that and her bringing more zaunite forces, Zaun ends up receiving a seat at the council.

The social struggle isn’t over, it isn’t that simple (and to somehow end it the show would need way more seasons focusing solely on that, this is not a story about a cathartic revolution for a model society, even with the critiques of how things are being essential), but Jinx did manage to help Zaun get a louder voice, a better path to the future than by Viktor’s "cleansing", and politically a more realistic step considering the story’s scope and focuses (and how things work on our own world, with all the unfairness that comes with it. The final speech makes it clear that the remaining problems are treated as problems, they don't need to be thoroughly solved to be framed critically, one of the main messages is exactly how things will never be perfect but that doesn't mean that they're hopeless).

Viktor’s mistake was trying to erase everyone’s identities as a way to eradicate the existence of flaws, Jinx’s mistake was confining her identity to flaws, when both of them become able to accept imperfection as part of their own humanity and look at a possible future despite of it, they achieve the necessary balance in their hearts.

Arcane is bittersweet, full of opposites that rarely get everything their way, an ending that’s fully happy or fully tragic wouldn’t fit as well as this one did. I loved what we got and can’t wait for this team’s next project exploring this universe.

#arcane #jinx #viktor arcane #arcane jayce #ekko arcane #ekko #jinx arcane #league of legends #analysis #netflix #jayce talis #piltover and zaun

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a-couple-of-notes · 2 days ago

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What are your thoughts on poly coven and if you do have have any what would the dynamic be?

You folks really want that Agatha All Along fic about all the different dynamics, don't you? 😂😂😂 (Referencing this ask--although I suppose I have no way of knowing whether this is the same anon. Thank you for the ask regardless!)

I enjoy poly coven, although I haven't read much of it! In my mind, there are two general ways to approach this: one where Billy functions as their non-romantic glue (the Billy-has-seven-moms approach) and one (more interesting imo) where we nix Billy altogether and let it be a true dumpster fire.

Billy Has Seven Moms:

The single thing they all agree on (no one believes Agatha when she equivocates, and Rio doesn't snarl about it, which is as close to agreement as they'll get) is that the kid comes first.

Agatha and Jen both provide a practical kind of mentorship: technical magical study, potion-making, spells. They snark at each other during lessons ("What happened to 'presenting a united front'?" says Agatha) and if Jen doesn't back off, Alice, Billy, or Lilia step in to stop it from going all the way downhill. Agatha and Jen fuck it out later.

Lilia mentors Billy in history, tarot, and witch culture--all the soft skills that Agatha and Jen aren't proficient in. She enjoys the quiet respect that all of the coven, but especially Billy and Alice, holds for her. She and Alice trade off nights cooking; Lilia's go-to recipes are old Sicilian favorites.

Alice is Billy's Normal Stable Person (TM), a fact that at one point sends Alice into a panic spiral that Agatha and Jen have to drag her out of. She's the one Billy comes to when he needs someone who understands what it's like to be a kid on your own--when he's having a tough time with someone else in the coven, when he's feeling overwhelmed by the sheer number of mothers in his life. Alice teaches him guitar, and then, very hesitantly, protection spells passed down to her from Lorna.

Rio mopes around like a disgruntled housecat, never quite looking at Billy. The only time she does is when Billy announces he wants to make a Sharon Davis memorial garden. She doesn't help, of course, not in any way that Billy sees. But she does watch.

Of course, this well-oiled mentorship program works only as long as Billy is with them on the timeshare schedule. As soon as he's gone, it's like a ghost house with five roommates who hate each other's guts. If they still have separate places of residence, they all leave (except for the times when Jen is so annoyed with Agatha they bang first). If they actually do live in the same house, they all go into their separate rooms.

Then they seek each other out in pairs or trios, depending on what they want. Alice and Jen seek each other out when they want a normal date night; Rio seeks Lilia when she wants to talk shop about the old days; Agatha seeks Alice when it's been a hard day and she wants someone to be quiet about it. (Although let's be real: if Agatha's seeking someone out, it's also usually to fuck.)

Sometimes these pairs have a good time together; other times it turns into a fight that someone else cleans up. Lilia keeps count.

The only time the whole coven joins together sans Billy is when there's a threat. Usually to Agatha. Sometimes (futilely) to Rio. It always ends in massive property damage and murder, and there's an 80% chance the five of them have messy wow-we're-all-still-our-version-of-alive-sex afterward.

Agatha makes lots of divorce jokes.

No Billy, Just Chaos:

It's worse.

You know, I'm not even gonna bulletpoint this out because it's slowly growing into its own fic idea, but--in a poly coven where there's no Billy, everything happens a lot quicker and dirtier. (This is also because it veers wildly off-canon, and we're dealing with these characters before they've arced out. You know, the nasty, messy versions of them.)

Of course there's still got to be something forcing them together--soulmarks! Billy dies in episode 4 and leaves them in a crumbling Road illusion! The Salem Seven invade Westview and they all pick the same hiding spot!--but the thing keeping them together would not then be a kid. It would not be someone with a good heart they all care about. It would be one of Agatha's freakishly charismatic cons, utter fear, or a combination of both. Thus, everyone would spiral toward their most feral selves fast.

To wit: Jen and Agatha skip straight to the hate sex, Rio gets amused and jealous and jumps in. Alice, having no kid to protect, focuses her efforts on Lilia (the coven's elder) and Agatha (the coven's leader). This brings Alice directly into the snare that is Rio/Agatha/Jen, becoming--if we're being kind--their right hand and--if we're being truthful--their pet. Lilia considers herself above this weird fucked-up power tangle, but she and Rio have centuries of history, and Rio is almost as good as Agatha at annoying people into making bad decisions. It would be terrible. It would be glorious.

#agatha all along #agatha harkness #jennifer kale #alice wu gulliver #rio vidal #lilia calderu #ask #thanks for the ask anon!

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shatcey · 3 days ago

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Dark IF (Harrison)

William Harrison

@.archiveikemen made a wonderful translation of the prologue to this event. I recommend reading it in advance so that there are no questions about how we got into this story.

@.kurishiri has compiled an amazing masterlist on this event. I'm doing summaries, so I'm not there. If you prefer to read the full translation, you have that option as well. Not necessarily for this story… This is the main reason why I'm making a summary to fill in the missing parts.

Before I start, I wanna say that for some magical reason (I believe it's fate) I read two stories in which Victor and Harrison are present. And it feels like I'm reading a continuation of the same story. To some extent, this is true. Ally, it's not what you think. I mean, I was destined to read those two stories, not that Vivi or Harry… I don't even wanna finish this sentence…

(clears throat)

This time… there is no feeling that we should read bitter ending first. This is a completely different ending, and it seems final, nothing will remain after it. It's very sad, and if you don't wanna cry, I recommend scroll to the premium one.

Warning(!!!): blood and mention of death.

Kate is running after someone. The glass slipper slipped off her foot, as expected, and the magic changed her dress, but it's not that important. She's running after someone… She follows him into the woods and looks around. There's no one there, and she can't see the castle lights anymore.

Suddenly, a voice asks her why she is here. She looks in that direction and meets the gaze of bright green eyes. Kate honestly replies that she followed him. He looks stunned. Then she asks what his name is. He replies that it is the lying Fox Harrison. Kate thought he looked gloomy when he said that. When he asked her why she followed him…

Here we go… our continuation of William's bitter ending…

Harrison looked surprised for a moment. Kate tried to remember where she might have met him, but she couldn't remember anything. He replied that yes, it is (a liar). But Kate couldn't stop wondering why she was feeling so nostalgic…

He offered her to walk her home, and on the way she talked about herself non-stop. How she appeared here, what she has to looking for, he listened to her very carefully, but he didn't seem to want to talk about himself.

When Kate saw her house in the distance, she suddenly felt lonely and upset. When he said goodbye and turned to leave, Kate grabbed his sleeve. It seemed to her that if she let him go now, she would never see him again.

He asked her if she hadn't talked enough. No, that's not the case, she wanted to thank him for listening to her so attentively. She asked him if she could see him again.

No, no, no, mister! It won't work with us. She remembers you, sort of, and we all know there's nothing to hate you for.

Kate agrees with me and tells him the same thing (the last part). And she added that, of course, she continues to look for what is missing, but she would like to see him every day and talk about casual things so that she can forget about her problems. She thinks that only in such moments she can become herself again. The silence drags on, and she sadly asks if that means "no". But he patted her on the head and add...

You're not stalking her, are you? It's not that creepy if it's you, but still… It's very suspicious that you'll show up as soon as she calls you.

Finally, he released his sleeve from her grasp and left, saying "good night, Kate."

Kate returned to her room. In my opinion, it's too decent one for the Cinderella. She writes in her diary about what happened to her. She has been keeping a diary since she came to this world. By the time she finished writing about the ball, the pages had run out. And she started a new diary with a description of the meeting with Harrison.

And suddenly Kate realized that she didn't remember telling him her name… How does he know that?

A week later

Kate calls his name in the woods. Harrison said irritably: "Again?". Kate remembers that since the day they met, she has been calling him every time something happens to her. He pointed out that she shouldn't spend so much time with him. She still hadn't found what was missing. She feels pang of guilt, but assures him that she is doing her best.

He took the basket she was carrying and asked if she was going on a picnic today. He led her to a beautiful field of flowers.

He mentioned that the prince had been looking for someone recently. The woman who wore the glass slippers. No way! We're in Cinderella, and the prince was looking for someone? Who could it be?

Kate thinks he was looking for her. And in a happy ending, she should marry a prince. And maybe if she gets a happy ending, she'll find what was missing. She noticed how concerned Harry looked and changed the topic.

She can't remember the lying Fox in the Cinderella. No one remembers because… he doesn't have a role. The lying fox has always been hated. He can travel between fairy tales, but he cannot be a character in any of them. There is no fairy tale with a lying fox. Kate was terribly angry. Why didn't such a kind and wonderful person have a fairy tale? She took her diary and started writing something in it.

She tells him that people just don't know how wonderful he is, and she really doesn't understand how anyone can hate him.

The prince appears. Of course, he needed to spoil this wonderful moment.

The prince looked at her and immediately recognized her as the person he was looking for. Kate looked at Harry and noticed how dark his eyes were. She reflexively grabbed his sleeve. I like that part of hers. Don't let him slip away, girl!

The prince noticed Harry and told her that she shouldn't spend time with this "filthy creature". Another person who asks to be punched. This is a rather disturbing tendency.

