#it’s the anxiety
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The eternal conflict of feeling guilty for not responding to a comment on A03 AND feeling like a total idiot that’s bothering people when I do respond to a comment.
#a03 fanfic#a03 writer#comments#I love when authors respond and tell me more about their stories#and yet I feel like I’m bothering the people who have commented ???? 😂 wtfffffff#it’s the anxiety#😂#I’m working my way through all the thiam fic comments#slowly… so very slowly
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🎶 hum hum dee dum, hum dee dum dum. i’m so rumbly in my tumbly. 🎶
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Mom: Always remember, if there ever is anything you’re about to do but you hesitate, it’s probably not a good idea at all! Always be sure before you do something! Come tell me and ask me questions if you hesitate. Me and my anxiety: O-Okay… *5 minutes later* Me: *shouting across the house* MOOOM, is the conversation over now? Just making sure that I can leave now without interrupting a conversation and making you mad-
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I am this close to writing a MM fic that’s just half self projecting onto Leo it’s not even funny
#he is at the top of the kin list I feel like i should#it’s the anxiety#i don’t think I have anxiety but i can get really anxious sometimes so#i think i will#tmnt#mutant mayhem#mutant mayhem leo
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I’m still in the stage of being like “oh no I’m going to get a bad grade in fallen London OC a thing which is normal to worry about and possible to achieve” and being constantly worried that I am writing CoPa incorrectly because I don’t know the lore well enough tbh
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I’m like the opposite of jughead jones I’m always going through every day doing ordinary things like. I’m normal it’s normal to sit at a red light it’s normal to eat a sandwich it couldn’t be more normal to take out the trash I’m just watering plants that’s normal I’m so normal. etc . like a mantra
#I literally do this 24/7#like I’ll be taking a walk thinking to myself this is a normal thing to do I’m allowed to do this#it’s the anxiety#rose.txt#but today I was giving myself the usual internal talk & it occurred to me it’s like the inverse of Jughead jones#this is funny to probably me & no one else
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he is tom to me. no, i will not elaborate x
#okay fine#it’s the overbearing love thing#it’s the anxiety#idk man i just look at him and think ‘yeah. that’s tom’#do i even make sense to anybody to myself anymore?#if tom had a kid maybe not with shiv but still. the kid would literally be augie#just dad tom loving his kid so much 🥹#succ au with doggie daddy tom and his auggie doggie daughter#best universe in my opinion#also greg is grape ape but that’s neither here or there#okay lol bye
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Book 7/?? of 2023:
A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas
This series is my current hyperfixation and I already know I’ll be rereading it so many more times. Potentially the best character redemption arc in history???? Paired with the worst fall from grace?? I’m so excited and so tired all at once because this book kept it GOING.
10/10
#books#booklr#currently reading#tbr#a court of mist and fury#acomaf#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#sarah j maas#I’m late to the party but they’ve been on my TBR for three years and I was so excited about them that I kept putting them off lol#it’s the anxiety#hyperfixation
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Me: You know how when you were a kid and you’d wish that you’d get sick or injured in a way that would justify why you didn’t live up to your potential?
Everybody, apparently: No?
#just me?#okay#it’s just me and the anxiety disorder my parents were sure I’d grow out of against the world
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#making big purchases on my phone gives me anxiety ngl#i think i find it less trustworthy for some bizarre and irrational reason#twitter
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Yall ever think about how Ford had to relearn how to be a normal human being after 30 years of isolation
#notes:#Stan was trying to haggle with what is effectively a 7eleven employee... Because they didn't have the money for it#and also because Stan and his money anxiety... ☹️Ford probably has had to fight for scant resources and kiII for less...#Both of them need to get mental help and realise that it's okay#and that it's safe now.#You have money... And you no longer need to fight for everything you have#gravity falls#ford pines#grunkle ford#stan pines#grunkle stan#stanford pines#stanley pines
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✨🦄🐬🦖🌊 I JUST WANNA BE PART OF YOUR SYMPHONYYYYYYY✨🦄💖💕🐟🐬
#symphonyyyyyyy#symphony#dolphin#dolphin meme#symphony meme#sparkle#hearts#glitter#pink#hopecore#godzilla#pink godzilla#kaiju#early 2000s#dolphin art#godzilla art#artists on tumblr#digital art#drawing#fantasy#creature artist#creature design#digital artist#digital illustration#digital fanart#fanart#godzilla fanart#i have crippling anxiety#my art
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watching bridgerton and obviously there were a lot of things wrong with the way socializing has worked in the past, but honestly the idea of a "calling hour" is so appealing. office hours for friendship. you can show up unannounced at my home between 1 and 3pm. you must leave by 3pm. I may give you a pastry. lets bring that back
#bridgerton#lauren says things#i know the calling hour is for romantic prospects#(at least in bridgerton)#but there IS something to be said for having social rules! I like it to an extent!#no I don't have a panic disorder rooted in social anxiety why are you asking me that#and tbf one CAN just do this!#but working out social contracts with friends is hard and scary lol
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Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety
If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you
If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
People are allowed to be wrong about you
If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect
Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it
The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something
You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it
Most things are better after you sleep on them
Most things are better after you have a meal
Most things are better after you shower
Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"
If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction
If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction
"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier
If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two
You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction
When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery
People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves
If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it
If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable
If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it
If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it
Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step
Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary
If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike
Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP
No one cares what you look like
If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"
People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company
You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you
If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly
You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will
Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable
Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it
Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier
And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
#anxiety#long post#i have been an adult for the better part of a decade and it has gotten SO much easier as i internalized these#swearing tw
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I drew the gang,
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