Kate thinks that despite the fact that she is Cinderella now and should marry the prince, as soon as she noticed that Harry bit his lip, she hugged him. She thinks it's not her happy ending. So she tells the prince that she cannot respond to his feelings.

I rephrased it a bit, originally it was "my happy ending is not about being with you" but I think it's more appropriate to talk about the happy ending she was thinking about. Despite the ending of the fairy tale imposed on her, she doesn't consider it happy. Maybe I'm wrong.

She gets up, grabs Harry's hand and runs away. Good girl! if you can't solve the problem, run away from it. Good advice from Ally.

They're running towards the cliff. I don't like this place… this is already a bad sign. Harry tells her to go back to the prince. He told her that if she chose him, she would not find what was missing. But if she chooses a prince, she might find it. She said she knew that. But she's only happy when she's with him.

The prince appears. A persistent bastard.

She wants to retreat, but there's only a cliff behind her. Prince felt sorry for her that the fox had deceived her. And he said he had to kill him, or her, or both. This guy is really crazy. He took a sword and stabbed someone through. Kate and Harry fell off a cliff.

Bitter ending

Harry hugged Kate so that nothing would happen to her as they rolled down the hill. They fell into a shallow river. Kate thought that the water in this river was the same color as Harry's eyes. She looked around and found that he was lying a little away. She gasped and ran up to him. He clutched his stomach, trying to stop the bleeding, but it was no use. He opened his eyes and smiled at her.

No, she's not, but he is… She remembered that the prince's sword was definitely pointed at her, but Harry protected her. And even after that… He protected her the whole time they were falling off the cliff.

He told her that she had been here thousands of times. She was in Cinderella, Alice, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. And every time she had to find what was missing. She did it over and over again, and he could only watch her.

He explained that in this world, if she had a bad ending, she would return to her original world. And at that moment, her memories are erased.

So he lied… they had met many times before.

He asks her to return to her world, forget everything and be happy. She doesn't want that… He wipes her tears, says he loves her, and… dies.

She begs him to open his eyes, after all, he's lying, it must be a lie. But… he's already gone. She had been crying on his chest for who knows how long. Suddenly she heard footsteps.

Victor, do something!

No, not that!

He told her that this was what Harry had asked him to do. Bring her back to her world and never return her here again. But if she comes back, she'll forget Harry, and she doesn't want that. She said she loves Harrison and that's probably why she's coming back to this world… she wanted to see him again.

Despite the fact that everyone hated him, despite the fact that he had no place in any fairy tale, Harrison was the main character in her fairy tale.

Victor took the small key that hung on Harrison's chest and handed it to Kate.

This is also not what I asked for. I should have been more precise from the very beginning.

She doesn't remember how much time has passed since then. She continues to wander through this distorted fairy-tale world in the form of a lying fox, who cannot be a character in any fairy tale. Unable to change story, she just wishes of a happy ending and is overwhelmed by her helplessness.

After another bad ending, she returns to the river and lies down in shallow waters. In her slumber, she continues to dream of a happy ending that will never come true. "I love you, Harrison".

Premium ending

The prince's sword pierced through her… She was lying on the bank of a shallow river, and Harrison next to her looked like he was about to cry. She looked down and saw that there was a lot of blood flowing down the river.

Harry asked why she was protecting him. This time, the prince pointed the sword at Harry, and the moment she realized it, she stepped between them. No, really, girl, dodge! Fall to the ground, throw the sword aside… Do something so you DON'T die. Why do you always act like you have 9 lives?

Kate answered Harry's question that you don't need a reason to protect the person you love. Harry desperately push the wound on her stomach. The moment he thought that if he died, she would just return to her world world and forget about him. He explained to her that this was not the first time she had come to this world in search of something was missing.

She's been through a lot of bad things, and he's watched her die many times… She finally understood why she was feeling so nostalgic. She thinks that if she dies, she will forget about him.

Harry says that as long as she's happy, it doesn't matter how he feels. But he doesn't want to be forgotten anymore. Oh, no, it's a painful topic.

Oh, no, that's a painful topic as well…

She took out her diary. The lying fox is hated, and cannot be a character in any fairy tale. But in this diary she writes only about him, as if he were the main character. And so, with trembling fingers, she writes "the tale of the lying fox" on the cover. She started to lose her conscientiousness, but she heard Harry's words.

That's cute and all… but… the plot is missing.

And suddenly she's not dying anymore. Her eyesight has returned to normal, and there are no more wounds on her.

Victor! Why didn't you do it last time?

Harry asks Victor why he is here (and not at the theater, as I believe he lives) but Victor explains that a new fairy tale has been born in a destorted fairy-tale world, and it will exist as long as Kate is here. He congratulated Harry on his own story. Kate hugged Harry, feeling incredibly happy, and Harry hugged her back even tighter.

Victor clapped his hands, and the scenery completely changed.

Victor disappears, leaving them alone, and Harry asks her if she will continue to write his story. She's the only one who can do it. She happily answers "yes" and hugs him. They laugh and touch each other, as if they can't believe their happiness.

She tells Harry that she finally understood why she never managed to reach a happy ending. That's because the only happy ending for her is with him.

This is a fairy tale that never existed. Until now. And she found it in a slumber. Their own warm happy ending.

It's going to be a very long… I have a lot to add from myself.

I really love this story. It has several levels of meaning, a concept that is very close to real life. It caused a lot of strong emotions. I thought that Will's bitter ending was good. It's good, but compared to this one… It's too primitive. New clues and discoveries about the characters that were side ones in the previous part of the event. And… how poetically it is written… I have indeed given you a complete translation of one part, but I will not tell you which one, so as not to embarrass myself if it's not quite accurate.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Story is often associated with the life of the person. And we have Kate who writes a story (in the diary). So the meaning is very simple… She's writing her own story, her own life. And her story affects other people's lives so much that it creates a new one. I don't know about you, guys, but the thought gives me goosebumps. We never know how our words or actions will affect others, we never know what people will remember about us over time. So the fact that it can be so grandiose is overwhelming. I have a college whose words I remember for many years, and they became a good motivation for me. I'm sure he doesn't even remember saying them.

There was a part in the premium ending where Harry adds an ending to the story… If you look at it from a relationship perspective… A relationship (from my point of view, absolutely silly and unrealistic) is the work of two people. They both add something to their story that changes both of them and the direction they are moving. And Harry adds something from himself to this story, and only after that a fairy tale is born. Kate kept a diary all this time, but in the bitter ending Victor didn't create a fairy tale for them. If it was him… It only happened when Harry added something. He may have added an ending that's important to any story, but I like to think that's not the case. I like this concept way too much to give it up so easily.

The part in the bitter ending where Harry says he's seen her in every fairy tale hit very hard. I remembered another story and I'll tell you about it at the end, off topic part. I'm surprised what after seeing so many times her bad endings… he can still be surprised, sad, and actually continue feel… Emotions can be quite tedious and painful, and sometimes it's easier to just shut them down. Probably not all people can do this… In fact, I don't recommend doing this…. A world without emotions looks gray. Maybe it was depression… hmmm…

So now I have a vague idea of what was in the Harry's story for 95k in the first Dark IF. But I would still like to read it if I had the chance.

I really love this Kate. I don't remember her being so pushy or clingy in his route, but her desperate desire to be with him was literally palpable. And it was from the very beginning. And I find it refreshing that there was no sudden revelation "OMG, I LOVE HIM!". It's becoming old. She didn't realize it all of a sudden, she always felt this way and only in her thoughts tried to convince herself that this was not what she should do. Like… "I have a task… I have to do it… but…" In fact, it's very similar to real life again. I didn't expect that there would be so many references of our daily struggles...

I'm even more interested in Vivi. Is he some kind of keeper of this world? Is he as attached to it as Harry is? With the key? But he's more detached from the characters than Harry ever was. Perhaps because of how long he's been here… I don't know. We don't see any magic in him other than changing a fairy tale by clapping his hands, but Harry said he can do it too, so I don't see any difference. And if Vivi didn't create anything, then how was the fairy tale created? Who did this and why?

In William's Bitter Ending, Vivi said he will restart the story. So… he has sort of control over it. And it was he who sent Kate to look for the missing piece… so he should know what is missing.

Vivi is actually very sympathetic here. In the bitter ending, he seemed very upset about Kate's loss and gave her the key so she could stay. I suppose he had no other choice. It wasn't very kind of him, he should understand how difficult it is to be a lying fox in this world, but he still offers her this option as an alternative to forgetting everything. And in the premium ending, he is sincerely happy for them and believes that their future will be bright.

But… Maybe it's just a slumber… To find answers, we need to wait another year. Hopefully when Vivi's story comes out. But around April next year, Vivi's route will be released, and perhaps it will give us at least some hints of what to expect from this event. I'm very much looking forward to it.

And finally. But this is really off topic. There is a game called Mystic messager. If you play it, you know a character named Seven. That's not his name, that's what he called himself. For those of you who haven't played this game, this game in the form of a chats. You have several options to choose from, and based on your choises, you will reach one of the endings with one of the characters. There are a lot of bad endings. The whole game will take you 10 days (if I remember correctly). And less if you've reached a bad ending. Real days. But if you want to reach another ending, you should start over. And all the characters will think of you as a complete stranger... again. Doesn't it sound familiar? There was a theory in the community that Seven was the only one who never forgot. Who remembered her every restart, who loved her on every route. And then I read Harrison's endings… I thought… this is proof that the theory is correct. It doesn't matter that this is a completely different world and completely different developers. It still counts!!!

After reading Vivi's story translated by @.reccyls… I want to add a bit. I feel terribly stupid because I didn't figure out what was missing. It's like I'm truely a biggest idiot. That's how I feel. It was kind of obvious… And I like Vivi even more now. His " There has never been a single person like you before." hit me hard. As if it's really impossible. I don't feel despair from him, just calm loneliness. It's like he's already come to terms with it and doesn't even think that anything can change. This is even more upsetting.

And finally, there was another fairy tale mentioned in Vivi's story… a little mermaid. We don't have any characters from this fairy tale yet. Is this a hint for the next group of boys?…

dividers @.sister-lucifer (recolored with the author's permission)

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🔝 𝕊𝕋𝔸ℝ𝕋 ℙ𝔸𝔾𝔼 🔝

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#ikemen villians #ikemen villains #ikevil #harrison grey #harrison gray #ikemen villains harrison #ikevil harrison #victor #ikemen villains victor #ikemen victor #ikevil victor #ikevil JP #ikevil event

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kalinara · 3 days ago

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Oddly, I find myself inspired to talk about Scott/Emma today.

I want to disclaim first that I actually really do enjoy the Scott/Emma ship. I think, at their best, they were amazingly good for each other. I think she was the partner he needed at a time when he needed to be harder and more ruthless, less yielding, for the sake of the survival of their people. I think he helped her remember the good person that she;s always been capable of being, despite her anger, rage and pain, and made her want to be that person again.

But I will never not be frustrated by so many aspects of how the relationship began. And I'm going to get into them below the cut.

(Content warning: I'm going to discuss violation, victim-blaming, and sexual assault/rape.)

So, let me talk about my first frustration:

I will never be able to stop my knee jerk reaction whenever I see someone, in character or out, call it a "psychic affair", when it goddamn well wasn't.

(New X-Men #131)

What it was, was a case of therapeutic abuse. He went to her FOR THERAPY. The "affair" was conducted in the course of therapeutic sessions. This isn't just malpractice, something that, were Emma a real person in the real world, would cost her her license.

In the State of New York, real world, what Emma's doing is a prosecutable crime. Because a patient, in the course of therapy, has diminished capacity to consent.

And look, it's not that I think this is a deal-breaker to their future relationship. The X-Men are fucked up. We all know that. But it is irksome to me that, to this day, this is referred to as an "affair", and not a single character has ever pointed out that Scott was not actually a consenting equal partner here, but a victim.

(In retrospect, maybe THIS is the first initial sign that Hank McCoy was slowly drifting to the dark side, because I cannot imagine a man like DOCTOR Henry McCoy, of this era and before, not being seriously aware of and passionate about the ethical responsibilities that a doctor has to his patients.)

It's probably fair to note the Doyleist elements. It is possible that the writer/artist team never intended this to be as violating and victimizing as it is. But I am skeptical of this. You can't tell me that the people who wrote and drew THIS SEQUENCE:

(New X-Men #128)

did not know they were writing Emma as a sexual predator here.

(I have seen folks bring up the "defense" that Scott was a fucking idiot to go to her for help, as though that in any way excuses her actions. Surprise! Someone who has been recently traumatized does not make wise decisions! That is entirely shocking! It's almost like he might not be in a position to consent to a sexual relationship with someone claiming to act as a therapist!)

You know what's even more frustrating though? The shit Scott gets for the actual START of their relationship.

You remember how it goes? Jean's dead. Scott is at her grave, mourning. Emma goes to him with an offer - a relationship and a co-leader position at the school. He accepts and there's that infamous making out at the grave scene.

It's awful! It's completely understandable that this turns off a lot of folk both readers and in character.

Except that's NOT what initially happened.

THIS is the scene as it initially, actually happened:

(New X-Men #151)

So yeah, THIS is what actually happens. Emma makes her offer. Scott says no. He leaves.

But THEN we get a whole storyline with future bad things happening, and well, apparently someone gets the idea that there's one really good way to avoid all of that mess happening.

So in New X-Men #154, we get this:

And the same scene again:

The exact same scene. Same place, same dialogue, same time.

But what's Scott's response:

It's really hard not to read this as anything but Scott having his "No" literally rewritten to a "Yes" by a future version of his own wife.

And here's the thing, this isn't a meaningless action. Scott takes a LOT of shit from a LOT of his friends and family for this decision. Not just taking up with Emma so early after Jean's death, but also where it happens. THIS IS JEAN'S GRAVE after all.

Rachel, his DAUGHTER, is furious. She basically disowns him outright, switching to her mother's surname and costume. It isn't until the End of Greys (meanspirited bullshit of a story worthy of another rant someday), and their shared grief, that they're able to reconcile.

Hank, probably the closest friend he has at this time, is utterly disgusted. And so many others have similar reactions.

Look, it can be frustrating to read and talk about X-Factor because, in my opinion, so much of Scott's choices are mischaracterized and taken out of context. But at least those are CHOICES that he actually made.

This wasn't a choice! This was an incredibly fucked up act of spousal rape by proxy committed by a hypothetical future version of Jean, where all of the negative consequences fell on the victim's head. Both victims, really, because Emma was not a willing participant in the violation of her new partner.

And what makes it so much more frustrating is that this will never be addressed. There is, I think, a very slight chance that one day an actual, ethical therapist or Doctor might hear the story of the affair and point out "actually, no, that was actually something terrible that happened to you."

But no one is ever going to learn the truth here. Why would it even come up? Scott and Emma have been longer as exes (Krakoa polyamory possibilities aside) than they've been together. Jean isn't the same Jean, she's as innocent of this as young Hank is of any of Hank Prime's crimes.

So this will never get addressed, ever, and I will seethe eternally at yet another example of unjust treatment toward my favorite character. And I can't even be mad at the people involved this time (unlike AvX!) because he DID what they're mad at him about.

It's just he DIDN'T initially, and it's so frustrating.

Again, i don't intend this rant to reflect on Scott and Emma as a pairing on the whole. As I said above, I think, on the whole, the two have been very good for each other. I like the weird whatever-it-is they had going on in Krakoa.

(I could have done without that X-Men Blue storyline where she tries to psychically force baby Cyclops INTO adult Cyclops, but that's a rant for another day. I was really glad to see her back as a proper anti-heroine in Rosenberg's run later.)

I just hate that these darker parts of their origin have never been satisfactorily addressed and it will always bother me.

#scott summers #cyclops #emma frost #this is probably not a post for shippers though I do not mean it as an attack on the ship

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sleepyparalysisdmon · 2 days ago

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2 Minus 1 - Act Three

Seungcheol is doing good without you. Really good, in fact! He’s got a great job, has his own apartment, and has many friends surrounding him. He’s even done some dating in the three years that you’ve been gone. On some blissful days, you don’t even cross his mind. But when you reappear in his life, he has to come to terms with the fact that he might not be doing as good as he thought he was.

Genres: ANGST with a little bit of fluff here and there. One suggestive scene (minors, use caution).

Word count: 7.7k

Requested? Yes!

You can find the series masterlist here.

Minghao’s throwing a New Year’s Eve party. Seungcheol seemed to have found out last because it’s you that asks him if he’s going when you both step out for lunch a couple days before. Instead of going back to his office, he stops into his team’s office, hanging over Minghao’s cubicle wall. “When were you going to tell me you were throwing a New Year’s Eve party? Is this your way of telling me I’m not invited?”

“Huh?” Minghao mumbles, still typing up something. “Oh, yeah. It was kind of a spur of the moment thing. Didn’t get a chance to send a message about it yet.” Seungcheol sort of accepts this answer because things have been pretty busy around here in preparation for the new year. New budget means new plans and new goals, along with a renewed push from leadership to break records. There’s been a lot of pressure to start out the year on the right foot.

Still, Seungcheol pouts a bit. “And Y/N knew before I did?”

“Oh, yeah. I ran into her in the elevator yesterday and mentioned it. Stop being a big baby,” Minghao says, totally unsympathetic.

“Y/N is coming?” Chan pipes up from his cubicle, sounding excited. He rolls his chair into the aisle, running into Seungkwan when he does the same thing. They both groan and start pushing each other. The rest of them ignore the scuffle.

“Yes,” Minghao says shortly, turning to Seungcheol. “I assume you’ll be there since you’re attached to her hip.”

He doesn’t miss the sly look that all four of his friends give him at the mention. “Not sure what that’s supposed to mean. I thought you wanted me to get along with her.”

“As just a friend?” Vernon poses.

Seungcheol stalls out for a second, blinking. “Yeah, of course. Why do you ask?”

“Well, that’s a good thing, I guess. She asked if I minded if she brings a friend of hers. Someone from law school, or something. He’s in town for the holidays,” Minghao explains and Seungcheol can see clear as day that this is bait. Still, he can’t seem to help how his jaw clenches.

“Did she happen to mention his name?”

“Jeonghan, something or other. It’s a law school friend, you wouldn’t know him right?”

He knows they’re continuing to bait him. She’s a friend and this is a person he doesn’t know, so what’s the big deal? Seungcheol can’t help the curse he mutters. “No, I know Jeonghan. He’s from here, we went to school with him. And they dated while they were in California, apparently.”

An ‘oooo’ echoes throughout the office, then a cackle or two. They all look like they need bags of popcorn with how entertained they look at his suffering. “Oh no,” Seungkwan cries out in faux sympathy. “Cheol, what are you going to do? Her exboyfriend came all the way here to see her.”

“He didn’t come here just to see her,” Seungcheol defends, fists tightening on the wall of Minghao’s cubicle. “I just said he’s from here. He’s here to see family first, surely.”

“And run to see his ex before he goes back home? Maybe get a New Year’s Kiss from her?” Chan wiggles an eyebrow. The thought makes Seungcheol’s blood boil. He’d intentionally avoided spending much time thinking about you with Jeonghan. He knew you had kind of made the poor guy’s dreams come true by dating him.

“Oh my god, look how red he’s getting,” Seungkwan chortles.

Minghao turns to give them a warning look, though he sort of looks entertained too. He glances back to Seungcheol. “Don't pop a vein. You look pretty jealous for someone that fell apart when he found out she worked here.”

“I’m not jealous,” he insists stubbornly. Not a single one of them buy it and he huffs. “Get back to work. We have things due at the end of the day.”

He is not jealous. He is not jealous. He is not jealous! It becomes his mantra the whole afternoon as he tries to get through his to-do list.

He is not jealous. He is not jealous. He is not jealous!

He chants it to himself in his head when he knocks on your door. Jeonghan opens the door with a wide grin. “Hey, Seungcheol. It’s been a while,” he says letting him in. Seungcheol had always liked Jeonghan in high school. He was funny, a little bit of a troublemaker, but also seemed to be incredibly intelligent, judging by how he was always in the running for top of the class. He tries to be warm, but Jeonghan looks far too comfortable in your apartment. He wonders if Jeonghan stayed here for a couple days while in town. He wonders where he slept - was it the guest bedroom or somewhere else?

“Yeah, it has. How have you been?” He sits with Jeonghan in the living room, doing small talk. They’re interrupted by a yell from the hallway.

“Hannie, who are you talking to?”

“Seungcheol,” Jeonghan shouts back.

“Oh!” You shout. “Hi Cheol. I promise I’m almost ready.”

“Yeah right,” Jeonghan mumbles. “I’ve never seen her be ready on time.”

This does make Seungcheol snort. “Never.”

Jeonghan gives him a curious look. “How are things going there? Between you two, I mean. She was pretty anxious about running into you.”

The question gives Seungcheol pause for so many reasons. So many, in fact that it makes him shake his head confused. “You want to hear how things are going with your ex?”

Jeonghan raises an eyebrow, entertained. “Yes. Do you want to hear how things are going with your ex?” That question makes him grit his teeth and Jeonghan spots it, chuckling. “Yeah, that tracks. But yes, I want to know that things are going well between you two, no matter what it’s defined as.”

Seungcheol’s jaw is tight. “We’re fine. We always will be.”

He hates how Jeonghan leans back, feet propped up on your coffee table, sipping his drink like he owns the place. Like he has Seungcheol right where he wants him. “Uh huh. So no plans to rekindle anything then? Just going back to friends?”

“Yes,” Seungcheol grinds out. “Have you always been this nosy?”

Jeonghan laughs. “Maybe not, but I’m invested when it comes to Y/N. The consequences of dating for a few years, I suppose.”

Seungcheol’s breath catches. When you said you had dated Jeonghan for a while, he was picturing a few months, not years. He doesn’t know why you didn’t just tell him the actual timeframe, but then he thinks better of it. If he’s not handling it well now, then he wouldn’t have handled it well a while back either.

Finally, Seungcheol decides he sort of hates Jeonghan - not him as a person necessarily, but because you sort of made a home with him in California for three years. Enough for Jeonghan to come see you when he’s in town. He wishes there was even a tinge of bitterness between you and Jeonghan post breakup.

“So, what? You've come to visit and get back together?” He can’t really hide his own bitterness. “How’s that going to work when you both live across the world from each other?”

Jeonghan shrugs casually. “Distance wouldn't be an issue for me personally, but I’m actually looking for jobs here.”

He doesn’t get a chance to reply because he’s spiraling a bit and you’re rushing into the room, dressed to the nines and it’s all so distracting. “I’m ready! Let’s go!” You yell, shoving your feet in heels and grabbing a coat while Seungcheol and Jeonghan trail behind you. You chatter enough for everyone on the way to Minghao’s and when he leads you both into his friend’s apartment, he goes straight to the alcohol. He feels sick to his stomach before the first sip, but he needs the distraction from thinking about Jeonghan moving back and moving in with you next door and having to see you two together all the time.

He’d have to move and probably quit his job. And maybe leave the face of the earth.

Jeonghan knows quite a few people here tonight, but he still stays glued to you. It’s nice, really. You’ve settled in and have gotten comfortable with the way things are since moving back, but Jeonghan is an extra slice of familiarity that comforts you, if only for a couple days before he has to fly back.

It’s not like you two haven’t talked nearly every week since you moved, but there are so many things that you both seem to want to talk about now that you’re face to face. You missed him, and you missed Joshua, who you can get decent updates on now that Jeonghan is in front of you. Joshua has scheduled to take the bar exam and has been studying night and day, ignoring pretty much everyone since graduation. Jeonghan says he pops in every few days to get him to come up for air.

You’ve told him about your job, which you feel pretty neutral about it. Like Seungcheol, Jeonghan assures you that it’s okay to just have a job now and not a career, and that the degree wasn’t wasted if you don’t take the bar and practice law. He even discourages it because even though he hasn’t hit the books as hard as Joshua has, he says it’s still miserable.

He’s also incredibly nosy about how things are going with Seungcheol. When you told him about your first run in and subsequent birthday parties, he’d chuckled and told you it was only a matter of time. You can’t share mutual friends for your whole lives and never see each other. But he flat out cackled when you told him that you’d unknowingly accepted a job at the same company that he worked for. Jeonghan reveals that he knew that all along and you wished you could strangle him through the screen. You even threaten to get on a plane to do it in person. He just rolled his eyes and said, “What? You don’t check LinkedIn from time to time? I knew the company you accepted the role from sounded familiar so I checked.” He was still more entertained when you told him who your new neighbor was and made some joke about fate.

In the present, Jeonghan’s grinning over his glass at you in the corner of the room. “Someone hates me, I think. I’m getting a death glare.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Like it’s hard to hate you?” He shoves you lightly. “But who?”

Jeonghan snorts. “Who do you think? The most jealous person I think I’ve ever met.” He gestures across the room and it’s not hard to figure out who he’s talking about. Seungcheol looks pissed, but you’re confused because for the life of you you can’t figure out why he’d be pissed at you or Jeonghan. You thought things were good between you and Seungcheol now, especially after he said he didn’t hate you on Christmas just a week ago. He really looks like that could have been a lie right now.

“But why? He’s not entertained anything more than friendship, and even then that was like pulling teeth at first,” you sigh, looking down into your glass.

Jeonghan sighs lovingly. “Oh, honey. I love you so much, you know that, right?” You nod when it seems he actually wants an answer. “But sometimes, you’re incredibly dense. Don’t worry, I’ll fix it.”

Your eyes widen, hair standing on end. This doesn’t sound like a ‘spilled coffee on your laptop but here take mine’ kind of fix. The look on his face makes you nervous. “What are you planning, Yoon Jeonghan?”

He looks mildly entertained at your threatening tone before turning serious. “Do you trust me?” You stare up at him, blinking. “I need an answer to that. I can fix this but it might get worse before it gets better.”

“Define ‘fix’. And what are you fixing exactly?” You press.

“You and Seungcheol. It’s time to do something about this, but my methods might be unorthodox and you need to roll with it if it will work.”

Jeonghan has never led you astray and you do trust him implicitly. You glance to Seungcheol, who still looks angry, before looking back up at Jeonghan, huffing. “What did you have in mind?”

Minghao is coming around with flutes of champagne. The ball drop is queued up on the TV with the countdown ticking. You both take glasses from Minghao, setting your other ones to the side. “I promise it will be okay,” Jeonghan says evasively. It makes your anxiety spike.

“Hannie, please tell me what you’re planning.”

People are starting to countdown and he has to lean in close to your ear so you can hear him. “I’m going to help you make him jealous.”

You blanch, pulling away from him to give him a look. “What?!”

He’s pulling you back to him, hand now on the small of your back. “Just trust me. He’s holding back right now, but once all of that anger comes out I think he’ll be more upfront about his feelings. Namely that he’s not over you. You want that, don’t you?”

You think fast in seconds. You don’t like the pressure of the countdown. You do want to rekindle things with Seungcheol if he’d ever let you. You’d never really wanted it to end in the first place but it seemed inevitable at the time. And now he’s been a lock box for pretty much everything that isn’t professional as coworkers or casual as friends. He treats you like he wasn’t your best friend for years and it stings. He treats you like he wasn’t totally in love with you while dating, just as you were with him, and that stings even more. You want him back.

The countdown has hit ten and you lean in to Jeonghan’s ear. “You’re sure this will work? How sure?”

“99% sure.”

“Okay, then. Don’t make me hate you.”

Jeonghan chuckles and his lips are on yours when the ball drops.

It becomes apparent at approximately 11am on January 2nd that you should have doubted Jeonghan’s little plan. You have a meeting with Seungcheol's department to wrap up the contract revisions and Mrs. Jang and Seokmin have let you take the lead on it. It becomes clear within the first five minutes of the meeting that you’ve done something wrong.

Or everything wrong, really.

Seungcheol is cold, even flat out rude to you as you present the revisions, explaining the logic behind some of the changes. Nothing is good enough and he’s brutal about correcting your work in front of everyone. Minghao tries to delicately step in and get you back on track on some of the things you’ve done, but if he disagrees with the things he doesn’t speak up on, he doesn’t say so. Everyone’s uncomfortable and you close out the meeting as smoothly as possible, letting them know that you’ll make the revisions they mentioned and send out an updated version later today for review.

In the elevator, Mrs. Jang kindly says that you did well and you’ll get better with those little things with time. You’re thankful that she’s not disappointed or upset with some of the mistakes you’ve made, and that she’s giving you grace to fix it. But still, you’re itching to go somewhere and cry because Seungcheol’s never treated you like that.

Seokmin seems to sense it because he’s handing you your coat as soon as you get back into your shared office. “Let’s go for a long lunch.” He doesn’t really leave room for an argument, and even threatens to go into the women’s restroom to get you if you take too long on your way out of the building. He promises he'll close the office door later this afternoon if you still wanted to cry.

At the restraurant down the street, he orders food before sitting back and sighing. “That was rough. How are you feeling?”

“Pretty fucking fragile,” you bite, trying to blink back your tears. You do not want to cry in this restaurant right now. You’re almost angry at how emotional of a reaction you’re having.

Seokmin looks sympathetic. “I’ll say. That must be the ‘unpleasantness’ some people alluded to before. What even prompted that? I thought things were going well there.”

You put your head in your hands, sighing. “My stupidity prompted it.”

“What? What could you have possibly done to deserve that?” Seokmin cries out. You explain everything - Jeonghan, and your relationship back in California, and his bright idea on New Year’s. Seokmin hums, nodding his head with a deep sigh. “Okay, yeah. That might have been stupid.”

You groan, interrupted by the waiter bringing you and Seokmin your food. “It made sense at the time. And it’s not like Jeonghan doesn’t know Seungcheol. They might not have been super close, but Jeonghan’s usually pretty good at reading people and I trusted his assumption.”

“Eat,” Seokmin nudges, handing you chopsticks. “And his assumption was what? That Seungcheol would snap and confess his feelings?”

“Something like that,” you answer weakly. “Seems like it backfired. Yet another thing I’ve ruined.”

“Nuh uh,” Seokmin says automatically, waving his chopsticks at you. “Stop saying you ruin things. Ruining implies you can’t fix it.”

“And you think I can fix this? This felt pretty far gone before I made this most recent bad decision.”

Seokmin’s insistent though. “Going to law school abroad wasn’t a bad decision. Did it hurt? Probably. But stop acting like doing something for yourself ruins everything.” He pops a bite of chicken into his mouth, chewing and swallowing before continuing. “Besides, I’m not doubting your trust in Jeonghan’s theory. Some people respond to jealousy… It just seems like it will get worse before it ever gets better.”

You play with your food, moving it around on the plate. “Yeah, Jeonghan said something like that. I just expected some silent treatment or something. Not to be berated in a work meeting.”

“Yeah, I’m sure he’s hearing about that as we speak.” You give Seokmin a look and he chuckles, raising an eyebrow. “His team loves you. They did not look happy about his behavior. Not sure it will change anything, but this does seem like a problem between you and Seungcheol, rather than a problem with your work itself. I’ve made the same mistakes you did.”

You groan. “And to think he’s my neighbor. I can’t even escape it at home.”

Seokmin’s choking on his food. “He’s your neighbor?!”

“Oh,” you start. “Yeah, did I forget to mention that?”

When he’s no longer choking, he shakes his head. “That’s it, you’re paying this time. I know it was my turn and I was going to be nice because you’ve had a rough morning, but you better have your wallet ready because I’m ordering egg rolls to go.”

You get scolded all afternoon about keeping secrets from your only favorite office mate.

Seungcheol huffs from behind his monitor. He’s sent a message in the team group chat and it’s starting to look like he’s talking to himself as he scrolls through the recent chat history. He sends something, be it a task or a request for a status update, and he gets the shortest responses possible. Usually a thumbs up emoji, but sometimes a short answer if an explanation is required. Sometimes, it’s nothing at all. They’re doing the work, but it’s clear they’re mad. They have been since earlier this week.

Seungcheol isn’t proud of himself for how he handled that meeting with you earlier this week. He didn’t stick around afterwards because he could tell his team was disappointed. But they usually aren’t shy about telling him their problems, even with him. The silence is deafening and he knows he’s fucked up.

Minghao comes in to drop off a stack of papers and looks like he’s trying to exit quickly, but Seungcheol stops him. “What’s this?”

Minghao spins in the doorway. “Financials for last quarter. I need your signature on it before I can ship it off to Budgets.”

“Oh,” Seungcheol mumbles. “I’ll just do it right now.” He grabs a pen and starts skimming, but Minghao cuts him off.

“Actually, do it later. I’m not ready to be berated for my work right now.”

Seungcheol pauses and purses his lips, placing the report and the pen back down. “Why would I do that? Your work is usually flawless. That’s why you’re the team lead.”

“I don’t know,” Minghao drawls coldly. “You can be pretty brutal it seems.”

Seungcheol bites the inside of his cheek. “Is that why you guys have been dodging me all week?” To his credit, Minghao doesn’t deny it and that’s answer enough. Seungcheol sighs. “Was it that bad?”

“Bad? I’m sure she ran off to cry after the meeting. I think even I would have had an emotional reaction,” Minghao says bluntly. The knife twists in Seungcheol’s chest. He was so angry, and still is, that he hadn’t been thinking about your reaction. Minghao’s sighing, coming back in to sit down. “I thought you could be civil. What the hell happened to that?”

“I don’t know,” Seungcheol mumbles. He certainly does know, but he’s not brave enough to say it, lest he piss off his friends even more.

Still, Minghao scoffs. “Look. I saw her and Jeonghan on New Year’s. It really is okay if you just admit that you’re jealous. I’d even sympathize with you on it. You bottling things up is 90% of the problem here.”

Stubbornly, Seungcheol shakes his head. He doesn’t know why the word ‘jealous’ made him flip a switch so fast, but he’s back to being angry. “I’m not jealous. I did what you said and I tried to salvage some sort of friendship, but it’s hard to watch your ex with someone else. That’s not jealousy though. That’s me trying to accept the fact that things are different.”

“And your acceptance of these changes means ripping her apart in a professional setting?” Seungcheol doesn’t really have a response. No matter how he felt in the moment, he was embarrassed that he acted so unprofessionally. Minghao shakes his head. “I told you up front, you should just tell her you’re angry. Admit it and you’ll feel a lot lighter.”

“Why would she want to hear about that? I mean, who knows what’s going on with her and Jeonghan? He said he’s looking for jobs here.”

“And none of that might matter if you just admit how you feel,” Minghao insists. Seungcheol’s phone rings and Minghao stands up. “Take it. I’ve said all I can say now.”

It’s Saturday morning and your phone has gone off no less than ten times since 8am. You know who it is but you’ve been letting it ring. But after you’re ripped from sleep for the eleventh time, you’re starting to lose patience. You switch off the sound, turning on vibration. But the buzzing across your nightstand is just as obnoxious and by the thirteenth call, you’re snatching up your phone. “What?” You snap.

“Oh, so you aren’t dead!” Jeonghan cheers.

“Nope, not dead. Just mad,” you bite, burying yourself back into the covers.

“Uh huh, I kind of figured that out when you ignored everything I sent the whole week,” Jeonghan smarts. “Now are you going to tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it?”

You snort. “No, I will not let you fix anything else for a while.”

“Ah,” Jeonghan’s voice lifts and it irritates you. “Well I did tell you it could get worse before it gets better.” You’re silent, and his voice turns gentle. “Come on. Tell Hannie about it.”

“No. You need to be going to bed,” you insist, thinking of the time difference. Mad as you are, he needs his sleep.

“And I haven’t been able to do much of that, what with my best friend ignoring me. Now, help me so I can help you.”

You sigh. “Hold on. Let me get coffee and switch to FaceTime.” Once dressed with a coffee mug in hand in front of your computer, you rant. It feels never ending and it brings you to tears. All of the frustration of the last week, and really the last few months of living here, are boiling over and you feel like you could sob.

To his credit, Jeonghan looks sympathetic. He usually prevents these crying jags before they start, but he can’t really do that oceans away. “I’m sorry, honey. I did say it could get worse before it gets better, but I was genuinely hoping it would never get that bad. I kind of just wanted him to spit it out, you know?” He sighs, watching you rub your watery eyes. “Have you seen or talked to him since then?”

You scoff. “No. Thankfully, there haven’t been any more meetings and I’ve managed to avoid him at home too. I’ve been going in early and staying late, if only so he doesn’t feel compelled to give me a ride or anything.” You snort at the thought. “Not that he would do that right now, I think.”

“I don’t know that I’d go that far,” Jeonghan trails off. “You know, you could just ask what his deal is? At least, he wouldn’t be holding back because he thinks you don’t want to hear it.” He hesitates for a beat. “You do want to hear it, right?”

You sigh, swirling your now-cold coffee. “I don’t know. Who knows what he might have to say? Maybe it’s better if we just stick to being coworkers. Maybe we can manage that one day.”

“I’m sure,” Jeonghan says confidently. “But don’t be shy about clearing the air for everything else if he gives an opening. You’ll both feel better for it, I think.” Then he’s holding up his phone. “Now, play me back in Words with Friends. Our game is about to expire! You can’t ignore me like this!”

The following week, Seungcheol stays late to wrap up some things. It’s 7pm before he finally stands to stretch, grabbing his coat and logging out of his computer. He looks at his phone on the way to the elevator and mumbles a curse. He’s got multiple notifications about a winter storm that’s rolling in, well, right now. He’s relieved he drove today, but it seems it doesn’t matter because road conditions seem to be a problem at the rate that the snow is coming down.

He steps into the elevator when it arrives and presses for the first floor, going back to his phone. He’s surprised when the elevator stops almost immediately on the tenth floor. He bites back a sigh when it’s you of all people waiting for it. You look like you might back away and not get in the elevator with him, but he waves you in impatiently. You come in, finding the opposite corner in silence. It’s crushing and uncomfortable.

On the first floor, he lets you step out first and even gets the door for you at the main exit. Outside, he’s ready to hustle to the parking garage because he had every reason to be concerned about the road conditions and doesn't want to dally. But you haven’t moved and it makes him bite back a curse. He doesn’t want to offer you a ride but it would be beyond rude not too. Plus, if Wonwoo or Mingyu knew he didn’t, he’d never hear the end of it.

Seungcheol huffs irritably. “Come on.” You give him a confused look. “You’re not walking home. Come on before I change my mind.”

The only indication that you follow is the soft click of your heels behind him up into the parking garage. You don’t say anything as you climb into the passenger seat of his car, placing your bag in the floor. Seungcheol blasts the heat and pulls out of the space. The street is slick and he white knuckles it the whole way home as he drives around a number of accidents. You’re still silent, up until he pulls into his reserved spot in the parking garage at home.

“Thank you,” you mumble softly.

Seungcheol is tired in every sense of the word - mentally, physically, emotionally. So he mumbles back, “For what?” He rubs his eyes during the beat of silence that you let pass.

“For the ride. For making sure we got home safe.”

He’s exhausted by your constant thanks lately. ‘Thanks for asking.’ ‘Thanks for the help.’ ‘Thanks for the ride.’ It’d never occurred to him that you didn’t say it much before, but now it drives him up the wall that you do say it. “Why wouldn’t I do that?” He huffs tiredly.

You hesitate again. “Because you hate me. It seems like it, anyway. You’re a good person for doing those things even if you feel that way, Cheol.”

His blood his boiling through the exhaustion and it occurs to him that this is a perfect opportunity to unload like Minghao has been encouraging him to do for months, so he does. His hand falls from his face, landing in his lap with a hard slap. He snaps his head to you sharply. “You know, yeah. I do hate you.” He watches how your perfectly guarded expression falls, but he’s on a roll already. “I do hate you. You make yourself a fixture in my life for over two decades. You let me in after I pined for you for years. You show me what it’s like to be loved by you. And then you rip it all away and move across the world like it all meant nothing.” His elbow lands on the door frame so he can lean into his hand in frustration. “And then you waltz back in like it’s no big deal and I can’t seem to get rid of you now because you’re everywhere. If I don’t see you at work or at home or with family and friends, I still hear about you. And I was doing good without any of that! I was happy again after you ripped my fucking heart out, and now I have to see you every goddamn day. So yeah. I do hate you.”

A thing about you that he should have remembered is that you have a temper to match his. You look livid now. “First of all, Choi Seungcheol, you act like you pined alone all that time. You know you didn’t. And you’re apparently still bitter that I did something for myself for once, rather than for you. I bent over backwards for everyone for years - taking care of my brothers and Mingyu, trying to be the perfect eldest daughter for my parents, and feeding your massive fucking ego. I needed to go explore that opportunity for myself for once but you didn’t have to leave my life because of it. The phone works both ways, asshole. I may have physically left, but you’re the one that ended all communication in the first place. Second of all, I didn’t come back for you! At least, not entirely! It’s not all about you! So you can keep being happy and pretend that I don’t exist if that’s what you prefer. Because I hate you too. I hate that I still want you even though I don’t even recognize you anymore sometimes.”

Seungcheol scoffs heatedly. “Yeah, you wanted me enough to move on to Jeonghan as soon as you got to California. And you really wanted me on New Year’s while you were making out with him in the corner. Tell me, why did you even bother breaking up with him? Or is that just what you do? You seem rather good at it, two for two. And he’s still clinging on to your every word even though you left him, but that won’t be me.”

Your jaw drops briefly before you snap it back up sharply, eyes fiery. “You know what? Jeonghan was wrong about you. He’s been encouraging me this whole time to find a way to fix things with you, but I won’t be doing that anymore. You can watch me leave all over again.” You swing the car door open, lucky that there’s no car next to you to ding up, and slam it closed hard, marching into the apartment building. Seungcheol sits in the car for who knows how long until he realizes he shouldn’t let the car run inside the parking garage like this. He wanders into his own apartment and doesn’t see or hear from you the rest of the night.

The snow comes down hard throughout the night and the city can barely keep up with it. Leadership in the office send out an email blast early the next day after your fight with Seungcheol saying that the offices will be closed. You enjoy the day off by going back to sleep to try to mend your broken heart. Around noon, you take a long shower and pile up on the couch with some hot chocolate to watch TV. As luck, or the lack of rather, would have it, the power cuts off within the first episode.

You curse out loud, clumsily dropping your mug onto the coffee table. It’s still bright out given that it’s midday, but the dark corners of your apartment unnerve you. You feel childish for it, but you don’t like the dark. It’s something you’ve never grown out of. Even in your mid to late twenties, you still like to sleep with the TV on at night if only to chase away the bad dreams.

You think about who to call. It’s not a problem right now while it’s still light out, but if the power is still out when it’s dark out, you’ll be one big ball of anxiety. But you think better of calling anyone. You need to save your phone battery and you don’t want anyone out on the road to come and get you. Not your parents. Not Wonwoo or Mingyu. None of your other friends. Seungcheol has about twenty feet to travel, but reaching out to him is out of the question and it wouldn’t matter anyway because his apartment is just as dark as yours. You take some medicine that you rarely have to touch for anxiety anymore and plop down on the couch next to the window with a book to try to pass the time. You’ll cross that bridge when you get to it.

It’s somewhere around 5:30pm when the light is beginning to dwindle. You’re trying to get through this last chapter when there’s a knock on your door. It startles you because the silence had your ears ringing all day, and you put your hand to your chest, book forgotten. Hesitantly, you stand up and go to the door, looking through the peep hole. However, it’s dark in the hall because there are no windows (not that they would have helped much now).

“Who is it?” You call out, checking the lock.

“It’s me,” a masculine voice says from the other side. You want to beat your head against the door because the voice is unmistakable.

“Go away, Seungcheol. I’m fine,” you call out.

“Prove it,” he challenges. He knows he’s won by challenging you like that, but he has the good sense to not look overly pleased by it when you do open the door. In the dim light, he actually looks concerned. “I called and texted to check on you.”

You fold your arms across your chest. “Well, I’m fine. Just reading.” Never mind that you had no idea he reached out.

“Well, your reading session is limited with the daylight fading. So get some stuff and come over to mine,” he says impatiently.

You blanch. “Uh, why would I do that? You hate me, remember?”

In the darkness, you see him squeeze his eyes shut, looking frustrated. “Come on, Y/N. I’m trying to do something nice here,” he nearly begs. “You don’t like the dark, but at least you don’t have to be here alone. Plus, I got food and have some portable chargers for our phones.”

“I thought you didn’t want to see me anymore,” you bite. You’re aware that you might be acting like a bit of a bitch, especially since he’s extending some kind of olive branch in the moment, but you’re still incredibly bitter about how the conversation last night ended.

Seungcheol huffs, impatience bleeding out of him. “Y/N, that was me asking nicely. I’ll just throw you over my shoulder. You know that. Don’t test me.”

You know his threat is real, but you don’t budge. “When did you become so fucking hot and cold?” You hiss. “You hate me, and now you aren’t accepting no for an answer. Pick a lane, Seungcheol.”

“And you have yet to tell me no. You’ve just sassed, throwing things I said yesterday back in my face. So what will it be?” He snaps.

“I don’t understand you!” You groan. “You are so fucking frustrating, Choi Seungcheol.”

He hums, looking resigned. “So be it.” Then he’s barreling into the doorway, scooping you up over his shoulder. He grabs your phone off the coffee table, stuffing it in his pocket, grabbing your keys off the hook to lock the door behind you both on the way out. What little kicking and screaming you do is over fast because you know him better than to think it will work. Your arms stay crossed when he puts you back on the ground inside his own apartment, totally unfazed by your glare. “Make yourself comfortable,” he says, handing you your phone.

He walks farther into the apartment and you whirl around to bite back at him, but you’re surprised at the sight in the living room. Candles are lit all over the room. He does have dinner - bags of takeout that are still steaming on the coffee table. And there are many blankets on the couch. The portable chargers he mentioned are also on the coffee table, along with a few different cords. It’s… cozy, like you two are having a sleepover, something you’ve done more times than you can count.

Seungcheol’s sitting on the couch now, splitting the takeout boxes up. He puts a few boxes in front of the spot next to him along with some chopsticks. “Broccoli beef. Come on.”

He doesn’t ask if it’s still your favorite, and your stomach grumbles loudly, so you sigh, joining him on the couch in silence. You both eat and nearly an hour passes before either of you say anything.

You’re leaning back into the corner of the couch with one of the blankets up to your neck, staring at the wall ahead. “I don’t get you,” you mumble.

“I know,” he says softly, lacking any heat. It makes you tear up and you feel stupid for it. Still, you sniffle and you know he knows what it means. But he stays planted on his corner of the couch, matching your pose.

“I feel like I’ll never be able to get it right with you now. Not as coworkers. Not as friends. Not as anything more,” you mumble. “I don’t even know which one I’m supposed to try to get right, but I feel like I’ll always ruin everything anyway.”

Seungcheol is quiet for a long time and you almost forget you’re carrying a conversation until he speaks up again. “I don’t hate you. I should have never said that. What I meant is that sometimes I wish I did. I feel like I’m 22 all over again, getting my heart ripped out when you’re around.” You feel your chin tremble a bit at his words. “I shouldn’t have made that your problem though. Not the way I have lately anyway.”

“You know I didn’t leave without any guilt, right? Because I was drowning in it for a long time. I'm sorry for how I left things.”

“I know,” Seungcheol whispers, sitting up to look at you. You sit up, matching his pose. “You were right last night. You needed to go to do something for yourself for once. I’m sorry my ego got in the way. I was thinking about the loss that I was about to experience and I was selfish.”

You take a deep breath, never really expecting to get an apology of any sort from him. “You had every right to be upset. I just… wanted you to be happy for me. Someday, anyway.”

“And I am,” he says solidly. “I am happy for you. That you went to the program that you wanted. That you moved back. That you might fix things with Jeonghan. I really am.”

You can’t help but give him a quizzical look. “Jeonghan? What does he have to do with this?”

Seungcheol gives you a matching quizzical look. “I… was under the impression that you guys might be getting back together. After New Year’s and all.”

You chuckle, putting your hands over your face. “Oh, yeah. That.”

“Have I misunderstood?” Seungcheol asks, confusion obvious.

“No, I guess that was the entire point. I’m not proud of it at all, but Jeonghan seemed to think that it would rile you up.” Seungcheol looks irritated even in the darkness, so you tack on an honest apology.

“So you wanted me to be jealous?” He grinds out.

“No,” you quickly say. “I just wanted anything from you, honestly. There were a lot of things unspoken between us and I didn’t know how to get them out into the open.”

Seungcheol crooks his finger at you and you’re really helpless to not follow the instruction. You push off your blanket and sit on the cushion next to him. His finger finds your chin, holding it gently. “Well, it worked. I was jealous. Still am.”

“Oh?” You mumble, wide eyed. There’s something about his intensity that makes you feel both shy and excited at the same time. He was somewhat possessive in the past, and it’s a little thrilling to know that he still might feel that way about you.

He��s getting closer, creeping into your space. “I kind of hate him, actually. Wish you’d never given him a chance, because he’ll always rub it in my face.” His hand wanders from your chin, up your cheek, pushing your hair back. The touch is soft and makes you want to fold right away. It’s really totally unfair how much power he has over you. You’re reduced to a little hum in acknowledgement and he continues. “Wish you’d forget about him. I’d make you if you’d let me.”

The words spill out fast. “I’d let you do whatever.”

In the darkness, you can see Seungcheol’s eyes flare before he’s breathing a long sigh. His fingers in your hair tug lightly, pulling your head to the side. He’s crowding you, other hand wrapping around to your back, lips finding your neck delicately. Your hands find his chest, clinging to his hoodie. “I missed you.”

The words make your eyes well up again, despite how his hand is crawling up the back of your sweatshirt and his lips are trailing up and down to the spots he knows you like. “I missed you too.”

The crack in your voice makes him lift up to meet your eyes. “If we go here again, I need you to be all in like I am. Are you?” You think he might be tearing up too, but you can’t be sure.

“Yeah, Cheol,” you say, hands crawling up from his chest into his hair. “I’m all in.”

“Oh, thank god,” he groans, slamming his body into yours, lips finding yours. You both fall back onto the couch together and in a lot of ways it feels like you never left.

“You’re late.”

Minghao tries to look upset as Seungcheol rushes into the conference room for their team meeting. Luckily, Seungcheol’s supervisor isn’t in this one, just Seungcheol and his team. The others try to match the annoyance, but it doesn’t stick. They haven’t been good about looking annoyed with him in weeks.

“Sorry, got a late start this morning,” Seungcheol excuses, pulling out his notebook and pen.

“Date night on a Wednesday?” Seungkwan teases. “Come on, we have things to do. Save it for Friday.”

“No, Friday’s still date night. Who knows what kept him up late last night?” Chan says, though he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. Seungcheol throws one of the thin coasters on the table in his direction.

“Let’s keep it professional, please,” Seungcheol says, hoping it comes out as a demand, but he knows it's more of a plea.

“Uh huh. Professional like making out with Y/N in your office in the middle of the day?” Seungkwan bites back.

“Oh man, that was traumatizing,” Vernon chuckles.

“He has glass doors, you think he’d be more aware of his surroundings,” Chan tacks on.

They’d known the day that everyone came back after the snow storm that something had changed and they’d refused to leave his office until they found out what it was. Seungcheol shouldn’t have been astonished by it, but they started trading money in front of him when he announced that he was official with you (again). Apparently, his behavior in meetings wasn’t the only bet they’d made. Minghao pocketed a pretty generous amount of money and was once again unfazed at the threat of going to HR. His exact words were, “okay, fire me.”

Seungcheol wouldn’t be doing that.

But since then, they hadn’t let him breathe about much of anything. He takes two minutes extra for lunch? Must have stopped to see you. Lingers after a meeting? It’s only because you were in that meeting. Running late like today? Must be your fault.

Still, Seungcheol is flushing about the fact that he was caught with you in his office last week, so he brings the meeting to order. He knows he’s only delaying the inevitable, but he can force them to stay on topic for the hour so he’ll do that.

You miss each other most of the day between meetings and such, and he meets you at your office door at exactly 5pm, leaning against the door frame. You grin at him, pulling on your coat. “Hi,” you say, leaning up to kiss him.

He pulls you in for one more. “Hi. Busy day?”

You sigh. “Yeah, what about you? Didn’t see you much.”

Seungcheol nods. “Yeah, I know. I was booked most of the day. But they can’t keep me here anymore,” he insists.

You giggle, before looking a little pensive. “Are you sure you’re okay with just going home today?”

Seungcheol nods automatically. “Of course. I’m fine with a night in.”

“If you’re sure,” you say, but a pout has settled on your lips that he just has to kiss.

“Stop. Pouting is my job. But really, I don’t mind. We can always go out another night.”

“If you insist,” you sigh, leading him to the elevators.

Later that night, he’s got you curled up into his side. You both rarely sleep alone anymore. It’s all too easy to just run to the other’s apartment when it's time for bed, if you weren't together already. He debates on mentioning moving in together to save the money, but it feels too soon, so he bites his tongue.

“Thank you for the night in,” you mumble sleepily. He’s surprised because he thought you were asleep already, but he presses a kiss to your head.

“Of course, baby. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

You don’t say it back, but he’ll forgive you because you really are asleep now. He whispers a little ‘I love you’ just for good measure.

#scoups #seungcheol #choi seungcheol #scoups x reader #seungcheol x reader #choi seungcheol x reader #seventeen #svt #seventeen x reader #svt x reader

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liampaynemysteriousdeath · 2 days ago

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Media saying: "....Witnesses describe his behaviour as increasingly erratic, including outbursts of frustration and references to his One Direction past."

You think that Liam's frustration included also the thing that he changed hotel cause fans was 24/7 outside his previous hotel, and then the same thing happened to Casasur Hotel?

good question.

Its hard to believe what the media says, and it's also hard to even believe the pictures too. Allegedly they have been tampered with too...

But if you look at these pics. It seems to be the same guy and liam looks pissed.

Idk if the pic of liam standing liam by elevator was taken before or after they dragged him. Supposedly it was multiple times he was taken up and down the elevator. Allegedly, he passed out in the elevator according to some sources.

I had always mentioned on this blog that it seemed like there were no fan pics taken outside the casasur hotel. Only the Hyatt hotel.

Im not saying that one girl who went on argentina news was a liar, I think her name was dayana or Daniella(?). I believe the news station was called general noticias iirc.

And she said he was going to come back down after he was gonna eat something. But it's strange she didn't get a video of him at all? Or even a pic of him walking back inside hotel. It was full glass panels after all. (Also does that mean roger was on his way with food? Allegedly he had brought liam cookies and mcdonalds the previous day?) Because liam didn't have access to his own money. apparently toger was controlling liams money. People think liam was given a sedative through the cookies. Also fans say liam was a big fan of cookies in general. So that was probably the best idea they thought of to drug him...

And now that we see these new leaked pics, I didn't see anyone standing in front of the front of hotel...? No fans...

Cause I remember the gonzalo article talking about how Liam stays at the Hyatt usually, but too many fans found him there. So apparently he switched to polo place. Gonzalo said he was going to join them on that trip(since he owns polo place), but had business in America to do... he also claimed liam was on the phone with him that day and seemed fine. He claimed liam had new phone or phone number iirc according to the article,

To my knowledge, they were all staying at hyatthotel, (roger, lulu, kate, liam). There's video of them getting in van from hyatt to go to nialls concert.

Then in Kate's last video where she leaves, they are at gonzalos polo house villa. Then liam and roger go to casasur. I doubt roger ever had a room booked there. Supposedly Roger only visited hotel 3 times to pay off liams hotel tab. Which also makes me wonder why did Roger bring him food from mcdonalds when he could have ordered something from restaurant. And then roger could have come over and paid for it. Also I had a theory that roger was controlling liam acting as a sover coach, which possibly could've pissed liam off making him more erratic, plus if liam was hungry, hunger puts people km bad mood. Also why did Roger leave his friend alone in a sketchy hotel? Why didn't he invite liam to his house?

Liam didn't seem to have his suitcase, which seems likely considering he kept rotating similar outfits and of course the rumor that Kate left with his credit cards and only had 18 dollars to his name. (See eternal liams twitter for her theory on liam was victim of human trafficking).

And then idk ifyou saw my postfrom other day talking about how lulu was saying do you have the drug an on phone with brayan allegedly. Also idk if you saw my post linking brayan to lula. They've been friends for at least a year. So after the polo place visit, they go to casasur where brayan delivers drugs.

Also the brayan pic seems imo to have been taken back in May when liam went to argentina for louis concert. Liam had a fullerface back then.

Anyways, back to your question...

Did those dudes grab him off the couch and left his laptop there? Then go on it themselves to look through his laptop? There's also the broken tv pic where you can see what looks like a reflection of laptop on the bed. Alongside a possible black cap...but even then people say it could've been a different room staged.

Liam could've been aggravated by getting harassed by the staff obviously them grabbing him would've pissed off anyone and obviously someone would act erratically. But the media tries to spin it like he was crazy and on drugs, etc. Which he could've technically had some untraceable drugs in his system for all we know. Maybe a sedative perhaps. But he was trying to renew his visa which meant he needed to be clean.

I know with almost all substances there is called a half-life and it only shows up in the body for a certain amount of time before it is excreted though the body, whether urine,sweat, etc. Certain substances don't even show up on drugtests. There is a rumor that Christian a, who bought rogers company on the day liam performed at his birthday party (may 2022or may 2923 idr exactly), had hallucinogenic that couldn't be tracked on drug tests. Christian was into mushrooms and hallucinogenics and made a company.

And on liams YT channel, he attended Christians lunch thing. And later liam invested in one of Christians companies and also did an art thing with crypto.

Well also we have to remember that he also stayed at gonzalo's polo place too. No one has made a hard timeline of liams movements throughout his staying argentina. On top of that, that roger has been deleting stuff from liams social media. Tiktok specifically. Roger specifically posted liams last video at polo place to throw people off to show that liam was "fine". While roger did his dirty work behind scenes. It seems that a lot of footage for social media was filmed all at once and released in increments to throw people off his trail.

Also how brayan said that Liam was supposedly paranoid. (If it's true, maybe he was paranoid was gonna kill him.) But of course, people say he was paranoid because of the drugs.

The psychiatrist visit for liam happened during the trip bevause you need a psych eval in order to get visa approved.

And idk if you saw the postsfrom, the other day where i posted screenshots from eternal liam on twitter. She mentioned that mayas family had ties to abc news. Supposedly the first toxicology report came from American abc news. And why did it come out so fast after he had just passed away? It usually takes up to 6 weeks to have results. So it seemed the first toxicology report was from America and falsified on purpose,

Also how would an America source have more Info than the locals? Doesn't make sense.

Sorry I totally went on a random rant again haha. Hopefully I answered your question lol.

#liam payne #justice for liam payne

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oliveee-star · 1 day ago

Text

I wanna elaborate on some of these really quick so let me ramble 🙏🏻

1) loves oatmeal specifically WITH cinnamon and raisins in it. And it can't be too runny or too thick and it can't be cold and she has to use her favorite spoon when she makes it because it's her favorite food and so they go together right?

2) only likes a very specific shade of yellow. She likes the super pastel yellow that's the same color of the hairclips Pandora puts in her hair. It's the best yellow to her because it's not too bright and it doesn't pop out/scream at her but it still gives off that happy warmth vibe that she literally embodies and I love her so much oh my god

3) she only likes potions when it's taught by Slughorn. After Hogwarts, she considers going into something with potion-making involved, so she goes to classes for super complex shit that she didn't learn in school. But she can't stand it. For a while she can't figure out why, because she's always had an affinity for this sort of thing, always loved it, etc, etc. But then she realizes that it's the professor. He's short-tempered. Stern. He doesn't negotiate. And Lily, having grown up with Petunia and—though she never really wanted to admit it—having needed "accommodations" her whole life, especially in school, loathes this. She misses Sluggy, who was more of the clumsy, warm, grandfather figure who passed out lemon drops and was never on time.

4) her literal obsession with ABBA has gotten out of hand. She has all the album records in her little display case in her room and she puts them on her record player while she gets ready. She has posters. She sketches little drawings. She's gone to some concerts. She LOVESSS them. She's like a Swiftie but with ABBA.

And now I'd like to add a few more things.

1) loves Eskimo kisses. They're her favorite thing. She does them with Pandora all the time—sometimes even Reggie, because God can strike me down if they're not close like that. And sometimes Pandora will kiss all over her face, her lips touching every little freckle. And she loves when she kisses her temple. (AHHHH THEY'RE SO CUTE I LOVE THEM) and whenever Lily is feeling insecure, Pandora will lay down in bed with her and ask "what do you not like about your body, baby?" and then Lily will give her answer and Pandora will literally just worship that part of her with kisses, massages, affirmations, anything really, to make her feel better. And then she'll make her her favorite tea.

2) looks good in anything. I feel like Lily wouldn't really have a specific style. Her closet is a mess of goth and hippie and clean girl and softie and kawaii and flannel obsessed lesbian and emo and scene and she looks amazing in ALL OF IT. Lily Evans changes her aesthetic day to day and does it like a fucking queen boss bitch. The only thing about clothes is that they always have to be the right material and her favorite fabric and she always has to be wearing either compression socks or those fuzzy socks you get at Christmas. If the heels on the socks are colored differently than the rest of the sock then the heel has to perfectly line up with her own heel but also still be tight enough so that she doesn't feel the need to pull them up all the time.

3) LOVES bugs. Anything bug related and she's on it. It's one of her special interests. She has posters of all the different beetle species and she has an ant farm/terrarium thing on her shelf and half of her clothes are covered in butterflies and she's named all of the dragonflies that land in her garden. She's besties with the cicadas. (She used magic on them to make them talk because she's one of the brightest witches of her age and she's just like that)

5) her middle name is Jane. That's all I have to say.

Thank you for listening to my ramblings 😭

My Lily Evans hcs!

she/her bisexual

plus-sized :)

freckles EVERYWHERE. like EVERYWHERE.

smells like pear, sandalwood, lillies, and dried rain

allergic to gluten

LOVVVVVESSSS oatmeal

fav color is yellow

on the autism spectrum

potions goddess

loves strawberries

very much a spring girly

yes she's english, but also german bc yes (and fluent in german ofc ofc)

loves ABBA

remus' girl bsf

MARYLILY

#lily evans #bisexual lily evans #bisexual #lily potter #lily evans headcanons #lily evans potter #dead gay wizards #fuck jkr #dead gay witches #dead gay wizards from the 70s

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luveline · 2 days ago

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Hii, Jade 🤍 please bring back singledad!spencer, reader and Amanda 🥹 they r so special

—Spencer experiences your first Spencer-brought-upon baby fever, to his shock. fem, 2k

(cw: reader is written as enthusiastically wanting kids)

Spencer’s been reading to Amanda since the moment she could open her eyes. By two months she was cooing in delight whenever he spoke, and that included during story time. He didn’t mind that she didn’t understand, he just loved being with her. He still does.

So when Amy interrupts your conversation to beg for him to read her something, he gives you an apologetic look, asking, “Do you mind?”

“Of course I don’t mind.” You wouldn’t, you’re like an angel, leaning back on the couch with little urgency as Amy climbs into Spencer’s lap.

“Thank you. Sorry for interrupting,” Amy says.

“Gosh, you’re so smart,” Spencer says, tucking a curl of her hair behind her ear. “Interrupting, that’s a big word.”

“Go ahead,” you say, getting comfortable in front of one of Spencer’s woven cushions. “I’ll listen too, if that’s okay.”

Spencer opens the storybook to the first page. Amy likes this one. The corners of the pages are soft with use. “Cerys’ Brave Day,” he begins, grinning as Avery pushes herself up his chest to look down at the illustrations. “Cerys wakes up without mommy. Cerys makes her own way out of bed. There is no mommy to wipe her face or brush her hair. My mommy, she thinks, is not there.”

Amy smiles into Spencer’s cheek. He wraps an arm around her, as if to say, I know, angel, it’s exciting. “Her mommy must be having a slow day. She doesn’t appear to give Cerys any help. And Cerys says–”

“No way!” Amy finishes, pointing at the drawing of a bathroom sink and toothbrush. “I don’t want to brush my teeth by myself!”

It goes on like that for some time. Spencer notices you getting closer as he goes on, your arm pressing to his side.

Cerys finds that her mommy is having a slow day. Cerys’ mommy is just as loving as the other mom’s, but sometimes she takes longer to help Cerys brush her hair, and get dressed. Cerys has to be a brave, smart girl, and help her mommy with the small things. Spencer enjoys it, and thought it was a great expression of empathy for Amy to one day understand.

“Later, when mommy feels better, she says I’m sorry for being so slow. Mommy didn’t mean to forget her, she just struggles to get up and go.

“Cerys doesn't want her to be sorry. She loves helping her mommy out. Because mommy loves Cerys, and Cerys loves mommy, and that’s never been in any doubt.”

Amy turns her face to Spencer with a huge smile, somehow bigger than when it started. “I love that story,” she says.

Spencer lets the storybook fall closed in her lap. “It’s a good one, huh?”

“What do you think, Y/N?” Amy asks.

You’re delighted by Amy in a way Spencer’s used to seeing in the mirror. “I loved it. Daddy’s a good storyteller, and you’re such a good assistant. You know lots of the big words.”

She preens. “Thanks.”

You can’t resist her, pushing against the top of her head with a nice palm. “You’re welcome.”

“Can we have another one?” she asks.

Spencer checks the time on his watch. Amy realised it was bedtime before he did, it seems. “Come on, lovely girl. Let’s start getting ready for bed, and you can have any story you want.”

He’s obviously not expecting you to leave, but at the same time, things are new enough between you that when he asks if you want to sleepover, your grinning “Yes, please,” throws him for a loop.

You have spare clothes and toiletries in the bedroom. You ask to take a quick shower and get all smiley and shy when he says you never have to ask.

“So dad,” Amy says.

“So Amy,” he says, pulling down the blankets on her bed. She has five layers because suddenly November is cold. He wonders if she needs a sixth.

“I can’t sleep in the big bed tonight.”

“Well, that depends on how badly you want to.”

“Really?”

“You’ve known Y/N for a long time, right? She’s been my friend for a long time, before she was my partner. I think she’d be okay with having you sleep in the big bed again if you need to. It was your place before it was her place, and she knows that.”

“Well…”

He grabs her under the arms and places her in bed. She could use her stepping stool, but he likes picking her up and putting her down. It makes him feel super paternal. “Just think about it, angel. If you change your mind, you can just come and knock the door.

“Promise?”

“Honey.” He kisses her forehead twice, before pulling the blankets up over her, and turning on her mushroom night light. “How’s that? Okay, I promise you can still come knock my door. Cross my heart.”

“Can you stay for a little?” she asks.

Spencer sits on her bed by her legs. They feel weirdly small under his hand despite the padding he’s given her. “Babe, are you sure you’re warm enough? This does not feel like enough blankets.”

“It’s loads. Give me a hug.”

Spencer lays down in her bed, almost falls off, and covers her with his arm. Their curls tangle together on the pillowcase.

“Like this?” he asks.

“Exactly.”

“Amy, you’re using such big words, you’re so smart.” He’s gonna take her for an assessment at some point. He doesn’t care if she’s super intelligent or not, but lately it’s like she’s so much older than she is. A few days ago she said the word discombobulated. “My smarty-pants.”

“I like big words,” she says.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Remember what Amanda means?” he asks.

Amy giggles as he shakes her by the tummy. “She who must be loved.”

“Exactly. Loved by everyone, deserving of love. Always, from the second you were born!” He leans down to kiss her cheek, meeting her eyes as he pulls back. “Okay?”

She certainly feels loved, he’d wager. He loves her so much it’s like an extra part of his soul in another person. “Story?” she asks.

“Yes, I did say we’d have one, didn’t I?” He’d almost forgotten. Spencer grabs a couple of her soft backs from the book stand and lets her choose.

After he’s read a few books and given her a couple of cuddles, Amy begins to list. She presses her nose to his shoulder and mumbles something he doesn’t hear.

“What did you say, sweetpea?” he mumbles.

“Just goo’night.”

“Goodnight. I’ll tuck you in, okay?”

“Spence?”

He’d almost forgot you were here. You’re standing in the doorway, arms still damp, pyjama pants stuck to your calves. “Where’s the fire?” he asks.

“What?”

“In a rush?”

“Oh, I just wanted to hear story time. Did I miss it?”

Spencer kisses Amy again. “I think so. I’m just saying goodnight.”

You lean against the door. “Goodnight, then, lovely girl.”

Spencer forces himself up to tuck her in. “Goodnight,” he says again, stroking the hair from her eyes, though they’re closed already. She doesn’t manage to say goodnight back, just touches his arm before he goes.

You take his hand when he’s close enough. He follows, pressing his face to your shoulder from behind.

“I like watching you be a dad.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm, you’re good at it. It’s… I don’t know, I know Amy isn’t my baby, but I do love her, so it’s never not gonna be nice to watch you, and… I’m worried to say this.”

“Just say it.”

“Maybe one day, I…” You catch his eye and give him a panicked smile.

You climb into bed together. He tries to get you to finish what you’d been saying but doesn’t succeed, no matter how nicely he draws that shape you love into your neck. It’s alright, though. It doesn’t matter. He nearly forgets you’ve brought it up at all until you’re lifting yourself up from your place on his chest. “Spence?” you ask, so close it makes him nervous, his stomach twitching of its own volition.

“What?” he asks.

“I know it’s soon. I know we’re not… locked in. I was just thinking about our future and our family, and I’m really happy. And– and if you did want to, I guess I wanna know if… would you ever have more?”

“More kids?” he asks, dumbfounded.

Your pupils are massive, staring down at him, giving your eyes this darkness so rare in your gaze. “Have you ever thought about it?”

“Of course I have, especially with you.”

You fluster but push through. Your laugh warms his lips as you lean down. “Don’t say that.”

“Isn’t that what you just said?”

You kiss him. He lifts his chin too fast to follow you and ends up pushing you away. His cheek is burning in your hand, your index finger to the corner of his eye and so, so tender where it touches an eyelash. “Amy’s so much like you, honey,” you say, tucking a long flyaway strand behind his ear. “And it’s all you.”

Spencer wonders if you’re perhaps entering the ovulation stage of your period, but forbids himself from asking, should he sound like a freak. But surely you can’t be feeling as strongly as you are about this from story time alone. He’s not that good at telling them.

“It’s not all me. Amy’s herself, and she’s parts of everyone she’s ever met. I think she’s been a lot braver since she met you,” Spencer says.

He’s not sure what he said there, but you peer down at him like he’s entirely new.

“Spencer,” you murmur, drawing a line across his cheek.

“I’d love to have a baby with you, I just thought saying that might be too much too soon.”

“Well, it is,” you say, sounding insanely pleased, at odds with your words, “that’s so soon. You shouldn’t say stuff like that.”

He thinks he gets it. Spencer covers your hand where you’re been caressing his cheek and brings it to his mouth, giving your knuckles a kiss. “You’re already so caring, you’ll make an amazing mother.”

“Not just if we have babies though.”

“No, I know.” His hand acts for itself as he tucks your hand against his neck. “Amy loves you.”

“She’s brilliant, Spence.” And whatever adoring you’d been ladening on him comes to an end. “Her vocabulary is insane for her age, she really is her father’s daughter.”

You lay yourself across his chest again for a hug.

Spencer applauds himself for surviving whatever that was. You, eyes dark and imploring, asking him about babies and touching him like that. “Amy would love a baby sibling,” he says.

“How many should we have?”

He laughs loudly. The taboo of everything being too soon is forgotten as you and Spencer talk about babies, houses, what middle school Amy might go to, what daycare you could send your babies to. It’s so exciting it makes his chest pang, thinking about living with you, about marrying you. And your enthusiastic answers make it worse. It’s clear you’ve thought about some of this stuff at depth.

You could really get married one day, Spencer thinks. There’s a real possibility you might say yes.

“Do you really think Amy wouldn’t mind a sister?” you whisper.

“She’s asked me a couple of times how she can get one, so yeah. I think we can safely assume she’d like that.”

“She asked you that?” you coo. “Aw, lovely girl, what did you tell her?”

“Well, I told her she came from a pumpkin.”

“You did?”

“Mm. It was my fault then when she got very excited at Halloween.”

You giggle into his neck. “When we have a baby, we’ll buy her a pumpkin.”

“Or a squash, but I don’t think we could fit a baby in a butternut.”

You hug him nice and hard. Spencer isn’t sure, but he suspects this is the beginning of a very new, very enjoyable chapter of your lives. Even more so when you nose at his jaw and mumble something about his ‘kissability’.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction

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